#let ne wear a hoodie damn it

[kpopsickies]

bathtub cuddles

sickie: Felix

Caretaker: Chan

pairing: Chanlix (ft dramatic baby Felix, and whipped Chan)

Felix p.o.v

I’m dying, I’m 100% sure of it. I must be, it is the only other explanation. I can’t breathe, my head hurts, my lungs are burning. I am 100% positive I am on death’s door. 

and above all. I need cuddles, from my Channie. but he’s at the studio. I want to call him and ask him to come home, but I know he’s busy and I don’t want to bother him. 

after a solid 20 minutes of debating with myself I finally texted Chan hyung with simply, “when you are on your way back can you pick up cough drops” I knew I could pass it off to just overworking my voice, that way he won’t be worried about me. and I was not surprised at all when Chan blew up my phone with “are you okay? Are you sick? Do you need me to come home? ect.” 

when suddenly my phone rang. It was Chan, of course. “hey baby” I say answering my phone. “oh Lixxie, your voice sounds so rough”

“I just overworked it yesterday” I choke out, coughing lightly into my fist. “I doubt that”

“why?”

“because you’re also congested, and you sound sick”

“I’m fine”

“uh-huh, sure, I’m on my way home now”

“wait! No!!! babe I’m fine” I say, coughing again, harsher this time. “yeah whatever baby, I’m on my way, I’ll stop at the store on the way home, so It’ll take longer than usual.”

“seriously Channie, I’m fine”

“liar. I’ll be right home”

“n-”

“I love you, see you in a few” he said before hanging up

ugh, I swear this man will be the death of me, and yet I’m not complaining, I could really use some cuddles right now.

About 20 minutes later Chan came in with a bag. He dumped the bag out onto the foot of the bed. Cough drops, tissue boxes, Tylenol, and pocky spilled out onto the bed. He came over and placed a soft kiss on my forehead, his brow creasing in concern. “Lixxie, I think you have a fever”

“really? I don’t think so”

“I’m pretty sure you do, I’ll be right back I’m gonna go grab the thermometer”

“okay” although now that he mentions it I do feel kinda feverish, like that cold but hot, achy, tired feeling. He came back a second later with the thermometer in his hand. “open” he said a slight command to his voice. “yes sir” I say with a hint of sarcasm. He places the thermometer under my tongue, “now don’t move, I’ll be right back” I nod. As we leaves I sigh softly, I hate sitting still. 

Chan still wasn’t back yet and this damn thing still isn’t done. I whimper quietly, why do I feel so awful? Where is Chan? I want cuddles. Finally the thermometer beeps, and Chan comes in only a few seconds after. He plucks the thermometer from my mouth and reads it. After a few seconds he smiles softly and kisses my forehead. “Lix, baby, you have a really high fever”

“I do?” I say surprised, I mean, I knew I had some sort of  fever but I didn’t really think it was that high. “yep, 102.3, I think you should take a cool bath to lower the fever”

“fine, but only if you bathe with me” he blushed a little bit but agreed.

While he fills up the bathtub I strip down to my boxers. Chan does the same. The two of us climb in. He sits behind me, I lean into his chest, he wraps his arms around me. “i love you” He says before kissing the top of my head gently, with much love. “you’re so cute” I say taking his hands. 

“I’m not cute, you’re the cute one”

“okay if I’m cute then you’re sexy” I say kissing the back of his hands. He blushes bright red. I giggle softly at him. “are you laughing at me?” he asks with fake indignation in his voice. “maybe a little” I say smirking. He is quiet for a second before suddenly attacking my back of my neck with kisses. I let out a soft squeak of surprise. 

We sit in a comfortable silence after his evil mischievous attack. When suddenly there is a tickle that pricks the back of my nose. I know I’m about to sneeze but Chan has his arms around me tightly, pinning my arms at my side. “Channie”

“yes baby”

“i ne-ehtshhu echshhu hetshu-”

“bless you”

“thanks, and ummm.... sorry” I say softly, noticing that I had literally sneezed directly on his arms. He smiled warmly at me. “it’s okay honey, you didn’t mean to” He says softly, reaching out of the bathtub to grab a handful of tissues, he wipes off his arm, and holds a few up to my nose. “blow” 

“n-no” I say shyly. He rolls his eyes. “you’re so cute when your shy” he says, handing the tissue to me. I wipe my nose. 

He leans down to kiss me on the lips. I quickly cover his mouth. “HEY!!!”

“no kissing I don’t want you to get sick”

“I don’t care, I wanna kiss you”

“No!”

“let me kiss you!!”

“I might sneeze in your mouth”

“I don’t care”

“that’s gross”

“I don’t care, I love you, I want to kiss you” He says suddenly closing the gap between us. I melt into the kiss for half a second before pulling away. “I SAID NO KISSING!!!”

“don’t lie, you enjoyed it”

“.....no”

“liar”

“okay, fine, i liked it, but I don’t want you to get sick”

“I appreciate the concern, but I’m not going to get sick, I have an immune system of steel”

“uh-huh, only because you built up an immunity to everything by never sleeping.” 

“I sleep”

“Channie, baby, you fell asleep during dinner yesterday and face planted into your salad.”

“that..... doesn’t prove anything”

“uh-huh, sure, whatever” I say laughing softly, curling up against his chest. 

“I love you”

“I love you to” he says kissing my forehead, “you know, I think your fever has gone down, if you want we could go cuddle in bed instead”

“I’d like that” 

We both climb out of the bathtub, and head to our room, “Channie, baby, can I wear one of your hoodies?”

“I don’t know, those are special to me” He says, but he’s already gone to his closet to get his favorite one. I reach out and make grabby hands toward it. He smiles fondly, kisses my forehead, then hands it to me. 

After we finish getting dressed we climb into bed and curl up together. “Do you want to watch a movie?”

“nope, I just want to cuddle” I yawn “and sleep” He kisses my forehead (for like the thousandth time) “sounds good to me”

The two of us curl up  Chan’s comforting arms wrapped around, like a warm blanket of safety. I am dozing off, half asleep, when suddenly Chan sneezes. 

“I TOLD YOU THAT YOU’D GET SICK”

part 2 anyone?

[milazka]

𝐋𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐨𝐧 | 𝐉𝐉 𝐌𝐚𝐲𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐤

𝑖𝑚𝑎𝑔𝑒 𝑓𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑑 𝑜𝑛 𝑝𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑡

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 : 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬: 𝟐.𝟏𝐤

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 : 𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐥 𝐬𝐞𝐱 (𝐟𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞 & 𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠), 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐮𝐧𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐬𝐞𝐱.

𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 : 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐨𝐧 - 𝐭𝐨𝐦 𝐰𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐞𝐫

𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭 : @𝐣𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐚𝐡𝐧𝐰𝐚𝐚𝐥𝐝​ « 𝐨𝐦𝐠 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐚 𝐣𝐣 𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐞 ����𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐩𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐣𝐣'𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐝𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐚 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐨𝐭𝐡 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐲 𝐚𝐭 𝐣𝐨𝐡𝐧 𝐛'𝐬 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞'𝐬 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭 𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐮𝐞𝐬? 𝐈 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐩𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐨𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐬𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡»

𝐚/𝐧 : 𝐨𝐦𝐠𝐠𝐠𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐨 𝐡𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞! 𝐢’𝐦 𝐝𝐞𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐚 𝐬𝐥𝐮𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐣𝐣 𝐦𝐚𝐲𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐤! 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲!

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 : 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐧 𝐛𝐨𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐚 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐤𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐨𝐭𝐡 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐦 𝐝𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧 𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐞...

─── °• ❀ ───

The sky is covered with gray clouds, announcing the imminent arrival of the hurricane. Sitting on the wood railing of the gallery, you enjoy the calm of nature before the storm. The tall grass of the marsh sway to the rhythm of the wind, as if they were dancing.

 “It’s gonna be a big one.” A voice says behind you.

 You turn your head over your shoulder to see your best friend standing in the door frame, his arms crossed against his bare chest. Sweat still covers his body due to the fact that he and John B took the HMS Pogue out of the water to protect it from the hurricane. A joint in the corner of his mouth, he takes a few steps towards you, placing his hands on the railing on each side of you and presses his chin on your shoulder.

“You’re wearing my hoodie.” JJ says.

 “I was cold, and I didn’t bring mine.” You explain, resting your head on his while some of his golden hair tingling your cheek.

 “I like seeing you in my clothes.” He whispers to your ear.

 You don’t even blush or react; you are used to flirt with JJ, you both do it all the time.

 “Maybe I should head home.” You say to him before taking the joint between your fingers to inhale the smoke.

 As soon as you’re done talking, torrential rain begins to fall from the sky and the wind start to blow hard.

 “Looks like you’re not gonna go home tonight.” JJ smirks, watching the rain fall from the roof.

 “Thanks Captain Obvious, don’t know what I would do without you.” You mock him with a wink.

 He grunts in the crook of your neck, making you giggle. The rain intensifies and water drops start to fall on your bare thighs. You turn your body and drop with both feet on the gallery, finding yourself caught between JJ and the railing. You accidentally brush your hand against his crotch while you try to grab the phone in his pocket to see the time.

 “Whoa baby, you trying to make me hard?” He smirks.

 “In your dream, lover boy.” You sigh, pushing him gently to get inside.

 The boy passes a hand through his hair; god, you have an effect on him that no other girl has! But he knows the damn rule; no pogue on pogue mackin and he would not risk your friendship just to have a good fuck with you.

 Once in the house, you join John B in the kitchen. He is making a sandwich with the few groceries left that are not expired.

 “Hey JB, is it okay if I stay until the storm calms down?” You ask while he’s decapsulating a bottle of beer. “My mom isn’t home and my brother can’t come to pick me up.”

 “Of course, Y/n/n. I’m not gonna throw you out in the storm.” He giggles.

 “Thank John B, you’re the best! And can I borrow a pair of sweatpants? I’m freezing.”

 “Yep, check in the last drawer of my dresser.”

 You make your way to the back of the house and enter John B’s room. Many Hawaiian shirts and bathing suits lay on the floor, not even fully dried. You take out a pair of grey sweatpants from the drawer and put them on the bed while you take off your shorts. Your back faces the open bedroom door, keeping you from seeing that JJ's eyes land on your butt only covered with black thong. His forearm pressed against the door frame; he can't help but smile stupidly at the sight of you, half-naked and wearing his hoodie. You jump when you hear someone whistle you. Quickly turning your body of 180 degrees, you pull the sweatpants up to your waist, making big eyes to JJ.

 “Perv!” You shout to him while he giggles.

 “You didn’t close the door, are you into exhibitionism, Y/n?” He smirks.

 “And are you into voyeurism?” You reply, making him lose his smirk.

 You proudly smile, tying the oversized sweatpants so they can fit you. You put back your worn red converses and walk towards JJ, stopping once you’re standing in front of him in the door frame.

 “You enjoyed the view, didn't you?” You ask with a slight mocking grin.

 “What makes you believe that?” He says, lifting an eyebrow.

 You close the gap between you too, grabbing his shoulders with your hands and putting yourself on your tiptoe so that your mouth is a few inches from his ear.

 “The bulge in your pants told me, baby.” You whisper, softly biting his ear before pulling away quickly.

 You walk in the corridor smiling victoriously, leaving him alone and speechless. For once, you were the one who had the last word in your little teasing.

   ***

 The power suddenly breaks while you admire Bodhi's Apollo body in the movie Point Break on the tv screen.

 “Looks like hurricane Agatha has already began to make damages.” John b says, watching the rain hit the window. “I’m gonna go to bed, you two can sleep in the spare room.”

 “Good night JB.” You say to him with a smile.

 “Good night, sweetheart.” He says back, leaving you and JJ alone in the living room.

 Still lying on the sofa, your head rests on JJ’s lap while he runs his hand through your hair. You put your hand in front of your mouth when you yawn, tired from the day. Slowly getting up and leaving JJ on the sofa, you head to the sink to fill yourself a glass of water.

 "I'm going to be in the room." JJ tells you, walking towards the corridor.

 You finish your glass of water watching nature go wild outside. Chills run through your body when you see a lightning strike on a tree near the house. You head quickly to the bedroom, banging your thigh against the kitchen table because you can’t see a thing in the darkness. The bedroom is lit up by the flame of a candle lit by JJ who is lying on the bed, shirtless. You subtly bite your bottom lip at the sight of his tanned and muscular body.

 “Can you help me hydrate my back? I have a burning sunburn.” You ask, handing him a tube of body lotion.

 He nods as he sits on his knees at the end of the bed, grabbing the blue tube. You put yourself in front of him, your back facing him and take off his sweater, keeping it pressed against your chest to cover it.

 “You already took off your underwear for me, baby?” He teases you when he sees your naked back.

 “You’re unbelievable, Maybank. I just hate wearing them, they are not comfort- Oh shit it’s cold!” You squeak when you feel the cold cream against your burning skin.

 Chills run through your body as his hands gently rub your skin. In the mirror in front of you, you observe him concentrate as he applies the lotion on your skin. Your body tenses when his lips start to leave wet kisses along the back of your neck. His hands are now on your ribs, gently touching your skin with the point of his fingers while he continues to kiss your shoulders.

 “We should not be doing this JJ…” You whisper trying to be the reasonable one.

 “C’mon baby, I know you want it as much as I do.” He groans against your ear, making your head fall back on his shoulder.

 “What about the rule?” You sigh, almost no longer controlling your reactions to his touch.

“I’m a rule breaker, baby, I don’t give a fuck about it.” He says, pulling you closer so your back is against his bare chest.

 Shivers are sent down your spine when he starts to suck the skin of your collarbone. You take a deep breath with your eyes closed and stop thinking about the consequences for once in your life. You turn to face him, letting his sweater slide down your arms on to the floor. His eyes widen as they look down to your bare breast. Instantly, he grabs you by the waist and slams you on the bed, his body laying over you. His lips join yours for a wet and fiery kiss. Your hands on his neck, you draw him closer to you, feeling the warmth of his skin against yours.

 “Don’t make me regret this.” You say, looking deeply in his eyes.

“I’m gonna give you the best fuck of your life, baby girl.” He teases before grabbing you under your knees to push your legs back and wide open.

He unlaces your sweatpants and takes them off at the same time as your thong. His head between your thighs, he kisses your skin and sucks it at a few places. Without any notices, he dips one finger inside you and start to move it back and forth. Your moaning is quickly smothered by his hand on your mouth, preventing sounds from coming out.  

 “You’re gonna need to keep it low, baby, unless you want John B to join us.” He smirks between your legs.

 You roll your eyes and softly bite the palm of his hand with your teeth, making him giggles. His tongue starts to play with your clit while he adds a second finger inside you.

 “Fuck JJ…” You moan in a low voice while you clench around his fingers.

 “That was just the appetizer baby.” He smirks, grabbing you by the hips to pull you to the end of the bed where you sit, leaning on your hands behind you

 Without breaking his gaze from you, he slowly slips his fingers between your lips to make you taste yourself. You lick them and make him smiles arrogantly when you put your hand on his crotch, squeezing it tightly.

 “Good girl.” He whispers once you’re done cleaning his fingers from your juice.

You stand up and grab his belt, undoing it while you kiss his jawline. He tilts his head, allowing you the access to his neck where you softly suck his skin, leaving red marks that will probably betray you both tomorrow, but none of you seem to bother with that. You push him over the edge of the bed, making him sit down while you take off his shorts and boxers. He leans back on his hands, staring at you while you get down on your knees to take his shaft in your hand and start to move up and down. He licks his bottom lips and let out a small moan escape when you start to slide your tongue along its length.

 “So hard for me, Maybank.” You tease him before wrapping your mouth around the tip of his cock.

 One of his hands find his way in your hair, grabbing them to make you take him deeper. You bobble your head over his body and apply more pressure with your hand at the base of his length. JJ’s head fall back when you loosen up your throat and take him all in. He groans, pushing your head with his hand, making you choke slightly on him. He let you pull out and take a breath of air.

 “Time for dinner now.” He whispers, grabbing you under your thighs to slam you against the bed for the second time.

 He grabs a condom from his pants pocket, but you stop him before he unpacks it.

 “I’m on the pill.” You smile, taking the little golden pack and throwing it at the end of the bed.

 You grab him lightly by his necklace and kiss him, feeling the little smirk on his lips. JJ opens your legs and start to rub his cock against your clit and over your wet entrance. He pushes into you, making you bite his bottom lip to hold back a moan. He grunts against your lips as he slides back and forth in you, making you moan harder. He places one of his hands on your mouth and wraps the other around your throat. He slightly chokes you, keeping his eyes lock in yours while he starts to pump faster inside you.

 “Oh fuck, baby. I’m close.” He groans, unwrapping his hand from your throat to let your breath.

 His thumb starts to rub your clit, increasing the tension in your body. Your nails scratch his back, making him grunts. You hit your climax, moaning and biting his hand that is still on your mouth. He trusts his cock deeply inside you a few more times before he cums all over your stomach. JJ withdraws and drops onto the bed next to you.

  “So? Do you regret?” He asks you, still breathing heavily.

 “It was definitely the best fuck of my life.” You say, turning your face to the side to meet his blue eyes. “We should do it again sometime.”

“I’ve no objection to that.” He smirks before gently kissing your lips. “Now, time to make the dishes.” He adds with a little laugh, grabbing his shirt to clean up his seeds on your bare stomach.

milamaybank’s masterlist

[amane-by-together]

Hanafuda || Amane Yugi

(Part 4 of 10)

genre: fluff, school, slice of life, modern au (where all wonders live)

warning: cursing

summary: amane yugi spends his school days skipping classes until he meets [name] [surname], a student from the other class, who was also skipping classes and eventually the two of them formed a platonic friendship. cutting classes and playing hanafuda together strengthens their friendship but soon unexpected feelings blossom between the two.

“I don't know how I will face her...” Amane was wiping one of the tables in the cafe he's working in. It's a donut cafe, no wonder why he chose that. “Is [name]-san mad at me?”

The two teens decided to take the whole class out of awkwardness. “Yo, Yugi-san!” one of his seniors playfully smacked his back. “You've been sputtering nonsense while blushing, you okay lil bud?”

“It's no big deal Senpai.” Amane sheepishly laughs, rubbing the back of his neck with imaginary flowers surrounding him. Akaji is Amane's senior who is in college and probably the only person he could talk to in the cafe.

“Hm.” Akaji took a seat and skeptically looked at Amane. “My gut instincts told me you're having girl problems.”

“S-Senpai!” Amane swatted his hand while chuckling nervously. Currently, he's having problems wondering what was [name]'s reaction when he tried to kiss her.

Akaji grinned, putting his legs on top of the table as he crossed his arms. “Girl problems then, I knew this day would come—ow?!”

“Ah, Good evening! Matsubara-senpai!” Amane bowed when the sky blue-haired girl whacked the back of Akaji's head.

“Good evening to you too, Yugi-kouhai.” Matsubara greeted him back in a stern tone. Akaji rubbed the back of his head and gave the female a sour look. “You should set a better example towards your juniors, Houta!” she scolded.

“I was about to tell him some advice, Kanon.” Akaji deadpanned. Matsubara was Akaji's childhood friend, they're both in college but they go to different schools. “Looks like Yugi-san has a crush on someone from his school.”

“So what if I do?” Amane retorted back.

“Stop it.” Matsubara gave Akaji a cold glare to prevent him from teasing Amane even further. “It's normal to have a crush on someone from school, besides we've been through that phase.”

Amane slumped his shoulders while pouting slightly. Asking advice from his seniors from work is a handful, Akaji is someone who would give bad but useful advice while Matsubara, being a calm and collected woman, is the one telling them whether you should follow his ways. “I do have a crush on someone from school...”

“But I may have made things awkward between us.”

“What did you do though?” Akaji asks.

“I almost kissed her...” Amane mumbled which Matsubara and Akaji heard him. Akaji lets out a small snicker, earning a pinch from his childhood friend. “So I decided to go to class without saying a word to her.”

“I think she hates me now.” Amane covered his face. Matsubara stayed behind the counter as a cashier. Akaji stood up to stretch his arms. Amane pulled out his phone to check out the time. It was already 6:17 pm.

“Who's that on your wallpaper?” Akaji places his arm on top of Amane's head while looking at his phone.

“Akaji-senpai!” Amane hid his phone from the redhead quickly. Akaji snickered mischievously at his embarrassed junior. Akaji is like that one friend who had polished nails and hoops who knows all sorts of tea. “I-It's none of your business—”

“Houta!” Akaji flinched at the blue-haired girl's voice coming from the counter. “Give the kid some personal space!”

“Isn't Yugi like 16?”

“Guys, guys, cut it off.” Amane prevents them from bickering by raising his left hand like a cop. Sometimes you would think that Amane is the mature one in the trio yet he was dubbed as childish from [name]. “We don't want customers to think that the two of you aren't working together.”

Amane adjusts his apron wrapped around his hips. He brushes his choppy locks between his fingers while licking his lips. The door opened with a ringing of the small bell. “Welcome—[name]-san?!”

[name] entered the cafe with eyes of bewilderment as her eyes landed on Amane. She was wearing an unzipped oversized hoodie, a tucked-in white shirt, and a denim skirt. “E-Eh? A-Amane-kun?!” she stammered.

Her little brother, who's in grade school, was standing next to her. “Neechan?” Jiro asked, looking up to his big sister. The siblings sat at a table near the counter. Amane couldn't look at [name] in the eye without blushing.

“So you work here, Amane-kun?” [name] asked in a slightly teasing tone. Amane averted his gaze while holding the notepad, waiting for [name]'s order. “Not gonna lie, your outfit suits you.”

“I told you it's embarrassing.”

“I said it's not, you're pretty handsome Amane-kun.” [name] convinces him otherwise. Amane's heart skipped a beat and wrote down [name]'s order. “You know, I almost cried recently...”

“Why did you cry?” Amane worryingly asks [name] until he realizes why. He went to the bathroom and never came back to the rooftop since he decided to take classes to avoid her. He didn't mean to do it, it's just that he's too flustered. “Wanna sort things out privately?”

“That sounded like a booty call to me—”

“Houta, you ass!” Matsubara pulled on to Akaji's ear, pinching it painfully. “There's a kid!”

[name] nodded slowly in Amane's direction. She told Jiro that she needed to sort things out with Amane so that they could go back to being best friends again. The two of them went to the locker room. “I'm sorry,” Amane apologizes. “I didn't come back, it was an accident I swear—”

“I thought you hate me or something...” [name] started to tear up. Amane died a little inside because of how precious she is, like, you just gotta protect [name].

“No, no.” Amane cupped her cheeks while smiling fondly at [name]. “I will never hate you, [name]-san.”

“Really?” [name] asked while placing her palms on top of Amane's warm hands. Amane hummed in response, he doesn't hate [name], how could he hate her if she keeps making him fall for her even more?

“You're too cute, I swear to god~” Amane nuzzled his nose against [name]'s, eliciting a blissful giggle from the female. “By the way, I'm still sorry about before I invaded your personal space.”

“It's fine.” [name]'s face lit up with happiness with a warm blush enveloping on her mochi cheeks. “You can be affectionate and clingy around me. I felt really warm when you gave me that hug.”

“Then, will a kiss on the cheek suffice~?”

“I'll just hug you—” Amane interrupts her by pressing a kiss on her cheek. [name] froze yet she was warm. Amane chuckled at her reaction, so he gave her a closed eye grin.

“They say kisses heal a burn so your whole face is burning, can't help it~” He says at her blushing state, then he lightly pinches her cheek. “Cute~”

“Okay, okay, that's enough—” [name] pried his hand off her cheek. Amane obliged and pulled his hand away. “So we're good now?”

“Always~!” Amane dusted off his apron. “I gotta go work now or Akaji-senpai will get the wrong idea if we take too long.”

