#like can i have a redo of 2019-2021

[1eos]

What’s your take on Taek always posing with Starbucks lately? I’ve been so conflicted. Many people have tried to educate him but he hasn’t stopped

hmhmmmm. what im abt to say isnt exclusive to him this is just my general stance when it comes to ppl w privilege being out of touch but its one of those things where im not gonna defend it. obviously. if anyone criticizes him (or anyone else i like) im not gonna fight them or try to make excuses but im also not gonna fall into the trap of centering all talks of palestine around a celebrity!

i purposefully havent been talking abt who has and hasnt been boycotting starbucks since november bc i saw someone point out that if you searched palestine on twitter the results were literally clogged with shit abt idols and that's not productive esp bc a lot of ppl have not spoken a word abt palestine until a famous person was caught w starbucks and suddenly theyre mobilizing to get them to stop posting their drinks but will never mobilize IN GENERAL

and this isnt just about kpop i remember being skeeved out by the beyhive for palestine stuff bc theyre STILL focusing *beyonce* when she's a millionaire! she's not starving! and she said nothing when break my soul became a fucking war song for isnt real which is way worse than starbucks i can admit that. and i remember during the big wave of black lives matter how frustrated i was that everyone just wanted to make it all about what this celebrity donated or how this celebrity was forced to post abt blm and to make ethnic cleansing abt idols is just a million times more fucked up.

i say all this to say that in general. me, personally, im always gonna try to put more effort in actually centering palestinian issues. i do feel guilty bc as much as i would love to be immune to the celebrity machine im not 😭 and i have the privilege of escapism when millions don't. like i slipped up and thoroughly enjoyed ushers half time show without even thinking and woke up the next morning and saw all the zionist shit he had posted months earlier. BUT instead of letting that guilt propel me to try to push a celeb to boycott to make myself feel better im gonna use my energy and privilege to send money every paycheck, boycott myself and spread awareness and talk to the ppl i *can* influence :')

and i hope this doesnt sound like one big cope 😭😭😭😭 ive been disappointed in a lot of ppl including really close friends who hate isnt real and are sympathetic to palestine but aren't consciously boycotting and resolving myself to do more and focusing on the ppl who *are* doing what needs to be done has been better than worrying abt how *i* feel when in the end of the day im (relatively) safe

[horseshoemybeloved]

My “ The Fababois/Vibe Check Fob “s throughout the years!

Here is my latest piece, it was inspired by the album “ make it sweet “ by milkcan ( which I believe is a fictional band from the video game um jammer lammy ) because I was trying to recreate it, I opted to give them clothes and hair like the characters in the video games.

Here is last years ( 2022 ), it was the first few months of using my iPad, so I wanted to do some sort of digital stuff, I made the background out of a cardboard box and random trinkets I had around.

then we have the 2021 rendition :) this one is a direct redo of my first ever drawing of them, I think you can def see a difference between this and the OG lol. I got way more confident in my cartoony sketching, which helped me stulize them a bit more.

Here’s the 2020 version, tbh I’d really love to redo this piece cus like,,,,,,, it’s bad LOL. Perspective WHO.

And then lastly the original from 2019 :) even tho it looks like kinda bad now that I’ve improved it still holds a special place in my heart cus of how positively everyone responded when I first showed em off :)

[fleouriarts]

who are your biggest artistic influences my furry friend? we had art classes together for years but i still feel like i don’t know 😭

😭😭😭 honestly thats probably cus a lot of my artistic influences are specifically internet artists that ive been following for several years and not things i couldve brought up in art class. you know that lame ass mr smith wouldve hated me if i said 'yeah i draw like this cus of some bts fanart girlie on twitter'. thankfully i have the Archivist's Temperament and save like literally everything thats had an effect on my style... so below is a journey thru my artistic influences (and various insp folders on my computer) as far as i can remember

of course the most basal Dorian Influence is disney movies. you are my brother in arms in the lion king fandom so you know this. whenever i am feeling extremely artistically bankrupt i try to revitalize myself by rewatching the lion king, atlantis, and treasure planet. and also the prince of egypt but thats dreamworks LOL

in 2016 i found the first "online" artists i distinctly remember wanting to imitate, which were sara kipin and celia lowenthal because i was obsessed with how they used color to block out their illustrations. ive also been following dimetrodone(/dimetrodrawn/deinocheirus) on here since 2016 and love all the shapes and colors in her work

in 2017 i started doing more detailed shading because i saw bts fanart by the artist tyu_naxx on twitter and loved how they did it (below is like THE piece that made me change my whole shit up)

around then is also when i started trending towards using limited palettes and that was mostly inspired by various national parks promo artworks that would only have like 5 colors in them. wish i remembered who made these but heres ancient scans of some postcards i got at sequoia national park that changed me

in early 2019 i started wanting my style to be more cartoony so i would constantly peruse the backlogs of kiwi, officialspec, skunkes and mimiadraws to get whatever inspiration i could from them

in late 2019 i completely pivoted for some reason and started doing lineless rendered semirealistic stuff instead. i think that was mostly cus i hated doing lineart. one of my biggest inspirations in that era was atissi

in 2020 i remember i went crazy stupid on using glow effects and chromatic aberration on stuff and i genuinely think all of it can be traced to this ONE piece of bts fanart by lordizxy on twitter like i was fully obsessed (putting it below also in case it gets deleted somehow)

mid 2021 was when i got tired of semirealism and thought it was too amorphous and restricting so i went back to cartoony shit. i was still looking at the artists i listed for early 2019 but i also added artists like iplidl, catmunches, and chunkysoup22 to the mix

2022 was an inspirationless nightmare i have no clue what i was doing for that entire year. the artblock was BAD. i mostly just looked at art from all the artists i mentioned before while artistically wandering in circles. a lot of this was me trying and failing to figure out whether i wanted to do more dynamic yet less rendered art or... the opposite of that

thankfully in 2023 i finally FIGURED THAT SHIT OUT. i would say the current dorian art era started with this silly drawing of graydon and riley hivemind as a dogboy and a catboy ⬇️

you can kinda see the influences of all the cartoonists i listed above but a lot of the way i draw now is just. me trying to not make myself hate doing art. ive always hated redoing a line 30000000 times for clean lineart so now its sketchy. rendering my art was making my drawings feel super stiff so now thats all messy too. etc etc

i think Right Now the artists i go to for inspiration the most are still kiwi and skunkes, but i also found the artist robottoast recently who makes RIDICULOUSLY good furry art, its so full of life and personality and i definitely need to commission them someday. the most recent singular piece thats changed my whole shit up is this scott pilgrim fanart by benadieshekiel (also below) because i really liked how the clothes were fully rendered while the skin and hair are less detailed with clear lineart. so sometimes i do that too

ok i think that is as full of a chronicle of Dorian Influences that i can give you rn. i was not lying when i said i wanted to yap. hope you enjoy <3

[animerunner]

Hello, do you by any chance know when the crew found out about s3 shortening?

I remember it being in s1 finale release and they were either practically done with 2A or started a bit 2B?

2A is completely not changed? And 2B is fully changed or there are some aspects from 'old' plot?

I am just not sure.

Oh boy so apologies for the info dump. Sick again. No filter.

So I don't think Dana ever said dates officially outside of one exception. But you can kind of piece together what happened when based on what she has said.

That being said the S1 debacle wasn't when they found out from what we know. Just when she had a dispute with one of Disney's higher ups.

Dana has said episodes normally take a year minimum from start to finish.

Which puts 2A beginning production at the earliest in Jun 2020. Probably earlier. So regardless before any of this went down.

Dana has also said before that Follies was being written during the Election. Particularly I think she said it began writing on Election Night.

So writing and ideas for 2A were definitely done by that point. Even if it was the basic idea.

And we know S3 began production in mid December 2020. Because Dana at that point deactivated her twitter fully until April of 2021. Because in her own words she needed time to just focus on that. Because that's when Disney made the decision to only do 3 specials.

And considering the timing of when Follies started production. This is probably when they started shuffling around plots for what they needed for 2B.

Because most likely at that point they were too far into the production of 2A and where they were planning to finish it to change it.

