#people still caring about me even after i’ve been distant and weird means so much to me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

stargazeraldroth · 1 year

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You’re fine!!! Honestly I also don’t always remember everything I’ve said, it’s How Things Be sometimes- You’ll find no annoyance at repetitions or contradictions here! We’re having fun, not engaging in a life-or-death situation.

Anyways, yeah! I get that, and I do agree that he tends to end up just. WILDLY on one side or the other (my poor man just can’t exist as a chaotic neutral entity to some people, huh-), when in reality he’s firmly a neutral force who’s Seen Some Shit. Honestly, my only qualm with him being chaotic neutral is that some people make him a malicious chaotic neutral and he’s like. Very much not, you know? I dunno, his characterization is fascinating to me and I wish! That more people! Leaned into his actual character instead of making him something he isn’t!!! But ramblings aside, yeah, he’s very much a desensitized guy who wouldn’t be nearly as good at his job if he was as wholly good as people seem to think he should be.

(I could go on about this man forever but I’ll stop now-)

Oh no I definitely agree! He’s got major abandonment issues with anyone he cares about- The creators might be a more primal kind of fear (since without them, he’s just. A husk.), but it would definitely apply to his loved ones, too. People like his Dadsters, Cross, Dream and Blue, probably Error in a weird “rival who has existed for as long as I have” way… There’s definitely potential there for Dream and Blue to use it against him, the poor guy. And while I don’t see them intentionally making him blame himself (they want him to be happy! To be free!), them saying that they did this for him, because they care for him and what to “help him” would… Definitely fuck him up, I think. I could see him blaming himself for it all- For not catching them going down a slippery slope, yes, and for not being proactive enough, and for “causing” this, but I could also see him eventually coming to the conclusion that this happened because he, specifically, was their friend. If he’d just stayed distant, if he’d never interacted and formed friendships, if he hadn’t interfered, maybe this would’ve been avoided? Just. A total belief that he, specifically, ruined things.

Core angst!!! My poor child is suffering All The Time and the entire Multiverse just expects them to be Wise and Good, it’s so much pressure for a fucking- What, ten year old? They need to have a breakdown at some point, I think- Not just over this, but over all of the accumulated stress of every bad things they’ve witnessed (and, let’s be real, they deserve to have a breakdown and get out their emotions-). Dream and Blue writing them off might end badly for the two of them, though… Core is a highly stressed child, yes, but they’re a highly stressed child with omniscience and omnipresence, and I imagine that existing for so long has led them to be Very Attached (whether they show it or not) to other, equally eternal beings. They’re still a Frisk, after all- They’ve still got their own brand of Determination, and that willpower to help people- And eventually, I think they might be one of the biggest threats to the yanderes.

Cross (and XChara) are wildly versatile here, but I do love me some Oreo Bros, so I’ve got no issue with that route, haha. XChara is definitely a very bitter person in general (which, like, fair, they’ve gone through some shit), but even if they don’t particularly like Ink, I could see them being somewhat sympathetic (and probably very angry) on his behalf- If only because Dream and Blue’s desire for “the best” for Ink would probably hit. A Lot of sore spots in the way XGaster acted. They aren’t fond of Ink at all, really, but that doesn’t mean he deserves what’s happening to him.

Cross, meanwhile, has a lot of potential for some Realizations here, and, I think, the chance to rebuild his bond with Ink (artist buddies!). Ink has, by and large, done his best to help him, after all- Even spent lots of time with him, in his empty AU, despite his terror of blank white spaces. He didn’t leave Cross to rot, but he very much could have, and even when Cross was endangering the Multiverse, Ink still tried to have faith in him. That, combined with how much the situation probably reminds him of his own, could definitely prompt him to reach out and reconnect- And apologize, I think. Ink is probably in too much shock and emotional turmoil to respond, like you said, but it’s the thought that counts… Now that I think about it, do you think Cross would take up the mantle of “protecting” Ink (in a much healthier way) as a way to sort of atone for his part in all of this? Hell, maybe it becomes a sort of thing where he almost becomes a “co-Protector” with Ink, towards the end of all of this- He’s got a knack for codes, if I recall correctly, and Ink could do with some healthier help.

(This AU is giving a lot of potential for the Oreo Bros, I love them dearly-)

Oh, it’d definitely take more than one person to pull Ink out of the emotional spiral that’d form after all of that- Cross, Core, Error if he’s a good guy here, maybe even Fresh? And possibly a few others. Poor man’s gonna need a support system after all of this, to be honest.

Error, in my mind, is always very possessive of (A) his role as the Destroyer, and (B) his position as Ink’s rival and primary enemy. In a version where he’s at least semi-good, I definitely see that coming out in full swing- He’s Very Offended that other people managed to not only do so much damage, but that they did part of His Job. And, to make things worse, they fucked with His Rival. Glitchy has some potential here, I think.

Oooh, those two would definitely be tempted by Overwrite, if they got a hold of it- And since Ink has never exactly tried to stop the creators from being awful to him, I could easily see them rationalizing not asking for his input when using it. He doesn’t know what’s best for himself! He needs them to help him, to make sure he’s taken care of and happy and safe- He’ll thank them for this later, they’re sure… Or at least, that’s how I think they’re thoughts would go.

Oh boy, time to see how much I remember from the last time. I've been a bit busy with schoolwork and some other things, but I have a bit of time right now to get to my inbox. I'm actually taking a small break from my environmental notes to be on Tumblr.

I'm a bit guilty of making Ink lean one way or the other myself, but I swear I don't do it on purpose lol. I absolutely love reading it, though! I just can't seem to get it right myself. I think it's because I'm so sick of the blatant mischaracterization in how people make him solely malicious that I just like. Can't make him stray from good myself?? I dunno, could just be a bit of a personal bias. Maybe a bit of a niche thing. I also haven't tried to write him in more neutral scenarios very often, he's always kinda stuck with the other two Stars. Maybe I should try experimenting with that sometime. I think part of his desensitized attitude would be the fact that he... doesn't really have anyone to confide in? Like, a running thing between me and one of my friends is that Ink is in dire need of therapy but doesn't think he needs it because this whole time, he's been compartmentalizing what he's seen/experienced and has had to keep it to himself.

I once read a fanfic on AO3, forget what it's called, that used that idea! Ink being "forgotten" by Error, but Error was just pretending to see how he'd react. He didn't take it well lol. And you're right, Dream and Blue wouldn't intentionally make Ink believe that it's his fault, but it would end up just pushing him to that perspective. Another thing to consider could be Ink wondering if he ever said or did anything that made it seem like he was unhappy about being soulless. I think blaming himself would be the only way he'd be able to process it: he's not a yandere himself and he doesn't have the greatest understanding of emotions, let alone thought processes and other people's perspectives. He wouldn't be able to rationalize their thought processes and obsessions otherwise.

I thiiiiiink CORE is around 10? They're either 10 years old or younger, and that doesn't make it any better. And you know what I think? I think they've more than gone past their breaking point. I do think that the two underestimating CORE and writing them off would come back to bite them, and rightfully so. I think the fact that they're still a kid makes people instinctively underestimate them, and if Dream and Blue are especially confident in themselves for this, then they're more likely to underestimate their influence. I'm very fond of the idea that CORE is a key character in foiling their plot.

I absolutely love the idea of Cross being a healthier protector for Ink, if only for the time being. He doesn't view it in the same way Dream and Blue (probably) did, in which he HAS to protect Ink, but in a companion sort of way. I can see Cross proposing the idea of being an official co-protector, but I think it could be left ambiguous as to whether or not it actually happens. After all, Ink's co-protectors did kind of just betray him and threw the Multiverse into chaos, so he's not doing too well in the co-protector department. This man's getting screwed over left and right. Damn.

I- I'm sorry, I just- I love the image of CORE and Cross being the primary supports, while Error and Fresh are in the back. Error doesn't know how to comfort people to save his life (me too babygirl dw) and he's mostly being disturbed by Fresh, who doesn't really care about Ink... but he's still a valuable ally (or asset, if you will), so he'll do his part.

If you wanna go with an Error who is more in-line with how he acts in Underverse, then he's probably gonna throw a temper tantrum over someone else being such a thorn in Ink's side. HE'S supposed to be Ink's greatest rival! HE'S supposed to make Ink hurt! NOT! THESE! ANOMALIES! THEY'RE TAKING INK'S ATTENTION AWAY FROM HIM AND- *screaming turns into glitched screeching as the impersonation gets out of hand*

Okay, now with that being said, here's some angst fuel: hypothetically speaking, let's say Dream and Blue do use the OVERWRITE. What then? Since they're most likely using it on a whim and, despite seeing X-Gaster use it, haven't had any experience themselves... how might it go wrong?

#underverse au #dream sans #swap sans #blue sans #ink sans #platonic yandere dream sans #platonic yandere blue sans #anonymous asks

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bellysoupset · 11 months

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SOUP‼️‼️ RAHHH THIS FIC THO😭😭😭 i cannot explain to you how excited i was about this one AND GOSH IT WAS SO FREAKING AMAZING AS ALWAYSSSS 😩 you’re so freaking talented bro the POWER your writing and your OCs have over me is INSANE i think i’m hyperfixated on them bc i’ve been rereading so many of your old fics but i’ve also been daydreaming about your OCs like everyday when i walk to class djcvnfdvndfjvnsfjv sorry if thats weird gosh i just love them so much ahhhh <3333

wen’s parents are so awful ugh but also in such a particular way?? like the way they were just so emotionally distant and then managed to bombard poor vin w so many awkward questions while remaining kinda respectful? but they were also so passive aggressive the whole time?? like i started side eyeing them from the start when they were introducing themselves😤 but also this passive aggressiveness + the distant (too) formal vibes they gave off is so fitting given the backstory you gave for wendy a while ago!!! like it made so much sense!! OH and omg the AUDACITY to ask vince about immigration and then saying “legally?” like MA’AM???????? and AGH the way he kept trying to ignore how bad he was feeling and the way he kept trying to impress them and omfg how upset he was when he was in the bathroom like the TEARS goshhhh i can’t 😭 he was so miserable and omg THE TOWEL and then wen being so careful and respectful and SWEET like baby girl is so freaking PRECIOUS i love her sm 😭😭😭😭

and then vince bringing up the ED and wen just telling him everything 😩🫶🏽 even the attempt omfg SOB i wanna hug little wen and tell her she’s so loved and nothing’s wrong w her bc baby was HURTING 🥺 PLS AND THEN THE “you’re a football player, Vince, i was expecting to get hate crimed” SHE WAS SO REAL FOR THAT KANCJSJSJDJWJWB 💀 and AYEEE the end was ADORABLEEEEE

ALSO going back to the parents, i was SO curious as to how you were gonna approach her relationship with them!! like i didn’t know if you were gonna make her be super “submissive” i guess or more outspoken and i honestly LOVED the way you wrote her in this context‼️ like clearly quieter and less outspoken/goofy/bubbly than she normally is, but still very much herself. like it didn’t seem like she was letting the comments get to her too much? and the way she called her mom out whenever she asked that insane question!!!!! and not caring about her parent’s reactions/thoughts after what happened and literally just worried/concerned about vin!!! just focusing on calling the car and getting the fuck outta there!!!!! like YAS that’s my girl and ESPECIALLY given all her backstory i’m SO PROUD OF HER and her growth and how much healing she’s done to get to where she is now😭🫶🏽

THANKS FOR MAKING ME FEEL SO MANY FEELINGS WITH YOUR WRITING❤️‍🩹 you’re insanely talented and i will never stop saying it‼️🫶🏽

🦦

Otter, I can never answer to your comments except for just staring at them in awe. Please never change, these gotta be half the reason I write nowadays.

I know Wendy is your girl and I was sooo nervous about the backstory fic, so I'm happy all the emotional beats came through!

I like to imagine Wendy's parents don't see themselves as bad people and, worst of all, they really wouldn't come across as bad people on paper! Which made Wendy sound very "complaining just to complain" during her teen years, because what do you mean your parents suck?

I really enjoyed working through their mundane shade of being sucky people. And man, pooor Vince!! He's such a stronghold, I broke my own heart making him cry.

And LOL at the "hate crimed" comment, I had that line written since I decided I was gonna pair up Wendy/Vin. I think I wrote and rewrote a fic multiple times where she worried about him being a transphobe or not, but eventually I scrapped it all. Glad I could save the line! I imagine it took some prodding from Jonah, vouching for Vince, to actually get them together. Not that Jon will ever own up to it.

!! Finally, eternally happy to have you commenting on these fics, you caught up on all of Wendy's little tells, on how she's outgrown her parents and she's like "over them". I feel so blessed to have people so invested in these characters 😭

Have THE best day Otter!

#🦦 anon #lovely correspondence #with that i shall head to bed with a big smile on

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skylarmoon71 · 2 years

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Tadashi Hamada Fanfiction (Big Hiro 6) - Chapter 5

“Hey (Y/N).”

When you enter the lab that evening, you don’t expect to see Hiro there. You have a feeling this has to do with his recent arrest for another illegal bot fight.

Tadashi moves to your side with a grin.

“Finally convinced him to apply for SFIT.”

“You showed him the nerd lab?”

“Of course.” You giggle.

��I know you’re going to do great, Hiro. They would be stupid not to take you.”

“Thanks (Y/N).”

He dashes out before you can say more.

“He’s pretty eager to get working on his project.”

You can only imagine.

“(Y/N), I’ve been wondering about this for a while now.”

You pause.

“Before when you told me about your secret, you said something. Was I not the only person you told?”

The question brings unease. Tadashi sees it on your face.

“If you’re not comfortable you don’t have to tell me.” He suddenly feels like he’s intruding.

“It’s not my place to ask-”

“He was someone I had feelings for.”

You’ve told him too much to hide something so minor. Tadashi never once made you feel like you were different, or weird. He accepted you.

“I thought he felt the same, so I told him everything. At first he didn’t believe me. Then he saw and he knew. I couldn’t hide it. After that he just..he became distant. Two weeks after no word from him I found out that he moved away. He was so scared of me that he left. I never saw him again and he never contacted me. That was it.”

He assumed it wasn’t a fond memory, but that was worse than he thought. No wonder you’d reacted the way you did. If he’d been in your shoes, trusting anyone with such a secret would be nearly impossible.

“I don’t care what he thinks, or anyone else. I’m a guardian. As hard as it was for me to accept, I love what I am.”

There would always be an inkling of insecurity. You can never truly banish that. But you aren’t ashamed of what you are.

“I love what you are too.”

There’s a change in his voice. One that you notice just as quickly as he closes the distance between you two.

“A part of me has always had a little crush on you (Y/N).”

Your mouth falls open.

“That guy was an idiot to leave someone as special and amazing as you.” The rapid beats of your heart feel surreal. Or was that his heart. Right now your body can’t seem to tell the difference.

“B-But I’m not..I’m not human..” You feel like you have to repeat it.

“I noticed that.”

He’s wearing that smile. The one you’ve seen so many times.

“Tadashi I-”

He moves in, and when his palms rests on your cheek, you lose your breath. Those beautiful chocolate hues are trained directly on you.

“He’s my best friend..”

Your brain is still trying to comprehend what is going on.

Friends don’t look at you the way he is now.

“Before I found out about you I suppose I was still trying to work up the courage to say something. I didn’t think it was possible for me to love you any more than I already do. But it turns out you’ve been doing all I’ve ever wanted. You’re helping people. You helped me, Hiro. Not once have you ever asked for anything in return. You’re selfless and kind and when you changed into a wolf it was honestly the cutest wolf I’ve ever seen.” He laughs, and you do your best to hold back the tears that well in your eyes.

