#like SPECIFICALLY ASKED for the most painful. i just dont get it

[daughterofsarenrae]

Working at a pet store sucks bc u see sooooooo many people who straight up should not have pets. And u cant do anything about it

[ozlices]

im like sincerely so sorry bc my most shameful flaw is that envy is one of my favorite characters in the entirety of fma which is like. listen it's genuinely irredeemable but she knew exactly what she was doing when she made envy the pinnacle of gender envy bc my non-binary ass is NOT immune to feeling the gender envy to the highest degree for that little freak

[faegutz]

Hmmmm cuz I have a headache rn, what about the 141( + Konig and Los vaqueros) helping a gn reader with a migrane?

migraines and how they help ☆ pairing: 141 + los vaqueros + konig × gn! reader

authors note: i barely have migraines but when i do it hurts so much. Im gonna be honest and say im not too proud of these and i had no idea what to write sometimes- But hope you feel better soon anon and i hope you enjoy! :)

tags: migraine, hurt comfort?, domestic, probably ooc, medicine mentions, soft cod men

"CAPTAIN JOHN PRICE"

- dad mode activated !

- has a whole cabinet specifically full of medicine, some thermometers, etc.

- gives you some aspirin and water

- the type to make you go to bed and nap and will refuse to let you get out of bed or do anything yourself

- just tell him what you need and he'll get it!! no need to get up

- will lay down with you and caress your face, occassionaly giving you soft kisses on the forehead

- will always take care of you when you dont feel good and make sure you feel better before he stops

"Let me take care of you,"

"SIMON GHOST RILEY"

- kinda confused on how hes supposed to help you but hes trying okay

- will go to the store and get you something that will help you with the pain

- hes never really taken care of someone before so hes a little awkward

- he wants you to lay down and get some rest but he also doesnt want to baby you

- so he just kinda stands there while you do your thing, watching and waiting in case you need his help with anything

- if you ask him to lay down with you, he will and he'll make sure to hold you close

- "It's okay, love,"

"JOHN SOAP MACTAVISH"

- i feel like he gets sick maybe once a year so he has no clue how to even help with a migraine

- will stand in the medicine aisle at the store, staring at every single thing thats on the shelf and having no clue what to grab

- doesnt want to call you and bother you because youre in pain, so he ends up asking someone else in the aisle what the hell youre supposed to get for a migraine

- gets home about 5 minutes later than he should because he took so long just standing in the store with a confused look on his face

- will make you soup or something warm because that usually helped him when he was sick or in pain

- he almost started a fire because he forgot he was even making you food since he was more distracted by worrying over you and making sure you were comfortable !! how fun

- "Uh, the soup is burnt.."

"KYLE GAZ GARRICK"

- he definitely gets sick often, and hes almost an expert on how to help you

- makes sure you drink water regularly and occasionally take an aspirin

- most of the migraines hes ever gotten was because he was stressed

- so he practically gives you a therapy session and asks you what gave you the headache and if you were stressed

- lets you just talk it out if you were stressed

- keeps a close eye on you and makes sure you drink enough water and that you eat

- "Tell me whats been bothering you,"

"ALEJANDRO VARGAS"

- immediately notices that youre in pain when he sees you wince or squint your eyes

- is ready with pain medication and some water

- he offers to give you a back massage and hes very skilled with his hands so it feels amazing

- he makes sure to close all the blinds or curtains so its darker inside so the pain is less for you

- whispers in your ear about how much he loves you just so you feel relaxed and comfortable

- gives you kisses on the top of your head and soothingly rubs your back in circles

- "Te amo mucho,"

"RODOLFO RUDY PARRA"

- out of all the characters on this list, I have a feeling he would definitely be the best caretaker for you

- makes sure you get sleep and drink water, will literally hold you down if he has to

- he holds you against his chest while you sleep, staying by your side the whole time

- will cook meals for you and basically do everything for you

- suggests turning on some soothing noises or guided meditation sounds on the TV that will help you relax

- he also will brush your hair/do your hair for you if you find it relaxing

- "Solo relájate, cariño."

"KONIG"

- ohh hes so sorry that youre in pain and he tries his best to comfort you in any way he can

- hes not sure what to do himself but if you ask anything of him he will get right on it

- frequently asks if youre comfortable or if you need him to do anything

- it almost gets annoying, but he just wants to make sure youre taken care of and that you feel better soon

- he has no clue how to cook most things so he does the next best thing and goes to the store and buys all your favorite snacks for you

- "Do you need anything else, meine liebe?"

[lincolndjarin]

Every Now and Then - ch. two

[ And if You Only Hold Me Tight ]

pairing : joel miller x f!reader, platonicsoulmate!tommy & f!reader

word count : 9.3k

summary : you spend some time tommy, you spent some time with joel.

tags/warnings : 18+ mdni, angst, canon typical violence, language, panic attacks, violence, injury, wounds, possessive behavior, toxic relationships, animal death, i probs missed some i never know how to tag so lmk if i misses anything !!

a/n : this took so long and i dont even know it its good so i'm deeply sorry about that.

ao3 .𖥔 ݁ ˖ series masterlist .𖥔 ݁ ˖ main masterlist .𖥔 ݁ ˖ kofi

Now - JACKSON, WYOMING : 2023

“It’s nice to meet you Ellie.” You hold your hand out across the table to her, offering your own name up in the process, noticing an incredulous look in her eyes as you say it. Of course she doesn’t shake it, you’ve worked with enough survivors her age to know how they think. 

She doesn’t trust any of this, and you can’t blame her. Every single thing she’s seen since arriving here is too good to be true, she’s waiting for the other shoe to drop. That’s okay, you can be patient. She just needs to learn how to be a kid again. When she makes no attempt to move you pull your hand back, your smile never wavering. You’ve met kids in much worse condition than this, you can work with this. 

“Why don’t you tell me a little bit about yourself, Ellie.” You set the notebook you’d been writing in back down onto the table, you don’t want this to feel like an interrogation for her, it needs to be a conversation or you won’t get any of the information you need.

“Like what?” She’s slouched down into the chair, her arms crossed across her chest. She has her defenses up, she has spent her entire life protecting herself, she isn’t going to stop just because a stranger offered her a mug of tea. A mug of tea that she has notably not touched. 

“Anything you want to, or I could ask some specifics if you’d like.” You take a sip of your own tea, hoping it might show her it’s safe. She only hums in response, you decide it might be for the best if you just ask her what you need to know. “Let’s start with a few easy ones, how old are you?” 

“Why do you need to know?” 

“We need to assess your health, what classes you’ll be put in, if you’ll be needing any feminine products. I promise, anything I ask is for your own good.” Seeing kids like Ellie is a painful reminder of just how lucky your own little ones are, it’s a wonder she made it this far. You can’t hold her skepticism against her, her distrust is why she’s still alive. “Would it help if we brought your father in? He’s just down the hall with Maria.” You aren’t sure why, you typically handle every stray but she had insisted on helping you out today. She’d spewed some sort of excuse about how Ellie might need some special attention but as far as you can tell she’s in the same state that most kids are in when they arrive. 

“He’s not my dad.” She’s quick to say it, as if it’s a sore subject. 

“May I ask his relation to you then?” Maria had told you she arrived with her father, you were told to expect one teenage girl and one man in his fifties.

“He’s… my friend?” She sounds unsure, unsure enough to ring alarm bells in your head. 

“Honey, are you in a safe situation? We can help you if you need-” She doesn’t even let you finish your question before sitting up straighter.

“No, no, no, gross, it’s not like that, he’s not like that.” The look of disgust on her face brings you immense relief, this world is full of enough horrors for a young woman to face. 

“Okay, I just wanted to make sure.” Even if she hasn’t been through that, she hasn’t had it easy, no one has. But there’s something distinct in her eyes. Loss. She’s seen more than enough of it, more than anyone her age should. Her eyes keep darting to the door, her head tilts in that direction every time someone walks by. She’s worried about her companion. She doesn’t want to lose him too. “I know none of this makes sense, and you have no reason to trust me but I need you to try Ellie. And if I ask you anything you aren’t comfortable with then you don’t have to answer but I need you to try, please. The faster we finish up here, the faster you can get back to your friend.” 

She takes a moment, you’re practically holding your breath when she finally nods.

Perfect, you can work with a nod. You love a nod, a nod is all you need to help this girl.

“Let’s start with your age again.” 

“Fourteen.” You’ll have to have a menstruation kit sent to whatever house they put her in, most people’s cycles start being regular once after a few months in Jackson.

“Thank you.” All you get is another nod yet you can’t help but smile. “Do you know where you were born?”

“No.” Her eyes are trained on your shoes, occasionally darting around the room but staying low for the most part. 

“Where did you grow up?” 

“The QZ.” The thought makes you sick for several reasons. The last place a child should grow up is the streets of a quarantine zone, even if she was in the FEDRA program it wouldn’t have been easy. The thought of any QZ still makes you queasy, even after this long. 

“Which one?” Anywhere but Boston. 

“Boston.” Of course. With your luck she would be. Someone’s far from home.  

“FEDRA program?” As terrible as they are, they always keep the kids' vaccinations up to date, one less thing for you to worry about. 

“Mhmm.” 

“How old were you when you left?”

“Fourteen.” How the hell did she make it to Jackson all the way from Boston in such a short period of time? Why come to Jackson at all? There’s certainly other QZ’s between here and there, there’s probably other settlements too. 

“Can I ask why you left?” It’s not a question you need to ask but your stomach is in knots at the mention of the Boston QZ and you can’t help yourself. 

“I’d rather you didn’t.” Something flashes across her face, she isn’t trying to be rude, she simply doesn’t want to talk about it. 

“That’s fine.” You don’t need to worry about it. She doesn’t know him. There’s no reason for her to know him. QZ’s house hundreds, if not thousands, of people. There’s no reason to spiral over nothing. “Do you have any allergies that you’re aware of?”

“Nope.” She makes a popping sound on the “P” as she leans back in the chair, trying to look relaxed despite how on edge she still is. You decide not to put anymore pressure on her, it won’t do you any good. 

“How are you feeling physically? Any symptoms of illness?”

“Like infection?” You have to stifle a laugh, if she was infected the two of you certainly wouldn’t be sitting here right now. 

“I’m not worried about that, I mean something more like a runny nose or a cough.”

“Oh. No.” 

“Any skills in particular you’d like to learn? Our school system is a little less traditional than what you probably had with FEDRA.”

“I like science.” She sits up a bit, good, you’ve found something that piques her interest. 

“Then I will make sure you’re enrolled in some science classes. But I meant skills like agriculture, construction, or veterinary care. Something you could learn about that interests you. You won’t be asked to help out around town until you’re sixteen but we like to let you explore different things to see what you like-”

“Could I learn how to shoot a gun?” She leans forward before you can finish your thought. 

“You could apprentice some of the hunters, we could also have you trained for patrol and scavenging which involves gun safety and training courses. You’re a bit young for those but I’m sure I could ”

“Really?” You can tell by the inflection in her voice that she still doesn’t trust you entirely, even if she’s excited.

“Of course, you’ll probably be the youngest student in the training class but I’m sure you can handle it.” She needs something good in her life. You want to protect everyone who finds their way to Jackson but this girl makes your heart ache. Most adults you’ve worked with aren’t able to hold themselves together this long, putting on a brave face despite everything. 

“Do you like burgers?” You almost cringe as you say it, hoping she’s had food outside of the synthetic shit FEDRA produces.

“I guess?”

“I’m having a little cookout tomorrow evening once everyone’s finished their work, it’ll be small, just me and some family but you’re welcome to join. You can bring your friend, I have two little ones you can play with. They might be a little younger than your usual friends but I promise they’re great company.” You swear she almost smiles, and suddenly you just want to make this poor kid smile. “You know, I’ve got a telescope in my garage, so if you stop by it’s all yours.”

“Seriously?”

“Absolutely, I’ve never even touched the thing so maybe you can put it to good use. Let me write down the house description for you, it isn’t too far from this building, you can stop in whenever you want tomorrow. There’s an empty house across the street as well, maybe I could show it to you, see if you like it.” You pencil it down, tearing the paper and handing it to her. This isn’t something you’d typically do but you can’t resist an opportunity to help her feel more at home here. 

