#like what are you? a hive insect? fuck off

[humanimalgam]

this slut has a body now

[merriclo]

I want to know your LU headcanons!

ohHO i will absolutely tell you tysm for asking!! i’ve been wanting to talk abt them for ages but just never got around to it ig ahjdkcka

Time’s actually like 32 and is just really committed to the bit of being ancient

Sky is horrific at making new friends. he grew up with the same small group of people, so he never learned how to make friends with complete strangers because there simply wasn’t the need to. so, when he first starts traveling with the chain, he makes little wooden charms for them because he isn’t entirely sure how else to get close with them. Zelda always enjoyed his woodcarvings, so maybe they will too??

as a result, the entire chain has little trinkets made by Sky. on Legend’s bag there’s charms hanging off the straps, and Twilight wears his as necklaces (both because it looks cool as fuck and it helps the shadow crystal stand out less). yes Wind has specifically commissioned him to make something for Aryll

yeah yeah bunny Legend but consider: the mermaid suit (which I like to think is more of a curse bc get fished pink man <3) giving him some marine animal qualities as well. no matter what tho that bitch is an Ariel kinnie, they’re collecting all the shiny shit they can find

Sky is obsessed with doing puzzles the Right and Proper way, meanwhile Wild cheeses absolutely everything he can

Wind believes in all of those classic pirate superstitions

the witches in Legend’s era adore him. Grandma Syrup dotes on him, Maple is like a teasing older sister, and Irene is like a teasing younger sister. this is where he learned most of his magic skills from, and he takes all potentially enchanted or cursed items to them to check out. he’ll never admit it, but Legend finds lots of comfort in all of them, as they’re one of the few people who’ve stayed in his life this long.

Wild’s a pretty good medic!! during his adventure, he very quickly realized how dangerous infection is, so they learned about a lot of home remedies and medicinal herbs, as well as how to tend to a wound from other travelers at stables and inns. he didn’t really get a choice in learning, considering how he probably got stung or bit by painful insects or accidentally brushed up against painful plants a lot during the early days of their adventure, and thus showed up to stables covered in rashes and hives and such, causing every decent person in the area to flock to them and try to help. their Hyrule is very sweet, okay?

they’re not the only one who’s well acquainted with medicinal herbs, though! while I think all of them would have a basic understanding, Time, Hyrule, Warriors, and Wind would know a lot. dw i’m elaborating

Time quite literally grew up in the forest, was raised by a tree, and had actual forest spirits for siblings—he knows his plants. he and Saria would peel willow bark and collect dandelions together

I like to think that Hyrule being half-fae makes him very sensitive to all magic-based auras, including that of plants, so they’re very good at picking out the healing herbs, even if they’re not quite sure what they’re called

listen ok hear me out about Warriors. young Time was appalled that he knew jackshit about nature and forcefully taught him. also, before modern medicine, medicinal plants were used all the fucking time on the battle field. yarrow, an herb that stops bleeding and prevents infection, is called soldiers’ woundwort because of this. i mention this because he was probably concerned about the health and safety of his troops, so he learned what the medics were doing and using.

Wind grew up on a small, tight-knit island, realistically they would’ve had to have learned how to use the things around them to their fullest advantage. that being said, his knowledge is sort of useless outside of his own era, aside from what he was taught in the war. ok i’m done talking about medicinal herbs now i promise sorry it’s a hobby of mine ahhsjdka

Legend’s terrified of dogs. in Link’s Awakening, the dogs are literally balls on chains with huge mouths full of sharp teeth (basically just Chain Chomps). if you want to get angsty with it: it comes from guard dogs being sent after him on his first adventure. he became a lot less scared to more he spent time with BowBow (the ball and chain dog) but, when he woke up, he got the belief that he could only be safe around a dog in his dreams. he’s pretty damn uncomfortable around Wolfie at first, but after lots of time and learning to trust Twilight, he’s able to slowly overcome his fear. sort of. mostly just with Wolfie. he still hates staying at stables in Wild’s Hyrule.

if Wild doesn’t want to explain/source something he’ll just say it came to him via divine intervention. Sky believes it every single time

I was thinking about Legend’s story a while ago and realized it was kind of similar to Joan of Arc’s so take that as you will. idk if this even counts as a headcanon but i’m putting it here

Warriors and Twilight are really close friends because they both understand the struggles of wrangling dirt worshipping nature freaks. anytime Twilight (lovingly) complains about Wild, Wars will counter with whatever asinine feral child antics young Time got up to and suddenly Twi will feel very blessed and lucky

whenever Four sees someone with their hair in a high ponytail he subconsciously thinks they’re very smart and respectable because Dot always wears her hair in a high ponytail

Hyrule is completely fine with not sleeping on a bedroll. they like the dirt, actually. let them sleep in the dirt.

Legend uses apples in his red potions, both to increase their potency and to make them taste better. he also learned how to enchant apples to be healing on their own so sometimes when someone’s hurt he’ll just shove an apple in their face

uhh so ik this is a lot but this isn’t even close to of all my headcanons so yeah there’s that lmao

[vasyandii]

KruegerNak FIC- PLUMERIA

Synopsis: Nak tries a cigarette, talks before a mission.

Warnings: Mentioning of Drugs, Smoking, Violence, Murder

Word Count: 1,000+

Type: Casual, dialogue heavy

Characters: Sebastian Krueger, Phayvanh "Nak" Sotsvahn

Creator Notes: This is actually the most I've ever written in my life xD have fun

Sop Ruak; Chiang Saen, Thailand. It’s the heart of The Golden Triangle; Laos was just across from where they stood. Nausea rarely gripped her, but being here was too close for comfort. The Mekong River was the only thing separating her from what she had two years ago.

It felt familiar, almost nostalgic—if she could even call it that.

She's never been fond of Counter Narcotics Operations; interdictions specifically. Nikolai proposed that Phayvanh's first hand experience with this area would be useful during their time in the East. The setup, at least for larger trafficking operations, was always the same; outdoor labs, “product” stored in barrels or polypropylene woven sacks.

Maybe her feelings are more akin to regret.

“Light.” Sebastian requests, leaning against the guard rails overlooking the Mekong, an unlit tip of a cigarette dangling from his lips. That snapped her out of her introspection.

She pats her pockets, nothing. Fuck, was it like her to be so forgetful?

“Don't got one.”

“Right.” He murmurs, retrieving his own to light for himself.

“Why even ask?” Phayvanh squints, scowling.

A smirk plays across his lips, tendrils of smoke spiraling from them, “I like it when you light them for me.”

That son of a bitch.

“Drop dead.” She mutters, not wanting to look at him after his ridiculous confession.

That got a chuckle out of Sebastian before a silence settled in. It felt uncomfortable, something she’s not used to feeling with him. Maybe it's just her.

It wasn't like she could ignore and forget where she was even for a moment– the humidity in the air, the smell of leaves that were too sickeningly sweet– it's all overwhelming. Not to mention that damn sight in front of them. Maybe that's why he smokes? It Feels like she could break out in hives or have her hair turn gray.

“May I?” She holds out her hand.

Sebastian gives her a skeptical look, cigarette perched comfortably between his fingers. “Thought you didn't do shit like this.”

“You're going to die sooner because of it, might as well catch up.” Phayvanh utters, waving a dismissive hand.

“Fair.” He hands her what remains of his cigarette.

Her fingers awkwardly held it up; more familiar with handing them out than holding one. Phayvanh tentatively brought the borrowed cigarette to her lips. As she inhaled, a harsh burn seared her throat, and a sudden fit of coughing overtook her. The acrid taste lingered, catching her off guard.

“You're supposed to inhale, you know.” Sebastian watches with amusement.

She couldn't help but shoot him an exasperated glare between coughs; a miserable attempt of recovery as the acrid sting from the back of her throat shoots back out.

“So much for trying to catch up with me, huh, Schatzi?” He teased, retrieving what remained from the cigarette , Sebastian expertly drew another lungful before tossing it somewhere on the ground.

"So much for that" She grumbles, finally being able to speak properly.

Krueger smirks, nudging her shoulder with his.

“Want to try that again?” He goads, giving the end of her ponytail a light tug.

Phayvanh swats his hand away “Not really. I thought it'd have more..you know.”

"Tastes like shit and kills you slowly, Phay." He shrugs. "It doesn't offer much in the realm of comfort or relief.”

"I want it to." She sighs, overlooking the Mekong."I feel like I'm back to where I started again.”

A silence settles between them, only the hum of insects and faint splashing of water. "This place isn't Laos," Sebastian says finally after what felt like an eternity.

"But that place is." Phayvanh's eyes direct him to look the strip of land across the river. “And we have to go back there.”

Sebastian follows her gaze. "Are you up for it?" He doesn’t add anything, just leaves the question to hang there in the space between them

The words seem to not want to come out. Phayvanh makes a vague gesture with her hands, hoping he gets what she's trying to say.

"Wow, you should become a spokesperson. Really got me raring to go." he says with a dry grin.

“Don’t be a dick.” She complains, wanting to sulk a little longer.

"Too late for that," Sebastian retorts,the smirk on his face tightens; he gazes at Phayvanh as if he's challenging her to toss another insult.

“I don’t know where I stand in this anymore,” she vents out.

“Bullshit.” Krueger cuts through any potential excuse or argument Nak could throw up against him. “Right now is not the time for a fucking existential crisis."

His curt tone stings worse than when she had taken a puff from earlier -

“What if he's there?” She gives him an incredulous expression- just what right does he have giving life lectures?

Sebastian's gaze sharpens. He doesn't need to ask who she is referring to - he knows.

The snake of the Laotian underworld, mingled with blood and fear.

“He’d kill me.”

“Not if I’m there.” Sebastian chuckles

"He’d kill you first."

"Then we kill him," he replies, as if they were discussing the weather instead of plotting murder.

“..What?” She takes a step back.

Phayvanh had to do a double take at Sebastian's words. Kill him? She was lucky enough Kapano didn't send anyone after her the first time she tried.

"We kill Vang." he repeated,

"No." She lets out a small laugh of disbelief, it eased her more than she liked to admit "Is the heat getting to your head? There's no guarantee we'll even run into him.”

"No guarantee, no," Sebastian concedes with a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders. He then leans in to look at her directly.

"But you and I both know this world isn't kind enough for sweet coincidences." His voice lowered into a whisper "This is your chance Nak-- One bullet- just one can send him straight back to the sty he slithered out from”

"What, so we go out of our way to find him? I can't do that Sebastian." Phayvanh reasoned, crossing her arms.

