#like if we had the same internet awareness/ skill set people would have been getting straight up DOXXED

[sweettart222]

Was anybody in the aphmau fandom on Google + when it still worked because let me tell you, that place was fucking crazy. The shipping wars, the anti Aarmau community, that one time Jason called out the Anti Aarmau community which quite literally caused it to be quite literally under siege, the role plays( which were my favorite part), that crazy lowkey p*rn*graphic aphmau pictures ( usually of Garroth and Laurence or Zane and Travis) that I’m pretty sure was floating around in a fandom full of young minors and the overall toxicity (It was to the point were we had a to have a peace group “The Peace Between Aarmau And Anti-Aarmau” I think). Google + was a wild place to be

[bookwyrminspiration]

(warning: this is... long. i had to put post dividers on this to make it readable. i would have put a read more but i can't in an ask, sorry.)

i think the most puzzling thing of all about this drama is that like.... i've been doing this forever. i've been posting keefe/fintan stuff (not regularly, but still!) since at least feb 2022 on the dolentsnows account. hell, i KNOW i've even talked about tam/linh specifically before then, though i can't remember if it was public or not.

and there was no problem! people just blocked each other and filtered and it was fine!

i'm frankly just. SO confused as to why that post of all things is what set it off. like guys. what.

also, re: "it normalizes pedophilia/incest/abuse/whatever" my posts get like ten notes max, most of those being likes from my dear mutuals who dont necessarily love the stuff i do but still wanna show they support me anyway.

if you'd just think for a minute, i think it's pretty easy to see that no one's gonna be converted into a sex freak any time soon.

and the fact that people are calling me a pedophile for... *checks notes* writing about characters that are the same age as i am or older in relationships with adults is. something. especially considering that:

in all the ACTUAL content i've made, excluding ONE post about alvar being keefe's gay awakening, the characters have been over the legal age in france (my country), so even the "it's illegal" argument falls apart.

why do you immediately assume i'm imagining myself to be the adult here? you don't know what's going on in my life. you don't know my reasons for doing what i do. i started shipping those kinds of ships ever since i was a pretty young kid, and i don't have to explain myself to anyone. (note: i am not a victim of csa, just want to make that clear. i've got other shit going on. but also you guys don't actually care about survivors and it's obvious.)

and fun fact: incest is legal in france as well, as long as it's between two consenting adults. i have decided, right now, effective immediately, that linh and tam are both over 18 in those drawings. since it's legal it means there's no problem right?

all this to say, let's just drop the whole "legal = moral, illegal = immoral" train of thought right here.

i do have one thing to apologize for, though: i didn't properly tag the first post. that has since been rectified and i've added community labels for good measure. i have and will apologize again for that mistake because it was entirely on me. i'm genuinely sorry to the people who saw that with no warning and i won't make that mistake again going forward.

but i also know that there are people who clicked on some of my posts even after i added the community labels and then complained (in my ask box, no less!) and to those i say: just read the tags, guys. they're still visible even with the community labels hiding the post.

sorry for the angry tone, but i am kind of miffed about all this. mostly that it turned into such a big deal when it really didn't have to be.

to conclude: stay strong out there guys, hopefully modern fandom will develop basic internet skills one day.

No worries about the length or tone, you're good.

I believe the reason that one post sparked issue is because, I don't know if you're aware, there's actually been a pretty significant surge in new fans in the past few months following info about Unraveled.

So while you have been here and posting your stuff for a while, for a good chunk of the currently active people, I think that was their first time seeing you. And also possibly one of their first times seeing art/ships like that up close, since keeper tends to be a first/earlier fandom.

Hence the stronger reaction. Though I don't think it's fair to blanket statement say they don't care about survivors. That's the sort of strawmanning/ad hominem talk that leads to shutting down/self-defense that doesn't get us anywhere. We can all rise above logicial fallacies <3

But anyway, the worst seems to have passed, unless we all feel like regressing for some reason :)

[writingwithcolor]

Gingerbread man as golem

@yaronata asked:

I would like to write a character who is Jewish and uses a Golem. She's based on the D&D class of the artificer which looks magic but isn't, because they produce all their effects with inventions, like the "any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic" quote. Her story is that her very Jewish town was under attack from a terrible monster when she was little. Her Rabbis made a Golem to protect the town, and it succeeded but was torn to pieces in the process. She was fascinated by the Golem and as a kid didn't see a big difference between it's sentience and person's so was really thankful for its sacrifice like you would a person's sacrificing their life for you. They thought all the pieces had been devoured by the monster before it died, but she went looking and found the piece used to animate the Golem, which she, kinda misunderstanding called its "heart". She kept the piece and grew up to be an incredibly skilled cook, specialising as a baker in the town. I imagine she would make a lot of really good food for the Jewish holidays, or to break fasts on ones like Yom Kippur or Tish'abav. But she also made a town specific holiday to honour the Golem's sacrifice and the town still being alive, because I feel "we are not dead woo" is a big theme for Jewish holidays from my research, so it could fit, for which she invented ginger bread men to be the golem, and gave them little "hearts" of fruit or honey, and you're meant to eat them limb by limb like the beast did before eating the heart. This would be the inspiration for using the "heart" piece later to make her own giant gingerbread Golem to help her save the world.

These are my questions 1) would it be considered bad or disrespectful for someone who isn't a Rabbi to make a Golem, or is this method of taking an animating piece someone else made disrespectful? 2) Her journey will take her far from her town and her Jewish family and friends and she will likely travel with gentiles. Would it be disrespectful for a Golem to be used to protect a lot of gentiles and one Jew in the course of saving the world? I don't want to fall into the stereotype of someone putting all their effort into valuing and protecting very specifically the group that in real life is oppressive to them. 3) While she is not using magic and is actually mimicking its effects with technology she invents, is this drawing too close to the line of "magical Jew"? 4) I like to "play test" my characters in ttrpgs to really get a feel for them before I write. Would it be disrespectful to play a Jewish character when I am a gentile, and would it be disrespectful to play a Jewish character in a setting where there are demonstrably real gods other than the one of Judaism?

I really like this character idea and I think it's cute and fun and rooted in Jewish culture but I really want to make sure it's respectful and as good as I, a gentile researching on the internet, thinks it is. Thanks so much! Have a nice day!

My answer to this is very complicated because there are things I both like and do not like about this premise. First of all, I love the idea of a cookie golem, and I'm even imagining the magic word that brings him to life (EMET/truth) would be written in icing. And I'm okay with the part about how she found a piece of the old golem and used it to build a new golem, because that makes sense for a golem made from a baked good when you think about how people use sourdough starter to make a new batch of sourdough.

However, here are the thing that make me cock my head to the side like my little sister's German shepherd:

1. re: "magical Jew" - that's not a trope I've ever heard of. Remember, marginalized groups don't receive identical disrespect across the board. It is indeed a trope to use Black people or disabled people as supernatural plot devices who exist only to further the stories of white main characters or able-bodied main characters. But I can't say as I've ever seen anyone using Jewishness that way. Usually if we are someone's one-dimensional plot device it's as someone's lawyer, fixer, "money guy", etc, not a supernatural force. So this isn't something you have to worry about.

2. I have a certain level of discomfort with you playing as a Jewish character just because playacting as a marginalized culture you're not part of strikes me as off, but I understand that that's how you gain insight into a character you're about to write so it's more of a writing exercise than anything else. (I wonder if D&D regulars from marginalized groups have written about this -- I've only played a few times casually with family so if I did run into this type of discussion in my social justice reading I wouldn't have absorbed it. If anyone is curious I played first as Captain Werewolf, and then switched to playing as Cinnamon Blade because lawful good was too hard. :P )

3. I would prefer you omit the detail about eating the cookies piece by piece symbolically, for two reasons: a. it unintentionally evokes Communion by having appreciative people consume a baked good symbolic of an entity who sacrificed his life for theirs, and b. focusing on the details of flesh consumption reminds me too much of Blood Libel (yes, a gingerbread man is in the shape of a person but how many of us actually think about it literally, the way this act would cause?)

As to your first question: I'm fine with her making a golem even though she's just a rando. Second question: I see what you're saying and maybe it could be more okay if it's really clear how well these gentile folks are treating her? And questions three and four are answered above.

I really do love the idea of a giant gingerbread man golem. Cookie golem T_T <3

--Shira

I would like to second Shira’s point about not ripping apart the gingerbread cookies. I honestly would prefer they were used as decoration, and other cookies eaten instead, since that part just feels so not-Jewish to me, but I don’t have golem-specific issues other than that. It seems like you have already been doing a lot of research, which is appreciated.

As far as the ttrpg/DnD aspect… I bounce back and forth on the topic of playing characters that are so very different from our experiences, other than in fantasy-related ways. However, I am aware that a lot of people will play with, and experiment with gender in game, and learn something about themselves in the process (the number of trans players of ttrpgs who tried out their gender in game before they were out is high). It’s different with Judaism, and even more significantly different when it comes to things you can’t convert into, like various actual, real-world races. But because people do sometimes experience growth from experiences like this, I’m hesitant to dissuade players completely. I do urge you to, at a minimum, bring the same care, research, and willingness to learn, that you brought to this question.

--Dierdra

This sounds like a creative storyline that you could have lots of fun with 😊

At first I was confused by this part:

She also made a town specific holiday to honour the Golem's sacrifice

But then you really got me thinking about different types of Jewish holidays and how they come about, so thank you for that!

Because it’s often the little details that either make a story super powerful or kind of nonsensical, I think it would be a good idea to decide what type of holiday is being created here:

A full-blown chag with restrictions on labour and halachic obligations? These are commanded in Torah and new ones can’t be added.

A minor yom tov with halachic obligations but no restrictions? These were instituted by the rabbis prior to the destruction of the Temple, so again new ones can’t be added.

A public holiday or equivalent? This would usually be declared by the Knesset in Israel, and filter to the rest of the Jewish world from there.

A community-based yom tov with specific customs only for people in the know, such as certain Chasidic groups celebrating the birthdays of their deceased leaders? I asked around, but no one can really tell me how these holidays get started, which is probably a good indication that they arise quite organically from a group of people who all just feel that it should be celebrated. Probably not created by a single person, as such.

Something she runs from her bakery, not religion-based, but more like a day of doing special products and deals the way many small businesses do on their anniversary?

Now, if the people of a modern-day town were actually saved by a real live Golem, that would arguably be the most overt miracle for many generations, so there would be a decent chance of options 3 and/or 4 happening. It’s entirely plausible that there could be special foods for this day that become a tradition, including Golem cookies. People who directly benefited might also return to the site where the Golem fought the monster and recite the prayer, ‘Blessed is Hashem, Master of the Universe, Who performed a miracle for me in this place.’

Alternatively, if it’s important that your MC created the holiday, something like option 5 might be the best. Hopefully this will still fulfil what you need: you describe her as incredibly skilled, so I can imagine the day when she goes all out on the Golem cookies being one of the most exciting events of the year for the townspeople, just because her baking is that good. Plus, they already have a personal stake in the Golem’s sacrifice, so I definitely think it could be a thing without being an official holiday. Also, if she is outside of an all-Jewish environment, don’t forget that she would have to decide whether to commemorate the anniversary in the Hebrew calendar or the local one.

Coming back to the cookies, sorry if we’re getting a little repetitive on this point! But I don’t see the cookies being torn limb from limb as part of a celebration. First of all, this doesn’t sound like a very celebratory thing to do, to say the least. Can you imagine explaining that to a three-year-old on their first Yom HaGolem? They would be terrified! (I don’t read this suggestion as accidental anti-Semitism so much as getting carried away with a metaphor, which I’m sure as writers we have all done!)

But also, it’s worth pointing out that our commemorative foods aren’t usually that literal. If you think about hamantaschen, maror, or apple in honey, they’re all symbols. That’s not to say that having Golem-shaped cookies is a problem, as this sounds like just a bit of fun that the MC is having and not something that is directly at odds with Judaism or Jewish culture. But it’s worth bearing in mind that the more literal you go from there in terms of tying the cookies to the event they commemorate, the less culturally aligned your holiday food becomes.

Finally, about the Golem protecting non-Jewish people: I like this idea! There’s a stereotype that we only use whatever is at our disposal to help ourselves and other Jewish people, so a Golem being created by Jews but helping others as well is a big plus for me. Of course, as has already been pointed out, this would be an odd choice if her Saving The World team were anti-Semitic or otherwise disrespectful to her/her community, but I don’t think you were headed that way!

-Shoshi

I have to come back in here just to squee over the phrase “Yom HaGolem.” Well done :D

--Shira

[freddyfreebat]

Jack Dylan Grazer Discovers Who He Is in Luca Guadagnino's “We Are Who We Are”

After supporting roles in the It and Shazam!, the young actor shifts gears with his turn as a capricious army brat in the Call Me By Your Name director's new HBO series.

by Iana Murray / Photography by Nik Antonio  —  September 14, 2020

A few years ago, Jack Dylan Grazer took a trip to the movie theater. He was in Toronto and it was one of his days off from filming Shazam!, the DC comedy in which he plays the shape-shifting hero’s foster brother. He decided to watch Call Me By Your Name, and he immediately fell for it. Grazer took note of the director’s name that appeared in the credits—Luca Guadagnino—and turned to his mother.

“I want to work with him,” he told her. With eerie prescience, she assured him: “You will.”

Whether Grazer, now 17, has a knack for manifestation, or it was all just happenstance, his wish came true in the form of We Are Who We Are, Guadagnino’s coming of age drama which follows a group of army brats living on an American military base in Italy. Thematically, the show is something of a spiritual successor to Call Me By Your Name: Grazer plays Fraser, a tempestuous 14-year-old with a pair of headphones constantly plugged in his ears. He’s the new arrival at the base with his mothers (Chloë Sevigny and Alice Braga), and quickly forms a deep bond with his neighbour, Caitlin (Jordan Kristine Seamon), as they both wrestle with their sexuality and identity in the midst of domestic troubles and teenage debauchery.

“He’s an enigma to himself,” Grazer says of his character. “He doesn’t really understand a lot of the things he does but he’s so forthright so he convinces himself that he knows everything. He feels like other people don’t deserve his intelligence. But he’s also very volatile and aggressive at times, and not because he’s coming from an angry place but because he’s constantly questioning who he is.”

If Fraser is just beginning his coming of age when we first meet him, Grazer is inching closer to the end. Starring in enormous blockbusters including IT, he became the Loser Club’s resident hypochondriac at age 12 and a superhero’s sidekick by 15. His films have grossed a combined total of over $1.5 billion. Suddenly the stakes are multiplied tenfold during what are ostensibly, and horrifyingly, the most awkward years of your life. Every misstep is now being monitored, examined through a microscope of millions. (See: His 3.8 million fans on Instagram, to say nothing of the countless stan accounts.) Child fame is a disarming transaction like that: a stable career and all the other perks of being a celebrity, but at the cost of normalcy. That unalleviating pressure forces a kid to mature fast.

Grazer is acutely aware of this fact, admitting outright that he’s “not a normal person.” But he wouldn’t have it any other way.

“I became 70 when I was 7!” he laughs. “I don’t know if I really had much of a childhood. But I didn’t want to. I wanted to grow up really fast.”

Nevertheless, he’s still 17. When we meet over Zoom, his shoulder length curls are damp and disheveled (he just got out of the shower), his black painted fingernails contrast with his brightly-lit, white bedroom as he rests his face on his hand. It’s a Saturday morning and he looks tired: It’s his first week back at school, which has traded classrooms for hours of video calls reminiscent of the one we’re currently on. “It feels like the days are shorter because the teachers don’t want to torture their students by keeping them on a computer for six hours a day,” he tells me. “You do miss the social aspect of being at school.”

If you were to judge Grazer by what’s out there on the internet, you’d expect an anarchic and relentless bundle of energy. A quick YouTube search brings up results like “jack dylan grazer being a drama queen” and “jack dylan grazer being chaotic in interviews for 4 and a half minutes straight.” He trolled a YouTube gamer on Instagram Live. His TikToks are inscrutable.

