#like this is the kind of show they'd have to watch together

[beanghostprincess]

Dungeon Meshi is the Sanuso anime. It has fantasy, drama, and cool monsters in a DnD setting. And cooking. Lots of cooking. Sanji is hypnotized by Senshi and asks questions like Laios while Usopp explains everything fantasy-related that shows up on the screen.

[scoliosisgoblin]

doodles and some lore. I'm tired.

[t-u-i-t-c]

↑them↑

[crehador]

this season’s astonishingly mediocre romcoms are making me realize shikimori was waaaaaay better than i originally gave it credit for

[ozzgin]

Yandere! Yakuza x Reader (III)

A whole lot of confusion as to whether Reader and her yakuza friend are actually dating. After much back and forth and a coworker being threatened, the awaited confession might finally take place.

Bonus part: Kazuya tells Reader about his and Daitou's past and how they ended up working for the yakuza.

Content: female reader, obsessive behavior, violence

Tags: @vinivave @ansy-tea @evvie8 @angelicbunnee @jingerbreadoutofstock @azukoya @randomlyblues @alien-consummation @neverlandlostchild @mimiemie @toji-whore @cloudie-skay @lilkittenmitten

[Part 2] | [Part 4] | [Yakuza Masterlist]

The items are scanned and Kazuya finishes paying. He looks back, searching for Daitou, and finds him wandering among the narrow aisles of magazines and manga. They'd stopped by the konbini at the train station after their job.

"Here's your bentou." The blonde man extends a small box, eyeing his friend suspiciously. "Say, do you have an upset stomach or something? You're uglier than usual." 

Daitou thanks him with a nod, but doesn't take the neatly packaged food. He's idly playing with the cover of a romance volume, bending and straightening its corner.

"Nah, nothing like that. Just, ya know, feels a bit like (Y/N)'s been avoiding me. She hurries straight home after work and barely waves hi. I thought we'd do more things together now that we're dating."

Kazuya nearly spits out the soda he opened while listening to Daitou's troubles. He snorts and quickly wipes his mouth. 

"Wait, are you serious? You actually asked her out? And she said yes??"

Daitou thinks back to the time he gifted you your stalker's finger and teeth, the way you defended him, and the way you quietly walked home and almost held hands. That pretty much made it official, didn't it? So he confidently nods to his utterly baffled partner in crime.

"You little rascal, you! Who would've thought you had it in you?!" He cheerfully slaps Daitou's back and wraps his arm around his neck. The dark haired man blushes and scratches his cheek awkwardly. "You should've told me earlier!"

True. Between the two of them, Kazuya has always been extremely charismatic and popular with women. His perfectly combed blonde hair, his sparkling designer suits, his luxuriously elegant cologne. The handsome features and assertive smile. More than once he'd been approached by modeling agencies, and he likes to joke his lust for violence stopped him from living the glamorous life. In comparison, Daitou has the opposite effect on people. The room will empty if he steps inside. He's unnervingly tall, with bulging muscles, has multiple scars crossing his face, and his prosthetic eye always ends up twisted in the strangest position, causing him to look like he's only missing the straight jacket. Everyone is shocked upon hearing about their friendship. 

So it makes sense that Kazuya would have the required experience to offer him decent advice when it comes to (Y/N).

"Listen here, if there's one thing you should know, it's that women like a guy that fights for them. You gotta show them you care. What can you offer that other guys can't?"

The tall man listens intently, with a concentrated frown as if taking mental notes. He's not entirely sure who he should fight in this ordeal, but he doesn't want to embarrass himself in front of Kazuya, so he nods vehemently to his words.

"That's the short preview. If you have any more questions, just come over later. I'm piss tired, so I'll go home and have the nap of a lifetime." He yawns deeply to showcase his exhaustion and slowly walks away, throwing his hand in a lazy wave. 

The yakuza remains standing, still ruminating over the words of wisdom generously offered by the expert himself. Is he to randomly beat up people on the street as you watch? Won't Boss be angry if he attacks civilians? He gasps in realization. Perhaps this is what Kazuya meant. What kind of man is he if he can't even go against his Boss? So what if Boss won't like it? He has to prove himself to you. 

With newfound determination, he clenches his fists and gazes out of the window. 

That's when he notices you. You seem to be returning from work. Even more - and this causes his jaw to tighten in anger - some unknown man is walking next to you, cheerfully chitchatting and gesturing. 

That settles it. 

"You really didn't have to walk me home." You laugh clumsily to the man at your side.

A new coworker recently joined your company, and you've been asked to show him the ropes. You gradually discovered you had quite a lot in common, throughout your ample opportunities to gossip and talk leisurely. Your schedule isn't as packed nowadays, given you'll show up earlier and leave later.

Normally you'd prefer to be in your warm bed as soon as possible, but you've been feeling rather tense since the incident with Daitou. During his heated exchange with Kazuya, you've heard mentions of 'being liked by women' and 'having a crush on someone'. You thought it involved you and you nervously awaited further explanations from Daitou himself, but on the way back he was completely silent. You didn't have the courage to bring it up, so you assumed there must've been a misunderstanding somewhere along the way. 

Which, after all, would make plenty of sense. What business would a yakuza have with you? He's already shown much more courtesy than it was required of him. Hoping he'd also confess his feelings on top of everything was downright ridiculous and you're embarrassed to admit you'd harbored such cheesy fantasies to begin with. 

"Don't sweat it. You might not know", the coworker warns with lowered voice, "but this area is reeking of gangsters. I'm surprised you've been fine so far, but you should be more careful."

"O-oh...I see..." You glance at him and hold back a smirk. You doubt he could protect you from Daitou or Kazuya, but you appreciate his chivalry nonetheless. 

There's an uncomfortable pause as you stand in your doorframe, having reached the intended destination. The man hasn't left yet, waiting expectantly. He lowers his head towards yours and you swiftly slam the door, muttering something about an emergency. 

"Cute." He thinks to himself as he chuckles and steps away.

There's always a next time.

The coworker heads towards the train station in a relaxed strut. At the first intersection, however, he feels his clothes being pulled and he finds himself abruptly shoved in an empty room by an unknown assailant. 

Daitou easily lifts him up by his collar and nonchalantly throws him in a chair. It seems to be a small storage unit, possibly belonging to one of the shops. 

"What's your business with (Y/N)?" He barks.

"Huh? I should be the one asking-" The man pauses for a second, going over his conversations with you. "Could it be that you're the stalker she mentioned?"

Naturally, you had left out the part where your stalker was carefully packaged and dumped in a place unknown. To your coworker, he was very much still alive and a potential threat.

The yakuza is taken aback. 

"I'm her boyfriend!" He retorts angrily. 

"Bullshit. She doesn't have a boyfriend."

Another slap to the face. Daitou's cheeks are becoming increasingly red and he runs his fingers through his hair, attempting to calm down. Why, this son of a...

He marches to one of the metal shelves behind, grabbing his tool belt. Simultaneously, the door opens and Kazuya sheepishly peeks his head in. His blonde locks are ruffled and one can tell he's freshly woken up. 

"Yo, I just realized I might've been too metaphorical with you back at the store so I've been texting you, but you didn't-...Wait, why is there a guy handcuffed to the chair?"

He crosses his arms, with a habitual scolding glare towards his friend. 

"I just caught this cockroach flirting with (Y/N)! Went all the way to her place!" Daitou whines, his face full of indignation.

"Of course you know where she lives, you fucking stalker." The coworker exclaims bitterly. 

"Watch your mouth buddy, he ain't no stalker!" Kazuya straightens his back and approaches the mysterious man. "If he's right, and you've been messing with his woman...We ain't letting that go. Today you learn why no one fucks with the yakuza." 

The two men exchange a knowing look.

You drop yourself on the sofa and groan. Tomorrow will certainly be strange. Was the coworker trying to kiss you just now? You'll have to think of a polite way to turn him down next shift. Is it because you're not interested, or because you're still hoping to have a chance with Daitou? You slap your cheeks vigorously, trying to pull yourself out of such thoughts. 

You suddenly notice the foreign wallet sticking out of your bag. Your  coworker had dropped it earlier today while running for the train, and you offered to throw it in your bag to save time. Except you forgot to return it.

You check your phone. It hasn't been that long, so maybe you can still reach him if you hurry. Without much contemplation, you pluck the wallet and sprint out.

As you dash past the buildings, you have the idea of calling the man and asking him to wait instead. Why run like a madman? You stop and rest a hand against the wall, trying to catch your breath. Ugh, you've been so scattered today. This should've been the obvious choice, instead you sprang out. Silly. 

From around the corner you can make out the familiar wails you've learned to ignore. Whoever the yakuza tortures is not your problem. You are about to scurry away, yet something about these whimpers feels odd. No...Could it be?

You tiptoe down the vacant alleyway and try to catch a glimpse inside through the small, dirty window. As a matter of fact, it is your beloved coworker. Kazuya is holding his arm against a table, with the fingers forcefully fanned out, and Daitou has a blade secured over the pinky finger. 

You elbow yourself against the door in a theatrical entry. 

"What the hell are you guys doing?! That's my coworker!" You yell.

Daitou freezes, and Kazuya instantly releases his grasp. They turn to you, shocked.

"Stay out of it, (Y/N), this is to be settled among men. This bastard insulted your boyfriend, we can't let it slide!" Kazuya regains his composure and defends his cause fervently, pointing to the man that's now sobbing and crying uncontrollably. 

"Boyfriend?" You question, mouth agape. 

The blonde man stares at you. 

"You're...You're dating, aren't you?"

"Since when?" You demand, confused and upset.

Both you and Kazuya turn to Daitou for answers.

"I'm going to ask you one more time. Did you actually ask her out, Daitou? Did you say it out loud?" Kazuya's voice breaks in exasperation.

"W-well, I didn't...I didn't say it, but I thought..." the man's eyes dart between you and his friend. He gulps. "W-we almost held hands, didn't we?"

Overwhelmed with anger, the blonde stomps over to the shelves and kicks one to make his point, loudly bemoaning his friend's lack of social awareness. He can't believe he went along with his nonsense. Him, of all people! He should've anticipated it. 

As the coworker weeps and Kazuya continues his foul monologue, you can't help the blush that's now burning across your face. You fidget anxiously next to the tattooed man.

"Y-you thought we were dating?"

"Sorry for not making it clear." Daitou is once again twiddling with his prosthetic eye, dejected. "Is it too late to ask you out now? Because I do like you a lot..."

"Since you put it so nicely...I can't really say no~" Your ears are bright red and you're twirling your hair. Is it truly happening? Are you dreaming? Everything feels snug and fuzzy and the butterflies are swarming your stomach. 

You don't have time to enjoy your romantic encounter, as Kazuya is now behind you, clearing his throat.

"Alright, you lovebirds, what about this one here, then?" 

You suddenly remember your coworker and an icy cold flashes through your body. 

"Oh God, how will I explain this at work? I'll get fired!" You bite your nails in terror. You can already visualize the slip of unemployment. The long lines at the Job Center, you and the homeless. Panic begins to build up. 

Until Daitou's large hands rest on your shoulders. He's unexpectedly warm. 

"Don't worry about it, (Y/N). I'll have a word with Boss, and we can get you a job here. This way we can spend more time together", he suggests with childish enthusiasm. 

You glance up at him, moved by his soothing words.

"I wouldn't want to bother you like that."

"Hey, it's my fault you ended up in this situation. You can leave everything to me." He reassures you proudly.

"That didn't answer my damn question." Kazuya points out, annoyed.

"Can't we just kill him or something? He did call me a stalker, and I'm still upset about that..."

Daitou stretches and sighs in boredom, pondering the options. Once he's decided on the outcome, he shoos you away lovingly. You don't need to see this part. 

Bonus: Daitou's backstory 

"Oh, right, how did it go with your tickets?"

Kazuya is walking beside you, hands in pockets. Every now and then he removes the cigarette from his mouth to tap away the piling ash.

"Well, I still have both kidneys, but I won't be swimming in cash for the next months at least." You respond, slouching your shoulders dramatically for the effect. 

"Flying abroad is always expensive. Unless, I don't know, you book years in advance."

"Yeah. I should've looked earlier, but I wasn't sure about my work schedule. At least I get to see my family and friends for Christmas." 

After a few more steps in silence, you glance up at the blonde man. He notices your curious stare and raises his eyebrows, as if encouraging you to speak up. 

"What about you? Will you be going home for the holidays?"

He grins at your question and proudly places a hand on his chest.

"This is my home, actually! I was born and raised in this very neighborhood."

"Really? Was it not a yakuza quarter before?" Your eyes widen at his statement. 

"It was." Kazuya blows some of his smoke in your direction and you cough lightly. "You know the soapland further down the street?"

You nod.

"Mom used to work there. One of the clients got her pregnant and she found out too late. She had a room upstairs, and I just kind of tagged along. The other girls looked after me, too."

You recall one instance when Kazuya received a phone call about some drunkard causing a ruckus at the brothel, and he shot up without a word, rushed out and returned with bloodied knuckles. At the time, you'd assumed he's a client himself and maybe got attached to one of the girls. Now it makes sense. You're a little embarrassed of your obvious prejudice. If he grew up there, it must be his way of showing gratitude to the workers who loved him despite the circumstances. 

"Oh, what about Daitou, then? Is he from the area, too?"

The man frowns and purses his lips thoughtfully. After a moment, his features soften up again and he sighs.

"I suppose you're his girlfriend, after all. It's also not a secret per se..."

Your ears perk up at the strange reaction to your inquiry. 

"I mean, it's just a bit of a grim topic. No one knows for sure. Boss found him on the streets years ago, when he was a wee kid." 

