#like im damn aware that was NOT the intention at ALL but. holy shit holy fuck

[fettery-fetterie]

Trying so hard to not go overly insane over bottle edition's ost but holy shit. Hooooly fuck hoOOOOOOly shit HooooooOOOOly hell

[oreo-creampie]

th- THANKS FOR THE FOLLOW OMG?!1!1?1!?#?$3!3?3!3(3(4?_1(1!3?49(

HOLY SHIT IM SO FUCKING STARSTRUCK

oh!!!!! and!!! do you have any tips on writing smut that involves a hard shell character (whos rly mean on the outside but he would die for u in reality)

aaking because you're so fuuuucking good at it

i plan to binge your masterlists today to study more about smut writing too! (for my upcoming genshin fic that is)

hehe, thank you so much for the follow! im so damn awestruck right now and it was such a treat waking up to your notif!

Ok so this is half mini analysis, and part me just gushing.

Toji is my favorite when it comes to hardass who is soft for his s/o. He’s cold, brash, upfront, defensive, and calculating. It’s easier when I can answer to why they are like that. Which is where we get into character back story.

Toji neglected and beaten by his by his parents wouldn’t have an easy attachment style. Cold, standoffish and crude due to barely being shown a scrap of love had made him a rather heartless man. In reality he would be a walking red flag to stay away from.

It’s the calculating part that majorly comes into play with him being a softie. Chances are when he starts fooling around with someone it’s for two things sex and money. He is aware that being charming, using his good looks and sweet talking is going to help him get his way.

Would likely brush off/ignore most advances towards a romantic relationship, a sexual one would be easier to get with him. Which might lead to a romantic one, if he starts staying afterward because it’s a free place to crash and morning sex

He would crave while also reject softer intimacy. Such as hand holding, cuddling, forehead kisses, hugging you close. It starts off with pulling you in his lap, putting a sexual tone to it makes it feel less vulnerable.

Since I doubt he was valued, or validated emotionally so when he finally gets that from someone who sees toji for toji, flaws and all, he is a bit of a sucker for it. When he drinks a little too much, he opens up about his childhood, and hearing you validate how shitty it was and how he should have been treated better makes his heart beat faster. Has him softening up for the reader.

It helps to think about Toji at all given stages of the relationship within any given fic. From when they met to him falling in love, it would be a process that would take years before the finally said it.

But he would show it in his actions, for being a smooth talker he fumbles when it comes to vulnerable emotions. And with the reader he would be nothing but vulnerable when he is falling for them.

So while he might still sound rough, his sweet actions let you know more about his true intention. But at the same time Toji can't be too mean, otherwise that jumps into abusive territory.

As a calculating man he is very aware of his words and their affect. And once he cares for you, he doesn't want to hurt you. Unless it for kinky fun times. So this is where I head canon him changing small part of himself, this is where the softening begins.

I try to think about it from Toji’s perspective. Abused, neglected, beaten and hated on by most of the people around him. The thrived outta spite and became hard because of it.

Now there is this beauty of a person who is gentle with him, seeing his flaws but accepts him anyway, loves him anyway. Gives him all the patience and understanding he needs, at first its off putting. He isn't used to it, but he kind of likes it.

He would put some space but find himself thinking about the size difference of your hand. The warmth of your smile, the sweet way you say his name, the sparkle in your eyes that reserved for him.

He wants to hold you close, check in on your safety. So he comes back, you don't have questions for where he is been and there is no anger for his absent. Just concern on if he is taking care of himself.

Never having someone give a fuck if he eats, breaths or sleeps would be the norm. So you worrying for his well being is welcomed and addictive so he wants more. It has him coming back for more.

When in a relationship he is loyal, he’s smart and knows that eventually you'll catch him cheating. Every cheater gets caught at some point, so once he has chosen you. You’re his everything

Romantizing the reader through their eyes. Of course they are gonna soften up for you, you’re their everything, the one person who they feel comfortable with, who holds they heart. Toji love sick when it comes to his love, so attached to his partner he is willing to kill for them

They know you like a book and you can read him just as well. He knows he doesn't have to be the most love dovey always. That you understand he is rough around the edges, but love them anyway

[carelessflower]

First things first, I’m in awe of how you managed to narrate a story in just 1500 words. Could not be me. That is a great talent babygirl.

Secondly, I usually avoid a certain tags but this one was anyways part of the problemalec event so I was plenty aware of what I might stumble upon. Also, it’s written by you so ofc I’m gonna read the fuck out of it.

Okay, now to the reaxxxx

1. Two leaders faced, one lost, leaving the other begging for mercy, for anything they could do in exchange for their life. There was always a way, of course.

I WONDER WHAT THEY COULD GET IN EXCHANGE HSJSJSJSKSJS

2. Alec remembered his last birthday, trapped between Magnus's heated body and the cold hood of his car, lips stuffed full of Magnus’s cock.

Who wouldn’t want a birthday like that. I’m a whore for Magnus Bane and I respect Alec here. He’s doing it right.

3. “You knew the feds were coming.” Magnus could feel how hard Alec was clenching his shirt, the heat radiating from his body, all caused by him. “And you just fucked off without telling me. You fucking left me there with them.”

I love drama but more than that I love enemies to lover drama. Also mafia shit always hits different.

4. “You’re a coward.” Alec gritted out, and Magnus braced himself for what was coming, what he would end. “You rather get me fucking killed than admit you’re in love with me.”

YOU TELL HIM ALEC. You sucked his dick while on gunpoint. You get his ass.

5. I have no intention of becoming your lovesick boy toy, nor doodling love notes in your diary Alec. I’ve made it very clear.”

Me when someone assumes I have feelings for them lmao.

6. How dare he show up? How dare he not show up sooner?

Something something about Malec and weddings (and not to each other lmao)

7. But Magnus never begged.

Are we sure about this? Are we? Are we? I need to know more of the meetings that happened between the two.

8. Jason, pls run away. They’re crazy, you’re dodging a bullet there babygirl.

Overall, 11/10. Amazinf execution, showstopping storytelling. I have no comments on the smut except that IT WAS FILTHY AND YOU ARE GOING TO HELL JAJSJSKSJSJS

we need more unhinged and crazy writers like you in the fandom. Pls keep being you.

I love you Anh. ❤️🌈🌻 Pls spray some holy water on yourself now byeee!!!

as bestie one commented, i write like i chop words into sentences. i am allergic to not telling while telling something.

they so sick the only thing making nobody catch up to their shenanigans is becuz all the ones caught up are dead lol

what better birthday gift than magnus MAGNUM **** ;))))

alec bebe mouth full heart full but magnus can't say the same

u r so me what is love can we eat it

what are wedding without the groom's ex dramatically show up?

magnus did do some begging ;))) but alec usually too blissed to notice

at least jason not gonna get busted in his own damn house lmao

no amount of holy water can cleanse me im basically elite!!!!! i will rule hell!

[anachronistic-falsehood]

You said something about how ult!Dirk and BGD both depend on Jake for their existence and im 👀👀👀👀👀 PLEASE give us the full rant I'm begging

ANON I AM GOINF TO WRITE A FULL ESSAY ABOUT THIS NOW, THANK YOU

OKKKKKK SO. I’m gonna start with Brain Ghost Dirk because holy shit, as a Dirk splinter he is so fucking interesting. He’s not a typical Dirk splinter. Dirk is completely unaware that BGD exists. Dirk knows about all of his other splinters, like Bro, and had an intentional hand in creating some of them, like Hal and Brobot. He has no fucking idea that BGD exists, and yet BGD could not exist without Dirk’s Prince of Heart abilities. Jake wasn’t even aware that he created BGD himself! He just showed up and Jake had to deal with the fact that he managed to make a perfect copy of Dirk Strider that now lives in his head. BGD was a complete accident.

Setting aside the fact that BGD is essentially Jake and Dirk’s offspring, Jake just. holds this splinter of Dirk’s being in his head using his freaky ass hope powers. BGD has always been there, and he always will be. Whether or not Dirk is alive, BGD is far from fading, and he’ll likely be around as long as Jake is alive.

So BGD depends on Jake for his very existence because of Jake’s hope powers; that much is obvious, considering BGD literally lives in Jake’s brain. As long as there’s a Jake out there, there’s a Brain Ghost Dirk.

But the existence of Brain Ghost Dirk begs the question: is Ult!Dirk actually his ultimate self?

Answer: fuck no he isn’t! Ult!Dirk has no god damn clue that Brain Ghost Dirk exists! He just assumes that he’s gone ultimate, because he remembers everything from all the dead Dirks from doomed timelines and every other splinter he has, except for BGD. He hasn’t gone ultimate; he just thinks that because he’s used to splitting his being into fractals, that’s the reason he somehow hasn’t died from becoming an amalgamation of those pieces.

But he still doesn’t know about Brain Ghost Dirk.

Ult!Dirk is like a shitty old iPhone consistently running on 5% battery power, and the moment someone drops him on the ground he’s going to shatter. He hasn’t saved his shit to iCloud either. When that phone is gone he’s done for. But he’s out here saying “no no it’s fine, it’s built different, this thing hasn’t failed me yet so it won’t fail me now,” when in reality he’s this close to losing all his data forever.

The moment he absorbs BGD into the rest of his being or BGD stops existing, Ult!Dirk will die, just like Ult!Rose and Ult!Dave. His problem is that he doesn’t have a backup plan. He doesn’t have a robot to download his soul and memories into like Rosebot and Davebot did. If Ult!Dirk dies, he’s dead forever. There’s no bringing him back, unless Rosebot and Terezi can whip up a robot in five minutes or somehow shove his soul into a pair of sunglasses.

But there are currently two Jakes: Meat!Jake and Candy!Jake. So aren’t there technically two Brain Ghost Dirks keeping Ult!Dirk alive?

Considering we haven’t heard from Meat!Jake yet, he’s basically as good as dead to the story, because I know damn well the writers won’t try to include two Jakes who already have similar storylines in the same narrative. Meat!Jake is probably out of the question when it comes to BGD, considering the writers forgot about him. However, his absence from HS^2 and his overall irrelevance can be explained by speculating that his hope has been shattered by Ult!Dirk forcing the narrative to make Jake fall in love with him against his will and then completely breaking his heart. Meat!Jake has lost all hope, having all his friends abandon him to either go play god on some distant planet, chase after those friends who are busy playing god, or become a dictator on Earth C. Meat!Jake is broken. He has nothing left. He might not even have his own Brain Ghost Dirk anymore.

It’s possible that Ult!Dirk could have accidentally killed Meat!Jake’s BGD by messing with the narrative to the point that he made Meat!Jake have a full-on hopeless breakdown. Dirk destroys the self, and it’s entirely possible that he destroyed part of Meat!Jake, including BGD, in manipulating Jake that much. That’s just speculation though; however, I think it’s rather interesting that Ult!Dirk could still be so self-destructive that he would accidentally kill one of his splinters without even noticing, and it would explain Meat!Jake’s absence from the story.

With Meat!Jake’s BGD most certainly dead or completely irrelevant to the narrative, this leaves Candy!Jake as the sole living Jake with a Brain Ghost Dirk, the only splinter Ult!Dirk hasn’t yet absorbed. Because of this, Candy!Jake is the only person singlehandedly keeping Ult!Dirk from keeling over. If Candy!Jake dies, so does Ult!Dirk.

I’m going to leave this off by saying this: Ult!Dirk is still extremely self destructive. He claims he’s going to die once his job at playing god is finished, Paradox Space will rule the death as Just, and every single Dirk will be dead forever. If he ever meets Candy!Jake and learns that he’s not ultimate and one little splinter of himself will still survive when he dies, what the fuck is he going to DO?

THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK

[v3ct0rgraph1cs]

oh my, what a villainous tea party!

I’m quite proud of this one, very happy I found Disconn (the tv guy) again. I was rummaging through old sketchbooks from like 4-5 years ago and found some ideas for him and I was like “holy shit why did I never develop this cheeky fuck” and then proceeded to do exactly that

but yeah, I’ve got a name for the world I’m putting all the time god people in, as well as Shade (the shadow person) and Disconn, and I’m naming it To Believe the Untrue, or TBtU for short. Yes this means I’m going to write it out but not in the way I’m going with VoA, no no no, I plan on making it a webcomic >:D

Yeah thats right im sucking it up and finally committing to something, oh boy oh boy am I glad about that. Now it’s just the issue of figuring out how to draw backgrounds, oh won’t that be a joy! haha! hah! hahah! aHHAHAAA

all jokes aside though I’m thinking about maybe finding someone (or multiple but not likely) to help out with backgrounds because I know its gonna make me go insane and im not ready to do that just yet thanks. But yeah no I’ve already started writing out lines for it, not in sequential order of course I just like taking ideas and figuring out the inbetweens as I go.

What do you expect im an animator not a writer. Sure I act like I know what im doing but do you really think I have a damn clue? HAH!

no.

no i do not.

Also I have written too many lines for Disconn and I’ve started to talk like him and I’m not sure how to feel about it but that’s all fine and dandy, yep

before anyone points it out yes I’m aware Shade’s hands are backwards, it is intentional. She does that because it feels more natural and the rules of how hands work do not apply to him because their hands are not connected to them whatsoever so she can literally have their hands go wherever the hell they want

this is definitely not an excuse for me to not have to redo their hand placement because I didn’t realize they were backwards until AFTER i rendered everything mhm yes yes

[courtlyharlequin]

Hey!! I was wondering if i can have a candied rose frappuccino with floyd please. Thanks 😊

Sugar Addict

Warning(s): mild spice, lowkey spicy ending

A/N: I went feral. What is plot? I ended up writing more than expected. Also, I was too lazy to proofread so I apologize for my horrible grammar. Feel free to correct me! I should probably get a beta reader... 

Context: This is an AU. Yes, a coffeeshop AU, but some things are different. These characters are aged up and NRC is actually a college.

It was unexplainable, this feeling. Twilight. The sun was setting. Traffic ensued streets as people poured out of work and into their vehicles, all with one destination: home. But for you, home was the last place you wanted to go. You were a student who did not need to fret over something like a job. You had the convenience of asking for a ride or traveling by foot to reach local destinations not far from your oh so prestigious school. At this moment, at twilight, you were experiencing the convenience of the latter. Well, a normal person would not call it a convenience. These days made taking a stroll an absurd pastime. But right now, it was both a convenience and a pastime. The roads were clogged by a massive sea of cars. Your nose crinkled at the stench of gasoline. Choosing to traverse by foot was more pragmatic. You were in a rush as well. Your destination might close any minute now!

From the inside of any of the vehicles on the street, you were akin to a hooligan. A scrambling, mad hooligan. Not only were you running in the opposite direction of where these cars were going, you were also running as your life depended on it. Therefore, you were a crazy person who was running into the city suburbs at a somewhat late hour rather than going home. Mothers in said vehicles shook their heads in dismay, praying their children were safe at home. But, you could not care any less. Night Raven College’s headmaster was very lenient on curfews and was susceptible to bribery if all else fails. But to be fair, your destination was not something to be frowned upon. It was something to laugh at, really. The place you were so desperate to get to was none other than a café.

More specifically, Café Rosé . Cheesy, chessy, yes, you were aware. The café was notorious for their supposed love potion of a latte, but you weren’t coming for that. You wanted to try their Candied Rose Frappuccino. You were a lover of all sweets; You could never live with yourself if you didn’t try it. Of course, this coffee shop was not going anywhere nor was this beverage a limited one. You simply were in the mood for it. It was craving, a whim, a last minute decision.

You sighed heavily, leaning against the café’s exterior walls. With one deep breath, you pushed the rose-tinted glass door open. The chime signaled your entrance. You braced yourself for a  barista to question your hazed, flushed state… but it never came. Still heaving, you scanned the shop. You made your way to the counter to check for employees in the back room.

Thud!

“Hey, Shrimpy! Café’s closed,” a voice glowered.

You spun your heel, making eye contact with a barista with a disheveled appearance– his aquamarine hair was slightly unkempt, his tie was unraveled and dangled loosely around his neck, dress shirt unbuttoned down to the point where his collar bone was exposed with his sleeves rolled up which furthermore accentuated his lean yet muscular figure. It was all too much to take in. He put his weight onto the nearest table. Ah, the thud came from a chair he just stacked… but nevermind that-!! The moment he moved into that position, he exposed a bit of his cleavage. Hot damn he might be lean at first glance, but he was built like a Greek god. This should be illegal! A barista should not be dressing– let alone be looking– like that. Everyone would suffer from a cardiac arrest from such a heartthrob! You quickly averted your attention to the café’s schedule.

“The business hours sign says you guys close at seven. It’s six fifty-two right now,” you said, holding up your phone.

“Close enough. Get lost.”

