#like bruh you are breaking patterns

[chodzacaparodia]

Sometimes it really amuses me that in some stories the characters have to cross the magical border of the love confession so that they completely forget about their previous shyness and throw themselves at each other in a mad rush of desire, using really dirty language during sex.

[nouearth]

an internship at wayne interprises. (part ii)

bruce wayne x male reader headcanons

part i.

warnings: smut, age gap, bottom reader, breeding, virgin!reader, top!bruce, established relationship, lowkey kind of fluffy, bruce is falling in love.

a/n: aaaand it's finally here! i hope you all enjoy the long awaited part two! i was watching american psycho recently and bruh, i forgot how hot he looked in it. like. i want to run my tongue all over him.

—as intimidating as bruce was, he never found the courage, or time really, to isolate you from your responsibilities.

—was it cowardliness that he was faced with? or was it that returning feeling that churned in his stomach, swelled in his chest, until it made him rethink the thoughts he’s had of you?

—guilt. he never felt it when he was jerking off to your pictures, which have become a daily routine now. 

—but it returned in powerful marches, ached at the center of his heart, ridiculing him for thinking about his employee in such a crude, exploitive way.

—he always felt it when he saw you first thing in the morning, working quietly, mindlessly as your body had begun to become used to the caffeine.

—like wind chimes, you moved around people - around the wind - not with them, as you made your way to the break room. 

—three packets of sugar and two spoons of creamer normally kept you awake, but the frozen pocket pizza in the toaster oven was the real source of your energy. 

—bruce winced as he silently watched you from afar. you yawned, rubbed your eyes as the heat from the toaster oven warmed the surrounding area.

—jesus, no wonder you’re always so tired. look at the shit you’re eating.

—the march of soldiers, rioting against guilt, roared, and he was reminded of his privilege immediately after. a butler that had been providing him three nutritious meals a day since birth, and a garden of wealth that allowed him to afford a home gym with the best equipment; it was all handed to him and while he did his best to give back to the city, it was never enough to pacify the war zone of his chest. he was a person, a wealthy person, but a person nonetheless.

—you were a person.

—though ironically enough, he came to the the image of you hungrily licking the grease off your fingers when you were finished with breakfast later that night.

—there was always something new about you that he would fixate on when his hand met his cock, stroking it with a glorious amount of lube until it dried. 

—though he never fretted, because your lips, your face, your nose - everything about you - milked him until the fresh stock of cum had become the only slime that layered his softening erection.

—like bruce’s nights, you’ve begun infiltrating the routine of his mornings now.

—or rather, bruce began infiltrating yours after he visited you in the break room for the first time.

—good morning, mister wayne…

—oh, new intern, right? your name was…?

—he always feigned his disinterest because he liked hearing your name come out of your handsome mouth.

—(m/n), sir…

—it sounded beautiful. the softness of your voice kindled a tenderness in bruce and it could’ve cradled him to sleep had the coffee from the break room not been so disgusting and cheap.

—the third time, he memorized the pattern you spoke in. your voice always trailed off at the end of a sentence as if it had been stolen by a criminal.

—it’s (m/n), sir…

—he wished he could be that somebody.

—the fifth time, he’d gotten used to the watery aftertaste of the coffee.

—wait, don’t tell me. your name rhymes with…

—and when you laughed because bruce was completely off by a mile, he saw a glimpse of your soul that had been sheltered by intimidation and anxiety.

—he learned he wanted to become a part of your life when he took you out for lunch.

—long overdue, but i usually take my interns out for lunch.

—bruce usually didn’t.

—oh—mister wayne, i don’t think that’s necessary… i already packed lunch.

—great! you don’t have to pack for tomorrow then.

—wait, but i haven’t set up the meeting with—

—i’ll get someone on it—already made reservations, c’mon.

—he’d learned so much about you that day, then the following, and the next; your upbringing, your hopes and dreams, your downfalls, it felt like he was walking on water with the way you willingly opened more of yourself every consecutive day.

—he could listen to you talk for hours, become poisoned by it if your voice was liquid, and bruce accepted that risk when he made another routine to invite you for lunch.

—previous nights were as followed: he stroked his cock to you, breathing heavily into the memory of your cologne, the wrinkles of your shirt, the curl of your lips when he made a joke.

—since he’d gotten to know you as more than a stained selfie, more than the meek statue that stood in the corner; instead of feeding himself with the thoughts of you that derived from pure lust, the reality of his nights had shifted.

—he stroked himself, that never changed. but he closed his eyes, breathing until he could see the ghost of you by his side.

—your shared bodies tensed into one another as his body curved forward into the arc of your back when he pushed in for the first time. you reached back to hold his thigh, pausing his thrusts because you needed to adjust, because you wanted to feel all of him in complete comfort.

—it was intimacy.

—it only melted - your body - when bruce kissed the shell of your ear, telling you that he’ll continue once you were ready. you let him in, sprouted for him like a bud in spring, and felt all of him swell larger inside of you with a whimper.

—it was vulnerability.

—he made sure you were touched, palming your erection as he rocked his own into your bud. from the nape of your neck to the hill of your back, he blessed you in the wet of his mouth, battling the sweat that had gathered on your body to see who would claim the vacancy of your body.

—he made sure to make you feel safe, drowning you in affection with his low voice, with the bridge that had constructed between your soul and his as he thrusted deeper, connected into you when he pressed into a spot that had the heavy air memorize every letter of bruce’s name.

—and finally crossed when he filled you with all of his endearment towards you, heavy and thick in combative sequence. he never pulled away in fret of losing the sentiment—in fret of losing you. 

—it was love.

—from then on, bruce was devoted to melt the frost that had shielded you, just as you had melted his.

—because he was going to protect you now.

—the guilt that had been egging the shelter of his heart wilted in the pit of his stomach when he kissed you for the first time.

—and then completely died when you kissed him back. 

—your arms were around his neck, and his were around your waist. you and bruce slow danced to the tune of his favorite song, in the middle of his living room, and so did your lips when he leaned in again.

—it never progressed further than that, despite the ache in bruce’s pants yelling at him to. he wanted to savor every moment with you, in case he happened to chase you away like he did with the others.

—you were special, and bruce held you like the rarest gem on earth for the first time that night.

—again, when he visited you in mornings to drive you to work.

—again, on nights where you were too tired to drive back to your apartment.

—again, after morning meetings were over and every businessmen and women left the vicinity upon the announcement of food catering a few floors down.

—and then again, when bruce’s thoughts had become a reality.

—b-bruce, ngh…

—you reached back to his thigh like in his thoughts, carefully maneuvering and pacing his thrusts into you. your breath stained deep into the cover of his pillow when bruce applied his weight into you, fitting his broad body to the dip of your back.

—i got you, hm? —nice and slow…

—his voice tickled your nape, soothing it with chaste kisses when your muscles tensed, and you breathed harder into the pillow when you let his thigh go, freeing him to do as he pleased. the warmth of your breath fogged your skin as his girth opened you to a profound feeling you’ve been too intimidated to discover

—faster, please…

—he was humored, not because you were embarrassing like the flush of your skin thought, but because you were still the same person he’d met months ago, appeased by it. you were calmed by an assurance, a kiss to your shoulder then your lips, yet your body only continued to bloom with roses. 

—you’re still so polite even when we’ve done so many things together…

—bruce pressed deeper into you, panting in your ear as he delivered on your timid demands. he knew you now—read you like a book. you were too afraid to ask for anything despite becoming so vulnerable with each other, and he made sure that you were safe with him.

—your requests were silent sans the moans that have escaped, but he heard every single one of them. his hips drove into you harder for a few rhythms, then excruciating slower to coerce a plea out of you—to pull your beautiful moans along with desperation.

—he wanted to hear you, pulling himself completely out of your bud.

—f-fuuuuck, bruce! please—i need you, please.

—more, he needed to hear you want him as much as he’d been wanting you. his arms wrapped around your waist, and his fingers curled over your cock. it provided a friction, a hole for you to press into as his fist was sandwiched between your body and the bed, and you took the opportunity to desperately thrust into it.

—secretly, you’d hope to thrust yourself back onto his cock.

—but again, he knew you; silently observant and logical, and he raised his hips back, avoiding the desperate grinds of your bottom.

—how badly do you need me, hm? —how bad do you want me?

—bruce needed to hear it, to compel a truth to his prophecy. his hand unwrapped around you and you were left desperately grinding into the soft fabric of his sheets with a whine. they were music to his ears, and the drips of his cock dribbled over the curve of your bottom as if they were notes to a stave, to the sound of your torment.

—i-i need you, please…

—he exhaled.

—so bad.

—he gulped.

—so fucking bad…

—he throbbed.

—mister wayne… —please…

—bruce’s two worlds had collided: his previous thoughts of you rocketed into the current with a cloudy explosion, and he succumbed. you looked back at him with glassy orbs, sweat running down the side of your face, and bruce was overwhelmed by the beauty our deepest desires. how quickly it could destroy the barrier that we’ve built, how quickly he could destroy yours and unfurl your vulnerabilities when he finally drove himself back in one long and smooth thrust. 

—f-fuuuuck...