He presses his thumb and index finger together, emphasizing the small size to you. 

"I don't know all the details, just what the Seniors told me - I was a kid myself back then - but it was pretty bad. Had no shoes on, scratches and cuts all over. His left eye was swollen and terribly infected, that's how he lost it, actually. Boss felt sorry for him, so he took him in.

They did try to ask him for parents or relatives, but apparently he wouldn't speak at all. Took him like a year to finally open his mouth. Even now, if you ask him anything about his past, he just pretends he didn't hear you. So maybe don't bring it up to him."

You shake your head along, urging him to continue with more details. Kazuya seems to warm up to the memories and slows down, indulging in the recollection. 

"Anyways, one day Boss' car is followed and he gets shot in the shoulder. Some snot-nosed trainees from the rival gang. They hadn't even gotten their pins yet, wanted to impress their older brothers I guess.

Daitou heard about it and went after them. One of our Seniors - he's a tough guy alright, been with the Family for decades - he told me he was sweating like mad when they found him. Daitou was just a teen at the time, but he butchered those guys up so bad they couldn't tell them apart anymore. Even bit a few bullets, and still kept going, like a crazed animal. The adults were freaking out. They didn't expect him to be this strong.

I suspect they were pretty afraid of him, you know? They were probably thinking, "if one day he has it out for us, we're done for!", so they told Boss they should kick him out. But at this point Daitou was like his own son, so he laughed and said, "What's the matter with ya, he does your dirty work and you wanna get rid of him?! If the boy wants to fight, let him!", and he arranged for Daitou to join the Family officially. I was recruited around the same time.

We didn't get along at first, I mean, they warned me to stay away because he's crazy and also Boss' favorite. He didn't hang out with anyone. He had his own jobs, the mercenary stuff no one else wanted to deal with.

You might not believe it, but back then I was an angry, stubborn asshole. It didn't sit well with me that this guy was out there, doing his own thing. I had a reputation myself, before I dropped out of high school I was pretty much undefeated. I thought I'd see it with my own eyes, this all-powerful jackass even the Seniors avoided."

You smile faintly, trying to imagine a young Kazuya without the expensive, flashy suit and polished appearance.

"So one evening I just walked up to him and told him to join me outside. Didn't even give him a speech, just rammed my fist into his face. This was my signature move, you know, I can't even count how many guys I knocked out with this punch. Straight into the jaw, sends your brain spinning. Whew, and this guy? He didn't even flinch! Just stood there and looked at me like I was dumb. I was pissed off at this point, you can imagine, it felt like he was mocking me. So I yelled we ain't done until one of us gives up. 

He understood what I wanted and finally fought me earnestly. Hell, he even knocked some of my teeth out. This one here's an implant. Mad expensive. Anyhow, as much as it hurt my pride, I'd lost fair and square. So I got up, wiped the blood, and asked him to come grab a drink with me. My treat. 

You should've seen his face, (Y/N). I think it was the first time I've witnessed him smile. 'Really? Can I? Are you sure?' He was like a stray dog after you've thrown him some leftovers. Kept that dumb grin the whole night. You could've given him a clown hat and people would've paid to see the circus. 

That's when I realized this poor bastard probably just wanted a friend. The next day I went to pick him up again and he was beaming like a princess. Heh. Afterwards he started following me around and eventually Boss called me in. I thought I got into trouble or something, even brought a bunch of gauze pads in case I needed to slice off my finger. Turns out he'd heard of us becoming pals, and he asked me to maybe attend Daitou every now and then because he always leaves a mess and everyone's too scared to deal with him. We've been teamed together ever since."

You realize you've been standing in the same spot ever since Kazuya begun talking, completely entranced by his story. He chuckles upon seeing your expression and ruffles your hair. 

"Man, I sure rambled a lot. Sorry about that. In any case, that was my piece about Daitou. I'm sure you already know this, but he's not a bad guy. Just has a twisted sense of loyalty. Once he finds someone to serve, he doesn't see anything else.

Hell, I'm his closest friend and I'm convinced he wouldn't hesitate to kill me if it was for Boss."

Upon further consideration, he smiles and winks at you.

"Or for you. Especially you."

[apomaro-mellow]

steddie falls into porn cliches on accident

Steve was in the middle of washing the conditioner out of his hair, loving the silky smooth feeling and watching the water turn from cloudy to clear as it was all rinsed out. He was ready to start washing his body in earnest now, when he heard the doorbell ring.

For a second, he was ready to just ignore it, thinking it might be a delivery or someone trying to solicit. They could leave whatever they had on the doorstep or keep moving. Then the bell rang a second time and Steve remembered that he was in fact supposed to answer it.

Robin had hired a plumber to fix their sink. She told him they'd be coming between 8 am to noon. Steve had gotten in the shower exactly at eight, thinking surely he had enough time in that window. What kind of plumber showed up this promptly!?

Steve turned the shower off and grabbed the first robe off the hook. It wasn't his, he knew that. But in his defense, Robin wasn't home and he liked to air dry when he could. She could get mad at him later for snagging hers. He tied it hastily, rushing to the door before the plumber left.

-------------------

Eddie waited for the door to be answered, checking his watch while he did. Today was his only appointment, so he thought he was doing well by showing up on the early end of the window. He was ready to spout the rehearsed script when the door opened. Good morning, Munson and Son Plumbing. You got a problem with your drain pipe? Well I'm here to fix it. Fun fact, I'm a guitarist, so I'm pretty good with my hands. Anyone you know looking for lessons?

His uncle didn't always like him plugging his side gig, but putting up posters around neighborhoods wasn't quite as successful as actual face time. Then the door fully opened and he got an entire eyeful. A dripping wet god of a man, his modesty just barely preserved in a bath robe. It did nothing to hide his thick, hairy thighs or impressive chest.

"Hi I'm here to handle your pipe!", Eddie blurted out. "I'm mean I'm good with my hands! P...plumbing! I'm the plumber, I'm here for your plumbing."

"Oh, y-yeah, we've been expecting you", Steve tried to close the top of his robe more and that made Eddie self conscious about staring.

Steve introduced himself and Eddie did the same as he was let into the house, somehow not putting his foot in his mouth as he did. Steve took him to the problem sink and Eddie got to work while Steve excused himself.

He went into his room, looking for something presentable only to find it was mostly his stuff for the club. Definitely not appropriate for a plumber visit. Then he remembered why. He had started a load of laundry last night. And when he woke up this morning, putting it in the dryer so it'd be ready once he was done with his shower.

He went to the laundry room to do just that, emptying the contents of the dryer into his hamper, bending over to do so. Once he was done, he'd be able to put together an outfit that didn't make him look like a desperate housewife.

Eddie had just finished tangling with the pipe. It didn't take as long as he had expected but his shirt was drenched now. He listened out for Steve, hoping he was nearby so that he didn't have to call for him, only to hear something...odd.

He followed the sound until he came to an open door and realized what the sounds were - little grunts of effort. Eddie bit his lip, letting logic and reason work themselves out. Steve knew he had someone in the house and the door was wide open so he couldn't be-

Eddie walked through the door and there was Steve, bent over, top half in the dryer, bottom half sticking out. His robe had began to hitch up, revealing just the bottom of that perfect ass.

"Holy shit", Eddie squeaked out.

"Hey? Plumber guy? I know this is awkward but would you mind helping me out? My robe got caught on something and I can't-I can't free myself."

"Um, okay? So should I just...should I just?", Eddie got behind Steve, hands fumbling. Should he adjust the robe or would that be rude?

"Just grab me and pull", Steve said, wriggling around more and stopping when he heard a rip.

"Yeah, okay, yeah I'll just", Eddie grabbed Steve's hips and pulled, to no avail.

"Gonna have to do it a bit harder than that", Steve said. "Here I'll, I'll try and push too."

Eddie swallowed as he pulled again, Steve's hips coming flush with his own and eliciting a gasp from the other man.

"A...again."

Eddie pulled again, harder this time. He had kind of been working with a half chub. The kind Steve had to feel right between his cheeks every time Eddie pulled on him.

Steve gasped with each time their hips came together and it was getting hard to pretend his asshole didn't flutter with each movement.

"Fuck, just fuck me already", Steve whined.

Eddie wasted no time in dropping his pants and rubbing his cock against Steve's ass, precum dripping and Steve still wet from the shower. The tip slipped in with ease and then the rest of him and Steve's hips wouldn't stay still and then he was fucking him oh shit he was fucking him he was fucking a client while on the clock.

Steve's voice sounded goddamn ethereal, echoing inside the tub of the dryer. He was giving as good as he got, pushing back with each thrust and Eddie got to watch his dotted cheeks jiggle with each impact.

Eddie pushed the robe up more, licking his lips as he was rewarded with the sluttiest back arch that he'd ever seen. He wasn't going to last and this Steve guy wasn't either. Eddie came first, one hand on Steve's hip and the other bracing itself on the dryer so that he didn't fall over. Steve's cock spilled into the floor, a mess to be dealt with later.

"Fuck...you really are good at handling pipes", Steve laughed through his panting.

When Eddie left that day, he didn't get Steve's number. But a week later their company got a call about a clogged toilet and specifically requested that Eddie come over, that they only trusted his expertise. This time, Eddie wouldn't let it slip through his fingers. And this time when Steve greeted him in a half open robe, it was on purpose.

[grimrester]

i am really so sorry to continue harping on about the watcher entertainment streaming service. but this kind of stuff (internet content as a business & marketing it as such) is truly my obsession, and i think i will implode if i don't talk about some of the takes i'm seeing.

i'd like to emphasize again i don't have strong feelings about watcher either way. i like ghost files, i watch mystery files sometimes, i watched worth it back in the buzzfeed days. i don't watch any of their shows religiously.

anyway, here's the main things i keep seeing crop up and my thoughts on each:

"watcher has 25 employees they have to pay, and employing people in this economy is good, so we should be banding together to pay them."

employing people is good if you currently have the capacity to pay them. i checked watcher's linkedin page, and many of their employees were hired within the last year or two. if they hired people they cannot pay with the business model they had before, something is seriously wrong with their internal bookkeeping/decision making. it means they either didn't know they couldn't pay these people long term, or they did know and were content with risking newly hired employees' livelihoods on a huge content pivot in the next year.

of note is that none of their employees' titles have anything to do with managing the finances of the company. they are the size of a small business but have no one aside from the figureheads of the company in charge of their finances.

this is the kind of company decision making that leads to downsizing and layoffs, which can be devastating. but you know what's worse than laying off a portion of your staff? laying off everyone because your business is going under.

"not everyone can afford the subscription, but those who can should pay it to support the watcher team."

no. $6/month for a couple hours of content (depending on what shows you actively watch and the natural fluctuation of their release schedule) is a fundamentally bad value. i can pay that much for a few movies on amazon. i can pay that much for dropout, if i want to support a smaller business instead.

and to be totally frank, even if people do sign up, i don't think they'd get enough to compete with the amount they get through patreon/sponsorships. and the fact that they didn't know how many of their subscribers would realistically sign up is a bad sign.

a pretty good conversion rate of free to paid subscribers of a service or content is 3% (usually accomplished through a free trial). given the very poor reception of the announcement, let's say about 1% of their 3 mil youtube subs pay for their service. that's 30k people paying for their new platform. that's $180k a month in their pocket.

(they currently only have 12k subs on patreon so we are being generous here.)

a sponsorship deal (based on my googling, i have less direct experience with this) is anywhere from $10-50 per 1000 views. they've gotten about 1 mil views on their last few videos. 3 mil subs is nothing to shake a stick at, but let's say they're on the lower end of the payscale at $25 per 1000 views. that's $25k a video, $100k a month if they release 1 video a week. their lowest patreon tier is 5 bucks, so even if all their subs are at that tier, that's another $60k, so $160k total. it's entirely likely they're bringing in much more than that when you factor in merch, adsence, etc.

did anyone on their team crunch numbers on how many people would need to sub to make the switch worth it? did anyone do market research on how many people they could convert to paid users? because if not, if they really didn't have a game plan for this, the subscription service was always doomed to fail.

"this was their only option to continue making the content they want to make, with the production value they want."

i watched their announcement video. a key point in that video is that they have done sponsored videos and that's what used to pay for their content, but they did not like the amount of creative control the sponsor had over the content.

look, i get that's no fun. we'd all love creatives to be able to make whatever they want. but when you are a small business with a team of employees relying on you, you have to think about making money, sometimes at the cost of creative liberties.

and they had so many other options to make money for the projects they want to make without jumping to a subscription platform.

they could have started actually promoting their patreon, and maybe done some restructuring of the tiers. why not a highly produced, special series just for patreon members? or a special high-budget episode of each series, while the main series is lower budget?

bite the bullet and continue taking sponsorship deals on some less-produced shows, while axing sponsorships from the ones the crew feels more passionate about.

schedule larger, blowout-production shows only when they can be afforded. this is what Notorious Amongus Guy streamer jerma does. he saves up for big productions like his baseball or dollhouse streams, so he can really get creative with them.

they had other options and they've tried very little, especially when you compare them to other content house business at similar scales. try guys and good mythical morning both put out significant content with significant staff, and have had to diversify their income streams with auxiliary products, shows with widely varied levels of production, etc. but it seems to be working for them. watcher has merch and that's about it, and seems to only want to increase the production quality of ALL their shows.

really, all this just boils down to a terrible business decision. it's hard to say if the watcher team is working with a consultant or anyone outside of their team, but they certainly don't have anyone internally who is experienced with running a business like this. to me, it seems very much like they got in a room together and did some extremely optimistic income ballparking with no research behind it.

and that might have been fine for three dudes running a channel alone, but if they're a business, they have to start making decisions like one.

