#not responding to everything mostly just letting it stand so others can see

[bookwyrminspiration]

(warning: this is... long. i had to put post dividers on this to make it readable. i would have put a read more but i can't in an ask, sorry.)

i think the most puzzling thing of all about this drama is that like.... i've been doing this forever. i've been posting keefe/fintan stuff (not regularly, but still!) since at least feb 2022 on the dolentsnows account. hell, i KNOW i've even talked about tam/linh specifically before then, though i can't remember if it was public or not.

and there was no problem! people just blocked each other and filtered and it was fine!

i'm frankly just. SO confused as to why that post of all things is what set it off. like guys. what.

also, re: "it normalizes pedophilia/incest/abuse/whatever" my posts get like ten notes max, most of those being likes from my dear mutuals who dont necessarily love the stuff i do but still wanna show they support me anyway.

if you'd just think for a minute, i think it's pretty easy to see that no one's gonna be converted into a sex freak any time soon.

and the fact that people are calling me a pedophile for... *checks notes* writing about characters that are the same age as i am or older in relationships with adults is. something. especially considering that:

in all the ACTUAL content i've made, excluding ONE post about alvar being keefe's gay awakening, the characters have been over the legal age in france (my country), so even the "it's illegal" argument falls apart.

why do you immediately assume i'm imagining myself to be the adult here? you don't know what's going on in my life. you don't know my reasons for doing what i do. i started shipping those kinds of ships ever since i was a pretty young kid, and i don't have to explain myself to anyone. (note: i am not a victim of csa, just want to make that clear. i've got other shit going on. but also you guys don't actually care about survivors and it's obvious.)

and fun fact: incest is legal in france as well, as long as it's between two consenting adults. i have decided, right now, effective immediately, that linh and tam are both over 18 in those drawings. since it's legal it means there's no problem right?

all this to say, let's just drop the whole "legal = moral, illegal = immoral" train of thought right here.

i do have one thing to apologize for, though: i didn't properly tag the first post. that has since been rectified and i've added community labels for good measure. i have and will apologize again for that mistake because it was entirely on me. i'm genuinely sorry to the people who saw that with no warning and i won't make that mistake again going forward.

but i also know that there are people who clicked on some of my posts even after i added the community labels and then complained (in my ask box, no less!) and to those i say: just read the tags, guys. they're still visible even with the community labels hiding the post.

sorry for the angry tone, but i am kind of miffed about all this. mostly that it turned into such a big deal when it really didn't have to be.

to conclude: stay strong out there guys, hopefully modern fandom will develop basic internet skills one day.

No worries about the length or tone, you're good.

I believe the reason that one post sparked issue is because, I don't know if you're aware, there's actually been a pretty significant surge in new fans in the past few months following info about Unraveled.

So while you have been here and posting your stuff for a while, for a good chunk of the currently active people, I think that was their first time seeing you. And also possibly one of their first times seeing art/ships like that up close, since keeper tends to be a first/earlier fandom.

Hence the stronger reaction. Though I don't think it's fair to blanket statement say they don't care about survivors. That's the sort of strawmanning/ad hominem talk that leads to shutting down/self-defense that doesn't get us anywhere. We can all rise above logicial fallacies <3

But anyway, the worst seems to have passed, unless we all feel like regressing for some reason :)

[lcriedlastnight]

Ok so I got a request pls 🙏 🥹

Maybe Oscar's or Max Fs sister and Lando with the prompt "I'm your lockscreen?" - "you weren't supposed to see that"

I hope that's enough if not I can come up with a longer one

no this is so prefect! i love this so much!

tw: fem!reader, swear, lmk if you want me to add anything.

w/c: 933

max was a great brother. he was a little protective but overall he was the best. he had gone round all of his friends, every time he made a new one, telling them you were strictly off limits.

of course this also applied to lando, too. no matter how rich they were, or how famous or how pretty they were. yeah, you maybe had fallen victim to lando norris' charm. you had no idea what it was because he literally had no game, what so ever. you just thought he was cute, it made you feel like a teenager with a crush on your brother's best friend. half of it being true.

you had been looking forward to max's birthday celebrations, not to celebrate his birthday. no but to see his pretty, curly-haired best friend. you had not been this excited in a while. it was a little embarrassing but you just played it off like you were excited to be with your brother. maybe you were a little excited to see him too, you had not actually seen him in a while as he was almost just as bad as lando with being all around the world all the time. you were jealous, you always wanted to travel.

you arrive at max's house just after lando does. you two are the only guests that have arrived so far. seeing as max had asked you both to come a little earlier to help him prepare that did not surprise you. you do not even bother knocking, instead you just walk inside and announce aloud that you were here. you hear a muffled shout from the other room- well two muffled shouts to be exact, alerting you that both boys were in the kitchen. lando's laugh could be heard from a mile away.

max greets you as soon as he notices your presence while lando just stands in place, grinning like a fool. you do not understand him sometimes but you smile back at him anyways, never one to be impolite.

"hi. what exactly do you need help with, max?" you asked, setting your things on the counter so you could help him with the getting ready prospect of the party.

an hour later and you wished you had never bothered responding to your brothers desperate text messages last night, pleading you to come help him set up. both boys had ended up slacking so you had put mostly everything together. max complained "why should i have to set up? it's my birthday." but lando was quick to humble him, "you're the one who decided to throw a last minute party in your own house."

after a lot of of complaining from both boys, they eventually did end up pulling their weight and once all the balloons and banners were set up to max's liking he gave both you and lando the go ahead to begin getting ready. unfortunately because you knew you were getting ready at max's you had to haul a heavy bag full of your makeup and outfit options for the night in a tote bag. on the bright side though, lando offered to carry it up stairs for you and you got to see the way his muscles bulged as he strained to carry the bag.

for some reason lando had refused to leave your side as you got ready, claiming it was relaxing to watch you get ready. how you did not know this boy was down bad for you was unbelievable. he literally offered to let you play music on his phone while yours charged on the opposite side of the room. he watched on with a pretty smile as you scroll through his liked songs on spotify, trying to find the one that sets the mood of how you were currently feeling getting ready.

lando makes small talk as he lays on the guest bed behind you, just catching up with you really, as you follow the steps in your makeup routine. the song catches you off guard but you physically recoil as it plays. "i fucking hate this song!" you exclaim, the pre-game drinks settling in a little. you tap lando's phone screen to change the song when you catch a glimpse at his phone screen. it was a glimpse because it faded to black before you could really study it. you did not need more than a glimpse to recognise your face staring back at you.

"i'm your lock screen?" you ask lando. you turn to face him on the bed, you can see the panic in his eyes as your words register in his mind.

"what?" he laughs lunging for his phone like that would do anything. the damage was done now. you had seen the picture. there was no going back. "that's not- uh."

you smirk as lando tries and fails to dig himself out this.

"you weren't supposed to see that." lando blushes a little. it is the first time you have ever seen lando blush. you suppress the urge to grab your own phone and snap a picture of him, all pink cheeked and starry eyed. maybe you would make it your lock screen.

"it's fine. it's cute. now i want you as my lock screen." you smile at him desperately wanting to calm his nerves. lando just grins at you.

you had then made it that night's mission to take the cutest picture of lando to set as your own lock screen. you succeeded but not without a mouthful from max on what the fuck you thought you were doing.

[d0youc0py]

I’ve been seeing so much ex husband price stuff on here and it’s making me drool. So I’m contributing some ex husband/not divorced yet but taking a break for vague reasons but you both still deeply love each other TF 141….Also this is sappy, dramatic and not accurate character portrayal—just let me live in denial!

“Johnathan, it’s 1 am.” You groaned, trying to rub the sleep from your eyes.

“Go back to bed, Honey.” He muttered back quickly. You shot him a glare at the term of endearment. He was balancing a flashlight between his teeth, his back mostly turned to you.

“Are you fixing that window?” You questioned, turning on the overhead light. He must’ve not wanted to wake you. He took the flashlight out of his mouth, looking over his shoulder at you. His chest swelled at the sight of you in one of his shirts. It took every ounce of self restraint not to wrap you up in his arms. “I told you over the phone I hired someone to come and fix it.” You yawned.

“And have some stranger traipsing through the house.” He huffed. You watched as his arms flexed at even the slightest movements. You hated these moments of weakness. It was the same reason why you couldn’t fall asleep unless you were wearing one of his shirts. Or the same reason you would light a cigar like it was incense. The same reason why you always answered his daily calls. Then you’d remember why you wanted a divorce in the first place. It always felt like someone dumping cold water on you.

And thats exactly how you felt now.

“That’s not your problem anymore, John.” You reminded. His blood ran cold. Yet he kept up his unbothered appearance.

“Never a problem, Honey.” He assured, still keeping his back to you. You sighed running a hand over your face.

“I just- I don’t think it’s appropriate for you to just show up whenever you want. It’s my house right? That’s what you agreed to. It’s not just some motel you can show up at whenever you want to feel needed.” You spat. His body was still and ridged. His teeth ached from the tight clenching of his jaw and the pain in his chest was wince worthy.

“I know.” He said slowly. “I just want you to know I’ll always take care of you, Honey.” He began to turn towards you but stopped himself. He couldn’t stand to see the look on your face.

“I don’t need you to take care of me, John.” You continued. “I was able to survive before you and when you left me every other month.” You don’t know why you were being so forceful with him. Maybe it was because you hadn’t physically seen him in a few weeks.

“Well maybe I’m not doing it for you, hmm?” He shot back, finally facing you. His eyes were just as red the day you walked out of the lawyers office. “You made your decision, but that doesn’t mean you just stopped being the most important thing in my life. So yeah, I’m going to drop by if I feel I need to because I vowed to always take care of you and no fucking paper you make me sign is going to take that away from me. If you don’t like that you can get a restraining order.”

He didn’t even have a moment to catch his breath before your hands found their way to his shoulders, pulling him down for a kiss.

“Hey, Cap.” You smiled into your phone. Calls from Price were kinda common- he just liked to check up on you here and there, but you could tell by the sigh on the other end this wasn’t going to be about you.

“Hey, Kiddo.” He started. “I catch you at a good time?” He questioned.

“Yeah, just watching TV. Everything alright?” You questioned back. There was another sigh on his end, and it sounded like he was taking a drag of his cigar.

“No one’s hurt.” He was trying to pick his words carefully. “It’s ’bout Simon, though.”

“Okay.” You responded slowly. Just the mention of Simon’s name had a small tremor rise in your body. It’s not like you had gone no-contact with him. He called you a few times a week just to ask if you needed anything, if anything in the flat needed to be fixed, or just to make sure you locked all the windows before going to sleep. “You’re building up a lot of suspense here, Cap.” You offered a fake chuckle.

“Sorry.” He paused again and you wanted to rip your hair out. “He’s just- I know it’s really none of my business what happened between the two of you but he’s not doing good, Love.”

“What do you mean?”

“He’s doing fine work-wise. But I’m worried about him personally. He’s droppin’ weight, smoking a couple packs a day, drinkin’ when he knows he’s not suppose to be. When he’s not doing that he just sits and stares. Johnny has to check his pulse sometimes.” It was his turn to offer you a chuckle. Another pause and drag. A few fat tears rolled down your cheeks and Price ran a hand over his face when he heard you sniffle. “I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this, but I also know you would get after me if I didn’t. Now you don’t owe him anything, but I think just a call from you would help him out a lot.”

“You think he’s doing this because of me?” You whispered.

“Course.” Price responded immediately. He cringed at himself. “What I mean to say is, you’re that man’s ‘reason.’ You get what I’m saying? Men like me and him need a reason. A reason to come home. A reason to be better. A reason to just get our asses out of bed at the crack of dawn. Like I said you don’t owe him anything, Kiddo, but I think just hearing your voice would do him some good.”

“Thank you, Price. For looking out for him and me.” You said sincerely.

“It’s what I get paid for.” He shot back with a laugh. You rolled your eyes, pressing the big red button after a ‘goodbye’. Your swollen eyes raked over the wedding photos you still had hanging in the living room. You couldn’t not call him. You wondered how long he’d been acting like this. Had he been doing it the whole time you had been separated? You rubbed at your eyes working up the courage to press his contact in your phone.

It only rang once before he answered.

“You alright?” He asked quickly.

“Yeah.” You replied, taking a deep breath. “Just calling to check in.” You said slowly. You heard him breathe a sigh of relief.

“Checkin’ in on me?” He repeated. Your heart ached at the thought that he seemed to think you didn’t care about him.

“That okay?” You urged. He hummed in agreement. “If you’re busy I can call bac”-

“Not busy.” He cut off. “What’ve you been up to?” You heard some shuffling and it sounded like he was getting into bed. You wondered what time it was wherever he was in the world.

“Nothing too interesting. I got a new cat! She’s an older tabby who’s seen some things, but she’s a Sweetheart.” You rambled on smiling.

“She probably thinks she’s in heaven with you.” He snickered. You giggled at his words and his eyes shut tightly trying to soak up every second of it.

“Simon, is there anyway when you get back you could help me move in a new cat tower? They’re all fighting over the one we have.” Using the word ‘we’ had just become habit when talking to Simon. You didn’t even realize you had said it. But you using that word was all the ‘reason’ he needed.

“Of course. I’ll be home Wednesday. That work for you?” His heart was beating out of his chest like it did the very first time he asked you out on a date.

“That’s perfect. I’ll see you then, Si.”

*inaccurate medical rules*

Your leg bounced up and down nervously, your eyes about to burn a hole in the pale blue curtain. You were in an accident- not a major one, but you did receive a concussion.

Johnny was still your emergency contact and according to the nurses he was more than willing to pick you up.

“He’s not entirely my husband.” You began. The nurse raised his eyes from the clipboard for a split second before shrugging.

“Says it in your file and he’s still your emergency contact. He’s already on his way, but do you have anyone else we could call?” His tone was bored and you wondered how many times he had to have this conversation a day. You slowly shook your head. “Well we can’t just let you leave by yourself.” He sighed.

“I know, but I filed for divorce. He just refuses to sign it. Doesn’t that count for anything?” You pleaded. The nurse gave you a sour look.

“I can change your emergency contact so in future accidents he won’t be contacted.” You furrowed your brows at his choice of words.

“Hopefully there won’t be anymore accidents.” Your body stiffened at the all too familiar voice. The curtain was drawn back revealing your husband. He gave you a soft smile and you hated the way it settled your stomach.

“Yeah right, so change your emergency contact or no?” The nurse piqued up. You shut your eyes tightly, shaking your head side to side. You wished the floor would swallow you. The nurse looked between you and Johnny before giving you two some privacy.

“I’m sorry about all this, John.” You sighed standing up. “They wouldn’t let me leave without someone signing for me. If you could just walk me out, I can call an Uber.”

“John?” He repeated, in a whisper. It was probably just intended for himself. His chest tightened. No nicknames. He partly hoped that this experience would’ve softened you. Made you happy to be alive. Make you want to wrap your arms around him and call off the whole ‘divorce’ thing. He can picture all the times you sprawled out on his chest, whispering into his skin how safe you felt with him. Now here you were inching yourself away from him like he would ever hurt you. “I’d rather take you home.” He pressed.

“It’s seriously okay John”-

“Enough with the formalities.” He snipped. Your eyes widened and he groaned at his mistake. “You’re discounting everything we’ve been through together. Treating me like some stranger.” He growled out.

“Well what am I suppose to do? Hmm? You want me to call you ‘Mac’ again. Or any of the other ridiculous nicknames I made up for you? Well I’m not going to do that! You were good to me for so many years, Johnny- please don’t think I have forgotten that. But this last year it’s like I haven’t even existed to you. You’re taking every single job that is thrown your way like you don’t even want to be with me anyone, so I’m just doing what you do obviously want but aren’t going to say.” Your voice shook and tears dropped from your eyes, but you held your ground. His jaw clenched tightly, his eyes red from holding back what you had already given up hiding.

“You think I want this? I”-

“Hey, as much as this has been the highlight of my week, we actually need your bed back.” The nurse interrupted, peaking his head through the curtains. Your flushed but nodded your head in understanding. Johnny was hot on your trail following you out. The cold air felt nice against your heated body and you turned to Johnny waiting for him to make the first step.

“I’m sorry for gettin’ on you in there.” He sighed. He shifted on his feet. “I just miss you.” His eyes refused to meet yours knowing it would cause him to break. He opened and closed his mouth trying to find the words to how desperately he wanted you in his life.

“For a man who loves to talk you sure are having a hard time.” You sniffled, wiping at your still streaming eyes.

That was all he needed to let it out. It was sloppy and unfiltered, but yet it shattered your world and everything you thought you knew about the man and how he felt about you.

You saw him at the store. It wasn’t the first time you had run into him- actually you two seemed to be bumping into each other all over the place. And without hesitation every single time he would flee the scene like you were some bully from high school he ran into. The same thing happened tonight. You both turned into the same aisle, stared at each other for a moment, then he dropped his basket and charged out the door.

You had already made up your mind weren’t going to let him go this easy.

You rushed after him, at a speed walk pace.

“Kyle!” You shouted after him in the parking lot. He was just opening the door to his sleek black car, one of his feet inside already. He paused for a moment, before sliding into the drivers seat. You were able to grab the door handle before he shut it on you.

“What the fuck are you doing?!” He growled, beginning to tug the door back. Your hand gripped the car door and he quickly faltered not wanting to slam it shut on your fingers.

“Just let me talk, please?” You begged. Those same brown eyes that you had spent the best part of your life staring into bore coldly into yours. “I just- We keep running into each other. I just think it’s silly that we keep avoiding each other.”

“Not silly.” He shot back without missing a beat. “You don’t want me anymore, remember?” Your heart dropped.

“Ky, that’s not true”-

“Fucking save it, Y/N. You’re the one who wanted to take a break. Why don’t you just divorce me and get it over with already.” He spat. His face curled in a way that made you want to die.

“Is that what you want?” You asked quietly. He ran his hands up and down his face.

“I’m tired of your games, Lovie.” His voice held no warmth. “I want my partner back. The same person who I vowed to spend the rest of my life with. The same person I vowed to love and protect- but that person doesn’t even seem to be you anymore. I couldn’t imagine just cutting you out of my life the way you did to me. And the fact that you were able to do it fucking terrifies me. Just call me when you figure your shit out.”

He shut the door and you let him.

[shaunamilfman]

Dating Ghost!Jackie Headcanons

pairing: Jackie Taylor x r note: I'm not sure what this is either 🤷

Jackie being a pain in your ass beyond the grave. maybe not getting on with her super well while she was alive, so while her death was sad, it wasn’t nearly as emotionally devastating as it was for Shauna or someone else. so when you suddenly start seeing Jackie standing behind Shauna and trying to get her attention as she sobs over Jackie’s corpse, you wonder why you of all people would “hallucinate” her.

she finally notices you can see her when you can’t quite muffle your laugh at some petty comment she makes as the girls start carrying her body off to the meatshed. her eyes immediately narrow in on you while you’re just standing like a deer in the headlights.

just thinking about Shauna out there sobbing and crying in the meatshed with Jackie's corpse while Jackie's screaming in your ear because you won’t respond to her and she knows your ass can see her. at the top of her fucking lungs like a damn toddler. keeps switching into songs that give Crystal and Misty a run for their money on being annoying. holding a pillow over your head and groaning to drown her out, and Lottie’s trying to put a hand on your shoulder to comfort you, thinking it's hunger pain or something.

she doesn’t talk as much as she did before—not that she ever really talked to you all that much to begin with. Jackie stares after Shauna a lot, following her around and trying fruitlessly to get her to hear her. she’s quiet a lot now, but if she’s not at Shauna’s side, she’s at yours. 

you finally give up and start answering her whenever you’re mostly alone, claiming it’s just because you’ve accepted that you’re crazy now—though it’s mostly because she just looks so damn sad all the time. she brightens up a lot after this, following you like a lost puppy as you find the emptiest corners of the room to sit in. the other girls sometimes catch you talking to yourself, but with how everyone else is doing, they don’t bother to be concerned about it.

makes it her mission to annoy you as much as humanly possible, commenting on every little thing you’re doing like she’s a game show host. if you have to listen to Jackie narrate the way you eat one more time, you might just join her. always finds the worst time to jump out at you, giggling as she makes you look insane for screaming in shock in the middle of the cabin.

