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aemiron-main · 5 months

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The Most Evil Man In Hawkins: Don Melvald and Brenner Sr (Ft Richard Brenner and Brenner Sr's Punk Era/Axel Delivering Brenner Subtext and Ketamine)

So, Mark Hammersley posted this picture of himself as Brenner Sr:

And then, right after that Brenner Sr picture, he posted this picture of himself as Don Melvald:

And look at the caption- "secretly the most evil man in Hawkins"- that's an interesting caption for a guy that's supposedly a random store owner- it's almost the sort of caption that woudl fit better with Brenner Sr. It's almost like Brenner Sr and Don Melvald are being connected here, especially with how often Brenner gets referred to as "man"/"the man" in-show versus Don getting called "the most evil man" in this caption.

Hell, Kali even refers to Brenner as "a man you knew was evil":

And of course, I take everything that's said/posted by actors with a HUGE grain of salt, and on its own, Mark’s caption isn't particularly strong evidence of some sort of subtext/connection related to Brenner Sr and Don Melvald- but there's three key things that piqued my interest here and led me to believe that there IS some sort of Melvald-Brenner connection:

1.) Mark Hammersley himself has posted before about how he has to be super careful about what he posts on social media re: TFS & how people from Netflix/people in charge check/approve TFS social media posts (and other cast members have talked about how they have ‘ironclad NDAs’)- which makes it suspicious that the Brenner Sr post was deleted and is no longer on Mark's page:

2.) Even when Brenner Sr and Don Melvald aren't played by Mark Hammersley, they ARE always played by the same actor (at least every time I saw the play & every BTS pic etc I've seen supports this & even if it's hard to tell from my screenshots, that is 1000000% the same actor playing both of them in TFS). So, even setting Mark himself entirely aside, there IS an intentional production choice/casting choice that connects Brenner Sr and Don Melvald:

3.) The in-show, NON TFS Don Melvald has an EERY resemblance to Brenner. Look at the hair- not only does he have the same "pushed back grey with white streaks" style as Brenner, but his hair is also parted on the RICHARD side/towards screen left, which ties into something I'm going to talk about in a second. And there''s also Don's white grid shirt versus the white HNL grid tiles and Owens' white grid shirt- and Don also wears a grid shirt and cardigan combo like Owens does, with the blue coat over top and everything (and Don's cardigan seems to be dark green, much like in-show Young Henward's dark green cardigan):

And what's extra suspicious about all of this is Melvald's being advertised as a drug store versus Richard Brenner being the head of the Narcotics Enforcement division, and all of the drug dealer Reefer Rick vs Richard Brenner stuff (it’s also very funny to me that the guy that’s talking about “when did Rick get out of jail?” has the same sort of white and grey beard as TFS Don Melvald and Brenner Sr):

And on that note, going back to what I said in the beginning about Kali's line re: "a man you knew was evil," IMO, this is another piece that connects all of this specifically to Richard because Richard is likley the man that Kali is referring to/the man that Ray worked with, as Richard seems to be the guy that we see in the flashbacks with Ray during Terry's electrocution:

Anyway, it's also an interesting choice for Don Melvald to have brown eyes as opposied to both Brenner Sr and Brenner Jr's brown eyes versus Flayed Will's brown eyes... what's going on??? And also regarding Brenner Sr and Don Melvald being played by the same actor in TFS/being identical, this "sex, drugs, and Elvis" line about Melvald's from TFS stuck out to me:

It stuck out to me because: A.) It connects Melvalds to drugs again, which therefore connects Melvald's to Richard Brenner again. And B.) It references Elvis, which, as we know, and as I'm sure Stav's talked about, that connects to the "Elvis Cloned By Aliens" newspaper article.

So, connecting Melvald's to Elvis therefore connects Melvald's to cloning- which is supsicious considering that TFS Don Melvald is identical to Brenner Sr/played by the same actor. Quick, Don, you wouldn't happen to be some sort of copy/clone of Brenner Sr, would you? Even in the sense of TFS involving some of Brenner Jr's memories in a weird simulation way/the way that the bloody hands memory invades NINA for El, and so, Brenner Jr's memories of Brenner Sr might be invading TFS in a similar way???

And also, the Elvis Cloned By Aliens paper has that article titled “Sailor Cheats Death In Ordeal At Sea," which further connects the cloning stuff to Brenner Sr because Brenner Sr cheated death at sea and returned (albeit briefly) from Project Rainbow/the USS Eldridge, whereas the rest of his crew did not. Brenner Sr, do you have clones running around?? Also, it's interesting that TFS Don Melvald a.) looks so different from in-show Don Melvald, with TFS Don having a beard vs in-show Don being clean-shaven, which reminds me of Brenner Sr's beard in TFS vs in-show Brenner being clean-shaven and b.) Don Melvald is already greying/older looking when Joyce is in highschool in TFS- and yet, many years later, the in-show Don Melvald looks younger than the TFS Don/it doesnt seem to make sense for in-show Don to be TFS Don age-wise- which makes me think about how TFS Brenner Jr doesn't age, and also the whole Brenner Sr vs Brenner Jr thing- is the TFS version of Don actually Don Melvald Sr vs the in-show don being Don Melvald Jr? Anyway!

And also, when we look at more of Don's in-show scenes, he has a line about bringing Jeffrey in to cover for Joyce. Which is interesting considering all of the weirdness with cover actors in TFS and the fact that it almost seems like Brenner Sr's actor is "covering" for Don Melvald's actor or vice versa, even though that doesn't seem to actually be the case/Don's been intentionally casted since the start to be played by whicever actor is playing Brenner Sr. It's also extra interesting that Don is having a guy named Jeffrey/Jeff cover for Joyce here, versus Jeff from the Hellfire Club being present at the table in S4 when Dustin and Mike are told to go and find somebody to cover for Lucas. And Jeff's also the guy that pointed out that Eddie's been saying that he's going to run out of Hawkins High for two years, which then connects to what I've talked about before re: Eddie being stuck in highschool for an extra two years versus Edward Creel moving to Hawkins two years before Henry did- and Jeff also wears a Black Sabbath shirt later on vs what I talked about in this post and this post re: Eddie Munson vs Edward Creel and Black Sabbath/Ozzy Osbourne And Jeff is ALSO the one that yells at Jason to "let him go" when Jason grabs Gareth, which then connects to El talking about how Brenner couldn't let Henry go:

Anyway, we also have this shot of the Halloween masks at Melvald's General Store- and that mummy mask looks a LOT like Brenner Sr's Invisible Man-esque bandaged face after he returned from Project Rainbow- and that mask from Melvald’s is also the same mask that Axel wears:

And speaking of Axel, Axel has something in common with TFS Virginia- they’re both terrified of spiders, TFS Henry shows Virginia a vision of spiders crawling towards her/onto her, just like Kali does with Axel, and Virginia freak out just like Axel does:

(And TFS Virginia was locked in a closet full of spiders as a child, which, considering the connection to Brenner Sr via Axel here, makes me wonder a.) if Brenner Sr ever locked any of his kids/Brenner Jr in a closet/trunk, esp considering the Will-Brenner parallels & Jonathan checking Lonnie’s trunk for Will, as well as all of the locker imagery in TFS & the Davy Jones’ Locker association re: Brenner Sr being a sailor and b.) if TFS Virginia might be one of Brenner Sr’s kids, but anyway)

And hilariously, that whole Virginia-Henry scene about the spiders not only happens RIGHT after the scene of Henry at Melvald's/he's JUST come home from Melvald's to find Virginia waiting up for him, but also, the whole reason the conflict started/the whole reason that line about Virginia and the spiders was even said is because Virginia was upset about Henry going to Melvald's with Patty. Alll roads really do lead to Melvald's at this point.

And regarding that Brenner Sr-Virginia connection, isn't it then funny that the mask in question that Axel wears & that resembles Brenner Sr’a bandages is a mummy mask vs Brenner Sr being connected to Henry's mom via Axel delivering Brenner Sr subtext & having the same sort of spider fear as TFS Virginia?

PLUS, we have Kali putting Axel's Brenner Sr-esque mask onto El- El, who's a girl, which further connects to the weird “Brenner Sr vs Virginia/mother/woman” stuff going on here (and is also interesting considering El being mistaken for a boy in S1):

And also, Kali says that Axel is a “terrible dancer,” after she makes the spiders appear and Axel “dances” around about it, versus TFS Henry talking about how he “doesn’t dance/isnt a good dancer” and then the scene of TFS Henry dancing at Melvald’s right before the spider scene with Virginia:

And ALSO, we get a shot of Axel holding Chinese food, versus S1 Karen saying “am I speaking Chinese in this house?” versus Don Melvald being RIGHT behind Karen at Will’s funeral & the context of the “am I speaking Chinese” scene being about Will’s disappearance/“death”, therefore connecting the “speaking Chinese” scene to that funeral scene & therefore connecting the “speaking Chinese” scene to Don Melvald, which then connects back to Axel (who wears the mask that’s sold at Melvald’s) holding Chinese food, and THEN there’s ALSO Nancy talking about “house arrest” right after Karen says that “speaking Chinese” line versus Reefer Rick delivering subtext about Richard Brenner & the guys on the boat talking about Reefer Rick getting arrested and the “China doll” lyric playing RIGHT after that line, PLUS the newspaper article about Richard Brenner talking about how the documents involving him were “heavily coded,” versus TFS Henry’s DIY code, and Robin cracking the S3 code versus a key part of the S3 code being Chinese food (which Axel was holding), and the S3 code line being “a trip to China sounds nice,” versus the idea of tripping on drugs and what I’m going to talk about later re: Axel, Richard, Reefer Rick and Ketamine and Richard Brenner being the head of narcotics:

And Axel also has this shot where he cocks a pistol, which makes me think of the scene in TFS where Brenner Sr/Don Melvald’s actor does the same sort of thing/raises a pistol towards the audience kind of randomly/there’s no clear reason as to why he did it:

And we also have the shots of Axel walking with his black coat flowing out dramatically behind him, JUST like S1 Brenner walking with his black coat flowing out dramatically behind him (and also, there’s something about the anarchy symbol on Axel’s shirt vs TFS Henry’s weird x and circle scar on his hand):

And just briefly, this part is a tiny bit more of a stretch admittedly, but it IS a little funny to me that Axel tries to steal cigarettes from the convenience store/is very prominently framed by cigarette ads- cigarettes, also known as fags- versus TFS Henry’s vanishing in the cave in Nevada/Henry’s in-show HNL kidnapping re: the Creel Murders and Will’s vanishing and both Henry and Will being gay/being “fags”.

Like, isn’t it just a little suspicious that Axel, the character with constant Brenner Sr & Richard Brenner references, is stealing fags? Versus Brenner’s long-running habit of stealing another type of fag?

Especially considering the connection that Kali’s gang has to London versus fag being British slang for cigarette??

And especially considering that the only time the word “fag” is used in ST is regarding Will (and hilariously, Joyce even raises her cigarette right into frame when she says it)- versus the connection between Richard Brenner and Will, with how the article about Richard is right under the article about Will’s vanishing:

And on a more obvious note re: Brenner St, Richard Brenner and Axel, there’s also the shot of Dottie holding up two bottles of prescription drugs/narcotics in front of Axel’s face- versus Richard Brenner being the head of the Narcotic Enforcement Division, and Axel’s visual connection to Brenner Sr via his mask and said mask being from Melvald’s, which was advertised as a drug store- point is, the connection between Brenner Sr, Don Melvald, Richard Brenner, and Axel continues:

And we also get this shot of Axel going into the kids’ room at Ray Carroll’s house- a kids’ room with rainbows on the wall (versus Brenner and the HNL rainbow room), and a closet very prominently featured in the shot (versus what I talked about earlier re: Virginia and Axel’s fear of spiders and Virginia having been locked in a closet full of spiders as a child), as well as the operator telling the girls to “stay calm” in this scene vs Henward telling El to “stay calm” during NINA in the rainbow room (which it’s also interesting to me that the operator that Henward gets paralleled to is a girl versus a.) the whole “henry creel isn’t a chick” thing in TFS and b.) what ive talked about with how during this very chess scene, Henward is visually paralleled to 007, who is a girl):

^And as a tangential note, it’s interesting to me that NINA Henward is paralleled to a phone operator here vs the NINA phonebooth scene vs the operator in The Matrix, and how operators are typically humans born outside of The Matrix versus Henward being the only lab kid that was born outside of the lab:

And in the bedroom, Axel finds two girls who seem like they might be twins- and not only do they seem like they might be twins, but they also a.) have dark brown hair that’s very similar to 15 year old Brenner’s hair colour & texture as well as 7 year old Henry’s hair colour and texture (and speaking of 15 year old Brenner’s hair, El’s slicked back dark punk hair also reminds me a lot of 15 yr old Brenner’s hair) and b.) they’re paralleled to Alice Creel with the night gowns & their father literally sharing a last name with the author of Alice in Wonderland, Lewis Carroll:

Not to mention that one of the girls is wearing a nightgown with a print that’s eerily similar to the HNL lab gown print- and also reminds me of Suzie’s nightgown, which is interesting considering how similar the rainbows on the Carroll girls’ wall is to the rainbow on Suzie’s Muppet Movie/Rainbow Connection poster and how Suzie’s dark hair is so similar to the Carroll girls & the NINA rainbow room vs the Carroll girls’ rainbow wallpaper & Suzie’s connections to NINA & Suzie even having a phone in her room RIGHT under that rainbow connection poster that’s the same colour as the Carroll girls’ phone- and the nightgown ALSO reminds me of TFS Virginia’s nightgown (vs what I just said about the Carroll girls’ closet connection to Virginia), as well as the random bloody nightgown that appears on the laundry line during Max’s Vecna vision:

And the pose of the Carroll girls reminds me of the pose that in-show Young Henward has in this picture- especially since Young Henward has his murder night outfit on in that picture and we still don’t know who called the police on the night of the Creel murders versus the Carroll girls talking on the phone to the 911 operator about the police arriving (also, the use of the word “honey” from the operator here makes me wonder if we’ll get a parallel dialogue line of Henry calling the police the night of the Creel murders where that says “the police are on their way, Henry. Okay?”):

And also, this is something I’ve had a draft about for like a year now & haven’t finished so I’ll put a bit of it in this post, but it’s interesting to me that Axel calls Kali “K,” versus “K,” being used as a short form way of referring to “Ketamine,” versus Eddie Munson talking to Chrissy about Ketamine & Chrissy calling it “Special K” and all of the Richard Brenner vs Reefer Rick drug stuff/Eddie Munson getting his drugs (the Ketamine) from Reefer Rick, versus Axel, who’s constantly connected to Richard Brenner and Brenner Sr, referring to Kali as “K”:

Which also makes me think of the connection between Will and Richard Brenner and the S1 line about how Will’s vanishing left a “hole” in the community” versus the Ketamine experience called a “K Hole,” that causes intense dissociation and “out of body experiences” (which has me staring at my draft about the CIA in 1983s and the Gateway Technique/astral projection) and can also cause distortion of time and space, hallucinations, memory loss, psychosis, and more. Which makes me think about a.) Henward’s apparent memory loss after the Creel murders/El’s memory loss after the massacre & that scene being a parallel to Henward fainting after the Creel murders, as well as Will weirdly not mentioning (or possibly not remembering) his time in the upside down, and b.) all of the hallucination and psychosis stuff associated with Henward, especially with TFS Henry.

There’s a lot more I have to say about Ketamine/K Hole symptoms, dissociation, MKULTRA (because one of the key goals of MKULTRA experiments was inducing dissociation), Henry vs Edward, etc etc, especially since k hole experiences are often associated with visions of aliens/alien experiences vs TFS Henry’s alien stuff re: Rachel, Nevada and all of the Brenner alien stuff, but I’ll put that all in the actual ketamine post/I’ll go and finish that post.

And they also show us a scene of Troy specifically repeating the line about a “hole” versus bladder problems being a symptom of repeated k hole experiences and El making Troy wet himself:

Anyway! Lots to think about, I’d love to know what the hell is going on with Don Melvald vs Brenner Sr and all of the connections to China and codes etc etc!!!

#stranger things #the first shadow #henry creel #richard brenner #edward creel #captain brenner #don melvald

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ourflagmeansgayrights · 1 year

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ofmd s2e1 rewatch where i pause to jot down my thoughts and other random shit

not quite a reaction post bc i've already watched the whole thing. not quite a liveblog bc it's one post and it's probably gonna take me a full hour to get through a 28 minute episode at the rate of pausing and typing i'll be doing

s2e1, s2e2, s2e3, s2e4, s2e5, s2e6, s2e7, s2e8

anyway, pirate time:

i love how much fun con is having choking on his own blood

dream!stede's extremely teary face right before he takes off running down the beach is doing psychic damage to me

also dream!stede's stupid ridiculous outfit with all the long ribbons and shit...

ed and stede make contact so hard shjfkhsgjkfd the loud OUGH sounds from both of them

also the return of ed's old beard! i didnt expect to see her at all this season, so that was a surprise.

"babe" "love" im tearing out my own hair

stede has yet to learn that ripping ass near your beloved can be a love language

stede is a terrible fucking roommate just deal with wee john's gas in silence like the rest of them. goddamn.

WHO HAS THE OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH TRAMP STAMP. WHO IS THAT.

i like when the background OST is familiar to me lol the little strings when stede starts his letter throwing me back to s1

olu: that–that's the swede the swede: Im the swede roach: he's single ;) me: *pissing my pants with laughter*

also the direct confirmation that the swede literally doesn't have a name. incredible

shjkfhdhfkj the crew encouraging him. stede's "it's okay" and roach "be brave" im CRYINGGGGG

stede doing customer service is something that can be so personal. "reservation?" "eat my fuckin' shit" "right! walk-ins, then" average restaurant experience

the random background guy saying "my favorite hand!" abt getting stabbed in the hand is making me giggle. i love the humor on this show

why does stede have so much shoulder movement going on when he's walking through the bar. whore behavior.

