#like someone who loves you and understands you despite all your wrong doings and flaws

[eir-trixa]

WOTTG SPOILERS AFTER THE CUT

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Can you believe Rick is validating me in my Percy-is-the-most-empathic-character take? I have legal basis but boi does it feel nice to have canon confirmation.

Second that book was short af I got the gist of it all while reading for like an hour.

Third, we addressed everyone else’s trauma. Percy’s still the group therapist LMAO 😭😭😭

Fourth, my son is such a good kid yall, this is why I lose five years of my life when someone insults or when he insults himself jfc my child.

Im honestly still processing and I have to reread the ending. Did it address Percy’s issues? Im going to go with “a bit” and call it a night. I mean, I guess it did? Percy got to unload and help Gale and Hecuba. We got an insight to how he’s managing to stay up and fighting and good despite all the shit he’s put into. Honestly the fact that he saw the humanity in Gale and Hecuba, that he saw their pain and grief and thats what made them trust him, that is so good. And the way he related to them. Goodness. And it highlights again how good a person he is, how much he feels and cares. I mean, he cried cause he had to send Mrs O Leary away, I cant with this kid-

I supposed what Im left unsatisfied with is how he still perceives himself as dumb? Baby, you survived San Fran for two months as a homeless kid without memories and pursued by different monsters who cant die. Youre the furthest thing from dumb.

He cant see this of course and while it was slightly addressed(?) by Annabeth telling him to his face that she doesnt give him enough credit, that he’s pretty smart, I dont think thats enough for addressing this particular issue. There was a time in the middle that he almost snapped because he thought Annabeth probably thinks him too dumb to know what to do next. Which I understand is frustrating to him. But to be fair this book made him look at Annabeth for a solution a lot. Theres also little comments about how when he cant think of anything - which is every 60 seconds apparently according to him- he looks at Annabeth. This doesnt help the co dependent allegations LMAO. Idk, I will die on the Hill that Percy is one of the smartest people in the series, not just emotionally but also in strategy. And theres, of course, nothing wrong with looking at the genius strategist for answers. Ive mixed feelings because definitely this is more of a Percy-insecurity issue than an Annabeth-being-bossy issue. But okay. One more book, heres to hoping we get more heart to heart on that front because Im 999998% sure she doesnt mean to make him feel stupid, Percy’s just got a lot of demons to fight but this in particular they need to figure out together. Still, its obvious how much they care for each other still. If only Dave and Hana did not piss me off at the start Id probably be a little more lenient about this.

Annabeth’s fatal flaw also makes a comeback, we love to see it.

And Sally Estelle Jackson. Now we have to find out wth is Percy’s middle name cause if Sally has one odds are she gave her son too. Trust me. Im Filipino. Iykyk.

Lastly, while I will forever and ever and ever support the trio from pjotv (theyre perfect and have done nothing wrong ever) I can see Rick’s injecting their personalities into the books. Im not sure if he does this on purpose or just subconsciously LMAO. Some of Grover’s dialogue is definitely inspired by Aryan. Percy being Lanky? Walker through and through, especially with his growth spurt lmao, and Annabeth’s confidence? All Leah. I can see what Rick’s trying to do. Ive no opinion on this, just pointing it out. I do love love love the live action. Just. I can see you Rick. You aint slick.

So there. I probably would need to reread the book properly at some point.

[averagelonelypotato]

What’s your fav ship in Gintama? (Aside from Utsuro/Oboro that I may or may not manipulate you from liking?)

hehe I think my main ships are anyone with gintoki tbh 😭

anyone who makes gintoki happy tbh if i really thing about it

but i shall list my fav ships (not ranked, they are literally just Gintoki ships 🫠 )

Poly joui4, just all the bros together🫶

Sakagin🫶

Hijigin

bantaka my beloved 🥺

gintoki and tsukuyo

whatever zenzou and saachan have going on 🥺

Zuragin

sakazura

takazura

sakataka, takasaka??? (hehe it sounds funny)

Kyuubei and otae 

takagin or gintaka (same thing tbh idk why spell it's differently)

Hijikata and Mitsuba 🥺 (it's just pure angst)

ik it's not a ship but sometimes the vibes between Otae and Kondo are so soft 🥺 so i think about them sometimes 🫣

gintoki x happiness (rare but my fav ship)

gintoki and hasegawa (they really are bros, sometimes bros share a bed and a drink to cope with losing at pachinko but the feels they have 🤝)

also shoutout to all the amazing people who make any gintama fics/fanart/content and stuff, y'all the main reason we get to eat so good with the stuff you guys create 🫶

[dunmesh]

okay i don't have anything smart to add i just genuinely love that these seemingly trivial jokes are actually an important part of his character. we see it throughout the entire manga, how he pushes aside his own frustration and discomfort to accommodate everyone else's and avoid needless confrontation- another example off the top of my head would be the barometz chapter in which he slowly gets frustrated with izutsumi but still tries his best to talk some sense into her calmly and soundly.

and in contrast, there are very few times he expresses his anger and hurt towards others, and it usually takes a lot for him to finally lose his patience and control.

i mean, even with kabru he tried to be polite despite the circumstances until the guy said the one thing that triggers an immense sense of shame, hurt and rage in laios. and you know, the manga does say it quite clearly early on. when we are introduced to namari and then to shuro, laios acts all friendly and shows his respect and trust in them despite how things ended between them, and everyone else gets frustrated with him for acting so strange- why are you the one who tries so hard to pacify the rest when you should be the angriest?

and they don't understand him. they don't know him well enough to be able to understand, but we as readers get to see during the manga that they aren't wrong to question him- he does, in fact, feel all those ugly emotions. and it's when the winged lion finally confronts him that we see to what extent these feelings he buried so deep go, and suddenly all those funny little moments where he sometimes pretends to be mr nice guy speak volumes about his character. honestly, ryoko kui is a master at using jokes in order to define important character traits and this one doesn't fail to amaze me.

and laios's hatred and rage and deep scars he can't get over aren't shown explicitly during most of these moments i mentioned before, but now you realize there are 26 years of emotional baggage to all of them and they sting. he is angry but he can't say shit, what difference would it make? it won't make his friends choose him instead of themselves when he needed them most, and it won't help his party get any farther. of course, this logic doesn't apply to them- they are absolutely allowed to get angry and it's fine to get mad at him, he can take that.

so after finishing the series it's so clear that he tries his best to avoid clashing with others not just due to the current circumstances and him needing to be a reliable leader but also because he knows that people don't even like him when he tries to show his good sides and hide all the rest, so who the hell would tolerate his rage and despair? who would stay after realizing that he is so deeply flawed he doesn't even like his own being?

but he does get mad. he can't help it, and sometimes it gets out of control and now everyone knows. and it's funny, isn't it? that most of those moments ended up bringing him closer to others. shuro admitting he is envy of him and actually becoming the friend laios thought he was all along, fighting for his sake and waiting for him to come back- believing in him even after he turned into a monster and searching for him the way he couldn't bring himself to do for falin when he learned of what became of her- or kabru being pushed to just let it all out because he couldn't bluff his way out of this one and get to laios any other way, so now they are even. they are both horribly honest with each other and they both choose to stay. a weird way of getting to know each other, but it is what it is.

it's simply... the more laios let himself just be, the deeper his relationships grew. and there's intimacy in being your ugly, weak and furious self around someone and them not leaving you. feeling safe enough to let it be known you are hurt and angry. and he knows that now, too.

[mourninglamby]

god it's so nice to see your takes on things genuinely

As flawed as it is, i think dsmp is still an incredibly interesting and unique narrative about abuse, how it affects different people, and how it's spread and normalised. It's not a satisfying or clean narrative by any means, but i still think that it approaches its themes in a way that's fundamentally different than any other form of media and it's still worth it to spend time analysing it.

i don't know if the fact that actual abusers worked on it has anything to do with it (i would hazard a guess and say yes, but i digress), but oftentimes it genuinely feels like a look into the internal machinations of abusers, and i think it can make people more aware of the warning signs. and good analysis is the #1 way to actually bring that lesson to the surface, since the story wasn't written with that moral in mind but just stumbled onto it.

so, thank you for giving this smpand its story the time of day, i think that it's genuinely something that's worth doing and it's nice to see someone put themselves out there like you do (since i know how a lot of fans are), have a lovely day!

Ugh this is all worded soooo perfectly. This story is truly the most unique look into abuse and it never even used to word …….forgive the long tangent I’m about to go on but it’s important!! I know there is a bigger conversation to be had, particularly about the meta and the way Tommy played ctommy/how he interacted with the adults on the server, which greatly influenced the delivery of the abuse plotline. Tom Simons played Ctommy epistemologically, so the characters’ knowledge, for the most part, extended only as far as his did. Which created a devastating story ! Especially concerning cwilbur!

I wanna actually talk abt how the word “abuse” was never used, despite it permeating thru the entire narrative. This was on purpose of course. Tommy The Guy was 16. His outlook on abuse and the nuances of it likely weren’t developed enough for him to ever really understand what was happening to his character until it was too late. And in that vein, Clayton Ray Huff and william gold also didn’t think harder about the harm they caused not just Tommy, but everyone else they hurt irl. And I’ll never forget Tommy’s cry for justice before that HORRIBLE ending, saying in his twitch chat that “cdream drove ctommy to suicide!” Or when he told his chat they were Also being manipulated by c!dream, after his first prison visit. It’s so complicated and so difficult to talk about, but it’s absolutely necessary when the story itself never really…. Understood the topic it was portraying. The level of abuse apologism and victim blaming present in this fanbase had such an awful effect on me and my friends, and again, that was intentional. Send the audience they curated to silence any conversation that might allude to blaring red flags. BUT! I’m in a better headspace to discuss the intricacies of its harm and how it failed, and simultaneously investigate how it managed to be so Real.

As for the story being written by a handful of actual abusers … well……. It’s no wonder it ended like a punch to the throat. Absolute horse shit spun from the mouths of men who know what they are, and want to keep being that way. Wilbur thinks he can just Leave for a while and everything would go back to normal. Dream thought he could Start Over so that no ACTUAL consequences would ever reach him. They learn NOTHING because they don’t believe they have to. It’s sick. But it’s always necessary to remember when analyzing the train wreck of an ending both men concocted. Dsmp failed as damage control because they played abusers in that story too. And abusers don’t think they’ve done anything wrong. Completely incapable of introspection.