“Yeah, I mean that would be great.”

“Perfect.” You lean back in your chair. “What sort of hobbies interest you?” You’ll be in charge of putting together a welcome basket for her since Maria has marked her down as a permanent occupant.

“Reading, I like comics. And I used to draw a lot in the QZ.” Perfect, books are easy to find since Jackson was built around a small library.

“Okay then, I think that’s all I need from you for now but I’ll be around soon once you get housing settled. You can go join Maria and your friend if you’d like, I have to figure out what house we’re going to put you two in but I’ll be stopping by later with a few things for you.” That actually isn’t all you need from her, there are more questions on your mind, one specific question. Ask her what his name is. 

“Thanks.” She stands, quickly heading towards the exit as you grab your notebook, you need to make a list of everything they’ll be needing. 

You shouldn’t. If by some stroke of misfortune you’re right this question will only serve to destroy everything you’ve worked so hard to push away. You shouldn’t.

But you do. 

Before she’s out the door you call out her name, you don’t want to know, but you have to.

“Ellie, what’s your friend's name?”

You found the treehouse two months after you found Jackson. 

With tears streaming down your face you had dropped the twins off at Maria’s, mumbling apologies before going to the edge of town, a large amount of Jackson was empty, and still is. They’re planning for the future. Someday, generations from now, the town will grow and they’ll use these houses to accommodate families. But for now it’s just an empty town, one that you realized had a treehouse. You had hidden yourself away there, curling up into a ball to become as small as possible.

Tommy had found you hours later, shivering, with no more tears left to cry. And he hadn’t chastised you or asked you why you’d done it, he’d just taken your hand and walked you home. It doesn’t take him hours this time, only about thirty minutes according to your watch. You hear the crunch of his boots, the walking pattern you recognize as his, and the creak of the boards as he pushes the hatch open before sliding up into the small space with you. 

Before he speaks you’re already reaching for him, desperate to cling to some kind of familiar safety. 

“Hey darlin’.” It’s a dance you two do, fluid and instinctual as he pulls you into his arms, you slot yourself between his bent legs as he wraps himself around you. You used to sit like this when you couldn’t find shelter on snowy nights, one of the many habits you had trouble breaking when you found Jackson. Maria would never ask you to change your relationship with him, it was a decision you had made with Tommy when he told you he wanted to marry her. A part of you just sort of knew she didn’t like it, so you stopped. And you’d never hold that against her, if the roles were reversed you certainly wouldn’t be as kind as she’s been. That’s why you’ve always loved Maria, since the first day you met her she has been like a sister, patient but blunt with you. 

Except in this one instance. 

She withheld some particularly important information.

“The twins?” You lay back against him as you mumble.

“Maria’s watching them. They’re helping her make dinner, you shoulda’ seen them in the kitchen. I swear she’s the only person they listen…” His voice trails off when he feels you tensing up all over again as you go back to fighting off tears.

A silence falls between you, familiar and reminiscent of your first few days together out in the woods. And just like back then, you’re the one to break it. 

“Have you seen him yet?” The words feel small and hoarse in your throat.

“No. Couldn’t bring myself to.” He rests his chin on your shoulder, you wish you could find comfort in any of this but there’s just too much dread. Too much unease fills your stomach to relax. 

“Does he know you’re here?” You wish your voice didn’t tremble so much.

“Maria didn’t tell him.” 

“Are we sure it’s even him?” 

“Not a lot of Joel Millers walking around during the apocalypse.” It’s like he can sense your skepticism as he quickly continues. “She said he looked like a Miller.”

“What does that even mean?”

“Like me but grayer.” Fair enough.

“Does he know I’m here?” There’s no way. He couldn’t. 

“No.” 

“Good.” 

“Can’t stay that way forever.” You know that. But you don’t have anything to say about it so you move on, and redirect the anger that mixes with your confusion and fear.

“Why didn’t she tell us?” He can’t take your side in this, as much as you want him to, he has to take her side because her’s is the rational one. Do you have a side? Can you be mad at her for this? Are there even sides?

“Probably because she knew we’d react like this.” His head tilts a bit to rest against your own. You’re thankful for this position so you don’t have to look him in the eye.

“She should have told us.” You’re trying to remain calm but your voice is pitching up higher by the minute. 

“She was going to, she just didn’t know how. She thought she had more time” 

You need to relax. It feels like your heart is going to burst from your chest and you’re certain Tommy feels it too. 

“How did he find us?” He wouldn’t have been looking for you specifically, unless he had a death wish. 

“On accident, I think. Maria said he was looking for me when they found him.” That makes sense. It’s just a coincidence that you’re also here. He has no way of knowing that you even know Tommy. How he managed to locate him is another matter. 

“We’re two thousand miles away from the QZ, how the fuck did he find you?”

“He always gets what he wants.” 

You can’t argue with that. Plain and simple, you don’t need much more than that. 

“I don’t want to see him.” An impossible request, but you make it anyway. 

“We both know that isn’t possible.” 

“Tell her to send him away.” Also unlikely. 

“You know she can’t do that, we don’t turn folks away from Jackson.” 

“Then I’ll leave.”

“Like hell you will.” There is no fight in his voice, just certainty as he holds you a little tighter. Not without me. The silent promise that lingers under his words, but it’s more complicated than that now, you have two toddlers and he has a wife, there is no running away from this. No running away from him

He’s inevitable. 

It doesn’t matter if the world ends, and you run halfway across the country, Joel Miller is inevitable.

“He’s got a kid.” You mumble as you reach for his hand, entwining your fingers with his. You hadn’t realized how cold you were until you felt the warmth of his skin against yours. 

He scoffs. “He’s got two.”

“Another kid, some girl. He brought her here all the way from Boston.”

He shifts a bit, clearly confused. “Why?”

“I was hoping you’d know, it isn’t exactly in his nature to help the needy.” 

He pauses for a moment. “Well, I mean, how old is she?”

“Fourteen.” 

“Well there’s your reason, Sarah was fourteen.”

Sarah.

A girl you know very little about other than the fact that she’s your daughter's namesake. Sarah Ruth Miller. It had been Tommy’s idea, you had only picked out a name for a boy and you owed Tommy everything for keeping you alive that long, so when he asked if he could pick his niece's middle name you’d been more than happy to oblige. 

It hadn’t been Joel who told you about Sarah, he never even told you he had a kid. 

Tommy had told you about it just before the twins were born. You’d been snowed into a cabin and he’d just returned from hunting with a grin on his face as he told you he had a surprise. You couldn’t sleep, between the cold and the pain in your lower back you were just too uncomfortable most nights. Tommy always insisted on staying up to keep you company even if he ended up falling asleep most of the time. 

That night he told you about how he lost his niece on outbreak day as he skinned the fox he’d caught in one of his traps as you sat beside him in front of the crumbling fireplace. When he finished the story he held up the pelt and told you he was going to make your babies first blanket with it. 

Of course at the time neither of you knew that he would have to make a second blanket, or that he would need to do it a month sooner than either of you had planned. 

“I invited him to dinner tomorrow.” No sense in hiding the fact from him, he’ll find out either way. 

“What?” His hand tightens around yours and it’s your turn to comfort him as your thumb rubs circles against the tense skin.

“Ellie- the kid, I invited her before I knew about Joel. Even told her she could bring him.” You almost laugh at how ridiculous it all sounds now. Of course you invited him to dinner completely by accident, sounds like something you would do. 

“Then why don’t we just get it over with?” Or you could leave, brave the Wyoming wilderness with your kids and his wife and make a run for it, far, far, away from Joel Miller. 

But you can’t do that. 

So you might as well get it over with. 

“Together?” You bring his hand up to your face to warm the icy skin of your cheek.

“Together.” 

He means it. He stays with you until the next day, walking you back into town and bringing you to his house. Maria starts apologizing the second the two of you walk through the door but you just hug her. She doesn’t owe you anything, any anger you thought you felt towards her was misplaced. 

And you all settle in for the night. 

On particularly bad nights you’ll spend the night at their house. It’s been happening less and less these last few months but it’s an unspoken decision tonight as Maria brings down sleeping bags from the attic for the kids. 

You tuck the kids in by the fireplace, hoping that they don’t catch the vacant look in your eyes as you kiss their foreheads. Thankfully they both seem to be too excited about having a living room campout to notice. You hear hushed whispers from the kitchen, it sounds like an argument so you just sit on the couch, wrapping a blanket around yourself as you stare out the window facing the street. 

What house did she put them in? There are a few options for temporary housing, but he could be anywhere. The thought makes you nauseous. Thankfully you’re distracted when you eventually hear Maria stomping up the stairs followed by a sigh from the kitchen before Tommy joins you on the couch. 

“Everything all right?” You mumble, hoping to not wake the kids as you offer up some of the blanket to him. 

“It will be.”

God you hope so.

“How do you wanna do this?” 

Good question. 

Preferably you wouldn’t be doing this at all, instead you would be enjoying what might be the last nice day before autumn sets in entirely. You, Arthur, Ruth, Tommy, and Maria. You’d still be happy if Ellie came over by herself but that’s so unlikely you don’t even consider it an option. Joel’s too protective and you confirmed with Maria that Ellie would be coming. He won’t let her go alone, you know that better than anyone. 

You rub the back of your neck with your freehand. “The kids stay inside with Maria.” Ruth is already there, helping her aunt with the salad as Arthur sits in your lap, playing with a few stones he’s set up on the picnic table. 

“Okay.” Tommy’s biting his nails, you’d spent weeks reprimanding him about that until he broke the habit.  

Your knee starts bouncing, a nervous habit of your own that you’ve had for as long you can remember. Thankfully Arthur simply hums to himself as you bounce him. As far as you can tell neither one of the twins knows something is wrong, you can only hope it stays that way. 

“We can wait for them out here, I can ask Ellie to go in and help Maria with the kids.”

“And then?”

You frown in contemplation. “I haven’t planned that far ahead.”

“So you didn’t plan for the most important part?”

“Did you?” 

His teeth shift when you ask, biting down hard enough to split his nail lower than he intended. You watch as blood blooms there while he curses under his breath.   

“Shit, go inside and grab a bandage, they’re in the cabinet above the sink.” He stands as you wave him towards the house, he brings his thumb to his mouth, his brow furrowed. “And bring Maria and Ruth out with you when you come back so we can go over everything with her.” He nods, humming in response before he disappears behind the screen door.

“Is Uncle Tommy okay?” When you look down you’re met with a worried look plastered on your son's face. You instinctively cup his face with your hand, using your thumb to smooth out the wrinkle between his brows. He looks too much like his father when he does that. 

“He’s okay, love. He’s just gotta go get your Aunt and Ruth.” You lean down, kissing his forehead before turning to set him down next to you. 

“Okay, Mama.” He seems satisfied with your response as he gives your leg a little pat before running off towards the edge of the yard. You’ve got a patch of rocks and gravel the kids like to dig through. You turn to watch him, with your back now leaning against the picnic table as he crouches down, examining the ground before finding a suitable stone. Clutching it in his hand he rushes back to you, holding it up for your approval.

“Very pretty, thank you.” You take it from him with a smile, setting it behind you on the table with the rest of them. He repeats the process several times, staring down at the ground, scrutinizing each rock before bringing the ones he deems good enough over to you. You give appropriate oo’s and ah’s to each one, grateful for the brief peace your son is able to give you. He carries on with this for sometime, until you have a sizable pile of rocks beside you. 

He leaves, and he returns, dozens of times until he decides not to return to the patch of gravel. 

You thank him for the speckled stone he hands you now but instead of running back across the yard he squints, staring up at your expression. 

“What’s wrong?” He hops up onto the bench next to you, grabbing the sleeve of your shirt and bunching it up in his little fist as you give him a soft smile.

“Nothing’s wrong, hon.” You ruffle his hair a bit but he doesn’t seem convinced. 

“Why’d you make a mad face then? Uncle Tommy too.” 

So much for the kids being clueless, they’ve always been too smart for their own good. 

Shit.

You sigh, looking up at the clouds briefly before looking back down at him.

No sense in lying to him. “You know how Uncle Tommy has a brother?” You wrap an arm around him, pulling him close.

