#like why are you putting them in college when you have the already epic story of longtime friends who flirt and one has never seen the other

[13ghostlytitties]

The Heart of a Hero is returning once more!

Today marks the 5-year anniversary of the premiere of HoaH, and is fairly close to the 3.5 year anniversary of its last official upload. Well, the wait is over. It’s time for me to resurrect this series and eventually bring it to its end (not that it left off anywhere close to ending 😉).

Since it’s been a while, I’ve put together a recap of the story so far that I’ll post at some point here. It’s not complete, I had to cut out some of the newer chapters since it just became a play-by-play synopsis that doubled the total word count, but hey, having to reread 5-10 chapters is better than rereading 150.

The tentative return date will be this time next month as I work on creating a backlog of chapters. If I need to push it back, I’ll let you know. As for other questions I’m sure some of you have, check below the cut. For those who don’t care, see you in a month, hopefully.

So, some questions I’m sure some of you are asking:

1: where have you been? And why did you stop?

I’m not gonna go into details since I’m not that kinda person, but overall, just been living life, dude. I originally began my unexpected hiatus when college was kicking my ass and expected to get right back to things, but some stuff happened, and by the time I had dealt with it, it was Spring of 2020. You can guess what stopped me up then lol. But yeah, things just got away from me and eventually, I didn’t have the time or energy to dedicate to diving headfirst back into this outside of unconnected one-off stuff like those Bang fics. There’s other facets too, of course, the biggest one being a general disinterest in the source material. I stopped reading MHA around the villains arc (though I’ve kept up a bit in terms of big stuff like the traitor reveal), so I lacked that interest to pull me back into this world. Where I left off in the story, in the middle of a complicated arc full of OCs and big fights and stuff, was also a hurdle to getting back into things. But I’m here now, I’m working on my backlog, and I’m gonna commit. If you guys are excited about my return, spread the word and lemme hear it so I can keep this motivation 🤟

2: Is A New Era coming back too?

And now for the other shoe to drop. It is not. Im very sorry, especially to those whose OCs I included, but it’s just not feasible. Every time I considered it or tried it, the whole return to the main story was stopped up with it. Anyone who’s interested in continuing it themselves in some way shape or form, you have my permission in terms of the general idea, the OC kids I came up with, the places that canon characters are in it, etc. As for other people’s OCs, I’d check with their creators. One again, very sorry, but it’s just not doable.

3: What will this return look like? How often are chapters gonna drop?

Still working out the specifics, but my idea for now is to drop 2 chapters a week. If I need to go on hiatus, I’ll announce as much and plan the placement of it much better so that I don’t stop in the middle of an arc. That way, the hiatus will only be a month instead of years lol. The schedule may change over time, but I’ll keep everyone informed as I move ahead with it

4: a lot has happened in the manga and anime and movies since you stopped. Will these things be worked into the series?

Nope. I stopped reading and probably won’t start again until it’s over and done with. More than that, I’ve been sitting on these plans for a couple years now and don’t feel like changing them much. Besides, this story has had a long, rich history of shitting in the soup of the canon story, so I’ll just continue doing my own thing

5: are you still as epic and cool and funny as in the past?

Don’t ask questions you already know the answers to. I never was 😎

[justforbooks]

“I always felt like the kid that sat at the foot of the gods,” said Treat Williams, who has died aged 71 following a road accident. And it is true that the first decade of his movie career was dominated by one high-calibre director after another.

John Sturges put the doughy-faced, darkly handsome actor toe-to-toe with Michael Caine in The Eagle Has Landed (1976), adapted from Jack Higgins’s novel about a plot to kidnap Winston Churchill. Miloš Forman gave Williams his first lead, as the hippie Berger in the screen version (1979) of the 1967 musical Hair. He was an ill-tempered army corporal in Steven Spielberg’s wartime comedy 1941 (also 1979). Sidney Lumet drew on his cocksure swagger and his air of moral ambiguity in Prince of the City (1981), a thriller about police corruption. And Sergio Leone cast him as a union boss in the gangster epic Once Upon a Time in America (1984).

It was Lumet’s film that announced Williams as a formidable talent, with a special aptitude for ensemble playing. He starred as Danny Ciello, a corrupt drugs squad detective who becomes increasingly isolated as he informs on his colleagues in the elite Special Investigations Unit. The character was based on the detective Robert Leuci. Williams lived with Leuci while preparing for the part. He also attended drug busts and hung out with police officers. “By the time we started rehearsals, I was thinking like a cop,” he said.

Janet Maslin in the New York Times commended the “playful, arrogant, effectively brazen quality” of his portrayal. Equally integral is the seam of self-disgust that runs through Ciello, first when he is exploiting his power over drug addicts and dealers, then when he turns on his own kind.

Williams went on to display a menacing eroticism in Smooth Talk (1985), directed by Joyce Chopra and based on Joyce Carol Oates’s 1966 short story Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been? When he turns up in the second half of the film as Arnold Friend, a vision of adult masculine prowess that the teenage protagonist (Laura Dern) seems to have been yearning for, he is simultaneously ridiculous, alluring and intimidating.

Williams was born in Stamford, Connecticut, and raised in nearby Rowayton, the son of Richard, a pharmaceuticals executive, and Marian (nee Andrews), an antiques dealer who also ran a sailing school. He was educated at Kent school, Connecticut, where he first began acting, and at Franklin & Marshall College, Pennsylvania. He studied in New York at the Actors Studio, where his classmates included Mickey Rourke, and was hired as understudy to four parts (including Doody, played on stage by John Travolta) in the Broadway production of Grease. Eventually he took over the lead role of Danny Zuko, which he played for three years.

Having already appeared on stage in the London production of The Ritz, Terrence McNally’s comedy about a hounded businessman hiding out in a gay bath-house, he was then cast in Richard Lester’s 1976 movie version.

Auditioning for the film of Hair was a lengthy and arduous process. During his 12th audition, he recalled: “I started removing all of my clothing. At the end of the monologue, I was standing stark naked in front of them … They applauded, and I told them: ‘This is all that I’ve got, I don’t know what else I can give you.’” It was enough.

Discouraged when Hair, 1941 and the comedy Why Would I Lie? (1980) continued a run of box-office flops, he began an alternative career flying planes in Los Angeles. A call from Lumet, who was looking for an un-starry and largely unknown cast for Prince of the City, put him back on track.

He continued to alternate between film and theatre, following Lumet’s picture by appearing in Ohio in Carlo Goldoni’s farce The Servant of Two Masters and on Broadway taking over from Kevin Kline as the Pirate King in The Pirates of Penzance. On television, he played the boxer Jack Dempsey in the TV movie Dempsey (1983), Stanley Kowalski – opposite Ann-Margret as Stella – in A Streetcar Named Desire (1984), the title role in J. Edgar Hoover (1987) and the super-agent Michael Ovitz, co-founder of CAA, in The Late Shift (1996), for which he was Emmy-nominated.

In Things to Do in Denver When You’re Dead (1995), he played a thug working as an undertaker and using corpses as punch-bags. He was also in the noir-ish Mulholland Falls, the superhero adventure The Phantom (both 1996) and the thriller The Devil’s Own (1997), starring Harrison Ford and Brad Pitt.

Better than these were two projects that displayed his versatility: the monster movie Deep Rising (1998), in which he does battle with sharp-fanged sea-serpents, and The Deep End of the Ocean (1999), starring Williams and Michelle Pfeiffer as a couple reunited with their son many years after he was kidnapped.

He starred in Woody Allen’s Hollywood Ending (2002), played James Franco’s father in Danny Boyle’s 127 Hours, and the writer Mark Schorer in Howl (both 2010), which also starred Franco as Allen Ginsberg. He had a recurring role on the series Everwood (2002-06), as a widowed neurosurgeon settling in Colorado with his children, and on the cop drama Blue Bloods (2016-23). He also appeared in many Hallmark channel productions, including the series Chesapeake Shores (2016-22), as well as the Netflix musical Dolly Parton’s Christmas on the Square (2020).

He is survived by his wife, Pam Van Sant, whom he married in 1988, and their children, Gill and Ellie.

🔔 Richard Treat Williams, actor, born 1 December 1951; died 12 June 2023

Daily inspiration. Discover more photos at http://justforbooks.tumblr.com

[bloggrgirl]

There are quite a few good dnf fics but finding them in the thousands of works under the dnf tag on ao3 is a struggle, ngl...

SADF was... definitely one of the better fics in terms of writing quality but it was way too long and stretched out. I felt like the plot could be resolved in half the word count and it would improve the pacing.

Anyway, are you taking any more recommendations and do you have any good fics you managed to find and would share?

kay i'll check it out but keep that in mind. i'd definitely be open to recommendations, tho i might not get to them anytime soon bc i tend to just read whatever sounds good to me atm rather than going in any kind of order. i really only have one dnf fic i feel like didn't make me cringe in some way but i still felt like it was kinda out of character so i don't really wanna recommend it (i need to protect my brand lol).

[marvel-fanfic-writer-8675]

The Jungle Unknown Part One

*This is a soulmate AU series*

Pairing: Steve x Bucky x reader

Warnings: Cursing, reader not putting up with anyones shit, nothing else really

Summary of the series: You are a close scientist friend of Bruce’s so when the team needs help from someone with her expertise, they call in the best, you! But what happens when you find the 2 people you’ve been looking for your whole life?

As always don’t steal, copy or translate my work without permission, and all the characters belong to marvel unless it’s an OC by me

Background:

You love science but hate working in boring labs 24/7 so instead, you travel through jungles and places untracked by anyone else, and risking your life. You specialize in BioChem but dabble in Botany and Medicine. Now onto Chapter One!!! Hope you all enjoy the story!!!

~At the Avengers Tower~

“Alright,” Steve states in his Captain America voice, “there’s been reports of a cave with this rock that HYDRA has been after, our goal is to get to it first and find out why they want it so badly.” “That doesn’t sound too hard, I’ll just fly in there with my epic suit and get it.” Tony confidently says. “Can’t get there by flying Stark, the jungle around it is too thick, we have to get there by foot, and sadly for us, no one here knows their way around the jungle, not this one anyway, this one has its own reputation. Those who go in, never come out.” Steve says, making the last part sound like a ghost story. Everyone but Bruce sighs, feeling disheartened that they can’t figure out a plan. “I know that look, what’s going through your head, green bean?” Tony asks Bruce, using the nickname he knows Bruce hates. “Well, I might know someone who can get us through the jungle,” Bruce responds shyly. “What do you mean Bruce?” The Captain asks suspiciously, I mean who could get through something even super soldiers had trouble with? “I’ll give them a call, they might not answer, they are usually out in places without cell reception.”

“Well, it’s ringing, that’s a good sign, means she has reception.” Bruce informs his team. “Put it on speaker, we want to hear,” Tony impatiently replies. “Hey, Bruce long time no….call? How’s it going?” You ask after answering the phone call from your close friend from college. “Good, good,” Bruce reassures, “But I’ve got a slight problem that I think lends more to your science expertise than mine, think you can lend a hand, or do you have another trek to go on?” Bruce asks, only partially joking with you on the last bit. “I can come see what I can do, I had an adventure planned but I think I’ll cancel it to come help a friend out, besides I haven’t seen you in a while, or had any time off.” “Great, want to come by for dinner tonight and we can discuss the problem and sorts?” “Brucey, you asking me out on a date?” You joke with him, “ Now I don’t think your soulmate would like that very much, and I think Natasha can kick my ass on her worst day and my best” You hear snickers in the background, realizing your on speaker phone.” Oh, god, I’m on speaker aren’t I?” You say embarrassed “ Right, I’ll be by the tower at 6:30 for dinner, tell Nat I’m sorry.” You say and quickly hang up the phone, going to prepare for the dinner in a few hours. “I like her already” Tony declares, the rest of the team agrees that they can’t wait to meet you tonight.

~A few hours later~

You arrive at the tower, dressed in clothing a little fancier than you’d normally wear but that’s not much of a high bar considering you mostly wear cargo pants and button up shirts, what can you say, they have a lot of pockets. You walk into the Avengers Tower greeting Happy, happily. You show him your ID and he leads you towards the elevator to take you up to the dining room. You are a little nervous meeting the Avengers, but who wouldn’t be. A ding takes you out of your thoughts as you arrive at the floor. “ Hey Y/N! There you are! Glad you could make it!” Bruce greets you, the rest of the team sitting around the living room, or in the kitchen finishing up cooking. “Glad to be here, and hope I can help you with your problem!” You all head to the dinner table and start to dig into the delicious Sokovian dish Wanda made. “So, Y/N, tell us about yourself.” Steve speaks up, trying to get to know the woman. “Well, I met Bruce in college, we had a few classes together and were study buddies, he was one of the only people willing to talk to me, I have two soulmate marks, so yeah.” You say, a little nervous at that last bit, since most people looked down upon people with more than one soulmate mark. It was incredibly uncommon, but you were one of the lucky few. “Really? Cool! Don’t worry about that here by the way, we are all very accepting, after all, we accepted Mr. Grumpy Pants over here didn’t we?” Sam chuckles noticing your hesitation at the last bit, wanting you to know there was no judgement here. Full of relief you continued, “Haha, yeah, so I also have a PHD in Bio Chemistry, a major in Botany and I dabble a little in medicine.” You continued telling them about yourself and you all ended up sharing embarrassing stories about each other, Banner throwing in one about you in college getting drunk and beating a bunch of overly confident dudes in archery.

After dinner the topic turned serious as Cap stared off the conversation with “Well, I guess we’ve got to get to business,” and he explained the situation with HYDRA and the rock. You were confident you could help till you heard which jungle it was, nicknamed Satan’s hell, as it took the lives of almost everyone who went into it. You look over wearily at Banner, “You guys do know why the jungle is literally named Satan’s hell, right?” “You’ve done it before Y/N, I’m sure you can do it again!” Banner said encouragingly. “Yeah, with a fully trained team, only going halfway in, and everyone on that team was either badly injured or dead when we got out, I was in the hospital for a week, and I was the luckiest one.” You growled at Banner, slightly annoyed that they would even bring up the possibility of going back in. “Yet you were their Captain, and without you they all would’ve died, if anyone can get us through this it’s you, and this is really important, so please Y/N at least think about it.” Banner begged, knowing you were their only hope. “I’ll think about it and give you an answer in the morning” you say calmly, albeit slightly annoyed “dinner was great, thank you.” You head to the elevator and out to your car, you knew you wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight.

~In the morning~

You were right you couldn’t sleep, but at least you had a decision. You were going to do it. Was it stupid? Yeah probably. Would you get hurt? Oh, yeah, definitely, but they needed your help and they risked their lives to help save the people of Earth, including you, so you might as well return the favor.

Instead of giving them a call you decided to head to the tower and deliver the news in person. Happy let you up, remembering you from last night, and you had FRIDAY inform the team of your arrival. They were all anxiously waiting outside the elevator, they all knew that if you said no, this mission would be a bust…..

The doors opened and you straight out said “I’m in, but are you up for the challenge?” The team sighed in relief. “ Doll, I went through basic training in the 1940s, I’ll be fine” Bucky said being cocky, and Steve nodded along. “I can make WWII and HYDRA look like a walk through the park. Don’t doubt how hard it will be. That’s the number one mistake, and the reason people get killed.” You responded seriously with a slight smirk. “So, who’s on my team?” You asked, Bucky, and Steve raised their hands. “Ah, the super soldiers huh? That provides its own sets of pros and cons, we start tomorrow, in the gym, bright and early, 0600 hours, you can use your ‘basic training’ to figure that one out.” And with that you went to talk to Tony and Bruce about a room, which just so happened to be next to your two new friends, Steve and Bucky.

AN: Ahhhhhh!!!! Here is it Chapter One! Not exactly sure how long the book is going to be, I know how I want the story to go but…..yeah. Hope everyone enjoys it so far!

[ofherlionheart]

zukka + 6? 😌

send me a prompt! || 6. "I want you to be a part of my future."

[edit: yeah this is boo chronicles ‘verse but y’all already knew that lol]

It’s a stunning spring day of clear skies and rustling green leaves, and Zuko’s stuck in a library for it. From the page in front of him, Butler’s words rise up and swirl meaninglessly into the air, as they have been every few minutes for the last hour. Zuko sighs and slouches to the left to find the straw of his lukewarm, no-ice cold brew with his tongue, taking a sip even though his body stopped responding to caffeine a few days ago.

Finals week is as annoying to suffer through the seventh time as it was the first time.

There’s a thunk on the end of Zuko’s desk, and he startles, nearly smacking his coffee across his work.

“Do you rotate every couple hours to make sure you’re getting enough sunlight?” Sokka asks.

Zuko safely relocates his coffee and eyes the box that Sokka’s dropped onto his desk. “I’m not a houseplant.”

“Really? You should take advantage of having legs, then.”

Zuko snorts. He can tell Sokka’s also a bit fried by finals week—especially since this is his eighth and final one, coinciding with a research thesis—because his quips are’t nearly as witty as they can be. “What’s in the box?” he asks.

“See for yourself,” Sokka replies, popping open the top flaps.

Zuko rolls his chair closer to peek inside. Immediately, he recognizes the soft leather casing, but he still reaches in to lift an edge and confirm that what he already knows is there is actually there. And, yes, there’s the soft glint of metal that Zuko expected.

“Why did you bring these to the library?” Zuko asks.

They’re knives. Not just any knives, but Sokka’s kitchen knives, a finely crafted and extremely expensive full set meant for the head chef of a high-end restaurant, not a college student who mostly makes stir fry and curry. Zuko’s a little obsessed with Sokka’s knives, not only because they’re objectively far superior to Zuko’s cheap, off-brand shit from the corner store, but also because they have a great story: when Sokka’s grandmother left her shitty ex-husband, she also walked out the door with Pakku’s gorgeous knife set, which she passed down to Sokka the year he left for college. Sokka, of course, promptly named them The Stabby Girls.

Sokka grabs a chair from an unoccupied table and drags it over to the side of Zuko’s desk, long legs sprawling enough when he sits for his foot to knock against Zuko’s ankle. “Decided to start packing early, since I’m leaving right after commencement,” he says. “Also, I’m avoiding thesis edits.”

“Uh-huh.” Zuko’s glad the final draft of his thesis was due a month ago.

“And as much as I love The Stabby Girls, it doesn’t make much sense to take them roadtripping.”

He starts playing with the edge of one of Zuko’s notepads, an idle movement to match the unhurried way he’s working through his explanation. Zuko wonders why Sokka’s still been popping up in his day-to-day the last couple weeks. Sure, they’re good friends by this point, but there’s only finals week, and then Sokka’s going to graduate and leave for this “epic roadtrip of epic proportions.” After that, who knows where in the world he’ll land for grad school. If there’s such thing as an organic ending to a friendship—which Zuko absolutely believes exists, seeing as he’s never really stayed friends with someone after they’ve been absent from his immediate day-to-day for longer than a year—this ending is the perfect example.