Amane turned around to leave the locker room. [name] twiddled her fingers while smiling. “You know, it would have been better if you continued it...” she mumbled.

“Hm?” He turned his head back to [name]'s direction. Amane was sure she had said something but he couldn't make out what he had heard. “Were you saying something?”

“Nothing.” [name] flails her hands with a quick smile to reassure him that it wasn't a big deal. Amane sighed in relief and headed out first as [name] followed.

“Neechan!” Jiro waved his french fries to get [name]'s attention. Her eyes brightened as she immediately went over to her little brother. “I watched your milk tea and donuts by the way.”

“Thanks, kid.” [name] ruffled his hair and sat back down to her seat as she grabbed her milk tea with pearls. “Sorry I took longer, I had to sort things out with Amane-kun.”

“Is he your boyfriend Neechan?”

[name] choked on the pearl when Jiro asked if Amane was her boyfriend. “J-Jiro—!” she scolded between coughs. “Why so sudden?”

“Here, have some fries Oneechan.” Jiro offered her some of his fries. Amane chuckled at their dynamic, to think that [name] was also an older sibling is admirable.

“He's your younger brother?” Amane grabbed a chair and sat in front of their table.

“Yeah,” [name] replied. “Jiro [surname], he's 5th grade.”

“Nii-chan, want some?” Jiro handed Amane a donut. Amane quickly thanked the little boy and received the donut, munching it gratefully. “Ah, Oneechan! A classmate of mine is gonna come over tomorrow!”

“Ne, Amane-kun.”

“Hm?”

“When's your shift over?” [name] asked.

“Later at 7:00 pm, why?” Amane questioned her back.

“I was wondering if you'd like to come over to my house...”

Amane choked internally. He looked at [name] in pure disbelief, shakily pointing a finger at her. “You want me to come over?” he asked.

“I hope you don't mind, it's okay if you decline of course.” [name] swats her hands in front of Amane. “You're probably busy after this.”

“Maybe some other time, [name].” Amane answers, it made [name] a little bit sad but it's fine nonetheless. Amane felt kind of bad for declining her request of coming over. He has his own life too, like taking care of his brother or doing the housework. But then an idea came to mind. “I'll walk you two home instead.”

“Is that okay for you, though?”

“I don't want you to go alone at night, it might be dangerous.” Amane insists. [name] nodded and sipped on her milk tea slowly. He slowly averted his gaze with a small blush on his face. “And I can't afford to lose you...” he murmured.

[name]’s cheeks warmed at his sudden words. She glances away from the amber-eyed boy and continues to sip on her milk tea to compose herself before she can face him again. Amane shyly stares at [name]. He lets out an exaggerated sigh, thinking to himself that he was crushing so damn hard on [name].

Amane pulls out his phone from the pocket of his apron. “Ah, [name]-san,” The amber-eyed boy looked at the time. “My shift is finished, come on, let's get you two home.”

“We'll wait for you outside.” [name] stands up from the table along with her little brother. Amane cleaned up the table with a stupid in loved smile upon his strikingly perfect visuals.

Akaji rests his elbow on top of Amane's choppy hair. “So, that's your crush?” he asked with a teasing tone. Amane blushes and pried his senior's arm off his head. “It's amusing seeing you being in love~”

“Then what if she is my crush?” Amane glared at him as his whole face was heating up like crazy. He let out a small 'hmph' from his lips and headed over to the locker room.

[name] was waiting outside, carrying her brother's school bag while humming. Amane got out of the cafe and tiredly smiled at her. “Sorry if I take too long.”

“No worries.” [name] reassured the boy. “Come on, let's go.”

The three started to walk together in the night. Amane side-eyed the female next to him and his amber eyes trailed down to her hand. ‘Am I in love with [name]?’

Amane subtly wrapped his pinky finger around [name]'s while looking away. ‘Amane what the actual crumbs are you doing—? Should I pull away—?’

[name] clasps his gentle hand, her face warms along with her ears. The two teens averted their glimpses from each other as they continued walking alongside without the knowledge of her little brother. Amane is definitely feeling butterflies in his very own stomach, maybe this isn’t platonic at all since he’s catching feelings.

“Ah, we’re here now,” [name]’s eyes trailed down to his hand that was still interlocked with hers. Amane seems he doesn't want to let go of her gentle hand. “Amane-kun, your hand…”

“Sorry!” The choppy haired boy quickly drew back his hand and scratched his cheek. [name] beckoned her brother to go back inside the apartment just to have an alone time with Amane. Now, the two of them grew silent waiting on who will talk first.

Fate decided, Amane should speak. “No hard feelings?” he winced, shrugging his shoulder like a dork he is. Y/n smiled softly and spread her arms.

“Hug?” she asked. Amane ran in her arms and gave her a big hug, pressing his cheek against hers and squealed a bit as. “Hey Amane-kun?”

“Yeah?” His face warms up.

“I like you.”

Amane pulled away from the hug to look at her while processing what the girl had said. “So I'm going to stay by your side no matter what.” then she swatted her hands to betray her feelings. “Of course I meant it as a friend thing—”

“I like you too, Y/n-san.” He reached over to mess with her hair. “You’re the first girl who ever told me that she liked me, I appreciate that.”

“I gotta go home now,” Amane pats her shoulders and walks away a bit. “I'll be making lunch for us two, so better look forward to it~”

Y/n gave him one last smile. “Always,”

taglist: @closetweebsmh @closetwaffle @beonanagyu

[heyheydidjaknow]

I would’ve posted this earlier but, alas, I passed out early. This is a longer one, but tumblr got its act together so I can post it all in one part. You guys know where the other chapters are, and if you don’t, they’re at the end of the chapter. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go eat straight Nutella.

Chapter 10

“I’m thinking about getting some gloves.”

He looks over at you as he laces up his skates. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” you nod, smiling slightly to yourself as you look your hands over, trying to imagine what they would look like. “Like, badass, fingerless gloves.”

He smiles. “Dude, those would look metal as fuck.”

“Totally, right?” Your smile widens. “With studs and shit.”

He gets to his feet, hopping onto the ice. “Hell yeah.” He drops a puck to assault as you go back to your backed-up coursework the best you can—your handwriting has gone to hell, but you are working with what you have.

You flinch at the crack of his stick, the cross of the T ending up underneath the letter somehow. A cheer from Casey tells you the rubber cylinder’s fate.

‘I swear I learned this.' You squint at the basic algebra, the pencil, crudely held in your fist, hovering over the packet. ‘Why can’t I do this?’

“How’s your pile coming along?” Another crack.

“It’s comin’.” You run your fingers through your hair. “Just… trynna remember how to do ne—… subtraction.” ‘Not debate. Negating is debate.’

He laughs. Another crack. “Man, that thing really fucked you over, huh?”

“Thoroughly.” You decide against continuing to torture yourself, having been at it for the past five hours—most of it in the library before Casey invited you to watch him practice some more— and set the large stack of homework back in your bag. “Are you actually making the shots?”

“Casey Jones doesn’t miss shots.” Another crack.

“Pardon me, oh almighty king of the ice.” You stand on your good leg, grabbing the side of the wall to watch as he went back to collect his pucks.

You two have managed to bond over a mutual respect/love of heavy metal and hockey and, seeing as you are staying out of the Hamatos’ hair for a while—not upon request, but out of courtesy—you have managed to spend a lot more time with him than you may have otherwise. Your school has not assigned Biology any big projects yet, so, until you are assigned it, you do not have anything other than your health to stress about.

“Pardon accepted.” You watch his form as he performs another slap shot.

“You…” you trail off, trying to remember what you were going to say.

“What?”

You shrug. “Dunno.” You lean your head on your arms. “I’ll remember eventually.”

He drops the second puck. “Got any plans after this?”

You sigh. “Nope. Probably gonna head home and try not to cut my fingers making dinner again.”

He takes another shot. “Then let’s go out after this. You and me.”

You smile. “What, don’t have any plans either?”

“Nah.” He drops the third. “Dad doesn’t care if I’m home late anyway.”

“True, true.” You have decided against prying into his home life; it is not your place and does not concern you in the slightest. “Where do you wanna go?”

“Wanna catch a movie? Heard there was this new pizza place just a couple blocks down if you wanna try to sneak it in.”

You snicker. “In the box and all?”

“Yes.” He grins mischievously and hits this one off the walls. Some way, somehow, it still makes it into the goal. “I bet your sweatshirt is big enough to stick the box under.”

You stick your tongue out at him. “Not in the mood for burns on top of scars, Jones,” you reprimand him teasingly. “That just ain't it.”

“Then you can wear mine under that one and—”

“Your sweat-soaked hoodie you’ve been practicing in all day?” You cringe at the thought. “Over my dead body.”

“I mean…” he licks his teeth, smile widening, “it’s not exactly like you’re in the best—”

You laugh. “So not cool!”

He puts his hands up in defense, gliding over. “I mean, am I wrong, though?”

“That is completely besides the point, you ass.” You balance on your foot, crossing your arms. “Damn. Making fun of the girl with the broken leg.”

He leans against the wall. “Man, you were dying before the crash.”

You roll your eyes. “Alright, whatever, Jones.” You lean against your hand. “How’s Johanna,” you sing.

He presses his hand against your face, pushing you away. “Annie is doing fine.”

You grin, steadying yourself on the wall. “Do you feel her, Johanna?”

“I’m gonna tell her you call her that if you don’t quit it.”

“Do you think that walls can hide her? Even when you’re at her window?”

He pushed his arm all the way out. You hop back.

“Her name isn’t even Johanna.”

“But she is Johanna,” you whine in protest, not bothering to hide your mirth. “She has the hair, the voice, the disposition. She’s an ingénue and you know it.” You have been teasing him about this for a while now: the girl in question—Annabelle Halshaw, a year below you two—had caught his eye when he had heard through the grapevine that she was the lead singer in some indie band. When he had shown you a picture and told you the story, you insisted on calling her Johanna for her golden hair and soft, sweet singing voice he had proudly had you listen to.

“She’s not.”

You roll your eyes, sitting back down as you grab your bag. “Lie to yourself all you want,” you goad, “but deep down, you know in your heart that the truth,” you put a finger up, “is apparent.”

He hops off the ice, sitting next to you as he unlaces his skates. “Whatever.” He smirks. “How’s The Don?”

You avert your gaze. “I haven’t seen ‘im.”

“Boo.” He tied the laces together. “Some girlfriend you are,” he ribs.

You go red. “Not my boyfriend. Not even friends with benefits.”

“Yeah, sure.” He sets the skates into his bag. “That’s why you already know his family.”

“That—”

“And why you’ve had him over to your place.”

“If you don’t cool your tits, I’m telling Lucy you’re crushing on her friend.”

“Don’t you dare!”

“What,” you simper, “think I won’t?”

He grabs his bag. “If you do, I’ll show her that video.”

You laugh, following him out of the rink. “You’re the worst.” You note how strange it is that he spent so little time on the ice as you two walk out, but you do not say anything about it.

“Hey, you’re the one throwing threats around.”

“Yeah,” you argue, “but my threat is clearly better.”

He rolls his eyes, pushing you again.

You two keep chatting on the way to the theatre about anything and everything, from new bands to upcoming games to the newest blockbuster horror movies. You are not personally on the hockey team, but, as his friend, it is your duty to care. Besides, you figure, it gives you something to look forward to.

The movie is fine. You convince him against sneaking an entire pizza in, you split a bucket of popcorn, and you give him shit for getting freaked out by the disembowelment scene. It is payback for him teasing you about crying during the last movie you two went to a couple of days ago.

You two stand at the streetlight.

“Dude, it’s like eight,” he groans. “It’s not even late.”

“True,” you agree. “Counterpoint: I still have another week’s worth of work to do by Friday on top of the homework I’ll have to do anyway, so unless you wanna help—”

“Forget I asked.” He pulls his hood up against the autumn wind. “Need me to walk you back?”

“Nah.” You shrug. “If someone mugs me, they’ll give me an excuse to not do my homework.”

“Murdered?

“I’m already halfway there.”

He grins. “See ya tomorrow, Y/N.”

“See ya, Jones.” You wave as he runs off.

The walk home is quiet and considerably easier than it was a couple of weeks ago. Seeing as you now get queasy whenever you get into a car, you have been limited to taking the subway and walking, which, among other things, has contributed positively to your physical strength. You know that you should probably at least try to take the bus or a cab around town to build your tolerance up, but the last time you tried, you had almost tripped and fallen from how shaky your legs were getting out. Oddly enough, you note as you go through the door, you do not have a considerably larger fear of heights than you did before, or of fire, but cars were tripping you up, even though you were the one that crashed it. You feel thankful that, at least, you do not think your fear is crippling. At least, you reason, you can still get into the car.

You lock the door behind you, debating whether you feel like adding to the collection of cuts you now possess— they are self-inflicted, but not intentionally so; you stubbornly refuse to acknowledge the fact that you physically cannot use your hands to cut things. You decide against it tonight, tossing your bag on the bed as you sprawl across it, admittedly exhausted. You allow yourself a couple of seconds with your eyes closed before you pull yourself up with a groan and get back to work.

A part of you wishes that you had the physical energy to stay out longer. You are always trying to find excuses not to sleep, and although the mountain of homework and readjusting your timelines for things you missed is certainly one way to keep yourself preoccupied, it is not exactly what you would consider fun. Then again, reliving your greatest traumas while you sleep is not exactly fun either.

You catch yourself peeling at the newly applied bandages on your fingers, fingernails catching under the crudely applied adhesives. Applying bandages properly requires more dexterity and patience than you currently possess, and you are hardly going to ask someone else for help with something as stupid as that. You have lasted this long without needing too much help. People can live by themselves. You will live, probably. Well? Not your concern.

‘I should eat something.’ Your eyes strain to focus on the piece of paper in front of you, your mind wandering aimlessly as you try to impress the actual importance of finishing this upon yourself, but you find that is an insurmountable feat.

You drop your bag off the side of the bed, reaching down and pulling your shoe off, leaning back into your pillows, the weight of the day practically immobilizing you. Fumbling hands switch the lamp off, bathing your room in momentary, blissful darkness before the gravity of your decision sets in.

“Alright, me,” you breathe to yourself. “What’s it gonna be today? My folks? Bradford? What’s his face? Hell,” you chuckle, “why not all three? I’m sadistic enough, I’m sure.”

You close your eyes. “Give me your worse,” you challenge as you slip into unconsciousness.

--

Two weeks.

He had kept his distance for about two weeks. It was not as if he did not care or was not morbidly curious what the crash had done to you—his glances through the curtains did not tell him much-- but, after some debate, he had figured you needed time to recuperate before you would want his company. Two weeks, he figured, would be enough time for you to get back on your feet or, at least, for you to start wanting company.

His excuse to see you had come in the form of his brother’s newfound prideful boasting. Feigning insult was as good an excuse as any to go see you; after all, he just so happened to be in the neighborhood anyway, and it was normal to pop in to see someone if you were already just a couple blocks down, right? Sneaking away was easy enough—they would not mind his absence—and he, after much prep work, knew exactly how and why he was going to say the things he would to get in your good favor. The plan, he knows, would have gone swimmingly.

His plans seem asinine when he hears you crying.

His brothers do not cry much. He does not, either; it was a habit that they had all thoroughly bullied themselves out of when they were much younger and, if they still did, he knew nothing of it. His master did not encourage this, per se, but talked, then, frequently about the importance of maintaining a more stoic disposition and not allowing emotions to cripple you in battle. Practically, Donatello was satisfied with that explanation, having not properly cried for more than a year now. To hear the sound again, especially coming from you, was novel.

Novel, too, is how you are crying. The sound is less of actual sobbing and more of you being strangled, quiet gasps for air escaping your lips as you shake on the bed, curled in on yourself and clutching at your chest as if whatever pain you are experiencing is centered and can be relieved by something between your collarbones. His eyes, for the first time, trace the lines on your skin, your sleeves riding up your arms to reveal them to him, tears racing down and along the gash in your face. Everything about the scene, from the soft gasping of panic to your position to the heavy scarring, is completely foreign to him, rivaled only by one or two particularly hard nights when he and his brother were much younger.

He slides in through the window, leaning onto the bed. His fingers flick your lamp back on as he grabs your shivering shoulder tightly, shaking you awake as he mumbles words of encouragement. He is not sure if his help will be appreciated, if snapping you out of it was even what he is supposed to do in this situation, but now is not the time to think of that. You are in pain. He can offer you this kindness. “Wake up,” he pleads, not thinking of how this would look until your eyes snap open to look at him.

Immediately, the reality of the situation sets in, and he scrambles off the bed. ‘Why did I think that would be a good idea?’ Panic. ‘You just walked into her room like a fucking creep. See, now she’s going to—’

“Sorry.”

He blinks, looking up at you from his place on the floor. “Huh?”

You clear your throat, wiping the tears from your eye with your sleeve quickly as you bring your knees to your chest, voice hoarse. “Sorry,” you repeat. “That you… I’m not sure what I’m apologizing for, but I know I should be apologizing.”

He is completely dumbfounded.

Your eyes glance to the open window. “I should probably start closing and locking my window, right?” You rub the back of your neck, voice clearing the longer you talk. “It didn’t occur to me since I’m so high up, but if you guys can get in, The Foot can too, right?”

‘Why is she apologizing?’

You push the hair out of your face. ‘You need something, right? I—uh—need to stop saying ‘right’ so much.” You shake your head to clear it. “’ Sup?”

He hears himself mumble some bullshit out about being in the neighborhood.

You sigh. “Sorry.” You close your eyes. “I’m usually up later; I’ve been so tired lately.”

‘Is she serious right now?’ He is completely lost. ‘She was just crying her eyes out in her sleep and now she’s apologizing? Did I miss something?’ You are smiling now, eyes still bloodshot, as if the whole thing is a figment of his imagination, still shivering where you sit.

He rises to his feet, kneeling in front of you on the bed. “What was it about?”

You blink, seemingly confused. “Huh?”

“Your nightmare,” he clarifies. “You were crying. What was it about?”

You avert eye contact. “Nothing too crazy,” you shrug. “Just about the crash. Nothing too exciting.” If possible, he thinks the bags under your eyes are worse than the last time you saw him.

He takes your hands loosely, turning them palms up to look, for the first time, at the patchwork quilt that is now your skin. “What happened in it?” He runs his thumb along the lines, keeping his voice low; he remembers how that used to help when Mikey used to have fits when they were younger. Leonardo and Raphael were never good at that; they took better to being more violently snapped out of their moods, but, then again, they never had this kind of breakdown; theirs were always more driven by loathing, self or otherwise.

You pause, still not looking him in the face as your muscles relax. He remembers, vividly, how he had done something similar when you two had first met, how much better, health-wise, you looked. ‘How long has it been since then? Three months? A little less?’

You take a deep breath. “Just… family shit,” you mumble, eyelids drooping as you trace his frame loosely. “Fire.”

Your gaze is piercing as you finally look at him properly. He feels something catch in his throat as you bow your head.

“It’s my fault, you know.” Your voice is so soft, barely a whisper. “That they’re dead, I mean.”

The air is a suffocating blanket that smothers you both.

“I never told you, did I?” Your focus does not shift as it might have a bit ago. It is locked solely and intensely on him, taking in every detail of his expression. “How I died? How they died? Why I died?”

Hesitantly, he shakes his head. He thinks it best to just be quiet and let you talk. He does not think he has ever heard anyone speak in quite the same tones, ever looked at him quite the same way you are.

You take another breath. “I wanted to try my hand at baking.” You force your eyes to stay focused on his. “I was—still am—not good about sleep. I always slept bad, and never at the right times. I used to take pills for it, to try to get myself back on track.”

He sees where this is going.

“I thought I could still stay up as late as I was used to.” You glance to the side, stealing yourself a second before focusing back on the boy in front of you. “I sat down in my room, turned on a movie. I set a timer. I fell asleep.” You swallow, hands shaking in his. “I can’t smell well, either. I must not have smelled the burning.” Your lips curl in a bitter smile. “Sure as fuck felt it, though, when I woke up.”

He lets you finish.

You try to blink the tears out of your eyes. “They were asleep,” Your voice rises ever so slightly. “I fell asleep at two something. I woke up when they started yelling.” You purse your lips, face reddening in shame as your nostrils flair. “They were trying to get someone out of bed when the roof caved in above them. My door got blocked.”

You feel yourself smile.

“So,” you strain not to cry, “that, Donatello, is why I’m here and why I’m dead, and why I really do deserve to burn again.” You laugh. “Hell, my body count is rivaling some serial killers, so that’s… that’s certainly something.”

He lets go of your hands, face blank.

You lean forward, placing your hands on your knees. “I don’t blame you,” You wipe a wayward tear out of your eyes, trying to swallow the frog in your throat. “Fuck, man, I’d think less of me, too, if it were me.” You nod towards the window. “I get it if you want to leave, but I thought you might want to know why—”

He stops you mid-sentence, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you to him.

Your arms lay slack at your sides as you try to process what is happening.

He does not say a word.

You break.

You burry your face into him, tears welling in your eyes as you let out a strangled sob. You hold onto him tightly as you struggle to breathe, body shaking as you wrap your own arms around him the best you can. The sound roars in your ears like thunder, the deafening quiet of the apartment punctuated only by your own cries. He gently holds you there, resting his head on top of yours. Each sound you make sounds as though you are physically being choked by your guilt, and his chest feels as though it is being crushed by an invisible hand as he listens to your pain.

Neither of you knows how long you stay like that.

He considers telling you a story from a long time ago, about some training he and his brothers had back then, but thought better of it; he does not want to upset you any more than you already are, and being in good company with someone like him may not be exactly what you need right now. Granted, he does not know what you do need, but he knows listening to him talk about bashing brains would not help your sensibilities any.

Instead, he stays quiet.

You pull away after a while, wiping your face off again as you mumble out an apology.

“Don’t apologize.” He clears his throat. “It’s good to cry; it releases endorphins.”

You smile at that. “Well,” you giggle tearfully, “if it releases endorphins.”

He smiles back, face flushing. You look good, he thinks, even with your face all red. He knows that, scientifically, there is probably a reason, but he cannot think of it right now.

He stands up. “I’ll get—”

You grab his hand tightly.

He looks back at you.

“Can I ask a favor?”

He blinks. “Of course,” he agrees easily. “Anything.”

You glance off. “Promise not to take it weird?”

He feels his heart rate increase. “Y-yeah,” he nods.

He feels you pull him gently back on the bed. “Can you stay here tonight?”

His eyes widen as they flicker between the mattress and you. “What,” he clarifies breathlessly, “like sleep with you?”

You nod.

“In the same bed?”

You hesitate, nod again.

He clears his throat, face heating again. “Like, actually?”

“If it wasn’t actually, I wouldn’t ask, would I?” You grip his hand tightly. “I just really don’t want to be alone tonight.”

‘Oh.’ He mentally kicks himself. ‘She’s scared. Don’t make her uncomfortable.’

“It’s alright if you don’t—”

He is extremely quick to reassure you that he is more than happy—‘Bad choice of wording.’—to stay tonight until you fall asleep, but that he would not stay the whole night as to not worry his brothers.

You nod in agreement. “That’s fine.” You rub the back of your neck. “Not sure I would be good company when I wake up, anyway; I still have class.”

“Oh, right.” He nods in understanding, pushing himself further onto the bed. “Which side…?”

You shrug. “Which way do you face?”

“I usually lie on my stomach.”

“Then it doesn’t matter.” You slide your sweatshirt over your head after a bit of squirming around, tossing it onto the couch.

His face is now scarlet. “Okay then,” he mumbles, laying down on the side away from the window. ‘Is she going to—no, stop that.’

