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sansloii · 10 months

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Name: Hollis! ( though, i go by Marshy as well and have for about 6 years )

Pronouns: she/they

Preferred comms: discord because tumblr ims are questionable at best. i also uninstalled the app because of how often it would just randomly crash for little to no reason so.... if you want to reach me, disco is the safest bet

Name of muse(s): I have eight wonderful creatures of varying temperament. Batch 1 was Mikah. Batch 2 was Penelope, Wynn, Evan, Dakota, and Joseph. Batch 3 was Roderick and Andris. I also am working on fleshing out Vega properly but he's not quite done yet.

Experience in RP: in about 2012-ish, i was into f.andomstuck and i had an oc for that until like.... 2014-ish? it was baby's first blog and i didn't really know what I was doing. I had fun, while it lasted, but i also knew some of the people in this community ( like they went to the same high school as me ) so any issue we had on tumblr would translate into lunchroom confrontations. I didn't enjoy that part so much and my interest for it fizzled out by the time i graduated. then, i jumped over to the fire emblem fandom and made an oc for fire emblem awakening! i think i stayed in that rpc until 2016/2017 and i had two ocs, a mother and her son from the future, that i still very much adore. there were ups and downs and i feel like i was taught.... multiple frustrating lessons during my tenure there. it did help me develop my writing a lot and i have to say that i'm honestly better off having taken the chance to do it.

lastly, i ended up here in 2017 and i'm not leaving. i also have another massive oc blog i'm slowly reworking but i'm trying not to stress myself out lol.

Best experiences: it's very difficult to put specific experiences into words because most of it, for me, is vibes. my best experiences have been interactions and plots with people that I not only get along with but like... you know--we understand each other. like if i decide that i'm not going to rp on tumbles for a month and maybe just stick to headcanons, i can do so without fear that you think i'm wasting your time. or that we can pick up where we left off and it's okay if you respond to the months old thread you had with me. or! we can just stay up until the wee hours of the morning talking about ideas or blorbos or getting really into a discord rps. like it's the vibes that i can come to you like a fart in the night with a gifset or image like "hey this is our muses" and, likewise, you can do the same with me.

to those of you who i vibrate at the speed of light towards at any given moment, you know who you are. thank you for being patient with me and giving me the space to vibe with you :)

Pet peeves / dealbreakers: i feel like every time i open my mouth about pet peeves i have, i sound like a crotchety old person that always has something negative to say deep down ... but w/e. it's my soap box.

i've noticed that since i've come back, it feels like i have to be the one that's chasing some people for interactions or plots more often. or like. right out the gate, they wanna jump from A to Z and be best buds and whatever so we can speedrun everything. or... i'm expected to or have to do most of the work because they're quite literally doing none of it after expressing interest. and like some of that isn't inherently bad! i'll be the first to admit that if we're friendly enough and progress something enough to where it's like... an established thing? we can have something going faster than the speed of sound after that. we can have multiple ships, a dedicated au, a whole slew of worldbuilding shit together and i won't care because i know said person on some level. and that took time + a whole slew of back and forths.

however, it doesn't feel great to express that "hey i want to plot something but it'll take time and like... if we're shipping on top of that, it'll take double that amount" and watch, in real time, as that person just... eventually leaves you on read. and/or just doesn't interact with your content anymore. and i can tell the difference between being preoccupied/ having not great week/taking a break from tumblr entirely/being slow and being put on a shelf/ barely acknowledged very clearly. i shouldn't have to feel like i'm competing for a slot or something, which is the vibes i got sometimes and ( as you would expect ) didn't like.

this isn't directed at anyone i'm currently following, ofc. i know i am not perfect but i also know that i am an extremely patient person, which is how I want to be treated. It's very frustrating to try and try and try again only to get the bare minimum from people i genuinely wanted to interact with. but c'est la vie--such is life--and i move on. i, like many others, have limited time to be on here and if something doesn't bring me joy after a month, two months, three months, I'm more than willing to part with it. there has to be effort on both ends in some way and if you want me to pat your ass, pat my ass too.

Muse preference ( fluff, angst, smut ): you cannot make me choose. now, does that mean that I write them all in equal amounts? certainly not. but it really depends on my mood. sometimes, all i wanna do is talk about soft moments. other times, i want to put my muses in a blender and watch them process what's happening to them. occasionally, i'll let them roam free and be as horny as they like. the key is to always cycle through the three so you don't get burnt out on any one of them.

Plot or memes: uuuuuhhhh it depends? plots are my fucking jam and i like having a general storyline to follow when writing and then figuring out the little details when we get to them. it's a long process but i enjoy the wait and the buildup more than i enjoy air so djsfdvdfvd--

buuuuuut i also think memes are a valueable, valueable springboard into interactions. and plotting straight outta the gate can be intimidating for some. plus, if you want to plot but your head is empty atm, finding and sending memes with the same vibe as the plot point you wanted to discuss is helpful! i'll admit that i'm not great at sending in memes but it's not for lack of wanting to. it's more not knowing what to send and picking a muse to send along with it that trips me up. Plus, not being here most of the day tends to mean i miss a lot of meme reblogs orz

Long or short replies: long replies but i do trim them shorter or rewrite portions of them. sometimes, i will write what i deem to be "too much" for a reply ( e.g: my partner has like 350 words and i'm sitting at like 625 words ) and i'll go back and edit it down to 450-500 if i find stuff that doesn't really move anything along or is just needless padding.

Best time to write: it used to be late night but i pass out too often for that to be effective anymore ( because of my sleep schedule for work ), so i tend to favor late mornings and early afternoon. if i'm writing late at night, it's because i didn't have time during the day to do so.

Are you like your muse(s): n...not really in most cases. like we share some traits here and there but for the most part, my personality, sense of style, and morality deviates from most of them.

tagged by: @rexpyre tagging: @arcxnumvitae @gunrising @royaletiquette @nezumivc103221 @bonesofchaos and anyone else that wants to.

#ツ ┊ ⧼ catwalk talk ⧽ ⇹ ( ooc. )#.does a little dance :)#.thank you for the tag!

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chronicxwanderlust · 1 year

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get to know the author!

name: tabitha

pronouns: she/her

preference of communication: used to be a die-hard tumblr im's girlie but finally caught onto the discord train a few years ago! still stick to im's for like initial contact/plotting but definitely am reached better and interact more consistently on discord.

most active muse: that would be my bb marley! she's my longest active muse of about...four years now? i feel like it might be longer but that's as old as any of her blogs that i can find! but without fail she's always the muse i have the most inspiration for, and a foolproof way to get myself out of any writing slumps. will say though after really only exclusively playing her for like three years, this last year or so i've tried my hand at so many new characters/fcs and now have so many new muses that i adore!

experience/how many years: when i tell you that i have absolutely zero recollection of how i discovered rping on this hellsite!!! my middle school bestie introduced me to tumblr for sure but how i ever discovered rp will probably forever be a mystery to me, but i think i've been here since i 2011? do not remember if rping on omegle (PLEASE who let me be unsupervised on the computer!!!!) came before or after, but once i was here i started with glee rp (cannot interfere, it's a canon event) and somehow crawled my way to today and into my home amongst simple town rps asdfghgfghj.

best experience: this last year or so has probably given me the biggest giggles that i can remember ever having!!! i had the fortune of meeting some really great writers to brave this madness together and just getting to laugh and bounce ideas and plots off of them and also to have a front row seat to their work outside of what we've come up with has just been so cool and inspiring? like the fact that this is done as a silly little hobby but i genuinely am constantly left just in awe of their talent is just so beyond me!

rp pet peeves: lazy plotters or people who so clearly don't read your intro before just throwing connects out there (usually in order to face chase and it's like babe, if you read my intro i wouldn't have to tell you why x, y, and z does not fit for this muse like?)! i don't mind shipping certain faces together but wanting a ship solely for the faces and not caring about the muse themself is usually so blatant and obnoxious.

fluff, angst, or smut: big fan of both fluff and angst! i generally like more plot driven threads, which i feel usually lends itself to angst, but love balancing out the heavy stuff with something light and fun when it calls for it and def think those can help move a plot along as well! think it's kinda funny that before i was allowed to write smut, i wanted to do so more than i do now that i actually can? it's not that i won't, but it'd probably have to be a ship i really cared about and thought it'd add something to see what that connection is like when they're intimate?

plots or memes: i am the worstttttt when it comes to memes! i start off with such good intentions but usually they just build up in my inbox and i tell myself i should answer them...and then let them sit in my inbox for longer until it's really been too long since i should've answered them and tell myself i'll be better next time. but plots, i live for that shit! don't even need big elaborate ones, like one of my longest rp besties and i usually just send each other little blurbs of an idea and literally could spend forever going back and forth with musings and headcanons for it.

long or short replies: i look back on like my 2016 rp days and literally do not know how i went from little one line responses to writing novels. like the #pls don't feel like you have to match length tag is v me coded bc i absolutely am not getting out of a response without at least a paragraph. love love love exploring my muses thought processes and reasonings and their inner monologue, which can lead to some pretty lengthy responses, depending on the thread!

time to write: tell myself all day at work that when i get home, it's time to write...and then i get home and i tell myself that it's time to nap instead! i have the most time to write in the evening/night time or during the weekends, and that's when i can get random little bursts of motivation to not wait until the suns gone down to start writing.

are you like your muses: i do like to give my muses tiny little parts of myself, like if they reference a tiktok that's ended up on my fyp, or some weird quirks or opinions, but as a whole, i don't think i'd consider myself too similar to any of them!

tagged by: @waveofstars thank you bb!

tagging: @sinsoakedsaints, @tinytriceratop, @kiplingwriter, + anyone who wants to!