He walked over to you suavely, leaning over you and against the door frame to flip the open-closed sign over so that it’s closed side faced the streets. It was meant to be a gesture of mockery and intimidation, but holy hell… you were flustered more than anything. He was tall from afar but up close he was huge!! You even got a better look at his chest. Well defined, if you don’t say so yourself. Wait–

You shoved him back, “Not even for a to-go order?”

“Nope. Don’t feel like it.”

“But you’re not closed yet!”

“But I don’t wanna,” he whined.

“Why?”

“What?”

“I asked you ‘why’?”

“Can’t you just come back tomorrow and let me call it a day? I’m tired.”

“That’s not an excuse.”

“I ran all the way here just to get something–”

“Should’ve done it earlier,” he shrugged, returning to his chore.

“Okay. Fine. Is there anyone else here to serve me? Since you’re too ‘tired’?”

“Sorry, Shrimpy, but they all went home.”

“Ugh! Don’t call me something that makes us seem so familiar. I’m not that short anyway...” you huffed.

He snickered, walking behind the register, “Alright then, Shr-im-p-y~! What would you like to order that you just had to come in at the last minute today?”

While you were relieved he gave into serving you a drink, the way he enunciated your unwanted nickname was irksome.

“I’ll have one Candied Rose Frappuccino.”

“Oh thank god it isn’t that latte.”

“You mean the Rosé Latte?”

“Mhm,” he hummed, loudly tapping on the cash register, “Everyone has been flocking here and only ordering that. I’m so tired of making the same order everyday.”

“Sorry, I’m not into hot beverages. Just a person who likes sweets.”

“Cute,” he cooed, handing you your receipt.

You watched as he messily wrote “Shrimpy” onto your cup.

“Can I get your name?” you asked.

“My name?”

“Yeah.”

“What for?”

“Somehow you’re slowly becoming my favorite barista.”

Partially a lie, partially the truth. He was your favorite because he was so fine. You only wanted his name in case you ever decided to write a review on your bitter first meeting with him or if you came across the manager. Petty, yes, but it annoyed you that much.

“Floyd, Floyd Leech,” he grinned.

You checked the receipt and sat down at the barstools in front of the barista’s worktable, watching him intently as he began to work on your order. Well, half your attention was actually on his hand movements. Your mind was having an internal battle about how shameful you were to fantasize about his back muscles, mentally undressing him. The fact that there were only you two in the coffeehouse did not help either. The silence, at its surface, was calming, but, at its core, it was awkward. With the occasional clinks of utensils and the sound of coffee being brewed and blended into a frappuccino,  the lack of noise left your mind to wander.

“Just because he’s good looking does not make up for the fact that he was rude,” you chided yourself.

Floyd cocked his head: “Hey. What are you staring at?”  

He looked behind him as if there was actually something of interest. You saw your drink in his hand. He held it close to his chest, withholding it, waiting for your answer.

“Oh? Um.. nothing? I was just zoning out. I’m tired from running all the way here.”

“Shrimpy’s no fun,” he pouted.

“My name is (y/n), not Shrimpy.”

“You’re short, jumpy, and huggable like a shrimp~”

“I am not that short!”

“Oh-!!! You remind me of Goldfish. You both get so mad for some reason,” he laughed.

“Listen here–”

The barista took a swig of your order. He didn’t take the dome-shaped lid out. He didn’t even drink it with a straw. He just… straight up… put his lips on the lid and drank the contents from the rim. You halted your rant, appalled by his audacity.

“You talk too much, Shrimpy.”

In this total silence, someone, if there were someone here, would have heard your sanity and patience snapped.

“Listen here, Floyd Leech. That was awfully rude of you. Actually, from the beginning, you were so rude! From getting into my personal bubble to calling me names when I told you to stop. And now you drink my order? And right in front of me too?! So, so, rude-!!! I just–”

“Wow. What an expansive vocabulary you have,” he glared, twiddling with the collar of his shirt and somehow exposing more of his collarbone.

You leaned over the counter, reaching for your beverage, heat traveling up your cheeks, “I’m not done yet! Just because you’re hot does not mean you can dress like that and automatically get a free pass to do these things! Do you have any idea how distracting that was?? Now–wHAAA!!”

You pounced at him. Your toes hung on the edge of the barstool, your left arm wrapped around Floyd’s neck, and your right arm stretched out in an attempt to reach the drink in Floyd’s hand. Much to your annoyance, he raised it higher than you could ever hope to reach. If he took anymore steps back, you would most likely flop onto the barista’s side of the table face-first. With the drink in his left hand, his weight (and yours) was shifted onto his right arm which conveniently propped itself against the countertop behind him. You wondered what people on the road thought when they saw what was going on inside the café.

It was early evening with a decent amount of cars on the street before the storefront. Nearly twenty minutes since you came into the café and here you are– without your order, curfew approaching steadily, and no sign of getting your frappuccino anytime soon. Instead, you were sprawled across the counter, a test of your flexibility and modesty.

“I didn’t really think Shrimpy was this bold, this naughty,” Floyd chuckled.

Ah shit. Your anger got the best of you. Your verbal filter was removed and all of your thoughts slipped past your conscious and common sense. His sly grin did not help at all. Your close proximity enhanced your blush. The way you clung onto him caused his shirt to slide off his left shoulder and with the position you were in, you had a front seat to all his glory. What a sticky wicket this was.

“I just wanted something sweet to drink,” you panted, fisting his shirt in your petite palms, frustration washing over you.

You were on the verge of tears. Floyd sighed, lowering the cup just a bit, and took a few steps back as he carefully let you slide onto the barista’s side of the counter. However, your beverage was still out of reach.

“You’re such a snowflake,” he mumbled.

You clung to him, still, using him as leverage to reach your order, “Am not. This wouldn’t have happened if you just let me have my coffee!”

“You mean this hell of a sugary confection??”

“Yes? I mean I wouldn’t know because I haven’t even tried it yet,” you grunted, jumping at it like a fish trying to catch the bait.

“Oi, (y/n), can I kiss you?”

That was the first time he used your actual name instead of “Shrimpy” ever since you met. You would rejoice, but the following words were out of the question. His tone made it sound more like a demand than a request of consent.

“Excuse me?!”

“You wanted to try the drink right?”

“Yes, but it’s right there in your hand! So if you would just let me have it, I’ll stop annoying you!”

“The taste is lingering in my mouth. It’s so sweet. I wanna get rid of it…”

“Get some water.”

He squeezed his right arm around your waist, bringing you closer to his face,  “But I want to kiss you~!”

“Well, since you drank out of it, if you let me have it, then we can have an indirect kiss!”

The temperature of the coffee shop was just unbearable at this point. And worst of all, this was self-inflicted. You didn’t have to tolerate him. Frankly, you should have left the moment he told you the café was “closed”.  You didn’t have to pounce on him and end up in this painstakingly uncomfortable position either. Moreover, you were sweating from embarrassment from your suggestion. An indirect kiss! That was such a childish thing to fret about and here you were, regretting your own words.

“That’s no fun,” Floyd said, taking another sip of your frappuccino.

“Hey–mmpff!!”

Despite how he manhandled you thus far, he kissed you very tenderly. His lips were soft, warm even. As much as you wanted to push him back and scold him for taking away something as precious as your first kiss, you couldn't. Everything just… felt right. Your grip on his shirt loosened. Before, you held them in your palms in anger, a way of intimidation, a sign to show him that you weren’t going to back down even if he was teasing you with no mercy. But now, you held Floyd’s collar to close the space between you two. You were this close to each other, but it wasn’t close enough.

You gasped as he nibbled your lip. Floyd took it upon himself to invite his tongue over to your wet cavern. A sugary substance flooded your taste buds. Ah… he never swallowed your drink.... Not that it mattered. You gulped it in one breath, continuing on with your tango of tongues. If Floyd wasn’t supporting your waist, you might’ve melted away into this temporary bliss. You momentarily broke away from him to catch your breath. The distance between you two was barely five centimeters. He growled lowly, taking two steps forward, pushing you towards the bar. He smashed his lips against yours, a clear sign for you not to do that again. A fire lit in his eyes. Floyd hungrily bit your bottom lip, earning a whimper in response.  Without breaking away from your mouth, only turning his head to take you at a different angle, he hoisted you up and set you and the beverage down on the countertop. Now, with both hands free, he cupped your cheeks. You responded by wrapping your legs around his waist and grabbing his wrists, drawing away his hands.

“W-Wait…” you exhaled.

“...did you not like that?” he cocked his head.

“No... No… I liked it… I liked it a lot… I just… S-Slow down…”

Floyd reached for the ends of your hair, twirling with the strand, “Take your time…”

Perhaps it was purely the heat of the moment or lust, but you judged him too soon. In this brief period of time, he was being considerate of you.  He traced your figure with his eyes, grinning from ear to ear at your bruised lips, bright pink from the dozens of kisses he gave you. You were just as disheveled as he was.

“...More..”

“You sure?”

“I’m thirsty,” you pouted.

Floyd let out a chortle before sipping your coffee, “Alright, then Shrimpy.”

You prepared yourself for yet another rough session. Before he took your lips, he smoothed back his hair, revealing his forehead. The gesture caught you off guard thus you stiffened as he brushed his lips against yours. By gods, it was as if he wasn't even trying to be provocative. Was it possible for someone to be this seductive without actual effort? At this rate, you were going to miss curfew..

“Floyd…” you moaned, intertwining your fingers with his as he pushed you down onto the counter.

“I’ll be gentle, don’t worry...”

“Floyd… No… T-There’s people watching-!!!”

“So?”

“Does that not bother you?!”

“Not when they’ll know you’re mine~”

You sat up, “I’m a bit too shy for that. A-And I would like for my first time to be private…”

You left the last part trail off in embarrassment, fiddling with his necktie which somehow managed to stay on his person despite everything that just happened.

“Oh? Is Shrimpy a virgin?” he teased.

“So what if I am?!”

“Nothing. Just thought a cute Night Raven College girl like you wouldn’t be since you were really good~”

He earned himself a playful smack on the shoulder to which he responded with a sarcastically scoff. This was so unfair...

“How did you know that I went there?”

“Hmm must be because of the shirt you’re wearing underneath that hoodie,” he said, feigning innocence.

Oh. He’s the perceptive type. You didn’t think much of his ministrations (other than them being tantalizing). It seemed that he took note of every detail about you. At this point, you were crimson as a tomato.

“Also, because I go there as well,” he snickered.

You smacked his shoulder once more.

“I’ve never seen you before.”

“Different years, probably.”

“Maybe..”

“Also, I’m always stuck at the Mostro Lounge so you can find me there,” he winked.

“Ahhh! Stop doing that!”

“Doing what?”

“Giving me two answers and mixed signals.”

Floyd tilted your head upwards and pecked your lips, holding you as if you were a figure of glass: “What about this is mixed?”

“You were terribly rude before… and you probably just want someone to bed with for the night,” you puffed your cheeks.

How your body was betraying you… Your legs were still wrapped around his waist and the fervor was not going to dissipate anytime soon.

“I’ll have you know that I’ve had my eyes on you for a long time, (y/n).”

He raised your hand and pressed a chaste kiss on each individual knuckle.

Oh god. Your heart couldn’t bear it anymore. The way your name rolled off the tip of his tongue made honey taste like summer– hot, overwhelming, but still something to look forward to.

“Since when?” you exhaled.

“Since your first visit to the Lounge.”

He switched to your other hand, continuing the ritual.

“I’ve only been there once.”

“You were such a cute Shrimpy that I couldn’t forget about you~”

“That can’t be right–”

“You just have to accept it!”

“It doesn’t make up for how you treated me before.”

He placed your hands on his cheek, “Sorry, Shrimpy. The scent you released was too irresistible.”

Instinctively, you sniffed your clothes, “I don’t smell anything.”

“It might be just an eel thing*, then. But just so you know, I’ve been trying to find you for a while now. I’m so happy that I did. You’re mine now, Shrimpy. Your smell is intoxicating,” he cooed, leaning closer to your ear, “It makes me go feral~”

You squealed at his sudden remark, unable to regain your composure. Your words melted into gibberish and murmurs as you buried your face into his chest once more.

“You’re such a creep,” you whined.

“You don’t mean that~”

“I don’t…”

“We should get going before curfew though. Help me clean up, will ya?”

“Okay.”

Floyd planted a kiss on your forehead, “Thank you, Shrimpy.”

That nickname wasn’t as obnoxious as it was before, huh.

“I’ll reward you once we get to my room,” he snickered over his shoulder as he left for the back room.

Wait– WHAT?!?!?

“H-Hold on-!!”

“Relax, Shrimpy, ’m not gonna do anything to you… not yet, anyway. I’m just sayin’ in case we don’t make it before curfew.  Azul needs me for Mostro Lounge tomorrow, he has no choice, but to let me in. If anyone can convince the headmaster, it’s probably him,” he gave you a thumbs up.

“Good to know. But… I’ve been meaning to ask about Mostro Lounge and this café. If you work for Azul then why work here too?”

“He doesn’t pay me. I’m just helping out of obligation.”

“What? How come?”

“He’s my friend?”

“You sound unsure.”

“You made it sound like I’m gullible,” he laughed, stacking the last of the chairs.

“Well? Shall we go, Shrimpy?”

You took his hand without hesitation. This feeling– it was addicting. You only knew him for a less than a day, but it felt right. It felt meant to be... as if you were soulmates. 

Bonus:

“Oya? Floyd, what happened to your back? There’s scratches all over it. Are you alright?”

“ s’nothin’, Jade. I just… had a fun night~”

“Please. You and (y/n) were so loud. Please reserve those kinds of activities for somewhere more private– not a dormitory with thin walls,” Azul chided.

His brother’s eyes widened, but he didn’t question it any further. Jade curtly closed his gym locker and headed out towards the field.

Azul followed in suit with a huff. 

* Note: Female moray eels release an odor in order to attract males to mate with them

[garrothromeave]

the hell is mystreet season 6??

(warning, long post ahead)

ok so before i start this

1) ive never posted shiiiit on tumblr before so watch me suffer, im just here to talk about stuff that my friends who dont know anything about aphmau have to listen to me rant about for hours on end

2) i havent seen mystreet in like years (except season 3, i watch that frequently since im laurance and shadow knight deprived) so please bear with me because i might be completely wrong on this lol. it’s just like, pointing out things i remember

3) im sure someones already talked about this but who cares

4) im gonna do this stupid thing where i just explain myself a bit at first, if you dont want to read that just skip to the part where you see “the actual thingy:” in bold and italics 

5) mild disclaimer; i am completely aware that jessica is not a professional writer. i know that she did her best to appeal to her fans, and honestly, respect for that. while this post will come off as aggressive and probably look like hate, that’s not my intention in the slightest. it’s just... intense criticism. im sure y’all probably already know that, but yeah, just stating that anyways. i do believe that jess is doing her best, and in no way do i want to dismiss any hard work she’s done. that being said; prepare for a very strongly opinionated post.

haha watch there be 10000+ typos in this making me look like a complete dumbass

ok here we go 

one of the main reasons i stopped watching aphmau back in 2017 was the mess that was season 4. like, in the first few episodes of the emerald secret, i thought “woah!! this is kinda cool, im a sucker for mystery!” because of course i was, it was something new and something exciting. the only problem i had with it at the time was kim, but that’s just because i always found her annoying and out of place. i just didn’t understand why garroth dragged her along and honestly i still don’t to this day BUT, moving on.

anyways, as the season progressed, 13 year old me was of course just “:0!!” the entire time--that is, up until the reveal of the main villain. i remember watching the episode, seeing the reveal of ein, and then stopping. like, just for a quick break, but i was still just overwhelmingly disappointed. like, and this was the time when pdh was airing and ein just got made alpha (i think?) and i had really really liked eins character in pdh. either way, that really sucked and actually opened my eyes to a lot of things.

one of the main things bein’ the fact that this was supposed to be a slice of life kinda series that decided to take a turn to a more edgy kinda approach. which, i guess i regularly wouldnt mind? but seeing as mcd was kinda bein neglected at the time it just didnt sit right with me. BUT WHATEVER, point is i stopped watching mystreet all together at the end of season 4.

like, a whole year later my brother tells me that shit’s getting intense in season 5 + 6 of mystreet, and my brilliant self decided to give it a shot--but i refused to watch all of season 5, so i only stepped in when ein made an appearance. so whenever that was, that’s where i picked up because i didnt care enough to see 

and y’know--i honestly didn’t hate it at first. in fact, i found it oddly cool. it wasn’t enough to get me into aphmau again, but it was enough to where i was intrigued. i dont know why, but i never watched the finale, so i didnt see the ending until just a few weeks ago--but back then, i thought it was neat. looking back on it however... im just so confused. 

side note: only got back into aphmau this time around because of mcd. mainly because like, i adore the first season and the first half of the second season. and being nearly 18 now, im a lot more appreciative of plot and well-written characters n junk. 

the actual thingy:

ok back on track. imma stop spilling out my story of how i got back into aphmau, and lets just skip to what rewatching mcd made me realize of season 6′s plot and shit:

-emmalyn. how the fuck does ghost even remotely exist? if she’s emmalyn as claimed, then why have we already seen emmalyn in the mystreet universe alive? look i get that creators can do whatever they want with their stories but at the same time please provide some sort of explanation good god. and maybe they did and i just havent seen it, so if there is one--let me know. but until that day imma just sit here confused as fuck

-ok so imma just be real, the whole ‘ultima’ thing is just... not great. in my opinion, anyways. like... i saw someone mention this in another post, but if this ultima stuff was like, a really big deal, why isnt it mentioned in mcd? though i suppose since its a curse of sorts, it could be later on past the time period in which mcd takes place--but even then, how did it manage to make its way into aaron’s family bloodline? 

