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#like idk what i expected other than that but damn ok
starrysharks · 8 months
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tried to test the waters by asking my mother what she would do if she had a gay child and she said that she'd have them sent to ghana (home country) to be purified. ok
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emypony · 6 months
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#damn babygirl i wish people checked up on me more#this self conscious catgirl is so tired#sometimes i WISH people just came into my dms to ask me if im ok#i do it constantly to others because i hope theyre not as sad as i am feeling in that moment#genuinely afraid to have made someone feel bad and drive them away from me#and omg i feel nyself running thin again just bc im afraid to lose the interactions we have altogether because i cant process certain media#in a healthy way whatsoever and i get super hung up on thinfs that really dont matter that much in the end#YEAH IM RAMBLING IT'S 5:30 AM AND I COULD BE SLEEPING RIGHT NOW BUT INSTEAD IM JUST CRYING FOR A STUPID REASON!!#i think ive only had one person check up on me based off the vibes in chat i gave off alone in the past couple of months#which was baffling and surreal btw and i think it broke something within me#it came from someone i wouldve never expected to even notice because sometimes it feels like its such a vast difference between us#i sometimes even wonder how are we friends in the first place#like do i even deserve to call this person my friend do they feel like that? or are we just discord acquaintances?#anyway all this just made me sad and my dumb ass is crying and yearning to be loved by my online peers thats all lol. meows pathetically#idk i guess i just.want to hear / see it more rather than just teying to tell myself that over and over hoping im not deluding myself abt i#personal#sorry for the emotions dump idk whats wrong with me tonight actually#me having to come to terms with the reality that i actually have a following and this might get boticed by more than 2 ppl#bc not everyone follows 3k blogs like i am :skull emoji: yknow#im probably gonna delete later because im actually a super self conscious person to the point i get nauseatingly anxious about it holy shit#i dont vent often and im 120% keeping it in but when i do oh boy#the dam bursts and im left like a sopping wet dog on the floor looking like a sad blob#which i am feeling like right now!#vent#emy rambles#ALSO LIKE THIS ISNT TO SAY IM NOT GRATEFUL FOR MY FRIENDS OMG I AM#k really am#sometimes its still like. idk. unbelievable to me that people are genuinely interacting with me and the things i write or headcanon#and i shouldn't expect them to know whats wrong with me or if i feel bad if i dont say it or communicate that to them#but yknow one can yearn
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lovelyjj · 5 months
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hey there! I was wondering if you could do one where reader is John B's sister and he knows that JJ and her have a thing for each other but he won't allow it. Then something happens where she needs comforted and JJ gets to her first and John B realizes that JJ does really love her..? or something idk 😍💕
John B’s Sister
jj maybank x reader
wc: 2.6k
*some bits of dialogue is from season 1: episode 1*
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The music was blasting. The party was in full swing at the boneyard. You were at the center dancing your heart out. JJ was watching you longingly. John B was right next to him overseeing JJ’s actions.
“Don’t even think about it,” John B warned.
“Think about what?” JJ questioned.
“Dancing with Y/N.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it mate,” JJ retorted.
“Right.”
“I’m gonna get another drink,” JJ shared.
When JJ went to the drink area he ran into you. You were getting yourself a drink and taking a break from dancing. You were all sweaty but JJ thought you looked ethereal.
“Here let me,” JJ filled your cup up with beer and handed it to you. Your fingers brushed against each other’s when he handed you the cup. You felt sparks shoot through you at the contact.
“Thanks,” you smiled.
“You look really pretty,” JJ commented.
“You think so?”
“Yeah I do,” JJ smiled.
“Thank you.”
“I’d ask you to dance but John B would have a cow,” JJ laughed.
“Aw screw him!” you voiced.
“Are we really gonna let John B become between us?” JJ spoke.
“He’s my brother JJ, and I love him. He’s just trying to look out for me. I don’t want to make him mad,” you stated.
“Well he probably doesn’t like the idea of me with you, given my reputation.”
“Probably not.”
“I’d do anything for you I hope you know that. Your worth all this chaos, so damn worth it.” JJ spoke sincerely.
“You’ll wait for me?” you asked.
“Of course i’ll wait for you, I’d wait a hundred years just to see you smile, let alone date you.”
“I promise one day we will be together.” You smiled sadly.
“Can’t wait,” JJ then kissed you on the cheek.
You both got swept up in the party and went different directions. JJ went to where John B was and he soon began to think that was a bad idea.
“I saw you talking to y/n. You know she’s off limits right.” John B began.
“Jesus dude, I know you think I’m trying to get in her pants but I really do love her. Of course i’m not gonna act on it. I know the rules and I wouldn’t do that to you,” JJ confessed.
John B clapped JJ on the back, “Good on ya mate, I appreciate it.”
“Yeah yeah yeah.”
The party eventually died down around 2am. It was dark and the keg was practically empty. You retired pretty late and crashed in your room. Unbeknownst to you JJ was also crashing at your place.
When you woke up the next morning you could feel the hangover. You made your way to the kitchen for an Advil and some water. You didn’t expect to see JJ sitting on the couch.
“Good morning,” JJ spoke.
“Morning, my head is pounding,” you acknowledged.
“I’m sorry wish I could help.” JJ responded.
“It’s not your fault.”
“Yeah but I could of told you to take it easy on the drinks.” JJ countered.
You laughed. You weren’t sure if you would’ve listened to him if he told you that, but he didn’t need to know that.
“It’s ok things happen.”
“Do you want to hang out with me?” JJ asked.
“Um yeah sure I have to go to the grocery store at one point but other than that Im free,” You explained.
“Alright let’s go.”
The grocery store wasn’t that busy and you were thankful it wasn’t.
“What do you need?” JJ questioned.
“Well, I need cereal, butter, fruit, bread, cheese, chicken, and beer.”
“That’s not too bad we should be in and out of here pretty quick,” JJ responded.
The two of you went up and down each and every aisle. You used teamwork to complete the list.
“Just think one day when we live together we will do our grocery shopping together for our apartment,” JJ said excitedly.
“Yeah that would be fun.”
JJ put his hands on your waist to scoot behind you and reach something on the top shelf. You felt dizzy from the proximity and the feeling of his hands on you.
JJ put the item in your cart and continued looking for more.
“Hey after this do you want to hit the beach?” you asked him.
“Yeah sounds good.”
Eventually you finished up at the store and got everything you needed. You went to the château to change and out the groceries away. Then you were off to the beach.
When you arrived you decided to lay out your towels and lay on the sand. It was nice to hang out just the two of you. John B was probably off with Sarah and therefore not supervising you and JJ.
“This is nice,” JJ voiced.
“Yeah it is,” you laid your head on his shoulder. JJ’s arm came up to wrap around your waist to pull you closer.
The two of you talked for hours on the beach enjoying each other’s company.
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A few weeks later you were out on the boat. It was a nice day for boating. You and the pogues were out on the marsh exploring the sunken boat.
The salty air flowed through your hair as you sat in your bikini top and shorts. The smell of the ocean brought you a sense of peace, being out on the water was therapeutic.
Of course you were interested in the shipwreck but you loved being on the water. John B went to dive under using the scuba gear from Ward. Then the cops came while he was still down there.
Once they finally left we were all anxious about John B. Was he ok? He ran out of air that’s for sure. Thankfully John B emerged from the water and seemed to be alright.
“There his is!” JJ exclaimed.
“Oh, God! Jesus Christ!”
“Thank god,” you breathed.
“Don’t scare us like that!” Pope said.
“How’d it go down there?” JJ asked.
John B put up the ok sign.
“Did you find anything?” JJ questioned.
“Did I find anything?” John B breathed.
He brought up a black duffel bag.
“Yeah, there we go! That’s my boy!” JJ excitedly called out.
“Jeez dude!” Pope gasped.
“You okay?” Kie voiced her concern.
“Yeah, I ran out of air,” John B panted.
“You sacred the shit out me.” Kiara expressed.
“Yeah same here,” you stated.
“Yeah, the cops were up here, but, uh… took care of ‘em.” Pope went on.
“My Bad.” John B announced.
“You’re all good.” Pope replied.
“Yeah, you kinda missed the show, brother.” JJ stepped in to say.
“Hey guys? Guys, bogey, two o’clock.” Kiara announced.
“What?” JJ spoke.
“Do you recognize that boat?” Pope asked.
“I’ve never seen it,” Kiara responded.
“What are they doing here? The marsh is closed,” Kiara went on.
“I don’t know but let’s not stick around and find out.” JJ suggested.
“I think their coming right for us.” You voiced your opinion.
“JJ get the bowline.” John B ordered.
“Yeah.”
“Should we wait on ‘em?” Pope offered.
“No, we’re not.” Your brother spoke.
“Go get the stern. Go!” John B ordered.
