#like why can i read about this dude dying horribly but i am not allowed to read him saying fuck

[residentshitcunt]

There is something very special about NTSB transcripts. Like, this is pretty funny, but then you realise it's at the bottom of a report about how these two gentlemen accidentally piloted a 767 directly into a marsh.

[idjitlili]

I can be the God of your Orgasm.

Loki x reader

(Not my image)

Summary:Some how ending up in Sakaar ,Valkyrie ends up taking you under her wing,no not her horse Aragorn,for a year ,until some Gods show up.

Word count:1768

Warnings:Language

A/n: Couldn’t end it , last time I touched this was October. Uhm, there’s a picture of Bowie, probably TMI here, but he was the first man , I ever you know over.Double aswell. I’m sorry.

You just a young woman in y/c ,heading to college your average routine ,but you never made it. Instead you had tripped over into a puddle ,but yet again you were decieved ,it was a portal. You hadn't/only left your country ,let alone been on another planet. You didn't think that was even possible;magic nor to be able to breathe on an different planet,well that was what you were told by the government. No you weren't a flat earther,thats bloody stupid. However you felt like the government hid a lot.

Michael Jacksons death,Heath Ledgers death,River Phoenix's death, Princess Diana's death , David Bowie, Obi-wan,it just seemed a little suspicous, not saying it was definitely them covering up the murders but...

Anyways so you fell into the puddle into a some rubbish ,literal rubbish. You had no idea what happened ,when Valkyrie found you she didn't either. God damn Benedict cumpatch stay in america with your fake american accent. Just stay away ,don't really want to be assassainated for being best buds with Sherlock Holmes and Dildo Gaggins.

Valkyrie had felt bad for such a young mortal being in an strange planet,she couldn't bare to bring you to Grandmaster ,to be apart of his orgies. he was indeed a tough warrior much like Dwalin the dwarf from the hobbit,who funfact is the longest living dwarf living up to 300 years,yes irrelvent.

Thus, you lived with her ,you managed to get a part time job as a cook,just so you didn't feel so bad about living with Valkyrie rent free. When I say part time cook ,I mean you just cooked for you and her,you didn't trust this planet. It was lucky when you fell in that puddle the stuff in your backpack didn't get wet,so you had some books to read,and such.

To be far being away from home stuck on an alien planet really did get boring ,you'd hate to admit it but sometimes you had to go to visit Hulk,because he was sorta normal. No he was not but he was okay ,like a destructive toddler but it was better than being alone. Other than that you really missed home ,you missed tv,you missed ice cream.

Pretty much everyday was boring. Well after almost a year of being here ,Valkyrie had brought a guest to your shared apartment thing. The God you had seen on the television a couple years ago. You had been sitting on the sofa reading at the time ,you jumped so hard when the door slammed open,you had looked up to see valkyrie shoving down a dark haired man in chains.

"Uhhh, are you allowed to kidnap people here?" you had questioned ,causing Valkyrie and the guy turn to you ,you had recognised him after a moment of trying to pin point his face. "I don't think that will hold him...h-he's-"

"Just stay away from him ,don't talk to him,don't look at him,hell don't even think about him,I will be back with Thor ,and then we can get you home, Y/n. So pack your things ." Soon as she had mentioned going home you had already started gathering your things,as Valkyrie had left after the God of Thunder. No you didn't go to the big battle compitions and Valkyrie certainly did not tell you she had found Thor ,but it didn't matter you were going home.

It didn't take you long to pack soon,you had your shoes on and everything sitting on the sofa ,twiddling your thumbs,feeling Loki's gaze on you. What's up with in love stories men staring , oh shut up you are just jealous because you can't even get a boyfriend ,stupid scribe.

"she said not to think about you...can you read minds?" you had questioned ,just really because that gaze he had on you made you feel proper ugly ,in which you were not. He had scoffed at you.

"I'm not a witch."

"I never said you were,you are a God ,must be better than having a hammer, it's like a normal hammer with steriods."

"Ah..so you have heard of me," He had smirked to himself ,you had just looked back at you hands before reaching for your bag grabbing your journal and ink,before just scribbing doodles on a clean page.Loki didn't speak after that not until you did again ten minutes later ,probably less time goes slow when the mood is a drag.

"the thing with new York, that was because of Thanos? People have controlled me by making me feel guilty so many times..OH manipulation ,you probably don't want to hear what I have to say,but I can't help it ,i've been stuck here a year the only person I got to speak to is drunk Valkyrie and hulk in which I feel like I am talking to a child. You know what I really wish I was watching Lord of the rings right-"

"You are from earth,how did you end up here?" He had grinned at you,cutting you off,isn't he like a mass murderer? Well he was tricked into doing it ,so more like accidental murderer ,why is he so handsome. Don't be stupid he is a God of course he is handsome.

"Uh..I fell into a puddle then I was here." The God had turned his head away to the floor ,scrunching his eyebrows together in confusion.

"I don't see how that's possible."

"Well it happene-" Yet you were cut off again,as the door slammed open,you quickly turned away back to your notebook,Thor ,Bruce and Valkyrie stood at the door.

You missed what happened first ,Loki having things thrown at him ,and such,you only looked up when he said something about spaceships,seeing Bruce. Your eyes glittered with excitement , Thor saw this. "Oh my! I can't believe it's-2 Thor had shook his head for you not say it. "Radiation scientist,Bruce Banner, damn,now I must say this is much more exciting than a hammer,which you don't have what's up with that? Hey Bruce how you feeling?Green? Darn, imagine being strongest Avenger!"

Thor had scoffed at you,"Does she always talk this much?"Bruce had made his way over to you smiling at you as you stood up. "It is so cool to meet you mister Banner."

"Thank you miss..." "Y/n" He had smiled at you again before turning to Thor ,"see strongest Avenger,yep that's me."

"well then ,let' hope we can get home,just first we are to go to Asgard."

***

"Valkyrie ,I'm going to stay with Dwayne Johnson,I have no fighting skills so it's better if come I after," you had gestured to Korg.

"Alright then, I'll see you if I don't die" And with that she left you with the aliens,smiling up to them.

"The revolution has begun."

***

"Hey, what's this?"

"Thank you." You had stood next to Korg as he had powered down the taser device on Loki's body,you had stood rocking on your balls of your feet in excitement to get home.

"Hey,man. We're about to jump on that ginormous spaceship. You wanna come?" Loki had jumped up,his hair a messy ,from the intense pain he had just suffered,from betraying his brother yet again.

"well you do seem like you're in desperate need of leadership." The smirk was interweaved into his voice, smooth as his greasy hair.

"Why, thank you."

"Hurry up! It has been too long since I've seen the dance seen in the james franco spiderman three!" You rushed forwards grabbing a hold of the mischief makers arm dragging him towards the ship. "Talkative and touchy," Loki just allowed you to drag him,with him supposively being evil,grinning.

***

"uhhh, what's the chances of as all dying horribly? Do you think if i pretend to be dead she wouldn't notice?" Loki was driving the space ship,whilst you sat in the seat next to him,all the alien people sat or stood behind. You really be riding shotgun on a spaceship,it was you or korg.

Loki did not answer you , yet just slightly smiled glancing to you briefly, not a good sign, you'd think with two Gods you'd be fine ,but clearly not. "Hey do you think if Thor had to fight I don't know- AHH" You weren't sure who you meant to say as you face planted into the spaceship's floor,as Loki's flying had stopped so suddenly causing a jolt. You had laughed to your lesson quietly,patheticly in honesty ,covering up how embarrassing that was.

You felt as if you were Mantis ,when Drax had informed her to watch out after she got hit in the face.  All you could think was there's like a bunch of aliens on this ship and it's guaranteed at least 3 have just seen you face plant.  "Okay , that makes me wish that I was on Thors spaceship right now." Your hair in your face, forearms pressed against the cold metal floor.

"What does he have that I don't?" His voice seeped with sarcasm, okay maybe not he was probably just annoyed that a midgardian was aboard and could not shut up.

"He probably can fly this thing better, well it's probably Bruce but that's even better , do you even know how many PHDs he has?"

"Honestly I do not know and do not care."

"Wow that's not very nice . He has..wait I dont -" The smirk on Loki's face was stamped deep, as he pulled you out of your concentration by doing so. "Shut up I bet you say to all your lovers, ‘If you givee a chance I can be the god of your orgasm’” Honestly you don’t know what made you think of that , something tells you it’s to do with a dude that reads a lot of smut named Blake. Actually the author doesn’t know if he does but..

“Thank you darling, for the new material.”

[officialwittek]

pt. 4

*gif is not mine* 

word count: 2,101

Ever since my little conversation with the girls I haven’t been able to really be myself around Jeff. Now I notice the side glances, the lingering touches on my thigh, the way his breath hitches when I get pushed a little too close to him at parties, and everything else I haven’t noticed before. My friends were adamant that he liked me back but I couldn’t see it. Slowly I distanced myself from them, for one my manager thought it would be a good idea to release some new music soon so I was extra busy and I can’t really be around my friends without feeling like my heart is going to explode. Of course they started noticing and not a day went by where I didn’t get texts from at least three of them asking where I was and why I stopped coming around. Even Jason and Josh dropped my apartment to make sure I was still alive.

Three weeks have gone by since my sleepover with Jeff. We still talk but not as much as before. Carly and Natalie were constantly calling and texting and I truly felt bad, but it would seem like such a bullshit excuse to say it’s because of my crush on Jeff.

“Sage, this is... this is real good work. I’m thinking we finish it up, and be set to release it in two weeks” James, my manager, said listening to to the final of three of the songs

“Thanks dad, I think today we’re recording the last song. I’ll email you our final version by the end of the day” I reply, he ruffles my hair and nods, leaving for another meeting while the producer and I talk about the last track

We record for about four hours, fine tuning every last detail. After the two of us finally felt good about it we sent the file to James who also gave the approval. We sent it in the the higher ups who also gave us the ok. All the promotional pictures were finished, we had an album cover chosen, now to put it all together and make this my first serious piece of art. After the long morning I decided to head straight to my apartment. I wasn’t particularly hungry anyways. I parked my car and took the elevator up to my apartment.  

I noticed shushing and brushed it off, thinking it was just Carly and Erin messing around. I unlock the door and see all of my friends crammed into this fairly small apartment. No one had their cameras out and they all had their arms crossed I sighed and put my things down before shutting the door.

“Before you even say anything. No I’m not on drugs, I don’t hate anyone, and I actually have been working on my music. My first EP is coming out in a few weeks” I explain, their faces relax and Carly walks up to me

“Don’t you ever try to ghost us like that again. We hated it” She said, wrapping her slender arms around my shoulders and I nodded, our friends came around and we all had a sweet group hug

“Well a congratulations are in order. I think we should celebrate tonight” David says, laughing loudly

“Fine, I’m stealing a Red Bull from your fridge though” I say, we all go downstairs and I finally notice some of their cars parked there

We all head to David’s house and I grab a Red Bull. We all sit in the living room. Filming dumb bits and getting ready for tonight. David wanted to throw it at his house since he wanted to keep it relatively small. Natalie, Carly, and Erin went to stock up for the night, asking me about all my favorite things. It took about an hour and a half for them to come back. Everyone helped get things from Nat‘s car and set up. We were finally ready and decided to start drinking before everyone got here.

“May Ilya and Zane stay away from the hospital. Amen” I yell, all of them cheering in response as we take our shots

After a few rounds of shots I was already pretty tipsy. I sat down at the couch, answering a few congratulatory texts from others. I talked to a few of our friends here and there. Jeff was nowhere to be found. I frowned a bit, but who can blame him? After all, I’m the one who made the decision to not talk to him.

“Do you think we could get a sneak peak?” Jason asks, taking a set next to me but I shake my head

“I want to keep it a complete surprise. Plus I’ve been thinking about having a release party and showing everyone there” I said, Jason actually thought that was a much better idea than just playing it

We made small talk here and there, apparently Wyatt has been dying to see my new studio. I loved Jason’s kids like they were my own family, especially since Wyatt and I have such a love for music.

“I’d love to have Wyatt at the studio. He can even record some things if he wants to. I know how to produce as well” I said, Jason damn near cried at the suggestion and we set a date

“Someone looks a little sober” Zane yells from behind us, I laugh and allow him to take me to the kitchen where the others were taking shots or making their best interpretations of different cocktails

After sampling everyone’s horrible attempt at a blackberry mojito it’s safe to say I was one shot away from exiting the physical realm. Especially since Zane decided it was appropriate to just dump nearly an entire bottle of rum in the drink. After a few minutes Todd headed to the door and let someone in. I heard the familiar accent and my heart dropped to my stomach. Jeff is here.

To be fair, I’m probably the only one who really cares that much, especially since I’m drunk as hell and I have a crush on the dude. I try to run and hide in a corner but there’s a lot more people now. I finally see an opening and head straight for the backyard. Thankfully no one noticed because Zane was too busy doing something extremely dangerous. I sit in one of the chairs we reserve for smoking, hitting my puff and scrolling mindlessly through TikTok, trying to get the thoughts out of my head. I hear the sliding door open and look up to see David.

