#like its just any normal fact that everyone knows | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ghostatas · 11 months

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I know it's unlikely but now that Fit knows that Bbh is a demon I want them to interact and Fit just causually drops (one of) Bads biggest secrets to his face like.

Fit: Well, since you're a demon and all, can't you just, I don't know, whip up some black magic or something to get the job done?

Bad (slow head-turning towards Fit, voice low): ...Since I'm a what?

*few seconds of silence where they just stare at eachother*

Fit: OH! So I'm not supposed to know that, gotcha! Wait, rollback, rollback quickly? So, since your rich and super stacked and all, can't you just, I don't know, whip up something real quick to get the job done?

Bad (back to his usual, higher pitches jovial voice): Oh yeah, totally! Lemme just look in my backpack here, gimme a second...

#hes totally trynna figure out how fit knows #and kinda panixked about it #but fits just SUPPERRRRR chill about about it #like its just any normal fact that everyone knows #(not like its obvious or anything)#i needs more interactions between these two PLEASE #qsmp #qsmp fit #qsmp fitmc #qsmp bbh #qsmp badboyhalo

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bloominglegumes · 4 months

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i love normal guys doomed by the narrative

#either that or hilariously dysfunctional or both #tf one #orion pax #d 16 #megop #megatron #optimus prime #my art #saw one post pointing out in the trailer that a like5 frame shot of megatrons cannon that was snuck between their mahoushoujo type transfor #mations and like.messed up deeply messed up u see how goofy best friends orion and megsy are theyre just silly guys but in every telling of #their story they always end up enemies ok like in a meta multiverse hopping way think about it.like oh my god prewar tfp megop was already j #juicy and earthspark divorced-remarried megop is like.RGHFH tf one is going to destroy me bc this is what they had Before do u get me #before the war before they fell apart before friends became enemies and hands were stained before the beginning of the end im so so normal #like ok.this silly tight goofy buddy dynamic thats shown in tf one so far is.is what they had before. its what they could have kept if only #if only things turned out differently. but in every world optimus prime and megatron end up leading opposite sides of the bloodiest war ever #ok.its a universal fact and everyone who knows any transformers knows this BUT THE CHARACTERS DONT THEYRE POWERLESS TO PREVENT IT #ill clean up these tags in the morning but like im so.so normal about fictional robot guys #anyway i was intending to draw a background for this but i got lazy and also spent too long on the hands!!!!so whatever

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fabdante · 1 month

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Use this picrew and post the last song you listened to on Spotify

tagged by the lovely @robinainthood (thank u ily)

im listing two songs because my phone and my laptop differ

last spotify song listened to on my phone: a pirates life for me by we cut corners

last spotify song listened to on my laptop: sleep patterns by merchant ships (look i was having my biweekly 'i need to listen to sleep patterns on repeat Right Now moment no one question me)

no pressure tags for: @thevampireauthoress @destroyyaa @pvmpkin-gvts @cainite-bite @bigsister-watches !

thank you again for the tag!!

#fabtalks #fab talks #this picrew is good because i get to have me wearing what i normally wear (nirvana t-shirts)#i have like almost 20 of them i have a problem its fine #i cut up most of them i think #i just like nirvana t-shirts and i love when people assume im a child who doesn't actually know any nirvana music #im lying about that second part its very weird to care this much about if stranger should or should not be allowed to wear a band t-shirt #people sometimes think im a tiktok teen in public and its a shameful fact about me #its the alt and blue hair which i have had blue hair for a decade everyone else moved into my house asdfghjk i've been here the whole time

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icewindandboringhorror · 6 months

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examining a seemingly normal image only to slowly realize the clear signs of AI generated art.... i know what you are... you cannot hide your true nature from me... go back where you came from... out of my sight with haste, wretched and vile husk