“I’d really like it if you’d be willing to go out with me. Even though I’m a nerd.” You laugh this time, and the tears spill. Tadashi wipes them away gently as you nod with the biggest smile.

“I-I’d like that too Hamada.”

The chuckle he lets out is like music to your ears.

“I guess that means you’re stuck with me then. “

You have absolutely no problem with that.

You both share a smile. It slowly changes when Tadashi’s eyes drop to your lips for a split second. His eyelids lower, and you gulp when he leans in closer. Instinctively your hand moves to his chest and he pauses when you press lightly, momentarily halting his advance.

“I-I’ve never…I..”

You have no experience in this field and it makes you terribly nervous.

“Is this your first kiss?”

You nod shyly.

Your last, almost relationship had never progressed this far. Safe to say Tadashi is the only guy that has gotten this close to you in this manner. Tadashi draws his hand back.

“We can go at whatever pace you’re comfortable with.”

His whispered reassurances are like another arrow to your heart. It makes you melt. He’s still smiling like a child that’s just been handed a bucket of candy. If you had to guess you’d say just the fact that you both have mutual feelings is more than enough for him. One thing you wonder is that maybe it wasn’t his parents that led you to Hiro, but them to you.

You grip his shirt before he can get too far away. He stops for a second, and you lean onto your toes, pressing a kiss to his lips. Tadashi’s eyes grow wide, and you keep yours shut tightly.

For a few fleeting seconds, you’re a bit tense. But gradually you relax. Tadashi’s eyes slid shut, and his hands gravitated to your hips, pulling you as close as physically possible. Your fingers reach up, unconsciously knocking the hat right off his head. You thread through his dark locks, and Tadashi lets out an appreciative sound as his lips slant against your own. Your mouth opens, and you're a bit surprised when he deepens the kiss.

“Tadashi..”

All you can think about right now is him. His scent, his sounds, his body. This feels like a very realistic dream. You hope, no pray that it’s real. When his tongue wraps around your own, you know it’s real. Your cheeks are flaming, and you grips his hair instinctively. You moan when he nibbles on your lower lip. Tadashi draws back, and you do what you can to catch your breath. Level your thoughts. He licks his lips.

“You taste like strawberries...” He murmurs.

Your blush is heated to the point that you think that you may pass out.

It’s possible that you’ve underestimated Tadashi Hamada.

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dracothedeatheatingcupcake-ao3 · 2 years

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Director's Commentary! ☆☆☆: Chapter 14 from "The Problem With Mondo" although I can be specific if you wish it

"Oh, shit, if it ain’t lil’ Mondo Fuckin’ Owada, goddamn. How the fuck is it goin’, kid? S’only been, what... a year, two, since ya last called?"

"Oh, yeah? Yer just ‘in Tokyo’ now? Like I don’t fuckin’ know that yer attendin’ that pretentious as fuck institute. Ya don’t call me since yer brother died, an’ all I fuckin’ get is ‘I’ve been busy,’ ‘fore ya go on with yer request. Well, if ya want me ta do whatever the fuck ya need done, yer gonna hafta give more detail than that, squirt. How the fuck did that even happen? Didn’t think Hope’s fuckin’ Peak would be the kind ta take in a biker. Ain’t like ya don’t deserve it, but damn, kid. Goin’ places, ain’t ya?"

"So, fucking... leave me the hell alone. I’m gonna fucking leave now and I- I don’t ever wanna see yer goddamn face again. Forget my number and never contact me again. You understand me?"

"I... shit. Fuckin’... shit. Still so fuckin’ stubborn, ain’t ya...? God... god fuckin’ dammit. Fine. Fine. Ya wanna live the rest a’ yer life with yer head in the goddamn sand, be my fuckin’ guest. Cut me out, don’t talk ta me ever again. Do whatever the fuck ya like. "

I care deeply for Daisuke and Mondo's relationship

Oooh, thank you!! Honestly I had forgotten I had reblogged this, so when I saw this ask when I was at my internship this morning I was like "..... HUH????"

😅😅😅

But! I do have a lot of commentary for that chapter, so this is a great one to do! And I'm glad you like their relationship!! I love it too, so I'm happy that other people do as well.

First, I'll do a general commentary, then do the specific ones you asked about. I'll do a read more here to prevent this from ruining someone's dash, ha.

What this ask is referring to:

Fanfic Writers: Director’s Cut

So, chapter 14. Originally, it had been a lot different when I came up with it than what I ended up writing. I actually remember that I had been at work when I came up with the idea for the chapter. I had been walking with the kids (I'm an elementary after school teacher) during their walking/running club during our weird COVID return year, and I had been thinking of what I wanted to write later when I got home. Originally, I had wanted Mondo to call in a favor from an old friend to get the helmet and wine all in one. The friend was going to be about his age, maybe Daiya's age, and I think I was going to have them be more like a lackey or something. Someone who wasn't super important to Mondo. They still were going to be all "dude that sounds like a date, wow." Mondo wasn't going to get angry or anything, though, more like "pssh, NO IT ISN'T, ugh."

However, when I got to writing it, I got the idea for the "old friend" to be an older biker. And then I thought it would be cool if it were like... an old mentor. And then I was like... but wait. What if it was an old mentor of DAIYA'S???? And then... Daisuke was born, ha. Also, random, but I hadn't meant for both Daiya and Daisuke to have Dai in their names, I just was looking at male Japanese names, and liked that one. It also means "great help," apparently, which may also have been part of why I named him that, but I don't quite remember.

The more I wrote Daisuke and Mondo together, the more I liked them, honestly. I began to really like the idea of Daiya having a mentor that Mondo was distant with, mostly due to guilt and wanting to prove himself. I kind of regretted not being able to have Daisuke in the story more, since it wouldn't have made much sense with the constraints I had with following TPWP. But I think it makes sense why Mondo wouldn't want to talk to Daisuke again after everything that happened. With how repressed Mondo was, he couldn't even think of seeing Daisuke again after everything he said. Even with where Mondo is now in the story, which him being more accepting of his feelings, the thought of talking to Daisuke would be unbearable to him.

Now! As much as I'd love to go on and on forever, I do need to stop or else this ask will be the length of TPWP and TPWM combined. So, here's the commentary on your sections.

"Oh, shit, if it ain’t lil’ Mondo Fuckin’ Owada, goddamn. How the fuck is it goin’, kid? S’only been, what... a year, two, since ya last called?"

"Oh, yeah? Yer just ‘in Tokyo’ now? Like I don’t fuckin’ know that yer attendin’ that pretentious as fuck institute. Ya don’t call me since yer brother died, an’ all I fuckin’ get is ‘I’ve been busy,’ ‘fore ya go on with yer request. Well, if ya want me ta do whatever the fuck ya need done, yer gonna hafta give more detail than that, squirt. How the fuck did that even happen? Didn’t think Hope’s fuckin’ Peak would be the kind ta take in a biker. Ain��t like ya don’t deserve it, but damn, kid. Goin’ places, ain’t ya?"

(I'm going to talk about the entire scene with Mondo and Daisuke here, since it will be easier than just the paragraphs you put, if that's okay.)

For this scene, I mostly wanted to get some exposition about Mondo and Daisuke's relationship out of the way, letting y'all know how Mondo knew this person he's calling, as well as explaining why the man was never mentioned before this scene. An estranged mentor figure seemed the best way to go. Also, fun fact: I kind of based Daisuke off of Bobby Singer, from Supernatural. I had written my SPN fic before writing TPWP, so I was familiar with writing Bobby.

When looking at the rest of that scene, I mostly wanted to show that Daisuke knew Mondo really well, and that he could tell pretty much immediately that Mondo at least really liked Taka, if not was in love with him. Daisuke always suspected Mondo was bi, and even suspected that of Daiya (since in this universe, I kind of figure that Daiya was also bi, but because of his hatred of his father, denied it as strongly as Mondo always did. Maybe even more so, since Daiya had to be the "big brother" and take care of his little bro), which I wanted to show in this scene without being too explicit.

Overall, I just... wanted to have Mondo and Daisuke to have a realistic relationship to one another. I wanted to show that Mondo has someone out there who knows him and who cares about him, even if Mondo is too damaged and guilt ridden to see it. I also wanted to set up for the next scene, which I'll talk about next.

"So, fucking... leave me the hell alone. I’m gonna fucking leave now and I- I don’t ever wanna see yer goddamn face again. Forget my number and never contact me again. You understand me?"

Now, THIS scene... so, the whole second scene with Mondo and Daisuke was where I wanted Mondo to hear from someone who knows him intimately that he is straight up in love with Taka. Rather than just hearing it from a newly acquired friend, like Leon, he's hearing it from someone who has known him since he was "a snot nosed little kid," which makes it more meaningful to Mondo.

This scene here, this is Mondo rejecting it. He doesn't want to hear what Daisuke has to say. He doesn't want to acknowledge his love for Taka, or hear from someone who knows him that what he's feeling isn't platonic, brotherly feelings. So, he reacts the only way he knows how, which is to push people away through any means possible. However, instead of getting blindingly angry, he grows cold and closed off. This is my way of showing that Mondo is truly upset by what Daisuke said. He's not responding with his usual anger, but a different, more potent and frigid anger. Anger mixed with fear, I suppose. I just... wanted to show how terrified Mondo was to love Taka. He wasn't just angry with Daisuke. He was terrified.

And Daisuke saw that. He realized in this moment just how repressed Mondo was, and in that paragraph, Daisuke was seeing just how dead set Mondo was on being miserable for the rest of his life. And it made him feel both angry on Mondo's behalf, but also resigned. You can't make anyone do anything or see things the way you see them, even people you love, and Daisuke was feeling that there. It's why I had him go on to say that Mondo shouldn't let Taka go easily, to hold on and never let go. He knew Mondo was stubborn as a bull and would likely never contact him again, so he didn't want him to leave without having someone-- anyone-- tell him how important Taka was for him.

Mostly, I wanted Mondo to hear from a source that knew him how important Taka was, and I wanted to show how violently Mondo reacted to hearing it. But not just violently; differently, too. It's not his usual anger. It's more. But then, later on, he still goes on that not-a-date date with Taka, he still holds him close and looks up at the stars. He still loves him, even with how terrified he is, since it's not something he can just ignore anymore. Even if he wants to reject Taka and his love, he physically can't. That's why he got the wine and not the whiskey. That's why he took Taka on the ride even despite his earlier terror. He loves him so much that he can't be away from him even when he's scared.

Overall, Daisuke's role was to open Mondo's eyes to his feelings, and for Mondo to force his eyes shut. I wanted y'all to know that MONDO KNOWS how he feels. He knows, he knows, he knows. But he doesn't want to know, and so he doesn't. If any of that makes any sense and isn't just pretentious babble 😅

So! I'm done, ha. Sorry for the avalanche of text, but I guess that's what you signed up for with that ask. Basically, I have a lot of thoughts and feelings about Daisuke and Mondo's relationship, and if I weren't so burnt out with everything going on, I would write a sequel with Daisuke in it. I had been starting a fic with Taka accidentally meeting Daisuke, based on an ask I got, but it's sadly on the indefinite backburner too. I really like the idea of Mondo having an older, mentor figure who was close to Daiya, though, and it makes me very happy to know other people liked that dynamic too. Thanks a lot for the ask, I really appreciated it!! :-D

#Ask answer #Long post #Personal post #TPWM #Daisuke and Mondo's complicated relationship hour

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satans-arse-crack · 1 year

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I know no one is gonna see this or even care but I really just need to rant somewhere that no one I’m close with is gonna possibly see, don’t know if any of this is gonna make sense it how long it’s going to be but oh well I don’t think there’s a character limit (clearly never posted on here before😭) this is also probably gonna look weird cause it’s on my phone but I don’t care. If anyone does happen to see or read this I apologise for the awful grammar and language I’m just not good a words and shite 😂

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I’m so fed up of being alone. I’m fed up of being the ugly friend. I’m fed up of being the weird friend. I’m fed up of feeling like an outcast with my own friends. I’m fed up of feeling so lonely.

I feel so alone constantly, I feel like I have no one to fall back on that I can truly trust, I have friends but none of them feel my closest bestest friends yk, I do have a best friend but even tho I trust her a lot I still don’t trust her with my full heart cause of stuff she’s done in the past. I have maybe 2 people I would class as “close” friends, I mean one is my best friend who I’ll call E and my other friend is someone I met through red dead but I don’t know a lot about him he’s a very private person. I have other friends but we’re not super close or not as close as me and E. And don’t get me wrong I love my other friends it just feels different if that makes sense. I have lost so many friends in the past 4-5 months due to so many different issues like them leaving school or us just falling out, I can probably count on MAYBE (very big maybe cause honestly I don’t know) both my hands how many good friends I currently have in and out of school and even then I don’t know if they would class me as a good friend or not

Even tho I have friends I still feel so lonely in this world, even with friends and family surrounding me that love me i still feel alone and it’s so strange cause you would think that having people surrounding me that love me would make me feel less alone but apparently not. (Keep suddenly crying my eyes out while writing this shit😭) I just want someone that I can have an almost deep emotional connection with, someone that doesn’t judge me, someone who I can just be my weird ass self around, someone who I can share the same interests with and yk get along with, someone who I don’t have to hide the things I like from or tone myself down for. In short I want a relationship or something real fucking close to it. Now my sense of love and relationships has been warped by this god forsaken app but I just want someone who loves and appreciates me for who I am. I always see shit of people who are so coupley and in love and it makes me sick and sad cause I want something like that. First ever and only relationship I’ve had was weird to say the least, we suddenly became friends and we’re really good friends for 6 months then he asked me out like the day before his birthday, we then dated for 6 months and honestly it was good, but by the last month or so he was hella distant and weird until one day after school the mf snapped me saying “muchos apologies but it think it’s best we break up” 💀💀 anyways like 1-2 weeks after he got back with his ex who he told me he had only dated to get rid of his feelings for me. So my standards and my whole relationship ideals are very low to say the least. I mean I can’t really expect to have somebody when I don’t put myself out there but I’m way to socially anxious for that shit, and with the way I look I have no chance of getting anyone 💀

I hate being the ugly friend AND weird friend, that shit sucks so much ass. I hate everything about myself, the way my hair never seems to look nice or sit the way I want it, I hate my around ass face that makes me look fat as well as my weird double chin, whenever I look down at my phone and open like Snapchat and the camera is facing me I’ve gotta see my double chin looking thing and it makes me feel sick, I hate that I have a weirdly long face that again makes me look super ugly, I hate that my teeth are so crooked and weird and I always forget they look like that so when I see photos of myself smiling I feel disgusted with myself that I look like that. All of those reasons are why I hate photos of videos being taken of me cause I genuinely look so fucking ugly in everything. And people always say like “oh no your look fine” “ oh your so pretty what are you on about” but I genuinely don’t know where they’re getting that idea from like it stumps me cause I look at myself and all is see is something horrendous.I wish I just naturally looked nice like all friends like they genuinely just seem to wake up and they look so nice whereas I look like I’ve been beaten to a pulp and not mended then thrown off a 100 story building. (I didn’t realise how long this whole rant has been but it’s not like people are gonna see or care about it anyways😂)

I hate feeling like an outcast with my own friends, so my kinda friend group in school consists of E,F and I. Now me and E have been close to best friends for about 5 years now, I’ve known F for about the same time but we’ve never been super close like we’ve had classes together over the years and we’ve been in the same friend group but I always found him kinda judgy especially with his other group of the like semi popular girls. Anyways whenever E and F start talking a lot and just kinda leave me out I feel like they don’t like me but then me and E have say the next class together and all of a sudden it’s like they didn’t just basically ignore me, it also makes me feel kinda outcasted when they start saying stuff or quoting things that I just don’t know or understand cause I like very different things to F whereas E likes stuff both F and I like. It’s most annoying I’m maths because sometimes they just start talking about stuff and don’t include me cause I’m doing my work or something then I try tune in but don’t understand what they’re saying or they don’t explain it to me, now I’m not a math wizz to whenever I get stuck on something and I try and ask E for help she usually gets kinda annoyed at me and like explain it in an annoyed ton, sometimes she does help out and is good about it but most the time she gets so pissy with me. But if F asks either of us for help and I try and explain it to him E usually talks over me to explain it to him and it’s so fucking annoying cause then I have to just stop talking and let her explain it to him. But see whenever she asks for help and I give it to her (quite nicely may I add) she’s all fine with it and accepts the help, but see when she asks what an answer is for a question and I say “oh I don’t know” she gets semi annoyed at me just cause I don’t have the answer straight away. Now don’t get me wrong we all help each-other out a lot of the time and get along but those events happen quite often. Me and E are still really close and always will be but so many things keep happening that just piss me off

Now it’s time for short sentence rants cause why not: school is shite, I hate my job sometimes, my friends piss me off sometimes, I’m so lonely, I hate myself, I hate the way I look and my personality, my parents royally piss me off alot, why does being unholy automatically make my life 10x worse, why do people have such high expectations of me, I never know what personality I should chose to interact with people, why do I have to be so socially anxious half the time, why am I so stupid I can’t do the most basic things especially in school, why can I never do anything right, why is it so hard to make friends,why does it feel like everyone hates me?.