His face scrunches up a bit as he thinks. “Yeah…” He doesn’t sound entirely convinced as you give him a reassuring smile. 

“Well, we don’t really- we don’t always get along with Uncle Tommy’s brother, and he’s gonna be visiting us soon.” 

“Why?” 

“He’s in Jackson for a little bit, and he came a long way to get here-”

“No Mama, why don’t you like him?”

This is a conversation you had hoped to have with your children when they’re older. Preferably it would be one you wouldn’t have to have at all, but it’s just another unavoidable part of Joel. They’re already old enough to ask questions, it started when kids in their class began asking if Tommy was their dad. Which of course led to the twins asking you one night just before bed the same question. 

“No love, he’s your uncle, who told you that?” You don’t want that rumor going around, people already talk about it, it doesn’t help that they both bear a resemblance to him.

“No one, Annie asked us.” Your daughter answers as you brush some of her hair behind her ear.  You recognize the name, it’s a girl in their daycare class. 

“And what did you tell her?”

“That we just got a mom.” Ruth answers but Arthur picks up the second she’s finished speaking. 

“Do we have a dad?” He tilts his head to the side as you swallow loudly. 

“Yes, you do.”

“Where?” Ruth asks. 

Last you’d heard he was in Boston. 

“I’m not sure.” They turn and look at each other before turning in unison towards you, you should have known they wouldn’t take that answer. “We lived together for a little while, in New York, and then we got separated.” None of that means anything to either of them but it’s an answer, which is better than nothing.

Arthurs tiny hand squeezes yours, pulling you back into reality. You often wonder if they know when you’re lost in a memory, he looks up at you curiously. What did you do to deserve such a patient child? 

You take a moment to think of a way to phrase it. “We… got into a fight. A long time ago.”

“About what?”

“Grown up stuff.” Your heartbeat quickens, you don’t want him to know about all that, he’s too little, you need to end this conversation.

“What kin-“ When he starts another line of questioning you poke at his sides, sliding him off the bench in a fit of giggles. 

“Time to go inside, nosy little man.” You follow after him as he rushes away, brown hair that’s just starting to curl at the ends falling into his eyes as he runs away from the house.

You catch up to him within a few steps, scooping him up and cradling him like a baby. He lets out a high pitched shriek until you squish your face into his cheek, kissing the rosy skin until he quiets down to a few small giggles. 

“Your aunt needs some help in the kitchen, you’re gonna go play with her and your sister now.” He nods as he squirms in your arms until he’s more comfortable, wrapping his arms around your neck and resting his chin on your shoulder as you walk him back towards the house. 

He’s gonna need a nap soon, which means Ruth is gonna need a nap soon. Maybe you should try and get them both down before everything else happens. 

Right on cue, Tommy pushes open the door with Ruth on his hip, Maria not far behind him. Based on the smiles they’re both sporting you can assume they’ve made up. They always do. 

“I think it might be time for these two to head inside.” Tommy gives you a soft smile and for a single second you get to pretend that everything’s fine. Maria takes a lighter towards the grill, trying to light it as you go to stand next to Tommy, the twins both grinning at each other. 

In your own little bubble, everything is completely fine, and you’re with your family. 

And at the end of your single perfect second the bubble is popped. It all happens before you’re ready, although you doubt you could ever really be ready for this. 

Maria pockets her lighter, mumbling something about going inside to look for matches after a few unsuccessful attempts. You set Arthur down, nudging him in her direction, he quickly runs towards her, taking her hand as she begins to make her way back towards the house. Tommy wraps his free hand around your shoulder. Giving you a reassuring squeeze as you rest your head against him to stare at your little girl. 

“We’ve got this.” He gives you another squeeze but you’re struggling to find safety in it. He’s always been the strong one, the confrontational one. He’s got this. You don’t. You tilt your head to stare at him when Ruth’s gaze goes from your face to his but your head snaps to the side when you hear your name called. 

Everyone looks up. The twins, Maria, Tommy, and you, as Ellie walks around the side of the house and waves at you. The sound of your name makes the man walking behind her look as well, his all too familiar scowl scanning the yard, softening into a look of disbelief when his eyes settle on you.

Then - NEW YORK CITY, QUARANTINE ZONE : 2019

“I don’t like havin’ you out there on your own. I worry too much.” He mumbles the words against the back of your neck as he tightens his hold around your waist. At some point the two of you had stopped pretending you’d wake up any other way and just went to bed like this. “Stay here, angel.” 

You’re so comfortable you almost consider it, but you ran out of cards last week and you’re cleared for work as of today. “I have to go if I want to sign up for any of the well paying shifts, Joel.” You peel his arms off of you, sitting up as he matches your movements. 

“Don’t sign up for that shit, it’s always somethin’ stupid or dangerous.” His voice is low and thick with sleep as he wraps his arms back around you. “If you need somethin’ I’ll get it for you.” He hasn’t shaved in a few weeks, his coarse facial hair rubs against your shoulder as he murmurs. 

Who knew big, scary Joel Miller could be so clingy. 

The most surprising part of your relationship, if you could even call it that, with Joel is just how needy he is. You don’t have any problems with it, it’s just a bit of a shock. Although maybe needy isn’t the right word. 

Protective. 

You’ve left the apartment two times in total since moving in with Joel, both times you insisted on needing air much to his dismay. He accompanied you around the block without a word the first time. The second time was the same, the only difference was that you stopped to buy a small bag of buttons, Joel had frowned as you made small talk with the older man sitting behind the table before rushing you home. 

“You could have just told me you needed buttons.” He grumbles as he holds the door open for you as you make your way to the kitchen table, taking a seat as you take his flannel off of you, the sight of your tattered sports bra serves as a reminder of how badly you need to get back to work once you’re cleared. 

“I don’t need buttons, you do. Every shirt you own is missing at least one.” You laid the shirt down on the table, pointing to the drawer next to the sink. “Get me the sewing kit.” His frown deepens but he does as you say before sitting down across from you.

Reaching across the table he sets the box down beside you, crossing his arms in front of his chest. “Still, you should have just asked me.” 

You open the small tin, unspooling a bit of thread. “I needed to go outside for a few minutes, it’s stuffy in here.” 

“We could have opened a window.” He grumbles under his breath as you grin, holding the thread between your teeth while sliding the other end through the needle.

“It’s not the same and you know it.” You mumble through your teeth before releasing the thread and setting the needle down. You pour the buttons out onto the table, searching for one that best matches the beige of the buttons on the flannel. Eventually his hand encompasses your own as he guides you to one that’s a slightly different shape but matches the color perfectly. “Thank you.” You give him a teasing smile as you place it over the frayed threads where its predecessor once was. 

That was a week ago and you haven’t been outside since but when Joel went to get the mail from downstairs he brought you a notice from the doctor that you were cleared to return to work today. Despite his protests you start to push the blanket off of you but he’s quick to pull it right back up into place.

“Stay, please.” He continues to hum against your skin. 

“I need the money, Joel.” You turn to look at him, his usual morning sulky look seems doubled today.

“How much do you need?” He raises an eyebrow at you as he lets his face fall forward, his forehead resting on yours. 

“It’s not like that.” You swear, if you asked him to, he'd find a way to give you the moon and stars, but you hate relying on him for everything, especially after such a long time of being dependent on him. “I just need to work.”

“You don’t need to. You want to.” His breath still smells like whiskey from last night as he gives you an exasperated glare. 

“Fine, I want to work. My leg’s fine now, you can barely tell anything was wrong with it. I’ll be okay.” You lean just a bit more towards him, kissing his cheek before sliding out of bed. 

You aren’t exactly dating Joel. 

Dating seems so trivial during an apocalypse, and you haven’t had any conversations about it. It just sort of happened. You woke up one day and neither one of you wanted to pull away from the other, and it progressed from there. He came home from a job one night and climbed into bed next to you, wrapping himself around you and he kissed your forehead before falling asleep. You still don’t know if he knew you were awake. The next night you’d taken his face in your hands and kissed him, just to see what he’d do, thankfully after a moment of shock he’d kissed you back. And it just became another unspoken part of your life with Joel. He kissed you goodbye when he left to go do the things he refused to tell you about in any detail, and you always greeted him with a kiss when he returned. 

But you don’t have sex. 

You want to ask him why but you hold your tongue, it’s possible you’re just being impatient or maybe he just wants to wait. So you don’t push it or bring it up because you like how things are with him. 

The word boyfriend is not a word that suits Joel. 

He isn’t your boyfriend, he’s just sort of, yours. 

“Angel, please.” He continues his griping as he pinches the bridge of his nose. 

“Joel, please.” You repeat back at him, trying to mimic his low tone.  

“I’m bein’ serious. Things have gotten bad out there recently, too much FEDRA bullshit.” 

“It’s always been bad and I’ve always managed, I’ll be fine.” You pull one of his shirts out of the closet, slipping it on, starting to button it as he makes his way to the end of the bed. 

“Can we at least talk about this?” He rests his elbows on his knees as he hunches over. The morning haze on his face is gone and is replaced by the stern scowl you’re used to. 

“There isn’t anything to talk about. I’ll be careful, there’s nothing to worry about, I’ll see you tonight.” After digging through the dresser drawers you eventually find your only pair of jeans. Once your boots are laced you walk back over to him, standing between his legs and taking his face in your hands. 

Staring down into his surprisingly gentle eyes, so dark that in the dim morning light they look pitch black. 

God he’s pretty. 

Even with that stupid pout of his. 

“I’ll see you tonight.” You lean down, placing a kiss on his forehead before pulling away only to be stopped when his grip on your waist tightens. 

“Just- wait.” You’re about to push him away with a laugh but his voice cracks just enough to make your smile drop. 

You start to speak in a soft tone but you only get one word out. “Joel…” 

“Please- I just- I can’t let you go out there and sign up for that shit. There’s jobs that aren’t dangerous, simple stuff.”

“Those jobs pay a few cards at best, hon. I can’t wear your clothes forever, I need new underwear, socks, all sorts of things. And I want to contribute around here, I’ll be okay, I promise.” You push the mess of hair falling across his forehead back as you stare down at him. 

He looks so genuinely upset already and you haven’t even left yet, he’s making this far more difficult than you thought it’d be. “I won’t be able to do anything if I don’t know you’re safe. It’s dangerous for both of us, I can’t be distracted like that.” You sigh, long and loud as you drop your hands to your sides. 

The more you think about it the more it makes sense. He really does worry too much, and even if you don’t know exactly what he does for work, you know it’s dangerous. 

Maybe it won’t be so bad. 

“Okay.” You groan. 

“You’ll stay?” The corners of his mouth start to raise a bit. 

“I’ll do the safer jobs.” The hint of a smile that had been on his face dissipates. “It’s a compromise. You can’t always get everything you want.” 

“Fine, come right home after.”

“I will.” With one more kiss he finally lets you go. 

So, at Joel’s request, you sign up for the easy jobs. 

They’re boring, and generally sort of terrible, and they pay the least, but Joel doesn’t make any further arguments about it. So you keep signing up for them. Typically it’s childcare, or filing documents for FEDRA, or working in the entry level food processing jobs. 

Boring, boring, jobs that involve standing around and doing nothing or wrangling kids who don’t deserve to grow up in a place like this. You hate the look on their little faces, they always look too grown up for their ages. 

But you put up with it, because at the end of the day you get to go home to Joel, Joel who seems to be in significantly higher spirits ever since you’ve agreed to those specific jobs. So you make it work. He makes it worth the banality of it all, at the end of your first week back to work he surprised you with a large paper bag, grinning like you’d never seen him before. When you unfolded the crumpled bag you were greeted with a mess of fabric, different colors and textures. You poured the contents onto the bed and immediately realized what he’d gotten you. Bras, panties, socks, and two pairs of jeans. It must’ve cost him a fortune and your eyes began to water immediately. You had wrapped your arms around him, barely letting go of him for the rest of the night. 

After that it got even easier, eventually you got used to it. 

You learned to live with the terrible jobs, and if you wanted anything you couldn’t afford with your meager savings Joel always managed to get it for you, even if you hadn’t told him you’d wanted it in the first place. 

