#like i guess credit to them for being honest but also why are you wasting my time talking about something you read last night.

[queenlua]

i’m sort of convinced that the absolutely best essayists produce new work only erratically.  it is very hard to do all the work of observing/engaging with stuff, then Thinking Real Hard, and then writing some actually-worth-reading piece, on anything like a weekly schedule.  sometimes a person spends years of their life thinking about something and only writes one thing about it.  but it doesn’t matter because that one thing was worth it, exactly what needed to be said

however, alas, the demands of (legacy) publishing and (newer) algorithms disproportionately favor Dudes Who Can Churn Shit Out On Schedule

which is why the most Aggressively Mid Writer of the 00′s Game Writing Scene, Ian Bogost, is writing for the fucking Atlantic nowadays, whereas all the actually interesting, provocative, strange, and generally-worth-reading writers from that era are like. their stuff’s languishing on some mothballed archive on their personal site.  or on a defunct blog.  someplace where people slowly forget about it even though their stuff was always way more daring and novel and just plain interesting than the polished bullshit that builds a career

grumble grumble

[the-marshals-wife]

Restless (Raylan Givens x Reader)

─ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ─ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─

A/N: More than a little inspired by the Lady A song "Need You Now", here's an impromptu Raylan fic because this gif also inspired me and it's past time I wrote something for my marshal man. ✪

Description: Raylan Givens x Fem!Reader, moody fluff | Warnings: kissing, guns and alcohol mentioned | Setting: before Primeval | Word count: 1,064 | Gif credit: user vincenzides

Imagine being unable to sleep and finding Raylan on your porch keeping watch

It was another sleepless night for you. There seemed to be million things to worry about lately, and not enough daylight hours to do it in. You'd spent the last two staring up at the ceiling before giving up hope for a restful night. You rub at your eyes as you make your way down the stairs, each creaking step ringing throughout the old farmhouse. If you were being honest, the house being paid off was the only thing not making you lose sleep.

You'd gone the route of warm milk and hot tea before, but you found the only thing that truly helped in times like these was curling up in your grandfather's rocking chair. Even just a few minutes there never failed to soothe your troubled mind and bring back the peace of simpler days.

You flip the lock on front door, pull it open as it squalls on the hinges, and switch on the flickering porch light.

"Still need to change that," you remind yourself, adding to your already exhaustive mental list.

With it well past midnight, it was almost unsettling how still and silent it was outside. You push open the screen door and step onto the weathered porch boards in your slippers. In the summer months, at least you had the comfort of the crickets chirping. But on a damp spring night like tonight, the abundant life of the hollows had yet to sing its song.

Having just crawled out of your warm bed, the cool air hits your face and sends chills right through you. You cross your arms and shuffle towards the end of the porch.

You freeze in place, however, when you see a dark silhouette sitting motionless in the rocker. Fight or flight already kicking in, you're counting the steps backward to the shotgun just inside the door when the shadowy figure speaks.

"Don't shoot me," calls a familiar voice.

"Raylan Givens, you just about gave me a heart attack," you exhale as you clutch your chest.

"We wouldn't want that," he replies, peering up in the dim light, "I'm sorry, Y/N. I didn't mean to scare you."

As your heart starts beating again, you begin to find your words. You pull your robe tighter around yourself and tentatively approach him. "What are you doing here?"

"I couldn't sleep," he says, as if that were an explanation.

"Well I can see that. But what are you doing on my porch?"

He leans back in the rocker and turns his head towards the pitch black yard. "Had a feeling."

"Bad?" you question, watching him survey the darkness.

"Yeah."

You sigh. That's the way it was with Raylan. The quickest draw in the county with a witty comeback or sarcastic comment, but never one to waste words on the hard days.

"Guessing you don't want to talk about it," you venture, sitting down in the wicker chair beside him.

"Not really," he answers.

You nod, frowning. "Can I at least get you a drink?"

"No, thank you. Had plenty already," he says, finally looking over at you, "I just wanted to make sure you were alright."

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know," he sighs, taking off his hat and running a hand through his hair.

"Raylan, should I be worried here? Is something coming? Do I need to put on my 'shooting shoes'?" you laugh a bit, hoping to ease the tension.

"No, it's not like that," he chuckles, leaning forward on his knees and staring down at his boots, "I'm sorry, I don't know what I'm doing here. There's nothing wrong. Just the whiskey talking, I guess."

You scoff. "You're many things, Raylan Givens, and a good liar is not one of them."

He glances up at you and smirks.

"Why are you really on this porch tonight?" you ask.

He leans back again, eyes fixed on the hat still in his hands. "This job gets you a lot of enemies. That I wouldn't mind so much, except it never ends with me. People I care about tend to get caught in the crossfire."

He turns to you, and even in the dark, you see in his eyes a vulnerability you'd scarcely seen before.

"I can live with a lot of things, but I won't live with you getting hurt. Least of all because of me. I'm not gonna let that happen."

You pause as you realize that not only was Raylan being honest about his feelings, but that he has them for you. You half-expected a hallelujah chorus to follow, but there was only the peaceful quiet of the evening. Maybe you were asleep, you wonder, for surely this was a dream.

"There's only one thing for it then," you begin, standing up.

You take the hat from his hands and place it in the chair you'd just left. Before he can protest, you sit down on his lap, and he stares at you completely stunned. Tucking your legs up, you lay your head on his shoulder and rest your hand on his chest.

"You'll just have to stay here," you declare softly.

Hesitating only a moment, he wraps his arms around you and pulls you closer.

"Guess I'll have to," he replies.

Several moments of him holding you in comforting silence go by before he speaks again, and you can hear him smile as he does.

"I should warn you, though. I've been told, by just a few people mind you, that I can be a pain in the ass."

You sit up, snickering, "Tell me something I don't know."

His gaze softens, weighing your challenging words.

"Alright, how about this. If I stay, I don't have plans to leave."

Just when you thought he couldn't surprise you any more, he goes and says a thing like that, looking at you the way he is.

"That's good. Because I don't have plans to let ya," you smirk.

You let your words and worries fall to the wayside as you lean in and kiss him. His hand slides up your neck and into your hair as he kisses you back hard, tasting like whiskey and longing. Many heartbeats of intoxicating embrace pass before you both remember to breathe.

He grins at you and chuckles.

"You're never getting rid of me now."

[defaultnaming]

WARNING: COULD BE CONSIDERED CRITICAL OR ANTI. DO NOT READ IF YOU DON'T LIKE DW CRITIQUE

First thoughts:

I'll be honest, I went into the episode a bit biased, 10 is nowhere close to a good doctor for me and I dislike the RTD era. But open minds and all that.

I DON'T like the mcu logo. MCUification of DW on main.

I need an in-depth explaination on what regeneration energy does after that ep. Like, how does it make a suit and long coat, ties, a new sonic screwdriver, perfectly fitting glasses and a judges wig (he didn't know he would need it so he would have to have it on him so... how??)

Okay, why the big exposition cold open if you're going to exposit the info in conversation, feels a bit like you wasted time there I'll be honest. Could've went to solving the ep problem cause that was rushed.

The old doctor is back.... and apparently has a personality like at least a couple thousand years haven't passed... okay....

The part about 'Why does everything have to be a big goodbye?' I mean, it seemed really wierd that he would refuse coming for a cuppa because he CAN do that. We've seen it over 15 years, the doctor has developed to do that stuff. Also, bar a few phrases, didn't really see much of 13's personality there and it's shame. DT is a good actor, he could pull it off (I mean, he also could've pulled off the outfit but....), you didn't need to do 10 on repeat .

I like rose! But is she 15 cause.... no? Also, how to tell your trans character is written by cis people: 'DiD YOu jUsT AssUMe tHEIr ProNOUnS!?'

Love the starting her business, didn't like that they made Donna a mum who doesn't respect boundaries but still the support and the plushies were cute and I guess being nosy is in character for her.

Meep was cute! Feel like the meep was suitably menacing and it was peak cheese. Also, Miriam Margoles was perfect for the voice. I also love the bit where the meep was clinging to Donna, brilliant. Also, tactically landing in a steel mill and not being really contrived was good! I also loved that 'living sun' hypnosis, it made sense to me. I also loved the cheesy bug things, they we cute as well and I love that they took the time to explain why the cab never got hit properly cause I was wondering.

Also, Sylvia wanting to KO the doctor on site to keep him from seeing Donna... accurate, funny and I wanted her to do it I'll be honest. Saun temple, absolute king, just drinking respsct wife juice. Like, if my partner gave away that much money I'd divource but he's just better than me.

I love UNIT as this alien first responder force, that was neat. I love that they were inclusive to disabilities and the characters were still suitably badass.

I love the (albiet clumsy) trans positivity in the episode. But let's not give them too much credit, the doctor has been trans and trans positive (with timelords mind) since about 2014.

Didn't like the implication that transmascs are inherently more dim/stupid than transfemmes. Also, that is literally what they said because the text was literally 'if you were female (still a woman) presenting, you'd understand'. I won't lie, as a transmasc person, it kind of hurt. I feel like we should be past the feminism that drags men instead of uplifting women but yeah.

I feel like they undercut the tradgedy of Donna's sacrifice by having her just... be alive. I get she... shared?... the metacrisis but it kind of ruins why Donna was such a tragic figure in DW. Also, gee DoctorDonna, why didn't you just think 'get rid of it' before? Could've saved a lot of trouble. The cracks through London just kind of disappearing when the ship was stopped was wierd but I get it, they need to move onto other things and that would be too big of a distraction.

Also, they're going to visit Wilf yay! Why did the TARDIS redecorate? Why did you then give a workable reason why she would need to reconfigure immediately afterward? I love the design, very retro but again, felt a bit contrived.

All in all, a cheesy, old nu!who episode vibes (I clarify, not my thing) that has some great building blocks and despite the problems, I am looking forward to new episodes to come!

[capitano-marina]

As usual, now that the season is over/as all good traditions hardly come to an end, here's my thoughts/post (call it however you want) about this season

1. Maya DeLuca Bishop

Oh Maya my sweet Maya I absolutely loved the character growth she went through this season, as much as it pained me to see all the negative things said about her and the zero empathy at times to what she was going through. Her demotion was not fair and will always not be fair and i get the need to make other characters look great but it was to the point of being annoying. Her apology to Ross felt wrong (i get that she needed to apologise for the blackmail) but chief Ross clearly hates her even Maya knows this and she drove her to her breaking point with Beckett treating her bad, that’s some very twisted way for revenge, and the way absolutely no one even apologised for the way they treated Maya for months or even someone tried to stop it but instead we got people making fun of her and not welcome her back the proper way!

One thing is for sure and will always be Maya will always choose her wife and will always have heart eyes for her.

2. Carina DeLuca Bishop

The sad reality that we all should accept by now that Carina in this show will be Maya’s wife and nothing more yeah she will have her moments with Vic, Ben and the rest but it will always be For Maya’s storyline, I guess this what makes it hard for fans with certain lines being said you feel the need to pick a side when both sides feelings and emotions are valid but when only one side shown on TV it becomes a war between fans that only love/respect/understand (call it whatever you want) one half of the ship.

Glad Carina now knows she is Maya’s number one priority 🥹 and yes she will also always have heart eyes for her wife.

3. Marina my beloved

I am no fan of angst and will never be specially knowing the shows won’t give as much as i want, yes we had good moments between the bathroom scene, shower scene and all in between the sweet and not so sweet moments it was still missing lots of things, my favourite TV wives don’t get as much as they deserve and i am learning to accept that (not really). At this point i am just glad they are back together because I really didn’t see us getting them back maybe that was just the effect of the drama/angst.

4. The rest

Vic needs to leave Theo, the mayor storyline wasted so much time and no one really asked for it or even enjoyed it, couldn’t care less about this captain storyline that’s been going on since the show started, one character is gonna take it and we all know it will always end like that so why drag it out so much when none of us care! (Captain Maya Bishop forever tho), don’t even get me started on Ross double standards.

I know fans want more action and calls to be added like other wee woo shows but I honestly don’t want it, i like the “family” vibe that is going on here because more action less focus on the personal stories that are imo more important than a good call.

5. Episode 18

That was way better than expected tbh. Hot,sexy and the most beautiful wives there is, find it hard to believe that Carina doesn’t have a dress, but they looked amazing so not complaining, them talking about plans for the baby is what i needed to hear, that baby they delivered might be adopted or maybe not I still want Carina to get pregnant because that’s what she wants so s19 please at least give her that!. Captain Andy about damn time now we can move on 🤞🏻, Glad to not be part of any cliffhangers my heart can’t handle it at all.

6. D&S

I am forever in awe for their talent and love to this ship without them so many little moments would go unnoticed because let’s be honest here they don’t give them as much as they deserve storyline wise for whatever reason there is. We as fans notice and want things to the point of being delusional (we all been there) and we give the show more credit than they give to the TV wives (no disrespect to anyone) so yeah it hurts when fandom theories are really good and make sense but you don’t see it on screen.

Thanks Danielle and Stefania for being the captains of the ship and adding your little touches here and there you will always shine even in the background.

Until next season ❤️

[fostersffff]

The Big Gundam Watch, Part 9.2: Mobile Suit Gundam Wing, Episodes 27-49

Well, it took a while, but I finally finished watching Mobile Suit Gundam Wing.

I gotta be honest, guys: this was frustrating. The point I made in the first part of this where I talked about how Gundam Wing is at its weakest when aping aspects of Universal Century Gundam comes back in full force here. What got me particularly sour is that the show actually did start to rally by heading in a direction I didn't expect, rife with potential, before hard-stopping and saying "alright fellas, last batch of episodes, we gotta do Char's Counterattack now". But then, peppered throughout "we're doing Char's Counterattack again" is some really good stuff that just doesn't get the chance to soak in.

Let's get into it:

THE STUFF I LIKED:

Dorothy Catalonia is the most consistently great part of Gundam Wing's second half. At first, it's because she was the most straight-forward character in the series- she is Based and Warpilled- and seeing her be comically unsubtle about her love of and desire for war was pretty funny. She then begins to occupy the position of "villain who gets underestimated because they're so transparently villainous they seem incapable of subtlety", which leads to some shockingly simple but effective maneuvering to get exactly what she wants, including the death of her grandfather. But ultimately, when they decided they should pair her off with Quatre, her hawkishness is sensibly re-contextualized and made deeply sympathetic, in a way that the series doesn't really achieve with Milliardo and definitely doesn't with Treize, who have the exact same motivations as her.

Speaking of Dorothy, the way Relena's commitment to Total Pacifism didn't play out the way I thought it would was an extremely pleasant surprise. The whole time I was anticipating a corruption-style arc, where Dorothy acts as the devil on Relena's shoulder, urging her into taking violent action in the name of peace... but she doesn't. From the time she takes over the Sanc Kingdom through to the end of the series, she is 100% committed to the ideal of Total Pacifism, no matter how much of a disadvantage it puts her at.

I guess maybe that's why Relena was so hated when the show first aired in the West? But I thought her absolute commitment to such a childish ideal was actually the most endearing thing in the series. It's naive in the exact way that the character is portrayed as naive from the very start, but she takes every opportunity to show her commitment to it in bold, bombastic ways. My personal favorite was "my brother is Milliardo Peacecraft, I have no idea who this Zechs Merquise loser is, so kill him if you feel compelled to, it's got nothing to do with me"

In general, the whole Sanc Kingdom arc was the show at its smartest, because the conflict between Relena/the Sanc Kingdom and the Romefeller Foundation under Duke Dermail was simple at its core, which meant they could do more interesting things with it. "Invading force proclaiming to the world that they are saviors and liberators protecting the locals from hostile elements when their real goal is to destabilize the region" is effective as hell!