#ooc #ask memes

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that-kid89 · 6 months

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03.24.2024 pt.2

a shit and a smoke. pleasures.

out here feeling like an artist, but that's just my ego though. really though, social media is in fact digital, but digital art not a thing? all that isn't made by the earth, is essentially made by us. i consider us as mere copy cats of what the earth has to offer. i am no god, or elite, just an observer. my observations do not have to mean anything to you, i live my own world. although it does not feel like a choice, as i may have always portrayed it as such. empathy is hard for me. i love to get deep with people, and learn through their feelings. a lot of what makes me who i am is from who i've gotten to meet in my life. such as the people who i've spent time, who i could get a better understanding of, and so all of these people and what comes from my end of communication is what i believe to be the majority of who i am.

i like to write for me. i grew to not care for texting, unless i need it. my moods can really vary. i can't say that i've willingly been single for over 5 years. truthfully what feels more like since 2016 it's been this way. i really miss the times that i was with heather. side note i learned to type without autocorrect or a care for capitalizing. blog style.

but to summarize, i really miss heather. with her was the deepest i had been in love with someone. i feel like i haven't been living since.

truthfully i have many positives for my last 5 years.

got skinny working at whole foods.

worked at a brand new dispo that was local, and had been asking the owners for a job for over 4 years. got lucky with them going rec. had a lot of pains with them, but my network grew very well along with my rapport with the team. so many amazing throwback photos, only a few i keep up with.

did some time that i call "trapping" and felt like a young rock star. got two cars from working at the dispo and the trap. moved around a few times, and ultimately came to a screeching halt after getting covid.

then got into working two cannabis jobs for some time.

got promoted and committed to one job, multiple locations.

great success with two store openings, and got a manager role at a big store. - great pains from this store took their toll on me, but by far my biggest role and did so many things that i've dreamed about. went to a few expo events, got a 14 day business trip, and got to learn SO MUCH about management working with so many amazing leaders. my network blew up, and with high degree professionals. made the most money i'd ever seen and had great benefits.

i sit here tonight, heartfelt, nostalgic, sipping nicotine vape, having just smoked a fantastic hash bowl, and drinking probs just a couple beers. cant settle on what to watch, but imma go find something.

consider this a letter to myself, and all that love me, to love myself.

at the unhealthiest i've ever been, and have aged a lot. feeling so old from seeing me, people i've known, and how the world used to be. what i'd give to go back 18 years.

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hangonimevolving · 1 year

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And we're back... to 2023

BACK TO THE PRESENT. I have managed to catch my blog up with the goings-on from 2021-2022, and I now find myself in the present year. Guys. I'm proud of myself.

Top row plus bottom left: We spent the first week of January (the 2nd week of the kids' holiday break from school) on a little road trip to Legoland, and then Cape Canaveral. We hadn't been to either before, despite living in Florida for almost 9 years. Feel like this was an important achievement as Floridians.

Bottom middle: Vev turned TEN! Can you believe that insanity?!!!! Remember when he was JUST BORN, or when he was a TINY BABY?! I know, so nuts. Our big activity to celebrate Year Ten was a trip to.... an abandoned railroad track. But not just any abandoned railroad track! This was an abandoned railroad track that I scouted out and pored over the internet to find... because apparently, its the favorite spot of official Planespotters to take photos of "heavies," aka large-body jumbo jets, that land into Miami International Airport. We went planespotting! Our first of many planespotting jaunts since. Vev was freaking delighted. #winning

Bottom right: February 2023. Dr. Spouse and I ran the Publix A1A race - this time, opting for the 4-miler in support of the American Cancer Society, and channeling positive vibes to two special people in our lives who at the time, were battling aggressive cancers. Sadly, in the weeks since then, we have lost both of them :( but this highlights the importance of the ACS's work. In the weeks since this race, I've been dealing with some nagging chronic pain and arthritis.... what else is new.

***

March 2023: The kids' spring break week = family vacation to Costa Rica! Dr. Spouse and I had done a weeklong trip to CR in 2008, but this was our first time as a family unit. We spent our time in Monteverde exploring mountaintop rainforests, and then Arenal/La Fortuna exploring the forests, hot springs, and land surrounding the Arenal volcano. It was a blast. Also, our kids are REALLY good sports about hiking and outdoor adventures. They are at the most awesome, awesome ages right now, and I couldn't be more freaking delighted.

***

And now, I bring you to the last few weeks, from March-May 2023.

Top left and top right: I spent most of March and April quilting up a storm. I made two beautiful (if I do say so myself) quilts for the kids rooms with fabrics that I purchased from Etsy in December 2021 while living in the apartment, that I dropped entirely too much money on, but that were all chosen carefully to compliment the color scheme of their rooms/rugs that I just KNEW I'd be putting in there once we moved in. These quilts weren't just quilts: they were sort of a love letter to the labor and waiting that we had put into this house of ours. I enjoyed making them! Also, I chose patterns that involved me learning new skills. Can talk more about that later, but it was kind of a "thing" for me.

Middle left: American Heart Association Heart Ball. Dr. Spouse is on the board of the local chapter of the AHA, so he was sort of obligated to make an appearance. I recycled the same dress I wore to the 2016 ball, lol.

Middle right: I volunteered for several days at the kids' school's Scholastic Book Fair. I used to do this at their old school too - I really love it. Its fun to help the kids pick out new and interesting books to read! Bonus: I got to take funny pics trolling Florida governor Ron Desantis' dumbass policies on critical race theory and anti-wokeness. Eat shit, Ron Desantis! :) love ya haha jk jk.

Bottom row: May 2023 has meant some fun adult time! No, not that kind of adult time. I'm talking about a few occasions to reconnect with old friends, on our own and without kids in tow. I had a LONG awaited and much, MUCH enjoyed weekend with my college girlfriends - they all flew down to my neck of the woods, and we rented a beautiful and HUGE mansion from a homesharing site and had a blast together. Dr. Spouse did a similar thing the very next weekend with two of his medical school buddies. Here's to nurturing old friendships - the ones that have gotten us through all kinds of things in life so far.

***

And, now I'm up to date with our lives. Whee! I know this might sound dumb, but I feel like a weight is off my shoulders. I have had this blog going since sometime in 2010, I think, and although I've had long blocks of time where I haven't kept it up, its never far from my mind. I love that its a chronicle of my life over many years and many changes. I hope to keep it going. Whether you are new here or you've followed me awhile, whether you even exist or not - - thanks for reading.

#vacation #running

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magnificent-nerd · 3 years

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Why Naqib in The Boys sucked

Image description: fictional character Naqib in Amazon Prime’s show The Boys.

(Is the fire in the background an excuse to use racist Yellow Filter to show how exotic he is? Hmm.)

I first posted this on my blog in Dec 2020, and since nothing in superhero media has changed for the better at this time (September 5th, 2021), I’m going to keep talking about it.

Because nobody else does. So, without further ado:

WHY NAQIB SUCKS.

I was a big fan of The Boys season 1; I love superheroes, I love deconstructing a genre. Sure, it has its problems, but overall I enjoyed season 1 and thought the show had potential.

(That’ll learn me for being hopeful!)

When season 1 ended with this big build up of mostly nameless brown and background characters as Muslim terrorists (deep sigh) we the audience are left thinking this one Muslim character (Naqib) whose superpower is to blow himself up repeatedly (insert another long deep sigh here) is going to be The Big Bad of season 2.

I had my misgivings about that direction. Firstly, as you can see from the image of Naqib, he is highly exoticised and is walking around bare chested with Arabic writing on his chest. He looks more like a generic western media depiction of a genie than he does a supervillain.

And yet he's the first prominent Muslim character in superhero media I've seen in YEARS.

(See my post about MENA and Muslim character good guys, including Joe played by Marwan Kenzari in The Old Guard, which is technically a comic book movie but it’s not what I’d call ‘caped and costumed’ superheroes so it’s more... superhero adjacent.)

I follow superhero content closely and as far as I'm aware the last time we saw any named Muslim characters in superhero movies WITH SPEAKING LINES was:

Instance 1) Iron Man 1 back in 2008 with The Ten Rings in Afghanistan, showing multiple Muslim characters as baddies/terrorists, but only two of them as a named character and with any meaningful lines to say. And despite one of them, Yinsen (actor Shaun Toub), being a good guy he still dies! Which is common in western media for Muslim and MENA characters.