You probably would have stayed like that forever if you hadn’t started taking the long way home. Weeks had passed before it happened, you had grown comfortable, vulnerable. Joel always made sure you felt safe and you let your guard down just long enough for something to happen. 

Joel had left early that morning, telling you that he was gonna be late, before he kissed you, he was out the door before the sun came up. 

Whenever Joel told you he would be late you took the long way home. Winding back alleys that were mostly empty that always led back to the apartment building. It was just a treat for yourself, something to do to fill time that would be spent at home, waiting for him. 

You never had any issues or alterations. 

Until that afternoon. 

Joel will be late. 

So the second your shift is over you take the handful of cards and make your way through the city. And just like you’ve done every other time, you look behind you every once and a while but not nearly as much as you should. Because of this, you don’t see him until it’s too late. 

It’s a younger man, probably a year or two older than you at most peering around the last corner you turned. Once he knows he’s been seen his pace quickens and instinctively you do the same. 

“On the ground!” The second you hear it you pray it’s for someone else, it has to be, you’ve done nothing wrong. You walk faster, hoping to avoid what could be a messy confrontation when the sound of boots slamming on the pavement rushes towards you and you’re forced up against the wall of the alley. 

In your peripheral you catch the white text against the black of his uniform. 

FEDRA. 

Your knees are kicked from under you as he pins your arms behind your back, the force at which your head hits the stone has you dizzy as you try to catch your breath. Too much is happening too quickly, when you finally feel like you can use your voice the wind is knocked out of you as you feel him hit you in the side, hard enough to have you wondering if he broke a rib. The force of the hit makes your knees crumble completely as the officer lets you fall, only giving you enough time to get to your hands and knees before his boot slams into your stomach knocking you onto your side. 

Finally, when you roll over onto your back you get a clear look at him. He looks like your average FEDRA officer, the only thing out of place is the unsure look on his face. Your ears are ringing so you barely make out what he says, all you catch is something about thinking you were someone else, before he turns and leaves as if it never happened.

Leaving you alone to clutch your stomach and wonder what just happened, and what you did to deserve that. 

You’d never heard of random attacks from FEDRA before. Maybe in other zones, but the city has always been calm as far as that goes. Maybe things really did get worse while your leg was healing. 

Joel was right. 

That’s all you can think about as you stumble to get to your feet, everything hurts but now is not the time to assess your wounds, you need to get home before something else happens. You manage to hobble up the stairs of the building, nearly collapsing by the time you opened the door. 

You feel so stupid. 

Joel was right. 

It isn’t safe out there, at least not for you. No one fucks with Joel, no one attacks him on the street because they’re afraid of him. No ones afraid of you. 

It’s a long couple of hours after that. 

Mostly a lot of berating yourself as you try to take in the extent of the damage. 

Surprisingly it seems to mostly be surface level. Sure, you’re going to bruise pretty bad and your face got scraped up on the stones but nothing permanent seems to have been inflicted. 

Once you’ve showered and slipped into an old shirt of his and a pair of panties you climb into bed, wanting this day to just be over, but you know it isn’t. Right on schedule you hear the lock click as Joel steps through the front door, you hide your face in your pillow. 

“What are you still doin’ up? It’s almost midnight.” His voice is a low whisper as you hear the familiar sounds of him kicking off his boots and setting down his things. You hear the outer layer of his clothing hit the floor, you told him a while ago you thought it was gross that he slept in the clothes he wore all day. He started sleeping in his undershirt and boxers after that. “You okay, Darlin’?” The bed shifts as he sits beside you and the second you turn and look at him his jaw twitches. “Christ… what the hell happened? Who did this to you?” He’s managing to stay mostly calm but you’re already worried he’s going to blow. 

“It’s nothing, I just had an issue with an officer on my way-“

“This is not nothing.” He’s already fussing with your face as you take his hands and move them away from you. 

“Joel-“

“Tell me what happened.” It’s a command and you’re too tired to fabricate something, and for the first time in a while, you’re afraid. 

So you tell him exactly how it happened. And before you realize it’s happening you’re sniffling, a part of you feels like you’re about to be scolded for this but he only nods, never interrupting you until you’ve finished. 

Your vision’s blurry with tears when you look up at him, the weight of being attacked starts to weigh heavy as you realize just how lucky you were that that was all that happened. And then you say the words he’s been waiting to hear.

“You were right, Joel.” 

“I’m sorry, angel. I should have been there to protect you.” He holds his arms open and you don’t hesitate as you lean forward into him. You do your best to hold it together as he lays you down before clicking off the lamp and pulling you back against him. He softly scratches your back, kissing the top of your head as he does. It’s silent for a few more minutes until he suddenly whispers into the darkness. “Tell me you’ll stay here from now on.”

“Joel, I-“

“No more going out there without me. You’ll stay safe right here, no one can hurt you here, not while I’m around.” You open your mouth to argue again but stop yourself. 

He’s right. 

Now that you’ve calmed down you know that you’re lucky to even be alive. You don’t know why you were attacked but you know it could happen again, and there are worse things than being beaten. 

No one would hurt you here, not with Joel around. 

“Stay here, angel.” He murmurs, softer this time. 

Joel is right.

“Okay.”

He isn’t beside you when you wake up, your hands searching through the cold sheets seeking his warmth. He had mentioned something as you were falling asleep about an early morning supply run but you had hoped to say goodbye before he left, you wanted to make him breakfast. As you get ready to roll back over and sleep a bit more you’re startled into an upright position. 

“You should watch where you’re flying, angel.” You bite back a shriek as Tess’s voice comes from the direction of the kitchen. 

“Christ, you scared the hell out of me!” Your heart skips a beat as you reach over to the nightstand, pulling on the little chain that turns the lamp on. “Joel’s not even here, what are you doing?” You don’t like the idea of being alone with her, she doesn’t come around much anymore, you used to see her in the hall on her way here constantly, but after you moved in she stopped. 

You do your best not to flinch as she makes her way over to you, standing at the foot of the bed.

“I’m not here to hurt you, there’s no need for theatrics.” You hadn’t realized you were shaking so badly until she said it, it takes a conscious effort but you manage to stop it for the most part. “I’m just here to talk.”

“About what?” 

“About you and Joel.”

You don’t want to talk about that with Tess. You don’t want to talk to Tess at all, she frightens you and she knows it. 

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

“Don’t talk to me like I’m stupid.” This time when you flinch she hesitates. For a brief moment the facade of a woman who fears nothing drops, and you swear you see sympathy in her eyes. “Joel is dangerous, you need to be careful with him or you’re going to get hurt.”

Is that why she’s here? To try and break you up? 

“He won’t hurt me, he cares about me.” You wish you sounded more sure of yourself. 

“You’re right, at least for now.” She flips her pocket knife open, ever so carefully running the blade along the underside of her nails, scraping away any dirt or grime she so happens to find, you fight the urge to flinch again. When she finally looks back up at you she takes a moment, examining your expression as if this was an interrogation. “Being loved by him is the worst thing that could possibly happen to a girl like you.”

You can’t help but scoff, now look who’s being theatrical. “A girl like me?”

“Good, too good. And fragile.” She points at you with the blade before returning to her nails. “He’ll do anything to keep you safe, even if it means breaking you into tiny little pieces, just so you’ll fit in a box he can lock.” 

You’re about to call her a liar but you hesitate. “Why are you telling me this?”

“You deserve to know.”

“Okay, but why? You don’t even like me.”

“You wouldn’t be here if I didn’t like you.” 

Fair enough.

“I think you should go.” You don’t want to hear anything else. You don’t believe anything she’s saying and the entire conversation makes you feel sick. She doesn’t know anything about your relationship with him, and she clearly doesn’t know anything about Joel. He’d do anything for you, you don’t think you’ve ever been taken care of before you met him.  

“What do you know about glue traps?” She doesn’t make any effort to leave so you decide to just answer her with a sigh. 

“Like the ones you use to catch mice? I don’t know, Joel buys them sometimes.”

She points her knife in the direction of the corner of the room, it takes a moment for your eyes to adjust. Sure enough, in the corner of the room, peeking out from under his dresser, is the faint outline of something on the floor, you’d never noticed it before. 

“It’s the worst kind of way to catch a mouse.” She stands, walking across the room and peeling up the trap with the edge of her blade before snapping it shut and taking the edge of the trap between her fingers, dragging it across the floor to the middle of the room so you had a clear view of it. “They’ll do anything to get out.” The tip of her boot nudges the corner of the trap, now that it’s been dragged into the lamp light you can see exactly what she wanted to show you. Two things are in the bloody trap. A mouse, barely alive, based on the way its chest rises and falls, and something else. A caterpillar maybe? 

No. 

A leg. A bloody mouse leg, on the edge of the trap. 

“They’ll chew off their limbs, and peel off their own skin just to get out, the ones that manage to are lucky enough to bleed out somewhere else. The ones stuck in the trap though?” She nods down at the creature you now refuse to look at. “They’ve got it the worst. Suffocation, dehydration, the ones who try to peel off and can’t, bleed out, stuck in place.”   

With a sudden crunch, her boot slams down on the trap. You watch, slack jawed, as she peels it off the sole before tossing it in the bin in the corner. 

“I’d take a quick death over either of those.”

“I think you should leave. Now.” You try to sound authoritative but your voice trembles too much to sound anything but afraid. 

“I heard you got caught up in some FEDRA business yesterday.” She starts again but you’ve had enough.

“Tess.” You manage to have a bit of sterness this time in your tone but it doesn’t seem to affect her much. 

“Fine. I’ll leave. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.” You catch that sympathetic look one more time before she unlocks the door chain, twisting the doorknob before speaking one last time. “I noticed some of our inventory is missing, this is the only warning you’re gonna get about that. If you want shit like that just ask, I’m sure Joel would be more than happy to have another way to control you.” She doesn’t turn around when she says it, simply slamming the door and leaving. You have no clue what she’s talking about, but that isn’t the part of the conversation that sticks with you. All you can think about is that crunching sound. 

So you avoided her after that, writing off her words as an act of jealousy. 

Joel would never do anything to hurt you.

Of course you know better now. She was just like you, she had been in the glue trap herself when she tried to keep you from joining her, but you hadn’t listened, instead you’d fallen face first into Joel. And he wouldn't let you go without keeping some of you for himself.

i don't have a taglist anymore !! follow @lincolndjarinnotifs for updates on all fics !!

[cripplecharacters]

hello! so, i currently have an oc in the works. i dont have much for his character yet, and hes kind of a blank slate at the moment, however, whilst trying to develop him i had the idea to give him a disability; its something i dont do with my characters very often, and i feel like it could give some depth and realism to his character. however, i..... dont know where to really start with it? i have the vague idea that i think id like him to have crutches, so some sort of leg disability, but just going off that its been hard for me to find any condition that feels quite right. im unsure about making him an amputee either; seemingly the "go to" for anyone who wants to make a physically disabled character. i want to try and represent a disability thats less fetishized by the general public, and looking through this blog here its definitely apparent that a lot of people are tired of seeing basic half amputee characters with overly functional prosthetics; i wanna avoid that. sorry this has gotten a bit rambly, but basically what im asking is,, do you have advice for what i could use as just. a general starting point in this? im terribly uneducated and lost at the moment and id love some help. thank you :]

Hi!

It's great that you're interested in writing a disabled character (with care)! I'm always happy to see more writers/artists/creatives do that.

You mentioned wanting to give him crutches, which is cool! Mobility aid users in media make me happy. However, you mentioned crutches as meaning a leg disability, which isn't always the case — and while I don't have statistics on it, I believe that most crutch users do not use them for leg-only problems, and a lot of them have the not-so-fetishized conditions. Here are some suggestions of what you could give your character, which hopefully gives you some ideas. If you need, you can get back to us with a more specific question after you figure out what exactly your character has! :-) (smile)

Cerebral palsy — probably the most common reason for using crutches in non-elderly people, and the most common (physical) disability in younger people in general. If your character has diplegic (meaning lower limbs affected) CP, he could use crutches and if he has hemiplegic (one arm and one leg affected) CP, then he could use a single crutch or a cane. Cerebral palsy is generally extremely underrepresented when compared to how many people have it IRL! Just be aware that there is a lot of research involved just about the condition itself — multiple types (spastic/ataxic/dyskinetic), different kinds of body involvement, tons of different mobility aids and orthotics to learn about. There is also hereditary spastic paraplegia, which is not the same as CP but similar and progressive.