You look over at him, face down on the mattress. You can almost feel the heat coming off him. “Are you alright there, buddy?”

He nods.

You shrug, laying down under the blanket and curling into him, facing the window. “Mind getting the light?”

He reaches over, clicking it off.

You sigh in content, turning to face him, teetering on the edge of the mattress. “I’m not venomous,” you inform him teasingly. “I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again: of the two of us, you should not be the one who’s a nervous wreck.”

“You dunno that.” His voice is muffled by the bed.

“You’re the strong one,” you argue.

“So?” He turns his head to look at you. “I’m the guy laying in the—I’m just gonna stop that sentence.”

“It’s only bad if it isn’t consensual.” You smile reassuringly. “I invited you to lay with me, right? So, unless I make you uneasy, then we’re all good.”

He breaks eye contact. “So,” he clarifies, “you don’t mind if I move closer to you?”

You shake your head.

He hesitantly slides himself further onto the bed. “Can I move closer than this?”

“You’ve already seen me bawl my eyes out. You’re doing me a service. Move as close or as far as you want.”

He moves to press his side against you. “Is this fine?”

You nod. “Look, how about this?” You rest your arm under your head. “If you do something I’m uncomfortable with, the safe word is pina colada.”

‘We already have a safe word?’ He was not sure if he is on cloud nine or just terrified of you.

You are very confused why he looks so warm. “Do you need me to turn the AC on?”

He shakes his head. “I’m good,” he assures you tightly. Slowly, he reached an arm out and over your waist, pulling you closer. You do not seem to resist in any way, wrapping your good leg around one of his to pull him closer.

‘Conscious touching.’ He glances down at you, trying to act cool. ‘Conscious, intentional touching. She smells so nice and she feels—okay, this is not going to work if you keep being a perv.’

“Thanks,” you mumble, humming softly. “I appreciate this more than you know.”

Cloud nine. Definitely on cloud nine.

“Every time.”

You giggle.

He blinks. “What?”

“Every time,” you note, already nodding off. “Like in that book.”

‘Which one?’ “They wrote it down for a reason, right?” The longer he spends like this, the smoother he feels.

“Totally.” You smile, closing your eyes. “Just know that this goes both ways, alright? If you ever need help like this, you know who to call.”

This is new. ‘Help like this? What, like crying?’ His eyebrows furrow as he tries to understand what you mean. ‘Or he means if I ever need company in my—what did I just say?’

You pick up on his confusion. “Emotional help, I mean.” Your fingers trace the indentations in his shell absentmindedly. “I mean, I know sometimes I didn’t want to go to my family about stuff. I dunno if you have that…” you trail off, realizing that you might be unintentionally bashing his brothers. You sincerely do not want to blow this.

“I mean,” he says after a bit, “I think I get what you’re talking about.” He sighs. “You mean stuff that they’d make fun of me for, right?”

You nod.

He feels his heart melt a little. “I’ll have to take you up on that.”

You forgot how safe he makes you feel. “Goodnight, Donnie,” you mumble sleepily.

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

You pass out not long after that. If he has to estimate a general amount of time, he will clock it in at about five minutes. He does not move, however, until about thirty minutes before sunrise, too busy listening to the sound of your breathing and memorizing how exactly your body feels next to his. As he slips out of the window, early morning air waking him back up completely, he wonders if, someday, he could stay to see you wake up next to him. Not out of necessity, but just because you both wanted to stay like that for a while more.

‘I hope so. It’s a nice dream to have, anyhow.’

Table of Contents

Chapter 9

Chapter 11

[stinkysidebitch]

Smoke Sesh With Shinso

Imagine of you and our favorite sleepy boi smoking together~ 

Warnings: Pot use (idc abt it clearly but I know some people do so be warned)

Also I highly recommend listening to Brazil by Declan Mckenna since that’s what Shinso was listening to :)

-------------------

Lately things at U.A. had been crazy. It was senior year and testing was harder than it had been junior year by a huge margin. All the cramming made your head hurt, and you were sure your closest friend Hitoshi Shinso felt the same way.

Getting him to open up to you at first had been hard, but it was worth it. He was really a genuine guy but he came off as a little cold sometimes to other people and you knew all of this stress wasn't helping. There was a little joint just begging to be used, and with a lot of students off training with mentors and doing mentorship programs there weren't many students that chose to stay.

Shinso needed to focus on his studies and so did you. He worked his ass off to get into the hero course and he never really got a break. That's when the idea bloomed in your head and you decided to shoot him a text.

It really didn't take you long to get there, the joint and a lighter tucked into your hoodie pouch as you zoomed to his dorm. He was literally waiting outside, resting against the doorframe with his earbuds in acting all casual. Shinso wore a pair of black track pants that sat a little low and a white t-shirt. Typical lazy day wear for him. You couldn't help but crack up when you saw how he stood with his hands in his pockets and legs crossed, his head jerking up at the sound.

"Wha- What the hell are you doing?"

Hitoshi rolled his eyes at your loud cackling and pulled out his earbuds.

"Waiting for you, fool. Come on." He spoke with a smirk and jerked his head in the direction of his room, entering before you could catch up. When you did he was already in his beanie chair. You slid the door closed and plopped down in the other one that he got for you.

Usually when you came over the two of you gamed and Shinso got sick of sitting on the floor or bed so he got you your own.

He drummed a beat against his knees as you pulled out the joint and a lighter.

“It’s been so long since we’ve just had time to do this.”

“Last time was right before our first semester. Not that long.” Sarcasm dripped from his words as you raised a brow at him.

“Keep this up and I won’t share.”

“Fair point.” You heard him mumble as you stuck the joint between your lips and help up the lighter.

“Shouldn’t you do that by the window?”

“Cu’on, mo oneh herehh” You countered, trying to speak around the paper in your mouth earning one of those low rumbling chuckles from Shinso. 

Sucking in, you lit the end as the familiar tickling started to form in your throat. Once you were sure you got enough you pinched the joint between your index finger and thumb and held it out to your friend, face contorted as you kept in the smoke.

Once the burning started to get to you, you let out a puff of smoke, hacking and wheezing while Shinso acted like it was nothing. He didn’t even cough, but he also didn’t take as big of a hit as you had.

A stream of white smoke flowed from each of his nostrils as he watched you struggle with a smirk. He passed you a water bottle which was quickly accepted.

“I don’t get it man, you don’t even smoke that much but it barely does anything to you!” You spoke with a raspy voice, lifting the stick to your lips again for another pull.

He simply shrugged and watched you repeat the process. This time when you blew out a cloud you didn’t cough as much which meant that it was working. This time Shinso took a huge hit. You watched in awe as he nearly sucked up the joint.

“Damn- that was expensive, don’t smoke it all!” You whined, snatching it back with a pout.

Shinso chuckled, smoke pouring from this mouth with every sound. You had to admit, his laugh was pretty attractive. It was deep and velvety. You had thought he sounded like he was 30 when he was 16, but now that he was 18 it had gotten a little deeper still. Maybe the pot was working too well, or maybe you were just noticing things that you hadn’t before.

The two of you finished the joint off and when it was gone you both had completely relaxed into the beanbags. You had made sure to get a hybrid so that the two of you didn’t fall asleep like you had last time.

“Wanna play Smash?” He suddenly inquired, turning to face you with arms folded behind his head.

“I’ll ruin you.” A smirk crossed your face as you met his tired gaze. You were always up for a little friendly competition. Especially with him.

“I’d like to see it.”

Hitsohi was always good with quips. It was one of the downsides of having a smart friend.

You watched from your spot as he sluggishly turned on his console, putting in the game and grabbing two controllers from his dresser. He plopped back down next to you and passed you one.

Obviously you picked Samus but no matter who you or Shinso chose he absolutely creamed you. There was no winning with this dude.

Finally after who knew how many losses you finally won. 

“Boom, eat it punk!” You tossed the controller down victoriously and he watched it roll across the floor, shooting you a look. You gave him an apologetic smile and shrugged your shoulders, hoping it didn’t break.

“Y/n, you only won because you picked Kirby.”

“Pfttt, whatever! You’re just a sore loser, Shin.”

You replied, sticking your tongue at him. It was then that you noticed his earbuds hanging out of his pocket, small sounds still flowing from them. Wonder took hold.

“What were you listening to?”

He pulled out a phone and held an earbud out to you, putting the other in. Scooting your beanbag next to his awkwardly, you gently took the bud from his hand and tried to ignore the fact that he smelled kinda like peppermint.

The music faded in as you brushed shoulders with your friend, a little dizzied by the close proximity.

“It’s where the world should want to be, for fine something all people ne-eed~”

You noticed a strange buzzing in your fingertips as you gently nodded to the song with a satisfied smile. Glancing up at Shinso you realized he had been staring. Instead of looking away though he gave you a soft smile. The kind that made his brows lift slightly in the front. It made your chest feel warm and tight.

“I’m faithless now though we win every time and I don’t know how~”

You weren’t sure why, but you leaned a bit closer to him, your head fuzzy and mind blank.

“‘Cause I haven’t bought you and I haven’t sold me, but the people are dying to-to get on TV~”

Hitoshi dipped his head down closer to yours, eyes heavily lidded. Even more so than usual. You were leaning against each other now, faces getting closer as you allowed the strange magnetic pull to drag you closer.. 

“I heard he lives down a river somewhe-ere, with six cars and a grizzly be-e-ear-”

The music dissipated into the background as Shinso closed the remaining gap between the two of you, first his forehead resting on yours before he moved his mouth forward. It was soft and slow, nothing like you expected from someone with such an abrasive personality in general.

You could taste his chapstick and breath mints but you didn’t mind. There was something alluring about it, pulling your hesitant bodies a bit closer. The song continued in the background, forgotten now as you lifted a hand to rest on his chest. You deepened the kiss without realizing it. As soon as your lips parted he took advantage, doing some light exploring.

He gently guided you into his beanbag with a hand on your hip, not that you noticed being that you found yourself far too busy with your best friend’s mouth. You tilted your head, pressing into him further and lifting a hand to slide up his neck and into that soft, unpredictable hair of his. 

As soon as you gave his hair a light pull he let out a sigh and you realized what you were doing, jolting back and falling out of the beanbag with a bright red face. The earbud painfully ripped from your ear and Shinso’s, but neither of you really paid attention.

Hitoshi looked equally flustered, turning to the side and rubbing his neck.

“I’m sorry!” You didn’t mean to ruin the moment, but you also didn’t mean to make out with your friend. He allowed his arm  to drop  into his lap, seeming to be lost in thought for a moment.

“You regret it?” Shinso suddenly asked, turning back to you and looking as stoic as he normally did.

“Well.. no, I don’t think so but.. did you mean to do that?

“Uh.. yeah.” 

Of course he did. And so did you. You liked him and you didn’t even know it.

“Want to do it again?” It was like your mouth moved on it’s own. Instead of verbally answering, Shinso got out of the beanbag and sat on the floor in front of you, leaning in.

And there you were, kissing him on the floor with a joint butt in your pocket.

[ladywinterwitch]

Run Away (Eight- What You Gotta Do)

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Avenger! Reader

Summary: You and Steve complete each other. Your love is that strong and devoted kind of love that pushes people to things like marriage, making a family. You couldn't imagine that a baby would be something you really wished, until the possibility wasn't your choice anymore.

Warnings:  A bit of angst, pregnancy talk, mentions of injuries, mentions of abandonement (mild), fluff, reader is still an emotional rollercoaster, cursing and swearing, smut, unprotected sex (too late for these two lmao), oral sex (f recieving), brief mentions of body insicurities, Bucky’s a puppy dog.

Words Count: 5289

A/n: Part eight! I can’t believe that I’ve actually come this far lmao. Plus, me posting stuff with less than 44827 years of distance with each other? A miracle. I always said that I would wrap it up at 10 chapters,but while writing this chapter I realized that I will need one or two extra chapters + the epilogue. We’ll see. For now I’m happy to be able to write lol. Series masterlist here, main masterlist here. Enjoy <3

ps: Chris’s look in that gif,,,chile 

                       (gif not mine)

In the following week you saw Steve once a day, just to assure that he was doing fine. He wasn' sleeping in your shared room for the moment, but in a spare bedroom. You knew that you were probably being harsh with him, but you were so mad. It wasn't the first time that he did something stupid to try and save others. Hell, just think about that damned plane crash that put him in the ice in the first place.

You understood the reasons why, and basically everyone tried to talk with you and kinda 'sugar coat it' but the issue wasn't that you didn't understand: the issue was that he couldn't afford to think only about himself. Was it selfish on your behalf to think that way? Maybe. But you couldn't help it. You told yourself that it would've been different if you were just married, or just lovers. His decisions would've still been his. But now it's different. In less than six months he would've become a father. And that comes with responsibility. Wasn't he the first to tell you how important it was for you to put aside your job, for months or maybe even forever, just for the wellbeing of the creature inside you? That kid is yours just as much as he's his.

You and Bucky went out for a shopping trip that afternon. You would've asked Wanda, but she and Vision went to Clint's farm for a few days to see him and his family. Steve still had to be inside the tower, since he wasn't fully healed yet. You knew that he was watching a football game with Sam now, while Tony and Bruce were working on a new project, and Thor went to Asgard for a while to go check that Loki and Odin weren't at each other's throats.

You didn't mind Bucky's company at all. And in any case it wasn't like you felt like going out with Steve, not just yet. The brunette drove you both to the mall where he parked and then you went inside.

-So, what absolutely exciting and girly shops I have to visit today?- he asked while you curled your hand around his bicep. You laughed, looking up at him while you walked.

-Well, this mama is getting bigger every day, so I really can't wear my old clothes. I wouldn't even fit in them, and I can't go on with you guys' hoodies and t-shirts. I mean, I'm still a woman. Who said I can't look good while pregnant?- you responded, dragging him to a maternity clothes shop. As soon as you entered like half of the women in the shop turned to look at Bucky. You glanced at him and saw that he blushed and was looking everywhere except them. You bit you lip to not smile while you started to look around at the clothes. You made sure to engage in conversations with him to try and take the attention away.

-Damn homie, I think you just made those women regret their partners.- you said lowly so only he could hear you, and being a super enhanced supersolier, he did hear you very clearly. He snapped his head towards you with a look of disbelief on his face. His expression was so funny that you couldn't help but laugh. He looked around quickly then got closer to you.

-Stop it! It's already embarassing without you pointing it out.- he whined with a low voice. You stopped laughing but you couldn't help but smile, pressing your lips together.

-It's just so funny to me, because I understand these women. Turns out that pregnancy doesn't only make you sick, but also terribly horny.- you rose an eyebrow and he face palmed himself. You laughed again.

-Too much information, doll.- he groaned. You chuckled, putting in his hands a bunch of clothes. He caught them with both arms and followed you like a puppy to the changing rooms.

-Thank you kind sir, now I'm gonna see if they fit then I promise we're out of here.- you joked, hanging the clothes into the changing room. You closed the tent and he let himself fall delicately on one of the couches. He looked around while he waited but it turned out to be a bad idea when he saw the women from the various isles and even the shop's staff looking at him. He awkwardly smiled and then looked back at the closed changing room, sinking in his seat and covering the side of his face with a hand nonchalantly. He heard a few muffled giggles but no ne bothered him.

-Y/n are you done?- he asked, more embarassed than anything. Suddenly she pulled back the tent and started to gather a few of the garments in her hand. Bucky's gaze got caught on her figure. It was essentially the first time that she wore something fitting and not exaggerately large, so her belly was fully on display, even more so since she was turned to the side. The man felt a mix of emotions all at once and didn't quite catch the first time she called him.

-Buck, did you hear me?- he snapped out of it and stood to his feet, blinking a few times.

-It looks great.- he commented. You had on a nice flowery minidress, the sleeves were short and puffy, the square neckline showed just enough cleavage to remain classy, the breast area was tight but just below the skirt was soft and fell perfectly on your figure, showing the belly. You looked at him with a smile, chuckling slightly.

-Yeah, it fits well doesn't it? I'm getting these,- he gave a three dresses, two shirts, two t-shirts, two pairs of jeans and a pencil skirt to him, while she had other stuff in her own hands. -And I'm leaving these.- she sighed.

-Would you do me a favor? I'm dropping these off, meanwhile could you go to the pay desk? I'll be there in a sec.- he nodded and you thanked him while you walked away to the isles. Bucky walked towards the counter and dropped the garments on the desk, giving a quick smile to the girl behind it. He pulled out from the back pocket of his jeans the wallet and then the credit card, which was obviously Tony's, and put it on the glass above the counter. He waited a few seconds until the clerk, which was a nice girl with black hair and amber like eyes, spoke to him.

-So, how far are you guys?- she asked. Bucky almost choked on air at that phrase.

-Oh we- - he was about to say, but you arrived at his side and saved the situation. You smiled kindly at the girl and gave a pat on Bucky's arm.

-I'll be exactly of five months in a week, and he's more like the uncle than the father.- she tileted her head towards the brunette. The clerk smirked.

-Is he now?- she said rethorically. Then added, -That would be 277$. You're paying with cash or card?- Bucky gave her the Visa and she thanked him, finishing the payment. Y/n glanced at him with a knowing look and a slight smirk. He rolled his eyes and shook his head a little, she furrowed her brows as if to ask 'Why?' and he just mouthed 'No', so she didn't push. For now.

-Thank you for your purchase, congratulations and we hope to see you soon.- the girl said with courtesy, her gaze lingering a bit on the man, whom didn't return the look. You could see the slight disppointment of the girl.

-Thank you, have a nice day.- you saluted her and then headed out with Bucky. An hour had already passed and you still had in mind to buy a few things, but first you needed a break.

-I desperately want a piece of cake. What do you think?- you elbowed him delicately to catch his attention. He turned his head and nodded, still carrying the two bags. You arrived at the mall's cafe and ordered. He picked an iced coffe and you a slice of cheesecake and some tea, knowing that coffe wasn't that good for pregnancy. You took a seat at one of the tables outside, even tho you were still technically inside the mall.

-So, wanna tell me why you didn't accept the clear as the sun advances that the pretty shop assistant did?- you brought the fork to your mouth. He huffed and shrugged.

-Because I am not interested. I don't think I'm in the right mindspace to date right now.- he responded. You exhaled, tilting your head slightly to the side.

-Buck, I know that it didn't end up that smoothly with Nat, but she's gone.- she realized how that sounded like and quickly corrected herself, -I mean, not gone. But...gone, you know?- you cringed at your own words and he snorted.

-Very smooth y/n.- he joked, earning a glare from you.

-Shut up, I'm trying to help here. What I meant that while I understand that things with Nat didn't end up in the best of ways, she went away to give both of you the space you need to get back on your feet.- you paused, drinking a sip of tea, then offring the last bite of cake to him. He shook his head, giving you a lopsided smile.

-Don't worry, it's all yours.- you pointed your finger at him, while chewing the cheesecake. He chuckled.

-Right answer. Anyways, what I'm trying to say here, Buck, is that you have to allow yourself to try again. Because you deserve it. What do you tell me about that person you said you were interested in? I've never seen you with anyone in the last three months.- he looked to the side for a moment casually.

-They're taken so, yeah.- he simply answered, shrugging while taking a sip of coffe. You got sad all of a sudden. You eyebrows knotted in a sad expression and he noticed, giving you a small smile.

-Hey, don't do that. It's okay. I'm not like heartbroken or shit. I'm happy for her.- he assured you, -She.. well she has a family. She deserves it, so I'm happy for her.- he nodded, smiling softly. You smiled at him too, still with a hint of sadness. He took a nother sip of coffe an then raised an eyebrow, looking at you.

-Why are you crying?- he asked confused. You furruwed your brows in confusion and wiped your fingers under your eyes, realizing that a few tears had escaped. At that point without a reason, you started to feel worse and embarassed and a mess, so you sterted to actually sob a little. Bucky got up and moved his chair next to yours, hugging you.

-Hey what's wrong? I promise I'm alright.- he laughed to try and lighten the situation. You hiccupped into his chest.

-I- I know..it's just.. I don't know, these stupid hormones are making me act hysterical.- you had sittle sobs coming out every now and then. He kissed your head while he stroked your back.

-It's okay, you're not hysterical.- he chuckled softly making you smile. You pulled away from him looking in his eyes.

-I'm a mess aren't I?- Bucky wiped a little smudge of mascara under her eye, and then smiled at her lovingly.

-You look just fine, darling.- she hugged him, whispering a 'thank you, I love you' in his ear.

-I love you too- he answered.

After that, they finished their drink and Y/n told Bucky that she wanted to order a few things for the baby so they did just that. They went in a baby-stuff shop and she choose and placed some orders for a crib, a baby seat for both the car and the kitchen and the changing table. You didn't wanted to buy them right away, so you told the shop to bring them at the tower when they wanted.

When you exited the shop, it was already six thirty pm, so you decided to head back at the tower.

In the car, you told Bucky about your idea to get a midwife to help you during your pregnancy and especially when it'll be time to deliver the baby.

-I don't know y/n... I mean I think that you don't need a midwife or some other stranger to take care of you and the baby. You have Steve. You have me, and Sam, Wanda and the rest of the team. Bruce has basically become a doctor of everything, I'm sure that helping to deliver a child isn't that hard.- he shrugged while keeping his eyes on the road.

-I can't and wouldn't expect you all to babaysit me for another four months, Bucky. You have missions, classes, a you know, your own lives.- he glared at you, probably wanting to intervene and contraddict you, but he remained quiet in the end.

-And, you really can't expect Bruce to handle this. He's a fucking physician for God's sake. He's absolutely amazing, but a delivery? No, that would be too much even for him. And I would be kinda embarassed, for crying out loud.- you added with a high pitched voice. You absentmindely started to cradle your belly. He thought about it for a few seconds.

-I don't know y/n, you know how I am with strangers. But in any case it's your and Steve's decision. Please, talk to him. He's been miserable this week without you. He wouldn't shut up about how he was sorry, and stupid and in love with you and that he misses your smile, your belly and I don't know, I stopped listening after a while.- he said exasperatedly. You suppressed a smile.

-Really? - you asked sheepishly. He turned his head to look at you for a second before smiling knowingly.

-You know it's true. Your fucking married, for God's sake.- he said, tired of you two being idiots. He could just imagine how it'll be when you'll become parents. You will be great at it, but also a mess at the same time.

-Hey, Whiny Soldier, how was shopping? - Sam shouted when he saw the two of you coming in the room with your hands full of bags. You didn't see him, but you just knew that he pursed his lips and shook his head.

-

You came back at the tower just in time for dinner. Vision and Wanda had aprons tied on their chests, while the others were just chilling in the common room. Steve was there too, beside Bruce.

-Shopping was productive, thank you very much.- you answered pointing for Bucky to put down the bags.

-Let me help you take these to your room.- he offered, but you gave him a look and he understood immediately, putting them down. You smiled and kissed his cheek.

-Thank you for being my human cart today.- his jaw dropped, pretending to be offended.

-Oooh- Sam howled and the others laughed. Steve smiled slightly, still mortified by your little 'cold shoulder week'  thing.

-You're lucky I can't tickle you to death right now.- he pointed his finger at you before walking to the fridge to pour himself a glass of water.

-Yeah, yeah, like you say big guy.- you teased him. You paused, shifting your gaze to Steve. He was wearing a blue hoodie and gray sweatpants, his dirty blonde hair were starting to get a bit long at the sides and a few strands fell on his forehead, while his jaw was covered with a slight scruff. His puppy dog eyes met yours and you couln't help but melt a little.

-Steve, are you well enough to help me with these?- you asked and even before you could finish he was on his feet. He almost tripped from how fast he tried to reach you.

-Yes I'm perfectly well I mean I'd love to help you. I mean obv- - you raised an eyebrow and he stopped, looking down. The whole team was watching in silence like it was a damn movie.

