#let's be real Buck could turn around and do this to Eddie too and would get the same reaction

[letmetellyouaboutmyfeels]

Eddie: I will now torture you. Buck: Kinky. Eddie: You're a good person worthy of love. Buck: Um. Eddie: You are more than your mistakes and you deserve second chances. Buck: Wait. Eddie: You are a valued member of the family. Buck: I NEED A SAFEWORD.

[munsonsmixtapes]

Say Don't Go

Evan "Buck" Buckley x fem!reader

summary: tensions rise between you and Buck as you find out that he works for you uncle and he learns you're Bobby's niece, forcing the two of you to make a decision on where your relationship stands

word count: 3k

part one part three part four part five part six

Buck could not believe it. The first woman he was attracted to in months was Bobby’s niece? He really was always getting dealt a shit hand. He was going to ask you out on an official date and bring you flowers and shower you with compliments and make stupid jokes to make the both of you less nervous. He supposed now that it was only a pipe dream. And all because you were related to his boss. 

“Bobby, I didn’t know you had a niece,” Buck spoke up, trying to seem nonchalant, as if he didn’t feel like he was going to throw up. And he did, the idea of running to the restroom sounding real inviting. 

“She’s my sister’s kid,” Bobby replied, pulling you into his side in a protective manner then pointed at the man. “Don’t get any ideas, Buck,” he said with a wink, but the threat seemed very serious. Too bad the ship had already sailed and was on the verge of sinking. 

You eyed Buck and shook your head as if to tell him to not come any closer. You wanted to speak to him about the whole situation, but you couldn’t without everyone noticing that the two of you had disappeared and jumped to their own conclusions. You were going to have to meet on your own time to avoid suspicions. Especially Bobby’s. 

The man had become very protective of you since the day you were born and would continue to do so until he took his last breath. Since your father was never in the picture, he felt the need to step up and be exactly what you needed. He was there for everything: your first steps, helping you ride a bike without training wheels, your first date. Yes, he sat in the back row of the movie theater, watching the two of you like a hawk, making sure the kid didn’t try anything. 

Bobby would not have been happy if he found out that Buck had even looked at you in a flirty manner let alone slept with you. It wasn’t that he didn’t think that Buck wasn’t fit to be your boyfriend, but more like any man wasn’t fit for the role. 

You eyed Buck practically the entire time but tried not to draw attention to yourself as you did it. Tension was rising and you really hoped that no one else could see it. Especially since you were the guest of honor and couldn’t fade into the background like you desperately wanted to. 

“Everyone,” Bobby stood behind you, resting his hands on your shoulders. “This is my niece, y/n. And I expect you all to welcome her as an honorary member of the 118. She’s going to be here for a while. Y/n, this is Hen and her wife Karen,” he pointed to the Black woman who was standing next to Buck. She gave you a hug and you were quick to return it. “And Buck and his sister, Maddie.” You looked at Buck and didn’t miss the look on his face as your eyes glanced at him to look at his sister. His face was white. Almost as if he had seen a ghost. You ignored it for the moment and tried your best to listen to Bobby’s introductions of his team. “And that’s Chimney,” Bobby gestured to the Asian man who was on Buck’s other side. Oh, you so had to hear the backstory about that nickname. “And Eddie and his son, Christopher.” You turned your attention to one of the most beautiful men you had ever seen and a young boy who was using crutches. 

Hugs were all passed around as you were introduced and you all mingled as you sipped on your drinks, waiting for dinner to be ready. You got into a conversation with Maddie about nursing, but you couldn’t help but let your eyes wander to her brother who had been in what looked a deep conversation with Eddie. You couldn’t help but feel like word about your night together was somehow going to get to your uncle and you didn’t even know why you cared so much. You were an adult now and really had no reason to hide to from Bobby. Maybe he’d be a little upset at first, but he’d come around. 

“So, that’s the girl you hooked up with the other night?” Eddie asked, holding back a laugh. It was just too good, almost like the plot of a telanovela he’d watched with Christopher. Of course something like that would have happened to Buck. That sounded exactly like something that would have happened to him. 

“Yes,” Buck nodded. 

“And she’s Bobby’s niece?” All Buck could do was glare at Eddie. It was almost as if he wasn't listening at all. And for once, this was a very serious matter. His life was doomed as he knew it and Eddie was just laughing it off as if it was all just a big joke. And Buck supposed that maybe it was.

“Yes. Weren’t you listening?” He was now on edge, for whatever reason, feeling paranoid that Bobby had been listening even though the man was all the way across the room joking around with Michael.

“Hey, relax," Eddie pat his friend's shoulder. Sometimes Buck just really needed to relax. "I’m just making sure I’m getting the facts right. I can't believe that out of all of the people in Los Angeles that you slept with Bobby's niece. Oh, Chim is gonna get a kick out of this."

Eddie burst into laughter, really getting a kick out of his friend's pain, but he couldn't help it. It was all just too funny to not laugh a little at the unfortunate events of his friend's life. He was just happy that he wasn't in Buck's shoes.

“But you're not gonna tell Chim," he gave Eddie a warning look. "This secret dies with us. And I swear if you tell Bobby-" Both of the men knew that whatever threat came out of Buck's mouth would be empty, but Eddie wanted to know what would have been in store for him if he had broken his promise.

“You’ll do what, Buck?” He crossed his arms over his chest, tilting his head to the side in curiosity.

“I don’t know, but It’ll be bad.”

“Sure, whatever you say, buddy." Eddie gave his shoulder a pat as Bobby had everyone gather around before they all sat down to eat.

“Alright, everyone dinner is served and before we sit, I’d to make a toast,” Bobby spoke up and you could see his eyes getting misty already. “The moment I held you after you were born, I knew that you’d be destined for greatness,” he started and you knew that his speech was going to be a tear jerker just like always. 

“I remember when you were three and insisted on fixing my “wounds” with your little doctor’s kit that I had gotten you for Christmas. You told me that you were going to be a nurse and save lives and look at you now. You graduated nursing school and got a job at your first choice hospital. I’m so proud of you, kiddo. So, if everyone would raise their glasses.” Everyone did as they asked as Bobby raised his own that was filled with soda. “To y/n,” he said. 

“To y/n,” everyone repeated and they all clinked their glasses together before cheering, giving you a round of applause. After the excitement died down, everyone sat down at the table, the only spot available being the one to the left of you that Buck was reluctant to occupy. 

“Oh-“ he said, cutting himself off and everyone was quick to turn to him. To them, it was just the only available seat. To you and Buck, though, it was more than that. If he sat next to you, the awkward tension would only rise and Buck really didn’t want to make it all about him when this was your party. 

“You can sit there, Buck,” Bobby told him. “Y/n doesn’t bite.” Buck’s mind immediately flashed to a couple of nights ago when you had done just that. When you had actually bitten him and been the cause of the healing hickey on his neck. 

“Yeah, Buck,” youpulled the chair out for him to take a seat. “I don’t bite,” you winked, a joke just between the two of you. Buck hesitantly sat next to you, being very obvious unlike you. He might as well have just told the entire table that the two of you had slept together while he was at it. 

“So, y/n,” Hen spoke up. “What’s your position at the hospital?” 

“Labor and delivery,” you told her. You always loved the idea of bringing new life into the world and after doing a few residencies and following nurses around who did just that, you knew that was the career for you. 

“That’s so admirable,” Hen smiled warmly. Just from what Bobby had told her about you, she was sure that you were going to do really well in the medical field. That you were a hard worker and never took no for an answer. “I’m sure you’re going to do great.” 

“Well, thank you. And thank you, Robert, for this amazing celebration,” you gestured to the all of the nurse themed decorations all over the main level of the house and even out on the patio where you were all sitting. 

“That was actually all Athena,” Bobby corrected, feeling like he should’ve let his wife take the credit for all the hard work she put in to make the house look nice. 

“Well, thank you, Athena,” you turned to the woman she nodded enthusiastically, wanting you to know just how much she enjoyed planning the entire thing for you, knowing that it meant a lot to Bobby because of how close he was to you. 

“Of course,” she replied. “It was my absolute pleasure.” 

You looked around at everyone sitting at the table and despite not knowing most of them, you felt but nothing but loved sitting at that table, discussing everything and nothing as you all ate the meal that Bobby prepared for you all. You had felt alone your entire life, only having Scarlett, your mom, and Bobby as your family and now all of the people he had been closest to were welcoming you into their world with open arms, and you couldn’t help but feel more lucky. 

You hesitantly turned to Buck and noticing him picking around his plate, the dish almost full signifying that he hadn’t really eaten anything. And you didn’t blame him. You hadn’t much of an appetite either considering the whole situation and for a second there, you completely had forgotten about him. It seemed that neither of you had the best luck in the dating apartment, so of course, as fate would have it, you couldn’t be together. Or more like shouldn’t considering the whole situation. It would have just been weird and awkward and maybe it would have just been for the best if you just left it at a one night stand. 

Dinner came to a close and by the end of it, you were all sharing funny stories from your careers and just from the one meal you had with them, you knew you were going to enjoy spending more time with them. Maybe if you asked Bobby, you all could have had more meals together like you had heard they did at the 118. You would have really enjoyed that. You were really looking forward to having a real family. 

The members of the 118 all lingered at the door like usual, all hesitant to go back to their homes. All except Buck. He was getting antsy to get the hell out of there and to probably never speak to you again. He could run into a burning building without batting an eye, but when it came to his personal life, all he wanted to do was run away. He absolutely hated confrontation and was going to avoid the inevitable as long as possible.

He looked at you, watching you laugh with his sister and could easily see the three of you getting together for dinner. You'd sit next to him and his hand would reach for yours and you'd give him a warm smile as Maddie looked at the both of you, so happy that her brother had finally real, true love.

The dream quickly faded away as Buck accepted that he was going to let you slip through his fingers. The whole thing was just too complicated and he wasn't going to put you through all of that, especially since you were just getting started with your career. You already had too much on your plate and he didn't think there was enough room for him.

"Right, Buck?" Bobby asked, giving his shoulder a pat and Buck turned to the man in confusion, not even aware that he was even being spoken to.

"I'm sorry, what?" You were still swirling around in his mind even though he was trying hard to focus on what Bobby had been saying.

"You're coming in on time tomorrow, right?" He had still been teasing about him being late a couple of days ago and Buck just rolled his eyes. Now he didn't have a reason to be late anymore and he kind of hated it.

"Yes sir," Buck nodded. "Good night, Bobby."

"Good night, Buck." Bobby gave his shoulder a squeeze and Buck gave you one last look before turning on his heel to head to his jeep.

You watched Buck walk to his vehicle, wondering why he had said goodbye to everyone but you. What, so he found out that you were Bobby's niece and now he was giving you the silent treatment? How was that fair? Maybe everything that happened that night was all part of an act and now he was just showing you his true self.

So maybe that night wasn't as special to you as it was to him. You had even considered asking him out, but now you guessed you had just dogged a bullet. He was just like the other's and at least this one saved you the headache by ghosting you instead of pursuing you only to show no interest in you the entire duration the relationship. You supposed it saved you some tissues knowing who he was from the get go.

One week later

You pulled up to the fire station, feeling anger course through you as you put Scarlett's car in park. You had tried to reach out to Buck multiple times since the party only to be met by nothing but silence. Even if nothing happened between the two of you, you felt like you at least deserved an explanation. Didn't your feelings matter too? Apparently not to him.

So, you decided to show up the one place he couldn't run from so you could have a conversation with him. You weren't sure how you were going to do that with all those people around, but you'd figure things out. You always did.

You marched into the station, scanning the place for Buck and noticed that everyone was surrounding the engine, wiping it down or cleaning the interior. Eddie was the first to spot you and he pointed wordlessly to the other side of the engine, assuming that you were there for Buck.

You rounded the back of the engine and made a beeline for the man, grabbing onto his arm, pulling him somewhere more private, deciding that right by the bathrooms was really the only spot that was as out of sight as you could get. You stopped there and Buck could practically see the flames forming in your eyes because of how angry you were. Women had been mad at him more times than he could count, but never like that. If looks could kill, he definitely would have been dead.

"You're an asshole," you told him, trying your best not to yell. For once, Buck was very aware of the hurt he had caused. And now he was paying for it. With the way you were balling your fists, you looked like you were going to punch him, and for the first time, he was going to take it because he felt like he deserved it.

"Am I?" He asked, cocking his head to the side. Buck didn't know why he was being such a dick, but now he felt like he had stick with it since he had already committed to the role. He honestly wasn't expecting you to show up. The most he ever got was an angry phone call. Perhaps you showing up was a sign that you weren't willing to give up on him like everyone else.

"Yes!" Your voice was a little loud, but you couldn't have cared less. He deserved to know just how angry you were and for once, you didn't care about embarrassing him. That was the least he deserved.

"I had a really nice time with you. You made me feel special. I hadn't slept with anyone in a long time and I trusted you. I trusted you, Evan. And then you find out that Bobby's my uncle and you run? If you didn't want to see me again, the least you could have done was told me. But no, you're nothing but a coward."

Bobby stood on the other side of the wall, listening to the entire thing. He hadn't meant to eavesdrop, but he had left the restroom just as you and Buck went to block the exit and he couldn't have passed without revealing that he had heard everything and he couldn't have that. At least, not yet. Tension was already high and he didn't want to make it worse.

Bobby didn't know what was worse, hearing that you had slept with Buck, or the fact that he made you cry. So not only did the guy sleep with you, but he also completely ghosted you and hurt your feelings. That was three strikes so Buck was out. At least, for the near future. Just as you were leaving, the sirens went off, signaling that there was a call.