Note: Fellow Iron Man 1 castmate, actor Sayed Badreya, makes an important point in this GQ article: "I die in Iron Man, I die in Executive Decision. I get shot by everyone. George Clooney kills me in Three Kings. Arnold blows me up in True Lies…" (x)

Instance 2) A more recent instalment in Batman V. Superman in 2016, with some unnamed 'General' character and mercenaries/terrorists in Nairomi, Africa, referred to only as "the desert" throughout the movie. All reference to the General's actual name are available in an extended/deleted scene only, so a very poor and vague depiction in the final cut.

Instance 3) The generic and badly written ‘bad guys’ in Wonder Woman 1984 (2020 movie), which was honestly such a racist depiction of Arabs and Muslims that many critics pointed out we hadn’t seen a depiction this terrible since 1994′s True Lies. (At least most critics were in agreement that WW84 movie was generally terrible, so there’s that.)

And that's it, those are the only major instances showing any Muslim actors or characters in a caped and costumed superhero movie.

Some other fleeting glimpses of Muslims onscreen:

Glimpse 1) I spotted a girl wearing a hijab among the nameless and unspeaking background characters of Peter Parker's class in Spider-Man: Far From Home (2019). A first for Marvel movies, apparently.

Glimpse 2) Disney Plus show Falcon and Winter Soldier (2021) had two nameless Muslim characters walk by in a scene that’s supposed to be Tunisia (using Yellow Filter), and ‘thank’ the present American Air Force (eye-roll).

Glimpse 3) Netflix show Jupiter’s Legacy (2021) had a nameless Muslim sailor conversing with one of the main characters in a scene, with meaningful dialogue about racism. (WOW. Really good.) Bonus: no yellow filter. It’s a pity he’s a nameless background character because this brief instance is the least problematic MENA rep I’ve seen in ages, but it is very brief.

I just wrote about Glimpses 2 and 3, and how the Netflix show outdid Disney when it comes to these nameless walk-on Muslim characters.

This is pretty pathetic overall, these small crumbs, especially compared to better rep and probably the only instance of legit MENA superheroes in a ‘costumes and capes’ style superhero show, the Tarazi siblings on DC’s Legends of Tomorrow.

Anyway, now I’ve listed what crumbs are available across the live action superhero genre, back to The Boys.

I was intrigued about how season 2 would handle Naqib and any characters relating to him, and what storyline they'd use.

Was I excited at the possibility of seeing Muslim supers onscreen? Damn straight I was. Did I mind that they were baddies? Well, yes and no. When you only ever get crumbs or no crumbs at all, you tend to get excited over one stale old crumb.

After the build up for season 2, I eagerly sat down to watch the first episode, only to have the first five minutes of episode 1 Trigon him.

Note: who's Trigon, you ask? Well if you didn't watch the DCEU's Titans show, Trigon was The Big Bad who was hyped up throughout season 1, introduced in the season 1 cliff-hanger episode as this big 'oh shit!' moment for the cast of heroes, only for him to fizzle out like a wet fart in the first episode of season 2 while the show pivots wildly in another direction.

Exactly what happened to Naqib in the first five minutes of The Boys season 2.

Erm, so, Naqib. Farewell, I guess? As a character you briefly appeared in 2 episodes, portrayed by a different actor in each (Krishan Dutt, and Samer Salem). It seems the writers used you as a plot device when they needed a cheap cliff-hanger for a direction that ultimately went nowhere.

Am I disappointed? Yeah, I am. Overall I thought season 2 of The Boys was weaker than season 1, but I'm not here to talk about the whole season: I want to talk about Naqib and this missed opportunity.

The Boys and its showrunners sell the show as being a satire of recent and well known superhero content, of all the big movies and TV shows. There's been a lot of patting themselves on the back for calling out overused tropes in superhero media (and sometimes they've done this satire well: see the LGBT marketing scene with Queen Maeve in season 2), but my issue with the show on their Muslim rep, or should I say lack thereof, is if your show has even less Muslim character rep than the content you're trying to parody, how is this a win for satire?

Naqib and that whole angle came across as a lazy, half-assed swing from the writer's room. Sure, perhaps a lot of the non-Muslim and non-MENA audience won't even notice, as we've been ignored by western media or made into nameless, generic, vacuous baddies for decades now. Non-Muslims and non-MENA just accept that we're always the baddies for no particular reason at all (which feeds into Islamophobia, by the way) and The Boys' writers could say they are simply satirising the tropes already present in media...

But, and this is a big but, the media that The Boys is satirising has already made a step toward better inclusion and representation: Ms. Marvel (Kamala Khan), Marvel comics' first Muslim superhero, is entering the MCU as a lead character in her own Disney Plus show, debuting in 2022.

Ms. Marvel/Kamala Khan is also cited to appear in upcoming Captain Marvel sequel, The Marvels (2022), which will be a major movie.

The MCU has also cast a Muslim actor (Mahershala Ali) as the lead in a reboot of Blade. That's going to be big news when it starts filming.

So to the showrunners on The Boys, I say this: now you've done this small angle of 'all Muslim characters are terrorists, yuckity-yuck!' like we've seen in major superhero movies thus far, and you've brushed that aside in favor of focusing on other whiter villains, my question is will you come back to Muslim and MENA characters again? Or is that all you got?

Because if that was ALL, then the current score is Disney/MCU:02, Netflix:02, DCEU:02, and The Boys: a big ZERO as far as Muslim and MENA rep goes.

Originally posted on my blog, magnificently nerdy.

If you, like me, are always on the lookout for onscreen Muslim and MENA characters in superhero media, and have spotted any characters in superhero TV shows I haven’t watched yet, let me know about them!

Here is my post on good guys, featuring Old Guard’s Joe, and Blindspot’s Rich Dotcom.

Here’s my post about the Tarazi siblings on DC’s Legends of Tomorrow TV show.

And, if Marvels’ Eternals gets released on schedule for 2021, we will have a MENA actor portraying a supporting character. I just hope Marvel gives him a name.

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rnegitsune · 4 years

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Ok so I thought I'd put together some horror stories from my time as a babymetal fan bc of how drastic the shift in the fandom has been the past year or so. For context I got into babymetal in like june of 2014 (all 3 girls were still underage at the time, I was 22; when I first got into them I thought I would be considered an older fan lmao the naivete, the innocence of new fan me wow I know now I'm not at all in the older half of the fandom esp considering I was born the same decade as su and moa), and I made this blog in I think may of 2015.

I've had people say I should compile men being gross into a post and I just couldn't do that out of fear for my own mental health but this will be pretty close. These are all my experiences with this fandom over the years; I'm definitely missing some but what I do remember should do well to cover most of how this fandom used to be vs now. It's gonna be a lot and tw for men being gross about minors.

Back in my first year or so of this blog I on multiple occasions got dms from men asking to be friends. At the time my bio only said my name and my pronouns. I've always been cautious of dms so I'd ask their age and every single one was considerably older than me. I wouldn't usually answer after that bc no thanks but they would generally try to continue convos til I blocked. The only one I still had was this one

After I put my age in my bio, which was 23 at the time, I never got a dm like that again; take from that what you will. But if you're young please be wary of this hell fandom even now. And if you're an older fan and esp an older male fan reading this, don't dm people trying to be friends. I was over 18 and it still creeped me out to no end.

One of my real first men in this fandom are disgusting moments was a blog back in like 2015 or 2016 who I had some contact with due to common interests; he was a huge yui stan and made bm content. He was like 28 or 29 at the time and I eventually noticed he would tag idols, mostly kpop girls, by their body parts (legs, butt, etc) which is disgusting enough as it is but then I saw him do the same for literal minors, like tzuyu from twice. I messaged him asking what the hell he was doing objectifying women but also actual children and he blocked me lmao. He later unblocked me to let me know that's just how he tagged things and it was my fault he had anxiety and then he blocked me again.

Back before the tumblr purge this fandom was repulsive to a degree I cannot even begin to describe. Someone would reblog something from me, I'd go to their blog and it would be underage jpop idols and japanese p*rn all the way down. I even stumbled upon a man editing underage su into p*rn gifs. Obviously no proof of that but I did go find my initial reaction to it

The number of times I'd get a follow from someone then go to their blog and it would be as mentioned above or their bio would be the most misogynistic trash I'd ever read was staggering. I genuinely considered giving up and deleting this blog so many times bc i felt oberwhelmed and outnumbered by these gross old dudes; and so the fact that this fandom has evolved into a bunch of chaotic wlw?? Amazing, I could cry.

Fun phenomenon of women running bm blogs was men sending messages asking if we liked babymetal. No joke. I think this happened to me two or three times but I spoke w other female creators at the time and it had happened to them as well. My entire blog is babymetal, and yet???

He said the weird guy idk bc he sent some random ass messages vaguely insulting me and when I responded coldly, he acted confused so I said you're some guy idk, hence the above message starting as such. Also that pic and the one up above that has my current pfp bc I just took those screenshots. Like I said I typically blocked weird dms but I guess these passed me by so I still had the messages.