Okay I’ve talked enough lmfao but . I’m rly thankful I get to receive anons like this … I do not think I’m the smartest person by a long shot and seeing other people articulate these thoughts and introduce me to new things has been very healing and validating. It’s much better than the ppl who would flat out deny it or harass me lol.

[gojosrighteyebrow69]

rainy nights

𝙳𝚎𝚗𝚓𝚒 𝚡 𝚏𝚎𝚖! 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛

ғʟᴜғғ + sᴍᴜᴛ 𝟷𝟾+ (ᴀʟʟ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀs ᴀʀᴇ ᴀɢᴇᴅ ᴜᴘ)

in the feels with your hybrid boyfriend

🔞𝗻𝘀𝗳𝘄🔞 𝚜𝚙𝚘𝚒𝚕𝚎𝚛𝚜, denji being a simp, established relationship, cheesy stuff, oral f! receiving, my baby boy deserves the world

He tried to concentrate on your rambling, but he just couldn't. Not when you were perched up on his lap so prettily he thought he was still dreaming.

Before this, the word love never tasted like anything to Denji. The word tasted bland, like damp, stale rice crackers— the ones that he had rummaged for in the bins when he was in the throes of poverty, which if he thinks about it, now felt like a millennia ago.

But now he knew what love was, and It was you.

It isn't just love. It's all of the firsts that you give him that he never had before. The first real kiss. The first touch. The first embrace. The first time someone has cooked him a dish just for his palate. The first time someone has made love with him. The first time he had held hands with someone. But it isn't just the firsts that you give him, it's the fact you give them to him out of love— out of care and affection that makes him feel so full inside that it hurts.

It's the fact that you genuinely loves him for who he is despite knowing his flaws and shortcomings. His past. His crassness. His vulgarity. His crass humour. His perverted nature. His immaturity. And him being a Devil Hybrid. The fact you love him despite knowing everything wrong with him.

You were the only person who saw him, the real him. The real him that he had hidden behind crude jokes, lewd and perverted comments, deadpan expressions, and immature behaviour. You were the only one who didn't call him a dumbass when he didn't understand basic algebra, the only one who didn't call him a retard for his lack of education. The only one who didn't scoff or grimace at his mannerisms.

You saw him for what he was. The guy who was never given the chance to go to a proper school. The guy who never had enough time to be a teenager. The guy who never even had the chance to be a child. The guy who had to act like an adult when really, he was just a kid.

It was no wonder he acted the way he did. It was no wonder he did what he did to try and grasp at any ounce of affection. The guy just had been desperate. He was desperate for love. A love he never had before. But you saw the real Denji. The real Denji who was deprived of affection so badly to the point that he had to do all those things to find even a modicum of it.

The real Denji who had never learned any social cues because he had not gone to school. Who had no knowledge about how to interact with others. Who had no experience in love because he had been betrayed so many times by girls that all he knew of women was that they would use him before tossing him to the curb once they had no use for him.

The real Denji who didn't even go to primary school, let alone secondary school. The real Denji who had no social skills, was illiterate, and had low emotional intelligence due to never having socialized with other kids his age. The real Denji who was forced into being a devil hunter at a very young age to pay off his deceased father’s debt. Who then got betrayed by the very same people he had trusted. Who became a slave to the government. Who had to lose his family over and over again.

You were the first person to not judge or ridicule him for his lack of education and social skills. A girl who took the time to explain things to him and taught and helped him without any hint of frustration. A girl who would let him stay at her place when he was feeling low and just listen and hold him. A girl who never got annoyed whenever he made a fool of himself whenever he spoke. The girl who didn't mind the fact he was a devil hybrid. The only girl who treated him like a person. Like a human. Like an equal.

You were the only person who didn't see him as a devil hybrid first. The only person who never used him, unlike the countless people that did in the past. The only one who never made him feel as if he was an expendable resource that was only valued because of what he could do, not who he was. The only person who never manipulated or played with his feelings. Who gave him a place to stay, who fed him, who treated his wounds, and who loved him.

"What are you thinking about, baby?"

He's pulled out from his thoughts by your soft touch on his cheek, glancing at you through half-lidded eyes before giving a tired smile as he replies. "Nuthin' much. Just... you."

He says, a smirk appearing on his face as he wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to him until you were flush against him, "Just you, baby." He murmurs, burying his nose into the crook of your neck.

"What about me?" You smile as you wrap your arms around him, combing your fingers through his messy blond locks.

He lets out a soft, relaxed sigh at your touch, your delicate fingers running through his hair sending a small shot of dopamine to his brain, "I... I was just thinking about us. Together and everything, ya know?" He answers, voice a little muffled since he's still nuzzling the crook of your neck, "I was just thinkin' 'bout us." He repeats, his hand sliding up and down your waist gently, almost mindlessly.

He lifts his head slightly to breathe more comfortably, burying his nose into your soft hair, breathing in the subtle scent of your shampoo as he murmurs, "I was just thinkin' about how much I love ya, 'bout us bein' together, all that mushy crap."

"Do you think it was fate that brought us together?" You ask him, thinking back to how things unfolded between the two of you.

He hums quietly, your question making him take a second to think about it. He never really considered himself a person who believed in stuff like fate. He's a person who always preferred to take matters into his own hands. But with you... He started believing in stuff like fate.

He pulls his head back to look at you as he replies in a simple, casual tone, "I don't know 'bout that. I like to think I'm kinda responsible for us gettin' together."

You cup his soft face in your palms, looking into his love filled eyes. "How so?"

He gives a smirk at your question, his hand on your waist giving a playful squeeze, "I mean, how else d'ya think we ended up together, huh? It's 'cause of me who approached ya back in class, ain't it?"

He replies smugly, the smirk not leaving his face, "I'm the man, it's my duty to approach and confess to my girl, ain't it? So it's all 'cause of me, baby."

You smile again, it was really impossible not to when you have such a sweet boy to yourself. A sweet boy who loves you unconditionally. It felt warm with him, even when it was pouring outside. "But still, I like to believe we're soulmates all that. Its cheesy I know, but what's wrong with being sappy once a while?"

A content look spreads on his face as he pulls you flush against him again, arms wrapping around her as he tucks his head into the crook of her neck, "God, I feel so damn lucky that I even met you. I'd probably still be a miserable bastard if I didn't meet you."

"Hey, don't say that. You aren't miserable." You keep running your fingers through his hair, feeling the softness.. You hated when he said things like that and blamed himself for what all happened in his past. It can't be undone, that's true. But he doesn't have to live with feeling guilty about stuff which weren't even his fault to begin with.

He breathes out a soft, low chuckle, nuzzling mindlessly into your touch, his eyes fluttering close as he answers in a low, relaxed voice, "I'm dead serious. You're... You're like the light of my life, baby. You have no idea how much you changed my life... If I never met you I'd continue to lead my shitty life, y'know?"

He lets out a deep breath, his hands starting to wander from your waist to your butt, a smirk beginning to form on his lips, "My shitty, depressing, life... You're the only person who ever loved me like this, ya know? And I love ya so damn much for that."

"And I love you too, so so much" You give him a short peck on his lips.

He lets out a hum in approval at your words, he's always loved it whenever you showed him affection. Hearing the magic words I love you from your soft pink lips are like a soothing balm to his tired soul.

He returns the kiss eagerly, his arms tightening around you as he captures your lip between his, his hand on your butt giving a squeeze.

He slides his tongue into your mouth, letting out a low sound of contentment at the feeling of your soft lips against his, his hand on your butt growing more handsy as his fingers begin to dig roughly into your soft skin, his other hand reaching around to start toying with the button of your shirt.

He slowly pushes you down on the futon, never breaking the kiss, his body following and hovering over yours, his mouth eagerly exploring, his hands now pushing up your shirt to find the soft skin underneath.

He breaks the kiss, a thin string of saliva connecting your lips as he stares down at you with heavy-lidded eyes, his voice coming out in a low, almost tired mumble, "How are you so damn perfect, baby?"

His hands roam up your hips to your chest, starting to unbutton your shirt with hasty hands, "Like, you're so pretty, gentle, and so cute... You're smart, and nice, and even good at cooking and everythin'. You're like a literal goddess, baby."

He pushes your shirt open once he's done with the buttons, his eyes trailing over your chest, and the lacy black bra you have on, "How'd I score a girl like you, huh?" He mumbles, his hands sliding over your waist as he starts to pull down your skirt.

He looks up to give her a lopsided smirk, "If heaven did exist, you'd definitely be an angel, baby." Once the skirt is off, he lets out a small huff, "Now, lemme take a look at ya, baby. Lemme... See my perfect girl..."

He moves over you, settling between your legs, his eyes raking over your body, from your pretty face down to your chest and stomach, before his eyes settle on the dark lace undies you're wearing. He can feel himself hardening, the sight of such a beautiful girl like you making his brain go mush. Goddamn, his girl is just so perfect, it's almost unreal.

He lets out a soft chuckle, shaking his head, "You're too damn beautiful, ya know that, baby? Damn near perfect." He lets his hands roam over your bare thighs and hips, "You look so damn pretty like this, with your legs spread open for me and wearing pretty lace like a good girl."

His hands start to toy with your panties, "These look so good on you, pretty, but I think I'd love to have them off of you so I can see my girl properly."

You could feel your face getting warm. He was such a sweet boy, but the words he spoke when you both are in bed never fail to make you weak in the knees.

He lets out another soft chuckle at your reaction, "You're so cute when you blush like that.." His eyes linger on your exposed core, and he can feel himself go almost feral. His girl is so perfect, and she's all his. He swallows, before letting out a breath, "Damn..."

He lowers himself down, between your legs, his eyes never leaving yours as he starts to press light kisses and bite down your inner thighs, before he lets out a low breath at your core, "Lemme take care of you, baby."

His tongue flicks out, starting to taste you gently, "You'll let me, right? 'Cause I gotta take care of my lovely girl, gotta make her feel good..."