—it was continuous. you wouldn’t admit it, but he knew you preferred being filled like this. he notified the curl of your fingers, clutching at whatever you could to fulfill the aching need to grasp onto something.

—god—

—hard when bruce came down, but slow and affectionate when he pulled out. you felt every thick inch sliding in and out of you. at times, you would purposely tighten in fear of losing bruce, but his thrusts reminded you that you wouldn’t.

—bruce reminded you again when his lips suckled on your shoulder.

—i’m close, (m/n)…

—when his hand stroked your aching cock.

—m-me too…

—and when bruce pushed all of his sweaty weight onto you with one hard thrust.

—shit, shit—

—the boiling feeling in his stomach unfurled inside of you to release his devotion in heavy, white loads. they filled you with heat, spreading thick within you as bruce slowly rocked himself weakly, squeezing every ounce of his love into you until you could feel it yourself.

—bruce—

—your eyes rolled back and you could feel the thick of his cum dripping out of you and down your legs the more he plunged into your hole, and it didn’t take very long for you to come undone yourself. the seam of your mouth kept your moans contained as you blasted bruce’s fist and the sheets with your affection, and it wasn’t until his hand came down to pump you that you exhaled a staggered, breathless groan. the drips came out heavy, sticky, and you rocked into bruce’s fist until they spread themselves thin onto your pelvis, over your cock, and stained deep into the sheets.

—as you both lay breathless, bruce remained on top, puzzled into you as he found comfort in your muscles loosening like the flaccid of your length. he continued playing with your soft flesh, squeezing and spreading the layer of seed that covered his hand, and chuckled when you silently squirmed. 

—not away from him like he’d thought, but back into him.

—because he was your guardian now.

nouearth. please do not repost, plagiarize, or translate my works. and if you like this story, please reblog and leave a like!

[marsfa1ry]

astrology observation 𓇼

(pics from pinterest)

capricorn mercury i love their dry sense of humor and dark sarcasm. my scorpio mercury be giggling like a baby when they tell a joke while everyone else blank stare the native, concerned about their dark humor. also their choice of words is so calculated and careful if developed, no sugarcoating tho, with well aspected could also be poetic. it’s so cute. ahhh my favs

lilith 3h knows how and when to push the button and let that intelligent communicator self take over lol literally can talk themselves out of anything and could wrap someone around their fingers by their words. school and/or siblings might be a hit or miss for them. it’s either good or bad, nothing in between.

mars 1h idk if it’s just me or not moving body when mentally in a better place for a whole day can cause natives a great emotion turmoil like (esp in virgo degree i guess💀) that’s why coping mechanism and serotonin booster includes deep cleaning room, groceries … oh maybe it’s just me ok

not to mention that healthy routine HELPS natives a lot i mean i guess it helps every human being but i feel like it emphasizes when it comes to mars 1h let me know if you resonates or not^^

earth moons with uranus prominent aspects/placements yes earth moons do need a stable routine to help them maintain their mind but with uranus influence esp if making aspects to mc, i think will most likely hate to have a 9-5 work, plus with prominence 9h/sagittarius, spontaneous career life is their go-to. their earth moons still want the stability tho so it could be that they have a stable morning and after work routine etc.

leo moon something about their hair that never fail to catch my attention. it’s like tho they did nothing their hair be thriving.

also something about head bumps because there was this one time i dreamed of a leo moon head bumping me just for me to wake up to an astrology observation (i can’t remember which one😿feel free to inform me so i can put credits here) says head bumping is a lion thing so leo placements tend to do that helpp- but tbh it’s so cute ><

earth moons w fire moons i rarely see astro community talk about this two together like it’s SO underrated. earth moon say the most straightforward, simplest compliments that get fire moon all flustered up and stuff like 😳 and firey do this most random, unprovoked things just to get reaction out of earthy. purely just vibing together. fire moon get earth moon out of their comfort zone, earth moon makes fire moon more grounded. seen them in many long terms relationships.

ex: EDIT : i just found out that brian groomed megan fox and actually so problematic so i deleted this example 🤢

ross lynch (aries moon) - jaz sinclair (capricorn moon)

aishwarya rai (capricorn moon) - abhishek bachchan (aries moon)

ryan gosling (capricorn moon) - eva mendes (leo moon)

moon conjucnt mercury synastry : moon be like ‘bruh you speak my mind’ while mercury ‘you read my emotions and know what to do with them without me talking it out so’ love this

moon conjunct chiron chiron making hard aspect to luminaries (emphasize on moon bcs istg…the pain towards deepest part of ourselves um) can manifest such a big impact in native’s life :,) and which part will be effected depends on houses where it sit in. however, as much as how diverse the conjunction can play out🤭 the same thing that wounded the natives could be the same thing that heal the natives. the key is to mastered the cruel (💀for real like who have this aspect would understand what i mean) chiron. as much as it makes you a severely wounded soldier in inner world’s field ffs, breaking the pattern of chiron can manifests a really great result.

moon prominent aspect in mother’s chart can be presented in your s/o’s chart or someone you like. for better or worse. 🧍‍♀️

mercury in sagittarius degree (9°,21°) philosiphize their words unintentionally and left people who had a conversation with them thinking about their words a lots esp when they give advice, they brought a whole new perspective to the person.

scorpio/8h prominent the struggle is real when someone they close with or trust don’t also hate their enemies. it’s a sign to retreat for them😠 ride or die. all or nothing.

lilith prominent/dominant men try so hard to hide their feelings and reactions when lilith prominent/dominant women come around. might even bully/pick on them at an extreme end. horrible at it finest when undeveloped ugh

taurus lilith square ascendant attract a lot of taurus mars and i have love-hate relationship with most of them

pisces rising really do get away with things. wittiness and chameleon energy of mutable + slyness of water = slay 💅

aries in big 6 literally always there in charts of ppl who heavily watch or fond of anime, manga

capricorn/cancer sun pair with scorpio/taurus sun no matter what others perceived them individually, they seems like a traditional couple to me lol when they’re together it gives ‘of course they’re together’ vibe. capricorn-scorpio and cancer-taurus more often than vice versa

pluto 3h i found myself thinking about what these natives say a looooot like even if it’s the most silliest stuff they said, it still echoes in my mind like ‘i think yellow is a really bizarre color’ and my mind goes 😮🤯😦😵‍💫🙀 wtff

; hihi, first i didn’t expect my previous astro notes to blow up this much so i want to say that i appreciated all the interactions and support <33 thank you so much and i hope whoever come across this astro ranting HEHE a really nice day/night and much fun reading this ⭐️

© @marsfa1ry

[kaypeace21]

In s4, the Byers siblings lie to the wheeler siblings (who they have romantically feelings for) .And both boys incorrectly think lying to mike and nancy - will make the 2 Wheelers happier in the long run (when it does the opposite).And while in Lenora, jonathan & Will lie/distance themselves from the wheelers- which has both Wheelers inadvertently drawn to other love interests because of it. It's alot to unpack😬

Like ...that's a tra*ma response (for the boys). Lonnie would lie for selfish reasons. And now the boys are lying for "selfless" and borderline self-sacrificial reasons. Don't believe me ? ok- let me explain...

For Jonathan

In S1, lonnie claims he wants to help jonathan with college. Joyce calls out the fact lonnie is lying, yelling "dont LIE to me!' And she mentions how she knows he's lying- since he doesn't even know that jonathan's dream school has been NYU (since he was 6). S4 : jonathan lies to nancy, so nancy won't sacrifice her college dreams. And jonathan goes on a rant about how if he doesn't lie- they'd end up like his parents and he'd eventually become just like lonnie. Jonathan: "what was I supposed to do?" Argyle: "Not lie!" Jonathan: "Not lie? Argyle: "yeah! " Jonathan: Not lie?!" He also doesn't even contemplate nyu as an option (despite wanting to go there since he was 6 years old). The only options that were on the table for him were Emerson (for nancy) or lenora (to take care of joyce and Will... since he's been taking care of them ever since lonnie left). Jonathan to argyle: "I can't just leave my mom and brother" (cough like lonnie) . He never thought about himself once. Bruh...

We also see jonathan's lie to nancy - makes him distance himself from her to keep the lie up. Which made her insecure about their relationship and start eyeing steve again .

For Will:

In s1 it's mentioned lonnie used to call Will h*mophobic slurs, and that despite living near by- he hadn't visited Will for at least a year. He also insulted Will when jonathan first mentioned he'd went missing. Lonnie only visits Hawkins , so he can lie and pretend he cared about Will (because he wanted to profit off of Will's de*th- for his "debts" ). He lies saying the money from Will's de*th -could be used to help jonathan with college (a lie). Joyce in the same convo , where she says lonnie is lying about jonathan/college, says : " you were here for the money... you never cared about Will! You never did!" . Will in s4: "to say how you really feel to the people you care about the most... what if they don't like the truth." Lonnie lies because he doesn't care. Will lies to mike beacause he does care (despite knowing mike isn't a fan of lying). Will lies to mike about the painting,saying it's from El - because he thinks it'll benefit the people he "cares about most" (his sister El & best friend mike). He lies to fix mike/el's relationship,because he cares for both of them . And because he's "scared" of mike's reaction to the truth.