“Alright what’s wrong? You look like we threw a party because we killed your dog” David jokes, my lips spread into a light smile

“Nothing, I’ve just been so exhausted lately with everything going on.. that’s all” I lie, I mean I’m not really lying, just not telling him the whole truth

“So it has nothing to do with Jeff showing up and you’re definitely overthinking and avoiding him even more. C’mon I’ve known you for forever, you can’t lie to me” He replies, his tone suddenly being serious

And it’s true, I’ve known David since I moved out here. He was my first real L.A friend. He’s seen me at my absolute lowest moments, and someone I could always go to whenever something was wrong. I hated that he could read me like a book.

“Fine, the Jeff thing is a contributing factor. But I’m being honest about the exhaustion” I say, crossing my arms like a child

We sit and talk, something we haven’t done in forever. It felt nice to have someone listen to me. After about half an hour of just talking we decide to head back inside. I felt too sober again and took some shots with Natalie and Toddy. I could feel Jeff’s eyes glaring a hole into the side of my head, but I was too sober to deal with anything right now.

At around 1:00 am. I got hungry and ordered DoorDash for everyone. All the other guests had left so it was just our main group scattered around the house. Jeff was surprisingly still here. Todd had whispered to me earlier that the only reason he was sticking around this late was to make sure I got home alright. I smiled at the sentiment, he was always making sure my drunk ass was safe.

Our DoorDash arrived and we all ate while watching some movie David found on Netflix. Jeff took a seat next to me, the look in his eyes was telling me he was going to ask for my permission so I simply nodded and scooted over so he could be comfortable. After we ate David wanted to get some last minute bits before we left for his vlog tomorrow.

“Jeff are you attracted to Sage?” David asks, my breath hitches in my throat, making me choke on my water

“No, I’ve blocked her out. Since she’s part of the friend group I don’t want to make anything weird” He replies, I can tell the answer even made David a little upset

Jason makes a joke to lighten the mood before there’s any tension which I greatly appreciate. Although Jeff’s words struck a cord, while I sit there repeating what he said it hits me. He’s right, I can’t guarantee that if Jeff and I were together that it would be for life and I can’t lose my second family. He’s right, it would never happen. Before I know it I feel my eyes watering and Natalie gently grabs my hand before leading me to her room with the rest of the girls in tow. When she closes the door I finally let it all out

“It’s ok princess, let it out” Mariah says, the girls wrapping me in a group hug

“It’s so stupid, we’re best friends before I let this stupid ass crush ruin everything but just hearing him say that out loud made it so much more concrete that we will never be together” I cry, resting my head on her shoulder

We have a little talk and I clean myself up before we all go back outside. At that point  David was done filming and was looking through the footage on his camera to pick out some clips. Jeff was waiting patiently on the couch before Corinna spoke up.

“Hey Jeff, I’m gonna take Sage home. We have some plans tomorrow and it would just be easier if I stay over” She says, it’s sort of true, Corinna has some meetings in the morning and they’re closer to my place but she isn’t staying over

“Oh ok, I should head out then. I’ll see you guys later” Jeff says, saying his goodbyes and leaving

“So was anyone else uncomfortable with Jeff’s answer or was it just me?” David asks, the group agrees, it’s definitely in his right to say that I mean no is mad

“Yea, I wasn’t mad cause it’s his own opinion and Jeff is a big boy, but he seems to sort of lead you on for him to turn around and say that he doesn’t even see you like when we ask him about Natalie and Corinna” Heath replies, everyone nods in agreement and I just sigh

“I’m not mad, I mean I have been sort of ghosting everyone these past few weeks, maybe he’s just upset” I explain, Heath and Todd give me the look

“Baby that’s bullshit and you know it” Heath laughs, Todd agrees with him and taps my leg

“To be honest, he was very stressed out while you were gone” He says, I know he’s trying to make me feel better but it doesn’t really help

Corinna and I leave shortly after we have our little group talk. We caught up during the car ride and before I know it we’re at my apartment. We say goodbye and plan to meet for lunch tomorrow before I head up to my apartment. I knew Carly was probably fast asleep so I tried to be as quiet as possible.

I get ready for bed and climb into my warm blanket, wrapping myself like a burrito. I browse TikTok on my phone for a few minutes before setting my alarm. Just before I let sleep take over my phone buzzes on my nightstand.

Jeff: I missed you.. I’m sorry for being an asshole tonight. I had no idea that I was leading you on, but I didn’t know you had a crush on me..

Fuck.

[talesfromthesnogbox]

Stuck Here With you

Rating: M (Rating for explicit conversations about sex) 

Words: 3,586

Summary: Richie and Eddie are stuck quarantining themselves together... what could possibly go wrong? OR based on this tweet: "@cjkasulke: APPARENTLY you have all just been *waiting* for this moment to confess your love to your roommates, so many of you live with people you have been silently in love with for y e a r s"

Notes: This is so stupid. Yes, I wrote a quarantine fic. Yes, this whole thing is a serious matter and I am an adult who's working from home and it all sucks, and there are people dying all over the world, and I do care, but I just thought people needed a little bit of a laugh, ya know? Anyways, this is wildly out of character and not good in general, but drop a comment if you like it, or if you think I'm a horrible person, whateves.

AO3

*~*~*~*~*

Richie woke from his catnap with a startled jump as he heard the front door slam shut.

“Jesus Eds, is it 6:30 already? Did I sleep all day?” He asked with a laugh.

“No asshole, it’s noon.” Eddie slammed his briefcase on the breakfast bar and worked his tie open. “This pandemic bullshit has gotten out of control.”

“Is that why you’re home right now…”

“Yes! Jared that fucking lunatic went off and brought some girl home last weekend and now he’s got a fever, so we were all sent home, and I’m stuck in isolation.”

Eddie was pissed, but Richie could see through his thinly veiled layer of anger; there was fear.

“Oh. Do you hang around Jared a lot at work?”

He sighed. “No, no I don’t, but it’s just a precaution until he can get tested properly.”

“That’s good then, right?”

It was good. After seven full days, Eddie finally emerged from his room with a cheery smile. “Jared’s in the clear, turns out he just picked up some STD, and I get to go back into work tomorrow.” He plopped down on the couch.

“That’s great Eds, but I hate to break it to you…” Richie pointed towards the TV where the headline read “California officially shut down”.

The first few days felt like any weekend would. They had extra groceries delivered, they binged some true crime documentary on Netflix, they had a group Skype session with the Losers, they did pretty much anything that took their minds off the current situation. But then the fifth day hit.

It was only 7am when Richie dragged himself out of bed for a coffee. Sure it was early, and he had nowhere to be, but time meant nothing anymore.

Usually Richie’s clamoring about the kitchen woke Eddie up. The first few nights that Eddie moved in after Derry were rough; turns out, Eddie was a pretty light sleeper, and Richie was loud. But today, there was no Eddie in sight.

He continued on his way, pouring himself a bowl of cereal when he saw it through the window to his backyard… and promptly spilled milk all over the counter.

On the bright side, Richie had found Eddie. The only downfall was he’d found him in a pair of tiny running shorts and a tank top doing squats on his deck.

“Fuck!” Richie swore, grabbing a tea towel to clean up the mess he’d made.

“Richie?” Eddie stopped his squats and ran into the house. “What the fuck happened dickwad?”

“N-nothing, nothing happened, it’s just early and I lost my grip.”

Eddie rolled his eyes.

“So um… what’s happening in the backyard there, Jillian Michaels?” Richie giggled.

“Fuck off. I usually go to the gym before work, but now that the gym’s closed, I had to improvise.”

“Ahh, I see, trying to pick up the new future Mrs. K with…” with thighs I want to wear as earmuffs and that tight ass? He was glad there was an entire counter between them to hide the fact that he was currently at half-mast.

Eddie gave him a strange look and shook his head. “Shut the fuck up. I’m a divorced 40-year-old living with his best friend, I don’t think I’m going to be picking someone up that easily at the gym. Besides, Santa Monica women aren’t really my type…”

“Oh? Well when this is all over, I know a few places we can go pick up chicks. West Hollywood, Beverly Hills, hell even Studio City. Name your type Eds, we’ll find her.”

“Aren’t you gay? How do you know so much about picking up women?”

“Closet case my boy.” Richie winked and took a bite of his cereal. “I’m as good of an actor as I am a comedian.”

“No wonder there were never any articles about how much of a playboy you were then.” Eddie said straight-faced, walking back out to finish his work out.

“Eds gets off a good one!”

*~*~*~*~*

After that eventful morning, Richie tried his hardest to stay in bed until after Eddie’s morning routine was done. One almost-embarrassing situation in his pants was enough to last a lifetime around his best friend of however-many years, he did not need it to escalate from there.

As the days passed on, the two of them found ways to entertain themselves. Eddie took to reading on the deck in the mild April weather, and Richie decided to pick up his guitar again for the first time in years.

He was a little rusty, but after a few hours of practice, it was like riding a bike, and before he knew it, he was back playing the tune he’d spent hours playing as a teenager.

Richie hummed along to the tune of “Eddie My Love” as his fingers formed the familiar chords with ease. He didn’t even realize Eddie walking in from the backyard, a stunned look on his face.

“Rich?” He jumped, startled at the sound of the other man.

“Hey Eds, sorry was I being loud?”

“N-no.” He shook his head. “I didn’t know you played.”

Richie chuckled. “Yeah, I picked it up in high school after Went agreed to teach me a bit. I was in a band in college, but we kinda sucked.”

Eddie scoffed. “You don’t suck, that tune is lovely. What is it?”

Richie’s face felt hot all the sudden. “Uhh, I can’t really remember the name, just something I used to play a bunch. It’s an oldie my mom really liked.”

“Can you teach me?”

His eyes widened. “Y-yeah, here, come sit.” He moved more away from the body and more towards the neck of his acoustic, allowing Eddie to sit nestled between his folded legs. “Okay, um so you hold it like this, and your fingers go here.” Richie curled Eddie’s fingers around the neck of the guitar, placing them in the correct spots on the frets. “So we start with a G chord.” His other arm snaked around Eddie’s shoulder to show him how to strum the chord.

Eddie shivered, completely engulfed by his best friend, noticing for the first time how much he loved his arms being wrapped around him like this.

“Then we move to an E minor.” Richie shifted Eddie’s fingers again and strummed. “Then A minor, and up to D.”

Eddie moved his fingers, pliant beneath Richie’s big hand. His heart beat fast, and he could feel Richie’s breath warm on his shoulder as he played.

For a moment, Eddie could convince himself that Richie felt the same way about him, but only for a moment. They were best friends, and just because Richie was gay, it didn’t mean he was interested in Eddie, no matter how hard he wished that he was. He would never have Richie, but he’d always have this moment.

*~*~*~*~*

“Alright, that’s it. We’re getting drunk.” Richie pulled out a rather large bottle of vodka and a few other spirits. “I’m mixing you up a quarantini.”

“A what now?”

“Quarantini, Eds. We’re getting shitfaced.”

Eddie rolled his eyes. “Rich, there’s no way in hell I’d—” he paused. Maybe this was the perfect way to come on to Richie. Lowered inhibitions were a great excuse to do something potentially stupid, and if it all went sour, he could blame it on the alcohol. “You know what, fuck it. Mix me a quarantini.”

“That’s the spirit!” He mixed the drinks and dragged Eddie over to the couch. “Alright, we’re indulging tonight. I want not a peep from you. I never got to do any of this gay shit before, and now is the perfect excuse to start a new series. We’re watching RuPaul’s Drag Race.”

Eddie nodded his head. “Drag racing, okay cool, I like cars.”

Richie burst out laughing. “No asshole, drag race… like drag queens.” He popped on a random season and hit play.

Four episodes and many quarantinis later, both Eddie and Richie were yelling at the TV.

“How could they send April home, she’s like the hottest one there!” Eddie put his hands up.

“Right? Look at how hot he is ugh I just wanna…” Eddie glanced over at Richie with a smirk. “Shut up.”

“No, no, I see it.” He pulled out his phone, April’s instagram profile already loaded. “The scruff is driving me mental.”

Richie chuckled. “Eds, that sounds kinda gay.”

“Yeah, no shit Sherlock.” Eddie said, face heating up. “Um, surprise?”

“Oh… shit dude, yeah, um, congratulations. Thanks for telling me.” Richie brought his friend into a tight hug, the alcohol running through his system making him feel a little light headed.

“Thanks for being cool about it.” Eddie mumbled, pulling away a bit, but still resting within Richie’s grasp.

“Hey man, I get it… I’m a closet case too.” He laughed.

The two were silent for a moment, content in each other’s grasp, until Eddie couldn’t handle the silence anymore. “Come on, next episode. I hope Laganja gets booted, I can’t stand her.”

Many episodes and quarantinis later, Eddie was fully shitfaced.

“Come on, bedtime for Eds.”

Eddie giggled. “Yeah Rich, take me to bed.” He waggled his eyebrows in a way that made Richie’s heart stutter.

“Alright, alright, that’s enough from you.” Richie deposited Eddie onto the bed, helping him with his shirt, when Eddie pulled him down hard.

“Oops, sorry Rich.” He giggled. “’s not my fault, you’re trying to get me out of my clothessss.”

“You’re wearing jeans, I can’t let you go to bed in jeans Eddie. What kind of asshole wears jeans in quarantine.” Richie giggles, undoing Eddie’s zip and pulling his jeans down his hairless legs. Fuck, his legs are amazing. “Eds, do you wax?” Richie giggled, rubbing a hand up his thigh.

