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#like it got better! but it wasn't suddenly perfect
soberpluto · 2 days
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Examining Neptune's Spell
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Apologies for not being here after so much time, but now I'm back and very thrilled to share this with you all! I'm hopeful many can find this helpful.
Unnecesary context aside, just recently I was having a long and deep conversation with a friend of mine about my semi-recurring mini existential crises. After hearing me patiently, with the dear intention of making me realize I was drowning in my tiny glass of water, he simply (and brilliantly) replied:
"I think you're problem is that you have unrealistic expectations about yourself."
Any attempt to blurt out in self-defense ceased instantly because of how deep these words sunk in my mind. I stared into the wall before for me and felt how the missing puzzle piece finally dropped into the perfect spot. Obviously, the thought of having my sun in Cancer and Neptune in almost exact opposition popped inside, and it took a WHOLE new dimmension. How could this statement not be true?! OF COURSE he was right! It's not that I wasn't told that before or haven't read about it multiple times in my astrology studies, but the truth is, (a very Neptunian thing now that I think about it) I didn't believe it quite applied to me. Because I don't like to feel mediocre and because I think of myself as a spiritual and highly self-aware woman, I was convinced that holding myself to "unrealistic standards" was definitely NOT the reason that triggered me to want fleed to a desert islands at times when reality felt like too much. It was bitterly humorous when I realized I evidently missed the fact that Neptune was making a hell of a job doing what he does best: casting its spells of illusion and glittery distorted beliefs about how things were "supposed to be" in a surprisingly unadverted way into my life. I was truly relieved to actually understand (or accept, better said) why trying to have a simple and happy life seemed too tricky at times. It all made sense.
Now, let me introduce Neptune, if you happen to be unacquainted.
Neptune in astrology is like the ultimate dream weaver, spinning a web of intuition, imagination, and mystery. It’s the planet of all things ethereal, where reality gets a little blurry, and you’re invited to dive into the deep end of fantasy, spirituality, and idealism. Neptune whispers, "What if?" and suddenly, we're seeing the world through a kaleidoscope of possibilities, but a "little" foggy on the details. We're all influenced by Neptune one way or another, but when it touches personal planets or points in our charts, it’s like life hands us a pair of customized rose-colored glasses, but the prescription is way off. Suddenly, everything feels a bit magical, like we're starring in your own fairytale, except the castle is made of mist, the prince might just be a mirage, and that enchanted forest? It’s actually a parking lot.
But why bother making us feel loony? On a more serious note, our master illusionist possesses the higher purpose of awakening our connection to something greater than the everyday grind. It gently pulls us out of the rigid boundaries of reality and whispers, "There’s more to life than meets the eye." It invites us to explore the depths of our imagination, spirituality, and compassion, blurring the lines between self and universe. The illusions it creates are really a nudge to dissolve our ego’s grip, helping us see beyond the material and embrace a higher sense of love, creativity, and unity with the cosmos.
As inspiring and touching as it sounds, the catch is that fulfilling Neptune’s mission can feel like chasing fog—just when we think we’ve got a handle on it, it slips through our fingers. Neptune wants us to transcend reality and connect with the divine, but let’s be real: that’s not exactly a day-to-day, grocery-list-friendly goal. For someone with heavy Neptune influence, this pursuit of higher meaning can be disorienting, leaving them feeling lost in a sea of "what ifs" and "maybes." And thanks to its grandeur idealism, it can push people to be hypersensitive, highly fearful of failure and completely inaccurate with what they may achieve in a day, let alone a lifetime!
For a Neptunian, the intuitive desire to be flawless and sufficient does not come from wordly expectations, but from a place of soulful calling that more often unconsciously than consciously tells them they're limitless beings living in a limited reality. And this is exactly the greatest challenge of all: to accept that the truth must be known while respecting the illusion, just as a spiritual teacher Michael Mirdad states.
That said, you can imagine what happens when mystical and whimsical Neptune gets cozy with your personal planets. Let's see in detail how it sprinkles its glitter them:
Sun
Soft Aspects: With soft aspects, your Sun is shining brighter than ever! Neptune sprinkles fairy dust on your creativity and confidence, making you feel like a superstar in your own musical. It’s all about embracing your spiritual side and believing that you can conquer the world—cape optional!
Hard Aspects: You’re the artist of your own identity, but the canvas keeps shifting. One day you’re an astronaut, the next day you’re a poet, and by the end of the week, you’re contemplating becoming a full-time mystic. Neptune tells you, "Be everything," but sometimes that just leaves you wondering, "Who am I, really?"
Moon
Soft Aspects: Your emotions flow like a gentle river, and you’re tuned in to everyone’s feelings like a super empath (you could be a cool wizard/witch or clairvoyant!). Neptune wraps you in a cozy blanket of intuition, making heartfelt connections feel like a warm hug from the universe. Cue the happy tears!
Hard Aspects: Enter the emotional whirlpool! Neptune can stir up your feelings like a cosmic blender, leading to mood swings and a general sense of overwhelm. You might find yourself daydreaming your way through real-life emotions, and good luck figuring out what you actually feel!
Mercury
Soft Aspects: With Neptune’s gentle nudge, your thoughts become a beautiful symphony! Communication flows like honey, and you’re bursting with creative ideas. It’s a fantastic time for writing, brainstorming, or chatting about all things magical and dreamy! You could be a music lover, a great singer or a romantic poet.
Hard Aspects: But when Neptune goes rogue, it’s like trying to read a recipe in a funhouse—everything’s upside down! Your thoughts get scattered, and communication feels like a game of telephone gone wrong. Get ready for misunderstandings and the occasional “Wait, what did you just say?” This aspect looks very similar to a Piscean or Sagittarian Mercury, a common link to ADHD.
Venus
Soft Aspects: Love is in the air! Neptune turns your romantic life into a whimsical fairy tale, where everything feels enchanting. Your heart opens wide, and connections deepen, making even the smallest moments feel like a scene from a rom-com.
Hard Aspects: But hold on! Neptune might have you wearing those rose-colored glasses a bit too tightly. You might find yourself idealizing partners or being swept away by fantasies, only to crash back to reality when things don’t match your dreamy expectations. Ouch!
Mars
Soft Aspects: With Neptune in your corner, your drive becomes a creative spark! You’re ready to take action with a burst of inspiration, making you feel like a superhero on a mission. Time to tackle those goals with flair and imagination!
Hard Aspects: When Neptune throws in a twist, it’s like trying to run through quicksand. Your motivation might wane, leaving you confused about where to focus your energy. It’s a cosmic case of “I had a plan… what was it again?”
To wrap it up after such long post, living with Neptune’s influence means you’ve got a backstage pass to the land of dreams, creativity, and big feelings. But it also means you might find yourself getting tangled up in illusions, setting sky-high standards that real life simply can’t meet. So when Neptune touches your personal planets, just remember: it's okay to dream big, but keep a little reality check in your back pocket. You can chase those rainbows, but don’t forget to pack an umbrella for when they dissolve into rain.
Thanks so much for reading, love you! 🥰
Written by @soberpluto
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"Mr Jackson how did you get the funding for this impressive facility?"
"My wife is famous :)"
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perlelune · 8 months
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NDA | Coriolanus Snow
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When you get hired as a nanny for President Snow and his wife's firstborn, you’re beyond thrilled and grateful. But quickly, the perfect facade melts, revealing the ugly truth of what actually goes on in the Snows' house.
Warnings: NON-CON, Capitol! Reader, Innocent Reader, Cheating, Coercion, Blackmail, Power Imbalance
This is a dark story. Heed warnings before reading under the cut.
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Your worried eyes track the frenzied glide of the woman’s quill over the notepad. You squint, hoping to discern some of the words she’s scrawling that way, but they are indiscernible…just like the stone-cold expression of the bespectacled woman on the other side of the desk.
She catches you trying to peek. Your heart jumps.
As her sharp green gaze zeroes in on you, you clear your throat and shift in your seat.
She puts her quill down and twines her fingers.
“So what do you think sets you apart  from the other applicants?”
You chew on your lip. When you arrived to offer your candidature this morning, you naively believed you’d be early. Instead, you were forced to join the tail end of the massive waiting line stretching far outside the Snows’ estate. It didn’t hit you before that moment, how prized the position is. Each of the women and girls you saw radiated excellent breeding and impeccable manners. Many probably attended the University and could double as a tutor if the need presents itself.
This isn’t your case. Your parents left you and your brother Laertes with nothing when they suddenly passed away in a rebel bombing. You couldn’t blame them. This wasn't the plan. Who plans on dying and leaving their two children to fend for themselves?
Still, you now have a list of bills the length of your arm coupled with a massive mortgage to pay every month. And as Laertes’ sole caretaker, you must ensure you can afford to send him to University once he completes his education in the Academy.
Circumstances denied you that chance. Despite being of university’s age, you couldn’t afford the cost of tuition and had to drop out as soon as you got accepted. You want better for your little brother.
So as soon as you heard the news that President Snow and First Lady Livia Cardew were in search of a nanny for their son Martius, you jumped on the opportunity to apply. You rose before the sun, rummaged through your mother’s closet to find her best dress, and hailed a car to come here.
It’s a long shot, of course. You’re not as polished and impressive as some of the other women. You’re also noticeably younger. But the wages promised alone compelled you to take a chance despite the odds being unfavorable.
Fiddling with your hands, you meet the woman’s impassive stare head-on.
“What sets me apart?” You mull over your answer. You could paint a false, august portrait of yourself, your skills and your accomplishments. Or try to at least.
But what would be the point of pretending to be someone you’re not only to be found out later on? So you elect to tread the path of honesty.
“Nothing,” you say. “But I’m a hard worker. A very hard worker. In fact, I already have three jobs, one at a bakery, another as a clerk in an antique shop and I assist Fabricia Whatnot at her boutique sometimes.” Panic quivers inside you as the woman quickly jots something down on her notepad. You swiftly specify, “...But I’ll quit all of them if I get the position, of course.” You lick your lips as knots tie your stomach. “I can learn everything there is to learn on the spot. I love children, and…” You trail off, gaze traveling to your lap as you muse if you should reveal more. Your fists clench as you add, “I have a little brother who’s a few years older than Martius, and I’m really hoping I get this opportunity so I can give him the life he deserves.”
An unnerving quiet occupies the air. The wait is agony, your nails digging painfully into your palms. The jagged drumming of your heart bleeds inside your ears as she studies you.
Eventually, she leans back in the velvet chair, her face betraying no thought or emotion.
“You’re dismissed,” she says.
Your heart plummets to your feet. You shakily rise, dispirited as you drag your heels towards the door. You steal a glance above your shoulder. The woman’s attention has already drifted away from you as she shouts for the next applicant.
You sourly exit the office. You try to swallow your dejection as you note how many women are still waiting in line, each of them likely more qualified and experienced. It’s obvious you tanked the interview. Shoulders slumping, you take resigned steps through the elegant, palatial hallways of the Snow’s mansion. You get lost in admiring the crystal and gold chandeliers hanging from the high ceilings. There isn’t an inch of the house that doesn’t scream excessive, unattainable wealth.
You take your time soaking it in. Chances are you’ll never step foot in such a place in your lifetime ever again.
Distracted, you don’t notice the person in front of you before it’s too late. You bump straight into a hard, inflexible body. 
The sudden collision threatens your balance.
Fingers coil around your wrists as you stagger back, preventing your impending collapse onto the marbled floor.
As your attention drifts skywards, your jaw drops at who fills your vision.
“P-President Snow, my deepest apologies, s-sir,” you stammer, flames licking your cheeks.
As if you didn’t make yourself look dimwitted enough before, you now carelessly crashed into the leader of all of Panem. Just when you thought the day couldn’t possibly get worse.
You take him in. It truly is him. Shock fills you. 
 Tall and dazzling in a crisp white shirt and crimson vest that hints at his lean physique beneath the clothes, his signature blond waves slicked away from his face, he looks every bit the important figure that he is.
The flickering TV screen you own at home doesn’t do him justice.
A gentle smirk unfurls on his lips.
“It’s quite alright. I’m not made of sugar,” he jests.
“No…you’re not, your highness…majesty...I mean sir.”
Your blunder expands his smile. His cerulean gaze drags over your frame.
“Are you here for the nursemaid position?”
“I am, sir.” You unleash a deep exhale, his inquiry tossing salt on the fresh wound. The interviewer clearly wasn’t impressed by your less than stellar performance. Maybe you should have tried to mimic the way the girls with whom you attended the Academy behave more. They carry themselves with such confidence, wading through the world with the certainty of their destinies being secure, bereft of hardships unlike district dwellers.
You envy how carefree they get to be. Everyday you wake up worried you’ll come up short on a bill and you and Laertes will be forced to leave your family home. No matter how diligent you are at work, there never seems to be enough money to sustain the two of you. Even with three jobs, you’re barely eking out a decent living for you and your little brother. Many times, you’ve gone to bed hungry just so Laertes would not.
You don’t even realize tears have filled your eyes to the brim until a handkerchief is daintily pressed into your cheeks.
Flabbergasted, you blink up at President Snow. 
“Thank you,” you exhale, stunned by his kind gesture.
“What’s the matter?” he asks.
You search his eyes. Genuine interest lights up his pellucid blue orbs.
Without much thought, you confess, “I just don’t think I did very well with my interview.”
As he scrutinizes you in silence, cocking his head sideways, embarrassment rushes through you.
Words anxiously leave your lips in a tremulous string.
“God, I’m so sorry, spilling my problems to you as if you’re not an extremely busy man, sir.”
He shakes his head. “It’s quite alright. And do not count yourself defeated, sweetheart.” Your pulse stutters when he bends over you to whisper, “You may have left a stronger impression than you think.”
He nudges the pocket square between your hands. It’s still damp with your tears. You gape at it in awe. President Snow’s initials are elegantly etched in the left corner of the fabric.
“Here. Keep it. Though I’d much prefer it if you didn’t cry.” He pauses, studying you. “Girls as lovely as you never should.”
His words send your heart into a frenzy. For a while, you’re too stunned to move. You then shake yourself back to reality, noticing you’re now staring at the empty space where he used to stand. He’s gone. You look ahead. He’s already miles away from you, wrapped in conversation with who seems to be an assistant of his. 
Your thumbs press against the soft fabric of the pocket square. Cheeks ablaze, you hold it to your nose. It smells like roses, the same delicate scent that wafted from him a few minutes ago. Your back prickles. You pivot and are astonished to find the envious glares of some of the applicants still waiting in line zeroed in on you. Self-conscious, you rush to continue your exit, fleeing away from the hateful stares. 
As the outside gates come into sight, you can’t suppress an elated smile. It’s not everyday someone meets President Snow and receives such a gift from him. Shoving the handkerchief in your pocket, you vow to place it somewhere safe and always cherish it. 
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When you return home, your brother’s already sitting in the living room, his tiny brows scrunched in concentration and his nose buried in his books. Your stomach sinks. Everything you did today was for him. You can’t help but feel you missed out on a huge opportunity, one that’d have changed the course of his life forever. You glance around at the apartment. The walls are crumbling. The wooden floors are creaking. The pipes in the kitchen have been leaking for weeks, a measly bucket you must empty every morning the only thing preventing a flood. And at night, the pitter-patter of rodents’ paws resonates from the ceiling.
Every inch of your family home is in dire need of repairs.
Unfortunately, every penny you earn goes into rent and food, meaning the house falls apart a bit more everyday. Perhaps one day, you and Laertes will awake beneath the rubble of what’s left of your childhood home. Nightmares of that sometimes keep you up at night.
“How was the Academy today?” you chime, rummaging through the kitchen cabinets. Worry twists your chest. There isn’t much left. You’ll need to make do with cabbage and whatever other veggies are left. Perhaps you could toss in some leftover dried meat and make a stew.
“My teacher signed me up for advanced trigonometry,” your brother announces.
You close the cabinet and beam at him.
“Oh, that sounds hard. I’m proud of you.” It doesn’t exactly surprise you. Laertes’ always been exceptionally smart. Even his teachers noticed how gifted he is from an early age. Unlike you, he breezed through middle school and now the Academy.
It’s why it’s crucial you make sure he can go to the University. A mind like his shouldn’t be wasted.
You brother shrugs, exuding nonchalance.
“It’s fine.”
You rush to him. You wrap your arm around him playfully and hug him in his chair, pulling his cheek like when he was little. You know he hates when you do that but you can’t help teasing him a bit. It’s your duty as a big sister after all.
“Don’t downplay it. My little brother’s a genius.”
He wriggles his way out of the hug, rolling his eyes. 
“Stop it.”
You head back to the kitchen and fire the stove.
“I’ll make you something,” you say, smiling at your brother.
His brows knit. “Make something for yourself first.”
You nibble your bottom lip. You truly hoped he wouldn’t notice, how much smaller than his your portions are. But he’s growing; he needs it. Much more than you. Besides, how can he focus at the Academy and be the brilliant boy he is supposed to be with a growling stomach? You won’t allow it.
“Laertes…”
He shakes his head, his expression firm.
“No. You always do this. This time, we split whatever is left.”
Heaving out a resigned exhale, you nod. You whirl to resume preparing dinner.
You gather a boiling pot from the overhead cabinet and place it on the stove. With the ease of practice, you begin chopping vegetables and tossing them into the pot. You add spices and water. The mouthwatering aroma quickly fills the kitchen. Pride swells in your chest. Your cooking skills have improved so much in the last year since your parents passed. You now manage to bring flavor to the blandest of meals. 
Once the stew’s ready, you pour a portion in each bowl, putting just a little more in your brother’s and praying he will not notice.
You place the steaming bowls on the table and take a seat opposite him.
“No books at the dining table,” you admonish, mimicking the exact tone your mother used with your brother. Admitting defeat, Laertes sighs and sets his homework aside. The tiny victory tugs your lips skyward.
He tells you about his day at the Academy while the two of you eat. You’re delighted to hear he’s making a lot of friends and he’s at the top of his class for most science subjects. He’s struggling a bit more with his poetry and ethics classes, but you encourage him by reminding him he can just ask the teacher for extra assignments to keep his grade up.
“I interviewed for a new job today,” you reveal, stirring the spoon in your bowl while waiting for your brother to eat more of his food.
“How did it go?”
“Well, it pays really well so I’m hopeful.”
The hope dancing in his eyes makes your chest ache. You don’t have the heart to tell him you made a fool of yourself today. You may not be gifted like your brother, but you want him to know he can rely on you at least.
Pursing his mouth, he looks down at his stew.
“That’s great. It’d be good if you didn’t have to work as much.”
Your smile falters. “Don’t worry. I have everything under control.”
“Okay.”
His dour tone stirs your concern. You wish you were better at hiding things from him, making his childhood as normal as possible. But your brother’s twelve now, and that’s old enough to sense when things are wrong.
He rises from his seat. You frown as you note there’s still food left in his bowl.
“Finish your plate before going to your room.”
Annoyance pinches his features but he still picks up his bowl and hastily guzzles down the remainder of his stew.
“Happy now?” he says, wiping his mouth.
“Yes. Very,” you cheerfully respond.
He gathers his books and strides towards his room. 
Your voice rises.
“Don’t stay up too late to study, okay? I love you.”
“I…love you too,” he mumbles.
You bask in the moment as you clean the table. Thankfully Laertes is still at an age where he says it back. One day he might not. So you must cherish every instant. Every conversation, every hug, every ‘I love you’. Because it could all vanish in a second. You learned that the hard way a year ago.
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The day of the interview recedes to the back of your mind as you keep living your life. Work is harrowing, as usual, but you tend to your tasks as best as you can. Your arms ache as you knead the dough in the back of the bakery. You give yourself a second to wipe the sweat off your forehead. It’s been a hectic afternoon. There’s a massive pastry order for some Capitol heiress’ birthday due tomorrow. So you’ve been racing between the front desk and the kitchen in the back. A baker called in sick today, leaving you with twice the workload.
You know it won’t take much to crash into your bed and fall asleep tonight.
To make matters worse, the day hits its nadir when you get your pay that day. You peer inside the envelope for the umpteenth time. An anxious chuckle peals out of your lips. 
“I’m sorry I don’t want to complain, but…this doesn’t match the hours I put in.”
The owner scratches the back of his neck, a contrite expression etched on his face.
“I’m sorry too. With the new taxes imposed by the Capitol, I had to cut your salary.”
Slack-jawed by the news, no word leaves your mouth as you stare at him. He sighs.
“If it’s a problem, we can find someone else-”
“No, no,” you interrupt, blinking in panic. “Please, I need this job.”
He acquiesces and you’re forced to thank him despite feeling cheated. You actually scaled back your hours for your other part-times since this one paid more. What a waste. 
Dispirited, you return home. As you give the driver a bill for the fare, your insides wrench. Every bill counts. Perhaps you’ll need to walk back home from now on. The streets of the Capitol are notoriously dangerous but you can’t see any other way to save your dwindling wages. You already know you’ll need to request an extension for rent this month. How will you pay it, however?
You suppose you’ll have to figure it out. You always figure it out.
These are the somber thoughts swaying in your mind as you check the mailbox. 
Bills. Bills. And more bills. Your already sour mood plummets even more. But a slim, silver envelope sticking out from the pile corrals your focus. Curiosity surges inside you. It looks fancy and there’s a wax seal with the Capitol’s symbol keeping it shut. You rush to open it, heart fluttering in strange anticipation.
You unfold the neatly folded letter inside. As you read the words, you gasp, dropping the letter. Still trembling from shock and excitement, you bend to pick it up. 
You take a deep slow breath before reading it again. 
This time, a squeal escapes from your lips. 
You read it many more times to make sure your eyes aren’t just conjuring wild fantasies. 
After a while, you realize they aren’t. It’s true. 
Holding the letter to your chest, you toss yourself on your bed and kick your feet excitedly. 
You then place your palm on your forehead. In disbelief, you beam at the ceiling. 
Somehow…you’ve been hired to work for the Snows. You actually got the job. 
Perhaps there is light at the end of the tunnel.
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You fidget before the iron gates, smoothing absent wrinkles on your skirt. It’s one of the best outfits you could find on short notice that wasn’t moth-eaten or visibly overworn. You pray it’s enough. You let your gaze wander. The Snows’ estate truly is majestic. The lush gardens. The beautiful architecture. You feel a little small as you admire the mansion.
Remembering yourself, you pivot to the man who drove you there. You fish inside your pocket for a bill and hand it to him. He stares at you blankly from the driver’s seat.
A weary sigh ripples behind you.
You turn, your eyes widening. It’s the woman who interviewed you that day. She wears the same stern expression.
“You don’t need to pay him,” she explains, dismissing the man with her hand. He nods and drives away. “He’s your assigned driver. He’ll pick you up each day and take you back home.”
“Oh.” You offer your hand. “Nice to meet you…again.”
She gives you a lengthy onceover, completely ignoring your gesture. Then she motions at you to follow her. You let your hand fall to your side. Heat blooms in your cheeks. Perhaps, you were too enthusiastic just then. Straightening your spine, you try your best to keep pace with her quick strides.
“I’m Pandora. I supervise most housekeeping duties for the president. I’ll show you around the estate. Then you’ll meet the young Master.”
She gives you a tour of the mansion. You’re even more amazed than last time though you try to suppress your awe and not stare excessively. She shows you the garden as well. The sea of snow-white roses makes your head spin. She specifies that the only part of the house that is off-limits is the west wing of the mansion, as these are the First Lady’s apartments and she must have rest and quiet.
She ends the visit by taking you to the nursery. A smile spontaneously finds its way onto your lips. A toddler plays with his toy train on the floor. With his blonde curls and bright blue eyes, he bears a striking resemblance to his father.
“That’s him? He’s so cute,” you whisper. Even the stern woman’s expression thaws a little as she looks at the child, softening ever-so-slightly. You send her a questioning glance. She gives you a nod of approval. 
You approach the boy and crouch in front of him.
“Hi. You’re Martius, right?”
He lifts his head and beams at you. You’re immediately endeared. Again, his smile reminds you of President Snow. You suppose one could probably take over the world with a smile like that. 
You turn to Pandora.
“Is his mother around? I should probably introduce myself.”
Her face pinches. “Mistress Livia has been unwell as of late. She is not to be disturbed today as she is quite tired.”
“Of course.” Your lips squeeze shut for a few seconds but curiosity gets the better of you. A question burns on your lips, one that nagged you ever since you got the job. It slips out before you can think it through. “Is this…Is this why the president and his wife require a nanny? The First Lady is sick?”
Pandora glowers at you. You flinch as she steps further inside the room, her searing tone like a whip.
“You are here to do your job, and nothing else. Mistress Livia’s health is no concern of yours. Do you hear me?”
You rise on shaky feet. You forgot yourself.
“I-I understand. I’m sorry I asked.”
“This reminds me. You have to sign this,” she says, handing you a pen and clipboard. A thin stack of papers are attached to the clipboard. The front page spells ‘Non-Disclosure Agreement’ in bold letters at the very top. You scowl as you flip through the pages.
“What’s that?”
“It’s a contract, one signed by every one of the President’s employees.”
“I don’t understand most of what’s written here…”
A frustrated exhale peals from her lips.
“I’ll make it simple for you then. For the duration of your employment here, nothing you see or hear must ever leave this house. You are here to care for the young master, that is all. Nothing else should concern you. Is that clear enough?”
You swallow thickly. It doesn’t sound hard at all. Discretion is essential in every job, isn’t it? But the way Pandora makes it sound, you’d assume there are bodies buried beneath the Snows’ estate. You’d laugh if her death stare weren’t so disquieting.
You peruse the contract, perplexed by most of the legal mumbo jumbo filling the pages. None of it rings any bell. You understand the gist of it however. You must preserve the president and his wife’s privacy. While you don’t know the specifics of the first lady’s condition, her public appearances have been few and far between in the last few years.
She used to be the envy of every woman in the Capitol. Beautiful, young and married to the dashing President Snow.
She was a fairytale princess come to life.
Then their son Martius was born. And when they held him up from the balcony of their mansion for all of Panem to gaze upon, they truly seemed like the perfect family.
Until one day, Livia Cardew simply…vanished.
She was noticeably absent from all the events of the season, some she even hosted herself. Tongues wagged of course, rumors and wild theories spreading like wildfire. 
But no one knew the truth of what had happened to her.
The matter seems delicate. You promise yourself not to bring it up again.
You click the pen and scribble your name at the bottom of the very last page.
“I’ve…never signed a contract like that before starting a job.”
Pandora lets out a wry chuckle.
“Well, you’ve never worked for President Snow.”
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As promised, you quit your two other jobs to focus solely on Martius. You’re hesitant at first. Your departed parents taught you never to put all your eggs in one basket. And it’s exactly what you’d be doing by trusting the Snows. But when you receive your first paycheck, long before the end of the week, every qualm you had fades. It’s more money than you’ve ever had, more money than you expected. Rent isn’t an issue anymore. Neither is food.
Besides, gifts keep coming from the estate. Clothes mostly, for both you and Laertes, but also jewelry, perfume and other fancy things you don’t need. Overwhelmed by President Snow’s generosity, you try to send some of it back, but you don’t have the heart to return everything when you see your brother’s happy face when he opens his wardrobe one day.
You’ve caught the self-conscious glimpses he casts at his classmates sometimes, when not wearing the Academy uniform. Their clothes are always brand new and custom, perfectly tailored while his are stitched back together by your clumsy hands whenever they fray at the seams. You’re not a seamstress but you’ve always done your best. But you know your best doesn’t compare to the access and privilege those kids have.
