#like it was never weird because i never existed in an online space that had anything to do with it

[strawbnetwork]

ive only ever existed in rpf shipping spaces

thats a little bit crazy to me tbh though in hindsight I have always had friends who were into rpf but just didnt Call it that

[cripplecharacters]

Hi! I am writing/planning a story, and one of the characters has vitiligo, and I was wondering if you had specific things that should be avoided/tropes that are harmful?

I'm trying to show representation and not fetishisation. Also, she's a full-fledged character already (she has a background story, and she has effects on the story)

Thank you a lot for answering so many peoples questions, and have a good day

Hi!

The main trope for vitiligo that anyone who's in any art space online knows is "using vitiligo as an aesthetic". It's not portrayed as anything deeper than that usually, just a cool splotch of color. A "fashion statement" almost.

Personally, I have never seen anyone ever mention vitiligo having a ton of autoimmune comorbidities that IRL ~1 in 4 people with vitiligo have. I guess because vitiligo looks cool but rheumatoid arthritis doesn't? But it could be nice to include. Or how a big portion of people with vitiligo are d/Deaf/HoH. I mentioned some of this stuff in this post as well!

For other things to avoid; the black-and-white animal associations have to go. I have seen too many characters said to have vitiligo also have cow ears or whatever. It's not cute and is rather weird in fact. People get bullied and called names IRL because of those connotations, it's also just plain dehumanizing.

Any "mystical" or "curse" stuff should also be avoided. It's a skin condition, not a magic ritual. It's also not contagious or deadly or anything like that. Don't make up magical reasons or non-existent symptoms; instead try to include how maybe she gets a new vitiligo patch after a period of stress, or that she gets eczema around that spot beforehand. Don't make it so that she was cursed with light magic or something, and now she's slowly withering away for some reason until she gets the magic vitiligo cure and "yay they're normal now!" (real example that I have seen).

This post is about albinism, which is an unrelated disability, but in the writing/art spaces it's in the same "aesthetic fetishization" category, so maybe some ideas from it could be helpful to you?

I hope you're having a good day as well! Thanks for the ask :-)

mod Sasza

[olderthannetfic]

Update on the Bridgerton stuff: the online fandom is so homophobic and horrible, and the mods of stuff like the main subreddit refuse to do anything about it (but will remove comments by people upset about the homophobia for "generalizing") that LGBTQ+ fans have had to make their own spaces. There's a whole separate subreddit that bans homophobia called r/bridgertonlgbt, and of course the ones from the main one keep trying to get it banned with false reports by accusing them of "heterophobia" and "doxxing" (re: complaining about their homophobic comments in their own spaces). Assholes who are mad about them making a straight romance from the books lesbian in the show are also doing petitions and flooding like every Instagram post including one by the original author about how she was initially skeptical about such a big change from her books but she's had lots of talks with the showrunners and she trusts them, and has always supported greater diversity in the series. People keep misusing that stupid fucking George R.R. Martin quote (about how creators these days don't do anything original but just warp other people's existing works) when he himself has condemned "the show must be exactly like the books" fan attitudes, especially the racist tantrums around House of the Dragon casting a couple years ago. And on a post by the author HERSELF where she explains why she gave the go-ahead, supports these changes, and condemns homophobia in the fandom! How is she "warping" her own work???

I've heard about this all secondhand from my friend and it just makes me so glad I don't go on Insta or Reddit and instead keep my fandom activities to Tumblr or AO3. Where for all the drama over other things, at least this kind of rancid homophobia you get in spaces where everyone is cis and straight feels entitled to only ever consume straight and cis romance stories (they'll claim they "are okay with gay characters but new ones!" but their example is always like a side character who has an unhappy ending, can you really not get why queer fans are not satisfied with that?) at least that's not so much a thing here. Instead I'll be happily writing Francesca/Michaela and Benedict/male characters slash and ignoring and blocking the haters. And remembering that that show has way more fans than use social media and everyone involved is continuing to refuse to listen to the loud idiots online. Like everyone I talk to about it who isn't super online, most of whom are straight women, think the change is really cool and can't wait to see what they do with it. Some of them have read the books, but most have not.

But god, it just seems like toxicity from top to bottom over there. I really wish a lot of the straight women fans would just admit they don't like a lesbian romance because there's no one for them to find hot. And maybe consider why it's not a big fucking ask to "find something relatable" in gay romances, like gay people have had to do with straight ones for all time. Why must we continue doing that but you're entitled to whatever you want all the time? It's just so weird to see these attitudes still and in fandom in 2024!

--

These attitudes never went away.

On the fanfic side of things, the slashers just happen to have built the currently-popular platform, so the haters have to deal.

[pawberri]

ok, so i just saw an anti-dni post talking about how having a dni list in bio is purposeless and annoying since it is like a 'holding a sign saying "do not kick me." ' now, i find that perspective objectionable (since obtaining a block list might be what is desired anyways and not all dni reasons have to be extremely polarizing, e.g., i dont think a minors dni will suddenly make a billion minors annoyed, making them interact w/ you immediatly) and i have a slight feeling that you disagree with that point of view too because uhhhhh.

so what i wanted to know was whether you share the same reasons to oppose that perspective, and, if not, then, what are they?

I have been getting really annoyed with the backlash to dnis... I think it's goofy when some person has a dni with a million things, but it feels reactionary to me to say "it makes no sense for you to put your boundaries and expect people to follow them." There's especially this vibe with people who post more extreme content getting mad at dnis. I think that's weird. Partially, people seem to take them as like... a sign of moral superiority or hatred... rather than just a little bit of clarity on boundaries. These people talk about "curating your online space" but have to make these posts ranting about people who do it in a way they dislike. I especially think it's dumb to say, "Just block me, why do I have to not interact with you?" because... I mean, you can't block someone you don't know exists. It's meant to be a preemptive expression of boundaries, so the other party has the chance to block you and / or just not interact.

