#lets support our disabled siblings!

[thedisablednaturalist]

In case the esim process confuses you or you aren't able to buy them yourself for any other reason, crips for esims for Gaza is collecting donations, they've almost met their goal of $150,000 raised. Donating allows them to buy esims in bulk which allows them to obtain more than individuals would be able to. I just donated and it was super easy as you can use paypal.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I told my sister she wasn't entitled to everything just because she's pregnant?

I (19F) have a younger sister, E, who just turned 18. She got emancipated when she was 16, and moved out to go and live with her boyfriend (my age). E is currently 8 months pregnant. She shared with me, the day she found out, that her baby 100% does NOT belong to her boyfriend of 3 years. This is important because he continues to stay with her, much to his parents' discontent. She lived with him for about 6 months of her pregnancy, but absolutely trashed their house every day, refused to work, and refused to do anything around the house other than smoke weed in their bedroom, so they called our mom, and forced her to come and pick E up.

We let E stay at our house after that. It's important to note that we live in a 4 bedroom, where our youngest sibling still lives in our parents bedroom, and one of our other younger siblings had to give up their room for her to stay in. She got a job in our small town (~3000 people), and started to spread rumors at work about how terrible we were, how we were forcing her to work while pregnant, and taking all of her paycheck. None of which was happening. Our parents told E that she could either get a job and pay for some of the groceries, or she could give us her food stamps payments, which she usually sells for weed, as there are 4 other kids under the age of 18 in the house that they have to provide for. E later got fired for smoking weed in the bathroom of the restaurant where she worked. When we brought up how she'd need to give us that months food stamps for us to let her stay, because she got fired, she brought me into the argument. She said that since I was over 18, I should have to work as well to earn my spot in the house, when in reality, most of what I do all day is clean up after and take care of our younger siblings. My mom argued back on my behalf, saying that since I'm disabled, and my disability checks, as well as child support payments from my biological father, go to living expenses, I shouldn't be suddenly forced to move out when I do my share of work around the house. E blew up on our mom for defending me, citing her own history of mental health issues and her pregnancy, and left.

A few weeks ago, she came back, asking for a room while she waited for her new apartment to clear, as her boyfriend's parents had once again kicked her out. Our parents agreed, on the grounds that she stay in the trailer we have on the property, as opposed to taking over our younger sibling's room again, because she completely trashed it last time and refused to clean or fix anything she broke. She agreed.

Here's where I may be the asshole. Every time she's in the house proper, she badgers me to make her food, when I am clearly busy cleaning or taking care of one of our younger siblings. She takes over the chair that our mom has to sit in for her back issues, citing her pregnancy as to why she needs the extra back support. She uses our younger sister's expensive bath products, which she had to get a babysitting job to pay for herself, without asking, and didn't stop when asked, despite having her own bath products. She constantly complains about how I never do anything, despite the fact that while she says that, I'm actively cleaning up after her the same amount I am a literal four year old, while she never even lifts a finger to help out, or even make her own food. She does not pay for food, or pay any sort of rent at all, as she's only supposed to be here for a few more weeks. The absolute last straw for me was when I, a chronically ill person who has to have a very specific diet and meal replacement shakes, came out of my room to see her eating from a tupperware container literally labeled with my name, and drinking one of my meal replacement shakes.

Would I be the asshole if I told her that just because she's pregnant, that doesn't mean she's entitled to all of our things? I want to tell her that she needs to start making her own food, and cleaning up after herself, instead of forcing me to do it. I want to tell her that, just because I'm her older sister, that doesn't mean that I still have to take care of her like our 4 and 7 year old ones. That she doesn't need to keep taking from things specifically bought by/for another person in the house, without offering to pay for it or compensate?

WIBTA?

What are these acronyms?

[kakiastro]

Pluto Aquarius : The Abstract Era

Photo by unknown

Hey y’all I’m back with another post! This is a good one because this transit is a major one that’s going to impact us all! To see how it’s going to impact you, check your natal and progressed chart. Look for the house Aquarius rules over. This house represents that particular area in your life. Ex. Aqua 4h, so your home, mother, family will be going through huge changes during this time.

Disclaimer: these are just my own predictions based on my years of studying astrology and applying the archetypes of the planet and sign. the future is unknown but that doesn’t mean we still cant predict the themes of what to at least be aware of. Remember this transit will effect everyone differently because we all have different birth charts. Read this post as a collective reading than individual reading.

Pluto entered Aquarius March 24 until June 12th before it goes back into Capricorn until January 23. It will then stay in Aquarius for the next 20 years! Yes 20!! If you’re in your 20s that mean your Aquarius house in your birth chart will go through massive transformations until you’re in your 40s. Aqua placements, this is a huge time for you!!

If you need a reminder on what rules what, then here’s a list. Feel free to write it down in your own notes.

Pluto rules over: death/rebirth, birth, transformations, exchanges, debt, occult, cult, taboo, horror movies, power, wealth(Pluto means wealth), sex/sexuality, reproduction system, legacy, inheritances, heirs/heirlooms, partners money/joint finances, psychics/psychic gifts, psychology, therapist, , surgeries writers(crime, or dark themes), mortality, funerals, memorials, graveyards, secrets and hidden things, disappointments, deep fears, our experiences.

Aquarius rules over human/humanity, society, social groups, friend group, acquaintances, clubs, large groups of people, community, supporters, “stans (loyal fans), astrology, wish fulfillment, Social Media/content creators, technology, sciences, aviation and speed, projects, innovation ideas, ankles and calves, uniqueness, outcast, disabled people, adoption, step siblings. Chimps/Apes

What does this mean Globally? Well let’s look and see how this will “probably” play out. I put those words in quotations because as astrologers we can only predict what might happen. We sit back and watch the show just like you😂 but that’s what make astrology fun and enlightening.

These are my personal predictions that I believe will be the themes. Remind you, this is a 20 year transit so some of this won’t happen overnight. I live in the US so a lot of the predictions is based on what’s happening here but it can still apply to other countries because we’re all connected some way

Predictions

-Ai. It’s everywhere, and I’m just going to be honest I don’t think it’s going anywhere and I believe it will advanced. Good news is that we are fighting as a collective to not let it replace us. Ai is suppose to help assist us not replace us. I think their will be some government control over it. I think we will eventually have robot type teachers, holograms, hologram type traveling, will assist doctors and medical discoveries. Ai is going to be used in everyday life for mundane things, AI use in airplanes and Cars. Faster trains.

-the Aliens 👽. The government has finally acknowledged other life forms even though we all knew this lol. Aliens have and will be a continuing topic.

-Government. I do believe there’s going to be new laws or even a constitution that will fit with this century standards and not our forefathers. Pluto rules over extreme changes. Aquarius rules over the government just like Capricorn. Remember Aqua is also co-ruled by Saturn. The difference is that Capricorn creates laws to maintain order and structure while Aquarius breaks and create new laws that can be beneficial for everyone.