Spinal cord injury — the general assumption is that all people with spinal cord injuries are fully paralyzed below the neck or waist, and that's not the case. If your character has an incomplete SCI on any level or just a very low level injury, he could be using crutches or switch between a wheelchair and crutches. It's essential to research SCIs to have them be more than “legs don't work, but that's literally it”. SCI can come with severe nerve pain, spasticity, atrophy, and a lot of other things. Worth noting that spinal cord injury could be traumatic, but could also be congenital (spina bifida) or illness related (polio, transverse myelitis, spinal stroke, or cancer, for example). You could think that it's overrepresented in media, but SCI is generally just used as a “default condition” for why a character is in a wheelchair, and a lot of these representations are unfortunately very shallow.

Paralysis — in the monoplegic sense here. Much more rare than the rest of the things here, but your character could have a single paralyzed leg, largely due to nerve damage. Could be traumatic or illness-related (e.g., cancer, infection, or multiple sclerosis).

Stroke (and other traumatic/acquired brain injuries) — stroke can cause a million different symptoms and depending on what happens to your character exactly, he might need crutches! A big portion of stroke survivors deal with hemiplegia and could use a crutch on their non-affected side, for example. Some kinds of stroke might cause your character to have troubles with balance and require a mobility aid to not fall. Of course stroke will also cause other symptoms for your character (it wouldn't be too realistic to only have him have problems with his legs) for example speech issues, headaches, or seizures. Stroke can happen to anyone, and it wouldn't be weird to have a younger character with it. Very common in real life but very rarely represented in fiction.

Limb difference — you can definitely write a character with a limb difference or an amputation without fetishizing it! The main concern with the fetishization is the concept of the robotic limb that works just as well as or even better than a meat leg, and thus the character is “fixed”. But your character could just… not use a prosthetic. A lot of congenital amputees, people with limb differences, or with high level (above knee) amputations might do that. He could also have a leg length difference, which could cause him to need crutches (for example, Morteza Mehrzad has one of his legs significantly shorter after a pelvic injury, and he uses crutches among other mobility aids).

Chronic pain — very broad category for too many specific conditions to count. Neuropathy in the legs and/or lower back could be a reason for using crutches, for example. Unhealed, or poorly healed past injuries. Arthritis in knees or hips. Hypermobility that makes him unsteady or dislocate joints. Pain in bones or muscles where he can't fully weight-bear.

Gait disorders — another broad category (sorry). Your character could have problems with his gait and need aids for that. It could be caused by dyspraxia (I have it), ataxia, progressive muscular dystrophy (there is a lot of different types), Parkinson's disease, or a lot of other things! Could also be injury related.

And of course you could have multiple characters that are disabled to make sure that there is some variety :)

I hope that the above list gave you some ideas for your character :-) (smile) if you have more questions, feel free to send another ask

mod Sasza

[vendetta-ari]

Can you do angst? If you can can yo udo Vox x Angel Female Reader who just had a fight with Vox over something and unfortunately screamed at Reader by saying "I wish/hope you die which made Reader leave and after 3 weeks of reader being absent Vox happens to get almost killed in extermination day until Reader blocked the hit and dies in his arms after Angel Reader protected him and got the Exorcist Angel to go away or die

omg angst makes me so sad but this was certainly entertaining to write. sorry I took so long to get your request done!! I hope you enjoy <3

The slamming of your door woke you up from your nap, you groggily got up from the couch you were sleeping on to see Vox, visibly angry. “mm..what's wrong honey?-” you asked him. He'd been busy with work lately so you assumed it was just another one of Velvette and Valentino's shenanigans. You didn't know much about the demons that lived around here, after all you were an angel, and not just any angel, an exorcist.  you never liked the idea of extermination so you made friends with a few demons, specifically Vox, your boyfriend. Most would find your love disgusting and wrong, but you didn't really care, you would sneak into hell often to come visit him all the time. Vox had walked up to you and gave you a look as if he was mad at you, you didn't even do anything..right? “What the fuck is wrong with you?! Seriously, what is your godman problem? Are you mental or something?” 

Your eyes widened in shock, he never speaks to you like that, even when he's mad. “what are you talking about Vox??” 

“What am I talking about? don't play dumb, that shit doesn't work on me. I mean, really? y'know what? get the fuck out” He spoke with a nervous laugh, trying to hold himself back from doing something rash. “Vox I seriously don't know what I did- I'm sorry I-” your voice got all shaky before Vox cut you off from explaining yourself. “SHUT UP. I ALREADY TOLD YOU I WANTED YOU THE FUCK OUT MY HOUSE.”  he screamed so loud it terrified you. You shook your head and started grabbing a few things, you really didn't wanna argue with him. You felt your eyes getting all watery and you sniffled heading for the door. Before you left though, you heard Vox mumble something under his breath. 

“I hope you fucking die.” he spat out.

You quickly slammed the door behind you, you felt sick to your stomach. How could he say that about you? you loved him and this is how he repays you? you didn't even know what you did to make him this way.

A few weeks had past, while you usually would come visit Vox in hell every week, you assumed he didn't want to see you. And a part of you didn't want to see him either,  so you had stayed in heaven for weeks on end. Eventually extermination day came. you were never excited for it, but something about this time just made you more nervous and on edge. You ran around hell, pretending to kill demons. you never wanted this job, really. You always thought nobody really deserved to die. As you were thinking to yourself, you turned the corner and saw Vox. An exorcist stood above him, a spear pointed at his head. you needed to do something, anything, you couldn't just let him die. You ran at the speed of light and pushed the exorcist out of the way, she fell to the floor as you turned to Vox, urging him to run. The exorcist grabbed you by the collar and slammed you down on the floor, almost making you lose consciousness. she grabbed your wings and pulled, tearing them off clean as golden blood flowed down your back.  you screamed in horror and pain as she plunged a spear through your stomach before flying to kill some other demons. 

You coughed up blood looking at Vox, he was still there..he didn't run. He fell to his knees and grabbed you, he looked disheveled, tears at his clothing and a few cracks on his screen.

“oh god..o-oh my god… please dont die on me stay with me please stay I can't lose you. I'm so sorry please I didn't mean it, I don't want you dead.” He spoke quickly, stuttering after every word he spoke. Tears flowing down your face, you kissed him one last time, leaving a bloody mark on his screen you finally fell into unconsciousness, losing your breath and dying in his arms.

Hope you enjoyed reading, anon!!

(word count = 682)

-xoxo, Ari

[certainduckanchor]

PITIFUL part 1

pairings: gojo x reader

genre: angst

Disclaimer: Read at your own risk.

Gojo hate the fact that he's married already. He don't want to be tied with someone at the age of 28. He has so many plans for himself. He wants to be free. But here you are acting so sweet, kind, and timid in front of him, which is he hates the most. Why would you ever agree to be married to him? Is it because he came from prestigious clan? You want his money?

He don't even know you, where you from, or even your name, he don't give a damn. It was his parents and elders idea, practically thinking that it would be best if the strongest sorcerer get married and has heirs.

" why are you here? " he asked you look irritated. Everyday he always asked you that question. Thinking why are you living together.

" because im you wife." you said softly. You heard him took a deep breath. You didn't bother to look at him because you know he hates you. Every single thing about you hates him, well you can't blame. The strongest sorcerer suddenly get married to someone like you. Someone who is far from his status.

" wife my ass! Are you really that stupid and pathetic?" he mocked. Trying to make you mad.

Everyday is like this since you two got married. It was so sudden that no one knew. It was a simple wedding celebration just you and Gojo's clan.

He also made it clear that no one should know that you're married together. Even in school, he specifically told you to stay away from him and you agree. You respect his decision, after all your life is meaningless anyway. You don't want to burden him.

" call me what you want, Satoru. But I don't need to answer you." you simply said not bothering to look at him.

He grabbed your arm which made you look at him. He looks dangerous. He's blue eyes is piercing through your body. It made you shiver.

" what do you want woman?! My money? My body? You want heirs?! Tell me and I'll fuck you right here and now!"

" let me go." you whispered. You don't want to start a fight with him.

" what did you say?!"

" let me go Satoru..." you warned.

" what if I don't? What can you do? You're nothing but a weak woman, pathetic, stupid, bit--"

You slapped him so hard. His eyes widened in disbelief, what you did boils him.

" I-i'm sorry, I-i didn't mea--" you tried to touch his face.

" how fucking dare you!" he grabbed your arm. You cried in pain. It's like he'll break your arm.

" S-satoru please.. l-let me go. It hurts. Please! Please! Just let me go. I'll do anything you want!" your begging. You tried to calm him down. Suddenly he stop, grinning at you. This is what he likes, he likes you to beg for him. He wants you to realized that marrying him is a wrong decision.

" get out of this house. I don't want to see your face." you nod and he leaves. If this is what he wants, I'll give it to him.

You packed your things. Wondering where you will stay the night. Hotel? it's expensive. You dont have much money, even if Gojo is your husband you never touch what's his. So you're only living in your salary. You decided to stay the night in your dorm.

Just a little. You just have to endure everything in this life.

- ff -

" yn-sama. you're late. " the maid bowed at you. She gives you a robe.

You look at the door infront of you. You thought you will finally escape from them after marrying the person they trully want but you can't. You're so sick of them, but whenever Gojo sees you you can't help but feel bad for him. You really don't want this to happened - to ruin his life.

You entered the hell, this was hell from you ever since you're young.

" yn we've been waiting for you." it was your mother. You bowed to them.

" I'm sorry.. there was something i nee--"

" i don't give a damn. So how's your married life with the strongest sorcerer?" she asked.

Every month, every last friday of the month. You were told to report from them about what it's like to live with the strongest sorcerer.

" it was great mother. he's so powerful and a kind person." you lied, still bowing to them. You feel sick, every month you have to make an excuse just to please them.

" that's good to hear. how about heirs? are you pregnant now?" your father asked.

This is their plan, to get you married from the strongest sorcerer, have his money and give birth to him. It was all their selfish desire.

" no father.. Satoru is so busy being a sorcerer and clan leader." you bite your lower lip.

" what?! you're married for 5 months already still no child?" he looks at you angry. Cursing you because for him it's your fault. You mother who was sitting beside him looks angry too.

" why don't you seduce him! Use your fucking mind! We want heirs now!" he shouts at you.

You silently clenched your fist. You're tired from this. Tired from your life. Tired from everything. You just want to die.

" I'll do my best next time father." you whispered.

" you better be or else you know what will happen to you!"

Suddenly the door opened, it was the maids. You know the drill what will happen next. They will beat the shit out of you at the basement.

You let them drag you, you didn't bother to squirm. Hoping this will be the last, hoping you will not survive from this. No one will really cares if you died here, even your husband who dispise you the most.

They lock you up for 2 hours. Whipping and beating your body. You didn't make a sound nor cried. You felt numb, growing up from these beatings made you strong enough not to cry.

After beating the shit out of you. You just dress like nothing happened. Still wondering why you didn't died today. You were used to this.

Is this the purpose of my life? I just wanted to be happy. But why is this happening? Why do I have to endure everything? Is it too much to ask?

When you arrive at your dorm. You locked yourself crying. Everything hurts. You're tired from everything. Maybe it's better if you killed yourself now. That's it. You'll end this suffering.

You stared at the mirror. Smiling at your reflection. Reminiscing your childhood trauma until Gojo Satoru entered your useless life. Gojo was right. Who wants to gets married to a woman like me? A woman who looks stupid and pathetic. A woman who's weaker than him. I'm just a bug in his life, a woman who ruined his life.

You drive yourself to your shared apartment. Satoru was there, for sure. Today you will end ties with him. You're finally giving him the freedom he deserves.

When you arrived at your apartment, you heard a moan coming from your bedroom. Not a surprise anymore.

" Satoru..." you called. His eyes widened and he immediately cover his body together with the woman he's fucking.

" what the hell! why are you here?" he angrily said.