Most people know the sub reddit is the worst and don't need me to tell you but it's a hellscape and I highly recommend avoiding it. A short list of things I've had to see as a result of going there: men discussing at length kano and momoko's appearances and how they look in costume vs in normal clothes. Men discussing at length the hope that the girls would marry men who aren't Japanese, a thread that was from when all 3 girls were underage. They aren't gonna marry you dude they're really not.

The insulting of billie Eilish, a 17 year old at the time, was horrible too. Su and moa got to meet her, something they were extremely excited for, and they posted a pic; the comments were disgusting as you can imagine. The yui rumors were terrible too, fatshaming, slutshaming etc all based on nothing. Some man saying the rumors about yui leaving bc, no joke this was a real rumor, she "got too fat" couldn't be true bc "look at saya." Saya being a barely 18 yo back up dancer who covered the third spot after yui left but before the avengers. Not to mention the upskirt shots from when they were minors, the constant editing of their faces onto explicit photoshoots etc. I remember being a new fan looking for a su pic on google and being horrified at the fact that one of the top suggested results after her name was “bikini;” she was 16 at the time. Also, the uptick in massively creepy posts and messages sent to bm blogs as each girl, but esp moa and yui, approached 18 was disgusting.

Now for some personal nonsense. A big reason why I haven't touched my youtube channel in months is bc I got tired of dealing with the men of this fandom. I poke fun at metal and get told I deserve to die. I say ped*philes and creepy men are gross and get a swarm of middle aged men cursing at me. Had a guy cry about how men are shamed for liking bm and then he turned around and said some gross shit about wlw. Had a guy call me racist for liking a band he also likes (and despite him having no way of knowing my own race) and tell me the babymetal fandom doesn't need my kpop feminist bullshit, which is honestly a great description and I thought about putting it in my yt about lmao. Had a middle aged man unironically say he'd never seen a man be creepy towards bm but fans su and moa's ages calling them hot was creepy. The disillusionment....the level of unawareness is astounding. If you want to see screenshots of some of these comments they are fairly recent in my don't mind me tag; I don't want to see them anymore tho bc they're infuriating so I'm not going to look at them to post here.

Essentially I haven't looked at my channel since may bc men are exhausting and rude and refuse to examine the fandoms they're a part of no matter what. They're told by a woman of the fandom that she's had bad experiences personally and they all start crying about how it's either a lie bc they haven't seen it or unimportant. I did stop reading comments in may and I will never read another one again probably as a result of this shit. Trash men being trash are not worth my time and I refuse to give them anymore of it. I do plan on making more videos tho and let my ~feminist kpop bullshit~ live in their minds rent free.

I will also continue to make fun of metal and the creepy men in this fandom bc it's important and I'm a spiteful asshole who likes disrupting these dudes perfect bubble of a fandom. It genuinely brings me so much joy seeing all the new fans recently (which sidenote if you got into them recently I am kinda curious as to how you found them; I've gotten tons of new followers and considering how inactive they are rn I'm curious). People sending messages about how they finally feel like they belong or that they have a safe space....like I don't even know what to say and I never feel like my responses fully convey how genuinely wonderful that is and how thrilled I am that this is where we're at now and I have had at least some part in it. As this post shows, my experiences have been negative for the most part so the shift recently is such a relief I cannot even begin to explain my gratitude.

So to anyone who read all of this and hasn't disintegrated from the male bullshit, thank you. Keep being yourself and fighting for your place in this fandom, esp if you're a young woman; keep making fun of the creeps and keep making wlw memes!! Babymetal's music is in such a huge way meant for girls and to see more and more finding their way to this previously hellish beyond belief fandom is incredible.

#babymetal #don't mind me #this is long ok

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erikawritesss · 5 years

Text

✨Old Story Piece: “Mine.”

I title the things I write sometimes. Taylor’s name (is one I love for some reason) and apparently a while ago when I wrote a requested blog ..... I like stole the idea and look of her (name, personality, etc) and just used it for her little blurb with Rowan. I feel like Rory is kinda like Rowan... but Rowan from my little ask request was more of like... idk shy? But more of a Top/Tol. Where in this story/blurb thing Rory is like smol and a little more... fiery?

Anyways here this super unedited story piece/blurb thing I wrote sometime in Aug 2016... when I was still 15. Hope y’all enjoy! Or just lmao idk read it. 🥺❣️

Taylor laid her head on Micah's tan bare chest and sighed. Her short platinum colored hair splayed across his torso and she shuffled running her legs along his in a plea for attention. When no movement or sign of acknowledgement came from him she groaned. Lifting her head she stared at his strong yet smooth features relaxed in sleep. She shuffled again in irritation at his unwillingness to wake up and sighed in delight when she sees his lips twitch.

Taylor doesn't resist the urge to run her fingers down his smiling pink lips, then her down his cheeks and jawline on his slight five o'clock shadow. She wiggles again and squeals when he nips slightly at the top of her index. She calmly places her cold feet against his warm ones and smirks as he hisses and flinches back.

"Come on Tay," Micah laughs as he attempts to sternly reprimand the short haired girl on him, but fails as Taylor once again cuddles closer. With closed eyes he tries again, "Taylor, Princess I'm sleeping." She snorts and buries her head further into his arm.

"Aw, does your highness want attention?" Micah says jokingly, but slowly looks down concerned at his blonde when she doesn't immediately counter back at him with a quick snarky comeback. "Princess? Is there something bothering you?

Taylor rolled to her other side with her back facing Micah as to not look him in the face as she spoke, "It's Rory babe."

Micah groaned behind her, "Not this again. I thought you'd promised me we'd leave this alone. I'm with you I promise I'm not-"

"Dammit Micah not that. I'm worried about her."

Taylor twirled her shoulder length hair delicately along her fingers. "Its just ever since that day she's been acting off and avoiding the both of us. And on top of that she went to that party tonight without me. She doesn't even like parties. I'm always the one to push her to go to them." Taylor glowered to herself and rapped her arms around her midsection.

"Babe, maybe she just wants a break from the both of us." Micah whispered behind her rapping his arms around her as well. Taylor's stomach collapsed in worry, "But Jesus why? We are her best friends. Me especially. She should talk to me. Why would she want a break from us?"

Micah shushed his girl friend as her octave slowly rose with her body that was now sitting up in bed in a frenzy. Taylor kept going.

"I'm her best friend-"

"Taylor..."

"-she should come to me-"

"Taylor..."

"-if something is bothering her-"

"Taylor..."

"-I mean I'm the only one that could-"

"Taylor!" Micah screamed still laying down on the bed. Her blonde head whipped around and glared down at her boy friend, "What?!"

"Maybe she couldn't. Talk to you that is. Maybe she has something she couldn't say to you directly, because it would affect...stuff."

Taylor blinked her grey eyes at him flatly and Micah groaned, "Taylor you've messed with her enough. Me and her actually. You think that you wouldn't be sick of hanging out with people who pursue you constantly who are suppose to be your friends. You've crossed lines Tay. Lines that friends shouldn't cross."

Taylor let out a small breath, "But Micah we crossed them. We were friends before we were anything. She got us-"

"-together. I know. But think about how that must have felt. To have gotten her two best friends together because they were circling around each other without properly asking each other out for all of high school. And then having to deal with them all sophomore and junior year?"

Taylor laughed, "Micah we weren't that bad. We never left her like other people do when they get a boy friend or girl friend."

Micah chuckled and tugged her back down, "True. But that's the problem, we were always with her and we were all over each," he nibbled on her ear for affect and smirked as her breath hitched. "We were practically in the honeymoon phase and she was...dealing with her own relationship issues." His voice lowered in a tone of anger.

"Micah..."

"That guy was an asshole and we were so rapped up in each. We just let him..."

"He took her virginity and bounced." Taylor joked and jumped when Micah pinched her waist. "Oh come on, she's the one that made that joke. It's been two years."

Micah growled, "Doesn't matter, he shouldn't have touched her. He had no right to-"

"He was her boy friend," Taylor reminded her boy friend in a singing chirpy voice. Micah's jaw clenched and Taylor lifted her head to stared down at jealous boy friend. He blinked angry electric blue orbs at her and sighed through his nose.

She quickly distracted him before he went on a rampage much like every other time he got jealous of someone being around his girls. Taylor long ago realized how much Micah cared about their girl, Rory. Even if he refuse to admit it to himself. No matter how long she pestered him.

"Okay, forget about that. So me and you are all lovey dovey and shit. But so what? She's never had a problem with us being together." Taylor said with a sigh into Micah's neck.l

Micah laughed, "Lovey dovey and shit? You're so romantic Tay." He ran his hands over her soft platinum locks. "Its not that, that bothers her Tay. It's the...changes. You've went from being with me to suddenly trying to make me be with her."

Taylor scoffed, "I've done no such thing."

Micah pinched her again and this time she squealed. "The fact that you talked all proper just now to deny it, proves you have been princess. You've been pushing her and I into situations with each other. Hell you've pursuing her yourself, don't think I haven't noticed Tay. I love you Taylor, so I'm always gonna be here, but maybe she needs a break. Maybe she doesn't like the idea of being pushed with me," Micah looked away almost sadly, but as quickly as the hurt over took his features, it was replaced with anger. "I don't even know where it's come from. We've been together for two, almost three years. Do you suddenly not want me is that it? Trying to get with her or make me be with her, so we aren't together anymore. We can't use her like that."