You wanted to say something, but it was just too overwhelming. His words, his tongue and the sound of raindrops falling outside. You just gripped onto his hair, trying not to make too much sounds. "a-ah!"

He can hear the moan escape your lips, and it only encourages him to go further, his tongue starting to lap at your core, he lets out a small moan of his own, "You taste so damn good, baby. Like honey and sugar... I could eat you out all day if you'd let me.." He reaches up, his hands gripping your hips to hold you in place.

He keeps licking you, tasting every inch of your wetness with his tongue, his breathing getting heavier with each swipe and lick. His body starts trembling a little, like he could explode at any moment, like he's holding back from a dam that could burst any minute— because of how good it tastes, because this right is exactly where he wants to be for the rest of his life.

"a-ah d-denji.." You hold tighter onto his hair, loosing yourself in the pleasure.

When he hears you moan out his name, his grip on your thighs tightens even more. Hearing his name come out of your mouth like a prayer, like you were worshiping him like he worships you, makes his heart thump in his chest and he moans again, the sound coming from low in his throat.

He takes your hand as it holds onto one of his, threading his fingers with yours and holding onto your hand desperately.

He keeps on savoring your taste of her as he lets your hand squeeze his. He can't get enough of you, and he doesn't know if he ever will. He keeps his eyes closed as he keeps licking you, focusing on nothing but the taste of you that's on his tongue and the way your hand feels in his, the way you're squeezing his fingers.

He feels like he's drowning in you— drowning in the taste of you, drowning in the way your hand looks so small wrapped around his, drowning in the way you keeps calling his name over and over again. He feels like he's on the verge of losing himself, and he's never been more sure that drowning in you would be the best death he could have.

It didn't take too long for you too reach your release, having it done so many times with him before. He drinks it all up again, savoring every drop.

He sits up, away from you, and he looks absolutely debauched. His eyes are still hazed over, and he's breathing heavily, like he's run a marathon. His lips and chin are still shiny, glistening from your juices, his breathing ragged. He's still holding your hand in his, threading his fingers with yours and gripping it tight.

He crawls on top of you, his body towering over. He looks down at your face, his eyes still hazed over as his eyes take in the sight of your flushed face. He lays his body over yours, his chest against yours, and his legs on top of you. He intertwines the fingers of one hand with yours, and he leans down to bury his face in your neck.

He moves his head down, burying his face between your tits, nuzzling his nose into the skin as he breathes you in, his body going lax on top of hers. He lets a small moan come out against your skin, sounding almost needy, almost impatient.

"Baby...what about you? I wanna make you feel good too." You caress him softly, feeling his hardness press against you.

"Later, baby... want to hold y'right now... need to feel you against me..." He mumbles out, his hands cupping your tits through your bra and playing with them.

The sound of the pitter-patter of rain was soft and rhythmic as you lost yourself in his touch. Being with him was like paradise, like you two were meant to be.

[hxney-lemcn]

Beneath the Mask — Abyss Razor x gn! reader

summery: you show Abyss a kindness that no one has before, which leads to two lovesick fools.

tw: none that I can think of, just typical sad boy Abyss :(

a/n: I love him sm and there's almost no content for him so I had to do something about it.

wc: 1.1k

Master List | Part One | Part Two | Part Three

The first time you laid eyes on him they were drawn to the porcelain mask that laid on his face. Although the face is typically the first thing someone’s eyes land on, you felt like you did something wrong. He was clearly hiding his face, as not only did he wear the delicate mask, but he wore his hood up. You didn’t wish to offend him in any way, so you politely asked if you could sit next to him as that was the only seat left. 

That was the start of your relationship with Abyss Razor, a high ranked Magia Lupus from the Lang dormitory. He was quiet and intimidating, and the fact that you couldn’t see his reactions or expressions only made you feel more timid in his presence. Yet even though he looked to be domineering, and a part of a notorious cult-like group that boasted of their superiority, he had been nothing but kind to you. For group projects he let you lead, chiming in politely when you almost did something wrong. 

His tall imposing figure had turned into a comforting presence. He never judged you for your flaws and he seemed genuinely interested when you found yourself speaking of your interests. You had found yourself falling for your mysterious deskmate despite all odds. You didn’t mind the mask he wore, nor that you ended up filling most of the silence between you two…although sometimes you wished he’d speak more about himself. You couldn’t help that your endearment for Abyss had caused you to want to learn more about him as a person.

And then the unexpected happened. One day, Abyss had showed up to class without his mask. You tried your hardest not to stare, but you were flabbergasted that he had been hiding the most handsome face you had ever laid eyes on. From his long light blue hair tied up in a high ponytail all the way to the jagged marks that lined his cheeks. He was truly beautiful, and you found yourself suddenly questioning your relations to him. It was only recently that you had pondered to finally admit your feelings, but that suddenly seemed to be a lost cause.

You looked down at the table, unable to shake off your sudden feeling of inadequacy. Like usual, he took his seat next to you, taking out the needed materials for the course. You couldn’t stop yourself from taking a glance at him from the corner of your eye. He looked so graceful as his eyes followed his every move. Oh those eyes. You knew the tale of the devil who imbued his evil into only whom could be deemed evil. The mark of the evil eye was only a fable you had thought, but how could one of the sweetest men you had ever met be evil? He kept to himself, never wanting to impose. He’d help whenever he could, never wanting to be useless. You felt your heart break as you finally realized why others kept a distance from him. 

You frowned, wondering how you could be so oblivious about someone you cared so deeply for. You had prided yourself for being observant of his traits, of recognizing his feelings without needing to see his face, only to be the most oblivious. 

“I-I understand i-if you want to stop being friendly t-towords me,” Abyss stuttered, breaking you out of your reverie. Your eyebrows furrowed as you frowned. You finally faced him fully, taking in his downcast gaze, his eyes refused to meet yours, and his head stayed bowed. You once again felt your heart break. Did he really think so little of you? Did he take you for someone so superficial? You had shown him never ending understanding, did he really think you’d just stop because of his powers? Did he really only think of your love as pity?

“Why would I do that?” You asked, eyes locked on him with determination. 

He glanced at you before quickly correcting himself and kept his eyes down, “...I have a curse, and I don’t want to burden you.” You blinked blankly at his idiocracy. Curse? How could the man who lit your heart aflame be a curse or a burden? You longed for his company, for his attention, couldn’t he feel your admiration? Had you really hidden your feelings that well?

“You’re not a burden,” You huffed, trying to keep your frustration in check. He had clearly been hurt, and you didn’t want to add to it. “And I don’t think of it as a curse.” Before he could rebuttal your claims, the teacher had waved everyone’s attention to the front.

It was rare for you to see Abyss outside of class. Although Magia Lupus had disbanded for an unknown reason, your worlds still seemed to be vastly distant. His smooth voice called your name, you looked up from the book you were currently reading. As hard as you tried not to, your gaze lingered on his left eye, memorizing the intricate detail that it held. But you knew it was a sore spot for him, so you tried to dial back your reverence.

His face was solemn, his eyes meeting your own for the first time, “There have only been a few people who have looked over my abilities. Fewer have actually let me stay by their side. It seems that your kindness is greater than I thought, and for that I thank you.”

You weren’t sure what to feel. Your heart fluttered at the unadulterated gratitude that showed in his eyes, yet it felt crushed by how terribly others have treated him. An overwhelming feeling consumed you, a feeling of wanting to shower him in all the affection and love he needed and more. This feeling shocked you, as you’ve never felt so strongly towards another before, and it somewhat scared you.

“Abyss,” You mumbled, restraining yourself from jumping at him to engulf him in a hug. He looked anxious, cheeks reddening slightly as he glanced away. You stood up, unable to hold back your affections. Giving in to your own desires selfishly, you indeed engulfed him in a hug. You squeezed him lightly, hoping your feelings got across to the beautifully sad man you held. 

His body tensed under your touch, and you went to pull away, not wanting to make him uncomfortable, but his arms wrapped around you before you could move. His touch was gentle as he unsurely held you back. The two of you stood like that for a good while, taking in the comfort the other brought. When you finally pulled away, Abyss couldn’t meet your eyes, this time out of fluster. His cheeks were painted a deep red as he fumbled with his hands. A bright smile shown across your face at the display. Once again, you were astounded how the world could turn such a sweetheart away.

A boost of confidence overtook you at Abyss’ bashful display, “I really like you, and nothing will change that.”

That seemed to be the finishing move as he passed out.

Next Page ⟶

[welivetodream]

The reason Bunny gets a shit load of hate despite him being the only one who is NOT an accomplice to murder is because of one simple thing:

His personality.

That is the reason we can't feel bad for him. We as a society have considered Homophobia and sexism one of the worst things you can ever do. Which is true.

Murder is justified in certain situations, especially when it's in a fictional universe/story, not saying Bunny's death was justified, but we can excuse murder----even the law excuses murder at times. It's something grey and understandable in certain situations. We have liked; even loved characters who have killed others simply because it is in a fictional story.

The reason we draw the line at Bunny's behaviour is because, Homophobia, Racism, Sexism/Misogyny as well other forms of discrimination are NEVER excusable. When someone says a slur, you can't excuse that by comparing them in terms of morality with other characters. In modern society, we don't accept slurs and derogatory remarks.

Maybe in the 90's and 2000's when the book was new and fresh, people might not have cared about Bunny's behaviour much, maybe they even sympathize with him and loved him, because it was a DIFFERENT TIME back then. We cannot tolerate things like that anymore and it makes people harder to sympathize with Bunny.

Other than all that, Bunny is annoying a lot of the time. He is not the loveable goof he thinks he is. He scams his friends. He is cocky and arrogant. He is dumb and condescending. He says the worst things at wrong times. He puts people down. He pokes fun at others weaknesses. And the more you see of him the worse he gets. Even to the point you wish he dies.......

And he does. It's in his death that Bunny is more humanized, as most people are, in death.

And it is SOOO frustrating because he is the sanest person in the entire class. The most normal and least indoctrinated in those beliefs.

Bunny Corcoran is a character I wanted to like. But he kept getting on my nerves and I found others more interesting than him. And after reading the book several times I can appreciate him more. Although I don't agree with so many theories about him being a "good" person.

