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#let’s just pray for me because I am tired
juletheghoul · 3 days
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too close
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a/n: Yeah. The trailer got me again. I can't help myself!!! Also - I didn't actually want to write feelings for these two but I have no say anymore. They have feelings, they are obsessed with each other and I can't just ignore it lol. Not beta’d and barely proofread- any mistakes or errors are my own. Hopefully you enjoy! (PS I did a little research on fruits in Roman times- they had no word for orange, so any shade of orange was just called red)
Warnings; 18+ no minors, vague but big-legal age gap, piv sex, dirty talk, Marcus eats pussy and I don't CARE, giving him that gluckgluck3000, creampie, Marcus gets hurt (hurt comfort), hand stuff from him because he's my precious man and he likes to give his girl pleasure, master / slave dynamic (power imbalance) he’s still pretty possessive, Marcus calls reader Girl, reader calls Marcus Dominus (for now?👀), **FEELINGS** let me know if I missed any!
This is the fic I referenced in this preview
Pairing: Marcus Acaciusx F!Reader
word count: 5.1k (whoops!)
reblogs are appreciated
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You frowned, despite your station, the confusion and slight worry breaking through the years of training your face to remain neutral. For a moment, you forgot your place.
“But-“ he turned, head tilted in curiosity instead of anger, thankfully, “I am to stay here? You do not wish me to accompany you Dominus? To pour and serve…?” You could not keep the slight hurt from your voice, much to your dismay. 
“No Girl, you will stay here, at the villa.” He saw the confusion, the unabashed anguish on your face and his expression softened, “peace Girl, it is not a matter of not desiring your presence or your service.” You listened to him with a lump in your throat, a wild fear seizing your heart that he might have grown tired of you. 
“I will not have the luxury of a tent, the rebellion is small enough that I can squash it and be back in less than a moon’s turn.” He came close, close enough to have your face tilt up to stare into his eyes. “I would not have you waiting for me in such a meagre camp, I would not have you sleeping in the dirt.” His hand settled on your arm, a soft offering, a reassurance but it did nothing to calm you. You have grown so accustomed to having him close, to ending up in his bed of a night more often than not before heading to your own, naked and pleasantly sore; to falling asleep with his seed trickling out of your puffy little cunt.
“I am comfortable wherever you are Dominus, I could still be of use, to light your fires-“ 
“I would have you here, and safe. That is my decision, and no amount of temptation will sway me from it.” He lifted your hand, pressing his lips to your fingers in silent, but firm apology. You knew there was nothing to be said, you had already pushed the matter far more than would be allowed on a normal day. 
“Your will, Dominus.” You bowed your head, despite the hurt and worry swirling around in your belly. “I will pray to the Gods for your swift victory, and safe return home.” 
He nodded, leaving shortly after. 
Time passed, and a feeling of restlessness took firm root in your being. The house felt empty, despite the attendants and sentinels left to guard them as well as the property. The days found you listless, moving through the motions of your chores and daily duties practically numb. The days were marks on the wall of your mind, praying to the Gods to send him back to you. 
Whispers travelled swiftly through the city, through the market stalls and through the villa itself, most of them rumours and it was difficult to keep your emotions in check. 
He has advanced
He has killed the leaders of the rebellion
He is victorious, already on his way home
He has been hurt
He is dead
He is victorious - Rome's favoured son has triumphed once more
The moon turned, once, and then twice, finally a third time before he was home. The all encompassing relief was short lived however, that wash of relief turned to ashes in your mouth at the sight of him. One of the rumours had been true after all. A sword wound to the side had laid him low late into the battle, it hadn’t killed him, thank the Gods, but it had slowed him down and made his journey home nothing short of agony. 
Your heart raced to see him weakened, every fibre of your being itched to run to him, to press your lips to skin but you refrained. You stood aside, dutifully, letting his trusted soldiers practically carry him to his bed. The older women got to work, bringing fortified wine with all manner of powders and potions to aid in his recovery while you stood next to him, the little half-moon marks in your palms from your nails barely felt like anything compared to the ache in the back of your throat. 
Your eyes would not leave his face. 
He looked so tired, mud and grime still marring his skin as he lay prone on his bed. To forfend the ugly thoughts swirling around in your mind, you focused on the tasks at hand. 
He needs to be cleansed, after he eats something I will boil some water and move gently, leave him to gather his strength. An offering must be made so the Gods will hasten his healing-
“Girl.” His voice was soft, and instantly you rushed to his side. 
“Yes Dominus, I am here.” You took his hand tentatively, your heart soared to feel him squeeze it. 
“Fetch me some broth, and help me to sit up–a few pillows behind me. I would sit upright.” 
You rushed to comply, happy to focus on his instructions. With soft touch, you did your best to prop him up, biting your lip to stop your eyes from welling up when he winced. Once satisfied, you set about fetching hot water and linens, as well as his broth. He sighed at the sight of it, and drank almost all of it within a few heartbeats. 
“Shall I help you cleanse now Dominus?” You brought the basin closer, showing him the steaming water and he nodded. 
Tentatively, you removed the soiled clothes he wore, ears pricked up for any sign of discomfort. He beared it with good grace, keeping the twinges of pain to himself, you imagined for your benefit, and you were grateful. It took time, but finally, you had divested him of everything, and he half sat, half laid on his bed, not an ounce of shame for his nakedness. It was secondary, to see him bare, more alarming was the soiled linens with the dark bloom of dried blood staining it on his side like some grotesque flower. 
He was pale, weak, his injury robbing him of his normal, ruddy health. He watched you, his expression somewhere between exhaustion, and a calm content. 
With gentle hands, you dipped the clean linen into the steaming water of the basin, and methodically cleaned the dirt, and dried blood from his skin. Eventually his eyes closed, soft sighs filled the air with every pass of the warm cloth across his shoulders, down the firm muscles of his thighs, his hands, until you reached the contours of his face. The lines were more defined, this battle had taken a toll on him. 
Your thumbs smoothed over his brows, wiping dust and worry away with a bone deep gratitude that he had come back. He melted into your touch, and you tried and failed to suppress the smile. 
“I must clean the wound, Dominus.” You reached for more clean dressings, giving him a chance to steel himself but he kept his eyes closed. You thought he might have fallen asleep, but he nodded, and so you did what needed to be done. 
To his great credit, he didn’t make a sound. Even as you cleaned at the angry, but healing edges of the wound. He said nothing when you packed it with the poultice one of the women had brought, when you covered it in a clean dressing, even as he drank down the no doubt foul tasting potion to help him sleep. Instead he settled back, and sighed, his eyelashes fluttering against his skin. 
You gathered all of the soiled clothing and discarded bandages, and moved to leave him to rest but his hand snatched at your wrist. 
“Wait, Girl, stay. Stay with me–” His words were almost slurred, and he didn’t finish his thought, his hand loosened around your wrist but you stayed, taking great care to lie beside him on his bed, and watched him sleep. Your heart raced with something you couldn’t–wouldn't name, something that threaded through your ribcage like smoke, wreathing its way around your lungs and taking root in your heart. You pressed the back of your hand to his brow, thankful that no fever lurked there and once satisfied that he was indeed resting, you rested your head next to his. 
Sleep took you, swiftly and without warning. 
The world outside was dark when your eyes opened, and it took a moment for you to get your bearings. His warm skin pressed to your arm and you jolted with the memory of his injury. 
“Peace, girl, I am well.” His voice was quiet, but stronger than before, “You did well in changing my dressings.” His praise squeezed at something in your belly, robbing you of any words you might have had. “You must be hungry, go and fetch something to eat and bring it here, I will share the meal with you.” The concern in his voice brought a smile to your lips, his thoughts on you, despite the pain he must have been in. 
“Yes Dominus, shall I fetch more of the potion as well? You should rest-” He raised his hand softly to forestall you. 
“I have rested enough, I would have my wits about me just now. Go on, you may fetch whatever else you need, I would have you sleeping in my bed.” 
His words rung in your ears as you moved throughout the silent house. They shone through your eyes as you piled a serving tray with olives and cheese, with bread and ripe fruits. They camped in your belly as it rolled with something when they repeated over and over like a prayer in your mind as you filled a serving jug with the wine he favoured, they strengthened your grip as you carried it with the utmost care down the moonlit halls of the house, almost sharpening your eyesight to bring you swiftly back to him. 
You set it down between you on his bed, careful not to spill anything or jostle him too much and just in time too, the hunger rung out from your empty belly loud as thunder but you ignored it, your priority was to help him sit up.
“Eat Girl, you are starving. I will pick at my leisure.” He frowned, gesturing to the food and you were grateful beyond words. It was a quiet meal, but comfortable. He usually ate by himself, most of the time while in his study and with you, it was after chores and duties had been completed. Despite all of your trysts and time spent together, it was the first meal you’d ever shared. 
“You do not favour the olives.” He said it without judgement. You shook your head shyly, covering your mouth to speak through bites of bread and cheese. 
“My desire for them is unpredictable.” He tilted his head, “Sometimes, they are all I want. Other times, I cannot stand the sight of them.” You wrinkled your nose, confirming that this time, the latter statement was true.
He smiled, huffing out an amused laugh through his nose.
“What else do you like? I see you favour the fruit, which one do you like most of all?” It was strange to be asked about yourself, no one in your life had ever wondered about what you might of preferred, for anything.
“Figs, I think. Pomegranates too, although peeling them takes a lifetime.” He huffed again, wincing slightly, “Are you in pain? Shall I fetch–” He raised a hand. 
“I am well, continue. Why do you favour them if they are so troublesome to eat?” He shifted a tiny bit, with great effort, turning to face you better. The room was dark, save for the few candles burning and the moon shining in through his window, casting stark shadows across his lovely face. 
“They are worth the effort.” 
He smiled, and finally reaches over to help himself to the food. Something about the darkness, about the quiet seclusion made you bolder.
“What about you Dominus? Is there a fruit you favour?” Your heart raced, fear that you might have overstepped grabbing hold of you but it was for naught, he merely frowned in thought. 
“I prefer plums.” He said after a moment, “I like figs as well.” It was both exhilarating and strange to speak with him like that, in the quiet dark, almost comfortable. “Although–in my younger days we fought in Spain, and there I tasted a fruit I have never seen again, I do not know the name of it but I enjoyed it very much.” 
“What was it like?”
“It was round, a strange shade of red with a thick peel but underneath it had segments like a lemon.” He continued eating, and you were content to sit with him, only moving the tray once he had eaten his fill.
“It is good to be home.” The words came out as a sigh, “I missed it while I was away, more than any other time I must admit.” He shifted slightly and winced again, “Help me lay flat, my back aches from sitting.” He held out his hand and you rushed to oblige, moving pillows and positioning him flat on his back. “That is better, gratitude Girl, let us blow out the candles and settle in.” 
“Yes Dominus.”
“Have you something to sleep in? What is most comfortable for you?” 
“I am content in this, Dominus.” You gestured to your tunic as you made your way around the room, snuffing out the candlelight.
“That is not what I asked you.” There was no bite in his words, but the expectation of truth was plain as day. 
“Most nights I sleep in the nude, it is what is most comfortable for me.” You made your way back to the bed but he did not let you get in. 
“Please, make yourself comfortable, there is no expectation from me, much as I have missed the pleasures of your body. I would have you sleep how you are accustomed.” You nodded once, undressing down to your skin before slipping into bed with him. In the dark, in the quiet, it was peaceful and the sound of his steady breathing worked it spell on you quicker than you would have thought. 
“Gratitude Girl.” He said it soft, and with a full belly and heavy lids, you questioned him. 
“For what Dominus?” The words were almost slurred, as the heavy press of sleep pushed you into the deep pool of blackness. You thought you heard him say everything, but you could not be sure, sleep had claimed you. 
-
You woke with the sun, the first few rays sliding across your skin like water and it was hard to move from your place. In the night, your body had brought you close to him, seeking out the warmth of him. He was still asleep, but his legs had tangled up with yours and it was strange to lay with him like this, both of you nude as the day you were born, yet incredibly comforting. 
You took the time to check over his wound, and were pleased to find it looking much better. The edges of it stitching together, thankfully without corruption. 
“It does not hurt as much as it did before.” His voice was sleepy, “I will be back on my feet soon enough.”
“Let me dress Dominus, and I will fetch you something to break your fast.” 
“Not just yet.” He shifted, and although you helped him, he didn’t struggle quite as much. “Come, lie with me.” He held out his arm, and you went to him, trembling like a leaf to rest your head on his shoulder. “Gods, I missed you, Girl.” He buried his nose into the mess of your hair and something inside you grew and swelled, was fed and made strong by his words and by his skin. 
“I missed you, Dominus.” Truer words had never been spoken by you, the ache for him had been unbearable.
“Did you?” There was something underneath, something desperate and had it not been so early, so peaceful, he might not have asked.
“Desperately Dominus, I feared you had abandoned me, I feared you no longer desired me.” You pressed your face into his neck, breathing him in, his scent, his warmth, him- sustenance
“Come now, Girl, you know of my desire for you, it is like a thirst I cannot quench. A hunger I cannot satisfy, despite my dark moods, despite my sour face, you are a source of joy and pleasure I have not known in some time.” His hand brought your face up, his gaze burned into yours and his words affected you so that tears welled in your eyes. He wiped them away, and the tenderness was too much, a sob clawed its way out from your throat. All of the worry, all of the fear that he might have left you alone in the world, to be sold to another bubbled up and he held you as you cried.
“Do you wish to be free of me? Is that why you cry?” Something in his voice broke your heart.
“No Dominus, no-“ you wiped at your eyes, moving to look him in the eye and the expression you saw in them was almost too much to bear. “I have never been so happy in all my life, I have never felt about anyone, the way I feel for you.” You pressed your lips to his, petal-soft. 
“Sometimes, the things I feel for you are almost too big for my body, I want to be with you always, I want to feel you always. I feared so much while you were gone that I could barely eat, barely sleep-” Your words were frantic, so many things to get out that you could barely speak and he pulled you close, shushing you softly. 
“My heart swells to hear you speak this way.” He reached down, sliding his hand towards the hinge in your knee, to pull it over his thigh. “Peace, let us just enjoy the silence.” You nodded into his neck, letting go of a great breath in your lungs. 
“If I was myself, and whole, I would be pulling every ounce of pleasure from you now.” 