Taylor sighed and sat up once again, "Shut up Micah. You sound stupid, of course not, I love the both of you and I'd never use her. Micah, I do what I do not to get rid of you. I do it cause I see the way you look at her, I know how you feel about her..." She watched Micah's features pale. "I know you think of her sometimes...I know it's not innocent. And I know despite what you say, you don't think of her like a sister. You just got jealous of her being with another guy just now for crying out loud."

Micah was quick to defend himself with cheeks that were far past pink. It was a nice color of him. "I don't! What makes you think I like her? I'm not even-I don't even feel anything..." He flustered more as Taylor smirked down at him and he sat up for leverage.

"I don't like her. And I was only jealous cause-what am I saying!? I'm not jealous. I just don't like that guy using her. No one deserves that." He huffed.

And Taylor giggled, "Oh dude, you are so into her. You're into her green eyes. Into her long brown hair...and her lips..she has really full lips..." She kept going as the redness rose to his ears and his breathing levels went up. "Micah you seem nervous? Is that it? Let me guess you like her lips? Or no, you like other things?"

Micah groaned and shifted besides her, "What about less physical things like her personality or her cute little laugh?" He froze as he realized his mistake, " I mean-"

"Ohhh, so you think her laugh is cute? And you love her personality?" Taylor said with a infectious laugh and soon Micah was laughing too.

"Tayloooorrr." Micah blushed again when she smiled suggestively at him. "Stop it."

Taylor giggled. "Okay okay. But admit you think she's cute."

Micah smiled, "Okay fine she's cute ish. Doesn't mean I like her though."

Taylor narrowed her eyes, "Oh really? Well want to know why I'm worried about her? Because she hasn't texted me since she went to the party just to make sure in her 'subtle way' that we aren't gonna be there."

Micah leaned back against the headboard, "So? What's that gotta do with me? I'm not her boy friend, I'm yours. She doesn't even have a boy friend." He sounded quite smug about that fact.

Taylor smiled innocently, "Yeah, you're my boy friend. She doesn't have one. Can you imagine her at that party single?"

Micah's body tensed. Taylor smothered a laugh. 'Got him,' she thought.

"I wonder what she's wearing." Taylor fake pondered. "I know you're probably thinking you don't care, but can imagine if she's wearing something skimpy."

Micah popped wider, "I hardly think she'd-"

"Micah babe I don't know. I think she could be wearing anything. You know it's Matt's party right?"

"Matt's? Don't his parties have-"

"-a skimpy dress code?" Taylor laughed, "Oh hell yeah. She's probably in shorts and a cute top...unless she's like in a short dress. I know she had that blue one? Remember that one she brought at the store when she was shopping with us?"

"I remember." Micah's voice had gotten extremely deep. She smothered another laugh, he was so cute.

"Damn, if she's wearing that then guys would be ALL over her. And like you said she's single.-" Micah growled and she went on, "God I hope she's not drinking. All those boys around. She gets so playful when she's tipsy, but drunk? She gets frisky."

Micah's jaw flexed, "They'd take advantage of her." Taylor spoke, "Well I mean it's not like she wouldn't want it...that's why I'm worried. Imagine those stupid fuck boys. Their hands would be all over her and she'd be showing skin."

Micah pulled away from her abruptly and stood up. He pulls his keys from the nightstand by her bed, "That's it. We are going to fucking find her right now."

Taylor stares at him as he looks at her frantically, "Tay come on!"

"Pretty bold moves from someone who doesn't like a girl."

Micah runs his hands through his hair a common sign of his for being anxious, "A friend could-"

"Micah!" Taylor cut him off. "Okay fine Taylor. I like her but I'm with you, and she's not even-"

"I doubt that. I doubt that a lot."

"I'm not good enough for her." He sighed and clutched his key harder. "I use to be the exact type of her person that hurt her. She's a hopeless romantic who just...Tay, I use to be such a player. I was-"

Taylor kissed him silent, then pulled away. She grabbed his arm and sat on her knees at the edge of the bed, "So was I. But we are together. Both of us our different now. Neither of us deserved her before. That's why she was our friend Micah. That's why we found each." She ran her hand down his cheek as he tilted his head down, "But we are together now. We can't try to be with her, it wouldn't be fair. No matter how much I-"

Taylor interrupted him, "-we. We both want her. But...I understand. But she wants us back, I know she does. She hides it better than you do that's for sure, but it's cause she doesn't know. She can be the most analytical person ever and she could read other people so easily, but when it comes to stuff involving her she's so damn oblivious."

Micah chuckled fondly, "How do you know she's just not interested. We are exactly alike, maybe we are too much for her."

Taylor smirked, "Are you kidding? She likes us most definitely. How could she not? And who would say no two being offered two different people? I know my best friend trust me." Taylor rapped her arms around Micah's neck and smiled at him, "She thinks she's got it all figured out, she doesn't want us to corrupt it, she doesn't want us to not want her back. We are together after all. It's why she hasn't said anything. She cares about us just as much if not more than we care about us. Her heart is big enough to love us, trust me."

Micah leaned his head on her chest. "Why are you stopping me from getting her back here. With us. If she's not convinced, I wanna show her. We can show her we can take care of her. I can show her that I can take care of both of you."

Taylor smiled into his hair, "Something tells me you've been holding that in for a long time." She giggled when he groaned into her breast, "You know it would've been a lot easier to claim her as yours if you admitted you actually wanted her as yours to begin with." He groaned again.

Taylor sighed, "Micah we can't go to her cause that would make it worse. If she's separating herself from us like you said, than if we suddenly barge in-"

Micah growled on her chest and slid his hand between her bare midsection between her cotton shorts and sports bra, "Barge in on what? She's ours. Mine."

Taylor smiled in full agreement of his words, but she had to disagree with him before he got carried away, "Slow down hot shot. She's not ours, not yet. And that's not what I meant. If we try to force her out of the party it'll upset her. And you know her when she's mad." Micah bursted out laughing.

"Yeah she's something." He toyed with the bottom of her sports bra. He softly bit the top skin of her breast that popped from her bra and then looked up at her, piercing her with his cool electric colored eyes, "You are too, princess. Just cause I love her, doesn't mean I don't still love you. You're my world." She pulled his head up to her level and pressed her lips to his with a lack of words to say.

With his lips against hers, he pushed her back flat onto the bed. His hands swept down her sides awaking up all her nerves. Micah nipped at her bottom lip and let his tongue slide over it soothingly. With a hiss he rolls his hips down on hers and she pants below him. He pulls back and she leans up and attacks her lips to his upper neck mouthing against him as he sharply grabs her hips for control over himself.

He pulls back a little and out of breath he whispers her name, "T-Tay." Taylor trails her lips to his ear, "I know Mickey. I know. I love you too." He stares down at her adoringly and she leans back. She's quite a sight. Her short platinum straight her falls gracefully and effortlessly around her fair skin. She's panting and her breast rise and fall with every breathe she takes hypnotizing Micah. Her pupils are blown wide and her grey eyes are dark with lust. With cheeks painted rose, she smiled at him. God, Micah loved her. There were very few girls who would be okay to know that their boyfriend were secretly in love with both them and their best friends.

Micah couldn't help falling for Rory being similar yet different to Taylor in every way possible; both of them being everything he ever wanted. And now knowing he could actually have both of them. His heart soared in his chest. 'He'd make sure he'd treat them both perfectly, they were everything to him,' Micah thought. 'He'd be damned if anyone laid a finger or tried to hurt either of his girls.' Micah reached across the counter and dropped his keys and picked up the phone instead. He calmly handed it to Taylor. "Call her princess. Make her come back to us."

***

Unknown to them, Rory was a lot closer than either of them thought.

Much like Taylor had joked, Rory was in the dark tight blue dress that she had bought with Taylor and Micah. Thinking about the experience had her checks flushing. Standing in Edge Look and being forced into the dressing room by Taylor as Micah sat to the side and watched her get manhandled with a smirk had her wanting to kill best friend. But it was walking out of the dressing room in the dress was the most embarrassing thing. Shuffling in the dress barefoot against the carpet floor as both her best friend and her best friend's boy friend had fallen silent and started at her with wide intense eyes. They had looked her like...

Rory shook her head, no, it wasn't that at all. She had long convinced herself that the grey and blue eyes that had stared at her with an almost unrecognizable emotion had simply been surprise and approval of the dress; and not of the girl in the dress. Similarly to how she had convinced herself that if she put on the dress, despite the fact that Taylor had convince Micah to buy it for her, she would most definitely regret it. And she definitely regret putting it on.

Bryan, a boy in her advance calculus, had stopped her after class to asked her to come to this party that another one of her classmates (Matthew-she thought his name was) was holding. A lot had been bothering her lately regarding her best friends and she was almost going to say no. Till one of those said best friends turned the corner near the end of the hallway and glared daggers at Bryan hand was on her arm. That to be quite frank pissed her off, they had no right to treat her like a baby who couldn't handle herself. Thus quickly changing her mind. She needed some time to regroup herself away from her best friends anyways. Her friends, Taylor and Micah were dating and they were driving her nuts.