Anyways I hope you enjoyed my Ted talk as it was a very long and strange one. I genuinely dont expect anything from this cause I’m gonna be honest I can’t remember if people even follow my account or not, highly doubt anyone is gonna care for this either but oh well, I really had to get a lot of this out even if I made my cry a million times while writing it 😭

Toodlepip my darlings 😘

(P.S ignore all bad grammar and spelling)

#mentally exhausted #i don’t give a fuck #no one cares #i love cheesecake #mental health

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allaboutabbott · 1 year

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march 3, 2023

there’s like a fog over everything it feels like for the past at least 24 hours. i don’t know i guess i’m just feeling like what’s the point? the energy in the air feels really stagnant and i feel like i’m searching for something. but its weird bc I’ve been doing all the things that make me happy; going to the gym, writing, reading and taking notes, eating fruit. my instinct is to just let it pass without trying too hard to find the why of it bc i know if i try to find the why the feeling will stick around longer. i can’t help but feel unsettled though.

it feels like a dream is cracking in front of my eyes. i don’t really know what to do about it. like, do i accept this dream as cracked and different than i hoped, or do i pivot and figure out what to do next? i feel like in the least i’m looking forward to having more down time on this next break, i really do want to start compiling my writing to be submitted and then hopefully submit it.

thinking about what to do next is a scary thought. i haven’t thought about that in a while, i honestly thought i would want to do this for longer than it feels like i’m going to want to. i might also just be tired, this might be the sleep schedule fucking me up.

maybe i need to do something totally new again. i feel like the tall ships would be a lot of fun, i feel like i could learn something there. and that seems like a more engaging sailing job than this. and also the rules would probably make sense then.

it feels like i’m lacking in connection on this boat rn, and maybe that means i need to get back in touch with myself. but the trouble is i feel like i have been doing that with my morning routine that had been serving me so well this week. but this funk settled over me yesterday evening and now it feels like its back. maybe i need to cry, like have a really good cry. i also don’t feel like I’ve laughed a lot in the past few days either.

the energy in general just feels kind of defeated, deflated. and this feels distinctly different than what i was feeling at starbucks when i could tell it was time to go, it still feels stagnant but the root of it feels different. i feel like the laughter is a big thing to touch on, i really don’t think I’ve heartily laughed in a while. i don’t think since I’ve been here. maybe i need to tire myself out enough that i get loopy.

i don’t know, it just feels like something is dangling in the air but i can’t see it and i can’t tell if i want to let it fall or fly.

i never felt like i was lacking connection on the last contract, and maybe I’ve pulled away from everything so that’s why its all feeling so distant. oh my god maybe that’s it. the whole experience on venture made me really question what am i doing here with these people? are these my kind of people? its like i’m distended inside a decision. do i want to engage with this life and continue to make it such a large part of my life? do i want to care about these people in the way that i have for so long? is it healthy for me to continue this way?

i think something i need to really remember is that people are fucked up everywhere. everybody has their things that they are ashamed of and these people are not particular to the boat.

i think something also that threw me off is the way things ended with evan. there really was no reason for him to lie to me, like at all. and i cared about him so much. i trusted him to be honest about the situation because i tried to give him every reason to be. i just don’t understand why he had to do that. it taints the whole thing it feels like. and i know that doesn’t have to be true, one ending does not determine the rest, but its hard to trust anyone again after that. because i can only control myself and my actions, and i know i’m in a really good place with all my shit. so also i don’t really know why things ended the way they did. what was i supposed to learn from all that? was it just a lesson for him? i’m tired of that, why do i get put through all these events and emotions just to not have a lesson at the end?

although actually i think a big big lesson is to not make myself small in relationships. because i definitely did that with evan a lot. he felt so big but didn’t know how to work through it so i definitely put myself on a back-burner for him. and that’s probably another sign that it wasn’t right, i need someone who is on my level fr fr.

i think also i might be touch deprived. feeling very much so like a hug could make me sob rn. damn i guess i’m just really not feeling a lot of outside love rn, the boat is so good for bringing out down to the bare minimum of what you need.

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songmingisthighs · 3 years

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[4.11] mafia!wooyoung × reader

⇀ you thought he didn't care, he was sure he doesn't, he had said it so himself to you. that was, until he almost lost the chance of being able to care for you.

⇁ tw : running away, mafia life (criminal/illegal acts)

⇁ part 1 / 2 / 3

⇁ disclaimer : the author does not support any and all criminal/illegal acts. the narrative written in this story is purely fiction out of the author's imagination. the things written here does not portray real mafia life nor is the author aware of how the mafia life is like. the author is a hermit loser.

At first, Wooyoung thought you had really ran away from him. After the fight you had the previous night, how could he not ?

"All I ask is a little bit of attention! I know you could spare some for me," you exclaimed, following after Wooyoung into the home office in his mansion. Yes, his, he never once said it was yours too so you treat it as such.

Wooyoung rolled his eyes at you, "and I ask you shut that big trap you called your mouth before I shut it for you, but we can't all get what we wanted now, can we ?" He spat.

You're used to his aggressive words, it used to hurt but now the pain just comes and goes. But you're at your wit's end, he was distant when you both were first forced into engagement but he was still polite so you thought that was just the shock, but now that you're married, things got worse.

"Wooyoung," you called, leaning both of your hands on his desk aa he sit on his office chair, "it's been 8 months since we got married," he glared at you when you said that, so you sighed and change your choice of words, "since we were force into marriage... But I've been trying so hard to make this less of a chore for both of us, I don't know what else I could do! You're not even bothering to hide the fact that you hate my guts to your very core even though it wasn't my fault that we got into this! Heck, you don't even bother to acknowledge that I exist!"

Wooyoung slammed his hands down on the table, standing face to face with you, "that's right," he chuckled darkly, "I don't even bother, you know why? Because you're nothing in my life, I never ask for you, I never wanted you, you're still here because your dad's business fell through with my dad and he used you as mean of escaping because that's all you are, princess," he leaned closer to your face and spoke through gritted teeth, "a worthless burden that people toss around,"

It would've been a lie if you said that his words doesn't affect you whatsoever. Because it does.

Maybe deep down that was one of your biggest fear and having someone confirmed that made you feel sick to your stomach. You recoiled from the table, as if having been struck across your face.

Though Wooyoung had a satisfied smirk on his face, "you should know I've been planning your assasination ever since you said 'I do', I would've made it look like an accident so that my dad wouldn't be up in my ass talking about losing his insurance of control over your dad, maybe I should move the schedule up so I can get rid of you quicker,"

You stared at him for a while, not knowing that he actually hated you that much. All this time you thought it was just petty reluctance of being tied to you, but this just brought things to a whole new level.

"No..." you choked out, trying to hold back tears, "I'll take care of it myself," and with that, you ran out of his office to pack all your belongings with tears streaming down your face.

And that was the last time Wooyoung had seen you. He had heard from one of his butlers that he had seen you running around the house retrieving your things where it supposedly was earlier, you looked frantic and you hadn't even taken a second to take a break.

"And did she got out of the house today?" Wooyoung asked from his position on the couch, loosening all of the buttons on his shirt. "No, master, not that any of us know of," said butler then leaned close to Wooyoung's ears, "the cctv has been cut off, her bodyguards are dismissed, no one has tended to her nor got close to her, and I personally see to it that all windows and doors are unlocked just as you had requested,"

Wooyoung couldn't believe that he's probably a free man now, that YOU had left him so that he wouldn't be in hot water with his father.

With a glass of whiskey in his hand, he decided to look around to see whether or not you had really left while telling his maid to prepare dinner for him.

True to what he expected, he made two laps around the mansion but not once did he find you. Not even in his office with a divorce paper, as dramatic as it sound.

He finally step into his shared bedroom with you to make his final confirmation.

At first he knocked on the door, not really knowing why he did that, but when no sound came from the room he simply opened the door and walked in. He hadn't returned the night before, spending half of his night in his home office before going out with San to a bar, not realizing that it was his guilt that drove him out to drink his memory away.

Looking around the room, he couldn't really tell whether or not you had ran away. The room looked like it had been slept in the night before, he could see the spot where you laid in comparison to his side that's perfectly neat.

When he stepped into the walk-in closet, he was quite surprised at the sheer contrast to the bedroom. Your clothes thrown haphazardly, it seems like you were urgently looking for things to pack, and the more he analyze the items on the floor, the more he realized that you hadn't taken anything that was bought with his money.

But that wasn't the thing that got his attention.

It was your wedding dress that had been taken out of its garment bag, across from it, an empty bottle of wine and a box of tissues with crumpled tissues surrounding it. It looked straight out of a movie.

He walked closer to the dress and trailed a hand down it.

He remembered seeing you wear it on your wedding day. He remembered being too pissed at his father to be able to fully appreciate how ethereal you looked. He remembered how when you looked at him, he could see the redness in your eyes, indicating that you had been crying.

But over all, he remembered how his heart skipped a beat when he saw you walking closer to him. Of course, he would never admit it outwardly.

His train of thought was broken when his butler knocked on his bedroom door, "master, dinner is served," he said.

Wooyoung cleared his throat and straighten out his posture, "yes, of course, I'll be there soon," he called out.

As the footsteps of his butler fade, he carefully zip your wedding dress back into its garment bag, making sure that the dress is stored perfectly.

After that, he went to the dining room to have his dinner.

Usually, you'd be seated in your seat, across from him at the other end of the table that seats 10 people. He'd have to admit that it feels weird not seeing you smile at him after a long day of working, but he forced himself to believe that it was a good kind of weird.

Strangely, as he eat his food he felt that it doesn't match his palate, that something feels off. So he called for his head butler and asked him about it.

"Did we change cooks? Why does today's dinner taste so bland?"

His butler seemed hesitant to answer him, looking at the head maid for a bit. The middle-aged woman stepped forward from her spot, bowing slightly to avoid Wooyoung's eyes, "we did not have any change in staffs, sir, it's just that the mistress used to prepare all of your meals and considering... the circumstances, she had not prepared anything for you," she said, not even bothering to hide her bitterness that he had drove you away.

Considerably, he was shocked that you had never brought the fact up to him. But as usual, he masked his true feelings and just nod at her, continuing with his meal even though he can't seem to enjoy it.

The shock didn't stop there, though.

Over the course of the first 5 days of you leaving him, he began noticing the things that indicate your presence in his house. Or used to indicate your presence.

He never knew that you were the one who always put flowers around the mansion. He noticed this when he passed by a vase of wilting aconite. It almost broke him when he see the maids cleared all flowers, leaving an empty vase that he now associate with your absence.

He never knew that you kept tabs on food he likes and dislikes. After 3 days, he gave up on eating the food his cook made for him, firing the poor man on the spot and resorting to take outs.

He never knew that you were the one who personally arrange his wardrobe. Usually, every morning he'd find his favorite shirts or favorite sets of clothes on the front, ready for him to pick out and wear. Now that you're not here, he had to spend extra time deciding what to wear.

And lastly, he was surprised at the fact that you had never made it to your hometown.

"What do you mean she's not with her parents?" He growled at his henchmen, making them visibly scared. "W-we tried looking for her, even asking around, but no one had seen her," he explained.

All Wooyoung wanted was to hear about how you're happier without him, how you've settled back to your life without him, how he'd be assured with the fact that you leaving him was the best thing that could ever happen to you two.

Feeling that he owed this for the sake of his own closure, he ordered everyone under him to find out your whereabouts.

The desperation suffocated him, he hated the feeling.

So he ran out of his office to his garden, going to the furthest side where it is practically abandoned so that he'd be all alone to calm his mind.

What he hadn't expect to see though, was several pieces of clothes on the ground. At first he just thought that the laundry might have flown away due to the wind, but when he inspected them closer, he recognized them as yours.

"Why would these be here?" He muttered to himself as he began picking up the scattered pieces of clothes one by one. When he picked up the last piece, he noticed your suitcase by the corner of the tall wall that surround his house for protection.

The sight that made his stomach drop was a rather huge hole that could fit a person.

Wooyoung's brain put 2 and 2 together and the only reasonable conclusion made him feel like blowing up.

You had been kidnapped.

#ateez #ateez scenarios #ateez scenario #ateez imagine #ateez imagines #wooyoung #jung wooyoung #ateez wooyoung #ateez au #ateez story #kpop scenario #kpop imagine #kpop imagines #ateez x reader #timestamp #ateez timestamp #kpop timestamps #smt timestamp

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xoxo-teddybear · 4 years

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He’s Lost - Bakugou Katsuki - Part 1

Bakugou x f!reader

Warnings - Angst, Physical Harm, Cursing, accused Cheating, Katsuki’s insecurities

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

A/N: This is my first writing piece but this has been stuck in my mind since v-day is coming up so I had to get it out. Plz enjoy!!

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Summary: Y/N is so busy around Valentine’s, her lack of attention towards her Pomeranian is causing him to freak out and do the worst of the worst

Love is in the air! The birds are singing, The breeze is blowing, the setting sun is shining, and the explosive teen is.....well, bruting.

Can you blame him though? Y/N’s been a little distant ever since February started. Even right now, instead of enjoying their time together in a quiet park, she’s staring down at her phone doing who knows what.

Why? Was he not good enough? Has she gotten tired of him? They’ve only been together for a little over a year. Is she talking to someon- no. Katsuki stopped himself from thinking like that. There’s no way his precious teddy bear would ever do that. Not only that, he was the best there is. Why would she even try to go?

“You dumbass. You’re missing this.” Bakugou sighed. “Huh? What? Missing what?” Y/N looked around looking for whatever “this” was until Bakugou grabbed her chin to force her to look him in the eyes. “THIS DUMBASS! US! You’re so focused on that dumb phone. Jeez, can’t a guy just get his girl’s attention.” Bakugou said dramatically.