“Pffftt, we’re in isolation shithead, I haven’t been to my wax girl in weeks.”

A jubilant laugh bubbled from Richie’s chest. “Shit, I’ve learned more about you tonight than I have in all the years I’ve known you. You really are a twunk.”

“A what now?”

Richie planted himself down on the bed beside Eddie. “Twunk, hunky twink.”

A look of realization dawned on Eddie. “Ohhhh, that makes a lot of sense. The dude at the checkout told me I was a twunk when I went to buy those underwear without the butt.”

Richie’s brain went blank. “Eddie, do you wear thongs?”

“No asshole, the other thing without the butt. Jock something, I can’t remember.”

“A jockstrap? Eddie are you trying to kill me right now?”

“Shut the fuck up asshole! They’re good for working out in. And they don’t give me lines in my nice suit pants.” Richie was speechless. “So if I’m a twunk, what are you?”

“I—I—I think it’s time for bed.”

“Oh.” Eddie said sounding dejected. “O-or we could just hang out?”

Richie was at an impasse. He knew they were walking a thin line right now, and he shouldn’t stay, but he wanted to see where this would take him, he didn’t want to leave Eddie’s side.

“I think I could hang out for a bit.”

Their “hanging out” didn’t last very long. Within ten minutes, the two men were out cold.

Richie woke up first the next morning and left the soundly sleeping Eddie to go make a pot of coffee. His head was pounding, and as much as he knew the bright sunlight was going to burn his eyes, the fresh air couldn’t hurt.

He’d never been more thankful for his manager who also happened to be a fantastic decorator. The outdoor couch may have seemed stupid to him when he first bought the place, but at times like this, it was a great choice. He could relax, and look out towards the ocean, and forget everything that happened the night before.

That is until Eddie decided to join him.

Richie’s breath left his lungs once he got a good look at his friend. It was like a blast from the past seeing him in a pair of tiny red running shorts, much like those he wore when he was a kid, but now… now they were so much more. Richie’s mouth watered when his eyes caught a good look at how Eddie’s ass filled out the shorts. A large tank top donned his torso, one that Richie had been gifted, and definitely not been too comfortable wearing himself judging by how low cut the arm holes were. He looked hot, not that he wasn’t always attracted to Eddie, but this felt like something had changed, a sexual awakening of sorts, and Richie would never look at his friend the same way.

“Fuck, I don’t think I’ve ever been so hungover.” Eddie complained as he sat beside Richie. “That stupid drink went down like water.”

“Yeah man I hear you, I feel like shit.”

“I had fun though, it’s been a long time since I’ve had that much fun.”

Richie looked over to him. “No regrets about spilling your guts then?”

Eddie winced. “Okay, maybe you didn’t have to hear about what kind of underwear I prefer.”

Richie burst out laughing. “No, I definitely appreciated that tidbit of information, Eds. I’m proud that my twunk theory was right.”

“Fuck you.”

“Fuck me yourself you coward.” Richie mumbled to himself.

“Sorry, what was that?”

“N-nothing.” He said, darting inside. “Going to work on my new show, I’ll see you in a bit.”

Richie had to get out of there. Last night was a lot, sure, but something felt different today. Seeing Eddie in his boxer briefs felt almost safer than whatever the hell he was wearing today. It’s almost like… almost like he’d purposely dressed up for Richie, and it was killing him. He didn’t know how much more he could take before he combusted.

Unfortunately for Richie, this new look seemed to be Eddie’s new uniform. Richie could tell that now Eddie was out to him, he felt more comfortable being himself, but Richie hated every second of it.

He dreaded seeing Eddie in the morning, dreaded knowing what fresh hell lay beyond his bedroom door in the form of a 5’9 firey bundle of sex personified.

Nearly a month into their quarantine, it was finally warm enough for Richie to sit out by the pool. He donned the brightest swim trunks he could find and rubbed his pale skin down with sunscreen, soaking up some vitamin D.

He’d been out there for just under an hour when he heard (and felt) a splash from the pool where Eddie jumped in.

“Okay, I take back everything bad I ever said about you having a pool when the ocean is right there. The pool is definitely more relaxing than the beach.”

Richie giggled. “I told you, asshole.”

“Oh, and I totally figured out what you are now. If I’m a twunk, you’re an otter.”

“A what now?” Richie removed his sunglasses and moved to sit on the edge of the pool.

“An otter.” Eddie rested his elbows on Richie’s thighs as his calves framed his torso. “At least that’s what I think. It’s like a softer bear. You’re not quite as big and not enough hair to be a bear, and you’re still too thin to be a cub, so you’re an otter.”

“I understood exactly none of what you said except for ‘bear’. I met a bear on Grindr just before Derry that made me realize I like being the bigger body in bed.” Richie winked saucily.

“So you’re a top then Trashmouth?”

Richie’s brows rose into his hairline. “I—I—we are not talking about this right now, not when you’re this close to my dick.”

“Oh come on, you used to talk about your dick all the time.”

“Yeah, I was a closeted kid who’s balls hadn’t dropped yet, obviously I wanted to come off as heterosexual as I could.”

Eddie laughed. “Okay, good point.”

The two sat in the same position for a few minutes, exchanging no words between them. It felt intimate, it felt like Eddie was flirting with him, but he’d never been good at picking up signs. Could Eddie want this too?

“I am though.” He said quietly, finally breaking the silence.

“You’re what?”

Richie’s heart thudded in his chest. “A top, I guess. I don’t mind bottoming, I like it, but I guess I just…”

Eddie grinned. “You like being in charge?”

“No, fuck no.” Richie laughed.

“Really? Huh, okay.” Eddie nodded, mostly to himself.

“Hey, what the fuck does that mean?”

“Nothing, nothing at all Tozier.” Eddie pushed off of Richie’s legs and floated on his back towards the inflatable lounger.

*~*~*~*~*

The week that followed was agonizing. All Eddie wore was those stupid shorts and a variation of t-shirt/tank-top/fucking crop top, and it was driving Richie mental. He felt like a teenager again, he’d never had so many hard-ons in one week in his life.

It was only a matter of time before Richie snapped.

Richie was descending the stairs from his room one fateful morning and groaned rather loudly when he saw what was waiting for him.

The shorts seemed shorter, tighter on his ass (damn all those squats he does) and his already short shirt seemed to rise up, showing the lovely dimples on his lower back as he reached for a bowl from a high shelf.

“Hey Rich, can you help me… what’s wrong?”

He huffed out a laugh. “What’s wrong? Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Wh—did I do something?”

Richie stared at Eddie in disbelief. “Did you… did you do someth—the shorts man, what’s with the shorts!”

“The shorts? I always wear the shorts.”

“I fucking know you always wear the shorts, that’s the problem!” Richie’s stomach rolled. He thought he was going to throw up, he’d never been this candid about his feelings in his life.

“You have a problem with the way I dress? Fuck you, dude.”

“Fuck me yourself you coward!”

Both men fell silent. The tension could be cut with a knife, it was so thick between them.

“Richie?”

“Fuck man, I’m sorry I freaked out on you like that, I just don’t know if I can take this anymore. We’ve been cooped up for a month and I swear I’ve done more jacking off in the last month than I ever did as a teenager.” As good as it felt to spill his guts, he definitely thought he was going to pass out any second.

“I—I don’t…”

“The worst part is, it’s not even just that I’m horny. It’s you! Shit man, I’ve been dreaming of you since we were fucking teenagers. And now… now here you are looking like a goddamn… a goddamn what’s the word… a goddamn snack, telling me shit about the sexy underwear you buy, and asking me if I’m a top. Eddie, I don’t know if you’re flirting with me or not, but Jesus fucking Christ, it’s taking every single fiber of my willpower to not rip your clothes off right now.”

Eddie held back a smile. “Wait, I’m sorry, what? You couldn’t tell I was flirting with you? Are you fucking blind? Actually don’t answer that, I know you’re fucking blind.”

Richie was sure he was gonna get a nosebleed any second. “S-so you were flirting with me?”

Eddie laughed out loud. “Yes you idiot! Literally since the moment I got here, I have been flirting with you. You didn’t get the hint that I have feelings for you?”

“What the fuck, no man! Like you said, I’m fucking blind. I thought you were straight until a few weeks ago!”

Eddie moved to lean against the island, closer to Richie. “You dumbass, I tried so hard the night I came out to you, why do you think I told you about what fucking underwear I wear?”

“I don’t know man, I’m not good at this shit.”

“Clearly!”

Richie cast his eyes down. “S-so, so you really like me?”

Eddie reached for his hand and interlaced their fingers. He pulled Richie closer to him, so he was pinned between Richie and the island. “I love you, dickwad.”

Richie huffed out a laugh. “I love you too.” He blinked rapidly, looking up towards the light. “Oh god, why am I crying.”

“Get over here you big baby.” Eddie detangled his fingers from Richie’s and brought his hand up to the other man’s cheek, bringing him in for a kiss. It was sweet, it was chaste, it was everything Richie wanted from Eddie when they were younger.

But he wasn’t a teenager, and he wanted more.

He dove forward, tongue clashing with Eddie’s. It was hot, it was toe curling good. He snaked his other hand down Eddie’s side, curling around his hip and moving to squeeze his ass. Eddie groaned and ground himself into Richie’s thigh.

“Fuck.” Richie said pulling away. “Fuck, how are you so hot? We’re fucking forty man.”

“Me? Dude, look at you. Your arms… your chest…” Eddie snaked his hand under Richie’s shirt, scratching at the smattering of hair on his pecs.

“Jesus man, I’m not gonna last… fuck… bedroom?”

“Bedroom.”

*~*~*~*~*

The two men finally emerged from Richie’s bedroom for dinner later on with kiss bruised lips and satisfaction plastered on their faces.

“Anything good on?” Eddie asked as Richie turned on the TV. “Rich?”

Richie laughed. “You better come see this.”

“QUARANTINE LIFTED” The headline read as news anchors happily recounted the fall in new cases, and the rise in recoveries.

“You’re fucking joking.”

[zodiyack]

Billy Hargrove VS The World

Pairing: Billy Hargrove x reader Scott Pilgrim Vs The World AU (See note!)

Warnings: 7 exes that would love to kill Billy, violence, swearing, soft!Billy, I guess two sexual references since it’s Billy we’re talking about, smut mention but no smut, making out, SPOLIERS!, and cheesy pirate Patel

Words: 4947

Note: This is a Scott Pilgrim Vs The World AU because I love that movie and it would be interesting to write an AU involving that. Also this is a multiple part story due to all 7 exes and the battles. One ex per post! (maybe) I’m sorry for the unoriginal title lmao

By the way, yes. There is dialogue from the movie. That is in and going to be in this miniseries. As I said, I love this movie and I think most of the dialogue was funny, plus it is semi important to the story. And the exes are the same people from the movie. Sorry if you don’t like that.

o/o/y/f/c = One of Your Favorite Color(s)

Bold = Words From The Movie (that appear on the screen, if you’ve watched it, then you know what I’m talking about)

Italics with apostrophes = Billy’s thoughts (and Matthew’s thoughts but only once)

Italic = Used for a few different things, mainly enthusiasm/emphasis on words

Masterlist | Stranger Things Masterlist

link to the soundtrack on youtube ‘cause why not (a few will be in here I guess)

Part 1. Part 2. Part 3. Part 4. Part 5 and 6. Part 7.

“Look.”

Tommy pointed to the new girl. Finally, some fresh meat for Billy. Or Tommy, whichever one thought of her first. Billy finally grew bored of the girls at school, he waited for one that was newer. Fresher. Cuter.

There she was. Her unnatural o/o/y/f/c hair sat on her shoulders. Roller-blades on her feet, her torso clothed in a shirt covered with a hoodie and another jacket. Her bag hung by her side, headphone strings leaving it and connecting to the headphones on her head. She didn’t look like most girls. Billy had seen most of them, and none had looked as breathtaking nor interesting as her. Before either teens could walk over to her, a boy around their age walked in front of them. She was gone when he moved.

“Weird...”

“I hear she’ll be at Tina’s party tonight.” Carol noticed the boy’s fascination with the new kid, sharing it. “We should go, it’ll give you the chance to learn more about her, Billy.”

“We’ll see.” He brushed off his thoughts about the odd girl, her choice of hair color and clothing, and her headphones that caused her mental absence from the world. Billy turned and walked away, continuing with the rest of his day.

. . .

Billy was stopped by Tina. She asked him how the party was going and if he needed anything.

“Hey Tina, you know everyone, right?”

“Yeah. Pretty much.” She let out a small laugh. Billy didn’t know whether it was fake or genuine.

“Do you know this one girl with hair...” He grabbed a pen the same color as the new girl’s hair color, quickly drawing a horrible doodle of the girl’s hair. “Like this?”

“Yes, that’s Y/n L/n.” Tina took a sip of her drink, “Someone said she was gonna be here tonight actually.”

Billy’s hand that held the drawing went down quickly, his head snapping to the side and his eyes searching for Y/n. “What?”

“Oh Billy, you got the hots for her or something? I’ve gotta tell you though, I hear she’s a little hardcore-” Tina had looked down mid-sentence and when she looked back up Billy was gone. She turned her head with confusion.

