#let me see how fit you are first.

[obstinaterixatrix]

I have a friend whose favorite series is a•t, which, Yknow, I am trying so hard to be polite about having extremely different tastes. but I cherish & support her and when it comes to bday presents I’m either waiting for someone to express a need/want for smth during any time of the year & just buying it & going ‘happy early/late birthday’ OR I’m planning months in advance (& sometimes collaborating w/ folks) for The Perfect Present but I can never bring myself to get something I’m halfhearted on… I’ve been on & off scrolling thru mercari/ebay/amazon/aliexpress and feeling very Eh abt the quality/size/price and was almost close to just getting two small cheap but cute plushies (13 cm & 10 cm :/), then on ebay I saw smth that was 20cm (good size) and actually very cute, but it was like $50 for the plush & $20 for shipping and while I cherish my pal I am not dropping $70 on a plushie (AND ESPECIALLY NOT ON A•T MERCH). so I do a exact match search of the specific brand and find one (1) online store selling it for $20 (incl shipping) (they’re having a 20% off sale). which is suspiciously low so I made sure to look up reviews outside the site & it looks legit, so I’m gonna buy it & hope that even if it’s not legit it’ll be an acceptable quality bootleg, and if it isn’t even that then I still have a month and a half to get one of my backup plans. in a week we’ll see if I get a Perfectionism Win.

[puppyeared]

who up seeing their disorder in a fictional character but feel like its not their place to put a name on it

[fagtainsparklez]

there’s absolutely nothing wrong with having previously identified with a lot of microlabels only to have realized those weren’t for you and only identifying as one or two things now, but if you list out all the microlabels you used to go by and have the punchline be “oh isn’t it CRAZY i identified as SO MANY things lol 🤪 i was so WEIRD and CRINGE back then 🤣” i am blowing you up with my mind

[ardate]

sniffs. man. i really want this job :(

[go-k-art-er]

AHGH FUCK WERE WE DOING JRWI HEADCANONS DID I MISS IT

anyway vyncent jrwi filipino real

[rubiatinctorum]

clearing out some clothes from years ago and i am haunted by things people gave to me that i've felt too guilty to not keep, clothes i bought for a job where i couldn't sit down so i didn't bother to check if i could sit down in them, velours that feel soft on the outside and itchy as hell on the inside, and so so so so so very many sheer blouses that i bought for some fucking reason even though i've never really loved wearing sheer blouses very much. i'm sorry environment. i'm sorry sustainability.

[iniziare]

Tag drop: Solas

[rosicheeks]

-

[lurking-latinist]

🐈

[as-rare-as-trees]

Queer books/movies recommendations

Hi!! Dear friends, I need your help. Could you drop in the comments any queer book/movie titles you can think of? It can be any genres, fiction, nonfiction, educational literature etc

We're making a bibliography at the library I work at for pride, and tho I have already researched and gathered a lot of titles, I want to put as many as possible, so I thought of asking here

(Note: I know I have some italian mutuals, so if any of you knows the titles in italian that'd be even better)

Thanks in advance!!

*edit: queer books/movies meaning both things that have being queer as their main topic, and also in general media with queer characters

[kyouka-supremacy]

I am totally pushing the aku top of the school agenda HOWEVER this mf would pop a vein before tutoring anyone (teaching math would end up in murder)

I swear I am extremely fascinated by and genuinely interested to understand what prompts this fairly spread perception of smart Akutagawa because I really can't see it.

Akutagawa is THE flawed character of the franchise. He has barely any redeemeing qualities. His being a ruthless, mindless dog, a beast, an animal is a central theme of his character: he's one of the most inhuman characters, no rationality, no emotions. It only makes sense he'd also be lacking in intellect, one of the most intrinsically human qualities, right? Let's also keep in mind that when it comes to intelligence, he was specifically trained since a very early age so that he wouldn't develop any critical thinking skill or wisdom. He was appositely built to be an executor, never a thinker. A killing machine, a mindless beast. He was made to be a tool, not a person. He is the very epitome of irrationality- and that much shows in everything he does! There's plenty canon evidence to support it. His actions are never guided by preliminary thoughts, he just acts on instinct, akin to an animal. He will kill his target in chapter 4 although his mission is specifically not to, he will barge into a building full of security guards right through the front door without even ordering his subordinates to offer support, he will go rogue and storm into the Moby Dick destroying everything in his path no matter the consequences, he will naïvely jump off a balcony to catch a repetitor just because his worst enemy said it had Dazai-san on the line- do I have to continue? His whole character is exclusively driven either by orders, or by instinct and irrationality. Guys, it would have been SO MUCH EASIER if upon seeing Ranpo's message Akutagawa had just took out his phone and gone “hey Chuuya-san, it's likely we've found the mastermind and the whole thing will be solved here at this place, can you come over one second?”. But he didn't, and it's not simply a matter of suspension of disbelief (in the way that the events are more satisfying this way). Was it for his pride then? Indeed, but Akutagawa's pride and irrationality are in a perpetual concomitant relationship of cause and effect, where one is constantly born from the other. I do think his very simple and straight-forward objectives (1. kill the Jinko 2. be acknowledge by Dazai-san 3. die) are themselves expression of his simple mindset, and so is a certain naïvety he has, that I honestly wish more people took into account when characterizing him.