Will is going against his own moral compass, because he incorrectly believes it'll benefit the people he cares about most. But frankly, I think the lie will back fire,and upset both El and mike when they find out. Because neither El nor mike like lying (but ironically mike lied to el in s3 , and el lied -for months-to mike in s4. And Will's lie may have been the only thing keeping the couple together. )Similar to how jonathan's lie -indirectly brought steve and nancy closer together,again .

so yeah in s5, it could backfire on Will, who usually is honest. Cough foreshadowing-

Will to mike,at the skaterink: "she lied to you- right to your face " (so did you Will, about the painting & your feelings. But also El's feelings as well)

Will to El,at the skaterink: "why do you keep lying to Mike? I just don't think mike's going to like the fact your lying to him. When he finds out he's going to be mad."

Watch mike gets mad in s5. And Will incorrectly assumes mike is mad about Will's romantic feelings. When mike's actually mad about Will lying - and how Will's lie caused mike to confess to El (under false pretenses).

The only way the conflict between the Byers/wheelers can be fixed is if there's honesty (aka jonathan & Will break the relationship pattern they saw from their parents). And nancy/mike stop mirroring their parent's romance with steve/el,but I digress . It's not a coincidence the 2 divorced couples (lonnie/joyce & neil/Billy's mom) literally fight about lying .

The single lie both jonathan & Will tell this season- isn't adressed at the end of s4. But we see how their lies negatively affect their relationships with the wheelers,because of it. We even see jonathan continue the lie,about college, once reuniting with Nancy. So what will s5 have in store (given all the various themes that touch upon lying,not even mentioned in this post)? I mean "friends don't lie...but boyfriends do".

[beautifulterriblequeen]

Multiple Choice - a Callum and Aaravos theory

Not to be all Han Solo or anything, but when it comes to Aaravos and magic in Xadia, I Have A Bad Feeling About This.

If there's one thing I love more than corrupt systems, it's breaking them, so let's get to it: please enjoy yet another way that Callum's pursuit of magic could potentially go very wrong for him - and how he can still fix it.

The system, in this case, isn't a monarchy (on either side of the border), wartime tensions reaching forward from the cycle, or a Xadia-wide racial hierarchy.

It's magic itself.

We don't know where it came from, magic. Was deep magic always here? Did one of the Star Touch elves create it, or perhaps choose to make it his bailiwick while others chose things like Justice and Mercy?

Aaravos, I mean Aaravos. If he's basically the god of magic (feel free to view him through a Loki-esque lens here, I am), then of course he's an archmage, and of course he's the only one among the Star Touch elves. Magic is His Thing.

And according to Zubeia, the Dragon Queen, its mages are his prey. We don't know yet what his full intent has been. We only have her millennia-long view from the surface of the planet. There's definitely more to the story, but which direction that story takes us is anyone's guess at this point. However, it seems clear that Aaravos's history during his time in Xadia does show a pattern of him targeting and influencing mages. He certainly has been during the years the show has covered.

What all he did with these mages, besides the manipulation, is also still unknown. But even if all he ever did was pull their strings, he's still choosing magic-imbued beings as his favorite puppets. The most likely explanation for this is that mages and Aaravos have something in common, making them easier for him to work with. Is it just magic? Does their ambition count too? Is there more to it?

I think there's more. I feel there is some deep dangerous secret Aaravos has managed to hide from everyone so far - including us. But just because it's dangerous doesn't mean it's evil, or even ill-intentioned. Do we consider the threat to anthills when we begin construction on a new apartment complex? Usually no. We're busy doing human-level tasks. The ants' welfare is truly not our concern. And most of them will probably be fine... right?

So. What's Aaravos really up to, and what does it have to do with Callum?

Something Rayla believes about Callum made me wonder: in the short story Chasing Shadows, she believes that he, and all humans, can change their destiny (and it's super annoying!). Why is that a human thing only, though?

Arcanums, perhaps. We've all seen the elven peoples get uptight about their own rules and the options they can choose for themselves. It's not just the Moonshadows. Sunfire elves can absolutely be sticklers for tradition - look at my disaster boy Karim over here, willing to go to war against his own people because his sister wants to marry a human.

Bruh.

So here's part one of the theory:

Having an arcanum in you forces your destiny into a certain path.

If you're born with it, you know the path of your whole life - and I don't just mean "serve your people" or "be a warrior" or "be one with nature." There is a very dark side to being locked into your destiny. It means you cannot escape it even if you desperately want to.

*wordlessly points to Runaan and his overly honorbound decisions*

*wordlessly points to Rayla and her overly sacrificial decisions*

*wordlessly points to Finnegrin and his overly fear-driven decisions*

*wordlessly points to Janai and her overly dutybound decisions*

*wordlessly points to Karim and his overly traditional decisions*

I don't need to say anything here, do I? Thought not.

But it's one thing to be born with an arcanum - maybe they know and accept this part of their destiny already. Maybe it's just a subconscious thing they... know.

It's another thing entirely to opt into an arcanum as a free choice. And here's where we get to part two:

Callum thinks he chose his destiny. He doesn't know he just gave it away.

If he just handed his fate to Aaravos by embracing an arcanum (and then one more), his destiny isn't currently in his hands at all. It's in Aaravos's. And the archmage has proven that he, at least, knows that, since he's been pulling at Callum's strings and toying with him for a while now. He wouldn't flex like that unless he was supremely confident - which he is, he always is - he wouldn't show that hand early on like this unless he knew Callum didn't understand what he'd done or how to reverse it.

This theory is about more than dark magic. It's about all magic. Even if Callum could cleanse himself from dark magic and never let Aaravos puppet him again, is he really free? He still has an arcanum. Where did that come from? He's walking around with a couple of magical bona fides stamped on his brain, and I just want to know...

Who crafted the stamps?

If all Xadian magic is some kind of... creation, or spill, or experiment... and Aaravos needs that power back for himself in order to be who he used to be and/or re-ascend to the stars, he's got more than one way to harness it again:

dark magic consumes primal magic - but matter and energy are never destroyed, so... where does that power go? Aaravos has a very convenient black hole symbol right on his chest. Maybe every spell dark mages have ever cast sends him some of his precious primal magic again. It would be a very convenient way of getting desperate humans to do his cleanup for him. And he has all the time in the world.

primal magic won't save anyone from his will - it just harnesses the elves to Aaravos's magic rules and binds their destiny to a predetermined outcome. They've become, in a word... predictable.

There's no way to beat a Star Touch Archmage at his own game. He literally wrote its rules. So what's a bright young kid like Callum to do?

To quote War Games, "the only way to win is not to play."

Callum's in a unique position, in that he knows who he was before he had an arcanum. Back when he could choose his destiny every day, without binding him to some powerful force he doesn't fully understand yet. This might lead him to a very difficult and dangerous choice, and it could break the game, and the world, wide open.

If Callum can choose to learn an arcanum, maybe he can choose to forget one.

If he can un-know the things that bound him to that magic destiny, he'd be free again, of Aaravos's reach and of his influence.

And that's just for him, but if everyone else is trapped too, how can he help them and hurt Aaravos's power grab at the same time? No idea, beyond "someone hand him a powerful magical artifact and wait," at this point, but I'm sure he'll find a way to break something important eventually! Something vital to the structure and distribution of magic itself, preferably.

If he manages to find a way to destroy magic itself, then everyone would be free. There would be no rules binding anyone to Aaravos. There would be no dark magic feeding off its fumes, either. It's theoretically possible that destroying primal magic would undo the taint of dark magic, all in one go.

And we all know how Callum loves to go around ruining ancient and powerful magical objects. Kid's got quite a track record by now!

Maybe he's not done yet. Maybe Callum's true destiny will be both Savior and Destroyer. But he'll have to play his own game to do it - he can't play Aaravos's game and win. He'll have to fight outside of magic itself. And if he's going to put down his most powerful weapon, forged by someone else - by the mastermind himself - and try without it, then he'll need help, just like always.

[ryansjane]

Hey!! As a writer I want to know what's your take on confession scenes. Like best to worst? And personal faves!

hi hi! ooooooh, that's a good question! I'm gonna be honest, I don't think I remember a particularly bad confession lol, I think usually they're either basic & forgettable OR beyond iconic! here's the iconic ones that I literally adore beyond words, though:

SEANWHITE'S ROOFTOP CONFESSION

who is surprised this is the first confession I need to talk about? okay, okay no need to all raise your hand :'))) so one very special thing about not me is that there is no "I love you" or "I like you" said, yet both seanwhite & danyok are the most loving, strongest couples I know. seanwhite are literally the most lovey-dovey couple in existence, 100% written as soulmates, yet their love isn't expressed in the way we usually expect. in that respect, sean's confession on the rooftop which barely feels like one, is literally the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. "this is the goal that keeps me alive. and you are too." BITCH, THIS AIN'T A LOVE CONFESSION, THIS IS SEAN TELLING WHITE HE KEEPS HIM MOTHERFUCKING ALIVE!!! this is it, bruh. no other love scene hits this deep. I'm crying again. bye.

