#like the idea of that is just fascinating to me

[juney-blues]

June Egbert is, and always has been incredibly fascinating to me because of just, how many factors have conspired to make Homestuck fans show their collective transmisogynistic asses.

The main character of Homestuck transitioning is a planned future plot point for the official continuation of homestuck, that was spoiled in advance by a fan making a joke about finding some toblerones Andrew Hussie the author of homestuck hid in a cave.

The current main writers of Homestuck: Beyond Canon have went on record in an AMA confirming that this was indeed always the plan, even before they took up the project.

In spite of these facts, the general consensus among certain homestuck fans seems to be that "June Egbert" is purely a headcanon for the original comic that was "made canon" by a "Toblerone Wish" (a concept that didn't even exist at the time)

For a variety of reasons, the "canonicity" of the postcanon official continuations of homestuck is a mattter of much debate, (though a debate that most homestuck fans seem to err on a side of "it's not canon at all in the slightest," something the writers have feelings on I'm sure.)

All of these factors combined leave the concept of "June Egbert" in a very nebulous place. It's assumed by most to just be an "ascended headcanon" that was shoehorned in, it's a spoiler so it hasn't happened yet in any official media, and the official media it will eventually happen in is regarded by some to be nothing more than glorified fanfic.

If someone is talking about June Egbert, and you don't like the concept of June Egbert, you have your pick of a million different excuses for why she's fake and gay and not worth discussing and bad writing and just the authors doing a gay dumbledore*, paying lip service to representation while actually doing nothing.

And of course, lots of people *don't* like June Egbert! Rather than being introduced as transfem from the start, she's in this nebulous position of discovery where people have to truly reckon with the idea of a "Pre-transition Trans Woman."

You can try to write off *some* of the backlash as transphobia, because obviously not everyone in this fandom is gonna be cool about trans people.

But there's no shortage of fans just dying to tell you about how much they like reading her as transmasc, or the idea of her being nonbinary or genderqueer or genderfluid, or literally anything besides a trans woman. And since they're fine with all those other interpretations, there's obviously no implicit biases driving their distaste for the concept! (if you want to try explaining the concept of "transmisogyny" to people like this you're braver than I.)

you can trust them when they say it's *just* a problem with whether or not it makes sense with the writing, or it just doesn't feel right somehow, or any of the thousands of excuses that this writing situation gives them to just Not Like It.

It's just, so interesting to me. There's not a lot of characters out there that get a trans arc in this way, that leaves room for open denialism and insistence that we have our trans cake and eat it too... Because Homestuck is a timeline spanning multiverse story, lots of people seem to want it to be an alternate timeline thing. Assuring us we can have this character share space with a non-transitioning version of herself and it won't be weird or imply gross things about trans people.

If you ask me it feels like a plotline that'd be really good for exploring some gender horror though, finding your true self and then being demoted to a footnote, an alternate version, because everyone around you likes your pre-transition self more....

Anyway I have no broader point beyond "hey look at this isn't this kinda weird. You don't get this kinda stuff often!"

*side note: it's a little ghoulish I think to compare "a future trans plot point that hasn't been given the chance to even happen yet, in an already famously queer piece of media, from a nonbinary author" to "some stupid shit done by the literal most famous transphobe of all time" but that's perhaps a discussion for later.

[reidmania]

opposites attract | s. reid

summary; spencer would give the world to be your person, even after you argue that you two are too different.

warnings; fem reader, pining!spencer, lowkey pining!reader, bombshell!reader, rejection, reader is described as confident and more of a black cat, insecurities, doubting, a bad date mentioned, happy ending, spencer lowkey gets frustrated, reader has tattoos.

an; messy and switches perspectives whoopsies. Idk how many words, a lot. Too many.

Two years. That was how long Spencer had been a complete and utter mess. Two years since his brain didn’t quite function the same, he remained intelligent, sure, but god so incomplete. Two years since you started at the BAU, two years since he met you.

You were out of his league. He had decided it the moment he laid eyes on you. You were stunning, absolutely perfect in anyones gaze. You were everything he could ever want and more, not just physically. Your laugh, your voice, the way you spoke to everyone around you, gentle, warm. The way you sat quietly in the corner most days, not because you felt out of place, nor shy, not because you didn’t enjoy being there, but just because no matter where in a room you were, your presence was known. Especially to Spencer.

He tried to pretend that he didn’t fall completely in love with you the first time the two of you ever had a conversation and you spoke to him with a smile, listened to him, he tried to pretend the scent of your perfume didn’t make him lightheaded, and the sight of your tattoo that he only saw on occasion’s didn’t make him wonder if you had more, what made you get it, was there meaning?

Spencer wanted to know everything about you, he wanted to live in your brain and know your every like and dislike, what made you smile a little wider, what made you unable to stop laughing, what your favourite drink was, what colour you liked the most, where your family was from, your middle name.

Spencer would stop the world to know you.

That was impossible to hide, even two years later. He tried, so many times to get your attention, to be the subject of your fascination. It didn’t help that every-time you looked in his direction his skin grew ten temperatures too warm and his head spun.

He tried asking you out, twice. Sort of.

The first time was too subtle, too rambling and hidden in the mix of stutters and hot cheeks, fidgeting hands. Because you were looking at him, with a gaze so intense and caring, patient.

How was he ever suppose to talk when you were looking at him like that? Like there was something that made him worth the gravity the warmth in your eyes held.

“Would you date me?” It was blurted out on a Tuesday afternoon, you were standing beside him as the buzz of the bullpen had calmed down, your gaze was focused on reorganising the files on his desk, his gaze was on you. You were reorganising because you didn’t like the way he had done it, and it had been ‘bugging’ you for weeks.

Spencer loved the way his files were organised, but he loved you more.

It was stupid, he didn’t even mean to say it. It was out of place leaving his lips and he knew it the moment your head turned towards him and a sweet laugh left your lips, not mocking him, god you would never. It was a laugh of shock, confusion, maybe even surprise.

“Are you asking me out?” You asked, raising your eyebrow slightly as you met his eyes. His cheeks heated before he could help it, eyes went wide because he had no idea what he was doing.

“What- I- no.” His voice was an octave higher, a tell sign he was nervous, if you needed any more tell signs between the fidgeting of his hands, his bright pink cheeks and his avoidant gaze. You smiled as you shook your head, looking back at the files on his desk, he watched your hand as your ran your finger along them once they were organised neatly, anyone else he might’ve cringed at the sight, but it was you.

“I don’t think so” You had mumbled in response and Spencer felt the world shift into an imbalance. You said it so casually. He didn’t know if his heart was beating too fast or if it was breaking. You turned your head back to look at him, a frown on your lips when you saw the frown that had snuck its way onto his features before he could even realise.

“Not because you aren’t great. Or attractive. You are — You definitely are. I just think we are too different.” You said. His eyebrows knitted together as he met your eyes. He hated the fact you were frowning, he hated the fact he was frowning. He hated what you had just said, god he loved you.

“Right” he didn’t know what to say.

“Spence” You spoke through a warm huff of laughter, shaking your head as you twisted your body to face him fully, your hip leaning against the desk as you crossed your arms over your chest. He watched your hair fall down the sides of your face, over your shoulders. He wondered if you had changed your shampoo since the last time, the only time you had hugged him a few weeks ago, when he had gotten the chance to breath it in, and then it was all he thought about for weeks.

You smiled at him and it was contagious, despite the ache in his chest and overwhelming sense of illness in his stomach, you were smiling. “I think you’re amazing, i always have” you started and his cheeks warmed more. “But we are complete opposite’s.”

He wanted to argue you. Say that he could change and be more like you, more like the guys he had seen pick you up after work, he could be whatever you wanted. He could be someone. Someone to you.

But he didn’t.

That was the last time Spencer had attempted to ask you out, you never bought it up. You never questioned it again, you didn’t push you ask why he wanted to know. Spencer remained sickeningly in love with everything about you, you remained pretending to not notice.

Why were you here? You couldn’t quite remember or find the time to think about it properly between the noise surrounding the fancy restaurant you were in and the sickening long rant the boy in front of you was going on. Something about a business, something about saving it, something egotistical and sickeningly boring.

The date starts out fine. It’s all small talk at first—work, hobbies, the usual pleasantries. But soon, you realize that Mark has a lot to say. About himself. A lot.

“And then I closed the deal,” he says, recounting some work story about how he single-handedly saved his company from financial ruin. He leans back in his chair, smiling like he’s just told you the most fascinating thing in the world. You nod politely, but your mind starts to wander. His voice fades into the background as you think about something else, someone else.

Spencer.

You wonder what he’s doing right now. Probably at home, curled up with a book, or maybe he’s watching a documentary. You can almost picture him, pacing around his apartment, muttering facts to himself about some obscure topic that no one but him finds interesting. But you love that about him. He’s so passionate about everything, even the things that most people would overlook. And he’s never trying to show off. He just loves sharing what he knows.

You try to pay attention to the guy in front of you, you really really do. But god he is so boring. You wonder how quickly you could get one of your friends to come save you from this horror of a date. You wonder how long you would have to hide in the bathroom for before he disappeared.

Mark’s voice pulls you back to reality. “So, what do you think?” he asks.

“Hmm?” You blink, realizing you’ve missed the last five minutes of whatever he was talking about.

“I was saying,” he repeats, a little slower this time, “I just think it’s amazing how people like me can juggle so many things at once. Don’t you think?”

You smile, but it’s strained. “Sure, that’s impressive.”

As the date drags on, you start to notice little things. Like the way Mark talks to the waiter, snapping his fingers for attention, barely looking up from his phone when the waiter brings the food. He doesn’t say thank you. Not once. It’s subtle, but it grates on you. You find yourself cringing, wondering if anyone else notices.

He was much more interesting when he asked you out a few nights ago at a bar, when you were drunk. Why had you agreed? Maybe drunk you saw something sober you didn’t. Or maybe drunk you just saw a male who was conventionally attractive and made you laugh. You wondered how low the bar was

You didn’t have a lot of time to wonder before you heard your name from behind you, your head spun and you almost cried with gratefulness when you saw Penelope standing there, a wide grin on her face, and then Spencer standing beside her, he offered you a gentle shy wave that made your heart warm.

“Oh my gosh! Do you guys want to come sit?” You asked, praying they said yes, praying that Penelope noticed the wide urgent look in your eyes and understood that you were begging. You were genuinely begging for a conversation about anything other than Mark’s biggest accomplishments.

“Oh- We don’t want to interrupt.” Spencer mumbled, looking between you and Mark, the two of you sitting opposite sides of the booth you were in. You noticed the look in Spencer’s eye, you knew what it was. He didn’t want to sit there while you were on a date with someone else. Clearly he misread the urgency in your gaze.

“No! Mark doesn’t mind? Do you mind Mark?” You asked, spinning your head around to face Mark who was confused on the two people and why they were talking to you. Why they had interrupted him. You had to hold back the urge to roll your eyes.

“Uh..” he started, you cut him off. “He doesn’t mind. Come sit.” You shuffled over to make room for the two.

Penelope slides into the booth beside you, while Spencer takes the seat across from you, next to Mark. He looks nervous, his fingers tapping against the edge of the table, but he offers you a small, shy smile.

“What are you guys doing here?” you ask, trying to suppress the excitement bubbling up inside you.

“Oh, we were just nearby, and I figured we’d grab something to eat,” Penelope says.

Spencer fidgets with his napkin, glancing at you, then back at the table. “I-I was telling Penelope about this, uh, documentary I watched the other night. It’s about the history of the subway system in New York. I think you’d really like it.”

You raise an eyebrow. “Really?”