"That bastard has had a chokehold on your neck since you were old enough to walk,” Sebastian retorts, he knows he's not wrong “It's deserved.”

She wasn't stupid. Naga would cut off the hand she used to stab him with. Then he would use it to do the same thing she did to him years ago; he'd get away with it as well.

“It's not about that, I could lose my job. Isn't this against protocol?" She reminds “He's not a target.”

"No one's going to care if that bastard drops dead, Phay." He urged her

It was clear she considered it for a second.

"I'll take care of it- You just have to be there with me. Like always.”

“You wouldn't.”

"You underestimate me." Sebastian scoffs. "I’d have his head put on a tray for you, Phayvanh.”

[furrbbyx]

somno vine (unedited)

**Note: I go to 1200 words before I realized that "sister" is going to run off some people. I mean it in the way that religious sisters speak about each other, or like...sisterhood. This isn't incest coded. But I can't stop you from thinking what you want.

Inspired by my brain and what I think is happening in my own garden. The passion fruit plant has had very sleepy effects on the ants, so much that I find them napping all over the plant. I think ants work until they die, so it's kid of funny to see them not working, and napping!

I love that. And I thought it would be a fun sexy story to have an alien insect race get seduced by an alien foliage with vines and there's a relationship between the insect girls and the plant by which the ladies are attracted to the thick fleshy nodes on the leaves that have arousing drowsy effects. The ladies help spread pollen all over the huge flowers, the vines fuck them and keep them kind of addicted, eventually seducing most of the tribe. This relationship has been establish in the tribe's lore, but it's been so long since the plant has been seen that the ladies forgot. The plant ends up boosting the longevity and healing of the ladies.

I want to write a story about the effect of a calming substance secreted by a predatory vine on an alien planet. The prey are a race of insect monsters that are probably  a cross of spider and crab-taurs. 4 facial eyes, 4 legs on their torso and two further up like shoulders. They can walk with their bellies and breasts face the the ground and rear up to look more like centaurs. They are  completely the same sex and gender but some have sex organs that extend and some have soft cuticular layers covering the bursa copulatrix.

They are thick big bodied and large, mega fauna on a tropical forest planet. They have lived on the planet in caverns all through the vast tropics since the dawn of time. The plant, which is spread by solar winds across the universe has not been seen in recently memory. Over a few weeks some of the girls have gone missing, and soon it's too obvious to ignore. The sentinels are not at their posts guarding the hive, scouts are over sleeping and abandoning their missions never to be seen again, and the once noisy and communal caverns are empty except for a few drowsy drones. Sisters slumped in archways and on top of each other in the paths as if boneless, appearing oddly satiated.

Runga, an archivist for the race, notices all of this and goes to investigate.

approx 1600 words

NSFW, non humans getting tentacle/vine fucked and having orgies amongst themselves. AFAB insect creatures x non gendered plant alien. Mentions choking and restraint. Also there is substance use mention, an aphrodisiac that makes the ladies horny and sleepy.

Do Not copy, Do Not reproduce.

She finds the vine wrapped around a native tree stretching far into the canopy. When she gets there a few of her sisters call out, intoxicated, happy to see another sister succumb to the plant, and then Runga sees and hears what's going on.

Everyone being fucked and fucking the others. The pollen floating through the air making it hazy and orange. Sisters strung up by the vines suspended and moaning wantonly as their bodies are used an abused by the vines. Some look like they are sleeping in the leaves and under the sepals, some are mouthing the pliant mounded nodes and filling their mouths with the viscous aphrodisiac as if they are mindless.

The air is thick with the smell of the flowers, ejaculate, and the fruits that are beginning to form.

Runga climbs up the tree to the group of sentinels who called to her earlier. She's greeted with cheers from the group and they gather around her. Most of them have larger bodies because of nature things. Runga is addressed by the group's leader and the leader Aesi immediately comes on to the smaller sister. The group closes in and they bully Runga, pull off her bandeau and feed her some of the plant substance.

They also begin to play with the the vines while Runga comes up, but they become so distracted she's able to climb away and deeper into the canopy.

Runga comes upon another sentinel tangled in the the leaves and branches who's being milked and pleasured so much that she seems to be completely submissive to the vines. This is when she realizes that the plant has some ability to chose to pursue the tribe's women and satisfy them sexually. She begins to suspect they are being prayed on and she tries to remember what the old tales and songs revealed about the alien plant. But while she's doing that she also watching that sentinel girl get drained by the vines.

Runga climbs higher as the altitude and the pollen and the substance begins to work on her. She more sisters resting, draped all over the leaves and as she gets closer to the sunlight she notices the pollen getting thicker, buds and fully open flowers. More sisters are writhing all over the flowers spreading the fecund pollen over the plant's reproductive organs.

While exploring, and trying to avoid the the vines which are much more insistent now, she slips and finds her self pressed against a budding flower by the vines. The bud seems to be perfectly textured for Runga to rub her soft cuticular layers all over. It's covered by thick leathery casing with vertical raised bumps and between those are some immature nodes that aren't able to secrete, but they feel really good to rub against. Runga writhes against the bud as the vines tighten around her neck and her nipples. Her senses have been enhanced and she feels lazy and sleepy. She takes her time and uses what little ability she does have to pay attention to the way the vines seduce her.

Runga started early and now the second sunrise has come and gone before she begins to think about a way to escape. The vines aren't as attentive now that she's sated so it's surprisingly easy. Runga suspects the vines are preoccupied somewhere else and she takes advantage by climbing out of the vines' embrace and heading down to the roots.

The roots are not so far down, and since she arrived by a vine she had no map of the plant to go by and was surprised by the bulbous roots poking up from the soil at the base of a single thick stalk. Runga climbs over the tuberous roots and the stimulation from her legs causes the plant to pulsate and twitch and Runga watches in lusty fascination as a bulge travels up the root, then the stalk, spreading up into the nodes and causing them to plump up and start to glisten with aphrodisiac. She experiments and causes it to happen again, which causes more of the sister's moans to fill the air.

Runga decides it's time to explore the rest of the plant and finally makes her way up into the canopy where the heart of the activity seems to be. There are many more sister here where the leaves are large enough to support orgies of them, and of course more of the wide round flowers to lounge and sleep.

There are sisters ass up with tendrils of the plant pumping into their bursa copulatrix. Some are lazily and explicitly slurping at the fat turgid green nodes, and tonguing them back and forth, absolutely entranced by the substance. Runga watches unable to look away as a group of sisters work on another group who have been tied down by the vines, pressed and spread into the perfect positions. 

Aesi was being force fed a thick pulsing tendril and vines had pinned her to a leaf where she was being mounted by another smaller sister who'd positioned herself under the sentinel and was pumping mindlessly into Aesi's quivering body. Many other sister's were in her same situation, being tended to by the vines and the sisters.

Stumbling forward Runga finds herself kissing a tribeswoman, Khedi, a lover of hers in the past. She can't hold back from the effects of the plant anymore. She sucks at Khedi's large breast along with another sister licking the nipple of her other breast. Runga's vision is filled with the sight of Khedi's copulatrix being pumped full of tendrils, a third joins the two already deep in her guts causing a gush of girl cum to splash Runga's face. Khedi moans loudly as her body goes rigid throughout her orgasm and Runga rubs her soft cuticular layers along Khedi's torso. The vines exit Khedi's spent limp body  with a wet creamy sound and slither up to Runga who gratefully rolls over and lets the plant take care of her, lets herself relax, and sleep and wake up to the most delicious pleasure she or her tribe has ever had.

This goes on for a week or two until the cycle of the plant is finished and it is no longer fruiting. The tribe collects some of the fruits and makes them into products they will share with the other societies of their kind at the yearly gathering. She and he sisters have rediscovered the health benefits of the relationship with the alien vine. Longevity and fast healing has been their blessing for helping the plant reproduce and they decide to share the blessing and help to plant more of them across the planet.

Runga has written much about the encounter and has been able to corroborate her experience with the narratives in the memory archives of her people. She still dreams of the days of orgies, often waking up and pleasuring herself so much that she would be tired the next morning. The sisters were closer and more in tune with each other as well. Thriving like never before.

[legy]

what would possess you to lie about this. sorry im fucking insane its just like wrong enough in some very basic facts about honey harvesting that immediately key the whole thing as fucking fake

ok

you are not getting 5 gallons of something accurately described as 'honey' in such a short period of time that the hives are still pissed off about being open/harvested. filtering honey from the form it is in a hive (sealed up in comb) to the viscous liquid form is labor intensive and SLOW AS FUCK. it would take us DAYS to filter our honey into something usable.

YOU FILTER IT!!!!! YOU FILTER THE HONEY!!!!!!! bees DO die when you harvest comb and after centrifuging out the honey from the comb it gets FUCKING FILTERED so it doesnt have INSECT LIMBS IN IT. if there are bees in their honey storage they are storing that shit outside, improperly sealed, in which case you would have a lot more than 3 bees in there and they would have all drowned

low key i dont think the hive would have saved them but whatever

[penname-artist]

So I know that "avian" universes have been created by a few Planes folk, or at least just by buddies @c-119 and @ask-dusty-boy (that I'm aware of currently) but I'm quietly toying with a similar idea of my own, just on the...Opposite side of the scale?

By which I mean, goddamn tiny bird people.

So this is where I wanna dump all of that plated spaghetti of unsorted ideas. I have lost my writing muses so pardon the mess.

I know for normal-sized people to have bird wings, generally the rule of thumb is that you make them bigger, and their wings much bigger, to reach accuracies and such for how they'd get into the air. And also power. Big powerful bird person cool.

For me, creating my own little side-dish sandbox of "human Planes characters but with bird wings so I can play birds too because fuck you still you one human person from an unspecified number of years ago who wouldn't let me play with them" means going the other way. Making them TEENY. fairy sized. Dollhouse scaled. Itty-bitty please do not step on them little bird babies.

This might also be so I can save a bunch of DIY dollhouse items to my Pinterest and melt over them with an excuse that I'm "conducting research" for such a world.

Anyways.

Somewhere I already said and or drew or did something where I was like "Blade. Hummingbird boy. Nuff said." But like LEGIT, I bring this up again. He would have a hummingbirds wings and have similar qualities. Probably would struggle with discerning reflective surfaces in bright sunlight so he's probably hit his head more than once on stuff.