TEH & OH-AEW'S NIGHTLY CONFESSION

oh no, what a surprise that my other all time favorite bl is here too 😲 we were talking about confessions that aren't really one, and this falls in that category too! I just love how effortlessly the scene goes by, without ever saying "I like you", and the way oh-aew confronts teh about him liking him too in a way that is not attacking him but also not ignoring the reality of the feelings that they possess. a beautiful, calming scene that is burned in my heart forever, just like the entire show!

JACKZI'S STAIRS CONFESSION

there are very few scenes that make me cry bc of how heartfelt they are, and this is one of them! the acting is top tier, the writing absolutely beautiful & I cannot imagine this scene being more perfect than it is! it's not even a classic confession bc there's no "I love you" exchanged (very much a pattern for me atp lol), but simply zao zi saying "don't leave" is enough to convey how much these characters care for each other! this scene is beautiful despite it being incredibly sad, in a way that HITS so much bc they essentially have their most innocent, happy go-lucky character completely break down after a betrayal. it's, in my honest opinion, the actual saddest scene of the show bc it's so unexpected & cuts so deep. truly one of my all time favorite bl scenes & an absolutely amazing way to see these characters confirm their feelings for each other.

UNTWO'S MULTIPLE CONFESSIONS

so everyone must know that I'm the untwo queen, and it's truly bc both untwo confessions scenes are literally some of my favorite scenes EVER. the first one is a cinematic masterpiece! un is holding a door as he works on the decor for the student play, and two is the one to confront him about his feelings. this scene feels super raw & uncomfortable bc it truly IS for both characters, and ultimately, un, who wanted to escape from the situation, ends up professing his love for two who interrupts him bc he can't take it. this scene is pure tension & pain, just like I love them lol, and the metaphorical (and physical) door between un & two is an amazing concept for the shot!

the second confession is EVEN MORE ICONIC, though! theory of love is such a good show bc it's literally the best homage to movies I've ever seen, and after breaking things off with both un & linn, two finds a copy of 'the perks of being a wallflower' (a very good movie I love which makes this scene even more powerful imo) which is a movie he lent to p'un and the movie that unites them. realizing he can't let p'un move abroad, in perfect romcom cliche, two rushes to the pier where the last boat to the mainland has left, only for p'un to have already come there to confront two one last time. the scene that ensues is beautifully written, and the sentence "you know the answer" IS MAIN COUPLE IN AN ICONIC ROMCOM WORTHY!!! it hits so hard & is exactly why, despite untwo being only a side ship, they were my favorite ship for 3 years before seanwhite showed up lol.

ALSO kudos to tangmolove's confession where the acting is really good & phunnoh's confession that's so heartfelt!!! lmao this is truly just a list of some of my favorite ships :')

xxx

[cadaverdolls]

Yellow! It’s time for the plushie gun!!

Who is it today? Andy from @dolbog !!

Lots of DOL PC and OCs have been coming on my recommendation recently. Tumblr serving them on a plate for me :3

☁️ Poof! ☁️

I was having some issues with getting the hair the right color for some reason.

Doll break down below!

I was unsure if I was seeing wrong but it looked like the character had some little spots of lighter skin (like a birthmark) so I added it. This could be done by bleaching parts of the doll before sewing it together. I’d recommend using fur that’s either long or medium length. Hair has some volume and most doll hair I’ve seen is super straight. If it was just for display then doll hair could be a good option. Doll hair needs to have boiling water used on it to set hair styles most of the time and need to be maintained or not touched after. For the bangs I think a separate piece would be good. For the TFs I think having them sewn on would be good. If you wanted demon wings then maybe magnets or having a wing pattern embroidered on the back of the doll.

Drawing wise I tried going all out with what I did with the last doll. The shine, shadows, the texture, and the fur lines. I made the hair a bit too shiny probably… oops.

Bruh I’ve been sleeping so bad recently and was going to finish this before lunch but I woke up after lunch.

[muggycuphead]

weird flex but ok i guess pt.31

30

War…Hold up, do we really need a warning for this one? Dunno, but however, watch out for slightly disturbing and kinda…disgusting imagery, trypophobic patterns, as well as ‘necrotic’ (and dark themed) designs I made while having funky fever bc o h m y g o d do I get a little crazier every new quarantine day (and at this point it’s coming to be an usual thing for me, big sad). However, most are made no other than for the sole sake of satire, so y’know, no need to get your underwear in a twist

Friday Night Funkin’ BoyFriend’s Hood – AU fanconcept sketches [XXVI]

*Note: this occurs almost a year after BF moved in NG city and met up GF, alongside the nights out they go on

1. Not-so-discrete sneak-in

(GF and BF are just casually walking by the street, when suddenly…)

“…Yo, what’s going on there?”

“Huh?”

(BF turns to where GF is looking at, and sees a strange rocky-humanoid guy sneaking in his family’s workshop after breaking the lock open)

“What the... oh, oh no. G, that guy is clearly looking for trouble, we gotta get him fast!”

“Wait, you sure? He seems tough, even for me…”

“That ain’t no excuse! I’m gonna defend my family’s place even if I gotta take a few blows for it!”

“…You know what? F it, let’s go get that rascal!”

Now that’s what I call having quite the guts

2. Track-down

(BF and GF walk over the shop, being as quietly as possible)

“{There he is…}”

“{What is he even doing…?}”

“{Looks like he’s meddling around with the gas supplies…Not much of a surprise considering who he is, honestly…}”

“{…Well, what’s the plan now?}”

(BF takes out his phone he brought along and takes a picture, then sends it to Broddy and pockets the phone back)

“{Hopefully it reaches soon. For now, we must keep him busy until they come over}”

“{You do realize you could’ve just called the cops with that, right?}”

“{We can’t risk having him run away}”

(The intruder finally notices the mumbling from afar, and turns around, slightly noticing BF and GF hiding through the dark)

“Looks like I got company here, huh?”

(GF gasps as softly as possible) “{Oh no!}”

“{It’s time, now or never}”

Y’all I tried make this one make sense without derailing to overboard nonsense; FNF might be funny hehe most of the time but bruh

Though y’know, we talking about kiddos here, so…y’know

3. Facing off the crook

“What’re ya pipsqueaks doin’ here, huh? Didn’t ya mommas ever told ya not to snoop into other people’s business?”

“Well, first and for most, you basically left the door open there so it’s not like you weren’t sort of ‘inviting’ us in anyway; also kinda dumb for a burglar that should know what he doing if you ask me”

“And talk about snooping into other’s business, that’s exactly what’cha doing here at mah family’s property, yo grease rat! But be sure I ain’t gonna let’cha get away with it, no siree nay!”

(During BF’s speech, GF cast a spell under her breath and emerges her wings out, catching flight soon after)

“And neither am I”

(Charcoil chuckles, leaving his stuff behind and getting slightly closer to the kids, cracking his knuckles with a smug glance)

“Well, would’cha look at that? Little kids tryna be thugs here, how cute. But if you two are down for a buffet of roasted knuckle sandwiches then I’m all for serving ‘em. C’mon, chump, show me how much can you take!”

Bro sure ain’t afraid of the fuzz

This is up to each’s imagination now, idm

4. His loss, yet her motivation

(Suddenly, in the middle of the racket, BF gets distracted and Charcoil, taking advantage, punches him on the face, dropping him aside and knocking him out in the process)

(GF pauses and looks at him with worry) “B!” (Yet, she’s interrupted by Charcoil trying to do the same to her, but failing as she flies away from him)

“Pft, what a joke; boy was so eager on getting my ass, yet didn’t last long enough to get through with it. You really should reconsider ya peer pickin’, girl”

(Wrong choice of words.txt)

(GF gradually goes from concern to anger…to straight up vindication, as she frowns towards ‘Coil)

“…You wanna go bro? YOU WANNA PIECE OF ME?!” (fires up) “I’LL SHOW YA!”

Mess with someone of your same element, you ass

5. Fuck ‘em up

“For a defective demon child, you got quite the blow!”

“Shut your trap, jerk!”

Again, up to interpretation for the most part

But still

YEAH DESTROY ‘EM WOWOWOWOW--

6. BAD BAD BAD BAD

(Suddenly, in between the whole mess-a-roo, Charcoil gets an idea, and quickly taking one of the gas supplies, throws it towards GF as she casts a fireball spell, which ends up hitting the gas tank)

 “OH NO!”

“Gotcha!”