You laughed at the annoyance in his tone.
“Soon enough Dominus, I would have you healthy and healed.” Your hand slid up the smooth expanse of his chest, threading through the curls at the base of his skull. “Once your wound has healed, you may have me any way you please.” 
“Any way?” His tone darkened, and your body responded, thighs clenching, heart racing, nipples hardening. “Any way I please? And what if I want you for a day and a night? What if I want you wet and spread for me in this bed until you’re so full of my gift it spills all over my linens?” The hand that had been softly stroking your back moved down and grabbed at your backside, pulling until the lips of your sex spread open. 
A moan slipped out at the feel of his hands, and he all but growled. 
“Do not make those noises Girl, not when I cannot fuck you how I wish to.” He pulled your face up, licking into your mouth with a hunger you could not satisfy, not in his current state. 
“Dominus, I beg of you not to taunt me, not when we cannot indulge.” You kissed him again, despite your words and finally he pulled away, the tremble of frustration in his grip. You shifted, and felt his manhood press against your thigh, the sight of him, leaking and hard against his belly made you sigh. 
“Do not concern yourself with that, I am ravenous for you, but my body cannot fulfill the wishes of my cock. Go and fetch something to break our fast. I will need you to change my dressing as well, if you could.” He sent you off with a kiss, and with desire dripping onto your thighs. 
“Yes Dominus.” You smiled, and rushed off to do what needed to be done. 
-
Weeks passed, and he healed beautifully. His wound knit together cleanly and with that, his strength came back. More often than not he stood and cleansed without your help, he left the safety of his bed and his chambers and sported a genuine smile as he made his rounds through his house.
You trailed behind him, your own smile in place to see him coming back into himself. 
Things were different. He was different. 
He spoke more, that was for one. Before he would keep his own council, his words were curt and his thoughts would be kept close to his chest. Some nights he reverted to his silence, but it had grown into something peaceful, something comfortable.
The biggest change though, was his attitude towards you. 
For one, he refused to sleep alone. The darkness of night found you tending to his needs and after the candles had been snuffed- he pulled your tunic off and pulled you into his bed, into his arms. 
At first, you thought it was his injury, a fear that he might suffer some setback in his sleep, but as the days passed on and he was well past the point of danger, he still refused to let you go. 
His desire had come back too, much quicker than his body could handle. Mornings would find you in the cage of his arms, with his lust pressed hard and hot at the cleft of your ass. You would pull away so as not to tease him, and he would let you at first, but as his body caught up to him, he stopped letting you pull away. 
Most mornings, he’d whisper how much he missed burying himself inside you, how he couldn’t wait to gift you with his seed while slipping his fingers between your legs and swirling them around your clit, only stopping after you’d fluttered around his fingers. Then he’d send you off to fetch food with a smile on your face and an ever-growing ache between your thighs. 
A part of you fretted as to why he hadn’t taken you yet, as the days passed it was clear that he was well enough to indulge. Another part, a hopeful, possibly quite foolish part of you thought maybe he was waiting for you to ask him. That couldn’t be, could it? You ruminated on your previous encounters, yes–he’d called you forth to warm his bed, but with every recalled memory it was clear that in his own way, he'd let you decide whether to push things or not. A luxury you knew was rare. It was an intoxicating thought though, to think that you could decide when and what you wanted him to do.
So many possibilities. 
When night came, you brought him his meal, and his wine and tried to keep the tremble of excitement out of your hands. You watched him move about his chambers, his strength back to normal as he dipped his hands into the fresh water in his basin. His hair had grown out a little, dark with silver mixed through and that thought struck you again, that he was some beautiful marble statue come to life. An emperor of old, standing before you in all his glory. 
“Dominus-” You called to him, unable to hold back any longer. His eyes raised, finding you as he dried his hands. 
“Before you take your meal, I would ask something of you.” Your voice shook, never had you openly asked him for anything before. He raised his eyebrows, more surprised than anything.
“What would you have of me Girl?” He moved towards you, eyes curious. 
“I would have you–” You stopped him, guiding him to sit on his bed, “I would have you sit here, and accept my mouth.” 
You kneeled before him, staring up at him with your lip caught between your teeth. Your hands landed on his knees, sliding up to pull his tunic up to expose his manhood. For a moment, he stared at you with wide, surprised eyes. 
“I have missed our times together, I have missed you filling me of a night and as much as I treasure your fingers in the morning, I would have you feel pleasure at my hand–or, my mouth.” He did not stop you from exposing him and heat flooded your body to see how quickly his cock responded to your words, to the soft exploration of your hand. 
“You would do this?” His palm landed on your shoulder, sliding up to cup your cheek. “You have no obligation, I would not command you to do this should you not want to.” You spit onto your palm and grasped him in hand and despite his words, he shudderred to feel the way you stroked him. 
“I dream about this Dominus, I desire you so deeply that I ache for you–” You opened your mouth and took the blunt tip of him into your mouth. He moaned, slack-jawed at the sight of you. You placed open mouthed kisses at the tip, and the sensitive underside, stroking at the base of him. His thighs spread, making room for you and you relished the warm strength of them under your arms. 
He tasted like the ocean. 
“God’s above Girl-” You pulled away, smiling as you continued to stroke him, he barely fit in the palm of your hand and with his passion dribbling out and your spit the sounds were loud and slick. Your own arousal unspooled between your legs, the ache intensifying as he tensed underneath you, hissing when you pressed soft kisses to the scar at his side, to the softness of his belly, to the firm golden thighs bracketing you to his hips. 
“Open your mouth.” His confidence resurfaced, and then his hand wrapped around yours, guiding you to stroke him the way he liked. He guided the reddened tip into your mouth. “Look at me when you take me in your mouth, open wide, I want to touch your throat.” You moaned around him, taking him deeper, breathing through your nose in an attempt to stay calm. 
“That’s it Girl, Gods be damned-” His tone was filthy as he held you there, eyes watering until you pulled away, sputtering and messy. 
“If you continue, I will spill in your mouth.” he guided your hand still, slowly stroking himself against your lips, smearing your spit and his salty arousal onto your lips. Never in your life have you felt that powerful, that beautiful, with tears spilling down your face and slick dripping down your thighs. He held himself suspended in his pleasure, awaiting your word. 
“Would you like to spill in my mouth Dominus? Or would you like to fill my cunt?” You held out your tongue, letting him rub the tip of himself against it while he decided. Your heart soared to see the conflict on his face. 
“I would fill your cunt, I have missed it terribly.” You smiled and rose with a final kiss to his cock and once you did, he ripped the tunic off your body. The loud tear of it made you squeal with a mix of shock and excitement. 
“I promise you, I will not last.” He all but tossed you onto his bed, spreading your legs wide for his gaze. “Greedy little cunt, so wet for me.” He spoke in a daze, staring at the place that ached at the mere thought of him. He slipped down and it’s with a shock that you watched him dip down to spear into you with his tongue. Never had anyone used their mouth on you and the sight of it was almost too much to bear.
It’s with a greedy, filthy groan that his lips dragged up to latch around the pert little pearl of you, his tongue stroking, stroking, stroking while his mouth suctioned around it. Your body was a taut string, legs shaking under the strong grip of his hands, holding you to him tight enough to hurt. Your breathing came in pants, the climax was already there, balancing on a knife's edge, so close you could almost taste it.
His hands moved, sliding up to pinch at your nipples and the wave crested. Your hands gripped into his curls, both holding him close, and desperately pushing him away while you fluttered into his mouth. 
You felt the strong muscle of his tongue slide down, drinking you from the source. 
He made his way back up, your slick shining on his face and on his whiskers. You’re almost too shocked, and too shy to look into his eyes. 
“I confess, I have wanted to do that for a long time.” He pulled his tunic up and off as you lay under him, boneless. “I know it’s not something commonly done, but I enjoy it. Did you enjoy it? I felt you flutter.” He raised your leg, wrapping it around his hip while his cock slipped inside you without any resistance. You let out a relieved sigh, finally, he was home. 
“Yes Dominus–” You almost whispered, half-shy as he dropped down, his arms holding himself up on either side of your skull. “No one has ever–Oh–” He snapped his hips hard, unable to hold himself back and already, the need built in your core, robbing you of any coherent thoughts. 
“No one but me ever will.” He kissed you, making you taste yourself and it was so perverse, so exhilarating you held him close, wrapping your arms and legs around him to feel as much of him as you could. His cock pushed and pulled, hitting that special place he owned and with a handful of thrusts, and a punched out groan he filled you with his gift. Finally. 
He watched himself pull out of the mess he'd made, watched in silence as his gift dripped out and onto his linens. 
Things felt different this time, there’s a vulnerability, an intimacy that is almost overwhelming. You pulled his face up, and pressed your lips to his softly, praying that you conveyed the feelings swirling in your chest. He kissed you back, his hand gliding up to wrap around your neck. When you opened your eyes, his brow was furrowed, the same feelings shining back at you through his dark eyes. 
Seconds passed, and the feeling did not disperse. Before he would have sent you away, but he held you close. Wordlessly he pressed his lips to yours over and over, he stroked at your skin, your shoulder and your thigh high on his ribs, your breast, your lips. He moved off, and went about dampening a cloth to clean himself off of you. Once he was done, he brought the food you’d served him and fed you from his own hand. 
You accepted the food, smiling shyly as he watched you, something like affection, like love shining out through his eyes. 
“Thank you Dominus–” He shook his head, a small frown at your words. 
“Call me Marcus.”
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dixidin · 11 months
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The fact that we got the mf who saved Childe when he was in the abyss BEFORE Sandrone...... Sandrone lovers we are not making it outta this one are we?
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sluttyten · 1 year
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In addition to just not wanting to get up and go to work today I have a headache and feel like I didn’t get any sleep last night
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ariaxmu · 14 days
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cancellations
summary: theo keeps cancelling your dates, and you think it's because he isn't interested anymore. however..
warning: anxious!theo, theo has a mini panic attack, reader helps calm him down.
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a month. that is how long it's been. an entire month.
a month ago, theo and i both desperately, and drunkenly, confessed our feelings for each other, after months of pining and flirting. it was truly the best night of my life. he asked me on a date, it was all planned perfectly, but it never happened.
he cancelled the first one, saying he was sick and couldn't make it. i saw him the following morning with his friends, looking perfectly fine, but i thought maybe he just took some potions and was feeling better. he apologized profusely, and we rescheduled. so i did not see this as a red flag, but now i'm not so sure.
the second time, the week after, he cancelled again. blamed it on the boys had thrown some impromptu party for blaise as his birthday was a couple of days after and they didn't realize. so i told him it was okay, we could reschedule, and that was that. he didn't even invite me to the party. and then, reluctantly we rescheduled again.
then he started ignoring me more around the school, and in classes. it's like he was avoiding me like the plague. everyday, i just prayed he would come up to me, apologize for everything and make time for me. but that day never came.
which leads us up to today. our date was supposed to be tonight, but as i stare down at the letter in my hands with watery eyes, i'm let down... again. i glance over at the slytherin table, i notice him almost hiding from me as his friends look over apologetically.
''hi, need to reschedule again. something came up - t.n <3''
i feel frustration bubble up in my chest as i read the pathetic note. i'm not one to usually get angry, but this is beyond hurtful and embarrassing. i'm tired of defending him to my friends, i'm tired of having my hopes crushed. i'm just tired.
i wipe a stray tear from my eye as my friends look at me, sympathetically. i sniffle, why can't i just be the girl someone chooses for once.
i grab my quill, quickly writing a response to his note, scoffing because he couldn't even tell me in person.
''don't reschedule this time. tired of being let down. thanks for wasting my time. - y/n.''
i stand up, hot tears still in my eyes as i walk over to the slytherin table, theo's eyes widening and cheeks bright red as i walk over. i put the note down in front of him, angrily, before walking away and out of the great hall. the dam breaks as i sob into my hands, rushing back to my dorm room to hide.
--third person--
theo quickly grabs the note, his heart and stomach dropping as he reads the words. ''shit... shit!'' he exclaimed, worriedly rubbing a hand over his face. he throws the note to his friends, as they all read it and cringe.
''damn.. you really messed this up, huh?'' mattheo mumbles out.
''yeah no shit'' theo groans.
''man you should have just told her from the start, she is kind, she would have understood'' draco says, patting theo's back.
''and what would i say? oh hi love of my life, i'm going to cancel on every one of our dates because i'm too anxious and shy?'' he scoffs.
''not exactly, but essentially yeah. she would've helped you'' draco says with a soft sigh.
''what am i supposed to do now? i can't lose her, you all know how i feel about her'' theo sighs.
''you need to explain to her why you cancelled so many times. just be honest, tell her you have anxiety and this stuff makes you freak out.'' enzo says, ''if you don't you're going to lose her.''
''what if it's too late?'' theo gulps.
''go there now. only one way to find out'' mattheo nods. theo takes a deep breath in, standing up and rushing out of the great hall. his hands shaking, palms sweating as he tried to keep himself calm.
this is what happens every time he is near y/n. he stumbles on his words, feels light headed, sweats and shakes. it's not something he has truly ever experienced before, having feelings this strong for someone. but he knows it's something he can't let his anxiety get in the way of.
--back to normal--
i cry into my pillow, feeling utterly humiliated. i have never liked someone as much as i like him, and i thought he felt the same. but clearly not.
my head snaps up as i hear a knock on my door, and i quickly hop up thinking it would be one of my friends coming to comfort me. i wipe my eyes, opening the door, heart dropping when i see theo there.
''h-hi'' he stutters out. he looks flushed, breathing ragged as he stands there.
''hi..'' i sniffle. ''what do you want?''
''i came here to uh, explain myself. can i c-come in?'' he gulped.
i nod once, feeling defeated. he walks in, sitting on the end of my bed. ''sit with me'' he takes in a deep breath.
''look, if you're just here to tell me that you don't like me anymore, or that you found someone else then just leave. i don't need to hear it'' i say, tears welling up in my eyes again just at the thought.
''n-no! it's neither of those things. my feelings for you haven't changed from the moment i met you'' he says, a little on edge but softly.
''then what is it?'' i say, confused as i sit beside him.
he shakes his head for a moment, his face going more red, breathing sounding shaky and irregular, body shaking slightly. i furrow my brows, becoming a little worred.
''are you okay? theo?'' i say, grabbing one of his hands with mine gently.