“I thought about asking Katara to take them, but she once tried to put Mama Stabby in the dishwasher, so that’s a no,” Sokka continues. “And then I realized there’s only one person I really trust to take care of The Girls, and that’s you.”

Zuko blinks. “You don’t want The Stabby Girls?”

“I mean, I want them back. But it doesn’t make sense to leave them in my car when I’m backpacking.”

Which, yes, Zuko understands, but … “You’re leaving them with me?’

Sokka nods, looking at him easily while still messing around with the notepad, as if this is all just very normal. “Yeah,” he says. It sounds a little bit like Obviously. “I’m planning on seeing you again. I want you to be a part of my future.”

“Oh.”

At that, an amused smile curls Sokka’s lips. “Oh?” he echoes.

“No,” Zuko splutters, though he doesn’t know what he’s negating. “I just …”

He really doesn’t know how to put words to the tumble of emotions that’s suddenly roiling around his gut, but he thinks it has something to do with declaring permanence—no, not permanence. Constancy? Continuity? Some sense of promise applied to a future that seems anything but certain. Legible? Visible?

Zuko needs to give his brain a break. “Have you had lunch?”

He pulls the box with The Stabby Girls closer to him, and he must be imagining the different twitch in Sokka’s cheek. “Not yet,” he answers.

“Let’s grab some.” Zuko stands, shutting his laptop and tucking The Girls under an arm. “I don’t think we should keep a box of knives in the library for that long, either.”

Sokka nods, heaving to his feat. “We can drop off The Girls at yours and then swing by Sullivan for food?”

Sullivan Street is a bit further out than Zuko was thinking, but hell, apparently Sokka’s regularly thinking about them way further out than he is. “Sounds good,” Zuko says and falls into step with his friend, cradling the box of knives against his chest.

[neonacity]

HYACINTHE | CHAPTER 4: JAEMIN X READER

SUMMARY: 

Na Jaemin is far from being your typical 20 year old. Instead of slaving through college, he wastes away his hours cracking safes. Weekends that should be spent partying with friends consist of illegal races on good days and small scale bombings on bad ones. 

Na Jaemin is far from being average, unless you consider being a member of Seoul’s top organized crime family normal. There is no such thing as a sense of normality and peace in his trainwreck of a life, so when he met a barista who was brave enough to call out his dangerous taste in coffee, he was like a moth to the flame. Everything about her is normal, which means she is forbidden to him, in all sense of the word. So why, then, does he always find himself at the front steps of her shop, breaking all his personal rules even if he wishes he could stay away?

A/N + Disclaimer: this is a side story to Black Daisies, my main mafia fic feat. 0T23. While the plot is based on the main story, this can also be read as a standalone fic. As usual, this is purely a work of fiction and in no way am I implying any member of NCT to behave the way I write them here. 

TW: crimes, heists, potential death, mentions of drugs and other illegal activities.

PAIRING: Jaemin x Reader 

CHAPTER 1 / CHAPTER 2 / CHAPTER 3 / 

FIC TRAILER

MASTERLIST

"Hi. Can I have one iced americano, no sugar, with an espresso shot, please?" 

 My hands froze and hovered momentarily on the drink I was preparing as I heard a male voice say that from the counter. I didn't turn around to check who it was, but my boss—who is currently helping me man the cafe today—was quick enough to dash the pit-pattering of my chest. He hooked the order slip on the board in front of me and my eyes immediately raised to read the name there. 

"One to-go, americano for Youngho." 

I sighed internally. Whether it be from relief or disappointment though, I don't really know. A part of me wanted to be in denial of my emotions, but I realized you can only go so far if the person you are trying to fool is just yourself. 

It's been almost three months since that night that I last saw Jaemin. I wish I didn't know the exact number of days that passed since then, but I do and I couldn't help it. Every little detail of what happened was still marked fresh in my mind, especially the feeling of hollowness that exploded in my chest when I woke up that morning to see them gone.

If not for the chip on the edge of the table left by Jeno as he tried to hold a half delirious Haechan down that night, I could have easily brushed off everything as a fleeting dream. But it isn't. It is a nightmare, at least in my part. 

He really meant it when he said he would leave me alone. 

There were no calls, no messages, no visits, nothing. It was like he didn't exist at all, the past year spent with him nothing but an imagined illusion. 

We were back to being strangers again, exactly like how he wants to. If you think about it, it's selfless of him to do this, but I hate it. I hate it with everything I have. 

Why? Because now I have to live through the feeling that I'm the only one suffering from all of that has happened. I couldn't watch the news anymore without thinking about him. For heaven's sake, I couldn't even get an iced coffee order without freezing like a statue because I remember him. I hate it. I hate every single moment without him, as much as I didn't want to admit it.

I placed the plastic cover over the finished drink with a soft sigh before turning to hand it over to the customer. At least I can still manage to put out my well-practiced, service smile. 

"Iced Americano for Youngho," I called out into the receiving area as I slipped a straw on the cup sleeve. A tall man looked up and walked over to me to receive it. 

"Thank you for coming to Brick and Beans. I hope you visit us again soon," I said in autopilot, my words so well-rehearsed that I didn't even have to think through while delivering them. The customer smiled at me before giving me a wink.

"I sure will. Thanks for this, sweet cheeks." He turned and left the shop, leaving me slightly confused. 

My attention was then called by my boss who had just finished wiping down the counter. The man—who really has been more of a father figure than an employer for me—gave me a warm smile and motioned me over. 

"Can we talk? I have something to tell you." 

I briefly glanced at the clock. It isn't my break time yet, but the store is empty so I guess it will be fine. I shrugged. 

"Sure."

"Grab a cake for you and me while you're at it," he nodded towards the pastry fridge before walking towards the nearest empty table. I wordlessly took two slices of basque cheesecake, his favorite, before following him. The man has a mean sweet tooth and we both know it.

He was silent for a little bit as he took the fork to take a bite of his treat. I waited patiently for him to speak, hands politely folded over my lap.

"I'm going to sell the cafe." 

I blinked and stared. I wasn't expecting that at all. 

"You're… what?" 

He sighed and leaned back against his seat. He looked a little sad over what he just said but he managed to offer me a small smile.

"I'm getting older. You know how much I love this place because I started it with my late wife, but I really can't continue to manage it anymore. My children, unfortunately, do not have any plans of continuing the business. And they've been asking me to retire, too." 

I nodded slowly, taking the news bit by bit. 

"Do you already have a buyer, ahjussi?" 

"I do. It is kind of strange, actually. Someone offered to buy off the franchise at such a perfect time. And for a very good price, too." 

That made me smile. I've had this job ever since I started college so it makes me a little sad that it's going to have a new owner, but I really am happy for him. I just hope whoever buys it off takes care of it really well. The old man loves this place to bits. 

I felt him take a hold of my hands from across the table. I looked up and was met with a fatherly smile. 

"Don't worry. You won't lose your job. The new owners said that they aren't planning to change anything here and I told them that they had to take you with them." 

That made me almost want to burst into tears. I squeezed his hand back in return. 

"Ahjussi... You didn't have to do that. I can always look for another job." Who am I kidding? I know it will be hard for me to land another sideline especially with all the financial hiccups I am already dealing with so this is really sending me over to the edge of tears. 

"Nonsense. You are part of this business. You've done so much for this place so you deserve this. Don't worry, they said yes to my condition." 

I gave his hands another squeeze and he answered back with a fatherly pat. 

"Thank you…" 

"You're welcome. Just promise me, when you become a doctor, you'll give me free checkups, okay?" 

"No, I won't. Because you will always be healthy and won't need my help at all," I said with a wrinkle of my nose. 

That sent the two of us laughing. 

"When will the new owners take over?"

"By the end of the month," my eyes rounded with surprise and he nodded in understanding. "I know, I know. It really happened too fast. I can't turn down the offer though. To be honest it was way beyond what the business is worth." 

I sighed. "Well… as long as you are sure about them." 

"I am. For now, I'll be here for a bit with you. I just need to enjoy my last days here. So just don't mind your old man, okay?" 

I grinned. 

"Only if you promise to give me a free cake every day you are here." 

He reached out to ruffle my hair. 

"Deal."

----

It was a slow day at the cafe so my boss decided to turn down the jazz music that usually floats from the speakers in lieu of the television volume. It was an odd hour in the afternoon and I found myself smiling as I watched him flip the channels over to look for a good show to watch while I dried some mugs. Just then, the overhead bell on the door dinged, welcoming with it a pair of uni-looking kids. 

My boss looked over, but I was quick to jump to action instead. "I'll take care of it," I mouthed to him, to which he gave me a smile before turning his attention back to what he was doing.

"Hi. Welcome to Brick and Beans. What can I offer you today?"

"We'll have one dirty chai latte and one irish coffee over ice. Make it to go. " 

The couple offered their names and I nodded as I punched their orders on my POS. "Would you like some pastries to go with that?"

"No, that's all."

"Got it, you can wait over there to the side. I'll have your drinks with you shortly," I said with a smile. The girl pulled the boy over into the receiving area to continue their conversation. 

"So what I'm saying is, we gotta go. Tonight is going to be epic. The bets will be high for sure. We can get some mean cash if we put it in the right car." 

The other gave a soft snort and started drumming his fingers against the wood of the counter. I let their conversation act as white noise while I worked behind the bar.

"I don't know. You're not even sure who is going to be there." 

"Jeno is in the line-up. That at least is confirmed."

I dropped the metal scooper I was using on the floor with a resounding clang. 

The three others in the room looked over to me as I hurriedly picked it up with shaking hands. I gave all parties a sheepish look before turning on my back to continue what I was doing. 

This time, I was full-on listening. 

"If Jeno's going to be there, then it is a goner. There's no chance for others. It'll be full-on suicide," the boy said thoughtfully. The girl, however, shrugged in reply. 

"They said the others might come, too. You know, to make the run a little bit more balanced," she offered. 

"You mean the seven?"

"The Four, at least."

"Oh shit."

"Uh-huh. So I'm telling you, we gotta be there man. If we can't bet then fine, but we have to see it. It’s been ages since they actually went on lane." 

I didn't really know how I managed to finish what I was doing, not with how hard my heart was beating in my chest. I'm not sure how many Jeno's there are in this part of town, but I am sure as hell that there is only one who is a member of a seven-piece 'group.' 

"Here's your order," I said thinly as I pushed the finished drinks over to them by the counter. The boy offered his card and I took it quickly, all the while thinking of what I should do next. The few seconds of me typing away at the terminal was the longest quarter minute of my life.

"Here's your receipt. Thank you for coming and see us again," I said, my voice a little weaker than usual. The couple gave a quick bow before turning to leave, drinks in hand. 

There are two ways this could go. I could let them out of that door and have my only possible chance of getting in contact with any of the boys leave with them. Or I could call after them and…

I whipped around to call out to my boss, my figure already halfway out from the bar. 

"Ahjussi, I'll be back in five minutes, sorry. I promise I'll be quick!"

He had barely looked up when I started running out the door.

-----

"Excuse me!" 

The duo looked back at me, then at each other in confusion as I tried my best to hurry up to them without landing on my face. God, why do they walk so fast? They were just a few seconds ahead when they left the shop! Thankfully, they stopped at my call, giving me a chance to skid before them as I tried to catch my breath.

"Um… Is there a problem? We paid, right?" The boy asked me with an odd look. I waved my hand before finally trying to answer. 

"Yes. I uh—"

Well, I obviously didn't plan this out clearly. How do I say this now without sounding like a lunatic? 

"I heard your conversation earlier. You were talking about Jeno."

The pair exchanged glances again, this time tinged with suspicion. It was the girl who answered this time. 

"Yes, we were. What about it?" 

"I… I just want—to maybe know where he is? You were talking about tonight's—"

"The drag race?"

I stopped for half a heartbeat before nodding. 

"Yeah. The race. I wanted to come, too, but I don't really know the address." 

The boy cocked his brow at me in blatant suspicion. It took all of me to pull out all the basics I learned from drama class back in high school to remain calm before his withering glare. 

"You know Jeno but don't know the address? That doesn't make any sense," he said as he crossed his arms over his chest. "If you've been in one before you should have been included in the text blast."

Oh shit. 

I could feel my palms growing cold from nervousness. Still, I tried pushing on. 

"W-well, I was invited before by one of them. But then things fell apart and I started not getting any of the...texts anymore," I said, not having the slightest idea of what I am saying myself. What's ironic though was that what I just blurted out was sort of a half-truth, too.

Apparently—and miraculously—it also made sense by the look of understanding that dawned on their faces. 

"I see…" the girl trailed off. She cleared her throat and looked at her friend before glancing at me again. 

"Look, I can give you the address, but promise me that you never got it from me when someone asks, okay?" She asked. The boy looked at her incredulously.

"Are you crazy? She was already shadow banned!"

She shushed him and waved her hand off to shut him up. "Look, this is a girl thing. Don't mess with it. Just go ahead to the car, I'll take care of it." 

He scoffed but stalked off towards the direction of the parking lot. 

She turned towards me again and pulled her phone from the pocket of her leather jacket. I watched as she unlocked the screen before showing it to me. 

"Do you have your phone with ya? Here, take a photo of this address." 

I swear I could almost kiss her. I scrambled to get my phone from my back pocket and didn't waste another second to take a snap of her screen.

"Thank you so much." 

She nodded in understanding before locking her phone again and shoving it into her pocket. "Hey, a girl's gotta stand up for another. Who was it? Was it Haechan?" 

"Um…" 

She didn't wait for me to finish. 

"Really, whoever it is among them, I can't really blame you. They're all cute, but they do need to be taken down a notch when it comes to girls. Those boys," she tsked. "Dangerous." 

Oh…

Oh. She thought I was an ex-fling who wanted to teach one of them a lesson by crashing the race. I let that sink in before a frown settled on my features. 

Well, aren't you one? The devil on my shoulder cackled at me sardonically. 

"Glad to have helped though. But remember, you didn't get it from me, okay?"

With a wink, she strutted off, leaving me staring at her retreating form. 

----

I told myself I simply wanted to see him again. 

I reminded myself that for the hundredth time tonight as I parked my car on a free space by a gravel road, my eyes roaming the darkness beyond. The place looked deserted, and I had to do one last check if I really put in the right coordinates on my map before finally turning off my engine. The road beyond was wide but uncemented and to its left is a half unfinished building with metal banisters reaching out to the sky like skeletal arms. I swallowed. Every little thing about the space beyond screams danger.

Which probably means I am in the right place. 

I reached out to zip up my jacket and pulled the hoodie over my head before getting out of my car. My sneakers crunched on the gravel as I made my way towards a low wall circling the building beyond. 

Just try and take a look. You don't have to talk to him. You can keep your distance. 

I repeated that in my head again and again as I approached what I assume to be the entrance. A part of me still wants to berate myself for doing this but I am too far gone to try and play the denial game again. I want, no, I need to see Jaemin's world.

The moment I passed through a crack on the wall, it felt like I stepped into a different world. It opened up into an even wider area, the shadows of a multi-lane road behind the abandoned building beyond. Milling around is a throng of people, some smoking, others sipping on red cups on their hands. Some cars were parked against the wall I just passed, their headlights on with music booming out of their rolled down windows. 

I tried to swallow the lump on my throat as I looked around. Already, I felt out of place in the crowd, but I steeled myself to push on, my hands digging deeper into the pockets of my jacket.

"Hey." 

I looked up to see a boy around my age wave at me. He was also holding a red cup and what looked like a bundle of paper. My eyes widened as that came into focus when he got closer. 

Money. 

Wads and wads of cash. 

"You put your bets already?" He asked as he stuffed the bills into a small belt bag hidden beneath his oversized shirt. He pulled his phone out then, unlocked the screen, and looked at me, waiting for an answer. 

"Uh…" 

He gave me an odd look.

"Who are you betting on?" He asked again. 

I gave the first name I could only think of. 

"Ja-Jaemin," I stuttered.

That earned me a low whistle from him as he typed away at his phone, probably to record my choice of 'player.' "I don't know, man. Dude seems pretty out of it lately, but whatever floats your boat." He stuck out his hand to me then, and it took me a few seconds to realize what he was asking for. 

"Oh," I scrambled to grab my purse. I was in the middle of pulling my card from my wallet when I saw his face. Slowly, I put it back to reach out for bills instead. 

"Cash only." 

I sheepishly handed him the last few hundreds I have. He took them, expertly flipping through each bill to count them off. 

"First time, eh?" 

I nodded. 

I watched as he slipped the money into his already overflowing belt bag, thinking that he would leave after that. Instead he nudged his head towards the direction of the building and motioned me along. 

"Come on then. At least try and get a good look at your first race." 

I blinked in confusion but ran after him as he started walking away. 

We stopped at the front row of the half ring of people that had already gathered in front of the abandoned rafters. Just then, a huge spotlight shone over the road behind it, driving everyone to erupt in cheers. Parked in a single line at the foot of the road are five cars, headlights opening one by one.

"Jaemin's the yellow one," the boy nodded towards the one occupying the third lane. I stared. I know next to nothing about cars, but I know enough to be sure that none of the ones in front of me now are something you can buy from your run-of-the-mill auto dealer. Lowered, with shining reams, and a low motor hum that reverberated to where I was standing, I could only briefly compute in my head how much each of those customized rides must have cost. 

I heard the boy beside me snort amusedly. "Your first race and you get to see this. I'm telling you, this happens once in a blue moon," he said with a smirk. I didn't say anything, my gaze never leaving the yellow car. 

Slowly though, I noticed the crowd's noise die down dramatically the same time that a petite form walked out from the building. The woman stopped in the middle of the road and raised her hand into the night sky, a small pistol in her grasp.

Everyone has gone so quiet now that you could almost hear a needle dropping. Just then, the resounding bang of a gunshot pierced the air. Few other large spotlights turned on simultaneously, revealing the snaking road ahead that was disguised under the darkness earlier. I gasped. The roaring sound of engines blared beyond and with a new uproar from the crowd, the cars were speeding ahead, leaving trails of light in their wake. 

My heart was beating so hard against my chest as I tried my best to follow the speeding cars ahead. I was only able to comprehend the real expanse of the road the moment each ride took over its lanes—the place looked more like an abandoned air dock field more than anything else. I was barely aware of my nails digging on the palms of my hands as my eyes switched from Jaemin’s car and the others, particularly on the deep red one that he was currently toe in toe with. The space between the two were a hair’s breadth away and I could almost swear their sides would collide any second. 

That went on until a curve on the road appeared. It was the last turn before the finish line and the crowd turned wilder as the nose of each car tried its best to take the lead. I didn’t even realize that I was holding my breath until the last second when the yellow one took over the inner space of the road before swerving successfully ahead.

Everyone around me erupted in cheers. I gave my own gasp, hands covering my lips before joining the rest.

