#like truly nothing

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Horse Meshi. Delicious, in Horse.

[thedreadvampy]

Losing my shit about this article in which a transphobic Tory was so busy panicking about existing in the vicinity of a Trans that she almost certainly misheard "jeans" as "penis" and decided that not only was this a problem with the other woman, but also that the world must be informed of this pressing danger.

"a trans woman! I had to stand directly behind her....I thought, 'this is going well', I'm handling The Situation fine'..."

translated: I saw a tall woman with broad shoulders. How would I get out of this alive? I thought. she has a PENIS. PENIS PENIS PENIS. through some force of PENIS I mean will I managed to PENIS behave normally towards her. My hands were PENIS PENIS PENIS shaking as I tried to dry them. summoning up all my PENIS courage I said 'dryer's crap innit'. she turned to me and said " yeah I'm just goiPENIS PENIS PENIS"

It's been a week and I'm still shaking. This proves trans women are the problem and I'm not weird. I'm fine. It's fine. If you think about it I'm the hero hePENIS!!!!!

very this

[ruporas]

green haired guy that has haunted my character types for 10+ years

[ghouljams]

Ghost and pet names: The first time you call him baby he thinks about it, quietly loses his mind over it for the better part of a week. It's a casual passing thing you said, probably meant nothing. He convinces himself it meant nothing until you say it to him again with a sly smile, and he falls apart all over again. Names are... important. To Ghost. They're important to Ghost. They measure things: rank, familiarity, affection. Names are a baseline guide for his world.

Sir/Ma'am are too military, too close to his every day. Daddy/Mummy are too... the feelings they conjure aren't good, he doesn't- he doesn't feel safe with them. Mister? Miss? Ooh when he groans out a "Please Miss" "I'll do better Mister" it's perfect. It makes him feel small, makes him feel safe and kept. It tells him exactly where he ranks, below you. It's respectful in a way he hasn't had to be since he was a kid, and it flips some switch in the back of his head that he isn't expecting. It tip, tip, tips him forward into some warm fuzzy space where he can leave the thinking to you and just enjoy the pleasure you give him. You take such good care of him, why wouldn't he give you the respect(the title) you deserve?

It doesn't help that it still gets to him when you purr "is that right baby?" every time he snarks at you. He knows he'll get it later, he's hoping for it actually. It's easier than asking, and you're always quick to pick up on what he wants. (Even when he knows he'll have to beg to get it)

[spielzeugkaiser]

The ages in this show!! I have made some jokes about this before, but it gets me - with aging Ciri up and bringing her closer to Jaskiers age when they meet I can not help but draw parallels. Like Geralt bonded way differently with both of them (which makes sense because Ciri has been his Child surprise since birth and Jaskier just randomly turned up one day and followed him like a puppy) but it's so funny to me. also I'm 100% sure Jaskier was horny as fuck from the beginning so there was a whole different vibe from the get go

[talesfromthebandgeekmafia]

There is something so incredibly satisfying and poetic in the juxtaposition between The Bad Kids’ first fight against the corn cuties and their performance in The Last Stand. Where they were laid low by bad luck and tables, Gorgug not only lives but solos a fucking purple worm and dominates the battlefield with crit after crit. Kristen lives and with incredible wisdom and faith in Doubt makes a move that turns the tables on their entire conflict with The Ratgrinders. (and ends with another cleric of Helio meeting their god. Hopefully, history repeats itself there too) There is redemption at every turn. Against all odds they sail through to the end and are met once again by Arthur Aguefort, as he affirms that the faith he placed in them at the end of their first battle all those years ago was always going to be justified.

They’ve worked so hard and come so far. The Bad Kids are officially the greatest adventuring party to ever come out of Aguefort Adventuring Academy. THE Maximum Legends.

[lotus-pear]

regret

[aroaceleovaldez]

listen i think we should bring back some of the like 2012-2015 era pjo memes and trends so the show folks can get a taste of what the fandom was like back then.

Persassy, "fish jesus," Soldatino, some of the popular ships from then just for fun (remember when Travis Stoll x Katie Gardner was a thing? the extremely brief period of time when people shipped Jason x Butch Walker because Butch is described with "a face like a pile of bricks" so it was a convoluted Brason joke?). i hear people are calling show percabeth "smartwater" so that's coming back already, that's fun. there's potential here.