''i-i just get like this sometimes, no big deal'' he gulps, barely getting his words out through his fast breathing.
''no big deal? theo i think you're having a panic attack'' i say, standing up so i can kneel in front of him, grabbing both of his hands in mine.
''i-i can't breathe'' he choked out, breathing getting faster by the minute.
''you need to take slower breaths, theo. look at me, breathe with me'' i say as gently and as calm as i could.
''n-no i can't'' he coughs, only making the breathing worse. i look into his eyes, noticing them watering with tears, one trickling down his red cheek. hair sticking to his forehead, i am frantic as i try to think of something to help because the breathing exercises aren't.
i furrow my eyebrows, thinking of anyway i can stall his breathing without making him worse. then i get an idea.
''forgive me for this, theo, just trust me'' i say softly, before i lean up and press my lips onto his. his eyes widen for a moment, my kiss stopping his frantic breathing as he looks at me extremely shocked.
and after a moment, i feel him breathing softly through his nose, watching his eyes flutter and close, and he kisses me back. i keep my hands locked with his as we kiss, the shaking stopping as they grip mine.
and after a while, he pulls back, taking one deep breath in, and out. he locks eyes with me as i look at him with rosy cheeks.
''are you feeling okay?'' i say softly.
''yeah... thankyou'' he gulps. ''how'd you do that?'' he breathes out.
''well.. i know to help a panic attack you need to slow the breathing so um.. when i kissed you, it slowed it down'' i say, nervously.
''woah. like magic..'' he says, nodding his head as his body finally relaxes.
''this is why i have been cancelling on you. because- i have been terrified that if we go somewhere or- if i'm just with you then i'll get like this, and i didn't want to embarrass you or make you like me less..'' he explains.
''theo.. that would never happen. i've been crazy about you for ages now, your anxiety will never change that. a-and if we went somewhere and you felt this way then i'd take you somewhere quiet and try to help you. you know that'' i whisper, moving his hair from his forehead. ''i just want to be with you, is all. i want to be the person you do come to about these things'' i explain softly.
he nods his head, smiling softly. 'i'm so sorry about the past month, it's been tough. i want to make it up to you'' he says, pulling me back up to sit beside him. ''i was so anxious but- now i'm here with you i have no idea why i was...'' he mumbles, pressing his lips onto mine for a split second, a gently peck ghosting my lips.
''date is back on for tonight. i'll meet you by the great hall at 7, okay?'' he says, smiling at me as my face lights up. i nod quickly.
''and if you feel anxious before then, come here and i can use my magic powers again'' i giggle, as he walks towards the door.
''even if i don't i will still be coming back here for that'' he winks as he leaves the room.
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idanceuntilidie · 10 months
Note
What about yandere prince over his favorite knight? Male reader ofc :)
I am done I deserve mac n cheese and almonds
Hope this was okay.
Yandere Prince x male reader
tw: yandere themes and being held against will
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You were assigned to prince Charlie since you were little, so naturally you were very protective of him.
You two shared a very special bond of course, two best friends since childhood.
But for prince Charlie, it was oh, so much more. At first he didn’t understand it, you were there more often than not.
He remembers how often you clinged to him when you two were younger. You were supposed to be the one protecting him, he didn’t mind that.
As you two grew older, you got braver and stronger. You even spend less time with him. He noticed something was wrong with him.
An unknown feeling blossomed in his chest.
And you made it so much stronger.
It’s not really like you did anything special, you just,
existed.
He started to appreciate your existence more. How when you smiled your cheeks were dusted by pinkish colour and your eyes twinkled with such a happy flame.
How you wielded your sword and how brave you were.
He watched you, heart longing for you. For your little touches, your laughs.
Oh how he wishes you two were kids again, he would protect you from danger and you would cling to him and never let go.
You were so far away but at the same time so close. After a while, just watching wasn’t enough, he needed you back and he would do everything to make it happen.
You noticed a slight change in your environment.
It started small, maids, servants and other knights started to ignore you. They shook when they saw you and ran away.
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You weren’t a violent person, so you didn’t understand what was wrong.
It hurt slightly, but you can’t just go around crying. You were a royal knight after all.
Then Prince Charlie requested you must be near him at all times, you expected that since you were his personal knight,
no more strolls through the castle and gardens. No more training. You can’t leave him, not even to eat or sleep.
You feared the last one. You feared you might grow weak, but you can’t let your prince that so you stayed silent.
You didn’t dare to eat, drink or sleep in his presence, much to his dismay. You thought it was disrespectful to even do these things in his presence, EVEN if you two knew each other all your lives.
After some time your body could in fact, not take it anymore so you fainted.
You woke up not long after, laying on the comfiest bed you had ever felt. Stripped from your armour and chained to the bed. Your first thought was that someone broke in and hurt your prince, naturally, you began to struggle. Your body was weak due to the lack of food or sleep.
You didn’t notice your Prince walking cheerfully through the door.
“Oh you are up, how wonderful”
He chirped happily. Your tired eyes followed his figure.
“Your.. highness? What is the meaning of this?”
You asked, voice raspy. Swallowing hurt so much.
“Oh you had fainted my dear knight”
he hummed as he placed something on the table. You tried to move your arms, you felt weak. Chains only rattled quietly because of your movement, it caught Charlies attention.
“Don’t you dare to move y/n”
“Just, just take me to the doctor I will be fine in few days and-“
His pale face turned cherry red in anger.
“No! You are only allowed to see me, only me! I AM taking care of you now!”
His voice boomed loudly in your ears. You winced.
He turned away from you, trying to calm down, then took something from the table, a plate. Charlie walked to the bed, and placed the plate on a nightstand, so he could uncuff your hands.
Your body felt weak, you let him sit you up.
“Now, let me feed you yeah? You must be oh so hungry, and then we can spend some time together.”
he smiled, you were too weak to argue so he took your silence as an agreement. You prayed silently that this was just a dream.
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Krueger and Nikto sent on leave, arriving home later than expected to their lover who fell asleep at the table waiting for them?
KxNxR
❤️
"SCHEIẞE! THE FUCKING TRAFFIC WAS SO-"
Oh.
You were asleep. On the couch. You were waiting for them. Krueger immediately shut up, signaling the same for the shadow at the door. Almost biting his tongue from the whiplash, teeth slamming shut loudly. Some form of guilt quickly awakening as he realized how harshly he opened the door, practically kicking it down. The shadow peeking over his shoulder.
"We better be quiet, they look...uneasy."
"Nightmare? Let's get cleaned up quickly."
Ushering to each other as Krueger quickly picks you up. Carefully and slowly fitting his hands below your knees, one to your upper back. Lifting you up the stairs, making sure your feet don't dangle and swing. Silently shushing you whenever you mumble in your sleep.
"They must be pretty exhausted to be having a nightmare, fuck. Blame it on the traffic."
"They waited for us."
"Of course they would, fucking self sacrificial bitch. Sigh. Hopefully their thoughts will quiet down once we settle."
Krueger made sure you didn't wake up as he kneeled on the bed. Slowly shuffling to the center as he lowered you there. A messy, untidy bed. They really couldn't blame you, it was nearing the morning than it was night.
Thankfully they had already somewhat unbuckled the gear they wore, mid traffic, mostly due to how uncomfortable it was to sit in that. In a leather chair. Almost cringing at the rattle of plastic and metal together. Loud, very loud.
Praying to whatever god was out there as they looked back to you. Only letting themselves breathe again as they saw no movement from your sleeping body.
"Fucking dumbass."
"Ich wille ficken dich. Ach- we smell like shit."
Rank was the word they would use to describe the smell as they both practically speed walked into the shower, slightly gagging at each other's scent. Far too lazy to give each other any form of privacy as they showered together. And each other.
"You fucking like it when I scratch here?"
"Ja, a bit rougher."
"dog."
"Says the one that likes their back scratched."
"I have back pains, you cunt."
"Old."
Purely mentally exhausted as they exit the shower. Partially air drying and halfway using the towel as they resist the urge to jump back into bed. Only stopped mid air by Nikto's hand as he carried the other man hip by hip like a bag.
"You're going to wake them."
"Release me, I need to hold mein Liebe now."
"Oh am I not your love anymore?"
"I am going to claw at you."
A weird messy cuddle pile formed at the end of their bickering. Comfortably situating you under their heavy fat ass bodies, practically indenting you into the bed as they snore the night away. And day. Don't think you can escape when these heavy cunts are pressing you against each other so tightly it's like they want to press you into a log.
××××××××××××××××××××××x x××××××××××××××××××××××
Ps: there will be a dent in the bed from how heavy these fucked are. Also yes they sleep naked. They're tired. And their skin leaves red marks against yours because they're just heavy cunts.
Masterlist
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Glamour Witch 🕯
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A guide to confidence, beauty, & self love 🪞🩰🦢🍒💌
How I made glamour magick efficient for me and why working with the goddess Aphrodite shifted my self concept + help me connect to the divine feminine 🕊
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First let's do a back story on my relationship with my matron 🌸:
My spiritual awakening happened when I was 17 years old after experiencing the loss of a loved one and coping with past trauma. I went into my adolescence with fear, agony, and poor self esteem. I was very much so a tomboy as a teenager (to this day I still have masculine qualities that I am now proud of and balanced it with my feminine side) but I was so out of touch with what being a "girl" was. I felt really self conscious about not being "woman" enough and had a complicated view on my gender (since I realized I was nonbinary at 14). I became interested in the occult since I grew up in a spiritual household (crystals, manifestation, etc) but never really got to engage with things like tarot or witchcraft because it was considered taboo. I had a reading done one day and I was told that Aphrodite wanted to work with me as my deity. My teenage self was confused by this because I thought - "The goddess of beauty and love wanted to work with me? Well that can't be right." I was expecting something more dark or cool like Hades or Hermes or whatever because that was just my personal style since I dressed very alternatively. I was nervous, but also intrigued. As I begun to pray to her and started doing spellwork - I felt safe, I felt loved, it was like a mother watching over me. I started learning how to do makeup for my ethnic features and became more educated about fashion and what it means to really be a true feminist. I learned to say fuck the binary system and made my own definition of not what just being a "woman" is but also what being "feminine" meant to me, period. You can be whatever you want to be and be beautiful regardless of what your appearance is like. Some days I want to wear snapbacks and sneakers, other times I wanna wear high heels with a flattering dress. I do what makes me feel comfortable and that's nobody's business but mine. Society made us believe that being sensitive, caring, or intuitive - the traits of the divine feminine (which we have in us all) as bad when it's not. There's strength in being soft and delicate. Be gentle towards yourself, my loves.
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Embrace your shadow self to manifest your dream life ✨️:
You know what people will never tell you or admit to you on social media? Is that you can be self conscious and still be confident at the same time. Confidence is just being comfortable with yourself and knowing despite what you've been through or are feeling in the moment, it should not hold you back from achieving your fullest potential. Like Megan Thee Stallion said "Bad bitches have bad days too" And it's true! I have my good days and then I have my bad days, but even when I'm doubting or losing my faith, I always get back up by keep going. Why? It's because if I stop then I'm not living. I'm not being grateful for the life I still have while there are people out there battling severe illnesses and don't have much time left. Nobody wants to be candid and only want to portray themselves as perfect, when nobody is. It's a damaging narrative to think you have to be popping on social media and always staying positive. I don't know why being vulnerable is such a stigma these days. Everyone is scared of being hurt, sure, but there is so much power in knowing what you makes you happy and being able to voice what your wants/needs are. You get to live for yourself and not what others want you to be. Not to mention the importance of having the power and ability to set the boundaries your inner child probably never got to have?! I'm so tired of people spreading the belief of that you shouldn't talk about mental health, trauma, or personal fears because it makes you seem "weak" or "easy prey". That is the same tactics abusers use to make their victims stay hushed and makes them not able to stand up for themselves. That way of thinking is victim blaming! If you as a person, feel brave enough to discuss what the fuck is going on in your mind that does not make you a weakling, that makes you strong as hell. They are the weak ones for taking advantage of people who were already suffering. It's time to forgive yourself for your past mistakes and acknowledge what happened, but do not let it control you. You don't have to let go or get over it, it's okay if it's still a wound for you but you can choose to make it better by creating a better future by working with your higher self. Think about who you want to be, how you want to appear, what career you aspire to have, etc. Either write it down, visualize, or make a vision board. Release the old version of you and thank them for helping you survive.
I have been reading the book Mirror Work by Louise Hay and it entails about how the negative things people said or the difficult experiences we had dealt with in our lifetime gets stored in our subconscious mind. When we make jokes that are self depreciating or engage in self degrading behavior, it harms us even more, preventing us from maturing or loving ourselves. Doing shadow work is uncomfortable for everyone but it is a must to process the patterns in your life and learn as to why you become the person you are today. Being aware of your triggers and what makes you tick. Can make you more emotionally intelligent and be able to have a healthier conversation as well as creating lasting positive connections.
Books I recommend for subconscious reprogramming, shadow work, & healing from trauma:
Mirror Work by Louise Hay
"The Courage to" book series by Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga
Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend
The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle
The Self Confidence Workbook by Barbara Markway & Celia Ampel
Psychology of The Unconscious by Dr. Carl Jung
It Didn't Start With You by Mark Wolynn
You can also find shadow work prompts on pinterest.
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Don't just say it, do it! 11 ways to actually practice self care:
Making a goal and actually putting the effort in can be tough for some individuals, especially for those diagnosed with depression. That's why it's important to be patient with yourself and understand that healing is a journey, not a race! A youtuber I have been enjoying and watching lately is the critically acclaimed, thewizardliz: An Iranian woman who gives advice on confidence, discipline, and more! A video that I watched of hers recently was called and bluntly titled: "How to stop being lazy & pathetic". In most of liz's videos she is someone who is tough but is also tender. She explains that when we are procrastinating it's because we are thinking of just the end goal, which scares us and makes us overthink about what to do or how to do it. When really, we can just take small, simple steps at a time to reach towards what we wish to accomplish, so that way it will feel less intimidating. If you have a essay that's due for example, try to write a few sentences each day, or think about how good it would feel if you were to get a good grade on your paper. Think of it this way - Would you rather slack and be upset you failed? Or would you rather prevent that from happening so you can be proud of what you achieved? Figure out what motivates you as a person and write it down so you can always be reminded of the confident being you wish to become.