He nods, his eyes lighting up as he starts to explain. “Yeah, it’s fascinating, actually. They had to navigate all these geological challenges, and the engineering behind it is incredible. I know you mentioned once that you’re interested in architecture, and I thought you might appreciate how they designed the stations.”

You stare at him for a moment, surprised. You don’t even remember telling him that you liked architecture, but he did. And now, here he is, rambling about a documentary he thinks you’d enjoy, not because he’s trying to impress you, but because he genuinely thought you’d find it interesting.

Meanwhile, Mark is looking more and more uncomfortable, clearly not enjoying the conversation. He cuts in, talking over Spencer to launch into another story about himself, but you’re barely listening anymore. Instead, you’re watching Spencer, noticing how different he is from Mark. Spencer, who’s always so considerate, who listens more than he talks, who looks at you like you’re the most important person in the room, even when he’s nervous.

And then there’s Mark, who hasn’t asked you a single question all night, who’s rude to the waiter, and who’s more interested in hearing himself talk than getting to know you.

“I think I might head off..” Mark muttered, clearly annoyed at the fact you had not only been interrupted on your date, but also frustrated that you were paying more attention to Spencer than him. You couldn’t care less.

“Oh okay! Have a good night” You smiled, sickeningly nice as he shuffled his way past Spencer to leave the table. He glanced at you once, not saying anything before he walked away.

“He was an asshole!!” Penelope bursts out into laughter the minute Mark was out of earshot, you immediately joined her laughter while Spencer remained quiet, shuffling around on the now empty side of the booth.

“Those are the type of guys you go out with?” He asked, his voice was quiet, almost offended. You wish you understood why when you stopped laughing at met his gaze. You opened your mouth to talk as the tension around the table grew.

“Hey! Don’t judge!” She gasped out, pointing her finger dramatically at Spencer, clearly not noticing his underlying feelings and why he had even said anything, you did. “It’s slim pickings out here!!”

Spencer hummed, tapping his fingers against the table as he avoided meeting your gaze. You frowned slightly. Soon enough the conversation fell back into rhythm, flowing like it did any other time. They ate, you paid since it was your date. Then Penelope left.

You stood outside of the restaurant, looking around the busy streets. “How are you getting home?” Spencer asked, his gaze meeting yours as you tilted your head upwards to look at him, you couldn’t not smile. It was impossible not to smile around Spencer.

“Uh- Walking. I walked. It’s really not far.” You nodded to support your words as you buried your hands inside the warmth of your pockets. You had been in a state since Spencer had gotten there, a state you couldn’t quite explain. Silently lost in thought, a state of confusion? Maybe realisation.

“I’ll walk you home. Its late.” He said it like it was a no brainer. Like it was the most obvious thing for him to do. No date you had ever been on had offered you walk you home.

Every time Spencer speaks, you feel yourself softening, smiling without even realizing it. His nervous energy, the way he fumbles over his words, it’s all so endearing. He’s not trying to prove anything to you. He just wants to share the things he loves with you, and it’s the sweetest thing.

“Okay.” You breathe out the silent agreement before your feet find rhythm next to Spencer’s as you walk down the street, the post lights causing an orange glow across the ground, across his face.

“Theres a study.” Spencer started, his breathe coming out warm against the cold air causing a fog of steam to follow his breath, you watched it for an moment before your eyes flickered to the side of his face, you’re still walking, his gaze doesn’t meet yours.

“That uh— Shows that opposites attract, it’s more of a theory, since scientifically it doesn’t actually work like that — although negatives are attracted to positives if you’re looking at electricity — but uh- People believe that a lot of people are attracted to people opposite them, because each person offers something the other lacks, making the relationship feel more complete.. Majority of relationships that are built off of opposites work better than people who are too similar because theres more of a balance.. its chaotic but, it uh — it works.”

He was nervous. You could tell. Your breath hitched slightly as he spoke, as he brought it up again. Your mind tried to process the overload of information he had mumbled out. You tried to process it.

“So scientifically we wouldn’t work.” You huffed out. He laughed. Genuinely laugh, it was breathy and quiet but genuine and it made your heart warm.

“Technically— but theoretically—”

You cut him off, a rare occurrence, “I thought you were a science guy.” You mumbled.

He was quiet for a moment before he spoke. “I think I am just a you guy.”

You didn’t know what to say. It was sweet in a way that your brain couldn’t process. He was going against everything he believed to be correct because he wanted you?

“I thought data and statistics are the most reliable source of information.” You mumbled the response, words he had said, probably months ago. Why were you fighting him on this? Why were you fighting yourself on this? You weren’t sure.

“Sure; most of the time. But they are subjective. Especially when talking about psychologically. Each couple, each set of people — they’re different.” He said, his gaze didn’t meet yours. You pulled your eyes away to focus on the street in front of you. You were getting closer to your house, yet part of you wanted to stay right here.

“You think we could work?” You asked. It was a whisper.

He paused, you could see him nod in your peripheral. “I do. I’d make it work, i’d do anything.” Maybe it came out more desperate than he had intended, you found it sweet.

You found him sweet.

“Spencer” you paused your movements and his stopped with yours. His body turned to face you as you looked up at him. His eyes were pleading, desperate, hoping. It almost made your heart ache at the slight fear in them, that you were going to maybe reject him again.

But you found him sweet.

“Id date you.” You answered the question he had asked maybe months ago now, you didn’t realise until now that you had conveniently stopped outside your house. You turned your head to look at the front door before back at Spencer.

“Can i- uh- Will you- I-“ He stuttered and your heart warmed at his nervous attempt to ask you out.

“Yes.” You answered gently, saving him the hassle. Maybe being different was a good thing. Maybe you could beat the statistics that proved otherwise.

Maybe opposites did attract.

[bitchfitch]

My mother's bf had a fairly major surgery (he's fine and recovering well DW) and he's going to be housebound for his birthday this year, so I've been enlisted to come up with a fancy birthday meal for the special birthday boy that's primarily fruit and veg, sweeter than savory, and is something he's never had before.

Bc I'm making watermelington. It's beef Wellington, but watermelon. bc my mom only found out recently you can use watermelon as a tuna substitute. And I know that you can substitute most higher quality beef cuts with tuna or salmon.... usually. Anyways the idea fascinates her so I'm hoping to use that for bonus points.

Now he's off his ass on pain killers so I can't like. Ask him if he's ever had something before. so to meet my brief I've decided to just. commit a novel hate crime against the British I guess.

Anyways. I'm writing this because I need to walk myself through this process and think it'll be surreal enough to be worth taking y'all along for.

So, Beef Wellington. In its most basic bitch arrangement is a beef tenderloin wrapped in prosciutto/really thin bacon, with a layer of mushroom and onion mush, that has been further wrapped in mustard slathered puff pastry.

We will be ship of Theseusing this. bc beef Wellington is like. the opposite of what he wants. Which is why it's funny.

Puff pastry-> it's still just puff pastry

this one doesn't have to change (aka I can't be fucked to do pastry prep and I'm just gonna use store bought it's Fine.)

the prosciutto is also just going to be prosciutto.

Thin meat

Beef tenderloin-> watermelon,

Tbh this is a pretty 1 to 1 substitution. I'll bake the slices at like. 250-300 for an hour or so ahead of the rest of prep to dry it out a bit. bc you can't like. Sear watermelon to seal in the water like you can beef. By definition it's a very wet fruit (like me when I fall into the lake). Ill Add salt and chili and lime juice while baking maybe. this is the easy part

The mushroom mush-> salsa done bad style

As the word mush implies, this is meant to be a very soft mix. It adds a lot of nuttiness to the wellington that rounds out all of the salt from the meats. I'm replacing it with white person salsa(the birthday boy can't handle spice). Tomato, lime juice, parsley, avocado, cucumber, feta, and maybe mango so I can have an excuse to have a lil mango treat. I said I wasn't making it spicy. I'm still putting a bit of chili in it. bc it'll be better like that. This is also a ridiculously wet bit of mush, Even the original mushrooms have too much water. I'll figure something out.

Mustard -> jelly

He lives in a big city. those preserve sections are massive. I'll find a weird one. maybe apricot.

Prep:

We're in the mind palace kitchen, I have not attempted any of this. We're just thinking real hard about it and I'll edit as needed on the day and post results.

The watermelon

Preheat oven to eh. 300f? We want low and slow to dry things out without it taking a year. but idk what his oven is like. If it's gentle I'll bump it up another ten-twenty.

Slather some watermelon slices in salt chili powder and lime juice mixture.

bake for 30 min on a wire rack or directly on the oven racks (after cleaning thoroughly) if he doesn't have a wire rack. with a drip try underneath to catch the drippage. check frequently. Have one slice that's for being poked to see if it's approaching being meat. Bake longer if needed.

Salsa bad style

chop everything up and add it to a pan with some oil in it. Tbh I don't think the type of oil you use for cooking matters if you're not like, getting near any smoke points. Most people can't tell the difference unless you made your food bland as hell.

Anyways there's some wildly different moisture contents on the list so there has to be an Order to cook off as much water as possible without getting yucky.

Tomatoes and cucumbers go in together with some salt to get the cucs softening, then the mango chunks and lime juice. Once most of the water is gone the avocado feta and parsley can go in. There is a good amount of water in avocados but they're delicate and don't pan fry well, so we're just going to ignore their water crimes and hope for the best. They just need to be evenly mixed through the rest of the mush.

Putting it together

lay out the puff pastry, cut into sections to wrap each watermelon slice individually with.

Slather in jam

Take the prosciutto and lay it out on half of each section of the pastry,

spoon the salsa onto that

Melon

Another layer of salsa

another layer of thin meat

Fold the pastry over the top and pinch the edges bc watermelon slices are not a rollable shape and I don't want to carve a watermelon into a tube for this because that sounds irritating.

Brush with egg wash and more parsley

Cook in oven following the pastry's preferred temp and time. it's fucking watermelon, you're not getting ecoli from it.

watermelington :)

I'm serving it with baked sweet potatoes and spinach based salad with whatever toppings are left over from making the salsa.

anyways thank you for joing me on this thought experiment. I will post updates once the deed is done. I'm sorry to every British person ever.

[megalony]

Bedroom Talk- Part 3

Here is the newest part of this Eddie Diaz series, thank you to the lovely anon who gave me the idea for this. I hope you will all like it.

Taglist: @justagirlthatlovedtoread @musicistheway @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @luula @missdreamofendless @bradleybeachbabe @woderfulkawaii @amberpanda99 @daggersquadphantom @marvel-and-chicago-fan @angryknightstatesmantrash @minjix @lyje @kmc1989 @itsmytimetoodream @noonenuts @hiireadstuff @ashie-babie @classyunknownlover @jayyeahthatsme @sp1ritssz @dumb-fawkin-bitch @oliverstarksbae @gimatida @heart-35 @supernaturalstilinski @kyky9103 @wutheringhearts2275 @gay4hotmilfs @itshamleth @chaoticnosleepinfluencer @gs29 @wh0reforsmutstuff @mel-vaz @natashamea18 @chrisevansdaughter @alexandra848484 @deena-beena-weena @targaryenluvs @kpoplover-19 @marvelmenarebeautiful @gillybear17

@zoeybennett @mrspeacem1nusone @zephyrmonkey @estella-novella @eleventhdoctorsangel @kniselle @senjoritanana @shauna-carsley @dottierose @cfdhouse51 @darkfemme1 @rainechase45 @lolalolsstuff @jupiter1700 @ashdoctor @an-aliens-ghost @lunaroserites @houseoftwistedspirits @callsignwidow @winterreader-nowwriter @reneinii @bellsbomb @western-pyro @itsgigikay @harry-satellite @midsummereve1993 @babyqueen17 @buckyyyismahhlife @sammiejane22

Eddie Diaz Masterlist

Bedroom Talk Masterlist

Summary: Eddie doesn't want to go through the struggle of another pregnancy, after the complications (Y/n) had last time. But things get complicated when she gets pregnant again.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A smile flashed across (Y/n)'s face and she set the basket of washing down so she could look across the bed at Lilah. The three year old was sat cross-legged in the middle of the bed, her head turned to one side and her arms bound around the latest teddy that had become her infatuation.

