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inkskinned · 2 years

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probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.

we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."

at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.

the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.

the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.

what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.

here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.

#this is true #writeblr #warm up #relatedly for some reason one of our Favorite Jokes #amongst the Siblings #is like - ''this is so good u will love it''#while we are reacting to something we OBVIOUSLY find viscerally disgusting #like we will be actively retching and be like ''nooooo it's so good''#to the point that i sometimes get nervous if someone outside my family is like oh u should try it its good #(obvi we never force each other to eat anything. we are all just curious birds and #like. we're GONNA try the new thing.)#edit to answer why we had so much vanilla:#my mom is a very good cook and we LOVE to bake. so she just had a lot of staples in the house.#it's one of those things that's like. have u ever continuously thought ''ah i should get butter im probably out''#even tho u are not out of butter. so u end up with like 5 years of butter.#my mom would do that in a costco but like with vanilla extract #to be fair we WERE always using WAY TOO MUCH bc we were kids #so like she was right to stock up #ps. yes we were VERY sick after this lol i just didn't want to include it in the post in case ppl had an ick about that #u can tell it's real bc we knew "oh no we fucked up that's too much vanilla to waste'' but our reaction was to just. keep drinking it #> sibling understanding that vanilla extract isn't free > knowledge mother doesnt mind if we use it for milkshakes #> sibling choice to maybe get in a loophole of ''not wasting it'' if we drink it bc that's the same as using it (not throwing it out)#listen bud i was like 13 and my sister was like 9 #when my mom discovered this we. got in. A LOT. of trouble. a lot of it. a LOT of it.#3rd edit bc i guess it isn't clear - i am 1 of my brother's 2 little sisters #i am the middle child #out of all the ways i have had to explain a post before being like ''did u forget a middle child can happen'' is my favorite

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 3 days

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...Turns out gay sex actually was the solution.

(This is basically a redraw, come read the real deal over at Tiger Tiger)

#tiger tiger #jamis arlesi #arno #I like to think Arno meant that as an inside thought but it came out as an outside thought. He's rolling with it though.#He did cause a Catastrophic Yaoi event though.#Jamis my beloved. You have the heart of a maiden. The body of an Ox. The brain of a loyal dog.#This is a guy who's okay being attracted to another man but *NOT* aware he's in love or that he's bisexual.#We love him for this. My god. This man is crafted so perfectly. I need you all to at least give Tigers a chance for *him*.#I'm tricking you a little bit because you will actually also fall for Ludo and Luck and Remy and Honeyfoot and-#okay you get the point. There are so many amazing characters in this comic.#I just.. my joke comic of 'gay sex is the solution' feels so ominous now knowing a few weeks later that was going to be canon.#I feel like a jester and a prophet. I don't know if I should tell anymore jokes in fear of what I may predict.#I am putting my hands together for Ludo to get a good smooch in with [redacted] in dragon form.#Also predicting something very spooky is going to go down with the diving bell. We shall see!

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sophfandoms53 · 28 days

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Im fucking crying why did he say this, bro has never been outside before😭😭

#homophobe /j #IM JOKING BUT SHADOW AKSKSKSKSKW #THE JUDGEMENT IS CRAZYY #goes outside once and he’s like ?? what are colors #he’s looking at them like they all aren’t aliens and its killing me #ONE OF THEM IS LITERALLY YOUR SPECIES SHADOW PLS LMAO #shadow honey i love you #never change #sonic the hedgehog #shadow the hedgehog #sonic movie #sonic movie 2 #sonic movie 3 #sonic movie 3 trailer

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gammija · 6 months

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the real reason tmagp is on break 'til april 11th is so sam can observe ramadan without being chased by a murderous clown blob

#tmagp #tmagp s1 #tmagp spoilers #the Magnus protocol #if for some islam-related reason this joke doesn't work plz tell me - i was thinking. i would like to see some content #exploring/including sam possibly being muslim considering his name and VAs ethnicity #and what better way to support that than make it myself?#joos yaps #samama #samama khalid #tmagp sam #but i am v much an outsider so lmk if i missed something #tbf. i cannot think of any way this could be somehow misconstrued. but you dont know what you dont know!