I know that, in practice, some people have really silly, long dnis that are linked on some weird carrd that takes forever to read. I don't think it's fair to strawman the concept of expressing some of your boundaries online in a digestible format as being stupid because of that, though. Especially when a lot of the people with silly dnis are teenagers just trying to figure their life out. They'll grow out of it. It's fine.

I also think it's weird and victim blame-y to say people will naturally be harassed if they give any kind of indication of their boundaries. I sometimes get mean anons, but for the most part, my experience online is way better because I am upfront about things. I don't get too personal or say things I'm uncomfortable sharing, but I make my boundaries clear. Even when I was a teenager and getting harassed by redditors, I never had stuff I asked to be trigger tagged used against me like people fearmonger about. (I'm sure it can happen, but I think that for most people, it just results in their social circle tagging stuff for them.) Even if that did happen, I think it would cruel to say that it was my fault for daring to express a boundary. If you kick the guy who says "do not kick me", you're still being bully and a contrarian asshole. Even if I didn't express a boundary, people like that would likely harass me. If I don't express a boundary for the sake of avoiding harassment, I get in exchange an audience that will constantly be shocked and fight with me about my beliefs when they show. Then, that creates either an unpredictable level of harassment or the feeling of being harassed because I'm constantly in discourse with my followers. At best I feel miserable and hate interacting with my followers.

I think this partially comes from people who are afraid to express their boundaries for fear of backlash (ie they want to make extreme content but fear saying so will make their followers mad), but honestly I think being straight forward makes your audience more curated. The people I see who post extreme content and are clear about it seem to have an easier time than people who build an audience of a bunch of unsuspecting people and then slowly introduce untagged incest kink or something. Not saying it's a guaranteed anti-harassment tool, but I don't understand the impulse to warn for nothing and have no clear boundaries with your audience, then get mad you curated the audience you curated. I hope it doesn't come across as me victim-blaming in the opposite direction, I don't think anyone deserves harassment regardless of if I disagree with what they post online. I kind of just mean to illustrate a counter example to the idea of the dni-haver making themself a target or inherently Being A Harasser.

[damnfandomproblems]

Response to 5634: Mkay, do not start complaining about something you like being censored because you’re acting indifferent to someone being pro-censorship bully arguing with an anti-censorship and anti-harassment person.

The reason why these arguments are a big deal (and you can just ignore the arguments by blocking if it bugs you that much) is because the arguments antis make is similar to that of puritans, old ignorant people trying to blame video games for school shootings and wanting games like GTA censored or banned, and people that were book burners as one of the commenters pointed out.

Antis actively go into spaces they KNOW they hate with a passion and make callout posts that were designed to harass people, Antis legit made blogs PURELY just to bully someone over dead dove fanfiction, and antis are the most bigoted people, when someone who writes content they don’t like just so happens to be a minority, it quickly is no longer about fictional content they hate, now they gotta be racist towards a POC writer (I’ve seen this happen to a South Asian woman).

Antis have also been the reason why some artists get ran off the internet. I’ve seen it happen to a non-binary artist who was harassed off the internet a pseudo-incest ship. Their Twitter, Tumblr blog, and anything else they had were all wiped from existence, and I will never forgive the people that did that to them.

Antis are also the most insensitive people and insult real life rape victims or people that have had CSEM made of them. Jenna Ortega had CSEM made of her by sick freaks that made explicit AI generated photos of her as a kid. Then idiots made it about weird gross anime porn fetishes and that is how it leads to creeps online making CSEM or prey on real life kids. Read the GODDAMN room.

Speaking of CSEM, antis have defended Netflix’s Cuties, which is actual CSEM in comparison to drawings and fanfiction with underage characters.

Another anti who was ironically an artist also responded to a CSA survivor saying, “do not equate my pain and suffering to anime drawings” in the most insulting way imaginable with an eye roll gif.

There has also been cases where antis were caught being a creep towards children. One minute an anti is calling people “pedophiles” over fiction, next thing you know, they got caught sexting a minor, they have actual convictions and are on the sex offender registry, they accepted minors into their 18+ space, or literally anything else that involves endangering minors. Which is why I’m bracing myself for a similar incident in the JJK fandom with all the puritans running around invading tags like an obnoxious person.

I could go on, but this is already long enough as it is. Now, the next time you wanna play that Peter Griffin clip on full blast saying, “who the hell cares,” think about everything I said here.

Posting as a response to a previous problem.

[mrs-monaghan]

omg all these ppl sharing tehir friends being tkkr/ynmnr remind me this bitch from my university dorm! you know we were dorm mates w this one girl. starting from fist day of semester I had this weird feeling about her (not related to her being a tkkr but her whole vibe was off) while talking about interests and hobbies we kinda realized we have similar tastes in certain things.

she told me that she’s into bts and we started talking about them. everything was fine until out of nowhere she told me that she believes that tkkr are a couple and I feel like she was trying to fish an answer out of me ykno about tkk dating. she was kinda trying to test me if that makes sense. after that I told her that I’m a hard core jm stan and that why I’m leaning more towards duos that include jm and I’m not kidding you shaz her whole demeanor changed and the look she gave me was just horrendous. and I didn’t even told her tkk couldn’t be real because jk and jm are literally dating but change was drastic!

after that she keep giving me cold feet and randomly showing “cute tkk art” which was humanloure or whatever that btchs name and when I told her to stop showing me weird things she became super defensive (I wasn’t try to be an asshole it was just getting weird the way she was trying to prove me tkkr is real by showing ugly ass fanarts ) when I told her about my discomfort she would say things like “but they are cute” “they look so good together” “anyways they are dating”

when she kept doing this I totally stopped talking to her and just ignored her ass that whole semester. we weren’t best friends or anything just dorm mates. i just wanted to share this because before all of this happened to me I just thought that there’s no way a irl tkkr would act the way they are acting in online spaces but those weirdos we saw on report pages are literally exist irl

Of course they do. I like to think online personalities are an extension of RL personalities. So of course this is how they are out there too!!