Despite the fact they were dating they seemed to draw close to her and bring out the most elicit reactions out her that she still refuse to even acknowledge. But if she didn't back up from the golden couple, Mr. And Mrs. Prom King and Queen, she was gonna lose it. They were so perfect for each other and it wasn't fair that they should feel guilty about how they felt for one other simply because Rory had stupidly caught feelings for both of her best friend. It was much easier to pretend she wasn't jealous when she wasn't around the couple who seemed to forever be on gushy mode and couldn't keep their hands off each other. It made her sick. Hell she was sick, to have feelings for two people so strongly who were complete different genders and were dating each other. It was completely unethical. This is what prompted her answer to Bryan to be yes. Bryan was a shaggy haired blonde boy with light blue eyes, he was cute and he was interested. She needed to get over both her crushes so she agreed to go to the party and meet him there.

That whole day she avoided her friends, and only texted Taylor before going to the party. 'They were "It" couple after all,' Rory thought bitterly. So of course it was possible they were going to be there, so she had to make sure. But according to Taylor, her single working mother had taken a 2 week long business trip and both her siblings had left earlier to their friends houses, giving Taylor the house to herself. Both Taylor and Micah had taken advantage of the alone time.

'Probably in her room.' Rory sulked at the time. This made her more determined than ever to go to the party and have fun without either of them, and most definitely not think about anything they could be doing in Taylor's room alone with no parental supervision.

That itself had been a mistake. Going to the party that is. Rory knew she hated parties. Or at least hated going to them with out Taylor to make fun of people with and Micah to ward off all the annoying drunk party goers, mostly male. It hadn't been that bad at first. She had gotten there and while the music was loud and the house had been in full party mode, it was almost hypnotic. She had grabbed a red cup and had drank herself tipsy in boredom cause while she wasn't irritated with the party, Bryan hadn't seemed to want to show himself. She had eventually gotten bored of standing in a corner watching people grind and basically have sex with each other out on the dance floor, if you could call the living room a dance floor. She began to walk around with stumbled steps and was actually genuinely surprised and hurt to see Bryan playing tongue hockey with a some girl in the kitchen.

'Damn,' she thought. 'Had her willingness to get over her best friends convinced that this guy had actually been interested in her. Ha, he invited her to a freaking party that should've been her first guess.'

Bryan had pulled back from the girl and had proceeded to try to grab Rory in some form of apology. "R-Rory. Baby-"

"Um no. Don't call me baby, I'm not your baby. I think you got me confused with that girl who had your tongue down her throat." Rory slightly slurred and stumbled as she stepped back. "H-have fun by the way." She turned on her heel and walked straight out the party. She then proceeded to call herself an uber, because she wasn't a moron.

When asked where to take her Rory made the biggest mistake of her entire existence, well at least she thinks so. She gave the driver Taylor's address. Rory cussed to herself as she stared up at the tan colored two story house before her. Before she could turn and tell her driver, who she already paid, that she made a mistake and to take her home he had already drove away. Rory sighed and looked to the sky. This was another mistake, cause being tipsy didn't exactly make her balanced and she felt her head sway and she barely caught herself before she tumbled into the pavement of Taylor's driveway. Rory groaned, 'Taylor's driveway, Taylor's front yard, Taylor's house.' She giggled, life had a way with fucking with her

Her phone went off and Rory jumped in surprise and blinked when she saw Taylor's home phone pop up as the caller ID.

Rory clicked the answer button and smiled, "Hellooooo!"

***

Taylor leaned down in anticipation after putting the call on speaker and flinched back at Rory's loud scream.

"Rory? Bae, are you okay?"

Taylor's stomach clenched when she heard Rory giggle, "Hiii best friend!"

Micah slid up beside her and leaned his bare chest on Taylor's nearly bare back. "Tay, I think she's drunk. Shit I knew we should've went to get her."

Rory giggled, "Nuh uh. I'm tipsssy."

Micah sat forward and leaned down to the phone, "Baby where are you? I'm coming to get you."

"Sillyyyyy. I'm hereeeee."

Micah's eyes furrowed, "What? Baby girl stop playing. Where are you?"

"I'm not a baby." Rory whined petulantly, "Stahhhp it. H-He...he called me that. No."

Micah growled lowly, "Who called you that?"

"B-Bry...um..Bryan...umm are you mad?"

Taylor sucked her teeth, "I knew he was trying to talk to her." Taylor raised her voice for Rory to hear her, "Roar don't let him touch you! We are coming tell us where you are."

Rory made a loud bleh noise. "Nooo. B-Bryan is..is t-touching someone else." And Rory sighed as if she was talking to two 5 year old that would not listen and spoke slowly, "I s-said I'm here sillyyy."

Micah stood off the bed and walked away in frustration and Taylor groaned in irritation. Dammit why wouldn't Rory just tell them where she-

"Oh shit." Micah exclaimed. Taylor's head snapped up to look at the dark haired boy standing by the window looking down, "Princess, she's actually here. She's dancing in the grass." Micah let out an incredulous laugh and whispered, "Thank god," before rushing out the door and down the stairs. Taylor was quick on his tail. When they reached outside Rory was no longer in the grass dancing, but instead in front of the door humming with a dreamy smile.

"Hiiiii besties. Took you long e-enough." Rory hiccuped and stumbled past them and with wobbly feet began to race her away upstairs. "Jesus," Micah raced after her and began to help her up the stairs. She stumbled for a few seconds and nearly hit a wall once she reached the second floor, but Taylor straightened her and lead Rory to her room. Micah promptly pushed the door open and watched amused as Taylor lead a now struggling protesting Rory to the bed.

Honestly, it was less leading and more pulling and dragging from Taylor's part, with added retreating and whimpering from Rory. Taylor finally gave up and stood straight allowing Rory to slump against her and bury her head between Taylor's neck and shoulder.

"Dammit Rory, why won't you lay down?"

Rory mumbled something briefly onto Taylor's neck and Taylor shivered as it touched her through. "W-What? Bae, I can't hear you." Taylor regretted this instantly as Rory rapped her arms around her neck and pressed tightly into her putting Taylor and Rory body to body. She moved her soft lips next to Taylor's ear and let out a soft whimper and Taylor's thighs clenched. Rory delicately ran her hand over her bare sides and up to her breast, sliding her finger innocently over Taylor's sports bra. Her finger felt hot, so hot. Taylor could feel them through the fabric. She could feel them slide over her nipples. "Fuck," Taylor moaned and gripped her sides tightly as Rory ran her lips on Taylor's ear slowly.

"I'm not tired."

Rory's voice snapped her back to reality. 'Shit,' Taylor thought. 'Rory drives me crazy and I almost just lost control.' Taylor looked up and by the door Micah stood with a fist clenched tightly on the knob and teeth digging into his bottom lip, his eyes were dark with lust. "Fuck, Taylor." Micah voice was beyond deep and was dripping arousal, "Let me take her..." He cleared throat, "I mean, let me put her to bed. I can handle her."

Micah walked up behind her and lifted the small brunette into his arms in a bridal position, "Come on baby girl. To bed with you before you drive my princess crazy. Little minx." Micah smiled softly when Rory rapped her hands around his neck and giggled. 'Ha,' Micah thought. She actually wasn't fighting him and letting him take care of her. And Micah loved to take care of her as Rory so rarely let him.

He laid her down gently and turned when she heard Taylor digging around in her dresser. She pulled out pajama shorts and a tank top, "I'm gonna change her into this."

"R-Right now? Change her now?" Micah cleared her throat and as he was distracted Rory whimpered at no longer being paid attention to. From her place laying on the bed, Rory raised her legs up and rapped them around Micah's waist and her arms around his neck. "Mickeyyy." She whined and raised her hips up to his shifting. Micah was sure he was losing his mind at the delicate hypnotizing up and down movement of her crotch against his through his sweatpants and her hand trailing down his bare back. "R-Rory," he groaned. "Ugh baby, you gotta-" he panted as her nails dug into his back and her lips into his neck. 'What was with her and putting her lips all over them when she was tipsy?' Micah thought, 'Taylor wasn't kidding about Rory being frisky.'

"Kitten," he groaned and his mind nearly snapped when he heard Rory moaned below him and Taylor whimper behind him, both of them shifting in place. Abruptly, Rory pulled him down completely on the bed and rolled him to her other side. Taylor couldn't help the laugh at the comical sight of small 5'3 drunk Rory, pulling a 6'3 sober and surprised Micah down into the bed. Micah bounced from his place on the bed and blinked in shock, "How the f-"

Rory shushed him promptly and cuddled into his bare chest, "Sleepy Mickey." Micah couldn't help the warmth in his blood at the cute nickname Rory whispered, that Taylor sometimes called him. He softly petted her hair wavy brown hair till she slipped into sleep. Taylor had long moved to the edge of the bed and sat and watched the amazing display before. Two of the the most important people in her world were together before her eyes and she couldn't help beaming. Taylor crawled up and told Mickey to roll Rory over slightly towards him. With her body rolled to the side, Taylor pulled the zipper down letting her finger graze against the olive smooth skin of Rory's back.