Also we know S3's details hadn't come out by August. Because Dana mentioned wanting to give Luz a quincenera as part of the third season. On Sep 2 2020 during the AMA on Reddit

This combined with S2 being greenlit before even S1 (Nov 2019) aired. Means 2A would have been in production well before the announcement came through. And considering the year minimum. and when 2b began being written. Its fairly safe to say it was written and done before Dana got word from Disney.

And considering its a year from when 2A was greenlit to Follies begining to be written. Its also probably safe to say that writing wise it was easier to change things with 2B which was just beginning production at the time of S3s decision. Than redo both halves if that makes sense.

And that was if they were going to get one.

So yeah definitely didn't have it then.

So to not really summarize but to outline the timeline of production from S2 onward we know:

Jun 2020: Latest point for when Separate Tides started the process of production. More than likely earlier. But this is the latest. Most likely considering S2 was greenlit all the way back in 11/19 it had been in production for a while.

Aug 2020: Dana and one of the higher ups butt heads.

Sep 2 2020: Dana mentions in an AMA that she wants to do a quincenera for Luz. But it will be in the third season if its get greenlight.

Oct 2020: Stream happens we see several details froom 2A. Including half of Hunter's head.

Oct-Nov 2020: Follies at the Coven Day Parade begins to be written. So YL would have been finished writing by this point. And Dana probably has an idea of what she wanted originally for 2B.

Dec 2020: Dana announces she's taking a break from twitter and deactivates her account.

Dec 2020: Dana is told that the third season will get only three specials. Which is why the above happens because the change in structure means she needs to focus on the shift.

Apr 21: Dana reactivates Twitter.

May 21: S2 and S3 are officially announced and Dana confirms that her stepping away deals with the later.

Time between 2A and 2B: We start seeing announcements of storyboarders and such saying their farewells. Indicating in hindsight the early parts of S3 are now wrapped.

Feb 22: Sarah and Zeno both comment on recording lines for the specials during a streamily.

Mar 22: Someone can't remember who on the crew (think it was Rebecca Rose) mentions that there still working on parts of 2B as its getting ready to air.

Sep 22: Thanks to Them is given an officail air date

Oct 22: NYCC happens. Dana comments they just wrapped the episode about two weeks prior. Thus cementing how long it takes for specials productions. And probably giving us an idea that 2B wrapped sometime in April or early May production wise.

[11bountyhunters]

i felt like redoing that one post comparing rates of left handed people and rates of kids coming out as transgender and it's captioned "funny how quickly it increased once it became accepted"

I need to like. actually cite this but here's what i have:

Rates of left handed people

[Photo id: a line graph of the rate of left handed people from 1860 to 2000. there's a vertical dotted line at 1900. It starts at 2% in 1860, is mostly horizontal until 1900 where it sharply goes up until 1950 where it stays at 12%. End id]

Rates of people identifying as LGBT+

[Photo ID: a green line graph comparing rates of people coming out over time. It's labeled "Americans' Self-identification as Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, or something other than heterosexual". The line graph starts from 2012 at 3.5% self-identifying as lgbt+ and ends at 2021 with 7.1% self-identifying as lgbt+. 2018 and 2019 are not labeled. The line is gradually increasing with a sharper increase from 2020 to 2021. End ID]

First graph is from a pdf file i found titled "The history and geography of human handedness" by I.C. McManus which seems like a reliable source? It has 2 pages of double column sources.

Second graph is from Gallup. I wish it were more ~dramatic~ and i wonder if i can find a source that starts the graph at 1980? I want to be as inclusive as possible and i want to see if i can find something with as much as a dramatic curve as the left handed graph i found. I think i might need to shorten the width of the graph via excel?

[my-weird-news]

🔥 Taylor Swift Drops 1989 (Taylor’s Version) Bombshell! 🎵

Taylor Swift's Encore Extravaganza: The 1989 Remix Revolution Oh, buckle up, folks, because Taylor Swift is back with more remixes than a DJ at a wedding trying to make 'Macarena' sound fresh! 🎵 She's just dropped the bombshell that she's diving headfirst into the time machine to rerecord her iconic 1989 album. Yep, you read that right! It's like she's hitting Ctrl+Z on her own music career and saying, "I can do better. Watch me." And the announcement? Oh, it's Taylor Swift being Taylor Swift, the queen of "I'll release my news on a day that holds the secret code to my favorite candy." 🍬 On August 9th, the ninth day of the eighth month, during her sold-out Eras tour, she drops this nugget of musical magic on us. Seriously, Taylor, are you performing a concert or cracking the Enigma code? Now, if you're not up to speed, Swift started this wild ride of rerecorded tunes back in 2021 with Fearless (Taylor's Version). You remember 2008, right? When most of us were bopping to the Black Eyed Peas and pretending to know how to Dougie? Well, Taylor's giving it a 2021 makeover. Then she unleashed Red (Taylor's Version) because apparently, she had more feelings to express than a teenager in detention. But wait, it gets better! She's back in the studio chair for Speak Now (Taylor's Version). I mean, is there a version of Taylor that isn't hers at this point? The answer is "1989," the year she becomes Swift squared. 🤯 But let's rewind a bit. Picture this: it's 2019, and guess who's got a shiny new toy? Scooter Braun! He gets Taylor's old record label, Big Machine Records, and all her master recordings like he's got the golden ticket to the music factory. Now, if you've seen any superhero movie, you know what happens when the villain gets his hands on all the powerful stuff. Taylor Swift went, "Oh, no, you didn't!" and set out on her mission to hit the rewind button. Enter the rerecording revolution! Taylor's like, "Hey, Scooter, remember all those songs you think you own? Well, I'm just gonna redo them, and you can't stop me." It's like she's making musical clones, but they're all better dressed and have fewer Scooter-related problems. 🕺 You see, Taylor's got a new record label, Republic Records, and she's got some serious contract-fu going on. She's like, "I'll take my old hits and make 'em new again, and this time, they're mine." The music world equivalent of flipping your childhood home and making it fabulous. 💃 But while all this musical mayhem is happening, Taylor's not just twiddling her thumbs during the pandemic. Nah, she's not knitting sweaters or baking banana bread like the rest of us. She's busy surprise-dropping albums like it's a game of musical roulette. Folklore? Check. Evermore? Double-check. It's like she's trying to single-handedly outdo the pandemic with a symphony of songs. So, here we are, folks. Taylor Swift's putting the "re" in "record," and it's like she's playing a life-sized game of Monopoly, buying up all her old hits and showing Scooter Braun who's boss. And just when you thought your playlist was safe, she drops the 1989 bombshell. Brace yourselves, because Taylor Swift's rewriting history, one song at a time. 🎶# Taylor Swift's Encore Extravaganza: The 1989 Remix Revolution Oh, buckle up, folks, because Taylor Swift is back with more remixes than a DJ at a wedding trying to make 'Macarena' sound fresh! 🎵 She's just dropped the bombshell that she's diving headfirst into the time machine to rerecord her iconic 1989 album. Yep, you read that right! It's like she's hitting Ctrl+Z on her own music career and saying, "I can do better. Watch me." And the announcement? Oh, it's Taylor Swift being Taylor Swift, the queen of "I'll release my news on a day that holds the secret code to my favorite candy." 🍬 On August 9th, the ninth day of the eighth month, during her sold-out Eras tour, she drops this nugget of musical magic on us. Seriously, Taylor, are you performing a concert or cracking the Enigma code? Now, if you're not up to speed, Swift started this wild ride of rerecorded tunes back in 2021 with Fearless (Taylor's Version). You remember 2008, right? When most of us were bopping to the Black Eyed Peas and pretending to know how to Dougie? Well, Taylor's giving it a 2021 makeover. Then she unleashed Red (Taylor's Version) because apparently, she had more feelings to express than a teenager in detention. But wait, it gets better! She's back in the studio chair for Speak Now (Taylor's Version). I mean, is there a version of Taylor that isn't hers at this point? The answer is "1989," the year she becomes Swift squared. 🤯 But let's rewind a bit. Picture this: it's 2019, and guess who's got a shiny new toy? Scooter Braun! He gets Taylor's old record label, Big Machine Records, and all her master recordings like he's got the golden ticket to the music factory. Now, if you've seen any superhero movie, you know what happens when the villain gets his hands on all the powerful stuff. Taylor Swift went, "Oh, no, you didn't!" and set out on her mission to hit the rewind button. Enter the rerecording revolution! Taylor's like, "Hey, Scooter, remember all those songs you think you own? Well, I'm just gonna redo them, and you can't stop me." It's like she's making musical clones, but they're all better dressed and have fewer Scooter-related problems. 🕺 You see, Taylor's got a new record label, Republic Records, and she's got some serious contract-fu going on. She's like, "I'll take my old hits and make 'em new again, and this time, they're mine." The music world equivalent of flipping your childhood home and making it fabulous. 💃 But while all this musical mayhem is happening, Taylor's not just twiddling her thumbs during the pandemic. Nah, she's not knitting sweaters or baking banana bread like the rest of us. She's busy surprise-dropping albums like it's a game of musical roulette. Folklore? Check. Evermore? Double-check. It's like she's trying to single-handedly outdo the pandemic with a symphony of songs. So, here we are, folks. Taylor Swift's putting the "re" in "record," and it's like she's playing a life-sized game of Monopoly, buying up all her old hits and showing Scooter Braun who's boss. And just when you thought your playlist was safe, she drops the 1989 bombshell. Brace yourselves, because Taylor Swift's rewriting history, one song at a time. 🎶 Read the full article