[tiny-space-platypus]

Never really fit back in

Part 3 Stalking

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Danny's smile fell as he watched is brother's face twist in horror, watched his brother be escorted away, watched his father not recognize his own. He hadn't expected a warm greeting but had at least hoped to have a conversation or even on confrontation. Sh he could at least tell his brother he was sorry for leaving him and sorry for being a failed brother. Sorry for making him kill him and sorry for melting away. That conversation didn't happen, the look of hatred he had prepared himself to see didn't happen either. Instead he saw a face on his brother he never wanted to see again.

A look of horror like Damian was watching his body melt away again. Like they were losing each other all over again. Maybe coming here was a bad idea..

Vlad placed a hand on Danny's shoulder and smiled at him. He just nodded at Danny and walked out of the gala with him. There was no reason to stay after that and Danny didn't seem to be capable of continuing the night after that. However before they could leave they had caught the attention of Bruce's oldest. Richard Grayson-Wayne, a flamboyant and talented man who assisted his father with a few charities as well as had his own life as a police officer in Bludhaven. As well as a night life as the famed Nightwing. He wasn't stalking his brother's family he just wanted to know his brother was safe. It's not stalking.

Richard introduced himself as Dick with a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. If they were fully human neither Danny nor Vlad would have noticed the rage bubbling from Dick as he spoke to them so politely. He was trying to get a feel for them or that's at least what Danny thought. Maybe he should have just went to see his brother in his little hero costume instead of at a gala. Maybe that would have been the better plan. Danny could freak out about this when they got home.

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Dick didn't know what happened in that little interaction but he didn't like it. He had never seen Damian like that before not even when Bruce was presumed dead. Not when he spoke of his grandfather, not when he saw Slade, not even when he was in near death situations. Damian rarely cried and when he did he hid. But this time he was clinging to Bruce like he wouldn't see tomorrow and Dick wanted to know why.

Dick had always been protective of his family, the family that he had pulled together by the skin of his teeth. He would have to investigate, with the help of the others maybe. They'd have to ask Damian what to expect first.

The Masters seemed eager to leave after that interaction with Damian. Which was odd, the gala had only just begun, there were plenty of guests who were still trickling in. Were they just there for that interaction? That made Dick angier as he took a look at Vlad Masters as he'd done plenty of times before. Neither Bruce or him have even really trusted Mr.Masters, even as a Kid he always seemed odd. Then he looked at the kid next to him. The kid who looked exactly like Damian except he had icy blue eyes that kind of reminded him of Bruce just lighter. The kid's eyes almost glowed.

Was that why Damian reacted? Did this creep clone his youngest brother? Was he some sort of Villain they've faced before but not realized? Dick placed a tracker on both of them before letting them leave.

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Damian was out of it for the rest of the night and most of the morning too. Bruce was lonely able to peal away from Damian after he had passed out though that didn't mean he had left his son. He stayed with him almost the entire night as soon as they got back to the manor. His son, the one raised by assassins, raised to show as little fear and weakness as possible had cried into him for an unknown reason after seeing the Masters, of course he wasn't going to leave his side.

The next morning Damian got up at the same time as usual though Bruce was by his side sitting in a chair Alfred had likely brought him. He didn't look to had slept last night. Damian rubbed his face still slightly puffy from last night. He had inadvertently upset his routine meaning he was still in his suit. He would try to get ready for the morning, then after breakfast he would go and research the Masters. Find out more about his brother because that was definitely his brother. He just knew it.

Everything was fine, Damian had taken a shower, gotten dressed, and avoided looking in the mirror. Avoiding looking at a face that stopped feeling like his a long time ago. Everything was fine as he and his father went down stairs for breakfast not saying a word about last night though he can practically feel his father's questions. Everything was fine as they sat for breakfast and talked as they normally did even if he did catch his siblings occasional glances. Everything was fine, he was fine, last night was fine, he just needed to find his brother and call his mother-

"Dams?" Richard spoke softly as Damian sat staring down at his plate of breakfast instead of eating it. Damian jumped every so slightly that a normal person wouldn't have noticed but a bat would have. Damian ost in thought and unaware of his siblings staring. He was distracted, "I'm fine"

Stephanie's face twisted at that as Cassandra just shook her head. Richard spoke again softly, "Dams, we're here for you, we get if you don't want to talk about it right now. We just need to know if we should expect a threat"

Damian bristled and shouted without meaning to. He's been doing so much without meaning to lately. "Danyal, would never harm us! Danyal wouldn't-" do what I did. Damian cut himself off and huffed as his family stared at him. As Richard put it before he had to 'Rip off the band aid', why was breathing becoming so difficult? Why couldn't he look at the others? His mouth went dry as he tried to find the words but couldn't. "Danyal, he's important-"

Alfred's hand was suddenly placed on his shoulder. A grounding hand that made the world spin back into place momentarily. Breakfast ended soon after that.

Damian began his investigation of the Masters household unknowing that his family was doing the same. Damian found that Danny Fenton now Danyal Fenton Master was the godson of Vlad Masters. He had previously lived with Madeline and Jack Fenton. He moved to the Masters residence after Jasmine Fenton left for college. He seemed to have lived a normal life up until living with Masters. Though finding anything from the town of Amity Park was almost impossible. Every time he did something would corrupt or whatever he was looking at would disappear as soon as he found it.

Vlad Masters was a little easier, Former Mayor of Amity Park, a business man that always seemed far from trustworthy. Stephanie once told him about how she had theories about him being a vampire. His company VladCo held the patents to quite a few little devices, trackers, weapons, components of cars, and a few smaller medical devices. This led to his Fortune still not nearly as much as the Wayne family but he was still a multimillionaire. Unfortunately, he couldn't drop everything in the middle of the school year or while his family was so worried about him. He'd need to tell them soon. Damian just- a part of him didn't want to. A part of him wanted to find his brother on his own to make sure it was really his brother. That's why he hasn't called his mother yet. Mother would immediately go see him, see if his claims were true. For some reason that scared him.

Damian wasn't as good at hacking as Drake or Gordon but he was bad at it either. It may have taken longer but he did manage to hack into the Master's security system and proceeded to watch them. Danyal seemed happy, always tinkering, laughing, and smiling. He was still obsessed with stars from how his room was decorated with littered with posters of stars, space ship models, and most concerningly a model of the Watch Tower. It shouldn't have been possible to make a model of the space base but there it was tucked away on a shelf alongside other models and a sci-looking gun.

It was unfortunate that the cameras didn't have audio but Damian made do with just watching. His brother seemed so normal until the cameras would glitch out and suddenly he couldn't see his brother anymore though he'd know he was there because that would be the only camera that's scrambled. It was odd. Damian was almost positive that was his brother, Danyal Al Ghul. That was the brother he killed so long ago. He'd continue to watch.

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Tim was loosing his fucking mind and honestly so was the rest of the family because WHAT THE FUCK. Damian, the little Demon shit was upset by the Masters enough to apparently sob into Bruce. SOB. The Masters may not be a threat to them but they were definitely a threat to the Masters. No one makes their youngest cry and gets away with it.

Tim was given as much caffeine as he wanted for this 'special occasion' which left him cackling and working as he grinned like the cheshire cat. It was time to dig up some dirt. Maybe he should drag Bernard into this, he did love doing this kind of thing too. Maybe it could be a date.

Next

[cvnt4him]

can i req izuku x masochist!gf !! how would that go

Hmmm.. we all know this guy as a sweetie pie cutie patootie [who can kill but chooses not to] I wonder if he even has the balls to do anything to us chat

Izuku as your boyfriend is nothing more than pure bliss. He's such a sweetie pie like actually, he buys you flowers when you first start dating, he buys you snacks constantly, makes sure to have things on him that he feels you'd need and so much more.

He's a good boyfriend overall, the first month of your relationship is when he gets kind of okay it's the idea of public PDA. Izuku doesn't mind when you hug him or kiss his cheek in front of others, especially if he's feeling overstimulated and just needs to get away, hugging him from behind usually calms his nerves a bit, he admires you for knowing how he feels. One thing that could make him blow his pants or burst into tears is when you hold his hands or kiss them. Just showing his hands love basically.

One time the two of you were studying in the library alone at one of the more hidden tables, it was quiet and you two weren't really talking to each other either. He was writing something in his notebook and you just couldn't stop staring at him, specifically his hands. They were so thick and some veins trickled across it, his hands were much bigger than yours. The thought alone about how much smaller you are than his hands really did something to you, you started imagining his hand wrapping around your neck, and with how thick his fingers are how much better they'd feel inside of you than your own. How they'd find such a sweet home inside of you.

Your thighs clamped together to satiate the burning feeling starting to grow inside do you, you slightly bit your lip and moved your hand closer to his before you held it gently. Izuku nearly jumped out of his seat at the contact, his confused wide eyes searched your face that didn't even notice he was staring at you, you traced his scars with your fingers and a smile went to your face.

A wobbly smile appeared on his face with tears filling his eyes, you looked at his hands, his scars so lovingly, it was like you truly loved all of him and he's never felt this loved in his life. Honestly izuku feels as if he doesn't deserve a girlfriend, he always thought he'd never get one so trying to obtain one was never a priority. When you asked him to be your boyfriend he actually cried in your arms, it was the most adorable thing you'd ever seen.

Once you were about 3-4 months in your relationship izuku got comfortable with the idea of you cuddling him or him cuddling you, just you two holding each other. He was more okay with the idea of you guys being alone in either of your dorms. Some people didn't really notice you guys were dating due to lack of PDA, specifically denki. He'd flirt with you and you'd simply giggle and tell him you had a boyfriend, however he always assumed you were just saying that. Denki never really pushed you beyond your comfort zone, he knew you likes the flirtatious jokes, izuku however did not.

He assumed that denki was bothering you and making you uncomfortable. Izuku didn't know how to go about making your relationship seem more... More? Just more visible to others. He didn't really want to make a huge scene over you two but he wanted others to know that you were his and he was yours. Happily.

When you two were cuddling and watching a movie he kept sighing dramatically and glancing at you to see if you'd noticed. It was so cute, he wanted your attention so badly but you wanted to hear him just for a bit longer. He knew you were ignoring him based on how you would smile every time he sighed. His brows furrowed and his lips turned into a pout, this time his sigh was a desperate whine. He laid his head in your lap and looked up at you with those big wide emerald green orbs of his.

You giggle and run your fingers through his messy curls, he leaned his head into your hand and closed his eyes, his pout disappearing as a smile formed instead. He looked up at you with his glossy eyes and pretty smile on that adorable freckled face of his. You leaned down and kissed his forehead gently, making him blush intensively.

"what's the matter baby?"

You ask still curling his forest green locs around your fingers while staring down at his beautiful face.

He hums sits up to face you, he sighs trying to find the correct words. He didn't want to appear jealous or anything but.. he hated how denki was towards you. It just ticked him off.

"I just don't like how some people flirt with you despite us being together.."

You him and kiss his cheek making his pout that was becoming visible again, disappear. He whined again trying to hide his face with his hand, you knew how to fluster him terribly and it always got you going. He was so easy to tease.

You pull him into a soft kiss, gently moving your lips against his slowly. His eyes widened before they fluttered shut, he let out little noises inside of the kiss that began to be fueled by something more; passion. You pushed your body against his which made him lean back into the bed, he moaned as he felt your breasts against his chest. You move this kiss down to his neck and gently nipped and placed little kisses at it.

He let out little mewls as his eyes fluttered, you guys had always made out but It would be ended by izuku whenever he found himself getting hard. He didn't want to push you past your comfort so he never initiated sex. You grinded your hips into his and a whiney moan ripped out of him. You chuckled in his ear and continued your swift motions making his arms go weak, he was holding himself up on his elbows but the more you rubbed your clothed cunt across his hard cock he just felt as if he were going to collapse.

That's how you both lost your virginities, it was a magical way to have both of your first times. His moans were heavenly, if you could mast recall.

The more you two got comfortable with it, you started having a whole lot more sex. It's like izuku was so addicted to it, you could have sex one day and like 2 days later he's ready to go again. It was so easy to get him going, really it was.

Izuku always knew how to please you in a good way, but recently you've been wanting... More.

You find yourself underneath him as he grinds his growing cock into your thigh, he was suckling and licking on your boobs and leaving hickies all over them. It was feeling so good but you craved more, a thirst for sexual gratification.

"izuku.. can we uhm.. try something new maybe?"

You ask hesitantly, he hums and lifts off of you onto his knees. He turns his head to the side like a puppy, he's curious on what exactly you want to try.

"maybe like.. you be a bit tougher with me?"

"li.. like I.. choke you? Or something..."

"yeah! Exactly that! And just a bit.. more?"

"well... What do you mean by more?"

Izuku had your hips lifted and your back arched into quite a painful way, he was pounding into you at an insane pace making his bed creak, it normally didn't but with how hard he was rocking his hips into your ass the bed couldn't help but to move akong with you.

His grunts and moans were quieted with how he bit into your shoulder making you cry out loud, you cried his name in slobber filled sobs that had his cock twitching inside of you. He slapped your ass which made your body jolt forward only for him to pull you back by your hair, one of his hands that was on your hips snuck it's way to your neck, applying light pressure to it.

You couldn't help but to squeeze around his cock from how gentle he was still being with you despite rocking your body. He kissed your shoulder where he bit at and whispered such filthy things that didn't even sound like him.

"you-- shit.. fit so perfectly around my cock sweetheart.."

"god..~ you were made for it.. fuck-- made for me.."