"this is for mom!" sorry but i want to know more abt whatever's going on there

also the purple mohawk. dope.

buttons is so distressed LET HIM RETURN TO THE SEA THESE CONDITIONS ARE INHUMANE

"i know the odds of you finding this are slim but so were the odds of us finding each other in the first place" IM RIPPING OFF MY OWN SKIN

also stede's lil sad hopeful smile after throwing the bottle... i care him

i love how they make this wedding fucking suck so we don't feel too bad abt the whole massacre thing. "the natural condition of humanity is base and vile. it is the obligation of people of standing, such as yourselves, to elevate the common human rabble through the sacred transaction of matrimony" if i was at a wedding and the officiant said that i'd also start killing people probably

yayy murder montage :)

FANG BREAKING THAT GUY'S SPINE OVER HIS KNEE

the whole cake scene is so fucking funny im sorry. i love u jim drawing the line at attacking a shitty wedding. i love u archie who wasn't here for the good old days so you dont really see a problem with how things are. i love u frenchie with ur box in ur brain that u never open again. i love u fang it's gonna get better i swear. i love u frenchie again bc u just took the cake right out of fang's hands while he was fucking sobbing hfjhgkjhdkjkf

I MISS IVAN JUSTICE FOR IVAN. wish they could've said he'd just fucked off somewhere instead of dying but i think that would've raised the question of why hasn't anyone else fucked off since they all seem so miserable

very relieved that stede isn't taking the racist/antisemitic caricature drawings of ed to make like a boyfriend scrapbook like some people were theorizing. would've been overkill if after episode 4 from last season stede still didn't realize that ed hated these sorts of depictions of him.

INTERESTING DETAIL THO the background music in this scene is "a pirate's life" aka the song frenchie sang in the pilot. it's an instrumental version obviously but yeah i recognize that tune

also more cool background ppl with dyed hair man i love this show

zheng yi sao flirting with olu is so good. he deserves it.

how nice of ed to offer his drugs to the crew. sharing is caring.

also it's so funny to me that the thing izzy is tormented by is ed saying "you can't do the job, someone else will" the toe thing's happened three times and apparently that was fine but the thing the show edits together right before izzy breaks down into the most pathetic aheemheem whimpers isn't any of that it's ed threatening to fire him

also they cut ed throwing knives at izzy!! what the hell.

releasing the clip of izzy crying kinda ruined it for me when it came time to watch it in the show bc i watched it several times since it dropped and now seeing it in context i was like "ok i've seen this already fast forward." i mean i didnt fast forward through it but i did kinda zone out bc i've seen this bit already. this post kinda sums up my thoughts on it

"trifling ingrate plan" dshkjfshgdskhfjkhgkjh

"SEMI-CLEAN WATER"

JACKIE CALLING THE SWEDE "BOO CAKES"

"i know that guy we had breakfast together!" "you'll be having a lot of breakfasts-es together" "oh, okay" i fucking love this whole dynamic like i can tell they're writing the swede out of most of the episodes for budget reasons (sorry nat faxon) but by god do they give him such an excellent fucking send-off. can't wait to see him again when he's in his trophy husband number 20 era

roach is upset abt not being able to cook, buttons is tied up so he doesn't go running back to the sea (i assume). stede you are not giving your crew the environment they need to thrive.

olu being an optimist :)

buttons opens his mouth to drink the rain and in the background u can see roach yanking the rope around buttons back fhdjskgfjhgkjfh STEDE YOUR SEA WITCH CANNOT THRIVE IN THESE CONDITIONS

stede tries to make things sound good in his bottle letters to ed but out loud he says his actual insecurities... it's so fucking tasty tho that he thinks ed could be doing better without him and THAT'S why he's been stalling so much. not afraid for his life even a little bit he just assumes he's not wanted. brb i have to cry now

"im sorry if that's a little bit creepy" "you are creepy" in this scene where they're soaked from the rain. ofmd said this prince ricky guys is creepy and wet.

stede's fucking FACE when prince ricky says "you're my hero" his fucking "clearly you dont own an air fryer" face I CANT STAND HIMMMMMM (affectionate)

prince ricky "these rubes" "men of our standing" yeah i cant fucking stand this guy (derogatory) i love how he's barely even in this episode

stede's face when the swede is talking abt how happy he is with jackie... my man believes in love so much im gonna cry

also in what fucking way does the swede owe them a life debt. roach and buttons literally tried to eat him

izzy's "you know me better than anyone knows me and i daresay the same about you" this is literally so false i dont even know where to begin. izzy in e6 being like "if i didnt know any better i'd think maybe ed might possibly maybe be actually enjoying bonnet's company" while ed and stede are giggling and making each other friendship bracelets. this guy doesn't know ed at all.

also i cant get over how izzy wont make eye contact he's like staring blankly into the middle distance delivering these lines so flatly until he goes to say "i have... love for you" and in that moment he looks like he'd rather ed were feeding him more toes.

"im worried about you, we all are" not gonna lie my dude you've had a weird way of showing it thus far. where was all that worry when you told him he was better off dead than wearing a robe and singing songs?? where was that fucking love then?

and NOW izzy wants to talk it through. izzy literally voted to make blackbeard great again and now he wants to give open communication a chance???

lmao there's a limit to how many characters can be in a bulleted list so here's fucking. part two. on the same post:

ed asking everyone if the vibe is poisonous and fang cant stop crying and ed's face is just like "eh good enough" im fdhksgfkjtdkh

anyway ed with a loaded gun under his chin talking to himself is hurting me so fucking much actually. ed my beloved babygirl for whom i would die. this poor traumatized man. yes he is making this workplace toxic as hell but god. GOD. im gonna throw up.

the way ed is so fucking casual about shooting izzy in the leg. just calm and jovial as he promotes frenchie to first mate. stepping over izzy all crumpled on the floor. everything about this is so fucking good. i mean it's horrible for ed and everyone around him but for me watching the show this shit is DELICIOUS. i love when the pirates get violent and unhinged i love when this shit gets fucked up. ed's mental state is so bad right now and it is causing me severe anguish but also it is so tasty. fuck.

anyway frenchie trying to turn down the promotion fhjkghdfjkhf

the cut to the swede performing the husbandly duties is INSANE. COMPLETE TONAL WHIPLASH. I LOVE THIS SHOW.

"fuck those hammies up!" spanish jackie i love you

black pete why are you so fucking loud AND WHY WOULD YOU JIX IT LIKE THAT???

why is prince ricky so small. he's like a full head shorter than stede. also this guy is insufferable i love how stede just fucking abandons him fhjkgdhkdfghkj

"the calf muscle is the most mysterious of alllll the muscles" what the FUCK does that even mean. oh swede i will miss you

NOSE REMOVAL FUCK YES. I LOVE THIS SHOW.

obsessed with the swede playing dumb. the dramatic gasp. "wow, so bad!" fhjsghdkjf

"aint you that soup bitch?" "im the money bitch" i love women.

sfdsjkh spanish jackie being into double-crossing. and slapping the swede's ass on the way out. i love this show

i love how zheng says "this much indigo is worth three times what i paid" while spanish jackie and the husbands are still like, right there. and they just don't hear that bit. incredible.

OUGH the back of jim's weird rope armor looks like a ribcage that's so cool

i love how jim is so fucking bad at telling this story. i love how the monkey's paw comes into it. i love fang asking them to do the voice. i love archie trying to hold back her laughter i love jim and fang giggling together I LOVE THIS SHOW

ed's fucking voice breaking through his whole convo with frenchie. im tearing out my own teeth

HEY DID YOU GUYS KNOW THEY HAVE POST-CREDITS SCENES IN THIS SEASON?????????? WHAT THE HELL

i take back what i said about jim being bad at telling this story their version is so much fucking better. squeaky voice "I pray to you, Dark Lord, to make me real flesh! I want to be real flesh!" IM FUCKING OBSESSED. JIM I WOULD DIE FOR YOU

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writingakanatorior101 · 6 months

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Summary: An obsession with a mobster is something you have in common with police but said mobster being your boss is not. What does Alfie do when he finds out about your obsession.

Warning: Eating out, extreme sexual tension, alfoe patronising ppl

MDNI

He wasn't society's picture of attractive that was for sure with a beard and dark, unkept hair placed under a hat. The way he talked did nothing to help him everyone thought he was mad as hell.

Everyone, including you. But to you, he was hilarious, charming, and even in a way handsome. He was also your boss, well you were just a maid. The obsession was one-sided, really. Doing whatever you could to make your way to his office or near the door outside his meetings. You didn't care for his topics just his voice deep and unsettling it was to anyone who crossed him. But harmony when you were within earshot.

Or maybe it was the way you were so close to the smell of rum and brimstone. He was like the essence of chaos it was like some weird high. You knew everything about him being so close to him. He knows nothing about you. Just some maid in his household.

It was a few months back in a meeting when his eyes fell on you or any attention really pivoted you at all. All the servants were standing around the kitchen he stood in the middle of all of it. Addressing all of us. "Right so stuff is going missing around the fucking house, how is that." His breath is heavy and the silence is enough to scare most of the people in the room. "See the problem is that I think we're all being fucking spied on like like some fucking sheep and wolves. The problem is I wanna know who's doing the spying 'cause it's obviously someone on the inside." His voice raises by the end of the sentence.

But it wasn't that, that was scaring you it was the giggle that came from your mouth when the room was in complete silence while he was in the middle rage shouting for the "meeting". Everyone turned to you before he did. "Ahh yes the maid, is something funny to you." Within seconds he was in front of you he now seemed much bigger than ever. Towering over you.

A giggle erupted again not that it was one of laughter and nervousness. Truth be told you had no idea what was going on or why you were laughing this was all just hilarious. Maybe you had gone mad working for him in these short months or maybe it was just a reaction you had in his presence.

"It's nothing sir please contuinue." You were proud of yourself your voice didn't shake when you talked to him for the first time didn't seem scared at all. "Well, I'm glad this is funny to you." He turns away back to his speech. He turned back to his speech almost as if no one noticed. There's one thing you did notice though the heat pounding at your core the wetness deep between your thighs. You thought for a second he could see that wetness. That would explain the look on his face it wasn't a look of anger but one of satisfaction.

The meeting was released everyone exiting and so were you or so you thought. A voice starts from the back of the kitchen. Causing a deep ache of nervousness in your stomach. "Oi stay here yeah." You turn to meet his eyes they are gleaming like he spotted an opportunity. "Yes, Mr.Solomons what is it."

"Now" he started "I have been seeing you around for a few months, walking and cleaning around me house yeah. You always got a light in your hands sometimes a book hanging out in a corner watching me with those eyes." He moves closer, closer than when he was in the meeting he is nearly on top of you. To where you meet the cold tile wall of the kitchen. The rain outside takes over so loud it shrouds any words coming from the kitchen. No doubt the servaunts would gossip about this if they heard. He moves an arm to the left to trap you "I had people dig into your background to see if maybe you were associated with someone or anything on par with our enemies. I can't find anything as far as I'm concerned you are a normal civilian. From a small village with a small family and the only language you speak is English."

You look up to meet his eyes there a picture,they get a deeper blue when he is enticed with something. "I'm sorry I bored you, sir, that I'm not here spying on you, maybe I just like to watch you you're pretty entertaining."

His hand meets your hip to keep you in place he applies pressure to it. A little moan escapes. A hot blush overtakes your face "I'm sorry sir."

"No you're not, see I have had meetings in my personal office where I ask about you, think about you keep files and tabs on you."

"So small you seem wandering around the office never talked to me once". You can feel him bunching the dress up higher. The. wetness taking over and your mind getting foggy. You wrap your arms around him to keep steady. "Could you even tell I was watching you?" His voice was deeper now it wasn't angry but dominant. You have no response to his questions just a feeling of not wanting to let go of him. Alfie grabs you by your legs lifting you onto him. Now you really feel it the stifness the length. One very very prominent vain not to mention the curve. "Do you see what you do to me, every goddam night this happens because of you."

Finally, something erupts from your mouth that isn't a moan "What do you want me to do about it, sir?" You hug yourself to him now nearly completely off the wall and suffocate him with your boobs. The grip only gets harder so he can have more control. "No, no" he breathes "not like this. I have been on about for months sweetheart." You feel your feet hit the ground. "Sir, please don't leave me like thi-"

He couldn't leave you like this it would simply starve him. The months he dreamed about you, nights in his bed with his hand gripping himself thinking about how your thighs would feel holding onto him, how you tasted if you could take him and walk the next day. But most of your whimpers

Love sit down for me".Alfie still felt tall but there's only one thing you feel. That's the absence between your legs the lack of him or his member. No the only thing you could feel now was the table you were sitting on. Wrapping your arm around the crook of his neck and letting your other hand meet his hip. "Don't go please Mr.Solomons, is you leaving some cruel punishment?" There was a silent pause of him just looking at you. You were too undone for this, that stare could have commanded your soul. It was at that moment that Alfie grabbed your legs and pulled you to the end of the table. You were barely on it now. "There is no need to beg sweetheart I'm not going anywhere." It was now that you felt like you might burst from the sight. He was on his knees with his hands positioned on your ass holding you to him. All the weight from you sat on him you were inches above the table.

You couldn't see Alfie's eyes yet but you're sure they look stunning. Reaching down to caress his hair you feel it. Warmth and the wetness of his tongue. Like an inviting tsunami. His tongue moved in circles just the right way. His nose the way it was swiping your clit and feeling it move up and down was sinful or the way Alfie would say it. Fucking biblical. There it was the thing that sent you over the edge, his fingers long calloused, and thick. Curling inside of you perfectly. His tongue is rougher now less forgiving. The man was tongue fucking you like you gave him air. You could feel everything in and out of his tongue and beard. God his beard fucking beard, it felt cushioned so nicely between you. Alfie's face was going further and further, eventually, you were leaning back on the table again. The maids and rest of the servants could for sure hear now. Your moans were unmanageable and gripping the table was no longer sufficing to hold back the orgasm. Your thighs were shaking Alfie knew you were close.

"Please Mr.Solomons I'm going to be loud, I- I can't help it." Without even so much as a glance or stopping you could hear him breathe against your clit "No said you needed to be quiet love, why I hope you fucking scream." That coveted feeling came back washing over you. A feeling you had felt at night thinking of him. It was like touching the fingers of god. Trying to push Alfies head back to keep him from getting you slick all over his mouth and beard. The man didn't budge though.

You grab ahold of his broad shoulder to steady yourself, legs still shaking for the god-blessed tongue he is fucking welding. "Oi, why are you blushing sweetie. That was beautiful that was, why I had never seen a woman so vulnerable and pretty in a state like that. At this moment it was hard to meet his eyes. You had just fucked your boss.

#alfie solomons #i cant write smut #smut #peaky blinders #thomas shelby

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jaggedwolf · 28 days

Text

pll rewatch 2x17

Emily (and even her phone) are dragged into being secretaries for her friends’ heterosexual dramas :/

Emily literally does not have her own plotline this episode, she just gets absorbed into the Spoby drama. Don’t get me wrong, there’s stuff I love here, like Emily’s comically bad “Spencer is unable to come to the phone right now”

But I am pretty meh on Emily not getting her own stuff to do, and the way the disparity between f/f and f/m relationships on the show feels starker in S2

It’s good/convenient that Caleb is a newcomer to Rosewood, so that when he hacks these videos of a bunch of weirdos hanging out in Ali’s room, it’s not like he has any prior beef or knowledge that would skew his efforts

The girls all think Holden is gay because he’s never tried to kiss Aria. Aria, the one true test for any boy’s heterosexuality apparently.

Do enjoy Emily looking a little smug as she explains what a beard is, even though everyone clearly knows.

My notes: “I’m so bored of Ezria.” Indeed.

We get another glimpse of Halloween 2008 when the girls find the threatening notes A sent Ali, which is a nice connection that episode. Ali really was experiencing it all that night huh.

Toby gets injured via the wobbliest scaffolding sabotage. A really does not want Spoby to date, is extra invested in it, and I’m unclear why.

I mean, A threatened Ezria with reveals before but A saved Ezria via framing Noel and A has never put Ezra’s life in danger.

I wonder if it’s because Toby seems like the SO most likely to be told about A, given that he was investigating Ali’s murder with Spencer back in S1.

Most likely until Spencer’s protective instincts are kicked into overdrive here.

Toby gets to wake up to Jenna giving him all the standard abuser lines blah blah you can’t trust anyone but me blah blah no one is going to care about you like I do blah blah

Complete with creepy leg touch that makes Toby flinch

About Spencer, Jenna says “She’s haunted”. Not that Spencer is dangerous to Toby, but that Spencer is in danger, and by extension Toby’s in range to get hurt

Again, the girls really should tell Caleb, he’s already in danger if A can see someone is hacking into their phone. A’s not gonna be like wow, I bet Aria picked up Hacking For Dummies at the Rosewood Library and is the one exfiltrating my shit

Caleb confidently saying “I can protect you” to Hanna is very funny and very dude though, like bro you don’t even know what it is, and this angle of unearned confidence will only make Hanna more certain you won’t take the threat seriously

So Hanna destroys the thumbdrive in the blender. And later throws the blender in the trash can.

Hanna commits so much waste in this kitchen y’all. She’s thrown away a blender, just opened yogurt cups, uneaten takeout, my wallet winces at all of this.

Jenna is so fucking weird to Emily. Why does Jenna always talk to Emily as if Emily ever wanted to fuck Toby. She’s gay, Jenna. Like here’s their dialogue.

Emily: How dare you come here.

Jenna: Emily? I’d ask you the same thing.

Emily: I’m Toby’s friend.

Jenna: Well, there was a time you wanted to be more than that. Good thing he didn't feel the same way, or things would be awfully confusing with Maya, wouldn't they?

Emily: You're lucky I don't take that stick—

Jenna: Mm, careful, Emily. Misplaced anger can be dangerous.

Is Jenna just sooo distracted by her own rapey ways that she thinks everyone wants to fuck Toby. Maybe so.

Still enjoy Emily being terrible to the blind girl, always the liar most pissed at her somehow.

Oh so now Ella knows about Toby, where was this back when she thought Ezra/Spencer was a thing. Wait, didn’t Toby even come yelling in the police station about how much he loves Spencer too, while the other parents were there? Did Ella just assume Spencer was two-timing? Damn Ella

Anyway the Montgomerys are super into the Holden solution for their daughter, because they remain the silliest parents of the lot.

Spencer is so guilt-wridden about Toby. She stares through the window at his injured body instead of entering the room to sit by him. I very much enjoy how much the show has her brood, Spencer at heart should be a noir detective brooding through rainy windows

Spencer: Jenna's right. I'm putting Toby in danger, and I've always known it.