Moving forward, (Y/n) perched down on the end of the bed and watched her daughter shuffle closer. Her eyes wide with curiosity and a grin splashed across her dimpled face.

"Is it a boy?" Her nose scrunched up as she pulled a face and looked down at (Y/n)'s stomach.

They had deliberately waited until they were twenty weeks and until (Y/n) started to show before they told the kids they were having another baby. It felt safest. Neither (Y/n) or Eddie wanted to jump the gun and tell the kids in case any problem or complication happened and they had to think about terminating the pregnancy.

And both of them had been waiting for something to go wrong. It felt too good to be true that nothing had gone wrong so far. They were taking things one day at a time, trying their best not to get too eager or excited or too attached. Just in case.

(Y/n) could feel her smile softening and she felt shivers running down her spine when Lilah leaned across to rub her stomach.

"I don't know yet."

They had decided not to find out. They didn't know the gender when they had Chris, but that had been because Eddie had been away in the army and he was already missing so much of the pregnancy. (Y/n) didn't want to find out on her own.

They knew when they had Lilah, but this time, it felt better not to know. That stopped them from drowning in hope in case something happened. And it was almost a superstition for (Y/n). She knew with Lilah and that pregnancy had been horrid. Not knowing might just help her have a better pregnancy this time.

Their new motto was 'third time lucky'.

"Can it be a boy?" Lilah shuffled over and snuggled into (Y/n)'s side, curving around her stomach to cuddle into her.

It felt nice to be cuddling like this. God knows when she had Lilah, Chris had been rather weary. He wanted to hug (Y/n) and comfort her so badly when she was sick, but he didn't want to hurt her. At least so far, he wasn't afraid and (Y/n) wasn't extremely ill.

And this was the first time Lilah had seen (Y/n) pregnant, she was finding it fascinating, although (Y/n) knew she wasn't pleased about not being the youngest anymore.

"Why?" Reaching up, (Y/n) slowly started to card her fingers through the three year old's hair, brushing the locks away from her face.

"I wanna be the only girl."

"We'll have to wait and see." (Y/n) couldn't make any promises but if the baby was a girl, Lilah would just have to learn. It wouldn't be much different if the baby was a boy, she would still have to learn to share her parent's attention and play and be around a younger sibling.

"Why's baby there?" Lilah nuzzled her face against (Y/n)'s stomach and patted her hand there for a few moments.

"That's just where baby's grow, where you came from." (Y/n) wasn't ready for this line of conversation, and she found herself overwhelmed with relief when she heard the front door open and subsequently slam shut. "I think daddy's home."

She managed to press a kiss to the top of Lilah's head before the toddler was squealing and clambering off the bed so she could trot out of the room and find Eddie. Since his shift finished earlier today, he had gone to pick Chris up from school whereas Lilah had been at home with (Y/n) today, she wasn't in nursery full time yet.

It was a relief; (Y/n) didn't want to try and have that conversation with Lilah, she was far too young. She'd had enough amusement last time when Chris kept asking Eddie so many questions. Her favourite had been when he asked Eddie how he put the baby there; something Eddie didn't know how to answer.

Moving her hands to the bed, (Y/n) pushed herself up to her feet and turned round to reach for the washing basket again. She held the basket in front of her, trying not to tilt back and lean it against her bump.

She was only twenty-four weeks, but her bump was starting to get more prominent and Eddie was slowly thawing out and coming round to the idea of another baby. He wanted another, but the risks were still haunting him and the memory of last time stopped him from mellowing out.

It was almost as if Eddie had been believing they weren't having a baby, but now (Y/n) was starting to show and there was no going back, he was allowing himself to get a bit eager.

"Mum!"

"Hi baby," (Y/n) juggled the basket under one arm and wrapped her free arm around Chris when he hurried over to her. She pressed a kiss to his curls and ran her hand up and down his back. "Good day at school?"

"Yeah, science was fun." That was his favourite lesson. He had a love for all things inquizitive and Chris loved to watch documentaries with Buck and learn new information.

"That's good." She ran her hand up and down his side while Chris kissed her stomach. When he finally unravelled from her side, he moved to head into his room and (Y/n) walked ahead down the hall, aiming for the kitchen.

She paused in the hall, leaning against the kitchen doorway as she stared ahead at Eddie and their girl near the front door. Clearly, Eddie had barely got through the door before Lilah tackled him.

Her teddy was long forgotten on the floor and her arms were deadlocked around Eddie's neck as he picked her up and cocooned her into his chest. He pressed a dozen kisses to her cheeks and bounced her in his arms, clearly loving the welcoming he had received.

He pressed a few more kisses to her cheeks causing her to giggle in his arms, and when his eyes looked ahead and set on (Y/n), his grin softened like melting butter.

"Alright princess, you go find us a movie to watch, I'll be there in a minute." Eddie pressed another kiss to Lilah's temple before he leaned over and gently set her down to her feet.

He watched her scramble for her teddy and disappear into the living room and he just knew that when he went back through there in a few minutes, there would be a DVD mess. She would scatter all the movies along the floor to find the one she wanted to watch, it would be like an explosion happened in there.

Eddie kicked off his boots and made a beeline for (Y/n), following her into the kitchen when she started to walk.

"Good shift?" She called over her shoulder causing Eddie to smile, but he found his eyes narrowing when he watched her.

She had the wash basket tucked under her left arm, but her right hand moved to press into her lower back. A cringe tore through Eddie when he heard her spine click when she applied some pressure, and he saw the way it caused (Y/n) to wince.

(Y/n) paused and leaned into the counter on her right when she felt Eddie pressing up behind her. She grinned and hummed, tilting her head when his lips attached to the side of her neck and she felt his arm loop around the right side of her chest just beneath her arm.

"Rather slow today." He murmured the words against her neck, barely letting his lips leave her skin. "Give me that, amor."

A jolt tore through (Y/n)'s system and her lips parted when the basket beneath her arm was suddenly whisked out of her hold. She dropped to the left as if following the washing but quickly recovered her balance enough to look over her shoulder at her husband. She arched a brow and hummed when he swooped in for a kiss, clearly trying to distract her.

"I can do it." (Y/n) pulled on his lower lip and reached her hand out for the basket, but Eddie simply tutted against her mouth and shook his head. "Baby," She twisted to look at him but Eddie was already unravelling from her and moving towards the washer.

He held the basket in one hand as if it weighed nothing more than a pillow and (Y/n) couldn't help but shiver.

"So your back isn't hurting?" Eddie glanced over his shoulder as he leant down and started loading the washer, waiting for (Y/n) to protest and try to lie to him. But she rolled her lips together and glanced down at the floor rather than at his expression that was enough to melt her into a puddle.

"It's just a bit sore." She mumbled defeatedly, seeing as Eddie was already doing the job she had tried to start and there was no use arguing with him.

"So sit down and I'll sort the washing."

Moving over to stand behind him, (Y/n) looped her arms around his torso and pressed her cheek against his back. She loved the feeling of Eddie's chest vibrating as he quietly chuckled and carried on. He leaned from one side to the next, loading the machine and turning it on while (Y/n) stayed attached to him like a monkey.

"Go sit down," Eddie urged quietly as he paused in front of the sink, trying his best to look over his shoulder but he couldn't get a clear view of (Y/n). Not with the way she was clinging to his back like this.

"I'm fine."

"You really think you're gonna convince me?"

Trying to be careful, he turned around in (Y/n)'s embrace so his back was leant against the counter and he folded his arms over his chest, leaning back when (Y/n) leant forward. He couldn't stop his lips from curving into a smile when she perched her chin on his forearms and squeezed her arms around his torso.

(Y/n) didn't believe she could convince him, she wasn't sure why she was still trying, so she settled for smiling sweetly at him instead.

"We said we'd be cautious this time," With a sigh, Eddie uncrossed his arms and looped them around the back of (Y/n)'s shoulders instead. "So, if your back hurts, sit down and rest. Please."

Her lips curved into a smile when she felt Eddie's lips smothering her temple and she felt his fingers ghosting up and down her back, tracing over her spine. Pushing forward, (Y/n) pressed her temple into Eddie's chest, inhaling the scent of the cherry shower gel he always used when he got a shower at work.

Eddie was relieved that this pregnancy seemed to be going far better than when they had Lilah. The morning sickness wasn't nearly as bad as last time and (Y/n) wasn't sick to her stomach at the smell of food or laid in bed with no energy to get herself up at all.

But if she didn't feel well or something was wrong, Eddie needed her to tell him and to go sit down. He wasn't taking any chances this time. If she had back ache Eddie didn't want her making it any worse by trying to do everything around the house; that was what he was here for. If she pushed herself too hard or strained too much she could have another abruption like last time and he wasn't risking it.

He would much rather play it safe and he wanted (Y/n) to relax and have as little stress as possible this time around.

"Well then you need to sit with me, I haven't seen you all day."

Retracting her arms from Eddie's back, (Y/n) trailed her fingertips up his chest until she could cup his neck. Her thumb traced the tip of his jaw and along his chin before she pushed up on her toes to catch him in a kiss.

If she was going to go and sit down, then he had to accompany her so she wouldn't be so lonely.

She could feel him smiling down into the kiss and his tongue traced her lower lip while he shifted his hands to hold her hips. His fingertips squeezed lovingly into her flesh and he pressed against her, pushing off the counter so he could gently walk her backwards. If he had to sit with her to get her to rest, he was more than happy to oblige.

His hands stayed on her hips, even as their lips finally detached and (Y/n) turned so she could see where she was going rather than walk backwards blindly. She felt his lips attaching to the back of her head and she couldn't bite back her smile when his hand slid round from her hip to her stomach instead.

This is what (Y/n) felt like she had missed out on last time. They had spent the majority of her second pregnancy just panicking and feeling crappy and thinking the worst. Eddie hadn't been there when she had Chris and then with Lilah, those touches and hugs and kisses were laced with panic and pain.

(Y/n) liked this, where Eddie would wrap around her or feel the baby start to move and they didn't have to panic that something was going to go wrong. Or she didn't feel deflated and drained and like she was on death's door.

It was relieving that Eddie was finally letting himself get close to this baby, he was reaching out for her and touching. Rather than trying to detach from the situation and hold back his enthusiasm.

When they walked into the living room, Eddie shifted his right hand from (Y/n)'s hip to clamp his hand down on his own hip. His head tilted to one side and he huffed, arching a brow when he looked at their daughter.

As expected, the three year old was sat on the floor, DVDs scattered all around her and a cheeky smile lighting up her face as she seemed to have found the one she wanted to watch.

"Did a bomb go off in here?" Eddie mused, staring his daughter down when she looked up at him and just grinned.

A giggly "Exploded!" left Lilah's lips before she waved the DVD out towards Eddie, showing him the one she wanted him to put on the tv for her.

Eddie pressed a lasting kiss to the side of (Y/n)'s head and waited for her to ease down onto the sofa before he moved over to Lilah. He crouched down in front of her and took the case from her and he brushed his free hand beneath her chin, tilting her head up towards him.

"Be my hero and put them back for me, princess." He pecked her temple and motioned to the cases.

