#like i know its a symptom but cmon.

[pyrriax]

yk what i just realized?

i accidentally wrote pandora with a slightly altered version of my issues pvnjkdml

i noticed it but not All of it

[greywritesthings]

Quiet

Spencer Reid x Dissabled!Reader

Reader has Functional Neurological Disorder (FND) / Non-Epileptic Attack Disorder (NEAD)

Fluff

A/N; I personally have both the conditions in this so the described seizure experience is based of my own seizures, what spencer does during a seizure is what you should do during a seizures but for actual seizure first aid tips / instructions look here its specifically for epilepsy but also works for non epileptic seizures. I may do more of a specific post on my own conditions not in a story format.

SR masterlist

masterlist

Read on Ao3!

“You okay today love? You seem quiet” Penelope asks you. “I'm fine pen don't worry, just think I've got a migraine coming on I'm going to go hide out in my office.” you assure her and walk over towards Rossi’s old office. Hotch had offered it to you and Reid to share when he had retired, knowing the darker and quieter room would help your migraines but Hotch knew you wouldn't want to be alone given the risk of seizures. 

You were technically in the field but didn't stray from the police stations and were paired with a team member at all times, oftentimes it was JJ or Spencer. You didn't have seizures when you first started at the BAU. They had started after you had been sent into a building that had been cleared by SWAT but when you opened the cupboards it had been rigged with a small explosive connected to the outside water heater. Leading to the death of three agents and Functional Neurological Disorder for you. Hotch had offered you retirement or the half in half out field option providing you were cleared by your doctor and you took the latter, not ready to retire at twenty eight. 

It wasn't just the seizures they were just the most prominent symptom, you had dystonia, muscle weakness, paralysis and balance issues. As a result you used different mobility aids depending on the day from a wheelchair to a cane, penelope had given you some colourful canes as a christmas gift the year you started using them. Mentally it was tough but it got easier seeing how no one from the team batted an eyelid. Morgan, Hotch and Rossi all helped to convert the cottage you had brought just before the accident to make it wheelchair friendly. Spencer let you stay at his as the elevator worked in his apartment building while that was being done. Hotch also made sure the office was converted slightly to be accessible to you, removing the steps in the office and turning them into a low ramp. Spencer knew something was up when you stood up and nearly fell straight over your own feet, so he decided to head up to his office to see what was up. He grew more worried when you paused mid way through shuffling files and quickly realised it was the sign of an impending seizure. Rushing over to the door he pushes it open and strides across the room to grab both your shoulders for when you did fall. You looked up at him but you didn't quite look anywhere, you always looked very far away and your pupils were blown wide right before a seizure began, he knew that but it didn't make it any less scary.  “Allright, to the floor sweetheart cmon.” he gently pulls you towards the floor as your hand starts twitching, another indication a seizure is imminent. Once he had you on the floor and on your side he pulled his jacket off to place under your head. “Alright honey I've got you it's okay.” He moves the hair out of your face as the seizure takes hold. He glances at his watch to make a note of the time before going back to comfort you again.

For you the post seizure experience was the worst, you woke up aching from head to toe, often had dislocations in various joints, your memory was foggy at best and you woke up to unfamiliar faces and surroundings on multiple occasions. You also woke up to the taste of iron from biting your tongue. You had choked on your own blood post seizure after people had just left you on your back. 

It wasn't like that with Spencer however, sure the fogginess was still there, the dislocations and the blood but he didn't let you panic as you woke up. He kept you in place so you didn't displace anything further. “Okay sweetheart, It's just me alright, it's just Spencer, we are just in our office i've got you.” You relaxed back against him, exhaustion taking over you. “I'm going to just put your joints back in and put you on the sofa okay darling?” He learnt how to relocate most of the joints that could easily dislocate so he could do it for you post seizure. 

He sat in front of the sofa as he read while you slept just in case you seized again. He had pulled the blinds and text Hotch what had happened so no one would come in to say goodbye like normal. 

Once you did wake and Spencer had deemed you okay enough to walk with him to the car you headed home together, him driving you. He had taken to giving you lifts since your diagnosis, the others also offered, Garcia and Hotch especially but more often than not you ended up in Spencer's car with your aids folded into the trunk. 

You ended up back at your place given it was all one floor and it was entirely suited to your needs. No matter how much you insisted you were fine now he practically ordered you to sit on the couch and find a movie while he found stuff for dinner. 

Once he finally joined you on the sofa with an edible meal, you settled in together watching history documentaries and foreign films you couldn't really understand but Spencer explained to you. Eventually you ended up with his arm resting around you with your head on his chest as you both fell asleep.

[is-your-blorbo-neurodivergent]

does he have borderline personality disorder and substance abuse disorder?

submit your own characters here to be featured!

reasons under the cut - tw for substance abuse

reason: Anxiety cause look at him. I know it's cause hes a coke addict, but those jitters and anxious stimming and constant sense of danger cant just be from the coke- he's just like that, all the time. Depression for similar-ish reasons, he's literally never content with his situation and almost definitely started seeking out drugs as a way to give him temporary joy or to make the numbness feel purposeful/in his control. Again, substance abuse disorder is basically canon- never explicitly stated but its HEAVILY implied that he's addicted to the drugs and alcohol he takes.

The psychosis isn't AS implied in canon, but its a pretty easy headcanon to come to when theres scenes of him manically talking to himself, talking himself through conversations, believing he's both above the law and that everyone is out to get him, etc. His canon paranoia could easily be interpreted as specifically psychotic/delusional paranoia (I also just personally kinda like the idea that he hallucinates sensations or voices? for no particular reason, I can just imagine it)

the BPD is cause he literally fits all the symptoms. Abandonment issues (severe ones- he hates his dad but is so fucking terrified of losing him or being hated back), impulsivity (cmon.), drastic mood swings (again- cmon.), none of his relationships are stable (even the one with his drug dealer-), complete lack of trust (other than... his drug dealer?), severe anger problems, even some vaguely suicidal behaviours and a SHIT TONNE of self-destructive behaviours.

He also definitely has something else going drastically wrong with his mental health (hes constantly seeking validation, is super erratic, has... just so much trauma, has violent outbursts, strange ideas of his own skills and how the world works, repetition of strange phrases (eg; "I'm a proactive type of person"), etc etc etc), but I don't know what it is, but the boy has so much illness in his brain- someone force him into therapy, I beg- or at least force him to actually medicate himself in a way that isn't just another avenue of self-destruction

*this character was also submitted for anxiety, depression, and psychosis. this was featured in the previous poll.

submitted by @rotteneldritchhorror

[2n2n]

i know we're all waiting for tsukasa to full on sob at some point (cmon let the girlie cry,,,) which made me wonder! what sorta things do you think could make him start crying? hes so.... easygoing/takes everything in his stride that im really curious lol

I think Tsukasa is an unconventional sort of person, so I think along the lines of what he does and doesn't experience, what he does and doesn't expect...