But here, he’s incredibly earnest, as he excitedly talks about his skateboarding hobby (a skill he picked up after auditioning for Mid90s) and his attempts to learn the flute (“I need to learn how to read sheet music, but it’s like reading Hebrew!”). He’s calm and thoughtful, as if this project we’re discussing requires a shift in sensibility.

For Grazer, acting had always simply been fun. While other kids might take up a sport or get hooked on video games, he performed in musical theater with the Adderley School because he “just wanted to play.” His roles so far have been reflective of his carefree approach to the job: Up until now, he’s portrayed best friends with biting one-liners, or the younger version of the protagonist in a flashback. IT is a prime example of both. In the horror franchise, Grazer plays a neurotic germaphobe running from a fear-eating clown, but in reality, the film felt like “summer camp.” Both films never felt like work; he just learned his lines and got to hang out on extravagant sets with his best friends. Likewise, school amounted to being pulled off set by a teacher in between takes to cram in the mandatory hours.

But with We Are Who We Are, he steps into his first leading role, one that required him to convey longing and confusion through Elio-like physicality and subtext. It’s abnormal to talk about the show as a turning point for an actor who isn’t even a legal adult yet, but Grazer explains that the show required him to radically change his approach to acting. He spent six months in Italy (“It felt like I was in Call Me By Your Name.”) and built up the character beyond what was on the page in collaboration with Guadagnino. “His philosophy is that we know our characters better than anyone else—even the writers—because we are the characters essentially,” he explains.

In many ways, Grazer absorbed that philosophy entirely. He describes the experience less as a performance and more like a “rebirth”—perhaps even an attempt at method acting. Over those months in Italy, the distinctions between actor and character gradually became indistinguishable. “I had no other choice but to act and surrender to Fraser entirely and throw Jack Dylan Grazer out the window,” he says. “I would go out and get a coffee as Fraser and walk like Fraser. That was just me trying to get into [character], but then I slipped at some point and just became Fraser.”

One day on set, he looked at himself in the mirror, and the hardened kid standing there with a bleach-blond dye job and oversized shorts was unrecognizable to him. He could only see Fraser. While talking about his character, he seems to unintentionally switch pronouns, from “he” to “I”, as if the two still remain one and the same.

The process was so transformative that it forced him to re-evaluate himself entirely. “I never really struggled with identity before,” Grazer tells me. “But I think the show opened up my eyes to question myself. Being Fraser forced me to question what I wanted and what I stood for and what I believed in. At some points, the show bled into reality.”

When asked how he has changed, he takes a pause and a pensive swivel in his armchair, unsure of how to answer. “I think I was more ignorant before I did the show,” he says, and he leaves it at that.

Coming of agers are a particularly well-trodden genre, but there’s a naturalistic, raw energy to We Are Who We Are that is distinctive from what we’ve seen before. Each character quietly struggles with their own problems and growing pains—for Fraser, it’s his sexuality. Caught in a fraught relationship with his lesbian mother and an infatuation with another man, his story doesn’t tick off the familiar beats. His personal discovery is instead internal and intimate. "I think every single person born as a boy has this guard. It’s this guard that they don’t even realize they have, where they’re initially like, ‘Being gay? I could never.’ But we’re all born as humans who are attracted to whatever we’re attracted to," he says. "I think that’s how Fraser interprets it as well. Yes, he’s reserved and nervous about it in the beginning because he’s unlocking this new idea for himself. He’s figuring it out, and that’s what you see in the show: him coming to terms with this idea."

As our conversation winds to a close, I ask him if Martin Scorsese ever visited the set—his daughter, Francesca, plays the confident cool girl of the show’s teen cohort—and his eyes widen. “That was actually a really stressful day,” he divulges. Still, he revels in the memory, speaking so fast it’s like someone has put him on 2.5x speed as he shows off his impersonation of Guadagnino. The director was so nervous about Scorsese’s presence that production halted that day.

“Luca was like, ‘I cannot do this today because Martin Scorsese is on my set. I don’t know what to do, this is not good for me. I will have a panic attack before the day ends,’” Grazer says in his best Italian accent. “It’s like if you’re a painter and Van Gogh shows up.” 

Admittedly, Grazer is also a self-proclaimed superfan of the Wolf of Wall Street director, and afterwards, he got to spend several days with his idol, as they went on lavish restaurant outings in Italy and talked about anything and everything.

He takes a second to compose himself. A giddy, Cheshire cat smile spreads across his face. The kid in him comes flooding back.

“...Oh my god!” he yells. “I met Martin Scorsese!”

[sanstropfremir]

I’d love your thoughts on BTS and their current image and music if you have them and aren’t afraid of the mindless internet hoards.

Personally, I liked a lot of their older stuff, but haven’t liked anything since I think the Fake Love promotions 3+ years ago. They’d started losing their personality and soul before that album cycle, but it feels like the sanitization of their image and artistry really kicked into hyperdrive after that. Now most of what they do seems like a sterile money grab driven by the Hybe hive mind which is a shame.

ok alrighty (cracks knuckles) let's get into it.

now that i've fully given myself a headache watching the majority of the bts videography, here are three points i'm going to cover:

performative character and the lack thereof

interesting aesthetics and the lack thereof, and

the inevitable cracking of perfection

ready, set, let's begin.

1.

idol music is very clearly definited by spectacle based aesthetics. and it's had that structure for its entire existence. so i gotta hand it to hybe for this one, because they managed to revolutionize being utterly fucking average. the triumph of bts is that they're just some guys and they look like just some guys. hybe found a niche in the system and then gamed that system to the tune of one of the largest musical acts in the world. they're not marketing bts as a romantic parasocial relationship, they're marketing them as your friends. and that is just as insidious to lonely kids as a run of the mill romantic fantasy. but that's not what i'm here to talk about today.

there's a pattern i find very interesting with bts mvs and that is that i don't remember anything about them. specifically, i don't remember the stuff that's happening IN the video; not the styling, not the setpieces, if i didn't know the members i doubt i would remember them either. what i DO remember, is how expensive the production is, and specific shots. i couldn't tell you what a single member was wearing, but i sure as hell remember that first upward angle shot of jungkook and the rusted park ride in spring day. or every single time they do that birdseye shot of jin in like every video. honestly as far as i'm aware jin has only ever worn a loose fitting beige longsleeve shirt.

it took bts a long time to establish any kind of consistent visual character. and the character they did establish.... i don't know if you can call a family-friendly-style clean aesthetic 'character'. they debuted as a hip hop group to little (comparative) success, and then made a switch to doing an early version of where they're currently at right now. if you've seen any of the mvs, you know that this is a pretty significant visual change. i don't think it is inherently a bad change, since the visual branding for hiphop based groups always tips over into iffy terrritory, but it is dramatic enough and early enough that it doesn't strike me as a natural evolution. concept switch ups are common, but they usually work because the members have established a bit of character for themselves, used their performance abilities and presence to fit into a niche in the group. the idol mould is perfect for showcasing the performers; that's its function. the groups that are the most fun to watch are the ones with stage presence, the ones who know how to perform, who can act all the parts they need to play. and bts? 4/7 actual performers on a good day. in my personal opinion it's 2/7.

i'm gonna expand on what i said about jimin here (this is technically the first part of this series), because it does apply to the rest of the group on the whole:

and i think here is where we see the main crux of the difference between taemin and jimin as performers: taemin has both an artistic and an idol persona. we know and understand him to do solo work that has a separate artistic meaning to just him being an idol. even though this performance was pre-move, i would still say this applies, because he's hot off press your number, where he's acting in a story based mv. jimin on the other hand just has his idol persona. he's not known for creating the same kind of storytelling that taemin is.

bts has been very insistent on the image of the group as a single unit. despite having the size of fanbase and the revenue that would make any official solo debut a massive success, none of them have done any substantial solo work. this isn't artistically a problem, and i think it's very admirable of them to be so dedicated to the image and the legacy of the group, when that can be an uncommon trait in the industry. i do however, think it starts to become an issue when we want to discuss what the artistic visions and images of groups are. shinee taemin and solo taemin have two distinct artistic representations, and taemin himself will attest to that. it's the same with all the shinee members that have solo careers, and the same with other groups. jackson, bambam, yugyeom, and jaebeom's solo work is all very different from got7. yixing's solo work is very different from exo's. even the subunits within exo all have their own character (cbx and sc). kpop groups all ostensibly are trained under the same system, so why the disparity with bts? mostly, it's their brand of "authenticity." it's impossible to perform authentically, by the nature of performance as a medium it is unnatural, and tragically, not everyone is naturally interesting, or suited to performing: that's why the performing arts even exist in the first place. it required painstaking training to be good at performing; it is a complex set of skills and those skills are not learnt by "being authentic." being an idol is not just the singing, dancing, rapping; that's only half the work. you need to be able to act to be a compelling performer. pulling your true self and emotions out on stage every night is a fast track to burnout and psychological issues, there's plenty of evidence. the only member of bts of whom i can say for some certainty has a persona and a stage presence is jhope/hoseok, a) because he's kept up a very specific brand in the solo work that he has done, and b) he has actual dance training, not just kpop dance training. the rest of them may have the kpop dance and the kpop vocal training, but what they do not have is the ability to market themselves as compelling performers on stage. taehyung is the only other member i would hesitantly give a semblance of persona and ability to, but i think he stumbled onto that mostly by accident. and if all the pieces don't each have a distinctive colour, how can the whole machine be visually interesting?

2.

bts may never have been able to establish an aesthetic brand, but what they did establish is an intellectual one. if you talk to a fan, the schtick they give is that "it's about the lyrics." as noble as having an intellectual or cerebral message is, what does that look like? how do you portray intellectual on stage, on film? what about intellectual is interesting to watch? cerebral, by it's literal nature as a descriptor, is very difficult to communicate in visual language because it is internal. to successfully communicate cerebrality and intellect in a short form medium like music videos requires a deft hand with metaphor that can elude even an experienced designer. and honestly? i don't know whether to applaud hybe's visual team for being the most successful subtle contemporary designers i've every seen, or to decry them as worst kpop designers i've ever seen. maybe both. regardless, i don't think they're able to cross the gap.

there are exactly four mvs where i actually remember the content of the mv and not the frame it sits in, and those are dna, idol, the singularity comeback trailer with taehyung, and war of hormone. and of an eight year career......that's not very many. these four mvs have at least an inkling of interesting spectacle and character, but even then, it's still a stretch. there is absolutely nothing to write home about in the styling for dna, other than it's well colour matched. I don't even know if I should include singularity because it involves none of the other members. idol is probably their most interesting mv because it actually has alternative styling and varies (at least a little bit) from the standard hybe boom crane shot-that-shows-off-how-we-can-afford-big-studio-spaces-and-locations. the company and the group would be loathe to admit it, but war of hormone is a well designed and interesting mv for the time it was made, with a well crafted gimmick and some actual showing of character from the members. it was the start of a potential that they squashed quite quickly because it wasn't picking up in the hiphop-group-saturated market of 2014. but the rest of their mvs? remarkably uninspired styling. like it's truly impressive how boring the styling is. and like i've said, that is the triumph in their aesthetics: they all look like normal dudes (if you had professional skin + makeup techs looking after them for the last 8 years).

all of this is a carefully crafted image that's tailored to hooking an audience, especially an international one. the mvs are boring in the relative scale of kpop, but they're just different enough from a western pop mv to catch attention. and once you do sink a hook, there's a direct clickfunnel of content that bills itself on these men being "authentic" and "self-producing," which is a huge draw to international fans, because people are racist and believe that the kpop industry is a factory that produces idols like clones, where none of them know how to do anything other than sing and dance and all the music is just handed to them by companies. and they have SO much content that there's no way a new fan can get to it all in a timely manner, so they'll never have to engage with any other kpop artists' work if they don't actively seek it out. but that's another essay for another time.

3.

that brings us to current day, in which at least the last five bts releases have been in the same aesthetic vein of positive, sanitized, and pristine. i said it in one of my txt responses and i will say it again here: money scrubs the humanity from the aesthetic of living. minimalism is for rich white people. hybe and bts may have pivoted their style and brand directly into the lane of mass appeal, but when you pair that with the amount of money funding them, there's a cognitive dissonance between the message and the aesthetics in which it's portrayed. some people do like the clean cut looks, and i won't say that they don't work, but as you've likely gleaned from this response, it isn't my style and if you've been around and reading my writing for longer you'll know that my tastes runs much closer to the messy and the weird, so very little about any of bts' visuals have appeal to me. i do find the contradiction of applying the appeal of radical relatability with the aesthetics of expansive (and expensive) minimalism interesting; it's an extremely fine line that hybe is walking and eventually they are going to tip over, the porcelain mask will not hold forever. maintaining the all ages aesthetic is going to be difficult now that all of them are grown ass men. with other groups of this member age and generation there's very obviously been a shift to a more adult tone, and not necessarily explicitly. got7, mx, nu'est, btob, shinee, 2pm, and groups that have older members like a.c.e and sf9 have all made slow shifts in tone that are undeniably aimed at a maturing audience: they know their core fanbases are aging with them and they (the fans) are not as interested in the 'boy' in boy group. and most of them have telltale visual styles, enough so that i can distinguish a specific group's mv. the last year and change of mx mvs have a very distinctive character; got7 too, since easily as far back as if you do. i can always tell an a.c.e mv by its impeccable fashion and formic styling, and although shinee has always had a more experimental aesthetic edge, their sound and voices are unmistakable.

honestly, i can't predict what bts is going to do in the future, but i personally don't believe they can keep up their clean aesthetic indefinitely without some fallout. part of the fun of following bands is watching them grow musically, and the last couple of years of bts haven't felt like growth. there are fans that have already started realizing it, and there's likely to be more soon.

---

the third part is here, which is a short followup about some of bts' industry influence.

[twh-news]

Interview: Makeup Artist Douglas Noe on Loki’s Looks Through the Years & Creating Anew for ‘Loki’ [EXCLUSIVE]

Douglas Noe has been in Hollywood for three decades. An award-winning makeup artist, he’s worked on projects such as World War Z, Planet of the Apes, Spider-Man 3, I Saw the Light, and Birth of a Nation. On top of these impressive credits, he’s also been Tom Hiddleston’s personal makeup artist since joining the MCU in The Avengers, designing all of the looks for Loki’s subsequent appearances.

Noe has been nominated for three Emmys with one win, and five Makeup Artist and Hairstylist (MUAHS) Awards resulting in two MUAHS awards. His skills include creating making natural and period looks, prosthetics, hair, and tattoos.

Along with being the head of the makeup department for the most recent Disney+ series Loki, Noe is also creating looks for the new Netflix comedy series True Story starring Kevin Hart and Wesley Snipes.

We had a chance to chat with Douglas Noe about his work on Loki, The Avengers, the incomparable value of teamwork on set, and most importantly, Richard E. Grant.

Nerds and Beyond: So you started your Marvel journey with The Avengers, but what drew you to your field in the first place? And how did you get your start?

Douglas Noe: Star Wars was a huge influence to me as a young boy, both sketching and drawing, and a little bit of sculpting but not much. Cut to 1983, Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” comes out and I find a magazine called Fangoria on the newsstands where I can order blood and wax and pencils and fake hair. So, I started playing with these things. I was also taken with the horror movie craze that was happening in the early 80s — Nightmare on Elm Street and Friday the 13th, and others, obviously.

In High School, in 1984, I joined choir thinking I would get an easy credit, but my voice had not changed. So the choral instructor had been waiting for a boy soprano to do a theatrical opera presentation. So with that I sang the lead, I quit choir after that, because my peers were merciless, but, I learned the world of theatrical makeup which I hadn’t been introduced to.

I did years of theater. I went to a performing arts high school — it’s called Fort Hayes School for the Performing Arts in Columbus, Ohio — graduated, went to beauty school, and continued working in Ohio doing industrial, commercial, theater, and opera [makeup]. Worked for Maybelline and Revlon, got restless, worked in Cincinnati on my first film in the summer of 1990, it was July so 31 years ago, A Rage in Harlem. And my boss said you come to Los Angeles, I’ll make sure you get on your feet.

Nerds and Beyond: So you mentioned that it’s been about 31 years since your career started, what’s changed over the course of those 30 years in your field?