-I'm rambling, I'm sorry.- he said lowly. You sighed and places three of the four bags in his hands.

-C'mon. And you all, get a life.- you called them out while you two walked to the elevator. A few minutes later, after the short, silent, trip, you arrived to your room. He placed the bags on the bed and you did the same after closing the door behind you.

-Help me take off the price tags.- you invited him. He grabbed the bag, taking out the first garment. It was a white baby onesie, with Captain America's shield logo on it in white, blue, and red. His breath got caught in his throat and he suddenly let out a sob.

You snapped your head up in confusion, your features softening when you saw him. He sat on the bed, head down, onesie still in his hand. You put down the dress you had in your hands and went to sit next to him, since it would've been really uncomfortable for you to bend on your legs now. You hand went istinctively to rub his back.

-Can we talk?- he asks with broken voice. You tilt your head to the side to look at him with the shadow of a smile on your face.

-Only if you stop crying. Or else none of us will be able to talk at all.- he chuckles slightly making you smile lovingly. He wraps his big arms around you, nuzzling his face in your neck, your collarbones exposed due to the large shirt you were wearing. The wave of relief that washed over you in that moment was hard to describe.

-I missed you so much, baby. I couldn't stand the thought of you being mad at me. I'm sorry for being so impulsive.- he sniffed while he talked. You nodded, cupping his face gently. Steve melted into your touch.

-I know you are. And I'm sorry too. I know that I've been harsh with you these past days, it's just...- he waited patiently, -You're not responsable for only yourself anymore. I understand, please trust me, I understand what you wanted to do and also that you feel like it's your duty to do that. And it kinda is, but my point is- you shook your head realizing that you weren't really explaining yourself.

-What I mean is that you cannot put your life behind other's. Not for me, not even for the team. We're grown ass adults okay? Fow how much you can love us and we can love you, we are our own person. But this- you placed his hand on your belly, -This had been a choice. Your, mine. We both are responsable for this life. The same way I gave up my job, and the lessons. Now, I'm not asking you to stop going on missions, but I'd like you to be with me as much as possible. And that when you go, you'll be careful. Please, Steve.- you say softly, almost in the verge of tears. Again. You've cried more in five months than in your whole life probably.

-You're right. It was pretty hypocritical of me to get mad at you for the same reason in the first place.- he shook his head in disappointment. You rolled your eyes, adding -Work. I think we'll have to rearrange ourselves in this department.- you smiled and he laughed, agreeing.

-So, are we gonna get these off the bed and use the space in a better way or what?- your lips curled in a seductive smirk that quite shocked him. He recovered quickly, jumping on his feet and placing the bags on the ground in a split second. You threw you head back laughing at his eagerness, but you honestly couldn't blame him. Your hormones were a mess and your horniness at level 100, but you often were either sick, tired, hungry or he was. And not to mention the missions that separated you. So let's say that since you got pregnant the sex decreased noticeably, which was something that you wanted to fix. You phisically missed and needed him.

He returned to you and crashed his lips to yours, and soon enough you were a mess of tongues and lip bites and sucks that got interrupeted just briefly to get your clothes off. He didn't have anything under his hoodie, and you happily noticed that he was completely healed and that his weeks in the tower were due to the lack of new missions. You sincerely hoped it would last. After his hoodie, his pants and boxers were next. With you the situation was a bit more complex: first the light material shirt you had on had to be unbuttoned, then your tank top, the jeans' belt and the pants themselves. When you were left in just your underwear, a plain set of cotton white bra and panties, Steve stopped to look at your body.

He was in awe of you. He rose his hand and started a caress that began on your cheek, his thumb on your bottom lip, then descended to your now fuller breasts, to the curve of your waist to to your baby bump. At that point he bent down on his knees and kissed it softly.

-Hey little one, if you want to take a nap, now it would be a good time.- he whispered directly to the stretched skin. You let out a sound that was halfway between of a whine and a laugh.

-Steve, Jesus Christ.- you covered your face with your hands. You heard him laugh and stand on his feet again. He removed your hands gently, kissing you again with slow, agonizing passion that even let escape a ridiculous whine from your lips at the loss.

-Where were we?- he reached behind your back and unclasped the bra, sliding it off your shoulders and freeing your breasts.

-Mrs and Mr. Rogers I'm sorry to disturb, miss Maximoff would like me to inform you that dinner's ready.- you stopped hearing F.R.I.D.A.Y.'s voice. You groaned, annoyed at the interruption, but Steve suddenly started to push you on the bed and to lick and suck your boobs.

-Tell miss Maximoff that we have dinner here.- he responded biting softly your nipple, making you whimper.

-It will be done, mr Rogers.-

-Geez Steve, couldn't you be more specific?- you sassed with a deep breath, distracted by your husband's mouth. He snorted moving further down to remove your panties.

-You're already pregnant, couldn't be more obvious than that.- you started to laugh, but it soon became a loud moan when you felt his tongue licking a long stripe on your pussy. You closed your eyes and istinctively wanted to bring your hand in his hair, but you found an obstacle. A medium big, round and naked obstacle. You huffed and Steve stopped, tilting his head to the side, since now you couldn't even see him from between your legs.

-Are you okay?- he asked, worry in his voice. You sat on the bed, helping yourself with your hands. He returned beside you, waiting.

-It's just..ugh I'm so awkward and big and not confident if I have to be honest.- you say for the first time out loud. You wanted to cover yourself by curling your knees to you chest, but again, you swollen stomach didn't allow it. At that point you got even more frustrated.

-Damn it.- Steve places his fingers under your chin and made you look at him. His eyes were serious but not mad.

-Hey, none of that. Do you even realize the miracle your beautiful body is doing? You're creating a whole life in there, baby.- he smiled brightly looking in your eyes, -And by the way, you're still hot as fuck.- that made you laugh. He kept smiling while he made you lay down again on the sheets.

-This beautiful face..these cheeks are even sweeter now.- he peppered them with kisses making you giggle uncontrollably.

-Don't get me started on these ones...- his hands cupped your breasts while his mouth attacked your nipples and the soft skin. You moaned softly, your hand immediately in his short hair, your nails delicately scratching his scalp.

-But you know my most favorite thing?- he kept going, -This.- he was now between your legs, kneeled in front of your stomach. He caressed it and kissed it a few times. Then his gaze  locked in yours again. You almost felt hypnotized, both by his velvety voice and his touch.

-I love it because it's round and soft and most importantly because it's giving me a family. A baby. And you know who's giving me all of this? You are. So don't ever be insecure about this wonderful body, please.- you smiled at him softly. Soon enough the mood changed again when he spoke his next words.

-Now, are you gonna let me thank this stunning body like it deserves or not?- you felt the smirk in his voice, his blue eyes hungry. You mirrored his expression propping yourself up on your elbows.

-Would like to see it.- you answer. He huffs out a laugh and reprises what he started doing a few minutes prior. He took good care of you until you came on his tongue, and at that point you grabbed him to crash your lips together. You kept moving and bringing him with you, until he found himself laying down on his back and you straddling his hips. Steve's hands immediately went to your sides, trying to not move and let you do the work, even though all he wanted was to fuck you until you both could't anymore.

You kept you eyes on his while you stroked him a few times before slowly sinking on him. He squeezed both his eyes shut and your hips, huffing a long breath. That could've almost made you laugh if you weren't just as wrecked. Your hips started moving, back and forth, to the sides in painfully slow circular motions. At one point he grabbed your ass, sitting up and making you gasp.

-Doll I'm kinda struggling here- he breathed out kissing your neck while you kept moving. -I want to be delicate but damn.- he nipped at your sweet spot between your neck and shoulder. Your hips started going faster with the help of his hands guiding you and soon enough you were panting and kissing each other passionately and messily.

-Oh, Steve I'm almost there- you moan hugging his head to your chest. He moaned too, reaching in front of you with his hand to circle your clit.

-I'm right behind you baby.- he reassured you while in reality he was trying hard not to come in that exact moment. He craved you more than usual, not only beacause your body was actually so fucking hot to him but also because he hasn't touched you for almost two whole weeks.

Just a few seconds later you gripped his shoulders, hiding your face in his neck. His breath got caught in his troath at the way you clenched around him when you came. And as a cue, he followed you short after, coming inside you. You stayed like that, hugging and cuddling for some minutes, then he kissed you and moved you gently on his side, hissing slightly when you lost contact.

-Be right back.- he said going to the bathroom and returning with a wet wash cloth. He cleaned you up from both of your releases and then went back to throw the dirty fabric in the laundry basket. You looked at him with a lopsided smile, still hazy and quite tired from the recent activity. He mirrored your expression with messy hair, crawling in the bed to you and pulling you on his side after.

-I needed that.- you say. He sighed, -I definetly did too. How come we always end up having sex after we argue or talk?- he asked casually. You shrugged.

-I don't know, the important thing is that the talk comes first and then, the sex.- he agreed with a nod. You chewed on you lip a bit before speaking again.

-Honey- you called, he hummed.

-While you were away last week I started to think about how I will probably need more help in the future, you know. And the fact that you and the others are often away on missions. And I mean it's totally alright, that's work but... I felt so bad when Sam and Wanda were left behind last time. And just to 'babysit' me.- he looked down at you with a frown.

-They offered to stay behind because they wanted to. We're taking turns on missions all the time.- he responded. You barely noticed that he had started to caress your belly.

-That's not the point, you know it. The last mission was quite big. I know my work well enough to know that Fury would've sent all the team, if I weren't left behind. Also by now we both understood that this baby isn't a normal baby and that is why I'm so sick so often. Bruce can't be here all the time, and for how good and skilled he his, he's not an expert in the baby field.- he was listening to you intently, but he wasn't quite sure with where you wanted to go with this.

-What's the point?- he asked, moving a strand of your hair from your face with his fingers.

-The point is,  that I've read a lot in these months, and I think that we should hire a midwife. It would be someone that stays with me most of the day and helps me. An actual expert.-

-And how would you explain that our child has the blood of two super soldiers?- his hand motioned himself and you. You got up, towards the bathroom.

-Steve, we share the house with a god, a giant green monster, enhanced people, a witch, a kid that has the powers of a spider and an intelligent robot. I think it wouldn't be a great surprise.- you closed the door, peed and then refreshed yourself before going back to take some clean clothes. You saw that he was waiting for you to get out, probably wanting to shower.

-Okay then, I guess we can arrange that, if that will make you feel better.- he finally spoke. You kissed his cheek, already in your underwear.

-Thank you. You're showering?- he nods, the raises an eyebrow.

-Wanna join?- you laugh and shake your head.

-No, baby not now. I get tired quite easily and if the bed's already a bit difficult to work with, the shower must be a nightmare.- he pouted.

-You're right.-

-But- he stops the door before it closes, waiting for you to continue. -I want to fix your hair and your beard if you let me.- a lopsided smile opens on his face.

-Be my guest.-

-

After you sat him down on the edge of the bathtub, you shortened the longer strands on top with tiny scissors. After that you picked up the electric razor and groomed the sides, shortneing them but not removing them completely. You did the same with the beard, leaving a short, barely visible scruff. About twenty minutes later you were done. You put down the razor and took a step back to look at your work.

-Perfect.- you commented, brushing the hair that fell on his chest and shoulders. He stood up and looked at himself in the mirror, smiling.

-Is there anything you can't do?- he asked. You smirked, kissing him before starting to clean up.

-No, I'm a woman.-

*************

Tag list: @polarcrystall​    @a--1--1--3​    @silver-winter-wolf​   @jessyballet​

[maastrash]

"Just pretend to be my date "for nessian please and what did you mean by the fluff before the storm?Are you planning on breaking my heart?

The Truth Is ...

HEHE this got longer than expected! and omg dw I’ll only break it for a lil ;) Shoutout to my bff @verryberriess for helping me with this ily

Masterlist // Submit a prompt // Prompts 1 + 2 - pls write the prompt out it helps me out greatly!

Today was not Cassian’s day. All he had wanted was his favorite Starbucks cold brew so he could have the energy to study for his calculus midterm tomorrow. Math was his absolute worst subject. He could write an A worthy essay in less than an hour, but when it came to numbers he was absolutely clueless. He wanted to be in and out to give himself as much study time as possible. The gods knew he needed it, but that didn’t seem like a possibility anymore. It was just his luck that he would run into the one person he’d been trying to avoid all day - Daisy Anderson. She had been talking his ear off for the past 15 minutes, despite him saying that he had somewhere to be. She was a member of the most popular sorority at university, Alpha Phi, and had been pretty much obsessed with Cassian for the past week. He had met her at his frat party and it was clear she wanted him to ask her to be his date to the spring formal. Alpha Phi and his frat Sigma Chi were always paired for events so he was doing his best to turn her down easy. He really didn’t need awkward encounters with her at every greek life gathering. 

After another 5 minutes passed Cassian seriously didn’t know if she truly wasn’t getting the hint that he wasn’t interested or if she just didn’t care. He gave the minimum responses necessary, avoided eye contact, and kept trying to leave, unsuccessfully of course. Every time he tried,  Daisy would grab his arm or suddenly step in front of him. Apparently, there was another party tonight and she was desperately trying to convince him to go. Even if he had been free, Cassian didn’t really feel like getting to know Daisy. There was someone else who occupied his thoughts. Someone who would never like him back, but that didn’t stop him from hoping. 

Cassian was really starting to lose his patience. Just as he about to firmly tell her he was not interested, he saw her. Nesta Archeron. Her honey brown hair was loose, flowing just past her shoulders. She was wearing a navy cropped hoodie and black jeans that hugged her body perfectly. Damn. She was the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen. Before Cassian even knew what he was doing, he was up, moving, and blocking her path. 

“Hi sweetheart,” he said, pulling her into a hug.

Nesta tensed for a second before relaxing into the embrace. She hesitantly wrapped her small arms around his waist. She seemed confused, he couldn’t blame her. 

“I need you to pretend to be my date,” he whispered into her ear, as subtly as he could manage. 

“What?” she asked, pulling away.

Before she could get too far, he pulled her back in gently. “Please go along with this.” He was practically begging at this point.

Nesta nodded slightly, probably due to the pure desperation in his voice. They separated and Cassian put his arm around Nesta’s waist. “I’m so sorry Daisy, but this is my lovely date, Nesta. We’ve been seeing each other recently and it seems she came to find me after I didn’t show up.”

Daisy looked Nesta up and down, looking almost unimpressed. Cassian did not like that one bit. “Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t realize - ”

“It’s fine, but we should be going,” he said, cutting off her insincere apology. Cassian led Nesta out of the cafe with his hand on the small of her back. Once out the door, he grasped her hand gently. He told himself it was because Daisy could still see them, but deep down he knew that wasn’t the real reason. 

After walking to the end of the street Nesta pulled her hand from his. “We can stop pretending now, she can’t see us anymore.”

He nodded as he let his hand awkwardly fall to his side. “Thank you, Nesta,” he said, trying not to get lost in her piercing blue-grey eyes. “I owe you one.” 

“Whatever,” she snapped breaking eye contact and walking off.

“Wait, hold up,” Cassian ran a few steps to catch up to her. He grabbed her arm gently to keep her from running off again. “Are you mad at me?” 

“Of course I’m mad you idiot,” she pulled away from his grip again. Cassian hated to admit her rejection hurt worse than he thought it would. “I wanted to read my book in Starbucks in peace, and now I can’t.”

Cassian put his hands in his pockets, avoiding her hardened gaze. “I’m sorry Nes I’ll take you to another coffee shop and buy you a drink,” he said the words sheepishly. “It’s the least I can do.”

“Don’t call me Nes,” she grumbled. “And I think I’ll pass.”

“Ok, what’s wrong? Cassian asked, crossing his arms across his chest. “Be honest.” Nesta was never this cold to him. Maybe she was when they first met, but he thought they were past that. She had finally started to trust him enough to show him the real Nesta. The Nesta that smiled every time she saw a dog. The Nesta that saved a seat for him every Wednesday when they had chem lectures together. The Nesta that blushed when he told her how beautiful she was while making her “thinking” face. 

“Nothing,” she said, avoiding eye contact yet again. 

“I know you’re lying Nes and I’m not leaving till you tell me what’s wrong.”

“What do you want me to say Cassian?!” she asked, the frustration clear in her voice. “Fine. You really wanna know why I’m so upset? You used me. You played with my feelings. Are you happy? You finally hurt the ice queen,” 

“Nesta I-”

“No. I’m not done,” she said holding her finger up, instantly shutting him up. “I thought we were friends, maybe even more than friends,” she mumbled the last part. “But I guess I was wrong. I thought you were different. I thought you meant the things you said to me. But I guess you really are just another frat boy. A frat boy who would use me to get out of some stupid failed date with a popular sorority girl.”

Cassian was silent as Nesta caught her breath after her sudden outburst. “Can I talk now?” he asked hesitantly. She nodded, her jaw tight.

“Nesta I ran into Daisy and had been trying to get away from her so I could study for my midterm tomorrow. You came at just the right time. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. I haven’t been playing you,” he paused, reading her reaction. She didn’t seem convinced.

Before he could regret it, Cassian laid it all out on the table. “The truth is, I am utterly captivated by you, Nesta Archeron. I haven’t thought about another girl since I met you. You are the smartest, fiercest, and strongest girl I have ever met and I can’t get you out of my head. I never thought you’d like me back so I settled for just being friends. I thought it was better than nothing. I asked you to pretend to be my date so I could hold your hand and hug you just once, even if it was pretending,” his voice tapered off at the end. He was suddenly self-conscious. What if he just ruined everything? Before he could think about it too long, Nesta interrupted his thoughts. 

“You really are an idiot,” she whispered softly, “because I’ve liked you this whole time too.

This had Cassian gaping. Nesta liked him. She actually liked him. “Can I buy you a coffee?” he asked, offering his hand. “Let me take you on a real date Nes.” 

Nesta took his hand offering a small smile. “Let’s take the coffee to go so I can help you study. We can go on a real date after your midterm.”

Cassian was practically beaming as he squeezed her hand gently. “Sounds like a plan.” 

After Cassian aced his midterm, he and Nesta did just that. And it was the best date either of them had ever been on. 

Tags: @illyriangarbage // @court-of-fuck-me-daddy  // @girlnovels // @aelinninielelain // @julesherondalex // @rosehallshadowsinger // @ifangirlninja // @dreamerforever-5// @queen-of-wings-and-fire // @rhysanoodle  // @jemma-nessian-and-elriel // @books-and-words-addict  // @nightinshadow // @wolffrising // @the-regal-warrior  // @dreamingofalba // @abillionlittlepieces // @alitzeldiaz // @kylizzles // @queenmaas //  @illyrian-bookworm // @aspillofstars // @b00kworm // @tswaney17 // @girl-who-reads-the-books // @theshadowsinger-and-thefawn // @abraxos // @perseusannabeth // @acourtofmarauders // @sweetlyvillainous // @awesomelena555 // @notyournymphetish // @ladywitchling // @aesthetics-11 // @sjmships // @iammissstark // @illyrianwitchling13 // @moondancer-204 // @sjm-things // @foolsinlove // @sayosdreams // @welcometothespeaknowworldtour // @flourishandblottsx // @stardelia // @julemmaes // @thewayshedreamed // @texas-shaped-waffle-maker // @keshavomit //

[nalgenewhore]

Slipping Through My Fingers - Two

masterlist - ao3 - last chapter - next chapter 

warnings: none

an: this chapter’s a lil shorter than usual 

Elide woke up alone, sprawled across her bed.

Groaning softly into the skin of her upper arm, she stretched and rolled over, blinking her eyes at sunny skies behind her side-by-side windows, sixth paned with rounded tops. Her gaze travelled to the canopy-esque set up she had above her bed, a simple wooden-pole square that she hung a multitude of plants from. 

Lorcan was gone, and she was grateful for that. It was always awkward, waiting around for a hook-up to leave so she could get on with her day. 

But Lorcan was… great. Really, he was. The sex had been amazing and he was gorgeous, truly beautiful, but it wasn’t just that. They got along well, when they were just lying in her bed, when she was sitting on her kitchen table and they were eating cereal. It was easy to laugh with him, to talk and banter with him. Elide groaned again and rolled over onto her stomach. You do not have the time for this, she reminded herself. 

She huffed and got out of bed, feeling that old familiar ache between her legs and on the bruises sucked onto her skin as she shuffled into the bathroom and turned on her shower. 

As the water warmed up, Elide shrugged on her fluffy bathrobe and went out to check her phone, opening the message from Nehemia, one of her new teacher colleagues. After Elide had moved from Perranth to Orynth, her sister Aelin had introduced her to her closest friends. They had all hit it off almost instantaneously and it was like they’d known each other all their lives. 

She was a little less freaked out by her new job now that she knew she’d have at least one friend there. 

NY: still down for brunch with the girlies?

EL: you know it 

EL: 11?

NY: see you then! i’m going shopping for classroom stuff later, wanna join?

EL: gods yes - completely forgot about that whoops

Plans for the day made, Elide turned on her music and hopped in the shower, the warm stream washing away the last night and the feeling of disappointment that she couldn’t quite place. 

After her shower, Elide dried and curled her hair, throwing on the red wrap dress that Aelin had made for her - it was from her newest collection and all of her friends often got the throwaways, not that there was ever anything wrong with them. Elide paired it with simple white sneakers and dropped her wallet, phone, keys, and a reusable bag into a white cross-body purse before she left her apartment complex. 

It was beautiful outside, a perfect late-August day so she decided to walk the short-ish distance to the Faliq family bakery, where Nesryn worked as a pastry chef alongside her father. 

+*+*+*+*+*+*

Elide walked into the air conditioned bakery to find Nesryn precariously balancing trays of mouth-watering, decadent pastries. She quickly moved, saving a plate of mille feuilles with pastry cream and strawberries from crashing to the floor. “Hey, Nes.” 

Nesryn grinned, “El, thank the gods.” She blew a flyaway strand of hair that had escaped her half-up, half-down bun do. “Cute dress.” She herself was wearing a pair of flour covered overalls and a black crop top, a pair of slip-on sneakers on her feet. They walked out to the patio to their normal table, where their friends were already sitting. 

“Thanks, Ae gave it to me. I’m liking the overalls look,” Elide said, setting down the tray and taking her seat beside her sister. “Gods, these look fucking amazing, Nes.” Lysandra passed her a glass filled with ice coffee as Nesryn sat down next to her fiancée and blushed under the praise. 

They dug in, catching up on each other’s lives. Nesryn and Lysandra had just returned from a vacation in Eyllwe and Nehemia lamented about missing home, but Elide knew she would never actually go through with forgetting everything and moving back. The wedding band on her finger and the matching one on Fenrys’ told a different tale. Their eloping was the best decision either of them had ever made. 

Elide commented on how happy Aelin looked, despite being awake and coherent before noon and her sister shyly shared she’d been seeing someone, a man named Rowan. Nehemia smiled, it seemed as though Rowan was a good friend of Fenrys’ and Fenrys had actually introduced the two of them. Aelin looked absolutely smitten and they were all so happy for her. She deserved a happy love, after her parents, after Sam… 

When Elide reached for the jam, her wrap top shifted and exposed one of the dark marks on the curve of her breast. Aelin squawked and Elide flushed, sitting back down, a hand over her chest as she watched her sister splutter. “Yes, Aelin?” 

“Wha- what- what is that?” The blonde reached over and used the tip of her index finger to pull back the neckline of Elide’s dress, baring the mark and the countless others on her pale skin. Elide slapped her sister’s hand away, preferring that she didn’t expose her in public. “Elide!” 

Everyone else gasped, intrigued as Elide relented. “Fine! I may have met a man at Emrys’ and hooked up with him… in the alley.” 