Tremendous credit to the series for being also smart enough to highlight that Dorothy/Milliardo/Treize's goal of "have a war so horrifying it scares mankind out of having any more wars" was even more naive than Relena's Total Pacifism because it was completely and utterly ruined by Lady Une's surrender.

I wrote in my notes "if Milliardo just flat-out refuses Treize's duel and fires the Libra canon at him I'm giving this series a +2 buff no matter what else happens", so I have to mention that's exactly what happens here. Except, I reduced it to a +1 buff for a reason we'll get into later.

There's a handful of really tight, exciting action sequences that do specific things to elevate them over "Gundam pilots lay waste to an entire army of dolls". The one that I loved the most was in Episode 39, when Quatre realizes that he won't be able to make it to Trowa in time to protect him because the Sandrock isn't properly kitted for space, so instead of trying to use his verniers he takes advantage of the nearby exploding shuttle to launch himself. That's a fucking BALLER maneuver, and actually adds more credence to the "Quatre is the brains of the team and a good strategist" thing the show starts to lean on towards the end.

Despite just saying "Gundam pilots lay waste to an entire army of dolls" in a negative context, the aforementioned scene immediately being followed by Trowa and Quatre bump into Duo, who decloaks Deathscythe Hell and starts tearing up the battlefield as Rhythm Emotion starts playing was also Fucking Unbelievably Cool

On the same subject: using Rhythm Emotion as an insert song a couple of times but waiting until episode 41 out of 49 to introduce it as the new OP was very bold, but the correct decision.

Ending the series with Relena tearing the birthday card Heero left for her is just raw, unfiltered kinography. Maybe the single smartest decision in this entire series. I was hootin' and hollerin'.

THE STUFF I LIKED LESS:

The last nine episodes are just Char's Counterattack. Any time I tried to give it leeway and thought they were gonna do something interesting or different, it slapped me in the face, first with Milliardo delivering a speech in a Sweetwater-style colony (when literally every colony shown in After Colony is a Halo-style ring), then ultimately resolving to drop a space fortress on Earth to usher in an ice age, and then even doing the "We stopped the drop!... Oh no, a piece split off and is still heading to Earth!" part. This was hack shit, and kind of made me hate Milliardo because the interesting thing about him was the idea of taking the Char archetype in a different direction, not just writing Char doing all the things Char did, again.

I made a post just the other day about what turned out to be the setup for pairing off of Quatre and Dorothy, which I mentioned right at the top here was one of my favorite aspects of the series. Someone corrected me that they did actually 'meet'- Dorothy was in the room when Quatre and Heero introduced themselves as students, and presumably Quatre was in the room when Dorothy introduced herself to Heero- but looking that up reminded me that really should've been Quatre she was dueling. As it is, it's almost the same problem I've talked about with The Rose of Versailles, where you have a REALLY STRONG arc built on a foundation of nothing.

While I thought the reveal of the true nature of Dorothy's "love" of war was pretty well executed, the same cannot be said last second reveal that the Gundam Scientists sabotaged Operation Meteor somehow and that the original mastermind was Quinze. It's a good concept, and would actually explain a lot of why Operation Meteor was so disjointed, but like the character himself, there was literally no time to develop this.

When it comes to suspension of disbelief, I usually let things pass unmentioned, as long as they don't disrupt me in the moment. That's why I wrote that post about Quatre and Dorothy; at the exact moment it happened I went "THAT'S RAD... wait, what?" Even worse than that, though, was Lady Une waking up from her coma, escaping the hospital, hijacking the Wing Gundam and somehow making it from Earth to Libra fast enough to knock Trieze out of the firing path AND not dying herself. It wasn't even cool because...

I hate Treize. I already talked about how much I hated Treize in the first part, and it only got worse here. And it's not "oh man, what a good villain" hate, it's just... he sucks. Everything he says and does is so incongruous and lame, and not in a way that reads to me as intentional. It's insane that he survived until basically the last minute, but the silver lining is that led to Lady Une surrendering on behalf of the World Nation and completely fucking up Dorothy, Milliardo, and even Treize's plans.

No need to go over my dislike of the Gundams in the series again, but man does Epyon suck. Fuckin' boneless Master Gundam is what it is, and transparently just given to Zechs so he would have a red mobile suit to use in the final conflict (because he's Char, ya see). It sucks even more because they did make a Tallgeese II, and it actually bridges the gap between native After Colony mobile suit design and Gundams like I was bitching about, but they gave it to Treize!

So much of Gundam Wing can be boiled down to "poor planning and not enough time". It was regrettable in 0079 that they ran out of time because they got cancelled, and unfortunate for ZZ that Char's Counterattack went into development and they had to scramble to put together a story that somehow fit- or at least didn't clash- with that, but this? There doesn't really seem to be any good excuse. I still don't know most of these characters' backstories or motivations, and some stuff that's implied in context but is never meaningfully addressed, like the fact that Dorothy and Treize are related.

Another overall problem I have with Wing is that it talks about war as part of the innate human desire for conflict, when those are two very different things. Even near the end, Milliardo talks about how the colonies gave in to their desire for conflict, and like... no they didn't! They were manipulated by an external, fascistic power (Romefeller) into fearing The Other (non-Romefeller-aligned powers on Earth) and started developing weapons for the fascistic power, and then those weapons were hijacked by an extremist sect (White Fang). No part of that is the colonies, as a united entity, going "we crave violence". In fact, mankind's susceptibility to fear and the manipulation that comes with it could so easily be worked into other theme that Wing likes to bring up- that mankind is weak- but that's more about literal, actual weakness. It's just so bad at trying to make its points.

OTHER OBSERVATIONS:

Once again we get some haute couture with Noin's non-uniform outfit of choice being a fuckin' cowboy fringe vest. Just amazing that when this woman isn't in fatigues or a dress uniform, she's ready to go to the rodeo.

Watching this dub has forced me to confront the possibility that maybe G Gundam also had a not-great dub, and I just love it because that's the one I saw when I was a kid. But to be honest, this dub would be perfectly fine if not for the fact that they had like six actors total, and major character's voices would be coming out of Random Soldier #3 one scene later.

There's a line in the final episode where Duo's like "we're gonna celebrate with some champagne when we get back!" and Quatre goes "just as long as it's non-alcholic". I was 1000% sure that was a dub thing, so imagine my surprise when I checked the subs and nope; Quatre is a good little boy in Japanese, too. Totally in character, but that's such a staple of 90's localization.

It's incredibly funny to me that the Wufei is responsible for both kicking off the Char's Counterattack portion of Gundam Wing by effectively staging a false flag attack for Milliardo because he's having a Category 5 Muh Justice moment, and then also completely ruins Milliardo's plans by actually killing Treize. Both because it's funny to be responsible for both parts of that, and also because, again, he's the one who pointed out to all the other boys that they got finessed into killing the Alliance brass.

Speaking of which, what the fuck was up with Wufei's cult of suicidal ascetic monks? Were they the only people onboard that colony? Did they murder millions of innocents for Wufei's (what can charitably be referred to as) "chararacter development"?

Duo calling himself "the God of Death" really takes on the energy of someone trying to force a nickname on themselves, especially the way that absolutely no one else ever acknowledges it. It gets even more laughable when he refers to the Gundam scientists as "the Gods of Plague". You don't have a Four Horsemen thing going on, dude!

Heero Yuy should never ever be portrayed with eyes this soft ever. Deeply unsettling.

IN CONCLUSION:

"Frustrating" is definitely the word for Gundam Wing, as far as I'm concerned. For a little bit there, I was comparing it to Angel Links, and re-reading that post, I think a lot of what I said about it also applies here. The difference is that when Wing tries to swings big more often, and in doing so, it will occasionally succeed. The trade off, then, is that the hackish lifting of entire Universal Century storylines with worse execution looks even worse. I don't think I would ever really recommend it to anyone- you're better off checking out literally any of the Universal Century Gundam stories- but if someone were hellbent on it, I don't think I'd go out of my way to ward them off, either.

But wait, I shouldn't be doing an "In Conclusion" section, because I'm not done yet!

Next up: the conclusion to the Gundam Wing experience, Mobile Suit Gundam Wing: Endless Waltz! My impression, based on what I've heard, is that even people who are out-and-out Wing haters think Endless Waltz is alright, so I'm holding out hope that this will be all of the stuff I liked about Wing and none of what I didn't.

Considering this one's a movie, and only 90 minutes at that, I don't think it'll take quite as long as my previous two Gundam Wing write-ups.

At least I fucking hope not.

[jxandrexng]

Getting Older Is Starting To Feel The Same Every Year

I just turned 27 two weeks ago and it hasn't really felt fulfilling nor happy at all. I turned 27 being under a huge amount of credit card debt; A job that barely covers my expenses for the time being; And a constant unwillingness to show up at work. Like who knew being an adult would be this difficult, right? Don't get me wrong, I still think I have one of the coolest jobs I could ever ask for, but holy fucking shit this is so much more demanding that what I was used to.

Apart from that, I haven't really had that much time to have ACTUAL conversations with a lot of my friends outside of the bar scene. I kind of feel like I'm starting to lose touch with people. I love hanging out with them, still. It makes me feel less... alone, I guess.

One other thing probably is I'm putting it on the back burner how my mother is going to be here in Hong Kong again on Saturday. Could probably be also the reason why I'm constantly in an irritable mood out of fight-or-flight response. I'm trying to be as in denial about how I truly feel about it as possible but if I'm going to be brutally honest, I fucking hate having her here.

It's really endless: The constant bickering with dad. The never-ending complaints that I get about dad on a daily. How I should hang out with her more when she's here.

I fucking hate all of it. I hate spending time with my mother. At this point everything just feels fucking forced and every time she comes to Hong Kong it's really all just a cycle of this again.

If only I could tell it to her face "Hey mom, you had 21 years to be a fucking parent to me and you wasted all that time to literally just think about yourself and your needs, and look how fucked in the head I am now because of it." but of course I would never say that. As a matter of fact, I wouldn't say anything more. If I had the opportunity to never speak to my mother EVER AGAIN, I would take it. God I just fucking hate being around my parents in the same room and I can't believe I'm 27 and I have to go through this.

It's fucking embarrassing, even. Everyone I know who is at this age has either moved out of their parents' houses to buy their own, or is renting their own place. I'm so jealous of all of them. I keep on saying how I have my life planned out but to be fucking honest I have no fucking idea what the fuck I'm doing. Probably the realest reason why the quote from Everything, Everywhere, All At Once resonates so much with me

"The truth. Nothing... matters. If nothing matters, then, all that pain and guilt you feel of having made nothing of your life... goes away."

I have never related to a quote so much such as that and it keeps on replaying in my head every now and then. I feel like I'm stuck in a loop and it's driving me insane.

[thequietmanno1]

TheLreads, Vigilantes ch 97, Replies Part 1

1) “Now it is time to return to our headache, it’s a vigilantes chapter! We’re about to the see the humiliation of tensei (I fucking love tensei) by the hands of Koichi. Let us see how many seconds this high-speed chase will take, on Chapter 97: Pursuers”- About 10, if we’re not counting the failed talk-down attempt Tensei made which took longer than the actual pursuit.

2) “And look at that, it’s the emissary of hell himself. Alright Koichi, you don’t even know what’s coming your way, but trust me, you’re not gonna like it”- Not even just dealing with the usually-competent Tensei, it seems Koichi’s also gotta deal with most of the top pros out hunting him, hamstrung as they may be by Furuhashi’s writing.

3) “Ok… This is not the neighborhood, because everyone in there knows Koichi vigilante name, but this imply that he’s well-known enough outside of Naruhata? Right. I hope I’m merely misinterpretating this.”- Koichi’s fame appears to have been spreading by his more visible acts of do-gooding, but that’s also the same reason he’s being chased right now, having gained a rep for both good and bad reasons. I guess we could have seen more of this in prior chapters if the series had lasted longer.

4) “Dammit Koichi, pay attention, we don’t want to add vehicular manslaughter to your criminal record.”- ….does Koichi himself now count as a high-speed vehicle when he’s in motion? Like, he could always compete with them, but would a collision still be filed under “bodily harm” if he ran over somebody?

5) “THERE IS OUR MAN, THE LEGEND, THE ENGINE

TENSEI

AND HE’S ALREADY BEING A NARC TELLING KOICHI TO SLOW DOWN, BASTARD WANTS TO GIVE HIM A TICKET”- Koichi’s casually broken more speeding laws than hero laws, and now it’s all catching up to him….literally.

6) “Now Tensei, although I fucking love you, I have a feeling that Koichi does not feel the same to trust you. You know, it’s not like there was almost three years of story to show you two being friends and bonding while jogging to justify this

but then again, nothing important happened on that timeskip”- I’m starting to feel like the words “three-year timeskip” will become your version of the “Bat credit Card” skit whenever somebody brings it up….so I hope your sister continues to mention it at every opportunity

7) “And Koichi of course doesn’t trust him, because being honest, why should him? From what we know they met like, twice, this has all the emotional impact of two acquaintances by name meeting after three years.”- I appreciate Koichi having the brains to not immediately turn himself in to the official heroes, but still not casting off his goodwill with them by continuing to flee, instead taking on a third choice of using the truck to maintain his escape velocity whilst also letting him have a conversation with Tensei and letting him argue his case. Even if it was a doomed attempt, Koichi isn’t as Pro-vigilante as Soga, Knuckles and the others (ironically) and does want to believe in and trust the official heroes. It’s just that this time, the stakes are too high and personal for him to take that chance, so however reluctantly, he’s gotta break the law to keep their illegal operation running until Pop’s safety is secured. 8) “Don’t even waste saliva Tensei, he won’t stop, the fact you allowed him to roam free for those last three years don’t necessarily mean much much considering that every single hero in town also never batted an eye to him, even though he technically is famous.”-  Everybody being willing to let Koichi “play hero” does make them mighty hypocritical now the situation’s turned dire enough they need to step in and preform actual hero work in his stead. In that respect, Fires Georg actually kept the correct attitude up towards Koichi the entire time. 9) “Can you, Tensei? Can you really? Because I wonder for how long you would be able to.

Here’s the thing, why don’t you prove you’re capable of by catching Koichi first? If you can’t catch a single measly Vigilante, what shot you have of protecting Pop from a villain?”-  Koichi’s rise in competency against (furuhashi-nerfed) heroes does unfortunately highlight Soga’s point about how their group is needed on this operation, because if the heroes aren’t capable of stopping Koichi, then Nomura will easily penetrate their defences – and the fact that there’s multiple heroes in play hero only increases his chances, because we’ve seen how expertly he infiltrated that big hero operation against Bee Pop.

10) “Yeah see, this was a good reason for not trusting the cops and the heroes but it pains me to have to swallow the fact it’s once again Soga being the voice of reason.”- At this point, what’s one more pain to the list? Might as well grin and bear it, cause we sure aren’t getting a sudden switch over to Bakugo being Koichi’s helper, funny as that would have been. 11) “Also, he probably could’ve already done that if he wanted, I think he’s planning something. That’s the only explanation for him not going up a building and then legging it the opposite way since you can’t do sharp turns easily.”- Since a lot of heroes, especially pros, tend to use Ariel support or parkouring around the city rooftops to get around whilst on patrol, Koichi going up high only makes him a visible target and puts him in their preferred hunting grounds, as shown by both Edgeshot and best Jeanist, whose ability let them semi-spiderman their way around. Sticking to the dark streets lets Koichi move quickly and mostly undetected, but with Tensei covering the ground he’s forced to go high or order to avoid the net.