Baby go boom, pass out on ground for while til someone hands him an appy juice (natural sugar is very helpful for replenishing an exhausted hummingbird's energy)

Dusty is probably one of those small wild birds you hear in the morning. Maybe like a robin or something. Loud in the morning, chirpy, big on vocalization and tree branch hopping

...Nick's probably a chickadee. The colors tho. The little round ass fucking body, that thing is so B O R B. He is small round borb. A mess of feathers.

I also won't take literal fairies off the table here because that would be an interesting combination. Or butterflies! Or moths! Or literally any other type of small creature capable of flight. And the likes, for the non-fliers as well

*cough* spider Maru *cough*

Fuck now I want to ironically make Cabbie into some kind of tiny bat thing

The SJ can be his bugs- I mean um beetle styled people

GUYS, NOBODY SLEEP ON KEEPING TINY BIRD PEOPLE IN A DOLLHOUSE AT HOME THO.

I imagine there's a terrible pet industry for them if that's the case, but my point still stands that if you take good care of them you should get to have them around as trusty companions! Maybe less like a pet hamster and more like a befriended hive of bees

They have predators. Likely just any animal that would eat what they would be animal-wise. But like not each other. That'd be weird. Also if that was the case Cabbie would be down like, five Smokejumpers. So no it's just the big pred animals going after them not them after themselves

Cats are NOTORIOUS for getting to them. I fully believe Rip would have set one on Dusty in their final race, on purpose.

They probably aren't like, just woodland fairy like creatures anymore, like the stories would have you believe. I think they'd all be integrated somewhat with the modern world and have a lot of evolution themselves, so they basically have scaled down versions of everything normal humans have, even down to styled choices of clothing...well, minus the added wings

They probably don't lay eggs

They do molt though when stressed

I have to imagine there's SOME sort of process to the insect ones on shedding skins?? That's kinda gross but like? It's nature??

*cough* spider Maru *cough*

Catching them is probably illegal, especially inhumanely (ie in ways that injure or risk injury to them, like using bug nets, zappers, etc) and accidental capture (like from mouse traps let's say) may be fineable

(okay but someone stuck on a sticky mouse trap is kind of funny to me. They have such an angry grin and the occasional 'flflflflfl!' of wings)

That's it that's my post byeee

[miraluking-respectfully]

I wanted my next longpost about DNT to focus on what this book reveals wrt the process of Joining. Instead, I accidentally went on a rant in the Discord server about the Killiks as a people during this particular era of galactic history in-universe, and by extension, Raynar Thul.

Raynar Thul, aka UnuThul, is a Joiner of Unu of some significance who I've put off explaining because when I entered the book, I knew about him and I considered his presence abhorrent. I've since gotten over some of those feelings, but I'm better off copy-pasting my Discord Rant than to try and summarize here.

Spoilers for The Joiner King below, but don't worry about that too much, as I'm kind of reading this book so you don't have to.

Call me Bug Walker.

*bad rimshot*

Begin Copypaste

The trouble with this particular novel is that while it's EXTREMELY juicy with Bug Lore, half of what it reveals about Kind society/culture/biology are New Developments™️ that i'm having to untangle from what could feasibly have been present before, ie, within the SWTOR era. Basically the premise of this book is that the nest has been undergoing some Changes due to the influence of a highly Force-sensitive Joiner, who was then able to extend his will over the nest as a whole. So discovering which is the nasty yucky invasive anthropomorphism introduced into my bugs by this character and which is the acceptable seasoning of anthropomorphism inherent to the development of a fictional intelligent species is not always super cut and dry

Like, the care given to individual casualties is an explicitly new development (makes sense, there aren't a ton of eusocial hive insects IRL that perform triage), but is the spaceport they built? Is the trade they're performing with other species? Is the Colony involving multiple distinct nests sharing a unified hive mind as opposed to a bunch of them? I'm like, not sure

Which is kind of funny, because the idea that the Killiks were a static culture until this One Guy with the right levels of space magic crashed into their planet & exerted his will over them with his last burst of near-death strength Also Really Bothers Me(edited)

"Well, Mads, if you like an aspect of Killiks 2.0, you can just pretend it's always been present in Killiks 1.0!" I don't waaaannaaaa

I want the LEAST anthro version of my bugs!!! I want the version of them BEFORE Raynar Thul got his grubby little mind all over them!

Joiners as a concept are fuckin sick not only because of what the bugs can give to them but for what they can give to the bugs. Joiners aren't Oops! All Hive Mind, they are two minds. Your old personality and memories still exist, but your understanding of the world and your priorities are now one with the Hive. And because I <3 TLT and I'm really big on the permeability of the soul rn, that suggests to me that the character and personality of a hive would change, slowly and surely, depending on the types of Joiners incorporated into it. It would have to. If the hive mind pre-Raynar has no clear source, no clear singular will behind it (disclaimer: IDK if this is true, I have 2.75 more entire book to read), then it could only be shaped and influenced by all its participants, bug and otherwise.

Raynar's existence + influence over the Colony doesn't preclude this possibility, but like. He does raise a question,

that being, could any Forcie have done this under the right circumstances? if not Why not

Like the book hasn't stated it outright but the wiki seemed confident that this guy has been the only Forcie Joiner to get subsumed, and while I don't know if that's a wholly accurate statement bc fucking nobody has read these books, the fact that the books gave the wiki authors that impression BUGS ME (pun intended)

This is the first EU book I've ever read. IDK what kinds of fuckin galactic percentages of Forcies to non-Forcies it's assuming. Obviously the number would be low because this book takes place a point when the Jedi are bouncing back from a painful extinction, but that extinction was recent, it was artificial, and also as we all know well Jedi =/= all Force users and statistically it is buckwild crazy to me that the Killiks would exist for 20,000+ years (the migration Vector mentions was introduced here btw! These are the Kind that left Alderaan, that he was looking for!) and at no point would they have picked up a strong-willed Force-user before this one dude

Now, there IS a confounding factor here. Which is, I imagine any other Forcie Joiners pre-Raynar were not, um. Trying to influence the nest as hard as he was

For starters he's just super duper strong in the Force, but also, he Joined because he crashed into a planet and crawled out of his ship half-dead and super on fire after watching multiple of his friends die horribly, and the will he exerted over the Killiks was a last-ditch effort to get them to save his life as opposed to eating him

that is a SPECIFIC-ASS set of circumstances and maaaybe if such a thing happened again within a different and unrelated nest, the same thing could have happened. Maybe it wasn't the presence of Force abilities that caused this one guy's brain to redirect the flow of the collective mind, but the effort he was putting behind it, effort that previous Force-sensitive Joiners had not found a need to wield

And also, like, UnuThul is 100% a Joiner. He is no more the same guy he was going in than Vector is, this is made clear

Bright side: as I said, I have A TON of this book left to go. And there have been a bunch of really strange happenings within the nest that Raynar in his Dawn-Herald-On-Steroids role seems as baffled by as the rest of the Kind. So maybe the next Big Reveal is gonna blow my ass clean off, slash positive, and make this all sit right with me.

But nonetheless I am bovvered. I am bovvered that a hive mind could develop a person in the drivers' seat for any reason. It feels too easy and it feels too anthropomorphizing, and both of those make it reeeally boring

End Copypaste

[dogcodedcatboy]

HIIII CRICKET we need bug, tarot, and headphones for aaroman like. Now. ‼️‼️

♡ @eternally-smitten

HI NATTTTT !!!! thank u for sending an ask owo hope ur doing well 💚 this answer is gonna be long as fuck cause u picked such good questions...

(also putting the bug prompt under a readmore so ppl who do not want to see insects can skip!)

tarot - what tarot cards would best represent your s/i and f/o?

aaron looking ass question...he loves tarot cards...im on my break at work so i cant do the deepdive i wish i could so these might just be out of the major arcana ... however i would love to look at all the cards and like rlly pick ones.

roman is the devil (ha). it's commonly interpreted as being related to feeling stuck (caged perhaps?) where you are. stuck in bad patterns, dependencies, etc. not being in control of your own destiny. also a few sources i looked at talked abt it being associated w materialism and also playfulness sooo

aaron is the chariot. card associated with confidence, assertiveness and control. maybe even aggression. keeping your impulses under wraps to get shit done, the balance between heart and mind.

i will end up elaborating on these later bc i know aaron is Truly something in the swords suit. but. this is good for now.

headphones - what genre of music does your f/o like to listen to?

MAN. SO MUCH TO SAY ON THIS...keepin it brief. my roman playlist is built around his music taste so thats a good place to start but. 90s/2000s alt rock/art rock. pixies, blur, placebo, radiohead, talking heads, arcade fire...whatever LCD soundsystem is.

i think he likes electronic music too (in the scripts he is listening to EDM before his fathers funeral so? weirdo) and no one is immune to some good 2000s pop.

thinking abt aaron influencing romans music taste... he likes how sad csh sounds and will listen to them. aaron puts him on to Say Anything and he really really likes them bc theyre weird and edgy.

also the bloodhound gang 😔

bug - if your s/i and f/o were insects/bugs, what kind would they be?

OH BOY im so entomologypilled so this is a hard one cause i wanna pick things that fit...

aaron is (surprise) an african deaths head hawk moth (Acherontia atropos). not just because he has a tattoo of one / they look cool. they just happen to be ASSHOLES as far as moths go. when theyre scared/pissed off the squeak really loud??? they also have been observed to raid honeybee hives (rude). the adult moths look scary w the skull and the bright colors but they are harmless to humans.

roman roman roman...this is a hard choice bc hes such a sad little mammal but... my first instinct was jumping spider bc its small and cute and has big wet eyes (also they are a little faggy). but specifically i think he would be smthn in the genus Myrmarachne because they are mimics (batsean mimicry is so roman, when a harmless species makes itself look like something more dangerous to avoid predation) !!! blending in w the evil bitey ants for protection but. not so aggressive after all.

alternative answer from a friend. i like this as well bc then they r both moth boyfriends

[imustbenuts]

FEH crackfic: Maximum Uptime

(not gonna post this on AO3 this fic dies with my tumblr lmao)

Summary: Kiran Protection Squad is always recruiting. Kiran is always suffering.

Being the summoner came with a lot of perks. If Kiran so much as sneezed, some hero would immediately swoop by and drape a cloak or a shawl or a roll of goddamned bloodstained fur over their form.

“It wouldn’t do for the summoner to catch a cold!” Chrom would cheerily say, as he visibly shuddered in the winter cold. Then the exalt himself would come down with a fever the very next day and be nursed and fussed over by a multitude of Robins. …And Grimas.

