#like they went quiet and i honestly got worried thinking that it was gunna be a mike toptap situation

[peachyrainn]

©: @/taimelody on twitter

[echos-newlegs]

Can I request 8 from the list with Tech?

Stop Thinking

Ahh yes!

Tech x Reader: "No, no- I liked it."

Warnings: slight cursing

Tech licked his lips. Squinting with furrowed brows as he looked at himself in the mirror. He was feeling self conscious about himself, and it didn't help you and the others decided to head for 79s. A place full of regs.. Normal clones. Perfect clones. Clones you seemed to get along with as well as you got along with him and his brothers.

"Tech, you about ready?" Your voice called from outside the door, and he felt his breath catch. "I uh, yeah, one second." He called back. Running his fingers through his hair one last time. Then slipping out of the fresher. None of you were dressed fancy. You all had your blacks on and lower armor still attached. The others already waiting outside while you stayed back for Tech.

He looked over to you. You were seated on a chair. Fixing your boots, then straightening up when you saw him trail out. "You feeling okay?" You asked. Looking at his slightly distressed form. Hands trembling a bit. "Yeah, I'm fine." You frowned. You knew he wasn't, but you didn't try and press it.

You stood up, looking up to the taller male with a small smile. "Ready then?" He nodded. You opening the door and heading out of the Marauder. Closing the door behind the two of you. He was quieter than normal as the two of you trailing behind his brothers as they bickered and rambled.

You were concerned to say the least. "It's really nice tonight, " you tried to start a conversation and he looked over. Nodding a bit. He was thankful you were trying. His mind was wandering, degrading every little thing about himself. "It really is, the stars are beautifully aligned, too." He commented, and you smiled. Looking up as the five of you went to get a cab.

You and Tech had to take a separate one. The ride was quiet, but it wasn't awkward. You were relaxed and he felt a little better just with you. You never once treated him differently for being defective. You treated him with the same respect you did other clones. If anything, you were a bit nicer to him than most. Always holding conversations, smiling his way, or going out of your way to help him. It always made his day a little brighter. Especially on days like these.

"You gunna dance with me?" You asked as you both approached 79's. You've only danced with him once. It was when you were both pretty buzzed, he was actually drunker than you. Which was a shock, but you never forgot it. It was one of the best nights of your life, and by the way he smiled fondly and his cheeks tinted pink. You were sure he at least remembered a bit of it. "Sure," you giggled a bit at that.

You walked out of the cab. Tech waiting for you to catch up with him. Two of you walking in to see the rest of the gang towards the back where they normally sat. You were going to head back there, but was stopped by the 104th. "Y/n!" Comet and Sinker nearly screamed as they ran over to you. Making you smile and snicker. Giving Tech a small glance as if to say you would join him in a bit. It didn’t take him long to disband from your side and head for the others.

You could practically feel who you assumed was Crosshair glaring daggers into the back of your skull for the five minutes you were talking to the troopers. You were just catching up, it was harmless. Or at least that’s what you thought.

“Sorry, I’m back,” you spoke with a small laugh as you sat at the booth the bad batch took over as theirs. “Welcome!” Wrecker chirped. Shoving you lightly with a snicker, and you snickered back. Eyes moving to Hunter and Crosshairs. “What..?” You spoke with a bit of a frown. “Why were you talking to them?” Cross spat, and you sighed. “Cross, I used to work for the 104th, I’m not about to ignore them. How’d you feel if I got assigned another troop and I just straight up ignored you guys?” You spat back. You noticed Hunters expression changed. He seemed to change his view point on it all, but Crosshair just scoffed.

“We should just enjoy our drinks-“ “Can it, Tech,” Cross sneered, and his eyes moved back to yours. Leaning over the table, but you didn’t back up. “They’re regs, we don’t talk to them, what part of that do you not understand?” It was your turn to lean in now. Furrowing your brow. “What part of you don’t run my life do you not understand?” You snarled. Smacking your hands on the table and standing.

“Wait, where are you going?” Wrecker asked, and you didn’t even turn to answer. “The bar.” Tech sat there and sighed. Head in hands. “They mean no harm and you know it,” “Tech we know as good as you that you feel insecure when she talks with the Regs.” Tech snapped his attention to his brother. Frown forming on his face. Nostrils flaring, “You don’t know bantha shit,” he snapped, and headed off to the bar as well.

It was nights like these he wished he was normal. Kriff, he loved his brothers, but their attitudes were always too stern and glum. He needed change, so he decided to accompany you at the bar with Comet, Sinker, Boost, Wolffe, and a few other troopers.

You noticed him approaching, smiling, but then frowning a bit. “If you came to drag me back to the table I won’t. I’m not letting Crosshairs petty attitude ruin my night.” He shook his head, fingers fiddling with the armor on his thighs. “No, I came to join you, actually.” Your smiled returned. Shoving Comet with a grin. “Move over, Tech sits by me!” Comet grumbled a bit, but did as told. “Yes, Sir,” he spoke and you rolled your eyes with a toothy grin.

“Alright Tech, this is Comet, Sinker, and Boost, that over there is Wolffe.” Everyone but Wolffe waved. “Don’t let him scare you off, he’s actually quite enjoyable.” You informed Tech with a grin. Shooting Wolffe a wink, which made the commander roll his eyes. Lips curled just shy of a smile. “Everyone, this is Tech, a good friend of mine.” He knew it shouldn’t, but you addressing him as a friend and not a coworker made his chest bubble with joy. Smiling as the others waved and welcomed him.

You, Tech, and The Wolfpack all participated in some drinking games with one another. One of them was ‘take a shot each time you could make Wolffe roll his eyes, two if he rolled his head and eyes.’ Though after some time you all moved to a different one since the buzz was hitting and Sinker was singing ‘Sweet Caroline,’ in a near scream.

You were laughing and enjoying yourself, and Tech spent most of the time looking over and studying your face. The way your nose scrunched up when you scolded one of the troopers, jokingly. The way your eyes nearly closed when you were laughing at a joke. Or even just the way your smile never seemed to faulter. This is what he wanted. He wanted an environment like this. One with you happy constantly. Where you weren’t scolding his brothers for something stupid. Or even himself. He began to wonder if you should transfer back to the 104th, or another legion in general.

His thoughts got the best of him again. Zoning out as he played with an empty shot glass on the counter. Coming back to when you nudged his side. “Hm?” “You good, Tech?” You asked, and his eyes widened. Realizing he was zoned out. He nodded, forcing a smile. “Yeah uh, yeah I’m fine. I just uhm.. need some air, is all.” He spoke, turning in the chair and heading off to the doors. You weren’t about to let this slide any longer.

You jumped off your stool, heading for the door with him. Catching it before it closed. The music still able to be heard outside the door once shut. “Hey, what’s wrong?” You asked, watching him turn around with a near hurt expression. “Don’t lie, either, I know you aren’t okay, I’ve been working around you long enough to know that.” You spoke. Approaching him a bit closer. You watched as he caved in. You could see it by the way he seemed to slump forward. His light eyes seeming to shatter. Worrying at his bottom lip.

“Y/n?..” he spoke, and you tilted your head a bit. “What is it, Techy?” You didn’t use that nickname on him much. Mainly only for your ears to hear. You weren’t sure of it at first, but he seemed to take a liking to it. Tech closing his eyes and sighing at the nickname. Then slowly opening them again. “I don’t think you belong with us.” He told you, and you furrowed your brows. He could tell his words hurt you, and he knew they would. “What?” Your voice wavered a bit. “I don’t mean it in anything against you, Kriff. You’re absolutely perfect, but you just seem so much happier with the 104th.” He told you. “I want what’s best for you, and well,” he chuckled, beginning to pace in front of you. “Quite honestly we aren’t the best. We’re stubborn, hard to work with, and quite un-enjoyable half the times.”

You folded your arms over your chest. “And you think the Wolfpack is any better? Did you see Wolffe? His scold is worse than Hunter and Crosshairs combined, and he holds a grudge as long, and if not longer than all of you. Then Sinker? Boost? Comet? For stars sake they’re a handful, they’re crazy, and chaotic, and Tech. What I’m trying to say is every clone unit has its flaws. No matter what. Whether it be the commander, Captain, General, Arc Trooper, whoever. There’s flaws in everyone.” You told him.

He stopped his pacing. Watching you as you told your spew, “and honestly, Tech. You aren’t in the authority to tell me what is good for me. I enjoy you all, even if I disagree with you all at times. I don’t expect a perfect troop. We’re in a war for makers sake,” you spoke, and noticed him shift at the mention of the war. “I enjoy all of you. Tech.. I enjoy you.” His eyes lit up at that. Then he looked back down.

“I’m not like them though, I’m blind, I can’t see without.. Without these,” he tapped his goggles. “I’m tan, sure, but I’m lighter than even my brothers and.. I stand out, and I hate it, y/n,” he rubbed the back of his neck with a sigh. “I feel like I’m not good enough,” your heart shattered into a million tiny pieces at his words. Stepping closer. Pausing when he seemed to tense. Reaching out to place your hands on his shoulders as if to ground him as you looked up to him.

You just stood there, watching his eyes look over yours for a moment. Searching for an answer, like he always was. “Tech, stop thinking.” He furrowed his brow. “You’re overthinking all of this, you’re good enough, in my eyes you are.” You told him. Watching as he seemed to relax under your touch. Hands running up to rest on the sides of his neck. Thumbs rubbing his exposed skin. Making him shudder. “I don’t care if you’re different,or that you need glasses. Tech, you’re absolutely perfect to me. You’re brilliant, handsome, and a fucking badass.” You both snickered at that. Techs fingers tapping at his thighs.

“Thank you,” you smiled and nodded. “‘Course.” The both of you standing there for a second. Taking in the moment and the touch of one another. Then you made a move that you immediately blamed on the booze. Pressing a quick kiss to his lips, and he froze up. Eyes widening. “Sorry I-“ you blurted, taking a step back. Pulling your hands from the base of his neck, but he caught them with his. His hands carefully holding yours. “No no- I liked it,” he assured, and you both smiled. Cheeks tinted pink. “Well..” you hummed, “you still up for that dance?” He chuckled and nodded. “Always.”

[weareallstoriesintheend]

A writing request: Protective Clyde rescues reader from a guy being a little too handsy at the bar. Makes sure reader gets home safely. Super fluff/protective Clyde. Maybe ends with a 'thank you' kiss on the cheek. Annnddd I'm already crying thinking about you writing this

Safe & Sound (Reader x Clyde Logan) 

Note: For you @ladyinwriting18? Anything! 🥰

Part 1 of the Safe & Sound Series. Here is Part 2 & 3

Warnings: Creepy misogynistic bullshit. But also the fluffiest of fluff!  

Words: 2,407 

Smutty Part 2 - HERE

The smell of whiskey breath ghosting over your face made your stomach turn. You were just trying to have a quiet drink at the ‘Duck Tape’ after a long day at work and all of a sudden you were having your evening ruined by some overbearing guy with half a bottle of dutch courage behind him. “Seriously, I’m okay thank you” you said politely, trying to catch the eye of anyone who could get this guy off you. You were not one to be polite to guys that harass you usually but something about this guy’s overly aggressive lean towards you had put you on edge. All sorts of images and scenarios were flashing through your mind and your heart was starting to hammer in your chest. But just like always, just like you were taught from the time you can walk, you played it off by smiling sweetly and being as polite as possible. Annoyingly you’d chosen to sit in the back corner of the bar tonight so you had nowhere to go but past him. Your dress was high up on your thigh and you tried, subtly, to pull it down.   “Nah, come on sweetheart” he said with a smirk, flicking your long hair off your shoulder dragging his fingers purposely along your skin as he does it “Let me buy you a drink” You went to speak again, hoping to brush him off but the panic in you was rising. The feeling of his skin on yours had triggered something within you, you fidgeted your hands over each other on the bar top to stop them trembling. You looked up at him, mustering up that fake sweet smile again, turning to grab your jacket to leave – figuring this was the only way to get him to leave you alone – before you heard someone else speak.

“I’m goin’ to have to ask you to leave” you heard the deep drawl before you looked up. Clyde Logan was sidling his way across to where you were sat in the corner, the light of the bar was behind him like an aura. Your lumbering guardian angel. Honestly you’d never paid too much attention to him, he was just… Clyde. He’d been around forever except for when you’d returned from college and found out he was off in Iraq. Clyde was just the big grumpy bartender who made a mean vodka cranberry for you every Friday night; the same grumpy bartender who always slipped in an extra lime because he knew you liked it. You gave him a relieved smile as you caught his eye; he instantly turned his attention back to the guy leaning against you as he piped up once more. “Oh come on Clyde, I was only havin’ a bit of fun” he slurred, giving him a hacking laugh before slipping his hand up your arm and onto your shoulder. You instantly tensed up, skin crawling as you could feel the sweat drip from his forehead on your bare shoulder as he propped himself against you. “Oh I’m sure ya are. But see, I don’t think she finds it very fun do you darlin’?” Clyde said looking at you out the corner of his eye and you shook your head. “Now I’m asking ya to leave cause you’re making my customers uncomfortable. I’m damn sure this woman, nice as she is, doesn’t want your hands all over her now does she?” You shook your head again and the guy looked at you, having the audacity to scoff in offense at your response before turning back to Clyde with a grin. But Clyde kept talking “Her shakin’ her head there? That’s her sayin’ no. Got that? So I’m goin’ to ask you one more time to get off her. Look at her… sweet like a little bird she is, she don’t need your big greasy paws all over her like that” The drunk guy sneered and jostled your shoulders in a jovial way, trying to show Clyde how you were at ease you supposed, and you felt his metal watch strap nick your skin at the back of your neck and you hissed softly at the pain. There was a sudden thud and you looked down; Clyde had grabbed the guy’s free arm that was resting on the bar with his flesh hand. He gave it a sudden tug and the guy gave a high-pitched yelp as he was pulled closer to Clyde and off you. “I said… I’m goin’ to have to ask you to leave” Clyde repeated. You knew sweet, quiet Clyde could have a temper when he needed one; you’d seen him strong-arm a few guys out on their asses a few times over the years. You’d always quietly admired how sturdy and wide his body looked, comfortable and yet solid. So when he did things like that you’d silently sip your drink, pretending you weren’t watching his bicep bulge under his long-sleeved shirt as he grabbed the guy by the scruff of the neck or twist their arm behind their back and haul them out the bar. Another bar patron, an older guy, was walking past this little scene and shot the drunk guy a knowing look before giving his input “Now Billy! Logan here’s got two tours under his belt. Show the guy some respect. Make yourself scarce, come on” Clyde shoo’d this new guy off with a tilt of his head and the guy threw his hands up in surrender before walking away. Billy let out another hacking laugh that made you flinch slightly in your seat, it was full of contempt and far too much confidence for a man in his position “What do you think ya goin’ to do Logan? One arm freak ain’t gunna do nothin’ to me!” “I think you’ll find that I still have my arm, just my forearm and hand that’s missin’. I still got enough to break this arm of yours in three places if you don’t leave this beautiful young lady alone” “Oh I see, Little Logan got a crush” Billy grinned cockily at him, spittle was flying out of his mouth as he slurred and it made you cringe as you saw it landing on Clyde’s dark blue shirt. You started to panic again, you didn’t know what Clyde was going to do next and you shot him a look. You didn’t want him to get himself in trouble for you and after everything that had had happened at the speedway you worried that one little thing would get the cops on

his ass again. He caught your panicked expression and gave you a contemplative pout before turning his head back to Billy. He dragged Billy a little closer so he was bent uncomfortably; you could see his belt cutting deep into his side, pressed into him by the wood of the bar. He was flinching and groaning in Clydes strong grasp, when Clyde spoke he was close to his face and his voice was a low, slow and dangerously calm growl “Now somethin’ tell me this precious, good woman here wants me to spare you the pain I was plannin’ on givin’ ya, kind as she is. So I’m goin’ to let you go but if I ever see you so much as look at her again I’ll show you what two tours in Iraq teaches ya. Got it?” You watched as Billy quickly gathered up his jacket that was hanging haphazardly from the chair he had been sitting on and skitter out the bar like a dog with its tail between its legs. Clyde gave you a pouty but satisfied nod before calmly going back to washing glasses.

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The bar was closing in around an hour so Clyde made you another drink, extra lime as always, to steel your nerves. As he walked around, picking up after people and saying goodnight to the stragglers he kept a close eye on you. Always looking back over his shoulder to where you were sat. You smiled every time he looked at you, several times you thought about getting up to leave for the night but he always caught your eye and something in his look made you sip your drink a little slower. Maybe you should stick around.

“He didn’t hurt you or nothing did he?” Clyde said in a low voice so the last people that were leaving couldn’t hear him. Part of you wondered if he was embarrassed to be helping you but then you realised, as he turned his body to literally shield you from the gaze of the rest of the patrons in the bar, he was protecting your privacy. “No Clyde, I’m fine thank you” you smiled, brushing your dress down awkwardly trying to ease the tension. Clyde was a man of few words usually but he made up for it in the intensity of his stare and right now that stare was focussed purely on you. His eyes roamed over you and it made a heat rise up on the back of your neck. He made a grunting noise, almost to himself, and he leaned over the bar to fetch a napkin. He turned the tap on that was over the small bar sink and dipped the napkin under the running water. You gave him a look, raising your eyebrow in question and he nodded to you shoulder. You looked down and noticed a small trail of dried blood running down your shoulder from where the guy had cut you with his watch. “Can I touch ya? Is that okay?” he asked, eyes soft and concerned as he studied you. You nodded shyly and he leant forward and wiped the napkin over your skin gently. You watched his hand carefully, the huge size of it compared to your arm making you bite back a giggle. The cold of his horseshoe ring brushing lightly against your skin made you break into goosebumps. He dabbed and patted to make sure he got it all wiped away “There ya go, all cleaned up” He gave your arm a stroke with his thick knuckles, like he was doubly making sure you were all squared away. Clyde Logan didn’t smile very much, you always thought his signature grumpy pout was actually quite endearing, but in this moment as you gazed up at him he gave you the smallest, most tender smile and you couldn’t help but grin back at him. “You don’t have to take care of me you know?” you whispered, he shook his head as he hopped up on the bar and swung himself back over. “Well of course I do, pretty little thing like you shouldn’t have to deal with assholes like that!” You gave him a small push to his chest that barely moved him “You stop that!” you laughed, he chuckled as you dipped your head down, letting your hair hide the growing blush on your cheeks. “I only speak the truth darlin’” he said turning to wander over to the cash register “Give me 2 minutes to check todays takins’ and I’ll drive ya home” You scoffed and dropped off your high bar stool onto your feet “You really don’t need to do that, I’m sure that guy is long gone” “Well I can’t just let ya go home on your on now can I? What kind of gentleman would I be if I did that?” he said, you swear you saw him smirk to himself and he pushed his hip into the cash register to close it. He turned to you, swinging his jacket off the hook on the wall and around his shoulders. “Oh Clyde, you’re sweet but I’ll be okay” You stepped forward as you spoke and helped him pull his jacket over his prosthetic arm “Really! I don’t live too far, you know that! It’s only a mile round the corner I can walk it” You flushed at his forwardness and unexpected level of care he was showing you. The heat was rising up on the fact of your neck again and you couldn’t quite decide if it was embarrassment or something a little more intimate. “Nonsense, I won’t hear another word on the matter” he shot you another smile; you quite liked this more relaxed Clyde. There was something about that shy smile that made you accept his offer with a small nod. “Perfect. Let me grab my keys and I’ll drive ya”

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You hopped down out of his truck as he opened the passenger door for you, which he had insisted on doing; he’d even held out his prosthetic arm for you to use to steady yourself as you dropped unsteadily onto your driveway. You’d thanked him quietly and he’d responded “Nothing but the best for the princess” making you giggle and elbow his side jokingly. You both wandered down the driveway in comfortable silence, nothing but crickets and the crunch of gravel beneath both your shoes.

“Safe and sound now aren’t ya” he said, tapping your front door absentmindedly with his knuckle, watching you wrestle your keys out of your bag. You chuckled and nodded, before you could give yourself a second to overthink it you pitched up on your tip toes, pulling him down slightly with your a small hand on his wide shoulder, and placed a timid kiss to his cheek. “Thank you Clyde” you whispered. You giggled slightly as a noticeable pink blush bloomed across his cheeks and he shook his head and stuttered “N-no thanks necessary sweetheart”

You put your key in the lock and he turned to leave with a courteous nod goodnight. As you pushed open the door breathing out a tightly held in sigh, suddenly thankful to be in the comfort of your own home, you heard him say your name. You spun to see him a few feet away from you, rocking on his heels slightly “Come by the bar tomorrow night? I’ll make you another one of those cranberry drinks you like and…I’d errr… I’d love to see ya”

Now it was your turn to blush, you hoped he couldn’t see it in the shadow of your doorway

“I’d love too. See you then” you replied, giving him a small wave before going inside.

Maybe you should have paid more attention to the big grumpy bear behind the bar because it turns out, he’s rather sweet.

[ayakamiyuiii]

Hello everyone!! <33 -i know it's been awhile since i last wrote, i've been really brain dead Recently, and i'm not Sure on what too write about-  i've really been thinking about Scaramouche Angst for awhile, So heads up, The Following may get pretty Upsetting huhuh- // TW! ~Mentions of Su!c!d3, Hurtful strong words Ehm it's gunna be pretty upsetting huhuh so im sorry for the followingg TT // i hope your all ok! :)) i hope your all doing ok <3 i hope you guys are taking care!, remember i love you all so muchhhh :DD mhmhm, let's get onto it then huhuh <3.-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Your Boyfriend, Scaramouche. One of the Many Strongest Harbingers. He's Usually Busy out, Never getting time with you, Of course.. as he was your boyfriend, you really wished you two could have alone time, //Even tho most times you try talk about it to him it goes downhill, leading to a huge Argument.. You two were on and off to be Absolutely Honest. "GOD FUCKING DAMNIT Y/N! YOUR DRIVING ME INSANE, WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT FROM ME??” ..Another argument, “i-..” “WHAT? SPIT IT THE FUCK OUT” “Scara- c-calm down..” “CALM DOWN? CALM FUCKING DOWN? DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU JUST DID??? GOD I FUCKING HATE YOU Y/N L/N! I FUCKING HATE YOU. I WISH YOU WERE DEAD.”

“Ouch..”