He groans deeply into your ear, a snarl pulling at his lips as he looks at the way your body bounces back to him after he thrusts, the way you moan and cry out for him. It was all stroking his ego in the best way, you wanted him in this way. you wanted him to fuck you like a slut.

"f- fuck..,"

He growls lowly, your eyes rolled back at how gutteral and deep his voice sounded, such filthy words leaving his innocent mouth. It's like you'd turned him into a completely different person.

Izuku stops for a second making you whine, he pulls out leaving you empty and clenching around nothing, he flips you into your back in one swift motion before planting his feet into the ground and slams his fat cock back into your warm cunt. A moan ripped out of the both of you as he leaned down into you, kissing your lips gently before he started moving. He wanted you to know despite everything going on right now he still loves you, more than anything in this world.

You give him a weary smile with dry and crusted tear stains painting your face, before you knew it izuku rammed his thick cock into your cunt once more, knocking all of the wind out of your body, your lungs desperate for air. He greedily thrusts in and out of you, trying hard to hold his whimpers in but your cunt was dragging across his leaky cock so deliciously, you twitch and convexed around his cock making him whine, his stupid thick cock was stretching you out so perfectly, new tears appearing at your waterline and prickling down your cheeks, the immense pleasure overstimulating you and causing a tinge of pain inside.

Your eyes cross and your mouth falls open as his cock continuously pistons in and out of you, making your bodies rock together in a messy uncoordinated motion. the sounds were so lewd they were staring to get to him, you had came so many times that you honestly couldn't stop, izuku hadn't cum once, he wanted to assure that you were having the time of your life before he spilled his messy white cum inside of you.

The noises of your own sloppy, squelching cunt was too much, your cum had started frothing at the base of his girth cock, he looked down at where you two met and just couldn't hold himself back, the sight the noises, it was all too much for your poor izu to handle. His hips stuttered and sheepishly jerked against yours before he emptied his nuts inside of you. His body jolted forward and he moaned sluttyly. Izukus cum was reaching so deep inside of you, you sighed when you felt the hot cum enter you.

He collapsed onto of you, his sweaty body tired and spent from fucking you so roughly, his bed had never creaked or moved like that before so he was sure that something might've been broken or out of place.

Izuku fell asleep on top of you, his soft cock still twitching lightly inside of you. You whimper at the thickness of him still being plugged deep into you.

AN: this one was posted at quite an early time, I nearly missed yesterday 💀 so glad I got this out of the way instead of waiting until the very last minute like a fucking idiot

[godsandmonsters505]

Roll Like Thunder | Negan Smith

dbf!Negan Smith (The Walking Dead) x younger fem!reader

(AU where the apocalypse never happened)

Summary: Negan is your dad's best friend and the two of you settle some tension while on your family vacation.

Warnings (18+): age gap (reader is college age, maybe 20-ish, and Negan's age is not specified but I'm feeling early 50s), smut (fem receiving oral, unprotected p in v), possibility of getting caught, edging

Notes: this actually kinda turned out sweet in a way I think, which is surprising because that's not often an outcome when I write for Negan lmao. not proofread yet because I just wanted to get it out to you all asap, but will edit if needed when I get the chance. hope you enjoy!! (also the intro is kinda long oops)

Grabbing your glass of wine you take another much needed swig, cringing at your dad and uncle. They always find some way to turn every conversation into a political argument while the rest of your family eat their meals and exchange knowing glances

Family holidays were always like this. The one time a year when everyone was together: your parents, aunt, uncle and cousins. Only this year, there was a new addition.

Negan had grown up being a close friends with both your father and uncle and they are still best friends to this day. He recently went through a messy divorce and this is his first Christmas without his wife in a long time. Your dad never was good with showing kindness or friendship, but your uncle had convinced him it would be a good idea to invite him to his cabin for your annual Christmas getaway.

And that's how you got here.

You'd always had a little bit of a crush on Negan, for as long as you could remember. Though you never saw much of him as a kid. It wasn't until you got older - old enough to be able to drink in front of your parents - that you got to spend more time with him. Drinking was a big part of their social life, so once you could join in, you got to know him better. You got on well with your parents so you'd have barbeques with them and their friends, join in with conversations in the kitchen when they'd have people over, go out to dinner. But then you went off to college and started spending less and less time with them. So now it's Christmas time, you're happy to be able to spend time with your family. And Negan, more than you'd care to admit.

"Okay fellas," your mom chimes in. "Enough of that."

Negan makes eye contact with you from across the other side of the table and you smirk at each other. You're both all too familiar with watching this from an outside perspective.

"The food's delicious, Negan," she adds, turning to Negan, who had cooked this meal for you all. Sort of as a thank you for letting him tag along. For the first few days in the cabin he felt a little out of place, like he was intruding on your family's time together. But eventually he began to find himself settling. You were lucky to have a very fun, non-judgmental family so everyone was happy to have him there.

You nodded in agreement with your mother's statement. "I'd have more if there was any left." You motion to your empty plate.

"I'm glad it's got your approval, ladies," he grins.

The meal comes to an end and alcohol starts flowing. Your cousins are all younger than you so they head off to their bedrooms to do whatever it is kids their age do.

"I'd better get these dishes cleaned," Negan declares, standing up from his seat.

"No," you say, protesting. "You cooked. I'll clean."

"It's fine, you don't have to," he says kindly.

"I want to," you smile. "Really I'm happy to."

"We'll do them together?" He suggests, coming to a compromise and you nod in agreement.

"You raised a stubborn one," he mumbles teasingly to your dad, patting his shoulder as he walks past him.

"She gets that from me," your mom chirps as the two of you pick the plates up from the table and carry them into the kitchen.

Putting the plates on the kitchen top, you head to the fridge and look inside.

"Beer?" you ask, peeking around the door to look at Negan's response. Though you already have two cans in your hand, knowing he won't turn down the offer.

He nods. "Can't do anything without a drink in hand in this family, huh?"

You close the fridge door and pass him his beer, cracking open his own.

"You should be more than aware of that," you tease. "I've heard what you and my dad used to get up to."

"I'm sure you've not even heard the most of it," he teases back.

You laugh softly under your breath at his response.

"I'll wash, you dry?" You suggest as the sink begins to fill with soapy water.

The two of you get the dishes done relatively quickly as Negan tells you a story from his college days. You have to keep yourself composed and remember who he is. Remember that these stories he's telling of him at your age took place before you were even born. A decade before, at least. But, every so often, as you pass him the plates to dry, your fingers touch his and such a small motion has you weak. You can't look him directly in the eyes as he stands so close to you. That signature grin of his spread across his face.

The two of your finish and you take a large swig of your beer, but it's no surprise that the flush of alcohol doesn't help your body heat. You can only hope and pray that your cheeks aren't beetroot red right now.

"I'm sure you've got plenty of stories, though, right?" He asks. "Being in college and all. And with your dad's genes...God."

A playful smile spreads on your face. "Sure. I'm absolutely not telling you though. My dad would have a heart attack."

"Ahh," he smiles back. "So this whole 'good girl' thing is just an act, then?"

Holy shit. Good girl? He has no clue what he is doing to you calling you things like that.

"I can be good when it suits me." You say, almost flirtatiously, and immediately kick yourself. Why the hell would you say something like that to him?

Your off-the-cuff reply has him grinning. He swipes his tongue over his teeth as he contemplates your words and you almost drop to your knees.

"Let's go see what political debate has become the talking point now," you say, changing the topic to hide your complete embarrassment. You leave the kitchen and head to the living room, Negan following.

Somehow, in the time it took you to wash the dishes, your mom and aunt have gone through a bottle and a half of wine, and they're sat on the floor with your dad and uncle playing some sort of drinking game.

You sit down on the couch and Negan sits next to you. Why? Why could he not just sit away from you? Give you some space to compose yourself? But the action is completely innocent. There is just less than a foot between the two of you, yet it still feels like he is on top of you. Like you're breathing the same air.

"What was I just saying?" Negan says, nudging your arm with his elbow. "Alcohol."

You shake your head in playful disagreement with your relatives' actions.

"Hey, mom," you say and her head whips around, as laughter escapes her lips. "Think you've had enough for tonight?"

"Oh, you're so boring," she waves her hand at you dismissively.

The four of them continue for about half an hour as you and Negan observe and laugh. The game finally comes to an end when your aunt and uncle discreetly head off to their bedroom for a reason you don't even want to think about. Your parents follow shortly after, your dad having to carry your drunk mom up the stairs.

You come back from the kitchen where you were getting another lager for you and Negan. As you do so, you look for the TV controller and find a blanket that was lying around. You sit down again next to Negan and look down at your phone to check the time.

"God, it's not even 10 o'clock yet." You laugh.

"Amateurs," he says sarcastically.

You pass him his beer which he thanks you for, then get under you blanket.

"Want some?" You ask, holding out some excess blanket towards him.

"Sure," he accepts, getting comfortable himself.

The whole situation you're in is completely innocent, but it dawns on you that you're currently alone with Negan, tucked under the same blanket. Given that fact, you make a conscious effort not to touch him at all and try to remain composed.

"Put a movie on?" You ask him, passing the TV remote to him.

He takes it from your hand, brushing his fingertips across yours.

You watch him carefully as he selects a film to put on, making sure not to get caught admiring him. He just looks so good. The salt and pepper sprinkled throughout his hair and beard. The tattoos that cover his arms. The way his white t-shirt hugs his body just right. You're brought out of your thoughts when he speaks.

"You seen Batman Returns?" He asks, looking down at you.

"Of course," you smile. "It's a classic."

"Feel like watching it again?"

You nod. You'll watch whatever he wants. Do whatever he wants.

"Absolutely," you answer. "I didn't peg you as a Batman kind of guy, to be honest."

"Like you say, it's a classic," he says. "Plus there's always Michelle Pfeiffer."

You laugh at him. "I feel you."

You polish off another beer as you watch the film. You try your best to pay attention, to keep your eyes open, but you grow increasingly tired. It must have only been fifteen minutes into the film when you finally drift off, reality slipping away.

When you wake up again, it takes a while to fully gain consciousness, You feel something under you head, under your arm, but you don't pay much attention to it.

You feel warm. Comfortable. You don't want to wake up, you could stay here forever. The smell of men's shampoo and cologne comforts you, a soft material under the touch of your hand.

All of a sudden reality dawns on you. You realise that your head is leaning on a shoulder. That your hand is draped across a torso. You shoot up, sitting upright and see Negan smiling at you softly through slightly hooded eyes.

"Oh God," you say, feeling incredibly humiliated. "I'm sorry." But he just chuckles.

You look over to the television and see a black screen.

"Did the movie finish?" You ask groggily and he nods. Fuck. You slept for the entire duration of the film and who knows how much of that time you spent laying on Negan's shoulder.

What you're only just realising now, though, is how close you're still sat to him. How even though you're sat up, Negan's shoulder is casually draped across the back of the sofa, dangerously close to your shoulder blades.

"Why didn't you just wake me up?" You ask, feeling flushed.

"You looked peaceful." He answers, honestly. "Didn't want to disrupt you."

"I'm sorry," you apologize again. "You should've woken me up."

"I didn't mind, sweetheart." He insists. "Honestly."

The pet name drives you utterly insane. As if this whole thing wasn't already enough. Your body feels so hot. What with the blanket, his body heat, your arousal.

"I will say though, you do talk quite a bit in your sleep," he smiles coyly and dread shoots through your entire body.

"Wh-what-" you can't even get a full sentence out. "What did I-"

A flash of a dream comes back to you in that moment. Oh God. Oh God, no. You can't remember the details, but you remember the feeling. Negan on top of you. His body weight on you. The ecstasy you felt. His hands on your body. His name slipping from your lips.

You had a sex dream about Negan while you were laying on his Goddamn shoulder. You're lost for words, but Negan is enjoying watching this play out. He bites his lip, trying to suppress his smug grin as he watches you realise the possibilities of what you might have said.

His arm slowly slips off the back of the sofa and creeps around to touch you, the movement making you flinch a little. What is he doing?

He takes his other hand and places two fingers just under your chin, forcing you to look up at him. The two of you make eye contact and you can't even contemplate what is happening - still a little groggy from your nap - before his lips are coming down gently on yours.

You kiss him back almost immediately. It's a surprising delicate and intimate kiss, and you daringly bring your hand up to his neck to pull him in deeper, but he pulls back.

You worry that he is having second thoughts, but the look in his eyes says the complete opposite. He just wants to get a good look at you before he tears you apart. You feel vulnerable under his hungry eyes but you love how it makes you feel.

The two of you take a moment to catch your breath before your lips join again, this time the kiss rougher. More passionate. His arms wrap around your back to pull your body snug to his and you intwine your fingers into his hair, tugging ever so slightly. His large hands snake further down and grab your hips, pulling you onto his lap. As you get comfortable you shift along his length and gasp, feeling that he is already hard.

"You were practically fucking dry humping me in your sleep," he chuckles. "You can't blame me."

"So that's why you didn't want to wake me up, then?" You're barely able to mumble, teasing him.

"Hmm, maybe." You can feel him smile into the kiss and it makes you want him more. Everything about him is so endearing. He just radiates this warmth, this aura, and it's radiating.

Even now, however, you're nervous to move things along. You know what you want but this is still so surreal, and it would be an understatement to say you feel a little intimidated in this moment. You have enough sexual experience, but this is Negan. This is different. So you're glad when he takes control and begins to lift up your top, pulling it over your head to expose your bra.