Bunny doesn't need to be good. He doesn't need anyone defending him. He doesn't need excuses for his personality. He is annoying, sometimes endearing; he makes your blood boil and he's still gone too soon. His death is a tragedy. He wanted to live. Forever.

Bunny is Bunny

You love, you hate him, or you don't care about him

His existence is necessary for the story and it's time we don't fight about if he was an angel or the devil

He was a person. A deeply flawed, complex person. And we should appreciate him just for that.

~🕯️🕊️🐇

[pruneunfair]

Rating female leads in manhwa.

Navier

6/10, I absolutely hate her writting and has devolved into a mary sue who only reacts to everything around her while her mass of supporters never shut up about great she is. Her synopsis claiming her as someone who loves all her subjects gets contradicted when its shown she doesnt really care about the slaves.

BUT in season 1 she wasn't bad, I liked her resolve and it was when she actually cared for her people, I feel like if we got to see a clear backstory beyond "she wasn't allowed outside when she studied to be empress" I would understand her total apathy more.

Ariande

7/10, I adore villains, especially villainous protagonists and at first I liked the idea she wouldn't be any better than her family but still had a soft spot for Arabella, she loses a few points because it turns out she's excused for killing people before in the name of "love" and is viewed as someone who can do no wrong.

Adelaide

10/10, she's like Navier but better, she has more noticeable flaws and while she is a kick ass warrior during the tower arcs she still is human and can't always take it alone without consequences, she acknowledges Diane's struggles and makes an effort not to be her enemy and is proof that you dont need to make FL overpowered gods to be strong women. A beautifully made FL in a underrated story

Robellia

1/10, She doesn't divorce her husband despite the title literally being "I will divorce my tyrant husband." But that's more of a problem in most other manhwa. She's too much of a perfect epic goddess for me and most of all she does the whole "buying all the slaves but giving them a home." to make her look even better, what is with manhwa and inserting slavery for no other reason other than to make the FL look better?

Arianna

0/10, there is nothing good about her. Other than being a mary sue and a personality that only revolves around the latest sexy man, she legit forces another guy to join her haram by threatening diplomatic war on his kingdom and bodyshames her fiance but all of a sudden wants him more than ever when he loses weight, it took a random chick being inserted with a 🍇ist persona to make her look "better."

Yerenica

6/10, in any other story, this girl would've been despised by the fandom for being a homewreaker/pick me. She gives me so much second hand embarrassment but she's not terrible, I actually really like her design too. Not a fan of the kidnapper-hostage relationship she and the ML have though.

Pereshati

10/10, the best one here. She feels so much more human than the others on this list, she's got flaws, a relationship with the ML Therdeo that has both realistic progression, blunders, but overall healthy love, she also has relationships outside of her husband which I really love, I actually get scared for her when shes in danger instead of the usual "oh great, heres the typical kidnapping trope", a great motherly FL

Hestia

5/10 I will be easy on her since I just started reading my derelict favorite but I've only heard bad things about it through spoilers so I don't have much hope, also girl, please acknowledge that just because your favorite character did it for love doesn't mean he's absolved for murdering 2 people, thank you

Edith

9/10, my 3rd favorite on this list. You do not know how happy I was when instead of immediately viewing Rhyse as a rival to defeat, she was actually nice to her and the chapters of them were so sweet, she even acknowledges that it isn't anyone's fault for acting out but the author who is pulling the strings.

Layla

8/10, I feel so bad for this poor girl. For some reason I noticed on reddit and tiktok that she's getting hate for not standing up to herself or just not being the usual "girlboss" protagonist, did it not occur that she cant do much to a duke!? Layla deserves so much better and she needs to be far away from Matthias, I don't care if it's "dark romance" he is torturing her for his own pleasure.

[a-legacy-not-to-be-forgotten]

Why Ceroba and the Feisty Four were right

Not bothering with any fancy opening, it's exactly what it says it is: Ceroba and the Feisty Four were right to call out Starlo.

Now before you crucify me, I love Starlo as a character. But I'm tired of people (not calling out anyone in particular) pretending that he's done absolutely nothing wrong and demonize Ceroba and the Feisty Four for snapping at him (largely Ceroba, but I see the Feisty Four get shat on every now and then). And this is not me calling Starlo a jerk. Typically, calling him a flat-out jerk would mean he did shit on purpose with malicious intent, and I don't think he acted out of spite. Rather, he did all those things because he just didn't think about it in the moment. I understand that, and I can 110% relate to that myself, honestly.

That being said, he did make some legit dick moves over the course of the game. Exhibit A: Having Moray walk around with a snake in their boot and giving them rashes.

IK some of Starlo's more wild fans would probably do anything he says and all that, but put yourself in Moray's shoes (or boots I guess would be more appropriate). If your friend made you walk around with a rubber toy in your footwear that gave you a nasty rash, I think you'd be reasonable at least a bit angry at them.

Exhibit B: The Boulder Droppers

They're literal goddam boulders. That shit could've killed someone. Setting them up at a busy mineshaft is reckless enough as it is but leaving them on after you're done using them just makes things even worse.

Exhibit C: Blaming Clover for everything that happened and shooting them over it.

What am I supposed to say? If you hate Ceroba for what she did to Kanako and Clover, keep in mind that Starlo basically did the same exact thing.

Again, this is not me calling Starlo an asshole overall. Yes, he is a good monster deep down and just made some legit mistakes. But my point is, he does have flaws nonetheless and I can't stand people who ignore them. Like, him accepting what he did was wrong and coming to terms with that is one of the best parts of his character! C'mon guys.

And yes, people treat Ceroba as a horrible friend because she wasn't into it and apparently 'hates that part of Starlo' or whatever. If Ceroba actually hated Starlo's obsession with Western culture, do you think she'd indulge in his ramblings on humans?

...or helped him set up all of those wanted posters for him?

...or helping his family search for him when he 'goes missing' during a neutral run?

*sarcastically* Wooooooow, what a horrible friend...

Yes, I understand Ceroba is a very blunt and sarcastic person, but I think because of that, she ends up coming off as harsher than she means to be. Trust me, I can relate to that.

To call her a heartless bitch is a disservice to her character. She does care deep down, even if she isn't that good at showing it.

And hey, she's a mourning widow and mother, I wouldn't blame her for not being good at showing positive emotions.

As for the Feisty Five, our favorite enby fish puts it best themself:

My point is, despite snapping at him, Ceroba and the Feisty Four did not hate Starlo. They understood that his obsession over Western Culture was really important with him. It's made clear that they know he's a good monster deep down, despite his transgressions and were very ready to forgive him.

They just wanted him to dial it back. And yeah, he needed to. Granted, this is targeted at the 'Starlo did nothing wrong' crowd. If you admit that he's pretty heavily flawed but that Ceroba's done worse, I can accept that. Hell, despite me being a Ceroba apologist, I might even agree with you to a degree. But I am a bit tired of the fandom putting him on a pedestal while overhating everyone who remotely criticizes him.

[icycoldninja]

I’m feeling angsty today so I came up with the idea.

Can you write the DMC men when they’ve been in a relationship with the reader for a relatively long time and they thought that they’ve been truthful to one and another and understand their flaws and uniqueness but one night, while in bed, the reader mutter under her breath:

“ You’re too good for me, how? And why? To be loved and desired…is one’s closest feeling to being immortal in this vast universe yet…why me? Of all those out there?”

She muttered as she thought they were still sleeping, but in fact they’re listening very carefully what she says, the quiver in her voice and the cracked tone of one’s suspension of crying

Then they turned to ask her why she thought she didn’t deserve to be loved, she kinda replies that it feels wrong to be loved and feels wrong to love someone knowing you can’t return the gesture how you want due to wither their financial limitations or emotional limitations, even though one should never be deprived of such feelings disregard of race, gender and class

Then she muttered that:

“If anything were to happen to me, you need to move on, forget about me, fall in love with others and treat them like how you treated me and start a family with them, okay?”

“You should not bind yourself in the past for my sake…even though it pains me to see you with others…but to not let you move on would be my biggest guilt”

How would they initially react?

This one's gonna be a bit different since they're more like reaction headcannons than anything else. Enjoy.

Sparda boys + V reactions headcannons

¤ Dante ¤

-Dante cannot believe you just said that. He's shocked, genuinely, undeniably shocked.

-He loves you because you're an awesome, sweet person who dared to get close to him despite all his issues and emotional baggage; someone who stuck with him through his crazy highs and depressed lows, and he'll forever be grateful for that.

-Then he hears you yammering on about how you want him to move on if something happened to you, and wonders if you've gotten amnesia.

-What kind of monster do you think he is?! He could never get over you even if he tried, and besides, with him around, nothing bad could possibly happen to you.

-That's it, Dante can't stay silent any longer. He decides to wake from his pretend slumber like Dracula and tell you all this straight to your face.

■ Vergil ■

-Vergil, the ever alert insomniac, heard every word you said and was quite upset about it.

-He chose you because you had the strength to stand before a son of Sparda and not quaver in your boots. You accepted him for what he was, and loved all of him equally, from Urizen to V.

-He was insulted by the next string of blasphemous words that left your mouth. How dare you suggest that he, the King of Motivation, would allow you to get hurt? Did you really have such little faith in him?

-He would not let you die--he would sooner kick the bucket than let you meet your demise, and even if you did pass away by some unfortunate turn of events, Vergil would never get over it.

-He could see it even now, how he'd lay his remaining human half to rest alongside your corpse, fully embracing the demon within him and going on to conquer the world, disregarding his brother and all that you'd built together.

-Vergil probably should have told you this, since the only reason you were saying such depressing words was because you needed comfort, but decided to keep silent. After all, he wasn't supposed to hear what you said, so he'll pretend he didn't. However, he will snuggle up to you so you can at least feel the comforting warmth of his presence.

□ Nero □

-Nero was awakened by your mumbling and managed to catch most of what you said. It took him some time to process everything since his brain was foggy, but once he understood what you meant, his heart broke.

-Why is that even a question? Why do you sound like you're about to cry? Are you considering leaving him? Are you terminally ill? What would make you say such a thing?

-Nero loves you because you're sweet and you care for him in ways no one else can. You're ready to die to protect him, and so is he--no one else could replace you.