12) “Huh, guys, a net? He can jump over it

and even if that fucking creppy-ass girl tries I doubt she’s fast enough to catch him 

what is going on”- Tensei and his sidekicks are cutting off Koichi’s avenues on escape on the gorund whilst letting other, more mid-air capable heroes monitor the area from above in case Koichi tries to go vertical as an escape. Demonstrating teamwork and trust even between different groups of heroes, just like a proper Pro should.

13) “And there he goes… Yeah, I knew that would be the case, they didn’t even stood a chance

Really, no air support to intercept him even though everyone by now knows he can jumps around and is just a minute away from actually being able to fly. I retract my statement Tensei, turns out you are an idiot.”- Tensei’s group is highly-skilled at cooperating in large-scale operations on a level ground floor, but we’ve not really seen many of them that can fly well, if at all. In which case, Tensei’s ok with allowing other pros who have skills that cover that gap to step in to subdue Koichi if words or force won’t convince him to submit. It’s honestly not that different from the kinda tactics Izuku’s pulled off with 1A and their varied abilities before, showing how success requires more than one superhero who’s capable of covering all possible types of situation. 14) “TENSEI PLEASE DID YOU SERIOUSLY CAME ALL THIS WAY TO CATCH HIM AND YOU DIDN’T EVEN BOTHERED TO GET SOME INTEL ON WHAT HE CAN DO NOW?

HE WAS INVOLVED IN THE SKY EGG AND FIRES GEORG RAMPAGE, THE HEROES SHOULD HAVE KNOW WHAT HE CAN DO ALSO, WHO ELSE DID YOU RECRUIT FOR THIS”- The heroes did know what Koichi can do. That’s why Tensei outsourced some extra help this time around….

@thelreads

[articulatedbyleilani]

Dishonesty, disappointments and challenges

The more time passed, the less honest he became in regards to things he didn't hesitate to be honest with before, and then more challenges came up.

Something I've always disliked about myself was my patience, tolerance level, how forgiving I was and how unintentionally understanding I was. Traits that nobody gives my credit for, because in the end, it seemed to be benefiting everybody me. I get it though, it's my own fault, but I can't be any less of who I am. I can't do opposite of what god and my heart is telling me to do.

First impressions and first conversations are important, because based on what you show me, tell me and the picture you paint is always going to be what I hold you too.

During this time of our relationship, all I had was his word. One of the first things we talked about were our expectations about keeping in touch with exes and I told him it was a no for me, and he agreed. Later on, his behavior and actions showed different, claiming "Maybe his views on that changed". When we met he told me his ex was not in the picture, to me witnessing different. His ex was always calling, always texting, doing everything you can literally think of. He made it seem like it was mandatory for them to keep in touch because they were together for "2 years" and he also said "I don't have to hate her", which was true. He didn't. The problem is, from the jump he said he agreed on the ex thing, then he changed his mind. He could have said, "I don't entirely agree, I still talk to my ex every here and there, so I don't want you to be surprised later", I wouldn't have been as disappointed.

The more time passed, the more she kept getting in the way with no intentions of committing to him or helping him with his struggles. This is when everything he was doing started to hurt me. The communication was the opener, his lack to set boundaries with her reaching out when we were together was disappointing, but the actions following behind it was what hurt me and sealed it.

Now, here comes the lies and disappointment - The disappointment is the way he executed notifying me of her coming to Arizona, he did it over the phone. Killer. The lie was him telling me she was coming here to "get the rest of her stuff", just for me to find out later, she took nothing and it was a pre-planned visit, more like an "I miss you baecation". A pre-planned visit with an ex he said wasn't involved. More disappointed because when were together, he would take any chance to respond to her and run with it, but when they were together, he didn't check in with me once.

Did I reach out? Of course not. At least I had the respect to respect whatever they wanted to do with their time together.

Fast forward July 2022, more disappointment. Again over the phone, telling me he's going to ATL to visit her because she got him a ticket. The hilarious part is that I'm the idiot who dropped him off at the airport. The disappointing part is that he saw how hurt I was, held me while I cried and still went. I asked him to let me know when he landed, and of course, crickets. Mad crickets the entire time. 4 days later, I'm being asked to pick him up from the airport.

I found out later that the trip wasn't as good as I thought it was going to be for them, because as soon as he got there, there was condom wrappers every where, and she didn't even have the common sense to clean up after herself and that was messy - very messy for any female to do. I also found out they got into a big fight when he went to see her too, so obviously knowing this, it made me feel a tad bit of relief. I guess knowing this made me feel better because I saw her and I as two different females at this point, but I wasn't sure if he saw us as two different people.

Time goes on and i'm fed up of their pointless relationship because neither of them knew why they were wasting each other's time knowing they were both on to the next thing anyways. I even expressed that since they couldn't leave each other alone, they might as well have got back together and worked things out because what they both failed to realize is that what they were doing was hurting other people. It was so unfair. I begged him to stop, and the only response I'd get was rejection.

A few days after this, I'm at Donnel's house waiting for him to get home, he comes inside, immediately goes to the freezer to grab his Tennessee Honey, drinks it, comes sits next to me and asked me "Would you hate me if I moved to ATL?", we both started crying. Of course I'd be upset, hate is a strong word, but if it was what he ended up choosing, I would've FELT like I hated him because then he would've proven to me why all my feelings were valid, but I wouldn't have hated him, I would've resented him if anything. But being who I am, I had to be supportive...

Why did this hurt me so much? It's pretty easy to understand. This was the first unintentional truthful situation that was shown to me to help me determine the truth between his words vs his actions. This is also when I realized he was fighting for and with a girl, who just left him to struggled when he was becoming the best version of himself, while I was picking up the pieces, delivering patience and loyalty. It would blow my mind because even though I don't know the details of the relationship they had, he and his family shared the negatives with me. I started to feel like I was just a distraction for him, like I was just the girl "for now" or "until he could figure it out". Most importantly, It hurt me because it took me so long to heal, so long to allow myself to love and be loved. It took me so long to gain the strength to leave my past behind me and go into a new relationship with a clear mind and clear heart, and he started to open up new wounds after trusting him.

I've always explained to him why this particular situation affects me the way it does, but he's confirmed with his words and actions he doesn't understand nor cares to understand, he just wants me to know why it was okay for him to do it, which was being "I wasn't his girlfriend". If anybody was to ask him why it hurt me, he'd probably say "she's just insecure". That statement in itself was a huge disappointment because when we were together, he made it seem like we were together but when we weren't, I was just another girl.

[yourmcu]

Forgotten (CONTINUED VERSION)

Pairings: Tony Stark x daughter!reader, Peter Parker x Stark!reader (platonic)

Request:

Hello i love your story could you do angsty tony x daughter reader. Wherein the reader has a twin brother and Tony and the avengers prefer the twin brother and becaus of that, the reader became rebel and badass. She always getting trouble and almost drop out student. The avengers and her father were seem disappointed and dont know what to do. Not until the reader involve into car accident and she's critical injured. The reader also slipped to coma. Everyone is devastated about the reader conditione. And they realized that the reader only rebel because she wants to get attention from them. It depends to you what the end come, I just want a full angst this week and I hope you dont mind my English. Anyway I hope your alright.

A/n: y’all wanted it, I finished it :)

Word count: 3,984

(more notes at the end!)

Warnings: angst, hurt/comfort? bad writing of an anxiety attack, accident, knife, hospitals

read it on ao3!

gif not mine! credits to the owner^^

Being a genius/billionaire/superhero’s kid doesn’t always sound nice like it usually does.

You were one of the Stark twins, the other half being your brother, Ethan.

The both of you showed signs that you inherited the commonly known Stark trait (intelligence) at a young age. But Tony mostly focused on his son, showing him all his inventions and gadgets, teaching him everything he knew while you on the other hand, were being babysat by Happy or Pepper, sometimes Rhodey.

You tried so hard to get your father’s attention but he always had his excuses:

“I don’t have time for that.”

“I’m busy with Ethan right now.”

“Maybe later.”

At first you didn’t mind if your brother got all the praise and attention. It wasn’t until your mid-teens that you really started to feel left out and ignored.

You were left to frown when the other Avengers never found anything interesting about you, just like Tony did. They all liked Ethan better. The topic of him being the next Iron Man when Tony retires is getting exhausting.

There was this one time when Tony announced that they were all going out to dinner since Ethan got, yet again, a full set of A’s on his report card.

“Did you get my card?” You tapped on Tony’s shoulder lightly.

He gave you a side glance, “ah shoot, I forgot. I’ll go get it tomorrow.” Then returned his attention to your brother.

But he ended up forgetting again the next day and you had to convince your teacher to give it to you instead. Your marks had A’s, but littered with B’s as well, of course that was no match for your brother’s perfect marks.

And that sort of scenario wasn’t just a one time thing, Tony forgets to pick up your report card every. single. time. The messed up part was you and Ethan literally attended the same school, he was just in a more advanced class than you.

As time passed, Tony went from ignoring you to getting annoyed and pissed at you for everything you did. In his eyes, you were always in the wrong. And the reason? You didn’t know.

“Dad? Can I borrow Bruce for a minute?” You knocked on the glass door of his lab to get him to look up.

He didn’t, but responded, “kinda busy with him right now.”

You looked at your fractured arm, regretting your decisions. “W-well, Ethan was training with Nat, and... and he wanted to try the new moves he learned on me. He went a little hard and - I think my arm’s broken, I just wanted Bruce to check it out-”

“Goddammit!” He shouted after you heard a glass shatter. Bruce covered his face with palms, muttering an ‘oh no’.

Tony glared at you, striding to where you were standing. All that was left for you to do was to brace yourself for what was about to come. “See, this is why we never let you do anything with the team,” he spat. “That right there?”-he pointed to your arm-“that’s on you. Things go wrong because you’re in the way!”

“I’m... I’m sorry-”

“Just get out of here.”

Your arm remained untreated after that.

Then Peter Parker came into the picture. Friendly guy, he was actually nice to you. Him and Ethan got along right away when Tony first recruited him. The fact that he treated Peter better than you made you even more miserable. It made you think he never wanted a daughter in the first place.

You first met Peter when he accidentally entered your room without warning, thinking it was the bathroom. Cliche, but that’s what happened.

“It’s on the first door to your other left,” you stated.

“Yeah, yeah okay, thanks,” he turned around to leave but stopped to look at you again. “I’m Peter Parker, by the way.”

“Y/N Stark.”

Peter’s eyes lit up at your last name. “I... I didn’t know Mr. Stark had a daughter - no offense! It’s just-”

You sighed and waved him off. He didn’t even notice the similarities you had with your twin. “It’s fine. I get that a lot.”

After many events of being, to be blunt, treated like shit, you finally had enough. You neglected your studies, only went to school when you felt like it (which was rare). No one cared your grades anyway, so what’s the point? You became a whole new person, you surrounded yourself with the wrong sort of people, causing you to dabble into smoking and alcohol.

Since you were always in trouble, you could recite Cap’s detention speech at school by heart now.

The principal of your school wanted to see Tony to talk about your behavior. Normally he’d make an excuse not to go if it wasn’t that important but he got flooded with messages from the school, so he couldn’t say no.

You had your legs crossed, sitting across from Tony who had his eyebrows furrowed as he listened to the principal. For some reason you didn’t feel nervous. “Y/N barely attends her classes. I’ve seen every attendance. Are you aware of this, Mr. Stark?”

Tony only maintained his usual relaxed posture and avoided your gaze.

“Some students have also seen her smoke in school grounds. We gave her a few weeks suspension for it, but it doesn’t look like she’s learned her lesson.” They pulled out a couple boxes of cigarettes from the desk drawer. “We found these in her locker.”

“You went into my locker?” You shot up from your seat. “You can’t just do that!”

Tony cleared his throat and got up, gripping your wrist. “I’ll take it from here - will that be all?”

On the way out he doesn’t say a word to you, only that his grip on your wrist got tight as you near the car.

“So,” he started the car. His voice was calm, but it screamed that you were in deep trouble. “What do you have to say for yourself?”

You sighed and slouched in the passenger’s seat, crossing your arms. “I’m... sorry you had to know...?”

“Yeah, I’m just gonna be honest with you here,” Tony still doesn’t look at you. “When I found out I had two kids, I got worried about Ethan.”

You let out a snort. Of course he would.

“I didn’t want him ending up like me. But surprise surprise, my daughter did instead.”

“I’m not ‘ending up’ like you, Dad-”

“Then what do you call - this,” he referred to you. “What, you’re just gonna waste your life, drop out of school? You’re a fucking mess, Y/N, and here I thought I raised you right. Sometimes I think: why can’t you just be like your brother?” He had a hard grip on the steering wheel as he drove, the way he spoke affected the speed of the car greatly.

You opened your mouth to speak but you couldn’t fine the exact words you wanted to say. “I... well, I’m sorry I’m not a goody two shoes like him!”

“That’s not what I-”

“Please, that’s exactly what you meant.”

He scoffed, shaking his head. “Look, I’m grounding you until you pull yourself together, understand?” And he did. He gave new orders to Friday when the both of you got home. You weren’t allowed to leave the compound without Tony’s permission.

Were you giving up that easily? Of course not.

You were on your laptop for the rest of the day, hacking into Friday’s system, the security to the elevator and the entrance. That night, your executed your plan and everything went smoothly.

“This is why you never underestimate me,” you sighed, deactivating the hack once you were out of the building.

Your friend who was picking you up was already waiting a few blocks away from the compound. “I hope you’re cool with me staying over for a couple days.”

“If a bunch of Avengers come and destroy my place to look for you, I’m not going to be friends with you anymore.”

You laughed at out, “oh trust me, they don’t care.”

----

The next day no one noticed your absence, nobody did for another two days. Tony just assumed you were mad about your punishment, so he didn’t think of it much.

Not until Peter came to the compound on the third day, wanting to hang out with you.

“Whatcha got there, Pete?” Ethan asked.

“Star Wars movies. I wanna watch them with Y/N - she could use some company, don’t you think?”

The older Stark twin shrugged, “yeah, I guess she could.”

Peter then headed to the elevator and stopped at the floor where your room was. He knocked on your door and waited a bit, after a few minutes of silence he knocked again, still nothing.

“Y/N? Is it okay if I come in?” He called out. No response. He hesitated a bit, for all he knew you were probably changing or something, or you could be in danger. He went to open the door anyway. “I’m coming in, I’ll close my eyes just to be-”

To Peter’s surprise, your room was empty.

----

You were at a 711 parking lot, waiting for your friends who were buying supplies for a house party. You gave them your wallet, not really caring about anything anymore. Your phone was starting to pile up with messages and missed calls from Tony, Edward and Peter, occasionally from the others as you scrolled pass more.

Without thinking you threw your phone to the ground, cracking the screen, breaking it completely. They’d be able to track you through it now that they know you ran away. You really had no intention of coming back. You weren’t wanted, what’s the point of going back?It’s early but you’ve had a few drinks already. You weren’t sure if breaking your phone was a good idea but there’s one thing you’re sure: you didn’t care anymore.

You didn’t have to turn your head to see who just arrived and ambushed your friends inside the store. They ran out and left you behind. The sound of webs coming out of his shooters was enough for you to tell.

“You shouldn’t be here, Peter,” you sighed defeatedly.

Peter gently took a seat next to you, not removing his mask since you were in public and handed your wallet back. “I don’t understand why you left.”