Jackie knocks stuff over whenever the other girls start talking shit about Shauna’s behavior in the meatshed. she doesn’t talk a lot about what Shauna does there, but she always looks strangely flattered when she comes back.

keeps you up to date on all the little drama’s going on in the cabin that you don’t witness. there’s literally no stopping her from eavesdropping on conversations and giving you a play-by-play as they happen. sometimes you just hear a dramatic gasp as her ghostly ass is skipping over to you to tell you about it.

bullies you into giving some of your food to Shauna. Shauna looks at you like you’re crazy but eagerly accepts it all the same. Jackie is standing there looking so proud of herself, like she’s the one that’s going to be starving and not you.

you have weird dreams almost every night. they aren’t unpleasant, just a little strange. they’re always about Jackie, always in places you think she would’ve enjoyed. walking around the mall, passing the ball around on the field, that sort of thing. you don’t think much of it until Jackie mentions something in passing one day about it.

guilt trips you into doing things for her all the time. “Do you remember that time you let me go outside and die in the snow?” and then “yeah, that’s what I thought.” when you roll your eyes and go do it.

thinking about Jackie’s emotions bleeding over onto you. Jackie’s always felt everything so strongly, and this only seems to get worse after she’s died. you can literally feel her longing so strongly that it’ll wake you up in the middle of the night, just to find Jackie staring at you with the softest little look. you aren’t sure how to feel about it at first, but it’s better than feeling her grief.

who’s going to tell the dead girl she can’t have a little crush after all? besides, it’s not like you’re uninterested: Jackie’s the prettiest girl you’ve ever met. it’s a strange dynamic, but it’s not like either of you have a lot of options out here.

just as possessive, even in death. starts getting incredibly jealous whenever you talk to someone who’s alive. Nat’s asking if you’ve seen her headband and the fucking door slams open against the wall. you weren’t even aware she could do something like that. you can feel her eyes burning a hole into the back of your head as the whole room starts to get cold if anyone goes near you besides Shauna.

she always tries to touch you, but most of the time you can’t feel it. the only time you can is when she gets particularly emotional. a hand closing around your wrist and almost pulling you away when she gets particularly jealous about something, a finger brushing away your tears when you can’t help but cry, etc.

Jackie can’t really do much else, so she resorts to a lot of compliments. she compliments your three layers of random shirts like it was an actual fashion choice, and you finally have to draw the line. just thinking about Jackie complimenting you and then sitting cross-legged in front of you like “and now me,” all expectant.

[kinardsevan]

A hand written note for bucktommy if it inspires 💙

(literally stole this one from my parents)

Evan keeps one of them in his locker at work. Another in his wallet. A third is framed on his nightstand. Tommy actually got jealous about it when he realized Evan had kept them in such a way, so he’d ensured he left one on Tommy’s nightstand a week later. And coffee mug. And on the rearview mirror in his truck. 

. . . 

He’s coming off a long shift the night it happens. He and Tommy have barely seen each other in the past week, given the fact that they’re coming through the end of wildfire season, so Tommy’s shifts have been more scattered and run into overtime. Evan really hasn’t had it easy either, even though the 118 has been fighting from the ground. So after ten days when Tommy calls him halfway through his shift to let him know that he’s finally getting a few days off, it takes everything inside Evan to not run out of the firehouse.

Still, by some miracle, he manages to make it through the next twelve hours, although by the time he’s standing in the locker room, changing into his civvies, he’s practically vibrating with excitement. 

“Clearly Tommy’s schedule finally matched up with yours,” Eddie jokes as he tosses his clothes into his bag. 

“It’s been a week and a half, Eds,” Evan replies, tossing his toiletry pouch into his duffel. “Do me a favor and don’t call for twenty-four hours?” 

Eddie laughs at him as Evan hoists his bag up his shoulder, rounds the bench. “Sure, Buck. You and T have a good night. Don’t tell me how it goes.” 

Evan waves a dismissive hand over his shoulder as he walks out of the locker room and out of the firehouse, already dialing on his phone. When he gets to the jeep, he tosses his things in and starts it up, settles his phone on the dash when Tommy picks up. 

“You just get out,” his boyfriend asks, skipping the pleasantries. 

“Yeah,” Evan replies, pulling out of his parking space. “I may have told Eddie not to call for the next twenty-four.” 

Tommy’s laughter is audible. “Not a bad idea, Buckley.” 

Evan can’t stop the smile that tugs across his face or the pink that dusts across his cheeks as he heads for the road. 

“I’m like twenty minutes out,” he tells Tommy after a moment. 

“Okay cool. I just got to that little Italian store we like, so I might be a few minutes later. Gotta pick up some provisions. Plus they just got the good mozzerella in.” 

Evan groans softly. “Making me wait even longer to see you?” 

Tommy chuckles again. “All in due time, sweetheart. I shouldn’t be much longer. You can call me when you get there if you want.” 

Evan frowns, but doesn’t argue. 

“I can hear you pouting,” Tommy comments. “Soon, Evan.”

“Okay,” he responds, acquiescing. “Soon.” 

Tommy ends the call after that, and Evan focuses on his drive. True to his word, he’s across town in the promised time limit, pulling into Tommy’s driveway and yanking his bag from the passenger seat and crossing the yard to the front door. He practically hops onto the front step, slipping his key in the door to let himself in. 

Inside the house, Tommy has left a few lamps on to light his way. He leaves his bag by the door with his shoes, where Tommy usually drops his own duffel, and then heads towards the kitchen. Still, as he starts to head towards the fridge, he’s suddenly stopped in his tracks.

Post-its are everywhere. The fridge, the counter, the vase of mostly-dead flowers Evan bought two weeks ago. 

All with the same message. 

I love you.

His heart clenches as he reaches out for one of the yellow sticky notes plastered to the fridge, his vision blurring with tears as he reads the black sharpie. It’s written in Tommy’s better penmanship, like he didn’t just hastily scrawl it, but actually took the time to write each one out carefully and with purpose. 

They’ve been dancing around those three words for weeks now, even if it’s been months that they’ve been felt. Still, neither of them wanted to jump the gun on it, and selfishly, Evan wanted to find his own way to make it special. Everything about their relationship has been handled with such care from the beginning that he didn’t want it to be a quick thing. He wanted to put the time and effort into not just saying how he felt, but showing it.

Clearly, Tommy has beaten him to the quick. 

“I had this whole thing planned.” 

Evan turns then, sees Tommy leaning in the doorway towards the bedroom. He’s smiling back at the blonde with adoration. 

“W-what?” 

Tommy nods. “Bought all this food and these candles. I was going to make a whole thing about it. And then the wildfire happened, and the flowers I had on hold died, and because I couldn’t pick up the food, they refunded my order.” He strides across the room as he talks, sliding his arms around Evan’s waist. “And then I just couldn’t keep it in anymore. Didn’t want to wait another minute to tell you.” 

Evan hiccups a sniffle as the tears in his eyes finally run down his face, Tommy pressing a kiss into the side of his neck. 

“I love you too,” he rasps, clasping a hand tight around Tommy’s where it’s resting on his hip. “Kinda wanted to go first, but you stole my thunder.” 

Tommy laughs softly against his neck, continuing a row of kisses down Evan’s collarbone before he finally pulls up and turns the younger man in his arms, getting a full view of him. He lifts a hand and brushes it through Evan’s hairline, down his cheek, under his chin, pulling Evan into an open-mouthed kiss. The blonde moans into it, looping an arm around Tommy’s neck and cradling his head, keeping him close. There’s no rush to break apart, taking one another in and rebuilding the map of each other’s mouths. When they finally do break apart, they still remain in each other’s space, Tommy nuzzling up against the space in front of Evan’s ear, laying light kisses beneath it. 

“I love you so much, Evan Buckley,” he murmurs. Evan shivers, both at his breatha and the confession being stated out loud. He sniffles again, buries his face in the shoulder of Tommy’s olive henley. 

“Might love you more,” he rasps, clinging tightly to his boyfriend. Tommy chuckles and shakes his head, trailing his fingers up and down Evan’s back. 

“That’s debatable. Might have to split the days of the week,” he replies. “Can’t be at a disadvantage.” 

Evan just sighs against him, turning his face into Tommy’s neck. He closes his eyes and inhales Tommy’s scent, letting himself be wrapped in the knowledge that this isn’t just his boyfriend now. He loves Tommy, and Tommy loves him. 

When he finally pulls back after a few minutes, Tommy brushes his thumb over Evan’s cheeks, wiping away the tears there. 

“You good,” he asks. 

Evan nods. “Mostly.” 

Tommy furrows his brow at him. “Mostly isn’t a yes.” 

Evan can’t help the smirk that crawls across his face. “Well, my boyfriend and I haven’t had sex in almost two weeks. Been itching to get dicked down for days now.” 

Tommy chuckles at him, even as his pupils dilate and he leans forward, leaving light kisses on Evan’s lips.

“Well then. We’re just gonna have to do something about that.” 

[tsunami-of-tears]

Healing Hands

Poly+ ACOTAR Week 2024 - Day 2 (Comfort)

Cazriel x Healer Reader

Summary: When Azriel and Cassian require healing, they can always rely on their friend, Y/N, to help them out.

Pairing Masterlist

Wordcount: 1.6K

Warnings: injury/illness; slight angst; mostly fluff.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *

Reader

When you first saw Azriel, cloaked in shadows, you thought death had finally come for you. 

Instead, he offered you a new chance at life. 

You couldn't help but develop a little crush. Gods, he was so handsome. Attractive and kind - you were done for. 

And then there was Cassian. He was so easy to get along with, the two of you were fast friends, especially with the amount of injuries the male received. 

You wondered if he was doing it on purpose, as a way to spend more time with you. You shake your head, trying to rid the thought from your mind. ‘Don’t be silly, why would he do that when his job requires him to be in peak physical condition?’ 

You managed to stay professional, for the most part. Cassian made it very hard with all of his flirting. You quickly realised it helped to take his mind off the pain while you were healing him. So, taking a holistic approach, you joined in on his games to help him through it. 

Azriel, on the other hand, was always on his best behaviour. You got to see a side of him that’s usually kept hidden behind his shadows. A soft side. The two of you would talk and talk while you patched him up. You’d chat about everything, new books, music, that new bakery by the Sidra that made the most divine cakes…

Getting on with Cassian and Azriel was easy. What wasn’t easy was battling your growing feelings for both of them. 

————

You’re working on restocking your salves and tonics, humming a song from your village as you grind magical herbs together. You’re interrupted by a sharp knock on the door. “Come in,” you say cheerily, stepping away from the work to greet your visitor. 

The door opens and Cassian enters your small clinic with a bright pink nose and red, puffy eyes. “Y/N, I think I’m dying,” he sniffles. 

You move closer and press your hand against Cassian’s forehead, letting your powers diagnose him.

“I’ve seen you with far worse ailments than allergies, Cassian.”

“You try not being able to breathe and see how you like it,” he responds.

“Take a seat, I was just finishing up a tonic that will help.” You gesture towards the stool on the other side of your workstation and you go back to mixing the tonic. Cassian watches you working in unusual silence. The only sounds in the room are the grinding of your mortar and pestle and the occasional sneeze. 

“Remind me to stock up on this if we ever visit Spring,” you smile, handing Cassian the glass vial. He downs the amber liquid in one big gulp. Within minutes his symptoms start to wane. Cassian stands and lifts you into a big hug, spinning you around. 

“Thank you, you’re a lifesaver, Y/N.” Cassian beams, planting a loud kiss on the top of your head as he sets you on your feet. 

You laugh in response to his affection. “It’s nothing,” you say.

You both turn at the sound of a male cough. “I hope I’m not interrupting anything,” Azriel drawls. 

“Just saving Cassian’s life. Again,” you wink.

“Thanks again Y//N.” Cassian kisses you on the cheek on his way out of the clinic, leaving you alone with the shadow singer.

You scan Azriel’s face. He’s got dark circles under his eyes and a haunted look on his face.

“What can I help you with, Az?” you ask.

“Just some scrapes, I’ve become such a baby since you’ve been around,” he smiles but it doesn't quite reach his eyes. 

“It’s always my pleasure to help.” You turn to look through your jars of salves, grabbing one with numbing properties. 

You turn towards Azriel, motioning for him to take a seat. You grab his hand, your powers doing a quick scan - you can sense he has some minor scraps on his knuckles, but he’s also got something wrong in his chest - your powers can't quite determine what it is. 

You do your best to keep the concern from your face as you start to work the salve into his knuckles. Azriel shuts his eyes as you massage his hands. 

“Az,” you say softly, approaching the topic hesitantly, “is there anything else I should know about?”

He opens his eyes, looking into yours, “like what? I’m fine,” he says.

“You haven't had any pain elsewhere?” You push.

“No, why would I?”

“Well, I don't want to alarm you but my magic has never been wrong before. It’s detected something other than these scrapes…” You point towards his chest, right over his heart, “There’s something wrong here.”

Azriel exhales through his nose, “Oh, that. It’s nothing I can’t handle.’”

You frown at the male, sighing. Illyrians were a stubborn breed, you decided. “Let me know if there’s anything I can do.”

Azriel nods and leaves your clinic, leaving you wondering what worries plague him and what you can do to help. 

————

Azriel continues to mope around for a few days, the dark circles never leaving his face. Not even Mor can get him to smile.

With your worries only increasing, you turn to Rhys and Feyre for some answers. 

You explain what you felt to Rhys, that you knew something was wrong but you couldn’t tell what.

Rhys props his chin on his hand pensively, “Azriel has always had his demons, thank you for bringing this to my attention. Just keep monitoring him and try to get him to talk. I know he feels fondly for you, it may just take him time to open up.” 

You nod, taking in the High Lord’s words. 

Feyre gives you a reassuring shoulder squeeze, “He’ll be alright. He’s got you.”

You give her a meek smile and exit the office, on your way to try and cheer up your friend.

————

“Az!” you call out in the House of Wind, “Where are you?”

He appears down the hall, a flurry of shadows swirling around him and towards you. “Yes, Y/N?” 

“Can you please give me a lift to the city? I’ve got a few things to pick up, and I’m craving something from that bakery.”

Azriel nods, “Sure, are you ready to go now?”

“Sure am, lead the way.”

He scoops you up into his arms like he did the day he rescued you and launches into the sky. The wind rushes past your face and you scream out in joy, loving the exhilarating feeling of soaring through the air. You wrap your arms tighters around Azriel’s neck as he starts to descend.

You land and he places you down gently. ‘Thank you, kind sir,” you say, curtsying. Azriel rolls his eyes but can’t fight the smile creeping onto his face.

You grab his hand and break into a skip down the street, triumphant over your small win - getting a grin out of the spymaster. 

Azriel follows after you, listening intently as you chatter away animatedly. 

As you exit a shop selling different apothecary ingredients you spy a busker on the street playing the fiddle. 

“Oh Az, will you dance with me?” 

Azriel pauses, observing the crowd before taking your extended hand in his. The two of you dance clumsily in the street, letting the music flow through your body. 

As the musician hits the crescendo, Azriel lifts you into the air and spins with you while you laugh loudly and unabashed. When he places you on your feet you notice a small crowd has gathered, they break into applause for both you and the fiddler as the song ends. 

You take Azriel’s hand and make him bow with you. He smiles and shakes his head but humours you. You tip the busker generously and give him a small wave as you continue down the street, still holding onto Azriel’s hand. 

As you approach your favourite bakery - Azriel’s mood has lightened. You can still feel the pain but it has lessened significantly. 

————

With your treats in hand, you make your way to the Sidra and lean against the wrought iron banister edging the river. 

Azriel said he’d get whatever you did - so you opted for two huge brownies with a generous dusting of icing sugar on top.

“These look so good,” you gush, grinning madly at Azriel. 

The slice of cake is so thick that your nose brushes it as you take a bite. You cover your mouth as you chew and swallow. 

“That is amazing,” you moan, turning to Azriel. “How is yours?”

Azriel takes one look at you - with sugar on your nose and chocolate in your teeth and bursts into a deep laugh.

“It’s brilliant, but how have you already made such a mess?” 

“What do you mean?” You ask, “Is there something on my face?” 

“Here let me.” He reaches up and brushes your nose softly, wiping away the sugar. “It’s still all in your teeth though.”

“I’m saving that for later,” you say with a wink and the two of you burst out laughing again. 

Standing so close to Azriel, you can’t help but admire his gorgeous face. And his eyes - there are less shadows in them. 

“Thank you for today,” Azriel says quietly, brushing a stray hair out of your face. “You’re good at that.”

“Good at what?”

“Knowing what I need.” He smiles, “Come on,” he beckons with his head, “Let's get back home before you make more of a mess of yourself.”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *

Tags ♡ @littlestw01f @impossibelle @dream-alittlebiggerdarling @the-wall-willow @xasael @lilah-asteria @saltedcoffeescotch @mybestfriendmademe

[thetarttfuldickhead]

Apart from everything else, I think Jamie was pretty damned understimulated at the Dogtrack during his first stint there. He’s come from City, where standards are sky-high and regiments strict, to Richmond, which is, in his own words, tragic. The other players are not up to his level, the legendary captain is checked-out, the first manager middling and the second a rodeo clown, and sure Jamie gets to be the star of the team and he fucking loves that, but he’s also supposed to be learning isn’t he, and he’s… not? Getting a bunch of game time, absolutely, and that’s important, but…

And let’s be clear, Jamie is doing absolutely nothing to improve the sad state of affairs at Richmond; rather, he makes matters considerably worse, with his selfishness and belittling of others – but at the time he isn’t perceptive enough to realize that, and is just pissed that the others are dragging him down, even as he’s thrilled at being the best. And like a lot of gifted kids when they’re not being properly challenged, he gets with the old acting out bit. (And he’s a prick. Like, that is also very much something that’s going on with him at the time. I won’t stand for us brushing that aside, even as we acknowledge that there’s a lot more going on with him even in season 1.)

I don’t think Roy’s really seeing it back then; he’s far too annoyed with Jamie and far too caught up in his depression to pay proper attention to shit like that. But say he travels back in time and gets dumped before Jamie’s shipped back to Manchester… it’d take him, what, three minutes of watching training to figure out that Jamie is bored out of his mind and pissed off about it? And it’d take him another 30 seconds to decide to fuck it, I’m sorting this out, and start coaching Jamie specifically, stepping in to show where and how he can improve and setting a bunch of demanding challenges to make sure the muppet’s properly engaged and working hard. He makes an effort to compliment and encourage Jamie more than the would back in his own time, too, because he understands that he doesn’t really have a proper rapport with this Tartt yet and figures it’s best to build him up while also setting down some very much needed boundaries visavi Jamie’s treatment of others…

If everyone’s surprised by Roy’s behaviour, they’re fucking shellshocked when Jamie, after some initial what-the-fuck-ness, responds positively to the attention, advice and frankly mad stuff Roy has him doing. He’s still a prick, sure, still has issues, but mostly he’s too busy and too exhausted (and let’s be real, too high on having Roy Kent’s undivided attention) to cause too much trouble.