-WHY IS EVERYONE AT STARLIGHT ITS JUST SO CONVINIENT like what happened to this place being the most expensive shit on the planet or whatever, and how the gang happens to run into like, the werewolf trio and blaze and kai and guy and nate all of these people like god damn life doesnt WORK LIKE THAT 

-im sorry but turning people into relics? thats... thats the best you could come up with? plus, like, how does that even work? in mcd it’s established that relics are separate entitles that choose their wielder, based on a ‘personal’ connection (being a descendent of a previous wielder) or if they’re a good match personality and (i think?) moral wise. so the whole turning-people-into-relics doesnt make much sense to be honest. 

-irene really over here using her god powers to only keep her friends alive like god damn not a great god if you ask me 

-can i talk about how incredibly predictable aphmaus death was? like i just kinda sat there waiting for it to happen and when it did i literally went “haha! wonder when she’ll be revived” because god forbid we actually kill off characters 

-when aphmau + demon warlock fought in the irene dimension there was no passage of time whatsoever in the real world whiiiiiiiiich really bothers me because they fought in there for at least a few minutes

-speaking of aphmau and the demon warlocks fight does it bother anyone else that it had to be aaron who took over the fight?? like we get it hes the big protector blah blah blah but god damn it wouldve been cooler if aphmau had fought this battle as her. aaron fighting this battle was so underwhelming

-...love. like, thats the only thing thats needed to break out of a forever potion? love? LIKE YEAH, GOOD GUYS GOTTA WIN SOMEHOW, but its just so cliche and overdoneeee

-oh yeah and also when travis went bonkers and became the demon warlock or whatever, why’d he only take over katelyn and garroth?? like, zane had been influenced by the potions in the past as well? DONT GET ME WRONG--i do love some good brother edge, but uh, the demon warlock was just bein kinda a dumbass by not possessing zane too just sayin’

-can aaron please go to fucking jail for mass murder now like holy shit, he just got sent home on a fuckin boat. also why did blaze forgive him for killing him thats not even remotely realistic. then again, nothing in mystreet has ever been realistic when it comes to characters and motives and personalities, (cough katelyn being actually abusive and travis being an actual pervert) but yknow whatever

-katelyn and kawaii chan literally added nothing to the plot whatsoever. like lets be real, katelyn lost her personality the moment season 5 started and kawaii chan just kinda sits there :I

-ok im sorry this was bound to come up but cmon guys imagine laurances potential if he was in season 6 like god damn this is beyond maddening. AND YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD HAVE BEEN A REALLY REALLY COOL PARRALLEL?? IF IT WAS LAURANCE WHO SNAPPED GARROTH OUT OF HIS MIND CONTROL THING, because it would mimic laurance’s speech to get garroth to snap out of his rage in season 1, episode 100 of minecraft diaries. like how fuckin rad would that have been? missed opportunity 

-also?? why does kim/ghost know magicks?? like, if i remember correctly, emmalyn is a scholar--not someone who knew magicks. i mean, i guess research? study?? but its been established that knowing how magicks works =/= being able to use magicks. i dunno, just doesnt seem right i guess. maybe its explained, i wouldnt know (yes i know that makes me look like a dick leave me alone)

-melissa should have stayed dead. LIKE, NO, ITS NOT AS SIMPLE AS “haha it takes more than a few bullets to kill me”??? look ive got nothing wrong with melissa (cough lie cough) but yknow it would have just been cool a character... stay dead? for once? its just too fuckin cliche that shes alive god damn

-can i also just say the only good thing that came out of season 6 was travis’ dads sacrifice like damn that made me actually sad

-howww was lucinda turned into a relic. or yknow, anyone else? like im sure they explain it better in the actual show i just dont remember, but its just that easy? turning anyone into a relic? granted, a normal person wouldnt be able to produce a good relic, but idk man. IM JUST SAYING; that the only really powerful relics that aphmau should have been able to wield is the one that aaron + zane produced because shad relic and esmund relic moment. lucinda isnt even like, connected to a divine warrior. ALSO, another point, if its seriously that powerful of a relic getting one from just a magic user like lucinda, why go through the trouble? i mean i guess ofc youd want the “all powerful” one that the ultima produces but i mean damn whats the point

-ok this is just going to bother me but in one of the episodes (i think might have been in season 5 actually) where that like, guardian dude was chasing aphmau and zane and at one point they split up and the dude just chuckles at zane diverting paths and goes under his breath “youre not the important one here”, suggesting that aphmau somehow is? first of all, id argue that any ro’meave is significantly more important than aphmau was, especially not knowing much about her other than that shes with aaron. i might be missing some bits an pieces, but if i was that dude id forget about aphmau and go after zane 

-killing off derek for shock factor sucked, and i know the moment was supposed to be really sad because like “oh :( aarons dad is sacrificing himself for his son” but lets be real dereks still was a shitty father and i dont think his reasons for doing what he did was very good at all

-less about plot or more like: why the absolute fuck did the gang bring kim along instead of, oh i dont know, a life-long friend? like, laurance or dante maybe?? im sure its explained, i never saw aphmaus year or most of season 5, but god DAMN id hate to be apart of this friend group AND GOD LIKE, imagine reconnecting with an old friend who ends up getting closer to your best friends and taking priority in their lives over you (cough laurance) like god damn lol

-im just going to preface this one with: i dont remember everything that’s happened, so if im wrong i apologize in advance--but (you actually can correct me if im wrong and please do) didnt like, irene reincarnate her friends in order to give them better lives? I DONT KNOW IF THIS IS TRUE, ITS JUST WHAT I REMEMBER--however, if im correct, then:

a. why the hell would she bring back someone like zane, or gene, or ivy, etc.

b. why the hell do they all have the same exact names? first and last? again, im aware that the whole mystreet+mcd tie wasn’t originally supposed to be there, but i dont think that means such a coincidence can be excused? its just a bit much if you ask me.

c. why the hell is the fact that (as much as i literally hate this) aaron is a decedent of shad being ignored? like, you’d think that something like this would be something thats actually important, or something the demon warlock couldve taken advantage of. or are we completely erasing every other connections to divine warriors besides aphmau + irene? because even if irene did reincarnate them or do whatever it is she did, does she even have the power to sever the connections between them and their ancestors? my guess is, no.

d. speaking of irene why on earth was aphmau able to talk to/see irene, they’re literally the same person are they not? did she like, fuckin reincarnate herself without actually doing it?? BUT--i will give it to them, the demon warlock did refer to aphmau as something along the lines of being “one of the 3 parts of her broken soul” or something like that. however, my point still remains. also what are the other two did i miss that or is it never explained

now; if irene in fact did not ‘reincarnate’ her friends then please ignore that little bit right there :)

but yes, those are a few of the problems i have with season 6 off the top of my head. i would go into like, season 4 and 5 more as well, but i honestly didnt feel like it. at some point i might go into other things, like how important laurance could have been to the plot of these later seasons, or HELL, even dante. i might also go into what could have made season 4, 5, and 6 actually good--maybe... a rewrite? perhaps? but im getting too far ahead of myself, so i just leave you with this for now.

and i know that as soon as i post this 15 more things are just going to pop into my head BUT im going to try and not edit this post because why stress myself with that even more

anyways thank you for coming to my tedtalk 

[fantastic-rambles]

Im so glad there's sm1 who appreciates how well adam's character is written, i need to vent to u (sorry!).

Ok so honestly, despite all the terrible shit he's done, i feel so so bad for him. I know that with police involved it's probably not gonna end well for him, but holy shit i want him to mend his relationships and heal so badly (tho with 🍵🌸 it's probably ruined to the point of no return). I just wish he opened up to tadashi and/or 🍵🌸 when they were young, and found comfort in them. I know the majority of the fandom wants to run adam over with a truck or smth, but honestly it's his fucked up family that truly deserves that. U have no business fucking up a person like that, adam should've left em years ago(which hopefully he will eventually do in the end). Anyway rly hoping that sm1 saves him and bitch slaps his father(i actually don't remember if he's still alive lmao) and aunts.

Sorry again for suddenly throwing this at u (feel free to leave this unanswered, no worries!)

Oh no, please don’t feel sorry! I love discussing my obsessions, lol. And also finding other non-Adam-haters. <3

But yes, absolutely, I feel bad for Adam. It doesn’t excuse what he does (though what he does is child’s play compared to *actual* villains), but he’s a textbook case of an abused child turning into an abusive adult. On top of that, mental health has a huge stigma in East Asian countries, so all the people yelling that he should get therapy... while they’re right, I understand why he doesn’t due to cultural norms, as well as the fact that he doesn’t realize how fucked up he is and in his relationships with other people. The first step to addressing a problem is to understand that there is a problem, but he doesn’t see a problem at all with what he does (and his morality pet feels too guilty about his own sins to point it out), so he can’t take steps to fix it.

His family is definitely a root cause of the problem (for some reason, I’m under the impression his father is in jail, but I might be misremembering/misinterpreting something one of his aunts said--in any case, I don’t think he’s around right now), but to be honest, while I like Tadashi, I also blame him for part of Adam’s trauma too. It’s pretty obvious that Tadashi has some sort of inferiority complex--which yeah, again, understandable since he’s a servant’s child, but then why do all the secret skating with Adam? Like, he realized that it was Adam’s only safe space, and just because Adam’s dad found out, it seems like he decided to just take that away from Adam?

The scene when Adam first sees “Snake” skating and says something like “Why now?” really hit me hard, because I believe that Tadashi has refused to skate with Adam for years (which is why Adam made “S” and is looking for “Eve”), and then when he finally does, which is something that should make Adam happy and remind them of the few bright moments of his childhood (plus, Tadashi is one of the only people who can skate with him equally), he’s doing it to try to completely take away what Adam loves more than anything else, and the only place where he can be himself. As I mentioned in another post, I think that Tadashi has good intentions in trying to do this, but the most recent episode has just hammered home the point that Tadashi doesn’t really understand how badly he fucked up before.

Like you said, if he’d had a more open relationship/friendship with Tadashi when he was younger and Tadashi continued to support him secretly (which I believe he stopped doing after the board-burning incident), I think that things could have turned out a lot different/better. I also think that with Cherry and Joe, there was a chance for things to work out and make him into a better person, but he was forced to leave them/go to America, where they couldn’t have a good influence over him. And imo, something also happened during those gap years that drove him batshit crazy and looking for his “Eve.”

At this point, I’m mostly hoping for one of two endings (for Adam):

That Adam somehow is made aware of how badly he’s fucked up everything and takes steps to make amends, including confessing to perjury and going to jail, which would be a huge middle finger/cutting ties to his family/aunts. I’m kinda skeptical that this will happen in a believable way, though, if that’s the intent, given that it seems Ep 11 will be him trying to traumatize Reki again so having a heel-face turn in one episode is pretty suspicious.

That Adam just goes down in a blaze of glory and destroys his skating kingdom in a fit of madness when it’s clear to him that he can never get what he really wants. This is also unlikely since I’m pretty sure he’ll end up going to jail one way or another, but if he’s going to be played off as “irredeemably evil,” then they should damn well go the whole way. Nothing he’s done so far convinces me that he’s a villain who deserves as much hate as he gets.

But yes, I feel like Adam is a marvelously complex character (partly because there’s still so much backstory missing, probably), which is why he’s my runaway favorite in the show. His characterization is absolutely head-and-shoulders above any other character’s. He’s a terrible guy for certain, but he makes the whole show possible.

[henlex]

Disclaimer: I accidentally fell in love with gye so just bare with me🙏 I didnt plan for that

Another underrated pair for @bonknanab 💖💕💖💕💖

Gyechan

First thoughts holy shit all the earth. But gye cancer venus MY HEART this boy is so soft bye. A whole marshmallow. Also the amount of taurus too, this boy LOVES cuddling. But so does minchie cuz virgo AND leo = cuddles sooooo. Leo moon. Makes sense.

Suns

Gye: taurus. Earth, really steady and strong, very consistent/ dependable. They rely on their senses to experience the world. Like the care a lot about how things feel, taste, smell. Catch them wrapped up in a fuzzy blanket. They can be possessive, they love their things a lot and want to protect them. But this can carry over to people too, they like to possess their loved ones, like have ownership of them. It helps them feel secure. It's just so cute oml😭 tangent: this is why kangmin feels so comfy with the and he's his favorite. He's just a kid with a ton of emotions (scorp moon) and gye is just so stable and reliable, that "I've got you I'm not going anywhere" energy that kangmin needs. I'm a sap leave me alone.  But they hardly get jealous. Can be pretty stubborn and slow moving. They dont like change and dont like changing their mind. Slow to start, especially if they're comfy, they might just lay in bed all day😂

Min: Virgo. Hardworking, love being knowledgeable about things/ learning about them. Sensitive to their surroundings. Can be shy with new people but when comfortable theyll talk forever. They love to be appreciated and useful. Prone to worry, they tend to be pretty responsible.  They love to be doing something and can get restless when they arent. Can be perfectionists because they want to do things the best they can. They're very aware of their bodies. Very curious and love to explore, great observers. They can be pretty hard on themselves 😭 They can be very proud of the way they do things. Can be big sweethearts and are always ready to help.

Moon

Gye: Taurus: ay it's me🤝 So a lot of the same as the sun, but this is the core, his emotions. These people have a super calming aura, you just kind of feel wrapped in a blanket. They love consistency and home. They put down deep roots. Can be a bit oblivious and avoid messy/ chaotic displays. Can be conservative. Deep emotions, affection, sentimental. Romantic but do like taking risks with the first move. Really good instincts. Really good sense of smell?? They really stick with things, dont run when things get hard. Once they're in, they're in for the long haul. It takes a lot to actually bother them.

Min: Leo. This is why he likes being on stage even though virgos tend to be behind the scenes types. They really love entertaining those they're close too and are often a comedian. They kind of like to control their inner circle. Strong desire to create and entertain but can be a bit lazy, possibly bossy too. They need a lot of love and attention to function😭 They can be really dramatic if they get offended but they dont like public displays, they save that for home😂 Stubborn, needs time to adjust to changes. They strive for fairness and hate following orders.

Mercury

Gye: taurus. Istg what is this man

Say it with me kids stub👏born👏

Slow moving, think through decisions. They seem lazy because of just how long it takes them to decide something😂 Slow to start things... Sensual again. Slow communication, everything is deliberate. Very practical so people take them seriously. Can be pretty sarcastic and funny. Pleasant voices. Practical in learning too, they need to have real world examples or know how it affects them.

Min: virgo😂. Likes order/ control, gets uneasy when it's not. Detail oriented. LOVE when appreciate their intellect. Very good at taking care of the day to day. They can be impatient with others because they think they do things best. Helps others by taking care of the little things.

Venus

Gye: cancer. UWU. We've got a marshmallow guys.

Ok so Sensitive in love, they like commitment and dependability. Theyll give you security, comfort and care. They show their love by caring for you. They crave safety. They watch their loved ones emotions. This is a big 180 after all the Taurus. They can be moody to get attention oml. Either this is really toned down from the taurus moon or im blind. It's hard for them to forgive/ forget if you've hurt them (same with the taurus moon so☠) They can retreat/ hide to care for themselves. God this is like taurus but extra soft😭 Ok so strong attachment to family and home. Sentimental, love snuggling😭 They need to feel secure and have a strong fear of rejection/ abandonment.

Min: virgo. Good lord. Not flirty. Tries to win someone over with devotion and showing them a ton of attention. Cautious, slowly makes his way into their heart. Sensitive and insecure in love😭 They need to know feelings are mutual before they make a move..... Can childishly tease their crush💆🏼‍♀️ But they have good intentions. They arent attracted to show offs, they like understated, unnoticed people. These people love quietly helping and doing the little things. You'll win them over if you recognize their efforts, they just want to be appreciated.

Mars

Gye: libra. Out of left field fr. Oop indecisive yet again. He's so lucky theres not a ton of fire in this group or I swear people would kill him. I'm sure dongheon and hoyoung have gotten impatient before tho cuz damn. Anyway they really like to weigh all their options. Overwhelming desire for balance. They're generally optimistic, and can be defensive. Can play innocent. Passive aggressive 💆🏼‍♀️. Very good mediators.