Jaemin’s yellow lambo parked on the finish line, the rest of the race participants trailing behind. I watched as his door opened, revealing his beautiful wide grin and tousled hair. He was glowing, cheeks flushed from the adrenaline. I was so caught up in the image that I barely noticed Jeno appearing from the red car, followed by Renjun, Mark, and Haechan from the other rides. 

I couldn’t hear what they were saying, but I watched with a smile as they huddled over Jaemin, playfully pushing and cajoling him for his win. They looked happy, carefree.

But it seems like they aren’t the only ones who were out there in the road. My gaze moved back to Jaemin's car when I saw his passenger seat open. As if in slow motion, a girl got out of it, wearing the same wide smile the others have. The group hooted at her as she joined their huddle. 

That’s when I felt as if time has stopped.  

The smile on my face slowly faded as I watched Jaemin wrap his arms around her before pulling her into a tight hug. 

---

A/N: Hey guys! This is going to be the second to the last chapter of Jaemin’s side story! I originally wanted to finish it in one go, but I thought it would be nice to release the epilogue on Nana’s birthday! So yes, that’ll be out on the 13th, lol. Thank you so much to those who have continued reading this side fic! <3

Chapter 5 (END)

Taglist: @negincho​, @springdaybreaks​, 

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL

April 2021 Part 1

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Second Chance Ep 1 - living up to its name since it looks to be a series of redemption arcs. Launched with a college confession and a broken friendship, then a flash back to them as seniors in high school. Pairings include friends to lovers, nerd/jock, and maybe cafe boss/employee. There’s a lot going on, but it’s still... quiet and sweet. The script is pretty pat but it’s still WAY more watchable than Cupid Coach or Brothers and most of the acting is solid. Ep 1 tropes included: he’s in engineering, wound tending, fast & bicurious. This could turn into what I wanted My Gear & Your Gown to be. Fingers crossed. 

Love Poison 2 Ep 1 & 2 turns out I did watch and report on season 1 (8 eps), season 2 seems equally unmemorable. Thai countryside setting, strong dialect, incomprehensible plot, camp side characters, and ghastly singing. 

Y-Destiny Ep 1 (eng subs?) - opened with the sports romance enemies to lovers (they aren’t going in the teaser order). When the couple got over fighting, the flirting was v cute, but the flipping SPONGE BATH trope had to rear its ugly head. Still, this series is shaping up to be less coy and more frank than most BL, better than expected. It feels, I don’t know, gay-er or something?  *** Sources were correct that each couple is getting (at least) 2 eps, and MDL has been updated to say this is a 15 episode series (not 7). 

Cupid Coach 12 fin - The new Nite was great and should have been a main all along. It felt like we got a tiny nugget of what could have been in about 10 minutes worth of this last ep. It was way too slow with terrible editing and a criminally bad script, but at least it ended happy. Mostly, like Friend Forever, I’m just disappointed that these two actors were done dirty by the series. Bad Cupid Coach, no screen caps for you. 

Lovely Writer Ep 6 - breaking news, there’s a het couple I like: toppy bi femme + soft boi = such a good pairing! I know, but this NEVER happens. Meanwhile, Sib’s secret is out, Gene is a bit of a drama queen, and the plot thickens. We half way through.  

Brothers Ep 9 - Kaow had a serious moment of advice giving that was truly lovely. Lots of family dama made this a superior episode to... well... any of the others in this series. Which isn’t saying much. 

1000 Stars Ep 10 fin - at the start this series didn’t grab me the way GMMTV’s last BL, Tonhon Chonlatee, did. But boy did it end 1000x better. Might have given us 2021′s best forehead kiss. I enjoyed the ultra romantic cliff-top reunion kiss, and I LOVED the stinger flirting scene. That was an absolute gift we had no right to expect. This drama is a poster child for finishing on a high note (always focus on that dessert course). Final thoughts? This was FAR more a classic romance than it was BL. There were some BL tropes used but not many and most of them originated in the romance genre not yaoi. A picture perfect ending bumped 1000 Stars much higher up my best-of list than expected. Not sure how often I’ll rewatch it as a whole, but this last episode? I’m probably rewatching it right now. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Dear Uranus (Taiwan GL) Ep 3 fin - I guess that’s it? Okaaaaay  

HIStory 4: Close To You (Taiwan) Ep 3 (AKA Ep 5-6) - we got actual legit gay culture not just BL (always appreciated) from XingSi. I’m starting to find LiCheng’s “show them we fucking” hijinks hilarious rather than annoying (not sure why, maybe I just love a rubber chicken, or maybe it was the STUFFED CORN WITH THE TASSEL that did it). 

-- H4 Moment of RANT --

Tropes included beach trip, there’s only one bed, cook for him, baby is a floppy drunk, carry baby to bed, and.... drunk non-con. Whoopdedoo. Here we go again. Did TharnType teach us NOTHING? (Apparently it taught us if the chemistry is good enough, I have no morals at all.) At least H4 seems to be taking us out of cheese into serious when it comes to assault. Or is it? 

I take back what I said last week about XingSi & YongJie being codependency + salvation trope, that only works if YongJie is the uke. He’s NOT. So we got us an obsessive predatory villain with a possible redemption arc. That’s more common in crime dramas, mafia romance, and epic fantasy than BL. It’s real hard to redeem a sexual predator in a reality-grounded universe like contemporary romance (See Kla in LBC1&2). 

Next week is gonna be a test of the whole damn franchise. Imma remind both me a you that this was ep 3 of 10 so we got a ways to go yet... but ooof, what have we wrought, BL? (I ended up doing a whole post about the stepbrother trope because of this sub plot.) Taiwan is killing me.

-- RANT ended --

Word of Honor (China) Ep 19-21 - over half way point so we got ALL the back story (in a classic 4 act story structure midway reveal). Now we know who WKX really is and his lineage. We also got some cute hugs and hand holds. Moving along at a nice clip despite being 36 eps total. Still gayest thing to come out of we-not-gay China since Advance Bravely. 

Most Peaceful Place (Vietnam) Ep 2 - takes them a while to get eng subs together and ep 2 didn’t drop until late. So I’m putting this in a Thurs time slot going forward. Miscommunication already cleared up and a 2nd couple has been introduced. The pacing on these Vietnamese BLs is always a bit... off. But it’s still better than most of its ilk, enjoyable. I’m thinking it’s a 6 ep arc. 

We Best Love 2 (Taiwan) Ep 5 - after the initial drama DRAMA of ep 2, the current external crisis at work is much quieter, giving this whole season a top heavy feel. Taken along side the first season, I think it’s fitting nicely into a 4 act structure, but that might be my bias. I hope I’m not wrong, we’ll find out next week. Shi De puttering about being domestic with Shu Yi on his back was the best execution of the piggyback trope EVER. Meanwhile, our little D/s side couple of codependency, salvation trope + mental illness is becoming weirdly appealing. I don’t know. H4 done mess with my head. 

Stand Alones 

Absolute BL AKA Zettai BL ni Naru Sekai vs Zettai BL ni Naritakunai Otoko  (Japan) Ep 1-4 mini series. Found subs under A Man Who Defies The World of BL. IT’S HILARIOUS. It’s Japan making fun of us, but also itself for having started this whole BL nonsense - from yaoi roots to present day. It’s parody goddamn gold. Utterly cheeky unto the very last line. We are not worthy. 

Apparently the most powerful tropes of all time are: baby is a floppy drunk and the piggyback fo nobility. Oh and chocolate. {Full review here.} 

Honestly, this show may have been made with only @heretherebedork and I in mind. I don’t know if you’d even understand half of it if you don’t have a history with the manga source genre and an obsessive interest in underlying narrative devices. I haven’t seen much chatter in the blog’o’sphere on this one because, in the end, it’s not a romance at all, it’s social commentary. 

The ending line was a masterclass in lampooning a genre. I’m going to rewatch the whole thing just to catch all the digs I missed first time around. It is a thing of beauty and a joy forever. 

Thank you Japan. I forgive you all your hair-styling sins of the last decade. 

Breaking News 

Spring Line Up:

Scholar Ryu’s Wedding Ceremony AKA Nobleman Ryu’s Wedding (Korean historical BL) April 15th 

Close Friend the series (Thai trailer) April 22. 

2gether the movie (Thai trailer) April 22 to Thai theaters.

Nitiman (Thai) May 7 on One31.

I Told Sunset About You 2 (Thai) May 27 on LineTV

Ossan’s Love (Hong Kong) June to Viu 

Gossip 

Bad Buddies released its first promo op via Arm Share, which means GMMTV is at least *thinking* about filming it. 

Fun behind the scenes gossip sesh with eng subs for Tell the World I Love You (that Perth Bas movie we are maybe getting someday but will likely be sad). 

New Thai BL Bite Me (adapted from novel Grab a Bite) dropped a teaser. It stars Mark Siwat (Kla in LBC) as uke character Ake, a delivery boy with special foodie powers, and chef Eua (seme played by Zung Kidakorn) who discovers him. It’s from the same author as Manner of Death so we might even get some actual plot. Since it’s an established BL actor who I happen LOVE, a known author, and a plot about FOOD, I could not me more excited for this one. 

Next Week Looks Like This:

Some shows may be listed a day later than actual air date for accessibility reasons. Some are dropping multiples at a time but just started so I’m not sure on numbering. 

Upcoming 2021 BL master post here.

Links to watch are provided when possible, ask in a comment if I missed something.

[1ddotdhq]

🍌Wed 2 Dec ‘20💚

Harry Styles Reacts to Banana Innuendo Rumors by Making EVEN MORE Banana Innuendos part TWO

Good morning/evening/night to Harry’s post and Harry’s post ONLY! (Okay that’s not true but it was definitely a highlight of my day). In case people haven’t seen it yet, it’s Harry in a light blue custom made suit putting a penis banana in his mouth. The picture is captioned “Bring Back Manly Men” so take a suck on THAT Candace Owens! It was only one of many great pictures in his variety shoot (including another, um, fruity picture of him biting into a pomegranate okay Persephone we get it), but Harry did indeed choose That One to post on This, the day after banana necklace dickscourse, BLESS. Harry’s interview was a little more in depth than they have been in the past, touching upon his feelings on race (“Historically, I can’t think of any industry that’s benefited more off of Black culture than music. There are discussions that need to happen about this long history of not being paid fairly. It’s a time for listening, and hopefully, people will come out humbled, educated and willing to learn and change”), as well as his tattoos (the only time he regrets them is in the DWD makeup chair), his love of reading, fashion and art, his exercise routine (Kid Harpoon couldn’t keep up!),  and his feelings on success and acclaim (“It’s never why I do anything...it's always nice to know that people like what you’re doing, but ultimately — and especially working in a subjective field — I don’t put too much weight on that stuff...Fans are the best A&R”). 

The problems arose - as they so often do - when One Direction was mentioned. The article said that “The proof [of the band’s benefits] is in the relatively seamless solo transitions of at least three of its members- Payne, Malik and Horan in addition to Styles- each of whom has landed hit singles on charts in the U.K., the U.S. and beyond”. Leaving aside the bad math (that's 4 people!) one name, of course, is notably missing: Louis has in fact enjoyed quite a lot of success both with Walls (remember when his album went #1 on iTunes in the UK AND the US literally 2 months ago?) and his pre-Walls singles like “Back To You” and “Just Hold On”. It got worse because the author tried to back up her claim with Harry’s quote, “When you look at the history of people coming out of bands and starting solo careers, they feel this need to apologize for being in the band...but we loved being in the band...I think there’s a wont to pit people against each other. And I think it’s never been about that for us. It’s about a next step in evolution. The fact that we’ve all achieved different things outside of the band says a lot about how hard we worked in it”. By linking her own words with Harry's quote she made it seem as though Harry said it to agree with her biased take, which we'd know he didn't even if we hadn't heard him say this exact quote without that slant multiple times before. Fans were quick to point out both to the author and to Variety that they were wrong (to describe the reaction mildly), and the author rather than fixing the mistake, doubled down and began blocking fans. Plenty of people were quick to say that of course HSHQ and Harry had approved this content, despite more knowledgeable fans trying to be heard protesting that that is not how it works. (Remember how just recently Vogue got Harry’s whole ass FAMILY situation wrong and it was not corrected until after print, for example?) In fact, even the magazine didn't really proofread this- the print version of the article is different and says, “The proof is in the relatively seamless solo transitions of at least three of its members - Styles, Malik and Horan”, effectively erasing both Louis AND Liam. It's an annoying take either way, but it's one the author more than likely picked up by doing her research on harrie twitter, not on orders from Jeff.

And because we DO NOT STAND FOR LILO ERASURE ON THIS BLOG, let’s talk about Liam’s Web Summit panel! It was 25 minutes of Liam and Marian Dicus (VP of Spotify) being interviewed about the current and future state of the music industry. Both of them, of course, noted that things had changed very quickly in their careers back at the beginning of lockdown, and how it had seemed surreal, at first, but that Liam had found that the way he was operating now (with Veeps and Tik Tok and Instagram lives) had made his platform a two way interaction with his fans. “For a long time I've been living in a dream world where I thought I was speaking with my fans but really I was just talking at them whereas we as artists ask a lot of rhetorical questions... I wanted to start a conversation”. Marian discussed how engaging fans differently WAS one of the most difficult things to puzzle out at the beginning, but that as months have passed, it seems artists like Liam have found a viable virtual future in the music industry (Liam tells us that he's been doing “stadium size shows” on Veeps which is an exciting clue about the mystery of how many tickets they're selling). They also went into the way music trends change as a response to social and political occurrences, how comfort songs gave way to protest songs this summer. Liam said, “People want their artists to have an opinion nowadays it's not that we can stay out of the conversation anymore-- and nor do we feel that we should in many places-- but for me it's a fine line because I realize what I do for people is an escape, people don't want things rammed down their throats every day and news messages from me about things that they don't want to hear about if they've come to listen to music, so its a real fine line that we kind of teeter on”. And about his opening acts, he acknowledges that his fanbase are mostly young women (based on the data breakdowns he gets from his team), and so he feels a responsibility to mentor young female artists in the industry so that more people like his fans have a voice. In an interview full of really fascinating music and technical discussions, this remained my favorite moment from Liam. Just like we won’t erase HIM, he refuses to erase US! And let's not forget our Liam alarm of the day-- it starts out absolutely adorable (“good moooorning!”), is hilarious in that apparently he just rambled completely unscripted and then they awkwardly cut it into 25 parts, but today's installment is frankly not relaxing! “only 23 sleeps til christmas have you done your shopping are you prepared” excuse me Liam YOU ARE STRESSING ME OUT. The promised relaxing sleep story affirmations are still 'coming soon'-- hurry up please I need them to decompress after that alarm!

Now for a lightning round of epic proportions: DWD darling pictures and vids keep comin’ and Harry and Florence are both looking GORGEOUS as Jack and Alice,  after the Variety shoot dropped ‘THE CAPTION’, ‘BRING BACK MANLY MEN’, and ‘LOUIS IS SUCCESSFUL’ trended worldwide on twitter, Tan France said “yes please” to Harry's banana post, Harry reiterated that London was home and he didn’t want to be in LA for longer than he needed to,Variety has its virtual show tomorrow at 5 pm PST so see you there! Veeps is sending out emails promoting Louis’ show to people who bought LP show tickets, fans have already started to receive their Louis Tomlinson Live From London merch, Trinity College in Dublin’s Law society presented Niall with an award for, uh, his Irishness, I guess? (Just kidding, it’s for “his incredible talent and work ethics which is famously underscored by a distinct humility despite unthinkable success”). It looks like he will be giving a talk when he’s presented with it, and I’m honestly really interested to see what it’s all about - is he...gonna be talking to law students? Idk but tune in on December 7th at 12 pm GMT to find out!

[codylabs]

Forest of Daggers Behind the Scenes

I was just going through and organizing my old art, and found the old Forest of Daggers folder. I decided to relive the memories, and discovered some art I never posted. Stuff like concept drawings, deleted scenes, and stuff doodled in the margins of my college notes. Some of it was kind of interesting, so I may as well post it here.

This was gonna be some kind of fancy section divider/chapter-ender, if I ever printed the book out. I may still use it one day; who knows?

Ahhh now these are old. These drawings were made years and years before I started the story, years before I'd seen Gravity Falls or even knew the word 'fanfiction.' These were the original ideas that became the Forest's titular metallic ecosystem. You can see here the original 'lions', though these are lion-like in function only, and more closely resemble shell-less hermit crabs or perhaps blenders; they were originally imagined to be native to an Earth-like world with oxygen and water, and thus their bodies were in a perpetual state of rusting and molting and regrowing, as you see with the brown (which is a detail I ignored in the actual story, to my shame). There were also solar-powered floating cranes (a symbiosis between a hanging herbivore and a colony of hydrogen-filled solar creatures) which never made it into the story. I think I liked the final version of things better, but these early ideas had a certain unearthly character.

A few more creatures that were actually in the story, which for whatever reason never made it into illustrations proper. Left are a few concepts for the little birds that fly with thermal rockets, above is one of the swarming piranha bugs Dipper and Wendy encountered in the tunnels, and speaking of tunnels, there's one of the drilling worms that dug them, because you know Frank Herbert ain't gonna reference himself.

Heyyy it's Betty and Barney! I love these two. All they wanted was to live peacefully on a quaint farm. They're like metal hobbits.

OH BABY I can't tell you how badly I wanted to have this scene somewhere in the story. It would be Dipper and Wendy in excavators fighting a couple alien lions, and the scene would be framed as some monumental, epic Pacific-Rim-style kaiju-vs-mecha fight, and I would play it 100% straight, or even straighter than straight, because the personal stakes and the amount of realism here means that I and the audience could take it much more seriously than any traditional japanese monster flick. The lumbering clumsy only-one-arm-ed-ness of the excavators puts our heroes at a distinct disadvantage, with them needing to coordinate closely together to block the much faster and more agile lions. Alas, the events of the book never played out in a way that allowed this scene to happen, but perhaps it will when I rewrite it someday. Perhaps perhaps. If I recall correctly, the idea of this scene was one of the reasons I started the story in the first place.

The finale of Wendy's story, where she confronts the mother shapeshifter in her lair, was in a state of authorial flux for quite awhile before I decided on a version of events that I liked. Here's one version of events where the mother shows up already disguised as a Time Warrior, while Sam is at gunpoint.

And another version of events where the shapeshifter is disguised as her as they fight, and you can tell who's who because the shapeshifter is mimicking a clean, perfect, idealized version of her. I'm not sure what the symbolism of that meant to me at the time, and I'm not sure why I put had in her underwear, I guess I just thought it made the scene more poignant. I wish Disney censored me like they censored the show, so we wouldn't end up with this sort of edgy, cringe nonsense.

Wendy after the finale, wielding the Time Tape and the death ray, triumphant but beat up and exhausted. I liked this scene, which is probably why I drew it twice. That's a lot more blood than I think is actually realistic for a person to have outside their body (censor me Disney, please.)

