#like no i did not get to go to the eras tour bc i didn't get tickets since it was a shitshow uing

[pengillys]

.

[redbullgirly]

The Dancer [FA14 smau]

Fernando Alonoso x dancer!reader

Masterlist

Summary: Few months after, everybody laughs when they remember the rumors about Fernando Alonso and Taylor Swift dating. Would they laugh though if they new it maybe wasn't so far from truth as it may seem? Well, one thing's for sure - Y/N and Fernando will laugh very much while soft launching their relationship... and confusing everyone with swiftie content thanks to her job.

Warnings: Maybe wrong dates and timeline of The Eras Tour, but whatever XD.

messages between Y/N and Fernando

fernandoalo_oficial posted on instagram

liked by alex_albon, zhouguanyu24, pierregasly and 562,109 others

fernandoalo_oficial I was taken by the view like we were in Paris... romance is not dead.

view all 4001 comments

user1 i dont think my brain can comprehend so many things all at once😨

user2 right? I'M IN SHOCK

user3 fr fernando wants to give us a heart attack😭

lilymhe I see what you did here...

alex_albon I indeed see what he did here too...😏

user4 guys tell us what he did pls I'm begging youuuu

user5 Alonso soft launching was not on my 2024 bingo card

user6 him soft launching with TAYLOR SWIFT wasn't on MY bingo card 😭

user7 How he's suddenly so hot in the first pic? Like damn sir okay🫢

user8 girlfriend effect is real y'all

georgerussell63 Mate you can't do that to me, I just woke up 😧

user8 lmfao princess georgie is as confused as we are xd

fernandoalo_oficial sorry mate, don't get wrinkles🤞

gerogerussell63 What even is that choice of emoji?

fernandoalo_oficial well, someone is original with an emoji and someone is original with a pose... choice is yours 😃

georgerussell63 Stop it's been almost a year 😭

user9 not them bullying each other💀

user10 Yeah the duo we didn't know we needed

user11 I saw the first picture and almost spat out my drink in shock of such a hot photo of Nando. Then I swiped and literally choked on it because the last think I'd ever expect from his photo dump is a soft lunch of some baddie girl🫣

user12 I am delusional for thinking Taylonso could still have a chance, aren't I?

user13 well i mean you basically answered it yourself so... yeah XD

user14 OMG WHAAAAAAT😱

user15 oh no Fernando is not single anymore💔

user16 I think I accidentally teleported into some alternative universe... what is thiiiis?

user17 REAL

user18 fuck me this man seriously used lyrics from paris by ts💀

user19 Idk why but I kinda like this new side of Fernando😻

twitter

yourusername posted on instagram

liked by taylorswift, fernandoalo_oficial, carmenmmundt and 5,234 others

tagged: taylorswift and 9 others

yourusername crazy performance, even crazier night out and the most crazy training the day after... I call that the life of a dancer😻🎉 also my head and heart did go vroom vroom after the second pic

view all 218 comments

taylorswift I call that the eras tour life!💗

yourusername yes ma'am!

user1 damn she got our queen Taylor replying to her posts... how does it feel to live my dream?!😭

yourusername amazing! 🥰

user2 such a shame my mum didn't force me to try dancing when I was little... I could have been at podium next to Taylor Swift right now 😃

liked by the author

user3 You are such a good dancer, the shows wouldn't be the same without you Y/N!

yourusername omg thank u sm I really appreciate that!!🥹

user4 sooo... are we gonna just ignore Fernando in the likes or what???

user5 THAT'S WHAT I CAME HERE TO SAY

user6 fr I need some crazy detective from twitter to figure this out😫

carmenmmundt Hey, could you give me and lilymhe vip tickets...?

yourusername I mean... everything can be done 😏 I'll just need to ask mother Taylor bc I just used my plus one at the last concert🫡

lilymhe OH MY GOD WE LOVE YOU Y/N

yourusername I love you girls as well, we have to finally meet sometimes!!!

carmenmmundt Yeah, I think we'll have chance at the end of February at the latest😉

user7 WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE

user8 Omg are they hinting Y/N at the Bahrain GP?? F1 season starts at the end of February right?!

goergerussell63 Well hello there, nice to meet you Y/N... given the fact my dear girlfriend doesn't care about me, could you give me and alex_albon vip tickets as well?😊

alex_albon Yeah Y/N we are very big fans😊

yourusername everything for the guys that go vroom vroom🫡

alex_albon Like your heart

yourusername exactly!

user9 I AM FREAKING OUT

user9 MY BRAIN HURTS FROM HOW MUCH IS GOING ON

user9 WAIT FUCK I THINK I GOT IT

user9 AAAHHH I FEEL LIKE SHERLOCK MF HOLMES

twitter & messages between Y/N and Fernando

yourusername posted on instagram

liked by selenagomez, fernandoalo_oficial, francisca.cgomes, astonmartinf1 and 8,234 others

yourusername preparing for the next season🤞

view all 1,029 comments

user1 y/n is literally living my dream life rn

georgerussell63 Oh no... he infected you with that emoji, didn't he?

yourusername we'll never know... maybe I infected HIM with it

gourgerussell63 I think higher of you and your taste in emojis

yourusername aww thanks princess georgie how sweet🥰

georgerussell63 I take it back

user2 HELLO?! what is happening💀

dancer1 excuse me little miss y/n... is that a man i'm seeing?🤨

yourusername well... maybe

dancer2 Be fr she's trying to soft launch him for like a month now😭

dancer1 okay i'm calling you rn STAY WHERE YOU ARE

user3 Guys why's nobody talking about the paddock pass in the 5th picture!!!!

user4 omg that's a PADDOCK PASS?😱

user5 yeah it is I noticed it thanks to this comment

user6 Wait... does that mean her and Fernando have been together longer? Because she already went to a race before the winter break??

user5 idk girl we don't even know for sure she's really dating him😓

user6 idgaf about who's dating her bc even without bf y/n's sooo hot like damn... mommy🥵

user7 I'm so confused... is this Alonso's girl or not?

user8 trust me user7 - we'd all like to know that😭

user9 😍

yourusername and fernandoalo_oficial posted on instagram stories

yourusername story has been seen by taylorswift, lance_stroll and 13,634 others

fernandoalo_oficial story has been seen by charles_leclerc, astonmartinf1 and 308,003 others

user1 replied to yourusername story: is that an f1 driver there y/n

dancer1 replied to yourusername story: Hope he'll not disappoint me in person when you talked about him sm 😒

yourusername ohhh trust me you'll love him just as I do🥰

dancer1 omg bleeeeh I hope not 🫣

user2 replied to yourusername story: your friends are so pretty😩

taylorswift replied to yourusername story: When you'll take him to get my approval??

yourusername soon taylor, soon... I'm just afraid it'll break the internet lol

taylorswift I think we're used to that already with Travis at this point😂

yourusername true😭

fernandoalo_official replied to yourusername story: 🔥

yourusername it's going to be okay, they'll love you 🫶

fernandoalo_oficial how did you know I was nervous amor?

yourusername I saw you literally shaking when you left to the bathroom love...😹

yourusername oh they're back come quickly!!💞

fernandoalo_oficial onmw

user3 replied to fernandoalo_oficial story: IS THIS THE CONFIRMATION WE NEEDED?!

user4 replied to fernandoalo_oficial story: I see what you're doing here old man 👀

user5 replied to fernandoalo_oficial story: soft launch slowly turning into a hard launch and I'm here for it!!!!

dancer1 replied to fernandoalo_oficial story: I guess you aren't that bad in person...

fernandoalo_oficial 😁

user6 replied to fernandoalo_oficial story: screaming crying throwing up

taylorswift replied to fernandoalo_oficial story: You better treat my best dancer right Alonso!🤍

fernandoalo_oficial of course ma'am! 🫡

user7 replied to fernandoalo_oficial story: So cute!!😍

messages between Y/N and Fernando

fernandoalo_oficial posted on instagram

liked by maxverstappen1, oscarpiastri, f1, yourusername and 601,239 others

tagged: yourusername

fernandoalo_oficial All these people think love's for show but I would die for you in secret... #swiftie

view all 6,022 comments

yourusername I'd just like to make it clear to everybody that it's me who made him be swiftie... you're welcome💋

liked by the author

user1 OMG THE LYRICS FROM PEACE BY TAYLOR

carmenmmundt Y/N is so pretty!😍

yourusername ohh carmen ilysm you're even prettier🥹

user2 No way Fernando just really har launched his gf😭

f1 We smell a new wag!

user4 LOL you're kinda late for that admin xd

user5 Congrats and wish you well world champ!💪

user6 can we talk about how gorgeous she is???

lilymhe double date when honey?

yourusername anytime babeee!!!