That hurt, you thought to yourself, “maybe.. i shoulda killed myself huh..im no use to anyone anymore am i?..” .. You were Kicked out of the once shared place you lived in, with only limited a day to come back and get your stuff, Honestly, You werent that surprised anymore, you knew it’d come to this sooner or later, You had to think pretty quick.. there was no where for you to stay anyways. Worse to worse.. you would just make some shelter in the wilderness and see how everything goes from there. 

it’s been about a month or two since what’d happened back at Scara’s house. You soon found yourself walking to places you’d been out with him, Hoping to not see him anywhere at all, To your Misfortune, as you were walking to the garden you first took him out to, You saw him there, ..with Another girl, Your heart had shattered even more, your eyes becoming even Deader, You just Walk by hoping he doesn’t notice you. you heard your name in the Distance, it was Childe, “whatever the fuck does this ginger want?..” you mutter to yourself.. of course from how loud he was you were really really hoping Scaramouche heard nothing.

“What’d you want you ginger?” you said once he caught up to you “I know your not ok Y/n, Do you wanna come over to my place and talk about it?” He says. scaramouche had heard everything, “no thanks im good i have to go now anyways.” you say, “why’re you going? i could walk ya there” “umm i’m going home, but i guess you could walk me there.” In the Distance, Scara’s eyes widened, He followed far behind. “-Ok we’re here you can go now, thanks Tartaglia,” You say. “wait, what- i dont see a house y/n whats the meaning of this?” “oh um *you pointed to a small tent you had made overtime* Home” both his and Scaramouche’s Eyes Widened, “What the fuck do you mean ‘home’ That- looks so Uncomfortable!” “well i’ve grown quiet used to it now, Most nights im lucky actually! the Abyss Mages leave me alone at times, i still have my bow if i need to go hunting everythings perfect, i- i even have a cat”.

“Y/n, This isint a Home, Listen do you need help? can i help you at all?” He says sounding really upset, “No Tartaglia, i Appreciate you trying to help but everythings perfect now, you can go now.” -As you were trying to get this huge ginger leave, Scaramouche who heard everything felt guilt, though he had left quick, apposing to not get caught. You had finally pleaded this Man to go, it was getting late you Decided to go hunting, You were pretty powerless, meaning you could die at any moment really. tho you went hunting anyways, ..you’d gotten some Boar, tho you were oh so tired, of course there was nothing you could do really.

its been five months, You still haven’t moved on from him, but you were happy he got someone much better than you in his life. By chance you had passed him while heading to the lake for bathing.. he held your arm and pulled you “Y/n.. your coming with me.” You were Shaken of course, what the hell is going on?? you stay Silent and obey, knowing he could damn well kill you at that moment, though your nerves started tensing up. You were Scared of what this mans planning to do to you, You were Basically Trembling in fear. “You brat, You fucking brat.” you were looking at the ground, Hesitating to look him in the face. “LOOK AT ME WHEN IM SPEAKING TO YOU GOD FUCKING DAMNIT” tears started pouring, you didnt want to look at him, tho you tilted your head up. “S-Sir, yessir.” You then started looking at him trying to force yourself to stop crying, aswell as throwing hurtful words to yourself. “So sorry sir, What can i do for you sir?” His eye’s Had Widened at this.

“You never told me you had no where to fucking go, maybe if you fucking told me i could have arranged something bloody brat.” “So sorry sir, My Mistake, it’s Ok Sir, You have a new life now, without a Peasant like me, you don’t need to worry or even have a thought of me sir, you should carry on with your day as i’ll carry on with mine.”

you couldnt stop sobbing, but you gave him a light smile and a bow before heading to the lake, He just stood there in shock. “so did they see me with? ...” he thought to himself, he heard your sobs, of course. But said nothing, At this point he was out of your Sight. you wipe your eyes, no matter how much you wipe the more tears pour, you try forget about the encounter anyways, it really hurt you of how easily he was able to replace you. But you couldn’t Do nothing, you just let it happen. it was pretty late and you were drying off, setting for home, You had some mora.. You Decided to buy a small meal,-

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------HDSHJD  ANYWaYS! Thats end of part one E- i need more idea’s haksjhdjs i know this wasnt good at all, but i absolutely triedd!! <33 -nyways, i’ll make part two as soon as i get more ideas! hehehsdjh ilyasm takecaree cya laterrrrr <33333

[stanbillyhargrove]

Demons -The Rewrite

Chapter 20: Beauty In Death

A/N: Sorry for the delay everyone!

Billy's POV

It’s been weeks since I found Cat in Steve’s house, wearing his clothes. Weeks since I lost control and I could still hear Cat screaming when things got too quiet. Every day that I saw her I wanted so badly to scoop her up into my arms and carry her away to shower her in apologies and beg, beg on my fucking knees if I had to, for her to forgive me. But I was a fucking chicken and I couldn’t bring myself to even look at her without feeling my heart break a little bit more. I needed her to forgive me but I couldn’t stop thinking of the bruise on Steve’s neck and I wasn’t sure if I needed her forgiveness or her apology more.

I had hoped to make things right by taking her to the dance but Neil had squashed those plans like a bug.

“Billy!” Max called, “phone!”

I rolled off my bed with a huff, stomach twisting with the slight hope that it would be Cat on the phone even though I knew it wouldn't be.

“Hello?”

“Hargrove? Listen-”

“Fuck off, Harrington,” I growled, slamming the phone back into the cradle.

I barely made it out of the living room before the phone was ringing again.

I spun on my heel and grabbed the phone, “what?”

“Billy, you gotta-”

I hung up on Steve again and looked at Max, lounging on the couch, “Hargrove calls again, tell him to fuck off. I’m not answering.”

Max nodded as I left the room and I heard her answer the phone as I flopped onto my bed again.

Not fifteen minutes later, I heard a car pull into the driveway, skidding to a quick stop. But Neil and Susan weren’t supposed to be home for a few hours at least. Max answered the door and cautiously walked into my room, hands twisting in front of her.

“Maxine,” I grumbled, “what do you want?”

She breathed out before answering, “I told him you didn’t want to talk, Billy. Just like you asked but..well..he’s at the door.”

I arched an eyebrow at her, “who are you talking about?”

“Steve. Steve’s here, Billy. Says he needs to talk to you, it’s important.”

I huffed, rolling my eyes, “tell him to fuck off.”

She stepped closer to me, frowning, “Billy, maybe you should see what he wants. He’s not gunna leave.”

I groaned, rolling my eyes as I stood up and stormed to the front door, squaring my shoulders and clenching my jaw when I saw Steve in the door frame.

“The fuck you doing here, Harrington? I didn’t fuck up your face good enough the first time?”

Steve looked at me with a huff, the bruises on his face a stark contrast against his skin, “shut up. Is she here?”

"She?"

"Cat!" He snapped, "is she here?"

"No, she's not."

"Fuck," he muttered, turning away.

“What? She get bored of you already?” I sneered.

Steve bristled and turned back to me, his jaw ticking, “Billy. Just...it’s important. Have you talked to her? Or seen her at all?”

My eyebrows knit together, “no, Steve, I haven’t talked to her since your house.”

“Fuck!” Steve yelled again, turning to stalk back to his car.

I followed him down the front steps, confused, “Harrington, stop. What’s going on?”

He spun around and it hit me just how stressed he was, how the darkness under his eyes was from more than just the bruises.

“She’s missing.”

“What are you talking about?” I huffed, crossing my arms across my chest, “she was at school.”

“Yeah, yesterday. But she wasn’t at the dance last night."

"So? She must have skipped it."

He shook his head, "no, she...she wanted to go, before..everything. And she wasn't at school today either. Her car is gone."

“Probably went around town. Doesn’t mean she’s missing.”

Steve took a few steps back towards me, “no, you don’t understand-”

“Gettin' real fucking sick of hearing I don’t understand, Steve,” I growled, “just fucking tell me what’s going on.”

Steve pinched the bridge of his nose, groaning to himself, “she, I….fuck, I’m worried she hurt herself.”

“What do you mean? Hurt herself, how?”

Steve puffed out his cheeks with a long exhale, “I, it’s not-”

I stepped up to him, muscles tensing under my skin, “quit fucking around, Steve. What the fuck are you talking about?”

“She hurt herself, bad, real fucking bad, man…and I, I had to, to save her,” Steve was tripping over his words, his whole body shaking as tears formed in his eyes, “she was bleeding and, and it was on me, and I can’t stop th-thinking about if I hadn’t…if I hadn’t fucking kicked her out cause I was mad at you!” Steve spat, jabbing me in the chest.

I stepped back, unable to get a word in, and not wanting to add fuel to the break down he was having in my driveway.

“She fucking tried to kill herself because of you! And I saved her life, again! I fucking saved her and what the fuck have you done? You fucking punched her!”

My jaw ticked, fingers starting to get that familiar itching, “only cause she got in the way! She shouldn’t have been there in the first place!”

He glared at me while the full weight of what he said registered in my brain, “wait, she…she tried to kill herself?”

A few tears started to pour down Steve’s face and he angrily wiped them away, “twice. Well she said the first time was an accident but…Billy, I cleaned up her blood. Made her puke up pills. I told her I couldn’t do that again, it was just too much, and now I can’t find her, I was being a selfish asshole and what if she..?”

Steve’s words felt like knives in my chest, twisting my guts up tight, “twice? Why didn’t she…why didn’t she come to me?”

He shrugged, "I don't know.”

I looked around, wiping my hand on my face, “Harrington, let’s talk about it inside.”

Steve shook his head, “no, no, I can’t.. I-I gotta, I need to find her. I need to know she's okay."

“Well then get in my car, you’re not gunna find her if you hit the ditch cause you’re too busy fucking crying.”

Steve wiped his eyes before he walked over to the Camaro, collapsing in the front seat with a huff. I got in after him, my heart trying to pound it’s way out of my chest and swallowed the knot forming in my throat. I couldn’t stop thinking of all the times I had crawled through her window, when she had held me in shaking arms and comforted me when I was bruised and beaten down.

Why hadn’t she told me something was wrong?

Why hadn't I noticed?

“Where all have you looked?” I asked, backing out of the driveway.

“Her house and mine, I was hoping she came here,” he muttered, more tears rolling down his panicked face.

“Okay, calm down, we’ll check again. Maybe she went out for something.”

“Yeah,” he mumbled, “okay, yeah, maybe.”

When we couldn’t find Cat at Steve’s or her house, Steve was ready to explode. He was about to lose his damn mind and honestly, the only thing keeping me in check was the fact that I wasn’t about to break down in front of Steve. But my mind was starting to wander with all the possibilities now too.

“Where else, Steve?”

He just shook his head, “only other place I thought of was your house. What if…what if she’s-”

“Don’t. Don’t you fucking dare say it Harrington,” I growled.

He looked at me, his face taken over by big glassy eyes, “what if she’s gone?”

I bit the inside of my cheek, knuckles tightening on the steering wheel until they turned white as I drove us back to my place, not acknowledging what he said.

When we got there I jogged up to the door, yelling as soon as it opened, “Max!”

She came running out of her room, “yeah? What’s going on?”

“Has Cat been here?” I asked, trying to push down my panic even further, grind it into the floor.

She looked confused, “no, why?” Max looked past me at Steve’s puffy face, “why does he look so much worse than earlier? Did you guys fight again?”

I shook my head, “he’s been crying all over my car. We can’t find Cat, we’re just worried about her. She might be hurt, are you sure she hasn’t come by or tried to call?”

Max shook her head, “no, sorry, Billy. I haven’t seen her.”

Steve cursed behind me as I put a hand on her shoulder, gave it a little squeeze before ushering Steve into the kitchen, out of the doorway before he made another scene.

Steve was tense, his whole body shaking like he was feeling that itch to put his fist through something. I squared my shoulders, bracing myself for an outburst, a flurry of fists.

“Steve, listen-”

“No! You listen, asshole! She’s out there somewhere and I, we failed her. We left her alone and now, now we might not see her again! And you,” he jabbed a finger at my chest, “the last thing you did was call her a whore and maybe broke her ribs! And you don’t even care!”

His words hurt more than punches, spiking my anger.

"I care!"

Steve scoffed, “yeah, sure.”

I turned back to him, surged forward to grab his collar and crowded him against the counter, “you really believe I kicked your ass cause I don’t care about her? I fucking love her and I haven’t been able to look at her since then cause I’m so fucking pissed at myself! And her! If you weren’t running around with her behind my back, this wouldn’t have happened!”

Steve tried to shove me away but I stayed still, rooted to the ground in front of him.

"You weaseled in and tried to steal my girlfriend! Then you come here, demand my help and accuse me of not caring? If you just wanna fight, let's fucking cut the bullshit and fight!"

Steve leaned away from me, as much as he could with the counter right behind him, “I didn’t come here to fight..that’s not what happened.”

“Then enlighten me, Harrington, cause I still don’t see why you were the one she went to instead of me.”

Steve sighed and looked down towards the floor, “I don’t know why she didn’t talk to you, Billy. I told her to all the time, but she didn’t want to tell me either, I found out on accident after that first party when girls were getting drugged and she just trusted me after.”

I backed up, looking at him confused, “she mentioned that party a few times, but she told me it just freaked her out. Her mom said a girl got brought in to the hospital."

He shook his head and looked back up at me, “there was more than one.”

“More than one…?”

@charmed-asylum

[fuck-customers]

Oh my god I’m livid. Tell me what you think because frankly I’ve got PTSD from my last job and I get bad anxiety quick when shit like this happens. Here we go;

Two weeks ago on a Friday, my sup was asking me about why I wanted to be a lead. I think I shared the quick version a while ago because I was so angry about it. But here’s a bit more detail. I was on my lunch, sitting in the manger’s cubicle while he was in a meeting because I’m tight with him and wanted to be alone. Supervisor comes over who at the time I had no problems with and we had a good working relationship. She asks me why I want to move up to lead and potential supervisor, and I tell how I genuinely like helping people and when sup or manager aren’t around my team members ask me how to handle something or fix something on an account.

She makes a big point how she’s not seeing this and she wants me to be more assertive. I ask plainly “Are you sure? I don’t want to step on toes and once I get the green light I’m going to be myself and on the ball, I don’t want to do anything that would cause me problems with us.”

She is all smiles and says it’s fine, she knows I’m ‘Sassy’ !? And she’s a big girl she can handle if I answer a question. Okay cool.

Well, while we were having this conversation, one of my co-workers is eavesdropping and starts throwing a literal fit. Keep in mind this is a call center type job, we’re the billing department. There isn’t a huge amount of down time and we take up to 500 calls a day, she wasn’t on break, she literally took herself out of the in take for calls to LISTEN INTO THIS PRIVATE CONVO WHILE IM SITTING IN THE MANAGER’S CUB. Also we were being quiet!!

So by the point that this bitch starts throwing a fit, my lunch is close to over and I was switching departments for some additional training (thank you manager!) and so I went and thought nothing of it. WELL, one of my team member comes to me VISIBLY upset and tells me that the bitch coworker and the supervisor are talking shit about me and the bitch is saying how she’s been here longer she shouldn’t have to fight for a higher position. And the sup was AGREEING with her and how she’s got her back!?

Well ever since my supervisor has been on a rampage with me. And I did what asked, about showing I’m assertive? Yeah she GRABBED MY ARM and squeezed it in front the person who was asking for help, not specifically for the supervisor mind you, she was somewhere behind me and other teams know i know my shit for billing and this guy came to ask a quick question. She grabs me interrupts us and says everything I just explained and then demands he send her the acct and she’ll fix it. Once dude leaves she turns to me in front of everybody and says “I don’t appreciate you doing my job.” And walks off.

Well minus the bitch my entire team is up in arms over this. Demanded I go straight to the manager, I agreed but manager was in meetings all week for the new quarter so I told them to calm down and I’d handle it later. The rest of the week was anxiety filled as supervisor raves about the bitch coworker getting her first 100 on her QA, one of my coworkers who has a mouth looks at her and asked “Oh you mean like (my name) gets all the time? I don’t hear you say anything about that!” And then the bitch and sup try to gang up on me about a note left on an account because it goes by initials and they ASSUMED they were mine. Like wtf the sup should know my initials I’m on her team! But I had to PROVE my initials were not the ones on the note by pulling up my info for her. If I do end up needing to ask a question I’m flat out of luck, sup snaps and states I should know this by now. She snapped at me when my computer crashed acting as though I did this on purpose. Keep in mind this sup can’t handle anything you throw at her, has physical reactions like punching a chair over a bad call or refuses to take a sup call.

At this point I’m just begging the team to calm down, I go to the unofficial supervisor (everything but the title that he honestly deserves) about it and he is pissed says if I don’t take care of it he will. So I did go to the manager when he got back. Again I know it sounds fishy but I’m tight with my manager, we hang out after work and I try to not bring problems to him since it’ll look like favoritism and I want to get promoted on my own merit here. But I went and detailed everything. Of course my manager is pissed and he tells me I should have come to him sooner so he could nipped this in the butt last week, he said even if he was in meetings to email him about it. He made to email him anyways and write a detailed summary of everything that happened and he said not to worry about and let me have my anxiety induced crying fit before I went back to work. Ultimately I went home for the day because the bitch kept getting involved when someone asked me a question and told everyone that if they needed anything to come to her. Look I keep my head down for a reason, my team doesn’t want me to, I don’t brag and I come in drink my tea and leave for the day without making a peep if I can. This is ridiculous, it’s childish. I’ve got my own shit going on outside of work. I don’t need this BS too! But now this is obviously going to come up, they’re gunna know I said something and I feel like it’s all a lost cause. I actually LIKE MY JOB. Sure it’s phone calls but despite the angry fuckers it’s pretty easy from my collection agency job and I’m excelling. But I don’t want problems....

[setoangel01-fanfiction]

Ending

Crazy - Chapter 27 (Previous Chapter)

Fandom: TMNT 2014/2016

Pairing: Raphael x April (Raphril)

Rated: T

Chapter Summary: The ending. April comes clean about some things she's been meaning to say and Raphael can't fucking believe what he's hearing.

<><><>

I cannot thank everyone who has read this story enough. I've gotten so many messages from so many wonderful people asking me when/if I was going to write another chapter of this story which is more than for any other fanfiction that I have written before.

So, it pains me to have to inform y'all of this, but truthfully, I am done with writing fanfiction for the TMNT universe. I've moved on to other fandoms but I really wanted to finish this story instead of putting it in permanent hiatus.

So, here's the final chapter.

What I am presenting to you now is woefully unfinished - mostly pieces of chapters I started and written bits for but never completed fully but the idea is there. There are also larger chunks of it missing which I will summarize briefly (or even more in depth at points) what is occurring before getting to the next scene but the ending (approx last 1500 words) is COMPLETE. I finished the last chapter forever ago so it will have a (hopefully) satisfying ending but it will be rather rushed in getting there.

I planned at least 10 more chapters and this would fit into about 3 at most. And while I hate having to release something only partly finished as this final chapter, I wanted this story to have a conclusion. I would rather it be done than just be in permanent hiatus until I somehow got into TMNT again (which honestly, I don't see happening) and I thought most of my readers would agree, so hopefully, this is sufficient.

Thanks again for sticking with me through this long wait. I sincerely hope you enjoy!

<><><>

Author's Note: Scene starts from where we left off last chapter -

The following day, Raphael wakes up in the lair's infirmary suffering from a mild case of pneumonia from being out in the cold. He's frantic and wondering where he is when he finally notices Leo sitting next to him by the bed.

As Raphael stares at Leo, Raph suddenly recalls what he's doing here and what he'd just been through last night and the situation with April. Of course, it's a shock to the system as he's forced to confront that April had been with Casey and is understandably brokenhearted about the whole situation all over again.

A long terse silence passes before Leo and Raphael (reluctantly) have a long talk about everything that transpired. Here is a bit of that I did manage to write out; sorry if it's shit. XD It was a mere 15 minute word vomit more than anything.

<><><> "You can't keep doing this to yourself, Raph." Leo sighed, still internally wondering why he was even bothering with trying to reason with his emotionally unstable brother. Yet as he kept stealing glances at Raphael's face and into the molten gold of his eyes, Leo knew something was wrong.

Something had broken his younger brother last night - exactly what is the question.

For as troubled as Raphael could be, Leo had never seen Raph like this.

It was like a light had been turned off in him. Because as defensive as Raphael was while brutally fighting him last night in that alley, it was like the combative nature in Raph had been completely snuffed out upon awakening.

"...Yeah...I know, Leo." Raphael muttered what seemed like hours later.

Wait. What?

Leo stared at his brother wondering if he'd really heard his brother say that or during his vigil he'd kept over his brother, he'd fallen asleep without knowing it. He couldn't remember the last time Raphael called him by his actual name…

"...What was that, Raph?" he asked while sneakily pinching himself to make sure he wasn't dreaming.

There was pain...so this wasn't a dream.

"...I said I fuckin' know, Fearless." Raph growled but it held hardly any of the heat it usually did.

Leo remained silent mostly in shock for Raphael was never one to say he was right - ever.

Just what the actual hell happened to Raph last night!?

Fists clenching on his lap, Leo stared at Raphael's profile for some of the answers but none were found. Just Raphael's nearly blank stare as the red-banded terrapin stared at the worn blanket crumpled around his lap. The bandages on his swollen and bloody knuckles knotting in the fabric almost absentmindedly.

"Hey, Raph…" Leo said softly, reaching over to touch Raphael's shoulder but pulled back when he thought better of it. "Talk to me."

Minutes passed in silence and Leo was prepared to speak or outright leave his brother to stew in his own misery when that quiet was broken.

"...I lost her, Leo… " Raphael said in a choked, broken laugh that might as well have ripped Leonardo's heart straight out of his chest. "I know wat cha gunna say too; like how da fuck can ya lose somethin' ya never had, huh? …I shoulda jus fuckin' listened ta ya…"

Leo was stunned into complete silence as Raphael continued.

"I…I really neva stood a fuckin' chance with April…did I?" Raph asked, looking at Leo and the agony lacing those golden orbs was something Leo only saw once with Raphael before - the night they almost lost Splinter. But before Leo could say anything in response, Raphael went on.

"Who da fuck am I kiddin'? I mean, fuck - look at her! As if I stood a fuckin' chance cuz who da hell could anyone ever want anythin' to do wit a freak like me?" Raph grunted, slamming a fist onto the bedsheet and Leo didn't care about boundaries anymore, he grabbed the edge of Raphael's carapace and pulled the much larger terrapin against his chest.

"Don't fucking say that ever again! She's a damned idiot if she turned you away because you deserve all the happiness in the world, Raphael! Don't let this define you! Ever! That's a fucking ORDER!" Leo yelled, holding tightly as Raphael tensed like a coiled spring in his arms.