It wasn’t that Y/N wasn’t giving him attention, it’s that it wasn’t the same. Yea she right there snuggled into his arm. And yea she was petting his hair just the way he liked. And YES, she was peppering his face with kisses from time to time. But it all felt off? Like only half her energy was put into the love and affection.

“Suki, aren’t u being a little dramatic. I’m right here with you baby. I’m sorry if I’ve been a little distracted. Come here dummy.” And as Y/N pulls Bakugou in for a tighter hug all he can do is release a “hmph” while falling into it...until her phone went (ding!) once again. And she went to check it. Once again.

Bakugou was getting tired so he got up and suggested they’d head back to UA. Y/N only got up and began to walk beside him, hand in hand, while still checking her phone time to time. And Bakugou was getting sick of it

*Wtf is she doing on that piece of junk? What could be so important she would half ass our entire evening together? .....Could she possibly be talking to someone else?............no.* Bakugou let those negative thoughts die down as they continued their journey back.

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A few days later

“COME ON!!” Bakugou screamed as he realeased a blast towards Kirishima. When Bakugou invited him to train, The red head initially thought it was to ...you know..TRAIN. But after some time, the blonde’s best friend began to see the bigger picture.

“Dude. What’s up with you man? We always go full on during training, but it’s not even like you’re trying to hit me. It feels like you’re just taking your anger out on me.” Kirishima said.

“Congrats on noticing shitty hair, I’m glad somebody’s noticing my damn mood.” Weirded out by his friend’s unusual openness, the red head continued to ask.

“So what’s up?”

“Nothing.”

“But you just-“

“NOPE!”

Bakugou exclaimed as he began to gather his stuff to leave the training area. “BAKUGOU!” Kiri shouted. “WHAT!” “.......it’s Y/N isn’t it?”

Upon hearing that, the blonde turned to look at his best friend with this sad puppy dog look. And man, if Katsuki had doggy ears, everyone would see how low they’d go. His best friend didn’t need to see it though, he could tell those ears would be 6 ft under if they were actually there bc there’s nothing hiding Katsuki’s vulnerability when it comes to Y/N. As the two best friends go to sit on the bleachers, Bakugou takes a deep breath before saying his thoughts.

“I think Y/N is cheating on me.”

“................HUH???!!!!”

Kirishima went from “caring and considerate” to “WHATDIDHESAYYY” in seconds. Y/N L/N?? Cheating?? Ok. Y/N was one fiesty girl, and she definitely had sass, power, attitude, and a little mischief, but she also had kindness, compassion, consideration, and honesty flowing though her. Not to mention extreme loyalty. There’s no way.

“Look man, with all due respect, I think you’ve finally lost it.” The red head laughed. “I’m being serious shitty hair.” The blonde stated. “She’s been so distracted lately. She’s always with me but it’s like her mind is also somewhere else. And not to mention that damn phone she’s always on now. She can’t go 30 minutes without checking it at least twice. And not only that, when she does leave to do whatever, she’s gone for hours at a time! What’s a guy supposed to think with all of that?! I mean it’d make sense if she wanted to leave. I get it, I can get loud, and yell, and I get angry a lot but.. she knows I never mean it, right? I call her a dumbass like i do everyone else...ugh but she isn’t just everyone else, she’s my girlfriend and she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.....SO WHY TF IS SHE CHEATIN-“ before the blonde could continue, his best friend cut him off.

“BAKUGOU” “WHAT??!!” “....talk to her.” Kirishima said. “What?” Bakugou asked. Kirishima continued. “Cheating is a real sensitive topic in a relationship. I don’t wanna give my opinion on something that could ruin something amazing. C’mon man, we both know Y/N isn’t like that but who am I to tell you what to do. I wanna help, I do, but I think it’s best if you go to her with all this. Honestly though, if you asked me, Y/N would be the last person I’d ever think of when it came to cheating on ANYTHING. Especially the guy she cares so much about.” And with that last sentence, Kirishima stood up from his spot and pat Bakugou on his shoulder before exiting.

With Bakugou left with nothing but his thoughts and Kirishima’s advice, he left and headed straight towards your room.

——————————————————————————

“Shut up!” You excitingly screamed though the phone. “You really found the last part?”

“Yup, it only took about 6 different stores across the entire city.” Shinsou sarcastically replied. “You owe me.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know and I appreciate it. Katsuki’s gonna love his gift!” You said.

With Valentine’s Day around the corner, you’ve been preparing only the best Valentine’s Day surprise for the best boyfriend in the world. You’ve been so busy planning your surprise that I guess you could say you haven’t been giving Katsuki the massive amount of attention he’s used to from you, but you can definitely say it’ll all be worth it when he sees one of his presents that you’ve been working on. A silencer for his gauntlet blasts that not only decreases the volume of his attacks, but also increases his attack power. You remember how Bakugou had vented about his attacks being too loud that they scare people, but when he tried to keep them quiet, the attack isn’t as powerful so saving can be quite difficult. He only spoke about it once, but you could see the look on his face whenever he was out using his quirk around civilians. So why not give him a device that’ll help with his loud little problem. Now were you a support class student who knew how to make support items? Hell no. But were you a loving girlfriend willing to give her man the best Valentine’s Day ever? Hell yeah.

The piece of gear would’ve been easier to make IF it weren’t for a pesky piece of the project getting destroyed by Shinsou after he made Denki electrocute himself while he was right next to your prototype on the table. So to make it up to you, Shinsou went all around town looking for the piece you needed to complete your support item for Katsuki. Finally, all pieces had come together.

“He better. That damn bastard doesn’t know how amazing his girlfriend is. Instead of ignoring his ass these past few weeks, you sent ME to get all this shit for you so you could keep your precious Pomeranian happy.” Shinsou said while rolling his baggy eyes.

As Bakugou approached the outside of your dorm room’s door, he heard your voice.

“You know, you’re so right. That Pomeranian is unaware of just exactly how amazing I am. I really could’ve left whenever but I stuck around.” You snorted. “Well I’m glad I had you with me through it all Shinsou.”

*Pomeranian? SHINSOU?!? Through IT ALL?!?!? YOU WERE WITH THAT PURPLE HAIRED, SLEEP DEPRIVED ASS MIND CONTROLLING FREAK?!?? AND YOU WERE WITH HIM THE ENTIRE TIME YOU’VE BEEN DATING BAKUGOU?!?*

Oh to say Katsuki was pissed was an understatement. He felt all these emotions hitting him all at once. Anger, Disgust, Pain, Betrayal. It all became too much for him before Katsuki ran away from your down with his bed down and silent tears hitting the floor. When he let himself fall to the floor in the privacy of his room he screamed into his hands. His first love, his first real relationship, his teddy bear betraying his love, loyalty, and trust for over an entire year. After hours of crying, Katsuki was able to pull himself into bed. He couldn’t even bring himself to shower even though he spent all that time in the gym with Kirishima. He just wanted to sleep to escape reality. As he looked at his phone, he saw 1 missed call from Y/N, and 1 text saying “Goodnight love💗💥!” Bakugou scoffed at the text. Figuring u must be texting Shinsou the same thing. As Bakugou placed his phone down, an evil thought came to mind. Ruin her.

Bakugou smirked to himself as he had this pyscho and sinister look on his face. He would ruin Y/N. They haven’t officially broken up yet, so he could hurt her just as she hurt him. And Bakugou wasn’t stupid or so he thought he’s aware Valentine’s is coming up, so why not break little Y/N L/N’s heart on a day dedicated to nothing but love and happiness. It’ll be the perfect revenge on a little satin like her. Bakugou finally turned on his side with an evil, satisfied smile, and fat tears in his eyes once more.

——————————————————————————

The next morning, Katsuki got up with a broken heart, but he figured if he wanted his plan to work, he had to fake this smile. Getting up, getting ready, and getting dressed was business as usual, but meeting up with Y/N in the morning was now off the schedule. Instead of going into her room to check on her like he usually does, he just went straight to breakfast and straight to class without speaking to anyone.

With Class 1-A seated and Mr.Aizawa at the head of the classroom, the students can finally start their first lesson of the day. Until, the door slid wide open. There stood an exhausted and quite frankly dishelved Y/N. “My apologies sensei. I was up late last night and overslept. Please forgive me.” Y/N said as she bowed her head in sorry. “Just take your seat L/N.” The tired eye teacher said.

As Y/N walked to her desk, she noticed Bakugou wouldn’t even glance her way. She was a little thrown off since it would be normal for him to at least give her a judgemental look for sleeping in, but no. Nothing.

Bakugou on the other hand was writhing in agony. Oh how he wanted to check on Y/N and make sure everything was fine, but that voice in the back of his head couldn’t help but tell him to ignore her since she’s a cheater. She may have been the girl he’s loved dearest, but she was also the one causing his heart to shatter.

After a few classes, Y/N tried to approach Bakugou several times, but each time he brushed her off. And when the bell finally rang for lunch, you can bet Katsuki was the first one out the door. Y/N followed him of course, in worry and concern.

“Babe! Baby! Katsuuu!!! KATSUKII!” Y/N whined for her boyfriend to at least look at her but once again. Nothing. Bakugou wanted to hug her and hold her tight but he couldn’t. Not after what she’s done. Right before Bakugou entered the cafeteria, Y/N pulled him aside and held onto his wrists.

“Baby? Hey, what’s up with you? I’ve been calling your name and trying to talk to you but you keep brushing me off. You also didn’t stop by this morning. Is something wrong, love?” Y/N was hoping for something. ANYTHING at this point. And it was like the gods heard her prayer because she definitely got....something. “My bad.” The blonde haired boy dryly replied. “....Oh, um, ok suki.” The poor girl just thought her dear boyfriend was having a bad day, so she just left it alone and let him go. But still, even on his worse days he would at least visit her in the mornings. As they sat down with the bakusquad, the entire table noticed how Bakugou sat up and moved across from Y/N after she chose to sit next to him like usual. The tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife, and Kirishima could already feel what had gone down. He at least knew his bro didn’t talk to his girl. Not manly at all.

——————————————————————————

Valentine’s Day

During lunch, Kirishima has finally decided to speak to Bakugou about this whole thing. He hasn’t been getting any updates since their time in the gym, so when it was just him and his best friend having lunch together, he went for it.

“Man what the hell is going on with you and Y/N? I’ve noticed you’ve been avoiding her like crazy,” Kirishima said while stuffing his face, nervous about the answer. “I was right all along.” The blonde sadly spoke. “She’s been cheating on me since the start of our entire relationship. And with that baggy eyed freak from 1-B.”

Kirishima couldnt believe what he was hearing. He almost choked on his food. Y/N was actually cheating. I guess people don’t know people as well as he thought. “.....wow...I’m sorry man.” The red haired friend said. He was at a lost for words and didn’t know what else to say. *sigh* “don’t be. It all goes down tonight.” Bakugou said with a sad smile. “What do you mean?” His friend asked. The blonde looked at him right in his red eyes. “I’m breaking her heart tonight, on the one day of the year dedicated to love.”

Meanwhile

Instead of going to lunch, Y/N spent her time finishing up Katsuki’s surprise in his room. Yeah, he’s been having a bad past few days so why not bring him a smile with these amazing gifts on the day of love. Although Y/N didn’t really feel the love today (due to Katsuki again being so distant and ignoring her “good morning blasty💥💗!” And “Happy Valentine’s Day my love♥️!” Texts) she was determined to make sure Katsuki knew just exactly how much she loved him. She was almost done setting up in his room. Rose petals on the bed, Candles everywhere, 4 different gifts including his new support item made by you, his favorite meal is going to be set here on his table, and you and him together spending every loving second with each other. Y/N didn’t realize that because of her setup, she missed the entire rest of the day. “Meh, so worth it when I see the look on Suki’s face.” Tonight is going to be perfect.....or so you thought.

You didn’t expect to find Katsuki in your room, sitting on the edge of you bed waiting for you with his head hanging low and his shoulders slumped.

*maybe he has a surprise for me....? Yea that has to be it!* Y/N happily thought as she closed the door.

“Suki!! Happy Valentine’s Day!” Y/N said with all the love in her heart as she ran and jumped on the boy for a hug. But Bakugou didn’t say anything. He didn’t move. He just glanced back up at her, giving her this cold stare. Y/N was too busy professing her undying love for her boyfriend to even notice his scary silence. “Suki I’m really glad it’s you who I have in my life,” the love sicken girl bashfully spoke while looking at the ground. “You make me so happy and I feel so blessed being able to spend my life with you in it. I really hope you know just how much I care and lov-“ Bakugou couldn’t listen to this bullshit anymore. He pushed Y/N off of him just before she could say those 3 words that would get him to break.

“Hey! Suki? Why would you do that?!” Y/N exclaimed while standing back up. “I hate you.” The blonde spoke coldly. As those words left his mouth, Y/N heart and world were falling apart. Her eyes went wide open and her jaw slightly dropped. As she was about to say something else, Katsuki cut her off with “I’m breaking up with your dumbass. Right here. Right now!” Bakugou yelled. Y/N was in shock. She felt hurt, pain, she was just feeling so broken.

As tears filled her eyes, she asked “w-why?” as she tried to reach out to him. “Why? WHY?!” Bakugou screamed as he stood up above her slapping her hand away. “THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN WHY, Y/N. YOU’RE A FUCKING CHEATER, THATS WHY!” The blonde yelled in her face. Y/N couldn’t believe it. He thought she was cheating? Why would she even do that? She already has the best person in the world for her so why? “DONT EVEN GIVE ME THAT “it didn’t mean anything, Suki!” BULLSHIT. I DONT GIVE A FUCK, CUZ YOU’VE BEEN CHEATING ON ME AND PLAYING ME FOR A DAMN FOOL THIS ENTIRE FUCKING TIME!” Bakugou went on as his voice began to crack while tears flowed down his porcelain face. “YOU LIED TO ME. I GAVE YOU MY ENTIRE BEING AND YOU FUCKING LIED. YOU DUMB FUCKING BITCH, I CANT BELIEVE I EVER LOVED A SORRY EXCUSE OF A PERSON LIKE YOU. I HATE YOU SO DAMN MUCH, I DONT EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT THE FUCK I SAW IN YOU!” Y/N’s heart hit the ground. No actually, it went 6 ft under because after all that he’s said, her heart is dead. Broken. In agony. “Suki I-“ “DONT FUCKING CALL ME THAT L/N.” Hearing him refer to her with her family name hit so hard. “KATSUKI PLEASE! I DIDNT DO ANYTHING I SWEA-“ as Y/N tried to reach out to him, he interrupted her again and pushed her hand away. “I SAID DONT CALL ME THAT!”

The blonde yelled, except this time....he didn’t only yell. The burning scent of smoke came into his nose and the loud explosion could be heard throughout the building. The product of what he just did came to him. He just attacked the love of his life. As much as Y/N hurt him, Katsuki still loved her with his everything. And the fact that he subconsciously attacked her broke him even more. Y/N’s screams of pain reached his ears, as he looked down and saw his precious teddy bear with a burned arm and fat tears on her face, crying in pain.