This is my Facebook cover photo, right?

A friend of mine from the Gallavich (shameless) fandom saw this and she was so excited! But at the time of seeing my cover photo she also noticed I kept sharing JK in my stories (dreamers had just dropped) and so she didn't know if I was gonna turn out to be vermin. So it took her months... months! To even DM me. She didn't do it until she saw me in the comment section of Jikook public group.

I asked her why she never told me sooner that she was Army and she told me that she didn't want to ruin our friendship. So it was better for her not to know. And you know what? That made sense to me. I was like, fair enough.

I mentioned before that my baby got attached to shot glass of tears, right? It was the only song that could get her to sleep. So one time I'm just pushing the pram around a shop and the cashier comes up to me like "is that JK?" And of course we started to gush. She told me that she was Taegi biased and immediately I went "are you a Taekooker?" You know, I didn't want to waste time. I needed to know quite early on. She told me she almost became one due to the edits on YouTube and that it was the reason she stepped away from the fandom. That's why she didn't even know about SGOT or GOLDEN. Coz she left when she saw she was starting to become one of them 😂

I commended her for it and currently we are friends. Her self awareness saved her basically 😂 So yes, anon. The way they are online is the way they are in person. That's why I always say a Vminkook concert wouldn't be the best idea 🤭🤭🤭

[fordtato]

Gffan has done the following:

-Letting people comment transphobic stuff on his Server

-associating with a reddit mod whos known to be transphobic

-openly showing weird distaste for the Dipper being Trans headcanon (didn't he also say: "I hate the Dipper Trans Theory" to us once?)

He also believes there’s only 2 genders

Hello. So. I do not normally respond to anonymous discourse like this in my inbox as a rule (especially given this site's proclivity for seeing anon callouts weaponized against trans people and women and people of color), but I felt it was important to do this in this case, since I am publicly working on a project with ThatGFFan.

I have known GFFan for over a year now now (in an exclusively online capacity), and in that time, he has not only never misgendered me (a nonbinary trans person, someone outside the "2 genders" framework) but has also actively corrected people who have misgendered me. I have witnessed him speak against transphobia in the fandom and against transphobic content creators. The idea that he "believes there are only 2 genders" is inaccurate by every account I have of him.

As for other accusations in this ask, such as him "associating with a reddit mod who is known to be transphobic" I don't have any evidence for this presented to me, and even if I did, association in a public online space is not the same thing as sharing transphobic sentiment. There is room in any online space for a conversation about the optics of this kind of engagement, but if I had to apologize for every person I've ever engaged with civilly who I later learned was problematic in some way, I'd be here all day, and that would be an unproductive use of my time, and would not undo any harm done by that person.

Lastly, I hope ThatGFFan will not mind me saying this, but he is a young person (younger than you think, I assure you). If he has engaged with unsavory people in the past, or has indicated any kind of transphobic sentiment (neither of which I have any evidence of) it is my belief that we need to allow people to grow, especially when I have actively witnessed that growth firsthand. And in that case, I do think (and maybe I'm putting my faith in the wrong person here, so I hope this doesn't bite me one day), that he has made an active effort to learn how to do better, even if he makes mistakes in that process.

What you have done, anon, is entered my inbox with accusations against a person of color, half of which have no evidence behind them, and the other half that I personally know to be demonstrably false. Nobody who is a victim of this transphobia has come forward, at least that I saw, and if they did, that would be up to ThatGFFan to respond to - not me, a trans person unrelated and far-removed from whatever incident you are talking about (an incident that likely occurred when ThatGFFan was a minor, in any case).

I don't have a big platform. I am a small creator (much smaller than ThatGFFan), and a trans Palestinian person. Why am I being called upon to answer for a cis person's (alleged) missteps as they grow into an adult? Why am I being called upon to publicly shame and renounce a person who has shown me kindness and allyship? Is it so I can prove my dedication to the fight against transphobia? My entire blog, my entire body of work, my entire existence, has been an active fight against transphobia.

I mean, by God, all I can do is hope I'm doing the right thing here, but I vouch for him. Or I at least vouch that he is trying.

(p.s. I hope this goes without saying, but someone disliking a specific queer headcannon does not indicate one's political beliefs, and this is not going to be an accusation that I really engage with, because it sets a bad precedent. This is not a moral wrongdoing. This is an opinion you are suspicious of.)

[thevampirearchive]

I blog for the black girls who want to learn multiple languages, but after a consistant 15 days or so of portoguese, we just fall off and somehow still wonder why we arent fluent in Mandarin, Zulu, Spanish, Japanese, Portogese, Lingala, Greek or Twi.