(They swore Chrom might’ve mumbled something about being in heaven, but frankly that was none of Kiran’s business to what qualified as heaven in that man’s half cooked mind.)

“Mark, you must take better care of yourself!” Lyn would chide, wrapping them up like a human burrito and depositing them in a warm room, trapping them there for the better part of the day. 

(Also, Lyndis, for the love of all things holy, their name wasn’t Mark… Her delusion or denial was stronger than a vice grip that Eliwood and Hector were about to stage an intervention, and Kiran prayed it worked. (It didn’t. The human burrito saga continued and Kiran finally learned the proper form to running.))

“I wrestled a bear to death. So what of it?” The towering Lif would say flatly, and Kiran stared at Alfonse whose frame was significantly smaller in the distance. They had to remember to be careful around Lif, for a simple backhand from his handsomely chiseled muscled arms would knock them straight out into Lfjosalfheimr.

He was pleased to have beaten the bear to death at least for this gloriously thick and warm cape he was wrapping Kiran up in.

And then Kiran broke out in hives, causing Lif to nearly commit Hoshidan seppuku on the spot. Turns out, they were allergic to bears(‘ furs). 

Oh, perks? Hang on. Hold the phone. Yeah, wait, there were no phones in this universe.

Debuffs would have been a better word. (Sorry, sorry, apologies. Something went wrong in Kiran’s mind.) Yes, being the summoner afforded Kiran debuffs, they recognized. Massive immobilizing debuffs.

Granted, it was certainly embarrassing and even soothing in a sense, to be watched and coddled over like this. Last time they checked, they were but the tender age of 6 before being dumped into the schooling system and having all free time filled with school, school, activities, and school.

Heaving cough? Go to school. Chicken pox outbreak? Why, school – they were vaccinated for maximum uptime anyway. Bedridden in the hospital? Remote learning, baby!

Here though? Have a cough, a hero comes along with soothing sweets and cooling tea. Sneeze, and they’re sure to be buried under comforters. Go on a patrol, and inevitably there was a shadow force trailing behind them.

Just like now. 

At some point, they sat down in a corner, next to Grima. 

“Why?”

“Why what?” The fell dragon grumbled and inched away, as if he was going to explode from their mere presence. (The Grimas had always been lowkey fearful of Kiran, they learnt.)

Kiran made a motion towards the corner of the room where at least 2 heroes were hanging out, both sworn into the Summoner Protection Squad, pretending to be part of the wall.

“Because you’re weaker than an insect, you insignificant speck. A newborn fawn would sooner topple you.”

“No, I’m normal. Everyone here is just superhuman – I mean, leaping off platforms vertically into the skies? Fuck me, that’s crazy. They won’t listen when I tell them to back off either…”

“How is that my problem? Why are you here? Misfortune follows me whenever you appear, so go away!”

“But you find the best quiet spots.”

“Yes. RUINED BY YOU, WORM!!”

And so Grima manifested his true form and blocked out the nice sunlight.

Kiran sighed as Grima ranted and raved above them and brought the Kiran Protection Squad (henceforth KPS) pouring out from the woodworks. Fuck. Nevermind. Grima was as much a goddamn megalomaniac who liked speaking in all caps all of the sudden, and the quiet spot wasn’t so quiet anymore.

“FUCK YOU, WORMS! I WILL HAVE MY QUIET SPOT!”

“Alright, who taught Grima the word ‘fuck’?!” yelled some random hero from the KPS. Probably Chrom, whatever.

Also Grima's voice was now at least seven times more pissed off.

Kiran raised their hand, then got into position to run for it. One, two – and predictably, a force tossed them into the ground. 

A wild Lyndis appeared. She was fast. Faster than the wind sword gun by their side – nevermind, wrong person. Her shawl of binding wrapped around them quicker than they had any right to protest, and they wiggled.

“It’s dangerous, Mark! You must get out of here!”

She handled them like football. Then Kiran sneezed as they passed by Lif, and someone from the Damned Protection Squad (henceforth DPS) threw another layer of sheet over them, elevating them into the position of Great Bagworm Hero.

The human burrito saga. It’s happening again.

“Halt. Let us barter peace, Grima.” spoke the leader of DPS, her heavenly voice emanating from the skies above. “Pledge your allegiance to us, and you shall have your quiet spot back.”

The great divine dragon Naga descended from the heavens like she was being lowered with a forklift. 

“YOU?! ACCURSED NAGA, TO HELL WITH YOUR PEACE! I WOULD SOONER WATCH YOU CHOKE! NEVER!”

“We have cookies.”

The gigantic serpent dispelled and peace returned once again to Askr.

“Okay deal.”

And thus the power of DPS grew stronger that day.

Kiran wanted to cry. It never ends.

[the-cryptographer]

Not really ao3 worthy at this point (I'd like to edit and contemplate a second chapter), but here's a little something I wrote for the most important day of @rainstormcolors YGO Super Rare Pair Week.

Atem/Haga & some cracky dimensional travel to the Insect Queen's Lair.

~~

“You can’t be serious about going back in there?!”

Haga’s question came out in a deranged screech. And Atem leaned back and away from the gnash of his teeth. The putrid cowardice of his being.

Disdain was an uncomfortable feeling, like something slimy on your tongue. Atem got angry to cover the taste.

“You would leave your friend behind?!” he demanded. “In the depths of that hive?!”

“The bugs have probably torn him to death already!” Haga protested.

His brow scrunched. His beady black eyes looked very large, magnified behind the lens of his glasses. They were the same gold frames with the scarab as he’d wore in Atem’s dimension. Or Yuugi’s dimension, maybe. Atem wondered where he’d gotten them, and where he’d gotten that brown jumpsuit he was wearing.

Before Atem could ponder on that more, he realised with sudden horror that there were tears beading in Haga’s eyes as well, enlarged by the lens.

“That wasn’t what I asked anyhow!” Haga hissed. “He’s not your friend in there! You’re the one that shouldn’t be serious about it?!”

Atem crossed his arms over his chest, looked into Haga’s face for some betrayal – something underhanded waiting to be uncovered.

“Jounouchi liked Ryuuzaki,” Atem said. A friend of Jounouchi’s was a friend of his. And Ryuuzaki was Haga’s friend. Which make them unfortunate friends-in-law.

“Jounouchi?” Haga sneered. “That bleach-blonde thug thought he was better than us. As if his ugly face wasn’t just as unpopular with the girls.”

“Girls?” Atem blinked.

“Feh,” Haga spat. “It was just Ryuuzaki and me back when- Just don’t act like you care!”

He stomped off. Only as far as the other end of the cave, thank Ra. They didn’t need to draw unwanted attention.

Though Atem suspected it wouldn’t matter in the end. This place stank like dung and honey, sweet and rotten. No corner untouched by those insect monsters, the Korogashi. It was empty for now, but he and Haga would be found eventually.

Atem tried to summon his Ka – Black Luster, the three Gods, Mana and Mahaad, Exodia. But he couldn’t get his Ba to manifest.

He wondered if he’d have been able to with one of Kaiba’s duel disks.

Thinking about Kaiba made Atem angry again. Angry and infuriated and a little heartsick. Even if Atem himself was stuck in this hellish dimension, he hoped Kaiba had made it back home safely to Mokuba. He hoped Kaiba hadn’t just splintered and fragmented the entire fabric of the universe, like an amateur jeweler getting overenthusiastic with a diamond and a pair of shears.

Yeah, big fucking thanks to your stupid boyfriend~ It was impossible to tell Priest Set’s sneer from Insector Haga’s.

“He’s not my-!” Atem reared on his companion. “Don’t talk about him like that!”

Because no matter how frustrated Atem was with Kaiba, Kaiba had thought everything and the whole universe was worth risking to come see Atem again. Not Yuugi, and not the Pharaoh, but Atem as a person. And Atem wouldn’t let anyone else call him stupid for that.

The world winked out and then winked back in with a flash of blue light.

It was still the cave – the borough of these insects. Dung and honey.

“What did I do?!” Haga whined.

He was looking at Atem like he hadn’t even said anything. Maybe he even hadn’t.

Atem let out a groan of frustration. The problem was he didn’t know. Haga took advantage of things like this. Made doubt yourself. Made you trust him before he turned on you.

“Oh, you mean Jounouchi?” Haga sneered. His eyes narrowed with sudden sadistic focus. “Did you ever show him that costume then?”

Haga pointed at Atem’s forehead and laughed, an ugly nasally thing. And it took Atem a moment to realise he was pointing to the golden eye of Wedjat.

Atem looked down at his white and purple Pharaoh's robes, from the dimension he’d come from. As foreign to Haga as Haga’s own brown jumpsuit was to Atem.

“So you never did show Jounouchi, your precious ‘friend’?!” Haga laughed. “I guess you knew he’d think you were worth as little as us, if he knew you were an Egyptian mythology otaku! Or do you also think you were better than us, Yuugi?”

Haga let out a derisive snort.

“Let me set it straight for you!” he shouted. “Dinosaurs are better than pyramids any day of the week! And bugs are better than both of them!”

Atem felt a little deflated. He was never going to understand why dinosaurs and bugs and pyramids were worth shouting over like this but-

“I’m not Yuugi,” he said.

“What you have a character name for your Live Action Role Play?” Haga mocked. “You have to be cuter to get me to call you Cleopatra~”

“No, I’m not Yuugi,” Atem insisted.

Haga blinked. Readjusted his glasses. Blinked, like maybe in the dim light of the cave, through the fog of these different dimensions, he was seeing for the first time Atem’s coiled hair and dark skin.

“You knew I wasn’t Yuugi!” Atem felt furious now. “You taunted me! You pretended to rip his soul apart, when he was trapped in the Seal of Orichalcos!”

“W-What are you talking about, Yuugi?” Haga said. “We haven’t seen one another since you destroyed my Perfectly Ultimate Great Moth at Duellist Kingdom… And that was before… um… There was a disaster… My brother’s pesticide business…”

Haga scratched the back of his head.

“How did I get here?” he asked.

It occurred to Atem that this might not be his Haga. That they might have come from totally disparate planes of existence, and were only meeting here briefly in this strange dimension.

Haga didn’t seem to be taking this well.

“How did I get here, Yuugi?!” he demanded. And when Atem had no answer for him, he flared up. “This is all your fault! If you hadn’t distracted me, Ryuuzaki wouldn’t have been captured by those-!”

There was a loud scuttling sound echoing through the caves. Something scraping the edges of the tunnel.