Emily: We've always done everything we can.

Spencer: It's not enough. It'll never be enough. I need you to do me a favor.

Emily: Anything.

As kicked puppy as Toby is this episode, I obviously care more about the Spemily angle here, where Emily agrees immediately even though she knows how deranged Spencer can get and does ultimately go through with the plan.

And the genre gender inversion of sorts, where Spencer, Emily, and Jenna are the actors upon Toby, while he is the acted upon, the one that is protected or hurt or violated

I like Emily’s little vest in the hospital scenes

I...have nothing to say about Ezra getting inspired by this random-ass student that we’ll never see again, other than I hate him. Not just for Ezria, but also because he stops his car in the middle of the road while it is raining to make out with Aria, thus blocking traffic. Park your damn car.

Got distracted wondering if the Hastings move when your daughter is dating an authority figure you don’t like is to hire a PI to follow him specifically to snag a photo of them kissing so that you can get him super fired and blacklisted everywhere.

Fields move would be police police police, Marin move would be to go :/ :/ but not actually do anything about it

While Toby and Wren talk I wonder if the show ever passes the reverse Bechdel test. I hope not.

Caleb goes to Spencer and Emily to offer his hacking services. They really are the investigative ringleaders this season, and Caleb once more proves himself to be the most integrated SO

Spencer discloses to Caleb that Jenna is trying to frame them, Garrett is helping her, and that Ian’s confession likely isn’t the full story.

Not a bad set of facts, but it does overstate their certainty on the Jenna question, which will lead Caleb to focus on her

#pll #pll watching #pll 2x17

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textsfromthetva · 11 months

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I come to confess my sins 😅 I have mixed feelings with Brad, a kind of love-hate and I don't know if it's because I'm easy to convince or because I'm a simp of fictional men. I mean, when I first saw him I thought he was irritating and not that attractive to me, but with the following episodes with that uniform and that hair (even that sassy but funny attitude) I admit that he got me. But there are really attitudes that I can't stand (like how he seems to care more about himself than about others and as an empathetic person that I am, that annoys me) but seeing that people love him (very few tho) made me change my mind lol

PS: His new hairstyle definitely looks much better on him, I don't know why.

Yes! A convert! Welcome to the team.

And since you brought up the hairstyle, and there's several bits in my fic that discuss that, you get a little taste:

He had drawn up a whole list of possible scenarios for this confrontation, and how he would respond in each of them, but Brad does not react as X-5 would have expected. He doesn’t seem freaked out at all, he seems... curious.

“Well, aren’t you a handsome devil,” he drawls, taking a deep drag of his cigarette and blowing the smoke out through pursed lips.

X-5 snorts. Ah yes, there’s the vanity he has been observing, that he himself has been criticized for back at the TVA for the last thousand years or so. “Hello, Brad.”

Brad tilts his head minutely, stepping closer. “I’ve got to admit, it’s been a long time since I had a dealer spike my drugs with hallucinogens, but this is some good stuff.”

“You’re not hallucinating,” X-5 says.

“Is that so?” He moves closer still, and for a split-second X-5 thinks he’s going to touch him to confirm his corporeality. Instead, Brad changes course at the last minute, circling X-5 to take him in.

His instincts, honed by eons of fighting dangerous Varients, are telling him to turn around, to not let himself get flanked, to prepare for an attack, but he also knows it won’t be coming. Brad isn’t the type to physically assault someone. They differ in that regard. He still finds himself squaring his shoulders and drawing himself into his full height.

Brad notices. “Ah. You’re not me.” He comes back around, eyes roaming shamelessly over X-5’s body before settling on his face. “You’re a soldier.”

X-5 raises an eyebrow. “What makes you say that?”

“The posture,” Brad replies. “And the god-awful haircut.”

X-5 has to fight the urge to touch his hair, to defend the style, but really, Brad is right. It’s the haircut of a soldier.

“So who are you really?”

X-5 shrugs. “Maybe I’m your twin.”

“I’m an only child,” Brad promptly fires back.

“As far as you know.”

Brad gives him a lopsided smile. “Fine. Keep your secrets then.” His gaze travels down X-5’s body again. “What’s your name, soldier?”

----

Actually fuck it, have one more:

----

“You should grow your hair out,” Brad tells him, “You’d look very handsome.”

X-5 laughs, ignoring how irrationally flattered the backhanded compliment makes him feel. “I’d look more like you, you mean.”

Brad isn’t even remotely put off by the comment. “I look good,” he says with no trace of shame. “It’ll soften your features. So would losing the beard.”

“Some of us don’t have the spare time to maintain an attractive permastubble.”

Brad smirks like X-5 just made a damning admission. “I don’t see you having anything better to do.”

#asks #anon #my fic #hunter x 5 #brad wolfe #selfcest tw

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wandaxpietro · 8 months

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How different would Pietro/Quicksilver and Wanda/Scarlet Witch be if they were like... born into a different sex(????) (Wait let me properly explain-)

Alright, since there are multiple universes or 'multiverse', there's definitely a universe where Pietro-was-born-a-girl and Wanda-was-born-a-boy.

So how different would Male!Scarlet Witch and Fem!Quicksilver be from their universe counterparts? What names do they go by? Would they still go by "Scarlet Witch" and "Quicksilver"? What physical and personality traits do/don't have in common with their main counterparts? What would be their dynamic or their relationship be like? What would be their view(s) on the world or everyone around them? etc etc

This is such a long-ass question/s and i'm sorry cuz I know this is gonna be a pain answering (if this'll ever get answered at all) but i wanna see if anyone else thought of this cuz this has been on m mind for weEKS- and btw! I am so sorry if this ask sounds "anti-trans" or "pro-cis" (eughh) this is not my intention, I genuinely just wanted to share this idea and wanted to see how other ppl take their views on the maximoffs

ok so first of all there's actually a canon universe where they're genderswapped (and magneto is also genderswapped) but i forgot which universe that is lmfao. i quite like its quicksilver design -- as in, it's pretty much unchanged, she's just a woman but she still has short hair and the same uniform style etc -- but i'm not too fond of its scarlet warlock (< i'm pretty sure that's what he's called? which is also a stupid name lol) design. it keeps wanda's long hair & general costume, from what i remember, but it adds a beard and chest hair and he's also super bulky (also from what i remember) which doesn't seem very fitting to me.

second of all, i've actually been thinking about this recently, too (for fic related reasons), but only about fem!pietro lmfao!

so, let's get my thoughts:

one thing i have a problem with with genderbends is names, actually, so it's funny you'd ask. there's no fun in me to "switch" the names around to similar sounding names of the opposite gender, it's weird to me, i just want the character name to stay intact, you know? i can deal with it sometimes, but that's only rarely. which is why i don't think about genderbends as much as perhaps i'd usually do, and if the name works as a genderbend still, then i just keep it. for my hypothetical fem!pietro exploration i honestly would just keep pietro. why does she have a boy name? who knows. who cares. lol. if you'd ~really~ want to change their names, the first ones that would come to my mind are petra and walter but i don't like those. not for them. i just don't! (though petra is better i guess. walter is pretty bad. sorry to anyone named walter i'm sure it fits you it just does not fit wanda).

as for code names, i think quicksilver works. i don't think she'd go by anything else, it's pretty unisex. scarlet witch obviously isn't unisex, but depending on how swag male wanda is he'd maybe go by it anyway. as i've mentioned the scarlet warlock is pretty bad -- warlock is not the female version of witch in any way lol -- and i also feel a lot of wanda's character depth would disappear without the added layer of sexism with the term "witch", but i guess that's just the way it would be with male wanda. the scarlet wizard is alright, i suppose. it's not the same thing, but again, there's not really any male term that captures what "witch" specifically means, and wizard is also unisex, so.

as far as personality goes, i think i'd keep as much as possible from the 616 versions. fem!pietro can still be impatient and grumpy and suspicious and love so much she breaks herself apart on it. male wanda can still be deeply good and compassionate, place so much importance on family, can still have a short fuse and fall into self-doubt easily, idk. some of the protector dynamic with pietro would get lost, i think -- while she would probably still view herself as her softer (< her opinion) brother's protector, she'd probably be less confident (not that 616 pietro is very ~confident~, but he doesn't shy away from confrontation, is what i mean) with taking up space after growing up as a woman, but probably not by a lot. other people would probably take her less seriously as her brother's protector though, probably; and i think wanda also wouldn't view her as such, even when he obviously would still treasure her a lot. their dynamic specifically would stay largely the same, i think. super close and super explosive, too, at times, but they know each other best. i don't see how their sex would change much about that, except that their experiences growing up would obviously be a little different like this. but -- despite what many marvel writers seem to think -- nothing about wanda and pietro's dynamic has anything to do with sexism (though pietro's need to protect wanda is probably something of a "i'm a man"; i still can't imagine fem!pietro would feel less strongly about this, especially her brother in this case is a bit different than that typical "man" picture), so that wouldn't really change.

as for their views of the world and the people around them; i think pietro would be more suspicious than he is in 616 (for obvious reasons), while also perhaps being less paranoid about wanda (not because pietro looks down on wanda for being a woman, but because a lot of the world does, and that would fall away in this case), but only slightly. i don't think wanda would change much in this regard. i suppose he'd be less suspicious, but they'd both still experience racism and bigotry growing up in europe, so i don't see that changing much. wanda still loves the world and its people with all his heart but can't be around them too much (introvert) while pietro also loves the world and its people but she's more grumpy about it. because she also hates them all (extrovert) lmfao.

last but not least! appearances. in my ideal world, fem!pietro is virtually unchanged. she has short hair (better for running), she is lanky, she has runner's legs, she has sharp features. male wanda is more difficult for me to imagine. long hair, probably, but i wouldn't mind short hair. a similar style of costume. no beard!!!! my god. he'd probably wax or something so no chest hair, either, idk. he probably paints his nails. he's very very pretty. beautiful man. not exactly tall but also not exactly short. either skinny (not a physical fighter) or chubby (not a physical fighter) or something of the like, but definitely not muscular. but he's obviously trained in hand-to-hand combat like 616 wanda, obviously. etc. also male wanda would be a very gentle dom to fem!pietro's brat i know it in my heart. she still feels like she has the world on her shoulders so it's nice to be able to lie back, etc. anyway i think that's all my thoughts for now lol

#answered #scarletsilver #maxicest

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sunnyrosewritesstuff · 2 years

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Hi :D

Could you do Bofur for #99? (And maybe a bit of background Nori/Bofur?) I think that would be interesting :D

Anon, THANK YOU SO MUCH for giving me a prompt that I then held onto for about a year and a half. 😅 However, if you are still here, I do hope you enjoy. This turned out to be a very INTENSE project and I enjoyed the challenge.

#99: Bofur leaves for a few weeks/months and when they come back they act...possessed.

A Golden Nightmare

Rating: T

Warnings: Thriller Vibes; Canon-Typical Violence

Words: 7230

Bilbo felt…lost. The muted grays around him seemed to swirl and blur at the edges making him feel dizzy. In fact, he wasn’t sure where to lay blame for the pounding in his head. That or the voices whispering one over the other. Calling out to him, no not him, something…precious. Mine, mine, mine! Bilbo’s eyes flew open as he ripped the ring from his finger.

Sweat dripped down his forehead as he leaned back against the cool stone. Closing his eyes again, he tried to ease his nausea by focusing in on his harsh breathing that he slowly was able to even out. When he felt stable, his gaze drifted down to the piece of gold held tightly in his fist. Something was horribly wrong. He’s felt uncomfortable wearing his little trinket before, but it’s never been like this. And the funny part was, he didn’t even remember why he put it on this time.

Tears stabbed at his eyes as he tried to choke back the emotion wanting to bubble out of his throat. It was happening. Everyone had assumed he was immune to the pull. That hobbits clearly weren’t susceptible to such sickness. However, there had always been a prickle of doubt, especially when he had held onto the Arkenstone for so long. What if Bilbo carried the same disease of the mind as his husband, and it’s just taken this long for the gold to truly have an effect? Before he could fall into despair over this revelation, voices sounded in the corridor pushing him deeper into the alcove in order to hide from view.

“What do you mean you can’t find him?”

Bilbo peeked out just slightly to see Thorin pacing agitatedly.

“You know how he is, little bugger is slippery when he wants to be.” Nori grumbled.

“Take care of how you speak! That’s the Consort you’re talking about.” Thorin snarled, surprising both Bilbo and Nori.

It was after several moments of silence that Thorin came back to himself, shaking his head.

“I’m sorry. That was uncalled for.”

“Thorin, it’s me. Your Spymaster, your friend. What’s wrong?” Nori demanded, his arms crossed.

The king shook his head as he went back to pacing.

“I’m worried about him.” He admitted softly. “Bilbo’s been suffering such horrible nightmares lately. He won’t talk about them, but he wakes in the night screaming and crying and no amount of comfort seems to ease his burden.”

“How long has this been going on for?” Nori asked gently.

“Two weeks.” Thorin groaned, running a hand through his graying locks. “I feel like I’ve tried everything. I’ve sang to him, gotten up to make him tea, held him tight and yet…what?”

Nori had dropped his hands, staring at Thorin in something akin to fear had it been anyone else.

“Two weeks?” He repeated. “Two weeks exactly?”

“I don’t remember, Nori.” Thorin complained. “What does it matter?”

“Bofur got back exactly two weeks ago.”

“And that matters because…?”

Nori turned away rubbing his hand over his beard. Bilbo had never seen the dwarf look so agitated which honestly was causing cold to creep down his spine. This conversation had taken a most uncomfortable turn for the eavesdropper, but he found he couldn’t leave it either. He needed to know Nori’s thoughts. Perhaps it would be the answer to his problem.

“Bofur was delayed by three weeks. Three weeks, Thorin. And the Iron Hills’ dwarves said he had finished negotiations with them and was on his way back to Erebor well before that.”

“Perhaps he got lost.” Thorin shrugged.

“Bofur? With his stone sense?” Nori barked out a bitter laugh. “Not likely. Besides, he’s made that journey many times before. There’s something else too. He’s not…himself. I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen him smile, he constantly brushes me off or acts annoyed, and he has this fixated look about him like he’s searching for something but doesn’t know what that could be.”

Thorin tilted his head before slowly reaching out to give Nori’s shoulder a squeeze.

“I don’t want to be insensitive but could this be in regards to your…arrangement?”

Bilbo had to cover his mouth to stop himself from gasping as Nori shoved Thorin against the wall with a knife at his throat.

“I may not have a traditional relationship, but how dare you insinuate he would leave me. What do you know?”

The silence stretched on much longer this time. The tension thick in the air as Thorin stared down at the seething dwarf with a grim look. Nori’s face went through a mixture of different facets before settling on shock and shame.

“I don’t know what came over me.” He apologized, sheathing the blade and dropping his head. “I’m sorry, My King.”

Thorin huffed a sigh.

“I think…the stress of dealing with our respective partners is getting to us.”

“And if not? If there’s something…nefarious afoot?” He asked softly.

Thorin flinched, but the fire of a warrior shined brightly still in his blue eyes.

“Then find it so we can crush it.”

Bilbo waited until he could no longer hear their retreating footsteps before he allowed himself to sink to the stone floor. His mind was reeling, and his eyes naturally traced the smooth surface of his ring. Was there something dark at home in their mountain? Strangely enough, it was a thought that didn’t fill him with dread like it should. Instead it was a burning, jealous desire to protect that which was his. His precious. And it was at that moment that Bilbo realized he needed help from an outside source. It was time to call for Gandalf.

***

The climb to the rookery was chilly with the threat of winter upon the mountain, but inside was kept warm and toasty. Roäc, son of Carc, was the official Chief of the Ravens for the King and by extent, the Consort. However, Bilbo had grown fond of Kuë, his mate, and it was her feet that swept down onto his arm, affectionately nipping at his curls.

“Consort.” She greeted.

“Kuë, I have a very special mission for you.” He began, as he tied his message onto her leg.

“Whom do I seek?” She hummed.

“Gandalf, the wandering wizard.”

“Tharkun usually cannot be found if he doesn’t wish to be.”

“I know.” Bilbo sighed, his fingers in her feathers shaking slightly. “But I don’t know what to do if you can’t.”

She cooed and rubbed her head against Bilbo’s own before hopping on the sill, shaking out her wings.

“Don’t worry Bilbo. I’ll find the Gray Pilgrim.”

She gave him one more affectionate nip before Bilbo threw open the shutters, and Kuë became nothing more than a dark shape against the sky. Bilbo stood there for a long time, watching her form disappear, and eventually just staring out at the wide world below. He tried not to dwell on Thorin and Nori’s conversation, but just the reminder of their names sent a sharp spike into his chest, his fingers drifting down to the smooth, warm gold in his pocket. A tear slipped down his cheek before he could stop it. She had to find Gandalf. The wizard had to know what was wrong with him. He had to be able to fix this.

There was a crash behind him, and the ravens started to caw and shift, unnerved. Bilbo spun around though to find none other than Bofur. He forced a smile to his face, ready to greet his friend when the words paused on his tongue. Bofur looked sick. His eyes were sunken in dark shadows, his skin sallow and weak. Yet, he moved with a fervor. As if he were searching for something.

“He has this fixated look about him like he’s searching for something but doesn’t know what that could be.”

Bilbo gulped and took a nervous step back, his fist tightening around the ring. All of a sudden, Bofur looked up, as a predator sensing his prey.

“Do you have it, Halfling?” He snapped.

“I’m sorry?” Bilbo gasped, caught off-guard by it being Bofur’s voice, but it didn’t sound like Bofur.

“You must! You’ve had it this whole time! YOU LITTLE RAT!”

Bilbo immediately thought of his little ring, and he could feel it bite into his skin from how hard he clutched it. He pulled away from the demented dwarf. He had to get away. Bofur couldn’t have it. It was his. His precious. Bofur made a lunge for him, and the ravens immediately swooped down to Bilbo’s defense. It was all the opening Bilbo needed to slip the ring on his finger, and disappear.

***

The ravens relayed the exchange to the King, and Thorin was enraged. While he still felt a certain level of loyalty to a Company member, attacking Bilbo was inexcusable. There was currently a kingdom-wide hunt for Bofur, alive, most certainly. However, Bilbo watched the way Bifur, Bombur, and Nori shrunk away from the order, and furthermore, the miner was very popular in his guild. Bilbo doubted they were going to find him, and the dark cloud hanging above Erebor now seemed to choke the life of its people. Very unflattering comparisons of Thorin were made to his predecessor, and the seed of guilt buried itself deeper into his heart.

