#like at the same time i appreciate it for being short and sweet and straight to the point

[michi-chelle]

i did it 🥹

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

call my name and i’ll come running ; satoru gojo

synopsis; satoru can be irritating, at times. but even if you push him away, he’ll always, always be there for you when you need him.

word count; 8.7k (this was supposed to b a short drabble but i was possessed by the devil halfway through)

contents; satoru gojo/reader, gn!reader, reader n toru have a fight, mild swearing (a couple fucks here n there), hurt/comfort, satoru has communication issues but he’s trying his best, depictions of stalking (reader gets followed by a random creep but satoru comes to the rescue dw), uhh implied thoughts of violence? (satoru wants to Maul said dude but doesn’t), literally just me being in love with satoru gojo for 8.7k words straight

a/n; no thoughts head empty only gojo running through the streets like a wild beast looking for u <33 im normal about him yeah.

“you’re so annoying sometimes, you know that?”

satoru smiles. the sentence isn’t one he’s unaccustomed to hearing.

usually, the words are soaked in an undeniable fondness, as they spill from your lips. rich with exasperated love. one that never fails to have the corners of satoru’s lips curling up, a mellow kind of joy blossoming in his chest.

but now, that fondness is nowhere to be found. 

you sound thoroughly exasperated, and a little bit fatigued. more than anything else, there’s a vague irritation behind the tilt of your voice, something almost cold. it makes all the difference in the world. 

and yet, despite that, a certain someone chooses to pay no heed to the bad omen.

“aw, c’mon. you know you love me, baby.”

satoru is grinning. lighthearted, awfully sweet. there’s a certain smugness to it, though, one he couldn’t wash away even if he was aware of it; you wouldn’t do so even if you could. that smugness is a part of him, one that you’d usually find endearing. 

but right now, it only seeks to further your frustration.

it was a stupid fight, truthfully. completely meaningless. satoru had forgotten to pick up after himself for, like, the fourth consecutive time, and so you grew annoyed. not by a lot, but enough that you felt the need to be firm when you reminded him not to make the same mistake over and over again.

but satoru had only grinned, in that self-satisfied fashion of his, and apologized in a way you couldn’t possibly call sincere. then he did what he usually does — promises to work on it. to not do it again. he never follows through, though.

but even that thought wasn’t anywhere near enough to make you truly angry. what really began to irk you was the fact that satoru wasn’t taking you seriously, even in the slightest.

that’s how he always is, when it comes to this kind of thing. and you try to be patient, you do. you try to be understanding. sometimes you even appreciate that he keeps the atmosphere light, but other times, you just can’t help but feel irritated by it.

and the current situation happens to fall into the latter category.

you don’t care if satoru leaves a candy wrapper or two out, every once in a while. of course you don’t. it’s a silly thing to argue about. but would it hurt for him to just listen to you? to try to put himself in your shoes, for once? it’s not about the wrappers, or the undone dishes. it’s about the way he treats you when you complain about it — like it’s no big deal, like it doesn’t matter. even if it obviously does, to you.

so, gradually, the topic of your little argument began to shift, into a conversation about satoru. about the fact that he so adamantly refuses to talk about the things that bother you in a serious fashion. about the fact that he so adamantly refuses to take you seriously.

and he just keeps proving your point, with every word that falls from his lips.

at this point, you’re genuinely beginning to feel a little angry. but satoru doesn’t see that as the warning sign it is — he just thinks it’s cute. he’s just been cooing at you, this whole time, despite your numerous attempts to actually explain how much his behavior affects you sometimes. it feels a bit like talking to a wall. satoru keeps on teasing you, even as you try to be firm about your point, and only brushes you off with empty promises to do better and more unneeded comments about how much he wants to hug you when you pout like that.

and you falter, a little. of course you do. you’re weak to satoru. weak to his words, that sweet voice of his, that pretty grin. but that only makes everything worse, because if you let yourself look even a little bit flustered at his comments, he sees that as his cue to continue.

you don’t even know if he’s doing it on purpose, at this point. is he doing it because he knows it’ll annoy you, or does he genuinely not understand that you’re upset? you’d like to think that there’s no malicious intent behind it, but can’t he see how troubled you are? you don’t get it. you don’t get him, and that frustrates you most of all. satoru can be so goddamn convoluted, sometimes.

so you simply can’t help but feel annoyed. angry, even. how long have you been arguing for, at this point? you’re not sure. but you feel the frustration inside of you grow, as the minutes tick by, into something you know will eventually explode.

a sigh falls from your lips, deep and exasperated. a little bit exhausted. “i’m serious, satoru. you’re not even listening.”

“i am!” he protests, stubbornly. childishly. “you just look so cute when you’re all mad. not my fault you’re so distracting.”

satoru smiles, voice sugar sweet, but all you can do is frown. does he really think it’s cute that you’re upset? the thought makes you somewhat sad. but you can’t show that, can’t let that part of you win — you don’t even want to think about the possibility of you crying, because of this. yeah, no way in hell. 

so instead, you channel it into anger. as the blood inside your veins comes to a boiling point, you dig your nails into the skin of your palms, gnawing at your bottom lip and shifting from one foot to another.

”satoru, i’m —” another sigh, sharp and vexed like the blade of a knife. ”i’m trying to have a serious conversation, here. can’t you see that i’m upset?”

satoru takes a moment to look at you, from behind the black glass of his shades.

he can. of course he can see that. you’re frowning, and there’s a crease between your brows, and you keep huffing and sighing every three seconds — you’re obviously, undoubtedly upset. and satoru wants to take you seriously, he does. it’s just that the part of his brain that only ever wants to coddle and tease you keeps persuading him not to.

he’s not lying, either; you do look cute. almost too cute to take seriously, when you’re pouting so sweetly, a little red in the face from all the frustration bubbling inside your chest. you look so small, glaring up at him like an angry puppy. 

satoru can’t help but smile. it’d be impossible not to.

and he will listen to you, will take you seriously. he knows you’re angry, knows you’re upset, and he intends to deal with that properly. but he doesn’t need to do it right now.

just a little more teasing, before he has to stop beating around the bush. satoru dreads it, a little bit, dreads having to genuinely be serious, be open and apologetic. it always feels so strange, so discomforting. 

all that stuff can wait until later. for now, he just wants to see you blush a little more, huff and puff at his limitless affection, that he knows you love deep down. where’s the harm?

(and therein lies the problem. satoru is observant, and typically good at seeing the line that he shouldn’t cross when it comes to you. but there are times when he slips up, times when he doesn’t realize that his words have begun to sting. times when the line becomes blurry, because he knows some part of you enjoys the way he babies you, and sometimes it blinds him to the part of you that doesn’t.)

satoru is smiling. it’s the same as always — big, bright, glazed over with honey-sweet adoration. smug and teasing. it’s such a satoru-like smile that it makes your breath hitch, sometimes, makes your heart race with wonder. but now all it does is annoy you. everything you love about satoru is annoying you, right now. 

in your eyes, that pretty smile of his seems almost taunting. like he’s trying to pick a fight with you, trying to make you even more upset. you don’t want to blow up over something like this, you really really don’t — but for some reason, you feel dangerously close to. it’s not like you at all.

you bore into his eyes with a cold glare, even though you can’t exactly see them with his shades in the way. posture straight and rigid as you try to make yourself look bigger. you must look at least a little bit menacing, like this. right?

“i’m seriously angry with you,” you say, hoping your voice sounds as austere to his ears as it does to yours. “don’t you get that?”

satoru coos, unable to hold the sound back. he doesn’t notice the flicker of hurt in your eyes, only focusing on how the sunset rays frame your figure, kissing your skin with sun-soaked fervor. you look so pretty. and that angry look on your face is too tantalizing not to tease.

“aww,” he croons, inching closer to you. there’s a teasing glint in his eyes that you can’t see, unmistakably fond. “is my little baby that upset?”

you blink. his voice sounds even more sugar-sweet now, obviously exaggerated. there’s amusement there, too — like this is just one big joke to him. you think he must be doing it to belittle you, to embarrass you. speaking to you like you’re some kind of grumpy toddler, and not a grown adult trying to have a serious conversation with their partner. your blood boils, boils, boils.

— and so the cup overflows.

“oh, go fuck yourself.”

it’s almost in a hiss that the words fall from your lips, cold and harsh; they leave the confines of your throat before you have a chance to reconsider them, sudden and sickeningly heavy. crude, too. you’d never be so crass with him under normal circumstances.

but you’re overwhelmed, thoroughly and completely, and satoru is being particularly infuriating. you genuinely feel hurt by the way he’s disregarding your feelings, and that realization stings more than anything. 

so you can’t help but say the words, louder than you meant to, before turning on your heel swiftly and walking out of the room. 

you don’t even have time to register what you’re doing, legs moving on their own before your mind can catch up. brisk and heavy steps carry you to the door, all while you furiously attempt to blink away the tears of frustration that begin to form in your eyes.

it only takes a second for you to grab your jacket — then you’re out.

satoru hears the front door close, echoing off the walls of your apartment. you don’t quite slam it shut, but you close it with more force than usual, and he can’t help but inwardly wince.

a moment passes. 

then, he flops down on the couch, lanky arms and legs dangling uncomfortably off the edges. the groan that slips from his lips is muffled by the soft cushion as he burrows his face into it, while replaying your interaction inside his mind.

satoru can’t help but feel uncomfortable, with this conclusion. a little bit irked. a vague something rests inside his chest, something he doesn’t quite want to admit to feeling. it makes him feel a little bit sick.

(”oh, go fuck yourself.”)

he can’t recall you ever raising your voice at him like that. when it comes to him, you’re usually so patient; soft, understanding, gentle. for you to have snapped in such a way — to have stormed out of the apartment in your anger — he must have pushed you pretty far.

satoru sighs.

he really pissed you off, huh?

(he can never quite seem to get this right, can he?)

it was never his intention to make you genuinely mad. he just lost sight of the line, for a second. that’s all.

and maybe he was also trying to avoid the issue, trying to avoid actually arguing with you. because he hates it. he hates it more than anything. satoru would much rather see you smile and blush than act all serious and sad. 

he just wanted to make you laugh.

was it insensitive? yeah, probably. he just can’t help but fuck this up, it seems. now he’s gone and made you angry — and as much as the sight would usually thrill him, as cute as you look when you’re irritated, a pit of anxiety settles in his gut. everything just feels wrong.

more than anything, satoru feels restless. because, right now, there’s nothing he can do. he can’t chase after you, even if just to apologize — that’d make you even angrier.

he knows he needs to give you space. you were obviously overwhelmed; some fresh air will do you good.

it irks him, though. satoru wants to fix it. he always wants to fix everything, before it even breaks. and even now, all his mind can do is spin in circles, wondering how he could possibly cheer you up.

he’ll just have to apologize, when you get back. and hope you forgive him. maybe he can get you something sweet to munch on, or a bouquet of flowers. would that make everything okay again?

satoru doesn’t know. so he just scratches his head, and tries his damndest not to think of how defeated you looked before leaving.

your steps are heavy, dragging you forward, leading you somewhere you have no knowledge of. it’s chilly out, and the sun is already setting.

everything in the world feels so wrong. like it’s tilted slightly to the left, like the earth stopped spinning around its axis. like everything suddenly lost its saturation. 

you just needed to get away from him, for a while. away from that smug smile, that patronizing tilt of his voice. you couldn’t even stand to be in the same apartment as him. it’s not often you feel that way, not often at all. 

and it only increases your growing frustration. 

you are beginning to calm down, though — you know you are. the crisp evening air and the pleasant mingle of people soothes your muddled senses, smoothing down the crease of your brow and the ache in your chest.

a heavy discomfort, and a growing guilt. that’s all you can feel, as the anger slowly seeps out of you, turning into vapour with every exhale of your breath.

you hate arguing with satoru. you hate it more than anything. the guilt clawing at your chest barely leaves any room for anger — you almost yelled at him. just the thought of doing that to satoru makes you want to cry.

because you love him, at the end of the day, even when he’s being absolutely insufferable. he’s a sweetheart, your sweet boy, always trying to lighten the mood and make you smile. maybe you should have been a bit more understanding; you know satoru’s bad at this stuff, bad with emotions and vulnerability. and deep down, you know he’d never hurt you, not on purpose.

he probably just didn’t realize that you were genuinely upset. it’s a mistake that anyone could make.

but it just makes you feel so frustrated. like he’s not even looking at you. always hiding behind those shades, never opening up. never letting you see him wear anything but a smile. you want him to take it slow, open up to you at his own pace, but that doesn’t make the wait sting any less.

it’s not like you were asking for a lot. first, you simply asked him to pick up after himself. the way you do, the way anyone does. then, you simply asked him to treat you with respect.

a sudden pang of bitterness runs through your chest. sure, you could’ve handled it all better — but he could have, too.

every step you take hits the pavement with an irritated kind of decision. whatever. whatever. for now, you don’t want to think about it — all you want is to walk around and take in the sights, enjoy the peace and quiet.

so that’s exactly what you do.

before you know it, the sun has set, and the moon has risen — shining down and painting the streets in a mesmerizing blue, ephemeral and tranquil. it’s enough to give you some peace of mind, as you lurk around familiar streets, soaking in all the open space. so different from that suffocating apartment, and the man inside it, with that shit-eating grin and those breathtaking eyes.

(he’s called you, a couple times. you haven’t been gone for long — an hour or so, you think, maybe two. some part of you wanted to answer, just to hear his voice through the phone, but the part of you that’s still awfully irritated shut that down immediately. so, stubbornly, you just let it ring.)

the streets are empty, and the sky is dark. the light of all the lampposts illuminate your way, along with the soft flicker of the moon and stars. an endless galaxy stretches out before your eyes, little pale dots of stardust shining like jewels.

an ever-lasting, never-changing sky, that continues on for infinity. limitless. all the space you could possibly want, and then some.

for a moment, you can only look at the glittering stars in wonder, soaking in the feeling of absolute solitude. 

— it doesn’t last, though.

“you alone?”

a sudden voice calls out from behind you. close, discerningly so, enough to make you flinch. you curse yourself for not noticing anything sooner, caught up in looking at the starry sky, in angling your phone to take a picture of it.

hesitantly, you turn your gaze towards the sound — wincing under your breath when you see the man a couple steps away from you. he looks a little crazed, you think, shifting from foot to foot and hunching over. 

oh fuck no.

great, just what you needed. that’s just your luck, isn’t it? your brain can only spin in circles, trying to get your body to react, to run. to do literally anything except just stand there like a deer caught in headlights.

in your nervosity, all you manage is a painfully awkward laugh, as you stutter out a halfhearted response.

“oh — no, i’m just waiting for my boyfriend!” you smile, unconvincingly. your face must be soaked in unease. whatever he wants with you, it can’t be anything good.

at least you said that one word clearly — boyfriend. you can only hope it’s enough to scare him away.

but the man only shifts a little more, emitting a gruff kind of hum, not saying anything else. your spine tingles with apprehension. every cell in your body wants you to leave. he seems a little intoxicated, you think, and the thought only stirs the anxious feeling in your chest further.

god. why does this have to happen to you? why now?

thankfully, you’ve got your phone in hand. as your mind scrambles for solutions, your fingers tap at the screen, urgently scrolling through your contacts. in such a frightened state, your acting must be positively awful, but you make a vague attempt. not like you’re getting any oscars for this, either way.

“sorry — he’s calling me now!” you stammer out, taking a step away from the man. he doesn’t make a move to follow you, so you take your chances and press your phone to your ear, feet carrying you forward with haste.

in your fear, you don’t think twice about calling satoru — but you can’t help but internally wince at the decision, as the anxious patter of your own heart resounds in your ears.

how are you supposed to talk to him, exactly? what are you supposed to say? hey, i know i just told you to go fuck yourself, but will you hear me out? i need your help. 

and you do. you do need his help. all you want is for him to swoop in, to take you in his arms, your knight in shining armor.

satoru’s said it to you, before — that if you need anything, anything at all, you can come to him. that you can always, always lean on him, without exception. 

you know that he likes helping you. likes it when you open up to him, when you put your trust in him. when you aren’t afraid to ask for his help.

so despite everything, you hold your phone to your ear, walking away with brisk steps and praying that he’s not petty enough to ignore your call like you did to his.

back home, satoru is still resting on the couch, tapping his feet and trying to distract himself. 

he’s a little anxious. it’s dark out, and you’re not answering any of his calls. when you’re out of sight, like this, he can’t help but feel a little helpless — worried about everything that could happen to you. but it’s not like he can force you to pick up. 

you’re probably at a friend’s house, or something. telling them all about what an asshole your boyfriend is. as much as the thought stings, satoru hopes it’s true; it’s all he can comfort himself with. anything is fine as long as you aren’t out walking alone, in the cold, in the dark.

entirely caught up in his spiralling thoughts, satoru almost flinches when the phone rings. laying on the table in front of him, just within arm’s reach. it only takes a second for him to react as his gaze flits to the bright screen, and he sees the contact name, the many heart emojis littering it.

with a start, satoru jumps up. his back straightens out, and his hand flies to grab the phone — he’d feel embarrassed at his own eagerness, but right now he just can’t help it. even under ordinary circumstances, he wouldn’t let the phone ring more than twice, always giddy to hear your voice whenever possible. 

this time, however, he does falter slightly.

he takes a split second to simply stare at the phone in his hand, at the affectionate contact name. what is he supposed to say to you, exactly? how is he supposed to act?

satoru doesn’t know, but as if afraid that you’ll change your mind and stop the call, yourself, he opts to simply answer. he’ll just have to figure out what to say on the fly.

(unfortunately, satoru’s instinctual response to anything is either smugness or playfulness.)

“well, well. look who finally decided to pick up.”

you’re the one who called him, not the other way around — but satoru can’t be bothered with small details like that right now. he only hopes you don’t notice the faint nervosity in his voice, the stiffness as he tries to sound unbothered.

you don’t notice anything at all, mind far too muddled, too clouded by fear. all you can do is take a deep breath, desperately trying to grasp control over your wavering voice.

“— satoru?” you call out, voice meek and frail. the man in question notices it immediately, sitting up a little straighter, but before he can say anything you continue. “i’m sorry, i just — are — are you still at home?”

there’s an anxious tilt to your voice, one that’d be impossible for satoru to miss. your words are a little breathy, spoken in a fast tempo, and he feels a sudden dread crawl up his spine.

something is wrong, his senses alert him.

“yeah,” he hums, trying to hide the turmoil in his own voice. “why? is everything okay?”

the line is quiet, for a second. “it’s just —“ an exhale, as you once again attempt to steer your voice in a less nervous direction. “just… some creepy guy tried to talk to me. i told him i was waiting for my boyfriend and now i’m walking away from him but he’s still following me.” another exhale, as you worriedly sneak a glance over your shoulder. ”i just — i don’t know what to —”

“where are you?”

satoru cuts you off, voice eerily serious. his gaze turned cold the moment he heard creepy guy, legs moving him towards the coat rack by the front door as if on autopilot. 

he’s already left the apartment by the time you answer, looking around you meekly.

“i… don’t know,” you sigh. “i’m not far. i walked past that one crêpe stand by the park but then i, like… continued up that street? and now i don’t really know where i’m going.”

you continue, a little exasperated as your gaze flits around the dark street. attempting to recall your steps, a difficult task with how on edge you feel. “i’ll try to look for a sign, or something,” you gulp. “… i’m sorry. i just wanted to get away from him.”

satoru’s voice is comforting, when he speaks, eager to console you. grounding and soft. “hey, it’s okay. i’m heading there now, alright?” he smiles, hoping you’ll hear it in his voice. “i’ll be there before you know it.”

you do hear it, and his words ease a little of the anxiety in your chest, despite your fear. “okay.” 

the line grows quiet, again, and your brows furrow in worry. “can — can i keep talking to you?” you ask, uncertain. a little pitiful. ”please?”

“of course,” satoru answers, instantaneous. he’s already making his way towards the crêpe stand with decision in his steps, mentally scanning the area ahead. despite his own anxiety at the situation, he attempts to sound as secure as he can possibly manage, desperate to soothe the worry in your voice.

“try to relax for me, okay? nobody’s gonna hurt you. not while i’m here.”

his words are absolute, as he consoles you. he sounds so sure of himself, so much that you can’t help but believe in his words. so you nod, emitting a weak hum when you remember he can’t see you.

“can you tell me what you see, baby?”

“uhh…” you look around, blindly, trying to find some sort of meaningful hint around you. “there’s like… some toy shop?” 

satoru only hums. “can you check your location on your phone?” 

you blink. 

of course. why on earth didn’t that cross your mind before? 

“oh — yeah — fuck. i’m sorry. i don’t know why i didn’t —“ you sigh, heavy. “hold on.”

following satoru’s instructions swiftly, your gaze scans over the screen. he waits, patiently, already heading past the park and up ahead. as soon as you succeed in finding the name of the street, you echo it to him.

satoru sighs, a little relieved. “okay,” he hums. “i’m not that far away. i’ll be there soon.” he only hopes his words can soothe your fear, even a little. “is he still following you?”

you glance behind you, and meet the gaze of the stranger. just like you were afraid of, he’s still following you — if anything, he seems to have gotten a little closer. with a jolt, your heartbeat picks up.