Tsukasa has never been afraid to die, so things that seem scary, dangerous, especially to children, usually don't do anything, and never have.

He's used to people calling him annoying, or weird or crazy, or wishing he would go away. So that sort of thing doesn't phase him. Another day being Tsukasa.

He's even used to the concept of being hated...

If you asked me… I think the opposite of all of that could make Tsukasa cry... like....

Amane finally being direct, and telling him "I love you", or describing his importance, or the things he loves about him-- I don't think Tsukasa is ready to hear something like that... I don't know if he conceptualizes it.

Perhaps, in the same vein, Nene-chan feeling openly sad for him, I don't think he would expect. Nene-chan being kind and friendly towards him, maybe, or wanting to get to know him, or wishing things could be better, or expressing that she doesn't want him to die, or observing that he's lonely … nobody outside of Amane and Tsukasa have really observed what goes on between them, and Amane doesn't share his thoughts much. Nene-chan could offer unique perspective he's not able to imagine on his own. I feel that could touch him.

I think about … the chronically ill brother in Takase-Bune who only sees himself as a burden… who kills himself to free his brother from their sorry life… so that at least one of them can have a chance at something...

or the scorpion in Night on the Galactic Railroad, whos life has only hurt others, and so, it wants its death to provide joy to others at last…

Because AidaIro-sensei have referenced both of these things, and even particularly drawn Tsukasa as the scorpius constellation…explicitly the remorseful, now burning scorpion... mm … how often has anyone really offered praise and adoration to Tsukasa? Been grateful for him? Thanked him just for being there, being alive? Amane is famously so bad at it.

Not only things AidaIro have referenced... but the past story they made, Narisokonai Snow White, I think about that too...

in that story, two twins are born into servitude-- one to be a princess's servant, the other, to be a scholar, and keeper of the kingdom's crazy knowledge of poisons. From a young age, he's doing nothing but reading about the effects of poisons, so you get a very unconventional boy... and eventually, a person all too accustomed to the idea of suffering, death, terrible symptoms, and yet completely and utterly devoid of conventional childhood memories. The princess of the story expresses things such as, that she would be sad, when he goes away (really, he plans to kill himself...).... more than he believes he deserves. The princess's pity and sympathy touches his heart.

Tsukasa was already a strange child, and then, the Red House alters his perception of 'life' and 'value'-- what has 'value'? Whatever people individually feel. People exchange all kinds of things, for all kinds of reasons ... people are willing to lose something to gain something else, people scale the importance of things nonsensically. I think that sort of peek into people's hearts, would break down your idea of what it means to be "special", what life itself is "for". A sort of coin to exchange for something else. Tsukasa saw himself as something like that. I think humans have an inscrutable value system ... so Tsukasa seems to have an ungrounded sense of importance or unimportance to life, a lack of appropriate response to any of it. Is it sad when someone dies? Sometimes, but not always. Sometimes nobody liked you, sometimes you made other's life worse, sometimes you just weren't regarded at all. I'm sure he saw many selfish and crude exchanges in the Red House, and people desperate for something or other. Some lives worth losing your mind over, some lives worth less than nothing.

In light of that, it's obvious why the idea of Amane KILLING HIM, AND THEN THROWING AWAY HIS OWN LIFE is an INTOXICATING concept. ... asking for, what, nothing at all? Why would he do that? That isn't an 'exchange' of anything. Of course he has to observe for himself, why Amane would do that ...

In my mind, it seems like the most likely thing to finally throw him off would be his own value or presence spelled out …

you could threaten Tsukasa, you could hate Tsukasa, you could kill Tsukasa, and he would be fine with that, he would understand why you want to do that, he is very familiar with people hating another, wanting someone gone, wishing life could be easier...

but I don't know if he could understand how beloved he can be to anyone, really …

[owlets-outlet]

apparently a kdrama with a female autistic lead came out?? so my autistic ass is gonna watch it and let you know how good it is.

ok so first of all. i feel like this is the first kdrama with an autistic lead ever??? and she´s female too??? LOVE. IT. i am also not expecting perfect rep tho, because its... a kdrama. cmon.

episode 1:

things i disliked:

-first and foremost: the whole “oh no, shes autistic :(( horrible news for me as a dad...” thing is just not the vibe. props to him being a loving father tho

-the whole autistic genius thing is overdone by now

-her geniality somehow “made it better to bear” that shes autistic?? mm

-she´s played by a neurotypical actress. i personally dont care that much, especially considering that SK is a small country and its hard to look for autistic actors, but still

-she´s very much the autistic stereotype that we all know. again, nothing i hate too much, because the fact that theres an autistic female lead in a kdrama is a huge step

-occassionally in the outro graphics and in some of the soundtrack, there are elements of infantilization. guys pls dont play silly music while the mc is forced to relive childhood trauma and her personal space is being violently invaded by an angry, screaming man, thank you.

-this one im conflicted about: ocd like symptoms. yes, autistic people do sometimes who them, but sometimes autistic people have ocd as a separate disorder. also its a stereotypical symptom. but its okay i guess.

things i liked:

-the story is told through her perspective. we also get her narration sometimes, revealing that she is a three dimensional person, just cant express some parts outwardly.

-ramblessssss! theyre p good actually

-she is her own person, capable of making her own decisions and doesnt need saving. she is capable of expressing and communicating her needs. (unless shes having a meltdown, or overstimulated. many people on the spectrum cant, and thats okay, but im glad she has agency, ok,it doesnt happen often in media) only needs support when things get unbearable. very nice.

-law isn´t her special interest, whales are! many shows make the persons special interest their whole personality, glad they branched out lol

-accurate representation of overstimulation and anxiety in public spaces

-connected to the last point, her coping mechanisms and stims are accurate to real life and relatable: noise cancel headphones with white noise, pacing when stressed to ground herself, finger stimming...

-stims actually dont look a caricature!! even though they´re basic and stereotypical, they are real and not overexaggerated

-represents sensory issues well, they arent basic, but personalized to her, which is great! for example: her dad removes all tags from her clothes bcs they bother her, she has a specific safe food (bibimbap)

-lack of empathy is handled well too. she uses logic to determine how others may feel, but it is shown that its something she had to learn! very good

-also!! she. has emotions, just doesnt express them the way other people would!!

-a big one: THE VISUAL REPRESENTATION OF HER INSIDE WORLD ISNT TRIGGERING TO ME. it still may be to some people, but, unlike the music movie (ew), it isnt bright, flashing and fast paced: its flowing, with neutral, soft colors and calm noises

-her and her best friend are the perfect adhd and autism solidarity

-her aversion to touch seems to be handled well so far: she learns to tolerate it, not like it (thank god), for the sake of comforting other people (not to please them, but only when needed)

-its a kdrama. shes getting a love interest. an autistic person being treated as an adult?? with a love interest?? DAMN (the bar is on the floor, huh)

i will update this as i make my way further through the episodes, but im cautiously optimistic so far!