[marzipanandminutiae]

I brought the skirt I'm working on to the museum yesterday, to get some hand-sewing done at the desk between tours (a lot of my projects end up being done half-hand and half-machine, because I love working on the train or during downtime at my various jobs). you know, the one made of the God-Tier WoolTM

when I invited my coworker, a 19-year-old student, to feel the fabric- in that "OH MY GOD FEEL THIS!!!" tone -her jaw dropped

she had never felt soft, light- or even medium-weight wool in her life. she previously thought, it turns out, that all wool was coarse, heavy, and itchy. she couldn't stop stroking it with that awestruck look on her face

truly, fuck fast fashion and the modern garment industry. for depriving us of sensory richness in our clothing so thoroughly that most of us don't even know what we've lost

[uncanny-tranny]

The absolute biggest thing I've learned as a trans guy: there is nothing more masculine and manly than not caring about looking or acting masculine or manly. Growing your masculinity or manhood takes time and care - you have no obligation to let the world water your garden when you can do that just fine (and you can, even if it doesn't feel like you can!)

[dindjarism]

Do you suffer? Nightly. It must stop. It is a crime against... Against what? Against you. Your beauty. You are the pope's daughter. How can he stand it?

THE BORGIAS | 1.05 The Borgias in Love + bonus:

[blueskittlesart]

at a certain point i think we need to acknowledge that art is very rarely created accidentally. if you can see a theme in a work than that theme was, more likely than not, at least somewhat intentional on behalf of the creator. you don't put a piece of yourself out into the world without thinking about what it means at least a little bit.

[buckttommy]

this isn't a horny post but. has buck even... seen a hard penis before that was not his own? like yeah yeah porn but. that's not really the same is it. not when you're not even looking. not when you don't even know that you want to look. like for all intents and purposes buck is completely virginal here and that's. ummm. that's a lot.

[uselessnbee]

i will always be a firm believer that this was Mike's oh no i like him moment

and that's why he immediately went after El because he likes her too right? she's cute and really pretty, she's cool she has powers and saved their lifes so many times already! and he really cares for her and missed her this year and it's like Nancy and Lucas said he must have a crush on her! that must be it. so maybe if he focuses on her these feelings for Will (whatever those feelings might be) will go away and he can be normal right?

and this was his oh fuck i'm in love with him and it won't just go away but it's too late now moment

[kcrra]

[eye twitching] yeah it's fine that i've spent the last year and a half trying to convince people that house of the dragon should not be reduced down to "teams" or medieval euphoria because in reality it's supposed to be a complex, borderline shakespearean, poetic tragedy about the downfall of dragons and their royal line, highlighting how war corrupts and destroys even the strongest of us; representing a critique on monarchy, patriarchy, familial violence and trauma. [eye twitches extra hard] and then hbo just went ahead and released "team green" & "team black" trailers. yeah no it's totally fine im calm about it [eye continues twitching]

[laundrybiscuits]

Eddie’s doing some dumb trick with a couple of wooden spoons, clever hands making them move through the air in improbable ways, and Steve’s about to bite his whisk in half. 

He’d thought for sure that Eddie would be going home the first week; Edward Munson, 29, bartender/musician from Brighton with mismatched tattoos and wild hair, seemed like exactly the kind of pretentious asshole who would flame out early with some ill-advised hipster experimentation. If Steve (28, social worker from Indiana, USA) had been a complete asshole, he’d have said that Eddie didn’t have the fundamentals. That he was all sizzle, no steak. 

It’s a good thing Steve’s not a complete asshole, because Eddie’s been blowing the technicals out of the water so consistently it’s actually pretty fucking embarrassing. His signatures and showstoppers are making a very respectable showing too, except for the time he tried to incorporate some fresh pandan extract and fucked up the liquid ratio, leaving him with a dripping mess that Mary’d declined to even try. 

Afterwards, Steve had seen him leaning against a tree and struggling to light a cigarette. Steve went over for no particular reason, flicking on his lighter and holding it out like a peace offering. Eddie looked at him warily, but bent over the offered flame. 