Leo was waiting for the blow, for Raphael to punch him with his broken knuckles and scream in his face…but he didn't.

Leonardo swallowed the lump clogging his throat as he stole a glance at Raphael's face and it was almost like a physical blow to see the normally strongest brother look completely defeated. Resigned, just accepting of the shitty hand and heartbreak life kept handing him and the worst part was Leo couldn't fight this.

Curling his lip as he watched a rogue tear drip down Raphael's face and a new disdain for their Hogasha grew in Leonardo's heart as he held his little brother together as best as he could.

<><><>

AN: Raphael finally pushes Leo away and he coerces his older brother to leave him alone. The embarrassment catching up with breaking down and letting his oldest brother hold him together when he was always so strong. Finally alone, Raphael accepts what happened with April and thinks it's best that he stays away from her to avoid any more pain. If he kept being around her, he'd only be jabbing the knife deeper into his own chest. It's just not worth it anymore.

As much as he loves her and wants nothing but to be with her even only platonically, he knows that even being in her presence would be too much for him to take.

Finally listening to his better judgement, Raphael lets her go.

Raphael recovers and goes back to life - being more present in his family's life and away from the brunette reporter - and more shockingly, improving his and Leo's relationship along the way.

…A week later April visits but it doesn't go so well…

<><><>

April's heart hammered unsteadily as she quickly made her way through the manhole cover. The acrid stench meeting her nostrils immediately but she had grown used to it throughout the years even if it still turned her stomach especially in the summer months. But it was not the smell of the sewer that was bothering the brunette now.

Adjusting the half a dozen pizza boxes in her arms, she walks toward the turtle's lair.

It had been a week since Raphael fled her apartment; a week of turmoil and anxiety since the incident and it was only now she felt brave enough to confront Raphael. The terrapin who still refused to answer her texts even if it showed them as 'read' - he never replied.

"Hello?" April called into the lair; unsurprised when she saw Donatello in his usual spot and Mikey in front of the television further into their living area. Per usual, Leonardo and Raphael were nowhere to be seen.

"Baby Cakes!" Mikey excitedly burst into the room and approached the brunette in an explosion of energy that she missed so damn much. How long had it been since she visited them?

Mikey was careful to put down the pizza she brought before he picked her up and spun her in large circles with a chuckle. April happily accepted the hug from the smallest turtle; his arms strong and firm around her body.

"I missed you, Mikey! How have you been?" she asked when her feet touched the floor again.

"Just peachy, doll!" he announced before cupping his mouth with one hand and stage whispering in her ear, "But between you and me, Leo and Raph seem to have gained yet another stick wedged up their uptight asses, so watch out, m'kay?" he winked.

"I'll remember that," she giggled at his words; some sense of normalcy she craved filling her battered chest.

"Good evening, April," Donatello approached while she had been distracted by the youngest.

"Hey, Donnie! How are you?" she asked the genius terrapin.

Donatello shrugged, wiping his bloodshot eyes.

<><><>

AN: That's all I wrote but in summary, Donnie tells April about the attacks in the sewers that seem to be happening in greater frequency. The strange outages and power issues they've been having as well as the breaks in their security systems which is all very worrying and keeping them all on edge.

Yet instead of really listening, April is distracted, looking for a familiar flash of a red mask to ask about the incident last week and of course, to apologize, but Raphael is nowhere to be seen.

As her, Splinter, Mikey and Donnie eat the pizza she brought, Donnie and Mikey and intermittently, Splinter, informs her that Leo and Raph apparently have been closer than they'd been in years and have been patrolling together and trying to investigate the vast network sewers more than usual because of the strange happenings.

Donnie talks about the connections this has to Dr. Baxter Stockman and his inventions Donatello had studied and how it all links with the prison breaks - namely Karai and now they're waiting on pins and needles to see what is going to happen next. He warns all of them to remain vigilant and cautious of their surroundings at all times.

Hours later, April still sticks around the lair when finally Leo and Raph return…

Here's a clip of Raph and April's interaction -

<><><>

"Raph!" April jumps up from the couch as soon as she sees his red mask from across the lair.

Without caring about those around her and their sudden stares, she makes her way over to him but instead of being met with his lazy smirk and bright golden eyes, the second he sees her coming, he ignores her and heads in the direction of the showers.

"Hey! Raph! I- I wanted to apologize about last week. I'm so sorry to keep you waiting for so long, I really didn't mean to. I'm sorry." April says as she scrambles after him.

"It's fine," is his short answer and he still won't look at her as his stride barely slows down and she struggles to keep up.

"Well, still! I need to make it up to you! I know! How about dinner and a movie at my place this weekend? I could order from that new sushi place I heard is damn amazing! How about it?" she asks, grabbing his forearm is when he finally stops and looks at her.

Instead of his open expression, crooked smile, and bright gold eyes, there's nothing. His face is just like his mask - giving no emotion away - eyes a dull honey and mouth almost lined with irritation.

He hadn't looked at her like that since the very beginning when he didn't trust her…

April is not put off though, pushing through with, "So, what do you say?" she asks again with the brightest smile she can muster even as her chest feels tight while confronting this almost unrecognizable Raphael.

"Eh - Sorry, but nah, I'm gonna havta pass. Been busy lately, ya know," Raph replies and incredibly gently brushed her hand off his arm as he continues toward their bathroom without even looking back at her.

"But - I - W-Wait! But what about the weekend after? We can meet then!" she desperately inquires as she runs after him.

"Thanks for da offer but no thanks. Bye, April." is all Raphael says before he walks away; quietly closing the door behind him and April is left staring at it in shock.

A part of April is terribly confused and a little pissed but the other vast majority just wants to cry…

She feels an unexplained feeling of loss she hadn't felt in such a long time - as if she lost her best friend just now and she has no idea why. Just what the fuck happened for Raphael to treat her this way?

The sudden guilt hits her like a damn train as she wraps her arms around herself and feels the back of her eyes burning with unshed tears. She's tempted to slam her fists on the door, to demand Raphael let her apologize even if she has to grovel for him just to talk to her again or not look through her like she doesn't even matter to him anymore.

But she swallows back the desire and just whispers out, "Okay…M-Maybe next time then… Bye, Raph." before turning away.

Pressed against the door, he hears the soft click of April's boots as she walks away and it is then that Raphael gently falls to his knees. The pain of seeing April broke something in him and having to push her aside and seeing the undisguised hurt on her face almost had him disregarding his own pain to comfort her but somehow, he got through it…

Now that the initial contact is over, he thinks he can finally get through this with his heart intact…

Raphael just wished it wouldn't hurt so damn much to walk away from her…

<><><>

AN: Raphael and April stay away from each other for months.

April works, goes home, eats and sleeps; her life continues around her but she feels stuck in a limbo.

In case anyone wanted clarification about a few chapters prior -

Yes, April and Casey slept together that night when Raph was waiting for her at her apartment. Both were completely drunk and it was barely remembered the next day (but it was consensual!). Afterward, Casey tried to communicate with April to basically form a romantic relationship, but April refuses. She'd felt horrible guilty for the one-night stand with Casey but it stemmed deeper than just sleeping with the Detective when, while attracted to him, didn't love him in that way.

If April was honest with herself, the only reason she allowed herself to have sex with Casey was because she was horribly confused. Her feelings for Raphael had been more than platonic for a long time but she refuses to acknowledge them. Mostly in fear for what having affections deeper than friendship for a mutant turtle would mean in the long run. The species difference, the age gap, and most importantly, she worries these feelings she has for Raphael are only temporary and she has no idea what Raphael feels about her.

If she tells him how she feels and he didn't return it, she'd feel horrible and selfish and Raphael and his lack of self-esteem would suffer thinking she only spent time with him because of lust or misguided intentions. More than the rejection, she's more worried when she realizes that even after months of being ghosted by Raphael, her feelings remain unchanged. …while she loves all the turtles, this love she has for Raphael feels far more significant - but she could never tell him. Especially now.

As months pass and Raphael still refuses to talk to her, April slowly gives up on the notion thinking she did something to permanently fuck-up her friendship with Raphael. She wonders if it was to do with her sleeping with Casey and Raph finding out about it and thinking negatively of her. She's tempted to call Casey and give him a chance to stem the horrible loneliness she's experiencing and the guilt for feeling as if she used Casey somehow - but she can't because that would only be using Casey further and she refuses to do that. The feelings just aren't there - she's physically attracted to him, sure - but that's it. She doesn't have that same emotional connection she had built and grown with Raphael for over two years by this point.

It takes a long time, but April finally comes to accept that what she feels for Raphael goes deeper than friendship.

Their relationship was more than that - he was her best friend, someone she could talk to and listen to for hours without tiring. How seeing him smile and making him laugh were the highlights of her day and how she always wanted to spent time with him. How inexplicably her heart would pound whenever she felt those smooth scales underneath her fingertips and the sensation of butterflies would grow in her stomach when she caught herself staring at his mouth and wondering how it would feel pressed against hers. She just wants to be with him… It takes her a damn long time, but April soon accepts that she's in love with Raphael…even if now she'll never be able to tell him because she doubts he'd want to hear it.

So, she continues with her life thinking she ruined the one chance she had with Raphael forever. All her calls and offers to hang out remained unanswered and she realizes she also lost her friendship with him also.

Raphael on the other hand, throws himself in full time with his brothers to try and figure out the connection between Baxter Stockman, Karai and the increasing problems within the lair and the unrest in the city. Foot Clan being spotted frequently but not doing anything nefarious either. The turtles stay vigilant and mostly, Raphael stays busy to stop himself from thinking about April.

Even after months of being away from her, he still finds her at the corner of his mind every time he's not focusing on something else. Always in the background ready to fill him with guilt and anguish in the fact he hadn't seen or heard from her for months by his own volition and not answering her calls and texts. How pathetic he feels when he always finds a way to watch April on television if only to hear her voice and see her even in the grainy pixilated screen.

It's driving him absolutely insane.

Raphael thought that being away from her would help - but it's only getting worse. It's not he fact he lost out on any potential romance with her - he lost her friendship too - and he misses it desperately. Raphael is also terribly and constantly worried about her safety with all of the happenings throughout the city. So, Raph devises a plan to follow her home every day to make sure she's safe at the very least.

After weeks of following her home is when something happens no one could have predicted…

<><><>

Maybe he was a fucking idiot but he didn't care. Never mind that his creepiness factor was over 9,000...damn Mikey and his new old school anime obsession...

It didn't matter to him.

All that mattered to Raphael was making sure April was safe.

The pretty brunette reporter had no clue of his hobby of following her home every night - even Leo approved if he'd kept himself in shadows. Ever since he started ignoring her texts and calls, he noticed they'd stopped after the first month. Mikey and Donatello (who still spoke to the reporter frequently - which still filled him with bitterness even as he refused to see her) told him to call her back but he never did. When she'd show up at the lair, he was sure to leave without even talking or even allowing her to see him; he'd saunter off without a word. If there was a conversation, he gave short answers and gave an excuse that would allow him a quick escape. If his family noticed their lack of communication, they didn't say anything - even if the looks they flashed him spoke volumes.

But for their silence, Raphael was thankful.

After all, this fallout with April was bound to happen eventually. He'd go on with his life as he has been and she'd go on with hers. Let her continue her relationship with Casey; let them fall in love, get married, have 2 and a half kids, white picket fence, the whole perfect shebang - let the Detective give her the happily ever after like April deserved.

…As if he could ever compare or give her anything she truly needed…

Raphael shook his head of those thoughts and hoped that eventually, the pain of wanting her so bad would dissipate. That his once-obsession would fade away… For those first few weeks, it was freeing. A sense of freedom he'd not known for a long time.

It felt incredibly liberating..for only three months.

Three months being all it took for this unbearable gnawing ache inside him to form. This need and want to be with her like it used to be. He deplored this new relationship of skirting around each other just to not hurt the other's feelings.

...But he was certain that it had to be this way.

April's certain rejection of him would be the final nail in his coffin and he would rather control his own fate rather than wait for her to deal the final blow. Smelling Casey on her should have done that, but to hear it from her mouth would be the last straw. Yet, it still didn't stop the horrendous need to just be with her; aching to be in her presence and the chance to see her - so the shadows would have to do.

It was night like any other.

Fucking cold and windy even this late in winter, almost early spring, with small snowflakes landing and melting instantly upon his skin.

The frigid wind cascading over his reptilian skin burned, but the pain in his heart overwhelmed it enough to make it bearable and even welcomed at times. From the shadows, he watched her leave the building, walking side by side with her co-worker, Vernon. She said a few parting pleasantries to her camera man, who thankfully, quit asking her to go over to some new cafe for 'munchies' once the nerd finally got himself a girlfriend - a fucking bombshell one at that.

How Vernon managed to pull it off, Raphael would never know.

A parting wave later, she was off into the dangers of the city - not alone - but she didn't have to know that.

Raph followed her diligently, staying silent as night. Keeping a large vantage point around her and anyone who would pass by, look in her direction or walk near her.

She was only a few blocks from her apartment when Raphael swore that if he had hairs on the back of his neck, they'd be standing on end. A dreaded realization came over him when he saw the visage of someone he never wished to see again emerge from a nearby alley like an actual shadow. Yet instead of the normal ninjitsu techniques he'd expect - he saw the flash of an object he didn't anticipate them to carry and a sound that followed it - the non-mistakable metallic click of a gun being cocked than aimed straight toward the back of the unsuspecting April's head.

In an instant, he was jumping from the building and running as soon as the muffled pop went off.

The graze of the bullet sliced cleanly across the scales of his shoulder the second he heard April shriek and hit the ground in a blind panic. Raphael ignored his wound, pinpointing the attacker and the woman stared back at him in terror.

Karai.

The very appearance of her filled him with more rage than he could have imagined.

Without any care that she was a woman, he attacked, and for the first time, she flinched in panic at the utter fear that consumed her. Raphael supposed that just the sight of his burning amber eyes and bared teeth let her know immediately that mercy simply was not an option.

In what could only be desperation, Karai shot again.

The shot ricocheting off his plastron right before she tried to run, black hair flicking across her face as she hurriedly cocked the gun again, but she didn't have time to pull the trigger when he saw red; slamming her with every ounce of strength in his body.

Karai's thin form flying backwards at the sheer force; hitting the brick wall with a heavy thunk and the distinct crack of bone echoing throughout the area before she fell lifelessly to the floor. The woman let out a pitiful noise and Raphael was sorely tempted to snap her neck to finish her, but pulled himself back. If she was still somehow alive, there was no way he was ending her misery - she deserved every single bit of pain he dealt her for trying to kill April.

Raphael swallowed back a lump that clogged his throat and swiftly turned back to April.

The lump returned when he saw her sitting there - cornflower blue eyes wide, body shaking profusely with arms wrapped around herself but Raph highly doubted it was a response to the cold.

Raphael took a moment to look around just to make sure there was no foot soldiers nearby but from the look of it, Karai was sent on this assignment alone. He snorted angrily. Hating the fact April got caught up with them - the mere fact of her merely associating with them consonantly putting the reporter in danger. He fucking deplored it...but April still wouldn't stop. She still wouldn't even after their fallout…

Without thinking about anything but April's safety, Raphael scooped the brunette up into his arms and took off back into the night.

April was silent at first, but as the shock wore off, he heard her crying, pressing her face into his throat and letting out the most guttural sobs he ever heard from her. Every warm tear against his clavicle was another stab to his heart. April should never cry - her strength and resilience during so much of the shit they'd put her through since they met - not once did she cry. Not once did this woman break down - and yet, here she was, hiding her face in the concave of his neck - weeping uncontrollably and clinging to him like a lifeline.

"...Ya okay?" he finally asked in a gruffer voice than he intended, heart racing, pulse thrumming in his ears as he continued to run.

April was silent, her arms wrapped tightly around his neck, hard enough to slightly cut off his airway, but he didn't have the heart to tell her to loosen her arms.

Raphael didn't dwell on what would have happened had he not followed her home that night.

Had he not been there to take that bullet...

Raph shook his head, not even daring to ponder that thought further.

As he made his way to her apartment, what just transpired flitted through his mind like scene from a horror movie.

The instant he understood what was happening, he just moved. Sheer instinct to protect April - it was like his body knew what to do before his mind could even catch up. It didn't matter that she'd broken his heart - didn't matter if she decided to never see him again - he loved her regardless. That was never going away and he accepted it. As long as he was drawing breath, he would protect her - would die for her if need be. This fierce protectiveness was daunting but he'd come to accept that he'd thrived with it.

There was something about seeing April broken like that - rigid, her knees and legs shaking profusely underneath her. Even after the threat had been disarmed and most likely dead, she didn't move; still, he approached her slowly and his heart nearly stopped when she flinched away from his touch. The pain of their mutual avoidance fell to the wayside when the tears started. Raphael didn't care if she didn't want to be touched, he wrapped his arms around her and to his relief, she quickly hugged him back, weeping into his neck.

Within seconds, he'd picked her up into his arms and they went off into the night, which brought him to his current point.

Raphael had frozen atop her apartment building. April had not spoken a single word since he saved her other than her broken sobs.

April sniffled into his neck and finally mumbled a choked, "I'm fine..."

Raphael couldn't recall the last time he moved so fast down her fire escape, opening her window and making his way inside her dark apartment. He's quickly flicked on a couple lights and made his way to place her upon the couch, but the second he tried putting her down, April screamed.

Flinching at the sudden scream, he embraced her tighter, hushing soft mantras of "It's okay", "I'm here", and "It's all over".

<><><>

AN: As soon as Raphael and April get back to her apartment, April becomes hysterical. Seeing Raphael's wound on his shoulder and the fact she almost got killed just hits her and she's frantic. Raphael can do little to calm her down so he allows her to control the little she can. Allowing the brunette to clean his wounds and bandage him up just to keep her quiet even as he worries over her seemingly shattered mental state.

It wasn't just tonight either. Raphael notices the dark circles under her eyes, the fatigue, and how she looks at him with the most heartbreakingly haunted eyes. So, apparently he wasn't he only one that was going insane from their separation… There are still a lot of bitter feelings between them that neither can fully accept or talk about yet but the silence does most of it.

Lost in almost a little world as the adrenaline and near death experienc e fades slightly as the night continues. There's little words but not much needs to be said. Raphael and April are sitting next to each other on the couch and April still has yet to take her hands off of him. Clinging to him like a lifeline and Raphael doesn't even bother trying to remove the touch.

He missed it.

The guilt of refusing to talk to her so long builds in him and he knows she feels horrible too for probably the same reasons. Eventually, April calms but still keeps her hands on him; her fingers gently running up and down his forearm and the backs of his hands and over the new scars from his knuckles he got the last time he fled her apartment.

There's so many things both want to say but don't.

The exhaustion mentally and physically hits April first. The brunette lying her head against his chest where she falls asleep and Raphael accepts it. Gently lying down, he lays her on top of him with a blanket over both of them.

Months ago, his heart would be hammering and his pulse drumming frantically at this interaction but now he just feels relief to have her close.

Closing his eyes, Raphael almost falls asleep when his phone beeps in his pocket.

It's Donnie's mile long text informing him in great detail that with the police interference and information, they located where Baxter Stockman was staying and trying to reestablish communication with the Krang and Shredder. They were able to stop them all. The only missing piece is Karai who is missing and it suddenly made sense to Raphael why she went after April alone - a final piece of hatred to leave when she believed all turtles would be occupied with Stockman. Even if Baxter failed, the pain of losing their closest human friend would devastate them all…

Raphael felt immediate relief at the outcome and wrote with one hand, 'Karai is dead she tride 2 kill April. Aprils ok btw.'

Donnie doesn't respond immediately but when he does, all it reads is, 'that makes things a lot easier. Where's the body so we can inform the police?'

Raphael returns the information before shutting off his phone and focusing on the slumbering brunette in his arms.

As much as he wants to stew in his guilt and frustration of these past few months, he instead relishes in her life. Her breathing and sleeping on top of his plastron as if these past three months of avoidance didn't matter…

Raphael soon joins her in slumber and it's the best damn sleep he ever had.

<><><>

…Now for the actual conclusion…

<><><>

The first signs of wakefulness was like a light dusting of snow - while it would hit your skin, it would be so light and airy, it would hardly register; leaving you in this limbo in that cusp of unconsciousness. It began to pull at his awareness when he felt a tickle of breath along his chest, the warm air brushing over those sensitive plates.

It hit him like a runaway train when the warmth that rested on his stomach began shuffling - the recollection of what had occurred the previous night slashed at the remains of sleep and caused his eyes to flutter open.

The first thing he saw was the tattered white ceiling of April's apartment, delicate cracks trailing along the surface like spiderweb patterns in the thin stucco. He trained his eyes to the source of movement; fighting the need to flinch upon seeing April resting upon his chest, her delicate fingers brushing comforting circles; tracing the grooves on his plastron. Blue eyes peering along the surface as her fingers continued their languid movements in an almost hypnotic motion.

April began speaking, as if sensing his state even though her eyes continued to focus at some point beyond her vision.

"...Do you know what I was thinking about... when I was certain I was going to die?" she asked, her small, shaken voice was broken and he knew that if his hearing wasn't as good as it was, he most likely wouldn't have heard it.

Raphael didn't answer immediately, still frozen in place at the sight of her; while April was always small and petite, how she was curled up into herself at this moment made her look downright fragile - like a glass doll that could turn to dust at the slightest breeze. Heart aching upon seeing her this way, broken and afraid weren't adjectives to describe this strong, fiery, and damn stubborn woman in the least, it was as if she inverted into herself; a shell of some sorts.

"...what?" Raph asked in a gruff whisper, as if she'd break into pieces if his voice was too loud.

"At first, my thoughts were all over the place...stupid things like that vacation I never got to take because of work. Not calling my aunt and wishing her a happy birthday last week. Getting the damn garden salad instead of the bacon cheeseburger burger I really wanted for lunch... Heh... Isn't the brain the strangest thing when you think you're going to die? " April chuckled, fingers never letting up from the pattern. Her voice was a low, withdrawn whisper as she continued.

"Regrets... I always thought I've always lived my life in a way where I wouldn't have any...but..." a heavy sigh punctuated the thought before she finally continued, "It was all a lie, Raphael. I do have regrets - mostly trivial things that mean nothing at all...but there's one that terrified me into a fucking panic attack last night..."

All of a sudden, her movement stopped; palm flat over his racing heart as she lifted her face and looked at him as if for the first time.

"Do you want to know what the worst regret I have is?" April whimpered, cornflower blue eyes boring into his own burnished amber.