He took in your awful state. His suit scanned how intoxicated you were, estimated how many cigarette packets you’ve had. His frown deepened at the information.

“I care about you. We all do. Mr. Stark’s not going to stop the search party until you come home.”

You rolled your eyes at the term. “Stupid search party – pathetic – I’m not coming home anymore, Pete-” you slurred and tried to get up but stumbled back, almost twisting your ankle but fell to Peter’s side. “Ow.”

He sighed, struggling to get ahold of you since you always pulled away.

“Stop being so stubborn, okay?”

“If you don’t like my stubborn fucking ass then maybe you should just leave,” you stated. “I’m not wanted there. I got the message. I didn’t run away just to be fucking found.”

Peter stared at you for a moment. He didn’t know why you got grounded in the first place, how you got here and why you didn’t want to go back home. There was something off in the father-daughter relationship, he knew that, but it was news to him that it was that bad. That bad for you to waste your life, to run away. He always thought Mr. Stark was an awesome parent, the way he was treating Ethan, and him…

“It’s unfair,” you ranted. “God, if you only knew how pathetic I feel whenever he tells me off. I’m always annoying to him - not just to him, to the whole team, I’m always wrong in everything I do and it’s honestly tiring? What the fuck do I have to do just to feel loved and wanted?”

You went on rambling while Peter tried to comfort and deny every negative thing that came out of your mouth. He didn’t believe any of it, but the way everyone’s been treating you. He hated that he didn’t notice sooner. He could’ve defended you.

“I have nothing against you, I really don’t,” you sighed. “But you should be grateful they’re treating you perfectly.” You got up and strode to the opposite direction, mentally cursing because your friends ditched you and you has nowhere to go, phone destroyed and everything.

But you were staying true to your word: you didn’t have any plans to go back to the compound. You were going to figure your life out on your own.

“Y/N, I… I’m not leaving you alone out here!”

You were so fed up of the spider-ling. How good he was, how perfect, how Tony clearly wanted him more than you, how he always wanted to do the right thing, because none of you expected what happened next when he went to grab your shoulder. The action was so sudden that it Peter didn’t have time to avoid it.

Knife, shoulder, really deep.

Maybe it was just how wasted you were, because he knew you would never do anything like that.

“You’re really annoying, Parker,” you muttered, not wasting any more time watching him stumble out of shock and pain, sprinting across the streets.

With his uninjured arm, he shot webs while trying to pull the knife (the blade wasn’t even visible anymore on how deep it was) out of his shoulder. There was a loud bang, and Peter never sprinted so fast in his life, not caring less about the pain and blood, because what mattered most was your safety. When he got there, you were far from safe.

-----

A week went by. And during those seven days Tony was on edge, I mean, how can be calm at a time like that?

Peter managed to show up at the compound the same night, breathless and shaky. His state made everyone worried but he wasted no time telling Tony what happened. He got you to the hospital, making sure you were being sorted out right before leaving to break the news.

Tony didn’t think twice and went to the hospital where you were admitted, not listening to Peter’s apologies and leaving Steve to sort everyone out on what they should do.

They didn’t expect you to show signs of waking up after only a week since the accident got you mangled up, it was mostly a blow to the head and as expected, you slipped into a coma.

Right, what happened: an awful timing really, not sure if Peter’s the one to blame but he accidentally stuck you to the ground with his webs, and it just so happened a car was driving at a fast speed – there you go.

Tony made sure you got the best treatment possible. He even went and asked Strange if he could do all the surgeries needed, but he declined, claiming he couldn’t anymore despite the sympathy he felt inside. Instead he asked the best doctors he knew, but still helped out sometimes in any way he could.

You took a breath, trying to open your eyes but the blinding lights of your room and them almost feeling as if they were glued shut from not being open for so long prevented you. You also tried moving your hands, only to feel a warm one rest on top of it, you finally opened your eyes.

“You’re awake,” Tony mumbled, rubbing a thumb on the back of your palm soothingly. “You’re awake and you’re okay.”

“Mr. Stark?” Peter called out, spotting his mentor sitting outside the room where they were doing the final surgery on you. It was his first time visiting, seeing as the knife wound was worse than he thought. “I’m so sorry, I-“

“What happened?” Was the only thing Tony said, not looking up to look at the kid. Peter stood there for a moment but told him everything that happened.

After that and after he made sure you were okay, resting in your room and everything, he let Natasha look after you for the night and headed back to the compound.

The kid would never lie to him but he had to see it all for himself. The Spider-Man suit caught everything through the baby monitor protocol. From when he arrived to the convenient store, when you told him countless of times that you weren’t coming back, and when your drunk self ranted about what you felt.

“What the fuck do I have to do just to feel loved and wanted?”

“He seemed to like both of us equally when we were younger,” you sniffled. “Of course he would, but… my brother just turned out to be special and talented and,” you frowned, “he’s all Tony ever wanted for a kid. Maybe I reminded him of the chick he fucked, I don’t know – must be it, right?”

“Y/N, you’re just as special as-” Peter tried to reason but you threw him a glare. Tony could see the pain and heartbreak in your bloodshot, tired eyes. One that said you didn’t want to hear anything like it anymore. You didn’t want to believe it.

“The thing is, they only want you when you’re gone. Missing. Dead,” you shrugged. “I can take a hint, you know? My only family hates me. My only family doesn’t want me. Now you – all of them – are looking for me… why?” Peter flinched at the loudness of your voice. You truly were broken.

Tony fast forwarded, it didn’t clearly show how you got hit, but he had enough anyway. He wanted to make things right with you. He could only hope that you make pass this, hoping that you’ll let him make it up to you.

“It’s not too late, you know,” Steve said from the entrance to his lab. “Y/N is strong. She’ll make it.”

“Why am I not dead?” You croaked, looking at your father with an anxious expression. You letting out another shaky breath as you struggled to move and look around. “I should be dead. Why am I here-”

“Take it easy-”

“Don’t you understand?” You felt your throat aching, breath quickening. “I don’t want to be here!”

“No, you’re okay. Y/N you’re okay,” Tony tried to calm you down when he saw the lines in your heart monitor go up and down in rapid pace. 

“I’m not - no I’m not - not okay,” you struggled to let out. It felt like you were choking on your own breath, getting harder and harder to breathe by the minute, soon tears started to prick your eyes. “I don’t want to be here!”

“Tony, what's going on?” Steve bursted into the room with an alarmed but calm expression.

“Call Strange. Anyone.” He told the captain but his eyes never left you. He rubbed a part of your arm that wasn’t injured soothingly in attempt to calm you down. “Just breathe for me, okay? I’m here and you’re okay.”

Something about the softness and encouraging look in his eyes made you nod eventually and follow his breathing patterns. He held a glass of water for you to drink, holding your struggling hand softly to get it out of the way.

He’s never looked at you like that before.

Most of the time he ignored you, most of the time he looked at you at anger or annoyance when you’ve fucked something up.

“There we go, we okay now?” You looked away and nodded lightly. That was enough for him. Tony wanted to let you know how sorry he was so bad, but thought against it, at least for now. He was scared you might start freaking out again.

Stephen entered the room with the doctor, the other Avengers following closely behind. The amount of people in the room overwhelmed you a bit, but you were strangely calm because of how your father’s acting. Soft and caring, it made you feel safe.

Both doctors concluded that you had some sort of amnesia. In English, your past memories were blotchy, all of them even from your childhood. Again because of the blow to the head it was already expected. But you remembered the recent ones clearly, which was the reason why you avoided looking at Peter and his patched up arm.

Which also meant it was possible you didn’t remember all of the pain you felt concerning your family. It was unfair on your part.

Strange insisted that you stay a few more days, or one more week, just to run tests and make sure you get enough medicine and stuff.

They decided to see how bad your memory loss was.

“I did that to you,” you still refused to look at Peter completely. “I’m sorry, Peter.”

“I’m just glad you’re okay.” Peter gave you a smile.

You moved to the next person. Red hair, seemed to give off a friendly but civil nature. “Natasha? You’re Natasha.”

The Russian merely smiled and crossed her arms.

“Steve,” you stated, moving to the next person. “You always read old books in the kitchen.”

Steve chuckled, nodding to confirm.

“Ethan,” you smiled as you looked at your twin. He gave you a small wave even if he felt as guilty as Tony about everything even if he wasn’t the one to blame.

You stared longer at the next person, almost shoulder length dark brown hair, he’s wearing a jacket to cover his metal arm but you knew it was still there.

“Ducky?”

Peter let out a giggle, so did you brother.

“It’s Bucky, doll,” Bucky smiled, covering his face with his hand to suppress a chuckle as the rest laughed.

“Oh, right, I’m sorry,” you let out a weak giggle yourself.

You meet Tony’s eyes again, the softness still there.

“Dad,” you stated. “You’re my dad. Tony.”

No, you didn’t completely forget how he treated you. You knew he was annoyed with you, which lead you to think that you did something that made him act that way. “Am I bad?”

Tony’s hopeful expression dimmed. “What do you mean, sweetheart?”

You shrugged. “You’re mad at me, I just… I guess it’s just not clear on why.”

Steve thought it would be best for everyone to head out for a bit so he ushered everyone out of the room except for your brother who took a seat at the corner.

“About that, it’s about time we talked, yeah?” Tony sat on a chair backwards beside your bed. It made you nervous, but you were reassured. “You’re not in trouble, don’t worry.”

He exhaled, resting an arm on the top rail. “You deserve so much better. I should’ve treated you better,” you opened your mouth to ask but he continued. “Look, I haven’t been fair with you and it’s a problem. You’re smart, talented and beautiful. I figured you needed to hear it more often because it’s true. What I’m trying to say is, I’m sorry. I really am.”

Your bottom lip involuntarily trembled. “You – you really mean that?”

“From the bottom of my heart.”

You sighed, a genuine smile plastered on your face. “Thank you. And I’m sorry if I was a pain in the ass-“

“You never were,” Tony shook his head. “You always did your best and I really should have acknowledged it more. Give me a second chance?”

“Of course.”

Tony smiled, getting up and planting a gentle kiss to your forehead.

Everything in life was so much better after all that. Tony treated you and Ethan equally, same goes for Peter. The other Avengers were nicer, not the kind of nice that was almost fake, but it was genuine. All of them were. And you were thankful.

----

TAGLIST: @contanto-que-voce-me-queira @angeldreineedshelp @legendarymcnuggies @zoeyserpentluck @vienmiaprendere @alainabooks143 @hessogxlden

DID ANYONE MISS ME? BC I MISSED THIS PLACE

I highly doubt anyone’s still waiting for this, it was an unplanned hiatus I’M SO SORRY but I decided to post anyway :))

also I hope this wasn’t underwhelming, that’s one of the reasons why I was hesitant to do this but I hope its good heh (I’ve included the parts from my first post as well, just so it feels like a full fic)

WAIT I ALSO HIT 300 FOLLOWERS? INSANE. THANK YOU. I MEAN IT.

[annabellelupin]

Perciver (Percy x Oliver) Headcanons

They first met on the train ride to Hogwarts after Percy tripped over Oliver's luggage that he left out in the aisle

After a short argument, Percy went to find an empty compartment, only to find they were none and didn't have much of a choice but sit with Oliver

He was very annoyed to hear that he was more interested in quidditch than actual studies

"I can't wait until I can try out for the quidditch team next year"

"You know there's a lot more to Hogwarts than just quidditch right?"

When the train arrived at the station, Percy was more than happy to leave the compartment and the "annoying quidditch boy" behind

Unfortunately for him, the hat sorted them both into Gryffindor, meaning he would have to deal with and share a dorm with the obnoxious and impulsive jock for the next 7 years

Most of their first year, they completey ignored each other, finding the other extremely annoying

In their second year, Oliver became the Gryffindor quidditch keeper after he did amazingly at tryouts, which Percy wasn't too happy about

He thought that he wasn't taking anything that wasn't quidditch seriously, and he wasn't exactly wrong

Oliver always seemed to insist on putting off homework to practice quidditch

Percy tried to convince Charlie, the current quidditch captain, to kick him off the team multiple different times

"I agree that he should focus more on his studies, but he's the best Keeper Gryffindor has had in years. I can't just kick him off the team. We need him. Maybe you could just try to help him out a bit, you know, encourage him to study more,"

"He'd never listen. He's a complete moron and doesn't care about anything that isnt quidditch,"

"Well you're a complete moron that doesn't care about anything besides your studies but I'd still help you out if you needed it,"

Percy decided not to go Charlie's suggestion to help Oliver out, thinking that it would be a waste of time and continued with his earlier plan to simply ignore him completely

However, half way through third year Mcgonagall offered Percy a chance at some extra credit, and of course he agreed before she even explained what it was all about

She explained to him that Oliver wasn't doing very well in transfiguration and if he continued doing poorly, he would have to be removed from the quidditch team so he could focus more on his studies and when she had discussed the matter with Charlie, he suggested having Percy tutor him

If it wasn't for the fact that he'd hate to go back on his word and disappoint Mcgonagall, he wouldn't have done it at all

Although he didn't hate the idea of tutoring such a moron much less

He tutored him for the rest of third year, and neither of them were too happy about having to associate with the other as much as they did

Fourth Year, Oliver was appointed quidditch captain by Mcgonagall (and just as Charlie had requested)

Percy continued to try his best to ignore him, although it was becoming harder and harder to do since they had most of the same classes

One night a few weeks before the first Gryffindor quidditch match of the season, he found Oliver alone in the Gryffindor common room with rolls of parchment and quills everywhere

"Finally decided to do a bit of studying?" Percy asked in a mocking tone

"No actually. I'm working on strategies for the quidditch game. Not that you'd understand," Oliver retorted as he took out another roll of parchment from his bag

Percy grabbed one of the pieces of parchment paper and examined it closely

After he took a look at a few others, he quickly realized how well Oliver was at strategizing

"These strategies-"

"Let me guess, are terrible and not as good as your brother's?"

"I was going to say genius,"

Oliver quickly looked up at him to try to see if it seemed like he was lying or not

"You really think so?"

"Of course I do, we both know that if i didn't think they were good I'd just tell you,"

"Thanks" Oliver replied awkwardly

"Might I offer a few suggestions,"

"I don't see why not,"

For the rest of the night, the two boys continued to discuss quidditch strategies for the upcoming game

After that night, they started to talk to each other a lot more, slowly realizing the other wasnt so bad after all

Percy even agreed to tutor him once again, as long as he actually tried to put forth the effort

They quickly became friends and often stayed up late into the night, talking about quidditch and exams and helping each other when ever they needed it

Their fifth year was definitely a bit more complicated than that with Percy being busy with prefect duties and Oliver with quidditch

It seemed as if the less time they spent together, the more they both realised how much they actually liked each other

About half way through fifth year, Percy's good friend, Penelope Clearwater, asked him if he was seeing anyone

"Do you have a girlfriend?"

"No"

"Perhaps a boyfriend then?"

"Nope"

"Well what about Wood? You two seemed awfully close last year,"

"He's just a friend"

"Mhm sure he is,"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean just friends, don't look at each other the way you two look at each other,"

Percy thought about what Penelope said a lot over the next few days, slowly becoming more and more confused as to how he felt about Oliver

He also kept thinking about how even if he did like him, there was no way Oliver felt the same- or even liked boys for that matter

It seemed like Oliver had a new girlfriend every few weeks, never sticking with one for long

Percy began ignoring him on accident, and Oliver was quick to notice but chose not to say anything, worried that he had done something to cause Percy to be mad at him

The silence continued between the two for the rest of that school year, and wasnt addressed until the beginning of their sixth year

"Percy, we need to talk,"

"About what?"