" I'm sorry.. " you started. " Sorry for ruining your life. Sorry because I agreed to marry you. You're right, I'm just a pathetic and stupid woman. I don't hate you actually. Thank you and sorry for everything. "

He was stunned. This is so sudden. The woman in your bed looks confuse too.

" I'm cutting everything we had. Don't worry I'm still keeping your secrets. I wish you a happy life. You deserve so much. " you smiled for the last time. You bowed at him leaving him in the bedroom stunned. He can't believe you did that.

You genuinely smiled to him. Gojo Satoru swears that this is the first time you smiled at him.

You went back to your dorm happily.

Later that night..

They found your body in your dorm, lifeless, full of scars, bruise and wounds. The sound of their cries echoes through the hallway of Jujutsu High. Their beloved teacher yn is gone.

No proofreading.

P.S. thank youuu @kawaiivillainess98 for suggesting a title ❤️

[strawb3rrystar]

Please,poly!maradures x reader where they get hurt in quidditch, like broke something, fractured, i dont really care, just something not really serious, but not something like a scratch or smth, ty!

-🇧🇻

Magic kisses.

Pairing: Poly! Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, James Potter x GN! Reader

Warnings: Mentions limbs being broken, but nothing too extreme, reader is a chaser in this tho!!

Word count: 623

✰Masterlist

Sirius Black: Broken wrist

Reacting to you getting hurt -> You fell off of your broom and broke your wrist. Nothing too bad, it would heal in a few months. But Sirius freaks out, thinking that you're going to die or something. He might break one of his own bones just to be with you in the infirmary. The others think he's being overdramatic, but Sirius believes he's being perfectly reasonable. Is the first one to write on your cast and he insists on decorating it with stickers.

Reacting to him getting hurt -> He broke his wrist, trying to impress you, but you weren't impressed when he ended up in the infirmary. He was whiny and complaining the whole time he was in there. You're the only one he lets touch him after he leaves the infirmary. He insists that you do stuff for him, even the stuff he can do it himself. He can get a little annoying, sure, but all he wants is for someone to care for him. And he deserves it too.

Remus Lupin: Fractured rib

Reacting to you getting hurt -> You fractured your rib. Which is definitely not ideal, but it could be worse. Your partners, specifically Remus, did not have the same thoughts. He refuses to leave your side when you're in the infirmary. Leaving James and Sirius to have to drag him out every night. And then he's pouting all night in his bed. He'll barely sleep and just worries about you all night and day. When you're healed enough to be moved back into your dorm, he'll do everything for you. Will practically be your personal maid, even if you ask him not to. He can't help himself, though.

Reacting to him getting hurt -> He fractured his rib during one of his monthly transformations. Of course you see him get hurt all the time because of it so you know how to react accordingly. You hold his hand while you two have long chats about your day in class. You'll do most of the talking while Remus lays there and soaks in every word. He gets very lonely while classes are going on, so he'll ask one of you, or all of you to eat lunch with him. I feel like he spends so much time in the infirmary that he picks up a hobby that he only does while he's in there. Like crochet. He might crochet himself a special blanket to use in the infirmary because he has nothing better to do when you're not around.

James Potter: Broken finger

Reacting to you getting hurt -> You were trying to catch the quaffle during a match, but you caught it in a weird way and broke your finger. It was more of a minor inconvenience rather than a major problem. Which is why James won't let you play quidditch until your finger fully heals. He goes on about how if you were reckless enough to get your finger broken, then you deserve punishment for it. But basically he's very much an asshole and babies you the entire time, even though you're fine.

Reacting to him getting hurt -> It was honestly no surprise to you guys when he got hurt. Of course you visit him in the infirmary because you're a good partner. Like Sirius, James complains a lot, and for no reason. He'll pretend to be in more pain than he actually is, just so he can get out of classes for a few days. Wants you to do everything for him he thinks he can't do it himself. Might guilt trip you a little with the fact that he can't play quidditch until he's healed and you can.

Star's note's -> Guess who's my favorite to write (very hard addition)

(Thank you, 🇧🇻 anon, for requesting!) (Requests are open!)

Taglist -> @elmolovesw33d @helendeath @prettorett @ellae-ngel  @smutnyrobocikwrakiecie | Join the taglist

[electricsynthesis]

i think keith's antisocial tendencies are due to a combination of factors. firstly and most importantly, i think there is an inherent alienation to keith, one that is dual pronged: a) genetic, hereditary autism and b) being an alien. identifying where one ends and the other begins is a pointless endeavor because they both inform his strange behavior (in a "nature" way, as opposed to a "nurture" way)

but here is where the wires get even more crossed. because i think keith was raised by an uber paranoid hermit who chainsmokes all day. like. i think he used only 100~ year old analogue tech that couldnt be traced. they only ever went into town to buy food and keith wasnt allowed to talk to people. texas kogane would leave for days on end and leave keith alone and not tell him why or where he was going (he was going to go bitchfight with iverson).

my interpretation of daddy kogane (or, as we used to call him, texas kogane) is deeply specific and not particularly canon compliant. i think daddy kogane was a military man who, by chance one day, discovered an alien fascist insurrectionist crashlanded in the middle of fucking nowhere. i think he, through knowing her, came to know that the garrison a) knew about the blue lion and b) therefor knew about aliens and c) made and will continue to make pains to keep both of those things secret. so he did what any normal person would do, and defected from the garrison to live alone in the desert with his alien girlfriend.

then bam! he has a son. uh oh! after a complicated pregnancy that almost killed her his alien girlfriend abandoned him in the middle of the night to go continue to be an alien insurrectionist. now texas kogane is daddy kogane and he needs to make sure nobody nefarious finds out about his HALF ALIEN CHILD. this would be easier if his half alien child didnt resemble his mother in so many ways its kindof terrifying .

so obviously he makes keith stay either inside or in the desert all the time, homeschools him, and tells him to never ever ever talk to strangers and/or leave his ears uncovered. If They Ask About Your Eye-Color, Punch Them. your mother isnt dead but shes gone and never coming back. She left you because she doesnt love you. Dont tell anyone where we live. Do not speak in public unless i tell you you can. put up a brick WALL between you and the rest of the world, okay keithy boy? other people are NOT trustworthy and they WILL hurt you.

baby keith: why will they hurt me

daddy kogane: dont worry about it

baby keith: will they hurt other people

daddy kogane: nope just you

and this was obviously really good for keiths young developing mind and socialization and certainly didnt give him lifelong paranoia and intimacy issues

[onismdaydream]

HIIII!!!!! it's me again, the most obsessed and horniest yuji lover!♡🎀

Didn't have anything to do today so I have been on tumbler looking for any yuji content I can get my hands on :p! And I am just OBSESSED with headcanons, specifically yuji as your boyfriend! AHH!!!

Like, how would he first tell you he likes you? How long would it take? Ugh, now me personally, I can only imagine having a movie night alone, megumi and nobara canceled ofc because they don't want to watch whatever bs movie yuji picks :(. And then so there you are, Both cuddled up on the couch, a little to close together, and he is just.. so flustered! But why? It's not like he likes you or anything! Well, turns out he does and he JUST realized. So when the two protagonists in the romantic comedy yall are watching suddenly confess, he can't hold it back! It just blurts out of his mouth..which would be a bad thing, until you reveal you like him back!♡

Idk, I just find it soo cute, and honestly totally something he would do. 🤷‍♀️. But then like, first date? Would he take you to eat, the movies, or maybe to the mall?

Now this one, I'm not too sure, to many options and I love them all, but he would DEFINITELY make it romantic and cute ><!

Okay, but now like one of the MILLION dollar questions is.... how would he act on your period!

I'm sorry, but every single small headcanon, or fic of how ANYBODY would treat you while ur on your period is straight up Crack to me. I NEED IT. I love the wholesome headcanons. 😔🎀!

I think.. he would notice that your acting different, he cares about you after all so he notices every little thing. So when he sees you look uncomfy or maybe rubbing you hand on your thigh, trying to relieve some pain.. he asks you what's wrong! And when you tell him, I feel like he would IMMEDIATELY do whatever you want to make you feel better. LITERALLY.

"Oh. Really? Is there anything I can do?"

Chocolate? In ur hands the second you ask. Meds for the pain, he's got them? Blanket? YES! cuddles? Okay, is that even a question? OBVI!!!

Second million dollar question is how/what he would do yalls first time. Last headcanon i said was crack, but this one is like all drugs COMBINED. I like to think it would be a makeout session gone to far..

That movie you played has a sex scene, which, really doesn't bother you or him.. or it usually doesn't. Today though, a small thought forms in his brain. How would you look? Sound? Smell? Taste? Feel..? And then it's akward, because you're so close, and his hand just starts massaging your thigh, and he has to kiss you! Which at this point in the relationship isn't like super surprising, I'm sure yuji loves to kiss you. But this one feels different, yujis face is just soo pink, and he almost can't keep his hands off of you! Cupping one cheek while pushing you down on the couch with the other, so he's on top.. then one of his knees pushes your thighs apart.. 🧎‍♀️

You know the rest.

But I also like to think maybe yall are making out, you on top of his lap, but you can't stop squirming! And it really isn't on purpose, you swear.. but yuji can only take so much, And eventually he can't hide his moans anymore!

Yeah idk I feel like humping n shit, maybe cummin in his pants is SO hot. UGH

I don't think it would really be planned..😋🎀

Also, I feel like he would be super flustered and kinda embarrassed with oral. In the sense that, he could spend hours between your thighs (we all know he's a munch), but the first time you ask to suck him off, he probably turns into a whiny mess.

WHICH BRINGS ME TO THIS. Like- I'm sorry, but no matter how dominant or kinky people make yuji, which I won't lie I love, you CANNOT tell me this man doesn't whine or moan your name. You simply can't. LOOK AT HIM.!!! 🧎‍♀️🙏

I just, have so many thoughts and headcanons.. l can't control myself yuji headcanons are literally my drug. I love the subby ones, the Dom ones, fluff ones, smut ones... I DONT CARE. If a yuji headcanon exists, I WILL read it.

Omg, I have so much more but I have already made this soo long. I honestly just wanted to ask if you would ever make your own yuji head canons? Maybe you already have and I can't find it.. BUT LET ME KNOW!

I just HAVE to know what headcanons are floating around in that wonderful brain of yours!♡

Also so glad to see you liked my past rant♡♡!!!

I really hope you have a good day/night!!!! Make sure ur taking care of urself babes bc I can't survive without you><! 🎀

(Also sorry for any typos or whatever, this was 100% rushed because my fingers physically cannot keep up with all the thoughts I have of yuji.)

With a heart full of love, and a brain full of yuji,

-your horniest yuji lover!♡🎀

hi lovely <333

gonna put this under a read more so it doesn't take up too much space!

oooh headcanons are fun!! i don't post a ton, not for any particular reason, i just seem to gravitate towards snippets in established relationships.

omg yuji just blurting it out :(( what a sweetheart! he is mortified but i feel like he would try his best to play it cool, though his face feels like it's on fire from how flushed it is!! but then you tell him that you also like him and he visibly relaxes SO much and has the biggest smile on his face and he immediately wants to hug you and hold you close <3

i think for first dates, he would lean towards movies/mall, this way it's still semi-public. it's not that he doesn't want to spend time with you alone (he wants to soooo badly), but i think he thinks he has to take it slow and be sweet and gentlemanly. like he was definitely taught the "proper way" to court a girl by his grandfather, so he holds doors open for you and pulls out your chair and brings you flowers and stuff and its just so sweet of him idk. he might hesitate a bit for pda stuff, but once you give him the okay, he is constantly holding your hand or wrapping an arm around you!! maybe even asking for a kiss!! (side note: i think yuji gets all pouty when you forget to give him a goodbye kiss later in the relationship)

yes!! yuji would ABSOLUTELY be doing anything and everything for you as soon as he notices any symptoms or side effects. he's also the type to track your period on his phone lol just so he can prepare and give you some chocolate or whatever else might help! he is just like. the nicest and most caring boyfriend ever <3333

OOOH i love love love both of those for first time ughhh!! i have a fic i've been meaning to work on more but i'm just a little too fried to write much of anything, anyway its a dry humping fic with yuji because i just know he loves the feeling of it ! he can't even get embarrassed from cumming in his pants because it feels so good and he likes how dirty it is (he's a bit of a perv :3). BUT i also love the idea that he just can't help himself and he's so wrapped up in the moment that he doesn't even notice that his knee is pressing against your core... like he's licking into your mouth and grinding against you and you have to pull away because holy shit this feels great and you want more!! and it's kinda rushed and messy, barely taking clothes off but you both need each other so bad!!! (he makes up for it by taking his time with you for round 2 lol)

oh what i would GIVE to suck his dick... yuji is 100% super vocal in my opinion, like he cannot be quiet, which is why his mouth is always on you when he's fucking you! he's always kissing or biting or talking, so when you're sucking him off, he is left to just talk and make so much noise. whining and praising you because it feels so good to have your mouth wrapped around him <3 like imagine sitting between his strong thighs, looking up at him, and his eyes are half lidded, mouth open as he breaths heavily, tongue darting out to lick at his lips, muscles flexing as he tries not to force your head further down or buck his hips up.... ugh he's so hot...

i'd love to write more headcanons and other things for yuji!! its just a matter of me getting inspired or having the energy right now. work has been super draining for me so its been a little difficult to get my brain working lol but im hoping it'll pass in a few weeks

thank you for sharing these with me!!! i love hearing other people's thoughts and headcanons like its just so fun to see what's similar and whatnot :3

[the-s1lly-corner]

Maybe TADC Characters X Reader who loves gossip?