-Fashion. We are entering the Cosplay everyday era. What I mean is that people are going to dressing up in the abstract clothing and it’ll be the norm. Comic con is going to be an everyday event because people are going to dress like their favorite characters just because Lol. I feel like more people are going to entrepreneurs and create a more chill vibe and have less corporations rule setting. It’s giving the office vibes lol. I also feel like more people are going to be wearing comfortable clothing than trying to “fit in.” Sustainability/Recycled clothing will be a huge fashion trend. Blues, dark reds, silver, dark yellows may be popular colors.

-protest and strikes! We’re already seeing it with Hollywood. So many actors and writers have come out and said their not making hardly nothing! Only 2% of this industry is wealthy, which means most are broke asf. Then I remembered Hollywood is Pisces energy. (Illusions & lies) what does this mean for HW in the future? Theyre not going anywhere lol. Aquarius is Leo sister sign, it’s also a fame sign. There’s always going to be famous people, however; I believe independent movie studios will be on the rise such as A24. More celebrities getting involved in activism and humanitarian projects than movies/tv. More celebrities connecting with non celeb people. I actually think a lot of them will help regular people kickstart their non-profits. More celebrities becoming entrepreneurs. This isn’t going to just be happening in the entertainment industry, this is going to happen in every industry. It wouldn’t surprise me if we see more airline protest and strikes. Moral of the story, people are going where theyre actually appreciated.

-Sex. I believe people are going to be more open when it comes to their sexuality. Talking about sex will be a normal conversation. I truly believe we are entering “let your freak fly era.” People may start to get into some crazy kinky stuff (no judgement, you do you boo!) lol

- community. Here’s the thing, I do feel like people will find their “tribe” “community” “soul group” whatever you call it but it won’t happen until you know who you are as a person first. What can you bring to the group? How can you help if you don’t know your own strengths and weaknesses? Even better question, how you gone join a community when you don’t even know what community you should join because you don’t know who you are? This is what the current North Node Aries transit will teach you! When you figure out who you are is when you will find your people.

-marriage and family. I believe we are going to start seeing more diverse families and couples. People are going to find love away from their home/culture. You may see lots of stories of people finding love overseas while traveling. People may meet their partner at random places or at a random time in their life. I feel like adoption will be a focus such as affordability, people finding out their adopted, people adopting. I believe tough conversation around adoption will rise such as people who adopt children for selfish reasons such as exploitation, adoptees talking about how hard life was for them. Remember Pluto reveals the dark side of things. I actually feel like people will start marrying more for stability then the traditional “I love you” romantic way, I also feel like people will marry their best friend(non romantic) to get by. Pluto aqua rules over USA 2h/3h (placidus)

- the outcast. more women/minorities will be entrepreneurs and working in the communication media, maybe more women(especially black)influential content creators. You may see more Poc and women working in the tech industry and more in the entertainment industry such as more award winning directors, screenwriters etc disabled people especially physical will start to be in different industries getting noticed, becoming well known activist.

-money and transportation. I do feel like there’s going to be a huge shift in our economy. I feel like crypto currency or some form of a digital banking will become our norm. Physical dollar will start to become a thing of the past. I just read an article a few months ago stating the first flying car will be released in 2025. Phones, computers are going to be more advanced than they are now. I don’t know how but it will be. We may end up having full on digital libraries that’s more advanced than kindle and others. In the USA chart, Pluto Aquarius will be in the 3h.

-health and sciences. The medical industry is going to have lots of breakthroughs. Lots of new discoveries on surgery equipment. We are going to be seeing a lot of impossibles become possible. We’re already seeing it. I just saw a surgery where they can adjust your height. Who would’ve thought that was possible 10 years ago lol. Buts that’s where the medical field is going. Pluto rules over extreme changes. I’m personally curious on the technology that’s going to help physically disabled people and what type of advancements will be discovered there.

-Animals. More People are going to start having all types of pets. The classic I have a cat, dog or goldfish won’t be your only type of pet. Instead we’re going to be hearing I have a dog and 2 raccoons lol. Aquarius rules over Apes, i wonder if there’s going to be some planet of the apes scenario. Not them taking over but studies may come out showing they’re more evolved then we realize👀

-internet. I’m going to be real honest with you and I’m not trying to instill fear or none of that but we all need to start being more private on the internet. Don’t post where you are until a few days after you’ve left. If you can, make your page private. Pluto rules over stalkers and aqua rules the internet. If you can avoid it, please don’t have your young kids on the internet without your supervision. Make their pages private too. If you have teenagers, please have a thorough conversation with them about the dangers of the internet, especially when it comes to weirdos asking them for nudes. Listen I grew up when having these talks about the internet wasn’t a thing because our parents didn’t have this growing but we can help the next generation from our mistakes. Like I said I’m not trying to scare anyone. We live in a digital world now so I want you all and your families to take safety precautions.

Thank you for taking the time to read. I know this post was long but I wanted to cover a much as I could. Please feel free to reblog and write your own predictions.

Sources:

Rex E. Bills book “the rulership book” (highly recommended)

USA Sibly chart on astrodienst website

Derivative houses(advanced astrology.

[bunnyseahorse-blog]

I don’t feel like my therapist is listening, so I fired him, and I don't even feel bad.

I have half a dozen serious mental illness diagnosis and medical issues. When I applied for disability I was approved in three months (usually takes longer from what I'm told) and almost immediately moved from their metaphorical “she might get better” to “she’s going to be receiving benefits for life” pile.

The doctor I saw from age 7 to 30 advised me not to drive because of my condition that causes me frequent fainting.

She suggested I not live alone because I have delusions, mood swings and sometimes need to be hospitalized. I saw this doctor for 23 years, and also went to other specialists that agreed with her. I saw her until she was retired.

My general doctor says that even though I am overweight she is pleased with my glucose and cholesterol levels. My old, and also my new psychiatrists agreed with her.

My parents say I can live with them and have support. They are actually creating an expansion on the house so I can live on my own sort of and still have them nearby. My eldest sibling is inheriting the house when my parents die and they will rent to me until I die. We don't always get along, but I am trying, and we are navigating our unique dynamic so we can make it work.

This new therapist I’ve been seeing keeps insisting I go off disability, get a job, move out of my family’s house, live alone, and lose weight. Because I’m too old to “mooch off my parents.” He made comments from the get go about my weight. I am overweight yes, but he's not a doctor or nurtritionist. I am not experiencing any health issues because of my weight, which is partly due to my medical conditions and my meds. He made a comment once that i should show some pride in myself and not wear a beanie to sessions "do something nice with my hair." He told me once my shoulders looked smaller and I must be doing better. I was thinking.... do I have fat shoulders too??

I am going to a session today to explain to him nicely that he needs to let me set my own goals, and also educate him on how my life really is. I don’t think therapists should require educating. If he doesn’t get it, I’m leaving the session but I’m giving it a shot anyways.

