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#like the one that i have in my inbox that just says 'its all edible'
stars-in-a-jam-jar · 5 months
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[JUMPS IN YOUR INBOX] YOU! KEEP TALKING.
Saw your analysis post information Marble Sky and was incredibly intrigued by how well you connected details in the story. I hadn't caught the detail of Holly presumably being an incredibly important member of his species because of his addition to The Vault. That's a very nice catch. Additionally, I do think you're right about the Vault's function being long-term preservation rather than a holding place for people about to be killed. Holly's obviously been there long enough to put down literal roots and has been onserved to be peaceful enough that Ward was placed with him for co-habitation.
Not only does that imply that Sculptors cares about his subjects not killing each other, but he also has found through rooting around in Ward's brain that humans are social creatures and need social interaction to maintain vitality. If he has plans to kill Ward, it wouldn't make sense for him to place him with another inmate, giving him a "roomie" suggests that he plans to keep Ward long-term, and in fair mental condition. The same applies to Holly as well. Nobodies stopped him from growing plants in the Vault, despite him obviously being captured and under surveillance. If we're to assume that proximjty to vegetation is important for teegardians (tbh its important for humans too, but I digress) then it can be assumed that they're trying to keep him sane as well. Not for anything good, mind you, but it implies Sculptor isn't a "mad" scientist but rather a thorough and clinically practical one.
I have Thoughts about other aspects of your analysis (positive ones prommy) but this ask is very long. Anyway A+ analysis you forced me to overcome social anxiety to brain dump in your inbox haha
Thank you♡♡♡♡♡
I love when a scientist who's Objectively A Bad Guy is also Objectively A Good Scientist, it makes everything feel so tactile, if that's the way to describe it. "Some of you will die be horrifically traumatized and violated by weird information scraping biotech. But that is a sacrifice I am willing to make."
There seems to be established protocols around the situation with the humans. 'We found a primitive spacecraft with creatures inside.' 'The edible kind?' Ward says he feels like they're being watched. Ecliptica warns Alcor not to bite Oscar because he doesn't know where he's been. These Are Very Organized People, and because we the audience are more inclined to lean into Oscar's POV than Ward's on account of wanting to see Oscar successfully woo this big scary alien, we don't notice how Fucking Terrifying That Organization Is. An organization facilitated by Sculptor's deeply unethical science because final leadership defaults to Ecliptica due to her being the biggest and strongest.
Like. Like the Echolocators a curious species, but in a universe where they are some of the most dangerous things in space, so everyone, especially high ranking officials like Sculptor and Ecliptica, just confidently takes what they want. The hierarchy within their own colony is functionally the only thing that gives any of them pause. When Ecliptica is testing how far Oscar's trust in her not being a danger to him goes, Alcor fearfully scurries out of his arms because 'Oh shit, the moon is getting up in my space, I gotta get out of here.' and he looks on anxiously as she picks Oscar up because Oscar is his fun big dude who tastes like a great snack when he bites him and has this cool music stuff in his headphones. It's perfectly fine for Alcor to crawl all over and cling to Oscar, but suddenly Oscar is up close and personal with the most dangerous thing in Alcor's life and he just stands next to Ward anxiously flicking his tail around.
I have an idea mostly based around uhhh nothing I guess that it's not that female Echolocators are rare or anything, it's that they're Extremely Territorial and very likely to fucking Kill one another.
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indigo474 · 1 year
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take3- Sunday funday-
I have to say again how i love these edibles- i've built up enough tolerance over 2 nights for the nighttime one to actually work. Its not making me high- just tired. I took 2 of the tiny fast acting sativa pills today-about 5 minutes where i can feel high and then.. just chill.. no high feeling but i do feel good. i have tried the 10 mg ones because ive been taking the 5 and they are fine. I never thought i'd say it but im not really looking for the head high. even when i hit my vape-that high feeling doesnt last- i have to treat the vape like a crack pipe to feel anything really. so.. i think my next step is to dabble in the RSO- slowly..
I had another great run. that's another thing.. i tend to not use because i'm afraid it will interfere with my workout- today it didnt but there have been times where its made me tired and hungry and not want to do anything.. today- great run. i'm a little worried.. once again it's starting to get dark earlier and i am going to lose the park. i would like to start running on the street- a few issues.. it's going to hurt.. my body isnt use to running on hard cement.. i will have to run without my headphones.. its just too dangerous to not be aware of my surroundings.. i'm not sure i can run without music- although today i did for the last 5 minutes.. it wasnt that bad.. August forest sounds . i'll be running in the dark which is dangerous.
i discovered tuna steaks and my life has changed. James his me getting my early. i sort of tried getting out of seeing him but he was pretty much like haha.. i'll see you Monday.. I was just about to delete tinder and some guy messages me. i think its time i delete it- i have 3 guys in my inbox that all gave me their #'s.. and i'm not interested.. so maybe its time to delete. all in all a great day..
'
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londonfoginacup · 6 years
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I’m gonna be really real for a minute, y’all.
My aim in this fandom to have a fucking good time. And you know what? Every single day, I log onto this site, and I see beautiful people doing beautiful things, and i think I love all of y’all, and then I see pictures of Harry and Louis and Liam and Niall and yes, even Zayn, and I think I love my boys. I fucking love them. I love this fandom, and the friendships it’s brought me, and the joys I’ve experienced. The highs and the lows are all worth it. I’m a fucking larrie to the end of time and I’m going to stay on this hellsite to the end of time because I love the people I follow, and I love bunches and bunches of people I don’t follow, and I am the literal embodiment of the below image all the time
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Anyway. Now that that’s out of the way. I have some things to address with the dear anon who just messaged me;
TO: THE “THINK FOR YOURSELF” ANON;
lmao shut the fuck up.
I reblog from who I like. I can, and do, think for myself. In fact, I pride myself on it. I also place little stock on someone coming into my inbox and saying manipulative things all while wearing a mask of anonymity. 
I reblogged a single ask. Because I thought it was funny. Do I really think he sold that few copies? Of course I don’t. I thought it was pretty clear that that couldn’t possibly be true. While I don’t blog about Zayn because this is a One Direction-centric blog and he has removed himself from that narrative, I do still love Zayn. He is my prodigal son and if he showed up at my house I would make him tea and give him maple cookies and play him memes to make him smile. 
But that’s not really the point of all of this. The point is that you probably just followed the links to everyone who reblogged that post, and left them the same message. You probably won’t ever check back and see this message. In your anger, you have unthinkingly spread hate, and probably continue to spread hate, against people you have never met. 
And to you, anon, or anyone else who has left a nasty message in a fandom you call your own, I implore you; think deeply about whether what you’re doing is spreading a good message or a bad one. And think about whether doing so is making you happier or more upset. If sending nasty anons (and that’s what that message was: nasty) makes you more angry and worked up, please reflect on that. Bringing more hatred into the world only breeds more hatred, not results.
Now that that is over with, I will go back to my usual attempts at positive posting! Remember, I love you all! I love Harry and he is out there being his wiggly self. I love Louis and he is out there doing what he needs to to get shit done. I love Harry and Louis and their love. I love Niall and his sarcasm and lack of knowledge on how to hold babies. I love Liam and his zest for life and crinkley eyes. I love Zayn even if I don’t see much of him these days. I love One Dalmation!
In conclusion;
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erensangel444 · 3 years
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just a humble bounty hunter
spike spiegel x reader
DNI if not 16+ thank you!
cowboy bebop fr fr is one of my favorite animes it’s just 😘
this fic is spike x fem!reader, if you guys would want to see some gender-neutral fics just let me know in my asks inbox! i’m open to any suggestions if you want a fic that’s specifically tailored to you whether that be race-wise, gender-wise, any disabilities, etc,. just let me know!
likes/reblogs/comments are always appreciated:D
this fic has been proofread but if i missed something just let me know!
a/n: i want this life plz. ALSO, I LOVE THIS TROPE: two unemotionally available people whose hearts are taken by another, but for some reason, they can’t have the person they want, so they seek out each other for comfort(aka sex), and eventually, it turns in to something more, and there’s a little bit of angst, but in the end, their hearts belong to one another now. IM GONNA CRY :,) i don’t know if that made any sense but ya feel me???
okay don’t beat me up....but this has a cliche confessing-our-love-in-the-rain scene. IM A SUCKER FOR THE CLICHES OKAY?!! also faye’s lowkey a cock-blocker in this?? I LOVE HER THO, i want her to stomp on me.
warnings: language(most of my fics do contain language), stealing, use of drugs(just weed), violence(no death), germs?? bc transfer of something from one person’s mouth to another(just a cherry stem), alcohol consumption, smut; dry humping, unprotected sex w/ creampie, cumplay, oral(male!receiving), mentions of public sex, degradation + praise, 
word count:
summary: attempting to forget the past with a cowboy, unknowingly creating a future.
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you could hear the thrum of electricity throughout the bebop. you slid open your door, the lights near the bottom of the wall lighting the walkway. you walked into the kitchen, the room dark beside the moonlight shining in through the open gateway. you grabbed a soda from the fridge, walking towards the open entrance of the bebop.
you could make out spike’s figure in the distance, the slight flare from his cigarette making him easily distinguishable. you opened your soda, spike’s head turning at the sound. he noticed it was you, taking another puff from his cigarette before smiling at you and turning back around.
you had landed on cacri, a possible bounty in the area. the ship sat in the water for tonight, in a bay that was a docking area for ships. it overlooked the city, and if you turned to the other side, the sea stretched for miles fading into a distance of nothingness. 
you walked over to spike, who was standing at the edge of the ship. you sat down, your legs hanging off of the ship. you set your soda down, sitting back on your arms. “rough night?” you joked, the soft waves of the water brushing against the ship. 
you heard spike chuckle from above you, muttering as he held the cigarette in between his lips, “you could say that,”. you looked up at him, spike already looking down at you. he pulled the cigarette from his lips, holding it out to you, to which you shook your head left and right.
“i prefer more medicinal herbs,” you sighed jokingly, spike smiling down at you. “to each their own,” he mumbled with the cigarette in between his lips, looking back out to the water. you laid your back down on the ship, looking up at the stars. “god that’s what i need right now, some weed,” you declared, sitting back up.  “i’ll be back,” you said, standing up and grabbing your soda from the walkway of the ship. “i’ll come with you,” spike offered, rushing to catch up with you. you pouted mockingly, “think i can’t handle myself?”. you walked into the kitchen with spike, setting your soda down on the island. 
“you’ve shown full and well you can handle yourself,” spike praised, smirking at you, “maybe i’m just interested in partaking in some of those medicinal herbs,”.
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you and spike crammed into your tight ship, the sound of the ship taking off causing ripples along the water. spike had found a 24-hour dispensary not too far away, and you set the ship down about a block away. you walked in, the bell on the door ringing.
a woman sat behind the cash register, smacking her gum loudly. she looked up at you and spike, giving the pair of you an uninterested stare before looking back down at her nail filer.
you looked at spike, raising one eyebrow with a soft smile, spike laughing softly. you walked through the store, grabbing rolling paper and a bag of weed, a strain called “strawnana”. spike couldn’t help but pick up gummy bear edibles, and so you headed to the cashier placing it all out on the countertop in front of you. 
“id,” the cashier grumbled. you realized that you hadn’t brought your id and turned towards spike, looking for a solution. “we forgot em’” spike said plainly. the cashier’s unimpressed look remained. “the legal age here is 18 though, right?” spike asked, though he already knew the answer. “we look over 18 right,” spike smiled, draping his arm over your shoulder and pulling you closer.
“no id, no weed,” the cashier said plainly, pointing to a sign behind her that read ‘we card!’. “you know,” spike started, leaning on the countertop, “i really hate to do this, but,” he grabbed the rolling paper and bud, running towards the door. 
you paused for a moment, before realizing what was going on. you grabbed the gummy bears from atop the counter, running towards spike who was holding the door open. you could hear a “hey! come back here!” from behind you, and you turned to see spike throw up a peace sign to the cashier. 
you ran down the block, running towards your ship. you slowed down, walking for a moment, laughter coming over you. “you’re fucking crazy,” you sighed airily, walking beside spike who let out a soft laugh. 
“we got it though didn’t we?” he said with a smile.
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you and spike were back outside of the bebop, sitting on the take-off strip. the joint was in between your lips as you took a drag, inhaling the substance. you blew it out with a puff, coughing once with a light chuckle before handing it over to spike. 
spike took a hit before blowing out the smoke. the joint had become shorter, barely being held between spike’s fingers. spike deaded the joint, setting it in the ashtray. “yeah, this is what i needed,” you sighed, lying down.  it seemed like the stars were brighter than they were before as you looked up at the sky now.
the soft noise of the waves brushing against the ship lulled you further into a calm state. “do you do this often?” spike asked, turning towards you. “only after we get a bounty, shit’s expensive,” you said honestly, spike laughing softly.
spike laid down next to you, looking up at the stars. “s’pretty huh?” you said simply, turning towards spike. spike hummed out an affirmation, still looking at the sky. you smiled at his expression, turning back towards the sky. 
“it’s cold,” spike said, sitting back up, “let’s go inside,” you offered, standing up and walking back towards the entrance of the bebop. spike was trailing behind you, gummy bear package in hand. 
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the loud noise of the gears turning as the gate to the take-off strip closed finally came to a cease. you plopped down on the couch, sighing softly before spike sat down next to you. “feel real good,” he drawled before lying his head down on your lap and smiling up at you. 
you just laughed softly,  your hand falling to spike’s hair out of instinct. “do you have someone you miss?” spike spoke softly, the conversation taking an abrupt turn. you sucked your bottom lip in before deciding to speak. spike was being vulnerable, the least you could do was reciprocate his vulnerability.
“yeah,” you said plainly, trying to control the shakiness of your voice, “don’t think i’ll ever be able to get em’ back, though. try to tell myself it’s no use to think about them, but i can’t help it,” your voice trailed off towards the end of the sentence.
spike squeezed his eyes shut as if trying to shake away a vision before he spoke quietly, “i miss her, fucked up bringing her into my life,” your hand paused in his hair for a moment, latching onto his every word, “don’t even know where she is, even if i did, i don’t know if i could face her,”. the room grew silent for a moment, your hand resuming its ministrations in spike’s hair.
“love sucks, huh?” you said simply, spike giving you a weak smile. “s’like,” you paused for a moment, trying to collect your thoughts, “no matter how hard you tried to forget, it’s still there, still in the back of your mind,”. spike’s eye lit up at your words. he pushed into your hand, and you hadn’t even realized your hand had stopped.
you continued playing with his hair as spike spoke, “i try so hard not be stuck in my past, but it’s always there, like you said, in the back of my mind,”. you looked down at spike nodding. the room grew silent once more, neither of you itching to say anything. 
“jus’ wanna forget,” spike said, his voice breaking slightly. he sat up abruptly, leaning beside you on the couch. he turned to face you, his face closer to you now. “don’t you wanna forget?” he said, his eyes crinkling. you could feel the heat flush to your cheeks, and you nodded, afraid your words would betray you.
next thing you knew spike’s lips were on yours. you hesitated for a moment before reveling in the feel of the kiss. your hands fell to spike’s hair, spike’s hands tracing down your body. his hands gripped your hips, pulling you onto his lap. you let out a slight gasp, pulling away for a moment and looking at spike.
you kissed him once more, mumbling into spike’s lips, “jus’ to forget,”. spike lifted a bit off of the couch, trying to lean into the kiss more, his hands drifting to your backside. spike hummed into your lips, agreeing. 
spike was peeling your shirt over your head as your fingers fumbled with the buttons on his shirt. the kiss was quickly becoming more desperate, muffled moans and grunts falling from both of your lips. you couldn’t help but rock on spike’s laps, your arousal dampening your panties.
“sh-shit,” spike pulled away, leaning his head back on the couch. you continued to grind on his lap, your hands tracing over his chest, his shirt fully unbuttoned. “jus’ like that,” he groaned, before pulling you in for another kiss, your whimpers being muffled by his lips
your hands fell to the button of his pants, fumbling with the item before an abrupt clearing of the throat interrupted you. you pulled away from spike’s lips quickly, looking towards the doorway. 
faye was leaning along the wall, smirking at the pair of you. you quickly removed yourself from spike’s lap, grabbing your shirt from the floor. “and to think i only came for a glass of water and got a free show,” 
“s’not for free actually, pay up” spike grumbled, buttoning back up his shirt. you stood up from the couch, desperately wanting to cave in on yourself as you spoke softly, “goodnight, spike,”. 
you looked down at the man, an apologetic expression on your face. “goodnight,” he said, smiling up softly at you.“night, faye,” you said, passing by her. “night y/n!” she yelled down the hall, “cute bra by the way,”. 
“shut up faye!”
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you hadn’t gotten much sleep that night, tossing and turning, throwing the covers off of your body before curling up in them once more. you knew faye was going to give you shit about it in the morning, and you could deal with that. 
but what did this mean for you and spike?
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you awoke to ein licking at your face, ed chanting at the end of your bed, “bacon! bacon! bacon!” she grinned, ein barking at her excitement. “alright, fine,” you grumbled, “just get ein off of me!”.
edward grabbed the dog from the bed, ein licking her face, “yuck! your breath stinks ein,”. you laughed at edward, patting ein’s head. “come on, ed,” you said, walking down the halls of the bebop. you were silently praying that spike was still asleep.
you walked into the kitchen to find faye sitting at the countertop, drinking coffee. she smirked at you over her cup, “good morning, sunshine!” she said in a sweet tone, “morning faye,” you replied. you turned to look at her, grabbing the bacon from the fridge. 
she set her coffee cup down at the countertop, smiling at you. “faye,” you whined, drawing out the e. “we have a lot to discuss, very important things to discuss,” she whispered, ed sitting on the floor playing with ein.
“let me at least make some coffee first,” you grumbled, putting the first piece of bacon onto the pan. 
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ed was happily chewing on her bacon, playing chess in the living room. you and faye sat at the countertop, coffee cups in hand. “first off,” faye started, and you prepared yourself for the slew of judgements to be thrown at you. “what the fuck?”.
“let me explain,” you assured her, faye just clicking her tongue against the roof of her mouth, “no need for explanations, it was like i walked in on a porno,” “hey! it was not that bad,” you chastised, looking back down to your coffee.
“we were high, it didn’t mean anything, trust me,” you said, taking a sip of your coffee. your stomach turned at your words, but you ignored it. “it better not of, cause we’ve got a bounty to catch, and i can’t have you lovebugs getting in the way of cold, hard money,” faye said.
you laughed softly, “you’re just gonna gamble it away anyways,”. faye pushed your shoulder, “and who’s gonna be getting wasted at the bar while i invest my money wisely,” she teased. “oh yeah, you’re a prime example of a smart spender. at least my money is wasted on vodka,”. she took a sip from her coffee, “is that really that much better?”.
you both laughed softly, ed cheering from across the room at a smart chess move she had made. you and faye sat at the countertop for a while, conversing. faye had gone to shower, leaving you in the kitchen. you washed your two coffee cups, drying them off afterwards.
“morning, spike!” you heard ed say happily from across the room, your eyes shooting up. “g’morning kid,” he grumbled, walking over to the countertop while rubbing his eyes. “morning,” you said, trying to contain a sense of normalcy within your voice.
“hey,” he said, his voice softening. “i-i’m gonna go shower,” you said, spike nodding. you walked out of the kitchen, rushing towards your bathroom once you were out of spike’s line of sight.
“slow down, speed racer,” jet joked as you brushed past him. “sorry, jet,” you said, smiling sheepishly. you opened the door to your bathroom, closing it quickly after.
you leaned against the metal of the door, taking a deep breath. why couldn’t you just act normal? last night hadn’t meant anything, it was just to forget. you rationalized last night, realizing your actions were out of proportion. spike wouldn’t act differently, so you decided not to either.
a knock on the door broke you from your thoughts. you unlocked it, sliding open the door. “spike?” the man pushed inside of the bathroom, closing the door behind him. “can’t just fuckin ignore it,” he said, shaking his head.