“Quiet!” Atem hissed. He lunged forward and pressed his hand over Haga’s mouth.

Haga might have made things difficult for Atem if he tried. Because even if he was a hair shorter than Atem, he was stockier, less lean.

But for some reason Haga didn’t make trouble. And, distracted by the problem at hand, Atem pressed them both towards the burough’s smallest darkest corner, where he thought they might be overlooked by their approaching assailant.

The Korogashi rolled its mound into the cavern, scuttled, pincers snapping.

They said the monster crushed its foes with the dung it rolled, but Atem didn’t thought it could have crushed them all by itself. These insects monsters were as large as people, or larger. Like holographs but solid. Like pain.

Atem closed his eyes, and tried once more to summon something from his Ba. Not even caring whose hand he reached, as long as it was someone’s. Then-

“Boh!”

Something popped into existence.

Atem blinked, and the first thing he saw was Haga’s eyes, wide as saucers. He followed them to the Ka he’d summoned.

“Boh! Boh! Boh!” Kuriboh said. Its eyes narrowed in determination. And it gave a salute, before bouncing off through the cavern.

Atem heard rather than saw the Korogashi turn and follow in pursuit.

He waited a moment in silence then, when he was sure the monsters had gone, became very suddenly aware of Haga’s lips damp against his palm.

Atem dropped his hand quickly and stepped back.

Haga seemed to come to himself, slapped Atem further away. His pale face looked very pink in the dim light.

“…Are you alright?” Atem asked.

Haga’s flush deepened, but he didn’t bother answering, or even meeting Atem’s eyes.

“Ugh! It doesn’t make any sense!” Haga cried.

“It doesn’t?” Atem said stupidly. Mostly because a lot of things weren’t making much sense right now.

He thought about the Kuriboh. He hoped it would be okay. Manage to escape the insects.

“Honeypot ants are one thing,” Haga was saying. “But dung beetles don’t live in colonies! They live in mated pairs! They shouldn’t be organised like this!”

“Right,” Atem said.

“Unless…” Haga snapped his fingers. “Insect Queen!” he said. “They must be answering to the Insect Queen.”

“…Right,” Atem said. He didn’t understand how Haga was reaching these conclusions but, well… Even if Atem couldn’t trust Haga, he definitely trusted that Haga knew more about insects than him.

And maybe that knowledge would be useful right now.

“These common bugs are one thing,” Haga was fretting, “but if the Insect Queen has Ryuuzaki… But could I betray my Queen for…”

Atem feel like he suddenly knew everything he needed. “You plan to go after Ryuuzaki?”

“That’s what I said from the start!” Haga snapped. “You’re the one that shouldn’t-”

“Then I’ll help you,” Atem said.

Even if the universe shattered. Even if this dimension was going to fade out like a dying star.

And who knew? Maybe Kaiba or Mahaad or Mana would still find a way to save them.

But even if this was the end of everything, helping two friends reunite wouldn’t be the worst way for Atem to spend his last moments.

“It seems I’m still able to summon low level Ka,” he said. “With my Ka, and your knowledge of insects, we can put together a strategy to rescue Ryuuzaki.”

He turned and started out the cavern.

“Let’s go,” he commanded. “We’ll plan as we move. I don’t work well if I’ve gone on the defensive too long.”

“Uugh!” Haga groaned. But he fell into step, running to catch up. “Who do you think you are bossing me around like that?!” he demanded. “Who put you in charge of everything?!”

“Atem.” He didn’t bother answering the question about who’d put him in charge. “My name is Atem.”

[dreaminghour]

Obikin Step-Brothers AU - Mistaken identity

Event: @domaystic Fandom: Star Wars Rating: Mature Audiences Prompt: 09 Mistaken identity Ship: Obi-Wan/Anakin Context: Modern AU. Obi-Wan and Anakin are step-brothers for about ten years before getting together. Obi-Wan just got his own apartment so they're no longer living under the same roof, this is the morning after Anakin helps him move. You can read more of this AU on AO3. Words: 806

"You don't need it," Anakin said, quickly making sure the door was locked before dogging Obi-Wan's steps across the street.

"Jaywalking," he hissed.

"Fuck you," Obi-Wan retorted.

"Wish you would," Anakin sang in a low voice.

Obi-Wan whirled around and caught Anakin by surprise, hands landing on his waist, a zing traveling down his spine as he felt the taut muscles beneath his hands.

"Once not good enough for you?" Obi-Wan asked.

Anakin didn't waste anytime, stepping up on tip toes to wrap his arms around Obi-Wan's neck and peer down at him with a love-sick expression.

"Can you blame me?" Anakin asked in a low, throaty voice.

It made Obi-Wan feel entirely too many things for a bright Saturday morning out in public, so he shoved Anakin's arms off him and turned away.

He walked quickly, but he could hear Anakin running to keep up, so he didn't look back.

It might have been Anakin's idea, but Obi-Wan had snapped it up immediately because he knew that if he didn't he might never go. So here they were, traipsing into the early bustle of the farmer's market. Anakin stuck close, hand light on his elbow, unobtrusive but a weight nonetheless.

They meandered, Anakin dissuading Obi-Wan from all his purchases, even though Anakin was the one who kept sticking his nose into every stall, asking questions, trotting back with samples.

"At last," Obi-Wan said, grabbing Anakin by the hand as though he were twelve, and pulling him toward a stand.

The woman standing behind the red-and-white checkered table wore tinted glasses and her long gray hair was loc'd, white at the roots and nearly black at the tips, bound together behind her back. She was very short.

"Hi, welcome to Ms. Dee's Beehive," she said in a mellifluous voice, "I'm Ms. Dee. Is there anything I can help you boys with today?"

"I'm just looking for a plain honey, actually. To help with my allergies. Do you have your hives locally?"

"Of course, dear," Ms. Dee said. "I live just outside town, and the hives are actually in my front yard. If you ever drive down Old County Road, heading east, just look for a tall purple house with flowers all over. That's me. The insects are buzzing around so long as there isn't snow on the ground."

She winked at Anakin for some reason before turning her gaze back to Obi-Wan.

"That close enough for you, hon?"

Obi-Wan felt oddly chastened.

"Yes, it is, I'm just looking for something to put in my tea…"

"We have several plain blends, though our simple bear is probably best for what you need." She laid a hand on the the crate of clear honey-filled bears with their little red caps. "If you're interested in having it on toast, we also have naturally flavored honey…" And she rattled off several varieties and then showed him the jams which were sweetened with honey.

At some point, Anakin had sidled up beside Obi-Wan and was peering over his shoulder.

"You should get the blueberry," he murmured in Obi-Wan's ear, "you'll like that one."

"Oh, do you like blueberry, hon?" Ms. Dee asked, plucking a small jar from the display. "Are you gonna get one of the bears too? If you're sharing, two might last you longer."

"Just the one, please," Obi-Wan said, pulling out his wallet.

"And the blueberry?" Anakin asked, nudging him.

Obi-Wan hesitated.

"Trust your boyfriend, sweetie. He knows what you like!"

Beside him, Anakin froze, slowly leaning away and Obi-Wan's heart seemed to thud audibly in his chest. Only a few days ago they'd been trying to figure out what to tell strangers, unable to compromise, ultimately settling on continuing to keep it a secret… whatever this was.

What struck Obi-Wan was, were they already behaving like a couple instead of brothers? He was afraid that he'd say the wrong thing and end up hurting Anakin. What he wanted was to smile at Anakin in acknowledgement, but he also wanted Anakin to set the tone.

And it occurred to him that Anakin was possibly waiting for him to do the same.

So he gave Anakin's hand a squeeze, leaning close as though to whisper and saying in a fond voice, "Only if you'll promise to help me eat it."

And to his surprise and joy, Anakin blushed.

It felt different, to know him this way; like even after knowing him for ten years and embarking on this together, he could learn something new.

He paid, got a little bag and a tilted smile from Ms. Dee, and put his hand in Anakin's elbow as they slowly made their way back to the apartment. It wasn't the nicest place, but the benefit of spending as much time with Anakin as he wanted, without anyone interrupting, was worth it.

[snowdoniasupernaturalsociety]

Ancient Aliens: Arrival

Three aliens land on the surface of earth pre-agricultural human society, sounds like the beginning of a joke, and in many ways it is.

As the night descends upon their little patch of the Earth. Dietrich, Marcus, and Cyrill argue amongst themselves about which of Earth's native species will become dominant. Dietrich argues that insectoids are statistically most likely to achieve dominance due to their large population and hive-mind.

Marcus disagrees, as he always does, vouching for the efficacy of the planet's dinosaur population. He is unaware of the tragic fate of the dinosaurs since the last observation of Earth. Though I suppose that's old news to you, and to most of the galaxy's empires with up-to-date planetary records.

Cyrill supposes that from what they've observed humanity has the most room to develop, citing their use of tools and domesticated animals. He would have been wrong, of course, if not for the intervention of three incompetent alien scientists. I'm sure you can guess their names at this point.

"You remember what happened the last time we decided to study primates, right Cyrill?" Dietrich would ask, as he glared at the insectoid across from him. "Because I remember you trying to defend 'sudden planetary implosion' to the Ethics Committee after we tried to introduce them to spacefold technology."

"Oh we remember, in fact, I remember how you bet us 50 credits that if we left a spacefold engine on Omega-9 they'd never even figure out hot to turn it on." Cyrill retorted with as smug an expression an insect could manage, before finishing his cup of water and setting it down on the ground.

"50 credits that you still owe us." Added Marcus, before he stood up from the rock he'd dragged over nearly five hours ago so he didn't have to spend their whole discussion standing. "I'm getting the fabrication module, and the straws, we're right on schedule to set up the farm." He said, before he walked into the spaceship.

After nearly an hour of arguing over an instruction manual the three of them gathered around the fabrication module which had been anchored into the ground. Marcus set the cup filled with straws on top of the module and the three of them closed their eyes and drew a straw each, followed by a loud groan filling the silence of the early evening.

"This has to be rigged. There is no way, statistically, that I would have drawn the short straw three missions in a row." Dietrich said, a hairs breadth away from a rant about statistics and probability when Marcus interrupted. "We can't change the straws now, we've been drawing straws since the first mission."

"I suppose." Dietrich agreed, although he still had his reservations about the methodology. "But with how short the night cycle is I want tomorrow off, it'll be daylight again by the time I've even finished planting potatos in this soil." He said as he picked up the shovel and tapped the ground with it to demonstrate his point.