"Did- did I do something that upset you last year?"

"Of course not. What would make you say that?"

"Well its just that you kept ignoring me is all,"

"I'm really sorry about, I wasn't meaning to its just-" Percy took a deep breath in and decided to be honest with him "It's just that Penelope suggested that I liked you and then i started thinking about it and slowly realized that what she said was true so I accidentally started ignoring you,"

"Wait, you like me?"

"I know it's stupid and that you don't feel the same,"

"What do you mean? I've had a crush on you since fourth year,"

"What?!"

"I thought I had made it so obvious,"

"I- I never realized once. But if you do like me, then why do you keep dating so many different girls?"

"I was trying to make you jealous. I honestly don't even like girls,"

"Wow. I feel so stupid,"

"Me too,"

After that they decided that they wanted to be in a relationship together, but wanted to keep things a secret for the time being

The rest of their sixth year went pretty smoothly, and everything went really well until seventh year

During their seventh year, they weren't able to talk much during the day since both were really busy (Oliver with quidditch and Percy with head boy duties)

They still always tried to make time for each other tho

After losing the match to Hufflepuff, they snuck out of the castle and got some butterbeer and Percy attempted to cheer Oliver up (it did work in the end)

Later on after Gryffindor won the house cup, the two ended up just cuddling and kissing in their dorm room instead of joining the other Gryffindors in the common room party since Percy wasn't fond of all the noise

Once the two left Hogwarts a few weeks later, they both decided to keep in touch by letter and meet up when they could

When the Quidditch world cup was announced, Oliver offered to buy Percy a ticket for the seat next his, but he respectfully declined, already planning to sit with his family

Despite this, they spent a lot of time together while there

Almost immediately after the quidditch match ended, they snuck off together and ended up snogging by a lake not too far from where they were camping

Unfortunately Charlie found them kissing when he went to go look for Percy, and both of them became extremely flustered

"I uhh, we were just, umm, Oliver what were we doing again" Percy stammered, getting redder by the second

"Umm well weren't you just trying my butterbeer chapstick" Oliver replied, not trying to make eye contact with either of them

"Yes of course, and now that I have, I'll just leave" He tried to walk away but Charlie grabbed his arm before he could

"Wait just a minute Perce. I know that you and Oliver are dating,"

"What?? Why didn't you tell me that we were dating Percy?" Oliver lied, trying to act like he had no idea of what's going on

"You're not helping," Percy scolded his boyfriend

"I just saw you snogging him, if you're going to lie to me, at least try to do it well" Charlie mumbled

"I don't mind you two being together, and I promise I won't tell anyone" he added

"Thanks," Percy sighed

"So wait, you're not going to kill me for kissing your little brother?" Oliver asked jokingly

"Of course not" He laughed. "Bill probably would've though,"

"Well I'm just going to go back to camp now. I assume dad's wondering where I am," Percy attempted to walk away again

"One more thing,"

"What is it?"

"I just wanted you know that I think he's a keeper," Charlie laughed loudly

Oliver quickly joined in on the laughter and Percy groaned out of annoyance

I'm just going to leave this off here since its already really long but if you want me to write some more post Hogwarts Perciver hcs or any ship or character hcs, let me know (you can comment on this post if you want me to make more Perciver hcs and tell me through asks or dm for other character hc requests)

[stxleslyds]

ROBIN #5 BUT IT’S JUST ME TALKING ABOUT JASON.

Hey, how are you guys doing? I wasn’t going to review this issue and I won’t because this isn’t really a review, this is just me talking about Jason’s involvement in this story.

I mentioned in a previous reblog (as well as in a old post) that I am not a fan of Joshua Williamson’s way of writing Jason. I think that he, like Lobdell, thinks of Jason in a way that doesn’t really match Jason’s origin (UtRH, Lost Days) or his current stories (RHatO, RHO, and other brief appearances), I think that Williamson is writing this sort of mesh between fanon Jason and a self-indulgent Jason that results in a very... bland and kinda repetitive version of Jason.

I have also talked about my dislike of his writing from a “romance” perspective. I absolutely didn’t like how he wrote the supposed “relationship” that Jason had with Rose in Future State: Red Hood. It honestly left a very nasty taste in my mouth after I read those issues and I just didn’t see their chemistry, to be honest, while I was reading those issues I felt like Williamson was writing an “unrequited love” thing between both of them (Jason being in love and Rose not at all).

That is of course my opinion. I know that many people like this relationship and I respect that but just as a heads up, I am not a fan of Jason being involved in any sort of romantic relationship with anyone. It’s just something that I would rather not see in a Red Hood story and that’s just the way I see it (once again, you are welcome to think otherwise).

Now, after I have said all that (which I believe is necessary because I like to tell you guys my general stances on Jason related stuff), I can begin my “review” of Jason’s appearances in this issue. 

Let’s begin!

Rose calling Jason to tell him about Damian.

Yeah, I find this weird. Since when are Jason and Rose talking? Here is where I am lost because I think that I am missing some information. 

This Jason right here is supposed to be the Jason that was at the end of Urban Legends #6, right? The last time that I remember Jason interaction with Rose was back in RHatO vol.1 #40, I know that Rose had a “relationship” with Jason in DCeased and in Future State (Red Hood and Gotham) but here is the thing, DCeased is a story that doesn’t belong to this or any continuities so it doesn’t count and Future State is set in the future, and a future that might never happen at that. So, where is this “Jason and Rose being in contact” thing coming from? If anyone knows, please let me know. 

Anyway, I just think that Rose contacting Dick would have made more sense but I guess I am missing some context here but hey, I am here to also learn.

The other thing I would like to talk about these panels is Jason not wanting Damian to be involved in a dangerous “death tournament”. Oh, well colour me not surprised at all by that fact, than you so much. 

Who would have thought that Jason would have a problem with a child being involved in a dangerous situation (me, that’s who), I guess that this is confirmation of DC not reading their own material because in one book Jason’s helping a kid “kill” the Joker and here Jason is like “WHY DID YOU JOIN A DEATH TOURNAMENT DAMIAN!?” (did ya put your name in the goblet of fire?!?! said Dumbledore calmly). I guess this Omniverse thing that DC has going on is helpful when you want to blame inconsistencies on something other than poor management on DC’s part. 

I just think that it’s funny. And also right on the line of OOC and in character for Jason, because I can actually see Jason being worried if a kid is joining that sort of thing, but I also don’t see Jason caring much about what Damian does or doesn’t. 

“If I can come home, so can you”

Good lord, I am not having a good time. I hate this. If this is your first time coming across one of my post, Hi! My name is Tati and I absolutely hate the fact that the fanon concept of “Batfamily” is being integrated in actual comics canon. 

This is so bad, what the hell is Jason saying? This man knows nothing about Damian’s situation, why would Jason not think that Damian has his own reasons not to go back “home”??? 

And what the HELL is Jason calling “home”, is he calling Batman or the Batfamily “home”??? Child, are you on crack? Honest question, because Bruce has done nothing for you, he has done awful things to you and he really doesn’t like you. 

Let’s be honest for a second, Bruce hates what Jason has become ever since he came back from the dead, Bruce hates the fact that Jason has a different way of seeing things. He only tolerates Jason when he can molde him the way that he wants. 

I mean, what the hell is this, why would Jason, after the events of Batman and Robin (2011) #20, RHatO (2016) #25 and even Urban Legends #6, want to go back to Bruce or any of his bullshit? Why? How many times does DC have to prove itself that Jason and Bruce don’t work well together anymore? How long until they realise that Jason doesn’t fit in their Bat-narrative? 

I am so tired of this, I swear, when will this end?

Jason and Damian have a chat.

I don’t mean to be repetitive but, what the hell is this? 

First of all, here we are again with writers wanting to encapsulate every Robin’s whole being in one word, don’t they get tired of being this basic? Dick is experienced, Tim is smart... how dull do you have to be? I this was your attempt at having Damian waste time then you could have had him say something more creative. 

“You are the most emotional”, what does that mean? I mean, i guess it’s true but how is that relevant here, or why would that catch Jason off guard? Is it because fanon Jason is the epitome of “bad boy with a heart of gold” or...?

Also, Jason returning the hug after such a wild conversation has me wondering what the hell is going on, weren’t these two fighting the last time they saw each other? Why didn’t Jason realise that Damian hugging him is off?

Jason is a dumbass.  

Well, he isn’t, Jason Nation knows that but he has been written as if he were a dumbass. How did Jason not see that Damian had ulterior motives when he “hugged” him? Jason, my love, you guys fought the last time you saw each other and because the Omniverse is a thing, you also tried to kill Damian...

Why wouldn’t you think that Damian going for a hug was actually a trap? Are you being written as an unintelligent human being again to make another character look good when you are easily defeated? Is that it? 

Yeah, that’s it. 

I don’t know what else I can say about this panel, like come on, give Jason a little credit, we swear he is smart DC! 

Don’t try to play games with Dick, Jason. 

Dick was having none of it! What was he thinking? Jason got his ass tasered and now he is like “Dick why would you let Damian play games with you?”. Why do people write Jason this way? Why is he the dumbass/comic relief nowadays? Is this why he was dragged back to the Bat? So he can be the dumb one with snarky remarks? 

How boring.

-

Listen, I think that this issue was good when it came to Dick and Damian’s moments, they are the ones that have more history together, they respect and love each other enormously. Their interaction were really good, very enjoyable. My problem with this issue was obviously Jason’s presence and the part that they let him play. After reading this, I know that I was right when I thought that Jason shouldn’t have been put here. It doesn’t make sense and it does nothing for Jason’s characterization. 

So yeah, those are my thoughts on this, as always, you are welcome to think differently! 

[oliviayamaoka]

The Roseville Murders (Chapter 2)

Hi, just wanted to say I adjusted the plot slightly and will go into more detail with the story next chapter! This was a bit experimental and I wanted to write the growing relationship / rivalry between Y/N and Danny. I also wanted to write Y/N as a girlboss and to be just as witty as Danny!

Anyways, please comment any ideas or suggestions you may wanna see in future chapters! I have this planned out but would love any ideas or stuff I can add into the story! Tysm for reading!

It rained softly outside as you took a seat at your workplace. The desk was a bit cluttered with your art, notes, junk, and your papers regarding your current investigation.

One of the drawings on your desk was a sketch of Ghostface’s mask, attached to it was a few notes regarding the origin of the mask. Did Ghostface care for the history of it, anyways? You already theorized he was a narcissist who took pride in his work. Perhaps, he admired Edward Munch and his infamous “The Scream” artwork? Or maybe he based his persona off of it? You weren’t too sure but you did research the distribution and the company that made the masks. It wasn’t a particular popular company but it only distributed to the USA, Canada, and Brazil.

Ghostface didn’t seem too caring when it came to where he stabbed victims. As long as there was a lot of blood and something only he could perceive as art. And maybe you too. You felt excited, you already had a three year timeline. Maybe, you could get ahold of other states and ask if there’s been similar killings. Maybe even Brazil and Canada? You had to pinpoint a location and see if you could find just one name, any name.

Three years. Three countries. A part of you doubted he was Brazilian. Maybe Canadian? You weren’t so sure, you were pretty sure he was American. Y/N would probably have to go to the library tommorow to do research and use the slowly growing internet. Your research was suddenly halted when you knocked your sketchbook over.

Our slid a page. You kneeled down to pick it up, holding it as you examined the dark sketch. On the paper was a sketch of claws? No, they also looked like tentacles. Ever since the incident, you had dreams of these tentacle claws grabbing you and pulling you away from life as you know it. It must’ve been a sign of trauma or maybe it represented what happened through the nightmares? You slid it back into your sketchbook, deciding not to dwell on it. It would only make your room feel more depressing.

Beside your sketchbook was your leather journal. Y/N wrote everything in there, for mental health reasons. You included the incident and what Jonathan did for you. Your previous therapist said journaling your thoughts helped the healing process. It worked but journaling about how you killed your abuser was hell.

Your thoughts were suddenly interrupted when your phone rang. It was a chunky, black mobile phone you got about a week ago? Y/N reached for it and answered.

“Hello?” You answered, using your other hand to organize your desk.

“Hello?” A voice answered, it was a male by the sound of it.

“Hi, who’s this?” Y/N asked, paying no mind to the phone call as she started to put some of her stuff away. Art supplies.

“Who’s this?” He replied.

“Y/N L/N, am I who you’re trying to reach?” You asked, sitting back down.

“Ah, you’re no fun, detective.” He chuckled as you stopped, furrowing your eyebrows in confusion. Who was this?

“My apologies but, this is my personal phone. Can I ask who gave you this number?” You questioned him.

“Why does it matter, gorgeous? I know it’s you now.” He responded.

“Please don’t call me that. And yes, I am indeed a detective but I’d feel more comfortable discussing anything with you on my work phone.” Y/N said sternly.

“Oh, yeah… Detective L/N, huh? Think you’re some sort of hotshot because you’re new? Where did you come from? Washington? Gonna take more than the feds to catch me.” He said to you.

You listened intently and stopped for a moment. Catch him? Must be a stupid prank. Although, not a funny one since he had your personal phone number. An eyebrow raised as you looked at your notes on Ghostface.

“You still haven’t told me your name. Let’s not be rude, yeah?” You responded, being a little more cocky since you were off-duty.

“Awe, don’t tell me you forgot my name. I’ll give you a hint… I’ve been quite famous lately. In fact, I think you’ve taken quite the interest in me, Y/N.” The man teased. It was 100% Danny.

“I asked for a name, not an alias.” You said.

“Maybe after dinner, hotshot.” Danny said to you as you furrowed your eyebrows.

“I’m not in Roseville to play games. Either verify you are who you claim to be or quit wasting my time.” Y/N spoke with a stern tone.

“My last victim had three stab wounds to the throat. It was going to be two but their scream wasn’t as satisfying as I thought it would be. And they had a tattoo on their upper thigh. Bella Smith.” He said as you froze for a moment.

It was true. The latest murder victim was a middle-aged woman named Bella Smith who worked at a convenience store. She had multiple stab wounds but it was pretty much impossible to see she had three wounds on her throat just looking at photos of the crime scene.

“Okay and how did you get my number? I imagine the infamous Ghostface doesn’t have access to these types of things. How do I know this isn’t some sort of elaborate prank orchestrated by my coworkers?” You questioned.

“Honey, I am Roseville. Also sounds like you have experience with these kinds of things. You ever get humiliated like that?” Danny asked, grinning widely.

“No, it’s just a very logical conclusion. And why would you be talking to me anyways?” You asked him.

While you spoke to him, you quickly wrote down what he said and what he sounded like. You quickly speculated what his age may be, maybe 25?

“I keep tabs on the cops who are investigating my work and to be honest? They’re all stupid, it’s pathetic. Although, I noticed something about you. You come from one of the big cities, don’t you? You’re actually smart compared to those other pigs.” He said.

“Those pigs you speak of have tried their best in pursuing you. They have families too.” You responded.

“Really, huh? You’ve only been here three weeks? I think you should just trust me on this one because those other officers really don’t know what they’re doing. If you actually find out who I am, are they gonna give you credit? The newbie? A woman?” He asked.

“I don’t understand why gender is an issue. And why would they try to steal credit?” You questioned.

“They’re stuck in this shit hole city and I bet they could just really use a promotion right now. They want so badly to be the hero that arrests me… but first, they’ll let the freshly graduated detective do the work. It’s so easy to overshadow women in this world.” Danny said.

“Well, I don’t care. As long as you’re put behind bars.” Y/N responded.