Micah watched with electric eyes blazing hot like a blue fire. Taylor pulled the dress off Rory's shoulders and looks at Micah with a pointed look for the sake of her best friends modesty. Micah stared back at determined. She could beat him with a pillow he wasn't taking his eyes off either of them. Taylor broke under his intense stare. No one had a look quite like Micah she realized. With a resigned sigh she proceeded to pull the blue dress down and both her and Micah sucked in a breath at Rory's breast covered by a black lace bra. Taylor quickly slid her tank top onto Rory's arms and over her head, before she and her boy friend lost their nerve. She continued to pull it down off Rory's legs and pulled off her flats as well.

Taylor and Micah chuckled together, even with a dress like that Rory refused to wear heals. Micah trailed his hands down Rory's bare thighs and sighed, "God cupcake, I can't wait till she ours. I can't wait till the both of my kittens are mine." He slid his hands slightly and watched his large fingers on her thick thighs. "Fuck I want you both." He watched Taylor slide her pants up her legs.

After this Taylor and Micah fixed Rory on the left side of the bed and covered her. They watched her shuffle for warmth till Micah slid in the middle again and she settled as she felt his skin and cuddled back into him. Taylor giggled at the soft look on Micah's face and blushed when he looked at her in an indecent manner much like usual when they were alone. "Close the light princess. Lay on my other side, I wanna have both my girls in my arms."

She quickly followed instructions and in the dark made her way into the bed on the right side. With one arms Micah pulled her close and pressed his lips to hers. "You guys are gonna drive me crazy, babe." Taylor rolled her eyes, "We aren't even doing anything."

Micah pulled his hands from around and led Taylor's hand to his crotch and rubbed against his hard bulge. "You guys do everything to me. You feel that baby?" Taylor gasped and felt liquid pool in her underwear, "Y-yea." She began to move her hand down against him thought his sweats and was fairly certain he wasn't wearing any briefs or boxers underneath. "Oh god." Micah groaned and pushed his hips up into her palm and Taylor rubbed hardly as he panted. They almost lost themselves till Rory shifted besides them and they both froze. "Later," Micah panted. "Later when she's awake and aware. I want you both. I want you to touch me. I want you to make her touch me too."

Taylor moaned softly and leaned down into his neck. Her legs shifted against his. "Okay. Okay I will."

"Good. Sleep now baby." Micah whispered and ran his hand through Taylor's hair luring her to sleep much like Rory. Micah smiled at his two babies finally his. He let the breathing of them both lure him into slumber and drifted away with the word "mine" on his mind.

A/N:

Hey guys. So that was it! It was a story once upon a time that I was gonna fully write out. There was tons of scenarios on how it went but if it wasn’t clear by now.... it was a “Thruple” or “Ménage a Trois” relationship. Basically a closed monagomous relationship of three. Well the development TO THAT status, as far as when the story starts off.

The idea of it and the complications and the love and just all of it, is something I would still love to write and explore...I feel like I wrote this when I was young and there was a lack of representation in my cast, as well as some problematic💀 wild elements. But it was still mine ya know? And for being 15, my writing wasn’t that bad ya know? I feel like I’m sorta getting better, but sometimes I’m like lol it’s the same shit just prettier words. But this piece was 100% unedited! So I’m proud even with the mistakes and other stuff.

Follows the story of this girl nerdy girl Rory... who fell hopelessly for her popular best friend Taylor. And then got blindsided by her crush on equally popular devil-may-care (lol) Micah, Taylor’s to-be boyfriend. Lmao thinking back this entire concept is wild and kind of ironic in the worst way. Anyways. I thought the story of their romance like all of them was really cute. And there was multiple versions. Some of them falling for each other in different orders and them being much older in life sometimes younger, but this happened. Idk. I’m equally extremely proud and crippling embarrassed for having created this absolute brilliant garbage.

But anyways I hope you guys enjoyed it!❣️ May have more random little things I wrote for me to post. As embarrassing and wild as they all were.

I was really out her writing since I was like 7. And I only started to branch out more on paper and stuff, when I was like 10 and had my DSI. And I made visual comic art stories on Flipnote (those were the days!) and then I joined wattpad and started writing with my cousin at 11 or 12. And the rest was history. *Sigh* Memory lane is great.

Thanks for reading💗

Signed, Erikawritesss

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naruhearts · 5 years

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OKAY SO I've just spent the best part of an hour scrolling through your blog and reading a bunch of your destiel meta and I HAD to message you... I was one of the many people who STRONGLY believed destiel had a chance of being canon after season 8 (more like season gr8 am i right), but throughout the years I slowly lost all hope. However, S14 has made me 110% invested in the show again and YOUR META IS GIVING ME HOPE FOR DESTIEL, which is TERRIFYING. Your writing is wonderful and I'm STRESSED.

Got back from Washington late last night!

Oh my gosh @alovelikecas, your message really made my day and I’m SO glad you enjoy my meta xox (even when most of my meta looks like, to me, sloppy-ass writing, haha! I’ll probably make an end-season meta post after 14x20 — if I have the time — that touches upon SPN’s current and repeating themes since Season New Beginnings S12/Dabb Era, not to mention I have, like, some more unfinished meta in my drafts >.>)

Yeah I mean, I didn’t join Destiel land until Summer 2016, and before that, I was late to the Season 11 party, so I basically had no narrative context for anything, and I’ll copy-paste what I said here:

Looking back, one significant thing I recall? S11 gave me a sense of Destiel’s true narrative validity (as not a ‘fanon’ ship but organically developed in the canon) when I perceived it as a season that was ‘missing something’. Keep in mind I had no idea about Destiel yet while watching S11 at the time.

I was literally asking myself — repeatedly — why Dean/Amara seemed to contain odd narrative holes, considering A. Dean explicitly said that the non-consensual attraction he felt for Amara was NOT love and “it scares him”, B. Amara told Dean that ‘something stops you - keeps you from having it all’, C. Djinn!Amara stated that she can: ‘feel the love [Dean] feels, except it’s cloaked in shame,’ and D. Mildred’s iconic ‘You’re pining for someone’ —> which did not logically correlate with A and C, meaning: since Dean doesn’t freely love Amara and thus isn’t possibly pining for her — with female love interests as currently non-existent (I remember crossing off the dead/gone girls on a piece of paper lol) — who the hell was he pining for, then?

Originally posted by elizabethrobertajones

Obviously, without writing long-ass paragraphs of meta about it again in this post, S11 made sense as soon as I watched it within the Destiel context (especially after I read up on some grandiose pieces of Destiel meta (@charlie-minion was the very first person who inspired me to write meta; I followed her once I joined the fandom Oh my god, here we go, holy crap this subtext – I’m invested in this godforsaken ship because they’re in love with each other and I’m not getting off any time soon. The rest is history.

I’m aware that I do come off as positive (and I’m still Destiel-positive; whatever happens in 14x20 this week may or may not change that), but I hope you don’t mind if I use your lovely ask as an additional opportunity to clarify my meta standpoint: no one’s saying Destiel WILL become text.

The general Destiel meta community (all subfactions: Destiel-positive, -negative, -neutral, and in-between) is not the Most Holy Canon Word, and we aren’t SPN writers, and again, we can’t actually speak to the veracity of Destiel as guaranteed-gonna-go-textual, but we — a diverse pool of critical thinkers from all walks of life: particularly those who have some degree of experience in literary academia/English literature studies (fun fact: I was actually pursuing a Minor’s in English until I changed my mind - my first love’s Health Science/Biology, which I stuck with, but here I am doing lit-crit analysis on the side *wink*) — can speak to the veracity of Destiel as a real, palpable, and ever-substantial long-running romance narrative aka the love story between Dean and Cas IS THERE. I see it. We all see it. We didn’t pluck it out of the random ether one day. It naturally evolved across the show’s overarching narrative like some vast spiderweb, linked together by numerous character arc amalgamations of Dean Winchester and Castiel as separate individuals who were then brought together — who brought themselves together, by the sheer force of free will and choice — and are now inherent parts of the other’s story (and respective character progression).

I say this too many times to count: the entire point of writing meta? Personally, it enables me to appreciate the literary gorgeousness of Dean and Cas’ relationship as, first and foremost, a tentative alliance offset by the very moment Cas raised Dean from perdition (it’s a poetic beginning). Their alliance then inevitably proliferated into a rocky — at times, necessarily turbulent — friendship, then a deep profound bond…one that crossed platonic boundaries since S7/8 and is, ultimately, indelibly rooted in romance. Together, Dean and Cas build up each other’s strengths, complement each other’s flaws, and narratively motivate the other to self-introspect — to become the best version of themselves that they were always meant to be: self-actualized entities who let go of their painful, horrifying, psychologically/emotionally destitute pasts.

These above reasons and more are why I think Destiel belongs right up there on the shelf of Ye Olde Classics, similar to epics by John Milton, Shakespearian tragic dramas, Homeric characteristic cruxes, and the great Odyssey journey: a legendary journey, fraught with circumstance, that finally ended with Odysseus (now an enlightened man) returning to Penelope, the love of his life.