As usual, he noticed that Lilah started to organise the cases in piles of colours. She would group them together and then line them up in the cabinet in order of the rainbow colours. It bugged Chris, who liked them in order of release since they were mostly Disney movies and had the collection numbers on the sleeves.

"Good girl." Once she'd sorted them into piles, Eddie swooped down and picked her up, spinning her around to hear her squeal before he sat down on the sofa with her on his lap.

***

"Mum…" Tilting his head back, Chris looked behind him at (Y/n) and slouched his shoulders back against the bottom of the sofa. He brought his knees up to his stomach and held the colouring book up for her to see the latest picture he had done.

Chris had a few of his school books scattered on the coffee table, but he had done the little bits of homework he needed to do. So he had switched to colouring, and he was working on a baking book that had lots of different cakes, cookies, desserts and designs to colour in.

"Looking good… why's that one green?" A soft grin formed on (Y/n)'s lips but she reached out to point at one of the cakes. The cake itself, Chris had coloured in orange, but the icing was bright lime green.

"Halloween theme."

"Oh. We'll have to make a cake this year, Bobby's throwing a halloween party."

"We going?" The excitement was clear in Chris's voice and he grinned up at (Y/n) when she leaned over to peck his temple.

"Of course."

Twisting on her side a little more, (Y/n) leaned her arm over and looped it around Chris's chest so she could give him a sideways hug. She was laid on the sofa with a cushion behind her back and Chris sat on the floor in front of her so he could both watch tv and do some colouring.

She ran her fingers through his messy curls and leaned over to watch him do some more colouring as he switched to a different page.

Her eyes cast over to the armchair and a smile softened on her lips when she looked at Lilah. She was curled up in the chair, cuddling one of the cushions, her head hanging dangerously close to the edge of the chair and a pacifier between her lips. She had been full of energy all morning so it was only right that she had a power nap now.

Pushing up on her elbow, (Y/n) tried to find the will power to sit herself up but it was hard when she had been laid here quite comfortably for the last hour or so.

The sound of footsteps caught her attention and she tilted her head back to see Eddie padding barefoot into the living room. He'd gotten a shower and seemingly gotten changed into some slacks. A familiar pair of joggers now hung low on his hips and one of his pyjama shirts clung tightly to his frame.

"Babe, her head," (Y/n) waved her hand towards Lilah to get Eddie's attention.

He crouched down in front of the chair, grinning widely as he carefully slipped his hand beneath her cheek and nudged her head back. He wriggled her shoulders back a little so she was curled up properly rather than half sliding off the chair.

A quiet "Thank you," passed (Y/n)'s lips and she swatted her hand down on Eddie's bum as he walked in front of her. He carefully climbed around Chris, ruffling his hair in the process before he slumped down next to (Y/n) on the sofa.

He carefully lifted her legs and laid them over his lap instead so he could slouch down into the sofa. His hand started trailing up and down (Y/n)'s leg and up towards her thigh and he began drawing patterns into her skin.

"Mum said we're going to a halloween party." Chris looked over his shoulder towards Eddie who rose a brow as a smile flooded his face.

"Yeah, at the end of the month buddy. You need to think of what you wanna dress up as." Eddie was rather excited for the party, they hadn't gone last year because (Y/n) hadn't been well and Eddie had been on shift, but this year all of the station were able to go. Bobby always threw a good party and it was tradition for the Diaz family to dress up.

Last year Chris had dressed up and Buck had taken him trick of treating for a while since Eddie was working. While Lilah stayed home with (Y/n).

Eddie went back to tracing his fingers up and down (Y/n)'s thigh, his eyes darting down to Chris every now and then as he started to stim and rock back and forth. Clearly happy and thinking hard about what he wanted to be for the party. He would change his mind quite a few times from now up until they got him a costume.

When his phone buzzed in his pocket, Eddie lifted his hips up and tried to fish his phone out of his pocket. But his eyes cast across to (Y/n) when her leg jerked on his lap and she winced.

"You okay?" His eyes cast down to her and he placed his phone on the armrest while his hand squeezed her thigh.

He watched the way (Y/n) glanced across at him and nodded, despite the way her cheek twitched when she winced. He leaned to the right so he was slouched a bit closer to her and his eyes ran up and down her frame, trying to find out what was wrong.

"Amor, what's wrong?" His words were whispered quietly against her arm as he leaned over and pecked her shoulder.

"Nothing, just jarred my ankle, I think I slept funny." (Y/n) coiled her knees up towards her stomach so she could trace her fingertips over her left ankle. She had been fine yesterday, but when she woke up today, her foot spasmed every now and then and she had an ache in the back of her ankle. It was probably the way she laid or tossed and turned during the night.

She smiled and burrowed her face down into the pillow, shimmying to get comfy again now that Eddie had slouched so he was almost laid behind her with her lower legs still draped over his lap.

"I can't see my feet anymore anyway." She grinned and reached her hand up to run her fingers up and down his arm.

She felt Eddie kiss her shoulder again before he sat back up straight and gingerly reached down for her ankle. He pulled up the bottom of her leggings so he could take a look and (Y/n) sucked her lower lip between her teeth to stop from wincing when he touched a sore spot at the back of her ankle.

"I think you might have sprained it."

"Sounds about right, doesn't hurt much though." They shared a look and Eddie's lips set into a stern line made (Y/n) shiver. That silent look told her that maybe she should have told him earlier and it wasn't very comforting to him that she wasn't in pain because she had still hurt herself.

After a few minutes, (Y/n) slowly lowered her legs from Eddie's lap and when she pushed up, she found her lips curving into a grin. His hand reached out for her elbow and he helped her sit up, his expression softening when (Y/n) pecked his cheek and squeezed his thigh.

She kept hold of his thigh and used him as leverage to push herself up to her feet, but a gasp tumbled past her lips when both Eddie's hands clamped down on her hips, preventing her from walking away. He didn't let go and when he gave a few tugs, (Y/n) gave in and sat back down.

She watched with intrigue as his arms looped around her waist and his lips attached to her neck.

"Where are you going?" He murmured against her neck, pulling her back so she was leaning into his chest which just made her more tired. She let her head rest on his shoulder but (Y/n) knew if she didn't move soon she would never have the will to get up again.

"To make dinner? Or aren't you hungry?"

"You've hurt your ankle and you're tired, just get some rest, I'll do it." Eddie gave her a pointed look when he saw the amusement light up her eyes.

"You can't cook." Affection flooded (Y/n)'s tone so he knew she wasn't trying to be rude or rebute his offer, but they all knew Eddie was no chef. He was more of a helping hand in the kitchen, cutting veg and washing the pots rather than actually frying or baking or making anything.

"Chris can supervise." Eddie looked down at their eldest who turned and nodded, already tossing his colours back into the box of pens and pencils. He enjoyed cooking, he would gladly help.

"Baby…" Reaching her hand up, (Y/n) gently cupped his jaw, gliding her thumb across his cheek as she caught him in a kiss. "I'm fine."

Eddie almost smiled against her lips when he felt her try to get up again while Chris had already toddled off into the kitchen. Kissing him wasn't going to distract him enough to make him give in on this. He tightened his hands on her hips and nudged her until she was laid back down on the sofa like she had been before. Their lips still attached as he moved onto his knees to lean over her.

He traced his hand along the side of her stomach and sucked her lower lip between his teeth before they finally parted and he moved around. He got up to his feet, staying stooped over so he could peck her lips again, and then her temple.

"I'd better not see you walking on that ankle for the rest of the day, mi amor. Bed rest it is."

A shiver ran through (Y/n)'s blood as she stared up at those dark eyes that were piercing through her like he was giving her an order she couldn't break.

"We're not taking any risks this time, remember?" He muttered against her temple, tracing his hand along her stomach again before he pulled back. His eyes glanced down to the armchair, checking that Lilah was still asleep and not about to fall off the chair before he headed into the kitchen to find Chris.

If (Y/n) was hurt or not feeling her best then he wanted her to sit down and take it easy. While he was home he would try and do what he could so that she didn't have to.

God knows if Eddie was at work when (Y/n) didn't feel well she would push through the feeling and try to ignore it. She couldn't exactly sit down when she had two kids to look after. So while Eddie was home, he would do everything.

***

Dragging her shirt over her head, (Y/n) pulled it down, but she stopped it just before her stomach. She traced her fingertips across her bump, unable to fight off a smile. Her shape was changing again.

It was still strange to be feeling like this for a third time. After agreeing not to have anymore kids and living each day with the knowledge that it was a risk, that history could repeat itself. And remembering how it had gone last time, it felt strange to be back in this position again.

But this time it was working out better. At least, better than with Lilah, and Eddie was experiencing it with her. They weren't feeling down or upset or in agony, and it was already going better than they expected.

They could finally start thinking of this as a third baby and not just worry that it would be a problem or a direct route to heartache.

The only thing they had to worry about was labour, and convincing the doctor that a C-section was the best course for this pregnancy. "We can worry about that later." (Y/n) murmured to her stomach as she ran her hands along her bump a few more times before she pulled her shirt down.

Her hands moved to her hair and she gathered it up into a ponytail and she turned towards the door. Lilah should be fast asleep by now with Eddie, and Chris would no doubt want to watch a movie before bed.

A gasp tumbled past (Y/n)'s lips and she slammed her arms out in front of her when a striking pain tore up the back of her left ankle which gave way beneath her.

Her eyes slammed closed on impact and her hands grappled for the sink when she fell against it. But she couldn't smother the tepid cry that left her lips when her knees crashed to the tiled floor which felt horrid as if her knees had just smashed on impact. Shakes tore through her body and she stayed curled over as low pulses tremored through her.

Moving her hands to her thighs, (Y/n) slumped round until she was sat on the floor with her legs curled awkwardly beneath her. She leaned against the sink, one hand gripping the basin to try and keep herself sitting up while her other hand dug into her thigh.

Another tremor rattled through her when she looked up and the bathroom door hurriedly opened.

Tilting his head to one side, Chris clung to the door and pushed into it like he was trying to camouflage himself into his surroundings. His eyes locked on his mum and he waited a few moments, trying to see if she was okay after the thud he had just heard.

Chris wasn't blind, he knew the ankle (Y/n) was trying to touch and assess was the one she said had hurt yesterday when they were watching a movie.

"Mum?"

"I- I'm okay. You need the bathroom, baby?" (Y/n) managed a smile and tried twisting round to reach up for the sink to get herself up, but she stopped when Chris scurried away from the door.

"I'm getting dad." He was away from the door and rushing down the hall before (Y/n) could call out for him and she sighed.

Great.

"Dad!" Chris hurried to the end room and pushed into his parent's bedroom, locking eyes with Eddie immediately.

His dad was laid in the middle of the bed, Lilah curled up happily on his chest, fast asleep. Eddie did a night shift last night and had been awake all day today so when Lilah needed to settle for bed, Eddie brought her into his room so he could take a power nap. He wouldn't be far behind her once she was asleep in her own bed.

He looked like he was about to fall asleep right there, laid in his pyjama bottoms, slouched down against a mountain of pillows. The covers were tangled around his feet and there was a thin blanket draped around Lilah who was breathing softly into his chest. Drooling onto his bare chest with a pacifier in her mouth.

When Eddie looked towards the door, he smiled but pressed a finger to his lips, he didn't want Lilah to wake up or else it would take a while to settle her again.

"You okay buddy?"

"Mum fell."

A frown etched onto Eddie's face and he nodded before he looked down at Lilah. His hands moved to her back and the back of her head as he slowly rolled to the right and eased her down onto the bed. He wrapped the blanket around her and kissed the top of her head before he quickly got up.