Honestly, Roy is quite surprised himself that things are going so smoothly, but also lowkey furious, because was it really always that easy to sort the little prick out? (Roy’s not giving himself and his own development enough credit here, by the way; it’s reasonably easy for him now, after the work he’s done on himself and the ways he’s grown and gotten to know Jamie, but it wouldn’t have been easy for him then, even if he’d tried.) Then again, it’s not all smooth sailing either, because Jamie is still in his prick era and has not actually agreed to let Roy boss him around, so sometimes he pushes back and Roy had actually forgotten how bloody infuriating Jamie can be when he decides to. But yeah, all in all, it works a treat.

[genshin-squabbles-and-wobbles]

i would like to request a yandere scenario but oh no it's really really sad. if you can, i would want to see yandere kazuha, childe, tighnari like regretting breaking reader. like reader keeps getting hurt by the yanderes until they feel nothing and at first the yanderes didn't mind it thinking they were obeying them but then they start feeling guilty for breaking you because now you aren't expressing any emotions, no matter what they do.

all in all, very very angst at the end

<3

OMG I LOVE THIS ANSGDYNRDRINWONGHer. You going make me cause drama for no reason and go in my emo phase and it will be all MY FAULT. And yours too, but mostly mine. Trigger Warning: Vomiting, force feeding, Privacy violation, Not eating, and etc of that nature.

Kazuha ╭── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅──── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅─ ⋅ ⋅──╮

You were once a free spirited person, wild, and challenged the world. Nothing could shake you. You were fierce and rebellious. You had fire in your eyes Now Kazuha was staring at your lifeless body, as you sat on the bed staring at nothing, with a chain collar and leash on your neck attached to the wall. Kazuha had a fear of losing you, ever since he lost his precious friend to Raiden Shogun. He saw how wild you were, as his anxieties got the best of him. Kazuha restricted you, to where you went, how you got there, he would lose his temper on you if you did anything rash or reckless.

Everyday, he would fight with you. Everyday, he would take a piece of you one by one, in front of your face, with his own hands. Your childhood friend who was a man, that you were *way* too close with? Gone. Doesn’t matter how, or why. Gone. Your family who is taking way too much of your time? Gone. Your pets that you admit that you would drop anything for...indirectly including him? Gone. However Kazuha fell in love with the rebellious free spirited person you were, you fought alongside him, taught him new tricks in battle, you were incredibly agile and intelligent. Well..not anymore. Kazuha stared at your lifeless body, as you were alive, but you weren’t responding. Your eyes were greyed out, you refused to even digest food, as when Kazuha tried to feed you, it just fell out of your mouth. Kazuha wiped your mouth, and coo'd you. "Come on my love, you desperately need to eat. I can’t stand you losing so much weight this fast. Don’t make me shove this down now..." Kazuha, frustrated with himself, with you with the idea that everything will be the same after everything he had done, he cried on your lap. However, you felt nothing but a warm lump of weight.

Childe ╔══ ❀•°❀°•❀ ════ ❀•°❀°•❀ ════ ❀•°❀°•❀ ══════╗

Childe had you locked up in a small cage, all of it decorated in pink and cute attire. However...that dead face of yours didn’t go along with the theme. You were dressed in pink and purples. The cage was beautifully decorated, as you were a little princess in her little cage. However, you used to be a tomboy who hated girly clothing. You loved fighting, you loved challenges, you loved eating. You were incredibly independent, and the part that bothered Childe the most, is that you had a generous amount of male friends. You liked male friends as company, as it served better than female. They understood you, and your style.

Childe was someone with quite a temper when it was triggered. And it was triggered a lot when he sees your hand on their shoulder, back, and even hand. No matter how many times, he had threatened your friends with his glare, balde, his "devoted loving" eyes, nothing seemed to work. He had to do it. It was either he murdered all of them, however of course you didn’t want that. So, he was left with no choice but to betray your trust and carrying you into a cage while you sleep. He placed heating pads in there for course. Along with pillows. Of course, he would feed you three meals a day, He would always feed you your favorite meals. He would bathe you, dress you and of course he refused to let you use the bathroom so...there were other alternatives to that. However, everyday, your privacy was violated, no matter how much you scream to ask him to stop, respect your boundaries, let you go, However, he just continues to take care of you, way past your comfort. You begged him to let you go, let you have your friends back, your life. You hated all the pretty things he forced you to wear because he wanted you to be his one and only princess. However, all of that is too late, as he stared at you, pale, lifeless, leaning against the cage bars. You no longer complained or screamed. You no longer cared. You became a shell of yourself. The cage is all you knew. You didn’t even look at anything anymore. The world around you were hollow and disconnected. "Don't look at me like that...you asked for this! You wanted this! I had no..I had no choice..." Childe spoke in a stern and angry voice, however, the tears streaming down his face couldn’t mask the regret in his voice.

Tighnari └── •✧• ──── •✧• ──── •✧• ────•✧• ──┘

Tighnari was angrily force feeding you hypericum perforatum with frustration, as you lay there. None of his medicines and herbs were working. This herb was specifically meant to treat your mental state, more so, assumingly your depression. However, you were beyond depression. You were b̷̢̐ṟ̷̹͂̇o̵͍̤͆͆̉̎k̴̗̝̆̑͊̚è̶̟͖̺̓̅̈́n̵͎̣͌̀̇͜. So no form of treatment can really help you, can they? Despite Tighnari knowing this, he was still trying to force feed you this herb, hoping you can be as cheerful and happy as you used to be. However, there was nothing. There was nothing but vomit around him, as when force feeding you, your body would only make you vomit the contents out on him. Tighnari screamed in frustrated, as he cupped your face as tried to coo'd you. "Why...Why are you like this? I just did what was best for us! You can’t keep doing this forever! You are supposed to by my happy little flower forever!" He complained and looked into your dead eyes. You were just a wonderful gardener, who loved plants, who loved trees. You loved the green nature, and you grew them as you please. You were such a gentle women. You were kind, funny, and you always were laughing and smiling. You had a proficiency in making medicine, and poison. However, you created medicines to help travelers and townspeople. Despite Sumeru having free health care, you wanted to help those who were unfortunate. Tighnari fell in love with that. He wanted you very badly. And just when he got you in his arms, you went limp. He got too greedy. He was constantly scolding you. He wanted to grow your gardens only for him, and make medicines only for him. He wanted all this to himself. He wanted you, his precious flower, to himself. He got too greedy, and locked you in his house. He wanted you to satisfy his needs and his only. Funny how that worked out for him, huh?

[freedomfireflies]

iFall for Harry pt. 9

Summary: The ninth part to iFall for Harry

Turns out, destiny has other plans for you and Harry.

And you're taking a trip...back to the future.

Word Count: 2.2k

Grieving Harry is linear.

The moment the call goes dead, so does your connection to him.

Your heightened emotions dwindle down to nothingness. Your memories, your pain, your past. Every cheese pun, every sexy text, every word from his lips.

You erase them all.

You shut out a majority of the world. Revert back to a state of mind where you refuse to trust or engage with anyone. You protect yourself. Punish yourself for letting him get away. For being so broken. For being everything he doesn’t want.

And for making him everything you do.

You don’t work through the problem. You don’t even allow yourself to admit there is a problem. You simply tuck him away into the darkest corner of your mind…and you forget him.

Your friends are worried about you. They reach out, they plan dates, they arrange sleepovers. 

You decline them all.

You stay in your apartment, and you watch old reruns of The Big Bang Theory, and you pretend to laugh at the jokes you’ve heard a hundred times before. 

But most importantly, you pretend like Harry didn’t mention this was one of his comfort shows and that that’s why you’re watching it.

Two weeks go by. Nothing changes for you. You’re still a hollow version of yourself. Dedicating each day to wondering why you couldn’t have just…gotten over your fear. Gotten over what happened to you. And just…let him in.

Your therapist tries to tell you that healing takes time. Trauma lives within the body and no amount of cute boys and perfect scenarios will change that. Until you learn to forgive yourself, you will always be stuck.

 She might be right. But unsticking yourself now doesn’t bring him back.

Occasionally you’ll hear that he’s doing well. He’s on tour. He’s booked a new movie. He’s been caught making out with a model.

But it falls on deaf ears. Passes right through you like air. You’re indifferent now. Choosing to pretend as if he never existed to you.

Now he’s just that famous guy nobody will shut up about.

But on those late nights, when the fragility of your heart slips the crack of your apathetic persona…you pull up his contact.

You have it blocked. Nearly deleted it countless times so you’d lose the temptation to memorize his number and find a way to reach him.

Still, you can’t resist typing out a message. You’ll pour out your heart, write him paragraphs of apologies and explanations. You’ll wish for things to go back. Wish for his happiness. Wish for everything.

And then, you’ll hit the delete button.

Erase everything you want to say, exit out of his information, and turn your phone off.

You almost don’t see the email.

You’re going through your inbox, cleaning it out, responding here and there. But mostly rifling through all the ads so you can delete them and create a bit more space.

The name Marty McFly is what catches your eye. And despite yourself…you click.

Back to the Future! One Night Only! Buy your tickets now!

Your local theater is doing a triple feature, one movie each night for the next three days. You almost don’t consider it. Almost click out of the advertisement and move on.

But then you think of Harry. Think of how you promised to take him, and your heart sinks a little as you stare at the painted poster of Michael J. Fox standing in front of the time traveling car while staring at his watch.

You decide to go. It’ll be nice to watch something that fills you with so much joy. It’ll be good to laugh again. And to revel in the opportunity to forget, at least for a couple of hours.

You think about it for the rest of the week. Countdown the days until you can finally make your way for the theater. 

It feels good to go out again. Feels good to have the sunshine on your face and the promise of a good time ahead of you.

When you slide up to the booth, you’re wearing a smile. A real, genuine smile.

“Hi! Can I get one ticket to the five o’clock showing?” you ask the ticket taker, who nods and accepts your cash.

With that, you’re waved through the doors, and your heart begins to pound. The smell of popcorn and promise washes over each sense as you grab your snacks, and look for your specific door.

After slipping your way inside, you take a look around the darkened theater.

However, the room is empty. At least a hundred seats without a single soul to use them.

Your brows furrow. “The hell is everyone?”

You walk along the aisle, looking for the best seat until you decide on the middle chair about halfway back. 

Snuggling down with your popcorn, you settle in, and wait for the opening credits. Truth be told, you feel a bit odd to be taking up a whole theater by yourself, and you have to wonder if perhaps you got the date wrong. Or maybe the time? Maybe you’re early? Although according to your clock, the movie should be starting any second now.

And then…someone else walks in.

You release a relieved breath as the dark shadow strides along the aisle similar to how you had, looking for a seat as well. Selfishly, you hope they don’t get too close.

Then, they turn down your row.

Shit.

Returning your focus to the dark screen, you pretend not to notice, instead studying the velvet red curtain that’s draping on either side.

The stranger stops right beside you.

Assuming that they’d like to pass by, you glance over, and begin to pull your legs in.

You make the mistake of looking up.

And your heart instantly sinks to the soles of your shoes.

Harry.

“Hi. S’this seat taken?”

The sound of his voice makes your stomach drop to your toes. Even in the dark, you can make out the familiar slope of his nose and sharp curve of his jaw.

You don’t know what to say. Don’t know if he recognizes you or if he knows what he’s even doing.

Either way, you swallow thickly, and nod once.

He smiles.

After settling down into the chair beside you, he sighs, and wiggles back into his seat to get comfortable.

You try not to look at him. Try to pretend like you can’t smell his expensive cologne wafting toward you. Try to pretend as though his hand isn’t right there, dangling over the armrest as if taunting you.

And then, the movie begins.

You try to get lost into the world of Marty and Doc. A world you’re already so familiar with.

But it’s nearly impossible with the way he continues to shift, or laugh, or snort beside you. As if trying to distract you.

You have half a mind to turn to him and hiss, “Shhhh.” 

Somehow…you resist.

“Doc…are you telling me…that you built a time machine…out of a DeLorean?”

Harry laughs beside you, chin resting in the palm of his hand, and for some reason…your chest swells with pride. 

You want him to enjoy this movie. Enjoy the lines you used to memorize as a kid. Want to be able to talk about it with him after and exchange favorite moments.

But the second you start to indulge in this fantasy…you remember.

And your smile quickly slips.

The rest of the movie is spent with your focus glued to the screen. You don’t sneak any extra glances. You don’t listen for his sounds. You don’t allow your peripheral to catch him. 

And when the infamous car flies toward the camera before disappearing in a flash as the title card explodes across the screen, you jump to your feet.

You don’t waste another goddamn second. You get up, you turn on your heel, and you book it toward the middle aisle.

“Wait…wait,” you hear Harry murmur as the dramatic score carries you out of the theater. “Ladybug, wait.”

The nickname nearly makes you flinch as you slip through the door and rush for the lobby. You can tell he’s following after you, the sound of the seats flipping up as he pushes by following you out.

You nearly reach the double doors before his large hand wraps around your upper arm and yanks you back. 

“Hey,” he murmurs, brows furrowed as your eyes meet his chest.

You can’t look at him.

“Listen, I know you wanna go, but I just need to talk to you for one second,” he continues, but his fingers won’t leave you. “Please.”

Your heart is hammering inside your ears. You can’t seem to look anywhere else but the buttons on his shirt.

It’s quiet for a long time.

Then, you nod.

He takes a deep breath. “Listen, I know…I know why this shouldn’t work. I understand the mechanics, and the difficulties, and the issues. I get it. It shouldn’t work.”

A beat of silences settles between you as you apprehensively allow yourself to travel your gaze up.

“…but it does,” he whispers, and your mouth goes dry. “It works, and I don’t know how, and I don’t know why. But I can’t fucking let you go and it’s driving me up the goddamn wall.”

You don’t know what to do. What to say, what to think.

“I don’t want to let you go,” he continues. “I don’t want to block you or remove you. I don’t want to miss you. Or have to remember you as just some fucking thing that happened. I want to talk to you. Wanna send you pictures of the sky and play games with you. Wanna watch TV and bitch about Sheldon with you. Wanna beg you to let me come just to have you do that little smirky thing you do that makes my fucking stomach flip.”

You take a deep breath. And then another. And then another, but nothing helps. Nothing seems to unwind this knot that’s growing tighter with each confession. 

“I can’t wrap my head around you,” he says, and his voice is heavy. And confused. Almost as lost as his expression. “I can’t wrap my head around this—us. I just…I fucking try to think about anything else and it always comes back to you. Every goddamn time.”

You know there are tears in your eyes. You wish there weren’t but they’re coming faster than you can stop them.

“And I know why you’re nervous,” he sighs, squeezing your arm once. “I know. And I can’t fix it, and I really fucking wish I could, but I…god, I’ll do anything to make your future better than your past. I will do anything…to keep you, Cheese Girl. Whatever it takes, whatever you want. Name it, and it's yours.”

“I don’t want you to do anything, Har,” you nearly whimper, head shaking quickly. “I never wanted you to feel responsible for my shit—”

“I don’t. I don’t, I just…you can’t carry this alone. And I can help you—”

“But why should you? You have your own life, and your own trauma, and you deserve the fairytale ending—”

“Ladybug,” he breathes, cutting you short. “We met over text and now we’re here in a movie theater while I profess my adoration for you. Tell me how this isn’t a fairytale.”

Despite yourself…you smile. “Yeah, how…how did you even know I’d be here?”

He releases you now, but only so he can grimace and run a hand through his curls. “Okay, don’t…don’t judge me, but I just…I paid them a shit ton of money to let me rent out the building for…a day or two.”

“A day or two?”

“Well…I wasn’t sure if you’d see the email in time, so I had to keep sending it until you came—”

You rear back. “You sent the email?”

His nose scrunches. “I was desperate, all right? You had me blocked, and I figured you wouldn’t agree to meeting.”

Your lashes flutter as you work in this new information. “Shit, Har. That’s…that’s a lot of work to go through just for one person you barely know.”

He suddenly surges forward, palms pressing to your cheeks until he can take hold of your face and tilt it up. “You’re worth it. My god, Cheesy, are you worth it.”

“Cheesy?” you repeat incredulously, but your smile is big. “God that’s…”

“…cheesy?” he finishes for you. “About as cheesy as renting out a theater in hopes that the girl I like will show up and take me back?”

You nod quickly, lip between your teeth. “Yeah, but…cheese is kind of our thing.”

“It is,” he agrees, chuckling to himself as he pulls you closer, your chest brushing with his. “Listen, I can’t…I know this isn’t some sort of magic fix. But please…please let me try. Just…just let me keep you. For a little bit at least. Let me make all those puns worth it.”

Maybe you know better. Maybe this is a horrible idea. Maybe every red flag is waving wildly in your face.

And maybe…you just don’t care.

“What if I’m your destiny?” he finishes, and your heart just about breaks. “Or…density.”

You both laugh as he catches a stray tear that travels down your cheek, eyes pleading with yours. 

And when you offer the subtlest of nods…everything changes.

He kisses you before you can take a breath, his lips warm and full of promise.

You stand there in the middle of the lobby, trapped in his arms as the soft sounds of Back to the Future play on in the background.

Maybe he is your destiny after all.

One more part 🥹 Will be sobbing violently

Dedicated to @nof0odallowed for the original ask! 💞

Next Part:

~iFall for Harry pt. 10* (Final)

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~ iFall for Harry pt. 8

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Taglist:

@walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @keepdrivingkisses @swiftmendeshoran @tiredinwinter @cherryshouse @lydiarry @justlemmeadoreyou @tiaamberxx @yoruse

[captjprice]

What about ghost with an s/o who's just as stoic and closed off (mostly with strangers but more open than him in a relationship) as he is and always looks so done with everything, mostly quiet and only gives one word answers or no answer at all, sarcastic or gives a side eye when someone makes a stupid comment and has a dark sense of humor but they're actually very sweet and gentle once you get to know them???:)

Simon "Ghost" Riley x reader

A/n: I am finally getting to requests ugh

Mentions: fluff, sfw, Simon is scared shitless by romance, angst(?????), but not really

Intimidated wasn't really the word Simon would use in this case, because Simon Riley did not get intimidated.

Yet, he felt a bit odd seeing you. He wasn't sure what to think of you. All of the others in the taskforce were like an open book— So open and friendly, so unlike him. And then there you were, cleaning your gun with an expression on your face that told everyone to promptly fuck off.

Price had noticed you weren't.. falling in the group that smoothly, just like Simon hadn't at first. He assured everyone you were a delight to work with.

Simon wasn't so sure of that, but still, he decided to join you, cleaning his gun as he sat down next to you. Kyle was rummaging around as well, eyeing you. "You two look extra jolly today," he snorts. You don't reply, only looking up at him with a glare. He seems to understand the message, clearing his throat and giving nod. Simon raises a brow, glancing over at you.

He wasn't sure why, but Simon was so incredibly intrigued with you— you barely spoke, and when you did, it was the kind of comment only you could laugh at, and occasionally Simon too. He didn't really notice it himself, but everywhere you were he wouldn't be far behind, trying to start conversation.