Buck tried to follow you, but Eddie stopped him and Buck watched you leave from over Eddie's shoulder. Eddie turned him around and pushed Buck towards the engine, but Bobby stopped him.

"I'm benching you today, Buck." Maybe it was wrong of him to bring his personal life into work, but nobody was allowed to hurt his little girl. Not even Buck. Especially not Buck.

"Why?" Buck didn't like the assumption his brain was coming to and he really didn't like being benched after being yelled at by a girl he really liked.

"I'm the captain and what I say goes. The dishes really need to be done, so could you take care of that?" With that, Bobby got into the engine and both it and the truck pulled out of the station, leaving Buck with nothing but his thoughts and a sink full of dishes that needed to be done.

[queerweewoo]

“Shit.” 

Eddie mutters the curse under his breath when he can't seem to release the clasp on his St. Christopher chain.

He'd plopped himself down next to Buck after arriving home from dropping off his fourteen-year-old budding socialite at a friend's house, having already kicked off his boots and hooking an arm around Buck's still crossed-at-the-ankle legs, getting comfy with them resting over his lap—well, his lap and the arm of the sofa, because Buck has the longest pair of pins in the whole frickin world.

“Nope, I'm afraid shit can't possibly be the answer to seven down, Eddie, because even though it starts with an ‘S’, and the third letter is definitely an ‘I’, twelve across has got to be 'Skating', which would make the second letter a ‘K’,” Buck says with mock-seriousness as Eddie is still attempting to take off his chain. “And anyways, I don't really think the answer to the clue ‘Dermis’ could legitimately be shit, not by any stretch of the imagination; ‘Dermis’ sounds too… I dunno. Scientific? Medical?”

Eddie snorts his amusement at Buck, and Buck grins back at him with that particular twinkle in his eye that Eddie has come to think of as belonging to him.

He really tries his best not to be possessive over his best friend, knows he has no right to anything like that, but Eddie can't help being in love with Buck, no matter how much he wishes he wasn't.

Eddie's been fighting his desires his entire life, regardless of the fact he knows there isn't a damn thing wrong with being gay. But growing up in Texas, with a family as traditional as his own? It means Eddie hasn't ever felt entitled to getting the things he wants in life.

Buck must notice Eddie struggling, then, because he immediately drops his pen and the crossword puzzle book Eddie picked up for him yesterday at the newspaper stand near the firehouse, and is now swinging his legs off the sofa so he can scooch further up to Eddie, until he's almost on top of Eddie, and is saying, “Here, let me get that for you, Eds.”

Eddie freezes.

He knows he should shoo Buck away like he's supposed to, do the right thing, but ever since Buck started dating Tommy—and ever since Buck broke up with Tommy—Eddie's been pretty bad at being well-behaved around Buck.

Buck doesn't exactly make things easy, though. Never has, truth be told. He's always been a really tactile kind of guy, and right now his tactile nature is trying to murder Eddie, dead, dead, dead.

“Lemme just…” Buck's tongue is poking out of his mouth and resting against his bottom lip in concentration—and Eddie knows he should look away but can't—and then he's leaning right into Eddie's space, like he goddamn belongs there and, oh god, Eddie can't take this. He can't. He can't fucking breathe let alone act like this isn't bothering him, like it isn't turning him on like he's a horny teenager again, like this isn't everything he wants and has dreamed of. “Eds, just… lean forward a little would you, so I can—a little bit more, man, c'mon, don't be shy, I just need to…”

Buck really is on top of Eddie now, big arms wrapped around Eddie's head, musky cologne in Eddie's nostrils and warm breath in the shell of Eddie's super-sensitive ear and fuck, he's practically straddling Eddie now, right thigh pushed up against Eddie's junk, oh hell, and Eddie is panting softly and only about two seconds away from moaning his best friend's name like the pathetic hot mess that he is, Jesus fucking Christ.

“Got it,” Buck mutters, and just as he goes to lean back and pull away from Eddie, Eddie hears his internal monologue say: Yeah, I've got it real bad. 

Then something just—snaps inside of his brain before it's shutting down completely and his heart is in his throat as he finds himself whispering, “Screw it,” while he grabs onto both of Bucks biceps with purpose because he's terrified that if he doesn't, they might leave him forever.

“Wait,” he says. Pleads. 

Buck's right thigh is snug against Eddie's left one, the other still in Eddie's lap, his gorgeous face right there next to Eddie's, so close Eddie can almost feel the prickle of Buck's stubble.

“Eds?” Buck whispers, and his breath is mingling with Eddie's and Eddie hasn't prayed for a long, long time, but he's praying now; praying that he's not about to fuck up the best thing, bar Christopher, that has ever happened to him; praying for redemption; praying that Buck might want Eddie even just a fraction of the amount Eddie wants Buck.

His voice breaks when he says the only thing he can. “Don't go.”

Eddie wants this so, so badly, just this one thing, that's all he's asking for, and he's willing to beg for it if he has to—swears he'll never ask for anything again as long as he fucking lives.

“I'm not, Eds, I'm…” Buck trails off, frowning a little. He swallows audibly and licks at those sinful lips that are right fucking there and then says, “What, um—w-what exactly do you mean by 'don't go', Eddie?”

Eddie's heart is thumping so hard against his ribcage it feels as if it's going to burst right out of his chest, and Buck has to be able to feel it too because his solid chest is pressed up firmly against Eddie's, and Eddie can't believe he's doing this and seriously might just pass the fuck out any minute now—

“I don't…” Eddie shakes his head.

Fuck.

Is he really doing this?

“You don't know? Or you don't want me to go—like, as in go home?” Buck's asking. Eddie can't breathe. “Or do you mean, like, go, uh, g-go away from—from right here?” Buck swallows again and Eddie has never wanted anything more than to lick a long stripe up that prominent Adam's Apple of Buck's. “Do you mean don't go from this, Eds? From… from you.” And that last part doesn't sound like a question, it sounds like Buck gets it, and like he isn't horrified by the idea or amused by it or as if he's pitying or mocking Eddie.

Unbelievably, it actually sounds a little like Buck might just want Eddie, too.

Eddie screws his eyes shut, and all he can manage to say is, “Yeah, Buck. The last one.”

Buck is then slowly, gently, sliding his cheek up and down Eddie's, and Eddie finally knows exactly how it feels to have that stubble dragging against his own and there is no fucking way on Earth he could hold in the almost sob-like breath that leaves his lips as Buck's line themself up with Eddie's trembling mouth.

He's gripping Buck's arms so tightly he's scared he might leave bruises there but can feel Buck smiling as he says, “Can I, Eddie? Please?”

Is this really happening?

“Fuck yes,” Eddie urges, and then Buck is kissing him; slowly; gently, and with so much of something that feels like it could be love that Eddie wants to cry.

Then Buck's pulling away, yet not really away because it's only barely enough to let Eddie swallow the boulder-sized lump in his throat and try to catch his breath—only he doesn't quite manage to catch the tear that escapes the corner of his left eye. Somehow, though, that's okay, because Buck kisses that, too—and Eddie finds himself letting it all go, then, and smiling back at the man he's been in love with for almost six years as he cries, because he can finally feel all the colours of the rainbow on his face.

“Eddie, you have no fucking idea how long I've wanted to do that,” Buck chuckles, and Eddie leans in and tilts his own head back slightly and Buck's down a little to press lips against Buck's birthmark, smiling like a fool through his tears.

Buck puts his arms fully around Eddie's shoulders and hugs him, tight.

Eddie just breathes him in until he feels settled enough to look at Buck without welling up again.

“Skin,” Buck says then, bringing his hands to Eddie's face and holding it, brushing thumb pads along Eddie's cheeks and drying his tears because he wants to, and can. Eddie squints in slight confusion at the word, before Buck's revealing the meaning behind it, telling him, “Seven down, Eds, it just came to me: It was the word skin. Yours is—man, it's even smoother than I'd imagined. So, so beautiful. You're beautiful.”

“God, I fucking love you, Buck,” Eddie blurts, because he can't help it. “I'm—I'm in love with you, Evan, and I just—I'm sorry it's taken me so long to tell you that, taken me too long to get my shit together and pull my head out of my—”

“Beautiful, insanely perfect ass,” Buck laughs, and then he's kissing Eddie again, like they've been doing this forever, and Eddie's kissing him back and laughing, too.

“Stay,” Eddie begs between kisses. “Stay forever, Buck.”

Buck looks at Eddie like a man in love and says, “I'm in love with you too, Eds. So, yeah, sure, I can do forever,” he promises.

And Buck always keeps his promises. 

.

happy pride to my beautiful firefam 🌈

(unedited pls forgive me!)

[diazsdimples]

bucktommy + "To be fair, that wasn't the stupidest thing I could've done"

"To be fair, that wasn't the stupidest thing I could've done," Buck pants as he leans against the cool, brick wall. He pulls off his helmet and runs his fingers through his hair, knowing he's likely smeared soot all over his face. The building is still smouldering behind them, but Eddie and Ravi both have the hoses directed towards the flames. It's under control. Tommy looks like he could explode. His boyfriend is usually very calm and level headed, perfect traits for a first responder, but right now he looks set to rip Buck's head off. "Wasn't the stupidest - you could have - Evan, are you fucking kidding me?" Eddie and Ravi's heads turn towards the outburst and Buck winces, not wanting their first proper fight as a couple to be on full display for all their coworkers to witness. He grabs Tommy's arm and pulls him around the side of the building, away from any flapping ears. "Tommy, it's okay, I'm fine. She's fine. We're fine," he reassures Tommy as he reaches into the pocket of his turnout and pulls out the reason behind his sudden expedition into a burning building without a second's thought. The kitten is tiny in his hands, her fur rumpled and soot smudges over the beautiful, white coat. When the little girl he and Tommy had pulled from the building had said her kitten was still stuck inside the inferno, Buck hadn't hesitated before sprinting back into the building, not even with Bobby, Tommy and Eddie all yelling at him. He just hadn't anticipated Tommy to follow him back in. "Yeah but you could have been not fine! I agreed to help this shift as a favour to Bobby, not so I could get a front row seat to my boyfriend burning alive!" Buck swallows thickly and transfers the kitten into one hand so he can reach out to cup Tommy's face with the other. Tommy doesn't meet his eye, instead looking resolutely behind Buck. His jaw ticks as Buck strokes along his cheekbone with his thumb. "Tommy, I-I'm not going to burn alive. I was just gonna get her and come right back," he explains. Tommy's got to understand, right? Buck's a professional, he'd never do anything to put himself in any real danger. If he thought he couldn't get to the kitten before the building collapsed or got too hot then he would never have set foot in it. Tommy finally meets Buck's eyes then, and Buck is alarmed to see that his eyes are swimming behind a film of tears. Fuck, he's really fucked up here hasn't he? "Tommy, I-" "I can't lose you, Evan," Tommy cuts in, circling a hand around Buck's wrist and lowering his hand from Tommy's jaw. "Not like that." Buck swallows again, and he must tighten his grip on the kitten because she lets out a pitiful meow, her tiny tongue rasping against his glove as she licks at him. "I'm sorry," he whispers, hanging his head as the gravity of the situation washes over him. Tommy thought he was going to lose Buck. Tommy thought Buck was going to die. "I didn't mean to scare you." Tommy curls his fingers under Buck's chin and lifts his head, forcing eye contact. "I know you didn't, I just - baby, you mean so much to me," Tommy says, his voice raw and choked with emotion as he searches Buck's face, his eyes drinking in every inch of Buck as if he's worried it's the last time he'll be able to see him again. "Please, please don't ever do that again." "I won't, Tommy, I swear I won't," Buck promises, and he leans forwards to kiss Tommy softly. Tommy responds instantly, wrapping his arm around Buck's waist and pulling him close. Their lips move in tandem with one another, Tommy running his tongue along the seam of Buck's lips until he opens, and Buck licking back in apology. "Hey," Buck says as they pull away, resting their foreheads together. "I love you." Tommy huffs out a small laugh and kisses Buck again, lighter this time but no less emotionally charged. "I love you too."

Send me a ship and a sentence and I'll finish it!

(once again tagging @theotherbuckley)

[rosyhoneydew]

I'll Cover You

Written for @bucktommypositivityweek | Week 2, Day 2: Scenes from a firetruck | cw for mentions of dissociation, flashbacks

I wrote two entries for today! If mildly steamy fluff is more your vibe it's here -> Stolen Moment

The winds are strong, even days after the tornado’s long gone.

Buck hadn’t seen anything like it before. Tornadoes, sure, but the kind of large-scale damage that came from an invasive cloud of bees droning en masse and descending on the city like a plague? A first. He’s nursing a sting or two himself for a few days.

It’s almost a relief to get called on scene two days later. Almost. Because while plane crashes are, at least, familiar, they’re still grueling.

All things considered, it’s not as bad as it could’ve been. The 737 went down on land this time, but it had only barely made it off the ground before taking a nosedive back onto the tarmac. The passengers were buckled in and the drop itself wasn’t too big. So yeah, they got pretty lucky.

They’re still on the scene now. Hen and Eddie are working at the cockpit last he knew, Chim’s somewhere in the med bay here with him, working on a bigger trauma. Buck’s been handling some of the lower grade injuries and he’s cool, really. Yeah it would be nice to be out there, doing the big boy stuff, but they’ve got a new captain and he’s learning to pick his battles.

He’s just finishing wrapping up a kid’s ankle. He can’t be more than 7 but he’s been so brave, holding his little sister’s hand to keep her from crying. He’s got the elastic bandage just in place when the wind rips the kid’s jacket from where it was draped on his shoulders and under the 217’s truck.