#BEGONE!!! *wizard beam blast leaving a black smoking crater in the middle of the tumblr dashboard*#I think another downside to everyone doing everything on phone apps on shitty tiny screens nowadays is the inability to really see details #of an image and thus its easier to share BLATANTLY fake things like.. even 'good' ai art has pretty obvious tells at this point #but especially MOST of it is not even 'good' and will have details that are clearly off or lines that dont make sense/uneven (like the imag #of a house interior and in the corner there's a cabinet and it has handles as if it has doors that open but there #are no actual doors visible. or both handles are slightly different shapes. So much stuff that looks 'normal' at first glance #but then you can clearly tell it's just added details with no intention or thought behind it. a pattern that starts and then just abruptly #doesn't go anywhere. etc. etc. )#the same thing with how YEARS ago when I followed more fashion type blogs on tumblr and 'colored hair' was a cool ''''New Thing''' instead #of being the norm now basically. and people would share photos of like ombre hair designs and stuff that were CLEARLY photoshop like #you could LITERally see the coloring outside of the lines. blurs of color that extend past the hair line to the rest of the image #or etc. But people would just share them regardless and comment like 'omg i wish I could do this to my hair!' or 'hair goallzzzz!! i #wonder what salon they went to !!' which would make me want to scream and correct them everytime ( i did not lol)#hhhhhhggh... literally view the image on anything close to a full sized screen and You Will SEe #I don't know why it's such a pet peeve of mine. I think just as always I'm obsessed with the reality and truth of things. most of the thing #that annoy me most about people are situations in which people are misinterpreting/misunderstanding how something works or having a misconc #eption about somehting thats easily provable as false or etc. etc. Even if it's harmless for some random woman on facebook to believe that #this AI generated image of a cat shaped coffee machine is actually a real product she could buy somewhere ... I still urgently #wish I could be like 'IT IS ALL AN ILLUSION. YOU SEE???? ITS NOT REALL!!!!! AAAAA' hjhjnj #Like those AI shoes that went around for a while with 1000000s of comments like 'omg LOVE these where can i get them!?' and it's like YOU #CANT!!! YOU CANT GET THEM!!! THEY DONT EXIST!!! THE EYELETS DONT EVEN LINE UP THE SHOES DONT EVEN #MATCH THE PATTERNS ARE GIBBERISH!! HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE THEY ARE NOT REAL!??!!' *sobbing in the rain like in some drama movie*#Sorry I'm a pedantic hater who loves truth and accuracy of interpretation and collecting information lol #I think moreso the lacking of context? Like for example I find the enneagram interesting but I nearly ALWAYS preface any talking about it #with ''and I know this is not scientifically accurate it's just an interesting system humans invented to classify ourselve and our traits #and I find it sociologically fascinating the same way I find religion fascinating'. If someone presented personality typing information wit #out that sort of context or was purporting that enneagram types are like 100% solid scientific truth and people should be classified by the #unquestionaingly in daily life or something then.. yeah fuck that. If these images had like disclaimers BIG in the image description somewh #re like 'this is not a real thing it's just an AI generated image I made up' then fine. I still largely disagree with the ethics behind AI #art but at least it's informed. It's the fact that people just post images w/o context or beleive a falsehood about it.. then its aAAAAAA

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u5an5 · 9 months

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I know ultimate sacrifice is dying in fight for what matters the most and in 100% cases it was reversed by kissing headcanon is strong, but what if your existence was erased from the universe and only I remember about you now instead, huh?

#the fact that 100% cases is a one game is irrelevant #so far rule was simple: hedgehog has to be kissed to be deadn't #sonic the hedgehog #sonic prime season 3 #shadow the hedgehog #i know that making potentialy at least several episodes if not a whole season without titular character is unlikely but what if?#it seems to be year of Shadow so its more likely than ever #sonadow #the “i heart you too”/“you must hate having to admit you need me” callback potential is too good #its not even as much about shipping as hoping for it to be meanigful in any way #i just want it to be more than everyone being sad and constantly saying how amazing he was and how they miss him #& brooding shadow grudgingly working with nine/anyone else because they forced him to and them winning because of power of friendship #and shoving a chaos emerald up sonics ass and everything going back to how it was #i want character development for shadow too damn it!#i want him to make some sort of a sacrifice too #i want him to fight for it. i want him to struggle without sonic. i want him to regret. i want him to go trough 5 stages of grief.#i! want! him! to! FEEL!!!#and what i DEFINITELY dont want is '06v2 #which potentialy can be the case but with “everything is back to normal as if it never happened but i remember Everything” instead #(hopefuly cause if theyre gonna retcon themseves again i swear im gonna give birth of cacti out of my ass)#sonic prime #sonic prime s3 #sth #in this concept sonic goes away somewhere in the first episode/somewhere early in s3 btw #and other ppl will remember sonic in some way at some point or at least help shadow cause lets be honest he needs all the help he can get #but make it gradual and more like a snyder sized movie than a tvshow

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downsteepy · 2 months

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i am very grateful that im not someone that has to deal with daily seizures but it is evil when it takes like a week and a half's worth of business days to recover from a seizure