Speaking of, remember that time I posted a drawing of a penis on Tumblr dot com and got away scot free? Good times.

[tomhollandnet]

Vanity Fair: How have you been doing this past year? I mean, what has life been like in these COVID times for you?

Tom Holland: I got to say, Richard, I’ve been very fortunate during these difficult times. For me, my career hasn’t really halted. I’ve been lucky enough that I’ve been able to continue working. I made a film called Uncharted with Mark Wahlberg last year. I’m currently shooting Spider-Man 3 at the moment. So I’ve been very lucky.

It put a pause for a while, and I went home and we locked down in London, and I had a few months where I was sort of kicking about the house. But all in all, I’ve had a great time. And I’ve really enjoyed the jobs I’ve been working on. And I definitely recognize how lucky I am to be working, when so few people are at the moment [and are] really, really having a hard time. So I’ve been very lucky, and I’ve been enjoying myself.

And now you have this whole different kind of work, promoting Cherry and kind of getting the word out about that movie. I have a bunch of questions about this big epic. But I’m curious in terms of, what’s the origin story? Obviously you’ve worked with the Russo brothers pretty intensely for the past few years. Was it just kind of an automatic collaboration?

Yeah, basically as simple as that, really. I mean, I was working with Joe and Anthony on Avengers: Endgame. And Joe took me aside and said, “We’re making this film. We want you to be the lead. It’s a small, independent film.” He didn’t tell me what it was about. He just sort of told me that he wants me to be in it. And I was honestly just touched that they wanted to work with me. Of all the people in the business they could work with, I just felt really honored that they’d chosen me. And then when I finally got the chance to read the script, I was even more blown away, because I finally recognized the opportunity that had been handed to me.

As a young actor, you’re always looking for ways to challenge yourself. You’re looking for ways to push yourself you haven’t been in the past. And I think we could probably agree that this film achieves both of those goals. So as soon as I read the script and I knew that it was the Russos making it, it was a no-brainer, and it was a very definite yes.

It definitely does feel, I mean, in terms of its content and its style, even, like a big change for you. Do you at all view this as your first grown-up role, or your first adult role? I mean, is that how you kind of look at a project, or is it more just, this specific thing interests you?

That’s an interesting question. It depends what you mean by an adult role, but my agents and I are very strategic in choosing our moments, and trying to be really clever with when we decide to take that next step into becoming an adult and making films about real people and about real problems and getting messages across. And we did that a little bit with Devil All the Time, the Antonio Campos movie. That was kind of the first step, but Cherry is the big step. And that was why it was so daunting, because I haven’t done a film like this before. And I was nervous to see how the world would see me in that light and as that character. Obviously, the film hasn’t come out yet, but I am very apprehensive as to see how people respond to my work in this film.

There’s a lot of intense stuff in Cherry. What was, to your mind, when you read the script, the most daunting thing? What were you most scared to shoot?

I think it was probably the emotional aspect of the film. Physically, I knew I could do it. I knew I’d be able to do that. But emotionally, I’m very lucky and lived a very charmed life, and I’ve been an actor since I was 11. So I haven’t really had to deal with much trauma, or sorrow, or grief, or things like that. So I was worried that I wasn’t going to be able to maintain that level of emotion for a four-month period. That is where the Russos became so valuable, because they were my safety net. That’s where Ciara Bravo was so valuable. She was my partner in crime, and she’s absolutely astonishing in the film and a great friend. And I can’t tell you how lucky I am to have had her to help me throughout this process. So I think for me, yeah, the thing I was most daunted about was maintaining that level of emotion.

What kind of prep did you do? I think actors who are very good actors, they can fall into the trap of when they’re supposed to be acting high or on drugs or something, there can be a sort of showiness to that, as sort of theater. And something that’s really, I think, immersive and bracing about Cherry is that there’s none of that. It feels entirely credible when these characters are in these lows of their lives. Did you talk to soldiers, addicts, anything like that, in prepping to shoot?

Yes, absolutely. We did loads and loads of research. I mean, I must’ve sat down with 30 different people who are all veterans, who are all medics, all suffering from PTSD and substance abuse. And for me, the more information I could get about a problem that I knew so little about to begin with, the better. I worked with nurses. We worked with someone who was running a rehab clinic in Cleveland, and he became our consultant and would be there on set with us every day and would show us how to shoot someone up and show us how to cook heroin, or explain to us the feeling of what would it be like if you mixed a bit of crack with heroin.

There’s a scene in the film where I go to rob a bank, and I shoot up in the car just before. And he said to us that day, “You would never do that before you go into rob a bank.” But if you put a bit of crack in there, it would totally change your attitude and your physical prowess, I guess. So having people on set like that to kind of guide us through the process was so valuable.

I think I’m a bit older than you, and these characters are about my age. I was in college in the early 2000s, and 9/11 was my first week of college. And people in my hometown, well, my neighborhood in Boston, a lot of them were lost to opioids, either killed, or went to prison. And you’re younger, but did you see any parallels between this kind of half-generation removed and your age, the Generation Z? Do you think that a lot of these things are still kind of ongoing?

Yeah. I mean, arguably the opioid epidemic is worse now. And it’s affecting far more people. I think one of my favorite things that Joe said, Joe Russo, is the opening of the film is these swooping shots over Cleveland. We fly over Cleveland, and we see thousands and thousands of houses. And that is to convey to the audience that, yes, we’re telling the story of two people, but really, we’re telling the story of millions of people. This is one story amongst millions. And I really hope that this film can shed the light on a problem that’s invisible, and a problem that is mostly fought in the shadows. People are very ashamed to talk about their addictions and that sort of thing. So I hope that this will shed light on that problem, and people will change their attitude towards people who are suffering from addiction.

It almost feels surprising that there hasn’t been something about this very epic subject matter. What were the conversations like on set about the film’s style? I mean, it is pretty stylized. Did you feel that in the shooting, or is that kind of all added after the fact?

Absolutely. I mean, the Russos changed their way of shooting time and time again while we’re making this film, from different lenses they were using, from different styles of lighting, from different performance techniques. They would frame us sometimes very differently throughout the film. So we were very much aware of the different type of chapters we were trying to make.

Was that a real head-shaving moment in the film?

Yes. Well, we’d already shaved my head, because we were shooting prior. But what we did is we had about a week’s worth of work where we just allowed it to grow, and then he shaved it down to a one. But I actually loved having a shaved head. It was so nice. It was so refreshing to wake up, get out of bed and realize that your hair was already done. It was one of the only luxuries of playing this character.

Yeah. I let my hair get too long during quarantine, and then said, “Screw it. I’ll get the shortest haircut I’ve gotten in years.” And it is liberating. You just wake up, and you’re done.

Totally.

You’re on set, filming something else now, in very changed times from when I think Cherry was filmed. What is it like being back on a set? I mean, I’m not asking for spoilers or anything, don’t worry, but just in terms of the actual day-to-day of filming a movie with all these new restrictions, how has that experience been?

I mean, I love being on set. It’s where I feel most at home. It’s obviously limiting, with COVID, and we’re having to be very careful and very responsible in the way that we behave. There’s certain protocols that we have to follow, to make sure that we maintain this level of safety for the cast and crew. It can be a little tedious at times, but it’s so necessary. And we all recognize how lucky we are to be working right now. So it’s a necessity that we don’t mind taking on because, as I said, we’re also lucky to be here.

[locktobre]

bcbd thoughts

right away I see that this is only an hour long, so... it’s not a movie, then. it’s a one hour special, again. I feel like I’m already gonna miss the extra 20 minutes just like dolphin magic but we’ll see I guess. maybe it��ll be a mercy that it’s shorter.

the opening credits/dream sequence was nice. the animation on the city is decent, and the monochrome thing was kind of cool.

her being on stage reminded me a little of Eden, and then immediately I missed Eden so much. they would never let a version of Babs be a bitch now and that’s such a shame.

so now we’re joking about George tracking Barbie’s cell phone? bc that’s fine and not at all an invasion of privacy or anything. also, you can check flight statuses on the internet so that’s really not necessary. also, why the fuck didn’t Barbie call them once she got off the plane? or at least text? I always text or call my mom when I land, and frankly I’m not even as close to my mom as Barbie claims to be to her parents. and I did that when I was 17 traveling alone, too, so it’s not just something I do as an adult. it’s part of the responsibility of traveling to let ppl know that you got somewhere safe so they don’t worry about you. what the fuck Babs.

was that honking supposed to be like censoring the cabbie swearing bc I would love that. let the cabbie say fuck.

I still maintain that this “summer program” thing is bullshit and Babs should have been going off to college. I know they won’t let her grow up but it makes more sense than this does. also, you’re telling me there’s no summer programs for acting/whatever in LA? seriously? she HAD to go across the country for this? and her parents let her? they don’t even trust her! they said that 2 seconds ago! or is tracking her cell phone the reason she’s allowed to travel across the country (to Willows and Florida and Hawaii) by herself in the first place? I hate this I hate it so much already

The Handler Arts Academy... oh I’m feeling emotions

“luck’s got nothing to do with it. you worked your tail off for this” SHOW ME FOR WHEN, PLEASE. this could have been an actual arc of the show, a goal Barbie was working towards that could thread thru multiple episodes... but no. this came out of nowhere. I’m STILL saying that Amelia bought Barbie’s place here bc FUCK YOU SHOW

“I hope I’m good enough” you’re a mediocre rich white woman, you can do literally anything you want.

why is her guitar shoved in a cardboard box and not, idk, in a guitar case? that’s stupid. also, that’s an open cardboard box, so how did that travel on the plane? a closed cardboard box, fine. should be a suitcase, but fine. but this just makes no sense and I am not going to let it slide bc I hate this continuity and everything about it.

however, I will give Brooklyn a pass for the open cardboard box bc she literally lives in NYC and didn’t have to take a fucking plane to get here. she can carry it like that if she wants.

“as long as you don’t break [my leg], we’re good” I’ve already seen Brooklyn in a cast, so... does Malibu literally break her leg later on? even on accident... jesus christ.

is this Russian(?) custodian lady gonna be the antagonist/villain? bc I’m already not vibing with that. not at fucking all.

how the FUCK could they show up a day early? why would they not show up on the day they’re supposed to? that doesn’t make any sense! and if they’re NOT supposed to be there yet, then there would be no staff there to watch them, so they should have to come back tomorrow! they shouldn’t be allowed to be by themselves in a school like this! I’m assuming this is to facilitate a day of bonding without stupid things like classes in the way, but they could have written an orientation day or something in that would have made more sense, and as I said, I am not inclined to give them a pass on anything these days. fuck you all.

so, room assignments are alphabetical... I guess that kind of explains them being in the same room, altho it does feel coincidental that they wouldn’t be, like, in neighboring rooms. also they didn’t animate little signs on the other doors, even with nonsense text if they didn’t want to put other names up, so their door really sticks out for no reason. also, shouldn’t it say “Barbie Roberts & Barbie Roberts” or some other way of having both names on the door? also, if the school knows they have the same name, couldn’t they put middle initials or something? we know Malibu is Barbie M. Roberts, and I will generously assume that Brooklyn’s middle name is something else, so that would have been fine. this really feels like the administrators don’t give a fuck, and in a supposedly prestigious school, I don’t buy that.

so, Brooklyn has been training every summer in different programs, very intensely, to get in here... and Malibu trained on the internet. what have I been saying about Malibu’s white mediocrity? hmm?

even after that (lackluster) montage, it feels way too soon for “Before Us.” I don’t believe they’re best friends who warrant a song about their friendship. I don’t believe that at all.

I like the bald fashionista being on the billboard, that’s a nice touch.

Malibu bringing up her vlog like that gives me hives. she has already stated multiple times that she does that to help ppl, not for clout, and yet. here she is. being a fake ass bitch once again.

Brooklyn and Emmie’s story is already way more interesting than this and I’m pissed that’s just backstory.

LOVE that green-haired dude. idk where you’re going with that drum but godspeed my dude.

I’m assuming that’s Emmie incognito in the back, but... what’s she doing here if she’s already famous? pulling an Erika Juno?

Dean Morrison seems cool

(is it too early to ship Brooklyn x Emmie?)

if pets are allowed in this school, I’m SHOCKED Malibu didn’t bring Taffy. truly fucking shocked.

Rafa reminds me so much of Jacques Rousseau

“the only labels we believe in are designer” so Rafa’s gay, right? Barbie’s first gay character? I can only assume

the ballet thing still doesn’t make sense to me, if their goal is to be on Broadway. ballet is an entire art and discipline in itself.

fencing makes more sense, bc stage fighting is a thing.

‘work it’ is even funnier than I imagined. Malibu you’re such a fuck up. and I can’t even cut you some slack bc earlier you said your training was “internet.” you didn’t work for this and you don’t belong here. die.

if this was PCS, Malibu would have been kicked out already. YOU WERE NOT PREPARED FOR THIS. WHAT HAVE I BEEN SAYING FOR MONTHS.

so, the ‘work it’ montage clearly showed the passage of time, it’s been at least a week, and... Malibu hasn’t talked to Ken at all during that time? this is the first time she’s telling him about Brooklyn?

ok, confirmed to be a week. and she hasn’t talked to Ken. of course. they are so close of course she hasn’t talked to him in a week, especially when she’s been struggling so much and would need to vent to a friend about it. of course.

so, Emmie is pulling an Erika Juno. at least she’s in disguise.

jesus christ, they’re really having Emmie be exploited by her own father??? JESUS.

ok Brooklyn x Emmie is sailing.

Brooklyn’s mom is an airline pilot, that sounds cool.

so the dresses are powered by the magic of friendship? cool. that’s stupid.

of COURSE Emmie’s dad is the board member. jesus christ I hate this dude.

okay, so she DIDN’T break her leg, it’s only a sprain. thank god. poor green-haired drum dude.

saying “epic fail” in 2021 unironically is not cool, mattel. unless I’m even more out of touch with the youth than I thought, but I’m pretty sure about that.

wait, so Brooklyn was dancing... and now she’s on crutches again? what is this montage? they fucked up here.

of all things to kick Malibu out for, they’re saying she pushed Brooklyn? why not all the fuck ups in her first week?

also, Rafa was taping that class so how do they not bring that up immediately? that’s the whole reason they were dancing over there in the first place! (so he might not have caught anything, but still, I have to assume that’s going to fix this bc that’s what these movies do.)

I really like Malibu’s leather jacket look, but she does look a little bit old I think. Brooklyn’s leggings look is nice, too.

okay, so Brooklyn suddenly believes the unnamed witness over the girl she sang ‘before us’ with? okay. I told you this friendship was a crock of shit. they don’t trust each other at all! Brooklyn should have been angry when she first fell, and it builds to thinking that she was sabotaged, but she brushed it off... and now she’s pissed. that makes no sense.

this friendship breakup song also means nothing to me bc their friendship fell apart for such a stupid reason. fate didn’t tear you apart, you tore yourselves apart by not trusting each other. stupid little children.

if Brooklyn’s ankle isn’t completely healed aka still painful, she should not be dancing on it, she could injure herself more or at least prolong the healing process.

ok, so NOW, after Malibu has already been expelled and sent back home, they remembered the video. these kids are so fucking stupid. and of COURSE the unnamed witness is Mr Miller! Emmie, you ALREADY KNOW that your dad is shady as shit and wants you to get the Spotlight Solo! HOW DID YOU NOT PUT THIS TOGETHER IN 5 SECONDS? I DID

so, Mr Miller thought Malibu was Emmie’s biggest competition for the solo? Malibu, the spectacular fuck up? not Brooklyn? or any of the background extras? I refuse to fucking believe that. I REFUSE.

how did George and Margaret just let Malibu get expelled without flying out there to fight the charge? seriously?

how is is Brooklyn singing ‘before us’ in-universe such that Malibu recognizes it? you’re breaking the conventions of musicals! I don’t get this!

I like Brooklyn’s mom being a pilot less after it’s been used to facilitate this bullshit part of the plot.

again, just “Barbie Roberts” makes no sense. where’s a middle initial to differentiate them! SOMETHING! I know they’re doing the finale together, but still, it’s STUPID.

shipping Rafa x green-haired drummer dude bc I can

where’s the Emmie doll for this movie?????? I’m so disappointed. also the other outfits, the leather jacket and leggings ones, I swear those weren’t dolls either. what the fuck

I see more fashionistas on billboards at the end! I really like that

so the custodian wasn’t a villain... then why that introduction for her? that went nowhere

is “Big City Big Dreams” supposed to be Emmie’s song? that Malibu lips-synced to on her vlog (apparently)? I can’t tell by the voice and they don’t list the voices for the songs in the credits

overall, once again it largely made no sense. idk if it would have benefitted from 20 extra minutes of screentime bc nothing really happened.

also, what the fuck happened to Mr Miller? he just keeps on exploiting his daughter? and for that matter, what happened to Emmie’s mom? bc she lived with her, and then all of the sudden her dad was in her life again and exploiting her, so... what did mom die? did he kill her? what am I supposed to think? and Emmie’s STILL stuck in that situation? girl. what the fuck

also of course they were too cowardly to confirm anything about Rafa. of course.

[thorne93]

The Stars Made Us (Part 1)

Prompt: In this world, you’re one of the “lucky” ones who got a soulmate, but what if the universe gives you more than you bargained for?

(Prompt challenge -- You live in a world where your soulmate can write on their skin and you will get the writing on your own and vice versa. Where they can wash away the ink on their own skin, however, the writing is forever scarred onto your skin until you meet face to face)

Word Count: 1857

Warnings: angst and language throughout

Notes: This was supposed to be for @sorryimacrapwriter and their challenge like a year ago, I think? I still loved the prompt though and have been working on this story for quite some time. This aesthetic was made by @dontshootmespence, thank you so much! Beta’d by @like-a-bag-of-potatoes, couldn’t have done it without you, as well as @carryonmyswansong and @arrow-guy and @mrs-dragneel-stark-solo

Also, I’ve never really liked the whole soulmate AU thing idea, but this felt so right and it was amazing to write. I hope y’all love it too!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ever since you were little, you’d heard the legends. The legend of soulmates. It was as common as Santa Claus or winning the lottery. Some weren’t sure they believed it, because although it was real, it was so rare that people didn’t know how to feel about it. Perhaps it was like believing in ghosts. Documented cases, proof, eye witness accounts weren’t enough to sway some skeptics. Yet, it had to be real because there was a registry, much like when you go to get your license or file a birth certificate or a social security number. There was a system in place to keep track of soulmates.

While others, mainly hopeless romantics, truly believed in soulmates. You heard whispers of it when people talked of their grandparents “perfect marriage” and how they just had to be soulmates. You’d heard some kids on the playground swear their cousin just got their soulmate. 

Now, it wasn’t for everyone. It was a rarity, and much like winning the lottery, it only happened to a select few. 