“I gotcha!” he reassures the kid quick. “One sec, you stay right here for me, okay?”

Buck shuffles over to the truck in a walk-run and bends down low to peek underneath. It would probably be easier to grab the jacket from the other side, but he’s already here so he just finishes ducking down, crawls under and reaches out for the corner of the fabric.

He’s still under the truck when the next big wind hits. It leaves the truck shaking and groaning around him. Buck freezes. It feels like all logical thought in his brain shuts off.

The truck isn’t going to tip over. He’s not stuck. If he had the presence of mind he could wiggle his toes, even. But there’s something about being under here, hearing the voices around him, it has him tense all over. He can’t move.

When he looks back on it, he’ll wonder why it set him off. It’s not nighttime, there are no kids with bombs strapped to them, it’s not like he was even under the truck when it tipped last time. It’s a fluke, almost. But it can’t be helped. He’s petrified.

—

Tommy honestly thought his first call working with the 118’s A-shift would have had a little more novelty, but it’s just been long. He’s happy to see Evan, of course, but he hardly sees him. He’s been over in the med bay for the last couple of hours that Tommy’s been teamed up with Viera, pulling passengers out of the wreck.

He had at least been able to drop off an older woman directly to Evan about an hour ago.

Well, Patricia, it looks like your day is looking up! You’re in good hands with this one. He’ll patch you up real good.

Ahh, my job’s the easy part. You’re just lucky firefighter pilot Kinard was here to save you.

She’d only had a sprained wrist, but Tommy had watched them from afar for a minute, ever impressed with the way Evan kept her calm, reassurances and jokes taking the fear out of her eyes. He has to turn back before long, but he lets that moment carry him through the next push. He’s going home to that man.

He’s jogging back to check in at base when he hears crying to his right. There’s a kid standing still, holding the hand of a little girl and he’s wailing at the sky. That doesn’t seem right. Tommy’s eyes track around the area and he spots boots sticking out of the side of their truck. Definitely not right. He changes course, picking up his speed as he approaches the kids.

“Hey, bud, you okay?” He’s got his hands on the boy’s shoulders, grounding him, hopefully. “You hurting anywhere?”

The kid coughs out a few more sobs in Tommy’s face, but he shakes his head. He looks like he’s willing himself not to be scared. Jesus, kids are resilient.

“Alright, that’s good, I’m going to check on my friend here, you gonna be okay for a minute?” A nod. Good.

Tommy turns his attention to the truck behind him, lays flat, knocking his helmet off in the process. The guy’s not moving, but Tommy’s not able to figure out at a glance what happened here. There’s no gas leak, no threat to public safety over here.

“You good, man?” he calls out.

The body of the guy twitches. Not dead. That’s good. He clears his throat.

“Can you feel your feet? I can try to move you but I need to know if you’ve got any injuries I should watch out for.”

No response. Okay. Time to change tack.

Tommy rights himself and walks to the other side of the truck, resuming position on the asphalt. He shuffles in a little closer and finally gets a look at the guy’s face.

Evan. It’s Evan.

“Evan?” he says. He’s not sure it comes out as much more than a breath.

Evan’s eyes do flick to his then, but there’s still something distant in his gaze. He’s dissociated. It comes to mind then, the stories told at happy hours and trivia nights, and the ones told only in the sanctuary that is their bedroom. They're good stories, but Tommy knows better than most the toll that kind of shit can take on a person. Evan's having a flashback.

“Alright, alright, baby,” Tommy says under his breath. He’s not sure Evan would hear him even if he spoke up. He looks pretty gone.

Tommy scoots half a foot closer, puts both palms flat to the ground.

“Evan,” he starts, “can you do this with your hands? Just like mine.” He flexes his hands a bit to demonstrate.

Evan’s own hands are balled up. It looks like he army crawled under here. His arms are bent at his sides, curled in tight half under his body. He blinks a few times.

“Your hands, Evan.” Tommy picks his own up and places them back down again. “Just like this.”

Evan mirrors the movements.

“Good job, that’s perfect.”

“Kinard?” He hears from behind him.

“We’re good here, Sloane.” Who knows if she’ll believe him; she’s a damn good secondary when they’re in the air but she’s nosy as all get-out.

He hears the sound of her turnouts rustling as she shifts around, deciding whether to stay or go.

“Sloane. I got this. Can you round back to the kids on the other side? I’m going to be here a minute.”

He hears the sound of boots squeaking behind him as she does what he asks. Okay, Ev, just you and me.

Evan’s fingertips are curling, his eyes pinched closed.

“Ev, sweetheart, look at me.” He does. “I’m gonna grab your arm okay? Then we can work on getting you over here. Sound good?”

There’s no response, but that’s okay. Tommy’s going real slow. He reaches out and places a sure hand on Evan’s arm.

“Can you push yourself toward me?”

His eyes close again and for a second Tommy falters, mentally jumping two steps back to figure out a different path forward. But then Evan pushes. He digs the meat of his hand into the ground and uses the leverage to slide his body toward Tommy.

“Just like that. Exactly like that.”

He’s close enough now that Tommy can reach his shoulder. He gets a good grip and rolls Evan the rest of the way, pulling him up to sitting once he’s on his back and out from under the belly of the truck. He watches as Evan scrambles to pull his feet out.

Tommy’s got him sat in between the V of his legs, one arm around his waist, and brings the other up to Evan’s face, pushing the damp hair off his forehead. They’re tucked in between trucks, so the sound of commotion from the continued efforts of the other houses is muffled. The loudest thing he can hear is their panting, both going a little boneless with relief.

Tommy places a kiss to Evan’s temple. He’s sweaty there too. He feels Evan’s breathing slow down a bit, but he’s reluctant to break the quiet. He’s not sure that Evan’s flashbacks are like his, everyone’s a little different, but he sometimes needs the silence after. Just to collect himself. So he gives that to Evan, too.

“Did- did you get it?” Evan finally says, startling Tommy just a bit.

“Get it?”

“The jacket.” He’s smoothing his palms over his pants; nervous habit.

Tommy stretches his neck to look behind him, sees the blue rain jacket lying there. He can pinch it with his fingers from where they’re sitting. He drags it out. Troublemaker.

They sit together for another minute. Tommy can hear Sloane marching the kids away to find their parents. If he really tunes into the noises around them, he can hear some laughter and lots of walkies; they're finishing up here. He'll probably get called in soon enough to pack up.

“How are you feeling?” he asks.

Evan nods, then tips his head back onto Tommy’s shoulder. “Better. Thank you.”

Tommy moves his hand down to Evan’s face, just to tilt his cheek a little closer, plants a long, sure kiss there.

“I’ve got you.”

Evan smiles. “Yeah, you got me.”

[mvltisstuff]

hi!! omg so would you ever mind doing a one-shot where buck is like capital W Wasted and is flirting with reader (but reader has always had a crush on him) so when he complements them they’re all like “buck, you’re being mean.” and he’s all offended and confesses everything but the reader isn’t too sure how real it is?

you can 100% control the ending, your vision is so *chefs kiss*

THANK YOU SO SO MUCH !

i wish you were sober - e.b

summary: request

evan buckley x reader

gif

a/n: i’m so sorry this is like weeks late, but i hope it’s enjoyed regardless. 🫶

as if she were a high school freshman seeing the QB of varsity football that she never, ever had a chance with, y/n’s heart would dangerously speed up whenever buck walked into the room. let alone when he did anything. if he brushed past her, or if he placed a hand on her shoulder, it left y/n begging to not be left crumbling on the floor. she could tell buck knew, too, but both their egos stood in the way. y/n was just too embarrassed to let the words come out of his mouth, and buck figured he would ruin anything between them. so, he left it where it was. he didn’t touch her or try to turn a new light on.

he did, however, know how to drink, and he knew it all too well.

he’s not an alcoholic, but he knows how to have a good time with the right amount of shots and continuously ordering more drinks for everyone. everyone watched his intake get bigger and more, but they didn’t both to stop him. if buck wants to have a good time and let loose by drinking, they just have to let him or even join him.

usually, y/n has no problem ordering her cocktail and sitting at the bar with her coworkers. but recently, it’s all be off like a glitch in the system. nothing has been the same since she noticed the pounding in her chest and the screaming in her mind whenever buck walked into the room. seriously, it was becoming a problem. she needed to cool it down, and she was scared of what might happen if she let her courage be defined by liquor.

“can someone tell y/n to drink, please? i can’t stand to see her wallowing in the corner.” chimney asks, dipping his chip into the salsa before shoving it into his mouth.

“don’t act like you wouldn’t be prying the glass out of my hands. besides, i barely got the drinking memo, i just wanted to go home!”

“what’s got you all moody?” eddie teases.

“i’m not moody,” y/n grumbles, taking a sip of the drink she surely doesn’t want, but the tipsy buck had ordered it for her. eddie turns around, shaking his head and getting up to grab another beer from the counter. “where is buck, anyway?”

“he kinda ran off somewhere, we think he’s trying to get his friend who works here a discount because he knows him.” chimney tells y/n, nodding off to whichever direction buck might have went in.

y/n’s always happier when bucks around, whether she wants to admit it or not. he’s like a bug, clinging to you but in the best was possible, a way that makes you want him to never go away. the buzz in your ear is never obnoxious, and he somehow manages to make you feel so much lighter in the world.

but, tonight, y/n’s not sure if she wants him around. she doesn’t want to watch his relentless charm go over everyone in the bar, knowing that he’ll never want her the same way. it’s getting exhausting, watching girls hang off of him knowing that buck will never be y/n’s.

still, buck manages to find his firefly, his closest friend (he won’t admit that it’s more).

he swoops into her conversation and tries to bring his usual brightness back, but she just seems frustrated with him. the air between them feels tense and as if y/n fears him, or resents him. she can’t let herself go around him anymore.

“y/nnnn!” buck drags out, leaning on his hand which rests on the shiny bar.

“what, buck?” she turns her head, only the corner of her mouth lifting up to play along with his antics.

“come on, i think i deserve a whole smile, huh? we both know how pretty it is.”

“what?” she stumbles over her words, unable to figure out why he’s suddenly doing this.

“i love making you laugh, y/n, because i just get to see your cute face light up.”

“buck, what are you talking about-“ y/n laughs, but she’s silently letting her heart crack more at every word he says. she can’t handle him saying this and then leaving it to be false reality. he keeps going. he doesn’t stop. the compliments are consistent, and normally they’d be appreciated.

tonight is different.

tonight, y/n doesn’t feel like listening to buck make up fake things to say about her. she doesn’t feel like listening to things that he’ll forget about in the morning. things that mean the world to her, but nothing to him.

she finds herself sneakily lurking outside the bar, her coat on and the light wind biting at her nose. LA doesn’t normally get too cold, but the chilliness in the air is making her rub her hands together anxiously for warmth. she dials through her phone, searching for her uber app in any way to get home.

“you think you’re sneaky? why you leaving?” buck hiccups, his thick soles crunching the pebbles beneath his feet.

“i’m going home, buck. i’m not playing this game tonight.”

“what game? we can play games, we can play pool!”

“you barely have enough coordination to stand here, i doubt you can play pool.”

“alright, well, goodnight to you, too. what did they put in your drink?”

“have you ever thought that you’re the problem?”

“oh, way too often, pretty girl,”

“stop,” she whispers.

“why?”

“don’t say that. that’s just mean, buck.”

“what’s mean? the fact that i love you or the fact that we’re standing out here in the cold when we could be having fun inside?”

“buck, enough.”

“i’ll say it again, i love you! i don’t know who else has to hear it for you to listen to me!”

“stop saying that! you’re the one playing a fucking game with me. you’re saying all this to flatter me and then tomorrow, you’re gonna wake up as if nothing happened. you’re gonna remember the shots you took, not the words you threw at me.”

his drunken eyes start to fall, looking deadly as he stares y/n in the eye. “but what if i mean it?” he says, his voice having a tinge of sadness to it.

“i don’t believe you.”

“you should.”

“well, that doesn’t fix everything, buck. if you really love me, tell me when you’re sober.”

she turns on her heel with her freezing hands in her pockets, and the image of her genuinely angelic face fades out of sight. the only thing that buck is left with is the sounds of car tires crunch against the cold concrete and a decision to make.

[tryingtograspctrl]

BECAUSE I LOVE YOU: EVAN “BUCK” BUCKLEY X BLACK PLUS SIZE READER

SUMMARY: Buck doesn't seem to like you very much and you don't understand why. One day you get injured on a call and he doesn't hesitate to give you an earful which turns into an argument that helps you finally understand why he acts the way he does.

Warning: Mentions of discriminations, mentions of workplace abuse, mentions of injuries and blood, etc.

When you decided to pursue a career in firefighting you knew you'd face some hardships. You were a fat black woman in a white male dominated field, of course you would.

You experienced your fair share of discrimination when you started working at your first firehouse, the nasty comments about your looks from your coworkers, the mistreatment from your boss, everyone excluding you from calls suggesting that you stay at the station instead, that you'd be of more use scrubbing the truck or washing the dishes.

After months of abuse you requested to be transferred and your wish was granted.

Your first day at the 118 felt like a fever dream, when you had arrived you were greeted by nothing but warm, welcoming faces, people eager to accommodate you, excited to get to know you.

You felt safe, a feeling that had become foreign to you when you first became a firefighter. You had finally found a place that you could call home, finally found a team that you considered family.

Well... almost

You got along well with everyone, they were all super nice and understanding as you settled into the new environment, coaching you through your first few days.

Buck on the other hand was a real jerk.

From the moment you arrived he was extremely rude, micromanaging everything you did, critiquing your every move, bossing you around as if he was captain.