[beautifully-lumpy]

the beautiful person's journal - #15: a history of caddicarus merchandise

before i post my proper review of the collectible world of caddicarus, i thought i would do a post about the channel's history with merchandise!

like most youtubers of his genre, caddicarus has put out plenty of merchandise. and before 2020, it was all pretty standard stuff; we had all kinds of t-shirts, with a poster and a phone case thrown in there for measure. caddicarus merchandise has gone from being offered on rodeo arcade, to the yetee, and finally to the pixel empire.

the very first piece of caddicarus merch dropped on november 17th, 2013 - the hideo freaking kojima shirt! the "cyoar!" t-shirt and gums unleashed poster were released in early 2014, and the lorne lanning and 2nd edition hideo kojima shirts were released that june.

from november 2013 to march 2018, all the t-shirts, as well as the gums unleashed poster, were designed by nico vliek/whaddupnico. the partnership suddenly ended in early 2018 - these days nico is mostly known for designing the scott the woz branding and being rosie caddick's boyfriend. nico's connection with the caddicks runs deep!

with the sudden ending of this partnership, and after the release of a bandicoot month shirt designed by cerys, caddicarus merchandise as a whole came to a grinding halt. there used to be t-shirts that would release regularly, but throughout the rest of 2018 and all of 2019, no merch of any kind was released.

...well, except for that mysterious "cyoar!" t-shirt. not the first one from 2014, but the second one released at the near end of the old caddicarus era. i don't remember exactly when this t-shirt dropped; i don't recall him advertising it. it possibly dropped sometime in late 2018 or early 2019, around the time i initially left. since this was after his and nico's contract ended, i assume cerys designed this shirt or someone else. maybe dylan west or some other PE designer.

he tried to find new designers to work with in 2019, but it seemed like this didn't go anywhere.

after the channel's rebirth, however, we had our adorable youtooz figure come along! unfortunately, i was absent for this one - i hugely regret not watching the 2020 videos as they released as i'm sure i would've been roped back in and i would've bought this figure. but hey, at least i can listen to this catchy song about it.

in celebration of the channel's branding refresh in 2021 - the first branding truly unique to the 2020's era of caddicarus - we got a displate of the new title card. and fun fact: you can still get it! before the merch box was announced, i was actually gonna ask for the displate for christmas.

then of course, we had the most ambitious and unexpected piece of caddicarus merchandise yet - the collectible world of caddicarus! as far as i can tell, this was unprecedented for this general community of game reviewers; other reviewers have definitely released blu-rays before, but this is the first time a reviewer has released a blu-ray packed with completely new and exclusive content inside a box set with many other goodies. along with the blu ray we had adorable stickers, pins, and a poster.

rejected merch

it's interesting to see what could've been. the three pieces on top, as well as the "but with shaaahks!!" are discussed on nico's behance post of the 2015 merch drop, and the hideo freaking kojima shirt redo and the cyoar shirt are discussed on the 2017 merch drop post.

the poster on the top left is such a wonderful buzzcut-era poster. i would've loved to have owned this poster as it's emblematic of the era i started watching, and i was very proud of my buzzcut/flat-era roots. also the haircuts poster is so funny because if it was designed today, it would have to be like a 3-part series.

this beta design of the slaughter or salvage shirt is nice, but overall i'm much more of a fan of the shirt we ended up getting. it looked so badass and i love how it accidentally predicted the brick wall motif the show would go on to have in the far future.

to be honest, between the two cyoar shirts we've gotten, i actually think this one is the best and it never even got released. i definitely would've gotten this one back in the day, even though current quickies wasn't one of my favorite shows (i and lots of others really only cared about it for quick J. and the "cyoar" catchphrase lol).

and the fact we didn't end up getting a "but with shaaahks!!" t-shirt is absolutely criminal.

my experience with caddicarus merch

you can bet your bottom dollar i wanted a ton of these shirts back in the day. unfortunately, i was but a young teen at the time, and my parents couldn't find out my major special interest was a sweary, raunchy youtube channel. so you can probably assume that did wonders on my mental health!

and it's a shame, because i really, REALLY wanted the slaughter or salvage shirt very badly when i was 13. that shirt, along with the 2.5D shirt, was the first merch drop that happened while i was a fan. i remember visiting family in missouri for thanksgiving on the day this dropped, and seeing the notification for the above announcement video pop up on my phone - funnily enough, it was exactly 7 years before the blu ray set came out.

it was the only caddicarus merch that dropped on the yetee. and honestly, my parents probably wouldn't have even gotten it for me regardless of the show's sweariness, because they used to not trust any website that wasn't amazon. now my mom gets disney-themed candles from small businesses on instagram.

by the time his merch moved to pixel empire in 2016, i wanted a shirt of the new-at-the-time logo. then in 2017, we had a multitude of t-shirts that i clamored to own - a got miluk? shirt, a donk! t-shirt based on a bit from the wipeout 2097 video, an adorable pappy rappy shirt, a stanley shirt, and a bubsy 3D holiday sweater. heck, i absolutely HATED the miluk joke back in the day, but i still wanted that shirt because it looked so damn cool.

fun fact - the stanley and bubsy 3D shirts dropped together in late 2017 and i posted about it on my snapchat. someone in my biology class who followed me saw it, and he told me he was a fellow fan. he was the only caddicarus fan i ever found in the wild at my high school! and you gotta think - that was a HUGE deal back then, especially during the stagnation period. caddicarus fans are much easier to find in the wild these days, but it wasn't always that easy.

the one phone case we've had dropped in 2018, and it was just the thumbnail art of the time. if i was able to get it, the thing that would've turned me off is that i used popsockets back then, and if i put the popsocket on that case, then it would've gone right near his...yeah.

as i said before, i was absent for the youtooz and displate releases. however, the collectible world of caddicarus released two months after i became a fan again, and i could NOT pass it up. now that i was 20, and my parents have chilled out about stuff like this, i could finally have caddicarus merch!

i recieved the box in march 2023, and i stayed in that living room from 8PM to 2AM, taking in absolutely everything this disc had to offer. i was exhausted by the time it was over, but it was worth every minute. it was quite possibly the most important and symbolic night i've had as a caddicarus fan, considering my past struggles. needless to say, i slept like a rock that night. it was as if 10 million weights were lifted off my shoulders. it was the first merch from any youtuber i've owned, and now caddicarus finally gets to officially sit upon my shelves and my walls with the other special interests i've had. it's like i found the missing piece to the puzzle.

but of course, i can't discuss the collectible world of caddicarus in detail without this post becoming too long. the next BPJ will be an in-depth review of the box set!

taking a broad look at the evolution of caddicarus merch shows us just how much the channel has evolved in just the past few years. no caddicarus fan in the pre-2020 days would've ever even dreamed of having a blu-ray set, simply because it wouldn't have been possible. it's even crazier when you realize the channel wasn't even supposed to exist after 2019, but through sheer luck and will, the show is still being made today and it's the best it's ever been!