Her friends’ eyes widened as Aelin’s jaw dropped and soon enough they were congratulating her, pestering her for extremely intimate details she refused to give until they finally dropped the subject and went back to eating. 

“But was he any damn good?”

Elide hummed and sipped from her cold drink, “He was pretty any damn good.”

An hour later, they helped Nesryn clear the table and carried everything into the kitchen, saying hello to her father and mother. Sayed, her father, refused to let them leave without bags or boxes, depending on the choice, of their personal favourites. He claimed they were just laying around and they played along, but they knew better. 

Elide climbed into Nehemia’s car and they were off to the nearest craft and office supplies store. There was a sale and they thanked the gods. The school paid for… not enough and if they wanted their classes to be adequately decorated, they would have to pay out of pocket for a lot of it. 

Nehemia taught seventh grade at their school, while Elide taught kindergarten, so her class was much more brightly coloured. 

Currently, she was comparing a pack of Mr. Sketch Markers and regular old Crayolas. Nehemia glanced over at the packs, “Mr. Sketch are way better. I swear, they’ve never bled and they smell good.” 

She laughed and dropped the Mr. Sketch into her cart, checking off markers on her list. “Alright… I just need some… sticker paper for desk labels.” 

Nehemia nodded, “Sounds good. I really hope my stuff is hip enough.” Elide laughed again and she insisted, “Do you know how scary seventh grade girls are? I can’t have them dissing my class!” 

“I think you’ll be fine, Mi,” she said dryly, shaking her head a bit. “If I had you as my seventh grade teacher, I would’ve been in love with you, 100%.” 

“Aw, really?” 

“Totally!” 

“That’s so sweet!” Nehemia dropped a packet of thumbtacks into her basket and sighed, “Alright, I think I’m done for now. What about you?” 

“Just the sticker paper and then I’ll be good to go.” 

They quickly located the paper and Elide got a few packs before they made their way to the registry. She looked up as she was bagging her things in the cotton bag she’d brought, eyes landing on a tall man with dark hair thrown up in a messy bun. 

She almost called out ‘Lorcan’, but he turned and she didn’t recognize him. A weird feeling sunk into the pit of her stomach. Maybe she did regret only knowing him for one night, but it’s not like she could do anything about it. 

Slightly deflated, she remained mostly silent as Nehemia dropped her off. “El, are you alright? You seem a little bit…” 

Elide waved her off, “No, yeah, ‘m fine. I think I’m just tired. Hot today.” 

Nehemia didn’t look convinced, but she didn’t press the subject as Elide kissed her cheek and hopped out, waving when she unlocked the door of her building and slipped inside. 

Sleeping with Lorcan wasn’t a mistake, she didn’t regret that, but now that she thought about it… she would’ve liked to have seen him sleeping beside her in the morning. Would’ve liked to know how he took his coffee and how he kissed her good-bye.  

Making a disgusted sound in the back of her throat, Elide unlocked the door to her studio apartment and leaned back against the door in the dark, just staring at the empty space. 

There was something rumpled on the floor and she dropped her bags, walking towards it. It was her dress, somehow not ripped even though they hadn’t exactly been patient when they got to her apartment. 

With another groan, Elide changed aggressively in an old hoodie and sweats, ruining her curls by throwing her hair into a sloppy bun and plopped down on her bed, using the remote to turn on the TV mounted on the opposite wall. 

Feeling peckish, Elide stood up from bed and walked over to the kitchen. She grabbed the box of pastries Sayed had given her, opening it up to find an Earl Grey and honey-flavoured St. Honoré, which was a layer of puff pastry that served as a base for the large cream puffs dipped in caramel, filled with Earl Grey and honey infused pastry cream, and topped with whipped cream. 

Her mood lifted slightly as she cut herself a slice and read the note that Nesryn had left, letting her know that she’d been tweaking with the recipe and asking Elide to let her know what she thought. 

Elide took herself and her pasty back to bed after turning on her kettle and putting a scoop of loose tea into her diffuser-ball and dropping it in a mug. 

She sighed as she navigated to Netflix and clicked on a movie, already calling Aelin. Aelin didn’t get a word in before Elide was saying: “Clueless?” 

Her sister agreed immediately, “Clueless.”

+*+*+*+*+*+*

@mythicaitt​​ @tinywolfofeyllwe​ @schmlip-scribble​ @the-regal-warrior​ @westofmoon​ @empire-of-wildfire​ @rhysands-highlady​ @city-of-fae​ @shyvioletcat​ @alifletcher2012​ @tangledraysofsunshine​ @ttakeitbacknoww​ @tswaney17​ @ourbooksuniverse​ @flora-and-fae​ @thesirenwashere​ @queenofxhearts​ @maastrash​ @mynewdreamwasyou​ @cursebreaker29​​ @superspiritfestival​ @empress-ofbloodshed​ @queen-of-glass​ @sleeping-and-books​ @beccasophia95​ @exersize-me-i-dare-u​ @thewayshedreamed​ @hizqueen4life​

[abraxos-is-toothless]

Surprises (17)

Ah this was meant to up yesterday but then I got a little sidetracked when I came home from work. I am very sorry:((

We’ve got just a little bit of violence in this one because, it was needed, you’ll see. This happens to be a favourite of mine so I hope you enjoy<3

Surprises Masterlist.

Full Masterlist.

No gif because I’m useless and I can’t find the one I wanted. Oops.

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Elain did not want to be at school, she wanted to be at home with Azriel, in bed. Preferably naked. But she was stuck here in her stupid fucking English Lit class where she was absorbing literally no information. He was perfectly fine at home she knew, his mother was there with him, but that didn’t stop her leg from bouncing nervously.

When they were finally let out, she ignored all of the curious glances she received walking out of the room. Her bump was bigger but she was wearing Az’s hoodie so no one could actually see that it had and she tried not to let her hand hold it, something she had taken to doing quite a lot recently. As she walked through the cafeteria and to their usual table, where Cass, Rhys and Lucien were already sat, more people kept looking at her oddly. Some were just curious like the ones from her class, some gave her a quick and disgusted once over and others, they just looked before turning back to their friends and giggling. Elain had to clench her hands into fists so as not to wrap her arms around herself. She would not show them how they affected her; she would not look weak in their eyes. Sitting next to Cass when she finally got to the boys, more people started openly staring at their table, and she watched as Rhys’ brows furrowed and asked with blatant confusion, “And why the fuck is every moron in this school staring at us?”

Lucien laughed from opposite her, “We aren’t that special. It’s probably you and your new scar. You are now even uglier than before.” He winked at Rhys, causing the other boy to let out a gasp and put his hand to his chest.

“Vanserra, how could you? I thought you loved me?!” He put his face in his hands and started to very obnoxiously fake cry. It was at that moment that Feyre and Nesta arrived, the former raising a brow at her boyfriend’s antics as she sat down.

“Why are you being such a drama queen, Rhysand?” Rhys threw himself at Feyre in an instant, burying his face into her neck as he gasped out between more fake sobs;

“B-babe, Lucy d-doesn’t love me any-anymore.”

Elain’s sister only rolled her eyes whilst patting his back, causing Elain to giggle, which stopped as soon as it started when a voice rang out through the cafeteria. A voice she really didn’t want to fucking deal with right now.

“Well would you look at this. Velaris High’s new ‘mommy to be’ finally decided to show her face.” They all turned to see Ianthe standing there with a hand on her hips; a smirking Tamlin at her back. Fucking bastard. Elain was frozen and she felt as though she couldn’t breathe. How the fuck could that stuck up bitch know that she was pregnant? Cassian had his good arm tightly wrapped around Nesta’s waist, stopping her from getting up but he was also wincing at the way she dug her nails in. Lucien and Rhys were glaring at Tamlin and Feyre was silently seething.

Cassian tipped his head to stare at the ceiling as he groaned, “Please, please just fuck off, Ianthe. No one is in the mood for your stupid bullshit today.”

“But I’m just so curious. I was at the hospital just visiting one day, when I overheard a conversation. And then Nesta came storming out of the room. I waited for a little bit after and Tamlin’s dearest Feyre came out too. So, how did our little freak manage to get someone to even look at her, let alone put a baby in her?”

Feyre snarled from where she sat, vibrating with anger, “I am not his anything. Call my sister a freak again Ianthe, and you won’t like the consequences.”

Elain wanted to be anywhere else than here. She wanted to be at home, with Az and forget this day ever happened. Ianthe laughed, something like a hyena, and gods it was the worst sound.

“But she is a freak. A freak with a bastard baby and even better, a cripple for a baby daddy. Yeah, we heard about dear Azzie. Such a shame, he really was a looker before.” She was smirking by the end and Elain felt anger rising from the pit of her stomach. Before she knew it, she was on her feet and there was pain coursing through her hand and wrist. She shook out her fist, cursing, and looked up to see Ianthe with a hand over her nose, blood leaking through her fingers. She was also screaming.

“You fucking bitch! You broke my gods damned nose!”

Cassian had let go of Nesta who was also now on her feet, and proceeded to bang Ianthe’s head against a chair. The screeching stopped but people throughout the cafeteria were now cheering and chanting. Cassian whistled lowly, eyes dark as he watched his girlfriend. “Sweetheart, what have I told you about turning me on in public places?” Nesta simply flipped him off, making him chuckle.

Tamlin was looking between them and an unconscious Ianthe lying on the floor, opening his mouth to say something before the principal walked in. “What on earth is going on in here?” He looked at the group of them, sending someone to get the nurse when he saw Ianthe, and narrowed his eyes at Elain. She was still shaking out her slightly throbbing fist. “My office, right now.” Turning on the spot, he gestured with a hand for her to move forward, following behind her as she did as she was told. There were faint murmurings of Rhys saying, “Who knew Lain had such fire?” as she walked away. It was only then that she allowed her hand to drop, curving her hand around her steadily growing stomach, hand rubbing against the side. Her brows furrowed when it felt like something was tickling her and pressed her hand down a little harder. She gasped when it happened again, eyes widening as a shocked smile spread across her face.

Her little girl was moving.

Elain dragged her hand downwards and her girl followed. It took everything she had to not let herself cry with joy. Her girl made her presence known right when Elain needed her most.

Mama is here baby girl. I’ve got you, my littlest one.

She held her head high and back straight as she walked into the principal’s office, proud of herself. She had defended herself, the man that she loved and that wonderful little miracle they’d created together. She had defended her family.

Just as she always would.

oOoOo

Azriel peered up over his book from where he was sitting on the sofa, watching as his family walked through the front door of the house, all of them laughing loudly. Cass and Rhys both had an arm each looped through one of Elain’s as she giggled at them. Feyre and Nesta came through just behind them, both smiling wide as they watched the trio in front of them. Cassian let go of her to flop down next to him and Rhys twirled Elain before bringing her close, singing a random song off tune as he danced with her. Azriel felt a small twinge of jealousy at the sight, but it was overpowered by the happiness he felt as he watched her. This was the brightest she’d been in almost a week and his heart soared.

His brother nudged him with an elbow, his whole body twitching with how giddy he was. “Oh dearest brother, you would never guess what kind of day we’ve had.”

“No I can’t, but I’m assuming it was a good one?” He didn’t take his eyes off of his girlfriend, who seemed to be glowing with all of the excitement. He wanted nothing more than to get up and take her into his own arms, he ached to do so. He pushed it down and finally tore his eyes away, meeting hazel eyes similar to his own.

“Ianthe knows about the baby.” Azriel’s eyes went wide at that before abruptly spun back to Elain, but she didn’t seem bothered by it, didn’t look like she cared one bit.

“How the hell could she possibly fucking know? You can’t even see Elain’s bump when she’s wearing baggy clothes.”

Nesta spoke up; returning from where she’d disappeared into the kitchen, bottle of water in one hand and Elain’s vitamins in the other, handing them both off to his girlfriend. “She was at the hospital the day Elain collapsed, lurking around like a creepy loser after I stormed out to come and beat your ass.” There was no heat behind the words and she even winked at him. “She called Elain a freak, the baby a bastard and then you a cripple.” His heart dropped into the pit of his stomach at that. He couldn’t give two fucks about what people thought of him, but that was his girl and his baby. The anger inside of him had clearly transformed the look on his face because Rhys nodded at the sight.

“That was your girl’s thoughts exactly because the next thing we knew, Elain was out of her seat and punching Ianthe square in the nose.” Pride over took him then at the image it provided him. His beautiful Ellie all fired up. As he looked at her he could see the pride she too felt about herself, but her lips were also formed into a shy smile. His girlfriend was not violent, never had been. She was kind, loving and so amazingly sweet; it was part of the reason he’d fallen in love with her. The opposite of him but she also matched him perfectly.

“That’s my girl.” He breathed the words with such awe, watching the way Elain flushed at the praise, from her cheeks, down her neck and then it disappeared, hidden by the clothes she was wearing. Azriel didn’t need to see though, he knew exactly what it would look like from their times together. Part of his anatomy stirred at the thought of getting her naked again, making that flush spread all over. Thought of the way she’d gasp and bite her lip when he traced it gently with his fingertips. He shook his head of the thoughts when Elain spoke softly, the first time since they’d all gotten home.

“Could the rest of you give us a minute please?” Both Rhys and Cassian turned to look at him, both of them with matching, shit eating grins on their faces as they wiggled their brows. Feyre and Nesta rolled their eyes at the pair, forcefully dragging their boyfriends’ from the room despite their protests. When they were alone, Elain slowly walked over to stand in front of him where he was sitting, holding her hands out to him. He raised his own and placed them in hers, feeling the way she squeezed gently before her beautiful voice filled the room again. “I know it’s awful of me but before today, sometimes I regretted that night we shared.” His face fell at the confession and he went to pull his hands away, but Elain only gripped his hands tighter.

“Ellie...”

“No, listen. It’s just that, on the bad days since then, I just didn’t feel like me anymore, you know? I felt like I had lost myself, lost the person that I was.” All Azriel could do was nod, not understanding where she was going with this, but he listened anyway. “But then today, today Ianthe happened. She said those things, called us those names and I just sort of lost it. She called our little girl a bastard and so I punched her and fuck, it felt so fucking amazing to do that. I actually felt good.” She deserved to feel good because of that. Ianthe had always been a raging bitch, an attention seeking one at that. It was about time that somebody put her in her place.

A wonderful and breathtaking smile broke out over her face, twisting her hands to bring his own to her stomach, curving them around one spot to the side. “And when I was walking to the principal’s office, I took comfort in holding our baby, just in time to feel that.” At which point, she pushed his hands down a little harder, and he felt something flutter beneath his palm. He was confused for a moment but then it happened again, making shock and astonishment overtake him. Elain took her own hands away, just letting him feel all on his own and cupped his cheek, tilting his head back to look at her.

“Is that what I think it is?” She nodded, laughing quietly and he let every emotion wash over him, tears spilling down his cheeks. They were brushed away by gentle thumbs before letting his head drop so he could press his face to the movements, feeling the little thud, thud, thud, against his cheekbone. Gods it was so fucking surreal, being able to feel the way his little girl moved, making her presence known in the best way she possibly could.

“It was like she was telling me that everything was alright, that she was the one that was there for me, not the other way around. And I knew, I knew then in that moment I could never regret it, could never regret you. I could never regret her. It simply wasn’t possible to do so because I love you both, so terribly much.”

“I love you too, Ellie. You have no idea how fucking much.” He pushed up her clothes, baring her bump to him and he pressed his lips to her warm skin, kissing the little flutters he could feel there. His daughter’s movements sped up as he spoke against skin, pouring his heart out to the girls who meant the world to him.

“And you, my angel, daddy loves you more than words can describe. You are my greatest gift and I promise you, to protect and love you, until the day my heart stops beating. Maybe not even then, sweetheart.”

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Oh my god, I gave you more fluff, who am I?;)) If you want to be added/removed from the tags then just give me a shout!!

Tags: @bryaxisthefaceofnightmares @starlitfangirl @starsauroras @drunken-starz @myfriendscallmeraba  @thesirenwashere @empress-sei @elrielllll  @stars-falling @lacewilde @verifiefangirl  @theshadowsinger-and-thefawn @fancyclodpaintercookie @acourtofterrasenandvelaris @silver-flames @queen-of-glass @bamchickawowow @empress-ofbloodshed @sleeping-and-books @kvi-arts @tswaney17 @awkward-avocado-s @courtofjurdan @junkiejosten10 @mu-si-ca-l @agem10 @harmonyindark245 @slightly-sane-fangirl @tanaquilpriscilla @starrynightsbooks @maastrash @kendarbahr   @elriel4life @illyriangarbage @b00kworm @thewayshedreamed @snowflakesandstarlight

[wxlfstxrx]

My Love (Chapter Three!!!!)

FINALLY. the final chapter is up!! god, i’m tired. firstly, before i forget, pls forgive my ignorance regarding the passport thing. HAHA. i had no idea that a passport wasn't necessary when crossing between states. best believe i was shooketh when i found out. i tried to briefly correct it in this chapter. also, once again the French phrases were translated online, so apologies if there are any errors.

i wanna thank everyone who’s provided support one way or another. i love you guys <3<3

special thanks to @lumosinlove for the wonderful story & characters. you are very lovely :))

“DUMO,” Finn yelled as the Dumais’ door slammed open. “God damn, fuck, I’m sorry, oh god—”

“C’est bon, Harz,” Dumo, who had jumped in shock, got up off the couch and made his way over to Finn and Leo, meeting them halfway at the entryway of the living room. 

“I don’t understand,” Leo removed his glasses to rub at his eyes blearily, not bothering with contact lenses at six thirty in the morning. “Pourquoi est-il parti?”

“Je ne sais pas, mais quelque chose a dû lui arriver....”

Finn groaned and shoved Leo lightly. “French, guys.”

“Sorry, mon chéri,” Leo patted Finn’s unruly mop lightly.

Dumo raised an eyebrow at Leo, who yawned, unaware. “Dumo, you’ve got any coffee? I can’t think straight right now.”

Dumo gestured for the two boys to follow him into the kitchen, where he started heating water in the electric kettle. He busied himself with getting three mugs while Finn and Leo plonked themselves at the dining table. 

While Leo was still half asleep, despite dozing on the car ride to the Dumais’, Finn was filled with nervous energy, subconsciously shaking his knee out of habit until Leo softly slapped his thigh under the table to stop him from rocking the table.

None of them said a word, all lost in their own thoughts until Dumo placed the three steaming mugs of coffee on the table, along with creamer and sugar, before sitting down opposite the pair. He took a sip, while Finn and Leo jostled for the creamer and sugar. When they were sufficiently satisfied with their coffees, Finn spoke up again.

“Dumo… You didn’t speak to Logan at all yesterday?” 

“Non, not since before he left the house after training. D’you know where he went?” Dumo gave Finn a significant look, the latter flushing and quickly taking a big gulp of his coffee to avoid meeting the former’s eyes.

After several moments, Finn realised he hadn’t answered. He shrugged in what he hoped looked like a nonchalant way, “We went for lunch, and then he dropped by. He… He left before dinner, so I assumed he, err… I assumed he came back here right away.”

“Ah bon? Celeste and I brought the kids upstairs to bed around ten, and he still hadn’t come back by then.” Dumo frowned into his mug, as though his coffee had the answers to all his problems.

Finn and Leo shared a look, Leo raising his brows meaningfully. He jerked his head ever so slightly in Dumo’s direction, and Finn shook his head sadly, looking down at his hands. 

“And he’s not answering his phone?”

Dumo laughed humourlessly. “Never does, that boy. It’s bad enough on normal days, but I think he’s completely turned his phone off. I can’t get through at all, and his last seen was—”

“Yesterday night. Yeah.” Finn buried his face in his hands.

“Did… Did you try asking the rest of the team? Maybe they’ve seen him,” Leo suggested, running a hand through his messy blonde hair.

“Later, I guess,” Dumo hummed, looking out of the kitchen window. “‘s still a bit early.”

Finn stayed silent, draining the rest of his coffee in one gulp. His knee was shaking again, and Leo didn’t have the heart to stop him this time.

They went down to the basement, greeting a sleepy, bewildered Celeste at the stairs as she made her way to the kitchen. Dumo stayed to exchange terse whispers with her while the other two boys headed down.

Objectively, Logan’s room looked as it always had: his unmade double bed with pillows strewn all over and the duvet half falling off the bed (Why make your bed every morning when you’re just gonna mess it up again at night, hmm Harz? You know I’m right.), his dirty clothes clumsily thrown into a laundry hamper by the door, the small desk cluttered with random knick knacks such as his laptop, several caps that he hadn’t bothered to stow away properly, and a few bottles of cologne. The floor was in an even worse state, however, where a few stray tee shirts that had fallen out of the laundry hamper and a whole array of clothing items that had tumbled out of his wardrobe on the far end of the room. 

Finn approached the mess by his wardrobe, his stomach dropping. Crouching down, he let his hand run over the soft fabric of his red Lions hoodie. The exact one that he was wearing now. He lifted the hoodie up, biting down onto his bottom lip, and let himself fall backwards on his arse, into a sitting position. 

He felt a warm hand on his shoulder, and he turned his head to look up at Leo, wide brown eyes shining with tears. 

“Mon chou…” Leo’s eyes darted around Finn’s face, and he had just started to tug on his hoodie to pull him into a hug when they heard footsteps right outside the door.

Leo quickly stood up and took a step back, shoving his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants just as Dumo walked in.

“I’ve dropped Sirius and James a text, hopefully they’ll have some idea of where he is,” The older man frowned, his voice trembling, looking as heartbroken as Finn felt.

“Thanks, Dumo,” Finn ran his hand through his wild red curls, tugging on them in a weak attempt to calm his nerves. No such luck. “I’m sorry, this mustn’t be easy for you either, yeah?”

Dumo smiled dejectedly. 

“He’s like a son to me. Mon dieu. I don’t know what to do. I’ve never…” He dropped down onto the edge of Logan’s bed, wringing his hands together. “It’s just… He’s been with me for some time now, oui? I can sort of read him. Sometimes even better than he knows himself.”

He looked at Finn once again, who ignored the thundering of his heart in his chest. 

“I’ve noticed something off ever since he came to live with us. I mean… I do think he enjoys staying here, sincerely. We get along well. We all love him... Me and Celeste and the kids. We spend a lot of time at home just, being together, you know? Playing games and talking and watching the telly. We’ve always been close. But there’s just something, something that he’s not telling us. He gets closed off sometimes when we’re talking to him, and some nights he comes home refusing to talk to any of us at all, heading down to his room immediately. But then the next morning, he’ll kiss us all on the cheek, and he’ll take us out for breakfast, as if nothing happened.

“He acts as though he’s fine all the time, and maybe he doesn’t know it himself, but I know. Je la vois. Dad instincts,” Dumo tapped his temple with his pointer finger, the corner of his mouth turning upward slightly, but without a hint of joy. 

Leo sighed and asked Dumo a question, but Finn barely heard it. His mind was running in overdrive.

He knew that they had parted on awkward terms when he got drafted to the Lions, and other than the text reply that came a few days after Finn had messaged him when he had arrived in Gryffindor, they frankly hadn’t talked much for a couple of months. He felt like he had left his heart behind at Harvard, and the homesickness he had felt, combined with the heartbreak over being away from Logan for the first time in years had him feeling very, very lost and unsure. 

Several times, he had stared into his phone for long periods of time, Logan’s contact flashing on his screen, but he had never dared to make the call. Call me when you get there. I want to hear about everything. What would he even have said? Both of them had been in two very different places, and he knew Logan had been missing him too. Would he have just made things worse if he had called? 

So, he never did.

His first interaction with Logan after that had been when the younger boy had graduated. After several unsent drafts, he had finally decided to text Logan a simple Happy graduation, I’m proud of you.