Can be incredibly charming. The pickiest lovers and desire equality it every aspect.

Min: leo. A strong creative energy and the feeling their life has significant meaning and purpose. Very passionate. Driven and normally have a set path. They have an air of authority and power. Lol they demand loyalty and admiration in their relationships. Can get fired up when they feel wronged or defensive. But they're really kind and driven by the heart.

Eye.

*skip for s*x mentions* do like idek how to say this. But like they want to be seen as godlike, worshipped. But they also want to worship the other person. Likes an imbalance of power. Show off. Possessive + jealous but tries to hide it. But everything is laced with love and affection.

Notes:

Gye's steadiness could really help min to calm his worry.

it's great that it takes a lot to actually annoy him cuz...we all know minchie 💕

Omfg they're both kinda lazy😂 Lazy morning cuddles let's goooo.

Ok but gye could very much be oblivious to mins need for love/ compliments etc. Cue that clip gye had to compliment min and it was short but min was like that's all?? And the was like Oh! And just kept on going. So cute. Like he has to problem expressing his affection but min literally needs to physically say how much he needs😂😂

They both hate change and surprises so🤝

Ok but minchans venus is kind of perfect for gyes cuz he needs that stability. But gye would probably be thrown at first if minchan wasnt being obvious. Theyd be really cute together but the challenge would be getting together.

Honestly they seem super soft and comfy (probably mostly behind the camera rip) earth babies but also playful and precious. As the 2 earth signs in the group (and with a ron of earth placements too) they could really find solace in each other and I think that's so sweet💕

[gryphsdeadbones]

hey from one nd person to another the comic where fm gordon says a slur seems kind of in poor taste. ik ur not intentionally making light of it and tht occurring in fm should be criticized but while you dont make it out to be a good thing making jokes about it and calling him a "slurboy" is kind of questionable? it makes it seem more like a plotpoint and angst rather than the creator of fm genuinely fucking up in the past (and having moved on from it)! i think exploring fm coming to terms with being nd is a good idea but this isnt the best way to do it. if you want me to explain my point more lmk if/when u post this and i will! someone already made a post abt it but it was kinda strongly worded and i wanted to approach you more calmly because i genuinely dont want to call you out or start drama or anything ;-;

first off thank you for being civil and patient with me i appreciate this ask a lot- also this got long- im not in a flying rage or anything when i bold or emphasis text, i just needed it also for my own readability and since im not the best at wording- hopefully this hellsite works and my response is under the cut

i would like to know how is it in poor taste when freemind explicitly gets clocked at the very end for saying it. the entire point of the comic was to show that saying the r slur has existed in his source and is bad

im not sure how much more direct i can get, with the disclaimer/warning list growing longer and longer and out there for a huge sign that says “this au can get dark as fuck and these subject matters are treated seriously/not something to mess around with.” Like yes, there are some jokes in the asks and other comics, but that specific comic is not supposed to be “haha thats funny”. it has a serious tone using a rough sketch style bc i was super tired and wanted to vent

was it just the direct reference to it that just made people uncomfortable? because thats 100% understandable, and i made sure i tagged it appropriately (although admittedly, a little bit late since i thought the filter would catch at least the main thing)

i think what some people somehow got from it is “exploring sensitive content = endorsing said content” which! that is not the intent! i absolutely do not want people saying that word! I don’t want people thinking that is any way okay for this character to say

its more of a damned if i do address it, damned if i dont.

if it never comes up, people are gonna assume that ‘oh this character says slurs and is shit, surely the creator or fan-creator MUST be okay with it and woobifies freemind and absolves him of any mistakes’ or something like that. no. this asshole has an arc and i want to do it right. its serious and i think it shouldn’t be shoved under the rug

and people just. dont want to read for context for whatever reason. theyll start watching it and get taken aback by the slur and start blaming me ‘hey you never warned for this’ when very early on i keep mentioning over and over ‘you dont have to watch it if you dont want to! This has slurs and 2000s internet brand humor/style’ You really dont, I’m not forcing you to watch it- Literally all you need to know is either canon half life or hl/vrai. thats it. fm mostly follows hl1 with very slight changes.

so i had to make something that:

1. warns people who arent aware and dont want to go through my asks or about/warning pages (for whatever reason) and just want to see the art

2. also NOT downplay freemind’s canon assholery. listen, i kinda despise writing mean and cruel characters, theyre hard to do, and a lot of people get shit for doing it wrong or people going “character = author”

i’ve also considered leaving the bubbles blank, but then people could fill it with whatever they want, then blame me for being vague. or they’d fill it in with a different kind of slur that freemind has never used, even if he MIGHT be the type to do that. I needed to explicitly mention that it is ableist slur. There are shitty racist and other problematic jokes, but never those kinds of extreme racial slurs to my knowledge.

Although I do see your point that maybe joking about it outside of the serious stuff might not be the best route. The slurboy jokes are getting stale, and I will try a better way to remind people.

The thing that gets to me is that it feels people are more than ready to defend either Ross Scott or Gordon Freeman the fictonal character himself. I don’t??? really care for Ross Scott, so I don’t know if he’s ever brought it up specifically. I’m not really calling him out or cancelling him. Idc for some white man’s feelings, im only bringing the timeframe of That era and reworking it to fit in This current era.

And I hate to break it to people: Gordon Freeman is a blank slate character, you can project whatever the hell you want on him as long as it’s not freakshit illegal garbage. The machinimas (fm, hl/vrai) do have SOME characterization that I want to nail down. It fucking sucks when characters are ooc, and I’m trying not to do that, even if it means sacrificing some comfort. But still mostly staying in my comfort zone if that makes sense

Now about the callout that I do not want to engage with the op directly:

Honestly im very surprised the comic was called out when i just. thought my stuff is relatively tame on exploring the bad shit canon freemind does. ive seen him in fancontent where they really dont hold back and its still played off as ‘kinda funny’ tone.

I really don’t know if people just want any reason to hate me for whatever reason. That’s fine I guess, I can’t please everyone and they dont have to like me.

But like. isn’t it so much easier for the op of that to block me and the post and move on. Why kick up such a fuss. I can see that thinly veiled death threat of a vague. That’s pretty fucked up- Like holy fucking god, you do not have to like my stuff. I’m not holding you at knifepoint to like my stuff. I’ve specifically made two different tags (one general au, one specific au) if anyone wants to blacklist it for their own reasons I do not need to know. I don’t want to know.

You’re allowed to be uncomfortable. You’re allowed to unfollow/blacklist/block.

However you just don’t go ranting about it for something you horribly misinterpreted. If it bothers you so badly, literally just. drop me a message to clarify. thats it. or save yourself the time and block me.

I’ve blocked the op for both our sakes, but if anyone wants to send this post to them, then thats fine. I don’t want anything to do with them.

I don’t want to link the post and blow it up. I just want shit clarified, dropped and we can move the fuck on with our lives. 

If you’re reading this and don’t know what the post is, please don’t bother. I do not want people going after the op with threats, please keep it civil, I’d prefer if you don’t engage with the post at all on my behalf.

Despite this huge wall of text, I do not want this to be a big deal, so please don’t ask me about the details.

_

As for anon, feel free to dm me either on here or. Maybe on discord if you’d still like to suggest or have something more cleared up. I’m still willing to hear any kind of feedback, and i want to thank you again for being reasonable about this

[feeling-uncomfy]

Sorry this took so long @aestheticallytiredandpathetic but I gave the #5 fix idea finished!! Im gonna have to write fluff after because DAMN—

There is a blood/injury and mentions of suicide warning, be warned!

Hope you enjoy!!

The day had started normally. Really it had, it was a nice day, light clouds scattered in the sky. Bakugo and the rest of the band were relaxing on the common areas couch when Denki pointed at the T.V.

It drew everyone's attention, Todoroki and Midoryia poking there heads over the couch and Kirishima plopped himself on the floor. Hawks and Tokoyami were shown on the screen, Hawks was laughing and patting Tokoyami's shoulder.

"We're gonna work on some people-skills, right Tsukuyomi?" Tokoyami nodded simply as a reporter shoved a microphone into his face. Tokoyami wasn't cut out for this. There was a loud scream and the two heros tensed, ready to fight.

"Heya Hawks!" Miruko landed beside Tokoyami, grinning. Hawks sighed and smiled easily. "What's up Miruko?" The reporters were talking, and Miruko shrugged. "Hate to spring this on you, but..." Miruko smirked.

Tokoyami let out a squawk as Miruko lifted him easily over one shoulder. "Gonna borrow your intern here for the day!" Without waiting for a response, she jumped away. Hawks was left gaping and Tokoyami was taken away. "Thanks, I'll bring him back later!" She called over her shoulder.

Kaminari laughed loudly, and Bakugo snorted. "Oh no you dont! Give Tsukuyomi back!" Hawks yelled, kicking off. Thus began the chase of a lifetime.

Tokoyami had no choice but to be dragged all over Kushu as Miruko tried to avoid Hawks. They almost matched in speed, which made things interesting. Miruko had lost grip on Tokoyami several times, and Hawks was barely able to catch him. Tokoyami managed to have a little fun though.

Miruko got her grip on the teen again as they soared through the sky. "We should be able to cut through here if we—" Miruko was cut off by the building next to them suddenly being destroyed. Something came crashing through, hitting into the pair.

"Holy shit—! Hang on, kid!" Miruko yelled as they were sent falling to the ground. Tokoyami clung onto Miruko's arm, and they smacked onto the roof and rolled. Tokoyami groaned in pain and looked up. A large nomu stood in front of them, cloaking them in shadow. There were many other smaller nomu with it.

Tokoyami got up on shaky legs and was ready to fight. Hawks must not be aware of this, or he'd be here. Miruko sprinted past him, and Tokoyami followed. With Dark Shadow's assistance, Tokoyami knocked nomu away and tried to stop the people from getting harmed. The large nomu appeared in front of him, and Tokoyami was sent flying with an aggressive swipe of its hand.

Miruko was next to him in seconds, helping him stand. "You good, kid?" Tokoyami shook his head to stop the world from spinning. He nodded and stood straighter. Miruko grinned ferally. "Let's kick some ass!" She went running, Tokoyami hot on her heels. The nomu was saying something, it seemed to be complaining. Hawks showed up, Endeavor and a news crew following.

"Sorry we're a little late." Hawks flew down and pat his interns shoulder. Tokoyami looked up gratefully. Hawks zipped forward into the fray. Tokoyami jumped forward, preparing to attack, when—

"Friend!" Tokoyami stopped and turned his head in the direction the nomu was looking. One of the weaker nomu was trapped under rubble. The nomu looked panicked, and struggled against Hawks, Miruko and Endeavor. It seemed worried.

Tokoyami skidded to a stop. The weaker nomu struggled, clearly in pain. Hawks let out a shout of pain and was knocked into Endeavor, and the two went flying. Miruko was shoved away, crashing into a wall with a yell.

The large nomu called out for its friend again. Tokoyami turned and ran forward, and carefully lifted the rubble. He was curious, but also knew how stupidly dangerous this was. The weaker nomu scrambled towards the larger one, and they exchanged headpats? The larger nomu stared suspiciously at Tokoyami.

Shigaraki and the strange Doctor stared as this child-soldier saved the enemy. "What a weirdo. Kill him." Shigaraki ordered bluntly, and the large nomu ran forward, intent on killing. "Wait! I want to know why the child did that!" The Doctor yelled. Shigaraki sighed. "Fine. Bring him home." He ordered.

The class was watching, worried. Tokoyami blinked and the nomu was in his face. "Wait!—" Hawks looked up at his interns face, and saw the pure fear. The nomu's hand came down. Yamomo gasped loudly and Jirou covered her mouth in shock.

Bakugo froze, and Kirishima went silent. The whole class stared in astonishment. Aziawa's eyes were wide, and he gripped his chair. "Tsukuyomi!" Hawks yelled, getting to his feet.

The nomu turned, and left. Hawks couldn't see his intern, all he saw has his hand, and blood dripped off from his fingertips. Hawks flew after them, cussing. "Give him back, you big bastard—!" The nomu turned and smacked Hawks with one arm, and Hawks went tumbling.

"You won't get away with him! Let go!" Hawks attacked it again, harder this time. The nomu let out a roar and took a random piece of rubble, throwing it at Hawks. It hit his head, and he fell, wings flopping uselessely. Miruko caught him, and Endeavor shot forward. He didnt have much luck either.

Hawks sat up. "Tsukuyomi!" He called. Miruko stared at the large fresh blood stain splattered on the ground. "He's lost a lot of blood. Its probably coming from his head." She muttered, picking Hawks up. "Let's go. We've gotta call for backup." Hawks didn't budge. "Let's go, birdbrain." Hawks left.

The news feed cut off.

In his rage, Bakugo stood and set off explosions. Aziawa stood roughly and his chair toppled over. The class was startled by the loud noise. "Aziawa..." All Might started, worried. Aziawa didnt say anything. He left the room in a rush. Bakugo followed shortly.

Tokoyami woke up to someone poking him. He grimaces and shoved the hand back, and opens an eye. The man standing over him grins under his mask, and turns. "The kid is awake! About damn time too. I was getting bored." Tokoyami was confused.

"Twice, leave him alone. Remember last time you got too physical?" A voice called, and the man above shivered. "I thought those nomu were supposed to be nice to us?!" He said, stomping towards Tokoyami. He lifted him up by the cloak with one hand, staring into his eyes.

"Hey, kid. What'd you do to get the nomu on your side? Dont tell me!" Tokoyami blinked, everything was fuzzy. Tokoyami's voice came out muffled and slurred. "Dunno... what you mean..." His eyes drooped close. He was shook violently. "You're not allowed fall asleep yet! Shigaraki wants to talk!"

Tokoyami's eyes snapped open. He was definitely awake now. "Wha—?! Shigaraki? Wait–!" He was dragged forward. Twice dropped him onto the floor. There were bright lights, blinding him. Tokoyami squinted up at the figure in the corner, and the door slammed shut. The figure moved closer.

Tokoyami stared in fear. Standing over him was the most dangerous villain in Japan. He took off the hand constantly covering his face and glared down at him. "The Doctor wasnt bothered enough to come ask you this himself, so I'm here instead." His voice was like static grinding against a cheese grater, it was disgusting.

'This bitch needs to drink some water...' Dark Shadow commented from within. Tokoyami agreed. Shigaraki held onto the edge of Tokoyami's cloak with four fingers. "Do you know what my quirk is? If you dont, I'll gladly give you a demonstration." Tokoyami shivered as the last finger came down, leaving him in sweatpants and a t-shirt.

"Your hand is next if you dont give me an answer." Shigaraki threatened. Tokoyami swallowed and nodded. Shigaraki grinned. 'Ew, brush you teeth, and work on that smile... disgusting.' Dark Shadow crackled from inside. It took all of Tokoyami's resolve not to laugh as well.

Shigaraki bent down and huffed, his breath hitting Tokoyami's face. He almost gagged. 'I'm begging for someone to introduce him to toothpaste' Tokoyami pleaded, and Dark Shadow was already screaming his discomfort.

"How did you get that nomu to cooperate with you?" Shigaraki asked. Tokoyami blinked. "The nomu?" Shigaraki got back up and kicked Tokoyami's chest. He hit the ground and coughed. "Yeah, the nomu seems to be attached to you..." He hissed. "I dont know, I cant control what it does." Tokoyami reply is forced out as he tries to breathe.

"Why'd you save the other nomu then? You have to have a decent answer for that." Tokoyami looks up to find Shigaraki's cold glare baring into his soul. "It was in trouble." He answered simply. Shigaraki laughed, and the sound was horrible, it made Tokoyami wince.

"Yeah, like a hero would risk their life for the enemy." Shigaraki scoffed. "I dont know why I saved it. The other nomu was worried, and I acted on instinct." Tokoyami spoke truthfully. Shigaraki raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, sure." He said, and kicked Tokoyami's chest again.

Tokoyami wheezed as Shigaraki lifted him with four fingers. "Well, now that I have you here..." He grinned. "Another question." Tokoyami was prepared to answer another question about a nomu.

"How do you get into U.A?" Tokoyami froze. "What?" He asked, genuinely confused. Shigaraki growled and pushed him down, and Tokoyami hissed as his back collided hard with the ground again. "You heard me, brat. How do you get into U.A?"

Tokoyami scoffed. "I'm not telling you. What makes you think I'd tell you anything?" Tokoyami hoped he sounded less afraid than he felt. Shigaraki smiled again, and held something sharp in his hand. "Because of you dont tell me..." He said, digging the object into Tokoyami's shoulder.