“yeah,” you gulp. 

satoru’s chest tightens. he emits a low hum. “just hold on. i’ll hurry.”

focusing only on the tilt of satoru’s voice, you try to calm your breathing. you just want to see him. the thought of doing so is the only thing keeping your trembling ribcage intact, at this point. 

you swallow a shaky breath.

“thanks, toru.”

a sudden pang of ache sprouts in satoru’s chest, like thorny vines curling around his ribcage. his heart hurts. you sound so scared, so very small. 

this is all his fault, he thinks. all of it. he got too careless; none of this would’ve happened if he had only been more considerate. if he had just stopped you from leaving and apologized, or hadn’t upset you in the first place. then he wouldn’t have to hear that scared little voice, wouldn’t have to imagine your body shaking like a leaf in the cold night. so far away from him. 

but satoru can’t beat himself up over it, not yet. there’ll be more than enough time for that later. for now, he needs to get to you — that’s the only thing on his mind.

so he lets his feet carry him forward, running towards your location with bated breath. he’s sure you can hear it, through the phone, even though he tries to contain it.

the sound consoles you, if anything. it reminds you that satoru is there, that he’s on his way. that there’s no need to be scared. 

but you can’t help but freak out, a little, when you hear the man call out from behind you.

“hey!” he slurs, stumbling towards you with unsteady steps. his voice is loud, angry, and it sends your mind reeling into panic mode.

a flinch overtakes your body, before you stumble forward, walking even faster than before. you’re almost running now, breath hitching as you gulp. satoru hears it all — your panic, the echo of the man. his own tempo picks up.

“baby, calm down, okay?” he consoles you, voice concerned and honey-sweet. “just keep walking. i’m almost there.”

“sorry —“ you squeak out, between flurry breaths. breathing uneven, laboured and anxious. but you try your best to calm down. “‘s just scary.”

it almost feels physical, the way it irks him. satoru wants to pull you close, more than anything, but he can’t. and that just makes the calamity inside his chest grow, clawing at his ribcage as if trying to escape, to go to your side. 

(he never, ever wants to hear that kind of fear in your voice again.)

“i know,” he soothes. “you’re doing good, honey. listen — he’s not gonna touch you. i won’t let him. you have nothing to be scared of.”

you nod, even as you exhale a shaky breath. ”i know.” 

and you do. you know there’s a truth, to satoru’s words, one that’s never failed you before.

because satoru is your safe space, at the end of the day — he can be annoying, outright insufferable, and sometimes he’s bad with emotions. but he tries, you know he does. and, more than anything else, you know that he’ll always, always be there when you need him. he’ll always be there to protect you. 

and a part of you is sure that everything will be okay, as long as he’s around.

(it’s easy to forget how trustworthy satoru really is, how much he cares. how dependable he is. and how serious he can get, when he truly needs to be, despite his childishness. it’s moments like these that remind you of that.)

but it’s still scary, at the end of the day. you can’t help but feel uncomfortable, a little lost in the world. because you and satoru just fought, you just told him to go fuck himself, and yet here he is. running to your side, in the middle of the night, because you’re scared and alone and you need him.

the man continues to shout, behind you, muttering curses you can’t quite make out. you look over your shoulder nervously, steps hurried.

and satoru runs like a man possessed, through the moonlit streets, gaze scanning the area like a wild beast. his most visceral instinct is screaming at him, tugging at his flesh and bones, desperate to protect you. to comfort you. to wash all your worries away. 

as he makes a sharp turn, he momentarily stops the movement, halting to look around. he thinks he must look a little crazed, with the moonlight illuminating his eyes, but he couldn’t care less.

especially not when his gaze lands on a certain person, further down the street — small and alone.

your eyes meet his.

with the darkness of the street, it’s hard to make anything out, but the light of the lamppost helps. though even without it, satoru’s sure he’d know it was you, just from the sensation that unfurls in his chest as his gaze lands on your figure. 

an audible sigh of immense relief falls from his lips, and his tense shoulders relax, eyes softening just a tad. he hears a similar noise coming from the phone in his grasp, and he assumes that means you recognize him too. not bothering to end the call, he puts it in his pocket, walking over to you with brisk steps. 

you stumble towards him, yourself, the worried crease between your brows now smoothed away. the closer he gets, the faster you move, until you can see the blue of his eyes. two pocket-sized moons.

satoru swoops you in for a hug before either of you can say anything.

he cradles you close, awfully close, so close you can hear his heavy breathing against your ear. it tickles your neck, along with his soft hair, and you shiver. his fragrance envelops your senses, a blend between fresh laundry, strawberries and some expensive cologne. your favorite scent in the world. 

and suddenly, the world is devoid of danger. nothing can get to you while satoru’s there. all that exists is you, and him, and the soft flicker of the moon.

satoru squeezes you tightly, ensuring himself over and over again that you’re safe. he might be squeezing you a little too tight, but he can’t bring himself to think about that just yet.

finally, that growing calamity inside his chest is satiated. winding down at the feeling of you pressed up against him, the indisputable proof that you’re okay. with you in his arms, satoru feels like everything is alright, again.

the fear inside his chest, so foreign it leaves him shaken to the very core, finally begins to dissipate too. he doesn’t think there’s anything that makes him feel quite as hopeless as the thought of not being there for you when you need him. he never wants to feel that fear again. it’s suffocating. it crushes his lungs.

all he can do is hold you close, his big palm smoothing down your hair, the back of your head, your spine. warm and comforting. keeping you steady against him. he can feel your heartbeat, rapid and anxious, so fast that his heart aches. satoru is eager to soothe you, eager to make it go away.

”i’m here, baby,” he breathes, rubbing his cheek against the side of your head. ”you’re safe now.”

the words are spoken softly, right by your ear, and you exhale a shaky breath. you’re bundling up his clothing with your fists, anchoring yourself to him. after a little while, you let go, opting to wrap your arms around his midriff instead. nuzzling into his broad chest, you try to blink away your tears and contain your sniffles.

you nod against him, and satoru kisses the crown of your head.

and, finally, his gaze strays. it falls farther down the street, until it lands on a certain man — shifting from one foot to another. watching you both in silence.

the calamity inside his chest rouses from its slumber, once more.

satoru makes sure to keep his hands on you, still rubbing your back with one steady palm cradling the back of your head. keeping your face hidden in his chest, safe and secure.

then he raises his head, back straight, full height on display as his eyes meet the stranger’s. he can tell they do, even with the distance, the darkness of the street.

and satoru knows he looks menacing. he knows the light of the lamppost illuminates his figure perfectly, framing his tall stature and broad shoulders. and he knows the moonlight caressing his skin illuminates his face, his cold eyes — blue and uncanny, glowing even brighter than the moon. staring daggers into the man’s soul. if looks could kill, there wouldn’t even be any remains left to find.

the man stiffens, visibly, and satoru delights in it. he doesn’t leave, though, and for a second satoru wonders if he’s really intoxicated enough to come closer — 

but, sure enough, all he does is stagger a little. then he walks away, grumbling under his breath, hands in his pockets.

and satoru isn’t satisfied, with this conclusion. not in the slightest. he wants to run up to the man, wants to hold him up by the throat, wants to tell him off. because he has the nerve to terrorize someone like that, stalk them with intentions he knows can’t be anything but revolting. the nerve to do that to you, of all the people in the world —

satoru doesn’t know if he’s hated anyone quite as much. 

and a part of him wants to make him cower. make him fear for his life, just to make sure he never does anything like this again. leave him with a fear so great it’ll linger for as long as he’s alive.

(and a more animalistic side of satoru, one he doesn’t want to acknowledge, wants to do things that are much, much worse.)

— but you come first. without question, and without exception. he refuses to leave you alone, and refuses to make you look at the man for even a second more. 

so he’ll focus on you, entirely.

he can tell you’re still shaken up, heartbeat pulsating against him, little flutters of life prickling his skin. there’s a desperation in the way you hug his waist, like he could disappear at any moment. like he’ll slip away if you don’t keep him close. the sight tugs at satoru’s heartstrings. 

his first priority is to soothe you, always and forever. so that’s exactly what he does.

satoru smiles. it’s small, in the wake of the situation, but awfully sincere. fingers reaching down to trace over your jaw, he gently urges you to look at him; when you do so, hesitant, he cups your cheek with his palm.

your teary eyes feel like daggers to his heart, an unmistakable proof of his failure. his failure to protect you, to keep you safe and happy. but at the same time, he’s glad, from the bottom of his heart — that you’d let him see you like this. even after everything.

you look very meek, blinking the tears away as you look into his eyes. they’re bright, and comforting. you wonder if he left the shades at home, if he rushed over here so hurriedly that he didn’t think to bring them with him. you’re happy, in any case — the effect they have on you is undeniable. 

you can’t bring yourself to look away, consoled by the flickers of white inside his irises, like fluffy clouds in the blue sky. ever-lasting, never-changing.

satoru tilts his head, smile sweet and understanding. ”that was scary, hm?” 

his voice is tender, somehow so mature. like he’s some older, wiser being, comforting a scared child. it’s so soothing, so very grounding.

squeezing your eyes shut, you can only bring yourself to nod, as you nuzzle back into his chest.

”you’re okay now, honey,” satoru coos, smoothing down your back as you sniffle. an immense softness seeps through his whisper. ”i’ll always be here to protect you.”

there’s a truth to the statement, heavy and pious. like an oath, a pledge, something for you to believe in unquestioningly. you allow yourself to soak in the words, knowing them to be true.

you’re safe, now. there’s nothing to be afraid of anymore. satoru’s here, and he’s hugging you, pressing kisses against your shoulder.

but you just can’t stop crying.

when you speak up, your voice is weak, barely above a whisper. close to breaking apart at the seams. too tired after everything to resist the guilt inside your veins, you sniffle, and part your lips.

”i’m sorry i yelled at you.”

satoru stills.

then, his gaze softens, considerably. he hears himself coo, softly, palm smoothing down the back of your head. 

his sweet angel. apologizing to him, when he’s the one who started this whole mess. when you’re still so shaken up. because he let you leave the house angry, because he made you angry in the first place. because he didn’t see how important the discussion was to you.

(“you’re not even listening.”)

yeah. he wasn’t. he didn’t really want to.

an acute sense of shame. an intense guilt. that’s what he’s been trying to push down, all this time. that’s the unnamed something. 

it’s hard for him. to be as sincere as you, as open with his feelings and emotions. as mature. because even in a situation like this, you can swallow your pride and frustration, and apologize. even when you aren’t in the wrong. you’re always the bigger person, always the one to give in first, because he’s too stubborn to do so himself.

next time, satoru pledges, he won’t let you. next time he’ll be the one to swallow his pride.

because, yes, being vulnerable and admitting that he was in the wrong makes him feel a little like he’s being skewered alive — but you’re important to him. he loves you. and he wants you to know how much he trusts you, how special you truly are. 

if he can show you that, by being a little sincere, a little serious, then any discomfort he feels in the process is a small price to pay.

satoru’s lips meet the crown of your head, as he encircles your smaller frame, arms reaching around your neck to pull you close. he rests his jaw lightly on the top of your head, breathing in your scent. ”you have nothing to apologize for, baby.”

a pause lingers between the words he’s already said and the ones he yearns to say, but can’t seem to pull out from within his throat. it takes effort, to squeeze them out; but every time he replays your own apology in his mind, it gets a little easier. he squeezes you lightly before opening his mouth, as if to give him strenght.

“i’m sorry.”

you blink. 

for once, satoru sounds sincere when he apologizes — almost painfully so. bordering on something you think may be nervosity. you try to look up, to catch a glimpse of his expression, but he keeps you hidden in the crook of his neck.

”i was being immature,” he continues, sighing. you don’t know if you’ve ever heard satoru sound so uncomfortable. ”you know how bad i am with this stuff. but i never want to — you know.” 

he makes a gesture with one of his hands, as if that will say the words for him.

“— i didn’t mean to upset you. honestly.” satoru inhales the cold air, in hopes it’ll make him more honest. “you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

you listen. intently, not missing a word, not a single tilt of his voice. it all sounds so genuine, almost foreign on his tongue. satoru seems to be trying to find the right words, grumbling a little under his breath. 

he’s cute, like this. kind of awkward, but that only makes him cuter. you nuzzle closer to him, comforted by his very existence.

”… i’ll work on it,” he whispers, at last. “i’ll listen to you. i promise. i really, really will.” 

you think satoru’s voice wavers, just a little, when he says his final piece. 

“so please don’t cry.”

this time, satoru doesn’t stop you when you attempt to lift your gaze, loosening his arms around you and raising his head from where it rests on top of yours. 

your eyes meet. satoru is smiling, weakly. he tilts his head, looking at you with something you could only ever describe as love.

”okay?”

such a lovely smile. so painfully genuine. his eyes are on full display, shining in the dark of the night, like splotches of moonlight. like someone stole the moon down to earth, and carved out little pieces to put in his irises. an ethereal hue.

he’s so gorgeous. hair just a tad messy, tousled from all the running he did to get here. cheeks a little red from the cold. when he smiles, his eyes crinkle. but he looks almost pained. 

(he was so, so worried.)

blinking away the tears clinging to your lashes, you simply stare, entirely mesmerized by the sight. satoru’s thumb goes to wipe at your glassy eyes, smoothing away the drops that threaten to fall. you want to engrave his expression into your memory, so you can never forget it. but it’s just a little too much.

so you hide in his chest, once more. the word that falls from your lips is tiny. “okay.”

satoru smiles, kissing the top of your head with a relieved exhale. bathing in your presence, still reeling from his show of vulnerability. he feels a little like he just cut himself open, let you peek inside his ribcage. the night air stings his skin. 

but you’re so warm, hugging him tightly, breathing and heartbeat finally relaxed. 

(he doesn’t mind it, not if it’s you — having you look inside his chest. if you asked, he’d let you build a shelter there. right between his fourth and fifth ribs.)

now that the words are out of his throat, they don’t burn at all. satoru feels a little silly, for being so scared to say them out loud. he knows you’d never use them against him.

all you do is snuggle closer, as if silently conveying your forgiveness.

you stand there for just a little while longer, wallowing in the tender atmosphere. finally, satoru makes a move to leave, and you begin to walk back home.

“sure you’re okay now, baby?”

you nod, exhaling a flurry breath. it turns into vapour in the cold of the air, drifting up and dissipating in the expanding starry sky. “yeah. thanks for coming so quickly.”

“of course,” satoru only says, choking back a yawn. 

your hands are intertwined, and he’s halfheartedly swinging them back and forth. it soothes your anxiety, and satoru’s protective instincts. you know neither of you will slip away, like this.

you shiver a little, subconsciously inching closer to satoru to protect you from the harsh bite of the midnight breeze. he notices, giving you a glance and a tilt of his head. “you cold?” 

“just a little,” you mutter, smiling weakly as you look up at him. ”i’m fine.”

satoru huffs. did you really think he’d be dissuaded by such a weak retort? there’s no way he’s letting you walk around all cold and shivering. 

so you come to a standstill, as satoru begins to shrug off his coat. he refuses to let go of your hand for even a second, making the process slower than usual — your heart flutters a little, as his fingers curl around yours, delicately. 

when he finally gets it off him, he wastes no time in draping it over your shoulders. it’s big on you, warm and soft, shielding you from the chilly air. satoru can’t help but giggle sheepishly, as he always does at the sight — you look so cute. 

“c’mon. let’s go home,” he grins, ruffling your hair teasingly.

satoru doesn’t feel cold, not in the slightest, as he holds your hand tightly. just your presence is enough to warm his bones to the marrow.

the silence between you is comforting and soothing, as you continue to walk. hand in hand, admiring the starry sky. you’re both too tired to speak — but satoru does so, anyway.

“i meant it, y’know.” satoru sounds sleepy, but earnest. ”i really will work on it.”

he doesn’t look at you when he says it, yawning softly and stretching his free arm. gaze fixed on the morning star. 

“oh.” you pause, squirming a little. sheepish. “thank you. i’m sorry that i — i mean.” a sigh. “i probably overreacted a little.”

satoru shakes his head, waving off your guilt. “nah. you’re right. i never want you to feel like i’m not taking you seriously.”

his gaze meets yours, tentatively. his eyes shine like wedding rings. “you mean a lot to me.”

the sincere words manifest themselves as a heavy pressure to your chest, closing in on your heart as if crushing it. it’s a pleasant sensation, though, overwhelming as it is. you’re a little scared that your knees will buckle if he keeps this up, but even if they do, you wouldn’t want him to stop — satoru’s love is terrifically overwhelming when there’s nothing to hide it, when it’s just love and nothing else.

but you’d never reject it. you’d let it crush you to death with a smile on your face.

all you can do is avert your gaze, afraid that you’ll fall into the blue sea of his eyes if you don’t. heavy thumps of blood resound in your ears as your heart beats, warmth spreading throughout your entire body.

“… you mean a lot to me, too.” you echo, holding his hand just a little tighter. warmth rises to your cheeks. “i just felt really frustrated, i guess. like you were looking down on me. i know you weren’t actually, though.”

satoru chews at the inside of his cheek, almost anxiously. “i know i can be a little much sometimes,” he says, tasting the words on his tongue. “and i appreciate you for putting up with that. i’m sorry i let it go too far. i’ll be more considerate.”

your heart stutters in your chest. you’re not sure what to say — the way he forms his words makes them feel so absolute. and you believe him.

“i’ll be more considerate, too,” you echo, looking down at the pavement. “i shouldn’t have blown up like that.” a pause. you mumble, quietly, a little embarrassed. “i shouldn’t have told you to go fuck yourself.”

satoru breathes out an amused huff, chuckling lightheartedly. his eyes carry a teasing glint when they meet yours. “i probably deserved that. no worries.”

“still,” you pout. satoru giggles. 

“we’ll both work on it, then,” he hums, tilting his head to find your gaze. “right?”

you blink. a small smile breaks out across your face. “right.”

satoru swings your hands back and forth, looking awfully happy with himself. you’re proud of him. really.

“oh —“ he says, breaking the sleepy silence once again. “and i’ll stop leaving wrappers around, too.”

this time, you’re the one who huffs out an amused breath. “thank you,” you grin, looking up at him. he thinks the sight is terribly precious.

a yawn leaves your lips, drowsiness sneaking its way into your bloodstream. you’re not sure if it’s due to the dark, or if you’re just a tad exhausted after all the arguing and panicking.

satoru notices, and gets an idea.

“you tired, baby?” he coos, eyes teasing but soft around the edges. “d’you want a piggyback ride?” 

when you give him a look, sleepy and kind of exasperated, satoru grins. you huff out an amused breath, just a tad embarrassed, but it only spurs him on.

so he crouches down, one knee meeting the pavement, letting your hand slip from his. you blink, tiredly, at the loss of contact. you can’t see his face, but you know he’s wearing that lovesick, smug little grin of his. 

”c’mon. your big, strong boyfriend’ll carry you.”

satoru’s feeling playful, you can tell. that’s usually a bad sign — but you can’t deny that you’re tired. and the prospect of getting carried all the way home is eerily tempting. 

your gaze falls on his back, and his broad shoulders. silently, you walk towards him, and wrap your arms around his neck. satoru holds you up by your thighs, and then stands up, jostling you a little; he does so without a hitch, and you’re reminded of how strong he really is. his grip is secure, and you trust him not to drop you, no matter what. 

you let out a content sigh, basking in the chill of the midnight air as you nuzzle your cheek against his soft hair. satoru chuckles.

”my sleepy lil’ sweetheart,” he coos, voice a tad raspy. ”lucky thing you’ve got me, huh?”

there’s a softness to his voice, despite the teasing tilt obscuring it. you can only huff out a breath, somewhere between a chuckle and a scoff, and cling to him tighter.

satoru will get you home safe. he can be annoying, outright insufferable, and he can be bad with emotions — but you can always, always trust him on that. 

so, with his coat shielding you from the chilly air, and his back warming you up as he carries you back to your apartment, you allow your eyes to flutter shut; enjoying the cozy feeling his presence brings you.

he’ll always be there when you need him.

[hanyacoded]

if i had to choose her or the sun! megumi x reader

repost from old acc! reblogs are appreciated<3

megumi fushiguro x gn!reader

cws; none really, femcoded(?) reader, swearing, reader drinks coffee, megumi whipped for reader, first kiss, small [physical] fight between megumi and yuji for funnies

wc: 1154

writing below the cut

TO SAY THAT megumi fushiguro hates mondays would be an understatement. he doesn't hate them, he fucking despises them. there's nothing he can think of that's even close to likeable about them. the mornings? the worst part of his entire week. the nights? he's so tired he can't even think. and all the time in between? literal ass.

today's even worse. he normally hates waking up to go to class, but even that sounds better than waking up at 5 am to go to yuuji’s stupid sports practice. the fact that yuuji manages the patience or energy for this is astounding. 

it's the worst day in his entire life, he thinks. but then he sees you, and suddenly it doesn't feel so bad anymore. you're dressed in layers and layers of fluff and wool, trudging through the soft layer of unshoveled snow on the ground, making a beeline straight for him.

there's a cute little grin on your face as you bounce towards him. your cheeks and nose are flushed,  and your pretty, sparkly eyes are trained on one single thing: the steaming cup of coffee that he's cradling in his freezing hands.