Douglas: How much time do we have? I’d say the biggest, biggest change would probably be the way we make these things now. Although another large change, more specific, would be the materials that we use. There’s a constant evolution and reinvention of almost all aspects of the materials that a makeup artist uses. That said, I have to shine a light on the way we do things now with the onset of digital and digital cameras. Shooting on film now has almost completely fallen by the wayside. Film was very forgiving, quite frankly, and now it’s not so forgiving. And because of that, the bar has been raised. The wonderful thing about this journey is watching my peers just get better and better and better, my colleagues rising to meet the challenge of not having anything to hide from with this new way we make films.

Nerds and Beyond: So, sometimes you kind of throw prosthetics to the wayside in favor of a more traditional makeup. How do you make that decision on which one to go with?

Douglas: That’s an excellent question. The decision is based purely on what are we going to see. That’s where I start, what is the lighting? I have a conversation with the director of photography and I find out what is the dynamic. Obviously, I know from the script whether it’s an interior or exterior, or if we’re exterior but we’re going to be on a stage, if it’s day or night. These variables all play into my decision as to whether or not I should rely on my theatrical experience and ability to paint 2D to appear 3D, or go ahead and make small prosthetics and put them where I need to put them and use actual prosthetics in lieu of paint.

That has everything to do with lighting, locations, logistics, and because most of his [Loki’s] wounds appear on his arm and some on his face in the Void, it’s all very moody and very dark. And again, the theatrical quality of the paint is not going to be altered by the changing light, it’s just going to react the same way the rest of the face is going to react. It’s purple light, it’s going to make everything have a purple hue. There was no accounting for any correction that didn’t need to be done. There wasn’t anything wrong with that. It’s real.

Nerds and Beyond: So, you did make up for not only Tom on Loki, but you helped plan out the looks for everybody?

Douglas: Yes, what I do is I surround myself with strong talent. It’s all about team. I designed Wunmi Mosaku, Gugu Mbatha-Raw, Sophia DiMartino, and Tom [Hiddleston]. Regarding the rest of it, Neil Ellis, both Dennis Liddiard and I, added to the elements of his scars and wounds, which you would only see in close-ups.

The rest of it, the parameters are set — Blade Runner to Mad Men — and stay in those confines. And obviously, I choose color palettes for the women and there are parameters set for the men, but then it’s about team. I’m a big one on a team and not putting my thumbprints on other people’s work, but rather build other people up so they feel like they own what they’re doing.

My team consists of artists that also have stronger resumes and quite frankly, skills that exceed mine. It’s the mutual trust that allows us to keep a high level of artistic integrity in every aspect of the job. It also means I get the very best from my team, and it shows on the screen.

So, I didn’t have every look in my hand. Dennis Liddiard designed the Mobius character and I had Ned Neidhardt run with Gugu and turn up the volume on some of the elements that she already possesses that we can play with. Her eyes and lips, I think Ned turned the volume on both. And because we’re shooting in order, it’s a progression in the makeup you did.

Nerds and Beyond: When it came to Sylvie and Loki, when you when you’re doing those, did you try to kind of plan them both to have any similar things to give them a Loki look?

Douglas: It’s a fair question, but the answer is no. So again, I think the characteristics and traits that were going to be similar among them, aside from wardrobe and costume hints, were all character driven. And I did nothing with the makeup and hair to try to make them look or even closely resemble each other.

Nerds and Beyond: I want to kind of back up a little bit to Tom in the first Avengers film. That was by far one of his most standout looks. Can you tell me anything about what went into the creation of that absolutely tormented, haunted look that he had throughout that entire movie?

Douglas: Yeah, and that’s probably one of the elements that, because the character has evolved, we kind of left with Avengers because by the end of Avengers, and we carried it into Endgame, he does have a bit of an edgier look in Avengers, and not many people pick up on it. But the reality is he’s a little sculpted in Avengers.

I remember sculpting his cheekbones and temples, and doing a little play on his forehead for when he’s in the cell on the Helicarrier carrier with all that overhead lighting. I did like a little devil horn shadow, which is so subtle. The only person who’s going to notice is anybody who looks back at it and having read this and knows what to look for, but it is so nuanced and so subtle. And that’s the only place I think we did that. But the rest of him is very much chiseled and sculpted, but it’s a light touch.

And I think, again, as he evolved through the Marvel Universe and into the other movies that was something that was easy to leave behind, because I think that look played directly into his evil desire to rule over Earth. We rested that design element with that storyline.

Nerds and Beyond: It’s very clear too and I’ve always loved looking at that, because I’m a huge fan of the character. I’ve always loved kind of comparing how he looked in that movie to the rest of them.

Douglas: You’re on to me!

Nerds and Beyond: I’m not! I swear [laughs] So, what’s your best method for making the actors comfortable in the makeup chair? And with the final outcome?

Douglas: It’s dialogue; listening, talking to them, talking to their representation, whether it be an agent or a manager, and doing my homework and doing my due diligence to find out what’s going to make them comfortable the moment they walk through the door. I do my homework on them. It’s not just IMDb, it’s an internet search. So, I spend some time on the web and find out who these folks are, and if I find out, for example, they’re not one that likes to talk a lot, well, the writing’s on the wall, we’re not going to talk a lot, we’ll cut to the chase and get to the point. But also, it’s about building a rapport and building a relationship. Also, knowing that, I’ve said this in previous discussions, knowing it’s necessary to get out of the way.

Like if, for example, I’m not a proper fit for somebody, I have to be plugged in, I have to be aware enough to understand that it may not be working before somebody says to me, “Hey, this isn’t gonna work.” So it’s just about being open, especially as Tom’s personal on these projects and running the department, knowing that I don’t get to do everybody. I don’t get to put my thumbprint on other people’s work. Because not only is that disrespectful, it’s very often unnecessary, because I hire good people. I hire contemporaries and peers. Truly, you’re only as good as your weakest crew member. I surround myself with good people.

So, take Owen Wilson, for example, it would have been wonderful to do Owen’s makeup, but there were times when he was not going to be shooting with Tom and I was going to need to be ready for Tom or available to Tom, so it didn’t make sense. So I never touched Owen, I had Dennis Liddiard design that look and run with it. And then Ned Neidhardt took over that look when Dennis had to depart. That’s just one example of not trying to do everything.

Another one was the Classic Loki. I wanted to do Richard E. Grant’s [makeup] so bad, I can’t even tell you. I’ve been a huge fan since 1987. I wanted so badly to bring that full circle, didn’t make sense. It just didn’t make sense. So again, I never touched him. It wasn’t necessary. Ned was always there. And I think the same thing happened to me on Ragnarok reshoots, which I ran in Atlanta again with Dennis Liddiard. I wanted so badly to do Sir Anthony Hopkins makeup, but it didn’t make sense. So I was happy to hand it off to Bill Myer.

Nerds and Beyond: Oh man, I loved Richard E. Grant in this show so much.

Douglas: He’s amazing.

Nerds and Beyond: He’s so good!

Douglas: He really is. And he’s that good in person. He’s just so fun and interesting and alluring and attractive. He’s such a wonderful, wonderful person and, of course, a phenomenal actor.

Nerds and Beyond: I was watching little videos that he posted and he just seems like the warmest person.

Douglas: You know, just one last tidbit about Richard Grant is he’s got wonderful stories and as he’s telling them he’ll often stop and pause and just laugh. Just laugh, not for the sake of the stories or for anybody that he’s telling the story to, but because recounting the story brings him true joy. So he’ll stop and embrace that joy. Oh, it’s so wonderful.

Nerds and Beyond: That’s so amazing to hear. What is the most memorable job that you’ve done?

Douglas: The most memorable … That’s a tough one because I have so many fond memories of so many projects. The first Avengers film was memorable because there was a buzz, there was a vibration, a frequency, that was in the air when we were shooting that. We kind of knew we were making something big and something special. I don’t think any of us knew how big or how special it would be, but that certainly is one of the most memorable and most special projects.

I’m pretty good about focusing on the positive aspects of all these things, regardless of how difficult the project may be for whatever reason. The pros always, always heavily outweigh the cons, but I have a lot of wonderful, memorable experiences. Another one, it’s the polar opposite only because of the conditions in which we shot, but Birth of the Nation was one of the most memorable and exceptional experiences of my career. I was on the wrong side of 40, had 25 years of experience, and had still never worked so hard in my entire life. We did a 50-day shoot in 27 days. So proud of the work we did.

It was 100 degrees with 99 percent humidity, we shot it in the summer in Georgia, in Savannah, so it was hot, humid, and just getting the makeup necessary to be on individuals to stay put was its own challenge. And then the other challenges only added to that. But Nate Parker, the director, writer, producer, and lead actor, he is a special human being. And he was inspiring from start to finish. Usually, the first people in are the teamsters, transport department, and usually I’m second. He beat me in almost every single day. He’s in three hours before he needs to be. That was a very special experience.

Nerds and Beyond: Finally, are you excited about the news of Loki Season 2?

Douglas: I’m beyond thrilled! I invite being in the dark a little bit, I kind of like surprises and I like not knowing, so I suspected, but hearing the news confirmed, I was thrilled, naturally. What are they going to dream up? This is amazing. How do you top season 1 of Loki? That’s the burning question.

[blee-bloop-im-a-bee]

a scuffed scuffed podcast summary/liveblogging?

(mostly focused on dream, quotes might be off but its the general gist, timestamps not exact to second lol)

- Praise and congratulations all around for Sapnap and Punz’s valorant skills 

- Dream: “well I woke up this morning and I found out I was a racist soo..” (context: Someone asked Jack how he felt about the Queen being racist and he replied that doesn’t really know anything about that and that he didn’t really care)

- They didn’t get into it though, Train said he was never going to get into Dream’s drama on this podcast (which he remarks is because it gives him anxiety, but I appreciate him for doing it nonetheless)

- on Tubbo joining in: Train confirming he would need a different cast because he’s concerned about Tubbo’s audience (& parents) and wants to set up another podcast properly where it would be more appropriate for them, to which Dream comments is respectable.  

- Dream mentioned geoguessr

- after Train’s weird (/lh) intro for dream 1:22:00---

     Dream: “You didn’t mention--oh nevermind it’s fine” 

     (Me, wondering if he was talking about his drama still)

     Train: “OH YEAH, AND ONE OF THE FATTEST C**** IN  HISTORY”

     Dream laughing and going “you didn’t mention it, you mentioned it for everyone else..” 

- Ludwig on having to limit his subs: yeah I’ve had to limit them but I found that some people have still managed to get around that

     “I don’t think anybody would try to get around that”- Dream

- They talked about the david dobrik drama, I didn’t care so much for the topic so I spaced out but Dream put in some thoughts about someone’s apology it seemed like he wasn’t on board with it (sorry I wasn’t paying attention)

- Dream, was that you that mentioned jenna marbles? (1:41:35) crumbs of my favorite ccs colliding??

- Dream: acknowledging the difficulty of females coming forward to speak out against creators for fear of being lashed out at by the fanbase (1:42:00)

- Abdou: Do you think big creators actually don’t realize the power they have?          Will: I think it’s more that they start forgetting that their fanbase are still real people... (neat food for thought, they were still talking in the context of david dobrik but because they were also mentioning how he achieved fame at a young age, i couldn’t help but think about dream)---- dream said nothing during this part

- topic on among us, Dream chiming in at 1:51:00 (spaced out didn’t listen)

- spaced out more, dream’s face reveal went trending on twitter apparently just cause of an earlier mixup when punz’s face showed up in the box where dream’s name was 

- in the background, dream was also on his private twt to reassure a fan commenting on how moe brought up dream’s fans negatively (i remember moe bringing us up but i didn’t catch the context)

- ~2:10:00 ish?? Youtube talk, dream didn’t say much :(

- Dream once again declaring that Ludwig will definitely keep streaming until the end of the month and that he’ll make sure of it

- Ludwig saying Dweam

- Ludwig not leaving until he heard Dream say goodbye which dream claims he did, and that Ludwig couldn’t pick and choose his goodbyes. Ludwig threatened to ban Dream’s alt to which Dream was like “NO no no don’t i want to be able to read your chat”

- Dream, loudly: “I have never had sushi” (not unprompted, they were talking about sushi, but I just liked how he said it-- he used the voice)

- Dream lore: He had walmart sushi. He got roasted for it (deserved)

- Talking about cancel culture:: ~~2:53:00        2:57:30 Dream brings up his drama and summarizes it but does agree that if he those videos about him been true, he should be cancelled (I think that was his gist?)

      Train’s point is that there is too many people who are quick to cancel, but when they are wrong, do nothing to make things right ie. Johnny Depp situation

      Moe acknowledging that theres a culture of bandwagoning on hating on popular creators

       3:01:00 Will bringing together all the points & mentioning Kacey and kpop stans bringing up the time they bought out trumps speech tickets- and hopes that all of the stans (kpop, minecraft) continue to have this passion when they turn 18 to affect the ballots

- Train talking about weebs and about to go a buck fifty, dream and karl were warning him to “be careful” lmao (i think train said something about how its always the ones with anime pfps saying the weirdest shit)

- I wonder what dream is doing while they’re all talking about manga/comics- I’m waiting for him to come in and say: I have never watched anime in that voice he didn’t end up saying this

Dream: “Gorillas are really strong..” King kong vs. Godzilla convo

Dream saying something about spiderman, then Train calling spiderman a pussy and like wtf man I was starting to think you were alright, and then talking over dream?? unforgiveable. /j

-oop they’re going back into cancel culture when Train reads out a tweet: ~3:34:00     I can’t summarize this, this is a little too deep for my sleepy brain, but I feel like train is talking about how quick to judge people are almost being ready to jump the gun just to cancel someone thinking that that person wanted to cancel him, but Dream is pointing out that both sides don’t really understand each other and that person probably wasn’t trying to cancel Train. Jack also spoke up to help clarify to which you could hear Dream agreeing.

     Dream acknowledges that there is a need for creators to make an effort to understand discussion that goes around and to be respectful at the same time, admitting that he’s reacted in anger in the past and disregarded discussions. 

     ^ There were a lot of points made, and I didn’t get all of dream’s responses. It was interesting conversation because we have Train being honest and venting his frustrations about cancel culture which I can sympathize with.  Dream (and Jack) spoke up a lot during the whole thing to try to shift Train’s point of view and the things he said were really admirable 

     Dream brings up the thing that happened with charlie a while back and said he dm’d charlie about that misunderstanding as dream puts it- and says that they are good now and saying something along the lines of open communication being so important

- Someone: “the only thing that matters is that my wife doesn’t cancel me.”      Dream: “that’s really sweet”  <- no u

-  “Would you let your kids watch on Twitch” Dream: As long as you’re aware and know about Twitch and Youtube, and as long as you teach your kids internet safety it should be fine

- Dream, on Train saying he hopes everyone will still be friends with him after this: “I actually hate you now” (in a joking tone). Dream wants to play among us with Train.     Dream, prompted to say one nice thing about Train and also the last words he said on the podcast: “An attractive motherfucker.”

[yurimother]

Interview: Shilin Huang, Creator of Amongst Us and Carciphona

Shilin Huang ( @okolnir​​ )is a Canadian freelance artist and comic creator, known for her long-running series Carciphona. She has a Bachelor of Music in Performance from the University of Western Ontario. Carciphona is a long-form fantasy story set in a world where demon-magic is forbidden. The series follows a young sorceress named Veloce, and the mythical assassin assigned to kill her, Blackbird.

Shilin’s newest book, Amongst Us, based on the webcomic of the same name, is an alternate universe comic that reimagines Veloce and Blackbird as musicians and girlfriends in the modern world. You can support the physical release for Amongst Us book 1 on Kickstarter today.

The first book of Amongst Us is coming soon. How do you feel about the release?

Eager and relieved!! I had worked for so long to make the web format viable for print format, as well doing all the extra drawings that were necessary--like covers--that I had to keep under wraps, it felt great to know that that part is finally done and I can release my child into the wild. I was very worried too before the launch of the Kickstarter, because though I am the one who made this story, I am not quite a slice-of-life type of person myself, and it was hard for me to see value in this mundane, not-plot-driven kind of story as a printed book. But I was very lucky to have that worry dispelled!

What drew you towards creating comics and artwork? Was it a dream of yours?