[uboat53]

All right, time to take another look at Covid since it seems like most people are more and more prepared to accept that we're in a relatively stable phase with it, even the President who was elected in part based on his promises to take Covid seriously seems comfortable saying that the pandemic is over. What does that stable phase or "new normal" look like? You can think of this as a SHORT RANT (TM).

First of all, let's take a look at where we're at. At this point about 4 out of every 5 Americans have received at least one dose of a Covid vaccine, 2 out of every 3 are fully vaccinated, a bit under half have received a first booster, and a bit over a third have received a second booster according to the CDC (1).

Currently 360 Americans per day are dying of Covid according to the 7-day average (which smooths out variations in reporting through the week) and for the last few months it has averaged between 300 and 500 deaths per day according to the CDC (2).

If we assume that this is, in fact, a stable state and average this out over the course of a year, this would result in just over 130,000 deaths per year.

To put that into perspective, in 2014 only about 114,000 people died of all infectious diseases combined (3). In that same year there were approximately 2.6 million total deaths (4) meaning that infectious diseases accounted approximately 4.4% of all deaths in the United States.

If we assume that the rate of increase of about 1.3% per year in total deaths between 1980 and 2014 remained fairly constant (not a crazy assumption) 2022 would have had just over 122,000 deaths from infectious diseases. Even if we assume that some people who might have died of other infectious diseases died of Covid-19 instead, meaning that the Covid deaths cannot simply be added to the other infectious diseases, it's fairly clear that Covid-19 represents, if not a doubling, then a massive increase in the number of Americans dying of infectious diseases.

This dramatic increase in death from infectious disease is the primary reason that life expectancy in the United States, despite increasing or holding generally steady for decades, has dropped dramatically recently, dropping by 2.7 years between 2019 and 2021 resulting in the lowest American life expectancy since at least 2000 (6). To put that simply, Americans today will likely die three years earlier than Americans three years ago, and the difference is almost entirely attributable to Covid-19.

This is all the more egregious given that this is an infectious disease that is largely vaccine preventable. I won't redo all of the math here, but you can refer to a previous post of mine (5) to see that vaccines and especially boosters make people many times less likely to contract, get sick from, and die from Covid-19.

So where does this leave us? It's not great. In fact, if this is the new normal I'm going to go ahead and say that it sucks. We've basically gone backward several decades in terms of our progress on infectious disease and American life expectancy. Hopefully we'll keep improving from here and this isn't the steady state otherwise I can't imagine how much worse it'll get if we see another variant or, let's hope not, another pandemic virus.

(1) https://covid.cdc.gov/covid-data-tracker/#vaccinations_vacc-people-additional-dose-totalpop (2) https://covid.cdc.gov/covid-data-tracker/#trends_dailydeaths_select_00 (3) https://www.pharmacytimes.com/view/deaths-from-infectious-diseases-drop-in-united-states (4) https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/products/databriefs/db229.htm (5) https://www.facebook.com/troy.kuersten/posts/pfbid035woTGMjcdAqM8S5BECEMie3YLuXx5vehbpfGj3WBpgH5scWxm2LrcdkZ29vxGPkfl (6) https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/vsrr/vsrr023.pdf

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

JK Day 2021

...and what a day it was. I know we’re a bit late with this when looking at KST but in our time zone it’s still September 1st so it counts, right? Besides I wanted to wait until the day was over for them so I could have everything the members would post for JK so I could put it in this post as memory for us to look back on in the future.

Furthermore, as extension for the celebrations, I want to finally sit down, write and post our post about JK and his bonds with the hyung line since it’s been so long since two anons asked us about that so what better time than the weekend after JK day, right?

Anyway, let’s get into it, shall we?

The day before JKs birthday he came onto Weverse and posted three different things, including a cute selca:

Everyone of course turned up their creativity to post something for JK and also wondered among themselves what he planned on using those lyric comments for, and if he would use them for anything at all.

Sometime later before the new RUN episode aired, Seokjin appeared on Weverse and, for whatever reason, commented birthday wishes for JK under the Weverse post about the upcoming RUN episode. Because of course he did.

More than an hour before midnight KST everyone got a notification from vlive that JK had gone live:

And truly, considering it was about to be his birthday, I love how it felt more like it was ours with the gift that kept on giving that this vlive turned out to be. 

Lots more below the cut:

Remember those posts that JK made in the morning on Weverse? As many, including myself, had guessed, JK gathered some of the lyric comments he liked most, or thought would work best, and proceeded to turn them into an actual song right before our eyes. The instrumental was gorgeous with a acoustic guitar and ballad like melody and it was truly fascinating watching him figuring out how to sing the lines, record them, redo them whenever he felt he could do it better, add adlibs in some places, and slowly but surely a song was created with lyrics in both English and Korean.

This really was the content I’ve always craved and I’m so, so happy we got to watch JK do this instead of him just showing us the final thing. You could see him having fun, even when he got a little frustrated at times or he wasn’t quite sure how he wanted to continue or how he wanted the words to sound like, and that he really knows what he’s doing. So many claim that Bangtan have no idea about producing and recording songs, which truly is such a stupid argument to make considering Yoongi is literally Producer SUGA and we know that, if the members want to make mixtapes they have to do them themselves, which we know Namjoon, Yoongi and Hobi have done. So JK doing all of that in the vlive? Checkmate against those idiots. Especially since it also isn’t the first time we’ve seen members work on tracks, like the behind the scenes of rap line working on DDAENG or Hobi working on songs, or even JK with Stay, even if we didn’t know it’s Stay at the time.

Once the song was finished JK went on to show us several more instrumentals he could’ve worked with, each one with a different vibe, before switching to singing a song by Justin Bieber saying he really loves his songs a lot. And then it was nearing midnight so he unpacked the cake he got, white icing/fondant with purple lettering spelling out STILL WITH YOU JK, very cute.

Right as midnight hit someone started to bang on the door so JK got up to see who’d come and, surprise, it was a very excited Hobi wishing him a happy birthday including singing the birthday song for him upon JKs request while JK lit up his golden heart shaped candle.

Hobi again returned two minutes after he’d left (between when at 1:18h JK mentioned that, for the first time that night, he’d do one more song to finish off the vlive, ha) to give him an ice cream cake he’d prepared, but also to get his phone which he’d accidentally forgotten in the room JK was in.

Once Hobi really left and JK got a taste of his ice cream cake, as well as the white cake which turned out to be chocolate flavored, the vlive concert began and, at the time, none of us knew what we were in for since we all thought he’d really do one or two more songs and that would be it. And yet that very much is not what happened, at all, and I’m so grateful for it.

This might just be the funniest screenshot in existence (please take note of the time stamps):

No wonder that, eventually, Seokjin decided to come onto Weverse to post wishes for JK a second time while also saying this (the picture is from their unit photoshoot for Winter Package):

The imagine of Seokjin just sitting in bed or whatever watching JKs vlive and hearing him say last song every like ten minutes and every time he just kept going...and going...and going while Seokjin is just waiting...and waiting...and waiting? Hilarious. But it’s also really cute how he’d wanted to wait until JK was done to not interrupt him or pull ARMYs attention away from the vlive. Truly I adore their bond, it’s adorable and chaotic and so wonderfully them.

Yoongi also posted his wishes for JK while the vlive was still going.

The one who waited until it was over was actually Namjoon who, with what he said in his tweet, actually revealed that he’d watched JKs vlive as well. In his vlive JK said that at the end of their concerts Namjoon used to always give his speech like a (school) principal, as in his long ending ment speeches, and that’s why Namjoon ‘signed’ his tweet with principal as well.

Truly I love how JK was just having fun singing their songs, taking requests from ARMY, rediscovering songs, like him wondering if they really have a song called Paradise (since the Korean title is different) and finally fulfilling ARMYs wish of hearing BTS sing it live, as well as being surprised and confused by requests for Heartbeat asking himself if them really have a song like that. But since ARMY kept asking for it, he finally looked it up and his reaction to realizing that, yes, it is a real song of theirs and also that that’s the song we were talking about which he’d completely forgotten about? Hilarious but also kind of heartbreaking for all the Heartbeat enthusiasts.