(The gas tank gets shoved towards the remaining gas supplies, as Charcoil jumps away, “taking cover”)

(Seeing the upcoming disaster, GF quickly drops herself onto BF, covering his body with hers and her wings, preparing for the worst to happen next)

Fuck you Charc u piece of shiitake

[bruhtechno]

Game Changers: Digital Marketing Services | BruhTechno

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[malevolententity]

WOE PROJECT 6 BE UPON YE

every day my patience with pattern markers grows thin. i can and will write essays about this franken pattern project that i Am calling done for now but i might do some more work on in the future. SO this is two patterns of the same concept that ive put together because i was not going to fully reset because the first pattern was absolute ass. i truly do not know if the issue was with me or the pattern as they would call for stitches and then tell you how to do the stitch and it was a different stitch! and i made sure it wasnt a uk vs us terms issue but i still had issues! the dud coaster is the darker blue one my mug is pictured on i like how after a lot of trial and error i got the flowers to look flowerish but idk not a big fan of it waaaay to much effort trying to make the stitches work that ill never work it up again. the basket is very pretty honestly but to actually hold the coasters ive had to stuff it with all my yarn scraps that m hoping to one day maybe turn into my own cobbled together yarn? because without the stuffing it just collapses from the weight of the coasters which is why! this project may not be done as there is another basket tutorial m looking at (that goes with the other 2 coasters i made) that based on how it looks is flatter and might hold the coasters much better. but that is definitely a thing ill work up down the road and Probably not tomorrow as i do adore the little basket i have now. AND SPEAKING OF THE TWO OTHER COASTERS i love the flower pattern the whole coaster was a time sink because of how the leaves must be worked but it was so very worth it. from project 3 (tarot sleeve) i still have a skein and a half of that red and purple that if i ever work up more of this specific flower pattern i might see what that yarn gives me! although most likely ill just find another flower pattern to try (theres a tulip one m interested in) so that every coaster is a different flower and looks the most like a bouquet as i can get. unfortunately i used acrylic yarn so i am loathe to use these with hot mugs but time shall tell with the shit coaster if i can use it with hot mugs long term!

also this project took roughly 6 hours with all the frogging trying to make the original pattern work and in generally learning 3 new patterns! (last hour and a half from episode 5 all the way to an hour into episode 7)

season 2 thoughts so far

dude can the lil guys just get a break? joui almost died AGAIN BUT LIKE A DEATH SAVE HAD TO HAPPEN LIKE BRUH LEAVE HIM ALONE FSDJKHFS arthur has had the worst fucking time and honestly i would not be surprised if towards the end of the season he does a suicide run because hes lost everything and everyone but ivete and idk if thats enough to keep him from going insane. i just. i dont know how to put episode 6 into words besides that i am soooo glad to have made it out of that episode because it was Heavy. episode 7 has been chill for the most part. they kept talking about sucking hoses. they kept saying various party members needed to strip to prove they were gonna start trying to shoot each other again. pretty normal table top hijinks and a good place to end for the night/the project.

i honestly have no idea what m making next. part of me Wants to try making a cardigan but all i have is acrylic which is itchy. and i def dont have the skeins for a whole cardigan plus cardigans i feel like would take minimum 22 hours? and i dont really. wanna have a 20+ hour single project. i like my current insanity of having done like 40ish hours of projects this past month and none of them going over 10 hours (besides the wretched bag). time to go through my ravelry in a few days time and see if anything jumps as being interesting or if m gonna have to spin a wheel to pick a project.

[thorne1435]

Hey thorne (can I call you thorne?), How've you been? Just wanna drop some more music recommendations, hope you enjoy this lot!

Someone Great - LCD Soundsystem

Maps - Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Do You Want To - Franz Ferdinand

Skinny Love - Bon Iver

You can call me anything, honey. ;)

Someone Great: Is this about a divorce or a miscarriage? Maybe an abortion? Anyway, I noticed that the synths aren't perfectly tuned, I think. They're ever so slightly sharp or flat (I couldn't tell you which). Like, they aren't quite tuned to 440 Hz, which always creates a certain surreal quality in a song as modern as this one. I mean it's not like it's from before 440 was the standard, the musical style is clearly modern, it's just...not tuned right. Makes it sound like it's from another place in spite of the fact that it's so perfectly familiar. I think this reflects a degree of separation from The Event that the lyrics telegraph as well, especially in the third verse. Artsy. I really like this one.

Here's a song my mom likes, probably for the wrong reason.

Maps: With album art like that, I was expecting something a bit more...noise-rock, y'know? Their voice has a delicate, soft-spoken quality, which is an interesting contrast to the typical rock instrumentation. Not that that's uncommon really, but I always find it interesting when I see it.

I'm losing track of what songs I've already recommended. Have I already given you Nothing's Coming Out? I know I've given you something by Remember Sports before.

Do You Want To: The chord progression has four measures of the same chord, and then on the fifth measure it raises the chord by a fifth. This is something that was common in classic rock and swing. The interesting thing is, what you expect from that pattern is for it to play 4 measures of the first chord, 4 measures of the second, and then flip back to the first for 4 more. This song doesn't do that. Just as you expect it to repeat the chord from the 5th measure, the 6th raises the chord by (what I'm hearing as) about another whole step, which shatters the pattern I expected, because it's not even as long the pattern typically would suggest. Phrases are not being grouped in 8 measures in this song, it's more like 6, and towards the end I was counting 4, I think. So that's neat.

This song reminded me of Roy Brown. This is really old, but give it a shot because Roy Brown slaps.

Skinny Love: This sounds like acoustic Imagine Dragons. Fortunately for me, I like Imagine Dragons. What the fuck is this about, anyway? It's a break-up song, I think, but like, I can't place the feeling they're trying to convey here. It's vaguely sad?? But it's really hard to get a read on it beyond that. It's not bad, but I don't think I get it.

bruh do you want sad guitar music? my man. i got you. do you know who dar williams is?

[iamheadphones]

June 9, 3027

“Well does anyone else want to play?” Marina asked as she looked around the room. “Hate to break it to you, but I’m making dinner tonight, with Maya.” Kris said as Marina sighed as she leaned into the couch. “Bruh Dinner isn’t for another several hours.” Emily said as she looked back at Kris. “Well I don’t want to get lost in the game, and have to be pried away like last time.” Kris explained before they walked into their room. “I’m sure you can have a three player game.” Lapis said as she continued to play whatever mobile game she was playing. Suddenly an idea popped into her head. Looking at Lapis sitting there with all to entertain her being her phone, and the sometimes the intense race that had been happening before her. A smile crept on her face. “You know maybe you should join the game Lapis.” Suddenly Lapis’s shoulders tensed. A reaction one wouldn’t see as normal, and yet she had all but expected it. “I uh, I don’t know uhm, I haven’t played it before. I’ll probably be really bad at it.” Lapis stuttered as she looked away. “It’s ok if you haven’t played before Lapis. It’s also fine if you’re bad at it. I remember I was absolute trash when I first started playing it.” Emily said as she shrugged. Marina looked back over at Lapis. Her face was unsure and goosebumps covered her arms. Marina removed one hand from her controller and put it on Lapis’s.  “Let’s try four races. Just those four and then we’ll stop. Besides, you might like it, and you might be secretly good at it.” Marina spoke gently as she looked into her eyes. She gave her a sweet smile. “I’ll go easy on you, and help you.” Lapis sighed before nodding. Marina handed her the controller Addie left behind. Lapis shakily took it as Marina started up a new game. She felt Lapis's warm body pressed against her’s. Marina smiled as she leaned her head on Lapis’s shoulder. She wrapped an arm around her and put the game on no com. “Sorry Laura, but we are not doing the freaking challenge of rainbow road. We’ll only be doing the easier maps.” Marina said as Laura nodded. “Still can’t believe you choose that map out of everything.” Emily muttered as Laura rolled her eyes. “It’s not my fault I’m so great at it.” She made her way through the many maps before pressing one named baby park. “This one just makes you run in circles. So it’ll be a good place to start.” Marina explained as she looked up at Lapis. Lapis nodded reluctantly as she turned towards the computer screen. Marina pressed the start button as the familiar loading screen played before the typical map tour began. One that she had seen many times, and one she had been grateful to learn she could skip. This time it was special. This mini tour was something Lapis needed now. A thing she needed to see. She always recalled her needing stability. A habit that took some time on her part. She always was the type to need an awareness of what she was doing before she did it. Then there were the four cars against a checkered pattern on the ground. Then the numbers counted to go. Just as it hit she pressed down on the pause. “What was that for?” Emily groaned, but she kept her voice down. “I’m turning on the auto drive for Lapis.” Marina said as she turned to Lapis. “Press down Y to turn on auto drive. That way you don’t really need to press down on the drive button, and it’ll make it a bit better with steering.” Marina explained. Lapis pressed the Y button. Marina smiled at her. “To drive normally you have to hold down the A button. To steer you have to use the joystick. SInce you have a combined controller it’ll be the one on your left.” Lapis nodded as she looked back up at the screen. “Ok, I’m ready to start.” Lapis said with a face filled with fear, but a small glint of determination filled her eye. She pressed A and the game began. “When you drive, try to go through the boxes with question marks.” Marina said as the two dashed through a colored box. A variety of items flashed before they landed on two different things. She had a ring of green shells. Whilst a singular red shell appeared in Lapis’s hand.