“Are you joking? JJ, hurry up.” Kiara hissed.
“Guys, don’t wait for me. Go.” JJ said urgently.
Kiara requested, “Let’s go!”
“Pull out the stern.” Pope warned.
“I don’t like the look of this,” John B put out.
“I don’t either,” you spoke.
“Maybe they’re fishing,” Pope suggested.
“Go, go, go, go!” JJ ordered.
“Go into the marsh,” Pope said.
“Hey, guys, they’re following us.” Kiara shared.
“This can’t be good,” Pope voiced.
“Shit!” John B exclaimed.
“Oh no,” you shouted.
“Dude, you gotta go faster!” JJ put out.
“I’m going.”
As the boat with the two big men on it chased you and the pogues further into the marsh, you looked behind you realizing that they were getting closer.
“John B,” you cried.
“I know Y/N.”
Then to your surprise you herd gunshots.
“What the…” Pope began.
“Holy shit!” Kiara cursed.
“John B, get down,” JJ yelled.
They continue shooting at you guys.
“Oh my god we’re gonna die!” Pope shouted.
“Y/N! Get down” John B called.
You were starting to have a panic attack and you didn’t know what to do. You were trying to stay down but we’re having trouble catching your breath. You must of not been hidden enough because you felt a sharp pain in your gut near your hip.
You looked down and saw crimson blood painting the area. Now this is where you really started to panic. Everyone was cheering because Kiara threw out a net to stop the boat and it worked. They couldn’t move, they were stuck and they were no longer right behind you. They did however fired one last shot.
Your heart was pounding and you were shaking. You were full on panicking. Your chest felt tight and you could feel yourself getting dizzy.
Everyone was still cheering when you whispered, “I’ve been shot.”
“What did you say?” JJ questioned.
“I’m shot.”
“Holy fuck.” JJ roared.
“JJ,” you called for him reaching out you hand. Your breathing was ragged. The scene before you was starting to blur.
“Oh my god. Oh my god.” JJ blubbered. JJ was shocked he didn’t know what to do but he did know that his girl was in distress. He needed to be there for you.
He took your hand in his hand and cradled your head. “Breathe baby, I’m right here.”
John B who was watching the interaction intensely, took off his bandana and gave it to JJ. He was at a loss for words.
JJ took the bandana and placed it over the wound, and applied pressure. You let out a whimper.
“We got to stop the bleeding.” JJ said urgently.
“Pope take us to the hospital,” John B ordered as he let Pope get behind the wheel.
Pope did his best to smoothly get to shore.
JJ pulled you into his lap and put his hands over your hands to press the bandana on the wound.
“JJ i’m pan- panicking,” you mumbled.
“I know baby I know, I’ve gotchu.”
“Your gonna be ok. I know you are you have to be.” JJ went on.
JJ started stroking your hair with the one hand that wasn’t pressed to your side. He kissed the top of your head and whispered reassuring words.
John B started to call and ambulance for when you get to shore. “I need an ambulance for my sister, she’s been shot, if you can meet us at the dock.”
John B was watching how JJ was comforting you. He was being to gentle and caring. It looked like he was doing a good job at calming you down.
Eventually you got to shore and the ambulance was waiting. JJ and John B were on ether side of you helping you walk. You however seemed to hang off of them as you leaned on them for support.
“I can’t have all of you back here in the ambulance,” the EMT said.
“I want JJ with me,” you croaked out.
“We will meet you guys at the hospital,” Pope announced, him and kiara walking off to get to Kiara’s car.
John B and JJ hopped in the back of the ambulance as you got on the stretcher. The ride to the hospital was bumpy and your were screaming in pain.
JJ held you hand the whole ride to the hospital. You would squeeze his hand occasionally. John B watched how you stared at JJ like you needed him.
Once you finally arrived they rushed you into the hospital. the EMT spoke, “We got a female with a gunshot wound to the gut.”
“She needs to be in surgery right away,” one of the doctors called out.
As they wheeled you away, JJ and John B waited in the waiting room with their nerves at an all time high.
Pope and Kiara arrived and waited in the waiting room as well. John B was pacing back and forth. JJ sat in one of the chairs with his head lowered and his hat in his hands.
John B went to speak with JJ. “Do you think she’s gonna be ok?” he asked.
“Yeah she’s a fighter,” JJ replied whipping his eyes.
“You really love her don’t you?” John B asked.
“Yeah, I do,” JJ responded.
“I can see that now. I want to give you my blessing.”
“Really?”
“Yes. I can see that you both love one another more than anything.” John B shared.
“Thanks man I appreciate that,” JJ took hold of John B’s shoulder and gave it a squeeze.
JJ was on the edge of his seat he was worried for you. He didn’t know what he would do if something happened to you. You were the light of his whole life.
After what felt like a eternity, a doctor came out and calmly spoke, “The surgery went well she’s resting now. She needs to stay overnight for observation but she can take visitors but only one at a time.”
“Go ahead,” JJ nodded towards John B.
John B entered your hospital room to be met with your eyes closed. You woke up when you herd the sound of feet shuffling.
“Hi Bree Bree,” you spoke softly.
“Hey y/n/n, how you feeling.”
“Better,” you smiled.
“I’m glad.”
“Can you tell me when you fell in love with JJ?” John B questioned.
“How did you-“ you were shocked.
“Oh please, I can see it in your face when your around him and the “I want JJ with me.”
“Well it started out as a little schoolgirl crush and then I just fell for him and it consumed me.”
John B debated if he should tell you he gave the two of you the green light but figured JJ should do it. So instead he gave you a smile.
“I’m glad your ok y/n/n.”
“I’ll send JJ in.” John B finished the conversation.
“Bye Bree Bree.”
After a few moments JJ came strolling in. He was happy because he now could be with you. But of course he was worried about you and your recovery.
“My poor baby, how you feeling?” JJ cooed.
“I’m doing ok,” you responded.
“I’m so thankful you didn’t get shot in the heart or the head.” JJ breathed.
“Yeah I guess i’m lucky, it could of been a lot worse.”
“I have something to tell you, scooch over.” JJ got in bed beside you.
“What is it?”
“Your brother gave us his blessing!” JJ exclaimed.
“Are you serious?!” You looked at him in disbelief.
JJ nodded his head, and you squealed and wrapped your arms around his neck in a hug.
“Careful love,” JJ spoke cautious of your movements.
“I’m so happy,” you expressed.
JJ cupped your cheek with his ringed hand. He used his ringed thumb to stroke your cheek.
You were looking into his baby blue eyes when your gaze flickered to JJ’s lips.
JJ was looking at your lips when you finally closed the gap between you. The kiss was gentle and soft at first then grew more heated and frantic over time.
Your lips were locking together and you slid your hands into JJ’s hair. You pulled on the strands a little and he let out a groan causing you to melt. When the need for air became to strong you pulled away.
“Ya know I really do love you.” JJ explained nudging his nose with yours.
“Yes I do and I love you.
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st4rr-girrl · 1 year
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cheater pt 2 please 🥹
Cheater Pt 2
M.R x Fem! Reader
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Summary; Mattheo Riddle, one of your close friends notices your sad energy. He attempts to cheer you up.
Thanks for the request, enjoy! xx
Warnings; swearing, angst, hurt/comfort, mentions of smut/implied sexual intercourse, nicknames; bunny & Mi Amor
Side note; Bunny is ur nickname that Mattheo gave you a long time ago, like when you were little. You found a bunny at the park and adopted it and he started calling you bunny. (Idk thought it was cute)
A/n: Should I make this a series? I know I never finish my other ones bc idk where the plot is going nd I lose motivation but ik what to write for this.
Now playing; never felt so alone -labrinth
Up next; see how I circle/labryrinth
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Staring at your plate, filled with foods you would normally dig into, you felt an inexplainable emptiness in the pit of your stomach. Some people were already heading off to their dorms for a good nights sleep, since the school year was almost over and finals were coming up.
Although you were surrounded by people you loved, you still felt a bit lonely. You lost the one person who understood how you felt. You didn’t miss his longing gaze, that stared at your melancholy expression. He wanted nothing more than to hug you and tell Astoria to fuck off, but he understood what he did was wrong.
You’re just protecting yourself.
You glanced at your long-time friend, Mattheo, who was shooting daggers at Draco.
Just as your thoughts were about to consume you, Pansy spoke up. “Earth to Y/n?” She noticed the sad expression on your tired face, and attempted to cheer you up.
“Sorry.” You furrowed your brows and shook your head. “What were you saying?” Pansy pulled you out of your trance-like state.
“We were just debating which was better; butter-beer, or chocolate frogs.” Pansy raised a brow, awaiting your answer.