I’m scared and I’m angry. Wish me luck? I don't want to be a project for him. I want to talk about things in sessions that i need to, not what he considers on his own agenda.

EDIT: I went to the session and voiced my concerns about he got a little defensive, but eventually seemed to see what i was saying and switched his focus to what I told him my goals were. However... I wanted a therapist to help me work through my abandonment issues and trauma, not a life coach to push me. I think i might find someone with a different focus is good. (plus him getting defensive isn't a great sign to me) he also insinuated that my little sister, who he has heard off, never met and never examined, is mentally handicapped because of one of her birth parents. We've had her tested, and everyone seems to be saying she's very sharp and doesn't have what her birth mom has. He also asked what my doctor of 23 years even did for me. I was like... diagnosed me with everything I have? Oh but according to him, diagnoses aren't relevant. I have a condition similar to schizophrenia, and yes you should know if you have that....

Also... I signed something saying he could have access to the last notes of my previous therapist, since I have extensive history but he apparently never got it, never told me he didn't get it, and wants me to go through the process again. I feel like the office dropped the ball, because I signed it already.

I think it might be time to move on... I canceled my next appointment. I feel like I should be able to find someone who listens better, and is there to help me, not fix me into things I am not capable of. Having him insist I am wrong and lazy for excepting my limitations, after the long grieving process that came with becoming permanently disabled at 26, has been upsetting, because I keep doubting myself, even though I know I have done the right things.

[lifewithchronicpain]

We so often view our worth as a productive human in being employed and even better if you're supporting yourself independently. That's a capitalist viewpoint that doesn't consider life outside a job and paycheck.

I am disabled and can no longer work. I'm on a fixed income and luckily supported by my parents, so I can maintain a comfortable life as possible. I spend a lot of time in bed watching TV from pain, exhaustion, nausea, etc... but that's not all I do.

As an aunt I have babysat my niece and nephew many times, providing free childcare for my sister.

I participate in household chores, most often by doing dishes and caring for the pets.

I cook supper once of week for my family.

I am currently fostering kittens to be put up for adoption.

I am still a consumer who spends all their income, and doesn't hold money out of the economy.

I am a writer with a humble blog and Tumblr that tries to bring awareness to many issues but especially disability.

I give advice to the people in my life, especially my younger sibling.

That's just what I can think of off the top of my head but I'm sure there's more.

Also let's be clear, being productive is not a measure of someone's worth as a human being. But we can also rethink productivity and recognize that many disabled people are doing things that you just don't even notice.

[misted-buttercup-enjoyer]

Two-For-One Disability Month Special: Undertale Oneshots

Happy Disability Month guys! Don't forget that July is Disability Month by the way. I have lots of headcanons for Disabilities in UT/DR so I *may* post more of these unless I get too distracted. LMao. Enjoy the stories!

~~~

Part One: ASL Discussion with Frisk

“We shall have to discuss this properly, but in exchange for magic, we can probably promise to supply you with basic protection and rights,” one of the State Leaders was telling Asgore as the two of them busily chatted about integrating monsterkind in with humanity. Frisk knew humanity had suffered a lot recently, with plague, failing crops, and rebellions. The chance to fix some things up using magic wasn’t something they would want to miss out on.

Meanwhile Papyrus was gazing at Frisk curiously. “HUMAN…I CAN’T HELP BUT NOTICE THAT THIS HUMAN DOES NOT TAKE PAUSES WHILE SPEAKING.”

Frisk was a bit surprised. “Yeah,” they said. “I have–a stutt–er.”

“OH! THAT–REALLY EXPLAINS EVERYTHING!” put in Papyrus, looking a tad embarrassed.

“Huh. You were so quiet, I never really noticed,” commented Undyne.

Toriel smiled down at Frisk. “My child, do you know sign language?”

Frisk frowned and shook their head. “I always–wanted–to learn–but I–never found–any–one–who–could teach–me.”

“Human sign language may have changed since I found that book in Waterfall, and I’m sure monster sign, which originated from human sign, will have developed some accent differences…” Toriel began speculating, sounding like an excited teacher taking on a new project.

“Accents?” asked Frisk, curious.

“Yes! Different places have many differents sign language  accents and accessories. Quite charming, is it not?” Toriel grinned. “Sign language is also much like a different language. There is a difference in sentence structures to English. Did you know, when referring to an event that happened, you will use the front of your body as a timeline? If you put your hand close to you, it happened in the past. Far in front of you, will happen in the future. And in the middle, something that is happening.”

“Wow–! I–didn’t–know that–sign was–so diff–erent!” This was interesting.

“Human sign?” Alphys had been listening to this conversation with interest. “Maybe I could learn!”

“You know what?! LET’S ALL LEARN!” shouted Undyne excitedly. “Frisk freaking freed our civilization! (While we were all trying to kill them.) The least we could do is learn sign so they aren’t constantly struggling to make a single SENTENCE!”

Frisk hopped up and down. “Yes yes–yes yes–yes yes–YES!”

“SANS?” put in Papyrus.

Sans was watching Frisk’s fun with amusement.

“DO NOT BE A LAZYBONES! YOU HAVE TO LEARN WITH US! IT WILL BE FUN!!! BESIDES…IF YOU WILL NOT, YOU KNOW I CAN PICK YOU UP AND CARRY YOU TO LESSONS! NYEH HEH HEH!!!”

“sure,” agreed Sans easily. “i’ll learn it.” He winked at Frisk. Frisk gave him fingers-guns in return.

“Is that human sign?” asked Toriel, forgetting that Frisk couldn’t sign in her sudden distress. “Oh dear, I must be further behind than I thought…”

“No,” stated Frisk while the entire group erupted with laughter. Except Asgore, who looked over curiously and, when Undyne explained the situation, seemed just as confused as Toriel.

~~~

Part Two: Crutch-User Chara

Asriel glanced at Frisk, who seemed unconcerned, swinging their legs back and forth. It was all fine for them, thought Asriel. They had raised the dead before–him. But humans seemed so much more complicated than monsters. Chara had fallen to the ground, legs unable to support them, briefly after getting their body back.

A nurse hurried down the hall and approached the siblings. “Are you Frisk and Asriel Dreemurr?”

“Yes!” exclaimed Asriel, jumping up with an energy that surprised even himself. “Is Chara okay?”

The nurse smiled. “She–whoops, they are fine. However, their legs get worn out very easily. They’ll be using either crutches or a wheelchair most of the time.”

Asriel nodded, anxiety pricking his heart for his best friend. Chara had always loved gymnastics, and pulling off stunts of physical derring-do. Would Chara be upset they couldn’t move anymore?

“Would you like to visit them, children?”

“YES!” gasped Asriel instantly, as Frisk nodded excitedly.

“All right, I can take you to their room.” The nurse took Asriel and Frisk’s hands and companionably walked them down the hall, in the elevator (letting Frisk press the button), and down another hall and did these halls ever end? Asriel wasn’t usually an impatient person, but he really wanted to get to Chara, soon.