At first you thought it was some sort of hazing from him, a "let's pick on the new firefighter" sort of thing but as time passed you realized that his behavior towards you was no playful initiation.

"Hey probie, you're rolling that hose all wrong, move let me show you how to do it." He nudged you slightly, irritation evident in his voice.

You stood, wiping the dust off your knees, shooting him a glare.

"You always want to keep it wound as tight as possible, got it?" He looked up at you, raising a brow.

"Got it Buckley." You forced a smile.

This had been going on for weeks now, wherever you went he was sure to follow, breathing down your neck, waiting for you to make a mistake so he could swoop in and correct you, so he could make you feel like a kid.

You finished getting suited up, your helmet under your arm as you rushed toward the firetruck, climbing up into one of the seats.

There was a call involving a plane crash at a hair salon, sparks igniting and interacting with the many chemicals in the place causing a fire.

"Hen, Chim, you check on these guys, Eddie you grab the hose and knock this fire down, Buck, Y/n, you guys head inside and see if there's anyone trapped beneath the rubble." Bobby fired off orders.

"Got it Cap." You adjusted your helmet but just before you could trek toward the building Buck stopped you.

"Wait she's not going in there." He held out an arm in front of you.

"And why the hell not?" You furrowed your brows, a frown tugging at your lips.

"Because you aren't experienced enough." He glared down at you.

"I've been trained for this just like you have Buckley i know what i'm doing, and who are you to tell me what i can and can't do?!." You crossed your arms getting into his face.

He leaned closer, getting into yours too, a smart remark on the tip of his tongue but just before he could retort Bobby interrupted.

"Hey! Cut it out before i make both of you wait in the truck. Buck she's going in with you and that's final.” He scolded the two of you.

You both nodded, rushing toward the salon, the roof of the building slightly caved in.

Eddie had already put the fire out so you didn't have to worry about that.

"Help." A voice called out as you entered.

The woman seemed to have been sitting in one of the chairs just before the building collapsed, you could tell because it was glued to her back, a part of the ceiling pinning it against her body.

Another woman was just a few feet away from her on her side, a pair of scissors lodged into her neck.

You and Buck shared a look of horror before you got to work, pulling the heavy rubble off of her.

From the outside she didn't seem to sustain any injuries but you could tell by the way she reacted to being lifted up that she definitely had a few broken bones.

You and Buck got her outside, he led her toward the fire truck and you looked around, noticing a woman hysterically yelling at Hen.

"What's going on?" You jogged over.

"It's my daughter! My daughter was in there getting her hair dyed, i stepped out for a moment to take a call and i came back a-and i couldn't find her!" She sobbed.

"What's your daughter's name and what does she look like ma'am?" You crotched next to her, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"Hailey, I have a picture." She sniffled pulling out her phone.

You studied it, committing the girls features to memory, she wasn't scissor lady thankfully so you wouldn't have to break any bad news to her.

"I'm gonna find her." You squeezed the woman's shoulder before running back toward the building.

You and Buck had pretty much cleared the front of the building so you figured the best place to find her daughter would be toward the back.

The back of the salon had definitely took the most damage, the ceiling significantly lower causing you to have to get on your hands and knees, clawing at the rubble blocking the back room door.

Once you got inside you did a quick scan of the room, spotting a young girl in the corner unconscious.

You crawled over to her, rolling her onto her back and giving her a sternum rub.

Her eyes fluttered open, blinking a few times as they adjusted to her surroundings.

"Hi Hailey, how are you feeling?" You spoke lowly.

"Like crap." She groaned.

"I bet you are." You laughed lightly.

"Are you hurting anywhere?" You asked.

"My head and my neck are killing me." She explained.

"Okay come on, we're gonna get you outta here, get you checked out and get you back to your mom." You replied.

"My mom? Is she ok?" She sat up suddenly, yelping in pain.

"Okay, okay, let's take it easy yeah? Your mom is doing just fine, she pretty worried about you though so let's get you out of here." You guided her toward the door.

The two of you stood up completely as you made it back to the front but just before you could exit the roof began to fall down completely.

Instinctively you pushed Hailey out of the front door before falling to the floor, the ceiling falling on top of you not even a second later.

You passed out on impact.

Eddie rushed over to grab the girl guiding her over to an ambulance while Buck rushed to the building.

"Shit, Y/n!" He screamed, panic filling him.

He clawed at the debris, throwing chunks of it to the side in an attempt to get to you.

"Buck, buck!" Bobby grabbed his shoulders, pulling him away.

He shook rapidly, tears forming in his eyes as he watched the rest of the team use shovels to try and remove all the rubble from on top of you.

"Hey, let's get you patched up." Hen spoke softly grabbing his wrists.

He looked at her for a moment then looked down at his hands to see them covered in blood.

Hen tugged at his arm, leading him to the ambulance.

Time skip

You groaned placing your hand over your eyes, the bright hospital lights burning them.

You squinted trying to remember how you got here, the last thing your brain registered is leading Hailey out of the back room of the salon, everything after that is a blur.

"Hey." Hen looked up from her phone, noticing that you were now awake.

“Hi.” You smiled gently.

“You scared the hell out of us you know.” She grabbed your hand.

“Sorry about that… i don’t remember much, what happened?” You looked at her slightly confused.

“The building collapsed on top of you y/n, you pushed Hailey out of the way, took the hit for her.” Hen smiled sadly.

“Oh.” You bit your lip, you hated making them worry about you.

“She okay?” You asked after a while.

“She’s fine, just a slight concussion.” She reassured you.

“What about you? Any pain?” She brushed the hair out of your face.

"Lotsss of it, mainly in my back." You half smiled.

"I'll go get the doctor." She pat your hand before exiting.

Buck leaned against the door frame watching you for a moment.

"You okay?" He asked walking over to you stiffly.

"Yeah." You sighed as he took a seat next to your bed.

"Good." He nodded, staring off into space.

"What the hell were you thinking?" He spoke up after a while.

"Seriously Buck? Is that what you came here to do? Argue with me?" You narrowed your eyes at him.

"I came here to talk some sense into you, you act too reckless, throw yourself into things without thinking about the consequences." He rambled.

"If it isn't the pot calling the kettle black." You scoffed rolling your eyes.

"You could've gotten seriously injured or worse." He raised his voice slightly.

"But i didn't! I'm fine Buck, i saved that girl's life, that's my job!" You yelled, getting frustrated.

"Yeah this time you were but what about next time, the next time you decide to make a stupid decision? The next time you decide to sacrifice yourself?" He spoke roughly clenching his jaw.

"Stupid decision? God why are you so critical of everything that i do?" Your voice lowered, eyes searching his for an answer.

"Because i love you!" He shouted.

"I love you and i care about you so deeply and im scared, scared of losing you." He whispered, hanging his head low.

You blinked in surprise. Buck loved you?

"Buck." You went to sit up, groaning at the sudden ache in your limbs.

"You're not gonna lose me." You reached out grabbing his hand.

"You don't know that." He finally looked up at you, tears brimming in his eyes.

"None of us know that, we put our lives on the line every single day, the reality of it is that any one of use could die at any given moment." You lifted his chin.

"But we've made it this far haven't we? Sure we get a few bumps and bruises every now and then and some of us are left clinging to life but we're fighters, i'm a fighter and i've got a family now, i've got something to lose so their’s no way in hell i'm going out that easy." You laughed wiping a few stray tears from his cheeks.

He pulled you into a hug, squeezing tightly, face buried into your shoulder.

“Ouch, Buck by back.” You tapped him repeatedly signaling for him to release you.

“Oh sorry, sorry did i hurt you?” He let go quickly, helping you lay back down.

“Just a little but it’s fine.” You giggled.

“By the way, I love you too Buckley.” You squeezed his hand, smiling brightly.

A/N - Buck being a meanie because he doesn’t trust you enough to accept you just yet, then growing to love you just as much as he does everyone else but still being a meanie because you worry him to death lolll, now he knows how Bobby feels. 🌻

[princessfbi]

Cuddling with caretaker in a warm shower/bath + buddie

Buck shuddered against him, making the water ripple around them in tiny waves against the porcelain of the tub. The smallest of whimpers croaked past dry swollen lips and Eddie shushed the noise as it puffed against the hollow skin of his throat.

“I know, baby,” he said, dipping the washcloth into the water before squeezing it at the base of Buck’s shoulders so the water would cascade down his spine.

Eddie had tried to talk Buck into letting him stay out on the side so he could have the complete space of the tub for his long limbs to curl into. But one choked plea and a pair of red rimmed, exhausted blue eyes had had Eddie stripping off his clothes and joining him. Buck had barely let Eddie get situated before he turned on his front and curled into Eddie’s chest, shivering from the fever induced chill that had been wrecking his system for over forty-eight hours.

He couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen Buck so sick. Worry had prickled under his skin and latched on with nettles so he couldn’t shake it off, practically drawing blood the longer and longer Buck’s fever raged on.

At least he wasn’t heaving though. Not that Eddie thought he could. Buck had barely been able to stand let alone work up the bile and empty air and the very few sips of water he’d managed to get down.

His stomach, however, hadn’t seemed to get the picture.

Every chance Buck drifted off to sleep had been interrupted with a whine and a curl of his body. He’d thought the hot bath would help. Or, if anything, would allow Buck’s body to unclench so he wasn’t in so much pain!

It had worked for a while. Eddie’s butt had gone numb and the water lukewarm that he’d had to add some more hot water by stretching up to the turn the faucet with his toe. But Buck had relaxed against his chest and hid his too cold nose against the base of Eddie’s throat. Eddie had kept up his ministrations, trickling water down his back and sweeping his hands so he could give him just a little bit of warmth; so he could take the pain away for just a little bit longer. Eventually, Buck had drifted and if he hadn’t been asleep then he’d at least gotten close. Eddie would’ve happily stayed there for ever.

Buck twitched against him and Eddie braced himself for the worst of it. His arm was half way out of the tub to grab the trash can he’d pulled over before they got in. Eddie locked down the panic in his throat that wanted to claw its way to his heart with all the racing thoughts in his head.

No. No please. He can’t keep doing this. He needs these fluids. He’s already suffered enough. Please. Please. Please!

He’d promised Buck no hospital but that creeping realization that the very real possibility that he may have to break that promise very soon was getting closer and closer each second Buck didn’t get better.

Buck pressed his face into the hollow of Eddie’s throat, stiffening like he was frozen in time, and Eddie waited.

There wasn’t much else he could do. Not without IVs and people with more medical knowledge than he had under his belt.

But then Buck sighed and he sagged further into Eddie’s as the water shifted around them.

Eddie pressed a kiss against Buck’s head and dunked the washcloth back into the water.

“It’s okay,” Eddie said as he curled an arm around Buck and squeezed out the water over Buck’s spine. Buck whimpered again as he burrowed impossibly close and settled deeper into Eddie’s hold. “It’s okay.”

[dangerpronebuddie]

My darling Maggie, I need soft too.

So please, gimmie some Buddie + 37. ‘I missed you.’

🩵🩵🩵🩵

My darling Tanis, I hope this helps the need 🩵. I really enjoyed this one! 🥰

Buck checks his phone for about the eleventh time and sighs. Still nothing from Eddie. His flight had been delayed twice already. Chris had been so excited to meet Eddie at the airport, but when it got to be midnight and Eddie still hadn't arrived, Buck had to call off their surprise. Chris was too tired to protest much. Buck flips through the channels, staring unseeing at the TV screen. He decided he'd wait up for Eddie as long as he could. But it was approaching three in the morning and he had a shift later. He was just about to give up and pass out right there on the couch, when he heard keys in the door. His shoulders drop with relief at the sound. He had to admit, at least to himself, that he'd been worried since Eddie left a week ago. But his mom was sick and needed help, and Eddie wasn't about to let them down. So, Buck offered to stay with Chris, much to the kid's absolute delight. And Buck's. He stands and pads to the entryway. At first, Eddie doesn't see him. He's focused on trying to close the door with as little noise as possible, and failing miserably thanks to the squeaky hinge Buck had yet to fix. “You're late,” Buck says in a hushed voice. Eddie looks at Buck, a fond- albeit tired- smile on his face. “There wasn't construction on Sunset this time.” “Honestly, it probably would've been faster,” Buck comments as Eddie toes off his shoes. “How's everyone doing?” “Mom's finally better,” Eddie says on a sigh. “Dad has joined a golf club, a chess club, and a dancing club, all to keep out of mom's hair.” He sheds his jacket and hangs it beside Buck's before turning to face him. He looks exhausted. Like he just worked a double shift and then chaperoned a sleepover of ten rowdy kids. “And what about you?” Buck asks, pushing off the archway he was leaning against and stepping closer. “I…” Eddie pauses, like he's not sure he should say what he's going to. “I missed you.” Buck's heart swells. He doesn't think he's ever been told that in his life. Not even by Eddie. It feels… like heaven. Like being wrapped in a blanket straight from the dryer. Like… being loved. “I missed you too,” Buck says softly, wrapping his arms around Eddie and burying his face in his neck. Eddie sighs in content and practically melts against him, curling his arms around his waist. Buck takes a deep breath, smoothing a hand over the back of Eddie's head. He smells like sandalwood and citrus and home. Buck has been living in the Diaz house all week, surrounded by hints of Eddie everywhere, but nothing compares to the real thing. “I missed you so much,” Buck whispers, holding tighter. Eddie presses closer, his head against Buck's. “I missed you too, darlin’.” Buck's breath catches in his throat at the pet name, at the easy fondness in Eddie's tone, at the drawl that lingers from spending a week back home. He pulls back just enough to look at Eddie, who has to crane his neck to see him with their proximity. “Darlin’?” Buck asks, feeling his face heat, but smirking nonetheless. “Would you prefer sweetheart? Or baby? Or snookums?” Eddie teases. “I'd prefer husband,” Buck blurts out. Before the fear that he's too much can overtake him, Eddie stands on his toes and presses a soft kiss to the corner of Buck's mouth. “We'll work up to that, darlin’.” Buck grins and takes Eddie's face in his hands, pulling him into a deep kiss. It sounds ridiculous to say he's missed kissing Eddie when he's never done it before, but he has. He's missed his smiles and his laugh and his grumpy morning attitude. He's missed his touch, his voice, and even his kiss. And he doesn't have to miss him again.