“wanted more last night,” he said, staring at you intently. “know you did too,”. “spike, w-we can’t,” you reasoned, spike backing you up against the wall. “why not? it’s harmless sex,” “harmless sex,” you repeated. spike nodded, “just to forget,” you whispered, “just to forget,” spike repeated.
you pulled him in for a kiss, moaning at contact. you had been itching for the feel of his lips on yours since last night. his hands quickly fell to the bottom of your shirt, lifting it over your head. he pulled away for a moment, unbuttoning his own shirt before his lips found yours once more.
your hand fell to his pants, tugging at them, hoping that spike would get the message. he read you loud and clear, pulling his sweats down and attempting to shimmy out of them. his pants pooled at his feet as he tugged at your sleep shorts pulling them down your body.
spike lifted you up, your legs latching around his waist. he stepped out of his sweats, walking you over to the countertop. his hand drifted to your lace-covered center, rubbing at your clit through the fabric. “can feel it through your panties, you’re dripping,” spike teased. “fuck,” you sighed, your head falling back into the mirror.
“can’t say i’m much better,” spike groaned, grabbing your hand and pulling it to his bulge. you gasped slightly, looking at him. he was big. spike just smirked up at you, grinding his bulge against your center. the fabric between the two of you created more friction, whimpers falling freely from your lips as spike groaned lowly into your shoulder.
he placed kisses onto your skin, pulling away for a moment, “want it?” he asked, grinding into you more. “gonna-fuck-gonna be too loud,” you whined, looking at spike. spike pulled away from you completely and you whimpered at the loss of contact. 
he turned on the shower, the water falling from the showerhead, creating noise as it hit the floor of the shower. “problem solved,” he said, smiling at you. he kissed you once more, his fingers pulling your panties to the side, rubbing at your slit. he moaned into your mouth pulling away, “won’t even need to prep you, so fuckin’ ready for me,” spike said, his eyes staring at his finger rubbing through your slit, the digit quickly becoming covered in your slick.
“n-need you inside!” you yelped as spike’s thumb rubbed at your clit. “fuck,” spike sighed, pulling his boxers down your legs. you shimmied out of your panties, lifting your hips from the countertop of the sink. you kicked them onto the floor, grabbing at the back of spike’s head, kissing him. he pulled away breathless, looking at you.
“you’re sure?” he asked. you couldn’t help the way your heart slightly palpitated as you nodded eagerly. “are you?” you asked, your hand rubbing at the back of his neck. he nodded the same as you had. “okay,” you said quietly, spike repeating the word as he pushed into you slowly.
you both let out a slight gasp at the push inside, smiling at one another after. as spike pushed further inside, the whimpers and mewls falling from your lips grew in volume. he bottomed out, pulling you in for a kiss, groaning into your mouth. 
“so fuckin’ tight, clenching on me,” spike groaned. you whined as spike pulled out slightly, thrusting back into you. you both let out airy moans at that. spike was breathing deeply as you adjusted to the feel of his cock inside of you. “m-move!” you mewled, desperate for more, “please, want it!”. spike obliged, his eyes lingering on his cock pushing in and out of you. 
his eyes raked over your body, looking up at your face contorted in pleasure. “so good, spike! s-so good!” you whimpered. his cock brushed against your walls, hitting that sweet spot deep inside of you. “oh fuck,” spike moaned airily. 
he nuzzled his face into your neck, his moans and groans muffled by your skin. “c-close!” you yelped. spike pulled away from your lips, his forehead pressing against yours. “come on,” he said, his voice shaky. “lemme feel it, wanna feel you cum on my cock, come on, angel,” he rambled, thrusting in and out of you at a rough pace now.
spike brought his thumb down to your clit, rubbing quick circles on the bundle of nerves. “s-spike!” you moaned as you came on his cock, your toes curling, a mantra of spike’s name falling from your lips. 
spike took in your expression, your eyebrows furrowed, your tongue lolling out of your mouth slightly. he looked down to the ring of white around his cock, moaning at the sight. he looked back up at you, your eyes open now. 
“cum inside, i’m on the pill,” you said, panting. “wanna feel it inside me,” you whimpered. spike moaned, throwing his head back. your hands traced over his abs, your nails scratching softly at the skin. “y/n, fuck, gonna, gonna-” spike groaned. his head fell into your shoulder, his moans muffled by your shoulder as his warm load filled you.
you sighed as spike’s thrust slowed, spike bottoming out once more. “fuck,” he sighed, the explicit turning into a soft laugh. you joined in, laughing softly. you pulled him in for another kiss, smiling into his lips. 
he pulled out of you, causing you to wince at the stretch. you closed your legs abruptly, not wanting his cum to leak out of you and onto the floor. “no keep em open,” he said, his hand falling to your thigh, “wanna see it pool out of you,”. you raised an eyebrow at him, “i’ll clean it up,” he promised. you obliged, opening your thighs.
“fuck,” spike groaned, watching his cum leak out of you. you laughed softly at his astonishment, spike looking up at you. “what’s so funny?” he asked, smirking. “didn’t take you as being interested in cum play, but now that i think about it though, it makes a lot of sense,” you teased, smiling at him. 
“what’s that supposed to mean?” he said, raising his eyebrow. “oh, nothing,” you joked, grinning at him now. you pushed yourself off of the countertop, standing next to spike now. “get in the shower, bozo,” he joked. 
“only if you join,” you teased, leaning close to him, “ya kinda smell like shit, spike,” you joked. “smell didn’t bother you earlier, huh?” spike teased, smiling at you. you felt your cheeks flush with heat as you stepped into the shower, spike behind you.
the water cascaded over your bodies, your head pressed against spike’s chest as the smell of your tangerine soap flooded your senses.
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the bounty was on a well-known gambler, who had a tendency to rob casinos where he had lost his money. he always had two pretty women on his arms, though it boggled your mind how he did, the man not being particularly attractive, his personality even worse.
that’s why you had an issue with the plan to catch this bounty. you and faye were sent in to be his arm-candy for the night. the plan was to approach him at the bar, he’d take one look at the two of you, and drag you to whatever table he and his entourage sat at that night.
faye had gone in a dark red, spaghetti strap gown, and you in a black strapless gown, the top of your breasts peeking out perfectly from the dress. your hair had been pinned up, a few strands falling to frame your face. 
you walked out from your room in the chosen attire for the night, a scowl on your face. faye whistled as you entered the room with a yell of “do a little spin,”. her commentary brought a smile to your face as you smiled softly with a holler of “you first,”.
you looked over to spike, his eyes raking over your figure. you couldn’t help the feeling in your stomach, spike’s eyes raising to your face and offering you a sheepish smile, knowing he’d been caught.
you laughed softly to yourself as jet began explaining the plan for tonight. 
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you stood at the bar, sipping on a vodka cranberry as you waited for the bounty to approach the bar. faye and you had on undetectable earpieces as you leaned against the bar, scouting the area. spike sat at a blackjack table not too far from the bar, acting as a protective measure. 
you knew as soon the bounty entered, a large mass of people coming into the bar, everyone turning to them and murmuring. you and faye just had to wait patiently until they approached the bar. you figured that the group would secure a table before coming to the bar. 
you toyed with the ice in your cup, sighing softly. “he’s headed over,” you heard spike’s voice in your ear, shivering at the sound. you put on your best fake smile, sitting down on the bar stool. you pushed your arms together, accentuating your cleavage.
faye sat opposite of you, in a similar pose. “right behind you,” spike said, your body slightly tensing before you forced yourself to relax. “what are two beautiful ladies like you doing all alone?” the man groveled, an ugly grin on his face.
god, men were so predictable. 
you turned around on your stool, forcing a sultry smile onto your expression. “looking for someone to make us feel less alone,” you said in a seductive tone, the man laughing softly.  “you’re in luck then,” the man drawled, grabbing you by your waist and spinning you into him.
you had to physically stop the bile forming in your throat, letting out an airy giggle in response. spike’s voice was sounding through your earpiece, “never heard you laugh like that before,”. you tried your best ignored spike’s commentary, latching your arm around the man, faye on the opposite side of him.
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you had been seated at a poker table for a good hour now, clapping your hands together enthusiastically to cheer on the man who was your bounty for the night. you had grown exhausted with your facade, but you just had to wait for the perfect opportunity. 
you leaned up against the man’s side, your hand falling to his thigh. “think i left something in my ship, would you mind walking me out?” you said, peering up at him your eyes wide.
he clicked his tongue to the side of his mouth, smirking, before grabbing your waist, and sliding out of the booth. he walked you out of the casino, his hand falling to your backside, full-on grabbing your ass. you held back from ripping his dirty hands off at you, silently praying for the moment where you could give this fucker what he deserved.
“where’s your ship?” he said as you got further into the parking lot. you just smirked at that, faye walking out from the casino. “about that,” you sighed before landing a roundhouse kick to the man’s face. he fell to the ground groaning, and you kicked him once in his stomach for good measure.
you knelt down next to him, pulling the gun from his pants as you hovered over his face, “just so you know, not every woman wants your grimy hands all over them, i’m not a piece of fuckin property,”. you stood back up fully, towering over the man. spike walked out from behind his ship, handcuffs in hand. 
“you, though,” he drawled, sitting the man up and handcuffing his hands behind his back, “are property of the bebop,”. you just smiled at spike, walking him back to spike’s ship. “hurry before his buddies come out here,” you said, basically shoving the man into spike’s ship
“sure you can handle em?” he asked, full and well knowing you were capable of defending yourself. “have i ever had a problem?” you smirked, spike just laughing softly. the pair of you walked away from spike’s ship and back to the entrance of the casino. just in time, you thought. 
“sorry, boys,” you smirked, walking over to the group. faye had positioned herself along the wall of the building, acting as backup for when the fight began. “seems like your friend left,” you shrugged.
“you bitch!” one of his friends shouted, charging at you. you dodged the punch he had thrown, grabbing his arm before flipping him onto his back on the ground. he laid there, squirming in pain. a second man charged at you, spike easily stopping him by swiping the man’s leg with his foot. the man tumbled over, spike landing a kick to his face for good measure.
“who’s next?”
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you, faye and spike had cleared out the group, the men laying near the exit of the casino, moans of pain sounding out in the silence of the night. “see ya back on the bebop,” you waved to faye, then to spike with a smile, opening the door to your ship. 
you had decided that after all your hard work, you deserved a treat. you set your ship down near the closest 24 hour liquor store. you opened the door, a bell ringing. you gave a soft wave to the cashier before ducking down the isle, in search of a bottle of wine. 
you grabbed the cheapest one from the shelf, shuffling through the items in your clutch, pulling out your id and card. you set the wine down in front of the cashier, “this all?” he asked, to which you nodded simply. “5.50,” he totaled the amount, and you handed him your card. 
“have a good night,” you said simply, opening the door of the liquor store, the cold air brushing against your face as you walked back to your ship.
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“rough night?” spike joked, walking into the living room of the bebop. you simply smiled at the parallel of his words with yours from the night before as you spoke, “guess you could say that,” you sighed, propping your feet up on the table.
the clock read 2:37 AM. the bounty you had collected tonight was on a man named hobi jones, wanted for numerous armed robberies. he now was in the holding cell of the bebop, the plan being to drop him off to the police station in the morning. 
“looks like you’ve turned to the drink,” spike commented, his hand motioning to the bottle you brought to your lips. “a little cheap wine never hurt anybody,” you smiled, handing the bottle over to him. “merlot? didn’t realize it was that bad of night,” spike joked, taking a sip from the bottle.
“hey!” you laughed, “i chose the cheapest shit, not my fault i’m a broke bounty hunter,” “kinda is your fault,”. you both sat in silence for a moment, passing the bottle amongst yourselves. “you’re plotting,” spike said, eyeing you. you turned to him with a raised eyebrow, “huh?” you said simply, smiling softly.
“well, i mean, you’re sitting on the couch, looking like this” his eyes raked over your figure, “and you seduced me into joining you for a bottle of wine,” “seduced you?” you asked, your smile growing now. “if anything,” you teased, setting the bottle down on the table before positioning yourself atop spike’s lap, “i think you coming in here shirtless, practically naked, is a bit slutty, don’t you agree?”. 
spike laughed softly at your words, his hands falling to your hips as he rutted you against his lap, “what are you gonna do about it?” he said simply. your lips were on his in an instance, soft hums falling from both of your lips. “looked so fuckin’ good in that dress tonight,” spike mumbled into your lips, his hands digging into your ass.
“w-wanna blow you,” you whimpered, pulling away from spike’s lips. “god, please,” he groaned, looking down at you as you kissed down his chest. your hands fell to the waistband of his sweatpants, tugging them down his legs. you palmed him through his boxers, his cock already half-hard. 
you tapped at his left thigh, spike lifting his hips up slightly. you tugged the boxers down his body, the fabric pooling around spike’s feet. his cock sprung up, slapping softly against his stomach. “fuck,” you sighed airily, your thumb rubbing across his slit, spreading his precum against the tip of his cock.
“shit,” spike hissed, leaning into your touch. one hand hovered one spike’s thigh, softly scratching at the skin. you wrapped your mouth around the tip, sucking gently, spike letting out a loud sigh. your free hand wrapped around the base of spike’s cock, moving up and down his length along with your mouth.
you pulled away from his member, a string of saliva connected to your lips. you grinned up at spike, the man putting a hand over his eyes with a mutter of “you’re trying to fuckin’ kill me,”. you laughed softly, your eyes falling back down to his cock. 
you planted your hands on his thigh, mumbling against the tip of his cock,  “fuck my throat,”. spike’s breath hitched as he stared down at you, his jaw slack. “please,” you whimpered, squeezing your eyes shut in embarrassment. you opened your eyes at the feeling of spike’s thumb brushing across your cheek. 
“yeah? open wide then, tongue out,” spike smirked down at you. your tongue lolled out of your mouth, spike’s hands latching into your hair as he inched your mouth down his cock. “fuck,” he drew out the word, “so good,”. your nose brushed against the skin of his pelvis as you gagged around his cock, your nails digging into his thigh.
“fuck,” he groaned, pulling you off of his cock, “looked so pretty choking on my cock,”. tears were forming in your eyes, close to pooling over your lower lid. a string of spit was connected to your mouth as you panted, catching your breath. “want my cum down your throat?” spike asked, already knowing the answer.
you nodded eagerly, planting your hands back on his thighs. “just use me,” you whined, your hand falling into your panties and rubbing at your clit. spike’s hands were back on your hair, your mouth wrapping around his saliva covered member. “shit,” spike groaned, thrusting into your mouth slightly. “just want me to use you, huh?” his voice was shaky now, spike getting closer to his release.
you gagged on his cock, the sound of you choking sounding throughout the room. tears were falling down your cheeks now, your nose slightly runny, but you reveled in it. you loved the sound of spike losing his mind above you, his hands gripping your hair tighter.
“gonna flood your throat-shit-gonna take it all right?” spike moaned. you couldn’t answer, your mouth full of his cock. spike didn’t wait for an answer, his hip thrusting up once as he pushed you against the base of his cock, your nose pushed against the skin of his pelvis. spike’s load burst into your throat as you tried to swallow in time with the spurts.
he pulled you off his cock slightly, only the tip of his cock on your tongue as one of his hands fell to jerk his length. some of his cum dribbled down your chin as you breathed heavily. spike’s hands fell onto the couch next to him, spike throwing his head back. he looked back down at you, your hands in between your legs, your slick covering your fingers.
“i came,” you whimpered softly, bringing your finger to your lips and wrapping your mouth around the digit. spike laughed softly from above you, “so fuckin’ dirty,” he drawled, his fingers collecting the cum from your chin before being pushed into your mouth, your fingers sucking on his digit.
you smiled up at spike once he removed his finger from your mouth, sighing softly before standing up. “get to bed,” you said softly, “we’ve got some money to make tomorrow,”. spike smiled up at you, “drinks tomorrow?” he said, causing you to pause in walking to your bedroom.
you turned to look at him over your shoulder, grinning, “only if you’re paying,”
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the crew had collected a decent amount of money from the bounty, the sum being spent between the four of you, and ed received spending money out of each of your amounts. 
your newfound--and most likely short-lived--wealth was being spent at the bar, spike sitting on the stool next to you. “another round please,” spike raised his hand slightly, the bartender nodding. your cheek was on your hand, your arm leaning on the countertop as you faced spike. 
“you wanna know why i’m such a good kisser,” spike leaned next to your ear, whispering. you laughed softly, raising one eyebrow, “who said you were a good kisser?” you teased. the bartender poured more vodka into your two shot glasses, spike asking for a small bowl of cherries.
“you know i’ll let that dig slide,” he smirked at you, “only cause you look so good,”. you blushed at spike’s words, regaining your composure, “not to bad yourself, spiegel,” you smiled softly. the bartender placed a small glass bowl of cherries next to spike, spike uttering out a short thanks.
“back to my amazing kissing skills,” he said confidently, causing your smile to grow. “watch this,” he said, staring you intently. he took one of the cherries, the stem held in between his thumb and pointer finger. he popped the fruit into his mouth, only the stem held in between his fingers.
“now for the main event,” he smiled, placing the cherry stem on his tongue. he closed his mouth, still staring at you, his eyes twinkling. you could see his cheeks moving, his tongue tying the cherry tongue into a knot. 
he stuck his tongue out, his words jumbled, “see? told you,”. spike stuck his tongue back in his mouth as you muttered, “oh shut up,” attaching your lips to his. the kiss took spike by surprise before he melted into it, his hand falling to your waist. you pulled away, smiling at spike before sticking out your tongue, the cherry stem on your tongue. “see?” you drawled, mimicking spike.
the night ended with spike hiking up your dress in one of the bathroom stalls, his cock pushing into your warm walls. 
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you woke up with a blasting headache, the alcohol from last night coming back in full-swing. you groaned, sitting up in your bed, your head in your hands. begrudgingly, you made your way to the kitchen.
the bebop was unnaturally quiet, ed’s laughter wasn’t sounding throughout the living room, nor was faye’s ridiculing tone. you walked into the kitchen, spike sitting at one of the stools at the island. 
“where is everybody?” you asked, pouring yourself coffee from the pot. “jet is at the bank making an investment or some dumb shit like that, faye’s at the casino, and ed,” he paused for a moment, “i don’t know where ed is,”.
you laughed softly, “she always finds her way back here so i’m not too worried,”. you groaned quietly, rubbing at your forehead. “hangover?” spike questioned, to which you nodded. “mrs. cherry stem can’t hold her alcohol then?” spike teased. you just shook your head with a soft smile, “fuck off,” you joked, standing up and opening the kitchen cabinets in search for advil.
“if anything,” you started, finding the advil and popping open the container, “you’re mr. cherry stem, you started that bullshit,”. you put the advil container back away walking over to the stool you were sitting in. 
“i thought you’d be glad i started it, i mean from the way you were yelling my name in the bathroom last night,” he raised his voice an octave, taking on a more nasally tone, “spike! spike!”. you shoved him in his shoulder, spike mocking hurt as he clutched his shoulder with a pouted lip.
“you know you really shouldn’t take advil, doesn’t help much,” he said plainly, taking a sip from his coffee. “i have a much better hangover cure,” he proclaimed, standing up from his seat. you couldn’t help but smile as you watched him shuffle around the kitchen, pulling out a multitude of items.
when he had finally gathered everything, he pointed his finger at you, raising and eyebrow as he tried to contain a smile. “now watch very closely, i’ll only teach you this once,”. you laughed softly, raising your hand to your forehead in salute.
“raw egg yolk,” spike said, cracking the egg into a bowl, your upper lip curling in disgust. “bear with me,” he chuckled. he grabbed the yolk with a spoon, separating it from the egg whites. he placed it into the glass, smiling at you. 
“pepper,” he said, sprinkling the seasoning from the canister on top of the egg yolk in the glass. “now for my favorite part,” he celebrated, grabbing the bottle of gin, pouring some of the liquid into the glass.