[gutlesh]

Day 7 tolerance break

10am

Woke up a while ago with w/d symptoms: stomach/guts hurting, muscle aches. I seem to have some energy/anxiety coming back bc i was driven to do some little admin tasks (renewing library books, filling out timesheet) that ive been putting off for a week.

I'm not looking forward to dealing with the GI symptoms since im gonna be out of the house for most of today at a pride event somewhere new to me. I'll bring some tylenol with me and not eat anything crazy and hope for the best? There might also be a party i go to so I'm not sure how that will be re:substances, it's advertised as all ages so i guess it won't be too substance heavy. If its too rough i will just leave meep. It's a 2 hour trip home so i'll have 2 leave kinda early anyways.

I should also bring stuff to help me sensory/autism cope. Headphones, stim toy, familiar snacks, gum, sunglasses. Maybe i should wear sunscreen we'll probably be outside a while. At least it wont be very hot today :')

Ah besides the worries im excited to hang out w the person who invited me and get to know him better, and i'm really curious about what this event will be like bc ive never been to a pride parade or any other event by indigenous ppl. Part of me is worried abt offending people and while thats well intentioned i know its the sjw brainwashing lol as long as i am chill and nice and follow the lead of people around me im sure it will be fine. And if i mess up i can trust the ppl around me to tell me and ill fix it bc i am a mature adult who can take criticism, and being criticised or hurting other ppls feelings doesnt make me a bad person it just means i made a mistake which everyone does. How would i even know everything abt being indigenous when i'm not. Lol. God tumblr interacted so badly with my morality ocd i'm still undoing the damage 10 years on 😔😔 sometimes i wish i grew up like more normal but id just be messed up in some other way lbr

Anyway!!!! Im gonna dress up in a cute lil goth girl fit and itll be fun and ill meet cool people and probably hear cool music and eat new food and get to know this sick dood who i wanna kiss hehehehe. And i will NOT shit myself. Manifesting it 😤😤😤🙏🙏 w/d switching from constipation to diarrhea was such a dirty move like girl cmon im not even going away forever just takin some space i still love u miss mary jane u dont have to do all this 😩

[perpetually-sad-but-its-fine]

10x14 of chicago pd

TRIGGER WARNING: CHILD ABUSE IS A THEME THROUGHOUT THIS EPISODE BUT IT IS NOT MENTIONED THROUGHOUT THIS CRACK REVIEW. ALSO MENTIONS OF PTSD AND PANICK ATTACKS. READ ONLY IF COMFORTABLE.

aww domestic burzek

makayla!!!

aw shes so cute

FUCK NO

COME ON

im not even kidding

it hasn't even been a full minute since the episode started

and its already pain

poor kim

my poor girl

aw adam taking charge

nO STOP

IM CRYING

stop it

please

god

this is too much

oh mY GOD SHES IN THERAPY

YES

THANK YOU LORD

THANK YOU

THANK YOU

god no these flashbacks

‘ive dealt with it. ive been fine.’

that's a fuckin lie

such a fuckin lie

dont lie kim

god this is so much pain

awww

kim referring to makayla as her daughter is just amazing

i love to hear it

god this therapist is just BRICKING all of the symptoms

wow

so nice to hear

kim be honest

please

this will help you

adammmm

please i want them back together

OH GOD GUNSHOT

god my heart is racing

somethings gonna go wrong

something is so gonna go wrong

oh no

he gon die

he so gon die

lady

try to help

i fuckin knew something would happen

we can't have ONE episode

not one

OH KIM

NO

nope

he dead

great

lights out

lovely

just great

oh this lovely man.

hes great

I barely even know him

but hes great

adam

dont do something stupid

dont get hurt

please

i can't handle it

god

this guy is gonna die

before kim gets any info

and shes gonna feel guilty

he gon die

ik it

GOD NO

HER SHAKING HAND

COVERED IN BLOOD

GODDAMMIT

NO

THE GUNSHOTS

KIM

PLEASE

MY POOR GIRL

LEAVE HER ALONE DAMMIT

AND KEEP ADAM SAFE

god im too weak for this

i can't handle it

KIM

PLEASE

MY BABY

PLEASE

STOP IT

STOP

STOP

STOP

god

im dying

adammmmmmmm

save your girl

KIM

PLEASE

nooooooo

STOP

kim and adam

my babies

my loves

my BABIES

STOP IT

GOD FUCKIN DAMMIT

STOP

STOP THIS HURT

oh poor girl

my poor baby

god shes COVERED in blood

kim

please

just fuckin take care of yourself

please

dont do something stupid

TRUDYYYY

also

nobody believes you kim

nobody believes that youre okay

cuz youre not

no torres?

aw

dammit

kim why would you do this

why must you hurt yourself like this

HOW CAN YOU KEEP HURTING ME DAMMIT

chicago pd writers pay for my therapy challenge

please

yay dead body

im feeling sorry for the dead guy

oh joy

bloody clothes and the look on kim’s face

honey

why do you do this to yourself??

why

oop she found something

what is it??

ayyy the team’s here

jamie’s uncle???

bruh what???

where's the explanation

im scared

please let them be okay

‘chicago pd. get up.’

so nice of him

if someone were to wake me up in the middle of the night like that

id either slap them

or scream

lady

cmon

dont lie

kim looks close to crying

and im right along with her

ayyy minnesota

kim what did you find

oop

ineteresting

oh my god

this is so interesting

im very invested

something about the way kev says ‘no ma’am’ does something to me

THEY BOTH LOOK SO GOOD IN THEIR BLACKOUT GEAR

ayyy its the patrol buddies

kev and cruz just looking at Kim while shes moving the thing

peak comedy honestly

damn

kim’s just connecting all of the dots today

WHAT THE FUCK

oh lovely

this is fucking great

yknow what's funny to me?

in like, the first three seasons

voight didn't give a damn about whether someone asked for their lawyers or not

but season 10 voight

suddenly has a goddamn moral compass

and while its great character development

i also find it funny when he deems someone ‘immoral’

when he used to be

the fucking DEFINITION 

of immoral

moving on

hailey looks so good oh my god

oh poor jamie

burzek my loves

do they ever get their happy ending??

scary woods yay

they can't ever go investigating in a park??

or at like disneyland??

no

it has to be scary woords

but that view is actually really nice

so pretty

with the waterfalls and everything

i like it

kiM DONT DO SOMEThiNG STuPID??