His mouth makes contact with the flesh of your chest, sucking and nipping while he reaches around to unhook your bra. He feels his cock twitch when he sees your bare breasts, taking a nipple into his mouth immediately as his warm hands roam and caress your back, travelling over your smooth skin.

As you start to subconsciously grind into his bulge, Negan continues to explore your breasts. You're looking for any kind of relief and you begin to find some as he presses up into you, but both of your pants are restricting you.

You feel yourself crumbling further and further as Negan's hands come around to aid him with his attention to your breasts, squeezing and practically groaning as he does so. The noise changes something inside you, and makes you realise that you need him stripped of his clothes right this second.

You grasp the bottom of his shirt and he briefly pulls away from you to allow you to move it, but the second you're done, his lips are back on your skin, leaving marks on your collarbone and neck. Next, you move onto the buckle of his belt but he swats your hand away.

Pulling back from the kiss, you look to him with wide eyes full of confusion. That look alone is nearly enough to cause him to fold and fuck you right then and there. But he has other plans.

"Be patient for me, honey," he says sweetly, and as badly as you want him, you trust him.

He pulls your body flush to his, so that your breasts are pressed entirely against the heat of his chest. Then he grips your lower back and stands up, holding you tightly.

"We can't do this here," he says, carrying you towards the stairs. You grind up against him playfully as he does so and he stops momentarily half way up the stairs, clearly affected by the action. In retaliation he gently swats your ass and you giggle at his response.

"Shh," he hushes, but he can't hide the grin that spreads across his face as you bury your face in his shoulder to muffle the sound.

Being as quiet as possible, he takes you into his bedroom which - awkwardly - is across the hall from your parents' room.

He puts you down on the bed, barely allowing himself to be away from you for a second, climbing on top of you hastily. He goes back to kissing you, the taste of him intoxicating. The way he kisses are gentle yet so hot and passionate at the same time, becoming increasingly sloppy as they shift from your lips to your jaw, neck, chest, abdomen, until you're a writhing mess beneath him.

Once he has kissed so far that he reaches the waist line of your trousers, he unbuttons them and pulls them all the way down. He throws them onto the floor, leaving you just in your lace black panties. He nudges your legs open and moves his kisses to your thigh. He's slowly breaking you and you're not sure how much more you can take. Painstakingly slow, he trails his tongue up your inner thigh until he reaches the edge of your panties.

Eventually he slips your panties off and you tremble as you feel the cool air of his room against your hot, aching core. He places his hands on your inner thighs to push them open further, mouth watering at the sight of you. The delicate touch of his fingers send shivers up your spine and you're in desperate need of more.

"Please, Negan," you say, barely a croak.

"Shh, let me take care of you," he soothes, his voice low and gravelly as he tries his best to stay quiet. "Wanted to taste this sweet pussy for so long."

As if to affirm his words, he lowers his head and licks a stripe straight through your folds, groaning as he feels how wet you are.

He then moves his mouth to make contact with your clit, your hips raising at the action. He starts off by sucking gently, leaving you aching for more as you reach down to grab his hair, not knowing what else to do. He chuckles as you do so and sends vibrations straight through your core. Unable to control yourself, a moan escapes you lips and he squeezes your thighs warningly, wordlessly telling you to be quiet.

He takes his time to precisely pull you apart, but then his motions begins to get harsher, faster. You feel that rising feeling in the pit of your stomach begin to spread after waiting for what feels like so long. He alternates between kissing, sucking, licking, nipping until you're desperate for more. Sensing this, he teases one finger at your entrance.

"Please," you whimper, legs trembling. He answers your pleading by pushing his single digit inside you in one long push, as deep as he can go, and keeping it there momentarily. As he continues to eat you out, he begins moving his finger, fucking you gently. When he adds a second finger you have to clasp your hand over your own mouth to stop yourself from calling out his name. Your legs wrap around his head, wanting to pull him closer to you in any way possible.

Closing your eyes, you feel that white hot feeling flooding through your veins, but right as you're about to reach your peak, he pulls his fingers out and his mouth away from you.

You let out a guttural sound, one of desperation which causes Negan to laugh under his breath.

"Negan, God, please," you whine, putting both your hands on his head and pushing him back down.

"So bossy," he mumbles with a smile on his face, but he obliges.

He doesn't use his fingers on you again, but it makes no difference. You're already pent up enough as it is that it won't take a lot to make you reach your peak. Plus, you don't doubt that Negan's skillful mouth is more than enough for you.

He circles his tongue around your clit, going back to sucking while using his free fingers to absentmindedly trace little patterns into your thighs. The only noises are your heavy pants and the wetness of his mouth against you, and it fills the otherwise deadly silent bedroom.

He's starting to become more familiar with your body and your reactions and he can tell you're getting close again. To which he stops and pulls away yet again.

"Negan," you almost cry. Tears prick in the corners of your eyes as you throb for him. "Please, I need to-"

"I got you baby," he assures you, stroking the flesh of your thighs comfortingly.

You can't bare it. You almost despise him for doing this to you, but you can't. It's all so surreal: having this man between your thighs. So often you have fantasized of it and though it's so wrong, it's now happening.

Before you can beg again, his lips make contact with you. This time he's a man on a mission. His tongue flicks against your clit as two of his fingers slip back inside you. You're so wet that it's an easy motion, but you still feel the tight, delicious stretch. He allows you to get used to it, building you up until he adds a third finger and you have to use all your power not to yell out his name. You try your hardest not to hurt Negan by squeezing your thighs too much or pulling his hair too hard, but he loves it. He loves driving you crazy, seeing you unwind for him. The noises you make. The taste of you.

Relentlessly, he penetrates you with his fingers, pushing and curling his fingers deep inside you, hitting a spot that eventually brings you your release. One last push, one last flick of his tongue and you're falling over the edge. You squeeze your eyes shut and you can't help the animalistic sound that leaves you as white flashes behind your eyelids. He continues eating you out through your orgasm and it hits you that you think you're doing something you never have before.

Once you manage to come around again, you let your legs relax and look down to Negan who looks up at you. He smiles smugly, your wetness remaining in his beard and it causes you to go weak in the knees.

"Did I just-?" Squirt, you want to say. But somehow it doesn't seem like the nicest word to describe what just happened between of the two.

He nods with a glimmer in his eyes as he makes his way up the bed, his body above yours.

"I've never-" you croak. "I've never done that before."

"You just needed a man, that's all," he gloats and you roll your eyes. "It was hot as fuck, for what it's worth."

He leans down and places a soft kiss on your lips. You can taste yourself on him.

You're still shaking a little, but you manage to pull back a little to look him in his eyes.

"Are we really doing this?" You ask, bordering on timid.

"Do you want to?" He counters.

"Yes," you say, quickly, not wanting him to think you're having doubts. Because there is absolutely no doubt in your mind that you want the man above him. Hell, you need him. But somehow you find yourself feeling a little insecure and needing reassurance. "Do you?"

"Darling," he laughs. "Not to be crude, but you just came all over my face. I want this more than you know."

You nod and smile, feeling more confident. "I'm sorry, I just-"

He interrupts your babbling with a long kiss to your lips, silencing you.

"You need to worry less," he says, bringing his hand to stroke your cheek sweetly.

"Make me." You propose flirtingly, smiling up at him.

"That I can do." His lips crash down on yours and his tongue intertwines with yours.

Reaching down to his pants you fumble with his zip, which he helps your shaky hands undo. He shifts both his pants and boxers down off his ankles, and though you can't see his length fully from this angle, you can feel its hardness press against your lower stomach and he feels big.

"You ready, baby?" He raises his brow at you as he grips his member and teases it through your folds.

"Yes, please Negan," you pant, even after having the best orgasm of your life, you still need more. "Need you inside me."

He groans as he slips inside of you and the way you practically beg for him drives him crazy.

"So fucking tight, holy shit," he mumbles into your ear, his head dropping down to bite and suck on the crook of your neck. "Oh, baby, fuck."

Hearing him say such obscene things affects you in an indescribable way. His voice has always been massively attractive to you, but now...you're done for. The deep rumble, smooth like honey, even lower in an attempt to remain quiet to your family in the surrounding bedrooms. It's like dark magic. It has you hooked. He could say the right thing to you with that voice and you'd cum right there and then.

His movements are slow, savoring the sensation of you around him. He wants to take his time with you. He never wants it to be over.

Instinctively, you wrap your legs around his back and lift your hips up wanting more from you. He maintains his pace, but does start pushing deeper inside you like you wanted.

"I've wanted you for so long," you say, not even in control of your words anymore. It's like he's fucking them right out of you. He moans into your neck at your admission and starts thrusting a little faster, as if in response to your statement.

"Do you know-" he stops speaking for a moment to breathe and compose himself, clearly enjoying this as much as you, "how often I get myself off thinking about you?" He punctuates his point with a particularly hard thrust and that - in combination with the idea of him masturbating to the thought of you - causes you to cry out. You thought he would shush you, but he seems too far gone at this point.

"A fucking pretty little thing like you," he says, his hands groping at your tits, his touch rougher than before, "it'd be hard not to."

"Oh god," you whimper. "Harder, please."

His movements get harsher gradually, following your command and getting you closer and closer every second.

He lifts his head up and the way he looks at you makes your insides collapse. To be the sole object of his attention. How he looks at you like you're all that ever mattered.

"I'm so close, Negan," you tell him.

"Taking me so fucking well, darling," he praises, reaching one hand down to lazily play with your clit. That's all it takes and he can feel it coming as you begin to squeeze around him. He takes your lips in a long, sensual kiss as you climax, trying to muffle your moans as he fucks you through your orgasm. Your hands are wrapped around his back, squeezing into his shoulders as you try your hardest to be quiet. Pure pleasure surges through your veins as he presses his entire body weight into you: suffocating in the most beautiful way possible.

Gradually, Negan's movements come to a halt and he stops moving inside you briefly, letting go of you come down from your high.

"You're gonna be the fucking death of me," he declares and before you can reply, he suddenly starts moving inside you again, faster than the last time, placing a quick peck on the tip of your nose as he does so.

He soon reaches a pace much faster than before and you're rendered speechless.

Your attention is grabbed, however, by the open and shut of a door somewhere. You gasp and your eyes widen at the sound. The possibilities of who it could be and if they'd heard you start to race through your mind but your thoughts are cut off when Negan clasps a hand firmly over your mouth to keep you quiet. He presses you further into the mattress as he fucks you even harder than before, enjoying tormenting you.

You listen closely to the footsteps. They're quite loud - that of a man - probably your dad or uncle. The pitter patter grows closer and your heard races, both from the fear of getting caught and from the sensation of Negan deep inside you. Hitting places you're sure no other man ever has or ever could. You relax a little as you hear the footsteps pass Negan's bedroom and head into the shared bathroom, the door closing afterwards.

Negan takes his hand off your mouth and you gasp for air.

"Oh my god, please don't stop," you beg as he sets a pace and sticks with it, snaking his slender fingers back down to your clit and circling it gently.

"I don't plan on," he chimes. "You're taking me so well."

You've never felt anything like this. Your entire body is numb and slick with sweat. All you can do is grab onto his hair and try your best to lift your hips to meet his thrusts.

To help you out, he grabs your body and switches positions slightly. He lifts himself up then clutches your thighs, lifting them onto his shoulders. Then his hands grip onto your hips and he has access to you in a way that allows him to go much deeper. You know you can't take much more. You're close to crying just from how much you want to scream his name.

Your eyes keep fluttering shut but you force them opening, wanting to keep them on the man doing this to you. His tousled hair, his flexed biceps, his tattooed chest.

"Harder, please," you whisper. "I'm nearly there."

Thrusting harder, he also adds his fingers back to your clit, rubbing harshly. It's almost painful on your sensitive nerves but it feels unreal and it's enough to build you up to near-ecstasy.

Your mouth hangs open but you refrain from making any noise. In one unexpected motion, he lands a slap to your clit and it sends your orgasm rushing.

"Good girl, that's it," he guides you through as your body starts to spasm.

He continually pounds into you and turns his head to the side to place soft kisses to your inner thigh, contrasting the way he now ruthlessly moves inside of you.

You contract around him as you cum and you can tell he is trying his hardest to hold on as he visibly hesitates, not knowing where to release.

"Cum inside me, Negan," you give permission. "Want it so bad."

Those words were all he needed as he spills inside you, the warm liquid filling you.

Gradually, his movements slow down as he fucks you through the both of your orgasms, fucking his cum deeper inside you, and then pulls out and collapses next to you.

You rest your head on his shoulder and to your surprise, he pulls you closer to him, placing a kiss to your forehead.

"Holy shit," you giggle, the whole situation setting in.

Negan's about to speak but his sentence stops forming when the bathroom door opens and closes again. You'd completely forgot about that.

The two of you exchange a glance as you wait for the footsteps to disappear down the hallway. Once they're gone, you relax back into his embrace.

Absentmindedly, you place your hand on Negan's warm chest, tracing the ink of his tattoos. Its surprisingly comforting having him this close, to be held by him. You're entranced by the smell of his cologne and the way his chest heaves up and down, catching his breath. He smiles as he watches you, equally as entranced by you. He can't quite believe that the daydreams he thought were exactly that - daydreams - have come to life.

"We'll have to do this again," he grins coyly, "some place where you can scream my name as loud as you need to." His hands run over your body, cupping your breasts as if to appreciate as much of you as possible.

"I'd like that," you smile back, snuggling into his arms. You know you can't stay here all night, but you'll appreciate it for as long as possible.