I blog for the black girls who use sims as a form of therapy, whether it is building for therapeutic properties, making our sims live perfect lives as chef-interiordesigner-leader of the free world-scientic-doctor influencer or simply placing characters in the pool with no ladder. I blog for the black girls who

I blog for the black girls who were super into anime, and forwhatever reason (shame, bullying, internalized misoganoir, lonliness or life being too stressfull) stopped wacthing it, but as life calmed down and we started to find ourselves again, we started to return back to shows and movies we've missed or never finished. Shoutout to Megan!

I blog for the black girls who are on one hand super artistic, expressive and multifacited - and somehow still find ourselves overwhelmed, stressed and feeling uncapable when starting new projects, wanting to finish projects or simply existing in a world where our 101% may still not cut it. I am always rooting for us, at our best, mediocer or even worst! Because we too deserve to be humanized, not just celebrated when we've reached hights so great nobody can ignore us (even though some try to)

I blog for the black girls who love Lana Del Rey

I blog for the black girls who are super into hermatic teaching, esoteric's, spirituality and such, and sometimes don't have community to truly talk about these things outside of maybe a few selct spaces.

I blog for the black girls who watch horror movies alone, still love watching Scooby Doo and will also watch Baddies West or Married to Medicin when the urge kicks in.

I blog for the black girls who still are on Tumblr, tweet and enjoy our own company alone in our rooms. We aren't actual loners, just realized this is a better way for us then others. We have friends, few, and are learning to come to terms with the fact that quality is better then quantity, even if that means being alone for a season or two till we find our people (online or offline)

I blog for the black girls who are trying to heal from their motherwounds, relations with black woman and their own black feminity because the world tried so hard to teach us to hate it and eachother.

I blog for the black girls who don't feel like we were understood, always surrounded by people who were like us but didnt look like us (which came with it's own set of challanges and psycological damage). But as time goes by, we learn that there are more of us.

I blog for the black girls who were told they were weird, agressive, not ptetty enough, while also being sexualized, hypermasculanized and tone-policed. Our versitility confused people, and it is first now as adult we realize that isn't our problem lol. Keep up or piss off.

I blog for the black girls who make powerpoint slides for nobody, lol, just organizing life, putting together visual moodboards of dreams, goals and ideas.

I blog for the black girls who wish to become so many things yet are paralized by choice. Even with 10 degrees, we know itll still be an uphill battle to get to where we wanna be, even if we do deserve it and are the best for said roles. So pls, get that PHD, MD, and whatever else your heart desires, the world will hate it and push regardless, might as well be happy.

I blog for the black girls who don't think therapy would work for us, because as much as it has evolved throughout time, we do not truly belive that our complex identities and who we are as individuals can be understood by others but ourseves (especially if we have had astranged fathers, grew up in PWI, dark skinned, eldest daughter or only daughter)

I blog for the black girls who were overachivers, super smart, creative and articulate!

I blog for the black girls who are Twilight stans, #TeamEdward

I blog for the black girls who loved supernatural shows, medieval shows and movies! Even when there were little to no black representation!

I blog for the black girls who makes everybody black in our minds when reaidng, because why not (unless specifically said to be POC, they black lol)

I blog for the black girls who are shy, but are lowkey ambiverts but have realized being their versitiled full ranged-of-emotions-having (aka human) means they'll be expected to always perform, be happy and there will be no room for the "I am just existing, not mad, not upset, this is just my face when I am chilling". So to avoid having to explain that we too are human, we just say little and keep it pushing. Sigh I see us!

I blog for the black girls who have absent fathers but it's okay because those fathers lowkey suck so it's probably for the best.

I blog for the black girls who are aspiring authors!

I blog for the black girls who talk to themselves, outloud, laugh and dance alone in their bedroom - YES, GIVE THAT CROWED THE BEST CONCERT EXPERIENCE!

I blog for the black girls who's first anime was DBZ so now we have infinite patience for most plots (probably not One Piece tho lol)

I blog for the black girls who cannot go to sleep without a full cup of water knowing theyll need to pee in the middle of the night!

I blog for the black girls who have anemia. pls take your time queen, don't rush that getting up!

I blog for the black girls who love studio ghibli! And have been in love with Howl since a very very very very very young age. Wow, can't believ we are sister-wives. Love yall.

LOVE A BLACK WOMAN FROM INFINITY TO INFINITY

[kafus]

sometimes i think about how part of the reason i put off seeking out a DID therapist for so long is bc my alters are very fictional introject heavy (almost don’t have any that aren’t) and at least at the time there was a prevailing online notion that if you had a lot of alters that were introjects, especially if any of them came from “recent sources”, you were Definitely Faking. i just assumed i had to have something else going on and i avoided medical care for a long time.

i’ve seen that sentiment a lot less lately and i can’t tell if that’s because it’s actually gone down in prevalence or if it’s because i just do not hang out around DID oriented spaces much anymore, but it’s weird looking back on it literally over 4 years into DID therapy and diagnosis. to think i was ever worried about something like that and was so swept up in the social part of being a pwDID online. i don’t blame myself but that just really sucked. especially because it just does not hold weight, obviously i exist and i am diagnosed and my therapist herself has noted that her younger DID patients skew on having more “fictives” than her older ones and she acknowledges this as a real phenomenon instead of like… The Rise Of Faking or something. and we’ve had in depth talks about my situation and why i in particular am like this bc yknow. it’s relevant to myself and my recovery

i think a lot about last year when i was struggling a lot with a couple of pokemon alters who could not speak english but obviously were holding onto some trauma that needed to be attended to since they were causing issues in daily life, and i brought up my inability to communicate with them properly to my therapist, and she suggested that if any of the pokemon trainer alters are able to communicate with them, maybe use them as a translator of sorts? and i was just dumbfounded because not only is my therapist like, Not a pokemon fan and everything she knows about it is through me so i was impressed she thought of this, there was also a time i assumed both thru my trauma w the medical system and the system culture online that this was a conversation i would never possibly have in a medical setting. my introjection was silly, not something to be taken seriously, “faking”. but here was my therapist recommending this completely seriously to me and guess what: it worked! her suggestion fucking worked and solved a problem tormenting me for like a week