TADC cast x reader who loves to gossip!

Okok I know I have a track record of saying ik only goinv to answer a few asks then go to bed but I think I might actually

Go to bed soon

Im still feeling unwell and tbh its been getting worse; what was originally stuffy noses and sore throat is now that + fatigue and headaches (but no more sore throat!! Yay!)

Very bad sinus pain though

So uh uh

Only a handful of requests tonight then I might try to sleep

Very short since I'm sick + im on mobile + not many ideas are happening here <\3

CAINE:

Now caine looooooves to gossip, not even as a malicious thing he just likes speculating what the silly people in this circus do when hes not around

I like to think that caine definitely would play match maker should a circus member fall in love with someone, so he asks you for any and all details and secrets

POMNI:

Probably uses your habit of gossiping to try to find an exit. I mean you have a lot of into on other people, what's to say you dont have info on other things? Its worth a shot, at least in her eyes

Thus leads to her uncomfortable sitting next to you while you spew a bunch of stuff that happened before she joined the circus

RAGATHA:

Definitely on the side of "I dont like talking about people behind their back especially if its something petty or none of my business"

Obviously venting is a different story but this ask is specifically about gossip

I don't think she would like gossiping that much, other peoples business isnt her business you know?

Politely asks you to not involve her

JAX:

Jax probably has lied about another circus member before. Harmless rumors, of course, ones that are totally outrageous and only the more gullible would believe

So you two make a powerful duo, when we also take his pranks and jokes into account...

KINGER:

I think he likes some basic gossip. Like a "I heard (x) said (y) to (z), can you believe that" kind of gossip

But does it count as gossip if hes just relaying something most of the other crew knows?

Probably not but given his state of mind half the time can you really blame him?

ZOOBLE:

I took she would occasionally engage on gossip

Is it still considered gossip if its just shit talking, though? Because boy, I really do headcannon that zooble does NOT like jax in particular

Honestly you two can probably sit down and talk about stuff for HOURS

GANGLE:

Very awkward about it, similarly to ragatha I dont think she would be too big of a fan of gossiping about others

Gangle strikes me at the type to keep to herself and mind her own business tbh, not much else to say

Kind of just quietly let's you talk, very obviously doesnt want to engage in the gossip

[katiifaestarot]

The reading today is: What is this Painful Lesson in Your Life Trying to Teach You? ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

☆ im not going into specifics; but focus on the first situation(s) OR lesson(s) that came TO YOUR MIND when you read that question!

☆This reading is very short and straight-to-the-point today! 🥹😭

about me + why i am a tarot reader

** I AM NOT A MEDICAL OR HEALTH PROFESSIONAL; PLEASE USE YOUR OWN JUDGEMENT AND DISCERNMENT TO DETERMINE IF YOU NEED OR WANT TO SEEK PROPER HELP OR TREATMENTS FOR YOURSELF OUTSIDE OF TUMBLR OR SOCIAL MEDIA!!

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There are 4 piles and you will be picking through the Prism Oracle Cards in the picture right below this text!!! Feel free to look at the specific photos for each pile too!!

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✨️🧚🏽‍♀️please choose your pile and may your intuition and inner knowing guide you to the pile with the energy most suited for you and most suited to help you along your path at this current point in time, no matter what that looks like🧚🏽‍♀️✨️

PILE 1- Protection

PILE 2- Strength

PILE 3- Peace

PILE 4- Caution

** sometimes ( most of the time ) i will pick up on multiple energies that need attention or want to be expressed during the reading so i ASK YOU TO UNDERSTAND THIS DURING THOSE TYPES OF READINGS:

depending on how the reader(YOU) chooses to look at the situation or however the situation resonates for the reader(YOU) and because this is a general reading;

⚠️you HAVE to be able to use your better discernment + better judgement skills to fully absorb the message and be able to do the necessary work to keep you on track for the future you WANT for yourself⚠️

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OKAY PILE 1:

This current lesson is trying to teach you to protect your happiness//peace of mind so you STOP getting distracted by outside negativity that stops you from achieving your passions/goals/dreams/manifestations/plans/etc--

•what can YOU do to get rid of excess negativity and start protecting your happiness and going after your passion(s) again?

•what are your passion(s) ?

•what can you do more of that brings you joy? (BE SELFISH WHEN ANSWERING THIS ONE!)

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OKAY PILE 2:

this current lesson is trying to teach you to how to rely on yourself and trying to teach you mental fortitude so YOU stop having anxiety about the material world in general!!! ( not just monetarily )

•What can YOU do to help yourself right now? How can you feel more stable + secure within yourself and your immediate environment?

•What are you truly afraid of happening, and is it something you can work on or fix in your current reality?

-If yes, then why are you worried?

-If no, then why are you worried?

Focus on building trust within yourself before jumping to other ships and helping them stay afloat. This is about YOU, not anyone else. Dont escape!!!!!!

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OKAY PILE 3:

This current lesson is trying to teach you to CREATE a safe space for yourself and for your passions and ideas SO they can thrive and come to fruition.

You need this alone time and isolation period to nurture you and your passions!

•what fears/doubts are currently holding me back from chasing/achieving my passions?

•what can i do to create a more safe and spacious environment for myself AND working on my passions?

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OKAY PILE 4:

this current lesson is trying to teach you to move slow but with trust in yourself or your faith!

Sometimes, slow and steady wins the race, and even quicker movement(s) can happen when slowness is appreciated and trusted! 🐌🐢

•how can you trust yourself more (or again)?

•what would help you keep showing up for yourself in healthy ways?

•contemplate the tortoise and the hare fable.

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I sincerely hope you received what you needed and released what you don't !! See you again soon!! Take it easyyy and just breathe and fllooowwww!!! you got this! byyeee~🧚🏽‍♀️✨️

**please let me know how I'm doing in any way you can! that is the easiest way to support me and also a good way to signal to me that I should keep going + any helpful advice from the community would be welcomed and appreciated because i've been off tumblr for about 5years+ now and its all different n' shizz 🥺 🥹 🙏🏼

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**ONCE AGAIN, I AM NOT A MEDICAL OR HEALTH PROFESSIONAL; PLEASE USE YOUR OWN JUDGEMENT AND DISCERNMENT TO DETERMINE IF YOU NEED OR WANT TO SEEK PROPER HELP OR TREATMENTS FOR YOURSELF OUTSIDE OF TUMBLR OR SOCIAL MEDIA!!

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[okerum]

people who put all their energy into hating teresa annoy me a lot, tbh. of course, people can have their own opinions, but its when people go out of their way to rip on her at EVERY CHANCE they get without spending even a SECOND to try to understand her or put themselves in her shoes.

i highkey hate the way the movies portrayed her, but in them, she placed the wellbeing of the entire world above her own. she explicitly asked that her friends NOT be harmed-- and i think blaming HER for the harm that minho faced even more than janson or ava (the fully grown adults who hold the power) is silly and extremely misplaced. there wasn't really ANY good option in her shoes-- choose herself and her friends and let the world die around her, BECAUSE of her, or choose the world around her while letting her friends continue to suffer, also because of her. there is no winning for her. she wanted to help people-- she thought that if she made a deal with ava, she could help people while minimizing the harm to her friends. and once more to emphasize-- she is 16. she is a child, and i dont believe in the movies she even HAS 16 years of memories to help her make good decisions. she was told by WCKD that she could help people, and that is ultimately what she cared about the most. WCKD, and more specifically ava and janson, were the ones who lied to her, manipulated her, and misled her. and since the cure WAS possible in the movies, her actions were even more justified! it's so weird to me how people act like she was so heartless and like she purposely hurt people when we see time and time again that she cares DEEPLY for everyone. you'd have to watch the films with your eyes closed not to see it.

and in the books, (i only read half of tfc so bear with me if i'm missing info) she only betrayed thomas, she warned him beforehand, and she spent the entire rest of the series trying to make up for it to the point where she sacrificed herself to save him. thomas was her EVERYTHING. she betrayed him because she thought he'd die otherwise. she would do ANYTHING to avoid that-- she'd decieve him, she'd hit him, she'd sacrifice herself for him. not to mention, since her memories weren't swiped, she was still entirely under WICKED's thumb-- the YEARS, the DECADE they spent grooming her and manipulating her into trusting them, doing their bidding, the lies they told her, are still affecting her. she's still 16. she's still a child. once again, to blame her for her actions that she was specifically groomed into by WICKED, instead of WICKED itself, is extremely misguided and a little gross to me, honestly.

in the movies, teresa wanted to help as many people as she could even at the cost of her friends. in the books, teresa wanted nothing more than to keep her lover as safe as possible, even at the cost of his trust and any possibility of love between them. she's simulataneously selfish and selfless, kind and cruel. she's all too willing to give up her own wants in order to reach her ultimate end goal, all too willing to put people in harm's way to prevent any further pain. once you look at her for just a few seconds, if you try even an ounce to see her character for what it is, you'll see a child who was put in a position where she had to make a decision no child should ever have to make. no child should have to choose between their friends or the world. no child should have to choose between their lover and themself. and no child should be blamed for their actions that are a result of grooming enacted by a number of fully grown adults who understand fully what they're doing.

if you don't like her, again, that's okay!! she made bad decisions and she hurt people in the process. but before u start talking down on her, before u proclaim your hate at any chance you get, think for a second about how she could've ended up there. and dont insult people for liking her. because on tiktok, at least, people are really bad about that Dx

[cycle-hit]

analysis of potential negative aspects of mahiru's boyfriend

i've seen a lot of people curious about why there are of interpretations of such. so. here we go (as a disclaimer, i'm writing this under the pretense that everyone already knows the lengths of which mahiru was not great in their relationship, so that wont be talked about as much as the flaws of mahiru's boyfriend. also, please keep in mind that focusing on his flaws IS the point of this post- but still try to remember that, in the end, mahiru's boyfriend is still very much human! even if i dont appear to be the most sympathetic towards him in text, lend as much credit to him as you deem fit)

1. Lack of succinct communication

the very first lyric in this is how to be in love with you is this-

she appears to be asking her boyfriend, or at least we can assume it's her boyfriend shes speaking to, if he knows what love is- because she's never experienced it herself before. there's other cases of this!

more lyrics from the beginning of this how to be in love with you, mahiru still appears to be unsure. she's constantly asking him for validation, to confirm this is what it's supposed to be like. and from the love is (un)dead voice drama:

"I thought it was fate. He said it was, too."

we can gather from this that his response to mahiru's questions was likely always the validation mahiru was craving- if he was uncomfortable before or in the beginning of the relationship with mahiru's behavior, he neglected to communicate it with her until the validation had already had a severe impact on her- when mahiru believes, firmly, that negative behavior is "love".

from this voice drama, mahiru also says it's her first relationship, but says nothing about her boyfriend's own experience. she didn't know if the relationship was good or not, but her boyfriend, with potentially more relationship experience, tells her that it's fate. he agrees with her. he doesnt properly communicate with mahiru at this point.

communication is important in a relationship. but he's not entirely to blame for this, even if he DOES have more experience with relationships. it can be hard to communicate with someone you "love" that they're hurting you, or he could've not even processed mahiru's actions/behaviors as uncomfortable at the time. however, it's also unfair to put all the blame on mahiru here- because it's extremely likely he wasn't even telling her what was hurting him. she asks him, again and again in the form of "what do you think?" "is this love?" because she doesn't know if something is wrong or not. and if he just keeps affirming that it's fine- how is she supposed to?

however, this communication does seem to change at close to the end of the relationship in "i love you"- he finally stops validating mahiru.

we can assume at this point he finally started telling mahiru that their "love" is unhealthy, but at this point- far too late, and far too little. this is where mahiru indeed shoulders a lot of blame, but you have to remember that he kept enabling mahiru's behaviors until this point as well. they've both managed to stick themselves into something they don't know how to get out of.