The nurse knocked. “Come in!” called Asgore.

Asriel tapped his foot while the nurse spent what was only a few seconds that felt like hours searching her keychain for the correct key before unlocking and opening the door. Frisk and Asriel burst in. 

Chara glanced at them. “Hi guyssss!” they shouted enthusiastically. They didn’t seem particularly put off by their crutches, and were swinging themself around the hospital room at an alarming rate, dodging furniture by a hair's breadth and always one step ahead from Asgore, who was trying to catch them. 

“Chara, please stop!” begged Asgore. “You’re too fast for me to catch and I fought in a war!”

Chara cackled as they swung themself around the hospital table and got knocked over.

Asgore squealed and situated Chara back up on their crutches. Chara wasn’t put off by the failure and went right back to running.

“No more!” ordered Toriel in her firm voice, so Chara rolled their eyes, stopped, and then grinned at Asriel and Frisk. “Frisk! Azzy! Look at these things! I think I might be moving even faster than before I got them!”

Frisk clapped their hands in enthusiasm. “Cool!” commented Asriel as Chara started running again.

Toriel and Asgore cornered Chara while Toriel picked the human child up and said “When I said no more of that, I meant it.” But she was smiling so hard. Everyone could tell she was ecstatic at Chara’s return.

Asriel found himself giggling. He had forgotten how…fun Chara was. Humorous, zealous, energized, and so full of life. As a flower, he had forgotten all that and idolized Chara, erasing their real self. Chara hadn’t been Chara, Chara had been the voice inside of Asriel’s head he used to judge himself. And of course he would have to sit Chara down and make sure they knew that murder was bad, manipulation was bad, but…

Asriel smiled as Toriel and Chara started exchanging leg puns. This was a good day.

[prototypelq]

Nero?

YESSS NEROBOI lets goooo

Ember, thanks for choosing Nero. I don't really talk about him enough, or, well, I rarely ever do talk about him at all sadly, and this injustice has to be eliminated! I adore the nephew/son, and he is a precious punk boi who I should appreciate more.

favourite thing about them

ONE-ARMED NERO. I love Nero for many things, but his time as a wounded/disabled is my favourite period of him for real. Boi was truly physically Hurt for the, probably, second only time in his life and he didn't stop for a second when the situation called for all hands on deck. One-Armed Nero literally stared down a demon king that has killed Dante before his eyes, and went 'I can take him'.

Of course, part of it was pure spite, sparda losers are known to be very good at using it as fuel, but also, this takes some fucking Guts and I really respect him for that.

Also the one-handed reload animation. I love many things about DMC5, but one-handed Nero reload animation might be the most underappreciated thing in this fandom, in my opinion.

least favourite thing about them

the fact that he got his arm to regrow. I genuinely wish he didn't. Being disabled didn't slow the boi down even for a second, he was even able to fight properly before Nico invented Breakers, Breakers themselves are very creative tools to help Nero be more capable in a fight, plus he even got two additional gorgeous dt wingclaws!

Just imagine if Nero didn't regrow his arm back:

The twins will have a constant visual reminder how close they were to losing everything they love, that despite how unimaginably bad it had gotten in dmc1 - dmc5 story was much Worse.

Nero himself would remain the same way he was. He could use with wingclaws to help with tasks if he really needs two hands, but he also adapted to living with only one hand. Maybe he could use the wingclaws to wield Red Queen and shoot at the same time.

I know some people enjoy the fantasy of a disabled character finding a 'cure' for their disability, but I am not one of those. I want to see characters suffer, get support from their family and then heal to live on with what they go through.

favourite line

credits cutscene. 'i won't cry (answers phone) devil may cry -fuck'. never fails to make me laugh

brOTP

Nero and Nico are siblings, they are great. Also Nero and Patty, they are cousins and get along like house on fire and I refuse to believe anything else.

OTP

NeroKiri. This is the rare case when I'm mostly happy we don't see much more of a canon Kyrie, cause I do not trust Capcom with any female characters at all, and I doubly so don't trust them with female characters from DMC specifically. So yeah, I'm glad here our fandom hands are free to make up our own version of Kyrie and her relationship with Nero. I do believe Kyrie to be a very capable and strong woman in her own right, otherwise Nero wouldn't have fallen for her.

nOTP fucking incest

random headcanon

He can play guitar and some basic drums, can dance, cannot sing at all, but he can rap very impressively well. Also, I support the 'Italian Fortuna' headcanons for the fun of it - bilingual Nero for the win!

Secretly likes to listen to Red Hot Chilli Peppers when Dante has them on.

unpopular opinion

sorry not sorry for this, but I heavily dislike the common fandom interpretation of the orphans he and Kyrie foster. Nero is a mature boi for sure, but not mature enough to be fostering children. It works for me if the fostering is a temporary solution, then he and Kyrie are more or less like camp counsellors or older siblings role, but I don't like the situation remaining that way forever. Don't get me wrong, I adore found families, it just seems to me like Nero is not mature enough to be raising children, half his age ones at that. At least, nothing I have seen in canon suggests he is mature enough for this.

song i associate with them

favourite picture of them

his classic :T face. extremely adorable and hilarious

[that-disabled-princess]

Hey uhm... if you don't mind, I have a question for you. I saw in one of your recent posts that you're a fellow non-SAM aromantic. Are you out to anyone irl as aro? If so, how did you explain the whole labeling your "sexuality" (as in, general orientation) without actually labeling your sexuality? Because I kinda wanna come out to my best friend as aromantic and I'm not sure how to do it. I have thought about coming out as aroace (as my experiences are a lot closer to ace than allo) but I'm not really comfortable with the ace label as I simply don't know if it's really accurate. Plus, I'm afraid my friend would miss that I'm aro and just call me ace whenever the topic of orientation comes up (without any bad intentions but still). But I also don't want my friend to assume I'm sexually interested in people.

Do you have any advice, perchance?

(Unrelated to that, I'm happy I found another physically disabled non-SAM aro on here)

Hi! Sorry it took me a minute to answer this, I wanted to give this ask a thoughtful answer.

I am out to irl people as aro. My best friend and my immediate family are the only ones I'm really out out to, though. I don't tend to take the time to explain it unless I actually need to because... you're right. It is so, extremely difficult explaining what being aspec means and all the little nuances of the a-spectrum.

I don't think I ever properly came out to my family either until this year. Just... made some aro jokes and let them assume whatever they wanted. I stopped coming out with every new update a couple years ago. My family is supportive and accepting, and our mom doesn't pressure us into any sort of relationship or anything like that.

Clarification: When I say "family" here, I mean my immediate family only. We're not even gonna touch my extended family.

Now, I did identify as aroace for a bit before realizing I wasn't exactly asexual. But my aromanticism has always been a bigger part of my identity, so as far as I can remember, dropping the asexual label wasn't a huge deal to anyone.