i’m kinda just rambling at this point but the notion that introject heavy systems aren’t real is a whole lot of bullshit and the fact that i put off getting mental health care for so long is also bullshit. there’s a whole lot of individuality per system that is not going to be thoroughly documented in the literature. kids are being raised in a different, fiction heavy environment these days, and if there’s an upwards trend of introject heavy systems i would not be surprised, and i think maybe that should be studied sometime. i really wish that the gatekeeping of uneducated randoms on the internet did not keep me from medical help for so long bc therapy changed my life

[genderkoolaid]

Honestly, there’s something that I’m struggling with, I’m like salmacian, and I have bottom dysphoria, that’s like really really really bad, and I’m planning on getting bottom surgery, but honestly, I kinda don’t know how I’m gonna deal with the whole isolation aspect of it all. Cause like, the queer community HATES us bro, so while I love the idea of finally feeling free in my body it sucks because it makes me feel like I have to choose between my life and my community; my bottom dysphoria has been making me wanna kms, I mean like literally curl up in a ball and drop dead, and then you see people on Twitter and shit saying “if you feel dysphoria in this way you *SHOULD* kill yourself” and that’s really challenging for me, I can’t really go to irl queer spaces or transition right now (toxic family situation) but it’s crazy for all these queer spaces to be about “being your true self” just “NOT LIKE THAT” I hope IRL queer spaces will be better, but like I can’t just die because other queer people don’t like my dysphoria, but it’s also kinda hard to find others like me.

Like, what do I even do here?? Do I just pretend I’m cis? Do I publicly ID as nonbinary and pretend I’ve never had bottom surgery, do I pretend I’m like binary transmasc, and also like, in this vein, I think it’s funny (horrible) how nonbinary people literally get hate no matter what we do, we don’t transition? Then we’re bad cringy transtrenders and the reason cis people hate trans people, we transition? We’re evil incarnate, we just can’t win lmaooo. 💀

First of all, I’d recommend distancing yourself from spaces that promote anti-salmacian bigotry and trying to engage yourself in online pro-salmacian spaces as much as possible. Do whatever you have to in order to disconnect from the people who hock the idea that salmacians are bad or salmacian transitions are somehow immoral. If you haven’t checked out r/salmacian, I would highly suggest it– its the biggest (and really, only) community of salmacians I’m aware of and it can be really refreshing to be in a space entirely centered around us and our desires and needs. Connecting with other salmacians can be so healing, especially getting to see people who have physically transitioned and reminding yourself that it is possible to have that body and be happy. It also reminds you that there are so many of us out there– pretty much everytime I talk about being salmacian on here, I see new people who have never realized that “its a thing” and there’s a word for it. It is so much more normal to be salmacian than bigots will make it seem. 

This post on the subreddit talks about dating as salmacians, and the consensus seems to be that the trans dating scene seems to be pretty accepting of salmacians– obviously that’s not going to be the case everywhere, but weird queers have existed since time immemorial. When you are surrounded by (especially online) regressive bigots, it really warps your view of reality and makes it hard to truly believe that that isn’t the universal standard. Its near impossible to thrive when you are in the situation, which is why its so vital to surround yourself with proof that that isn’t the standard. I promise you that you will be able to find a community that will find the idea that your dysphoria is “evil” to be fucking ridiculous and support your salmacian identity– you might even find other salmacians, or help other people realize its an achievable option! 

I strongly agree with how nonbinary people get treated re: transitioning. Obviously binary people are not overall treated better but it really does suck there’s no way to be nonbinary that doesn’t involve hate– either you don’t transition (or don’t “really”/”fully” transition) and get seen as a transtrender who doesn’t know what its REALLY like, or you have a “weird” transition and get treated like a weird fetish-chaser or a TLC short and not, like, a person who just wants to control their own body. Tbh I would love to see more nonbinary/genderqueer-centered community stuff, along with more discussion of exorsexism that isn’t just “diet transmisogyny/transandrophobia” or “general transphobia.” Ik a lot of post-bottom surgery trans people feel disconnected from the trans community, and I myself have thought about how I’m going to go about… engaging with others and identifying myself post-op. Honestly I would love a salmacian4salmacian relationship but idk if that will ever be in the cards!

& when it comes to salmacians & exorsexism there’s so much stereotyping us as horny freaks (which is a bad thing apparently!) whose dysphoria/euphoria is Evil and Twisted and like… 1. thats just Transmisogyny 2: Electric Boogaloo 2. as if its our fault that 99% of salmacian rep is in fetish porn, so there are so many of us whose only exposure to the concept of being salmacian is through that lens. Or as if its inherently evil to feel sexually satisified with a body that brings you joy? (also this doesn’t even get into the way that so much discussion around transness is not prepared for altersex transitions & the reality of nonbinary people who are physically androgynous and how no, you can’t just slap binary theory onto our bodies and assume its going to cover our experiences, which is why while I would not call myself intersex I do feel a strong sense of solidarity with intersex people bc of the shared “stop assuming your forced rebinarization of myself and my body is okay or coherent”… but anyways!)

I’d love to see a stronger salmacian community, and know that you (or anyone else!) can send me asks about being salmacian, whether to learn more or for advice or just to share experiences/vent and I will be overjoyed to respond. I love talking about being salmacian and helping other people learn about it.