[mamachu]

Thinking abt a darling who doesn't mind the yan being overly rough, in fact encourages it idk bruh I just felt like being deranged n it's 4 am. Pathetic reader agenda mayhaps

TW: includes from Twst, Genshin, Idv and black survival (in that order), Nsfw, Physical abuse, dubcon, hair pulling, blood(as lube and no lube), mentions of bone breaking, anal, Beidou has a dick, Childe is only in this bc he fits don't get ahead of yourselves

JACK(howl) who feels extremely guilty about it. He has such a moral high ground and doesn't wanna hurt you :( but as soon as you slip something into his drink even just once he's already chomping down on you in a frenzy. The blood that leaks from whatever accidental wound left makes good replacement for lube in the heat of the moment. Bonus points if darling is extremely smaller than him, he'll encase himself around you with ease, no escape present from whatever you've gotten yourself in. Absolutely plunges yourself on his monster of a cock, all the while holding you down with his much stronger strength. Apologizes A LOT the morning afterwards

FLOYD, a complete 180 from Jack (as expected), who would absolutely adore this type of darling. He can squeeze you as much as he wants and you won't even complain about it ! Toss you over his shoulders, manhandle you, pull roughly on your scalp, grope you a little too rough. He drags you into the sea with him and wraps his eel form around you tightly, would you rather him take you now like this or rough you up a bit more beforehand? It doesn't matter to him either way, you'll always be his favorite little willing stress toy, one he can always bruise up to his liking

-

CHILDE would enjoy this type of darling too. Knowing how excited engaging in fights gets him it's no surprise that a darling who purposefully encourages him to get rough with them would turn him on. It doesn't matter whether or not you know how to fight, he's definitely not holding back with you. Once you're completely beaten down for him he'll take you in that poor state right then and there, all bruised and beaten and he's using your hole as if it were a flesh light. He'll be alot rougher if you still have enough energy left to try and fight him too, but worry not, his grip is iron tight in your hair

BEIDOU is eccentric! She's really trying to be nice but she just can't help but skewer you on her cock and fuck you so roughly in front of the rest of her crew. Using that harsh tight rope to tie you up and then hold you down with a singular hand as she pounds into you from behind. There's no preparation for this either, she gets too lost in the moment watching the way your ass collides into her hips with every snap. Her hands grip too harshly around your chin and force you to face her with the embarrassing little expressions of pain and pleasure on your face.

-

JACK purposefully rips through your clothes with just enough pressure it slices bits of your skin, leaving very evident claw marks. His behavior towards this type of darling doesn't differ from the normal yet he appreciates how you willingly let him do with you as he pleases and don't fight with his rough handling. He'll tower over you regardless and still gets to watch how much you squirm underneath him so I doubt there'd be a major change. Absolutely let's the crust of blood that came from his claws serve as "lube". Specifically similar to Childe whereas he takes you right after knocking you down, you were just too tempting my dear, it's as if you wanted him to tear right through you.

YIDHRA is another one who also takes no major changes. It's in her sadistic nature to torture you already after all. Letting her talon esk nails leave little patterns around your skin, bruising in a dark red as she wraps her self around you and squeezes you tight enough to the point it feels like your suffocating, own bones threatening to crack under her weight. Her idea of 'rough' comes through the games she plays with your mind, many empty threats that have you on your feet squeezing your thighs together in thought of what she can do to you

-

LUKE will never outwardly show how much he loves this kind of darling. He acts like he doesn't wanna hurt you yet immediately pounces on you the moment you show weakness with your back turned to him. Completely fucks you up and you won't even know it's him during the act. It's a mixture of a one sided fight with the addition of his cock bullying itself into your asshole giving you no room to breathe. I'd like to think he acts all sweet with you afterwards when you meet again outside the games, acting as if he wasn't the one to put you in such a poor state in the first place.

ECHION is exactly like Childe but in a bit of a dumb way. Always itching for a fight with anyone who will gladly take him on. Yet you're confusing to him, you want him to fight you yet make no moves to defend yourself? It's probably a turn off at first but eventually he comes to appreciate it knowing how he can take advantage of your willingness outside of the games. It's not counted as "violence outside the games" if you're willingly letting him force you down like this. It's not like anyone wants to get in between you both anyways when he's plowing his thick rod into your behind.

Stan loona

[sj0228]

astro notes for fun lol

HEY! this is my first astro observations post so don't be too hard on me lol unless u wanna then sure maybe i can improve them somehow BUTANYWAYZ this is for entertainment purposes only!! obviously these are just my own observations so if they don't resonate with you don't get offended or you're a big ol' 🅱️uss so here they are!! also SHOUTOUT TO MY AMAZING FRIENDS fyi i got sum help from them by asking them billions of questions to confirm my suspicions so uh hope that makes the observations more accurate LOL ANYWAYS HERE THEY ARE!! i'll probably make more in the future cuz i think they're super fun to make :D also if u couldnt tell uhm this isnt very professional im not professional BUT I TRIED TO MAKE IT PRETTY so pls dont be bothered lol im just doing this for fun i didnt even wanna make an astro page so yea </3pretty unreliable LMAOOO

👩🏻‍🦲 the house your mars is in is what pisses you off the most!! (eg. 1st - people assuming things about you, 5th - people beating around the bush, 7th - things that disrupt the harmony of your environment, 9th - the need to hold back your opinions because others get bothered by them being "offensive")

👩🏻‍🦲 cancers are true ambiverts and i've truly never ever seen a cancer who wouldn't be both introverted and extroverted at times. they are always either social introverts or quiet extroverts lol. or both!! (somehow 0_0) they enjoy people's attention, whether it's wanting to be noticed or appreciated or generally cared for, and they need their alone time. they tend to be very productive at those times, too.

👩🏻‍🦲 ok i have a lot of notes for cancers so it's gonna be a lot lmao sorry anyways!! i've also noticed they LOVEEE breaking loose every once in a while, if not every time they're given the opportunity! thing is, it's usually only if someone else is there to convince them or do it with them. they don't like taking risks alone! they are very impressed and fond of the 'wild child' persona people because they bring out the cancer's wild side!

👩🏻‍🦲 libra moons are absolutely loved by people, it's so crazy! like, no matter what they do they always have attention on them. this can manifest badly if the moon person is actually pretty horrible, things they do tend to be overlooked and others move on pretty quickly from their mistakes, letting them do whatever they want. i wanted to give an example but uh,,,,, i shall.. refrain😳

👩🏻‍🦲 libra suns with water moons are so scary when they're angry..

👩🏻‍🦲 cancer moon is what i deem as the zodiac sign cute-ifyer lol. literally any "tough" sign like capricorn, scorpio or aquarius becomes a super cute goofball with this moon. WEIRDEST THING EVER THOUGH is that it doesn't work for cancer suns?! like if a cancer sun has a cancer moon this just makes the person very confusing but very funny. they can brighten anybody's day without trying!

👩🏻‍🦲 okay uh this isn't an astro note as much as it is me being a phucken simp but uh..... I HAVE AN UNDYING LOVE FOR ARIES SUNS I WILL MARRY EVERY EACHAND ONE OF YOU ISTG. ARIES SUNS ARE THE NICEST AND FUNNIEST PEOPEL I'VE EVER SEEN YOU HAVE THE BEST HUMOR EVER AND YOU'RE SO KIND TO EVERYBODY YOU'RE SO KIND I LOVE YOU YOU'RE TOO GOOD FOR THIS PLANET I WANT TO HUG YOU FOREVER okay jbshxhjn but fr aries are the best people ever?!?!?!?!?!?! pls

👩🏻‍🦲 okay JUST SO THIS WHOLE ARIES MENTION ISN'T JUST A POINTLESS LOVE CONFESSION - i've noticed a lot of ♥aries♥ people use the laughing crying face emojis (😂,🤣) unironically and it's honestly.....the best thing ever

👩🏻‍🦲 taurus suns do this sometimes as well

👩🏻‍🦲 THE MOST UNHEALTHY PERCEPTIONS OF ZODIAC SIGNS ARE PUT ON FIRE SIGNS, NOT THE WATER SIGNS AND THIS IS COMING FROM A PISCES!!!!!!1 every stereotype is always showing fire signs as those sunshine of the group people, the baddies, and the ones with the biggest 'idgaf' attitude. and while this can totally be true sometimes, most of the time it's super different! sad fire signs break my heart pls i just wanna hug you guys T-T they have it the hardest because unlike water signs who are already expected to be emotional, they often repress their emotions for the sake of others and because of the fear of betrayal or judgement, or just generally the idea of "it's better to have fake friends than to have zero friends". YOU GUYS PLEASE. cut these people off from your life you deserve soo much better i know it can be super hard to open up for you u just need a hug omg EVERYONE PLEASE CHECK UP ON YOUR FIRE SIGN FRIENDS ASK THEM ABOUT THEIR DAY N STUFF THEY WILL APPRECIATE YOU CARING FOR THEM! pls stay best and take care sweethearts ily!!!

👩🏻‍🦲 i've also noticed that some of the signs tend to show their sadness through anger - this is not just astrology though so if your friend has been jumpy lately please just check on them they are probably going thru sth😳 anyways the signs i mostly saw this in are pisces, aries and libra.

👩🏻‍🦲 cancers with feminine moons (earth and water) tend to be pretty introspective. they often think they're the ones being mistreated, and while this of course might be true, in reality it usually goes a lonnng way back lol. they often pay very little attention to others!! (masculine moon sign cancers (fire and air) can often be too focused on others more than themselves) this can be good because they don't snoop in other people's business but oh my god, guys, please pay attention to your friends, too! this WILL lead to lost friendships because, let's be real, nobody wants a one-sided friendship with someone who only cares about themselves! i don't want to target anybody here but this is just a pattern i've noticed wayyyy too often, so you might want to look into it and if you think this is you all you need is just to enlargen your perspective and it will all be okay. but please, PLEASE. think about your friends

👩🏻‍🦲 i needed to get this^ out because people often put this on leo placements but tbh i notice that leo placements are THE MOST generous of the entire zodiac and they always think of others first and that's what really makes them so popular. they very rarely are as egocentric as everybody says, they're just really loving and that makes them very lovable!