I’ve been drawing since before elementary school because I enjoyed it, and somewhere along the way, I wanted to create my own characters, and then I wanted stories for them. It was always just me doing what I felt like doing, more so than something that I aspired towards achieving consciously. If I had to analyze the allure myself, maybe it was because people and the world are so interesting, I’ve always loved thinking about their nature and circumstances, and art/storytelling was the best way for me to explore and share those thoughts.

Could you briefly walk us through your creative process for making a page of Carciphona or an episode of Amongst Us?

Carciphona is a long, plot-driven story, and so the scale of preparation required before the page eclipses the actual drawing of the page itself. [A] small moment has some larger impact in the plot, character development, and accuracy of world-building. So I usually spend about half a year or more writing out an entire volume, read it over many times over the course of the years, before I do the same thing with sketching the entire volume on the computer, rearranging pages and panels and entire scenes for best delivery, before I finally commit to drawing out each page in detail on the computer. 

Where Carciphona is like an elaborate set course where I chop up and measure ingredients and time their cooking with a careful game plan so everything can be served as they should, Amongst Us is more like an omelette that I’m making to taste. There is still planning and writing ahead of time, but each episode is much more self-contained, and I do more of the planning of the episode within the episode itself, adding and taking away details as I see fit before I feel like it reads naturally enough for me to fine line, colour, and paint.

You talk about being a self-taught artist, how did you learn to create artwork? What are some of your favorite educational resources?

While I did come across many tutorials, they were mostly short ones here and there made by my peers, so I don’t have any favourites in my mind that I can share ): . I learned by just looking at the art of my peers at the time and drawing a lot myself, thinking about what I could learn from each time I see something great, and what I could try next time to make the next drawing look better to me. When I had just started drawing digitally, the internet was quite new, drawing tablets expensive and uncommon, with no social media to share art or find resources. Over time, I did try to learn more properly by doing studies and seeking out professional tutorials, but I found that I hated it and decided that I’d rather learn and make mistakes at my own pace and be happy than to commit to effective and efficient learning and make myself dislike drawing.

Amongst Us is, of course, an Alternate Universe comic featuring characters from Carciphona. What inspired you to put your characters into a GL slice of life work?

Back in 2006, when I started drawing Carciphona, I had no plans of this frenemies dynamic for the two main characters, Blackbird and Veloce, and when the thought had occurred to me as I continue to tweak the story, canon GL relationships were still rare and rarely accepted. I was even told on many occasions by readers that they hope the two do not end up with some couples dynamic, or they will no longer be interested in the story. Ultimately, Carciphona was a fantasy story about an entire world, and I wasn’t going to risk the story’s reception over a small detail like whether or not Blackbird and Veloce sleep together, so I just played with the ideas of their relationship on the side, in paintings of many different AUs. Eventually, all that did was make me become so attached to the idea that I decided to say, screw it, I need someplace where they could be together, and I’m drawing an AU for real.

Where do you draw inspiration from for your work? Both Amongst Us and Carciphona.

I love a lot of things, feelings, aesthetics, and I eat up all of that and take it back out in the form of my stories. The inspiration is everywhere, from beautiful imagery I witness in pictures and in real life, to [the] lives of people that I hear about or experience firsthand, to the ethics and structures of professions from mechanics to medicine… In feelings, knowledge, and perspective, there’s an infinite amount of things that makes me think, and that thinking is what creates AU and Carciphona, whether or not that line of inspiration can be clearly drawn back to the root of the thought.

What are some of your biggest challenges or fears creating Amongst Us? Was there any realization or advice that helped you overcome those difficulties?

My biggest fear is always in relatability because it’s a difference between me and the reader that I do not and cannot have a solution for because it involves another person. In such a relatable genre as slice of life/comedy/romance, where the readers have more experience and therefore more varied but stronger expectations of a version of life that is relatable to them, I know that even if somehow I become a master writer, I still would not be able [to] say whether I could story that others would get or would be interested in, especially because I am aware I am an oddball when it comes to how I think, how I live, and what I value. What helped me the most was simply seeing that there were readers who did enjoy the stories for what it was, and reminding myself that I’m telling the stories to find those who might enjoy it, not to avoid those who might not. It’s a different perspective, rather than a solution, so the worry constantly resurfaces, but I hope it becomes easier over time as I am proven wrong more often!

Amongst Us readers have gotten to see Veloce and Blackbird as an established couple, and now we are witnessing flashbacks to how they first met. Where do you hope to take the series in the future?

I intend to tell both of these timelines concurrently, so as the couple timeline ended at episode 20, I intend to end the flashback at around episode 40, and then switch again at episode 60, and so on. While this kills the momentum for each arc, I made AU so that I can have the cake and eat it too--I want both their back story and a happy ending at the same time without having to wait 10-20 years for it, like I do with Carciphona’s plot haha!

What is one dream or aspiration you would like to accomplish? Even if it is unrealistic.

My only dream right now is just to finish both Carciphona and AU before my time’s up! Funny how unrealistic is specified, it made me realize that I rarely consider unrealistic dreams/aspirations as worth thinking about as they are unlikely to happen when there are so many other things I want to do that are actually possible. Most of my unrealistic dreams actually revolve around music, a profession I had left behind with an aching heart. I dream to play a concerto with an orchestra someday, or even learn to conduct, but for now, drawing my dreams out feels enjoyable and fulfilling enough a compromise!

What advice do you have for people wanting to create artwork and comics?

The true challenge these days I feel like is rarely in the work itself; there are so many readily available free resources that anyone who is capable of working hard and thinking critically will sooner or later be able to master skills they acquire to some degree. What is truly challenging is finding, and then accepting, what paths work for you. Someone might find great joy in working in a studio with a group on something big, while someone else might only enjoy drawing what they feel. Both, in this current climate, will be compelled to adhere to the standards of drawing what others want to see in order to gain recognition and financial stability, one will thrive, one will not. 

I think the most important thing to keep in mind is understanding what you want out of drawing/creating, and why. Understanding yourself is often not as straight-forward as it may seem, everyone has different circumstances that subtly motivates them to sometimes misdirect energy and misinterpret what it is they truly want. Some people need to be understood, some people want an excuse to execute, and some people want fame, money, recognition, validation. Whatever it is, and all valid, understanding and accepting your own motivations to create can tremendously help you find the path forward that is suitable for you, not anyone else, even if it might mean following an impractical path that no one else recommends.

Finally, after the release of the first Amongst Us book, what is next for you? Anything special your fans can look forward to?

My game plan through the decades has always been to just keep going. I did choose long-form projects such as the comics that I draw, and the best thing I can do is to just keep it up and reach those exciting points of the story that I’ve always worked towards, no matter how uneventful that may make my work routine sound. However, I do have a little side thing with a(nother) recurring theme that I’ve been doing here and there for fun whenever I had time, people who keep up with my social media art posts may have noticed. If I ever accumulate enough material, maybe there will be some bonus snacks for my readers on the horizon!

Read Carciphona and Amongst Us online now and be sure to support the physical release on Amongst Us book 1 on Kickstarter today. Also, be sure to follow Shilin on Twitter @Okolnir.

[ishikawayukis]

long ask ahead adklsfj i'm sorry lmaoo not me being like 'wait skz covered i'll be your man on kingdom? did i miss that bc i didnt watch the last episode' but apparently i forgot alsdkjfsl;fjaf i relistened and it's soo bad wtf i listened to the original to compare and i'm dying of embarrassment i can't believed skz won the entire competition when they sang like that in the second round. i personally would have dropped out voluntarily if someone heard me sing like that to be fair there are gems in 4th gen kpop who can sing really well, but they're usually like 1 person out of a whole group but even then why? idols go through so much training and you're telling me they still can't sing well? i think most of the reason lies in the companies and the industry bc i always hear idols singing in registers that are uncomfortable for them to sing in which probably messes up their voices (but fans don't give a shit and praise idols anyway). to bring this topic back to btob they were done so dirty in kingdom. i'm not a melody, but they deserved way more than what they were given most of the groups, esp the top 3 (which i was watching the show for, mind you), performed mostly the same bland concepts: dark, edgy, angsty, mixed with some weird lore tied to myth or supernatural to keep fans speculating and theorizing on the internet. and everyone ate that shit up because dark, edgy = strong, talented (i've noticed that with tons of popular media these days this is the case. being dark and edgy must mean your self-aware about the world and its relentless nature and it also means you're serious and realistic and take things seriously which is cool bc we're not kids we are serious adults but it's usually just surface level conflict and vapid ideas while shooting in a dimly lit setting (also super cool gfx!!). but i digress.) btob was able to utilize different concepts that weren't just "dark, edgy" which was a huge breath of fresh air. it shows that they really understand themselves and their songs, who they are as idols and what their songs mean to them, how they want to send these messages to their audience and fans. it also makes the stages actually memorable and distinct. it's no wonder i remembered several of btob's stages like back door, missing you, and beautiful pain (i kind of forgot blue moon, but the moment i saw the thumbnail i remembered how i really enjoyed it while watching) while i can barely recall any of the others' stages.

answering under the cut because it got kinda long oopsie

ok i fucking cackled after the second paragraph not gonna lie LMAOO you truly said so sorry for those men but- and i love it love the energy my dude gal or not binary pal. and yeah after i watched for the first time i had to immediately watch the original to cleanse my ears

there was a discourse about that a while ago! about kpop now mainly being about the visuals rather than the actual skills, and while there are plenty of groups that can and do sing, companies are more worried about debuting people as soon as possible instead of taking their time to hone their skills, and keep honing them after they debut as well. and yeah they usually make them sing in a way that is popular instead of a way that fit their voices. there are a bunch of great singers or idols that could be great singers if the companies would just, invest in their voices and not just their looks and the concepts

and dude i agree LMAO for me they should've won because they were the only ones with consistent and great perfomances that showcased their skills without getting repetitive and also showing great versatility (and sf9 should've been second the now or never perfomance was the only one that wasn't good but i will blame mnet on that but that's not the case right now i'm just always a fantasy on main LMAO)

after the first episode i remember i said a comment about that, that all 4th gen groups had a similar concept and that it was kind of funny to me, because the other 3 groups all had very different concepts that suit them really well, and you could see even if it was like by a year or 2 that the experience on the field does give you an upperhand when it comes to finding your style if that makes sense. and i'm personally not into the edgy dark concept at all i'm either a sappy bitch, a honry bitch or a bubbly bitch (i'll only accept dark and edgy if it's sexy because of the aforementioned reasons) and the lore things i couldn't agree more, what i liked the more about bitubi's and the sepgus perfomances was that what you see is what you get, even with move like yeah you could've found like deeper meaning to it but it was basically a beautiful performance, none of this having to invent reasons in a way for all of it to make sense

and that's what almost 10 years of experience does to you, they knew what they were doing and what their strenghts and weakness were and they knew how to play with them AND without a full team, imagine is all of them would've been there it would've been even more incredible. but yeah i agree with you so much, they truly understand who they are and what they wanna show

[tinyshe]

Chinese Leader Xi Jinping Lays Out Plan to Control the Global Internet: Leaked Documents                                                              

 By Nicole Hao and Cathy He

  May 2, 2021                            Updated: May 3, 2021                                                                            

Chinese leader Xi Jinping personally directed the communist regime to focus its efforts to control the global internet, displacing the influential role of the United States, according to internal government documents recently obtained by The Epoch Times.

In a January 2017 speech, Xi said the “power to control the internet” had become the “new focal point of [China’s] national strategic contest,” and singled out the United States as a “rival force” standing in the way of the regime’s ambitions.

The ultimate goal was for the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) to control all content on the global internet, so the regime could wield what Xi described as “discourse power” over communications and discussions on the world stage.

Xi articulated a vision of “using technology to rule the internet” to achieve total control over every part of the online ecosystem—over applications, content, quality, capital, and manpower.

His remarks were made at the fourth leadership meeting of the regime’s top internet regulator, the Central Cyberspace Affairs Commission, in Beijing on Jan. 4, 2017, and detailed in internal documents issued by the Liaoning Provincial Government in China’s northeast.

The statements confirm efforts made by Beijing in the past few years to promote its own authoritarian version of the internet as a model for the world.

In another speech given in April 2016, detailed in an internal document by the Anshan City Government in Liaoning Province, Xi confidently proclaimed that in the “struggle” to control the internet, the CCP has transformed from playing “passive defense” to playing both “attack and defense” at the same time.

Having successfully built the world’s most sprawling and sophisticated online censorship and surveillance apparatus, known as the Great Firewall, the CCP under Xi is turning outwards, championing a Chinese internet whose values run counter to the open model advocated by the West. Rather than prioritizing the free flow of information, the CCP’s system centers on giving the state the ability to censor, spy on, and control internet data.

Countering the US

The Chinese leader acknowledged the regime lagged behind its rival the United States—the dominant player in this field—in key areas such as technology, investments, and talent.

To realize its ambitions, Xi emphasized the need to “manage internet relations with the United States,” while “making preparations for fighting a hard war” with the country in this area.

American companies should be used by the regime to reach its goal, Xi said, without elaborating on how this would be done.

He also directed the regime to increase its cooperation with Europe, developing countries, and member states of Beijing’s “Belt and Road Initiative,” to form a “strategic counterbalance” against the United States.

The Belt and Road Initiative (BRI) is a massive infrastructure investment project launched by Beijing to connect Europe, Asia, Africa, and the Middle East through a network of rail, sea, and road linkages. The plan has been criticized by the United States and other Western countries as a conduit for Beijing to increase its political and commercial interests in member states while saddling developing countries with heavy debt burdens.

The BRI has also pushed countries to sign up to “digital silk road” projects—those involving information and communications technology infrastructure. At least 16 countries have signed memoranda of understanding with the regime to work in this area.

Three-pronged Strategy

Xi ordered the regime to focus on three “critical” areas in its pursuit of controlling the global internet.

First, Beijing needs to be able to “set the rules” governing the international system. Second, it should install CCP surrogates in important positions in global internet organizations. Third, the regime should gain control over the infrastructure that underlies the internet, such as root servers, Xi said.

Domain Name System (DNS) root servers are key to internet communications around the world. It directs users to websites they intend to visit. There are more than 1,300 root servers in the world, about 20 of which are located in China while the United States has about 10 times that, according to the website root-servers.org.

If the Chinese regime were to gain control over more root servers, they could then redirect traffic to wherever they want, Gary Miliefsky, cybersecurity expert and publisher of Cyber Defense Magazine, told The Epoch Times. For example, if a user wants to go to a news article about a topic deemed sensitive by Beijing, then the regime’s DNS server could route the user to a fake page saying the article is no longer online.

“The minute you control the root, you can spoof or fake anything,” he said. “You can control what people see, what people don’t see.”

In recent years, the regime has made headway in advancing Xi’s strategy.

In 2019, Chinese telecom giant Huawei first proposed the idea for an entirely new internet, called New IP (internet protocol), to replace the half-century-old infrastructure underpinning the web. New IP is touted to be faster, more efficient, flexible, and secure than the current internet, and will be built by the Chinese.

While New IP may indeed bring about an improved global network, Miliefsky said, “the price for that is freedom.”

“There’s going to be no free speech. And there’s going to be eavesdropping in real-time, all the time, on everyone,” he said. “Everyone who joins it is going to be eavesdropped by a single government.”

The proposal was made at a September 2019 meeting held at the International Telecommunications Union (ITU), a U.N. agency responsible for setting standards for computing and communications issues that is currently headed by Chinese national Zhao Houlin. New IP is set to be formally debated at the ITU World Telecommunication Standardization Assembly to be held in March 2022.

Miliefsky said the plan is unlikely to gain widespread support among countries, but may be adopted by like-minded authoritarian states such as North Korea, and later by countries that signed onto BRI and are struggling to repay its loans to China.

This would accelerate a bifurcation of the internet, what analysts such as former Google CEO Eric Schmidt have dubbed the “splinternet,” Miliefsky said. “The communist net and the rest of the world.”

The Epoch Times has reached out to Huawei for comment.

Importing Talent

According to the document, Xi ordered the CCP regime to set up “three ecosystems”—technology, industry, and policy—to develop core internet technologies.