[martinshep]

Going by only what I've come across online myself, in comments and forums, and in direct conversation, therians will say therianthropy is not at all correlated with being trans or with being lgbtq as a whole. I've not really understood why that's the case. My own experience has always felt very transgender. Even that I'm uncertain of as I haven't (and don't plan to) socially transition, so I can't properly compare the two, I don't even know what it feels like to be (have?) a gender. Maybe it's just not been explained to me in the right way, maybe my experience is unique, I'm trying to find out.

Therians, trans people, both, please tell me about your own experiences with that if you feel comfortable doing so. Especially if you're both please tell me how they're different for you, or how they're similar for you! I'm trying to figure this out for myself so if you're not comfortable sharing your experiences please reblog so I can hear from more people.

For context on my own experience:

I recognised having dysphoria over being human not long after becoming interested in furry culture. I had heard of otherkin before but assumed that because I didn't want to be fully animal I didn't count, and also because I thought I only wanted to be an anthro, and not that I am an anthro. Currently my belief is that the true self exists in the ideal self, and so wanting to be an anthro means I am one. Because I didn't feel like I was therian, or know much about it to begin with, I didn't look into therian and otherkin spaces. When I got these dysphoric feelings I kept them to myself for the most part as I felt like I was weird and strange, only talking about it to my trans partner (at the time), and she had never heard of otherkins or therians, and so related it to her own trans experience. From her I then figured my dysphoria is similar to gender dysphoria. I even have a trans sister and so learnt plenty about what it means to be trans from my mum telling us both about it.

A year or two later my cis parter convinced me that I do count as otherkin/therian, and only then did I look into those communities. I assumed others would have the same feelings I did that it's like gender dysphoria but haven't yet come across a single otherkin/therian saying that their otherkinity/therianthropy feels similar to being trans/lgbtq. I didn't say or ask anything because I was (and still am) quite socially anxious.

I'm currently sick with something and it's given me time to think and reflect, and introspection doesn't seem to be giving me any answers. Describe your own experiences, say why you think they are similar or not, I just want to hear what people think so I can come to a conclusion on myself.

[fictionfreedom]

Gonna just ramble/rant what I'm thinking of. Tw cw for discussing more harmful things. Suicide, vague mentions of crimes, stuff like that. Grooming and predatory behaviors. Mention of harmful paraphilias.

The saying that antis use that is "fiction affects reality" is technically true. But not in the way they use it.

Most people that DO use media to hurt others OR ended up committing crimes in the name of whatever fiction they like. It's not that media's fault for it. There's been plenty of times someone has killed themselves because of a fictional character. And even I have been there too.

And then for like art or something being used to groom as a reason it shouldn't be available. Predators are gonna use anything they can to groom. Doesn't matter what it is. A lot of porn is used to groom children. Dolls are used to groom children too. And porn is something that already exists in only online spaces.

There is no way to protect every single thing from happening. If someone misuses the media for such things, that is not the fault of a creator for making it. People shipping fucked up things or drawing weird art is not the reason people are being groomed. Because of course the creators of such things NEVER intend for it to be used like that. And it is not their fault if it is used like that. There's plenty of adult only media that's more mainstream/normal that gets used to groomed people too.

Fiction DOES have some effect on reality. I can't deny that because I am someone that is sensitive to it. But it is not in the way antis use it. It's often very individual based. And a lot of people that use media to commit crimes or whatever were already at risk of it. Because a lot of the time they have issues already and often don't have good support systems. It's not because of the media they consumed putting ideas in their head. It's not because they had access to stuff.

Also antis will say it's gross to make art of that. But actually when it comes to harmful to act upon philias like pedophilia fictional outlets are recommended by professionals. A good support system, fictional outlets, and not being treated as a monster actually lowers the risk of offending if someone were at risk of it. :/ Like. That's actually what professionals say helps someone that is at risk of offending.

No matter how you look at it, antis are contributing to harm rather than protecting from it. And if they didn't want to see it especially if it's triggering then...block the people, block the tags or key words. There's solutions for it.

A lot of the time these people stick to their own niches. The fact it "breaks containment" isn't their fault at all. And if their art is used to harm others, they never meant for that to happen.

Just because media is used in support of crimes or whatever is not the fault of the media or its creators. It's a very nuanced discussion. And while fiction CAN affect reality, it is often up to the individual or those around them to help. They're using the exact arguments parent groups used for video games.

People always and always will make fucked up content. Some people may use it for bad things. But that is no reason it shouldn't exist. Censorship is NEVER okay. And even as someone that HAS been affected by media in negative ways, it becomes up to you to handle it. Or if the person has good supports then they help too. I often don't stop myself so my girlfriend has to literally make sure I don't consume things that'll affect me.

And even then, a lot of the time people are affected by it is because they weren't receiving help or they're mentally ill. It's far more complicated than just "this piece of fiction caused this to happen!!!" as antis usually say.

Others can probably say this way better than I could. But like. I tried. I'm semiverbal and struggle with disorganized speech so. I tried my best. I just had these thoughts and needed to get them out of my head.

!!!

Also just a vague add on is the reason that antis are so pushy that all "dark" fiction is bad is because they mainly just hate sex. Nothing to it but the fact that they've been effectively taught, whether by themself or others, that sex is a bad and evil thing that can only ever cause harm unless it's monitored severely closely.

[trihallow746]

Gonna post this “essay” thing that I wrote for college related stuff that never ended up going anywhere. At least now it’ll have some kind of use lmao

If it seems bad or weird in some places that’s because I rushed it, sorry

Tony Domenico’s web-series, “Petscop,” has allowed me to view individual perspectives through a more introspective lens and has changed the way I interact with creative media.