“why do i feel like this is gonna make me more drunk if anything,” you sighed, laying your head on your arms as you watched spike. he smiled, “would that really be that bad?”. you chuckled in response, looking over at spike as he grabbed the hot sauce with a proclamation, “last ingredient!”.
“and there you have it, my speciality, a prairie oyster,” he cheered, pushing the glass over to you. “spike,” you began to complain, drawing out his name. “jus’ try it! it works wonders, promise you,” he reassured you. 
“if i die, i’m haunting you in the afterlife,” “i’d welcome it,”. you grabbed the glass, lifting it to your mouth, swallowing the entirety of its substance. “yuck,” you exclaimed after swallowing, sticking out your tongue. “they grow up so fast,” spike teased, causing you to smile over at him. 
“you want pancakes?” you asked, standing up from your stool as you moved throughout the kitchen, grabbing pancake mix from the pantry, blueberries from the fridge. “you know me so well,” spike said, standing up after you. he leaned on the wall, watching you mix the pancake batter.
“need some music,” he stated, grabbing his phone. dream by the pied pipers began playing through the speaker of his phone, spike’s arms wrapping around your waist as he nuzzled his face into your neck. “gonna make me burn myself,” you laughed, pouring the batter into the pan.
“dance with me then,” spike said, spinning you around. you gasped before smiling up at him. “may i have this dance?” he joked, curtsying. “you may,” the grin audible in your voice as you held out your hand.
spike grabbed your hand, pulling you close, his hands falling to your waist, your hands latching behind his neck. he hadn’t stopped looking at you, a soft smile still on his face. you shuffled around the kitchen, step-together-step, spike grinning now. 
“my pancake’s gonna burn,” you laughed softly, leaning up to give spike a chaste kiss before wiggling out of his hold. you walked over to the stove, grabbing the spatula and flipping the pancake over.
spike’s arms were around your waist once more, spike leaving soft kisses on your exposed shoulder, only a thin tank top strap covering the skin. “so clingy today, spike,” you teased. “jus’ wanna be close,” he mumbled into your skin. “s’alright,” you said softly, your cheeks flushing with heat.
you felt that familiar feeling clutch onto your heart, but you pushed it away, not wanting to recognize what it meant, not wanting to be reminded of its familiarity. 
faye’s voice broke you from the comfort of spike’s arms, “hello lovebirds,” she said, walking over to the kitchen island. “faye,” you reprimanded slightly, telling her not to go any further. she just laughed, raising an eyebrow at you as spike now stood further away from you. he paused the music on his phone, his eyes still lingering on your face.
“you can take the first one spike,” you said, placing the blueberry pancake on a plate and handing it to spike.  
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you were sitting on your bed, your mini yamaha keyboard sitting in front of you. your fingers played different chords as you quietly sung along. a knock on your door broke you from your tranquility as you raised your voice, “come in,”.
the door slid open, spike standing behind it. “hey,” you said, smiling up at him. you hadn’t really talked since this morning, faye interrupting whatever moment was going on between the two of you. maybe it was a good thing that she had interrupted you. 
maybe you were getting to attached, maybe this was becoming more than just forgetting. was it more for spike? “y/n, hey,” spike waved his hand in front of your face breaking you from your thoughts. “sorry,” you muttered, “zoned out for a sec, what’d ya need,” you said, patting the bed for spike to sit down.
he sat, tracing his finger across your keyboard, “didn’t know you played,” he said, looking at you intently. “not very well,” you smiled, “plus it’s a mini keyboard, not much i can do with it,” “play something for me,” spike suggested.
“i’m really not very good spi-” “please?” he asked, and you couldn’t help but oblige. your fingers pressed on the simple chords, your voice adding onto the music.
“sweet creature,” you sung softly, “had another talk about where it’s going wrong,”. you continued singing, your fingers pressing the keys in accordance to the notes you were singing. you couldn’t look up at spike, embarrassment consuming you as your eyes remained glued to your keyboard.
unable to cope with the feeling brewing in your stomach, you lifted your hand away from the keyboard. you mustered up the courage to look up at spike, his cheeks flushed a light pink, “y-your voice,” his voice broke for a moment, and you could visibly see him swallow. his voice grew quieter, “it’s really pretty,”.
you both sat there in silence for a moment. you could see the slightest hint of hurt etched on spike’s face, but it wasn’t your room to question why. you just wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him in for a hug and muttering a “thank you,” into his skin. 
you don’t know how long you remained that way, but eventually spike’s arms were clutching onto you, your body acting as his anchor. you were his anchor.
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though the two of you had gotten distracted for a moment, spike had originally come into your room to ask if you wanted to go grab something to eat. you now sat in a booth at spike’s favorite ramen restaurant. “s’good huh?” spike smiled as he watched you slurp up noodles.
“why have i never been invited here before?” you chastised jokingly, “can’t believe you would hide something like this from me,” you said dramatically, grabbing more noodles with your chopsticks. “i’ll only come here with you from now on,” spike promised. you couldn’t help the way your heartbeat quickened at his words.
“they give free matcha ice cream after the meal too,” spike added. you dropped your chopsticks into your bowl, looking over at spike with a smile. “i think i’m in heaven,” you reasoned, spike laughing softly.
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spike had asked for the ice cream to go, and the pair of you now walked around the city center, matcha ice creams in hand. you pointed out a boutique, you and spike walking inside. the store was full of jewelry, candles, and other random items. you scanned through the rings sitting in a jewelry case. 
your eye fell on a green aventurine ring, the jewel grabbing your attention.”the green one?” spike asked, turning towards you. you looked at him with a raised eyebrow, a soft smile on your face, “how’d you know?” you asked, looking back down at the ring.
“suits you,” he said, his shoulder brushing against yours, “get it,”. you shook your head, turning to look around the store, “blew most of my bounty money already, shouldn’t spend anymore,” you reasoned. “did i say you’d be paying?” spike said, almost as though it puzzled him that you thought you’d pay for your own ring.
“spike, i can’t let you d-” “quit being stubborn, grab the ring,” he interrupted, walking towards the cash register. you grabbed the ring, quickly following behind him. the cashier rang it up with a mumble of, “7 dollars and 37 cents”. spike handed her a 10 dollar bill before grabbing your hand and leading you out of the store.
he grabbed your hand, slipping the ring on your pointer finger, “s’pretty,” he murmured, looking back up at your face. “yeah,” you said softly, and before your brain could catch up, you were wrapping your arms around his body and pulling him in for a hug.
“thank you,” you mumbled into spike’s chest, the giving a short hum in answer.
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though cacri had been a beautiful planet, you were glad to be somewhere with a beautiful beach. hot, white sand that toasted the soles of your feet, almost crystal clear water. you were lounging in a beach chair, an umbrella over your face. you were reading an old play titled blithe spirit, you had picked it up from a bookstore after the ramen date with spike.
you reasoned that you shouldn’t call it a date, feelings already being designated as non-acceptable. you sighed, pushing your sunglasses onto your hair. though spike was the reason for your inner turmoil, you couldn’t help but watch him splash ed with water. 
he had a huge grin on his face, and you could hear his laughter. your eyes raked further down his body, pausing on his abdomen before you turned your attention back to your book. 
“you brought food right,” you heard spike’s voice, lifting your head as you saw him jogging towards you. ‘mhm’ you nodded, leaning over your chair and tapping on the picnic basket.
“ohh yum,” spike cheered, pulling out the container of chocolate covered strawberries. “want one?” he said, holding the fruit out to you. you accepted with a smile, biting down on the chocolate covered delicacy. a small amount of juice dribbled down your chin, spike laughing softly at you.
“always so messy,” he sighed, his thumb collecting the strawberry juice before bringing the digit to his tongue and lifting it up. you could feel the heat in your cheeks, that familiar tingle spreading throughout your body. 
“bathing suit’s pretty on you,” he complimented, his eyes raking over your figure with a smirk. he bit the chocolate covered strawberry whole, placing the remains on the cover of the container. 
“thanks for the snack,” spike grinned, running back down towards the shoreline. jet groaned from beside you, flipping over onto his back. 
“you guys disgust me,” he grumbled.
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jet and ed walked back to jet’s ship with calls of, “see you back on the ship,”. faye had spent the day at the casino, and you teased her slightly for it earlier in the morning when she discussed her plans for the day.
you and spike had crammed into his ship for the beach trip, and you found yourself attempting to stuff towels and a picnic basket into the tight area. eventually, you both were seated, spike’s ship lifting off. 
“heard this song the other day,” spike said, looking at you for a second before focusing his attention back in front of him. “search up hey lover by daughter’s of eve,” he said, tilting his head towards his phone that sat in the center console of the ship. 
you grabbed the device, typing in the song title. music flooded the speakers of spike’s ship as you smiled at his head bobbing along to the beat. “hey hey hey lover,” spike sung off pitch, causing you to laugh softly.
he smiled over at you, “s’ earth music,” he said, turning the volume down slightly. “from the 1960s or something, long time ago,” “s’neat,” you smiled over at him. spike’s hand fell back to the volume nozzle, the music growing louder once more. 
spike’s hand grabbed yours causing you to gasp softly. he closed your hand into a fist, using it as a makeshift microphone as he continued to sing off-key. “focus on getting us back to the bebop,” you laughed softly, pulling your hand from his hold.
you sought out comfort from spike, your hand grabbing his. you soon realized the gravity of your actions, planning to pull away, but spike’s hand softly squeezed yours. you let your hands rest latched together on the center console as the moon began its ascent in the night sky. 
spike had come into your room that night, his body snuggling against yours under the cover. your soft breaths became synchronized as his arm wrapped around your midsection, the pair of you drifting off into sleep
that morning when you woke up, spike was no longer next to you.
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you couldn’t help but wonder what you had done wrong. did he realize you had fallen in love with him? did you even realize it? you shook away the thoughts, getting into your ship.
spike had ignored you the entirety of the day, rushing out of the kitchen once he had seen you. you had decided that you needed some weed, something to calm you down. you were using it as a coping mechanism. you hadn’t gotten high in a while, most of your time spent with spike. 
you had blanked out the entire flight there, your brain on autopilot. you set your ship down, pushing open the door as you stepped out of your ship. the bell on the dispensary door rang, the cashier giving you a soft wave which you returned with a smile. you grabbed rolling paper, and a small bag of bud, the cashier totaling the amount.
“thanks,” you said softly, pushing open the door. you walked back to your ship, your mind flooded with images of spike, overrun with worries. on a lighter note, the planet you were on for this next bounty was actually one you had been to before. 
there was a beautiful lookout area that you had gone to with faye, and in no rush to return to the bebop, you set your destination for the lookout spot.
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you had only been at the lookout for about 30 minutes when you felt the first drop of rain hit your skin. “fuck,” you grumbled. you set the joint down onto the dirt, stepping on it before you rushed into your ship. the rain was hitting the windshield, your ship lifting off as you headed back to the bebop.
the rain seemed to worsen as you got closer to the bebop, the raindrops hitting your windshield sounding like pellets. you set your ship down on the landing strip of the bebop, groaning at the thought of having to rush inside. you prepared yourself for the feeling of the cold rain on your skin, pushing open the door of your ship.
you yelped slightly, rushing down the landing strip and towards the entrance gate, which to your surprise, was already open. a figure was rushing towards you, and you soon made it out to be spike. the ship had been set down in the water for the night, close to the harbor, the lamplights from the sidewalk lighting up spike’s face.
“where were you,” he yelled as he rushed over to you. “you didn’t care earlier,” you grumbled walking towards the entrance of the bebop. spike grabbed your hand, turning you back towards him. “i was worried about you,” he yelled over the sound of the rain, and you couldn’t tell if tears were forming in your eyes or if it was just the rain. 
“yeah?” you yelled, your voice shaky, “all i’ve been doing all fucking day is worrying about you!” you ennunciated the last word with a jab to his chest. the rain was still coming down hard, your eyes squinting. “i can’t-” your voice hiccuped, your throat feeling tighter, “c-can’t do this anymore, spike,”. 
spike eyes remained at you, his bottom lip under his upper one. “it was jus’ to forget right?” you continued at spike’s silence, “so it doesn’t matter,”. you turned back walking towards the entrance once more.
“wasn’t to forget,” spike yelled over the rain, walking towards you as you paused your movements. “i-i was so scared this morning,” his voice quieted for a moment and you had to lean in to hear him. “you were humming something in your sleep, some tune,” he paused, looking down at the floor.
“every thing reminded me of her, every whistle i heard along to the melody of a song, every hum along to a certain tune,” he was looking at you now. “b-but for once, th-this wasn’t her anymore. i didn’t think about her,” spike’s voice broke. 
“it was only you,” he finished. you responded in the only way you saw acceptable, your hands planting on spike’s cheek as you pulled him in for a kiss. “s’ only been you,” spike mumbled into your lips. “only you,” you mumbled back. the kiss grew more passionate before you both pulled away, breathless. “
“i’m sorry,” he said, pulling you into him, your face pressing against the wet fabric of his shirt. “just want you,” you hiccuped, tears falling down your face now. “i’m not leaving,” spike reassured you.
the rain cascaded over your bodies, the memories of a past love washing away along with it. as the sky cleared, the moon marked the creation of new memories. new love blossomed with the dew.
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meltwonu · 4 years
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| 🍒 CH-CH-CHERRY BOMB! 🍒 |     [CHAPTER 17]
pairing; dom!seungcheol x camgirl!reader
this chapter’s notes; camshow, intercrural sex, lots ‘o teasing, dirty talk/the absolute tiniest bit of degradation, some cum play/cum eating, seungcheol having a kink for thighs/thigh highs 😳😗 welcome to the weekend my bbys!! I hope yall are having a good day/night!! Also again, another inbox roundup tomorrow(also an updates post)!! 💕 Might be a regular thing for the next 4-ish weeks ‘cause I have been so busy this month 😭 and I can’t believe there’s only 3 more chapters of CB left!! 😭😭 some bangers on the way tho LMAO 🤣 As always, thank you so much for the love and support!!💕💕 Have a great rest of your weekend and enjoy ch 17![cheol voice] seventeen right here 😌💕🍒 
chapters; 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16 - 17 - x - x - x
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Seungcheol doubles over in laughter, tears blurring his vision as his laughs turn into quiet wheezes.
“God, this is so embarrassing.” Seokmin mutters; cheeks burning crimson when he glances over to Jeongguk who shrugs back. “Maybe I really should quit…”
Jeongguk scoffs jokingly, “Maybe you shouldn’t have lied. No offense, but all the staff here probably have at least seen her before and you just so happened to lie to her actual boyfriend. That’s honestly really lucky if you ask me! You should buy a lotto ticket!” Seokmin whines back, shifting on his heels as he watches Seungcheol start to wipe the tears away.
“Hyung, can you please take this Edible Arrangements I got you so I can go ask Namjoon-hyung to fire me?” This only causes Seungcheol to laugh harder and this time, Jeongguk can’t help the giggle that bubbles past his tightly pursed lips.
“Please!” Seokmin begs, shaking the basket of skewered fruit at the older male. “I heard the diner across down is still hiring, I can still save the rest of my dignity if I leave now!”
Seungcheol shakes his head, eyelashes wet with tears when he takes the gift from Seokmin’s hands to place it on the countertop of the concession stand. “Hate to break it to you but she works there and one of the staff is also one of her regulars so I think your best bet is workin’ here. Embarrassment and all.”
“So, okay… But you’re not mad?”
Jeongguk peels the cellophane off of the basketed fruit, looking to Seungcheol for permission before he takes a skewer. “Go ahead. And no, I’m not mad. If anything I should apologize too, I shouldn’t have let you keep lying when I already knew. But also, to be fair, we weren’t really… official ‘til recently.” Seungcheol shoots the younger male a sheepish smile; cheeks a pretty pink of their own. “And it’s kinda been nice meeting you guys too. It’s great to know you’re not all weirdos.”
Seokmin laughs lightly, breathing a sigh of relief. “Okay, cool, ‘cause this place pays really well and I’d hate to stop working here and you guys are a lot cooler than the coworkers I had before.” He rolls his eyes jokingly, leaning up against the countertop as he picks off a strawberry from the basket.
“Don’t even get me started on this coworker I had at the last place. His name was Mingyu, I think? Suuuuuch a kissass. I had to move to manning the register at all times just so I could avoid him pickin’ his nose in the backroom and then pretending like he was doin’ shit.”
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“Hey, Seungcheol-hyung?”
Seokmin’s inquisitive voice has Seungcheol turning; setting the rollerskates in his hand down onto the bench. “Yeah?”
“Do you think it’s weird that we’re, like, watching your girlfriend?” He tilts his head in thought, eyes blinking up to the ceiling. “I don’t want to overstep or something if it’s weird, y’know? I’ve been thinking about what Jeongguk said earlier...”
Seungcheol grins back at him, eyes twinking. He’d also thought about that before too, when he first found out that Jeongguk had also watched your streams.
“I don’t really mind ‘cause at the end of the day, it’s you watching me fucking my girlfriend.”
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“Well, I’m glad he took it… well?” You giggle, tugging the white thigh high up your leg.
Seungcheol pulls off his shirt as he sits on the edge of the bed; tossing the wrinkled material onto the floor as he laughs under his breath.
“He did give me an Edible Arrangements while I laughed so hard I cried. I think he’s learned his lesson.”
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xcaliburDK: good news, i didnt quit!!
chwenon: i was gonna say
chwenon: u literally started like last week
universe_WZ has donated $75
angelhan has donated $75
therealchan99 has donated $50
therealchan99: u look rly pretty in ur white set!!!
“Aww, thank you! It’s one of my favorites~ And ‘xcaliburDK’, I’m glad you didn’t quit!” You wink at the camera, giggling softly in Seungcheol’s lap as he peppers kisses along your shoulder.
A shiver runs up your spine at his gentle touches and you easily melt under his soft kisses and roaming fingertips. He ghosts them across your breasts, teasing you through the thin lace as you mewl and squirm against his cock that’s pressed firm against your ass. “A-ah, S--Seungcheol…”
tangerine_kwan: she looks so happy now that she can call ur name out lol
alphagyu97: now i cant pretend its me tho
gentleman_josh95: i mean i guess but are u even built like him
alphagyu97: well
Your body slowly starts to fill with warmth; soft stuttered breaths falling from your lips when he drags his fingers down your torso until they play with the hem of your panties. “M-more… tease me m-more…” He grins against your shoulder; hooking a finger around the waistband of your panties and tugging it away from you before letting it snap against your skin.
“‘Cheol!” Whining, your legs snap shut on impulse as you feel a gush of wetness soaking into your panties.
“Ah, ah, ah, part those legs, princess. Don’t make me have to punish you.”
kitty_junjun: no thats what the shibari stream is for right? Right? 😩
artist8hao: is that really happening bc i want to see it
alphagyu97: u guys should do it and think of it as like a rebrand of the channel ykwim
hoshi_tiger_xx: jdfkjhf like a grand re-opening under new management
therealchan99: what is this, a restaurant?
chwenon: u guys should come up with a new channel name too or sth
Seungcheol manages to read off a few of their comments; committing some to memory knowing that your eyes were still sealed shut as you focused on his soft touches.
He drags his fingers down further, humming when he can already feel how wet you were getting. “Hmm~ Already soaked through your pretty panties, baby~” Your head rolls back against his shoulder, nodding gently as you start to grind against the fingers that he uses to press into your clothed, wet folds.
“F-feels good w-when you, ah, t-tease me…”
Unbeknownst to you, Seungcheol smirks, eyes twinkling at the camera. “You really like it, huh? When I just touch you gently like this. Not enough to get you off but just enough to get you soaking wet until you’re begging for my cock.” He pauses; pressing a soft kiss to your skin. “I wanna try something with you, pretty baby~”
You gulp as you raise your head from his shoulder and he retracts his hands from your body as you shift your body and slightly turn to the side to face him.
Seungcheol’s eyes are blown wide with lust and you can already feel his cock throbbing against your lower back as he smiles dreamily at you.