Having skilled workers was key to this plan, with Xi directing that talent should be hired from around the globe. This would be done through Chinese companies, Xi prescribed.

He told Chinese firms to “proactively” invite foreign “high-end talents,” and to set up research centers overseas and hire leading ethnic Chinese and foreign specialists to work for them.

Meanwhile, Xi asked the regime to set up a professional training system in China, which can systematically develop a highly skilled workforce in the long run.

He also directed officials in each level of government to guide Chinese companies to develop their business plans to align with the regime’s strategic goals, and encourage capable enterprises to take the lead in developing innovations in core technologies.

Enterprises were to be educated in having “national awareness and safeguarding national interests,” Xi said. Only then should the regime support and encourage their expansion.

Because talent and critical technology are concentrated overseas, the Chinese leader also ordered authorities to support the development of a group of multinational internet companies that can have global influence.

Turning the Internet Red

Xi, in his 2016 speech, described all online content as falling into three categories: “red zone, black zone, and gray zone.”

“Red zone” content refers to discourse aligned with the CCP’s propaganda requirements, while “black zone” material falls foul of these rules. “Gray zone” content lies in the middle.

“We must consolidate and expand the red zone and expand its influence in society,” Xi said in a leaked speech in August 2013. “We must bravely enter into the black zone [and fight hard] to gradually get it to change its color. We must launch large-scale actions targeting the gray zone to accelerate its conversion to the red zone and prevent it from turning into the black zone.”

Inside China, the CCP has a stranglehold on online content and discussion through the Great Firewall, a massive internet censorship apparatus that blockades foreign websites and censors content deemed unacceptable to the party. It also hires a massive online troll army, dubbed the “50-cent army,” to manipulate online discussion. A recent report found that the CCP engages 2 million paid internet commentators and draws on a network of 20 million part-time volunteers to carry out online trolling.

Freedom House, in its 2020 annual internet freedom report, labeled China as the world’s worst abuser of online freedom for the sixth straight year. Chinese citizens have been arrested for using software to circumvent the Great Firewall and punished for posting comments online unfavorable to the Chinese regime. In a now-notorious incident during the early stages of the pandemic, whistleblower doctor Li Wenliang was reprimanded by police for “rumor-mongering” after warning colleagues in a social media chat group about a SARS-like virus in Wuhan City.

In the 2017 remarks, Xi told the regime to develop a larger group of “red” online influencers to shape users’ perceptions of the CCP. He also called for an expansion of the 50 cent army to operate both inside and outside of China’s internet.

Since the pandemic, the CCP has sharply escalated its efforts to influence online opinion overseas. Using large networks of troll accounts on Twitter and Facebook, the regime has been able to propagate and amplify propaganda and disinformation on topics such as the pandemic, racial tensions in the United States, and the regime’s oppression of Uyghur Muslims in Xinjiang.

Follow Cathy on Twitter:

@CathyHe_ET

[rotationalsymmetry]

A brief history of Unitarian Universalism (casual, with swears, have not fact checked as such but I think it’s correct): In New England back before US independence, there was Calvinism -- you know, that predestination thing, you’re already going to go to heaven or hell, but you should be good anyways so people will think you’re going to heaven, or something like that. Then there wasn’t. Then there was Congregationalism. Which was a lot more chill, but still very “fuck Catholicism”. And around this time, deism was on the rise: the idea that maybe God created the universe, then fucked off, and hasn’t been actively involved with anything since. Then, some people who were actually reading the Bible, because you can’t look down on Catholicism unless you actually read the Bible, were like... wait, maybe Jesus isn’t all that. You know -- the Savior, the Son of God, one third of the Trinity, all that. Maybe he was just, like... a prophet, or some guy who said some interesting things. A teacher. And other congregationalists were like: uh, what, no, Jesus has to be all that. If you don’t think Jesus is all that, how can you even call yourself a Christian? And they decided they couldn’t really be around each other any more. So the first group, which was mostly in Boston, started calling themselves Unitarians (because they rejected the doctrine of the Trinity and instead believed in a one part God), and incidentally at some point also stopped calling themselves Christians because the other guys had a point, and the others called themselves the United Church of Christ (UCC.) Emerson and Thorough -- sorry, Thoreau -- were both Unitarians, as were John Adams, John Quincy Adams, and pretty much everyone else from Boston in early US history. (We like to claim Jefferson, because his beliefs were kindasorta similar to Unitarian beliefs at the time, but as I understand it he was never actually part of a Unitarian congregation.) (Btw: if you’re lgbtq+ and Christian, they’re a pretty friendly denomination. If you’re lgbtq+ and Christian and you think the UCC is too liberal (in the religious sense) or you want a majority-lgbtq+ congregation, consider MCC, which is otherwise unconnected to all this. If you’re not Christian and are lgbtq+ -- atheist/agnostic, or maybe something else if you’re down with worshipping with people that aren’t specifically your thing -- Unitarian Universalism tends to be pretty good. As in: we have a bunch of gay/lesbian ministers and other religious leaders, and a few transgender ones. (Knowledge of less mainstream lgbtq+ identities can vary a lot between congregations and generations -- the younger generations tend to be more aware than the gen x’ers.) I’ve been involved with Church of the Larger Fellowship for most of the past year, which did zoom worship before it got cool and serves people around the world, and people like me who live a mile from a UU brick and mortar congregation but still can’t get their disabled ass over there anyways. Anyways, CLF has more POC on the worship team than most UU congregations (the denomination does tend to run pretty white), is very social justice oriented even by UU standards, and is somewhat more cool about general weirdness than most congregations, which again for UU congregations is saying something.) Then, at some point (sadly, I’m significantly more familiar with the history of the first U than the second) there was this other protestant denomination in the South (as in, the US South) where people decided that God was too nice to send people to hell for all eternity, so they started calling themselves the Universalists, as in Universal Salvation. All dogs go to heaven. Well, time passed, each denomination evolved in its own way. (In particular, Unitarianism caught humanism pretty hard -- the joke was the Unitarians believe in one God at most.) In the -- ok, I’ll look this one up -- in 1961, there was a big old merger, creating Unitarian Universalism, and in the process, everyone got together and was all...wait, so what are our official beliefs about God and stuff? Should we even have official beliefs about God? Maybe we can unify around some ideas around how people should treat each other instead. So they did: they drafted a set of Principles (broad-strokes guidelines on how people should act -- peace is good, truth is good, people have value, stuff like that) and a set of Sources (where UU’s get their ideas about God and morality and so on from, starting with direct experience) and left everything else up to the individual. And then a little while later, the tree-huggers got a seventh Principle and a sixth Source added in -- respect for the environment and Earth-centered religions, respectively -- so now the joke is that UU’s believe in one God, more or less. Currently there’s a movement on to add an 8th Principal that explicitly names racial equality and fighting oppression as something we value, since while the current Principles mention justice and equality, they don’t specifically name race, and the people of color who have stuck with the predominantly white denomination figure Unitarian Universalism can and should be doing better on that front. Unitarian Universalism runs religiously liberal (ie, decentralized, individualistic, non-authoritarian, non-dogmatic, inclined to believe science over the Bible) and politically progressive. Unitarian Universalist congregations tend to be very politically active and concerned with social justice, mostly in a well-educated middle class kind of way: committees, Robert’s Rules of Order, donating to non-profits, Get Out the Vote, inviting in speakers and asking “questions” that aren’t really questions, forming partnerships with other congregations and community organizations, etc. Many UU congregations have put a Black Lives Matter sign out (and when necessary keep putting it out when it gets torn down or vandalized), shown up for the protests, opposed the weird immigration BS that’s been going on in the US recently, etc. In addition to more charity style work, like food pantries and homeless shelters.

Point is: yeah it’s got flaws (don’t even get me started on Unitarian Universalism’s flaws) but if you’re a social justice person and want to meet other social justice people who are doing things, Unitarian Universalism can be a good place to look for that. You get more done in groups.

You’re less likely to burn out, too. With marginalization, it’s complicated, right? Again, for LGBTQ+ people, it’s going to be better than most religious organizations. For people a little bit on the autism spectrum, you probably won’t be the only one. (If you’re unmistakeably autistic, people might be weird/ableist; it might depend on the congregation.) If you’re from a working class background or are currently kinda broke, you might run into some frustrations or feel like you don’t fit in; if you’re a poc or if you’re disabled (or your kid is) or you want a lot of personal support, you might struggle more -- this really might vary a lot, but at least the congregations I’m used to tend to assume congregants can mostly stand on their own feet, metaphorically speaking, and have some extra time/money/skills/whatever that can be directed out into the wider world. It can be a good place for pagans and Buddhists and other people who don’t want a church but are having trouble finding a church-like religious community where you can hang out with people on the same spiritual path. (Uh, for a while UU congregations were emphatically not churches and some officially still aren’t; others gave up and were all “eh, it looks like a church, whatever, we’re just a weird church.) Some congregations are more atheist-dominated than others -- many avoid Jesus language most of the time, some avoid God language most of the time (UU’s who believe in God tend to believe in God in a relatively abstract/metaphorical way), some I hear are pagan-heavy, others do use Christian language a lot more. In all honesty you don’t have to go to Sunday worship if you don’t want to, and really a lot of UU’s don’t; if you want to be heavily involved in the congregation but don’t want to go to Sunday worship and don’t want to deal with pressure to, one way out is to teach RE (religious education -- basically “Sunday school”) the RE curricula are amazing, just absolutely astounding, and if you’re teaching it you get a ton of leeway with adjusting anything you don’t like. (Which could happen -- a lot of this stuff was developed before the idea that cultural appropriation is a big problem became mainstream in social justice circles.) What adult worship is like has basically zero correlation (perhaps negative correlation) to what RE is like. (Which sucks for young adults coming of age in a UU congregation, like I said don’t get me started on UU’s flaws.) Finally: for people who care about sex positivity and sex ed, Unitarian Universalists (in partnership with UCC) developed Our Whole Lives, a sex ed curriculum that, well, it’s not abstinence based education. You wouldn’t expect sex ed coming from a religious org to be better than the sex ed in schools, would you? And yet. Comprehensive sex ed that acknowledges gay bi and trans people and that disabled people have sex too and teaches about birth control and masturbation and abuse and consent and boundaries and bullying and internet safety and abortion. It’s good stuff. The course aimed at teens is most popular of course, but there’s actually (age-appropriate) OWL curricula for all stages of life: young kids, adults, older adults, everyone. And it’s versatile enough to be taught in secular contexts (after school programs etc). Given the direction that unfortunately a lot of school districts in the US have been going in in terms of sex ed, it’s a really important program.

[loopy777]

RE: WIPs game: do I even want to know what Dicebenders is is it another scam how many times are the Gaang gonna get arrested for scamming

No, this time it's me scamming people. XD The dice in question are the RPG Dungeons & Dragons kind.

For a while I was doing a screencap webcomic in the style of "DM of the Rings" and "Darths & Droids" with another creative fan named Captain Boomerang. I was the scriptwriter and selected the screenshots for each panel, and Capt-BA would assemble the comics and improve my scripts (a process that did frustrate me a little, as I felt locked out of the revision process, but I did like the results. I just felt like I wasn't holding up my end of the partnership a bit). I wrote a story bible explaining the characters and storytelling rules, planned out the adaptation of the entire AtLA premiere, and had less detailed plans for the rest of the series, but we only got 6 comics in before Capt-BA went on a trip and never returned to the internet. I did manage to re-establish contact with her long enough to get permission to continue the comic, but the problem is that I have no image-editing skills whatsoever.

If I could find comic-making software that I know would do what I want and be easy to use, I wouldn't mind dropping some money on it, but everything I've looked at is trying to do lots of things I don't need. I only want a way to import existing pictures into comic grids, and then easily add dialogue bubbles. That's it. But the stuff I've found is more about image-editing than comic assembly, and it takes me an hour to put together a dialogue bubble that looks good. So I have 3 scripts that were never produced, which along with the planning docs are what's in that WIP folder, and I don't ever see myself going beyond that.

Besides, someone else already managed to complete something like this, and while I'm not a fan, I don't need to be. At this point, Dicebenders is dead. I'm glad I tried it, and it's a shame it didn't work out, but I'm happy with the other projects I've done instead.

I am squatting on an empty Tumblr for it, though.

Anyway, to share something new, here's the first section of the Story Bible I wrote to make sure Capt-BA and I were on the same page in terms of characterization. The rest of the bible details the plotlines for full series.

AVATAR: THE LAST DICEBENDER

BIBLE

Premise- A small group of players attempt to run a fantasy martial arts RPG that winds up essentially becoming the Avatar saga, or something very close. The main point of the series is comedy, based mostly on ridiculous links between Avatar and RPG's. Sometimes the humor will be in the vast difference between what happens in the comic, and what happens in the cartoon with the same screenshots. Other times, the funny will come from the unexpected ways they converge.

SPIRITUAL PREDECESSORS

DM of the Rings- The original, and my personal favorite. It's a good showcase of how to run a single quest together, while using narrative jumps to skip to the good bits.

Darths & Droids- A similar project, this stands out from its predecessor in two main ways. The players and GM are more friendly with each other, and are more or less having fun with each other. There is also a running, coherent storyline in both the game and in the lives of the players.

Benders & Brawlers- This is actually an existing attempt to do Darths & Droids with Avatar. This is helpful as an example of what we DON'T want to do, retell the Avatar story in a completely straightforward manner, with RPG players behind the characters.

CHARACTERS

None of the characters will be given real names. The players shall always be referred to by their character names, although this can be done in a teasing, ironic manner. When the characters are speaking, their dialogue bubble must always be attached to an image of the character.

The Gamemaster- The GM is a female in her early teens. She is a geek, and a bit of a social outcast for it. Nevertheless, she's trying to make that work for her, although she's not quite mature enough to make it happen yet. She has just discovered RPG's, and in her enthusiasm has gone all out in starting her own campaign. The only problem is that she doesn't know how to recruit players, so she ropes her best friend and little brother into playing with her. This is the GM's first campaign, so she'll a little in over her head. She knows the mechanics of play, and what she's supposed to be doing as GM, but doesn't have the fine skill in crafting an engaging RPG experience. Still, she wants to do her best, is willing to learn, and has a positive attitude about the whole thing. The GM has a strong crush on the Sokka player, but the only way she can express it is by having all the female NPC's flirt with the Sokka character.

Katara- Female in early teens, and the GM's best friend. Katara's player was friends with the GM from when they were both in grammar school, so while they have grown up into wildly different personality types, they are fully loyal to each other. Katara is popular, and outgoing, and doesn't care or know about geek stuff at all. She's only playing the game because the GM begged her to. At first, Katara is clueless about RPG's, and frequently questions or ridicules the mechanics of the game. She never quite gets into the idea of role-playing, but quickly takes to the idea of meta-gaming. She'll have her character act like a righteous do-gooder, because completing missions and fighting bad guys earns XP. She hoards items that will boost her stats. She'll advocate abandoning a mission/plot if it doesn't pay out enough rewards. Katara's player also can tend towards trying to Mary Sue her character, but this is inconsistent and usually shot down by everyone else.

Aang- Male in junior high, and the GM's little brother. He plays simply because his sister has cajoled him into it, and there are hints that he's getting some kind of reward or payment for it. He abuses his position by forcing the GM to give him what he wants in the game, even if it breaks the rules- access to the restricted Airbender class, the ability to bend all four elements, overloaded stats, an Avatar State that protects him from dying, a magic super flying cow ride, etc. However, it's important to note that Aang's player isn't a jerk. He's just immature, and like all kids, just always goes for what he wants via the easiest path, and doesn't realize that he may be causing trouble or hurting feelings. He's enthusiastic about trying out this RPG thing, but he has trouble coming up with any action beyond attacking or retreating. He's also hyper aware that the GM and Katara are girls. He is too old for cootie concerns, but thinks that girls are fundamentally different creatures with their own incomprehensible concerns. Having a big sister, he doesn't find this a big deal, just part of life. Aang's player is too young to be a geek. He likes cartoons and sports and fantasy and school-dramas. He also tends to follow whatever his sister likes.