👩🏻‍🦲 scorpio risings are the prettiest people i've ever seen. not even kidding bruh i could stare at them for EVER their eyes are absolutely gorgeous and their mannerisms are just perfect pls marry me

👩🏻‍🦲 gemini and taurus placements make an individual soooo chill to the point where it often makes them lazy and a biig procrastinator lol. tho i love how they make light of it by using their amazing humor!

👩🏻‍🦲 you most definitely have your IC be one of your family members' sun sign or one of their personal planets. i have a taurus ic and my sister is a taurus sun!

👩🏻‍🦲 sagittarius suns are the best huggers cause THEY REALLY NEED A HUG SO GO HUG THEM RIGHT NOW. pls guys why r u so sad..

👩🏻‍🦲 scorpio mars aren't even as sexual as everybody says tbh. but they definitely do have some interesting.....interests ;)

👩🏻‍🦲 pluto aspects to personal planets are very prominent, but very hidden. if you have them, most likely you will be the only person to know about this side of you and it can be pretty dark..

👩🏻‍🦲 planets conjunct your sun will be the people you attract most in your life (venus conjunct sun - taurus and libra, jupiter - sagittarius and pisces, mars - aries and scorpio EVERYWHERE)

👩🏻‍🦲 your moon sign will be the sun sign of most of your friends

👩🏻‍🦲 if you don't quite relate to your ascendant, look at the sign you have in your 3rd house and at your mercury sign. this is how you communicate, convey your ideas etc. and will often be a major factor in people's first impressions of you :)

👩🏻‍🦲 lilith aspecting your sun may mean there's a side of you nobody knows.. 👁👁 you're also probably very convincing and people can be very drawn to you and they can't explain why. this also goes for lilith in 7th, especially in girls!

👩🏻‍🦲 you and your friends probably have each other's sun signs as your personal planets!!

👩🏻‍🦲 the kindest person you know is probably either a virgo or an aries.. and the meanest person you know is also probably a virgo or aries LOL

👩🏻‍🦲 capricorn suns & risings are THE hardest to read!! if they don't say what they mean people will just assume and they're never going to be right it's wild 👩🏻‍🦲 also capricorns definitely have the most dad energy, while sagittariuses are more like actual dads jdbshxcvb

OKAY THAT'S ALL!!!! im sure i have more but its 2 am i have school tomorrow or actually its today now so bye uh anyways there will most likely be more so if u liked these stay tuned!! oh and let me know if they were true witchu :o thats it love u stay awesome and super cool i love u byebye!!

[oraclemilf]

Hare-Brained Scheme

MCYTblr AU Exchange @mcytblraufest gift for @apatura-iris-atelier

For easier reading convenience and applicable tags check it out on ao3

Technoblade had been in a lot of sticky situations in his life. If Technoblade were the kind of person to be completely honest with himself, he’d admit that maybe some of those times were… potentially avoidable. Maybe.

It’s not as though Technoblade is stupid, far from it, he’s regarded by his community as a guy who can get things done.

Do you need someone to calculate the odds you win the prank war with your neighbor? You call Technoblade.

Do you need someone to tell you why all your crops keep dying? You call Technoblade.

Do you need someone to help you fudge your part of a group presentation? You call Technoblade.

It’s just… Technoblade had a weakness. A massive, debilitating weakness that just so happened to be extraordinarily easy to exploit. However, Technoblade, in all his infinite wisdom, learned to keep this weakness a secret, so no one could ever exploit him.

“I cannot believe your plan to lure citizens into a metal cage with carrots actually worked.”

Some situations, however, were completely unavoidable.

Techno groans as the world begins to take form around him in throbbing, painful waves. He hears something clatter and painstakingly wrenches his eyelids open to stare down the startled form of his assailants in a dirty, abandoned warehouse.

At first glance, Technoblade sees two figures, both clad in haphazard villainous costumes and cowering away from his deceptive carrot prison.

One appears to be some sort of avian hybrid, as evidenced by his small red wings flaring behind him and flapping as he back-pedals away from the cage, pulling the other with him by the arm.

The other figure, being much taller than the other, trips over his acquaintance, before face planting on the concrete with a yelp and belatedly teleporting away a second too late. Techno nods to himself. An enderman hybrid then.

Both costumes follow a similar pattern, just being black jogging suits outfitted with elbow and knee pads with hand-crafted cardboard devil masks. However, it seems the enderman hybrid attempted to spice up his persona by adding a genuinely authentic-looking crown and jewelry, while the avian skipped the bells-and-whistles and instead attempted to add an emblem in red duct tape on his mask and chest. What it was supposed to be, was anyone's guess. If Techno was gonna take a shot in the dark, he'd say it looked kind of like an upside-down T.

Techno hauls himself into a sitting position, before cocking his head at his attackers, unimpressed.

“Bruh… What were in those carrots?” Techno moans, rubbing his head. He unpins his flower crown from his updo and shakes his braids loose. “I mean, they were delicious, but I did not want to take that nap.”

The enderman hybrid shakes himself out of his stupor, before grabbing the arm of his compatriot and turning to whisper into his ear.

“Tommy, I thought you said your drug mix would keep him out for a whole day! It’s only been an hour!” He whisper-shouts at the avian, unaware that Techno’s ears begin to twitch as he speaks.

“Shut up Ranboo!” The avian, Presumably-Tommy, growls at Probably-Ranboo. “My drugs are– My drugs are like beautiful, respectful women who are perfect all the time. It’s his stupid flowery pink bitch body that's broken.”

Techno rolls his eyes at the squabbling of the Definitely-Teenagers and leans over from his sitting position and taps a sharp nail against the lock of his cage.

“I hate to break up the middle school drug ring committee but can I go home now?" Techno drawls, withdrawing his outstretched hand to slump against the bars. “Because as much fun as this is, I need to go take a Big Kid dose of Tylenol.”

“I– you– bitch– we’re not fucking middle-schoolers bitch! We’re big men and supervillains and we’re holding you for ransom and you’re gonna die bitch!” Tommy splutters, going red in the face, still maintaining his distance from the cage.

“You’re not going to die if we get our ransom money.” Ranboo amends helpfully.

“Right… So what is this like one of those social experiment videos for TikTok or…” Techno’s sentence trails off as he begins to look around the abandoned warehouse for hidden cameras, still leaning on the bars for support.

Tommy’s wings puff up, as he begins to stomp towards the cage. “What? No! We’re fucking real-deal supervillains bitch! Look scared!”

“Mm… Nah.”

Tommy’s hands ball into fists at his side, and his wings flare wide, which would almost be impressive if his wingspan was over 2 feet.

‘Listen Bitch-Face! I’m the Red Streak, and I’m the meanest electrokinetic you’ve ever seen. Yeah, I’ll shock your grandma while she’s knitting you a scarf, and then, while she’s all shocked and shit, I’ll throw her off a pier!” Tommy’s hands begin to spark for dramatic effect.

It’s almost intimidating until one of the sparks catches on the edge of his sweatshirt top and ignites. For a moment, it seems to evade his attention, as both Techno and Ranboo stare at him wide-eyed, in abject horror. Smugly, Tommy tries to plant his hands on his hips in victory before noticing the small blaze that is making its way up his side. Shrieking, Tommy throws himself to the ground and begins to stop, drop, and roll in what can only be described as practiced precision.

On the heels of Tommy’s failure, Ranboo seems to catch his second wind and struts forward as well. “And I am the cunning villain Call of Duty! And I possess the ability to call simple-minded creatures, much like yourself, to my aid!”

Ranboo begins to fish around in his jogging suit pocket before procuring a small tree frog, that he gently sits on the ground.

“Attack Minion!”

Minion valiantly hops towards Technoblade, crossing the barred threshold into enemy territory. Minion faces her enemy and daringly launches her tongue at Technoblade’s fragile kneecap, hitting it with unimpaired precision.

Even so, the accuracy does nothing to change the fact that tree frogs are harmless to any creature larger than a fly. To Minion’s credit, Techno is impressed enough with her bravery (and cuteness) that he abandons sulking against the cage wall and scoops her up to place in his overall pocket.

“So is it just frogs?”

“Huh?”

“Is it just frogs that you can control?” Technoblade asks, using one finger to gently pet Minion on the head.

“No! Of course not!” Ranboo splutters, disgruntled.

“Yeah!” Tommy pops up, freshly extinguished. “He can also do toads!”

“Shut up To– Shut up Red Streak!”

“Okay. Okay,” Techno waves his hands in a calming gesture, instantly quelling any bickering before it had the chance to start, “here’s what’s gonna happen. You’re gonna let me go because between you and me no one is gonna pay any ransom for me. I live alone with my dogs and I don’t think they’ve learned to crack safes yet.”