It was uncanny, how badly he wanted to talk to you. He wanted to know everything about you, while ofcourse keeping himself at a safe distance.

The bar has flooded empty, leaving only you and some other taskforce members in a quiet booth. It's another late night of celebrations, and you, for once, haven't drunk yourself wasted. You gaze over the booth, watching the other men laugh, occasionally patting each others arm or back.

But Simon also seems to be sober, watching over the others with an almost tired look in his gaze. When your eyes meet, you give a soft smile. The others won't remember much of the evening, let alone you smiling at someone.

Your sudden expression makes Simon's eyes widen a little, especially because all you've been up to now was an isolated grump. He shifts, then gives a nod. When your eyes don't budge from him, he stands, awkwardly shuffling past the others to sit down next to you. "Awful lot, aren't they?" He asks gruffly. You give a nod, sipping your drink and clearing your throat. "And I thought it was bad when they were sober." You say, smiling. "Well, believe me, it can get even worse than this. This is only when they're tipsy." His words make you let out a hearty chuckle, and he smiles in amusement at it. You're not as half as bad as he thought you'd be.

"I have a feeling by the time they're completely drunk, I'll be at home nice and warm in my bed." You state, giving his arm a slight nudge. "Why's that? Not into celebrations?" Simon asks, his eyes focused on you. You shake your head. "I only drink if I want to be miserable." Now it's his turn to laugh, even though it's only a quiet chuckle.

That evening replayed in his mind, you had been so friendly, so approachable that he was wondering why he hadn't talked to you earlier.

"Hard at work, I see." You retort with a little chuckle, watching Simon gaze at the wall with unfinished reports in front of him. He clears his throat, looking at you. He'd get so lost in his head sometimes..

When he doesn't respond, you step closer. "You okay, Simon?" Your voice is so soft now, nothing compared to how you'd bark orders or remark comments sometimes. He gives a little nod, trying to ignore how his chest aches at your sweet tone. "Yeah." Simon glances at you, seeing you holding coffee. You'd made it a habit over some time now to bring him some whenever you could. "That for me?"

You nod, setting it down. "You should take a break, Si." The nickname makes him perk up. "Just not my day today. It's fine." Somehow, you don't really believe him. "Are you sure? I'm here for you. I'd like to think we're friends. Friends do that for eachother."

You're being too sweet, all of a sudden. What happened to you glaring at him, rolling your eyes? He shakes his head, waving you off. "It's fine. I have work to do."

He comes back to his barracks that evening to a little note from you, slid under the door with your number and a little heart on it.

[weirdgenetic-fuckup]

Secrets in Love

A/n: No one asked for this, did anyone besides me even want this? I don't know, but it exists now and it is quite possibly the longest one I've written.

Warnings: Angst, blood, enemies to lovers, omegaverse au, reader goes on a date with a creepy guy and he follows her around a bit, smut, unprotected p in v, slight breeding kink (it's not mentioned but it's kind of hinted to?), marking, if you think I missed anything please let me know otherwise enjoy <3

James went to your high school and you hated him. It wasn’t that you really hated him, he just seemed to hate you. Always picking on you, stealing your food, poking fun at you whenever he saw the chance. Your weekends were your escape from him and you took that time very seriously.

You’d run a bubble bath, set up candles and everything.

You were just getting out when you heard a knock on the door. It was persistent and loud, of course no one else was home so you had to run down in a bathrobe to answer it.

On the other side was James, drenched from the rain with blood soaked into his clothes, but that wasn’t the most catching feature he had. Fluffy dog ears and a tail protruded from him. You stared at him wide eyed for a moment before he spoke up.

“C-can I come in..? P-please..?” His voice was shaky and weak, his heart beating fast and he was short of breath. You nodded silently and let him in.

He walked straight past you and went to crash on your couch. You followed him, grabbing the first aid kit your family kept in the kitchen on your way. You knelt beside him, pulling up his shirt to see the damage. Wounds on either side of his torso, blood spilling out and seeping into your couch. You ran to get a clean cloth, returning a few moments later with a bowl of warm water to clean him off with.

James winced with every stroke but soon you had him mostly cleaned off, enough for you to bandage him up. He stayed laying down as it was comfortable and he didn’t want to risk sitting up. You stayed beside him, watching over him. You couldn’t keep your gaze from falling to his ears and tail though...

“I know what you’re thinking.” He muttered, staring up at the ceiling. You didn’t respond and continued to eye him nervously. “You can touch them if you want.” You looked to his eyes to make sure he was being genuine. In his blue eyes you saw pain, and a wistful anger. Vulnerability.

Hesitantly, you reached out for the fluffy golden ears poking out of his big hair. He closed his eyes and let out a heavy breath as you started petting his ears. “So,” you started, “you’re, like, a werewolf..?” James chuckled softly, a smile playing on his lips.

“Not a werewolf, a hybrid.” He said. You remembered seeing a new island that had been discovered not too long ago. It had been inhabited by human-like creatures with animalistic features, from what people had seen they had the ability to turn completely into animals or humans whenever they pleased.

You hadn’t paid much attention to it, it was far away and didn’t affect you. Right? That’s when James turned up at your school to make your life hell...

You sat next to James as he explained what had really happened, how people came and boarded them onto boats, shipping families apart and ruining everything. You felt for him, really, but that didn’t change the fact that he treated you like shit.

“What happened to your family?” You asked, hand still rubbing his soft ears. James opened his eyes finally and looked at you.

“I was fortunate.” He said. “They were gone long before you people came.” You had expected him to say something about how they’d managed to end up together. Not that.

“Oh.” You pulled your hand back. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”

“How would you?” You shrugged. You paused a moment before standing up and walking to the kitchen. “Where are you going?” James called, leaning back on his arms so he could watch you, you could only imagine the discomfort given his expression.

“I’m just getting something to eat.” He nodded and laid back down. You stepped into the kitchen and paused again, going back to see him. “What do you eat?” He stared at you for a moment. “Like, do you need dog food or something?” James laughed at that.

“Anything’s fine, just don’t give me salad.” You nodded in understanding.

“Is it bad for you?” You asked, wanting to understand him the best you could.

“No.” He said, shaking his head. “I just hate it.” You rolled your eyes and went back to the kitchen to get him something to eat.

The TV was on but you weren’t really watching it, too busy thinking about the events of the night. James lay across the couch while you were on the floor in front of him, both of you had something to eat.

“Where are your parents?” James asked, breaking the almost silence.

You looked at him over your shoulder. “On a work trip, they won’t be back for a few weeks.” You explained. James nodded. “Don’t worry, you’ll have plenty of time to rest on my couch.” James smiled and went back to eating. You weren’t sure what you would tell your parents when they saw the bloodstains on the couch. You might just have to replace it.

James was asleep before you even finished eating, he’d devoured his own food and was snoring happily, nose twitching occasionally. He was on his side with pillows supporting him. His tail lay over him. It was big, fluffy. The prettiest yellow colour. You couldn’t help yourself and reached over to touch it.

The odd appendage began to sway slightly, a sign that he was enjoying your touch. So you kept petting him. Soon his tail was thumping against the couch.

He twitched occasionally but you thought nothing of it. Until he grabbed your hand. You hadn’t realised he’d awoken. “Sorry, I shouldn’t’ve...” You trailed off as he brought your hand to his face, giving it a sniff before he licked a trail over the back of your palm.

His tongue was weird. Neither totally human nor totally dog. It was thinner, flatter and very smooth. You stared at him a moment longer. “What are you doing?” You asked, finally.

James looked at you, his eyes drowsy. “Smell good.” He mumbled, holding your hand loosely in his.

You pulled your hand away. “Alright, well, I’ll be in my room upstairs if you need me.” You said awkwardly as you stood up. He was asleep before you even left the room, snoring soundly once again.

You woke up but it felt like a dream. It was still dark, odd since you were a heavy sleeper, usually sleeping straight through the night. There was a weight at your feet, warm and shifting. You turned the lamp on your nightstand on and looked down to find a furry lump at the end of your bed.

“James?” You asked, your voice groggy from sleep. You kicked him gently, trying to shake him awake. Slowly you were met with the head of a golden retriever, his own sleepy eyes looking into yours. “What are you doing?” You watched as the dog got off the bed, James suddenly appearing in its place. He didn’t have a shirt on, he hadn’t since you’d bandaged him up. His jeans were undone and sagging, you figured he was uncomfortable in them.

Thinking about it, sleeping as a dog must be more comfortable for him. No need to worry about a blanket or pillow, you could just find an open space on the floor and crash.

James crawled onto the bed again, getting under the blankets and curling up behind you. He threw an arm around you and pulled you close to him. “Go back to sleep.” He grumbled.

You didn’t know what to do. Earlier today you hated him, part of you still did. Now his arm was around you and he was breathing down your neck, in a pleasant way. You reached over and turned the light off again, relaxing into James and falling asleep.

James awoke the next morning and stretched out, his eyes screwed shut as his joints cracked. He let out a heavy sigh until your scent hit his nose. His eyes snapped open when he realised where he was, your bed alone.

He raced out of your room and down the stairs to find you in the kitchen making pancakes. You looked over at him when you heard him flying down the stairs. “Smell of pancakes get you up?” You teased.

James breathed a sigh of relief and came over to you. “Yeah, something like that.” He wrapped his arms around your waist. You tensed at the feeling and flipped the last of the pancakes onto a plate so you could bring them over to the dining table. James let go of you but followed close behind.

“What are you doing today?” You asked when you’d gotten settled, each of you having a plate of sweet food, James’ stack significantly higher than yours.

James shrugged. “What are you doing?”

“I have a date.” James dropped his fork.

“What?” His eyes bore into yours with a new found hatred.

A shaky breath left you. “A date.” You repeated. You were waiting for the old James to shine through. The only difference was there was more of a danger if he tried to hurt you, you were alone and he was stronger than you initially thought.

“I heard you the first time,” he said, “I just mean how?”

You poked at your food. “Despite what you think, people actually like me.” James huffed but didn’t say anything more and you ate in silence.

Getting ready for your date James hovered over you the whole time, commenting on every outfit you looked at. “I can’t show up naked!” You groaned. James huffed again and pushed you aside, digging through your closet for a moment before pulling out an outfit that matched his style much more closely to yours. An old band shirt your dad gave you that you only wore when doing something where you could get dirty and a pair of blue jeans.

He tossed them on the floor and crossed his arms over his chest, waiting expectantly for you to put it on. You gestured for him to turn away from you and he did, staring blankly into the closet until you were ready to show him the outfit. You gave him a spin and he gave a small nod in approval, though he still didn’t look pleased.

You stood at the door, bag in hand. “Are you fine to stay here until I come back?” James stared at you a little dumbfounded.

“Until you come back?” He repeated. “You’re leaving me to go on a date?”

“Did you think you were coming with me?” You asked in a shocked tone. James didn’t reply, only crossed his arms and looked away. You scoffed and rolled your eyes before leaving, locking the door behind you.

You were having a good time. Your date was going well but it was awkward. You’d gone to school with this guy for a while but he seemed so creepy all of a sudden. You made sure to stay in open spaces with lots of people around, though he kept trying to lead you off somewhere more secluded.

At some point you just had to call it off and go home but he didn’t leave you alone, trailing behind you as you walked. You couldn’t go home now, you didn’t want to call the cops because that would mean stopping. You just had to keep walking in circles until he fucked off, and you knew he didn’t plan on doing so anytime soon.

In a panic you turned a corner onto a small street, not blocked away from the busier streets but there weren’t many people there. You knew your mistake immediately but you couldn’t turn back, so you kept walking.

The street spilled into many alleyways, each one worse than the last. At the end it led out to another busier street so you sped up. Naturally, you started walking closer to the right until you were pulled into one of the alley’s. You mentally cursed yourself over and over again, rethinking every part of your life. You weren’t sure what to do now.

That’s when you heard it.

That familiarly warm and vile tone.

“Are you ok?” James asked as he looked down at you, his bright blue eyes now clouded with something you weren’t quite sure how to label. It was a mix of so many things but beneath it all you found comfort in it.

You gave a small nod. You felt a hand on your shoulder and snapped your head back to see your date. “Sorry, we got a little lost.” He said calmly while you tensed under his touch. You looked back to James as if asking for help. If not for yesterday you would’ve been even more scared having found him here. There was a fury in his eyes you’d never seen before, you didn’t question it when he pushed you to the side.

You wanted to run, and you did. You ran until you were surrounded by people again, and then you kept running, your last view of the two being James’ fluffy features making another appearance.

You hadn’t told him where you were going, even then you’d walked pretty far from the original destination. How James found you was a mystery, you couldn’t be happier that he did nonetheless.

It was already getting dark by the time you got home and you went straight to the bathroom to run yourself a bath, needing to take extra good care of yourself after the hectic last couple hours.

Candles, smelling salts, bubbles, roses, the whole nine yards and more. You got into your favourite pyjamas and watched a marathon of your favourite comfort movies after getting yourself snacks.

When it got late you double checked all your locks and shut all the blinds before crawling into bed, leaving the light on your nightstand on since you didn’t feel quite safe in the dark. It made it harder to fall asleep but at least you could sleep.

Late into the night you heard rustling and it spooked you awake, jumping up in your bed. It was muffled and coming from outside, which relaxed you a bit but not a lot.

Then you heard knocking on your window and you jumped out of bed and rushed to your door. There was no phone in your room, the closest was in your parents and you regretted not bringing it in with you earlier.

Another knock.

This time you looked back, you weren’t sure why you did but when you did you saw James clinging to the tree outside. You breathed a heavy sigh of relief and went over to let him in. “Why didn’t you use the fucking door?” You asked while he crawled in.

“Would you have answered?” He asked as he fell onto the floor with a thud, he didn’t seem bothered by it in the slightest and got up, ears and tail on full display now. You thought about it and no, no you wouldn’t have.

“Still, that was creep-” You didn’t get to finish your sentence as James’ lips crashed into yours, his arms wrapping around you and pulled you close to him. You froze for a moment before kissing him back, but then you stopped again and pulled away. “Wait, James, what are you-?” Again you were interrupted by a kiss.

“Please.” He said in almost a growl against your lips. You told yourself to pull away but you also didn’t want to. You liked it when he pulled you closer, when his big hands squeezed your sides as he pushed you around or groped your chest and ass. You liked how his tongue felt against yours, how he tasted and the way he bit your lips.

You loved every part of it, all the way down to how he laid over you on your bed. The noises coming out of him were animalistic desire in its purest form and you couldn’t get enough of it. He was quick to rid you both of your clothes, not wasting any time in prepping your hole as you were already wet and loose for him to sink into your sweet heat. You let out a moan as he pushed into you, his big dick forming a bulge on your abdomen.

James kept kissing you all over, using his arms to hold himself up and cage you in under him. There was barely enough room for atoms to exist between your two bodies as he fucked you, pistoning his hips in and out of you at a harsh pace.

The room filled with your high-pitched moans and his low grunts which fell right into your ears. He was breathing so heavy, like panting but with a gruffness to it. You gripped onto him tightly, nails digging into his shoulders, sure to leave scratches.

His sides were still bandages and you were sure the wounds were bugging him right now, parts of them were peeling off from his sweat. But he was relentless, continuously bucking his hips into yours.

“You’re so fucking perfect.” He grunted in your ear. “You’re fucking mine, ya hear? No more dates with fuckers like him.” You didn’t trust your voice so you nodded, a whine leaving you.

James’ lips trailed down from your ear to your jaw, down your neck before stopping at the crook of your neck, right where it meets your shoulder. “Mine.” He growled again before biting down on you.

You let out a noise that was a mix between a moan and a scream. It hurt, his canines digging into your skin, blood seeping out. You repeatedly hit his back to get him to stop but he didn’t budge, relishing in the way you squirmed, or was it the pleasure he derived from your pain? You couldn’t say, it didn’t matter, whatever the reason he wasn’t letting go.

Even with the pain he made you feel so fucking good, hitting all the right spots and stretching you out like you’d never imagined and sending you over the edge. Your head fell back, eyes rolling into your head as your body went limp under James, pleasure rocking through your hot body in waves.

Still, James didn’t stop, now on a hunt for his own pleasure. Or, was that all he was looking for?

He rut into you a few more times before cumming deep inside you, hot cum filling you to the brim as if James hadn’t already accomplished that. It was only then that he unclasped his jaw from your fragile, broken skin and started licking the wound clean. His partly dog-like tongue was soothing and it no longer hurt as bad.

James didn’t pull out of you. Instead, he rolled onto his bed and pulled you on top of him, making sure to keep you nice and stuffed full of him and his seed, his arms wrapped neatly around your waist while your head rested on his chest.

You looked up at him, mind foggy and body muggy. You smiled tiredly and reached up to pet his ears. He let out the sweetest moan when you did. “You should’ve told me you liked that sooner.” You teased with a soft giggle, still scratching his ears and playing with his hair.

James smiled but didn’t look at you, too tired to lift his head. “I was busy.” You laughed at that.

“Yeah, my neck noticed.” You sighed. “I’m gonna have to wear turtlenecks for months because of you.” James’ head suddenly shot up at that, a confused look on his face, bordering hurt.

“No you don’t?” It came out as a question but you knew it was an order.

“James, my parents will kill me if they see this.” You said, taking your hand off his head and pointing to the small gashes at the base of your neck.

James shook his head. “I marked you for a reason, and it was not for it to be hidden.” He let his head fall against the pillow again.

You lifted yourself off of him slightly, as much as your strength, and his arms around you, would let you. “You ‘marked’ me?” You asked, slight panic settling into you at the unfamiliar term.

James nodded. “Yes.” He said bluntly, only explaining further when he saw the confused and worried expression on your face. “I’m an alpha, that means you’re my omega. It’s a pact. You’re mine.” You stared down at him in disbelief but didn’t question any further. You were too tired and, honestly, you kind of liked the idea...

[canonicallyobserving911]

Buck & Eddie: “You don’t know me!” - 7x5

In 2x8, Buck told a woman, “You don’t even know me!” and according to the script for episode 5 in season 7, the title of it will be almost an exact match since it's "You don’t know me!” and it appears to be a callback to his comment.

Since it's possible some may not have watched 2x8 Buck Actually in a while, here’s a quick reminder of the conversation Buck had with Bobby.  They were discussing TK and how Buck hooked up with her in a bar restroom but Buck told him that since he had finally let go of AC, he thought she had changed him 🙄. Then he proceeded to say he had only been single for like a day and he was back to basically being Buck 1.0. When they entered the gas station, Buck kept talking to Bobby about how he was thinking about calling TK but he didn’t want her to think he was only after one thing.  While Hen was treating the woman robber victim, she overheard Buck talking and commented, “You are only after one thing.  Jerk!”.  Buck responded, “You don’t even know me!” and she replied, “You’re a man, I know enough!”

Why is this important?

It’s important because the theme of “You don’t know me” has been applied to Buck with regards to every hookup or so-called “relationship” he’s had with different women on the show.  Let’s be real for a minute because the truth is none of them AC, AM, TK, ND, Dr. Wells nor the two women he hooked up with in season 1 knew him either.  Also, the woman who made the comment was a random victim who overheard Buck talking for less than a minute and she thought she knew Buck just because he’s a man. It was implied that all men want to do is hookup and leave like he did with TK but Buck has been and continues to search for the love of his life. The conversation he had with her connects to the one he had with Eddie in 6x15 while they were standing in the cemetery.

Buck said, “I feel like I have to try and be the same old Buck… mostly for the sake of everyone else” and Eddie responded, “You don’t have to be anything for anybody”.