Journaling: This is such a crucial hobby that I believe everyone should have. Writing down your thoughts or feelings helps not only increases your intelligence and brain health, but it also helps navigate your feelings better when you are facing a problem. You are able to reflect inward and discover the different parts of your psyche that you never knew you had.
Art: Divine feminine energy embodies the source of creation and life. The same way people with wombs give birth to children, an artist's project can be their beautiful baby. Find what type of art form brings you peace and allows you to express yourself (poetry, songwriting, dancing, painting, woodcarving, etc).
Exercise: I know this is something that some people struggle with (me included 💀) and when people hear that it's like "Ugh, I don't wanna work out! It's too hard!" but just hear me out okay? We have to exercise so our internal organs can stay healthy. When we don't take care of ourselves by not at least taking 15 minutes out of our day by walking, exercising, or cardio, when there is 24 hours in a day... That is a major neglect to yourself. Just remember that it is a privilege that you still have the ability to move, jump, lift, run, squat, and even more. When there are people who suffer from chronic pain and disabilities that are still making sure to take care of their physical health because they have no other choice. When you think about how you're too "lazy" and you can't do it because of your "laziness", think of those people! Cherish the health that you have before it's too late. You can start by stretching, going for walks, or watching workout videos for beginners on YouTube.
Build a schedule: Having a routine is so important because it helps reduce stress and organizes the task that we have to do throughout our day. Make a sleep schedule for yourself as well. Going to bed late until 3 am in the morning or waking up too early is unsafe and makes you less alert when you are out in the world. So please be careful! Try to at least get 6 hours of sleep a day. Drinking tea, taking a warm bath, or using essential oils can help you fall asleep if you don't like using melatonin.
Cleanliness & Hygiene: It's unfortunate that I have to say this but some people were not taught by their parents on how to be clean. Or how cishet men feel that being hygienic is "gay". That's absurd! Everyone should have a clean house, clean body, and a good hygiene routine. There is no excuse for that. Even when I was depressed I still would get up to brush my teeth or wash my hair because I knew that if I were to ever go too long without taking care of my hygiene I'd have to deal with damaging my teeth, hair, or skin. Everything has a cause and effect when you neglect doing self care and that could also be apart of the reason why you feel so down about your looks is due to that lack of poor hygiene. It doesn't have to be anything extravagant and you don’t need to do a 10 step skincare routine all the time. You can buy beauty products for cheap at off price retail stores and can get combs, toothbrushes, etc, at the dollar store. All you gotta do is wash your face and shower daily (scrub in between your ass cheeks, please and thank you 💀), brush your teeth at least 3 or more times a day, moisturize with lotions, use a sunscreen (cus nobody got time for skin cancer), apply deodorant, and that's literally it. You can use toners, serums, and skin treatments if you feel like it but that’s not neccessary unless you have specific concerns (acne, wrinkles, etc).
Personal finance 💵: As a Capricorn ♑️, there is nothing more important to me than having my own money. Knowing how to budget and being responsible with your funds is so crucial. You can manifest prosperity and be wealthy, but if you don't know what to do with a million dollars, how could you ever receive it? It is so attractive when someone is wise with their money. I took elective classes in high school for commercial art, marketing, and personal finance so that way I could learn to how to be independent as an adult and not have to "hustle" or live the struggle life. Always take care of your household bills (utilities, repairs, gas for the car, etc.) first and then leave a certain amount for yourself for when you want to have fun, go shopping, etc. Learn about how to make an investment, as well as stocks, because that is another way that you can make a lot of money (and no I don't mean Crypto or NFTs 😭)
Education is key 📚: READ HEAUXS REEEEAD 👓 Make those sapiosexuals quiver with your big sexy brain 🧠. I just feel like in general we need to be knowledgeable about our history and *Jaden Smith voice* the political state of the world right now. Being dismissive and ignorant is a major turn off. You have to be able to know how to communicate in certain settings or talk about certain subjects, or else you're gonna just look and sound dumb. I don't care if you like to read about insects or flowers, just find a topic that interests you.
Boundaries: A simple way to start implementing self care into your daily routine is by being able to say "Yes." Or "No." I know for women it is hard to assert themselves and say no especially when there is a grimy ass man tryna flirt with you (ayoooo shawty 🤓), but for your own protection you gotta do it. When people know you are not stern and you are not able to defend yourself, they take advantage of that. It makes you an easy target. Let's say for a example, you have a overbearing parent that constantly drains and takes from your energy. This parent doesn't respect you and makes you feel bad about yourself because you let them. When they ask you for something, you can just say; "Thank you but I will not be doing that. It would be an inconvenience for me right now because I have to focus on ___" or "I would prefer not to do that because I have to do ___ this week and it's very important". Even if it's not anything actually important, still say no. Another example is if you have a friend that's toxic and is not elevating you in any type of way (mentally, emotionally, or finacially). Then tell them that and cut them off. You are not obligated to stay around anyone who brings you down. Here is a list of ways to set boundaries professionally. Also learn to stop over apologizing here is what you can do instead. Margot Robbie learned to say "Thank you" instead of saying "sorry" because of Barbie.
Meditation 🧘🏽‍♀️: A useful skill in embracing your thoughts, whether they are positive or negative, to help in finding your inner zen. Meditation was something that was tricky for me at first. Most people say to "empty your mind and be still" when meditating and for someone with ADHD, I was like... "Umm, this is boring 💀???" but overtime I tried it a few times again and have grown to appreciate it! I learned that meditation was actually quite helpful for me, especially when I felt burdened with too many tasks, or was dealing racing thoughts. It just really helped me calm down, especially when I was feeling overwhelmed (for people who experience sensory overloads I highly recommend!). I no longer feel ashamed or fearful of when a intrusive thought crosses my mind. I just simply let that thought pass through and go on about my day. The average young adult has over 6,000 thoughts a day, so why would I give something so meaningless power? I am in control of myself and what I react to. For this, it will allow you to do the same.
Spend time with a loved one: I'm sure we all have someone who we consider our comfort person or a special pet that makes us feel calm. Humans are animals, sometimes we need that social interaction to stay sane during troubling times. Make a phone call, text, or plan to meet up with a friend or family member this week. Maybe even step out of your comfort zone and ask an acquaintance out for lunch.
Be brave: Remember what I said about stepping out of your comfort zone? That's right. It's time to stop living a life of regrets and live a life of excitement. I want you to think about something you've been really wanting to do lately but haven't pursued it yet because of fear, doubt, or limiting beliefs. Take a deep breath and release it to the universe, your spirit guides, or any deity that you worship. Maybe there is a person you have a crush that you have been wanting to ask out lately or have been wanting to dye your hair a new color but were afraid of how it would turn out. Whatever it is, just have courage to go after what you want for once. For being brave is just about taking a leap of faith, even when you are scared.
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How to awaken your inner goddess ✨️:
Loving yourself shouldn't be a chore, it should be a ritual baby 😌! Now for my beginner witches or practioners in closed practices. I know it can be intimidating to start doing deity work. That's why you have to take things slow and go at your own pace. I always recommend starting with doing a cleansing (burning incense, spraying florida water, etc) or a protection spell before doing any other kind of magick. Even though yes, I do worship Aphrodite, it is not neccessary for people to only go to her for a "glow up". There are sooooo many deities who are also gods or goddesses of love, beauty, etc. Naturally, a deity will show you signs that they wish to work with you, so makw sure to be on the look out for that!
Also if you are a woman of color like mwuahhh 😘 then here are a list of deities that also represent love, confidence, beauty, fertility, & creativity in African, Asian, Indigenous, & Pacific Islander religions:
Oshun (closed practice / Yoruba)
Yenaya (closed practice / Yoruba)
Hathor
Bastet
Isis
Astarte
Rati (Hinduism)
Lakshimi (Hinduism)
弁才天 / Benzaiten (Japanese Buddhism)
자청비 / Jacheongbi
仰阿莎 / Yang Asha
Liễu Hạnh
Mayari
Laka
Xochiquetzal
Estsanatlehi
Other deities are:
Apollo, Cupid, Eros, Priapus, Min, Brigid, & Dionyus
There is also ascended masters, saints, archangels, ancestors, & spirit guides that you can connect with. I recommend building a relationship with your ancestors first.
How to talk your deity:
Create an altar for them or a sacred space.
Cleanse the area to avoid interacting with trickster spirits.
Place offerings on the table (make sure to look up what offerings they like!).
Light a candle or burn incense for them.
Write them a letter or pray. You can ask them for help with your specific needs or just talk to them about your day or how you are currently feeling.
BE CONSISTENT! Deities are not one of your little friends, they are gods/goddesses. Show them respect by praying, including them in spellwork, and giving them offerings frequently (they are understanding if you cannot give them food or drinks all the time though if you cannot afford it).
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The final boss, The Enchantress 🔮❄️:
"SHADOW MONEY WIZARD GANGGG! We love casting spells 😈"
Alright, alright. I know you guys were reading all this thinking "Bitch where tf is the tutorial??? 😭" BUT WHAT I HAD TO SAY WAS IMPORTANT SO YOU CAN HAVE LONG TERM RESULTS 💀! Here is the moment you've all been waiting forrr 🤭!
101 on Glamour Magick:
The days of the week are connected to the planets.
Friday is a good day for casting love and beauty spells since it's ruler is Venus. While on Monday you can cast spells for healing & enhancing psychic powers, since it's ruler is the Moon. Thursday's ruler is Jupiter so you can cast spells for money and prosperity.
Buy a mirror that is for your special use only (If someone ends up accidently using it it's okay nothing bad will happen to them). Spray it with a window cleaner and wipe it down counter clockwise, say what your intention is for the mirror as you clean it. You can buy any kind of mirror you like (compact mirror, hand held mirror, desktop mirror, etc).
You can use your mirror for scrying or seeing into the future (divination).
When doing your mirror work, look into your eyes, and affirm to yourself. It can be anything you wish to say. Just let it flow naturally. It might feel uncomfortable at first but as you continue to practice it you will feel more confident about it.
Include your deity while affirming. (When I do this, I show appreciation to Aphrodite, and thank her for blessing me with such beauty and grace. Even when in the moment I don't have the results I wish to see, I know it is going to happen because I have faith in her.)
Ask your ancestors what their beauty rituals and regimes were. Doing routines that your ancestors did will create a closer bond with them and also build confidence in your ethnic features.
Items that are represented as love: roses, cinnamon, honey, sugar, vanilla, coriander, basil, chamomile, carnations, tulips, lockets, keys, & hearts
Items that are represented as beauty: cowrie shells, orchids, peony, ribbons, veils, & bows
Items that help enhance intuition: seashells, conch shells, rosemary, lotuses, & feathers
Chinese guashas & jade rollers help reduce stress, tension, and puffiness in your facial muscles. It can also help sculpt your face.
African waistbeads were worn by women under their clothes to help slim their waist and also attract love. Depending on the crystals used, it would also help manifest abundance.
Some beauty crystals used for love, beauty, & intuition are: Rose quartz, jade, pink tourmaline, moonstone, amethyst, selenite, garnet, carnelian, and turquoise.
You can carve sigils or symbols onto your candle, an easy one to use is the venus symbol ♀️.
A list of meanings for the scents of the candle, wax, or deodorizer in your home. Here is the list for incense.
Candles are great to seal your spell jars or use on their own for magick.
A list of different burning sticks you can use (smudging, white sage, and Palo Santo is a closed practice)
The scent of your perfume can be used for seduction or attracting love/popularity.
Soap, shampoo, or conditioner can be used to cleanse your energy.
Ingredients in foods, cleaning, haircare, skincare, or beauty products can have magical properties that you can attract towards you or your home. (I.E: Lavendar for peace & tranquility, Lemon for warding off negative energy, & Vanilla for love)
"The hair theory" trend is a form of glamour magick. Doing your hair differently can create a new persona and change how people perceive you.
Depending on your hair color it can represent the elements.
Your hair texture can symbolize what power you possess: Coily hair grows upward and rises towards the sun. When using their awareness, they are highly observant and courageous. Coily hair has the fire element. Curly hair breaks hexes and spiritually protects the mind. Due to it's volume and resemblance to a cloud, it has the air element. People with wavy hair are intuitive, affectionate, and sensitive, their element is water. Straight hair is the most connected to the earth. People with this hair texture can be introverted, dependable, and grounded.
Your hair length signifies your current state of energy.
Short hair is connected to father sky.
Long hair is connected to mother earth.
It is best to cut your hair when you are in need of releasing stress, anguish, and turmoil.
You can set your intentions into the hair that you braid.
Black people can cornrow patterns or symbols onto their scalp for manifestation.
Locs symbolize freedom and wisdom from the ancestors.
Twists can be used for spiritual binding.
Read here for more on hair witchcraft & hair astrology.
Wearing headscarves, hijabs, bonnets, durags, or hats can protect you from the evil eye or if you're an empath, it can protect your energy from being drained in public spaces.
Do not make any physical changes during a Venus retrograde.
Plastic surgery can alter one's identity. It is like putting on a different mask. It can become an addiction to people who feel lost in life. While for others it can give them a new path to start on.
You can paint sigils or symbols for nail art.
The nail shape you have or get done at a salon can correspond to Onychomancy (https://www.tiktok.com/@taisoleil/video/7035737221068082479?_t=8etXLhtR3LH&_r=1)
You can also use yours or other's eyebrows for divination.
Straight eyebrows: someone who is level headed. Round eyebrows: someone who is compassionate with a kind heart. Arched eyebrows: someone who is independent. Thick eyebrows: someone who can be stubborn and goal oriented. Thin eyebrows: someone who is bold and daring. No eyebrows: someone who is a risk taker and can be careless. The unibrow: symbolizes good luck, fertility, & serendipity.
Your eyelashes are for good luck (which is why people make a wish on fallen lashes, they are similar to dandelions).
Different lash styles can be used as a "barricade".
Manga/spiked lashes: makes you appear pure & innocent, can get away with stuff more. Fluffy lashes: depending on the thickness, it can resemble a spider, therefore can cause someone to have a intensive aura. Cat/hybrid lashes: Increase in clairvoyance, see past the 3D, and have the senses of a feline. Natural lashes: The gaze will be comforting and welcoming to others, they can see into your soul.