Other than those blessings, your time with Martius has been a breeze. Only hazy memories of your brother as a toddler linger in your mind, but you don’t recall him ever being as sweet and calm as the little boy is.
It hardly feels like work, caring for the small child. You spend the day playing along with his games, reading stories to him and, as the day nears its end, the two of you feed the ducks in the massive pond behind the mansion. He even gives them names and gets upset when they fight with each other. 
“Lily doesn’t like James anymore,” he whispers to you one day, a sullen pout scrunching his tiny features. 
“And why is that?”
“I think she’s angry that he steals her food.”
You chuckle and ruffle his golden locks. The little boy always has a story for everything he sees. At all times, his world must make sense. So if he cannot find a reason to explain what fills his gaze, he’ll weave a tale that matches it. His stories are each more wild than the other and he sometimes utters words you’ve never heard a four year old use.
But you surmise it is expected from the son of the president. When he isn’t with you, the little boy is often with his private tutor. Even at his tender age, the importance of manners and eloquence is impressed upon him.
Martius tugs at your skirt when you make your way to the door. You look down. His blue eyes are pleading. 
“You’re leaving again?”
You heave out a long exhale. The little boy wasn’t so clingy before but with your bond growing, he’s been expressing more sadness from watching you go at the end of every day. 
You hunker down to his level.
“My little brother’s expecting me.”
His forehead puckers. “Stay…”
“I told you before, Martius. I have a brother. He’ll miss me if I’m not here.”
“Okay,” he mumbles, giving a begrudging nod. Tears already swim in his eyes though. Panic flows through you. You didn’t want to upset him. You pick him up and bounce with him in your arms to try to soothe him.
“Oh, no. Don’t cry, sweetie.” He buries his head in the crook of your neck, nearly squeezing you to death when he wraps his arms around your neck. His loud, tearful sobs swell in the room. “Hey, it’s okay. I’ll see you tomorrow like always, okay? So I need you to be brave for me.” His grip on you loosens as he sniffles. You put him down and the two of you pinky promise that you’ll return. Your heart twists at the sight of his tear-stained little face. 
You give his hair one last affectionate pat before rushing outside. If you stay, he might throw another tantrum. No matter what, you can never get mad at Martius. He’s just a child. In the absence of his mother, he’s bound to grow attached to any woman filling a role adjacent to hers. You loathe that you’re taking those moments from the first lady. Though it pleases you to have a steady job and spend time with the sweet boy, it feels wrong that she isn’t there. She should get to see her baby grow up. She should hear his inane ramblings and eccentric stories.
As time wears on, you’re dying to meet her and tell her about Martius. Is she truly so sick that she can’t even see him for a mere few minutes? You’re itching to break the rules and visit the west wing of the mansion. Sometimes you hear blood-curdling  screams and wailing coming from the dark halls but you never dared venture through them. You know that if you did, Pandora would crucify you.
Laertes’ well-being matters more than your curiosity.
Humming absently, you halt in your tracks in the middle of a hallway. Confusion has you blinking. A peculiar noise bounces faintly against the walls. Your gaze drifts sideways, where the noise seems to come from. You’re clocking out. Whatever’s going on in the house isn’t any of your business at this hour.
But what if someone needs help? What if it’s something bad? You’d feel awful if you learnt something happened the next day and you pretended to ignore it. So you gingerly approach the wall. Your fingers graze the tapestry covering it. 
Your eyes widen when the wall moves, a tiny crack forming in it.
Your eyes bulge. It’s an ajar door, you realize. A secret door one wouldn’t notice if they weren’t aware it was there. Light spills from the slight opening.
Confining your breath, you bend over the crack in the wall to get a glimpse of what’s behind it. 
The vision crowding your sight makes the blood in your veins freeze. 
President Snow rutting into a maid with his pants down to his ankles. His usually neat blonde locks are tousled, a few damp curls kissing his forehead. His massive cock glistens with the girl’s essence, disappearing into the girl’s spread lips over and over again. Her body is bent over the railing of the bed and her maid outfit is bunched around her hips, exposing her ass, the flesh trembling with each of the president’s harsh, pointed thrust.
Each time he snaps his hips he draws a broken moan from her. One of his hands is around the back of her throat while the other’s on the small of her back. He grunts low in his throat as she clenches around him, thrusting into her even faster than before. 
The obscene sound of their coupling rises, coalescing with the feral grunts spilling from the president’s mouth. In that moment, he’s not the poised gentleman you’re used to seeing, he is an animal in rut chasing his high.
A shocked exhale escapes your lips. Your hand flies to cover your mouth. President Snow’s head snaps up, his gaze landing straight on you.
Your heart slams against your ribcage.
You jump back from the door and push the secret door closed. You dart across the hallway, determined to find the exit as quickly as you can. You don’t glance back, your steps hasty and panicked. 
Pandora was right. It’s best not not to hear or see anything, to become a tomb in which secrets are buried.
You can only hope he didn’t recognize you through the tiny crack in the door. 
Though you’re shaken to your core, you continue your work as a nanny. You still need money. You may have set aside everything you made thus far, but it will only sustain you and your brother for a month or two. Besides, you’ve already handed in your resignation for your other jobs.  The positions have likely been filled. You can’t exactly show up out of the blue and ask for your former job back. 
No. So you convince yourself that it’s alright. You have a good thing going anyway. You’re making more than you hoped. The child is happy. You’re happy. All is well. Or it would be at least.
…If you could conjure the memory of President Snow railing into the maid far away from your mind. 
You want to forget it, bury the moment so deep in the abyss of your thoughts, it can never be unearthed.
But it isn’t so easy. Because every time your mind wanders even a little, you see him again. Skin glistening with sweat and blue eyes alight with lust. The image is tattooed into your brain. 
You wonder if the first lady knows. Perhaps it’s why she’s hiding away. The weight of her husband’s indiscretions may have grown too heavy to carry. It sours your heart. President Snow seemed so kind, good and noble. He was nice to you. You still have the breast pocket he gave you tucked away in a drawer. You loathe to think he’d do that to his wife. No woman deserves this.
You lift your head when your name is uttered. You get to your feet. Adrift in your thoughts, you didn’t realize Pandora was in the nursery. 
“Yes?”
“The president wants to see you in his office.”
Dread wrenches your gut. It’s exactly what you feared. Does he know? Did he see you? Your pulse picks up. What other reason would there be? He never summoned you before.
“Really, why?”
“He didn’t say, but I’m assuming it’s to congratulate you.”
Befuddlement wrinkles your forehead. “Congratulate me?”
Pandora heaves out a weary sigh. “Well, you’ve done much better than we thought,” she begrudgingly admits. “The young master smiles all the time.” She rolls her eyes. “Even if we must deal with his tantrums when you leave.”
A sliver of pride flutters through you with her admission. Pandora made her doubts about your capabilities plain and obvious from the beginning. It gladdens you that you may have changed her mind a little. 
“I’m sorry.” 
“It’s fine.” She turns to him, the ghost of a smile playing on her lips. “It’s a small price to pay for his happiness.”
Your smile vanishes as she adds, “Now let me escort you to the president’s office. He doesn’t like to be kept waiting.”
Swallowing the lump in your throat, you trail behind her. The entire trek to the president’s office, your stomach’s in knots. You keep wondering if it’s the day you’ll lose your job for being too nosy. You should have walked past the noise. You shouldn’t have peeked. 
You inhale a lungful of nerve as Pandora opens the door to his office and frees room for you to enter. Your clammy hands wrench in your lap. He’s sitting behind his desk. You stagger further inside the room as he motions for you to sit in the chair on the other side of the desk. He looks the same as the first time you stumbled into him, disarmingly handsome in an impeccable shirt and pants that flatter his long legs.
A sharp contrast to the version of him that has plagued your thoughts lately. 
His sky gaze follows you as you take a trembling seat.
“Are you settling in well?” he asks.
“Hm, yes,” you stammer, anxiously twining your fingers. “It’s pretty much the perfect job. I get to be around a cute child all day.”
“I hear my son is very fond of you.”
You bashfully dip your head. “He’s very easy to like. He’s such a good boy, sweet, kind, and curious. You and your wife are raising him well, sir.”
He hums in thought. “I can’t take much credit for that. I’ve tried my best to carve out time for Martius…but work’s kept me busy. As for Livia...” He lets out a humorless chuckle. “Well she isn’t quite herself these days.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
He places one hand under his chin, scrutinizing you. You try not to twitch beneath his stare, your insides tight with dread.
“Hm, it’s strange,” he states after a minute that goes by like an eternity.
Your head rises. “What’s strange?”
“A girl like you.” His lips drag upward. “Sweet, nurturing, beautiful. Shouldn’t you be married already?”
Your lips part in astonishment. This isn’t the line of questioning you expected. “I-I’m not.”
“No fiancé?”
“No, sir.”
“A lover then?”
Warmth rushes to your face.
“No…”
He laughs, mirth dancing in his cobalt orbs.
“You must pardon me for being so forward but I simply find it astonishing. No suitors? It’s hard to believe since you’re so lovely, sweetheart.” He tilts his head. You shift in discomfort, his attention making you feel see-through. “I mean, a husband would have made your life easier than it’s been thus far, wouldn’t he, dove?”
A long exhale flows from your lips. “I’ve had offers, after I graduated from the Academy. There was even this boy, he was so kind to me.” The memory draws a small smile from you. “He proposed. I’m sure he’d make a great husband, but…”
“But…”
Your mouth dries.
“I know it’s probably naive and unrealistic but I want to marry for love, that great, life-changing love, like in those romance novels my mom used to love, not money or status.”
His eyes twinkle. “Or financial stability?”
Shame gathers in your chest. You know it sounds silly when uttered aloud. 
“I know, I’m an idiot.”
“No, you’re not. It’s sweet that you still believe in love.” He appears lost in a faraway memory, his gaze hazing over with remembrance. “I used to believe in it too. I used to think, ‘Who needs wealth and success and power when love conquers all?’”
He chuckles but it’s bereft of amusement. 
“Really? What happened then?”
His gaze locks with yours. 
“I grew up.”
Confused, you frown. 
“But aren’t you and the first lady in love?”
Another laugh bursts from his chest.
“God, you’re sweet.” His tone lowers to a dulcet whisper. “It’s like none of the world’s ugliness has gotten to you yet.” He reveals matter-of-factly, “My wife and I hate each other.” His smile widens at your flabbergasted expression. “Always did. It’s best that way, more…efficient. Of course, there was a time, when we had…passion.” He licks his lips, something you can’t pinpoint flickering in his gaze. “But not anymore. She’s far too gone for that.”
He rises from his chair. You stiffen as he circles the desk, making slow steps towards you. 
“Which is why I must…satiate my needs wherever I can,” he mumbles, fingers lurking under your chin, forcing your eyes to fall upon him. “Do you understand my meaning, dove?”
“I…yes.”
Discomfort flares within you. Tension hangs in the air, so heavy it clogs your airways. 
He cocks his head, lips slanting crookedly.
“Do you really? With that innocent look in your eyes, it’s hard to tell.” His thumb sweeps over your shuddering bottom lip. “Men have needs. And am I not a man, sweetheart?”
“Y-Yes you are, sir.”
He bends over you to whisper in your ear. “You saw everything that day, didn’t you?” Your heart stops.
Flames lick your face as you bow your head. “I-I didn’t see anything.”
His warm breath ghosts over your earshell.
“Liar,” he mumbles.
Your pulse quickens.
He leans back and nudges your chin upward.
“Since my wife fell sick, I’ve been very lonely. And sometimes…” He looms over you, crowding your space as you peer up at him, fingers squeezing the arms of the chair. “I need something soft and warm to forget that feeling.”
President Snow slowly falls to his knees in front of you. His fingers find your thigh, starting to creep under your skirt. A devilish glint sparkles in his cobalt gaze. He finds your center, pressing the sheer fabric into your folds. You gasp. He chuckles at your reaction. He starts teasing you through your panties, tracing your slit and dragging over your tender bud. Your breath hitches as the air around you grows hotter. You grow slick beneath his finger, your thighs shaking as tingles bloom on your flesh.
“Sir…” you whimper, tears welling up in your eyes.
He pushes further inside you, adding another finger, and you unleash an audible breath. You try to close your thighs. He places his other hand on your knee to keep you open for him.
The air in your lungs grows thinner as he rubs your core through your soaked panties. The friction is a delicious torture. Pleasure pools in your belly causing your face to burn with shame. You’re getting embarrassingly wet with President Snow’s attention.
“I just want a little taste,” he murmurs, his deep timbre bleeding lust. “Just one time and it’ll never happen again,” he promises fervently as his lips graze your ankle. You find some relief when his fingers disappear from your drenched center. But your respite is ephemeral. He slips his hands under your ass and tugs at your panties.
Panic widens your eyes. Cheeks ablaze, you pull at the material between your legs with both hands. But he’s stronger than you and effortlessly drags the fabric along your legs. A wicked smile plays on his lips as tears glisten in your eyes. It’s soon down to your ankles. You squeal when the president yanks the panties off your foot, tossing them aside. Cool air sneaks beneath your skirt, swirling over your bare folds.
Hands over your knees to keep you spread, his wolfish gaze sweeps over your glossy folds. 
Your skin heats, embarrassment gathering in your chest. You’ve never been this vulnerable and exposed in front of anybody before.
“Please, President Snow, s-stop…” 
“But you’re dripping, sweetheart,” he states smugly, sinking a finger inside your weeping core, as if to make a point. Your breath hitches. He takes his finger out sluggishly. You clench when he grazes one of your sensitive spots. “Just as sweet as I expected,” he hums, obscenely licking your essence off his long digit.
Without a warning, he buries his head between your thighs. A sharp exhale leaps from your mouth. His cool tongue traces a wet trail over your folds. President Snow traces maddening patterns over your swollen bud causing your eyes to roll back.
You card your fingers through his silken platinum locks, hoping to push his head away. But the delightful sensations grow too overwhelming. You unravel beneath his sinful ministrations, your limbs twitching as the thread of your thoughts comes loose.
Your grip on his hair weakens. Your belly tightens, your chest rising and falling rapidly. 
You jolt as his tongue flickers over your tender heap of nerves. 
“P-President…” 
He purrs against your folds and the vibrations rock through your core. You squirm in the chair. Your thighs quake. Your vision dims, your mind blank as waves of pleasure swaddle you in their tide. Protests scatter on your tongue, replaced by wanton whimpers and moans.
Electricity ripples through your spine as you cry out.
Bliss engulfs you and your legs turn liquid. Shame swirls in your gut as your juices coat his tongue. He drinks your nectar, elation rumbling in his chest. 
When he lifts his head, you hardly recognize him. The feral glow in his gaze chills your blood.
There is no time to collect yourself, realize what just occurred, as the blonde gathers your limp frame from the chair and places you on his desk. Documents and papers are flung to the ground as he grabs your thighs and presses his throbbing hard-on against your cunt. 
He hastily unbuttons his pants, freeing his hard length. He fists his cock and guides it through your wet entrance. Your back arches, the sudden intrusion robbing you of air. He reaches the hilt of you in a few seconds, giving you no time to accommodate his thick girth. You collapse over the desk, weak whimpers leaving you as your walls are stretched to their limit. He drags out of you, his pupils flaring as they trace the motion of his length in and out of you. Coriolanus leans over you. He snaps his pelvis into your hips, each of his thrusts tearing tearful moans from your throat.
When you turn your head, hot tears flowing down your cheeks, he grabs your chin so you’re forced to meet his lustful stare. Bracing himself on the desk, he reaches between your bodies to pinch your swollen clit. He plucks at your soft bud until you shatter around him with a sob. His throat bobs, a look of sheer bliss flitting across his face when you clench around him.
“I’ve been dying to fuck you the minute I saw you,” he confesses, trailing soft pecks over your collarbone. A sinister chuckle peals from his lips. “The way you looked at me with those sweet, innocent eyes…it made me rock-hard.” He tilts your chin towards him, his thumb skimming over your parted lips.
Satisfaction glimmers in his eyes as they flick over your prone form.
“You should thank me. Those boys at the Academy wouldn’t know what to do with a girl like you…” His cock twitches inside you. Sticky warmth spills from him, painting your walls and dripping past your hole. Drops of his seed leak onto the desk. A throaty sigh pours from President Snow’s throat as your cunt flutters around him.
His teeth nip the skin of your neck.
“...But I do.”
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After what occurs in his office, you hope to avoid President Snow. Those hopes are swiftly dashed however. President Snow lied to you. It doesn’t happen once. In fact, you begin to lose count of the actual number.
Every time the president finds a little spare time, he summons you.
Sometimes you end up bent over the desk in his office as he pours the frustrations of the day into your warm hole. Sometimes he prefers you sprawled on your back in one of the multitude of luxurious beds in the mansion while he devours you as if you were his very last meal. And at times, he grows even more impatient and simply shoves you against a wall before ravaging you.
More than once, a maid or footman has walked in on the two of you, and you’ve had to swallow your shame and embarrassment.
As you’ve come to learn, the entire staff is aware of Coriolanus Snow’s insatiable appetite and none of them seems to care.
You feel sick, desperate, trapped in something twisted and awful you never signed up for.
But how does one say no to President Coriolanus Snow? The entire Capitol yields to his every whim. And you are the same. Here to bow and smile and lie back whenever he demands it.
You long to focus on your job, to care for Martius and nothing else. Whenever the boy looks up at you with those innocent blue eyes, eerily similar to his father’s, your stomach wrenches. You pray he never comes to learn what kind of man his father is. You wish he’d stay just as kind and sweet as he is now.
Those are the thoughts drifting through your mind as you watch Martius play with his toy trains. Your eyes wander towards the window. Outside, orange and purple hues are bleeding into the sky, the afternoon nearing its end. Your stomach coils. It’s during times like these that President Snow often seeks you out. You’ve tried to run away from him but it’s all a game to Coriolanus, and he always delights in chasing you through the hallways.
Your brows crumple as you note that Martius has stopped playing. He drops his toy and rushes to your side. Confounded by his behavior, you’re on the cusp of asking him what’s wrong…but your gaze follows what caught his attention on the other side of the room.
You fall silent, your eyes rounding in shock.
“Martius. Come here, my love,” says the blonde woman in a white robe and nightgown, her arms wide open.
Time stands still for a few seconds. It takes you a while to realize who stands before the door. She looks so different, more ghost than woman, her glassy blue eyes hollow and sunken. But her likeness is unmistakable. Even with her graying, limp tresses and ashen complexion, you recognize Livia Cardew. The president’s wife.
You bolt to your feet. Arms still open, Livia takes slow steps towards Martius.
“I’m your mom, sweetie. Don’t you remember me?”
The little boy’s fists clutch your skirt as he hides his face against your leg.
“You’re not my mom.”
A stricken look twists Livia’s features as she shrinks. As if her own son just drove a knife through her heart. Your chest twinges. While her abrupt appearance is a shock, you can’t imagine how she must feel. You place a hand on Martius’ back and try to nudge him forward.
“Martius. It’s the First Lady, your mother. Go on, hug her,” you urge softly.
He shakes his head, tears filling his eyes as he hides behind you even more.
You’re stunned. Has it truly been that long?
“Martius-”
You don’t get to finish your sentence, Livia lunging at you, her eyes wild with fury.
“You! This is all your fault,” she hisses. She points at you and scoffs, “You’re his new whore, aren’t you?” Her mouth wobbles as she grips her head. “First you take my husband, now my son.”
Martius begins to sob. His loud cries overlap with his mother’s frantic yelling. You cover his eyes, tossing Livia an apologetic look.
“First Lady, I never meant-”
Before you can explain yourself, she grabs a nearby vase and smashes it. White roses scatter on the floor. Stomping all over the petals and broken glass, she collects one of the shards and races towards you. Terror numbs you. You freeze as Livia aims the shard at you, scarlet droplets dripping on her nightgown as she squeezes her fist around the glass.
Your eyes shut as you wait for the inevitable strike.
You shiver, waiting still.
But it doesn’t come.
“Livia, darling, that’s enough. It’s time for you to sleep and take your medicine.”
The familiar sound of Coriolanus’ voice causes your eyes to snap open. 
You watch him restrain a struggling Livia. She curses at him, fighting him with all her might. It’s a painful spectacle. 
“No, don’t touch me!” Other staff members rush into the room. It takes several people to hold Livia down, colorful expletives pouring from her mouth as she punches and kicks whoever comes close. “You’re killing me! You bastard! Give me my son back! Martius! Martius!”
The child trembles against your skirt, his tear-filled gaze stuck to the floor.
Eventually someone manages to stick a needle into Livia’s neck. She instantly goes limp, arm still reaching for her son in her last conscious second.
“Take her away,” Coriolanus instructs.
The first lady’s flaccid form is dragged out of the room. Still shaken by what you just witnessed, you don’t move a muscle. President Snow approaches you, worry swimming in his blue orbs. 
“Are you alright, dove?” He cups your cheeks, his brows crumpling as his gaze settles on your neck. “I’ll have Doctor Gaul look at you. She has an ointment for that.” He caresses your cheeks, smiling. You gape at him. How can he smile at a time like that? “It won’t even scar. I promise.”
You graze your neck. Your fingers come away bloody. Oh. Livia nicked you with the shard but you didn’t even feel it. Perhaps adrenaline numbed you to the pain.
“Dada,” Martius chimes, lifting his chubby arms.
Coriolanus’ face warms as he picks up his son. He tosses him in the air and catches him. Martius giggles through his tears.
“My sweet boy. That was very scary, wasn’t it?” he says, balancing his son on his hip. Martius nods and wipes his nose. Coriolanus flicks his cheek, beaming at him. “Don’t worry, son. The scary lady won’t bother you anymore in a few months.”
A wave of ice blows through your veins. You wonder why the president uttered those words with such certainty. Like a promise. Or a prophecy. Almost as if he knows exactly when the grim reaper will come knock on his wife’s door.
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The next day, you hand over your resignation to Pandora. Her expression is skeptical as she gauges the manila folder you give her.
“This is for the president,” you announce.
She unleashes a deep exhale. “You should reconsider, sleep on it.”
You almost laugh. Sleep on it? You can hardly find rest, the picture of a disheveled Livia Cardew crying out for her son haunting your nights. Whatever befell upon the poor woman, you wouldn’t be surprised if her husband somehow had a hand in it. It broke your heart, seeing her like that, her own son unable to recognize her. You also despise the role Coriolanus forced you to play in erasing her memory.
All of it feels wrong. 
And most of all, you don’t want President Snow to use you to satisfy his lewd desires anymore. He took all your firsts, all the moments that should have been beautiful, and made them a nightmare you have to relive every time he touches you.
You respected him; you admired him. Now you can’t be in his presence without dread whispering through you. What will he make you do this time? How will he make you small and powerless again?
“I can’t…I can’t do this anymore. He can hire someone else to care for him.”
Pandora purses her lips and shakes her head.
“It’s really not that simple. The president has developed…a fondness for you.”
You bristle. “I have to go back home. Laertes is expecting me.”
“You won’t like what comes next, trust me.” Her gaze narrows. “No one leaves the president.”
Ignoring the shudder elicited by her daunting words, you pivot and make a beeline towards the exit. Pandora’s voice echoes down the hallways.
“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
Depleted, you glumly make your way to the gates. You enter the car that takes you back home everyday. Your thoughts wander as the Snow’s house grows smaller through the car window. You were thrilled when you got this job. It felt like kismet after the year you and your brother had. A rainbow after the rain. A slice of hope.
How it all went to hell so quickly. You’re still reeling from it. You’ve no idea what you’ll do next. The only thing you know for certain is that you will not step foot into the Snows’ estate ever again.
The car suddenly halts. You bump your head into the passenger’s seat. Wincing, you grip the sides of your head. As you retrieve your senses, you look around. You stopped.
You toss a questioning look at the driver.
But before he can respond, the car door opens and you’re yanked outside. Two pairs of strong arms drag you away from the car.
You take in the blue uniforms of the men. Terror pulses through your blood.
Peacekeepers.
Noting the guns at their sides, you stop trying to resist. There’s no fighting against them, ever. They are the Capitol’s fist and carry the President’s will. You don’t stand a chance. In fact, you likely never did. You slump in their grip, despair thrumming inside you.
They escort you to a black car with tinted windows. Your pulse soars. You’ve only ever seen one individual step out of this car.
The peacekeepers toss you inside and slam the door shut.
Your fearful gaze rises to him.
He casually sits in front of you, his eyes narrowed.
“You disappoint me, dove.” He lets out a weary sigh. “After everything I’ve done for you…you try to leave me. I thought you were smarter than that.”
You twine your hands, sputtering, “I-I’m not the right person for this job, sir.”
He slides his fingers under your chin, tilting it upward.
“Oh but you’re perfect. My son loves you. You’re sweet, dutiful and most importantly…” He smirks. “You are mine. Mine to hold, spoil and fuck whenever I please for however long I please.”
The prospect fills you with dread. He wants you to be his toy again, submissive, available whenever he pleases.
“Sir…”
His jaw ticks, his hold on your jaw tightening.
“Wouldn’t it be wonderful if your brother could attend the University, free of charge? A bright young mind such as his, I believe he deserves it.” His blue eyes twinkle. “Instead of, let’s say…end up in a District, his name chosen as a tribute in the next Hunger Games.” Your heart sinks to your feet. “That’d be awful, wouldn’t it? So cruel…” he mumbles, stroking your trembling bottom lip.
“No, please,” you beseech, tears swelling in your eyes. Your brother’s all you have left in the world. Nothing can happen to him. 
Coriolanus fondles your cheek, the tender gesture a sharp contrast to the wicked words rolling off his tongue.
“It’s all up to you, then, dove. As long as you behave, I’ll give you the world. But if you act like a little brat again…” A threat lurks in his soft tone, a glint of madness swaying in his cobalt orbs. “I really don’t know what I might do.”
Chills dance over your spine.
“I promise to never do it again,” you blurt out.
He pulls out a square from his breast pocket. It’s identical to the one he used the first time.
But a lifetime seems to have passed since that moment, the world now so different from what you imagined, and the man before you…even more so.
“Good girl,” he lauds while swiping away your tears. 
He shoves the pocket square back in its place. Coriolanus then beams at you as he starts unbuttoning his shirt and undoing his pants.
“Now, I’ve had a long, exhausting day. So how about you get on your knees for me and make it better with that sweet mouth of yours, dove?”
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wispeth · 3 months
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(doppelganger Merlin au. Arthur is looking at two Merlin's, who both have all of Merlin's memories, except the imposter doesn't have magic. which is perfect, because the real Merlin lied so flawlessly to Arthur that imposter Merlin would have a real chance to take over Merlin's life. oh and, uh, Merlin was drugged w a truth serum. so he can't lie about the magic if it comes up. The imposter is able to pretend to be Merlin better than Merlin can bc ofc the magic comes up.)
Arthur: What's the first thing you ever said to me?
Imposter Merlin, confidently: Hey, that's enough. You've had your fun my friend.
Real Merlin, dazed, looking over at the imposter in horror as he realizes that the imposter has all of his memories, and that the imposter is actually capable of lying rn unlike himself, which means Real Merlin can't even keep up his own facade, but the imposter can: (says exactly the same thing in perfect unison with the imposter, but looks a lot more lost and shaken about it)
Arthur, narrowing his eyes at them both: What is your favorite tunic to dress me in?
Imposter Merlin: The red one. (It was a fair enough assumption. It was the one that Merlin picked out for Arthur to wear more than any of the others.)