“Well chocolate frogs are good,” Pansy felt hopeful that at-least one person would agree with her about her favorite treat. “-but…” her face dropped. “Sorry Pansy, chocolate frogs get away too easily! And butter-beer is top tier.” You raised your hands in defense, while Pansy sighed and admitted defeat while Theodore teased her. A spark of happiness fluttering for a moment. You smiled contentedly, before you felt that damn stare.
You frowned and bounced your leg up and down. You felt a hand on your bouncing leg, and looked up. Mattheo was smiling reassuringly. “You ok?” He whispered, gazing at you with adoration. You two were in your own little world while the others talked. He gently grabbed both of your hands.
You smiled softly, about to answer when Astoria came in. She sat on Draco’s lap and stared right at you with a devilish grin.
Your eyes widened slightly, while tears filled your eyes. Draco could no longer face you without shame. You bit your lip and faced back to Mattheo who glared at Draco and Astoria.
“I think I need some air.” You said quickly, pulling your hands from Mattheo softly as you rushed out of the dinning room.
You headed through the halls, not noticing the tall male that followed behind you.
You debated where to go, before your mind lingered around going to the astronomy tower.
So thats where you went. You ran up the stairs and collapsed to the floor, holding yourself while sobs wracked through your body.
Someone sat beside you, and you sniffled before glancing up. It was Mattheo. A part of you was expecting Draco to be there, but it was nothing more than a silly thought. Besides, seeing Mattheo was a lot better than seeing Draco. A pleasant surprise if you will.
Mattheo pulled out a cigarette, putting it to his lips and lighting it. He handed you one.
“Mattheo, you really need to stop smoking.” You said, but still took the cigarette and let him light it.
“I’ll stop when you stop.” He smiled, making you shake your head and smile, while wiping your tears. You didn’t wanna cry in front of him. It was embarrassing, even though you’ve known him forever.
You took a puff of the cigarette as Mattheo scooted closer and wrapped an arm around your waist.
You leaned your head against him. You too were super affectionate before you started dating Draco. You’d cuddle, hug, a kiss on the cheek or head every now and then, but Draco was upset with this. Reasonably, of course, but it cause you and Mattheo to drift apart slightly. Draco was always possessive of you, so you saw less and less of your friends. Ironic, huh.
So this type of affection usually wouldn’t make you flustered, or give you butterflies; but it did. Heat crept up your neck, and you felt nauseous, as if butterflies were flying in your stomach.
“Yknow…” Mattheo said, disturbing the comforting silence. You hummed, looking up and noticing he was already glancing down at you. “There’s a bright side to this.”
You raised a brow. “And that is?”
“I can tell you something I’ve always wanted to.”
“And that is?” This caught your attention.
“I really like you, Bunny.” Your eyes widened as you stared, searching for anything that would tell you that this was some type of sick joke.
Gladly, there was no trace of him playing with your feelings. Only raw, sentimental emotion.
“I-I really like you too, Mattheo.” Your mouth tripped over your words as a faint blush crept up your neck to your cheeks. He cupped your cheek with the hand that didn’t hold a cigarette. You cupped his cheek as well, but your hand did hold a cigarette.
You both leaned in slowly, meeting one another in the middle. You smiled into the kiss, and melted in his hands.
You got on his lap and grinded, the once innocent kiss turning into something less innocent.
One things led to another and….
You shifted in your sleep, feeling a warm pair of strong arms wrapped around you. You smiled contentedly, turning around and facing Mattheo. To your surprise, he was already awake.
“Hey, bunny.” He said, smiling at the nickname he gave you a long while back.
“Hello Mi amor.” Mattheo spoke Spanish, and you took a few classes with him, so you started calling him that.
“Are we official?” He asks.
“What do you mean?” You ask with a raised brow. “I mean we had sex, so I’d like to believe we’re official.” You laugh, as he laughs along. His laugh vibrates his chest, and it give you butterflies.
“We should probably get ready for class.” You considered, softly getting up from the bed. “We don’t want anyone catching us in the same dorm room do we?” You added, before he could protest.
“Finee.” He groaned, getting out of bed gingerly.
He kissed your cheek, before you left to your dorm with all your school clothes in your hands.
Time rolled by quickly, and it was now dinner.
You were late, per usual, but this time your melancholy expression was replaced with one of happiness.
Astoria was sitting on Draco’s lap, and staring at you with confusion. Why weren’t you upset?
You strolled happily to the slytherin table, and took your seat right on Mattheo’s lap. You stared at Astoria with pride, and scowled at Draco.
Kissing Mattheo on the cheek, though it was not for revenge. You just loved him.
And this time, you were not letting anything get in the way of that.
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uninformedartist · 7 months
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So just finished watching the ep so review. Spoils ahead:
So the episode was ok to me, solid 6/10 one of the better episodes which since this was supposed to be an "extravagant" ep why does it got better quality than the main eps, idk Viv has her moments like this ep and other eps its a train wreck in writing ect.
Mammon worked on my nerves, from design to his movements, personality ALL of him was annoying, which props for an annoying Villian but its Villian I never want to see back again and he's hinted for some sort of return.
Side tangent: Mammon is like the how many-ith Villian to get a return ep/hint at one. It was 1st cherubs, then dorks, then stella/ice twink, striker/crimson now Mammon & according to the leaked storyboards a ghost guy that tries to talk IMP into off-ing themselves... its a flipping lot and cherubs & dorks seem to be forgotten dispite dorks knowing & having hard evidence they exist, flip Viv chill it with your Villian of the week cos its way too many now.
Anyway, Blitz didn't need to be in this ep besides the flashback. Ozzie got him to talk Fizz out of being Mammon's puppet but ultimately Ozzie spoke him out of it & gave him courage to quit/confront Mammon. Even Blitz being a bodyguard/killing people for Fizz could've been any imp. Blitz is starting to feel like Steven from SU, in every ep even tho the ep doesn't need him/ the episode surrounds topics a wee child shouldn't be in (i.e Lapis trauma dumping on Steven & he a child isn't really equipped to handle that situation).
My fave part of this ep was Ozzie and Fizz. Ya'll I legit prayed Viv wouldn't mess these two up and my prayers were answered. Absolutely a joy these two were. Fizz especially what a darling. Loved that small scenes with him and the deaf imp child, l dont know sign language but it looked genuine animated and was just sweet moments.
From their interactions, Fizz's panic attacks/self doubt felt & were genuine... I felt that as someone that has panic attacks from high stress on my studies/life. It was just handled well. Fizz feeling less than and needing to prove himself from 1. his past 2. his appearance, that accident affected his self image/worth so much (why I felt him forgiving Blitz was too hastily done but I digress) & 3. him doing this Mammon contest still to gain/earn Ozzie's love for him cos Fizz believes Ozzie only sticks around because of this fame Mammon gave Fizz. Ozzie finally saying what he loves about Fizz was lovely, wanted that in the 1st ep but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Their song was... I didn't like it BUT the message in it was beautiful. Lastly Fizz saying fuck you to Mammon from the courage/strength Ozzie gave him was a nice send off... also Ozzie saying he loves Fizz ah ngl that made me smile agh I just love them. I want to see them more than the Stolitz show but thats only a wish. Props Viv, you get 1 brownie point not messing this up.
Last findings, the ep was bloated as hell my soul Viv please stop cramming so much in an ep, this one is 30 mins long & yet still felt bloated. Pacing was a motherfuka damn it was bad & the swearing was jarring (its a Viv written ep I don't expect any less but still gonna point it out) and the comedy wasn't so prominent in this ep, Blitz/Mammon gave some comic relief but in the best and worst ways:
The way the VA delivered this line "to be fucked" made me laugh, the line is cringy but the delivery lol gold
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Aand Blitz, my soul shut the fuck up & get out this ep. Last ep & this one he said something so agonizingly cringe I pulled my face
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The world of HB is legit American hell or earth just painted red since Fizz named all these places in America just "hellified" where his fans come from.
And very last, congratulations Salem glad you got the cathartic send off you deserve from working under Viv, truly fuck you "Mammon" indeed :) also glad they credited you this time.