Meanwhile, Billy was now walking through the crowd in search of his unique looking crush. His eyes and head shifted when he couldn’t see her, switching from left and right with each step he took. He didn’t blink, afraid that he’d miss her if he did. After many turns of his head and movements of his eyes, he finally spotted her. His hand clenched the red solo cup, squeezing it until it was crumpled and disfigured.

He slid along the wall, stopping when his body was right next to hers. He faced her, his body turned slightly so that she knew she had his full attention.

“Hey, what’s up?”

She turned her head to him for a second, facing forwards again and replying with, “Nothing.” before taking a sip from her cup.

“Hey you know swimming?”

“I know of it.” She took another sip, still not facing him.

He rambled on about the breast stroke and how he could teach her. Billy took notice of her silence, looking up to see that she was facing him with no emotion visible. 

“That’s amazing.” Her reply was just as her face was; emotionless and dull.

“Uhm...” He looked down. No girl could make Billy nervous. By now, he’d have them a blushing mess, begging for him to do whatever he’d like. So now that the new girl, on the first day she’d ever met him, just somehow managed to make him regret every word he said, he thought he’d gone soft. “Am I dreaming?” Her eyebrows furrowed with confusion and another emotion Billy couldn’t quite think of. However, it was enough to make him regret speaking once more. “I’ll leave you alone forever now...”

“Thanks.”

And Then

He Stalked Her

Until She

Left

The Party

“Dude!”

He grabbed Tommy’s shoulder, spinning him around.

“What?”

“She’s totally real!”

“Who?”

“Y/n L/n.” His gaze went elsewhere. Billy then speeded off to find Tina. “Dude!” She made a face at Billy’s sudden approach, but let him speak. “What do you know about Y/n L/n?”

“All I know is that she’s (ethnicity).”

His sudden dramatic and demanding of knowledge persona swapped to dreamy, just as it had when he said her name to Tommy. “(ethnicity)...”

“Why don’t you go talk to Sandra and Monique, they know more about her.” Tina’s head nodded to two blond women laughing in a doorway. Billy rushed to them.

“Lady-dudes. What do you know about Y/n L/n?”

Sandra spoke up first, “I heard she has a boyfriend.” Monique confirmed her knowledge, “Mhm, yes. Left him back in New York.”

Billy felt a bit annoyed, but still wanted to know more. “Yeah yeah yeah...What else?”

He asked other people, earning all kinds of different responses.

“I heard she kicks all kinds of ass.”

“She’s on...another level!”

“She has men dying at her feet!”

“She’s got some battle scars dude.”

“What about Y/n L/n?!” Robin asked, semi full of annoyance for her old friend.

“You know her? Tell me now.”

“She just moved here, got a job at the mall, comes into my work.”

“Does she really?” His tone was dreamy again.

A girl put her arm around Robin, “didn’t you say she just broke up with someone?”

“Did she really?”

“They had uh...huge fight or whatever?”

“Did they really?”

Robin slapped the other girl’s arm off of her. “Yes! But I didn’t want Billy to know that, Kate!”

“Yeah...I don’t know what it is about that girl-”

“Billy, I forbid you from hitting on Y/n! Even if you haven’t had a real girlfriend in over a year or whatever.”

Billy’s daydreaming halted to a stop. He let out a scoff and turned away.

“Hey, woah woah woah, my man Billy’s got all kinds of girls...he’s totally getting with an older girl sometime, right?” Tommy couldn’t keep his big mouth shut, as usual.

“Getting with an older girl or multiple girls is not having a real girlfriend.”

“She’s got a point.” Kate wrapped her arm around Robin again.

“I thought you guys weren’t friends anymore?”

Robin slapped away Kate again. “I don’t want you scaring off one of my old friends now that she’s in town, Billy. We all know you’re a lady-killer-wannabe-jerky-jerk.”

“That’s completely untrue.”

“That time with Lisa?”

“That was a misunderstanding.”

“That time with Holly?”

“That wasn’t what it looked like.”

“That time you dumped Faith for-”

“Okay me and Faith are all good now, right?” He turned to where the girl Robin had mentioned stood. Her cup was in her hands and her face was blank with wide eyes. She looked traumatized. Billy turned back to Robin.

“Whatever! Y/n’s just out of your league, let’s just leave it at that. Besides, I’m not even sure she had a big break up. She keeps mentioning some guy named Gideon.”

“Yeah, I don’t know what it is about that girl-”

“FORGET IT BILLY!”

. . .

“What’s this?”

“I don’t know, it’s a letter for you dumbass. Read it.”

Billy grunted and took the letter from his father, tearing it open and allowing his eyes to scan the page slowly. He mumbled the words as he read them. It was only Max and him in the room, so it couldn’t do much harm. “Dear Mr. Hargrove, it has come to my attention that we will be fighting soon. My name is Matthew Patel and blah blah blah blah...fair warning, mono e mono, 7 evil blah blah... This is... This is... This is-”

Max grew annoyed with her older brother. “What?!?”

“This is borrrinnnggg. Get rid of thisss.” He threw the letter into the recycling and walked up the stairs to his room. “Hey Max?” For once, he didn’t care about being an ass to the redheaded girl. He had a plan, and he needed her as an excuse to leave the house.

“What is it?”

“Wanna go to the mall?”

“For real?” Of course, he couldn’t tell her. “Let me get my wallet and I’ll meet you in the car!”

. . .

“Hello. Robin tells me you ordered this ice cream but left before she could give it to you, so here.” The ice cream that she handed him was indeed abandoned when he heard Steve say that Y/n was in the mall and would be hanging around Scoops soon. “You gonna take it? Ooor-”

“Hi, I was thinking about asking you out but then I realized how stupid that would be...so do you wanna go out sometime?”

“Um no, that’s okay. You can just pay for this, alright?”

“You don’t remember me, do you? We met at the party the other day.”

“Were you the swim guy?”

“Nooooooooo, not even. That was some total ass...I was the...other guy.”

“You know you need to take this and pay for it?”

“But if I do, you’ll leave.”

“Yeah. It’s how it works.”

“Okay well maybe, do you wanna hang out sometime? Get to know each other? You’re the new kid on the block...right, I’ve lived here...for a while so there are reasons...for you to hang out with me.”

A short pause was shared between the two. Y/n’s eyes glanced up to Billy’s with an eyebrow raised. He didn’t know why he felt desperate, but this girl was making him feel different.

“You want me to hang out with you?”

“Um...” He looked down shyly, but quickly looked back up to her face. “Yeah, if that’s cool...” His tough demeanor seemed to flee whenever she was present.

“If I say yes, will you take and pay for your damn ice cream?”

He snatched the ice cream from her and tossed it over his shoulder and into the garbage can behind him effortlessly, taking out the money needed and handing it to her. “So yeah, eight o’clock?”

So Yeah ( . . . )

“Why’re you just standing there?”

“Dude, I’m totally waiting on you.” Y/n turned to Billy, her hands tucked into the pockets of her hoodie. Billy didn’t know whether she looked offended or confused.

“Oh...I’m sorry, I just assumed you were too cool to be here on time...” In other words, he assumed she was like him. If you were at Tina’s party, then you were bound to be somewhat of a “cool kid” or a rebel or anything remotely relating to popularity. Then again, Tina loved handing out invites.

“Well. You assumed wrong.”

They walked in the chilly weather. Small talk slowly formed and they tried their best to get to know each other just as Billy had suggested. His nervousness didn’t leave him around her, and he was glad that no one else from school was there to see him make a fool of himself. ‘You’re just gonna get lucky and then leave her like the rest of them.’ No matter how many times he told himself that, he was too interested in Y/n. His felt something he wasn’t sure he had ever actually felt.

“So, how’d you end up in Hawkins?” Crap. He wasn’t even sure he could get to like him. Let alone be his snack of the week.

“Just needed to escape I guess...”

“Oh yeah.” He knew exactly how she felt. Or at least what he thought she meant by it.

“I got this job here and Gideon always said Hawkins was one of the cool places, so.”

Now Billy felt the need to ask the question that had been bugging him since Robin brought it up. “Is Gideon...your boyfriend?” It had been bothering him and filling him with a small amount of disappointment and worry.

“He’s...a friend.” Her gaze strayed away.

“Was he your boyfriend?”

She looked hurt. Hurt and uncomfortable. “Do you mind if I don’t get into that right now?” Y/n turned and walked to the swing set in front of them.

“Uh- it’s so not interesting to me...” 

Y/n kept walking, Billy joining her and attempting to not bother her any more than he had already done. She took notice and initiated conversation so that he wouldn’t feel as awkward and guilty, “What about you, what do you do?”

“Oh, I’m in between jobs at the moment.”

“Between what and what?” She moved in front of the swing and sat down as Billy started talking. He did the same but his movements were still shy and cautious.

“Well my last job was...a long story, filled with sighs.”

“I know plenty of those.” Billy took the opportunity to check on Y/n. His face slowly looked over to hers, which was looking up and admiring the sky.

“Is that why you left New York?” 

She looked in front of her, furrowing her eyebrows and nodding, “Pretty much. Just time to head somewhere a little more chilled.”

A cold breeze swept past the two. It was incredible timing.

“Well it’s certainly chilled here!” The wind gave Billy the perfect opportunity to try and lift the mood. A smile rested on his face, his joke seemed like one of the funniest things in the world seeing as Y/n had that same smile.

“Yeah...”

“It’s chilled as in cold...” Oh no. ‘Why the fuck am I so awkward?”

“Yeah.” ‘Oh dear god she noticed.’

The two decided to swing a bit more. With the conversation at a pause, that was honestly probably needed, Y/n and Billy swung their legs back and forth. competition started. They both tried to see who could go higher, Y/n won and smiled slightly while Billy smiled and chuckled with accepting defeat.

After they finished their fun, Billy and Y/n hopped off the swings for a finale. They continued their conversation afterwards, light droplets of rain mixed with small snowflakes falling over their heads.

“It’s ridiculous. Isn’t it like September?”

“No...but it doesn’t snow much in Indiana...ya know, I can barely see you?” His leather jacket was suddenly not projecting as much warmth as he normally would have anticipated. “This whole thing is an unmitigated disaster.”

“I think ‘Act Of God’ is a pretty decent excuse for a lousy date.”

Billy stopped in his tracks. A sneaky signature smirk crept onto his face and his usual attitude made an appearance. “So this a date, eh?”

She stopped as well and turned. “Did I say date?” He nodded. “Slip of the tongue.”

“Tongue.”

“Anyway, nights not over yet...” She turned back to where they were originally facing, “and there’s a thingy over here somewhere.”

“Thingy?”

Once again, she turned her head towards him. “A door.” She turned it back, yet again, but this time there was a door in front of them. Odd. She nodded her head over to it in a beckoning way. “Come on.”

Billy took her hand and was dragged by her over to the mysterious door.

Y/n Come Closer ( . . . )

Y/n took off her shoes and looked up at Billy. He sat at her dining room table, staring at her with awe and adoration. Y/n broke the silence and walked over to her cupboard. “What kind of tea do you want?”

He didn’t know why he took his jacket off. His arms were cradling themselves as one would when they were cold. And he was cold. “There’s more than one kind?”

She opened the cupboard. “We have,” she inhaled. “Blueberry, raspberry, ginseng, sleepytime, green tea, green tea with lemon, green tea with lemon and honey, liver disaster, ginger with honey, ginger without honey, vanilla almond, white truffle, blueberry caramel, vanilla walnut, constant comment annnnnd...earl gray.”

When her sentence was finished, Y/n turned to face a wide eyed Billy. “Did you make some of those up?”

She reached into the cupboard and pulled out a box, “I think I’ll have sleepytime.”

“That sounds good to me...”

She made the tea and set it on the table. Billy’s position didn’t go unnoticed by her, “Want me to get you a blanket?” Her eyebrows were raised with amusement.

“That would actually be...awesome.”

Y/n walked away into her room. A few minutes passed. More minutes. Billy was almost done with his tea. He wondered where she went. He wondered why she was taking so long. Billy decided to go into her room and check on her, making a grunt-like wheeze.

Facing her closet, she was taking off her shirt. Upon hearing him, she turned and raised her arms. “Dude I’m changing.” She didn’t seem bothered by the fact that he just walked in on her while he bra was the only thing covering her chest. 

Billy let out a small, “Ah, sorry!” and covered his eyes. “I’m just cold...”

“Here. That help?”

“Yeah...that’s very warm...What is that?” His hands slowly left his face. “Oh- kaaay...” Y/n was standing right in front of him with a cheeky grin on her lips. He leaned in and kissed her. It was finally happening. Their lips danced together, it felt like they had rehearsed the dance for so long yet in reality they were very new to each other.

The make out session with Y/n was all it took to break Billy. He was in love and he couldn’t deny it. As their passion turned rough and intense, he thought of how happy he felt and how he wouldn’t normally feel that with a girl.

They finally pulled away. Billy’s arms were around Y/n and one of her hands was on his shoulder, her arms laying loosely, and her other was clutching his side under his arm.

“Were you just gonna...bring the blanket from your bed?”

“I guess...” Her voice was soft, unlike her previous dead tone. Billy managed to shatter her “hardcore” exterior with a simple make out session. Or so he thought, if you asked anyone what they thought, they’d say Y/n managed to break him within their first conversation and then decided to let him in after touching her lips to his.