Send me a soft prompt!

[extasiswings]

when the light turns

I still can’t quite believe that 6x12 actually happened/wasn’t some sort of fandom-wide fever dream, but anyway, I was in my Eddie feels so have an interlude fic. 

Buck is asleep.

It brings Eddie up short at first, followed by a wave of fond exasperation.  He takes a swig from one of the open beers in his hands as he looks away, then back again.

Buck is asleep.

That time, the thought rocks him to his core.

He was only out of the room, what?  A minute?  Two?  And yet, that was enough time for Buck to crash so thoroughly that Eddie’s not convinced an explosion would wake him.

On his couch.  In his home.  

Eddie swallows hard around a sudden lump in his throat.

The way Buck looked when he arrived…his eyes were haunted, hunted, exhaustion written across his face and hanging from every line of his body—

Eddie remembers what that’s like.  He remembers all too well the feeling of lying awake staring at the ceiling, unable to quiet his mind, unable to settle, unable to get comfortable, just going and going and going until his body either physically shut down or he managed to relocate somewhere that seemed safe enough that he could rest.

And Buck—Buck came to him.  

He hadn’t expected it.  Hoped, yes.  When Maddie called him and asked him to check on Buck, he hadn’t said no outright, but hadn’t said yes either.  I’ll think about it seemed to strike the appropriate balance between agreeing against his better instincts or having to explain himself to someone who, while he likes her, he doesn’t really know well at all.

And there was also the part where he hadn’t wanted to put his foot in his mouth by admitting that he wasn’t sure her plan was what Buck needed.

He took a different path.  Held back.  Gave Buck space, even if it killed him to do it.  And he hoped that if he just waited patiently, Buck would come to him when he was ready.

He’s never been so glad to have been right.

Eddie takes another drink and looks away again, thinking absently that he should put the second beer back in the fridge, maybe go find Buck a blanket, do anything other than standing there.  But his eyes drift back to Buck as if pulled by a force beyond his control.  They track over Buck’s face, the scruff on his jaw, the rise and fall of his chest—

When Buck was in the hospital, Eddie couldn’t look.  He couldn’t make himself do it, not even knowing that any moment could be the last.  He couldn’t look at Buck hooked up to machines, with a tube in his throat, half a corpse.  He couldn’t face that without shattering.

He’s had plenty of other moments in the past where he couldn’t look either.  Because Buck—god, sometimes he shines so bright, burns so fiercely with warmth and light and life that it’s like looking at the sun.  In those moments, Eddie can’t look directly at him for too long without being afraid of getting seared.

Now though…he can’t seem to look away.  Buck’s usual light has dimmed enough in sleep that he seems…real.  Human.  Touchable.  It makes Eddie’s heart thud in his chest, a wild leap that steals his breath.

He aches.  But it’s not a bad kind of pain, not the sharp slash of terror or the deep, bloody torment of grief.  It’s gentle, like pressing a bruise, the subtle ache of healing.

Or of yearning.

Eddie’s breath shudders out of him in a long, shaky gust.  His fingers curl harder around the beer bottles in his hands, a reminder to himself that they’re already occupied, that he can’t reach out and touch no matter how soft, how approachable Buck may seem.  

There’s a space next to Buck on the couch.  Buck’s arm stretches out along the back of it, and it would be so easy to just sit down, settle into that space.  It would be so simple.  A few steps, a bend of his knees, and Eddie could fit himself right there, into the curve of Buck’s side, press into his warmth and let it chase away the rest of the lingering chill of the hospital.

Easy.

But Eddie doesn’t.  Can’t.

He’s not for you, Eddie scolds himself.  Not like that.

Because Buck will come back from this.  He’ll find his light again, and then he’ll find peace, find ease on some other couch, in some other house, with someone else, someone equally bright who isn’t afraid to love him.  He’ll return to being too much to look at, untouchable, and Eddie will be able to get a grip on himself, find the control that he left on a street somewhere in the dark and pouring rain.

He drinks.  He aches.  He looks.

He should walk away, but can’t seem to get his feet to move.

Not yet.  Not yet.

A line of poetry whispers through his mind as he stops himself from reaching out yet again, something he read years ago that always twists his chest.

Te amo como se aman ciertas cosas oscuras, secretamente, entre la sombra y el alma.

I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

But Buck is all fire and sunlight.  Even at his darkest and most destructive, he never fully loses that spark.

He is not a dark thing.  And he deserves to be loved in the light.  Openly.  Visibly.  Explicitly.  Which…simply isn’t something Eddie thinks he’s capable of giving him.

But, oh.  He aches.

Eddie isn’t sure how long he stands there watching Buck sleep, but it’s long enough to finish both of the beers he brought out.

And then, after one last breath, one last look, he finally unsticks his feet and slips back into the shadows of the kitchen.      

[harrywavycurly]

Eddie Munson x Not a Genie!Reader Part 1: Three Bucks✨

Part 2: here

Eddie is walking around a thrift shop in Hawkins looking for stuff to go in his new one bedroom apartment, he sees this cool looking bottle and he doesn’t know why but he decides he likes it enough to buy it. He gets home and dusts it off a bit and before he knows what’s happening a cloud of pink smoke fills his living room and you pop out of no where and go “Hi there! What can I do for you? Oh…do you need help decorating? Or…maybe help getting dressed? I can sew those holes in your jeans for you it’ll take me no time at all.” And Eddie is just standing there all wide eyed holding the bottle in one hand and a rag in the other while you’re smiling and staring at him waiting for him to tell you what he needs you to do.

Then it dawns on you that maybe he doesn’t know who you or what you’re meant for are so you reach your hand out to him and say “You rubbed my bottle so that usually means you need me to help you with something…I’m uhm…well you can call me a life assistant of sorts I can help with just about anything but murder I don’t do that…uh anymore…it’s not good for the conscience.” But Eddie just blinks a few times still very much in shock making you just gently take your bottle out of his grasp so you can place it on the coffee table behind you. “So…what’s first on the agenda?” You ask as you take a seat on his very worn in sofa.

“I must be dreaming.” You laugh as Eddie drops the dust rag he used to clean your bottle so he can run both hands through his hair. “You’re not…actually here I must be dreaming or I inhaled too many fumes from the cleaning stuff and uh yeah..yeah you’re not…real.” You roll your eyes as you place your hands in your lap as he begins to pace the length of his living room.

“I most certainly am real…can I wash your hair for you?” Eddie stops pacing and shoots you a weird look making you shrug and go “I’m just trying to suggest useful things I can do for you…and you’re hair looks uhm like..it could use a nice wash…or two”.

“Are you…a genie?” You shake your head no as you stand up and make your way into his kitchen, he follows behind and runs a hand over his face when he sees you looking in his fridge just to find it’s pretty much empty minus a few beers and a carton of milk.

“I’m not a genie because I don’t grant wishes…I just simply help you with your problems…or uhm…try to at least because sometimes no matter how much I want to even I can’t fix everything.” Eddie just nods as you close his fridge and take a look in his cabinets.

“So you just belong to whoever has your bottle?” You feel your face drop into a frown as you turn and face him, Eddie doesn’t know why but seeing you upset makes his heart drop a bit.

“I used to belong to this lovely woman but she…got rid of me because I couldn’t…I couldn’t fix…her broken heart…where did you find me?” You ask as you sniffle a bit and wipe your eyes. Eddie rubs at the back of his neck as he contemplates telling you the truth or not.

“A uh..thrift store I paid…three bucks for..you.” You just nod and look down at your feet making a senses of sadness take over the kitchen. “You can..wash my hair if you want…if that’s like what would make..you happy?” Eddie doesn’t know why he offers it but he does and when you look at him with a giant grin on your face he decides right then and there that he’ll let you do anything if it means he gets to see you smile like that more often.

[munsonsmixtapes]

Maybe I Do

Buck x Eddie x fem!firefighter!reader

summary: you and Eddie are in a secret relationship and Buck wants to be apart of it, only for you to reject him. But when a new member joins the 118 and starts flirting with Buck, you and Eddie realize that you actually do like him.

word count: 4k

cw: make out session, reader has a panic attack, hurt/comfort

based on a comment on this post by @unknown-2505

"We should probably stop," you told Eddie as you went in for another kiss. "We're going to be late."

"Tell them that we were stuck in traffic." He licked into your mouth and you let out a moan at the feeling of his tongue scratching against yours. You were straddling his waist as the two of you sat in the passenger seat of your car, trying to get in a quickie before you had to go into work.

"Eddie," you laughed. "C'mon." But he just pulled you in for another kiss, trying to get to any place he could reach as you grabbed your shirt from the driver’s seat. You put it on and Eddie helped you button it, whining about needing one more kiss. He was always like that, never able to get enough of your lips. Especially since he was about to go into a long shift with a single one.

You had mutually decided to keep it a secret since you didn’t want everyone meddling into your love life. And it was kind of fun sneaking around. It was hot sneaking off to the bathroom to have a quickie, your hearts pounding as you tried to keep quiet so no one would hear you. And as far as you were concerned, no one knew.

You opened the door and Eddie helped you out before you grabbed your duffel and hurried into the station. Eddie counted to sixty then copied you, hurrying into the station a minute after you so nobody would have been suspicious about the two of you coming in together.

You both put your stuff away in your locker, Buck not far behind. He stood next to you as he put his things away, nudging your shoulder as he did so. It was something that he did every morning without fail. It was his very subtle way of telling you that he was interested in you. So subtle that you hadn’t even realized that was what he was hinting at.

He had liked Eddie for a long time, but when you came along, he knew he was fucked. You were just so pretty and nice, and seeing the two of you together was a lethal combo. You were both so hot that it was causing his bi panic to skyrocket. And he slowly started to realize that he was in love with the both of you. Head over heel, completely and totally in love. So much so that it was making him feel sick.

And it wasn’t like he could tell either of you. You would have been supportive, of course, that was just how the two of you were, but he was beginning to think that maybe it wasn’t the right idea to tell you. As far as he was concerned, he was taking that shit to the grave. It was far too embarrassing to admit it. How could he go about telling his two best friends that he was in love with them?

“Buck?” You asked, nudging his shoulder. “You still with us?” He finally came back to the real world to see your beautiful eyes looking at him. You almost seemed concerned and he didn’t like that. He appreciated that you worried about him (maybe a bit too much) but he didn’t need you to. He didn’t need you wasting that kind of energy on him. He didn’t think he deserved it.

“Huh?” He asked, completely unaware that you had even been speaking to him. He was too far into his own little world.

“We were wondering if you were still going out with us tonight,” Eddie said and Buck had to try his hardest not to stare at Eddie’s flexed arm as he put his bag into his locker.

“Yeah, of course,” Buck nodded as he forced himself to turn away. “I’m always in.”

“Good because it’s my treat because,” you paused for dramatic effect and held up your keys, showing him the newest addition.

“You got it?” He asked excitedly, reaching out for the key.

“I did,” you smiled proudly. “Got the keys yesterday. Can you believe it, Buck? A place that’s all mine.” Well, a place that was yours and Eddie’s and Christopher’s, but Buck didn’t need to know that.

You both felt horrible for hiding it from him, but you felt like it was for the best. Yes, you were pretty serious considering that him and his son had moved in with you, but you still didn’t feel like it was the right time to lay everything on the table.

You knew everyone would be supportive, especially Buck, but it just felt much better to keep it to yourself for the time being. You felt like telling everyone the truth would only make things weird with you and Eddie you had been hiding for about six months and it just would have been odd to spill everything now. Plus, you thought the whole secrecy thing was hot.

“I’ll have to see it sometime,” he said, leaning in a bit too close to you, but he couldn’t help it. You just smelled so good.

“I guess you will,” you smiled back only to see Eddie making a motion to stop you from speaking. “I-I mean, maybe,” you shrugged.

“What?” Buck was very confused by your response, turning around to see what you were looking at and Eddie turned his back to head out of the locker room.

“Nothing,” you smiled brightly.

“You’re acting weird.”

“Maybe you’re the one who’s acting weird,” you countered, crossing your arms over your chest in a defensive manner. Buck stepped closer to you, resting a hand on your arm. He was getting concerned, wondering if there was something that you were too afraid to tell him. But you could tell him, he wouldn’t judge you, in fact, he would have helped you through whatever it was.

“What’s really going on?” He asked, his blue eyes boring into yours. You felt horrible lying to him, but you were just doing what you thought was right.

“Nothing, seriously, Buck. I appreciate you worrying about me, but you don’t need to.” You removed his hand from your shoulder and took it in both of yours. “I swear.”

“Okay,” he nodded. “But you know you can come to me with anything, right?”

“I know that,” you nodded.

“Good.” With that, you both fled the locker room and all headed up the stairs where the rest of the 118 was resting, waiting around for a call. You sat on the sofa next to Eddie, making sure to keep space between your bodies so as to not look suspicious.