Real Merlin, unable to believe he's about to admit this, but he has truth potion in his system: Your nightshirt, when you decide to wear it... It is--you look the happiest, in that one. (gay sweatdrop)
Arthur, kind of floored by the vulnerability: (was honestly expecting Merlin to say the red one, but now he wasn't so sure because that also sounded like something girlish that Melrin might say) Alright... How many times have you saved my life?
Imposter Merlin, gleeful on the inside because he finally has a chance to play Merlin's part while Merlin can't even maintain his own web of lies because of the truth potion: (to this imposter's credit, he is very good at pretending to be merlin. he starts mumbling to himself and counting on his fingers, just as Arthur thought Merlin might have done.) Let's see, there was the dagger, the poison, the... (proceededs to ramble off most every single one that Arthur himself is aware of) ... so that's about, a dozen? I'd say?
also Imposter Merlin: (places his hands on his hips in Merlin's sassy way) I'm starting to think you owe me a day off.
Real Merlin, voice shaky, because they are getting nearer and nearer to the topic of magic: Twice a fortnite for as long as I've lived in Camelot... That's got to be in the hundreds by now.
Arthur, suddenly remembering all the creatures of the week that suddenly disappeared before they became a problem. He knew of about one every month or two, but he started reconsidering if his guardian angel had been taking care of threats that he perhaps DIDN'T know about: Erm... (still can't tell who the real Merlin is, because one of them is giving all the answers he's looking for and is acting exactly like he would expect Merlin to, but the other Merlin is being so damn earnest right now, as Merlin was wont to do in times of crisis) What is--what's an honest truth that you've told me that I have mistaken for a lie?
Imposter Merlin, knowing that he's being quizzed on the memories of their shared history, without missing a beat: Valiant's shield. It was enchanted with those snakes. You got into a world of trouble for confronting him about it in front of the entire court. (aka exactly the answer that Arthur was expecting from the real Merlin)
Real Merlin, with a knot in his throat and tears in his eyes because he knows he's doomed: (the first instance that came to mind was that time he saved Gwen's father from sickness using magic and Gwen got thrown in the dungeons for being an alleged sorceress--and of course that was his first thought, he is very very paranoid about the magic so it's all he's thinking about--he has to say the first one for the sake thought for the sake of honesty, even though it's damning) Gwen's not the s-sorcerer... I am. (is also making exactly the same face that he was making the day that he told Arthur about Valiant's shield, the face where he is pleading for Arthur to believe him. The imposter only has access to Merlin's memories through Merlin's eyes, so the imposter wasn't able to see what Merlin's face did that day, so he wouldn't have known)
Arthur, now even more unsure, just gapes for a moment because how fucking stupid does someone have to be to confess to sorcery in Camelot? Twice?! And it was worse yet that he still couldn't tell for sure which Merlin was the real Merlin because he'd never had to combine the image of Merlin with magic before and gods damn it all he needed a moment to process: (decided to start asking Merlin questions about himself instead of quizzing him on information that Arthur already knows) Who was your first love? (fully expecting to hear Gwen's name, although, Merlin was quite flamboyant....)
Imposter Merlin: It was Will... (blushes a little, looking flustered and matter of factly at the same time, in that awkward way that mimics merlin perfectly) You met him, in Ealdor.
Real Merlin, sneering at the imposter in the way that he did Cedric when he was bitter about replaced by a possessed man in the Cornelius Sigan incident (a/n: even though the episode I mention in this line is a totally different one. I think I mix referenced a lot of episodes in this ramble actually): H-her name was Freya. You killed her.
Arthur, alarmed: Killed her? Wh--Merlin--not Merlin--Merlin? (stammers on how to address this Merlin, tosses his hands up after 0.5 seconds) I do not recall killing any village girls in Ealdor..!
Real Merlin, shaking his head: She was the bastet. It wasn't her fault, she was cursed by a sorceress to become a bastet at night. It wasn't your fault either, you did what you had to; I don't blame you for what happened.
Arthur, suddenly remembering that night, remembering how Merlin was reaching for the dangerous feline beast as if it were only a kitten, as if Merlin was going to pet it, or shield it from Arthur, or any other number of things that also seem so very Merlin. Arthur hadn't even considered it before, but now? Looking back? Merlin certainly had been remarkably upset in the passing days after that: (more confused than ever) Wh... Where did -- where were you, yesterday? (Gaius already told Arthur that Merlin was at the tavern)
Imposter Merlin: At the Rising Sun. Gwaine took me out for a round of drinks. Something about a lucky charm?
Arthur, nodding along: (it was true that Arthur has heard Lancelot and a few other knights call Merlin a lucky charm) Hm... (turns to look at the other Merlin)
Real Merlin, with a wobbling lip: (laughs weakly, rolling his teary eyes a bit) I told him to stop using that excuse... (refocuses) I was crawling out of the mirror, if you must know. I TOLD you I had a funny feeling about it. (motions to the imposter) (he has tears in his eyes and a smile on his face, and his voice sounds exactly the same as it did that one time when he said to Arthur 'you're certainly not' after Arthur told him that no man was worth his tears)
Arthur, now watching Real Merlin more closely than Imposter Merlin, searching: Who was your favorite guest to mock at the feasts and whatnot?
Imposter Merlin: (kind of stumped bc he wasn't expecting a question like this)
Real Merlin, who is actually able to answer first after some thought: ..... (snorts) Does-- (snorts again) Would the Lady Catrina count as a guest, d'you think? Or should I--no--I'll say it was the Lady Vivian. You get this, LOOK on your face every time she sits near you at the banquet table when she comes 'round.
Arthur, jaw dropped in mock offense: Because she is rather touchy! We've been over this..! (doesn't even realized that he just responded to Real Merlin as if he were for sure the real Merlin, and momentarily forgot that there were two convincing Merlins present)
Imposter Merlin: Are you mad? Arthur, the fake me said it himself that he crawled out of the mirror and practices sorcerery..! (looks so earnest, so genuine, but it's just... not quite how Merlin would say it)
Arthur: (narrows his eyes at the imposter with slight suspicion)
Imposter Merlin: (gives Arthur a flat look, exactly like the real Merlin would do when Arthur says something stupid) Arthur, I am not a sorcerer. You would know. (a/n: last episode style)
Arthur, who had never once suspected magic, but did always know that Merlin had been keeping a secret from him (he'd always assumed it was the alcoholism, but now....): You'd think so, wouldn't you.... (glances at the real Merlin, looking a little hurt)
Real Merlin, not denying the magic at all: I was born with it. I use it for you, Arthur.
Imposter Merlin: You can't honestly--
Arthur, looking deep into Real Merlin's eyes: Swear to me, right now, that you are telling me the truth. Prove it to me.
Real Merlin: (grabs the hidden dagger out of the imposters hands, who had apparently been gearing up to attack Arthur, which is confusing enough all on its own because it made it difficult to tell which one of them was truly intent on attacking Arthur with it, and then charges Arthur)
Arthur, who normally has keen warrior reflexes but not when his enemies wear Merlin's face: (freezes up, and then watches in shock as the dagger clashes against the thin air about an inch in front of Arthur's chest, cast aside by some glowing shield that fades after a second)
Real Merlin: Why do you think it takes me three hours to polish your armor? Do you have any idea how long it takes to enchant the space between every link of chainmail? (drops the dagger at Arthur's feet so he knows it was just a demonstration and not a genuine attack, similar to the way that Arthur always aims just to the left of Merlin when he's throwing blunt objects such as goblets because he never wishes any actual harm on Merlin)
Arthur, blinking dazedly: (can't help but think of that one time that Merlin spontaneously became talented at juggling. it's such a strange thing to remember, and completely unrelated to the current happenings, but Merlin's smile was small and smug just like it had been that day, and it just--clicked)
also Arthur, looking slightly more sure of himself now: (needs one final test to make absolutely certain, but he thinks he knows just what to ask) What would you have me do, if I cannot tell you apart?
Real Merlin, without missing a beat: Arrest us both. (shrugs casually) I am a sorcerer after all. Better safe than sorry.
(And that's just it, isn't it. It was just like Merlin, to sacrifice himself like that. It was just so, unmistakenly Merlin.)
Arthur, smirking in mock offense: Better safe than--excuse you, I could take you apart with one blow!
Merlin *cough*hearteyes*cough* "Emrys" Hunithson™, the one and only: I could take you apart with less than that
(In the end, Merlin walks himself to the dungeons as the imposter is arrested, just to give Arthur peace of mind so there's no pressure to second guess his decision since even if Arthur chose wrong, there is no assassin Merlin imposter on the loose. Merlin and the imposter both spend 3 days in their respective cells before the imposter finally does some decidedly out of character shit and Arthur can have him executed with full confidence that it's not Merlin... since the guy really was very good at mimicking Merlin. Arthur didn't even realize that he'd needed it at the time, but looking back, he probably would have had a panic attack as the imposter was marched to be hanged. He probably would have doubted himself at the last second and wondered if he really did believe the right Merlin those few days ago. But thankfully, Merlin thinks ahead sometimes and is actually quite thoughtful and wise on these such rare occasions.)
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entitled-fangirl · 2 months
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Peculiar.
Cregan Stark x seer!reader
Summary: the reader whispers away, but Cregan doesn’t mind.
Masterlist
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…………………………
"My love? What are you doing?"
Y/n sat in the middle of the garden in the dark, something in her hand.
"It's cold, my dear wife. What has caught your attention?" Cregan tried again.
A frog sat in her hand and she didn't let her gaze leave it. "The lead-footed toad will try to grow a hand," she whispered softly to herself.
He let out a soft sigh, knowing she was stuck in her head. He knelt down next to her, looking at the frog. "Are you cold?"
"The lead-footed toad."
"I know," he whispered back. "I know. But are you cold, my love?"
No answer came from her.
He reached up and gently touched her shoulder, and when she flinched instinctively, he was ready to calm her, "Shh. It's just me."
She relaxed at that, as if finally returning to the world. The frog had jumped from her hand when she had flinched and she looked back to her hand and began to frantically search the dirt around her for it.
Cregan reached out and grabbed her hands, "Hey. Hey. C'mere."
She looked back up at him, "It will try to grow a hand, Cregan."
He nodded, "I understand." He never quite did, but he knew better than to try to make it make sense to him. If it made sense to her, that's all that mattered. "You're freezing. Let us return to the warm walls, yes?"
"What if it succeeds?"
He frowned, "The toad?"
She nodded.
He shrugged, "Then he'll be the first of his kind, I suppose. But that's quite unlikely, don't you think?"
She considers his words and eventually nods, "Yes. Yes. I think so."
He smiles and brushes hair from her face, "C'mon. Up."
The two returned to the castle, but not without a last look at the dirt her frog had once been in.
The next spell happened in the dead of night.
It was actually quite unusual for it to surprise her in sleep.
She sat up, wide eyed, and in a dead sweat. Her breathing was erratic.
She looked to Cregan who slept like the dead.
The dead.
Her dream. "The fire will drown all but the two deserving of dying and they will claim it for themselves," she whispered to remember.
She pulled the blankets from herself and got up from the bed and moved to the fireplace.
She stared at the flames.
The fire will drown them.
Even she couldn't understand who.
Cregan rubbed his eyes and looked to her side of the bed, immediately frowning when she was not there.
He sat up, scanning the room and relaxing when he saw her, "Sweet girl?" His voice echoed in the quiet room.
She looked over her shoulder to him and wiped her face, "Sorry. Couldn't sleep."
He nodded, running a hand through his hair. "Alright," he said awkwardly. He wasn't sure what to do. "Want to talk about it?”
"Hmm?"
"The dream I know you had." He stated. "Do you want to talk about it?"
She hummed, "No. I don't think so."
"Come back to bed then."
"In a minute."
Cregan fell back onto the bed dramatically, "I shall catch hypothermia if my dear wife does not come warm me!"
She giggled, much more eager to join him.
His methods worked, and she was soon asleep on his chest.
The third one was sudden.
Cregan was busy sparring in the courtyard with a fellow swordsman, perfecting his skills.
She sat not too far with a book she was engrossed in.
But she suddenly dropped it and held her hands on either side of her head and her face scrunched in pain.
Cregan heard her whimper and he quickly abandoned his sword to move to her, "What's going on?"
She shook her head.
He knew the best method in this instance was to give her space, no matter how much he didn't want to.
She had a very sharp intake of breath and her eyes shot open. "Poison will stain the mouth of the ruler of the sun."
He tilted his head, "Hmm?"
"The… the poison. The sun…" Her voice faded as if uncertainty took over. "The ruler of the sun…"
He knelt in front of her, "You alright?"
She looked to him with a furrowed brow but she eventually nodded.
He let out a soft breath, leaning forward to capture her lips for just a moment.
He pulled away, "Let me clean up, and we'll discuss this 'ruler of the sun'. Yes?"
She let out a radiant smile, "Please."
He couldn't stop a small smile from running across his face as well.
She was such a peculiar thing, but he adored it.
……………………………..
Cregan Stark taglist: @misswynters, @cosmosnkaz, @sithapprentice, @kaniromi, @lovemesomevesey, @its-jackie-bb, @callsignwidow, @8812-342, @nyxbranwenn, @thorins-queen-of-erebor
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godsfavdarling · 15 days
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watching him
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part of him (one-shot series), my masterlist
pairing: Spencer Reid x gn!reader summary: You help Spencer wash his curls properly. words: 1,2k warnings: most self indulgent fluff you have ever read, nudity/bathing together, maybe a bit suggestive but still sfw, no y/n a/n: I was in the shower and famously I have the same hair type and color as mgg and we would absolutely share our routine.
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Spencer's head tilted toward you, giving you better access to his tangled brown strands. 
Your fingers, maybe a bit too roughly, moved through his scalp, detangling with a kind of focused care you hadn’t realized you were capable of.
You sat facing each other in the cramped bathroom, your legs tucked on either side of his while his stretched out around you, creating a tight but strangely comfortable space between you.
You couldn't help but watch him intently. 
With his eyes closed, unaware of your gaze, he looked almost ethereal—peaceful in a way you rarely got to see. 
His wet curls framed his face, softening his features, and the dim light of the bathroom made him look even more serene. 
There was something mesmerizing about watching him like this, when he couldn't catch you staring, when he couldn't see the way you studied every detail.
He looked so pretty, so effortlessly beautiful, that you let yourself indulge, longer than you should, in the quiet act of watching him.
“This smells nice,” he murmured, his eyes squeezed shut to shield them from your movements and the severe foam you created. His voice was soft, almost drowsy. 
He didn’t say anything more, but you caught the faintest hint of pleasure in his tone. 
Maybe he enjoyed this. Maybe he liked having his hair tugged. You made a mental note of that.
“I don’t really like this one much,” you admitted, scrunching your nose at the scent as you continued working the product through his hair.
“Really?” he asked, his brows furrowing slightly. His eyes remained closed, but the slight upward tilt of his head suggested curiosity.
“Yeah. It’s too intense. I liked it at first, but now it’s overwhelming.”
“I still like it. It smells like you,” he replied, his voice low and steady.
Not water related heat rushed through your body. 
You suddenly became hyper-aware of how close you were. 
You resumed your careful work on his curls, trying to focus, but it wasn’t easy.
You never thought you’d enjoy this so much. You hated washing your own hair, but washing his? It felt like a sweet dessert, a perfect indulgence after the cozy dinner you’d shared on the couch.
Your thighs kept brushing against his in the tight confines of the tub, sending a slow, torturous fever through your veins.
As if that weren’t enough, his hands found your knees at some point, his thumbs tracing lazy circles on your skin. 
He wasn’t making your task any easier.
You fought to keep your breath steady, your heart from racing out of control. You tried to play it cool, as if having him this close, this intimate, wasn’t driving you to the edge.
Is this what it felt like? 
Is this how you know the bond with him is real? Maybe it wasn't an accident after all. 
You've felt like you dreamed Spencer into existence, like he stepped out of the picture you'd been painting in your mind since childhood. 
You felt like you dreamed him up .
And one day, there he was—alive, right in front of you, as if he'd always been meant to be.
And now you were squeezed together in your tiny bathtub on a Friday night, showing him how to take care of his curls. 
“Okay, I’m going to rinse out the shampoo now. Don’t open your eyes,” you warned.
“They’re still closed,” he assured, a slight smirk tugging at his lips.
You carefully worked the water through his hair, rinsing away the foam while your fingers combed through his curls. You realized you might’ve been a little rougher than necessary. You gently squeezed the excess water from his hair.
“You have to get rid of the water like this,” you explained, gathering his hair and squeezing it upward in small sections. “Don’t straighten it out, just squeeze it up. Does that make sense?”
“I get it,” he said, his voice laced with quiet trust.
“You could do more complicated stuff, but your hair’s pretty gentle, so I think just shampoo and conditioner for curly hair will do the trick. Just... don’t brush it when it’s dry, okay?”
“Okay,” he repeated, nodding slightly.
“You only brush it when it’s really, really wet. Now for the conditioner.” You took the bottle and squeezed out what you deemed the right amount, showing it to him. “This should be enough.”
He nodded again, his head still hanging, eyes shut as the water ran over him. You carefully worked the conditioner into his hair. 
“You can brush through it if you need to, but don’t put any on your scalp. This one doesn’t need time to soak in, so we can rinse it right away.”
You gently massaged the conditioner through his curls before turning on the water again, running your fingers through his hair to ensure all the product was rinsed out.
You turned the water off and squeezed the excess water from his hair one last time.
Gently, you lifted his head, tugging it upward, and carefully pushed his damp curls away from his pretty face. 
As you brushed the hair from his forehead, his eyes blinked open, still sensitive to the bright bathroom light. 
His lashes were damp, and he rubbed at his eyes, finally releasing his hold on your knees. 
For a moment, you both just looked at each other.
There you were.
Both naked.
Taking care of each other.
What kind of dream was this?
Before you got to dwell on your life more Spencer broke the silence. 
“Now, my turn,” he said, his voice still soft but now filled with a teasing certainty.
You blinked, surprised. “What?”
“I’m going to wash your hair,” he clarified, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. 
There was even more warmth in his eyes than usual and a quiet determination you weren’t sure you could say no to.
“Spence, you don’t have to—”
“I know,” he said, already shifting in the tub to give himself a bit more space, motioning for you to turn around. “But I want to.”
You hesitated for a moment, the idea of letting him touch you in such a way—this close, this tender—sending a flutter of nervous excitement through your chest. 
“Okay,” you murmured as you turned around. 
You weren’t sure how much longer you could handle facing him now that his eyes were open.
You couldn’t take the way he looked at you. It felt too soft and too loving sometimes.
What did you do to deserve this? To deserve him?
For the sake of your own sanity, you shifted your focus to counting the tiles, letting the numbers steady your racing thoughts of him.
So close. So visible in the bathroom lighting.
His hands found their way to your shoulders first, steady and reassuring, before sliding up to your head. 
His fingers, surprisingly deft, massaged your scalp with slow, deliberate movements, while his other hand held the showerhead, gently wetting your hair. 
You hadn’t anticipated how good it would feel, how effortlessly the tension in your body would melt away under his careful touch.
“I’ll be gentle,” he murmured, his voice close to your ear, causing a shiver to run down your spine.
You closed your eyes, surrendering to him. Letting him watch you.
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realcube · 3 months
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UNCONVENTIONAL PLACES
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unconventional locations you have sex with the hq men (aka anywhere but bed)
characters ♡ (all aged up) oikawa, daichi, sakusa and ushijima
tws ♡ fem! reader, oral (receiving), vaginal, degradation if you squint — minors dni!
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OIKAWA doesn't think there is a point of owning a hot tub if you're not going to use it to the fullest extent. you say you'd be lot more comfortable if he bought one for inside the house, but here you are, happily bouncing away on his cock in your outdoor hot tub without a care in the world for who might hear. he's sat with one arm relaxed around the edge of the tub and the other placed on your hip, guiding you up and down, a smile playing on his lips as he watches the ripples and bubbles foam up against your waist. putting in so much effort just to get him off, so selfless — he can tell it's taxing by your breathless moans and your juddering shoulders — you're so good to him. he wants to reward you, but a part of him thinks that allowing you to use his dick to split yourself in two is reward enough. but hearing your shamelessly lewd moans and watching your perky ass bounce against him, he just can't resist — your his dream girl, after all; you deserve everything he has to give. his other hand suddenly moves to claim a steel grip on your waist, holding you in place while he shoots his load inside you. it's messy but he'll ask someone to clean it later. this wasn't the first time he's creampied you in a tub and it definitely won't be the last.
DAICHI can't quite put his finger on it but there's just something about seeing you so sweet and domestic, innocently putting the laundry in the dryer with your hair lasily throw into an updo and an angelic smile plastered on your face (you were thinking about what he was going to do you tonight). you'd both got the day off work so you planned to spend the whole evening together but he just couldn't wait, he needed you now. he couldn't even hold himself back long enough to rush you to the bedroom or the living room first, he had to take you right then there. he had you bend over the rumbling dryer, his large hand tangled in your hair, utilising his strong grip to push your face against the cold plastic surface. the whole machine shook, and so did your body, as he pounded into your from behind repeatedly, all while your throbbing clit was pressed against the vibrating machine. naturally it didn't take long before you came. unfortunately daichi didn't have the extra stimulation provided by the dryer but that was alright, as he knows he has you; such a good wife who will let him rail her in any hole he wants until he's dry.
SAKUSA knows there is nothing better than his sweetheart when she's all soapy and bubbly. now, don't be fooled: he will lead you to believe it's a hygiene thing and he prefers you when you're clean but he's so whipped, he'd fuck you after you ran a half marathon then jumped in a murky river. no, he likes you in the shower for purely aesthetic reasons; there's nothing hotter than you with wet hair clinging to your cheeks, while soap and rippling water cascades over your perfect figure. such an ethereal delight you are. he expresses that by trailing fleeting kisses down your torso but of course he doesn't stop when he gets to low. instead, he's on his knees on the rough tiles of the wet room with his face buried between your legs. water runs down your body, and with his mouth connected to your cunt, it spills over his face, mixing with the beads of sweat forming on his skin and your slick that drips off his chin. his tongue thrusting movements and nose pressuring your clit doesn't cease until your legs have given out and you're moaning uncontrollably, sinking to the ground against the wetroom wall.
USHIJIMA has been stressed about upcoming international volleyball championships. it all training, training, training with him and it has been that way for the last couple weeks. you can hardly get him in bed with you, he's always on the court — so like the problem-solver you are, you decided to bring bed to the court. ushijima had a wing built on to the side of your house which was one big volleyball court, he was practising spikes and serves on his own while he waited for his teammates to come round. he wore that intense look on his face that never seems to dissipate recently. you saunter up to the other side of the net, a volleyball tucked under your arm, wearing a swedish adlers kit that you had cropped to all hell, "may i join you?" you tease in a sing-songy voice and that's all it takes. before you know it you're bend over on the floor, volleyball tucked between your thighs and stomach while ushijima rams into you from behind. usually he's a gentle giant but not today; if you're going to come onto the court while he's practising and act like a whore then he's going to treat you like one. he's rough and grabs you by the ass and tits and thighs to manhandle you into whatever position he likes; front, back, upside down if he really wants. this total control and recent sexual frustration contributed to his climax before your own, and as soon as he has shot his load inside you, he pulls out, a mixture of your fluids spilling out of your hole in the process. glancing down at your dishevelled state, he grunts, "clean this up. they're going to be here soon."
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hawkinsbnbg · 5 months
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Soulmates au where Steve's soulmate is a man of culture.
ao3
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Steve got Good boy inscribed on his butt, just on the right cheek.
It would be funny if it was a tattoo Steve had gotten one time when he was too drunk and on a dare.
Except it wasn't a tattoo. At all.
Even though it kind of looked like one.
It was the first words his soulmate would say to him.
When Steve first got it, his friends had given him odd looks in the locker room.
Tommy would use many excuses to touch and even Billy wouldn't shut up about it.
As for Carol, she just cackled her head off when he showed it to her.
Still, whenever Steve was alone, he would look at the words in the mirror and feel kinda giddy about the whole thing.
Who would call someone they had just met "good boy"? What if they were far older than him?
And what would his words be for them? "Yes sir"? "Hello sir"?
Soon, he found his answer when he learned about the BDSM world, which Robin had jokingly mentioned one time.
And Steve sort of fell down the rabbit hole since then.
He met many men and women who would call him "good boy", and occasionally "good girl".
But none of them felt right.
Until he heard about Kas.
Who was known to be an experienced dom and knew how to treat his subs right.
Most of the subs in Steve's circle put the man on a pedestal. They practically worshipped the ground he walked on.
And Steve had become curious enough to seek him out.
A quick text over the phone and Steve already had a date with Kas at a hotel on Friday night.
Once the day arrived, he dolled himself up a little, knowing many doms liked how rosy cheeks and pouty lips he was.
He even wore lipgloss and mascara just for good luck.
His outfit was simple enough to take off, but cute nonetheless.
A yellow and pink graffitied black sweater that was a little baggy on him, a tiny pearl choker, silver bracelets, a pair of jeans shorts, and baby pink sneakers.
He looked like a twink, all things considered.
It wasn't his first time dressing like this and it wouldn't be the last time, either.
Steve just..
Well, he just wanted to make sure if he stumbled on his soulmate who happened to be a dom, he wouldn't disappoint them too badly.
It had been years since his word first appeared. So he had the right to be a little bit desperate.
Steve didn't know why, but by the time he got to the hotel, he was a puddle of nerves.
He figured that maybe it was the "Kas' effect" that many people had told him about.
When the door opened to let Kas into the room, Steve just knew this man was going to rock his world.
Kas was attractive and tall. Easily having a couple of inches on him.
With long curly hair, big brown eyes, and plump lips, the man looked surprisingly intimidating.
He wore a burgundy shirt with sleeves rolled up to the elbows, showing his tattoos and chunky silver rings.
His pants and heavy boots were made of leather, which Steve suddenly wanted to rub himself on.
He seemed to be a lanky type, but Steve knew better than to assume anything.
As Kas languidly made his way to the bed, Steve unconsciously slid down to the floor and got on his knees, waiting for his order.
Yeah, he was a good boy like that.
There was a reason why many doms had asked to keep him despite knowing he only let his soulmate own him.
Kas wasn't any different.
The man smiled at him, dimpled and warm, making Steve woozy a bit at being praised even wordlessly.
Once Kas sat down, he spread his thighs slightly and patted a hand on his lap.
Understanding the silent command immediately, Steve climbed up on it without being told twice.
He blushed and giggled a bit when strong arms wrapped around his waist securely.
"Good boy," said Kas huskily, smelling of cigarettes and something spicy. "What do you want for your reward, sweetheart?"
Steve felt his breath hitched at that. He knew the chance wasn't high but–
"Can I kiss you, sir?" He asked coyly, playing his role to perfection.
This time, it was Kas who took a sharp intake.
Surprise, disbelief, uncertainty, hope, and finally, joy settled on the man's handsome features.
Kas smiled at him again, more genuine and hopeful.
"Baby boy, do you know that I have those words written on my left ribs my entire life?"
"Show me," Steve demanded, unable to keep up the act when he was so close to finding his soulmate.
Without protest, Kas unbuttoned his shirt and there it was, scribbled on the man's pale skin was Can I kiss you, sir? in his handwriting.
Smiling fondly, Steve traced his fingers on those words.
They sounded so sweet. And yet concerning if being put into the wrong context.