DONT

I HAVE A BAD FEELING ABOUT THIS

GODDAMMIT KIM

DONT

DONT INVESTIGATE BY YOURSELF

FUCKIN

KIM COME ON

NO

DONT

god this scene is causing me so much anxiety

thiS IS SUCH A BAD IDEA

SHUT UP

CMON

NO

WHAT WAS THAT SCREAM

NO

HOLY SHIT NO

STOP WAIT

NO

THiS POOR CHILD

WAIT KIM NO

BAD MEMORIES

PLEASE DONT

DONT

DONT

NOPE

CMON

this poor kid

this poor poor kid

goD SOMEONE IS GOING TO CLOSE IT

SHIT NOOO

NO

OH MY GOD

WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT

THAT WAS FUCKING TERRIFYING ARE YOU KIDDING ME

I FUCKING KNEW IT

HE CLOSED IT

GODDAMMIT

THIS POOR KID

COME ON

WHY DO YOU SCARE ME LIKE THIS

KIM

PLEASE

PLEASE

STOP HURTING ME

officer kim burgess telling the kid to breathe when she can't even breathe

stop hurting me dammit

coME ON

COME ON

PLEASE

IM IN SO MUCH PAIN

PLEASE

SOMEONE HELP HER

FUCKIN HELL

HOW CAN SHE TELL THE KID TO BREATHE

WHEN SHES NOT EVEN BREATHING PROPERLY

KIM

K I M

GOD

STOP IT

YOURE FUCKIN SCARING ME

K I M

WHY WOULD YOU CRAWL INTO THE WELL

WITHOUT BACK UP

ADAM

WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU

COME AND GET YOUR WIFE

CO M E O N

PLEASE

SOMEONE

HELP THEM

kinda irrelevant

but

kim is great with kids

WHAT

IS

HAPPENING

ADAM

WHERE ARE YOU

WHAT THE FUCK IS THiS

COMEON 

KIM

PleASE

PLEASE BE OKAY

ADAM

BRO

WHAT THE FUCK

AYY

THERES TWO ROCKS GONE

COME ON

COME ON

YES

THANK FUCKIN CHRIST

THAN K YOU JESUS

OH THANK FUCKING LORD

OH NOW

NOW HE SHOWS UP

LOVELY

ADAM

WHERE THE FUCKING HELL WERE YOU MAN

KIM

MY LOVE

BREATHE

PLEASE

STOP

IM CRYING

IM NOT OKAY

oh joy

therapy??

no wait

is it?

yes

its therapy

my poor girl

please

be patient

‘not for my daughter... not for adam’

chicago pd writers

wrITE A GODDAMN HAPPY ENDING FOR THEM ALREADY

oh my god wait

pls tell me she isn't leaving the show

marina

please

i love you so much

dont leave

i really hope youre not leaving

*screams*

KIM

marina is such a good fucking actress

shes amazing

y’know, i can't actually believe that chicago pd writers are actually ACKNOWLEDGING the trauma that kim went through

i dont believe that they are actually showing the consequences of what happened to kim

why do i feel like it won't last tho?

like for a few episodes

and then

*poof*

gone

[tiptoeing-upsidedown87]

They rape the skull so we can't think.

-And are held down by noise.

They rape the outer vagina so we can't breathe on our own.

-And have to sit with their man at the time of choice while being held down.

They torture the heart so we can't see clear.

-So they can dominate their realms and living dreams of life.

They rape the ass with men.

-So we don't respect them at all.

They rape the eyes with souls of dead nasty tattooed girls.

-Because they conquer their money and withdrawal symptoms.

You know how I know it's wrong? You know how I know they're wrong? I was bisexual. I would admire women so distantly from myself. Clear in my body to make physical decisions. To love a man and slowly learn love for a woman... Shower is to be expressed with women. We find a sense of bitter quietness and alone time. Something we'd only ever share with other women like us, like something far from a locker room? When are they gonna make up their minds and do something worth meaning something. Something not to be shared with men? The way the soap would hold my body and the way it holds the body of another. The way the water talks from God and establishes a sense of security in being watched blindly. You know how I learned I was leaning hard into bisexuality? When men started sharing. When they started seeing eachother. When they would place a woman or women in the middle of their conversations. When my only sense of safeness in my body was in the arms of a woman. When the only way I could express myself was in the heart of a doctor. It hardens my heart to feel like men and women will bully my idea of security. When women and men scold me and tell me to share my supposed to be silent sexuality. Like I'll never be bisexual again. I'll never experience true sex again? 😪 I'm tired. Exhausted. My means are exhausted. This is to be the body. And this is to be the flesh. I'm a child now for my beliefs. I am just insecure. I'm frightened by the sex of others because it is not the sex of myself. At 28 you shouldn't be having to prove your bisexual vagina. Your straight vagina. If you are feeling extra lesbian today why would you share that with a complete stranger? A stranger at all? It's hypocritical. To feel offended in the way these people envision life. Why would I get comfortable here? Why would I force myself security that isn't mine? To retrain myself over and over. Hey over here, our CLASS IS FULL were walking vaginas. Tomorrow our kids are gonna be learning to hang from jungle gyms from their skull. How neat. 🤔

child sex. Adult child sex. Almost 30 and my only classification till I get my teeth handled or fixed is adult child? I'm cryinScreamin... my ex is 40 somethin. Like we don't share a home together? I'm supposed to climb up the mountain time and time again to my child and his house. 👋 hey I'm still here. Bitching about personal freedom.

Adult Kids these days are off chains in their back yards dreaming about any possible thing that comes to mind. A fence is a fence. A bike is a bike. A tree is a tree. They really just have such peculiar things to envision about what lies in front of them. They're allowed to use it for an hour. In our time thats 3 days. After they get a new water bowl it's onto punishment for the 45 seconds they thought of jumping off their dog house. 62 seconds about how they jumped up for a ball that almost hit the sky. 45 minutes about the food trashed in the yard. Another 45 minutes for the sex with the neighborhood Colly... 'They were just talking about last week when they strolled the block with their plastic machetes and fake cigars. 😒 like it wasn't sex at all...... 2 seconds for an eye glare from a fuzzy in their eye. Now onto the plushed pillow in the house. Scattered with invisible feathers from the cat on the line. But still these parents insist its the adult dogs fault. Why are those peddles all over my tub? Did you do this? Like cmon no one else was in the house. Why did you peddle my tub? Because I had a sense of security. I was envisioning smoother skin. Someone told me do it. Lol. This life.

[thewickerking]

OK SO. EPIC WIN! SOUND HAS CEASED!! its on and off and idk if ill hear it again tonight (please i hope not) but it is GONE i am COMFY in BED. my phone DIED but thats ok shes at 3$ now and plugged in so shes going up :)

[spookberry]

i know its probs a symptom of me being in too deep but have you ever talked to someone who liked danny phantom but casually? Its insane, like they never consider the fact that being a ghost usually means you died and what that means for Danny. "He didn't die he just has ghost powers :)" like... cmon, ghost powers he has because hes a ghost oh my god. Do they think Casper never died either???