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wachtelspinat · 4 months
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Hey ! I’ve been seeing your art going around since your midnight crew stuff and I just recently stubble across your tumblr, thank to your beautiful overwatch art for our beloveds junkers ! I’ve been scrolling through your account and read about your experience of being a former graphic designer who is a doctor now. And damn. I can’t emphasize how much I admire you, especially as someone who is struggling really hard to choose between 2 careers paths ( with one of them being art related ). This is why I was wondering if you would be open to talk about how and why you switched from art to medecine ? Especially because most of the time I feel it happens more the other way around ? ( If it’s too personal just ignore this ask + sorry if you already talked about it before )
hey ! no worries, i don't expect ppl to scroll through my tumblr to find an answer for a question they might have. first of all thanks for your nice words, means a lot <3
i switched from art to medicine because my early 20-something-self was even more anxiety-ridden than my present-self, and being in art school and having to "perform" regularly was a nightmare. i'm talking about a time in which i was so scared of being perceived that i often skipped grocery shopping, just so i could avoid being around people. so like, pitching art related projects to peers and profs was eeh... especially because art is so personal oh my god. i still hate it when someone tries to sneak a peek while i'm drawing, makes me wanna throw my sketchbook and myself off the bridge. anyways so i always felt a 110% inadequate (plus i got a gf during that time who was so good to me and tried to get me out of my funk on multiple occasions (she was and still is an artist and has now a career as a freelancer and i'm rly proud of her) but i couldn't see that because i just compared the two of us all the time and sabotaged any attempt she made for having fun with drawing with her) that i sat down at some point and asked myself if i could do this any longer, and i came to the conclusion that no, it really kills me rn.
what made me go into the health sector? i don't even know anymore, i think it was a mixture of "i loved biology, esp. the human body in school" and "my mum is an icu nurse and talks a lot about hospitals, maybe i should check it out"... it was not a well thought through decision, which is so funny because studying medicine was a hell of a meatgrinder ride (also my anxiety and self hatred? still there, but now i wasn't judged anymore because of my art but instead being called a dumb idiot collectively with all the other students because nobody likes med students) and for some reason i was able to get through that despite it not being my passion at all, but i couldn't stand up for myself in art school. i don't even know if i could work through it nowadays, but the good thing is i don't have to ask myself this question anymore, because being a doctor pays the bills, and ever since i left art school i was able to just draw without consequence. which is nice to a degree, my artistic output is not tied to the means of generating money. on the other hand... idk, in another life with more confidence and less worries, i'd love to be some sort of character designer T_T
so yeah that's basically it. at some times i cherished my career decisions, at other times i regretted them deeply, worst thing is i know it has a lot to do with personality, but the fact that we can't change who we are with a blink of an eye gives me the framework to think that the path i took was ok. as in. things happened for a reason and maybe i'm just not cut out for that kind of work. you have to be aware of the conditions of a job to decide if you are up for it. because being an artist doesn't end with "just draw". i myself had an unrealistic view of the job back then too. and the fact that i could not seperate between personal aspects and "doing a job here" was crucial.
yeah, idk if this is helpful at all. i think the one thing that is super important here is to have a realistic view on the conditions of work you are about to head into, and i know this is mostly very difficult to aquire. because unless you really work in a sector there is often no way to fully grasp the situations you can find yourself in (this applied for me also in the health sector, which made me fall into a depression a year ago, but what do you do after you spent 6 years of studying :') ). doing internships and just trying to get to know a lot of things really helps. and - idk how old you are, but if you're really young: it's ok to switch careers at some point. it's even ok to do so when you are older (trying to end on a positive note here because it feels like i just said a lot of depressing things... like don't get me wrong i like my job, the conditions are just fucked up, and again my personality prevents me from switching again but it's also not that easy in germany, BUT it's a valid thing to do, being versatile is good! just... make sure you don't end up with a job that you absolutely hate because that kills it all)
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jentasticart · 7 months
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ok but I'm actually starting to get pissed off and annoyed with this weird family dynamic stuff they're doing in mk1 just to try to stop the gay ships that's been around for a while now.
like subscorp (Kuai x Hanzo), bitomas, subsmoke (Kuai x Tomas. I'm not too much of a fan of this ship but I'll mention it anyway) and shaoko, idk if there's anything else but lmk if I missed anything I guess.
but Imma mainly talk about my main ship here; bitomas.
I would like to add that I'm not a proshipper in any way cus fuck that shit. so don't frame me as one.
this is the only recent game where they're both in it together but they make them step bros yet I've seen people make mk1 subscorp and no one is really complaining about it and it gets a bunch of likes, which is WORSE than mk1 bitomas because it's ACTUAL incest. mk1 bitomas isn't incest, they're not related to each other in any way. they're not even the same race.
but yk what's not fucking fair? THAT THE SUBSMOKE SHIP IS MORE ACCEPTED THAN BITOMAS THAT THE ACTUAL VOICE ACTORS SHIP IT FFS
BI FUCKING DISMISSES IT, HE DOESN'T SEE HIM AS A DAMN BROTHER
BUT IN SUBSMOKE THEY ACTUALLY DO ADDRESS EACH OTHER AS BROTHERS, HOW CAN ONE BE ACCEPTED MORE THAN THE OTHER WHEN IT'S THE SAME DAMN THING
this is literally how I'm feeling rn about this
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two people who ARE NOT related to each other in any damn way is NOT incest, doesn't matter if they grew up together or not.
so if two people were dating before and their parents got together and married, then those two people shouldn't be together anymore cus they would be step siblings? that's fucking stupid and you guys know it.
in a way they're doing the stupid thing like how some people think liulao is, yk the whole "they're cousins/brothers" but they're not, it was confirmed they're not but people don't wanna do their damn research.
all nrs cares about is the straight pairings and lesbian ones cus they don't get as much backlash as two men being together.
===.._ _..===.._ _..===
so I got a little hc/story for y'all:
sometime after the brothers' dad takes Tomas in, Tomas falls for Bi and his whole idolization for Bi is a coverup to try to hide his crush on him from Bi and Kuai. yes he gets close with Kuai as in best friends but he feels this is something he should keep to himself for now.
Bi wasn't actually always mean to Tomas, at some points he might have been cold to him sometimes but that's just Bi, just cus he was cold to him, doesn't mean he didn't care for him.
but then at some point Bi-Han fell for Tomas, probably starting in his teen years, but since he didn't know how to express it or deal with it, he acts how he acts towards him like how he does in mk1. it's because he never felt this way before towards anyone, let alone a guy. so he pretty much acts kinda like a tsundere in a way. keep in mind, even before this, Bi still didn't see Tomas as his brother and Tomas obviously didn't see him that way either cus of his crush on him.
all those years their feelings for each other got stronger and stronger, which made Bi more cold to Tomas, which was the time he told him that line in that one scene in mk1 about him not being brothers or Lin Kuei.
but after the betrayal of Bi-Han, while Kuai and Tomas were making the Shirai Ryu, Tomas snuck back to the Lin Kuei at night to see Bi-Han.
they fought because Bi started it, he did think Tomas was there to kill him or was there for some revenge but all Tomas wanted to do was talk. after the fight, Tomas managed to get Bi to stop.
they talked for awhile, Tomas asking the question as to why Bi-Han did all of this in the first place, why he was cold to him, why he got so much colder after all the years. Bi was hesitant to tell him, especially now since he thinks its too late to let him know the truth, he probably ruined all chances he had with him now.
but he did tell him anyway, he told him the truth, everything. from the very beginning to now. Tomas wasn't expecting this, he didn't think Bi felt the same way towards him but was he really telling the truth about the other stuff?
Bi-Han backed away after he told him, he understood that he might not believe his words anymore. Tomas stayed silent on Bi's bed, thinking, before he spoke and told him that he should tell Kuai this truth even if Kuai might not believe it.
he paused for a moment before he spoke, agreeing with Tomas. he then called him to Bi's bed, Bi was hesitant because he wasn't sure of it, he didn't know if he should.
after a few minutes, Bi joined him in bed and Tomas held him, confessing his love to him too, even after everything, he still has the same love for him like the first time he fell for him.
they wind up being together in secret for months as Tomas helped Kuai with the clan. during that time, Bi did told the truth to Kuai too and apologized for it. Kuai is a bit hesitant to forgive him right now but he will consider it. he will still work on his own clan as it still feels like the right thing to do.
===.._ _..===.._ _..===
so ye if you don't like it, plz just block me, cus Imma ship them since others are shipping mk1 subsmoke with little problems, I'm starting to not care at this point because of it but I will put tags you can block in those posts to not see it
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thebunniesgrim · 8 months
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Ok so wait  
So, the recent episode of Helluva Boss made me...  
Think.  
About something. 
I know, right? so scary  
But oops made me stop for a second (as much as I like one could say love the episode)  
Are the sinners worse than the literal 7 deathly sins?  
I know it's a little early to say this considering hazbin hotel hasn't come out yet and helluva boss hasn't shown us all the 7 deadly sins, yet you know?  
But considering our track record with Asmodeus not thinking lust should be forced and Beelzebub not encouraging overindulgence or overindulgence for the wrong reasons (when she tells Loona "like hey he a mess and killing the vibe k?”)  
(Also, I feel like the Asmodeus thing is a damned if you do damned if you don't thing honestly there was no winning with this one viv would have gotten flamed either way. I don’t have a gripe with it either way  )  
Are the sinners worse than them? Like Valentino is an abuser and uses angle dust and others for his body in more ways than one. Alastor is allegedly a cannibal (can that be seen as gluttony or some other sin? Other than it being morality wrong to eat people), angel overuses drugs, husk drink to an excess Yada Yada Yada  
....so, like who are the real demons?  