What a pair they made.
"Can you show me yours, sweetheart?" Kas asked tentatively, looking unsure despite having been so confident just a few minutes ago.
"Yeah, sure, of course," Steve scrambled up from the man's lap and blushed as he turned around to unzip and pull down his shorts.
Hearing Kas curse quietly behind him was, perhaps, the most flattering moment in his life.
He could see what kind of an image he made with his baggy sweater bunching up around his waist, white thong, and Good boy being inked on his tanned buttcheek.
Some would call it hot, sexy, or erotic.
But Steve knew how obscene he looked with those words on him.
Especially when he was face down and ass up, waiting to be fucked into oblivion.
Not that he had let anyone fuck him, yet. But he wouldn't mind if Kas did it tonight.
Steve shuddered slightly as calloused fingers brushed on his cool skin, and let out a moan when hot lips placed a tender kiss on his cheek.
Then without pausing, strong hands grabbed his hips before sharp teeth sank into his flesh, eliciting a yelp from him.
It wasn't painful. It just made Steve want to ask for more. So he turned around to do exactly that.
"Kas–"
"Call me Eddie," the man tugged him back into his lap.
"Eddie," he breathed out as he straddled the man's thighs.
"Yes, my sunshine?" Eddie smiled adoringly at him.
"Can I kiss you now?" Steve braced his hands on the broad shoulders with a raised eyebrow.
Tightening the arms around his waist, Eddie pecked him on his chin, sweet and loving.
"How about I let you kiss me for the rest of our lives, my pretty angel?"
"And I'll be yours for as long as we live?" Steve murmured against those plump lips.
"Yeah, gonna treat you right, my good boy," Eddie chuckled before drawing him into a fervent kiss.
Steve was so going to thank that Chrissy girl who had sold him her mascara and lipgloss later.
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wileys-russo · 1 month
Text
in the blink of an eye II a.putellas
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its alexia angst hour bbys in the blink of an eye II a.putellas
in your early twenties life was good.
you were in love, you were happy, you were treated far better than you thought ever possible and you had one girl to thank for it, a girl you were head over heels for and a girl who practically worshipped the ground you walked on.
in your early twenties you fell in love.
your girlfriend was a professional footballer, you were studying law, your career paths couldn't have been anymore different and yet that was what was so perfect about it.
when alexia didn't want to talk about football, she'd encourage your passionate rambles about your studies, latching herself to your side where her chin would find a permanent home on your shoulder as you'd go on and on and on.
you knew really she didn't understand half of what you were saying, you knew she just needed a distraction, something to take her away. away from the pressure, the stress, the statistics, the training, the fans, the expectations which weighed heavily on her shoulders.
and for alexia that was you in your entirety, you were her entirety.
the way your smile would light up a room and your laughter could fill it with the most melodious sound, your joy was infectious and alexia found she started to crave it, fixated and dedicated to making sure a day didn’t pass where she wouldn’t see it, like an addict she needed to see the parly whites of your teeth, the little dimples in the corner of your mouth and the way your eyes crinkled when you smiled.
alexia knew you however hated your smile, you’d often use your hand to cover your mouth when you laughed or grinned and from one of the very first days she knew you the catalan would discourage this. alexia relished in the rosy pink blush which crept from the nape of your neck ever so slowly upward until eventually it filled with your cheeks with a warmth and a glow, a blush she could control with just a few sweet words and a kiss behind your ear to accompany it.
alexia adored you in every sense of the word and there wasn’t a thing she wouldn’t do if it made you happy, because when you were happy so was she. around you life felt that little bit brighter and lighter, the air cleaner and it meant alexia could finally breathe, take in large deep greedy inhales that filled her lungs and calmed her senses, to alexia you were a lifeline, her oxygen. wou were like a drug to her, a little boost of serotonin, a simple smile a shot of adrenaline coursing through her veins, to alexia you were everything.
until ever so suddenly, you weren’t.
in your early twenties your life came crashing down like a toddlers tower of blocks, and alexia was the collateral.
it was a normal day and it had started just like any other. your girlfriend slipped out of bed much earlier than you liked, and the night before you'd slipped into bed much later than she would have liked.
your studies were to put it lightly, kicking your ass. as was alexia's pre-season for barcelona, both of your schedules and commitments meaning early mornings and late nights falling in and out of bed, a few measly hours wrapped up together in one anothers arms.
but that wasn't the chip that befell the tree, nor was it anything you and alexia hadn't gone through countless times before. you knew what alexia needed and wanted sometimes even before she did, and visa versa.
or at least, you thought you knew.
once alexia got back from her morning run it was to the smell of eggs, chorizo and coffee. you were found in the kitchen finishing up breakfast, melting into your girlfriends arms as they wrapped around you and you mumbled that she was sweaty as her lips peppered your collarbone with feather light kisses.
"ale!" you laughed, foot kicking out at her as her hand smacked against your ass and with a cheeky smile reserved only for you she was disappearing into the bathroom
the breakfast dished up and ready alexia all but inhaled it as she stepped out of the bedroom dressed for training, your head shaking with an amused smile painting your lips as you sipped on a coffee, watching her and biting your tongue not to warn her about indigestion knowing you'd said it a million times before without any luck.
then with her training bag already meticulously packed the night before your girlfriend was kissing you goodbye, faking that she was leaving before returning to kiss you over and over again just to hear you laugh, and then she really was disappearing out the front door
it was your singular day off from school for the week and you had a mountain of work to catch up on so really it wasn't a day off at all. with your second coffee of the day in hand and the warm morning sun bathing the balcony you slipped out there, nala curling up on her bed as an airpod slipped into your ear and you opened your laptop.
the next time you looked up you realised it had been four hours and you could hear your stomach growling. you closed your laptop and stretched grunting loudly as you did and startling the tiny pomerain who raced off inside, nails clacking against the floorboards.
flicking your phone off of do not disturb you smiled at the flood of texts from your girlfriend, reading through them as you grabbed out a microwave safe container to reheat some soup you'd made the night before.
with it buzzing away you sent a few replies to alexia and left your phone on the counter, frowning as the sky had darkened and a quick check of the weather showed rain was impeding later in the afternoon.
so moving your study materials inside you shivered as a gust of wind blew and sent a chill down your spine, dragged ever so slowly through your bones as you changed course and headed for the bedroom.
missing your girlfriend and knowing this weather was a favourite between both of you for laying down wrapped up together you bypassed your own side of the wardrobe and went to alexia's instead.
"stupidly tall woman." you grumbled, stretching up to try and grab her favorite hoodie which she never went to a length too much to hide from you, hoisting yourself up and tugging it back down, squealing as several other items of clothing tumbled down with it and sending you to the floor.
"mierda." you huffed under your breath, sitting up and shuffling back out of the small mountain of hoodies. as you knelt and began to re-fold them you frowned feeling an odd lump in the pocket of one of them.
your girlfriend was normally nothing but meticulous in checking every single pocket, nook and cranny of clothing when she did laundry, so for something to have evaded her careful gaze was unusual to say the least.
though as your hand slipped into her hoodie pocket, fingers stroking soft crushed velvet, your heart rate began to accelerate as you realised maybe this wasn't an accident and rather something that had been hidden from you.
sure enough as your grip tightened and you slipped it out your heart sank at the small navy blue box sat in your palm. there was a very small voice in the back of your head which was yelling for you to put it back, pretend you hadn't seen and forget all of this happened.
however there was a much louder, much more convincing voice which was screaming at you to open it, to confirm that the dread settling in the pit of your stomach was justified, drowning out any and all sense of reason.
it was out of character for you to be like this, you were a curious person by nature however not one to go against the grain or ignore what you knew to be the voice of logic and sense.
yet here you were, and popping open that tiny crushed velvet box in your hand you knew you'd made a horrible mistake when you saw the glint of silver and immediately snapped it close, your body thumping back against the floor as you stared up at the ceiling in disbelief.
and just like that...the domino effect had started.
when alexia came home that night she was a little startled by how quiet the apartment seemed, the clicking of nala's nails across the floorboard melting that sense of wary a little as the catalan dropped her bag and scooped up the tiny pomeranian and kissed her nose.
"mi amor? estás en casa?" alexia called, slipping off her shoes and placing nala back down who followed along at her heels. "aquí." you replied curtly from the living room, causing alexia's frown to deepen at the shortness of your tone.
"amor, estás bien?" your girlfriend rounded the corner and barely got the words out of her mouth before it dried up, spotting you sat on the sofa and then immediately her eyes dropped to the little navy blue box sat on the coffee table in front of you.
"ale-" you started with a small sigh but it fell on deaf ears as alexia hurried over and snatched the box back up, clutching it to her chest with wide eyes and shock hammered into her features.
"jesucristo! princesa where did you-" alexia started, shaking her head stubbornly and puffing air from her nose in frustration as she tried to form a coherant sentence. "mierda." she grunted out, fingers pinching her nose as her bruntette locks were tied up messily into a post shower bun.
"i-i had a whole plan amor. a big speech, flowers, the beach!" alexia sighed, dropping to sit on the edge of the kickout with a shake of her head. "ale-" you tried again but she cut you off with a flick of her fingers.
"no no, vale vale. i can make this work! it is just you, sí? why should i be nervous? it is just you, and i love you." alexia smiled nervously as your heart ached seeing the obvious joy in her eyes, bile gathering in your throat as within a blink of an eye your girlfriend was suddenly down on one knee in front of you.
"i-i had so much to say. i have so much to say but my mind...it just goes blank sometimes. you are so-" her spare hand squeezed your knee as she chuckled and shook her head, clearing her throat.
"mi amor, i have loved you i think in a way since the day i met you. i would very very much like to keep loving you, every single day until my last day and then i want to find you and love you and be loved by you all over again in every single lifetime after that." alexia laughed still with an undeniable wobble of nerves, your nausea growing at what you inevitably knew was coming next.
"ale-" "so...will you marry me?"
the silence which hung in the air afterward was thick with something, alexia couldn't quite work it out nor could she read the look on your face at first, her heart hammering in her chest as she awaited an answer.
but then, then your features softened, the slope of your eyebrows curved downward and your jaw hardened ever so slightly, but if all of those little giveaways wasn't enough, as alexia's eyes bore into yours her stomach heaved into her mouth.
pity.
you were looking at her like you might a child who scraped their knee, or an animal thats hurt its leg and doesn't understand why, or like someone who needed to deliver bad news and really, really, didn't know how to.
"you do not want to." alexia realised suddenly, smile dying as her arm lowered slowly and your pained frown deepened. "ale..i can't." was all you managed to get out with a sigh, the box snapped shut with a sharp clack making you wince.
"you can't? what do you mean?" your girlfriend asked with an air of confusion, the box slipped into her pocket and out of sight as she took a seat on the opposite end of the lounge from you, barely able to meet your eyes which she felt burn holes into the side of her head.
"alexia, amor i am twenty three. i am not ready to get married yet, that is just...it is too much." you stammered, heartbeat so loud it was near deafening in your ears as you watched your girlfriends jaw harden as her eyes were trained to the floor.
"we do not have to get married now, we could have a long engagement!" her head suddenly snapped upward to look at you, not even trying to hide the slight air of desperation in her gaze as again all you could do was bit your lip guiltily.
"ale, it is too much, i am just not ready for that yet i-" you tried to reach for her hands but she snatched them away, pain flickering across her face as she suddenly stood, turning away from you as an uncomfortably tense silence settled.
"mi amor, por favor i-" you tried, her head shaking side to side. "no. i do not want your pity." her voice was cold, and you could see in her body language that her fuse was running dangerously short and she was teetering on the edge of shutting off or breaking down.
you didn't know which you'd prefer.
"i love you. do you not love me?" she turned, words sharp and accusatory as they flecked off of you like tiny pin pricks.
"alexia por supuesto que te quiero, i am so very in love with you. i just-" "you just do not love me enough to marry me."
if you thought the silence that bubbled and simmered its way up before was tense, it was nothing compared to the thick, sticky, suffocatingly horrid pause that ensued after her words as you struggled with what your own should be in response.
"that is not what i said." "you are not arguing it either."
you dragged your hands down your face with a deep and troubled sigh, suddenly wishing you'd never stumbled across that stupid little navy blue box in the first place but really even if you hadn't you'd just have been prolonging the inevitable.
"alexia i love you very much. but i am twenty three, i am in the middle of my studies and you are getting more and more well known by the day. i am so incredibly proud of you amor, proud to be with you. everything with us is so perfect, why does it have to change? why now?" you asked, your own desperation spat out inbetween each syllable as your girlfriend scoffed.
"change has to happen, we cannot stay like this forever. i want-i want to make you my wife, i want to buy a house, to start a family. why is that such a bad thing if things are so perfect?" alexia fired right back, arms crossed and eyebrows furrowed.
"a family? ale i am drowning in student debt and exams and i have my internship next summer, hell some days we barely have an hour together! i go to school full time, you train two or three times every single day not to mention away games, national team camps, award ceremonies, business meetings. when are you expecting me to have a baby? or you? we do not have time right now! why are we rushing this?" you laughed though it was one of nerves and of anxiety, a sound which was shrill and desperate and panicked.
"because i love you and i want those things with you, i want the next step and i want a future with you, i want to marry you and start a family!" alexias voice raised as you quickly stood, chest heaving as you struggled to control your breathing.
"and what about what i want? what about my career? my dreams? my future?" you snapped back, pinching your nose to try and calm down as alexias jaw tightened even further and she began to pace back and forth.
"espere. let us just, let us take a second and breathe. i do not want to fight mi amor." your tone softened but if alexia heard you she made no move to show that, feet stomping a track in the carpet as she paced side to side muttering things under her breath.
"is there someone else?"
you choked on air at that, not quite sure if you heard her correctly as your head snapped up in utter disbelief, not able to see through the hardened gaze which bore right back at you clearly awaiting an answer.
"seriamente? i say i am not ready to get married yet and you assume that means i am cheating on you?" you scoffed, throwing your hands up.
"of course there is no one else alexia i just told you how much i love you!" "but you do not love me enough to marry me."
"that is not fair." you managed to get out, your voice cracking slightly as again the horridly thick silence returned, wrapping its way around your throat and tightening as you rubbed your neck with a grimace.
"what are you doing? where are you going?" you asked with a frown as without another word your girlfriend started to walk away, grabbing her keys off the counter as you hurried to catch up, nala barking happily assuming that meant it was time for a walk.
but the lead remained hung up on the wall, untouched.
"alexia-" you grabbed her wrist which was snatched away as if the girl had been burned by your touch, your face falling and stomach churning at the pain and the rage simmering in her eyes.
"amor por favor, we can talk about this more, we can listen to one another and get through this. you are angry, you are hurt, embarrassed even i understand that. but i don't-" you tried again to grab her wrist, stumbling backward as she once more yanked her arm away.
"if you are not ready to marry me today, then you do not love me the way that i love you, and all of this, it feels like it has been for nothing." her words hit you where it hurt as you visibly deflated, clutching onto the counter and looking back at her with tears brimming in the corner of your eyes.
"alexia..." but it was too late, the door opened and slammed closed and suddenly that hand which was wrapping its way around your throat returned.
the suffocating tension and anxiety tightening like a boa constrictor you gasped and choked for air, fighting an invisible foe as you slowly sank down to sit on the floor, tucking your knees to your chest and struggling to fill your lungs with oxygen in short shaky sobs.
in your early twenties life was good, in your early twenties you fell in love and found out what it felt like to be loved.
in your early twenties you had everything you could possibly desire, and then in the blink of an eye, all of it was gone.
~
"cereal!" you smiled and reached for the box that her chubby little finger was pointing at. "this one?" you raised an eyebrow as the three year old clapped gleefully, swinging her legs where she was sat in the shopping cart.
"more cereal!" posie grinned as you laughed. "no more cereal nena, we have to get real food so you grow up big and strong!" you poked at her stomach, little giggles sounding which always made you melt as you smiled and kissed her cheek, straightening back up.
though before you could push the cart even a millimeter forward you heard your name, glancing over your shoulder and eyes widening as they landed on who that voice belonged to.
"i thought that was you. you grew your natural hair out, no more blonde." eli smiled kindly as your heart hammered in your chest and you forced a smile of your own which didn't quite meet your eyes.
"sí, it was too expensive to maintain. uh, cómo estás?" you asked a little awkwardly, your body shielding the shorter woman from the toddler behind you as best as you could.
"her hair is not the only thing she grew." you jumped a little, startled as someone moved past you and appeared next to eli, alba's eyes glaring daggers at you as you shifted, unsure quite how to respond.
eli however was quick to, elbowing her younger daughter and mumbling something with a frown as the girl rolled her eyes and walked off, her animosity not surprising as much as bumping into them had been.
"lo siento, she did not mean to be rude." eli apologised sincerely as you nodded, catching her eyes peer around you and a small smile paint her lips as you stepped to the side, posie grinning at the woman who made no move to step forward.
"this is mariposa, posie for short." you explained, wishing the ground would swallow you up as eli waved to the toddler who smiled, reaching around and trying to grab the box of cereal.
you were quick to move it out of her reach, having already told her off a few times now for throwing things out of the cart when she got her little hands on them, finding it endlessly amusing.
"a beautiful name." eli complimented as you forced a smile and nodded, not quite sure where to go from here. "how is school? you would have graduated, no?" eli asked as you racked your brain for a way to wrap this up as politely and quickly as possible.
"school did not work out...as i had hoped." you kept your answer short as eli nodded, picking up on your nervous energy and sending you a kind smile. "well it was nice seeing you, look after yourself." the woman urged as you returned the sentiment, ready to turn around and leave this all behind.
but you couldn't, and before you could stop yourself the words came tumbling right out of your mouth like they had their own brain.
"how is she?"
eli paused, turning back around as regret flooded your body and your knuckles turned white from how hard you were gripping the bar of the shopping cart, posie babbling away to herself behind you.
"she is good." eli spoke softly as you nodded, knowing really it wasn't any of your business how your ex was after nearly four years had passed since the two of you spoke, but despite that alexia had always and forever lingered in the back of your mind.
"good, that is good." you swallowed, nodding and forcing out a goodbye as pleasant as you could as you turned your back to her and started to walk away.
"mija?" you turned one last time, posie gripping onto your finger as she tried to twist off one of your rings no doubt to probably put in her mouth, eli's eyes locked with yours.
"it has been years, time to forgive yourself." and with that, she was gone.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
part two
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evilminji · 9 months
Text
You know what Damian deserves?
A Grand Chunibyo Epic Drama Romance of his very own. Something to REALLY make his parents wince and take a good, long look in the mirror. Because... YEP. Yep that's definitely Their Son all right.
They suddenly feel like they should apologize to several long suffering individuals.
Just?
Damian needs to meet a Fellow Dramatic, Too Serious, Feral Gremlin, "I AM The Heir Apparent! My Blood Is Mighty And My Heritage Noble!" Little NERD? Someone who matchs him, beat for beat, with all the flamboyant Stabby Drama and rooftop dramatic chase scenes of his parents but now?
With Ghost Powers!
Because she is a PRINCESS. In search of someone Worthy(tm) of her Hand(tm). Not because her DAD told her too, obviously, no no. She overheard some of the Ancients talking about how that's how THEY got married. And knows that princesses usually get spouses chosen for them. So SHES gonna chose!
Perfect plan.
And who BETTER? Then the Blood Son of... THE BAT*dramatic musical sting*! Prove yourself, Robin! *lunges with a blade!*
Obviously, love at first dramaticly back-lit monologs followed by sword fight and dramatic escape. She's a formidable opponent.
But? Who IS she? This dramatic Chunibyo WEEB of a child? She! Is Danny's SECOND Clone Daughter. It was discovered? The only way to truely, PERMANENTLY, stabilize Dani? Was to get cells from a stable Clone.
Meaning one that WASNT rapidly aged.
Danny was... conflicted. He was against creating a kid JUST for giving medical aid to his other kid. But? He WASN'T so against the idea of having a kid? Like... a baby. Doing Dad Stuff. Cause... cause he wasn't 14 anymore. He's just graduated college. Has a stable job.
Dani suggested they go for it. But only if they were sure it wouldn't hurt the kiddo.
And it didnt!
She was and is PERFECT. The light of their lives. A delightfully ghost raised little Stabby Feral Honey Badger Gremlin of a young lady! But she's ALSO? Missing! And Danny, king of the Infinte Realms, is Losing His SHIT.
WHERE IS HIS BABY!?
Dramaticly martial arts fighting in the rain, DUH dad! She has to defeat the boy she likes, drop a symbolic gift at his feet, then leave with a cryptic but Cool And Meaningful Statement! You wouldn't GET IT, you're so OLD!
Dick blames Bruce for this. You see this? Do you Bruce? This is YOUR genetics at play! You added AL GHUL DRAMA to your nonsense and now he's discovered dating!! Look at him! He's pining! Dramaticly training in early hours! He's gotten JON involved!
Just? Let JLA Dark have FUN for once. Let them see THE princess of basicly EVERYTHING... harrasing Batman... by trying to date his obviously willing son... and just go "Read at 12:37" sorry Bruce! Looks like they're out of the office! Doing.... uuuuh.... MAGIC STUFF *sounds of popcorn being popped* YEP! Maaaagic! He he he >:D
@lolottes @ailithnight @nerdpoe @hdgnj @hypewinter @mutable-manifestation
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badbtssmut · 7 months
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OC sitting between jungkooks legs after a long day and jungkook playing video games, suddenly the game controller touch’s the tip of her clit and vibrates and oc gets wet. Jungkook finds out and asks her to ride him if she needs a release. Help yourself situation.
You knew you should probably tell your boyfriend to move his game controller, but you didn’t want the nice vibrations to stop buzzing against your clit.
It was a rare afternoon that the two of you had free to spend together, but it wasn't unusual for your boyfriend to fill the time with his video games. You didn’t mind, he still made you feel involved, asking you silly little questions like which direction he should go to now, or what thing he should buy at the shop.
You knew he wasn’t actually looking for advice, and he just liked involving you in it, which made you happy.
You let a moan slip out, hoping he didn't notice.
Jungkook paused his game and looked down at you, eyebrow raised, "Do you need something?"
He always knew when something was up.
"No," you said innocently, but the buzzing of the game controller was becoming more and more intense and it felt so good.
"Are you sure? I'm getting the feeling you're a little turned on right now. Are you wet babe?”
You bit your lip and looked down, you knew that would give you away, but he had you. The vibrations were starting to make you soaking wet.
He took the controller and pulled it away from you, leaving you desperate.
“Baby, if you need it, you can always use it, my cock is all yours, you know that." Jungkook assured you, pulling you into a hug. “Need to ride it?”
You nodded. “Yes, I want it.”
Your boyfriend smiled and put the controller down on the table next to the couch. He unbuttoned his jeans and pulled them down with his boxers, his hard cock springing up.
You pulled down your panties, dropping them on the floor, before you got comfy on his lap. Jungkook held onto his cock as you pushed yourself down on it, a whimper escaping your lips as you slowly took him all in.
Jungkook started rubbing his hands against your back as you adjusted to his size, letting you take control at your own pace.
You rocked back and forth, moaning as his thick length brushed against your g-spot over and over. It was so good, having him inside you, you almost couldn’t stand it.
"Feels good, right baby?" He asked, feeling prideful at how quickly you were falling apart on his cock.
“Mm, yes, feels so good, just what I needed, you feel so big in me, Koo."
"It's all for you baby girl, this cock belongs to you, use it." He assured you.
"Mmm." You closed your eyes, resting your palms on his knees as you continued to ride it, while Jungkook picked up the game again.
His cock was so nice and thick, and the way it was hitting your spot was so fucking perfect.
The feeling was so overwhelming, but the fact that your boyfriend was playing his game like it was nothing was turning you on even more. You got greedier and moved your hips faster, chasing your orgasm, wanting to get off. You could feel his precum dripping out of you, making everything wet and slick.
You weren’t sure how long you were riding him for, but your release came far too soon, and your body trembled as you came, before you collapsed against him.
“Better?” He whispered before kissing your cheek.
“Better.”
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itneverendshere · 1 month
Text
played me like a clarinet - rafe cameron
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request: "Desperately-on my knees-begging for a ''She's all that'' from 1999, with Popular Rafe x Reader. Ooouff, and you want that soul crushing heartbreak when she finds out about the bet he had made"
pairing: rafe x smart!nerdy!reader
warnings: angst <3; VERY LONG
wrote this listening to roses <3
Rafe Cameron held grudges better than anyone and his ex was about to witness exactly that. 
Fucking Jessica Green liked to think of herself as the queen of their university, the epitome of beauty and popularity. Some real high school bullshit he only fed because he liked her. And then, she went and dumped him for none other than Tyler West, the star player of his rival basketball team. Technically, she cheated on him, sneaking around with that piece of shit behind his back. 
The humiliation was killing him. 
Rafe wasn't one to take such things lying down; he wanted revenge, and he wanted it badly. He wanted to ruin her life. It wasn’t just enough to ruin her reputation—he wanted to hit her where it hurt the most. And what would hurt more than being replaced? Not just by any girl, but by someone who was everything she wasn’t. It was a genius idea, really. To prove that some loser could easily take her place, with a little help of course.
And that’s when he noticed you.
Kelce pointed you out actually, when they were six beers in and too fucking drunk to think clearly. But it was still a good choice.
You were the complete opposite of his ex, blending into the crowds like it was your superpower. He watched you for an entire hour at the party. You didn’t utter a single word the entire time you were there, only nursing your drink and listening to the other girls on the cheerleading squad speak.
Hell, he didn’t even know you were a cheerleader until that night. 
Were you always there? How had he never noticed you before? It was hard to remember when all he focused on up until then was Jessica. 
You were practically invisible in comparison to her, always on the sidelines, blending into the background. 
You were perfect.
If he could take this overlooked, nerdy girl and turn her into the new queen of the university, it would be the ultimate blow to Jessica's ego. It would prove that she wasn’t as irreplaceable as she thought. 
“You really gonna do it?”
He didn’t take his eyes off you, “Oh yeah. ‘M doing it.”
“Nahh, there’s no way you’re pulling this off.”
Rafe leaned back in his chair, a cocky grin tugging at the corner of his mouth. Kelce’s skepticism was exactly what he expected, and honestly, it made the challenge even sweeter.
 “You think so?” he said, his tone light but with an edge of determination. “Watch me.”
Kelce, always the instigator, leaned forward with a smirk. “Come on, Cameron. You really think you can turn that quiet little thing into the next Jessica? She’s cute, I guess, in that nerdy way, but she’s not queen material.”
Rafe’s eyes narrowed slightly, but he kept his cool. “She’s got potential,” he said confidently. “Just needs someone to show her how to use it.”
Topper laughed, shaking his head. “You’re insane. This isn’t some movie where the shy girl takes off her glasses and suddenly she’s hot. Jessica had something that can’t be taught.”
“That’s where you’re wrong,” Rafe pointed out, “It’s all about confidence man. Jessica wasn’t born the way she is now. She learned how to act the part, and I can do the same with her.”
Like a school project, he thought to himself. That’s all you were. 
Kelce took a swig of his drink, clearly enjoying where the conversation was going. “Alright, I’ll bite. How much time are we talking here? Because she’s got a long way to go, my guy.”
Rafe tilted his head, considering. “Give me two months. By the end of it, she’ll be turning heads. Maybe even more.”
Topper snorted, setting his drink down with a thunk. “Two months? No way. I’ll bet you a grand you can’t pull it off.”