Bilbo paced back and forth in the sitting room of his suite. He had all but been ordered to remain in his rooms, and he felt like he was about to go insane. He needed to do something. Find Bofur, talk some sense into him, or at the very least be on the lookout for Kuë and Gandalf. Bilbo’s fingers brushed against the smooth golden treasure hidden deep in his overcoat’s pocket, and he closed his eyes tight to resist putting it on and going wherever he liked. Heaving a heavy sigh, he ran his free hand through his hair.

“Whatever am I going to do?”

“You can start with giving me the ring.”

Bilbo’s eyes snapped up at the same time he pulled his sword free from the scabbard of his belt. Dwalin’s self-defense lessons were paying off as he kept Bofur, or at least the creature wearing his friend’s face at a distance. He still looked sickly and pale. In fact, he almost looked like he had aged overnight, his eyes having a milky quality to them. But there was something more controlled in his posture this time which honestly made Bilbo even more anxious.

“How did you get in here?” He demanded.

‘Bofur’ smirked. “This dwarf has a sense about him. He can hear the stones, and I was able to find a back passageway that led me straight to you.”

Bilbo’s heart sunk as he realized his assessment was correct. This wasn’t Bofur.

“I could scream right now.” He declared. “And the guards would swarm you before you could even touch me.”

“But you won’t.” ‘Bofur’ countered, looking unimpressed. “So why don’t we save us both the headache, and you hand over what’s in your pocket right now?”

Bilbo snarled as his hand tightened around the ring to the point where it was painful. If this thing thought for one second that he would part with his precious. A single tear rolled down his cheek. Why did it have such a hold on him?

“You’ve done something? Haven’t you? Cursed the mountain or something.” He accused.

A wild grin spread across ‘Bofur’s’ face.

“No, stupid Halfling. My magic may be aggravating it, but you have no idea what it is you actually hold there. Its powers are so much greater than being able to disappear. Now, you can give it to me. Or I can take it from your lifeless corpse!”

‘Bofur’ lunged for him, and Bilbo immediately slipped on the ring, blending with the shadows. The crazed look had returned as he searched the room, trying to discover Bilbo’s hiding place.

“IT’S ONLY GOING TO GET WORSE!” He raved. “This kingdom of filthy, greedy dwarves will burn. You think the goldsickness of Thror’s line was bad? That ring you carry will have them all slaughtering each other for control of it, SLAUGHTERING YOU! Why I bet your king is just itching to get his hands back around your throat…”

Bilbo covered his mouth, trying to contain the sob tearing through his chest as he closed his eyes against the vile words spoken from the mouth of a friend. And yet, as much as his heart warred, he could see the truth in it. He saw Thorin and Nori once more, prepared to slit each other’s throats over a few simple words. If this ring was in fact the cause…it couldn’t stay here, he couldn’t stay here. Because as much as he loved Thorin, he couldn’t bear to part with his…Bilbo’s eyes flew open as something strong and unbending settled inside him. His glare settled on the golden band on his middle finger before yanking it off.

When ‘Bofur's’ eyes settled on him, Bilbo met it, cool and calculating. Exactly how the Consort of Erebor should be.

“The dwarf whose body you inhabit, is he still in there?” He demanded.

The dwarf’s eyes narrowed, almost looking confused by Bilbo’s question.

“Does Bofur still exist, or should I kill you where you stand, Spector?”

“He’s still here…” It finally growled.

“Then I have a counteroffer for you. Tell me where to meet you, and I will deliver the ring directly to you. But only if you release Bofur back to us.”

The dwarf narrowed his eyes as if trying to suss out the way Bilbo was attempting to trick him before a cruel grin stole across his face.

“You have nothing to bargain with, Halfling. I can slit your throat in the night here or on the road and take it. What makes you think I need you?”

Bilbo smirked. “You don’t. I know I’m expendable, but the thing is: I’ve already written to Gandalf to come to Erebor.”

‘Bofur’s’ face fell, turning an even sicker shade of gray. Probably recalling the moment he caught Bilbo in the rookery.

“I’ve evaded you this long. You know it won’t be that easy to kill the Consort inside his own Mountain while in possession of the ring. And when Gandalf gets here? Then you’ve lost your chance completely. On the other hand, I can accompany you willingly and secret this ring right under his nose. It’s your choice.”

The dwarf growled, as his milky eyes burned with hatred. “I do not fear Gandalf Greyhame.”

“Then I suppose we’ve reached a stalemate.”

Bilbo moved to slip the ring back on, and ‘Bofur’ jumped, reaching out to stop him. Bilbo quirked a brow as he held the ring a hair-breadth away from his finger. The glare Bilbo received was thunderous.

“Fine. Have it your way.” He spat. “We leave in the dead of night.”

“And where are we going?” Bilbo demanded. “After all, you must give me some insurance.”

‘Bofur’ hesitated before giving a single word in response, slipping back through the secret passage. The air expelled from Bilbo’s body in a shaky sigh as his knees wobbled. He didn’t know if he could actually follow through with this. This possessing entity scared him, and he was certain it would have no qualms about killing him. Bilbo was going to have to play this perfectly. His bluff about Gandalf bought him some time, although he hoped with all his heart that was the truth. And the mere idea of giving up his golden trinket had his head pounding in protest. But he had to do it. For Bofur, for Erebor, for Thorin, and even for himself.

As quickly as he could, Bilbo wrote two letters. One to Thorin, apologizing profusely for making this decision without him and reminding him of just how much Bilbo loved him should the worst happen. The second letter was to Nori, promising not to come back without Bofur healthy and hale, as well as telling him their location. Rhûn. The Sea of Rhûn. He hid them both in his desk knowing as soon as it was realized he was gone, Thorin would have the room inspected with a fine-tooth comb. He needed to buy them a little bit of a headstart after all, or else the spector wouldn’t release Bofur.

After that, he immediately went to work packing a bag for the trip. There was something bitter in the sense that he had always hoped his next journey would be after Thorin retired so they could travel the world together. Instead, he was sneaking to the barracks to rob their soldiers of cram and jerky coming to terms with the fact that he most likely wouldn’t be eating well.

From there, he had one more stop to make, and it broke his heart to even consider it. Thorin’s years on the road just made him too light a sleeper. Taking some herbs from Oin’s store, Bilbo began to make a pot of tea contemplating how far beyond the realms of trust he was taking this. He didn’t think Thorin would ever forgive him, as he wiped the falling tears off his cheeks. However, he played the part well enough, and he was certain it was Thorin’s lack of sleep that contributed to his dulled suspicions. After Thorin had drunk enough of the herbs that he would soon be asleep for the remainder of the night, he couldn’t stop himself from cuddling Thorin’s head. The tea clattered to the ground as Thorin’s bleary blue eyes struggled to remain focused on him.

“Ukradê (my greatest heart)...why…?” Thorin breathed.

“It’s my fault, Thorin. And I can fix it. I can make it all better, and I don’t expect you to understand or…f-forgive me. But I have to do this. I can’t be responsible for Erebor burning again. So I hope this isn’t goodbye, but if it is, please know…you have made me the happiest hobbit in the world. Astû dulelê. (You were my dream of all dreams.)”

And Bilbo meant that. Even if he could feel the weight of his little ring in his pocket. As if it could remind him of his love for it as well. He leaned in to kiss Thorin feeling his husband’s lips go slack as he finally succumbed to sleep. It was at that point that Bilbo finally allowed his sobs to escape. He cuddled into Thorin’s chest, crying over a future they may not have anymore until he couldn’t wait any longer. It was time for him to leave.

The Spector was, of course, quick to mock his plight, and wearing his friend’s grin, it made Bilbo even more irritable.

“Did you promise the dwarf king you’d write?”

“Didn’t really see the point. I figured my errand wouldn’t take long.” Bilbo snarked before turning to saddle his pony.

“No it won’t, but that doesn’t mean you’ll return from it, Halfling.”

Bilbo should never have turned his back on ‘Bofur’. He assumed it was the dwarf’s mattock splitting his head in two, but that was all the time he had to reason on it as he was unconscious before he even hit the ground.

***

When Bilbo awoke, his first reaction was surprise as waking anywhere but Yavanna’s Gardens seemed out of the realm of possibility. However, the splitting headache, the nausea from the gentle sway and bounce of his ride, and the horse hair tickling his nose indicated he was very much alive. However, that wasn’t the strange part. What caught his attention the most was the rising sun hitting his eyes…but it wasn’t the direction they were headed.

“We’re going south…” He slurred.

“Still alive then, Halfling?”

Bilbo jerked himself into a sitting position, only to pull at the ropes holding his hands to the saddle horn. His head shot pain at the movement at the same time his stomach gave a mighty lurch. He was spilling the contents of his stomach off to the side before passing out once more. When he awoke again, the sun was much higher in the sky which certainly wasn’t helping with his headache, but at least his stomach felt stronger.

“You could have just killed me…but you didn’t.” Bilbo accused, his tongue feeling too big for his mouth.

“You’ve inconvenienced me enough that I thought you would make a nice snack for the orcs.”

Panic began to set in as he realized it had nothing to do with Bofur potentially fighting his way back in control.

“We’re not going to Rhûn.” He stated weakly.

“No, I’m afraid your dwarves that you forewarned for back-up will not make it in time to assist you. We ride for Dol Guldur, Halfling.”

Dol Guldur. Where only foul things reside now. Gandalf having explained the fight for his life at the same time he regrettably informed Thorin of Thrain’s demise. Bilbo started pulling at the ropes around his wrists, hissing when the tight bonds chafed at the skin.

“Accept your fate and relax.” The Spector grinned back at him from where Bilbo’s pony was tied to the back of his pony’s saddle. “I’m not about to let you escape from me.”

Bilbo wondered if he had already removed the ring from Bilbo’s person which really stirred him up before he slumped over as his headache became too much. Bilbo tried twisting to press his side up against the pony to see if he could feel the imprint, but couldn’t be certain. A scream tore its way from him which had the Spector snapping at him to be quiet. Bilbo snarled wanting to scream for help at the top of his lungs in spite. However, he knew they had to be too far south of Esgaroth for there to be another living soul that could help him. Otherwise he was certain he would be gagged as well as bound.

Bilbo’s head hit the neck of his pony in defeat causing the poor beast to startle. Getting thrown from the pony probably wouldn’t improve his situation any, but he thought it might at least inconvenience the Spector. If only his head wasn’t hurting so much he might be able to think of a plan. One that got rid of these stupid ropes! Bilbo bit down on them in frustration only to feel some of the sinew snap away. Bilbo paused for a moment, before renewing his efforts with full vigor. It was slow going, and his jaw aching after a few hours of it with little progress, but he couldn’t give up. Every time he snapped through another twine, he tested his bonds. Looser, but not quite there yet. In need of a break, he decided to engage with the entity.

“So what is it, exactly?” He croaked, starting to wish he had access to his waterskin. “The ring I mean.”

‘Bofur’ chuckled darkly. “An ancient artifact of great power is all you need to know.”

“And why Bofur? Why did you take my friend?”

“He was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. I had thought long and hard about the events following the reclamation of Erebor. Even gold tainted with dragon stink shouldn’t have caused the dwarf king to lose his mind. Not that fast at least. And then there was Azog making his march on the mountain along with Thranduil who hadn’t left his woods in nearly a century…I was fairly certain of what the mountain held. Then it was just a matter of getting a hold of someone who could get me inside.”

Bilbo was afraid he was going to be sick again. His ring was what caused Thorin’s rapid descent into gold sickness? No, it couldn’t be true. This thing had to be lying to him…for some reason. ‘Bofur’ gave a cough, and Bilbo was able to focus his blurring vision on the slumped figure in the saddle ahead of him.

“You promised you would let him go.” Bilbo reminded.

“And so I will.” The Spector rasped. “As soon as my retrieving party reaches us, I’ll flee the dwarf’s body for good.”

“You mean as soon as your orcs tear Bofur apart.” Bilbo growled.

“You’re not as stupid as you act, Halfling.”

Bilbo pulled frantically at his bonds again with renewed fervor, only to slump over when the dizziness persisted. It still didn’t make sense. Why have a prisoner at all? That’s when a thought occurred to him.

“You can’t touch it. Can you?”

“I most certainly can. And I’ve heard Aulë’s children possess a certain level of hardiness when it comes to objects of magical origins. But this body is wearing out too quickly, and I don’t trust the orcs with it. So like it or not, I need you to bear the Ring for just a little longer.”

Bilbo’s mind was racing with the information, only having nowhere to put it. Nothing helped! For the first time in his life, he didn’t have an idea. Of course, the mind numbing pain at the back of his skull certainly didn’t help any. Gleaning all that he felt he could from the Spector, Bilbo leaned forward to tear at his ropes some more. He must have fallen asleep, for the next moment he was aware, the sun was just about set, and they had stopped for the night.

He groggily forced himself to sit back up only to feel a knife at his throat.

“Don’t make any sudden moves.” The Spector warned.

He fumbled at the knot holding Bilbo’s hands to the saddle, sneering at the hobbit’s attempts at freedom. He loosened the hold just enough to get around the horn before pulling his bonds tightly around his wrists again. Bilbo hissed as it aggravated his bruised and torn skin. The knife was put away, and Bilbo was bodily dragged out of the saddle, and thrown to the ground. Before he could get his bearings, a new set of rope started to tighten around his ankles. Satisfied that Bilbo wasn’t going anywhere, the Spector started rummaging through their packs. A waterskin was held to his lips, and Bilbo didn’t care how demeaning it was, he drank greedily. Same went for when a bit of cram was held to his mouth, but he couldn’t eat more than a few pieces before his stomach protested again.

The Spector laughed at his misfortune, but left him alone, believing Bilbo to be completely helpless at this point. It certainly wasn’t far from the truth, but he seemed to forget something rather important on Bilbo’s person. And now that Bilbo was in a better position to search for it, he dug deep into his pockets, sighing in relief when his fingers rested on it. He had to resist the urge to slip it on right that second as invisibility certainly wouldn’t help with his bonds. Still, he certainly felt better clutching it in his hand. Evil or not, it wasn’t like the ring had ever harmed Bilbo…in fact, it seemed rather fond of him. His precious would assist him like it always did. And then Bofur would pay…

A steady stream of curses had Bilbo looking up at the dwarf. His eyes couldn’t make out very much in the dark, but a familiar caw had him looking skyward.

“Kuë…” He mumbled in relief.

“Your dwarves aren’t as stupid as I thought.” The Spector growled as the raven gave another caw of reassurance before backtracking north. “We ride again, Halfling.”

Determination set inside Bilbo. Thorin or Nori or Gandalf or all the above were out there right now, riding to save him. The least he could do is buy them some more time. He tensed, waiting for just the right moment. As soon as the Spector was within range, Bilbo kicked out at his knees. The dwarf gave a cry, stumbling, and Bilbo used the momentum to hook behind his ankles to make sure he went down. As soon as he landed, Bilbo rolled over on top of him, his hands surrounding the dwarf’s throat as he squeezed. Bofur struggled beneath him at first before slumping in defeat, a wide grin on his face.

“I suppose doing this for your friend…it was all for nothing then.” Bofur wheezed, alternating between trying to laugh and hacking in protest. “I told you…Halfling…”

Horror swept through his body. What was he doing? He was going to kill Bofur! And all because…he looked at the ring still clutched tightly in his hand. An outline of the band already forming a mark pressed into Bofur’s throat. Sensing his hesitation, the Spector grabbed him by his shirt front, flipping them over. Panic tore through his very being as Bofur landed one punch, making Bilbo see stars. He knew the next one was going to send him back into unconsciousness. Maybe that’s why he did what he did next. After all, it made no logical sense. He could only vaguely recall the Spector’s point about dwarves and the ring after all. He just knew he still really wanted to kill Bofur, and he didn’t want the ring anywhere near him because of it. So as Bofur’s punch came down towards Bilbo, he slipped his little golden band, the very one he clinged to so tightly, onto the dwarf’s other hand.

There was a burst of light, and the Spector started screaming. Bilbo heard, more than saw, the ponies get spooked and bolted. He could find himself to care. He watched the still form of the Spector laid out before him, and slowly began to crawl his way towards him. Each little movement caused a fresh wave of pain to bloom behind his eyelids. However, he was determined. He barely even registered as Bofur seemed to deage before him back to the dwarf he knew and loved. He didn’t even consider the dagger in the dwarf’s belt to free himself. He didn’t stop until he reached his hand, pulling the ring free.

“Mine.” He groaned happily, before collapsing and passing out once more.

***

Bilbo. Bilbo, wake up. BILBO!

The hobbit gave a mighty groan before slowly peeling his eyes open. From the fading darkness, he reasoned it was just a few hours before dawn.

“Bilbo? Are you with me?”

Bilbo gasped sharply as he immediately tried to scoot away from that voice.

“Whoa, whoa! Hey! It’s me. Bilbo, it’s really me this time.”

Bilbo looked up into the dark eyes and easy smile of his friend, but he couldn’t find any hint of deception. It was really and truly Bofur.

“Thank Mahal.” Bilbo groaned as he lay his head back on the ground.

“Bilbo…what you did…I don’t know if I can ever thank you enough.” Bofur admitted, his voice wobbling.

Bilbo smiled as he reached out, with his thankful unbound hands now, and gave Bofur’s arm a squeeze.

“Don’t mention it.”

Bofur laughed wetly. “No, I will. For every day and beyond. I figure Thorin’s most likely going to have my head for this, but I get to die as me and that’s just…”

Bofur immediately burst into sobs, and Bilbo forced his aching body up so he could pull Bofur into a hug. He knew his friend was upset, but he could only feel relief. Relief in knowing it was finally over.

The sound of pounding feet and what Bilbo immediately recognized as a warg cry had them both stiffening. Bofur got to his feet, pulling Bilbo along with him. Only as soon as he was upright, Bilbo felt like swooning. The ache at the back of his head hadn’t lessened any, and the swelling around his left eye from Bofur’s punch seemed as if it were pulsing.

“Run.” Bilbo ordered the dwarf.

Bofur looked down at him sharply.

“They won’t kill me. The Spector possessing you told me as much. Now, run! Kuë was here. The Erebor army can’t be far behind. Tell them what happened.”