[byronictrash]

so I was thinking about the whole hbo supernatural thing and all I could think was how it would fit in my major spn interpretation which is TRANSFEM SAM WINCHESTER!!!!

• changed her name to samantha for pure praticity

• is a lesbian, so all the romantic part is pretty similar to the canon, monsterfucking and all

• in which dean got a little confused about the distinction of gender ≠ sexuality at first like “wait but why did you become a girl if you like girls?” (he doesn’t know a lot of queer people, give him some time)

• AND SPEAKING OF DEAN! the biggest ally of all times. at first he doesn’t understand lots of stuff that seems obvious to sam (“why are you putting on a suit?” “dean we’re going to a small town, the case will be way harder if everyone is staring at me”), asks indiscrety questions (“can i ask you something?” “it depends” “you wanna chop your dick off?” “NO YOU CANT ASK IT”) but over time he starts to get it more naturally

• despite his numerous hook-ups, dean has never spent so much time in his life in a company of a woman so even the smallest things are extraterrestrial to him (“hey whats that bowl in the microwave?” “depilatory wax” “OH CMON SAMMY I WAS GOING TO HEAT UP MY DINNER THERE”)

• of course, there would be a scene where they met some hunter friend of john who says shit about sam, misgender her etc and dean goes FERAL, fist fighting with the guy and stuff. later sam yells at dean, saying she doesn't need dean to protect her and the argument would escalate to all the times that dean treated her in a condescending way, dean yelling back that dad said it was his job to take care of her and sam yelling even louder that dad would probably dead by now (in this moment all the lamps in their room (and in the street) simply explode, but they ignore. it was probably some short circuit…. right?)

• ok lets talk about john. still the same asshole, still gave a gun to kid who was afraid of the boogeyman, still tried to summon azazel when his son was in comma in 02X01 BUT now he also has a whole series of microaggressions with sam. she’s not stupid, she know the dad she has so doesn’t come out until she’s in stanford, SO john finds out sam is trans in 01X16 when john see sam after two years wearing a skirt and holding a .45 gun. he looks at her up and down and doesn’t say anything however, suddenly stops calling sam sam and starts calling her strictly samuel.

• it got worse after s1 season finale with the whole azazel possessed john > sam had the opportunity of killing azazel/her dad > couldn’t do it > azazel escaped > the winchesters get hit by a truck. when sam questions her father about being worried about the colt while his own son is dying, john explodes with her “you know samuel this is all your fault, once again you couldn’t just man up and pull the fucking trigger, kill the thing, you had to be same old sissy and chicken off, if your brother dies its his blood in your hands”

• aaaaaanyway, lets go back to our girl :D

• her style is kinda a mess. makeup done in a hurry, most of her clothes are mid skirts, hoodies and long dresses but now and then she spends a week wearing baggy jeans and band t-shirts, like dean’s, and no makeup at all. when he asks her “where is the whole angry teen outfit?” sam would simply respond its “because of the praticity, it’s tough to fight with a vampire in a dress lol” dean knows its because sometimes sam’s internalized transphobia ft repression gets loud

• her music taste is mostly grunge, punk and some alt bands she discover in stanford but dean call all of it emo “oh fuck off sammy, i let you drive once and you already put this emo shit” “dean this is literally nirvana, you cant call everything made after the 80’s emo”

• when she came out to bobby his reaction was literally “so now you’re a girl?” “uh… yeah” “gonna change your name or something?” “now is samantha but sam is still fine” “okay, now look this sigil... (and went back to the lore they were searching)”

• sam’s catholicism being more portrained on screen and how the dilemma of being a Christian and queer filled sam with religious guilty

• her paranormal powers also showed up sooner and since the beginning she knew something was wrong. her throat felt sore every time she recited the rituale romanus and holy water made her skin itchy. the older she got, the harder those “symptoms” became and with her denial, desire to be normal combined with religious guilt, it was easier to just convince herself that all this was just god punishing her for living in sin.

• surprisingly, all the demons and angels (and most of the monsters) even being assholes treats sam with the right pronouns

• which make sam and cas fist encounter even more interesting because cas literally turns to dean and go “is this your sister, samantha winchester?” “yeah” “ABOMINATION”’

• samruby second (cause the real first was ruby killing the seven deadly sins and stuff) encounter on the other side was a little more like "why are you following me?” “because youre tall and tall women are sexy as fuck” (then sam’s brain was short circuited for a sec because her height make usually makes her dysphoric)

• between s3-s4, dean still in hell, there would be a scene of one of the first times that sam drank blood to exorcise a demon with her mind. so here they are, demon tied in a chair and trapped in a trap, sam with blood all over her chin and ruby looking at her all heart eyes. Sam tries to do the exorcism but it doesnt work so ruby says sam needs more blood. Sam responds that shes nauseous and if takes any more shes gonna puke (cause you know voluntary vampirism came too natural in canon and that disturbs me) so the demon, who's wearing a cheerleader as a vessel, laughs and says "you know sammy, for real women blood tends to be a natural thing". ruby kills her on the spot.

• speaking of the catholicism (and the blood drinking) again, sam prays every single time before/after drinking demon blood, ruby mocks her for it but she doesnt care. its a weird feeling because even thinking that what shes doing is right, that she needs to get strong to kill lilith, it still feels bad, unholy in some sense.

• of course lucifer tempted her in s5 not only appearing as jess but also saying things like "why samantha, after all, are you willing to sacrifice yourself for a society that treats you like scum, that looks at you like a freak?"

• no need to say that in 05x04 "The End" episode when dean faces lucifer using sam as his vessel, she's wearing an outfit way cooler than that abbey-road-john-lennon-white-suit (to know what i mean search amanda seyfried 2018 met gala look THATS WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT!!!!!)