“I think you’ll like it too.”
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A stuttered moan falls from your lips as Seungcheol’s cock slides past your tightly clasped, yet shaky, thighs.
“O-oh, ‘Cheol, this--this is…” The words die on your tongue as your head falls forward and Seungcheol is quick to reprimand you, just as he draws his hips back.
“Baby, I want you to watch yourself on the screen. I want you to see your cute face while I tease your pretty body.” He moans; thrusting between your wet thighs as your hazy eyes peer at the laptop’s screen. Your lips are swollen and your pupils are blown wide when you catch yourself and you can see the head of Seungcheol’s cock only just breaching past your clamped thighs when he thrusts forward.
You let out a guttural moan, eyes rolling to the back of your head when he alternates between thrusting between your thighs and letting his cock slide against your soaked, panty-clad mound. 
He hadn’t bothered to undress you at all, but you didn’t mind. The material of your panties only added onto the pleasure with every drag of his cock against you.  
Seungcheol teases you even more; dragging his hands down to your thigh highs and letting his fingertips play right underneath the hems before pulling the material away from your thighs and letting them snap against your skin, much like he’d done with your panties.
“Ah, fuck, m-more! P-please…” He repeats the action a few more times, playing with the sheer fabric of your thigh highs before he draws his hips back. Except this time, when you expect him to thrust back between your legs, he wraps a hand around his cock instead, guiding himself until the head of his cock is rubbing up against the sheer fabric.
“Fuck, you’d look so pretty with cum all over your pretty thighs. I should cum all over your panties and your white ‘lil thigh highs and get them all soaked. Don’t you think they’d be cute? Sticking to you like a second skin? Translucent ‘n soaked through with my cum?” He laughs under his breath, watching through the laptop screen at the way you bite your lip and furrow your brows at the thought.
“I--I want t-that… I want S--Seungcheol t-to make, ngh, a m-mess…”
angelhan: i kno we say this all the time but can u upload some pics of that later
angelhan has donated $75
universe_WZ: seconded cuz thatd look so fuckin hot
universe_WZ has donated $50
alphagyu97 has donated $75
alphagyu97: fuck, like a lil angel covered in cum
Seungcheol teases you and himself at the same time; rubbing his cock against your fabric-clad thighs. He spreads precum onto the material, licking his lips when it already becomes translucent and sticks to your skin.
He positions his cock back between your thighs once he’s had his fill and quickly finds himself doubling his pace when he sees how wet you’re getting his cock without even having taken your panties off. “God, look at you. I don’t even need to fuck you to get you this wet. You just need to rub your ‘lil cunt against my cock and it’s enough for you, huh? I should make you sit on my lap, rub your pretty ‘lil pussy on my cock ‘til you’re cumming over and over again.”
“Ngh, yes! Fuck, Seungcheol! I--I can feel your c-cock throbbing between my l-legs… Please, please c-cum, mmh, all over my s-skin…”
“That’s right, baby. So fuckin’ desperate to be covered in it too. And always so fuckin’ pretty when you are.”
You let out a whimper as you try to focus on watching yourself just like Seungcheol had asked you to. Your lips are parted in soft breaths and you can’t seem to unfurrow your brows as Seungcheol chases his pleasure behind you.
angelhan: what if
angelhan: seungcheol in thigh highs lmao
universe_WZ: sub.cheol
sleepy_wonu: sub.cheol
universe_WZ: jinx
sleepy_wonu: fuck u 
You lick your lips at the thought; although you knew Seungcheol would have a hard time relinquishing his dominating nature.
But your mind wanders as you continue to think about it; various images of Seungcheol tied up underneath you while you fucked yourself on his cock running through your mind. You let out a shaky moan, to which Seungcheol hums.
“What are you thinkin’ about, princess?”
“Um… ah, n-nothing…” He thrusts between your legs hard, making you jolt forward as you yelp.
“Princess...”
“I--ah! J-just thinking a-about… y-you tied up, ngh, to--to the bed and m-me fuh--fucking myself on your c-cock… ‘n me u-using, mmh, my toys o-on you...” Seungcheol smirks, pulling his cock from between your shaky thighs as he slightly pushes you over until you're on your back.
He spreads your legs as you look up at him and he’s quick to wrap a hand around his cock as he jerks himself off above you. “Oh, I bet you’d love that, wouldn’t you? I bet you’d be so cute trying to be the domme for a night.” Seungcheol teases.
You find yourself clenching around emptiness as you think of the possibilities. You definitely wanted to try it if Seungcheol was willing.
“Fuck, but first, gonna cover your pretty body with my cum.” He groans; thrusting up into his palm as he chases his high.
“C-cum all over me, Seungcheol…”
The donations and comments sound off in the back as you maintain eye contact with Seungcheol who’s brows furrow when he starts to feel himself about to cum. He scoots back a little; growling when his cock throbs in his grasp and he cums all over your, already, soaked panties.
You let out a moan when rivulets of cum hit your lower abdomen and you’re quick to reach down and scoop some up to bring to your mouth, smearing the warm substance against your puckered lips before licking it off. Whimpering, you dip your fingers into your mouth; this time pretending they were Seungcheol’s instead of your own.
He guides his cock until the head is aimed at your thighs; streaks of cum settling into the sheer material of your thigh highs. “God, you’re so damn pretty...” Groaning, he milks his cock for every drop of cum before he’s stopping to catch his breath.
“You came so much but I didn’t cum yet, ‘Cheol~” Pouting, you turn your head to the side to face the camera. “Tell him he has to make me cum now~”
kitty_junjun: well u heard the lady!!
hoshi_tiger_xx: make her cum and let her cream her cute lil panties even more
therealchan99: oh fuck yeah, get her off without fucking her cute cunt
Seungcheol leans over your body until the two of you are almost face to face, eyes twinkling with playfulness when you feel his sticky hand playing with your thigh highs again.
“D’you hear that? Let’s give them what they want, baby.”
The sounds of donations and comments once again get lost as Seungcheol finds himself on his knees between your legs.
“Ready?”
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When you slide into bed after your camshow’s ended and Seungcheol has properly taken care of you, he’s quick to tug you into his chest. 
The two of you let out soft sighs at the warmth that envelopes you both as you finally start to settle in for the night.
After a few minutes, Seungcheol clears his throat, catching you just before you drift off to sleep.
“This is so random but have you considered, I dunno, rebranding your channel… with me? I was thinking about it and kinda wanted your opinion...”
You blink up curiously at him, urging him to continue. “I mean, yeah, of course! I don’t really know where to start though since it’s always just been me. And to be honest, I wasn’t sure if you wanted to either so I never brought it up.” You snuggle into his warmth, yawning as the sleep threatens to take over.
“But let’s talk about it later, ‘cause ‘m tired now, ‘Cheol. You really didn’t have to make me cum twice…” You mumble, “I can still feel my legs shaking...”
His soft laugh reverberates in your chest and he’s quick to press a kiss against your hair as he tugs you in closer.
“It’s ‘cause I like to spoil you. And okay. I’ll remind you when you’re more conscious.”
“G’night, ‘Cheol...”
“Goodnight, baby.” 
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fakecrfan · 3 years
Note
Since you very nicely offered to write me a fic:
Your prompt is: A story about a background character or characters dealing with life after the TMA apocalypse.
It can be set in the OG TMA universe in the post-post-apocalypse, or it can also be set in a different universe that was affected by the events of MAG 200.
Both OCs and characters established in-show are allowed.
This one aligned so well with my interests that I am actually tempted to open my inbox, briefly, in case anyone else has questions like “what is X bavjground character doing after the apocalypse?” so I can make a series out of it and expand on my post-post-apocalypse headcanons.
For now, you can read your fic here, on over here on AO3
---
Sarah doesn't know where she is.
England, she has to still be in England, she thinks. But it's not an England she recognizes. Not the cobblestone streets of London, and not the moors she used to visit on her vacations. The ground is barren, as though all blades of grass but a few have shriveled up and died. There are no trees, houses, or landmarks for miles--just scorched remnants of where they might have been before.
For a moment, the emptiness of it all is a relief after the hotel. But everything is the same on all sides, and she doesn't know where she is or where to go. She's starting to get hungry, too. She never got hungry in the hotel, nightmarish as it was.
She has to sit down for a moment, take a few deep breaths, and think.
Get food. Find shelter. Survive.
Find Alex.
(God, why had she left her child in a hotel room? Little twelve year old Alex who was still afraid to sleep without a night light. He'd begged her to stay, she should have--)
With that in mind she gets up. Doesn't know what direction to walk in, so she doesn't concern herself with trying to pick one. There's nothing to do but walk, keep her eyes open, and hope.
So she hopes.
---
None of our old maps match the landscape, anymore.
The world these days it's... not like in the before times, as I suppose we're calling it. Despite our hopes, ending the apocalypse wasn’t like everyone waking up from a nightmare. The land is...
It's scrambled, I guess. There are patches of the world that--well. They're not the same, but still have infrastructure intact. Electricity, running water, air conditioning. No scorched earth or rubble in these areas. Just a bunch of traumatized people living in an intact town, or city.
When I talk to them, they tell me it's not the city they remember, though. Everything has been switched around, houses and stores not where they remember them. Their neighbors aren't the neighbors their remember.
Those are the lucky ones. And then there's, well... the outside.
Some places have rubble everywhere, jagged steel ripped apart and waiting for someone to cut themselves on it. Some are frozen over, still waiting for the ice they were frozen over with in the apocalypse to melt. Some are scorched to dust. No phones out there, or anything that lets you connect back with home base.
I'm going out there. We need to map it out. We need to figure out our new world, understand it--and we need to get as many people out of the wastes as possible.
Melanie, Georgie--I’ll see you soon.
---
Sarah does find water. That's something. She's hungry still, so hungry, but she knows that the water is more important.
She wonders if she should stay there. She doesn't know if there will be more watering holes in the future, after all, and she has no way to carry it with her. She decides to keep moving on, and hope for the best.
She starts to see blades of grass poking up, along with some sort of metal crap strewn about the landscape. She looks at them a moment--it seems to be bits of an old carousel? Eventually, a giant sit in their shade, for a while. There she takes a moment to look at the horizon, and goes cold.
She recognizes the tower on the horizon.
A  scaffolded tower with two legs beneath it. A sight she'd last seen on a postcard from her brother. The Eiffel Tower.
Is she in Paris? No, that can't be it. It's just the tower out here in the wastes. There are none of the buildings that would normally surround it. It's almost as though its been ripped out of the city and transported here.
Does Paris even exist anymore? Does London?
If she even finds Alex, will there be a home for them to go back to?
---
I have a theory, Melanie. I think lots of people got transported to different places in the world based on what fear they belonged to. Like, a bunch of lonely people were put in the same place, a bunch of claustrophobic people were put in the same place, and so on. All away from the people they knew.
I’m in one of the suburban safe areas now. No one here knows each other. I talked to them all, and all of them remember living in the same house before, but none of them recognized the houses near them or the people in them. When I went from house to house, everyone had a different native language. I talked to a German guy and a French guy who spoke English, but a lot of them… couldn’t talk to me at all.
There was a woman who--she saw me and she lit up. She grabbed me and started talking a mile a minute in Arabic, I think. But I couldn’t understand her, and she--when I tried to talk back to her in English, her face just. Fell. And then she started to cry.
My dad refused to speak it at home, you know. He-- Actually, never mind. It’s not important. 
She ended up shoving me away.
---
Sarah makes it to the ruins of a forest. 
There’s nothing but stumps left of it, along with litter everywhere. She finds water again, filthy brackish water, and she drinks it anyway because she’s so thirsty. She starts sifting through all of the garbage strewn about for something edible. She finds stale bread crusts crawling with ant and eats them anyway. 
She finds a can of beans, and almost cries. When she can’t find a can opener, she screams instead.
---
The death count has gotten to me, honestly.
I’ve found dead bodies even in the towns and cities. Some looked like heart attacks. Some suicides. People who woke up but couldn’t bear the agony they’d just gone through. That’s still not… the worst of it.
I passed a whole field of dead bodies today.
Hundreds of people, I think, all of them lying dead in the soil. But there were... trails. They had been walking, before they collapsed. All walking in the same direction, to where you can still see London on the horizon.
They were alive. They were trying to get help. And they just... starved, it looks like. The walk was just too long.
How many people are going to die from it all, Melanie? How many already have, out where we can't see them?
I left as many jugs of clean water and rations along the roads as I could. I put up signs pointing to London, saying how many miles out they were, where I had stashed food. I gave them your number, so they know who to call to get to the shelter.
I hope it means the next group that passes by won't die.
I hope there is a next group.
---
Sarah can see what looks like a city in the distance before she collapses. 
She tries to get up, but can’t. She’s been walking for days now, it feels like, only sporadically drinking and almost never eating.  There just isn’t enough energy left in her to stand.
She tries to think about little Alex again, running around in his Batman cape, hoping some kind of love or maternal instinct will kick in and give her the last burst of adrenaline she needs to get up. It doesn’t work. Maybe she doesn’t love her own son anymore, really. Maybe it’s just been fear and guilt driving her this far, and that source has already been wrung dry. 
She manages to crawl a few feet, before she can’t even do that. With nothing else left to do, she starts to cry out. “Help! Water, please!” 
She doesn’t think anyone will hear, or show up. But against all odds, in her dimming vision she sees a figure come into view. Backpacked, clutching a water bottle. 
“Help,” she croaks out again. 
The figure gets closer, and she starts to be able to make out the details of his face. He’s her age, or older, with worry lines carved into his forehead and wide eyes. His nose looks eerily like her brother’s nose, and the shape of his jaw reminds her of her old boyfriend, the one who left her with--
She blinks. Maybe she’s hallucinating, or maybe she’s somehow run into a long lost cousin. But then, the man’s eye’s widen and his mouth opens.
“Mum?”
No, no it can’t…
“A-alex?”
No, Alex was a little round cheeked boy. This is a thirty year old man, at least, taller than her. It hasn’t been that long. It can’t be, it’s not--
“Mum?” He’s doing a frown that looks so, so familiar. This has to be a dream. “Mum, it’s--no.”
He sniffles. He steps forward, and steps back. He paces, uncertain.
“No, no,” she hears him mutter. “It’s all fake, all fake. It’s a trap. That’s what they want, the monsters and the face stealers. No one is real. Don’t give them what they want--’’
“Please.” she begs. 
But she hears him walk away, sniffling, and shortly thereafter everything goes dark. 
---
I have a confession to make, Melanie. I was going to side with Jon, back then. I could have lived with keeping everyone here suffering to prevent more of it. But when he said he was going to kill the whole world, not just leave it--that’s what made me snap. 
I couldn’t let the whole world die. Genocide of the entire human species? Anything but that. Surely passing along the suffering would be better, as long as it didn’t lead to the extinction of whole worlds. But… 
I keep finding more dead bodies.
I went back to that suburb I talked about, to restock on all my food. It was a lonely domain before, I think. I’d thought everyone there would be fine, you know. They didn’t have any deadly sicknesses, or twisted flesh injuries. They had food and water and shelter. But when I went back… more of them had died. 
Lots of suicides. Some of them snapped, and started to self injure.
The German guy I talked to had started to starve. He had a pantry full of food and he just wouldn’t eat it. I tried to get him to eat, to move in with someone else, but he said talking to people “made him sick.” 
I gave up, and left. I had to. There were too many people, and too much to do, so I left him. He’s probably dead now, or going to die soon. Because he can’t find the will to live, and I don’t know how to help someone with that.
The Lonely is probably one of the least directly harmful entities, right? This domain was just a suburb, probably the most comfortable you could get during the apocalypse. And yet the victims are still all dying. 
How much worse is it in places without food and water? In the corruption domains that still probably have deadly diseases spreading? In war zones, in flesh factories?
I think about that nursing home we found. All of the patients who'd died of heart attacks a few minutes after they'd woken up. The ones left alive screaming for help where no one could hear them, for days after the fact. All of the ones that died in their beds before we found them. 
I think about that field of bodies I found the other day. I think about the ruins of that Circus I found, people refusing to talk to me or each other--refusing to help because they didn’t believe it was over and thought everyone else was a mannequin. 
I think… I think it doesn’t matter that we saved the world. If people can’t find the will to live, ro rebuild, to trust and help each other again… I think we’re going through a mass extinction event anyway. 
---
Sarah’s in a car, she thinks. Not a moving one. She’s propped up against a seat,There’s something plastic pressed to her lips.
“Come on,” says a woman’s deep, level voice. “Come on. I got you. We’re getting to London. All you have to do is drink.”
Sarah opens her eyes. She sees a dark-skinned woman trying to coax her to drink, holding up a water bottle. 
“Just a sip,” the woman says. “Just enough to make it.”
Sarah closes her eyes, and takes a long moment to consider whether she wants to.
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kabochaa · 3 years
Text
Hi, my name is Oak! Early twenties, nonbinary (they/them please), neurodivergent (asd, adhd, ednos), United States. My comfort characters include Twilight Sparkle, Sasuke, Elsa and Shaggy Rogers and my favorite stims include ice cream, hot drinks, colorful frosting/cakes, kinetic sand, and cottagecore/nature.
DNI: Kink blogs, Thinspo blogs, TERFs etc., racist/antisemitic/anti-LGBT/imperialist/right-wing/etc.
Bait, discourse, bigotry etc will be deleted from inbox without a reply.
Series: Ponies Music Requests Pokémon Star Trek Seasonal My Faves Animals Names Books Warrior Cats MLP OCs Boardtober 2021 Plushies Sasuke Uncategorized
If you want more like a specific gifset or board, feel free to click around on its tags! Categorizing things into series makes my autism happy, but I don’t give everything a series. Tumblr doesn’t like to display older posts in my series tags on mobile which bothers me a lot, but what can you do 😭
ALL OF MY GIFS ALL OF MY BOARDS ASKS
CHECK HERE TO SEE IF I’VE COMPLETED YOUR REQUEST!
What is a kabocha? A kabocha is a variety of edible squash that’s one of my favorite foods. It gets put in a lot of Asian dishes, such as Thai pumpkin curry.
Requests closed.
When requests are open, here are the guidelines. Here’s what I love to do:
—My little pony, including OCs! I would LOVE to do your OC.
—Literature/classic films/some modern films
—Pokémon
—Music pre-2000 (or 00s-10s alt/indie), or bands I’ve posted before!
—Name boards
—Cottagecore, dark/light academia, wizardcore, fae, magic, etc.
—your pets (please have a nice photo though 😊 I need to be able to see them!)
—Star Trek/BSG
—Thomas The Tank Engine
—Holidays/seasons/nature themes, etc
—specific things you love, i.e. gingerbread or jellyfish or trains or tulips or ducks or warm towels or the color mauve or ice cubes or maple syrup etc etc etc.
—memes
If you want something that’s not on the list PLEASE feel free to ask!! I reserve the right to say no, of course, which isn’t a judgement on you, it’s mostly a judgement on what I think I’ll be able to pull off while adhering to my personal aesthetic standards and/or what I feel good about putting on my blog. On the off chance I don’t say yes, there are many more stim blogs out there that probably will!
Characters from fandoms I’m not in will likely be aesthetic based. Anime characters are a-ok!
I’d also be more than happy to make some gifs if you’re building a board around, say, toy trains or cinnamon and you need more gifs!
Hard No:
—MCYT
—Paw Patrol/other copaganda shows
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—Star Wars
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—adult animation shows (I don’t like the way the characters look, personally!) Star Trek Lower Decks is an exception.
—slugs
—kink/nsfw/gore
—Arcadecore: it’s just a personal preference! Personally I find these gifs the opposite of calming because actually being in these spaces was sensory bell for me as a kid. I did one (my first and last, lol!) here. But there are plenty of stimmers who’d be happy to help you out!!! :)
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the-canary · 6 years
Text
Monday Afternoon - B.B
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Summary: There was only one decent thing about the nursing department, not that he noticed you anyways. (College!Reader/Bucky Barnes)  
Prompt: What’s her name again? 