It's funny because, the thematic relevance of it is the whole point- in reality, I don't think there's such a thing as a stupid person, I firmly believe everyone has their own kind of intelligence, a field each of us excells in. But it's exactly because Akutagawa isn't a person (well. in this context at least), but a character, that one can push a characteristic to its extremes in order to make it symbolic of something, in order to make an archetype out of his character. And Akutagawa at his core is irrationality, he is Dazai's failed trainee and ugliest foil, he is the ultimate pawn, he is the beast. The fact that Akutagawa is a character– it's relevant. He's not a person, he's a vassel for themes. I can dare to rudely talk about him like he was an animal because it's the narrative itself that before anyone else pushes the reader to see him in a dehumanizing way. Akutagawa once literally tore the skin off a man's neck with his teeth effectively killing them. It's quite not simple dog coding anymore lol. But he's just a dude from a book really, he's just symbolism: and that's why he can become a dog, or a pawn, or the stupidest person of Yokohama, as the author or reader pleases. It's really not that deep ahah

I can guess a possible counterpoint would be that perhaps, in a universe where he wasn't subject to the slums and Dazai's abuse such as high schools aus, Akutagawa would get his chance to be witty? But then I can't help but think, if you don't make Akutagawa stupid... Aren't you taking a fundamental trait of his character away from him? What's left of Akutagawa then? What would be the point of reading, let's say, a sskk high school fic if you can't recognize Akutagawa in it? But then again I guess this is exactly the reason why I can't bring myself to like most of alternative universe bsd fics (╥﹏╥)

Also, ultimately, there *are* personal preference components to it. In my headcanon Akutagawa has autism / adhd, and although those don't always have a negative impact on one's academic results, there is a chance they do. And I'd honestly lean towards that chance more when it comes with Akutagawa, because he is the pathetic man that has everything going wrong for him. There's symptoms in his impulsivity and scarce self-control, and I believe they'd make school life very hard for him, especially when it comes to focusing in classes and for studying- which is fitting tbh, can you imagine Akutagawa ever having a happy life? (I'm jk I swear I love him)

Besides, I must have mentioned how one of the main appeals of sskk for me is how despite being thoroughly flawed people they can still be loved. It's surprisingly comforting to think that even the most evil of people can be loved, and it's the same when it comes for stupidity. Stretching Akutagawa's flaws just makes him more symphatetic and enjoyable to read about.

[remyfire]

In old roleplaying circles, I used to have people get really angry at me because they found a lot of catharsis in taking their characters those agonizing angst without necessarily giving them an end point of healing whereas my characters would always try to prompt that moment of healing—would be an end point they could come to whenever they were ready, would love them through the pain instead of drive it higher—and I don't think I've really changed at all in that regard, and I hope that ends up being all right.

[katyspersonal]

Also another highlight of ER gameplay is how much Patches helped me without intending to (Fantomette don't read if you didn't find him yet)

So like I explored god knows how much and leveled and seen all kinds of caves yet, until I went down in the lake one (haven't killed dragon there yet, I am working on it). So there was that basic bitch boss cave ok? And I waited for like TEN DARN MINUTES for the boss to appear! TEN minutes!! I thought the game lagged so I gave up and decided to dig in the chest, and MOTHERFUCKING-

HE WAS THE BOSS HGKMKKGYHV LITERALLY THE LAST THING IN THE WORLD I EXPECTED!!!! PATCHES WAS A BOSS AAAAA

And so many years later he invented a new trick than just throwing the player off the cliff gfhfjgb And this time it is ACTUALLY player's fault because he didn't ask for help, nor gave advice, nor tossed shiny coins near the cliff, he just... left a chest near a place that looks like a camp, so it was ACTUALLY unfair to open it if you think of it. Damn, they made him have a point instead of being hostile when you didn't even do anything bad ;-; He's grown so much xD unlike his hair

As for how that helped me, I returned in that cave later. He wasn't there (later I learned if you take too long he leaves, so I had to see what he'd say in Youtube), but there was the trap chest. It teleported me in unfamiliar area but I already knew THIS kind of bears was dangerous, so I just snuck away for a bit... Found some sort of chapel, stepped on the round lift there, and it was just. Going down and down and down until it opened such a beautiful sight????

So apparently that took me into a super fun secret map UNDER the main map, it was so entertaining to explore! I could not stop taking the screenshots because there THE SKY AND THE COSMOS ARE THE ONE, and there I found those herbs I needed to craft the anti-madness boluses but had NO idea where to find. Also there were pillars I kept igniting and pillars on the way up the stairs, so when I found them all I got to fight a cool giant reindeer!

Basically the coolest adventure ever that would have missed out on if Patches didn't do his thing bykgjhgfg Because I honestly doubt I'd be able to find that spot on my own.

[born-to-lose]

As the Blind Channel concert in Nuremberg comes closer and I finally start researching the venue, I get anxious lmao

[ectoplasmer]

i'm fine *busy thinking about having an f/o carry me upstairs when I'm too tired to go by myself*

[arolesbianism]

Thinks oh so hard abt raccoon au printing pod doomed yuri.... What if you were a robot in love with your fellow robot but your past human selves had to fuck it all up and murder eachother 🙄