Here is the full list of all the songs he sang, some for longer, some shorter:

One thing that this vlive showed really well was just how amazing of a singer JK really is. It’s easy for people to dismiss his talent during concerts or performances, since they could always argue that him and the others get help due to the backing track etc., but here we had his raw voice singing along to their songs much the way any of us do. And he sounded stunning beginning to end. He’s such a talented singer and he’s worked so hard on his technique and voice and it’s really showing. Thinking back to what he said in his BE comeback Weverse interview about how he’d like to one day he brave enough to do a three hour concert on his own, I’d say this vlive shows that really shouldn’t be any kind of problem at all. If ARMY can listen to him essentially do karaoke for one and a half hours, then attending and enjoying a full on JK concert would be no issue whatsoever. It’d actually be amazing, I’m certain, and I’d totally be down to seeing that potentially become a reality one day in the future.

After two and a half hours, the vlive ultimately came to a close and JK said his goodbyes.

Hours later Hobi appeared on Weverse wondering what pictures of JK he could/should post for his traditional picture “spam” and everyone was immediately super excited. Hobi’s gallery holds some wonderful treasures so we all looked forward to what he would end up posting, though it would take a few hours until it would happen.

The funny thing is that he posted the first twt twice since the picture with Namjoon in it had Hobi’s iPhone in it which, as good Samsung representative, was a no, no, so he deleted the twt and posted it again with some stickers covering the phone. So cute. And his picture choices are wonderful. I particularly love that picture of JK in the white room dressed in black from back in 2019 when they performed Boy with Luv. And also their picture from a dinner the two of them went on together back in 2018.

In the meantime before Hobi posted his pictures, as requested in the picture that BH had posted for JKs birthday on the staff BTS account at midnight, one of the members posted his meal though it’s unclear which one of them it might’ve been. Looks super yummy though, wow.

And eventually the final member to come and wish JK a happy birthday was Jimin (and yes, I know Jimin’s twt came before Hobi’s but considering Hobi already wished him a happy birthday at midnight, that makes Jimin the last one):

Trans (cr. haruharu_w_bts):

our maknae happy birthday  i wish <you a happy birthday> a lot and a lot #KkookieHappyBirthday #JIMIN #HAPPYJKDAY

Taehyung didn’t post anything but considering his track record of doing something for the members off social media for their birthday, like giving Namjoon a forehead kiss, sending birthday wish videos to Seokjin (including roping others into doing it as well), or wishing Jimin a happy birthday as part of the MOTS ON:E exhibition, I wasn’t all that surprised by this.

And with that JK day 2021 came to a close. It started with a surprise (as in both the song based on ARMY comments and also the concert afterward) and ended with one as well, as in the In The SOOP Season Two announcement.

I hope JK had a wonderful day, celebrated happily with his members, friends and family however much that’s possible in these times, as well as with their busy schedule, and that this new year will be a happy one for him full of success, personal but also career wise. I’m curious and excited to see what will happen.

[dainty-business]

workout challenges i’d like to try, i’m hoping i’ll try at least 1 this summer(dw, i’m gonna force myself to follow one cuz i want to be fit and skinny by the time school starts and for that, i need to get my shit together)

wow

2 Weeks — Flat Belly & Slim Legs — emi wong

10 Days — Fat Burn for Weight Loss — emi wong

Chloe Ting 2019 2 Weeks Shred Challenge

2021 Weight Loss Challenge

10 Days — Flat Belly & Abs — emi wong

15 Days — Full Body Fat Burn — emi wong

yes, they’re all from chloe and emi 🙃i’m actually planning to finish 2 this summer (yes, i’ll workout after doing those aswell), i just wanna try them yknow?? but ye, i’m hoping to finish 2 this summer and then just try the others next summer or during school school breaks, unfortunately i really can’t workout everyday when i’m in school cuz i wake up at 6, go to school, get home by 16:00-16:30, cook for myself, eat, watch a tv show, study and then i’m already going to sleep 🙃i mean.. i study late and wake up early so i never have energy + some days are longer for me cuz i sometimes have tests i have to redo or that i missed when others did them

i’m planning to rejoin dance classes next year so that’ll also keep me moving, that’s why i’m planning to work as hard as i can this summer, i need to get my body to be lovely to myself so i can actually do something i love for once without feeling like shit abt myself

[mystic-hysteria]

Sims Flashback Challenge

Challenge created by @lovelysimies

Rules: There isn’t any rules, just snap a photo of two sims, one recent and one of the oldest you can find and post it! Tag it #simsflashbackchallenge and @lovelysimies so I can see your progress!

Tagged by: @fwaldorf (thank you so much king ❤️❤️) 

Old Pictures:

I had to dig up my old ass saves to get these pics, and to make it more exciting we’ll start from the newest old, to the oldest old pictures I have 😊😟

This picture was taken around 2019 I think. It was a household where I ressurcted Rainelle and she ended up having 4 kids and married Orion Tricou, This family... it will show up again since I liked playing this save so much and remade it a hundred time ;-;

Oookay we’re getting a bit older here, this was taken in March of 2018... If I could redo it, I would use different poses I think. These guys were my Bloom legacy and things got very quickly got out of hand. THEY JUST KEPT HAVING TWINS, 3 sets of twins to be exact rip.

AHHHHHHHH THIS HURTSS. This was taken in 2016 when I didn’t use Gadwin (howw??) and just... I don’t want to explain it but I owe it to the people who had to see it. I was trying to be one of the cool kids and write a story - which was VERY edgy btw - revolving around the character on the floor, Abbigail. Thanks 13 year old me, mom should’ve confiscated the sims from you to save my current self the embarrassment ;-;

New Pictures:

Okay we’re getting to the pics I actually like and can tolerate my eyes looking at. These were taken in April of 2020 when I was play PleasantSims’ Fairplay. Surprisingly enough I was productive and actually posting stuff aside from cc ahaha. I’d say the biggest change is that I stopped relying so heavily on poseboxes. I like the in-game animations and I try to use them in pics as much as possible.

I told you we were going to see the Rainelle’s descendants again! This was taken in July of 2020. To sum it up, this was a reboot of the OG Rainelle save part 12 I think. It-It’s a problem I know. I’m actually really happy with this save though! Also little fun fact, all of my models in my downloads are sims from my game, and almost all of the sims on HTS are people from Rainelle’s family :)

And finally 2021! I haven’t taken actual photoshoots of any of my sims yet, I’m thinking of doing one for my BaCC at the end of the round though. Ignoring the sims in the back, I really love this picture :D I love the ST teens, and I think this picture is just so cute ;-; Out of context I’d say it looks like something Jenny would take if she invited Ophelia and Ripp on a holiday with the Smiths XD

Oh boy this post became super long 😅 Tagging: @hyegracielog​ @deedee-sims @silverspringsimmer @twofee @kooli-sims @vidcunds @vixsims @socialbunny @falkii @sinjin-balani @fwaldorf @isabella-goth @cindysimblr @simgaroop @simpuke @withlovefromsimtown @frauhupfner @yandereplumsim @jennysmiths @mdpthatsme @strangetomato @midgethetree​ @elfpuddle​

[alyxcantplay]

UNIVERSITY 2016-2019

TW:// Mental Health, Anxiety, Depression, suicidal thoughts, Eating disorder, Alchohol addiction, drug use.

I went to the University of Portsmouth from 2016 to 2019 (dodged a global pandemic lol)

I think I don't talk about it cause it was probably the worst time mentally but the best time as well.

Made some cool friends and had some amazing memories and had a good time and it felt like a high, like a constant good time when we were creating together.

At the same time, I had a tonne of panic attacks, I mentally broke down after a breakup from a long term serious relationship. I wasn't in the best headpaace towards the end of my term at university.

I post some images from a couple of years at uni, I think year 1 and 2. I was amazing don't get me wrong, to anyone who was in my university course with me, thanks for the memories I mean it.

I just wish I had the chance to actually redo it with a clearer mind and a focus I didn't have as a naive 18 year old. I'm 24 now, it's been nearly two years since I left university. Would i have done things differently? Yes! Can I? No.

During my time where I was having my lowest low point, my suicidal thoughts came back with a punch. And they came back hardcore, I started eating away at junk food by myself to have the hope of maybe it would kill me, But I think apart of me knew it would only make the probelms worse. Alchohol didn't fill the void, neither did weed. It only made my current thoughts louder. I eventually had a seizure related to the drinking and weed mixing and I told myself no more large amounts like that again. It was that brush with death that made me rethink where I wanted to go in life.