A/N: This is for @fangirlfiction ‘s 1k writing challenge. i went to a women’s college with one exception, the music/nursing program -- this oneshot steams from some of those experiences, just without a bucky ;A: however, i hope you enjoy.
Feedback is always welcomed.
First year.
It’s that time of year for any college freshman — the first week of your classes ever . You print out all the syllabus and pack them neatly into the folder you have set aside for all your classes. You are expecting a lot of wonderful things from the extra freedom this stage has promised to set up for you.
What you didn’t expect was for your second class to be canceled in the middle of the afternoon with the professor wanting a one-pager of what does democracy mean to you?
Written outside and placed in her inbox, any emailed essays were going to ignored. Your Pol Sci 100 class was small, so you didn’t expect many would be in the library at this time — it gave you ample time to write it out and find Dr. Hill’s office on the fifth floor.
You weren’t expecting the pre-nursing and bio students to be pilling onto top of the only two printers the library had — teenagers, excited and confused, like you printing out 100 pages of powerpoint presentations before their classes started. You end up on one of the computers near the large stained glass windows, watching for a moment before going to work on this one sheet of paper.
Between looking through your social media and cat videos, it takes you two hours to finish said paper.
You’re ready to print it out when you and the rest of the library hear it — the horrible whirling from the printer as it seems to come to life, spilling papers in front of the poor boy standing next to it before dying completely.
“Sorry,” he lets a nervous chuckle as one of the older students workers and one of the librarians come up to him and ask what he did. There are a handful of people waiting for their papers to print, but after half an hour, the librarian places the sign -- out of order in front of both computers.
You sigh, unsure of what to do now to get out your paper that is due by the end of the class period, though you feel a little bad for the boy with blue eyes shuffling his feet near the corner as you get your things and search for where you can find another printer. However, not before going to the one person that caused this disaster that had been accumulated by everyone else before hand.
“Hey, don’t worry about it,” is all you can say, as you stand a bit closer while seeing some people glaring daggers at him, “Probably happens all the time.”
“Thanks,” he states bashfully with a shrug, as you nod and move forward.
Eventually, you do find a printer in one of the common areas and through some careful maneuvering you are able to turn in the page before 6pm. You also do find out that the printer busting at least once is a common occurrence during the fall semester -- and that everyone hates the nursing students for that one reason.
The second time you meet Old Blue Eyes is during your Pol Sci 101 class. Wanda --the one friend you made during freshman orientation-- sits in back of you as Dr. Carter talks about the different structures of democracy and the broader political systems of the world.
“Mr. Barnes,” she declares in cold fury towards the back of the class as most of you turn to stare, “Would you mind stating some of differences between the structure of Congress and Parliament?”  
Blue eyes look up from what he was doing -- chatting with a pretty girl as the rest of the nursing students who hung in the back look at him. You had a little understanding of why they did so, but though you understood that nursing was the biggest major by far within the school, you didn’t understand why they all kept to themselves and barely interacted in any of the general education classes that you with some younger and older nursing majors.
James --from what you had learned from looking at all your class rosters-- gets up and smiles before going through the list like the back of his hand. Dr. Carter gives him a sardonic smile before going on with her lecture. The cocksure boy grins before sitting back down, glancing at the whole classroom. His eyes meet yours for just a moment as a crooked smile blooms on his face before he goes back to talking to the pretty brunette next to him.
You think nothing of it, as you go back to taking your notes.
Second Year.
Your second year of classes is more easier to handle than your first, though you aren’t without your late night binges to complete a paper in the middle of the semester here and there. At the current moment, you are watching Wanda and Natasha --a friend you made in that strange religion class you both needed for course credit-- dive into their books for the individual finals. You were sitting at the end of the table without nothing in front of you as you took out a smaller case than usual.
“Are you really going to play 3DS right now?” Natasha questions with mix of shock and anger, as you give her a bright smile before turning on the little game device. Wanda simply shakes her head.
In reality, you had completed the most frustrating finals -- your general ed courses, but Pol Sci as confusing as it could be sometimes, it came to you with ease. You could remember years and theories, top it with some fake, deep meaning to it all and you did well in filling up those little green books when it came time to for finals. It wasn’t like it was math or bio, which you scrapped by most of the time.
“I’m trying to defeat the last member of the Elite Four,” you whine, as Nat rolls her green eyes and throws her eraser in your general direction. You move out of the way and the three of you see it hit a familiar boy. You turn around completely in your chair, as James picks up the eraser from the floor and hands it to you.
“I hope it isn’t Karen and her Houndoom,” he chuckles as you frown at the mention of the character, as Nat and Wanda watch, obviously ignoring their finals for something juicer.
“I ran the floor with her last night,” you laugh, thinking about the aneurism the Pokemon leader had nearly given you, due to playing until the middle of the night just to beat her.
And even though James looked like he hadn’t slept in two or three nights, his comment was enough to make you laugh just a little. In return, his face seemed to lose some of its fatigue as those laugh lines come out with his chuckle.
“Well, good luck with beating Lance then,” James says with a smile before some girls in the back call his name.
“Good luck with your exams,” you answer back with a nod before going back to the game at hand, completely ignoring the flabbergasted looks that Wanda and Nat give you.  
Second semester is a bit harder than the first with more Pol Sci classes than before and both Dr. Carter and Dr. Hill realizing the good head that you have on your shoulders, even though you stay silent and in the back during most of their classes. Though, it also means solely evening and afternoon classes, as you wake around noon now more than ever.
However, you end up waking up right before class starts as you end running across the courtyard to the humanities building, only to notice the nursing students standing in front of the entrance with tables and edible goods in front of you. You stop and notice the badly painted sign: NURSING ASSOCIATION FUNDRAISER.
You skipping out on going to the cafeteria makes you pause and glance at all the food until you see the small packaged meals of mini-pancakes with a side of fluffy eggs. You keep staring it as your stomach rumbles.
“‘S my ma’s recipe,” a voice in front of you declare, as you look up to see James with a toothy smile and a brunette (maybe the same one from that one semester?) hanging off his shoulder. And while the sight causes you to pause for a moment, you can’t help but ask.
“And what makes them so special?” you question, as he gives you a cheeky grin, “That I should buy two...maybe even three boxes?”
“Fluffiest pancakes you’ll ever taste,” he teases back, which causes you to laugh. Blue eyes never leave your face, as you agree to buy some.
“If they aren’t the up to standard, I’m coming back to complain,” you state already walking away and heading into the hallway of the fifth floor.
“If it happens, I look forward to seeing you again,” James grins as he watches you disappear.
And while he’s disappointed he doesn’t see you for the rest of the semester, he surely does hope you enjoyed the meal.
Third Year.
You don’t see much of the main campus that semester since you are working in an internship straight in the heart of downtown and take most of your courses online as a result. You end up taking a mini course in the middle of the semester and spend the rest of your time in D.C as a result.
James doesn’t see much of the campus after his accident during the summer either.
You are sure that the Pol Sci department in some way has gotten more funding, either that or Dr. Hill had too much free time on her hands when she decides that there will be mock debates in lieu of it being on election year -- so that the young people will be excited to go out and vote , she declares. You aren’t sure why but she has you sign up for it, though you are more than fine with helping the mock presidential candidate in learning her lines.
It doesn’t help when she ends up getting sick two days before and the only one that knows everything is you.
“Please don’t make me do this,” you groan as Wanda just shakes her head, though you might be complaining she had seen you more than once in mock debate -- this were all just jitters.
“I think most of your department and I know you can do it,” Wanda reassures you with a smile and though you don’t believe her -- you tell Dr. Hill that you’ll do it anyways.
On the day of, you don’t expect the old auditorium to be so jammed packed with students, but apparently this had been promoted for weeks and some classes were even giving extra credit for it. You took a deep breath and ran through your candidate’s lists of arguments while rebuffing the other young women’s. For most of the time, you blank out and you don’t notice that most of the young women and Dr. Hill are grinning from ear to ear, the audience is enthralled with everything -- though one man in particular can’t seem to keep his eyes of you.
“ What’s her name again ?” the now buffer man with long brown-hair sitting near the back of the auditorium can’t help but question as your voice lulls some sense of peace into him, though you are fiercely defending your stance on a political issue that Bucky wasn’t really paying attention to.
You don’t know exactly how you ended up staying in the dorms, but between Wanda freaking out over her oral exam and you needing to stay a bit later than usual for a UN module -- it lead to you sleeping some hours on the floor of Wanda’s dorm room. However, it wasn’t the same as your bed which leads to you wondering around the campus for a moment, hoping that the communal cafeteria is still open in the middle of the night.
As secluded as the campus was, you still screamed a little at the sight of a man at the bottom of the stairs that lead to the new constructed fountain. It seems that he hear you come up, as he turns around and you are quick notice familiar blue eyes, though he is much bigger and now has slightly longer hair compared to the last time you had seen him.
“James?” you question softly, as you notice that he is sitting there by his lonesome as he answers back with the sound of your own name. He ends up getting up and for some unknown reason you have the urge to follow, “I haven’t seen you in awhile.”
“I saw your mock debate a few weeks ago,” he declares, turning around to look at you as he comes to sit on one of the edges of the fountain, “You were really good.”
“Oh,” you state a bit surprised, “Thank you, and how have you been?”
“Insomnia and phantom pain here and there,” he states with a sardonic smile, while moving his left shoulder back and forth.  You end up taking a seat next to him. However, instead of asking why and giving him a look full of pity, you simply nod and ask him:
“So what’s on your mind?”
Your question makes him pause of a moment, as you cock your head to the side in question. James had always known there was something that had always caught his attention when it came to you, but in that moment -- you simply staying quiet and being willing to listen grabs at his heartstrings as he talks about anything that comes to mind -- his family, his studies, Stevie, and even his accident if only vaguely.
And you just listen without a word being said, something he hadn’t had in a very long time is such a huge relief as he lets it all out. The only time you finally do ask something is when he is talking about his current courses. He had come back to have some sense of normally in his life, but he just couldn’t keep it up anymore.          
“So why did you end up choosing coming here anyways?” you can’t help but ask as James’ eyes glimmer in the lights surrounding the fountain. He pauses for a moment, playing with the water as he notices that the sun is starting to come up.
“Gotta be here for my ma, Becca, and Stevie,” he admits shyly, as he looks up at the sky as if embarrassed, “But now...I’m not so sure.”  
“I’m sure, you’ll find something you love, James,” you declare like it’s the easiest thing in the world, but as he stares at you with the first rays of morning light hitting your face -- he really wants to believe you.
Fourth Year.
“We’re sure he likes you,” Nat declares over lunch as she points her fork at you. You raise an eyebrow in confusion as Wanda shakes her head -- you weren’t sure how Nat complaining about her Statistics and Methodology class turned into her declaring Bucky liked you.
Since that night a few months back, James had turned into Bucky as he sought you out more outside of class. After deciding he was going to take an extra year to complete his degree with taking summer classes, he sought you to tell you the news and then whenever he saw  you in the library. Sometimes, you even had lunch together. You had even gone on the little shuttle for a weekend together here and there. You had even meet Steve -- an art student who was finishing his own schooling upstate. But, you were sure you were only doing it as friends, Bucky didn’t see you that way.
“You don’t see the way he looks at you,” Wanda smile, “But, we do.”
“I think you’re making too much of this,” you bite back, “He’s always been with that Dot girl, I saw them together the other day.”
“Because they’re in the same class,” Nat decides to fight off your bluff, “They haven’t been together since the end of second year.”
“Guys, seriously,” you let out a nervous laugh,”You’re putting too much thought into this.”
You get up from the table with a shake of your head before heading towards your only class for the day. They wait two seconds before they hear the sound of your name being called out loud by a familiar voice. Your two friends look at each other before shaking their heads at how foolish you were being.
The last final of your college career is on the fifth floor like always and aside from seeing Wanda in the morning, you are alone re-reading the book that is at the center of your final exam. The library is silent with the lack of students who have already finished their finals and have headed home, but you enjoy it as you sit near one of the large windows where you started this crazy chapter of your life to begin with.
The afternoon test passes you too quickly, as you end up standing in the hallway as one of the first people to finish the exam. The fifth floor was quieter than usual with no music playing and no students coming in and out of the small rooms. You walk around, enjoying the silence for the moment. Your head in the clouds and memories until you see someone waiting at the end of the hallway
“Bucky,” you declare with a soft smile, as he can’t help but return it. You ignore that he might have been watching you, “What are you doing here exactly? Aren’t your exams done with?”
You knew that Bucky had finished his exams since Thursday and he had moved out already to go back with his mom and Becca for the summer. So, you weren’t sure why he was here, even if Nat and Wanda wouldn’t stop declaring his supposed intentions since the beginning of the year.
“Waiting for you actually,” Bucky smiles as the two of you start to walk out and look at the emptying campus, though it was a bit more somber for you -- Bucky still had another semester here, you didn’t.
“I--” Bucky coughs out, as you turn to stare at him. The familiar nervousness from a boy you had tried to calm down four years ago more evident now than in any time you had known James, “If you wanted to celebrate the end of the semester with me...just you and me.”
“As in a date?” you question, somewhere between hope and despair over what your friends had been telling you, what Bucky was trying to actually mean, and your own personal feelings about the whole thing.
“Yeah, a d-date,” he stutters for just a second before giving you a bashful grin.
You end up grabbing his right arm and give him the brightest smile you can muster: “A date sounds perfect, Mr. Barnes.”
He laughs at your bad imitation of Dr. Carter before taking you down to where his car is parked. And as your college years come to an end one fine Monday afternoon, you can’t to see what life has in-store for you with Bucky at your side.        
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soul-music-is-life · 6 years
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I'm kind of with you on the lackluster Pilot episode of "The Perfectionists". I don't know whether or not I'm into it either. And not because of Emison (I'm more of an Emaya fan myself). I just thought it was cheesy and boring. I don't know if I should keep watching. What about you?
I have actually gotten several asks about whether I plan tokeep watching and why/why not. So I’m going to answer it here and just referback to it if it keeps coming up.
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I don’t mind the asks at all. I love conversing, but because of the volume of asks about thisparticular opinion this is another long driveling post, and I’m sorry. You can mute my ass if you’re sick of me. I get it.
First of all OP, thank you for not ripping into me about notliking it. Also, Emaya had my heart. I loved them, too. Maya deserved better.
Second, this is a full-scale look at the show from a critic’svantage point. I watched the first episode twice because I thought maybe I hadn’tgiven it a fair shake the first time because I was in a weird mood. But even onthe second viewing I found a lot more that I disliked than I liked. Lots ofpeople are going to disagree, and that’s fine. Just don’t @ me. I’m legit notlooking for that. I’m just a girl (cue NottingHill music) standing in front her ask inbox asking those askers to love her.
Will I keep watching? I doubt it. Given that it only got a10-episode order and The Pilot wasn’t that interesting to me, I don’t see myselfsitting through it for 9 more episodes. My reasoning is two-tiered. Part of itis disinterest and the other part is the creative aspect of it in the media. Saddleup for my “truths” (I can’t remember who said that. Marlene maybe). I gave it afew days and considered it, and what I ended up with was this:
1) I’m just not into it. For the same reasons you (OP) stated.But I’ll also add that for me…it was predictable. I called the twists longbefore they happened. If I’m already doing that in The Pilot I can guarantee I’dbe doing that as the show went on. I’m like 93% sure I know exactly how it’sgoing to end this season. I tend to do that to myself. Being a writer suckssometimes. Because you see the way things are going to go from the beginning. You just have to decide if you want to go on the journey anyway.
2) While the characters were likable (I was surprised by howmuch I liked Ava), they are a bit one-sided and kind of bland (except I foundNolan’s duality extremely intriguing). There is the argument that can be madehere that they will grow, and I do agree with that. But when I watch a show’sPilot I need to care about at least one character to see what’s going to happenand where they are going to go (In PLL it was Em/Aria for me). None of the characters in TP did that for me (noteven Mona and Alison, which surprised me, because I’ve been super-hype for thisshow not only for them, but for the newbies, too).  
3) The plot (so far) just feels like a rehash of everysingle YA mystery novel/TV show that is hot right now. And I am aware that thisis based loosely on exactly that (Sara’s series), but I think maybe I’ve justbecome desensitized to the same cheesy soap-opera-y murder mystery plots. Or perhaps I’m just desensitized to this particular kind of storytelling. It doesn’tfeel new and different to me and it was very strangely paced with too muchgoing on and not enough time to care about it. It just felt disjointed. Everythingabout the first episode just fell flat for me.
4) And lastly, yes, I’d say there is a tiny part of me…likemaybe…6% that doesn’t want to watch because I’m not about that off-screenEmison drama. I knew it was going to happen and I’m not mad about them beingsplit. I’m disappointed (hears “that’sjust ‘mom speak’ for mad!” echoing somewhere) that the marketing team isusing it for ratings. When you have decent writing you don’t need to play games like that to try andget viewers. It would be one thing to be decisive about what happened toEmily/Alison (Split them. Don’t split them. I don’t care. Just make a fuckingdecision because you’re creating a war between fans and you know it). It’sanother thing entirely to draw it out because you need people to watch and talkabout it.
I am also particularly bothered by hearing the excuse (several times by MK) that “Shay was busy”because Marlene literally planned the spin-off in season 6 (confirmed by bothher and Sasha). It. Was. Planned. I say this as a critic and not an Emison fan: Everything about the way they’ve tried to use Emison to generate buzz was underhanded. And saying shit like that opens the door for people to hate on Shay, and that’s really not cool.
Personally, I think it speaks volumes that the producers felt the need to addthe off-screen drama on top of the really decent plot they already had. Theycould have kept it unproblematic with simple writing choices and less inflammatorycommentary. They could have left the PLL drama in the PLL-verse and given thespotlight to the new drama. I don’tagree with creating old off-screen drama with zero chance of satisfactoryresolution all in the name of ratings. I hate marketing shit like that. It’s acheap amateur tactic and it turns me off.
I think the show could have been something special had theynot marketed it as PLL. But they did, so of course there was a certainexpectation. And of course there is some backlash. Because there are these twoworlds that have nothing to do with each other and so far I don’t feel likethey’ve blended it together well. For me, it was like watching PLL, but with less magic and less chemistry. If I had to describe it I’d say it feels alot like a recipe where you’re just throwing a bunch of ingredients into a bowlwith no idea what you’re making and you’re just hoping it’ll be edible by theend. Rather than focusing on the new universe the marketing team chose to focuson Ali/Mona’s new world and the drama that comes with them. And to me that almost says they don’t have faith that TPwould have been able to stand on its own without the PLL universe. Part of methinks I’d be more interested if this had been a completely fresh start. I wasactually more compelled by the newbies than I was Alison/Mona (though I adorethem, too).
That being said, I really wish the best for the cast/crew. I’llcontinue to watch the behind the scenes games/cast antics. I’ve been a fan ofSasha since I discovered PLL (everything about her seems very sweet and genuine andjust positive all around). And Janel as Mona was one of my favorite castingchoices of all time. In fact, I think my very first PLL post here was praisefor Janel. I’ve been following Sydney since she was a smol lil bean on theDisney Channel (and loved her in Tia’s Mowry’s show “Instant Mom”). Sofia seemslike a sweet girl, and I have enjoyed her other work. And Eli honestly justseems like he’d be a cool dude to kick back and have a drink with (is he evenold enough to drink? Jesus, they’re all babies). I love them all. In fact, I’veenjoyed the fun behind the scenes stuff more than I enjoyed the show. I’dwatch a reality show of them all day. That’s where I’ll get my fill. Watching them being goofy.
Final verdict: No, the show will not be getting my views. I’llprobably just watch the absurdity of Riverdale instead. Cheryl is fucking wild,y’all. And I’m kind of living for mean-dark-snarky Betty. And Sweet Pea is like…myfavorite character ever. My dumb asshole child.