Sokka- Male in late teens. This guy is your quintessential RPG player. He has is own top-quality dice, he's played campaigns and systems of all kinds, and knows the tropes of the hobby cold. He's a huge geek for all things geeky, but roleplay is easily his favorite. He's a social outcast, but he's made friends among his fellow geeks, and thinks life is just fine. Sokka's player joins when he meets the GM at the comic/games shop they both frequent. The GM was buying some sourcebooks and material to support the fantasy martial arts game she's running, and Sokka noticed, asked about it, liked what he heard, and got permission to join the game. What Sokka doesn't realize, because he is a geek and neither has experience with it or realizes it's even possible, is that the GM is sweet on him. This manifests in the character Sokka's canon luck with the ladies, only kicked up a notch. *Every single* female NPC flirts with him, whether it's appropriate or not. Sometimes player Sokka notices and tries to roleplay it, and sometimes he's just plain confused. Sokka has a few quirks. His best set of dice are his Lucky Red Dice, which always roll high when he needs it, but have been tested and proven to be fair dice. He also mandates that every character he plays use a boomerang; he was turned into a geek by the first video game he ever played, a Legend of Zelda title, and his favorite weapon from those games are the boomerang. Each of his characters has a unique, named boomerang.

Zuko- The GM's favorite NPC. She created him to be a compelling, dramatic character, with a complicated back story, moral struggles, badass loner personality, angst about his existence, a darkly noble quality, and a cool scar. The GM intended Katara to get to know Zuko, for her to try to woo him away from the side of evil, and perhaps to even have a romance with him. The PC's, however, couldn't care less about him. To them, he's just another mini-boss, and the fact that most of his character development is happening "off screen" means they don't realize that he's recruitable. A frequent gag is Zuko delivering a stirring monologue while no one pays attention.

Iroh- Background NPC. The GM tries to use him to give (ignored) hints to the players.

Toph- (tentative) A male munchkin gamer who picked a long list of weaknesses in order to get superbending. Toph's player is a friend of Sokka's player, brought in after an "incident" with his old group, and causes some initial resentment in the group when tries to show the n00bs how its done. Cowing Toph's player is a major victory for the GM.

Momo- NPC, but maybe make him a talking sidekick who gives the players hints when the GM is really exasperated?

Azula- the GM's best favorite villain. Azula is the GM unleashed, letting her take out frustrations on the players in both combat and harsh taunting. Eventually the GM comes to like the character so much, she retcons mental health issues into the character's backstory, and has her pet NPC, Zuko, spare her.

[janiedean]

Hi hello! So happy to be able to offer you something 😊

Redfish, Blame it on the love of Rock-'n'-roll

*RUBS HANDS* THANK YOU VERY VERY MUCH *cracks knuckles*

[leave me bon jovi inspired prompts!]

blame it on the love of rock n’ roll (jonc/brynden, past one sided jonc/rhaegar, jaime, oberyn, jon s.;, pg13)

“He can’t have - he can’t just have done that,” Jaime Lannister says for the umpteenth time in the last thirty minutes, and - in any other case, Jon would have told him yes, I know, I’m entirely fucking aware, I have the offspring to show for it currently sleeping in my spare room right behind us, but all things considered... he can’t blame him. He really can’t.

“Well,” Oberyn says, shrugging, sitting across Jon’s sofa in a way that honestly should be reserved for R-rated movies, but he’ll leave it at that, it’s too hot and he’s too tired to tell him to do any different, “he has, and while I suppose that for him this entire exercise was a past time, but I think it doesn’t solve our main problem here, which is that next week we should audition for a record deal, and we can’t exactly do it without the lead singer, so how does anyone here suggest to proceed? Because as resourceful as I usually am, I have zilch here, and we’re never going to find anyone who’s going to learn all the songs in a week.”

Jon wants to scream.

Fact is: when he and Rhaegar and Oberyn stared playing together in Oberyn’s father’s basement in high school, it was for shits and giggles and because they wanted to play Nirvana covers and impress girls, or better, Rhaegar wanted to impress girls, he wanted to impress Rhaegar (and maybe guys, but mainly Rhaegar) and Oberyn wanted to impress everyone regardless of gender, but then... they had fun, and it stuck, and they started actually writing their own songs, and then Rhaegar said that he was tired of playing guitar if he had to concentrate on singing and while they were in uni they searched for a guitarist, and -

Well, Jaime Lannister had showed up, and he had been a tad younger than them and obviously had a lot of family trauma to share looking at his lyrics, but he was fucking good, and so they took him, and -

And after some five years of grueling sets in pubs they did manage to land a meeting with this guy Mance Ryder from an indie label who apparently liked them very much, and it would be a damned record deal, and that’s when Rhaegar decides that he’s going to... elope with his girlfriend and leave their six-month old with Jon himself and they’re going to find themselves in India or whatever and that’s not going into the fact that the six-month old was born after a bad split from Oberyn’s sister and it’s a miracle Oberyn hadn’t murdered him in the spirit of friendship and being in the goddamned same band.

Fucking hell.

And now both Lannister and Oberyn are looking at him because they’re apparently in the only band in existence where the decision-maker is the fucking bassist, that’d be him.

Fucking hell.

“Okay,” he says, “well. No, we can’t find another singer, not at short notice. Especially since they didn’t say what songs they want to hear so what if they just ask out of the blue, but.” He closes his eyes, tries to think about it. There has to be a way to get out of this mess, and certainly he isn’t good enough of a singer to take Rhaegar’s place -

Wait a fucking second.

“Okay,” he says, “Jaime.”

“... Yes?”

“From this moment on you’re on vocals.”

“What the hell? Jon, I’m -”

“You wrote more than half of the lyrics, you know them and you can sing worth a damn, which is way more than me and him can say for ourselves, and while finding a new singer is impossible, a new guitarist - well, someone good can learn most of the songs and improvise in case. Sure as fuck it’s less of a long shot.”

“But -”

“But nothing, Jaime. I know you liked it better if someone else sang about how shitty your sister is, but if we want this deal it’s either you or no one else. And now - now let’s just get online and send the word out. It’s Wednesday, we have to audition Friday next week, we can fucking hope it’s long enough for someone to show up.”

Two hours later, he’s sent Oberyn and Jaime off with a bunch of flyers and he has put online ads too - he also knows that it’s highly fucking unlikely that a skilled guitarist enough to improvise like that will walk into his house in the fucking middle of July being a good fit. Sure, there’s the possible record deal thing up that might sweeten the pot, but.

But he’s nowhere near sure that it’d be enough.

Still.

They’ll see. And Oberyn and Jaime better be there every single afternoon until Friday next week.

--

The next Wednesday, the heat is unbearable, his namesake is crying desperately because it’s too hot, Jaime and Oberyn are failing to calm him and Jon has just sent away the umpteenth college kid who tried to audition and was a shit fit and just cared for the record deal.

“We’re fucked, aren’t we,” Oberyn says, matter of fact, as Jaime finally manages to get the younger Jon to calm down.

Considering that Rhaegar hasn’t answered a single message -

Fuck, Jon had been trying to get over him for ages.

He’s sure this might be what actually makes sure he does.

“Probably,” Jon says, “unless some miracle happens right the fuck now, but -”

His phone starts ringing.

It’s an unknown number.

Jon takes it.

“Yes?” He asks, tentatively.

“Jon Connington?” A deep male voice asks, slightly gruff, but Jon can’t help thinking it’s nice. It has a lovely warm baritone to it, for sure.

“That’d be me.”

“My name is Brynden Tully. I’m calling for the Kingsguard audition.”

Jon doesn’t want to say that this guy sounds competent, but.

But.

“If you haven’t filled that position already, of course.”

“Oh, no. Not at all. You’re welcome to come even now - the place isn’t ideal, but... we don’t have the studio, this week.”

“Not a problem at all. Should I come to the address that was on the ad?”

“Yes,” Jon says, “it’s - it’s my house. We’ll meet you outside, I have all the gear in the garage.”

“Very well. I could be there in half an hour - or two, if I have to go back home and get my own guitar -”

“No,” Jon says, “it’s all right, I have more than one that you can use. Thank you, I -”

“You haven’t tried me yet,” the man replies, and he sounds like he’s smiling, and the call closes.

“Well,” he says, “let’s get to the garage and let’s hope this one guy is the miracle.”

“Did it sound like he could be?” Oberyn asks while Jaime says he’ll go get something to put the poor kid in while he has to listen to them, at least Rhaegar left him with the fucking supplies to care for him.

“He sounded more competent than any of the other guys who showed up.” The whole fifteen of them, but never mind that.

Jon walks down to the garage, already sweating the moment he sets foot out of the house. Fucking hell. This is the hottest summer he can remember in years, he just hopes he doesn’t end up fainting while they rehearse. Now that wouldn’t convince anyone to join his band, right?

--

They manage to get settled fairly soon - sure, Oberyn hasn’t played with that drum kit in years and Jaime is grumbling that not playing will be fucking weird, and the younger Jon at least doesn’t seem too bothered by their tuning, and then -

“I imagine these are the Kingsguard’s quarters?”

Jon raises his head from his bass, staring at the man who just came inside the garage, and -

Well, fuck.

Having been into Rhaegar for all of his life, he has always found people older than him hot on a general notion, but he never looked into it. But this guy - fuck. He has to have at least fifteen years on him, never mind Lannister, that would make it at least twenty, but he’s hot, with auburn hair with just the slightest hint of silver here and there, a short beard and bright blue eyes on a face with tanned skin and a few lines here and there. He’s also wearing jeans, dark boots and a fucking black leather jacket in the middle of this heat, and how does anyone do that without fainting, but - but honestly, Jon kind of never was so instantly attracted to anyone in his entire life bar Rhaegar, and - yeah.

Let’s not just discuss that now.

“Yes,” he says. “Brynden Tully, right?”

“In the flesh. I see that you are... somehow in trouble?”

“What gave that out?” Jaime smirks. “The garage, the fact that we had a week to audition before a record deal or that we’re looking after a kid that doesn’t belong to either of us?”

“All of that, honestly,” Brynden replies, “but the kid would be the most glaring one. The rest... happens. Also, the ad said you looked for a guitarist and if someone knows anything about the scene, I’d have thought golden boy here had quit.”

Jon decides that it’s the case to be upfront.

 “Yeah, well.” He sighs. “The kid belongs to our former singer. Who has eloped with his girlfriend in the middle of the night last week because of family disagreements and shit and he left us like this. Fact is, auditioning a singer is a whole goddamned mess, and golden boy there writes most of the lyrics anyway and can carry a tune, so I have not democratically decided to put him on that and audition for the guitarist instead.”

“Thanks for recognizing it was not democratic,” Jaime mutters.

“Well, I’d have voted with him,” Oberyn replies, rolling a drumstick in his hand.

“So,” Jon sighs, “we actually need the guitarist instead. I understand that learning an entire repertoire in a day if you’re a fit might be a problem, but -”

“I think that shouldn’t be a problem.”

“Wait, how?”

The man smiles ever so slightly. “First thing, I didn’t read that ad from the internet. I learned about this because my niece is engaged to your singer’s girlfriend’s brother and she called me up telling me about it.”

“Wait, you’re - oh, shit, Catelyn Tully, I didn’t even -”

“So,” Brynden smirks wider, “my niece, who’s known me for years, knows that the only reason I never was in a band that actually got a record deal was that I got kicked out of the house back in the day because the relatives didn’t like my sentimental preferences.” A wink. Oh. “And thing is, I’m good. Improvising type good. But at that point I couldn’t survive on it and so I found a more boring job, but I never stopped playing and I go to gigs and I know the circuit and I actually did listen to most of your songs, that demo you were selling last year was really good. So... I actually do know most of them. And I made enough money now to afford actually playing full time.”

“Then,” Jon says, not believing his luck, “I think we should just try you already. Just pick any guitar from the stands. We can do one of our usual covers to start with and then a few of ours.”

“Sounds good. I’ll go serve myself, then.”

He goes to where Jon keeps the guitar stands, chooses a red Stratocaster and goes to join them while Jaime seems to try and find a decent position, for someone that outwardly charming you’d think he would want to be a lead singer, and yet.

Never mind.

Please let him be the right one, Jon thinks, and if maybe he wasn’t just thinking about it in band terms, well, no one has to know.

--

“You’re hired,” he says to Brynden five songs later. “And you,” he tells Jaime, “you can sing, just - please try to not be awkward as hell tomorrow. You can do it, I swear.”

“That’s what you say,” Jaime scoffs, “but yeah. What - you’re good. Enough that I almost don’t hate the idea of not playing those solos anymore.”

“I say that if Rhaegar ever wants to come back we tell him to fuck off,” Oberyn proclaims. “And I’d say welcome to the club. If we fail the audition please don’t leave.”

Brynden laughs, putting the guitar away. “Oh, I had missed doing this regularly. Don’t think I won’t.”

“Well,” Jaime says, “it’s late and I need to - psych myself up. I’ll - I’ll go get a drink. And be in touch.”

He stalks out of the garage, looking like he’ll faint.

“I’ll go after him,” Oberyn says. “Don’t worry, I’ll get him to relax one way or the other.”

“You know he’s straight!” Jon calls after him, but they both already disappeared beyond his driveway.

Whatever. Maybe Oberyn is gonna find him a decent lay. Anything as long as he projects some confidence the day after tomorrow.

“You know,” Brynden says, “I was going to ask if you wanted to come out for a drink to celebrate, but I understand that if you have to mind the kid -”

Jon stops dead in his tracks, turning to look up at Brynden, who - who is half-grinning at him in the way people do when asking to buy someone a drink because they’re interested and fuck Jon really wants to kiss him, and he has a feeling he’s going to hang around in the band a lot, and -

“Tell you what,” he says, “I do, but I also have alcohol upstairs. Fancy it if I make you that drink?”

“Oh,” Brynden says, “excellent compromise, I say. Lead on.”

He smiles.

Jon smiles back.

Ten years later

“You’re not saying that the first time you two smooched I was watching,” Jon Stark groans from his seat in Jaime’s cramped living room where they’re celebrating having come back from their last UK tour during which Brynden not-so-incidentally asked Jon if he would want to make things official in the backstage after the last show, a question to Jon enthusiastically answered yes just before frenching him in front of each single roadie still moving around the place.

“No,” Brynden says, “you were actually dead to the world after having cried your eyes out for one hour, and we didn’t do anything else, but you were in the same room.”

“Gross,” the kid snorts, and Jon is just thankful that he eventually ended up with Ned and Cat because he certainly wasn’t going to raise a kid properly and that he’s not visibly traumatized by how shitty his biological parents have been to him. Never mind that Rhaegar never apologized for bailing but eventually said well you sound a lot better like this, and - Jon will always love him in a way, but he was truly over him romantically at that point.

“I’d say,” Jon says, “that you should be honored that you were not-watching-but-there the day I smooched the love of my life, but what have you.”

“Oh,” Jaime snorts, “you are writing the love ballads now.”

“Forget it,” Jon replies, “wouldn’t Brienne be sad about it?”

“Please,” the girl in question says from the kitchen where she forbade any of them to enter while she got dinner ready, all of you except Oberyn can’t cook for shit, I’m not risking it, “I think you all can stand some variety from me. And congratulations.”

"Gross,” the other Jon replies, and - he lets that go, he’s ten, everything in that sense is probably gross to him, and then rough, calloused fingers hold his and -

“The love of my life now? Maybe you should write me a ballad.”

“Hm,” Jon replies, “maybe I will, but just if you do the same. Maybe Lannister deserves a break from songwriting.”

“Think I can handle it,” Brynden says, and so what if he can hear Jaime in the background telling them that if they don’t go down at it too hard they can use their bed while they kiss?

Who cares.

Maybe they’ll even take him up on the offer. What he knows is that he can’t wait to make things official and to write that damned ballad.

Oh, yes, he thinks, life is good, and then he kisses Brynden harder and tunes out anything else going on in the room.

End.

[mulletcal]

scrabble - ashton irwin blurb.

a/n: would you believe me if i told you i fucked up 4 different times trying to post this. WELL, anyways, here’s a pt 2 to this post and i still mildly blame @sexgodashton​ for it.

word count: ~2.2k (oops)

warnings: none

-----

Since that day where Ashton had realized that his Words with Friends stranger was also his neighbour, his mood surrounding this lockdown brightened significantly.  His niece was good at keeping his spirits up, but it was nice to have someone around that he could talk to as a fellow adult.