-How dare you ask him to move on if something happened to you? He loved you, and only you! If you died, Nero would be inconsolable, he'd probably fall into a deep, deep depression and overdose on painkillers or something, but this is all speculation.

-Nero would sacrifice anything and everything if it meant keeping you safe, do you should have nothing to fear.

-Nero knew the only reason you were mumbling such things was because you thought he was asleep, meaning you intended for these words to be kept private. As much as he wanted to keep that illusion alive for your sake, he couldn't let you say these things and go to sleep thinking so negatively. Thus, he arose from slumber and pulled you into his arms, repeatedly reminding you of how much he loved and needed you until you fell asleep.

● V ●

-V happened to flutter awake at the exact moment you began your nocturnal lament, mumbling about how you didn't deserve him, or something like that.

-V was taken aback, wondering why you would even think that when it was clear he was the one who didn't deserve you.

-Then you started muttering about how you wished he would move on, forget about you, and start a new life if anything was to happen to you. This made V's heart shatter.

-He could believe you would say that; you were the love of his life, the one woman who cared enough to stay with such a weak, physically pathetic, borderline invalid for so long and enjoy the experience. You'd left a lasting imprint on him, one that he wouldn't forget anytime soon.

-The very fact that you'd suggest such a thing was not only heartbreaking but also insulting. V wouldn't let you continue thinking like this any longer.

-He got up and immediately wrapped you in the tightest hug he could muster, whispering sweet words of affirmation into your ear until you broke down in tears, then covering you with kisses till you calm down.

[allyjoe755]

What I Think Pt. 1

lucien vanserra x reader

Part Two

A/N: ask and ye shall receive. An incomplete angsty-blurb, essentially Lucien has taken his place as heir to the Day Court and so he's betrothed... to you

Word Count: 517

Warnings: there is Lucien slander. And some angst. I'm sorry (not really)

o-o-o

“Not like me.” You breathed out a humorless laugh. “You haven’t sacrificed like I have.”

Lucien shook his head and let out a heartier and less humorous laugh. “So then that’s what this is really about? That you want some accolade for the things that you’ve laid aside for the Day Court? Please, y/n.” He scoffed. “The only person you can blame for that is yourself.”

You wanted to scream, wanted to tell him how he was wrong, how he didn’t understand–

He didn’t understand.

He didn’t understand.

“You don’t get it,” you whispered as you looked at the ground, your face softening with realization.

“What?”

“You don’t get it,” you said again, louder this time, your face hardening as you finally looked at him. “My entire life has been spent devoted to this court. I would do anything– I have done everything– for these people.” You could feel tears beginning to pool in your eyes, yet you continued. “But you don’t get it. You’re not from here. You don’t think the same way we do, you don’t care the same way we do–”

“I do care!” He exclaimed, and you could still see the way his shoulders tightened even with his arms crossed. “I care about this court; do you think I would be here if I didn’t?”

“I don’t think you would be here if it wasn’t convenient for you!” You replied, your voice rising.

“Oh, really? And what is it that you think, y/n?”

You didn’t see him roll his eyes but you could hear it all the same in his voice. You took a step closer to him, your temper rising.

“I think,” you began, “that when you were a young man, you fell desperately in love with a woman who desperately loved you back. I think that was the first time that anyone in your life truly saw you. And I think that when she died, and you fled to the Spring Court, that despite his flaws you still liked being Tamlin’s second in command because it meant he needed you.

“I think that when you found your mate, Elain, you were elated– as anyone would be– but you especially so. Because it meant being with someone who would be desperate for you. And I think that if she hadn’t shown such a strong disinterest, you wouldn’t have begun trying to figure out whose bastard son you were. Because she would have wanted you. She would have needed you.

“I think that if Elain hadn’t rejected the bond altogether, you would have never found your way to the Day Court and claimed your birthright. And I think you only wanted it in the first place because then, finally then, it would mean that there would be people who needed you. There would be people who looked up to you, who depended on you.

“I think, Lucien Vanserra,” you said, voice deathly quiet, “that you want to be needed, and need to be wanted.” You shook your head. “And what an unfortunate circumstance that has landed both of us in.”

[deadpool15]

Overshadowed Ch.1

"Hey, look at me. I don't expect you to the most perfect fucking man. There is no such thing. You have scars from the stuff you've been through. It's understandable. I understand you, si-o. I don't want you to change your plans or anything unless you truly want that. I won't expect anything from you except to be honest with me." I slowly clasp my hands upon his face, holding him with my gentle touch to let him know I wouldn't hurt him. After all he has been through, I want him to know I'm the last person who would want to hurt him. "I want you to trust me, I know I must earn your trust, and I will do everything in my power to show you how much I care for you. No more pain, ok? I'm not leaving."

I needed him. For the first time in my life, I had felt like I was wanted, loved. This feeling couldn't be replaced by anything my mother had gifted me over the years to make up for her lack of parenting. Though, I knew si-o had never felt such love either. He was used to pain and resentment. I wanted to be the one who showed him there was more to life than those things. I didn't want to change him. Sure, he had flaws and issues, but I wanted to embrace all of them. They were a part of him, making him who he is today. My father once told me he adorned the villains in fairy tales. Younger me had questioned that for a long time, though know I see it. A hero would sacrifice you for the sake of the world as if you meant nothing. One casualty means nothing compared to thousands, yet a villain would sacrifice the entire world for you. Thinking more about it, why was the villain deemed bad in reality? The hero was selfish, thinking one could have it all with no consequences.

Imagine someone's love for you to be so passionate and devoted that they would sacrifice everything for you without a second thought. I had never seen a love story in real life. My parents went divorced because my mother prioritized work over her family and because my older sister had gone missing in a foreign country. They made it seem like their love died, though I always felt like my father held more love for my mother. My mother cared for nothing but money and having a daughter. She had two, one that possessed the strength of the many generations before her, then there was me. I was adopted at age 2. I can't remember a thing about my biological parents, but I had an amazing relationship with my father. He was the one who loved all of his children equally despite only the three of us having superpowers. In my mother's eyes there was only nam-soon.

Completely neglected by her my entire life. I was invisible, one would say. Whenever she missed a dance rehearsal or important event in my life, she loved to buy gifts. Overly priced gifts, hoping it would make 4 year old me forget that mommy hadn't bothered to show up again because of work. Money was everything to her, and I wasn't. I grew envious of my sister. Of course, I missed her while she was gone, but would it be an evil thing to say a small sick part of me was happy, thinking mother would have no choice but to pay attention to me. I was wrong. Nam-soon this, nam-soon that. Hosting strength competitions and constantly fixing her favorite dishes at dinner. I hated myself, why couldn't I be happy she was back? Why was I so jealous of her? And why can't I make my mom love me?

When I met si-o, all that changed. I had shown up to give nam-soon her lunch for the day. She had been undercover working with some cop she liked, and it was obvious he liked her as well. Now no one in the public knew of me, after nam-soon went missing our parents thought it would be best to shield the world from us. I was known as the spoiled rich daughter of some famous ceo. No one bothered to ask who? I stumbled upon this man, taller than me. Bumping into his chest, which was as far as my head could reach, even in heels. He was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen. I wanted him to be mine.

Chapter 1: Overshadowed

Chapter 2: To be loved

Chapter 3: You and me

Chapter 4: Second place

Chapter 5: Love is hard

Chapter 6: No matter what

Baily Bass(oc)- Danny

Byeonwooseok-Ryu-si

Other characters are their respective characters.

[hannigramislife]

for my own gratification bc i just ran into nie mingjue hate in the wild, would you mind making a post that defends my poor good boy? he worked so hard and got gaslit to shit before getting murdered terribly ;; literally everyone sat there telling him "youre being too harsh" and he's just responding appropriately. like yeah, if you witness a murder, ya kinda got to do something about that as a clan leader. its kinda your responsibility, even when you care about the person who did the murdering. he was also a really young when he took on the role of clan leader and idk, it just made me rlly sad to see people dunk on him cuz wtf he's literally just trying his best in an impossible situation WHILE being perpetually fucked over by his clan's own traditional cultivation cuz now the stronger he is as a leader, the closer he is to going literally insane and dying bc of it. (mingjue did nothing wrong i will die on this hill) ((sorry for going on a tirade, im just sad and defensive of my good boy rn))

Oh no! I'm so sorry you had to go through Nie Mingjue hate! Truly tragic. I went through that once when in the beginning of me reading the books, when I still had no proper opinions, and never again.

I'm more than willing to make a post about Nie Mingjue! I'm always down to talk about Nie Mingjue tbh, he's my heart and love and if I were to have been given the opportunity to be his right hand person, I would have simply never betrayed his trust and married him. Rip Jin Guangyao but I'm different.

Anyways, I, huhhh, actually think you?? Covered it all??? Pretty much?? Yet I will talk about it. This will be long and non-coherent, because I don't have the books rn to find quotes in them and honestly, I could write essays on Nie Mingjue either way.

Nie Mingjue is a central piece of the narrative, despite the limited amount of appearances he made, and the fact that he wasn't close to the main characters at all. The entire second part of the plot revolves around him- it happened because of him. His murder is a tragedy; literally, by greek standards, man has Cassandra Curse all over him, so I don't get how people can tell me, confidently, that his death was warranted. I've been told the man had asked for it, and this has mostly been by Jin Guangyao apologists.

So let me make something real fucking clear.

Nie Mingjue did not deserve to die. Let's get that out of the way, anyone can fight me on that. Nie Mingjue had more good qualities than half the people in this fucking story, despite his flaws. After his father was brutally murdered when Mingjue was only in his teens, Nie Mingjue stepped up as clan leader. We can only speculate the hardships that await someone leading a clan at such an early age. Yet, political challenges weren't the only thing he had to battle; Nie Mingjue knew about his clan's harmful cultivation, and he knew he was going to die young. So what did he do? His best. Literally his best, always. He was always giving 100% of his abilities, because that's who he was.

Let's talk about who Nie Mingjue was, shall we?