As far as whether or not youshould watch it, I have no idea. I have a lot of people asking me my opinion onthat (which, I’m like the worstperson to ask, please don’t give me that responsibility. I don’t even likebeing responsible in the real world. I literally had a cookie and Cocoa Puffsfor dinner). I will say that if you’re only watching for Emison then I’d changethe channel. Because guaranteed it’s just going to make you rage. You’re not going to get anything out of it. Fill yourevenings with something more pleasant and positive for you.
And be nice to others on social media. At the end of the day, it’s only a show. You like it or you don’t.
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One Day
Fluffy one-shot set between the 6th and 7th episodes of the 2nd secret ending because I wanted more MC involvement the entire time. Also includes my attempt at a brief animated text log
Rating: G
Words: 1,938
Pairing:  Saeyoung x MC
“…I can’t let you see him when he’s still so unstable…”
Over the last two weeks, that phrase had practically become Saeyoung’s mantra. He apologized all the time for how long it had been since they had seen each other, called her several times a day whenever he got a spare moment. On a good day, he only sounded mildly anxious. On bad days she would speak soft reassurances while he listened desperately, breath hitching with barely-contained sobs. Today, he just sounded tired, very tired. Over the last week she had been listening to him become more and more worn down. He had poor sleeping habits to begin with, but he had never sounded this physically and emotionally finished. It was time to put her foot down.
“Saeyoung, let me help.”
“I can’t. He’s still unsta- “
“Yes, and that’s why you need help.” She cuts him off firmly, but does her best to keep her voice warm. He is frightened and in way over his head, trying to isolate himself again. It’s not on purpose this time, but she recognizes the pattern. “Text me a list of what you need, I’ll pick it up and leave it out front.”
MC clicks the disconnect button before Saeyoung can argue, following it up with a quick text to keep him from backing out. As much as she would like to see him, pushing for it too soon might be too much for both Saeyoung and Saeran.
Let me know what you need, I’ve got the rest of the day off! Love you ♥
The messenger lacks any sort of notification that the other user is typing, much to MC’s dismay. She stares at the screen for a good two minutes hoping for a confirmation before giving up and tapping the home button to check her email. The only things there were promotional emails from companies that needed to be cleared out (how did she even manage to subscribe herself to so many mailing lists?) but it satisfied a little bit of the mental itch left behind after the party. After ten days of checking her email come hell or high water, once even a bomb, she had yet to rid herself of the habit even if it was just her personal email and not the party coordinator’s official inbox.
Just when she thinks Saeyoung isn’t going to respond to her text, a reply pops up on her screen. She reads through the list carefully, getting the distinct impression that he has little idea what he is actually going to do with all of these items once he has them. He has the diet one would expect of a single, secluded, 21-year-old man: absolute garbage.
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Satisfied she would at least be able to help out a little bit, she picks up her purse and heads out to the store. ‘Fruits’ and ‘vegetables’ were a pretty vague request, but she tried to pick up a variety of commonly liked and easy-to-cook-with produce for him and Saeran to eat. What would Saeran like to eat? Is he picky? Unlikely, but it seems they both favor sweet things. Everything else is relatively easy to pick out, going with name brand products for everything except for the sprinkles (how different could Beddy Crocker rainbow colored sugar lumps be from the store brand’s?), and doing a little shopping of her own in the process.
Stopping off at her home first, MC artfully stacks the multitude of ice cream pints in her freezer so they wouldn’t melt, grabs her apron, and gets to work. It’s nothing fancy, simple, easy meals that re-heat well. She packs all the food back up, removing the ice cream from the freezer and stacking tupperware containers in her arms. It makes for a turbulent trip to the car, but the trip out of the bunker in mid-afternoon traffic seems almost relaxing by comparison.
⌨⌨⌨
Approaching the door, MC neatly lays out the bags and homemade meals, rings the doorbell and pivots on her heel to leave. Her chest aches at the idea that he doesn’t want to see her, especially when she is at his doorstep, but she gets it. Saeran is having a rough time and the two brothers need to sort through a lot of deeply-rooted family issues. She probably only knows half the story and it still seems like a high hurdle to overcome. The doctors advised there would be damage caused by Saeran’s long-term exposure to the Mint Eye drugs. The first time Saeyoung cried to her over the phone was when the doctors told him Saeran might suffer from the drug’s after effects forever. That didn’t even factor in the twins’ abusive childhood, or the trauma left behind from Mint Eye’s other brain-washing methods.
Compared to that, missing her fiancé for a few weeks, or even months, and struggling to pay the rent for an apartment not previously owned by a cultist who armed the building with a bomb wasn’t worth complaining about.
Just as she makes it to the lowest step, someone rushes to the door, bounding up the last few stairs with heavy footfalls and smacking against the wall before fiddling with the locks. It’s Saeyoung, looking tired and worn underneath all his usual bright colors. MC gives him a concerned look, glancing down to the bags and then back to him. His eyes brighten, just a little, and her heart flutters. He missed her. The smile on her face bubbles up of its own accord and he does his best to return it through the lead weight of exhaustion.
There are only a few feet between Saeyoung and the comfort and warmth of his fiancé, but neither of them move. To do so might push the other into a situation they were uncomfortable with, a line they could not uncross. Over the phone it was easier, at least for Saeyoung. He could share things about his day and dote over her without the immediate risk of intimacy. He had lost his mind and babbled in the messenger about his feelings months ago when they were just getting to know each other. Once he got started pulling her in, he might not be able to stop. He might scare her. Saeran might scare her. His twin brother had nearly gotten all of them blown up, had manipulated her, and had been nothing but hostile since she found out. She said she was fine, but she couldn’t be. There was no way, not even someone as kind-hearted as her could forgive everything on the spot.
And this time, all he wants is to keep her close.
“I-It’s good to see you,” she breaks the silence, pulling Saeyoung from his thoughts. “I didn’t think you’d come to the door.”
Saeyoung glances down to the bags on the front step. She was right, he hadn’t planned on coming to the door, but the bell rang and he couldn’t help himself even if all he can manage right now isn’t near the kind of love and attention she deserves.
“It’s good to see you too.” She looks good, put-together and bright even with her eyes filled with concern. Concern for him. Concern he wasn’t worthy of. Saeyoung gathers up the bags in his arms, having a slightly easier time than she did, though not by much.
I miss you…
I miss you too…
“Well,” she pauses, as if another moment might get him to change his mind and let her in (emotionally or physically, beggars can’t be choosers after all), but nothing comes of it. “I’ll get going. Let me know if you need anything else. I don’t mind dropping by.”
“Sure,” he says, but he doesn’t mean it and they both know that.
Just wait for me a little longer…please.
⌨⌨⌨
Another two weeks go by like this, MC pestering him about what he needs and then showing up a couple of times a week to bring by groceries and her own homemade meals. Saeyoung shows up in the chatroom a couple of times a day, and MC enters as often as she can manage, telling the members about her day and making sure everything is okay. When Saeyoung does come in, he is the bright, joke loving 707 for the rest of the members, even when she knows things are bad back at the bunker. It worries her, because she knows that if Saeyoung would just let them know what was going on the entire RFA would do everything they could to help, but maybe the chatroom is his escape. He needs a place to just be happy. Plus, she misses that bright joke-loving part of his personality, even if it is just a farce it makes her happy to see little pieces of it around in the chat logs. Hopefully soon he’ll be able to let that part of him out more.
MC brings more of her own homemade food during the next few trips after an uptick in both ‘thank you’ texts and updates on ‘God 7’s Kitchen Experiments’ most of which seem dubitably edible . After the second visit, Saeran starts coming out of his room as soon as the doorbell rings. He never makes it close enough to the door for MC to see him, but she can hear the door shut and the sounds of someone trying to be sneaky. It makes her smile, the food is well-received by the both of them it seems. She really is helping them, and Saeyoung seems to be warming up to the visits. He smiles more, and seems more hesitant to see her go. They are back to affectionate goodbye kisses and lingering stares to prolong the final moments before she leaves.
She leans into today’s goodbye kiss and rests her forehead on her fiancé’s when he tries to pull away. Not yet, neither of them are ready to let go yet, she can see it in his eyes, even behind the hesitance. Saeyoung takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly before he speaks.
“…Do you want to come inside for a minute?”
I’ve been waiting for weeks!
“Of course,” MC says, grabbing a couple of the grocery bags and following him inside. A flash of hair peeks out from the hall and tries to duck away when she enters the house, just a second too late to keep from being noticed. They both freeze in place, giving MC and Saeran a brief second of thoroughly awkward eye contact before Saeran darts into his room, the door rattling softly against the frame. She can hear Saeyoung fidget beside her, and looks over her shoulder with a big grin to reassure him.
“Is that you Saeran?” She speaks warmly, as though she is trying to coax a frightened animal over. In a way, she is. When that illicits no sound from behind the door after a minute, she sets down the bags in the kitchen and resolves to try a different approach. She makes a big show of stepping back into the living room, projecting her voice as far as it will go. “Hmm…maybe not. Too bad, I was looking forward to meeting him for the first time.”
Her acting skills may need a lot of  little work, but after several long seconds of silence, the door opens a few inches, revealing Saeran peering at her like a disgruntled cat. MC can’t help but beam at him. He might still be…rough around the edges, but it felt like progress, and the potential for more to come.  
One day they would all be a happy family, and she was sure of it.
152 notes · View notes
purplesurveys · 4 years
Text
1028
survey by lets-make-surveys
1 - What was the last thing you watched on TV? The last TV show I watched was Friends, but the last thing I saw on TV was the evening news, as is always our companion when having dinner.
2 - Do you have the heating or air conditioning on at the moment? I have the fan on, like always. I just turn on the aircon in the evening because I want to be comfortable after a long day and when trying to fall asleep.
3 - When was the last time you did something to help someone else? Andi was having a dilemma about an already-secure job offer for a position they don’t 100% like vs. a job they know they would enjoy a lot more but isn’t guaranteed at all. I helped weigh out the pros and cons with them, but I didn’t necessarily stick to a position as I didn’t want to dictate a choice for them.
4 - If you have a job, have you been busier or quieter since the whole COVID thing hit? I was a student, then was unemployed, then got hired throughout this COVID fiasco so far. For the first two, life had been quiet for me and I really hated feeling like having no contribution at home. My plate is definitely a lot fuller now and I’m glad I have things to do and earn for myself while doing so.
5 - Do you spend more time on your own or with others? Are you happy with that? On my own. I think it’s best for me at the moment.
6 - Do you know anyone who has been diagnosed with autism? Yes.
7 - Have you had your wisdom teeth removed? What about your tonsils or your appendix? None of these. I’ve had a tooth removed, but it wasn’t a wisdom tooth.
8 - Are you scared of needles? Very. I hate most sharp things, and I am an embarrassment whenever I’m at the hospital and need to be pricked with something.
9 - Do you dress more for comfort, fashion or practicality? I try to strike a balance between comfort and fashion, but sometimes I’ll prioritize comfort and sometimes I’ll prioritize fashion. But practicality is definitely barely in my criteria when picking outfits.
10 - When was the last time you smoked a cigarette? I think it may have been February. I only smoke with other people and I’ve never bought my own pack.
11 - Would you rather drink tea, coffee, hot chocolate or water? In the grand scheme of things, water. But right now, a hot chocolate sounds heavenly.
12 - Do you have a lot of ornaments around your house? Yes. We also have our Christmas tree already up, so that has also boosted the amount of ornaments we have.
13 - Do you own more books or DVD’s? Books. While I have a number of DVDs, I never really an avid collector of them. My dad introduced me to torrent websites at a young age so that’s how I’ve been getting movies for the longest time.
14 - How often would you say you took surveys? Throughout the quarantine I had taken surveys daily. But with me now having work and usually being too exhausted by the end of the day, I think I’ll be back to taking surveys only on weekends now like how it was when I was in school. 
15 - Have you ever worn a uniform to school or work? Yes, I had to wear a uniform in my old school.
16 - Who was the first person you had a sleepover with? Are you still in touch with that person today? It would have to be either Angela or Gabie. Yes, I still talk to both.
17 - When you were growing up, did you have any friends who were almost like family to you? Katreen’s and Angela’s families were second families to me. For a time back in grade school, Katreen’s mom actually used to pick me up alongside Katreen every Friday and then I would stay at their place until around 9 PM, when my mom would get back from work and pick me up. They did such a wonderful job making me feel like family, and I hope they’re all doing well today.
18 - Could you cook an entire Christmas or Thanksgiving Dinner entirely on your own with no help from other people or recipe books? Yes but it would not be edible.
19 - Do you cook from scratch or do you rely more on ready meals or frozen food? I rely on people in my family who can actualy cook, ha.
20 - What’s your favourite type of fast food? Is it something you eat often? KFC would have to be my favorite. Those 11 herbs and spices don’t fuck around, man. It’s not the cheapest of fast food options, so I don’t get to have it a lot and it’s usually tradition for me to get KFC only when I feel like I deserve a reward for an accomplishment or after a grueling week.
21 - If you’ve been under a lockdown or stay-at-home order, what did you find the most difficult about it? Not having been able to see my friends, go out as a group, and stay out late. Also, not getting a normal college graduation and being unable to spend my last semester as a college student just being a dumb college student doing dumb college student things.
22 - Do you still buy or read any magazines? I’ll sometimes read the online versions of magazines especially if one of them comes out with a compelling article, but I don’t follow any of them religiously.
23 - As a teenager, what did you spend most of your pocket money or allowance on? I went out with friends on the weekends, so my savings mostly went to food and Uber (back when we still had Uber, and back when none of us could drive yet).
24 - Do you have much of a sweet tooth? I have my moods for sure, but I love savory a lot more.
25 - Are there any common “popular” foods that you don’t particularly like yourself? Have people ever told you you’re odd/strange for disliking that particular food? Fruits. I get judged for it all the time, but I honestly live for the reactions hahaha. To this day it’s still my go-to fact to say whenever I have to share something about myself. There’s also sinigang, but that is such a universally-loved food and is such a huge source of pride for Filipinos that I just keep it to myself because people get genuinely annoyed/offended when they hear that I don’t like sinigang LOL
26 - Likewise, are there are any commonly hated foods that you love? BALUT
27 - Would you rather eat pizza or pasta? Pizza. Easy.
28 - Do you own a lot of store loyalty cards? I just have the one for my gas station, so no.
29 - When was the last time you read a newspaper? I had to view a newspaper article for work yesterday, but I have not read a full newspaper in years.
30 - What kind of noises can you hear around you right now? There’s the fan in my room and construction outside our house.
--
survey by lets-make-surveys
1 - Do you have a car? How long have you had it and how much did it cost? Yeah but it’s technically not mine; my parents made the purchase and they gave it to me as a high school graduation present. They’re also the ones who take care of and pay for its maintenance, like taking it to oil changes; so literally my only contribution has been to drive it HAHAHA. I’ve been driving it since 2016 and I’m pretty sure it cost them less than a million bucks. It was probably around P800,000–900,000.
2 - Who was the last person to send you a message on Facebook? Andi was checking up on how I’ve been. I appreciated that.
3 - What did you have for breakfast this morning? I haven’t had it yet but I will probably skip it. I might make myself coffee, though.
4 - Do you have any scented candles lit at the moment? I never have any scented candles.
5 - When was the last time you left your house? When will be the next time you go out? Yesterday afternoon. There was nothing left to do for work and my superiors hadn’t been asking me to do any tasks anymore, so I went out to get myself Starbucks before my shift was actually over, haha oops. I might be going out next Tuesday to pick up my new card from the bank.
6 - Does anyone in real life follow your survey blog? If so, does it make you think twice about some of your answers? If not, are you ever paranoid that someone will find your blog and read your answers? No. My sister has been wanting to make a survey blog but she just never got around to making it because she thinks she’ll end up being inactive; but that’s about it on the irl people front. If she ever makes one, I’d prefer we didn’t follow one another as doing so would make things awkward.
7 - When was the last time someone stopped talking to you? Have you made up with that person since? Gabie doesn’t speak with me regularly anymore. We’re not on bad terms so there’s nothing to make up, but she has told me it’s out of shame that she doesn’t initiate conversations with me these days. 
8 - Who was the last person you argued or bickered with? I haven’t had an argument with anyone in a while.
9 - Do you have anything planned for the rest of the day? If you’re about to go to bed, what are your plans for tomorrow? Catch up on surveys as I haven’t done them all week, anddddd figure out what to do with my embroidery kit as I’ve run out of the provided thread :(
10 - Did you have any e-mails in your inbox the last time you checked? It’s the weekend so no, I haven’t received anything new.
11 - What time did you wake up this morning? Did you have to set an alarm or did you wake up naturally? It was 7:08 AM when I had checked. I just woke up naturally.
12 - When was the last time it snowed where you live? Probably when it was still a part of Pangaea or something. We don’t get snow on this side of the world and the nearest place that does is probably like South Korea, which is not near us at all.
13 - Does it bother you if you’re wearing odd socks? Like, mismatched ones? No, I find it cute actually.
14 - Is there anything small that bothers you way more than it should? Right now. I had sent out an event invite to certain media last Thursday for work, and one of them replied only by 6 PM last night. I only saw it by 9:30 and replied, then she got back with a question by around 9:50 PM, and at that point I decided against replying because it was already nearing 10 PM and I didn’t want to be rude. I want to reply today but it’s the weekend and I don’t wanna be the jerk that brings up work on the weekend, but I also don’t want to leave her hanging because I had technically cut our conversation short. 
OK I spent the next 30 minutes thinking about it and I ended up replying hahaha. It just didn’t sit well with me to blow her off for the weekend when her last message was a question for me. So I answered her for her clarification, but I just made sure to let her know there’s no pressure for her to get back to me this weekend.
15 - Would you rather read a book, watch a film or play a video game? Watch someone play a video game, tbh.
16 - Why did you last attend a doctors’ appointment? Because my fever wasn’t going away and I wanted to get rid of it so bad.
17 - Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone? The person from Pizza Hut who took my order, I think? lol
18 - How many different colours have you dyed your hair over the years? is your hair your natural colour at the moment? I’ve never had it dyed, so it has always been black.
19 - Do you prefer sweet or savoury snacks? I have moods for both, but as a whole I think I’d go for savory.
20 - When was the last time you got up to use the bathroom? A couple of hours ago.
21 - Do you spend more money on shoes or clothes? I spend more often on clothes but they aren’t always necessarily expensive. I don’t buy shoes often, but when I do they’re usually quite expensive, so. I’m not sure how to answer this question, but it goes two ways for me.
22 - Are you glad that Biden won the 2020 elections? I’m glad he won but at the end of the day he’s still just the lesser evil. I won’t really know anything until I see him and his moves in office, so I’ll have to wait until then.
23 - What kind of things do you do to try and save the planet? I segregate, turn off the faucet when it isn’t being used, never turn on my bedroom light, and before Covid I’d pick up trash I’d see at the mall.
24 - Are you, or have you ever been, vegetarian or vegan? I haven’t been either but I do opt for vegan options when I see one on the menu.
25 - What was the last thing you threw in the bin/garbage? A cotton bud.
26 - How many times a week do you exercise? Do you think that’s enough or should you really be doing more? I never do. I know I should probably do so, but eh.
27 - When was the last time you had to cancel or re-arrange plans you'd made? What was the reason behind it? LOL well...I’m currently having to rearrange and revise and adjust my entire life plans because of this stupid breakup.
28 - Have you ever had to wear braces? Yes. But I’ll have to avail them again because I did a terrible job keeping my retainers on.
29 - What cut of jeans do you prefer? Mom jeans that are a little more loose than skinny jeans, but aren’t too baggy.
30 - If you’re planning to spend the day at home, do you get properly dressed or just wear pyjamas? I wear my usual getup of a t-shirt/tank top and shorts.