More often than not, you would show up with a baked good that you had googled how to make, dropping it off at Ashton’s doorstep before waiting at the end of the driveway to make sure either him or his niece picked it up.  Ashton would return the favour in his own small ways, letting you know what they were cooking that night, asking if he should make extras.  You both had taken to putting lawn chairs at the end of your driveways, maintaining the appropriate distance, but balancing your plates on your laps as you all enjoyed a meal together.

Getting to know Ashton, it grew increasingly difficult to push down your feelings for him.  He was intelligent, handsome, goofy, and he clearly cared for his niece, which also warmed your heart.  Even though anytime Ashton would say something, she’d give him a certain look that had him turning as red as a tomato; which didn’t help you find him any less endearing.

Your Words with Friends games continued, you kicking his ass each and every time - well, except for the one time you let him win, even if he vehemently denies that.  You had suggested that when the lockdown was lifted, he should come over some time and play a game of Scrabble with you, to see if somehow being in person made it any different.  It could be to his benefit, of course, because being that close to those hazel eyes would distract you.

On Ashton’s end, the feelings were very much the same.  He couldn’t stop thinking of you, and how he wished to be closer.  Ashton had never started a friendship, let alone a relationship where he wasn’t able to touch the person he was talking to - whether it be a handshake or a hug.  The most he could do was crack jokes from more than 6 feet away, grinning as you rolled your eyes at another stupid pun.

Ashton realized he had run out of fresh produce once again, but this time before placing his order he sent you a message to ask if you needed anything.  If only you could write back asking if he was something that was available - but you had nowhere near enough confidence for that, so you just replied that you didn’t, but thanking him.  Ashton wanted to use it as an excuse to see you more than just around dinner, but he could never let you know that.

A few weeks later, you heard on the news that the lockdown - as long as everything continued on the decline it had been on - would end next week, with some limitations so people aren’t going too wild too soon; but this meant something huge: you could actually be closer to Ashton.

Figuring a call would be more satisfying than a text, you pressed ‘Call’, vaguely thinking about when you both first exchanged numbers in the first place.  He had forgotten to look at the app all day, busy with Instagram Live interviews, but he felt so guilty and insisted you exchange numbers so you could keep the casual conversation going.

“You there?”  Ashton asked, bringing you out of your memory.

“Shit, sorry! Was just calling to tell you that it looks like our Scrabble game is gonna be happening sooner rather than later,” You speak with a grin that’s probably evident in your tone of voice on the other line.

“Wait really? I haven’t checked the news at all today.  I’m assuming none of the guys have either, we have a music video going up in about ten minutes.”

Oh, right.  You had forgotten he was in a band, his constant drum playing wasn’t just to make noise - he actually did it for a living. “Which music video is it again?” You ask, trying to think of the title before he could speak. 

“Wildflower.  You gonna watch it?” 

“Yeah, of course! I need to support the boomer uncle in the band,” You could hear him scoff on the other end, causing you to let out a small laugh.

“Yeah, I see how it is. Just cause I play the internet’s version of Scrabble makes me a boomer.  Puts you right there with me, though,” He stated, and it wasn’t a lie, but you enjoyed making fun of his age anyways. “I’ll see you later though, the guys wanna have a group FaceTime to watch the video together.  Makin’ pasta tonight, want some?”

“Not tonight, I’m all pasta’d out.  But I’ll meet you guys there, just text me when you start dinner, yeah?”

“Sounds good. Bye!” You could hear an enthusiastic ‘bye’ in the background that made you smile, setting down your phone and looking up ‘Wildflower’ so you could be apart of the video’s premier.

You were most definitely not expecting what you saw while the video played - Ashton had told you, from what you remembered anyways, that they had filmed all their parts separately in front of a green screen in their house.  You didn’t know that you would get so much of Ashton’s personality through the video though, and you couldn’t wipe the grin off your lips the entire time.

Once the video ended, you picked up your phone to send him a quick text message to say you enjoyed the video, and it didn’t take long for him to reply with his gratitude towards you.

Dinner that night had a different air to it, you couldn’t tell if you were all just excited to not be stuck in the house anymore, or sad - or, in your case, if you were flustered because Ashton was wearing the same shirt he had chosen to wear in the video.

This week was going to go by incredibly slow.

**

As you predicted, the days leading up to the lockdown being lifted dragged on - every hour feeling like another day, but you were aware that it was mostly due to freedom, or your feeling of freedom, was so close.

Ashton knew that the guys would all want to see each other right away, and he had agreed on that front - FaceTime calls just weren’t doing it for him anymore.  He was so close to being able to hang out in Calum’s backyard again, laying in the sun and making jokes with his best friend.  All of them had agreed on one thing though - rather than all get together on their first day out where none of them really had much in their house; the first day would be spent gathering supplies for a “family dinner” on the second day.

This also meant that his first night was free.  Ashton knew he didn’t need to worry about his niece, especially since it was only right next door, and he would have the security system in place to be alerted of any suspicious activities.  He had to see you and deliver on the promised Scrabble game; and he needed to test the waters to see how you felt towards him as well.

When the fateful day came, Ashton was practically buzzing with excitement.  He headed to the grocery store, wanting to pick up essentials for the dish he would bring to Michael’s, but also he wanted to attempt to recreate the cookies you made for him as a welcoming gift - though he was sure his baking skills couldn’t hold a candle to yours.

Having gathered all the ingredients, he headed back home to try and bake.  Ashton was excited when you texted him, asking if you guys were still on for tonight.

[2:04 pm]: You bet your gluteus on it.

He could tell you were laughing on the other end, due to the amount of times the three dots had appeared and disappeared, when his phone finally vibrated in response.

[2:05 pm]: Stop trying to make gluteus happen, it’s not going to happen.  Also that’s only roughly 8 points, so nice try.

Ashton couldn’t contain his fit of giggles - his excitement bubbling out of him again, grinning at his niece who walked into the kitchen.

“Someone’s excited to see his crush today,” She mused, cocking an eyebrow at him.

“Not a crush, just excited to be within six feet of someone who I’m not related to,” Ashton retorted, both of them sticking their tongue out at the other.

“Tell me why I see ingredients to make those cookies, then?”

“Can’t a man just buy apples and cinnamon, and all the other ingredients to make cookies without being judged?” Ashton pouted in a feudal attempt to win this debate, but he knew it was pointless to argue with a 14-year-old.  “Wanna help? I’ll let you eat some cookie dough.”

Very quickly she agreed, and they set about making the cookies for you. 

While on your end, you were doing something similar for him; you had gone out to buy ingredients to make a cake, that you were going to decorate to say “Happy End of Lockdown”.  You weren’t sure if you were taking it too far, but you were genuinely excited to see his reaction when he read it.

You had just finished the final touches on the cake when the doorbell rang.  Furrowing your brows, you glanced at the time, realizing much more time had passed than you had thought.  Suddenly you were nervous again, not having time to fix your appearance, or fix up around your house for that matter.  Your phone on the kitchen island buzzed, and you quickly picked it up to make sure it wasn’t anything super important - only to find a text from Ashton.

[7:56 pm]: Can you hurry up? We’re free, and I promise I won’t spit on you.

If it were any other person in your life, you would have replied with something along the lines of, “Too bad, I’m kinda into that.” But you couldn’t be that way with Ashton - you felt as though you needed to restrict that part, or risk losing Ashton in your life all together because you weirded him out.

Tugging the door open, you mustered up the best grin you could at the man who now stood before you, “Hey stranger,” you spoke, stepping aside so he could come in.

“Hey yourself.  Even though you left me out in the dust, I brought these cookies for you, in hopes you won’t do it again.”  Ashton offered up the plate of cookies, and you recognized the scent that had wafted from them almost immediately. 

“You made those cookies?” You asked softly, your heart completely melting at the sentiment. Glancing up at him, you noticed he was watching you, your eyes meeting his hazel ones, so you cleared your throat.  “You gonna come in, or you gonna wait to be invited in like the boomer you are?” You left him there, mouth hanging open at your words as you brought the cookies into the kitchen.

“For the last time, m’not a fuckin’ boomer.  I was born in ‘94!”

Spinning back around, you nearly collided with his chest, rather instead backing up to pat it while looking up at him, “Okay Boomer.”

After that moment, your nerves disappeared completely.  Flour was in your hair, but the two of you didn’t care; much preferring to laugh over your cups of tea and the treats you had both made.

When it came time to play Scrabble, you were excited to see how he’d live up to his online persona from Words with Friends, or if instead he’d just mutter curse words when you put down a word that was worth triple.  It was fairly easy to stay focused, your eyes trained on the letters before you, instead of the raven haired man whose eyes were boring into the side of your head after each word he put down.

You hadn’t realized why until you looked up from your tiles to the board, trying to place your next word to finally beat him.  There was a word spelt out at the top of the board, one that hadn’t been there previously - the word was ‘date’, but beside it there was a small piece of paper with a question mark on it, and in the corner where the letter value would be was drawn the tiniest heart you’d ever seen.

“Did you make that heart yourself?” You asked, a grin spreading across your lips, finally looking up at the man.

There was a long pause before he whispered, “Yes,” almost sheepishly, his cheeks turning pink.

“You wanna go on a date with me?”

The response was quicker this time, a more confident, “Yes.”

Looking from him to the tiles, you reached across to grab the letters to spell ‘Kiss Me’, stealing his question mark to add to the end of it.

Ashton read it, looking back towards you with a smirk, “You know that’s cheating right?”

“Are you gonna kiss me or not?”

tag list:   @haikucal​ @talkfastromance4​ @softbabiestan​ @boyfriend-cal​ @calum-uncrowned​ @wildflowerirwin​ @irwindoll​ @gosh-im-short​ @atlcalm​ @thesubtweeter​ @heavenisapeach​ @ridingcthood​ @loveroflrh​ @wokeupinjapanisabop​ @mantlereid​ @inlovehoodx​ @irwinkitten​

[bookcoversalt]

A+ youtube video! I feel like this is a dumb question, but what other sources, exercises, etc would you suggest for a writer wanting to get better at, like, everything you do in that video? I feel like I'm just not intelligent when it comes to writing and reading. I slap down whatever seems fun and I'm sure it makes for a bland story full of stupid plot holes and everything you talked about, so how does one get better at dissecting this stuff and...writing/reading intelligently?

Thank you so much!! There’s a tendency to consider analytical people just “smart”, as if the observations they make come naturally to them. But that super isn’t true: being thoughtful and critical about media, like drawing or writing or playing a sport or learning an instrument, is a skill that you pick up by absorbing reference, learning the language of the art form, and then practicing replicating it through your own perspective.

ABSORBING REFERENCE

My two biggest critical inspirations are Lindsay Ellis, a video essayist who covers film and culture, and Film Crit Hulk, a screenwriter and movie critic, and I’ve been consuming their work since I was 15. (I’m 25 now! that’s a wholeass decade.) I've picked up many, may other sources along the way: other video essayists, pop culture commentators, TV critics, spirited roasts of 50 shades of gray, actual “writing craft” books and blog articles, long goodreads reviews of books I thought I had a pretty good grasp of the flaws on, funny booktube reviews, even “anti” posts. I read “how the last season of game of thrones went the fuck off the rails” articles til my eyes bled, not because I cared about game of thrones, but because there was so much good, insightful reporting being done on How And Why A Story Fell Apart.

LEARNING THE LANGUAGE

Not all of this is good or useful. There’s a lot of bad faith or shallow criticism out there. The cinemasins clickbaity style of nitpicking “plot holes” or penalizing a work for the mere presence of tropes without regard for broader artistic intent and cultural context is particularly insidious and should die. The people who think twilight is stupid because it has sparkly vampires are missing the point. A LOT of people critique YA in particular from a place of bitterness or bias or misplaced expectations (and so did I, to some degree, for a long time. I’ve worked really hard to grow out of that, I hope). But the point is to seek out content in this vein-- not what I consumed necessarily (I would not wish that many GOT thinkpieces on anyone), but stuff that interests you. The more of this you mindfully consume and the more perspectives you collect and compare, the more context you’ll have for what’s being discussed and the more you'll naturally start to form your own opinions on it. You will learn, slowly, by osmosis, to pull what strikes a chord with you from the noise.

REPLICATING IT THROUGH YOUR OWN PERSPECTIVE

The cool and fun part is that to some extent, your brain will start doing this on its own. You’ll read a book and you'll just notice more. You’ll call plot twists faster, or be more cognizant of the pacing, or connect dots you might not have otherwise connected. You’ll see the logistic scaffolding in your own work more clearly and you’ll be more aware of choices you’re making subconsciously. You’ll recognize thematic hypocrisy or worldbuilding inconsistencies and have the language to name them.

And you’ll also have the tools to explore your less clear-cut, more emotional reactions to art. And this is the most important but “hardest” part of this: sitting with vague feelings and unformed thoughts trying to suss out what’s at the heart of them and why, using your hard-won critical “training” and your contextual knowledge.

I like to frame them as questions:

Why did the end of [book] feel disjointed? Why didn’t I connect with the main character in [book]? What really resonated with me about the plot of [book]? Why does [character] appeal to me more than [other character]? Why does [book]’s use of [theme] make me uncomfortable?

Sometimes it comes down to just preference or subjective taste, and that’s fine and good to know. But more often than not, you’re reacting to something concrete that can be identified: 

The ending of HOUSE OF SALT AND SORROWS feels disjointed because it comes out of nowhere and has nothing to do with our heroine’s efforts in the larger story. I didn’t connect with the main character in HEARTLESS because within the context of the worldbuilding, her choices didn’t make sense. What really resonated with me about the plot of UPROOTED is its thematic coherency. The Darkling appeals to me more than Mal because the villain romance power fantasy aspect of the series is better fleshed out and ultimately more rewarding to read than the love story of two flawed teenagers. ACOWAR’s use of trauma and recovery makes me uncomfortable because it ceases to be a sincere element of anyone’s arc or characterization and becomes yet another tool to make Rhys look like the best and coolest and wokest fae boyfriend.

Pulled from an old Captain Awkward article, this is something I have in a sticky note on my desktop as sort of a criticism guide: 

One of the things we try to do is to push past “I liked it”/”I didn’t like it” as reactions to work. What is it? What is it trying to be? Is it good at being that thing? Was that a good thing to try to be in the first place? Did the artist have a specific agenda? How did it play with audiences at the time? Does it play the same way now? What stereotypes does it reinforce/undermine?

Even if it’s only for your own personal growth rather than intended for an audience, I recommend putting burgeoning critical thoughts or questions you’re trying to “work through” down in writing somewhere: goodreads reviews! tweets! blog posts! spamming your group chat! Even just a private word document. The synthesis of thoughts into written content forces you to identify and choose a specific articulation of your idea(s). If it’s in a pubic or semipublic forum, you’ll also be able to see which of your ideas resonate with other people, and that can (isn’t always, but CAN) be useful information as far as having an external barometer for when you’re onto something.

And then..... you do that a bunch of times in different ways for many years, with a lot of different books and movies and games and whatever else. Like any other skill, you will get better the more you do it. (Again: I have been doing this for ten years now, and it still took me three months to write that video script. Forming nuanced, informed opinions and then articulating them coherently is hard.)

As kind of a footnote tip, seek out peers who have the same goals and feelings, and try to connect with them! Lots of my current internet friends found me back when I was posting on my personal blog about problems i had with THE SELECTION or RED QUEEN and we bonded over having similar opinions and being in similar places in our writing/ reading/ careers. These people now beta read my scripts and posts and help me brainstorm or refine ideas. I strongly believe that creatives (and critics) do their best work and grow the most within a network of support and feedback.

But also, in regards to creative writing in particular, i want to be clear that having fun is the most important thing. I absolutely think creators need analytical skills to improve their craft, but without the enjoyment of doing the thing at the core of it, there is no craft at all. If you have to choose between the "smart” thing and the fun thing, choose the fun thing. Tbh, if you’re worried your work is bland, analysis probably isn’t the solution--  figuring out how to have more fun is the solution. And letting yourself lean into the stuff that’s wild and awesome and so incredibly you that it sets you on fire to write is a skill of its own :)

[vegetacide]

TaG: Bloodlines (Part 9 Bit 1 )

Veg • notables: Due to the length of this part I am splitting it up into two bits.