[triflesandparsnips]

So I understand that there are Good Omens show fans who have never read Good Omens the book, and that makes me deeply sad because--

Like, there's so much depth to the story being told about humans and humanity and the choice between good and evil -- and how that's actually a false dichotomy whoooops -- WHILE ALSO not really being about Aziraphale and Crowley at all (who are, imo, basically there as embodiments of "Impressive Failures" for the purposes of Theme and also Plot).

BUT IF you want to know why I've shipped them since the book-- here's the moment it happened for wee teenage me:

Wednesday (before the end of the world)

So it's Warlock's birthday party. And there are all these children and security guards and also an angel doing magic tricks while a demon is disguised as a caterer. This bit is basically the same as the show, so hooray.

But as wee me understood the characters up to this point, they were still basically enemies who had been in the field together for way too long and knew each other's moves well enough for the same tempting/thwarting of one another to become kind of boring and repetitive and generally pointless-- particularly once they realized that they could, for instance, just live their (separate!) lives watching humans being weird (Crowley) and seeking various sensory stuff (Aziraphale) while doing the least work necessary to keep their respective bosses off their backs.

The Arrangement was borne not out of hiding a friendship or anything, but instead the realization that sometimes covering for one another would just... cut down on their total overall workload. They were, at best, employees of two different, competitive companies-- though in same kind of department, doing the same kind of work-- who discovered they liked to have lunch at the same deli and that their jobs were sometimes distressingly more similar than either was comfortable with.

SO ANYWAY. BACK TO THAT WEDNESDAY. They're not covering for one another with this whole Antichrist thing-- they're now actively collaborating, and they've acknowledged (mostly) that it's not to cut down on their individual workloads, but rather to preserve their identical-- but not shared (not yet)-- goals of Getting To Continue The Lives On Earth They've Grown To Enjoy.

But like-- still not friends. Not really.

Until Aziraphale fucks up a bit, Warlock accidentally gets hold of a security guard's weapon and starts waving it around, and:

Then someone threw some jelly at Warlock. The boy squeaked, and pulled the trigger of the gun. It was a Magnum .32, CIA issue, gray, mean, heavy, capable of blowing a man away at thirty paces, and leaving nothing more than a red mist, a ghastly mess, and a certain amount of paperwork. Aziraphale blinked. A thin stream of water squirted from the nozzle and soaked Crowley, who had been looking out the window, trying to see if there was a huge black dog in the garden. Aziraphale looked embarrassed. Then a cream cake hit him in the face.

My teenage brain exploded at this moment.

BECAUSE: there is no reason for Aziraphale to do that.

Work-wise: If he got shot, Crowley would get discorporated, but not die-- and anyway, it would happen in such a way that both of them could explain it away easily to their respective sides (and possibly even be commended for it!).

Collaboration-wise: If Crowley had been watching Aziraphale, and if he'd seen Aziraphale have the chance to change the gun but not do it-- then yeah, probably that would've been annoying enough to have warranted some chilly conversations once he came back topside, and therefore, Aziraphale choosing to save Crowley could've been a reasonable, logical choice to keep their working relationship on an even keel until they'd sorted out this Doomsday thing.

But Crowley was looking the other way.

Work-wise, it doesn't make sense-- and secret-collaboration-wise, it doesn't make sense-- and so it is, overall, really weird that Aziraphale saved him.

But his automatic reaction-- in a blink-- is to stop Crowley from getting shot. And he knows it's weird-- he feels embarrassed that his sudden, unthinking reaction is to save his "enemy".

And the final bit is just a couple paragraphs later:

With a gesture, Aziraphale turned the rest of the guns into water pistols as well, and walked out.

SO LOOK: He changed only the pistol about to shoot Crowley. His automatic reaction had nothing to do with saving a party full of humans, many of them children-- nothing to do with Heaven or Hell-- nothing to do with preserving the coworker he needs to stop Armageddon--

It was all to do with saving Crowley. Who may be the enemy, but he's Aziraphale's enemy. And another part of his life on Earth that he's doing all of this just to preserve.

Which may also be, for the first time, the moment he lets himself realize how important Crowley in particular is to him.

...and so anyway, that's how I started shipping these two immortal idiots, and one of many reasons why everyone should read the book.

[woso-dreamzzz]

Natalia II

Hardersson x Daughter!Reader

Natalia Guijarro (OC) x Hardersson!Reader

Part of The Big Adeventures Universe

Summary: Talia and her obsession with your hands

For as long as Talia can remember, she's noticed people's hands first.

Usually, it's as simple as a handshake.

You can tell a lot by people's hands, Talia thinks. If they're rough and calloused or soft or if they're big or small. The way people throw. The way they catch. The way that someone squeezes her hand slightly when they shakes.

There is a lot about hands that Talia finds interesting.

Yours especially.

She has different answers to questions depending on who asks. If someone asks her your prettiest feature, she'd say your eyes. If you asked her that same question then she'd say the way you smile when you see someone you love.

If someone asked her your hottest feature, she'd say your abs. She's not wrong. You have good abs, from all the sits ups and planks you do at training. If you were to ask her then she'd confess and say it was your hands.

You have large hands. A big palm topped off with long fingers. They're rough but not too rough, rough enough that on the occasions where you pin her down, she can feel each callous. They're strong too. Strong enough that you can dangle from the climbing wall with one hand and strong enough to squeeze her throat just how she likes when you fuck her.

They're a little bit veiny too, enough that she can see them clearly when you flex and Talia can always count on being distracted by them when you do weights.

Your hands are the most perfect hands in the entire world and she will die on that hill.

She'd noticed them when you first met all those years ago, pulling off your gloves to shake her hand. They'd been less rough then, less strong and less big but she'd still been impressed by them.

Still been impressed enough by you to go back to the hotel and watch your matches with Linköping again and again. Impressed enough to follow your career at Arsenal.

The birth of her secret fan account happened then. It started off as a burner Twitter account that had been sparked when against Aston Villa, you pulled off your gloves and ran a hand down your throat.

To this day, Talia can't thank that camera man enough for staying on you.

You'd dragged your entire hand down the expanse of your throat and Talia was treated to the slight flex of it as you curled your fingers around your own neck for reasons unknown.

Her burner Twitter account very quickly became a little shrine to you and your games that carried on even after you'd come to Barcelona. The TikTok account using the same handle had been born during the World Cup.

Talia hadn't really been expecting much when she randomly posted an edit about you but it had blown up a little bit and as Sweden's first choice keeper, she was given a lot of video footage to go off of.

There was even a shot of you at training with your team as they poured water all over you and you stripped off your shirt displaying your abs.

That had been a very popular edit.

"You're both quite popular on TikTok," Pernille mentions one evening over dinner.

You're all at home a day after a match, enjoying one last meal together before your parents fly home.

Prins sits at your feet happily, mouth open waiting for any food to drop while Reina lazes on the back of the sofa and Kung bounces around the room with a stick of celery.

"What? With the edits?" You ask," Yeah, I've seen a few of them. I think they're kind of cool."

"I don't." Magda, as always, sounds grumpy and Talia wonders briefly if she was this grumpy when you were growing up. "You're a baby. You shouldn't have people thirsting over you."

"I've not been a baby for a while," You reply but Magda just huffs.

"You're my baby," Magda insists," And I've had enough for edits showing up of your abs."

"She has good abs," Talia can't help but put in and she smiles as the tips of your ears turn red. Only for a flush to go through her body as you pick up her beer bottle and flick off the top with one hand.

It's unbelievably hot when you do that and you don't even know it.

"Of course you would say that," Magda replies before somewhat smugly saying," She got them from me."

Pernille rolls her eyes. "Yes, Magda," She says, slightly patronising," You have good abs too."

Talia would usually tease Magda for the way she turns red after the compliment but she's once again focussed on your hands as you easily lift Prins up onto your lap, your good boy wagging his tail happily at being included.

"It's the hand edits though," Magda continues," I just don't get the hand edits. They're just hands. I think I've saved one to show you."

Talia's heart drops as Magda shows the table what edit she's talking about.

It's one of hers.

Very clearly featuring a game a few weeks ago when you'd gotten uncharacteristically wound up and had fisted the shirt of an opposing play and dragged her away from you, pushing her further back to keep some distance.

Again, the camera man was a godsend because the image was still clear even as Talia zoomed in on your hands.

You watch the edit, unaware of the crisis that Talia's currently in next to you.

The caption is even more embarrassing.

'I'd let her manhandle me like that any day 🥵🥵🥵'

Just when Talia thinks it can't get worse, it does. Magda starts scrolling through the account and each caption is worse than the other.

'Just want her to pin me to the mattress 🥵🥵🥵'

'I'd love to have finger shaped bruises from her 🥵🥵🥵'

'I bet she spanks super hard 🥵🥵🥵'

You stare down at your hands in confusion, clenching and unclenching them as Talia tries very hard to stop the blush from her chest rising up to her face.

"Are they good hands?" You wonder aloud, brow furrowed. You turn them over to inspect before getting distracted with Prins trying to lunge forward to lick the sauce off your plate.

"They're reliable hands," Pernille replies before turning to her wife," God, Magda, it's just an edit. People are allowed to thirst over her hands if they want."

"No they're not! I won't allow it!"

"Unless you're going to cyber stalk the owner of the account, Magda, then there's not much else you can do."

A thoughtful look appears on Magda's face.

"No, Magda, you can't cyber stalk the account owner."

"But-"

"No."

The conversation, thankfully for Talia, is dropped and by the time Magda and Pernille leave for the airport, she thinks you've forgotten about it.

Out of nowhere though, you slip onto her lip, pulling her into a heady kiss.

Talia gasps into it when you slip your tongue into her mouth as one hand tugs her back by her hair as you have more access.

By the time you pull away, that hand has migrated to exactly where she wants it.

Wrapped around her throat.

"So," You say, whispering in her ear," You'd let me manhandle you any day?"

"You-?"

She can feel your grin against her skin. "It's the same username as that Twitter account you've dedicated to me."

[guildofscribes]

Humans are Weird: Indomitable Spirit Addition.

Okay, so I've been following these sort of posts on the internet for a while now, but now I have a Tumblr and the ability to add my two cents! Humans are stubborn. They're obnoxious and juvenile and too curious for their own good. And they break. So. Much. Stuff! "I just wanted to see how it worked, I'll put it back together, promise!" Humans are incorrigible. There is no changing them into something slightly more sane, on the galactic scale.

Humans don't ever know when to quit. Ahn-skletch (well, that's as close as galactic standard characters could get to the approximation of his name) had been assigned to an away party, to go take samples and verify the habitability bracket on some Nowhere moon close enough to the human's Sol system that they picked up one of those capricious creatures for "diversity within the crew". Convenient. Humans were only ever trouble, but oh well. Maybe it would be funny to watch them. Ahn-skletch had the misfortune to be partnered with the gee-awl-uh-gyst human they'd picked up... the kind that studied rocks. Close enough to Ahn-skletch's field of ecology that they got paired up because those two fields of study were the same thing, right? Beings of the Vlistant species were not known for strict logic alongside their high intelligence rating, and the waves of mild irritation that swept over when that erroneous point had been made were truly immense. Rocks and eco systems.

Perhaps the human had been annoyed as well, but they did not show it. The human stepped over and introduced itself as "Gene, nice to meet ya'."

The human Gene did not stick out its hand, as Ahn-skletch had heard humans greet each other with touching of hands or wrapping appendages around each other, but the aborted movement was there. Which was a relief, for the reason that Vlistants did not generally greatly enjoy unnecessary contact. Humans called the phenomenon "electric shock", but that seemed to be the closest description to the sensation they received upon physical contact with other living creatures, having a slightly greater dormant charge to their organic systems. Contact = discomfort. Why bother? But that did nothing for him on the surface of the moon, where the air was breathable, though not for extended periods. That could be treated for specific species easily enough for colonizing. The ground seemed rich enough, though soft and somewhat crumbly, which likely meant the soil would be easy to work and cultivate the native edible flora. Little pools dotted the landscape with regularity, the liquid inside tested positive for consumption for 73.25% of the galaxy's sentient inhabitants, and recent signs of fauna signaled it to be a thriving system. Very encouraging signs. Until the human Gene insisted on getting a closer look at a large cliff face nearby, one with a convenient shelf to look out over the land below. Ahn-skletch followed. Humans shouldn't be left alone, after all. Too many stories circulated the galaxy for that. While the human Gene touched, tapped, made little scrapings into bottles... did they just lick the cliff wall? Well, humans were weird, after all. Ahn-skletch stepped along toward the edge of the shelf, carefully examining the organic life that stretched out and up towards the atmosphere, taking note of the smaller life forms crawling along the ground and in the flora, glancing back to human Gene now and then, taking peace from the calm and quiet. The oddest sensation came up through Ahn-skletch's pods, and then the ground seemed to rise up before their eyes!

Survival reflexes honed by many training courses were all that allowed Ahn-skeltch to close their hands around a large root exposed in the ground as they began to fell with the collapsed shelf. A singular root, sticking out of the same crumbly soil that had just fallen out from underfoot. Almost immediately, as soon as Ahn-skletch looked from the root upward to gauge how far they had fallen, Human Gene's face appeared over the edge, along with an arm that just barely reached far enough to possibly reach. "Sleechh! Grab my hand!" Human Gene, "The electric transfer will shock your system! You must find something to lower down to me!" What terrible fortune to be paired with a human! So delicate a body system, the energy transfer would surely cause the muscles to spasm and drop Ahn-skletch! What terrible odds! "There's nothing in my pack! We didn't get the climbing cord! Grab my hand! I won't drop you! Hurry!" Human Gene scooted further forward on his belly. "The ground might crumble more, and you don't want to go down with that plant, do you?" By all the low gods of the Vlistants... "There is no way! You cannot abide the electric transfer long enough to pull me up!" Desperation for survival won out. Ahn-skletch let the root go with one per and reached up, grabbed that pale human hand, expected to feel the spasm and release and the short fallback to the root... ...but it never came. That human hand clamped like a vice around it, and with a great shout, human Gene pulled upward. Ahn-skletch could not look away from the human's face as they moved up, slowly inching up the face of the outcrop that seemed to be threatening to crumble again with every particle that bounced downward over an eternity that stretched forever. Then the moment came where Ahn-skletch had to let go of the root.