(That was the gotcha moment the whole time.)
Hazbin Hotel pitch: "Maybe the real demons (or redemption) were the friends we made along the way *rainbow emoji*"
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You're telling me that Valentino can just sexually assault folks and get them doped up on magical cigar smoke, but Asmodeus doesn't believe that diddling people without consent is just too far?  
Ok yeah totally  
Because honestly what's next?  
Is Belphegor gonna recommend we get the daily recommended amount of sleep and to put healthy breaks in between tasks? (watch her be a doctor)  
Is mammon gonna vouch for ethical consumerism and hoarding money is bad?  
Wait no, let me guess!  
Leviathan is gonna tell us about that envy in small doses as motivation is healthy but too much and it's not?  
Is Lucifer gonna be like yo Dawgs being prideful in one's achievements is totally radical but don't be a dick about it  
Is satin gonna like to tell us getting angry is ok but pointing one's anger towards other is totally uncool?  
Because he'll doesn't seem like a doomed eternity it just seems like a playground, they aren't even being like damned for their sins  
It's like the purge but slightly more civil  
How is a sinner gonna be worst that a demon?  
I am very aware expecting Viv to give us correct demon mythos is a tall order and not realistic at all, but I don’t think we can stay any farther from the 7 deadly sins in their basic boiled down forms, you know? Like money, anger, ego, sex, food, lazy, and jealously.  
They are demons! You can have kind and sweet demons like minion from the Cuphead show he's a sweet heart but he still encourages the devil to be the devil  
Or even king dice (not a demons but a bad person he works for the devil) he has sympatric qualities but he's still a bad guy. Same with the devil too if you look hard enough  
They are still demons people have a negative connotation with them why not make them morally gray? Like “you can cut some guys arm off if both parties are into it, I don’t care just ask first” that would be kinda funny. But also, he values consent to a fault he doesn’t care about them being safe but as long as you asked its fine.
Asmodeus:
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Or if like cheat days turn into cheat years idk  
It just seems like the 7 deadly sins are just guys and the sinners are just worse than them 
Like look at pilot of Hazbin and look all the non-sense they do then look at Helluva it’s so sanitized comparatively it's kinda funny ngl  
If the sinners, the worst of the worst of humans and this is how soft the demon royales are like pilot hazbin would bully the hell (heh) out of Helluva
Lol is the pride ring just a bunch of uncivilized edgy children when everyone else just kinda looks on in utter horror? Now that I wouldn’t mind  :)
small rant about the Hazbin hotel piolt
Why does Charlie call the sinners her people in the pilot?  
Like I feel like her people are the hell born like her, the deadly sins, the imps, the succubus and so on 
You know her people the demons and junk who are like her kin of sort?
Also why is over population such a problem? It seems like a fitting punishment to me if there's limited space seems like a good thing, no?  
Are they not here to suffer?  
Also why not just allow the sinners to wander the other rings? Why are they only in pride?  
What's the point of the other rings? Why are they named after sins if they aren't going to be used by the sinners? 
ok bye :)
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loveemii · 10 months
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idk if ur open to do requests yet and im so sorry if not! but could you do Inosuke comforting reader? I just got broken up with and i need some comfort from my favorite boy ;_;. Have a good day and thank u in advance if you do <3
hello i’m so sorry to hear that, and yes ofc i can make this request! thank you for asking <3
- take care of yourself and stay safe :)
♡︎♥︎————————————————————♥︎♡︎
y/n walked into the butterfly mansion with swollen puffy red eyes, inosuke was there after his last mission. his throat was crushed pretty good and so his voice was going to sound raspier than usual for the past month.
as she went inside, she was greeted by aoi who immediately decided to treat y/n as she thought she had gotten sick with the flu.
“You need to be treated right away! Come with me please.”
aoi stated as she dragged y/n to the patients bedding where inosuke was resting in. y/n noticed but couldn’t think of anything other than what was bothering her.
as y/n was forced to sit on the bed while aoi went to get the medication that was needed to treat a flu, she tried telling aoi how she wasn’t sick but needed tissues.
“Aoi-”
“I’m just going to place this cool towel on your forehead now ok?”
“Aoi-”
“Stay still alright? Now. Im going to give you this medicine. And don’t you dare spit it up.”
as aoi was about to put a spoonful of medicine into y/n’s mouth she dodged it and began to sniffle again as tears left her eyes. aoi’s face changes to concern as she finally let her speak.
“Aoi, Im not sick…I just needed tissues.”
“O-oh, right. Im sorry: Right away.”
aoi then left the room to grab a box of tissues for y/n who was left there crying trying not to be loud and wake inosuke who was still asleep next to her.
“You don’t have to cry like that…I’m not sleeping so you can just cry how you would if I wasn’t here.”
there was a small gasp that left y/n’s lips before she turned to see inosuke, he didn’t even have his mask on.
“Inosuke? C-can I hug you? I don’t have anyone else at the moment and I-”
“Sure.”
y/n was a little shocked at his response but took a moment to think of what he said. inosuke then spoke again.
“I said sure, come here and lay on my stomach before I change my mind.”
she nodded and went over to his bed as she sniffled before laying her head sideways on his stomach. arms wrapping around his waist.
inosuke placed a hand over y/n’s head and gently brushed her hair with it. she was calmer than before, y/n then placed her whole face into his toned stomach as tears fell onto his skin.
“Damnit..I wasn’t expecting to feel this damn way.”
♡︎♥︎————————————————————♥︎♡︎
hi i hoped this helped you anon :) much love and support from me. you’ll find happiness again love youu <3
- please excuse any grammar or spelling mistakes, thank you
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serfergs · 1 year
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A brief defense of a Boss & a Babe
So I’ve never added commentary like this before (usually prefer to sit back and enjoy the hot takes 🔥 & analyses from those much more informed & eloquent), but from what I’ve seen the consensus is ABAB is at the least disappointing and at the most infuriating. And I won’t lie I didn’t vibe with the first episode. But I’ve now watched the second and I’ve got thoughts (and feelings). To preface I had very little expectations going in. This is my first ForceBook experience & I didn’t really care for the premise or trailer, but thought I’d give it a try. And it’s not only more entertaining than I expected, but also kinda…deep? In this essay i wil-
Just kidding I’m def going to bullet point this ish. Plz forgive my awful formatting idk what I’m doing
Boss is relatable. I read him as introverted and depressed (maybe from a break up and/or homophobic trauma?). It’s already hard to make friends as an adult when you’re introverted so I can only imagine how hard it is to make friends with coworkers who are clearly trying to keep their distance from you. My guy is lonely. Especially when they’re telling the new guy how cold & distant you are. My head cannon is nobody in the office is a reliable narrator because no one has bothered to GET TO KNOW boss/gun.
I didn’t like Cher at first because I read him as a silly kinda ditzy character, but I was wrong. I kinda love that he’s not afraid to show his concern for boss because that’s exactly what boss needs. Someone to cross the professional line and say “hey I know you’re not ok and I wanna be there for you”. Fuck professionalism in this rat race of a world, you need a friend. Maybe there are some problematic ethics at play, but it’s a BL ok there are plenty of other plots I hold a suspension of disbelief for so honestly not too far fetched imo
Even though they kissed in episode 2, I feel like the emotional build up of their relationship will be more of a slow burn and I love how realistic that is. I truly believe these two characters are both physically attracted to each other and want to have an emotional connection. I love the ForceBook chemistry. It’s both fun-flirty but also very affectionate. The way Cher is kind of sarcastic and silly to try & cheer up Boss reminds me of my relationship with my partner so maybe I am a little biased but their connection feels very realistic to me
About the kiss. I loved it. It was flirty, it was intimate and it made sense for the moment. Maybe I’m wrong but I don’t think Cher invited Boss up to his room to seduce him. I think he offered a warm, welcoming place to spend time after Boss told him he usually works late and then goes home alone. Cher knows how lonely Boss is and his genuine concern for him is so sweet. From inviting him up for noodles to inviting him to BBQ to meet his friends (and normalize having queer friends) is just so damn considerate & touching. Cher really seems to have the truest of intentions & I think I would be his real life bestie cheering him & boss on the sidelines, seriously. Maybe I’m problematic lmao
Did I mention I love we got a kiss in episode 2? I’m out here manifesting the break in the typical episode 5/6 kiss especially for these office BLs. Again it’s way more realistic for them to kiss each other at this point in their relationship & for the tone of the show. Sometimes I think a good timed kiss is way more impactful than a dramatic emotional yearning kiss 5 episodes in but maybe that’s just me. More playful, sweet early kisses plz & thank you 🙏🏻
I’m excited for more. Haven’t seen episode 3 yet as of this writing. Fingers crossed their relationship continues to be a sweet, supportive slow burn and not a dumpster fire so I don’t regret writing my first ever BL analysis 🤪
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jazzy---j · 3 months
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CC3... and just my problems with sjm as a whole.