Any errors in this are strictly my own

Ty to @gumnut-logic and @scribbles97 for the brainstorming help and the encouragement.

Also a special thanks for Nutty for letting me borrow Gordon's talking bird from her fic "The Dentist" (Part 11)

Previous:

Part 1 | Part 2 Bit 1 & Bit 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8

Rating and General warning: Mature content head. If you are not a fan of medical issues of a female nature in relation to pregnancy please proceed with caution.

Characters: Virgil, Kayo, (V/K), Jeff, Scott 

Location: TaG-verse AU | Tracy Island

E N J O Y

8-8-8

Part 9 - Dipisahkan (Bit 1)

Week later...

“...and now for international news.  A suspected homicide and fire in an internet café in Istanbul has been downgraded to Death by Misadventure as autopsy reports conclude the presence of a high concentration of narcotics found in  the remains of the establishments proprietor, Berk Demir  The café has long since been suspected as being associated with several black-market smugglers groups and dark web anarchist but to date authorities have been unable to obtain the necessary proof to back the claims...”  

Kayo groaned and rolled her eyes as she flicked off the holo-fed.  She was not in the mood to listen to criminal reports and activities when there was nothing she could do to help.  

There were criminal elements the world over like that cafe, some of which she’d had an active hand in shouting down over the course of the last few years.  From human trafficking, to the sales of banned chemicals or other components that could cause a loose of life and had on some occasions.  

She’d helped where she could, always hopeful despite the odds that it would help bring to  justice the man that had caused so much pain to so many people.  

Whatever it took to protect those she called her family and humanity as a whole, she would do it.  The GDF had simply to ask and she was there. 

Being bound to the villa and watching what was going on in the world though was like dangling a carrot and the best course of action as she sat here and incubated another life was to avoid it at all costs.  

On top of that, the recommendation that she relocated to the mainland and even be further removed from everything was hard for her to swallow. 

After talking to Jeff and Scott that following morning after that little revelation by her OB-Gyn her life had been completely taken from her control.  Grandma had joined the conversation as well and had agreed wholeheartedly that thought the island was a good place for her to recuperate and rest for the time being,  the long term relocation was the best course of action.  

Grandma had been a respected and well known doctor before her retirement but obstetrics and neonatal care had not been her chosen discipline.  If there was a need for something more than just childbirth she didn’t feel adequately suited for the task.  

That with the addition to the island not being equipped with the necessary supplies and it didn’t take much to convince Virgil of their one and only recourse. 

So it looked like she was getting evicted and kicked even further afield from the action that made up her regular daily life. Relegated to a gestational oven, far away from home.  

Tossing the remote on the coffee table she flopped back and stared up at the ceiling.  Bored out of her gourd and feeling completely helpless for the first time in a long time. 

From across the room she heard a chuckle and tipped her head further back to look at her father in law.   

“Lucy had a hard time doing nothing too.  Especially when she was pregnant with Alan.”  He said,  exchanging his data pad for his cane and coming over to join her.  

“Please tell me, you found a way to stop her going insane with boredom.”  Kayo griped, righting herself with a grunt of effort. 

“She tried to take up knitting but with Gordon in the house…. It didn’t go over well.”  Jeff assumed a casual stance though he was favouring his right leg a bit.   After all his time in space, his recovery was slow and his joints were not enjoying gravity in the slightest.

Kayo made a face as she pictured the mess that must have been. “Well,  there is no way I am taking up knitting now,  Gordon is worse now than when he was a kid.” 

Jeff laughed with ease at that,  nodding his head in agreement with her statement.  

“Yes,  it’s best to keep him away from pointy sticks and yarn.  He too easily falls into temptation. “

They fell into a companionable silence. Just enjoying each other's company like they used to do when she was little and she was too annoyed or upset to hang out with the rambunctious brothers. 

It was weird how easily they fell back into the old routine,  Jeff  taking care of Tracy Industries and her doing any number of other quiet activities.

Oftentimes when she came to sit with him,  it was just so she could feel closer to her own father. Wherever he was.  She knew Jeff was aware of it but he always made time for her when she needed the comfort and he never made mention of it either.  Knowing she was trying to put on a brave front in front of the rest of the family.   

“It’s a beautiful day out.”  He remarked,  he’s face turned towards the large open balcony doors, the light breeze tousling his grey hair.  “Would you care to go for a stroll, I could use the company.”  

Kayo grinned and gave a nod.  Getting to her feet on her own steam for a change was a nice boost to her confidence.   Jeff stood close by to help but he didn’t ask or pester her like his sons were want to do and she was grateful for it. 

She loved all her extended family very much but they tended to treat her like she was glass and would break at any minute even her husband.  God, she loved him but his over protectiveness was starting to drive her batty.   

Being the well brought up man that he was, Jeff offered her his elbow as they made their way out the balcony doors and towards the veranda stairs. 

She tucked her hand in the crock of his arm, enjoying the warmth he offered her.  Circling the pool they came to the top of the trail head that led in a gentle descent down the cliff side to the tide pools that sat below the mammoth villa.  

It really was a beautiful day out and Kayo let her thoughts drift as the smells and sounds of their island home surrounded her.  

Tropical birds danced and chirped amongst the tall palms and ferny underbrush and she caught  a flash of iridescent black and a streak of white as something dove across their path.   Stopping to see where it went off to, her and Jeff blinked as whatever it was squawked and chirped and burped at them before something that sounded vaguely like ‘Virgil’  hailed down from further up the path.*

“Did that bird…?”  Kayo asked, slightly confused.  

Jeff just sighed and shook his head.  “I thought Gordon was joking when he said he taught a honeyeater to talk.”

“A what now?”  She was more baffled than ever.  

Jeff just patted her hand and they continued on their way.    

They meandered on at a sedate pace for a few minutes,  taking their time to traverse the well used path in no rush to reach any particular destination. 

Coming around a bend they reached a small lookout where a large outcropping of rock had been worn smooth by the elements making for a perfect place to park one’s backside. 

Jeff grunted as he settled onto the warm, volcanic rock and patted the space beside him in invitation.  

“I’ve always wondered..”  Kayo started,  kicking off her sandals and sighing contentedly as the sun-kissed warmth of the basalt soothed her feet. 

“Wondered what?”  Jeff encouraged,  tipping his cane back and forth between his hands.

“How did you manage it?” The look he sent her and the cant of his head pushed her to elaborate further. “Being away from home so often?” 

“Ah,”  He remarked as he caught on to her meaning. “While Lucille was pregnant and the boys were little.”

His brows dipped down as he thought of how best to respond, his jaw working back and forth as if he was chewing on the answer.  “Funny you should ask actually.”

Her brow arched up as she regarded him,  watching the quirk of his lip as he glanced her way.  “How so?”

“Virgil asked something similar.”  He didn’t elaborate more on that.  Just went back to chewing on an answer for her previous inquiry.  “Well,  I can tell you one thing.  It wasn’t easy.  There were a lot of late night comms calls that made me glad that NASA didn’t charge long distance fees.  And prior to the lunar communications relay being built,  a lot of long, mopey emails that Lucy loved to tease me about to no end.”  

“Virgil’s been barely gone a day and he’s already checked in with me three times…” Her voice trailed off and she pointed  to the heavens.  “You kept going back out there. I just….how? 

She really wanted to know the answer cause she had been asking the same thing to herself all week and she hadn’t been able to come up with an answer. 

“A job needed to be done and I had the skill set for it.  The world didn’t get put on hold just cause we decided to have a kid...and another... and another..” He chuckled to himself. “ And so forth.”

“I just told myself whenever I left,  get it done.  Get it done right,  precisely and correctly and get home.  Keep on tasks and I’ll be home before I know it.  For the most part that worked,  kept me focused.   When it didn’t  there was plenty a night where Lucy was there..”  

He sighed and rubbed at his chest.  An old ache that would never go away and she felt a pang of guilt for bringing it up.  

“You two will figure it out though.”  He added taking a cleansing breath, the sadness that hung in his gaze dulling as he shifted his train of thought away from his dearly departed. 

“It won't be easy,  they will be a few bumps but you’ll manage. Besides on the days when things don’t work,  the little nuget will have four uncles and great grandmother and an ecstatic Grandpa waiting the wings to lend a hand.”

Kayo looked down at her slowly distending tummy, her doubt churning with all the things they could mess up and would mess up.. But Jeff was right.  They weren’t alone. They had a large support system that was just as excited as they were for their little stowaway and they would figure it out.  

A bleep from Jeff’s wrist comms sounded and he glanced down to read the holographic message that had been sent to him. His brows dipped and he took a moment to send back a brief reply before giving her knee a pat.  

“Boys are on their way back. Should be here soon.”   

“Everything okay?”

He nodded as he held out the crook of his arm to her again. “Few bumps and bruises.  Alan sprained his ankle but Virgil saved him from a nastier spill.” 

Before she could ask about her husband,  Jeff raised a hand.  “Virgil is alright too but I am sure Grandma will have them both scanned within a inch of their lives the moment they get home.”  

Placated for the time being, she took the offered limb and they made their way back up the cliff side path. 

When Two finally landed some thirty minutes later, Kayo was chomping at the bit.   True to Jeff’s word though Grandma had both Virgil and Alan in her clutches within moments of them disembarking the massive cargo hauler.  

Alan limping along, Virgil and Gordon each under an arm.   The stretcher had been an option but the youngest Tracy had kicked up a fuss that it wasn’t really that bad.

Grandma had taken one look at the dirty lot of them and all thoughts of complaint had fled in the face of all that Doctor Grandma-feel my wraith energy.  

It was another twenty minutes before Kayo even had a chance to check in with her husband and when she finally managed to get a moment along with him he gathered her up in a hug and it didn’t appear as if he wanted to let go.

He was freshly showered and changed. Hair and skin still a slightly damp and smelling of soap.  

Running her hands up and down his back, her head tucked into the crook of his neck she gave him a gentle squeeze which he reciprocated.  

“Hey,  tough day at the office?”  She said into his ear. 

“Something like that.” 

Taking his hand Kayo tugged him toward the elevator. “Come on,  let’s get you fed and watered before you get called away again.

“That’s supposed to be my job.”  The grin that up turned his lips chased some of the shadows away from his eyes

“Well then,  hurry up and I may let you mother-hen me.  Though I will warn you, I can’t be held responsible if I start throwing things at you.”

“Oh, there’s a challenge if ever I heard one.”  He chuckled, tucking her in under his arm as they passed through the heavy doors into the cab.   

“So,”  She started,  hitting the button for the upper level. “How’d it go?” 

Virgil shrugged with one shoulder.  “Couple amateur rafters got into trouble on a class five that they had no business being anywhere near. Alan lost his footing as we were pulling them to shore.  He’ll be alright in a few weeks,  the rafters on the other hand are going to be getting some hefty fines for trespassing on a private reserve.”

The elevator dinged and the doors opened to the kitchen.  “Sucks to be them.”  

The awesome scent of roast chicken had Virgil distractedly grunting in agreement and Kayo grinned.  The thought of food had obviously caused his brain to short out and speech had taken a back seat to hunger. 

Coming up to the counter, she peaked around Virgil’s shoulder to admire the spread of food.  Cecilia had been busy.  

The Haitian woman was a genius in the kitchen and the boys had been spoiled rotten lately with her cooking.  

Carb loading had turned into the number one pastime for the brothers and they endeavoured to consume  as much as possible before her departure for the mainland with Kayo.  There had been talk around the table about hiring her on full-time once the baby was born but it usually took second place to food shoveling and breathing. 

‘Cecilia, that smells fantastic.”

“Virgil Tracy, you keep your fingers out of that roast.  It’s not done yet.” The tall woman swatted at his hands with her baster and stole the carrot back that he had managed to pilfer.  “Don’t blame me if you get salmonella poisoning.  There is no way I am going to be held at fault for tossed cookies on the next call out. You hear me?”  

“Yes, ma’am.”  Chastised he took a seat and watched with longing in his eyes as the food guru went back to work 

Kay just rolled her eyes and plunked down onto the stool beside him, tossing a leg over his thigh as she got comfortable. 

He glanced down at it and grinned,  putting hand on her knee and giving it a little squeeze. 

“Comfortable?” 

“Yup.” 

Getting a little distracted Kayo jumped a bit when a cup of tea was placed in front of her. The scent of ginger tickled her sinuses and she looked up to see Cecilia standing across from her with her arms on her hips and a tea towel tossed over her shoulder. 

“Drink up. You need to keep hydrated.”  She instructed, pointing at the cup. “And no hanky panky in my kitchen.” 

Virgil’s hand dropped from where it had slid up her thigh and he did his best to look innocent. 

“Don’t you play coy with me.”  The tall woman scolded, placing a cup of coffee in front of him.  “It’s what got the two of you into all this baby hubbub in the first place and I don’t want it in my kitchen.”

Reprimanded they checked themselves and they both directed their attention at their respective drinks. 

Foot falls down the stairs had Kayo turning to see Scott.   He flashed a smile as he approached, data pad in hand.  

“Hey,  thought I would find you here.” He said,  walking behind the counter to snag a fresh cup of coffee. 

“Food was a necessity.”  Virgil smirked, taking a sip from his own cup. 

“John’s finished making those upgrades to the security system at the house in Parnell and the rota’ has been adjusted for the next few days until you get everything settled.” Scott held the data pad out to Kayo so she could see.

She blinked surprised she was being included in this even though she was the security specialist in the family. Taking the pad she flicked through the information that it provided.  Updated security measures, upgrade gear and protocols.  All things she had improved upon recently when Jeff had come home with little tweaks here and there by John for surveillance and anti-surveillance measures.

She was impressed and it must have shown on her face.  

“You trained Hubbert well.” Scott remarked, a telling comment on his approval of their  T.I security crew.  “He has assigned Baxster and Jenkins to watch over things at the house and escort you to and from your appointments and such.”  

“They’ll do.   They both had advanced hand to hand tactics training and a working knowledge of counter intelligence measure that could come in handy if…”  She paused and corrected herself. “When the media gets wind.”  

“GDF has agreed to lend us a couple of bodies as well so we aren’t stretched too thin. They’ll be made available when needed.” 

Looking into his coffee cup Virgil questioned, “You sure this is going to be okay?” Kayo knew he hated to be a burden on his brothers, preferring to be the one to provide support and not the one that needed it.  

Scott gave his shoulder a pat.  “Don’t worry, we got it. Even with Alan down we can cover things for a few days until you get back.   Aunt Val is aware we are limited for a few days and is making preparations on her side if the need arises.”

Virgil didn’t look all that convinced but there wasn’t much he could do.  His hands were tied as much as hers were.  

“I still don’t like this.”  

“I know, Bro.” Scott gave him a nudge and his large frame rocked slightly with it.  “Pulling you from rotation completely is still an option if you want to take it.”  

He shook his head.  “No, that won’t work. Our effectiveness will go up in smoke and I don’t want that on my conscience anymore than you do.”  

“But it’s my burden to take on as field commander, V.  Not yours.” 

This was just going around in circles and it wasn’t really getting them anywhere.   Kayo nudged her husband from the other side.

“Come on,  take me for a walk up to the lookout.  I want to watch the sunset before dinner and it looks like we have the time.”  

Cecilia who had been busily chopping greens for a salad nodded her head in confirmation when Kayo looked to her to verify. 

“Besides,  I could use a light exercise. I feel like I am starting to resemble a blimp. 

Virgil choked on his coffee and turned to her.  “A blimp? Hardly.”  

Giving Scott a wink,  she took a sip of her tea content for the time being that the heavy talk had been effectively brushed aside.  This was one that she knew they would come to  rehash again later though she knew there really was no use in it. 

They had to do what they had to do. Moving to the mainland though a pain was their only option and Virgil needed to keep doing what he was doing.  As Jeff has said,  the world didn’t stop just because they were with child. 

8-8-8

End of Part One

NEXT