IMO, their comments were being made directly to the audience and they were for the people who, after six seasons still want to keep seeing Buck do the same thing over and over again (I know it’s hard to believe but trust and believe there are people in the GA and in the 9-1-1 fandom who want to keep Buck on the hamster wheel and I think it’s because they DON’T WANT HIM TO BE WITH EDDIE).  These are the viewers who would rather he keep randomly hooking up with people (it could be anybody and it doesn’t matter if it’s irrational, nonsensical, illogical, random or whatever/whomever just as long as they can see him hookup with another guy or another random love interest) instead of him finally accepting the love that him and Eddie effortlessly share with one another.  I’ve said this many times, Buck and Eddie are in love with each other, they’re soulmates (post linked here) and they share a once in a lifetime love of their lives type of love that transcends space and time.  They have a deep, emotional and intimate connection that’s not superficial and it’s not based on a hookup.  They have an EPIC love story that deserves to be told without any more distractions or the addition of one-dimensional love interests.  It’s not platonic, it’s romantic and if they do go CANON, it will make for groundbreaking television.

Back to our regularly scheduled program…

After the title for 7x5 was released a few weeks ago, I completed a post about how Connor really doesn’t know Buck the way he said he does in 6x4 (linked here) and I stand by everything I included in it.  However, this post is in addition to that one and it includes the details about how all the women Buck dated didn’t know him either.

In 1x1, the first woman Buck was shown hooking up with in the firetruck told him to his face that she didn’t want to get to know him.  He asked her for her number and she replied, “You’re cute and you’re very good at whatever it is we just did but let’s not ruin it by getting to know each other.” She didn't want to get to know him and the look on his face showed he wanted more but she didn't so he moved on to the next one.

Dr. Wells was the LAFD’s trauma therapist and SHE TRIED TO BEFRIEND Buck on Facebook before he ever entered her office.  She knew the day would come when he would need therapy and when he asked her if she sent him a friend request, she told him he should delete it but then they ended up having sex.  It was played off like a joke but that’s not what it was because she was in a position of power and as a licensed therapist, she should have been charged because it’s against the law for that to happen. IMO, since Buck didn't know any better, as his captain, Bobby should have reported her. She wasn't mentioned again until 3x9 when Buck, Bobby, Chimney and Eddie were sitting in the loft at the firehouse and all Bobby said was "She's no longer with the department". That wasn't enough and she took advantage of him. Trust and believe the situation would have ended differently if the roles had been reversed.

AC wasn’t any different because after Buck stood by her and helped her after her mom died, he was being catfished by a man and several women were after him because of that guy's lies. After a woman threw a drink in his face, he said to her, “You know me right? Come on” and she replied, “I don’t even know who I am right now. But I definitely don’t feel like I know who you are right now.” She ended up ghosting him and abandoning him while he waited for her for months.

When she returned two years later, she didn't even apologize to him.

AM didn’t know Buck either and don’t get sidetracked by the fact that she called him Evan sometimes.  It was proven she didn’t know who he is when she said, “I know it’s who you are” after he said, “You want me to quit my job”.  Well, being a firefighter is NOT who Buck is, it’s what he does but she clearly saw him as a hot firefighter just like AC did and was looking for a good time. Please remember she didn't have a problem leaving him because of it.

TK didn’t know Buck at all and for everyone who thinks just because they were having sex and living together, that doesn’t mean anything because after meeting four years earlier, TK still had no idea who Buck was before it was over and she didn’t care.  If she had known him then she wouldn’t have betrayed his trust.  Also, he did cheat on her which made the situation worse but neither of them wanted to admit they weren’t supposed to be together and they clung instead of just ending it.  When he got ready to break up with her, she didn't try to see his side of it, she just stuck to her immoral ideals and wanted him to be ok with her running with the Jonah story.  Instead of saying, “I understand and I apologize” she said, “You knew who I was when we started dating” and he replied, “I guess I thought I could learn to live with it”.  She made it all about her the same way Buck makes everything about himself. They were two self-centered people with tragic childhoods in a trainwreck relationship and it shouldn’t have ever happened. It's still interesting that Buck ended up in a relationship with her after everything she did to Bobby and the 118 four years earlier (related post linked here and here).

ND fangirled over Buck and was so enthralled by his death but when she found out he had a full life, she did judge him.  He said, “I know this is something that’s easy to judge” but even though she said that him being a sperm donor was a kind gesture or whatever, she left because she couldn't handle his full life. Granted she was a death doula but her actions weren't professional and it would have been better if she would have helped him deal with his death. Her return should have ended with Buck saying "No thanks" and sending her on her way but of course he was shoved into another lackluster one dimensional relationship. Also, them telling each other, “I like you” was very high school like🙄.

Please understand, I don't like TK but in 4x8 she said, "You just can't stand the idea of someone not liking you" and she was right. Buck works hard to make people like him and it's very reminiscent of the way he's been trying to get his parents to love him anyway. He needs therapy.

It seems like he's still doing it and the words Bobby spoke in 6x11 during his coma dream had no effect since he still cares about how people see him. He hasn't learned anything yet but hopefully he will in season 7.

Eddie Diaz is the ONLY person on the show who KNOWS and SEES Buck and the video above includes several snippets from different episodes to prove it.

Eddie knows him at his core. He knows when to call him on his BS, he recognizes when Buck makes things about himself and he knows when he's trying to fix things instead of understanding it's not always his job to fix them.

Maddie is Buck's sister but she still sees Evan (post linked here) her little brother but Eddie knows Buck and after they become a CANON couple, he’ll know Buck even more. 

While I’m not sure who’s going to say, “You don’t know me” in 7x5 or if it will be said at all, I do believe Buck might say it again and if he does, it will be a callback to 2x8. Also, 6x15 could be included in it since Buck might not be trying to be the "same old Buck" anymore and hopefully it will be enough for the naysayers to understand he's not the same person. IMO, I still think it’s something he will say to Connor especially since the sperm donor arc is supposed to return and OS said in an interview it won’t be revisited before the first 5 episodes.  Hopefully, Buck will finally realize the people he thought knew him really don’t including Connor.

Is it possible Eddie could say it to M, maybe but I don’t know because IMO that doesn’t sound like something he would say to anyone.  But he is all therapized now and he’s supposed to be joking or whatever this season so who knows.

The point of this post is to illustrate how Buck said, “You don’t even know me” in 2x8 and apparently, it’s going to be a callback in 7x5 but the question is, if he does say it, who’s he going to say it to? 👀 

[marksbear]

its-a me, ⚰️!

rossi fostering a teenager (the reader)? like he went through something traumatic and rossi felt bad so he took the reader in, and the reader doesn't really like rossi? but he really likes stuffed animals so one day he shows up at the bureau and handing rossi a stuffed animal as a sign of affection and the team is confused with who this random kid is 💀

Ayeee I see the Mario reference. I hope you like it my friend ⚰,

Warnings! Y/n is a survivor of human trafficking, lack of trust, Slight angst but mostly fluff.

DAVE ROSSI X ADOPTED TEEN SON READER

"I'm looking to adopt Y/n M/n L/n (Age) old. In his file it says he got here because of a traumatic situation."

Rossi says looking at the director of the orphanage. "Yes it's true. The reason why it doesn't state the accident is because Y/n requested it to not be." The woman answers.

The woman opens one of the drawers in her desk looking through the many files before taking one and handing it to Dave. "It's Y/n's personal file." Dave takes the file and opens it carefully.

"He went through human sex trafficking to zero to the age of twelve. His mother sold him for drugs and money..." Dave reads out loud feeling his heart aches for the teenage male. "Poor boy." Dave announces closing the file and hands it back to the woman.

"How he escaped was legendary. He had cut off some heads of some stuffed animals and gotten small paper and wrote messages for help and placed them inside then he would put the head back to its place then give them to any adult he saw." The woman says looking through some things before picking up an old picture of a stuffed animal.

"I think you can really do something for this boy Mr Rossi. And I hope Y/n can see that."

The rest of the meeting follows signing legal papers and all that so Rossi can adopt Y/n. Once everything was good and checked Rossi could finally see his new son.

The pair had already met when Rossi was looking for a kid, but it was silent the whole time. Dave had sat down next to Y/n letting him get used to his presence. Y/n barely gave Dave a look, but what shocked some of the staff that Y/n didn't run away from Dave. He only stayed still as Dave watched him.

"Y/n? Is all your stuff packed, honey?" One of the staff asks standing in Y/n's room doorway. Dave stands behind her looking at Y/n.

Y/n sitting on the floor in the middle of the room back turned from the door trying to stuff his suitcases with the stuffed animals.

"Y/n. I don't think Mr Rossi would like all the stuffed animals at his house." The staff says earning Y/n saying something under his breath.

"It's okay. I don't mind at all Y/n. In fact let me help you out." Dave says quickly walking into the room crouching down next to Y/n picking up the toys that couldn't fit in his suitcase.

Y/n side eyes Dave before closing his suitcase before getting up off the floor picking up his other suitcases. Dave walks out of the room making sure Y/n is following him before leaving the orphanage and heading to his car. Dave helps Y/n with his bags putting them all in the back before going inside the car as Y/n goes into the passenger seat.

The drive home is silent only music is clearing up the silent car ride. "Dave..." Y/n says under bis breath. Dave almost didn't catch it until it registered in his brain. "Yeah kid?" "I don't wanna go back there. Never again Dave. It was like the same system I used to be in and I can't stand it." Y/n tells him holding the stuffed animal in his lap tightly.

"Don't worry Y/n. You aren't going to that place as long as I'm around. You have my word." Dave responds back with a smile on his face reaching his hand out to Y/n's head rubbing the back off it before putting it back on the wheel. For once Y/n trusted a smile he got from the different people in his life. But Y/n felt like he couldn't let his guard down just yet. He just couldn't.

Months go by of Rossi trying to prove himself to Y/n. Rossi helped and taught Y/n everything he knows. (even how to get the ladies.) But Y/n wouldn't let his guard down for a second. Dave understood why and never pressured Y/n once during their new father and son relationship.

Day by day Y/n begins to warm up with Dave. Even started calling him dad and added Rossi with his name replacing L/n. Dave knew that Y/n didn't like him, but hes glad that he trusts him even if it's a little. One of the things Y/n liked most was he never rushed him. Dave didn't force Y/n to tell him anything. Dave was gentle and patient with him and that caught Y/n off guard.

So one Y/n learned Dave was an FBI agent Y/n started to give stuffed animals to Dave as a good luck charm. Y/n would go to Dave's work bag and put a new stuffed animal each day and the day after he would take the old one and give the bag a new one.

But one day Y/n had forgotten to give him one and Y/n felt his heart sank. "What if he dies." "What if he doesn't come back home." "What if he got kidnapped." What if and more and more comes to Y/n mind as he walks around the hallways in school.

"That can't happen. Hes the only one I have left." Y/n thinks to himself looking at the exits out the school. "I have to give this to him. Just to make sure." Y/n thinks to himself one last time before looking around for any staff. Once it was clear Y/n rushes out the exit running out of school and its property.

Once Y/n was out of school grounds he took the stuffed lion out of his backpack and held it tightly making his way through the busy streets and neighborhood. After a while Y/n becomes hungry and goes to a coffee shop buying himself some food to go and buys his father a cup of coffee to go as well.

Walking more miles Y/n finally makes it to the station. Y/n stands on the sidewalk making sure it's the right one before heading straight in. Y/n ignores and speed walks past the guards and other cops trying to stop him.

"Young man stop right there!" One cop shouts jogging after Y/n.

Y/n holds onto the lion tighter rushing past the cops trying to stop him. And finally he sees his dad in some meeting room with some other strangers. "Dad..." Y/n says out loud before barging in.

"So the unsub is most likely a young boy-" Morgan gets cut off by the door slamming open then getting slammed shut.

The teams head all turn around looking at the stranger. The stranger walks to Rossi handing him a stuffed lion and a coffee before turning back around about to leave.

But sadly Y/n's exit is blocked by a series of agents and cops.

"Thank you Y/n. I would probably have gotten hurt in the future wasn't it for you. And thanks for the coffee." Dave thanks his son putting the lion on the table.

"Is there a problem?" Dave asks looking at the group of agents.

"Sir do you know this kid?"

"Yeah sure hope so hes my son." Dave answers with a smirk getting out of his seat pulling Y/n's arm back so hes closer to him.

"He isn't the best with words and affection, so he learned a way to show me his own type of affection by giving him the things he loves most. Stuffed animals." Dave says trying to clear up the confusion as why the hell is this kid here.

"And today he forgot to give me my lil good luck charm, so he ditched school to give me it. Hope that helps." Rossi adds looking at all the confused faces.

Rossi turns to his team and says "Guys meet Y/n. Y/n meet the team. I'll give you a run down of who they are once we get home. And since you came all the way here to help me out. Later we are go to the mall and buy some new stuff animals. Dave says taking off his suit jacket putting it on Y/n's shoulders before putting a strong hand on his back guiding him out the room and past the people.

The team watches as Dave takes Y/n to an empty desk and chair and pull a chair next to the desk starting a conversation with his son as Y/n take out the food he bought.

"So. Who the hell knew or even thought Rossi had a kid." Morgan says looking at all the profilers in the room.

"And to guess everyday he has to work with the FBI none of us had a clue that he had a kid." Hotch adds.

THE END!

[nyamadermont]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 49. I have a few options for #50…

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 299,440. Ok, I hadn’t realized I was that close. Now, my answer to #1 might be “a new 560-word drabble.”

3. What fandoms do you write for? I’m nearly exclusively writing for Avatar: Legend of Korra, with a little bit of Last Airbender, where it fits in.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

1. Rainstorm - Su is there for Lin, for once. 2. The Well of Need - My first long-form story, with Lin taking care of Kya. 3. This is My Anchor - A mid-sized Kyalin story where Lin doesn’t make Kya take care of her. 4. I’m Sorry I Need You - An angsty one-shot that fits with a couple others in the “marriage is hard” domain. 5. Walk With Me - A longer-than-intended one-shot variant on a Tumblr joke.

5. Do you respond to comments? I do, as soon as I can. Sometimes, that means getting off work. Sometimes, that means giving a response as meaningful as the comment was to me. 

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? For complete stand-alone stories, that is likely Something Changed, where the last words are usually joyous. I can’t find the link for the worst-worst ending I have, so just pretend that never happened.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? The happiest ending? I like my happy endings, so this is tough. But I think I’ll go for Elemental Changes, because that launched my collaboration with @slowdissolve on Red Jade.

8. Do you get hate on fics? Not hate, exactly. One reader informed me that I had ‘let them down’ on a follow-up story because I didn’t write the story that was in their head. 

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I’ve done a little, but it hasn’t been a focus for me. And, aside from the polyamory aspect, it’s all as vanilla as it comes.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? Not unless you count LOK + ATLA a crossover, which I don’t.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Not to date.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? @slowdissolve and I wrote Moonsigns together, and we published two versions. One is told in first-person language and color coded, on Tumblr. We then followed it up with a more traditional third-person version that does not rely on color, on AO3.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship? Kyalin is where everything opened up for me. 

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I’m taking quite the long view of all of this. I haven’t added to Their Sacred Year in a while, but have the outline for the next installment, so I don’t consider it abandoned.

16. What are your writing strengths? Folks seem to like my dialogue and plotting.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? I struggle with the final rising action / climax / falling action, to keep the pacing appropriate to the story.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I don’t plan on it, given I am uneducated in the languages appropriate to this setting. 

19. First fandom you wrote for? Legend of Korra.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? Saving the hardest for last. Naming the favorite child. Ok, fine. In that case, I’ll have to choose <wrestles with self> Elemental Changes (see #7), mostly because it’s a completely off-the-wall idea that I was able to see through and complete. And to have Slowdissolve illustrate the ending was an absolute capstone.

So I get to thank both @krastbannert and @wishingforatypewriter for their invitations!

Now, it's time to throw the floor open to folks like @yell0wsalt, @dont-blame-it-on-the-kids, @linguini17, @frogblast-the-ventcore, @badlucksav, @cdlunee, and of course,

you.

[portaltothevoid]

you're losing me part xiii

ao3 link

warnings: so much angst, tears, smut; fingering, hand job, thigh riding, quickie, little bit of a spit kink, p in v, rough sex, squirting, semi-public sex, (kind of accidental?) voyeurism, cum eating, weed use! smoking with papa!

word count: 11.3k (longest chapter yet!)

Hidden amongst the halls of the Ministry was a place where you would go for solitude. Not many people had reason to pass by here since the rooms in this wing of the top floor were mostly unoccupied. Centered in the hallway, overlooking the bustling grounds below, sat one of the many giant picture windows with a ledge just big enough for you to comfortably sit. You’d been curled up here for a while now, avoiding people. 

You’d managed to evade Copia over the past couple days. He was busy with not-so-secret meetings to prepare him to be the substitute Papa while you had been busy bonding with Phantom and the other Ghouls. They gave you comfort you didn’t even know you needed and felt like you had the family you always wanted. It was only a matter of time before your worries and stresses came back knocking, demanding your attention.

Today was his last show. You couldn’t stop thinking about him as much as you tried not to. Your thoughts clung to him like a magnet on a fridge. 

Your head had been resting on your knees, but as your mind circled the drain again and again, you leaned your head back with a groan. Even if you could do something, your hands were tied. You let your leg opposite the window slip down to touch the floor as you anxiously started to move it. Resting your temple on the cold glass, you tried to focus on the scene below you. Siblings and Ghouls alike were out for afternoon strolls, on their way into town for a night of fun, helping Primo tend his greenhouses… You chewed on your lip as you felt like a princess stuck in her tower. 

Lost in your pity party, you blocked out any and all sounds, missing the sound of footsteps that had become more and more familiar to you. It wasn’t until you felt a warm arm wrap around your calf and a head nuzzle into you near the bend at your knee, did you pull yourself from the inner workings of your mind to see Phantom curling up to you. 

“You’re so sad, Tater Tot,” he pouted. You really couldn’t stand the formality of being referred to as Your Eminence, so you asked the Ghouls to come up with something. You’d been munching on tater tots (for the second time that day) and after saying something sassy, Swiss responded with “Yeah, sure, whatever you say, Tater Tot!” After squeals from Cumulus and Sunshine, you’d been bestowed a Ghoulish nickname of your very own. 

No matter how deeply you sighed, it did nothing to relieve the crushing sorrow that had been currently placed on your chest. You longed to feel excited for what was to come, but the only thing you really allowed yourself to acknowledge was the dread of the unknown, of living a life you didn’t want, but need to for the “greater good.” You haven’t even ascended and already you were sick of it. 

“There are ways to keep things in these halls a secret if both parties are willing. There’s nothing that says you can’t have it all. You just have to be very clever and cunning about it.” And then of course, Secondo’s words kept echoing in your mind.

“I’m sorry, lovebug,” you sighed as you dropped your arm to rub his back. “Is it… is it really affecting you?”

You felt his shoulder rise and drop before he shook his head. “It’s a bit distracting, but only because I don’t know how to help.”

“There’s nothing you can really do… I don’t even think there’s anything I can do.”

“Do you… wanna talk about it? I was told about the prophecy before I was summoned for you, but it’s all… it gets confusing to keep up with everything.” You could tell by the way his eyes crinkled behind his silver mask that he was looking at you shyly. 