“hey!” you yell, using your hands to form a makeshift microphone before you reach him. you plop down beside him, onto the bench. 

“what flavour?” you demand, not noticing the way he stiffens, or the way his cheeks turn a even brighter shade of pink, a shade that no amount of cold can ever produce. he shifts uncomfortably as you lean into him suddenly, with no regard to his prsonal space. you take a deep breath, then close your eyes.

“caramel?”

“mm.” he offers it to you quietly, and you happily cuddle into his side as you take a big sip. you always tell him how surprising it is that the two of you, despite having opposite personalities, have the same taste in coffee. the short answer is, you don't.  the long answer, however, complicates things wildly. he's never been a fan of sweet things, but you absolutely adore them. and when you'd told him how much you “love, love, love!” (your words, not his) sweet things. and of course, the one day he'd tried out caramel coffee, you'd tasted it too, and decided that you loved it.

“homemade?” 

“yeah,” he murmurs. somewhere along the line, he's started making it at home. just for you. he enjoys seeing your little reactions every day when he hands it to you, and it goes without saying that being unable to savour his own coffee in peace is so worth watching you savour yours. he's used to it now anyways, choking down his own black coffee in seconds before setting out with “his” coffee, that's actually always been yours.

you tug at the thick muffler that's hanging half off your neck with one hand. 

“wait– lemme–” you pull again, and the coffee almost spills out of the cup. he takes it from your hand gently.

“there, do it now.” 

you rip off the muffler gratefully and reach for the cup. but before you can take your coffee back, yuuji jogs over and snatches it up, pouring some into his mouth. megumi grabs it back from him, annoyed. 

“stop touching my stuff!”

“why are you always mean to everyone?” groans yuuji, collapsing onto the bench.

“wh’d’ya mean?” you ask, voice muffled by your megumi’s coffee cup. you put it down beside you. “i don't get it, he's never been mean to me!”

“nyeh!” yuuji sticks out his tongue at you. “that's cause he likes yo–”

your eyes widen. you've never seen megumi move this fast before; he lunges at yuuji, hissing “why'd you say that in front of–”

“i’m sorry, it just slipped out!” he gasps, trying to wriggle away–but even though he's stronger than megumi, the angle at which he's being held down is enough to hold him in place. and that's when it finally clicks.

“megumi… you like me?” your eyes are filled with wonder and surprise as you stare down at the pair, unmoving on the ground against a striking backdrop of snow.

yuuji shakes his head vehemently. “no, i was joking, i swear!”

“that's not true!” yells megumi at the same time. but then he sees how you seem to deflate, and your bright eyes dull. fuck it. he twists around to look at you properly. “i mean, it is true, but–”

he sees the way a small smile plays up on your lips. it's the prettiest sight he's ever seen–and distracting enough for yuuji to shove him away and take off running. beinf an s-class track star, he doesn't have to run for long before he's out of view. now it's only you and megumi left.

he's sitting on the floor of the pavilion, in front of the bench, scared to talk to you. you, on the other hand, have never been so bold. you walk over to him, and kneel between his spread out legs. you touch his face.

“hey, megumi.”

“yeah?” his voice is nervous, shaky.

“can i kiss you?”

he nods.

taking a deep breath, you lean forward, pressing your lips tentatively to his. megumi freezes, before pulling you closer to him, hand on your waist. holy shit, your lips are soft. but what if someone sees them? it would be so embarrassing. he pulls away briefly to catch his breath, but you look disappointed, like you wanted more. and then he's effortlessly pulling you up onto his lap, embarrassment be damned. your hands are tangled up in his hair, and he kisses you again, fervently. 

“we should,” he gasps, out of breath. “we should really go somewhere more private.”

“oh,” you say, surprised. “we're still in the pavilion.”

he nods, lifting you off of him, then gets up. he pulls you up too, but then his eyes widen as soon as he sees your lips. picking up your muffler, he wraps it securely around your neck and the lower half of your face, so they're no longer visible. 

“what's wrong?” you ask, confused.

he shakes his head, cheeks dusted a pretty pink.

“your uh,” he clears his throat. “your lips are swollen, it'll look weird.”

your laughter is infectious, and he's also laughing by the time you get to gojo’s car. when the two of you get in, his chauffeur–because when is gojo not going all out over little things–starts the car, and you immediately cuddle into megumi's side.

“so.” 

you ignore him, eyes closed.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

LATER

“wait, so you actually like me?” you ask, peering down at the heart-shaped box of chocolate in your hands. there's a note stuck to it that says, happy valentine's day. you look up at megumi, who's holding a bouquet of flowers and the three stuffed animals you've won from the claw machine at the arcade.

“baby,” he groans. “we've been over this already, we've been together for two damn years!”

[jaylaxies]

MEMORIES BRING BACK YOU

PAIRING: ex boyfriend!jaemin x fem!reader

GENRE/CW: smut, unprotected sex, fingering, themes of jealousy, obsession, stalking, drinking, breeding, usage of nicknames.

WORD COUNT: 2.1k words

SYNOPSIS: You were just about to head to sleep when you head loud knocking on your door. Turns out, it’s your drunk ex boyfriend who claims he misses you.

WARNING: 18+ content, minors dni

A/N: omg hihi, it’s my first time writing about jaemin! i hope you guys enjoy it! all likes, comments, reblogs are highly appreciated! it keeps me motivated! iloveyou all and happy reading <33

It was nearing midnight when you decided to close your books. Your eyelids automatically pressed shut to find tranquillity as you had spent the entirety of your evening studying when you could have easily gone out to Johnny’s party for the night, especially when you had no tests coming up for two weeks straight. 

A sigh left your mouth as you got up, changing into your most comfortable pair of shorts along with a skimpy top, which suited to be the best outfit for you while you slept. 

It wasn’t as if you were trying to avoid your friends or the party, it was rather that you were trying to avoid a certain black haired guy, who’s dazzling smile stood out in the crowd. 

It was none other than Na Jaemin, the guy you’ve been trying to avoid all month, especially because he kissed a random girl while being in a relationship with you. He’s been trying to apologize ever since, but you weren’t one to take his excuses. 

“I thought it was you,” he had said. 

Your jaw clenched as you remembered the whole scenario, your broken heart and endless tears. But what made it worse was the fact that you still wanted him, you missed him, and that’s the reason why you avoided being at the same places as him, which also included tonight’s party. 

With a sigh, you tied your hair in a loose ponytail, almost getting into your bed before you heard loud banging on your front door. The noise was enough to galvanize you as you jumped slightly, your hand coming to rest on the top of your chest in an attempt to calm your fast beating heart. 

Who would come this late at night?

You hurried to check it out, looking out of the peephole to find a very disoriented and drunk Jaemin, who was mumbling something which was inaudible to you before he raised his voice. 

“Open up, angel,” he spoke, “let me in, you know you’re still fucking mine. You belong to me.” 

You bit your lower lip, trying to contain your feelings yet even you couldn’t deny how your skin shivered when he called you his. You didn’t know whether to open the door or not. 

But you did know that you didn’t want your neighbours to hear Jaemin. 

Hesitantly, you opened the door which was a successful attempt to make him stop shouting. His grin widened when he saw you, eyebrows raising once his eyes took you in from head to toe. 

“What the fuck are you doing here?” You asked, agitated. 

“I missed you, kitten,” he whispered. 

It would have been a sweet thing to say if he said it when he was sober, but his current situation didn’t make things better, especially when you noticed the switch in his expression. Lust took over his senses. 

“Jaemin, you should go home,” you said, voice softer for him to understand. 

He chuckled, it almost sounded sinister. He looked sinister with his messy hair falling over his eyes, his glossy lips turned up in a smile, his shirt which was halfway unbuttoned, revealing his torso and showing the slightest bit of his defined abs. 

“Why would I go home when you’re here, kitten?” He asked, stepping closer and also shutting the door in the process, “you know I love you, right?”

It was bad enough that you were anticipating it, and then it got worse when your heart fluttered at his confession. You wish you had one bit of self respect for yourself, you thought you did, but it was quick to fly out of the window as soon as Jaemin turned up at your door. 

He took another step closer and your body felt weak, “I know you won’t let a little mistake get in between us,” he cradled your face. 

Your body shivered with the proximity. He smelled of alcohol mixed with the scent of his musky yet lightweight perfume. It was intoxicating. 

“Jaem—” you tried to say but he cut you off. 

“That’s not what my kitten calls me,” he whispers, nose touching yours. 

You gulped, knees feeling weaker by second, “nana,” you let out softly, causing his smile to grow. 

“That’s right, that’s my good girl,” he praised and you swore his voice sounded even more sensual whenever he whispered. 

Your mind had blanked out, the only things you could still register were Jaemin and his voice. However, you tried to convince him with the littlest sanity left inside you, “nana,” you said, “it’s too late, maybe you should go home and get some rest, yeah?” 

That seemed to have angered Jaemin because he grabbed your nape and pulled you even closer to him, lips almost touching. 

“Are you trying to make me leave, kitten? Aren’t you happy to see me?” He asked, exasperated. 

“Of course, I’m happy—” 

“So why are you doing this? Do you have someone else now? I’ll fucking kill them.” Your eyes widened at his statement, his tone even deeper now. 

“Oh my god, no! That’s not it,” you tried to say. 

He scoffed, “I fucking saw Haechan leave your house two days back, are you fucking him now?” He raised his brows, almost like a challenge. 

That was enough to bring you back to your senses. Even though you did not fuck around with Hyuck, it wasn’t any of Jaemin’s business to be lurking around your place. 

He was stalking you. 

“Why do you care? Are you a stalker now?” You raised your voice for the first time. 

“Because you’re fucking mine, kitten,” he growled, turning you around and pushing you against the door. 

His plush lips were quick to be pressed against yours, sending a jolt of pleasure down your spine but you didn’t kiss him back. 

With his fingers gripping your waist harder, he pushed his knee in between your legs and your thin shorts barely acted as a barrier between his rough jeans and your cunt. 

A gasp left your mouth, which just provided him with the perfect opportunity to shove his tongue down your throat. He tasted like raspberry and beer mixed together, you tried to keep your walls up but it was beyond you how this guy managed to make you swoon over him despite fucking everything up. 

Slowly, you gave in as your body worked on its own accord, rubbing on his knee while your lips whispered out his name before kissing him back with equal intensity, as if you were transferring all your frustrations into him. 

He only smirked, trailing his soft lips down your neck, “I’m gonna have to mark you up, kitten. I need to teach you who you belong to,” he murmured against your weak spot, right below your jaw. 

He had your body memorized, his fingers tracing your nipples in circles through your skimpy top, which again, provided you with no help as you could feel his warm fingers too distinctly. 

“Jump,” he commanded, tapping your thighs twice as he picked you up effortlessly and walked towards your bedroom, continuing to ruin your neck as he sucked it strong enough for purple marks to appear. 

Your breath was shaky, your whole body was in his control as he took you to your bed, getting on top of you with his devilish smirk, his lips glistening more than ever as he kissed you, a string of saliva connected your mouth when he leaned back and diverted his attention to your shorts. 

“Seems like you were waiting for me, kitten. Why else would you dress up like this, huh?” He asked, his voice almost innocent despite his words, and actions. 

He proceeded to grab the upper portion of your top, your eyes widening as he tore it open, not wasting a second in taking your tits in his mouth. You rubbed your thighs together, wetness pooling down your shorts as you were devoid of panties, just how he liked it. 

“Did you fuck yourself with that filthy toy of yours when you missed me?” He asked, his hand coming down to cup your clothed wetness.

“Nana,” you whimpered, body heating up as your eyes teared up with pleasure. You had missed him so much. 

It was embarrassing how he knew exactly what you did, using a dildo to replace his huge cock, trying to feel something but you couldn’t. Nothing compared to his cock. 

“Did it make you cum?” He asked, jaw clenched as wrapped his fingers around your neck, your eyes almost closed shut with how your body shuddered. 

“No,” you whispered, bucking up your hips to meet his palm pathetically. 

“That’s right. Now tell me who makes you cum, kitten?” His voice sounded like pure melody, he talked to you as if you were a baby. 

“Nana makes me cum s—so hard!” You whimpered, how smirk growing. 

That’s all it took for him to rip open your shorts too, your eyes widening as you saw his sleeves tightening with his muscles flexing. 

He was so hot. 

You didn’t get a chance to mourn for your destroyed clothes as he pushed his two digits right into your cunt, knowing that you’ll easily take him in with your dripping wetness. 

He was right. 

Your back arched as the room seemed hazy to you, covered with the thick mist of your sinful activities. Your walls clenched, taking his fingers in deeper as you ached for more of him. All of him. 

“No bra, no panties,” he said, “just how I like it,” he whispered right in your ear as his hand started to pump in you at a faster pace. 

He didn’t stop, muttering the filthiest things in your ear. Something about Jaemin being fully dressed while you were fully naked in front of him felt hot to you. He treated you like a doll. 

You whined, stuttering midway at the feeling of your walls squeezing him in, his chuckle only sending you into a frenzy. You were so gone when it came to him. 

“I can’t—” you whined, feeling heat pool up in your abdomen. 

He chuckled, “not so fast, kitten.”

You took a deep breath, excitement filling up your veins as you saw him remove his clothes, unbutton his shirt to reveal his abs, and unbuckling his belt to get rid of his pants. 

You groaned, almost shuddering when you saw his hardened cock, tip angry and leaking as he caught the sight of your wet slit again. 

“Nana’s gonna make you cum on his cock,” he grinned. 

You looked so innocent to him, desperate for his cock, his touch. Desperate for him. He got on top of you yet again, his hand smoothly taking off your scrunchie, letting your hair free. 

“My pretty kitten,” he whispered, successfully capturing all your attention, which was on his face. 

It was a given that you didn’t think about the fact that he was going to slam his dick into you so hard that you’d dig your nails into his shoulders, only making him smirk wider. 

“So, wet for me,” he bottomed out, thrusting in yet again, hitting your g-spot, as you barely could utter a word, “I knew it, you can’t stay without me, not when you want my cock shoved into you every twenty four hours,” he increased his force, the bed slightly shaking at his intense pace. 

The noise of his balls smacking your ass reverberated all over the room as you bit your lip to contain the lewd moans which threatened to escape. He knew your high was near with how your stomach tightened. 

He kept his hand on your lower abdomen, getting a feel of how deep his cock is inside you and how your stomach feels so full when he thrusts into you. You could basically see his imprint on your skin. 

“Kitten loves it when Nana fucks his babies into her, doesn’t she?” He whispered, kissing a tear on your cheek. 

You loved it. 

“Say it,” he urged you, eyes demanding. 

“I want your babies in me,” you said, voice shaky as he never once stopped thrusting into you. 

“That’s my good girl,” he said, his smile turning angelic for just a second before he started ramming his cock into you. 

You screamed and moaned, throat hurting as you blacked out for a second, reaching your high as you felt his warm liquid coating your walls, filling you up with a few more thrusts before he held you in his arms, sitting up. 

“I knew you had missed me too, kitten,” he smiled. 

“Guess we’ll be together forever.” 

THANK YOU FOR READING

TAGGING: @ddeonuism @celeste-hoon @en-myworld @jayzdaze @robyn-core

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[foreverinadais]

the break-up:

summary: in which y/n is going through a break-up with the moon boys and happens to be serving when one of them is on a date. reader x steven, reader x marc, reader x jake (3rd person, she/her pronouns)

warnings: ANGST (there is fluff, don’t worry) , break-up, language, fem! reader

word count: 4109 

thank you for all the love on this fic!! every interaction has made me smile and is very much appreciated. hope you enjoy :)

Working in at the small Steakhouse restaurant was certainly not what Y/N had envisioned for her career. It was, to put it plainly, becoming rather tedious to deliver the same orders every night to similar faces of people, mostly the ones in love.

Love.

The thought of it made her feel sick. It was not long ago she was that person sat in a small restaurant, gazing longingly into the eyes of one of the three men she had fallen deeply for. She saw herself in those people, full of hope and desire. But now, she saw herself in ones sitting alone, eyes clouded with tears and doubt.

Break-ups were hard.

Especially when it was with 3 separate personalities, people. With each one, she was losing something else- Steven’s unadulterated sweetness, Marc’s vulnerability, Jake’s passion. But all three, together, they completed her, filled her heart with a feeling she had only ever heard of from Shakespeare and Byron- love. Absolute love. And when she lost that, not once but 3 times… she felt loss. Painful, heart-wrenching, unreal loss, that left her reeling in pain every night, and fighting the overwhelming sense of loneliness during the day.

She didn’t understand. She couldn’t understand how it was over. She finally understood how words could carry such pain- we can’t do this anymore. It had hurt more than any punch ever could, felt like a literal dagger in her heart.

“What? What do you mean? Marc?” It was Marc who was nominated by the others to do the deed. Y/N had instantly noticed something was wrong, rushing to his side and comforting him before seeing an unfamiliar look in his eyes, something dark and heavy that made her heart race. He felt a lump form in his throat. No. He was meant to be able to do this.

“I’m sorry. But we… we need to break-up.” The silence that followed was almost unbearable as Y/N studied his features. He almost couldn’t read her expression, almost shocked when she let out a breathy laugh.

“Is this some kind of a joke? Your kidding, right?” Denial. Marc shook his head, having to turn away from her before he broke completely.

“I’m sorry.” He repeated, scared that if he attempted to say anything more, his cover would break completely. Y/N was still for a second.

“No. I don’t believe you.” He sighed in a mixture of frustration and sadness, shaking his head. He needed to get it together. “Whatever’s going on, I’m here for you. all of you. you know that Marc, whatever this is, we can work through it, right?” She sounded so sweet, voice collected and comforting.

“I-” The words were escaping his mind as all he could think of was pulling her into his chest and kissing her until neither could breathe. And it was then Jake took control. Y/N could sense his presence immediately; the way his shoulders tensed, his head dipping slightly.

“Jake. What’s going on?” she tried the question again, feeling nausea creep in her stomach.

“Marc said already.” He was being short with her, voice sounding angry, stern. Oh. He was still turned away from her, and she let out a groan in exasperation, grabbing his arm and turning him to face her. He was avoiding eye contact, looking to the floor, expression cold and distant.

“For fuck sake, Jake, why?! Can you just, just be straight with me. Because I’m confused.”

“We need to end this. It’s over.” She felt tears prick her eyes, anger replacing the nerves.

“But why?! WHY, Jake, this is ridiculous!” She took his cheeks in her hand and forced his eyes to look into hers. She wanted to break his exterior, wanted him to tell her the truth, or admit it was all a joke. But he held her eyes this time, not looking away when he said:

“It has to be like this. I’m sorry.” Y/N scoffed.

“No…” and she felt the anger coming out. “No! This is pathetic.” And she began hitting his chest, not hard enough to hurt, not even slightly, but he felt each blow, squeezing his eyes shut.

“Lo siento…”

“You- fuck- can’t do this to me. You can’t!” She carried on hitting his chest until she felt weak, and suddenly, someone was gently grabbing her wrists.

“Y/N/N…” She felt a sob wrack her body and stopped, falling into Steven’s chest. He almost reluctantly comforted her, a hand stroking her back as she cried.

“What’s happening, Steven?” The hurt in her voice was unbearable. He felt tears fill his eyes as he lightly took her shoulders and urged her away, so she was facing him. “Please.” The word came out as a broken whisper and Steven swore it was the worst sound he’d ever had to endure.

“Listen, love, I mean, Y/N…” her name felt weird coming from his lips, ones which usually graced her with pet names and terms of endearment. “I know this is hard to hear, trust me, but we, us, well, we decided we need to-”

“Not you, too. Please, Steven, you cant possibly want this.” He didn’t. None of them did. But alas, it had to be done.

“I-”

“Give me one good reason. I swear, Steven, this isn’t fair and if there isn’t a reason then I’m not leaving.”

“T-there is.”

“Tell me.”

He couldn’t say it. Couldn’t say what he knew needed to be said. Which they all agreed needed to be said for her to leave. She needed to leave. It was the only way they could keep her safe.

“It’s just, things happen, don’t they? Just life, innit?”

“That isn’t good enough, for fuck sake! You know that! Give me a reason-”

“I want too-”

“Cause this isn’t right-”

“Bloody hell-”

“Just fucking explain why your all-”

“Because we don’t love you anymore!”

And it was then the world shattered. Everything seemed to explode, fall out of place, everything but those words. Steven was breathing heavily, face red. She looked at him, a heaviness behind her eyes as she realised he must be serious. And then she was leaving, not even grabbing a jacket, just going out in the cold, London air, but she didn’t even feel it. She hardly felt a thing.

She once enjoyed the comfort of the Steakhouse. It was where she first met Steven, actually. He was smartly dressed, eagerly awaiting his date. But after a few times returning to take his order, it was clear that his date wasn’t going to arrive. She felt sad for the man, and when he did order, she offered to sit with him.

From there, Steven Grant fell madly in love for the girl who sat with him when he was sad.

And it wasn’t long before Marc and Jake fell too.