"...What?" Raph asked in a barely audible whisper at the pain lacing those beautiful blue eyes - pain he'd be willing to die for just the opportunity to take it away from her.

"If I died last night... How I never would have gotten the chance..." her left hand reached out to lightly touch his face; dainty fingers brushing along his jaw before she continued, "...t-to tell you..." fingers brushed over his lips and signature scar marring them and he trembled at the touch, "...just how much I love you...how I've always loved you...so fucking much. I was just too much of a fucking coward to admit to myself…" The whispered admission was like a shock to the heart; blue eyes lined with tears as she continued staring at him.

For a long time, there was nothing but silence in the small apartment.

The only noise that could be heard was his heartbeat pulsating in his ears, their combined breathing and the soft purr of the heater turning on. Raph was certain she could hear and feel just how fast his heart was drumming in his chest, one palm still resting comfortably atop his plastron. He wasn't sure if this was some kind of dream - some kind of euphoric conjuring of his mind, but the pain he was experiencing just by witnessing the overwhelming sadness in her blue depths that told him this was indeed reality. It wasn't those sweet dreams where she'd kiss him, hold him in a way he was certain she never would.

Fate had never been kind to him.

He never imagined he'd be lucky enough to know what it was like to be loved, be accepted by anyone other than his family.

And yet - here she was.

This incredibly beautiful woman (inside and out) who'd become such an instrumental part of his world - who he had yet to thank for his very existence when he should have perished in that fire so many years ago. How she'd entranced him from the moment he'd first laid eyes on her. The blindness at his initial distrust peeling away when she helped him with tending to Splinter. She'd had him wrapped around her tiny little finger since; slowly melting the black ice that surrounded his heart. Years of resentment toward humanity who would hurt him, dissect, and kill him at the first opportunity.

…but she changed everything.

April showed him that he was wrong and he'd never been more thankful to have been. He came to care for her - protect her - and ultimately love her with every fiber of his being; fully accepting the fact she'd never return those feelings once Casey came into the picture.

The words she spoke now ripped all that pondering to shreds. This was the same little girl who fed them pizza and named them after Renaissance painters - the same one who grew up and lost everything only to give everything to him and his family. She owed them nothing, but he owed her his very existence, and yet, she was here; just admitted to him that her only regret in her life before this moment was her withheld feelings of love she'd harbored all this time.

It was enough to take his breath away.

This was not something he expected. In a moment right now where she was lying on his chest, curled into his body and looking at him as if just waiting for him to reject her - sadness and resignation overwhelming every sense of the word.

Raphael wanted to speak.

Every fiber of his being screamed at him to say something - anything - but yet, his tongue felt like a chunk of lead stuck to the bottom of his mouth. The words just wouldn't come. Words of his own confession, his own secret muse of being in love with her from almost the very beginning. Convictions strong; willing to die for this girl if only for the chance to see her smile...but his mouth just wouldn't move...

"I love you, Raphael…" she whispered again, a sad smile tipping up the edges of her lips, "I'm not wasting another second with this regret and I'd fully understand if you'd continue with us not seeing or even talking to each other. Heh...I just...wanted you to know..."

Raphael couldn't speak, but this time, he knew actions would speak something words never could.

He interrupted her musing with a giant, gentle hand on the back of her head; pulling her toward him.

Within seconds, his lips enveloped hers and he gave every emotion, every word that he could put into that one kiss. It was off center and sloppy, but God, did it just feel so fucking good... He couldn't count how many times he'd dreamt about this, those visions of the feel and taste of her lips upon his own were nothing compared with the reality of that beautiful, soft, pouty mouth loving caressing his own. Certain his heart was going to beat out of his chest as his other hand moved to press along the curve of her spine, the fabric of that ratty t-shirt clenched in his hand as he lost himself in her.

All too soon, he felt her pull away with a wet popping noise; while already craving her lips again, hearing her heaving breaths and rapid pulsation of her heart, he knew she felt it too.

That maybe...he wasn't so crazy after all...

...They were both completely insane...and it was the best fuckin' feeling in the world as she kissed him again...

The End!

[jjsjuiceboxx]

NOT SO SUBTLE

REQUESTED FOR: @www-imbored-com

SUMMARY- You and Drew have grown close filming season 1 of obx, you think you’re starting to love him and you think he likes you back because he is very touchy and he always makes sure he is sitting close to you.

⚠️WARNINGS⚠️: cussing.

A/N: this is just a bunch of fluff, happy reading :).

☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎

While filming season 1 of obx drew was one of the first people you got close with dont get me wrong you were friends with everyone and close with everyone but you and Drew’s friendship was a bit more then the others, you noticed how in the first month of filming season one Drew got a little flirty complimenting you every chance you got “wow that dress looks beautiful on you” which always led to you blushing. By the third month of filming he would open doors for you and always offering his water to you.

6 months into coming you guys held hands hugged and cuddled. In public the people who didn’t know you guys thought y’all were dating but you were not you never went on dates and he never asked you to be his girlfriend. Of course you hung out outside of filming but it was mostly with the group every now and then you two would go out alone.

Currently you were on set filming season 2 you had already done your scenes for the day but decided to stay back just in case they needed you to help or, or help madelyn take pictures and funny videos for tomfoolery, “hey did I show you the photo of Drew I took this morning in the trailers?” Madelyn asked after taking a photo of the sunset with the silhouettes of the pogues in the background looking like shadows “no, but now you said it I need to see it” you said she handed her camera over flicking to the photo and there it was Drew practically passed out in his breakfast burrito “oh my god that is gold he isn’t living that down ever”

Who isn’t living what down?” The man who uses a burrito as a pillow muses at you “oh nothing dearest drewseph” Maddie said laughing and putting her camera away “how was your day?” You asked calming down from laughing so hard you barely saw him today “it was good I missed my lady around, oh did you drink enough water? And eat? I know how you get when you don’t eat food” Drew reprimanded but sweetly you rolled your eyes “yes Drew I ate food dont worry they beast is in hibernation from a food coma” you said Maddie and Drew laughed “ok good we don’t need you to break another window” Maddie said remembering how you were starving you all were but you had it the worst and were so mad at Rudy and chase for messing around you punched a window and broke it then immediately apologized for breaking a window and said you were just really hungry Austin walked to you and literally shoved a hamburger in your mouth and you were so quiet for 20 mins while you at his hamburger feeling so much better ever since then everyone makes sure you ate so you don’t end up splitting them in half.

“Yeah yeah I’ve gotten a lot better” “yeah because we all remind you to eat or shove food in your face” jonas walked over to the three of you “hey guys so we just need the pogues for the rest of the day so it’s a wrap on you guys if you wanted to go and stuff” Jonas said and walked off quickly to direct what’s happening next “I was thinking of going out to this lake where you can rent paddle boards and canoes and stuff, do y’all wanna come?” Drew asked “yeah that sounds like fun I’ve never been paddle boarding before” “I would but I promised I would help out around with everything you guys have fun tho” Maddie said you guys said goodbye and hopped into a car.

Once you arrived you immediately took a picture of the view because it was so beautiful “Drew this is beautiful, how did you find this?” You asked amazed “aww yanno just some tourist site thing” you walked up to the people at the booth for the paddle boards once you got the paddle boards you and Drew started to paddle in the lake “so am I your lady or is there a secret women I need to know about?” You asked Drew laughing “oh it’s definitely you but i dont know one of the set members dog looked really good today” you both bursted out laughing “you’re such an idiot” “oh yeah well can an idiot do this?” Drew questioned before throwing himself off the paddle board and doing a flip landing perfectly into the water.

“No I guess an idiot can’t do that, you’ve proved me wrong starkey im quite impressed” you said clapping for him “good because I’ve actually never done that before and just hoped it would look cool not gunna lie I was trying to impress you” Drew said getting slightly red “well you’ve succeeded tremendously” you said you guys continued talking and paddle boarding deciding to race you lossed tho because you fell into the water.

“Drew look at the view it’s soo pretty oh my god” you said taking out your phone and snapping a bunch of photos you stopped when you heard a camera shatter and looked at your phone confused since you put your silencer on so it wouldn’t disrupt your time with Drew you looked over and Drew is looking at his phone smiling then he showed you the photo it was of you in the paddle boat taking a photo of the view “should I post this and be basic and caption it “she thought the view was pretty but I thought she was prettier” ?” Drew asked making your laugh “oh of course I’m trying to turn you into a white girl that should be the first step” you said you sighed “thank you for saying I’m pretty” you blushed and looked down at your reflection in the lake you guys paddle board was side by side so it was easy for him to take his hand to your chin and make you look at him “youre so welcome, honestly you’ve made this whole experience so great and I just want to tell you that I love you a lot and uh do you want to officially be my lady?” You laughed but said yes and you guys kissed it got a little heated because of all the sexual tension that had been built up you had tongues in each other’s mouths your hands in his hair and his on your bare hips on of the paddle boards almost flipped “maybe we should head back to set, also we took the only car for them to get home in” you suggested drew nodded not being able to form words and off to set you went.

When you arrived you saw everyone waiting all in their normal clothes “dudes did you really kidnap my car?” Austin asked “I wouldn’t say “kidnap” I just borrowed it” drew said air quoting kidnap “whatever you’re not riding shot gun for that and neither are you Y/N” Austin said getting in the drivers side you shrugged “SHOTGUN” chase belted out him and JD made eye contact and JD touched the handle first and sat down “gotta be quicker then that” JD said to chase you rolled your eyes and got in the back Drew got in right after you and you both intertwined your hands together the rest piled into the car and off you went to the apartment buildings.

Once you got on the highway JD plugged his phone in the aux and played music Rudy, chase, and both maddies were singing so loudly you got a lot of confidence from no where and unbuckled your seat belt and straddled Drew’s lap “what are you doing?” He questioned wide eyed “you’ll see just go with it” you mumbled and then started to lean in he surprised you when he met you half way and you continued what you had stopped at the lake his hands were squeezing your ass making you want to moan but you didn’t and you tugged on his hair “uh guys ? Can you like I don’t know maybe not do that?” Rudy questioned looking at you guys he was seated right next to drew one of Drew’s hands moved from your ass and waving off rudy. His hand immediately went back to where it was you felt everyone’s eyes on y’all now Rudy groaned annoyed “Ok you can borrow my car from now on” Austin said chase turned the song louder hoping you would stop Madelyn and Madison laughed you heard Madison say “that explains his insta photo she said showing everyone that he did in fact post it madelyn decided to take a picture and video recording “hey guys you gonna come up for air? She asked you just flicked her off you could hear the video replaying “dude this is gunna be so good for tomfoolery”

You guys pulled up to the apartment but you wouldn’t know cause you were still making out with Drew his hands in your shirt this time and you leaving slight hickies on his neck then going back to his lips and pulling his hair making him lean to the side so you can get better accesses chase turned around when no one got out of the car “yo love birds we are here” chase called but you still didn’t move Madison giggled “wow” Madelyn pulled her phone out again and recorded knowing the look on Rudy’s face meant he was about to do something funny “ok that’s it” Rudy stated frustration obviously on his face and tone because he was squished two on one of his side and then both the maddies to his left side keeping him from getting out of the car “I’m fucking hungry and squishedl” he complained turning towards you and drew who were still kissing you felt a hand on your forehead and then suddenly you were being pulled apart from Drew you opened your eyes to see the same was being done with Drew you moved your eyes from Drew’s to Rudy who was literally pulling you apart by your face “we are here it’s time you stop so I can get out” Rudy said his tongue out so he can focus on pulling you apart once he was satisfied he looked at you since you were closest to the door “now get out so I can get out and get food before I lose my shit” you got out and thought drew would follow but he wasn’t fast enough for Rudy’s liking “oh fuck it” Rudy said before climbing over Drew’s lap and then running to his and chases apartment door.

“Yeah don’t mess with Rudy when he is hungry he gets mean” chase said “much like Y/N just not physical leash not yet” chase mumbled “I’m going to my house to watch tv and for Cheetos” JD said “wait I’m coming, everyone out of my car” Austin said catching up with JD drew got out of the car and came straight to you “I guess this is goodbye” he said sadly “yeah I think it is” you said back just as sad “oh my god you live in the same apartment building 3 doors down calm down” chase said going up the stairs Madison followed to get her shoes she left the night before madelyn still there laughing at the video she got of Rudy pulling you and drew apart.

You hugged drew and went in for another kiss, Madelyn had left by now leaving the two of you out there you both pulled apart and said your goodbyes “goodnight drew I’ll see you tomorrow” “goodnight my lady” drew said you went to move out of his embrace but couldn’t he was latched on you tapped his shoulder but only got a hmm “babe, you gotta let go” you said laughing “I did” “yeah for 2 seconds” you literally had to pull him away from you and turned him around and slightly shoved him in the direction of his house he went to come back to you which led you to turn around and run away from him “Drew I love you but if you hug me one more time I won’t let go” you shouted as you got further away from him you heard him laugh and went into your apartment with both maddie’s you heard your phone ding and saw drew texted you saying that he missed you.

[looselucy]

Fight

“Maybe… Maybe you should put me down now.” I whispered after spending some time admiring the look of exhilaration that had clouded his usual bright eyes. “Shit, yeah, fuck, sorry.”

He distanced from me so that I could unwrap my legs from around his waist, shedding his body from mine. My feet slowly met the ground once again, my back still pressed against the wall beside his door, Harry keeping hold of me until the very last second, like he thought I may still fall over without his aid. I sort of felt the same way. We were slowly coming back to our senses, and it was leaving us both in a state where we weren’t quite sure what to say to one another. I was still rather breathless from the kiss, budging uncomfortably on my spot and staring up to him, seeing the way he still smiled, practically giddy. “Stop looking at me like that.” I blushed. “Sorry. Can’t help it.” “We’ve still got work to do, Styles.” He nodded, trying to bite back his smile, but I had instilled this ray of hope within him that was making him shine in ways that could not be darkened. “Okay, m’sorry.” He strained. “M’behaving.” I didn’t believe that for a second, but it was nice to feel so endeared by him rather than angry or frustrated or just overwhelmed by him and his actions. Desperate to escape his stares, I headed back through into the living room, letting him follow my lead. Through the doorway ahead of me, I spotted the broken mug that had shattered across the kitchen floor, my coffee seeping into and staining the wood. “Woah, Alf.” I heard Harry cry when he noticed my rapid approach toward the mess. “Please don’t. Let me sort that.” “For fuck sake, Harry.” I huffed as I crouched down on the ground and began carefully retrieving shards. “Please-” “Just help me.” Sighing so that he could make it clear he wasn’t impressed by how stubborn I was being, he retrieved a small dustpan and brush from the kitchen cupboard below his sink and then crouched down in front of me and got to work, managing to easily sweep up some of the larger pieces, the smaller ones trapped in dints and cracks. We were quiet for a while. “I’m sorry.” He muttered. “Why?” “I dunno why I do shit like this.” He nodded down to the shattered ceramic. He was frustrated with himself, ashamed about an outburst he’d had only moments earlier. I felt bad for him, in a way. I didn’t want him beating himself up over a mindless bit of rage that hadn’t really caused any harm. “I guess… emotions are running high today-” “That’s no excuse. I’ve still got stuff I need to work on, I know that.” He stopped what he was doing, looked right at me, so I looked at him. “There are still things about myself that I don’t like, and I want to be better. I need you to know that this isn’t… a reflection of me. This is all stuff I’m working on, Fee-Fee, I promise.” “I know.” I whispered warily. He nodded and dropped his head, got back to work. Harry had always been working on himself, trying to better himself. Always. It came as no surprise to me. He hadn’t needed to explain himself, but I could see why he had, especially after all the worries and emotions I had already expressed to him that morning. But I knew him and I knew that he’d always be making an effort to be the best version of himself; that’s just what Harry was like, successful or not. We were down to the final few pieces before he spoke again. “I’m sorry.” “You don’t need to keep apologising. It’s fine, honestly.” He simply shook his head, overthinking his actions, overthinking how I might be viewing his actions. He collected the final few pieces from the ground, standing back upright and heading to dispose of them as I stayed on the ground, watched him. “I’m not expecting you to be perfect, Harry.” I wanted to make that clear to him. If we were really going to try and make a go of things again, I didn’t want Harry to do so feeling like he had to be on his best behaviour, like he had to manage and alter himself to suit me. I had fallen in love with everything about him, not limited to his good attributes. “Okay.” He accepted through a sigh. “Then… tell me what you want.” I got to my feet, cautiously made my way over to him whilst he leaned against the kitchen counter, apprehensively awaiting my answer. “I can tell you what I don’t want.” I stopped a few inches ahead of him, noticing how the proximity affected him, made him tense and rattled in a rather charming way. “Tell me.” “I don’t want secrets. I don’t want to hide away, like we used to. I don’t want a relationship that’s locked indoors like we have something to hide. If you really want me back, we’re not just gunna pick things up where we left off. It’s something new, and it’s open.” “I want the same thing.” He whispered deeply. “And I don’t want to ever feel like I’m trying to… figure out what’s happening whilst you pull away from me. I want you to be open and honest, like you have been since you got back.” “I can do that.” He nodded. “And I’m not gunna pull away from you, Fee.” “You don’t know that.” “No, I do.” He fought. “You have to believe me. I… I don’t care what happens… You’re the one thing I’m certain of. No matter what changes around us, it’ll still be us. Just me and you.” He had said those very words to me so many times since he’d entered my life, claiming it was just me and him. I wanted to believe him. I wanted to believe him so badly. I took hold of his jumper with both hands, looking down as my fingers tugged and fiddled with the material. He covered my hands with his, touching me softly as I closed my eyes and shared what I believed was the most important thing that I didn’t want. “And I don’t want you to ever feel like you have to monitor yourself around me.” I told him timidly. “When you’re mad at me, be mad. When you’re feeling down, just feel it. I don’t ever want you to feel as though you can’t experience your emotions honestly because you might run the risk of losing me, because that’s not how it is, at all. I don’t want you to be perfect. I… I just want you.” When he didn’t respond to me, I lifted my head to look him in the eye, seeing the mystified look of adoration that cloaked his features, as though he couldn’t even believe what I had just said to him. He didn’t need to put on a show to win me back. He didn’t need to be faultless, because I wanted him with all his flaws, all the honest and raw love he had to offer. Our relationship beforehand had been shrouded in secrecy, and now all I wanted was a life of honesty with him. Tears began to fill his eyes, coming to terms for the first time with the fact that I wanted him, exactly how he was. I always had. “I love you so fucking much.” He gasped when the first tear fell.