I think back now and I'm glad I did it. I may go back one day and change what I want to do, maybe that career path wasn't for me. Maybe I'll actually pass my first year and not have to repeat. I'll take a year out next time, I'll make new friends and use my past mistakes as learning oppertunites. Take it more serouisly next time. Who knows. It's never too late to change your life plans around. hell may even do History or work on my Photography. maybe Film and Televison, maybe I wasn't ready for you yet. One day maybe... I prefer being behind a camera anyway.

Bring on 2022. Who knows what i'll do. 2020-2021 is a write off in my book. I'll use my quater life crisis and make it a quater life turning point. Maybe...

Time: 01:00am BST Date: 11/07/2021

[themattress]

2012 to 2021: The Amazing Race

One of the most bizarre coincidences in my history of media consumption is the decade-long race from set-up to pay-off in three separate Japanese-made series. In 2012, Kingdom Hearts: Dream Drop Distance, which was said to be the lead-in to the long-awaited Kingdom Hearts III, was released on the Nintendo 3DS by Disney and Square Enix. Later that same year, Pokemon Black 2 and White 2 were released on the Nintendo DS by Nintendo and Game Freak, with a corresponding Pokemon Adventures manga arc (which would be a direct continuation of the current Black/White arc) confirmed. Finally, the third movie in the cinematic anime tetralogy Rebuild of Evangelion, titled You Can (Not) Redo, was released.

From that point on, it was a race to see what would end up completed and released first: Kingdom Hearts III, the Black 2/White 2 arc of Pokemon Adventures, or the final Rebuild of Evangelion movie. As it turns out, it would end up being those three in that exact order, but not without incredibly frustrating complications and delays for all of them happening first.

Kingdom Hearts III won first place, releasing its base version in January 2019 and then the Re:Mind DLC completing it a full year later in January 2020. This was following a long development cycle (the game was officially announced back in 2013!), the delayed release of the remastered console version of Dream Drop Distance with an additional KH3 prologue included, and the game itself not making its originally announced release date of 2018.

The Black 2/White 2 arc of Pokemon Adventures ended up in second place. After a truly excruciating amount of hiatuses in its serialization that affected the whole series’ volume releases, the arc began its uninterrupted final stretch in 2019 and was completed in both serialization and volume release in 2020, with its US translation being finished this year.

The final Rebuild of Evangelion film, titled Thrice Upon a Time, comes in at dead last place, being released...just three days ago, after having been delayed from its originally projected 2015 release date (due to both director Hideki Anno’s renewed struggle with depression and his agreement to direct Shin Godzilla) to five years later in the Summer of 2020, only to then be delayed again to January 2021 because of the COVID-19 pandemic, only to then be delayed again to March on account of a State of Emergency being declared as a result of the same goddamn pandemic! You’d think that between a video game, a manga, and a movie, the movie would be the easiest one to finish and release, but this one defied all expectations!

So, were they worth the wait? That’s a matter of opinion, and for me it’s largely dependent on how much I liked the initial 2012 build-up. I despised Dream Drop Distance, and so it was inevitable that Kingdom Hearts III disappointed me and I don’t consider its conclusion to be worth the wait it took to get there (and yes, this includes with Re:Mind - that improved it, but it couldn’t save it). I love just about anything Black/White-related, including the Black 2/White 2 games and the Black/White arc of Pokemon Adventures, so naturally the completion of the Black 2/White 2 arc was worth the wait for me, and years from now its release history will no longer matter and it can just be enjoyed by readers for its own sake. And my thoughts and feelings on Rebuild of Evangelion, including its third movie, are complicated, and so with its fourth movie I feel in terms of content it was technically worth the wait yet I also feel the reasons for all the delays are far less excusable than the ones for KH3 and the B2/W2 arc. Thrice Upon a Time could have come out in 2015 and it wouldn’t have made a difference.

In short, when all’s said and done I like the first place winner the least, the middle place winner the best, and the last place winner is in the middle for me. What a crazy-ass race!

[kamccormickhnd1b]

Recycle Evaluation

The second brief of 2021 was one called “Recycle”, the idea was for us to use old and discarded objects within our home, anything that was old or had obvious signs of being well-used, and we were to paint them with light, section by section, and then put it into photoshop to bring out certain areas we like to create an image that is, to put it simply, made up of each highlight from our painting with light images. We were using old items to make one final result out of everything we had photographed.

For the most part, I absolutely hated this brief. Painting with light has never been something I’ve done much research on nor was it something I’d done much of, while in NQ, we briefly did some painting with light, but nothing to this extent, and even then, I thought I knew how to do it when really I didn’t as I was always getting light trails involved in my images. Thanks to this brief, I have a strong understanding on how painting with light works and the variety of it out there, but for this brief, we were to paint an object and light it up with a flash light, LED panel or any alternative light source of our choice.

Problem 1:

The very first problem I encountered with this brief was understanding what is being asked of me. While my lecturers were explaining it in detail and even showing examples of other results of a composite, I failed to truly understand what was being asked of me, I understood that we were painting with light, but I wasn’t entirely understanding why we were to put it into photoshop to bring out the highlights of the images we have. I spoke to Mark about it after one of the Thursday classes and I left the zoom call thinking I knew what to do, and in all fairness, I did have the right idea, I just hadn’t set things up properly. 

I thought we were to photograph each object separately, like we did for Illusion, so I had photographed my objects item by item and planned on putting them into my set up image. It wasn’t until the Tuesday feedback class that Mark went over the images with me and explained it better to me, I then understood what I was to do but I was having a very difficult time putting it together.

Problem 2:

After I had my understanding of the brief, the next problem I encountered was my set up and lighting up certain objects, in particular, I had a porcelain doll wearing white clothing and a dark brown set of clogs, I had difficulty lighting up both objects well as one item was far too dark and required a lot of light painting to light it up to a point you can see the detail in them, and the other was too so bright that with a lot of difficulty, no matter what I was doing, I was creating shadows on it or it was becoming far too exposed and the white in the doll had become so highlighted that it was completely out of place and took away from the doll itself.

I also had the problem of trying to align my images, but when I did this the first time, I realised I had stupidly used different photos from my shoot, photos where I had the same items but they weren’t exactly in the same place enough for the images to align correctly. Either I had nudged the tripod or the camera fell a little and moved out of position or simply me setting things up wrong, the images were different. This led to my first reshoot, I fixed things up and tried to align everything, but as the shoot went on, I began to alter the camera, zooming in or  moving my set up a little, so again, I had the same problem, just not quite as bad. 

Problem 3:

A problem many of my classmates experienced was the scratch disc issue. From what I remember, no one had informed us that this project will use up a lot of space on our computers and on our hard drives or whatever storage device we were using to save our work. I found out the hard way about this: after a Monday class, I had spent the entire day last week working on my project only to discover I couldn’t save it because the scratch disc was full. I’m on a college laptop too so I couldn’t just clear out the build in storage because I’m not an admin, so I had to arrange with my lecturers to get an extension as this problem occurred days before the deadline.

I reshot my images again that night as I realised that again, my images weren’t in line or the same, so I reshot my images and I tried again, but with the scratch disc issue, I couldn’t save my work but I was still trying to understand what exactly I was to do. I was working on very low opacity and flow, so I had to go over things numerous times to get a result, which was infuriating me as it was taking so long to get one tiny result. I admit, I got frustrated and angry, and with the deadline only days away, I was stressing out and panicking. 

My solution:

I took a step back and I thought calmly about things. I had emailed my lecturer about getting an extension, and after showing I really was having technical issues, I was granted that extension. I decided, without letting my lecturers know, that I was completely scrapping the idea I had and doing a brand new shoot. An issue I had was that I had too many items, for me personally, to work with, so I was getting confused and lost 7 seven layers in, so I remembered Mark’s words on pretty much every project I’ve ever done since NQ: “Keep it simple”. Mark is an inspiration to me when it comes to my photography, so I always value his opinions on my work and any advice he has to give, but that advice has been one that has stuck with me since the beginning of NQ photography in 2019. Thanks to that, I was able to take a step back, think about what I wanted to do, and do my reshoot with a strong understanding on what I want out of this shoot.