“Maybe we should...both get under it...since we’re both so cold...”

“What about our tea?”

Of course. The tea. Billy didn’t give a fuck about the tea. “I can...not have tea.”

The night went on with passion and...lust. They stripped down to their underwear and continued making out on Y/n’s bed. At some point they got under the blankets and Y/n leaned over Billy to continue their rough kissing. When it was “just about to get good”, Y/n pulled away from Billy.

“I changed my mind.”

“...changed it from what?”

“I don’t want to have sex with you Hargrove.” She moved over beside Billy, laying on his arm and snuggling into his side. “Not right now.”

Another, “Oooh- kay?” escaped Billy’s mouth. As usual, he didn’t know if he should feel hurt, angered or just plain okay with it. He longed for Y/n. She was his addiction, better than any drug. In his mind, he made the exception; feel bad about it later, stay with her for now.

“It’s not like I’m gonna send you home in this weather or anything, you can sleep in my bed. And I reserve the right to change my mind about the sex later.” At least he had a chance.

“This is...nice. Just this...” He was referencing their semi-cuddling forms. “It’s been like, a really long time so I think I needed this...whatever it is so...thank you.”

Y/n leaned over and kissed his cheek, “You’re welcome.” He wrapped his arms around her when she wrapped one of her arms around his neck.

. . .

Billy and his basketball team were just having some harmless fun. It was a game, and school was out for the day. No one could do anything bad, right? Wrong.

Read to show off, Billy brought the new girl to the gym. Max was dragged along since Billy was her ride home. He and his team were horribly distracted by the pretty girl now known as Billy’s first official girlfriend. Scowls and mean looks were given to Y/n by the other girls at school, purely out of jealousy. This morning, Y/n was walked down the hall of Hawkins’ high under Billy’s arm, wolf whistles and more sounded around them.

A weird looking guy stormed into the room, “MR. HARGROVE. IT IS I, MATTHEW PATEL. CONSIDER OUR FIGHT,” Y/n looked horrified. She was pale and breathing unsteadily. The guy who had announced himself to be Matthew moved his head slightly, nodding his hair out of his face. “BEGUN!”

He ran at Billy. ‘What is this kid on?’ Time felt like it was moving in slow motion. “What did I do...?” His voice was slow. He really was moving in slow motion. “What do I do...” Matthew launched himself into the air with his fist raised. He aimed himself to punch at Billy.

Tommy gripped the shoulders of the boys next to him, leaning forward and yelling with entertainment. “Fight!”

Billy’s eyebrows furrowed. His fists clenched. He threw the basket ball to the side and shifted to a fighting stance. He blocked Matthew’s punch with his arm and reversed their roles. He swung his fist at Matthew’s face, somehow knocking him to the side of the room. Tommy, Max and Y/n’s eyes widened, as well as everyone else’s in the room.

Matthew still refused to give up. He jumped in front of Billy, “Alright! Alright...”

Max yelled from the bleachers. “Watch out!” They all turned to her. “It’s that one guy.”

“Ha!” Matthew smiled mischievously and ran at Billy again. Sadly, some people just don’t learn from their mistakes. Billy threw an uppercut to Matthews chin, sending him flying to the back of the room. Billy got in some extra punches while Matthew was still down. The two landed in front of each other, most of the people in the gym now gathered around them.

Matthew blew dust off his shoulders and turned to Billy before laughing a laugh that could’ve been mistaken for a villain’s. They started to circle each other, Mathew taking a step to the left and Billy taking a step to the right, “Well well well...you’re quite the opponent.” His neck moved left and then moved back to the right after each syllable when he said, “Hargrove.”

“Who the hell are you anyway?”

“My name,” he swung his right arm up into the air, his left clenched in a fist that met his collar bone. “is Matthew Patel! And I’m Y/n’s FIRST,” Matthew lifted his pointer finger on his left hand and moved his arm to the side. He moved his fingers so that his pinky, ring and middle fingers were out, his thumb and pointer finger touching so that the tips were smooshed together. He turned back to Billy, “evil ex boyfriend.” His shoulders moved up and down one at a time when he said boyfriend. When his hand went down, he let out a growl.

“Her what?” Everyone’s heads turned to Y/n.

She turned to Max and the other people on the right of her. Y/n nervously smiled, “Anyone need a drink?”

A fight initiated between the two boys, fists and feet being used. The grunts coming from both males were loud. Surely, at least one of them would have bruises after this.

Max made a face of massive confusion, looking around for any clues of the situation. Her older brother kept fighting the abnormal kid. After a few more swings, Billy, again, realized how confusing this really was. He wanted to ask beforehand, but this Matthew guy was really determined to teach Billy a lesson.

“Wait!” He held out his hand in a stopping motion. “We’re fighting over Y/n?” He personally had no problem with it, but the “Evil Ex” thing was getting to his head.

Matthew lowered his fist slightly, “didn’t you get my letter explaining the situation?”

“I skimmed it...”

Max squeezed her eyes shut and clicked her tongue. “Mm mm.” She shook her head with her disconfirming noise.

Matthew only seemed to grow madder. “You will pay for your INSOLENCE!” He threw kick after kick after kick, all of which were blocked by Billy. The anger fueled him to the point where Billy could only do few attacks with little time. Just as Billy was gaining the upper hand, Matthew socked him square in the face with both fists, then his right foot with a jump spinning kick.

The people in the crowd behind Billy caught him when he fell backwards from the attack, pushing him forwards and urging him to continue with the fight. Matthew backed up one foot at a time and did weird dance, finishing it off with pulling his coat forward a bit so the dust came off of it and tilting his left foot upwards.

“Hey.” Max leaned forward, gaining the attention of two boys as well as everyone else in the gym. “What’s up with his outfit?”

“Yeah. Is he a pirate?” Laughter flooded the room at Tommy’s observation.

Billy was also curious. “Are you a pirate?” He asked Matthew in a simple and genuinely asking way. Unfortunately, Matthew looked caught off guard and offended.

“Pirates are in this year!” He wasn’t shouting, but he said it with a sassy and upset tone. “Gah!” This time he did shout. His fist was aimed at Billy, and his feet were already moving forward.

More attacks were made. Billy finally did have the upper hand. After Matthew tried to hit Billy’s face again, Billy caught his arms and held them to his chest. His eyes and head turned to Y/n. He was pissed off now. “You really went out with this guy?”

Everyone faced Y/n now. “Yeah.” She stood up and leaned forward, “In the 5th grade.”

Silence. Billy looked around, waiting for her to continue. When she didn’t, he spoke up again, “And?”

She sighed. “It was football season and for some reason, all the little jocks wanted me. Matthew was the only nonwhite nonjock boy in town, so the two of us joined forces and we took 'em all down. We brawled and scrapped, fought for hours. Nothing could beat Matthew’s mystical powers. We only kissed once. After a week and a half, I told him to hit the showers.”

Matthew was full of rage. His furrowed eyebrows and reddened skin could do nothing but confirm that statement.

“Dude wait- mystical powers?” Billy was confused. Unluckily for him, Matthew took advantage of his distracted state and broke free from his grip. Music started playing in the background. Matthew pushed Billy and turned to Y/n, holding out his pointer finger and pointing at her. The veins on his forehead were bulging.

“You’ll pay for this,” He paused for a second. Y/n was visibly afraid. Her eyes were wide and her mouth was was ajar. Matthew finished his sentence with a slight raspy sound to his voice, “L/n.” He swiftly turned to Billy and started dancing and singing. It’s a cringey dance and song to say the least.

“If you want to fight me,”

Max made the same confused face as she had previously. “What!?” She knew it was dumb to pick a fight with Billy, but to sing and dance while doing so? And to get her exes together so they could fight Billy? Were they that dumb?

“Hah! You’re not the brightest.

You won’t know what hit you,

in the sligh-igh-ightest.”

He made sounds with his mouth, floating into the air. Black and white colored girls, kind of like those old animations on tv, were summoned around him. They looked like someone wanted to make demon girls but was a perverted guy who loves hipsters.

“This guy’s good-” One of the basketball team members spoke. He too was wide eyed and confused as fuck.

“Me and my fireballs,

my demon hipster chicks!”

Looks like he was right about hipsters.

“Tell ‘em Matty.” They had a seductive-like voice. With a closer look, Billy could see that their eyes were like snakes. Their teeth were sharp too.

“I’m talking thee talk,

‘Cause I know I’m slick!” He winked before his weird demons spoke again.

“S-L-ICK.”

“Fireball-balls!” He threw the fireball at Billy, who thankfully dodged it in time. Gasps were heard around the room. At least it wasn’t just Billy seeing this shit. “Take this sucker out!” More flames erupted from his hands, shooting at Billy again.

“We’ll show him

What we’re all about!”

“That doesn’t even rhyme!” Billy finished off his sentence by throwing the now broken ring from the hoop at Matthew like a frizzbe. It hit him in the head and caused him to flip backwards a bit. His demons disappeared and it was his turn for his eyes to widen.

‘This is impossible. How can this be?’

Somehow, Billy heard and responded to Matthew’s thoughts with his own, ‘Open your eyes. Maybe you’ll see.’ He jumped at Matthew and returned the punch that had formerly knocked him back into the crowd.

Though, something strange happened this time. When Billy’s fist made contact with Matthew’s skin, he slowly fell a bit, but when he hit the ground, his body turned into 9 quarters. Everyone except for Tommy, Max, Carol, Billy and Y/n continued acting normal. The difference with them and the 5 others were that they had no memory of this “Matthew Patel” or of any fight. The damage in the gym was restored, but still. The 5 of them knew what happened and didn’t know quite yet that no one else did.

“Sweet! Coins!”

“Coins that’re mine, shortstack.” Billy took the remains of Matthew from the poor kid holding them. He walked outside, following the other 4 to discuss what just happened.

[lost-eternity]

Match up requests: CLOSED

Match up for @ lunar-calliope

Okie dokie. I match you with...

Since you never specified your gender preference, I am just going to match you with anyone I think would click the best.  Because I was kind of at a loss for anyone else. First I was thinking about matching you with the 11th Doctor as his personality type ENTP would mesh perfectly with your own. However, I feel like you two would work better as friends than lovers only because the Doctors are kind of... damaged. They all really need someone who is more of a hopeless romantic and boundlessly compassionate. The doctors would continuously push you away the moment they realize their feelings are slightly more than friendship out of fear. They would need someone to tirelessly pursue them and let's be real. Ain't nobody got time for that. And I feel like you are smart enough to recognize dependency and stay the hell away from it. Because if I am being brutally honest,  all of the doctors would make a horrible relationship.  They are far too traumatized and caught up in this game of endlessly trying to prove themselves to the universe, trying to justify that all of the lives they have saved somehow makes up for the lives they've lost. Right. Let's get started. 

Here is the thing about Clara. She talks. A lot. 

She talks faster than Matt Smith, which is an achievement in of itself and is the primary reason she was cast for the role.

So she is no stranger to the fast-talking rambling that you do when you get nervous.

As a matter of fact, she might even contribute to it

So now there are two people talking their lungs out and giving the Doctor a massive headache 

She is also the type to make crude or inappropriate jokes in the heat of the moment. So you really don't have to worry about being offensive around her. She is reflective enough to recognize the hypocrisy of taking offence.

However, your introverted nature and her extroverted nature would mesh very well

She does all of the talking, allowing you some time to hang back and think or reflect

Which works out perfectly for you.

~

Clara also has a sharp tongue and steely wit. If you pulled a prank on her, she would definitely do something in retribution. And if it is allowed to escalate it most definitely would until the Doctor or someone puts a stop to the childishness. 

She would be perfectly adept as exchanging quips and playful banter with you 

~

Although she does have a reckless streak. She is up for any challenge, no matter how daunting. And this carelessness can cause you to sprout some grey hairs worrying over her. You and Doctor would be in agreement over constantly trying to keep Clara in line.

However, with something to ground herself and hold her back, I feel like Clara would be a lot more careful than she was in the show. She was free then with no one to care for or worry about. With you, she would rein herself in because she knows that you are worrying over her

She also feels some level of protection towards you. 

~

Now let's address the elephant in the room. Clara is short. She is only 157 centimetres (that's 5"2 in American)

I am a huuuge sucker for height differences. Like the more timid tall one and the short little spitfire, trope makes me swoon.

And that is kinda what you two would be

And it is so cute

Clara would want to climb on you. Or sit on your shoulders or something but because she knows how you feel about your height, she will restrain herself. Because she cares ❤ 

Which is also why I believe she will be the one to help you get over this insecurity. She would remind you that you are beautiful every day, especially when you are feeling self-confidence 

Bitch, your height makes you look like a badass!

Embrace it

She says that one day you are going to be confident enough to wear heels. And she means it

~

Clara is a huge advocate for nature. She appreciates its beauty. After all, it was nature that caused her parents to meet. How could she notice have at least a begrudging respect for it? She wouldn't have been born if it were not for the trees

So she loves forests

And being the energetic little fireball that she is, would demand to go hiking. And maybe a home-made picnic when you've reached your destination 

~

But Clara is also boundlessly compassionate. As a companion of the Doctor,  she harbours a deeply empathetic nature behind those quips and bluster. 

Which I think perfectly dampens your more judgemental mindset. You would be the more cynical one, wary of those who you encounter. And Clara would be the one to have faith in their inherent goodness.