#if i had them everyday or every other day i would be so fucked 😭#id like to say they dont bother me per se but the entire week after is laying in bed after 11 pm and wondering if jts going to happen again #bc my head feels like its about to explode #and then do not get me started on the fear of getting in the shower within the first few days of one happening .#reasonably i understand that my seizures happen from 11pm to maybe 3 am on average .#but ill have a seizure and then have to hype myself up for like 2 hours just to take one 3 days later st like 2 pm #my seizures do not interfere with my day to day life in extreme ways but existing knowing that i have them during a certain time frame is #like. Hey man can you grow up #also it is really funny being told theyre probably hormonal or stress related and should 'probably stop' as i get into my mid 20s .#Well im turning 25 next month and evidently i still have seizure activity in me #also also heres a fun fact: my epilepsy does not have an actual named diagnosis they just said i certainly have a Form of it ❤️#they dont know what causes them and i have no real warning signs (bc a headache =/= potential seizure)#they dont bother me but i do have to live with the knowledge that i could have one any day now and wake up to my mom asking me questions #hope everyone can tell i have a lot of feelings about my epilepsy despite not talking about it like ever ❤️#the only thing that really bothers me is the no warning signs. ive been perfectly fine and had them. ive had massive migraines when i was #unmedicated and didnt have one. very bizarre #and ofc all my brain scans come back normal all the time so they dgaf Lol

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tariah23 · 4 months

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Noooo…… first it’s Yuuta and Shoko, now they’re yo-yoing back around to Megumi.

#no they’re bashing megumi even more than ever now…. sometimes some characters aren’t built for all of THIS AND ITS OKAY #he’s forever traumatized bro he just lost his sister in front of his eyes and his body was the one that killed her #same situation with Gojo who took care of his sister and he from when they was toddlers and up #megumi doesn’t want to live anymore and yuuji has already tried getting through to him he’s completely broken and even if he’s saved megumi #might not ever be the same #I feel like fans keep on forgetting that these are kids going through all of this stuff that even some of the hardest adults wouldn’t be #able to handle #they bash him but a lot of these same ppl forget what happened to getou and love him unconditionally #they’d say “’well other characters have lost a lot as well and they’re still trying!’ and I just have to #restate that again; simply not every character is built like some hard boiled shounen badass jjk is not the usual shounen that a lot of #fans still refuse to see tbh like it’s kind of built different 🗿#it’s core genres are literally horror/psychological horror like no one if gonna be bouncing back like Naruto bro #and in Naruto’s case he never got to see anyone precious to him die in front of him #who knows what Naruto would’ve went through if sasuke was killed in front of him #but then again #Naruto was already a crazy ass #he vowed to kill sasuke and die with him so nvm #but megumi ISNT crazy like that that’s the difference ajsjsjsj #he’s always been one of the more rational characters amongst his peers #he’s so normal!!! everyone else is fucked up or got larger personalities than he does #maybe ppl are pissed off at the fact that megumi simply isn’t fighting back… it’s frustrating but he’s in pain bro #I don’t see him making it out alive at all either if I’m being real #Yuuji might be one of the only characters to survive at this rate I doubt Yuuta is even going to pull through after the techniques 5 min #are up either…#rambling #the point it…… as sad as it may sound all of the characters fighting so hard now are doing so because they simply have to #Sukuna is literally a calamity and these are the only characters left who will even stand any chance against such a great entity #they don’t have much of a choice man #Gojo tried to prepare his students for the future so that they’ll be strong enough to fight back anything together. not alone #Everyone is doing what they can now

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oifaaa · 1 year

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It's probably one of dc attempt to make bruce closer to gotham/the people he's protecting, that't why they let him be where he is rn. Although imo if they're trying to do that, they could make him suffer a bit more economically

Yeah it doesn't really feel like dc focus enough on his non hero life to actually feel the effects of his lack of capital and it doesn't even seem to really hinder his batman stuff even tho it definitely should do if you were currently reading batman you probably wouldn't even notice

#ask #anon #bruce doesnt feel any closer to the people of Gotham then he did before #and its not like he wasnt spending his money on helping gotham #or like he didnt understand what people were going through #so really its pointless #just something you can say to people as a wee fun fact #along with oh yeah alfreds been dead since 2018 #alot of it is also that everyone knows its not permanent #just a ticking clock until everything goes back to normal

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midwestblue · 1 year

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I think (as much as I annoyingly complain and whine about not having a partner) being single this long has been good for me. I'm learning a lot about myself and I'm learning why I was a shit person, and through finding the root of the problem I can kind of... start to heal. I can be nicer to myself so I can grow and get better. Because TBH.. being mean and cruel to yourself doesn't make you become a better person. It just makes you believe that thats what you /are,/ and thats what you /always will be,/ as opposed to realizing that you are a product of your circumstances but that does not mean you can't get better and become a better person. Accepting help and trying to get better so you can eventually love yourself – even if no one else does – is the greatest and loveliest thing you can do for yourself. You deserve that love, you exist and you live and you feel and that is a truly beautiful gift.