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uncanny-tranny · 10 months

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It's honestly frustrating that I've seen non-Russian queer people almost bragging about how they would be illegal in Russia, labeled an extremist or terrorist. Russian queers are in danger, their government has made it clear where it stands, and it's made this effort for the better part of a decade (even longer, perhaps). This will kill people, don't mistake this for a quirky little proclamation from a government, akin to somebody saying the sky is pink. Russian queer people were already expressing their fear, and the least we can do now is express our love for them, and advocate with them.

Russian queer people, I love you. I love you all so much. I am so sorry, I cannot begin to express the grief that I feel, and I hope that you are safe. Words cannot encapsulate how I feel as a non-Russian, and I cannot hope to comprehend how it feels to actually be in this situation.

#queer #lgbt #lgbtq #ofc this has been brewing for a long time and it has been really troubling to say the very LEAST #honestly i have seen russian queers joke about the situation which feels different. honestly it's almost admirable #i just can't find it funny to see non-Russians do it simply because the threat of prosecution or death for people is too high in my mind #it feels almost voyeuristic when non-russians joke like that to me #like i've joked about the state of (us)american queer rights when it feels too bleak but i live here #i guess when people only joke about it it tells me they don't think it's a big deal or that it won't affect queer people...#...because it won't affect them as an outsider likely #it's just shitty. all around. and it's the type of thing that i'm not sure what to do #queerphobia #queerphobia tw

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maskofnova · 6 months

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The other homestuck post I had in me, its the year of the cringe weirdo couple, my beloveds.

#homestuck #meowrails #meowrail #equius zahhak #nepeta leijon #its pale romance hours #i hated them in the comic when i started but now i would kill for them #homestuck did em dirty #but thats what fanfic and fanart is for #even though there is shockingly little of either for them and it makes me so so so sad #relegated to background characters only #i cant fully blame them though like equius is the worst but ive come to like him when i think of him outside of his joke aspects #hes the definition of crack taken seriously #mogs art

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erinwantstowrite · 8 days

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will peter be like an older brother to miles in lof ?

absolutely he is

there's about an 11 year difference between them (Miles is 14, Peter is 25), so it's a lot more like the older brother type of relationship that Peter has with Tim (despite Tim being his uncle). Peter has mentored(ish) other young heroes by this point (mostly in the Bats' universe) but since Miles is another Spider-Man, Peter takes up most of the responsibility in making sure Miles is safe and teaching him the ropes. That's HIS sassy child genius, thank you, and he's not a sidekick, he's Spider-Man.

He was also adamant that Miles tell his parents immediately, and gets along great with Rio and Jeff.

Which is HILARIOUS to me because at this point in time, Peter has built up a persona for the public eye just like the Bats did. In Rio and Jeff's eyes, they're gobsmacked that the clumsy, scatterbrained, and "scaredy-cat" kid that Tony Stark adopted a while ago is Spider-Man. (Technically, none of this is a lie. Because Peter is a terrible liar unless it's For the Jokes, and often comes across this way even if he hadn't meant to.) They're wondering how he pulled that off since he's the same age as Spider-Man, who is known to be an Avenger, and associates in the same circles as Peter. It helps that Peter and Spider-Man have been in a social media war, and that Peter works at the Daily Bugle that is known for disliking Spider-Man. Peter's been taking lessons for years atp to keep his identity safe. Which is also bonus points to Peter, because the two can tell that secret identities mean everything to him, but he told them who he was in a heartbeat (literally the very first thing he did when he found Miles).

In other words: Peter was ecstatic to become a teacher for his own matching superhero kid and it's one of the most important bonds in his life. That's his baby brother now!!

#erinwantstowrite #ao3 #ao3 fanfic #leap of faith ao3 #peter parker #leap of faith catch me if you can #leap of faith #miles morales #peter parker is a GOOD mentor #a great one even #he takes that shit so seriously despite it looking like he's always just telling jokes from an outside perspective #you know those folders you go home with when you're a kid #the ones where your teacher puts stickers and talks about how your day/week went and your homework #peter has one of those that's really just a journal written to make it look like miles is taking after school classes with him at SI #and miles has to give it to his parents to look over #“You got three gold stars today!”#“yeah 'cause i didn't get blown up :)”#“that's my boy!”#rio was like “wtaf” at first but she quickly was like “oh so if anyone is gonna help miles stay alive it's this kid”#thank you for the ask!