fernandoalo_oficial why do I have a feeling me and alex_albon will be third-wheeling on you two?🤨

alex_albon you'll eventually get used to third-wheeling your own girlfriend and her friends, trust me fernando...🤠

user7 This girl is like a goddess, I can't even blame him ❤️🔥

user8 mommy & daddy

georgerussell63 Finally! Congratulation on the hard launch mate👍

fernandoalo_oficial and look who's original with emojis now...😂

user9 from now on this is my fav couple

user10 mine to

user11 SHUT UP THE DELULU GIRLIES ON TWITTER WERE RIGHT

lance_stroll 💚💚

user12 nah I don't know what he see in her🙄

user13 Go away we don't want the jealous haters here 🥱

kellypiquet Welcome to the F1 family yourusername!🤍

yourusername thx!💞

user14 i call this couple goals

user15 I'M SO READY FOR BOYFRIEND MATERIAL ALONSO

user16 I can already feel he'll be so hot in his new era 😩

user17 lmao nando in his swiftie and stlutty era as someone on twitter said😹

yourusername swiftie and slutty era? i like the sound of it😏

user16 not y/n reading all the comments sipping over her bf 💀

liked by yourusername

THE END

Author's Note: Hello everyone, hope you liked it! I'm not sure you should get used to me posting so often, but let's say that after Lance's social media au and the great feedback I had so much motivation... plus I'm sick, so I actually have the time to write and create XD. Anyway, I'll be glad for likes, comments, reblog and every other way of showing support! Have a great day and let me know how you liked Nando and swiftie dancer together!

[x-liv25-jamieswife]

jameson and grayson head canons

@reminiscentreader requested these and i'm more than happy to do them. i hope you like them (btw this has not been proof read cause i'm wayyy too lazy).

when jameson was younger, he used to spy on grayson all the time to try to learn how to be more like him and please tobias (tobias hawthorne, i hate you)

jameson will sometimes join grayson when he's swimming

when grayson finds jameson passed out drunk in the house, he drags him up to his room and places some water and ibuprofen on his nightstand.

on grayson's birthday, jameson gives him a gag gift in front of everyone, but gets a more meaningful one and places it somewhere in his room.

during the eras tour, jameson tried his best to get grayson to dance and sing along or at least smile (it worked, he started swaying his hips a bit and everyone was shocked)

when grayson is overworking himself, jameson will do smth really stupid to get his attention and get him to stop working (he doesn't want to outright say he cares and that he's overworking himself)

grayson loves discreetly taking photos of jameson and giving them to avery.

jameson once managed to get grayson drunk (gray was so drunk he started telling everyone how much he loves them and can't imagine his life without them)

when grayson met lyra (or whoever is love interest is), jameson played match maker

speaking of that, jameson talked grayson into confessing

at avery and jameson's wedding, grayson was the photographer

once, jamie had a panic attack and just sat there and held him in his arms.

sometimes they'll go on runs or go to the gym together (whatever they do to work out)

jamie sometimes joins grayson on his nature walks (gray loves taking pictures of nature)

when gray is sick, jamie will make him soup and always checks up on him to make sure he isn't working.

when they were younger, jamie once stole gray's camera. gray got so mad it scared baby jamie.

even though they didn't really get along during the entire emily situation, whenever emily did smth like really bad to the other brother, they would point it out.

speaking of emily, even though she was two-timing them, gray and jamie felt bad so they would buy each other little apology gifts.

gray lovesss cooking. whenever he tries a new recipe, he always makes jamie try first.

once gray overheard tobias telling jamie he wasn't as good as his brothers, and gray threw a small surprise party with xander and nash to show him that they love him and that it isn't true.

when he was younger (like 14-15), gray would sometimes get really depressed and wouldn't get out of his room (this made him hate himself bc he has responsibilities as the heir apparent), jamie would sometimes just enter his room sit on his bed, and talk about his day. it would always cheer gray up.

gray used to read jamie bed time stories.

jamie used to have a hugeee fear of heights when he was like 5. gray would bring him out and would take him to this really tall building (nash would trail behind bc they were so young). everyday or so, they would go a little bit higher.

when gray couldn't sleep, he would go to jamie's room and sleep in his bed.

gray knows how to fly a helicopter, and sometimes he takes jamie with him on one of his flights. sometimes they'll be silent, and other times they'll just vent (they only vent when in that helicopter)

they love watching sappy romance movies together

grayson got jameson into reading. they now talk to each other about their favorite books/books they're currently reading.

jameson and grayson were each other's best man.

grayson over works himself as a coping mechanism so jamie tries to get him to try a healthier coping mechanism (like rock climbing, running, etc), and it actually works. gray now runs as a coping mechanism

after jamie and avery's first fight, jamie was extremely scared she was going to leave him. grayson held him and comforted him (he also made him some food (jamie's favorite meal of grayson's is his carbonara pasta, don't ask me why))

gray isn't as obvious as xander and avery, but when jamie's around, he'll start humming london boy

gray introduced jamie to skincare

ok in my xander and avery hc post i said that xander forced avery to re create the vigilante shit performance. gray had to hold jamie up bc j was so attracted to avery he felt weak in the knees.

they dedicate bad blood to emily during the eras tour

sometimes jamie will buy gray some suits he thinks he would like.

that's all i can come up with for now (although i might make a part two someday cause i found it quite easy to come up with hcs for them). next post is going to be an averyjameson head canon post (my favorite ship of ALLL time). if anyone has requests, i'd be happy to take them.

[lowkeyrobin]

hiiiiii can u pls make a tommy x fem!reader where they go on a fake date for a vlog (but its actually a secret plot by tommy or yn (u choose) to go on a date w the other bc theyve had a secret crush on thr other for a long time🤭🤭)

and then like,,,, in the middle of the date the other realizes that oh,,,, i like them

AND THEN CUE THE PANIC THAT COMES WITH REALIZING U LOVE UR BEST FRIEND IN THE MIDDLE OF A FAKE DATE AND THEN MAYBE AFTER FINISHING THE VLOG THEY LIKE REVEAL THEIR FEELINGS TO EACH OTHER AND AGREE TO GO ON A REAL DATE LATER???👁️👁️

omg yes of COURSEEEE ; also I do only do gn readers but I can 100% do the rest of this 💪💪 hope you enjoy 🫶 ; also djo is mentioned (I've been a fan since like 2020) do not start gatekeeping on me LMAO ; listening to my tommyinnit playlist while making this and 🙏🙏🙏🙏 (link can be found on my masterlist -> playlists 👍 it's a banger

TOMMYINNIT ; real date ❌️ fake date ✅️

summary ; you go on a fake date for a vlog and decide to go on a real one because the romantic tension got you both positively nauseated

warnings ; language

genre ; fluff

word count ; 1.5k

masterlist

"Y/n, you wanna go stop for food?" The blonde asks, dropping the vlog camera a bit as he hears his stomach grumble in hunger. "We can make it a date for the vlog" He suggests, praying you'd say yes.

You nod, agreeing to the bit and the food considering you were also beginning to starve. Meanwhile, he feels his intestines flip around in his torso, trying to hide a giggle of approval as you agree.

You stop at a little lunch place and dine in with some sandwiches and soup. You and Tommy sit at one of the half-booth-half-chair tables, and put the camera in front of you as you sit next to each other. You talk about and eat at the same time, basically doing a mini storytime for the vlog, considering he was trying to do a vlog challenge to upload every week and have his videos reach at least twenty minutes and you were down to help him.

Tommy tries to push off the weight off his shoulders, love pulling him down as he looks over at you, talking to the camera about a story from earlier. He feels his stomach fill with butterflies as you laugh and smile, your eyes twinkling like sun reflecting off of water.

He quickly looks back down at his food, trying to hide his longing eyes for you. His ears dust a little red, feeling flustered as you joke around with him, making little date conversation to play up the bit.

You eventually get into the joke as a whole, making fake flirty conversation, making both of you silently panic inside. It's obvious to everyone but you, his ears and cheeks dusted pink, you trying to hide your smile as your face warms up past the heat of the oven when you bake out-the-box cakes together. You have to walk out of the building because you were getting too loud with laughter and didn't want to disturb the other patrons.

You walk down the sidewalk together, talking on and on and opening up more than usual about a lot of things. Tommy shows off all the scenery as you walk, later to be edited with Empire State Of Mind in the background, considering you'd been traveling around New York together while Freddie and Jack did their own things around the city.

You take the camera after a few minutes, wanting to have some fun with it. From silly angles and .5's of your foreheads to the Empire State Building and the flashy lights and screens everywhere like Times Square, you got it all. You found it so fucking enjoyable, catching all the beauties of city life you'd never experienced before. The bustling streets and the sound of music coming from just about everywhere, it weirdly comforted you.

You hold the camera up high, zoomed all the way out to capture you and the blonde, singing along to End Of Beginning by Djo, the song playing in the earbuds you were sharing. I mean, this was the beginning of a new end, in all honesty, the tour, him, your new eras and styles of content, the new way you'd picked yourselves off the floor and made yourselves new people. You were both happy enough to be on the hectic rollercoaster of life with each other in the seat next to the other.