#uhm well anyway I hope everyone finds people and a place where they feel safe and loved #I'm feeling really emotional sorryy #basically. tldr; found the problem! trying to get better now through loving myself instead of hating myself #its been really hard. its going to be really hard. I feel like ive barely made any progress #I wish I had a therapist to talk about this stuff with. but I dont.#btw the uh root problem: finding out my mother was actually hugely abusive & I already knew my dad was #so basically ive been having to confront the fact that Ive been living a lie and my mother is actually deeply terrible as much as my dad #and my parents should have never had children & ive never had one single decent adult in my life #so basically uhm yea lol. I was born into dysfunction. I was never going to turn oit normal or okay.#so its been hard to like. figure all that out alone. learning I have ptsd and extreme ocd + dissociation because of them hasnt been easy #its made me so deeply miserable because I guess I assumed what my mom was doing to us was normal this whole time?#because I thought no. surely not. surely i cant have TWO terrible parents. I need at least 1 good one right?#but yea no actually every adult has hurt me in some way. and I was never going to turn out alright because #I am the king of obsessing and cycling over everything in my life #Im like. not okay right now but not being im in danger just because I wish I had someone to talk to about all this.#I just need to learn to drive so I can get out of here. I need to get out like #all these realizations have been really really heavy on me and ive been having trouble sleeping #Its been hard to process and I dont really know where to go from here. I guess I cant properly heal and grow until I move out?#idk this has been really long im so sorry.#vent #tw vent #tws ->#abuse ment #parents ment #<- in tags

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animutate · 11 months

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man i dontthink i can be in a real relationship ever again im just starting to process how everyone has treated me HORRIBLY

#and by everyone i mean. like 2 people. both of them were bad to me #godd i stayed with this one guy for like 4 years and he never even kissed me. but he was my first boyfriend so i just thought it was normal #he was so distant and i didnt even realize it. and then the second person came along right after he broke up with me and they #were super touchy super affectionate which i loved after being neglected for so long. but then they left me after a month.#and i never talk about it ever because i HATE talking about relationships it makes me feel like a loser.#''ohhh im so touch starved ive never felt truly loved'' what are you some kind of incel #and i need to sotp getting so attached to people who show me any kind of affection i cannot handle a relationship no matter how much i #think i want it. a friend kissed me a couple weeks and now its to the point shes been appearing in my dreams.#theyre really vivid too. i dont even know if i see her that way im not trying to process what my subconscious wants right now.#but its happened like 3 times now and i think it was because i ended up kissing her neck too. thats the main thing that happens in them.#it was so quick it didnt mean ANYTHING but my head wont let me forget about it. what the fuck ever man.#anyway. at least i can laugh about the fact the first guy broke up with me over amino