"Sit with your sister for me?" They traded places and Chris eagerly clambered into Eddie's spot in the bed and tucked himself under the covers. Eddie took that as a hint that both kids were going to stay in bed with them for a while, not that he minded. Chris could watch a movie in their room while Eddie fell asleep.

He kissed Chris's curls before he headed out of the room, guessing that (Y/n) was in the bathroom because the door was open and the light was seeping out into the dark hallway.

"Amor, Chris said you fell."

His eyes raked over (Y/n) as she sat on the floor, one hand on the sink and both legs curled beneath her. Pushing off the door frame, Eddie crouched down in front of her, his hands clasped between his thighs and when he rose a brow, it was a silent demand telling her not to lie to him.

"My ankle twisted." Her eyes glanced down to her ankle that had given way on her a few minutes ago.

The soft "Let me see," that passed Eddie's lips made adrenaline pool in (Y/n)'s stomach and she shivered when his hands were on her leg. Gently stretching her leg out towards him as he pressed on her ankle. It was starting to swell around her heel and up the back of her ankle.

"That sprain just got worse. You need to see a doctor."

(Y/n) shook her head, trying to smile but she couldn't manage it. She didn't want to go to the doctor. "No, baby I'm fine… help me up?"

"No, that's not fine. Did you hurt yourself when you fell? Your stomach?"

(Y/n) shivered when Eddie's hands switched to reach out for her stomach and she gently cupped his wrist, moving his hand around to feel the side of her bump where a sudden kicking tore at her abdomen.

"I don't think so," (Y/n) looped her arms around Eddie's neck, feeling relieved when his hands cupped her hips and he took the hint. He slowly pushed up to his feet and helped her up, but his lips pursed into a frown when he watched (Y/n) lean her weight onto her right foot. She barely pressed her toes down on the floor on her left foot, clearly it was hurting her.

"I'll take you to the doctor tomorrow before work."

"Baby-"

"No chances and no risks this time, remember?" Eddie wasn't risking this fall leafing to something worse. They had no idea what happened last time to cause the placental abruption (Y/n) had with Lilah. It could have been something or nothing.

But Eddie knew a fall was a risk of causing an abruption and he didn't want that happening. That would cause more problems and limit (Y/n) like last time, she would have to take things even easier and maybe be on bed rest. Eddie wouldn't take any risks this time around.

Once they'd taken Chris to school and Lilah to nursery, he would take (Y/n) to the doctor to check her ankle and make sure the baby was okay.

(Y/n) bit her lip but she nodded in agreement, letting Eddie steal a kiss from her. But she gasped when his hands raked down her sides and cupped the back of her thighs. He gripped firmly, digging his fingers into her flesh and hoisted her up as if she weighed nothing. Her legs looped around his torso and she let him turn and carry her out the bathroom, towards the bedroom.

"Let's not make that ankle any worse, hm?"

[lk0727]

I'm crying because I love the idea of correspondence between the students leaving next year and I'd love to see more of it. The white day cards are so cute that I just want to elaborate (hc) on handwriting and maybe even writing quirks. Just Malleus (for now...)

Malleus would be really interested in how his partner writes, it's all so fascinating to him and he's a pattern noticer. The noticerrrr. And he sees so much that he even finds himself compiling all the repetitive actions you take when writing -not just what you're writing, and brings them to you to discuss further. The way you slant letters, when your pen lets up, if you type then the frequency of paragraph breaking, how you insert images, etc. I think it'd be something like "Did you know you tend to smudge the paper when you reach the furthest margin, are you perhaps left-handed? Oya, you are? I knew that to be the case." He says with a slight smile and downturned gaze because he knows he ate that. Sherlock Horns.

He would get overzealous about the fact that you're only a word away and would immediately call you with his archaic phone and pester you until you receive it. His Correspondence wouldn't actually be a surprise because you are usually visited by a heavy knock on your door and fae appropriate fanfare when it arrives, that's just etiquette when writing royalty. But, he always calls you the day he receives it so that you know he shall be returning post haste and he intends to dazzle you. In fact, you'll spend so long speaking to each other about what was written to him, that when you finally get his response, it's more or less just recapping what you spoke of two days prior. He can't hide his giddyness, even if he keeps a cool baritone while on the phone. Because you're a kind person, you pretend that his tail happily thumping against the ground is inaudible, because you know he can't help it.

He is going to surprise you by the emojis he uses because WHO taught you that!?!? He learned these from Cater and Lilia, but he doesn't change the way he speaks. It's "Good evening, How have you've been? The summer season of Briar Valley is particularly exhausting and hot💧, I am very bothered by the heat of it all.🥵🥵" and when Lilia intercepts it, he's like "that's a perfect sentence, go ahead and send it. Actually, one note, send more sweating emojis, it's really hot this summer, right?"

Your messages go through a diverse array of moderators and middle men. Those people being his Grandmother, who reminds him that he's a prince, Lilia and Silver (the two who initially opened the letter, and finally his transcriber and narrator, Sebek who scoffs at the quality of the smut you're peddling his young master, who shouldn't even be hearing this, but he'll read on against his better judgement. (It's literally benign, the furthest thing from smut, Malleus argues). His letters would look a little like this:

21.09.19XX Child, It's been nice knowing you.😌 Why do I say that? Since we've met, it seems as if Briar Valley has taken a lead in comedy and our collective temperament could not be more jovial. Your humorous description of your familiar, Grim child, was very well received by my Grandmother, as I was awoken early enough to the sounds of insects humming and birds chirping well into the night to read it aloud to me, guffawing as she spoke. (I apologize, I cannot stop her from opening my mail, but we're working on her problematic behavior, that's a fact.😉) She in particular has asked if she may keep it, you know how older individuals are with their chucklesome cat stories. 🙄 There's this understanding of the world that I just don't possess when it comes to what grabs the attention of the people's comedy, it continues to evade me. For instance, what is the humor of "surprise hot dog 🌭" and why must it be a surprise to be enjoyed? The children of Briar Valley seemingly shout this and end their sentences with it, and I am surprised and annoyed every time. It seems like you have an understanding in the matters of humor, so you are welcome to explain it to me. But I digress, If I sat down and listed to you all the things that escaped me, well, you might find yourself as old as I am by the time we've finished! 🤣The trees and wind must sense the happiness in our friendly union, and have planned accordingly to block out bad weather🌧️ and unforgiving spirits. The weather is nice enough that (forgive me I've overstretched my hand) planned your visit for sooner rather than later. Next time we meet in person, this shall be us ->🕺💃, as I've already made arrangements for a night in a cabaret club in the Capitol for us to partake in. It's a culture so far from the realm of possibility of establishing itself in our quiet little country, that I was astounded when I stumbled across its zoning request permits one day and I rushed to see it in person, paperwork be damned. The smaller fae who perform insist it to be a "cheeky, yet inoffensive showcase of the arts", and after witnessing it for myself, I knew it would be the type of entertainment you'd enjoy.🤫 Even now, it doesn't feel natural to write, like an odd mouth feel that doesn't change as I turn it over and over. A cabaret in Briar Valley, a music club in a quiet kingdom... it's as I've mentioned earlier, Briar Valley has surprisingly given itself wholly to the Joviality of life. Sincerely yours; Malleus Draconia, Heir to Briar Valley p.s Surprise hot dog 🌭

On the other hand, as confident as he is in your responses, he's always a little embarrassed to send something back. It's not fear of his ability, but rather, if you'll care to hear about the day to day of a crown prince who's routine is very boring and full of nothingburger drama. He doesn't understand that his 18 page assessment of his life is literally replacing the cable you can't afford, and when he describes the way the lion prince attacked him during a diplomatic meeting, the colorful language of his response makes you laugh, and then cry, and even gag because "how did he get close enough to gash you!?" You can see the face he's making as he writes this, pouty and angry and even chuckling when he describes the punishment that followed. Just like in his real life, Malleus has a hard time concealing his emotions. He's not shy about who he is as a person, and his writing is not either. The way it flows is a little different from traditional correspondence, if anything, he's sending you disjointed journal entries and prose while also clipping what you send him to respond directly. Your 2 page crapped out response filled with emojis and memes and inside jokes is returned in full by 20 pages of thoughtful dialogue, assessments of politics and fondness of your life, and even sketches of the things around him (okay... just gargoyles and Sebek, but those are things in all fairness.) He has a real zest that he doesn't try to contain, and even his handwriting gives it away. When he's in a good mood, it's very pristine, heavily slanted cursive that his heavy hand oppresses by not dotting his i's or crossing his t's. It's just understood between you two what he means. Likewise, when he's angry or melancholic it's surprisingly very light, almost inelligeble as if he was speaking through gritted teeth. He must be getting up and pacing, because of course he is. When upset or recounting something terrible, his handwriting is unusually neat, funnily enough the sentences are much shorter, as if he's hiding something or thinking long about what should be said next. He's a very wistful person, after all.

Malleus enjoys fine art that seeks to appease the senses and refine beauty, so attached to his letters will often be trinkets like necklaces, earrings, watches, and pocket squares that he found in shops in Briar Valley, or a ticket to a play or music shows that dazzled him. The heavier packages (these tend to come at random) are filled with small desserts, books on the anthropological history of different fae species, woven pieces from more aesthetically competent fae and their fashion, and of course, fragmented pieces of ancient gargoyles he found hiding in deserted rooms of the castle. <- He'll know if you've thrown it away, so hold on to the heavy, weird rock fragment, please.

[wings-of-fire-confessions]

Alright let’s talk about the fandom. Seriously.

Immaturity and bad takes are impossible to avoid since this is literally a book for pre to post teens, a lot of older people either love or grew up with it, but have left because of the loud majority of minors. This post is mostly for those younger people, so keep that in mind.

I’ll just say this real quick, if you’re 12 and under. Get off, it’s truly for your own safety you shouldn’t even be online, be patient and wait, it will be worth it I promise. Young minds should definitely NOT be interacting with this fandom at all.

These books and the fandom means a lot to me, and to see it on fire breaks my heart, so here I propose some temporary solutions and suggestions:

Draw people’s ocs! No matter how off cannon or op they may be, this fandom is full of children and a little kindness can go a long way

Encourage nuance, I know it’s not our job to parent the kids who are left abandoned on the internet, but I think it’s important to understand where these kids are coming from. Learning is hard for some but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be held accountable for your actions. Differing opinions might be trivial to some who grew up in an echo chamber of the same views as them, so take a mindful approach of sharing new ideas, don’t just say “This idea is correct and because you don’t think it is you’re wrong”.

Positivity and kindness. This one is very important, you need to listen to one another and give everyone a chance to speak, there are so many diverse people across the fandom and we all just want to enjoy our dragons. Ruining the fun by harassing innocent people is not okay, relax a bit and step back, this is all just a series about a fictional species with rules that can be easily bent for fan content, everyone is having fun together, and you can either watch, partake, or ruin it.

I think that’s all I have to say for now, I just love psychology and growing minds are fascinating to me, I love children with all of my heart (not like that) and it’s upsetting to see them fighting with each other or getting dog piled by older people! Please, this fandom has to be way more mindful of it wants to continue, minors in fandoms are unavoidable but you can easily make 16-18+ servers or groups.

With that being said, I genuinely love you all and I wish to see this thrive, continue doing your art, your writing, or whatever the hell you do, I’ve seen so much amazing mixed media projects about these dragons and it makes me so happy that people are sharing this stuff with the world. I love you artists, fellow fandom siblings, and to all else who reads this, have a good day/night 💖

.

[rey-jake-therapist]

"Sauron is not enough evil and scary in Rings of Power"

Because he was scary in LOTR?! That thing is scary to you?