Kelce laughed, clapping his hands together. “Oh, this is gonna be good. I’m in. A grand says you can’t turn her into the hottest girl in school.”
Rafe’s eyes glinted with determination. “You’re on,” he said, without hesitation. “In a month or two, you’ll be handing me that fucking cash, and she’ll be the one everyone’s talking about. Looking all pretty in my arms.”
Kelce raised his glass. “To Rafe and his miracle project. This is gonna be fun to watch.”
Topper shook his head again, still grinning as he clinked his glass against Kelce’s. “Here’s to you wasting a month of your life on a lost cause.”
He clinked his glass with theirs, the bet sealed. 
“You better start saving up.”
This plan was flawless. 
It was so good that even in his drunken haze, he could see how perfectly it would play out. The first step was simple: get close to you. Make you feel special, noticed, like you were someone who mattered. Rafe knew how to charm people; it was practically second nature. And with Jessica, it had been easy—too easy. She’d fallen for his looks, his confidence, his golden boy appeal. 
The next day, he started showing up at places he knew you’d be. The library, the campus coffee shop, even lingering around after cheerleading practice. At first, he didn’t approach you, just observed. 
He had to figure out how to crack the code, how to make you see him without scaring you off. It took a week before he made his first move.
You were sitting alone in the library, surrounded by textbooks and notes. He casually strolled up, pretending to be looking for a book on the same shelf. “Hey,” he said, glancing down at you with a disarming smile. “You’re in my econ class, right? Mind if I sit here?”
You looked up, a little startled, but nodded, shifting your books to make room for him. You probably couldn’t believe that someone like Rafe Cameron was talking to you, let alone sitting with you. But that was the whole point, wasn’t it? To make you feel special, to pull you out of your shell and into his orbit.
He knew he still had to tread carefully. The wrong move could send you running, and he couldn’t afford that.
You kept your eyes down, focused on your notes. He noticed the way your hand shook slightly when you turned the page. Rafe leaned in a little closer, just enough to make his presence known without crowding you.
“You always this buried in work?” he asked casually, pulling out a notebook and flipping it open.
You glanced up, surprised he was still there. “I guess. I have a lot to catch up on.”
He chuckled, leaning back in his chair. “I hear you. Econ’s been kicking my ass this semester. You doing okay in it?”
He could tell you were surprised. Probably didn't expect him to know you shared the same class. And he didn't, until last week.
You hesitated, then nodded. “Yeah, it’s… fine. Just a lot of material.”
“Tell me about it,” he said, rolling his eyes dramatically. “I’ve been trying to wrap my head around these supply and demand curves for days. You think the professor’s trying to torture us?”
You smiled faintly, a small victory in his book. “Maybe. It’s kind of her thing.”
Rafe grinned, pleased that he got a reaction out of you. “You mind if I study with you? Might help to bounce some ideas off each other.”
You blinked, clearly taken aback by his request. “Um, sure. I mean, if you want.”
“Definitely,” he replied smoothly. “You seem like you actually know what’s going on, unlike me.”
He spent the next hour working alongside you, occasionally asking questions, but mostly just being there. He didn’t push, didn’t try too hard. He wanted you to get comfortable with him, to see him as someone you could rely on.
“I’m sorry about Jessica.”
The way you blurted the words out told him you hadn’t meant to say it. 
Rafe froze, his grip tightening on the pen in his hand. He could feel the familiar anger bubbling up, but he forced it down, keeping his expression calm. This was exactly what he didn’t want—Jessica’s name being brought up, especially by you.
But he couldn’t let you see that. 
He looked at you, feigning surprise with a bit of sadness, as if Jessica was just a painful memory he was trying to move past. “Oh,” he said softly, his voice controlled and measured. “You know about that?”
You nodded, eyes wide and apologetic, clearly regretting bringing it up. “Yeah… I mean, it’s all over campus, right? The girls were talking about it in the locker room. I just—I didn’t mean to…I’m sorry.”
Rafe forced a smile, as if he was grateful for your concern. He leaned back in his chair, letting out a small sigh as if he was relieved to talk about it, even though it was the last thing he wanted to do. “It’s okay,” he said, his tone gentle. “I guess it’s just one of those things, y’know? We were together for a while, and it sucked when it ended.”
You looked down at your notes, fidgeting with the corner of a page. 
“She shouldn’t have done that to you.”
He let out a dry laugh, the bitterness threatening to seep through, but he quickly disguised it as a rueful chuckle. “Yeah, well, people do shitty things sometimes. Guess it just wasn’t meant to be.”
He noticed the way you seemed to relax as if you were relieved that he wasn’t angry. He needed to shift the conversation away from Jessica, and back to you, where it should be. “But hey,” he said, his voice brightening as if he was genuinely trying to shake off the bad memories, “Everything happens for a reason right?"
You blinked, caught off guard by the sudden attention. “Right."
He leaned forward slightly, his gaze locking onto yours. “You’re not like everyone else around here. You’re real, y’know? Genuine. I like that.”
Bullshit. But he could see the effect his words had on you. Easy.
Your cheeks flushed slightly, and you looked away, a small, shy smile playing on your lips. “I’m just…here.”
Rafe shook his head, his smile softening, taking on a more sincere tone. “I’m glad I’m getting the chance to see that.”
You didn’t say anything for a moment, just looked at him with those wide eyes, as if you were trying to figure him out. Rafe held your gaze, letting the silence stretch just long enough to make the moment feel meaningful, even though he knew exactly what he was doing. He was reeling you in, one calculated move at a time.
Finally, you nodded, lips twitching, “Thanks, Rafe."
Oh, you were too perfect for this.
He grinned, leaning back in his chair as if the conversation had lightened his mood.
 “Anytime."
It was a perfect conversation, one that made you feel like he was letting you in on something personal, something real. And from the look on your face, it worked.
But inside, Rafe was fuming. Jessica had managed to worm her way into his head again, even indirectly. It was a reminder of why he was doing this in the first place. 
He plastered on another smile, picking up his pen and tapping it lightly against his notebook. “So,” he said, steering the conversation back to safer waters, “You think you can help me with this econ stuff? Because I’m pretty sure I’m doomed without you.”
You laughed, the tension from earlier completely dissipating. “Yeah, I think I can manage that.”
As you both turned your attention back to your notes, Rafe felt a sense of satisfaction. He was winning that bet on way or another. 
Over the next few weeks, Rafe made sure to stick to his plan. Slowly but surely, he worked his way into your life. He was always around, ready with a casual compliment or a small gesture that made you feel noticed, special. He’d walk you to class, carry your books, and offer to study with you whenever he had the chance. He knew how to play the long game, and with every passing day, you were warming up to him more and more.
He made sure to steer clear of anything that might remind you of Jessica or his past. Instead, he focused on building up your confidence, subtly encouraging you to step out of your comfort zone. 
He’d invite you to parties, introducing you to his friends, and before long, you were starting to come out of your shell. You even started to dress a little differently—nothing too drastic, but enough to catch people’s attention. The change was gradual, but it was happening, and Rafe could see it.
The first party he invited you to was at a swanky off-campus house, the kind of place you’d only ever heard about but never had the nerve to attend. He had that effect on you—made you feel like maybe, just maybe, you belonged in a world that had always seemed so out of reach. 
“Come on, it’ll be fun,” Rafe said, his voice smooth as silk. You hesitated, biting your lip, feeling out of place just imagining yourself in his world.
“I don’t know… I’m not really into parties,” you admitted.
Rafe grinned, a playful glint in his eyes. “I promise I won’t let anything bad happen. Just give it a try, for me?”
His gaze was so earnest, so convincing, that you found yourself nodding. “Okay. I guess I could give it a shot.”
The first party was initially awkward—loud music, people you didn’t know, and a social scene that felt worlds away from where you belonged. 
But Rafe stayed close. 
The moment you walked in, the loud music and flashing lights overwhelmed your senses. You clung a little closer to him, who noticed and shot you a reassuring smile, his hand resting on the small of your back as he guided you through the crowd. He was different tonight—more confident, more assertive. 
“Relax,” he whispered in your ear, his breath warm against your skin. “You’re with me. Have some fun, sweets.”
You nodded, trying to loosen up, but the eyes on you—on both of you—were hard to ignore. People were noticing. Whispering. It was exactly what Rafe wanted.
He led you to where Kelce and Topper were already posted up, drinks in hand. The second they saw you, their eyebrows shot up, but they quickly masked their surprise with easy smiles. Rafe kept you close as he greeted them, his hand never leaving your back.
“Guys, this is her,” Rafe said, his tone casual but with a hint of pride. “Told you I’d get her to come out with us.”
Kelce looked you up and down, his smirk growing. “Well, well, Cameron. Didn’t think you had it in you.”
Topper raised his drink in your direction, his smile more genuine. “Nice to meet you. Rafe’s been talking you up.”
You managed a small chuckle, feeling the weight of their attention on you. “Nice to meet you too.”
Rafe gave your shoulder a gentle squeeze. “Why don’t you grab a drink? I’ll be right here.”
You nodded, grateful for the brief escape, and headed towards the makeshift bar in the kitchen. As soon as you were out of earshot, the easygoing demeanor Rafe had been maintaining with you slipped away, replaced by something more calculating as he turned back to his friends.
“So?” Kelce asked, “How’s the project going?”
Rafe shrugged, taking a sip of his drink. “Better than expected. She’s starting to come out of her shell. Still got a long way to go, but I’d say we’re on track.”
Topper leaned against the counter, his gaze following you as you picked out a drink. “She seems… nice. You sure you want to go through with this, man?”
Rafe shot him a look, his expression hardening. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Topper shrugged. “Just saying. She doesn’t seem like the type who’s cut out for this crowd. Might be too sweet for what you’ve got planned.”
Kelce chuckled, shaking his head. “She’s sweet, alright. But that’s the whole point, isn’t it? She’s not Jessica. And if he pulls this off, it’s gonna be legendary.”
Rafe’s lips curled into a smirk. “Exactly. She’s perfect for this.”
He said it with confidence, but there was something else in his eyes—something he quickly buried as he watched you make your way back with a drink in hand.
When you returned to the group, his expression softened instantly. He slipped back into the charming, attentive guy he’d been playing for you all night.
“Got something good?” he asked, nodding towards your drink.
You giggled, holding up your cup. “Just punch. Thought I’d start slow.”
He snorted, nodding approvingly. “Smart move. Don’t let these guys talk you into anything too crazy.”
The night went on like that, Rafe playing the perfect gentleman, always by your side, making sure you were comfortable, that you were enjoying yourself. He introduced you to more people, his arm around your shoulders, subtly guiding you through the social maze with ease. And every time you excused yourself—whether to grab another drink or use the restroom—his demeanor shifted. The smile would slip, and he’d share knowing looks with his friends, a silent acknowledgment of the game they were playing.
But you didn’t see any of that. 
You saw the guy who made you feel like you were finally part of something bigger, like you belonged. And as the night went on, you found yourself relaxing more, laughing, talking, feeling the walls you’d built around yourself start to come down.
Rafe noticed, of course. That was the whole point. He’d spent weeks laying the groundwork, and tonight was just the beginning. He was getting what he wanted.
But as he watched you laugh at something Kelce said, genuinely enjoying yourself, he felt a pang of something unfamiliar. It was brief, fleeting, but it was there. Maybe it was guilt. Maybe it was something else. He quickly pushed it aside, reminding himself why he was doing this.
He knew better than to get too comfortable. 
He knew his ex wouldn’t stay out of his business forever, and sure enough, she confronted him right before class the next day.
“Rafe, can we talk?”
He didn’t look at her right away, instead shoving his notebook into his bag as if she wasn’t even worth the effort. But he couldn’t resist; he turned to her, keeping his expression neutral. “What’s up?”
Jessica glanced around, making sure no one was listening, before stepping closer to him. Her voice was low, almost pleading. “What the fuck are you doing?”
Rafe raised an eyebrow, playing dumb. “What do you mean?”
She huffed in frustration, clearly not in the mood for games. “Don’t act like you don’t know. She’s a nice girl, I know she’s not your type.”
Rafe couldn’t help the smirk that tugged at his lips. “Jealous?
Jessica’s eyes flashed with anger, but there was something else there too—guilt. 
“No. You’re just going to use her to get back at me? That’s not fair. She doesn’t deserve that.”
He leaned in closer, his smirk turning cold. “You didn’t think about fairness when you were sneaking around with Tyler, did you? Why should I care about what she deserves?”
"Rafe."
"You only care about your precious reputation, so shut the fuck up."
Jessica flinched, “I’m sorry, okay? I shouldn’t have done what I did. But I fell in love with Tyler. I’m not sorry about that.”
“Do you even realize what you did to me?” The memory of the last time he’d trusted her flashed before his eyes—the way she’d smiled at him. The same smile she had for someone else, “You don’t get to apologize now. You don’t get to tell me what’s fair.”
Jessica’s expression softened, her voice dropping to a near whisper. “I’m not saying this for me. I’m saying it for her."
"Right, because you care so much about other people, huh?"
"You're being difficult for no reason."
Rafe clenched his jaw, every word she said feeling like a knife twisting in his gut. He wanted to lash out, to tell her that she didn’t get to play the moral high ground after everything she’d done. But instead, he just stared at her, his eyes hard and cold.
“Stay out of it, Jess” he said finally, his voice low and dangerous. “And keep your fucking mouth shut.”
She sighed, her shoulders slumping slightly as if she’d been expecting this. “Just think about it before you do something stupid."
Without another word, Jessica turned and walked away, leaving Rafe standing there, seething with anger. He watched her go, his fists clenching and unclenching at his sides. Of course, she would act like she gave a shit about you the moment he’s attention shifted from her. She had no right to lecture him, no right to tell him what to do.
This was about revenge, about proving a point. You were just a means to an end, nothing more.
But you made it so fucking hard for him to keep his head in the game. 
Every time you smiled at him, every time you thanked him for something small, it chipped away at the cold resolve he had built up inside. He told himself it was just part of the plan, that getting close to you was necessary for the outcome he wanted. But the more time he spent with you, the more he realized that he was enjoying himself. 
He didn't even have to put in the effort to influence you. You began to speak up in class, even crack jokes with the other girls on the cheerleading squad. The transformation was happening right before his eyes, just like he’d planned. But instead of feeling satisfied, there was a knot of guilt forming in his stomach. You were changing, yes, but it wasn’t just on the outside. You were starting to trust him, to look at him like he was more than just some popular guy who was doing you a favor. You were starting to care, and that terrified him.
One night, after another party where you had danced a little closer, laughed a little louder, Rafe walked you back to your dorm. The campus was quiet, the stars above bright against the inky sky. You were buzzing with the energy of the night, still talking animatedly about how much fun you’d had. The sound of your laughter, the way your eyes lit up—it caught him off guard.
“Thanks for inviting me, Rafe. I never thought I’d actually enjoy these things, but you make it… I don’t know, easier, I guess.”
Rafe smiled down at you, trying to ignore the way his heart twisted at your words. 
“I’m glad sweets. You deserve to have fun.”
You looked up at him, your eyes softening. “I don’t think I’ve ever thanked you properly. For everything. You didn’t have to be this nice to me.”
For a split second, he saw you. Not as a means to an end, but as someone he genuinely cared about.
His expression faltered for a moment before he quickly recovered. “It’s no big deal. Really.”
But it was a big deal, and you both knew it.
You had gone from barely existing on the social radar to being someone everyone noticed, someone everyone wanted to be around. And it was all because of him. Rafe had given you that, but he knew he was taking something from you too—your innocence, your trust.
He walked you to your door, his usual confidence wavering as you turned to face him. There was something different in your gaze tonight, something that made his breath catch in his throat.
“Rafe… I’ve been meaning to ask you something,” you began, your voice a little hesitant.
He forced himself to stay calm, even though his heart was pounding in his chest. “Yeah? What’s up?”
You looked down, fiddling with the hem of your top before meeting his eyes again. “Why did you start talking to me? I mean, really. Was it because you felt sorry for me? Or… or something else?”
Rafe’s mind raced, trying to find the right words, the ones that wouldn’t hurt you. He could lie, like he’d been doing all along, or he could tell you the truth, risk everything.
But before he could answer, you continued, your voice softer now. “Because… I’m glad you did. Whatever the reason was. I’ve never felt this… this good about myself. And it’s because of you.”
Rafe swallowed hard, his throat suddenly dry.
Fuck. He’d never expected this, never thought that you would be the one to make him feel something real, something that wasn’t just part of his stupid revenge plan.
He’d thought he could control this, control you, but it was slipping through his fingers. He stepped closer to you, his hand reaching out to gently brush a strand of hair behind your ear.
“You’ve always been amazing,” he said quietly, his voice hoarse. “I just… I just helped you see it.”
You grinned up at him, your eyes shining with gratitud. It was too much, too real, and Rafe could feel the walls he’d carefully constructed around his heart starting to crumble. You were looking at him like he was someone worth caring about, and for the first time, he felt like he was the one being played.
He couldn’t let you get any closer. If you did, he wouldn’t be able to follow through with his plan.
But pushing you away now, after all the effort he’d put in, would raise too many questions. So, he did the only thing he could think of—he leaned down and kissed you.
It was gentle at first, testing the waters, but when you didn’t pull away, he deepened it, his hand cradling the back of your head as if you were something fragile. Your lips were soft against his, and for a moment, Rafe let himself forget why he was doing this. He let himself enjoy the warmth of your body pressed against his, the way you sighed softly into his mouth.
But then, just as quickly as it started, he pulled back.
The look in your eyes nearly undid him. There was so much trust, so much hope, and it made him want to break something, anything, just to stop feeling the way he did.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he murmured, his voice rough, as if the kiss had taken something out of him.
You nodded, still dazed, a small smile playing on your lips. “Yeah, tomorrow.”
This was wrong. 
He knew it was wrong. But in that moment, with the way you were looking at him, he couldn’t bring himself to care. He watched you go, waiting until you disappeared into your dorm before he let out a shaky breath.
What the fuck was he doing? He couldn’t afford to second-guess himself now. Not when he was so close to winning and yet, he couldn’t help but feel that he was the one who was losing.
Later that night, as he lay in bed staring at the ceiling, Jessica’s words mocked him.
“I’m sorry okay? I shouldn’t have done what I did. But I fell in love with Tyler. I’m not sorry about that.”
He had scoffed at her then, dismissed her excuses as pathetic attempts to justify her shitty behavior.
But now, lying there alone, he couldn’t help but wonder if he was any different. He didn’t plan on feeling anything real for you. This was supposed to be a game, a way to hurt Jessica the way she hurt him. But somewhere along the line, things had changed.
How could he let this happen? How could he, of all people, start to care? He was supposed to be in control, supposed to be the one pulling the strings, not getting tangled in them.
And yet, the memory of your pretty face, the sound of your laugh, the warmth in your eyes—these were the things that lingered in his mind, all the damn time. 
“Fuck,” he muttered to himself, rolling over and burying his face in his pillow.
The anger and bitterness that had fueled him for weeks were still there, but they were being drowned out by something else—you.
Rafe’s resolve had been wavering for days, but he pushed the guilt aside as he drove to campus the next morning. He was picking you up before class, something that had become a bit of a routine. It was a small gesture, but one that made you smile every time, and Rafe had to admit, he looked forward to seeing that smile.
When he pulled up to your dorm, you were already waiting outside, your bag slung over your shoulder. You looked different from when he first met you—still shy, but with a confidence that hadn’t been there before. It was subtle, but Rafe noticed. 
He noticed everything about you these days.
“Hey,” you said as you slid into the passenger seat, giving him that small smile that always made his chest tighten a little. “Thanks for picking me up.”
“Anytime,” he replied smoothly, shifting the car into gear. “Ready for another day of fun and learning?”
You rolled your eyes playfully, but there was a lightness in your expression that hadn’t been there a month ago. “If by fun, you mean trying not to fall asleep in econ, then yeah, totally ready.”
He chuckled, glancing over at you as he pulled onto the road. “I’m starting to think you secretly enjoy econ. You’re just trying to maintain your cool, indifferent persona.”
You laughed, the sound genuine and free, and Rafe felt that unfamiliar pang in his chest again.
“Yeah, that’s me. The cool, indifferent econ nerd.”
“See? I knew it,” Rafe teased, but there was an edge of something else in his voice, something he couldn’t quite shake.
The drive to campus was easy, filled with light conversation and the comfortable silence that had developed between you two. When you arrived, he parked in his usual spot, but instead of getting out right away, you turned to him, your expression suddenly serious.
“Rafe, can I ask you something?”
He froze for a split second, his mind racing. Had you figured it out? Did you know about the bet? But he quickly forced a casual smile, nodding.
“Sure sweets, what’s up?”
You hesitated, chewing on your lower lip, a habit he’d noticed you had when you were nervous.
“Why did you kiss me?”
Rafe’s heart pounded in his chest. This was the moment he’d been dreading—the moment when you’d start questioning everything. He couldn’t afford to slip up now.
“Why not?” he said, his tone light, but there was a hint of sincerity that even he didn’t expect. “I like you. I like being around you.”
You looked at him, your eyes searching his, trying to find the truth in his words. Rafe held your gaze, doing his best to keep his expression open and honest. After a moment, you nodded, as if you’d decided to believe him.
“Okay,” you said. “I just... I didn’t want to assume, y’know? It’s just... new.”
“Good new, though, right?”
“Yeah,” you admitted, “Good new.”
The rest of the day passed in a blur, with classes, coffee breaks, and more of Rafe’s effortless charm. But that moment in the car stuck with him. You were starting to get closer, to trust him, and every time you did, the guilt fucked with his head a little more. 
Later that day, when the two of you met up for a late lunch, he noticed the way you had begun to attract attention from others. Some guys glanced your way, clearly noticing the changes in you, and a few girls even stopped to chat with you—a far cry from the shy girl he’d first approached in the library.
As you two sat down at a table outside the campus cafe, he saw the way your eyes lit up when you spotted someone approaching. It was Leila, a girl from your cheer squad. She waved and came over, sitting down.
“Hey, you two,” she greeted, her eyes flicking between you and Rafe. “Mind if I join?”
“Sure,” you said, scooting over to make room for her. He nodded, keeping his expression neutral, but there was something about the way Leila looked at you that put him on edge.
The conversation flowed easily, with her complimenting you on something you’d done at practice the other day, and you blushing at the praise.
Rafe watched, a small smile on his face, but his mind was elsewhere. He could see how much you were changing, how you were starting to come into your own, and it was becoming harder and harder to justify what he was doing.
When Leila left after a few minutes, you turned to Rafe with a grin. “She’s nice. I didn’t think she even noticed me before.”
“She notices you now,” Rafe replied, his voice quieter than usual.
You looked at him, your smile fading slightly. “Is something wrong?”
Rafe hesitated for a moment, then shook his head. “No, nothing. Just... thinking.”
“About what?”
He leaned back in his chair. “About how you’re starting to steal everyone’s attention here. What am I gonna do when you’re the most popular one around here?”
You laughed, shaking your head. “I don’t think that’s gonna happen anytime soon.”
Rafe smiled back, but the guilt was back, stronger than ever. You were starting to trust him, to believe in the friendship he was offering, and it was killing him.
As the afternoon wore on, he found himself more and more distracted by his thoughts. He needed to talk to someone about it, someone who knew the score.
Later that evening, after dropping you off at your dorm, he called Kelce. The phone rang a few times before his friend picked up, sounding slightly out of breath.
“Yo, Cameron. What’s up?”
Rafe took a deep breath, leaning against the side of his car. “I need to talk, man. About the bet.”
Kelce laughed, clearly not picking up on the seriousness in Rafe’s voice. “What, you already feeling bad for her? Didn’t think you’d go soft so fast.”
Rafe frowned, running a hand through his hair. “It’s not that. It’s just... I didn’t think it’d be like this. She’s... she’s actually really nice, Kelce. Like, genuinely nice.”
There was a pause on the other end of the line before Kelce responded, his tone more serious.
“Dude, we all knew she was nice. That’s what makes this so good. You’re flipping the script. Just remember why you’re doing it.”
Rafe let out a frustrated sigh. “I know, but... She trusts me."
And I trust her, he wanted to add, but didn't.
“Look, Rafe, you’re in too deep to back out now. If you quit, she’ll still get hurt, and you’ll look like a fucking idiot. You gotta see this through. Just... keep your eye on the prize, okay? It’s not about her, it’s about Jessica.”
Rafe nodded, even though Kelce couldn’t see him. “Yeah... yeah, you’re right. I just needed to clear my head.”
“Good,” Kelce said. “Now go get some sleep or something. We’ve got a party this weekend, and I wanna see you back on your game.”
“Yeah, sure. Thanks, man.”
By Friday, the campus was buzzing with weekend plans, and you were in a good mood, chatting excitedly about some party that night. You two were in the cafeteria, grabbing lunch, when it happened.
You were waiting in line for food, and Rafe had stepped aside to check his phone. When he glanced up, he saw a guy approaching you—a guy he recognized from the football team. A sleazy bastard.
The guy leaned in, flashing you a charming smirk, clearly trying to flirt. He wanted to pummel his face to the wall. Rafe watched from a distance as the guy made you laugh, his hand casually resting on the counter next to yours. Too fucking close.
The sight made something twist in his chest, something dark and possessive that he hadn’t expected. He'd never felt like this before. His grip tightened around his phone as he watched, his jaw clenching.
You seemed flattered but a little uncomfortable, your smile not quite reaching your eyes. Rafe could tell you weren’t used to this kind of attention, and it made him feel something primal, something that burned hotter than the guilt. He wanted to go over there, to tell that guy to back the fuck off, but he didn’t. Instead, he stood there, seething, trying to keep his cool.
Scaring you away was the last thing he wanted to do.
When the guy finally walked away, you looked relieved, but Rafe was already moving. He crossed the cafeteria in quick strides, his eyes locked on you, his heart pounding. You spotted him coming and smiled, but it fell when you saw the look on his face.
“Rafe, what’s—”
He didn’t let you finish. Before you could say another word, he was right in front of you, his hand cupping your face as he pulled you toward him.
And then he kissed you.
It wasn’t like the kiss outsider your dorm. This was different. It was fierce, almost desperate as if he needed to prove something to himself, to you, and to everyone watching. His lips moved against yours with intensity, his other hand gripping your waist, pulling you closer. He didn’t care who was around, who was watching. 
All he cared about was you, right there, in his arms.
You froze for a second, caught off guard by the suddenness of it, but then you melted into him, your hands clutching at his shirt as you kissed him back with equal fervor. It was like all the tension, all the confusion, everything that had been building between you two, finally snapped.
Rafe deepened the kiss, his tongue sliding against yours, claiming you in a way that left no room for doubt. His fingers tangled in your hair, and you let out a soft moan that only made him kiss you harder, his body pressing against yours like he couldn’t get enough.
People around you were definitely watching now, whispering, some even cheering, but Rafe didn’t care. He didn’t pull away until he was breathless, and even then, he stayed close, his forehead resting against yours, his breathing heavy. When he finally opened his eyes, he saw the way you were looking at him—dazed, flushed, your lips slightly swollen from the intensity of the kiss.
“What... what was that?” you asked, your voice shaky, your eyes searching his for answers.
Rafe knew he should say something, explain himself, but all he could think about was how much he wanted to kiss you again. Instead, he just shook his head slightly, a small smirk tugging at his lips.
“Just couldn’t help myself,” he murmured, his voice low and rough.
You blinked up at him, still trying to process what had just happened, but there was no mistaking the way your body was responding to him. 