Bakugou ran down to her level to try and help her. “Y/N! Hey, hey teddy bear look I’m so-“ Y/N pushed him away before he could continue. “WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU BAKUGOU?!” Ouch. His family name felt like poison coming from your tongue. “Princess, I’m sorry I didn’t-“ “SHUT UP AND LET ME SPEAK FOR ONCE YOU FUCKING IDIOT!” Y/N screamed as she stood up to face him. “I DIDNT FUCKING CHEAT ON YOU. WHY THE HELL WOULD I DO THAT WHEN YOU’RE THE BEST DAMN THING THATS EVER HAPPENED TO ME?!..ah!” Y/N was cut off by the stinging of her wound, and Bakugou couldn’t do anything but stare. Y/N grabbed onto her wound before continuing. “I love you Bakugou. I wouldn’t even dream about doing wrong by you. I thought I was a good girlfriend or at least a good person-“ Bakugou quickly interrupted “No! Y/N you are, I just-“ “If I am then what the hell made you even think of me so lowly? What the hell did I do to make you question my loyalty? What the hell did I do that was worthy of you burning my fucking arm?!” Y/N cried out.

Silence fell upon the room. It felt like hours before anybody said anything. Both people had heavy tears in their face now. One crying because he realized he was an idiot and harmed the girl who did nothing wrong, and One crying because she did nothing wrong but ended up being a villain in her loved one’s life. Y/N broke the silence with a scoff.

“You know what Suki?” Y/N said looking him in the eyes. “Yes teddy bear?” Bakugou quickly replied with wide, desperate eyes upon hearing the loving nickname, thinking they would move on from this horrible incident. “Get the fuck out.” Y/N said in a low voice. Bakugou was shocked. He knew he fucked up horribly but after realizing the truth, he can’t leave you! He loves you too damn much for that! “What? Y/N please listen to me, I’m sor-“ “I DONT GIVE A FUCK! Leave..please.” The sad girl cried. Bakugou grabbed onto her shoulders begging her to not end this. “Y/N please! Please princess! I’m so fucking sorry! I’m an idiot, I know, and I definitely don’t deserve you but please I can’t lose you.” Bakugou said with tears falling down his face. “Please don’t do this to us. Please don’t do this to me, I’m BEGGING YOU.” “Bakugou-“ The sad boy cut you off, shaking his head, “ NO ITS SUKI. YOUR SUKI. YOUR KATSUKI.......please teddy bear I need you.......h-here let me help yo-”

You harshly pushed the boy off of you and as he tried to desperately go back to you, you used your quirk to keep him at bay. “Bakugou Katsuki. I’m leaving this room since you won’t, and I won’t come back until I know you’re out of my room.” Y/N began as she looked at him with cold, sad eyes. “From now on, you won’t have to worry about this bitch because I’ll stay out of your life, I swear. Don’t look at me, don’t touch me, DONT EVEN TALK TO ME. Just leave me alone....we’re done.” And with that Y/N ran out of her room, and out of the building, needing to get away from the place for a little bit. She could deal with her wound later. She just needed to get away. Bakugou just stood there in sadness and shock. As much as he wanted to run after you, he figured he’d give you a little breather. You guys could fix things in the morning...right?

Bakugou waited an hour in your room waiting for you, but you were right. You really weren’t coming back until he left your private area. So that’s what he did. With a heavy heart, he picked himself up and dragged his feet back to his dorm. He looked like a mess. He knew he did. Messy hair, red swollen eyes, dry lips. His entire body screamed heartbroken. When he open the door, instant regret and love hit him at once. His room was covered with rose petals and flowers, there were candles everywhere, heart shaped balloons all around, he had 4 different boxes of gifts, and two plates of extra spicy curry was set on his table, obviously cold now. What caught his eye was that one of the gift boxes had a note attached to it. With tears in his eyes, he read it.

Hey Suki! It’s Valentine’s Day! I love you to the moon and back and so much more. There’s no words that are able to describe the way I feel about you. You drive me insane in all the right ways and I love it! Lol. I hope you like your Valentine’s Day surprise. I’ve been working for weeks on it, so I’m sorry if I’ve been a little distracted. I know I’ve been kinda absent these past few days but I promise I’ll make it up to you love! Hopefully I can start with this gift that I’ve been working on. Enjoy your brand new grenade silencer! Made it myself just for you. There’s nothing else in the world like this. I love you Bakugou Katsuki!

(P.S. If Shinsou from 1-B gives you shit about it, it’s because I made him drag his ass everywhere to look for a missing part so I wouldn’t have to leave you so much)

XOXO, Your forever teddy bear <3

As he quickly opened the gift, he saw it. A silencer that would attach to his gauntlets to make the sound quieter and the blast even more powerful. It was incredible. You are incredible. He only ever mentioned the sound of his blasts once, and you listened and you fixed it.

Bakugou shook as tears began to fall onto the paper. He couldn’t believe it. Everything started coming together now. The reason you were so distracted was because you were setting this up for him. You were always on the phone because you were assembling pieces and ordering gifts for him. You weren’t cheating on him with Shinsou. You were making sure he could find something that you needed for him. Y/N L/N was truly the best girlfriend in the world. Scratch that, she is the best girlfriend in the world. No scratch that too, she’s just the best, period. And Bakugou’s idiotic self ruined everything for him. All because he couldn’t have a little faith in his teddy bear. As Katsuki cried and cried, he set everything aside.

He took the petals off his bed. He didn’t deserve it. He blew out the candles around his room. He didn’t deserve it. He popped the balloons, and ignored the food. He laid in bed with more tears than ever, and looked at the ceiling. He finally turned to his side to fall asleep, but not before grabbing the picture on his bedside nightstand. A picture of you and him. He remembers that picture oh so clearly. It was his birthday, and while he didn’t want to celebrate, you did everything in your power to make it the best one yet. And you did just that. Bakugou hugged that picture so tight, because he didn’t have you in his arms tonight. He didn’t think he would ever have you in his arms again. So Bakugou Katsuki continued to cry until he was asleep, escaping from the reality of him losing his love, his teddy bear, his princess, and his Y/N.

Bakugou Katsuki never lost, no. He’s always been ahead, always number one, always the best. He always won and achieved and nothing ever stopped him. Except this time, the only thing that stopped him and caused him to lose, was himself. He lost. He lost his everything. His world, his rock, his heart, his Y/N. He’s lost without her in his life, and at this point he thinks he’s lost at life. There was nothing that could fix him unless it was you coming back to him.

Bakugou Katsuki? He’s lost.

A/N: HOLY SHIT! That was my very first writing piece and it was just a Drabble of a thought I’ve been having. Sorry if it’s a little off and weird, I’m still new to writing but hopefully I’ll get better. This was NOT spell checked so my apologies for any mistakes. I hope you enjoyed reading this! Thx for the love!

#bakugou angst #bakugou oneshot #bakugou imagine #bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugo x reader #bakugou katsuki #my hero academia #my hero fanfic #my hero academy fanfiction #my hero x reader #bakugou x y/n #bhna bakugou #bakugo angst #bakugou fanfiction #bnha angst

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lonely-lost-soul · 3 years

Text

First Lady of the Court

Part 3: Ghostbur (C!Wilbur Soot x reader)

A worn journal was opened, the pages faded and yellowing, a pen was placed on the parchment and the owner began to write. The sun rose over the horizon, and the wind nipped at the writer's skin, but they didn’t feel it. They didn’t feel many of life's sensations anymore, sometimes he felt warmth but it was always fleeting. He titled the page:

"Things I Remember", by Ghostbur

-The smell of bread

- L'Manberg

- The Revolution

- Bullying Tommy (he's a child)

- Sparring with Techno as a kid

- The wind

- Being president

- People cheering for me

- Fundy growing up

- Niki

- (Y/N) becoming my first lady

- The van

- Tubbo building everything

- Phil protecting me

- Sally the salmon

- (Y/N) the new love of my life

- (Y/N) adoring Fundy and treating him as her own

- Philza stabbing me to death with a sword

- A large explosion

-(Y/N) crying for me, I don’t like when she’s sad

- The taste of salt

- Air in my lungs

- Winning the election

- A ravine

- Techno's armory

- Books

- Tunnels

- Arrows

- ./..

- I don't know

The ghost’s head snapped up to attention, up until a few months ago he was lost in a void of darkness. Pieces were coming back together for him, he was once Wilbur Soot the president of the country he fought and died for, but now he didn’t have a purpose. He wanted to find Fundy, Tommy and Phil let them know he was here and alright, well alright for a ghost. But most importantly he wanted to find (Y/N), her cries wouldn’t leave his head. It was bad, a bad, bad memory, he’d taken to holding pieces of blue to make him feel better, but even that didn’t help his mood.

Eventually, Wilbur had found Fundy, who wasn’t that thrilled to see him, much to his disappointment. When he found Tommy he was slightly more thrilled and Phil seemed to be relieved yet mournful, Wilbur didn’t understand why, he did a good thing. However he had yet to find her, Phil seemed to be the only one who knew but he was giving him nothing. He didn’t know why was it because you didn’t want to see him? The thought made him want to cover himself in blue and beg for forgiveness. He managed to find a brand new buddy in his mourning, a blue sheep he had dubbed Friend. You would love her, (Y/N) adored sheep she would love Friend, she could be a forgiveness gift. Yet, nobody would tell the ghost where you were no matter how much he begged and pleaded, he watched as his once-prosperous country got rebuilt. Tubbo was doing a fantastic job as president, everyone seemed happy and Ghostbur accepted that fact.

A few days ago, Ghostbur sensed something was wrong. Phil was acting weirdly distant and even though Tubbo was trying to dodge his questions, he couldn’t fathom what was going on, until he saw you. You had come in wearing Alivebur’s old jacket and Ghostbur immediately froze, your hair was slightly messy and you looked tired. You were still you, same gorgeous, beautiful you, if his heart was still beating it would’ve skipped a beat. The only difference he could find was that your eyes looked deader than his own, and he was a ghost, it made him ache terribly. He wanted to float towards you, to welcome you with open arms but for some reason, he hesitated. He watched as Phil made his way over to you, he wrapped you in a hug and you hugged him back, the two made some small talk before Phil rubbed the back of his neck. Your brow furrowed and he watched you blink in surprise, you looked over Phil’s shoulder and right through Wilbur. The ghost would’ve flushed if he had blood, instead he settled on fiddling with the cuffs of his sweater before holding up a hand in a wave. You stumbled back away from him looking over at Phil who gave a little nod, Wilbur watched you shake your head and his heart sunk. His father reached out to you and your face scrunched up, you were hissing at him, clearly pissed off. Phil whacked you on the back of his head and you glared at the older man, Wilbur felt a small nudge on his arm, it was Friend. He took a shaky breath and ran his fingers through her wool, at least she had his back, when he looked up again you were marching over to him.

God, you were hot when you were mad.

“(Y/n)! Darling! It’s good to see you-”

“You son of a bitch!” You spat at him, eyes suddenly blazing with life and fire, Ghostbur felt himself falter and shrink into himself. “You think you can just come back here after what you did to us! How you treated us, how you treated me!” Ghostbur’s face fell, he didn’t remember hurting you, he refused to remember that memory, but the way he clutched his blue said enough. “I loved you! I wanted to marry you!” You choked out suddenly deflating as tears began to well in your eyes, you cursed and covered your face with your sleeve. “I cannot believe I’m crying right now.”

“You need some blue?” Wilbur said in a soft, tender voice different than you last remembered. You looked out over your sleeve finally taking in his ghostly appearance, he was wearing his big, round glasses, eyes a soft grey. Blue seemed to be pooling in the edges almost like tears, he had a shaky smile on his features, the yellow sweater he wore was one you’ve never seen before, a large red gash sat on his chest. He watched you swallow thickly and take a step back from him, “I don’t remember what happened to make you hate me so dear.” His voice quivered and he heard you whimper, “But I am so sorry...you can call me Ghostbur, I want to be different from Alivebur. Though his love for you still lives in me.”

Ghostbur watched you let out a heart-wrenching sob as you fell to your knees in front of him. You were clutching the L’manburg pin on your lapel, knuckles white, hands shaking in petrification. He floated beside you and wrapped you up in his arms, the hug wasn’t unwelcome but it was cold, Wilbur knew you’d feel no warmth from it but he hoped it’d bring you some form of comfort.

“I missed you. So much,” You admitted with a sniff, and Ghostbur couldn’t help but smile sadly.

“I missed you too,” He ran a hand through your hair and you leaned into the apparition's ghostly touch. Ghostbur glanced up at Phil who had a tense smile on his face as he nodded slightly at the ghost, it read don’t hurt her again, and Wilbur nodded. “Where have you been? I’ve been looking all over for you, you need to meet Friend!” His eyes lit up a little as he looked around for his blue sheep, “You’ll love her!”

“I’ve been living with Fundy,” You answered his question and his brows furrowed, but Fundy had told him he had no idea where you lived. “We’ve been taking care of one another, just like I promised you we would,” You responded flatly, your voice had a flat affect and Wilbur shuffled uncomfortably in the air.

Where was your spark? Your lust for life and the good things? Was this his fault?

No. No, it couldn’t have been, he refused to accept that outcome.

Alivebur loved you just as much as Ghostbur did, he felt that love so deep in his being it was almost suffocating. So, he’d never hurt you, you don’t hurt the people you love and that’s a fact. So why were you so sad?

“That’s weird. Fundy said he couldn’t find you!” Ghostbur huffed, shaking his head at his son's actions, “My silly, little champion.”

“Ghostbur don’t call him that, he doesn’t like it.” You stated gruffly crossing your arms and his frown only deepened,

“What do you mean he doesn’t like it? Of course, he likes it, he loves it!”

“No Wil he doesn’t. Stop it.” You hissed and he flinched, your face fell a little and you turned away from him. You shoved your hands in the pockets of the jacket, “I need a smoke.” You muttered and his jaw dropped,

“That’s bad for you! You know that!”

“So what? It makes me fucking feel better. You’re not my Wilbur. Stop pretending you give a shit about me.”

“I do care! I love you!” He argued desperately, “I know I’m not him. I can never be him but that doesn’t mean I love you any less. His love transferred to me, please...give me a chance.” You looked at him up and down and he’s never felt more terrified in his entire existence, he needed your hope, he could fix you.

“You don’t understand how much he hurt me.” You whispered completely vulnerable, “he went crazy, blew up a nation, and left me alone.”

He. Meaning Alivebur, Ghostbur was glad he was distinguishing the difference between the both of them. He didn’t remember doing that to you, after all, Ghostbur didn’t do that to you.

“I’ll never leave you alone. I can promise you that, with my whole heart I swear it.” He took your hands within his own, he knew you could barely feel his touch. You closed your eyes for a minute before reopening them,

“I’ll give you one chance. One. So help me god, if you ruin that chance I will never speak to you again. That’s a promise.”

Ghostbur swallowed thickly, nerves prickling at his entire being, “I won’t waste that chance, my dear.” You gave a stern nod and rubbed the back of your neck with a tired sigh,

“So...Friend?”

Ghostbur’s entire demeanor changed as he introduced you to the blue sheep that had taken a rather strong liking to him. The sheep nuzzled at your chest sniffing at your clothing choice, you hesitated a little before running your fingers through her wool.

“She’s very soft.”

“I know right!” he chimed wrapping his arms tight around his sheepy buddy, he buried his face in her wool. Ghostbur saw a weary smile spread across your face which made him smile back at you in return.

Maybe this could still work out for the both of you.

Months went by and you had set up residence outside of New L’manburg, everyone understood why you couldn’t make a permanent home out of the new country after everything that occurred there. In between watching over an exiled Tommy, Ghostbur would come by and visit you, even though you hated to admit it the ghost of your former lover had won you over. He was just so innocent so unlike the man who blew up his own country, so much like the goofball you had originally fallen in love with, you were enraptured. When New L’manburg blew up you weren’t surprised, there was a dull ache in your heart when you heard the news from a sobbing Ghostbur but you couldn’t feel sympathy. What you did feel sympathy about though was Phil’s uncaring attitude towards Friend, it was the first time you heard Ghostbur get legitimately angry.