The few were seemingly random. Everyone from celebrities and CEOs down to starving artists and people who managed grocery stores. It touched all races, religions, and economic status. It was global. It wasn’t unheard of for a South American woman to be mated with a French man. Or one Australian to find their mate within Africa. 

Stories of epic journeys to find their love and mate had been told as bedtime stories. Heart wrenching stories of soulmates who never got to be together. 

The idea of soulmates was so endowed in the world and in history that it was rare enough to be celebrated, but common enough to be easily accepted. That’s why, when people walked with scars all over their body, formed in words, people didn’t even think twice.

That’s how it worked. On people’s 18th birthday, their soulmate was assigned, if they had one. Writing on any part of your skin would show up on your mate’s skin as a scar, and vice-versa. For two days out of the year, their birthdays, they could communicate this way. 

The only downside was that you couldn’t give out your information to your mate -- that part was up to the universe. When they needed you most, their name and address would show up on your arm. It could be life or death, it could be a mental breakdown, it could be that they’re hurt and need a friend. But until then, you shouldn’t share personal information. People had done it before, met their mates before the universe decided it was time, and awful things tended to happen. 

But if they were patient enough, willing enough to wait for the right day, it would all be worth it and they were usually guaranteed a happy life. 

Even though you grew up with this knowledge, you’d let it fall to the wayside in your mind. School and friendships took precedence, and you led your life normally. Every now and again, like on birthdays, a fleeting thought of the prospect of a soulmate would run through your head, but for the most part, you filed it away as a fantasy. 

That was, until your best friend Jenny reminded you of it on your 18th birthday.

You were having a party at your house. A group of about ten friends and you went out and played mini-golf, then had pizza at your house with cake and gifts, then watched a new movie. Your parents gave you money to buy a lottery ticket for fun, and gave you some money for college. 

Nearly everyone had gone home, and your parents already wished you a happy birthday with hugs and kisses before going off to bed. All that was left were you and Jenny, and she was about to walk out the door.

“I’m just saying, you’re 18 now,” she stated as she walked. 

“Yeah, I gathered that when I counted 18 candles on the cake, what’s your point?” you asked with a smile.

“My point is, maybe you should try and see if you’ve got a soulmate.” 

You shook your head and rolled your eyes. “Jenny, the odds of me having a soulmate are like 1 in a million. It’s a silly idea.”

“That’s been true. You know it and I know it. What’s the harm in finding out? I just had a cousin last year that found out. She wrote some appointment down when she was 21, her soulmate got it and wrote back.” 

You perched an eyebrow at her. “How romantic.” 

“I’m serious! Come on, how cool would it be?” 

“It would be kind of neat,” you admitted sheepishly, grinning. “But if no one writes back--”

“Then you haven’t lost anything, and you’ll find someone great later in life. No harm, no foul. Right?” She gave you that super convincing gorgeous smile before dropping her pushiness. “Alright, alright. Just think about it, okay? Happy birthday,” she said before hugging you tightly. 

“Thanks,” you said back.

With that, you cleaned up the kitchen and living room, gathered your gifts, and headed up to bed.  You pulled on your pajamas and crawled into your bed, you sat there, thinking about what Jenny had said.

What would be the harm in writing on your arm? If no one spoke back, it was no big deal, right? 

But if they didn’t write back, would you be saddened? You’d always secretly hoped you had a soulmate out there, so to find out you didn’t have one would be a little devastating. Of course, your life wouldn’t be over, and like Jenny said, you could always find a partner just like you normally would. 

Ultimately, it was just a schoolgirl fantasy… but what if it wasn't? you wondered idly as you sat with your leg propped up on the bed. 

You grabbed a pen off your nightstand and took a deep breath, trying to think of the best thing to ask - this would be scarred on them indefinitely after all. 

You thought, and you thought, pondering anything you could say. But what do you say to a potential soulmate? Finally, you decided there was no perfect way to go about this, and you put your pen to your arm, writing: Is anyone out there? 

You held your breath for a second, wondering if you’d get a scar somewhere in response, even bracing for some form of pain, but after a few moments -- nothing. Nothing happened. 

You sighed. Well, it was a long shot anyway.

After lying in bed disappointed for a while, a feather light sensation came crawling across your arm. You frowned for a split second before glancing down and seeing the letters. Instantly, a grin grew wide across your face. 

“Hi there. : )” 

You wanted to jump for joy. Immediately, your heart soared at the sight. Someone out there was actually fated to be yours? You couldn’t believe this. Why you? You weren’t special. 

“This is my email, if you would like to talk more,” you offered, scribbling on your skin before adding in your email. You opted for email since any other form of communication you might be tempted to find out their name.

Within two minutes, a ping noise came from your computer. You sprang from your bed, not even caring that you were the epitome of a school girl right that second. You dashed the cursor over to your inbox and read the new email. 

“Hello. So I suppose this means we’re soulmates...”

“I suppose it does,” you wrote back, a giant grin on your face. 

“We should probably get some of the formalities out of the way. What should I call you? How old are you?” 

“You can call me… Y/F/I. And I’m 18, today is my birthday. I’m sure you’ve heard the stories of people giving out their information before their time. I think we should stick to initials.” 

One minute later, in the same penmanship, you felt something on your bicep -- Happy Birthday

The smile on your face lit back up. 

“That’s my gift to you. And yes, I have heard of the stories. I would rather be safe than sorry as well. You can call me X. I’m 21. I’m in college, actually in graduate school.”

“Wow, that’s amazing. You’re already in grad school? How? What’s your area of study? I’m going into college in the fall - psychology.” 

“I think I should be surprised, but I’m not. That’s what my PhD will be in,” he informed. “As well as genetics and biophysics.” 

Well, the universe is funny, isn’t it? 

You continued to read his message. 

“Long story short, I graduated college at 16. Harvard, if you can believe it.”

Instantly, you were hit with a wave of surprise and shock. Your soulmate was a genius? He was a Harvard grad at 16? In what universe was that possible?

“That’s… really impressive. God I wish I could do that. It’d be amazing to be already done with college. I haven’t even gone there yet but it seems like a lot of work and a lot of stress. Hopefully, the pay off will be worth it though.” 

“What are you wanting to do with your degree?”

“Psychiatry.”

“A noble profession.” 

“I think so. I’d like to help people, as corny as that sounds.”

“I don’t think it sounds corny at all. Quite admirable, in fact. If people didn’t feel that way, we wouldn’t have good people in the world.”

He already thought you were a good person? you wondered, warmth spreading over you.

“I guess that is one way to look at it. I just want to help people and be a voice for people who don’t exactly have a lot of advocates.”

“That’s precisely why we get into these professions, darling,” he wrote.

Darling? Wow, so far, this guy was the jackpot. 

“I suppose it is. So what are some of your favorite books, if you don’t mind me asking? And movies. I feel like a quick way to get to know someone pretty well is through their interests.”

“Indeed it is,” he replied. “I happen to favor T.H. White’s The Once and Future King, as far as books go and I don’t particularly have time for many films.”

“Oh, I see,” you started, and then explained your favorite books and film. 

He had asked you why you liked those and you went into a rather lengthy explanation of why you enjoyed them more than others. After that you two talked music, actually having quite a lot in common there. 

You stayed up all night emailing, until the sun came up. It wasn’t until the glare hit your computer screen that you realized it, either. You didn’t want to end the magical evening, but you did need rest, and you were sure as a grad student, he needed all he could get as well. 

That morning you went to sleep with this newfound relief. It was one less thing you’d have to worry about in life. Worry about finding a mate, a partner for life. They were already there, already perfect, already waiting…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Forever Tag: 

@essie1876

@magpiegirl80

@letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked

@iamwarrenspeace

@marvel-imagines-yes-please

@superwholocked527

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Charles Xavier

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@lenawiinchester​

[ratingtheframe]

So 2020 sucked... but the films didn’t! The top twenty films of 2020 (in my humble opinion).

AT LAST. This godforsaken year is over and as we venture into a new year, let's hope and pray that the art’s industry finds a way to build themselves back up again, in a way that is safe and necessary for them to bring us the entertainment we so crave. It has been a crazy and unprecedented year for the film industry, a year that it has never seen with losses of an estimated $5 Billion at the end of March. Some of the most anticipated blockbusters of all time had to be put on hold and postponed for hopefully next year with No Time to Die, A Quiet Place II, Wonder Woman 1984, Dune and Black Widow being a slim few that never got onto a silver screen this year. However, there is no reason to fret or relinquish the loss film has had this year, as hopefully next year once we’ve had a better understanding of this virus, these films along with many others will have their audience. Amongst the postponed releases, many films have been resilient to the virus and still managed to gain a spot in the cinema despite the circumstances. 

Christopher Nolan’s Tenet was the only multi-million dollar film to be released this year and even though the risk of release could have meant nothing for the film, it still managed to rake in a staggering $361 million, an expected profit for a film of its size. However, despite the film's success, Nolan made it clear that this shouldn’t be taken lightly and that the safety of film consumers comes before the profits themselves. 

Even though we will have to be more cautious in the cinema, films will return, once we have regulated safety measures in cinemas and film festivals to ensure that customers can feel comfortable. For now, HBO has planned to put many releases from Warner Bros. straight onto its streaming platform as well as in the cinema next year, in an attempt to prevent the spread of COVID whilst still being able show the films we’ve been craving. There’s no telling what next year will bring, what the Oscars will look like or if filming for the next Batman film will ever end, however it's clear to see that the film industry has shown resilience amongst this pandemic and will continue to do so in years to come, no matter the challenges.

Here are twenty of the films that made it to the cinema (or streaming platforms) this year, that proved the durability of the film industry during this time. 

20. Tenet directed by Christopher Nolan 

We can all agree that Chrisopher Nolan’s Tenet should be handed the award of Most Confusing Yet Entertaining Film of the Year, or ever made in fact. The sci-fi epic adventure that sees its lead (named “the protagonist) travel back in time and then forward in time and then back in time again (?)... yup, I didn’t get it either, but I’m not the only one seeing as Robert Pattinson who played alongside John David Washingston hadn’t a clue what was going on either. And he was in the film. However, despite the film's confusion, it doesn’t make it a bad or “lazy” film, for every aspect of this film from lighting, sound design, casting, direction, stunts WAS ON POINT and those elements are truly what sets this film apart. The story may have been perplexing but at least there was one. 

19. Nomadland directed by Chloé Zhao

It is such a shame that Nomadland may not get the audience it deserves due to the COVID-19 pandemic as it is a truly moving and rich film. The Nomads are a group of real Americans who’ve hit the road in various mobile homes after the Great Recession in 2008 caused millions to be homeless and redundant. Frances McDormand plays Fern, one of these Nomads and child of the road whilst the film follows her simple, yet melancholy journey across Western America.  Chloé Zhao has been tipped several times for an Oscar with Nomadland after winning the Golden Lion at this year’s Venice Film Festival. Let’s hope that if this goes onto the Academy Awards, Nomadland will find the audience it so craves. 

18. Uncut Gems directed by the Safdie Brothers 

YES, Uncut Gems came out THIS YEAR, which is an insane thought seeing as I saw the film in a packed cinema before it was released onto Netflix. The Safdie Brothers, Josh and Benny brought us Uncut Gems this year, a declining tale of a man’s test with fate and the many many second chances he gets at life, only to f*** all of them up. Adam Sandler plays Howard Ratner, a pawn shop owner and frequent gambler. This is Sandler’s best ever role and the multifaceted, gritty work of the Safdie Brothers (Heaven Knows What, Good Time) really brought something brilliant out of him. 

17. The Half of it directed by Alice Wu

The Half of It wins the Most Surprising Film of the Year. A highly credible film directed by Alice Wu, The Half of It is EVERYTHING we want and need in this world. In fact, it’s everything we kind of already have in this world, but hardly see on screen. Non white leads, queer non stereotyped relationships, unpredictable endings; The Half of It was an all rounder for me. Some may roll their eyes at the amount of diverse elements to the film and see it as a way of gaining brownie points, but why does that have to be a thing? Why can’t having active and authentic representation across all films just be normal rather than political? If anything, it should be encouraged. The story was brilliant (and made me cry) as it had so many layers to it as well as the characters.

16. 7500 directed by Patrick Vollrath

Definitely the wildcard of this list, 7500 is an Amazon Studios film starring Joseph Gordon Levitt. I’ll admit, my hopes weren’t high, but after taking the time to watch this film I was truly blown away. And who KNEW Joseph Gordon Levitt could be so deep and in tune with his emotions on screen. He plays a pilot whose plane gets hijacked mid flight. There. Enough said. I could hardly BREATHE throughout this film in apprehension of what was going to happen next.

15. Kajilionaire directed by Miranda July

2020 thus far has been the best year for female filmmakers. From Céline Sciamma’s Portrait of a Lady on Fire, Josephine Decker’s Shirley, Rose Glass’ Saint Maud and Miranda July’s Kajilionaire, a clear cut foundation has been carved effortlessly for female filmmakers this year. Miranda July’s Kajilionaire especially rocked my senses a little as I saw so much unfamiliarity yet beauty within this film. A simple storyline that follows Old Dolio (Evan Rachael Wood), a young woman trying to feel more connected with her parents. A certainly bittersweet tale that has this rose tinted like vibe to it that attaches itself to the visuals and music of the film, that make everything feel light and playful. This contrasts well with the story itself as being sad and melancholy, further proving the fact this film is more than face value. Face value films have never gotten us anywhere and its films that go beyond entertainment that truly last in the industry. 

14. Bombshell directed by Jay Roach 

Bombshell is a PERFECT title for this film; a film that left me angry, sad and questioning the immorality that is still prevalent in the mostly male dominant society we live in. Charlize Theron, Margot Robbie and Nicole Kidman (best trio ever) star as three news anchors on Fox news whose lives are brutally torn apart when the Head of Fox News, Roger Ailes is accused of sexual harassment on many different occasions by female members of the workplace. Despite the silence being now broken, these three women still face a whole load of other problems that come in speaking up against a powerful, white and rich male. Threats of permanent job losses, victim blaming and a weak image are the consequence of speaking up about sexual assault as a member of Fox news. The brand itself has an incredibly misogynistic view of women and continues to have an idealised image of how women should be on the news with those working at Fox actually admitting it brings in viewers. Women with tons of makeup and dresses shorter than is comfortable is Fox news and Bombshell went above and beyond exposing this scandal that truly shook American broadcasting forever. 

13. Borat Subsequent Movie Film directed by Jason Woliner 

Borat Subsequent Movie Film wins the award for Most Jaw Dropping Film of the Year, as its protagonist and creator Sacha Baron Cohen, went above and beyond to show us the true dark depths of America. Ballsy, outrageous, jaw dropping, scandalous; every bold word can be used to describe this film and the lengths it went to get right to the heart of American society. The ugly heart. By now you should be aware that the ex president’s attorney was shoved right into the firing line after he was taken into a hotel bedroom by a reporter who happened to be an actor. Rudi Gulliani was left red faced after Borat bursts into the hotel room proclaiming the young reporter is his daughter, with Gulliani still unaware the entire outrageous event had been caught on camera. And not just any camera. A MOVIE camera. A true triumph in free speech and comedy, Borat Subsequent Movie Film will live on forever as the most outlandish film there is.

12. Miss Juneteenth directed by Channing Godfrey-Peoples 

A real eye opener into current American society using a touching story between mother and daughter as a backdrop. Turquoise is a single mother struggling to get by and support her daughter Kai through the Miss Juneteenth pageant, held annually in Fort Worth, Texas. A real competition, the Miss Juneteenth pageant promises one lucky young woman of colour a full scholarship to a black historical college of their choosing. Turquoise desperately wants this for her daughter as it’ll give her the opportunities in life she never had. A truly moving and authentic film, this scored 100% on Rotten Tomatoes which is a highly impressive and deserving score.

11. The Trial of the Chicago Seven directed by Aaron Sorkin

Aaron Sorkin’s lyricism in words was again brought to us on screen this year with his depiction of the Chicago 7 (eight if you count Bobby Seale); seven men who were accused and put on trial for eliciting the Chicago riots of 1968. When in actuality, the police themselves had more to do with riling up the protestors than anyone else, even pushing a crowd of protestors through the front window of a restaurant to make it seem like they had vandalised the property. If anyone was going to make such a film, Sorkin would be the one to do it as with any event or idea he covers, Sorkin’s words as a writer MAKE YOU CARE. Even when you had no recollection or understanding of something, the way Sorkin depicts these events on screen has you absorbed into the story till the last second. An incredible and powerful story and a film that I could constantly go back to in order to learn about the injustices of American politics.  

10. The Devil All the Time directed by Antonio Campos 

I feel like The Devil All the Time still hasn’t got the recognition it deserves. There is something incredibly powerful and priceless about having a group of exceptionally talented people come together to create something for screen. This film wins Best Casting of the Year (if you don’t count Dune) as the likes of Tom Holland, Robert Pattinson, Eliza Scanlen, Sebastian Stan, Bill Skarsgård,  Mia Wasikowska, Harry Melling, Riley Keogh, Jason Clarke and Haley Bennett graced our screens in this dark and ominous tale. Any story that is set in a small town and is about stories interweaving is bound to be interesting and thought provoking in it’s telling, with this adaptation being no different. The star of the show was Robert Pattinson’s thick Tennessee accent along with his clean yet filthy character interpretation of a perverted priest. Not one line in this film was thrown away and every single moment held a weighty tension, further confirming to us each character’s downfall by the end. An amazing adaptation and something you will reeeeeally enjoy.

9. Soul directed by Pete Docter 

What was supposed to be Pixar’s second release of the year, Soul is Pixar’s most highly executed film to date. The amount of detail and care the animators and creators of Soul had taken to this picture is INSANE; insanely beautiful. With the black community going through so much this year, having something like Soul be put out to audiences shows support of this ever changing and growing movement. Even though having black representation on screen isn’t on the top of everyone’s priority list, it’s still important that the effort is there in order to really show what the world is like on screen and to cater to more audiences. Soul itself had everything; diverse, three dimensional characters, a clear and heart warming story and comedic, uplifting points that only strengthened the important message of this movie; life itself.

8. The Lighthouse directed by Robert Eggers 

Again, another film that came out right at the beginning of the year, Robert Egger’s The Lighthouse was a whole new world that we had never seen before. Shot on a Panavision Millennium XL2 using a lense from the 1930s and black and white film, The Lighthouse was a decrepit, eerie and brilliant movie to watch throughout. It just makes me satisfied as a viewer when a director not only creates a film, but creates one that is so beyond anything we’ve ever seen and could likely have been made in an entirely different era altogether. Robert Pattinson KILLED IT in his role as a surly drunken sailor alongside Willem Dafoe, whose Irish accent was enviable. Overall a highly executed film that exudes brilliance and a creative mind.