“Petscop'' is a series housed on YouTube which revolves around a faceless character named Paul exploring the contents of an old game he discovered in his home. The game itself is not real, but through Paul’s realistic reactions and mannerisms a level of believability is created, making the events portrayed in the series all the more potent. Through the use of symbolism and subtlety provided by the game’s intractability, Petscop tells the story of a complex family with themes regarding emotional and physical abuse, trauma, and mental illness.

The subtlety with which “Petscop” portrays its narrative has led to a good deal of confusion within analytical spaces. Several different interpretations of the work have been created and shared online, with some focusing on a supernatural portrayal of events, while others believe the narrative to be entirely human. Domenico has encouraged viewers of Petscop to create their own interpretations of the narrative on several occasions and has made it clear that he believes that community interpretations far outclass any of his own original intentions.

For me, this approach to art was partially confusing at first. Through traditional schooling, I had been taught that there was only ever one correct answer to be found in this type of scenario. Author’s intent is typically strict and unyielding. While differing interpretations from the established understanding can occasionally be defended from an academic standpoint, in most situations, only one interpretation is treated as being the correct one.

However, it was through Domenico’s authorial intent that he established the importance of perspectives other than his own. This includes the perspectives of even his own characters, with him specifically denoting the in-universe creator of Petscop, Rainer, as a designer who’s authorial intent should be the focus of analysis, rather than his own.

The importance of perspective to the work of “Petscop” does not end in-universe, however. Through each and every individual interpretation of “Petscop”, parts of its creator can be seen. Their idea of what makes a compelling narrative can be seen, their own identities can be seen reflected in the characters they care so much about, and this was Tony Domenico’s purpose. His inspiration for the series, “Stop Drawing Dead Fish”, compelled him to focus on the computer's ability to make art seem “alive”, and through Petscop’s subtlety I believe he achieved this. Even after its completion in 2019, “Petscop” has not stagnated like other works of its kind, with new perspectives and interpretations being shared all the time.

“Petscop” has allowed me to come to understand that both art and reality do not deal in absolutes. The interpretations of “Petscop” created by enthusiasts of the series are not steeped in either absolute truth or absolute falsehood, but are still allowed to exist and coexist with each other. The same could be said for perspectives relating to real world concerns and ideals. Many differing perspectives exist that I may not even be remotely aware of, or that I may not even understand, but that doesn’t make them wrong or right. The world is gray, not black and white, just as is the world depicted in “Petscop.”

[whumpfish]

I'm really gonna need people to let me, a person with chronic pain, write about that pain and label it what it is (chronic pain) without jumping my ass telling me it's "your" tag for "your" community.

It's my community, too. I'm allowed to write about it.

This hostility to the just the idea of fiction being anywhere near chronic pain spaces is so self-destructive and just perpetuates already painful isolation. I would have loved to find Word of Honor posts tagged "chronic pain," it would have led me to the series (whose main character has chronic pain! finally, rep that isn't some asshole doctor with a show about what an asshole he is) a lot sooner.

Here's the thing about this blog and the reference posts I make:

Whump saved my life.

This is not an exaggeration. It was the only place I could talk about pain where it would be not only not taboo, but appreciated. When my ME/CFS hit critical mass, I was more alone and powerless than I'd ever been in my life. I had lost my job, my "friends," my apartment, my independence, my health. Everything. I was devastated. I couldn't even write anymore. Everything was pain. That was the lens I now had to view life through, and in the able world, talking about pain is impolite and burdensome to others. So my existence became impolite and burdensome to others.

But then I found the whump community. I could write about pain and it wasn't weird. People didn't leave when I talked about pain, they were interested. They had questions. They wanted to improve their understanding of it. They wanted to improve how they represented it in their own writing. So I started making reference posts.

Now my pain was useful. It was positive. It connected me to others instead of cutting me off from them. Not all of these others have chronic pain or even disabilities, but I refuse to push away people just because they aren't like me. I literally have to live in a world where I'm on the receiving end of that every day, why would I continue it online?

If all my posts about chronic pain are meant only for those who also have it, what good have I done? We all know what pain is like. We all agree it's isolating, we agree isolation feels terrible, so why defend that isolation with both barrels?

Why attack anyone who unites real experiences with better fictional representation of those experiences and assume the person talking is an abled idiot who's in it for the "blorbos?" (I hate that word, by the way. Am I allowed back into my own community yet?) That's what's insulting. The idea that writing about my pain and allowing for the possibility that others might connect to me through both their writing and mine makes me no different from an abled person who's never felt a moment of pain in her life.

I have a chronic illness. I have chronic pain. I write about both. And I don't owe you an explanation.

Block me if you don't like it. But don't jump my ass about "your" community like it's not mine, too. Don't jump my ass about "the" community/tag as if writing about it means I have to turn in my disabled badge.

[dead-loch]

I used to spend hours online speaking to friends.

Through middle school, and high school, and my first job, my first apartment, the entire decade of my twenties, I’ve always struggled with relating to people around me and was thankful I’d found some people online who I could be open with (because writing was easier than talking).

Online I was openly trans and openly weird and learned so much being exposed to these spaces.

And now I feel like I’m the left behind.

Having zero interest in romantic relationships, I’ve felt left behind over and over and over again. Not a single one of my friends in real life values friendships as much as I do. They have other things to value, primarily their partners and now their children.

Being the odd one out, I’ve always been the person who is desperately trying to keep friend groups together, to start the conversations, to make the invites, etc. To make sure people don’t just… leave me behind.