Logan had called him almost immediately, chattering excitedly, and since he had been seemingly in higher spirits, Finn had let him, sitting in his apartment alone, feeling a sense of calm washing over him for the first time in almost a year. 

They had kept in contact regularly afterwards, after both of them had apologised, awkwardly, for not catching up sooner. Logan had not said a word about what had happened during the party two years ago, or the night before he had left Harvard. He had decided to let it slide, though. If ignoring what had happened would give him back his best friend, he’d take it in a heartbeat.

Soon after, Logan had been drafted into the Lions. Finn had felt a whole roller-coaster of emotions: pride, excitement, and love, but also fear and nervousness. He hadn’t known what to expect. Would things be the same between them? Or would their friendship be different, now that they were out of school and past their partying days? Would they still be living together, like they did in school? Would Logan ask to share the apartment with him? Would he ask Logan?

One day, he had woken up to receive news that Logan had chosen to billet with Dumo and his family, and Finn never did have the chance to ask. He had felt as though his heart had been ripped in half, and seeing him during trainings together had been strained and tense for some time after. 

Following one of their team dinners about a month after, they had talked it out, just the two of them, seated on the trunk of his car in the parking lot of Sid’s. Neither of them had really looked at each other. Basked in the warm glow of the streetlamp above them, Finn had never felt colder than he did then. 

Didn’t— Didn’t you think I would’ve asked you to stay with me?

I did. That’s exactly why I didn’t.

Finn had sucked in a deep breath at that, feeling the pain in his chest intensify until he had found it difficult to breathe.

Okay. Yeah, no, it’s alright.

I’m sorry. I couldn’t. I— I couldn’t. 

It hadn’t been alright.

read the rest on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24215410/chapters/58975165 <3

[ketsuyuki-hibana-typed]

Shinazugawa Sanemi x Reader (Modern Domestic AU) (NSFWish warning)

300 followers hc!!!

Oh My, 300 followers!!! Yaaaaaay!!!! Thank you! Thank you so much, I'm really grateful that I got so many loves and supports from you all! I like the enthusiasms in my askbox, and I really appreciated it from my deepest heart!! I always read your replies and gaaaahhh it always made me happy!! 💮🌸🌺

Warning: Sexual abuse on train, and Trauma

You worked at laboratorium and Sanemi is a math teacher.

Sanemi will wake up first in the morning.

He glanced at your side, you still sleep peacefully. He stroke your hair one or two times and scratched his tummy while yawning. He went to the bathroom.

After some push-ups and sit-ups, he will back with full consciousness and energy

Ready to torture you.

"Wake up." He slapped your arm.

"Wake up." One poke on cheek

"Wake up, dummy." Two poke on cheek.

You groaned and covered yourself with blanket. "Shut up."

"Get rekt you little shit" He pulled out your blanket and started to tickling you

You were a little bit agitated but eventually laugh and beg for your mercy

Both of you fell down from the bed, but he put his palm under your head on time, so you didn't hit the floor

"Sanemi, that's dangerous!"

"Haha, nope." He bites your nose and stood up. "Morning, ugly."

"SANEMI!!!!"

After getting ready on your work suit, you cooked breakfast for both of you and Genya. Nothing really special, just some bread with sunny side on top

But for Sanemi, peeking you with your apron from his newspaper is a blessing in the morning.

"Morning, Nee-san, Aniki."

"Morning, Genya." He helped you pouring coffees. "You have exam today right?"

"Yeah." He grabbed the bread and put them on his mouth, about to dashed out. You hold his shoulder

"Ah, no running while eating. Sit down." Genya hesitated a bit but eventually sit down with Sanemi too. "Hm~ good boy." You patted his head

He blushed and chewed his bread fast before Sanemi noticed.

After Genya went to school, Sanemi and you finally finished the breakfast.

"Why don't you drop him off at school? Both of you work and study in the same place." You said as you locked out the door.

"Nah, he doesn't want to."

"Really? It must be fun if three of us went together."

You hopped into his car.

Sanemi won't let you go to work by train

Because one time, there was incident

You insisted to take the train. He was a little bit hesitating but eventually went with you too

It was really cramped, both of you didn't have choice but to stand. Sanemi nagged while grabbing your hand but his handgrip was slipped off, he seems didn't realize it yet. Now, you were behind him and faced his back with some distance aparting you.

That's okay, you thought. I'll reach him when we arrive to the next station.

Suddenly, a strange hand poked your back, stroking and touching you. That someone dragged his fingers down to your hip. You flinched

'Molester?!" You were panicked but didn't say or do anything. 'But... I'm wearing long skirt and it's not even tight today... So why..."

You tried to distance yourself with that somebody behind you by stepping forward a little, but it's too cramped.

No one seems noticed. You just want to cry

"Sa.." You tried to call Sanemi with your squeaky voice. "Ne..Mi... Help..."

Of course, he didn't hear that.

The molester continued his act and started groping your ass. Something risen and wet even poked your hip.

You felt disgusted but still froze on your stand, too scared to scream. 'Please, please no. Sanemi, please help me.' You squeezed your bag and looked down.

Meanwhile, the train almost arrived at next station. Sanemi felt like something missing from his hand and looked back

"Hey-"

He finally saw you.

Your body trembled, your face was red and tears started to accumulated on your eyes.

Your eyes finally met his. You moved your lips

"Sane... Mi.... Help..."

Something burning inside his body. He bursted in to your place, didn't care if people groaned angrily when he accidentally stepped their shoes

"FUCK YOU!"

He punched that guy right in the face. He even didn't give that guy rest or pulled his pants for awhile. He didn't care and beat him mercilessly

"Sanemi, Stop!! He will die!" You pulled his shirt but he seems didn't want to listen to you

"Hey! What are you doing there!!" The train officer suddenly came from afar.

The automatic door train opened.

"Hehe, next time." This fucking molester didn't regret his action.

Sanemi kicked his face once again and pulled your hand, getting out from there. Both of you ran from the station.

You stopped on a park.

"Sanemi... I'm sorry... I didn't-"

"Show me your back." You turned around.

There is a white stain on your skirt

"Fuck..." He wiped your lower hip with wet handkerchief. He took off his jacket, knelt down and wrapped it around your hip

"Sanemi."

"What? Did something hurt? Did he-"

You suddenly let out fat tears streaming down your face. You never felt disgusted for your entire life. Sanemi must be so upset.

"I'm scared, I'm sorry I didn't do nothing, I'm sorry if I-"

"It's okay, I'm here. You don't have to say sorry." He hugged you, gently caressed your back and kissed your cheek. "I promise there will be no 'next time'." He gritted his teeth. Until today, he always thought that he failed to protect you.

That's why, he will drive you up to place you wanted to go. No matter how busy he is, he'll try to drop and pick you up. Or at least, took taxi.

When you arrived, you will arrange his necktie before went off because he's so damn suck at it.

"Ok, handsome. You're good to go."

"Hey." He holds your arm. "Don't overdo your work. Call me at lunch."

"Will do!" You patted his head.

"Oi, I did my hair for hours."

"Haha, okay, sorry." You waved your hands. "Bye-bye!"

He secretly likes his 'now-kinda-messy' hair, and lets it be until he arrived at school

When he stressed out and angry at his workplace, he will sit at his table, and listen to your recorded voice (He secretly recorded it lol)

"Ok, guess what I draw on your back. Hehe. Nope, that's not it. I write 'I like you'."

"Nemi!" (Fyi, the only peope who could called him like this are you and Genya)

"Sa! Ne! Mi!"

"Sanemi. Hehehe, nothing! Just calling you"

This fucker of you will smile so bright, the teacher room blinded by the lights.

You called him on lunch, and praised the food he made for both of you.

"But why do you put the carrot again."

"In this house, we didn't acknowledge a picky eater."

The students were shocked to death when they found that killer teacher has wife.

"What?! That Shinazugawa-sensei? Really?! wtf this world gonna end soon."

"...but the real question is, did he called her dumb and started to throwing chalk when she can't answer his math question or what."

Okay, did he?

Yes, he did. Except the chalk part, it replaced with "Pinched her cheek"

"THIS IS BASIC MATH. YOU ARE A RESEARCHER!!"

"I DON'T KNOW! IT'S NOT MY PART AND IT'S ALMOST 5 YEARS AGO, WHAT ARE YOU EXPECTING FROM ME?!"

He taught you how to do two math questions while you're about to cry and sniffled, that your tears started to wet your paper.

"All I ask is you're helping me to solve my work... *sobs*"

Both of you basically 'Genya Protecting Squad'

Random People: *complaining about his scary face and hair*

Both of you: DID YOU JUST TALK SHIT TO MY BROTHER?

When it's cold, he likes to make you sit on his lap and.... Err... Put his hand inside your shirt and groping your boobs

"...what are you doing."

"My hands are cold."

"There's heater."

"No, the sensation is different."

Revision, both of you are pervert

You get into his shirt and stick your cheek onto his bare chest while tapping his abs

You: *inhales* WALKING BARA TIDDIES

Him: I am what?

When you're sick because of overworking, he's the one who took care of you. He will 'guard' you 24/7 and will always ready in any case if you need him. Plus the scolding level will increase.

"Say aaah." He pushed a spoonful of soup he made to your lips. You shook your head and pushed back his hand. You sniffled, and coughed. You could feel your sore throat

"I'm sorry, but I can't-"

"Eat." He ordered you. You sniffled once again and make sad puppy face.

Not effective

"Look." He came closer to your face and sticked his forehead onto yours. "I won't leave until you eat this."

Your phone was ringing, it was from your boss. You are about to take the the call, but Sanemi turned off your smartphone.

"Rest." You pouted. "What's with that attitude." He frowned. Like it or not, you finally received his food

"Good girl." He caressed your cooling-pad on your forehead. Your half opened eyes-lid seems so weak, you just put your chin on his hand and mewled like a cat

CUTE SO CUTE, Sanemi holds his chest and hurriedly took a photo.

On day off, you usually went together to movies, parks, mall, book store, aquariums, etc. But mostly, you will invite Genya to go with you two

He didn't mind if you walked beside or in front/behind him on ordinary walking or shopping. He simply hold your hand when you walked beside him

When you walked in front of him, he could fully look at your figure, while you busy to look at behind for some time, in case he stopped

And it's cute because you look like a chick looking for its mother

Or, when you walked behind him, you grabbed his shirt or jacket fabric, afraid if you lose him

And it's.. still so fucking cute

This is funny, but you and Sanemi often showing disgusted face and judging when both of you saw an over limit lovey dovey couple

Random people you met on the way (especially waitress or shopkeepers) sometimes saying words like, "Is your boyfriend a model?"

You shook your head. "Ah, no. He's math teacher."

"And let me correct you." He suddenly popped out. "She's my ex."

You sighed. "Stop telling people I'm your ex." You smiled towards that person. "I'm his wife."

Or if Sanemi was lazy, both of you will stay in the house, being lazy all day. Sometimes you made Ohagi or he invited you to play UNO cards

"If you lose, you had to say goodbye to your favourite hoodie." You smirked while shuffling the cards,

"Fair enough." He calmly took the cards while chewing Ohagi. "If you lose, you had to wear that wireless vibra-"

"ABORT MISSION! ABORT MISSION!"

He tend to kiss you on the lips deeply in a long time. No desire. Just simply a gesture of loving you.

Or kiss you quickly while throwing cheesy lines while doing Kabedon

He will make sudden move when you were casually walked in the house and BAM! His hand slapped on the wall, right beside your ear. He lets his two or three front-button opened

"Hello, single." He looked at your eyes and gave you a quick kiss on your lips, sticking his forehead onto yours

"What is it now?" You sighed.

"I’m no mathematician, but I’m pretty good with numbers. Tell you what, give me yours and watch what I can do with it."

"You are basically math teacher, Sanemi. And you know what?"

"What?"

"Are you my math homework? You seem hard and ready to be done on my desk."

And that's when he loses it and you already know what happens next

He first discovered things called menstruation when he accidentally spotted tampons on the table

"What is this?"

"AAAAAHHHH WAIT WAIT" You snatch that thing from his hand.

"??? What is that?"

"You- you don't know? It's for girls! On- on period!"

"What is period?"

"....are you even science."

You explained him about 'red day' and he nodded.

"Did it hurt your stomach? Because it's bleeding."

"Yeah, sometimes."

"You need warm tea?"

"Um, prob-"

"Is there anything that could reduce the pain?"

"I tend to-"

"Wait, lemme Google this."

After that, he treated you like a princess everytime you had period.

You usually went for coffees in the evening with him after works. Both of you like to sit together while telling each other stories even opinions

And you will never make up your mind for the coffees. So he usually took the role.

"Uh, I- I'll take-"

"I'll take Quad, Venti, 2 pumps, breve, extra-hot, no-whip, Toasted White Mocha. And she will take Solo, 1-pump, whole milk, light ice, Caramel Brulée Latte."

You just stand there like a dumb person

After coffees, both of you will shop together for dinner. He usually the one who decided the food.

"Kare, but I'm tired."

"I'll be the one who cook then."

"Hm, maybe... Shirt and apron only will be good on-"

"SHUT UP."

Three of you will eat together on the dinner table. Genya loves your food, so he usually gave his bowl to you and asked for seconds.

Sometimes bathe together. You will scrub his back. He likes it when both of you dipped in bathtub and with you laid your back on his chest.

"I don't like your panda eyes." You looked up and poked his cheek.

"Don't mind that."

"I DO mind."

So after bathe, you will put Aloe Vera sheet-mask on his under eyes. He didn't really like it at first, but after you put off his mask, his face became relaxing and he liked it.

Both of you tend to go to your shared bedroom first than Genya, because he still wanted to watch TV.

"Sanemi, you haven't sleep yet?"

When you about to pulled your blanket, you saw him with his anti-radiation eyeglasses, still facing his laptop.

"No. Go first." Your eyes are settled at his cup

"Stop the caffeine, I'll make you tea."

You get up and go to the kitchen. You found Genya asleep on the couch.

You turned off the TV and woke Genya from his sleep, telling him to move to his room.

You came back to your room with two cups of Darjeeling tea and some cookies, putting the tray beside him

You opened a novel book and put your head on his shoulder

You didn't say anything but humming a slow song beside him.

And sometimes, if he knew the song, he will hum together with you.

You stayed with him until he finished, no matter how much hours he spended on his works.

"It's strange."

Both of you now under the blanket, intertwined your fingers and facing each other

"What is it?"

"I never dream of living with wife before, I always thought I'll just live with Genya, and being single for the rest of my life."

You chuckled. "Me too, never thought someone really picked me up because I'm a potato."

"Dummy." He kissed your forehead and nuzzled his nose on your neck.

"Sweet dreams."

[modabellaboutique]

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[theladyofdeath]

Begin Again {Nessian}

Another oneshot written alongside my beautiful BFF, @throne-of-ashes-and-beauty . Enjoy. :)

Nesta stood outside his door, the sound of the rain intruding her thoughts.

She’d been there for ten minutes, getting soaked, unable to find the courage within herself to knock.

She’d been a bitch.

She was always a bitch.

It wasn’t even that she wanted to be, but she couldn’t help it. It was a sickness. A disease. Part of herself that she loathed.

She wouldn’t blame him if he hated her.

She wouldn’t blame him if he never spoke to her again.

He’d given her chance after chance, and she let him down every time.

Letting loose the breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding, she lifted her fist to the door to knock.

The door swung open before she could make contact.

As he sized her up, looking at her drenched hair, the way her clothes clung to her body, she looked at him.

The suit he wore was cut to fit his strong frame perfectly. The black bow tie laid untied against his chest. His hair had even been combed and pulled back into a loose bun at the back of his head, pieces hanging loose around his face.

She said, “You’re busy, I’ll come back later” at the same time he said, “You’re soaked, come inside.”

They stared at each other for another moment before she walked inside, placing herself just within the threshold.

She wanted to tell him she was sorry. Wanted to tell him that he was right, about everything. But nothing came.

And he didn’t push her. He simply shut the door behind her with a quiet click.

Nesta stood there, rain dripping onto the small rug in his entryway. They stared at each other, the eventual chill settling into Nesta’s bones, and she began to shiver.

Cassian walked down the hall into the bedroom. He returned a moment later, clothes wadded up in his hands and held them out for her. She took them and stepped into the small bathroom across from the master bedroom.

She sloughed off her sodden clothes and laid them over the side of the tub. She found he had given a pair of fleece lined leggings and one of his football t-shirts from the University of Velaris. And a lacy black pair of panties.

She didn’t know why the underwear caught her so off guard. She’d left him almost 6 months ago, left him on one knee in the middle of the revelers at the Starfall Gazing Festival, a ring in his hand. It was only normal that he’d have found someone new, that he’d have moved on, in the most physical of ways.

She pulled the dry clothes on and threw her dripping hair up into a messy bun on the top of her head. She dug through the cabinets until she found a pack of makeup removing wipes and rubbed it over the lingering mascara smudged under her eyes.

When she made her way out of the bathroom, Cassian was lounging on the couch in a hoodie and sweatpants, flipping through the t.v. stations on mute.

“These panties fit nice,” she mumbled, a hint of jealousy controlling her voice.

The corner of Cassian’s lips quirked upward. “They should. They’re yours.”

Nesta froze, suddenly feeling stupid. She said nothing more as she sat opposite him in an armchair.

“You look good,” she said, quietly, at last.

“You only say that because I was wearing a tux,” he joked, but his heart wasn’t in it. This was as painful for him as it was for her, seeing each other.

“No, I-.” She took a deep breath and looked at where her hands were pressed together between her thighs. “I just meant that it’s good to see you.”

“Really, Nes?” he asked, and she didn’t glance up towards him, knowing he’d be looking at her. “It’s good to see me?”

Silence filled the room and she tucked her legs underneath her. She cleared her throat and he looked at her. The words she’d been preparing to say shriveled in her mouth. Instead she said, “The house is coming along nicely.”

“What are you aiming for here?” He asked, not unkindly, but it was clear he was on his guard.

“What do you mean?” She looked up at him then, she saw the barely concealed pain in his hazel eyes.

“You’re asking questions about me, about our hou-.” He stopped and closed his eyes, breathing in deeply. “About the house. You’re being kind.”

She blinked at him. “What?”

“Kind,” he repeated. “The one thing you can never be. That’s what you told me, remember? That you couldn’t be with me because you weren’t kind, because you weren’t fit for my life.” He was standing at this point, pacing around the dark living room. “So help me understand, Nesta, what’s going on. Because I can’t figure out what’s happening when I open my door to leave, to go on the first date I’ve had since you left, since you destroyed me, only to find you standing on the front step, looking so heart-stoppingly beautiful that it causes me physical pain.”

Nesta couldn’t breathe.

He had been about to go out on a date. A nice date, too, judging by his attire.

And she had ruined it for him.

“I’m sorry,” she said.

And he laughed. He actually laughed. “You’re sorry?”

All she could do was look up at him, at the rage that simmered in his eyes. She stood and turned towards the door. “I should go.”

“Do you even know what you’re apologizing for?”

The way his voice broke nearly crumbled her resolve.

Her voice came out as a whisper. “Everything,” she breathed. “I’m apologizing for everything.”

He stepped in front of her. “What does that mean?” He tilted her chin up, forcing her to look at him. “What are you doing here, Nes?”

She wanted so badly to tell him, but there were so many emotions running through her mind that she could hardly sort them.

She was sorry.

She was sorry she had left him, rejected him, had made him believe that she hadn’t loved him.

Because she had loved him.

She had loved him so much that she didn’t want him to waste his life on her.

“I’m not good, Cassian,” she whispered. He groaned and pulled on his hair, freeing it from the tie at the back of his head. “You are good and kind and you love so hard and I’m not good for you. You deserve someone who is as bright and wonderful as you are. I’m just…” She struggled with the words. “You’re the light that makes the room glow. I’m the shadows that the darkness cowers into.”

He stared at her for a long time, silent, unmoving.

She felt like she was going to puke. “Please,” she whispered. “Say something. Anything.”

“I wanted to spend my life with you,” he said, voice low, weak. “I was ready to spend my life with you and you rejected me because that’s what you think about yourself?”

She hadn’t realized there were tears streaming down her pale cheeks until the sweet, salty taste could be felt against her lips.

She hung her head and the tears dripped onto her bare feet. She wrung her hands in the front of his t-shirt, the shirt she hadn’t worn in 6 months. “I was going to take that light from you. You wouldn’t have been happy with me.” The silence settled between them. “Not forever.”

“And who the fuck do you think you are to decide that for me?” He breathed.

She looked up, met his gaze, the fire igniting in her eyes, her spirit. “Don’t speak to me like that.”

He barked a humorless laugh. “You can trash yourself but when I call you out, calling bullshit, suddenly I’m the bad guy? Nesta, I know who you are! I know every little damn thing about you, and there is not one thing I do not love.”

Not did. But do.

She didn’t ignore the way his voice broke on that last word.

Love.

“Why?” The one word was cracked, shattered like her spirit. “Name one thing about me that’s worth it.”

Cassian crossed the space between them, cradling Nesta’s tear-stained face in his hands. “You.”

Nesta blinked, waiting for him to go on.

“You are worth it, I need no reason to love you, but if you want them, I’ll tell you.”

Nesta couldn’t believe that he was touching her, that his lips were so close to her own. She gripped the front of his sweatshirt, terrified to let him go, fearing that he would step back if she did.

“I love you because your heart, despite what you believe, is so full of love for your sisters. You would do anything for them.”

He pressed a kiss to her right cheek.

“I love you because you aren’t afraid to call me out on my bullshit.”

He pressed a kiss to her eyelid which had just fluttered closed, as a tear fell.

“I love you because you love so fiercely, nothing can stand between you and those you care about.” He stepped back. “Except for yourself.”

She shook her head, but no words came.

“You are worth so much more than you believe,” he said, his breath warm against her skin. “You deserve happiness. If it’s with me, Nesta, then let me love you. Let me love you.”

The tears began anew and again, she shook her head, her tears falling onto his sweatshirt, darkening the places they landed. “I’m not worth it, Cass. I’m not worth your love.”

His lips pressed softly against hers.

He had always known how to shut her up.

“Don’t,” he began, kissing her once more, “ever say that.”

It was not an order, but a plea.

His weak voice shook with every word.

She wanted him.

Had never stopped wanting him.

“I love you,” she breathed. “But I am so scared to do so, so scared to give myself, heart and soul, over to someone. To give someone that power over me, that power to destroy me.” He began to step back, hurt wiping any emotion from his face. She gripped the front of his sweatshirt tighter, holding him in place. “But there is no one I trust more to protect my heart than you, Cassian.”

He froze, then his eyes drifted from her’s to her lips, then to where her hands were gripped in the fabric of his sweatshirt.

Fear.

She had always been fearful, had always been unsure of how to handle that fear.

But Cassian was the opposite of fear.

He was her light, her comfort, her salvation.

He pried her hands from his sweatshirt. The noise that left her was one of despair, but he pressed a kiss to her forehead and whispered, “I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be right back.”

She looked up at him, saw the sincerity in his hazel eyes, and nodded, sitting in the chair behind her.

He backed out of sight and down the hallway. Nesta sat there, nothing but the television and a small lamp in the corner illuminating the dark room, and closed her eyes. She listened as the clock ticked, counting every second he was gone. She listened as Cassian dug through something in his bedroom, the bedroom they used to share. She listened as the rain beat against the glass of the windows, wondering how exactly she had walked the miles between her run-down apartment and Cassian’s house. She listened as his footsteps padded back down the hall. She listened as she heard him stop in front of her. And when she felt something metallic and cold press against the tip of her ring finger, her eyes shot open.