Tommy can't help but find your funny control over the camera and your jokes amusing, to say the least. He couldn't help but fall more head over heels than he already was. He didn't know how he didn't notice it already, but when you touched the concrete in New York City, he felt it. Something in him awakened, like he realized how amazing it was to have this tour going on, for one, two, you were there. You were always there. You were always right in fucking front of his eyes.

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

You lay face up on the bed in your hotel room, staring at the ceiling. The room is freezing considering the heater doesn't work, and you needed the window open to get some fresh air. You're wrapped in a blanket you'd brought from home for comfort, and hidden under the thick bedsheets you'd been given for the night.

The show went well as per usual, at least.

What wasn't going well was the fact you couldn't sleep.

All because of a certain blonde haired boy who was currently obsessed with sweatshirts and jeans.

His laugh was contagious, his smile shining a thousand sun's, his eyes flowing as deep as the sea you longed for back in Europe, which you frequently walked with MotherInnit. You could stare at him all day, you'd never realized how you felt about him, or the fact the way you thought about him was romantic.

You stare up at the ceiling, a boob light hanging above your feet. It was times like these where you wished you could afford a nicer hotel. The mattress itched of dirty sheets and crumbs, which were not caused by you, or maybe that was the fear of sleeping in a bed that wasn't yours... one of the two.

You wanted to stomp up to Tommy's room, a floor above you and down the hall some, to just rant about taking him on a proper date tomorrow considering how much you'd enjoyed your "date" earlier. But you didn't have the heart, you lay with your stomach twisting and turning, heart aching and burning for him by your side to warm you up.

The bustling city night life soothes you to sleep, the vehicles below on the streets all headed home or to work or around the city. The people shoulder to shoulder on the street, enjoying a peaceful walk to wherever their feet were taking them, the homeless girl you'd given a couple hundred dollars to earlier as she played her flute. A boy about her age had joined her since then, wielded with a guitar, possibly becoming friends through bonding with their interests and the fact they were both struggling.

You could hear their music even from four floors up and through the city traffic, it was beautiful. They fit together perfectly, like two neighboring pieces of a puzzle. You wished you felt that way with Tommy. You wished you could come clean to him about your feelings and how you really thought of him. Yet, tonight was not that night.

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

The panic had set in from last night now.

You were barely awake when you stared up at the ceiling, swooning over your best friend, but now you were wide awake and in total realization of your thoughts. You internally cringe every time you think about it, wanting to vanish off the face of the Earth.

Through the last day in New York, you found yourself avoiding Tommy at all costs. From wandering off with Freddie to eating by your lonesome and spending time in your hotel room to "edit videos," you'd probably only spent a half hour around him.

He was growing concerned while Jack and Freddie shared a knowing look, knowing exactly what was happening. They'd both known of his crush on you, which spanned past the past four or so months. You finally realized you liked him back and wanted to deny it.

The two wanted to intervene but decide to let fate run its course, trusting that your natural human instincts would bring you together again. You bump into the blonde in the hallway, needing to go get ice to sit in it for an hour in the bathtub as some sort of therapy, which Tommy highly always made fun of you for. You apologize, the empty bin for ice in your hands.

"Ice?" He asks, then groans with a smile, "You seriously gonna sit in ice til we have to leave for the airport tomorrow morning?"

You shrug with a light smile, feeling your heart racing. You hear your own heartbeat pounding in your ears, drowning out his beautiful voice.

"Y/n? You okay?" He speaks, snapping you back to reality.

Without any thought behind it, you shoot your shot. "Do you wanna go on an actual date sometime?" You quickly speak, stumbling over your words.

His face quickly shifts to a smile, his smile lines showing themselves off. "Yeah! Wait, no, I mean like, "Yeah, sure," not like, "I'm so desperate, yeah-"

"Cool!" You quickly rush past him, your hands sweaty, your face flushing as you dart towards the ice machine.

He turns and watches you quickly speed walk away, his cheeks burning bright as he smiles, watching you walk away.

TommyInnit ; fake and real dates with Y/n <3 ; 20:49 ; Posted 4 hours ago

Y/U/N left a comment!

Y/U/N ; youre actually a dork

TommyInnit replied to your comment!

TommyInnit ; well you couldn't pick between a fake and a real date, apparently. we had to do both

Y/U/N ; fake date ✅️ real date ❌️

TommyInnit ; people.

[userparamore]

hi! genuine question - why is it a disappointment that pmore performed at eras tour? i’m very neutral on taylor swift so i don’t really know the issues surrounding it. thank you in advance ❤️

i'm no taylor swift stan so i don't really want to, or have the energy to mention everything. but from a paramore fan perspective it's disappointing bc it's makes them come across as hypocrites. i've talked about this before and i don't want to get into it again but they've spoken up about climate change, hayley even jokes about root being about our planet "running out of time", they've partenered with REVERB on their this why tour (which i guess is a little greenwashing-ish but better than nothing). but this ends up being ungenuine when you tour with the artist who releases the most co2 emission out of every celebrity. the fact that she sued the kid who called her out for this, i think says alot about her as a person. paramore preaches about the shows being a safe place for everyone; all poc and lgbtq+. but then they tour with the prime example of white feminism, who only speaks up/comments on things if it affects her. and again with paramore claiming to be more political during the this is why album cycle, and expressed multiple times how important the diversity of their fans are etc. it does not seem genuine when they're praising an artist like taylor swift as much as they have been doing. i think that saying of: if you want to know someone, just look at who they choose to spend their time with, is very true.

another part of this and i think this is probably the biggest one for paramore fans in general is that the tours during this is why didn't include europe mainland (or asia). they toured only in uk&ireland for this is why, and then in interviews said they did an european tour. is the european tour in the room with us now? anyway, the last european mainland tour was jan 2018, and had only 3 dates that wasn't in the uk out of 8. so the last real european tour was summer 2017 with 18 dates. 6 of them was in the uk&ireland and 4 of the rest of the european dates were festivals leaving only 8 "real" concerts in mainland europe. lots of the countries on the eras tours, like italy, poland, switzerland etc paramore haven't played in over a decade (aka during the self-titled era). to have waited this long for them to tour and then for it to cost close to 400 dollars for a nosebleed ticket, if you even get a ticket, does not feel great. another thing is that for some of these countries paramore have made 2 albums since the last time they toured, and they've never had the opportunity to hear any of the songs from those albums live. as the opener act on the eras tour, paramore played 9 song. most of these were their greatest hits. as a paramore fan you obviously want to go to a concert to see them perform, but for that amount of money i think it's reasonable to want to hear other songs than still into you, ain't it fun and misery business. the setlist was catered to reach non-fans, and that's fine honestly, it would probably be worse for them to play songs "nobody" had heard, than the one's that had commercial success and makes them be able to have some crowd interaction.

either way, i don't think people would've been as disappointed by this tour if they had also announced an solo european tour. the argument that this will get them new fans and make them a bigger name doesn't hold water in my opinion bc paramore are already a big band. they're already a band who can sell out tours and big venues on their own.

[tallyica]

pls anything with load era james IM BEGGING YOU

hihi!!

thanks for the request! please be specific next time! I don't know what you want, so please give me at least a genre or scenario!!

anyways, its an angst fic bc I didn't know what else to do

warnings: drinking, swearing, one line that sounds sucicidal but isn't, possible break up, arguing, angst in general

word count: 2,440

LOSING YOU (1996)

I sat in the cold, empty hotel, sitting on the bed and just staring at the wall, trying to process everything that's been going on.

The last few months in James and I’s relationship have been pure hell. Nothing was going right with us, it felt like there was no more caring, passion, or even love. 

These months James has been on tour, and I decided to join him for a few of the dates, tired of spending months alone in our apartment, the quietness and deadness of it all seemed odd. I always enjoyed James’ presence, and I had gone out on tour with him before, but this time was, way, way different. Normally, he comes back somewhat drunk, not fully wasted since I was there, but he was tipsy. Now, he would come up at 3 am, drunk off his ass, and be all weird to me. He’d ignore me completely unless he had needs he wanted me to fulfill.

But lately, for at least the last 15 shows or so, he would just come in drunk, push my hands away from him, and wouldn't let me cuddle up with him, which was very not like him, as he was one who valued personal time, but perhaps his priorities have changed.

I sighed, hearing the doorknob of the hotel rattle, it was locked, and I slowly trudged towards the door, a small hope begging that James was sober, and just wanted to love me. I cracked the door open, seeing James swaying slightly as I opened the door fully to let him in, and oh how he reeked of beer. I moved so he could get in, and he stumbled in, not even greeting me.

“Hi,” I said coldly with a scoff, shutting the door. I watched as he shuffled to the bed, falling on it with a groan.