Sad, now, that the place full of memories, and where she worked every day, was tinted with sorrow and heartbreak.

“Alright, Y/N, your on-table service, Maya, you’re on till.” Y/N looked over to her co-worker who cocked an eyebrow before the drilling shift began. The first couple hours went by smoothly, normally, as Y/N took many orders of many couples, families, friends. She had the same smile plastered on her face- even to the particularly rude regulars who she always vented about after her shift, normally to her boyfriends… no, don’t think about them.

It was towards the end of the night when the restaurant got gradually less busy. Y/N breathed a sigh of relief as she noted it was nearly closing time. She couldn’t wait to get back to… her friend’s flat, where she was currently residing until she found something more permanent. It didn’t feel like home, far from it, and it made nowhere in her life feel safe.

“Table 4 is ready. Warning, Y/N/N, it’s a couple. Looks like a first date.”

“Ugh, great. Just what I need.” She replied sarcastically, and Maya gave her a sympathetic smile.

“Want me to do it?” Y/N sighed and shook her head, offering a smile in return.

“I’ll be fine. You, go, before John kills us both.” The pair laughed before Y/N adjusted the apron on her waist and got her notebook for orders. The table was outside, candlelight reflecting the stars in the nightfall. It was perfect for a date, a romantic nostalgia settling comfortingly around the area. Each table was like a small circle of the world, just for whoever was sat there.

She remembered when she was there, in her own corner of the world with the ones she loved most.

She had to shake her head of the thoughts, reminding herself that it was, in fact, over.

The London air was chilly, and she stayed in the doorway for a brief moment before going outside. She saw the table she was to tend to, and prepared her brief interaction as she always did, making her way to the table.

The first person she noted was a woman, hair long, fingers tapping against the surface of the table. Her voice couldn’t be heard from this distance, the buzz of the city drowning out any words that weren’t in direct distance for. The next person was facing away from the door, face out of view. They were sporting a head of dark, curly hair, but it was morphing with the dark, and Y/N couldn’t observe much else.

She reached the table, eyes still down on her notepad, preparing for her normal line: “Good evening, what can I get for you both tod-” But when she looked up, her world stopped. The buzz of London was a mere silence now as her eyes were locked with ones she knew so well for so long. That had left her not so long ago now.

Steven.

She knew it was him. she could tell by the slight widening of his eyes, eyebrows knitting together in confusion. She could tell by the way his mouth was slightly agape, searching for words he wouldn’t be able to find in the vast swirl of his mind, and 2 others, no doubt.

Y/N almost forgot where she was until a small cough brought her crashing down to reality. “Excuse me, miss? You sort of trailed off there.” A posh British accent broke the air, and Y/N turned her attention to the woman Steven was with.

“Oh!” Too enthusiastic. Y/N flinched at herself, starting again. “My apologies. I must have lost my train of thought. Um, oh right! What can I get you today, both of you?”

“Let’s start with a bottle of red, then I’ll have rare with a side of mash.” Y/N nodded, trying to ignore the fact they were there. When she had scribbled it down, she attempted to act normal when turning to Steven.

“And you… sir?” He tore his eyes away from the depths of the table to look into her eyes. He tried to form a coherent sentence but instead settled on the words:

“Yeah, I’ll, um, have the same.” Y/N just nodded, muttering her usual ending line of ‘be with your shortly’ before practically running from the table. Her heart felt heavy, and tears filled her eyes as she quickly slipped into the staff area to catch her breath.

Seeing Steven with someone else? That hurt. They had moved on. Truly. And she was stuck in limbo. Her heart still belonged to them. She stayed a moment longer before realising she had to pass the order on, wiping her eyes and shaking her head, before exiting to the kitchen. After passing the order on, hardly looking at the pad, she tried to forget what was happening.

But he was out there. Steven, with his adorable smile. Steven, with his sarcasm and jokes that had her crying. Steven, with the loving, doe eyes in pretty much every situation. And beyond him, there was Jake, stern but sweet, passionate but quiet. And there was Marc, the perfect mix of all. They were out there, forgetting about her, relishing in another’s company. And whilst she so desperately wanted to be happy for them, move on and forget, she couldn’t.

There was a time they were her future, and she couldn’t bring herself to make them her past.

The order for ‘table 4’ was shouted twice by the chef, who was unimpressed both times. Y/N apologised, taking the dishes, hearing words like ‘incompetent’ and ‘slow’ as she left- she resisted the urge to throw the dishes at him.

This time, she was ready for the sight at the table, but no more prepared. Now, she felt dread as she saw the familiar curly hair. But, putting it aside, she returned, wondering if Steven had explained the situation to his unsuspecting date.

“I’ve got one steak, rare with mashed potatoes,” she started, putting the dish down in front of the woman, “And one vegan steak with green beans.” She hardly looked as she placed the meal in front of him.

“Vegan? He didn’t say vegan.” Oh. Y/N realised she had ordered Steven’s usual, not what he ordered. Her eyes widened in embarrassment as Steven looked at his meal then back at her.

“Oh, I’m… I’m so sorry, let me get that for-” In her haste, she accidently knocked the wine bottle off the side, and it fell to the floor with a SMASH. “Shit!” Everyone outside instantly turned to the scene, Y/N instantly on the floor trying to pick up the glass as Steven’s date stood up in anger.

“What kind of a place is this?! Wrong order then smashes the wine…” the voice was clouding out as Y/N felt overwhelmed with emotions. She heard the manager step out, trying to calm down the angry customer, who only stopped when he assured her the meal was on the house with a free dessert. She heard her manager’s angry grumble for her to be inside as soon as she finished cleaning up her mess. In the heat of it, she didn’t notice her hand bleeding from a particularly sharp bit of glass. She must’ve looked awful, because hands were suddenly helping her off the ground and escorting her back inside.

“C’mon, love, it’s alright. Let’s get you cleaned up, shall we?” She hardly responded as she was lead into one of the bathrooms and sat on the closed toilet seat. “Let’s hope this doesn’t get infected, eh?” Gentle touches cleaned the wound and it felt so familiar, so safe, that she forgot it was him. Sniffles left her every so often as Steven muttered something every now and then. But apart from that, it was silent.

And then, the touches stopped. And it was done. She looked up to see Steven already staring at her, seemingly analysing every detail of her face. The tiredness in her eyes, the gentle frown on her lips, which he would do anything to kiss. “Why did you come here?” She whispered softly, breaking the silence in the space.

He knew she worked here; they all did. Was it a technique to make her jealous? Was it to flaunt their new love? Was it to cause her pain?

Steven was quiet and he seemed to be battling the others in his head. She noted him looking at his reflection in the mirror longer than he had to before he turned back to her. She was almost surprised to see the overwhelming sadness behind his eyes.

“I needed to see you.” What? She shook her head, getting off the toilet, a moment to fast, wincing as she felt dizziness cloud her for a moment. Steven rushed forward to help her, but she stepped back.

“You were with another woman.”

“I know.” He muttered guiltily.

“You came to our first date spot.”

“Please…”

“You broke up with me, remember? You don’t… didn’t love me anymore.” Steven suddenly shook his head desperately, tears falling freely from his eyes.

“No. Y/N… my darling… no. I c-can’t do this. Take the body, someone.” And then it wasn’t Steven, it was Marc. And the look of sadness morphed into one of regret and a familiar softness that was only reserved for her.

She pushed down the urge to fall into his warmth, deciding instead to further distance herself. “Is your hand okay?” And she groaned in exasperation, throwing her hands in the air.

“It’s fine! But what’s not fine is this. You. Coming here. I’m glad that your moving on but I’m not there yet, okay? I’m trying to be happy for you, all of you, but seeing you is a reminder of what we had, what we lost, and I just…” she tried to stop the flood of emotions, but it was getting harder to contain. “Please, just… go.”

“Marc, we can’t make her go. Not without an explanation.”

“You heard the bird. She isn’t safe with us. She could fucking die Steven, because of us. We have to do this. Jake agrees, don’t you, Lockley?”

Silence followed by a “Si.” Steven was struggling with the idea. Breaking up with you to protect you. Because of what Konshu had said. He couldn’t lose you. but this was losing you and hurting you in the process. He couldn’t live with himself if he hurt you.

“We all need to be on board. We all need to do it. Cause she won’t accept it; our girl is stubborn.” Marc tried to laugh but it came out as a cough, as if he was choking on fear. Because they all feared it, losing her. But they knew it had to be done.

They all knew the pain of losing her in life was more bearable than the fear of losing her in death.

“I just… I can’t. I love her. Gods, I love her more than bloody anything in this life, and every life.”

“I do, too.”

“And that’s why we have to let her go.” Jake said, sternly and authoritatively. They all knew the risk. And they knew what had to be said.

Steven hardly fronted after it happened, to consumed with sadness and despair. Marc did the daily tasks whilst Jake focused on the rest. Steven had only agreed to go on a date when Marc and Jake deduced to get over someone, you had to get under someone.

It wasn’t working for any of them.

And whilst each handled the break-up in different ways, it all lead on the same destructive path; her. Thoughts of her corrupted every action of every day. Memories of the past. Good ones. But worst were the flashes of her after, the distraught look of desperation and bewilderment on her face when Steven had to say the words ‘we don’t love you anymore.’

It couldn’t have been further from the truth.

With every fibre of their beings, they loved her.  

But Steven couldn’t resist when he saw the Steakhouse where he had met her, saw the place his love originated. He needed to see her. Needed to see that she was okay, better without them. What he didn’t expect was her getting hurt. He felt like it was an omen, a sign that danger follows him and that they were right to end it. But seeing the pain still etched on her beautiful face, and oh the way she got him his usual order by muscle memory alone... he needed her in his life. Without her, he wasn’t living; simply surviving. Hardly, at that.

So, Marc took control. Saw the way she stood away. Saw the way her eyes avoided his. He didn’t want to leave her, not again. It was hard enough the last time. For all of them. But alas, they were the ones that needed it. So they had to respect her wishes to leave.

“Please.” He just nodded, turning to go to the door, unlocking it. But before he left, he turned around.

“I'm sorry. The last thing I, we, wanted was for you to go.” Y/N suddenly noted something Steven had said.

“Wait... Steven said he didn’t want this. Didn’t want what? What’s this Marc?” Fuck, his name sounded so right coming from her lips. But Marc had to remain strong, so he shrugged. “Your lying. Just tell me the truth. What didn’t he want?”

Marc sighed. Always so stubborn. “Any of it.” Y/N looked around in confusion and was about to respond when Marc said, “I’m sorry again. I’ll go.” And he was leaving. She felt like she had been through a washing machine, head spinning and mouth dry.

Any of it.

What did that even mean?

When she left the bathroom, her manager was waiting for her, followed by a concerned looking Maya. Fuck. In the rush of it all, she forgot about the actual matter at hand. She was only half present as her manager shouted, hearing words like ‘embarrassing’ and ‘unprofessional’ thrown at her. But she was more fixated on other things.

When she was finally dismissed, thanking Maya who offered to do close up, and of course a chat, she made her way home. Home. What even was that? It certainly wasn’t her friends sofa. Nor was it her parents place. There was one place in the world where she felt safest, no matter the circumstances.

And she was stood outside the door now.

She didn’t know what she was going to say as she lifted her (uncut) fist up to the door, ready to knock when the door swung open. It felt like a cliché, the moment in a romance where there’s rain and tears and kissing. But there was none of that. Just a heavy energy between her and the third alter, the other who owned a piece of her broken heart.

Jake.

“Oh.” The sound of disgust left his mouth and Y/N swallowed harshly.

“I need to talk.” Jake didn’t have time to react as she barged past him into the flat. The smell was comforting, hugging her senses, as she took in the stacks of books, the sand, the dirty dishes slowly piling up. It all felt like home. That feeling of utter warmth and safety.

“Mierda." She heard him whisper but she was determined to get answers. “You shouldn’t be here.” She could tell by his tone that he wanted to sound serious, but there was an edge to his voice, one which made her think he didn’t mean what he was saying.

“Well, I am. And I’m not leaving until you tell me the truth.” Jake took off the cap on his head, throwing it to the side, already knowing she was being serious. “Can you give me that?” Jake heard Marc telling him it was a bad idea, that she would break them. Jake was their strongest, the last to fall for her charm- or at least the last to admit it.

“Sí. Fine.”

“So… did you come to my place of work just to see me?”

“No. Well, I didn’t. Steven did. Warned him against it, both of us. But he did anyway. Look where that took us.” Y/N felt her heart drop slightly at that. Maybe he did want her to go, leave forever. But something inside her, something stubborn and persistent, argued that wasn’t the case.

“Okay. Do you all miss me? Or is it just Steven?” Of course, we all miss you, are you insane? We can’t live without you, amor. Fuck.

Jake bit his tongue at the words pouring in his mind, instead opting on a shrug.

“That’s it?” Y/N scoffed. “So, you didn’t, then? You just moved on, like that?” she punctuated her words with a click of her fingers and Jake refrained the urge to groan.

“I don’t know what you want me to say.”

“Fuck, Jake! I just… I want closure. I want to know selfishly that I’m not the only one who feels like their fucking dying!” No. he knew he couldn’t hold on much longer if she cried. He couldn’t see that pain again. But there it was, in her trembling lip, her glassy eyes, her furrowed brows. He had to look away.

“Look, maybe you should-”

“No. I still have one more question.” She sniffled, trying to stop the tears from falling, trying to remain strong in front of the men she loved. “When did you stop loving me?” Jake finally turned to look at her, heart dropping when he noted her watery eyes were already on his. He could hear Marc telling him what to say, what to do that would solidify it, keep her safe forever, but even those words were cracked, blurry.

“We…” he was trying to find the words. Trying to find it in himself to lie again. But her eyes… those loving eyes, that were filled with so much ache, a longing he’d never seen before.

I can’t do it. What? Fuck… I can’t do this. Give me the body, then.

But Jake didn’t want to. Didn’t want to send her away, no matter how much he knew he should. “Well? When did you fall out of love? Was it me? Did I do something?”

“Stop.”

“That’s all I need to know. Then, I’ll leave. Forever, this time. If that’s what you want. Is it?” Jake pinched the bridge of his nose, willing himself to remain calm, to stop the compulsion, the absolute need for her taking over. “Why don’t you love me?” Perhaps it was the way her voice broke as she said this, or the way the alters stopped talking for a moment, but suddenly, Jake couldn’t hold back anymore.

He strode forward in a fast motion, and Y/N was about to say something else when his lips were on hers. She hardly needed to adjust as he kissed her with so much built-up passion, she felt dizzy. She hummed in surprise and content, hands fitting on his neck, pulling him impossibly closer as he cupped her face in his hands, feeling every detail he missed so dearly.

“Fuck, I missed you. Missed you every day.” His words were followed by his hands. Which were travelling the crevices of her body, making her gasp.

“But you left me… all of you.” It was a sobering reality which made her step away, him following suite. And then Marc was there, eyes instantly shutting in regret. “Why?” and this time, when she asked the question, Marc knew he had to give her an answer.

“Konshu… we made some pretty bad enemies, sweetheart.” She ignored how the name made her heart quite literally swell, “He reminded us of the risk. That they could use you to hurt us. So… we decided that keeping you safe meant you not being with us at all. That way, we can’t get you hurt.” Y/N was in disbelief.

“That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.” Marc’s head snapped up to look at Y/N, who’s arms were crossed over her chest. “You listened to the bird? And didn’t speak to me first?”

“There was no negotiation. Your safety is first every time.”

“You don’t get to decide that. I could die at any point in any day.” She was walking towards him now which each word, “Yes, there’s a risk being with you. But it’s a risk I would take. Every single time, every single life. I choose you. All of you. I love you all and that’s enough to keep me safe and happy forever.”

“Oh, baby.” Marc was filling the distance now, pulling her into his arms and burying his face in her shoulder. “I’m sorry. I just, we couldn’t risk losing you. Love you too much.” And there it was, the words she so desperately craved to hear since the moment Steven retracted them. Y/N looked up at his face, tracing his features with her fingertips; over the bridge of his nose, along the bush of his eyebrows, following the valley of his eyelids, until she cupped his jaw and brought him down for a loving kiss.

Marc’s exterior broke fully as he indulged in the love he had so painfully missed. The love he had to fight to keep away, for the sake of the person who owned his heart. “Can we…” Y/N started, hating that she was pulling away but tired of standing, “lie down for a bit?” Marc smiled, nodding and interlocking their hands.”

"That’s all I want.” But as she pulled him to the bed, he suddenly tugged away. She was surprised, turning to face him, noting how he was faced away from her. His shoulders were hunched slightly, hands in front of his body, fiddling with his fingers anxiously; Steven.

“Hey,” she started, smiling as she saw him there. But something was off. He began shaking his head.

“I can’t.” He whispered. Her heart dropped as she rushed forward, placing a hand on his shoulder comfortingly, but it startled him slightly.

“You… what’s wrong? Steven?”

“Can’t look at you knowing what I did.” Y/N swallowed the growing emotion down in her throat, squeezing her eyes shut briefly.

“It’s okay-”

“No! It isn’t! I-I brought a date to our place. You cut your hand ‘cause of me! Blimey, I told you that we didn’t… love you. Caused you pain, I did, and I cant forgive myself. I won’t! “

“You did what you thought was right. What you all thought was right. And I’m not mad, okay? I just, I missed you. Fuck, I missed you so much. Please, Steven, let me see your face.” She felt her heart squeeze as a shuddering sob left his body, and she wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her head on his back and finding his hands with her own. “ ‘s okay, Steven, I’m here. I’m safe, we both are, hm?”

And finally, he turned around, practically collapsing into her arms, bringing them both down onto the floor. They were a tangle of limbs, desperate to find the comfort in each other that they had been deprived of. She realised she was crying too, face wet with his tears and her own. “I didn’t mean it, any word of it. My love… Y/N/N. I’m sorry, so sorry. I h-hated myself for what I did. Felt like a git, still do. But I mean this from the deepest bits in my heart: I love you. and I never want to lose you again, alright?”

She just nodded, whispering terms of endearments to him. And they faced each other, Steven analysing every detail of her face so he she would be forever etched in his mind, and Y/N, staring at her future.

And it was as if all the 3 broken pieces of her heart returned in an instant, making her blossom with love and hope. And in that moment, intertwined on the floor with the men she loved most, she had never felt safer.

[yawarakaizai]

I LOVE YOUR AESTHETIC SM!!

i was thinking..

gn doll reader with nikolai.. i feel like he’s obsessed with dolls (bj dolls/porcelain dolls) he’d treat you delicately and.. ahh.. i need HIM. CARNALLY.

ⵌ THIS LITTLE WORLD IS YOURS TONIGHT

SENDER Doll ! Reader (GN) RECIPITENT Nikolai Gogol (BSD) CONTENTS He took the utmost care of you, treating you how he believed you should be treated. He loved every part of you, and that included your feisty temper, even when he was so nice and caring towards you. NOTE bratty reader, pet-names, usage of 'daddy', possessiveness, suggestive content, genitalia mentioned (or rather lack thereof), mentions of fyodor + sigma, size difference, reader is a ball-jointed doll, non-sexual nudity, rich nikolai lolol, spoiled reader, mentions of punishments/implied punishments (spanking), feminine clothing (dresses) COMPANY Smarty

A/N hii ano n! tys m f or your req (>///<) nikolai is one of m y fav es actu al ly, , hes s o swe et , craz y and aa aa a <3 i hop e you enjoy this small fic! !! it was f un t o write ꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱ i th iink nikolai would be s o silly w/ a re ader who' s a dol l !! he'd p air well w ith a br att y doll .. s o here 's th is !! \(^///^)/

" Noo! I don't wanna! "

Your whine was met with an exaggerated sigh of mock-sadness.

" Oh, but please! You'll look utterly adorable in this! "

One thing about you was that once your mind was made up, there was no way of convincing you otherwise. It was always your way. At least .. usually.

" Don't wanna means I don't wanna. "

You stood in the middle of the room nude, your hands placed on your hips, your head turned to the side away from the man knelt on the floor before you with his pleading eyes, a white gown bunched up in his hands.

Stubborn is what you were. And goodness, did Nikolai not love and hate it at the same time.

You were his sweet, spoiled doll. He wouldn't want it any other way.

" Ya know I love you best when you're behaved, doll. " He was dumb to think you'd relent your attitude so easily. Nikolai was being soft today, thankfully. On a hard day, he would've had you crying out bent over his knee promising to be a good doll next time.

Peeking from your shut eyes, your glass eyes stared curiously and intently on the dress he insisted to hell and back you should try out.

Frilly, short and virgin white - like every other garment he'd buy for you.

You most certainly are appreciative to have such a generous daddy. One who'd adorn you in only the best of dresses and accessories, showing you off to all who'd have the misfortune of coming across Nikolai.

He'd boast about how lucky he is to have you, with you shyly hiding behind his large stature, your fist gripping onto the hems of his shirt for your own comfort. You were timid around others that weren't your daddy. You'd shrink at compliments from others and cling to Nikolai; afraid to lose him.

Nikolai adored you for how bold you were with him. No matter the façade of a pure, innocent angel you'd display to all - he knew just what you were in private.