He was watching the TV across from the couch intently. So much so that you were convinced that he hadn’t even seen you. But not long after you sat down, he slowly inched his hand towards yours. You looked over your shoulder to see everyone in the kitchen getting coffee, so you took Eddie’s hand, intertwining your fingers, pressing a kiss to his knuckles.

You ran your thumb over them as the two of you watched the TV, a silly comedy playing on the TV. But you weren’t really watching. All you could think about was what Buck had said about you acting weird. Did he know what was going on with you and Eddie? He had to if he was calling your behavior, right? And he was also suspicious of Eddie now that he thought about it.

Now that someone knew, you were concerned that you were going to have to call the whole thing off. You really loved Eddie and didn’t want to give up on him. You couldn’t. Especially since you had just moved in together. Especially since you had just gotten Christopher used to moving to a new place and he actually seemed to be happy with it.

Your life had changed for the better since they had entered it and you weren’t going to give it up. You couldn’t. This was only the beginning. And you weren’t going to let Buck’s knowledge of your relationship ruin it.

“So, what are you two up to?” Hen asked as she leaned over the back of the sofa. Both you and Eddie let go of each other’s hand when you noticed her presence and if he saw it, she didn’t say anything.

“Watching TV, obviously,” Eddie laughed nervously. Hen rounded the sofa and sat on the cushion between the two of you. Hen had been suspicious of the two of you for months and seeing you hold hands like that confirmed them. The way the two of you behaved around each other was much more than friendly even if the others couldn’t see through it like she could.

She was supportive, though. She had seen the attraction since you first showed up and she was nothing but happy for the two of you. She was just hoping that Buck was going to be okay, though. He had confided in her about his crush on the both of you and was concerned how that was all going to do go down. Buck was like a little brother to her and she wanted to protect him at all costs.

Because of her suspicion, Hen told him to hold off on telling the two of you how he felt. She could see how much he was aching because of how strong his feelings were, but there was no way she was going to tell him that the two of you were together. It wasn’t any of her business and she didn’t want to make anything weird between the three of you. You were so close and she wasn’t going to take the blame for breaking the three of you up.

“Listen,” she said, motioning for you both to lean forward. You listened and leaned closer, Hen’s voice lowering to a whisper. “I know about the two of you.” Both of you widened your eyes and turned to each other. You swore you weren’t that obvious, but supposed that if anyone could have figured it out, it would have been Hen.

“But-” you tried to speak, but Bobby’s voice cut you off.

“Alright, everyone, listen up,” he called out and you all turned into him, your eyes immediately catching onto the man and woman who were standing on either side of him. “This is Hazel,” he rested a hand on the woman’s shoulder. “And Benjamin,” his other hand landed on the man’s shoulder. “They’re the newest members of the 118 so treat them like one of us, alright?”

Just as the words left his mouth, the siren went off and you all were flying down the stairs to head to the engine. Everyone was able to fit except Chimney and Hen who were taking the ambulance. You were in between Eddie and Buck, both of the new members of the crew sitting across from you along with Ravi.

You could hear Buck and Eddie making conversation with them, but you weren’t paying attention, their words sounding all muffled as you got too into your head. You didn’t think you and Eddie had been obvious, but considering Hen had figured you out, you were convinced that everyone else knew as well. And now you were afraid Bobby was going to transfer you because the two of you were dating because you knew that it was against the rules for the two of you to be romantically linked.

After the call, the engine pulled back up to the fire house and once you got out, you headed to the women’s bathroom, beckoning for Eddie to follow, counting to a minute before he met you there. You locked the both of you in the handicapped stall and Eddie was quick to rest his hands on your waist, leaning in for a kiss, but you out your hand on his chest to stop him.

“We’re not here to make out, Eddie.”

“Then what are we here for?”

“We need to talk.” He didn’t like the sound of that. Oh god, you were going to break up with him. That was usually what those words meant. At least, whenever he had heard them, that was what they had meant.

You couldn’t break up with him. You had such a good thing going. You were the best thing that had ever happened to him and he couldn’t let you slip through his fingers because of something stupid that he had done. At least, he assumed it was his fault. All of his breakups were.

“I’m not breaking up with you,” you told him and he let out a deep breath.

“Thank god. Then what is this about?”

“I think we need to tell everyone about us.”

“Why?”

“Hen knows so it’s only a matter of time before everyone else does too.” Eddie supposed you were right. He didn’t think that Hen would tell anyone, but he thought it was best that you both just came clean.

“I’ll do whatever you want me to do. You know that.” His hand reached up and pushed your hair behind your ears before pressing a gentle kiss to your lips.

“Let’s tell them tomorrow morning,” you said. “It’s been a long day.”

“I agree,” he nodded. “So now that that’s settled…”

“I guess I can agree to that,” you rolled your eyes. Eddie smiled down at you, backing you up against the wall before pressing his lips to yours. Your arms wrapped around his neck while his went to your waist, picking you up from the floor and your legs wrapped around his middle as he pinned you to the wall as he licked into your mouth.

He unbuttoned the first few buttons of your shirt and pushed it down your shoulders before going straight for your neck, licking and sucking on the spot, eliciting a moan from your lips. This was by far his favorite thing to do to you whenever you were together like this. He loved the noises you made and the way he was able to make you come undone just by sucking on your skin. And when he was done, you were able to cover it up with the collar of your shirt. It was something just for the two of you. Your own little secret.

“So good, Eddie,” you moaned and that only encouraged him, intending on making you orgasm just from giving you a hickey. “We-we have to go back soon or they’ll get suspicious,” you told him through your labored breaths. There was a truth to your words, but you both were just too caught up in how good you felt to stop.

He continued to lick and suck, wanting the mark he was creating to be dark. So much so that there was no way for you to hide it with makeup. He wanted to stand behind you in the mirror in your shared bathroom while both of you admired the pretty bruise.

“Hold on, honey,” he murmured against your lips. “I’m doing my best work.” His teeth grazed your skin and you swore you were going to melt. If he hadn’t have been holding you, you were sure that your legs would have given out.

“Sh-shit, Ed. Do that again.” Your words were already slurring and he was positive that was a record of how quick he was to make you come undone. He did as you asked and grazed the spot with his teeth, harder this time. Your hands moved to his hair and you gave it a yank in response to the pleasure coursing through you.

He bit down on the mark that was forming, but not enough to break the skin, and you moaned, even louder this time. Surely someone would have heard you from outside the bathroom, but you didn’t care. You were just so focused on Eddie and his mouth.

You collapsed against him and he licked a stripe across the forming bruise to diffuse the sting before pulling away from you completely. He smiled down at the pretty mark he had made, the thing shining with his spit then set you down on the floor. He then began to button up your shirt, taking his time to make sure that all of the buttons were lined up properly. You had almost gotten caught week before because of that very thing and neither of you were going to repeat your errors.

-

The bar was pretty empty when you, Eddie and Buck arrived. The three of you hurried inside and ordered a round of shots to celebrate another job well done. The day had been pretty busy and now you were all ready to unwind. Well, you and Eddie were. Buck was just ready to tell you both the truth about the feelings he was harboring. He felt like he needed to get the words out no matter what Hen said. He knew that she was just looking out for him, but he had holding his feelings in for far too long.

He looked at the both of you and noticed the look you were sharing. It was almost…romantic. In that moment, he realized what was happening. The two of you were together. Now it all made sense. The sneaking off, the two of you coming back with your hair messed up and your shirts buttoned weirdly. Buck had been so preoccupied with his crush on both of you that he hadn’t been paying attention. Until now.

“Buck?” You asked, nudging him shoulder.

“Huh?” He was finally focusing in again. His mind in reality.

“Are you okay, man?” Eddie asked. “You’ve been spacey all day.”

“I guess I’ve just had a lot on my mind.” He headed towards an open table and sat down, both you and Eddie following him.

“What is it?” You asked as you sat across from him, setting your hand on top of his that was resting on the table. He immediately pulled it away and shook his head, nervously scratching at the back of his neck.

“Look,” he let out a sigh, closing his eyes. “What I’m going to say is going to sound crazy.”

“I’m sure that’s not true,” Eddie replied as he sipped on the beer he had ordered. He was convinced that he would be supportive of whatever Buck was going to tell him.

“Yeah,” you nodded. “You can tell us.”

“Fine. But remembered that you asked for it.” He ran his hands down his face and downed the shot that he had been too stunned to drink, hoping that would help with his nerves. “I’m in love with you,” he said. “Both of you.” Both of your eyes widened and you turned to each other in shock.

Out of all all the things Buck could have said, you definitely weren’t expecting that. You kind of assumed he had feelings for Eddie, but you? You didn’t even think that you were his type. But now you guessed you were. You were surprised to say the least. You and Eddie had been together for months and nobody new, but now you were going to have to confess two things. One, that you were together, and two, that you didn’t feel the same way. At least, you didn’t. You didn’t feel like it was right to speak for Eddie.

“Buck,” Eddie replied in surprise. Unfortunately, Eddie hadn’t felt the same way either. Maybe he did once upon a time, but as soon as he met you everything changed. And now he felt bad for not reciprocating his feelings. That was his best friend and he didn’t want to hurt him. He had already been through so much and now Eddie was about to absolutely crush him.

“Can you give us a minute to discuss?” You asked. “Order yourself a drink on us,” you handed him your card so he could start a tab and he took it, unsure of what was happening.

“S-sure,” he stuttered as he stood from the table. He knew it was a mistake. He should have just kept his big mouth shut. And now both of you were going to reject him and he was going to feel like shit. Well, he always did, but this was going to make the feeling so much worse.

“Eddie, what the fuck do we do?” You whispered, leaning towards him as you watched Buck order a beer, already looking so dejected. “God, I feel so bad.”

“So you don’t feel that way about him either?” He was hoping that that at least you did so Buck wouldn’t be completely rejected, but clearly that wasn’t happening.

“No and I feel horrible. What do we do?”

“We need to tread lightly,” Eddie replied. “He’s already so fragile.”

You waved Buck back over and he sat at the table, already knowing what was going to happen. You grabbed Eddie’s hand and you both looked at him with such pity. It was almost as if you were a married couple telling their child that you were divorcing. He felt so pathetic, resisting the urge to not hear your answer and leave, but unfortunately, he had ridden with you, so he didn’t have anywhere else to go.

“Well, we talked it over,” you turned to Eddie then turned back to Buck.

“You don’t like me,” Buck finished, lowering his head, no longer wanting to look either of you in the eye.

“We’re so sorry, Buck,” Eddie replied.

“Don’t worry about it,” he waved it off. “I’m just gonna head out if that’s okay.”

“Do you need a ride home?”

“Nah,” he stood up from the table, reaching into the pocket of his jeans for his phone. “Have a good night, guys.”

You collapsed into your chair, feeling defeated. You knew it wasn’t your fault that Buck’s feelings weren’t reciprocated, but you couldn’t feel like it was. You had gotten in between them, ruining anything that could have happened between them and now nothing would. At least, not according to Eddie with the engagement ring he had hidden in the drawer of his bedside table.

It was all so unfair. And now Eddie felt like the best friendship he ever had was ruined because feelings got in the way. And he wasn’t going to blame Buck. Not at all. It wasn’t his fault he had feelings for the both of you, and it certainly wasn’t his fault that neither of you felt the same way. God, it was all just so fucked.

-

You entered the firehouse the next morning only to see Buck flirting with the newbies right in front of the engine. And they were flirting right back. Hazel was giggling at whatever Buck had said and Benjamin was fiddling with Buck’s collar. You weren’t sure why, but the whole thing made him feel sick. You avoided them as you headed to your locker, Buck watching you the whole time.

He hadn’t meant to do use them, but they were right there. And they were interested. He wasn’t trying to make you and Eddie jealous or anything like that. He was just…lonely. He wasn’t going to do anything with them, just a little harmless flirting to mend his heart and then he’d be good.

Eddie entered the locker room to see that you hadn’t even put your stuff away. You were standing there, staring at Buck and the probies. He could see the anger in your eyes and if he wasn’t mistaken, he would have said you were jealous. But why would you have been? You had discussed the whole situation at length the night before that you weren’t going to pursue Buck and now there you were, looking like you were seeing red.

“Hon,” Eddie stepped over to you, grabbing onto your arm. “What’s going on?”

“I don’t know,” you shook your head. You didn’t know why it upset you so much, but it did. You knew that you said you didn’t like him like that, but…maybe now you did. Maybe all you needed was a little jealousy to make you realize it.

“Have you changed your mind?” He asked, titling your head up so you’d look him in his pretty, brown eyes. Truthfully, Eddie had to. He had thought it over the whole night and was beginning to think that he was making a mistake. Especially seeing Buck with other people.

“I think so. But Eddie, I think he hates us.”

“I don’t hate you,” Buck replied and you both turned to him, eyes wide. You supposed that you and Eddie had been so caught up in your conversation that you hadn’t noticed Buck had been standing there. “I’m more than happy to do this if you are. We can just pretend like last night never even happened.”

You and Eddie turned to each other before nodding enthusiastically. The thought of adding another person to your relationship seemed strange, but since you were all game, it actually seemed kind of exciting.

“We’re in,” you both replied in unison.

“Good,” Buck nodded, striding over to the both of you, his voice now hushed. “I’ll see the both of you in the bathroom in five minutes,” he winked then fled the locker room, leaving the both of you buzzing with nothing but nerves and excitement. Maybe this wasn’t going to be so bad after all.

[try-set-me-on-fire]

Tagged by @jeeyuns @devirnis and @rewritetheending for fuck it Friday! Here's a soft drable prompt (sweater weather) that I never posted because it's like. Almost identical to the mowing the lawn one. Oh well! Fuck it! I'll add it to the collection!