“Why are you always.. Such a bitch..?” He slurred out, and I felt my heart drop, my stomach twisted into a knot. We had argued plenty of times, name called even, but he never called me a bitch. 

“What the fuck did you just say to me?” I said, more of a statement than a question, my voice shaking slightly. He was drunk, he must not meant it.

“Youre.. You're a bitch..” He slurred out at me again, which stung again. We had been together for almost 6 years, and he had never lashed out at me, not like this.

I scoffed, my hurt and sadness only coming out as anger, “What is your problem? You haven't wanted to be around me at all, for weeks. You're always drunk, and you never hug me, kiss me, talk to me, hold me, anything that we used to do.” I stated coldly at him, though I doubted the words really registered in his mind.

James just groaned, “God, all you do is whine and complain.. Just shut up for once..” He grumbled out, and it hurt me, bad.

I shook my head, grabbing my coat and wallet before walking towards the hotel room door, “I’ll talk to you once you're sober.” I called out into the room, though I doubt he understood me as I slammed the door, storming out of the hotel and walking out into the street, the cold air nipping my skin harshly.

My outfit wasn't very warm, just my sleep shorts and one of James’ old band shirts, along with my jacket. I hated the shirt I was wearing, he was the last thing I wanted to be reminded of, though It brought me some slight comfort, smelling him on it and feeling that he was still with me somewhat, even if not truly or emotionally.

I walked for about twenty minutes until I found another hotel, booking a room for the night as I felt the cold air melt off of me, the warm hotel air swaddling me in a way. I sighed, slowly approaching the front desk, the receptionist glancing up at me from her computer screen.

She was quick to take in my rushed state, clearly here on a whim. “How can I help you?” She said, her voice tired. It was so late, I didn't blame her. I read the name on her nametag, Laurice. A name I hadn't ever heard before.

“Can I get a room, just for the night please?” I said, my voice shaking a bit, my mind still hazed from the argument.

Laurice nodded, typing on her keyboard for a few moments before glancing back up at me. “Alright, we can get you in room 247 on floor 3 for $67.48. Will that be cash or card?” 

I sighed, grabbing my wallet out of my pocket, “Uhm, cash,” I mumbled, digging out a fifty-dollar bill and a twenty.

Laurcie grabbed my money, giving me my change as she handed me my hotel key, “Enjoy your stay, you check out at two pm tomorrow.” She informed me briefly before sitting back down behind the desk, and I took the key, walking away.

I walked slowly into the elevator, the empty, compact steel room making me feel horridly uncomfortable. The silence, the only noise was the rutting hum of the elevator moving up towards floor three, until the sudden jolt and stop, the elevator dining and opening.

I quickly walked out, wandering around the vacant halls until I found my room, unlocking the door with my key, stepping in and shutting it, and locking it behind me. Standing there for a moment, the events of the night replaying in my mind, everything finally hitting me, hard. I stumbled towards the bed, beginning to sob. All my emotions and hurt finally spilled over from the last weeks, of being ignored, pushed away, insulted, and yelled at. All I needed was someone to hold me, love me, and comfort me. This was a life I didn't want to live. Maybe even after all of these years with James, the ‘honeymoon phase’ has ended. Maybe he was right, that I couldn't handle dating a rockstar like him.

How could things fall apart in such an instant? One day we were perfect, happy as can be, discussing our future, even marriage or children. I clutched my stomach, feeling nauseous at all of these emotions. I brought the large shirt up to my nostrils, inhaling his familiar scent.

I hadn't been alone to process a breakdown like this in years, James wasn't here to hold me, tell me it would all be alright and that he loved me, but now I questioned if any of that was true. Everything had fallen apart around me, I was alone, in a different place from where we lived, sobbing in a hotel room.

Eventually, I cried myself to sleep, the half-empty bed making me feel so odd, so unnatural. Sleeping without him holding me as I curl up to him is so wrong. I have grown so dependent on him, yet he seems like he could use less of me.

IN THE MORNING

I woke up groggily, my body instinctively searching for his warmth, though finding none. Last night memories flooded back to me. Now realisation hit me. I looked at the clock, the red pixels gleaming 1:34 PM. I had slept in so late, and by now James was either sober and hungover, or drunk off his ass again. Maybe he skipped town and left with the band to go to their next gig early.

They were done with the shows in this city, and the private plane would be leaving tomorrow at noon. My list of choices was small, either not leave the city, fly home, show up to the private plane unannounced, or make amends.

This shouldn't be so hard for me to get over, it was just a drunken spat, but he has been neglectful towards me for weeks. Was there anyone else I could find to even possibly replace him?

The man who had held me during so many nights, made me smile, made m laugh, and made me feel like the most important and loved person in the world, now made me feel like a piece of shit he stepped in, it was like all we had has vanished.

He would push me aside when I tried to hug him, wipe my kiss stains from his cheek, shrug off my questions, and keep me distant. I would try to cuddle up to him in bed, and he would just move further away from me until he was against the wall, then he would tell me to “give him some space”.

If anything, I have to settle down to what we have become with him. I had to check out if this hotel was in.. Fuck, twenty minutes. I didn't have much or anything to grab, but I would have nowhere else to go except for the hotel James was at. I had to speak to him, either to fix things or end them.

I sighed, quickly fixing the bed and grabbing my wallet, checking out of the hotel and trying to remember the way back to where James and the rest of the band were staying. I wasn't sure which street I walked up or down, where I turned left or right. This would be very, very difficult.

After wandering around for thirty minutes, I finally reached the hotel. I stood in front of the door for what felt like an hour, but I quickly walked in, though was surprised to see James’ bandmate, Kirk, in the lobby of the hotel, talking with a man who I didn't recognize, though I assumed he was a fan. I slowly approached him, tapping him on the shoulder and he quickly turned his head back, recognizing me.

“Hey, do you know-” My words were mumbled and hushed, though that didn't matter as Kirk quickly interrupted me.

“Hey! Where the hell have you been? We were all gonna go to breakfast but James said he couldn't find you or something, is everything ok?” Kirk spoke quickly, his words filled with confusion and relief.

I sighed, “Yeah, everything is fine, where's James?” I glanced around the lobby, hoping to see him maybe.

Kirk nodded, “He's in his room, probably waiting for you,” He responded, and I nodded, already walking away.

“Thanks, Kirk,” I called back to him, already down the hallway and getting into the elevator, headed for the 6th floor where we stayed. The elevator hummed, gradually bringing me to my desired floor with a ding, the doors opened and I walked down the hallway, each step feeling like I was walking a thousand miles, even though the door to our room was probably no more than twenty feet away.

I now stood in front of the door, collecting myself and taking a deep breath before opening the door, seeing James standing in the hotel, on the phone with someone. He turned around when he heard me opening the door, his face turning relieved, setting down the phone and giving his full attention to me in what felt like years.

“Where the fuck have you been?” He asked with a scoff, he wasn't mad, or at least he didn't seem mad, just concerned.

I sighed, “Away. Do you remember anything from last night?”

James rubbed his forehead, “I.. no, not really, we did our show, and then everything blurry after that. Did something happen?”

I shrugged, still standing in the doorway, finally shutting the door, “Yeah, I guess. We need to talk.”

James grew more concerned, his face showing the thousands of thoughts running through his head. “Ok, uhm, sure, is everything okay?”

“I don't know.”

“What is that supposed to mean? What happened?” James began to sound more irritated, though still worried and confused.

“I want to know what happened too,” I stated, so lost that he couldn't even pinpoint why or how I was hurting.

“Enough of these bullshit games, the hell is up with you?” He seemed to only grow irritated with me.

I sighed, now I was getting annoyed with him. “No, what the hell is up with you? This is the first time you've tried to talk to me, in like, a week. You avoid me, you push me away, you won't kiss me, you won't even look at me! I have been neglected and ignored by you for weeks. Ever since this tour started, I have been your last priority.” I finally said, my words heavy yet rushed with emotion.

James was silent, he couldn't think of anything to say. He knew that I was right, but would he ever admit it? He sat on the bed, sighing, looking at the floor, and refusing to make eye contact with me.

The silence went on for about a minute, and I was losing my patience, “Are you gonna say anything or just..?” I finally muttered, growing tired of being ignored by him.

James shook his head, shrugging a bit. “I.. I don't know, I'm sorry, I never meant to be or tried to be cold to you, it's just.. I get like this on tour, y’know?” He mumbled, clearly digging for an excuse.

I scoffed, “But you have time to get drunk, party and fool around with other women?”

James just looked defeated, he didn't want to argue. “I'm sorry, ok? I don't know what to say.. Just, c’mere?” His voice was soft, tired.

I was hesitant, I didn't know why he wanted me to go to him, but I did, slowly walking towards him on the bed, and sitting down next to him. He laid his head against my shoulder, something I had missed, his touch. I didn't know what to say, or really what to do.