Soooooo, yeah. that was a bit disappointing. I wanna start off that due to the problematic nature of SJM I wanna make it clear I no longer financially support her. When I first began reading her books I was in high school and didn't know much about whose books I was reading. Most of it was just pick up a book, read the summary, if I liked it I bought it. But now as an adult who is on booktok and all the other bullshit (it's a whole mess) I can see all of a book and author's pros and cons and be like, "nah, I'm not doing that." And you know as a black woman, I cannot just be and do what I want and damn whoever it may impact or the consequence. I don't get to live in that world. I feel like I have somewhat of a responsibility to not contribute to the harm that the world already does to marginalized people around the world. That's just me personally, black people are not a monolith and this way of thinking doesn't apply to all of us.
Anyway all that being said, I am a book reader who is invested in whatever story they are reading and want to know what happens. So I read CC3.., but was sailing the high seas while I did it if you know what I mean. And let me just say... yikes. The problematic things that SJM does in real life and all that those issues mean really do shine in this book. I mean I always knew white authors have different experiences than me so I don't expect something that caters to me when I read their books but, idk sjm makes all the problematic things just so apparent. And it's just generally hard to read. There can't be any separation between the art and the artist in this one guys. I'm a political science and history major in real life so I spend my time studying political theory and structures of power in historical contexts. Hopefully, I can work to better understand those structures in our current present and with my intersection of activism (I am very passionate about that in my day-to-day) work to make a better world for marginalized people. So when I read SJM, I see some very troubling themes in her work. Themes that can perpetuate misogyny, racism, and imperialism. And it just makes me queasy reading it. It's not fun for me to read that. The way she used the oppression and discrimination of people as a major plot device, that the heroes have to defeat but in real life be ok with taking a birthright trip is just... a type of cognitive dissonance that I can't even put into words. and don't think I forgot the Breonna Taylor incident that she still has on her Instagram. if you don't know what I'm talking about look it up on TikTok, many black book readers have created multiple videos explaining that whole situation.
Now some people may be like, "What the fuck are you talking about. I don't see any of this." And like that's cool maybe because of what I'm studying I just see it everywhere. But I just have not been able to shake this ickiness in my gut about her work. The most thought-out example of the problematic nature of her work that I have is the description and characterization of the Illyrian people.
Now the way she physically described the illryians is as brown-skinned, with dark hair, and brown or dark eyes. This does put them in a very racially ambiguous position but to describe them as brown-skinned makes me picture brown people who in real life are racially recognized as black and brown people. People apart of brown communities are usually Southeast Asian or Arab people. They are marginalized in real life through various forms of oppression displayed in orientalism perpetuated mostly recently by the United States in the last 30 years (the war on terror, but this behavior goes back so much further). The Illyrian people's cultural characterization coupled with their physical description aligns with the negative aspects of Orientalism. Literally, the illryians are described as "backward", "barbaric", "slow to change", and stuck in timeless, old antiquated traditions that encourage the abuse of women and children. Sjm describes an indigenous people (she makes it clear that the illryians are native to the night court and nowhere else) as "savage" culturally, in their interpersonal relationships, and communally. That is just described as inherent to the people (except for a couple of characters who are "the good ones", or "not like that" and lucky enough to get away). Culturally they are described as being constantly in a state of conflict, preparing for and/or enjoying that conflict. I'm so sorry but that is Orientalism, literally the definition of how Orientalism was used to justify the colonization of the Middle East and parts of Asian during the colonization period and again when the western powers and the United States had a vested interest in interfering politically and economically in the region in the last couple of decades. That same language was used to describe the people of the Middle East and justify their oppression in the West. The exact same words. I did not understand the connection until I took a Middle East: politics and society class about two semesters ago and again that same language was used when we were learning about Orientalism. I went back to read some of acotar again and I saw all of that in relation to the illryians and I was like, "oh, oh no." I really don't know what else to say. To me, the relation is very very clear and makes my stomach just drop when reading it.
And the thing about it is it did not have to be this way, SJM did not have to characterize them like that. There is no real narrative function of this characterization, they are not the bad guys of the story or the main antagonist. In fact, the main characters need them to actually defeat the evil. SJM at the base made an interesting indigenous group of people that could have been a unique culture in her narrative landscape and added to her world-building. Instead, she wrote harmful stereotypes about vaguely racialized, marginalized people that directly mirror a marginalized group of people in the real world. Now was that her intention or just the subconscious influence of Orientalism in our society coming out without her awareness? I mean i cannot confirm from the horse's mouth that this is the case right? She has never actually said this. But her stance on current world events that are happening right (Palestine and Gaza strip) does not give me a lot of hope that she is completely unaware. But either way, this can hurt people in the real world. In the book, because the Illyrians are characterized the way that they are, the main characters are put in a moral position of opposition, that is the the dynamic. And to me, that dynamic is hard to read knowing what I know and what actually happens in real life to people that the Illyrians mirror. it begins to be super easy to just live in that moral opposition that can stripe away people's humanity and value. Azriel's contempt for his people and desire to destroy Illyria and the culture is a good example of what happens to these groups in real life. This is just one example of things in her work that can be problematic.
And listen I'm not writing this to tell you to stop reading her, to tell you what to do with your money, or who to like/support. That is not my job. I just wanted to share some of my thoughts and give whoever is reading this food for thought. And hey I might be reading too much into this, and just going way too deep. It is just hard for me to enjoy her work anymore knowing and seeing what I see. I can't really ignore that icky gut feeling.
And hey do I think sjm is a good writer? Eh... that is a whole other blog post. I could go really deep into her world-building, story choices, and what I think might just be lazy writing. But there are some aspects that I do like and are unique. But guess what? The fandom's fanfic writers are the light in the tunnel in this situation. As they often are in other fandoms. they take the actual cool and fun things that SJM created and build on them in a way that does not negatively depict the representation of real people. In a way that is not narratively disappointing. In a way that is just fun for everyone to enjoy. Free of charge they express their talent because they love to do it for however long they want to. Fanfiction is an amazing system that I hope and pray won't get messed up. Like one of my favorite creators @separatist-apologist posted about last week, "I think no matter what happens, we've all spent so much time reading fic and developing headcanons that whatever SJM does isn't going to live up to the fantasy we've created...". And I for real felt that and I just wanna shout out to all the fic writers who make this space fun despite all the fandom fuckery and SJM fuckery.
@separatist-apologist, @thehaemanthus, @the-lonelybarricade, @moodymelanist, @ablogofsapphicpanic, @vidalinav, @vikingmagic33, @c-e-d-dreamer
There are more that I probably missed. So you know thank you guys for making things fun and giving me something to read that doesn't give me an icky feeling when I read.
So yeah, thank you for coming to my ted talk. this turned out to be hella long but you know once I started I couldn't stop. If you have any questions, my ask box is open. Again these are just my thoughts. you don't have to agree and I'm not trying to change your mind. I just needed to share this somewhere.
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loving-n0t-heyting · 2 years
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epistemic status: i wish this weren’t true but can’t see how it isn’t, more emotive than analytic
The western response to Putin’s annexation speech is fucking with me simply bc, afaict, setting aside the topic of the annexation itself, the speech is 95% true and pertinent and damning and the press (and others I would expect better from) is reacting to it like it’s a bunch of borderline psychotic word salad or a form of verbal terrorism or both at once
You have the guardian describing it as the rambling screed of an angry taxi driver, but idk, having read the actual text I think it has a pretty clear and straightforwardly argued thesis: US military and financial hegemony is just the latest phase in a continuous 500yr-long history of western international subjugation and terror and vassalage, which western elites look upon as their very life and will fight to the last of their subjects to preserve, while Russia will refuse to be cowed. And the core claim here about western hegemony is absolutely correct! He’s just right! Right, and damning
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I mean, yes! I, too, would like to see some of these rules! I think these are some reasonable points! (“Well, but he’s a hypocrite! He started the war!” Ok, who is whatabouting now?)
No two moments of the speech have attracted more attention than the “barely concealed nuclear threat” and the concluding batshit remarks about gender and sexuality. Let’s look at those in turn shall we?
Putin does, indeed, state outright that the US has set a nuclear precedent, but look at the context:
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Is there some whataboutism going on here? Sure. Does it carry some implication of willingness to escalate? Yea ig. But what could any hs students scoring above the 50th centile on the reading comprehension portion of the ACT divine as the clear overall message being argued here? That the US abd its allies since WWII have demonstrated a total unrenounced and gratuitous disregard for innocent human life in the course of subjugating their enemies and lording over their “friends.” And it’s fucking true!! Mass murder has been the calling card of US interventionism for the last sixty some years, and all in the service of a network of vassal states it cynically presents to the world as its peers and allies! Any threat of aggression here is secondary to the correct and utterly pertinent analysis of American global rule being decried!