He finally stepped back, but kept his hand on your waist, grounding you as he looked around. Sure enough, the guy from earlier was watching. 
Rafe caught his eye, giving him a look that said everything without words. She’s mine.
When he looked back at you, he saw the confusion in your eyes and something else—something that looked a lot like longing.
He knew he’d just crossed a line, again, but in that moment, he didn’t care. All he cared about was the way you felt in his arms, the way you looked at him like he was the only guy in the world.
“C’mon,” Rafe said, his voice softer now. “We’ve got class.”
You nodded, still a little dazed, and let him guide you out of the cafeteria, his hand never leaving yours. He was in deeper than ever, but he couldn’t bring himself to regret it. Not when you looked at him like that, not when his heart was pounding like this.
As you approached the building where your next class was, he stopped, turning to face you. He touched your cheek again, his thumb brushing against your skin, and you leaned into his touch.
“Rafe—”
“You’re my girl,” he whispered, his forehead pressing against yours again. “Okay?”
You nodded, your breath hitching as you looked up at him, your eyes wide and trusting. Rafe knew he was on the edge of something he couldn’t control, but as he leaned in for one more kiss, slow and tender this time, he realized he didn’t care.
“Rafe��” you began again, speaking against his lips. There was so much you wanted to say, so much you needed to understand about what you were, what you two were becoming. His thumb traced the curve of your jawline.
“You don’t have to say anything,” he whispered, his voice low, almost reverent. “I just… I need you to know that you mean something to me. This, us—"
“Okay.”
He was already in too deep.
And just like that, he got what he wanted. 
The next day, everything seemed to fall into place as if the universe has finally aligned for you. He asked you out, and just like that, you were together.
The next two months were a dream—utter bliss. You weren’t just happy; you were radiant. You’d become the most popular girl in school, and with him by your side, it felt like you were living in some sort of fairy tale. 
Every smile he gave you, every touch, every whispered confession of how perfect you were sent you soaring higher. He couldn’t get enough of you—your sweetness, your kindness, your genuine heart. It was as if he was falling more and more in love with you every single day. And you, you had never felt this alive.
But deep down, in a place he didn’t dare acknowledge, there was a shadow, a sliver of guilt that he pushed aside every time he looked into your trusting eyes.
He never officially ended the bet with Kelce and Topper. It was just a stupid game, something that seemed so insignificant compared to what he feels for you now. He told himself that he had forgotten about it, that it didn’t matter anymore.
After all, what you two had is real, right? And you, completely oblivious to the sinister origins of your relationship, continued to believe in the fairy tale.
Until it ended. 
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It’s after cheerleading practice, and you’re alone in the locker room, stuffing your things into your bag. The air is thick with the scent of sweat and body spray, the usual post-practice atmosphere, but there’s something different today—a tension you can’t quite place. 
As you’re zipping up your bag, you hear voices nearby, just around the corner. Leila and Jessica, their conversation low but unmistakable. You wouldn’t normally eavesdrop, but something about the tone of their voices makes you pause, your heart suddenly beating a little faster.
"You were right," Leila says, her voice edged with a cruel satisfaction. "About your gut feeling with Rafe and his new girl."
Oh.
Jessica sounds tired, almost defeated. "What do you mean?"
Leila sighs, a dark amusement in her tone. "Kelce spilled everything when we hooked up last week. He was too high to keep his mouth shut. Rafe’s been playing her this whole time, using her to mess with you. It was all a bet."
The words hit you like a punch to the gut. Your breath catches in your throat, and for a moment, you can’t move, can’t think. The room spins around you, the ground shifting beneath your feet.
No. No, this can’t be real.
Leila’s voice continues, completely unaware of the devastation she’s causing. "It's so fucked up. She has no idea. She’s out there thinking he’s her Prince Charming, and all along it was just some sick game."
Jessica doesn’t say anything, but you can’t bear to hear more. You feel like you’re suffocating, your chest tightening as panic floods your system.
Before you know it, you’re running—out of the locker room, down the hall, anywhere to get away from those words, those horrible, soul-crushing words. Tears blur your vision as you stumble outside, gasping for air, for some kind of escape from the nightmare that’s suddenly become your reality.
The ache in your chest doesn’t fade as you bolt from the locker room, tears hot on your cheeks. You don’t know where you’re going, but you know you can’t stop moving. The hallways blur past you as you wipe at your eyes, struggling to catch your breath. Rage and heartbreak twist inside you like a knife, and before you know it, you find yourself standing outside the gym, where the sounds of basketball practice echo through the double doors.
You push through the doors without thinking, your heart pounding in your ears. The gym is full of movement—squeaking sneakers, the thud of the ball against the court, and the grunts of effort as the players practice their drills. But all of it fades into the background as soon as your eyes lock onto Rafe.
He’s in the middle of a play, dribbling the ball down the court with that intense focus you’ve always admired. For a moment, you hesitate, that familiar warmth of seeing him almost enough to make you stop. But then the memory of Leila’s words slams into you like a wave, and the anger surges back, drowning out everything else.
You storm across the gym, your footsteps heavy on the polished floor. Some of the players notice you, their eyes widening in surprise, but you don’t care. You’re beyond caring. The only thing that matters is confronting him, making him face what he’s done.
"Cameron!" you shout, your voice sharp, cutting through the noise of the practice.
He turns at the sound of your voice, surprise flashing across his face. The ball slips from his hands, bouncing away as the other players stop, confusion rippling through the group. You always call him by his name.
The coach starts to say something, but you barely hear him. All you can see is Rafe, standing there, looking at you with those eyes that you once thought held nothing but affection for you. 
Now, all you see is a liar.
“What’s wrong baby?” He jogs over to you, his brow furrowing.
You don’t answer immediately, your breath coming in ragged gasps as you try to hold yourself together.
But it’s impossible.
“Was I a bet?”
His expression changes from confusion to something closer to horror, his mouth opening as if to say something, but nothing comes out. The sound of your voice, trembling with disbelief and pain, seems to have stunned him into silence.
For a moment, you just stare at each other. You want him to deny it, to laugh and tell you it’s all some terrible misunderstanding. But deep down, you already know the truth. You saw it in his eyes the second he turned to face you, that flicker of guilt, that flash of something wildly desperate.
He reaches for you, his voice breaking. "Baby, wait, let me explain—”
“Was I a fucking bet?” you repeat, your voice louder this time, edged with a desperate, frantic energy that you can’t control. You take a step back as he tries to get closer, every muscle in your body screaming to get away from him, to escape the unbearable weight of the truth.
His eyes are pleading, searching yours for something, anything that might make this easier, but there’s nothing. No words, no excuses that can make this hurt any less.
“It started as a bet,” he admits, his voice barely above a whisper, but to you, it’s as loud as a gunshot. “But it’s not like that, I swear. I—”
“What the hell is wrong with you?!”
He flinches at your words, pain flashing across his face, but you can’t stop. It’s like all the anger, all the heartbreak, all the humiliation you’ve been choking down is pouring out of you in a torrent, and you don’t have the strength to hold it back. You can see the panic rising in him, the desperation as he realizes just how badly he’s messed up. He takes another step toward you, his hand reaching out, but you jerk away, 
“We’re done.”
“Please, just listen,” he pleads, his voice cracking.
“No.”
And with that, you leave. 
Rafe’s voice echoes behind you as you walk away, but you refuse to look back. The gym doors swing shut, muffling the sounds of the practice resuming, and you’re left in the eerily quiet hallway, your breath coming in ragged gasps. 
The locker room is cold and empty when you push open the door. The scent of body spray and sweat lingers in the air. You head straight to your locker again, hands trembling as you fumble with the lock, desperate to escape. But before you can get it open, the door swings wide behind you, and you know, without turning around, that he followed you.
“Go away,” you say, your voice barely holding steady.
“I can’t,” he says, his voice strained with desperation. “Not like this.”
You spin around, your eyes blazing with anger. “You don’t get to decide that. You used me! And for what? Some sick joke with your friends?”
He takes a step closer, his hands raised as if to placate you, but you back away, your heart pounding. “I know I messed up,” he says, his voice thick with regret. “I know I should’ve told you the truth, but I—”
“But you didn’t,” you cut him off, your voice rising. “You let me believe that you cared about me, that everything was real, and all the while it was just a game to you. You and your friends laughed in my face the entire time, didn’t you?”
“It wasn’t a game,” he insists, his voice cracking. “It wasn't supposed to be like this, okay? This wasn't the plan. I changed. Being with you... it was the only thing that felt real to me.”
You shake your head, tears welling up in your eyes. “I don’t believe you.” 
Rafe looks at you, his expression torn between guilt and desperation. 
“It wasn’t a joke. It started as a stupid bet, but I never expected to actually—” He broke off, running a hand through his hair in frustration. “I care about you. That’s real.”
For a moment, you see the boy who had made you feel special, who had made you believe in something more. But it's not enough.
“I don’t even know who you are."
You want to believe him, to take solace in the idea that some part of what you had was real, but you can't. You shake your head again, a sob choking you as you turn away from him, your back pressing against the cold metal of the locker.
“It isn’t supposed to hurt like this,” you whisper, more to yourself than to him. “It’s not supposed to feel like a knife in your chest.”
Rafe takes another step closer, “Please, sweetheart,” he murmurs, his voice breaking. “Just give me a chance to make this right.”
"You don’t get to have a chance. You don’t get to pretend this is some kind of love story. You lied to me. You used me.”
You look at him then, really look at him, and all you see is the boy who broke your heart. The boy who turned your world upside down with a single lie. You know that if you stay, if you let him talk, you might be tempted to forgive him. But you can’t. 
Not this time.
With a deep breath, you straighten up, wiping away the tears that have stained your cheeks. “I’m done.”
“Don’t say that,” he pleads, his voice thick with desperation.
But you’ve made up your mind. 
“I mean it. We’re done. I need you to stay away from me.”
The words hit him like a physical blow, and for a moment, he just stands there, staring at you as if he can’t believe what you’re saying.
But then he sees the resolve in your eyes, the finality in your tone, and he knows there’s no coming back from this.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers, his voice hoarse. “I’m so sorry.”
Without another word, you turn away from him, pushing past the locker room door and walking away. You hesitate for a split second. A small voice inside you screams to turn back, to give him one more chance, but then you imagine the laughter, the cruel satisfaction. 
The image of Rafe with his friends, laughing at your expense, sears itself into your mind. 
The door slams shut behind him, and he leans against it, his breath coming in short, ragged gasps. He doesn’t feel victorious. Instead, there’s a hollowness, a quiet whisper in the back of his mind that asks, “What now?” He clenches his fists, trying to silence it, but the emptiness remains.
This time, he doesn’t follow you. 
1K notes · View notes
lxkeee · 7 months
Text
TWO SIDES OF THE SAME COIN
-PART EIGHT
Pairing: Lucifer Morningstar x Seraphim Angel! Fem! Reader
Fandom: Hazbin Hotel
Genre: Angst (for now)
Warnings: family trauma/lore
Notes: we love a family that bonds.
PART ONE | PART SEVEN | PART NINE | NAVIGATION
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Xavier was worried, scared even. He's pacing back and forth in his room. Having second thoughts whether he'll go down to hell and look for his beloved mother or just wait for her here.
What he's afraid of is what'll happen if his mother sees his father. His father already caused so much emotional pain to her. Xavier cannot imagine what kind of heartbreaking pain she'll experience once she sees her husband.
Xavier looks outside his window, rays of setting sunlight peaks through the white curtains, giving his room an orange like glow. He runs his hand through his light blond locks in frustration. He can't wait a second longer to look for her.
Xavier wonders if his parents already met down there, the idea makes his blood boil.
The idea of his father suddenly back to their life makes his skin crawl. Xavier knows how much influence his father had on his mother's heart.
He sighs, a long exhale filled with tension and worry. It's already been a few hours now, what could she be possibly doing down there? He thought to himself.
With a small huff, he fixed his uniform. That's it, I'm going down there. He took a deep breath, snapped his fingers together and opened a portal that leads to hell.
He steps inside the portal, summoning his three pairs of wings so he can fly down. Xavier hopes that his mother is alright.
The portal closed and the angel who once stood inside his large magnificently large white room was no more.
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Lucifer returned back to the palace, teleporting back to his bedroom. A sigh of relief escaping his lips as he saw that [Y/n] was still passed out asleep. His eyes softened, sitting at the corner of the bed, in the empty space beside her sleeping form.
He lets out a long exhale, a tired sigh. He gazed down at her sleeping and tired face, his heart ached. Clearly torn between two women. Lilith, his wife of many millennia and [Y/n], his first wife and the angel who stood by his side and supported him despite his neglect.
He regrets it, genuinely. He was young and stupid, he and [Y/n] got married when they were in their 200's. Romance wasn't common back then, nothing to learn from. The only love they were taught was loving heaven and its creator. Romantic love barely existed during those times as every angel was busy with their respective duties.
He loves [Y/n] genuinely and he was wrong for not upholding his vows to her.
He gently swept away some strands of falling hair from her face, tucking it behind her ear. A small smile on his face once his eyes landed on his hand, devoid of any rings. He finally let go of his wedding ring, the one he used for Lilith. He didn't wear his wedding ring—the one he used for [Y/n]—as he feels like he doesn't deserve it.
Lucifer remembers that he didn't want to remove his first wedding ring with his first wife but Lilith insisted he should.
Lilith was envious, because after so many years he still wore it and led to some arguments.
He can't just forget about [Y/n], he doesn't have the heart to. Her heartbroken face is forever embedded into his memories, her empty and blank face as she stared at him and Lilith when they were banished.
A look in her face told him that she was tired, tired of waiting for him, tired of his second priority.
He should've been better, he should've treated her better. He should've been her perfect husband just like how she was his perfect wife.
His love for Lilith is slowly disappearing, ever since they've begun arguing. Their beliefs and ideals no longer match with one another.
He accidentally mentioned [Y/n]'s name during their heated arguments, which causes Lilith to be mad at him and eventually left, leaving divorce papers for him to sign on his desk.
He tried so hard to bury his love for [Y/n], he tried so hard to forget her as he knew he wouldn't see her again and most likely didn't want to see him either.
A single tear runs down his rosy red cheek, breath hitching. Emotions are finally spilling forth, his love and heart ache that he bottled up for so many eons finally erupting.
“So this is how it feels,” he sang softly, careful not to wake her up. His voice broke as he sang ever so softly, “To fall in love with you, to always think of you, to always dream of you,”
He made a mistake in his decisions, he admits that. He should've done things better. Choosing Lilith over her was a mistake, “Yes, it hurts so much to fall in love with.”
He sighs softly, choking on his words as he sings his unspoken feelings. His hand trembled with emotions, “Sorry for leaving like that, you don't deserve to get caught in my mess.”
He was a troublemaker, he didn't want her to get caught in his mess but whatever silly idea he had, she was always ready to listen and comfort him when the elders rejected it. He gently held her hand, feeling how cold her skin was, he cups it with his hand and blew some warm air to it to warm her hand. He used to do this when they were back in heaven.
He gently laid down her hand back to the bed and back to her side, a small smile on his face before he let out a sad sigh, “Loving me is just so difficult, I don't know how I should tell you that.” he admits softly, he knows how tiring he can be, he knows... He had to deal with himself after all. He sighs, he's been doing so much of it lately.
“I've fallen for somebody else, happened so quickly, I lost myself.” he admitted, he realized years ago that he was only infatuated with Lilith, when the honeymoon phase was over, arguments started.
“A shadow of you drifts along by my window or did I imagine that?” he could remember when he would spend all by himself at the kitchen, drinking after a fight with Lilith and during his drunken delusion, he would often see figures of [Y/n] comforting him.
A shaky breath leaves past his lips, eyes tired and dull. He looks at the sleeping once more, she looked so peaceful.
He wonders if he should transfer her to the hotel, he needs to check up on Charlie and the others too. With a heavy sigh, he gently lifted her up into his arms once more—effortlessly carrying her. A sense of deja vu hits him, a memory of the time he carried her like this after they got married, [Y/n] happily laughing in his arms while he grins at her as he held her. Times were simple back then.
A single tear drop, running down his blemish free pale skin, the droplet running past his rosy red spots of his cheeks.
He took a deep breath, summoning a portal that leads to an empty vacant room of the hotel, he steps in with her still asleep on his arms. The portal closes behind them as the room shifts into one Hazbin Hotel's newest guest rooms.
He gently walked towards the bed, gently laying her down comfortably, making sure to tuck her in.
Finally, he slowly gave distance between them. Standing just a few feet away from the bed, a sad look on his face, “This is how it feels, to fall in love with you, to always think of you, to always dream of you,”
Seeing her after all these years, ignited the fading flame of his love for her. Adding gasoline to a flame.
“Yes, it hurts so much to fall in love with you.” he silently admitted, she doesn't hurt him, he knows it was his fault. He made everything complicated, his decision caused harm to her and their son, to these sinners. He made a reckless decision of abandoning her, giving both of them pain in the process.
He doesn't deserve her. Not after the things he's put her through.
He thought sadly, before turning his back away from her, walking out of the room. He took one last look at her sleeping form before eventually closing the door as he left the room.
The heels of his boots tapped against the dark red tiles of the hallway of the hotel as he walked towards his own room. He needs some time to process everything.
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Charlie wasn't expecting a visitor this soon after the extermination, she certainly didn't expect her visitor to be her half half brother, a frown on his face and a glare on his eyes. She would've mistaken him for her father if he didn't have [e/c] eyes and also if the boy wasn't ridiculously so tall.
Charlie smiled nervously, how could she not? Xavier was looking down on her literally with the same coldness in his eyes.
“Xavier... Hi! I didn't expect you to be here...” Charlie says nervously, waving at him.
Xavier just raised an eyebrow, clearly not interested in small talk, “Where is she?” he asked, voice cold and means business.
Charlie tilted her head, “Who...?” she asked, wondering who the older boy was referring to.
Xavier scoffed, [e/c] eyes narrowing down on the blonde girl as he crosses his arms together on his chest, “My mother,” he answered, a deadpan look on his face, “—She came down here a few hours ago, she should've been back by now.” he added, a worried tone on his voice. Xavier was beyond worried, his poor mother alone in this disgusting place—the realm his blood father ruled. He can't imagine the possibilities that could happen to her.
Charlie's eyes widened in realization, oh, the angel. Why didn't she realize it sooner? Of course he's referring to the passed out angelic woman. Charlie is slightly nervous about telling the older boy, but she has to, “She's resting, she suddenly passed out awhile ago....?” She says, nervously, avoiding Xavier's eyes.
Xavier's eyes widened, ears ringing as everything suddenly went numb. For a brief moment, it felt like he was alone once more, the scared little boy who begged for his mother's attention.
He could remember how close she was to him but for some reason, he couldn't reach her. His mother can barely look at him in the eyes without crying. He felt useless, pathetic for being born this way and caused his beloved mother so much pain. He failed, he failed, he failed, he failed, HE FAILED HER. He couldn't save her again.
Mom...? Where are you? Please... Don't leave me again...
Charlie's eyes widened when she sees a single tear slid down Xavier's cheek despite the boy's unchanging glare, Charlie though could notice how sad his eyes were.
“Xavier...?” She calls out to him, no response.
“Azrael... He looks so much like him... I... I can't... It hurts to look at him.” his mother sobbed on the unknown taller and black haired man's shoulders. Xavier grips his duck plushie, he was somehow fond of the animal. The little boy peaked through the small gap of the door to his mother's room, hoping for some comfort after a nightmare—he didn't expect to see his beloved mom crying about him and that made him freeze on the spot. He was a smart child after all, just like his father.
“[Y/n]... He's just a kid... He needs you...” Xavier heard the man say, he still has trouble saying his name. Was it Azwawel? Or Azrawel? He forgot. Xavier, despite being so young, barely six years old—suddenly felt so numb. He slowly walked away from his mother's room, dragging the duck plushie. It felt heavier than usual, his little arms too weak to hold it.
He felt his chest tighten, he couldn't breathe. Chest heaving up and down as he tries to catch his breath.
Charlie got even more worried as she saw him begin to hyperventilate, “Xavier! Hey, hey... Look at me.” She says softly, holding on to the arms of the shaking boy, the physical contact snapping him out of his trance as he quickly pulled his arms away from the girl.
“Do not touch me.” he hissed, glaring at Charlie, “Tell me where my mother is or I'll destroy this hotel just to find her.” he threatened, making Charlie's eyes widen in fear. She knows she can't fight him, let alone her friends aren't as powerful to fight an angelic being—a Seraphim.
“She's upstairs, resting... Just don't hurt anyone.” She stammers, giving way for the older boy to come inside the hotel. She knew as her father texted her about it.
Vaggie's eyes widened when she saw the angel walks in, she could feel the man's power as he entered the room. Suddenly, the room got colder. Vaggie summoned her spear but she saw Charlie crossing her arms into an 'X' while shaking her head. Vaggie hesitantly lowered her weapon as they all looked at each other, she had to grip Angel Dust's arm to stop the arachnid from doing stupid—thankfully, Angel Dust seemed to get the memo and closed his mouth. Husk had to hold Niffty to stop her from causing chaos again.
Charlie led him up the stairs to the second floor, the others watching as they disappeared from sight.
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Xavier's eyes widened as the door to where his mother was resting was opened, the first thing he saw was his mother's passed out form, lying down on the bed.
Xavier immediately kneeled down to his mother's side, holding her hand affectionately. What happened to her?
He looked angrily at Charlie, dull [e/c] eyes staring at bright red ones, “What did you do to her?” he asked, voice lowering and clearly pissed off. Charlie shakes her head, clearly afraid of him, “We didn't do anything! She suddenly just passed out on her own.” she explained and he just sighs, shaking away his thoughts.
‘They wouldn't just recklessly harm an angel, they couldn't land a hit on her if they tried. She must've overworked again.’ he thought to himself, sighing.
“Just leave us alone please? Now.” he ordered, Charlie flinched in fear but nodded and quickly left the room, making sure to close the door on her way out.
Xavier sighs, his shoulders dropping. It suddenly felt like the weight of the world was on his shoulders. His mother is his world, after all.
“It's going to be okay, mother. I am here for you, always.” he spoke softly, kissing his mother's hand before lowering it back down to the bed, hovering his hand over her sleeping form and began to heal her.
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Lucifer stood outside the door to where [Y/n] was resting, his hand hovering above the doorknob—shaking. Charlie just told him about the situation. His son is here, the son he didn't know who existed was here.
He took a deep breath, ‘You can do this, Lucifer... This is your chance to ask for forgiveness.’ he thought to himself before knocking first and then slowly twisted the doorknob, pushing it open.
It felt like he was looking at the mirror, it felt like he was looking at a reflection of himself—the reflection glaring at him, sharp [e/c] eyes glaring at him with so much hatred.
“You!” the boy growled, standing up from where he was kneeling.
Lucifer was taken aback from the boy's anger. It felt like he was looking at a past version of him, the past him who despised heaven who treated him so wrongfully.
“What are you doing here? Why do you have so much audacity to come here like you didn't do anything wrong?” the boy asked, his voice filled with so much distaste for his father.
Lucifer's eyes widened, words stuck in his throat. Say something!
With a heavy inhale and exhale, Lucifer looked at the glaring boy, trying to calm him down, “I know what I did and I... Want to apologize... For all the things I've done.” he said softly, stammering slightly. He's trying so hard not to show that he's beyond nervous.
Xavier's glare sharpened, who does this man think he is?! Did he think a mere apology can undo all the damage he has done to him and his mother.
“Who do you think you are?” he asked Lucifer mockingly, a cold look on his face. Lucifer just stood frozen on the spot.
“Just because you're the most beautiful being of all of creation doesn't mean you can have anything you want,” Xavier sneered, a mocking smile on his face, “Your title and power doesn't mean anything to me, how does it feel to be the most beautiful being in all of creation yet you are thoroughly despised by your own flesh and blood?” Xavier asked and suddenly Lucifer couldn't speak, his chest tightening at the harsh words his supposed son had said to him. His breath caught up on his throat.
“This face...?” Xavier says, his hand moving towards his own face, he glared at his birth father, “I despised it so much, it's horrendous.” he says flatly.
“I do not know what my mother sees in you,” he says, looking up and down on his father's frozen form—not moving a muscle, “All I see is an angel who failed to become what he needed to become. A failure, nothing more and nothing less.” he says sharply, [e/c] eyes dull and hollow as he gazes at dull red ones.
Lucifer felt the familiar sting in his eyes, he desperately willed himself not to cry. What a failure of a father he is. First Charlie, now it's.... He doesn't even know the boy's name, he remembered Charlie telling him, but he somehow forgot. Pathetic.
Xavier's lips were formed in a thin line, turning his back away from his supposed blood father. He still doesn't understand why his beloved mother loves his father so much. He's too afraid to ask. Too afraid of making her remember such painful memories. He'll wait for her to open up. They have so much time to heal, he'll wait. He could remember young him who wanted to meet his father so much, the young naive Xavier who admired his father—the father who created the very species he loved so much, ducks. Poor naive Xavier who finally learned the pain his father gave to his mother to point his mother can't look at him, her beloved son in the eyes.
With a shaky breath, finally letting go of the breath he took in. Xavier sighs, “I will be taking my mother back home, thank you for your hospitality.” Xavier murmured, gently lifting his mother into his arms with no effort.
Lucifer's eyes widened from what the boy has said, they're going to leave. He needs to do something, anything to earn their forgiveness.
“Wait..! Please let her recover mor—”
“Haven't you done enough damage already?” Xavier asked, his voice devoid of any emotions as he tilted his head slightly to look at his father, a single stray tear running down his pale cheeks, the single droplet running past the rosy red spot on his cheek.
Lucifer was taken aback once more, the King of Hell can see so much sadness, anger, and longing on the boy's eyes. Lucifer wanted to reach out to the boy, his fatherly instincts kicking in. His hand extending where the boy stood, pausing as he hesitated.
Even after all these years, sweet little Xavier is still somewhere inside him. The sweet naive Xavier who wanted a complete family, who wanted a father.
“I said what I said, she'll be going home and get proper treatment. I doubt hell is a appropriate place to treat an angel like her.” Xavier says flatly, clearly not open for any discussion left. His decision is final. Lucifer can only respect that, he owes it to them. Lucifer finally lowers his hand, regrettably so.
Xavier turned away from Lucifer once more, summoning a portal back to their home in heaven.
A bright golden light formed in thin air as a portal opened, Xavier stepped in with his mother in his arms. He dared not look back. He doesn't have any reason to.
The portal closes in. Lucifer was left alone standing in the guestroom, his first family gone in a blink of an eye.
He cried in anguish inside that room.
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He can hear his bones rattle against his skin as he dragged his body to his mother's bedroom, Xavier is incredibly exhausted. Physically, no. Emotionally and mentally? Yes, absolutely.
He is still carrying his mother in his arms, prioritizing her comfort over his.
Kicking the door open, he walked at the center of the room where his mother's bed was, gently laying her down. Making sure to tuck her in.
[Y/n] snuggled, against her blanket. Xavier smiled, a gentle yet strained smile on his face.
“I'll protect you mom, sleep well and dream well.” he says softly, planting a small kiss on his mother's forehead before eventually leaving the room.