• even after being clean of blood drinking, sam still has some of her paranormal powers. she can't do exorcises with her mind anymore but she can move small objects with telekinesis (she doesn't do it in front of dean cause she knows it would scares the fuck out of him)

i also had a list of some episodes rewritten in this au but this list is already long, guess i'll post later

[icepop680]

when are we as a society and civilized people going to make it not okay to ship real people.

like this is a shitpost but it really isnt

dan howell has said that people overanalyzing his relationship with phil made him have awful mental health symptoms and even when they admitted that something was there and asked people to leave their relationship alone people still want to obsess over are they married or are they not

louis tomlinson and harry styles havent been seen together in years

or at least

nothing confirmed

no one knows if theyre really still friends or not they havent confirmed it

and if they are in a relationship do larries actually think overwhelming them with questions and linking everything together is going to do anything legitimately

if theyre in a relationship thats awesome and i wish them the best

but if theyre not

larries are invalidating their actual relationships to prove something that isnt theirs to prove

wtf do they think theyre going to do

lou is gonna be on the comments of his post and hes gonna see the little blue and green hearts and hes gonna go

you know what

theyre right

cmon harry lets go stand up to our management and come out

because if they havent for six or ten or however many years then they wont

stop waiting around for it

if larry is real thats so awesome

i really would be happy for them

but the feeble speculation of will they wont they everything is related isnt doing anything except driving them further apart if they arent together

plus

if they are in a relationship not everything they do is about the other

people in relationships can be their own person

just bc things overlap doesnt mean that theyre necessarily about each other

insinuating that lou or harrys art revolves around the other is harmful to them and how hard theyve worked

esp if theyre not together

bc in this case

yall larries are just making two completely separate artists involved with one another for your shit posting bc youre sad and lonely

i like the idea of larry i really do

but its not worth hurting both of them in the case that it isnt real

[aestheticvoyage2022]

Day 257: Wednesday September 14, 2022 - “Symptom Carousel”

Hard to put a finger on what exactly I’ve been sick with this past week but we know for sure, through 3 negative tests, that its not Covid.   But it really makes you wonder. because Ive gone through it all - dry mouth, stripped throat, fever, cough, cough, cough, plugged ears, watery eyes, headache, bodyache, and even some crampy diarrhea.   And tonight it seemed like I was suddenly getting them all at once.  Cmon!  Give me a break!  Nothing 4 hours of sleep can’t heal, right?  I grind through, annoyed, preferring not to take more sick days - but at this point in the week, whatever I have, is really wearing me down.

Song: Neil Finn - Don’t Dream Its Over

Quote: “A good night sleep, or a ten minute bawl, or a pint of chocolate ice cream, or all three together, is good medicine.” ― Ray Bradbury

[is-your-blorbo-neurodivergent]

does he have anxiety, depression, and psychosis?

submit your own characters here to be featured!

reasons under the cut - tw for substance abuse

reason: Anxiety cause look at him. I know it's cause hes a coke addict, but those jitters and anxious stimming and constant sense of danger cant just be from the coke- he's just like that, all the time. Depression for similar-ish reasons, he's literally never content with his situation and almost definitely started seeking out drugs as a way to give him temporary joy or to make the numbness feel purposeful/in his control. Again, substance abuse disorder is basically canon- never explicitly stated but its HEAVILY implied that he's addicted to the drugs and alcohol he takes.

The psychosis isn't AS implied in canon, but its a pretty easy headcanon to come to when theres scenes of him manically talking to himself, talking himself through conversations, believing he's both above the law and that everyone is out to get him, etc. His canon paranoia could easily be interpreted as specifically psychotic/delusional paranoia (I also just personally kinda like the idea that he hallucinates sensations or voices? for no particular reason, I can just imagine it)

the BPD is cause he literally fits all the symptoms. Abandonment issues (severe ones- he hates his dad but is so fucking terrified of losing him or being hated back), impulsivity (cmon.), drastic mood swings (again- cmon.), none of his relationships are stable (even the one with his drug dealer-), complete lack of trust (other than... his drug dealer?), severe anger problems, even some vaguely suicidal behaviours and a SHIT TONNE of self-destructive behaviours.

He also definitely has something else going drastically wrong with his mental health (hes constantly seeking validation, is super erratic, has... just so much trauma, has violent outbursts, strange ideas of his own skills and how the world works, repetition of strange phrases (eg; "I'm a proactive type of person"), etc etc etc), but I don't know what it is, but the boy has so much illness in his brain- someone force him into therapy, I beg- or at least force him to actually medicate himself in a way that isn't just another avenue of self-destruction

*this character was also submitted for bpd and substance abuse disorder. this will be featured in the next poll.

submitted by @rotteneldritchhorror

[violetnotez]

HC: BNHA Boys and Their Kisses

 -----------------------------

RULES | MASTERLIST COMING SOON! | REQUESTS OPEN!!! :)

-----------------------------

Katsuki Bakugo

This boi

IS A LITERAL MONSTER

When he wants kisses-

HE WILL GET THEM

Wherever, whenever he wants it-he’ll figure out a way to have them

Sees you dressed cute at the mall-hes finding the first bathroom he can find to make out with you

At UA and your skirt is getting to him- you two are in the janitors closet

Inexperienced in kissing and making out but damn, he’ll never admit to that

ALWAYS super rough-but like in a good way

Like pinning your wrists to the wall, tugging on your bottom lip

ALWAYS leaving hickeys

No matter what-you always have like at least 4 or 5

Secretly really smug and proud about it because enjoys seeing them on you and knowing

1) he did that to you and

2) your his and only his and that’s proof of it

What an ass tho

Literally GROWLS when kissing you (it’s pretty HaWt)

Tbh anytime your “kissing” with Bakugo, it’s just making out

Like, it’s never a sweet kiss or a little peck it’s ALL OR NOTHING with him

Tastes like cinnamon

Mr. Grabby McGrabbers

Loves grabbing your a*s

Reason why: cause when he does it and you don’t expect it you jump a little and moan into his mouth and IT. TURNS. HIM. ONNNNNNN

Tug on his hair and he turns to jello

Is always the dominant one and fights to be it

And does everything in his power to make sure its him that wins when your fighting him

“Keep acting like this and I’m going to punish you later, Princess”

You keep acting like that 😉😉😉

Izuku Midoriya

Such a sweetie pie

He’s always super nervous and scared to kiss you because he doesn’t know if he’ll kiss you right or cross a boundary or do something completely embarrassing

DEIFNITELY over thinks it

And has absolutely searched Wiki How on how to kiss

It takes him awhile but he starts off with sweet little gestures

Like if he sees you after training he give you a hug and a kiss on your forehead

Or he’ll sneak attack you with a kiss on your cheeck if he sees you and is overloaded by you cuteness

1st time you kissed him-

Cause of course HE wasn’t gonna initiate THAT

He completely melted and was on Cloud 9

But then he realized he didn’t know what to do with his hands

So you kinda had to guide him where to put them

And then he realized he couldn’t BREATHE

But of course he didn’t wanna stop

So when you guys broke apart he was gasping like a fish out of water

“That was”-(GASP)-“AMAZING”

ALWAYS super nervous though when he really wants to initiate it

“Can-can I kiss you y/n?”

Of course you always say yes!

Loves it when you put your hands on his chest

Best way to get what you want with him is to give him a kiss and he caves

You: “Izuku can we please go get some ice cream?”

Midoriya: “I don’t know y/n...we have a lot of homework and our practical exams are tomorrow-“

*kiss him

Midoriya: “ICE CREAM IT IS!”

Denki Kaminari

Is a w*hore for kisses

Like he’s non stop asking for kisses or giving you kisses

“Cmon, babe just one?”