It scared you more than you wanted to admit.

Even so, you confronted your former lover; he didn’t like sadness and tried to push the feeling away. You tried to comfort him the best way you could but he insisted he was fine opting to take his blue and forget his sadness. That was another thing, his quote on quote blue, it never did sit right with you. Hurt, sadness, and pain are hard emotions to face but they create character and depth and ultimately shouldn’t just be forgotten so easily, after all, how will you ever learn from your mistakes if you don’t experience sadness. Ghostbur didn’t want to hear your reasoning and still took towards using the blue, you eventually gave up trying to convince him otherwise.

You were sitting outside on your porch, rocking on your porch swing a cup of cocoa in your hand. Ghostbur was sitting beside you, head on your shoulder humming a soft tune to himself,

“Darling?”

“Hm?”

“Can I kiss you?”

Ghostbur had asked so innocently it made your heart leap into your throat. Thoughts of Wilbur and his betrayal flashed across your mind, you wanted to scream and say no. That you’ll never let someone like that hurt you again, you were too strong, you opened your mouth but the hope in Ghostbur’s eyes made you close your mouth. This wasn’t the Wilbur you knew, this was Ghostbur, sure he was the ghost of Wilbur but they were so different. Ghostbur made you happy, he made you remember what it was like to be a good person, made you remember what it was like when you first met Wilbur. He made you smile and laugh, and he genuinely adored and cared for your happiness. You found yourself uttering a soft okay before your brain could comprehend your decision, the smile that lit up across Ghostbur’s face was illuminating. He floated over to you and cupped your cheeks, his pale hands were freezing, but it felt good against your scalding hot cheeks. Ghostbur’s eyes softened as he stroked your cheeks with his thumbs, he leaned forward and captured your lips in a soft kiss, the kiss was cold but not unpleasant. You felt him melt against you, and press desperately on to your lips, you couldn’t help but let out a little giggle you felt him pull away. He had the cutest pout on his pale lips,

“Don’t giggle at my kisses!” Ghostbur sounded so offended, you only laughed harder. “Stopppppppp,” he whined leaning against you dramatically.

“I’m sorry Ghostbur.” You covered your mouth with your hand, “You’re just too cute.”

You watched him freeze at your genuine compliment, a smile broke across his features,

“No, you’re cute!” Ghostbur cooed floating around you and wrapping his arms tight around your waist. You leaned into his touch with bright red cheeks,

“You’re a goofball,” You whispered softly, he nuzzled his face into your hair,

“I love you.” You froze in his arms and tensed up, reality crashing back onto all at once. Did you really kiss your dead lover's ghost? The lover who was a fucking asshole to you and blew up an entire country.

Not a girl boss moment.

“You don’t have to say it back,” Ghostbur was quick to add, “I know how hard this is for you. There’s no pressure with me my dear, I just want you to know how I feel.” He pressed the sweetest of kisses to the side of your head. Tears gathered in the corner of your eyes, not out of sadness, out of shock. You couldn’t believe Ghostbur was once Wilbur, the same man you yelled and screamed at you before his death, Ghostbur was wonderful. Ghostbur was kind and sweet, gentle and tender, one day you’d be ready to say you love him, just not yet, not when everything is so fresh.

“Thank you Ghostbur. You don’t know how much that means to me.”

“Anything for you my dear.”

Months turned into years and you had officially fallen in love with your clingy ghost and his blue sheep. You knew he loved you to absolute bits, there were many occasions where Phil and Technoblade came up to you and begged you to get Ghostbur to stop gushing about you. You only turned red and smiled fondly, they scoffed but ruffled your hair, overall both were happy to see you smiling again. You hadn’t kept up with the dramas of the SMP, all your information was from Ghostbur, which happened to be not all that reliable.

You loved him but he was so naive, Tommy and Tubbo had defeated Dream, taken two of his cannon lives, and locked him in Sam’s prison. When Ghostbur told you a smile overtook your features, finally the bastard was getting what he deserved.

Isolation.

Tommy was growing closer with Ghostbur again too, which you couldn’t help but be happy about, he too deserved to heal from the trauma Wilbur had inflicted. You trusted Tommy, even when everyone else didn’t you tried to have his back and showed you he cared in his own weird way. Which mostly meant not stealing your shit, which you weren’t complaining about, today, however, he seemed tense. You both were walking the Prime Path on your way back to your abode, Tommy was loud and rambling, but they were different from his usual ramblings.

“Tommy?”

“What is it, women? I’m in the middle of my heroic story!”

“Are you alright?” You glanced at him out of the corner of your eyes and saw him go rigid. He cleared his throat shaking away his nerves,

“Fuck you talking about? Of course, I’m okay bitch. Don’t interrupt me again!” He scoffed nose high in the air, you narrowed your eyes and he shrunk under your gaze. “I just…” He rubbed the back of his neck, you thought about his resurrection and assumed it had something to do with that, your gaze drifted to the white streaks littering his hair.

“Hey...it’s okay. Just know I’m here for you,” You assured with a smile. You reached up to squeeze his shoulder, he looked shocked at the affectionate gesture,

“Obviously I know that! Don’t assume things bitch!” Tommy shouted shaking off your hand, you shook your head with a smile and let Tommy continue his story. If the young boy wanted to tell you, he would on his own terms. That night Ghostbur had come home absolutely shaking with excitement,

“Tommy, Tubbo, and Ranboo said we’re going on an adventure tonight!” Ghostbur was absolutely glowing, you couldn’t help but smile faintly at his antics.

“Don’t have too much fun.” You chastised teasingly, ghostbur giggled in delight as you pressed a kiss to his cold skin. “Stay safe, don’t let them bully you too much.”

“They don’t bully me,” he huffed but he leaned in for another kiss. Ghostbur had discovered he loved your kisses, even though they were probably cold to you all he felt was warmth. If he was a hybrid like his son his tail would be wagging, and if he was alive he’d be bright red. “I love you (y/n), of course, I’ll stay safe. I promised you I’d never leave you remember?”

You flushed and nodded, “I remember. I’ll see you when you get home.”

“Until then my dear!” He took your hand within his own and kissed the tops of your knuckles. You flushed pink and he sent you a cheeky grin,

“Get out of here loverboy! Don’t keep the children waiting!” You shouted as he floated out the door with a giant wave,

“I’ll be sending you kisses!”

“Ghostbur oh my god, go already!” You giggled with a fond roll of your eyes, he laughed loudly and floated out the door.

You should’ve told him you loved him. It’s okay, there would always be tomorrow.

You were getting ready for bed when Tubbo called you over the walkie-talkie, he was frantically apologizing and pleading for you to come to the crater that was L’manburg. Tommy then stole the walkie talking and started shouting about Ghostbur and your heart sink into your chest. He didn’t make a whole lot of sense but you put on a coat over your pajamas and ran in the direction of the once-prosperous nation. When you got there Tubbo and Tommy were a mess, Ranboo was trying to calm them down and Friend looked uncomfortable.

Where was Ghostbur?

You opened your mouth to call out to the boys when a pair of arms snuck around your waist. They were warm and real, pale hands caressed your abdomen,

“Hi, darling. Did you miss me?” Warm lips handed on your neck, “I missed you.”