At the beginning of January, though, I did try to explain the concept of being aro without being ace to my family. Since my sibling is aroace, I'm not sure they (my sibling) really got it, but they did accept it. I explained that sexual and romantic attraction are two different things, and that you can feel one without feeling the other. We were running an errand, so it was a bit of a... rushed explanation.

If I'd had more time to explain the differences, though, these would've been some of the examples I used:

First off, one-night stands are a thing. You don't have to be romantically attracted to someone to be sexually attracted to them or to have sex.

You can also have a crush on someone without wanting to bang them.

Therefore, sexual and romantic attraction can be felt separately and are two different things, and alloaces and aroallos and non-SAM aces and aros are valid.

As for your concern about others assuming you're sexually interested in people: for me personally--and I've seen other non-SAM aros talk about this--my aromanticism affects the way I experience sexual attraction. I experience sexual attraction, but not Like Allos Do. My romantic orientation is aro, and my bisexuality is also aro. In a way, it is much closer to the asexual experience, only none of the acespec labels feel right. I don't know what being non-SAM aro is like for you, though, but it sounds like your experiences might be similar, so maybe this explanation can help?

And as for coming out as something you're not... The want to do that really is something, huh?

I'd say it's better to be honest if you're in a safe enough place to do so. (And this is coming from someone who originally came out as a lesbian due to internalized biphobia.) Be honest with your friend and be kind to yourself. Let your friend know that you're still working through some stuff and still figuring things out. If they're a good friend, they'll understand that.

I hope this is helpful and that everything goes/went well, love 💚💚

[iguessitsjustme]

I don't know if you'll have enough for a top 5 with only this year, but what about your Top 5 Siblings? 😇 -☆

Top 5 siblings? You mean my entire heart all of the time??

Let's see if there are 5 siblings from 2023 for me to include on this list...there are so many siblings in 2023. 11 just from the BL I watched this year. And now I need to limit myself to 5? Just 5? Oh my poor heart. Okay I can do this.

5. Stay By My Side

I loved the relationship Bu Xia had with his sister. They were such siblings but they obviously cared a lot for each other. His sister even went out of her way to do what she could to stop him from hearing the ghosts. And she was supportive of his relationship. Love it.

4. Minato's Coin Laundry

The only good thing to come from the amnesia plot was how Shin's sister handled it. She stood by Minato and tried to help Shin. She loves both of them and she is so appreciative of how Shin takes care of her. And Shin obviously loves his siblings a whole lot. I love a good older sibling that takes care of their younger siblings.

3. Kiseki: Dear to Me

Zong Yi and his sister gave me LIFE. The way his sister hit on his boyfriend in front of him unknowingly and then walked in on those two making out and just slowly backing away was great. The quiet acceptance of it all really got to me. Plus she (and her father) were willing to accept Ze Rui even after Zong Yi went to prison for him. Not only went to prison but is now disabled for the rest of his life because of it. And they love who he loves and they accept him as he is and help him when he needs help. I need to stop or I'll start crying and rambling about the whole show.

2. Laws of Attraction

This one is so heartbreaking but Tinn loved Tonkhao so much and he was devastated by her loss. One of the best, but also hardest, parts of that show for me was learning about Tonkhao and how much those two loved each other through flashbacks. Tinn did everything he possibly could for his sister and her death was a tragedy. And he spent the entire show fighting for justice for her. Even if that meant fighting against Charn. It was as beautiful as it was heartbreaking.

Our Dining Table

Could number one go to anyone except Minoru and Tane. The world's best brothers. These two gave Yutaka a family. Tane is adorable and Minoru leaves school so he can make sure Tane is taken care of??? I'm still crying. I also love that they showed a moment that Minoru faltered and wasn't the best brother because he was also dealing with his own grief and loss and not ready for his new responsibilities because it really shows that Minoru chooses to take care of Tane with such love and compassion even though he struggles with it at times. It is a choice he makes to be kind and gentle and I love him so much for it.

Ask Me Top 5 BL Anything of 2023

[yeahhhhboi]

I said what I said. We exist and I’m tired of being told we don’t. (TW Homophobia/Transphobia & death threats)

I love being North African, anyone can tell you I’m a proud Moroccan. But I’m tired, the way we (LGBTQIA+ people) are treat by our North African siblings are abysmal. The outing culture, the abuse, the misgendering, the assault, and the honour killings. Where honestly I see no honour is your honour going to let you into Jannah for taking a life, threatening our lives, for being violent towards us, for harming another human being? No. We just want to live in peace and exist with joy pride and happiness in being North African and LGBTQ+. But that will not happen anytime soon because we still got people sending death threats on social media, people pushing away others from the faith (as if it will get themselves into heaven), we got people like Sarah Hegazi who are tortured by the police and end up taking their lives due to the trauma. So I will remind you again the we exist and we have always existed. And we are proud to be both North African and LGBTQ+. And to my fellow queer and trans siblings we got each other. There are two organisations I personally know of if you want to check them out and support them @imaanlgbtqi who support LGBTQIA Muslims & @moroccan.outlaws.490 who supports LGBTQIA Moroccans. If you know of any other Queer organisations who support North Africans and Muslims please send it my way (either DM or comments) and I’ll compile a file of resources for us as a community to use. If you are able please support me on Ko-Fi I’m trying to save up for some accessibility aids and for survival because at the moment ko-fi and commissions are my only form of income due to disability and injury.

[maxellminidisc]

Like you absolutely grow up way too fast when you have a sibling with disabilities because you either start thinking or are influenced to feel that you have to be a parent or a grown up to help your sibling when truly your job is to be a sibling with some awareness that your sibling requires different kinds of care. And that can either end up making you direct resentment to the wrong person (aka your sibling and not your parents for neglecting your needs as another child in the home) or feeling like you have to handle responsibility at the same level as your parents that they should be shouldering and not you, even to the point where like all the desires you may have, you may even believe you have to set them aside to be of help.

And it sucks cause growing up you feel like you cant talk about any negative emotion about these circumstances or your environment, especially feelings of neglect or isolation, without looking like a bad person, feeling guilty about having these feelings in comparison to what your siblings is going through, like you're being selfish or a brat, and often as a result you end repressing it and putting it in your head that you have to ALWAYS be good so you're not adding more burden to the situation at home.

And its wild cause like parents need to instead foster siblinghood amongst their kids, not making them fit into adult roles or worse, doing the opposite of this and leaving them in the dark when it comes to what their siblings are going through and ultimately making them feel like an outlier. This would be far more helpful in the future for all siblings involved given that a majority of people with disabilities that have siblings, end up with their siblings being the people who are most constant in their lives, even more so than parents because we unfortunately are more likely to outlive our parents. When we have the opportunity to have space and desires for ourselves with support from family, to have fostered lives like anyone else where we have the ability and assured space for ourselves then family, I think making the switch to being our siblings main source of support and care wouldn't feel like an extension of that environment of, dare I say, enmeshment? that can happen. And not to mention I highly fucking doubt siblings with disabilities appreciate that their siblings act like parent figures all the time when all they went is a brother or sister, someone who treats them like a person with their own autonomy that their parents can sometimes unfortunately fail at.