" Fine. But only this dress. Otherwise, I'll go straight to Dostoy and tell on you! "

" Yes! Yes, oh, how sweet you are! "

Standing up to his feet, he immediately began to tie the matching garter to your porcelain thigh, tightening it enough to ensure it wouldn't slip off.

" You'll look beautiful. I could not rid the thought of you wearing it from my mind. " He rambled on, guiding your head through the many frills of the dress, pulling your arms into the sleeves and smoothing out any wrinkles in the fabric.

You found it to be too short, as you'd find when you'd spin around the dress would ride up with the air and thus exposing the area humans considered intimate.

Although you possessed no genitals, Nikolai still found your body erotic.

" It's too short. " You'd protest, to which he'd reply, " It's perfect. "

It could be said Nikolai found you aesthetically pleasing to look at, as many would come to agree. Even Dostoy - as you'd call him - began to take a keen interest in you, requesting for your co-operation in being his muse for a while.

He had painted a lovely portrait of you. One you kept in an expensive gold frame, hung over your prized vanity table.

You did not pry too much into your daddy's life, and that included his relations with Dostoy. All you knew was that Dostoy was above the other, and the two had mutual respect for one another.

" Can you sit still for me, doll? Need't put these on ya. "

Nikolai rummaged through the many shopping bags he had hauled into your room, not expecting to have caught you during your brattish hours.

Nodding in silence, you allowed him to clip bows and pearls to your soft hair, having to kneel down to properly align everything perfectly and just the way he wanted them to be.

By the time he was done, you could feel the weight on your head having increased from how over-the-top he had gone.

" Daddy.. "

You huffed, puckering your red lips childishly.

" You look elegant, I promise you. "

Placing his hand on the lower end of your back, he carefully guided you towards your full-body mirror hanging adjacent from your large wardrobe.

Studying your reflection, you stared up at his grinning face. " You look dumb. " You remarked, continuing to twist and twirl. It wasn't that bad.

" I knew it'd be perfect, " He creeped behind you, wrapping his arms around your hips with his head resting atop of yours, " ya gonna thank your daddy for bein' so kind and sweet, aren't ya doll? " He murmured, lightly letting some of his heavy weight loosen on you, immediately making you yell out to him.

" Hey! Watch it! Daddy! Too heavy! "

You did your best to support him as he only laughed over you, " Catch me, catch me, doll! " he joked around, threatening to faint at any second, soaking in your desperate attempts at hoisting him back up.

In one fell swoop, he swept you off your feet over his shoulder, in the process, accidentally letting a stray bow come undone, falling to the floor below.

" Gonna go parade ya to Sigma. "

He praised, hand straying up your skirt and onto your bottom, in response you immediately whacked his back, stifling an "ow!" as your delicate hand forgot how tough he was, especially his upper body.

" Think he'll get mad when he realises I spent his money on all this? "

" Daddy! "

©yawarakaizai 2023 ﹒﹒ reblogs appreciated! requests open :3 it s 4am . ... @.@

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Carpe Noctem 29

Warnings: dark elements, noncon, age gap, gaslighting, manipulation, violence, blood, other dark elements. Proceed with caution. (short!reader)

Note: Please let me know what you think as it helps me a lot with ideas and I love interacting with you all.

Part of The Club AU

“I should go,” you get up as Cole comes back in the back office, “I’m so sorry about today–”

“Go? Where?” He asks as he stands in the door. “Back to that maniac?”

“Well, I…” you swallow and let out an exasperated sigh, “yeah, I have to–”

“You don’t have to,” he insists, “you shouldn’t. Someone that angry can be pretty dangerous.”

“I know, it’s just–” you have no argument, no excuse, just the truth, “I don’t have anywhere else to go.”

“You don’t?” He wonders.

You shake your head and grab your jacket from the rack, “I’ll be fine. I’m sure he’s calmed down. I shouldn’t have lied–”

“But you did. For a reason. If that’s how he reacts… you never mentioned a boyfriend,” Cole shifts on his soles.

“Boyfriend?” You almost laugh, “no, not exactly.”

“It’s complicated, got it,” he nods, “well, you were wrong, you know?”

“About what?” You take your pure of a lower hook on the rack.

“That you don’t have anywhere to go. I’m just putting it out there,” he raises a hand to rub the stubble along his jaw, “if you need somewhere to stay, er, my parents’ could spare a guest room.”

“Oh, Cole, no, I couldn’t. That’s too much. I’d hate to impose on your family like that.”

“Uh, you definitely wouldn’t be. My mom would love to meet you,” he lets himself smile, “I brought home some of the extra treats and she loved them. She’s a baker too.”

“That’s— that’s sweet,” you shrug and look away, “I just don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

“I wouldn’t suggest it if it wasn’t,” he insists, “but I really don’t feel great about you going back to a man like that. I’m big enough to defend myself, but you…”

You know he’s right. This isn’t the first time you’ve seen Lloyd get violent and just like with Johnny, it’s only inevitable that it turns on you. You’re not exactly excited to go back to that house.

“All my stuff…” you begin, arguing with yourself as much as him.

“My ma has some stuff she can lend you for the night,” he offers, “as long as you don’t mind flannel. And I’m sure you could use a nice warm meal.”

“Cole,” you rub along your jaw evasively as you look away, “I just… I feel so bad about putting you out. Your parents too.”

“You’re not. You know, I think you surround yourself with the wrong people. The sort that make kindness seem like a debt to be paid back. You don’t owe me anything. I’m just being decent, like anyone should,” He turns his hands out. “But if you say no, I’m not letting you walk out of her without my phone number. And you have to promise to call me if anything goes bad.”

You frown and look at your feet. Lloyd could use the night to cool off just as much as you. You cross your arms then force them straight. He’s entirely right. You’re letting all those others people who bargain courtesy like currency colour your doubts. Why should you begrudge him the action of others when he’s only ever been nice?

“Did you ask your parents? I don’t want to be a surprise,” you chew your lip.

He smiles, “I texted ma but I’ll give a call before we go. Trust me, you’re more than welcome.”

☕

The drive is longer than you expect, but not. You should’ve figured that the farm would be out in the country. At the same time, you never factored in the time it must take Cole to commute each day. It whittles another ounce of appreciation out of you. He seems too kind for his own good.

That generosity sees you in his passenger seat. You left your car behind at the cafe to save you gas and the trouble of driving. You didn’t fight too hard. You want to be in one place and still.

He steers down a long dirt road and as the moon disappears behind a thicket of trees, the land turns desolate. Your chest sinks just a little but as the silver light breaks free again, you let out a breath of relief. Ahead you see the yellow windows of the farmhouse and dark colossus of the barn not far behind it.

Cole pulls up behind a big red truck and shifts into park. The motor cranks slightly before he turns it off. You can’t help but wonder how someone like him came to own a cafe in the city. Maybe after so long in the rural desert, the urban sprawl must be alluring chaotic.

He gets out first before you muster your strength. He comes around, startling you as he opens the door for you. You thank him, the gentlemanly gesture almost jarring. You’re so unused to kindness, it unsettles you. That should tell you something. It’s a ringing cry for change.

“Are you sure…” you begin the same question you’ve asked every five minutes for the last hour.

“Sure,” he interjects firmly, “really, ma always cooks too much and my sister’s off finding herself. Again. She’ll be happy to have you around.”

You nod and climb up the wide porch steps beside him. He pulls back the screen door and waves you in ahead of him. A fragrant aroma draws you in; roast beef and roasted veggies. The homey glow embraces you, welcoming you without a word.

“Here,” he tugs on the back of your jacket, “I’ll get this.”

He hangs his own coat as you undo yours and hand it over. He puts it over his own then beckons you on. Hesitantly, you follow his direction, walking down a walnut trimmed hallway to a dining room decorated in faded florals and pine.

“Ethan,” a woman calls through before she appears in the doorway across from you, a large dimpled glass dish in her hands, “oh! I thought you were your father– eee! This must be her.”

She rushes to the table and sets the steaming dish on a potholder. She still has her oven gloves as she sweeps around the room, “Beverly,” she introduces herself, pulling you into a hug, “I’ve heard so much about you.”

“Uh,” you gulp as she squeezes you, only releasing you as Cole clears his throat. “I’ve heard a lot about you too.”

“Really?” She nearly squeals, keeping you at arm’s length, “he didn’t say you were so pretty.”

Your eyes round and you let out a nervous giggle. Cole groans under his breath and brushes his hand over his sandy hair. It’s kind of cute when your own parents were never so excited to see you.

“Thanks, that’s too sweet,” you smile, “erm, thanks for having me.”

“Oh, of course, of course,” she titters as she lets you go, “Cole always had a soft spot for those in need.” She turns to him and touches where his cheekbone is still red from his scuffle with Lloyd, “and look at him, my knight in shining armor. How many times do I have to tell you not to fight? You never were very good at it.”

“Ma,” he urges her away from him, “I’m fine.”

A ding chimes from the kitchen and she springs back, “oh, that’s the dumplings.”

She spins and hurries off, leaving you off balance. You slowly face Cole and put your hands on your hips, “so how much did you tell her?”

“As much as I know,” he rubs his neck sheepishly, “I’m sorry. I didn’t want her to freak out when she saw my face and– it wasn’t anything that makes you look bad.”

“That’s not what I’m worried about. I don’t want to be a charity case,” you cross your arms.

“Trust me, you’re far from it,” he assures you, “really. I want you here.”

You don’t know what to say. You don’t trust your own judgment. Whether he means it or not, it hardly matters. You’re just grateful to have a night away from it all. Some time might be just what Lloyd needs to grow some common sense.

[justblades]

𖣯 FOR THE : SLICK&SLOPPY! 500 EVENT

♡ CHARACTERS : mysta, sonny + alban x gender neutral! reader

SCENARIO : SWEATY SEX WITH THEM ! WC: 1.6k

WARNINGS : SMUT, MDNI. choking, sick sex (?)

MYSTA — it was all cramped, dark, and most of all— it was fucking hot. the three things you despised the most meshed together all in one, the redeeming factor of the situation was having your walls pounded by a rather bizarre male who claimed himself to be a detective. as you keep making erotic mewls from the way he dicks you down, he does the same by panting heavily and moaning groans as well.

"what detective would fuck a person just because of temptation!?" you struggle to voice out, brows knitted so tight while you keep your arms propped on the olden oak table creaking with the slightest movements. your body keeps on racking back and forth from the unfamilar's pounces, but shamefully, you liked it. so he wasn't the only one indulging in the impulses. "just . . just shut up for god's sake." his ink black gloved hands are wrapped around your lower belly, assisting you to be in sync with his rhythm.

earlier, your clothes were all skillfully stripped by the detective, in contrary to him whose clothes are still on, white straight slacks just unzipped to let his throbbing dick spring out. even though you're the one who's sweating like hell already, as if all the stickiness in the world clung onto your body, you could only feel bad for the other party. "hey, being fully clothed isn't gonna do you any good." you suggest and ponder if he's gonna pick up what you're trying to say. 

"alright, unbutton my clothes then." it was surprisingly easy to convince him to remove his garb too and he decides to flip you over, making you face him now as you're still leaning on the ligneous desk table. your eyes only widen in exchange, "remove my clothes." his gaze narrows into your eyes and upon locking a lustened glance with his aquamarine hues, you feel as if you were invited to a trance you've never been to before. "hello? are you still there?"

his light yet raspy voice snaps you out of your thoughts. his tone sounded like if it was meant to mock you but you inched forward to his body nonetheless. sitting up straight from the table as he stands across from you, you reach your hands forward and took your time to unbutton his top. "so? name?" you query to the grizzle haired. "mysta." surprisingly short of an answer, his thick lashes batting at the sight of you helping him remove his button down. upon stripping himself free of his uniform, you saw his torso glistening with sweat from the dim lightings of the surroundings.

you were admiring his chiseled build and the broad plane of his chest when suddenly, he pushes you on the tabletop once again and shoves his dick back in. "—and that's all you're ever gonna get." he adds to his last response, meanwhile more squelching noises continue to reverberate inside the secluded vicinity. with faint vision from how mysta has been doing you, beads of his sweat from the forehead roll down on doplets, landing on your bare skin. even if it was such a blurry view, you could admire how his sharp features were accentuated from his dampened hair, dangling in directions along with his actions.

SONNY — "take care of me, yeah?" the blond poorly says, his voice was melodically soft yet sounding very fatigued at the same time. a small pack of ice rests on top of his forehead, his eyes closely shut to take a well deserved rest. you intertwine your hand with his as you mumbled with a low, "of course." he beams you a small smile in return, appreciative of the sweet gesture.

you turn away from the sick officer to grab something from your back, when all of a sudden he parts his lips open again. "but . . i kinda miss us having sex." whipping your head back to the direction where sonny was laying, you peered into his soul tht he could feel the pressure of your strong glare of daggers. "i-i'm sorry! i shouldn't have said that." the male stammers and purses his lips into a thin line in response, while you seated there, shocked.

but perhaps it wouldn't be a bad idea to let him have it in his way right? you thought to yourself until you finally had the resolve to do it anyways; proceeding to carefully position yourself on top of him. sonny lets out a gasp as he feels a weight sinking down on his muscular body but his hands immediately find their ways curling on your waist, flashing you a toothy grin right after with a heavy-lidded, alluring gaze. his azure hues ablaze of lust and tiredness pierce into yours, some of the lightest streaks of his hair framing his pretty face shape.

sonny looked like someone in dire need of help, and that was what you're doing. you slowly stroke his erection underneath the fluffy sheets encompassing his lanky figure, earning ragged breathings from the blond beneath your touch. "s. . slowly." you look back at him to see him sweating rivulets of liquids already from his forehead. you nod and slowed your pace of heating the moment up in your own ways such as grinding your lower region against his crotch, palming through his thin white shirt in search of his sensitive hard nipples. slowly creeping up to his face, you plant an open mouthed kiss right on the mole of his neck, to which the male couldn't resist but bite down on yours as well.

"sonny!" you whimper once you feel your skin bare naked by sonny's swift movements, capable of stripping you even though he was at a bad shape. "i'm gonna . . put it in now . ." he slowly utters with heavy breathing and when he finally thrusts it in your hole, you squirm feeling your walls mold around his shape and girth. he bucks his hips upwards to ram into your walls and pull out the next second, to which his slit was creaming already with his juices making lewd noises. the sounds of skin slapping and viscous liquids being shoved back into your hole repetitively echo inside his room, you were unable to stifle your moans.

as you rest your head on his neck, you could feel his body's boiling temperature and forgot for a quick moment. "wait, sonny. let me do it for you, you're sick, remember?" you sit up straight once you straddle his thighs, rubbing his tip againsy your fluttering entrance. he hums in approval and you could swear you were starting to sweat too. atleast not as much as the male under you, but still, the moment you put it in was the moment the two of you bathed in sticky sweat altogether having sex in spite sonny's sickness.

ALBAN — he lifts your leg up with his dominant hand, the free one wrapped around your neck like a pretty choker adorning the body part. his feline like eyes tainted of two colors flicker to your body, fangs beaming as he hisses on you. "you know why i'm doing this, right? i'm doing this to get answers."

you chortle at the thief in front who's doing all kinds of stuff to pleasure you, concealing his true intentions with sham excuses such as the latter. "yeah, the answer is inside me so hurry up and go." with a conceited smug grin, he finally shoves himself, a heavy breath heaved once he feels you clamp around his dick like it was its first meal.

"fuck, hurry up and spill it!" the male was wearig his full gear hence why the discomfort was making his body feel restrained, more sweat forms underneath the layers of protective clothing slowly dripping down on his skin. the constant nervousness of someone about to walk upon you two having an intercourse when he's on his duty irks him a shit ton; but what can he do when he's literally in front of you? "no can do." you respond, purposely getting on his nerves.

alban scoffs in exchange, brows furrowed as he continuously rams into your hole. you attempt to do your best at stifling your mewls of pleasure, but you weren't able to keep it up at all when he's doing everything to milk you dry of crucial information. he curses mentally at himself, why did his enemy have to be so sexually appealing he couldn't keep his hands off of you. "god damn it, it's so fucking hot in here." he says, letting go of your leg to wipe the cluster of sweat forming on his skin.

due to the frustration; both in his duties and sexual feelings, he unintentionally thrusts in deeper and faster than ever, stirring the carnal desire searing in your body with his rock hard cock. your moans become ragged in tune, getting cut off everytime he enters you. "oh wow! you're feeling good! now tell me, where is it?" the mocha haired exclaims, his hold on your neck tightening. although this was your first experiencing something like this, if it was alban, you're surely enjoying it.

"i won't tell until you cum though." with the corners of your lips tugged upwards, you grab alban by his arms and turn him over, making you sit on top of him with his dick still buried in between your sticky, tightened walls. while you continue to pounce on him up and down, you comb through his sweat drenched locks with your fingers. "you're cute when your hair is soft and fluffy but you're so sexy when you're sweaty." you poke fun at the male and he grits his teeth as a reaction. however, seeing him so submissive and perspiring underneath your body was a sight to behold, one that you should forever remember.

[stillfrownyclownlol]

I'm making Tyler x Logan propaganda but for now take another ship ask thingy whatever (shoots my fucking brains out) <3

This is also...long... 🫠

PRE-RELATIONSHIP

1. How did they first meet?

They knew *of* each other since elementary school, but they met officially when they got grouped together for the Savannah project.

2. What was their first impression of each other?

Tyler: Nerd. Wished he'd stop mumbling all the time, it pisses him of.

Logan: internal crying. Jocks are scary lahdhosjdjd- (thought he was handsome tho)

3. Did any of their friends/family want them to get together?

They had never thought about them like that haha. Logan pretty much periodically told the whole squad except Tyler 💀 so they were all like very subtly encouraging him. Taylor was VERY excited. Aiden would be SO obvious about it but luckily Tyler is kind of oblivious. Ash and Ben are just watching the whole thing go down.

4. Who felt romantic feelings first?

Tyleeeeeer. Dork.

5. Did either of them try to resist their feelings?

You know they would 🤡 Whatever let me have my angsty gay pining leave me alone 😭

6. If you had told one of them the other would be their soul mate, what would they think?

Logan: He would combust into flames and melt into a pile of stuttering and blushing.

Tyler: he'd probably punch you.

7. What would their lives be like if they had never met?

No phantom dimension! Tyler would probably get a baseball scholarship to some nice uni and Logan would get a scholarship cuz he's super smart. I think they'd be alright but probably a lot more emotionally stunted

GENERAL

1. Who initiated the relationship, and how did it go?

Tyler because Logan Gen/ thought he was straight so he'd legit never brought it up. Ngl Logan prob got injured and Tyler was just ranting and confessed on accident hihi ❤️

2. Did they have an official first date? What was it like?

I think yes. I think Logan would ask him and they'd do smth very low pressure :) Go out to eat somewhere (not a fancy place) and then walk around the park or smth until night time, so Logan can geek out about the constellations. Normal friend stuff...but they both know it's a date so they're freaking out. Then Tyler holds his hand and- *slams my head into a wall*

3. What was their first kiss like?

Awkward. They bumped their foreheads together since they tried to do it at the same time. Tyler instigated it :)

4. Were they each other's first anything?

Logan: Tyler's first kiss (with a boy) and first relationship

Tyler: Logan's first kiss (In general) and first relationship

5. What's their height and age difference?

Tyler is 187 cm (he did not get those short boy genes lol) and Logan is 164 cm, so I think that's like, 9 inches? Tyler was born in August 2000 and Logan in December 2000, so only 4 months.

6. What's their relationship with each other's families? Do they share a friendgroup?

You know they share a friend group lmao.

Logan gets along very well with Marianna :) she thinks he's super sweet and he doesn't mind her eccentricity. Taylor loooooves having Logan as a "brother in law" ^_^

Tyler's relationship with James and Mary is...testy 💀 they don't mind the fact that he's dating a boy but they HAVE heard Logan venting about how insecure he is in the friendship because he thinks Tyler hated him. Tyler doesn't really appreciate being reminded of all that and the fact that they might antagonize him. They're working on it for Logans sake.

7. Who takes the lead in social situations?

Tyler usually, he's not afraid to call somebody out on their shit :) Logan is better at mediating tho.

8. Who gets jealous easier?

Logan is more insecure than jealous. Tyler is just normal jealous 🤡 he's a little itty bitty bit possessive...👍🏽

9. Who whispers unsuitable things in the others ear?

Technically Tyler does, but not like, on purpose. They might just be out somewhere and some guy will be being mildly irritating or whatever and Tyler will mutter "this fucking clown" to Logan. Logan is always "!!! Ty!" Lmao

LOVE

1. Who said "I love you" first?

Logan! He definitely cried while saying it too haha. I think Tyler would say it back...after kissing him mwah mwah.

2. What are their primary love languages?

For Tyler absolutely acts of service. It's what he's used to haha. Likes to cook for Logan and help him around the shop (while James and Mary are watching him like a hawk) :) Receiving, tbh, he just likes when Logan wants to spend quality time with him.