It took much effort to let go, to move that grip to human Gene's arm, which brought another loud, strained noise. But human Gene's grip did not waver, and only ever kept pulling upward. Human Gene groaned, little drops appeared on their skin in the effort to keep pulling upward. Further, further, a little more... Human Gene still did not let go. Particles came loose and tumbled by Ahn-skletch, down into the great distance to the ground far, far below. The energy currant cycling through their bodies became uncomfortable for even Ahn-skletch, who was better developed to handle it. Still, human Gene did not falter, pulled a little further, and a little more...

...Then the top! And they scrambled backward to more sturdy ground. Human Gene had to pry their fingers away from Ahn-skletch's appendage, they had so tightly clenched to keep their grip as their body had spasmed with the extra electric energy.

Human Gene just flexed and rolled the joints and panted, "I guess we'll pack a rope next time, yeah?" in a most underwhelming tone. Ahn-skletch could only stare in shock. But they agreed. Always pack a rope. And privately, Ahn-skletch noted to go with a human whenever possible. Humans would not give up. To their own detriment, they would not give up. Human Gene ("For goodness' sake, call me Gene! I don't call you 'Vlistant Sleechh, do I?") suffered muscular strain and subluxation of four joints through the ordeal to pull up Ahn-scletch. Even when it brought them harm to do so, Humans did not quit. Over many cycle, Ahn-skletch would collect many more stories of humans doing similar things to save crew-mates. So many stories ended telling of much damage to the humans for their determination to keep going. Humans are strange. They are illogical, silly, crass, and troublesome. They cannot control their curiosity or their strangeness. They will adopt tiny, dangerous creatures as "pets", and will spend many hours training harmful behaviors out of their wild creatures. Humans do not know when to quit. Perhaps that is why they have spread so fast through the galaxy. They are delicate, but they are not afraid to be wounded. Either they will heal, or they will not, but the risk is worth it. It is their spirit that makes them so. Humans are not the strongest in the universe, nor will they ever be, but they are indomitable.

[dvlboy]

family man

read dni!!! warnings: abo, feminization (slightly), talks about kids, heats, messy idk

the future of his people weigh heavily on him, and he needs to make sure he picks the alpha that can get the job done. he's always wanted a big family, someone to rebuild his nations people with. he loves you, and he loves how good of a father you could be to his future children.

he watches you, sitting on your couch, biting his lips while he swirls a glass of sunsettia juice in his wine glass. you were currently cutting up some berries, cheese and preparing some snacks in a fun little basket. you were currently talking to him, asking him if he'd like to accompany you on the picnic you were planning. he could only nod as he grinded his thighs together, silently thankful that you were oblivious to his growing blush on his cheeks.

you've taken on a father role to a few of the youngins inside mondtstadt. and while you cannot be there as often as you'd wish, you still try your best. you would never want razor and bennett to grow up without a constant support system, and although you aren't their biological parents you try to make them feel as loved as possible. you introduced razor to his first birthday cake and showed him some new stuff for his birthday, and are always the first to wish bennett a happy birthday as well. diona has come over countless times to take a nap after dinner, and uses you as her confidant when her father has a few too many. sometimes she'll sleepover too. mika is a shy boy, and you often accompany him when he needs it. he's so shy, but sometimes... and just sometimes he'll break through his shell to you. you've carried him home sometimes after a long day, or will ruffle his hair when he beats himself up over something. even that kid timmy, you'll still go with him to feed the pigeons, or teach him cooking skills to bring to his mom. he's aware that you aren't his father, but its nice to have someone to rely on.

there's just something about you that draws people in. maybe its your personality, maybe its your kindness or reliability. maybe it was the muscles that show through your clothes, a sign of your protection and strength.

kaeya himself has alot of respect for you in that regard, and also finds it incredibly attractive how dedicated you are in everything you do. namely you're closest to bennett, razor, diona, and klee, and he could tell how much thought you were putting into a small picnic. and he, unlike you, isn't oblivious to the stares directed your ways, a gorgeous alpha with a golden heart is sure to make anyone act up.

and as you heard a knock on your door, some ruckus and a familiar voice apologize for accidentally tripping into your rose bushes, it wasn't hard to see how you looked forward to seeing your "kids" again.

god you'd be such a good dad, and you'd be an even better fit for him.

--------

it wasn't hard to miss how tired you were when you came back home, but kaeya could see it in your eyes how content you were. you gave him a quick peck on the cheek before pulling some leftover supplies and making dinner.

you told stories of how proud you were of bennett for trying to cook despite it still being inedible, or how proud you were of razor for carving his own path. how worried you were for diona and mika for their responsibilities, and how sad timmy seemed even after you spent a few hours watching ducks with him and eating berries. kaeyas eyes trailed over your figure, how your strong hands gripped the knife as you chopped some potatoes, how the apron hugged your shoulders and waist, how happy you seemed to see everyone again...

kaeyas omega purred as you sat the plate infront of him, you sitting beside him with your warm hand on his cold thigh, rubbing them up and down. he stayed quiet, eyes meeting yours before he brought you to a kiss. you just seemed so content and happy today, it made him wish that the two of you had your own to take care of. he'd bet a good sum of mora that they'd have his khaenri'ah eyes and would probably be the cutest things ever.

the two of you made small conversations throughout your meal, kaeya cleaning up while you showered from your long day. it wasn't long before you were snuggled into the sheets, not looking up from your book when kaeya crawled onto your lap. it was only when he purred, the scent of arousal starting to leak through the air that you decided to focus on your boyfriend.

his finger trailed down your chest, a shameless blush painted on his cheeks as he leaned in, "y'know, seeing you so good with kids is such a sight for sore eyes..," he smiled, grabbing your hand. "tell me darling, do you want kids of your own someday?" there was such a sweet seduction in your tone as he stared at you, trying to ignore the burning desire in his core.

"i'd love a couple of my own.." your hands snaked around his waist as you leaned in to kiss him, "especially if they were with you.." he closed his eyes as he kissed back, putting more and more pressure into the kiss. your hands pulled away, going to slowly peel the buttons off his shirt.

he purred against you, "i'm not in my heat right now darling." he seemed almost sad, before a sly grin replaced his slight frown. "buuuuut, who says that can stop us?" his hand slid down your body, thumbs hooking onto the loose pajama pants, fingers tracing your slight bulge in your pants.

"how about this, why don't we practice for my next heat?" he pulled your shorts down, his hand wrapping around your soft cock, "so that when it does come around, you can pop a kid in me." he purred those words out, desire burning out into his actions.

"h-hey kaeya, i'm all for it but don't i'm a bit tired.. i don't think i could get on top of you as long as i normally do.." his hands didn't stop, and he spat on his hand before he slowly jerked you off.

"i have no issues with that darlin," he slapped your cock against his cheeks, "i'll make sure to practice well, make sure you fill me up nice n good.."

kaeya was impossibly beautiful, even as he stared you down with those eyes, swollen cock around his lips. spit dribbled down his fingers and his lips while he stroked you, firmly and insistently. one hand left your cock, slowly travelling down to his entrance, slowly teasing his rim, checking to make the lube and preparations he did while you were gone.

once he deemed your cock wet enough, he sat on your lap, hands wrapping around your neck. he moaned into your neck when you pulled him closer to you, his dripping cock pressing against yours. you snuggled into his body, inhaling his scent before pressing the head of your cock against his hole, shuddering an exhale into his skin. the slick head of your cock circled around his rim, before you pushed into his ass, closing your eyes and enjoying the feeling.

kaeya was gripping onto your neck and your dick like an iron vice, everytime you tried to sink deeper into our gorgeous boyfriend he would let out a low, guttural moan. "i thought you said you would takeover for the night?" a poorly disguised tease left your lips and all he could do was grit his teeth, trying to hold back another grunt.

"s-shut it.. you're alot bigger then i remember from last heat.." even with your rough hands drawing circles on his hips, he was struggling to handle you fully inside of him.

yet in his horny mind, he couldn't be more turned on, or any more frustrated that he couldn't take you the same way he did during his heats. it hurt so good, in a way that made his head spin the same way it did when he was drowning in your scent.

yet that pain didn't stop him from rolling his hips on your dick, hands slowly sliding to grip your shoulders. slowly he ground his hips against yours, shuddering out breathes while you sat there patient, watching him lose that seductive facade. "f-fuck.. so good.." he muttered at you, slowly gaining more length to bounce on.

his hips continued to ride against yours, his body slowly getting used to you once more. sweat was starting to build on his forehead, and his hair was starting to get unruly. his hands scratched down your shoulders and torso, landing on your sides. drool was starting to leak down his mouth while he rode you, his shakiness disappearing and a natural rhythm forming.

"so good baby, you're so good.." you muttered into the air, toes curling at the pleasure. hes so good at taking your cock, you couldn't help but thrust into his body, enjoying how it threw him off, little hiccups of pleasure from reaching the deepest parts of him.

"m'gonna knock you up, keep you nice and full.." you muttered at him, feeling him tense around you. one of your hands drew to his weeping cock, a shocked moan leaving his lips. "you'd be such a good daddy too, such a good fucking father to our kids.." you stroked him off, feeling him grasp at your thick arms in desperation, crying out your name. it was the only coherent thing he could say, everything else just blabbers of pleasure and pain.

seeing such an explosive reaction really woke something up in you, "i'd bet you'd be so fucking hot, all bloated and pretty with my kids.." you brought him into a sloppy kiss, his lips leaking drool all over you. everytime you teased him, he would tighten around you, milking your cock for your cum.

kaeya rolled his hips once more, before he shuddered and tightened like a vice on you, watery cum shooting all over your stomach, leaking his cum down your hand that was still on his cock.

kaeyas chest heaved up and down, recovering from his orgasm while you stared at him, hand still on his softening cock and your dick deep inside of him.

"c'mon doll, show me how much you want to be a mama.." your hand slowly started to stroke his cock, getting a breathless moan from him. "you can do it.. just a bit more.."

and so he sat there, sweaty and blushed, his sore hips moving up and down on your dick, trying to keep it together while you watched him slowly come undone again. how he bit the inside of his cheeks whenever you hit that spot again, how he instantly moaned and shot you a flustered glare if you dare started to speed up your hands on his dick, everything.

"m'close kaeya.." god how your voice muttered his name, it made him even more desperate for you. he wanted your cum, your seed, he wanted your everything.

and when you finally grabbed his hips instead of his cock, manhandling him like a doll and thrusting all the way into him, he came again, a weaker, less explosive orgasm being milked on him. he could hear your franic breaths and see your chest rise and fall as you pounded into him, your balls tightening. your arms locked into his body firmly, your knuckles turning pale before a weak grunt left your lips, a few more following. he could feel your cum spurt into him, and did nothing while you forced him to stay still, feeling your seed bury itself deep into him.

the two of you stayed like that, kaeya too exhausted to move. he collapsed on your chest, lightly grimacing at the feeling of his own cum on his skin, relishing the warmth that was inside of him, and how full he felt.

he was about to fall asleep on your chest before you chuckled at him, "was that enough practice for you? let me get you a glass of water... and maybe a towel.." kaeya opened his eyes to give you a kiss, contentment in his chest.

god you'd be the best dad ever.

-------

so i tried to make the reader dilf himbo flavoured but idk

ANYWAYS REBLOGS and COMMENTS ARE ALWAYS APPREICATED <3 love u guys (this was lowkey for mothers day oops)

[valerie-is-in-the-cupboard]

The ABCs of Alastor - Cum

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

MATURE CONTENT AHEAD! MINORS DNI!

Words: ~2200 TW: swearing, vaginal sex, exhibitionism (I think that's how it's called), cum, fingering

Alastor was not the kind to take his frustrations on you, especially not when he was jealous. He'd rather make the unfortunate soul who dared to hit on you feel like it was the last mistake they'd ever done. He knew it was not your fault when you gained unwanted attention, so there'd be no point in being mad at you.

But when Lucifer stepped into the Hazbin Hotel, his eyes roaming over your body as his lips briefly touched your hand, kissing it, Alastor saw red before him. If he wasn't Charlie's father, the very next moment there'd be nothing left of him apart from that ridiculously big hat of his. But he had to keep it together. So instead of throwing snarky remarks at him, he approached you, a hand tightly gripping your waist.

"And who are you?" Lucifer asked with a raised brow, his hand lingering possessively over yours as if daring Alastor to respond.

"The Radio Demon, at your service," his eyes twitched in frustration and just by the looks of it, you could tell how pissed he was.

"Never heard of you." The King of Hell dismissed him, his focus returning to you. "Now, darling, how about you show me the hotel?"

"I am sorry to inform you that (Y/n) has other business to attend right now," Alastor said through his teeth, his claws digging into your flesh at that point.

"Yeah, Dad! How about I show you the hotel?" Charlie intervened, laughing awkwardly as she pushed her father away, giving you an apologetic look. You both watched as Charlie and Vaggie led him away, the tension in the air growing heavier around you..

"Damn, Alastor... The King of Hell himself is hitting on ya girl!" Angel Dust teased, disturbing both of you from your thoughts. "I'd be careful if I were you."