The boys begin to protest and Techno raises a finger to shush them.

“And I’ll help you come up with less awful villain names. Because c’mon bro Red Streak? That– Heh– That sounds like something you don’t wanna see after you wipe. I mean, at that point just stick with Tommy.”

“How do you know my-”

“And Ranboo don’t even get me started, like, you just stole the name of a mid-level first-person shooter, and their lawyers are ruthless bro, you’re not gonna be able to market anything, not a good time.”

“How- how do you know our names?” Ranboo stutters, his look of shock evident even under his mask.

Wordlessly, Technoblade motions up towards his giant, fluffy bunny ears.

“Oh.” His shoulders slump, defeated.

“Fucking- fucking wait a second.” Tommy shakes his head, pulling off his mask. “Now that you know are real identities, why don’t we just kill you, and come up with better names ourselves?”

Ranboo perks up. “Yeah!”

Tommy reignites his lightning, which now looks much more intimidating when not being aimed at his clothing. Ranboo unsheathes a sword from his belt and they both advance on Technoblade. Minion lets out a strangled croak and ducks down into Techno’s pocket in fear.

Techno reassuringly pats his Minion Pocket, sighing. “Fine. I’ll choose blood.”

As the boys advance onto his cage, Techno rears back and slams the door open, sending both boys flying. He then uses both hands to propel himself forward and flip onto the top of the cage.

“It’s over! I have the high ground!” Technoblade yells triumphantly. Minion echoes him in a croak of victory.

“Fucking how?” Tommy splutters. “That door was locked!”

Laughing, Technoblade draws out a slightly worse-for-wear bobby pin out of his Minion Pocket, before tucking one of his braids back with it.

Both pseudo-supervillains clamber to their feet as Techno readies himself for another attack, before they’re interrupted by the warehouse door crumpling like wet tissue paper. Stepping into the warehouse, accompanied by his horde of sentient shadow vassals, is the Top Hero, Crowfather.

Everyone is silent as he strides towards the battle. Technoblade can’t help a small gasp of surprise. He didn’t think these vagrant teens would be big enough targets to warrant hero attention, much less attention for the number one hero in all of Ohessempi.

Crowfather dramatically sweeps off his hat and disregarding Technoblade entirely, turns his steely gaze towards the amateur supervillains. Both gulp as they cease all aggressive action to cower.

“Ranboo. Tommy. You little shits are in so much trouble.”

Oh. Crowfather knows the vagrant teens. Okay.

“We weren’t actually gonna--”

“He kicked us--”

“We just wanted some money to–”

“You never wanna hang out with us anymore--”

Crowfather holds up a hand. “Nope. Not listening. Both of you get home before I got to start crafting a belt.” He reaches for his Hardcore Heart belt in warning.

At the mention of a belt, both boys gather up their supplies and scamper off into the night, escaping Crowfather’s Disappointed Dad aura for a short while. Some shadow vassals trail after them, Crowfather clearly not quite done with either child yet.

As soon as they’re out of sight, Crowfather’s menacing aura dissipates and he groans, hands shooting up to rub at his temples.

“Sorry about the idiots. They’re feral.”

At the display of genuine human emotion, Techno shakes off some of his star-struck awe to shrug nonchalantly.

“Eh. I was handling it.”

Crowfather glances around, nodding at the evidence of Ranboo and Tommy were getting their asses kicked.

"I can see that. Impressive, Tommy is a powerful electrokinetic and Ranboo is an experienced telepath. What troop unit do you belong to mate? I’ll write you a good review.”

Techno shakes his head, grimacing.

“Nah, Nah, Nah. I’m not a suit-wearing kind of guy. I’m just a farmer. Just got caught in the wrong place wrong time, you know how it is… If I’m free to leave..?”

Techno hops off the cage and glances rapidly in between Crowfather in the door, indicating his desire to no longer be there.

Crowfather blinks surprised. “Sure mate, although I think you’d be good–” His sentence peters off as Techno quickly rushes past him and hops off into the night.

All Crowfather hears as the pink blur whips past him is a distant “Byeeeee.”

*** A short while later, Philza, the feared villain Angel of Death soars high above the crumbling expanse of his kingdom, watching his civilians unseen under a cloak of darkness.

Finally spotting what he was looking for, he lands on a nearby building and watches as Technoblade arrives home, mobbed by dogs, and disappears into his house, only to reemerge a short while later with a watering can.

Watching Techno tend to his flowers with a mild sort of interest, Philza blindly digs through his pockets for his burner. Upon finding it, he flips it open and speed-dials the only number saved.

Eyes shadowed by the brim of his hat, the Angel of Death smiles. “Hey, Sneeg? I think I found the perfect fit for our plan.”

Below, Techno finishes up tending to his plants early. Maybe it’s just his run-in with the teens, but he can’t shake the feeling of being watched.

[dilfwaynes]

virgin!wanda x experienced!reader?

⚢ pairings ; wanda maximoff x fem!reader

✗ warnings ; oral sex, wanda being a complete shy virgin & reader guiding her, praise kink.

a/n: not edited !! but i will be making this into a full oneshot when i have time. feedback is welcomed obvi i want her so bad bruh

navigation | masterlist | requests are open !!

“let me shower then we can watch your little white family sitcoms,” you tease bumping your shoulder against hers playfully

she rolls her eyes at you, smiling slightly at your banter and the comfort you seep into her

lessening the pain of pietro somewhat, you were one of the few who automatically welcomed and forgave her. as well as going out of your way to check on her and hang out

even after her few rejections of you trying to pry in and cheer her up, it wasn’t until you saw her watching malcolm in the middle and got into a conversation about it, that she finally warmed up to you.

starting with shyly waking you up in the morning to get breakfast with her or sitting by you for meetings or eating settings

all those shy gestures were adorable to you, especially when she picks at the hem of her clothes when shes shy or nervous/unsure

needless to say you did have fun playing at her shy nature, especially when you interlock hands with her that sometimes leads to you bringing her hand down to your thigh

if you’re feeling bold and extra needy for the witch that night, getting the okay once you feel her timidly slide her hand upper to your thigh and draw patterns against your skin

though it never went anything past that with most of the time wanda never touching in any sexual way unless you parted her to

but you couldn’t really count simple touches on your thigh sexual if you were to be honest

you sigh out feeling the steaming water pour on your skin and heating it, the release of the tension you’ve been feeling between your thighs somewhat with the scent of sandalwood filling your nose and your playlist in the background 

wanda’s eyes flickers to the tiny ajar in the doorframe at catching your reflection through mirror

her throat runs dry when your eyes catches her and you simply stare back with sultry through hooded lids

she quickly turns her eyes away with flaring cheeks and pretends to busy herself with finding a sitcom for you guys to watch

not paying attention to the soft thud landing on the floor

“hi.”

with slight redden she slowly looks at you timorously, mouth going muggy at you naked with the towel on the floor.”hi”

without a second thought you walk over to her, her hand already out to catch your waist. staring up at you as you settle down on her lap and pulling her into a kiss

“wait, krasivaya devushka hold on,”she gasps out from your hold, retraining you from going back to getting her tongue down your throat.”i-i’ve never done this before”

you tilt your head at her embarrassed gaze before giggling out softly and cupping her cheeks” wanda are you a virgin?”

from the pink that tints her cheeks and lack of answer gives you everything you need to know

her eyes falters, turning away and beginning to pull away from your hands, embarrassed and annoyed, thinking you’re judging her for still being a virgin at 19 probably

you shake your head and tight your hold on her

“shhh thats okay, don’t worry baby, i’ll teach you.”giving a quick kiss to her both of her cheekbones, and lips before you gently intertwine your hand with hers, pressing your lips to her sharp jaw

you take in her shaky breathe as you take her hand and place it on your waist, taking ahold of her other one and guiding it to your throat

gripping the back of her neck and kissing her hard enough to lose your breath

moaning at the soft hesitant squeeze she gives out at your neck, her hand sliding from your tiny waist to your ass, squeezing.

“fuck wanda,” you sigh out breaking away from the kiss to take in air.”lay back”

you nudge her down towards your bed and getting off of her lap to slide down to your knees

“tell me if you want me to stop,”she hastily nods with her hands already at the roots of your hair, tugging lightly at your hot breathe on her core

scooting up her black skirt and peeling away her underwear and give a long strip against her sex, reveling in her breathy moan.

wrapping your lips around her clit and grinning at the jitter of her hips, her grip tightening in your hair

”blyad, just like that malysh,” she cries out pulling you closer by your neck and grinding on your face to cum.”so so good.”

the praise going straight to your pussy as well as wanda tugging at your hair

clamping your tongue with her walls and grinding her pussy against your face, you know shes close to cumming

“gonna cum all over that face”your eyebrows rise slightly at the sudden change of talk, her shyness disappearing.

with a final jitter of her hips and scream you feel her cumming in your mouth and leaking to your lips and chin

she pulls you up by your hair and kissing you, moaning at the taste of herself.

she gasps out before finally pulling away for breathe,”i think i kinda got the hang of it.”

she laughs breathlessly before pushing you on the bed,”my turn now sweetheart.”