Channeling the scope of Homer’s Odyssey, Destiel is an incredible storytelling feat of obstacles, both internal and external, romance tropes, mirroring, foreshadowing, and visual cadence/emotion, enhancing SPN’s already character-driven main plot in that Dean and Cas try to make it back to one another; like Penelope, their love holds true despite everything. If Destiel were an M/F couple, we all know their love story would be absolutely undeniable to the GA.

I do understand the bitterness S14’s fostered in some viewers, though. I do understand that Dean and Cas seem distant (and yeah, it’s a noticeable difference compared to S12/S13), but I believe the Destiel subtext is still heavy and holds steady.

Right now, at this point, there remains multiple personal issues for the characters to solve, you know? Dean and Cas aren’t talking properly; their love languages stay mistranslated, although we’re persistently shown that they still understand each other on a certain level that no one else can, and the visual narrative keeps framing them as on-the-nose solid counterparts: a domestic-spousal romantic unit independent of Sam.

Originally posted by incatastrophicmind

They want to be there for the other. They need to quash the final remnants of their respective internal loathing (Dean’s self-worthiness, Cas’ self-expendability) before they’re able to give the other 100% of their time, efforts, attention, and love (as flawed and complicated but compellingly beautiful as it can possibly be). During the times Dean and Cas do try to talk shit out, extraneous issues continue to get between them.

As other friends/meta pals discussed with me, S14 is like S10 in that it’s confusing the cast/audiences. And exactly: S8, besides S11/S12/early S13, also belongs in the close-to-canon serious Destiel narrative transition! I can discuss the showrunning/writer problem of SBL (Singer + Bucklemming; @occamshipper hits the nail on the head) that tugs subtext – especially subtext linked to Destiel – back and forth, sometimes in the weirdest nonsensical ways, but I won’t go too far into it here. I agree, however, with the recent idea that Jensen does seem a bit confused as to where he should bring Dean emotionally this season (don’t get me wrong, I do NOT believe Dean is OOC; OOC is a completely different concept vs expected character behaviour). And if Dean’s consistently romance-coded past interactions with Cas are any indication, Jensen would also — in the same vein as all of us — want Dean and Cas to start getting their shit together. Long-running fictional characters like Dean and Cas, conceived over 10 years, are so well-written to the point where you, the author, can predict what they’ll do even if you just plop both of them inside a room and give them no direction, and I personally feel that nowadays Jensen is prevented from achieving Dean’s further internal growth/unsure how to act in the moment because of some dumb SBL scripts saying one thing while his character’s heart says another. Wank aside—

Season 15 should hopefully convey a much more logical subtextual perspective e.g. unbelievably amazingly cohesive Season Destiel 11 that aired after choppy S10. Not all hope is lost!! I also want to clarify that I personally LOVED Season 14 in general. It’s been mostly Emotion-centric constant, with Yockey, Berens, Perez, and Dabb usually making my top-rank SPN writer list.

Currently the narrative’s still allowing pretty significant (imho) wiggle room for the lovers to fracture apart and get back together, where their miscommunication comes to a dramatic head. We just saw Dean and Cas argue over Jack’s well-being in 14x18 and 19. Dean — besides putting Cas at the top of his You’re-Dead-to-Me-Because-You-Lied-but-I-Still-Love-You-Goddammit hitlist (for clear spousal-coded reasons) and taking Cas’ actions to heart (he’s the person he trusted the most who lied to him) — no doubt blamed himself for what happened, and Sam was, like I said, the mouthpiece of truth. TFW were all culpable. They all failed Jack in some way, shape, or form.

I’m not expecting anything for 14x20, but I’m nervous either way! Thanks for sticking with my long answer

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littlebitofbass · 7 years

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Hi Jen! I'm a new ed fan and lately some people in my country's fandom started being really mean towards new fans. There's a M&G contest and I don't want to participate because old sheerios say that since I'm a new fan I don't deserve it. I'd really love to meet Ed, I've discovered him late, but also at the perfect time, right after I've experience one of the most difficult things in my 25 years. I feel like I'm so late to the party, and that I'm really bad fan :(

New fan pt.2 Circumstances in my life cause me to shut down from things I enjoyed when I was young, by the end of 2016 I was really depressed and then he come back. Thanks to my 15-year-old niece I started listening to him more, first ÷ and then obviously fell in love with + and x (speacially +) I just didn’t know there was so much more than TOL. Now I’m trying to listen and learn everthing I can. Your blog has been very helpful, thanks for spreading your Ed wisdom to newbies like me

Hello! I’m so sorry that other fans have made your experience here rough. I honestly think there is no bad time to discover Ed’s music. It only makes sense that we all come across different things at different times. You can’t help when you find something, and there’s no way to speed up or slow down the process, especially if you don’t know what it is you’re looking for until after you find it. You know? And just because someone randomly discovers a thing before or after you do, that doesn’t have anything at all to do with whether or not they’re a “good” fan or “deserve” anything more than any other fan. Let me show you one of my favorite things Ed himself has ever said about becoming a fan:

He actually tweeted that a little before I discovered him myself, but it used to get shared around all the time. Back when this fandom was a bit smaller and more welcoming, I guess. But the point is that we’re not and never have been some sort of exclusive club with rankings based on how long we’ve been around, and anyone who treats this fandom like it’s a thing that’s not allowed to grow and change or thinks new fans shouldn’t be allowed the same opportunities as older fans is trying to make this whole thing into something other than what it is. The truth is there’s no hierarchy here. No one is even running this place like an organized group. We’re literally just a big crowd of people who all like the same music, and everyone here holds exactly the same level of importance as everyone else. Trying to assign more significance to some of the people in the crowd than others is pointless and silly. I suppose the fans you’re talking about just want to feel like they are special… but I think there are only two ways to look at it: either no one here is special, or everyone is. I prefer the second one. :)

If it makes you feel any better, though. You’re not alone in your experience. There are actually quite a lot of people from a lot of different countries who feel the same way as you – that because they’re new, that makes them bad fans. Nothing could be further from the truth! There’s also a lot of pressure to learn everything you can learn about Ed and his older music as quickly as possible so people won’t think you’re… fake, I guess? But something to keep in mind - both for older and newer fans - is that no one can instantly know everything there is to know about something as soon as they find it. You know? And “testing” people on their knowledge of older stuff just so you can judge them is mean and uncalled for.

I remember I went to a concert once in 2013, and it was a One Direction concert but I was wearing an Ed Sheeran t-shirt, and since I went to the concert alone I tried to talk to the girls who were sitting behind me. One of them noticed my shirt and immediately started testing me to see if I was a “real” Ed fan, like asking me my favorite song off Loose Change, clearly expecting me not to have ever listened to anything but +. She was impressed with my answer, but gosh it made me angry that she thought it mattered, like I wasn’t worthy of wearing Ed on my shirt if I only knew The A Team and Lego House. Which is so not the case. If you like Ed’s music – any of it! – then you should feel proud to wear his merch, not wary that some stuck-up person is going to give you an exam. Coincidentally, that was the same day that Ed had followed me on twitter, and I didn’t have a smart phone at the time and hadn’t talked to anyone about it – I was still a little bit shocked over it, really – so I told the girl just so I’d have someone to fangirl with, and right away she pulled out her phone to check and see if I was lying. :/

I think we probably all have experiences like this within our fandom. I like to say that we’re a big group of great people, and I do think that there are tons of great people around here, but there are also people like this girl, and like the fans that have given you a hard time. It doesn’t stop once you’re not new anymore, either. I’ve been around for a while and I get hassled online all the time. Every day, actually. I mostly don’t post the shitty messages I get, but I can’t remember the last time I checked my inbox and didn’t have at least one message either insulting me or insulting Ed or someone close to him. Some of them are super easy to ignore, like the ones that just say “fat” and “stupid” but there are also those passive-aggressive messages from people who hate you specifically but whose friends probably wouldn’t consider them a troll, questions intentionally designed to make you feel bad by playing on insecurities, the kind that are like, “Don’t you think that Ed probably finds you annoying?” or “Your last post made me cringe. Aren’t you embarrassed that Ed might see it?” or even, “Why do you think your opinion on his music even matters to anyone? Just curious.” Of course, those answers are 1. No 2. Nope and 3. Literally someone asked me my opinion, but I tend to immediately delete the question and/or block the user and pretend they never existed because I refuse to let some anonymous asshole take up space on my blog with their horse shit. Sometimes I also turn off anon asks for a while when that happens (which is what I’ve done now).

I guess what I’m saying is… some people are mean. Some people think it’s acceptable to treat others poorly. And just because we like the same music doesn’t mean we’re going to get along all the time. But you can’t let that sort of thing stop you from being you, doing what you like to do, and enjoying the good experiences that also come from being in Ed’s fandom – like winning a meet and greet if you can. I promise you will be able to find other fans in your country who aren’t rude. Maybe they will end up being your best friends! Just please don’t let the haters affect your sense of self worth. You’re better than that.

#reply #fandom

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