It crazy cause like I think now that me and my sister are adults we understand that WAY more than our mom does LMAO I sometimes try to do things for her from years of habit and conditioning to always be looking after her and she'll be like "Stop. You're not my mom and I can do it" or "Hey I need space, go away and draw or something " and I'm like damn ur right ok! LMAO started realizing I could be far more of help to my sister as her sister than as her psuedo dad and it absolutely is true. Because now that's shes dealing with trauma, my sister doesn't trust anyone else in my house with her feelings or what she needs, let alone her words except me now that I've slowly started to change our dynamic. Everyone has to basically communicate with her through me now that's she gone non verbal with most people.

[cl0udpup]

Sibling trauma

TW: addiction, severe mental illness, hospitalization, relational abuse, self-harm, disability

I just got a handful of paragraphs of texts from my estranged sibling. They send me into immediate anxiety every time I hear from or about them.

Everything feels urgent, like an emergency, with them. They exude chaos. They are an addict, and have hurt me badly many times.

Growing up

We were never very close growing up. We had fun as toddlers and elementary school age, but also fought violently.

They expressed their discomforts loudly, required a lot of support from my mom, and most of the family’s energy and attention was focused on them. I had chaotic meltdowns as well, but mostly turned my pain inward and attempted to take care of myself.

Things were relatively calm for them in middle school, while this became a time of deep struggle for me. Again, I kept it all to myself. My mom had no idea I was struggling immensely with self-harm until a friend found out in 8th grade and urged me to tell her. My dad was nowhere to be found during all this other than to yell at me for hurting myself and take my bedroom door off it’s hinges.

Late high school was when we really realized something was going on with them. They did zero self-care like taking showers, grooming, wearing clothes besides pajamas. They were always exhausted, eyes barely open, falling asleep at the dinner table. I found out years later they were actually nodding off from heroin.

It was hard to know how to support them, or even recognize what was going on, because the majority of interaction with them was them destroying shit around the house, screaming at people, being abusive.

I was dealing with severe mental illness, substance use, trouble at school, and with law enforcement, I literally did not have the capacity for even beginning to know how to help.

My parents were way over their heads. They both had severe addiction in their families, and (again, I didn’t realize until much later,) my dad was abusing alcohol as well. My mom is an incredibly naive person who grew up horrendously sheltered and totally unprepared for these types of life challenges. She also doesn’t struggle with mental illness of any kind beyond a bit of anxiety, so this was all fully out of her realm of knowledge.

In our 20′s, I tried to reach out, to be as good an older sibling I could be. I did my best, but I mostly only saw them when they were in crisis. Multiple times I helped them detox at home, urged them to seek help, tried to connect them with resources. They were hardly responsive, and abusive, scary, and exhausting when using.

Things always came to a standstill because ultimately they feel totally powerless, and see themself as a victim of circumstance. There is a strong disconnect when it comes to being able to take any level of responsibility for their health, their life, or quite frankly anything.

Even when I tried to lead by example and share how helpful certain things like therapy and medication have been for me, that I know it’s hard but I’m here to help and it’s worth it to try to have an open mind. I think they weren’t ready to let go of the identity they formed in their mind of being persecuted.

Reconnecting

At the beginning of the pandemic, they got sober, I got sober, and we actually became best friends. I taught them so much, helped them realize things about life, about their identity, how to survive. They were actually able to be receptive to my friendship.

They practically lived with me for about 6 months. We even discussed trying to clear out space for them to move in.

I was SO happy, I felt like I had a real sibling for the first time, like how I thought the bond between siblings was supposed to be. I don't really have family (beyond chosen-family) besides my parents, and my grandma (who just passed away a few weeks ago.)

Then, one day, they decided it would be okay for them to do drugs and drink sometimes. I urged them not to, as they were less than a year into their sobriety. Things were still SO fragile. Instead of taking my advice, or flat out saying they disagree, they lied to me about it, and asked others to lie to me for them. 

Of course, our friends would not in fact lie to me for them. They didn’t realize this, and somehow had the ability to keep a straight face, look me in the eyes, and talk shit. This gave me chills. It makes me feel sick to think about.

Once this began, it called into question every conversation we'd had in the past year. I wondered if all the closeness we shared, and trust we had before had been genuine, or if they were putting on an act then, too.

It hurt so much, but I truly had no idea how bad it was about to get.

Catastrophe

After they started using again, all hell broke loose. They went full on self-destruct, practically overnight. They took every stride they had made in getting their life together, and threw it in the trash. They quit their job, spent all their savings, bailed on their apartment, and isolated all their friends.

My parents and I spent about six months with them at the center of our worlds. They became the only thing any of us were able to think about, focus on, or put energy into.

The three of us, plus my four closest friends (who had recently become their friends) dropped everything to do all we could to support them. We all severely overextended our abilities because we were so worried.

Their response to all our attempts at love, understanding, immeasurable patience, calm, kindness, loyalty, was to be horribly abusive, say the worst, most hurtful things, and honestly make me afraid for my safety. 

It all came to a head when they went to my parents house one day, and refused to leave. When I say refused to leave, I mean they destroyed part of the house, built a barricade to the ceiling, and stayed behind it for weeks.

My mom called me every day crying. We truly thought they were going to die. I was afraid for my parents safety, as my sibling was paranoid, and carrying a knife when leaving the barricade to go to the bathroom. My parents had to stay in a hotel because it was too much.

They were putting weird signs in the window, and I was so afraid a neighbor or passerby was going to call the cops and get my sibling killed killed.

I called every resource I could find in our area. I brought social workers to the house to try to talk to them, called hotlines and handed them the phone, sent them links to online support chats. But they were so manic, they could hardly hold a conversation.

They just screamed, yelled, sobbed, broke things, banged on and tore open the wall, blasted music. It was so overwhelming. We all felt helpless. Obviously they did, too.

Diversion

I realized the only way they were coming out of there was when they made themself sick enough to need medical care. They've had to be hospitalized for alcohol related emergencies before, and sure enough, that's what finally resolved this chapter.

They drank so much, they got violently ill. They called and asked me to drive them to the hospital. We all left work, rushed over, got them in the car, and bolted to the ER.

After dropping them off, I called the inpatient addiction treatment facility I’d been in contact throughout this, and just barely convinced them to try. They informed me they wouldn’t have an opening in the program for about a week, but if my sibling called, they could process the intake over the phone.

With that partially taken care of, I rushed to my parents house to begin cleaning up. As I said, the area they had been barricaded was fucked. When they finally came out that morning before going to the ER, they destroyed the barricade, throwing everything out into the surrounding part of the house.

Broken glass, furniture in pieces, cat litter and food everywhere (they kept their cat in the barricade with them,) piles of trash, and when I went to grab a broom and trashcan, I found the (tall kitchen) trash can full of their vomit.