He was down on one knee, just as he had been months before.

“Cassian,” she breathed.

“Don’t speak,” he said, holding her hand, the ring he’d proposed with months ago, poised to slip onto her finger. “Don’t say anything, just…” He brought her other hand up, pressing a kiss to her palm, before resting it against his cheek. “Just be with me, Nesta. I love you more than I can put into words, but I’m willing to prove that love for you every day. Yes, I can be a stubborn prick, but you love that about me.” She quietly laughed, though it also sounded like a broken sob. “I love you. Be my wife. Be by my side. Forever. Please.”

The words halted on her lips.

The feeling inside of her was one she had rarely felt throughout her life.

Until she’d met him, loved him.

It was a beautiful feeling, but one she had run from once before.

And here he was, asking again. Loving her through her faults. Down on one knee, still wanting to love her, forever, unconditionally.

Her voice was nothing more than a whisper as she said, “Okay.”

“‘Okay’?” He laughed. “I don’t even get a ‘yes’? I get an ‘okay’?

She grabbed his sweatshirt and crashed his lips to her own, kissing him like she’d been dreaming of for months. Breathlessly, she asked, “How’s that for a yes?”

“That will do, sweetheart,” he said, and slid the ring onto her finger. “That will do.”

[meetthemidwest]

About Indiana, Kentucky, and Ohio playing video game, I have to know what they said during the subspace emissary gameplay. May we hear about what happened? Please and thank you, you fabulous person

This took so long and I’m so sorry but finals week happened and I had to study for apush! There are spoilers, but the game came out in 2008 so I’m not too concerned. I still put it under the cut just in case someone didn’t want it spoiled. I really hope tumblr doesn’t cut this, there’s a lot here.

Subspace Emissary is a two player story mode in Smash Bros Brawl, and since there are three of them, Indiana, Kentucky, and Ohio take turns. Indiana and Ohio play the first level.

Indiana: You know what? I kind of relate to Kirby.Kentucky: Please explain what the hell that means.Indiana: He inhales food and killed god.Ohio: Oh please, you haven’t killed god yet.Kentucky: Yet? YET??

After the whole fight with Mario and Kirby, there’s a part where the Halberd flies over the stadium and drops a bunch of shadow bugs.

Ohio: Those things look like the mold that was growing in my basement last year.Indiana: Glowing and purple?Kentucky: Delicious.Ohio: What the actual fuck Kentucky?Kentucky: No, you don’t understand, nature is delicious.Indiana: Oh really? I’ll be right back.She comes back in five minutes later with an armful of plants from Ohio’s backyard.Kentucky: *picks up a leaf* There’s a spider on this one.Indiana: Eat it.Ohio: DON’T EAT IT!Kentucky: Aw, it fell.Ohio: *jumps from his chair to the table* Fucking kill it already!Indiana promptly throws it at him and he screams like a girl. The video cuts there. It comes back to Indiana and Ohio arguing over who to save in the first boss battle.

Indiana: Zelda’s twenty times better than Peach you dumbass!Ohio: Peach is the original Nintendo princess! You respect the originals or I’ll put you in the goddamn dirt!Kentucky: You just got a game over.Indiana: No one asked for your input Bill Monroe!Kentucky: How the hell do you know who that is?The video devolves into screaming. It cuts to Kentucky and Ohio playing while Indiana eats a pot of Kraft macaroni and cheese. They’ve saved Peach and moved on.

Kentucky: Hey, it’s Pit from Kid Icarus on the NES!Indiana: Fucking nerd!Ohio: Nice redesign.Kentucky: Yeah, well, if we aren’t going to get Geno, it’s nice that an obscure Nintendo game is getting some love.Ohio: *looks directly into the camera* Localize Mother 3 you cowards.Kentucky: PLAYER TWO CAN TELEPORT HELL YES YOU’RE CARRYING THE TEAM OHIO!

Indiana: DOnkEy KoNG!Kentucky: Did Diddy Kong always have guns or is that a new thing?Ohio, drinking tea in the background: Neither of you have ever played Donkey Kong Country and it shows.Kentucky: Oh god, Danky Kang just sacrificed himself for his son!Indiana: Wish that was the relationship I had with Quebec but he just calls me his bastard daughter and I call him my asshole father.Kentucky: Oof.

Ohio: Oh shit, Indi, get your xylophone, we’ve got a pokemon!Indiana: *starts playing the original pokemon battle theme on the xylophone while Kentucky fights Rayquaza but dies because he’s laughing too hard.*

Indiana: That feeling when you’re kidnapped by a small primate in a baseball cap.Ohio: No, that can happen. Have you ever been to the zoo?Kentucky: Are you okay?Ohio: *voice crack* no.

*Lucas and Porky appear*Ohio, ripping the controller out of Kentucky’s hands: YOU LEAVE MY BABY ALONE YOU CAPITALIST FUCK!Indiana: Oh shit, he’s crying!Kentucky: And I’m the nerd?Indiana: Shut up nerd, Mother 3 was hard on him.

*Ness appears*Indiana: SNES is just a word scramble of Ness.Kentucky: Mother 3 confirmed?Ohio: NOOO NESS JUST GOT FUCKING KILLED BY WARIO!Indiana: Weak.

*Pokemon Trainer appears*Kentucky: ASH KETCHUM???Indiana: You’re so stupid. It’s Red, obviously.Ohio: Red and Ash Ketchum’s secret love child.Indiana: *Gets up* I quit.

*Battlefield Fortress*Ohio: You know what this looks like?Kentucky: Oh god please no.Indiana: *pulls out Kentucky’s xylophone* Ready when you are.Kentucky: Indiana, if you value our friendship, please don’t do this.Indiana: We’re not friends though.*Marth is introduced. Indiana starts playing Together We Ride on the xylophone. Ohio joins in on a green plastic kazoo. Kentucky slams his face into the table and gets a nosebleed.*

Indiana: Hey it’s Spanish Batman from Kirby Right Back At Ya!Ohio: Never say those words in front of me again.

*Ike appears*Kentucky: Please don’t-Indiana and Ohio: *Playing the recruitment theme With Us on their instruments.*Kentucky: *looks into the camera like Jim on The Office*

Kentucky: Luigi is my spirit animal because he’s a coward with a heart of gold, like me.Indiana: You’re a coward, but I know you had your heart surgically removed in 1847 so don’t even try that bullshit with me.Ohio: He had a heart before 1847? Damn. See, I relate more to King Dedede because he’s a king and his relationship with Kirby reminds me of Michigan and I.Indiana: Yeah, that sounds about right.Ohio: I don’t like the implications there.

*Link appears*Indiana, shoving Ohio and Kentucky out of the way and wearing a Legend of Zelda hoodie: Move bitches, it’s my time to shine.Ohio: Oh thank god Yoshi’s here because I’m not playing as Link. Kentucky, doing a scarily accurate impression of Yoshi: YOSHI!Indiana: What the FUCK Kentucky???Kentucky, coughing: If I do that for too long I lose my voice.Indiana: Then don’t do it!

*There are some enemies that I distinctly remember in this part that scared the hell out of me, and they’re called Puppits.*Ohio: Oh god, oh fuck, what are these things?Indiana: Kill it!Ohio: *dies* SHIT!Kentucky, eating gummy bears out of a paper bag: Why are y’all so bad at this? It’s just an enemy.Indiana: *throws her controller at Kentucky and hits him in the forehead.*

*The cutscene with the box*Indiana: Snake? SNAKE?? SNAAAAAAAAAAKE!!!!Kentucky: SPOILERS!

*Zero-Suit Samus*Indiana: I wish that were me.Ohio: Why? She’s not that much prettier than you.Indiana: Space guns.Kentucky: Of course.Indiana: Also I think a lot of girls would be into me if I had that ass.Ohio: There it is.

*Pikachu*Ohio: Did you guys know that this is how we powered the first rocket to the moon?Kentucky: Electricity rat.Indiana: Thomas Edison used Pikachu to power America, your history books have been lying to you.Ohio: We’re going to get killed by the government, aren’t we?Kentucky: Yeah, but not for this.

*The battle against Subspace Peach*Indiana: Mario’s going to be so pissed.Kentucky: Yeah, but Yoshi’s Mario’s lifelong friend, so surely everything will be a-okay!*Mario battle ensues*Ohio: Love blinds all.Indiana: Stop trying to sound wise, I literally watched you burn your tongue on your coffee and throw it into a wall.Ohio: You know what Indiana? Fuck you.

Indiana: Kirby Kirby Kirby that’s the name you should know!Kentucky: Kirby Kirby Kirby he’s the star of the show!*Both look at Ohio*Ohio, obviously disappointed in life: He’s more than you think, he’s got maximum pink.Indiana and Kentucky: Kirby Kirby Kirby’s the one!

Indiana: Ew it’s Ganondorf.Kentucky: Wait, I thought he was a pig?Ohio: Well Kentucky, people can be pigs without looking like them, like New York.Kentucky: No, wasn’t he literally a pig?Indiana: That was Ganon.Kentucky: They’re… they’re the same thing?

*Wario battle*Ohio: IS LUCAS DOING THE ARTHUR MEME?Indiana: HOLY SHIT HE IS!Kentucky: MOTHER 3 CONFIRMED!*they all start screaming incoherently. The video cuts to them actually fighting Wario. Ohio is Lucas, Kentucky is the Pokemon Trainer.*Ohio: My boy Lucas has seen some shit.Kentucky: Your boy Kentucky has also seen some shit, how about a little love over here?Ohio: No.Kentucky: Thanks.

*Bowser’s army attacks the castle Dedede is in.*Indiana: Oh my goodness he’s Dedede-dead!Ohio: I’m going to sew your lips together while you sleep.

*Bowser gets away with Peach’s trophy*Kentucky: This is so sad, Indiana play Ave Maria.Indiana: *plays Ave Maria on the kazoo*

Kentucky: I love how Ike, the youngest and most impulsive, jumps right off a cliff while both Marth and Meta Knight reach out to stop him.Ohio: Me with my bastard siblings.Indiana: Let me guess, Wisconsin’s Ike, Michigan’s Meta Knight, and you’re Marth?Ohio: No, because I don’t join them in their bullshit.Indiana: Oh? Then what do you call the time the three of you tied Illinois to a tree and left him there for a week?Ohio: It’s called knocking the wealthy down a few pegs.Kentucky: Guys, this was an appreciation of Fire Emblem characters and nothing more.

*Diddy Kong trophy*Indiana: PeRSonALLy I PrEFer ThE AiR!Kentucky: OH! GRAB THE FAN! *they proceed to get the giant Subspace Diddy Kong to 500% and launch him off the screen.*Ohio: The monkey’s kidnapping a bird.Indiana: I saw that happen in Florida once.

*Ridley battle*Kentucky: HE’S TOO BIG FOR SMASH BROS!*Kentucky then plays the Ridley theme on the xylophone while Ohio attempts to crawl out a window and Indiana screams*

*Olimar and Captain Falcon*Kentucky in the background playing Pikmin music on the xylophone: Isn’t this nice? Pikmin was one of the best games I ever played.*West Virginia kicks down the door and plays the F-Zero theme on an electric guitar*Kentucky: Get the hell out!West Virginia: While y’all were sitting in here playing video games I got arrested for tax fraud and broke out on my own.Indiana: Amateur. What’s your point kid?West Virginia: Get on my level. Get hobbies for god’s sake. You’re going to be killed one day, you gotta live in the moment.Ohio: I die when I decide, you little rat faced bastard. There’s a cupcake in the fridge, take it and get out.West Virginia: Alright, I’m going to elope with Mothman, see y’all later.

Indiana: DOnkEy KoNG!!!!Kentucky: Aw heck, I died.

*Ice Climbers*Ohio: That jumping noise definitely isn’t going to get annoying in the next few minutes.Kentucky: *slowly mutes the tv*Indiana: You guys are really dumb sometimes. You know that, right?

*the two groups meet up*Indiana: The gang’s all here!Ohio: If you play as Link again I’m going to suffocate you on camera.Indiana: With what?Kentucky: His Ohio State mascot body pillow.Indiana: What the fuck.Ohio: You’re next, Kentucky.

*Snake*Kentucky: Sometimes I just want to hide in a box while my problems run around without me.Indiana: Shame problems are like Lucario and can see right through your hiding place.Ohio: Guys, I dropped a hot pocket into the hole in the wall and I can’t get it out.

*Sheik and Peach*Indiana: I’m getting some strong Peach loves her strong girlfriend vibes from this.Kentucky: I’d love my strong girlfriend too if I had one.Ohio: No living organism would put up with you for more than a week.Indiana: YO PEACH IS SUCH A BADASS!Ohio: SEE???Indiana: Zelda’s still better though.Kentucky: Fox McCloud’s going down.Indiana: Do a barrel roll!Ohio: Shit, I want tea.Kentucky: Then make some!Ohio: Okay! Jeez, don’t yell at me.

Indiana: Where did Mr. Game and Watch even come from?Ohio: Hell.Kentucky: Actually, there’s a series of handheld games-Indiana: Shut up nerd!

*Subspace bomb factory*Indiana: American weapons storage.*the entire factory blows up*Kentucky:… American weapons storage.Ohio: It’s us when we try to get together for holidays.

Ohio: Kirby rides in on a fucking dragon to save the day!Indiana: Sakurai showing clear favoritism for his children.Kentucky: Virginia made West a pepperoni roll once and when I asked for one she told me that I could starve.Ohio: GUYS IT WASN’T MASTER HAND IT’S THIS ASSHOLE OLD MAN LOOKING GUY AND BOWSER’S DEAD STOP HAVING FEELINGS AND GET YOUR HEADS IN THE GAME!

*Everyone dies*Indiana: I want butterfly wings that kill people.Kentucky: Evolve and grow them.Indiana: Good idea.Ohio: LUCAS NOOOOOOO!

*Dedede, Ness, and Luigi**Ohio walks in dressed as King Dedede, Indiana’s dressed as Ness, and Kentucky is dressed as Luigi*Kentucky: I still think I should have done sexy Luigi, but whatever.Indiana: Ohio, say it.Ohio: I’m not going to say it, fuck off.Indiana: Say it.Ohio: No!Indiana: SAY IT.Ohio: I’m gonna clobber that there Kirby.Kentucky: That’s mama Luigi to you!Indiana: Fuck, Ness doesn’t have any funny lines. Ohio: Can we please play the game now?Indiana, clearly excited: OKEY

*Great Maze*Indiana: You’re going the wrong way!Ohio: You’re hogging the remote! Let Kentucky play!Kentucky: That’s the wrong door!*they start screeching at each other. Minnesota walks into the room about to say something, shakes his head, and leaves.*

*Tabuu fight*Kentucky: I’m vibing with this music.Ohio: Don’t try and sound young, we all know you’re old as fuck.Indiana: Ohio if you don’t stop dying I’m going to throw you out a window.Kentucky: SONIC SPEED! *proceeds to die* GOSH DARN IT!Indiana: WHY ARE YOU USING SONIC?Kentucky: HE WAS RIGHT THERE I HAD TO!*they die about twelve more times, but only one makes the final cut. At some point they beat the game*

Indiana: This was cute. I really liked the relationships in it.Ohio: Yeah, shame we’ll never get a wholesome and fulfilling story mode again, right guys?Kentucky: *plays the Smash Ultimate theme on the xylophone.*Indiana: I’ll go get my Switch.Ohio: You better.Indiana: I’ll hit you.Ohio: You’re in my house, that’s assault.*Indiana kicks Ohio out of his chair. The video cuts for the last time*

[luci-cunt]

Neil Josten’s Vendetta

Neil needs a roommate, he gets Andrew. Which is fine, until Andrew is the first person to connect all of Neil’s victims and actually start figuring out who is killing all of the Butcher of Baltimore’s people.

“Umm, that’s pretty much it,” he said, forcing his eyes to land back on Minyard, who was still examining the apartment. He paused for a moment on the dead cactus, and then glanced questioningly at Neil, who smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of his neck.

“I’m not much of a– well I’m not very good at keeping things alive,” he said, then smiled a little wider at his own joke. Sustaining life was definitely a lot harder than watching it drain from someone’s eyes.

(Pt. 1/ ????)

(AN: this is my crappy attempt at fanfic so lol sorry if there’s spelling issues and if it randomly switches to first person, I tried to fix it but I’m more used to writing first person so I slip. Also thanks to @sig66​ cause I’m 100% stealing what you added on to my OG idea– unless you want to write it yourself then I’ll back off, but it’s a rad ass idea. Also thank you to @writingpuddle because you’re an icon and really nice so thanks for liking my au idea hope you like this lol)

*******

Neil scowled at the newspaper on his kitchen table. Well, more specifically the ad he knew was folded inside the pages. Written in typed, neat, black and white ink just like all the other rows of ads for dog sales and car sales and sales in general.

He’d been the one to publish the ad, which made it that much worse. Everything about his life until this point– hell even at this point–  was about skimming just below the radar. Staying out of everyone’s attention or as far in the periphery as he could manage. First it was staying carefully out of his father’s range and notice, then it was running from the eyes of his father’s people with his mother hand yanking at his hair and her hissing voice close in his ear reminding him that they’re close. You’re stalling us. Stop speaking now. We need to move. Forget that name. Remember this one. And now it was keeping ahead of the cops and making sure no one connected the trail of bodies he was leaving scattered over the country.

Neil ran a hand through his hair, trying to sooth the phantom pains and ghosts of fingers that thinking of his mother brought up. He sighed and looked away from the paper finally, trying to console himself with the fact that the ad had already been publish, it wasn’t under his actual name (he’d used his middle and last initials. A.J.), and his mother was dead. Dead and burned.

That was another memory he wasn’t feeling like reliving, so instead he took a sip of the scalding coffee he’d been making. It burned his tongue but shot him back into the present, out of the smoke and sand of that beach beneath the stars.

He tossed the paper in the trash as he went to grab cream from the kitchen. He knew what the ad said, had it burned into his brain as he’d read and re-read it trying to decide whether or not it was the right decision.

Roommate wanted, must be quiet and able to clean up after themselves. Email me with inquiries.

Part of him knew it was vague and a horrible ad, but part of him hoped no one would answer and he could convince himself that he’d tried.

People had answered though, three to be exact. The first two he’d written off, one asking if medium sized dogs were allowed– no– and the other wanting to know what kind of coffee he kept in the house. Neil hadn’t bothered responding to that one.

But the third one had been a single line.

Does the room have a door that locks.

Not even a question mark, or a name. The email said the person was an A. Minyard, and a quick google search hadn’t really gotten Neil much. Something about a car crash, some court cases Neil couldn’t be bothered to read, and a story about twins reuniting. The picture that had been taken for the article had actually made Neil laugh. Two boys– each with identical blond hair, roundish faces, and small statues– were scowling into the camera while a woman subtly fought to rest her hand on one of the boys shoulders. She looked a lot like them, except she was trying for a pained looking smile.

The exact same picture he realized was also used for her obituary. Just cropped to hide the twins.

But Neil didn’t really care, and he was running out of options so he’d responded with an equally thought-provoking yes. A. Minyard– who could have been either Aaron or Andrew if he was one of the twins Neil realized with some annoyance– had responded simply with a date and time and Neil had given him his address. (Even though his fingers froze when he tried to type it in and he couldn’t breathe right afterwards until he’d double and triple checked that all the doors and windows were locked and the cameras in place).

It had been a long time since Neil had been on the run. Actually, Neil Josten had never been on the run. Alex Crizewald, Chris Lucas, Stephan Waldridge, Nathaniel Wesninski and many more had been on the run. Neil Josten was a broke ex-college student working part time in a coffee shop down the street from his two bedroom apartment, he’d grown up in Virginia, and had a sister in Washington who he never talked to.

Neil Abram Josten was Neil Abram Josten. He’d stopped being anyone else the day his mother was killed.

Neil Abram Josten also had to get ready to meet A. Minyard, who was supposed to be coming over at 1:30. Neil almost groaned when he looked at his clock and it beamed 1:12 at him. He sipped at his coffee again, it tasted better now with cream, and it was less scalding, which was a relief for his already charred tongue.

Damn, and he’d wanted to get a shower.

He caught his own eye in the bathroom mirror as he decided to risk a quick shower anyways. He’d been at the gym down the street for the past couple of hours, trying desperately to run off the burn in the back of his head telling him to run. Leave everything, you’ve been found. They know where you are, they’re coming. Run.

His eyes used to scare him, there wasn’t much special about them, but paired with the Wesninski red curls it made him look like a smaller, more pointy version of the very Butcher he’d run from all those years ago. He’d dyed his hair back to auburn and removed his contacts mostly for dramatic effect, and luckily now they didn’t remind him so much of his father. Well, that’s not totally true, they just reminded him of his mission– Neil Josten’s vendetta if you will. Also the stupid reason he needed a roommate in the first place.

Turns out, hunting down and killing every person to have worked for your father (and your father) takes a lot out of your day.

He tore his eyes away from the mirror and pulled off his clothes, rinsing off fast and changing back into a loose pair of sweatpants and a hoodie just a loud knock pounded on the door. Neil tried not to scowl too much as he opened the door.

The first thing he noticed about A. Minyard was that he smelled like cigarettes and new car, which was an odd mix. Minyard was also shorter than Neil, which was slightly comforting– until Neil realized Minyard was nearly twice the size of him in muscle mass, that was not comforting. He was wearing all black, a pair of jeans, a dark t-shirt with a gray flannel around his waist and twin black armbands on both forearms.

Neil was kind of impressed, it was the end of what felt like one of the worst summers ever and this guy didn’t seem the slightest bit fazed. In fact he looked downright bored, with hooded hazel eyes and nothing other than a lazy eyebrow arch as Neil opened the door. He looked almost exactly like the photo from the newspaper article, and not much taller. The only real difference was his build and a slight shadow of stubble on his chin.

“A. Minyard?” Neil asked.

“Sunshine Muffin 7260?” Minyard asked in a deadpanned tone, Neil winced. He kept forgetting he’d let Matt make him the email after his coworker had found out he didn’t have one. He kept meaning to change it, but he only ever used it to talk to Matt, and sometimes his boss– Matt’s fiancé Dan– since he didn’t keep a phone for more than a week.

“Neil, actually,” Neil said, he didn’t bother to try for a handshake. From the cross-armed stance Minyard was holding Neil thought it wouldn’t be well received.

“Andrew,” he said simply, and Neil stepped aside to allow him to enter. He closed the door after Minyard– Andrew– walked in and then moved past him towards the kitchen.

“I have coffee?” he half asked, a little awkwardly. He wasn’t used to having guests in his apartment– still wasn’t exactly used to having an apartment–, but it was something Matt always said when he dragged Neil over for a movie night.

“I’m good,” Andrew said, glancing around the apartment as he followed Neil into the kitchen. It wasn’t very big, the front door leading into a small living room that turned into a kitchen on the left side. The living room had a couch set up facing the TV, and there was a dead cactus Dan had gotten him sitting in the windowsill above the sink, but otherwise the room was completely undecorated. There was also a door leading to a bathroom through the kitchen, and a tiny hallway to where the two bedrooms were. Both identical, small rooms with a single window and a half closet.

“Cool, uh, your room would be down he hall, mine’s on the right–” Neil pointed down the hall, he didn’t mention that the room on the right had the window over his downstairs neighbors shrub garden, and that he’d picked that room because it would make a halfway decent escape route if needed. “There’s only one bathroom, that’s it there, and then the kitchen and the living room…” he drifted off, glancing around the apartment and fidgeting with his sleeve a little. “Umm, that’s pretty much it,” he said, forcing his eyes to land back on Minyard, who was still examining the apartment. He paused for a moment on the dead cactus, and then glanced questioningly at Neil, who smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of his neck.