Tokoyami cried out in pain. "This will be the least painful thing you feel. Understand?" Tokoyami glared up at the villain. "Do your worst. I'm not telling you anything." He shot back. It was a silent promise to himself, and to Shigaraki. He wasnt going to break.

Shigaraki sighed, and leaned into a speaker on the table. "Bring them in. Our guest is being uncooperative." Tokoyami swallowed his nerves as three people walked in. Twice, Toga and Spinner. Shigaraki sat on the table, grinning.

"Welcome. At our guest's request, do your worst." Tokoyami's eyes widened. Twice laughed and got to work, punching Tokoyami's face. Toga took her time pulling out a knife. Spinner shuffled a little awkwardly at first, but got into it after a minute.

Shigaraki laughed as Tokoyami started screaming in pain. This was his own fault, after all. Dabi stood waiting behind the door, huffing as the screams grew louder.

"No." Aziawa deadpanned, holding Bakugo and Midoryia down with his capture weapon. "But, sir! Tokoyami is in danger—" Shouji tried to reason, and ended up victim of Aziawa's weapon too. "I'm well aware. But you're still students, and some are targets of the league. Under no circumstances are any of you to engage with them. Understood?"

The class begrudgingly promised not to engage. "But what if we—?" Mina's arms was wrapped in capture weapon. "I understand your concerns." Aziawa repeats for the third time. "But it's a no. There will be a rescue team of pro heros sent out to get Tokoyami back. If I catch wind of you there so help me–"

Aziawa glared. "Shigaraki and the league's torture will be nothing compared to what I'll do." The class seemed to stop complaining so much after. He left them in All Might's hands and met with Hawks and the rest of the team.

"The class wont intervene. Hopefully." Hawks laughed, though it was forced. "Come on, we've got a bird to save." Endeavor scoffed. "I still don't understand how you found the place so fast." Hawks grinned up at him.

"I've always got a feather stuffed somewhere on my intern." Hawks said simply. Endeavor gaped at him. "What? I'm always prepared for these sorts of things." Aziawa rolled his eyes at Hawks's reply, and Miruko slapped his shoulder. "After the seventh or eighth time Hawks landed Tokoyami in hospital, he just sorta started doing it." She explained to the teacher.

Aziawa glared at Hawks. "I'm well aware that Hawks has the tendency to land my student in hospital." His glare was like ice. "For various reasons." He added coldly. Hawks shrugged. "Hey, I told you I'm not good at this 'having a kid' thing." He said defensively.

"That doesn't excuse the fact you landed my kid in hospital over thirty seven times this past year alone! I told you he couldn't have dairy, and the same day I get a call—" Aziawa was ranting, ready to recite every time he'd been called in for some stupid reason, but Endeavor cut him off.

"That's enough! Shigaraki isnt a patient man, and if we do not act now there may not be another chance to get the child stuck in a hospital again." The words struck a chord in the group. Hawks hadn't thought thay far ahead. They took him because they wanted him, right? They wouldnt kill him if he was useful.

Would they?

Aziawa huffed and started walking. "Let's hurry. And don't do anything illogical. Let's do things rationally." Miruko rolled a shoulder, hearing it crack. "Whatever, I'm gonna kick Shigaraki's musty face in!" Hawks laughed. "Yeah, you do that." Aziawa and Endeavor rolled their eyes in unison and lead the way.

"Their both like interns..." Endeavor commented as they walked. Aziawa nodded. "I love and hate that about them." He answered quietly. They walked the rest of the way in silence.

"Haven't you had enough yet?" Tokoyami slammed onto the ground again, crying out in pain. Twice was gearing up for another blow, and Toga had sufficiently taken a solid months worth of blood from him. He was exhausted, and he wanted to go home.

Tokoyami spat blood out, and tried to brace himself on shaking hands. "I'm not going to tell you anything." He spat, willing himself to stay upright. Shigaraki scoffed. "Fine, have it your way. Twice?"

"Already on it! I dont wanna punch the kid anymore!" Tokoyami heard the fist collide before he felt the pain. He was sent straight down, cursing. Toga stabbed his shoulder again, earning a loud shout. Spinner had a bat, and took a swing. Tokoyami fell back, utterly spent and sore.

Shigaraki tutted. "This is all so useless. We could get along so much better if you would hear me out." He said quietly, sitting untouched on the table. Tokoyami scoffed. "Forgive me of I don't feel like listening to a psycho who's been torturing me for the past hour!" He said, gaining confidence.

Shigaraki glared down at him. "You little–" Tokoyami flinched, prepared for the blow. It never came, instead, the door opened with a crash. "We've gotta go. Heros." Dabi said, glancing down at the teen. Shigaraki growled. "Fucking– you know what? Fine." He turned to Tokoyami. "Have the nomu that likes this brat so much take him." Shigaraki ordered.

Dabi didnt hesitate. "That's dangerous. And stupid." Shigaraki turned to him. "You got a better idea, hot stuff?" Dabi didnt respond. "I thought so. Twice, let the nomu out." Twice nodded enthusiastically, then shook his head. He left.

Tokoyami wasnt sure what to expect, but it wasnt this. The nomu came rushing in, smaking Dabi away. Tokoyami was picked up and the nomu growled at everyone else in the room. It looked down at Tokoyami. "Hurt?" It asked.

Tokoyami blinked. "I'm fine." He answered slowly. It was a lie, but he wasnt about to admit that the villains hurt him. "Lies." It growled, and took a swipe at the league. Spinner yelled as Shigaraki cursed and grabbed his arm, pulling him back. The nomu turned and ran through the wall. Tokoyami let out a shout of fear as they took to the skies, Tokoyami gripping onto the nomu's neck like a lifeline.

They flew through the sky, the beginning of the sunset light hitting Tokoyami's face. "Where are we going?!" He screamed over the wind. The nomu didnt look at him. "Safe." It said simply. Well, that didnt help. Tokoyami looked around, and gasped.

"Hawks?!"

Hawks had been looking up at the nomu as it zoomed overhead. He caught Tokoyami's eye. "Kid?! What are you—" Tokoyami cut him off. "Wait, Hawks! Help–" The nomu turned right suddenly, and Tokoyami almost went flying. Tokoyami was petrified, clinging onto the slimy and slippery skin, close to tears.

Whether that was from the pain or fear, he wasnt sure.

Hawks flew after them, Endeavor hot on his heels, literally and figuratively. Miruko came in as a close second, and Aziawa bright up the rear with the police. "Take care if the league." Aziawa called, running forward.

"Let Tsukuyomi go! Stupid—" Hawks yelled, and was surprised when it did. Tokoyami let out a screech of fear as he plummeted towards the ground at incredible speed. Hawks dived for him, and Miruko flew forward. "Got him!" She caught Tokoyami in her arms, and he clung tight, trembling.

"Great, now let's—Shit!!" Miruko was thrown off course as the nomu reached for them. Hawks panicked. This wasnt part of the plan. Endeavor grabbed Miruko's arm, and steered them to a rooftop. The nomu let out a roar as it knocked Miruko away, and Tokoyami smaked onto the ground hard, and he was left gasping.

Endeavor growled. A portal opened, and Spinner, Shigaraki and Dabi showed up. They looked ready to fight, but everyone was taken by surprise when the nomu swung wildly at them all. Hawks was thrown off balance, and the three villains were sent off the roof.

The nomu let out another shout and grabbed Endeavor's face, and slammed it into the concrete. Tokoyami was frozen and the nomu repeatedly slammed the number one heros head into the ground. "Wait! Stop it, let him go!" Tokoyami ran forward and grabbed at the nomu's arm, tugging with all his might.

The nomu turned, and Tokoyami choked as the nomu wrapped it's free hand around his neck. Endeavor was forgotten, left bleeding on the building. Tokoyami struggled, trying to get free. His windpipe was crushed, and he wheezed. His vision was blacking out around the edges, and everything was fuzzy.

Tokoyami clawed at the hand in fear. He couldn't breathe, he needed to get out, he begged for someone to help, he didnt want to die—

There was a snap.

Dabi heard and stared, wide-eyed. Shigaraki cursed as Tokoyami stopped struggling, falling limp in the nomu's hold. "Oh my god..." Spinner said, gripping the ledge he was clutching so tight his knuckles were a light green.

Hawks heard the sound and looked up. 'Please be a bone, any bone, don't be—' He saw his interns hand fall, useless. Miruko gasped loudly, hands shaking. Aziawa showed up, and saw his student hang lifeless. "Holy..." The words caught in his throat.

Hawks couldn't believe what he was looking at. "No, no no no no..." He ran forward, and the nomu dropped him. The nomu turned and ran. Shigaraki muttered something, and he and Spinner disappeared through the portal. Dabi didn't follow. He stared as Hawks caught his kid and held him gently.

Tokoyami's eyes were still open. Red and full of fear, staring up at the sky as it it had grown a pair of hands and flipped him off. Hawks stared at his students neck. It wasn't very obvious because of the red cloth, but it had definitely been broken. His interns chest didnt rise or fall, it stayed still and the tremors had stopped too.

Aziawa came over quietly. He stared at his students eyes for a moment before shutting them. Hawks shook, head buried in his kids shoulder. Miruko came over sluggishly. "I'm sorry..." She whispered, voice cracking. Hawks shook his head, refusing to believe it.

There was movement. Maybe...?

Dark Shadow emerged, small and wispy. "I'm sorry I couldn't keep him safe..." The quirk said softly. "And I'm sorry I cant stay." Hawks looked up. Dark Shadow faded. "I'll tell Fumi you said hello! Maybe we can see you soon? After Fumi wakes up?" There wasnt an answer.

The last piece of Tokoyami disappeared, and the heros were left alone.

Hawks let out a dry sob. That was the only sound made for a long time.

Dabi left. He didnt say anything, but sat on a balcony and smoked. He took a long drag before looking up. "Sorry, bird brain..." Dabi said to no one. He took another drag and sighed.

Breaking the news was hard, and it took a while for things to go back to 'normal' but the class helped each other move on slowly. Hawks didnt last much longer, and the world lost two birds-heros.

When they reunited, they were happy. Albeit rocky at the start, but they got used to the whole 'we get to haunt people now' thing quickly. Hawks– Kiego had fun with his bird-bro in the afterlife, and that made death worth it.

Lordie if this didnt kill me—

Also I'm sorry for it rushing at the end! I wanted to get it out as quick as I could.

Hope you enjoyed this! Fluff is next because they need a break lmao—

[themeed]

damn allowed myself to want things for a day and all i want is a van to live in, knowledge, freedom, weight loss, and a bass guitar.

im. happy with that i think. im proud of me, no jokes. im proud of being able to want things and care about them and vibrate towards them with longing. im... pleased with that. its fulfilling in a way Not Wanting For Anything isnt, because thats... kinda hollow. empty. in a vacant, lonely, yearning and grieving and SAD way. maybe because i Couldnt Want then. i Couldnt Desire or it would be used against me or taken away. that sucks. that sucked.

and now. im free to want again. and comparatively???? i think im very much never going to aim for buddhism or that weird Not Desiring Not Attached Nirvana mindset. like good for u but been there out of trauma and its not fun theres no reason to truly Live. u just float endlessly and experience and it aches so badly!!!! it hurts to want to want and not be able to. and i guess that is different from not wanting at all but... its not different enough for me to justify ever going back to that. or going forward to that. i just got this back and screw enlightenment if it means i have to give up on my passions i dont think life is worth living without it.

and anybody who looks down on that from a spiritual tower has yet to examine their own pride and how empty they feel without it.

anybody who looks down and smiles and wishes me luck on my journey? good for them. im glad theyre living their best life, on their journey as they see fit.

and i feel the need to protect myself because ive been hurt by the pride- the arrogance of others before. a lot of my hurts and traumas stem from my mother being too prideful to recognize that she can be wrong and someone under her power could be correct over her. and it was an uncomfortable truth. so she denied it was one at all and hurt me. i know the reason could be elaborated on. she didnt want to confront her own internal logic. or trauma. or even doublethink. that doesnt excuse her hurting a child for the sake of her sense of pride, of comfort, of self-worth. a child under her power, that she claimed to be parent of. teacher of.

not owing anyone anything is not the same as not hurting anyone. i havent reconciled that yet. oppressors should be held accountable for their mistakes, and give reparations if the harm is physical at LEAST. and i think that applies to politics, yes. privately though? if i beat up a nazi, i dont want to pay for his hospital bills. my personal philosophy struggles between equating people and ideas as a worth measurement, and realizing that that line of thinking is... similar to oppressors. but. its based on something people can change. the question is, do i think "if given the opportunity" is a good enough reason to stop and question a racist that runs their mouth? and do i think pre-emptive violence is okay? if say, a nazi walks into a bar and doesnt say anything but is wearing all the red flags and bells and whistles. i dont think that justifies a beatdown. being asked to leave, sure, but the beatdown doesnt start til the first remark flies.

once the intent is given OR the action is taken, the line is drawn. doesnt matter if they Havent Had The Chance. if theyre starting shit outside of debate spaces like that, and not, say, asking questions, theyre not looking for new perspectives, and it is NOT my job to educate people. its not my job to Show People The Light. a quick fucking google search could tell them why theyre wrong. if they havent put even the most basic energy into questioning their beliefs, thats on them.

it sounds like im trying to absolve myself of blame here. largely because. i think i should go out and help educate people because theyre inherently complacent if theyre, yknow, in a position of power. aka white folk and men and rich folk and cis folk and on and on and on. these people dont live my reality. they dont live the reality of a gay black man in the south, or a genderqueer lesbian in the west, or an indigenous woman whose nation is being targeted, or a muslim woman who cannot wear her headcoverings in the face of danger of death, or an asian immigrant who cant get a job because of COVD age discrimination resurging. we will never live each others realities, but we can become aware of them.

they wont come into awareness without someone asking or telling, and then doing something to change them.

we shouldnt need to go running to people in power for them to be aware of problems in the populace, govt is supposed to help and solve issues like this. like. actively. thats the whole point, make life better for the countrys citizens. and individuals in a position of social power...

are individuals who didnt take on a responsibility to protect and serve or otherwise care for the populace of a nation. i personally think they SHOULD care, but they are not obligated to. i cant make them care about others.

and honestly, on some of them, it would be a waste of time. there are people who want to change or question things and yknow what? they seek out answers. in people or places or online usually. stats and stories.

so like. i dont think someones Potential as a person matters when theres a throwdown about to happen. it really isnt my responsibility to save people from themselves or try to change their sides against their will. if they want to chat about it they can ask questions first.

not throw insults or punches or hatred.

what people have been taught is worth analyzing and trying to correct IN SOCIETY but i cant fix every broken white boy that comes to me. PSAs, fliers, outreach, online videos, debate spaces. those are things i already have access to and can be a part of if i really want to go around changing minds. or yknow. get involved in legislation and be myself around others to change their perceptions of whats socially acceptable or normal. maybe protest, maybe call congressfolk, etc.

but not every comment has to be analyzed or a learning opportunity. im allowed to shut it down, and people can respect that or stop talking to me. this isnt my parents house where i had to justify everything that i said or did when scrutinized, and doubly justify any criticism i had of mother, or any joke i frowned at instead of smiling.

these people dont have that power over me. they arent my mother. they arent my boss, and if they are i can fuck off and get a new job if necessary. they dont have financial control over my living space and food and schooling and physical control of where i can go and with who and for how long. I CONTROL THAT. I do.

Huh. maybe thats why i want a van so bad. i mean... when this lease ends if nobody is gonna end up living with me...

i could just... live in my car and shower at truck stops. get a storage unit for my stuff. save by driving jobs. like 40 to 60 a day. tear out my cars back, insulate it, and install my mattress pad there. water on the floor, cooler next to it, wooden cutting coard, knife, single camping plateware set, and another little shelf for spices. maybe a hot plate i can hook up to the car battery? get a long enough usb and it might be doable. i could go camping and open the trunk to just... vibe.

because yeah, honestly? i dont plan on having a solid apartment for a bit. like a long bit. and i still have like 70000 miles on my car before itll want to go. and by that point, even at like 100 miles a day, thats like 2 years, less if i go cross country in that vehicle. i could save up SO MUCH for a better vehicle, or like. college. live on campus, get some credit, continue working after i figure out want i want to do.

i think thats a solid plan, even if i dont get another apartment and put everything in storage. work as i need to instead of all the time for rent, really only paying for gas, car repairs, car ins, food, and phone data/hotspot internet... that would bring my monthly expenses down to like 500 a month max instead of like 1400. id only need to make some 1000 a month doing contract stuff to save for taxes and stuff. anything extra would be just that: extra for savings and things. holy shit.

depending on how this next month goes for my friends, holy s h i t.

i. i might do this. legitimately.

i. dont think i can yet. i need proof of address to get my license im pretty sure? but hey, thatll be my 21st this year, so. once i have that i wont need a new address for a While. i dont know if ill want one, really.

i could always just ask a friend or family member if i could use theirs for mail that cant go to a PO box.

anyway. yeah. wow.