“Just because you failed another test Denki doesn’t mean you get to suck my face off.”

“But-“

“NO”

Is super okay with PDA in public

That’s literally how he greets you everyday

“Hey babe!” He’ll call out as He’ll sling his arm around your shoulder and press a kiss to your cheeck

Kisses you anywhere and everywhere

Especially when your sick or hurt

You gotta headache? He’s kissing it

Your shoulder is sore from training? KISSING IT

Your legs are sore? He’ll kiss those too

It’s worse when your sick though

Because he’s kissing every place that hurts, aches, or is exposed

And your begging him to stop because you don’t want him to get sick, because he’s a HUGE baby when he’s sick

“Cmon babe one more kiss won’t hurt me, it’s gonna help you I promise!”

But he doesn’t listen until he starts getting the symptoms and now starts asking YOU for kisses

Sucker for when you bite his lip and hickies

He literally melts

Sometimes when he gets too into it, he forgets to control his power and shocks you

It never hurts, it’s only a little jolt but he freaks out

“Oh my god, y/n, are you okay, I didn’t mean that, I’m sorry!”

Kinda scared to touch you but quickly gets over it (holds back just because he’s scared to hurt you again)

Like Bakugo, is Also a Grabby McGrabbers

This child is a pervert what did you expect?

Loves to put his hands in your pant pockets when kissing you

Kirishima

Is super, super gentleman-like

Cause thats MaNLY

But really, hes never pushy on you to kiss or anything

Its your call and you call the shots

Hes really not big on PDA, but he loves to hold your hand or hold your waist and give you kisses on your temple

BUT

He scares the crap out of you all the time, because his favorite thing to do is run up behind you and tackle you with the biggest hug and give you a bunch of kisses on your neck

Has literally the softest lips everrrr

But also- SHARK TEETH

You always have teeth marks on your body

One time they got so bad they began to bruise over and it looked like you literally got attacked by a little shark

WHen he saw them, he didnt realize he did it

“Whoever did this to you Im gonna make them pay!”

“Kirishima-”

“They are goinna be seriosuly hurt once Im through with them! Nobody can touch my girlfriend and hurt her and get away with it-”

“Kirirshima, you did it!”

“.....Oh.”

“ON MY GOSH Y/N IM SO SORRY!”

Likes it when you put your hands on his chest because makes him feel like hes in some super fluffy, romantic movie and hes falling in love with the pretty girl of his dreams

Which he is but ACK its cute!

Is the worst when he’s sick or hurting because hes super whiny

“Y/nnnnnnn can I pleeeasssseee have a kiss- my leg hurts!”

Uses kisses as a bargaining chip ALLLLLLLL the time

 Like if you want some of his food, its always followed by a “Okay...what about 3 kisses for it?”

You always give him more than what he asked for tho ;)

Shouto Todoroki

THE BIGGEST

GENTLEMAN

EVERRRRR

Literally cannot stress this enough

Always waits for you to make the first move, follows your lead, is never super touchy 

Hands are ALWAYS on your upper back and never go any farther down

Even though sometimes he has to fight himself because he kinda wants to let them drop a little bit lower....

Not super big on PDA

But hes the type that’ll give you kisses on your knuckles or your hand

SO CUTEEEE

When your feeling down, he’ll kiss you on your temples or forehead

IS always super nervous to kiss you

But he gets more comfortable as he does it more

Their usually just super gentle and sweet and innocent

“Can I kiss you y/n?”

Either holds your face in his hands or is holding your hand while kissing you

Hes either super hot or super cold

Like NO inbetween

But you notice when you kiss him and hes cold, he instantly gets burning hot

Sometimes so hot you gotta pull back because your afraid he’ll burn your lips

His kisses are usually super sweet and soft, but the first time he REALLY kissed was when you got hurt in battle

He had thought he had lost you, until he saw you were limping towards him, hurt but smiling

He was so relieved he couldve cried

He screamed your name in relief, and just grabbed your hands and face and didnt let go

Just kept repeating “I thought I lost you, Im so sorry y/n, I love you, I love you so much”

-----------------------------

Hope you all are having a good day (or night)!

Requests open! (HC, One Shots, Match Ups, etc :)

[smallestclowninthecircus]

Season 4 notes

Ep 121: mmmm tape recorder turning on without them knowing goes brrr. AAAhjhdsjfhjdf "do you mind if i call you jon" its like "can i call you elias?" is this the dream guy with the tendrils? who wants to bet the boat is captained by peter lukas? big man if it killed yall how are you still here. oh boy the tape is doin that thing. who do we think it is? did he wake up? hmm. ep 122: lol jon. 6 months!?!? bruh quit movin big man. he just Knows things sometimes you know how it is. nah b/c i can relate to feeling like other ppl/ things arent real, thats the biggest mood BUT i think it is kinda pretentious to entertain the idea that youre the only Real person. If you dont see a body dont believe it. i'll hold out hope for a bit. theres not a new archivist is there? surely i wouldve heard about that. oh god peter what changes did you make. ep 123: web development. hope its about spiders. she blames him. bruh why. if they hadnt done anything the world would've ended piss off melanie. why are ppl acting like he chose to be in a coma for 6 months. we know this they just appear. no longer "head archivist of the magnus institute, london" now he's just "the archivist" covered in spiders? cuz ik the spider has to do with controlling what youre doing and all this stuff but i cant think of how this connects to that. ep 124: ugh vertigo. is michael crew an old man? oooh. fairchild. how did he know it was martin? hmm. GRR I LOST MY NOTES AGAIN. FROM EPISODE 125 - part of 131. ep 131: bruh he's so hard to understand big man ur voice is so low. Jared Hotworth. the boneturner. "the ones i helped find their proper bodies" name a better top surgeon? our favorite trans ally? ep 132: woo field trip into the coffin! static lol. he says "chill out im just poppin in for a quick recall mission" is the rib thing actually gonna work? bruh it feels so odd and contrived but he's an odd man with some odd powers so idk. rip that archivist ayyy statement time. voices? recordings? are those tape recorders? was it the tape recorders? did they pull him back? i hope so b/c if the rib thing actually worked im gonna be so disappointed. ep 133: predicting the lonely? tundra. like the lukases. hmm. sanikova! like sanikov land. so its the hunt? i suppose? yeah. so daisy's clearly rejecting the hunt, which makes sense cuz she doesnt seem to like the entities that much. wait so are we just not gonna talk abt all the tapes playing on the ground?? no? ep 134: not an archival assistant anymore? Adelard Decker (or however you spell it) i recognize that name. 15th power. i was right there are 15. the extinction? im trying to remember what ive heard. oooh spooky. no i gotta be real i dont understand this fear but i'll believe you that its a thing. ew lukas is so squealy. lukas can turn invisible? oh boy. oooh martin put the tape recorders there. lol lukas is worried he's gonna be an avatar of the eye. ep 135: yoo its the third Daedalus statement! maxwell rayner (reiner? reigner?) i dont know who that is but ik its somebody. is he the cult leader guy? church of the divine host? 4 people?? what? did they kidnap somebody and keep them up there?? oh dear jon are you dying? did he try to See or Know or whatever? why does everyone call basira detective lol. ep 136: he was the one from the spider movie that ate ppl right? the special effects artist? is it annabelle cane? "its a joke jon" lol. hmm they wanted to record the therapy session with melanie? i wonder who that is. i almost wanna guess annabelle cane but im not sure. ep 137: this is the one! he went to the other place and read the war statement but it wasnt the one she took. not the music again. sounds like the slaughter. who the heck is eric lol. "the watcher's crown" like the crown of eyes we saw in the piccrew ep 138: oh boy Robert Smirk time. is that elias? as unhelpful as usual. if new powers can be "born" can others die out? did jonah magnus wear the watchers crown? maybe they were born from our fear or maybe our fears were born from them. ceaseless watcher does ceaselessly watch so. idk what you want