“Can’t believe I made it through this one,” Eddie said after a moment, white smoke curling out of his mouth.

“Yeah, I feel like that every week.” Steve leaned against the tree next to Eddie. It was a big tree, the kind that’s probably been growing in this field since before England was even England. 

“Nah, but—c’mon, you know what I mean.”

“You had some bad luck with your showstopper. Happens to the best of us, man. Your signature hand pies looked sick as hell.” Steve’s own hand pies had turned out pretty well, so he was feeling generous. It had only been the third week; plenty of time for Steve to snag Star Baker, though even by that point, Steve had been getting the creeping feeling that he was being a little too American about the whole thing. Everyone else seemed to think competitiveness was some kind of deadly sin. It was—actually kind of nice, to get the same kind of nerves he’d always gotten before high school basketball games, but know that he wasn’t really fighting against anyone except himself in the tent.

Anyway, the very next week, Eddie had done some kind of kickass gothic castle with a shiny chocolate dragon and gotten Star Baker for the second time. Steve had clapped him on the back, appropriately manly. Eddie had pulled Steve into a real hug, arms tight around Steve’s shoulders and his whole lean body pressed up close and warm. It had only lasted a moment, and then Eddie had bounded over to Mel and Sue, both of whom he’s been thoroughly charming since the get-go. 

Steve thinks that when this season—or, uh, series—airs, no matter where Eddie places, the entire country is going to be just as charmed. Eddie’s going to get whatever kind of cookbook deal or streaming show he wants. Sponsors will take one look at that handsome face and charismatic grin, and a whole world of possibilities is going to open up for Eddie. 

Steve’s not in it for any of that, of course. He’s here kind of by accident, because Robin pushed him to apply, and it’s a goddamn miracle he’s been holding his own. Hell, it’s a miracle he’s in this country at all. When Robin had started looking at the Cambridge MPhil program in linguistics, she’d said wouldn’t it be great if and he’d snorted, yeah right, like I could ever get whatever job I’d need to move to another freaking country, but then—well. Things had happened the way they’d happened, and now Robin’s almost finished with her degree and Steve is taking time off from the London charity he works at in order to be on Bake Off. 

He’s told all this to the cameras, plus the stuff about how baking started as a way for him to connect with the kids he used to babysit in Indiana, blah blah blah. He thinks it’s probably too boring for them to air, but he gets that they have to try to get a story anyway. 

Eddie Munson, on the other hand, is probably going to be featured in all the series promos. Steve is rabidly curious about what Eddie’s story is, but he hasn’t worked up the nerve to just ask. It should be the easiest thing in the world. They’ve got kind of a camaraderie going, the two of them; a bit of a bromance, as Mel’s put it more than once. 

It’s true they get along pretty well, and the cameras have been picking up on it: on the way Eddie’ll wander over to Steve’s bench like a stray cat whenever they get some downtime, how they wind up horsing around sometimes, working off leftover adrenaline from the frantic rush of caramelization or whatever. There’s the time Eddie had hopped up on a stool to deliver some kind of speech from Macbeth, of all things, and overbalanced right onto Steve, who had barely managed to keep them both from careening into a stand mixer. Sue had patted Eddie on the shoulder and said, “Well, boys, that’ll be going in the episode for sure.”

They both get along with the other contestants just fine, of course, but they’re two guys of about the same age with no wife and kids waiting at home. It’s only natural that they’re gravitating together, becoming something like friends, Steve figures. It’s pretty great that he’s getting at least one real friend out of this whole thing.

It would be even greater if Steve could stop thinking about Eddie’s hands in decidedly non-friendly ways. With all the paperwork he’s signed, he can’t even complain to Robin about how Eddie looks with his sleeves pushed up to show off the tattoos on his forearms, kneading dough and grunting a little under his breath with effort. Steve had almost forgotten to pre-heat his oven that day. 

Two benches away, Eddie fumbles the spoons he’s been juggling with a clatter, and he bursts out laughing, glancing over at Steve like Steve’s in on the joke. Steve grins back, heart twanging painfully in his chest, and thinks: well, fuck. Guess this is happening.