“You’re fucking kidding. Tell me you’re kidding.” Harry gasped, sitting upright on the sofa. “I’m deadly serious.” “Chloe and Sam?” “Yep.” “Fuck off. What the fuck? I feel like you’re lying and you’re just seeing what I’ll fall for.” “I’m genuinely not lying, I promise.” I laughed. “They’re together.” “When? Why?” “For ages!” I cried. “Like… it was going on behind closed doors when we were going on behind closed doors.” “No fucking way. What the fuck is she thinking?” “They’re in love.” I shrugged, because there was truly no better explanation. “He seems to be loads better now, y’know. I think she’s the right person for him and now he’s like… the best version of himself. For her, because of her, I dunno. But… they’re really good together.” He seemed rather dubious, but Harry hated Sam more than I’d ever even had the energy to. But I knew I was right, and I remembered so clearly the time my dad had said that to me; that one day Sam would meet someone and all those wonderful things would just come naturally to him, and he would become the best version of himself when that day came. I truly believed Chloe was that person. “Well,” Harry sighed, focusing his gaze on his lap, where his fingers fiddled a fidgeted, a distraction from the obvious. “I get that. I think… I think you always made me the best version of myself, so… yeah. I get it.” The sun was beginning to set and the two of us were sat across from one another on his sofa, where we’d spent most of our day. Since my attempt and subsequent failure to leave, we had revisited his paintings, he’d spoken to me about them more, gave me a brush and tried to instil some knowledge upon me, teach me some techniques, the two of us painting together again, as we had that one time. In the afternoon, we had eaten together and been playful and spoken about absolutely nothing and yet everything, eventually moving our conversation to the sofa where we still sat. And we hadn’t kissed since that morning. That felt like a good thing, though difficult. Especially when he said things like that. I couldn’t keep my eyes off him. I had missed the simple pleasure of purely being around him; existing within his atmosphere and him existing within mine. I found that my most pensive and wistful moments were trapped inside his tiny movements, noises, his scent, his tone and mannerisms, the mundane tics of his that should have meant nothing that actually meant more than I’d ever realised. It felt incredible to just be around him. “What?” Harry sniggered. “Nothing!” “You’re staring. “M’not staring.” Clearly, I was lying. I didn’t cover it well and he certainly didn’t believe me, shaking his head and grinning wildly, mood lifting. The second I looked away from him, I felt the way he lifted his head and looked at me, blatantly obvious. It was no surprise he had noticed my stares. “Wanna hear the most unbelievable thing?” I asked him. “More unbelievable than Sam and Chloe?” “Mhm. By a mile.” “Hit me.” “Your mum knew my mum.” I lifted my eyes so I could see his immediate reaction. He went pale. Literally. The life drained from his skin as the knowledge I had shared settled in his mind, becoming so completely dumbstruck I wasn’t sure I’d ever get any words from him again. It was odd to have to catch him up on things such as Sam and Chloe, the way our mothers knew one another. He hadn’t even known that Louis and Libby were engaged. He’d missed out on so much since he had left, the little and large occurrences. Telling him had helped me to realise how much he cared, not just about me but about everything and everyone he had found in Rosebury. He'd missed it, I could tell. “When they were little, before your mum moved away.” I continued when I realised that he wouldn’t be able to form an answer. “Best friends, apparently. That’s kinda how me and your mum got talking. She came into my shop and she recognised my name, and then she mentioned the dog my mum had when she was little, and it clicked. Turns out they were pretty close.” “Holy shit.” He panted. “I know.” I’m not sure what I expected him to say. There wasn’t much to say, really, it was just incredible to think about. It had been almost a month since she had visited my shop and we had come to that astounding realisation, and it still hadn’t quite sunk in. It was such a wonderful thing. Somehow it made me feel more of a bond with my mother whilst also giving me more of a bond with Harry. It was a stunning sensation to experience. He shook his head, spoke breathily. “I… I don’t believe in fate, but shit. Meeting you makes me doubt myself.” “Turns out we go pretty far back.” I smiled. “And further forward, I hope.” The gentle optimism within his voice made me tremble, gazing down into my lap and failing to hide my smile. “Shit. I can’t believe they knew each other.” “Crazy, innit?” “S’weird. Makes me feel… even closer to you.” “I… I’ve missed being close with you.” I mumbled nervously. “I’ve missed everything about you, to be honest.” “I’ve missed you too.” His voice was quiet but confident, clear, rueful. “Just… this. Being around you. Talking to you. You were… everything whilst I was here. I guess I hadn’t realised just how much of a void there would be in my life without you.” “When you left… did you think that was it? Like… did you think that was the end? Or did you always want to… come back?” “I thought that was the end. But only because I thought things were better that way. That you’d be happier that way. I didn’t think your happiness could include me.” “Now you think… you’re my happiness?” “I think I could be.” He responded. “If you want me to be. If you let me. I could be a part of it, anyway. I know your friends and your life here is your happiness, I just wanna be a part of that again.” “I know what you mean, but… you had a life here too, Harry. You didn’t just come into mine. It was yours.” “Well then I want to live a life that’s ours.” He was being so incredibly forward, his endeavour clearly to make up for all those times where he hadn’t been upfront with me. But I knew that wasn’t the sole reason behind his earnest nature; I knew that he desired to be that way for himself. This was a new corner he had taken, and finally, he found strength in honesty, when all he had found before was weakness and pain. His truth was finally something that made him strong. I remained coy, still not giving him a certain answer whenever he had put himself and his wants out on a line for me to analyse. I just blushed, my stomach seeming to expand and shrink in quick succession as I tried to avoid his words. “Uh… It’s getting late.” I choked. “We should probably get some sleep.” “Spare room?” He asked. “Spare room.” I confirmed. He didn’t put up a fight, which I appreciated, but I didn’t miss the look of disappointment that danced over him, even if it was just for a split second. His shoulders dropped, his throat snagged, a gulp of air hitting the back of his throat before he nodded, his eyes looking anywhere other than at me. “Okay. You’re the boss.” He smiled. That didn’t help me, him saying that. Even more than him calling me boss, it was the simple fact that I knew he meant it. He wasn’t just saying it, he wasn’t secretly frustrated by where I wanted to spend my evening; I was the boss and it was totally up to me and he respected whatever my choice was. That made my decision to stay in the spare room even less appealing than it already was. Harry got up to his feet, offering his hand to me so that he could help me upwards. Placing my fingers between his set my whole body alight. Every fucking inch of it. I couldn’t believe it, but that simple touch we shared brought back so many feelings, ones I had spent that day with him trying to subdue and repress, ones I had tried to forget for the past year. I had wanted to talk with him and truly gather how I felt without the physical side of things, without my passions taking over, but then all I had to do was hold his hand and these undeniable emotions rushed over me. I could have cried it was so overwhelming, and all he’d done was take my fucking hand and it was as though I could see my future with him, map it all out and plan because I fucking trusted him. It didn’t matter what had happened, I trusted him and I knew I wouldn’t be a fool to open my heart back up to him once again. I just knew it. And all I’d done was hold his fucking hand. I withdrew my touch with speed, thanking him quietly for his assistance and then scuttling out of the room with my head down to the ground, deluded by thinking that may help me and my dire need to avoid both him and the feelings he was inflicting upon me by doing so little. I’d just wanted to be that bit stronger, a way of proving to him just how serious I was, just how much he’d hurt me. I had fooled myself into thinking that would be easy, that the infuriation and hurt that I had homed for the past year would be enough to stop me feeling fondly for him prematurely, before I’d fully made my point, before I’d reached my final conclusion. I was just drawn to him in ways I couldn’t deny. He was a few steps behind me as we made our way upstairs in silence for the second consecutive night, but unfortunately the fact it wasn’t the first time didn’t put me any more at ease. If anything, I was more tense than I had been the night before. “Thank you.” Harry said as I reached the doorway to the spare room, turning around so I could look at him. “For today. I’ve loved it.” It had been rather magnificent to spend so much time with him again. I hadn’t expected it to be quite as easy as it was, but being around him and talking to him had been as natural and wonderful as it always had been. He somehow managed to make me feel so relaxed, so myself. I’d loved it too. “Goodnight.” I smiled, beginning to close the door. “Night.” He returned. I shut him out as quickly as I could, then laying my forehead against the door and closing my eyes, fighting urges, taking a minute to myself before I ripped away and started undressing, pulling my t-shirt over my head as I wandered to the far side of the bed. I really wanted to snap out of it. I could feel my self-control slipping away as I undressed, begging me to stop being so stubborn and to face up to the fact that I should have been in the room next door. I should have been with Harry. I sat myself on the edge of the bed when I got down to my underwear, in two minds. I didn’t want love to have been the thing to shatter me. It had reached the stage where it was my decision, what love did, how it affected me, and I could either let it be something that drained me and caused pain, or I could let it consume me in the greatest way it could; with warmth and joy and devotion and desire and passion and every fucking thing he wanted to offer me. I made a split decision which side of my mind to follow. I decided how love would influence my life and command my soul. I got back to my feet, cursing beneath my breath as I stormed right back out of there, into the hall and knocking on his door as quickly as I could. He appeared within seconds, panting, he too stripped down to his underwear. “Please tell me you wanna stay in here.” He gasped, and I nodded. “Thank fuck, m’dying.” The relief physically poured from him, stepping aside to welcome me back into his bedroom fully as I giggled at his response to me, my eyes exploring the dimly lit space, the moonlight welcoming a murky glow into his stark room. My smile didn’t last long. “There’s no plants.” I mumbled as he closed the door. “No. I uh… I had to get rid of them when I left.” His room had always been a bare and barren place, but without those plants there was really nothing to it, just his low bed and unmade sheets and us. Nothing more than that. “It doesn’t feel right. Doesn’t feel like you.” I stated, staring down to the empty space where his plants had once been. “It does now you’re here.” My eyes drew back to him, seeing the solemn and serious look upon his face, marking just how much he had meant those words. He was somehow managing to make me so nervous, my stomach in knots, questioning how one person could make me feel so on edge and exhilarated whilst simultaneously being the embodiment of home. As much as I had missed him, I hadn’t necessarily missed what he could do to me, how weak he could make me. It was something I seemed to have a love / hate relationship with. It was both fascinating and infuriating. He must have noticed my uneasiness, my apparent inability to answer him. “C’mon. Let’s go to bed.” He suggested. We both walked around to what we knew were our subconsciously designated sides of the bed, Harry first quietly observing as I lay myself down and dragged the duvet upwards, and then he joined me, the two of us laying with a huge space between us in the centre, facing one another. I looked into his eyes for as long as I could stomach, seeing right into his soul. “This feels weird.” I hushed honestly. “I mean… it feels right, but weird.” “It feels right?” “Mm. I… For fuck sake.” I chuckled, hiding my face by dragging the duvet even higher. “Forget I said that. I’m embarrassing myself. Ignore me.” “I can’t ignore you, that’s my problem.” We had both tried to ignore each other, disregard that feeling the other inspired, but at that point I was sure that doing so would mean we were fighting a losing battle. Maybe it was better to surrender. He grasped the duvet, slowly easing it downwards so that he could see my face, then placing his fingers beneath my chin to gently nudge my head up, urging me to look at him once again. “I… I think it feels right because it is right.” He elaborated on my words. “There’s something about me and you, Alf. We’ve both tried to fight it but this is where we’ll end up, every time. Maybe we should stop fighting.” I had no fight left in me. Whatever it was I had been trying to dismiss, it wasn’t going to happen. It may have taken some time, but as I closed my eyes then, I felt I had accepted that within myself. I was making my peace with it, I just needed to sleep on it, and then it would be time to truly share that with him. I only opened my eyes again when I felt his touch move, the back of his fingers resting against my cheek whilst his thumb stroked sweetly back and forth beneath my eye. He had tears in his eyes. “Why’re you crying?” I asked with an ache in my gut. “I missed this.” He managed to smile, a tear rolling from his eye and hitting the pillow. “Even just seeing you like this. It’s fucking pathetic, but I… I’ve stared at the empty side of the bed for over a year, and now you’re actually here again and I… I can’t explain what it’s doing to me.” Whatever doubts I may have had when it came to Harry and his feelings towards me had been entirely demolished. Everything from the way he moved to the way he looked at me and the things he said, there was no way I could feel anxious or worry over the truth of his feelings; he lay himself totally bare for me. He was quiet, unbelievably beautiful and alluring even when he was in tears. I kept my eyes on him, my hand laying lightly on his chest. “Will you hold me?” I eventually asked. He nodded, still not quite able to believe that I was there with him, bewildered by my presence and how close I wanted us to be. And so leaned into him, placed the smallest and most delicate kiss I possibly could upon his lips, lingering within the moment a few breath-taking seconds before I pulled away, noticed the woozy look of bliss on his face before I turned myself to face away from him. His arms were around my waist within a second, pulling me back to him, breathing me in. I loved the way his body felt against mine, the strength he used to capture me and keep me as his own, kissing the back of my neck and keeping his snare secure, holding me as close as he could, tender yet intense. He handled me with care, compensating for the harm he had caused. Nothing felt better. I could have stayed there forever, knowing that I consumed every sense he had. “Goodnight.” I cooed once I felt totally settled, sleep only seconds away. “Goodnight, Fee-Fee.”

July 20th Waking up hadn’t felt that good in months. The sun was bright, casting shadows of the woodland onto his bedroom floor. Harry’s arms were still around me, like we hadn’t moved a muscle since we’d slotted ourselves together the night before, as though our bodies had relished in their chance to merge into one once more. I got this immediate sense of peace, as soon as I opened my eyes, slowly blinking in the morning, hearing Harry breathing ever so gently behind me. I could hear a bird chirping just outside his window, feel the warmth of his body radiating against mine. I didn’t even want to wake him, I simply wanted to stay in that moment, embrace it in all its glory. It was quite some time before he stirred, inhaling both the morning and me, snuggling closer. “It wasn’t a dream then.” He grumbled. “Huh?” “You’re really here. You’re really in my bed with me.” “I am.” “Fucking mad how good it feels.” He chuckled as I unhinged from him just slightly, enough so that I could turn around and look at him, propping myself up with my elbows, Harry keeping me wrapped in his arms as much as he could. “You sleep okay?” “Really well.” This time, I wasn’t lying. “Did you?” “Yeah. Amazingly, actually. Like I used to.” He always looked so good in the morning, with his eyes still droopy, hair messy, voice docile and deep. Harry was at his absolute finest mere moments after stirring, it was implausible. “Thank you for letting me stay in here.” “Letting?” He sniggered. “It’s hardly like I’ve done you a favour.” “I guess not.” I laughed lightly. “I feel like if anything, I should be thanking you.” He smiled. “Even for… giving me a chance. I know I probably don’t deserve it, after everything.” “Harry-” “Y’know what, this might be a little too deep, a little too early. It’s a bit much.” He grinned sweetly. “Let’s have a relaxed morning. I’ll start my begging again later.” My cheeks were already hurting thanks to the size of my smile. I admired him in silence, stroking my thumb across his bottom lip, taking my time to silently worship each individual feature on his face, noticing that after a while of staring back at me he just closed his eyes, cherished my touch. We stayed that way for some time, quiet, calm. And then I shattered it. “I love you.” I gasped. His eyes bolted back open. Frankly, I was as stunned as he was. Not only was that the first time I had told him I loved him since he came back, but it was the first time that I was able to admit to myself that I loved him, that I’d always loved him. It had never stopped. It had never lessened or frozen or weakened; it had always been there, even when he wasn’t. He was right with what he’d said the night before, about us trying to ignore and fight our instincts; no matter how we tried, no matter how valiant our efforts, we would find our way back to each other every single time. We didn’t quite seem to function fully without the other. Tears created a mist that clouded his green eyes, lips parted, body shaking. “I don’t wanna fight it anymore.” I started crying too. “I’m so tired of fighting.” “Don’t fight it.” He shivered. “I love you.” I lay myself back down on my side of the bed like even saying it exhausted me, made me need to rest my body. “I really love you, I never stopped. And I want this. I want all the things you want, but I’ve just been so scared to admit this because I didn’t know if you really did love me or-” “Don’t.” He tried to stop my words of doubt. “But-” “Fee-Fee, I…” He was struggling to word how he felt. “I gave you my heart the second I told you about my family. I just didn’t know what it meant. And… I didn’t know that you’d keep it.” I suppose Harry hadn’t expected me to look after his heart in the way I had. Too often his life had revolved around times of hardship and losing those he loved, feeling as though his heart had been misused or abandoned, misunderstood and jilted. I wanted to prove to him that his heart was finally in safe hands. As long as he wanted to keep mine, I would keep his heart close and fill it with all the love he had missed out on in his loneliest years. “I love you, Harry.” “Fuck, I love you too.” I hadn’t even known where his hands were beforehand, but all of a sudden they were on the back of my head and weaving through my hair, pulling me closer to him so that he could close the gap and put his lips on mine, his hands grasping so his fingertips pressed heavy into my head, his hips winding forward until his body pushed restlessly against mine. I snaked my hands up to clasp at his neck, feeling the way his jaw moved when his mouth widened as his tongue teased my own, one hand of his leaving my hair and moving down my body so that he could yank my waist so that I was closer to him even still. I hung my leg over his hip, pushed my groin to his, heard him bleat bleakly in response, hardening and swelling through his boxers and I could feel it. His fingers went to my bra as mine went to find the band of his underwear, pulling them down as far as I could without breaking our kiss, leaving him to do the rest of the work once they were out of reach, kicking them off his legs as I took his dick in my hand, heard the way he groaned in response, so loud and raw that it was obvious just how long it had been since I had touched him that way, the power of what I was doing to him. “Fuck, Fee-” He grunted. “I want you.” He lost his patience quite quickly, moving so that he was above me and he could easily make his way down my body, kissing trails right from my neck and over my chest and my stomach whilst his fingers dug into either side of my knickers and gradually guided them downwards, meaning that within seconds the two of us were completely naked, and his mouth was an inch away from my clit. “Fuck.” I was already breathless, just feeling him breathe against me, my head lolling heavily into the pillow. He turned his head, kissed the inside of my thigh, his teeth teetering tenderly against my skin, harsh enough that I was forced to bite my lip. And then his tongue was on my clit, his hands clasping my legs and forcing them to widen, eyes burning me as he watched my reaction, which was one of astonishment. I’d almost forgotten how good he was, how good he made me feel. He’d barely started, but it was the fact it was him doing it that made it feel so utterly extraordinary. The way his mouth moved was wonderous, my fingers digging into the mattress whilst his tongue worked my clit, hardly able to hear the way he moaned thanks to my panting and whining, pushing a little closer to him. For a few moments, it was as though nothing had changed, as though we hadn’t lost all that time. I closed my eyes, and all those months rewound in my mind, back to before his brother had broken into his home, before I’d told him I loved him. I was back in those perfect months we had shared, where it seemed like he was my whole world, when nothing else had mattered except us and our relationship. I wanted that again. I wanted to be totally consumed by him in every single way I could be. But I knew that this time around we’d have an honesty we never had before, an openness, a chance to build something that felt real, something that would last. If I thought what we’d had before was perfect, it would pale in comparison to what we were about to create together. “Harry,” I gasped, my left hand resting over my breast and my fingers rubbing my nipple as my right hand reached down, my fingers clasping at his hair. “M’so close.” I gazed down my body and pulled at his hair, harsh enough that he had to stop for a second, his eyes like saucers and his wet lips forming a blissed-out smile, appreciating my taste and my tight grip. He went back in as soon as he could, his hand moving from my leg so that he could touch my heat, circling and then easing his thumb into me, the perfect addition to what his mouth was doing. I unravelled, practically screaming as I did, Harry still with his mouth right against me, devouring my orgasm before he started moving back up my body, his wet kisses marking his journey back up to my mouth. He kissed me, but I struggled to respond, like everything was just happening around me and I was too out of it to actually do anything myself. “I’ve missed hearing you scream like that.” He grunted, two of his fingers rubbing slowly between my folds. He'd always liked that, how loud I was. I could still remember everything about that time in his gym, the first time he’d touched me that way, covered my mouth with his hand to try and drown out my cries. “Make me scream again.” I requested breathlessly, biting my bottom lip. He smirked, positioned himself, looked down between our bodies to watch what he was doing as he slowly pushed himself into me, filling and stretching me out, both of us cursing in time with one another. Fuck it felt so good. Too good. “Holy shit, fuck.” He almost sounded angry as he moved and kissed my neck, every movement and every touch heavy and harsh. It was us, it Harry and me, and I think no matter the circumstances it would have been incredibly intense, but it had been so fucking long since we’d been together that way, and neither of us had been with anyone since. It had been seconds, he had barely moved, and yet it was so vivaciously powerful and overwhelming that it was almost like this sexual awakening I was experiencing. Maybe on some level I knew this was it, that he was the person I would play my days out with, that no one else would ever touch me that way again. I thought it would be a tender moment, but it seemed our bodies didn’t know how to make this delicate. There was too much power, too much passion behind every movement. There was too much depth for this moment to ever be light. I clawed at his back, his thrusts driving me into the bed with so much power I thought my imprint may remain in his mattress from that point onwards. His messy mouth moved from my neck to my lips, kissing me with everything he had. “I love you.” He whined. “I love you too.” I just about replied, my words shrouded in desire. His hands were on my waist, so forceful that it was almost painful, but in this strange way it was enjoyable. I knew I didn’t want him to let go. The bed moved as he did, and I was already so out of it with pleasure that I could barely comprehend what was happening, how big and commanding he was, how forceful his kiss. He told me he loved me again, gasped those three words I had waited so long to hear him say, and then he said them over and over again until it felt as though that was all I could hear. He surrounded me with the love he had finally learnt how to give, and I wanted him to do that forever. I started to cry. I wasn’t sure when it happened, and those tears were not derived from any pain or sadness. I just started crying, tears quietly streaming down my face, my chest juddering. Harry noticed, stopped kissing me. “Alf? What’s wrong?” “Nothing, it’s nothing.” I shuddered, smiled up to him. “It’s perfect, I promise.” I didn’t need to reassure him more than that, because he understood it. He understood the emotions I was experiencing and why they had stirred that reaction. I remembered how it used to be when we slept together. We’d always had that connection that made our sex magnificent, unlike anything I’d experienced before him; it had never been bad, but there had been times where it had felt empty. There had been times where he was like a stranger and I’d struggled to find that real bond with him. He had gotten so accustom to locking himself away from others and sharing nothing real that sometimes being intimate with him had been anything but. Being with him then was like I could see and feel everything, all of who he was, who he had been, who he wanted to be in his future, our future. There was nowhere to hide anymore. He kissed me until he physically couldn’t any longer, his orgasm building up and conquering his body. I could literally feel the heat rising through his frame, watching him intently. “Fuck, fuck.” He broke, jamming his forehead against mine as he finished. I grabbed his cheeks in my hands and kissed at his lips as he came back around, smiling as I planted tiny pecks upon him, able to feel his shakes. He looked so beautiful, so happy. His face was this picture of pure pleasure and joy, which was exactly why I wanted to kiss it over and over again. We’d both been sort of spaced-out all morning, not quite able to comprehend where we were and how we were feeling. “This can’t be real.” He whispered. Harry never expected the best. Even after therapy, and how much that had helped him and assisted when it came to him viewing things that little bit differently, it hadn’t quite done enough to alter that part of Harry’s mind that always expected the worst, because so often it was the worst he had gotten. “It’s real.” I told him. “You love me?” “I do. And I forgive you. I understand and I forgive you and I wanna move on and build a future with you. If that’s what you want.” “Of course that’s what I want.” He gasped. “It’s what I’ve always wanted.” We started kissing again, wrapping our arms around one another and writhing around on his bed, obsessed with each other. He took me with him as he rolled onto his back so that I was straddling him, my long hair falling all around us, our smiles an additional part of our kiss. We cooled, Harry biting his lip as he gazed up to me. “So… where do we go from here?” I asked. “Uh… I guess we need to tell everyone. Fuck.” “Louis knows.” “Of course Louis knows, you tell Louis everything.” He sniggered. I hit his chest playfully, deciding not to tell him that Lin had also figured out that something had been gone on with us. I knew what Harry was like, and I knew it was no time for me to be mentioning Lin. “And I’m gunna move back here. Back into this house.” He said. “What? You are?” Even with all the things he’d said to me, I had still expected him to up and leave, sell that house. There was a reason he’d bought that building in the first place, and it had fallen through. I thought it might hurt him too much to stay there. “I think I bought this house convinced that it was for my mum and that was all it could be, but maybe it should be mine. Maybe it wasn’t supposed to be about the past, but it’s supposed to be about the future. My future here, with you.” “I agree. I think you need to start putting yourself first, Harry.” “I wanna live here. I wanna be with you. That’s what I want. That’s me putting myself first. Being here is my happiness, I know it. You’re my happiness.” I had tears in my eyes. My heart was beating out of my fucking chest. “You’re coming home.” I quivered. “I’m coming home.” He confirmed, eyes misting over once more. My delight was so monopolizing, such a force to be reckoned with. Harry and the love we shared was my eschatology, proving that I had found what I needed and I no longer had anything to seek in order to make my life better. He was the finale, the end of it all, the highest form of heaven that I could reach. All my life, I had heard people say that love was blind, but being with him proved that to be untrue. Love is not blind, it is all-seeing, attuned, all-consuming, intuitive, omnipotent, almighty, observant, controlling and compelling. Love was not blind nor ugly, as I had always known it to be. It had changed completely. And I had Harry to thank for that.

[har-rison-s]

teenage dirtbag

request: Can you make a thor oneshot where the reader is teen and has a big crush on him and she or he is always trying to impress with modern culture but one day he reads i dunno her diary and finds loads of pictures ( that he didn’t even knew existed)of him and writings and he confronts the reader

A/N: This is so cute! And I hope I made it as cute as I hoped to. Really interesting to write Thor. I've never done that before. And I love Thor. He was the reason I even started to watch Marvel movies. And I love him. Many injustices were done to his character arc and development, but um... TAIKA WAITITI PLEASE DIRECT THOR 4. I love Thor Odinson. PLEASE SEND MORE REQUESTS WITH HIM!!! Happy reading!

main masterlist

mcu masterlist

Dear diary,

why do I even start my writings like this? It's stupid and sounds like I'm a helpless romantic girl in some movie. But if I would be in a movie, maybe my dreams would come true...

Yesterday I told Thor about Youtube and he couldn't understand it, not at first. But, when I showed him a couple of cat and fail videos, he found them amusing, and so the idea of using Youtube. He even asked me to help him set up an account. He said he wanted to “capture” the team training or having a fight. A succesful lesson of modern culture for him, that.