Logan...also acts of service; for a long time he valued himself on how useful he was to somebody and its still how he evaluates his relationships. He helps Tyler with homework he doesn't understand, helps him with chores around the house, etc. He really appreciates words of affirmation, makes him feel more secure ^_^

3. Who uses cheesy pick-up lines?

In the beginning it was Logan, he bought a book and everything 🤡 he always fumbles the delivery tho help him. After a while Tyler says them cuz he likes messing with Logan and watching him get flustered lol.

4. How often do they cuddle/engage in PDA?

It is 2016 in Georgia, they don't engage in any PDA 🤡 as if Logan needed another reason to get harassed. They like cuddling in the privacy of their houses tho, but just the standard amount ^_^

5. Who initiates kisses?

Tyler will generally ask Logan to kiss him, since he's a little awkward about initiating.

6. Who's the big and little spoon?

Tyler is pretty protective so he likes being the big spoon, but if Logan asks he's also fine with that. He likes rubbing Ty's stomach due to the injury he got there U_U

7. What are their favorite things to do together?

Logan: STARGAZINGGGG. Nothing makes him happier than infodumping :D Ty likes listening to him anyways so. He also likes going to Tyler's games cuz, you know, he wanna be supportive and all that. Plus he thinks he looks sooooo cool while playing.

Tyler: Something chill, he's like, consistently tired lmao. He just likes spending time with him, he doesn't mind if they're just laying down studying or listening to music, or just talking to each other.

8. Who's better at comforting the other?

Tyler is, surprisingly. When Tyler is upset he's just generally mad and needs to cool off alone, plus Logan isn't really good around people who are angry haha ":). When Logan's upset he tends to be more teary eyed, so Tyler just hugging him and reminding him to breathe is enough.

9. Who is more protective?

Tyler 🤡 I don't think I need to elaborate aldhoshd

10. Do they prefer verbal or physical affection?

Tyler: physical because verbal affection flusters him a lot.

Logan: verbal because physical affection flusters him a lot.

....Help them, lol

11. What are some songs that apply to their relationship?

*Points to Red's Spotify playlist*

(This doesn't really make sense but Campus by Vampire Weekend reminds me of them by proxy because I was listening to it while I drew them lmao)

12. What kind of nicknames do they call each other?

Logan: Will usually call him Ty. "Babe" if he's up to it haha. When they're older he probably calls him the usual ones like honey or sweetie :)

Tyler: probably something real cringy considering that carrot-top nickname he gave Ash. I mentioned Starboy and Cielo before. I think he'd call him "Bizcochito" (porque le quiere comer a besos jajajajaj)

13. Who remembers the little things?

They're both very detail oriented so they remember all those things.

DOMESTIC LIFE

1. If they get married, who proposes?

Since gay marriage was legalized in June 2015, for most of his life Logan pretty much never thought he would be able to get married. So he proposed to Tyler. Was crying profusely the whole time and dropped his cards haha.

2. What's the wedding like?

They couldn't find a church that would bless their marriage even tho Mary and James had asked for it. So they just got married at city hall. BUT they did have a super big after party with all of Tyler's extended family >:) Logan has no idea what "gringo" means but he's not thinking about it too much.

3. How many kids do they have, if any?

It was really fucking hard to adopt one :") one girl because I said so and this is my list

4. Do they have any pets?

They have a few cats because for a long time they couldn't adopt any kids. It's good for Logan's enrichment, even though the cats don't really like Tyler lol

5. Who's the stricter parent?

Tyler loses his temper easier, but he's also way more likely to indulge their daughter so like, he is stricter, but he's not very consistent about it lmao. Logan is better at disciplining Tho.

6. Who worries the most?

They're both worrywarts kkkkk Tyler a little more tho, it's the ✨️anxiety✨️ kicking in.

7. Who kills the bugs in the house?

Tyler will scream if he sees a bug so 🤡 Logan is very used to bugs because there's usually a few in the plants, so he'll catch them and throw them outside.

8. How do they celebrate the holidays?

Tyler isn't really big on holidays, but he'll help Logan put up decorations and stuff if he wants to. They generally go visit their family and friends U_U

Tyler does celebrate Día de Los Muertos as an adult tho, he spends most of the day at his dad's ofrenda. Logan is there for moral support, and they'll call Taylor and Marianna if they can't come over for any reason.

9. Who's more likely to convince the other to come back to sleep in the morning?

Tyler's naturally an early bird and Logans a night owl, so Logan will pull him back into bed haha.

10. Who's the better cook?

Tyler's the better cook and Logan's the better baker.

11. Who likes to dance?

Tyler! He's a bit reluctant to admit it tho, but he's a good dancer and he loves pulling Logan by surprise to dance bachata or cumbia hihi

[gay-dorito-dust]

Can you maybe do reader getting her ears pierced and Xavier being there for support. (I just had mine done and yes maybe I'm to big to being crying over it but it hurts😭)

A/n: let me tell ya, I was scare shitless getting mine done too. Funny story though I had my ears pierced the same week I had to go swimming with my primary school.(which was every Tuesday afternoon)Needless to say I couldn’t go swimming for while until my piercings had healed and settled.

Also yes I’m making Ajax have snakebites also this was kinda meh and rushed.

“You’ll be fine y/n, after all it’s just a little pinprick.”

“Just a little pinprick? Xavier, my earlobes are going to be stabbed by a needle! No numbing cream, no nothing, just straight up raw earlobe stabbing.” You told Xavier as you sat nervously in the chair whilst the woman who’d be piercing your ears was collecting the necessary materials for the procedure; You’ve wanted your ears pierced for awhile now but after reading up on scenarios where something went wrong as you were in the midst of preparing yourself for your up coming appointment; your desire for getting your ears done quickly turned sour in your mouth.

Xavier sees that you were genuinely second guessing your decision and reaches out to hold your hand tightly within his. “It’s going to be okay baby, Your in safe and professional hands, they know what they’re doing and besides,” he leant towards you as though he’s sharing a secret, just between the two of you, “i think your very brave for getting them done.” He says as he leans back against the chair humbly provided for him. “Really?” You asked, still a little unsure of yourself. “Oh yeah! I don’t think I could get my ears pierced or, god forbid, get tattoos.”

You giggled at his over exaggerate attempts of cheering you up because it was defiantly working to some extent. You were grateful that Xavier decided to tag along because if he hadn’t, you would’ve for certain bolted out of the room and straight back to Nevermore with your tail between your legs. Having Xavier with you, sacrificing his hand as your temporary stress toy whenever you got short glimpses of the needle that would be prodding holes into your ear lobes.

You honestly didn’t know how you got through life at this point without Xavier being there to calm your overreactive mind and sooth your worries with his logic and reassurance; Yet sometimes you can’t feel as though you let him down for being the way that you were, even after he tells you otherwise. You still get that feeling within your chest that one day he’d grow annoyed of having to console you about everything and tell you to grow and deal with it like everybody else; However you knew this to not be true as it wasn’t in his character but that didn’t mean you feared for the nearby future when you wouldn’t have Xavier by your side. As for now you chose to appreciate and love him whist you still had him in your life, by your side to do so.

After your laughter subsided you gripped Xavier’s hand, smiling softly at him. “Thank you for coming here with me Xav, I honestly don’t think I would’ve made it past that doorway if it weren’t for you.” The long haired boy only huffed playfully as he leaned into once again, though this time it was to press a kiss to your forehead. “Don’t sell yourself short, sweet cakes for your a lot stronger then you believe yourself to be.” He utters into your hairline before pulling away. “I mean you haven’t bolted out of that door yet. So that’s an good thing!”

Just as he says that, the woman doing your piercings came back to the room with a selection of jewelled ear accessories ranging from small studs to ear stretchers alongside the needle and some materials to sterilise it so that you wouldn’t get infections or any other complications. The nervousness came back with a vengeance as the worst case scenarios came flooding back to the forefront of your mind as your breathing bang to pick up erratically; your grip on Xavier’s hand only increased in grip as your chair was pulled out flat as a board and you were instructed to lay down and to get yourself comfortable but with your body being bombarded with internalised panic, your movements became rigid and stiff that it too you longer then it probably should’ve to lay yourself down.

“First time?” The kind woman asked, flashing you a smile as they began to set up. “Yeah. Is it that obvious?” You responded, still a little rigid with fright. “Your not the first person who’s came in here for an piercing. I remember there was a Gorgon kid who came in here the other week asking for snakebites.” You and Xavier shared a look of mutual confusion. “The Gorgon’s name wouldn’t happen to be Ajax Petropolus by any chance?” Xavier asked as he gave your hand another reassuring squeeze. The woman looked over at him with raised brows, “yeah, how did you know him?”

Xavier shrugs, “he’s a friend of mine. After he got his snakebites he had nothing but high praise for your professionalism, which is why we’re here today.” The woman only smiled at the compliment, “that’s how I keep my business running,” she say before turning back to you. “You ready champ?” You breathed a heavy sigh before looking over at Xavier who only smiled at you encouragingly, lifting up your intertwined hands to show that he was still here for moral support. You looked back at the her as she patiently awaited your answer that you replied with confidently, “I’m ready.”

[katiifaetarot]

Before we start:

Thank you to that anonymous person/message i recieved last night regarding my previous tarot reading blog post, I only recieved one, but boy did it make me feel better about my current path and where i am headed! Thank you for taking the time to send that message, i greatly FKN appreciate it and it gave me confidence and drive to keep going today!! ♡♡

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Hello friends, beings, and starlights! This is my third tarot reading on here and Im new to the tarot community (at least on this specific platform) and would like to help guide, give honest/TRUTHFUL advice, and be a safe space for anyone+everyone who feels safe here! 🧚🏽‍♀️✨️

My goals/intentions are always to help others through my experience, to teach/guide them to work on themselves, and encourage them to find the strength, courage, discipline, and honest wisdom within themselves, without looking for outside validation!

** I AM NOT A MEDICAL OR HEALTH PROFESSIONAL; PLEASE USE YOUR OWN JUDGEMENT AND DISCERNMENT TO DETERMINE IF YOU NEED OR WANT TO SEEK PROPER HELP OR TREATMENTS FOR YOURSELF OUTSIDE OF TUMBLR OR SOCIAL MEDIA!!

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Today's reading is short, simple, sweet, and straight to the point: Messages you need to recieve for the New Month starting today! Feb 1st, 2024 ( sooo its not timeless but also is timeless b/c time is wacky and weird HA )˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

There are 4 piles and you will be picking through your pile's SPECIFIC Oracle Card! (may sound confusing, but basically, you're picking using the word associated with your pile's oracle card for today!!) which is right below this text! Feel free to look at the specific photos for each pile if you feel called too!

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✨️🧚🏽‍♀️please choose your pile and may your intuition and inner knowing guide you to the pile with the energy most suited for you and most suited to help you along your path at this current point in time, no matter what that might sound like🧚🏽‍♀️✨️

PILE 1- Mindful

PILE 2- Soulful

PILE 3- Peace

PILE 4- Balance

** sometimes ( most of the time ) i will pick up on multiple energies that need attention or want to be expressed during the reading so i ASK YOU TO UNDERSTAND THIS DURING THOSE TYPES OF READINGS:

depending on how the reader chooses to look at the situation or however the situation resonates for the reader and because this is a general reading;

⚠️you HAVE to be able to use your better discernment + better judgement skills to fully absorb the message and be able to do the necessary work to keep you on track for the future you WANT for yourself⚠️

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PILE 1: Mindful

New Month Message(s): FOCUS ON FILLING YOUR DAILY LIFE WITH QUALITY SITUATIONS, FOCUS ON BALANCING OUT YOUR LIFE AND YOUR INTERNAL HEAD SPACE, FOCUS ON CULTIVATING YOUR DESIRED FUTURE!!

Stop paying attention to people,places, or things that no longer matter. This new month is trying to teach you the lesson of mindfulness. Which means stillness.....which also essentially means meditating and not being afraid of silence. Patience.

Sometimes mediating can be standing on your front or back porch for 1-5mins in nature, absorbing what you're grateful for in that particular moment or letting go of someone/something which no longer brings you peace or no longer helps with cultivating healthier habits. ((Take it how it resonates but be aware there are soooo many more examples that could apply here as well, just use YOUR discernment and trust your intuition please!!))

The point is that meditating looks differently for everyone, or maybe the same sometimes!! But regardless, you must find a way to fully tap into the silence that will help you learn patience this month.

And yes this will take mental fortitude and strength on YOUR part to fully absorb + CREATE these moments that help you find balance, rest, MINDFULNESS, resiliency, PATIENCE, etc. But that word create is important here b/c, YOU HAVE TO BE PAYING ATTENTION TO HOW YOU FEEL, WHAT YOU NEED, WHAT YOU WANT, WHAT YOUR BODY NEEDS/WANTS, WHO IS AROUND YOU, etc!!!! to even CREATE a space or CREATE time for yourself that focuses on the practice of mindfulness.

(( some of you have to be willing to admit that you might need some proper rest first before you can even BEGIN a mindfulness routine for yourself that will stick!! ))

YOU have to do the work or else you wont see the changes you want. YOU also have to accept things for how they are now and be willing to see your mistakes and do better.

This month will be huge for you, if you allow yourself to fully feel what needs to be released, start cultivating mindfulness for your future endeavors, and just resting. Just rest and allow yourself to feel the flow of life while also understanding: You are a human, who is doing human things, and living a human expirence; So tap into the hope, strength, and wisdom that comes along with this journey called life.

Also dont be afraid to do things differently!! Maybe you're the trendsetter of the century ;)

This month is all about believing in yourself pile 1, So Just Do It !!!!!!

Things to do OR look into this February:

Yoga or Meditations on YouTube, Going out to classes that focus on Meditation or Yoga in the real world, REIKI, Listening to chakra meditations while you sleep ( specifically getting sacral + solar plexus chakras ), Taking walks in nature to appreciate things around you.

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PILE 2: Soulful

New Month Message(s): TAP INTO YOUR DEPTH, TAP INTO THE PRIDE YOU FEEL FOR YOURSELF AND HOW FAR YOU'VE COME, TAP INTO YOUR MOST LOVING, AUTHENTIC, RAWEST FORM!

Pile 2, this month is all about being authentic(soulful) WITHOUT FEAR! dont let your fears or doubts hold you back from doing or being what you want/need for yourself right now!

Collaboration could be HUGE this month if you're willing to change how you view yourself, your skills, your abilities, your achievements, your- etc!!! Focusing on building yourself up instead of tearing yourself down will make new possibilities and opportunities happen for you.

Stop doubting and playing the victim! Its time to stand tf up and CELEBRATE YOURSELF!! You have done alot of work and gone through HEAVY situations to get yourself to here and now. So BE FULLY AND TOTALLY proud of yourself for how far you have come and get excited for more!!!

You know life isnt fair to good people sometimes, so why dwell or wallow when you could just as easily Journal about w/e is or was bothering you and let that SHIIIZZZ gooooo!!!

Dont carry unnecessary burdens. Tap into your passion, your drive, YOUR DETERMINATION!! flourish in your authentic and soulful self! Dont be afraid of showing up how you've always wanted to show up in the world! Its okay to be different, cooky, wacky, WEIRD!!! as long as you're happy......who gives a FDDUCK!

CERTAINLY NOT YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE TOO BUSY BEING YOUR WONDERFUL, INSPIRING, RICH IN ABUNDANCE SELLLF TO CARE!!

You're ready to take on life and all its battles, you are a fighter-WARRIOR- and truthfully life only gets tougher, but it also gets easier to deal with once you trust yourself to handle anything that MIGHT come your way by utilizing your skills and abilities for your betterment instead of using your preceptiveness as a way to hurt yourself or tear you down.

Things to do OR look into this February:

journaling, dressing up however you want, going out and expirencing something new, do something you're afraid of doing, sit with your accomplishments and thank yourself for how far you've come but also acknowledge the road to your future in some way.

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PILE 3: Peace

New Month Message(s): DONT CHASE BUT ATTRACT WHAT YOU DESIRE, FOCUS ON YOUR NEEDS, CULTIVATING EMOTIONAL BOUNDARIES // BETTER BOUNDARIES IN GENERAL!!

Pile3, you're so soft, nurturing, kind, gentle, nice, and so many more wonderful words but you're also stubborn(>_<)

Its not about the outside, its about the inside. Refocusing your attention on what you NEED to calm your mind and what you NEED to balance out your dreams with your reality, etc.....will do wonders for manifestations coming in or out!

You're beautiful pile 3, and this month is asking you to focus on yourself before going out and trying to fit new people in your life. Focus on the ones you have now that give you care, attention, and love in healthy ways********* while also getting rid of people that dont respect you or deserve your kind and compassionate energy.

This month is about Tapping into your emotions and understanding that EXPRESSING your emotions will ultimately bring you closer to what you desire....but you have to forget about what you want. Focus on what YOU NEEEEEEEED!!!!!

Dont chase, Attract means believing that what you want(deserve) wont pass you by, and the more you enjoy your own company and get to know yourself deeper, the more you can appreciate things around you and maybe even find that SP or New Job or NEW ANYTHING!!

save yourself for the correct people, but first you must do the necessary work inside yourself to even trust yourself enough to show up infront of the correct people authentically and unapologetically too.

work on maintaining and setting the healthy/proper boundaries within yourself to help you express any or ALL boundaries you will have with other people later in life! Dont be afraid, use your voice! If someones reaction is less then pleasant when enforcing a boundary......leave. They dont appreciate or respect you.

Seriously get rid of any negative self talk or negative people/energies in your life! Stay calm and present as you navigate who needs to go and what in your mind also needs to go.

Things to do OR look into this February:

feeling your raw emotions without shame, saving money, shifting perspectives, taking self-care days seriously, more YOU TIME! setting and maintaining boundaries, releasing the anger, sadness, hurt, or all of the PAST IN GENERAL!! Forgiveness is key--either towards yourself or someone else.

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PILE 4: Balance

New Month Message(s): BALANCE YOUR MIND TO BALANCE YOUR SURROUNDINGS, HEART NEEDS SOME HEALING, HERMIT MODE NEEDS TO BE ACTIVATED SO YOU CAN FOCUS ON YOURSELF WITHOUT DISTRACTION!!

okaaayy pile 4 :(, im.sorry for any loss or heartbreak you may have suffered recently or in the past that still affects you and your mental state.

But its time to move on. Maybe not forgive, just yet, but a release needs to happen so you can fully enjoy your life again.....or even just enjoy YOUR energy again.

This will require a hard stop and HARD look into what is causing imbalances in your daily life. Continuing to walk away from old cycles, patterns, ways of being, ways of doing, comfortability that keeps your complacent, fears, doubts, etc. Will ultimately help you keep a balanced mind and calm demeanor too.

Allow the hurt to wash over you first, of course....but your self care this month is fundamentally about bringing back balance to your life that has grown overcrowded with too many commitments and responsibilities.

Which is why You NEED to take either a mini hermit mode ( if you can//when you can ) or a HUGE HERMIT MODE!!! so that the hermit mode will afford you with opportunities to get rid of what no longer needs to be bothering you and help you focus on what NEEDS your attention.

Feeling suspended or stuck right now might make you feel uncomfortable, but working through the uncomfortableness to ultimately get yourself to movement on the other side will be so worth the lonely nights and harder ones too. Once again, i am truly sorry but i also believe you can get through this too!

Things to do OR look into this February:

reading that book you have, reading a completely new book, try a new recipe!, make space for quiet time for yourself, look into those projects you've been wanting to make progress in, making time and putting effort in yourself!

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I sincerely hope you received what you needed and released what you don't !! See you again soon!! Take it easyyy and just breathe and fllooowwww!!! you got this! byyeee~🧚🏽‍♀️✨️

**please let me know how I'm doing in any way you can! that is the easiest way to support me and also a good way to signal to me that I should keep going + any helpful advice from the community would be welcomed and appreciated 🥺 🥹 🙏🏼

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⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️

**ONCE AGAIN, I AM NOT A MEDICAL OR HEALTH PROFESSIONAL; PLEASE USE YOUR OWN JUDGEMENT AND DISCERNMENT TO DETERMINE IF YOU NEED OR WANT TO SEEK PROPER HELP OR TREATMENTS FOR YOURSELF OUTSIDE OF TUMBLR OR SOCIAL MEDIA!!

⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️

[meiliarotten]

Team Fortress 2 Kinktober Time Two: Electric Boogaloo

Day 10: Belt (Impact Play)

🔞MINORS DNI🔞

Pairings: Medic x Fem!Reader

Summary: Medic’s belt just wouldn’t leave my mind until I wrote this.

Tags: Impact play, riding crops, belts, spanking, teasing, aftercare, improper use of the Disciplinary Action

Word Count: 2.6k

The Masterlist

“Are you certain about this?”

You weren’t sure how many times Medic had asked you some variant of that exact same question in the past ten minutes. His concern was sweet, and you definitely appreciated it, but it was starting to become tiresome, especially when you were standing in front of him clad only in your underwear. You stepped over your discarded clothing, cupping his cheek with a soft smile.

“I am absolutely sure,” you said, moving from his face to run your hands over his chest, pulling playfully at the buttons of his vest. Medic looked like he was about to say something else, but before he could you reached up, looping your arms around his shoulders and pulling him down into a kiss that quickly turned heated. It was a rare moment where you took the lead, biting Medic’s lower lip gently, sliding your tongue against his.