“The more I try to not think about Terzo, the more I do. I wish I could still hate him. That would make things so much easier,” you lamented as your head fell back against the cold marble behind you. “I just… I get this sick feeling in my gut when I think about what they’re doing. I think… I think this is why Terzo tried to bring about the prophecy the way he did, behind everyone’s backs? The more I think about everything in retrospect, the more I see power wasn’t what he necessarily wanted, but he did want to keep it away from those that don’t deserve it. He thought I would be able to… I don’t know, rise up quicker than I did to stop that? I just see what’s happening now… With how Sister Imperator is controlling everything, to how Copia’s changing slowly but surely… They say I have freewill, but I don’t think I do.”

Phantom nodded. “The greatest sacrifices are always greatly rewarded.”

You blinked, shocked by this sudden sage advice. “Wh-what?”

He chuckled. “Didn’t expect me to be so wise, huh? That’s a message from Lady Lilith. I was told I would give it to you when the time was right. You have power and you have intuition. You’ll know what to do. The only people you need to trust are Lucifer, Lilith, and yourself.”

“You have a wise Ghoul,” a voice sounded from across the hall, making both you and Phantom jump. As your heads whipped across to see the owner of the voice, you saw a very dapper man in a white suit with flowling silver hair and glowing red eyes. He was smirking at you. His shoulders moved in such a way that you knew he was silently laughing to himself, having scared you. 

Phantom scrambled to kneel in front of the man, bowing his head. “Oh, please, we needn’t be so formal right now,” he smiled as he waved away the Ghouls actions. “You’ve been questioning your freewill a lot, haven’t you, my child?”

Your mouth hung open slightly as you turned your body to fully face the man and that was when the realization hit you like a well-aimed kickball in gym class. “Lord Lucifer,” you breathed.

He nodded as he pushed himself off the wall. “I planned on visiting you a bit later, but even the most vital members of my flock need unprompted guidance sometimes,” he spoke smoothly as he sauntered towards you.

“I’m so afraid of making the wrong choice. I want to put the flock first, and myself last, but I don’t want to lose… everything in the process.” Your words spilled out in a panicked rush.

He paused to look at you thoughtfully. “Everything? Care to be more specific?” 

“I mean like…” Your shame, or maybe even your guilt, made you avert your eyes, looking at the floor and away from the Ministry’s patron deity that stood before you. Sucking in a shallow breath, “I don’t want to lose myself,” you revealed meekly. 

Now standing in front of you, he put his hand on your heart. The heat that radiated from it, you swore it would burst into flames at any moment. When you pulled your gaze from the floor and brought it up to his blazing irises, he was nodding. “Yes, you are being guided to make a certain choice. There are many reasons for that. Reasons you will not know for some time and reasons I cannot tell you right now. But trust. Confido fidei (trust faith). No one knows what is to come after the choice is made, not yet. There are much bigger things planned. Continue on the path you’re on. Don’t fear it. You are why we will be able to achieve more during this lifetime than ever before. Let them think they hold the power. Let them believe they have control. Soon you will see, my dear child. And you will laugh in their faces when they realize how they underestimated you. Both of you.” He leaned forward to gently kiss the top of your head.

Your eyes fluttered shut and when you opened them, you weren’t sitting on a windowsill at the abbey. You were on a couch. Phantom was still at your feet. Faint music could be heard surrounding you. In your shocked daze, you finally were able to listen closely enough to make out what you were hearing: Mummy Dust. That was the song being played.

Lucifer had transported you to the show. Terzo’s final show. 

You were quite literally pulled out of your stupor when Phantom excitedly tugged at your arm, dragging you out into a hallway. “Phantom, wait! What if someone sees us!?”

He kept walking as he turned to look back at you. “You named me Phantom for a reason. No one’s gonna see us! Come on, I wanna see Papa!”

Generally, the Ghouls bestowed upon the highest members of the clergy were almost always quintessence ones. Their abilities of teleportation and invisibility were used for safety. So, naturally of course, with you being on a fated course to be Lilith’s mortal representative of sorts, that was the element of your Ghoul. 

As the two of you meandered through the halls to get onto the floor to watch the show from front of house, you couldn’t help but ponder over why Lucifer put you here, why He wanted you to be here. Just when you thought you figured out your fate, more facets appeared. Clearly, there was more to the ascension than anyone had begun to realize.

When you both finally found a spot to watch the remainder of the show, Phantom bent down and patted his shoulders. With a chuckle and a shake of your head, you climbed on, gaining an unobstructed view over the crowd in front of you just as another song started. The second the first chorus began, it was like Terzo had zeroed in on you. 

The world is on fire.

His gaze, in particular his piercing white eye, which stood out amidst the man-made fog that clung to the stage, seemed to be looking right through you. Well, technically speaking he was since you were supposed to be invisible. Your body was supposed to be invisible. Not your essence, your presence. Even while focused on performing, perhaps it was merely subconsciously, he could feel you were there. Undoubtedly, there was a deep connection between the two of you, and neither had even begun to scratch the surface of it. Yet. 

And you are here to stay and burn with me.

 He outstretched his hand like he was reaching for you, just you. Absent-mindedly, you did the same. Two moths drawn to the same flame. An unspeakable nexus between you and him. 

He tore his eyes away from yours to continue with the performance of one of your favorite songs. You thanked and praised Lucifer for bringing you here. Being able to experience this, one last time… A gift you didn’t even know you desperately needed. Even during most of the encore song, you were able to enjoy yourself. But reality slapped you like a brick to the face once you remembered why you were here.

“Come on, sing it a little bit louder!” Terzo encouraged the crowd.

Your whole body tensed. He had no idea, even still. The crowd barely even reacted, but you saw them. Two burly men from a stage right door walked out, grabbing Terzo by the arms off the amp he was standing on. “Che cazzo! Ma che cazzo fate (What the fuck! What the fuck are you doing)?!” he shouted before the mic fell to the stage.

You could feel the panic rising from the Ghouls on stage. Aether tried to run after Terzo. When you noted more movement from the same side of the stage where the two goons came out of. This time, there were three. Two similarly dressed guard-looking types and a frail old man in white Papal regalia. Fury began to burn inside you. One of the men was carting an oxygen tank. 

Nihil. Papa fucking Nihil. Of course, Sister would have sent him here for this. You had seen enough.

After rapidly tapping on Phantom, he put you down. “We have to get to Terzo. Now,” you commanded. Before you could even take a step, you felt Phantom’s hand wrap around yours and the next thing you knew you were in the same room as before.

He won’t be able to see us until I know it’s safe. Phantom informed you telepathically while Terzo was pacing around the room. Omega was here too. He looked in your direction, but didn’t react when Terzo shouted, “Ho bisogno di risposte, Omega (I need answers)!”

You sighed angrily as you broke free from Phantom’s grasp. “Terzo,” you started to say as you rushed towards him. You stopped when he yelped like a scared puppy, since to him, you appeared out of thin air.

“Che cazzo, amore! What– Why are you– How did you–?” he stuttered, tripping over his words. 

“Um… Lucifer brought, or well, put us here,” you said hesitantly and almost bashfully.

“Lu— Lucifer?!” he stuttered again, still in shock as his adrenaline was on overdrive. “You saw Lucifer?”

“Yeah, but we have to talk about that later.” You stepped towards him, your hands outstretched to take hold of his arms. He stepped forward, meeting you in the middle. Gravitating towards the other like magnets, you held each other's arms just above the other’s elbow. “They’re officially revoking your title as Papa. That’s why you were pulled off stage. It’s… I don’t know what’s going on beyond that, but Terzo, they’re up to something. It’s not good, whatever it is. They did it this way because it’s for whatever’s next for the Ghost Proje–”

“You knew…” he breathed, his lips barely even moving. As if he touched hot iron, he took his hands away from you and stepped back a couple paces. “You knew and you didn’t… tell me?” he said, slightly more audible, but not any less hurt.

“Yeah, and it’s real shitty to be left in the dark, isn’t it? Look, we don’t have time for this! We need to get out of here!”

“And how do you think we do that, hm? I’m sure they’ll let us both walk right out the front fucking door!” he snapped.

You rolled your eyes. “There are two quintessence Ghouls here? We need to get back to the Ministry,” you said forcefully as you walked over to grab Phantom’s hand and dragged him over with you as you grabbed Omega’s.

“But Imperator forbade us from using unsanctioned teleportation…” Omega warned.

Your head whipped towards the towering Ghoul. Your eyes turned blacker than his outfit. “Aw, ‘but Imperator forbade us,’” you droned, mocking Omega, before shouting, “I don’t give a fuck what Imperator allows. Who allowed you the ability to talk? Me. Now grab Terzo and get us back to the fucking Minstry!” 

Omega nodded in panic. Both he and Phantom lunged at Terzo, wrapping their hands around his forearms. “Che–” he started to say, but before he got the next word out, they were already standing outside of the main entrance to the Ministry.

“ –Cazz-UGH!” Terzo finished his sentence by turning and throwing up into a nearby bush. 

You nodded. “Ah, is that why we’re outside and not inside?”

Omega shrugged and nodded. “He’s mostly human still and they don’t take very well… to… sudden teleportation.” 

This being your third time teleporting in the past hour and, well, ever… you were unaffected by it. The reality of your life made your stomach flip from Omega’s wording. Just because this had been your everyday life as of late, didn’t mean you had begun to process any of it. You shook your head and let out a breath hoping to expel some rising nerves along with it as you walked over to Terzo, rubbing his back. 

He shrugged you off as he stood up and stormed inside. 

“Hey!” you called after him, trotting to catch up to his fast pace fueled by anger. When you finally caught up to him, you grabbed his arm and spun him around to face you. Never in all the time that you’ve known him, had you seen such a fury shine through his eyes. “Hey,” you repeated, much softer this time. “I’m on your side.” Your grip loosened and you dragged your hand down his arm til your hand enclosed around his. “I’m on your side,” you repeated, staring into his eyes, and hoping the look on your face conveyed the conviction and sincerity you spoke with.

His body relaxed slightly as his hand tightened confidently around yours before his expression morphed into one of determination. “Then let’s go confront the bitch.”

Together you walked the halls of the Ministry to Sister Imperator’s office, hand in hand, feeling like a more solidified unit than you had in quite some time. You were about to round the last corner that led to the corridor which housed the senior most clergy members' offices, when you gently tugged at his hand, bringing your small group to a halt. You looked at Terzo with worry and sorrow etched into your face.

“We can’t…” You looked down at your joined hands, reluctantly pulling yours back to your side. “We can’t go in there like this.”

“I know,” he agreed quietly.

“I have to pretend– They have to think I’m theirs. Fuck, there’s so much I have to tell you.” Your shoulders sagged as a breath was pushed from your lungs by the weight of everything left unsaid.

“I know, amoruccio. I know.” He placed his hand on the side of your neck, fingers wrapped around towards the back, allowing him to angle your head down. With a half step forward, he leaned his forehead against yours. You held onto his wrist, rubbing your thumb across the back of his still gloved hand. After a few moments, he let go of you. One of his telltale smirks brightened his face. “You really do. You haven’t even introduced me to your Ghoul yet.”

Phantom did a little hop so he was in Terzo’s line of sight and waved to him. You happily rolled your eyes at the Ghoul’s antics. The other two couldn’t help but stifle their laughter. 

A calm settled over the four of you. The brief calm turned to sobered reality when the realization of what brought all of you to this moment settled on you like a weighted blanket. “Follow my lead?” you asked Terzo when a sudden plan popped into your head.

“Sempre (always),” he said with a nod, which you returned. 

After a deep breath, you shouted, “Goddammit, Terzo!” as you resumed the warpath to Sister Imperator's office. Turning the corner you continued, “This has nothing to do with me! It wasn’t my place to tell you!”

“So, you admit it, you did know! You knew the whole fucking time!” he shouted back, quickly figuring out the scenario you were acting out. 

“Aw, see? Being the last to know about something that’s happening to you really fucking hurts, doesn’t it? Gotta love karma!”

“Don’t even go there. This is completely different and you know it. You could have at least given me a heads up!” 

“I don’t owe you shit,” you retorted as you stood with your hand on the door knob. “And you know what? I’m sick of you taking your shit out on me. You wanna yell and whine and cry to someone?” You threw the door open. “Fucking have at it!” you concluded, holding the door open and he stormed in.

Sister Imperator’s eyes were round, nearly growing in size as she registered that it was actually Terzo who was bearing the brunt of your aggression and accompanying you as you burst through the door. Copia was in her office, too. Oh, how convenient. He didn’t even try to hide the smug look on his face, especially when you walked over to him and leaned on the arm of the chair he was sitting in. He flashed you a quick smile, a pleasantry which you didn’t return, playing it off due to being too annoyed from the situation at hand. 

“Well? Is anyone going to fucking say anything or just sit around and fucking gawk at me?” Terzo huffed, throwing his arms up in the air.

“The show only ended less than an hour ago. How is it that you are already here?” Sister Imperator raised an eyebrow and directed her authoritative gaze at you. “And what were you doing with them?”

“Ghouls, obviously, Sister,” Terzo said condescendingly to the older woman as he rolled his eyes.

Your palms went up in an act of defensive surrender. “Hey, don’t drag me into this. Phantom and I were coming back from a walk outside and poof!” You imitated a sudden burst with your hands. “They just appeared right in front of me.” 

“Unsanctioned teleportation is forbidden,” Sister chastised. 

Terzo let out a noise that was somewhere between a scoff and a squeak. “For fuck’s sake, with her here,” he waved his whole arm in your direction, “all your rules for the Ghouls are null and void. And I think my Papacy being publicly revoked without any indication whatsoever warrants an emergency teleportation to get some fucking answers!”

With a heavy sigh, she curled her lips in, shaking her head while looking to the ground as if in a silent prayer for strength. “She will not and currently does not have the proper authority to override rules that I set in place until her ascension is complete.”

“Uh, okay, and Ghouls can use their words now because of me, but sure, yeah. What authority do I have?” You rolled your eyes now. “Omega, I think you did a fine job taking care of the human you are bound to in his time of distress.”

“Thank you, Your Eminence,” Omega acknowledged aloud with a nod, which earned them an ice-cold glare from Sister Imperator. 

“Well, would you look at that…” you mumbled indignantly, while shooting Imperator a look that said ‘told you so.’ 

Copia even let out a short burst of laughter at your defiance, especially when Terzo shot you a look, which he took to be one of frustration for being ignored. You, on the other hand, knew it was more of a warning. You had to tread lightly.

“Enough.” Sister Imperator briefly pinched the bridge of her nose as she collected her thoughts and quieted her frustration, before she turned her attention to Terzo. “Your album cycle is over now. Therefore, publicly, we need a fresh and younger face to represent our Ministry. We need to redirect the path you were leading us down.”

“A path that led us to our first appearance on American television and a Grammy, but yes, what a sordid path that was. Let’s change course!” Terzo interjected snarkily.

“Somewhere along the way you lost the seriousness of our teachings. Quite frankly, you were too goofy. For me, the kazoo was the last straw along with your blasé attitude.”

“Don’t insult my kazoo finesse! It is more difficult than it looks.” You had to suppress a giggle that wanted to escape, so you bit down hard on your lip. Memories of Terzo and his kazoo flooded your mind, but now wasn’t the time to reminisce. So, you shook your head, trying to dispel them. Luckily the simple action just made you look as tired as Sister Imperator was of Terzo’s antics and flare for the dramatics. 

After another heavy sigh, Sister continued, “With the ascension looming, it is the perfect time for the transition. Copia will become our new Fidei Defensor (Defender of the Faith) of sorts.”

You let out another scoff. “So what does that make me? Anne Boelyn?” You dropped your voice to grumble agitatedly to yourself, “Maybe this is a fucking monarchy…”

Copia reached over to pat your leg. “No, cara mia. I’ll always choose to work through our issues, not behead you.” He quietly laughed at his own joke, but really it was more of a subtle jab, which he made a point to direct his smirk at Terzo, whose similar dichromatic eyes blazed with fury.

Sister Imperator cleared her throat. “Copia is not officially recognized as being a part of the bloodline, and with Papa Nihil still being alive, he will appoint Copia who will take over leading the Ministry for the time being, seeing as how he is our current most senior clergy member. I already have preparations being made to inform the audience of the Ghost project of the news.”

“Thank you, Sister,” Copia said with a nod and held out his fist for a fist bump, but when he just stared at his hand, he just knocked twice on the desk with his knuckle. 

“So that’s it. I’m thrown away like yesterday’s newspaper and replaced with… him?”

“Terzo, you will always be our Third Papa. We could not have gotten where we are today without your…” she paused for a moment, clearing her throat, “without you. We still hold you in the highest regard and with the utmost respect,” she smiled warmly at the now-former Papa, but still, the smile seemed forced. She was acting like the head of HR letting a star employee go due to budget cuts: formal and fake. 

“Now, we need to focus on the upcoming rituals,” she continued with her commanding, all-business tone in an effort to steer the subject away from the Papacy before Terzo had even more of a meltdown. “Tomorrow evening, each of you will pledge yourselves to your patron deities. Our star of the show will be pledging herself to Lilith, of course. As for you two,” her eyes darted between Terzo and Copia, almost hesitantly testing the waters as if putting the two of them together in the same sentence would set off some kind of chain reaction, “your deity will present themselves to you. They will offer you all guidance for the final ritual. The following day, you will meet with our High Priestess to receive a tarot reading for clarity on the next phase of your journeys. This isn’t a requirement for the ascension, but any and all wisdom should be welcomed. Through tomorrow’s ritual, our soon to be Papessa Electus Prima will provide us with insight for the ascension itself. We have knowledge of the basics, but more intricate details have to be divinely provided so as to preserve its sacredness. Now that we are all on the same page, please get the hell out of my office.”

“Okie dokie, thank you. Thank you again, Sister,” Copia said as he slapped his thighs and rose from his seat. He bowed slightly at Imperator who smiled, a warm twinkle in her eye. Quickly that faded when she watched Terzo storm out of the office. You were too busy being concerned about Terzo to even register that Sister Imperator had said what your title will be once the ascension has been completed.

Omega, tell him I’ll find him later tonight. I won’t let him go through this alone. You thought to Terzo’s Ghoul just before he stepped out into the hallway. 

You got it, Tater Tot.

Phantom shifted awkwardly, ringing his hands together. Before you could offer him any comfort, you were distracted by Copia’s hand on the small of your back as you stood. Together you walked out of the room. Copia closed the door behind you, but not before turning back and offering a small wave to Sister Imperator. As the three of you started to walk, Copia asked, “Will you be joining me for dinner tonight, or will your company be the Ghouls?”

You couldn’t have planned your alibi better if you tried. “I was going to join the Ghouls for one more night. You know, just to get more acquainted with them.”

“The past few days haven't been enough?” he laughed nervously, but somewhere underneath that you could hear his annoyance. 

“I wasn’t supposed to say anything…” Phantom spoke up, “but we have something planned for Her Eminence tonight. Uh, since the Ghost Ghouls will be back, and I haven’t met them yet, um, I would feel a lot better if Tater Tot, um, I mean Her Eminence! I’d feel better if she was there with me.”

“Tater Tot?” Copia’s eyebrow shot up in surprise. “Hm, cute nickname. It suits you.” That nickname was only for your Ghouls to use. It sounded wrong falling from his lips. You caught yourself before you started to ball your fists, so you played it off by waving your hand up to his chest. 