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lebrookestore · 10 months

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oh girl what the fuck

#so....i have investigated to the best of my abilities and i am still thoroughly lost so thats that #but what?? literally so much transpired ok so firstly soobin flipped seunghan off with his toes like what....#SEUNGHAN WAS KICKED OUT OF RIIZE FOR SMOKING..... R U KIDDING ME LMFAO THATS SO?????#PLEASE he was doing normal dumb teenager things u should see the people in my college and literally every other college here #why do people drag any sort of celebrity for making normal human decisions #like yes it isn't good for you no shit it isn't but im sure he's mentally sane enough to know that #people who smoke are AWARE of the fact its not good for them trust me i have friends who are well aware #the consequences are on every single pack like they know #bro got kicked out for something literally millions of other people do like what kpoppies are insane and sm is stupid #secondly....i don't even know how to address the made in abyss scandal like it seems so messy what even #let me be so clear here if this allegations are true then i am absolutely disgusted and cannot even fathom what the fuck is happening #like woozi taeyong everyone what #but from what i have seen... and PLEASE DO NOT MISTAKE THIS AS ME DEFENDING ANYONE I AM SIMPLY STATING WHAT I HAVE SEEN ON TWITTER DOT COM #the copy that taeyong had of that manga was the censored version #does this help no not really but i don't really know enough about this situation i will look into it as much as i can i just have no TIME #ive also seen that all of them have been cleared??? so thats also something we should take into consideration i suppose #and the manga/anime is advertised as gore/horror etc ofc this does not excuse its contents literally what the fuck is that author on #but i have to state how entirely hypocritical it is to judge someone based off the media they consume because i know damn well #that a lot of people consume very fucked up content like dark fiction is a thing have yall seen the ya novels nowadays #that does not make the person who consumes it condone it...bc its fiction #at the end of the day these are men i dont trust them as delusional as i may portray myself on this hellsite #also i saw a tweet ab someone on twitter saying bc taeyong reads beserk and that is also a manga with incredibly dark themes he must be #fucked up #firstly a lot of manga/anime have dark themes but thats not the point #a LOT of people around the world have read that manga (im literally not talking ab taeyong here i promise)#literally people i know have #they KNOW how fucked up it is they dont recommend it to anyone and literally say read it at your own risk its fucked up #it does not mean they directly condone the shit that goes on in the manga they have quite the opposite stance actually #(beserk is also the nunber 1 rated manga of all time i know this my ex doesn't shut up ab it and neither does one of my best friends)#anyway i dont know much about this yet so i will look into it more; had no idea what was happening until five mins ago but literally wtf ma

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kimmkitsuragi · 2 years

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i will NOT always be this lost and clueless in life right

#most probably not. most probably it will be fine #i feel calmer nowadays but i still dont have a plan or any idea #but i guess being calm is nice too #🗒#whenever i get too overwhelmed i just think well even if you end up as a flop disappointment who doesnt know what to do #and then 'fall behind everyone' etc etc #the world will still carry on. like dont worry too much you can do whatever u want #and trying to accept the fact that whatever happens in the end i MIGHT fail #i might regret it #thats normal!!! that happens!!!!#completely normal things to make peace with at the age of 22. sigh mu emotional and social development is so behind what it should be lol #trying to handle these things Just Now but whatever as i said its okkkkkkk i guess

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mrfoox · 2 years

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Just remembered how after my autistic diagnose every offical person was so careful to approach me about it at first. I know that's probably standard bc not everyone will like those news or know how to handle it but I legit just had doctors go 'hey... So... Are you okay? How do you feel?' and I was like 'haha, nice, so I haven't just been faking/now I know why I'm so different'

#miranda talking shit #And i mean... I wouldnt be diagnosed at all if i didnt personally call for it. I wouldn't have been able to see anyone unless i brought it #Up. Bc ive always been good at masking no one even considerd i was on the spectrum. And it wasnt until i got friends who was diagnosed and #Discussed it with me and their experiences + me reading up on it myself ... Where i was like wait uh ... Actually lol that's me haha #But i know plenty of people probably don't like to get the diagnosis. For me personally it was 90% a gopd thing #It felt a lot like... Ive always known i was 'diffrent' and ive always felt something was so wrong with me bc i didny work like other peope #And then it was like .... No im different but this is the thing that makes me different and its not something 'wrong' with me #For me it felt very freeing to get i guess a label or name on why im different. Before iy was all just... On me?#Like it was my own fault. Why couldnt i do this or just act normal why couldnt i just handle things others could? It all felt very. ...#Personal. Like it was my own fault ? Idk man. It was just great to get a reason to why i was diffrent and that it actually ... Made sense?#There were reasons behind why i got so overwhelmed or behaved weirdly etc yeah #My relationship with my own autism is the weirdest shit ever bc i dont personally think there's many positives with this diagnose #I can think of 10 cons per 1 pro basically but i also... Never had any bad feelings about getting it on paper that i have it?#I know my life would be much easier if i didnt have it. But i also know it cant be cured and is just part of me so #I have a fairly good or at least neatrul general feeling about it. Before i was diagnosed I'd cry and have breakdowns as to #Why i was so weird and why i couldnt be like everyone else. I got that on an weekly basis. After my diagnose? Very rarely.#I guess thats why im so... Supporting and maybe pushing others who think they are on the spectrum to check it out #Many will think oh but it doesnt DO anything. It doesnt change anything. It doesnt help to get it on paper ya know ?#And well yeah i guess technically that's true but man idk. If you have ever felt alienated like ive been my entire childhood and teen years #Getting the diagnose was so nice. And i got to learn about myself in much different ways than before. And understand that i am in fact not #Alone and not so misunderstood by everyone on earth lol.#@anyone who think they might be autistic give me an message and lets talk tbh if you want and need someone to discuss that with #Autism tag