--
survey by lets-make-surveys
1 - What’s the biggest argument you’ve ever had with a family member? Did things ever go back to how they were beforehand? It was an argument with the entire family, sans my sister who stayed silently watching during the whole thing as she hates conflict. We had just flown back to Manila from a vacation and we were all just tired and impatient and hungry, my mom found a way to shift the blame on me as per usual, some words were exchanged, and my brother ended up slapping me and it was on hell on earth from there. Things weren’t ok for a whole week, but slowly life went back to normal without us ever acknowledging it because we’re dysfunctional as fuck. The one thing that never ended up changing is my dynamic with my brother, with whom I stopped speaking permanently after what he did.
2 - Have you ever experienced some kind of natural disaster? A lot; my country is a big hot spot for typhoons, so we don’t really have a choice but to go through several of them every year. Sometimes it’ll get bad enough for us to make it to international news because our government doesn’t really do anything to help out victims.
3 - If you have pets, do you feed them human food or do they just get regular pet food? If they do get human food, what’s their favourite thing to have? They both get human food. I’m not sure what Cooper’s favorite is as Nina primarily feeds him; but Kimi is most obsessed with chicken.
4 - Have you ever been in a physical fight? Who won? Just play wrestling matches with my cousin when we were kids. He always won as he was older and a lot bigger than me.
5 - What were you lighting the last time you used a lighter or matches? I don’t light stuff up on my own because I’m scared of fire, but the last time we used matches was for lighting up our emergency candles because of the power outage from last week.
6 - What’s the weather currently doing where you are? It is annoyingly humid. I had to open my windows and roll up my window blinds today, which I hate having to do because it makes neighbors able to see my room and what I’m doing here -_____- I feel like I’m giving away my privacy every time I have to have the blinds up just to have colder air in.
7 - The last time you got up from your seat, what did you go and do? Before doing this I came from bed. When I felt like doing a survey I just got up and headed to my work desk.
8 - Name five things you’ve done so far today: Received a package for something I bought online, made myself a sandwich, ate cheese-flavored corn chips, watch a half-season of Friends, and bought another embroidery kit online (I’ve been calling it ‘cross-stitch’ this whole time but apparently that is wrong, whoops). Not a very productive Saturday, but it’s honestly ok considering I’m left exhausted from the past week.
9 - What’s the mode of transport that you take or use the most? I drive myself.
10 - When was the last time you got caught in a rain or snow storm? Were you dressed for it or did you end up getting soaked? Start of the month. I was driving to take Cooper to the vet when it suddenly started raining super hard, but it was only upon arriving at the clinic that I realized there wasn’t any umbrella in the car. Had to make a quick dash from the car to the nearest shade, all the while keeping Cooper under my jacket so that he stayed dry. I was soaked as shit but he was kept dry, which was all that mattered.
11 - Did your favourite Disney film come out before or after you were born? I have two favorites: Toy Story came out three years before I was born, but Tangled came 12 years after my birth.
12 - Are you a fan of musicals? No, I never saw the appeal.
13 - What the last thing you spent money on apart from necessities? My favorite coffee from Starbucks. It’s a win-win situation for me at the moment: my mom is asking for a Starbucks planner for Christmas, which means all I need to do for her gift is to keep ordering coffees from there until I’ve collected enough stickers to be entitled to a planner, heheh.
14 - Are there any sequels to things that you prefer to the original? Ooh, I’m not the biggest fan of movies that come in multiple parts so I don’t know if I have any picks. I can name covers that I like than the original songs, though.
15 - How often do you lose the remote control? I haven’t really sat down in front of a TV to watch shows since high school, so I haven’t temporarily lost a remote control since then.
16 - When was the last time you had problems with your internet connection? Last Thursday and Friday but only because the power went out.
17 - What games do you play on your phone, if any at all? I play 1010 the most, but I’ve got tons of other games that are just sitting in my menu just in case I’m suddenly in the mood to play them.
18 - Aside from family, who was the last person you spent time with? How do you know that person? I dunno, I guess the people in my work meeting video call yesterday afternoon? It was my first meeting with that particular team as the newbie at work, so I don’t actually know all of them that well yet.
19 - Are you currently warm, cold or just right? I am hot and irritated by it.
20 - Do you prefer showers or baths? When was the last time you had either? Showers; my last one was yesterday. My last bath was...no clue. Two years ago, maybe?
21 - Do you spend a lot of money on your appearance? I used to spend a lot on clothes, yeah, at least before Covid. But right now there really has been no point in upgrading my wardrobe, so I haven’t been buying any new pieces.
22 - When was the last time you spent more than £100 on something? Was it a necessity like a bill, or a treat for yourself? I have never spent ₱6,408 in one sitting, whether it be for myself, for a necessity, or for someone else. That’s crazy and will probably take a couple more years before I see myself making transactions that huge.
23 - Would you rather swim in the sea, a lake or a pool? Seeeeeeeea. I always feel at peace in the sea, and ugh I miss it so much.
24 - Have you ever had a zoo keeper experience or anything where you’ve been able to go behind the scenes and look after/feed the animals? I wouldn’t call it a zookeeper experience, but we went to some sort of animal park in Bali that let me carry and interact with all sorts of animals.
25 - Would you ever want the responsibility of being a politician or a similar position of power? Probably not. I don’t think I’d be able to handle it.
26 - How many times a week do you go to the grocery store? My parents go at least once a week to buy groceries.
27 - When was the last time you got a takeaway coffee or drink? Last night. Being able to earn money and spend it on myself and never have to ask from my parents anymore has been one of the highlights of my year so far, aaaahhhhh
28 - Do you quote films or TV shows as you’re watching them? If I love the film and memorize a chunk of the dialogue, yes. The movie I quote the most as I watch it is most definitely Titanic.
29 - What’s something your parents do that really annoys you? My dad doesn’t really do anything that annoys me. My mom doesn’t knock.
30 - If you had to quarantine for two weeks tomorrow due to testing positive to COVID, would you be able to survive on the things you had in your house? Yes. I’ll be locked in my room but my dad will probably be bringing me food, just the way he did when I got sick last May and had to isolate myself.
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savvyherb · 5 years
Text
Five People Have Died from Lung Illnesses Linked to Vaping. Should You Quit?
Last week, federal health officials warned the public that a mysterious illness linked to vaping had killed a fifth person in the U.S. At least 450 cases of vaping-associated illness are suspected in hospitals across 33 states and one territory, with the numbers continuing to rise. Those hospitalized are mostly young and healthy, and were admitted with symptoms beginning with fever and nausea, escalating to coughing, chest pain, and shortness of breath. All had vaped—either weed, nicotine, or a combination of the two—in the previous 90 days; most had vaped much more recently.
The cases represent a small percentage of the vaping population, but the severity of the illness—which looks like viral or bacterial pneumonia, but isn’t—has investigators worried. (An editorial in The New England Journal of Medicine declared “there is clearly an epidemic that begs for an urgent response,” and that doctors “should discourage their patients from vaping.”) Doctors have described “severe lung injury” and, in one death in an older patient, a “long and complicated hospitalization.” One patient, chronicled in The Washington Post, went from feeling sick to being “on death’s door” in two days; six weeks after leaving the hospital the 20 year-old former hiker still has diminished lung capacity and struggles with his short-term memory. Doctors aren’t sure whether he’ll fully recover.
While authorities have published case studies describing the acute lung disorder observed in people who vape, its exact cause remains unclear. It hasn’t been linked to a specific product or device; investigators also aren’t sure whether it’s a new phenomenon or something they’re just recognizing, though details point to the former.
As a discerning user, how can you know if you’re vaping responsibly? We asked the experts.
Am I safe if I’m avoiding THC vapes?
No. “Many but not all of the cases have been linked to THC-containing products,” said MeiLan K. Han, professor of internal medicine in the Division of Pulmonary and Critical Care Medicine at Michigan Medicine and director of the Michigan Airways Program. She notes that Food and Drug Administration testing showed vitamin E acetate, an oil derived from vitamin E, in weed products vaped by people who’d gotten sick. That oil could be causing lung inflammation, she said. But not everyone who got sick reported using such products, and some were using only nicotine vape product. “At this time there is no guaranteed ‘safe’ form of vaping,” Han said.
How can I tell if my vape is safe to use?
The FDA has warned vapers against buying products “off the street,” or those that have been mixed or tampered with, implying that “reputable” products are safer. But as Buckles noted, “There is no regulation or inspection of these manufacturers or vape shops, so there is no way to tell if a device or liquid is from a ‘reputable place.’” This means that even if you’re using a fancy pen that you bought legally in L.A., you can’t be guaranteed to escape this mystery illness. In June 2017, the Trump administration delayed rules being put in place for the e-cigarette industry by four years—they’re set to go into effect in 2022, though a court case may change that to 2021.
Wow, ok. I vape several times a day. Should I completely stop?
“Yes, you should stop completely,” said Deborah Buckles, program director of the Tobacco Treatment Program at the Indiana University Melvin and Bren Simon Cancer Center. Because investigators haven’t identified the source of the lung disorder, she said, right now the safest bet is simply not to vape. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention said on Friday that it recommends not vaping while the investigation is ongoing.
Uh, but I’m addicted to nicotine, and THC helps me sleep. Are cigarettes less risky for me than vapes?
Combustible cigs are still bad for you, as you well know. “Cigarettes contain their own risks for increasing risk of lung cancer, heart disease, and a host of other lung problems,” Han said. “The bottom line is that the lungs were not designed to breathe anything other than clean air. Anything other than that is a potential health risk.”
The health risks of cigarettes are well known; right now, the risks from vaping are not well understood—and that lack of information goes beyond the current spate of illnesses.That’s because e-cigarettes are a relatively recent phenomenon. Touted as a safer alternative to cigarettes, they were brought to market with very little scientific study; there are a lot of unknowns about them, and the more they’re studied, the less safe they seem to be.
“Vape shop owners and e-cigarette manufacturers like to say they are helpful with quitting smoking,” Buckles said, “However, there is no evidence at this time to indicate this is true.” The FDA regulates vapes as tobacco products, and has not approved them for smoking cessation or anything else.
The bottom line is that there’s currently an epidemic of illnesses related to vaping; beyond that risk, the long-term safety of vaping is far from established. In the face of those uncertainties, returning to the devil you know—cigarettes—may seem safer. But in the long run, that’s a bad idea too. “Cigarettes are certainly not safe,” Buckles said. “There are 69 known or suspected cancer-causing agents found in every cigarette.”
Not to be a total buzzkill, but getting away from smoking and vaping is pretty much your only solution. “The safest route is FDA- approved smoking-cessation medications,” Buckles said, referring to options like gum, patches, nasal sprays, and lozenges. “And there are currently 7 on the market. We know these medications are effective and safe. The most effective and safest way to quit smoking is to use medication and counseling in combination.” As for getting your dose of THC, you’ve got other, probably safer options, including edibles, drinkables, and other things not involving lighting chemicals on fire and inhaling them.
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source https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/ne8eqq/vaping-deaths-2019-is-vaping-safe
The post Five People Have Died from Lung Illnesses Linked to Vaping. Should You Quit? appeared first on Savvy Herb Mobile Cannabis Platform.
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flauntpage · 6 years
Text
The Early Reactions For Gritty Are In
The Flyers introduced their new mascot, Gritty, this morning in front of children at the Please Touch Museum. God bless those souls. I heard from someone who works for the team that it was going to be really ugly. It appears so. No idea what’s going on here.
Twitter reactions are after the jump. 
Really?????????? https://t.co/fuwMSRRSf8
— Howard Eskin (@howardeskin) September 24, 2018
this looks like Animal did too much coke pic.twitter.com/3Yh0mN4Cdg
— keithlaw (@keithlaw) September 24, 2018
Was having a nice day until I saw the new Flyers mascot.
— Marisa Ingemi (@Marisa_Ingemi) September 24, 2018
pic.twitter.com/AxbUKlhDja
— David Shapiro (@BlueSeatBlogs) September 24, 2018
INBOX: Congratulations to our new Deputy Attorney General! pic.twitter.com/ECQTGMkOWe
— Comfortably Smug (@ComfortablySmug) September 24, 2018
BE UNAFRAID CHILDREN FOR I AM GRITTY. CLOSE YOUR EYES AND SLEEP FOREVER AS I DEVOUR YOUR SOULS. pic.twitter.com/mjtFv4hgEv
— CogginToboggan (@CogginToboggan) September 24, 2018
Cowardly Lion been smashing Grimace pic.twitter.com/5iqCcSHa3V
— Cory Brown (@CoryBrown3) September 24, 2018
Live look at the kids when they walk into the WFC and see the new mascot pic.twitter.com/LbM1N529LU
— Christopher Deibler (@mrcrockpot) September 24, 2018
Apparently good mascot ideas are as elusive as the 2nd Round of the playoffs or quality goaltending
— Franzke & LA (@FranzkeLA) September 24, 2018
DEAD UPON US ALL, HE WILL HAUNT OUR DREAMS
— ᴶᴬᴷ³ (@jmchvgh) September 24, 2018
#HeyYouGuys #Sloth #Goonies @NHLFlyers pic.twitter.com/nEwUBsAYyW
— Chris Lamers (@24bigslim) September 24, 2018
the orange they have for the 4t shirts is pic.twitter.com/72TL0gNUHz
— Babs the Ghost Shark (@HockeyBabbler) September 24, 2018
pic.twitter.com/mfnrGg0imp
— Chris Devine (@cdevine95) September 24, 2018
Looks like the phanatic and cookie monster had an orange child.
— Alex Unrue (@alex_unrue) September 24, 2018
Children when Gritty shows up to their school. pic.twitter.com/0vYmUdYqeV
— DylanCallaghanCroley (@DylanCCSports) September 24, 2018
pic.twitter.com/stUAddD4Hk
— Nikki (@80sretro215) September 24, 2018
pic.twitter.com/T8iKPqiOUQ
— Arnold (@Arnold921) September 24, 2018
I'm all in on the ZZ Top rebrand https://t.co/LflwYEeBp8
— Jay Busbee (@jaybusbee) September 24, 2018
every picture i see it gets worse
— evnted (@evnted) September 24, 2018
Gritty is the Phanatic’s cousin from Delco
— Zoo With Roy (@zoowithroy) September 24, 2018
Don't make the Phanatic interact with that evil demon
— Zach (@Zach_Brach) September 24, 2018
You vs the guy she told you not to worry about. @BarstoolJordie @KingOfTheNHL pic.twitter.com/vif54Lw5LD
— Mike Smith (@Real_MikeySmith) September 24, 2018
@dpim13 I feel like I've seen this thing somewhere before. Oh right… pic.twitter.com/0P4ysDr1X7
— Dan Mirsky (@DanMirsky) September 24, 2018
Hopefully a short-lived mistake
— Daniel Brobst (@dbrobst92) September 24, 2018
What in the fuckin heck? https://t.co/VLSLmKBC2G
— Pardon My Take (@PardonMyTake) September 24, 2018
pic.twitter.com/xzfNkqW58p
— #1 Nik Antropov Fan (@hockeylake72) September 24, 2018
New Flyers mascot out here looking like a drunk Irish uncle who passed out on the grill and burned his nose off. pic.twitter.com/yVGFULr3fL
— McKeever (@JohnnyMcKeever) September 24, 2018
pic.twitter.com/jLqXvcupEk
— Herbs (@JonHerbert1412) September 24, 2018
"Has anyone seen Phil E. Moose?" pic.twitter.com/9LaZuH2cPF
— Zoo With Roy (@zoowithroy) September 24, 2018
Grit E. Moose
— Elton Jawn (@FanSince09) September 24, 2018
Shout out to whoever designed the new flyers mascot for really nailing that "jerks-off-while-holding-binoculars" look pic.twitter.com/LJRpGGzBHp
— McKeever (@JohnnyMcKeever) September 24, 2018
Guys, I’m being sincere, this just doesn’t work. Gritty has hidden bodies under floor boards
— Geoff (@geoffmang) September 24, 2018
pic.twitter.com/AxXmexspCr
— Quiet Wolf (@_PositiveBob) September 24, 2018
#Gritty pic.twitter.com/PISZ22cziM
— BuzzFeedPhillySports (@buzzfeedphl) September 24, 2018
"HERE’S GRITTY!" pic.twitter.com/DFIIn1Qlli
— Matt Mullin (@matt_mullin) September 24, 2018
Maybe we’re overreacting to Gritty, this is fine. pic.twitter.com/Q4PuNIqhoS
— John Barchard (@JohnBarchard) September 24, 2018
pic.twitter.com/am5Hcxudra
— Brian Spasm (@xpenis_cakesx) September 24, 2018
pic.twitter.com/XLSv1utUDp
— ♚ Brendan Page ♚ (@BrendanDrPepper) September 24, 2018
pic.twitter.com/OOOYqBiYxe
— MLB Insider Dinger (@atf13atf) September 24, 2018
If this thing tries to touch me, I’m launching a beer at its head
— TJ Schirmer (@tjschirmer15) September 24, 2018
looks like Jake on LSD
— b h (@beerman86) September 24, 2018
pic.twitter.com/D4dZP9A5xf
— Marc Farzetta (@MarcFarzetta) September 24, 2018
Just showed Oskar Lindblom. “We’ll see how gritty he is.” https://t.co/T4us9aFDCL
— Dave Isaac (@davegisaac) September 24, 2018
I mean, the orange beard on the new mascot is indeed ridiculously on-brand for this particular Flyers team.
— Charlie O'Connor (@charlieo_conn) September 24, 2018
@Hartsy43 Scott hartnell really let himself go
— Backwodz (@EWodz2) September 24, 2018
Gritty is the lovechild of Jake Voracek and Scott Hartnell.
— Kyle McNulty (@mcnultyk9) September 24, 2018
“And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him.” pic.twitter.com/fEaAsMsHrv
— Actually Jason Kelce (@moviesontherox) September 24, 2018
pic.twitter.com/zazXoChm7a
— Danny (@Dannydelphia) September 24, 2018
@NHLFlyers: Join us in welcoming the newest member of the #Flyers Family, @GrittyNHL!! Fans: pic.twitter.com/wWBRPUtDrX
— Tommy P (@RealTommyPro) September 24, 2018
Great to see Jayson Werth involved in the Philly sports scene once again
— James Stumper Jr. (@JamesStumper) September 24, 2018
lmao noooooooo what is this?! what have you done???? https://t.co/Sk3elelLGt
— Pete Blackburn (@PeteBlackburn) September 24, 2018
Bad call in the playoffs and Gritty's head ends up on the ice.
— Adam Gretz (@AGretz) September 24, 2018
And is blazed out of his gourd
— $20 funds a month of tutoring (@Briligerent) September 24, 2018
pic.twitter.com/KSdXeVSwEY
— Ihavetweets (@JohnSharples850) September 24, 2018
pic.twitter.com/m9lQJYeg7D
— Yves-Martin Henley (@HenleyYves) September 24, 2018
pic.twitter.com/IvitdWfYbl
— bw (@BesWilthon) September 24, 2018
Faces of Meth pic.twitter.com/YNanOtAJ0Y
— Pete Blackburn (@PeteBlackburn) September 24, 2018
*focus group meeting*
“So what are you looking for in a new mascot?”
“What if we took the red monster from that Bugs Bunny episode of Looney Tunes and dipped his face in a vat of acid?”
“Say no more fam” https://t.co/DB8f1H5YLE
— Kyle Neubeck (@KyleNeubeck) September 24, 2018
Gritty is the Phanatic’s cousin from Delco
— Zoo With Roy (@zoowithroy) September 24, 2018
Definitely brews his own beer.
— Rob Wesley (@eastwes) September 24, 2018
pic.twitter.com/NoPZRFsoXa
— John (@buddyspitz) September 24, 2018
Most adults were gonna hate this mascot regardless of what it was, so I honestly sorta respect that the Flyers just decided to go full nightmare-inducing with the thing.