While I can see this giving rise to some conflicts,  I think that it is a necessity for you. You need someone to act as your counterweight and achieve that balance. 

Clara is your foil. You keep her grounded and logistical and in return, she will open your mind. She will help you work on dispelling preconceived notions and embrace the individuality of everyone 

This is the main reason I chose Clara for you. Rory was also a possible match but I don't have the heart to take him from Amy lol.

~

You two probably knew each other before. Although not well 

Maybe she was in one of your college classes. Or even an old student who attended the same High School

Regardless of what it was, you kinda thought that she was obnoxious 

Near constantly blabbering about once thing or another 

Kind of annoying really 

Anyways. You were sitting at your favourite cafe reading a rather engaging book when you heard a loud bang originating from outside. 

Curiously,  you peered out the window and noticed a throng of people running away...

So naturally, you went to investigate. 

Apparently, a phone booth had fallen from the sky and struck a car. Outside of it rolled an aged looking man and a rather familiar woman.

Smoke billowing from their poofed hair as it frizzed out around them in an untamed mane.

The woman whooped loudly, pumping her arms in the air, seemingly overjoyed

The man seemed completely distraught over the condition of the phone booth. The way he was acting, you would have thought that he had lost a baby

The woman turned to you, her eyes lighting up in recognition as she called your name

You were a little confused before you also recognized her. That maniacal glint in her eye, the Cheshire Grin. This was Clara. From school.

Great

Clara approached you, asking how you have been while the man stalked around his phone booth, buzzing some sort of glowing stick at it

You were kind of at a loss for words.

Like. This girl you haven't seen in literal years just fell out of the sky in a box and has the audacity to ask YOU how things are going 

You couldn't get a word out before the man approached, saying that it may take a few days for him to fix the TARDIS before interrupting himself to ask "oh. Who's your friend?"

Clara introduces you before you have a chance to introduce yourself. The man introduced himself as "the Doctor"

The egotism is not lost on you. It's kinda self-righteous to add a "the" before your own name. And then not even use a real name. As though this man were the only good doctor in the world

You never do get his real name

First, Clara asks you what year it is. When you respond, both she and the Doctor appear confused than relieved. Then Clara casually asks if they can crash at your place for a few days

And you are dumbfounded like. "Uh... no?" Clara, who you haven't seen in years, fell out of the sky with some rando-stranger,  for heaven's sake. 

You basically tell them no unless they want to tell you to want is going on

The Doctor, seeing no other alternative, explains what the TARDIS is and who he is

And now you are CONVINCED that these two knuckleheads are high off their asses

Apparently not because before you know it, Clara is dragging you into the TARDIS before you can even fight back

You were gonna start screaming for help but what you found took your breath away

"It's bigger on the inside!"

The doctor laughs. "I love it when they say that."

So your brain is understandable fried

Like. What?

You have to go out and pace around the TARDIS a few times before passively accepting whatever lunacy you had just gotten yourself into 

Meanwhile, both Clara and the Doctor watch you in amusement 

~

Long story short, you agree to let them spend the night while the Doctor fixes his little machine

What else were you supposed to do?

Two TIME TRAVELLERS appeared at your doorstep needing your help. You can't just refuse that... right?

So as the Doctor tirelessly worked on his time machine, you and Clara spent the whole night talking

She had so many incredible and quite frankly unbelievable stories to tell

Your earlier notions about her were slowing beginning to assuage the more she spoke

You couldn't believe that she would be foolish enough to take off and go travelling the universe with a guy whose name she didn't even know.

You two actually hit it off quite nicely and exchanged numbers to keep on contact 

The three days it took to finish the TARDIS came all too quickly for you

Although not quickly enough for the Doctor who apparently was damn near close to losing his mind due to staying stationary for so long

Like. It's been three days. Dude. Chill. 

Not only was he rash and egotistical, he was also impatient and had the attention span of a gnat. You were kinda wondering how Clara put up with him

Despite your qualms about the Doctor, you really did not want them to leave

These two people... well, one person and one alien, were the most exciting thing that has ever happened to you in your dull life. Everything you ever were excited for paled in comparison to the tales that Clara had revealed to you. It really put a damper on well... everything 

How could you be excited to go on a trip to Italy when you knew that there was an AMUSEMENT PARK on the dark side of the moon!!!! 

How could you be content living, working, and dying knowing that there are entire solar systems of intelligent peoples with cultures, festivities, and ideologies completely different to your own that you would never get to see

You couldn't 

It was simple as that

So you asked them if you could go on a trip with them

The Doctor adamantly refused, saying that it was best for you to forget you ever met them

You were persistent. Saying that you fed and housed them for three days. That is a massive favour. One trip would be the least he could do

Clara agreed with you and the two of you turned these adorable pleading puppy eyes on the Doctor

He finally acquiesced.

You were absolutely ecstatic 

~

You three went to a faraway solar system and participated in some kind of elaborate festival which quickly turned awry 

Clara had to give up her most prized possessions to please some kind of God

And the Doctor? The doctor would have died if it weren't for you and your quick wit

You are actually quite handy to have around

So the doctor, upon dropping you off, promised that he and Clara would occasionally swing by to take you with them

But warned you not to get too involved. Those that do often end up dead or worse. Usually worse.

~

Well. For a time traveller, the Doctor has piss poor time management skills and it is years before you ever see him and Clara again

Clara apologized profusely as she blamed the Doctor for screwing up the time dial thingy again 

To make up for the lost time, you three embark on a lot of adventures in quick succession of one another

This is when you find yourself beginning to fall for Clara

You become a staple companion of the Doctor and Clara but unfortunately, fate can be quite cruel

~

As it turns out, Clara is set to die

She has to. It’s a fixed point in time

Of all the moments you thought you were going to lose her, this one scared you the most

The Doctor and you did everything possible to change the timeline, nearly breaking it in the process

But it did not matter. Clara was supposed to die.

And as her heartbeat its last beat, you found yourself deeply regretting all of the hours spent with the Doctor. Because if it were not for him, Clara would be allowed to live 

Well. If it were not for him, you would have never met...

The Time Lords themselves had to step in and fix the situation. Because the Doctor had managed to extract Clara the moment she died. She technically was dead. Her heart no longer beat. But her mind still functioned. Rendering her practically immortal..

As a last-ditch effort to save her, the Doctor vowed to erase her memories. 

Panicked, Clara reversed the polarities of the sonic glasses and ended up erasing the Doctor's memories of her. 

She turned, ready to do the same to you but just couldn't manage 

Instead, she broke down sobbing.

The two of your abandoned the Doctor, taking his TARDIS and going back in time to steal a previous edition of the TARDIS. Before the chameleon circuit broke down. 

You dropped the Doctor off somewhere safe and then with your own personal TARDIS, travelled to Nevada

Clara admitted that she still had to die. And it would be wise to return to the Time Lords and allow herself to be returned into the time stream, meeting her final death

You were absolutely devastated

But Clara assured you that she had some wiggle room. The two of you could "take the long way around". She did not have to go immediately 

At this realization, you smiled.

She was right. You were in no rush to return to Gallifrey. Why not enjoy some sights along the way?

And that was how you scored your own TARDIS and began to travel the universe, Clara by your side. You two had the craziest adventures and remained by each other's side until you withered from old age and died.

Clara, being technically immortal, hadn't aged a day. But she had a lifetime to come to terms with your future death and solemnly returned to Gallifrey. 

She did not speak a word as the Time Lords showed her to her final resting spot. The last thing she uttered was "goodbye, y/n" before returning herself to the void

And finally meeting death 

Wow. Why are my Doctor Who matchups always so depressing?

[gay-slime]

Tw: long. Abt dysphoria and trans-ness and all that nasty crap that I need to clarify to the transmeds I wasn’t able to weed out going through my followers for the past hour.

[[MORE]]

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<p/>Being trans sucks and my dysphoria kicks my ass daily. I am that “perfect transman” that transmeds seem to idolize in their near impossible standards. I can’t stand looking in a mirror because my hips are visible to me in anything I wear, and days I don’t wear my binder due to health requirements and breathing issues are hell on earth. I think I even got a slightly indented rib from biding with ace bandages for a year plus when I first got my hands on it. I’ve lived with the hate of my gender since I started noticing I was developing, and twice as much when it started being noticed by others too. I was at the ripe age of 10 when I got my period, and I was a B cup in fifth grade. It only got worse from there when I ended up being a E cup in my second year in highschool. It only took until I even knew I had a OPTION to change my gender that I realized I was trans at age aprox 12. I impulsively cut my hair to a pixie when I was 13 and never went back. I’ve hated being called a girl since I was a kid and it’s only gotten worse the longer it’s gone on. I dress like a dude and I can pass if I’m having a good day on rare occasions. I plan on getting top -and- bottom surgery in the future, and I hope I can get on T relatively soon if I’m lucky because I have been medically dxed with dysphoria from every therapist I’ve seen.

But, If you met me, and didn’t know me, even if I was binding you’d immediately read me as a girl. Hell, most days I can’t even wear my binder or dress “masculinely” because my dad just doesn’t agree with me being trans in the first place. But that doesn’t give anyone reign to decided if I’m trans or not. Why in any circumstance would you look at someone who has told you they prefer he/him because it alleviates at least a fraction of the discomfort or gives them a smidgen of joy, and then say flat to their face that they’re not allowed to want that? Why in any world would you think it’s okay to then go out of your way to misgender them and make them feel like shit just because you can’t physically see that they’re “trying” hard enough (when honestly it can range from transphobic family members to just the sheer enjoyment of something traditionally not in line with their trans identity.)?

Because even now, if I dare to post a selfie where I’ve got on eyeliner because I like how it makes my eyes pop, and I put “he/him” in the caption or tag to make myself feel even okay with posting it; I’ll get a transmed in my messages asking me why I’m “faking it” and “ruining the trans community” - or hell, my personal favorite: a “cishet girl who wants to be special and call [myself] a gay man.” But the second I say that I have dysphoria and it’s because I literally can’t breathe with my binder on if I get a anxiety spike (which happens often) due to my fucked up rib or that a number of people in my life are transphobic, it’s suddenly “okay” that I don’t wear it. Because when you’re doing it for health reasons it’s “okay”. Because if you’re doing it because it’s a danger to you it’s “okay.” But the thing is; I shouldn’t have to say that in the first place! Why do I need to expose my personal life to be a “okay” transdude? What gives anyone the right to dictate whether or not you’re “allowed” to be trans? And who’s to care if I didn’t have those reasons? What if I just didn’t want to wear it that day because it restricts my movement! What if it’s hot and I just don’t wana be sweaty! Does that make me a “faker” too? What about the men who just want to experiment in different clothing that are more traditionally “female”? Can I not do that too? Why is it that a cis man is “allowed” to be feminine, but a trans man is not?

There’s a million and one loopholes around that kind of “but u have to have dysphoria and dress like a man in every way you can!!!” mentality that 99% of them have. And I would know!! Because I use to be a transmed myself!!! But you know why I’m not now? Because I destroyed that wall I built up around myself telling myself that if I was just “trying” hard enough and I “felt like shit about myself” hard enough I would be a “real trans man”. That horrible “well if I wear a binder every day and I try every day all day even if it hurts me people will think I’m a real boy!!!” thought process almost killed me before I changed my thoughts on the matter.

Dying your hair doesn’t make you no longer trans. Not being able to, or not even wanting to, wear a binder daily doesn’t make you not trans enough. Not doing literally above and beyond doesn’t make you a faker. Dysphoria isn’t a necessity if you get euphoria from using the right pronouns for you. Dysphoria isn’t something that every single person will feel is debilitating. Dysphoria isn’t this little token word that you can use to prove if someone’s “trans enough” for fucks sake! The only thing you honestly fucking need to be trans? The want to change your gender! That’s it! That’s what you need. If you got that disconnect from your birth assignment, then you can change it! Congratulations! You’ve done it! You’re trans!!!!!!!!!!!

But for fucks sake. Please. Don’t try to dictate whether or not someone is trans. You don’t know their circumstances and you really don’t need to. It’s not your buisness. Ever. And if you’re one of those assholes who likes to pick and choose who you think is a “real” trans person? Who likes to go out of their way to message trans people who you don’t think are “trans enough” or are “faking it” in any situation? Get the hell away from me. I’ve delt enough with it for someone who’s dealt with dysphoria nearly my whole life.<p/>

[propertyofnikkisthighs]

Cigarettes and Regret (Mostly Nikki X Reader, but Tommy X Reader hinted)

Hi I’m posting another one shot. Again please be gentle with me cause I’m sensitive, but let me know if you like this. Thank you to anyone who takes the time to read these honestly 

Warnings: Alcohol use, drug use, smut (not incredibly vulgar, but it’s there)

Tommy must have thought you were an idiot. News flash: you weren’t. You were aware of the groupies shared between him and the other guys in the band, you just didn’t care. Tommy was a great boyfriend besides not being able to keep it in his pants for more than an hour. You were at one of the band’s many infamous parties at their disgusting apartment, god why did you and all these people come here to party? Oh yeah, the drugs, plus where else could all these degenerates gather? This apartment was the only place grimey enough to allow for the excess of illegal activity. You looked around the sea of spray painted hair to see if you could locate your particular fluff ball instead seeing the only platinum blonde in a sea of black. Vince. A safety net. You let out a relieved breath and walked up to him and the red head clinging to his arm.