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nothingnowherenow · 24 days

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I really like my job, it pays well and the work environment is like not a hellscape. However everytime I remember I have to work (for the rest of my life!!!) I do consider driving into the side of a building

#or just letting my mental health win and get bad enough that i cannot hold down a job #the fact that i literally cannot pursue my hobbies or things that bring me joy because im exhausted working 20 hours a week #i cant think about it too long or i will do something stupid #i had benefits lined up for myself i was going to be on disability and get an apartment through a program in my city #and i was going to just let myself heal and take life easy at least temporarily until my brain functions better #but now i have like a real job and people are expecting me to go to grad school and i dont want to do any of it if im honest #its totally out of obligation and performing a version of myself for the people around me that i continue to do this #i feel so fucking weak and awful being this burnt out and jaded from working part time for like 3 months #but im also like constantly dealing with trauma shit and voices and sensory overload and social bullshit that doesnt make sense to me #do you know how hard it is to both fulfill a customer service task while your brain is playing a highlight reel of abuse that happened #or when theres shouting and arguing happening in your head and you have to make small talk with coworkers #i work with youth and i love youth work but oh my god half the time i barely feel human much less adult #and people are so quick to brush me off like everyone feels like that and its just because im young yadda yadda #yeah a lot of people do deal with imposter syndrome and role confusion at my age but i am quite literally dealing with somethkng different #i genuinely do not know who i am most days people say my name and it barely registers in my head #i feel like i was just put on earth like a few months ago without any prior history or memories #thats a really distressing feeling!! if you didnt know!! and most people do not know what thats like!!#like not being able to recognize your reflection is not a normal part of being in your early 20s from what ive heard

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deceptive-daydreams · 5 months

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i love being included in album releases its like a giant ongoing slumber party

#and it really makes up for the fact that none of my friends hyperfixate on anything ever #like this is my life now whether i like it or not #and everyone is like hm i like it a normal amount but ok #and im like #but-what about #what about the obessing #wh-#where is the analyzing #i just #i dont know how to do this any other way pls scream with me #and they dont #so its nice to scream with everyone on here and i love you all thank you for being my safe space

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shoresalt · 1 year

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long post about school

i cant help but take academic advice and suggestions and marks so personally as if they reflect who i am morally and my personality. even the simplest mistake of formatting a citation incorrectly ((when citations weren't even necessary i just wanted to provide a source... ) makes me think i am unfixable. and then i see 80s on my report cards and freak out inside. but if anyone else told me they got that mark i would be happy for them. i dont view even lower marks as a representation of my friends? so why do i assume others are having those thoughts about me? is it because i dont know my teachers very personally? and they're more prone to making assumptions about me? (are they even, really??) i feel offended when i see that i'm not at the top of my class. because it makes me look lazy compared to past grades, even if my teachers and classmates didn't even know me then. i'm afraid they'll see me failing and be mad or rude or think i'm no good. grades never affect the way i perceive others. why isnt it the same when i flip it to myself???

i need to find a way to understand that that advice will result in me learning! it does! i have demonstrated this! i can learn from my mistakes!!! i already understand it, logically, but it still pains me anyways. maybe its the permanence of grades. the way they dont change even when i learn something correctly or fix a mistake.

#diary #i think the whole gifted thing makes me very stuck-up and when i do something wrong or fail even a little bit it is like a shot to my ego #i relied in my childhood so much on feeling better than others because i was smarter. i wasnt ever by much but that's still what happened #its sooo fucking humbling then growing up and just being normal. why didnt my special qualities follow me as i grew up??? its not fair but #i think i need it. it's necessary for me to actually learn right?#now i have a reason to teach myself proper ways to study and improve and i have to put in effort like everyone else. like i absolutely #deserve to be humbled in such a way. i dont know if its because being so stuck up made me rude or mean or bad or maybe its just the fault o #the education system for making me feel better than others when i wasnt rlly. its probably both equally. its my fault for believing and #trusting that i was gifted all the way into highschool when the label clearly didnt fit me anymore #like it shoukd have been obvious when i didnt get any special treatment and wasnt bumped up a grade or anything like that #anyways anyways #im looking at it now like this is things being worse before they get better. i just need to adjust. im comfortable with that fact. i'll be #more comfortable with it eventually. especially once i'm proud of my learning again. (maybe that restarts a bad cycle. i'll be careful.)#writing out stuff is so much more useful than i realised hahaha

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