"Only if those potatoes are actually planted. We didn't expend the resources of Theta-98 developing the perfect food for you to forget to plant it, again." Cyrill activated the fabricator module as he said this, then left it to convert local resources into a suitable base. "See you in ten hours, Dietrich."

As two of our alien friends slept in the spaceship and another slaved away building the farm they didn't even notice a tribe of their new human neighbours watching from afar, keen to see what the strange looking creatures were doing to the soil. "Fucking straws." Dietrich said aloud to himself as he picked up the hoe to begin tilling the freshly loosened dirt.

And that concludes our story, and the origin of the first curse word added to the human vocabulary. I have been your deep space conversational companion, goodnight.

[randomperson339]

Insects Gods and Mortals: A Hollow Knigh/Alien fanfiction

(here's the mastpost for this fanfic)

Warning: graphic depictions of gore and sex-talk eventually

------

“Fuck.”

For the second time, that was all Thomas could say. If he was the host- if he was going to die- he needed immediate attention. Hopefully- hopefully he would have a week to sort everything out, and possibly get surgery to at the very least kill-

“No. No kill. Stay alive.” The queen retorted. “you kill / I kill you.”

“Yeah, but what about my life?” Thomas retorted. “If I just kill myself-“

“No.” The queen commanded, sending more shockwaves of pain coursing through Thomas. “I no die. Therefore, I keep host alive.”

“Yeah, but if I’m going to die, I might as well just keep myself alive until I tell the Pale King not to murder his hundreds of children. Then after that, I’m going to die anyway, so…”

“No. Keep alive.” The juvenile responded.

“How? Your birth cycle necessitates that I die. Therefore, I might as well just get it over with.” Thomas continued. 

That stumped the Queen for a bit, allowing Thomas to try to stand up, before crashing back down. It seemed the Queen really didn’t want him to leave just yet.

“What about the surz-gur-ee?” The Queen asked.

“Yeah, what about it?”

“What is it?” 

“Um, it would basically be cutting me open when unconscious, then removing you somewhere where we can safely kill you.”

“Impossible to remove. Surz-gury kill host. Natural better.”

“For you or me?” Thomas asked, as a lone figure started to approach.

“For both. I can control birth. Cannot control suez-gury.” 

“But I could control the surgery. What happens, who’s present, if I’m unconscious or not, why would I give that up?” The pillbug-like visage wasn’t in much of a rush, much to Thomas’s chagrin. 

“I could stop pain.” The Queen innocently remarked.

“Yeah, and if I’m going to die anyways, might as well let someone kill you while you’re still weak.” Why was the figure moving so slow? Thomas wanted out of this conversation, now. 

“And why should I die?” The Queen asked, unaware of how bloody her species' history was.

Thomas was given a moment to collect his thoughts, and observe the figure. While it was absolutely a pillbug, it certainly was dressed up in more comfortable clothes than any Thomas had seen...

“Why?” The Queen repeated.

Taking in a breath, Thomas began: “You see, your species is a naturally parasitic species. You need hosts to propagate, and you’re the one that makes all those parasites. If you start a hive, nobody in Hollownest could stop you, leading to a lot of death. Potentially an apocalypse.”

“While I’m sure you might want that, but I don’t think anyone else wants it.” Thomas thought before quickly being shaken awake by the now overhead figure. 

“SIR? Are you alright?” The Pillbug asked, panic filling his voice. 

“Y-Yeah I guess.” Thomas replied, trying to take a stand with his agonising legs, only to come crashing down again. “Actually, no. I’m not.”

As the bug came closer to Thomas, it continued. “I-I’m sorry that I didn’t help you sooner. I thought that you were a body, left there to rot. I was planning on disposing of you, when I saw that big breath you took.” 

“Thanks.” Thomas continued, feeling the Queen starting to mentally brush up against his mind. “I’m just looking for the tailor-

“Oh! To hide your affliction? Of course! I’ll fit you for free! It would be indecent for me to leave you out like this.” The pillbug replied. 

“Ah, good. Could you get me a cloak? And a mask, if you have one.” Tomas rolled over.

“Absolutely.” The pillbug said, hesitated.

“Thank you. I’ll be able to stand up in a minute, go ahead.” Thomas offered, letting the tailor run back to her house. Which left him and the Queen where they left off. 

“Truce? Until outside?” The Queen asked.

“Sure. I don’t try to kill you, and you don’t try to get out.” Thomas stated.

“But need outside. Too confined here.” The Queen rejected. “Will try non-fatal birth.”

“Non-fatal birth?” Thomas inquired. He hadn’t heard of a single Xenomorph that didn’t kill its host upon exit. If, and I mean if, it worked he wouldn’t only have a week to get everything sorted.

“Try.” The Queen stressed. “Theoretical birth. Too inconsistent to try. Host could still die.” 

“Could you stop calling me ‘host’? My name’s Thomas. And try to fix my legs while you’re at it.” Thomas asked.

“Sure ho- Thomas.” Agreed the Queen.

After succeeding to stand up, Thomas took a tentative step forward. That did remind him that his legs were sore, but it wasn’t painfully sore like it was before. It was normally sore like after going out for a jog. 

Steadily walking to the tailor’s house, Thomas asked the Queen “How do you even plan on making me live through you, ah, violent birth?”

“Latch onto eating system. Change h-Thomas’s genes to help. Try to make smaller opening.” The queen informed.

Thomas was surprised at that revelation. “Wait, change my genes? You can do that?”

“Yes.” The  Queen non-chalaly replied. “Have to be careful, but possibility.” 

After thinking for a moment, Thomas carefully inquired. “How do you change somebody’s genes?”

“Um… by using royal jelly.” The Queen responded. “No… scein-tik-fic reason. Just happens.”

“So why/how has this ability been used?” Thomas hadn’t heard of direct genetic tampering with xenomorphs. Why hadn’t they just used that and every xenomorph become an even better killing machine?

“Mostly tweaks/incopertation. Un-based genetic tampering creates disease. Need something to copy off of.” The Queen clarified. 

“So, you can’t create new structures, only change old ones?” Thomas clarified. He really wanted to know what he was getting into. Actually, what he was in.

“Yeah. Can change, not create. Too… finicky.” The Queen finished. 

“Now, what do you plan on doing to me?” Thomas asked, hoping he wouldn’t wake up with giant spikes sticking out of his back. 

“Mostly unnoticeable. Strengthen muscles, help heart, just basic things.” The Queen assured him.

“Good. I really didn’t want to randomly grow a tail.” Thomas joked, right when he reached the tailor’s house. 

Reaching out, Thomas gave a big “thunk thunk thunk” for a knock. Which was promptly followed by the shrill screech of the tailor, followed by a great crashing sound. 

Looking inside, Thomas found the Tailor collapsed under a mountain of cloth. Ducking in, he moved to get the sea of cloth off, however the tailor spoke up first.

“Sorry… but you’re still… covered in soul. Give me a minute and I’ll be right as rain.” The Tailor diswaided. “If you need to get rid of it, I have some drying rags in the back.”

“Thanks again.” Thomas replied, before quickly hurrying out and around the house. Quickly scrubbing off his hands, his bloody hands, He thought about his situation for a moment. 

He was in the world of Hollow Knight, a video game. With a queen xenomorph stuck inside his chest, which was from some movies. Which were pieces of fiction, and weren’t directly related to his previous… reality.

So, if he was currently inside a piece of media, then didn’t that technically make him part of that media? Was he actually being controlled by someone other being that thought it would be funny to put him in another dimension? Was he even real?

His thoughts were interrupted however, by his own blood starting to trickle down the back of his hand. 

“Fuck”

That wasn’t good at all, there were probably hundreds, if not millions of unknown foreign bacteria crawling around on each surface. If even one wrong bacteria got in, it could easily spell the end for Thomas. 

At least his hand weren’t covered in the still warm soul of the Tiktik. That could’ve been a complete disaster. 

However, now Thomas really needed some piece of cloth to make a makeshift bandage. The drying cloths wouldn’t work, since who knows what had been on them, but hopefully the tailor had some extra cloth she could spare. 

Quickly rushing back in, Thomas saw that the Tailor was frantically searching around her house for… something. 

Briefly looking up, the Tailor addressed Thomas. “Ah, sorry, I just didn’t think about you height. Turns out that there’s no cloaks that could cover everything about you.” 

Now that she mentioned it, Thomas was quite a bit bigger than any other bugs he had seen. The Young bug he met was about half his height. The Tailor got to his neck. And assuming that the Tailor was a pillbug (she looked at one, at least), that put him as one of the tallest beings in Hollownest. The only people he really thought were bigger than him were the White Lady, the dreamers, and the hunter. Also the city guards too, but those don’t really count. 

“I could just wear two cloaks, like the clothes I’m wearing now.” Thomas responded. 

“I suppose so…” the Tailor responded, rummaging out two cloaks. “These should be sufficient?”

Thomas held the larger one to his chest, then the smaller one to his waist. “They look pretty good. Do I have to pay for them or…? He led off. 

“With those cloaks?!” The Tailor gasped. “Who in their right mind would let you run around like that? One of them’s got soul in it. Please, consider this a favour.”

“I guess so.” Thomas replied. He hadn’t thought about the warm wetness on his back. “Is there some kind of changing room?” 

“No, but I do need to leave for some food.” The Tailor replied, scooting past Thomas and almost out the door.

“Wait, I didn’t catch your name. What was it again?” Thomas played dumb, rubbing his nape. 

“It’s Helph.” The tailor, Helph as Thomas now knew, replied. 

“Thanks for everything.” Thomas finished, as Helph closed the door. 

“Other Rival queens? Me queen! Me kill! Me slay rivals!” The Queen bounced into Thomas’s conscious. 

“Um, uh don’t kill the other queens.” Thomas ‘spoke’, before elaborating. “The other queens are not like you. You’re supposed to be more of an ant queen, where you lay all the eggs. These queen take more of a leadership role, where they’re not related to anyone else, except their immediate/extended family. They’re not rivals, they’re just… potential allies.” 

“So, keep alive for hosting?” The Queen unabashedly asked.

“No! That’s wrong.” Thomas knee-jerked before making a coherent argument. “I don’t want any facehuggers running around. If one attaches itself to a bug, it’s basically a murder youcommitted.”

At that the Queen grew silent for a minute. “I… murder host?” She meekly said. 

Ah fuck. Thomas had basically just told a 10-year old that she was a cold blooded killer. So, thinking fast Thomas back-pedaled. “I meant when you’re the one controlling the face-hugger! It’s not applicable if you’re not involved with it, it’s whoever was involved with it’s fault! Plus, we’re trying to do a non-fatal birth, right? That’s gotta count for something.”