big man. yeah jonah for sure did something. ep 139: agnes!! lol that one dude threw off all their plans thats so funny. BUT this does tell us something. the tree in the backyard of the hilltop house? not made by her. it going down didnt kill agnes. im guessing gertrude tied agnes to the house using the tree? u good jon? cuz every time you try to Know smth intentionally it seems like it causes you great pain. how come he can do it accidentally with no problem but the second he wants to know smth of plot relevance he gets a headache or whatever ep 140: lol pagan exultation. classic. "oh thats my rib" lmaoo. ppl are always so mad at jon and his Eye powers except when it benefits them. they're like "oh you shouldnt do that its not right" and then all of a sudden they want to know something and its all "oh cmon jon its the only way" ep 142: oh god jon what did you do. its interesting she's giving her statement in the way that they do when jon Asks. did he see her in the Coffin? and so he's following her? ok cmon jon you're supposed to let them come to you. lmao ikr martin. "start to hear the blood" "suure." lmao ep 143: lol that awkward moment when gertrude is already dead. big J if you die im gonna kill you. bruh. ayo helen? i guess it worked? ep 144: lol this reminds me of that one edgar allan poe story where he kills the old dude with the weird eye. spooky music stuff. lol thats my favorite symptom of a heart attack its hilarious. so its smth abt the location probably? bro i feel like you should write down the numbers idk. 162830165049 564846474827. seems like the distortion? like the kinda thing that causes you to go crazy because of the numbers. oh boy is it the extinction again. bro what?? im?? his dad just died and he's like eh. martin dont be mean. he's being all lonely again. big man ur pushing ppl away. oh god its fucking squealy boy. ep 145: that almost sounds like breekon/hope... Arthur? agnes. aah was he from the lightless flame cult. a tree. lol he's just ranting rn. hehehe fuck landlords amirite. yay someone tells jon outright to go to therapy. now do it big man. ep 146: oh great! the distortion! i'm making a spiral themed building in mc right now! jon maybe accept you did a bad? nah this goes back to what i said before. they're fine with him compelling ppl when its convenient for them but otherwise its "no jon you cant, youre a monster jon" the tapes didnt turn on. i spose that means its not important? i agree with daisy, this seems unecessarily dangerous. ep 147: is that a tape? the first tape? well that went better than i expected tbh. BAHAKJASHDJKF she did the "can i call you jon" like nikola says "elias, can i call you elias?" damn annabelle is such a girlboss. oh! the one thing from the picrew. its been a while since ive connected smth to that. lol all the other avatars always talk abt their patron so lovingly and the jon just. absolutely hates the eye. ep 148: lol thats the most elias thing. "i just like the way it sounds" ep 149: did he disappear? bruhh. ur lonely powers are popping off i guess. oops i accidentally deleted my notes for 150 - 152 ep 153: thats the cult right? yeah. it doesnt sound like the church of the divine host? idk. if it is the church of the divine host then they worship the dark right? so is the eleventh the dark star or wtvr? it almost sounds like the corruption b/c of the oil or grease or whatever. oh dear what happened. oh its the hunters. theyre so annyoing. not an "it" he has a name. he's a person. is this a page from the skin book? ep 154: oh shit this is gerry's dad! oh shit he quit! oh dear god. jon don't you do it. haha martin. yeahhhh... is he gonna tell the others? cuz you know theyre gonna get mad if he doesnt. oh also picrew connection! the bandages over the eyes? yeah thats this im guessing. ep 155: oh good he told them. oh my god what did you do. lol i have no mouth and i must scream. nah you get none of my sympathy you're straight up murdering ppl. its like the desolation, destroying lives to sustain your own. ok but taking their statements doesnt

kill them. oh... bye melanie. ep 156: lmao imagine if the tape recorder spoke back. oh boy decker! i swear we got a statement from him already. oh god mirrors scary. They're gonna eat the body arent they. Yup... sounds like the flesh or the slaughter, but I'm not sure. Could be the extinction for sure. Smth at the center! Like Helen mentioned. God Peter you dick. Ep 157: peter's just so :/ another decker statement i see. a statement about the corruption? hmm. maybe its not abt the corruption. the extinction. lol pandemics. topical. John Amherst. helen? lol i can hear admiral purring in the background. oh cmon helen dont be like that. im trying real hard to like you but you make it so difficult. ep 158: did they fucking free the stranger? im gonna lose it. you absolute dumbass. im sorry who is that? jonah magnus? my guy. peter. you absolute dickhead. that's elias. (im p sure i had this spoiled for me that elias is jonah) oh dear this is her death. god peter you prick. i hope this is a pop off martin moment and not a "martin you idiot" moment. i hope the hunters kill the stranger entity. or she kills them. furry daisy pop off! yeah fuck you peter martin can make his own decisions. you know that clip from Twisted where jafar says "ok what the fuck was that" martin D: ok like i know its gonna work but still D: D: ep 159: peter you bitchboy. because if im alone i cant hurt anyone else. imnotgonnacryimnotgonnacryimnotgonnacry do it do it do it do it. pop off jon. ok its a pretty good idea for a ritual i gotta be honest. she didnt even have to blow it up lol. oh dear that was certainly a noise. "he gets you" did he not have jon already? he's back! our boy is back! awwww thats so cute. ep 160: oh right this is the thing in the safe house. i love him. "obviously im going to tell you if i see any good cows" martin my beloved <3 :)) oh boy who is this. fuckin. people. jonah you dick. gahh. you can tell he's trying to resist so hard lol. ohh. hehe keep an *eye* on him. altho if the extinction is a real thing he needs to be marked by that right? lol he sounds so intense im sorry- i want martin to just burst in and be like "look at this cow i saw!" its so dramatic and for why.