Bofur shook his head. “I’m not leaving you.”

“I can barely stand, and you’re in no position to carry me. There’s no sense in dying for me!”

Bofur gave him a bitter smirk. “No sense, but plenty of honor. You’ve lived with us long enough to know that.”

Another howl was released. This one, much closer. Bofur’s brows knit together before slinging Bilbo’s arm over his shoulder and dragging him bodily towards the tree line. Bilbo tried to protest, especially when sweat began to build on Bofur’s forehead and his panting came sharper, but the stubborn dwarf was determined. As soon as they reached the first tree, Bofur began to boost Bilbo up into it. Bilbo groaned as it took all his energy not to tumble backwards.

“Bofur…I can’t…”

“You can. And you will. Get as high up there as you can, and then use the ring to hide yourself.”

Bilbo gave a jolt, hugging his ring tighter to himself when he heard the dwarf talk about it, which in turn gave him the energy to get settled on the first branch.

“What about you?” Bilbo asked.

“I’m going to draw them off.”

Before Bilbo could protest, Bofur gave him a wink and a large grin. And somehow it struck something deep inside him. It was such a Bofur-like thing to do. Any trace of doubt that he still clung to was gone, and Bilbo found himself reaching out for his friend. Knowing this could very well be the last time they ever see each other. And then Bofur was running. Bilbo followed the dwarf with his eyes as the sun finally started to stretch its first rays. Then the first warg tore through the treeline after him.

“NO!” Bilbo shouted as he felt a tug on his foot.

He looked down to see a sneering orc face looking back. Bilbo kicked him in the face with his other foot, but that didn’t stop the next orc from taking its place. Adrenaline coursed through Bilbo’s body giving him the strength to climb higher out of the orcs’ reach.

“Come on down, Halfling. We promise we won’t hurt you.” One of them cackled.

“Perhaps we just cut the whole tree down?” The next one teased.

“Our master wants him untouched and unspoiled…for now.”

Their attempts to lasso him out of the tree with rope and chain nearly had him slipping and falling the rest of the way down. His heart was pounding so harshly, and his ring sang to him to use it. Even though there was no reason to. His luck could not last forever though, and his hand became tangled in one of their attempts to get him down. Bilbo cried out as he was pulled from the tree, only to land in the arms of the orcs below.

Bilbo struggled with all his might as his arms were crushed against his chest, the remainder of the rope used to bind his other wrist.

“What if I just take a finger? Surely he won’t be missing that…”

“Or one of his pointed ears. What if he’s mostly intact?”

Bilbo could feel the hot, putrid breath of his captors against his cheek and neck and he just knew at any moment, this would be it. He would be mutilated beyond recognition and then dragged bodily before the Spector. In the end, that possessing entity would win. There was a ‘twarp’ before silence reigned around them. One of the orcs fell over dead. An Elvish arrow sticking out of its head. There was a series of confused orc noises before one of them slung Bilbo over its shoulder, prepared to make a run for it. A dwarven handaxe cut straight through the air and into its back. Bilbo went rolling away as the orc collapsed. He turned his head just in time to see his family joining the fray. Kili and Tauriel dancing around each other with their short swords, Dwalin slicing through any orc neck he could find with his axe, and then…there was Thorin. Tears slid down his face as he slumped in relief.

The moment their eyes met, Thorin hacked through the remaining orc in his way before leaving the fight to the remainder of their rescue party, which of course didn’t last long. Sliding on his knees, he pulled Bilbo into his arms kissing his face all over. Although, he left the swollen side of his face alone after Bilbo hissed in pain.

“I’m so beyond angry at you right now.” Thorin confessed, his blue eyes like blocks of frozen ice. “You don’t ever make decisions like that without me again. We are One now, Azyungel (Love of all loves).”

Bilbo leaned his head against Thorin’s chest, taking comfort from his husband where he could get it.

“Please…tell me it worked at least.”

Thorin gave Bilbo a nice, long lingering kiss as he sliced through the rope holding Bilbo’s hand with his knife. It was almost too much compared to how he had been treated for the last twenty-four hours.

“Yes. As soon as you both left, it was like a veil was lifted. But ghivashel (treasure of all treasures)...”

“Bofur!” Bilbo suddenly cried out. “Thorin, he tried to protect me! Please tell me that he didn’t…”

“Nah, I’m still here, you stubborn hobbit.”

Bilbo looked over to see Bofur limping his way, leaning all his weight on Nori. Other than a bleeding bandage around his leg, Bofur seemed fine. Bofur nodded at Bilbo’s assessment.

“Aye, bugger caught me in its teeth. Probably would have had my leg torn clean off if it wasn’t for…”

Nori tightened his hold around Bofur looking uncharacteristically vulnerable as he buried his head in Bofur’s neck, kissing on his collarbone. Bofur pulled Nori into him tightly, closing his eyes, as he buried his nose in the other dwarf’s locks. Something about the rare display of affection between the duo had Bilbo’s heart swelling.

“Bofur.” Thorin “I owe you an apology.”

“No.” Bofur immediately denied, his mouth pulled into a straight line. “My King, I…that thing meant to harm Bilbo. I would have done the same…if it meant keeping the ones I loved safe.”

Thorin nodded, but Bilbo could see the relief bleeding through him, especially when his hold on Bilbo lessened just slightly.

“All these orcs have the same symbol. A white hand on their breastplates.” Dwalin assessed kicking at an orc carcass. “Does that mean anything to you, Wizard?”

“It means we have a new enemy I did not foresee.”

Bilbo gasped as Gandalf came into view, only to cry out in happiness as Kuë swept down to land on Thorin’s shoulder. She nipped lightly at Bilbo’s curls.

“I was able to find the Grey Pilgrim, my Consort. And it seems just in time.”

“You did well, Kuë.” He beamed. “But how did you find us so quickly. My note…”

“Aye, well we weren’t just going to take the word of some possessing demon now, were we?” Nori interrupted, rolling his eyes. “I thought you had better sense about you.”

Bofur shushed him with a kiss to his cheek.

“We sent a raven to scout ahead.” Thorin took over. “But when it became apparent that there was no sign of anyone passing that direction, we sent scouts out all over. That got us following you south, and it wasn’t until we reached just beyond the borders of Esgaroth that we found Gandalf.”

The wizard’s eyes were twinkling, but his words were solemn. “You never cease to surprise me, my friend. Although I wish this adventure had treated you better.”

“Gandalf.” Bilbo started, finding a knot forming in his throat. “Am I sick?”

Thorin pressed a kiss to Bilbo’s head, but Gandalf just shook his head sadly.

“No, but I don’t think you should be holding onto such cursed objects anymore, Bilbo Baggins.”

Gandalf produced a seemingly innocent box, holding it out before him. All of a sudden, Bilbo’s entire demeanor changed. He struggled out of Thorin’s grip, clutching the ring tightly in his grip.

“Why should I have to give it up?” He demanded. “I’ve been keeping it safe all this time. Do you think you could do any better, Wizard?”

Gandalf’s brows knit together in disapproval at the same time Thorin watched him with worry in his eyes. Bilbo scowled up at them. He wasn’t about to be coerced into separating himself from his precious. He wouldn’t. He absolutely…suddenly, Bofur was kneeling before him. His eyes, hard but not unsympathetic.

“Bilbo, you gave that thing away once to save my life. You can do it again. Please. Help us, help you. You are far too good and strong to let a little goldsickness beat you.”

Bilbo started shaking. It was goldsickness. He knew that. That’s why he called for Gandalf in the first place. His hand loosened just slightly around the ring as he looked around at the faces of the people who loved him. And he loved them…perhaps even more than a little piece of jewelry. Sapping at the last bit of his strength, he tilted his hand, letting it fall into Gandalf’s little box. Faster than what Bilbo would have thought possible, Gandalf closed and locked the box, hiding it away in a bag under his cloak. There was a sense of clarity Bilbo hadn’t felt in a long time, as he curled back up into Thorin’s arms.

“You are an extraordinary hobbit, Bilbo Baggins. May the reign of King and Consort Under the Mountain continue uninhibited from this point on.”

While kind, Gandalf’s words sounded like wishful thinking to Bilbo. Still he would take them. Seeing as Bilbo and Bofur had injuries that needed tending to, everyone helped to load them up and take them back to Erebor. It was in the saddle, nestled up against Thorin’s chest, that Bilbo drifted into his first peaceful sleep in weeks.

#sunny's drabbles #the hobbit #bagginshield #bofur/nori #99 problems but our love ain't one #the one ring is not a good thing #don't worry everything all works out in the end

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homosociallyyours · 2 years

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Megan, I love your brain and I'd love to know what you think about the most recent tidal wave to hit our wee fandom. Is this just gonna be a brief reprieve before we get Aloucia, did Eleanor decide she finally wanted a meaningful life of her own beyond bathroom pics and dog walking? What do you reckon ? X

ok so THIS is the ask I've been wanting to get to!! thank you to everyone who sent me asks and helped me open my computer!

and MAJOR thanks to @goodshiplarrypop for asking my opinion on something?? It's rare and a fun lil treat! AND it's probably for the best that I'm not answering when this is actually the main discourse, bc as much as I do like sharing my thoughts I do NOT like being pulled into disc horsing around, really? That said. I'm putting my answer behind a cut:

I will preface this by saying that this is all my opinion and conjecture, and I don't expect anyone to agree with me. I'm also not interested in debating, so if you don't agree with me that's chill BUT I have no need to hear about it.

I think we've seen signs that Eleanor has been doing her own thing and developing a stronger work life for a while now. She's been working with a lot more brands, and honestly from what I can tell she seems to be having success as a luxury influencer. Her follower count is high enough and even with comments turned off on posts she still gets decent engagement in terms of likes and stuff.

It does appear to me that she loves animals, and I will be surprised if we don't see her with Cliff sometimes. A big part of me thinks that this ending is meant to be a "more mature" one for her and Louis-- they wanted different things and grew apart but still care for each other vs. him basically being a cheater party boy (or having that for her). If that's the approach they take, it could do a lot for allowing Louis down time-- lots of "will they get back together?" moments based simply on her proximity to him BUT allowing her the freedom to actually be out in the world with any man she's really seeing.

For Louis, this is a great chance to be Single and career focused, and honestly kinda makes his interactions with F over the past year+ make a lot more sense to me. I think it's entirely possible that the idea of hanging out with a kid every once in a while-- something Louis likes doing and is good at --might feel like a better use of his time than going on week long trip or doing a papped night out to feed into a straight guy narrative. And obviously timing-wise the January-January ending feels like something that's been planned and expected.

That said, is Aloucia coming asap? I mean. I would be surprised? But I often am! I have a feeling that it's meant more as a place holder, like maybe something more could connect them in a few months. Maybe it was a wink and a nod to anyone who pays attention to stunts. Maybe he likes pictures of fireworks! I truly don't know.

One thing for sure is that if she does happen to stunt with him, I plan on being really annoying and pointing out the ways that beards can't win and are treated horribly no matter what they do or how they do it. It's the one place where I feel like outside critique of larries actually holds water, and I just hate to see antis taking that W on us when we could honestly just thrive by saying less! OH ALSO i find it funny that half of Clexa and half of Larry could be "together" like WHAT IT THE ACTUAL FAN FICCING FUCK??? hilarious!!!! like reliving the 2010s!

ok I think that's all I've got to say for now! hopefully you don't regret sending me this ask!

#1d #if this ends up in any tags i am so so sorry #these are simply my thots and onions :)#i do not claim to be correct and you don't have to agree with me #stunt mention

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megan-loves-surveys · 6 months

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#23.

Would you rather have another job? No, I like my job!

Did you ever live in a house with more than one story? I currently do.

What room of your home do you spend most time in? My room.

Have you ever given yourself a tattoo? No.

Do you own any clothes you wouldn’t wear in front of your mother? No xD

Why did you last take pain medication? A mild headache. Surprising it was only mild xD

Do you drive an electric car? I don't drive, period.

Do you like facial hair on guys or do you prefer the clean-shaven look? Facial hair is sexy AF. My boyfriend has a beard and it's so hot. Jon Moxley has a beard and he looks way better with it than he did clean shaven, etc.

Who was your first celebrity crush? Ritchie Neville from Five. I met him earlier this month and he's still the hottest, I hugged him xD

Who is your current celebrity crush? Jon Moxley, like always.

Are you good with kids? Not really. Kids seem to like me though, which is awkward xD

Do you have your national flag hanging up anywhere outside your house? No.

Do you look older or younger than you actually are? Younger. I'm in my mid 30's, but I've been mistaken for early 20's, most people agree I look around 21 - 23 right now. When I go out with my boyfriend, people think he's my Dad cos I look so much younger than him... which is funny cos he's 18 years older than me as it is!

When is the next time you’ll be up on stage? How should I know lol.

What was the last show that you watched a full episode of? Big Bang Theory.

Were you ever a boy or girl scout? I'm not even sure if that's a thing here.

Do you take your medications in the morning or at night? I only take my meds when I need them, not daily.

Do you like thrift stores? Yes.

Do you know anyone who has ten cats? No lol. I wish I did xD

Have you ever had a cat? I did, my aunt and uncle gave me a cat for my 5th birthday, his name was Piglet and he was a tabby. He lived till he was 12. Loved him to pieces <3

Have you ever had a dog? No.

Have you ever any other kind of animal? No.

Have you ever had a pet rock? Probably xD

What were you voted in the senior class polls? -

Do you organize your clothes by color? No.

Do you have any significantly older siblings? I have stepsiblings, they're in their 40's.

Which parent do you feel the most affection for? I love them both equally. No picking.

Who do you care about the most? Lots of people.

Do you tend to speed when you drive? -

Do you get bored with relationships quickly? No.

Do you have an online game that you play often? No, most of my games are offline, single player ones haha.

How long does it take you to normally take a shower? Depends. If I have to shave, it takes longer. Around 15 mins.

Was the last person you kissed younger or older than you? Older.

Do you always wear your seatbelt? Yes.

Would you rather watch a movie, watch a TV show, or watch a YouTube video? YouTube video, but it depends on the TV show.

Do your pets chase after bugs? -

When you get married, who will be the maid of honor/best man? -

When you go to McDonalds, what drink do you usually get? Coke Zero Sugar.

What was the last thing you threw up? Dunno.

Are you someone’s best friend? I hope so.

Would your childhood self be disappointed? In what?

Can you lift your significant other (your best friend if you’re single)? No, he's like a foot taller than me and far far bigger than me lol.

What’s your opinion on the legalization of weed? I don't smoke it, but I don't care if other people do, so legalize it.

Have you ever hit a girl? I've slapped a few haha.

What was your New Year’s resolution? To keep going to the gym.

Do you like watching music videos? No.

Are you happy with your looks? Mostly.

Do you have any pets who will bite anyone else out there, besides you? -

Are you someone who really likes to cook? What’s your favorite meal? I suck at cooking.

Anal sex, yay or nay? Yay!

Have you ever dated a fat person? Depends what you consider 'fat'.

What is truly attractive to you? It's hard to say, it's a complicated answer.

You see a spider web in the corner of your room. What do you do? There's one in the corner of my room right now, I ignore it unless I see a spider in it.

Name a song that reminds you of a past relationship: Hmm.

Do you think anyone hates you? I hope not.

What do you think your last ex would say about you? TBH I have no idea.

Do you still talk to the first person you fell in love with? Well, yes, cos he's my boyfriend :P

Have you ever been punched? No.

Do you care about what’s happening in other countries? I mean, sure, I keep an eye on it.

Do you believe in the afterlife? No.

What is your greatest achievement? Graduating uni I guess.

What kind of bottled water do you drink? I usually just drink tap water, but if I'm out and get water then it's usually just Pump.

What’s the most you’ve ever lost gambling? The only time I ever gambled, someone gave me money, it was $20 or so. I lost it all lol.

Have you ever waited in line overnight for something? No.

Do you watch porn? Yep haha.

If you don’t, do you have a moral reasoning behind that decision? -

Do/did you ever attend church regularly? No.

Do you have a godmother/godfather/both? No.

Do you watch Supernatural? No.

Do you go to a firework show every 4th of July? Not everyone is American.

Are you diabetic? No.

Are you allergic to gluten? No.

Are you lactose intolerant? Mildly. If I eat too much cheese, it gives me a stomachache.

If you have shoplifted, are you afraid of getting in trouble? I've never done it.

How long have you been single? (Or dating your current interest) We've been together since June 2022, so 2 years in a couple of months!

Do any famous people follow you on Twitter or Instagram? A few wrestlers and a few popstars.

Name all the people you know that you’ve seen today. My Mum & Dad and that's it so far, I'll see my boyfriend later though.

Have you ever read a book about a character in a psych ward? No.

Have you ever been in a mental hospital as a patient? No.

Do you take birth control pills? I have an IUD, so I don't have to.

Do you like soy sauce? Sure.

What’s the name of the most recent baby a friend had? Dunno.

Would you ever wear real fur? Nooooo.

Have you ever been considered popular? Depends...

Favorite undersea creature? Hmm.

What types of things would you plant in a garden? Something easy to maintain.

Favorite type of fantasy creature? Djinns/genies.

Are you short or tall for your age? Short.

Have you ever liked someone much older than you? Of course! My boyfriend is 18 years older than me for a start, and most of my crushes, celebrity or otherwise, are older than me.

What was your first favorite band? Spice Girls. I'm a 90s girl through and through.

Anyone’s grave you visit, regularly? No.

Have you ever been seriously addicted to anything? No.

Have you ever had a hamster? No.

How many books have you read in the past YEAR? A few.

Are you popular on any websites? Uh, well... there's a certain NSFW site that I have an account on, I have over 5000 followers on it and I get comments and DMs constantly on there. So I'd say I was quite popular xD

Ever been in the emergency room? Yes.

Are you subscribed to anything (magazines, monthly boxes, streaming sites, etc.)? I have loads - YouTube Premium, last.fm Pro, Discord, Spotify, WWE Network, AEW Plus and right now I have Disney+ but I'll prob cancel it before I get charged again. I also have a magazine website sub but I got it for free cos I won it from the McDonalds Monopoly thing xD

Have you ever given a lap dance? Yes, as a joke.

Do bats frighten you? Never seen one in real life haha.