His grip on you tightened further when he heard Angel mocking him, his eyes narrowing dangerously at the spider demon. He was already struggling to repress his irritation towards Lucifer's actions, and Angel's words only served to push him closer to the edge

"(Y/n)..." he said, his voice tense. "I am waiting for you in our room. We have some things to discuss." he disappeared in one of his portals, leaving you alone with Angel Dust and Husker. You took a deep breath, not even noticing you were holding it.

"You're fucked, toots." Angel chuckled.

"What? What have I done?" you asked confused as he came closer to you.

"I've seen this look before! He's jealous as fuck. He's gonna fuck your guts until you'll need assistance to walk."

Your heart raced, a mix of fear and excitement churning in your stomach. "I don't think it's that!"

He gently pats you on the shoulder, giving you a smirk. "We'll see 'bout that."

You sighed, mumbling under your breath as you made your way to your room, not wanting to piss him off further. A sense of excitement and nervousness filled you as Angel's words replayed in your head. Was he mad at you? But it wasn't your fault Lucifer was being touchy...

You stopped in front of your shared bedroom, taking a deep breath before you touched the doorknob. But before you could open the door yourself, it burst open, shadowy tentacles dragging you inside and throwing you on the bed, the door shutting tight behind you. As more shadows spawned to hold down your wrists and legs, Alastor stepped in front of you, slowly approaching the bed, his cane tapping the floor with every step.

He looked down at you, his face still set in the typical smile, but his eyes were full of annoyance, his clawed fingers tightly gripping the fabric of his coat.

"What was that, my dear?" He said through gritted teeth, his voice low and dangerous.

"Alastor... He didn't know, alright? I think he got the message now." you said, a tentacle slowly gripping your neck, choking you slightly.

"Oh, I'm sure he got the message, my dear." Alastor knelt on the bed, his hands resting on either side of your head, trapping you under him. The tentacle around your neck continued to tighten its grip, making it harder to breathe. "But that doesn't change the fact that he was touching you, in front of everyone... in front of me." He was leaning closer to you now, his face inches away from yours.

You gasped for air as his claws traced your body, from your neck to your waist, slowly dragging the soft fabric of your clothes. "And if I'm being honest, you seemed to enjoy the attention too."

"What? No! I wasn't!" you said in defence, as the tentacles pushed you further into the bed.

Alastor's eyes narrowed as he chuckled darkly, clearly not buying your protest. "Oh, really?" His hand moved to the hem of your top, his fingers gently tugging it upward, exposing your stomach. "Because it looked like you were into it, my dear..." He said, the tip of his clawed finger now tracing the revealed skin, sending shivers down your spine. "And the fact that you didn't pull away from him, not for a moment..." He leaned even closer, his breath hot on your neck. "That tells me a lot..."

His eyes glowed in the dim light of the room, but you couldn't help the feeling of excitement in your chest, the situation was morbidly arousing and scary at the same time. "It's not true, Alastor!"

He chuckled again, the sound sending a chill down your spine. "Is it not, my dear?" He continued to caress your body, his hand now moving under your skirt, his fingers tracing small patterns on your thigh. "Because you seem quite excited for someone who wasn't enjoying Lucifer's attention..." He mused a hint of mockery in his voice.

You looked away, a dark blush on your face as his hand moved dangerously close to your core, threatening to feel how wet you were already. "It isn't because of him, asshole..." you mumbled.

His eyes gleamed with satisfaction at your response, a devilish smirk spreading across his lips. "Is that so?" He leaned in once more, his hot breath caressing your ear. "Then tell me, my dear... who exactly is making you this excited right now?" His hand moved slightly higher, the wetness drenching your panties as he slowly rubbed your core. You let out a gasp when you felt his clawed hand against you, wanting more with every move. "Is it me who got you this wet?" he asked huskily, his breath tickling the skin of your neck.

"Yes..." you whispered, fighting against the restraints that kept you in place, wanting to touch him so badly. "It's only you, Alastor! Only you can make me feel this way."

A sinister smile curled on his lips as he leaned in, his kiss a delicate contrast to the growing intensity of his touch, each stroke sending shockwaves through your body. His cock grew even harder at your words, pleasing him immensely. "Then how about we make sure he knows this too?" he whispered.

"What... What do you mean?" you sheepishly asked, afraid of what idea he might have.

"How about we let him know how good I can make you feel? Only me."

He slowly pulled away, his eyes never leaving yours, savouring every moment of anticipation. With deliberate precision, he unzipped his trousers, letting the tension hang in the air before pressing his cock against your trembling body.

He placed his microphone next to your face, and that's when it hit you - you weren't the only ones to hear the lewd sounds that were yet to come.

"Alastor? What are you doing?!"

Alastor chuckled softly, clearly enjoying your surprise response.

"I'm going to make a point, my dear. Now, be a good girl and be as loud as you can."

He pushed your panties aside, forcing his cock inside of your hole, a loud moan filling the room as he entered you completely. He stopped for a moment, wiping the small tears that gathered in the corner of your eyes. "It's a good start. Good girl." he praised as he pulled out, only to slam back into you.

"Fuck~ Take it easy, Al!" you said as he thrusted a few more times inside of you.

"Oh, but my dear... You seem to like it."

His thrusts became faster, as the tentacles spread your legs further, giving him more access. You arched your back as his cock came in and out of you harshly, the sounds of your arousal and skin slapping filling the room.

"You hear this, Your Majesty?" Alastor said in a mocking tone, grabbing the microphone. "It's a special broadcast, just for you."

He threw the microphone back on the bed, leaning over you, his hips harshly meeting yours. His tongue invaded your mouth, as moans of pleasure echoed through the room, making him go faster.

"Tell him, dear!" he said between grunts. "Tell him who's making you feel so good!"

You felt more tentacles caressing your body, grabbing and running across every inch of skin they could find. A powerful wave of pleasure took over your body as one of them started to rub your clit, your mind going blank as his cock fucked you into the bed, driving you closer to your orgasm.

"Fuck! Alastor! Fuck - Fuck me!" you gasped, your eyes teary from the pleasure.

You moaned loudly as a strong orgasm hit you, leaving your body a trembling mess, the feeling of overstimulation making you lightheaded as he continued to ram into your heat. He groaned at how tight you became, but his cock continued to drag painfully across your velvet walls.

"You're... You're gonna take every single bit of my seed, dear!" he said through gritted teeth as the tentacles lifted your ass from the bed, allowing him to fuck you even deeper than before, his claws digging into your waist. His cock felt like it was going to break through you, as you dipped your nails in your palms, feeling like you were about to faint.

With a few more powerful thrusts, he spilt his cum inside of you. He stood there for a moment, his eyes shut as the pleasure left his body. His breath heavy as small droplets of sweat made his forehead glow. The tentacles left your sore body and gently allowed you to fall on the bed.

Panting, his cock still inside of you, he grabbed the microphone. "Until next broadcast, Your Majesty." he chuckled a bit, his attention returning to you. "Are you alright, my little doe?" he asked, his claws gently tracing your flustered cheek.

"You really... You really broadcasted the whole thing?" you asked, somehow less worried about it than you should've been.

"Let's just say I placed a radio in his room... As a gift. If he heard it or not... We're yet to find out." he chuckled, pulling himself out. You winced at the sudden feeling of his fingers roughly entering you, pumping your pussy a few times, the stretch feeling unbearable now.

"Alastor, please…" you gasped, the words slipping out before you could stop them, torn between protest and longing.

"I said you're gonna take everything, dear. And I meant it!" he placed your panties back, gently patting your heat. "I want that fucker to smell me when he sees you. If the broadcast wasn't enough, of course."

You got up, and he gently helped you, a soft smile on his face this time. You buried your face into his chest, hugging him tightly as he made small circles on your back.

"Are you mad at me?" you asked.

"Absolutely not, my dear! I just needed to prove something... And I think we did a pretty good job." he praised.

The idea of having Alastor's cum inside you all day seemed exciting... until you had to walk around the hotel with the sticky fluid making a mess of your panties.

You rested your chin on your hand, trying to ignore the weird feeling between your legs, your cheeks flustered after you told Angel what happened.

"Holy shit, toots! I didn't think smiley is that freaky!" he chuckled. "But you guys didn't need the radio for the entire Pentagram City to know what you were doing."

"Wait... What?" you asked, looking at him.

"We need to talk to Charlie... These walls are thinner than they should be..." Husk mumbled, an obvious smirk on his face.

"Fuck..." you said, hiding your face in your palms. "So y'all heard it?"

"Indeed." a voice echoed behind you. You quickly turned to see Lucifer looking at you, an annoyed look on his slightly blushed face. He held a radio in his arms or... what remained of one after he probably burned it. Just when you were about to apologise for Alastor's "revolutionary idea", he entered the room, humming, seemingly in a good mood.

"Woah! You two should fuck more often... He's less creepy than usual when ya do it." Angel said, a smirk on his face.

"Indeed, my effeminate fellow." Alastor chuckled. "(Y/n) and I really had a good time... A very good one," he said, eyeing Lucifer, a mischievous grin on his face. Suddenly, he turned to completely face him, raising an eyebrow.

"The fuck is it now?" Lucifer asked.

"Oh my friend, it's nothing really. Though, I must say, it seems you found our little performance… enthralling."

Your face got bright red as you noticed the tent in Lucifer's pants. "Ah, fuck it..." you mumbled as he got all flustered too, the only sound filling the room being Angel's hysterical laughter.

Alastor approached you, a proud smile on his face. "I think we need to make a point again, dear," he murmured, his voice laced with dark amusement, as he placed a kiss on your forehead.

Tags: @ratsematary @littlebluefishtail @xalygatorx @martinys-world @alastorthirsty @diffidentphantom @itsaubreyofcc @n0tmentallystable @lettuce-frog16

[lyneira]

♡ sending you relationship reels on instagram ♡

Headcanons of how some of the JJK guys would send you relationship reels/photos on Instagram

feat. Gojo, Nanami, Choso, Megumi, Yuji, Toge, Yuta

some suggestive reels (in Gojo's)

GOJO

He's the type to send 20+ reels a day

They would vary between memes, crack, and naughty reels

If you're lucky, he'll send a cute reel occasionally

Also, a lot of "this is us" kind of reels

It could be two cute characters being silly together, and he'll write, "Us ❤️"

...And on the other hand, he'll be like, "Look, I didn't realize they caught us on camera," and it's just two animals mating 💀

I can imagine he'll send you stuff that he wants YOU to send to him and would tell you to do so

"Here's one you should send to me," or, "Instagram should put this on your page, not mine 🙄" and he'll send you this link or link plus 10 more whether you've already sent him reels or not

Reels: link link link link link link link link

⚠️ Suggestive reels: link link link "this was literally you", after sending you that last one

CHOSO

Didn't know anything about these until you showed him one

Watching you fawn over these cute characters and heartmelting things had HIS OWN heart melting.

From then on, he had installed instagram and have been sending quite a lot to you

Approximately 10-15 a day

They'd be the sweetest and cutest. No matter how cheesy they seem, he'll send anything that expressed how much love he felt for you and more

Reels: link link link link link link link link link link

NANAMI

Would rarely be seen on social media tbh, if at all

But after you had shown him one of these reels with that precious, delighted look on your face, he would make an exception. He wanted to replicate that expression more often.

He'd probably send you reels whenever he saw that you're feeling low, knowing how much these silly things lifted your spirits, of course.

He'd especially send some when he's been away at work, and you two haven't seen each other for a while. That sad look on your face whenever you knew that he would be away for quite some time always killed him, so there was no way he was going to leave you like that the whole time he was gone.

He'd send a few a day, particularly reels from creators he knows you adore.

The type of reels he'd send would be encouraging and would focus around home.

After all, you are his home that he couldn't wait to come back to

Reels: link link link link link link link

YUJI

Is definitely the type to be on social media more often, so he would likely send 15+ a day

They'd usually be a mixture of silly, sweet, and encouraging

Would typically send them in the morning in hopes of starting your day with a good mood

Also will send a few regular memes here and there to make you laugh

Every now and then, you two might have a competition on who can send the most in a day

Reels: link link link link link link link link

MEGUMI

Like Nanami, he wouldn't be on social media a lot.

I think he'd send you some back typically after you've sent some already. Not because he doesn't care, but because again, he's not on social media much unless he sees a notification from you.

Would send 2-3 reels a day

He's not really into reels with the cutesy characters or cheesy lines. He finds them to be a bit cringe

So the type of reels he'd send would usually be more deep. They're the type with a huge block of text, expressing how he also feels about you.

After months of sending reels to each other, maaaaaybe you'll find a cutesy reel from him once in a blue moon. Just maybe.

Reels: link link link link link link

TOGE

Would send ~6-8 reels a day

They'd usually be pics or videos of animals with the caption "Us" (but unlike Gojo's, these animals are simply being adorable)

Would send you more cute compilation videos of animals on YouTube than Instagram tbh (since watching vids on YouTube is literally his hobby)

But I think that he'd use Instagram to send more memes instead

Reels: link link link link link link link link link link

YUTA

Would probably send 3-4 a day

The type of reels he'd send would be a mixture of Megumi's and Inumaki's, in which he'd send some with blocks of text but also some with animals.

I'd imagine he would have been a bit nervous sending you some initially. He'd probably overthink, 'Would this be okay to send? I hope it doesn't seem too overbearing or cringey'

But when he sees how much you love them, his heart becomes filled with joy and he no longer hesitates to send you reels

Reels: link link link link link link link link (this last one especially)

a/n: first time writing hcs for jjk! I send reels all the time to my s/o and was inspired by that :>

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