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jack-the-fool · 7 months

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realization.jpeg

#i'd imagine this happens relatively early like act 2 shenanigans #something about being able to spot things as an outside observer but fully oblivious when you're directly involved #isat #in stars and time #isat spoilers #isat siffrin #isat isabeau #isat loop #isafrin #technically spoilers since you'd need the twohats ending to fully get the joke #jack.txt #jack.png

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starfall-isle · 2 years

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Rouge takes one day trip with Team Sonic

#sonic prime #sonic #rouge the bat #art tag #jokes aside I’m so so excited rouge is finally getting a main character role it’s all I’ve wanted forever #and like the idea she’ll get more dialogue and stuff to do outside of how sparingly she’s been used in the games lately #makes me so happy #especially considering how much she’s tossed into the villain/antihero category alongw the rest of team dark #//#eye strain

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sunburstsandmoonshadows · 1 year

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it remains extremely funny to me that freddie wong accidentally (?) made Dan Fucks, embodiment of pleasure, so distinctly ace-coded. like, Dan talks a big game about sex and seems to view it as interesting and desirable, but when presented with such an obvious in for it he completely ignored Avaricci's come-ons to just talk about non-sexual pleasures like goddamn cold pillows. he's not paying attention to sex at all when it's not personally convenient or expected of him to do so.

100% Elias is ace and just doesn't realize people genuinely crave sex and it's not a metaphor or exaggeration like it is for him yet. bless him.

#mentopolis #and thats that from a local ace #i say ''accidentally'' since ofc i dont know freddie's thought process #most likely he was just trying to avoid getting too outright crude on the show #or thought going on about pillows and haircuts would be the funnier option than playing the horniness straight #but in-universe it paints him as only vaguely invested in actually achieving the goal of having sex #which means elias doesnt really care that much about sex #outside of cultural pressure to have it and its status as an easy in-road to physical contact #which he does desperately crave #plus its known that ace people are the most willing to make a joke out of sex lmao

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tricodekus · 7 days

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baby fever

#this was supposed to be a joke where hinata asks this crazy question out of nowhere in front of everybody but i drew them outside #like that and i was like ugh it doesnt fit the tone anymore really theyre just sweet #but hinata finally got his answer lmfaoooo #(he was hoping baby would be blond)#tsukihina #art #fanart #hinata shoyo #tsukishima kei #haikyu #haikyuu!!#haikyuu #comic #comic style

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shootingstarrfish · 9 months

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can we make belphebatos a thing /hj

based on these chat screenshots which i got from here!!!! thank you op <3

#obey me #shitpost #obey me art #obey me nightbringer #belphegor #barbatos #belphebatos #belphegor x barbatos #barbatos x belphegor #this is mostly a joke but i think it would be funny #hashtag ironic i square #i dont really ship any om ships outside vaguely liking solodeus so this is hilarious to me

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 9 months

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At the start of this project all I wanted was to 'learn how to draw' using comics as a medium and the MDZS audio drama as inspiration.

I've come *very* far from making simple, 3 panel black and white comics, and I truly do intend to go even further. Thank you to everyone who cheered me on throughout 2023, it has been an incredible year in so many ways I never could have imagined. I look forwards to drawing throughout 2024 B*)

#poorly drawn mdzs #art summary #It's so interesting looking back at how my style and technique changed throughout the year!#I used PD-wwx as the consistent factor (October is an exception) and you can see so many processes going on.#My little petri dish amoeba (with a little red bow to tell him apart from the other amoeba) <3 #Whether it's getting new markers or trying out a new shading style - it's cool seeing a snapshot of my journey like this B*)#There's certainly been a slower curve to my overt improvement *but* I have become so much faster!#My life outside of drawing has been hectic and at several points extremely stressful this year. For all the work this blog has been-#-It has truly been a life saving anchor when the darkest of times have hit.#Love is hard work. Change is even harder work. Sticking to a goal I set out for myself and striving to keep going was worth it.#And I love drawing. I think there has always been something in me that longed for this. And it is finally tangible! I can draw!!!#I wanted to make a more elaborate year reflection where I looked back at my favourite comics and jokes.#but I'll leave that to the one year anniversary.#I have also been collecting a ton of statistics throughout the year and I am desperate to share them. I'm that kind of nerd B*)#I can never say it enough: Thank you all for the kindness and support. I wish everyone a lovely 2024!!!

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bluerasbunny · 23 days

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a bit of audience participation can go a long way!