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TAGLIST I:
@valerie-36 @blackbleedingrose @adaizel @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx @thedarkkitten @selvyyr @froggybich @brithedemonspawn @kottenox @totallymitya @many-fandoms-lover @dou-dou @mezzyb0nb0n @n1chxyaaenthusiast @cherry-4200 @koirb @galaxyj3lly @crystalplays28 @luleck @zc000ter @rory-cakes @mixplara @crescent-z @bitchyzombienacho @kalisha2004 @altervex @nehy019 @napbatata @kouyoumarryme @sxgacxbe @kooidoom @ok-boke @random-3455 @izzieg3987 @snoozewritezz @dreamzaremyreality @hcneyiced @witchbunny1210 @ghostdoodlen @aikobakugou @just-here-reading @dzhanett-blog @des-deswain5621 @cocomollo @haleypearce @onyxstarhigh06 @nirvana5874 @shaebutter-baby
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gremlingottoosilly · 7 months
Note
König x Ballet dancer!Reader?
You passed through years of training. Being accepted into one of the famous ballet schools of Vienna was nothing to snooze about - and you were on track to become yet another nameless swan in the second row. With a shelve life of just about 10 years, your life was set to be a parade of mediocrity from the start. Without a rich sponsor to give you connections and without any of your professors looking at you twice, you exited college with a stable job in the background. Sometimes, accepting scraps being thrown at the main dancers, you knew your place - you ached for dance and beauty, and you got it. This is why a bouquet of blood-red roses sitting heavily in your hands still feels like a dream. The man in front of you is not a normal opera guest. His suit is tailored - not for the sake of showing off the price, but because this man is simply too huge for anything made in-store, no matter how expensive the store is. His suit is tailored professionally and yet, he still looks uncomfortable. A mountain of a man confined into the prison of tight fabric - you tilts your head to the side, wondering what is he doing here. He is wearing a black mask, which is normal for many patrons - especially the older ones, still afraid to die after what happened just a few years ago. You can only see his eyes and you're getting lost in the cold. It reminds you of a mountain snow. Of the white fabric of your dress - and suddenly, you almost feel like breaking your perfect posture. You don't look into the viewer's seats while you're dancing, but you can't shake the feeling that you recognize this heavy stare from somewhere. He was following your every movement while you were on the stage, not caring for the beauty of the front dancer and the elegant movements of your peers. You're painfully average in everything - but his attention never fails to get on you. He is giving you gruff, cut-out compliments. Something about your legs, your hips. Something dirty about the way you look in that tight tutu, and you almost gather the strength to slap him, but then he flashes his credit card, and it feels like a ticket out of mediocrity. Always the second last in the deep row, you never had any fans looking at you like this. With this amount of longing, of depravity. You start getting better roles after he started to show up. You're not sure why and how - he has money, that's for certain, but he definitely doesn't seem like the type to have connections in the industry. If you had to guess, you would see him as working in the military - but no one from Austrian army would have as much influence, not in your country. If you had to guess, this guy is dangerous, and you're almost terrified to see the dark red flash of flowers every time you exit backstage and see him. But, oh, he presses you against the walls and kisses you. But, oh, he can lift you up so easily and force you to grind on his knee in search for pleasure - you have stamina, all dancers have it, and he knows he can go for much longer than with a regular girl. Your affection is bought with compliments and euro bills stuck in your leotard like you're a cheap whore, but you almost feel like a French girl while he is holding you like this. He asks you about retirement. Tells you he would build you a dance studio in his house - something big, with space and perfect light. Give you all the attention you need. You almost feel yourself getting lost in his awkwardness. Little did you know he wasn't really asking.
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spidybaby · 2 months
Text
Silenced
Summary: Gavi noticed how suddenly you became quiet and shy around him. Thinking he did something bad, he confronted you about it.
Warnings: cursing.
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Gavi and you are opposites. Everybody knows it.
You are an extrovert, you love to be around people, you love talking, you love attention.
Gavi is an introvert, he's shy, he's quiet, he prefers when people talk and when the attention is not on him.
You say that's what makes you perfect for each other. Because you motivate him to be more open and he calms you down when you need.
It's like having the best of both worlds, that's what his parents would say.
"Y/n, you are here!" Aurora runs to hug you. "I thought you were in Sevilla."
"I was, but I wasn't going to let you spend your birthday without me." You hug her tightly. "Open your gift."
She pulls you to the couch, opening the gift as soon as you hit the cushion. "No way!" She smiles. "You didn't."
"It was hard to get, I'll admit." You say. "But I know how much you wanted it." You hug her again.
"Thank you, you are the best." She kisses your cheek. "By the way, Pablo is with dad and mom. He's pouting, so I think you can fix that."
You laugh with her. Walking over to the garden where family and friends are. You walk slowly to Pablo, he was watching something on tik tok.
You sit next to him, his parents smiling at how distracted he is. "Hola, preciosa. It's so good to see you." His father says.
"Pablo, serve some water to Aurora's friend." His mom says, trying to get him to notice you.
He left the phone on the table, grabbing a cup and serving some water. He hands you the cup with his eyes still on the screen.
"Gracias, Pablo." You say, about to laugh at how cute he looks all focused.
He lifts his eyes, looking at you. "Guapa!" He smiles. The table laughed at how his eyes got shinny and his mood got better.
The rest of the evening, he didn't separate. He didn't look at his phone. He was focused on hearing you talk about your vacation trip and your last days at sevilla.
He loves hearing you talk, he finds all your stories very interesting. He loves how your eyes shine when you talk about the memories you made.
"Hola, Pablo." A elderly woman says. Touching his shoulders.
"Hola," he says in a serious tone. "This is my girlfriend, Y/n." He introduced you. You wave to her, smiling. "Y/n, this is my aunt Paloma."
"Nice to meet you, ma'am."
She sat in the chair in front of you two, talking with Pablo senior. You two keep talking, well you keep doing it.
"I got that recipe of those cookies you liked." You smile at him. Telling her all your plans. "I think I can make it for you, I just need some ingredients. And I saw this tik tok of a very healthy and non sugary glaze for cookies that you will love. Now that you are back on your diet, I think I can make the cookies more healthy with some organic ingredients." He smiles, knowing that you supported all his restrictions.
"I'm going to go get some juice. Do you want some?" He asks. Getting up from his seat. You nod, thanking him. "Be right back."
You check your phone, you answer some texts from your family, and answer some dms you got after posting a story with Pablo.
"You are such a sweetheart." His aunt says. Making you pay attention. "Isn't she one Pablo?"
"She is." His father smiles. "She's such a nice girl to our Gavi."
"But my oh my, sweetie." She laughs. "You like to talk, I don't know how you do it. I feel lightheaded just by hearing you ramble."
You shily smile, knowing you do talk a lot, and that can be stressful for some people. "Sorry." You say.
"Maybe that's why Gavi likes her." She says to his father. "He gets to be the quiet one like he always was."
They laugh, making you blush. You know you sometimes do talk about a lot of things in one moment, but Pablo never complained.
"Don't get me wrong, cupcake." She says, still laughing. "He totally likes it."
You smile. Pablo has no problem hearing you rambling all night if that's what you wanted to do.
"Here's your juice, Princesa." He says, taking a seat next to you again. You thank him, and he got closer to kissing your shoulder. "Now, why don't you tell me again about that museum you visited in Paris?"
You smile, turning fully to him to tell him again about your adventure at the Louvre museum.
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"Fermin, can you get me a bottle of water too?"
Pablo and his friends from La Masia were at his house, they were visiting Pablo and having a little goodbye party for Marc.
You weren't there to bother, but Pablo invited you to go out with him and his sister and you were a little early, so they asked you to joined them.
"Hola, sorry about crushing the party. I was a few blocks away, and it made sense to just come by."
They all say hi back and tell you to enjoy with them the rest of the time they'll be there.
"Hi Marc, sorry to intrude your goodbye party."
"Hola, no biggie, sit and enjoy some cake." Marc smiles. "Gavi, get her some cake."
Gavi walks over to the table where the cake is placed, cutting a piece for you. You loved chocolate cake, so he gets you a big piece.
"How are you, Y/n?" Fermin asks.
"I'm good, been busy lately, college pre courses and things like that. How are you feeling after the Euros?"
"It was amazing, winning and being able to share my first tournament." He smiles. "Gavi wasn't there, but I know he will come back, and we will play together."
You love the relationship Fermin and Pablo have. They all have an amazing brotherhood. La masia really made them a family.
"What courses are you taking?" Fermin asks.
You began telling him about the pre courses you were taking to be able to graduate early.
If someone loves hearing other people talk apart from Gavi, was Fermin. He enjoys a good talk, being able to have long conversations.
So, to him, it was nice that you extended the conversation as long as you wanted.
You tell him everything, literally everything, and he asked things here and there for you to explain.
Hector is seated next to Marc, who is in front of Fermin and you. He was paying attention to the conversation.
"Hey, Guapa." Gavi says, getting your attention. "I forgot your drink." He smiles, handing you a soda can.
"Thank you, I'm thirsty." You joke with him. Making him chuckle, walking back to Ansu.
Hector is someone who's brutally honest. He had no filter when he wanted to say something. Not that it's bad, but sometimes he just says what he thinks without processing the words.
"You must be." He laughs. Making you turn to him. "After everything you told Fermin. You've been talking for a good ten minutes without stopping."
You look down to your untouched cake. Feeling shy about being called out for talking too much by two people close to Gavi.
"God, maybe that's why Pablo never talks." He jokes, not sensing that you don't understand he's joking. "Because he must be tired for you."
That makes Marc and Fermin laugh, they did understand the joke. But they don't notice how you don't laugh or smile.
"Sorry, I sometimes get carried away with conversations." You say, eating the cake and not lifting your sight to hide the fact that your eyes got glossy.
They talk with each other for a little bit. You excuse yourself to move upstairs. You don't feel like talking anymore.
You always got told to shut up by people around you when you were little. Always sensing the discomfort of people when you joined a party or a new group.
That changed when you met your friends from college, they encouraged you to talk and to be as open as you want with the stories you wanted to share.
And when Pablo and you met, at first you were careful, trying not to show how "crazy" you were by literally throwing words up.
But once you were in full trust mode, you started with the talking. Pablo then confessed that he loved how much you talked.
But lately, you were getting the comments you used to get. Feeling like you needed to be quiet and just say a minimum of ten words or less.
Thing you forced yourself to do, only ten words every time someone asked you something you made yourself answers with few words.
"Hey, what are you doing here?" Pablo asks. Closing the door behind him.
"I was -" You stopped. You know he's very quick to get angry, and if you tell what happened, he was going to shout at Hector. "I just gave you space to be with your friends." You fake smile. "Go back, I'll have you tonight."
You kissed his lips and then pushed him out of the room. "I'll make them leave so we can spend some time alone."
"Don't" you point at him. "Go enjoy your friends."
But Pablo didn't mind hurrying the party to an end. Letting the others pick the mess while he watches.
"Thank you for everything, bro." Marc says, hugging him. "I'm going to miss you."
"I'll miss you too." He says, smiling. "Have fun in Chelsea."
"Will send you a jersey." They laugh. "Tell Y/n goodbye for me."
"For us too. See you at training." Fermin and Hector say. Giving Gavi a high five.
He hurries upstairs carefully because he doesn't want to trip on the stairs and hurt himself. He opens the door, finding you watching something on the tv.
You smile at the sight of him, opening your arms. He smiles, throwing himself at you, settling between your legs and pressing you down the mattress.
"Dios mio, Pablo." You laugh, feeling his weight.
"Te amo." He smiles, kissing your neck and cleavage. "Let's call my parents and tell them we are not going."
You humm at the way his lips feel on your warm skin. How his hands are now on your ass, lifting you.
"Don't stop." You beg, moaning.
His hips move, creating a static feeling between your clothed body. A warm feeling that is making your roll your eyes.
Your hands pull his shirt off. His hands unbutton your pants, hand making its way down your most needed part.
He loves the way you moan his name, the way your eyes roll with every trust his hips make. He's intoxicated by you. The same way you feel intoxicated by him.
"Don't you think it is rude to leave your parents and sister alone at the restaurant?" You ask, seating on top of him.
"No, I don't." He laughs. "Arms up." He commands.
You pull your arms up, and he dresses you with his shirt. "Mmm." You exaggerate. "Smells like you." You laugh, kissing him.
He smirks, proud of himself. The look of you is worth like a work of art. Your messed-up hair and your dilated pupils, and the way you are bitting your lips while tracing his muscles with your fingertips.
"Te ves tan preciosa." He kisses your shoulders. Hugging your body and caressing your ass. Making you moan at the feeling of relaxation.
The moment is broken by his phone ringing. The ID caller showing the name of his sister. He groans, moving one of his hands to answer the phone.
"Hola." He says, putting the call on speaker. Leaving it in the night stand and focusing on hugging you again.
"Pablo, did you get my text?"
"No, what is it about?"
You kiss his cheeks. Drunk in love and still into the effects of the orgasms he gave you. Your hands comb his hair while you kiss his temple.
"We picked food and are about to get to your home. The restaurant had an emergency and closed the dining room, but they had takeout.
"Qué?" He asks, checking the text. She asked multiple times what he wanted from the restaurant, then what she was picking, she mentioned she texted you and also picked for you and that they were leaving the restaurant.
"We are like fifteen minutes away. Can you order something for dessert?"
"Si, I'll do it. Bye." He hangs up. "Preciosa, let's get dressed."
"No," you say, extending the o. "I want to stay like this with you."
"Mee too, preciosa. But my parents and sister are coming any moment now, so let's change and when they leave we can cuddle. Deal?" He asks, kissing your forehead.
"Deal." You bump your nose with his. "But I want to stay in your shirt. Please."
He kiss you. "Let's go get ready."
He helps you with your clothes. Sharing some kisses here and there. He tries to get the room to not look like the mess you two make. In case his mom or dad needed to get inside.
He goes downstairs, finding you putting the table together. "Guapa, what kind of dessert do you want?"
"Oh, maybe that pina colada cheesecake we tried the other day." You smile, feeling hungry for it.
He orders it. Just in time because his family git a few minutes later. They greet the two of you.
"I texted you guys." Aurora says.
"It was my fault, I asked Pablo to explain this NBA game, and the phone was silent."
"The Lakers one?" His father asks.
"Yes, they won." Pablo smiles. Kissing your shoulder.
They all ask Pablo how his trainings were, if he was has difficulty with how he's exercising. You stayed quiet, still feeling a little sensitive about the comment Hector did.
Aurora looks at you. She finds how weird it is for you to be quiet. She thinks that maybe something happened with her brother and that's why you are so quiet.
You received the cheesecake, telling them that you would cut it and serve it for them. Aurora took this as an opportunity to talk with you in private.
"Hey, are you okay?" She asks, noticing that you are quiet even with only her.
"Just tired." You half lie.
You were tired after yours and Pablos activities, but also not in the mood to bore people or to make them dizzy with your conversation.
"You know you can talk to me."
"Thank you, I'm fine." You hug her. "I promise I'm just tired."
Pablo noticed it too, you were silent.
You weren't as smiley as you were with his family around. You were more serious. He wanted to ask.
"Are you okay?" He asks, kissing your head.
You two were laying down in his bed, his fingers combing your hair, and his other hand was rumming up and down your back.
You humm, trying to drizz to sleep. He let it go. Blaming your mood on being tired and wanting to sleep.
"I can take you to class tomorrow, is that okay?"
"Si, I'd really appreciate it." You snuggle closer.
He knows you would tell him if something was wrong, if you were hurt, or if he did something. You were honest with him.
But you really weren't honest with him. You chose to retake what you used to do back in the day when people asked you to stop talking.
You fully controlled whatever came out of your mouth. When you were with Pablo or with his family, you were into this new mode.
That made them worry. You told them that you were just stressed with homework and with projects.
Pablo on the other hand didn't fully bought that story. He thought it was something else, but he was way too afraid to ask.
He felt guilty because he thought that maybe something he did was the cause of this behavior.
Aurora told him off, believing that you were just overwhelmed with college things. Maybe because she was, and she chose to believe you.
But when he picked you to go get lunch, he saw you with your friend, you were laughing and talking with such naturality that it makes him feel worse.
"Hola!" You say to him from outside the vehicle. "Bye, I'll call you later."
"Bye, have fun, please do call me. I need you to keep telling me more about the story." She smiles. "Hi and goodbye, Pablo."
"Hi and goodbye to you." Pablo says, smiling at her. "Let's go, Guapa."
The first part of the drive was very quiet. You don't think there's any tension. You just stayed a little too quiet, but it was not like you were mad at him.
To him, it was hell. Why weren't you talking? Why weren't you telling him about your day? He wanted to hear you.
"How was college?" He asks.
"Good." You smile, bringing his hand to your mouth and kissing it.
"What story was your friend talking about?" He asks, trying to get you to talk.
"Oh, nothing." You scuff. "How was your day?"
"C'mon, you know I'm a chismoso."
"It was just about my trip to Valencia."
"Okay."
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"Venga! What the fuck is that yellow for?" Pablo says, angry at the referee on tv.
You two were watching a game, he was invited to go with the team but he wanted to spend some time with you.
He was getting busy and close to his comeback date. So for him, it was about spending all the time he could with you and his family.
"That was wrong." You say.
It's been almost six weeks since the incident at his house. You were very good at controlling how much you were talking.
But him, he was losing his mind.
He tried asking questions. Nothing.
He tried asking if something was wrong, not directly, but he did asked.
He tried making Aurora ask. Nothing.
He tried everything, but talking to you.
"Hey, do you remember that one trip we took to Ibiza?"
You smile at the memory, you loved remembering things you two did together.
"Yes, we need to find some time to do that again."
"We do." He smiles. "But I was asking because I tried to remember this story about that painting we saw at the museum tour."
"The one about the princess?"
"Yes, do you remember what it was about?"
"It was about an Aztec princess who -"
You got interrupted by the commentator screaming at a goal Raphinha just scored.
"Jo'er, that was good, and we lost it."
You got quiet again, thinking that maybe he got mad about missing that.
"You were saying, preciosa?"
You shake your head, hugging his waist. "I forgot what I was saying. That was an amazing goal. I can't wait to see you back on the field."
He forgot for a moment what he was trying to do, hugging you back and combing your hair while the fame continued.
"Aurora and I are going to a bonfire tomorrow." You tell him. You were happy about it because you missed your friends and Aurora.
"That's so cool, why for?"
"Just a nice after tests reunion." You smile at him.
"Don't burn yourself, but do eat marshmallows." He jokes, making you laugh.
You two continue to watch the game, enjoying each other's company. You love times like this because Pablo has such little free time that when you do get the time to just be on the couch in each other's arms. You can't complain about anything, just enjoy.
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"Hola!" Aurora shouts to all your friends. "We are here, and we got the drinks." You lift the bottle and the package of red cups. "Ready to party?"
Your friends yell in happiness. Making you two laugh. "Hey, I have someone I want to introduce you to."
You followed her inside the beach house, leaving the bottles and cups in the snacks table where everyone dumped what they brought.
"Mikayla, come here." She calls someone in the kitchen. "Y/n, this is Mikayla. She's new in the faculty, Mikayla, this is Y/n."
"The girlfriend." She says.
"Yes, she's Pablo's girlfriend."
You smile at her, weird comment to make about how you are "the girlfriend" as if Aurora haven't told her your name just a second ago.
"Nice to meet you." You fake smile. "I'm going to go help outside with the fire and everything. Can you bring the things to make the smores?" You ask Aurora, not really paying attention to the girl.
You helped your friends with the fire, with mixing the drinks. You were having a lot of fun. You were talking with one of your class friends about how this project you two are doing.
The day was going great, you had so much fun talking and spending time with all your close friends.
You were sat on a beach blanket, drinking a piña colada and texting Pablo how the evening was going.
"Can I sit?" You hear someone saying. Making you look up.
"Sure." You say to Mikayla, going back to your phone. Pablo sent you a photo of him on the physio.
She takes a seat in front of you, "Aurora told me a lot about you."
You smile, knowing Aurora always talks about you with love and care.
"When she told me about you talking a lot, I never thought you were a word dumpster." She laughs.
You got serious, smile disappearing from your face. You want to smack that horrible grind and quiet down that laugh.
"You talk what everybody here doesn't talk." She keeps going.
"What are you talking about?" Aurora joined.
"For once, I think I'm the one talking because your friend right here was doing all the talking all day."
You didn't laughed, you didn't smile. You just looked at them laughing.
"But we love her very much, mom and dad love having her over and how much she loves Pablo."
"Oh, I'm sure she's a pleasure to be around." She says in this sarcastic tone. "I'm sure you love always hearing her talk."
"We do! Even tho sometimes I hear her more than I ever hear Pablo." Aurora jokes.
You got up, getting away from them. You went inside the house, picking your things and ordering an Uber. You don't want to be around people anymore.
"Hey, are you leaving?" Aurora asks, noticing you are walking away. Following you, trying to stop you.
"Go back to your friend Mikayla." You say, stern tone. "I'm leaving."
"Y/n, why are you mad?"
"Nothing Aurora, go back to your fucking friend. I'm sure you can tell her how fucking much I talk and both of you can have a laugh out of me."
You left angry, trying not to cry in the Uber. You felt like a nine year old after your family asked you to be quiet because you were giving them a headache.
You take a long hot and hot shower. Leaving the sand and the worries away. You eat something and watch your favorite movie.
Halfway through the movie, you heard a knock on the door. You roll your eyes, you are not in the mood for visitors.
You find a frowny Pablo on the other side of the door. You know Aurora told him about you leaving, he asked you what happened over text.
"We need to talk."
You walk back to the couch, not feeling like talking with him. "Please, not today." You whine.
"What's going on?" He asks, sitting on the coffee table in front of the couch. "Is something wrong?"
"I don't want to talk."
"But why?" Hes worried, he holds your hands, caressing them with his thumbs. "Amor, I don't understand why you don't want to talk."
You feel your eyes watering, you hate feeling that way around him. He was your safe space, he was the person you feel more comfortable with.
"Because everyone makes fun of me for it." You confess.
He hugs you, letting you cry into his arms. He doesn't understand how people can do that to you when you are a sweetheart.
"Who is doing this?"
"Everyone, Pablo." You pout. "You friends, your aunt, and even your sister."
"My sister?" He asks, confused on why Aurora would do that.
You explained everything, how the comments of his aunt, Hector, how Fermin and Marc laughed, how this new girl made fun of you, and what Aurora said.
"And I just didn't want you to feel tired of me, I don't know."
He softens his expression, noticing how you are really concerned about him growing tired of you and leaving you.
You told him how you used to get these comments when you were little. How your mom and dad always asked you to shut up and to go away.
"Guapa, mirame." He sits next to you. "I love hearing you talk. I love how you tell me about your day, how you tell me about what you are doing in college, how you planned things, how was your trips, you hangings with your friend. I love you for you."
You smile, crying again while hugging you. It was the band-aid your heart needed.
"Te amo, and you would never bored me."
"Te amo, Pablo."
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"Are you ready to yell at the referee in live?" You ask him, squishing his hand while laughing.
"I hope I don't have to." He jokes. "Menudo hijo de puta el anterior." (The last one was a son of a bitch)
You were with him on the corridor, the players getting ready for the game. You have the privilege to be able to go with him to all areas of the stadium.
"Wait for me here, I just have to go to the bathroom."
You sit on a bench that was in the corridor. Texting with your friends and updating them on what was happening at the stadium.
"Hey, Y/n."
You lift your head, finding Fermin and Hector there. They have their uniform on.
"Hey guys, good luck today!"
"Gracias, we wanted to talk to you before the game."
"Si, tell me." You smile, standing to talk with them. "Are you okay?"
"He are." Hector says. "I just wanted to say sorry about that one time when I joke about you talking too much, I didn't think it was that bad but now I know it was. Lo siento."
"And I'm sorry about laughing, it was mean of us yo do that, please forgive us."
You smile at them, knowing that Pablo was behind all of this. You can't help but feel thankful with him.
"It okay, no bad feelings." You hug them both. "Now go finish getting ready, you need to go out and score so much goals."
They say goodbye, and magically, Gavi appeared from a few seconds later from the same direction they left.
"You are such a sweetheart." You laugh, hugging him and kissing his lips. "Let's go to our seats, we need to cheer extra hard for your friends."
"Let's go, Guapa." He kisses your head. "Remember, after the game, we are going to my place. You still need to tell me about that presentation you have."
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🏷: @gadriezmannsgirl hi 😝💕
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ateliersss · 9 months
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Part 3 - He Shan‘t Lose
Pairing: Yautja x F!Reader Summary: Mere two months ago, you returned home after the incident on Earth. Now you were back, ready to indulge yourself and go on the weekly "date night" with your mate. If only your unborn pup had better timing… Cross-posted on AO3: here Warnings: English isn't my first language Word Count: 6,716 Part 1: here Part 2: here Masterlist
⇨ Oh, I missed my Mi‘ytiar.
⇨ I can't believe I finally got this done and I'm able to present this to you. Also, my birthday, guys! God, I'm 20 and I already feel old. Please spoil me with comments, re-blogs and likes.
⇨ Want to join the tag list?
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“Be'jaa, go! Go! Good boy.” You laughed as you watched your four-legged companion chase after the trail he had scented.
Hell Hounds, they were called, and probably the closest thing to a pet you could get on Yautja Prime. You learned quickly, after your first encounter with them, that they were similar to the hounds on Earth, and like hounds on Earth, they had one purpose — hunting prey.
Unlike a curious Beagle, a devoted Pointer, or a stubborn Basset Hound, Hell Hounds were more similar to Yautjas than dogs, both in looks and characteristics. But you still could recognize some traits that reminded you of your childhood dog.
You didn’t hunt with Hell Hounds often — it was more special and intimate when it was just you and Mi‘ytiar — but your mate had insisted that at least one of them should accompany you. As experience showed, the two of you had to split up at times; sometimes he also kept in the shadows, high on top of a tree, to watch you hunt on your own. It was simply a safety measure.
It wasn’t like you couldn’t handle the prey on your own. The creatures you hunted were either as small as a cat or as big as a horse. They were insignificant opponents, laughable for a Yautja and not nearly on their hunting standard, but Mi‘ytiar felt different. He didn‘t care how tiny or weak the prey was compared to him.
It wasn't about him, after all.
Those hunts were solely for you, so you could be a part of his culture without him having to worry about endangering your life. 
He had been ecstatic when you voiced your wish years ago for him to teach you how to hunt, how to track, and kill as it was custom on his home planet. And even now, after you had exceeded his expectations, he still was immensely proud of you every time you succeeded.
No, Be'jaa wasn’t only there for tracking or for flushing out his targets, but also for guarding. You were in the final stages of your pregnancy, and your strength, your speed, and your stamina had decreased, leaving you more vulnerable should prey ambush you. 
Speaking of him, he had been gone for quite some time.
“Be'jaa?” You called, whistled, and waited for a moment for him to return to you.
When you neither could hear him bark, or see him running towards you, you tried calling him again, “Be'jaa?”
And again.
“Be–”
The other half of his name turned into a strained whimper as a stabbing pain pierced through your body, coming from your stomach. You stifled a scream, but when something wet suddenly ran down your legs, a shaky breath escaped your lips.
You knew what this meant.
Your water just broke.
“Oh no. Not now, my sweetling.”
Clutching your stomach, breathing in and out, you slowly approached a tree and practically slumped against it. One of your hands gripped the meaty texture of the tree trunk for support, the other snaked down and between your thighs. When you pulled your hand back, it was coated with the clear substance of the amniotic fluid.
And blood. There was also blood on your fingers, but it was nothing too alarming. When you had been pregnant with Akail, there had been blood too, but it was still an unsettling sight to you.