It was so, so awful. It literally looked like our childhood home had been damaged by a storm. They wrote manic and paranoid rantings all over every inch of the walls with permanent marker. I just cried. I couldn’t look at it, didn’t want to know what kind of things they wrote.

Dissociation took over, and I powered through, separating things I knew they would need, and throwing everything else in garbage bags. I cleaned and cleaned, as fast as possible. It hurt me to deal with, but I couldn’t bare the thought of my parents having to do it.

My mom was a nervous wreck, and my dad, who rarely shows strong emotion beyond anger and irritability, had apparently had a severe panic attack the night before.

I felt it was my responsibility to take care of everyone until I collapsed with exhaustion.

The chaos after

Obviously, this whole experience left me severely burnt out. I had spent most of the last six months totally dissociated, feeling as though it was my role to be the strong and dependable one to my parents and sibling.

I had no idea what a toll it was taking on me.

A few weeks after all this, my health took a nosedive. I’ll save the details for another time, but to make a long story short, I ended up in the ER myself multiple times, in and out of the hospital, countless tests, on a slew of new medications, and a new routine of appointments I had to maintain for the foreseeable future.

After this point, my life as it was before ceased to exist. My entire experience became wholly focused on my health, and dealing with becoming more disabled than ever. I lost the ability to work, to do hobbies, to take care of any responsibilities outside of medical appointments.

This has been my life, from the end of 2021 to now. It’s become impossible to relate to others who aren’t disabled. Just trying to keep in touch and have conversation feels impossible. It’s almost laughable when I’d be asked something like “what are you doing this weekend?” because obviously I’m staying home and trying to survive, just like every other day. Existence becomes a blur. It’s like I’m living in a different world. And there’s so, so, so much grief.

Gaslighting

My sibling stayed in rehab for a month, and seemed to enjoy the experience.

They texted me a few times, talking about themself, their life, what they’re up to. They never asked how I’m doing. They gave one sentence of apology over text (after being prompted to by my mom,) then immediately asked me for a favor.

I just couldn’t. That’s all I can say. There’s nothing there. I’m empty. Totally drained. I’m gone.

I told them I’m happy for them, and gave neutral responses to everything else. They had no sense of reality as to how traumatic this was for everyone. How hurtful the things they said and did were. Just as it’s always been with them, they were ready to just brush it all under the rug as if everything was fine.

This is the exact same kind of gaslighting my abusive ex used to do to me. He was an alcoholic, too, and would get drunk, abuse me, then pretend like nothing happened the next day. It was infuriating, and made me feel totally off balance.I just cannot tolerate ever being treated like that again. That experience in itself fucked me up for four years. I was only less than two years into healing when all this last event with my sibling began. I just can’t deal with it.

I didn’t see them at all after taking them to the hospital, until my family gathered at my grandma’s deathbed a few weeks ago. I wasn’t worried about seeing them, as all I cared about was grandma. I didn’t have the mental space to care about anything else.

Regardless, their presence made me cringe anyway. They walked in, obviously intoxicated, talking about frivolous things about themself while my parents and I were crying and gathered around my unconscious grandma. I tried so hard not to react, but I was so scared they would ruin this moment. The rest of us had been there all day, and it was obvious she was at her final minutes. My sibling stayed briefly, then left the room to “go do something,” and this is when grandma passed.

It reminded me of when I was 20, and our childhood dog started having seizures that wouldn’t stop. I had to make the decision to put him down. My sibling didn’t even spend time with him in his last moments, or come to the animal hospital to say goodbye. I just don’t understand their apparent lack of ability to be there for anyone else.

Now

This morning, they texted me, and I was instantly filled with dread. A couple days ago, they asked if they could stop by as they were in the area. In that moment, I was working, and having mental health struggles of my own. Plus, I have always made it clear to anyone who knows me, I don’t do anything spontaneously. People “just dropping by” has been something I’ve been wildly uncomfortable with my entire life.

I didn’t respond. In my mind, not responding instantly is not only consistent with my communication style, but also how they communicate, too. It takes them days to respond to any texts or calls.

Yet, they apparently took offense to this. They sent accusations of how unfair I was being, how I never gave them a chance, that I was wrong for banning them from ever seeing my dogs again (I’ve never mentioned any rules regarding my dogs whatsoever, although I have had intrusive thoughts about them kidnapping them.)

I’m just so exhausted. I’ve had multiple nightmares about them recently, about them physically hurting and threatening me and my parents. Each time I’ve had one of these dreams, my mom calls me within hours of me waking up, crying because something just happened with my sibling.

I just can’t. It’s damaging my psyche, my body, my life. I’m so sad.

[dangerously-human]

So. . .

"I Hate My Autistic Son" - Know Your Meme

Came across this article while browsing KYM at six in the morning. Apparently this became a bit of an audio meme on tiktok for a while.

The quote comes from a reddit confession posted back in 2014; luckily they left a link so I was able to find it pretty quickly.

https://www.reddit.com/r/confession/comments/2ff4sx/i_hate_my_autistic_son/

If it's okay, I mean, if it doesn't make you too uncomfortable, can you please look at this? (You can just read the post & the first few replies, you don't need to go through the entire thread.) Please let it be known that I'm *not* bringing this to your attention to spread hate to anyone or start a fight. I just find this thing a bit interesting and would really like to hear an opinion on this perspective not only from a Christian, but from a Christian who actually has this condition and knows what it's like to live with it, as opposed to just being someone who has to live with someone who has it. (I really hope this makes my intentions more clear.)

Once again, it is completely up to you if want to talk about this. If the subject is too touchy for you then do not feel pressured to answer this ask, and.. sorry for bringing it up. You can just ignore it.

Putting a MASSIVE trigger warning for ableism on this post, pals.

I'm happy to talk about this, but I'm not sure what you're looking for, and it's difficult to ask or have a back-and-forth conversation about it because you asked on anon. (For what it's worth, I'm a little uncomfortable with people trying to have an intense conversation on anon.) The first thing I have to say in response is that a non-autistic child is not trapped in an autistic child; that's just not how it works, and while I guess I understand why that thought might be comforting to a family member, it's a lie anyway. What we know about autism so far is that it's mostly genetic, so your autistic child was autistic from the time they were conceived. Autism isn't something separate that "happens to" a person; it's an in-built part of who they are.