“I love you..” James mumbled to me softly, but I wasn't sure if he was truthful. I wanted to ask him if he really did because it never seemed like it anymore, but I knew better and to hold my tongue.

I sighed, my eyes on him, “I love you too..” I muttered in response. My words were true, I did love him, but did he? That's what I wasn't sure of.

“I'll change, ok? I won't drink as much, I won't be out as late after shows.. I won't ignore you anymore. That's a promise.” James swore to me, and I had no choice but to take his word for it, and to believe him.

“I hope that stays true,” I replied in a soft, slightly shaky tone as I let out a shaky sigh, possibly beginning a new stage of our relationship.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

sorry if this isn't too good! I also just had it sitting around for a week and I wanna move on to another idea I had

[dnp-dreams]

DnP rhythm mobile game!!!? 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯 this is gonna be long and detailed.

if anyone is familiar, it was similar to those kpop rhythm games where you can gacha the idols from different eras + japanese idol games UI.

PHACHA: the gacha for the cards + PHUDIO items. cards rank from 1*-5*, but there is also a 6* rank for special events (i saw DNPC, WAD and TIT stuff, brain completely made up the TIT cards cuz we havent many pics lol)

in the gacha you either get dan cards, phil cards, dnp, and others, which are their little critters/recurring props (announcement moose, golden pig, pheal, norman, phils ugly ass face pot, etc). i think in my dream i pulled a 4* phil card from one of the vacation pics.

PHALLERY: where your gacha cards are stored. it had real pictures of the two, screenshots from their vids of items, some chibi artwork, and queenusagi's art. you can view your cards in HD, level them up, read their stories, and there are little descriptions for each of em.

PHORE (store): exchange real currencies into the game currencies. theres a money system called DnPCoins or smth (sounds like a bitcoin...), and also some sort of gems. to level up your cards, you "feed" them with food items. the items have a ranking system too: huge xp are heavy/special foods like mukbang pizzas and slut toast, mid xp is like normal toast or cereal, and small xp are treats like marshmallows and cola gummies. YOU CANNOT FEED ANY PHIL CARDS CHEESE OR DAN CARDS LICORICE! they will lose xp!

PHORE (lore): dan and phil "lore", but a bit dumbed down because... duh. unfortunately i didn't get to explore this one thay much but its just stories of them, real and made up, in the style of a visual novel with phanart as sprites!

PHUDIO (studio): a feature where chibi DnP "create" their music in a room you can customize with items you collect from playing the game/gacha (i made mine look like their gaming set up with a butt chair and like 5 huge pheals in the bg). the chibis also move around and would interract with the items/eachother.

PHLAY: it had all of their tour music, the little songs theyve made (like i think the tutorial song was the ladders song), and the main catalogue was dnpbeats. it had a huge banner in the home screen that announced there was a summer event going on and any songs you play from the summer DnPB album gives you double xp.

PHRIENDS: this tab was locked for me, no idea what this was. im guessing its to become friends with other players.

also yes, it did say PHLAY, PHORE (store), PHRIENDS, PHORE (lore, very confusing why they didnt just say PHORY), PHACHA, PHUDIO etc lmao. i may have been gaming a bit too much while having dnp in the background....

-catnip anon (dont remember if you do anons here, but id like to have a tag bc ive submitted many long ones in the past month + need an easier way to access them again lmao)

this is so detailed i love it

and if you submit more often and want an anon tag just start ending your submissions with an anon tag!

[carmenberzattosgf]

okay as much as i liked season 3 i do have two things i can think of off the top of my head that genuinely irritated me. (more continuity things honestly). Spoilers under the cut!

we did not get to see the first service at the bear. not even a little snippet. I'm still trying to figure out if the second episode was directly when he gets out of the walk in but i cannot tell because everyone seems way to normal calm for it to be their FIRST actual service that night not to just friends and family. I wanted to see Carmy physically walk out of the walk in, in complete embarrassment and shame over what happened. I loved episode one so much, but because it was back and forth in timelines, it make episode two confusing because there wasn't an established timeline.

and i have like some additional things about the kitchen in general. it felt off in doors? i mean like according to Natalie four of their chefs quit in the episode before hand? like... does that not mean that only Tina, Carmy, and Sydney would be cooking for an entire service? In particular their FIRST service and the ones after? it felt so strange for them to get all those actors involved and actually have some lines in season two just for them to not be there. the only thing they had was the people who take out plates but they do not speak. they never showed any wait staff and there was no hostess shown (which! i find even weirder bc carmy specifically mentions the hostess desk when talking about putting the critics photos in a binder). like babe. what hostess. where is she? In season two I thought Natalie was acting as the hostess but yeah no that did not continue. Now, I was sleep deprived while watching the show, so I think? I remember there being chefs in the background cooking that wasn't the main cast, but what makes that weird is there is no interaction with them. I know we can't see everything because the show doesn't have hour long episodes, but we saw SO MUCH in the last two episodes of season two. I know that clearly by the way the season was directed that the kitchen was suppose to be chaotic and toxic, but with the lack of staff it was just downright unbelievable at times!

2. Natalie had a BABY and we didn't see RICHIE OR CARMY, rush there after service. BUT THE FAKS DID????? bro i know Donna was there but what difference does that make. I literally cannot even remember if Carmy acknowledges he has a WHOLE NIECE now. I'm a Carmen defender and I really felt for him this whole season because he was struggling, to put it plainly. However, Sugar is literally the only sibling he has left. You're telling me he would miss seeing his niece for the first time at the hospital? Even if they just didn't show it that's still upsetting to me because that's something that SHOULD be shown. Just thinking about the show in perspective of the family dynamics, I think a scene with just him and Nat looking at her baby girl would be GUT WRENCHING. Because there's a person who should be there but isn't. They both lost a sibling, someone they grew up with, who now this little baby will never know. I could go on more about this but I cannot believe we lost the chance to see Carmy meet and hold his newborn niece.

3. fun third thing. RICHIE DIDNT GO TO THE ERAS TOUR??? he got tickets for him and eva to go! The eras tour in chicago was june 2, 3, and 4th. Now I wasn't expecting it to be a whole *thing* but I thought there would be a mention?

[yakdee]

Ramblings on Only Friends Ep. 2

Part 1/4

Again, public declarations/proposals my be-loathed

Cheum is really just here for the vibes and her friends' happiness and I love her for that

JENNY!! I mean P'YO!!! AND HER MAN!!!

This confessional is giving Reality TV vibes and I'm here for it. Although the series is fiction, it is depicting the very real lifestyles of many people in the world and it's honestly so refreshing

See? Sand gets it ... so lame

Aww, Ray ... sweetie

I'm just properly looking at the intro and god everyone looks so hot

You are so right Cheum — there is nothing hotter than someone doing or talking about something within their area of expertise

Not Mew and Top being different sides of the same coin — they both like the challenge; let's see who gives in first

Seriously, can we get Ray some help :(

Mew putting that emphasis on "my friend" oof

Ah, so Top definitely knows that Ray likes Mew

The start of Sand and Nick's bestie era; we love to see it

Mew, you're really after my heart — to tell the guy who's everyone's type that he's not YOUR type *chef's kiss*

Yes, getting Mew is about the chase and conquest BUT Top is a little out of his element bc Mew stimulates his mind AND his lions; he really ain't gonna know what hit him lol

Ray, sweetie ... why are you following this man? At this rate, you're never gonna beat the stray cat allegations

Yo 10,000 Baht is 281.21 USD???! — I would do it too for a check lol

Part 2/4

Can't even focus on the heated make out etc. bc those horns/antlers behind Nick's head were a terrible accident waiting to happen *shudders*

Nick is already so gooooone I just-

With the level of game Boston is spitting, Nick really didn't stand a chance

I want Sand's messenger bag; wonder if it'll be merch

Oooo I love the way they filmed Sand walking into Ray's sitting room; nothing like a good one-take scene

Ray's mom ... that explains so much :(

I guess this wakeboarding park is the new BL spot; first Wedding Plan and now OF lol

GO APRIL!!

Oh no Cheum :(

I'm sorry but Top diving into the water was ... LMAOOO

Gdi Boston! STAND TF UP!!! Top's not gonna pick you and no dick is worth losing a friendship over

Part 3/4

Did Boston climb the shower wall bc how the hell???

Gotta find that post that talks about red (stop), yellow (slow), and green/blue (go) being prominent colors in Mew and Top's relationship because it's really evident in this episode, ESPECIALLY in this cookie scene

Look at my boi Mew setting those boundaries iktr

Mutual mast rep? We love to see it!

But seriously Nick, I'm gonna need you to run baby

Yooo Neo's body is insane; I'm looking respectfully

Can WE see the monstera? We love a good plant tour on this side of the internet

Leaving a hot girl to go home with a hot guy; Sand is winning either way esp considering this super playful vibe Ray is putting on

Part 4/4

Sleeping pills? AND a tragic backstory?