[halorocks1214]

the law of attraction

AO3 Link

Word Count: 5464

Summary:  The Law of Attraction demonstrates how we create the things, events, and people that come into our lives. Our thoughts, feelings, words, and actions produce energies which, in turn, attract like energies. Negative energies attract negative energies and positive energies attract positive energies

Previous Parts (in order): Alan | You are here!

holy shit i need to stop telling myself to keep my fics short cuz thats what always makes them three times longer than i originally planned. anYWAYS, i know the point of fabfivefeb is kinda to focus on one bro a week specifically, buuuut my brain grabbed my face, yelled an idea into it and now this is going to be a full series i guess. i hope this still counts! also, just as a warning, the first few fics are going to be chronologically out of order-- gordons pov fic, aka this one, comes like, almost last in the line of fics i have planned-- but im hoping that just adds to the aesthetic im giving this series

thanks again to @gumnut-logic​ for the wonderful prompt ideas. i used “How did you do that?” and iridescent

--------

If you asked just-turned-10-years-old Gordon what he thought of his kid brother, you would probably be horrified at the things he could and did say.

Nowadays the 22-year-old felt bad about it-- like, exponentially so-- but back then he couldn’t help it. It was a Tracy rite-of-passage to not want a younger sibling when they came-- yes, even Scott, who Gordon secretly believed it was his fault for John being so nerdy. You should have wanted a nice pair of tennis shoes in his place, Scotty, not a chemistry kit.

Gordon, for all intents purposes, managed to be the worst-case out of four. Virgil wondered if his fiery temper rubbed off on Alan growing up, and the more Gordon caught wind of how Alan could be when angry, the more Gordon thought his immediate older brother was right.

Regardless, everyone in the family managed to at least get the OG Tracy baby to play nice when Alan was born. Gordon’s involvement could be described as nothing: he never did anything to actively harm Alan (he was raised better than that, c’mon), but whenever Gordon could get away from the tiny tot, he did. A couple of years went by, the world adjusted to five Tracy sons, and so did the Tracy family. Even Gordon was starting to see the merit in being an older brother.

Then, tragedy struck.

The avalanche that ripped apart their entire world came crashing down in more ways than one. Hoo boy, the tabloids had a field day with it. They always wanted to know every little detail, and when the family refused to give them anything, they came up with their own stories. The only details they got were from cheating, as a nosy reporter managed to grab a picture of 3-year-old Alan fighting for his life in the hospital, and the internet ran with it.

It was very quickly found out that their mother had died in the disaster as well, and along with the little snake’s photo of Alan, accusations were thrown around as if they were nothing more than plush baseballs, not full-blown knives digging into the Tracy men’s skin. Where was Jeff Tracy? Did he leave his wife and youngest to perish without a thought? The man did have four older sons, maybe he considered them to be more valuable? The last child wasn’t a planned addition in the first place, so it wouldn’t be too far of a stretch to assume so!

What they would never know, Gordon thought bitterly and spitefully, was how Alan wasn’t the only Tracy kid that played in the snow that day. Alan easily got sick as a child for undetermined reasons, and lo and behold, the tiny blonde started running a low-grade fever during their vacation. Lucy offered to stay with Alan at the cabin while Jeff went to find an on-sight doctor. Virgil, who was starting to get into that kind of stuff, went with him.

John saw… something in the gift shop he wanted to grab (none of the brothers could really tell you that much about that day anymore), and since it was relatively close to where Jeff needed to ask for a doctor, the parents felt it would be okay for the red-head to explore the shop by himself, especially since John was easily the most well-behaved out of the children. Gordon was going to go with them to-- what did you expect-- get away from Alan. That’s when smother-hen-in-the-making Scott suggested Gordon stay back with Alan so he could get to know the baby of the family more.

The only reason Gordon agreed to stay was that Scott was staying as well. Gordon hadn’t had that much time recently to hang out with his oldest bro, so he thought it was worth dealing with the little tyke in the room as well. Besides, mom was there too. She could watch him.

Gordon couldn’t for the life of him remember who was where when the literal tons of snow came to say hi. They all got knocked out relatively quick, but from Dad’s recollection of Scott’s eye-witness account, Scott and mom woke up at some point. Scott then went on to carry his youngest siblings out and away from the danger zone, only to re-pass out a good distance away from the buried cabin.

There were many details left out by Scott, and even more were left out by their father, who wanted to give his eldest some sense of security despite all the chaos. Gordon would only learn a little bit more (and by golly was it enough) when he was 16 and grounded by Scott himself. We know Dad is gone! Stop trying to replace him! Gordon shamefully admits that he was purposefully trying back then to be as difficult as possible. Sure, it was due to grief over losing their last living parent, but that didn’t mean he had to take out his rage like he was less than half his age.

People always credited Alan as being the angry baby, but Gordon could be a right bastard when he wanted.

Virgil shut up him right up with a tiny admission that Gordon would never let Scott know he knew. It was the least the swimmer could do after everything their oldest brother gave up.

“You know he promised her, right?”

Teenaged Gordon hissed as Virgil readjusted his piggyback, jostling Gordon’s broken leg in the process. Sneaking out didn’t really seem all that thrilling anymore. He still managed to squeak out through gritted teeth, “W-What?”

Virgil kept his face straight, a weird kind of stoic covering all of his emotions burning within, “Scott promised mom he would keep you two safe. It was the only thing he could do for her.”

That gut-punch didn’t help Gordon’s bruised ribs, and Virgil should have just broken his leg more next. Would have been a nicer follow up than the metaphorical groin kick Gordon received.

“Dad wondered if she was even aware-- or maybe even alive-- enough to hear him.”

Gordon had a lot of time in the hospital to think about those words, even more so when he watched his brunette brother sleep by his bedside. 22-year-old Scott should have been furious, should have ripped him a new one for being such a prick, but the only thing Gordon witnessed him do that night was run into the room as soon as he got the news that Gordon was okay and gently collapse onto his younger brother to collect the blonde into his arms while he tried desperately not to break down-- tried to be strong. Gordon was so caught off guard that he could only wrap his arms back around Scott in a weak attempt to reassure the new head of the Tracy Clan.

Later in the week when Gordon wasn’t so dead on his feet, Scott finally found the reprimand he wanted to give and tore into Gordon. Of course, Gordon snapped back too. They had the typical ‘What were you thinking?!’ ‘I wanted to have fun!’ kind of argument, but it was… softer, in a way, especially on Gordon’s part.

During that same night, after the argument, Gordon would hear 10-year-old Alan sneak into his room with a box full of familiar lights, abruptly reminding Gordon of a feeling he felt a long time ago, back during the ‘recovery’ part of the aftermath of the avalanche. One he couldn’t entirely explain until right then, thanks to Scott’s reactions throughout that entire week.

See, Scott’s plan of Gordon getting along with Alan backfired pretty horribly as Gordon, in all of his trauma and denial, managed to loop his tiny mind around into thinking Alan was at least partially responsible. If he wasn’t sick… if he wasn’t there… if he hadn’t been born--

Yeah, he was 8 at the time, but Gordon still feels sick for even coming up with that thought way back when.

Well, what’s done is done, and for the majority of the first two years, after their wonderful mom left the Earth, Gordon could only describe it like a daze of sorts. Dad was drowning himself in his work, Scott had seen horrors not even adults should’ve had to have seen, Gordon was stuck in the nice world of childhood depression, Virgil and John were caught in the middle like they always were and sometimes still are, and Alan? They really weren’t sure what he was going through due to one simple problem.

Because that was the joke of the day, the ironic twist so to speak. Believe it or not, Alan tended to be a quiet kid.

Many who knew their family would retort with yeah, anyone is quiet standing next to you, Gordon! or they would at least point out the constant babbling that tended to come from the youngest Tracy in the first place. First, Gordon would snort and admit, okay, that’s fair, and then explain how Alan was quiet when it really mattered.

And how it sucked.

The kid could go on and on about what video game he played recently or how stupid his homework was, but when you got down to it you couldn’t get Alan to talk enough.

Back when Alan still did school on the mainland, his older brothers didn’t even know he was being bullied until the bruises started showing up on parts that weren’t covered by clothes (the ones that were, though, damn). It didn’t even occur to the older brothers that Alan was getting more and more quiet each day. After getting the perpetrators expelled and rightfully ripped a new one, Scott and John asked Alan why on earth he didn’t tell them. He just shrugged his tiny kid shoulders and said, “It didn’t seem like that big of a deal.”

Virgil’s 18th birthday was a night to remember, not just because it was a blast, but because they spent half the night in the waiting room at the hospital. They were hanging out in the cities, which was probably already a bad idea. In the first half of the day, the five of them had to cross a crosswalk. Simple enough, right? However, with the torrent of adults much larger than him, 12-year-old Alan lost his grip on John’s hand and toppled over with his arm out in front of him, leaving the limb out on a silver platter to be squashed by a rather large boot.

The man that did it felt really bad, actually, which was a breath of fresh air. He insisted that he would pay for any medical bills that came from the accident. The only reason they never went to any medical facility (immediately, at least) was that, after calming down, Alan insisted his arm felt fine. His reaction time in his fingers was still okay as well, so they left it alone. The four of them probably should have questioned why Alan was so quiet for the rest of the party, but they were too into the euphoria of Virgil’s big day to realize so. A little bit more into the celebration and Alan went missing. It was a miracle that they got Scott to not run off to the nearest police officer immediately. In hindsight, they probably should have, but panic makes the mind go woo woo.

After an hour of searching, they found Alan silently crying his eyes out in a corner. Gordon suspected Virgil never really got over the guilt. None of them have, probably. They really should have insisted they got it checked out right away. Sure, the reason they mainly assumed it was okay was that they’ve been hit with worse and only walked away with bruises-- John walked home from school one day with dirt and mud in his hair, scrapes littering his arms, and when asked what happened the ginger silently commented, “I got hit by a car,” as if it wasn’t that big of a deal.

Not only did Jeff feel the number of years dwindle until his inevitable heart attack, but he also got to watch his eldest gain his first grey hairs with many more to come.

While getting a piggyback from yours truly, John calmly asked Alan why he didn’t say anything (again). The youngest just shrugged and buried his face into Gordon’s neck, “I didn’t want to be a problem. It’s Virge’s day…”

It would be a reoccurring problem for Alan to be hush-hush about physical and emotional strains put on him for years to come. It wasn’t a big problem out on the field (yet), but they were always extra sure to drill into the freckled boy if it seemed like he wasn’t talking as much as he usually did. They were pretty sure it came from the fact that Alan was originally, well, not planned, as all those wonderful journalists pointed out.

They never actively kept it a secret. The age gaps, as well as the press, made it real hard to do so in the first place. Plus, keeping things like that a secret did more damage than not. But the idea was there, and the idea of being a ‘burden’ on anyone was a damaging thought that always seemed to ring in the back of Alan’s subconscious, so he made sure to only speak when he felt he absolutely could or if it wasn’t too much of a task he was asking of them (which they all hated, Scott especially).

The rest of them hoped to pick up what Lucy left behind, which was her efforts to make her newest son feel wanted and loved despite not being apart of the original quota. Gordon worried his older brothers felt a little too guilty about not being able to fully wash it away. It was part of the reason they let him act a little bit childishly on missions: if he feels comfortable enough to do so, then they can’t take it away from him out of fear that they’ll never get it back. It was also why he was just so excited to go on a mission: he could prove himself to be just as good as his older brothers.

Speaking of their mother (man, Gordon loved to ramble tonight, didn’t he), the whole reason any of this was a thing in the first place was Alan’s reaction to the avalanche. That’s when his whole ‘silent act’ issue became apparent. Because the kid became quiet. Period. He stopped talking for two years. Young Gordon wouldn’t even realize this until Virgil started to teach him ASL in their free time. Alan was still an energetic kid, he just… could not get his voice box to work.

The doctors insisted there was no physical damage, either, so they just had to wait and learn ways around it.

Gordon just could not wrap his young, tiny mind around why his loud and obnoxious and annoying younger bro just shut up. Intrigued at the idea of Alan actually being quiet, Gordon started to hang out with him more, especially since Gordon craved the general sense of peace during that time in his life. Yep, crazy, energy-lover Gordon needed the space to just sit and think, and where better than to rant about how crappy life was then at your great-listener-because-he-didn’t-want-to-talk brother.

As time went on in the second half of those two years, the youngest two grew close. Closer than any of the older brothers thought possible. Scott thinks they created their own hand language just for themselves during that time. Gordon was slowly becoming more and more himself, and Alan, well, still didn’t talk, but his energetic-ness was getting bigger and bigger each passing day. Unfortunately, so did their eagerness to be the biggest piece of shits in the world.

Baby Alan stumbled across a can of whip cream that the family forgot to put away. Toddling over to Gordon, the little one shook the can around as a way to say, ‘What could we do with this?’

Gordon’s first idea was to put a huge, glopping pile right on Scott’s pillow where his head directly laid. The sputtering and anger Scott responded with, as well as Virgil’s and John’s snickers at the whole thing, filled Gordon’s head with a million ways to continue his meticulous schemes. Alan got roped in the second the general idea of being able to make his family happy came to fruition.

April 16th was the day The Terrible Two officially started. Virgil was pretty sure he saw John’s calendar with this day marked specifically as a way to remind him not to come down. Virgil just wished he could ask his immediate older brother to let him up on ‘Five that day too.

Their pranks became more and more intense as they came up with each new one, and on the anniversary of their mother’s passing, they disappeared the entire morning. Due to grief, and the fact none of the remaining three sons wanted to deal with tar and feathers or their coffee mug shocking them again, they didn’t think too much of it. Honestly, after the last prank of filling their pillows with jello, they found the quietness to be a blessing. Then the sun started to set without the two of them home yet and they saw it as less of a blessing and more of a curse.

They couldn’t lose them, not on that day.

The house security cams showed the two of them heading into the woods behind their house with some kind of box, and that was all Scott, John, and Virgil needed to go sprinting out of the house. At this point, Dad was getting better about not drowning in work, but he still needed a little more counseling before he would be fully back. That left the three eldest brothers to go on a wild goose chase.

After searching for what Scott remembered feeling like a thousand years, they stumbled upon the two blondes giggling in an opening in the trees. Bursting through the bushes without a second thought, Scott and Virgil (with John behind them) not only saw their brothers unharmed and having a blast in the middle of the opening, all around them in the trees hung big and bright lights. It was as if they were standing in a pocket of stars. Stars they made from their own will and determination.

It was iridescent enough to make the three older brothers gasp just once before remembering why they were out in the dark and cold woods in the first place. Scott trudged over a little more forcefully than he probably realized. Right as he stood over his two youngest brothers, Alan’s tiny, freckled face looked up into his eyes obliviously and pointed at the set of lights.

“Look! Gordz made it pretty!”

Scott and Virgil wrapped their younger brother in the biggest bear hug ever, anger and fear forgotten. It was quiet, whispered and somewhat broken from two years of non-use, but damn, it was Alan. The light at the end of the tunnel seemed even closer. The two of them might have stained the back of Alan’s shirt with tears. Alan didn’t need to know.

Meanwhile, John, flabbergasted and slowly entering a state of shock due to his adrenaline drop followed by even more adrenaline after hearing Alan again, walked over to where Gordon was and simply asked, “How did you do… that?”

It was a question for more than one thing: how did you get Alan to start talking? How did you hang up the lights with no serious injury? How did the two of you grow up so quickly and closely without us even realizing?

All Gordon did was shrug, bring his hands behind his head with his elbows above it, and cheekily grinned, “There are just some secrets two brothers need to keep!”

When the two blondes shared a room that night, tangled with one another like the cords in the lights, Gordon felt something in his chest. It was something warm and fuzzy, and he would only feel it again for years to come when it was towards his only younger brother.

The 10-year-old didn’t know what it was, but he knew that when he figured it out, he would try to be better at it than Scott ever was. Heh, nowadays, he realized that probably wasn’t possible, but that was also okay.

Alan only needed one Scooter.

Right now, however, he needed his one and only Gordz.

---

Brains and other therapists suggested the reason Alan got quiet after going through a traumatic event was simply that it was easier to block things out if you were quiet.

All the brain energy that went to his mouth could be used to not think about the awful things he heard or witnessed. It was perfect. It left the rest of his brain to still be used for all of the other things he liked to do: he could hang out with his brothers and sister, play video games, and (unfortunately) work on homework without cause of concern.

Alan thought it was simple. His family thought it was torture. After all, he wouldn’t tell them what was wrong, and if he didn’t tell them they couldn’t fix it. It was everything their ‘am big person, protect the small’ inner programming hated and they felt like screaming. It was the avalanche again. It was Alan’s bullies again. It was the broken arm again. It was Dad’s disappearance again. Man, they never thought Alan would come back after that one.