"If you're that kind (!!!) to me, you could die as well." (this is how to be in love you vs love is mine)

what's interesting though is- is this what directly caused mahiru's boyfriend to commit suicide? because he felt trapped? or was there more to it? is it possible he also felt guilt/regret about his own actions in their relationship? why? let's find out! onto the next point!

2. "Matching pain"

another concept that mahiru emphasises in her song lyrics is being in pain, or being hurt, even before what happened to her in trial 2.

(this is how to be in love with you)

(i love you)

specifically, mahiru is implying that they are both in pain. that not only is her boyfriend in pain or hurt, but she is too. there's also the "they're both feeding each other the cake" symbolism- they are both in pain. it's matching. as mahiru says,

it's a claim of responsibility from both of them. we tightly bound up the happiness and suffocated it. it has always been both of them, together, at fault for what's been done.

as a less presumptuous analysis than what i'm going to say below this section- mahiru's boyfriend was likely, at minimum, at fault for enabling mahiru's love and affirming her when he shouldn't have, and failing to communicate to her that he was in pain- he takes the blame of being the one who neglected to actually make mahiru aware of what she was doing, even when she asked. to the point she become reliant on his validation. it's not just mahiru's fault that their relationship turned out the way it did.

it is also worth noting that, in this is how to be in love with you, mahiru is also stuck in the bird cage, not just her boyfriend. in "i love you", both of their clothes are tattered. they are always suffering together.

it's why mahiru repeatedly states in her songs lyrics that it was "we", "us". not just her, and not just him. if this is all what happened, both of their actions are completely understandable- it is human to make mistakes, or be flawed, or to fail to properly tell people things.

now, onto the section that a lot agree is more of a reach (and is not really a main point of this post)-

(cw for implication of physical abuse under the cut vvvv)

3. Milgram occasionally seems to imply that Mahiru's boyfriend could have physically abused her.

theres a bit of evidence to suggest that mahiru is completely under the belief that "pain", or even just suffering negative feelings, equals love. to mahiru, that IS love.

she refers to being in love as "overheating" together, which isn't particularly a comfortable state to be in. she calls love a "landmine" in her first voice drama and that it "explodes". in i love you, there's a lot more of this!

every time she speaks of love, or even "happiness", mahiru invokes violent imagery, or even death. it could just be the fact that she's seen her boyfriend hang himself that causes this- but it's definitely. interesting. why does mahiru believe that suffering is love? why did her boyfriend keep "affirming" that "yes, this is love" with the new knowledge (to us) that mahiru's believes that being hurt is love? was he just unaware? if something is repeatedly making mahiru question what love is, or if this is even love- how did she come to such a conclusion that being hurt, or to be suffering, is to be loved? well!

it's entirely possible that, beyond mahirus perceptions of him emotionally hurting her, mahiru's boyfriend was physically hurting her as well.

in this is how to be in love with you, the magazine articles before mahiru confessing are perfectly neat- afterwards, any text after day 8 begins to become visibly "disordered", day 8, coincidentally, is the day mahiru successfully confesses to him! while i dont think this is particularly telling of abuse, on day 10 we get our first interesting tidbit from mahiru-

she's disappointed that he hasn't actually noticed any of the effort that she's put into her appearance! which isnt that telling, but definitely something that makes me raise my eyebrow a bit.

day 12 is our next eyebrowing raising moment- mahiru goes to his house, but-

she doesn't remember much. the same symptoms mahiru presents with in trial 2- she can't remember kotoko beating her up. she only knows because the people around her have told her. then, we have these lyrics from her first mv!

while all of these are horrifying to think about the implications of in relation to mahiru's boyfriend maybe not being the best, the one of interest for my next point here is this one!

mahiru doesnt let people know when she's hurt. she pretends she's a "good girl", that nothing hurts her, that everything is fine (which probably wasnt helping communication issues talked about at the beginning of this post) even in trial two.

there is. many, MANY concerning things about mahiru in her trial two voice drama when you look at it under the lens of "was mahiru's boyfriend physically abusive?"

when shes being praised, she immediately tumbles- i imagine its both because of exertion and because it could remind her of her boyfriend's affirmations. furthermore- this is the power of love. to not resent anyone in this kind of situation.

because mahiru likes people who work hard, she's going to accept this horrible pain too. jesus christ. this also falls into the very interesting category of kotoko's attack and mahiru's reaction to it- first off, during the attack. why was fuuta being attacked so easily noticed, but mahiru's...wasnt? i've always interpreted it as an indicator of mahiru's tendency to hide her pain and "accept" it- maybe mahiru didn't make any noise at all.

and then, mahiru's opinions on kotoko-

(ive hit the image limit, but in love is undead mahiru says "Kotoko-chan's acts aren't a problem, either. I think she's fighting for her own cause as well. So I don't blame her. Because I also think that I...that my love isn't wrong." in her interrogation questions, she says "At least, I don't hold a grudge [against Kotoko]. It was for something non-negotiable after all.")

she dismisses what kotoko did to her so...easily. she, quite literally, would have died because of kotoko- and she just...says that it's fine. that it was for something "non-negotiable", that kotoko is "fighting for her own cause". that kotoko "thought it couldn't be helped". and apparently that's fine to mahiru. she accepts this pain just because she "likes people who work hard". because "it couldn't be helped". this theory, especially from my own perspective, is a reach- but a lot of mahiru's behaviours that i've mentioned here stand out to me enough to make me worry- there's also the fact that, when es touches her-

mahiru is so vague about what the "it" is. and while i'm aware this is just how japanese is usually written-

it makes her remember how "it" hurt.

tl:dr: mahiru and her boyfriend are both equally at fault for how their relationship went, with the most positive view of her boyfriend being that he takes some of the blame for it because of his inability to communicate with mahiru/assert his boundaries or if hes uncomfortable to her.

sources for translations: 1 2

[cripplecharacters]

hi! a friend of mine has recently told me a bunch of stuff about how i could include some disabled characters in my short stories (i write hurt/comfort for the record) and what they'd like to see more of.

something on the list was "[disabled people] have access to certain medical supplies that normally wouldn't be accessible." google isn't being super helpful as it's a pretty vague statement. can you give me some examples of this? would it be syringes and needles? or certain medication that's easy to use with malicious intent? (also for the record, they were specifically asking if i could write more disabled characters doing the hurting instead of being victims of it, since that tends to be an underrepresented category). i dont even know where to start researching since there's so many types of disabilities, so any help would be hugely appreciated!

Hello,

Prescriptions open up a world of medical supplies that the public would have to jump through major hoops to access or wouldn't be able to access at all. For example, epinephrine auto-injectors, commonly known as Epi-Pens. In America, one can only get those with a prescription or if you're the caretaker for someone who has life-threatening allergies, there is no other way to get them unless you buy them from a shady sight from the United Kingdom or Canada. Even Adrenaclic, created by CVS Pharmacy, which also treats anaphylaxis, is only available when prescribed by a medical professional. Disabled people with chronic pain can access medical marijuana, or even medical-grade opioids. One can't legally buy Schedule 2 Drugs (things like Adderall) without a prescription. It'll depend on what condition they have, but prescription medications are a huge part of that "access to supplies the rest of the population can't have."

The second thing is medical-grade sterile equipment. Sure, you can buy IV bags off of Amazon for fifteen dollars for fifty, but those probably aren't medical-grade and you don't have a guarantee that they're good or safe quality. IV fluids are hard to find at a reasonable price. Syringes? Those absolutely need to be sterile, it's not safe to buy those from anywhere that isn't a pharmacy. All of this stuff is best purchased as medical-grade, meaning it could be used by a doctor or a hospital, and they aren't buying this stuff from Amazon. Pharmacies get this stuff from similar, maybe even the same, sources as hospitals are getting them, and a pharmacy will probably only sell you most of this stuff to someone who's prescribed it and who has a diagnosed medical condition that requires it. Even then, disabled people usually need to jump through hoops to get our medical equipment.

And the third is something that might surprise you- mobility and assistance devices. Yes, you can get a cane from Walmart or a hospital-type wheelchair from Target, but those aren't personalized. They'll do the job but an abled person probably can't get a custom-built wheelchair as easily as someone with cerebral palsy can. This isn't saying it's easy for disabled people to get these things, it's just easier than it is for the general population. Plus, things such as a class three powerchair are thousands of dollars. If you're prescribed one, insurance might cover part of it, or you might have the option to receive these things for free from charities, or at a discounted rate, especially if you're low-income. You can buy them if you're abled, sure, but you'll have access to a better way to go about it if you're actually disabled.

Again, nothing on this list is guaranteed to be a breeze for a disabled person, but there are routes we can take that make getting them easier than it would be for an abled person who doesn't need them.

Mod Aaron

[sixx6sexx2love]

Hii I was just wondering if you could write dating headcanons or a fluff alphabet or something for Mick Mars

HII YES OMG THIS IS MY FIRST MICK WRITING!! SORRY TO THE PPL WHO WANTED MICK BEFORE I JUST DIDNT THINK I WAS READY GO WRITE FOR HIM YET😭 SORRY IF ITS NOT THE BEST I'LL TRY AND WRITW FOR HIM MORE IN THE FUTURE.

word count: 489

warnings: mentions of sex, drinking, one cuss word, not very well written, not proof read

literally nobody knew where mick was half of the time, but they knew he was with you he always has you with him (partially because of the guys) not saying he thinks one will fuck you but hes watching out. like on the tour bus you're always sat in the back together. hes not super into PDA, not for really any specific reason. its just not his thing maybe hand holding or wrapping his arm around your waist. he'll also let you hold his arm. if he has a love language its most likely words of affirmation. hell tell you how much he love you and loves you being here with him and also tell you how pretty you are. he loves making you laugh and loves it even more when he doesn't mean to make you laugh. he'll take any affection from you but his favorite (though hed never ask for it) is also words of affirmation. hes never really believed in love after his first, so hearing that you love him and all that means a lot. he also likes when you give him massages. his back, his shoulders, his hands, neck, he loves it. this is also something he wouldn't ask for unless he really needed it. but like before they go on stage you can sit there and rub his hands and usually the guys would mention it every time. Nikki would ask for a massage and wiggle his eyebrows. and also before a show I can see you filling his water pitcher with vodka since he thinks he's convinced everyone to think its water. but I can also see you actually filling it with water and him being confused. its long. I've seen it. I haven't seen it up close but I've seen enough. probably not too kinky, maybe some warship and stuff like that. definitely into giving oral. you know how the guys said that sometimes he'd be late to photo shoots and his lipstick would be smeared? that's because of you. I dont really see mick being one to fight, like I don't really see him putting up a fight anyway. thats a fact though he doesn't want to fight with anybody. hes tired and he loves you. if you're really angry at him and you're yelling, he'll leave on his own to give you some space, then he'd come back and ask if you wanna talk about it or if you'll yell at him more. if he's ever one to start a fight he probably wouldn't mean it, maybe he's really drunk and wants to be alone or hes just in a lot of pain and lashes out. but that doesn't happen too much because you often make him feel better before it gets too bad. over all mick is a sweet, funny guy who just really loves you to the moon and back. he wants peace and a good time.