Wilbur was back.

~~~ @blossom-702 @mayempress @thatguythatsshy

388 notes · View notes

beardrabbles · 3 years

Text

invitation.

characters: GN!reader, claude, mentions of GN!byleth

warnings: none

word count: 2,814

notes: posted this on ao3 ages ago and totally forgot to post it here too :’) got into the fandom late, like alwaaaays! but i have an enormous claude / golden deer bias and wanted to write some fluff with him.

You forgot sometimes that this peaceful spot tucked between the trees wasn’t yours alone. You shared it with another from time to time, but it had been so long since the last time you both stepped foot in the clearing that it startled you to hear footfalls crunching at the grass behind you. Pushing yourself up halfway, eyes blinking blearily, you spotted the richly dressed prince with his hands planted on his hips.

“Napping without me?” Claude clicked his tongue, and you quickly replied with a roll of your eyes.

“I can’t nap here on my own?” You fell back again, letting the soft grass cushion you. A soft, content sigh escaped through your nose as the sweetest of breezes barely brushed your skin. It smelled of flowers and damp leaves, dense soil and a distant storm. There was no zing of hot iron or blood, and it was a relief.

“I thought it was our thing. . .”

You felt him sit beside you, taking up his usual position to your left. The tiniest flutter tickled the inside of your ribs, his nearness nearly making your head spin. “Before I came along, it was just your thing, remember?”

“Well, yeah, but I like it better this way.” Claude leaned back on his hands, eyes up towards the greying sky. It had taken fighting a war to bring back their usual glimmer, but it was there in full. Bright, hopeful, determined. Laying there, gazing up at the unsuspecting prince, it was almost as if you were looking at the man from five years ago — the cunning, clever and sometimes troublesome man that you had fallen head-over-heels for and had continued to painfully pine for.

“Me too.” You dared to smile, his gaze shifting to you. Adoring him hurt, but no amount of hurt would have you appreciating his presence any less.

Claude returned the smile, and the gesture sent your heart slamming against your chest. But just as quickly as it came, the smile faded. “I spoke to Byleth.”

You sat up in an instant, concern etched into your face. You were aware that he had gone to meet them, but he had failed to tell you why. You equally failed to push the subject, as it wasn’t your place to disrespect a man in his position. Curious as you might have been, you assumed it was best not to ask and only hope that he trusted you enough to confide in you later. Seemed you were right, though you acknowledged to yourself that it was a rare thing.

“How did it go?”

“They’re disappointed I won’t be here for the coronation. I can’t blame them. After everything we’ve been through together, I should be here for them. I want to hope they understands. They always have.” He exhaled sharply. “But, hey, I got to see them smile again! I think as long as they’re here, Fódlan will be in good hands. If they keeps smiling, if they keep breaking down the walls that were built up, I can go home and do my part there. I trust them.”

You shifted, feeling uncomfortable in your envy.

“So they’re not coming with you to Almyra?” You wondered. Claude shook his head.

“No, and I didn’t want to ask. Fódlan needs to be taken care of. It needs a parent that will hold its hand and lead it in the right direction. It’s gonna stumble around like an infant walking for the first time, but that’s why they’re the best person to lead. They’ll know what to say and do to help this little baby along.”

You screwed up your face and nudged him with your shoulder.

“You really like talking about babies.” You pointed out. Claude’s cheeks and the tips of his ears darkened a fraction, but he dismissed it with a hearty chuckle.

“I guess I do. I wonder why that is.” He trailed off, voice soft but nowhere near as confused as his words would have lead you to believe. You had long ago resigned yourself to never truly understanding him, so you shrugged. Trying to pick through his mind was like attempting a hedge maze without a map.

“Does that mean you’re going to be heading back soon?”

“I can’t stay for long. There’s so much I need to do if I’m going to see things through, but there’s something important I need to do here before I can go home.” There was sharpness to his eyes that you recognized and deeply adored. He was planning something, and you felt your curiosity rise again.

“What is it? Can I help?” You were always so quick to offer him aid. Usually, he gently denied it, stating time and time again that most of his schemes were for his mind alone. Things often worked out for the better that way. The fewer people that knew, the less chance they could commandeer the plan or ruin it. Yet you still asked just in case he needed you.

“Maybe. Before that, can I ask you something?”

You frowned. “Of course. You can ask me anything, you know that.”

“You’ve been saying that since we met. Is it really true?” Claude smirked and raised a single brow, only for you to shove him harmlessly.

“Why wouldn’t it be?” You eyed him for a moment, worry mounting. “Was that what you wanted to ask me?”

The prince shook his head, as if he were getting off track. “No. I wanted to know where you plan to go. What are your plans for the future?”

“Oh! Oh.” You frowned when the sudden realization that you had no plans slammed into you. “I don’t. . . know. I haven’t thought about it. I’ve been so busy supporting everyone else, doing what I can for them, that I don’t know what to do with myself. Everyone’s grown up. They’re all doing their own thing, starting their own lives. No one needs me anymore.”

“That’s not true.” Claude’s voice was firm in your ear, and his expression was set to match. You smiled meekly.

“I grew up with all of you, but it felt like my purpose was to help you all find yours. Not that I really think I’m capable of being that helpful, but I never took the time to think about myself. I was too worried about you all reaching your dreams that I didn’t have one. I don’t have one.” You amended the last part quickly because it was blatantly clear to you that you had no direction to go in.

“There has to be something you want.” Claude pushed. You laughed.

“At the risk of repeating myself, I want what you want. I want you to succeed.” You opened your mouth again, but were quick to clamp them shut when another thought arose. I want to be with you.

It was lovely to imagine, but you had lived with the fact that any future with him was left solely to your imagination. You met him as an heir, and you knew him now as a prince. The differences in your status was vast and hard to ignore. Claude had his mind set on making those differences unimportant, but you doubted that he could find room in his heart for you. He had a country to take care of and love, not to mention you two had been friends since the start of your time at the academy. Too much time had passed since then, and while your feelings had grown deeper and more troublesome, you were sure he had none to begin with. No, as students, he had been too preoccupied with tormenting you. Teasing, poking, taking up your time with nonsense and rarely giving you a moment to yourself.

Despite him being a brat at times, you loved him. And even if he didn’t reciprocate, you were grateful to have known him at all.

“So you’re not bound to Fódlan?” His voice shook you from your thoughts.

“What?”

“Do you have any obligations here in Fódlan?” His gaze was so intently set on you that it made you squirm, the feeling ten times worse since coming out of your own head.

“No, not that I can think of.” You couldn’t recall making any promises.

“Right, so you could leave.” Claude hummed thoughtfully and got to his feet. Once upright, he dusted the grass from his clothes and offered you a hand. Confused, you took it and let him pull you into standing.

“I guess I could, but where would I even go? I don’t know anyone outside of Fódlan.” You felt something subtle was being said, you couldn’t catch on. Some days, you could. You had learned him just as he had learned you, but he was always several steps ahead. You could read him, but only the pages he allowed you to see. In this case, the pages were written on, but only in bits and pieces.

Claude gave you a pointed stare and a gentle, encouraging squeeze to your hand. When you failed to understand, he raised both eyebrows and pointed to himself. No words were needed. His gestures and odd line of questioning were like a clarifying slap to the face. You reeled, giving him a wide-eyed stare while sputtering idiotically.

“Wh——”

“That took you while. I was starting to worry I’d have to spell it out for you.” Claude put on a convincing pout. “Unless this is your weird way of telling me you don’t want to come with me.”

“No!” You leaped too soon, your eagerness prompting a smirk on the prince’s face. You fell silent again, worried that saying anything more might reveal all of what you had been trying to hide for over five years. “I’m not saying that.”

“What are you saying?” He purred cunningly, hand still holding tightly to yours. You didn’t resist when he to eased you closer, your heart screaming in your chest. Cheeks red and breaths shallow, you could hardly think. This wasn’t happening. It couldn’t be happening.

I’m still napping, and this is just another stupid dream.

You swallowed hard and peered up at him. “I think I should be asking you that, Mr. Vague.”

“Ah-ah,” chided the cheeky man, “you’ll have to address me as Prince Vague now.”

You scoffed and gave him another shove. When your hand pressed to his shoulder, he trapped it there with his own. Even closer now, Claude lowered his head until your noses nearly touched. You sucked in a breath and found yourself unable to move away, attention trapped in his bright, beautiful eyes.

“You want to know what I’m asking you?” He lowered his voice, tone growing tender and warm. You nodded. “I’m asking if you’ll come home with me. I want you to meet my parents and my people, and I want them to meet you. I want them to love you as much as——”

He choked for a moment, a rare flicker of pure emotion startling him.

“As much as what?” You didn’t want to get your hopes up, but he was making it incredibly difficult not to.

Claude calmed himself with a shaky breath and tilted his chin down, lips barely ghosting the curve of your cheek. His eyes fluttered half closed, while a single lock of his dark hair tickled at your cheek. When you didn’t shy away, he spoke again in honeyed tones. “I want them to love you as much as I do.”

“You can’t mean that.” Your entire being felt numb with glee, but you couldn’t process his confession without a little doubt. He met your doubt with a chuckle, so you persisted. “Why me?”

“Why not you?” He nuzzled into your cheek, and you felt the compulsion to reach up and thread your fingers through his hair. You had done so many times before, letting the gentle touches calm him during his bad days, but there was new meaning behind it now. There was an honest love behind it as your dragged your fingers through the strands, pushing them back and away from his darling face.

“There were so many others. . .” So many people wanted his attention, his affection. You were but one in a thousand that longed for him.

“I didn’t care. I dreamed of many futures, and all of the best ones had you standing there beside me.” He muttered into you, the softest of kisses resting just under your eye.

“We argued so much.” You shuddered, warmth blooming in your cheeks.

“You kept me grounded. How can anyone expect to be a decent ruler if they’re always agreed with?” He countered. You huffed and tried to think of another argument.

“You used to tease me all the time.” You muttered.

“I’ll admit that was dumb of me, but it felt like the only way to get your attention.” His lips found the tip of your nose, and you couldn’t contain a snicker. “You looked so cute when you were embarrassed, especially when you wrinkled your nose. I couldn’t help it.”

“Why do I feel like you still can’t help it?” You tucked a lock of his hair behind his ear and let your fingers follow the path of his facial hair. He was putty in your hands, cheek pressing to your hand.

“It’s part of my charm.” Claude flashed his usual smile, then took a step back. The lack of closeness left you feeling a little colder, but the distance let you appreciate him fully. Tall, handsome, commanding. You were exceedingly proud of him, and you felt yourself falling for him all over again. But before you could think to speak, he started again. “You don’t have to answer me right away. I know this a lot to ask of you, so I want to give you the time you need. I’m leaving in two days. Meet me at the——”

You didn’t allow him to finish. Your heart was too full and on the verge of bursting, and it seemed silly to you that he didn’t know what your answer would be when he was so skilled at predicting you. Rather than let him wonder, you removed your hands from his and took his face between them. You gathered your courage, mustered with his help, and pulled him down for a soft but silencing kiss.

Claude wasn’t often rendered speechless, but he supposed he didn’t mind being put in his place if it meant your lips fitting against his as perfectly as they did. Unfortunately for him and the heat radiating throughout him, you didn’t let the kiss last long. He wanted to wrap you in his arms and crush you against his chest like he’d long to for years, but you parted from him too soon for his liking.

“Where are you going?” He took chase, but you placed your hand over his mouth. Claude stilled and arched a brow.

“I’ve had my answer for years, Claude. I’m with you in every possible way. But if I ask you a question, will you answer me honestly?” You uncovered his mouth, but his silence told you more than words would. “How long have you, uh. . .”

“Cared for you? Admired you? Wanted to kiss you the way you just kissed me?” Every question he posed in response to yours made your heart thud and your cheeks burn. “A long, long time.”

“Why didn’t you tell me before?”

“I was never given the chance.” He answered so surely that you wondered if he had those words prepared. You couldn’t pester him about it — too many things had gone horribly wrong during your time at the academy, and it didn’t make sense to plant seeds in dead soil. There would have been no guarantee that it would bloom and flourish, but with the land starting a slow recovery, you hoped that what you two started here would become lusher and more far-reaching than any forest in Fódlan.

“It’s alright.” You giggled giddily and granted him another kiss, this one to the corner of his lips. “We were given our chance, and you took it.”

“Does that mean you’re going home with me?” He asked.

“I told you——”

“I want to hear you say the words.” Claude softly pleaded. Weak for his doe eyes, you melted in his arms and relented.

“I’m going home with you, Claude. I want to meet your parents, and I want to get to know your people. And for as long as I’m there, for as long as you’ll have me, I want to get to know you better.”

A soft sigh tinged with relief escaped the man as his head came to rest on your shoulder. His grasp on you tightened, and you felt his heart beat against your chest.

“Thank you.”

You smiled and embraced him. “Don’t thank me. Just take me home. . .”

#claude von riegan x reader #fire emblem reader #fire emblem three houses #fe3h

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yesimwriting · 3 years

Text

The Promise of Rain, blurb 2

The Promise of Rain (part 2?? technically)

A/n I was not originally planning a second part for this but some people wanted it and this idea came to me and it works better with the context of ‘The Promise of Rain’ but it can technically be read as a stand alone :))

Anyways this might turn into a small series of kinda connected blurbs that are all kind of canon with each other but aren’t necessarily connected except for the reader’s background (the reader is a very sunshine-y person and knows Kaz bc she’s a runaway princess that he was hired to bring back home but she managed to convince him to let her work for him instead)

The night air had left me with a chill that made me want nothing more than to have my covers draped over me as I read. I’m normally more sociable after a job, especially after such a simple and safe ending, but a lot of tonight had left me wanting to be alone.

Well, not truly alone. The company of my books is always welcomed, but tonight I can’t seem to find much comfort within the pages. After almost every paragraph, I find myself distracted by gusts of wind and thoughts of the heavy, silver clouds that seem to make up tonight. A part of me longs for the rain. I know it’s ridiculous to expect rain each time I desire some sense of comfort, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want it. Especially when the sky so clearly implies it.

“This must be the fifth time I’ve come here and you’ve been reading.” Kaz’s sudden appearance is almost enough to shake away my lingering somberness.

I roll my eyes slightly, turning my attention back to the page in front of me. “That observation is just a testament to how often you come in here.”

His glare is half hearted, a look I’d find endearing if I was less annoyed. “Where else am I going to find a reminder that good people exist in Ketterdam?”

I think he may have a sixth sense that warns him when I’m treading the line between being annoyed and displeased. Everytime I find myself mad at him in a way that makes me want to avoid him instead of yell at him, Kaz makes some ridiculously heart-melting comment. He steps further into the room. I don’t miss the way he eyes my stretched out legs. Ever since the conversation we had after he woke up after an injury, we’ve fallen into the unmentioned habit of silently inviting the other to stay by moving to make room for them.

It had started the day after the conversation in which Kaz had admitted that he wanted me to stay with him. He had been sitting on the small couch while discussing the details of a job. Shortly after I walked in he made a point of shifting so that he was clearly on one side of the couch. I didn’t think much about sitting down, but Inej and Jesper exchanged a look.

Now, though, I keep my legs stretched out on the bed. He eyes my position on the bed, something grim crossing his features.

“It might rain tonight.”

He knows me so damn well. I hate it. “I hope so.”

I turn my head, analyzing the way the world seems to be on the cusp of something. I stare at the silver clouds until I feel something hard tap my leg. The tap is firm but not painful. I’m quick to look at Kaz as he lowers his cane. The mention of rain had been a distraction.

“You distracted me on purpose.”

“The first rule of the Barrel is to always be prepared.” There’s a slight uptilt to his lips, something I’ve learned to interpret as a sign of teasing.

How is he so easy to be around one second and so cold the next? I resist a smile. “I’ll take notes.”

Kaz ignores my passive aggressive tone. His focus seems to be on my legs that have still not moved to offer him a place next to me. “You wear your emotions too openly.” Great, he’s going to make us talk about it. “What reason could you possibly have to be mad at me?”

“I’m not mad at you.” It’s a partial truth.

His expression harshens. “Don’t lie.”

“I’m not thrilled with you, but I don’t think that’s the same as being mad.”

Kaz lets out a partial sigh. “No, they’re not the same.” Such an early concession feels like a trap. “With you, the first option is worse.” I don’t have anything to say to that. “Is this because of what I said to Jesper?”

My posture straightens on instinct. “He wants your validation more than he’d ever admit and I understand that expressing praise isn’t exactly something you do, but would it kill you to not actively insult him?”

“I didn’t say anything that was wrong. He thinks he’s a gambler but he’s just someone born for losses.” The look I give him must mean something to him, because Kaz is quick to tact on, “That doesn’t make him less valuable of an asset or less relatively dependable.”

I eye him cautiously, the slightest bit of vulnerability playing at his features. “Don’t look at me like that--and don’t tell me that. Jesper’s the one who could use the occasional reminder from you that you hold him to any regard with positive connotations.” His lips press together like he’s thinking about scolding me for scolding him. “It’s only because I know you care more about Jesper than you’d ever let on.”

“Jesper’s esteem can handle the blow.” The curtness of his voice is a blow in its own sense. “And he didn’t exactly deserve to be in my good graces after what he did tonight.”

My sigh is not weighted enough to match Kaz’s newfound fountain of emotion. “We were successful--”

“He left you.” I didn’t know Kaz’s voice was capable of such harshness. “I paired him with you, and he left you--and you almost didn’t make it.” I let the weight of his words take up all the available space in the room, keeping the silence that follows them until some of the heaviness has dissipated. “He could have cost me one of my best people.”

Oh. His harshness, his unwarranted coldness, had been a manifestation of his concern. For me. Guilt knots my stomach. Potential words that may offer Kaz some sort of support raise and die back down in my throat. Kaz turns towards the door.

“Kaz.” He pauses. There’s a long moment in which I think he won’t turn around, but finally, he does. I tuck my legs beneath me, forcing myself to sit up a little straighter. “I told Jesper to leave because I knew the job would have failed if he had been trapped in that room with me.” I drop my gaze towards the window. “I was right, the job was successful, and I got out in time so it was worth it.”

“You risked your safety?” The harsh facet of his being is making its return in full force.

“For the job,” I’m careful to keep my words factual, “It’s what we’re supposed to do.”

Kaz’s jaw locks. “When I said that keeping you near me would ruin you this is what I meant.”

Is it really this big of a deal? I made it out. “Kaz.”

“This wasn’t my best idea.” His words are leached of anything. “You’re going back home. Tomorrow I’ll arrange the voyage myse--”

“Kaz Brekker you may get to live your life doing anything you want but you don’t get to control mine.” My chin raises an inch, an instinctual act of subtle rebellion. “I am not going back there, even if I’m technically indebted to you because you didn’t return me to my father but that does not mean I’ll--”

“I’m not trying to control you.” His words are sharp, boarding on a yell. “A job like that one wasn’t worth you.”

From Kaz, I know those words are heavy. There’s a lot of things I could say to that. I could tell him that I wanted to do something for him. I could say that I appreciate him telling me that. I could even say that in his own way, Kaz giving Jesper a hard time because he left me, is kind of cute in a misguided way. The thing is I think all of these responses will make things worse.

“Kaz,” I keep my voice as steady as possible, “I’m fine, you’re fine, it all worked out.” Scratching the back of my arm, I exhale gently. “I’ll be more careful next time, I promise.”