“The bars at this station? I must say, your desk is quite cute. A bit plain but I like your style… interesting files too.” He mused.

“Huh?” You responded, furrowing your eyebrows.

“Your lil’ office at the station, I like it. This place has always been easy to break into. You noticed it too, didn’t you? Their security sucks and their morgue is just too damn small.” Danny said as you frantically looked around, shoving your shoes on.

“I’m going to call them right now and tell them you’re there. That was a stupid move on your part.” You said, practically yelling.

“So young and naive. I’ll be long gone.” He responded, chuckling as you hung up.

“Fuck, shit!” You said, quickly dialling the number to the police station.

You practically flung your door open, sprinting down the hallway and out through the front doors of the apartment complex after three flights of stairs. Your heart rate increased as you continued running down the sidewalk, feeling more frantic when there was no answer.

“Answer…!” You yelled, calling the emergency number.

“911, how can I help you?” A staticky voice answered as you continued running.

“I’m Detective Y/N L/N! Please inform the police station that there’s an intruder! He might be armed and dangerous! Do not touch anything since there may be forensic evidence!” You instructed.

“Oh—yes, right away, ma’am!” The dispatcher answered as you hung up, continuing to focus on your running towards the station.

Back at your apartment complex, there stood Danny with his own mobile phone. It couldn’t be traced back to him since it was stolen and he didn’t leave any DNA on it. If anything, it had the previous owners. Bella Smith. Your apartment complex had fire escape stairs outside your window. Easy enough, he thought. His outfit was black and had some stuff hanging off it. Strings? Ribbons? Danny was quite quick and extremely quiet when it came to climbing the set of stairs.

He reached your window, pulling it open gently and hoisting himself through, landing gently whilst kneeled down. For precaution, he had his knife gripped in one hand. This was purely for investigation and to see what you truly had on him. His head tilted curiously as he noticed your desk. Your art and notebook. His gloved hand reached out to your sketch of him.

Danny was truly impressed at how detailed and good it was. He read through your sticky notes and theories. Other than the fact he was blown away, he knew you were a threat since you successfully guessed his age range and height. Wait, his height? You did a careful examination of the footage he was in, looking at objects around him and his boots to correctly guess a height.

“What the fuck…?” Danny muttered as he looked at your notes.

The Scream by Edward Munch and a costume company? He skimmed over your notes and the psychological profile you built on him. He felt somewhat panicked since you were indeed no joke. His gaze averted towards your leather notebook. Eagerly, he grabbed it and opened it. Most of it was your thoughts and causes of your stress and anxiety. He stopped flipping through when he saw a darker page. It was dark because of the writing and how crumpled it seemed.

December 23rd, 1992

I was walking down an alleyway two weeks ago. It was cold so I had a jacket over my uniform. I suppose that’s why the man didn’t know I was an officer.

At first, I thought that he was going to try and rob me. It took me a while to realize that my money and belongings wasn’t what he was after. I suppose it would be appropriate to say that I was in shock for a moment. He never finished what he started. Despite being in shock, I was able to feel everything and the adrenaline only helped my rage.

Why? Why did this have to happen to me? After getting him off, I pulled my gun out and he stopped. I still remember the look on his face after I shot him. He was scared and pathetic, as he was in life. I don’t regret killing him. I never will. I just feel utterly violated. Never once have I been touched like that so violently. Is this what this fucked up world has come to? What if I didn’t have my gun and training?

He definitely did this to other women… he deserved to die. And I would do it all over again to him and to other men just like him. Of course, I had to call the police. They were going to charge me with manslaughter but they said that they would push this all under the rug, just as long as I never tell anybody. Did I contribute to corruption in the police force? This getting out would ruin everything. I don’t know but I do know that this was my gift.

Freedom was my gift for killing that man. It felt oddly exhilarating. I hope nobody remembers him, I hope his family know what kind of monster he was. Anyways, I’m being reassigned somewhere. They said they’ll give me my first investigation. In a smaller city.

Danny’s fingers trailed over the page. He felt angry and sad for you. That this happened to you. But, something arose in him when he kept re-reading that paragraph. You… enjoyed it? Behind the mask, he had a soft expression on his face. He imagined your beautiful face full of blood with you and your gun. He smiled gently as he kept the notebook.

He did indeed feel bad for you but he wasn’t satisfied with his limited knowledge of you. Danny decided to use this notebook of incriminating evidence to hold some leverage over you. Not only that but he figured he’d get to know you better if they had something interesting to talk to you about. Danny couldn’t help but grin when he thought about your journal entry and the sketches you made of him. So smart yet so naive.

Danny quickly took a look around your apartment to see all points of entry. He took a peak into your bedroom, it was neat and tidy. He seemed somewhat paranoid so quickly went back to your living room window, making his swift little escape. Not without taking some of your notes on him and your sketchbook.

About two hours later, you rubbed your eyes in frustration as another officer came to talk to you. There was a forensic team still investigating your little office space. Apparently, there was nobody here and your office seemed untouched. For about thirty minutes, you inspected any points of entry and tried to look for out of place shoe marks since it rained outside.

“Detective, are you certain it was the killer who called? We get prank calls a lot.” He said as you nodded.

“Yes, I’m certain. It was him, he knows I’m going to catch him soon.” You said as he nodded a bit.

“Okay, well, we’ll take it from here. Come early tommorow.” He said as you sighed.

“I will but please, don’t miss anything. I’m starting to think he was lying. It was him though.” You said as you turned, walking down the hallway towards the exit.

It seemed to be evening at this point and the rain stopped pouring. It was slightly humid but the city looked oddly beautiful when it was wet? You couldn’t stop thinking about your phone call with Ghostface earlier. Y/N already had some tech professionals try to track the number he called from and all of the information regarding the phone company. You’d have to wait two days at the latest for the results to come back.

As you walked through light puddles, you felt more and more tired. All the running and frantically searching for him was enough to just make you exhausted. It was all last-minute too. Y/N stopped dead in her tracks when she felt her mobile phone ring. You pulled it out of your pocket and answered it.

“Hello?” You asked, tired.

“Hey, gorgeous. Just wanted to apologize for my little deception trick earlier.” He responded as your eyes widened.

“Ghostface…” You responded, shocked that he had the courage to call you again.

“God, hearing that from you…” He said with a slight husk as you took a deep breath quietly to calm yourself.

“You know I’m close, don’t you?” You questioned him as he chuckled.

“Of course, I do… only these hands of mine can do wonders for you.” Danny said to you as you scoffed.

“You’re disgusting.” You say to him.

“Don’t lose your temper now, detective. There’s… things we should discuss.” He cooed.

“Things? Seriously?” You asked him, already tired of his bullshit.

“Yeah! Like, this lil’ notebook of yours! Really deep stuff… Victor Houston, was it? The serial rapist? Must’ve felt real good to put him down, didn’t it? Did it feel as good as you said it did in this thing?” He asked as you froze.

You probably let out a small whimper of shock as your hands trembled. Your heart pumped hard and fast. It was all you can hear as you felt your face heat out of pure embarrassment and shock. He… read your journal? This wasn’t good, this wasn’t good.

“W-What…?” You asked as he cackled.

“God, you’re so hot when you sound scared. Don’t be offended though, babe. You still sound real sexy in your cop tone.” He said as he continued.

“Yeah, I read all about the guy you killed. And how it was all covered up to accommodate you. Are you a star student or something? It’s hard covering up murders… or has it always been easy for you?” He asked.

“I-I, um… how did you get that…?” You asked him, trembling.

“You see, Y/N… we’re the same. You and I are too smart for Roseville. It’s just that I got the upper hand this time. While you rushed to the police station, I took a quick trip into your apartment.” He said as you let out a light gasp.

“Yeah, that’s right! I know where you live, I know where you’re from, and your number. I know who you truly are, Detective Y/N L/N.” Danny said mockingly.

“And what are you going to do with it?” You asked him.

“Always so straight to the point. I might give that annoying little journalist Jed Olsen. You’re trying to work with him, aren’t you? You mentioned in one of these notes… you also think he’s handsome.” He said as you covered your eyes.

You fought tears.

“Why? Why would you do this?” You ask.

“I should be asking you that. I’m a bit jealous you find someone like Olsen… attractive. He’s so boring, so normal, so… ugh, I hate talking about him. Still though, nice to know I have another fan besides him.” He said to you.

“Where are you going with this?!” You snapped as he chuckled darkly.

“I won’t tell anybody. Just as long as you halt your investigation for a while. I still want to have fun in Roseville here and well… get to know you.” He said.

“Go to hell.” You muttered.

“How original… so what’ll it be? I kinda need to know now since I’m also on a bit of a time crunch.” Danny asked you.

“W-What the fuck do you want me to do? Sit back and watch as you kill more innocent people?! I won’t let you.” You said with a venomous tone.

“What are you gonna do? Stop me behind bars?” He asked mockingly.

“Fuck you.” You said.

“I’m sure we will. But first, I just want you to sit back and not do anything stupid. We’ll see each other eventually. I’ll call you from another phone soon.” He said, hanging up.

You held your phone in disbelief and quickly made sure you had your gun. How the hell could you have been so dumb?! It was genius, leading you away from you apartment and finding such leverage against you purely out of luck. Your breath trembled as you walked back to your apartment, having your gun ready in your pocket as you did so.

[duskkodesh]

Spoiler free and spoiler review of Morbius from a comic lover’s perspective.

Okay, you know how this works. Spoiler free is up here. Spoilers will be under the cut. You have been warned!!!

First of all... WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST WATCH?! WHAT WAS THAT? IT CERTAINLY WASN’T MY FAVORITE CHARACTER OF ALL TIME. NOPE.  Spoiler free: Reviews saying it was confusing were not lies. It was a mess. Scenes felt like they were written by entirely different people and then thrown together, characters seem to have no relationship to one another, actors don’t express emotion except Matt Smith who is an absolute mad lad and I can’t hate him. Worst crime is there’s characters who seem entirely like a waste, they never get to really serve any pivotal role, and you get the sinking feeling that there was a board of Sony executives with a wishlist sitting and picking apart the script. The entire feeling of the film is ‘marketing decision’ and the ending is the least satisfying cinematic ending I’ve seen since The Lost World.

So, onto the spoilers

PLOT: The only things really in character for Morb are his sense of humor, altruism, and how much he absolutely gets the piss beat out of him. Other than that the character was unrecognizable and Leto’s stiff as a board acting did not help. The movie starts with the bat trap scene. You’ve seen almost all of it. Then childhood bits, cheesy but not the worst part of the film. Matt Smith’s character is Lucian, a kid who gets nicknamed Milo by a young Michael. We get not enough interaction to buy them really being friends then it’s onto the future. Morb is gifted, gets a scholarship, invents artificial blood, receives a Nobel prize which he refuses... god knows why. He’s a director at Horizon labs and working on his cure. Milo is an adult and funding his research. The two still speak but Matt Smith is the better actor here and carries the conversations. Martine also works at the labs and they aren’t together but there’s supposed to be chemistry... I guess? I wasn’t feeling it.  So, boat, tests, mercs, change, growling with bad CGI, Nom nom nom, and they at least kept canon with the fact he jumps off the boat. He sneaks back to the labs, runs tests on himself. Feeds on artificial blood and leaves out his vials of the serum that changed him. Milo checks on him, insists on this cure Michael has and they fight about it. Cliche’s happen, obviously he steals a vial.  Morb gets arrested, Milo visits him and lets it show that he used the serum. Morb vamps out and breaks out. They spend a lot of cam time on Milo turning evil, so much that for a bit I wondered if he was the main character. and OH MY GOD GUYS, the CG vampire head on Matt Smith is CRAZY. I had to hold in laughter. Milo and Morb fight, Milo kills ‘Nicholas’ AKA Jared Harris their older mutual mentor. Milo kills Martine, Morb finds her and drinks her blood. Are you ready for this shit?  The cam shoes a drop of Morb’s blood falling to Martine’s lips... YEP. Milo has a final big fight with Morb where... GET THIS. HE WINS BY COMMANDING A SWARM OF BATS. I wish I made that up. Deus ex battica. Martine is showed waking from death, Morb flees the scene. Stroud stands around having done very little in the plot... and the credits roll. That’s it. Then we get post credit scenes where Vulture shows up, goes free, then approaches Morb to ask if he’d work with him. Morb is in the sinister six, I’m so fucking done... I rant for an hour on the way home and my own SPOUSE Says he thinks it wasn’t as bad as Venom. HERESY. Obviously that’s just an outline, there’s more to it but... Okay, where’s my notes. My reviewer points... yessir. 

Acting: Bad, Tyrese Gibson is meh... Matt Smith is crazy and enjoyable. Everyone else is bad.

SFX: Some scenes look great, others the bodies ragdoll like rubber, or faces look ridiculous. It goes from bad to good so many times I had whiplash.

 Plot coherence: It’s not great... I’m gonna be honest. I’ve read better fanfic.

Soundtrack: Sometimes booming when it doesn’t need to be, but overall servicable. Some is absolutely genius like the music Matt Smith dances to.

Accuracy to Morb’s canon personality: Not... really? I mean he actively manages to NOT really make any huge bad decisions after he wakes up on the boat and that’s just not the loser I know. Points for him making very dry jokes and getting bossed around by Martine.

Chemistry between characters: Hoo boy, no. Just no. When Morb and Martine kiss I was just like ..”Why?”

Whether they did anything innovative: The flight effects and the bullet time were retro but honestly cool. I can’t hate on them.

And whether they dropped any comic easter eggs for Morb fans in particular. I didn’t really catch anything. Even lab numbers I thought would correspond to Marvel issues... really didn’t. It was a meh. Overall 5/10 because it’s a good laugh watch. Now, I need to cleanse my brain with old comic issues.

[doctenwho]

Moonlight Getaway

Hello! Thank you for the prompt, it was a lot of fun to write! This idea is adorable-- I always love a good dancing-in-the-moonlight trope, so hopefully you enjoy!

Bit of a disclaimer, since I’m uncreative, the planet I used is basically just Corona from Tangled, because for the life of me I couldn’t stop thinking about when Eugene and Rapunzel were hanging out and dancing in that scene when I read the prompt. So, oops if that influenced the fic?

Warnings: None.

Word Count: 3,450

Summary: Read the request above! :)

(Gif doesn’t belong to me, credit to the creator! :D)

You let yourself sink down, arms crossing across the table in front of you, and forehead resting on your forearms. You gave a heavy sigh into the room, blinking your eyes shut.  

You’d been travelling in the TARDIS all day—had been since you left the last planet you and the Doctor had visited, where you’d almost died. Twice. Three, if you counted the part where the Doctor slyly talked the two of you away from the space guns pointed at you.

It had been far more running than you’d ever like to happen, and as it turned out, running for your life really took all the energy out of you. Normal running be damned to the crash that followed an adrenaline ‘fearing-for-your-life’ run.

You’d been travelling with the Doctor for a while now, but you still weren’t quite used to... well, the threat that came with travelling Outerspace with an alien Timelord. How everything seemed to want to kill you, or chase you, or, well, kidnap you.  

And all the running you did on a daily basis. The running just to survive whatever you happened to be doing.

It wasn’t usually as bad as it had been the past couple days-- you’d just run into some problems on the planet, and were unfortunately unable to leave as quickly as you would’ve liked. You and the Doctor had been stranded, in near constant danger for the better part of two days before you’d managed to escape to the TARDIS and make a quick getaway.  

You weren’t even sure you’d done anything wrong, but perhaps the Doctor had at some point or another and it was just his past catching up with him. And you’d just kinda been roped along for the journey.  