Said I'd help him do it tomorrow, which is today and I'm bound to help him whenever he asks. Now I'm going to have a shower and then join the others for breakfast. After that, me and Thor will make him an account on Youtube. I can't wait. Finally, for the first time, I'm going to be alone with him. Me and Thor. Only us two. I can't wait. I already said that. Well, whatever. 

Okay, then. I'll return to you later. Hopefully, after a succesful time-spending with Thor. 

Thor looks up from the notebook he was reading. His eyebrows are furrowed and his eyes squinted. “So, is she just writing here whatever she thinks? Is that what it's for? And why is almost everything about me?” He thinks.

Thor looked so good today. - June 15th

I miss Thor's long hair, so beautiful. Especially when he tied half of it behind his head. Maybe I should ask him for his hair routine, it's always shiny and flawless... - April 30th

Told Thor about 'yeet' today, in front of others. They made fun of me. And they always do. It's started to get on my nerves. I'm just a kid. Maybe that's exactly why they make fun of me. But Thor didn't. He thanked me for teaching him Earth's modern language. - November 16th

Training with Thor. First time for me. And I couldn't concentrate. One of the most stupid moments in my life. Couldn't stop staring at his muscles that were about to burst from underneath his Tony-given tank. Christ, I still see them now. - March 7th

We had Netflix & Chill today, with the whole crew. My idea again. We started watching Stranger Things, season one. Thor was silent through the episodes. Did he not like it? Was it confusing him? Too colorful? Strange things, if I must say so myself. - July 12th

So many mentions of his name. It seemed weird. And what was even weirder than that were pictures of him. Ones he didn't know were taken. But then again, he never knew when pictures are taken of him. But these ones... These were not taken in public.

One was of Thor in the kitchen, talking with Tony. He remembers that. They were still talking about what's worthy enough to hold Mjolnir. Steve Rogers came into the room later.

Another picture was of Thor smiling, surprisingly, sitting in the sofa, a drink in hand. Thor was remembering another childhood prank he played on Loki to get back at him.

There were some group pictures, with some small doodles around Thor's head. Hearts? Butts? A picture of Y/N and Natasha, a picture of Y/N and Steve. A picture where Y/N is photographed by someone else. And, taking the words underneath the picture, it was Sam Wilson who took the picture.

Then, there are some pictures of Thor in the gym and some with him just practicing with Mjolnir, some with him talking to Vision. Lots of different ones, but mainly with Thor in them. 

Some of the pictures looked like... printed chap-snats? Chat-snaps? Snapchats. Yeah. An application in the cellphones that Y/N showed him one day. Thor liked the funny effects the application put on his face.

What was this all about? The pictures, the writings, the doodles? Some sort of... obsession maybe? Or, maybe she's a big fan of him. Either way, the pictures were disturbing Thor only a little bit. So he had to ask her what's that about. They've got to stop, whatever it is. Secretly taking pictures is clearly a violation of privacy, even to a self-loving and loathing god like Thor.

Thor puts the notebook back down on the desk it was laying on before he picked it up. He was actually waiting for Y/N in her room so they could set up the “You-tube” account. Thor was actually excited for that, but what he'd found in the notebook lessened his good mood a bit.

He leans, slightly sitting down, against the desk and waits for Y/N to come in. She will be, he knows that. Thor only left breakfast early cause he wanted to see Y/N's room for himself first. He was afraid, though, so he didn't want to freak the kid out with his reaction. Anything could be in a teenager's room, it could look like a portal to the Dark dimension or just look like a battleground.

But her room is nice, very pretty, fitting to herself. Soft tones, black bed sheets, pretty curtains, shelves full of books and sketchbooks, flowers by her bed and on the desk. There's even a small plush bunny on her bed. Very cute. Thor smiles when he notices it. She must have had it from her childhood. 

Y/N walks into the room and stops dead in her tracks. “Thor.” She mumbles, eyes wide. She's actually eating some nuts she took from the kitchen, they scrunch beneath her teeth as she looks at Thor, eyes frozen on his. She's practically hypnotized. 

“Y/N.” Thor greets, nodding. “Still enjoying earthly breakfast?” Y/N nods. “Some foods here are good, but nothing like Asgard's was, I have to admit. But,  still, you people eat it and you're not dead yet.” 

Y/N laughs. Something no one else would do at Thor's strange comments, and it makes him glad someone appreciates his thoughts, someone hears them and doesn't think them weird. Well, at least that's what he thinks she's reacting like. 

“God, I always forget to give you Belgian waffles or French Crepes. They're the best, honestly.” She says and walks past him, her posture a bit strange. “You taste them and you have no doubt about our food being at small bit bad.” Thor hums. “So, you came here to set up your Youtube account?”

“Yes, yes, of course. I was waiting for you, lady Y/N.” He responds. “But I, uh, well, I have many questions on my mind, but one of them is uh...”

“Ask away.” Y/N says, opening her laptop. Her eyes are trying not to look at Thor every once in a while. Though, it's very hard. 

“What is your blue book for?” He asks, turning slightly to the young girl. She glances at him briefly. 

“What? This one?” She points at her diary on the desk next to her laptop. Thor nods. “Oh, it's um, it's only for... Well, not only, I... I leave pictures there and uh, write down whatever I want to. Nothing interesting, really.”

“Nothing interesting? There were some things that intrigued me there, I must admit.” Thor says, boldly, without faltering. 

Y/N hums, and only a second later does she realise what his words mean. “Wait, you went through my diary?” She asks, voice full of shock.

“A diary?” Thor echoes. “Yes, well, I did. I thought it... Well, I didn't really think anything, I was just interested cause it... looked pretty.”

Y/N chuckles, but quietly. “Wh-what did you, exactly, see—uh—read in there?” She stumbles over words. Her crush on Thor is about to become very evident, if it wasn't already.

“Oh, uh, your writings and pictures,” Thor says, “May I ask some more questions?”

“Uh-huh.” Y/N says, her voice high-pitched and worry-laced. 

“Why do you have pictures of me in your, uh, diary?” He asks and Y/N's entire being freezes. “I assume you're the one taking them.”

Y/N clears her throat. “I, uh, yes, I... I like to take pictures of, uh, of everyone.” She gives her best white lie. 

“Do you have, maybe, pictures of others? Like, Captain Rogers or Stark or Natasha? Just them?” 

“Natasha, some of her.” Y/N squeals. “The others, I don't... I don't find quite interesting.”

“Not as interesting as me?” Thor clarifies. “I'm flattered, Lady Y/N. But... why draw hearts around me? Do you draw them because you think I'm more interesting?”

“Oh, no,” Thor hears Y/N mumble as she throws her head in her hands. He looks at her with concern, worried if she's sad or anxious, “okay, I'm just gonna tell you and embarrass myself in the process, but at least I'll get it over with now and quick.” She rambles, looking into Thor's eyes. The god nods. “I, uh, I just... I kinda... Well, I like you more than the others. We call it a crush between teenagers. It's when you...”

“Oh, I understand.” Thor says, nodding. He looks away and Y/N anxiously watches him think it over, what she said. Oh, crap, he's going to laugh at her. He's going to laugh and then tell everyone else. Maybe she should not have said anything at all. “That's completely okay, Lady Y/N. Thank you for telling me.” He says. “It's all okay, but... you're just young. And returning those feelings wouldn't be right.”

Y/N nods. 

“You look sad, miss Y/N.” Thor says after they both nod in silence to each other. “Let me give you an embrace.” He opens his arms to Y/N and she nods once again before letting herself fall into the god's embrace. He rubs her back comfortably, but finding it strange that she's quiet, not saying anything. He has to make her feel better. “Can we watch the cats dancing again?” Thor asks and hears the familiar sound of Y/N's giggle.

Permanent taglist: @v0idbella @inlovewithmiddleagedcelebs @works-of-fanfiction @destiel-stucky4ever-loki-queen @stfxlou @ur-gunna-h8-ths @one-taylor-one-vision@empressdreams @betweenloveandfire @but-legendsneverdie @deardeacy @fvckyeahbenhardy @thewinchesterchronicles @mavieesttriste16 @mrsmazzello @benhardyseyes @langdonzvoid @intrrverted @the-freak-cassie-131

[eimagines]

old friend // jimmy darling

pairing: jimmy darling x reader genre: fluffy and smutty! summary: your family visit the freakshow to greet some old friends. jimmy and you can’t keep your eyes or your hands off of each other. warnings: spicy stuff, you already know. unprotected car bonnet sex lol x word count: 3800

a/n: prompt ‘the skirt is supposed to be this short’ requested by  @gooberthemanatee ! hope you like it lovely, apologies for how long this took and my disappearance! this one is for you! also, I am working through all requests at the moment!

“Remember to be on our best behaviour today everybody,” Elsa announced over breakfast as she delicately wiped away food from off of peppers chin, “An old friend is coming to visit and I would very much appreciate making her and her children’s stay with us as pleasant as possible.” 

“Who’s this old friend?” Bette asked quietly to Jimmy who sat facing her and Dot on one of the wooden breakfast benches.

“An old-timer,” Jimmy explained as he bit into an apple, “Her and her kids used to tour with the show back in the 30’s.”

“She was an absolute star, used t’ bring in hundreds in ‘er prime. It’s a real shame she’s taken ill.” Ethel spoke.

“A shame it is indeed, and we should feel privileged her one wish was to visit her old family.” Elsa finished.

“Why did she leave the show?” Dot asked, suspiciousness in her tone.

“Her eldest son went to college, got himself a great job and bought the family a home. And a giant home in the city is better than this dump, so they moved.” Jimmy explained glumly.

“Now don’t ya be ac’in’ all glum Jimmy. We ain’t got no bitterness towards ‘em. They the loyalist bunch we known. Never been a birthday or holiday we ain’t got a card off ‘em. Those kids always kept in touch on behalf of their mother, even when she got sick, precious [Y/N] must always ‘ave ‘er hands full without always writin’ to our lot.” Ethel scolded.

“Why couldn’t she ever write herself?” Dot asked.

“Well my dear, you see, some freaks are born with missing limbs, some, too many and some, like our old friend, aren’t born with any whatsoever,” Elsa explained.

Bette looked concerned. 

“She’s not been in the best of health for years,” Jimmy explained upon seeing Bette’s concerned look, quieting his voice as not to cause any upset, “I think she’s on her way out. She’s been wanting to come back for years but never had a good enough excuse to do the journey.”

Almost as if on cue, a rickety old 1948 sky blue Austin 8 came clanging down the dirt road and into the front entrance of the freak show, it’s wheels coated in dust and it’s paint job chipped and slightly rusted. As soon as the wheels came to a holt the back two doors came flying open and two young boys - one no older than eleven, the other fifteen - charged out onto the dusty path with sticks in hand as they chased each other wildly. Pepper stood quickly, ready for playtime. 

“Boys! Come here, if you’re gunna run wild and not help at least put sunscreen on. I’m not nursing you if you burn!” You called after them as you stepped out into the hot Florida air. 

“Darling! Look at how much you have grown!” Elsa called as she hurried over to you, enveloping you into a big hug, “The boys too. Come come now I’ll help fetch your mother.” 

The opposite car door was opened next and the specific old friend in question helped into a shabby old wheelchair. She was frail, weak, hard to hear as she spoke with a grave voice, but gave lots of love to her reunited friends as much as she could. Elsa helped with getting your mother out of the scorching sun, making your day seem a little less hard; Elsa looked as though she had appointed herself as the nurse for the day much to your relief. You had looked after your mother ever since you could remember, and cared for your younger brothers the best you could too. You almost never had a moment for yourself. To come back to the place you had grown up, be showered with love and given time to do what you wanted was a holiday you had prayed for.

The boys were occupied playing with Pepper as both familiar and new faces greeted and welcomed you. You had been born into the freak show, grew up around it. You hadn’t been back for ten years but somehow felt as though you’d been gone merely a week. You felt at home here. As much as you were thankful your elder brother had gotten you out of performing circus acts for a living and sleeping in a cramped little camper every day until you were 16, you’d missed the atmosphere of show life. You’d missed the laughs, the parties, hell, you’d even missed the fights and the hecklers. But honestly, you’d missed a certain Jimmy Darling more than any of that.

You could recognise his charming smile from miles away. His cocky stance, his slight smirk and his ashy blonde hair that shaped his face so perfectly. He’d bulked up since his teenage years, his build bigger and stronger looking. You caught his eye, standing at the back of the greeting crowd of people, his hands tucked away in his pockets shyly. 

You approached him, thankfully, as Jimmy had worried you wouldn’t even remember him, too embarrassed by the thought he’d talked himself out of greeting you first. 

“Jimmy, Darling,” you spoke his name fondly, the way his name rolled off your tongue spreading the feel of nostalgia coursing throughout your body. “What kind of half-assed welcome was that?” You laughed, as did he.

“Still got a mouth on you I see.” He smiles fondly, remembering how much trouble you’d get in for having absolutely no filter. Not to be expected of a “lady”. “I didn’t think you would remember me.”

“How could I forget my Jimmy?” You smirked. “I mean you sure have changed, but not that much.”

“Ahh yeah,” Jimmy held up his hands on display, “Still got these fellas, you saw them right?”

“No you dingbat, I’d recognise that smile of yours anywhere.” You giggled giving him a giant hug which he returned tightly with a laugh.

“We’re having a big dinner tonight to welcome you all back so wear something nice!” Elsa shouted as she scuttled into her tent.

“You guys gonna be okay stayin’ in this old thing?” Jimmy asked as you finished tying the last lace on your brother's shoes, sending him bouncing up and out of the open camping van door. 

The old camping van you used to live in still sat old and rusted, collecting dust and homing spiders. It didn't look all that different from when you left. Everyone had tried their best to sweep and clean it up before you’d arrived, yet the heaters were broken and the sides of the van were worn down and gritty; you prayed that tonight wouldn't be too cold and harsh for you all.

“Course we will,” You responded confidently, “As long as the spiders stay at a regular distance away from me, I think we’ll be good to go.” You smiled. Jimmy, as gentlemanly as ever, had helped you carry your bags back home and even stayed help you with the boys.

“Y’know you don’t have to stay and help me with everything Jimmy, although I do appreciate your company,” You said with a smile as you got up from your seating position on the weathering couches in the rear end of the van and popped on the stove to brew some coffee.

“Yeah, well, what kind of friend would I be if I didn’t,” Jimmy asked, getting two mugs down from the shelf above your head causing him to lean into the back of you slightly. You felt your face heat up at the closeness of him behind you.

He washed out the mugs and set them down as you poured them full off coffee, the strong aroma filling the air quickly and masking the musky smell of dust that seemed to have seeped into every crevis of the place. 

You sat facing Jimmy, chatting about where you had both been, what you had been up to. You couldn’t help but eye Jimmy up as he laughed with you. The way his cheeks lifted up so high when he smiled that his eyes crinkled and deep dimples showed.

“Does the Ferris Wheel still work?” You asked with a laugh, trying to distract yourself from drooling over your old friend.

Jimmy was thankful you’d brought up the wheel, he was wondering if his oogling of you was becoming noticeable. He couldn’t help being increasingly interested in you. He always had been, but seeing how strong of a woman you had become, how beautiful and confident you were, had sent his mind into overdrive. He noticed the way you shyly looked away when he made you laugh, the way your hair fell over your glowing skin and your smile seemed to light up the dark room you both sat in. He felt overly infatuated with you already.

“Barely, it’s still as rickety as it always has been.” Jimmy laughed along with you, a thought entering his head as he sipped at his hot coffee, “Remember that old car? The yellow convertible one we used to take out at night when we thought everyone was sleeping?”

“Oh my god!” You laughed upon realisation of your earlier teenage memories, “We used to steal the keys from Elsa and drive into town! And then one night we got super drunk and it rained and we left the roof down and Elsa had a breakdown cause her leather seats got wet!”

“We still have it y’know? It's not been runnin’ for a while, far too old for it now I think, but it's parked up past the Lake. After dinner, we could walk up to there if you want?” Jimmy offered.

You’d never said yes to a plan so fast in your life.

You’d been slightly embarrassed to leave the van for dinner that evening. You’d not brought a huge array of clothing for the trip, but you had brought along your favourite pencil skirt and blouse. 

The pencil skirt accented your womanly figure, a glorious blend of both practicality and glamour. The bold red colour matched your soft white feminine blouse perfectly. The hemline normally skated just below your knees, but now hugged your body tighter than usual, the hemline resting on your thighs. 

You’d thought about switching your skirt out for the pleated one you wore earlier, but Elsa’s instance on dressing nicely replayed in your head, and you didn't want to underdress and possibly offend.

You’d walked with the boys towards the main tent, food freshly prepared and filling your stomach with growls. No-one had really paid attention to your slight wardrobe malfunction; no-one but Jimmy.

As you sat and chatted to the new members of the Freakshow, sharing old stories and new, you watched him up as he stood leaning against one of the heavy wooden pillars. Jimmy had become a proud man, a man that you simply couldn’t take your eyes off. You noticed the way in which his redshirt hugged his broad shoulders and his dark eyes glanced over in your direction every once in a while. If you caught him staring he wouldn't look away; his confident glare both bold and endearing.

Once the boys were fed and easily distracted amongst all of the interesting people they had not been acquainted with and the hundreds of activities Salt and Pepper bestowed upon them, you snuck off behind the layers of curtains that separated the back of the stage to the front. Music and laughter got quieter and more drawn out as you carefully tip-toed amongst the darkness.

Everything was laid out exactly like you remembered it; the assortment of props, costumes, missing lighting rig pieces, ropes and chairs. You fumbled with a set of Jimmy’s juggling balls, remembering fondly how he’d nervously shake before going on stage, how he’d whisper his lines to himself under his breath, how his eyes shone under the bright lights of the red and white tent.

“You lookin’ for something?” Jimmy’s voice seemed to appear out of nowhere, startling you as your fingers grip on the balls diminished and they bounced onto the cold floor below. “Sorry princess didn't mean to scare you,” Jimmy said with a laugh.

“I almost forgot what this place looked like,” you said fondly as you bent down to pick the props up off of the floor, the dusty air filling your lungs and pink tones rising to the apples of your cheeks, forever flustered by Jimmy’s name calling. “How long is the walk to the car?” 

“Not far at all,” Jimmy said, holding his arm out for you to take, “If you get tired I can always carry you there.” He said with a wink. 

You gave him a playful smack as you laughed, taking his arm in yours, “Forever the flirt arent you, Jimmy?”

“I try darlin’.” He smiled down at you fondly. 

“You look beautiful by the way.” Jimmy said, the heat from your cheeks brightening up your face, “Never seen a skirt so short in Jupiter before, and I mean that in a good way. You look great.”

“Thank you, Jimmy.” You smiled, maybe the skirt had shrunken for good reason. If Jimmy liked it, then so did you, and you’d wear it confidently, “Trying something new. The skirt is supposed to be this short.” If you spoke it into existence then you’d feel better about the machine back home having shrunken it.

The night air was cool, a slight breeze delicately blowing at your hair, the flags that lined the Freakshow waving back and forth. The stars were beginning to dot the dark night sky and the moon was full and round. You and Jimmy walked silently for a while, both of you not really knowing what to say but embracing the company of one another. The only sounds were the slight ripples of the lake's water lapping at its banks, the faded out music of the Freakshow and the crunch of dried grass as you both walked across the grounds.

The rusted bonnet of a yellow car brought you to a holt as you excitedly ran forward.

“Oh my god!” You laughed childishly, immediately grazing your fingers over the exterior of the car. The paint was chipped and rusted, the leather seats worn and outdated, the glass screen dusty and covered with a few fallen leaves.

“Told ya it was still here.” Jimmy laughed, his hands in his pockets as he leaned against the bonnet, “It knocked out when we got here. Shame we couldn’t get it runnin’ again.”

“This is so cool, I didn’t think I’d ever see this again.” Your eyes flickered to Jimmy, his skin catching the light of the moon making him look as though he was glowing. Jimmy was staring at you too, wondering how a little moonlight could make someone look like an angel.

“I’ve missed it here.” You say fondly as you join Jimmy at the front of the car, looking over the Lake to the red and white tents, the fluorescent lights of the entrance making the place glow in warm hues.

Jimmy sighed, following your eyeline to the Freakshow, “You deserved better than this place.” 

You gave him a confused look, “I’m grateful for the life I have, don’t get me wrong, but not a day goes by when I don’t think of this place, these people. I miss you all.”

“A place like this isn’t a place for a woman like you, [Y/N],” Jimmy started, “You don’t wanna be my mama’s age and still livin’ this life. You had a chance to escape and you took it, and I’m glad you did.”

“You talk like you don’t have a chance to do the same.” 

“Not with my flippers I don’t.” Jimmy spoke glumly.

“Oh Jimmy,” You sighed placing your hand on his own, knowing of his anxieties but never fully being able to understand his struggles, “This world will be kinder one day, more accepting. There will always be people willing to bring you down to bring themselves up, you just gotta know in your heart you’re the better person. Not everyone is so cruel out there, so you can stop talkin’ like I’m above this place cause I don’t look like any of you. We are all people. All equal. The world will realise it soon enough.”

Jimmy listened to the words passionately pour out your mouth, “Plus, how can anyone resist a man as handsome as my Jimmy Darling.” You both laughed fondly and you playfully shoved him. The way in which your hand had rested on his own and the way you called him ‘yours’ made Jimmy’s heart beat a little faster than before.

You watched the way his lips opened slightly like words were on the tip of his tongue but he couldn't get them out, his dark eyes drank you in against the moonlight, the way his curls fell in front of his face. The air felt a lot hotter now.

He watched the way your smile graced your face, the way your skirt hugged your waist and exposed your thighs as you leaned against the car. Jimmy couldn’t help his embrace of you. He took your chin in his hand, your eyes meeting his.

“Jimmy,” You barely managed to whisper out his name as his lips met yours with a surprise. His lips were delicate and soft on your own, it was sweet and passionate, not rushed or desperate. Your body relaxed into the kiss as your hands came up to cup his face, your lips moving against his own as his hands wrapped protectively around your waist. 

You both smiled into the kiss, breaking away from each other for a moment, your foreheads pressed to one another, Jimmy’s arms still wrapped around you tightly.

“I’ve waited so long to do that.” Jimmy smiled down at you, scanning your face with a look of pure adoration causing fireworks to go off in your chest.