What I wanted was to capture items that had strong significance to me, items that belonged to my gran, grandad and items relevant to me in my childhood. The items I chose involved a German music box belonging to my gran, a broken dolphin that once belonged to a wind chime and my gran, a broken and old necklace belonging to me, a silver heart that belonged to me also, a small Sonic the hedgehog toy, and a silver locket that was given to me when my grandad passed away a long time ago.

My set up has never changed: I placed my items inside an old suitcase, the suitcase had a faded pink lining that, when light shone on it, gave off a very nice design of light patterns. With the suitcase, I added a blanket that is older than myself, the blanket acted the “floor” of my sett, while the suitcase’s lining was the background itself.

Once I had placed my items, I began my shoot and I focused on keeping my image count low, it helped me to stop myself from going overboard as I have the tendency to leave a shoot, college related or personal, with over one hundred photos as I get carried away and then have to go through them all, one by one. So I restricted myself with my images, to avoid this but also so I wasn’t having more photos for photoshop to struggle with when saving my work. This restriction helped me to have a boundary for myself and once my shoot was done, I waited until Monday’s class, this week, to speak with Iain about how to avoid blurring in my photos when I put them together. He was a big help and made me realise, after so long of stressing about it.......that I can change the opacity and flow to what I want it to be. With one simple relapse, I made myself stress out so much, I had forgotten that I could change the opacity and flow to what suits me, and that night, I put together my image and it was a thousand times easier and I could see results happening and I was able to really think and make choices on where I felt was a good highlight or shadow to add into my final image. 

I spent all of Monday night working on it, I planned on doing it until I began to get tired or fed up with a computer screen, but I was so determined to get this project over with that I powered through. I know it’s not good to overwork yourself, but my project was, despite my extension, three days later by that point and I hated not meeting my deadline. The week long extension gave me the time I needed to think and redo my entire shoot and keep it simple for myself, it gave me the time I needed to really plan out better what I want from the shoot and how to get it. So in that regard, I’m thankful for the extension as I really needed it so I could get a hard drive to save my work and so I could re-plan my shoot and be happy with it.

I was sure that I would need to redo or change my shoot when I was showing it to Mark today, I was being so harsh on myself thanks to stressing on the project since the day we were given the brief that I was convinced it looked terrible and wasn’t right. Hearing Mark confirm that I did a great job and made some good decisions made me realise “Hey, I actually did a good job here, I can see that, I can be proud of this”, I have diagnosed crippling anxiety and Aspergers syndrome, so my anxious thinking tends to really blow things out of proportion and I end up panicking and stressing far too easily, so hearing advice from lecturers about my work really helps me and I value every criticism I get as it’s always constructive and not intended to upset me. I let that zoom call feeling ecstatic because I finally finished my Recycle project and I made something I’m absolutely proud of. It took a lot of pain and suffering, but I pulled through, submitted my project and was finally able to forget about it and move onto Lost and Found.

But, while I had many drawbacks with this project, the Recycle brief really helped me to get a good understanding and relationship with photoshop and how it works. In NQ, we used photoshop for the basic use of editing our photos and learning about layer masks, which completely baffled and upset me because I didn’t understand them despite how much Heather explained it to me. HND has helped me a lot with photoshop and understanding, and with me really diving into research and watching tutorials on how it all works as I go, I picked up what tool does what. I still have no idea what most of the tools do, but I’m familiar with most of them enough now to the point I was able to use the tools on my own without a guide or anyone explaining to me on what to do, I was comfortable enough to change brush sizes, colours, to zoom in and out or to use the tools when I needed them. I had become more comfortable with photoshop when we did the Illusion brief, but Recycle has helped me to really understand and become more comfortable with the software to the point I made my own creations, non-college related, and was able to really see what I was able to create and that, with more learning, I can really make some creative masterpieces in the future.

This project also helped me to really think and plan out what one action will do to my shoot or the objects involved, for example, it helped me to think about the effects my flashlight would have on an object when I’m painting with light long before I do the action. I’m thankful for this brief in the way of helping me learn, but I will not miss it!

Things I would do differently

If given the opportunity, I would do many things differently, in particular, I would speak to my lecturers more for help and ask my questions about being confused, what exactly is being asked of me and how I’m to do it. Instead, I spent weeks stressing, worrying and losing sleep because I couldn’t understand how to do the project or what was asked of me, had I asked more questions when the opportunity was there, I could have saved myself the stress, but now I know it for future reference. 

Another thing I would do differently is my planning, I did plenty of research on this brief for inspiration and tips, but I feel my planning wasn’t great, I had an idea and I tried to shoot it, but then I was thinking of other ways to shoot it and put it into action instead of sketching it up and really giving it some thought. So I would do that differently.

Another thing I’d like to do differently is to have attended more Tuesday advice classes, I was terrified to attend because of my anxiety and I was scared to speak one-on-one with Mark, through zoom, about my ideas and images. When I eventually did attend, I saw that there was nothing to worry about and it really does help me, so much so that now, unless I plan to shoot my location shots, I attend the Tuesday classes for feedback on my work and so I can find out where I went wrong or how to improve my image.

This brief showed me many things, but regarding myself, it showed me how much I stop myself from achieving my full potential, by letting fear and anxieties grip me, I stop myself from doing things I know will look or turn out great, I stop myself from interacting in class sessions or getting some helpful feedback from lecturers and I stop myself from getting the help I need to calm my worrying mind and be gentler on myself.

I learned a lot from this brief and while I am thrilled to have made something I’m so proud of...........I really hope we don’t get another project like it any time soon! 

[shimmerjjang]

First Post of 2021: Restoring my Park Bom “Spring” Song Cover

Wow, hello 2021. The year before you, the year that shall not be named, was full of struggles. But despite spending most of my time at home last year, it still went by so fast.

It’s probably because I tried my very best to keep myself busy. Did so much things to keep me sane, although the occasional mental breakdowns were still there. I kept writing, hopped on a small styling journey, learned/polished my Korean and sang sang sang.  

I have always loved singing, but it’s nothing more than just a hobby. But for some reason, I found myself singing more during quarantine as I felt like it has become an effective medium for me to release stress. I’ve been posting more “covers” on my Instagram, but for my first post for 2021, I’ll go for something from 2NE1′s Park Bom - one of my biggest girl crushes of all time!

Here’s a sample - me singing Park Bom’s “Spring” which she released last 2019. I also took this video (slash “cover”) back in April 2019 after shooting photos for Laneige. I will always be a Blackjack at heart so Bom’s comeback song is pretty huge for me and so I also thought of sporting her signature makeup look for this particular blog post! 

It’s just that I never uploaded it back then (hellooo it’s from 2019 kkkkk~!!) because the audio sucks so much and I sounded really bad.

Also, I suck at videos in general so I feel like my song covers won’t sound good as how I hope them to be. I’m no pro at all and I don’t have the equipment to make my basic song covers sound good nor do I have plans of investing money for them either haha! But thank goodness my brother’s newfound passion project of making music made my very amateur song cover sound better! And so after more than a year, I finally decided to upload it.

I think the audio quality sounded much better than before considering how bad the audio was! I didn’t use a pro mic or any other equipment, but after editing, I felt like I recorded it in a studio lol. I posted the unfixed (raw) video version on my Facebook page here so go check it out to see the difference. Tell me what you think! 

If you’re also someone who wants to make your song covers or music sound better, go send @andrewsymusic a DM on Instagram! He edits and enhances audio/videos and makes music too. He’s also on YouTube if you want to hear some of his original compositions! Go go go!

Tbh, I’ve been really wanting to upload it since I took it in 2019 not because I believed I sang the song well, but because I worked so hard in that Park Bom makeup!!! kk~ I actually think I failed in some parts of the song because it’s just really difficult to sing. Park Bom is the only one who can really sing her songs - no rendition is ever better and that’s a fact!

And since I’m so happy with how my Park Bom makeup turned out, I’m inserting another shameless photo of me! Again, this is from 2019! hahahaha

I might redo this makeup look for my IGTV but I need to buy gray lenses first. hihi~

[darkpoisonouslove]

2020 in Words

After the total exhaustion and lack of motivation of the last few months, I have finally found the strength to review 2020. In terms of writing, that is. Otherwise, we ain’t touching that with a 100-foot pole. But anyway, let’s get to the actual good part of 2020 - the writing.