“I’m not much of a– well I’m not very good at keeping things alive,” he said, then smiled a little wider at his own joke. Sustaining life was definitely a lot harder than watching it drain from someone’s eyes.

“Huh, can I smoke in here or are you a prude?” Minyard asked bluntly, and Neil raised a brow and smirked at his blank expression.

“Not technically, but the smoke alarms in the rooms are shit if you open the window,” Neil said, and Minyard nodded. “You can take that as either the warning sign or invitation that it is,” Neil added, and Minyard eyed him carefully, somehow managing to peer at Neil down his nose despite being shorter.

“Can I see the room?” He asked instead of answering, and Neil nodded, gesturing down the hall. Minyard turned out of sight and Neil heard him try the handle of his own– thankfully locked– door.

“Mine’s on the right,” Neil reminded him, poking his head into the hallway and then raised a brow at Minyard, “You remember my email down to the number but can’t remember your lefts and rights?” he mocked, and Minyard scowled at him, before disappearing into the room. Neil breathed a small laugh and went into the kitchen where his laptop was set up. With nothing better to do while he waited for Minyard to decide he opened it up and winced at the number of emails Matt and Dan had both sent him. He regretted mentioning Minyard coming over now.

He closed the laptop instead of reading any of them and instead pulled out his phone. There was a new message, from an unknown number which wasn’t that unusual on Neil’s phone. He opened it and scanned the code. Well, it wasn’t much of a code, just written in French. It was from one of Neil’s newer contacts– one that apparently didn’t understand what Neil meant by confidential. There was GPS coordinates, and a date and time window for Neil to reach it by. Luckily it looked like he had a day, but his fingers itched to get the envelope he knew would be waiting at the site. Containing the names and information on his next victims.

Neil had been hunting down the Butcher’s men for the years. It had been surprisingly easy at first, hunting down the weakest members and picking them off. But the higher up he got the more difficult it was proving– and the longer surveillance took. Neil hated surveillance. If he had any trust left he probably would hire someone to do it for him. But this wasn’t something he could risk– or put in someone else's hands.

The killing had been something to get used to– no, the feeling of killing. Killing was easy, you just stab the right place and the blood drains and the person goes limp and usually piss themselves. It’s not all that.

But the exhilaration of adding another notch into his knife, of getting that much higher in the Wesninski ladder, it was frightening how much he’d started to understand that light in his fathers eyes. It helped a little to know everyone he was killing were monsters, working for a monster, but the first couple of kills had been messy as he dredged up the lessons from Lola and his father and tried to act them out.

A dark part of his mind wished he was able to draw things out longer, to make sure his victims knew who was killing them and why. But another part was glad he didn’t, and knew he never would be able to do more than quick kills from the shadows.

There was also the fact that killing slow meant mess, and unfortunately Neil Josten didn’t have Nathan Wesninski’s murder budget. What a shame.

“I need to move in as soon as possible,” Minyard said, snapping Neil out of his thoughts and making him jump. For being such a heavy looking person he was startlingly quiet. Neil ran a hand through his hair.

“That’s fine, I have work tomorrow but I get off by 11,” Neil said, and Minyard nodded.

“I’ll be here by 11:30,” he said curtly, and Neil laughed.

“Hopefully the enthusiasm isn’t from some trouble you might be dragging in, that would be impolite,” he said, a very thinly veiled threat that he punctuated with his father’s smile– no his smile. Minyard scowled at him.

“I don’t think anything could be more trouble than you seem to be,” Minyard said flatly, and Neil laughed again, barely biting back the words you have no idea.

“See you tomorrow roomie,” Neil grinned as Minyard gave him a last scathing look and then left.

*****

“Surprise!” A voice shouted from behind Neil, and he jumped, reaching for a weapon he didn’t have on him as he whirled around. He relaxed once he recognized Matt’s grinning face and rolled his eyes.

“Are you going to shout that everytime you show up for your scheduled work time?” Neil asked as he finished refilling the to-go cups in the front of the cafe. Matt laughed and patted his shoulder.

“Dan and I have a bet to see who can get you to cuss first,” Matt explained and Neil gave him a flat look.

“That’s the stupidest bet I’ve heard you guys make, and you were betting whether or not toe-jamb was one word or last week,” Neil said, finishing the cups and untying his apron, Matt laughed. He had a good laugh, like him it was large and unignorable and much too frequent. Matt seemed to know everyone, and he loved introducing Neil to people, which made Neil’s skin crawl. But Matt was also the closest thing to a friend Neil could say he ever had.

Well, there was Kevin and Riko, but Neil didn’t think the wonder-twins counted as friends more than childhood acquaintances.

Matt had actually been Neil’s first roommate– aside from his mother (Neil tried not to wince at how that sounded), and had gotten him the job at the horribly named “Biscottea.”

“And what did we learn from that?” Dan asked, suddenly appearing from the back room and making Matt beam. Neil sighed and recited Dan’s ‘lessons’ with a more than excited Matt.

“‘Don’t argue with Dan, and hyphens count as one word.’”

“Mmm, just like Boyd-Wilds,” Matt said, walking over to plant a kiss on Dan who smiled up at him.

“I do like the sound of that word,” Dan agreed, “Hey babe,” she added. Which made Matt’s smile widen– impossibly– as he wrapped his arms around Dan, she hugged him back and they rocked for a moment.

“Come here often?” Matt asked cheekily, and she rolled her eyes with faux annoyance. Neil tried his best to fade into the shadows, suddenly feeling like an intruder, and attempted to open the drawer where his time card was silently. It didn’t work– there was nothing less silent than that stupid drawer– and both Dan and Matt were focused back on him.

“You going to meet your new roomie?” Matt asked, and Neil nodded.

“Technically I already met him,” Neil muttered, but they both ignored him.

“Apparently he’s a grouch,” Dan said, crossing her arms over her chest as Neil handed his apron over to Matt, who furrowed his brow as he tied it on.

“What’s that mean?”

“He said like, four words the whole time, and called me a prude,” Neil explained, checking the clock to fill out the time on the card. Matt laughed.

“Is he wrong though?” he asked, and Dan chuckled when Neil glared over at both of them.

“Whatever, I’m going home,” he grumbled, before closing the drawer extra slowly so that it made a horrible screeching noise that caused most of the customers in the cafe to glare at him. Matt and Dan dramatically covered their ears and screamed.

“Noo! Not the drawer!” Matt cried, and Neil rolled his eyes and turned to leave.

“Bye Spinster!” Dan called after him as he slammed the door behind him. He shook his head out and didn’t bother wiping the smile off his face. He glanced at his watch, 11:03 that meant he still had time to look over the new envelope before Minyard showed up. He sighed as he realized that wasn’t something he was going to be able to do in his own apartment with the new roommate.

He jogged back to the apartment, and took a quick shower to wash off the smell of the cafe and his jog before plopping down on the couch with the plain manila envelope. He turned on the TV, which was tuned to some sports channel reviewing an exy game from last night.

Neil would never admit that he’d picked the station because it played mostly exy reviews. He’d told himself he wouldn’t even dip his toes in the risk of temptation by actually watching an exy game, but the review weren’t games. And, it wasn’t his fault they were on when he got home.

Pure, unadulterated coincidence.

Just like how the envelope was discarded so Neil could curl his knees up to his chest and get sucked into a slow motion replay of a play made by the captain of the Trojan’s team– Jeremy Knox.

Not that Neil knew that. That was a lie, the only thing Neil didn’t know about nearly every Class I exy team was the players numbers, because he needed some kind of deniability for his shabby example of self restraint.

At least he didn’t have the stalker binder of Kevin and Riko anymore, now it was disguised as a cookbook in the kitchen. Though he had kept tabs on them both, enough to know that Kevin had suffered a nasty injury that made it impossible for him to play exy anymore. Neil was pretty sure he’d decided to become a history major and coach the local exy teams. He and Dan actually coached one of the community ones together, and Neil had heard plenty about the arrogant son of exy and his “perfectionist” and “douchwad” tendencies from Dan.

Soon enough there was a pounding on the door that jerked Neil out of his exy hole. He glanced wistfully at the screen and switched it to a regular news station before getting up. He stuffed the envelope behind the fridge on his way to the door and checked the peep hole. Spotting the top of Minyard’s blond head he opened the door.

Minyard was dressed drastically different from yesterday. Neil raised a brow at the choice of light-washed jeans and a bright orange Palmetto State hoodie.

“Are you having an identity crisis?” he asked, frowning at the way Minyard glared at him with more emotion than he’d all of yesterday.

“Not Andrew,” he growled, and Neil nodded in realization.

“Oooh, you’re Aaron,” he said, and Aaron furrowed his brow.

“He mentioned me?” he asked, sounding surprised and Neil laughed.

“No,” he said, which made Aaron look more confused. “Did he pay you to move him in? Cause that would be hilarious.” that made Aaron bristle, but before he could say anything the sound of german drifted up from the stairs. Neil cocked his head as he listened to what sounded like a phone conversation.

“...no, I’m not telling you that. Does it sound like I care about your whiny needs?” The voice deadpanned. There was a pause and then the other Minyard appeared at the top of the stairs. He looked as bored as he had yesterday and was wearing all black again. This time though he had an Arctic Monkeys AM shirt and ripped jeans. Neil tried not to roll his eyes.

“It doesn’t matter if–” he sucked in a long, frustrated sounding breath as he was cut off. “No, you will not waste away without details,” he said, pausing for a moment to listen and then sighed. “Then die.” and he hung up. Neil stifled a laugh as Aaron and Andrew shared a look.

“How’s Nicky?” Aaron asked smugly in german, and Andrew rolled his eyes, tossing the phone at him as it rang.

“This is Aaron,” Andrew introduced curtly, and Neil smirked.

“He knows,” Aaron muttered in german, hanging up the phone without picking up he call, and Andrew gave Neil an odd look.

“Knows what, you know I hate vague statements.” he said, not taking his eyes off Neil.

“He knew who I was, I thought you told him but he said you didn’t,” Aaron explained, and Andrew’s eyes narrowed suspiciously. Neil tried to smile innocently, but he had a feeling it didn’t work.

“Google is a thing Aaron, stop being paranoid. Go get something from the car,” Andrew snapped a little too sharply to be truly convincing. Aaron seemed to realize this, because he cast a wary look between Andrew and Neil and then reluctantly left for the stairs.

“He’s off so soon?” Neil asked, and Andrew stared him down for a while longer.

“There’s stuff in the car,” he said finally, and Neil nodded.

“Cool, need help? How much do you have?” he asked, Andrew took another lengthy sigh before answering.

“There’s two cars,” Andrew said, before turning and leaving for the stairs again, Neil assumed that meant yes and followed him down. They passed Aaron on the way down, and Neil tensed at the thought of him being in the apartment without Neil there to supervise. Andrew noticed, and raised a brow.

“Worried he’ll steal your dead plant?” he asked dryly, Neil smiled mockingly.

“It’s name is Marshall,” Neil said, Dan had insisted on his naming it, but it had only proven to make him feel worse about telling her he’d killed it. He tried not to pause to much on the fact that he was more guilty over the death of Marshall then the twenty plus people he’d killed.

“Was,” Andrew corrected, before resuming the walk to the cars. Neil clenched his jaw and glared after him, before muttering a couple curses under his breath before following him.

Neil immediately spotted the cars. He didn’t claim to know a single thing about cars, except that the one that Andrew unlocked looked insanely expensive. Next to it there was a large, old looking blue truck stacked full of furniture. Neil almost choked, it seemed to reek permanence.

Not your stuff. Not your stuff. Not your stuff.

He tried to console himself as a girl jumped down out of the truck. She was wearing a flowy looking skirt that had a map of the world on it and a plain green shirt on. Her dirty-blonde hair was tied up in a high ponytail and she seemed to bounce over to Neil, grinning widely as she stuck out her hand.

“Hi I’m Katelyn,” she said, sounding as bubbly as she looked. Neil smiled weakly and shook her hand.

“Neil,” he said.

“Nice to meet you, by the way I love your hair, is that a natural color or do you dye it?” she asked, blue eyes bright and sincere.

“Natural,” Neil said on reflex, it was a little odd to realize he was telling the truth. Katelyn’s eyes widened and she reached out like she was going to touch it. Neil flinched slightly and she pulled back.

“Sorry, sorry, that’s my bad, I should have asked,” she said, casting a wary glance back to Andrew, who didn’t appear to have noticed the interaction and was busy pulling something out of the fancy car. Neil furrowed his brow, but before he could think too much about it Aaron suddenly appeared.

“Kate, can you give me a hand?” he asked, subtly dragging his girlfriend away from Neil. He was glad, her cheerfulness was exhausting.

“No problem,” she said, and they both started undoing the ties keeping all the furniture in place. Neil got another near overwhelming sense of panic, and he dragged a hand through his hair to try and calm himself down.

“Here,” Andrew said, suddenly shoving a box into Neil’s arms. Neil glared at him.

“Thanks,” he said sarcastically, before looking at the box and realizing it was an animal carrier. He frowned and peeked inside to see a fluffy looking black and white cat glaring at him.

“Hope you’re not allergic to cats,” Andrew said with a small smirk,

“What the fuck is this?” Neil hissed, which made Andrew’s smirk grow.

“Therapy animal, her name’s King, you should introduce her to the apartment.” Andrew said, before running off to go ‘help’ Aaron unload the truck by standing over his shoulder and snapping at him to be more careful with the furniture. Neil glared between the cat and Andrew before growling and turning away.

“I’m throwing it down the stairs!” he called over his shoulder.

“I dare you,” Andrew replied, and Neil glared again.

“Fuck you.”

*******

[carolynpetit]

198X and Being Players in a Dangerous Time

NOTE: This piece describes 198X in detail. I encourage you to play the game yourself. It’s currently available on Steam and PS4, costs $10, and takes about 90 minutes to play.

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There’s a song I love by the Canadian singer-songwriter Bruce Cockburn called “Lovers in a Dangerous Time.” To me, the song is about how the things we might take for granted as a normal part of our lives most of the time can feel frivolous or wasteful in times of great crisis, yet it’s also in those difficult times that we may need those things the most. I mean, how can you go on a romantic getaway when immigrants are being held in nightmarish conditions in concentration camps here in the United States? But on the other hand, isn’t it in these times that we most need to be reminded of our own humanity, the humanity of others, and why a better world is worth fighting for?

When you're lovers in a dangerous time Sometimes you're made to feel as if your love's a crime  Nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight  Got to kick at the darkness 'til it bleeds daylight

Personally, I often find that many video games, movies, television shows and other types of art that I normally enjoy begin to feel hollow and indulgent when I can’t escape the awareness that moral atrocities are being committed by my own government. However, it’s also true that such times are precisely when art that cuts through the crap and makes me feel something deep and genuine is more vital and necessary than ever. 

Twin Peaks: The Return was essential to me during the first year under Trump, not for being the most “woke” thing on TV (it wasn’t) but for being such a strange and uncompromising show that watching it felt like being blasted with a high-pressure water cannon that washed away the cynicism I’d cloaked myself in as a way of enduring the horrors of the week. On one episode, David Lynch’s own character, FBI agent Gordon Cole, tells chief of staff Denise Bryson, a transgender woman, that he told the agency men who didn’t accept her to “fix their hearts or die,” and there was the show itself, each week, working its own magic to fix my heart, to keep me human in dehumanizing times. 

For me, the new video game 198X enters this same category; it’s one of those rare and urgent works that does what we most need art to do when we most need art to do it. In 198X’s launch trailer, we see footage of games from an assortment of genres as the protagonist, Kid, says, “This is not just a beat ‘em up. This is not just a shoot ‘em up. This is not just a racing game. This is not just a ninja game. This is not just an RPG.” This trailer got me fired up for the game because I felt as if I knew exactly what Kid meant. When I was a kid myself, back in the years of 198X, games were much more to me than what they may have appeared to be on the surface. In my desperation to escape from anguish both internal and external--the pain of gender dysphoria, a home racked by alcoholism and instability--I could turn even a simple, tedious game like Capcom’s run-and-gun Commando, one of the few NES cartridges we owned, into a valiant struggle to triumph over the forces that threatened to swallow me whole. 

Like me, Kid is an expert at finding deeper meaning in the space between themselves and the game. And it only makes sense, since like me, Kid has a need for escape, and a need for meaning. 198X avoids the use of any gendered pronouns for Kid--the only voice we hear throughout the game is Kid’s own, as they narrate their own story--but I believe Kid might be trans or genderqueer. At least, in the absence of the game asserting otherwise, this is my headcanon. I have to admit, seeing a character like Kid in a game still feels like coming across an oasis in a desert. Such representation is so rare, and so precious to me, that it feels life-giving. Brilliantly delivered by Maya Tuttle, Kid’s narration offers us tremendous insight into who they are, even as they remain a fiercely guarded individual. During one of the game’s many gorgeous pixel art interludes, Kid reminisces about how they used to frequent a nearby video store with their father. “But then, we didn’t go there anymore,” Kid says, hinting at some undefined strife that has driven their family apart. “It was no big deal,” Kid says, revealing just what a huge deal it was.

198X’s narrative offers little in the way of specifics, and to me, this only makes it stronger. It asks us to identify with Kid as a player, to feel the games the way that they do and to understand how those games might take on a meaning that reaches beyond the basement arcade that becomes Kid’s refuge. When you start 198X, you’re immediately thrown into Kid’s experience as a player. The first thing you see is an intro sequence and title screen for Beating Heart, a beat ‘em up released in the year 198X. You hear the sound of a quarter sliding into the machine, and then it begins, you’re playing, controlling a brawler in a red hoodie--Kid’s signature color--clobbering an assortment of punks who are out to stop you for reasons that are never explained. They don’t need to be. Kid feels antagonized by the world. Fighting just to survive. That’s why the act of defeating the people who stand in Kid’s way is meaningful. 

198X is a game about how games can mean more to us. If it didn’t let the games that Kid plays within it make their own kind of meaning, unfettered by story specifics, it would undercut its own effectiveness. Unlike so many pixel art games that play as homages to the past and simply want to replicate and capitalize on our memories, 198X is interested in commenting on them, in exploring just what our experiences with the games of the past may have meant to us. Stories in games back then were routinely disposable but that doesn’t mean that the games didn’t mean anything. They did. Through their imagery and music and the way they made us feel, they took on all kinds of meaning, offering places where those of us who felt like losers could be heroes, where those of us who never felt like we fit in here in the real world could belong, could be wanted, could be needed.

Thankfully, 198X prioritizes emotional truth over historical accuracy, allowing the games that you play as Kid to do things that real arcade games of the 1980s never did. After playing Beating Heart for several minutes, making your way out of a subway station and onto a city street, something surprising happens: the camera pans up and away from our hoodied hero to take in an unreachable skyline in the distance. Beating Heart fades out, and it’s only then that we first see Kid, alone in their room in their suburban home, a city in the distance representing all the freedom and possibility that Kid dreams of, but it may as well be a million miles away, for all the good it does them. 

Unable to achieve that kind of escape, Kid finds a different kind at the local arcade, telling us, “In front of these machines stood some of the coolest uncool people I had ever seen. They were the freaks, the geeks, the misfits, the outcasts, the real rebels, part of something the outside world could not understand, or even knew existed.” Is that the kind of narration some people might find cheesy? You’re damn right it is, and thank goodness for it. I have no patience right now for irony. Give me something earnest, sincere and openhearted. Kid may be emotionally guarded but 198X wears its heart on its sleeve and I am here for it. 

My favorite moment in 198X comes a bit later, after Kid reveals their crush on a girl at their high school. “Oh, man, that girl was born a rebel, free to go wherever she wanted to,” Kid says as we see their crush peel out of the high school parking lot in a black sports car, leaving Kid quite literally in the dust. “Free in a way I could still only dream of,” Kid says, and instantly we’re presented with the title screen of 198X’s driving game, The Runaway, which begins with a black sports car speeding off into the distance, leaving Kid’s car, your car, a red sports car in the foreground, pursuing the driver of the black car and the freedom that she represents. 

The Runaway’s most direct reference point is probably Sega’s 1986 racer OutRun (one of the best games of all time, as I talk about in this video), but OutRun offers an escape. In The Runaway, Kid can’t quite get away from reality. You make your way from a barren desert to the outskirts of a city, and Kid begins to speak, completely blurring the already thin lines between their real life and their experiences with the games at the arcade. “Nothing could beat the rush of the highway,” Kid says. “The speeding cars reminding me that there was a way out, a road to somewhere, the city on the horizon. I’d drive all night to get to that place,” Kid says with their characteristic guarded longing, and just then, a soaring, yearning guitar screams above the ambient synth soundscape, sending chills down my spine. So often in the games of the 1980s, music was where emotional complexity could flourish, even when the narrative was just a flimsy excuse for you to run through deathtrap-laden levels and blast killer robots, and 198X’s score is consistently up to the task of capturing the heightened emotion of the period’s best video game music, but what it does here is special, even by those lofty standards.

It’s a piercing, perfectly calibrated moment, but it’s not the last of The Runaway’s surprises. You make it to a bridge, speeding past highway signs that indicate you’re getting closer and closer to the city as Kid talks about how the games at the arcade have changed their life. “Down here, I was free. I was in control. No one told me where to go or what to do. The only bad part about it was having to come back up to the real world.” Just then, you run out of time. Your car slows to a stop. All the other cars speed on, bound for the city, but for you, it remains out of reach. And isn’t that just how it feels sometimes, like there are freedoms that others enjoy, that elude you, no matter what? It is for me, anyway.

The final game you play as Kid in 198X is called Kill Screen. A rudimentary first-person sci-fi RPG of sorts, it has no analog in the actual arcade games of the 1980s, so far as I’m aware, but that doesn’t matter. 198X is an emotional journey, not a historical one. In Kill Screen, you must slay three dragons, all the while taunted by an artificial intelligence known as Motherboard, clearly a stand-in for Kid’s own mother, or at least for the ways in which Kid has come to see their mother as a symbol for all the ways in which they’re trapped. It’s here in Kill Screen that 198X takes its only real missteps. Among Motherboard’s taunts are some statements that feel too plain and standard to evoke the intensity of Kid’s struggle. Sure, when a parent fails to connect with you as a person, even comments like “DO YOUR HOMEWORK” and “DON’T STAY UP” can be painful reminders of the yawning distance between you and them, but in the context of 198X’s economical storytelling, these generic phrases fall flat. Other phrases hit harder, though. When Motherboard’s cold robotic voice intones the words “YOU ARE ERROR,” a Zelda II reference that also pointedly encapsulates how I often felt in the world and how I imagine Kid does as well, I laughed, but it stung a little, too. As I triumphed over the challenges of the dungeon, Motherboard resorted to merely repeating “HELP HELP HELP,” and I felt that Kid’s mom was almost certainly hurting in her own way, unsure of how to connect with her child, the two of them talking past each other, neither sure how to close the gap.

What does Kid’s defeat of Motherboard actually mean? Where does Kid go from here? I don’t know, and I’m glad the game doesn’t try to spell it out. All I know is that there are still possibilities in Kid’s life, just as there are still possibilities in mine, and that games can mean something valuable and real, even when the world feels like it’s falling apart. 

I don’t expect 198X to work on everybody the way it worked on me. After all, it’s a game about how deeply personal our experiences with games can be, how games can take on larger meanings in the context of what’s happening in our own lives. We take our life experiences into the games with us--Kid’s ambiguous gender identity, for instance, is hugely meaningful to me, in ways it may not be to others--and we take the meaning we find in the space between ourselves and the games we play back into our lives. 198X doesn’t just understand that; it captures what it is to find the kind of meaning you so desperately need in a game right when when you so desperately need it, and god, do I need it now. This is one of the best games of the year.

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