And finally he does end the speech by dredging up homophobic panic about the end of traditional families and gender roles that could have well been copypasted from one of the more articulate screeds on /pol/. Ofc this is stupid. But what, to be even-handed, is the unspoken claim of the media reports harping on this globohomo fearmongering despite its occupying a tiny overall fraction of the text itself? What is the obvious implication of fixating on putins nationalist fag-hatred in the midst of characterising his speech denouncing American world domination as the conspiratorial ravings of a lunatic? That the evil he is castigating, the international system of unilateral military and economic terror on the part of Washington and her friends, is the true guarantor of queer liberation. And if putins bigotry is revolting this cynical pinkwashed apologia in return has to come close
None of this, ofc, excuses the annexations or legitimises the phony electoral veneer, let alone the invasion itself. But my God! Truly this makes me understand where the tankies are coming from!! It’s one thing to decry the act, another to suggest this speech is anything worse than a litany of truths in the service of a lie! But these swine, these vampires, these bloodthirsty warmongering brutes are so totally accustomed to the presupposition of their own common sensicality and so inured to criticism they cannot perceive a list of fair charges against them for what anyone with eyes to see can readily acknowledge it in fact is
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meeeeeeri · 1 year
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Things that really ANNOYED THE FUCK OUTTA ME while watching OUTER BANKS SEASON 3:
First things first: Big John AKA big old crazy dude
Let's just say that besides being a shitty father figure he also is selfish as fuck. He only decides to appear in John B's life whenever he needs him to do something treasure related, like ok big John, you love your son so much *cough cough*
In other hand, he also is willing to do ANTHING to find el Dorado, and by ANYTHING I mean killing people, tell me that's not what a psychopath would do.
And all the fricking screen time dedicated to the relationship between John B and his father???? Like we get that they need to bond again but DO WE HAVE TO WATCH ALL THE PROCESS?
No thank you Netflix, do better next time
I saw a tik tok that went something like this: Who said Ward is a bad person? Big John? cause if we wanna talk about someone BAD let's talk about Big John...
And yeah, that tik tok literally summes up my opinion about this individual.
Me roasting Big John with this post:
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2: Rafe and the girl named Sofia who came out of nowhere
Ok. Don't misunderstand me; the idea of introducing a new character who's gonna play the girlfriend or fuckbuddy of Rafe is super super interesting to me BUT
Can you elaborate more their relationship????? Give more CONTEXT????
They could even use her apparition and do a BOMB ASS side story like idk maybe her being more cruel than Rafe or her having some kind of business relationship with Singh and betraying him in the process... WHATEVER
But I'm just saying that that would have been more interesting than the parental issues between Big Dumbass John and John B
A video of me crying while scenes of John B and his dad appeared on my tv non stop:
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LOOK AT HIM HE'S SO CUTE LOVE HIM
3: Sarah and Topper
Don't even get me started on this shit.
When I saw that Sarah went back to flirting with Topper I was like WHA- WHE- WHO
But I'm not gonna question her that much because they are supposed to be playing teenagers, and that's what teenagers and (also) some adults do:
STUPID SHIT
And Topper... I really don't know how to feel about him.
He's like a shark who's ready to attack if he sniffs some blood (Sarah and John B breaking up or having relationship turbulences), but I can't even blame him that much because I feel like he really loves Sarah besides everything, and he really demonstrated it this season by helping the pogues out.
What Topper was replaying in his head when Sarah promised him that she would stay:
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4: Sarah's thoughts when she was left with no family, no money and nowhere to go (she was homeless for like a day and decided to cope with it by drinking beer from an abandoned beer tap, ok)
Um... When I say I was expecting her to say something philosophical and life changing and SHE DECIDED TO CONCLUDE HER SPEECH WITH: I really don't know if I'm a pogue or a kook...
SIDE EYE
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Girl I KNOW you are 17 but GROW THE FUCK UP.
You've been betrayed by your OWN FATHER and SHOT and nearly KILLED by your BROTHER and that's what you're thinking about???
Jesus Christ have mercy on me
All the build up story around pogues and kooks is really interesting (even tho it's like another form of saying rich and poor people) but when characters say shit like that it really makes no sense.
You have no home, no family, you argued with your bf and he left, and your friends are not there at the moment and YOU ARE THINKING ABOUT THAT IRRELEVANT SHIT? Damn
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Ok, I think I am done with most of the things I wanted to say. There are MORE for sure, but these are the most important ones.
I have to be honest with you, I still haven't watched the last episode bc I really got tired of their bullshit. I love the show and I really love the characters, but this season just wasn't it. I am gonna try and finish it today with hopes that they will end it in a decent way (I don't think so but whatever).
It's not a secret by the end of this post that I'm a spanish native speaker so, yeah, I tried my best to write down correctly the ideas that I had about the show, so PLEASE don't come at me.
I'm also writing a fanfiction about Rafe, but I'm doing it in spanish because I feel like if I wrote it in english I would fuck it up.
Maybe I will try and start uploading Rafe imagines or smth like that, bc they would be shorter and easier to write for me.
PLEASE if you have any thoughts or a comment that you wanna add after reading my rant, just do it, I'm for sure gonna be answering y'all because I love to talk about the show and the characters.
BYE P4L
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yaminerua · 6 months
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How are they planning to make a tv show out of pre-accident Rimmer and Lister having shore leave shenanigans on Titan?
I mean maybe a one-off episode or special or something but I still don’t really see the appeal of anything more than that
we know Rimmer and Lister’s dynamic pre-accident from things we’ve seen and been told but I think it’s more interesting to explore where that dynamic has become after everything that has happened to them since the accident
I already mentioned before how Cat (and later Kryten) are important in the way they round off the cast dynamics in the original series so without them you’ve got a Rimmer and Lister who are freshly antagonistic to each other and have none of the later development that will happen to them
and I daresay whoever they recast to play them has a damn-near impossible task of matching Craig and Chris’ portrayals
it’s not like it would be fully impossible but they’re such established characters at this point and the casting was like the planets aligned. Craig elevates Lister from what he was originally meant to be and I think his cheeky charm is what warms you to him, what makes him work where other attempts at playing lister have flopped
and with Rimmer I don’t know how Chris manages it but he plays Rimmer in such a way that even though he’s supposed to be a hugely unlikable bastard of a man you somehow still love him for it anyway. Loveable bastard is a hard target to hit right
maybe it’s just that I’m too fond of them as they are so my expectations are too high but idk
so much about this doesn’t really do anything for me but if it turns out to be ok that’s great but if not idk
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aleksa-sims · 6 months
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RL Simself Story ( 18+)
CW: Adult topics, pregnancy, cheating...
Nico's really not normal! But well, that's nothing new. After Damian & Martin, his.... soccer team mates (😒) left, I was of course totally mad at him for what I heard. They talked about me like I was just some kind of..... bitch for N. But his poor Stephanie, she’s so innocent... That girl, is totally crazy! 😡 She threatened Nico to hurt herself, just because things don’t go the way she wants. Sorry, but that's insane! And tbh, I have nothing against Damian & Martin. It wasn't their fault. They didn't know it was ME. And they are the only ones of N.'s team mates, I get along with. Anyway, that’s a different topic.
Besides, he said he loved his (ex) fiancée. when I overheard him and his two buds. But Nico just thought, who cares!? After he took a shower, he wanted me to jump right into bed with him. 😠As if everything was fine.
Nico: Come to me, babe. I'm all yours. 😏
Me: Are you losing it?... You really think I’m gonna jump into your arms now? 😒
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Nico: C'mon, I didn’t say anything bad about you!! I don’t talk about my private matters with my team mates. But Damian that fucker, read our texts. He & I shared the same apatment in Italy. He took my phone that jerk. I just told them I broke up with her, but I didn't say WHY!! But yeah, they knew I was seeing someone else bcs D. couldn’t keep his mouth shut. So Martin that dick, thought I was cheating. You got it now?
Me: You told them you loved her! I don’t get why you fall for that pity shit she’s telling you?... But well, you only dumped her bcs I didn't wanna sleep with you as long as you were with her. 😡
Nico: I said that I will NOT cheat and I also told you, that I wanted to end it with her anyway. YOU, love Daniel and you’re fucking married!
Me: But Daniel took off!!!!!! It's over!!! He’s not here! He doesn’t show up all the time and wants something from me like your crazy Stephanie.
Nico: Put yourself in my position! Imagine Daniel is Stephanie..... You would also feel bad if you left Daniel. Or not? And she’s not playing that, she’s really.... fucked up & upset.