“Ok…” The Queen replied, in a tont that told Thomas this wasn’t over at all. 

But, now he was feeling a little self-conscious about undressing with anyone around, even if she was technically a part of him. “Could you look away?” Thomas asked. “To make up for the entire… murdering deal.” He fibbed. 

“Where look then?” The Queen asked. “Necessary look. Me only able to see host.” 

“Um… try filtering through my mind.” Thomas offered, before being mortified by the implications. “Just don’t look anywhere too… NSFW. Or private.” He pleaded.

The Queen’s presence retracted, allowing Thomas to change in peace. While he thought using a cloak as a loincloth was a bit too cold(even though he remembered to keep his underwear on), especially with how naturally cold Hollownest was. He kept his shoes and socks on, though. 

The top was a bit better. It was a bit thinner than the bottom cloak, it more than made up for it with covering down to Thoma’s wait. It also had a hood, in case Thomas ever really wanted to go unnoticed (which he did. So he always had it up.)

Now that he was done, he realised he had completely forgotten that everyone in Hollownest had either a mask, or a mask-like face. He couldn’t reasonably go unnoticed if he didn’t have a mask.

And then he had one. It was a “normal” mask, with the top half being perfectly round before tapering off into a point at the bottom. While the eyes were at Thomas’s height, surprisingly enough, the mask still felt off. 

It was a bit… warm. Not in the “cozy up by the fire” warm, but the “just cooled metal warm.” And it had suddenly appeared in Thomas’s possession, which was never a good sign…

But Thomas held it against his face, and he felt it ‘attach’ to him. There wasn’t any straps or strings to attach to Thomas’s face, but it did. It held there, almost floating against Thomas’s skin. 

Freaking out a bit, Thomas immediately threw the mask away. It obeyed gravity like normal, and was flung to the ground, causing a thin creek of a crack to form from the bottom of the mask to the right eye.

Steeling himself, Thomas picked the mask back up and put it back on.

While it felt weird to have something almost floating against your face. With nothing connecting you to the mask it was just some warm thing obscuring your peripheral vision. In summary, Thomas was getting rid of it the first chance he got. 

And as Thomas began walking to the stagway,(carrying his clothes to appear busy) the young Queen grew curious. “What’s Radiance? Why both real/unreal? Connected to ‘infection’?”

“She’s a ‘higher being’ that rule over Hollownest a thousand or so years ago with a hive-mind, until the Pale King came and sealed her away. He did this by making everyone forget about her, so she was banished to the dream realm. So, not wanting to, well, die, she’s now trying to get people to remember her, thus putting them inside her hive-mind. Thomas mentally explained, not even skipping a step on his way.

“So, why real/unreal?” The queen asked. “What mean “unreal”?”

“Um… I found this video game a while ago that had all this lore in it. I’m pretty sure it’s accurate, since everything, except you, has been from that game. Except the drying rags.” Thomas replied. “So, until I was taken here, the Radiance was fictional, or ‘unreal’. However, I suppose the Radiance is real, so now she’s ‘non-fictional’. Which leads to all sorts of ethical quandaries.”

“What quandaries?”

“Definition of quandaries or what quandaries?” Thomas hoped he wouldn’t have another awkward conversation-

“Both.” The Queen replied, dashing all of Thomas’s hopes. 

You see, a xenomorph also had psychic powers, a hive-mind, and would kill at least one individual (their host), probably more if they wanted more ‘children’. Now, explaining it to a fully grown, adult Queen wouldn’t be such an issue, however the Queen he had before him right now was practically a child. So, Thomas was… hesitant to say the least. 

“Well, a quandary is a kind of question.” Thomas started off easy. “So, a moral quandary is a moral question.”

“And morals good things?” The Queen inquired.

“Not… exactly. Morals are basically… how you determine what’s right or wrong.” Thomas exposited, trying to surface up the base concept. “It doesn’t determine what’s easy, or even what’s best, but it is what’s a good thing to do.” 

“Ok,” The Queen confirmed. “moral quandaries/Radiance pose?” 

Now the tricky part. “It poses a moral quandary because…” Thomas thought for a moment, picking his words carefully. “she’s superseding the will of others.” 

“The will? Choices?” She clarified.

“No, not the choices, the will.” Thomas clarified back. “It takes a will to choose. If you supersede that will, not only can’t you make a choice, you can’t even conceive of making one to begin with.” He explained.

“Bad why? No idea choice, no harm.” The Queen innocently asked.

“It’s… complicated.” Thomas decided on. “You see, my morality comes from a human perspective. Your morality comes from xenomorphs before you. Not only can’t I not think about being unable to choose, I cannot conceive of any scenario where I cannot even think about making a choice.” 

Quickly retorting, she said, “Animals? Animals no choice. Animals cannot think choice.” 

“And that’s a good, but complicated question. However, that’s besides the point of something having a will of its own, and then something else takes that away.” He countered. 

“So, mind-control bad?” She asked.

“Yeah. Mind control bad.” Thomas finished. “And how convenient.” Thomas said, as he stood before the stagway. 

[iambilliejeanok]

Lord forgive my horny ass, but I have a mighty need 🙏

So Shino loves his bugs. Like, deadass, they are everywhere. And we saw just how out of control he became when drunk, army of bugs type stuff. And his sweet, oh so sweet S/o, decided they wanted for their first time..... to have Shino's bugs all over them while they do it- NOW HEAR ME OUT! His bugs are clean! Like who tf keeps dirty bugs on them, and they comunicate through VIBRATIONS! VIBRATIONS DAMNIT! So imagine miny vibrating bullets all over your body.

Andd for fucks sake, Shino did not know his S/o was THAT nasty?! Like??? Having some of his bugs in their mouth while they french kiss, making them even more overstimulated than before ( sorry for the image if it grossed you out, I remembered I have seen some fanart of Shino with bugs on his mouth and went " huh... how's that kissing tho? " lol ), or just his bugs in general while they do the deed? Mans dead and went to heaven, he cannot believe his luck that someone likes his insects... and more 👀

So yeah... I like simping for Shino honestly...

I know exactly what fanart you’re talking about😩😩 and it was so good ong😭

This request mad fucking long it highly feels like a collab more then a thirst 😭😩 and I’m not complaining.

✨Thirst✨

Warnings: 18+, sfw, nsfw, bugs everywhere.

Look. You’re dating an Aburame. Please get serious. Bugs can’t freak you out that much if you’re willing to date their homes.

Just two gorgeous people thirsting over Shino and his bugs

Shino is absolutely protective of you. Like almost paranoid. It’s only okay because you’ve both worked together to find a solution for his problem…yes bugs🙂

For one, he uses them to keep track of you. How this would work is that when he truly feels like he’s actually in love with you, he will gift you a female kikaichū to show you how much he cares about you. The females are the most difficult to find so this is a very serious move. The great thing about the females though is that they release a scent that only male kikaichū can smell. It’s the perfect tracker. He can only hope and pray that you accept this.

It’s in a glass box with holes, a pretty bow wrapped around it with a card attached. In his other hand is a huge bouquet of your favorite flowers and and two obnoxiously sized gift bags. The bug is almost like the centerpiece of this gift. “Please be mine…for always”, he asks you, the stars beautifully scattered across the night sky, the breeze just right. He really planned this out so carefully…how can you possibly reject that big juicy bug.

So the bug will naturally crawl inside of you…unless you want him to put it in you👀 he can do that too if you know what I mean hehehe.

But he knows that letting it naturally crawl inside of you when you’re least aware would be less squeamish for you. Overtime, a few male bugs will join the female one inside of you…while you’re hanging out they’ll casually crawl about and slip inside of you…you won’t even notice. The longer the two of y’all stay together, the bigger the hive inside of you grows…until you’re a full fledged Aburame yourself ☺️

The bugs also mask your scent so enemies don’t sniff you out or any other wild animal/insects. It’s great because it greatly improves your ninja skills, helping you sneak in places without being sniffed by guard animals or ninjas with a high sense of smell.

If you’re a busy bee and tend to wander off, his kikaichū will help him locate you. There’s usually a buzzing pattern you’ve noticed. It starts faintly and grows a little more intense depending on the distance or Shino’s emotions. That’s the one thing you love about those bugs…they help the two of you communicate. Maybe you’re too far from each other or maybe you’re trying to express your love for each other in a more sensual way. In a way words cannot handle.

The bugs vibrate in patterns, communicating messages from Shino to you and vice versa. If he feels an overwhelming urge of emotions you’ll feel it too in the way that the bugs inside of you buzz. When you see that he needs a hug you can send him a light buzz that envelopes him like a hug🥺 perfect for when he’s stressed or sad.

Nsfw

Now when you’re making out, considering the fact that the bugs are now apart of you too, they definitely play around a bit. You’ve noticed that when Shino is too comfortable or relaxed, he can’t contain all the kikachū like he normally would, and some of them will escape and adventure outside of his body for a bit. This usually happens when he’s in cuddle mode and wants all the hugs and kisses.

He can tell them to vibrate a certain way and at a certain intensity to stimulate you. You’ll start to feel all these different sensations when he’s slowly kissing you, taking his time with you, pressing kisses all over your body. You can’t fathom the thought of living without Shino and his bugs because of how whole they make you feel. Shino makes you feel whole. He’s the part to you that was missing all these years.

He can and will make them vibrate hard enough to make you cum. When you’re having sex the bugs are everywhere. He can’t focus on keeping them contained and being in the moment with you all at once, so he has to choose. And surprise surprise, he always chooses you.

They end up everywhere though, constantly vibrating in sync with Shino’s excitement. When he eats you out, yes there’s bugs joining in the fun too, and they do crawl into your vagina, only heightening the pleasure with their vibrations, Shino adding his fingers and mouth in the mix to really push you over the edge.

Loves to cum on you. Somewhere. Anywhere. You choose. As long as it’s on you he’ll be ecstatic. The amount of bugs in his cum really depends on how intense the orgasm is because he won’t be able to hold them back if you’re riding him like there’s no tomorrow.

Ava when you’re making out? Good yes it’s so good😭 his lips are so soft and you’ve developed a liking to feeling the bugs crawl into your mouth while you’re tonguing him.

Everything about him is too sexy fuck!