Now. There are some parts of autism that are disabling, and parts that suck for individual people. I would give up my sensory issues in a heartbeat. I know some people would like very much to not have the social communication difficulties they do. Some of these things are inherent traits of autism; some (most) are disabling because the world around us does not accommodate for or understand us well (the social model of disability). That said, it is fair for parents or siblings to struggle. They should have a space to process without judgment, but also have supportive people around then who can help them develop a more loving attitude toward their kid and develop coping strategies that work for their family. You can grieve your expectations while recognizing that's not the child you have, it's one you constructed in your imagination, and there's nothing wrong with them for not meeting those expectations. You are not owed a "healthy" or "easy" child (nor, in fact, are you owed a child at all, but that's a different post). Children are complete and individual people, every bit as much as adults. Our society has such a messed up, egocentric, product-oriented, convenience mindset about having children, and a huge part of that is the attempted divorce of sex from babies, but again, that's a rant for another post. If you are not willing to raise a disabled child, do not have a child - in that way, props to the one commenter - but vomit at the person talking about "adopt an older one who's proven functional," because EWW, but also anyone can become disabled at any time.

I know that some aspects of my disabilities will be gone when I have my heavenly body. But some probably will remain, because they're not all bad. If I'm guessing, I think I'll understand people better in heaven, but I'll still communicate differently than the majority; I'll happy stim but won't bite myself because I won't be so overwhelmingly anxious; and so on. The way I look at it, at least right now (my perspective may change over time), is that God made me autistic but he did not make me disabled (looking at disability in the social model sense). I have some more in-depth thoughts about the way he has used autism to highlight his power and spiritual gifting in my life, but I'm not sure I'm ready to share all of that in this context.

[vizthedatum]

I'm happier now, and I wouldn't go back, but I wish...

We were a family again. The happy family I really wanted. The marriage would have been a peaceful and nurturing one. You'd sindoor me every day, and we would really hold our vows.

We wouldn't have to live in fear.

Our community would help us. And you would let them.

Our family, our mom, and our siblings would help us. And you would let them.

We'd glance at each other from across the room, sober this time, looking up from our computers, and peace would fill our hearts.

You'd sleep next to me more consistently. Hold me when I wake up screaming.

I'll hold you when you can't breathe, maybe adjust your pillow.

We'd do things for each other, and it would flow so easily.

We'd take space from each other, to be with ourselves and the other people we love.

We'd celebrate each other's victories, quirks, and special things that make us who we are. We'd learn how to cook together more effectively.

~~~ We'd listen to the epidemiologist in the room when they make very good points about killing *all* the mice, albeit a pacifist, and taking risks by going outside unmasked from time to time because the vaccines work.

You wouldn't be passive-aggressive and resentful about my disabilities.

You wouldn't just want to be with me because YOU LIED AND MADE SO MANY LISTS WHEN WE STARTED DATING but you just wanted to be with me because I hyped you up and you liked having sex with me.

Or isn't that what you told me to my face? Or did I misunderstand because you info-dumped and warped my mind with so much conflicting emotional information and doubted my abilities while praising them... and my frustrating mind couldn't make sense of what you were saying?

You must have been so upset at me all the time, while I was shutting down, internally panicking, feeling my body tense and flare up.

I told you that sometimes I lost sight because of how stressed I was.

Maybe I was just "always in crisis" and you had enough of it. You saw me in pain, spiraling into madness, murdering my soul bit by bit... and you kept doing what you kept doing.

I was your number one supporter, and you made me out to be the villain in your story.

[hyperlexichypatia]

Family Burdens

 A point that's often overlooked in discourse about disabled people as "burdens" on their families is that, with a very few exceptions (all of which necessitate the consent of the family member), family members are not required to contribute, financially or otherwise, to the upkeep of their disabled adult relatives.

With the exception of parents/guardians of minor children, family members of patients aren't billed for patients' medical care. Patients are.

Nothing requires anyone to spend any money on their adult relatives, disabled or otherwise.

Nothing requires anyone to expend any effort on -- or even be in contact with -- their adult relatives, disabled or otherwise.

A common argument for killing disabled people is that our family members go broke paying for our medical care. But they don't have to. I don't mean "In a decent society, medical care would be free at point of use," although that's true too; I mean, literally, no one is forcing you to accept responsibility for your disabled relative's medical bills.

A common argument for incarcerating disabled people in nursing homes or other institutions is that disabled people's parents, siblings, or adult children shouldn't have to care for them.

That's true. They shouldn't.

And they don't.

Nothing requires family members of disabled people to be their relatives' caregiver or provider. Nothing stops family members of disabled people from cutting off their disabled relatives without a word, without a cent, without a by-your-leave.

Your disabled relative's existence does not impose any obligations on you, financial or otherwise. Your disabled relative's freedom to make their own choices does not cost you a cent or a minute of your time.

Now, this is the part where people say "Hey, I'm not a heartless monster! I'm not going to let Grandpa starve! Because no one else will help my disabled relative, of course I have to do it!"

This is true. Most people who aren't heartless and aren't completely estranged from their relatives do feel obligated to help family members in need, whether helping pay for medical or other expenses, or taking on the task of being an unpaid personal care attendant.

And that's a problem, and we need funding for services for disabled people so that they don't need to rely on their families, and families don't feel obligated to support their relatives.

However.

The responsibility, voluntarily undertaken, for helping a disabled relative, does not entitle anyone to override their relative's right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness based on how it affects their family members.

You have a right to withhold help from your disabled relatives. You do not have a right to use help you offer as a justification for killing or imprisoning them.

You do not have to pay your disabled relative's medical bills. You do not have a right to assume their medical debt, then kill them because the bills are piling up.

You do not have to act as your relative's caregiver. You do not have a right to volunteer as your relative's caregiver, then cite the difficulty of the task as a justification for imprisoning them in an institution.

Disabled people's right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness is absolute. You have the right to not help us, but you do not have the right to imprison us or kill us.

[lockejhaven]

Hello and Happy Blorbo Blursday!

Does one of your characters have siblings or is married?

Which of your characters would risk it all to save everyone?

What is one of your characters greatest desires?

Happy blorbo blursday!!

Maescia Virwen, Kalyso is the fifth child out of eight. She is asexual and is a reverance* to Dresden Elion-Myhre Luro.

Her greatest desire is to learn as much as she can, and help as many as she can. Maecy is a master artisan, meaning she can channel her energy into vessels of multiple materials. She focuses on metal; jewelry, armor, weapons, etc.

Her favorite things to work on are prosthetics and other disability aids. She tailors each aid to the person's individual needs and desires. So if someone wishes to support their disability, such as with mobility crystals (alatheian version of a wheelchair) or colostomy bags, she's glad to help. If they wish to "fix*" their disability, she'll do that too, such as building prosthetic wings or making earrings that will restore a person's hearing. It's completely up to the individual.

*reverance: a type of alatheian relationship, unlabeled. similar to our 'Queer Platonic Relationships' except it is known as the default. It simply means 'two or more people that care deeply for one another'. It can be platonic, romantic, sexual, or none of the former.

*"fix" : This is not intended to say disabilities must be fixed; instead, it is to represent disabled people of all experiences and backgrounds. Please let me know if there is anything I could tweak or learn about. I wish for my world to be accessible to all. Magic and energy are not a 'cure.'

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locket’s tags: @365runesofwriting @enchanted-lightning-aes @thepixiediaries @midnights-melodiverse @perasperaadastrawriting