“Hey Vince have you seen Tommy?” You asked shouting over the music a little bit.

“Tommy uhhhh, no, no I haven’t seen him (y/n)” Vince was lying and if you had to guess by the red head’s sudden interest in the ground that he was probably with her friend in the bathroom, his favorite hook up spot.

“Do us both a favor and don’t lie for your friend Vince” You chuckled humorlessly grabbing the whiskey out of his hand. You weren’t a big drinker, but some nights called for it. You decided tonight would be your night to let loose and actually enjoy one of these parties. Usually you had a beer and smoked a bit of weed and scraped your boyfriend off the floor or off another girl when you particularly had enough, but tonight you were gonna be reckless.

“Vinnie” You said as sweetly as you could “You got any pot?”

“Nah all I have is blow and I know you don’t do that. I’m sorry” He did look sympathetic.

“You know what?” You mulled it over “Fuck it. I’ll do the blow”

“Wait really?!” Vince seemed to be excited “Hold on I’m gonna grab Sixx so he can witness this too.” And with that he was gone. Leaving you with the red head and an air of awkward silence.

“Um I’m sorry” She finally spoke. You felt bad for her kind of in a way, all she wanted to do was fuck the lead singer of Motley Crue and her friend just wanted to fuck the drummer. It’s not like any of them could’ve had an idea that Tommy was your boyfriend.

“Dude don’t worry about it” You laughed out “I’m fully aware of the type of person my boyfriend is and that’s why I go to the free clinic like clockwork to be tested” You joked.

“No way! (Y/N) is finally gonna party with the big dogs?” Nikki shouted suddenly behind you and shaking your shoulders. You wished you could stop the blush creeping up your neck from his close proximity, but you were powerless so you chugged some whiskey to have an excuse for the flush.

“It’s not that exciting guys” You said around giggles. You really did love all the guys so much which was another reason you didn’t leave Tommy. You were afraid if things ended between you two then the band would have no reason to maintain a friendship with you and you cherished these friendships. Also Nikki’s green eyes gave you heart palpitations, but that was besides the point.

“(Y/N) you never do more than smoke a joint with us. This is a special moment” Vince beamed at you. 

“So are you guys gonna do the blow with me or are you gonna talk about me doing the blow?” You were getting fidgety in anticipation and just wanted to get this over with so you could have it under your belt. 

Nikki got the lines together on an upside down top hat cymbal from Tommy’s drum kit. How fitting. He rolled up a dollar and did a line showing you what to do then handed the dollar saying he’d hold the cymbal since you’re a beginner. You took a deep breath and released it before mimicking Nikki’s actions on the (much smaller) line he had made for you. The first thing you noticed was that your throat and tongue felt numb and you kinda panicked a little before you remembered that they warned you of that. The second thing was that you were very alert and aware of everything happening around you.

“Woah” You said quietly to mostly yourself.

“So how do you feel?” Nikki asked with almost childlike enthusiasm.

“Honestly I feel like dancing” You laughed out.

“Well come on I’ll dance with you until T-Bone gets back” Nikki said pulling you to your feet with him. He handed the cymbal to Vince who did a little before wrapping his arm around the red head and leading her to his bedroom. You shook your head at him despite knowing he couldn’t see you. Vince was such a slut. 

“Fair warning that I am a horrible dancer” Nikki laughed placing his hands on your waist and swaying you guys a bit.

“You’re telling me that you’re a bass player without rhythm?” You couldn’t help but poke fun at him. The coke was making you feel things more intently and his hands on your waist were raising goosebumps in their wake.

“I’m telling you that I’m a bass player with two left feet. My hands work perfectly fine” He winked at you and you gulped. Nikki on occasion harmlessly flirted with you this wasn’t anything new why did you feel so awkward about it now? You figured it was the drugs and alcohol in your system making you feel funny.

“If your hands work so great why is my boyfriend fucking a groupie in the bathroom and you’re not?” You regretted saying that once the words left your mouth and you saw Nikki grimace.

“Can we not? I don’t want to get involved.” He had a point and you soured your own mood by bringing it up.

“I need a cigarette” You said abruptly and left Nikki standing there while you grabbed the whiskey bottle again and head out the window. You leaned against the railing near a few other people who were smoking outside and lit your own cigarette. You couldn’t understand why you couldn’t leave well enough alone. You and Nikki were having a great time why did you have to bring up Tommy cheating. You blew out smoke into the night air and watched it float into the sky wishing you could do the same thing when you heard a lighter spark right next to you. Turning toward the sound you saw Nikki leaned on the railing as well. He didn’t say anything just took the whiskey bottle and drank some before passing it back to you. This continued until your cigarettes were finished, you both just sitting in the comfortable silence. It was only when you turned to say something to him that you realized he had been staring at you the whole time.

“Why do you stay?” The question wasn’t mean, but it still felt like he punched her in the stomach by asking it.

“Tommy is the nicest guy I’ve ever dated.” You answered honestly “He isn’t perfect and he loves other women more than I would like, but he is sweet and kind and is one of my best friends”

“Do you ever want to be selfish like he is?” He had turned his body toward you and you felt the nervous energy you got around him again.

You took a swig of whiskey and thought about your answer “If I found someone to be selfish with then maybe I would take a page from his book” You faced him and fixed him with a stare. His tongue darted out to lick his lips and your mouth felt very dry. You took a drink from the bottle again and offered it to him so he could take a drink.

“There’s nobody here you like?” Did he just scoot closer to her?

“Well I didn’t say that” He definitely scooted closer to her that time.

“Then what did you mean?” That damn tongue darting out again.

“Well I don’t know if the person I like likes me back” You whispered.

“Why don’t you ask him?” He was looking down at her with something unreadable in his eyes.

“Who said it was a he?” You teased.

Nikki snaked his arm around your waist pulling you toward him. “Hmm I’m just guessing” He smirked and leaned closer “Who is it? You should ask if they like you too”

You decided now was as good a time as any to be brave. “Okay. Nikki do you like me too?”

Nikki didn’t respond. Just closed the distance that had been there between your lips and molded his against yours. You didn’t know if it was the drugs, alcohol, or if Nikki was just that great of a kisser; but the kiss was the best one you had received ever in your life. You wrapped your arms around his neck and leaned your body against his while his hand tangled in your hair. He flicked his tongue against your bottom lip and you parted yours against his to allow him entry. He tasted like Jack, cigarettes, and regret but you couldn’t afford to care. Before you knew it he had you pressed against the wall while his busied his mouth with yours. You broke away to catch your breath and Nikki grinned. 

“Does that answer your question?” He asked out of breath.

You gasped as Nikki snapped his hips into yours from his position behind you. This wasn’t like with Tommy who would kiss all over your body and look into your eyes, this was animalistic. Nikki grabbed a handful of your hair and continued to wreck you. You could feel tears pricking at your eyes and you clawed at the sheets on his bed. You were doing everything you could to not let out the high pitched noises your body was dying to release at his actions and he knew it. You felt him lean down and kiss your shoulder blade softly before biting it roughly surely leaving a bruise that you’d have to explain to Tommy tomorrow. His hand left your hair and snaked down to rub your clit in time with his thrusts. You could feel yourself get closer and closer to your release. 

“Nikki please” You cried out.

“Cum babygirl” He panted out

“Oh fuck!” You felt the first ripples of pleasure crashing over your body and that apparently was enough to send him over the edge because he pulled out and you felt him finish on your back while you continued to ride out your high on his fingers. Nikki grabbed his shirt off the ground and half ass rubbed his release off of your back before he flopped over and pulled you flush to his chest.

“So?” He asked nuzzling into your neck.

“So how did being selfish for once taste?” He chuckled tiredly.

“Hmm like cigarettes and regret” You replied the smirk evident in your voice.

Nikki chuckled some more kissing a few more spots on your neck before pulling the skin between his teeth.

“NIKKI!”

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #263

laptop is still broken, nvm. :’)