❤️‍🔥 @sodium-noodlez 💐🙈🥰❤️‍🔥 @rahatake 🥰💐❤️‍🔥 @hkzv 💐🤗❤️‍🔥 @feelingsandemotionsnotexplored 🥺🙊💐❤️‍🔥 @smutteedreams 🥰🙊💐

[oogaboogaspookyman]

Teen Aliza: background: I came out to my parents as lesbian last month.

this easter morning, i come downstairs to find my basket (a tradition in my family) and i can’t find it anywhere.

my mom gives me a hint: “it’s where you were last year”

the basket was in the fucking closet.

Get ready for some @pmseymourva shit-

✨Random Quotes From The Fam✨

Adam: Somebody told me that Genderfluid and Transgender people don't exist...*opens the closet* but I found these things in my closet (눈‸눈)

Celeste (trans) and Ditto (genderfluid): We like bread~ (꒪꒳꒪)

.

Adam: okay guys, we gotta be careful, someone here is possessed by an owl.

Mewtwo: who?

Adam: that's the thing, we don't-

.

Mewtwo: eat ASS, Adam! *Whips Adam with his tail*

Adam: *he dodges it* sorry, i'm on an ass-free diet!

.

Adam: vegans make peace with honey

Adam: no shut up do it

Mewtwo:

vegans will pretend not to hear when natives tell them their agave products are unsustainable because they have whimsical feelings about, and i cannot stress this enough, the freedom of hive insects

Some vegan: Honey is literally murder but go off

Adam: Prove it.

Some vegan: They literally puke their guts up to make your honey

Mewtwo: I have not seen any evidence tonsugges they are harmed or die in the process of production. They do regurgitate the nectar as part of the process to concentrate it into honey (an interesting process) but they do not suffer any injury during this process. If they did, the cost to produce honey, which is done naturally as a measure to survive over winter and through times of lower availability, would outweigh the benefits. If you kill several bees to produce enough honey to make one more bee, It makes no sense. Any animal that did that would die, even with human intervention.

Mewtwo: Do you have any sources which suggest otherwise? I’d be interested to hear of this (relatively publicly available) information was false or misunderstood.

Some vegan: Bee farmers use whats called a honey maker. It’s a crude devices. It similar to a meat grinder. They force the bees in and grind them up. What comes out is a paste. That paste is later filtered into what we know as honey

Mary: This is the funniest thing i've read.

Celeste: Mary, please show us pics of your bee grinder.

Mary:

they might be falsely thinking about a honey extractor machine. but all these do is you place the beehive frames inside and a motor rotates it at a speed that removes the honey, which is then tapped through a tap at the bottom. 

Mewtwo: …do they think they put bees in that and spin them around until they vomit…?

Mew: bee carnival.

Adam: bad and naughty bees get put into the b e e c e n t r i f u g e to extract their honey.

Mewtwo: Vegans coming after beekeepers is one of my major teeth grinding annoyances. For many reasons, because there’s so many lies. And to go one step further because it’s such a waste. You see, the strongest vegan argument is that they don’t want to exploit animals or take from them without their consent.

Mewtwo: … but… Bees consent. NO. I’M NOT KIDDING.

Mewtwo: How? Bee hives aren’t kept on leashes. They’re outside, the bees can travel miles every day. They follow their queen. Who is also outside, not on a leash, and can travel miles every day. If she doesn’t like the hive for any reason - for example: it got too hot, too cold, too messy, too filled with sugary stuff and they need more space… then the queen leaves. And with her the hive.

Mewtwo: The queen stays in the hive because the hive is the best place to live. Period. Done. End of. If the hive is staying with the beekeeper it’s because the keeper is doing their job correctly and keeping them happy because the bees can, and do, leave bad beekeepers.

Mewtwo: Of all the animals we have domesticated as livestock, bees are the ones you can most easily argue are consenting participants in their keeping.

Adam:

Mew, a while later: Here it is. The bee post is back.

.

Adam:

Clarification.

Mary:

Mewtwo, feeling out of character today:

rehehehehe

.

Adam:

Mewtwo: This is one of my favorite pictures on the Internet, because all of the combined elements make it delightful.

Mewtwo: 1. The woman in the background, clearly horrified

Mewtwo: 2. The neatly arranged plants, so you know that this is not a house often visited by the chaos gods.

Mewtwo: 3. And of course, the mighty D E S C E N D I N G  P U F F, who is coming in for a landing on your face whether you like it or not.

Mew: World Heritage Post

.

Adam: WHO ARE WE?!

The crowd: WRITERS!

Adam: WHAT DO WE DO?!

The crowd: WRITE!

Adam: WHEN ARE WE GONNA DO IT?!

Someone: distant sobbing.

.

Mewtwo: man it's great to have comfort sons.

Mewtwo:

SONGS I MEANT SONGS.

Adam:

Comfort sons.

.

SketchTwo: turns you into a .zip file and doesn't extract you lol.

Berdly: *THIS IS FUCKING SICK, YOU MONSTER, HOW DO YOU SLEEP AT NIGHT.

SketchTwo: renames you to "loser.zip" lol.

.

Mewtwo: people keep asking me if i'm a "morning person or an evening person" and i'm like "buddy, i'm barely even a person"

.

MEMORY: good thing there's no requests with Adam in them yet.

Adam: bacteria.

MEMORY: AAAAAAAAA-

.

Mewtwo, flirting with Celeste: hey, are you Google? Cuz you got everything i was looking for~

Mewtwo: almost to the point where i'm scared of how much you know.

.

Adam: Sometimes I get so caught up on being gay that I forget I’m actually bi.

.

Mewtwo: *writing a letter*

Mewtwo: Dear Santa,

I'm writing to let you know I've been naughty...

And it was worth it you fat, judgemental bastard.

.

Adam: *watching their house burn down*

Adam:

Adam: *starts filming* Waddup, guys, welcome to my vlog, today's topic: how to get away with accidentally committing arson because you forgot Spaghetti O's cans are metal and thus non-microwavable! Step one: deny everything.

.

Mewtwo: Oh, so when crows remember people who wronged them and hold grudges, its “intelligent” and “really cool”.

Mewtwo: But when I do it, I’m “petty” and “need to let it go”.

.

Mewtwo: *Plays Slender: The Eight Pages*

*Jumpscare*

Mewtwo: *Jumps back* OH SHIT, IT'S A WHITE GUY!!!

.

Mewtwo: I wish I was a cat, but not in a furry kinda way, more like a “I can sleep all day and hit people with no consequences” kinda way.

.

Mew: My gender is in a constant state of flux.

.

Adam: Capitalization is the difference between "I had to help my uncle Jack off a horse.." and "I had to help my uncle jack off a horse.."

.

Adam: Well, needless to say. Uh-oh Spaghetti-os.

.

Mew: I like wearing oversized sweaters. Not just because they're extremely comfy and cuddly, but because whenever the sleeves are really big, I get to flop them around and smack people.

.

Mewtwo, slamming pots and pans together to the rhythm of "Give it to me, I'm worth it": I didn't get no sleep cause a' y'all! Y'all never gonna sleep cause a' me!

.

Adam I love saying 'fuck me' because it can either be sexual or self-loathing and those are two things that describe me perfectly.

.

Mewtwo: New challenge! Don't say stupid shit for 24 hours!

[magioffire]

Does Vali have a specific routine or go to activity to pass the time when Heisenberg is away from the factory collecting materials and other such things or does he go with him more often than not?

at first, i feel like vali would only be looking at it from the perspective of how to make an escape attempt. go with hesienberg and figure out the lay out of the village more and find possible hiding places, but no way heisenberg is going to let him go far out of his sight. or stay back and throw caution to the wind and try to escape while hes gone....only for heisenberg to drag him riiight back. (im puttin this under a readmore cuz its fuckin long)

so AT FIRST any sort of routine he could form would mostly be destroyed by the panic of 'ohhh fuck ohhh god i gotta get out of here" that likely happened a few times before vali throws his hands up and is like "FINE' and decides its ultimately within his best interest to stay put. vali realizing that even even if the infection has not implanted itself within him yet, he is still infected with the cadou, and he has a very strong instinct to you know, *avoid* infecting his entire colony with dangerous fungal spores. that would be the real true realization that would ultimately make vali have to consider working with heisenberg, laying put, making the best of the situation. in the hopes of understanding everything he can about the cadou/megamycete.

after that point, vali would stop keeping so much to himself. he would go with heis not only out of a desire to get outside, but also to find out as much as he can about the person hes ultimately stuck with. when he stays behind, which is usually when its cold as sin outside, he gets up to all sorts of...weird stuff.

in the short time vali has spent within the factory, he *has* created closed off spaces for himself, he built them from his own silk and any sort of soft materials and colorful materials he might be able to find from his excersions out into the village and surrounding area. theres not much left thats soft or colorful, but he manages to find it. and he would spend a lot of time creating and tending to those silk spaces when heis is away.

he would likely make his 'main' nest in a place thats easily accessible for heisenberg, but well hidden enough to provide some security. he would also spend a lot of time just exploring the factory, maybe a little bit to heisenberg's annoyance, but he *will* listen if heisenberg tells him that an area is off limits for vali to go into by himself.

he will be *very* curious, though. and he might do things similar to how a child shakes a christmas present and tries to guess whats inside, but he knows if theres any way for their relationship to succeed, they need to respect eachothers space. but places he is allowed to explore around, you know hes looking in every nook and cranny. heisenberg has maybe come back a few times to find vali stuck because of his adventurous attitude.

i think vali would want a space to start his own research -- which would likely start small. vali would start by infecting small animals, like insects, reptiles, birds, with the cadou parasite to see for himself how the parasite functions. i could see him infecting entire colonies of ants, flightless wasps, and other eusocial insect species to see what happens. to observe the 'hive-mind' of the megamycete with more clarity.

centipedes, mantises, and of course, moths and butterflies would be among his favorites for study due to his familiarity with such species already. but pretty much any small species he can effectively breed in a small space that lives within the area is fair game. so for a while vali is going to be bringing in tons of animals he collected into the factory for his research. im sure heis would love that lool. theres just a frog jumping across the factory floor oh fuck the amphibians have escaped containment--

in the summer and autumn months vali is going to want to spend more time outside than inside as often as he can. by that time hopefully their relationship will have progressed enough in trust (and vali stops trying to make escape attempts...) that it would be no problem. vali would always come back, mostly during the early morning, come back to eat and sleep. he would bring food to share too, anything he could collect further out away from the village, where the cadou has not thoroughly infected everything so much. you ever come home and your moth boyfriend has left his sash wrapped up full of fresh food on your workbench. thats how you know he likes you.