“I won’t stay there the whole night, but I don’t know how late I’ll be…” you tried to reassure Copia. You came to a stop as you reached the part of the Ministry where the clergy’s quarters were to the left and the Ghoul den was to the right. Slinking your arms around his waist, you gently started to sway as you put on your cutest smile. “In the morning, I’m all yours.”

Letting out a breath through his nose, he placed his hands on your shoulders, gently rubbing them. He leaned down so his forehead was touching yours, causing you to still as you looked into his eyes. “Lucky for you, sono molto paziente (I’m very patient).”

Pushing up on your tiptoes, you kissed him. His hands slid up to gently hold your face between them, allowing him to deepen the kiss. After a few moments, he pulled away. “Are you sure I can’t convince you?” he whispered.

Phantom stepped closed, crouching down between you both so the attention would be diverted to him. “It is a really good surprise. We’d be so sad if we had to wait!”

You shrugged, looking at Phantom and then back to Copia. “Come on, look at those puppy dog eyes. How can I say no?” Both of you chuckled softly. You moved one of your hands up to his face to trace along one of his sideburns. “Duty calls…”

“Sì, sì. I know. I just miss you,” he sighed before he gingerly kissed your forehead, stepping out of the embrace. One corner of his mouth turned upwards into a sly smile, “Tomorrow morning though, you’re mine.”

“All yours…” you said, or technically lied, as you held onto his hand. You needed him to believe that truth. Turning your Ghoul, “Phantom, go ahead without me. I won’t be long. Help them get the surprise set up,” you winked at him. I have to play along, tide him over. Your quick thinking was perfect. You added in your thoughts. 

“Okay, don’t take too long… Sodo might come looking for you. You know how impatient he is,” Phantom laughed as he turned to silently glide away towards the Den. 

Copia eyed you suspiciously as you turned back to him with a grin so mischievous it rivaled that of a succubus. There was an alcove tucked away nearby. With his hand still in yours you pulled him towards it. “Amore, what are you—?”

“Shhh,” you shushed, putting a finger to his lips, pausing briefly before you slowly dragged it down and then traced his bottom lip. “I know I haven’t been around lately and we don’t have much time now, but maybe I can still make it up to you…” Slowly you trailed your hands down the front of his cassock, until you forcefully grabbed the fabric of his pellegrina. Hastily, you guided him towards you as you spun around, backing yourself into the alcove and up against a wall. 

To steady himself, he put one hand against the wall beside your head. The other was tightly holding your hip. Roughly, you pulled him towards you until your bodies were flushed against each other. Your lips crashed into each other’s. The kiss was sloppy and crazed, near manic. He tried to slot his thigh between your legs, but the long fabric of his cassock got in the way. He broke away from you, muttering “Goddammit,” as he started to undo some of the buttons. You bent down to undo the lowest ones, working your way up until you met his hands that trembled from anticipation. Flinging the red fabric behind him, you hooked your fingers in his belt loops to bring him closer to you once again. 

He wasted no time sliding your habit up to your hips as your barely concealed core met his leg. Your quiet moan was muffled by your mouth moving against his as you began to grind on his thigh. You never stopped your movements as he breathed out, “What if someone sees us?” 

“Then let them see,” you smirked. His eyes searched yours as you saw the carnal, practically animalistic lust finally cloud his eyes. Unceremoniously, your lips crashed against his. You kissed up the side of his face, before dragging your tongue under his sideburn. When your mouth neared his ear, you nipped at his lobe. “Take what you want from me,” you growled. 

He pushed you harder into the wall as he used his leg to widen your stance. His left hand took hold of your shoulder, while his right dropped between your legs. With the gusset of your now dampened underwear out of the way, he dragged his leather-covered fingers up and down your folds as his thumb drew circles on your clit. 

Tucking your lips around your teeth, you hummed, leaning your head back against the wall. Involuntarily, your hips jutted against his hand, desperately trying to increase the friction. 

Suddenly, his movements stopped. You opened your eyes and before you could even whimper, “Eyes. On. Me.” he commanded. 

Wrapping your hand around his forearm attached to your shoulder, your eyes locked on his. “Brava ragazza,” he murmured, plunging two fingers inside you. Your nails dug into him as he began to slowly pump his fingers in and out of you. You leaned forward to unbutton and unzip pants, freeing his cock that was screaming for attention. Bringing your hand up to his face, you held out your palm in front of his mouth, which he lewdly licked. When you then cupped your hand under his chin, he spat in it. He hissed as you began to stroke his cock, matching the pace of his curling fingers. If it weren’t for the gloves, you could have seen his knuckles turn white against your shoulder. 

When the obscene sounds emanating from your cunt were loud enough for a passerby to easily hear, he abruptly took his fingers out of you. You let go of him as he took himself in his own hand to drag his length up and down your folds before he rubbed the weeping tip against your clit. “Fuck,” you groaned, as you rutted your hips along him, clawing at the back of his neck. 

Just when your nails had dug into his flesh almost to the point of drawing blood, he lined himself up and pushed himself inside you until there was no space between his hips and yours. With ease, his length filled you, stretching out your walls almost painfully slow. It took all you had for your legs not to buckle underneath you. Especially when he swiftly increased the pace of his thrusts and drilled into you relentlessly. You could feel your juices start to drip around his cock. That was when you brought your hands to his shoulders, pressing down as you hoisted yourself up to wrap your legs around his waist. 

With a grunt, he pushed you further into the wall as you enclosed your arms around his neck. The slight change in angle was everything you needed. Copia moaned into the crook of your neck, before biting your collar bone with a guttural growl. You shut your eyes, feeling the coil so close to snapping. “Diavolessa mia,” he groaned.

My she-devil. She-devil.

Truthfully, you couldn’t decipher if that turned you on or enraged you, but you felt something inside you snap, or rather, come alive. Whatever Infernal gift that lived inside you, now overrode your emotions. It heightened the disdain, the irritation, the hatred you felt for the man who thought this was a depraved act of love. No, for you, this was now just a means to an end. You were using him and the fact he believed the opposite spurred you on with a sadistic glee. Love had no place here with you, only a primal kind of lust. 

When you opened your eyes, you knew they were darker than the shadows that shrouded you. Copia couldn’t focus on anything else besides you, but in that moment, you managed to hear soft foot falls, the slight clacking of dress shoes, growing louder as they grew closer. From the ferocity of Copia pounding into you, you could care less about quieting the pants and moans that spilled from your lips. Your volume only increased, partly from the added arousal of being seen and partly to distract Copia from the fact someone would see. You watched as the person came into your line of vision and walked by, looking down at the ground, albeit with a smirk on his face. Slowly his head turned up to give you some sort of kudos for the defiant act of sin you were partaking in. 

You were so lost in the haze of an impending orgasm and not able to quickly recognize who exactly just entered your line of sight, who was within earshot. Purposefully, your moans got a bit louder still. 

But he would have recognized those sounds anywhere.

The accidental voyeur’s head snapped up, his mismatched eyes met your demonic ones. That look was all it took to send you hurtling over the edge. Instantly, your walls clenched around Copia. The coil didn’t just snap, it shattered. He pulled out of you just in time for your release as your whole body shook, but your eyes never wavered from the man in front of you. With an otherworldly growl, you could feel your juices drain out of you, sounding like someone dropped a glass of water onto the marble floor. 

Terzo’s mouth hung at the hinges as he looked to the floor, then back up at you. As he stared into your obsidian eyes, his white eye burned. You could feel it too, like an electric shock. You knew your aftershocks were because of him, because it was Terzo’s gaze that was boring into yours. Any emotion you had been feeling towards Copia was adamantly replaced with this deep feeling of longing for the man in front of you that you couldn’t… that you weren’t supposed to have. Slowly, Terzo pulled himself out of his trance. His face devoid of his Papal paints gave way for the anger and hurt he felt to shine through like a beacon in the night. Having seen more than enough, he retreated.

You barely noticed how Copia had pushed himself inside you again to chase his own release. It was only when he whispered, “I’m close. Cazzo, I’m gonna–” gruffly in your ear, did you pull yourself out of your own trance you had found yourself in. Your eyes returned to normal as you dropped your unsteady legs to the floor and lowered to your knees. 

Gazing up at Copia, looming over you as he now stroked himself at a relentless pace, you waited, open mouthed and tongue out. Just the way you knew he wanted you. Mere seconds after he placed the tip of his cock on your tongue, he leaned forward bracing himself again with one hand on the wall. You closed your eyes as you felt the warmth of his cum hit your face and tongue. For the moment, you allowed yourself to imagine it was someone else standing before you. The fantasy was short-lived when you heard nothing but your heaving breaths. 

Dutifully, you took him in your mouth, sucking off any of his spend that remained. Swallowing as you stood, his eyes shone with admiration for you. Had it not been for the previous distraction, you would have been proud of yourself, but all you could feel was guilt ripping apart your chest. 

No sooner had you removed the back of your hand from your mouth, it was replaced with a hard kiss as Copia held your arms in a vice grip. Any remaining cum on your face, he licked off of you. Again, he rested his forehead atop yours as you both came down from two very different highs. “Grazie,” he said through a breathy chuckle.

“Told you, I wanted to make it up to you,” you remarked with a half smile. 

“You sure you won’t be, eh, too worn out for your little Ghoul party?”

“I’ll be fine, don’t you worry.” You weren’t sure who you were reassuring: him or yourself.

Gently, he kissed your forehead, then backed up to tuck himself back in his pants and straighten out his cassock. “‘Til tomorrow morning then, topolina mia.” He started to leave and just as he was about to exit the alcove, he turned just enough for you to see his profile. The way the light hit him made his smirk seem almost sinister. “I understand why you were so enamored with him. We’ll have to do this again sometime, hm? Oh, and, ehm, have fun with your Ghouls… Tater Tot.” You noted the subtle shake of his shoulders as he laughed while he left to return to his quarters.

You froze in place at his words. The hem of your habit barely moved past your hips. Darkness swirled in your eyes like the oncoming of a hurricane’s eye wall after the eye had passed. All you wanted to do was run after him and grab him by the back of his neck and watch his blood stain the white marble underneath you. Your eyes scrunched shut so tightly you could feel the surrounding muscles working overtime. As you focused on breathing in and out slowly, Terzo’s dejected expression flashed through your mind. You had to find him. Seeing you like that… That was the last thing he needed to see today. 

After smoothing out your habit and fixing your hair, you started off in the direction you had seen him go. Luckily it was in the same direction as the Ghoul’s Den. 

You knew you needed to give him some time and desperately wanted to remove any trace of what just happened, so no sooner had you walked through the threshold of the den, did Cumulus and Sunshine rush right to your side. Aside from the look on your face and your disheveled state, you’re sure they could smell part of what you had just done. 

They ushered you to a nearby bathroom that was en suite to one of their rooms. “Oh, honey, what happened? Your emotions don’t match…” Sunshine wondered.

Everything started to pour out of you as the Ghoulettes assisted you getting yourself cleaned up. How you’ve come to despise Copia because of the prophecy and Imperator’s games, how your worry about Terzo somehow called in Lucifer who brought you to him, which brought you to Imperator’s office, which led you to try to satiate Copia with an alcove quickie. Something that was in fact an idea you did actually borrow from your time with Terzo, so Copia’s comment, you knew, was premeditated, only fueling your rage even more. The only reason you even came up with that plan was to get him off your trail, so you could go and see Terzo, but he just happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. Now the image of his pained and despondent expression was burned into your memory. 

“He was here, you know, Papa Terzo,” Cumulus said almost hesitantly. Sunshine nudged her in the ribs, but she waved the other Ghoul off. “He was giving something to Omega. I think it was… It doesn’t matter what it was. He loves you, Tater Tot.”

“I know,” you spoke with a hushed tone, but even that didn’t keep your voice from breaking. “It’s like no matter what we do, we’re destined to hurt each other.”  

Sunshine handed her a pair of black pants that were part of their uniform and a matching black button down shirt. The pants fit perfectly, but the shirt was oversized, so you tied it at your waist. You tossed your hair up into a messy bun, allowing your bangs and stray curls to frame your face perfectly. 

The Ghoulettes nodded at you in approval. “He won’t hate you for what he saw.”

“I don’t think he could hate you if he tried or if Omega’s life depended on it,” Cumulus said, her eyes sparkling. 

You let out a quick breath of a laugh, nodding in agreement. Sunshine put her hand on your shoulder. “Go to him,” she encouraged.

You remembered how he headed back the same direction he had come. It didn’t take long for you to realize that that way, while also leading to the Ghoul’s Den, also led to a side door, which led to a path that went through Primo’s garden. While the path wrapped around the perimeter of the Ministry grounds, not too far off on the outskirts of them was a lone sycamore tree just before the river that was hidden by the neighboring forest. 

For whatever reason, despite its majestic beauty, Siblings never frequented this spot. Rarely anyone sought refuge under its branches. Except Terzo. This was his spot. His place for respite from the troubles which plagued him because of his place in the Ministry. It wasn’t long before it became your spot too. In fact, one of the first times he requested your company, alone, he took you there. Whenever you both ended up at that tree, he was always honest. He was vulnerable. 

If he was anywhere within the Ministry, that was where you knew you would find him.

The gravel crunched under your shoes as you crossed your arms over your chest in an effort to shield yourself from the crisp, autumn air as the setting sun fell with the temperature. Ahead of you, you could just make out a figure sitting under the sycamore tree. A cloud of smoke drifted away, carried by the wind in front of him. There was a moment you almost smiled. Memories of happier times danced into your mind, but they were quickly squashed by the worry of what you would even say when you did reach him. 

Guilt clawed its way into the forefront of your thoughts. You shouldn’t feel guilty for what he saw. Not after what he did to you. Not after you discussed with him the choice you knew you had to make. And yet, there it settled on your conscience like a cinder block. No matter whether you were together or not, it seemed like all you did was hurt each other, sometimes intentionally, sometimes inadvertently. You hated it. All you wanted was for this ordeal to be over. Even if that meant your happiness would be confined to the shadows.

The scent of weed wafted towards you as your footfalls became audible to the man who sat holding a lit joint between his fingers. You didn’t say anything as you sat down next to him, staring ahead at the expanse of nature before you. Wordlessly, he held it out to you, which you took, silently thanking Satan for the mental relief that was moments away. After a couple hits, you went to pass it back, but he just shook his head. It was three quarters of the way gone already, so you took it upon yourself to finish it. Once you snuffed it out, you pulled your knees to your chest, crossing your arms over them for something to rest your chin on.

There were a few beats of silence. Enough time for your lids to feel heavy and your thoughts to quiet slightly. You tried your best to be present in the moment as you listened to the rustling of the dying leaves above you, felt the coolness of the grass underneath you, watched the shadows of the tree dance on the ground in front of you. 

“Did you feel something when you realized it was me…?” Terzo asked you, being the first one to break the silence, his voice cautious and barely above a whisper.

“It was like… this jolt of electricity.”

“Hmm. I felt it too. In my eye. The white one. Wonder what it means…”

“Maybe it was because we have this strong connection, I don’t know,” you guessed with a shrug, but then the obviousness of your statement dawned on you both. 

Slowly your heads turned toward each other. The two of you erupted into laughter, the most either had laughed in days. Laughing so hard you couldn’t breathe, you pressed against him as you leaned to the side. He pushed back into you. You shifted enough so his leg was against your back as you looked up at him, giggles slowly subsiding. The way he looked down at you, a wistful smile on his face, his eyes shining with an amusement you’d almost forgotten as of late, the way his hair fell away from his face… You’d be lying if you claimed it didn’t make your heart skip a beat. 

He closed his eyes, shaking his head, his hair swishing back and forth. “I think you’re onto something, amata mia,” he chuckled. 

“You know, I just have this hunch…” you giggled again. 

He took one of your hands and laced his fingers through yours, staring off in the distance in front of you as he absentmindedly caressed your thumb with his. He let out a heavy sigh, serving as a reminder for the circumstance of the clandestine meeting. 

“I’m sorry you had to… that you saw that…” you mumbled, avoiding his gaze as yours locked on your intertwined hands. 

“Why are you sorry? That’s the least I deserve. It’s karma. It’s karma for something I can never atone for.”

“It’s in the past. It fucking sucked but…” Your eyes closed as you tried to expel your melancholia. “I just wish we could stop hurting each other.”

“I don’t think that’s possible anymore, amore.” You looked up at him again to see how he clenched his jaw as he swallowed. “Tell me how your summoning ritual went,” he murmured.

You couldn’t hide the smile that spread across your face. “I went into the trance and there he was. Started out like a black mist and then slowly got more human-shaped. He said Lilith had sent him. He asked me if I wanted to bond with him and the next thing I know I’m, like, jolted back into my body. And then there he was! I ran right over to him and told Secondo to get him a robe, because he shouldn’t be exposed like that while adjusting to mortality.” While recounting the events to Terzo, you were staring up into the tree, but slowly dragged your eyes to him when you heard a giggle. “What’s so funny? How’s that funny? How would you feel if you were zapped out of your Hell home and thrown into… whatever this is!” You glared at him with half-opened eyes as you lazily, yet emphatically waved your hand around.

“It’s just a very ‘you’ thing to do,” he laughed, shaking his head slightly. “We’ve always given a newly summoned Ghoul their space, approach them slowly and with caution. No one’s ever just ran right up to them.”

“Yeah, because most of the clergy treat them as just ‘The Help’ and forget their human side,” you grumbled.

“I don’t treat my Ghouls like that!” Terzo glaring at you defensively.

“I said ‘most of the clergy.’ Not all. Chill, Stoney Tenerone (big softie),” you reassured with a smirk. He just rolled his eyes. “Anyway, now I know why everyone seemed kind of shocked. So, then we did the blood bond. I spoke to him my way, so I guess that’s also why everyone was shocked. We just kind of went and did the thing… silently. And then I grabbed him and we went to the Ghoul Den and got him his outfits. I got to meet more of the Ghouls and I basically spent all my time with them. Which was perfect because I did not want to deal with Copia.” You wrinkled your nose in disgust.

Terzo scoffed. “Trouble in paradise?”

“1.) Fuck you. 2.) It’s far from paradise. And 3.) He pissed me off.” Terzo raised an eyebrow, wordlessly encouraging you to elaborate. “Well, first he casually dropped the bomb that he knew what was happening to you at the final show after we… made up…” You cleared your throat. “He’s starting to get… possessive. Like– like the power is already going to his head…” Your thoughts drifted for just a moment. Quickly you continued before Terzo got a chance to ask you to explain. “Anyway, the next morning, apparently Imperator told him I needed to make an appearance at breakfast. So, of course, that was the last thing I wanted to do. All I wanted to do was sleep. But noooo. Right as I was about to enter, I kind of clammed up and didn’t want to go in. And you know what he fucking said to me?”

“Something stupid?”

“He compared me walking in there and having everyone’s eyes on me because of whatever they think is going on with me as if it were just like the times when I went in there with my head held high when everyone was whispering about what you were doing behind my back.”

“And you didn’t try to kill him for saying that?”

“Not that time. I just showed him who has more power and that it’s not him. I went and sat in your seat at the clergy table.” You beamed at him triumphantly.

He let out a laugh. “I’m sure Imperator loved that.”

“She told me to move and I just flashed her my eyes and was like ‘I think I’ll stay right here,’” You reenacted, showing him how easily you could switch back and forth from your infernal gaze. “Then he tried to order one of my Ghouls to get him breakfast and I shut that down so fast. He tried to make it seem like I was putting on a show because of what was happening to you, but I basically just said how for once people are gossiping about me and what I’m doing and not whose bed I’m in. That shut him up. Then Secondo saved me by helping me with the ritual prep.”