Ngl I thought he was lying too lol ... still kinda think he's lying, but I'll let it go for now

Okay maybe he isn't lying; look at the way he's holding Mew :'(

Is that Ray and Mew in the picture? And what's with the tense, sinister bg music? Whatchu plottin' Boston?

Pansexual rep? We love to see it!

As I said last week, lighting cigarettes as a form of foreplay

Who knew a cigarette smoke kiss could be so life-changing; I am a new person

That little voice in First's head must've been going crazy during this scene lol

AND YOU'RE GONNA KEEP WANTING ME??? IKTR

At this rate, Khaotung's tattoo needs to get a separate check for it's role in this series

Oh Sand, sweetie ... the fire started when you lit that cigarette and you started playing with it the moment you accepted that smoke-filled kiss *deep sigh* you're in too deep now baby (both literally AND figuratively)

Next week is gonna be insane; see you then :)

[goldenpinof]

why? bc i was thinking about what i watch and what i'd like to see from dan, basically what you said to the previous anon. in late 2018 (at the end of the dan and phil era coincidentally) my taste shifted a lot from mostly comedy and vloggers to video essays and comentary so personally i'd love to see something like that from dan, but i have no idea what dan wants to do. what do you think he wants to do? what's something he'll find fulfilling and sustainable?

i'm going insane reading all these asks about what's next for dan's career. i lobe him i want him to succeed, i want him to get attention and i want to be entertained by him <3

me 🤝 you

sustainable? this is UNSUSTAINABLE!! (sorry, the last promo got in the eyes).

i think he wants (or wanted before wad) to get into stand-up comedy. at some point he proclaimed himself a comedian and started acting like one. unsuccessfully, in my opinion. he is a bad actor, but he is good at exaggerating his feelings. and this is why wad show worked for those who were familiar with Dan, his content, his internet personality and the phandom. i think he loves attention from real life audience, and he loves connecting to the audience while being on stage, so audience participation is an important part of what he wants. (let's count how many times i say "audience"). a not-so-strict script that allows to ask questions, react to answers, comment on people's reactions, make faces, laugh randomly, adjust the show to what is happening on stage – that's a stand-up show that hundreds of people are doing. and i think Dan would be very fucking good at it. the problem is the theme of said stand-up. and i think Dan would love for it to not rely on youtube as heavily as it did during wad (which wasn't an actual stand-up comedy).

remember the last vidcon he attended and the panel that felt like a Ted Talk? it was a fail, i'd say. partly because the audience was too diverse in a sense that phannies weren't the majority. and i'm glad he didn't push this type of career path. wad was so much better, but it was also targeted at the people who already knew him. even if in the beginning i think he was trying to get a wider audience, the lack of funding or enthusiasm promo-wise made it impossible for the "outsiders" to make the experience strange for everyone, Dan including. wad happened to be for us. but was it successful or fulfilling, or sustainable? no. not in a money / audience growth / similar future tours ways. there should be done a lot of changes. and i guess completely changing his management was the 1st and very important step. it was fulfilling in a way that he met us, he saw what his coming out did and what an incredible impact he had on us (not to mention that ii was almost the same. a bunch of gays gathered together).

he clearly wants something bigger than we aka phandom can give him. and for that he must change the theme or/and concept of his shows. i do think that he will try to do a performance again. and i hope it's gonna be less acting and more improvisation.

i'm not sure about a filmed show. he sucks as an actor, and i don't want him to fail :( but if Joey Graceffa successfully put out Escape the Night and Liza Koshy had a series that didn't require more acting than her own skits, maybe something similar could be alright?! "danisnotokay" is an outdated title though. we need to change it, he is not 25 anymore, come on.

basically, he loves attention, complaining about his life, trauma dumping, edgy jokes, screaming, laughing, sex jokes, feeling liked, loved and wanted. he fucking beams when people applaud him. and for that he needs audience. he could get all of it minus an applause with a podcast or livestreams, but he is a stubborn asshole, so i do hope to see him on stage again. preferably a smaller one and with new topics to discuss.

[torchickentacos]

Fall Out Boy concert experience!

WOO ok wanted to type this out so, one, I don't forget it all bc concert amnesia hits me hard, but two, in case anyone just wants to hear about it!!! @alonetogethermp3 I know you'll wanna hear about it! LONG POST. I warned you all.

SO! This is a venue specific thing, but parking? BAD. They have the parking dudes whose job it is to point and yell. They were not pointing OR yelling and just kinda stood there. It was way worse getting out than in but I also got there early for openers. Also venue specific, but it wasn't that accessible. I knew that going into this, though- I had been there to see P!ATD before they sucked and also I graduated there, so I was aware of this issue. Luckily it isn't that bad with a cane, and I could struggle through the stairs and lines, but god forbid I had used my walker.

I wasn't too impressed by any of the merch designs but that's also entirely personal taste, and the good stuff might have just been sold out.

But we got in alright and found a shady space for lawn seats near the back in case I had a medical issue (chronic illness in direct sun, not something you wanna be stuck in the pit for). I will say- edibles? Great from what I've heard. Bring those. Don't be that person vaping and smoking whatever the fuck at a concert. Breathing is a thing people around you tend to enjoy. Don't be that guy.

The openers were CARR (heard about 2 songs, fun and fine, kind of giving Pom Pom Squad or Gracie Abrams gone rock and slight shoegaze and recording in someone's basement /positive), Royal & the Serpent (very good, almost definitely has Bikini Kill or Hole as their inspiration, played a competent nirvana cover that I wasn't at all mad at), and Bring Me The Horizon (way better than I was expecting except for the part where he asked if we were ready to be fucked in the ass with my mom sitting next to me). He also kept telling us to get up and jump. (My friend and I started a drinking game where I took a shot of liquid iv hydration multiplier every time an opener told me to jump, something I was entirely unable to do bc POTS lmfao). They did have actual drinks everywhere- it was more alcohol than anything else, actually. My friend did get something alcoholic but apparently it kinda sucked and I wasn't missing out. I will say, this WAS somewhere that you'd have to watch your drink, though. I didn't get catcalled or anything (this time) but I did feel the need to be on alert and I'd advise others to do the same at any concert, honestly, but especially one as packed as this one was.

I spent a lot of the opener time laying down in the grass because of the heat, but it did cool down nicely and most non-chronically ill people seemed to be fine with the heat. Also, I think it was Pete Wentz around the opening who told the crowd that if they saw anyone struggling with the heat or crowds or anything at all to let security know, and I loved that they seemed to be very conscientious of crowd safety (but it didn't get that wild honestly, pretty chill crowd but not to the point of being a dead crowd. Good in-between).

By the time FOB took the stage, it was sunset- really pretty, no pictures of that though bc phone storage and I was too busy talking to my friend.

The stage was really good- I ADORED that it was seemingly modeled after the album cover of From Under The Cork Tree. Here, have the world's blurriest picture of it below. The circle would show an 8-ball every so often, and it had a spinning globe for Hold Me Like A Grudge ("the world is always spinning and I can't keep up" lyric reference I imagine)! It had a ton of fun details like that that seemed to correlate to the songs. I also noticed a lot of clock motifs and ticking time, which... if I had a nickel each time a major 2023 concert tour had a clock motif (eras tour too, which I am not going to because I don't feel like fist-fighting a shady facebook marketplace reseller for a ticket), 2 nickels, etc. Also kinda funny bc they released a song together recently but I'm getting way off topic.

The sound quality was AMAZING, and while my pictures all suck, I could see a decent amount even when laying down and tired (though I had to peer through the sea of asses and vape/weed smoke). They had a few big screens that seemed pretty well-focused on Patrick and Pete (but also Joe sometimes). They weren't the most talkative but when they did, it felt so genuine and endearing- a bit awkward, but it really did feel like they wanted us to feel like they were talking to US and not just to a crowd. Patrick and Pete were so nice and just... real-feeling. I couldn't catch a lot of what they said, though- a bit mumbly. Pete was wearing a rose themed mesh shirt and a skirt, I'm pretty sure, which I loved. FOB, MCR, I love whatever the fuck popular former emo bands are doing with gender nonconformity these days. Keep that up.

Now. The songs. Bit of personal lore here, but I went with a friend I've known since like 2012/13, and we had been to this venue together around 2015?? for a show. Because of that, I was SO FUCKING EMOTIONAL when they played Bang the Doldrums. I know that thematically the entire thing doesn't quite fit, nor would I quite want it to, but I found a certain irony and amusement in singing some of the lyrics with my friend next to me.

AND OH MY G O S H. THE ACOUSTIC 'NOBODY PUTS BABY IN THE CORNER'. I was fucking blessed. My favorite album/EP of theirs is probably My Heart Will Always Be the B-Side to my Tongue, which is an acoustic EP, and so they played that song in the version I adored most. Though, I can't in good faith choose a single favorite album/EP.