I'll tell you what : Sauron's eye in the movie NEVER scared me. Not even a little bit. I remember that the first time this big ridiculous eye appeared on screen, we all chuckled because... "That's it? that's Sauron?" . And the least that we can say, it's that in terms of personnality... Well he has none, right? The conversations must be nice:

"Hey Sauron, how are you today?

Sauron: RING! RING !!! AHHhrhzjjjjjjj RING!!!!!!!

Oh yeah, the ring, sure Boss. Anything else you need?

Sauron: RIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGG!!!"

Fascinating.

I hate to break it to you, but movies Sauron is BORING. He's boring because he's hardly an entity. He's more a concept, and at the end everything about him rests on what the characters tell us about him: that he's extra evil, very cruel, a tyrant, obsessed by the One Ring, yada yada. But since he's no more than this giant eye on a tower, he never becomes tangible. We believe he's evil because that's what everybody says and also because of what his unpaid employees do, but he never gets to do anything himself, so we don't really see it.

Shelob scared me. The Nazguls terrified me. Heck, I was more afraid than Gollum than I was of Sauron. Don't laugh, did you see his teeth? I would be at least afraid to catch an horrible disease if he bit me...

In ROP, however, Charlie Vickers nails it as Sauron. He may not be literally on fire, but his evilness and his cunningness are palpable in season 2. I mean, the way he treats Celebrimbor?! If that's not sheer cruelty I don't know what it is, and it will get even worse in the episodes to come. Sauron doesn't take no for an answer. He tortures Celebrimbor, not physically but psychologically to bend him to his will. Since day #1, he lies constantly to Celebrimbor, flatters him, tells him what he wants to hear, gaslights him, isolates him from his people, nearly drives him to madness and only at the end, threatens to destroy his city if he doesn't do what he wants... That's not evil enough for you?? Oh, and add "creepy" on the list too, for this poor girl he keeps being weird with.

And as for the scary side of Sauron: Charlie proves to be an excellent actor when he manages to express his moments of contained rage through his micro expressions. For example, every time Celebrimbor resists him, his face changes enough for the audience to see he would tear the poor man's eyes out if he could, but it doesn't last long, blink and you miss it ! Same in the last episose 6, when King Durin refused to deliver more mithril to him; it was so obvious he wanted to kill the old man on the spot, but he's patient, he'll let the Balrog do it for him. Because yes, he's vicious and likes to keep his hands clean, so he tells animals do the job for him when he can!

But it's there, and we already got to see a glimpse of the sheer fury that can possess him when he loses control : in Numenor, when he beat the shit out of the men who had mocked him, and on the raft when Galadriel rejected him. That was probably just a forestate of what we can expect from the next seasons, folks.

By the way, I wrote all this with love. I love that TROP made Sauron tangible. I can see the threat he is now. I understand why everyone during the LOTR is terrified at the idea that he may come back. And I don't want anyone to fix him, mind you...

TROP Sauron, stay as you are, get much worse, PLEASE!

[xdinaryvamp]

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ 🩷 ` teasan "never seen before"!!

where a mysterious stranger starts leaving notes in the books you read, hoping you'll write to him at the number he gave you.

genre : fluff, "secret" ( non so much ) admirer, gn reader.

pairings : bookwarm!taesan × bookwarm!reader.

if there was one thing you loved with all of your being it was reading.

you loved getting lost in the pages, traveling on ink and imagining worlds. you loved that fictional world much more than the real world, and you took refuge in it whenever you could.

books had made you know thousands of things, allowed you to experience emotions you had never felt before and created a corner that was just yours. the problem? they had also made you a hopeless romantic.

the characters in the stories were very different from the people who populated your daily reality, yet so plausible that you confused them with something possible in your everyday life. but it wasn't like that.

real people were much less predictable, more selfish, and less intelligent. not to mention the fact that you couldn't form an opinion of them at the end of the book, you had to get hurt to really get to know them, and you didn't want to suffer.

yet, even though you were aware of this rift between your two worlds, you continued to hope for that love similar to the fiction you read.

that's why that afternoon you had to do your best not to start laughing like an idiot all by yourself.

it was a day like any other, and taking advantage of the free time you took refuge in the library. not that you didn't like reading on your own at home, but there was an atmosphere in that building that made you feel at ease, so you went there as much as possible, even several times a week.

that particular day, you had to go to the bathroom, so you momentarily left the book you were reading on the table that was in front of you.

upon returning, inside the book you found a note, folded in two and hidden inside the page you were reading.

----- ☆

“i certainly have not the talent which some people possess, of conversing easily with those i have never seen before.”

i've seen you reading ‘pride and prejudice” two times this month, so i read it too, it was beautiful. you intrigue me, but i don't like starting conversations with people ( the quote should already be explanatory of this ). would you like to write to me first? i want to know more about you, besides your pretty face.

my number: ××× ××× ××××.

----- ☆

on average you wouldn't have done it, but the note in the book was too cliché that it didn't make you smile, and besides it made you curious.

you wrote to him. he had a photo of kurt cobain as his profile picture, so you had no idea what his face looked like. but you didn't care, you wanted him to remain a mystery.

you talked all day about books and music, and you were fascinated by his calm manner which was even noticeable in the messages. he would ask you what your favorite books were, and then he would read them. he would send you his playlists, and you would listen to them until you fell asleep.

he also complimented you from time to time; “you look beautiful”, “i loved the way your hair were styled today”, “i couldn't read anything, you were too distracting”.

you, on your side, never turned to see who those messages were from. you had an image of him, and you didn't want to ruin it.

teasan -that was his name- was your personal fictional boy, the crush you always wanted to have. what if meeting him ruined everything? you would have been destroyed by this.

you continued to talk to him for months, finding, those few times you left your seat, little notes and pieces of poetry in the book you were reading. they were never too romantic, but they still made your heart beat.

you always had to try your best not to react too much to these small gestures, especially when there were people around you.

like that morning, where the seat next to you was occupied by a beautiful boy busy reading a book by murakami. he looked like one of the male leads of a fantasy romance, with his soft black hair and a serious expression. in another circumstance you would have paid more attention to his appearance, but not that day, because in the moment in which you went to get a coffee from the coffee machine, another piece of poem had been inserted into your book.

----- ☆

[ . . . ] those rare strangers

who make me

catch my breath

the first time we meet.

[ . . . ] i am drawn to them

but do they see me?

or am i just part of

the wallpaper of their life?

susan ash. “first encounters”

----- ☆

you did your best to except smile as you placed the piece of paper in the pocket of your jeans. you had saved them all, and kept them in a box in your bedroom.

“i certainly have not the talent which some people possess, of conversing easily with those i have never seen before.” the boy next to you spoke, without moving his eyes away from the book he was reading.

your heartbeat lost a beat recognizing that words. “i'm sorry, what?”

he looked up from the book, and you were enchanted by the beauty of his eyes. you wanted to believe that he was the notes boy, that he was taesan, the guy you had a crush on, but you didn't want to disappoint yourself.

he smiled, and then he closed the book he was reading. “i don't want to be just the wallpaper of your life anymore, y/n.” he said, and you convinced yourself that it was really him.

“i would like to be a more tangible part of your life, if you'll let me.”

and of course you agreed. you were already in love with him, and by now the fear of the first meeting had vanished. there was nothing that could stop you from living your real fictional story with him.

[soxcreg]

Сold Secrets

Part two

Modern!Cregan Stark x Fem!Reader

Summary: You're in love with the captain of the King's Landing University hockey team. You've kept it a closely guarded secret , but something goes wrong.

Disclaimer: English isn't my first language!

Word count: 1002

part one

It's been a week since that kiss with Cregan. Nothing much has changed in my life, except for a constant feeling of awkwadress. You'd think that since Cregan isn't around, there's no need to worry, but he was. Over the past few days, he's been catching my eye constanly.

Either his car is parked or driving by, or he's visiting Jacaerys while I'm visiting Helaena. I'm a senior, so we've started going to the University, and since the guys in my class have taken an interest in hockey, I see Stark not only in the hallways and classrooms, but also on the ice.

"Don't even think about leaving or sneaking out. Everyone should be on excursions," the teacher warned us menacingly.

Of corse, I couldn't talk about these patterns, because no one, not even Helaena, knew about my crush. Well, maybe I'm just too fixated on all this. Maybe it's just a coincidence, or everithing was like this before,I just started noticing these details. I knew about the tours of the University of King's Landing in advance.

Maybe these are just excuses, but I fell calmer this way. But I was sure that it was either my imagination or an accident.

I'm sitting in the stands watching he University hockey team's demonstration practice. It feels like my ass already frozen to the bench. Cold. And hungry. My mind whispered. I didn't have time to have breakfast, the class teacher is clearly not in the mood today.

"And theres guys are really nice," One girl giggled next to me, "Yeah. Espencially Aegon. I saw him yesterday, he's so gallant, "And the both started laughing nervously, attracting the attention of even the guys on the ice.

Well, I mean, Aegon is gallant. No, of cours, he's very well-mannered, sometimes he can be polite and behave like a gentelman. But that was only moments.Mostly he's loud, funny and very indecent. The words pouring out of his mouth sometimes add to my vocabulary, and also make me brush and turn away. And he's a pro at terrible ideas and schemes.

Often his nephew Jacaerys, whom he affectionately calls cousin, due to the small age difference, takes part in his scams. They both even tried to get Cregan involved, but he didn't particularly like that, although he did take part in some harmless schemes.

I don't really need to be told about this. I don't think Aegon would like it. On the other hand, I could hear the voice of the class teacher, he was commenting on the training session very heatedly. He seemed to have examined, he also played hockey in his time. I carefully examined the ice and found the one I needed.

Tall, broad-shouldered, he looked even bigger in uniform. He held the stick confidently, and he moved around the ice better than I walked on the ground. It was fascinating. I only skated as a child, I think now I would easily fall there and turn into a star.

So absorbed in staring, I didn't even understand when he looked at me too. His gray eyes were fixed on me. No. From afar, because of the helmet and the play of light, it seemed that way to me. Why would he look at me? That's what I decided.

After traning, we were dismissed, and I headed to the exit of the University. Today, Helaena had invited me to her place. Then someone called me. I turned and saw Cregan. Stell in uniform, he was hurrying towards me. I raised an eyebrow.

"Hey," He came closer and said, "Hi. Did you want something?" I hoped the blush on my cheeks was not as noticable as I thought.

"I heard you were going to Helaena's today. Maybe I could give you a ride?" I started at him, surprised. "How do you know?"

"Aegon said," He replied, smiling as if nothing had happened. Gods, I could melt into a piddle here.

"Yeah, fine. If it's convenient for you," I nervously tugged at the strap of my backpack. "I'll pick you up at six," He said goodbuy and walked back into the building.

I was still under the impression. What if I hadn't imagined the look? Well, I had to stay calm. I turned around and headed home to get my homework done and ready.

I was already getting ready, it was six in the evening. I said goodbuy to my parents and left the apartament. Mom was casually standing by the window and checking her flowers on the windowsill. I frowned and went to the alevator. When mom found out a guy I knew from the University would be giving me a ride, she got worried.

"My girl has never had a boyfriend, and then some hare crawled out of a hat," Of course, I tried to calm her down, that I had known Cregan for a year, he was a friend of Helaena's cousin-nephew, but it came out so confused that this situation interested her.

I left the train and saw Cregan's car. It's good that he didn't get out of it this time, otherwise there would be even more questions after I returned. I got into the car.

"Hi. How are you?" He asked me. The car started moving. "Everithing is fine, how are you?"

While we were driving to the Targaryen estate, we exchanged basic questions about the weather and school. I didn't seem to be too worried, I hope I'm not imagining it. Several times I definitely caught him looking at me, which I kind of liked, but not really. When we got to our friends, we quickly went to different rooms. Finally, Cregan said he would give me a ride home.