Your eye color can mean what powers you have for spells. Colored contacts can create a different outcome.
Glasses can be used for insight and enlightenment. While sunglasses or shades, can make you more mysterious/hide your identity.
For those with periods, cycle syncing can help with increasing productivity.
Depending on your body shape, weight, & features it could symbolize your status in society.
In ancient Greece, people who were voluptuous with plump bellies were seen as healthy & rich. It was a sign of being well fed and treated like royalty.
In Africa & Southeast Asia, long necks signify having dignity & elegance.
Being tall could be seen as powerful, while being short could be seen as delicate. If you are average height, you could be seen as harmonious.
Physiognomy is the method of using the face & body for divination. In China, it is a popular method for readings.
Moles, birthmarks, & skin tags are believed to be the sign of being a Witch.
Vitiligo can mean spiritual purification & finding beauty in your imperfections.
It has been said that freckles are kisses from the angels. These people themselves can be described as earth angels or have a closer connection with archangels.
The form of your freckles can symbolize different things. If they form in a straight line, it could mean you are a focused person. If they are scattered, you like to go with the flow in life. If your freckles come and go during the seasons, you like to experience change or excitement often in your life.
Freckles & beauty marks overall show signs of a person having a unique character.
The clothing you wear can have a mystical effect.
Baggy/layered clothing: spiritually protective. Revealing clothing: free spirited & alluring. Patterned clothing: Makes you illusive or hard to decipher. Animal print clothing: embodies the energy of said animal (I.E: Tiger print would make you appear cunning & fierce). Colorful clothing: your spirit will seem more youthful & vivacious.
The shoes you wear can make you walk into new opportunities unexpectedly.
You can keep a piece of paper that has a spell in your shoes for good luck or attracting your desire.
Buying shoes and watches for your romantic partner is bad luck in hoodoo (Shoes can make someone walk out the door and leave forever. While watches can make someone look at the time they have left with you.)
Earrings can help you hear what others say about you or what gossip is going around. (I heard the most compliments the other day while wearing my gold hoops 💫)
A necklace that has a charm or crystal can be used as a tailsmans, amulet, or pendulum.
Wearing rings on which hand or finger could enhance your abilities.
The same way there is money bowls, you can also make love or beauty bowls, or even use your jewelry box.
You can use color magick when doing your makeup or choosing an outfit.
Primer, lotions/moisturizers, body butters, oils, and gels can be used for sigils.
Foundation is for stability and being secure with yourself.
Concealer "cloaks" or "veils" your weaknesses or insecurities.
Contour makes space and structure for your desire.
Eyeliner can be used as a tool. It wards off negative spirits & people with bad intentions.
In ancient Egypt, the use of Kohl represented rank and achievement.
Mascara can be used to give you a different perspective in things or make you more open minded.
Eyeshadow enhances your eyes & brings more depth or dimension. Makes your gaze hypnotic & enticing like a siren's.
Highlighter shines your best qualities.
Bronzer makes your presence more warm & friendly
Blush is for playfulness, youthfulness, flirtation, and vitality.
The lip product you use can speak your desires into fruition. It also make your words sound more beautiful. People will want to listen more because they will feel attracted to your voice.
Lip gloss: makes your intentions "stick" to you. Lipstick: Leaves a "mark" on your target (especially if it's someone you fancy 💋). Lip stain: makes your words have a permanent effect on people, they won't forget you. Flavored lip balms: makes your kisses addicting.
Powder enhances your spell & adds a touch of good luck.
Setting spray finishes the spell.
528 Hz is the frequency of love.
Listening to frequencies, music, & subliminals can attract your desires.
You can make a playlist for your deity or ancestors to channel messages from them.
Here are some celebrities who used mirror work or glamour magick to manifest:
Beyoncé's Renaissance album has themes of having a good self concept, knowing your worth, manifesting self love & abundance.
Marilyn Monroe used visualization & affirmations to manifest her beauty and fame: “I daydreamed chiefly about beauty. I dreamed of myself becoming so beautiful that people would turn to look at me when I passed.”
Michael Jackson would keep sticky notes and a diary full of affirmations in his room by his mirror: “I'm beautiful (4x). I'm gorgeous. [Bad..?] Is for me, who can be against me? I'm beautiful. I'm a new person now. Beautiful, knowing the secret, and determined with fire[?] to move mountains in all I do. Molding my own world. I'm beautiful. The old me is behind. I will much ahead anew. - MJ”
Alexa Demie stated in a interview with Vogue that she would say affirmations in the mirror daily in the morning and it helped her manifest clear skin: “I have beautiful, clear, acne-free, scar-free skin.”
Princess Nokia is a bruja and is well known for her constant change in appearance: “Casting spells with my cousins / I'm the head of this coven / I'm a shapeshifting bitch, you don't know who you loving.”
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Thanks so much for reading, I wish you all the best of luck on your journey 🤍🤍🤍
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igotanidea · 7 months
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Dirty work: Jason Todd x reader
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A/N: I am a firm believer that even in his post-patrol haze and surge of energy all Jason Todd needs from his beloved princess are hugs, not fucks and i will die on this hill.
***
The adrenaline was still fuzzing in his system, even after hours and hours of his night job in Gotham. It was stressful and hitting on all his sensitive spots hidden so deep under the surface. Muscles moving in the trained motion he practised milion times before, each instinct spurred on by imagination running wild.
Hurt, scared, innocent kids, left to tend to themselves on the streets.
Ordinary citizens exposed to the aftermath of whatever drama and destruction the mobs and gangs decided to wage that night.
Terror on the street on women who were working the night shift, trying to make a living, make ends meet.
And the same shit going on over and over again every fucking night, because fucking someone had a fucking moral code. Because fucking someone refused to put an end to something terrible, too afraid to stain his fucking soul.
Red Hood didn't have a soul to save anymore.
Not after everything that happened in his life.
Dirty wokrk, but someone had to do it.
One life taken, dozens of other's saved. Felt like constantly being at war and the heat of the fight made it so much easier to forget about the sacrifices made along the way.
Red Hood was strong, tough and ready to take on the hardest responsiblity of cleaning Gotham of scumbags and crimnals.
But after?
Once the first rays of a morning sun loomed on the horizon, Jason knew it was time to go home. Take off the mask. Became an ordinary man once more.
Hoping, wishing and praying she wouldn't kick him out again this time. That she would take him, despite the blood on his hands, the injuries on his body and deep scars on his soul.
Not a Red Hood anymore.
Jason Todd. Human. Man. Boyfiend.
The energy was still high when he climbed to the apartment and stood on the wooden floor, carefullly avoiding that one screetching floarboard, almost stepping on his toes to not wake her.
"Jason."
Years of vigilantism and dealing with shit.
Hightened instincts and senses.
And yet, Y'N's voice in the morning, in the empty, quiet apartment made him jump from surprise, causing her to giggle, causing the surprise to give way to a wave of warm feelings.
"Morning, sunshine."
"Depends. Did you bring me breakfast?" she teased
"Since when do you eat breakfast?"
"It doesn't matter if I do!" she got out of the bed, yawning widely, rubbing her eyes and stepping closer to him, taking his helmet off, mindful of the explosived installed there (biting her tongue to not say something about using a protection that was simultaniously life threatening) "You are supposed to preach me about not eating healthy and feeding me with the best groceries. Croissaints, fancy salads, low fat cheese. All that stuff!"
"Are you for real?" he frowned in confusion upon her words. What was going on here?
"Nah, I'm joking cause I can tell that under all this pose you're tired. Though maybe a bit of laugh would do you good. Even if it;s at my expense" she smiled cupping his cheek and meeting his eyes "What do you need? hugs, kisses, cuddles? Or somehing more intense?" that was an obvious hint she was willing to help if he needed some action to blow off some steam.
"Can you just be with me? I just need your presence next to me. Knowing this is all real and I won't wake up alone again." hearing those words coming from Jason was the biggest leap of faith. He was not the one to admit to feeling tired or that something was weighting on his conscience once out of the mask. Never in the million years. But with her - it was simpler, easier, knowing she would just listen and observe rather than fill the silence with silly questions and talking and preaching and lamenting about his behaviour.
"I'm here. I promise, it's all real. You're not alone." She nodded calmly.
Jason produced the tiniest smile and let her guide him to the warm bed with the soft sheets smelling like her, with her arms wrapped around him like a soft cocoon.
And it was just fine.
No need to talk or to explain or to fight anymore.
Getting rid of this feeling that nothing made sense, his efforts were futile and no one would ever understand him.
Finally, a little bit of peace and maybe - just maybe - the tiniest amount of happiness brought by the steady beating of her heart in his ear and the gentle movement of her fingers in his hair.
True meaning of intimacy between two people.
Bonding for life.
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happydayshappygays · 4 months
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Catfish part 2
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“I am sick and tired of you two!” I watched as a pissed off Leah paced the room, her nostrils flaring and her hands clenched into tight fists. “You just can’t help yourselves, god forbid I have a relaxing day off with my girlfriend.” She continued to pace, I wince at the tone of her voice, shrinking into myself in slight fear.
It’s been a month since Leah and I had finally met, and since then we had spent every possible moment together. Which meant I got to know her teammates extremely well, Katie is the one person Leah probably wished I had never interacted with. Leah had become the butt of jokes and the target for pranks every time we were in a room with Katie.
“I can’t believe you’d do something so stupid after I told you last week to stop.” She had stopped pacing, instead opting to stand in front of us with her arms crossed over her chest and fixing the both of us with an intense glare. Katie had to stifle her laugh, not intimidated by Leah’s glare in the slightest. Mainly because her now bright pink hair made her look like a pouty barbie.
“Katie” she said with as much venom in her tone as possible. “don’t make me call your girlfriend.” That was enough for Katie to shrink back in her seat and huff grumpily to herself. “This is blackmail” she mumbled.
“And what about it? My hair is pink!” Leah all but screamed, pointing frantically to her hair. I had managed to avoid being obliterated by her anger thus far, and I wasn’t about to put myself in the same position as Katie, so I stayed quiet.
“Yeah but it suits you so is it really that bad?” Katie smirked up at her. Big mistake. Leah took one step forward, Katie’s smirk falling from her face, most likely praying to any god that would listen to open up a hole in the ground and take her anywhere else.
“Is it really that bad?” Leah repeats, tone sharp. “Is it really that bad? Let me think…” Leah gripped the collar of Katie’s shirt and pulled her to her feet “if I dyed Coopurr green would it really be that bad?” Katie looked mortified, whether it was from the fact Leah had now lifted her off the ground, her feet barely grazing the floor, or if it was the subtle threat that soon her cat would look like a lab experiment gone wrong, I didn’t know.
“Leah, babe. Let’s put Katie back down yeah?” I say calmly, hoping my tone would break the tense atmosphere.
Leah looked back at me, her eyes flicking back and forth between my eyes before ultimately deciding to do what I said. Except she didn’t just put her down, she added a little shove in that had Katie stumbling backwards with a yelp of surprise. Leah smirked to herself before turning her attention to me. “So. Babe.” she licked her lips, eyeing me with something scarily evil glinting in her eyes. “What do you have to say about this?”
“Well” I cleared my throat, rubbing my sweaty palms on my jeans. “I did participate in the prank, I think you look absolutely breathtaking and I’m sorry.” My words flew out of my mouth at a speed I didn’t know I was capable of, eyes squeezing shut as I anticipated Leah reacting in a similar way to how she had reacted with Katie.
When I heard nothing, I peeked an eye open. Leah was staring at me, head tilted slightly to the side as the corners of her mouth quirked up into a soft smile. Ultimately. Leah found it impossible to stay mad at me. Even though we had made her look like she had just escaped from a candyfloss factory and she would be hiding it underneath a hat until it washed away. “Katie.” she spared her a quick glance over her shoulder “go home before I change my mind about turning your cat into a fluffy green goblin.”
Katie might as well have thrown herself out of the room with the speed at which she scarpered away. “Baby, why did you and Katie have to become friends?” she pouted at me, throwing her arms up like a toddler having a tantrum. “I preferred it when she thought you were insufferable.”
“That was for like a week babe, and only because she thought I was catfishing you.” I run my hands up and down her arms and watch her shoulders slump into a more relaxed state.
“At least I wasn’t being ganged up on, I liked it better that way.” She leaned her body into mine, dropping her head to my shoulder.
“From what I heard, you were moping about the training grounds for weeks on end so… still prefer it that way?” She huffs and pinches my side.
We stayed like that for a while, stood in the middle of her living room, wrapped up in each others arms. A comfortable silence floated around us, neither one of us willing to break the atmosphere.
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Two weeks later, Leah was still sporting her pink hair, it had faded to a pastel pink. Leah had stopped hiding it once it wasn’t as bright and she actually came to love the colour of it.
“Baby, are you ready? The girls are waiting for us.” Leah shouted up the stairs, I had been staying at her house for just over a week, she had refused to let me leave, dragging me back into bed and gripping me so tight I almost lost my breath. She had only let me leave to pick up some stuff from my house, as long as I came straight back ‘no dawdling’ as she put it.
“Yes my love, I’m ready, just putting my jacket on.” I reply, coming down the stairs as I do up the buttons on my jacket. “What are we doing again?”
“Well, since it was Katie’s turn to choose the activity today, she chose axe throwing. Alessia tried opting out cause she’s a clutz and didn't want to accidentally kill anyone but you know Katie. She’s got Lessi wrapped around her little finger.” Leah continued to ramble as we walked down the driveway and as she opened the car door for me, only pausing once the door was shut and she had to circle the car to get in.
“What was I saying again?”
“More than I asked for.” I tease, grinning as her hand dropped to rest on my thigh. “Is Katie sure this is the place she wants you in right now? I mean, you have spent the last two weeks throwing things at her every time you see her.” Leah had forgiven Katie already, the same night we died her hair to be exact. But she was thriving off of Katie’s fear every time an object was flying at her head.
“You know, one of these days she’s not gonna duck and you’re gonna have to deal with Captain mum shouting at you.” Leah groans and rolls her eyes. We had this same conversation a few days ago, her reply being ‘Kimmy would never’ which she was vehemently wrong about as Kimmy had indeed shouted at Leah yesterday. Granted, it was early and Kimmy hadn’t had her coffee yet, but it still set Leah on edge and made her pout for the rest of the day.