I was used to doing this with people I knew in ‘real’ life. I wasn’t used to doing it with my friends online.

But shit changes.

I feel like since covid, because I was struggling and finally wasn’t making the first effort to reach out, I’ve lost any kind of community I could have ever had. I stopped trying and because I’d been the only one trying for so long, things fell apart. And now it feels like the distance between me and everyone else just gets bigger and bigger and bigger.

And honestly, I feel… betrayed. Like I’m never enough for anyone else to fight for. Why is it that the second I’m unable to try, it’s not a hint for the people who supposedly care about me to try harder?

I feel awkward trying to insert myself into groups and communities that already exist (I want to reply and comment so often and stop myself), and to be completely honest, I find that I just don’t feel much in common with most people anyway. Some of it is silly, like I just don’t enjoy memes so there’s a whole way people communicate that I don’t participate in. Some of it is more important, and the way a lot of people speak in online spaces just makes me feel completely isolated and alienated. A lot of it I recognise from myself when I was younger, so it’s not like I can fault anyone for it.

Idk what this post is other than just getting this shit off my chest. At this point the only future I see for myself is so fucking lonely it makes it hard to breathe just thinking about it.

[insufferableprotagonistpoll]

Round 2

Propaganda why Kirito is insufferable:

He’s Kirito

Absolute nothing of a protagonist. Just plain annoying and unlike most shounens there never seems to be any challenge for him. He's just always the best at everything.

“Yeah, i was a beta tester. Yeah im better than you. This is something that is normal to assume because of the first fact” theres more but that shit is so wild to me it instantly made me hate his ass

Propaganda why Alex Eagleston is insufferable:

literally causes the end of the world by being The Absolute Worst and has done so multiple times including his alternate selves. he technically has three (and a half) love interests (cause theyre the only characters he can/attempt to kiss or express any attraction to) and he treats them all poorly first three vella sammy and essentia 2000 are cause hes a misogynist but they all get different flavors of it sammy gets fridged for the plot of the game and is basically never relevant again outside of a secret(?) ending. shes also based off of a real life dead person for no fucking reason. vella is subjected to weird speculation about her age in her introduction scene with alex saying something along the lines of she cant be older than him cause shes too pretty (alex is like 24 and vella 27 from what i recall its been a few years since ive thought about yiik) and has a weird internal monologue about his feminist ex girlfriend prompted by vella just existing. theres a weird scene when alex asks her if shes korean n says she looks vaguely ethnic making her uncomfortable. One Of His Alternate Selves Literally Caused Her To Leave Her Home Dimension Cause Of How Poorly He Treated Her and the context behind that is that to leave the world/timeline/dimension/whatever you're originally from you basically have to be super suicidal and he pushed her to that point by ghosting her for a while and next time vella saw him he was hooking up with a girl noticably younger than her (<- remember this) and immediately after being told this he can attempt to kiss her which has no actual repercussions. essentia 2000 is like technically supposed to be evil i guess but her goal is supposed to be killing alex so i cant fault her on that. the in game day after they first meet alex has like a monologue about how special and attractive she is ""she was like water filling all my cracks"" or some shit. all three girls are alternates of eachother and are on a sliding scale of how objectified they are by alex with who got it the worst depending on which aspect you're focusing on. other sort of love interest is rory (diversity loss!) who alex can attempt to kiss after he confides in him about something when rory is like 18-19 (hes meant to be about the same age as michael whos recently graduated high school) and depending on how alex treats him can literally kill himself and alex's reaction to learning this is to only focus on how terrible he feels before moving on n rory's death never being mentioned again. the whole point of the game is that alex is a piece of shit who cant even buy groceries for his mom without throwing a hissy fit about it but it undermines itself constantly by having characters forgive or just stop being mad at alex on a dime after hes been exceedingly shitty towards them in various ways and any sort of charm or endearing traits he had quickly wearing off due to him never shutting the fuck up. near the end of the game all the other party members are killed off in quick succession leaving alex by himself and all he can do is sulk in self pity before going on a space adventure or whatever to stop an alternate him thats linked to an alternate essentia and enlisting the player as a different alternate him to help fight various superficial flaws of himself (which arent even like the actual things that make him insufferable n a bad person) n then finish the job for him. i need to punt him into the sun

He constantly goes on annoying monologues about things that nobody cares about. In game he is meant to be kind of an asshole, but they never give him the necessary character development to make him feel like a proper flawed protagonist, yet the narrative makes him out to be a character who is ""deep down a good guy"". Also he doesn't seem to care about any of his friends/party members.

"""YIIK"" is a poorly written, irony-poisoned RPG using a real life actual unsolved murder as the basis for an inciting event, altered so that what happened to the victim was some ~scary supernatural stuff~ and also Alex was there being vaguely misogynistic the whole time and monologuing to no-one in a way no real human person thinks uncritically.

The game intends to paint Alex as a bad person, but this is implemented in such a snide and uninteresting manner which has nothing to actually say about him being this way, nor is it at all fun or entertaining to experience.

He has no idea what's going on, blindly following the plot with the vague motivation of being suddenly stricken with affection for a girl he basically called a freak as soon as he met her five minutes ago. He is self-absorbed, lazy and overconfident, constantly bemoaning and ignoring the needs and feelings of others. He is the only character given enough breathing space to have something to him, and yet manages to not even feel any sort of dimensional.

Also his shirt is an ad for the dev's last game.

An incel who always screams about everything and yet is overly pretentious about everything.ing manner which has nothing to actually say about him being this way, nor is it at all fun or entertaining to experience.