But dammit, Gordon thought, their dad isn’t gone anymore, and it was because their stupid, selfless little brother was willing to go through hell and back to get him for them. The least Gordon could do was show Alan how much it was appreciated. How much he was appreciated.

But at this point, Gordon was on the verge of calling it a night.

It was a simple fucking question: do you remember where those stringed lights were?

Sure, it’s been God knows how many years since anyone has pulled them out, and Grandma did pack away a lot of stuff in rather secluded places that she deemed unimportant or, well, too traumatizing. But they could at least give him a general direction on where to go! Everyone knew the basic details of the layout of their storage compartments, come on!

Gordon was sitting in the kitchen, groaning into his hands when he heard someone clearing their throat from the doorway. Snapping his face away from his palms, he looked up into the eyes of none other than his father. The older man had eye bags for days, and his eyes were a little wearier than Gordon liked, but the small grin made Gordon feel like everything was alright.

Or maybe it was the box with the familiar lights in his arms. Mostly that.

Gordon stood up and blinked, “D-Dad--”

Jeff walked into the kitchen in a way that spoke, ‘let me say this first,’ “Scott mentioned you were driving your family crazy searching for this. I may not know how you boys set up the island after I left, but I do know your grandmother is stubborn as a bull. The only place she would have put this was in the decorations closet, where it wasn’t, which I’m sure you figured out, hence the constant nagging, so that means some kind of outside force moved it to a place least expected.”

Gordon was lost, “Where was it?”

Jeff let out a slight huff of air, “The back of Alan’s closet.”

Damn. Dammit dammit damn. Why wasn’t that obvious?

With a grip gentler than Gordon remembered he had, he took the box from Jeff. As he was examining the contents, he was able to smile at his father, “Thanks, Dad, this is exactly what I wanted.”

Jeff laid a hand on his son’s shoulder, squeezing softly, “I’ve left this family to take care of itself twice in my lifetime, it was the least I could do. May I ask why you need them?”

The least I could do: goddamn was this family a hive mind sometimes. That didn’t stop Gordon from asking his burning question, “How quickly can we make these waterproof?”

It took all of half a second for Jeff to raise his eyebrows in confusion, followed by one of his trademark grins.

Oh yeah, the Tracy family was coming back

---

“Shhh Allie, keep it on.”

Alan rolled his eyes. Whenever Gordon blindfolded him it always ended poorly. Whether the ultimate bad ending would come to Alan or Gordon completely depended on how previously well-thought-out Gordon planned this to be. Regardless, Alan needed to do something other than chores and college applications since there was none of it left for today. He was getting so good it was kind of bad. In fact, one of the first things he did was drown himself in his work to the point that everything he missed in his captivity was done within the first three days of being back.

And here the public thought Alan and his father had nothing in common.

Alan felt Gordon’s hands on his shoulders the entire time they walked together. Eventually, they paused as Gordon needed to open the door to the outside, which was a great sign, by the way. Alan’s ears were picking up every little noise, including each of the thunks their feet made down the stairs, as well as the whistling of the wind blowing through their hair. Alan didn’t need to take off the blindfold to know it was night. The last thing Alan was looking at before Gordon scared the shit out of him with the blindfold from nowhere was the clock, 10:04 PM.

The thunks suddenly became less hollow, signaling they were on solid ground. It took Alan a couple of seconds longer than he would’ve liked to realize that Gordo was walking them straight towards the pool. Alan, remembering all the times he’d been shoved in it, started to fight back. Only minorly, though, like a baby wolf trying to overtake the Alpha of the pack. In the end, it didn’t matter, as Gordon stopped both of them with a slight push downward on Alan’s shoulders, signaling he didn’t need to walk anymore.

Gordon took his hands away and started speaking when he saw Alan wasn’t going anywhere. He walked around to the front of his brother, “So… this might be a long shot, but you remember those ‘starry lights’ we played with all the time?”

Alan blinked a few times behind the blindfold. Yeah, he did remember them. It was a huge staple between them. The days it got hard, or cold, or when it seemed like nothing would get better, they would pull those lights out and forget everything else. It felt like they were surrounded by a blanket of hope.

Gordon first wanted to do it in some random room at their old house two years after their mother passed, but quiet Alan suggested they go out to the woods. He flapped his tiny hands, and to paraphrase what he said, We’ll have more room! Plus, the real stars will make it even cooler!

From then on, it was just another thing between the two of them. They pulled the lights out when one of them was sad and the other wanted to cheer them up. After their mother’s death, after failing a test at school, after Dad’s disappearance, after Gordon’s hydrofoil crash…

Gordon will forever be grateful for Alan’s ability to be a little piece of shit. He’ll never know how the kid snuck the box into the hospital and he hoped he never found out. The hospital staff wasn’t as thrilled by the lights hung up around the room. Gordon was pretty sure he saw the pic up on ‘Five at one point, though, so at least someone appreciated their talents.

Right, the important matter at hand. Gordon needed to work on his rambling-when-stressed problem, “Well, Allie Allie Allie, guess what I found?”

Before Alan could tilt his head, the blindfold was untied from his head by Gordon. It fell off his face to reveal said older brother standing directly in front of him with a grin on his face that said, ‘you’re not going to believe this.’ Once Gordon saw Alan’s attention was completely on him, he stepped out of the way quickly so Alan’s line of focus could stay on what was in front of him and not just on his brother.

Alan’s breath caught in his throat.

Gordon smirked at his brother’s flabbergasted look, “You know how they say how the ocean isn’t that much different than deep space? Well, I think I found a way to make them even closer.”

Alan held his hand out in front of him only slightly. He was worried if he moved anything that the beautiful sight in front of him would go away. Those wonderful, amazing lights were all submerged in the pool in various spots near the bottom, the refractions making it look like there were twice as many. The pool looked like it had a weird, unique case of the chickenpox. It was breathtaking.

Little puffs of Alan’s breath were condensing into the familiar white clouds in front of his face due to the chill, but he didn’t care. The sight in front of him was much more important. Before he could sign a thank you, or maybe even just cry (which he would hate, thank God for interruptions), Gordon slung an arm around Alan’s shoulders, catching the freckled boy’s attention again.

Gordon waited for those wide, blue eyes to look at him directly before beginning, “I can’t even begin to imagine what happened up there. Part of me wants to be selfish and never come up with thoughts even close to that kind of shit, but… it’s not fair to you.”

Alan blinked and was suddenly turned 90 degrees to be standing front-to-front with Gordon. The older brother continued speaking when he put his hands on Alan’s shoulders, stretching his arms out to their full length, “You don’t… you don’t have to talk about everything, I know that first hand, but… don’t shut us out. You’re not a burden, you’re not a problem, I know that’s a thought of yours that’s been made worse by that bastard but the last thing I want is to--”

Gordon choked off his words due to a mixture of rage and pure sadness bubbling within. Suddenly, he couldn’t look Alan in the eyes anymore, “I just don’t want to fail you any more than I already have.”

Gordon looked down at their feet to watch some of his tears fall to the ground and splish-splash on the concrete. Dammit, he promised a lot of things (mainly himself) that he would be strong for this, but he supposes he was never the best at taking things seriously.

Gordon’s breath hitched at the feeling of two small hands on his cheeks. Those same hands brought his face back up to look at Alan sadly grinning, his own tears starting to form in his blue eyes. Before Gordon could curse himself out for failing this plan so spectacularly, his heart stopped in a good way at a tiny admission, a verbal one.

“Please… don’t make… me cry, too…”

Holy shit. Part of Gordon’s brain thought, ‘sweet, it only took a few weeks, a new record!’ but the other part, the big brother one day I’ll be better than Scott! part leaped a hundred feet in the air out of pure joy. With a laugh, Gordon yanked Alan into his arms and squeezed tight. Alan simply returned the gesture, albeit his arms were around Gordon’s waist, nor was his grip as strong. They did both have tear tracks on their cheeks, however.

Alan was still there. He was still their selfless, annoying, little bro, and he might not be fully back, but it was enough to know that not even the fucking Hood could take him away from them.

It would take a while to get back to normal. Scott would still pass out due to exhaustion from time to time until he fully realized it was all over, John, while not physically up on ‘Five, would take a while to fully come back down to Earth, Virgil was going to be found at that damn piano bench more than in his own room, and God only knew how Kayo or even Dad was going to react as the days went forward.

But they would get there. The Terrible Two were going to make sure of it, one prank at a time.

[nickuwonu-blog]

suffer pt. 2 [z.k]

warning: sexual content, i would say 'don't read if you're under sixteen' but my smut is so mediocre and amatuer that it doesn't even matter lmao.

word count: 1,500+

a/n: im trying out this new style of writing, i think i like it tbh but let me know what you think. and this is my first time writing smut so if it's cringy then sis i am so sorry. also, i had to cut this shit short because it was getting too long for my liking. but, if you guys want a part 3 with just smut then let me know.

"i'm still kinda pissed at the fact you didn't tell me your real name until after, like, the third time we hung out," zion turned himself over in her bed as he watched her get re-dressed before his very eyes. he watched as she rolled her eyes at him out of spite while pulling a shirt two-times larger for her over her head.

"you say 'hang out' as if we were literally just friends hanging out, we hooked up and you know that," she walked away to enter her bathroom, leaving zion with a shocked but not surprised look on his face. he leaned over so she was still in his viewing range. "regardless, i had to find out through instagram. why didn't you just tell me your name was (y/n)? is that even your real name?" he was still skeptical, which was understandable.

"yeah, it is. and i only lied to you about my name because you lied to me about yours," she searched around for a hairbrush before finding it and running through her hair. in this moment, zion thought she looked beautiful; but he'd never tell her that, she'd only tease him for it and tell him not to say things like that. he didn't know why she was like this to him, but he was too whipped for her to care.

"i didn't lie about my name, what are you talking about?"

she continued to brush her hair while staring at herself in the mirror, "zion is your middle name, caleb is your first name. and i had to find that out through elom. by the way, can you tell him to stop commenting heart eyes on my pics? it's weird."

zion laughed as he rememberd all the times he'd seen his younger brother under (y/n)'s pictures. "the boy's got good taste," he discretely complimented her but hoped that she hadn't noticed.

"shut up," she noticed, "stop being soft." she pulled the hairtie around her wrist up into her hair and formed a bun, zion was amazed at how quickly she did so but left his compliments to himself. "friends say nice things to each other, yanno." he nagged.

"good thing we're not friends," she shut off the light before walking back into her bedroom. she sat on the edge of her own bed in front of zion, scared of being too close to him. "well, does this make you my girlfriend?"

she snickered, "definitely not. oh god, no."

still basking in the afterglow from the passion that happened between them only a few minutes ago, zion sat up in the bed and pulled she sheets off of his bare chest. "then can you tell me what we are 'cause my fans are starting to notice. i don't wanna leave them in the dark."

"ugh," she groaned, hanging her head down. "why does everything with you have to be so damn serious when it comes to me? loosin' up a little bit. alexa," she called out to the robotic personal assitant, "play 'why don't we'." she smirked, turning to zion.

"now playing 'why don't we'." alexa responded, before an unfamiliar tune played in the room, causing zion to grimace. "turn that shit off, you play too damn much." much to zion's annoyance she only smiled at him, "and you don't play enough."

zion rolled his eyes before running his hands through his hair for the millionth time that night, "if we're not friends and we're not dating then what are we?"

"why do you keep doing that? running your hands in your hair? stop it." she responded, avoiding his question as much as possible.

"'cause you pulled it too hard."

"maybe you can return the favor, yeah?" finally showing intrest in the conversation she began to move closer to zion as she watch his face automatically tense up.

he shook his head, much to her surprise. "how do you expect me to concentrate when a group of white boys are playing in the background talking about some fucking trust fund baby? whatever the fuck that means."

"good point," she turned to alexa, "alexa, play 'bleach' by 'brockhampton'."

"now playing 'brockhampton'." she turned back to look at zion once the music starting flowing within the room, making the overall presence more calmer and more enjoyable for the both of them. zion looked at her and suddenly became self-aware of what her intentions were right now: a second round to avoid confrontation. although he didn't mind, he was still gonna find a way to sneak the conversation

"what are you trying to do?" he asked once she crawled to sit directly next to him.

"nothing," she said. "seduce you."

"it's working," he replied once felt her suddenly sit on his lap. staring up at her, zion realized he was never truly going to get the message through to her that he wanted more from her. he wanted to be able to see and talk to her through the day and go and dates and be able to call her his girlfriend. but, she just wasn't quite ready for that yet. and he didn't know why, but that wasn't going to stop him from finding out.

"so...who was the girl you went live with today?" she questioned, a hint of jealousy in her tone as she placed her hands on zion's chest. he could tell she was feeling jealous and, in a way, it made him happy. it showed she cares about who he talks to and it showes she cared enough about him to watch another girl's live simply because he was in it.

"what girl?" he pretended to act clueless, only to annoy her (and it worked).

"well..." she pushed her hips down the slightest bit until zion could feel the fabric of her underwear brush against the crotch area of his sweatpants. "a girl went live and i saw you joined in? it's not a big deal, like, if you don't wanna say who she is that's fine i don't care. i'm just curious.

"tell me you love me and i'll tell you who she is," zion barely pulled up the large shirt up her body until he was able to see the lacy, black hem of her underwear. "i love you, now tell me who she is." zion was shocked at how quickly she could tell him she loved him yet have it not mean anything.

"she's a friend, zion smirked as he placed his hands on her hips. "you do know what that is, right?"

"shut up, i have friends other than you."

"wait, so i am your friend?" he questioned once he started to feel her soft lips connect with his neck. he knew she was trying to distract him, but it wasn't going to work. at least not this time.

"hmm?" she mumbled, clearly not intrested or listening to a word he was saying.

"i said: does this mean that i'm your--fuck," he groaned, accidentally interrupting his own sentence once he felt the friction of her hips slightly speed up against his length. "i'm listening," she lied. "keep talking."

"we're, uh, we're friends? like, i can call you if i wanna hang out?" he tried to keep his breathing pattern straight but fell short of doing so. "text me," she mumbled, starting to tug at the hem of his sweatpants.

"what?" he asked.

"if you want to hang out," she sat up in zion's lap, pulling him up with her, "you can text me. don't call, i hate talking on the phone."

"deadass?" he questioned, getting more excited by the second. if he had no chances of dating this girl, the most he'd want out of her is a friendship. it seemed as if god was finally answering all of his prayers tonight.

she slowly managed to wrap her legs around his torso, "phone calls are awkward, why does it matter? what's the difference, anyway?"

"no," he shook his head, "i mean about the hanging out thing, you'd actually be down to do normal shit?"

"what do you consider normal shit that friends do?"

"i don't know: go out to lunch, chill together, be nice to one another?" his statement came out as a question while he began to search her face for some sort of validation. "sure, yeah. we can do that."

'oh fuck' he thought, 'holy fucking shit.'

not knowing how to respond, his smile was enough to tell her he was genuienly happy; and so was she. however, his body knew exactly what to do (his fingers, more specifically). moving his fingertips from her waist, his thumb and index glided across her skin until it reached the very spot right under her belly button. she felt as if zion was staring into her soul as they maintained eye contact.

"uh, what are you doing?" she asked, nearly shivering at the feeling of his fingers slowing starting to inch towards her underwear. "i'm be friendly." he replied, flashing her an innocent smile.

"friends don't act like," she suddenly inhaled a sharp breath, feeling a new sensation stir inside of her. holding onto zion's shoulders, she kept her breathing at a steady pace as she avoided looking directly at him.

"finish your sentence, baby," he stated as his lips began to move across her collarbone. "friends don't act like this." she completed, finally.

"friends liked us do." he mumbled against her skin in the most sensual way possible.

[firstgeners]

trying to keep these resolutions

hi friends, it’s me your favorite wolf, coming out during a full moon *Shakira voice* a-OOOO. is it even a full moon? is mercury in reggaetton again? whatever, ya’ll know what I mean. a lot has been going on since my last post, so this is gonna be a long one. get ready ladies and gents. so, new job, new brother in law, another amazing Conscious Queens and I’m already starting my planning for 2019. let’s talk about this title real quick, real quick. resolutions in July instead of January? for why? 

 so fun fact, I consider my birthday as a new year, Samiah New Year was in May. and this is the year of the glo up. Or at least that’s what I’ve intended. And I don’t know what it is about this year, but my life clock struck 27 years and all ze fax went out the window.

 I’ve been working to become closer to my faith, and the concept of setting intentions has become more ingrained in me. In Islam, intention is almost everything. If you intend to do something good, there is a reward in that; if you actually fulfill that intention there’s another reward for that. If you intend to do something good, but the execution is basura, your intention will always save you. I’ve typed the word “intention” so many times in these last few sentences that it doesn’t even look like a word to me anymore. 

so let’s go back and talk about these resolutions. I wanna share what I’m actively working on in year 27 of this series of ridiculous events that make up Samiah. 