“Don’t start again babe, you’ve been enjoying winding Katie up as much as I have.” And she was right, I had joined in with Leah’s torture on the poor girl, it had started as a comment in passing about what colour Leah was going to dye Coopurr. The way she had paled slightly and gulped like the very thought of her precious Coopurr being violated in such a way was the worst thing she had ever imagined.
It had snowballed since then, I said and did anything I could to set her on edge. So much so that she had probably gone back to thinking I am insufferable. “Alright, let’s get this over with.” Leah sighed, axe throwing was not her idea of fun.
“You know I love you right?” I glance at her, seeing the way her eyes light up and the tips of her ears turn pink, matching her hair perfectly. “I do, and I love you too.” She leaned over, pressing her lips softly to mine “so much.”
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mcrslover · 7 months
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MCR quotes for anyone who needs them:
"Kids would say they were going to kill themselves then they heard our music... it's our mission"
- Mikey Way.
...
"Reasons why mcr is good for you
juradsleigh:
Feeling like a rad vampire? Listen to bullets
Feeling angry? Listen to 3 cheers
Feeling sad? Listen to black parade
Feeling colourful and happy? Listen to danger days
Feeling like breaking up your band? Listen to death never stop you"
...
"This is for every kid out there... That dyed their hair a fucked up colour and can't get a job. They got a tattoo on their neck like Frank, and can't get a job. That does this because they fuckin' love this. This song is for every kid in the audience- even if you don't have fucked up hair or tattoos-every kid on stage, this song's about us, this song's about you, it's called The Kids From Yesterday."
- Gerard Way.
...
"Stop covering your children's eyes.
Everything is fucked up and pretending it's not won't make it any better. I'm tired of people praying for a change when it's up to them to get off their asses and make a change."
- Frank Iero.
...
"I spent most of my time in the back of the class, just drawing. My goal was to not get noticed in school, because spent so long not being noticed anyway or being treated as if I were invisible that I started to like it.
I've learned that it's actually not very lonely... It's like, you have less friends but the friends you have count more. I met a lot of people that weren't outsiders, or they were very popular, and they have a lot of friends but I don't know if they're the kinds of friends you would call up at 3 am to help you out or talk about being depressed."
- Gerard Way.
...
"Promise me, when MCR's gone, you'll do what it takes to survive. You're strong enough to do it without us."
- Gerard Way.
...
"All your quirks and all your problems, even your depressions, and your failures that's.. that's what makes you, you."
- Gerard Way.
...
"If you or someone you know is severely depressed you need to fucking talk to someone! Your mom, someone in school, I don't give a fuck! Because suicide is fucking bullshit."
- Gerard Way.
...
"Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections."
- Gerard Way.
...
"Nothing is worth hurting yourself over, nothing is worth taking your life over"
- Gerard Way.
...
"If we never play another show again, just keep yourself alive."
- Gerard Way.
...
"We're outsiders, we're the kids who didn't get dates for the prom, we're the kids who were confused, who didn't fit in with the cliques, who weren't part of the in-crowd.
Growing up can be a very frightening and confusing time, and I think people look at us and see it's okay to be different. They see that there is a way other than what they're being offered. That you can stand out, that you can be creative, that you can be yourself."
- Gerard Way.
...
"gerard-hey:
I love MCR so much it's like they have a song for every situation. Feeling sad? Listen to The Lights Behind Your Eyes. Feeling frustrated? Listen to I'm Not Okay. Feeling Energetic? Listen to Na Na Na. Feeling like you wanna kick some ass? Listen to Destroya.
Feeling rebellious? Listen to Teenagers. Feel like you wanna break up your band? Listen to Fake Your Death."
...
"The difference we want to make is, number one, to let these kids know that they're not alone, that they're actually not that messed up, and that they can do whatever they want they can express themselves in any way they want without being persecuted or called a faggot or some kind of racist thing. Really just get people to get over their stuff so they can live."
- Gerard Way.
...
"Whatever happens to you, no matter what, l'm always fucking there for you... Don't forget that. I don't give a shit if your boyfriend dumps you. If your girlfriend dumps you. If you're working a shitty job or can't get through school. If you can't get through a fucking Harry Potter book, there's nothing worth dying over. There's nothing worth taking your life over. I will always fucking be there."
- Gerard Way.
...
"If you come to an MCR show, you're probably a little fucked up, and that's okay because we're just as fucked up as you. It's us against the world. And it's great because there's thousands of us in one place."
- Gerard Way.
...
"Someone doesn't like you? Fuck it.
Having a bad day? Fuck it. Didn't get that job, or that grade, or that promotion you wanted? Fuck it. Fighting with your lover? Fuck it. Feel fat today? Fuck it. Losing control of everything and everyone? Fuck it.
What matters now won't matter soon; the truly important thing is that you are alive, and that you have the capacity to do absolutely anything with this beautiful, crazy coincidence of being on this earth. Just stick your middle fingers in the air and think, 'Damn, I have it good."
- Gerard Way.
...
"You're going to come across a lot of shitty bands, and a lot of shitty people. And if anyone of those people call your names because of what you look like, or bedause they don't accept you for who you are. I want you to look right at that mother fucker, stick up your middle finger and scream
"FUCK YOU!!"
- Gerard Way.
...
"Real revenge is making something of yourself."
- Gerard Way.
❤️🖤❤️🖤
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fookingmuffins · 9 months
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it's time to go
James potter x reader
Summary: Angst. You love James, but it's time to go.
Warning: cheating, screaming and James being a dick.
A/n: lmao I really ran after posting like 4 fics, but I'm doing a little better and even though I'm stressed with uni I've been dying to write something, so I hope y'all enjoy. (This actually took me so long to finish and i dont lobe the ending but i needs to move on, oops)
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You sighed as you prepared to open the door to the house you shared with James. Once upon a time, you would've rushed in without a second thought. But lately the war had taken a toll on the two of you. Once happy moments were now filled with fear and dread, making you feel like you were drowning. And no matter how hard you tried to hold on to the love of your life, you could feel him shutting you out. James had always been an open book anyone who ever met him knew that, but lately he had built this wall meant to keep you away, only you. At first, you tried to understand and be patient considering everything you two were going through, but after countless fights of you begging for him to talk to you, you were tired. You squeezed your eyes shut once before pushing the door open and plastering a fake smile in your face, maybe today would be different.
"Jamie, I'm home, I brought your favorite from the bakery by my work!" you shouted into the house buy were greeted with only silence. After checking the house you realized you were alone which immediately sent you into a spiral of worry since James was supposed to be here an hour ago but deciding that maybe he had gotten caught up with something you tried to ignore your panic and start getting ready for your friend's Alice’s engagement party.
You heard the door open and close while you were finishing up with your hair, causing you to get up and genuinely smile when you saw James make his way to the bedroom that the two of you shared.
"I was wondering where you were, I got you some pastries they are in the counter." you tried, but he just gave you a tight-lipped smile with a wave before passing by you to your shared bedroom. You went after him and saw he was getting ready to jump in the shower. Figuring it was going to be another quiet afternoon, you sat at your vanity staring at yourself in the mirror holding back the tears threatening to spill and ruin your makeup and just prayed that at the wedding maybe you two could have fun like you used to. You didn't even realize how long you sat there until you heard James get out of the bathroom and start getting ready, and you decided to just get dressed too and sit by the window with a book while you waited for James to be ready.
"Are you okay?" You were broken out of your train of thought by James’s question.
"Yeah, why wouldn't I be. " You answered, giving him a similar smile to the one he gave you when he arrived.
"I don't know, you just keep staring into space, and it's kinda creepy." he tried to joke, but what once would've made you smile and roll your eyes instead caused a knot to form at your throat again, and you felt tears prickling your eyes once again.
"Well what am I supposed to do is not like I can talk to you anymore James you always shut me out, and I don’t know what to do anymore to get you to bring down the walls that keep shutting me out! I don't even know what I did for you to shut me out!" You couldn't help but let out everything for the millionth time, hoping that maybe today would be the last time you two were having this conversation and that he would finally open up and let you two go back to normal.
However, you soon realized that it was only wishful thinking because James immediately lowered his head and mumbled "For fuck's sake y/n not this again"
"Yes, this again, James! Please talk to me! Stop shutting me out, please!" you were a sobbing mess by this point, begging him to let you in, not caring if you ruined your makeup.
But James just shook his head and walked out, "I'll wait for you in the car while you get cleaned up, we can't do this right now, or we’ll be late." just like that, he left you alone frozen with mascara running down your cheeks. You felt numb and just quickly tried to clean up but when you were done and staring at your reflection stare back at you with puffy red eyes you just felt pathetic.
On the way neither one of you talked James kept his eyes on the road while you looked out the window too lost in your thoughts to realize your usual music that would usually be playing while the two of you drove was not playing, James realized, and he felt like he was suffocating in the empty car ride.
The wedding was beautiful and despite your problems you couldn't help but imagine that one day it would maybe be you and James standing in an altar professing your love in front of all your friends and family. You turned to look at him as Alice and Ben were sharing their vows, only to catch him staring at Lily, and she was staring right back at him. You felt something break in you as confusion overtook you. Why is he looking at her?
Was she the reason that you were slowly getting kicked to the curb? Back in Hogwarts everyone knew that James was obsessed with Lily but when she finally gave him a chance things just didn't work out. Then you caught James's attention, and the rest is history.
You tried to focus on the happy couple in the altar as the ceremony came to an end, but you felt someone was stabbing you and twisting the knife.
By some miracle during the reception James asked you to dance which shocked you, but his eyes seemed so sincere and like they were almost begging that you couldn't help but to foolishly be filled with hope once again. As you took his hand, he genuinely smiled at you again the way he used to with that same boyish grin that made you fall for him 5 years ago.
The two of you danced in the center of the dance floor spinning and laughing around, you had not been this happy in so long. After a particularly long fit of giggles, James pulled you closer and looked into your eyes with a spark that the two of you hadn't shared in months. When you two were about to lock lips, someone cleared their throat besides you two and the two of you pulled slightly away.
"James could I have a word with you please?" Lily asked looking at James who immediately pulled away from you and went with her after telling you he'd be right back. Just like that you were brought back to reality the cloud 9 that you had been in for a little bit long gone, and again the sinking feeling invaded you, feeling like you were drowning. You needed a drink.
You went to the bar and after getting your drink you decided it wasn't enough, and you needed air. You walked out of the salon where everybody was and made your way to the garden, and that's when you heard it.
"James! You said you two were over, but it sure as hell doesn't look like it! I can't beli-"
"I know, I know, but I can explain Lily please! I-I-I came here with her because she was embarrassed to come alone, so I promised this would be our last outing together." You felt your heart stop, air getting caught in your throat.
"What? That doesn't-" Lily started as you felt the glass in your hands slip and shatter on the ground.
Both of them froze and looked at where you were standing, you could feel a knot forming in your throat but glared at the pair in front of you with tears forming in your eyes.
"Y/n I can explain!"
" I think both of us want an explanation, James, but she deserves it more. Y/n/n I'm so sorry I had no idea you two were still together." Lily went to walk away and James was about to chase after her when she heard you scoff and as you turned around.
"Say goodbye to Alice and Ben for me, would you? I have to go." you rushed out before basically sprinting to the nearest exit, hearing James chase after you, which wasn't hard considering he was taller than you and an athlete. He grabbed your arm when you two had made it to the parking lot and turned you around.
"So that's why I'm getting the cold shoulder." you blurted out before whatever he was able to utter whatever shit excuse he was going to tell you. You almost wanted to laugh, which made you feel like you were insane, but you thought about all the hours you had spent over the past couple of months looking in the mirror trying to see what was wrong with you, overanalyzing every tiny detail in your face. Laying in bed staring at the ceiling, replaying everything you had done that day that might have set James off.
"No no baby, I swear it's not what it looks like, Lily is just bitter we didn't work out, and she's trying to sabotage us! I've just been so stressed because of it, and I am so sorry I let it out on you."
"Bullshit James! You were literally just talking shit about me before i showed up and ruined your little act." You were seething by this point, and James flinched after your outburst. You had never been one to scream, and he knew that, but right now you honestly felt like nothing was the same and you weren't the same. "A-and you wanted to chase after her and you know what? maybe you should. Maybe you have a better shot at getting her back because we are over James Potter! I-I am so tired... I-" You were crying from all the different emotions you were feeling at that moment. Finally getting some enlightenment about why your relationship was dying gave you some relief of the crushing pain you were feeling being hunted by the "what if's" and "why's" you weren't the problem.
James tried to get close and wrap his arms around you. god he felt like an idiot for hurting you. He honestly doesn't know what he was thinking. He had hoped you never found out and had planned to break up with Lily soon enough, but he just needed to explore a little what it could've been like if he had stayed with her. Plus the thrill of it was something that James had loved for the time being, but he never wanted to hurt you. His heart broke at the sight of you, he couldn't imagine what you were feeling.
"Don't even think about it! Don't ever touch me again don't ever look at me, I hate you so much Potter, I don't want to know anything about you from this day on James! We now mean nothing to me, we are strangers!" You glared at him in a way he had never seen you look at anyone, and felt his heart drop.
He tried to protest, feeling the tears leave his own eyes at the idea of losing you completely forever. But you just turned around and walked away.
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hvly · 1 year
Note
No, cause let’s talk about the virgins tired of being virgins.
My personal favorite is that Oikawa has never gotten any type of close with a girl because of the sheer amount of bitches he has around him
(Also, I stumbled across your blog and I think I’m in love??? Please say you’re not taken 👏🏼)
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ᴛᴀʟᴋ ᴛᴏ ᴇᴍ 🗣️ : anon, babe, forgive me for getting to this so astronomically late. BUT now that I'm here, let's talk about it 🤭 Oikawa is a hoe in theory, not practice. And I am more than happy to elaborate.
ᴄᴡ: virginity loss (male), afab reader, light praise. not proofread so be nice.
ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ : 1k+
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Humor me for a minute. Imagine what it'd be like to take THE Tooru Oikawa’s virginity. To be his first, if you will. He'd try to be really smooth about it. Using his flirtatious nature to cover up the fact that he's inexperienced when it comes to being intimate. And who, honestly, would doubt or question his validity? 
The volleyball player is far from short on potential sexual partners. Throngs of fangirls practically throw themselves at his feet, hoping to land on his radar for just one chance. And like any good idol, he gives his adoring fans what they wish and pray for.