Gods old and new, help me get though this day. It's confusing and giving me butterflies. A lot.

Looks like there will be a third part.

[jpitha]

Hospitality

Meandering River and Q'ari sit in the canteen during midday break chatting and drinking some herbal tea. The Humans introduced both the drink and the meal. They call it 'Lunch' and while only the Humans seem to need the calories supplied by the meal, the break and the tea has proven to be a big hit among the other sapients...so long as they stay away from the poisonous teas. There are a lot of poisonous teas. Most everyone can have chamomile though.

The conversation meanders as they do, and eventually, they both come to talking about things they've noticed about the humans, one of the more recent additions to the Coalition. Everybody has their own cultural and biological quirks, but the conversations has been steering towards the humans lately. Everyone is a little too quick to point out that It's not that they're... weird, it's just the differences.

Q'ari puts her tea down with a clink on the small porcelain saucer. "Did you know that the Humans have a whole thing about being nice to visitors? It’s called 'hospitality' and they have almost entire religions about it!"

"What? They have religions about being nice to people you meet?" Meandering River said, as her feathers rustle, reflecting shimmering colors.

"Pretty much! My guess is that living on their world is so hard that they just felt obligated to help people who were passing through their village or peer group or whatever. The idea was that no matter who shows up - even their enemy - you give them a meal and a bath and let them have a nap and point them towards where they need to go if they're lost." Q'ari took another sip of tea. "You weren't even supposed to ask them questions about who they were or what they were doing!"

Meander was baffled. "But that makes no sense! What if the person was going to hurt you or your group? You had no way of knowing. Better to just let them pass by, and not interact."

"Yes, but the idea is the next time it was you traveling, you'd get help from others too." Nancy said from behind them.

Q'ari fur poofed out and Meander's feathers rippled in surprise and they both slid their chairs back to jump away before stopping themselves and sitting down, tea spilled everywhere. Predator/Prey reactions were deeply ingrained in Innari and Sefigans, and Humans were exceptionally good predators, even when they didn't mean to be.

"Sorry! Sorry!" Nancy said, seeing their reaction. "I didn't mean to startle you! I just heard you talking about hospitality. People everywhere don't treat it like the religion it used to be, but it's still a common thing that people do. Here -" she said gesturing on her pad "Let me buy you both another Tea to say sorry for spilling yours. Chamomile, right? I feel so badly about startling you."

"I-It's all right, we know you didn't mean to." Meander says, smoothing their feathers automatically. We were just fascinated by the concept of hospitality. Please, join us." She gestures towards a chair.

Nancy sits down, and wipes away some of the spilled tea with a napkin. "Being polite to strangers is just something that's taught from an early age. It's not done everywhere, and it's not done the same way, but it's still done. It's... complicated though." Nancy said, as a serv platform came over with two fresh cups of tea. After it had left, she continued. "Codifying being nice to strangers and offering them a place to stay and food to eat is a way that people could travel in the time before money and hotels, but also, it could be used as a shield against forming real friendships."

"What do you mean by that? If you're inviting strangers into your house, wouldn't that help make friends?" Meander said, blowing on her tea to cool it slightly.

"Well, it could. But if the whole process is ritualized and formal, then you could use it to keep 'foreign' people at arms length. Sure, you'd invite them in, let them sleep, bathe, eat, but you'd send them on their way in the morning and that would be it. There would be no connection, no friendship. There is a long, long history of being nice without being friendly."

"It's all very confusing." Q'ari said. "There seems to be a lot of implied connections, and ritualized actions that on the surface appear kind, but may - or may not - be, depending on thousands of different things."

Nancy nodded. "Hey, things are never black and white. There is always nuance. I'm sure it's even the same way between you and your people. Q'ari, you're not originally from Sef, the homeworld, right?"

Q'ari's teddy bear shaped ears waggled. "That's right. I grew up on Llamanian, one of our middle tier colony worlds."

"And even though you are a Sefigan citizen, when you go to Sef sometimes you get treated like an outsider, right?"

"Well, I suppose a bit, yes." Q'ari's finely laquered claws slid out of their sheaths, just a centimeter. "They say that my gelbin isn't the same as on Sef. Er, that's a traditional vegetable dish." She adds, for their benefit.

Meander's crest slides up and then back down. "I've had your gelbin Q'ari, it's delicious! What could possibly be wrong?"

She shrugs, a decidedly human gesture. "The spices are wrong, they say. We have different versions due to the ecology and soil of Llamanian, even if I were to use the exact same spices in the exact same proportions, it wouldn't taste the same."

"It's not just humans. Everyone has things that are different, and people - no matter which sapient group they are - will use those differences against them sometimes." Nancy said, taking a sip of tea. "Knowing that it happens, and keeping an eye out for it, and having some understanding, can go a long way. But, that doesn't mean we shouldn't be nice to strangers when we meet them. After all, they might be the Gods in disguise!" Nancy's eyes sparkle when she said that."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you see a people called the Greeks believed that..."

[moyazaika]

omg doe brought up this AMAZINGGG idea abt the crime lord yan and his lawyer darling hello hey hi!!!!!!

this kinda got away from me because it is 3am but i nEEEEEDED to get this out bjsjsjjs i blame @carnivorousyandeere

i know i wrote the initial dynamic for his darling to be his lawyer, in that they’re on his side in court to keep him from getting sent to prison BUT BUT BUT hear me out T_T

lawyer darling who put yan kingpin away.

as in ,, you are the reason he was found guilty. you are the one, when the judge announced the final verdict, that his gaze turned to and that he smiled for, then. sentenced to death, before it was appealed to multiple life sentences; the beginning of the end of his empire.

you, you, you — the cause of his downfall.

after the infamous internationally documented case, your career soars to unprecedented heights. you’re the lawyer on every newspaper in every country, all the tv channels and glossy magazines. every law school wants you to speak at their graduation ceremonies. every firm’s reaching out to you. the whole world knows your name; you have everything!

—so why do you keep going back to the man who now has nothing?

the kingpin looks the same as he did that fateful day in court. only now, there’s bags under his eyes, and a five o clock shadow on his jaw; lips still curled in an easygoing smile. he laughs when he sees you, as if the two of you were merely old friends who hadn’t caught up in a while.

as if you’re not visiting him years later in the city’s most high security prison.

he grins. “come to gloat, have ‘ya?”

“you’ve committed countless crimes.” you state. “stolen lives and livelihoods. broken up families. killed good men. and still, all these years later, no remorse?”

“don’t get ‘yer panties in a twist,” he huffs, lazily leans back in the rickety prison chair so that he’s swinging it back and forth on its back legs, like a child. how absurd that even the garish orange uniform of a prison should suit him, “comes with the job description, don’t it?”

“i think about you,” you admit, eyeing the chains that bind his handcuffed hands to the desk in front of him. you look up, meet his gaze through the thick, dirty pane that separates you from him. keeps you safe. out of his reach, if only just.

a low whistle. “you sure know how to make a man feel special, y’know. been followin’ your cases. never put another one like me away, did ‘ya?” he grins. “i like that i’m special. makes me feel all warm ‘nd fuzzy inside.”

“wow,” you let out. “you really have gone insane.”

“always been a ‘lil crazy! like i said, part of the job description. though i’ve been thinkin’ recently,” he starts.

your fascination prompts you to lean closer. a sort of morbid curiosity that yearns to solve the puzzle of his twisted mind, slot the pieces you’ve already got in a way that makes them fit. you’ve got this weird feeling that you’re missing something. a big piece, maybe. one of the central ones.

“thinking about what?” your voice is barely above a whisper, almost conspiratorial. he leans in, too, all wide eyes—

—and then he jerks forward with the chains around the cuffs on his wrists pulled taut as he suddenly yanks them all the way, like a feral dog pulling on its leash. he looks like one, too, with that glint in his eyes.

“fuck!”

you barely even register that you’re on the floor until he laughs, low in his throat. he makes a vague gesture to your chair, toppled over on its side.

“oops.” he says, coyly. “didn’t mean to scare ‘ya.”

“liar,” you hiss, standing up to dust yourself off. this was stupid. why would you even entertain the idea of a civil conversation with a madman?

he gasps dramatically. “this is slander, your honour!”

“i’m leaving,” you scoff. “i don’t even know why i even came down here. you’re clearly fucking crazy.”

“and you’re no fun!” he pouts. “how ‘bout you stay just a little longer and i’ll make it worth ‘yer time, pretty please?”

“no can do,” you turn on your heels and reach for the door, fingers curled around the handle as you spare him one final glance over your shoulder— “have fun rotting in here for the rest of your life, psycho.”

—except the door won’t open. you try again, and again once more. the handle won’t budge. an awful sense of urgency overcomes you as you desperately shake the handle in a futile attempt to get it to just—

“funny ‘yer calling me crazy, ‘cus einstein once said real insanity is doin’ the same thing,” he beams. “over and over and over and over again, and expecting different results. door’s locked, lovely. ‘yer not getting out from there, ‘m afraid.”

you turn back then, still holding onto that door like a lifeline. he’s standing up, rubbing sore wrists that are, you realise with a sinking feeling, no longer bound by the handcuffs that kept him chained; on a short leash, like a good dog.

“what are you doing…?” your voice shakes, and it’s a far cry to the headstrong, unwavering lawyer who put the world’s most notorious criminal behind bars. “what the fuck—”

“i told you i’d make it worth your while t’stay,” he rolls up his sleeves, before pushing all of his hair (longer and greasier than the last you saw him) out of his face, features set in a determination you’ve never glimpsed before. familiar eyes twinkle with mischief. “and i meant it, y’know. the world’s very best lawyer came so far to see me! least i can do is greet ‘em properly.”

“‘cus see, the other prisoners wouldn’t be so nice. but i’ve been thinkin’ about you too.” he pulls his arm back and his fist comes flying at the pane. “don’t wanna have a conversation or nothin’ like that, nah, we talked enough.”

“you’ve been thinking about me, i’ve been waiting around for you…” bloody knuckles against cracks in the one barrier that is keeping you safe from him. you watch, helpless, as it threatens to break beneath the brute force of his trained fists.

“now let me just come over there,” he pulls his arm back again, ready to strike; knuckles raw and red, like the maniacal grin carved onto his pretty, flushed face. a deep blush and a shaky smile as those fists bring it all crashing down. “and show you how much i missed my faaavourite lawyer in the whole wide world.”

“—that be a good enough reason to stick around?” he asks slyly, before catching himself. “oh, silly me.” he shakes his head, apologetically, as he steps over broken shards on the floor, tainted with his blood. “doesn’t matter what ‘ya say.” a low hum when scarred hands reach out for you. “i waited so long for you…”

“… so, let’s make up reaaalllll good for all that lost time, okay?”

[literatureloverx]

One of the things I find curious about Fyodor is that in the latest bsd guidebook, he describes himself as the color white like his hometown's snow. Fyodor still remembers his hometown, after all he's gone through and after all this time. And he describes himself as the color white like its snow. That with his character's disconnect from people, makes me very excited for when Asagiri decides to reveal his character's backstory. Of course he probably means snow in a more way of "purity" than sentimentalism for his hometown itself but omg he mentions his hometown which is something enough. Not "like snow" which would convey purity enough but "like the snow from my hometown". Maybe it's because he found his faith there? Maybe he just wants to pay respect to where he was birthed? Idk but there's much to theorize. What are your thoughts?

-🎪 anon

I agree, 🎪-anon!♥️

I don’t know if it’s because he found his faith there, but I think that is very likely and seems reasonable.