“You should have done it sooner.” You replied, kissing him again with a laugh, awkward teenage memories floating back through both your heads, neither of you confident enough to act on your feelings back then. 

You were still leaning against the car bonnet, now making out deeply like you’d wished you had done years before. Jimmy had you trapped between the car and his body, kissing his way from your neck to your collar bones. You let out little breathy moans as his lips sucked against the tender parts of your skin, his hands teasingly grazing across your exposed legs.

Every so often he would look at you and check you were okay. He kissed your lips, sucking slightly at your lower lip earning him another moan that slipped from your mouth.

“Careful, you want everyone to hear?” He smirked as he moved to grab at your behind, lifting you slightly so you sat on the bonnet of the car your legs at either side of his waist as he continued peppering sweet kisses on your revealed skin. 

“You have no idea how crazy you make me darlin’, when I saw you in this tiny skirt I felt like I couldn’t breathe,” Jimmy confessed. You could feel his growing anticipating rubbing against your clothed heat. You could feel yourself becoming more and more excited, your heart was pounding out your chest and your legs began shaking in anticipation.

Jimmy slowly moved his hand up your thigh, rubbing his fingers delicately over your clothed wet pussy. “Please don't tease me, Jimmy.” You said, lust clouding your eyes as you practically begged for more friction between the two of you. 

“I’ll do anything you ask baby.” Jimmy giggled at your impatience, lowering himself between your thighs as you lay back, letting the bonnet of the yellow car take your whole weight. 

Jimmy could barely contain his excitement at finally getting to stick his head between your legs, he eyed up your lacey underwear, using both hands to delicately pull them from you. 

He was an experienced man who knew his way around a woman’s body, and whether the women of Jupiter wanted to admit it or not, Jimmy was a catch in bed. You looked down at him, peppering your thighs in kisses, yanking your skirt up higher so you could watch him as he began to eat you out.

He licked at your clit and you immediately let out a moan. He used his tongue expertly on you, going slow, then quickening his pace, flattening his tongue and sucking delicately on your most sensitive area. Your hands found their way into Jimmy’s curled locks. His dark eyes drank in the sight of you, breathing heavy, eyes shut in bliss all at his doing. 

He teased your wet entrance with his long fingers, pushing them in a little and then removing them all too quickly. He knew just how to build the pace but you were becoming impatient. You wanted him, all of him, and he could tell.

He stood straight from his position, grabbing at your thighs and pulling your body closer towards him, his clothed cock rubbing at his jeans. He leaned forward helping him fumble with his belt. He gave you another kiss, this time the desperation written on his face, letting his jeans and boxers drop to the floor.

It wasn’t long before he’d delved his large member into you, the moans that fell from both your mouths loud at the feeling of your tight walls wrapped around his cock. His hips moved slowly but deeply against your own, the feel of his throbbing cock pulling out you and slipping back in sent your mind into overdrive. 

Jimmy soon picked up the pace, somewhat desperate for his own pleasure to be fulfilled. He moaned your name, the sounds of profanities spilling from his lips and the skin slapping against skin drowning out any of the other noise the surrounding nature could conjure. One hand held Jimmy’s shoulder whilst the other you used to stimulate yourself, his cock driving in and out of you deeply, both of you sweating, chasing the familiar euphoric feeling in the pit of your stomach.

“Fuck, you feel so good,” Jimmy moaned, watching as you took your bottom lip in your teeth, eyes heavy and dark as you watched him fuck you, “You look so hot.” 

Your breathy moans become louder, your hand desperately moving against your clit as Jimmy continued to fuck you into the bonnet, “I’m so close.”

Jimmy took this as an opportunity to rip the buttons off the front of your shirt, latching his mouth onto your exposed nipple, grabbing your thighs and fucking you as hard as he could. The cool metal of the car rubbing against your backside harshly as the tight coil in the pit of your stomach released and you came all over his cock. 

The feeling of your walls convulsing against him, the wetness dripping all over his cock, the sounds of his name falling from your mouth, the sight of you coming undone beneath him sent Jimmy into his own orgasm. He groaned, moaning out your name, his thumbs digging into your hips as he came inside you. He collapsed on top of you, both of you a sweaty heavy breathing mess.

You started to laugh.

“What?” Jimmy asked breathlessly, a smile so big on his face his dimples looked like craters, “What are you laughing at?”

“I can’t believe we just had sex on Elsa’s car.”

Jimmy laughed along with you. 

“We can try doing it somewhere else next time then.” Jimmy gave you a cocky smirk, his eyebrow cocked as he slipping his jeans back on and helped you off the bonnet.

“You wish.” You replied playfully.

“I certainly do.”

A/N: Decided to lay the whole skirt thing out in a way that made sense for the time-period as short skirts weren't a fashionable choice until the mid 60′s if my research is correct! 

[mlmdarkfiction]

Josh Washington x male reader fanfic. Josh dressed as The Psycho kills Mike and Emily with a machete. Josh's s/o is upstairs in the shower and hears the screams, and only dressed in a towel, they go downstairs and witness Josh hacking the bodies up. A chase happens and Josh's s/o trips and the towel falls off. But it's revealed that Josh's s/o knew all along about his revenge plan. Then Josh fucks his s/o in the mouth and they both burn down the lodge.

Are you the same person who sent in like a Myer’s request and a Frank request? because if you are you’re a level of chaotic violent horny and I’m here for it. 

if those aren’t all sent by the same person i have a series of chaotic violent horny followers and i support and love all of your requests

anyway sorry this took 800 years it was one of the more recent things in the inbox when I shut requests

This was really fun to write!!

Read on AO3

Read Below:

It’s… an interesting feeling. Being back at the lodge with all of your friends after so long. Part of you hadn’t wanted to return, not after what happened but…you had to be there for Josh. He was your boyfriend, and he wanted this, he deserved this. So you followed along up the mountain, and to the lodge, freezing your ass off as you went.

On the bright side the way up was spent with lots of flirting, although it’s flirting that would, ultimately, go nowhere on the trip. After all this wasn’t about you, or you and Josh’s relationship. This was about your friends.

So once everyone’s arrived, and Emily and Jess have already started fighting you kiss Josh on the cheek. “Since you got the hot water on, hot stuff, I’m gunna go warm up. I’ve not stopped shiver since the minute we started up the mountain.”

Josh watches you go, and just before you’re out of his reach swats at your ass.

Honestly it’s cruel of him to tease you at a time like this.

-

It’s easy enough for the psycho stalking the group of teens at the lodge. He bides his time and waits. It’s Mike he’ll take out first, without Mike there’s no one to play the hero.

So when he gets frustrated with Jessica, and goes to let of steam for a while in another room he strikes.

It’s a good fight. Mike seemed to know it was know joke, and fought as if his life depended on it, which it did. But sadly for him, in the end, it was for not. See, Mike put all his strength into the beginning of the struggle, which is fine, at least until he’s too tired to continue putting in that level of effort. And then it was easy enough to force Mike to the ground, on his knees, and slit his throat.

It’s…an anticlimactic end. The psycho had expected, wanted something better. Something gorier.

A clean death like this?

It wouldn’t get the reaction he wanted from the others.

But he still has a machete, and so he gets to work. If Mike’s body didn’t naturally meet an end complimentary to his vision, then he’ll hack the body up until it meets his standards.

-A scream. That’s what draws you out of your post shower daze. You had been lazily working yourself over in the shower, attempting to get all your sexual frustration out here and now so that you can actually enjoy the rest of the time in the cabin.

At first you assume it’s just Chris scaring someone with a dumb joke, but then you hear the scream again. Now you pause, hands still lingering bellow your waist.

There’s no follow up scream. There’s no sound at all.

Only now do you realize, aside from the running water, the cabin sounds eerily quiet. No dumb drunken laughter or the sound of conversation from your friends.

You turn the water off and listen.

Nothing.

Something’s not right.

The anxiety is resting in the pit of your gut, and your libido has successfully been killed by the strangeness of it all. Grabbing a towel you make your way out from the bathroom and into the hall.

Really…You should have asked Josh where he’d put your bags before you’d taken a shower. Not having any clothes to change into…sucks.

If you get murdered with your junk out that’ll be embarrassing.

“Josh?”

You call out for your boyfriend, voice echoing in the overwhelming silence of the cabin.

How could it be so…empty?

There was a whole group of people here only an hour ago!

“Josh this isn’t funny!”

Bare feet padding across the cold wooden floor you make your way to Josh’s room. It’s like a seen in the movie, you throw the door open suddenly as if it’s burned you- only to be met with an empty room.

Incredibly relieved you start to laugh at your own anxiety. After all, what were you expecting-

The closet bursts open suddenly.

The door hits the wall hard enough to leave a dent, and your met with a sight from someone’s nightmare. A masked stranger covered in blood, but more than that. He in one hand he held a machete, just as stained as his clothing, and in the other Emily’s decapitated head.

Suddenly you feel sick to your stomach.

You’re frozen in your spot, legs not wanting to move due to fear.

This stranger, a psycho, a killer just stares at you. You can feel the predatory smile he must have under the mask radiating off of him in waves. He drops Emily’s head. It bounces, and rolls to you, eventually stopping near your foot.

A small scream leaves you, as her blood dried hair touches your once clean leg, staining you crimson.

Finally you tear your terrified gaze away from the decapitated ex friend to the killer. He’s holding up 3 fingers.

2 fingers.

1.

Realization hits you like a freight train and you take off down the hall, not stopping or hesitating even after the towel flies from your body. Who cares if you’re naked? You don’t have time to worry about modesty when your head is on the line.

Despite your attempts at running…You don’t get very far.

See, you’re at a very significant disadvantage.

You hadn’t bothered to actually dry off before attempting to find Josh, and so you’d left a wet trail in your wake. It didn’t take long before your slick trail resulted in you skidding into a nearby wall, your head connecting to the corner, and knocking you to the ground.

You’re caught.

You don’t get up. You don’t even try. There’s no point.

The slow steady footsteps of the killers boots are only inches away. Holding your head you close your eyes and wait.

“Shit! Babe are you okay?”

Josh’s concerned voice rings out, and you open your eyes to see him already ditching the mask to get a better look at your head wound. It’s cute, how concerned he is. The two of you have played this little cat and mouse game before, although never as thrilled or involving any actual deaths before, and it often ended with you injured like this. Every time it resulted in Josh breaking character to make sure your clumsy self was okay. “Yeah, I think I’m good.” You smile up at him ignoring the hand he offers in hopes of helping you up. Instead you rise to just your knees. “Hurts, but I’m good.” He smells like blood. It’s absolutely radiating off of him.

It does nothing to hinder your growing arousal though, especially when you notice the obvious bulge he’s sporting.

“What are you-”

Sex isn’t on his mind now, despite how much his dick wants to disagree, after all Josh cares about you. It’s cute.

You’ll assure him that you’re fine later. For now you just want to suck the soul out of him while he runs those bloody fingers through your hair.

[chac-ozai]

WYD 2nite (Dadsona/Robert Small) drawn and written for @maxamillionbillion who liked the idea of Robert showing up to your house in his pajamas looking to chill.

Fic below cut>>>

He always does like to show up unannounced. Who the hell am I to turn him away? Man, it's late though, I check the clock and it's past midnight, and for someone who's getting as much grays as I am, that's just as good as being morning already...and that's juuuust when Robert gets going.

The house is empty, ever since Amanda left. When I get to the door, shuffling like the old man I'm becoming, it's already open. Robert's standing there in his pajamas, perched against the doorframe holding what I hope is my last copy Fortean Times he “borrowed” last week.

“Did you just pick my lock?” I ask- I wouldn't hold it over Robert honestly if he knew how. “-Or am I just being an idiot and leaving it unlocked again?”

“What, I never told you about the time I broke myself out of the pen in Gibraltar? 1978? Eh? Doesn't ring a bell?” Rob invites himself in, my eyes trail his pajama-clad legs and notice that the bottoms of his bare feet are green from a freshly mowed lawn.

“If you did, you're gonna have to tell me again.”

“Psh, It's old news. I'm lying by the way, you left your door open.” Robert had a package of lite-sodium popcorn in his tattooed hand, he stretches and rubs his graying hair vigorously as he throws the package onto my kitchen table as if he owned the place. “-And I thought I was the one losing my memory.”

“...Would you have broken the lock if I didn't answer the door?” I throw myself on the couch with plenty of room on the other side where Robert had recently been making “his spot”, it was right where Amanda used to sit when we would marathon Baked, Naked, and Caked on Netflix.

“Nah, wouldn't need to. Your windows are unlocked, too.” Robert presented this fact by easily swinging open my kitchen window, a smarmy little grin on his face.

“Well then, I guess the place is yours.” I have to admit it, “Where's Betsy?”

“Taking a dump on your lawn.” Robert reaches into my fridge and invites himself to my precious seltzer, I peek behind me out the still-open door and lo and behold there she was, beady little terrier eyes catching the light from my perfect, perfect lawn.

“Ah shit. I ain't going out there for that. Come on Bobby, if you're going to raid my fridge at least close the front door.”

“Ooooh~” Robert flailed his hands beside his head, mimicking a fussy Brooklyn mother “Yer gunna let the spiduhs in, Bobby.” After Betsy comes scrambling in, he kicks the door closed and leaves a tiny green smudge on the wood. Whatever, he's cute and he gets away with more shit than I should let him get away with.

“You'se the one who doesn't like spiduhs.” I mimic him, man that accent cracks me up. “So what's the occasion tonight? Anything worth keeping me up until 5 am this time?”

“Come on, every occasion is worth that amount of your time. Look,” He procured a USB stick from his pajama pocket- “I pirated the latest season of Forensic Files.”

“Oh great, this will definitely get me locking my doors and windows.” I stretch and watch as Robert squats in front of my TV, fiddling with the system he'd rigged up for us, cracking open his drink the meantime. My dad instincts tell him to keep the soda away from the electronics, but by the time I muster up anything to say he's already raising the volume on my TV, snapping his fingers in accomplishment.

“Aight. Aight, I think this is good. Sit tight, I'm gonna microwave this popcorn.”

“Aight.” I mimic him again, helplessly grinning as my best friend made full use of my kitchen. Betsy made herself welcome right on my lap for the two minutes that transpired of gradual pops turning into a cacophony of corn bursting from their husks. Robert was seemingly just staring at it spin in the machine, watching the bag bloat out, his mind somewhere else.

“Soo....how was therapy today?” I feel obligated to ask, I was the one who talked him into it.

“You know what? Not bad.” Robert cracks his neck, and after a brief incident of him futzing with the hot bag and almost dropping it all, he brings it over. “I think I've worked my way up to not talking about movies with her.”

“Well, it's a start.” I laugh, “At least you aren't inserting yourself into the Home Alone storyline anymore.” I practically bounce as Robert throws himself ass-first onto his side of my couch, tucking his feet under the blanket.

“Well it wasn't too far off, there where wet bandits.”

“As you've said.” He and I clink our seltzer's together, my best buddy and I wriggling into our seats and getting comfy.

“Alexa, turn off the lights.” I demand, and Rob's eyes bug out of his head-

“That thing again? Man, you need to shut that thing off, it's harvesting information out of you!” Robert lunges up out of the chair he'd just gotten comfy in and goes to unplug my Alexa, the lights having already gone out.

“What information could it possibly get out of me? How many times a day I take a dump?”

“You fool,you rube.” Robert takes my gadget and throws it under a pillow, effectively suffocating it. “That information is precious and belongs to you and you alone!” Bobby looks a little insane at that moment, something I never get tired of.

“Alright, calm down. Don't get a big dick over it.” Robert makes his way back to the couch and grunts as he throws himself back on it, a testy glance in my direction before pressing play.

“You'll see. One day you will.”

“Uh huh.” I humor him, reaching over and patting his blanket-covered knee. “That'll do, Bobby.”

An air of silence comes over us both as the TV comes to life, we've grown so accustomed to the companionable quiet since we've become best friends. Soon we're engrossed in a gruesome tale, and at times I sneak peeks over at Robert's face, his baby brown eyes reflecting gruesome images from the screen. He may be utterly entranced but I can never reach that level, not when he's across from me like this. He was talking at the screen, gesturing angrily-

“Fuckin moron, should have locked his doors. Anybody could just walk in and- ugh!” He rolls his eyes, I would be lying if I said I didn't love how intense he gets about these true crime shows. Every time he throws his arms out I catch a whiff of his cologne, that subtle freshness and sandalwood.

By the time the first episode was done and the second, and then third came and went, Robert leaps off the couch and makes his way to what I imagine is the bathroom. The light down the hall illuminated some creepy shadows down towards my bedroom, and my hair stands on end- I get up and start locking all the windows in my house.

“Eeeurgh.” I could hear Robert groaning from the bathroom with the door wide open, followed by an anticlimactic fart.

“That was a good one.” I could only laugh, man I hope by the time Amanda comes home for Thanksgiving I won't be regressed to a caveman, the way we two just let everything hang out.

“Don't say that, it sucked. What are you doing?” He reenters the room to see me testing the resilience of my kitchen window lock, I shoot him a guilty look and return to my post on the couch, Betsy having already made her bed for the night on my recliner.

“Oh you know, worrying.”

“Yeah, I see that.” Robert smiles and I kind of melt, kind of. “Alright, back to the show.” Without warning Robert yanks the blanket off of me and throws himself against me, wriggling his bare back against my chest, offering to be my little spoon. He pulls the blanket over us both and remains there without a word-

Man, this is the part of the night I love the most. Robert never admits it, never asks for it, but I know he's learned to appreciate the art of a good cuddle. I'd like to call myself a master, as I wrap my arm loosely around his, feeling the welcoming warmth of his bare skin. He squirms briefly and finds a comfortable place for his head, I don't mind his flyaway hairs blocking half the screen. I ain't worried about the show anymore.

I behave myself. It's hard to sometimes, Robert's cologne smells so good and he's so firm yet soft-skinned; it could bring a man to act on his impulses. I allow myself chaste touches, small comforting circles over his bicep, his hip. The hitching of his breath when I accidentally tickle him distracts me so much I am soon lost to the TV, it's just annoying noise muffling what I really want to hear.

Damn. Thoughts where wandering again. By the time Robert spoke up, his voice was croaky with sleep, he hooked his leg around mine and leans into me hard. “Think you got one more in you?”

“I think there's only so much double homicide I can get into before I start phasing out.”

Robert cranes his neck and turns to look up at me, his eyes bloodshot and exhausted. “Quitter.” He grins, “This'll wake you up.” The bastard suddenly presses the soles of his cold feet against my shins, I stifle a yelp-

“Herrrk- God damn, Fine, one more. One more.”

“Good.”

I don't think I even made it past the opening sequence. By the time I open my eyes again sun is filtering in through the locked windows, Robert was drooling freely onto the hand I had placed under his cheek. Man do I gotta leak, and I'm pretty sure I hear Betsy drinking out of the toilet; but I can't bring myself to budge and wake Bobby. I never could. Huh, wish I could reach my word jumbles from here.

I look at the clock, 5 am. I still have a few hours before work, I'm going to hold onto every second I have of Robert asleep against me as I can.

[oneshots4u]

My Brave Girl

Summary: Y/N is a singer performing in a festival in America.  She is suddenly hit with a pang of anxiety during her performance and her boyfriend Harry has to come help her.

Warnings: anxiety, panic attacks

“How are you feeling about today?” your boyfriend asked, bringing you a cup of coffee.  You smiled sheepishly and took it from him, looking around your tour bus.

“Okay, I think,” you responded, reaching a hand up to push the dark curls out of his face.  “Just the usual worries, that I’ll forget everything, that literally everyone in the crowd is only there hoping to see you, that everything I’ve worked my whole life for has only amounted to this because my boyfriend is Harry Styles.  You know, just the completely average worries that I’m sure most people can relate to.” You smiled at him.  He laughed softly.

“Everyone is here to see you because you’re amazing, not because I might be there.  It’s all on you, gorgeous,” For some reason, this statement didn’t sit right with you.  In the past, you’d felt that because a lot of these people knew who you were because of Harry, there was a lot less pressure on you.  They only wanted to see your famous boyfriend, and tolerated you.  By allowing yourself to believe in your own worth, you were accepting a LOT more pressure.

“You okay babe?” You were snapped from your thoughts by Harry’s hand moving to hold yours softly.  You nodded at him and finished your coffee. 

“I have to go get ready, are you coming with or hanging here?”

“I’ll stay here for now, but I’ll come catch your set later, yeah?  I have a conference call so might miss the first couple minutes but I promise I’ll be there as fast as I can.”  

“Sounds good!  I love you,”  You stood up and leant across to kiss him.

“I love you, good luck, sing well,”  He kissed you back hard, repeating the mantra you had said to him for all of his concerts, glad that he was finally able to return the favour and watch you live your dream.

As you applied your makeup, you were ashamed to admit that you weren’t feeling your best.  Your hands slowly began shaking as the clock ticked closer to your set time, and you thought over your past of singing in bars and on streets, before falling into a relationship with one of the most famous men of all time, gaining hundreds of thousands of followers and so many gig bookings overnight.  Playing this travelling festival was a dream come true, and Harry had been by your side for the whole thing, taking flights and buses across America for the 37504th time, but seeing it in a whole new way because it was your first.  He never once complained about the long hours or early mornings, and supported you perfectly, and you were endlessly grateful, as not only was he the best boyfriend, he was honestly the reason all this had happened so fast.  As much as he tried to convince you it was all your hard work, you were known to a freaking lot more people than you had been a year ago, and honestly you weren’t certain if you were ready for this level of fame or the size of the crowds that showed up day after day.

You glanced at your phone as a crew member laced a wire through your shirt and handed you a mic.  A text from Harry popped up:  “Good luck, sexy, I love you forever xx”

You smiled slightly, feeling a short moment of relief before the butterflies returned ferociously to your stomach and your fingers commenced their trembling.  You couldn’t help but think that if Harry had been there you would have felt a lot calmer, but he had to work and that was okay, and you didn’t need him, you could do this on your own, you were okay.  You let these thoughts wash over you constantly until you got the thumbs up from another crew member and ran out on stage.  

The lights were bright, the crowd was bouncing, the sun was blaring down, and everything was good.  At least, it seemed that way to everyone but you.  You kept glancing over to your bandmates who didn’t seem to be concerned at all, but to you, everything felt wrong, and every single move you made was measured and second guessed.  Every time you looked backstage and Harry wasn’t in his usual place you felt worse.  Eventually, you weren’t even sure how to sing anymore, nevermind the lyrics to your song.  It felt like your body had given up on fighting the anxiety and had allowed it to wash over you completely.  You felt like you were drowning.  Your voice faltered as you looked over to Harry’s usual spot one last time, and you felt the mic drop from your hand.  The crowd sang along in your silence, but began to quiet down when the front rows started mumbling about something being wrong.  Your band kept playing until you stumbled and leaned back against a huge speaker.  You couldn’t feel your legs.  You couldn’t see anything.  You could hardly breathe.  