Pandering to his female fans by addressing them as “his girls”, giving hugs instead of handshakes at fan meet-ups, and playful flirty banter to appear more personal and within reach. No one who’s ever interacted with him would get the impression that he’s a “virgin”. 
To say he had you fooled would be quite the understatement. And to say you were pleasantly surprised to be the one to find out would be an even greater one. 
You stare down at where your bodies would soon connect, your hand gently leading his member to align with your entrance. Oikawa's bangs tickled your forehead as he watched, his breaths gradually getting shorter out of what you could only assume was anticipation. “Are you ready?” you ask, looking up at the brunette through your lashes. 
He nods slightly, breathing out an airy ‘yes’. You felt your heart skip in your chest, the way he answered catching you off guard. It felt surreal guiding the reputed womanizer through his first time and seeing him like this. Meek, breathless, desperate. How lucky you were to have this opportunity.
“Okay,” you whisper, taking a deep breath before leading his cock into your welcoming walls, using your legs to gradually pull him in. Oikawa inhales sharply from the new sensation, quietly muttering to himself as he sinks inch by inch into you. 
You lay still when Oikawa bottoms out, allowing him a moment to adjust to each other’s bodies. “How does it feel?” you ask, your hands coming up to cup his face. His cheeks were warm in the palm of your hands, ears hot against the pads of your fingers. He’s breathy when he responds, brown eyes misty as he looks at you. “Good...Really good,” he mutters, his collarbone peaking through with each breath he took. “Can I?” he paused, voice breathy and barely above a whisper, afraid to appear too eager. He looks like he’s close to tears, eyes glassy against his flushed skin. You peered back into those warm eyes, rubbing your thumbs across his cheeks as you nodded.
Oikawa swallows and fixes his hands to your hips. You felt him move backward, his cock dragging against your walls. He starts slowly, his hips rocking in a steady back-and-forth motion. Soft groans and hushed curses sounded from the boy as he relaxed, less rigid and more confident. 
Your eyes fluttered shut, lip caught between your teeth as you let Oikawa use your cunt to find a comfortable pace he could build on. Gradually, his movements quickened. His thrusts became less tentative and more precise, hitting faster and deeper every time his hips connected with yours. You gasped quietly, your eyes snapping open upon Oikawa’s (frankly unexpected) new pace. 
Your breaths start to quicken as pleasure slowly builds in your core. “Yeah, keep going,” you moan. Oikawa huffs out some sort of acknowledgment as he continues to drill into your tight walls. You vocalized your pleasure loudly, praising the brunette for how well he was doing. And in such a short amount of time for someone who claimed they were inexperienced. 
For a moment, you wondered if the pro volleyball player was lying about his virginity. Maybe he was using it as a type of ploy to garner sympathy from his fans.
But the thought went as soon as it came. Your attention was brought back with a jolt of pleasure shooting up your spine, your hips bucking in response. You gasped before it was quickly replaced with a loud moan, your hands gripping the pillows behind you. Oikawa groans above you, his fingers digging into the fat of your hip. 
Any timidity that he previously had was now long gone. He thrust into you with a new found confidence. Or maybe it was just pure lust and pleasure that drove him. You went into this fully expecting not to orgasm, but the virgin boy proved not to be underestimated. 
You couldn’t help but rain praises down on the brunette, his performance truly commendable.. ‘Yes ! Just like that’ and ‘You’re doing so good’ falling freely from your lips as the coil in your abdomen steadily wound up. Oikawa threw his head back with a loud moan before looking back at you with hazy chocolate eyes. “Gonna cum…Fuck, I’m cumming,” he manages to choke out, squeezing his eyes shut as he nears his end. You moan in time with his frantic thrusts, yeses ringing throughout the room like a mantra. 
His cock twitched with such intensity you swore you could feel every vein on his cock, even through the latex barrier he wore. You reach climax first, your cunt fluttering around Oikawa. He pumped into your walls once, twice, three times before his hips suddenly stilled. Oikawa gasped loudly, an equally loud and drawn out moan filling in any possible silence within the room. You felt his load steadily fill the condom, the faintest traces of warmth within your walls. Every twitch of his cock added to the feeling of (technical) fullness, and you were almost certain that he’d spill out of it if he kept cumming like this. 
Oikawa collapsed on top of you, his breathing heavy and his heart pounding against your shoulder. You smiled a bit, bringing a hand up to ruffle his hair. He chuckled breathlessly, propping himself up to look at you. 
“So,” he smiled, a smirk tugging on his features, “Did I earn the title of womanizer?” Oikawa’s expression was light and playful, not taking himself too seriously and well aware of his reputation as a “lady-killer”. You giggled, shaking your head lightly.
“Almost. Still gotta teach you a few things before then.”
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© 𝘈𝘭𝘭 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘴𝘰𝘯 2023. 𝘋𝘰 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘰𝘥𝘪𝘧𝘺.
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arafilez · 3 months
Text
BACK HOME ㅤㅤㅤ☆ ㅤ —﹙ c.hs ﹚
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WHEN ㅤ,ㅤ you can't wait till hansol comes back !
ㅤㅤ ᶻzㅤ( x reader ) 𓂃 ㅤ fluff ㅤ drabbleㅤ warnings kissing ㅤ⋆ ( 628 wc ) ㅤ❟❟ㅤ library ㅤ svt shelfㅤ navi
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When you first heard about Hansol moving away, your initial reaction was to stand in confusion. This is life, best friends move away too, you had heard your mother say and you had scoffed in your mind. But Hansol had kept his promise, he had kept in touch through his blunt remarks and soft voice echoing over the caller whenever you called.
You have been best friends for four years, but the two years when he moved away made you much closer. So when you see his text light up your phone you almost fall out of your bed. He is coming back home.
Everything came rushing back from the last six years to you, the last two years hammering more. Late night chats, shy giggles, smiling at a single text and anticipation of his return. God, you wish he could come faster and you could see him already. Then the clouds of doubt over your mind will vanish.
Liar, your mind echoes but you push the thought to the back of your mind until he video-called you. Tousled hair and tired eyes welcome you as you pick up his video call. All that cracked voice and low-quality video but he is literally shining. Your heart feels an unnecessary pang as you cut the call and know you are screwed.
You like him. It’s obvious and you groan knowing your friends had every right to tease you. It felt so cliché, you almost wanted to push your face in a pillow and scream. The moment he comes back you are confessing!
Everything goes to hell when you sit in your bed that night and realise you are the most impatient person ever as the text you sent lights up your screen with a single tick beside it. You wished so much you could hold it in because texting and confessing is absolutely the worst way to let someone know but fuck that!
You wanted him! He needed to know at all costs! Fuck everything if you can have him!
You groan, throwing away your phone at the end of the bed and slump down on your bed, pulling the covers to your face, closing your eyes and praying and hoping he likes you back.
A knock on your window jolts you awake making you yelp in confusion and back away from the window. Blinking, you gape in shock as you see the lopsided smile and bright eyes. Hansol. Hansol?
“What the hell?” you whisper and open your window quickly checking the clock- four in the morning. He shuffles inside as you rub your eyes trying to make sense of the situation. “Why are you here, at four?” you whisper shout making him grin and say, “I couldn’t wait.”
“For what?” you grit out glaring at him. As much as you love this boy and his goofy nature you hate being woken up from your sleep. “To do this,” he whispers holding your hand and leaning in as your breath hitches. No! This can’t be real! You are dreaming.
A single nod and he gets the permission, cupping your jaw he presses his lips to yours softly as you try to catch up. You had imagined multiple times what it would feel like to have his lips on you, but the reality felt so much better. You gasp lightly, kissing him back and running your hands throw his hair as he intertwines your fingers with his other hand.
When you break apart he clears his throat and says, “If it wasn’t clear, I like you back,” making you giggle. Cheeks pink in the twinkling lights, tell me about the first time you saw me. Oh it was very clear. And you loved it just as much as he did.
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ARA'S NOTES ㅤ,ㅤ omggg i am so happy for @weird-bookworm i literally wrote this inspired from absolutely mini kdrama worthy love story, i was swooning so much sky !
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ㅤㅤ ᶻzㅤ( TAGLIST ) ㅤ @slytherinshua @weird-bookworm @haneagerr @aaa-sia @yeosayang 𓂃ㅤ fill this or comment or ask to be added.
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ㅤㅤ(ㅤㅤ© arafilez on tumblrㅤㅤ)
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violet-fluff · 9 months
Text
💙 Levi x !Pregnant Reader
Late Arrival
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Thanks @roseofdarknessblog for the suggestion! I want to make a Dadvi series now. Hope you all enjoy!
You look out the window and gloomily stare around at the empty training field.
The Survey Corp had set out on an emergency mission to patch up a wall within Wall Maria. Levi was forced to go as well, leaving you, his pregnant wife, behind for a week.
You weren’t left completely alone though. Hanji ordered Moblit to stay behind as well to watch over you. Your baby isn’t due for another two weeks, so Moblit was here to help you get around as your giant belly made it difficult.
Heavens help him if you were to go into labor because this man wouldn’t know what to do.
“Are you ok, Y/N?” Moblit asks, snapping you out of your thoughts.
“They’re half a week late.” You remind him anxiously as you sit on your bed.
He gives you a sympathetic smile. “And I doubt they will be any later. Especially with Levi wanting to be here with you. I bet they’ll be here when you wake up in the morning.”
You laugh softly as you took notice of how your nervous friend was trying to tip-toe around your pregnancy hormones. “Thanks, Moblit. You’ve been nothing but helpful for me. I guess I’ll go to bed now. I’m really tired.”
He nods and walks back out to Levi’s office. He’s been sleeping on Levi’s couch so he can be close by if you need anything. Levi’s orders.
Throughout the night, you could only toss and turn as it seems your baby wants to roll around and kick you every minute. Groaning in annoyance, you sit up and rub your stomach.
“Can you calm down for me please?” You beg.
Your baby replies with another hard kick, so you shake your head in defeat as you stand up to grab a book to read. Except when you stand up, a sharp cramp ripples in your stomach and a heavy flow of liquid falls from under your dress.
You stand in shock as you pray that it’s not what you think it is, until another sharp cramp makes you sit back down onto the bed and hold your stomach in pain.
“Moblit!!” You scream for your friend and you cry in pain.
A few moments go by and the door swings open. “What’s wrong?!” Moblit asks while trying to rub sleep from his eyes.
“I’m-I’m in labor!”
“Oh shit!” He runs up to you. “What do we do?!”
You hold your stomach and cry. “I don’t know! But I think they’re coming out!”
“Ok ok! Um… let’s lay you down!?” Moblit helps you swing your legs back onto the bed and props you up with another pillow.
You instinctively bend your legs up as you feel the baby push down.
“Wait wait! I’m not ready for you to push!” Moblit says in desperation.
“I am!!” You scream and lean forward as you push.
Moblit gives his own little yell of panic and goes to the foot of the bed. “I’m sorry but I have to look!” He tells you as he lifts up your sleep dress. He nearly faints as he sees the head of the baby start to crown out.
“Is the baby coming out?!” You ask breathlessly.
“Y-yes! Just keep pushing! And remember to breathe please!” He orders.
You nod and keep pushing.
After what seems like another thirty minutes of pushing and nervous encouragement from Moblit, you feel all the pain and pressure release from you.
A piercing cry fills the room and you lay back on the pillows to try and control your breathing. You feel a light weight on your chest and you look down to see a reddish dirty baby moving their arms and legs around while crying.
“You have a daughter.” Moblit announces while trying not to cry.
Suddenly reality hits as you look down and hug the baby closer to you…your baby. You cry as you gently rock her, trying to calm her down.
A snipping sound hits your ears and you look down to see Moblit cutting the umbilical cord.
“I’m not sure if I cut the right spot, I just know I have to cut it.” He says.
You smile at him. “Thank you for everything, Moblit.”
——
A few more days pass and you are sitting in bed reading, looking over every once in a while to make sure your baby girl was sleeping ok.
Suddenly the bedroom door opens and you look up expecting to see Moblit, but instead see Levi.
You both look at each other with wide eyes and he hurries over to you, pulling you forward into a tight hug.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I wasn’t here.” He whispers in your ear.
You pull away and look at his face, tears threaten to leave his eyes.
“It’s ok, Levi. I’m just glad you’re back.” You smile shyly at him and grab his face . “We have a daughter now. Go see her.”
Levi looks back at you with furrowed brows. “I’m…I’m scared.”
A small cooing came from the basinet and you giggle. “But I think she wants to meet you.”
You watch as Levi walks over to the basinet and peers inside. A tiny baby girl who mirrors his own looks stares back at him with wide, grey eyes as she chews on her hand.
“Crazy how the mother carries the child, but they always come out looking like father.” You joke, trying to lighten the tension.
Levi gives a small smile as he touches his daughter’s smooth hair. It’s so black that light itself may have trouble penetrating it.
He carefully picks up the baby girl and lifts her closer to his face. She coos and reaches out to grab his nose. You watch from the bed and quickly wipe the tears flowing from your eyes as you take in the sight of the love of your life holding your child.
“I’m so sorry, my baby. I should have been here.” He says while kissing her cheek.
“Levi, we still need to name her.”
Levi looks at his baby for a moment before turning to you . “Isabel.”
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t3a-tan · 2 months
Text
Romantic and Hopeless (1/?)
First / Previous / Next
Based on @tinyundercover's soulmate AU mechanics! Kind of heavy... I want to continue it though! To have Oscar and Sammy meet at least. Enjoy ^^
---
“Hello?”
Sammy's breathing hitched as she heard the voice suddenly echo in her head, her attempt at sleeping being ruined immediately. She managed to avoid jolting from surprise, and glanced down at Tanner's sleeping form to ensure he wasn't stirring. The boy continued to snore softly curled into her body heat.
“Hello? Are you there? Oh, um… put your hands together to respond! Like praying. And then just think. I know some people don't really know about soulmates.”
It sounded like a boy around her own age, and he was very excited. Sammy hesitantly shifted her hands away from where she had been cradling Tanner, and interlocked her fingers. She tilted her head, brows furrowed. Soulmate? I think I remember something about that...
“Hi?” Her mental voice was confused and unsure.