Buck is laying half on the bed, knees bent so his feet rest on the floor, head turned to watch Eddie get dressed. Eddie, a surprisingly indulgent man, usually lets him have the first shower (when they're not sharing) with only a token complaint and a smile so soft it makes Buck's heart stutter. Eventually Eddie had admitted it was a ploy to stay in bed a few minutes longer, but Buck can hardly begrudge him that when going first is a ploy for this; catching glimpses of newly familiar body parts as as Eddie puts on his boxers, watching the tense of muscles as he slides into his shirt, smiling at the little hop he does as he pulls up his jeans. Buck never liked writing essays but he thinks it would be easy if the topic was Eddie's confident fingers tucking in his shirt and doing up the button fly. He wonders how he could ever explain how handsome he finds the mundane movements of Eddie putting on an old sweatshirt, arms stretching, hands tugging, torso bending, no thought spared to the fluffy mess his hair will become once it's been dragged through the soft inside of the fabric. Eddie catches his eye as he smooths a hand over the faded and crackly Rangers logo.  "Hey," he says, a question in there, a laugh hidden behind it.  "Hi," Buck says. "I'm kind of obsessed with you.  The laugh stops hiding and floats up into the room. Eddie walks to the bed, puts his knees on either side of Buck's thighs, and flops down on top of him. Buck wraps his arms around him and smiles up at the ceiling, smiles into his hair, smiles against his shoulder. Eddie kisses his neck, nothing heated, just resting his lips against Buck’s pulse for a moment. “What about me, specifically?” He comes up to prop his chin on his elbow and look down at Buck as he asks, smiling again, that too soft one. Buck touches his lips with his fingertips. “Uh- that you’re real?” Buck smiles as Eddie laughs, and tries again. “I mean, like… you’re alive and you put on sweatshirts.”  Eddie tips forward again to laugh into Buck’s collar bone. “Hm, yeah? Good to know the bar is pretty low.”  “I mean-“ Buck laughs, too, sliding his hands up and down Eddie’s sides. “I just like the way you exist. I like that you exist.” He taps a little rhythm over Eddie’s ribs. “You… I like that we’re both alive around each other. Not like- I mean sort of in a I’m glad our near death experiences never actually killed us way, but like… I just mean I like being around you, when everything is normal. I like putting on clothes and you put on clothes and… and then we’ll go eat breakfast and do whatever we’re going to do today.” He bumps his head into the top of Eddie’s still resting on his chest. “Does that make sense at all?” Eddie pulls his head up to look at Buck, and the soft smile isn’t there but is hiding right under the surface. He kisses Buck, warm and gentle. “I know what you mean,” he says, quiet, a hand tracing over the shoulder seam of Buck’s red sweater. “I like… that you’re alive and put on clothes, too. And that you do it here, with me.” Buck grins, big and bright and understood, and Eddie kisses him again. “Yeah. You and me.” “You and me,” he agrees, kissing Buck’s forehead before sitting up and then standing. He holds out a hand. “Come on. We’ve got breakfast to eat and whatever to do.” Buck takes his hand and they move into their day. 

Tagging @forthewolves @homerforsure @burins @wildlife4life @shitouttabuck @shortsighted-owl

[ebdaydreamer]

it's a bad idea (let's do it anyway)

9-1-1 - 16.9k words - Explicit - AO3

When the loneliness of missing Abby got too much, Buck headed to a bar. When Eddie celebrated finishing the Fire Academy, his Abuela took his son and told him to go enjoy himself. Neither of them expected the other.

Buck was still with Abby, Eddie was still technically married.

There was no way this could end well

OR

the hook up fic

he first time Buck went to a bar alone after Abby left, he lasted exactly 7 minutes and 22 seconds before he turned around and went back to her apartment. It’d been so long since he went to a bar by himself. He had always gone with the sole purpose of hooking up. But Buck wasn’t that guy anymore, he didn’t want to be. Besides, he missed Abby too much to enjoy himself.

The second time Buck went into a bar alone was 4 months after she left. He managed to have at least one drink this time. The words ‘I don’t mind, you’re young, do whatever’ circled around his brain. But when he finally worked up the courage to actually take in the people around him, guilt hit him like a tidal wave. He didn’t want to hook up anymore. How could he, when he’d had the real thing and knew how good it could be?

The third time Buck went to a bar alone, he was a fully-fledged firefighter. As much of a high as that gave him, he was still restless. That night was even worse than good old-fashioned horniness. That he could handle with his hand. His skin was itching, and he wanted to crawl out of his brain. He needed something stronger and more settling than himself. Abby had been gone for months, and they were talking less and less.

‘I’m just going to look,’ he told himself. ‘Maybe the rush of that will be enough.’

Then a dark, handsome stranger walked in.

Now, in his Buck 1.0 days, he was never picky. He’d sleep with anyone he had any kind of good vibe with. Yes, he mostly slept with women, but as far as hookups go, it was usually quicker and easier, and they were more likely to be more receptive. He’d dodged a fair few punches for flirting with the wrong guy before. Needless to say, Buck never saw himself as having much of a type beyond ‘consenting’ before Abby came along.

This man, it turned out, was his type.

Dark, fluffy combed back hair, neat matching stubble, clearly works out - he could see his biceps from across the bar and through his flannel shirt. Alone.

Buck was with Abby, but there wasn’t a chance in hell he was walking out of that bar without at least buying Mr. Wet Dream a drink.

Eddie wanted the ground to swallow him whole.

He was too much of a pushover when it came to his Abuela and Tía. He’d gotten his assignment, told when his first day of work would be, and they’d practically kidnapped Chris and thrown him out the door.

“Eddito, for once in your life, let off steam while you still can.”

So now he was in a random bar in LA, feeling even more lost than when he packed his life up in a car and moved states.

It was a weekday, so the bar wasn’t too crowded. There was a TV showing some kind of sport on one wall. Maybe he could just grab a drink or two and watch whatever game was on, then go home and try and get a full night of sleep for once.

He took a seat at the bar, and was about to grab the bartender’s attention when suddenly, there was a solid mass pressed up against his side.

“Can I buy you a drink?”

Eddie turned his head, ready to politely decline, but then-

Wow.

He had never used the word ‘pretty’ to describe a man before, but dear God, this must be the prettiest man Eddie’s ever seen.

Read the rest on AO3

[nectarinesalt]

TICK // 1.1 - gimme danger

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

Rating: mature (language, sexual content)

Word Count: 640

☾

There's nothing in my dreams Just some ugly memories Kiss me like the ocean breeze

Now, if you will be my lover I will shiver and sing But if you can't be my master I will do anything

☾

September 1983 - junior year

"Who does your tattoos, Edward Munson?"

The blunt voice behind him took him off guard, appearing out of nowhere. It didn't even sound like a question. More like a matter-of-fact demand. 

Your voice was thick and dripping like honey. Deeper than the voices of other girls in your school. Eddie was so used to the high-pitched, bubblegum-popping, giggling tones of the artificial female species that wandered the halls of Hawkins High.

The cafeteria around him was bustling with all the usual assholes, but suddenly all he could focus on was the figure of you standing behind him.

Finally turning around to lay eyes on the culprit, Eddie was shocked to see you.

He knew you, of course. Or at least knew of you. 

In the back of his mind, he tried to remember if he had ever even spoken to you before. But he would have remembered your unique voice. Eddie's whole life revolved around sounds, melodies, vibrations. 

You were a year younger than him, being a junior while he was a senior. He recalled seeing you in the crowded hallways. Plain hair. A face that said leave me the fuck alone. Weren’t you a part of the French Club or some shit?

His mind was racing, but still responded to you without any sign of hesitation. There were too many witnesses around for him to let his guard down. Bako and Donny, seated at the table with him, openly stared in awe.

Eddie found his vocal cords. "I do some of them. My uncle has a friend that does some of them."

Your disarming gaze bore into him, squinting for a moment. Eddie took a second to glance down at your clothes. Blue jeans. Gray fitted t-shirt. You were plain. No other word for it.

"How much for one?"

"What?"

"A tattoo. How much do you charge for a tattoo."

Again, you didn’t really ask it as a question. It was less of an innocent query and more of a personal space invasion, a solicitation. Your face gave away not a single emotion or even a hint of a personality.

Eddie scratched his head, acting like he was thinking deeply. He glanced at Donny, who looked at him like well, say something, idiot!

"Well, sunshine, that depends." 

That's all he could think of. Why were you suddenly speaking to him? You had successfully ignored each other for the last however many years.

Your shoulders dropped in annoyance, but you still held onto the lunch tray in your hands. 

"Okay, depends on what?"

A wicked grin painted his lips. At the motion of your shoulders falling, he could easily tell that you definitely weren’t wearing a bra. Your tits were smaller than average, basically nonexistent, but Eddie had x-ray vision at the short distance between you and him.

"Hmm… size, the design… location." Leaning over in the plastic chair, he purposely fixed his eyes on your ample behind.

You scoffed at him, "Cool, you're a real Don Juan. Let's get to the point, yeah? I want a quarter sized half moon on my hip. Just the outline, nothing fancy. Need more info?"

Taking his time to answer, mainly because he suddenly found himself entertained by your impatience, he shrugged. 

"Nah. I'll do it for fifteen bucks."

"Deal. How soon can you do it?"

You were all business and no play. Eddie was enticed by your no-bullshit confidence.

A shocking flash of pink passed behind you: a popular girl chatting excitedly with a football player. Neon pink windbreaker, bleach blonde hair in perfect curls. Eddie observed her.

And then he looked back at you. So ordinary yet so different.

"How does this weekend sound?"

You held your hand out in front of him to shake. Your skin was smooth and warm on his callouses.

"Don't fuck this up, Munson. I'll see you Friday."

☾

There's nothing left alive But a pair of glassy eyes Raise my feelings one more time

☾

(song lyrics credit: "Gimme Danger" by The Stooges)

TAGLIST for this series if you would like to be notified when I post new chapters!

[renecdote]

the tide comes (and goes and goes)

yes this is my third fic in two days. no I am not okay.

@nymika-arts this one is for you 💛

It’s almost funny that Eddie brought him to the beach today. To the ocean. He doesn’t know—can’t know, Buck hasn’t told anyone—but Buck feels unbearably seen by it anyway. He almost wishes Bobby was here too, so he could let his captain wrap an arm around his shoulders and say, “See? It didn’t take either of us.”

(That’s not true though, is it? It took them, it just didn’t keep them.)

Buck, Eddie, the beach, and conversations about okay.

For BTHB: hyperventilating

[Read on AO3]

The water is calm. Too calm for surfing, Buck thinks, not that he’d be allowed to do that anyway. He’s pretty sure surfing comes under the no strenuous activity rule. Swimming, too, so he’s not really sure why Eddie dragged him out to the beach this morning when all he can do is sit in the sand and watch the water creep closer.

“Relax,” Eddie tells him, reaching up to poke at his shoulder. He’s lying on his back, eyes closed behind his sunglasses, and Buck has been trying and failing not to look at the way his tank top has ridden up slightly over his stomach, or the glow of morning sunlight across his skin, or the way his swim trunks stretch over his thighs, leaving nothing to the imagination.

So no. He can’t just relax.

He’s telling himself that the Eddie of it all is the only reason why.

“Why are we here?” Buck asks, dragging a finger through the sand. He draws a heart, then another, then another, then sweeps them all away with a flick of his hand.

“It’s a nice day.” Eddie doesn’t shrug, but Buck hears it in his voice anyway. “Why not?”

Buck frowns down at the sand between his fingers. He wonders whether he’ll ever be able to say, “you know, I’m pretty sure you jinxed me that day when you said you hoped the lightning wouldn’t strike twice,” without the joke falling flat.

“Why didn’t we bring Chris?” he asks.

An eyebrow raised over Eddie’s sunglasses. “It’s a school day.”

“Yeah, but…”

This is starting to feel like an ambush. Buck glances over his shoulder, half expecting Bobby to come walking down the beach towards them. Maybe Maddie and Hen and Chimney as well. He’s barely had a moment alone in the ten days since he was released from the hospital, someone always at the loft, someone else always calling or texting to check in. It’s unnerving that his phone is so silent now. So unnerving that Buck has to pull it out of his pocket just to check that it’s still on (that it’s still real).

Out over of the water, a seagull swoops down to the surface and arcs back up with a fish gleaming in its beak.

“Relax,” Eddie says again, quieter, and his hand is flat against Buck’s back this time, the kind of steady pressure that makes him take an automatic breath and lean into the touch. Eddie smiles. “There we go. Will you lie down now? You’re blocking my sun.”

Buck huffs. “Well if I’m blocking you sun…”

He lies back on the towel, legs stretched out in the warm sand, so close that he can feel the heat of Eddie’s body next to his own. His turns his head, watching his best friend’s chest rise and fall as he breathes, imagining how easy it would be to reach out and feel it.

I didn’t dream about you, he thinks about saying. I dreamed about everyone else but I think I was too scared to dream about you.

He takes a slow breath and holds it, holds it, holds it. Lets it out in a gust. He hasn’t told anyone that he wakes up in the night sometimes, the memory of feeling like he couldn’t breathe so visceral he thinks his lungs have stopped working again. Maybe he should, that seems like the kind of thing Maddie would tell him a doctor needs to know, but if he talks about it, then he has to talk about all the other shit going on in his head as well.

It’s almost funny that Eddie brought him to the beach today. To the ocean. He doesn’t know—can’t know, Buck hasn’t told anyone—but Buck feels unbearably seen by it anyway. He almost wishes Bobby was here too, so he could let his captain wrap an arm around his shoulders and say, “See? It didn’t take either of us.”