Are you a KPOP fan? Yep, I'm an old school fan, I got into it in about 2008 before it got big outside SK. I love all the older girl groups like Girls' Generation, f(x), After School, 2NE1, Wonder Girls etc.

Were you anyone’s first kiss? Yes, and he was mine!

Will you keep your last name when you get married? -

Are you biracial? I'm white, so no.

What is your most expensive piece of clothing? Good question, maybe a jacket of some sort?

Have you ever started a rumor? Yes, but it was just a joke and nobody really believed it.

Color of your bedspread? Right now it's grey, but it's two sided, the other side is black.

Do you have a piggy bank? Yes.

Did you ever skip a grade or get held back a grade? No.

What’s your favorite rock band? Queen or The Beatles?

What color(s) eyeshadow do you wear the most? None.

Do you identify with any organized religion? No, I'm an atheist.

Have you read the book 13 Reasons Why or watched the show? No.

What is the sexiest part of the opposite sex’s body? Depends on the person, but in general, I love muscly arms and shoulders.

Are you confrontational? Depends.

Who was the last person you know (or that you know of) that died? Zoe :(

Does your first crush know that he/she was your first crush? Yes.

Do you like your butt? I have basically no butt.

Have you ever been to a night club? Yep.

Do you believe in reincarnation? No.

Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog? -

Do you use any styling products on your hair? No.

Do you have a favorite local band? Who are they? Not really.

Do you use the Facebook chat often? Yep, all the time.

Do you own a robe? What color is it? No.

Who ended your last relationship? He did.

Have you ever been engaged? No.

Do you have any bug bites on you right now? If so, where? No.

What is the biggest problem in your life right now? My widsom teeth, they're annoying me.

How many pets do you have? None.

Do you like tomatoes? I love tomato sauce xD

When was the last time you shaved your legs? I do it every week in the shower.

Do you have any exes your parents never liked? Oh yeah, quite a few cos of all my older exes.

Are you a fast or a slow eater? Neither, I'm just average I think.

What was the last thing you purchased from a small local business? Hmm, not sure.

Have you ever run from the police? No.

What does your wallet look like? I don't use one.

Do you have any hickeys on you? No.

If you had a son right now, what would you name him? I don't want kids, but if I did, I'd name him Nathaniel.

Have you ever dated someone longer than a year? Yep.

Have you ever done ballet? No.

When was the last time you consumed alcohol? A couple of weeks ago.

Are you interested in creative writing of any sort? Yes.

Are any of your friends virgins? No.

Who is the funniest person you know? Ngawari, David or my boyfriend.

Are you overweight? No.

Ever had a black eye? Yes.

Last person to cuddle with? My boyfriend.

Have you ever lost a friend to drugs or alcohol? No.

Have you ever read a play outside of school? No.

Do you listen to music while you sleep? No, it has to be quiet.

Do you sell any products? If so, what? No.

Do you own a bobblehead? No.

Do you like scrambled eggs? Not really, but they're ok.

What is currently happening that is scaring you? Dunno.

What was the last movie you saw and who did you watch it with? I have no idea actually, I don't watch movies much.

Can you cry on command? If so, have you ever used it to your advantage? Yes, and yes lol.

Have you ever snuck out of your house? Yep, as a teenager.

Can you do any impressions? I can try lol.

Have you ever been kicked out of a public place? Why? My friends and I got kicked out of a nightclub once cos my friend was high and managed to fall asleep in this super loud club with music booming. The bouncers figured out she was high as hell and booted all of us lmfao.

Do you have any important anniversaries you celebrate? Yes.

Do you know how to use a DSLR camera? Dunno.

#survey #surveys #random survey #personal survey

0 notes

seeklovenet · 2 years

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Explanation Why You Should Date A Latina Lifetime Mate

Dating a Latina will provide you with that feeling of being in a telenovela. Unfortunately this is amongst the most frequent complaints we get from our readers, where they really feel they do not seem to be a precedence for his or her boyfriend or husband. They always appear to have some excuse as to why they cannot spend some quality time with you like they used to.

Latinas have to be taught “balance and discipline? ” Keep your bizarre fetishes and sexual colonialism to your self please. I really feel sorry for any Latina who would date you- you clearly don’t even see them as full human beings. If you deal with your Latina lady, she’s going to make certain that nobody can care for you want she does. She will love you immensely, passionately, and actively.

Latina Women Must Really Feel Needed, In Order That They Subconsciously Let A Man Really Feel Needed

I understood why he pronounced my name like he did. I let him get away with saying everyone;s names with an Italian accent. Sounds like you’re Woke and I can let you know this, Latinas don’t like Soy Boys as a end result of those pretend males can’t handle an actual woman so return to your feminists. Honestly before I learn your reply I thought to myself, they weren’t actually stereotypes a lot as the reality. This is a gross article that reduces Latina ladies and folks to stereotypes.

I looked at him and asked him why he never informed me he may communicate Spanish. He told me he couldn’t however he spoke Italian, so he could work out Spanish. I figured out where the funny words came from, he was attempting to make Spanish words out of Italian words.

Speak partial or fluent Spanish to indicate off your dedication to her culture and family. Show your family love and compassion no matter their flaws. Always maintain her guessing with different acts of love to keep that particular spark brighter than ever. Latinas need to see you wanting fresh, confident, and sexy! Shower with cleaning soap, trim your beard, brush your enamel, work out day by day, and wear clear clothes.

That’s a no go… por lo menos en la mayoría de las familias . Things are progressively altering, however generally, that’s how they work. It’s not as scary because it may appear, though!

Costume Well To Draw A Latina

Show her your gentle aspect with creativity and love. With one of the best meal of her life and show her you’re a worthy cooking companion. What if you should fend off your enemies in the street?

Central and Southern American immigrants in the United States get used to speaking English whereas their native language is both Spanish or Portuguese. Although their English will not be good and they converse it with accents, that has a profound impact on their brain. Moreover, it develops cognitive abilities and may stop dementia at old age.

On That Note, Folks Will Assume She’s Not Educated Or Expert

So, on this article I’m actually going to disclose eight secrets and techniques in your relationship with that Mexican sweetie to be simply excellent. Latinas are hopeless romantics who want a prince charming to be more than just handsome. Show your love via acts of kindness such as hidden notes or surprise travel plans. Write her a track from pure inspiration with any musical instrument.

Nevertheless, Latinas don't give a care about how individuals look down on them. They wouldn't want to be the rest even when it was potential. They take so much ardour and pride in who they are.

Also, if you want to know more about Latinas family, pals, and group then you should hang around with them during Hispanic holidays. Somehow, these holidays give Latinas the proper excuse to celebration. I think there are a lot of factors that influence as people, and I don’t suppose it’s honest to swipe everybody underneath an umbrella. How/why/if that is true for many Latinas, I wouldn’t know, but this has been true with most that I’ve met. Latinas enterprise have grown very well just lately. Their opening companies price is nearly six occasions higher than any other group.

I don’t know what that other man is speaking about but one factor you should know is kind of all Latina ladies won’t put up with a cheater. Latinos are very passionate… significantly the ladies. This can lead to a tradition of paradox extremes– a Latina ladies is both ridiculously fit, or struggling with obesity. They need to talk (in case you couldn’t inform with all my writing and expressing myself by way of trend and dance HAHA). Anyways, this need empowers our relationships. Correlated to how hard we love and to our confidence, Latina women like to indicate the world how fantastic you might be.

Once someone turns into pals with a Latina, their lives will not be the same anymore. They are by no means gonna remorse a factor to have ever recognized a Latina in their whole lives. We had to stop at my home to pick up something before we went to a convention and a dinner. While he was ready for me, my mom supplied him one thing to eat. I cringed, but as a substitute, out of his mouth coame this lilting, charming reply with a zeta and a few humorous words. Mama understood and brought him somewhat bit and a cup of espresso.

Latinas Get To Visit Different Countries All The Time

Latin’s love to absorb your facial response, and if you break down crying every meal, your Latina lady wouldn’t be too impressed. Powerful – Latina Power 👊🏽👊🏼👊🏿👊🏻👊🏾 from the boardroom, classroom to the home, Latinas are ensuring their voices are heard. Latinas are having a serious breakthrough and we refuse to call it a second. Having influence over huge latin american dating app purchase decisions at residence to influencing media, policies and developments, Latinas have major poder and it is being noticed. There are lots Latinas women that Latinas are proud of. They present the others that everyone has the potential to alter the world.

Somehow, it in all probability has ready them to confront unhealthy instances with a lesser sense of unreliability. Don't matter how hard life is, they face it wholeheartedly. Latinas make pals so much simpler shows in the truth that Latinas are the world's most pleasant people. They usually have a tendency to befriend individuals outside of Latin ethnicity than different teams. It isn't exhausting for Latinas to get together with new folks.

What if she breaks her ankle within the mountains and must be carried? What if she’s impressed by another man who works out in the gym? Those are 18 Reasons Why You Should Date a Latina you want to know. Get your self a Latina and you can see your life becomes more price dwelling for.

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nadja-antipaxos · 2 years

Text

three - mirrorball

Previously - Two || Masterlist || Next - Four

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: swearing, drinking alcohol, mentions of divorce

Note: Please leave comments if you so desire. Chapter takes place after 2x05 but before 2x06

Word Count: 2,950

Priyala picks her girls up after school and brings them to Rushil’s house. The door opens and Hena towers over all of them. A smile grows on her stunningly sculpted face.

“Hi, girls! Hi, Priyala.” Even her voice is perfect with that posh London accent.

“Hi, Hena.” Priyala smiles and hears the girls murmur some greeting. Her athleisure wear clings to a long slender voluptuous body as she welcomes them inside.

The house is huge, immaculate, and beautiful.

“Do you want anything to drink?” She leads them into the sitting room where Rushil is typing away on his phone.

“I’m fine.” Priyala waves her hand.

“Hi, Daddy!” Diya rushes to him and he hops up from his seat to swoop her off the ground.

“Diya, my darling! How are you?”

“Good, Daddy. We made new friends.”

He throws her over his broad shoulder and looks at his ex-wife and eldest daughter. He’s a foot taller than Priyala, so she absolutely feels like a mouse in his home between him and Hena. She hopes the girls get his height. She went to school in England, met him, and stayed. It didn’t work out, but it gave her the girls and he is a great father.

“You did? At school?” He’s spinning Diya around on his back.

“No. At a coffee shop.” Diya giggles.

Rushil sets her down and gives Jaya a hug. She’s a little stiff.

“Tell me more about your new friends.”

“It’s Coach Beard and Coach Lasso from Richmond,” Jaya states plainly.

“W-What?” His dark eyes light up.

“Diya took too long to order, so Mummy bought their coffee.” Jaya continues.

“Coach Beard likes her books.” Diya smiles.

“Wow. That’s actually really cool.” Rushil chuckles.

“They, uh, invited us on Saturday to the game,” Priyala adds awkwardly nodding.

“Match.” Rushil and Diya correct her.

“Whatever.” Priyala rolls her eyes. She could give a shit.

“Take loads of pictures especially if you get to meet anyone and have lots of fun.” Rushil smiles.

Priyala goes home alone before Hena awkwardly tries to get her to stay for dinner. She appreciates the effort. She does. It doesn’t mean she wants to pretend to be a happy, blended family. Her daughters have stable adults in their lives who cherish them and that’s all she could ask for.

Her two-floor flat is much smaller than Rushil’s. Once they got divorced, they sold their home, split the profits, and she bought this one. Maybe it was because he did the leaving, but Rushil’s always been a great co-parent. He wanted them to both live in London, so that the girls knew both parents weren’t far away. It has enough space for her and the girls with four bedrooms and 4 bathrooms. She has some leftover veggie stew she made and opens a bottle of wine. She looks at her phone and thinks about texting Ted. What would she say? He’s clearly being very kind by inviting them to the game. She suspects his real intention was to make Diya happy. He seems like a good guy like that and she hasn’t been shy about how much she loves Richmond. Priyala needs to find out how much the tickets are, so she can pay him back. As if on cue, her phone goes off.

Ted Lasso (6:05 pm)

Hey. Ted Lasso here.

Priyala Kumari (6:06 pm)

Hi Ted. Priyala here.

Ted Lasso (6:07 pm)

Hope you’re having yourself a fine evening.

Your tickets will be under Nora Ephron at the booth.

Priyala Kumari (6:07 pm)

LOL! You can use my name.

Ted Lasso (6:08 pm)

Wanted to save you from the papa-paparazzi.

Priyala Kumari (6:08 pm)

I’ll be okay. Thanks, Gaga.

Priyala chuckles and sets her phone down. What a strange funny man.

Diya has all her Richmond gear on from her kit to her scarf to the hair ties holding up her pigtails. The hair ties were actually just the colors since the official merchandise did not sell them. Jaya wears the team colors like her mom but doesn’t care enough to wear anything regarding the team. She has her headphones and a young adult novel ready to go on her phone. They take a quick photo holding up peace signs since that’s Priyala’s go-to for selfies and she sends it off to Ted. They’re ushered up to the owner’s box to their surprise. Priyala spies Keeley with a gorgeous blonde woman and an older stocky grey-haired gentleman with glasses.

“Priyala!” Keeley stands up and gives her a hug. “Everyone, this is Priyala Kumari and her daughters.”

“Hi!” Priyala holds up a gloved hand. “This is Diya and this is Jaya. Ted invited us. I didn’t expect the seats to be—we can sit somewhere else.”

“Nonsense.” Rebecca waves her off. “I’m Rebecca Welton and I’m the bloody owner and I say you sit with us.”

“And I’m Leslie Higgins. Director of Football Operations.”

“Nice to meet you.” The girls chorus together.

“Are you excited?” Rebecca asks Diya.

“Yes! Especially since Ted—“ She looks at her mother. “Coach Lasso said to expect some big changes.”

“Who is that?” Jaya asks.

“That’s Isaac McAdoo. He’s the captain.” Diya tells her.

“He’s gorgeous.” She watches Isaac running around giving out handshakes for the warmup.

“Jaya!” Priyala laughs.

“I think so too.” Keeley raises her eyebrows and Jaya smiles.

Leslie excuses himself to find his wife.

“Wait.” He stops and looks back. “Did you write Just a Kiss?”

“I did.” Priyala nods.

“My wife loves that book. She’s gonna be so excited to meet you.”

“I’m excited to meet her.” She smiles.

Leslie grins before continuing down the aisle. Rebecca leans over past Keeley.

“So, you’re a writer?”

“Yeah. Romantic comedies. One’s being made into a movie, so I’m trying screenwriting.”

“I’ll let you borrow mine. They’re so fuck—fricking good.” Keeley touches Rebecca’s arm. “Truly.”

“It’s okay if it’s not your thing.” Priyala feels a little intimidated by Rebecca.

“I’ll try anything once.” Rebecca shrugs with a slight smile.

“That’s brave.” Priyala chuckles.

“She’s always brave.” Keeley grins.

Their conversation gets interrupted by the crowd chanting Roy’s song. Priyala’s brow furrows.

“He’s here. He’s there. He’s every flipping where. Roy Kent!” Diya yells. She points and they see a black-suited Roy Kent moving across the pitch to Ted and the other coaches. Keeley swears under her breath.

“Is he here to coach?” Diya asks.

Jaya and Priyala look at each other, not knowing what’s happening. Priyala puts her hands up knowing she’ll never get it. It’s nice to see Roy and it’s the first time she’s allowed herself to look at Ted. All the coaches look a little tense. It makes her stomach jump a bit. She’s…nervous for him. Why is she nervous for him? He’s not playing.

The team seems energized with their new coach and they’re doing well. Higgins returns with his wife who is quite happy to meet Priyala and they watch the match. The ref cards Jamie for being offsides and Diya jumps to her feet.

“Are you blind, ref? You call that offsides!” She screams. “Get your bloody eyes checked!”

Keeley and Rebecca look at her mother.

“Don’t say bloody, Diya.”

“But did you—he wasn’t—ughhhh!” She stomps up and down.

“She’s very passionate.”

It’s tight, but Richmond wins the match. Keeley and Rebecca invite them back to the locker room. Keeley makes sure everyone is decent before letting the children in. Priyala walks in with the girls. Keeley looks back at Rebecca.

“Ted fancies her, yeah?”

“Not sure yet.”

Ted spots them right away and introduces them to the team. Diya looks at her sister before walking over to Jamie. Her tiny foot kicks him in the shin without warning.

“Ow!” He clutches it.

“That’s for getting us relegated.” She makes a face and then runs to Roy who is laughing.

“That was brilliant, but what did I say about your anger?” He hunches down.

“Only use it on the field.” Diya rolls her eyes.

“Good girl.” He squeezes her shoulder.

“I’m really sorry.” Priyala sighs and looks at Jamie.

“Don’t be. Got us talkin’, yeah?” He looks her up and down.

“Ooh, you are trouble aren’t you? Just a walking bad decision.” Priyala laughs.

“Wanna find out?” He winks.

“You’re a mistake I would’ve made in my 20s.” She shakes her head.

“And you’re what? 30 now?” He arches an eyebrow that has a racer stripe running through it.

“You’re good.” Priyala points at him.

Diya sees her mom laughing with Jamie and growls. She’s ready to attack him again, so Roy steers her over to Sam who is her favorite.

“You were brilliant!” She tells him.

“Thank you. You said your name is Diya, yes?”

“Yes.”

“Let’s get a picture for Diya, everyone.” He yells.

Jaya joins in for this and stands next to Isaac. He looks down at her and she gives him a flirty, silent nod. He furrows his brow before looking at the camera. They take a few pictures and the girls are satisfied.

Ted finally makes his way over to Priyala.

“Thanks for the pic. Glad you made it.” He smiles. “What’d you think?”

“Sports…are not my thing, but this was fun. Rebecca’s awesome.”

“She is, isn’t she? Real hashtag girl boss.”

“Yeah, and her whole look is hashtag goals.”

“Ain’t that the truthski, Belushi."

“Jim or John?”

“No offense to Jim, but always John.”

“Good…you passed.” She opens her purse. “How much were the tickets?”

Ted waves his hand wildly. “No, it was a gift.”

“Are you sure? Please let me at least get you a friendly congratulations dinner.”

“I won’t say no to free food.”

“Great. Um. I gotta take the girls to their dad’s, but I could meet you there?”

“Crown and Anchor? In an hour?”

“Sure.”