7. The Hater directed by Jan Komasa 

I would say The Hater is the second wildcard on this list. It’s a Polish drama that hasn’t had a lot of rep in the media, however, this doesn’t detract from the film’s execution and drama. A real downfall story that sees a jealous ridden man go from a media intern into illicting terrorism. Like, HELLO how does one go to such an extreme? The only way to find out would be watching the film...The film really spoke to the dangers of social media and the ease of getting someone to insight violence onto someone else, all through a computer. My mouth was hanging on the floor during several moments of this film and I can 100% guarantee the Netflix film will have the same affect on you.

6. La Belle Époque directed by Nicolas Bedos 

La Belle Époque (or “The Good Times”) wins the award for Most Heart Warming Film of the Year. A surprisingly unique concept that follows a man trying to relive the best moments of his past after his wife wishes to divorce him. A company that specialises in creating your past memories offers him the opportunity to go back to the time when he and his wife first met, using actors, set design and music to recreate the moment. The French film emits a strong sense of nostalgia throughout with brilliant music and set design. It’s just one of those films that heavily expresses the idea of “what if” within a film whilst answering it boldly through its unique story.

5. Ema directed by Pablo Larraín 

Ema took me a few days to fully absorb and appreciate as an experimental film, rather than one with a clear cut narrative. It's a film that expresses an idea, a feeling as opposed to a story which is completely okay and doable in this day and age. Ema is a liberating, freeing and psychedelic world of a film, with the message of the film being wrapped up in Ema’s attitude as a woman and the way she sets fires to things wherever she goes. Literally, as the opening sequence is of her setting alight a basketball hoop. There is some strong, vivid imagery within this and the MUSIC...definitely the best sound track I’ve heard this year. Ema’s in my top five for its uniqueness, rawness and the weird sense of liberation it gave me after watching it.

4. Saint Maud directed by Rose Glass

Probably the biggest breakthrough film of the year and despite the pandemic, Saint Maud certainly got the rep it deserved. An entirely new perspective of horror was brought to use in troves in the form of this Irish film created by first time director Rose Glass. I cannot express how brilliant and revolutionary Saint Maud was for its simplicity, story and filmmaking techniques. An ambitious and all round brilliant film that sits prettily in my top five films of the year.

3. Portrait of a Lady on Fire directed by Céline Sciamma

Portrait of a Lady on Fire wins the award for Best Foreign Language Film and it still hurts to think it never even made it to the Academy Awards this year. One of the most moving and earthy films that I’ve seen this year, Portrait of a Lady on Fire is a slow, sensual and ambiguous picture that shows a love story between two women through the form of art. I became quite obsessed with the music of Antonio Vivaldi after seeing this as the time period and music intertwined really well in this film. Exceptionally made and incredibly raw, Portrait of a Lady on Fire went straight for the heart in this film by also putting the grievances of love at the forefront of this film. 

2. Parasite directed by Bong Joon Ho 

You are probably extremely bored and tired of hearing of the success of Parasite as a breakthrough picture, however there are an abundance of reasons for it! Winner of Six Academy Awards including Best Picture, Parasite really pulled the rug beneath the Academy Awards feet and certainly proved that no matter your race, it's the story that sells and that will bank you an Academy Award. A wonderfully crafted story, one that could have been found in theatre or even opera and those sort of structured narratives are what really grab people’s attention. 

1. Another Round (Druk) directed by Thomas Vinterberg 

And finally, my favourite, Most Enjoyable Film of the Year had to be without a doubt, Thomas Vinterburg’s Druk, which I had the pleasure of seeing at the BFI London Film Festival this year. The theatre-like structure of a narrative has been implemented seamlessly into this film and even if structure means nothing to you, you can feel when a film has been crafted differently to bring about a dynamic and earthy narrative. I’ve previously watched two films of Vinterberg’s; Festen and The Hunt and even though those two films hold a high rating, Druk is definitely Vinterberg’s best film yet. Extremely entertaining whilst also carrying a rather dark side to it, Vinterberg sells you the best and worst of two worlds whilst exposing the effects of alcohol consumption. 

And that’s it! 2020 in films! If you agreed or disagreed with anything on this list or think something else should’ve made the list that came out this year, be sure to leave me a comment on this post or via instagram on @ratingtheframe. It’s crazy to think that this obsession of mine turns two years old next year and there are still so many amazing pictures to be seen! And as always, you will find each and every one of them right here on @ratingtheframe.tumblr.

Bring on 2021!

[screamingatanemptyroom]

Please Fix the Story! Pt 5- Fantasy World

Here is the next part! Starting out in a new world! 

I made a master post with chapter links! - linked here

Enjoy!

_________________________

It was the emptiness between worlds. 

I hung there, formless, empty, in total darkness as a slow sense of confusion washed over me. From what I could remember transfers between worlds had always been rapid. The longest I had ever spent in this nothingness had been a few seconds. But as seconds turned to minutes, and confusion grew into panic, I finally called out, surprised I could hear my own voice.

“Am I done?” Had this task of transferring between story worlds finally finished? Would I get my memories back? Go home?

There was a flash of joy at the thought, followed by an uneasy feeling as I thought about the person who had followed me the last two worlds.

Liam. Is he really waiting for me in the next one?

Before I could examine my thoughts or feelings too closely, however, words formed in the space in front of me, the bright blue letters glowing in the surrounding darkness.

Have you learned to accept you fate?

“Accept my fate?” I shook my head. “You mean that I’m destined to travel between worlds being useless and bitter side characters?”

You can go home. You can have everything back.

“Wait… I can?”

All you have to do is accept the destiny given to you.

What does that mean?!!I wanted to know who I was, I wanted to end this constant world hopping. But even as I prepared to accept, a severe stabbing pain filled my head. Something had been forgotten, something desperately important, but the harder I tried to catch it the further it fled. As I struggled I felt something deep within my soul rise up, and a single word was shouted instead of the agreement I had initially meant to give.

“NEVER!” It came out a snarl, filled with bitterness and rage, and overwhelming hatred and anger flooded my senses.

I couldn’t give up.

I WOULD NEVER give up.

Even if I wasn’t sure what that meant.

Very well. It was just silent text, but I could sense the disappointment behind them.

Then continue.

Before I could respond, the words faded, and I was in a new world.

_________________________

“Help me!” A young voice filled with fear called out.

I opened my eyes, blinking in the bright sunlight, taking in the world around me.

Trees. Massive trees, in every direction I could see. A thin film of sunlight passed through the thick canopy of leaves, illuminating the ground covered in flowers. Butterflies of every color flittered around me, moving frantically from bloom to bloom. A dense smell of grass mixed with a sweet aroma of the flowers around me filled the air. It was a paradise.

“HELP!” Hearing the voice call out again, I leapt to my feet, feeling oddly unbalanced.

Why do I feel so… small? Looking down at my hands, I saw that they were much smaller than any of my previous bodies, with chubby, childish fingers. My legs were short, the small toes of my bare feet buried in the grass in flowers. I wore a simple green smock that came to my knees, the dress hanging straight down over a flat chest.

I was a child.

Well… this is new.Before I could truly process the new body, I heard another scream of fear and ran towards it, trying to cope to the much shorter leg length than what I had previously taken for granted in the zombie world. As I passed between two large tree trunks, I skidded to a stop, gaping at the sight in front of me.

There was an elven child under attack.

He was about the same size as me, with pale skin, delicate features, and long pointed ears that poked through golden hair. A pair of bright green eyes, filled with tears and fear stared up at me. His small arms and legs flailed wildly trying to strike at the dark monster that pushed him to the ground.

I grabbed a branch on the ground, stumbling a bit from the weight and my lack of strength, and dragged it over.  Screaming out, I swung the branch at the creature attacking the boy, knocking him several feet away.

The shadowy monster landed on its feet, turning towards me with a loud snarl. It had the vague form of a large wolf, but its entire being was made of darkness, the edges of its body blurred, as if it were something unnatural pushing against the edges of reality. From in between its black pointed fangs, a dark liquid dropped, burning the grass it touched. The only color that could be seen were its eyes, that were a startling shade of dark blue.

“Get behind me.” I snapped at the child, brandishing my makeshift weapon again.

He stared up at me silently, his eyes confused, his body frozen in place.

“Or you can just lay there and let the monster eat you. That works too I guess.”  I felt sorry for the kid, but it wasn’t like I had time to coddle him.

At my sarcastic words he seemed to shake himself, rolling to his feet and stumbling behind me, just as the shadow creature pounced.

SMACK! The branch connected solidly with the creature’s head, the wood sinking into the shadow for the briefest moment before the monster was thrown back into a tree.

It growled softly, getting back to its feet. A slow trickle of blue blood ran from the wound, floating in the air and dissipating into nothingness.

“Bad shadow wolf! Go back to your home!” I held up the stick again, groaning. “Where’s a spray bottle when you need it?”

Before I could bemoan my lack of canine training tools, the creature lifted its head, seeming to hear some silent call. It pointed its jaws to the sky letting out an eerie howl, before leaping into the air and disappearing, leaving only the wreckage and dead plants as evidence that it had ever been there.

I sighed with relief, turning to the child behind me. “Are you okay?”

“You… you drove it off!” His eyes were wide with shock. “You saved me!”

“No big deal…”

“It was so scary.” He clenched his fists. “I was too weak. I couldn’t do anything.”

“Um… I wouldn’t really worry about…” Sensing a character development monologue coming, I desperately tried to interrupt.

He picked up a branch swinging it in the air with a fierce expression. “I swear on the graves of my parents, I will become stronger, someone who can defend the weak!” Looking over at me, he added. “You won’t have to worry anymore, I’ll protect you.”

“Weak? Seriously did you not just see me beat it up…”

“After all, I owe you my life.” He reached over and grabbed my hand enthusiastically. “So I’ll stay by your side until my debt is repaid.”

Uh oh. Adorable elf boy, dead parents, attacked by monsters and vows to grow stronger?  My male lead senses are tingling. Better get away.

I smiled blandly, pulling my hand out of his grasp. “I was saving my own skin. You don’t owe me anything.”

“I do!” He put his hand to his heart and bowed. “I am K’lliean.”

There was an awkward silence.

Crap! I haven’t gotten the mission or the character’s memories yet. Well last time they let me rename my character… here’s hoping.

“My name is Blaire.”

“Belaire?”

Bright blue words formed in the air beside me.

You have chosen to select the character name “Belaire” All characters’ memories will be adjusted accordingly.

**** Confirm character name? ****

Slightly off… but … “Sure.”

Character name confirmed.

I stayed calm, even with the scrolling text in the sky that only I could see. This had happened before, in story worlds where a cellphones didn’t exist. The text simply appeared on the sky, responding to voice instead of typing.

Now that K’lliean’s memories had been properly adjusted, he had backed away, a look of disgust on his face.

“Stay away from me, you… you…” He glared at me. “Stupid girl!”

“How will I ever recover from that insult?” I held a hand up to my head. “But sure, I’m fine staying far away from you.” Always safer to not hang around the male lead type too much.

“I’m NEVER going to marry you, so don’t even think about it.”

“…” I shrugged. “Ok.” I’m already hating this plot, and I don’t even know it yet.

“I’m going to be a great warrior one day! I’m not some HELPER for a stupid priestess!”

“No one’s arguing with you, dude. Go live your life.”

K’llean stared at me for a few moments, and then looked away suddenly. “I mean… if you REALLY want to marry me, I’ll let you stay by my side.”

“Literally never asked for that.”

“But don’t forget that I don’t like you! I’m only marrying you to help save the forest.”

What in the world is this plot?!!!

I rubbed my forehead, a headache forming. “Don’t worry about it, kid. I’m sure there are other alternatives besides matrimony to save the forest. I’ll figure it out.”

“SHUT UP!” K’llean stomped his foot. “I’ll save this forest, and I won’t need the help from a stupid girl like you!” With that he ran off, leaving me behind to stare at his back in shock.

“Knew the trend of reasonable male leads wouldn’t last.” With a chuckle, I sat down with my back against an enormous tree trunk and spoke to the air around me. “Open mission.”

Words began forming in the air in front of me.

**** NEW WORLD: THE CHOSEN ONE ****

This world is an incomplete epic fantasy novel, centering on the heroine Stella. Stella was an average 21-year-old college student, until she was transported into a world of fantasy, swords and magic. Learning that her arrival was predicted by prophecy, and that she is the Chosen One who must save the world, she harnesses her newfound magical abilities and goes on a epic quest to defeat the Lord of Darkness.

“So far so good. Maybe she’ll be a fun heroine like last time…”

During her journey, Stella falls in love with a elven warrior named K’llean.

“CALLED IT! He’s totally the male lead!” I high fived myself, and then felt embarrassed at the lonely gesture.

K’llean returned her feelings, however, he was already married to the elven priestess, who was tasked with saving the forest by combining their light magic abilities. The high priestess, hurt by K’llean’s betrayal, initially tried to send away Stella, but instead, in a terrible battle against the dark forces, chose to sacrifice herself to save the Chosen One’s life.

“I have a bad feeling about that priestess character.”

This story was discontinued after the author quit the story, fed up with complaints from the readers. There was a huge backlash at the story’s treatment of the elven priestess, a fan favorite character. Additionally, very few readers supported the romance subplot between Stella and K’llean, given that it began in earnest while K’llean was still married. There was general complaint that Stella and K’llean never received any consequence for their betrayal of the loyal priestess, and that her death was simply to pave the way for the “Chosen One.”  The story world was abandoned and left to be destroyed.

The author’s main regret is the sad fate of the elven priestess. To complete their wish and stabilize this world, please allow the elven priestess to live a long, happy life. For this mission to succeed, the world must still be saved from the Lord of Darkness without sacrificing the life of the priestess.

**** DO YOU ACCEPT THIS MISSION?****

“…” I stared at the words thoughtfully. “So I just have to find this priestess and make sure she doesn’t get married to the cheating idiot and lives happily without sacrificing her life for them?” My eyes narrowed. “I feel like there’s gotta be a catch. What if I say ‘no’?”

**** DO YOU ACCEPT THIS MISSION?****

The words appeared again. I wasn’t surprised. There was only ever one option.

“Yes.”

My brain was filled with a flood of information, foreign knowledge, memories and emotions belonging to my character. I closed my eyes, groaning with pain, my fist hitting the ground beside me over and over until the skin split, my blood staining the leaves and grass.

“Well… this sucks.” I knew there was going to be a catch, but when I figured it out, all I could do was smile bitterly at my new identity.I should have guessed.

I was the elven priestess.

_________________________

I leaned my head against the tree trunk, sorting through the new information, the rough bark digging into my scalp. A slow trickle of tears overflowed from my closed eyes, as I fought back the emotions that weren’t my own.

The priestess had truly loved K’llean.

She had known from an early age that she was to be a priestess. Her strong light magic, tested from birth, left her with no choice but to serve her people. Part of that role required her to marry an elf with strong magic, combining their powers to allow the forest to be protected. K’llean was one of many young elves that had been approved as a potential partner.

They met in a similar way that I had just experienced, with her saving his life from a shadow beast. From that moment on, they had spent every waking moment together, growing up side by side. And on the night of her adult ceremony at the age of eighteen, she had chosen him without hesitation.

I could feel her memories, of K’llean watching her with a loving gaze.

“I’ll stand by your side, even if no one else does. Forever.”

She had believed him, whole heartedly.

But he was the male lead, so his love, his true love, was only ever given to the heroine.

The Chosen One.

This world was made for her, for her happiness.

How could one priestess stand against it? 

When she found them together… she tried to protest, tried to remind him of the love they had shared. But in the end, Stella had everything. Her people’s trust. Her husband’s love. Even her mission, to save the forest, the one she had trained her whole life to fulfill, had been handed over so easily.

She had nothing.

When she burned through her life force in the battle against the darkness, fueling a magic powerful enough to drive to out the dark creatures and purify the forest, she had felt nothing but a weary resignation.

She had fulfilled her task, protected her people.

But she had not left happily.

I covered my face with my hands, sobbing loudly with a pain I hadn’t experienced, but had become my own. It took some time, but eventually the storm passed. My throat was sore, my eyes sore, but my emotions slowly calmed down.

“I give you…us… a happy life.” I felt a sense of completeness at the words, a almost inaudible relieved sigh in my ear.

Shaking my head, I stood up, stretching with a groan. According to my memories, this character should be about eight years old.

I had already met K’llean. It was probably for the best. If I had the memories I had now, I might not have saved him, child or no.

His cold, careless eyes as he watched his wife sacrifice her life to protect his lover and himself was still fixed firmly in my mind. I wasn’t too happy about it.

The main issue was that I needed to be able to protect the forest, and that would be difficult to accomplish without either burning up my life force or combining my magic with another light magic elf… and K’llean had the strongest magic.

No way in hell am I marrying that guy. My thoughts strayed briefly to the man who had planned our wedding in the last world, wondering if I would see him again, before I reigned them in firmly.  So I just need to be powerful enough that I don’t need the cheater’s help. He can run off and romance the heroine to his heart’s content. I’m going to be the greatest light magic wielder this world has ever seen!

I rubbed my hands together, feeling excited. This was my first magic world, and I was starting out as a child, meaning I got to learn from the start. Elves in this world aged similarly to humans, which gave me about 10 years to prepare for the large scale battle against the darkness. Magic lessons should begin at age ten, but it shouldn’t be too hard to get them to start early.

Magical powers, here I come! 

A villainous laugh filled the air, completely out of place in the beautiful elven forest.

_________________________

“You’re too young.” The Elven leader’s lined face showed his concern as he shook his head at me. “It’s good to be eager, but you should enjoy the freedom and childhood you have before you’re forced to spend all your time studying.”

I glanced off to the side, where a group of elven children were playing. K’llean could be seen in the middle of the group, swinging a branch, screaming at the top of his lungs.

“I’M THE GREATEST!”

Spare me a childhood with him.I smiled at the elder. “It is my duty, and my joy to work hard for the sake of our people. I have a sense that I need to start early to be able to protect our forest.”

The leader eyed me suspiciously. “You were given a prophecy?”

I kept my smile firmly in place. “Sure.” It’s not completely a lie. In a way, I do know what the future holds.“If I’m not powerful enough by the time I reach adulthood. I will die, and the forest will be in grave danger.”

No need to mention the Chosen One for now. Don’t want them skimping on the training resources.

I struggled to keep my thoughts from showing on my face. The elder had been one of many who had supported my character whole-heartedly... at least until the heroine had shown up. Then he had cast her aside just as quickly. 

While still expecting her to be willing to die to protect him and his people.

This life will be different from hers. I’ll give them no choice but to want to stay on my good side.

Perhaps something in my tone or my gaze convinced the older elf. He sighed quietly, patting my head. “Very well. I hope you don’t regret this decision. Once you start, you can’t quit halfway, even if you want to go out and play with the other children.”