“So when was the time you wanted to kill Copia?”

“Earlier tonight. He’s getting more… I don’t know. I just don’t fucking trust him. First, he called me la sua diavolessa. Then when I… When we were done… He fucking smirked and was like ‘Oh I see why you were so enamoured with him. Let’s do this again. Go have fun with the Ghouls,” and then used the nickname that they call me! As if it was his to use! It’s fucking not. And the way he fucking knew I got the alcove move from you. Like. He’s just trying to upset me at this point.” You let out your frustration with a heavy exhale through your nose. Suddenly as your train of thought veered slightly from the path it was on, your face softened as you looked up at him. “Hey, do you remember when you asked me if I loved him?”

His brows knitted together, unsure of where you were going with this. He only cautiously nodded in response. 

“I don’t think I ever did. I thought I did, but… He was just giving me what I needed to fill a void. I needed comfort and somehow he was just always… there.” He brushed hair away from your eyes. It was impossible for him to hide the smirk on his face. “Don’t even say it,” you warned with a light tone.

“Say what? That I was right and you would choose me in the end? No, I’d never say something like that,” he teased. “Wait, you saw Lucifer.”

“Speaking of the end of all this… yeah. He mentioned that and how we need to let this play out, let them underestimate the both of us.”

“The both of us?” he reiterated.

“Phantom said the only ones I need to trust are Lilith and Lucifer. It’s us against them, I guess. I sure as shit will never trust Sister Imperator or Copia for that matter…”

“I never did either. Why do you think I didn’t tell anyone about how I… about what I was–”

“I knew it!” you squealed as you bolted upright and turned to face him. “I finally realized that today. Just before I saw Lucifer. I’m sorry I didn’t–”

“No,” he interrupted sternly. “You have nothing to be sorry for. It doesn’t matter if you understand now or not. I should have trusted that you would understand. I should have told you. I never should have–” He stopped himself from continuing. His intake of breath was shaky at best. “There’s a reason she calls herself Imperator,” he snarled. 

“She wants all the control. She… she knows more than she lets on.” Just then, as cliche as it was, a lightbulb went off in your head. “Hey, how did you even think to start looking into the prophecy?”

“Porca puttana!” he growled. “When we first started being intimate, I noticed the mark on your back. I looked up the mark of Lilith, but there was nothing about a prophecy. Until… Our summer holiday. You were in the pool. Sister stood next to me and said something about your birthmark. I responded by saying it was almost as if you had her mark. Within days after getting back, somehow there were texts on my desk that led me to the prophecy. She knew. That bitch fucking knew.”

“She knew you’d get obsessed with it, didn’t she?”

Terzo nodded. “She knew the whole fucking time! Cazzo, and here I was thinking keeping it from everyone was the safe way to do it.”

“How much do you think she knows? How much does Copia know? Fuck. Fuck! Are we still in the dark? Do they know more than us?!” Your voice started to rise with your panic.

Terzo rotated at his torso, putting both hands on your shoulders to turn you towards him. “Listen to me. Lucifer showed himself to you–”

“Yeah and he showed himself to Copia, too. That doesn’t make me–” You cut off Terzo, but he did the same to you.

“Yes, it does. You are special, amata. They chose you.”

Your brows furrowed, realization flashing across your face. With a distant voice, you spoke as if you were trying to convince yourself that these words were true, “He… Lucifer said that it’s because of me they’ll be able to achieve so much…” 

“See?” he said in a hushed tone, moving his hands up to cradle your face. His thumbs brushed soothingly along your cheeks. You couldn’t help but let your eyes close as you leaned into his touch. Resting his forehead on yours he continued, “Believe in yourself, like He does, like I do, like I always have.”

Worry pulled at your eyes as you gently pushed him back enough to look at him. “This kind of shit doesn’t come without a price, even I know that. I just have such a horrible feeling this isn’t going to end well. No matter what we do. I don’t think…” your voice cracked, rendering you unable to speak the words that danced on your lips.

“Nothing is going to keep me from you. Niente.” You nodded in agreement as he pushed himself back, turning so his back was against the tree. He widened his legs, “Vieni (come here),” he beckoned. 

You maneuvered yourself around, scooting up so that your back was flush against his chest. He wrapped his arms around your waist, leaning his chin on your shoulder. Crossing your arms over his, you intertwined your fingers together.

Out of nowhere, your upper body started to shake from the way you were laughing. After teasingly kissing your neck, he drawled, “What’s so funny, amata?”

You moved your head to the side, craning your neck away from him. “Secondo told me how there are ways to keep this a secret. We just have to both be willing and, uh, I think he said we have to just be clever and cunning about it too.” 

“Hmm, davvero (really)?” he murmured, pulling you even closer as he constricted his arms around you while nuzzling into your neck. 

“Mm-hmm,” you hummed in agreement as he started to leave a trail of kisses up the side of your neck. You sighed, turning your head as you leaned back as when he neared your jaw. Bringing your hand up to his face as his lips met yours. When his tongue brushed against your bottom lip, your hand slid behind his head as you let him in. You could feel the vibrations in his chest from his quiet moan against your back after you tethered your fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck and started to pull.

Swiftly, you broke away from the kiss and turned yourself so you were facing him, knees on either side of his hips, straddling him. You grabbed his face, holding him gently in your hands as you leaned down to kiss him with a higher intensity than before. His hands fisted the linen fabric of your shirt at your waist. It didn’t take long for you to start grinding your hips down and against his, but he let go of your shirt to push back your hips. 

It wasn’t until he broke away from the kiss did you fully realize he was stopping you. You eyed him curiously. “What’s… wrong?” you spoke slowly, trying to find your words between the high you still felt and the daze from the kiss. 

“Amore,” he looked up at you, his eyes pleading, “we can’t–”

“No, we shouldn’t.” You leaned back in and started to kiss his neck.  “Can’t and shouldn’t… are two… different things,” you muttered in between continuous kisses.

His hands moved up your arms to your shoulders where he gently pushed you back again. Your hands slid down to his chest. His eyes were watered down with sadness. He shook his head.

You pushed back to get a better look at him. Your lips parted in disbelief and disappointment. “Why?” you asked, cocking your head to the side. “Is it because of the tree?”

“Wh-what? No? Wait, what kind of spell do you think I cast over this tree?”

“People can’t, ya know, do stuff under it?”

He sighed, shaking his head at you. He wanted his demeanor to remain serious, but he couldn’t help but crack a small smile at you. “No, amore. Wait, how high are you? We’ve ‘done stuff’ here on more than one occasion. It’s not that you can’t lie with another under this tree, but that you can’t lie to another. Very simple misunderstanding I never bothered to correct to ensure Siblings avoided this area… ” he chortled. 

“How the hell could I forget?” you giggled as you dropped your head into your palm. “Hey, wait!” you exclaimed, snapping your head up to glare at him. “So, now you don’t want me? What the fuck, Terzo! Who knows if we’ll get this chance again before the ascension or what’s even going to happen after it!?”

“If we go through with this, I’m not… I don’t know if I’ll be able to hide it, to hide from you.”

“Or you just don’t want to be kept a secret. Terzo, you’re gonna have to figure it out if we’re gonna make this work.”

He blinked at you. “Che..?” When it sunk in what you were saying, he moved to get out from under you. You followed suit as he stood up. “No. No! Don’t tell me you’ve had a change of heart.”

“I could– I will never love Copia the way that I love you. Fuck, I can’t even lie to you here! I already told you I never loved Copia, that it was never like that! It was never like what we have!”

“I can’t. I can’t risk losing you.”

“You won’t. I’m willing– I want to make this work. Even if we have to hide it. You’re the one I want, Terzo.”

“I’m the one you want,” he scoffed. “Yeah, you want me, but you won’t fucking choose me!”

“You know why I can’t. I told you already! My hands are tied! I have to see this through the way They want– the way Lucifer wants.”

“I don’t give a fuck what Lucifer wants!” he yelled, throwing his arms up in the air as he moved past you. You were quicker though, grabbing his arm and pulling him back to face you.

“This is bigger than us. Bigger than our relationship,” you said, your jaw clenched as you tried to fight the raging fire that was threatening to consume you from the inside out. “Terzo, I love you. It’s always been you.”

“But you’re his now,” he muttered. He kept his voice low in an attempt to keep it from cracking, but you could hear the tremble that he couldn’t hide.

“He’s the only one that thinks that.” You let go of his arm only to take his hand in yours. “Terzo, please,” you begged.

He moved his arm in a circular motion, breaking free from your hold and took a step away from you. “Don’t. Don’t do this to me,” he warned. His voice cracked as he couldn’t stop the tears that welled up in his eyes. 

You stepped towards him, your hand outstretched. He shook his head, hair falling to cover his eyes. A tear cascaded down his cheek. “Don’t,” he repeated, his voice barely above a whisper, before he stormed back towards the Ministry. 

Your face dropped as you watched him flee. You couldn’t call out to him; you didn’t know what to say. Any possible word, even his name, died in your throat. Tears now pricked your own eyes. Backing up, you shook your head, and kept going until your back hit the sycamore behind you. Slowly you slid down along the rough bark. Without taking your eyes off his retreating form, he soon blurred from the tears that began to fall in rapid succession. Pulling your knees up to your chest, you broke down. 

Suddenly you felt warmth beside you. You looked up to see Phantom putting his arms around you, pulling you close to him. Turning to bury your face in his shirt, you sobbed.

There was no comfort in knowing you would laugh in the face of those who think they hold the power, in knowing that somehow eventually you would be standing beside the one you loved. It didn’t matter that Lucifer himself was the one that told you this information. All of that was in the future, a future so unclear and shrouded in a fog so thick, it might as well be nonexistent. Right now, all you were left with was the overwhelming feeling of your heart breaking, over and over again.

part xii | part xiv

taglist: @beelzebzb @bitchywitchygardener @calitmediondell @copias-juicebox @copiasprincipessa @da-rulah @deetz-ghuleh @discountdemonwarehouse @fishwithtitz @ghostfangirlsweden @ivycasket @justa19 @ladyrevealedofcloak @lurancyvenom @popiaswife @sodoswitchimage @water-ghoulette @zombiesnips-blog

[teardrop-scales]

For once a number one

(Adam x female!reader)

A.N: this is purely self indulgent, but I decided to publish this anyway. Hurt-comfort I guess and general fluff, although this is Adam we're talking about, so of course there are swear words and some suggestive stuff.

Please note that english is not my first language, so there might be some mistakes. Also, my Adam is probably ooc.

(Also I suck at beginnings, endings and titles, sorry ><)

You don't even hear him come in.

No wonder, since you are currently blasting his band's music on full volume. Mostly 'Stick it to the man' to be honest; until now it always helped you cheer up and relax a little if you were angry at something or someone. But this time even this wasn't helping. Still you refuse to turn it off because you love your boyfriend's voice and his music (even though you won't ever tell him that, his ego is big enough as it is).

So here you are, laying on the couch with 'Stick it to the Man' blasting in the background, still in your more formal and nicer clothes, not even having the strength to change into more comfy ones, only forcing yourself to take off your boots once you got inside.

Pathetic much.

And so, that's why you almost have a heart attack when the loud music suddenly stops and you hear the voice of your boyfriend, this time talking and standing a few meters away from the couch.

"Heyyy, I see your music taste is still intact, babes! Though if you wanted to hear my singing, you could've just asked me for a private concert. For a price, 'course~."

You don't bother to look up at him, but you can imagine the smug grin on his face and the wiggling of his eyebrows.

To be honest, you thought you had more time until Adam comes home. You didn't want him to see you like this. He never was very good at this 'mushy, sappy emotional shit' (his words). And you really don't have the strength now to deal with his mocking and teasing.

So you just groan in response.

Even though Adam isn't usually really good at reading people and their emotions, your state makes it clear even for him that something is wrong.

"Geez, the fuck is up your ass?" He hisses, walking towards the couch and putting a cold palm on your forehead to check for fever. "You sick or somethin'?"

You, albeit a bit reluctantly, swat his hand away.

"I'm not sick. I have some other problems, you wouldn't understand." You respond, still laying on the couch, pathways made from tears still visible and fresh on your cheeks.

Adam scoffs and puts his hands on his hips.

"Try me, bitch."

You finally look him in the eyes, skeptically.

"Are you really gonna listen to me yap about this? Without cutting me off and mocking me?" Somehow you want him to both go away and stay right beside you.

"You always listen to me when I'm fucking mad at something and need to talk it out." He shrugs. "The least I can do is return the favor for once, since I'm so generous and in a good mood today. Now move your ass."

Adam makes the 'shoo' gesture with his hand, and you move a bit to the side on the couch, making space for him to sit down. Once he plops down on the couch, you put your head in his lap.

"Where to even start." You say in a bit of a sarcastic manner, your voice breaking just a bit once again.

You tell him everything, somehow managing to not break down again during the tale. You tell him how your friend got bored of you when another, seemingly more interesting and fun person than you appeared. How when the tree of you hang out, they paid more attention to the new person, only rarely talking to you and when they did, they were a lot colder towards you. It wasn't fucking fair. You were there longer and you always tried your best to be a good friend, the best you could be. And it still wasn't enough.

Surprisingly, Adam kept his promise and didn't cut you off even once. Instead, he was on his phone the whole time, but with his other hand he played with your hair. He only let out some hums of acknowledgement every now and then, not looking at you at all. It may have seemed like he was disinterested in your problem, but the way his fist clenched around the strands of your hair during certain parts of your story suggested otherwise.

"...and that's the situation." You sigh heavily finishing your rant after a while.

Adam scoffs and puts his phone down.

"Well, what do you want me to say, bitch?" He shrugs. "I mean, yeah, sure sucks to be you I guess, but why the fuck are ya getting so worked up over this?"

"Well, that's because--"

"Honestly, thought you were tougher than that. Thought you were a badass, not a pathetic little cunt--"

"Adam, you promised you wouldn't cut me off." You remind him coldly, lifting your head from his lap and glaring at him.

Adam rolls his eyes.

"Fine, fine, jeez." He tsks. "Sorry, babe."

You stay quiet for a few seconds, searching for the right words. This is tricky, your boyfriend is not the best at dealing with emotions like this. He can't relate because he has a totally different strategy when someone doesn't like him. Heck, most of Heaven doesn't like him, he just doesn't seem to care. He always makes it seem so easy. You envy him in that aspect, you envy his ability to not give a fuck.

"You know what?" You finally say, causing him to raise an eyebrow. "I wouldn't care if this was a first situation like this. I wouldn't give a damn. But the truth is, this happens to me every single motherfucking time I manage to form a meaningful relationship with someone." Despite your best efforts, frustration tears appear in your eyes. "I'm tired of this. Tired of being thrown aside once everyone gets bored of me, tired of always being second-best, of being the spare friend and 'number two'. "

You shake your head and then say quietly:

"I bet sooner or later you're gonna get bored of me and leave too."

Silence falls. You don't dare to look Adam in the eyes as you sit beside him on the couch, but at a slight distance.

You're not looking at him, so you fail to notice the flabbergasted and almost offended look on his face.

"The FUCK!?" Adam suddenly breaks the silence with his angry shout as you look at him confused. "I'm not fucking going anywhere! You're stuck with me babes, whether you like it or not. Also, geez, I know I'm a major jerk but I'm not like those trash you call friends!"

You finally dare to look at him, amazed. He really seems put off by your suggestion. You feel your heart flutter at his words and his statement that he isn't gonna leave no matter what. Despite his many flaws, Adam always has been very loyal and dedicated to you. You feel ashamed that you doubted him. Before you can apologize however, he continues his rant:

"And anyway, fuck them--"

You raise an eyebrow in amusement at his wording. Adam sees your expression and scowls before smirking.

"Look who's dirty minded now, bitch~" He teases you, earning a light slap on the shoulder.

Adam chuckles and you roll your eyes, but with a small smile dancing on your lips.

"Whatever." You say, wanting him to continue.

"I meant like, stop giving a fuck about those fake-ass people, y'know! You fucking rock babe, and if they can't see that, it's their loss. Don't waste your precious time on those who don't deserve it."

Your smile kept growing the longer he kept talking. Of course, his rant didn't magically solve your problem, you were still mad and sad, but less now. Because now you are sure that Adam will always be on your side.

"...you should focus on people who really deserve your time. Like me." Adam finishes with a smug grin as you slap his arm lightly, both of you chuckling.

Then you climb in his lap and hug him by the neck, minding the spikes on his collar, but still pressing your face in the crook between his neck and shoulder. Adam smells of his usual cologne and you can sense a faint scent of ribs, which he must've had for lunch.

"Thank you, honey." You say softly. "I think I needed to hear that."

You can feel the First Man shiver slightly at the sweet nickname. You know that that's his weakness, even though he always tries to act like he doesn't like it.

You wait for him to tease you or try to make this moment sexual like he usually does. You expect Adam to go back to his usual annoying self. But instead, he sighs through his nose and slowly wraps his arms around your back and waist, hugging you tightly and pressing you even more into his soft chest and stomach. He even wraps his beautiful golden wings around you for extra comfort.

"Anytime, sweetie." Adam says softly while caressing your back gently.

Something swells in your chest at the nickname he almost never uses. The only times Adam uses this particular one is when he's mocking you or someone or when he's feeling especially soft and at ease. Even though you two have been dating for quite some time now, you only recall one or two instances of him using "sweetie" as a nickname for you in a soft manner, not counting now of course.

You smile into his neck and raise your head slightly to press a kiss to his cheek.

You both stay silent for a while, just enjoying each other's presence and touch.

"You know" Adam says suddenly, still embracing you. "If you need friends or some shit, I can set up a meeting for you with my girls and Lute. They've been up my ass recently about wanting to 'get to know you' ".

"That's actually not a bad idea." You reply, pressing your cheek against his.

"Yeah, it's a win-win situation, babe." Adam muses, squeezing you momentarily. "You get new friends, and I get some fucking peace from their pestering."

You giggle.

You were scared to talk to him about your problems, knowing how he is. But now you realize that was stupid. Adam is a jerk to everyone but you. He's always been more patient, gentle and soft with you than with anyone else. You feel really ashamed for thinking he wouldn't listen to you and support you in your problems, even if they are trivial to him.

"I'm sorry for not believing that you'd listen to me and my problems." You sigh. "And I'm sorry for saying that you'd leave me and comparing you to my ex-friends."

"Yeah, you should be fucking sorry." Adam grumbles, grabbing you to lean you away from him a bit and then embracing your face with his palms. "You're one of the best things to ever happen to me, truly babe. I love you, you're my bitch and I wouldn't trade you for anyone."

You smile brightly, placing your smaller hands on his bigger ones on your cheeks. Then Adam continues before you can say anything, like he usually does.

"And if I ever hear you doubting yourself like that again, I'll literally fuck these thoughts out of you. I'll fuck you until you start to see yourself as a motherfucking goddess." He threatens with a grin.

You laugh. This time not a giggle or chuckle, but a big, bubbly laugh. You don't fail to notice the soft, fleeting smile which appears on your boyfriend's face at the sound of you laughing, but don't comment on it.

"Don't threaten me with a good time, darling." You tease after you calm down, putting your hands on his cheeks and squeezing them a bit. "I love you too."

Then you lean towards him and carefully place your lips on his in a gentle kiss. And for once, Adam doesn't make the kiss more heated, instead kissing you back just as softly.

For once, you feel completely and utterly loved and appreciated. For once you're someone's number one.