“Ahhh!” You cried out as another wave of agonizing pain washed through you, your head thrown back.
As much as you had enjoyed the mostly perfect pregnancy, you had completely forgotten about birthing the pup at the end. Maybe you had just pushed the whole thing aside since the mere memory of Akail‘s birth was still able to instill that deep-rooted dread within your body.
You went into labor when both moons were at their zenith.
Mi’ytiar, who had slept peacefully next to you, was hovering over you the second you tried to wake him up. 
It took one panicked look from you and he knew what was going on. 
He got up from his lying position on your nest and knelt beside you.
You had already pushed the furs you used as a blanket to the side and he saw your legs shining with moisture in the moonlight.
“My water broke.” You faintly answered his silent question. “Our little one is coming.”
Mi’ytiar was on high alert as he knew what that meant. 
He tried to lift you into his arms, his mind fully set on bringing you to Cahrein, the healer, but unfortunately, a contraction hit you right at that moment. The pain plus the one you felt as Mi’ytiar lifted you up ripped a heart-wrenching scream from your throat. 
It hurt so very much that you punched him out of instinct, an instinct telling you to do anything to stop the pain, hitting him right in the face.
You looked up at him with wide eyes. “Oh God, Mi‘ytiar. I’m so sorry.”
His heart clenched at that. 
You shouldn’t apologize. He’d barely felt the impact anyways, your human strength too weak to actually hurt him, but he didn’t deserve to not feel anything. 
He should have felt pain, should have been knocked from his feet.
He had hurt you, had caused you more pain than you were already feeling.
You noticed the guilty expression on your mate’s face and grabbed his hand. “It’s okay, tahní. It‘s o–”
You cut yourself off as you pressed your lips together while another contraction hit you.
“–kay. It’s okay.” You panted, “Just get Cahrein.”
Mi’ytiar shook his head determinedly as he placed his free hand on yours, which clasped his other hand in a death grip. 
“Cannot leave you.” He growled.
Another contraction made you cry out, “Mi’ytiar, please!”
It took a lot of persuasion for him to finally leave your side to get the healer.
You understood that he didn‘t want to leave you on your own, out of fear something bad would happen to you if he let you out of his sight only for a second, but you needed Cahrein to deliver your son safely.
The healer had gotten to work as soon as his eyes met your tiny, withering body. Putting aside the various instruments he had taken with him — you recognized them from one of your visits where he had shown you which ones he used for births — he helped you to remove the panties that you wore with the little piece of clothing you called nightie, which you had already pulled up, over your bulging stomach, and out of the way.
Usually, you and your mate slept naked with nothing shielding you from each other’s skin, but since you got closer and closer to due-day you wanted to be prepared. You wanted to keep at least a little of your dignity, not wanting to lie completely bare in front of Cahrein. 
Even though you knew he wouldn‘t care, taking his job far too seriously for that, your body in all its naked glory was meant for Mi’ytiar‘s eyes and Mi’ytiar‘s eyes only.
With your mate on one side and the healer on the other, you spent hours in indescribable agony.
Mentally, you were so far gone, blacking out for a second here and there. You barely caught how Mi’ytiar was insistently talking to you, or how Cahrein alternately injected you with a transparent and a bright green fluid.
It felt like a miracle when the unbearable pain decreased bit by bit, but not fully disappeared. Your fuzzy mind and your blurry view started to clear. 
With the pain now more bearable, you could finally focus on the natural instinct that told you to push.
What you didn’t know was that the following screams and cries woke up the clan in alarm, gathering almost everyone in front of your home, eagerly awaiting the new addition. 
This occasion was special, after all. Their fierce and mighty leader was expecting his first pup, something no one had expected to happen. Ever.
The tense uncertainty inside and outside of your home dissipated as soon as the whiny squeals of your newborn pup finally filled the air.
“Such a bad timing, my sweetling.” You mewled.
Tears were gathering in your eyes and you quickly blinked them away. You didn’t know if it was because of the pain of the contractions, which were now four minutes apart, or out of fear of being all alone in a hostile environment.
With your tongue between your teeth, you waited until the pain subsided, fully intending to call for your mate, but when you did, his name only escaped your lips in a short-winded whisper.
It was like you couldn’t breathe.
Biting back a sob, you formed your hand into a fist and hit your chest repeatedly, trying to get yourself to breathe regularly again. And when you thought you had enough air in your lungs, you bellowed, “Mi’ytiar!”
Your breath hitched and tears finally streamed down your cheeks. You bend your upper body forward, towards the tree, and pressed the palms of your hands against the tree trunk. With your head facing the ground, tears left your eyes, and rolled down the bridge of your nose before dripping down the tip to the forest floor.
You were crying and panting, your body clenching every time another contraction hit you.
“Mi’ytiar, please, please… I need you… please, please.” You begged, your voice barely audible.
Contentment.
That’s all you could feel as you adjusted your lying position on the soft fur and the woolen and cotton fabrics of your nest. It was living up to its name as it reminded you of an actual nest, a bird’s nest; just as round but with more comfortable materials. Mi’ytiar had been very picky, something that amused you to no end.
That and the fireplace embedded into the floor, enclosing the round platform the nest was on, kept you warm and cozy.
You and the pup that was sleeping on your chest.
Little Akail let out little purrs while he enjoyed the warmth of his mother’s body that kept him tranquil and happy.
Only ten hours old and he already had such a significant place in this clan and his parent’s hearts.
You hummed quietly to your pup, only looking up from the endearing sight when Mi’ytiar entered your home and came to a halt in front of your nest, taking in the very welcome view of his (tantalizing naked) mate and his newborn son.
“Don’t get any ideas.” You warned him playfully when you noticed his heated gaze racking over your body.
“Back on Earth, some parents hold their babies like this. The skin and warmth forges a strong bond between them and the baby can get used to its parents’ touch.” You explained, your fingers slowly caressing Akail‘s back.
Mi’ytiar only clicked his mandibles in acknowledgment before he started to take off his armor and his traditional clothing as clan leader. 
You had to bite your lower lip, reminding yourself of your own scolding words only seconds ago, but you simply couldn’t help yourself. Your mate was a fine specimen, a strong and gorgeous Yautja. You were one hell of a lucky woman.
You watched him get on the nest, now only dressed in his loin cloth, and he moved on his knees towards you. 
You wrapped an arm around Akail — still curled up into a ball with his head tucked under your chin and his feet resting on your belly — and got up into a sitting position.
Mi’ytiar grabbed you by your thigh and hip, lifted you up, and pulled you to him so you were sitting on his thighs while your legs were wrapped around the width of his hips.
He looped his arms around you, drawing you into an embrace, so little Akail was now nestled between both of his parents’ warm bodies.
The smile that had grown on your lips since the moment Mi’ytiar had entered your home was now so bright and wide your cheeks started to hurt. 
But you didn’t really care. You couldn‘t hide the sheer happiness you were feeling right now at this moment.
You felt movement against your throat and above the valley of your breasts, and when you looked down as best as you could manage, you saw Akail nuzzle his face into your skin while his tiny hand was now lying on your chest where your heart was beating.
You wanted to cry happy tears.
You had never expected to become a mother, never planned on it, never even remotely wanted it if you were being honest, but having your baby now in your arms made every antipathy disappear. 
You placed a soft kiss on Akail‘s head, using as little pressure as possible so he wouldn’t wake up.
“He’s perfect.” You whispered and looked up at Mi’ytiar who was already watching you intently. “Are you happy?”
He cocked his head to the side, his chest vibrating when he confirmed, “Happy.”
He felt Akail‘s small body against his own, felt his tiny body press against his every time he was breathing.
Breathing.
A beating heart.
Alive.
He loosened the embrace of one of his arms around your body to reach between the two of you and for his son, his fingers tracing from Akail‘s forehead to the back of his head — there, he had the same scale pattern as his father, only with reversed colors — and from his temple over the hints of dreads on each side of his little head with his thumb.
Akail was indeed perfect, just like his mother, and he loved him with all his heart already, but the price he almost had to pay for having him here…
“I thought I would lose you today.” He admitted, breaking the comfortable silence between you.
You lifted your head from where it had been resting on his chest to look up at him with a small smile.
“For a second, I thought I would never see you again. I thought I would never meet our son." You nodded, thinking about the sharp pain and the feeling of life leaving your body as your pup fought his way out of you. “But Cahrein had prepared me as well as he was able to. He helped me through it. Who knows, hadn’t he injected me with your blood…”
You trailed off when Akail began to stir. You quickly started to rock him up and down, luring him back to sleep.
“He’s a very gifted male. I’ve trusted him with my life since the first time we visited him together after my arrival here so many moons ago.”
You adjusted your arm and its hold on Akail, the other reached up and cupped Mi’ytiar’s cheek. You let your fingertips glide over the scaly texture of his skin and dragged them over his jaw to his chin, down his throat to the middle of his chest.
“He also told me that I would be able to give you another pup in a foreseeable future…”
Mi’ytiar frowned, asking skeptically, “After what you gone through today?”
You shrugged and leaned your head forward, your cheek pressed against his pec. “I’m not talking about now or tomorrow, my love, but someday. In a few years, maybe.”
Mi’ytiar bristled, a loud rumble shaking his torso. “No.”
“No?”
“No.” He shook his head, a very human gesture in your eyes. “You almost died.”
You smiled into his skin. Protective through and through, even when it came to his own offspring.
You were incredibly lucky to be chosen by a Yautja like him. 
It was rare for them to be interested in a human. It was rarer for them to treat that human-like an equal instead of a slave or one of many lovers. It was the rarest for a human to be injected with Yautja blood to largely adapt to their DNA and enable life on their planet.
And Mi’ytiar told you himself — you were the only human ever being Life-Mated to a Yautja who carried his offspring and had a similar leading role as him as the mate of a leader; all in one.
You were the rarest of the rarest, a uniqueness, something completely new.
But humans had birthed Yautja-Human-hybrids long before you, most of them more than one or two.
“The next time will be different, Mi’ytiar. My body will be stronger and mentally I will be more prepared.” You told him and peppered his chest with feather-light kisses before you looked up at him again, a loving smile on your lips. “You shan’t lose me.”
You whimpered in relief when you finally heard the familiar growling bark of a Hell Hound. 
“Be'jaa!” You called, “I’m… here!”
You felt something move under you and fill the free space between your bend-over position against the tree. You opened your eyes, which you had closed to calm yourself and your breath, and looked down to see the Hound’s face already fixed on yours.
“N‘yaka-de. Get him.” You panted and watched as Be'jaa turned around to run.
When he suddenly stopped to walk hesitantly back to you, not liking the fact he was about to leave you behind who was obviously in distress, you stomped with your foot and yelled, “Be'jaa, fucking now!”
He darted off and you felt a tinge of guilt for lashing out. After all, he was loyal and a surprisingly good cuddle partner.
“Argh!” You cried out when another stabbing sensation almost made your legs give out.
Once again it felt like you were being torn apart, but at least you didn‘t feel like you were closer to death than life like at Akail‘s birth over 30 years ago. You were kind of proud of yourself, actually, considering you were still able to stand. 
Yeah, standing against a tree for support instead of lying in your warm and soft nest where you had actually planned to deliver your second pup. You didn‘t want to give birth in an unsafe environment, with no Mi’ytiar and no Cahrein. 
But who would have expected that your pup was ready to be welcomed into the world on a hunt?
You did. 
You had felt premature labor pains for two days now, but you hadn’t paid them any mind as Akail was born only six days after those pains had started. 
But even those pains had felt different in those two days, so why hadn‘t you just listened to your body when it undoubtedly told you “No!” while you answered Mi’ytiar‘s question “Hunt?” with an enthusiastic “Yes!” ?
You knew the answer to that, too. 
While women on Earth had to stop certain activities at one point in their pregnancy and were limited in their doings, Yautja females could still follow their everyday lives throughout their whole pregnancy. Meaning, they could still jump from one obstacle to another, chase their prey, and kill it. 
Thinking that you were able to do that too had been utterly stupid and arrogant, but you just didn’t want to seem weak. Yes, the clan had accepted you and saw you as one of them, as the mate of their leader, but you couldn’t stop the suffocating need to prove yourself again and again.
It was unnecessary. Mi’ytiar had told you that, Cahrein had told you that, the Females you liked to spend your time with and considered friends told you that and, hell, even a few Males that were close to your mate told you that.
But here you were, crying and groaning when another contraction cursed through your body. You regretted leaving your cozy home, regretted not being pampered by your loving mate in your nest, and regretted leaving your son behind, who had been by your side all the time, hovered over you in case he had to step in should you need anything in your state, followed you around like a lost puppy if you weren’t napping in your nest.
It reminded you of the time when he had been much younger and much smaller. He had been practically attached to your hip and everywhere you went, he was there. He had been such an adorable and shy little boy. Who were you kidding? He still was, but you missed those times anyway. He had grown up too fast.
You were nervous.
With your arms wrapped tightly around your body, you watched the hustle and bustle in the distance. They were preparing for the departure of the five Young Bloods who would soon leave for a faraway world to hunt and complete their initiation into Adulthood.
Among them was your son, your Akail, who would leave you for who knows how long to presumably search for the largest and most dangerous beast and kill it to prove himself.
Just like his father, you thought.
In the first year of your relationship, Mi'ytiar had told you everything imaginable about himself, and one evening about his own initiation ritual. He had told you how reckless and sure of himself he had been as a Young Blood, how he threw himself into danger to impress his clan.
Although that had secured his position as leader, he’d summoned his son the day before to admonish him to proceed with caution, to be logical and strategic, and to not let arrogance control him.
Lost in worried thoughts, you didn't notice as Mi'ytiar approached you, dropped to one knee, and pulled you to his torso with his strong arms. He nuzzled his face into your hair, his mandibles running through it.
He loved your hair. It was just as soft as the rest of you.
“What on your mind, yawne?” He asked.
“I’m scared.” You breathed.
“On your home planet, oomans worry too when child leaves?”
You put your hand on one of his arms that was wrapped around you. “They do, but not like this. On Earth, human children leave the safety of their homes every day to go to school, to learn, and then they will return. In a few hours Akail will leave the safety of his home to finish school, so to say, but will he return?” You told him absentmindedly, your attention still fixed on the ship. “Human parents don't have to fear that particular day when their children go on a journey to possibly get killed just because of a custom.”
You felt his arms tighten around you. “Do not be scared.” He said.
“I can’t help it. I’m his mother.”
Mi'ytiar let out a chuckle that sounded more like a growl than an actual laugh.
“And I his father.” He said and turned you around, not loosening the close embrace. “I trained him well. Made him strong and made him smart. Doubting my skills, yawne?”
Although he had already lowered himself, reducing his height to be closer to you, you still had to raise your head to look at him.
God, you loved his eyes. Even though there were rare variations at times among their kind — sometimes a lighter shade, sometimes a darker shade, sometimes more orange than yellow — the eyes of all Yautja had the same color.
But to you, Mi'ytiar’s eyes were different, even though one couldn’t possibly spot a difference when he was standing next to other Yautja. To you, they were brighter, more intense, more expressive. Or maybe it was just the way he looked at you, with so much gentle affection and love you wouldn't credit a beast of his stature with.
“Of course, I’m not. I could never.”
You suddenly could feel large arms engulfing your body from behind, pulling you into an upright-standing position, and you just let yourself instinctively fall into their embrace.
You knew those limbs, knew their warmth and their strength.
“Mi’ytiar, the pup… the pup is coming.” You panted and dug your fingernails into his forearm.
You felt him move behind you. He lifted you up, his arms supporting your back and the back of your knees as he held you to his torso. He briefly registered how you quickly wrapped your arms around his neck before he took off.
He ran like he never did. At the same time, he was careful not to let your body jolt around too much as he jumped over fallen tree trunks and climbed rocks to reach the Scout Ship while you clung to him.
Every time a contraction hit, he could feel your body tense in his arms and your mouth press against his chest as you muffled another scream.
Oh, how he wished he could take away the pain, but at least it wasn’t as horrible as it was at Akail’s birth.
Mi’ytiar remembered your glistening tears and your little withering body, how you had squeezed his hand so hard that even he had felt pain, and how you had begged both him and Cahrein to stop it. Especially the fear of death in your eyes haunted him to this day.
He had almost lost you — you, his precious human — all those years ago and it had been his entire fault.
The possibility of becoming a father had been zero, non-existent, and at one point in his life, he had accepted the fact that he may be not meant to be a father. He stopped caring and someday just forgot about it entirely. The wish to continue his line like any proud leader faded away and instead he settled for the idea of passing on his knowledge and experiences to the pups and Younglings of his people.
Then he met you, this petite beautiful thing, when he was lounging on a building near an alley. He heard you before he saw you, heard you and them.
They were calling you strange names and were whistling after you before they decided to follow you down the street. Trying to escape them, you took a left turn and quickened your strides as you crossed the alley.
Mi’ytiar, who was attracted by the noises, slid down the rooftop and soundlessly landed on the metal balcony of one of the apartments. Even from the third floor, he had a perfect view of what was happening down in the alley as the men grabbed you, pushed and pulled on you, and he felt mildly impressed when you started fighting back; kicking, scratching and screaming.
The men’s playful, taunting behavior quickly turned fatal when one of them, fed up with your attempts to flee, slapped you so hard across the face that you stumbled back, tripped over your own feet and fell backwards to the ground.
Your screams quickly turned desperate when one of them pushed up your skirt and tore on your panties, mumbling something about teaching you a lesson, while his companions held you down.
At this point, Mi’ytiar knew something had been wrong. Mating between a Yautja male and female consisted of fighting each other, too, but not like this; not with more than one male and not with the female resisting long after the male fought the female into submission.
Your behavior told him everything he needed to know — you weren’t even close to being interested in mating with those males — and before things could get any worse, he jumped down and killed those who forced themselves on you.
By the time four bodies in various morbid states of dismemberment were littering the alley, your whole body was trembling as you stayed on the ground, cowering.
He had crouched down to your level and one of his bloodied claws reached out to touch your face, your horror-widened eyes watching him with caution.
To him, you were what a kitten was to a human. You were so small, he noted, so small and soft and pink. He also thought you were beautiful, contrastive to what Yautja usually thought about your kind. He took you with him that night and the rest was history.
Even though you weren’t a suitable mate, his clan begrudgingly accepted the idea of a human being with their leader. He couldn’t have pups anyway, so why not just let him indulge himself and let him seek happiness and pleasure in other things?
And then, one day, you told him about your wish to carry his pup. He had been excited, absolutely ecstatic, but not about the image of your rounding belly with his offspring — he knew he was unable to have one — and rather about the fact that you were willing to mate with him in a way that could lead to a child. The fact you loved him and trusted him enough was all he cared about.
As much as he loved his son, he should have done something the second both of you learned that you were pregnant. He had been so overjoyed his human mate was extraordinarily able to have his pup that he never thought about possible consequences.
Anyone would have had serious doubts and would have objected because there was no way a human would survive that, but Mi’ytiar didn’t, too blown away by the prospect of becoming a father.
That changed as the day of the pup being due crept closer and closer, and slowly worry and fear set in.
And to make one thing clear: if you hadn’t been injected with Yautja blood from the beginning — first daily, then weekly, then monthly, until it stopped years ago — you wouldn’t have made it and Akail would have torn you apart from the inside out.
He was glad that Cahrein had kept a cool head and realized that his blood would help you when all other means had failed.
It was like history was repeating itself as he tried to focus on the task at hand — getting you to the ship — and not let the fluid running down his arms and body distract him. He wished he hadn’t dared to look down, to look down and see the blood you were losing, coming from a source that was his fault.
Why did he let you convince him to have a second pup? Why did the mere thought of getting you pregnant again make him so ignorant of your near-death experience? Why did he listen to Cahrein when he told the both of you that another pup was possible? Why did he forget that you weren’t like his kind?
His heavy, thumping footsteps suddenly sounded different, and when you pulled your face away from his chest to look around, you noticed the soft earth of the forest had been replaced by the cold metal of the ship.
As careful and gentle as he could in his rattled state, he put you down on the closest surface he could find — the table used for planning, briefing, and orientation with several holo-maps — and slammed his fist down on the surface. He growled and hissed a few words you couldn’t understand. Your translating earpieces were perfectly fine, but your brain was only picking up the pain shooting through your body instead of noticing any stimuli from your surroundings.
You were so out of it, the tears blurring your view, that you missed the conversation between Mi’ytiar and the holographic image of Cahrein.
“Mi’ytiar.” Cahrein greeted his leader in the customary way of placing his left fist on the right side of his chest while slightly bowing down his head.
“The pup is coming.” Mi’ytiar said without hesitation, straight to the point.
Cahrein rounded the table to stand next to him and he leaned over you to get a better look at you. He reached out to grab your calves to open your legs, but his hands went right through you.
“Pauk. I can’t help her like this. You have to bring her here.”
“No.” You cried out, answering before Mi’ytiar could even open his mouth. “The pup is coming now.”
Cahrein looked conflicted, contemplating about what to do next as he was restricted in his actions. He could already tell that this was going to be hard.
“Mi’ytiar, I packed a Medicomp for emergencies when you said you two would go hunt. Get it.”
You let out a whine when your mate disappeared from your side, which was quickly occupied by the healer who noticed your distress. “Calm, (Y/N), calm.”
“It hurts so much.” You cried out.
“I know.” He retorted and eyed the red fluid running down your thighs to your calves, dripping down your toes. “You need to take off clothes.”
With trembling hands, you started to open the pants-like cloth that hugged your legs like a second skin and circled them from your ankles up to your hips. You struggled with the complicated lacing and cursed as you began to rip on them out of frustration.
Bigger hands replaced yours and when you looked up, you saw that Mi’ytiar had returned and stood between your legs. He used his sharp claws to cut the cords open and he pulled the rest of the garment down. He was more considerate with the bloodied panties underneath and tried not to rip them, although you believed that they were irreversibly ruined.
The first and last time he had torn your panties to shreds, you had scolded him for it after he was done fucking you from behind like a dog in his rut. You didn’t have much of your human clothes left — most of it had been replaced by self-made clothes of local fabrics inspired by their style anyway — but what you definitely wanted to keep was your underwear. So when Mi’ytiar returned to you one day from a spontaneous trip to Earth with a dozen new undies, you had been more than thankful.
Mi’ytiar grabbed your ankles, placed both of your feet flat on the table, and spread your thighs apart, stepping aside for Cahrein to finally take a look at you.
The healer’s holo-image got down on his knees and peered between them at what was happening between your legs.
You wanted to hide and press them back together, but you knew that it wasn’t much of help and just let him do his thing. Instead, you let your head loll to the side and looked at your mate.
Mi’ytiar had his hands in fists, keeping them tightly pressed to his sides, and he watched Cahrein with concern and something else in his eyes. You knew he was worried about you. He tried to hide it, tried putting his true feelings behind the mask of a collected and strong leader and warrior like he always did in dicey situations, but you could see right through it.
“And?” He urged Cahrein to finally give him an answer.
“She is ready. She has to push.”
“What about the blood?”
“Incidental. She has to push.”
So that’s what you did.
Taking a deep breath and gripping the edge of the table for the support, you strained every muscle in your body. The resulting, blood-curdling scream even got the two Yautja to flinch and Mi’ytiar lunged forward. He pried your fingers away from the table where you had been holding on for dear life, and intertwined them with his. You instantly squeezed them and Mi’ytiar let out a surprised hiss.
After a moment, your tense body slumped down. It simply gave up after not being able to endure the pain any longer.
“You need to keep going.”
“I can’t.” You hiccuped, choking on your tears as you shook your head vehemently.
“You can. You did this 30 years ago. It was impressive. I never expected such a tiny creature to survive, but you did. You will again.” Cahrein turned to Mi’ytiar and pointed to the Medicomp. “Take the syringe, take your blood and inject it.”
Rather reluctantly, he loosened the hold you had on him and opened the Medicomp. He rummaged through it, found the syringe, and jabbed it into the flesh of his arm, uncaring of the following pain. You were far more important than anything else right now.
While he filled the syringe with his fluorescent-green blood, Cahrein was talking to you and encouraged you to keep going. He tried to distract you and keep your mind from drifting off to a place of no return.
“Something is wrong.” He murmured after a while.
He had watched Mi’ytiar inject you with three doses of his blood already, but you still were in agonizing pain. You even had lost consciousness twice, something that hadn’t even happened when you birthed your first pup.
You squeezed your eyes shut and only opened them again when the pain subsided a bit. “W-What?”
“You should have started crowning already, but you don’t.”
“Why?” You asked in a long-drawn cry.
Cahrein, for the first time in over thirty years, looked baffled and completely clueless. He couldn’t explain it as he had no idea himself. There had never been complications when the females of his clan gave birth. You were the only exception.
“What are typical problems that arise for oomans during childbirth?” He asked, not knowing what else he could do.
It took a moment until you became aware that you had been asked a question.
“Am-Amniotic fluid e-enters the bloodstream… the u-uterus tears… the ba-baby is in an abnormal p-position… it’s s-stuck…” You offered between pained huffs, trying to come up with as many options as you could think of. “In most emergencies, w-when a natural birth isn’t possible, they d-do a c-section… they cut into t-the woman’s belly a-and get the baby out... and then…”
Mi’ytiar wanted you to stop talking. He wanted you to stop putting images of your cut-open body in front of him. He wanted you to stop making him think of your lifeless form after the pup was pulled out of it.
“You have to incise into her abdomen. I will instruct you.” Cahrein finally said.
Mi’ytiar immediately straightened his back and let out a roar. “No!”
“If you do it, either the pup and (Y/N) survive, or just the pup... but if you do nothing, then they will both die.” Cahrein pressed and eyed you for a second.
You were running out of time.
“I… I can’t.”
He sounded defeated. You had never ever expected to see him like this — so vulnerable, so hopeless, so broken. He was the definition of strength, of courage, of accountability, of resilience, and now only a hollow shadow of the man he was was standing in front of you, thinking about the chance of losing his entire world.
He couldn’t lose you. He couldn’t.
How could it be possible for him to live, breathe, without you?
He had a taste of a life he never wanted to leave, a life he wasn’t able to quit, a life only something as extraordinary as you could give him. Not because you were human, although that was probably one of the aspects, but because you were you.
He loved you.
You had taught him that love was the most valuable thing to a person. Love was worth more than anything else in life. It was such a strong, overwhelming feeling no one could put exactly into words until one actually felt it.
And he loved you.
“No, Mi’ytiar… you have to, you have to.” You urged him between panting breaths. “Save our… our baby. Forget me… ju-just save our son… please.”
Mi’ytiar looked down at you as you begged him to do something he wasn’t willing to do in a million years. Cahrein would have hesitated in his stead, but he wasn’t your mate and would have cut into you. Mi’ytiar, on the other hand, could never do something that would harm you.
But he already did, though. He had doomed you the second his seed took.
“Mi’ytiar!” Cahrein barked and pulled the male out of his thoughts.
His body was on autopilot when his hand reached for a scalpel-like tool from the Medicomp.
“Thank you, thank you!” You cried out.
The only thing you felt was relief as your body slowly went numb, tears clouding your view. Everything around you became blurry and Mi'ytiar started to disappear. The world around you grew darker and darker as he set the sharp blade onto your skin and slowly applied pressure, cutting into you until blood flowed onto the table, and down to the floor of the ship, creating a red puddle.
You never even registered the feeling of him cutting you open.
Your body shut down before you could.
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continue with the fourth part He Shall Prevail
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