I again looked off at the group of young elves. K’llean was squatting over a boy he had just knocked down, farting in the other child’s face while yelling. “YIELD TO THE MIGHTY ELVEN WARRIOR!”

I turned back to the elder. “I am so sure. You have no idea how sure I am.”

“Then let’s begin.”

[i-am-church-the-cat]

Good To Sea You Again

Hi @thomas-gaypanic-lightwood! I’m your person for the Willex gift exchange week. You said you liked Willix, Juke, and Flarrie as well as enemies to lovers and fake dating so I tried to do a little bit of both for Flarrie with background Willex. It didn’t have as much Willex as I wanted though, so the second part of your gift is in the reblog. I hope you like it! - WC: 4292 Pairing: Flarrie (background Willex) Summary: Flynn and Carrie are trying to help their best friend propose to his boyfriend on a cruise. Only, it’s a couples cruise...  -

Flynn looked around as she broke her muffin into little pieces. Alex had asked her to meet her at a cafe so that she could ask her something. And when her best friend’s boyfriend asked her for a favor, the least she could do was listen to him. Okay, so maybe Alex had known Willie first. And introduced him to Flynn. But which one of them skated with him every Thursday since they were seventeen? Julie would always be Flynn’s bffl, but when she had gone to Julliard for college and Flynn stayed in LA, she had to find other people to hang out with. Most notably, her childhood best friend’s band mate’s epic skater boyfriend. She heard the door open and turned, waving at the blond man who came through the door. Her smile fell when she saw who was following in after him, though. Carrie Wilson had been Juli’s best friend before she dropped her in high school. She had never been nice to Flynn or Julie, but when the boys had transferred school their senior year, the connection between her and Alex was instant. Julie and Carrie had made up but Flynn had ever seen eye-to-eye with her. They tolerated each other’s presence for their friends’ sake, but they weren’t making friendship bracelets anytime soon. “Hey!” Alex greeted, dropping into the seat across from her. Carrie pulled up a chair while they situated the absorbent amount of bags they were both holding. “Sorry we’re late.” “Don’t worry about it, I haven’t been here long,” she eyed their stuff before returning her smile to her face. “What were you two up to?” “Getting ready. Lots of stuff to do before the wedding,” Carrie explains, settling in her chair. Flynn frowned in confusion as Alex hissed Carrie’s name. That was all she needed for it to click. “Oh my god, Willie proposed to you?! Why didn’t he tell me? Why wasn’t I involved? Why am I-” “No no no,” Alex waved his hands to get her to stop. “Willie didn’t propose to me, I’m trying to propose to him.” She blinks, getting hit with emotional whiplash as she relaxes. “Oh. Wait, are you asking my permission?” Carrie snorted (Flynn wished she could say unattractively but she’s been gorgeous every day of their lives) and Alex ignored her. “No, I’m asking for your help.” “Aw, dude!” She grinned and leaned forward to take his hand. “Of course, I’ll help. You two are my OTP.” “I thought Luke and Julie were your OTP?” Flynn waved his words away. The two had been on and off since high school and while she had no doubt they would find each other in the end, Wille and Alex took priority. “Doesn’t matter, tell me what you’re thinking and how I can help. Also, why is Carrie here?” “I’m the best woman,” the blonde said smugly. Flynn just blinked at her. “There’s no wedding yet.” Carrie rolled her eyes. “Fine, then I’m helping my best friend get engaged. Does it matter?” Flynn wanted to argue that yes, it did matter, but a look from Alex kept her silent. She shrugged and then focused back on her friend. Her questions still needed answers after all. Alex looked between them, waiting for them to be done before smiling at Flynn. “Right, so there’s this cruise Willie’s always wanted to go on.” “The Alaska cruise.” “Yeah,” Alex shivered. “I don’t know why but he does. And I found a couple’s cruise that goes there and I told them what I want to do and they’re going to help me set it up.”

Flynn frowned. “Alright, cool… what do you need me for?” Alex looked expectant if a little nervous. “I need you and Carrie to distract Willie so that he doesn’t find out before the end of the two-week cruise.” Two weeks? That would be a little tight but they could probably swing it. Flynn happened to know first hand that Carrie was very good at espionage when she wanted to be. They could definitely do it. “But wait,” Flynn frowned and looked between the two. “Carrie and I are both single, we can’t go on a couple’s cruise.” Carrie rolled her eyes as if Flynn was missing something (and she was starting to feel like maybe she was). “Isn’t it obvious? The two of us will pretend to be a couple.” Flynn just stared at her until Carrie snapped her fingers in front of her face. “I’m sorry, did you just say a couple?” “Yep,” she assured, accentuating the p with a pop of her gum. “And.. you’re okay with that?” Carrie rolled her eyes. “I don’t know if you noticed, but I got over the internalized homophobia thing back in high school.” She shook her head. “No no, just. Me? Really?” “Yes, Flynn,” the blonde sighs. “If it’s for my friends, I’ll even date you.” “So you’ll do it?” Alex asked before the two could start trading insults. Flynn crossed her arms and looked between the two. Pretending to be dating Carrie Wilson wouldn’t exactly be fun for her. But… It was her best friends. “Yeah, yeah, I’ll do it,” she sighed with a grin. “But this proposal better be awesome.” “Oh, it is,” Alex assured. The woman relaxed as her friend regaled her with his plans to propose. And if she had a hard time keeping her eyes off of her “girlfriend”. Well, she was just getting ready for the trip. - “I can’t believe you two were dating and you didn’t tell me!” Willie said as he and Flynn walked back from the skate park. The cruise left in a week and Flynn was using all her spare time to help get ready for it- and keep Willie in the dark. She and Carrie had decided on a cover story a few days ago, and it was only yesterday that Alex told Willie about the trip. “Yeah, it was a shock to me too,” she agreed, forcing a laugh. “Wait, but how did it even happen? I thought you two hated each other?” “We don’t hate each other…” Flynn started to explain, remembering the conversation she and Carrie had the other day. `So what, we’re going to go from hating each other to dating just like that?’ Carrie rolled her eyes but Flynn was used to it by now. People always seemed to miss that the important questions were sometimes the most obvious ones. ‘I’ve never hated you, Flynn.’ She scoffed at that. ‘Seriously, I haven’t! We disagreed but I didn’t hate you…’ Flynn watched her and was surprised to find that she looked sincere. And Flynn knew when she looked sincere. Carrie was a good actress but not that good. Well, at least there’s that. She sighed. ‘Fine. But how did we get together?’ “It was so weird, honestly. You know that blind date Georgia, my coworker, sent me on?” At Willie’s nod, she continued. “She was the blind date.” Not really. Her blind date had never shown and Flynn had gone home and ate brownies all night but whatever. It worked in their favor. “Wow, really?” Willie laughed. “Small world.” “That’s exactly what I thought. Anyway, dinner was already paid for so we both just decided to stay. We ended up having fun. I guess dates are better when you already know the person you’re dating.” Willie hummed in agreement then hit her lightly with the back of his hand. “And hey, now you can do fun stuff like this with me and Alex. My best friend’s girlfriend just happens to be my boyfriend’s best friend. It’s kind of perfect.” Flynn smiles but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “Yeah, it kind of is, isn’t it?” But it isn’t real, her brain reminds her. It never would be. Willie grins and nudges her again before his eyes lit up. “Hey, race ya to the convenience store.” He put his board down and hopped on, speeding off. Flynn grinned and was quick to follow him. They raced around people down the block. Even at almost 28, they knew how to goof off just enough to enjoy life. Flynn never felt bad around Willie. He was a genuinely nice guy and he always knew how to lift her spirits. That’s why he deserved this, an epic proposal from the love of his life with the help of his friends. Flynn would do anything to give him that, even pretend to date Carrie Wilson. - So, Flynn had something to admit. She’d never been on a cruise before. Even growing up less than an hour away from the beach, it was just not something she had ever wanted to do. She was confused when they explained they would have to fly up to Anchorage to even board the boat. But after learning it would take almost 5 weeks to sail from LA to Alaska, she was more than happy to pay the cost. Carrie and Flynn flew up a day before Alex and Willie. Something about Carrie needing to get over the time difference but Alaska was just an hour behind California so Flynn was pretty sure that was a lie. Either way, it let them practice their roles before the cruise and that’s what Flynn was going to do. “Here I can get that,” Flynn said, smiling at Carrie as she took her bag and placed it in the overhead bin. The blonde looked bewildered at her attitude. She’d been doing that all day and Flynn would clue her in, but it was more fun to watch her be confused. The best part was when the flight attendant came to check on them though. They had first-class seats - thank you, Carrie’s dad - so there was plenty of room between them. “Hi, Miss Wilson?” At Carrie’s nod, the attendant continued. “We hope you enjoy your flight. If you and your…” When she trailed off, Flynn grinned and pointedly reached across the console to take Carrie’s hand. “Girlfriend.” The attendant smiled and nodded. “If you and your girlfriend need anything, please let us know.” Flynn was honestly impressed at Carrie’s ability to keep her composure. She just nodded and thanked her. It wasn’t until she had walked away did the blonde whip around to look at her, looking honestly baffled. “What did you say that for?” She hissed, taking her hand back. Flynn grinned and shrugged. “We’re supposed to be pretending to date each other right? Why not start now?” Carrie looked at her weirdly before eventually nodding and sitting back in her seat. The rest of the flight was uneventful, but Carrie took her out to dinner as soon as they landed. They held hands and flirted and fought over who would pay the bill - Carrie won. Honestly, Flynn would be fooled if she was watching all of this. Carrie was a very good fake girlfriend. Or, you know. Real girlfriend too. When they got to the hotel, they found out that their reservation had accidentally been put as one king-sized bed. Carrie nodded and said that was fine. At the look Flynn gave her, she shrugged. “We’re going to be sharing a bed for a week on the boat. What’s one more night?” Flynn couldn’t shake how fast her heart was beating as she followed the blonde to the elevator. They stood in awkward silence until they reached their floor. Carrie led the way once again and unlocked their room with her key card. The room was gorgeous, as was the rest of the hotel. There was something to be said about traveling with Carrie Wilson. You travel in style. “Do you want the right side or the left side?” Carrie asked, glancing at her. “Ummm. I’ll take the side closer to the windows, you take the side closer to the bathroom?” Carrie agreed and they got their stuff situated. Flynn flopped onto the bed with a sigh, feeling exhausted from their flight. She could probably pass out for the next sixteen hours and have to race to get the boat on time. The blonde shook her head at her. “I’m going to take a shower, should I save you some hot water?” “Nah you take it,” Flynn said, kicking her shoes off. “I’ll probably be out by the time you get back.” Carrie nodded and disappeared into the bathroom. Flynn hadn’t been lying when she said she would probably pass out within minutes. But for some reason, she just couldn’t relax enough to fall asleep. She was staring at the closed curtains when the bathroom door re-opened and the other woman slipped into the bed. The silence grew between them as the minutes ticked by. Flynn knew Carrie wasn’t asleep because her breathing was too fast. Eventually, the silence got to be too much for her, and she turned over. Carrie was facing the other way but after a few moments of Flynn staring at her back, she turned over, too. “Should we talk about this?” Flynn finally asked. Carrie didn’t look surprised. “We already talked about this.” “Yeah but it’s. Different. Now that we’re actually doing it.” Carrie nodded. “It is a little weird isn’t it? To go from nothing to… pretending to be something?” “Yeah.” Flynn sighs and stretches out on the bed. “But… we don’t have to.” Carrie blinked then frowned at her. “What?” “We don’t have to go from nothing. We can be... friends. Right?” Carrie nodded. “I’d like that. To be your friend.” Flynn smiled. “Me too.” “Alright then,” the blonde sighed. “Friends it is.” Flynn stuck her pinkie out. Carrie snorted but dutifully wrapped her pinkie around Flynn’s. “Friends,” Flynn agreed. She fell asleep almost instantly after that. - The boat was beautiful. And a little crowded but mostly beautiful. Carrie had planned tons of activities for them all, and a few for just Alex and Willie, or, when Alex needed to go talk to someone about the proposal, Willie and Flynn. Flynn barely had a second to herself the first few days. She enjoyed helping out but… planning a proposal was a lot apparently. Carrie didn’t exactly make it better. Not about the proposal. With that, she was great, she knew exactly what she wanted and how to make it happen. It made Flynn imagine what she would be like planning her own engagement or wedding. And that was the problem. The more time the two spent together and around all this stuff, the more Flynn thought about it being real. And she liked those thoughts. It was getting way too close to things she wasn’t ready to acknowledge, may never be able to acknowledge. “Hey, what are you doing here?” Flynn looked up from where she was trailing her legs through the water. She was sitting on the edge of her pool, getting a break from all the planning and scheming and girlfriend-ing. She was not expecting to be found by the woman she was trying to avoid. “Uh, I was just… getting some sun.” Carrie sighed as she sat down next to Flynn, closer than she normally would. But, girlfriends. They were girlfriends right now. She stuck her bare legs in the water and tilted her head back. “The boys are getting facials. I was tasked with coming to find you since no one knew where you were.” “Sorry…” Flynn mumbled, looking back at the water. Carrie nudged her. “Don’t worry about it. Is everything okay?” Flynn nodded before she could change her mind. “Yeah yeah, just needed a second.” “Oh,” Carrie blinked, pinking up distractingly. “Oh, right, I can just get out of your-” “No, no, it’s okay,” Flynn assured, reaching out to grab her hand. “You can stay. I want you here.” And she meant it too. Sure, she had been avoiding her, but only because she made it hard to pretend. But now that she was here, Flynn was hit with how much she wanted to be in the other woman’s company. Carrie smiled softly and settled back down. “Alright then. I’ll stay.” “Great,” Flynn smiled at her and the two looked at each other for a while before turning back to the pool. They talked quietly for the rest of the afternoon until the sun started to dip below the horizon and they had to go meet the boys for dinner. Flynn wished they could have stayed there forever. - The longer the week wore on, the harder it was to admit that Flynn didn’t like Carrie. She was loud and passionate in the best way (some would say a lot like Flynn herself) and she knew how to get what she wanted. That was clear when she had stolen some drinks from the bar in the middle of the night and convinced Flynn to drink them on the deck with her under the stars. It had been fun. Very intimate. She had to keep reminding herself it wasn’t a date even as the memory of Carrie’s eyes shining in the starlight replayed in her head. Yeah, she was most definitely screwed. Tonight was the second to last night on the ship. They would be home the day after tomorrow, Willie and Alex would be happily engaged, and they could stop pretending. Go back to their normal lives. As if Flynn even knew what that meant anymore. “What are you thinking about?” Willie asked as he leaned against the rail next to her. They were on the balcony, looking down at the main deck where Carrie and Alex and a few others were dancing. “Oh, you know,” Flynn sighed. “The future.” Willie looked between her and Carrie and grinned. “The future huh?” Flynn knew what he was thinking and she was surprised with how much she wanted his assumption to be true. She forced a smile and nodded. “Yep. What about you?” “I was thinking…” Willie grinned. “That we should go dance with our beautiful partners.” She laughed and pushed off of the railing. “You read my mind, Will.” He grinned and nudged her before heading down the stairs, Flynn on his heels. She smiled as he pulled Alex into a smooth dip and kiss. She could admit that the man definitely had moves. “Hey,” came a soft voice. Flynn smiled and turned to Carrie. They smiled at each other for a moment before Flynn extended her hand. Carrie took it and they began to sway together. The music was soft and light, easy to dance to. They didn’t talk as they danced. Just relaxed and enjoyed the music, moving along with the ship, and each other’s company. It was cozy in a way Flynn knew she was going to miss later. But for now, she let herself have it. They danced through a few songs and she almost jumped when Carrie spoke again. “Do you want to get out of here?” She asked tentatively. Flynn never knew her to be tentative in anything. She nodded and the two started walking back to their cabin. They walked in silence most of the way but Flynn could feel the tension in the air. She was just waiting for Carrie to say something. The brunette was paying close enough attention to stop at the same time as the other woman. She waited patiently - for maybe the first time in her life - as Carrie collected herself. “I was the blind date.” Flynn frowned. That was not what she was expecting to hear at all, especially because it made no sense. But Carrie was looking more anxious than she had ever known the other woman to be, so she tried her best to answer. “Yeah, that was our story right?” Carrie shook her head. “No- I mean yes, it was, but it wasn’t just a story. I was your blind date. I- I stood you up.” Okay, now she was definitely confused. Why was she telling her this now? “So what? You decided to leave instead of just tell me you weren’t interested? That’s not exactly new information.” “I- What, no?” Carrie looked genuinely surprised. “I decided to leave because I knew you would hate seeing me.” Flynn scoffed. “I would not have-” “You’ve glared at me every time I’ve walked into a room for the last eleven years!” “Not every time,” she disagrees. The blonde’s scoff/laugh grates on her nerves and she draws herself up. “Yeah, well, so what? It’s not like you were interested in dating me either.” “I tried to ask you to prom senior year!” Record scratch. Excuse me? “What? No, you didn’t!” Carrie looked at her triumphantly but also a little bitterly. “Oh yes, I did. But the second I came up to you, you insulted me.” “When did I…” Flynn inhaled quickly. She did remember Carrie coming up to her a few weeks before prom. She hadn’t even let her talk, just said something about not voting for her for prom queen. Carrie hadn’t even responded, just nodded as if she had known it all along and walked off. Flynn always thought that was weird but it was ten years ago. She blinked at the blonde, shock and horror warring for dominance in her head. “Carrie, I didn’t…” “It’s fine,” she said tossing her hair back. It didn’t sound fine, that’s for sure. “I knew you never felt the same way.” No. No no no no, this couldn’t be happening. Carrie had to know that she was wrong; she had to know that Flynn felt the same way. Before she could overthink it, she stepped forward and pulled the other woman down into a kiss. Carrie gasped softly and Flynn pressed closer, tried to show her how she felt. The blonde’s hands came to rest on her waist and she leaned into it and then… then… And then Carrie was pulling away. She brought a hand up between them and shook her head. Flynn wanted to protest, ask what was wrong, but Carrie just looked so sad. “Don’t,” came so softly, Flynn almost thought she imagined it. Then she was turning around and striding back down the corridor, leaving Flynn a few feet away from their door. She brought a hand up to her lips as she slumped against the wall. Even with her lips still tingling from the kiss, she couldn’t shake the feeling that her heart was breaking before her eyes. Carrie didn’t come back to the room that night. Flynn couldn’t fall asleep.  - Carrie ignored her all through breakfast the next morning. Her bag was packed by the time Flynn came back to the room and they had nothing planned on the ship so no one came to get them. She didn’t get a chance to talk with her until they were setting up the main deck for the proposal. “Balloons.” “Check.” “Champagne.” “Check.” “Live preservers.” Flynn huffed. They had already gone through this list twice. “Check, Carrie, will you please-” “It’s almost time for the proposal, Flynn, I don’t know what you want me to do,” the blonde brushed her aside, not looking up from her clipboard. “I want you to talk to me.” “I am talking to you.” “Not like-” she growled in frustration and stole Carrie’s clipboard. She looked up, a protest on her lips, but the shorter woman stuck a finger in her face. “No, we are talking about this, Wilson.” Carrie seemed to deflate. She crossed her arms defensively and let out a small huff. “Fine, you want to talk? Let’s talk. Let’s talk about how you haven’t given me the time of day in almost eleven years.” “Oh yeah? Well, let’s also talk about how you’ve liked me for ten of those!” “I didn’t-” she bit off the end of her sentence. She pointed at Flynn. “I was over you, okay? Over you. And then you had to come in and hold my hand and be nice to me and call me your girlfriend and it hurt, okay? It hurt because it was everything I had wanted in high school being dangled in front of me with the knowledge that it would all be ripped away once we ended this. Okay, so maybe I got a little heated but I didn’t want to be strung along.” Flynn felt like she had been slapped. She never could have imagined making anyone feel like this. And- and Carrie? Flynn never considered being more than a blip on her radar. “Strung along? What are you talking about?” Carrie snorted. “Please, you’ve never been shy about how you felt about me. You just got caught up in all the emotions this week.” “Is that what you think?” Flynn asked, incredulous. Carrie shrugged. “Carrie Wilson, I’ve had a crush on you since middle school.” The blonde looked as shocked as she felt. “What? No, you haven’t.” “Yes, I have! And then you stopped hanging out with Julie and started being cold to us and I thought ‘well, the pretty ones are always like that’. But then you apologized and got better but I still thought you hated me. So I thought I would do my best to ignore you right back.” “So… so,” for once in her life, it looked like Carrie was speechless. “So I never hated you,” Flynn chewed on her lip. “And you never hated me?” Carrie shook her head slowly. “So what does… what does that mean?” “It means,” Flynn took a deep breath and held out her hand. “Carrie Wilson, after this cruise, would you like to go on a date with me?” The other woman beamed and took her hand. “Yes. I would.” - It was a beautiful proposal. Willie of course said yes. And Flynn got to see it all, with Carrie’s hand in hers.