1.  Being brave enough to be unapologetically myself, and to stop trying to be perfect all the time.

Guys. this has been my favorite one. I have been my normal vocal, silly, annoying, stupid mistake making, randomly inquisitive, overbearingly loving self.  I live from my heart completely, this means that I occasionally make a damn fool out of myself but that's okay because I am free in my foolishness and fierce in my love. It’s been so freeing. like ripping off your bra after a long day. why the fuck did I wait so long? 

2. To give the most sincere love I can. 

to myself. my mother. the rest of my family. my friends. people I interact with everyday. if I find my person, then to him too. and I wanna talk about what sincere love means to me. it means to make sure Im communicating, being patient and kind, seeing and accepting the ugly, nurturing where I can, not trying to change anyone to what I think they should be. Being my best self.  and most importantly, accepting when someone reciprocates this sincerity, while letting go of those who take this precious love for granted. 

3.  Consistently learning more about my faith,  and practicing what I learn. 

This has been an ongoing one. But I set the intention to get my obligatory and optional prayers as part of my routine. I’m making efforts to read the Quran in English so I am understanding the stories and timelines better; honestly I feel an emotional bond to my holy book because of this. It truly is a book of transformation. I’m learning to listen, to accept, hasbunallah wanikmal wakil. I will say though, I feel myself being tested more, but am becoming more proud of my reactions. inshaAllah, to more growth, knowledge, and unconditional love. May Allah open our doors. 

4. To take care of my body and mind. 

My body is a temple, but I am the architect. this last Ramadan was so transformative. after so many years, I finally feel like myself. I don’t know how to explain it. I’m learning how to balance being giving, while also keeping my cup full. I’ve changed my diet so I’m consuming more of what my body needs and loves, not just sugar and grease and other things that are delicious, but dont need to be part of my everyday. I’m back in the gym regularly again, slowly getting stronger and it’s the bees knees I’ll tell ya. I cut down on the Netflix, and went back to my old habit of snuggling en la guarida de la loba with a good book and getting lost for hours. My current favorite is A Temporary Gift, but warning you will spend the first half of the book sobbing. Currently reading Big Magic, waiting on  The Unfinished Memoirs’ of Sheikh Mujibur Rahman to come back in stock cuz I needs to get my hands on it. 

5. Coming back to writing. 

This blog has been one of my favorite projects. I love connecting with you guys. I love hearing how you’re helping children in ICE detention centers reunite with their parents. I wanna help those working to rehabilitate human trafficking victims back to a normal everyday life. I want to spread awareness and support those raising money to help a friend afford their medical procedures. I wanna tell you about how I struggle to stand up for myself because I always fear I’ll be too rough and hurt someone else’s heart. Or how I struggle to let shit go, and to forgive. Or how I am proud of myself for working my ass off and getting myself so far in my career in a short amount of time. you guys are my tribe, ubuntu. 

6.  Stick to my traditions

I am a strong believer in weekly tea dates, pinky promises, and saying good morning/good night. I think the last one means the most to me. I know when I wake up in the morning, I am not guaranteed to be on this earth until the night. And when I go to sleep at night, I know it’s not guaranteed that I will wake up in the morning. Good mornings and good nights are my only guarantee that I’d at least leave the people I care for with 2 sweet words, and the memory of a sweet tradition. 

like I said a lot’s been happening. life is too fucking short to be anything less than happy. to settle for a career that doesnt set your passion ablaze. to hold onto a grudge when ya’ll could just forgive each other and move on. to stay stuck on someone that isn’t matching your vibration. to give up on something that you believe in to you core. take the negative shit with a grain of salt and focus on what makes you smile. and I know, this shit is easier said than done. but be strong and perseverant. focus. stay close to your pack. howl into the night when you need to.

let’s call these resolutions my intentions instead. hopefully I make it to year 28 with better intentions, and even better actions. May Allah open our doors. 

with love and respect always, 

samiah

[anti-yandere-dev]

hey so i 'redid' the yansim characters but not all of them i wrote 2 much so

[I put the submission under the cut since it was pretty lengthy]

hey whats up guys i had 2 put this in a submission as well as literally typed this in a note bc im on data & i dont wanna use a lot of it

basically my au takes place in a college instead. seems more fitting bc theyre actual adults & just feels Right.

theres more characters than there is in the original but thats mainly because i took the ‘genderbent versions’ & made them useful (i pretty much made them in2 siblings 4 some characters lol) anyways!! lets break down the characters

also lads, lassies, non-gender specific term for those bc i dont know the term, im givin yall a warning 4 self harm, suicide, nsfw implications/rape, possible drug abuse, and the rest of the Basic Criteria

Akihiko (Previously known as Senpai): He’s gay & trans. His name means 'bright prince’ which really has no significance, I just thought it was pretty……………and everyone views him as a prince bc he’s rly nice and kind and forgiving and actually has a personality other than being a cardboard box. Eventually gets into a commited relationship w/ 'Yandere-kun’ who I really need to give a name. Akihiko has a twin brother, I took that idea from the possibility of a younger sister, and admittingly(admittedly???) enough, Koumi’s 'genderbent’ Hanako. I’ll get into detail on his twin later, but they have a pretty good relationship. Akihiko (it was at this point i actually looked up a name 4 him & went back 2 edit stuff bc i h8 senpai lol) is still childhood friends w/ 'Osana’, who I renamed Ami(i4got her last name i had 4 her). However, neither of them have romantic feelings for one another, considering Akihiko is only attracted to males, and Ami is only attracted to females(theyre gay.). Akihiko actually meets Ayano when she is about to commit suicide, when he saves her. Ami is there with him, so they both save her. Aside from slight backstory related stuff, Akihiko is actually rather popular. People like him for an actual personality this time!! He’s very kind and puts others needs before his, which is rather dangerous. Ami has lectured him on this many times. Akihiko’s also known for having really good grades and being very helpful when it comes to tutoring others. He meets Ichirou (yandere-kun i literally just looked up anothr name his name means first son bc hes the first son btw lolol) eventually when Ayano invites him over. (sry this is everywhere btw i should have put this in2 a specific order) ngl i feel like this is enough on akihiko like if u wanna kno more abt him hmu on my main christopherpierre-official

Ami (Previously known as Osana): god shes so fucking gay like as soon as she met ayano she fuckign DIED bc she loves her so much???she thinks ayano is like. the prettiest fuckgin girl ever. holy fuckshit shes GAY AND WILL DEFEND AYANO WOTH HER LIFE!!!! Anyways. Ami comes from a dangerously abusive household, and as a result, took a lot of self defense classes when she ran away at age 13. (what year is tht in japan pls help) She still retains some of her 'tsundere’ personality, but she’s more thoughtful of others feelings. She met Ayano as she was about to throw herself into highly active traffic, but she and Akihiko were able to stop her before she could hurt herself. As soon as Ami and Akihiko were able to calm Ayano down, they called an ambulance/contacted the hospital, considering she had a lot of bruises and cuts. They would later find out Ayano’s father was extremely abusive, and the mother was unable to do anything because she was away on a trip for work. A lot of people know Ami for how assertive she can be, misinterpreting her mostly good intentions as aggressive. Ami is mostly known for her knowledge on medical related things, but she still has a slightly bad reputation because of how rude she comes off as. again thts enougb on ami if u wanna kno more just ask me!!

Ayano: still keeps the name bc I Like It?? its pretty fuck u. Ayano has none of her yandere personality. She’s fuckign AFRAID of everything bc of her SHIT ASS ABUSIVE DAD!! Her mom’s still kinda yandere tho, but she didnt kidnal the dad or anything. Their marriage is founded off of Pure And Honest Love…….until the mom kills the dad 4 being a homphobic shit bitch lol. Ayano actually has a lot of self harm scars. She barely gets to see her older brother, Ichirou, who is two years older than her, because he’s away or some shit idk he gets abused p badly too tho. Ayano is rly reserved & quiet & im debating on giving her bpd but its Iffy idk. she has ptsd & kinda sorta got raped by some Fucker in middle school (ichirou took care of the fucker (: hes dead.) so she has a lot of trauma going on here!! I kinda sorta projected some emotional trauma of mine onto Ayano;;; Obviously when Ami found out she was fuxking enraged. Ayano can’t afford to move out of her house just yet, and her brother can’t necessarily take her in, nor does he have her contact info. He kinda sorta left thr country for a bit?? Not sure what country I want this to take place in yet. However, Ichirou is fairly powerless against his father as well, so he took a lot of the beatings, (even tho this boy is fucking Strong as Hell like GOD FUCKIN DAMN!!! he can lift his own mom w/o an issue!! but he kinda left like right away as soon as he could & couldnt take ayano i mean she was still in high school & he Obviously has guilt over not taking her w/ him) but not as many as Ayano, seeing as to how she was the fathers least favourite. Her mother never married the father, and she didn’t want the children to inherit his last name either. …..anyways this is enough i thimk

Ichirou (Previously Yandere-kun): Gay. Loves Akihiko. Retains the yandere personality, but it’s not as bad??? He left the [insert surname household here fuck aishi its not even a Real japanese surname] household as soon as possible, and had immediate regrets. Loves his darling little sister with all of his heart, but it’s literally not incestuous. It’s just good sibling love………also he likes 2 embarass ayano a lot lol. As soon as he met Akihiko, who I never mentioned to have pastel pink hair, he fell in love like, right away? Even though I personally don’t believe in love at first sight (that’s a lie I fell in love w/ most of my anime bf’s @ first sight i can shut the Fuck Off) Ichirou was just??immediately enchanted by this beautiful prince…….he’s just that gay. He’s 2 whole singular years older than Ayano. actually not 2 whole years but w/e hes a scorpio tho. Ichirou has definitely been in relationships w/ other men b4 but they didn’t work out too well. Some rando called him 'daddy’ once and wanted to fucking Die he has shit experiences with his dad & hates the daddy kink so much. He also has ptsd. Doesn’t know how to deal with his emotions at all so he just bottles them up and lets them out all at once and it’s a mess. Also has self harm scars, and some scars from his father trying to Literally Kill Him. This boy……strong as fuck. Can lift his own mom. Has held Ami, Ayano, and Akihiko all at once. Somehow. He’s just a really good older brother? But he’s also really sneaky. While he is jealous of the time Ami & Ayano spend with Akihiko (the A squad lol i just realized their names all start w/ the letter a) he does respect that they’re really close friends, and nothing more. He’s also aware of the unsaid feelings between Ayano and Ami (vry perceptive) so he doesn’t care lol. However, he has little to no tolerance of anyone else being around him. He has a slight distaste for Akihiko’s twin, Kazuhiko (the name means harmonious prince i got a Theme goin on here) but he disregards the feelings. wow talk abt an Info Dump okay next 1

Kazuhiko (Previously the 'genderbent’ little sister/brother, made him into Akihiko’s twin brother): He’s actually a yandere too?? But not 4 Akihiko. He’s vry supportive of Akihiko tho. When he & his twin were in middle school, he gave his uniform to his brother bc he still got the sailor uniform, so he took it. There were some troubles but hey I don’t know how this shit is dealt w/ so please. Just accept this brother supporting his gay trans twin……pls….. He enjoys Ayano’s company. She reminds him of his gf/d8m8, the 'genderbent’ version of “”“"senpai”“”“ (theyre cousins but nobody knows yet so thats why) so he introduces them and they hit it off pretty well! Kazuhiko get Jealous™ and nearly exposes his yandere personality but his Lovely Beautiful Nonbinary Girlfriend reassures him tht they only love him. He loves Yuuka (their full name is yuuka minako) so much?? He would kill 4 them. Literally. He almost has. & b4 i accidentally make a cishet character bc i Refuse 2 4 some???odd reason idk, kazuhiko is a Bisexual Demiboy who fell in love w/ a nonbinary who is okay w/ feminine aligned things. Back on track, Kazuhiko is fairly popular w/ a lot of people for many reasons, and oh wow what a Fucking Cliche ppl r strongly sexually attracted to him!!coolio. he looks nothing like koumis fuckass potato lookin little brother btw. But a lot of people hate the fact that he’s in a Very Committed Relationship w/ Yuuka bc shes not that pretty damn!! But she is. She’s so fucking pretty. To him, at least. He basically fucking worships Yuuka. this is A Lot next character lol

Yuuka (Previously 'Senpai-chan’ or w/e lol): Nonbinary who’s fine w/ she/her pronouns, but also uses they/them. Very shy, Ayano & Ichirou’s cousin. Has a younger sister, and two older siblings who are twins. The younger sister is the old concept for the original little sister, and the older siblings are nemesis-chan & 'nemesis-kun’. While Yuuka and their siblings have lived a fairly abusive life, they haven’t sustained as much 'damage’ as Ayano’s family. Yuuka & Ayano are related by their mothers. They are sisters, only a year and an undetermined amount of months apart. This means after Ryoba, Ayano’s mother, or Sakurako, Yuuka’s mother, moved away, they lost contact with one another, never bothering to talk again. Yuuka and Ayano get along exceptionally well, and Hanako (u remember the little sister well her name stays the same bc its meaning is just flower child. also her design changes.) often refers to Ayano as an elder sister. Yuuka’s relationship with her little sister is somewhat strained due to the three year age gap, but they still get along regardless. Their relationship is strained because Yuuka promises to spend more time with their younger sister, but there’s not much time due to an overwhelming amount of schoolwork, as well as their job taking up a lot of time, too. Regardless, Yuuka doesn’t forget to call their darling little sister as often as she can, checking up on her and how well she’s doing in school. next 1!!!! also i4got 2 talk abt their relationship w/ kazuhiko here bc i was rly focused on mentioning family stuff…..oops (also 4got 2 mention mental health stuff??but like. yuuka has adhd, depression, anxiety, u can just ask me if u wanna know more tbh)

Hanako: i kept the name bc it just literally means flower child & honestly shes such a flowery child??anyways. Hanako retains little to none of her annoying rip-off-nico personality. Instead, she has set up a calm, shy exterior as a defense mechanism due to the many years of neglect she received from her father. (me @ myself y r all the dad characters fuxking Dicks in this like??okay damn.) On top of that, growing up, her mother was never around, due to the fact that she was in the hospital to a terminal illness. Instead, she had to rely on Yuuka for attention, since the twins, Tomoko (sister) and Kiyoshi (brother) left before she graduated her first year in middle school. Hanako also has difficulties with her schoolwork because she, much like her sister, has ADHD. Due to this, she struggles to keep up with the class, and has a hard time paying attention to almost anything that doesn’t interest her enough. However, she has many supports, helping her as much as possible in many ways, which does make her feel better about herself. After her mother had made a full recovery and left the hospital in her current year, she has felt much better about herself, and her grades have definitely improved. Although her father did leave her a while back when she found out he was having an affair on her mom, she still managed fairly well on her own. i mean cmon its not like she liked her dad tht much lol he was a Big Fucking Asswipe hanako isnt as fleshed out as i wished her 2 b but shes not That signigicant to the main story??idk. like shes still in highschool & shes only 17 & this takes place in college so??i dunno. i mean if u got suggestions or smth..sure

Tomoko (Previously Nemesis-chan, made her one of the older siblings bc idk y not lol: There’s not much to say about her. She’s 28, which is only 11 years apart from Hanako. She was entirely capable of filling in the missing mother role for her and Yuuka, but she herself didn’t know what to do. On top of that, she was more focused on getting the best grades out of the entire class, and was much better at academics than her brother. Tomoko has a very cold exterior. She is hard to connect with, and pays little to no attention to anyone elses feelings than her own. This mainly stems from the fact that her father, who she doesn’t even consider a blood related relative, was too busy messing around with other women. buddy i dont know what else 2 write 4 tomoko like she just has severe apathy issues & just doesnt know how 2 connect w/ others. next character

Kiyoshi (Previously Koumi’s shit ass 'genderbend’ Nemesis-chan): Unlike Tomoko, he was able to fill in the father-like role for Yuuka and Hanako. Due to having to take on the role of the father, it put a large strain on his academics and work outside of school. He, at one point, almost had to drop out to take care of his younger siblings, but decided against it. He eventually decided to teach Yuuka how to do her own laundry and how to cook when she was only 9. Due to this, Yuuka was able to take care of herself and Hanako while Kiyoshi could work and pay their bills. Kiyoshi was only 23 when he left the household so he could go to college and get a degree, leaving Yuuka at age 15, and Hanako at age 12. he could b more fleshed out but im??i dunno. im Panicking okay do u think i can work on a character tht doesnt rly show up in the story a lot.

anyways im just putting all of These Guys in 1 this 4 now bc this is A Lot as it is. ill do more later also give me criticism on these pls

--

I really like what you’ve done with the characters (especially now that they have personalities and stories behind them, instead of just nothing). Also, the names you gave them were cute.

-Mod Sega