It still ran you ragged. The past couple days. You wanted to flop into your bed, and never get up. To hibernate for at least a week before you were ready to join the world of the living again.  

You knew you couldn’t though, even though the Doctor would probably let you and not say anything about it, because he was just so soft with you. The thought of it just didn’t sit right with you though, no matter how good the offer looked. It would be a waste. Not everyone got what you got—to see space, and time, and travel with the last Timelord in existence. It really was worth a bit of exhaustion in the end.

That didn’t mean you couldn’t be tired right now though. Because you were. You’d slept all night, and into the day after returning to the TARDIS and getting off that planet, but you were still so tired. It was more mental than physical at this point.  

You just needed some down time where you weren’t in danger, which you were thankfully getting as you sat safe and sound in the TARDIS kitchen, and you hoped it would last for at least a while longer. Hopefully.

“(Y/N)?” the Doctor’s voice called, almost sing-songy.

You shifted around on your chair, lifting your gaze to peek your eyes out over your forearm to look at the Doctor. He was leaning against the kitchen doorframe, arms crossed over his chest and one ankle kicked up over the other. His head was tilted, blinking at you as a smile curled onto his lips.  

“Yes?” you breathed out, letting your chin drop down on your forearm, keeping your gaze on the Doctor. He gave you a grin, finally stepping into the room and sitting on the chair opposite to you.

“We’re here,” he told you.

“Here?” You raised an eyebrow in question, since you hadn’t thought the Doctor had any destination in mind, just that he’d been in a hurry to get you off the previous planet. He hadn’t said anything about it when you’d left him in the console room to retire to your bedroom yesterday evening, and he hadn’t mentioned it when you’d seen him when you woke up either. “And... where exactly is here?”

“Corona,” the Doctor told you, smile wide. “It’s a beautiful planet with friendly inhabitants. It's always very fun to visit, and I thought you might like a break from our usual travels.”

You hesitated for a second, still feeling so tired, and really not up for more running around and fearing for your life today. That usually was the Doctor’s definition of fun.  

Today was supposed to be a day of downtime.

“None of that, don’t give me that look,” the Doctor snorted a laugh as his eyes lit up happily, “no danger whatsoever. I wouldn’t have brought you here if I didn’t think you’d be completely safe after the last few... perilous days.”

You lifted your eyebrow once more, finally sitting up from your slouch on the table, “promise?”

“Of course,” he gave an honest nod, “I promise.”

You gave it one last thought before finally ducking your head in a nod. You really did trust the Doctor. It was hard not to trust him. He was just very trustworthy.  

“Great!” The Doctor grinned, “I promise you’ll have fun; don’t you worry. Now, why don’t you go get dressed, and I’ll wait for you in the console room, yeah?”

“Dressed in what?” You rose slowly from your seat, rubbing your tired eyes. He hadn’t said much about the planet, like what kind of clothes you should wear. Should you dress for hot weather, or cold weather?

“Something nice,” the Doctor shrugged, a playful twinkle in his eye, “but comfortable.”

You tilted you head, finally noticing what the man was wearing. It wasn’t his usual suit and jacket. The clothes he wore every day, his signature look.  

He was wearing a tuxedo classy and pristine—down to a perfectly tied bowtie. You’d seen him dressed up in this attire only once before, when he’d led you into some kind of gala back when you’d first started travelling with him.

“You’re in a tux,” you stuttered out in surprise, mouth agape, “...just how fancy should I be dressed for this planet?”

“Depends on the night,” the Doctor gave a cheeky grin, “you’ll look perfect in whatever you decide though.” He stood up, turning away from the table and walking towards the door, “I’ll be waiting for you.”

And then he was gone, turned down the hall and disappearing out of sight.  

You shook yourself from your stupor, finally managing to trail down the halls to your bedroom. You picked out an outfit—it was nowhere near as fancy as the Doctor’s clothes, but you liked it, and it suited you well. Just enough class to be considered fancy, but also comfortable to wear.  

The Doctor was waiting in the console room, as promised. He was perched over the TARDIS console, looking over the screen before he was pushing some buttons. His attention perked up to you when he finally noticed you stood in the doorway.  

“You look lovely,” he grinned, giving you a quick once over where he ducked his gaze off you when he realized what he’d been doing. He was quick to stand to his full height, clearing his throat as he adjusted his jacket cuffs. “Ready then?”

“You’re not going to tell me anything else about this planet?”

“No,” he laughed, “but I’ll show you?”

You gave a huffy laugh of your own before giving him a halfhearted one shoulder shrug, “I guess I’m ready then.”

“Lovely!” He chirped, striding towards the doors, and waiting briefly for you to follow. You didn’t bother hesitating anymore, now you were more curious than anything else. What did the Doctor have planned?

It was beautiful outside the doors. Something almost out of a fairytale.  

Stone walkways and street lights that lit up the darkening sky as the sun started to set above you. There wasn’t much street life, a couple families, children running around and being children—couples dressed in classy-casual outfits. Flowing dresses and skirts, and fancy slacks and dress-shirts as far as the eye could see.

Everyone obviously on their way somewhere, as they all trailed up the stone path, laughing and talking-- in generally good moods.

It looked almost like earth, and the human race, but with subtle differences. Just enough to remind you that you weren’t on earth. It was easy to forget you weren’t though—especially since they were speaking English.

“Ah, perfect,” the Doctor hummed to himself beside you, looking pleased as his eyes travelled over the sight outside the TARDIS doors.

“What’s... happening?”

The Doctor finished his gazing around quickly, before dropping his attention to you and a smile lifted onto his lips, “I knew my timing was right, this is a traditional festival. It’s yearly, I believe, but there’s always one gathering or another to attend around here. I’ve never seen any other planet quite as big on their celebrations as this one.”

“A festival?” you tilted your head in interest, “so... nothing dangerous?”

“One would hope not,” the man gave a light laugh, offering his hand to you, “I’ve never run into any problems here before.”

And that was enough answer for you, as you finally allowed some of the tension to ease off your shoulders. The Doctor attracted danger like a moth to a light source, so if he’d not come across anything dangerous here then you could relax a little.  

You managed a small smile as you settled your hand in his. The Doctor was quick to tighten his hand around yours, before he was leading you up the walkway with the rest of the townsfolk. The chatter exchanged was light, and friendly. The towns people invited you and the Doctor into conversation easily, and the children ran amongst the adults, weaving between them playfully.  

The atmosphere was refreshing—especially after the past few days of fear and struggling. And, as much as you hated to admit it, it was even better than being on your earth.  

The towns people were gathered in the town square, it looked like the entirety of the population was gathered for whatever they happened to be celebrating. There was singing, and dancing. Children playing around and couples swaying to the live music.  

“What do you think?” the Doctor leaned close to your ear so you could hear him over the full-swing of the festival taking place, “like it?”

“I do,” you gave him a shy nod, looking around at everything happening before settling your gaze back on the Doctor. “It’s like being home. Almost.”

“I’m glad you like it,” he gave you a smile, and it was almost too loud to hear him, “I hope this makes up for the past few days, they were definitely a fluke.”

“No, they weren’t,” you gave a bright laugh, “if anything, this planet is the fluke, Doctor.”

The Doctor gave a surprised laugh, before he was giving you an almost guilty look at the completely true accusation, “yeah, I suppose you’re right.”

“I love travelling with you, even though we almost die sometimes,” you told him fondly, batting your eyelashes at him, the action accompanying your words. The Doctor’s hand squeezed around yours for a second before he let his grip return to barely hanging on.  

“I’ll always protect you,” the man scoffed, though his eyes trailed over you fondly, “you’re safe with me, (Y/N).”

“I know,” you bowed you head, hiding your flushing cheeks casually.  

“Anyways,” the Doctor cleared his throat, thumb fluttering across you knuckles softly, “how about we check out the food? They’ve got amazing baked goods, if I remember correctly?”

“Let’s do it,” you gave an excited nod, grinning brightly at the Doctor, who returned it.  

“Allons-y!”

The food was pretty good. It wasn’t earth food by any means, and even if this place looked almost like earth, the food certainly didn’t. You still tried some of it, and enjoyed some of the pastries and desserts (which were amazing, like the Doctor had promised).

When the two of you were finished eating, the Doctor led you around to see everything happening.  

There were games occupying the kids in attendance, and the two of you had even been dragged along to join in one of the games by a cute little boy who you just couldn’t say no too.  

And it was fun. Playing around with the kids, and watching the Doctor let himself relax and enjoy their little games too. He seemed just as relaxed as you felt, even though he usually had an air of levelheadedness whenever you were around him, you knew it was just an act sometimes.  

Even though he was a nine-hundred-and-something year old Timelord, you knew he still got overwhelmed by some things, even if he attempted to hide it behind a mask of confidence.  

So, it was nice to see him so completely okay. A small, real smile as a little girl tugged him by his hand to the center of the game, bright eyes as a toddler tugged on the edge of his tuxedo jacket to get his attention.  

The two of you made your way to the live music next, watching the band play.  

There were instruments like the ones on earth, like a set of similar drums, and a guitar that looked pretty close to the ones on earth, but some instruments you didn’t know too. Everything blended together perfectly though, sounding beautiful and smooth.  

It was lively, and the surrounding crowd was enthused and dancing, enjoying their evening.

You weren’t exactly sure how you’d gotten dragged into a mixer dance. Or when one had even started?

You weren’t against it, instead laughing and following suit with the man who’d gently tugged you into the growing dance, away from the Doctor. You feared briefly that you’d be separated from the Doctor, but you didn't have to worry for long though, as you watched a woman tug the Doctor in just as the man had to you, pulling him along into the dance with her.  

You let out a laugh as you were twirled around, trying your best to follow the man’s footing as he danced with you. You glanced at the Docter every so often, watching him play the part just as you were. The man twirled you, and led you along following the rest of those dancing along with you.  

Before you knew it, you were twirled into someone else’s arms, another happy face who was returning your grin. The woman leading you along this time laughed, interlocking your fingers together with hers as you both twirled yourselves under your interlocked arms, laughing brightly together.  

It continued for a while, partners swapping around, following what you assumed was precise steps correlating to the music; dancing with men and women alike, before you were finally spun into a familiar chest. You didn’t even have to look up to know it was the Doctor, his arms wrapping around you, firm but careful, and the familiar scent of the TARDIS enveloped you.  

“Having fun?” the Doctor asked with a teasing grin. His cheeks were dusted red, as you were sure yours were from the dancing, and the laughing too.  

“So much,” you told him brightly, nuzzling your nose against him before following along in the dance as best as you could. You’d done it enough now, through the course of swapping partners, to know the gist of it, but still, neither you nor the Doctor actually knew all the steps. So, you missed a couple steps, and ran into each other awkwardly once or twice, but it was all laughs.  

Others around you joined in on the laughing—not at you, but with you—like everyone knew the two of you had no idea what you were doing. Like they knew you weren’t from around here- and maybe they did?

The music to the song you were dancing too faded off, and everyone gave the band a round of applause before laughter broke out once more. It was just so light, and refreshing. Generally happy. Just what you needed after the past few days.  

What you didn’t know you needed, but really did.  

You didn’t feel as drained anymore, not when your hand was still locked in the Doctors as the two of you joined the crowd in cheers for your own dancing. Prideful at being a part of the dance, and keeping those watching entertained.

The band didn’t stay quiet for long, and before you knew it the guitar look alike and what almost sounded like a keyboard was playing a slow song.  

You watched as couples joined together, swaying to the slow song. Some people watched, smiling along, happy on the sidelines, while others found themselves a partner to take onto the makeshift dance floor.

It was getting dark now—you'd arrived later in the evening, but you were sure it was at least midnight at this point. Most of the kids had left at some point, and it was mostly adults here now.  

The moon was casting gentle rays down on you, and you stared in awe at the starry sky above.  

It was beautiful. Possibly even prettier than earth’s view. Maybe.  

It was clear above you, not a cloud in sight, making the twinkling stars even nicer.  

“Care to dance?” You turned to look up at the Doctor, looking up from his lips to his honest eyes. He was still holding your hand, but his other hand lifted from his side, reaching out in front of him as an offering.

You couldn’t help but let your other hand fall into his, as a familiar blush lit up your cheeks. You weren’t going to say no to the Doctor, especially not when he had such a fond look in his eyes. Not that you’d ever pass on the offer even if his eyes weren’t twinkling adorningly in the moonlight.  

“I’d love too.”

He pulled you close, following suit with everyone else lost in their dancing. It was fairly generic slow dance; the mixer had been the planet’s own version on something similar you had on earth, but it was hard to change up a slow dance. It was all proximity, really.  

You let your arms settle around his neck, as his hands fell to your waist.  

You swayed together to the music. Getting lost in the notes being played, and each other all the same. There really was nothing better than being curled in the Doctor’s arms. It didn’t happen often—not like this, at least.  

It was usually little, subtle touches from the man-- a hand on your shoulder to ground you, or him grasping at your own hand as he steered you out of danger on some unknown planet.  

You let your cheek settle against his chest, smiling as your eyes slipped shut.  

He didn’t stop swaying the two of you, instead keeping you going as you let him take full control. His thumbs brushed smooth lines up and down the curve of your sides.

“This is nice,” you whispered, just loud enough for him, and no one else, to hear. You felt him nod against you, where his chin had been resting on the top of your head.  

“It is,” his voice was soft, “I’m glad you had fun.”

“Thank you,” you looked up at him with tired, hooded eyes.  

You didn’t need to add anything more, because you knew he understood. You knew he knew what you were thanking him for—for taking you away to somewhere peaceful like this, where the two of you could just be, undisturbed.

He returned your smile, giving you a shallow nod as a reply instead of answering. He didn’t have to reply, not when his eyes said it all. This was just as much a get away from him, as it was for you.

You let your ear fall back against his chest, and his grip around your waist pulled you just a little bit closer to him before he carried on with the smooth sways of your bodies.  

You’d never really thought you could enjoy dancing in the moonlight as much as you were. It had always seemed so out of reach-- something you only saw in movies, or on TV. A romantic action that connected people, which always seemed... unrealistic.  

So far away.

But you understood it now.  

You were sure nothing would ever give you the same fuzzy butterfly feeling igniting in your chest as you looked up at him, catching him staring down at you. As your eyes connect and a soft, fond smile curls onto the Doctor’s lips.  

You’d never forget this. Dancing in the moonlight with one of the most important people in your life.  

<><><><>

Hopefully you enjoyed! I wasn’t sure how to go about the dancing, but like I said before the fic, it’s probably heavily influenced by Tangled, so credit to Disney for that!

Thank you for taking the time to read, and as always, feel free to send me another ask if it wasn’t what you were looking for! Have a good morning/afternoon/night, whenever this happens to find you!

[hawkss-whore]

(pic credit: found on pinterest)

College AU (TW, ANGST)

!TW!: mention of sexual assault, sexual harassment & degrading yourself such as referring to yourself as an object or toy

College was going great. Well, for the most part. You just hated all the stupid drama and rumors about you. Or I guess they’re not necessarily rumors if they’re true right? Anyways, college has been filled with lots and i mean lots of sex.

You could say you had a new partner every day. Sometimes you’d have multiple in a day. Was it degrading? A little but I mean it was fun. You got the usual praise after every hook up.

r/n: God y/n your body is incredible. You are a true beauty you know that?

y/n: Mhmmm *got dressed*

r/n: I don’t think I’ll ever fuck a girl as pretty and who has as good a body as yours

y/n: Sure darling, anyways I gotta get going can’t be late to my class

r/n: Bye sexy

You rushed over to your class, putting on your shoes as you ran. You tried fixing your hair as best you could, geez did he really have to be so rough with your hair? It’s so obvious you just had sex.