However, I also believe he was born into a religious family to begin with. I’ve thought through other aspects as well. Let me break it down for you:

Purity and Fyodor’s inner moral code:

Fyodor describing himself as the color white, especially like the snow from his hometown, speaks volumes. It hints at his complex inner moral code—he engages in dark actions under the belief that they serve a greater good.

This idea of “purity” contrasts sharply with his behavior. But does it?

In my humble opinion, he is well aware that what he does is evil, but his inner moral depiction is influenced by Machiavellian tendencies.

He does whatever he needs to do to cleanse humanity of their sins. Therefore, his actions reflect Machiavellian principles.

In short: the ends justify the means (The Prince by Niccolò Machiavelli).

I’m imagining it like this: God has given him the enormous power of being immortal—never truly able to die.

God also gifted him with an intelligence that is above any other human being.

This means he must be someone important.

This means he is meant to be the rightful hand of God, tasked with creating a world that is worthy of God’s beauty.

Therefore, he wishes to help God’s creations, cleansing them and this sinful world of all their sins.

This is one reason why he says that he likes all humanity equally. Because he really does.

They are all the same to him—fools who could do better. Fools that could be worthy of God’s perfect world.

What fascinates me the most about him is that, even though he is doing all of this out of pure self-assurance and his own complex inner moral compass, he still claims that he is doing it for the whole world. And I believe he does.

I can totally see this being his ultimate end in the future.

His Hometown and it’s significance for him:

By referencing his hometown, he reveals a more humane side to himself.

If you haven't already, l'd recommend you read THIS and THIS posts of mine, where I explained very clearly how I perceive Fyodor's humane side.

It shows that he yearns for connection and perhaps misses the simplicity and innocence of his past.

This duality makes him such a fascinating character, caught between his dark pursuits and the remnants of his humanity.

Imagine feeling like, or even knowing that you're "the chosen one," only to end up isolated, dehumanized, and lonely, with nothing to hold onto but your belief in your God.

You can't die, because the only way for you to do so is by your own hands, which is considered the greatest sin.

You can't die. Not until you take your own life.

How deep must his religious beliefs run for him to be this dedicated to his goal, mentally able to endure and live for hundreds, maybe thousands of years?

This made me so emotional. I want to give him a hug. My precious love.♥️

[paeliae-occasionally]

hi pae pae!!!

what is your process of designing your maps? and how do you approach lore? how does that brilliant mind of your work to create such fascinating history and complex worldbuilding?

je would like to know the trade secrets pretty pls

p.s. how far along are you on xaeren? if it’s not far enough, im afraid i’m going to have to start protesting soon… 😔

p.p.s. before you say school is taking up your time—understandable. have a great day. keep being brilliant. i just really want more xaeren content.

p.p.p.s. in my head, i imagine xaeren as so mighty fine that there’s an occult in some middle school of a suburban neighborhood with an old classroom turned into a shrine for his feral fangirls to host club meetings simping over him

that’s it’s. that’s all the pspspsppsss i have. miss you! have a great day! cheerios!

Hello Naveena! Lots of questions! We will go through them one at a time.

What is your process of designing your maps?

So with maps I will start by just noting down the history and current function of the city which gives me an idea of style and layout e.g. all of the cities that were part of the Laith’Edrels have lots of circular designs whereas a modern altic city may have more typical alleyways and rectangular buildings Next I plot in the districts of the city, like where the upper class live, where the high streets are etc. I also add any key buildings at this time, like a plot relevant church or a mages tower. Lastly I go back in and draw boxes and house shapes for 2 hours.

How do you approach lore?

A lot of my lore is just a set of stories where I look at a place on the map, or a group of people and go ‘what could have happened here?’ The bigger worldbuilding points like the dissolution came from me wanting to have magical decay from fewer more powerful beings to more less powerful beings, so I needed gods. However it always frustrates me when there are canonically gods in a world who just sit back and ignore the world crashing and burning as one frustrated hero has to fix the problem, so I made a reason for them to be gone

History and worldbuilding

Honestly a lot of my history writing was based off of the large amounts of real life history I read in my free time. Studying how cities and empires develop then putting my own spin on them because magic would change some things. Worldbuilding comes from my maps really. I will label different cultures on the map then come up with myths and legends for that culture, magic specific to them or their ancestors, wars and internal conflict. Then that spirals into pages of notes on the socioeconomic background for Onkairel. It is lots of fun.

“would like to know the trade secrets” she says after writing a whole book with detailed political lore and plenty of depth to the world.

You know the secrets. You also know the secrets to actually writing the book too.

So about Xaeren…

I will be writing the scene where he meets Kell soon so I will tag you in it when I do, but you are right about the school work :( so it may take a little while.

“an occult in some middle school of a suburban neighborhood with an old classroom turned into a shrine for his feral fangirls to host club meetings simping over him”

So you say that jokingly… No, to be fair he isn’t known for his an appearance but he is quite well known in Zairel as an assassin and member of house Hiresias. He is terrifying and intriguing to many because of his unique magic that Lysandri can’t explain so I would not be surprised if there was discussion of him in the lower ranks of Lysandri and Hiresias.

I will write some Xaeren soon. Have a lovely day <3

[jellogram]

I understand why the Logan Paul suicide forest video got nuked but tbh I think it should stay on youtube, with the victim fully censored obviously. But I think it's a fascinating video that should be preserved, because you can watch the brain cells in Logan's head just scatter like a swam of bats.

He'd been releasing a vlog every single day for what, a year? This is a man who is so fried, so content-pilled, that he cannot comprehend what he is looking at. It makes no sense to him. He's obviously genuinely upset but he has no idea how to express it in a vlog-acceptable way. He simply has no script for it. This wasn't supposed to happen. At one point he takes off his stupid Toy Story hat and comments on how he's wearing an inappropriate hat for the situation.

For a few minutes, you can see into this man's soul, and you can see what he's done to himself. Completely removed from reality, being violently dragged back into it with the confrontation of death, and then quickly trying to crawl back into his bubble as soon as possible.

He signs some autographs in the parking lot and uploads the video.

That vid has actual anthropological value to me. It's like a record of what happens when influencer-brain reaches critical mass. It's a masterpiece, it's a commentary, it's the new American Gothic. And he made it by accident because he's a fucking idiot.

[all-pacas]

i think you're deeply in denial about being a chase/cam shipper or you gotta change your definition of shipping or something. because whatever you're doing here absolutely 100% looks like shipping them. to the untrained eye

in reality i have this very multi long paragraph disclaimer that's too convoluted to even explain but here ya go:

they are my two favorite characters

i like seeing them interact because of this fact

i find their deeply complimentary set of flaws fascinating. i love seeing cameron in a Relationship because she's such a fucking unreliable narrator about herself. i like seeing chase in a relationship because the very concept of "putting someone besides yourself first" is so antithetical to him and the opposite of what he has learned his whole life. i want to put them in a room together. i want cameron to talk at glowing length about her soulmate dead husband and how she watched him die and i want chase to talk about watching his mother die and how much he hates and resents her. i don't know where that conversation would go but i Want It. it's like how i want chase and 13 to talk about murder and redemption together. it is a platonic smashing together of fake people, not about making them kiss

i think they were badly written in the sense that like. there's no writing. they're just together. now they're not. now chase has feelings. do we see them? no. now cameron has feelings. do we see them? no. now they date for three years. as someone who likes writing and narrative this drives me insane because it's so lazy.

i think i could do it better, not in a "because i want to write uwu fixit fanfic where they kiss" way but in a "this sort of writing drives me insane" way. like. huddy was badly written too but it very much existed. cameron and chase are just "oh btw chase fell for her at some point for some reason during fwb." why???? we can handwave but there is NOTHING IN CANON. cameron likes him too! why??? WHO KNOWS

however i also find it annoying when people go "solution: they never dated, we pretend it never happened" because that's ALSO lazy and retcons several years of canon including cameron's exit from the show. including the actual character development chase gets, which i actually do like. i think i'm a rare person who almost prefers late series chase. i like short haired chase. and i don't like the idea of erasing all that canon development just because "uwu i don't like it" (or, more petty, because "uwu i think cameron should have kissed x -- usually house -- so i hate this canon relationship that like it or not did exist")

this ties in to my actual fairly complicated feelings about cameron and how a lot of fandom tends to Girlboss her up in obvious and admirable contrast to her years of reddit-ish character bashing. where i admire the Spirit but deeply dislike this Girlboss characterization.

basically i am a deeply contrary person by nature

so whenever i see this ship i go IT COULD HAVE BEEN BETTER, and OUT OF SPITE I WILL DEFEND IT, which is a whole perpetual motion machine of feelings

i honestly could not care less about them kissing. except for the specific episodes where they allude to having a sex life and foreman all but flees the room. i actually care quite a lot about that, i think it's super funny. so in that context (in front of foreman, to troll him) i want them to make out.

i've gone and read old ffn stories from when the show was airing that featured them as a couple. like from true fans and believers of the ship. i disagree with almost all of it and think usually cameron and usually chase are ooc in these stories. but in different ways. this also triggers my spite

so sure. yes. i ship it. probably,

[the-grimm-writer]

I went to send you some thirsty ideas and my internet cut out 😩 not the universe trying to stop this…!! There are so many possibilities- like you were just talking about JJK and there’s some SINFULLY lovely characters there- Nanami with his perfect husband look and act just to have his cute little wife tied down to his bed, open and waiting for him to get home and that’s why he rushes after clocking out… gojo who wants you so overstimulated you can’t even hope to try to escape even if you want to- try running away while in his domain baby, let’s see how far you get… geto running his freakish little cult, one day spotting you and thinking you look so perfectly innocent… so corruptable, but you just won’t give into him no matter how nice he is, so what other choice does he have but to snatch you away???

There’s also the cute little Halloween killer, who gets away with everything including murder all because of the holiday. People are so stupid, absolutely blind to his crimes even when he’s still dripping with his last victim all because he matches the season- and unfortunately you’re no exception to that. You blindly approach him ooing and awwing his “costume” and praising his stature because he’s SO big and SO tall- he suits a slasher costume perfectly! You ask to take a selfie with him and he drags you in close, taking advantage of the closeness to press himself against you while you blush and squirm and struggle to take the photo. He watches you scamper away after, with a little wave. Unfortunately with that photo you won’t be seeing the last of him any time soon, but he’ll let you have your fun for now.

Dw I get it I'm moving so the universe is trying to stop me to. 😭

But we shall never!

.

Gojo would honestly be such a freaky yandere just because of how chill he is while being an absolute powerhouse. Like just him showing a glimpse of his domain expansion would have his poor darling too shaken up to even try and get away from him 🥺

And Geto running a cult is honestly so underrated, like the POTENTIAL. How he thinks you're the perfect match for him and uses all of his connections to keep you stuck with him now matter how much you try and run away there's no escaping. and don't get me started on the breeding kink he has (it's canon he told me). How he's determined that together you'll have the perfect children that'll fix everything. <3

.

Also kinda unrelated but the going up to the slasher and taking a selfie with him reminds me of the scene in Terrifier where that girl goes up to Art and sits on his lap and takes a selfie with him lmao.

But instead of getting brutally murdered later on, I like the idea of the slasher just being totally entranced by the way you blush and nervously giggle when he pulls you in close. How you thanked him and then immediately rushed away afterward like you're a shy school girl that just confessed to her crush.

He can't help but be fascinated. Such a sweet, innocent looking thing like you was obviously attracted to a big, scary man like him. And unfortunately for you that captures his attention. You're in for a long night when he sees you go back over to your friends.

You have a big smile on your face as you show them the picture and walk away with them, nobody realizing you're being followed. And he wonders how long that pretty smile of yours will last once he has you all to himself. <3