Word Count:

678, 105 words

And that isn’t actually all. I have started various things that 2021 caught still in progress so there are more words to be added to that number but I’ll count them towards whatever time frame I finish them in (I do not even dare assume that all of them will be finished this year).

A little over 1/7th of that word count was accomplished only in March when I wrote over 100k words. Wow, productivity where did you go? I know that the world is going to hell but do you mind coming back? I can use you. I have so many new ideas that I am really excited about but totally lack the energy to actually get to. Hope that will change in the next weeks because there is A Lot going on in my head that I am actually dying to share.

Fandoms:

Winx Club has totally taken over for me. I have barely written five works this year that are not about that show and I just don’t know what is happening anymore. I have so many thoughts and things to discuss and fix about it and I have a feeling that some upcoming events will only reinforce that position. But what truly matters is that it has truly made 2020 more bearable to be in the fandom and write fic. The interactions with other fans have been lovely which is totally worth the brain damage that some experiences over this show have inflicted.

Once Upon a Time lurked until about the half of the year but I can’t say that I have been actively interested in it. I just rewatched 4A for the Frozen Swan interactions and 4B for Cruella De Vil and that was pretty much all of it this year. I think it’s safe to say that at this point I have more or less moved on from the show and I do not expect a miraculous comeback to it. Which leaves my rewatch dangling over the chasm of uncertainty but I have projects I am far more interested in rn to be thinking about that.

I actually joined the Lucifer fandom this year, though I cannot say that I am active in it at all. It was nice to challenge myself with the small contribution I made to the fanworks in the fandom so I am putting it here because I am not done with watching the show even though I don’t think I have a good enough grasp on any of the characters in order to actually write them.

Ships:

Well, 2020 definitely delivered on that front. I have found myself piles of new ships to ship the hell out. Some I am more grateful about, others leave me slightly bitter over not knowing what to do with them but it certainly hasn’t been boring. Because this is my wrap-up and contemplation, I get to list them and maybe say a couple of words about some of them.

Griffin x Valtor - Not new but it was definitely the biggest part of that year.

Griffin x Valtor x Faragonda - New in the sense of me having written a fic about this now... and having several more ideas on my drives so... beware, future!

Griffin x Faragonda - Also not new but when the feelings catch up with me, they really mean it. Two major bursts of inspiration about them have left me with interesting results and I am looking forward to finding out where this goes.

Marion x Oritel - That was new. It was the first new ship of the year. I have more ideas about them but the muse has not visited lately. I am not giving up, though. Sometimes you gotta sail the ship even when there’s no wind.

Flora x Icy - That was definitely a surprise. I don’t know what happened but I do know that a goddamn look at Pinterest has brought on an entire epic about them (and the other Trix and Winx) so... thanks for that, Pinterest. I wish you could pin free time on Pinterest and go consume it later so that I would actually have the time to work on all of this.

Layla x Stella - Oh, yeah, baby! I have feelings and I really want to do at least an outline of what would be too long to actually write as a fic, especially since I have A Lot on my plate rn.

Griffin x Griselda - Well, that... happened. I have no idea where any of this is going, only that it is a major part of Griffin’s arc in my most major series so... I guess it’s headed somewhere. Just have to stay along for the ride.

Zarathustra x Griselda - So totally trashcankitty12′s fault... But I guess I am the one responsible for actually including it in already ongoing stories.

Ediltrude x DuFour - Okay, that one I totally roped myself into. Do I regret it? ... Maybe a little because it may need to remain just background thanks to everything else that I have going on.

Griffin x Marion - Almost forgot that which is a damn shame because it is one of my absolute most favorite ships.

Griffin x Valtor x Marion - Not gonna lie, this has been sneaking into some stray ideas too repetitively to be an accident. Will it ever exist outside of my head, though?

Samara x Erendor - I just wanted to make them more likable to me because they were my least favorite characters on the show. Worked too well and now I am in fic hell.

Bloom x Sky - I got ONE idea, okay? Too bad that I love it too much for my own good, especially considering that it is sort of a rewrite of the series. Like I didn’t have enough of those already.

There are more, actually, but we will be here all day if I have to list every stray idea that I have entertained so let’s just move on.

Stories:

Winx Club - 80 (4 unfinished and 3 that I have been dragging with me since 2019 for a total of 7/111 incomplete.)

OUAT - 3 (all finished but I have two collections that are still open from 2019 and 2018 respectively)

Lucifer - 1 (it was a one-shot but I am glad that I managed to write it at all)

Original works - 1 (poem that I came up with at 4am)

That makes a total of 85 written works this year which is honestly astounding! My brain has been harping on me about not being productive since June but I have actually gotten quite a lot of work done! (Fun fact - my total for 2019 was 58 stories, and for 2020 it is 85 XD. We’re gonna need some new numbers in 2021.)

First fic of the year - Gold and Purple (Griffin x Valtor AU inspired by a Bulgarian folk tale)

Last fic of the year - New Warmth to Weave in Your Garden of Shine (Samara x Erendor + New Year traditions and worldbuilding on Eraklyon)

Favorite writing moment - that has got to be coming up with a wild idea for my season  rewrite that I will not be spoiling now. It was also inspired by Bulgarian folklore and I am so excited to reveal it (because it is so fucking grand) but we will all have to be patient.\

Wildest writing experience - definitely the entirety of chapter 4 from A Home You Never Knew How to Have. Man, that was... a goddamn ride. In every sense of the word. I still haven’t reread that bitch after posting it even though I have opened it probably a hundred times.

I launched several series this year that will need a lot of work to be brought to completion. Naturally, my focus is not on finishing those but on starting new things. Because of course it is. So here’s a heads-up for another post that will be coming shortly with announcements of my ideas. I would like to call it a plan for 2021 but I fear that will be too presumptuous of me so I will say that it is my hope that those are things that are to be released this year but I will only lapel them as projects that I am looking forward to rather than “upcoming”.

Other Works:

This year actually bore a couple other forms of art so I am going to list my creations in other mediums below because they deserve the attention.

Aesthetics:

Icy

Darcy

Stormy

Marion

Ediltrude & Zarathustra

Siren AU:

Griffin

Ediltrude

Zarathustra

Icy

Darcy

Stormy

Magic-Swapped Transformations:

Griffin Winx

Ediltrude Winx

Zarathustra Winx

Griffin Chamrix

Ediltrude Chamrix

Zarathustra Chamrix

Griffin Enchantix

Ediltrude Enchantix

Zarathustra Enchantix

Videos:

Griffin/Valtor - The Devil I Know

Winx - Trouble

Marion x Oritel/Griffin x Valtor/Faragonda x Hagen - Savage

Bloom/Mitzi - Wicked

Samara - You Should See Me in a Crown

Bloom/Sky - Kerosene

Winx Rewatch:

I actually rewatched all 8 seasons of the show + the 3 movies and I have written out my thoughts on all of them. You can find them here:

Winx Club Season 1 4kids (Stream of Consciousness) (I am actually considering redoing this one because it wasn’t in-depth like the others are)

Winx Club Season 2 4kids Part 1 (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club Season 2 4kids Part 2 (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club Season 3 4kids Part 1 (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club Season 3 4kids Part 2 (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club: The Secret of the Lost Kingdom (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club Season 4 Part 1 (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club Season 4 Part 2 (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club: Magical Adventure (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club Season 5 Part 1 (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club Season 5 Part 2 (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club: Mystery of the Abyss (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club Season 6 Part 1 (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club Season 6 Part 2 (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club Season 7 Part 1 (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club Season 7 Part 2 (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club Season 8 Part 1 (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club Season 8 Part 2 (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club Special 1: Destiny of Bloom (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club Special 2: Revenge of the Trix (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club Special 3: The Battle for Magix (Stream of Consciousness)

Winx Club Special 4: The Shadow Phoenix (Stream of Consciousness)

I will not be writing any takeaways because I already talked about some of those in an ask and my brain is too fired at the moment to pull off some actual analysis and compose a proper conclusion. To be perfectly honest, I prefer not to think too much on 2020. It brought a lot of good things along with the bad but I still prefer not to look back on it if it isn’t necessary. I think it received enough of my energy already.