Priyala opens the invitation to the other coaches, but they have plans. The girls say goodbye and she drops them at Rushil’s. She meets Ted at the bar and they walk in.

“Congrats, wanker!”

“Finally got it right, wanker!”

“Could’ve hired Kent sooner, wanker!” Patrons yell at Ted when they walk in.

His ears turn pink.

“Fellas, please don’t embarrass me in front of my friend. Just for—-”

Priyala steps in front of him despite the fact he’s almost a foot taller than her (9 inches to be exact).

“He’s a wanker? Suck my dick.”

“He—“

“Call him a wanker again. I dare you.”

The men shrink back and focus on their beers. Ted raises his eyebrows, impressed.

“You gonna fight all of London?”

“Fuck yeah I will.”

“I can’t complain, GI Jane.”

They find a table and Mae walks over. She greets Priyala with a smile.

“Got yourself a keeper, Ted.”

“Oh, we’re just friends, Mae. This is Priyala Kumari.”

“I know who she is. Nice to meet you, dear.”

“Nice to meet you.” She smiles back.

They order and the pints come in glasses which Priyala makes note of.

“There’s not a good way to drink beer in a bottle cause you just look like you’re deep throating it.”

Ted nearly chokes.

“I do believe your mouth rivals Roy Kent’s.”

“When Diya joined his soccer—football team, I had no idea who he was.”

“And look at ya now eating dinner with a soccer—football coach—manager.”

“You’re called a manager?”

“Yes.”

“So if I wanna speak with the manager…”

“That’s me.”

“That’s you.”

They both chuckle while she picks at her fish and chips. She offers a few to him and he shakes his head.

“You’re from Kansas, so how did you end up here?”

“My wife—Henry’s mom wanted some space so I took it. We’d been together for a long time and I couldn’t see it. Helped me figure out it wasn’t making her happy.”

“Hence the ex.”

“Yeah. I try not to use that since it just sounds so negative. And I’m not upset with her.”

“Lucky you. I mean, I’m not upset anymore, but two years ago—different story. Rushil and I were together since college. Then he didn’t wanna be married anymore. I was shocked then six months later he gets remarried to this tall, stunning woman. My absolute opposite. He just didn’t wanna be married to me.”

“I’m real sorry.”

“It’s okay. Divorce just fucking sucks. Especially when you have kids.”

“Yeah. It ain’t easy.”

“Have you or your—Henry’s mom started dating?”

“Michelle. I don’t know about her. I’m just not interested at the moment.”

“Well, sharing your child with someone who did not help create them is a nightmare at first. Because who is this person? Why are they involved? Do my kids like her more. Not that…Hena is super sweet and it worked out. It just takes a lot to get used to…but it worked out.”

“I honestly can say I’m not ready for that.”

“You have my number if you need anything.”

“Thank you. I appreciate you saying that.”

Ted grabs some chips off her plate and she sneaks a grin. She expected things to be awkward, but it’s very familiar and easy. Maybe because he’s so authentic she can’t help it but be herself around him. No fronts. No pretenses. He really did just want to have dinner with his new friend.

“Okay. Enough bummer conversation. What’s Henry look like? Does he have a placeholder mustache made from construction paper?”

Ted laughs loudly at the idea before pulling out his phone and showing her. Priyala raises her eyebrows with interest.

“Ohh, he looks like you. What’s with the ties?”

“We had a streak of tie games. Then we lost. And lost.”

“So he has your sense of humor. Cute.”

“Yeah. He’s the best part of my life.”

“It’s what you live for.” Priyala smiles again making Ted’s heart jump.

They don’t say anything else for a moment or two. She has a really nice smile and she’s easy to talk to. He realizes he doesn’t have any friends that are divorced with children. It feels good to be able to relate.

“How old is he? Eight? Nine?”

“Eight like Diya.”

“That age is good. Jaya is 11 and on that pre-teen rollercoaster. One minute she loves me the next she can’t stand me.”

“Oof. Sounds rough.”

“Just wait.”

He leans forward and she instinctively does the same.

“If ya don’t mind me asking, how do you write such great romance even after all that?”

“Oh, easy. That’s fantasy.”

“You don’t believe in true love?” Ted’s a little shocked. It’s like hearing Michael Jordan prefers chess to hoops.

“I wish I did but it’s a lot easier when real life doesn’t get in the way. I get to make up what happens.”

“You’re in control, Billy Joel.”

She laughs and nods.

“Does Henry rhyme too?”

“He does.”

“Good. I like that Lasso trait.”

Ted smiles when she looks down at her food. She’s a real nice person.

Ted finishes his beer and Priyala takes a little longer since she’s more focused on the chips.

“Keeley told me about your new sponsor. The 1940s dating app.”

“Bantr? I haven’t tried it but it’s an interesting concept.”

“She told me to join it before I left. She’s good at her job.”

They both look down and stay silent.

“We could both try it.” He tilts his head.

“Both jump like Thelma and Louise? Or Butch and Sundance?” She laughs.

“I was hoping it’d be less tragic.”

“Sorry, I guess I’m more of a realist.”

Even though she offered, Ted fights her for the check. She wins with a stern look. He walks her back to her car.

“Could ya shoot me a text sayin’ you got home all right?” He feels his neck burn as he says it.

“You’re such a dad.” Priyala chuckles. “But yeah. I can do that.”

They both stare at each other for what feels like forever but is only a few seconds. She goes in for a polite hug and he meets her in the middle.

“Thank you. This was fun.” She pulls back.

“Yeah, it was.” He nods. He’s so glad she got him coffee that day because now he has a new friend. He doesn’t know it, but she’s thanking Diya for her indecisiveness for once. This wouldn’t have happened otherwise.

After letting him know that she’s home, Priyala does a little bit of writing for the screenplay. It’s still taking a while to get used to the format, but thankfully, she wrote the source material. She never thought her books would ever be made into movies.

Ted watches some television and flips around. It’s been a busy day and he’s exhausted. He gets ready for bed while miles away Priyala brushes her teeth. They both stare at their phones, deep in thought before just going for it and downloading bantr. If it doesn’t work, it’s easy to delete. It doesn’t take her long to come up with a username that she knows no one will get. It takes Ted a little longer because he desperately wants to use barbecue in there, but decides against it. They both set a decent radius because they’re not going to travel too far with how busy their lives are. Priyala accepts the matches it generates. She doesn’t think much will happen with HottieWithaBody69 or FitandFlirty32 and goes to sleep. Ted’s a little pickier and smiles at the suggestion of ABouquet_of_Sharpened_Pencils. He hopes it’s a You’ve Got Mail reference. Might as well test it. Just one brief message and he’s going to bed.

SirBakesaLot

Dear friend…

#ted lasso #ted lasso x oc #ted lasso x ofc #oc: priyala kumari #fan fic #mirrorball

0 notes

bitsandbobsofwriting · 3 years

Text

A new servant desperately struggles to understand what exactly Merlin is:

A cryptid? Arthur's boyfriend? Simply a dude? The court jester? Something else entirely? Who knows, certainly not the new guy.

The first time the new kitchen-hand, Tristan, saw The King’s dark-haired servant sprinting down the corridor, he couldn’t tell if the man was laughing or crying.

He was fast, faster than Tristan thought possible for someone whose arms were so full of laundry, but he politely steps out of the way, coming to the conclusion that he must’ve been late for something. At least... he did think that, until he turns the next corner to see three of The king’s most trusted knights peering out of windows and into random doors. Tristan freezes in the corridor, he’d heard that servants were treated extremely well here, but he’d only been employed for a few days and he didn’t want to risk anything by pushing past or addressing his betters.

One of the knights, Sir Leon, his brain helpfully supplies, spots him stood there, and his annoyed frown quickly morphs into a friendly smile:

“Pardon me, sorry, I don’t suppose you’ve seen Merlin around anywhere, have you?”

Tristan’s eyes go wide and the grip he has on his tray tightens, but he forces himself to take a breath and answer, trying his best to keep his voice even:

“Merlin is... The King’s manservant? Tall, with dark hair?”

Another knight pushes forward, he looks to be the oldest, with dark hair falling in an almost deliberately tousled way around his bearded jawline. His charming grin seems just a little too wide to be genuine, but Tristan isn’t quite sure if that’s because he’s about to take pleasure in punishing someone, or if he’s just being polite to a stranger:

“Yeah, yeah that’s him, seen him? Arsehole turned our shirts pink in the wash, and something tells me it was deliberate.”

Tristan gulps at the accusation and he takes a shaky step back, but before he can even think of defending the stranger that he now thinks must’ve been crying, the last of the three knights, a giant, if Tristan believed in such things, steps forward:

“Don’t worry, we won’t beat him too much.”

He says it with a grin and a quirk of his eyebrows, but once again the kitchen-hand can’t tell if it was cruel or genuine, if he was being sarcastic or not.

“Uh... yeah, he turned left at the end of this corridor, but I didn’t see where he went after that, I apologise.”

Sir Leon waves away his apology with a smile, looking to the long-haired knight with a raised eyebrow:

“The stables?”

The man grins widely, nodding his agreement as he turns his grin to the giant. Sir Leon offers Tristan another soft smile, murmuring his thanks before moving past him, elbowing the other two to prompt them in to thanking him as well. The three of them march down the corridor with almost vindictive smiles on their faces, and Tristan prepares himself to see a vacancy note, or possibly a funeral invite, posted on the notice board by the next morning.

When he passes a window that evening to see the King’s manservant being carried on the giant’s shoulders as five other knights pelt them with gloves, a grin on every face, he decides that... well... it’s probably best to just not to ask.

The next time he sees Merlin, a few days later, The King is also there.

This is the first time Tristan has been in Arthur Pendragon’s presence, and though the other servant’s all rave on about how awkwardly kind he is, he’s a bundle of nerves. Not even Cook’s stories about how often she whacks The King’s knuckles with a wooden spoon when she catches him about to pilfer something stops Tristan’s heart from racing.

The King was overseeing a few of the servants decorate the main hall for a feast, and whilst Tristan is certain that that’s not something The King normally does, he doesn’t question it, just thinks that maybe the other servants had been telling the truth, and he was a genuinely nice, but normal man.

Merlin stands at his side, and though Tristan can’t hear their conversation, the two of them are clearly bickering over something. The servant can’t help his curiosity, wanting desperately to move closer to find out what sort of things The King allows his servant to bicker with him about; luckily, the table right next to them has yet to be laid, so he moves towards it quickly. He doesn’t even glance at them, terrified of being caught out, but perhaps Merlin surviving the knights non-wrath the other day is encouraging him, and his steps don’t falter. Their words come in to focus, and he has to stop the confused, and slightly horrified, frown from spreading across his face:

“Arthur, I swear to the Gods, if you make me wear that hat again, I’ll piss in your wine and serve it to you in front of a crowd.”

The King scoffs just as Tristan shakily begins laying down the cutlery:

“That’s treason, Merlin.”

“Do I look like I care? Not only will I piss in your wine, I will not hesitate to push you over a balcony at the first opportunity. This hall is high up and it’s a long way down to the gardens. He drank toxic wine and turned loopy and tipped himself off a balcony and went splat! That’s what people will say. I’m not wearing the Godamn hat.”

Tristan has to focus extra carefully to stop himself from gasping; Merlin just threatened to kill The King... that’s got to be a death sentence. Pissing off some knights that he’s obviously friendly with is one thing, but threatening to kill The-

“Ha ha. Very funny. If you can’t tell, Merlin, I’m being sarcastic, I know you struggle with complex concepts like that.”

Merlin just rolls his eyes, crossing his arms as he says with no hesitation:

“My mind is more than capable of coping, My Lord, it’s your belt I worry about being able to cope nowadays.”

Tristan bites his tongue to stop himself from yelping and turns away so neither of them can see his horrified face. The King just makes an outraged noise in the back of his throat, and Tristan can hear Merlin snort in laughter at whatever expression Arthur was wearing to match such a noise:

“Go to the stocks. I want you there for three hours.”

Tristan lets out a confused breath; Merlin threatens to kill The King, and gets playful sarcasm, but he implies The King might be a tad overweight, and gets sent to the stocks for three hours? How is that-

“Yeah... no. Not happening. The feast starts in less than two hours and I still have to help Guinevere organise some stuff in the courtyard, do Gaius’ rounds for him, then put an extra hole in your belt and help you get dressed because, despite being a grown man, you’re still an idiot who’s incapable of putting clothes on in any sort of decent manner.”

Tristan finds himself relaxing a little. This seems to be the norm for them, but surely... surely The King had a line somewhere, and a servant just flat out refusing to be disciplined must be where it lies?

Arthur just scoffs, and Tristan angles his head in such a way that he can see him roll his eyes:

“Fuck off.”

Merlin grins, seeming to cast a suspicious gaze over the room to make sure no one was watching and somehow completely missing Tristan stood just there, before saying quietly:

“You love me really, you prat.”

With that, Merlin reaches up to yank at a lock of The King’s hair before hurrying off in the direction of the courtyard before Arthur can react. The King jumps slightly, clearly caught by surprise as an annoyed flush rises on his face, but Tristan just frowns in confusion when his shock gives way to a softly amused smile.

Huh.

The next few times Tristan saw Merlin made him fear for the servant’s safety. He was being taken on hunts by The King and his knights, that’s meant to be for squires, to learn the ropes and gain experience in tracking and riding.

He supposes it isn’t entirely unheard of for a servant to follow their master on a hunt, but with the way Merlin complains without pause, and The King in turn complains about his complaining, he thinks it would better for everyone if Merlin just... didn’t go. When he brings it up to another servant, a lovely woman named Guinevere who had helped him get unlost at least three times in his first week, she just laughs and smiles at him pityingly:

“I wouldn’t worry, those two have been like that forever, they’re practically inseparable.”

Tristan responds with a rather intelligent sounding:

“...What?”

Gwen laughs softly again, shaking her head and patting his shoulder consolingly:

“You’ll get used to it, they’re just... like that.”

She gives him one more smile before turning to wave the boys out of the gates and walking back to the castle as if this were the most normal thing in the world. Tristan supposes that it probably is.

The next time Tristan sees Merlin leave the city gates with the knights, Sir Elyan, Sir Mordred, and Sir Lancelot this time, it’s distinctly worse. Because he’d caught sight of the patrol rota last time he ran food down to the training ground, and he was certain that those three had a city patrol right about now.

Before he even has time to gape in shock, he hears Merlin’s pleading voice as he trails Sir Elyan like a lost puppy:

“Please, El, I promise to stay out of the way, I will do anything, but I swear to the Gods if I have to spend one more minute around that prat, I’ll hurl myself from the battlements.”

Swearing to the Gods and threating to hurl various people, including himself, from significant heights seems to be some sort of theme for The King’s manservant. Before Tristan can consider the implications of that, Sir Elyan turns to Merlin with a wide, teasing grin on his face:

“You know, I would’ve let you tag along for free, Merlin, but now that you’ve promised me something I feel the need to take advantage.”

Tristan tenses at that, a shot of ice spiking down his spine. He has keen eyes and sharp ears, he knows that Sir Elyan is the lovely Gwen’s brother, Sir Mordred seems to have an... odd worship for the servant, and he’s definitely picked up on the close bond between Merlin and Sir Lancelot, but is this where Camelot’s image comes crashing down in Tristan’s head? He knew that it was better here for servant’s than other Kingdoms, but there are always people who’ll take advantage of their position, no matter where you are. Merlin’s shoulders just drop and he asks in a sulking voice:

“What do you want?”

Tristan grits his teeth, moving his gaze so no one would catch him glaring at the knight as he tries to figure out a way to help, a way to get this virtual stranger out of being... abused, in such a manner. If he’d carried on glaring, he would’ve noticed Elyan’s soft smile and amused raised eyebrow:

“Next time you gather herbs for Gaius, bring back some more of those flowers that you got for Gwen. She said they added vibrancy to the house, whatever that means, but they make her happy, so...-”

Merlin just giggles and nods and Tristan relaxes, looking back to them with a confused smile on his face. That was... actually kind of sweet, he can definitely see the resemblance between the knight and his sister:

“-AND I want whatever Arthur’s having for dinner tonight, his food always looks way nicer than ours.”

Merlin lets out a faux annoyed groan, but then rolls his eyes and grins, nodding:

“Consider it done. Can we go now? I really don’t want to risk him seeing me and giving me some stupid chore to do.”

Elyan laughs and nods, and the four of them begin making their way out of the courtyard and into the city. Sir Lancelot finally joins the conversation, clearly amused as he says:

“You know it’s literally your job to do chores, right?”

Merlin turns to glare at him as Sir Mordred and Sir Elyan laugh, and Tristan only just hears his reply as the castle gates shut behind them:

“Fuck off.”

Tristan decides it would be pointless to bring this up to anyone again, he figures he’ll probably just get the same answer as last time.

The next confusing incident happens only a few days later. But Tristan supposes that at this point... it really shouldn’t be confusing. Gwen was right, he did just... get used to it.

He heard the steps pounding down the corridor before he saw him, but they were coming fast and hard, so he presses himself against the wall, holding the tray to his side to protect it as best he could as Merlin comes skidding round the corner.

He stops just long enough for Tristan to calm himself by spying the wide grin on his face, but he’s quickly sprinting down the hall again, laughing as he waves whatever it is he’s got clutched in his hands. The second set of loud, rapid footsteps stops Tristan from stepping away from the wall quite yet. Just a moment later, Sir Gwaine follows Merlin’s skidded path around the corner, though the heavier man overshoots slightly and he runs into the wall opposite Tristan with a crash and a deep groan.

The rebellious knight gives a wide-eyed Tristan an awkward nod before pushing himself off the wall and following Merlin’s blazing trail, screaming down the corridor:

“I warned you Merlin!! Don’t come between a man and his ale, now give that back you bastard!”

Tristan hears Merlin’s laughter grow louder, even from the two corridors away that the other servant had managed to race to.

He shrugs to himself, waiting for a moment to see if anyone else was going to come barrelling around the corner before sighing, and continuing his journey up to the visiting Lord’s chambers.

It was unusual, he thought, how quickly he’d come to terms with the fact that a servant was sassing The King and pranking the knights and inviting himself on various hunts and patrols that he really had no business on. Unusual indeed.

He’d learnt to ignore it. Or at least brush it off.