AND WINONA!!!!!!!!! WE GOT SHE'S MY WINONA. I could NOT have asked for a better setlist. I also love that they played a good amount from Take This To Your Grave (AND ENDED ON SATURDAY!!!). Hot take? Could have done with a bit more MANIA but I get why they didn't, but The Last of the Real Ones was a GOOD CHOICE (another one I had Big Emotions about). The only songs I would have loved that I didn't get were The (Shipped) Gold Standard and GINASFS, but I would have cried my damn makeup off so it's probably for the best that I didn't get to sing 'I wanna scream 'I love you' at the top of my lungs but I'm afraid that someone else will hear me' or 'trade baby blues for wide-eyed browns' or literally any other line of GINASFS. But if I get into that then y'all are gonna learn more about my emotional state than I care for lmfao. My blog is...not-irrelevant enough that I don't want to get too specific in case someone I know finds it, because while I don't know if my friends use tumblr, they're certainly the type (queer and neurodivergent lol, birds of a feather and all).

And THAT'S what makes the concert and FOB as a band special to me, though- it was a good show but it was a personal experience. I cannot separate the show from the emotions I went through for the company I was with that FOB's lyrics evoked. And if we were to crash and burn, then that also means that the memory of this concert will be forever stained by the things I felt now due to their inextricable nature. But that's the risk you take when you enjoy something because of someone's presence and associated emotions, and it's a risk I'll continue to take because there's no use living life held-back and scared of eventual regret. Enjoy the moment and everything you feel then and there.

It wasn't just a show that would be a replicable experience. Their lyrics and performance invoked those emotions in a really special way, and I was just FEELING the entire concert. Maybe I'm over-emotional or too sentimental or can't move on from an embarrassingly long and futile crush BUT I would not trade that for anything. It was an EXPERIENCE, not just good music, though it was that, too. And I think they delivered that in a very FOB-unique way that other bands might not have been able to.

It was just a very open vibe when they took the stage. They sang with earnest and genuine feeling and LOVE, and I think that spreads to the audience. Every show has a specific vibe. Live music feeds off of audience and band alike, and the energy was just vulnerable and wonderful at this concert, and you can tell they wanted to foster that experience.

Ultimately, emotional vulnerability is what FOB is built off of. Like their music or not, from even their first few albums, they had that deeper emotional touch to them. You could hear the spite, the yearning, the apathy or the jealousy in each line recorded. Their lyrics are founded on emotion as opposed to storytelling or even clarity (some songs, I have no idea what specifically they're on about but it makes me feel things anyways). And that rang true tonight as well, on stage and in the audience.

[daydadahlias]

Bestie did you make the post about ashton hugging with his fists closed (or was it michael when hugging ash?) if yes, do you have any updates now that we have a whole tour of post show hugs under our belts

that WAS me bestie! I assume you're referencing my two little mashton hug analysis posts <3 and i am more than happy to pop off again about my Thoughts on the way Ashton hugs.

so buckle up for this one bc this is gonna be a jessay

Just as a little refresher, in my previous "hug analysis," I talk about how when Michael hugs Ashton, he always used to hug him with his fists closed and often with only one arm. From what we've learned in the past, Ashton is not a very touchy guy. He's referenced previously that he didn't participate in the band cuddles when they were young and also isn't the biggest fan of hugs/cuddling in general; he isn't into physical affection.

This is important to note in reference to the way that Michael hugs him because Michael is always very aware of this. Ashton doesn't like hugs so Michael doesn't hug him in the way he hugs Luke and Calum who both love physical affection. He hugs with his fists closed and one arm usually so that way, Ashton has a lot of space and opportunity to "escape" the hug if need be. Michael is very careful not to trap him. However, as you pointed, we got a ton of post-show hug content this year and that's not something that we usually saw w/ Ash in the past!

I was just thinking about this the other day, funnily enough, that Ashton suddenly decided during this promo/tour cycle that he really liked physical affection. There were multiple times during shows - and even in press - where he actively sought out physical affection from the guys.

This moment, for instance, really stood out to me.

This is behavior from Ash that we didn't really see prior to 2022! There's so much physical affection in just this one frame! He's leaning his head on Cal's shoulder, touching him on his knee, and also letting Calum lean closer to him and hold his head. He doesn't seem put off by the affection at all whereas, in previous videos we've seen of Ash, he can sometimes physically lean away from touch (as the Ashton connoisseur I am, I've also noticed that he's actually a very jumpy guy and there are several instances I've seen of him flinching away from people when they get close without his prior knowledge). But now, we see a big change from him in this era where he is the one who is trying to get physical attention.

For obvious reasons, I think quarantine is to blame for this newfound behavior. From what we've heard from Ash, quarantine was a great but also rough time for him. He was able to write his album and really tap into certain parts of his creative process but was also going pretty stir-crazy and wasn't able to do the things he often relies on for peace/happiness. Over the years, we have seen that Ash thrives from social interaction. He loves connecting with people. And I assume that quarantine was especially hard on him seeing as he is an extrovert who craves that connection and no longer has access to it. Taking this into account, I think his newfound desire to be physically close with people makes a lot of sense!

I think that over quarantine, after not having the opportunity to hug/touch his best friends (who are all very touch-prone people), he realized he didn't want to have that taken away again. He realized the benefits of touching his friends as now he knows what it's like to not be able to.

However, all this being said, Ash still hugs in a similar way to how he used to. Even though Ash is the shortest in the band, he makes active effort to be the "dominant" one in a hug, always being the one to hug the guys over their shoulders. You will never find a 5sos hug photo where Ashton is the one hugging from the bottom. Even if this means standing on his tippy-toes or the other guys leaning down for him, Ash will always hug from above.

I think this pretty clearly shows Ashton's inherent desire to be a protector/caretaker for his friends/little brothers. He doesn't let them take care of him nor does he let them take him into a hug. He always wants to be the one to invite them in, and to hold onto them. And I also think this showcases a lot of discomfort from him still to be the one who gets comforted rather than comforts. He pretty obviously does not like being "trapped" in a hug.

The only person he lets hug him from above, actually, from what I've seen, is John Feldmann. I think I've talked about this before somewhere but I find this especially noteworthy because Feldy is one of the few parental figures in Ashton's life who actively sought to take care of him rather than sort of... rely on him as a crutch? Obviously, I don't wanna speculate, but Ashton has talked about it in many interviews that he felt very responsible when he was younger for his mom/siblings. He never really got taken care of as a kid. But Feldy was an adult in his life that did seek to provide for him and help him and treat him like someone who was younger and deserved to be given that guidance. And, of course, Ash loves him. They clearly have a really incredible bond like Feldy does w/ all the guys. So it's notable to me that Feldy is the only person Ash lets hug him from above because he's one of the few people in Ashton's life that he doesn't feel a responsibility to protect.

[gracefullou]

Hope this is okay to send you! As a new louis fan I didnt even realise there was a streaming event for the first away from home, I watched it the other day and omg it was so good!!!! I also didn't realise how expressive Louis' face is when he sings!!! I've watched quite a few livestreams this year and you obviously don't always get a clear picture and I was far away at my gig but it was so fun to see!!!

And when he said "what the fuck was I worried about?!" I was so proud like "go louis!!!"

Also made me want that 28 clothing green Jersey, even more lol. (I'm currently rewatching AOTV bc my dvd arrived today and also want that 3/4 zip he wore at his first US show back (dallas?))

Do you have a favourite moment from the AFHF21 stream? (And are there any other big things I should know about and watch? Can't believe I didn't know I could watch it!! 🤣)

Hi Anon! Welcome to the fandom ❤️ and of course it's ok, i love these kind of asks! Afhf21 is just so special to my heart. I was missing him so much and then he came up with a free festival as his first live show since the pandemic, looking like a dream wearing his self designed beautiful jersey (iconic!), singing his heart out 🥹. It was just so good. There are so many moments that i absolutely love from the streaming event like the sweet moment with his grandparents after the show, that scene when he was stress cleaning, his scenes with Helene (love he actually cares about his vocal performance and works on it he even had a vocal coach with him on tour and how he doesn't shy away from being vulnerable and actually shows us how nervous he was before the show), and of course his actual performance ❤️. I'm so bad at recommendations 😭 and tbh Louis' career was kind of held on pause for a long time so there wasn't a lot of content before walls' tour (right now is the best time to be a louie bc we have enough content, i can't tell you how hard it was to be a louie before walls' release 😭). Anyway, i think the other big thing that happened besides releasing his albums and tours is the live from London streaming show so if you haven't already, i'd recommend watching it (it's available on YouTube). You can watch the igtvs from ltwt too. These next ones are not big things that happened but interviews of his that i love like his breaking down walls interview he did for walls (it's up on his YouTube channel), the track by track for walls the album and for fitf. I love his interviews with Zach Sang and the fun ones like the ladbible ones and the wired interview. The GQ one (i think it's called actually me) he did from walls era and that la resistencia interview are one of my favorites i'm obsessed so you can watch those if you haven't already 🤗. You have THE aotv dvd (which also has bty studio version and fitf bonus tracks) i'm so jealous but good for you! What a nice thing to have 😍. And saw him live in concert ! You're living the dream ❤️. Also, you're absolutely right about the 3/4 zip he wore at Dallas, it's one of my favorites and i don't see enough appreciation for her 😒, if you want to and can afford it, you should get one when they release it, it's so pretty. If you don't mind me asking, when and how did you become a fan? And what are your favorite walls and fitf songs?