When Jin Guangyao, still Meng Yao then, describes Nie Mingjue, he finds himself perplexed, because Nie Mingjue isn't like other men. He is not frivolous, and he has no vices; Meng Yao describes how Nie Mingjue never showed an interest in arts, or alcohol, or women. All he did was train, and fight the Wens during the war. It shows that he had a one-track mind from the start, and has got a strict discipline; yet this strictly disciplined man, leader of a clan that prizes strength, continuously indulges his lazy and undisciplined half-brother, his one and only heir, despite not understanding his interests. We gather, pretty quickly, that Nie Mingjue is a bleeding heart for his brother, and for the ones he loves in general. We see the same softer side displayed in the presence of Lan Xichen, and of course, for some time, Meng Yao.

People seem to think Nie Mingjue took Meng Yao's betrayal too harshly. As if somehow seeing a man he thought to have been just and honest commit premeditated murder, then cover it up, was something he was just supposed to get over. To this day, I can't believe how Lan Xichen was so understanding of it. But not only did Nie Mingjue catch him in a cowardly act - Meng Yao proceeds to manipulate him, using the fact that Nie Mingjue cared about him, to stab him in the back. Or front, however it happened. I get that Meng Yao was in a difficult position, that he suffered at the Jins, that he felt backed in a corner; but Nie Mingjue was a man that had extended his help to Meng Yao before, and even then, he went to find Meng Yao in righteous fury, ready to help him again. To Nie Mingjue, the idea that Meng Yao "had no other choice" but to kill - to kill in the manner he did - it could have been nothing but a betrayal.

One thing that I personally highly respected Nie Mingjue for was the fact that he did not judge Meng Yao for his background. This is not up for debate; Nie Mingjue stood up for him, quite publicly, quite vocally, when Meng Yao was being insulted over it. And not only that, but he promoted Meng Yao to be his right hand man, just like that. Because he's impulsive, and to prove a point, but it was still huge of him to do. Not even Lan Xichen would have done that - In a society built on power dynamics between social classes, Nie Mingjue was one of the few characters who did not let that define his actions. It wasn't because he was born privileged (though he was) but because he he didn't let anything other than his judgment direct his actions. Nie Mingjue also never shied away from anything; if it had to be done, he did it, no matter the cost.

Nie Mingjue was decisive, and had an iron will. When Meng Yao killed the Nie disciples in Qishan, he wanted to kill Meng Yao. Meng Yao told him, paraphrasing, that "don't you understand that if I hadn't done that, it would have been your corpse up there?" and Wei Wuxian takes it to mean "Translation: I saved you so you can't kill me, because that would mean you're in the wrong." So Nie Mingjue hesitated for a second, then said: "Fine! I'll kill you, and then take my own life!" And the only reason he didn't, was because Lan Xichen was there. Otherwise, Nie Mingjue would have killed his former friend, then followed him to whatever afterlife awaited.

Nie Mingjue is often portrayed like he doesn't understand stuff, like he's stupid, simply because of his black and white sense of morality. That's not correct: Nie Mingjue understands motive, but he doesn't accept the ends justifying the means. Scratch that, he doesn't accept or justify either, if they're unjust. The murder of the Jin commander, the murder of the Nie disciples, not executing Xue Yang - how can Nie Mingjue possibly understand Meng Yao's decisions, when Nie Mingjue would rather die, any day, than live thanks to vile actions?

And then, Nie Mingjue starts falling into qi-deviation. We know that it affected his temper the most, and his judgement. I don't understand how it works, really, so I don't know by the end how much was Nie Mingjue and how much was the mess that the spirit made of him - maybe a combination of the two. But what is certain, is that the rapid qi deviation changed him.

But I could write a hundred more pages on him, meticulously going over every single scene he has ever appeared in, because I find him that interesting. I find him the most interesting, and the most appealing character, because in a story where the navigation of the cultivation world's complex politics and hierarchies with tact and diplomacy is crucial, Nie Mingjue stands uncompromising in his principles, choosing duty and honor over anything else, even when it's hard.

[xomaleyaxo]

Stolen Hearts → Blackpink 5th Member

Synopsis: As time passes and their hearts are forever stolen, they’re drawn deeper into an unbreakable love.

Part 2 to Stolen Glances

Wc: 2.3k

They say you have three loves in your life: the first love, which is intense and exciting, full of passion and youthful energy; the second love, which teaches you about heartbreak and the complexities of relationships; and the third love, which arrives unexpectedly, steady and enduring, and is said to be your true, lasting love. For Mirae, Mingyu was her third love, and everything she had heard about this kind of love was starting to ring true.

With Mingyu around, life seemed brighter, as if she had spent years in the shadows and now the sun had finally broken through. He was the kind of man she had been waiting for her entire life, someone she felt her father, if he were still here, would have loved for her. Deep down, she believed he was watching over her and had sent Mingyu her way. He was almost too good to be true, yet here he was, making her world feel complete.

Mirae had always longed for someone like her father, a kind soul, a musician, someone who gave everything for the people he loved. In Mingyu, she saw all those traits. She admired how he could connect with anyone instantly, forming a sense of comfort effortlessly. He was the kind of person who made everything better just by being there.

Initially, Mirae felt so different from him, her introverted nature clashing with his extroverted energy. However, over time, Mingyu’s openness began to rub off on her. He helped her break out of her shell and see life in a new light, while she grounded him, showing him the beauty of quiet, intimate moments. It felt as though they were puzzle pieces finally coming together, perfectly fitting for the first time.

Despite their differences, their similarities deepened their understanding of each other. Both had spent their youth chasing dreams, and now they were living them. They understood the devotion required to achieve their goals and how to support each other through their demanding careers. They knew when to prioritize their groups and fans but also when to remind each other to take a break and relax, finding balance in both their work and relationship.

As they spent more time together, Mirae realized she had never felt such ease before. It was as if they had been together for years, even though it had only been a short time. Mingyu saw her, truly saw her. Normally, this might have frightened her, but instead, he embraced every flaw and imperfection. He never made her feel like there was anything wrong with her, which made her feel validated.

Despite her efforts to seek help, Mirae carried a lot of baggage. These issues affected her daily life, accompanied by a nagging voice that told her no one deserved to deal with her struggles. She preferred to write out her feelings and leave them behind, a habit that negatively impacted her relationships since she struggled to express her emotions directly. Though she was working on it, Mingyu’s open expression of his feelings made her worry about her own inability to do the same.

Being an idol, she had an unrelenting drive for perfection. She pushed herself hard, always striving to meet impossible standards, as if achieving excellence could somehow make up for the absence of her father. The immense pressure she placed on herself stemmed from a desire to make him proud and live up to an ideal she had constructed.

She hated being vulnerable and crying in front of others, yet she was someone who cried easily, whether it was from seeing someone else in distress, frustration, or being yelled at. Her mind urged her to maintain a tough exterior, but her heart remained vulnerable, causing her eyes to betray her emotions.

One night after a cozy café date, she opened up to Mingyu about her fears and insecurities. He listened silently, deeply understanding the weight of what she was revealing. It was clear that opening up was a challenge for her, but he felt a profound sense of gratitude that she was willing to be vulnerable with him.

Mingyu didn’t care about her flaws; in fact, her imperfections only made him like her more. To him, her struggles were not obstacles but parts of her that he wanted to embrace completely. He was determined to support her through them, and when he conveyed this to her, it brought her a deep sense of safety and the realization that he was the one who could truly make her feel safe.

As summer was ending, their relationship grew serious very rapidly. Mirae, usually cautious about moving too quickly, felt herself drawing closer to the idea of love with Mingyu.

Their first kiss happened after their fourth date, inside his car as he dropped her off. The dim lighting, soft music from the radio, and the lingering warmth of their date created the perfect setting. As they sat there, sad their evening was ending, Mingyu leaned in slowly, his gaze locked with hers, asking a silent question. Mirae gave a gentle nod, and they shared a soft, sweet kiss.

When they pulled away, both were blushing, their smiles widening as they made eye contact and said goodbye. Mirae hadn’t expected to feel like a blushing teenager again, but the kiss with Mingyu reminded her of the excitement and giddiness of kissing someone for the first time. It was a small kiss, yet it left her yearning for more. As the days passed, they grew more comfortable with each other, and soon, they were in a committed relationship.

The changes in Mirae were noticeable to those closest to her. She seemed happier and brighter, a stark contrast to her past relationships where she kept everything private. Mingyu was different. She couldn’t stop talking about him, whether it was a sweet gesture he made or a funny moment they shared. He was a constant presence in her mind and conversations. Her friends and family often teased her about it, but they were genuinely happy for her. It was clear to everyone that she was smitten, and it was a rare and wonderful sight.

Mingyu was equally smitten, and his members playfully teased him about it. They’d play Blackpink songs, dance along, and sing her parts, which always made him blush and smile. He was thrilled to be with her after admiring her from afar for so long. Now that she was his, he took every opportunity to brag about her and praise her. While his members sometimes found his constant adoration a bit much, they were mainly just happy to see him so content.

Mirae wasn’t sure when she realized she loved Mingyu; it just happened naturally. She never pinpointed the exact moment, but somehow, she was the first to say “I love you.” One cozy night, she invited him over for dinner. As they sat quietly watching a movie, she felt an overwhelming sense of contentment and looked over at him.

He was gently petting her dog Luna, who had adored him from their very first meeting. Luna rested comfortably in his lap, while Mingyu’s arm stroked the dog, and his other arm was wrapped around Mirae’s waist, giving her soft circles.

Noticing her gaze, Mingyu looked back and smiled, his eyes lighting up at the sight of her. She returned his smile and leaned in to kiss him softly, making him giggle.

“What's up?” he asked.

“Mhmmm, nothing,” she replied softly, leaning her head into his neck and letting it rest there.

“Now you have to tell me,” he said, giggling as he gently pulled her away so he could see her face.

“Mhm,” she whined, trying to nestle back into his neck to feel his warmth.

“Stoppp,” he said, softly grabbing her face with his hands. “Tell me.”

She looked up at him, and he leaned closer to her lips. “I love you,” she whispered.

Mingyu paused for a moment, his eyes widening before breaking into a grin. Luna, sensing the shift, hopped off his lap as he moved.

“You love me?” Mingyu asked, still holding her face with one hand and giggling.

She nodded, her cheeks puffing out as she waited for him to say it back.

“Thank you,” he said.

“Uh!” she said, playfully pushing his arm away and giggling as he grabbed her back, laughing.