[sodone-withlife]

it's a sad song

heavily inspired by Hadestown, will feature lyrics from How Long? and Epic III. thanks to @yourlocalheartbreaker for indulging me and my rants about how much i love this musical

the musical's interpretation of Hades and Persephone's story is perfect for Hotch and Haley, so here is the self-indulgent cliche songfic. as usual, i did little to no proofreading so apologies for any grammatical/spelling errors. it's also more choppy than i'd like, but i really wanted to get it out so i can force myself to work on another angsty Hotch fic

warnings: canonical character death, non-canon character death, suicide

word count: 4k words

(And what has become of the heart of that man, now that the man is king? What has become of the heart of that man, now that he has everything?)

In the grand scheme of things, Hotch was lucky. He was further away from the bomb when it went off and only needed a day and a half in the hospital before he was back at the field office, taking the reins in handling the press and brass that was ready to tear Gideon apart.

The inquisition that followed in Virginia was vicious and by the end, Gideon was on indefinite medical leave and the unit was under the brass’s close scrutiny as Hotch took charge of the unit. As much as the word “temporary” was being parroted around in regards to the new chain of command, it was tacit knowledge that it was a permanent arrangement. A fiasco on the scale of Boston was enough to get an agent fired, and it was only Gideon’s seniority and excellent record that kept him with the bureau.

For Hotch, Boston and the months following only reinforced three lessons that were already hardwired into his brain:

Do not break and do not allow yourself to bleed where others can see, for there are always sharks waiting to tear you apart.

(Give them a piece and they'll take it all Show them a crack and they'll tear down the wall)

Nothing is certain. Even the strongest, the smartest, the most experienced, can fail. Do not fall victim to your own hubris, for it will be your undoing.

(Lend them an ear and the Kingdom will fall The Kingdom will fall for a song)

Death awaits everyone. It takes without mercy or regard for the lives left behind.

He was the new face of the BAU within the bureau, and even his prosecutorial and investigative record could not help protect the team from scrutiny.

So he straightened his spine and hardened his already severely sharp features, throwing himself into work and restoring the unit’s reputation.

Then Hotch came home one day to Haley’s brilliant smile and delighted excitement, and for a moment, he was reminded of the first time he talked to her nearly twenty years ago, when he told her he was quitting his smoking habit.

He had frozen when she first approached him in his dark corner a few weeks after school had resumed in the fall. She had smiled amusedly, his social ineptitude clear as day as he struggled to find words to greet her, to apologize for seeming like a creep over the summer when he first saw her outside on the sports field coaching younger students through vocal warmups before they started rehearsing the musical that was being put on that year, only to completely blank she plopped herself down next to him with her own school bag and lunch.

By the end of that day, he had convinced himself it was only going to be a one-off thing, that she wasn’t going to come back. If he had been honest with himself, part of him, the part that knew so intimately that his mother’s skin only remained free from bruises after his innocent baby brother was born was because his damned father finally had a son he could look at without being reminded of his self-hatred, wished it was.

But then she came back the next day, the day after that, and the day after that, apparently content to sit beside him in silence only broken by periodic comments about the going-ons in her life and the musical. And she continued going to sit next to him, even as he watched as others tried to warn her away, tried to physically guide her away from the bleachers.

What was stranger, he thought, was that she stayed even in spite of his silence, and in spite of his vices—he could tell she didn’t like his habit, but she didn’t comment. She just kept him company.

It was a few weeks into this arrangement, when he saw his still mostly full pack, that he realized that he hadn’t itched for a smoke during lunch for weeks, not while she was there and talking to him in ways he’d never been talked to before.

Sometime later, as the number of cigarettes in the pack remained unchanging, as the pack itself went untouched in his schoolbag, he finally threw it away.

That was the first time Hotch talked to her, to tell her that he’s giving up the habit. That small, but no less proud or bright, smile that spread across her face, he decided, was something he wanted to see again.

Slowly, he started talking more, and on good days, the two made conversation on topics ranging from classes to their favorite books all the way to whatever shenanigans Sean or Jessica was getting into. On other days, on bad days, the silence was never awkward, and she simply kept him company as he struggled to control the storm in his mind.

Those were the days his fingers itched for a cigarette, and those were the days she introduced to him a new book that he would finish within the day. The next day at school, they would once again be stuck in an in-depth conversation about the characters’ flaws and the absurdities of the antagonists, and the itch would be gone.

And it went on like this, even after he threw all caution and his doubts to the wind and asked her out on the first day of their senior year, even as they faced the townspeople’s questions about why such a good girl like Haley Brooks was dating someone of the likes of Aaron Hotchner, who, despite being so coldly brilliant, was just that.

Cold.

Dangerously unfeeling.

Barely human.

But she had seen behind the facade and she knew that he loved with the fierce burning of a thousand suns. She knew how terrified he was of losing everything, that he would be left alone and floundering in a world that was not kind to the lost.

So she stayed, through college, as she went into teaching and him into law, as the final straw came and went and he registered for the Academy and started training, breaking records along the way before finally being assigned to Seattle and quickly climbed his way up the ranks until he caught David Rossi’s keen eye and transferred back to Virginia for the BAU.

Every night, Hotch came home to his wife, the light of his life, and was reminded of why he was working himself to the bone. That day, when he came home a month after Boston for Haley to press a simple rectangular box into his hands, the stakes were raised once again, and he knew he had to fight twice as hard.

Not only for his team, the people he protected so fiercely under that steel mask, but for his son.

Early mornings and late nights became the norm as he threw himself into more and more work, and slowly, the unit began to recover as Spencer Reid and Jennifer Jareau joined the expanding unit, as Gideon returned as a senior agent, and as Elle Greenaway was pulled from Seattle just like he was all those years ago.

Then Jack was born, and he used his accrued vacation time to finally take a month off. Never had he been more terrified than in the moment he first held his son in the delivery room, acutely aware of his tiny size and sheer vulnerability to the dangers of the world.

That night, sleeping in the hospital bed with an exhausted Haley and their child in his arms, he swore to do whatever he could to make the world safer for his family.

His world.

So he tried. He tried and he tried, forcing himself to leave when cases that required their presence in the field came in, forcing himself to take on the heaviest burdens of the job so his team might be protected and his family would be safe.

Maybe a part of him was trying to get him to stop in his tracks and look up, to take a moment so he could clearly see that he was being consumed by the chase.

Maybe if he was strong enough, he could have lifted the weight of his world just enough to change the direction he was going.

But he was scared.

Scared that the moment he looked up, the moment he let go, he would lose everything he was defending.

And so he did not stop—not as Elle was shot in one place she had a right to feel safe in, not as Elle resigned and prevented him from making a terrible choice, not at Reid was suffering in a hell that could only be created by the lure of potent drugs, not as the unit was once again put under scrutiny because of her and Gideon’s actions.

Not even as he was forgetting important appointments, as he was struggling to be present for the important events and early milestones in his son’s life.

Not until he was suspended for two weeks because of the vow he made to himself the moment he stepped into the leadership position to protect the team to the best of his ability.

He stopped, looked up, and put in for a transfer.

But it was too late.

(It's true the earth must die But then the earth comes back to life And the sun just goes on rising)

(I’ve had enough)

The divorce did nothing to lessen the weight on his shoulders or the utter terror he felt at the prospect of stopping.

As more and more cases started piling on his desk, he kept his back bent and head down for hours as he pushed himself to the brink with a mental image of the smile that had not dimmed for twenty years and of the only proof of his humanity at the forefront of his mind.

Every day, he bent lower and lower, but he never let himself crumble, forcing himself to remain Atlas as Kate fell and Morgan nearly followed in New York, Reid and Prentiss in Colorado—

—as JJ and Will brought their first child into the world and he promised to protect her as best as he could so she would not make the same mistakes he did—

—as he wrangled politicians and major corporations in the aftermath of him fulfilling the promise he made to Megan Kane—

—as he called in favor after favor to get to the Vatican so Prentiss could get justice for her friends—

—as he compartmentalized as best he could when he found out about the anthrax attack at a public park he knew Haley and Jack frequented whenever they visit her parents’ house and when Reid got infected—

Then the Reaper returned after ten years of silence and ten years of being a silent spectator in Hotch’s nightmares to become an active participant in his night terrors for months.

But the night Hotch returned to his apartment with the intent of pulling out a glass of scotch and staying on his couch with a book, those dreams that left him nearly paralyzed with fear every night became his reality.

That night, as his team was sleeping in their beds, dead to the world while he was slowly bleeding out from nine stab wounds and floating in and out of consciousness in his own apartment, he only felt fear—fear for the team, fear for Haley, fear for his son.

He faded into unconsciousness with the expectation that that was it, that his hubris finally caught up to him.

Less than twenty-four hours later, Hotch was staring at the dried streak of red on the photo of his whole world and wondering if he had made his way into hell without realizing it.

When Haley and Jack visited him in the hospital, he could barely look at their faces, not wanting the scared and confused expressions they wore to be the last memory he might have of the two people whose lives he sought to protect in throwing himself into work but ended up putting in danger.

Then they were walking away, and he felt his walls slowly building themselves back up to a height and with fortifications that he had not needed since he last wore them in his youth to protect himself against the people in his hometown who had treated him with suspicion and derision.

The months following the day his world was ripped from his weakened grip was its own brand of hell, and more than once he wished he had been less of a coward and let himself look up from his chase.

Soon he was stepping down and ignoring all reason as he threw himself back into work yet again, wearing a facade that his teenage self would have been proud of while desperately trying to fulfill the promise he made Haley, that he would spend the rest of his life making everything up to her.

But of course, life has a funny way of reminding people of the promises they made and the important lessons they have learned at the worst times.

Suddenly, the sound of three gunshots was ripping through his head.

Suddenly, he was forcing himself to look away from Haley’s body, strewn on the floor like a doll with its strings cut, forcing himself to keep it together so he could clear the room.

Suddenly, he was straddling George Foyet and unleashing upon him years of pent-up hurt and anger that he had never allowed himself to feel in favor of remaining strong for the people he loved so fiercely.

Do not break and do not allow yourself to bleed where others can see, for there are always sharks waiting to tear you apart.

Nothing is certain. Even the strongest, the smartest, the most experienced, can fail. Do not fall victim to your own hubris, for it will be your undoing.

Death awaits everyone. It takes without mercy or regard for the lives left behind.

That day, Hotch was reminded of all three statements that he swore to live by after Boston.

Foyet was witness to his unraveling and poked and prodded at him, so much so that he uncovered the rage he inherited from his father and had vowed long ago to never express.

His hubris, his confidence in assumptions that had been made so many times in the past, his confidence that denying the deal that had been offered to him just over a year ago was the right thing to do, cut the threads of over ten people far too early.

Haley was lost to him.

Forever.

But in the years afterward, as Hotch found himself stuck in his head and mentally removed from the team’s present more and more often, he wondered if that was actually the moment that he lost her.

Perhaps the time he had to fly out to Mexico on his birthday weekend was the start and the stress of his suspension the catalyst.

Was he simply too destructive and too desperate to have a happy ending? Was anyone closely associating with him doomed to fall along with him?

Why else was his mother spared from bruising when she was able to focus on raising Sean, a son whose looks did not remind his father of the sheer hatred he felt for himself?

Why else had his brother, who he was estranged from, done so well in life and remained so carefree?

For what other reason could Haley have been murdered than the fact that she was collateral damage in a psychopathic narcissist’s dream to cause him as much pain as possible?

For a short time, Haley’s murder had given Hotch a chance to look up, to free himself from all the responsibilities he had taken on, but it ultimately only served to increase his fear and paranoia. The team had seen the tail end of his unraveling in that house, and he knew it had shaken them to the core, so the walls remained up. Strangers in the street were unsubs, and he was never far away from a weapon if he could help it, always fearing that he would be too late to be of any help.

Four years to the day he locked himself away, he was seeing Haley smiling radiantly at him and wearing the same dress she was wearing when he proposed as she waved him over to sit next to her in an empty movie theater and he was struggling to articulate her beauty.

The large screen in front of them was playing scenes from his life in the years since she was stolen from this life. While her eyes were glued to the projection of his memories, he was left unable to tear his eyes away from her, the woman who had been such an integral part of his life, whose death he would probably never forgive himself for, whose presence in his world he had so desperately missed.

Then he was looking down from the screen when their moment was interrupted by the man who had become a permanent fixture in his night terrors and surprising himself with just how prepared he was to kill again to protect Haley like he had failed to do years ago. It was only Haley’s repeated assurances that finally got him to look back up at the screen, and in the next moment, he was once again experiencing his nightmares in real-time.

His voice cracked as he tried calling out for help, becoming more and more desperate as it became clear no one was coming, and then—

You’re not meant to.

They were suddenly standing face to face in that dark corner of the school where they first met. Hotch froze, rooted to the spot by the uncharacteristically cold expression on Haley’s face.

Where is he?

It wasn’t right, the hard tone, the way she was looking at him as if he were a stranger—

I don’t see Aaron Hotchner in front of me. Where is he?

Then her face softened, and she walked over to sit against the wall, uncaring of the dirt that was gathering on her dress. She stared at him pointedly until he made his way over to her and joined her on the ground. It was with great surprise that he felt her lean onto him, a long-forgotten and now unfamiliar warmth settling over him.

I want to tell you a story.

She told him the story behind an old song, the story about the queen who brought spring and summer with her every time she walked the earth and the king who ruled the shades and the underworld. And though the king loved his queen so desperately, every time she walked the earth while he remained in the underworld, he doubted that she would come back to him, for what could he offer her except his darkness?

So he worked and he threw himself into building a kingdom of metal and glaring bright lights that might compensate for his darkness, but he could not bring himself to look up for fear that he would lose everything the moment he stopped. In his fear, he kept his head low and his back bending, he locked his love away so it wouldn’t be a distraction.

(But what he didn’t know is that what he is defending was already gone.)

When Hotch found himself on the edge of a roof being held against Peter Lewis, who had a gun at his temple, facing the team’s desperate and fearful faces, he could only think about that story Haley had told him and the questions she had sent towards him right before he woke up in the hospital four years prior.

(Where is the treasure inside of your chest? Where is your pleasure? Where is your youth? Where is the man with his arms outstretched to the woman he loves with nothing to lose?)

That was the first time he could remember crying in front of Jack—when the two were clinging to each other in the hospital bed after yet another close call—and he resolved it wouldn’t be the last. It hurt to tear down the walls he had so meticulously built around himself over the course of nearly five decades, but to see the smile that his son inherited from Haley…

He could only lament that he hadn’t started earlier.

Slowly, he rebuilt his world, and it was filled with a warmth that hadn’t been since those golden years between first meeting Haley and becoming a prosecutor.

But then Peter Lewis came and turned his mind against him, forcing him to watch his nightmares come to life. And when he found himself at MPD’s gunpoint with Jack watching, his world cracked.

And in that interrogation room, watching the recording of Lewis’s testimony against him, his world cracked again.

And seeing his son’s withdrawn affect, trying to get him to understand that he wasn’t leaving, that he wouldn’t ever abandon him of his own free will—

Then they were called to Arizona and he found his name carved into a victim’s forehead, and he knew it was only a matter of time before the attacks would become more and more personal.

Favors were called in, calls were made, and all the while Hotch tried to keep Jack as ignorant as possible to the way his world was going up in flames around him. For a moment, it felt like the immediate aftermath of Boston, with all of the non-stop workdays and the scrutiny of the brass falling onto him and the struggle to balance his work and Jack—

And then one day, Jack disappeared in the middle of the school day.

A day later, Rossi and Luke were holding him back, trying to keep him away from the security checkpoint at the entrance of the Academy office buildings that had been taped off as a crime scene. His eyes caught a sudden movement, and all the fight left him when he saw the white sheet being unfolded and lowered over the small body that was on the gurney.

Maybe he was supposed to be more grief-stricken than he felt.

Maybe that’s why the team tip-toed around him in the months afterward—they were waiting for the sand to run out, for the inevitable breakdown that was expected from a man such as him.

And the sand did run out, only it wasn’t where any of them expected.

The cold metal digging into his temple provided him an odd moment of clarity as he thought about the questions he had asked himself—because that wasn’t Haley, she never looked at him with such cruelty, not even when he probably deserved it, it was always that voice in the back of his head, the voice that led him down the road to hell.

That treasure that he kept in his chest—it was buried in the ground with Haley and Jack.

His pleasure, his youth, it was left behind in his past with that first strike he felt from his father.

A smile spread across his face for the first time in months and he closed his eyes, a strange peacefulness settling deep in his bones. He flung himself backward, letting himself become dead weight as he suddenly heard shouts of horror through the sound of the wind rushing around him and Peter Lewis as they fell.

Didn’t you tell me to find the man who was reaching out with nothing to lose?

I found him.

I hope you and Jack waited for me, Haley.