[x-liv25-jamieswife]

avery and libby head canons

omg i literally can't stop posting. pls stop me it's an addiction.

avery and libby rewatch gilmore girls every fall bc it used to be avery's mom's favorite show

after avery's mom died, they both dyed their hair purple (i made a post about this) libby's head was fully purple and avery dyed the bottom half of her hair purple (idrk how to explain).

they love to complain with to each other about their bfs shenanigans

before avery inherited the money, they used to go out and drive around silently. that's how they would relax/decompress

they watched the first seasons of greys anatomy (the ones that were actually good) when they had nothing to do.

avery and libby go on monthly trips together (might just be somewhere in the us, or in europe like greece)

after libby's honeymoon, avery and her celebrated her new beginning by going to spain or smth (just the two of them) (nash did the same thing with his brothers)

they both have plenty of embarrasing stories about one another, so when one does smth that pisses the other off, the other will go tell one of those stories to the brothers.

during the eras tour, avery and libby (and literally all the hawthornes and rebecca) sang and cried to tolerate it (they all somehow relate to it; avery and libby with their dad, the hawthornes with their dads etc)

they really enjoyed the lover set

one of their surprise songs was clean and libby got really emotional so avery and her just sat there hugging.

they vibed so hard to midnights

when avery was younger, she used to love love story cause she wished someday she would have her own romeo. she was so obsessed with the song that she literally had a love story inspired birthday. when love story came on during the eras tour libby teased her so hard (avery was a hopeless romantic when she was younger but then realized how shitty the world was and lost hope in ever finding love)

avery and her mom used to love easter cause they both loved chocolate. whenever easter comes around, libby makes sure to buy avery a hug basket of chocolates that they eat together whilst talking shit about people.

bc they were so poor before, they never really got to buy each other birthday/christmas gifts, so, now that avery has money, they always spend thousands of dollars on each other

libby hates valentine's day bc of drake so she doesn't really like going on dates with nash on that day (they go either before or after, they have their own day that nash calls valentines (nash's version)) so avery always brings her out to shop. they then proceed to trash talk drake and other people. one year they even ended up getting drunk, and jamie and nash were so surprised cause they aren't the type of people to get drunk.

avery used to have a roblox bf when she was like 7-8, so libby always teases her about him (he actually ended up being like a 40 year old predator).

libby and her both love shoes so they always go out shoe shopping. grayson sometimes tags along cause he loves fashion.

thats it for now. i actually didn't expect to have so many ideas for them and might make a part two. avery and libby have such a great bond. i wish we saw more of them during the og trilogy. (again sorry for any spelling mistakes, i'm to lazy to proof read this)

[hopeurokays]

WENT AND SAW THE ERAS TOUR MOVIE LIKE AN HOUR AGO AND AHHHHHHHHHH. IT WAS SO GOOD (spoilers under the cut)

so my movie theater didn't have popcorn buckets bc their shipment is currently lost

but i got a cup and a poster

i planned on making like 50 bracelets but ended up only making like 20

which is good though cause pretty much nobody had bracelets to trade

i traded 1 and gave out all but 2

i don't know how people don't cry the entire concert

bc i almost cried several times during the movie so the actual concert i think would have me dead

so now im gonna go by era and discuss it

lover:

the opening made me cry

i whisper sung the beginning bc it was still kinda awkward and nobody else was singing loud

until the cruel summer bridge

then we all sung it loud

i LOVE the man and loved getting to see the things i hadn't noticed from tiktok (like the specific dance moves, etc)

the man and lover also made me cry a bit

im so upset she cut the archer

its not even my favorite song or anything but still

fearless:

iconic guitar spins 🫶🏻

everyone did the heart hands, it was so sweet

it was so cute seeing her band sing with her, they're adorable

fearless spins made me cry

love story almost made me bawl, but i held it together

i can remember being in kindergarten and saying my favorite song was love story so thinking about that made me want to sob

evermore:

THEY CUT NO BODY NO CRIME

i was so excited when i realized it was filmed

and then SHE CUT IT

anyways

marjorie made me cry

tolerate it was a materpiece (as expected)

so was champagne problems

reputation:

honestly no words

look what you made me do honestly almost made me cry

when all the other taylors were in the boxes

but still it was all soooooo good

speak now:

enchanted made me tear up

im so glad she wore the purple dress for filming

SHE CUT LONG LIVE 😭😭😭

ik it's the perfect end credit song but still

we wouldn't mind to hear it again

will forever be upset

red:

ngl 22 got me

it was the only one that made me cry

and like i cried like a baby when she gave the 22 hat

i expected it to be kobe bryant's daughter, but it still got it

i was bawling in my seat

but then the rest was really nice

i loved screaming atw

folklore:

ive never seen video of her performing the 1 all the way through and loved it

also betty made me cry

but betty was the first song off folklore id ever heard and was made me listen to her new music so it holds a special place in my heart

also there was a little girl who got up during betty and started dancing, like throwing arms above her head and everything

and she did that for most of folklore

she was a mood tbh

I CANT BELIEVE SHE CUT CARDIGAN

WHYYYYYY

1989:

none of these made me cry, i was too busy dancing lol

they were all really fun

i loved the clubs smashing the car

also i love that she wore the pink one

i just like that outfit best

surprise songs:

i can't say im surprised it was our song and yoyok

and i absolutely loved them

but i was really hoping she would find a way to put all of the songs she sung in la on there

especially you are in love

i wouldve cried and died and just stayed there forever

but yoyok made me cry during the bridge

midnights:

i LOVE the purple jacket/dress combo

kinda freaked out when i realized id have to sit beside my mom during vigilante shit...

but she didn't say anything

i loved the vibes of this era too

other/end credits:

the bracelet part was so cute and clever

and i love the fan moments/bloopers

i do kinda wish the credits would've been styled more like rep tour's was

i also loved the transitions to each era and the text for the album name

it was all really cute

and i loved how taylor was still being goofy

i was worried it wouldn't be as silly as the shows usually are

but im glad it was, it made it feel more authentic

also the quality of everything was SO good

overall i loved it and if you're debating on going just do it (im thinking about going with my friends to watch it a 2nd time...). I'd give it like 1000/10 tbh

[explosionshark]

uhh what's your top 3 fave shows you've ever been to

THIS is tough to answer bc I've been going to shows for like. 18 years. But uh hmmm. Unranked

Joyce Manor/AJJ/Toys That Kill - saw these guys two nights in a row at the Regent Theater in January like 2018 or 2017? I remember bc since I couldn't drive myself I got dropped off, booked a shabby motel room for the night, Uber'd both nights. It was Friday the 13th the night I stayed over so I got back from the show and laid in bed watching a movie marathon lmao. But the show was killer, Phoebe Bridgers came out during "Do You Really Wanna Not Get Better?" in the JM set. I was up at the barrier for the whole show, got crawled on and sweated on and kicked in the head. Sang myself hoarse. Did it all again the second night. Love both JM and AJJ so much and that was during the peak of my love for both of them - completely and totally life affirming.

Taking Back Sunday and Coheed played this one tour together. Outdoor summer amphitheatre sort of thing. Once again managed to get way up close. Killer setlists for both bands, very nostalgic, sounded great. Once again hollered myself hoarse. Getting to scream along to IKSSE3 songs and Tell All Your Friends songs in the same night was so fucking fun.

One time I got to see Every Time I Die play a double set. They were doing a one-off night in the middle of a larger tour, Low Teens era (my favorite album!), couldn't or didn't get an opener so they just played two back to back sets in this tiny fuckin room for an amped crowd and that band is always amazing but they were on fuckin FIRE that night

Cheating, adding one more, but when I saw Tigers Jaw last time they were doing an anniversary tour for the S/T record and they were at this tiny punk venue in Orange County. The room was PACKED maybe a little more rowdy than the material demanded, but it was genuinely amazing to hear the ENTIRE crowd in that small-ass room shouting every line to every song at the top of their lungs. Killer night. I watch the video I recorded of "Never Saw It Coming" a few times a year and I always get choked up