“Somebody help her!” A girl in the front shouted.  The music stopped, the speakers backfired and filled your ears with a loud screeching.  You clamped your hands over your ears and fell to the ground weakly.  The crowd roared with screaming girls as you felt two arms scoop you up and run you off the stage.

Cold water was splashed down your arms as you were laid down on a blanket on the ground.  You gasped desperately and clutched onto Harry’s bicep.

“Harry,” you whimpered, looking up at him.

“It’s okay baby, I’m here, you’re gunna be okay,” he stroked your hair softly, holding a bottle of water in his other hand.  His eyes were filled with concern.  His eyebrows furrowed together.

“Harry…  I can’t breathe,”  he looked around, realising people had heard about what happened, and crowds were beginning to form behind the fences.  He moved around to block them from your sight, and so his back was turned.  Girls were chanting Harry’s name and screaming for him as he looked after you.  It filled him with anger.

“Babe I’m taking you to the bus, okay?”  You nodded weakly, letting tears fall down your cheeks.

He scooped you up and carried you all the way back to the bus, whispering to you the whole time, feeling your limbs shake in his arms.  When you finally arrived, he laid you down on top of your bed and looked at you.  

“What can I do?” he asked, pushing his hair out of his face.

“I don’t know,” you whispered, covering your face with your hands as it crumpled and you broke down into huge sobs that racked your whole body.  

“Baby,” he whispered, lying down beside you and stroking your hair.  “You did so well, you’re doing amazing gorgeous, you’ve lived through every single panic attack you’ve ever had, and this one is no different, yeah? You’re safe now.”

You took more shaky breaths and removed your hands.  You looked up at the ceiling with little emotion in your eyes, the only indication of your sadness being the redness in your cheeks and the occasional tremble of your bottom lip.  You were totally exhausted, physically and emotionally.  

After what seemed like an eternity, Harry spoke.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” You sighed and hesitated.

“I just didn’t feel right going into it, and I just felt so awful, and then it was so loud and so hot and then my sight went all fuzzy and my ears were ringing and everything went wrong.”  You took a breath as your lip started wobbling harder.  

“I’ve never seen one that bad babe, I should have been there, you should have texted me and I’d have been there.” 

“I want to be able to do this!”

“Darling, I’m not sure you’re ready for it, mentally-”

“No!” you sat up, suddenly very frustrated.  “I had to beg you and my manager and prove I was ready for this, I can’t lose it now.”  A lump formed in your throat and tears prickled your eyes again.  “This is my dream,”  Harry sat up beside you and dried your tears with his shirtsleeve.  

“I know it’s your dream, but you were really thrust into this world and it is scary!”  He moved some hair out of your face and tucked it behind your ear.  You pressed your cheek into his palm, allowing his large hand to give you some comfort.  He sighed softly.  “I think you should take a few days off, allow yourself to slow down a little.  I can talk to management if you want?”

You looked up at him with your big, glassy eyes.  He raised his eyebrows, as if to ask you “what do you think?”.  You nodded.  

“Okay,” you whispered.  With that, he pulled you up into his lap and kissed your forehead.  You wrapped your arms around his shoulders and nestled your face into his neck.  Harry’s fingertips traced up and down your back softly, the cool metal of his rings grazing against your hot skin every so often.  “Can you talk to him later though?  I don’t want to be alone,” dimples appeared in Harry’s cheeks as he smiled softly. 

“Of course baby, you wanna cuddle?”  You nodded back to him, already feeling sleepy (probably the exhaustion from the anxiety), and allowed Harry to lay you down on your side.  A strong and familiar chest pressed to your back and a tattooed arm snaked around your side, and the long fingers laced with yours.  A soft kiss was pressed to your shoulder.  “I love you, my brave, brave, girl.”

[chuffyfan87]

An Offer I Can't Refuse. Part 1a (NSFW)

Cowritten with @fairheads. Set during Series 5. What started as a joke takes a serious turn...

-x-

“Can’t stop thinking about that little boy though...”

“Yeah, what you parents go through hey?”

“Ah, you’ll find out one day...”

“Oh no I won’t!”

“Oh yes you will...”

“Oh no I won’t...”

“Making me an offer I can’t refuse!?”

-x-

It had been a silly offhand joke but for some reason it had stuck in her head ever since, even three weeks later.

Tonight was a rare night to herself. Her mum had offered to have Peter for the night so Duffy had decided to see if Charlie fancied a couple of drinks and a catch up down the pub. A rare treat for both of them these days, what with Duffy busy attempting to balance single motherhood with her responsibilities as Sister and Charlie always engaged in one fight or another with the suits upstairs.

Charlie was excited to spend some long overdue time with his best friend and arrived earlier than her. He pulled up a bar stool and ordered a pint, chatting to the bar man.

Duffy eventually arrived about half an hour later, looking a little flustered. Deep down she knew that Charlie wouldn't really care but it had been such a long time since she'd been out on a night out that she'd wanted to make an effort.

“Hey Duffy,” Charlie greeted her, pulling up another bar stool. He noticed that she seemed flushed and a little stressed out, but decided not to mention it.

"Is that mine?" She asked, indicating the wine on the bar.

“Of course,” Charlie smiled.

She picked it up and took a large gulp. "Ah!"

“How are things?” He asked tentatively.

"Fine." She replied dismissively.

“That good hey?” He could see right through her and she knew it.

Duffy rolled her eyes. "I'm just tired that's all." She shrugged, taking another sip of her drink as she sat down.

“You parents have a tough time with sleep hey!?” Charlie replied sympathetically.

"Especially when he doesn't seem to understand that night time equals sleep time."

Charlie grimaced, he couldn’t imagine having such interrupted sleep. “How is Peter?”

Duffy's face lit up. "He's great! He's really got a handle on crawling now. I don't think it'll be long before he's walking. Loves his food too."

Charlie smiled, he loved how animated Duffy became when talking about her son. “That’s great, is he talking much?” Charlie was oblivious to childhood milestones.

"He babbles a bit. I keep trying to get him to say mama but he's not quite there yet."

“That’s great! I’ll have to come and see if I can get him to say Charlie first..!” He laughed.

"You would too!" She giggled, nudging his arm.

“I so would!” He laughed again, she knew him well.

The conversation and drinks flowed easily until Duffy broached a topic that put Charlie ill at ease.

"So what happened with that pretty blonde you were seeing?" Duffy asked.

Charlie swallowed hard, he didn’t really want to go into it with Duffy but he knew that she probably wouldn’t let it go. “She called things off...” Charlie took another gulp of his beer.

"But you're such a great bloke, what was her problem?" By this point Duffy was getting a little tipsy.

“I ask myself that constantly... Every time I think I might have found someone, it just doesn’t work out.” Charlie looked down.

She squeezed his shoulder. "It will one day. Trust me, you'll look back years from now surrounded by the perfect wife and a bunch of lovely kids and wonder what you were worried about."

He smiled at her gratefully. “I’m not so sure all of that is going to happen for me Duffy. You know the wife and 2.4 children thing...” Charlie didn’t believe her at all.

"But you'd like it to?"

“Of course, there must be nothing better than having a little one of your own?”

"Despite the circumstances that led to me having him and the nights when he's such hard work he's hands down the best thing that's ever happened to me." Duffy grinned broadly.

“I can tell, you look so happy when you talk about him.” Charlie poked her affectionately. “I’m pleased for you Duffy.”

"I honestly do believe you'll be a dad one day."

“Oh really? Are you making me another offer?” He laughed dismissively.

"Would you take me up on it if I did?" She giggled.

“Hell yeah!” He laughed, still not really quite believing what she was asking.

"You're really that desperate to get your leg over?" She continued to giggle.

Charlie laughed back. “Not desperate, but you’re pretty hot, how could I resist!?”

"Thanks, I think..!" She giggled.

“Take it as a compliment,” He touched her arm, the beer clearly having a big effect.

"You understand I'm so not looking for a relationship right now though?"

“I know and us, well, that would be a bad idea right?”

"Totally bad idea!" She laughed.

“Another drink?” He pointed to her empty glass.

"You buying?" She smirked.

“Sure, another white wine?”

"I'm not gunna turn down a free drink!" She giggled.

“Well it’s my pleasure, always good to catch up with you Duffy.”

"Its nice to spend time outside of work talking to someone who doesn't just babble..." She giggled.

“Would you have any more children?” He pondered aloud.

"I don't want Peter to be an only child..." Duffy mused.

“Are you seeing anyone at the moment for there to be potential for that?”

Duffy snorted derisively. "Babies tend to put men off."

“You’ll meet someone Duffy and they’ll love you so much, it won’t matter at all.”

"Since when did you become the optimist out of the two of us?!"

Charlie laughed, “I know... Must be the beer!?”

"It'll be interesting to see if you still think this is a good idea when you're sober."

“What idea? What have I signed up to?”

"Me helping you become a dad."

Charlie looked taken aback. “Is that what we agreed?” He laughed nervously.

"You suddenly getting stage fright Fairhead?" She teased gently.

“Oh no, I just didn’t realise you were actually being serious!?”

"You'd be a great dad and I hate the idea of you missing out on that coz you can't get your act together when it comes to relationships."

“Wow you’re actually serious!? That must be strong wine Duffy!”

She snorted loudly.

“You’d really have a baby with me? How would that work?” Charlie asked.

"Well I don't know about you but I don't have the money lying around for a private clinic..." She shrugged.

“Okay, well me neither...”

"So that leaves the old fashioned way..." She giggled.

“Us having sex?” He asked in disbelief, it was secretly something he’d always fancied having a go at.

"Well yes..!" She giggled.

“Oh... Er... Okay, I mean... That sounds good? I mean...” Charlie stumbled over his words.

"Your enthusiasm is doing wonders for my ego!" She giggled, slurring her words slightly.

“Oh no, I think quite the opposite. I should just be quiet...” Charlie was also feeling quite tipsy and his words were not coming out right at all.

"Huh? You mean you do want to sleep with me?" She asked a little louder than she intended.

Charlie went bright red and didn’t reply.

Duffy broke into awkward giggles as she realised that half the people in the bar had turned around to stare at them.

Charlie could feel everyone’s eyes on him, so he just sank the rest of his pint.

Duffy necked her remaining wine and lent towards him. "Maybe we should take this elsewhere..?"

“I think that might be best,” Charlie replied and followed her out of the pub.

"Um... Mum's at mine with Peter..." She started hesitantly.

Charlie raised his eyebrows. “Did you want to come to mine then?”

"Yeh, sure."

Charlie spotted a cab waiting outside the pub, and motioned for Duffy to get in with him.

She slid across the seat and clipped her belt.

Inside the cab, Charlie told the driver his address and looked over at Duffy.

She smiled at him, not really sure what to say.

Charlie wasn’t really sure where the evening was going. As the taxi pulled up outside his house, he turned to Duffy. “Are you sure you want to come in? I mean, we can just have coffee?”

"We'd need to go inside to have coffee..." She giggled.

“You know what I mean,” Charlie laughed.

"Yes. So are you going to invite me in?"

Charlie was surprised by her confidence. “Sure, would you like to come in?”

"If you'd like me to." She smiled, giving him a wide eyed look.

Charlie nodded, taking his keys out from this pocket. He hadn’t anticipated anyone coming back with him and was mentally going through the state of his flat... Had he washed up? Were there dirty clothes all over the floor? His heart was racing.

"Not a big talker are you?" Duffy giggled.

“Can you just wait there for a moment?” He left Duffy at the door and ran around trying to quickly tidy his flat.

Duffy stood awkwardly at the door, her eyebrow raised. "I have been in your flat before Charlie!" She called after him.

“Not when it’s this messy you haven’t!” He shouted, throwing his laundry into a basket!

"Are you usually this house proud when you bring someone home from the pub?"

“Nope, just with you!” He yelled from the kitchen.

"Can I come in yet? It's fucking freezing out here!"

Charlie appeared, “Sorry. Welcome to my humble abode...” He laughed and welcomed her in.

"How kind!" She giggled, bobbing a curtsey, wobbling slightly.

“Coffee? Or wine?” He asked her as she settled herself on his sofa.

"Anymore wine and I'll end up totally squiffy..."

“Coffee then?” Charlie asked. “Or shall I just come and sit down?”

"Depends... What's your usual seduction technique?" She smirked.

“I’m not sure I have one, probably why it never ends well!” He laughed and went to sit down next to her.

"And he's me thinking you're quite the ladies man..!"

Charlie smirked, “I dont know what you’ve heard but it’s all wrong!”

"I am disappointed!" She pouted.

“Depends what you’ve heard I guess...” He winked.

"That you know what you're doing in the bedroom department." She smirked.

“I like to think I’m not bad... Very subjective though don’t you think?”

"I'll let you know in the morning!"

“Oh yeah.!?” Charlie laughed.

[stanbillyhargrove]

Demons pt 18

Billy Hargrove x Reader (Cat)

T/W: Self Harm (Cat), Abuse, Eating Disorder   Cat has a lot of issues

BIG WARNING: SEXUAL ASSAULT, DRUGS, SUICIDE

This will be a multi chapter series with fluff, smut, angst, all the things

Billy's POV

I had found Cat at Steve Harrington's house and couldn't stop myself from putting my fist through his face and, accidentally into her. I'd felt like absolute garbage after I heard her scream, felt her small bones under my knuckles. I'd driven myself out to our spot in the forest and smoked and sobbed and shouted myself hoarse, trying to drown out the echo of her scream. When I returned home, Max had come and sat beside me in my room and waited for me to start talking.

"I found her," I muttered, voice hoarse and scratchy.

"I thought you'd be happier about that."

I huffed, "she was at Harrington's, Max. Tommy called last night cause she needed a ride home and I couldn't, couldn't fucking go get her and she went home with fucking Harrington!"

Max winced when my voice raised, "but you guys love each other."

"Not anymore," I grumbled, "there's no coming back from what I did."

Max looked at me and followed my eyes to my bruised knuckles, "Billy...what did you do?"

--

Tuesday- The seventh week of school

It's been a week since I found Cat in Steve's house, wearing his clothes. A week since I lost control and I could still hear Cat screaming when things got too quiet. Every day that I saw her I wanted so badly to scoop her up into my arms and carry her away to shower her in apologies and beg, beg on my fucking knees if I had to, for her to forgive me. But I was a fucking chicken and I couldn't bring myself to even look at her without feeling my heart break a little bit more. I needed her to forgive me but I couldn't stop thinking of the bruise on Steve's neck and I wasn't sure if I needed her forgiveness or her apology more.

"Billy!" Max called, "phone!"

I rolled off my bed with a groan, stomach twisting with the hope that it would be Cat on the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hargrove? Listen-"

"Fuck off, Harrington," I growled, slamming the phone back into the cradle.

I barely made it out of the living room before the phone was ringing again.

I spun on my heel and grabbed the phone, "what?"

"Billy, you gotta-"

I hung up on Steve again and looked at Max, lounging on the couch, "Hargrove calls again, tell him to fuck off. I'm not answering."

Max nodded as I left the room and I heard her answer the phone as I flopped onto my bed again.

Not fifteen minutes later, I heard a car pull into the driveway, skidding to a quick stop. But Neil and Susan weren't supposed to be home for a few hours at least. Max answered the door and cautiously walked into my room, hands twisting in front of her.

"Maxine," I grumbled, "what do you want?"

She breathed out before answering, "I told him you didn't want to talk, Billy. Just like you asked but..well..he's at the door."

I arched an eyebrow at her, "who are you talking about?"

"Steve. Steve's here, Billy. Says he needs to talk to you, it's important."

I huffed, rolling my eyes, "tell him to fuck off."

She stepped closer to me, frowning, "Billy, maybe you should see what he wants. He's not gunna leave."

I groaned, rolling my eyes as I stood up and stormed to the front door, squaring my shoulders and clenching my jaw when I saw Steve in the door frame.

"The fuck you doing here, Harrington? I didn't fuck up your face good enough the first time?"

Steve looked at me with a huff, the bruises on his face a stark contrast against his skin, "shut up, listen. Have you heard from Cat?"

"What? She get bored of you already?"

Steve bristled, his jaw ticking, "Billy. Just, it's important. Have you talked to her? Or seen her since yesterday?"

My eyebrows knit together, "no, Steve, I haven't talked to her since your house."

"Fuck!" Steve growled, turning to stalk back to his car.

I followed him down the front steps, confused, "Harrington, stop. What's going on?"

He spun around and instantly I could see just how stressed he was, how the darkness under his eyes was from more than just the bruises.

"She's missing."

"What are you talking about?" I huffed, crossing my arms across my chest, "she was at school."

"Yeah, yesterday. She wasn't there today, not at home either."

"Probably skipped today, maybe she went around town. Doesn't mean she's missing."

Steve shook his head, taking a few steps back towards me, "that's what I hoped at first but no, you don't understand-"

"Gettin real fucking sick of hearing I don't understand, Steve," I growled, "just fucking tell me what's going on."

Steve pinched the bridge of his nose, groaning to himself, "she, I....fuck, I'm worried she hurt herself."

"What do you mean? Hurt herself, how?"

Steve puffed out his cheeks with a long exhale, "Hargrove, it's not-"

I stepped up to Steve, muscles tensing under my skin, "quit fucking around, Steve. What the fuck are you talking about?"

"She hurt herself, bad, real fucking bad, man. On Saturday...and I, I had to, to save her," Steve was tripping over his words, his whole body shaking as tears formed in his eyes, "she was bleeding and, and it was on me, and I can't stop th-thinking about if I hadn't...if I hadn't fucking kicked her out cause I was mad at you!" Steve spat, jabbing me in the chest.

I stepped back, unable to get a word in, not really wanting to add fuel to the break down he was having in my driveway.

"She fucking tried to kill herself because of you! And I saved her life, again! I fucking saved her and what the fuck have you done? You fucking punched her!"

My jaw ticked, fingers starting to get that familiar itching, "only cause she got in the way! She shouldn't have been there in the first place!"

He glared at me while the full weight of what he said registered in my brain, "wait, she...she tried to kill herself?"

A few tears started to pour down Steve's face and he angrily wiped them away, "twice. Well she said the first time was an accident but...Billy, I cleaned up her blood. Made her puke up pills. I told her I couldn't do that again, it was just too much, and now I can't find her, I was being a selfish asshole and what if she..?"

Steve's words felt like knives in my chest, twisting my guts up tight, "twice? Why didn't she...why didn't she come to me?"

He took a steadying breath, "the night she left you was the first time. Then this Saturday."

I looked around, wiping my hand on my face, "Harrington, let's talk about it inside."

Steve shook his head, "no, no, I can't.. I-I gotta, I need to find her."

"Well then get in my car, you're not gunna find her if you're too busy fucking crying."

Steve wiped his eyes before he walked over to the Camaro, collapsing in the front seat with a small sob. I got in after him, my heart trying to pound it's way out of my chest and swallowed the knot forming in my throat. I couldn't stop thinking of all the times I had crawled through her window, when she had held me in shaking arms and comforted me when I was bruised and beaten down. Why hadn't she told me something was wrong?

"Where all have you looked?" I asked, backing out of the driveway.

"Her house and my house, I was hoping she came here," he muttered, more tears rolling down his panicked face.

"Okay, well we'll check again. Maybe she went out for something."

"Yeah," he mumbled, "okay, yeah, maybe."

"And for christ's sake, Harrington, quit fucking crying in my car."

When we couldn't find Cat at Steve's or her house, Steve was ready to explode. He was about to lose his damn mind and honestly, the only thing keeping me in check was the fact that I wasn't about to break down in front of Steve. But my mind was starting to wander with all the possibilities now too.

"Where else, Steve?"

He just shook his head, "only other place I thought of was your house. What if...what if she's-"

"Don't. Don't you fucking dare say it Harrington," I growled.

He looked at me, his face taken over by big glassy eyes, "what if she's gone?"

I bit the inside of my cheek, knuckles tightening on the steering wheel until they turned white as I drove us back to my place, not acknowledging what he said.

When we got there I jogged up to the door, yelling as soon as it opened, "Max!"

She came running out of her room, "yeah? What's going on?"

"Has Cat been here?" I asked, trying to push down my panic even further, grind it into the floor.

She looked confused, "no, why?" Max looked past me at Steve's puffy face, "why does he look so much worse than earlier? Did you guys fight again?"

I groaned, "he's been crying all over my car. We can't find Cat, we're just worried about her. She might be hurt, are you sure she hasn't come by or tried to call?"

Max shook her head, "no, sorry, Billy. I haven't seen her."

Steve cursed behind me as I put a hand on her shoulder, gave it a little squeeze before ushering Steve into the kitchen, out of the doorway before he made another scene.

Steve was tense, his whole body shaking like he was feeling that itch to put his fist through something. I squared my shoulders, bracing myself for an outburst, a flurry of fists.

"Steve, listen-"

"No! You listen, asshole! She's out there somewhere and I, we failed her. We left her alone and now, now we might not see her again! And you," he jabbed a finger at my chest, "the last thing you did was call her a whore and maybe broke her ribs! And you don't even care!"

His words hurt more than punches, my heart crushing more and more as he talked.

I turned my head away from him, my jaw clenching and growled, "I care."

Steve scoffed, "yeah, sure."

I turned back to him, surged forward to grab his collar and crowded him against the counter, "you really believe I kicked your ass cause I don't care about her? I fucking love her and I haven't been able to look at her since last Saturday cause I'm so fucking pissed at myself! And her! If you weren't running around with her behind my back, this wouldn't have happened!"

Steve leaned away from me, as much as he could with the counter right behind him, "I didn't, that's not what happened."

"Then enlighten me, Harrington, cause I still don't see why you were the one she went to instead of me."

Steve sighed and looked down towards the floor, "I don't know why she didn't talk to you, Billy. I told her to all the time, but she didn't tell me either, I found out on accident after that first party when girls were getting drugged and she just trusted me after."

I backed up, looking at him confused, "she mentioned that party a few times, but she told me it just freaked her out. There was a girl brought into the hospital."

He shook his head and looked back up at me, "there was more than one."

"More than one...?"

@charmed-asylum @elsie2018 @savagesuccubus @speedmetalqueen @florenceivy @breadnbutternips