You walked into class (late) and sat down. The lecture had already started so you were behind. You looked beside you and say someone familiar. It was a guy you had also at some point had sex with.

y/n: Pretty please can you take notes for me? I’m a bit tired and I’ve already missed the beginning of the lecture

*he nodded his head, looking like an excited puppy*

y/n: Oh my god you’re such a doll thank you so much *kisses cheek*

You then laid back, trying to still figure out what to do with your hair. As you were putting it up in a ponytail you felt like someone was watching you. You turn behind you and in the far left corner you see some spiky haired guy staring at you. He probably wants to fuck you thought. Whatever, I'm too exhausted today.

After the class was over you were surrounded by guys on your way out. They were tantalizing you. Saying the usual things like “let me get a piece of that,” “let me suck those amazing tits,” and “I'll give you the answers if you suck my dick.” You were used to this so you ignored them and kept walking. Eventually, they left you alone. I guess they got bored since you didn’t give a reaction. You were turning a corner when suddenly someone grabbed your arm and pulled you.

y/n: Hey what the fuck is your problem??

But then you realized who it was. It was that spiky kid from earlier.

y/n: What? You wanna fuck me or something? Well sucks because i’m not in the mood today

Bakugou: That’s no- Is that really all you expect of guy?

y/n: I mean yeah, I have yet to see otherwise

Bakugou: Well thats not why I wanted to talk to you

y/n: Sure uh huh look drop the act, don’t act sweet just to get some pussy. I’d actually rather you tell me you want to fuck me

Bakugou: What? I already told you I don’t want to fuc-

y/n: So then why are you wasting my time? Is that all?

Bakugou: No I wanted to as-

y/n: Alright bye

Bakugou: Wait!

You kept walking.

Bakugou: Fine, when and where

y/n: Oh? Showing your true colors now are we? How about you tell me your name? I need to know who I’m gonna fuck

Bakugou: It’s Bakugou

y/n: Alright Bakugou, my dorm at 8 don’t be late or your spot will be taken *blows kiss* Bye

You were exhausted. You decided to take a nap before showering. You woke up after 3 hours. Shit, I really knocked out. You got up and went to shower. You started thinking about this spiky haired kid. What was his name? Right! Bakugou, weird name. Wonder what he’ll be like in bed. Guess i’ll find out soon enough.

You got dressed. You wore some shorts with a tank top. Don’t need to be too dressed up if you’re just gonna fuck him. Suddenly you hear a knock at your door. He’s here already? You open the door and see it is him. You tell him to come in.

y/n: Sit on the bed, don’t be shy

Bakugou sits in the edge of the bed. He had his gaze in the floor, not looking at you.

y/n: Alright do you wanna start with kissing or jump straight into the se-

Bakugou: Why

y/n: Excuse me?

Bakugou: Why do you do this?

y/n: Sex? Bevause I get pleasure from it obviously

Bakugou: No, why do you let them use you like that? Not every guy wants you just for your body you know that? You’re more than just your body

y/n: Look, I don’t know where this suddenly came from but if we’re gonna have sex let’s get it over with

Bakugou: Do you think that little of yourself?

y/n: What..?

Bakugou: You heard me

y/n: And what if I do? The fuck that got to do with you huh?

Bakugou: Why do you do that?

y/n: You really wanna know why? Fine, I'll tell you. It’s because that’s the only time I feel seen, the only time I feel attractive. That’s the only way any guy has ever pictured me, as an object, a toy they can play with. Do you know the amount of times I've been sexually assaulted? God even from the age of 10! That’s all I'm good for. It’s the only thing I'm useful for.

Bakugou: That’s not true

y/n: Really?! Says fucking who??

Bakugou: Me, I think you’re more than just your body

y/n: Liar, i’m sure you’ve thought of fucking me

Bakugou: I haven’t

y/n: You’re lying

Bakugou: I’m not, I know you’re more than just that. You’re strong, resilient, independent, and beautiful

y/n: Oh don’t fucking joke with me. You’re trying to make a fool out of me

Bakugou: I’m not, I am being honest

y/n: Just shut up okay! I don’t need to hear your lies

You collapse on your floor. Your legs just give out on you. You start crying. The tears just flowing out of your eyes. And you had no way of stopping them, they just kept coming out. Bakugou then sits next to you and pulls you into a hug. He holds you as you drench his shirt with your tears.

Bakugou: Y/n, you’re beautiful and you are more than your body. I promise you that you are. I see the pain in your eyes, I know you’ve been through a lot and I'm sorry you have. But please, take care of yourself, do what’s best for you. If you ever doubt your worth I will be here to remind you. Every single day.

[leejungchans]

— unexpected.

🆕 ask juliet anything!! | juliet’s masterlist

word count: 2.1k

warning(s): mentions of self-doubt, insecurities and intrusive thoughts; someone says some pretty harsh words to juliet here but nothing extreme

disclaimer: please keep in mind that the trainer mentioned in this is a completely fictional character hence why his name is never mentioned!!

set in june 2019; a few days after ateez’s first win for wave

summary: in which the boys help juliet when she gets a message from someone who she never expected, nor wants, to see again.

a/n: putting juliet in a bit of Pain™️ here 😔 as always, you are always welcome to leave feedback or chat with me!! 💕💕

As Seonghwa clears away the dishes after dinner, he notices Juliet curled up on the sofa with her phone in hand. Normally, he wouldn’t think much of it, given the other members are doing the same as they lounge around the living room. But one look at the maknae’s grave expression tells him that something is wrong.

Jongho, who’s been helping Seonghwa take the plates into the kitchen, catches him staring and follows his gaze. The two silently watch as Juliet types something on her phone before furiously tapping on the screen to delete whatever she wrote with a frustrated sigh, her long acrylic nails creating a crisp tapping noise. This draws the attention of the other six boys as they all turn to look at her with concern, though she doesn’t seem to notice from being so focused on her phone.

“Minyoungie, is everything okay?” Hongjoong finally asks, sitting up from his spot on the ground.

“Hm? Oh, yeah. I’m fine, don’t worry,” she reassures with a stiff smile, but it’s evident that something is clearly bothering her.

The leader gets up to sit next to her on the couch. “Do you want to talk about it? Or do you want some time to yourself first?”

Juliet contemplates his question for a few seconds before speaking again. “It’s nothing serious, I guess,” she admits, “but one of my former trainers at SM messaged me just before dinner asking me to meet up with him, and I don’t know how to respond.”

“Oh,” Hongjoong says. The mention of her former company causes the others to pay full attention to their conversation, knowing how unpleasant her experiences with a few of her former trainers were though she never talked about such incidents in detail. “Do you want to, though?”

“No,” Juliet responds immediately, expression turning cold. “Not now, probably not ever.”

“What happened with him?” Wooyoung asks before quickly adding, “you don’t have to tell us if you don’t want to.”

Juliet sighs, stuffing her phone into the pocket of her hoodie before hugging her knees to her chest. “No, no. I think it’s about time I told you guys what happened exactly, I guess I never did because it felt like there was never a right time to bring him up, and also because it feels stupid to talk about it when I haven’t seen him in years, and have no intention of changing that.”

Wooyoung pats her knee comfortingly. “Tell us however much you’re okay with,” he says with a gentle smile, “you don’t have to go into full detail if you don’t want to.”

Juliet pants heavily when the music stops, crouching down to catch her breath desperately while cursing the horrible cold she’s been dealing with for the past few days.

She just knows everyone noticed how her movements have gotten more sluggish with every time they go over the dance, and the humiliation sears through her body like a raging fire.

Someone—she can’t see who and is too dizzy to even turn her head in that direction to check—comes up from behind to rub her back soothingly as her chest continues to heave from exhaustion.

“Five minutes,” the gruff voice of their dance trainer says, and the group of girls instantly scramble to where their water bottles are lined up neatly against the wall. “Baek Minyoung, not you.”

At the sound of her name, Juliet looks up to see the man crooking a finger, motioning for her to walk over to where he is in a secluded corner of the practice room. Shakily, she stands up as the other girls murmur quiet encouragements, though they quickly leave her side from the glare the man sends towards them.

Juliet knows that no amount of mental preparation is enough when it comes to this particular trainer, and it makes her heart sink deeper and deeper with every step she takes towards him.

Her head is bowed when he starts speaking, not daring to look into his flaring eyes. “What’s wrong with you?” the man wastes no time in asking accusingly. “Did you think I wouldn’t notice how terrible your dancing has gotten these few days? Do you think slackers have a place here? You looked like a dying slug out there.”

“No, Sir. I’m sorry. I’m not trying to slack off, I have a cold, which is why—”

“I’m not interested in hearing your excuses,” he cuts her off icily. “Do you know what idols do when they get sick? They keep pushing. And that’s the complete opposite of what you’re doing.”

“I understand. I’m really sorry. I will do better,” Juliet replies softly, voice barely above a whisper, hoping that he’ll let her off easy.

But today is not her lucky day. The sound of a dry chuckle sends chills down her spine.

“Do you want to know something?” She doesn’t. In fact, she dreads knowing. But something tells her she doesn’t have the luxury of choosing, so she continues to keep her head down and tries to zero in on her shoes to hold back her tears.

She can feel the weight of everyone’s stares on her back, and she wants nothing more than to disappear into thin air.

“There were discussions about adding you to Red Velvet along with Yeri. A few people thought you were too young, others saw potential in you,” the trainer sneers. “Personally, I don’t see any of that, and I’m glad that they ultimately did not debut you, because all I see is an ungrateful, lazy brat.”

Juliet bites down harder on the inside of her cheeks to keep the tears at bay, and it doesn’t take long for her to taste iron.

“You better go back there and get your crap sorted out. Because if I see you not being up to par with the others again, I will not hesitate to go to the higher-ups with this, then you can kiss your future in this industry goodbye. Am I clear?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Look at me when you answer.”

Juliet swears she’s never seen so much hatred and disdain in someone’s eyes until the moment their eyes meet. And it takes everything in her not to burst into tears as she repeats her response in a trembling voice.

The man scoffs, dismissing her with a wave of his hand as though batting away an insect before clapping his hands together to gain the others’ attention.

“Break’s over! Let’s hope some of you actually know what you’re doing this time,” he says scornfully, blissfully ignorant of the fact that every word he said feels like another stab to her heart.

When Juliet looks up at her reflection in the mirror, she barely recognised herself from how hollow and empty her gaze looks, a far cry from the girl who started her journey as a trainee with starry eyes and a fiery passion.

What had she become? is the last thought that comes to mind before the music starts again, and she can only hope that she can make it through the rest of the session without making a mistake or collapsing.

“So... that’s basically what happened,” Juliet chokes out, leaning her head back as she blinks back tears. To be honest, she had to give herself credit for getting through that story without crying, knowing that that incident in particular instilled a new, and much more profound, sense of fear and self-doubt within her. “You can now probably see why I don’t want to meet with him.”

San comes to sit on the armrest of the couch so he can wrap his arms around the girl. “I’m so sorry that happened, but I’m glad you’re not in that situation anymore.”

“Yeah, me too,” Juliet chuckles bitterly, still not meeting any of the boys’ eyes by looking down at her hands. “I don’t think I’ve been the same since then. I mean, not that it’s completely his fault because there were so many contributing factors, but... I’ve never looked at myself so negatively until that day... it suddenly felt like I was the only person who couldn’t see how utterly worthless I was... I don’t know.”

“But what did he text you?” Despite the anger he feels for this man for hurting her in such a way, Seonghwa still manages to stay levelheaded.

Juliet takes her phone out to reread the message. “He said he was watching M Countdown a few days ago and recognised me when we got our first win. He congratulated me and apologised for everything he said to me when I was at SM. Then he asked me if I wanted to meet with him for lunch.”

“But how did he get your number?” Yeosang wonders out loud, frowning deeply. “That’s kinda creepy.”

The girl shrugs. “Who knows? I don’t know what he’s up to now, but he likely still has contacts in the industry and asked around for my number.”

Wooyoung scoffs. “The fact that he only reached out now shows he’s probably not that apologetic, since he’s the one who implied he remembers everything he’s said to you. If he really felt guilty, he would’ve made use of those contacts of his to reach out to you to apologise a lot earlier.”

“That’s what I thought,” Juliet agrees. “The fact that he texted me right after our first win doesn’t seem like a coincidence.”

Mingi huffs. “Maybe just tell him to get lost or something. He’s not worth the time.”

“If she isn’t an idol, she can cuss him out all she wants. But if like you said,” Hongjoong muses thoughtfully, turning back to Juliet, “and he’s either still in the industry or has contacts, then you can’t be too rude to him in case he tries to use it against you to paint you as some villain. You know how some people are.”

The others nod defeatedly. He has a point.

“Then... what do we do? We can’t let her go meet with him,” San says, his arms subconsciously holding Juliet a little tighter protectively.

“Of course not,” the leader assures, “I think the best course of action is to thank him for congratulating you, accept his apology—even if you don’t really want to, it can just be for show—and politely decline his invitation because your schedule is full.”

Juliet hesitates. “But what if he says that I’m lying to get out of it?”

“I mean, it’s not really a lie,” Yunho points out. “Our tour is coming up soon and we’re gonna be busy practising for it, so it really is the truth that you don’t have the time to see him. Plus, you don’t owe him anything, who cares if he thinks you’re lying or not?”

Juliet nods slowly, fingers hovering over the keyboard as she tries to think of a response, but her mind is so overwhelmed from the sudden message and the memories that nothing comes up.

“Do you want me to help you type it?” Seonghwa asks tenderly after a while of watching her struggle to formulate anything.

“Yes, please,” Juliet says immediately, visibly relieved as she pushes her phone into Seonghwa’s hand. The oldest member cocks his head to the side while he thinks before typing something down.

A few moments later, he hands her back her phone. “Here. If you’re okay with this, then you can send it to him.”

The other boys crowd around Juliet so they can all read the message Seonghwa typed out. When done, she looks up at Hongjoong for confirmation.

“It’s good, I think,” he says approvingly. “It’s short and concise, polite but not too friendly or curt so there’s no way it can be taken out of context in case it somehow gets leaked.”

Juliet nods, pressing on the “send” button with bated breath. The moment she sends the message, she feels as though a huge weight has been lifted off her, having spent the whole time during dinner silently stressing over how she should respond to the point where she could barely get down her food.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” she says, leaping off the sofa to throw her arms around Seonghwa’s neck. “I wouldn’t know what to do if it wasn’t for you guys. I actually contemplated pretending he had the wrong number or even meeting with him once so he’d leave me alone after that,” she admits, “but I’m glad you stepped in before I did either of those things.”

“And I’m glad you told us about this so we could work through it together,” Seonghwa smiles, stroking the girl’s head. “You don’t have to struggle with these things alone.”

“Now that we took care of that jerk, I think we should order chicken to celebrate!”

Seonghwa looks at the younger boy in disbelief. “Yeosang, we literally just had dinner!”

Juliet laughs. “It’s okay, there’s always room for chicken! Besides, I’m paying this time as a thank you!”

“In that case, who am I to complain?”

a/n: that incident was a pretty huge turning point for juliet in terms of her mental health. she already doesn’t feel confident in herself as most trainees are, but to hear from someone directly that she didn’t get to debut because she was apparently all those horrible things made a lasting impact on her, and since then she’s felt even more horrible about herself :( but she’s gotten a lot better at managing those feelings now and of course she has the support of the boys!!