#life is relentless. but so am i

[the-casbah-way]

i am so so fucking exhausted the urge to just stay in bed and sob is calling me but i must prevail because i have three days to work through a twenty five page bibliography and then write four thousand words on a topic i’ve never studied in my life let’s go

[scaryhaven]

trying so hard not to have full blown panic attack, im beyond devastated, i just keep saying in my head, oh god not again, it cant be true, but it is.

[tchaikovskaya]

🫠

[pineapplefulfillseveryneed]

The Revenge Of Two Hands One Mouth - O2 Academy Bristol (November 27, 2013) by Adam Gasson

[derpinette]

gatekeepers fear me the way i instantly advertise things as soon as i know i like them

[running-in-the-dark]

okay but seriously the way everyone always focuses on me finally getting a job as if that's the ultimate end goal of life and there's nothing else that matters at all is making me feel like. if I can't do that. what is left.

like it's.. not that unlikely that no matter how hard I try I'll never be able to work full time (or even part time, who knows at this point honestly), and it makes me feel like - okay so then I just need to stop existing I guess

[themarionette-theporcelaindoll]

im just, the scene in NBC Hannibal where Will tells Hannibal "you won't let me have anything that isn't you" parallel the scene of Guillermo telling Nandor "you can't let me have this one thing" toxic ships toxic ships something something

[academicdisasterfic]

to all my pals: be wary. if u keep being so kind & supportive i might just have to give u a lil forehead smooch. i would be VERY careful if i were u. danger is always lurking

[mccncutter]

.

[enbysiriusblack]

wait for it is the most emmary song ever.

[crisisevil]

it's crawling inside the couch cushions saturday

[just-spacetrash]

😈😇

[pepprs]

alt*rnative spr*ng br*ak day 1. i need to be on campus in 3.5 hours. i have packed nothing and have done no laundry. i have not prepared for any of the facilitation i need to do today. i am experiencing physical symptoms of anxiety and burnout ♥️

[metagalacticx]

.

[fair-dinkum-mechanic]

I’ve gone from being terrified that this allergic reaction is going to kill me to hoping that tonight it suffocates me in my sleep.

[pampinto]

I am starting a new job on Wednesday and I am absolutely terrified.

Its my first time working as Pam, and I'm really not sure what to expect (I came out midway through my 4 years at my last job, but kept it to myself due to the culture and some of the comments made by other staff members.

They have asked me to bring a photocard ID, and I applied to have my drivers licence changed to my name, however because my deed poll was signed by someone who lives at my address (not a relative) it was returned rejected. So now I am going to have to bring my deadname passport and a copy of my deed poll. I REALLY don't want to give out my deadname to anyone but now I am going to have to.

I have also only ever worked in uniform, and now I have to buy work clothes. I haven't bought clothes in years, I am physically anxious whenever I go into a clothes shop. Not only do I not know what I am looking for (what the fuck does "You can generally choose between business-formal, business-casual, and smart-casual attire" mean). My friend was supposed to go shopping with me on saturday but they cancelled bc the trains were all rail replacements.

I know I am going to be really clocky and gross (its been super hot recently here and its made me sweat profusely and I am breaking out so much).

I'm also in the process of changing my anti-depressants and currently I am in the process of cutting down what I am currently on. I haven't left my room in several days. I am constantly having suicidal thoughts.

My housemate said she was going to move out at the end of October, which I really need to happen bc living with her is driving me crazy and I only feel safe/ comfortable in rooms other than my own when she is not in. She needs to give 2 months notice and she hasn't and I am worried she is going to continue being here, my new job means I am going to be at home more and working from home which really isn't ideal with her about.

When I left my old job of 4 years, my boss didn't even say goodbye to me. I worked there throughout the entire pandemic when a team, formally of 5 was turned into a team of 1 (me). I worked while recovering from several assaults, the death of both my grandparents (I had to fight to get leave to go to the funeral), homelessness, depression, loosing a vast majority of my friends when I came out, England loosing the euros. and nothing, no thanks for working here, not even a good luck, fuck I would have settled for a "good ridence".