(That’s not true though, is it? It took them, it just didn’t keep them.)

Buck props himself up on his elbows, watching the waves race up the sand, then just as quickly retreat back to sea. He doesn’t know what time high tide is, but it’s pretty high now, surely it can’t get much higher. He glances down the beach, both directions, a crooked line of seaweed and driftwood dark against the sand.

(“It’s called a wrack zone,” Monica told him long ago, Virginia Beach bathed in golden sunset around them. “It marks the high tide line, where all the seaweed and other crap from the ocean has been washed up.”

“Why is it called wrack?” Buck asked, tracing a finger down her spine, drawing shell patterns on her suntanned back.

She laughed, a surprised kind of sound, like she couldn’t figure out why he would ask. “I don’t know, Evan. It just is. Why is anything called anything?”

He went to the library the next day, looked it up in a book and came back with the answer, and he told himself it didn’t sting when Monica didn’t care.)

“You’re thinking.” Eddie’s voice cuts through his eddying thoughts, his eyes still closed. “Stop it.”

Buck flicks sand at him. “I’m not allowed to think?”

“No.” Eddie opens one eye to look up at him. “I know what you’re like.”

Buck isn’t sure why that makes his heart stutter the way it does. He almost presses a hand against his chest, just to check that it’s still working right, but stops himself at the last second.

“Did you know that seagulls mate for life?” he asks, the first thing that comes to him, because he’s pretty sure Eddie is going to ask him if he wants to talk about what’s bothering him if he doesn’t say something, and Buck really, really doesn’t want to talk about what’s bothering him.

“Yes,” Eddie answers, surprising him. “You shared all your seagull facts after that call with the hang glider a while ago. They also have excellent memory.”

Buck barely remembers that call, it must have been… two years ago? Three? He can’t believe Eddie remembers it so well.

“What else?” he asks, curious.

“They’re omnivores,” Eddie recounts. “They fly in erratic patterns to avoid predators. They drink both salt and fresh water. And they’re symbols of healing and tranquility.”

Buck rolls his eyes, slumping back down on the sand. “Yeah, okay, I get it. Healing and tranquility.”

Eddie’s teeth poke out of the corner of his smile. “You’re the one who asked.”

He did. And he kind of wants to ask Eddie to keep talking forever, his voice drowning out the sound of the waves, but Buck bites his tongue and holds the words inside. Asking Eddie to talk to him now feels too much like the start of a slope, steep and slippery, ending in a rocky why didn’t you talk to me while I was in the coma?

The sand under his back is lumpy, something hard under his right shoulder than might be a shell, or an ocean-smooth rock, or just the nub of stick buried in the sand. Buck shifts to get away from it and ends up closer to Eddie.

“Sorry,” he mutters, starting to move away, but Eddie’s fingers brushing against the back of his hand stops him.

“’S’okay,” he says, and when Buck settles back down, he doesn’t move away. “You good?”

“Yeah.”

Getting there.

Buck closes his eyes, and doesn’t reach out to hold Eddie’s hand properly, no matter how easy it would be to do.

He doesn’t mean to fall asleep.

Wakes with a start to Eddie shifting beside him, his heart suddenly pounding, his breath sticking in his chest.

“Sorry,” Eddie is saying, his shadow cast across Buck’s face. “Sorry, I was just—Buck?”

Buck swallows, and tries to breathe, and finds that he can’t do both those things at once. Should he be able to? He can’t remember. He can’t remember how his body is supposed to work. He shoves himself up to sitting and tries to suck in more air, but his lungs burn like they’re full of smoke, suffocating him from the inside out. There’s a part of him that always thought he’d die in a fire. That he’d die doing something reckless to save someone. It wasn’t supposed to be lightning. Wasn’t supposed to be a freak fucking accident.

“Hey,” softer, closer, Eddie’s hand on his shoulder, “you’re okay. We’re at the beach, remember? Can you breathe with me?”

He takes Buck’s hand and holds it against his own chest, skin and cotton both warmed from the sun, his chest rising and falling in slow, measured breaths. Inhale, hold for one, for two, for three, and exhale. Inhale, and hold, and exhale, and hold.

They’ve done this before. It was Eddie, then, wild-eyed and gasping after a nightmare, his back pressed so far back against the wall that Buck had to crawl onto the bed, practically on top of him, to pull his hand away from clawing at his chest and press it against Buck’s own instead. He’d been terrified, then. Is something close to terrified now. But this time it’s not Eddie he’s afraid of losing, it’s himself.

He makes himself take a breath. And another. And another. He focuses on the movement of Eddie’s chest, the beat of his heart under Buck’s fingertips, the warmth of his fingers around Buck’s wrist.

“That’s it,” Eddie murmurs, and his voice is low and steady, but when Buck meets his eyes, there’s a wild edge to them that he wasn’t expecting. A blurriness that he thinks is his own tears for a moment, until he blinks and they run down his cheeks, and he finds the blurriness still there.

Buck takes another breath and it trembles, rippling through his chest, his legs, down his arms. A gull caws and he flinches. The sun flashes bright on the water. A lightning flash. Half a memory. Sea mist like rain on his face. Eddie squeezes his wrist, pulling him back before he can get lost in it.

His other hand is tight around his phone, Buck realises, three numbers typed out on the screen ready to hit call: 9-1-1.

He takes a deep breath.

Another.

“I’m okay,” he makes himself say. “Sorry, I’m—I’m okay.”

He has a sudden surge of memory:

What’s wrong with him? Why didn’t you call 9-1-1?

Because he wouldn’t let me, so I called you.

And he’d thought then—must have thought, because Chimney said—

Maybe he’s just having a panic attack.

“How do you feel?” Eddie asks, and Buck knows he doesn’t mean emotionally, although they’ll probably get to that later. He means it the same way he means it on calls: what are your symptoms? where is the pain? what do we need to treat?

Irritation licks up Buck’s spine. He’s so sick of being a patient. Sick of resting, sick of everyone being worried all the time, sick of not being fine. He tugs his hand free of Eddie’s grasp to scrub roughly at his face.

“My lungs are fine,” he says, and it comes out more shaky than sharp. “My heart is fine, my—my hands, and my knee, and everything else is all fine. You can stop looking at me like that now.”

“Like what?” Calm. Even. Always so in control.

“Like I’m going to fucking break,” Buck snaps, and the rush of anger steals his breath again, makes him cough, one hand pressed against his chest, the other held up to hold Eddie back.

It doesn’t matter. Eddie doesn’t reach for him this time. He doesn’t let go of his phone either, though, 911 one finger tap away.

“Fuck,” Buck manages, when he has caught his breath again. He squeezes his eyes shut, curls over his knees and grips his hair, like maybe he can hold himself together. Maybe all he needs to do is hold, and hold, and hold. He wishes desperately that Eddie would touch him and is absurdly grateful that he doesn’t.

Somewhere down the beach, a child shrieks. Another laughs. A parent calls for them to come out of the water and Buck feels a shot of adrenaline straight to his heart. It’s so sudden and visceral he thinks he’s going to be sick, the world tilting on it’s edge, reality spiralling away from him. He has to put a hand down in the sand, warm and almost-smooth and real real real against his skin, to try and steady himself. Fuck. Why the hell did he let Eddie bring him to a beach?

“Why don’t we get out of here?” Eddie says eventually. “I promised your sister I’d have you back for lunch.”

Lunch is still hours away, but Buck only thinks about fighting it for a second.

“Yeah,” he agrees, and he’s suddenly too tired to care how tired he sounds. “Okay.”

They’re silent as they pick up their towels, shaking the sand out before throwing them over their shoulders, the cooler bag Eddie brought hanging from one arm, beach umbrella tucked under the other, flip flops carried to the grassy edge of the beach before they put them on. Buck’s skin feels itchy, gritty from more than just sand, and the water from the makeshift shower at the edge of the carpark does little to rinse the feeling off.

“Your hands are shaking,” he realises when they’re sitting in Eddie’s truck, the engine on but the car still in park. He reaches out, but Eddie pulls his hands away, wraps his arms around his chest and tucks them under his armpits, out of reach.

Time stretches, the engine ticking, cold air blowing through the vents. Buck shivers, then shivers again, and when gritting his teeth doesn’t work, he gives in and reaches under his seat for the hoodie he abandoned here earlier. 

“I’m okay,” he tries again, fiddling with his cuffs, watching Eddie out of the corner of his eye. “I’m sorry I scared you.”

Eddie opens his mouth, probably the start of an automatic denial, then closes it again, his jaw tight.

“You don’t have to apologise,” is what he finally says, and Buck hears you’re right, you did scare me. It leaves a strange, almost salty aftertaste in his mouth.

“Do you want me to drive?” he offers.

It gets Eddie to look at him. Whatever he sees makes him frown and he reaches for the fan dial to adjust the AC. Then he sighs, looking back at Buck while he slowly stops shivering, and the last thing Buck expects him to say is, “Maddie is going to kill me.”

“Maddie likes you,” he protests, even though he’s not sure what he’s really protesting. “Why would she kill you?”

Eddie gestures, up and down and then up again, as if to say look at you, you’re a mess. Buck glares, and hugs himself a little, and tells himself it’s not sulking.

“I knew you were conspiring,” he mutters, because this whole trip was definitely an ambush.

“We weren’t—” Eddie starts, and then he bites off with another sigh, frustrated this time. “How long have you been having panic attacks?”

Buck doesn’t say anything, taking his own turn looking out the window to avoid his best friend’s gaze.

“What happened to ‘you need to talk to me’?” Eddie pushes. “I’m pretty sure that goes both ways, Buck.”

“Because you’re so good at talking,” Buck shoots back, and he hates himself a little for the way that Eddie flinches.

He used to argue with Bobby like this too. Used to push them right to the edge, right to the cliff top of regret, and wait to see if Bobby would throw them both over it.

He waits now, braced against the free fall, adrenaline sharp at the back of his tongue.

“You died,” Eddie says abruptly, and it’s not the push Buck was expecting but it almost sends him into free fall anyway, the ground taken out from under him. “You were dead, Buck, for seven fucking minutes before we got your heartbeat back, and it almost killed me too. Is that what you want to hear?”

No.  The recoil presses Buck back into his seat. He’s got a hand against his chest before he realises it hurts, pain sharp and sudden, his heart screaming and his lungs seizing. There’s wind whistling in his ears. Everything has narrowed to dead and seven fucking minutes and the smell of ozone in his nose.

“Shit,” Eddie mutters, and then he’s unclipping his seatbelt and throwing open the car door.

Wait— Buck wants to say, another surge of panic sweeping through him, but then Eddie is circling the front of the truck and pulling open his door as well.

“You’re fine,” he says, stumbling through the words like he’s trying to reassure both of them. “Deep breaths, Buck, come on.”

Fingers around his wrist again, hand on Eddie’s chest. It turns Buck towards him, sitting sideways in the seat with one leg almost on the ground, Eddie pressed in close while he coaches him to breathe. Inhale, hold for one, for two, for three, and exhale. Easier this time, but that might just be because Buck’s lungs are too tired to keep up the panic. He feels greyed out and rubbery by the time his breathing is evening out, exhaustion rushing in where the panic drains away. He sags, forward instead of back, and Eddie catches him in a hug before he can slide right out of the car.

“I’ve got you,” he says, almost a whisper, the words muffled against Buck’s hair.

Buck lifts his arms just enough to wrap them around Eddie’s back and return the hug, and then he’s just—done. Can’t fight it anymore. Doesn’t even know what it is he’s supposed to be fighting. All he can do is hold on and hope that Eddie doesn’t let go. He doesn’t even realise he’s crying until Eddie is pushing him gently back and wiping the tears away.

“I’m gonna take you home,” he says. And when Buck makes a half-formed sound of protest, he adds, “My place. I’ll tell Maddie you’re not up for lunch.”

“No,” Buck tries, and god, is that his voice?

“Sorry,” Eddie apologises, and Buck knows it means you can’t get out of telling your sister about this. Probably also I’ll be calling Bobby too.

He wants to fight it. Wants to insist that he’s fine—that he will be fine—but.

But.

Buck gives in. Lets himself be driven home—to Eddie’s house—and shuffled from front door to shower to couch. He’s starting to hurt, even though he doesn’t feel like he’s done anything that should make him hurt, but that’s pretty much situation normal these days. He doesn’t say anything about it, but Eddie knows him well so he doesn’t really have to.

“Here,” he offers, holding out Tylenol, then water. “Do you want tea?”

“I want coffee,” Buck grumbles, swallowing the painkillers. A headache is setting in and it shows no sign of letting go easily.

Eddie shakes his head, more fond than exasperated. “When the doctor clears you for coffee, I’ll be the first to buy you a cup. Is that no to tea?”

Buck shrugs, hunching down in his corner of the couch. “Tea is fine.”

He closes his eyes, then opens them again a moment later because Eddie hasn’t moved. He’s still perched on the coffee table, worrying at his lip while he watches Buck.

“What?” Buck asks, rubbing self-consciously at his birthmark

A slight head shake: nothing. Eddie stands up, takes half a step towards the kitchen, then turns back.

“We’re gonna be okay,” he says, and Buck feels the words in his chest, lodging somewhere around his heart. An affirmation. A promise. A fuck you to the universe and whatever it wants to throw at them next.

“Yeah,” he agrees, offering Eddie a smile. “‘We’re gonna be okay.”

And when he’s alone—when he’s lying back on the couch with the muted sound of the boiling kettle like a shell held up to his ear, the ocean rushing through him—Buck takes a deep breath—and another and another—and finds that he believes it. Not today, not tomorrow, but one day—whenever one day comes—they’re gonna be okay.