“You didn’t say it back, wowww,” she said sarcastically, pretending to move his arms away and leave.

“I’m kidding,” he joked, pulling her close again.

As they settled down, she looked at him once more. He pushed her hair behind her ears and said, “I love you too,” before kissing her deeply.

After their first “I love you,” their lives sped up. Weeks turned into months, and despite their busy schedules, they made time for each other. Mingyu flew out to see her during her tour and supported her at Coachella. Mirae used her limited free days to visit him. Their efforts to stay connected despite their hectic lives demonstrated their commitment and reassured them both that their relationship was serious and worth every effort.

Their first anniversary fell on one of her concert days in Australia, and Mirae was saddened by their inability to celebrate together. Both were very busy, but Mingyu reassured her that they could celebrate another day. True to his word, they found a weekend when they were both free and spent it away in Paris, the city of love.

Their first actual vacation together was both extravagant and wonderful. Mingyu, being the romantic he is, ensured every detail was perfect, and his efforts made Mirae swoon. She didn’t care about the expense; she just wanted to be with him and relax. Yet, seeing him put in so much effort to make everything special made her feel truly loved.

The trip felt like a scene from a movie, a story she would one day share with her future children. They went sightseeing, explored various bars, and connected with locals. They slow-danced to street musicians at night, spent their days wrapped up in bed, and cherished every moment together.

As her tour came to an end and she returned to Korea, Mirae found herself increasingly immersed in Mingyu’s world. His members became her friends, and she enjoyed joining in on the playful teasing of Mingyu. Wonwoo, who lived with him, became a big brother figure to her. She often saw him during her visits, often cooking for him, and would invite him to join them for shows and games.

Mingyu also became more involved in Mirae’s life, growing close to her siblings and mother, as well as their significant others. She loved watching him laugh with her brother and sister and help her mother with cooking. His presence was refreshing, and her mother often praised him to Mirae, appreciating how he seamlessly fit into their family.

Their circles began to intertwine effortlessly, and both of them loved how seamless the transition had been. Her friends adored him, and his friends embraced her, all recognizing how well they complemented each other. It was clear to everyone around them that they were truly good for one another.

However, their growing closeness did not go unnoticed online. Observant fans and followers began to remark on how Mirae seemed particularly close with some of Mingyu's band members at various events. Speculation and curiosity about their interactions sparked discussions, with many wondering about the nature of their relationship.

Additionally, fans noticed how Mirae and Mingyu often wore similar clothing and posted similar styles, which fueled more speculation about their connection. While she tried not to let it bother her, the constant scrutiny and unfounded rumors occasionally made her resent her life as an idol.

At times, She longed for the freedom to stroll down the street with Mingyu without worrying about paparazzi. The only moments they could truly roam freely were when they were out of the country.

Though they loved each other deeply, the fear of their relationship being discovered loomed over them. She wished it didn’t have to be this way, but the reality was harsh, male idols who sought happiness and the women they chose to be with often faced judgment and scrutiny.

It wasn’t everyone, but even small rumors and fan ships had brought unwarranted hate her way in the past, simply for being close to someone. Despite her efforts to stay unaffected, seeing such negativity was disheartening. While she was content within her private bubble with Mingyu, the constant fear of their relationship being exposed weighed heavily on her.

Both of them worried about the potential exposure of their relationship, but they knew that if it ever came to that, they would never let others’ opinions force them to break up. They were deeply happy and in love, and they both had a strong sense that this was it, that they had found their forever person. Their hearts were irrevocably intertwined, and they knew they would never let go.

This was the love she had waited for, a love that had not only lifted her off her feet but had also left her heart soaring in a way she had never imagined. It was the kind of love that felt both exhilarating and comforting, the kind that made every moment with him feel like a dream come true. He was her forever boy, the one who had come into her life and made her believe in the magic of true love. With him, every day felt brighter, every challenge seemed manageable, and every moment was filled with a sense of deep, unshakeable happiness. This was the love she had always yearned for, and now that she had found it, she knew it was worth every wait, every tear, and every heartache she had ever experienced.

Mingyu was hers, and she was his. This was it. And she couldn’t wait to see what the future held for them together.

[tw1stedthicket]

You know what fucking sucks? Religion, particularly Christianity and its many forms, instills in you from birth that you are inherently unworthy, flawed to the point of unlovability, and your natural state is one of sinfulness and offensiveness to God and all that is good. You are systematically taught all your life that your worth comes in your redemption, and in the way you can let shame mold you into someone more subservient, obedient, and loyal to "God's path" or "God's ways". Your worthiness (all your self-worth, that is) is contingent on how much you can make up for the badness inside you, and become a vessel for light and God's power and whatnot. In the Mormon Church, I distinctly remember a leader very beloved by myself and many others, made his personal branding all about healing from your brokenness and how our lives can be meaningfully spent stumbling and stumbling and stumbling our way toward God again, and despite losing our way or even crawling on our hands and knees in despair or frustration, we are redeemed in our consistent "trying" for the right path and to be the right person/saint/disciple.

And then you deconstruct. However that comes about for you. The world opens up more, and you harbor more genuine feelings for others. You comprehend the limits of conditional love and perhaps glimpse at something more unconditional and free in the people who do accept you, and you feel real relief in their patience with you, that now there is so much more out here, and, and, and wow who knew that there could be so much joy in owning your choices and not having to be right and there is so much you were wrong about!! And...

There is so much you were wrong about.

And you see the gate open for you-- stretched wide with newfound possibilities, but surrounding it is so many fences. You have built up conditions around yourself and others your whole life. You still have maligned ways of understanding for some things, because embedded in you is patterns and ways of being from years, and even in your truest expression of who you are, you will find that you have been touched by what you were taught. And you were terribly wrong not in thought or opinion only but in your judgment. Your controlling. Your policing. Your defensiveness. Your need to be right. Your need to correct, to fix, to "save", to convert, even when you thought you were this vessel for light and the highest expression of love was in showing others "the right way to be" under the guise of sharing this love on a mission or unrelenting invitations or even your "example" -- you were enforcing the harshest punishment on others what you received from God: that others were not enough, and broken, and flawed.

And it feels like it was true that you are inherently sinful. That you shouldn't trust yourself. That your intuition is wrong. You are a cruel and uncaring person, and you could be domineering and unempathetic and disingenous even outside of it all, even when belief no longer burdens you, and you are in need of redemption. To fix yourself...to be worthy again.

It's hard to know and feel my way through what I need to do to make things right in a way that is not self-martyrdom, like falling before a cross and admitting your sins and expecting there to be a divine judgment received that may absolve you. The truth is, is people may not forgive you. Or if they do, they might not want you in their life again, or as closely as it was before. But you can't let shame be what motivates you or tempers you into the shape of someone contrite and pure because forgiveness is only as free as your sincere apology is, unconditionally, and...recognition that you had a choice, you are responsible for it even if not responsible for the driving factor behind it in your religious indoctrination, but you have to recognize you are *NOT* inherently flawed and unworthy. It's hard to believe that you are worthy either way of having friends, having trust, having connection, having authenticity. If you are also from a dysfunctional/abusive home, your boundaries and shame are even more blurred.

I wish I had more answers, but I think the truth is in what religion perverted: love can be the solid motivator for your change. My friendships helped me get out, the ones who chose to be patient with me. It's hard for me to not view their patience as generosity, like God's, when I was inherently undeserving of it, but I try to accept that what was more likely is that they had boundaries, and maybe that's more realistic and important than any notion of perfect, 'unconditional' love. I doubt they came to me with everything, all their thoughts or fullest self. I believe they more than likely said and did certain things to assauge me or learned what was off the table and what wasn't to talk about or do. But they also saw that I was lovable despite my flaws in a non-black and white way - holding space for contradictions like that as if it didn't mean damnation. Even the friends I have grown apart with have never treated me like I wasn't enough. That's not a concept to them. They may have drawn stricter boundaries for themselves, but they were kinder than any God I knew to always treat me with respect even in their distance, and in that way, it holds me more accountable because it acknowledges that I am capable of being a good person. An open-minded, nonjudgmental, caring, accepting person, even if imperfectly. But it's up to me and my choices. Maybe it's not about redemption, but trust. I know my deconstruction is going to probably be lifelong. I know I have so much to learn and experience. But I am grateful for the patience and love of people who saw me not through the lens of religion because they were the ones who helped me get out and get free and be the best version of myself. I hope I can rid myself of my shame and rather understand that the most important work in redemption is not about fashioning myself into an un-boundaried, unassuming, self-sacrificing, or overbearing "light" for a deity that cares only about my loyalty, with a kindness that is about changing people more than getting to just be human with them and accept them, with bludgeoning myself with amorphous and nebulous values of goodness and righteousness that have me putting on a mask to diffuse what is actually authentic about connection; that it is more so my duty and my privilege to get to *earn* the *trust* of other people through being the kind of person that I know I have had within me, perhaps not always embodied, but within me, all along -- not inherently bad, but worthy of love and friendship.

[dasher85]

Rain..

He theoretically understand the concept of love

Neuvillette x Reader | y/n | you

short story

Part 1 | Part 2

[ how can you love someone when you don't have a reason? ]

---------------------------

[ Two years ago ]

The first day of work you didn’t think to see the Chief of Justice but you did.

You were in charge of handling the new case files as well as writing specific paperworks for the court. It was your specialty so you’re confident to do a good job for those tasks.

On your way back to your desk after getting some refreshments, someone was walking ahead towards your empty desk. The first thing your eyes noticed was the man’s waist long white hair with two blue navy coloured strands. 

‘It’s just like an insect’s antenna but combed neatly’. You secretly thought after seeing those two blue navy strands of his hair. Fortunately, you didn’t laugh like a madwoman for thinking such bizarre thoughts.

His slow and calm footsteps have forced you to follow his walking pace until you could reach your desk. It was a little awkward because it feels like an eternity to you.

The sole of his shoes echoed through the place and somehow you couldn’t help but walk a little quietly. Just a few more steps he’ll pass by your table and your silent suffering will end.

Or so you thought.

Suddenly he stopped right in front of your desk and you halted as well. He turned, facing your desk and you could see his side profile from where you stood. Instinctively you feel like turning around and act as if you forgot to take something from the refreshment room.