“Oh my gosh. Hey! You have no idea how much I've been looking forward to meeting my soulmate..! Let me know if I'm being too much, okay? Hm… what are you up to right now? Am I interrupting anything?”
Sammy glanced out of the glass enclosure she and her brother were being contained in, barely able to see anything as the only things illuminating the room were a few alarms and other random lights. Ryker had left the lab at the same time as usual, so they were trying to sleep as much as possible until he was back.
“I'm trying to sleep.” She responded simply. There was very little point in communicating with her soulmate considering the situation Sammy was in, but she had to admit that it was nice to hear a new voice. A friendly voice.
“Oh. Just going to bed early, or are you in a different time zone?” The voice replied and Sammy blinked with confusion.
“Time zone?”
“Yeah! It's like um… uh… wow. I guess I don't know what a time zone is. Here— What time is it for you?” A small smile of amusement managed to break out on Sammy's tired expression. She had to admit that whoever this guy was he sounded like someone she would get along with. Too bad I'll never meet him.
“I don't know what time it is. There are no windows down here.” Hopefully that would clue him in on her situation a bit. Borrowers usually kept track of the time consistently, but Sammy had no idea what time it was, what day it was, what month it was, or even the year. She was probably close to 18 though if her soulmate was speaking to her.
“What do you mean? Can't you check outside if you don't have a clock?” Came the answer, and Sammy couldn't help but sigh. She really didn't feel like telling this stranger her sob story, no matter how nice his voice sounded.
“I just go to sleep when I'm tired. I could stay awake a bit longer though… Tell me about yourself.” She casually changed the subject, with enough force that it would be hard to go back but not too much that it was obvious she didn't want to discuss it. It seemed to work because she heard his voice chime in reply.
“Well— we can't tell each other our names, but just imagine my name is super cool, yeah? Uhh… let's start with basic basics I guess. My favourite colour is red, my favourite food is…pasta. And. Hm. Well, I just turned 18, so it's my birthday.” He responded, clearly sheepish about being put on the spot.
“Happy birthday to you then. What's the date again?” She asked, unsure of how old she was at this point, but guessing she was almost 18. She knew for a fact that it had been around 3 years so far because Ryker would occasionally make mentions of the passing time.
“It’s July 17th. How old are you by the way?”
“17. Hopefully 18 in January.” The ‘hopefully’ slipped out instinctively; Sammy wasn't under any delusion that she had no chance of dying before reaching her next birthday, and she didn't feel sad about it necessarily. She had already spent so long in this kind of mindset that it was more of a statement of fact than anything else.
She looked down at Tanner again. So he'll be 14 in October then. Time flies. If I count the days I might be able to wish him a happy birthday on the actual day.
“Hey, don't talk like that. Maybe I'll even get to wish you a happy birthday in person..!” Her soulmate responded positively, and Sammy smiled sadly, looking down at her scuffed knees and bruised legs, pulling the hem of her gown down a bit more.
“Maybe.” No. There was no chance she was getting out of here. Ryker was watching things much too closely, and Sammy knew she was getting more and more exhausted by the week. It was hard to keep fighting when it was easier to give in.
It didn't take long for Sammy to realise something was off about her soulmate. He never spoke about typical borrower things— he talked almost like a human most of the time, mentioning friends coming over as if it was like popping from burrow to burrow. He said he liked video games, and at first Sammy assumed he liked watching humans play video games but then he had also mentioned playing them himself.
The most damning thing to convince her though was the food. Even if he ate the same thing most days, that thing was certainly nothing a borrower would have access to so regularly. Sammy's parents had always tried to keep a variety of food whilst she and Tanner were growing up, but they couldn't have regular meals, especially not more than once a week.
When he mentioned skipping school that's what 100% solidified it for her. Her soulmate was a human. Somehow. And that thought scared her.
“Hey, are you feeling alright? You've not been responding much recently… If I can do anything to help, let me know.” Sammy was once again presented with a dilemma at the sound of her soulmate’s soothing voice. He sounded genuine, but Sammy knew humans weren't capable of that. They were monsters, plain and simple. If they are nice one moment they'll be terrible the next.
She glanced in Ryker's direction, confirming that he was distracted writing on his stupid notebook before clasping her hands together and closing her eyes.
“Sorry. I'm just feeling a bit tired lately. I—”
“What are you doing?” Sammy jolted in surprise, her hands immediately unclasping as the rumbling of Ryker's voice fell over her. His grey eyes bore down on her and a shiver ran up her spine from the contact, only keeping her sense enough to not backpedal away. Her mouth opened but an explanation wouldn't come to her lips; what could she really say she was doing instead?
“You what?”
“I must say, you don't seem the religious type, Sammy. This isn't the first time I've seen you put your hands together like that after all.” He gestured over his shoulder towards one of the cameras that were pointing towards the glass enclosure, his eyes never leaving Sammy's form.
She cursed internally. Since Ryker hadn't mentioned it up until now she figured it had either not been visible to the cameras or that he wasn't checking them regularly. Turns out, like the snake he was, he had just been waiting to catch her off guard in the act.
“Lost your train of thought? I get that. I forget what I’m saying half the time too.”
“I…got a soulmate…” She responded, brows furrowing with frustration and gaze pointed away from the doctor. She figured he would already know what that was— it wasn't like it was uncommon for humans after all— but his expression didn't change. He only dragged his notebook over to sit in front of him again, clicking his pen.
“And what does that entail? I presume it's some sort of link between you and a partner. Probably telepathic. How interesting…” Sammy could spy what seemed to be a genuinely curious look in his eyes and the hint of a smile playing at his lips. She had never seen him express much of any emotion besides anger before, and the fact that she didn't know what his smile meant frightened her.
As she was internally panicking over what that smile might mean for her, she snapped out of it when he spoke again.
“Well? Is it?” Sammy nodded, shrinking back when Ryker's excitement seemed to increase at her confirmation. “How intriguing. I noticed there was something a bit different about… hm.. but…”
He trailed off, just leaving Sammy with questions and no answers. She was nervous about putting her hands together again, unsure if that would get her in trouble. Ryker had gone through great lengths to completely shut her and Tanner off from any hope after all…
What if he tied my arms down? Or cut them off…or tied my arms to my torso… or…
“Go ahead and speak to them, her, him again. I want to watch more closely.” It wasn't a request. Sammy knew that much by now. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest as she shakily clasped her hands together, closing her eyes.
“H-hey. Sorry, I'm really fucking scared right now. I don't know if we'll be able to talk after this.” The words came from her faster than she could think them through, and she couldn't help but curse again at her panicked apology. “Shit.”
“Woah woah— what's wrong? Are you in danger?”
Sammy's eyes opened briefly, watching Ryker scribble away in his notebook again, recognizing that he was writing at the same pace that words were being shared. That's impossible. She closed her eyes, shoulders bunching up.
“No. Yes. Maybe. All of the above? I can't tell you. I don't know how, but I think he's listening.” The scribbling stopped abruptly for a couple seconds, before slowly starting up again. Sammy took a breath to calm her racing heart, angry tears pricking at the corners of her eyes at the fact that Ryker was once again taking something from her.
“Fuck you, this is private.” She flinched instinctively, waiting for a retaliation. When she didn't receive one she tried to sit up straight again, and noticed that her soulmate had gone quiet. “If I could explain, I would. But it's better if you forget me since I'm probably gonna die anyway.”
“I-I don't understand. I'm sure you're not gonna die, right? Just… it's gonna be okay, yeah? It will.” Sammy nearly groaned. She could tell that he probably thought she was just having a psychotic break or something, which as understandable as that was it was still incredibly frustrating.
“The bad man's name is Dr. Zorro Ryk—”
“That's enough of that.” Sammy cried out as she felt oversized fingers easily pry her hands apart, pinching onto her arm. Ryker was looking down at her with a cold gaze, his shadow enveloping her from above. “You are such an enigma, Sammy... I know you're a child, but sometimes you are so very intelligent and then you can be so incredibly stupid.”
“Let go!” She shouted, trying and failing to pull her arm away, staring at the fingers pinching it with a panicked gaze. Although the grip wasn't painful, it was still terrifying to feel something so large clamped around her limb. She knew that at any moment if Ryker decided to press down her arm would not work again.
“You— you got cut off again. I'm worried. Fuck, if I knew your name this would be much easier… Can you just tell me if you're okay? Please.” Sammy shut her eyes and shook her head— that soothing voice she had grown to enjoy now just tormenting her. Teasing her with what she knew she couldn't have.
It's always too good to be true.
“If you knew I was listening, why would you say that? Do you not have a brain in that tiny little body, hm? Because someone with a brain would not throw away their chances of communication so readily..!” He snapped, tone scolding and yet it still frightened Sammy enough to make her tremble.
“People who do not think are just corpses walking. Get that through your skull… What were you expecting to happen? No one is going to help you. Do you understand that? It doesn't matter if they know that name or not.” He growled. “Not only that, but you didn't even consider your soulmate's safety. You don't know the nature of how I'm listening. What if I knew who he was and killed him because of what you said?”
Sammy's face paled at that, tears welling in her eyes and blurring her vision.
“Don’t!”
His eyes narrowed at her, and although his frustration grew his fingers never once changed the amount of pressure on her arm. Sammy was too distressed to really notice that though, just trying to pull away again. The finger then moved, forcing her to stumble forwards with a yelp.
“Or what? You know you cannot stop me. How many times do I have to tell you not to make demands of people you can't handle yourself.” Sammy felt herself getting tugged forwards again, and her breathing quickened, really believing he was going to crush her hand or arm to prevent her from speaking to her soulmate again. She shut her eyes tightly.
“M-mum…” She whimpered under her breath as some tears spilled over. At the end of the day, it didn't matter how many years passed or how tough she liked to act or how many injuries she had acquired… She was still scared.
The grip on her arm suddenly disappeared and she lost her balance, immediately crumbling to the ground and burying her face into her arms, facing away from the doctor as she hiccuped. The silence only lasted a few seconds but it felt like minutes to Sammy…
Ryker cleared his throat.
“If you speak to him again, you will wish you never had. Understood?”
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rachetmath · 4 months
Text
Jaune Revenge
Winter: Ruby we found her.
Ruby: Cinder. Everyone it's time.
Yang: Ruby no-
Ruby: I have to stop her. I am the only one.
Jaune: What?
Ruby: It has to be me.
Jaune: Who the hell- who the hell decided that?!
Ruby: She is my problem.
Jaune: I know this- oh hell no she- Ruby!
Ruby: Farewell my friend. I pray that I return.
Jaune: Oh hell-
After a minute what seemed like hours of fighting.
Cinder: Yes finally.
Ruby: *barely catching her breath*
Cinder: After all this time… you finally die Ruby R-
*Boom*
Cinder: *screams in pain*
Ruby: *looks behind her* Jaune. 
Jaune: *throws the gun away and slaps Ruby across her face* The f*** is wrong with you?!
Ruby Ow.
Jaune: You really think I would let you steal my prey? My kill? After all the bull**** that b**** put me through. The f***!
Ruby: Jaune I-
Jaune: I had dreams. Dreams of when I have this b**** in my sights. As her life is now in the palm of my hands. Having her beg for forgiveness has I take what little breath she has from her now feeble hands. Oh God yes… 
Ruby: …. Um
Jaune: And have you learned nothing from your people? Penny? Pyrrha? Alyx?!
Ruby: Whoa Jaune don't be–
Jaune: Stop running off somewhere, prepared to die. We do not do 1 v 1. We jump people. It is the most effective means to win. You are not built for that kind of time. There is no shame in having a squad, especially for enemies.
Ruby: But-
Jaune: Like your uncle, he sucks. He has lost a one-on-one every time since Beacon. Winter, hit him. Tyrian poisoned him. Hazel could have ended his career.  Your uncle needed two other hunters to take Tyrian in. He even required Tyrian to fight Clover. Your uncle isn't about that action. 
Ruby: Well sheesh…
Jaune: Now you excuse me- *pulls out the sword* I will finish this.
Cinder: You weakling. You piece of crap. What are you going to do to me huh? Kill me. Don't make me laugh. You don't have the- *stab in her arm* Ah! *mouths is covered*
Jaune: Oh no Fall maiden, we are just getting started. 
Cinder: *scared*
Nora: Ruby, sorry we’re late but-
Cinder: *screams in agony* My legs! My legs!
RWBY: *shock*
Jaune: Nah-nah we ain't done yet. This is for Pyrrha.*beats Cinder down*
Cinder: *yells in pain* Help me! Help me! Ruby help me! Please!
NERO: *scared*
Jaune This one's for Penny! *Stab Cinder's chest*
Cinder:  *screams*
Jaune: *healing and stabbing Cinder repeatedly* No, you gonna feel this. Yeah. Yeah!!
NPRA: *Summer and Alyx are shocked while Pyrrha and Penny fist pump*
RHAW: *Glad they never met Jaune*
Adam: Oh it was good that I didn't try to fight him on the train.
Hazel: Even though I know I can beat him…. It scares me that he could have a chance of killing me himself. 
Ironwood: Oh so he finally learned. Thank God. 
Clover: Sir please-
Ironwood: We died because of these kids, Clover, I have a right to be like this.
Cinder: No. No. Not my eye. Not my last eye, please! *screams as her eye is pulled out*
Salem: *watching from a far* Oo she will die. Not my problem.
Jaune: *exiles* 
Cinder: *dead* 
Jaune: Finally. And Oscar.
Oscar: Um… yeah-yeah what is it?
Jaune: Are you Ozpin now?
Oscar: N-no. Nope. I'm still here.
Jaune: Your girl. Your problem. I am tired of being the third wheel. The seventh wheel really.
Weiss: I mean -
Jaune: Figure out what you want in life then we'll talk.
Emerald: Oh my God I have maiden powers. I was Cinder’s last thoughts. I-
Jaune: *readies his sword*
Emerald: Jaune-Jaune calm down. We are good. We are good. Best behavior.
Jaune: You damn right b****.
Emerald: Jesus what have you been through on that island?!
Jaune: Isolation is a b****!
Cinder: *in hell and curled up in a ball*
Rogue: How was your freedom as a slave?
Cinder: Shut up. And why are you here?
Hazel: Are you serious? He left you unsupervised, and in a family where you were put through extreme work conditions to survive. 
Adam: You were a slave and the only thing he did was train you. 
Roman: He didn't even get you out. He abandoned you. He is a monster.
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