Me: I’d rather die, than hurt him sm. You understand? I would never have met you, if Daniel had stayed with me. 🤦‍♀️💔...... I accepted that he’s gone, but you?? Idk what you want N.?... Get off me. I fuck off.
I walked towards the door. I wanted to go home. But he stood in front of the door and wouldn’t let me go, so he literally pulled me away from there and asked me to listen to him.
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Nico: Now listen! You know me. Do I look like I’m lying to you? I love you.... When I saw you again a week ago, I knew it right away. You didn’t even have to say or do anything. Just seeing you was enough for me to know I wanted you. And remember what I told you. I don't play around! I don’t need a second girl, bitch, fiancee or whatever. I want just one! But with that one girl, I wanna do what I want, without me constantly having to explain something. I want you to finally trust me! Fuck what others say or think. That’s unimportant! Only what I say counts for you. The same applies to me. I only listen to you and what you want from me. I don’t give a shit about everyone else. For me, you are always in the first position. That’s exactly what I expect from you too. And I’ll settle that damn issue with Stephanie, as I said. But you have to trust me! I don’t want her, I want you! And also my damn sister, FUCK HER! Melanie can’t hurt you!! I won't let that happen!!! Ok?
Me: Idk if I can? I wanna trust you, but... sm has gone wrong for me. It's pretty damn hard to trust.
Nico: Then please at least try! It’s only 3 fucking days, until her damn family gets back home. After that, it’s just you & me, babe.
Me: But you still love her. You said it yourself.
Nico: I swear, I don’t love her like I love you. Idk how to explain it?I’m not good with words. You might get me wrong, if I try, but I don’t want you to think I only want you for that one thing. This is simply not true.
......................
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Nico: I'm sorry, but I have to shag you now......
Me: Somehow you always have to.
Nico: Yeah, okay I'm hooked on you. And I’m not doing this just for me. I love making you... happy. Tell me, did P. make you happy too? Or-.. no, no! Not P.! I saw how Philip did it to you. I wanna know what Daniel did to you.
Me: Seriously N.???... You really wanna hear what Daniel did to mer? In... bed.
Nico: Sure, babe.
Me: Why am I even surprised? You're insane, N.!
Nico: Tell me.
Me: I loved it with him. Otherwise I probably wouldn’t have married him, if....he didn't feel good to me. But there are many moments with Daniel, that I don’t remember. We're constantly high. Still, D. was... great... But he’s almost as horny as you. I think it had to do with his addiction. I know that from myself. When I was sober and had this shit in my mind, I wanted to sleep with him. As if Daniel could get me high or something. He... reminds me of that stuff.
Nico: I gotta get Daniel and that damn shit out of your head!
Me: If someone can do it, that person is you! But I only think about you when we’re together anyway. I loved you so much N., I can still feel it.
.......
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Nico: I know you love me. You always had a hard time telling me, but I knew it, whenever you touched my face... ILY, too.
Me: You really noticed that?.... Yeah, I guess I never stopped loving you.
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I stayed with him again, but slowly I had to go home. My parents will be wondering where I spend all those nights and with WHO? I’m an adult, yes! I was 21 at the tim. But I was still married. They’ll think I’m using again or that I met a new, strange guy woh's doing drugs with me.... Anyway, the next morning I went out with Nico’s dog, I went shopping. I got a pregnancy test. Yesterday I had no success with it. I was not allowed to enter the pharmacy with Nico’s dog bcs I had no muzzle for him, but that morning I finally got a test. I had to tell him and I think I started to fall in love with N. again. The night with him was incredibly........ hot, but not only because of that. N. has changed. He was so cute. Of course he was still crazy and maybe still a bit too demanding, but that's ok for me and I can handle it.
Also I never would have let go of Daniel so fast with any other guy. But with N.... all the feelings and emotions I had for him, were still there. I had only "repressed" them, when he left a year ago. But I’ve always known, that Nico is someone special to me, whether we’re apart or together. Idk why it was like that, bcs he wasn’t really nice to me at the beginning, as you know. But I knew he loved me. I think he just couldn't handle his feelings/emotions for me really well in the past. And if I'm honest, I wasn't easy too. I was a challenge for him. Not just for him. For my family too. It was an intense time and Nico was constantly under enormous pressure because of soccer. I just didn’t mention it so often back then. I believe that all those factors played a part and triggered his anger. It was too much for him. I was too much for him. And there was also this thing with his dad, who was a total ass. This man made Nico so MAD, that he didn’t like my Dad either, and so it came to all those probs with my family too.
Also, his ex showed up! I couldn’t stand her whole fake pity show. And it hurt me like hell to see her & Nico together. I swear, Philip and Natasha were NOTHING compared to that! I ran away as usual. But I’ll tell you next time.
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"The Lover's Quarrel" ~ S. Harrington
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Summary: Steve gets beat up, Reader has to clean him up, and then they tell each other "I love you" for the first time.
Pairing: Steve Harrington x GN!Reader (only one use of Y/N)
Word Count: 535
Content Warning: explicit language, Billy makes derogatory sexual comments about Reader, mentions of blood, Steve do be injured, mild mention of food, lmk if I missed anything!
Genre: Angst to Fluff? idk whatever "taking care of each other" falls into 🤣
Extra Notes: yeah crappy summary as per usual, i know 🤩
Based On the Prompt: "I've Got Red In My Ledger" - broken nose (from 2021 Whumptober Prompts)
Originally Written: 10/23/2022
Beta Read By: @dungeons-are-too-cold
honeysuckleharringtons main masterlist can be found here!
honeysuckleharringtons whumptober masterlist can be found here!
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"You gotta stop doing this," I commented, placing the ice pack over Steve's now blackened eye.
"He was asking for it," he mumbled, wincing at the coldness.
I turned back to face him, dabbing at the blood sliding down his lip. "What did he do this time?" I asked, already knowing Steve's answer.
His non-black eye narrowed sarcastically. "It's Billy Hargrove. Do you really have to ask that?"
"OK, I understand the guy's an asshole, but at least tell me you had a reason for him to break your nose this time."
He gasped, his eyes filling with sadness. "Did he really break it?"
"Yes, Steve. That's what happens when you keep getting into fights," I scolded as I placed a Band-Aid on his cheek.
The room stayed silent, save for the winces Steve would let out whenever I'd touch a sensitive spot on his face. The air was cold, causing him to shiver as he leaned back against the cabinets, his long legs dangling over the kitchen counter where he sat.
I was the first to speak again. "So what really happened?" I asked, more sincerely and less sarcastically than earlier.
"He, uh…" Steve hesitated, his eyes screwing shut as I placed another bandage on his cheek.
I swallowed, knowing by the expression on his face that I wasn't going to like his answer.
"He was talking shit about you."
My eyebrows raised in slight disbelief. "He what?"
"He was saying all sorts of shit about you and saying you were easy just because you're with me… so I punched him."
I kissed his forehead, practically the only spot on his face that was left undamaged. "Well, thank you. But I promise, I'm no reason to break your pretty nose and bust those luscious lips."
He let out a light huff, cracked a small smile, and took my hands in his. "I promise you, you are the only person I'd be willing to get a broken nose for. Well, OK, maybe Dustin if it was for a good enough cause."
I laughed quietly, running my hand through his hair. "Well, I don't know about Dustin, but I appreciate your kind gesture."
"Always. Anything for the person I love most."
I was taken aback by his use of the word love. Neither of us had ever really used it, outside of one bantering use in the sentence, "I love you so damn much," when I brought Steve ice cream at work once.
"You really love me most? Out of everyone in your life?" I inquired, my stomach doing a loop-de-loop as I processed his words once more.
"Of course I do. You're beautiful, kind, you put up with shit like this at 2 a.m. on a weeknight," he chuckled, "and most importantly, I love you most because I know you love me most."
My lips turned upward as I leaned into him, basking in the feeling of his hands resting on my back. "Well, you are right about that. I do love you most. More than anyone has ever loved someone before."
"Well, that's where you're wrong, Y/N Y/L/N," he chuckled, "because I love you more than anyone else has ever loved someone before."
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Um... so obviously this isn't what everyone was expecting...
I know, I missed some Whumptober posts, but I have a plan to make up for it!!
As most everyone knows, next month is nanowrimo! That being said, i was going to take a short break posting on here to work on my novel during nano. But, my plan now is to (as far as fanfics go) only allow myself to work on the Whumptober fics i missed, and everything else I write will be for my novel.
So, you guys will be getting all the Whumptober fics I missed, just not during October.
I do apologize for not writing those yet. I wish I had an excuse but tbh, I don't really know why I stopped writing them.
Anyway, I hope everyone enjoyed my next Whumptober installment!! 🫶🏻
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-> Taglist: @dungeons-are-too-cold @ducky-is-dead-inside @awkotaco24 @liberhoe @princesseddie @aftermidnightwriting @manuosorioh
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