In the two weeks since Merlin had (presumably) stolen Sir Gwaine’s skin of ale, he’d seen the servant call The King a long list of imaginative insults (what the hell is a dollop head?), walk around with Sir Leon’s cloak on because he was a little chilly, accuse someone of treason (and somehow been right about it), and threaten to kill at least seven people; including, but not limited to: The King himself, The King’s already dead father, some stuck up Noble (though that was under his breath, Tristan just happened to be stood next to him), and Sir Percival.

And Gwen was... absolutely right. He's just... like that. He's Merlin, and that’s what Merlin does.

So when he turns a corner in a rarely used to corridor to see him pressing The King against a wall, snogging the life out of him, Tristan simply turns around and walks back the other way. Both of them look fairly happy with the arrangement, and they’d probably chosen this corridor for the exact same reason Tristan had: it was out of everyone’s way, and was unlikely to be inhabited.

He thinks it’s odd, how... un-odd he finds it. He absent-mindedly thinks that, with the way they acted around each other, he really should’ve seen this coming. A sudden thought occurs to him, and he ducks into a storage cupboard, laying his tray down carefully as he rummages through the boxes. He lets out a quiet “Yay” when he finds what he’s looking for, carefully picking up his tray with only one hand and nudging the door open again with his hip.

He walks back towards the corner he had just turned (and turned again) making a conscious effort to keep his steps quiet; he places the danger sign, usually used where walls had collapsed or windows had been smashed, in the middle of the corridor, a clear indication of “Do Not Enter”.

He nods smugly at his quick thinking and easy handy work before mentally planning the quickest route to the kitchens and following it hurriedly.

He casually wonders if he has time to circle around to the other end of the corridor so he could put another sign down before Cook gets angry at him for being late. Probably not. At least, not before they... finish up and move on. Hmm. He suddenly panics about the thought of them seeing the sign and knowing that someone had spotted them but... well. Hopefully they would just appreciate it and move on.

Yet again, he decides not to bring this up to anyone. He may or may not have overheard a few of the knights making some sort of bet, and he may or may not want to watch on with amusement as they fail to realise that all of them have already lost.

Tristan smiles to himself; working here had turned out to be rather entertaining, in the end.

THE END

I know it’s short, but I really didn’t know what else to add without it sounding like I was just repeating myself over and over😅

I hope y’all enjoyed it!!

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oddsunnywoo · 3 years

Text

Fluff Alphabet- Fezco

Request: "Hi! I don't know if you still take requests but if you do could you please do fezco fluff aplhabet? it would be awesome! :)"

So, this is my first request, thank you for trust me to doing this, I hope you enjoy ;)

Sorry about my english

A- affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

- In front of the people, Fezco don't show much affection, but, If a guy try to hit on you at a party, he'll interrupt the conversation and would kiss you so hard in front of everyone.

- When you both are alone, he's the most cheesy person you ever know, he try to show his love with hugs, kisses, making (or trying to) your breakfast, just to show you how special you are.

B- beauty - (What does he admires about /What does he thinks is beautiful about you?)

-He really likes the way you treat him and Ash. A lot of people just see them like nothing, just drug dealers, but you, you see them like real people, you care about what they feel, how Ash handle this life (that is not normal for a kid) and how Fezco felt about Rue's coming to his house and screaming to him, he loves how you care about

-He loves your smile and how he can makes you laugh easily, he consider your smile the sun of his world, is one of the most beautiful things he has ever seen.

C- cuddle (They cuddle with you/ How they cuddle?)

-The happiest moment of his day is when you two are alone and just feeling the moment and the touches.

-A normal thing is when you two are just in the bed, ready for sleep and he hugs you e kiss all of your face. He plays with the marks on your body while you is passing your fingers through his beard.

D- dreamer (He dreams about a future with you?)

-Every day, he thinks a lot about having children with you, when he is back after a meet with Mouse, he thinks how his job will affect this future that he wants.

E- effort ( They put efforts on your relationship?)

-He put as much effort as he can because you are one of the only people in his life that really cares about him, so, he will try to not lose you. He gives you gifts out of your birthday, take you put for a date....

F- fights (Does he fight with you?)

-He doesn't like when you put yourself in dangerous because of him and when you do that, he doesn't scream with or something, he just talk to you. He doesn't like to fight or being aggressive with you.

G- gentle (is he gentle with you?)

-Yes, he asks you every time if you okay, he does little things just to see your smile, try to make every situation comfortable for you.

H- hurt (how he treats/handle when you are hurt?)

-He HATES to see you hurt (physically or mentally).

-He helps you when you get hurt, as like you do to him, cleaning you or with band-aids or even something else.

- He puts you in his bed e just stay there, listen to you, making you feel comfortable.

I-(???)

J- jealousy (does he get jealous?)

-Actually no, he knows that you will never kiss (or whatever) other person.

-He actually think that is funny when some random guy comes to you and start to flirt, because Fezco knows that you will leaving that "interesting flirt" to stay with him.

K- Kisses (where does he kisses you?)

-Anywhere and every time, he thinks that is a easy way to show how much he loves you.

L-(???)

M- marriage (has he thought about it?)

-He "dated" a lot of girls, but you are the only one that he seems walking to the aisle, with that white dress and every time he thinks about that, a smile grows up in his face.

N-(???)

O- open (Does he is open with you?)

-After his grandmother and Ash, you are one of the only people that he knows he can talk about everything.

-He has Rue, but no one has understood him in the way you do, he knows you will never judge him and thats why he trust you his life.

P- (???)

Q-(???)

R- romantic (he is romantic?)

-He tries. Because of the situation with his parents, he never saw this kind of attitude, but he tries to be like that guys from clichés movies.

-Dinners, flowers and buying somethings.

S- (???)

T- touch (What does he thinks about touch?)

-I not gonna say he hates that, he loves.

-He loves to walking with your hands together, hug you in the middle of the people, being in the bed just with you sharing kisses.

U- understanding (Does he understand you/your feelings?)

-Fezco is always trying to understand and help you, he knows when something is bothering you.

-He know that when you are in the middle of strangers, you start to bounce your legs because of the anxiety, that you cry in the end of every romantic movie.

V-(???)

W-(???)

X- (???)

Y-(???)

Z-(???)

#euphoria #fezco #fezco fanfic #fezco imagine #fezco x reader #fezco x y/n #angus cloud

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cowboybarzy · 3 years

Text

Playoff Beard

mat barzal x reader

warnings: smut (18+ only)

a/n: sorry to those who love Mat’s beard

You watched as the doors to the locker rooms opened and the players started walking out. Almost no one was talking and the mood was obviously down. You looked out for Mat in the crowd, not spotting him. You saw Tito though, and asked him where he was.

“He’s doing an interview”, he answered and you nodded. Then you gave him a hug. “Good job, even though that’s how it ended. You guys worked hard and deserved it so much.”

“Thank’s, (y/n).” you said bye to him, assuming he wasn’t up for much conversation at the moment. Leaning against the wall you waited for Mat to be done with his interview.

When the locker room door finally opened again and you saw the expression on Mats face when he walked out, your heart broke. He wasn’t holding himself the way he usually was - tall and proud - and his eyes were just full of sadness. You instantly reached out for him and as soon as his bag hit the floor his arms wrapped themselves around your body.

“Hi”, you whispered into his freshly washed hair. He didn’t answer, but instead squeezed you tighter, lifting you a little so he could bury his face in your neck. His beard was prickly against your skin, but you didn’t want to let go of the embrace. Slipping a hand into his hair that had gotten pretty long, you lightly massaged his head, hoping it would give him some extra comfort.

Mat took a deep breath and lifted his head to drop his forehead against yours. You could see his eyes were a bit wet, which broke your heart even more. Mat was an emotional guy, but he didn’t cry easily. “I’m so sorry about how today turned out. But I’m so proud of you, you worked so hard and you got so far, that does say something”, you said and lightly pressed your lips against his.

“I know”, he whispered, “it just really sucks.” You nodded in response. “I know.” Then you lifted your hand to wipe of a tear that had escaped his eyes and rolled down his cheek. It got caught in his rather patchy beard, that you couldn’t wait for him to shave off. The idea that all these men were growing a beard together in hopes of winning the Cup seemed funny to you, but you also kind of loved it. What you didn’t love however was how the beard looked on Mat. At first it was hot, but after day four or five of not shaving, it became really uncomfortable to touch or kiss him properly. Plus, it wasn’t even a full beard. Very patchy. You just wanted the damn thing gone and his cute little baby face back.

What sounded like a chuckle left his mouth. “I definitely just cried in live television.” Smiling back, you kissed another tear away. “That’s ok, shows you care. Nothing to be embarrassed about.”

“I’m not.” That’s your guy. You loved how emotional Mat was, and even though he didn’t cry easily, he wasn’t scared to own up to it if he did. “Good.” Then you pulled him in for a kiss, which brought some life back into his body, after having felt numb for the last hour since the game ended.

Since you were still in public and this definitely seemed like a moment you should be having in private, you guys quickly made your way to the garage where his car was parked. Thankfully it had been a home game, so you could spend the night in the comfort of the home that you shared.

“You want me to heat up the leftovers for you?”, you asked Mat when he looked the front door behind him. “No, I’m not hungry”, he replied and carried on into the apartment. That was very unusual for him. He always ate coming home from a game, no matter the time. Understandably though, since he just played hockey for 3 hours.

“Maty.” You quickly followed him, pulling him by the arm to turn him towards you. Wrapping your arms around his neck you pulled him into another hug. “It’s fine, I just want to go to sleep.”

Keeping the embrace, he carried you into the bathroom to get ready for bed. “Anything I can do to cheer you up? Want me to tickle you?” He half smiled looking at you through the mirror as he pulled his toothbrush out of the cup that was sitting on the counter. You grinned back at him, stretching your arms out pretending to tickle him. He quickly swerved out of the way. If there was one thing Mat hated the most, it was being tickled. Although he was only ticklish in certain spots that took you months to find.

“Okay, okay. Brownies, then?” He shook his again. “No, thank you. But maybe … definitely tomorrow.” He pulled his arm around you, kissing the top of your head. Even though he wasn’t touching your skin directly, you could still feel his beard.

“Okay, then can I shave off your beard?” You said so that it sounded like you were joking, but you half prayed that he’d take you up on the offer. “You really hate it that much?”

“No.” But the face you made gave away you were lying just a tiny bit. That made him laugh a little, while still admiring his beard in the mirror. “It’s not that bad.”

“It doesn’t look terrible”, you replied and lifted a hand to touch his face. “But it’s so prickly and it’s uncomfortable to kiss you properly and that’s my favorite thing to do.”

Mat took your hand in his and looked down at you. “So what you’re telling me, is that for the past few weeks you’ve hated kissing me? Why the hell didn’t you say something earlier?!” You hit him slightly with your free hand. “Not hated! It just wasn’t as enjoyable as usually. It’s very hot though. And I know it’s a weird tradition you guys have and I didn’t want to keep you from it. Plus, we didn’t see each other that much with you traveling so much, that I didn’t have to make out with you every day anyway.”

Chuckling, he shook his head. “Thank you, for putting me first in this situation, but baby, if that’s what’s keeping you from making out with me, I’ll shave it off right away. I’ll even wax it off. Because kissing you is also my favorite thing to do, and I want you to enjoy it.”

“Hey, I told you, I managed with you having the beard, and it was fine. But I’m telling you now that you don’t have to have it anymore.” He took a deep breath before speaking again. “So you really want to have it off?”

“You don’t have to do it now. I can give you a few more days.” Your smile let him know that you were just exaggerating and that he shouldn’t feel pressured to do anything about it. “No, let’s do it now. Let’s get it over with. But I’m only doing it if you’re shaving it.”

You held back your excitement when you realized he was actually going to let you do it. But before you could pull away from him to get the razor, his arms wrapped themselves around you, trapping you against him. “So, you really don’t like it what I do this?” His lips found yours for a very delicate kiss. His eyes went dark suddenly, desire sparkling in them. I’m that moment, it was very hard to find a reason to say no, since his lips against yours was the best feeling in the world. When you didn’t answer, he moved on to your cheeks and jawline, half pressing feather-light kisses against your skin, half caressing you with his beard. It felt like a little cactus, but suddenly you didn’t mind that feeling. Closing your eyes and letting your head fall back, you started to enjoy what he was doing.

Mat caught on to you liking it, so he moved down to your neck and back up to your ears, to which a shudder went down your back and between your legs in response. “Still a no?” He mumbled, pulling down his hoodie you were wearing, to get to your chest. Half a moan left your body in response, which made him chuckle. His hands moved the the hem of the hoodie and then he took a step back from you to pull it off of you. He pushed your bra straps to the side, continuing with his kisses along your shoulders and collarbone.

Mat lifted you up by your thighs and placing you on the bathroom counter. He spread your legs to give himself more access to you. Your bra was suddenly on the floor, you hadn’t noticed him taking it off. When he started massaging and kissing your breasts, you arched into him, seeking more of his mouth. So he gave you more, kissing a line down to your belly. A soft moan escaped and your stomach clenched and quivered beneath his mouth. The anticipation of tasting you intimately had him doing his own amount of quivering. The urge Mat felt to spread you wider and plunge into you was overwhelming. But he wanted this to be about you, so he went back to your breasts. Kissing, twisting and grabbing them, until there were definitely was some slight bruising and he knew he’d gotten you wet enough.

Pulling you off the counter, he pulled at your pants and ripped them off along with your panties. He quickly set you back on the counter and got to his knees.

He pressed a kiss to the silky hairs over your pussy and then nuzzled deeper, inhaling your scent as he spread you further. He stroked his fingers through your velvety folds, spreading moisture from your opening up to your clit so his fingers slid more easily and he wouldn't irritate the sensitive flesh.

“Mat!" His name exploded from your mouth. He loved the way you said it. He knew he could make you even crazier with desire just as soon as he got his mouth where his fingers were.

“Well, we’re done here. Since you don’t like the feel of my beard against you, I don’t think eating you out is such a great idea.” He made an effort to stand up, but your hands on his shoulders pushed him back down. You knew he was only teasing you, but after getting you so worked up, you weren’t in the mood for that.

“Oh for God’s sake, Mathew, don’t be such a fucking tease.” He chuckled in response, smirking up at you.

“Admit it, you actually love it.”

“Ok fine. It’s not as bad as I thought”, you gave in. “Now, please.”

Another chuckle escaped him, before he used his fingers to open you to him. He leaned into you, swiping his mouth from your entrance to your clit, your wetness like honey on his tongue. A ragged moan tore from your throat and suddenly your hand was in his hair, fingers clenching over his scalp. He sucked lightly at your clit, exerting just enough pressure to send spasms of pleasure through your legs. Then he licked downward again, wanting more of your silken, hot dampness. His tongue slid inside you, fucking you in slow, sensual stroke. Your eyes were glazed with passion, your lips red and swollen from his kisses.

“You like my mouth, (y/n)?"

"Oh yeah," she breathed. "You're so good with your tongue."

"Mhm. So the beard is still in the way then?," he said with a chuckle.

“Oh my god! I’ve already admitted I was wrong. Just please don’t stop.”

He knew exactly how much you’d hated admitting your were wrong about something so he took your vulnerable state as an advantage. “Ha! I win.”

You moaned again when he slid his tongue back inside your liquid heat, tasting you from the inside out. The stubble of his beard was touching and scratching all of the right spots, adding even more sensation. Deciding to up the tension and get you off with his tongue inside you, he slipped his thumb over your clit, rolling as he continued to lick and suck, acting like his tongue was his dick. You bucking upward at the pressure he exerted with his thumb and you went even softer around his tongue. Hot, sleek, spilling into his mouth. He lapped hungrily, greedy for your orgasm. With his free hand, he inserted one finger, moving his tongue only long enough to reach inside you, stroke the silky walls and then press deep. You clutched at his finger like a greedy fist, holding on when he withdrew and replaced it once again with his tongue.

You were close, bucking your hips. One hand let go of his head, holding on to the edge of the counter to steady you, so you wouldn’t fall off when you reached your high. You let loose a torrent of energy as you quaked around him. Your legs closed against his head, anchoring him in place as he continued to lap hungrily at you. And then a sudden burst of heated honey on his tongue. You rolled her hips and bucked as wave after wave of her orgasm rushed over you.

Mat rose up when he sensed your orgasm had faded to the stage where you were too hypersensitive to his continued ministrations. You fell against him, all energy leaving your body. His hands stroked your back until you recovered enough to straighten up. Smirking he leaned down to kiss you. You could still taste yourself, and while that wasn’t your favorite thing, you were too lazy to pull away.

“So, what’s the final vote? We shaving it off or what?” Mat asked, when he pulled away from you. Accepting defeat, you gave him a little shrug. “It’s fine, you can keep it. I don’t think I mind as much anymore.”

Smiling with victory he did a little happy dance, which made you laugh. Well, at least you were able to cheer him up. “Actually,” he said, looking at himself in the mirror and stroking his beard, “I quit like the idea of you shaving me. Especially naked.”

“Ok, but I can do that in a few days.” “No, now is good.” He opened one of the drawers underneath the countertop to pull out his razor and shaving cream. “Are you sure? I really don’t mind you keeping it for a few more days.”

“No, let’s do it now. This can be the thing you can do to cheer me up.” He filled up the sink with water and then sat on the covered toilet. He tapped his thighs, signaling you to come sit down on him. But before you did so, you pulled out a small towel from another drawer. “Just don’t cut me.”

“Great, no pressure then.” You had never shaved anyone else before, so this was going to be interesting. Spreading some shaving cream on top of his beard, you wet the razor and started shaving one side. It took a while until you got the hand of it, not knowing how much pressure to apply. Along the way, you shaped his beard into multiple different styles, that all looked hilarious on him, making you both laugh a lot. It felt good seeing him so happy after you had seen that look on his face earlier when he stepped out of the locker room.

“Ah! Much better”, you said once you were done. You pressed your lips against his and yes, much softer now. “Baby face Barzy is back.” He chuckled.

Once you guys stood and he had a chance to look at himself, he agreed with you. “Yeah, that does look better.”

“See.” You wrapped your arms around him, pressing your face into his chest.

“Thank you”, he whispered and gave the top of your head a small kiss. You looked up at him, seeing his tired eyes.

“For what?” “Being you. And taking my mind off tonight.” Slowly he let his lips fall to yours.

“I love you.”

“I love you more.”

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