I watch him carefully, there’s a slight slump to his shoulders as he exhales. Is the fight leaving him so easily? He walks further into the room. “You better.” He sits down in the space I provided for him slowly. “If you’re not you’ll have worse things to worry about than anything that can happen to you on a job.” He moves his cane forward easily, tapping my knee in a swift motion.

I roll my eyes at the mock threat. “They do say that there’s nothing to fear in the Barrel like the Dirtyhands.”

“Remember that.” Any edge in his voice is forced. I fight against a smile that seems to always want to break across my face whenever I think I see something resembling lightness in Kaz.

“I don’t think I could forget anything about you.”

He turns his head slightly. “You should.”

“Too bad.”

Kaz leans his back against the wall, untensing slightly. “I think you just like disagreeing with me.”

There’s no point in lying about it. “Only because when you argue with me you give me this really particular look.”

“A look?”

Adding insult to injury, I smile. “Sometimes you look like you’re too focused on being angry, like you’re compensating for something.”

Kaz lets out a bitter sigh. “Maybe if you were less of a puppy I wouldn’t have to--”

The laugh that escapes is most definitely a mistake. “Did you just call me a puppy?” I don’t give him a chance to reply, laughter taking over again. “I mean this in the least argumentative way possible--but you’re so weird sometimes.”

He rolls his eyes, tensing. “I’m leaving.”

I stifle the rest of my laughter. “No. I was--I was kidding!” I keep my eyes on Kaz, expecting some type of annoyed glare, but his expression is a lot more weighted than that. Odd. “Kaz?”

“You need to be more careful.” I understand Kaz’s pause as something he does before saying something outside of his nature. “I’m not asking you this as a Crow or a Dreg.”

On instinct, my posture straightens. “I promised and I meant it.”

“Sometimes I wish I could believe in Saints,” his voice has taken off a distant quality, almost fragile, “That way I could believe something existed to help what matters.”

Oh. “You never fail, even if I didn’t believe in Saints I’d believe in you.”

“You’re wasting your faith.” The sound of lightning cracking is almost enough to make me jump. The rain finally came.

I know I’ll never convince him that that’s not true. “I don’t think so, but that’s why it’s called faith.”

“I have faith in some things.” His expression is far off.

“Like what?”

Kaz’s eyes find the window. “People that find meaning in the rain.”

Something in my chest swells. “You’re like the rain.”

We sit there in silence, watching raindrops glide down the window. “What were you reading?”

The question has me dropping my gaze to the forgotten book on my lap. “I stole this book from the palace before I left. It was my mom’s favorite, she’s read it so much the spine’s completely cracked and the cover is practically falling off.”

“Hm…” He mumbles. “Read some, the books read in a palace must be worthwhile.”

A part of me wants to tell him that elitism has no place in literature, but his request leaves me frozen. I nod once, turning to the first page of the book. “It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife--”

“Your upbringing makes sense--”

“You can’t judge it off the first sentence,” he’s insufferable, “It’s setting up irony, and if you’re going to complain--”

He lets out a conceding sigh. “I’m listening, I’m not interrupting.”

I keep my eyes on him for a second longer than I should. “Okay.” Dropping my gaze back to the book, I adjust my grip on the worn paperback, “Good.”

And then I keep reading.

@theincredibledeadlyviper @grishaverse7 @lonelystarship @mentally-in-northern-italy @uhanddreag

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earnestly-endlessly · 3 years

Note

kind of an odd request — do you have fics where erik is grumpy with everyone else but a ray of sunshine with charles?

Hi anon, thank you for the ask. First and foremost, I'm so sorry for how long this took me but I've been searching for all the fics that come to mind that fit your request. Second, this is not an odd request because I love this trope so much. I mean, it's basically canon that he's grumpy with everyone except for his Charles, right? Anyway, I might add to this list later on, but I can't sit on this any longer and hope that you have found some fics that you enjoy!!

Fic Recs Where Erik is grumpy with everyone but a ray of sunshine with Charles

Twice as Blind – Darksknight

Summary: Erik is probably the biggest asshole on the face of the earth, and because of this, he'll probably die alone. Charles is a complete flirt and playboy and, probably, will never commit to anyone ever.

(The lesson here is that when you have two friends who are BOTH secretly seeing someone, well, it's probable that they're seeing each other.)

In the moonlight, on a joy ride – scarlettblush

Summary: Librarian AU. Charles is the young librarian and Erik is the college student who is completely besotted with him.

The Proper Care of Actors – Clear_Liqueur, Clocks, Etherei, afrocurl

Summary: Erik is an A-list action star who is notoriously difficult to work with, until the day he gets cast alongside Charles Xavier, rom-com darling who can charm the pants off movie audiences the world over and apparently even one Erik Lehnsherr. The paparazzi catch them out and about soon enough, and their real-life Hollywood movie romance becomes instant tabloid fodder.

Rumor Mill – ikeracity

Summary: Erik is the grumpiest, most foul tempered worker at Stark industries. His grumpiness is the stuff of legends.

So it's obviously the talk of the office when Erik is being made to go to the company party and he's bringing his husband. There's rumors flying round about how much of a masochist or equally antisocial bastard Erik's husband must be to put up with him. Others think he must be a meek mouse perhaps bullied by Erik.

What they weren't expecting was the confident, charming, adorable and unbelievably nice Charles that turns up on Erik's arm. What they certainly weren't expecting was how much Erik obviously adores his husband and how happy he is to let others see this.

Work/Life Balance – pocky_slash

Summary: Alex is pretty sure his weird, anti-social boss is a robot. Right up until the guy's adorable husband shows up. His adorable husband who happens to be a famous actor. His adorable husband who happens to be the very same famous actor who was the source of many of Alex's teenage fantasies.

Terrifying Domesticity – ishipitsobad

Summary: Erik is the most dangerous and notorious mafia boss around for miles, and yet the strangest things terrify him.

For example: his children, and his very pregnant mate.

Of kittens and teacups and love – Ren

Summary: Modern AU in which Charles and Erik are flatmates. Charles studies psychology and likes tea and chess and keeps bringing home stray kittens, and Erik lets him because he's maybe perhaps a little bit sort of in love with him.

Fools Rush In – LoveSupreme

Summary: Erik owns a cafe on the edge of campus and accidentally starts maybe-stalking a Biology Professor there.

Growing Pains – ikeracity

Summary: Twelve-year-old Erik Lehnsherr is an angry, closed-off foster kid with trust issues and a bad temper. Ten-year-old Charles Xavier is a lonely kid in boarding school who just wants a friend.

Logan pretends he doesn't think they're both fucking adorable.

Series

Home Together (The Finding Our Way Remix) – significantowl

Summary: Erik is not the sort of person other students strike up conversations with. His expression, his posture, every part of his manner say: Don’t talk to me. I don’t want to talk to you. But none of that stops the boy ahead of him in line with the collapsible white cane, and nothing can stop Erik from falling for him, like it or not.

Melted Ice Cream and Macaroni Art – pocky_slash

Summary: Everybody likes Charles. Nobody likes Erik. And that's really the source of Erik's doubts. Also, there's ice cream and a baby. Part of ‘the Daycare’ verse.

Walling in or Walling Out – stlkrchck

Summary: Erik stifles a sigh. Of course this is Mr. C. F. Xavier. Of course.

For the prompt: Charles and Raven are throwing a holiday party. Erik is the grumpy neighbor who is annoyed by how loud they are being. So he goes to complain, and Charles makes it up to him.

(Wise Men Say) Only Fools Rush In – wildelybroken

Summary: After reading a fic where Erik and Charles are super sluts, meet at what is presumably Raven and Emma's engagement party, and end up sleeping together, I made the following comment and just inspired myself.

"They start casually texting each other throughout the day, maybe while they’re bored or frustrated at work, and start out meeting up and sleeping together semi-frequently. And eventually they accidentally start dating without noticing it at first, not until Raven and Emma get them alone and are like “wtf you two super sluts are actually dating??” And at first they deny, but then they’re both like “holy shit, we are!” And they meet back at one of their places and they don’t have to say anything, they just look at each other and come together immediately, kissing passionately and ~making love~. In the middle of it they realise that’s what they’ve been doing for a long time now and they confess their love to each other and they live happily ever after because they deserve all the good in the world."

For Charles – Shigai

Summary: Tired of being told he has to find his 'heart', classical piano graduate Erik Lehnsherr decides to travel to Italy and drink from the famous Italian passion for music. While searching for it, he meets Charles Xavier, a graduate in Fine Arts who is basically travelling around the world perfectioning his technique, and who will turn his world upside down.

Together they will discover that, sometimes, what you thought you didn't need is what you needed the most.

Erik Hates People – Anonymous

Summary: Erik hates people- it's his rule, a way of living.

Sugar – humanitys_cutest

Summary: Erik glances at the clock for what feels like the tenth time in less than half the minutes. It feels like he's been in some meeting or other since the day started almost 10 hours ago, and he's had just about enough of listening to these pompous old men discuss what would be the best design for his building like they know anything about it. He tries as subtly as possible to massage his temples to assuage the building migraine, but he knows it's no use.

He just wants to go home.

Everyone Likes Charles – Rosawyn

Summary: '“Everyone who's met him likes him.” Cain's grin was even stupider than before. “Once you meet him, you'll see.”

It was almost like a challenge then. And damn. Erik hated saying no to a challenge.'

Still Going Strong – JackyJango

Summary: Speaking of forty-eight, Erik hates it. Hates it even more that others are aware of it. While he’s pragmatic enough to know and accept that aging is inexorable, the increase in number gives the people around him the freedom to pounce at him with questions, opinions and advice he'd fought to keep at bay all year.

Besides, Erik believes that youth is a state of mind, not a phase in one’s life.

You have a child’s mind in a man’s body, Charles constantly tells him.

But despite his age, Erik is healthy. He works out daily. His muscles are steel and he can dead-lift four hundred pounds. He can break bones without breaking a sweat. Most importantly, he can still carry Charles to the bedroom and fuck him senseless. And as long as Erik can do that, he’s perfectly happy.

All I know is pouring rain and everything has changed – hllfire

Summary: Charles meets Erik, the man he had heard about many times from his sister and some friends, on a rainy Sunday morning. The stories about Erik paint him as a distant and intimidating man, but Charles finds out that maybe the stories had been wrong.

How to Successfully Ruin Your Life – humanveil

Summary: Seventeen-year-old Charles Xavier accepts a job at his local café, expecting nothing more than a fun, new pastime. What he gets is a mysterious customer and a schoolboy crush.

Stolen – ishipitsobad

Summary: Erik is a miserable, grumpy, cantankerous bastard, and he has every fucking right to be. He drew the short end of the stick when he got the Underworld as his domain, and there isn't very much fun to be had in judging and governing dead souls who would rather be anywhere else but with Erik in the depths of Hell.

So when he meets Charles, brilliant and lovely Charles who is more popularly known amongst the mortals as Persephone, and feels the promise of something wonderful that could make his eternally doomed existence infinitely more bearable... you can bet all your drachmas Erik's not going to let Charles go any fucking time soon.

Erik Lehnsherr's Guide to Saving the Universe By Meeting Your Soul-Mate and Falling in Love in Less than 72 Hours – magneto, pangea

Summary:Army Pilot Erik Lehnsherr is just trying to enjoy his day off when a mostly naked person crashes through the roof of his car. Even more alarming, the strange falling naked person—who goes by Charles Xavier when he's not speaking an ancient dead language—brings tidings of the apparent potential end of the world, and begs Erik to help him put a stop to it.

Well. His mother has been nagging at him to go out and meet new people.

The Theory of Partnership Dynamics – Pangea

Summary: “Detective Lehnsherr, how wonderful to see you out on the job!” The fed in the front greets him as they draw nearer. He’s shorter than the other two by a full head, and he’s beaming at Lehnsherr as if completely undeterred by Lehnsherr’s paint-peeling scowl.

“What do the feds want?” Lehnsherr asks bluntly.

“You know I can’t tell you that,” the fed answers cheerfully. Then his gaze lands on Alex, and, impossibly, his grin gets even brighter. “Did you get a new partner?"

“No,” Lehnsherr says through his teeth while at the same time Alex says, “Yes.”

#fic recs #cherik fic recs #cherik #asks #earnestly answers #I'm sure there are waaaay more fics out there #might add more later

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miyagihawk · 4 years

Note

hi! i absolutely adore your account! if you’re taking requests right now, can i ask for something robby x reader that’s like angsty, but has a sweet ending? anything you feel like writing, i don’t have a specific plot in mind. thank you!!!

thank you for the request love <3

ill wait for you | robby keene x reader

warnings: just swearing :)

summary: robby’s in juvie after the school fight and he doesn’t answer your emails. (robby is your boyfriend, not sam’s)

word count: 1627

Hi Robby. How are you? I’m sorry, that’s probably a dumb question. I haven’t been able to reach you in a while, I assume you threw away your phone. I heard you stole a van too, huh? Nice. But now that you’re, you know, there, I hope you get to see this. Mr. LaRusso said I could email you and maybe even call if you’re up for it? Only if you want. Let me know.

I miss you. A lot. Look, what went down was not your fault. It was an accident. It could’ve easily been the other way around. I know how hard you can be on yourself and this whole situation is just so fucking shitty. But you’ll get out soon and I’ll be waiting for you.

I’m here, okay Robby? Forever. If you feel lonely, just think of us. Think of how it feels when we’re together and the rest of the world just goes away. We’ll have that soon, alright? You and me against the world, always.

I love you.

-Y/N

Hey Robby, it’s been a week since I sent my first email. I hope that you’ve read it, even if you don’t feel like answering. That’s fine and I understand.

School is weird now. They have these security guards at the entrance to check our bags like we’re at the airport. It’s not like they’ll find karate in there, so I don’t get the point.

I get lonely in Physics without you. There’s no one to keep me awake during Mr. Miller’s lectures. I think he misses you too by the way, you’re the smartest person in that class.

I have to go, but I love you and I think of you everyday. Hang in there.

- Y/N

Hey. How are you, Robby? I’ve gotta be honest, I’m losing hope that you’re even reading these. I mean, it’s been 10 emails and I would think that you’d at least reply by now?

I’m not mad though, I really don’t know what it’s like to be where you are now. We could call if that’s better? How about this: I’ll schedule for a call tomorrow at 3 and you can pick up if you want.

Miss you,

-Y/N

Hello Robby. I want you to know that it’s okay you didn’t want to call. Or that you don’t want to talk.

I love you.

-Y/N

3 months. 30 emails. Deafening silence. After 3 months and 30 emails, you gave up. You figured that there’s no use if he wasn’t answering and that he probably wasn’t even reading what you wrote.

For a while, you’ve been stuck between moving on and waiting for Robby. He practically ghosted you and you don’t know if it means you’ve broken up.

But you also want to be there for him. He has no one, really. And giving up on him would just make you another person who’s disappointed him. It would be shitty of you to leave when he needs you most.

The inner conflict haunts you for the following months, and you decide that you’d just wait until Robby gets out to see what happens.

That day comes sooner than you thought, and the truth you’ve been avoiding is coming at you like a train at full speed.

Mr. LaRusso is the one who lets you know that Robby is out. The car salesman sensei was fond of you, since you hung around the dojo frequently to walk home with Robby after training. He tells you that he doesn’t know where Robby is staying, but that he’ll update you if he hears anything.

The anticipation torments you knowing that you could see him any second, or even maybe never again. The next few days keep you on edge, and you drown yourself in schoolwork as a distraction from the constant turning in your stomach. But still your mind swarms with anxiety about what you’ll say when you see him. If you see him.

It’s been a week after Robby’s release, and you’re walking home from school. You have to pass the Cobra Kai dojo on the way, which always makes your palms sweat. As usual, you put your hood up and keep your eyes ahead.

You take a quick glance at the dojo, then freeze in your tracks. Chills trail up your spine when you meet a pair of emerald eyes. The eyes you love.

For a few seconds you’re both stuck with stares locked on each other, waiting for the other to make the next move. But you’re unprepared. You thought you would have more time to get ready to see him, but the truth is no amount of time would be enough.

Robby’s hair is much shorter and he exudes an aura of exhaustion and pain. He’s different and you can see it even from the good amount of distance between you two.

“Y/N,” he interrupts the silence, and you snap out of the shocked trance you were in.

“Robby,” you echo back with a dry throat. He hesitantly walks towards you with careful steps and with every inch forward, your heart pounds faster.

It almost doesn’t feel real. You haven’t seen his face in only months, but it’s felt like years. And you don’t know how to feel or react. Should you cry? Or smile, or hug him or kiss him or yell at him? All of the conversations you’ve played out in your head to prepare for this moment... you can’t even remember them.

Once he’s in front of you, there’s another awkward minute of quiet and he doesn’t seem to know what to say either. There’s a thick tension in the air, neither of you wanting to address what happened.

“I like your hair,” you break the ice.

“Thanks,” Robby offers a small smile, scratching the back of his neck.

“So... Cobra Kai?” you gesture to the dojo he was just standing in front of. You try your best to not sound judgmental; you feel like you have to be careful with your words as if he’s a stranger.

“I have nowhere to go,” he says dryly, not meeting your gaze.

“You know that’s not true. Mr. LaRusso cares a lot about you. Your dad cares,” you say. Robby flinches at the mention of the two men and you know you’ve struck a nerve.

“They don’t give a shit about me, Y/N. Mr. LaRusso’s the one who put me in that place. And Johnny hates me because I’ve broken his precious new son,” he scoffs and you can hear the hurt in his voice.

“That’s not true. Mr. LaRusso did what was best for you. Do you really wanna be on the run your whole life?” you question, almost scolding him like you’re his mother.

Robby shakes his head. “You don’t know what it was like in there.”

“Yes Robby, I don’t know, because you never answered any of my emails or calls,” you snap, getting frustrated. But immediately you feel guilty. “I’m sorry. I- I was just really worried about you, okay?”

There’s a pause and Robby frowns. “Y/N... I wanted to answer. At one point those emails were the only thing that kept me going. But I wanted you to move on. From me.”

“W-What are you talking about?” you furrow your eyebrows in confusion.

“How was I supposed to let you wait for me all of those months? It’s not right. You deserve the world, Y/N. You’re too good to wait for someone to get out of juvie,” he explains. You search his green eyes and they’re sincere.

You hate it, but you understand. It’s the most Robby thing that could ever be done. Selfless and sacrificing for other people’s happiness, even if it means that he’ll suffer. But he also gave up on you. He took a route to leave you behind, even when he vowed to stay with you forever. You start feeling emotional; the long awaited truth is a lot to take in.

“That isn’t fair. You don’t get to decide for me what I’m “too good for” and just cut me off. You hurt me more than you spared me pain. You broke every promise you made to me,” you pour your heart out.

He thinks for a moment. “I-I’m sorry, I thought it was right. I didn’t want to be selfish and make you put your life on pause for me,” Robby says, his eyes turning glassy like yours.

You don’t even think about it before you get closer to wrap your arms around him. He freezes in momentary surprise, then recovers and embraces you.

Tears trickle down your cheeks before you can stop them, leaving stains on his shirt where you lay your head. His scent, his warmth, his hold on you; it’s all overwhelming and you missed everything about it. You miss him.

“I love you Robby. And I don’t care what you think, I would’ve waited for you for forever. You deserve the world too,” you mumble into his chest, hugging him tighter.

You pull away for a moment to hold his face in your hands and look at him. It’s like you can see his guard go down as he takes in your words. “I love you. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Y/N.”

You don’t answer, you just pull his neck down to meet your lips with his. As you kiss him, your heart swells with a joy you haven’t felt in months. The feeling of being strangers is a distant memory because Robby is yours again and kissing him reminds you that no amount of time apart could make you strangers.

“You and me against the world,” he says, repeating the words you wrote to him.

#cobra kai #cobra kai imagine #cobra kai x reader #cobrakai #robbykeene #Robby Keene #Robby Keene x reader #Robby Keene imagine

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