You couldn’t help but notice that he seemed a bit tense. His movements were slower, more calculating and cautious. This man, who gleefully hacked his enemies apart with a bonesaw on a daily basis, was anxious about hurting you, nervous to deliver pain that you had explicitly asked for. It struck you as not only ironic, but also somewhat adorable.

“It’s alright,” you whispered breathily, finally parting for air. “I promise I’ll tell you if I want to stop, and if anything goes wrong, we can fix it easily enough.” You nodded towards the bedroom door which led straight into his infirmary, where the Medigun was housed outside of battle.

Medic grinned, seeming to regain a bit of that signature smug attitude. “Very well then,” he said, beginning to slip his fingers beneath the waistband of your underwear. In a quick motion, he pulled them down and let them fall to the floor. He tilted your chin upwards, making you look at him. He wanted your full attention as he told you exactly what he wanted. “Lean over the bed, eyes forward. Don’t look back at me until I tell you to.”

There was that commanding tone you loved. With a shiver, you seamlessly slipped into your submission as easily as Medic took to a more dominant role. “Yes sir,” you said as you leaned over the mattress, staring ahead.

As it turned out, keeping your eyes forward was actually a surprisingly difficult instruction to follow when you could constantly hear Medic shuffling around behind you. This was especially true when you heard the recognizable metallic click of a belt being unfastened. Still, you didn’t look back, not even daring to move until you felt Medic’s palm on your lower back, which made you jump.

“So obedient, gutes mädchen,” he crooned, rubbing small circles over your back as a warning that he was about to begin. “Let me reward you.” The sharp sting that you felt immediately after he spoke made you gasp in surprise. What had just struck you most certainly wasn’t a belt. Medic chuckled, clearly pleased by your reaction. “You may turn around to look now, if you would like.”

You did, mostly because you just had to see what you had been hit with. The sight you were met with was Medic standing behind you, smirking and holding a familiar riding crop in his hand. You let out a short laugh. “Soldier’s going to lose his shit if he finds out you took that. Especially for something like this!”

Medic simply shrugged, clearly not paying much mind to the opinions of his teammate. “That’s a problem for later, meine liebe, For now, I just want to hear more of those adorable little sounds you make.”

The sound of the crop whipping through the air and striking you seemed almost deafening, especially given the relative quiet of the room. That noise was also the only warning you got before the sharp stinging sensation hit you, always managing to make you squeal, much to Medic’s delight. You were glad to see he was enjoying this as much as you were, clearly getting a bit creative as he began to aim his strikes on your upper thighs, right below your ass, trying to mark you in difficult to conceal places. After all, you were in the middle of a desert. Shorts were pretty much all you owned for the sake of comfort. He was marking you for all to see, showing everyone you were his. The realization only aroused you more.

Medic paused after a couple minutes of this, kneeling down to examine the stinging red stripes painted across the backs of your thighs. “Wunderschön,” he whispered, almost as if speaking to himself. He placed the crop to the side on the nightstand, and when you looked back you saw that his belt was also there, presumably another implement he planned to use on you. Your thoughts were interrupted by pain as Medic squeezed your thighs, making you hiss as the stinging flesh was touched. “How ever will you explain these to the rest of the team, liebchen?” he teased.

“Maybe I’ll just tell them the truth,” you responded, glancing back at him with a mischievous grin. “After all, then they’ll all know exactly who I belong to.” You didn’t miss the way Medic’s breath hitched at your words. It gave you a bit of self-satisfaction to catch him off guard, even if he did regain his composure a moment later, standing up and pacing back over to the nightstand.

You watched as he considered the crop for a moment before his hand moved to the belt. Your eyes widened in anticipation. “I see you looking, liebe,” Medic said, catching your gaze. You blushed, embarrassed as you quickly looked forward again.

“Sorry,” you said, trying to quell the heat rising in your cheeks.

“No need to apologize, I did say you could look now anyway.” Medic picked up the belt, turning it in his hands. “You’re quite fond of this, aren’t you?”

“A little bit,” you stammered, knowing there was no way to deny your interest. You had eyed Medic’s belt several times in the past, especially when he was being rough with you. You had occasionally snuck into his dresser drawer to feel the soft leather between your fingers, trying to imagine how delicious it would feel to be struck with such a fine implement.

“Oh I think it’s far more than ‘a bit,’” Medic chuckled, immediately calling you out. “I’ve seen the way your hands linger on it whenever we undress each other, and the slight twinge of disappointment in your eyes when I toss it to the side before fucking you.”

You let out a gasp when Medic rested the belt on your back, trailing it downward, letting the leather raise goosebumps on your skin and send shivers up your spine. He expertly built up your anticipation with every passing second. “Please,” you begged, barely above a whisper.

When the leather left your skin you whined, but your complaints were quickly silenced when you heard the click of the belt buckle. Medic had fastened the belt around his fist, folding it and grasping it tightly in order to make sure the buckle wouldn’t accidentally strike you. With a wicked look in his eye, he smacked it into his open palm. The sound alone made you jump. He did it twice more, gauging how much pain could be inflicted depending on the amount of force used, although from your perspective, it just seemed like he was teasing you.

You heard him take a deep breath, and finally you felt the strike of the belt, making you shout. It didn’t sting as much as the crop, but the pain was deeper, and you could already tell from the lingering ache left behind that it would definitely bruise. Medic paused, waiting for you to collect yourself before he continued.

“Go on,” you said, realizing he was waiting for you to give the go ahead. That was all the permission he needed to stop holding back.

With the force of his arm and flicks of his wrist he hit the same area with several blows, making you cry out. Your legs felt shaky as he alternated between strikes and soothing touches to your reddened skin. He was shockingly good at this, taking care not to hit too high on your back, keeping the impact centered on your ass.

“You’re taking this so well,” Medic said between strikes. “Such a good girl.”

“Fuck!” you gasped when the belt came down on you again. You had lost count of how many times he had hit you, but that wasn’t too much of an issue. Medic only made you count if you were in trouble, and this was definitely more of a reward than a punishment. “How did you get so good at this?” you asked, genuinely curious.

“I may have researched a little when you first brought up wanting to do this,” he admitted. “I wanted to make sure everything was perfect for you.”

You smiled, even as Medic brought the belt down again. You were trembling at this point, legs shaky and fists grasping the bedsheets in a death grip. Your throat felt raspy from crying out before he finally hit you with a final, especially hard strike with a gorgeously satisfying smack. Medic stood back to admire your dilapidated form, ass flushed beautifully, legs shaky, having been thoroughly broken and enjoying every minute of it. But he wasn’t done with you yet

“Spread your legs, liebchen,” he said, suddenly very aware of the uncomfortable tightness in his trousers. You were in a dazed state, blissed out on pain, and you eagerly obeyed, standing with your feet further apart and leaning against the bed heavily to keep your balance. Medic slid his fingers over your slit, making you shiver and moan. “Gott, just look how wet you are. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you could come just from being hit.”

The possibility sounded tantalizing to you, even if you weren’t sure that it was possible. What you were sure of was that if Medic kept teasing you like this your legs were likely to simply give out. You wanted him inside you so badly.

“Well, as much as I would like to test out that hypothesis, I am not a patient man,” Medic concluded, pressing his hips against your ass to emphasize his point. You winced at the pressure, still very sore, but also smirked at the feeling of his cock pressing against you through layers of restricting fabric. “Get onto your back,” he ordered, delivering a final swift smack to your ass, this time with his palm.

You yelped, jerking forward onto the bed and flipping over, thankful that he didn’t plan to fuck you from behind. You were already aching, and in more ways than one. Your legs were already spread for him by the time he had pushed his pants and briefs just low enough to free his cock. The sight made you shudder, suddenly very aware of how desperate you were to be filled.

Apparently too impatient to undress any further, Medic hastily positioned himself between your legs, entering you with a low groan. He went slowly at first, even though you were wet enough to take him in one thrust. You wrapped your arms around him, gripping the fabric of his vest, trying to urge him to go faster. It was only when you started bucking your hips against his that he finally reacted, holding your hips still and chuckling at your efforts.

“Use your words, liebe,” he growled. “What exactly is it that you want?”

You were red faced, both with arousal and embarrassment as you spoke enough with clarity to even surprise yourself. “I want you to fuck me, sir.”

That was all Medic needed to hear. After all, he was holding out on his own pleasure too. Finished with waiting, he set a steady yet rough pace, drawing moans and gasps from you with ease, still keeping a grip on your hips for extra leverage. The way your dear doctor could so easily switch between inflicting pain and dealing out pleasure could almost give one whiplash. You were used to it though, and it had slowly become your favorite trait of his.

“Fuck, I’m close!” you gasped, already feeling the pleasure coiling within you, tight enough to snap at any moment.

“All this really did get you worked up, didn’t it?” Medic said, grinning down at you as you writhed beneath him. “You’re so much more sensitive than usual, coming so quickly for me.” He thrust especially hard into you, hitting your sweet spot perfectly. You nearly screamed, wrapping your legs around him to pull him into you, wanting him to hit that spot over and over again.

“Right there!” you keened before quickly adding a much softer “Please.”

That pathetic little whimper in your voice, your willingness to beg for him without question, was enough to send Medic over the edge. He let out a choked groan, quickly slipping his hand between the two of you to stroke your clit, not about the risk letting you go unsatisfied. His touch was more than enough to bring you to orgasm as well. You arched against him, gripping the fabric of his vest with such force that for a moment he thought the material would tear.

It felt like an eternity before the waves of pleasure finally began to ebb. When the two of you finally came down from your high it took all of Medic’s strength not to collapse on top of you. He just barely held himself up, eyes bleary and muscles trembling from exertion. It was nothing compared to the state you were in, though. On the outside you were red, bruised, and thoroughly ravaged, yet you felt like you had just had the best time of your life.

Medic looked you over with a smug grin, knowing that your glassy eyed expression, lopsided grin, and limp body were the aftermath of the pleasure he had given you. “I would ask if you enjoyed yourself, but the answer seems obvious.” He said, rolling over to lay next to you.

“That was fucking amazing,” you laughed weakly, turning to face him and pulling him into a kiss with the little strength you had left.

You felt him grinning against your mouth before he deepened the kiss, swiping his tongue over your lower lip and making you gasp. The two of you remained like that for a while, tongues entwined, limbs tangled lazily, parting intermittently for air with panting breaths until you remembered something.

“We should put that riding crop back where you found it,” you said. “Maybe we could return it without Soldier even noticing it’s gone.”

“Or we could end up getting caught trying to sneak it back into his quarters and get shouted at for half an hour at the very least,” Medic pointed out. “And I for one, am far too tired to deal with that tonight. It can wait until tomorrow, meine liebe.” Before you could protest any further you were pulled into his embrace, arms wrapped firmly around you, making it clear that he was not about to let you get up from the comfort of the bed. “Just rest with me for now.”

You gave him an incredulous look. It didn’t seem like the wisest decision, but you couldn’t help but agree that the risk of getting caught by Soldier was not one you were willing to take. You were exhausted, and the more you thought about it, the mere act of getting up, getting dressed, and trying to sneak the crop back to its rightful owner seemed like a gargantuan task. So you conceded, giving a wordless sound of acknowledgement before relaxing against Medic’s chest and giving into sleep.

[shegxox]

all too well. | KAY/O , Sova

kay/o's memories feel as fresh as though they only happened yesterday.

cw: a little bit of angst, a little graphic? not proofread

wc: hello long wtf why did i write this??

a.n: the effect of listening to all too well 10-minute version for hours straight. amma try to mimic how memory works on this one e.e– we all know that kay/o is from another timeline right? and we know about the radiant war right? right, okay. this one's long too bc of some lore so uh, enjoy!

previous : next

YOU walked through the doors of battle with him, headstrong with a brave heart that never stopped beating even until the end. Your prowess was something to be marvelled at especially in your radiance.

The short blue scarf tied on your bicep– the symbol of your allegiance to the people, yet a sign of treachery to your fellow radiants. Gaining the title of hope and traitor at the same time.

The only radiant fighting alongside humans.

"I am programmed to kill you, don't give me a reason to comply," KAY/O warned menacingly as he towered over your form, though you stood unwavering and even flashed him a gentle smile.

"It's nice to meet you, KAY/O. I hope we get along well."

If the robot could frown, he absolutely would be right now.

A radiant fighting alongside with humanity?

Now that's something KAY/O thought would be one of the most impossible scenarios to happen, and yet, here you are.

He and Brimstone even had an argument prior to your introduction. He just couldn't understand why his partner– his best friend, would trust someone like you– a radiant, to fight alongside them.

Could you believe it? A radiant? Literally the enemy?

To his dismay, he had no choice but to trust in his friend's judgement. To KAY/O, you were a ticking time bomb that could go off any moment and betray them as well. You betrayed your own kind, who's to say you wouldn't do the same thing to them? Just the littlest wrong move from you, KAY/O will gladly wipe you off from existence.

"KAY/O, I'm not doing anything shady," The robot flinched from his hiding spot behind a wall.

"Yes, I can see you from the glass window."

He lets out a grunt, standing up from his crouched position, only noticing the window in front of you at that moment.

You turned to him with a small smile, "Come, I'll show you what it says."

"Did your little radiant friends finally contact you." He stated, not as a question. He was hoping this was finally it. "Ready to betray us next?"

He watched as your eyebrows lightly scrunched together as your hand gripped the paper you were holding tight. Purple hyacinths sprouting on your head.

You forced out a weak laugh, "Not today, I'm afraid. Just come."

KAY/O thought for a moment before finally approaching you, noting how your smile widened as he came to your direction.

You quickly showed him the letter's contents.

"This is. . ."

You grinned, "Yeah, I know."

KAY/O took the letter from your hand, reading the words over.

"From the soldiers. . ?"

"They're thank you letters." You chirp, glancing at him and then back to the papers.

Indeed they were, and this was the moment KAY/O had to replay some events at the back of his mind. The people that you had saved and healed, their gratitude was written on these papers.

He then recalled a time when you worked tirelessly overnight just to get all the troops recovered from their injuries, healing them all back to normal in just one night.

Without your help at that time, their troops would've been easily outnumbered by Reyna's force the next day.

"It's a small and sweet gesture but," KAY/O turned to look at your smiling face, though you seem happy because of your expression, even he could tell that you held something else in your eyes.

"It's nice to feel appreciated."

After that encounter, KAY/O lowered his guard around you by around 50%. He realized that he's been too fixated on you being a radiant that he didn't acknowledge how useful and important you were in the battlefield. And though it was hard to admit at first, it is fortunate to have you on their side.

"KAY/O, behind you!"

He hears your voice from a distance and as he turns whilst dealing with the enemy in front of him, the enemy radiant behind his back raised their knife in an attempt to stab him.

Before they could, a thick vine sprouted from the ground, piercing the radiant through and through to their side before dropping the body on the ground. KAY/O pushed the initial enemy's limp body away from him before turning in your direction, your eyes glowing green with your left arm outstretched in his way.

He was about to utter his thanks when he spotted a radiant creeping behind you, their abilities about ti activate . Without skipping a beat, KAY/O threw his knife in your direction,

"Get down!"

Doing as you were told, you ducked and the knife came flying through the radiant's head. Looking over your shoulder, the enemy dropped dead as your area gets suppressed along you with it. The green glow of your eyes fading.

"Thanks!"

There were a lot of times when you could've betrayed them during battle. But you never did it. Even when confronted face to face by the Empress herself, you stood your ground and never faltered.

"What a shame," Reyna feigns a sigh. "You really did side with these insects."

KAY/O took an unfortunate hit from Reyna, and is currently on the floor, body glowing red.

He needed a reset.

You tried to remain calm, KAY/O was just infront of you, you just needed to contain Reyna to reach him.

"You may be right, they are insects." You breathed heavily. "But you're destroying the Earth. You're destroying me."

Reyna lets out a cruel laugh, "To build an empire you must start from scratch! This will be a paradise when this is over."

The empress stretched out her hand, palms open.

"I will give you one last chance." She announced, her eyes shining a bright hue of purple– full of fury, full of power. "Rule with me, Gaia."

"No thanks," You answered firmly. "Your side doesn't have a talking toaster."

With that, you punched the ground– sending waves of the earth in her direction. She used her radiance to quickly move out of the way and you took this chance to raise a high wall of earth.

Throwing yourself to KAY/O's side you quickly did his manual reset. You can already hear the enemy gunning down your wall from the other side.

"Come on, come on, come on!" You chanted as the wall started to crack. Finally, KAY/O rebooted

"Oh thank– Ah!"

Before you could even breathe in relief, you found yourself hauled up over the robot's shoulder.

"What the hell!" You shrieked. "Put me down!"

"Negative. We're going to retreat." KAY/O was getting the fuck out of that place. He just knows that there's a number of radiants on the other side of that wall.

"Yeah I know but please put me down!" You pleaded as your partner continued running, your fist repeatedly banging on his back. "I'm gonna throw up!"

"Swallow it."

"YOU STUPID TOASTER–!"

KAY/O finally trusts you. He genuinely found your abilities fascinating and whenever there's a rare time of free time, he would find himself around you.

"For you to create a creature, you must know it's anatomical structure and genetic code?" KAY/O questioned and you smiled.

"That's right."

"And you could create a new genetic code as well?"

"Yup."

"Huh, interesting." KAY/O held the small plump plant-like creature in front of him. "And that's how this creature came to be."

"Yeah," You patted the creature's leafy head. "I just got this design of him from a video game called Kenshin."

KAY/O instantly went on a search.

"An RPG video game that came out more than one hundre years ago."

You chuckled, "Yeah, it's practically an ancient game at this point."

He was supposed to be deactivated for the day but he found himself coming to your tent. Today's fight took a toll on you, and he couldn't understand why he wanted to see you.

From the beginning, you already knew you would be killing your own kind, so what's the problem now?

"Gaia." His tone was soft as he parted the tent to the side, taking a look inside your quarters. He found you sitting on the edge of your bed, turning to him with a tear-stained face and red eyes.

He felt something inside him. Seeing you like that, there was a feeling deep within his system and he couldn't figure out why or what it was.

"KAY/O. . ." Your voice was weak. "What are you doing here?"

". . . I came to check on you."

You sniffed, wiping your cheeks. "You didn't have to."

Standing up from your bed, you approached him, "I'm sorry, I don't want to see anyone right no–"

You suddenly felt a cool metal hand on your left cheek, making you pause your words.

"This is the first time you didn't greet me with a smile."

You gave him a puzzled look, "What–"

"It's alright." He cuts off again. "You don't have to smile all the time. You can cry, I'll be here for you."

KAY/O felt as though he was possessed by something, it was out of his character to say something like that and yet, those words naturally sounded out from him.

He stayed by your side as you cried, holding onto his arm. He doesn't know any other way to comfort you but he thought that this would suffice. When you eventually cried yourself to sleep, he positioned you gently back to bed before taking a sit on a nearby chair by your bedside.

KAY/O stayed with you all night.

"What happened, how is she??" KAY/O bursted through the tent of the medical ward, hurriedly searching for you.

Brimstone and Sova were the first he saw before finding you laying unconscious on the white bed.

He turned to his two colleagues, "Report."

"We don't know what happened." Brimstone sighed. "We were with her at that time and she covered me from above. But the next thing I know she came falling down and writhing in pain."

Sova stepped in and spoke as well, "We retreated eventually and took her here, but she's suddenly going through some changes."

KAY/O gave Sova a look, "What changes?"

Sova went silent, he and Brim sharing a look before stepping aside and motioning his hand towards your unconscious body. He took a closer look.

Your hands turned completely black up until your wrist. The dark color traced the veins on your arms as well, crawling up to your elbow.

"Mercy please," you huffed. "I can't take it any longer."

"Get up." KAY/O demanded strictly.

"No."

"I will not repeat myself."

"Then don't." You deadpanned, faceplanted on the ground.

The robot sighed. "It's only been 30 minutes. Get up now, Gaia."

You shot him a teasing look, "I thought you said you wouldn't repeat yoursel–"

The killer robot had enough of your delays, he simply picked you up from the ground like you were just a sack of potatoes and hauled you over his shoulder.

"Ah shit, not again." You whined. "Please put me down, I swear I won't run away."

"Ha, good joke." KAY/O continued his way to the training area.

"Please, my arm feels like jelly. Why can't I just use my radiance." You complained. "My aim sucks!"

"Exactly." Finally putting you down, you slowly turned around to see your new friends that you wanted nothing more than to blow them all up.

Aimbots.

"You gotta stop relying too much on your power." KAY/O scolded.

"I hate you so much." You murmured, frowning like an upset child.

KAY/O handed you a Vandal, "Then pretend the bots are me."

For once, KAY/O wanted to be what he really was. A robot. Devoid of emotions, no special connections nor attachments to anyone. Only focusing on duty, and duty alone.

His body felt heavy, with each step he took it felt as though he was walking in quicksand. He wanted to sink into the earth right then and there.

There was a stinging ache in his core, Brimstone's dog tag hung together with his own around his neck. His dear friend lying motionless on his arms.

KAY/O could hear the soft winds whirling as he trudged through the wasteland of a battlefield. And as if the universe hadn't had enough of his misery, just across his path was Sova, and he wasn't alone.