But before you could move, the man wearing a formal navy blue attire turned his head towards you. There were other workers working on their desk accompanied with an ambience of a usual office atmosphere but to you the world suddenly fell silent.

‘Is that the Chief Justice, Neuvillette?’. You finally remembered that man whom you’ve seen before during trials in court. You’ve heard about him many times and see him from afar but never this close.

His enchantingly unnatural blue eyes met your gaze as he suddenly turned to face where you were silently standing. Reflexively, you politely bowed with a slight smile.

‘What the hell?! What the hell!’. You nervously screamed in mind repeating those words like a chant.

Unexpectedly he expressionlessly slightly bowed back in response to you. Truthfully, you didn’t know what to do after that exchange of wordless courtesy.

“Do you perhaps know the person who’s occupying this desk?”. His deep voice rings in your ears.

“I uh… that’s-”. Taken aback for a brief second your mouth didn’t seem to cooperate with your mind.

“It’s… That’s me. What can I help you Sir?”. You quickly responded professionally.

That was your first encounter with that respected and yet mysterious man. Oddly enough despite harbouring various negative thoughts towards him, you didn't think it was all a false assumption until you've had enough encounters with him during work hours. 

Most of his direct visits would be because of the wrong things you've done in your work. Imperfections or flaws, things that even your colleagues couldn't distinguish. Despite that, he never scolded you and calmly corrected or advised what needed to be changed. Those frequent corrections last for three months. At some point you even thought of quitting just because he would complain about missing punctuation marks.

Fortunately, you did get better and become an absolute particular about everything before you send those papers to him. You couldn't afford to start everything all over again every time something was written wrong.

[ One year ago ]

A lady whom her partner was responsible for a crime was sentenced to serve a few years in the fortress of Meropide. It was rather serious but at the same time can be considered a normal case that has been conducted fairly. 

As one of the workers in court, the lady turns out to be an old acquaintance of yours from your previous work. So naturally she would refer to you, asking if you could help to reduce his sentence. Obviously things like that were impossible to change once the judgment of the Oratrice Mecanique d'Analyse Cardinale concluded the trial. Everyone should know that but perhaps you were the only person she could share such meaningless concerns with. 

For a whole week she would visit your desk and all you could do was try to repeat the same thing in a calm manner. It was a professional process but at the same time it was unnecessary. Your coworkers didn’t know what to do either since she wasn’t being violent.

When Neuvillette learned of this matter from other workers who were talking about it during their lunch break, he went to confirm it with you. However, without even asking he had already seen what was happening.

You didn't think the Chief Justice would care about trivial things nor did you expect to see him standing there in front of your desk during lunch hour. 

"Ma'am. With all due respect, it is inconvenient to question the court's staff. As the Chief Justice, I shall assist you with an appropriate solution. Please make an appointment for a meeting with me tomorrow." Neuvillette expressionlessly spoke. 

You quietly stood there feeling relieved that someone would professionally reason with this pleading woman. As of late, you only wished to have a peaceful day but you didn’t think he would be the one who’ll throw himself into that situation.

[ Present time ]

"...will you keep it?". Neuvillette implored, looking at your face with a soft smile as he leaned closer to your face.

And here it comes without warning… he has yet again placed himself in a situation that you’d never imagined he would be in. That question he spoke circulating inside your head like a spell but you wonder why…

“Why now? Why?”. That question comes out of your mouth without hesitation and yet your voice was trembling with an evident quiver.

“That’s because…”. Neuvillette gaze falters away from you, he didn’t know what to say. Did he even have a reason in the first place? 

“It’s alright. I was being impulsive… I’m sorry”. You gently spoke, cutting his word short as you quickly removed his gloved hand away from your left cheek. It was unreasonable to ask these questions that you knew he wouldn't have an answer to. 

“Look at me, y/n! Tell me exactly what you want to hear, something to enlighten those ears.” He unhesitatingly questions with a solemn frown.

You scoffed. He's making you feel so much rage and disappointment but guilty at the same time. It's infuriating to think that he's only using your emotions to understand himself but you couldn't get angry either because he's not even human to begin with. If perhaps he did understand your feelings there wasn't much he could do for you anyway. 

The difference between him and you is not something you could easily go up against just for your own selfishness.

"It's nothing". You quietly looked away in response.

"I just think… if I tell you, it'll be meaningless. I don't want you to understand me just because I want you to." You slowly added as you unwaveringly met his gaze. 

"But I…". He looked at you pleadingly.

"...I really want to understand you. I still didn't have the answer to your question and I couldn't understand myself either. It pains me so much that I kept thinking about you". He adds soulfully.

"No books could tell me about your thoughts, about your feelings, about how you perceived this world or me… I want to know these things, these little things that you've kept secret from me. Please enlighten me". He spoke slowly but a hint of desperation was clearly evident within his deep voice.

"I know you're trying to understand me… I-". You tried to belittle his reasons yet again. 

“I'm denying all the deception you speak of… it is only fair to speak out the truth”. He voiced the disconcerting things that had been kept inside his mind.

[ Eleven months ago ]

“Would you like a cup of coffee or tea?”. You questioned him with a small smile.

"A glass of water would be nice". He responded with a nod.

Unquestioningly you nodded in response, not surprised since that was what he would often request over any other drinks. After washing the glass available from the refreshment room you brought back a glass of water for him.

You would sometimes do these little gestures while he checked your documents every few times in a week. It actually felt a little awkward whenever you just stood in front of his office desk as he reviewed your work. So the idea of taking small tasks such as that was better to pass up some time.

He looked up at you and you thought you've made a mistake yet again with your paperwork.

"I've been wondering if you've been adding sugar into the water?". He suddenly asked before handing you the file of documents.

You took it already wondering if you could file in the documents into the record room. "No, it's fontaine regular filtered water".

"Is that so…" He paused, seemingly thinking of the matter.

"Yes." You want to ask him about the status of the documents but you didn't dare to cut through his words either.

He suddenly stood up, "Are there macaroons?"

You nodded, "Yes, would you like me to bring it for you?"

He nods.

"And about these documents?"

He looked at you briefly before seemingly just remembering the matter, "Leave it on my desk"

You nodded and did as told before heading out to take some macarons from the refreshment room. As you were just a few steps outside, you heard the door to his office open again. You turned your head over your shoulder only to see the chief justice walking out.

"Do you perhaps need something else?"

"I need another glass of water"

You nodded and he only walked towards you which you least expected. Despite that you didn't think much and just proceeded with your given task. Oddly enough, he ended up accompanying you to the refreshment room.

'He should've just got the macaroons himself or asked me to get the glass of water as well'. You think to yourself.

It's one of those feelings where you'd feel awkward to be in a room with your boss at work. Despite doing nothing wrong, it just wasn't that enjoyable. Perhaps seeing his face reminds you of your unfinished work.

He immediately took a glass of water and slowly drank it as if it was wine.

"I shall send this to your office room now". You informed him after arranging a few macaroons into a plate.

He looked at you, "If I may ask, where did you acquire the water?".

He spoke of that same odd question again.

"It's from here".

"Hmm…". He seems to ponder seemingly thinking about matter with a slight frown. 

"Did you perhaps forget to wash the glass before filling it up with water?"

"Of course not, I'd make sure to clean it". You started to feel worried about these odd questions.

"Forgive me, I simply wanted to know why the water you gave me tasted so different from regular Fontaine water". He explained as if sensing through your troubled facial expression. 

You couldn't help but slightly laugh, "How would… how would it taste any different?"

[ Present time ]

The truth? You sighed at his request.

"Fine." You nodded before walking towards the bench nearby. There weren't many passersby but rather than standing you'd at least minimise the odd occurrence between him and you.

It was crazy enough that he's seen outside instead of in the court. 

"This feels so awkward". You admitted as he sat down next to you.

He sighed, he already did and say all those insane things just for you to listen to him and yet you still think the whole situation is awkward. He didn't quite get it. Was he the problem here? 

"Right, so the truth…" You subconsciously placed both of your hands to cover your face. Turns out it was difficult to say these simple things.

"You know it already, why are you making me say this". You whined, trying to escape from saying it.

"Whatever it is, I'll believe you. Please, go on ahead and tell me". His eyes glistened as he blinked his eyes to gently hold his gaze onto yours, but you couldn't read his thoughts and intentions as his expression remained gentle and calm, the only thing out of the ordinary was the way he looked at you, which couldn't seem to break its connection with yours.

Without a single word he moved his head close to your cheek, before softly kissing it as a sign to reassure you once more.

Your resolute thoughts to reject him crumble down into a hazy fog of lightness, as if your soul was being pulled into a realm of fairies where the sparkling pixie dust would blind your judgments.

You gasped, your own lungs forced you to breathe. It felt like he was veiling you with an enchantment and you couldn't help but doubt your feelings for him once more.

"I…". You turned to face him with your eyes closed. Somehow, you knew that looking at him directly would only eliminate your focus.

"I love you very much. I know it's silly, maybe I'm just infatuated and to be honest I have no plausible reasons behind these feelings." You sighed.

"Before it's too late, I'd rather-" 

A wide smile crept up his lips. That was exactly what he wanted to hear. He waited for a long time. 

"You..." He suddenly spoke and you opened your eyes to look at him. 

In that instant you forgot the sentence you wanted to tell him. 'Before it's too late, I'd rather let you go' was what you wanted to say but those damn beautiful eyes have left your mind devoid of thoughts. All that was left was your lingering fondness for him. 

He stared into your eyes before he gently placed his forehead against yours. His warm breath brushed against your skin, yet he was also as silent as you were for a few seconds. 

"It was you... It has always been you."

He brushed his thumb against your cheek, his gaze unshakably focused on you.

"You're everything I've ever wanted, please don't tell me otherwise because how am I supposed to believe my own judgements when I can't even understand myself."

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A/N: intentionally wanted them to be emotionally difficult XD and here I am having a difficult time trying to put on their shoes. I hope his story quest (which I haven't do) will give me inspo for part 3. I want to reveal some truth about him towards her. But of course, let me know if I should continue this.

The Duke's story is halfway done but then I've started another Hai's story (the regular Elucidation Duo) and I miss writing the Inexpressible Duo.