— Charlie O'Connor (@charlieo_conn) September 24, 2018
Nah dog that’s orange Grimace with a Port Richmond beard https://t.co/RKGbNSx6Z1
— max (@MaxOnTwitter) September 24, 2018
What grit really looks like @iceburghNHL @penguins @NHLFlyers pic.twitter.com/B47xl62G4n
— Brian Mazurowski (@BMaz1) September 24, 2018
Mark Madden in muppet form https://t.co/OpEdJhhumK
— Ra's al Ghul Douglas (@Southern_Philly) September 24, 2018
@grittynhl are you related to Pepe the King Prawn? pic.twitter.com/fg8RHYWF6S
— eerie kwun (@ericsketch) September 24, 2018
gritty has definitely sent at least 50 unsolicited dick pics with the caption "it me" underneath each single pic. i, for one, am ready to die. https://t.co/VGbVFMujRH
— little lumpia (@emilyexploded) September 24, 2018
https://twitter.com/cschmid10/status/1044261992977117184
you vs. the cursed hellbeast she told you not to worry about pic.twitter.com/mOxu4KdpxQ
— Jesse Spector (@jessespector) September 24, 2018
THE FUCKING EYES https://t.co/8KpjKdVFHG
— Julian (@Jules_R18) September 24, 2018
i am here for this dirtbag mascot https://t.co/NN75blJ105
— Justin Sink (@justinsink) September 24, 2018
Meet the Philadelphia Flyers’ new mascot, "Flaming Hot Cheetos Soaked In Acid" https://t.co/T1rHAE4OVd pic.twitter.com/jItlnIMyxt
— Pete Blackburn (@PeteBlackburn) September 24, 2018
This guy's brother maybe? pic.twitter.com/UOuLip8zBZ
— Flynnie (@PhlFlynnie) September 24, 2018
I will not trust Gritty around my kids
— Geoff (@geoffmang) September 24, 2018
When the edibles kick in pic.twitter.com/YJ93WWCBni
— Actually Jason Kelce (@moviesontherox) September 24, 2018
Jesus…#NHL #Flyers #Mascot #Mascots #Gritty #Hockey @NHL @GrittyNHL @NHLFlyers @NJDevil00 pic.twitter.com/yKTLIfQivC
— King (@KingOfSkunkDuck) September 24, 2018
Gritty is going to be such a bad influence on the Phanatic.
— Enrico (@The700Level) September 24, 2018
Fold the franchise https://t.co/T0H7MbAFA1
— Brian Coulter (@PhilaBCoulter) September 24, 2018
helphttps://t.co/RrUV8W9kFg
— Becca (@BeccaH_JR) September 24, 2018
Worst ideas in recent Philly sports history:
1. Pushing out Sam Hinkie 2. Giving Chip Kelly full power 3. Gritty
pic.twitter.com/6ff1jhJVEy
— Joe Giglio (@JoeGiglioSports) September 24, 2018
https://t.co/6k2ivBEaNM
— Seth (@SaxNStrikeouts) September 24, 2018
Quick n dirty pic.twitter.com/zD6GzhjD8S
— Chris Covers (@ChrisCoverSongs) September 24, 2018
His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy There's vomit on his sweater already, mascot Gritty
— Down Goes Brown (@DownGoesBrown) September 24, 2018
Whoever came up with this idea should be fired. Whoever approved this idea should be shamed. Mascots don’t belong in hockey. https://t.co/JCjIcuxJi3
— Brendan Tierney (@tierneyb5) September 24, 2018
They said the Eagles winning the Super Bowl would be the greatest day in the history of Philadelphia sports.
THEY WERE WRONG. https://t.co/9cX5GLZBe2
— Greg Wyshynski (@wyshynski) September 24, 2018
lol ok https://t.co/3sSJcbLSfF
— Pittsburgh Penguins (@penguins) September 24, 2018
Sleep with one eye open tonight, bird. pic.twitter.com/wLmGBa0Oyh
— Gritty (@GrittyNHL) September 24, 2018
The city is now officially on a cold streak on introducing new mascots.
Whoever is cursing Philadelphia with these new mascots please stop we don’t deserve this pic.twitter.com/iWamin1PuI
— (@alyssakeiko) September 24, 2018
[interior, Philly Mascot HQ. The Phanatic sits behind his desk]
PHANATIC: You’re my No. 2, Swoop. And, Franklin, you’ve proven your loyalty in such a short time. You all know what to do.
(Swoop & Franklin nod silently)
PHANATIC: We strike tonight. Both of them.
SWOOP: Both? pic.twitter.com/Q1b2cX80zd
— Matt Mullin (@matt_mullin) September 24, 2018
The post The Early Reactions For Gritty Are In appeared first on Crossing Broad.
The Early Reactions For Gritty Are In published first on https://footballhighlightseurope.tumblr.com/
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boxession · 7 years
Text
I am always excited when I get to be the first to open a newly launched box. This one is no exception to that. I am a Mum of two boys aged 3 and 10, and my life is hectic. I run my partners business and as you all know I am a full-time Blogger and the founding owner of BoXession.
I started buying boxes years ago as a way of treating myself, and that extra element of surprise as opposed to ordering from a Website and knowing what I am getting in the post has always attracted me to Subscription Boxes – Hence the name, BoX-Obsession!
When I was asked by Alex and Georgina to review their Launch Box, I was over the moon and still, despite the astonishing growth rate of BoXession, I am always humbled to be recognised as a serious influencer. This is my love, passion and my life! Writing is a pleasure to me and I consider it my down time and not a chore.
The idea behind Not Just a Mum Club is a unique one, Alex and Georgina are both Mum’s and recognise that need for recuperation and relaxation time once the Children are finally tucked up in bed, or at School. The potential for this Box in my opinion is huge, I have ran BoXession since May 2017, and a large amount of my audience I have discovered are people exactly like me. To be honest, you don’t need to be a Mum either to love this and Subscribe.
I notice a lot of detail after reviewing in the region of 200 boxes. This box has its identity. The design is pretty, sleek, and sophisticated. The bow absolutely had me before I even pulled it and delved into the box contents. I do have a not so secret bow obsession though! This has been perfected before the launch, which is a joy to see. I can tell that these ladies have a huge amount of love and dedication for what they have created. There is even a Mum of the Month section on their insert card (which I find myself wanting to be featured on haha), and a ‘Welcome to the Club’ sticker teamed with tissue that matches the colour of that gorgeous bow.
If you missed my live unboxing you can watch it back either on the Video section of the BoXession Group, or here on our YouTube Channel. I could not contain my excitement…
 So What’s in the Box?
MOA Green Balm – 50ml Full Size – RRP £15
Blotter & Brush Print – RRP £5
Zerreau Towel Off Strawberry Shampoo Foam Full Size – RRP £7.95
Maybelline Lip Crayon in ‘Stay Classy’ Full Size – RRP £4.99
Indie Bay Snacks Quinoa Pretzel Bites Full Size – RRP £2.49
Boomf Marshmallow – RRP £19.99 for a box of 9 so worth £2.22
Little Heart Gifts English Rose Artisan Soap Full Size – RRP £6
TOTAL Box Value = £43.65
Cost of Box = £17.99 (Free P&P)
A MASSIVE Saving of £25.66!!!
You can also buy the box upfront for:
3 Months – £49.00
12 Months – £199.99
Making you a nice little saving on the monthly cost. Or even a one-off box at £22.99 inc P&P if you wanted to gift it or just purchase one box for yourself.
  I know you are all dying to know my thoughts, so here goes!…
MOA Green Balm
This is a product I have purchased before, it was a selection in another build your own style box. I only had the tester size though so it is amazing to see this included as a Full Size! It has a slightly antiseptic smell to it, not overpowering. The uses for this is endless. I actually gave the last pot I had to my other half, as he goes fishing and often cuts or grazes his hands on fishing line or hooks. This balm has healing properties so was perfect for him, and it isn’t a scent that is only suitable to us ladies. This can also be used for your children. It is multi purpose, can literally be used anywhere. Cuts, bruises, elbows, and toes! Being full size I am going to get a lot of use from this for my entire family.
Zerreau Towel Off Shampoo Foam
I was very tempted to try this live on my unboxing, but I refrained just in case of a foam explosion. I never have the time to shower before the school run, I am always either jumping in before pick up time, or late evening. I have tried dry shampoo spray, and the powder type and disliked both.
So admittedly I was intrigued by this. It is also an unknown brand to me, this is not a negative as I have found some hidden gems among the unknown before to me products that have been in Subscription Boxes. I was very pleasantly surprised by the Strawberry Scent, it was nice for it to not be floral for a change as often Shampoos are; and I am a fan of anything sweet smelling. The foam itself was very light and easy to distribute through my hair. It goes on wet and then you use a towel to rub your hair dry. I couldn’t feel any residue and I used it this morning and still can’t tell. So I think I am onto a winner here. I will continue to use this now.
Blotter & Brush Print
I am a fan of positivity quotes, do you follow us on Instagram? I usually have a little Monday pick up post on there to brighten the School Run blues. My Planner, which contains the entirety of my life has a very similar design to this card. It has a quote ‘I can do this, just watch me’ on the front, and a different quote for every month too. So this has been added into my planner with a little washi tape. I would like to see more items such as this appear in the box, even little notepads, pens and so on. I know that the need to list your entire life is essential when you are on the go.
Maybelline Lip Crayon
This is my favourite item in the Box. For a start I mentioned in my unboxing that the colour is absolutely one I would choose. Being a northern lass, I did have a giggle at the ‘Stay Classy’ shade. Lip crayons are a life saver, I have a large collection of dark shade lipsticks; but I have never tried this one. It is easy to apply, you only need one coat. It leaves a subtle sheen and I just love it! The price is so reasonable it won’t break the bank for a re purchase. These do last a while though, some I have had and used regularly have been in my handbag for a year before running out.
English Rose Artisan Soap
I haven’t had the heart to unwrap this, it is just too pretty to spoil. I have spoken before about my little boudoir. I have my own En-suite and Shoe Room, I am lucky to have this space but believe me it is a god send. I don’t have to share the Bathroom with the boys as they have they own, and I get to display all of my pretty items. So this is now on my vintage cabinet along with my perfumes until I decide I can cope with the guilt of unwrapping it.
Boomf Marshmallow
This is beyond cute with its little yellow striped stick and bow! It sadly lasted all of 10 seconds (oops), but I have been intrigued by these after seeing them on the TV. You can buy a pack of 9 and have a photo of your choice printed on them and then get it posted out as a gift! It is such a fab idea, and they now do Occasion cards too I believe. They are delicious, I hope that the Mr will read this and send me some… Mother’s Day and Valentine’s Day soon, hint hint!
Indie Bay Quinoa Pretzel Bites
The bag of these are huge! I have been munching on these while typing this review. They a cross between popcorn and a cracker. I know they are pretzel but the shape makes you believe that they aren’t. I don’t think I can manage the whole bag in one go though. They are a tiny bit spicy, which is ok by me as I love spicy food anyway.
  Also included in the box are a 25% discount code for LALALAB, and an information card telling you all about Indie Bay Snacks.
  My Verdict?
I am extremely impressed. I would hand on heart purchase this box. The value is there, a great mixture of products and an overall complete feel to it. I mentioned earlier that they have their identity, this is a brand and not a box that hasn’t found its place in the world of boxes.
Being a Mum I cannot justify buying a box that is purely Makeup, or purely Skincare. I may not get the time to use it all, and I do want the odd edible treat in there too. This covers all bases and is affordable, with FREE postage too!
I would say this is one to watch out for, and that I will be stalking next month’s edit, but I don’t need to. The lovely Alex & Georgina have already asked me to review their March Box, and I am informed that it is better than this one. So now I am going to stalk my inbox and the Postwoman like a small child in anticipation for it landing.
I would love to see more edible treats, possibly some accessories, oh and I love a good face mask, lip balm/scrub, and hand products. Not that I am requesting or anything, I know you ladies have your hands full and would like to hope that is not just being Mum’s; but also gaining lots of new subscribers too!
Thank you as always to my members and readers, to purchase this box (you would be mad not to) the links are below…
Mel x
https://www.notjustamumclub.com
https://www.facebook.com/notjustamumclub/
https://www.instagram.com/notjustamumclub/
    Not Just a Mum Club Launch Box Review by Mel – February 2018 I am always excited when I get to be the first to open a newly launched box.
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mixeddoctor · 7 years
Text
The Frozen River, The Wet Tears and a Need for Strength
So today was a hard day. One of the hardest in awhile. My birthday was Monday and he emailed me on the weekend. I hadn’t been able to sleep. In 2 days I had gotten maybe 5 hours. It’s the worst. I’ve always been able to just fall asleep. But now I don’t want to be alone with my thought. I hate to admit that I don’t feel safe with myself alone here. I don’t feel safe in my own mind. Music doesn’t help all the time because it allows too much space for thought. It doesn’t drown anything out. I usually have my Hulu on till i knock out now because I cant think if I’m listening to an episode. The only problem is.... it’s like I’m afraid to sleep. My body finally gets to sleep and I get up and I’m dead tired but my body just goes and I don’t know where the energy comes from. Anyway, I hadn’t slept, I went to school, fell down the stairs on the way, and when I was leaving I got a call from a flower delivery person. I told them I wasn’t home and that I wouldn’t be for a few hours. I thought it was so nice of someone to send me flowers and then I realized that no one ever sends me flowers on my birthday except him (usually they are digital flowers because he never knew where I lived before then) and I asked who they were from and the delivery person said they just deliver so I couldn’t do anything. I got another call from another delivery person from edible arrangements but this time I asked who they were from and they told me it was him (going by my old nickname for him-bastard-that nickname was because he was one of the nicest people... or so I thought). I refused to accept them. I told the man to keep them or give them away because I refuse to accept them. Tat was before class. I felt like crap. The flowers at my door were gorgeous and I hated that I liked them. I hated that he could reach out and affect me in any way. I was angry that I told him not to contact me and he chose to disregard me. He sent it to my house! I kind of laughed it off but I told my 2 friends and my mom. One of my friends suggested I email him just saying to stop contacting me and that its the second time I asked because it needs to be documented in case I need to get a restraining order. I thought it was a good suggestion but decided I wouldn’t respond on my birthday. Couldn’t sleep again though. Had a long day at clinic and on my commute I wrote his email. I sent it to my girls to make sure it was appropriate. I got home and finally was able to sleep after not having slept for what seemed like forever. But I think I only slept 5 hours. I normally would have just slept through the night. And then I sent the email after an adjustment. And looked at my inbox and saw that his mother sent me birthday wishes. The woman is so sweet and in that moment I hated him for not telling her. He told me in one of his 6 or 7 unwanted emails that he had not had the heart to tell her what had happened and when she asked how I was doing he pretended not to hear her and went and cried. I was angry. Every correspondence he sent me either addressed me by an old nickname or like we were still on friendly terms. And then 1/2 of them, maybe more, described what HE was going through. How devastated HE was. His random bouts of crying. Missing me every day. I hated it! Why does he make it sound like HE’S the victim? He’s the victim of the consequences of his own fucking decision to take what I wouldn’t give him sober. An opportunity of a fucking lifetime I guess. And now hes hurt because I refuse to be in his life or have him in mine? Fuck you. FUCK YOU!!! SUCH A SELFISH ASSHOLE! He always prioritized what he wanted over what I wanted, needed, or what was in my best interest. And the worst thing is, if I’m honest, sometimes I’d feel bad for him, for what HE was going through but then I’d just get angry at myself and somehow the anger just allowed me to continue on. But back to his mom. I had met her in person and had helped her out via email and had spoken to her a few times on video chat while he was home or when she visited him. I felt like we had a cute little rapport. And she really is the sweetest woman. So as much as the email was so sweet, I decided in that moment she deserved to know why I wouldn’t be emailing or around after this correspondence. I felt it would be rude not to respond to her despite what her son did to me. So I responded. And then I had the balls he didn’t and told her, not graphically or angrily, but told her that after that email I wont be corresponding with anyone with any ties to him because after what he did it just is not good for my own emotional health and I apologized that the small relationship she and I developed had to suffer from his actions. I also def mentioned that I knows he taught him to be a man of integrity and good moral standing but he disregarded her teachings the night that he did what he did to me. I kind of felt apprehensive about sending it and then was just like screw it. I’m responding. I refuse to make myself look bad and I want to control what information she gets and make sure that he doesn’t claim “a night of drunken sex” or that I just stopped talking to him. I wanted to control what was said. Who was told. And that the truth was told. Maybe that’s a little of me trying to get my power back. A little of the control. Anyway... I sent them both after 1 am so I thought he’d be asleep especially because it’s the beginning of the semester so he has no reason to really be up late so he usually is in bed around midnight. His mom from what I know usually doesn’t sleep late. But know in retrospect, she may have been up and then woken his ass up because I got an email back at almost 3 am. 2:48am to be exact. And I read it. And he said that he never intended to be disrespectful with his correspondence... that he wanted to show that he still cared, that his existence in my life was not all about Sept 30th. That he wanted to be remembered as a man who loved and cared about me despite the fact that he raped me. I was impressed that he said the words. That he owned up to it. He also said he was beyond remorseful because remorse alone does not inspire change. He said that he was so used to sharing his emotions and personal things with me that he just wrote them. He said he wanted to help make my birthday special. And then he got angry because of something he interpreted as sarcastic. And he described how he has such a hard time because he cant just wipe me from his life easily and then implied that I’ve been able to wipe him away from my life and he said maybe I wish that he never existed and that maybe one day ill be able to purge him from my memory but he hopes not and that he hopes that I remember him as a friend who always wanted the best for me. That email fucked me over. I went to sleep trying to drown out my thoughts. Woke up and it was the first time that all I wanted to do was sleep (which happens to be early signs of depression for me) but I had grandrounds. And got out so I could get there on time. But I cried on my commute. Pretty much the whole way. On the bus. On the first train. On the second train. And when I got to the clinic, I went straight to the bathroom so I could just let it out and I must have cried for like 7 min. I had to hurry up and clean up because 1-I’m an ugly crier but 2-my eyes and nose get hella red and I didn’t want anyone to know. But I cried hard. I cried so hard. Because he makes me feel guilty. Like I am hurting him. Like I ruined a good person. And if I’m honest I was so confused at what I wanted to believe. If I believed him, could I still be angry? Was I petty to send that to his mother? Why can he even make me feel guilty? Why is HE the victim in this? Am I that terrible of a person? And then I remembered that I did love him- like he was my best friend. He was with me through med which has been so rough (but if I’m honest part of that has been rough because of him) and we had a very close relationship. Way too close but the attachment was real. And for him to do that to me. For him to take that from me. Because “[He] wanted [me] so bad”. Because he could. Because it was what he wanted. What he fantasized. Why do men who say they love me hurt me. My bio dad, many many of the previous people in my life. And why do I ruin and let down and destroy the good things (not even talking bout him but apart of me feels like he would never have done that had it not been me). Was it really me? Was it really my fault? I know he was wrong but did I push him that far? Why would he do it to me? God I feel dirty. and like a terrible person. I hate him! i Hate him! I hate him! I hate me too. I had so many plans today but I just wanted to lay in bed. I cooked so I kinda felt good but I just wanted to lay down and go to bed but I’M NOT SLEEPY~!!!! God this is not how I wanted to start off 27. I always thought something good would happen to me at 27. But if this is any indication, I’ll just be crying and shutting down. I couldn’t even get through this without breaking down multiple times. I really wanna disappear. I looked at the Potomac on the commute and other bodies of water that were frozen... and thought how that is such a good metaphor to how I feel. Cool and solid on the surface, but below still flowing current of emotions and that every email, every card, the flowers, and even my lack of sleep is like someone throwing a rock to crack the frozen surface. Some places are cracked all the way through until the next day when they freeze right back over. If I could just get through this year... I cant have this this year. Boards are coming up. I haven’t been able to bring myself to study. I just want to sleep and lay in bed and stare at my wall and cry and be buried in the bed. I got such a huge jump on work before class started and I was supposed to be done by yesterday and now its the end of today and I am not closer to where I need to be at all. There’s just more and more things that are piling up and I hate that this is happening. I hate that he is affecting me. I hate that I cant be stronger. Why cant I be stronger. Dear God, it doesn’t have to go away, but can I just please be a little stronger? Any strength sent my way would be greatly appreciated. Please. 
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