His grip on Brimstone went tight, nearly stumbling on his track before stopping.

'Please.' He thought. 'For once, let me be wrong.'

As Sova neared him, the man's eyes were dull and jaw clenched tight, his lips quivering ever so slightly as he tried to keep a straight face.

His colleague held his head down, shifting his arms slightly.

KAY/O looked at you in Sova's arms. You looked like you were just sleeping peacefully with a small smile on your face.

"I'm sorry. . ." Sova's voice cracked, forcing out his words. Droplets of tears hit your pale face as Sova's knees finally gave out. Kneeling on the cold hard ground, he still held your lifeless frame close.

KAY/O's pain turned into agony as he kneeled as well, setting his best friend's body carefully on the ground. He gazed at Sova mournfully.

He was one of the strongest soldiers he knows, and not once did he ever falter with emotion, but seeing him now– holding you desperately close to his build as he let his heart out for once. Tears ran down his cheeks whilst softly murmuring your name along the words,

"I'm sorry."

- - -

KAY/O finally snapped back to reality, his head flinching slightly as you reached out your hand.

"It's nice to meet you, KAY/O. I hope we get along well."

And there you were again with that same radiant smile that you always wore, the blue scarf around your neck, and the wind gently blowing your hair.

He remembers it all too well.

You glanced at Brimstone as the robot in front of you just stared dead straight at you, not knowing what to do. You were beginning to feel awkward with your hand stuck out in the open.

You thought of retracting your hand slowly. Figuring he might not be a handshake type of person, but before you could, you felt a heavy hand on your head.

"It's nice to see you again, Gaia."

Your eyes widened slightly.

'Again?' You thought as Forget me nots' strangely started to bloom on your head.

'What does that mean?'

[featherofdarkness-if]

Rated 17+ for gore, strong language, child abuse, animal abuse, and possible explicit content. It may result change as I progress with the story.

NSFW asks are welcome.

You are a Séraphinical.

A being with long wings, able to fly high up in the sky, a being blessed with immortality, and freedom. The humans admired your species from afar, until it became jealousy.

You witnessed it all. Your family was taken away from you, your friends, your closest ones, everyone, but the worst of all? Your freedom. The freedom your species fought the gods to gain, the many storms you have endured, only to disappear into dust, bloody dust.

You fought back, but despite everything you were captured, left alive for some shady scientific experiments. A question kept pondering into your mind, why were you left alive? You? The black sheep of your family? It remains unknown to you.

Many years have passed, they called you XVIII, your name ripped away from you. You are not just a toy, you’re an invaluable asset to them, you kill people you are tasked to kill. An ‘assassin’, you kill to live.

Will you be a puppet to the end? Or will you finally cut the strings that have been holding you down for all those years? Or perhaps... you will find someone that will hold dear for you?

• Play as a male, woman or non-binary.

• A ‘fully’ customizable MC, except for the wings details, and the height which can be: average or tall.

• Play as an experienced samurai, you have a deep black katana.

• Magic is a thing in this world.

Aialia | She/Her

ay-lia / Face Claim

Rich, is the first word you’d say first seeing her. She has slick black hair reaching below her ear, and clear hazel eyes that reflects the sun. She has tawny skin and leans in the taller average, around 6’1, and is japanese. She always, or most of the time, wear a formal suit, but keeps the tie loose. A silver watch on her left wrist, and a golden chain around her neck. Comparing to others ‘rich’, she cares for the others, always donating and helping the community, she is blessed by the gods... And the one you have been tasked to kill.

Her route is a mix of enemies to lovers and friends to lovers.

Xiyang | He/Him

xy-yang / Face Claim

Your bodyguard, well kind of, he is the one that is tasked to watch over you, in any means, to not let you escape your prison. He has straight black hair that almost reaches his shoulder, many freckles, and piercing black eyes. He is Chinese, has tan skin, and leans in the tall height, around 6'5. He wears a fully black combat suit, wearing short satin gloves. He is cold toward everyone, especially you, yet sarcastic at times, all you know is that he is not human.

His route is enemies to lovers.

Subject MCXII | Gender selectable: (She/Her) or (He/Him)

M-C-X-I-I / Face claim (This is for both genders).

A subject, like you, and the only one you grew close to. They have long hair reaching the end of their back, a mix of cherry red and ginger. They are 6'0 and have a muscled ivory body from all the experiments they have endured through the years. They have a long tail similar to one of a wolf, the same colour of their hair, and you can see some scars. At last, they have warm brown eyes. They usually wear the clothes the scientists provide, a loose white shirt and loose black pants, but they prefer to wear clothing that reveals more of their skin. They are always here to make you laugh, a talent of theirs, and are always sweet, only with you.

Their route is friends to lovers.

More ROs will be added in the future.

Reblogs are always appreciated.

[chrysalis-the-butterfly]

My Thoughts on the Roger Rabbit Novels

Who Censored Roger Rabbit?

The Plot: It's the 1980s, and human beings and comic strip characters ("toons") live side-by-side, albeit not on an equal social standing. Roger Rabbit approaches private detective Eddie Valiant and asks him to investigate a dispute he has with Rocco and Dominick DeGreasy, the brothers who own his comic strip. Roger claims his life is in danger, but Eddie, who's somewhat racist towards toons, doesn't take him seriously - which comes back to bite him when he finds Roger's dead body. Now Eddie has to work out who killed Roger, as well as who killed Rocco DeGreasy on the same night.

What I Liked: This is a very well-paced story. It sets up the mystery straightaway, it cracks along at a good speed, and you don't have the full truth of whodunnit until the very end. The chapters are short and punchy, and even the time spent on plot points that turned out to be red herrings never felt wasted. I was always eager to pick the book up again and read just one more chapter!

Also, in any other novel, the twist regarding Roger's killer would be a massive "What the heck?" moment, but here, it's set up far enough in advance that it doesn't feel unnatural when it comes.

And as a fun minor detail, Eddie casually mentions being one of four children, and then the next novel, Who P-P-P-Plugged Roger Rabbit?, gives him two brothers and a sister! It was probably a coincidence, but I was glad to spot it!

What I Disliked: I really wasn't a fan of the way Jessica Rabbit was portrayed. Who Framed Roger Rabbit subverts her femme fatale image, but Who Censored Roger Rabbit? plays it straight, which didn't appeal to me as much. I prefer the "looks like she could kill you, is actually a cinnamon roll" trope over the "looks like she could kill you, could actually kill you" trope.

At one point in the story, Jessica claims she was forced to pose for a racy comic, but when Eddie speaks to the owner of said comic, the man claims Jessica posed for those pictures willingly and was actually eager to make more. At the time the story was published (1981), one might just about have got away with such a portrayal, but in a post-#MeToo world, it's discomforting that Jessica's allegations of coercion and sexual abuse aren't taken seriously. (Also, the man who owns the racy comic is a creepy crossdresser, which ... what? Why was that in there? That didn't need to be in there.)

As a consequence of Jessica's portrayal, her relationship with Roger is nowhere near as sweet as in the film. Their entire marriage is basically a sham. No, thank you. Give me "honey bunny" and "love cup" instead, please.

Verdict: I saw the film first, and I prefer it to the novel. Who Framed Roger Rabbit will always be my favourite piece of Roger Rabbit media. But I can appreciate Who Censored Roger Rabbit? as its own thing - a product of its time, to be sure, but also a well-structured and fast-paced read.

Who P-P-P-Plugged Roger Rabbit?

The Plot: It's 1947 (more or less), sometime after the events of Who Framed Roger Rabbit. Roger Rabbit, Baby Herman, and Kirk Enigma are three toons in line for the lead role in David Selznick's upcoming adaptation of Gone With the Wind. A box belonging to Selznick, a box of great importance, has gone missing, and Eddie Valiant has been hired to find it.

What I Liked: Who P-P-P-Plugged Roger Rabbit? has my favourite portrayal of Roger (after the film and the comics). We spend a bit more time with him than in the previous book, so we get to hear more about his worldviews and his backstory. We also get to see what a sweetie pie he is. He's an emotional bunny who loves his wife, just like in the film, and I frequently wanted to hug him.

A key highlight for me was the moment when Roger was singing like a Disney Princess and summoning a chorus of birds to wake Eddie one morning, which Eddie did not appreciate. Can someone animate that? I'd love to see it!

The second half of this novel also introduces Jessica's twin sister Joellyn (the six-inch-tall woman on Eddie's shoulder on the cover), and I enjoyed getting to know her. And, without giving away too many spoilers, I greatly preferred this rendition of Jessica over the one in Who Censored Roger Rabbit?

What I Disliked: Unlike the first novel, this one was pretty slow to get going. Eddie isn't actually hired by Selznick until Chapter 7, and most of the time before then is spent establishing Eddie as a down-on-his-luck private eye, using people and locations that show up once and then are barely used again. Some of that fat could have been trimmed, I feel. It made reaching the end of the book a bit more of a slog.

Something else that bothered me was the high volume of old-timey slang, brand names and Americanisms that I, as a twentysomething Brit, did not recognise. I could read an entire paragraph and think, "Well, he's either drinking alcohol, smoking cigar or eating a foodstuff, but I'll be darned if I can tell you which is the right interpretation." I think the noir detective vernacular was slightly overdone, to the point of incomprehension.

Verdict: I thought this would be my favourite of the novels because it seemed the most similar in tone to the film, so I was disappointed by my lukewarm reception to it. Maybe I was disappointed because I'd hyped it up too much in my mind? That's not to say I didn't enjoy it - I greatly preferred the second half to the first, once Eddie found out what was actually in this mysterious box - but I think it could have done with a few more edits before publication.

Who Wacked Roger Rabbit?

The Plot: It's the 1940s or 1950s, sometime after the events of Who Framed Roger Rabbit, and director Barney Sands is shooting a movie set in Toontown starring Gary Cooper and Roger Rabbit. He's been receiving threatening letters warning him to stay away from Toontown and stop making this film, but he can't afford to let down his investors. So he hires Eddie Valiant to be Cooper's bodyguard while filming takes place. But Eddie soon finds himself wrapped up in another mystery, involving a porcine crime lord called Willy Prosciutto and the corpse of Clabber Clown.

What I Liked: The majority of this novel takes place in Toontown, so we get some really cool worldbuilding details. We find out how the school system works, which churches are based in Toontown, and how crooked toons launder their money. I was particularly intrigued by the calm and serious toons in the Sanatorium - apparently, if you're not loud and goofy and bouncing off the walls, you're considered insane, which is the opposite of how humans think about mental health.

The blonde humanoid toon on the cover is Caitlyn "Honey" Graham, Willy's girlfriend. I really like Honey. In fact, she might be my favourite of the novel-exclusive characters. Throughout the book, you're trying to work out if she's a good bad girl or a bad good girl, or if she's really just a bad bad girl. If Who Framed Roger Rabbit ever gets a sequel or prequel or spin-off cartoon series, I'd love to see Honey on screen.

What I Disliked: The Roger we meet in this novel is a bit too stupid for my liking. In Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Roger made seemingly nonsensical choices, but he had his own (cartoon) logic to explain his actions, and he was even proved right in his assumptions a few times. So I much prefer to think of Roger as the kind of toon where you're never quite sure if he's truly dumb or merely playing dumb for the sake of a gag. Here, he's just straight-up dumb, and that's not as fun to read about.

Verdict: This was the book I knew the least about before I read it, so I was more cautious going in - but it ended up being my second favourite of the Roger Rabbit novels. I enjoyed learning more about Toontown and its residents. My favourite parts of the film had been the toony parts - Roger, and Jessica, and Roger and Jessica together - so I guess it makes sense that I'd enjoy the novel that takes place almost entirely in Toontown.

Jessica Rabbit: XERIOUS Business

The Plot: It's the 2020s, sometime post-pandemic, and Jessica Krupnik is a human in a toon-less world. She's working a dead-end job in a crime-ridden part of town, her stepmother bosses her around and belittles her, her stepsisters treat her like a servant, and her stepbrothers sexually harass her. She's basically a modern-day Cinderella. But instead of a fairy godmother, Jessica is rescued from her life of drudgery by an opportunity to apply for a role at XERIOUS, a crime-fighting organisation of secret agents. She gets the job, and is later put on a mission with Robbe, one of XERIOUS's most experienced agents, to catch a criminal mastermind called the Klown.

(And this is somehow a prequel to Who Framed Roger Rabbit. Despite being set decades after that film. And starring a human Jessica instead of a toon Jessica. Cartoon timelines be weird, y'all.)

What I Liked: This was the most fun novel to read! I think that's because it was a spy novel spoof, rather than a gritty noir detective story. The other three novels could be quite dour in tone - yes, cases would get solved, but people would get hurt in the process, and relationships would be irrevocably altered, so there was always this undercurrent of sadness in the seemingly happy endings. After three novels in a row of that, a story spoofing spy novels was always going to feel like a breath of fresh air. Gary K. Wolf has stated that he wrote this book in lockdown and had a lot of fun doing so, and I feel that coming across in his writing.

Robbe was another great novel-exclusive character. I can't say too much about him, because that would massively spoil things, but I can say that I enjoyed witnessing his development over the course of the novel. To give the most spoiler-free explanation I can, Robbe starts out as a suave and competent spy, but also a misogynist - until something happens to him in the line of duty that shakes his confidence. Watching him grow and try to be a better person, especially towards Jessica, while also dealing with the aftermath of his accident, was truly engaging. It even got me thinking about the portrayal of disability in fiction, which I did not expect a Roger Rabbit novel to do.

What I Disliked: For a novel called Jessica Rabbit: XERIOUS Business, Jessica herself was disappointingly under-developed. The first three chapters follow her miserable life and her desire for adventure, for respect, for something more. And then there's a two-year time skip and whoop, she's suddenly a confident and glamorous secret agent! And she's ditched her glasses and dyed her hair, so she's beautiful now! And she achieved her impossible hourglass figure with nothing but diet and exercise, despite being a human and not a toon! Sigh.

There was a real missed opportunity here. Robbe already has a plot where he starts off skilled and arrogant, but then has his worldview challenged and needs to learn to embrace vulnerability. So we could have had Jessica experiencing her own story of growth alongside him, but in reverse! We could have watched as, over the course of the novel, she transforms from the beaten-down self-conscious little girl into the sensational woman she was always meant to be. Robbe would start on top and fall down; Jessica would start at the bottom and claw her way up. The parallels could have been awesome!

Gary K. Wolf has admitted that, as a man, he would struggle to write a novel about women, and it shows. The sexism Jessica experiences doesn't have any nuance; the story just says, "Harassment is bad" over and over again. There's one moment where the Klown is sharing his nefarious plan to change the world, and Jessica responds, "I like the current world." And ... huh? You like the sexual harassment you receive on an almost daily basis? You like the system that trapped you in a dead-end job? You like all the poverty and crime and misery the world has right now? The story could have really benefitted from a feminist and/or intersectional analysis.

Also, in an effort to make Jessica seem smart, the men around her are extremely stupid, unable to see through the Klown's flimsy disguises. That is ... not the best way to make your female characters appear intelligent.

Verdict: My favourite of the Roger Rabbit novels! It's not perfect, but my criticisms are born out of love and a desire to see this concept reach its full potential. But even as it is, I still found this book a lot of fun to read, and I can excuse a few flaws if I'm having fun.

Final Ranking (Compared to Other Roger Rabbit Media)

Who Framed Roger Rabbit

Roger Rabbit and Roger Rabbit's Toontown comics

The three shorts

Jessica Rabbit: XERIOUS Business

Who Wacked Roger Rabbit?

Who Censored Roger Rabbit?

Who P-P-P-Plugged Roger Rabbit?

[ceruleancattail]

HORROR EVENT:

The pearl eye, and his many red Upon his skin, the sickness spread All he loved was left for dead

And the blessed ruler lost his head

The curtain opened slowly, heavy with the lack of use, sweeping dust and glitter, leftover from the olden times of merry, the carnival's exhausted breath aflame. Two clowns, red and blue, one tall and spindly and one short and stoked, climb up the stage, two grins unnervingly their faces split, and then they sun, a rather old and dreary tale.

"Did you hear about the old ringmaster's plight? The one, with iron fist and steely might- he, who ruled the carnival with sick delight? By day he's like gentle rose, by night he's prickling bloostained thorns and, with his lips and hands stained crimson, he adorns a black and red top hat like a crown, with tears of grief and joy upon his face, he mourns

as in the rabbit hole he falls down..."

-

The black envelope stood carelessly thrown on the table, the jester hat impressed upon the azure wax laughing at his misery (if, of course, an impression of an inanimate object into a piece of molten candle could in fact mock him). The navy-haired man stared at it contemplating. Would he dare accept this task? The Six's Alliance was known far and wide for taking on things... different. Things dangerous... They were known for seeking things most people feared, and hunting. them. down. Despite being one of their most trusted operatives, Yuliy Chernov could only say that with each passing request, assigned to him by the Benefactor (that woman who nobody knew, but all knew of) it got harder and harder, to distinguish himself from the monsters he killed - after all the blood was on his hands just the same. He took a deep breath and tore the seal from the envelope, the scent of rose perfume hitting his nose. The Faded Moon carnival awated his arrival.

-

Will the hunter become the hunted?

-

The lure of the devil will ring soft and sweet

Be

Not

Tempted

(a.k.a to sum up, yuliy & riddle, creature and creature hunter, if that's chill owo)

Their blood is on your hands.

That’s what people are rather fond of saying, no? Blaming him for staining his own hands crimson, dripping with blood. As if it stops there. At his wrist, like some sort of glove.

Like he could do this, and leave any part of him untainted.

Fingers gently pawing at the tarp, he lifts it aside. Absolutely filthy. Yuliy pinches the bridge of his nose, before sliding in. It’s hard to imagine the splendour of this circus, not when grey plumes of dust kick up with every step he takes.

Glance flickering from the left to the right. Warinesses was something appreciated in this career. You never know what’s lurking around the corner, creeping in the shadows.

Children are afraid of the dark.

For good reason.

A rustle of fabric. The sound of heels, trotting across rotting floors, clicking sharply. Much like the chimes of a clock, resounding throughout the tent.

Tick, tick. Tick, tock.

The crack of a whip.

Spinning around, Yuliy’s hand reaches for his thigh. Fingers slipping around a holster, he yanks out a gun. A unique sort of weapon, various runes etched deep into the metal. They glowed an azure blue, the same deep shade as his eyes.

He levels the gun, pointing it point blank at the man who stood before him. Shifting it to the center of his eyes, staring at him straight in the eye.

Eyes as scarlet as the blood in your veins. Delicate strands of hair framing his face, withered rose petals scattered throughout his hair. A top hat, a velvet ribbon loosely tied around, the stray ends fluttering.

“The Scarlet Ring Master, Riddle Rosehearts, I presume? Pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

Tipping his non-existent politely to the male, Yuliy discretely flicks the safety of his gun. The click echoed through the tent. Riddle simply stares, pursing his lips. His fingers are tight around the handle of a whip, knuckles a ghastly shade of white.

His nails are a sickly shade of red. Crimson, with the ends darkened. The colours of freshly drawn blood, jellying his fingers.

Sliding his fingers along his whip, he stretches it, holding it tightly. Roses bloom across the leather, thorns woven into the leather, jutting out with a certain spite.

The ghost of a smirk played on his lips. Riddle takes a step forward, walking straight into the barrel of the gun. Pressing his forehead against it, Riddle reaches for Yuliy. Slender fingers sliding across his chin, gently caressing his face. Trails of red stretched across his face.

Riddle’s no stranger to hunters. Or hatred. It’s been this way forever. Even when he was still alive. A thousand tongues wagging, criticism stabbing into him, jutting into his bones. A firm grip on his circus, controlling every single movement anyone took.

He’ll string his performers up like puppets, a vice grip on the threads. Every second, every breath, it’s under his control. All to create a prefect show.

Sometimes, it’s all too much for his performers. They resist, tugging at the strings. They try to break free, telling him that he’s wrong. That this wasn’t how a show should be run.

When a kite flies a little too far, all you could do was to pull back. Yank the strings back, wrapping around them tighter and tighter.

Riddle’s used to his puppets breaking.

Sacrifices must be made.

His eyes meet Yuliys, staring into them. A certain intensity burning behind those pupils, the start of a raging inferno, barely concealed behind those doll-like pupils.

A hunter… yet there was compassion, deep within his eyes.

A swift motion, just a single flick of a wrist. Riddle’s whip wraps itself around Yuliy’s neck, thorns piercing through his flesh. Beads of scarlet form, dripping down like wet paint.

A swing had Yuliy flat against the ground, chin bashing against the floor. The impact knocked the wind out of his lungs, pain screaming through his chest.

The whip only grew tighter, strangling him. Gasping for air, Yuliy clawed at Riddle’s boots, black spots swarming his vision. A laugh. A short, barking laugh. Riddle takes a knee, tugging at his whip.

Forcing Yuliy’s gaze upwards, Riddle appraises him. He seems rather strong. A defiant spark in his eyes as well.

It’ll be rather gratifying to have this hunter dancing like a fool in the palm of his hand.

The Queen’s personal Jester.