Do you have a favorite song by The Cure? "Sweet Soul Sister." (': Are there things you've never told for fear that others would judge you? Yep. Can sex ever be casual? I personally don't support it, but ultimately, so long it's consensual, protected, and both parties understand what's going on, you do you. Would you like to go on television to receive a make-over? Not on TV, no. It'd be awesome to see myself after a professional makeup, but I ain't going on TV to show my ugly face. What will no one ever see you do? Smoking. Are you quick to anger? Rarely. Are you slow to forgive? Not really. Usually. What do you need help with? Being an adult, lmao. Do you take the easy way out of things? More often than I'd like... What is your favorite fabric to wear? *shrugs* I don't pay attention to the fabric I wear, really. Do you still make a wish when you blow out your birthday candles? C'mon dude, you've got to! I don't believe in wishes increasing your odds of anything, but it's a must anyway! Do you look for four leaf clovers? Just casually when I'm walking or sitting outside. What are you the guardian of? My pets! Are you for or against censoring child pornography? I've seen many stupid questions in surveys. But this is the absolute dumbest. What the fuck is wrong with you. Are naked child images in paintings more acceptable than photographs of naked children? GENERALLY, yes, but it really depends on the artistic portrayal. None should be sexualized. Now that we can create such lifelike digital images, do you think it should be allowed for digital child pornography to exist (as in there were no children involved in the porn, it is all digitally made, the kids aren't real, they just look real)? Absofuckinglutely not. The concept is absolutely repulsive. Enough with these fucking questions. Do you like Wheel of Fortune or Jeopardy better? Wheel of Fortune, ig. Jeopardy is pretty boring to me. What is your favorite tarot deck? I don’t know enough about tarots to comment. How do you feel about Wicca and Paganism? IT'S SUPER SUPER INTERESTING AND COOL AND I LOVE LEARNING ABOUT IT!!!! I relate most to Neo-Paganism anyway, so I obviously don't mind them. Wicca especially is a very, very misconstrued religion that has just been horribly abused by the media. Do you believe that people who practise the above religions are able to accomplish magic? No, I don't. If you were given the opportunity to lead a creative writing program for a small group of students in a high school with a low budget in generally poor neighborhood, would you do it? No, but only because I could never been a teacher. Sounds fun otherwise. Should high school cafeterias stop serving twinkies and other fatty foods? BIIIIITCH whose HS sells Twinkies????? I need to know?????? Anyway, no, but I believe there must be mostly actually nutritional options. Let kids have the chance to have a little snack during a boring 'ole school day. What band is so romantic that anyone who listens to them must be romantic at heart? BOY Josh Groban. Have your gods and idols let you down? The Christian god did. What do you waste? Whew... time... time. When was the last time that you were neither going to school or working for a month or more? Currently. Ugh. What is your light at the end of the tunnel? The potential of a beautiful future. Speaking of the light, is the light that people see when they die the random firing of electrons or is it something more? Good question. I lean towards it being a natural phenomenon as everything shuts down, BUT I find the reincarnation/birth canal theory to be quite interesting. I don't really believe it, but hey, who the hell am I to decide if it is or not. If you were going to have a mural painted in your bed room what would you want it to be of? A scene of meerkats probably. Is sex more about fulfilling a need or giving yourself? Giving yourself. Do you like your belly? FUCK NO. Do you think more or act more? Think, sadly. Should there be a mandatory retirement age? Of course not. You work all you want boo. What's the craziest thing you've ever done on impulse that worked out well? This is gonna sound... very bad, but my suicide attempt. It made things abundantly clear I needed serious help. It led to my partial hospitalization program. Do you have any exercise tapes or DVDs? No but OH MY GOD this made me remember my lil sister used to a Barbie one that we followed lmaoooo. Does the sound of crickets bother you? No, I quite enjoy it actually. Is the sound of a fan on at night soothing? Yessss. How do you feel you will likely die? I really don't know, but probably cancer-related. Recent events have made it abundantly clear it does in fact run in our family, and genetic testing because of Mom's cancer revealed that at least through her, my sisters and I are susceptible to pancreatic, breast, and ovarian cancer. Once this virus passes over, we're all getting tested for free to get an understanding of what hell Dad gave us lmao. Have you ever been slapped in the face? No. How about punched? Yeesh, no. That was something unique about you as a child? I was CRAZY about dinos for the average little girl. Have you ever come up with a memorable quote? Not really. What is something interesting about where you live? The town is like, really, really old. Downtown looks right out of an old movie. Were you breastfed as a baby? Yeah. If you’ve lost your virginity, what was your first time like? I don't remember it because it didn't really register what we were doing was sex. I still don't know today if you could call it sex since it was really dry humping through thin clothes, but it sounds close enough. What do you think about masturbation? You do you boo. Is it sometimes better than the real thing? I don't think so, though I only had a brief episode where I did it when I was put on a new birth control that made my hormones like so, so far beyond control. I stopped that shit sooo fast. I got almost nothing out of it, honestly. Intimacy is a two-person job for me. Who do you think about most? Jason, whether I want to or not. Favorite way to pamper yourself? Go to bed early lol. What's your most expensive piece of clothing? I don't have a clue. I don't really have expensive stuff. What was your last big achievement? Ugh... I'm not the person to ask. I haven't made any big ones even semi-recently. Have you ever had a "false alarm" moment, what was it about? Oh sure. The first time that comes to mind was when I thought Venus was dying once when she had a series of horrible coughing/gagging fits a long time ago. We took her to the vet with the risk of a respiratory infection, but she was clear, thankfully. I think she had early signs, though. Do you know how to ride a bike? Ye. If you were in the hospital who are the two people you'd want by your side? Mom of course, and it'd be nice if Sara was there if she was at all capable of that, but I'm fine w/ just Mom. If you could ever take a street sign, what sign do you want? Well, I wouldn't, but probably "stop" bc that applies to a lot in my life, lmao. Have you ever not returned something you borrowed and if so what was it? I don't think so? When you pack your lunch, what's your favorite packed lunch? Usually just a good 'ole pb&j. :') What was the one most important thing you learned from your parents? Take care of your goddamn relationship. Talk shit out instead of yelling. Work together. Never neglect the reason you're with each other. Have you done something you worry could come back to haunt you, what? No, because I don't believe in karma. If you had to build a small ark, what 7 animals would you save? Those with the biggest ecological impact, like bees and spiders, for example. I wouldn't be very happy with all my choices while all other animals perished, but you've gotta think of what comes next. Out of just selfishness I'd obviously have to spare a spot for meerkats, aha. They'd help with the bug control, though! I don't know about the other four, though; I'd have to think real hard on 'em. What is something your parents love that you actually love too? Classic rock and metal. Has anyone ever said "I love you" and you couldn't say it back? I firmly remember this is how I ended that childish shit with Joel. He said it and I couldn't. Have you ever ridden a camel? No. What's been the hardest loss you've had to take? Jason. What emotion is your least favorite and the one you are not in touch with? Fear, of course. No one likes being afraid. I'm not all that in touch with greed at all. Do you think facial moles or freckles are cute? I don’t mind 'em. Sometimes they're super-duper cute. Would you ever pick up a hitchhiker? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I don't trust strangers for shit. If you're searching for a relationship, where is your go-to place to look? I don't really "look" anywhere. What book have you read multiple times? I lost count of how many times I've read Meerkat Manor: Flower of the Kalahari. Granted, in subsequent reads, I would skip over the HUGE tangent chunks that were entirely unrelated to meerkats. I seriously remember one long-ass section was like a goddamn essay on why smaller animals tend to have unnaturally large testicles like I don't fucking care talk about Flower again. I think I only decided to read it in full two times, but maybe not even that. Do you keep a budget? I don't have the income to do so. Have you ever test driven a car you knew you weren't going to buy? No, never test-drove anything. What do you have a hard time visualizing? There's a number of things, but this one thing is weird shit: I can't picture my old therapist. Even when I saw her every month, I could almost NEVER visualize her in my head. She's a fucking cryptid or something, paranormal shenanigans is going on here. She's the only person I know where I have that problem. What makes you feel uncomfortable in group settings? I worry I'll make myself look stupid in front of everyone. What was your worst date ever? I don't feel like I've really had a bad one. I've had one that did nooooot go according to plan and I know the average girl would've been annoyed, but I'm actually an understanding human being who found the adventure fun in the end. Basically a flat tire, a sketchy tire place, and a lot of walking happened lmao. Tyler felt fucking awful, felt bad for him. Have you ever gotten in a bidding war on Ebay, if so for what item? HAHA yeah, though it was technically Mom, but she had me keep an eye on it. I remember Parasite Eve took some battling to get. I think maybe a Legend of Spyro game, too? Are you supportive of your friends even if you don't agree with them? So long it's not literally insane or stupid, usually. It really does depend. What did you think was stupid until you tried it? Hm. I'm not sure. What subject do you and your parents never see eye to eye on? Religion. I keep most of my beliefs to myself now. Where do you see yourself in 1 year's time? Honestly, I don't want to ponder and picture this. What is your favorite type of seafood? I only like shrimp. What triggers your inner shopaholic? HA, do tattoos count? See cool ones, and then I'm planning (more than only always...) tons of new ones I want and will just be DYING (ALSO more than always lakdjfwe) to go to the parlor. What public figure do you disagree with the most? I really can't say considering I'm just not educated enough here. What is your opinion on rats as pets? They are absolutely wonderful! Smart, sweet, and very clean despite their stigma. I've had quite a few. What is something you're afraid to try? Sky diving, the Tower of Terror ride. ;___; That kinda stuff. What song makes you dance uncontrollably? None. Do you like nachos, if so what topping is a MUST have? Cheese is all I really need for nachos. Do you have any subscriptions? Yes, to Adobe Creative Cloud. Which is better, Mario or Sonic? Mario games are cute, Sonic's make me cringe - I've watched enough Game Grumps to know lmao. I hate hate hate cringe culture, like let people enjoy whatever, but I absolutely cannot stop my cringe reaction to some shit. I don't judge the people that enjoy whatever it is, though. THAT pisses me off. Who is the most creative person you know? I've known Sara and Connie much too long to not say them. They have such vast imaginations. Besides a pickle, what is your favorite thing pickled? I've actually never tried anything pickled, I think... no wait. Aren't jalapenos? Well there, jalapenos. What did you do for your 21st birthday? If not, 21 what are your plans? I had my normal therapy sessions in the mental hospital lmfao. It's unfortunate, but I do have fond memories of the day. Everyone was so damn sweet, and the friend I made there even got in touch with one of the lunch ladies, who literally went to go buy me a slice of cake. She and the other employees in the kitchen brought it out at dinner, and everyone sang happy birthday. I think I remember tearing up just because it was so goddamn sweet, but also bittersweet in that I was in a fucking mental institution for my BIGGEST birthday. When I got out, Colleen bought me a red velvet cake to "make up for it," ha ha. I miss her every now and then alsdkjf;wae. Are you a role model for anyone in your life? Oh, I doubt it. Do you think you need to slow down and enjoy life more? I don't need to go any fucking slower in my life. Can you impersonate anyone famous? I don't believe so. Never really tried anyone. What is your favorite salty snack? Spicy Cheetos mmmmmmmmmMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM What is your favorite restaurant? Olive Garden for sit-down, Sonic for fast food. Have you ever been in a play for school? In elementary school. I never had a big roll, though. Do you wish you had more friends? Very much. What is the main character’s name in the book you’re reading? Aunt Lydia. Which famous author would you like to meet? I'm not particularly interested in any. Which artist would you like to meet? Hey hey hey. Mark's brother is a comic artist. Meet him, one step closer to meeting God Himself. (ง ͡ʘ ͜ʖ ͡ʘ)ง Which singer would you like to meet? OZZY sobs What celebrity do you have a crush on? Anyone who's even heard about a hint of my Markiplier obsession knows I would fuck him into oblivion. When you were in middle school, were you in love with someone you never talked to? No, I didn't romantically love anyone. Do you believe that there is an unseen spirit realm? I do. Martini, margarita, or sangria? YO STOP I'm weak with these things. I can't pick. Do you feel you are extremely gifted but no one appreciates you? No. I honestly feel like people have more faith in what I'm capable of than deserved. What Lisa Frank character is your favourite? The angel cat, probably. Or tiger. Do you know how to use Braille? No. When you use stairs, do you usually hold the rail? Currently, I have to because of my muscle atrophy. I need help to stay steady. Have you ever worn a veil? No. Have you ever planted a tree? We actually did plant an apple tree in our front yard at my childhood home. Never grew much. Have you ever made anything with clay? A number of things from art classes. Has today been a good day? No, honestly. Have you ever fed a horse hay? Yes. Are you more likely to text "Okay", "OK" or just "K"? "'Okay.' The other two are restricted for when I am in a mood and want someone to know I am in a mood." <<<< HA HA SAME. Do you like the taste of lime? Sure. Have you ever seen a mime (in real life)? Not to my recollection. Have you ever seen a deer (in real life)? Plenty of times; whitetails are common here. Right now, what can you hear? "Game Over" by Falling In Reverse. Have you ever seen a bear (in real life)? In the zoo, yes. I think there's a possibility I have in the wild, but only from a distance? Have you ever eaten glue? No. Do you tend to buy clothes used or new? New. If you have Netflix, how many items are in your queue? N/A

[fallingin-like]

november 7

call me neil by @fox-sleeping-minyard

see which other fics i’m reviewing this month! / my review request post!

this wonderful fic follows andrew and neil in an au where they form a friendship as kids/teens after andrew dials the wrong number and accidentally calls neil. this fic is cute, but may also break your heart.

i really like the idea of them knowing each other before palmetto, even more so because they didn’t know what each other looked like! following neil around was kind of fun (even though he was running from his mob boss father with his abusive mother) and he’s so loyal to andrew, calling him even when he knew he wasn’t allowed to. i was always nervous that mary would discover that he was speaking to andrew!!

things that stood out to me:

”really, all that had happened to him was his own fault. if only he was more loveable, people wouldn’t have such a hard time with him” this is so heartbreaking!! i really can’t describe how sad this is. it makes me so mad that people out there are so awful and terrible. 

the BaBY! bless this little baby for saving andrew’s life.

i’m proud of andrew for calling the hotline! i can’t imagine how scary that must have been. although i imagine that there is safety/comfort in the anonymity that is why these hotlines are used. 

ahh even back in these days, neil/alex finding refuge on a roof (albeit a car roof). can you imagine how nervous he must of been to be talking on the phone while his mother is sleeping in the car right under him?!?

bless this part:

neil: i will fight whoever is mean to you

andrew: i am mean to me

neil: get ready to fight me then

andrew must have been like ‘what is up with this dude neil because he is changing phones every 0.2 seconds’

neil understanding andrew’s boundaries! with the bit about him asking why andrew was calling and andrew just replying no. neil didn’t insist, he just moved the conversation along, knowing that andrew would bring it up if/when he was comfortable with it. to me, this is such a huge component of why they are able to have such a close and intense relationship. they’ve spent so much time with bad people that being able to trust someone else with themselves is something special. they both respect each other and by doing that they know they can allow themselves to be vulnerable and know they will not be taken advantage of

”when he turned and looked out the window as the tube slowly started its way, he smiled and waved at the man who had been following him since he got his chocolate bars” ahh this was brilliant! i love the nonchalant way that neil did this, he’s so cheeky and it really fits with his personality in the actual books.

uGH whenever i see the name drake my heart drops. what a horrible person. even worse when they haven’t realized it yet!

I LOVE THAT NICKY AND NEIL MET IN GERMANY. it’s a real soft spot for me because no matter how much i know that the chances of this are so so tiny in real life, it’s just such a nice thought. i’d love to see something on what happens when nicky and neil realise that they met each other! i’d assume that neil would figure out first, but it would be super interesting if nicky was the one to piece it together. maybe neil somehow mentions what school he way at or their teacher and nicky is like ‘hold on a moment that seems a Little Bit Too Familiar’

hhh why didn’t andrew call for sO LOng?? 

you are actually killed me a little bit when andrew refuses to get away from cass’ place after drake touches him. i just. ahhh. at the same time, it does give us a better understanding of andrew in this universe. that even though neil is with him, he still is so stuck on staying with the spear’s and can’t be convinced otherwise. and also i think it’s really important to acknowledge that it’s improvement because andrew is sharing! he is actually telling neil about what’s happening instead of keeping it totally to himself like in canon.

”’i didn’t expect anything else, after all they’re my family.’ andrew sounded cold and disinterested when he said this and neil believed him” NOOOOOO

cannot even imagine what andrew must have been going through in juvie. all those meds? even when they found a partly decent one he must have been absolutely miserable.i just want nice things for these boys who have gone through so much ;-;

NEIL SEEING A PICTURE OF ANDREW FOR THE FIRST TIME AHHHH also, if this is nothing like he had imagined him, what did neil imagine him to look like?

NEIL CALLING ANDREW FOR THE FIRST TIME INSTEAD OF THE OTHER WAY AROUND!!! Love the POV change, it’s amazing to see this from his side.

oh nO when neil doesn’t answer the door when andrew is knocking?? hurts so good

i find it really interesting that neil isn’t disguised? i would have thought that he would have either dyed his hair or been wearing contacts.

NEIL CRYING INTO ANDREW IS SO SOFT

at first i thought that neil seemed a bit dramatic with his reaction to seeing kevin, but then i realised that hE HAD JUST SEEN HIS MOTHER BE KILLED BY HER FATHER AND HAD TO BURY HER REMAINS ON SOME RANDOM BEACH AND THEN MET THIS PERSON HE’D BEEN TALKING WITH ONLINE FOR YEARS FOR THE FIRST TIME. and then i realised that he was almost definitely overwhelmed in that moment and quite emotional so he has good right to react that way. also kevin recognized him right away too which would be quite startling

i really liked being able to see both perspectives of what’s happening in the beginning. we get to see how andrew and neil react differently to the same situation. but it’s kind of nice you switched to only andrew’s POV after a while because it definitely added suspense/made things more confusing (in a good way. real life is very confusing, who knows what’s going on?) you did an amazing job following neil around, i appreciate all the name changes! i do wonder if neil actually referred to himself as whatever persona he was taking on at the time in his thoughts as well?

this was a really interesting read, i like the way you were able to explore the changes that occurred because neil and andrew were in contact at such a young age and were able to support each other through everything.

thanks so much for writing this!

[chaotic-yeet]

every single fucking one yobi

Hey Strawberry, you asked for this

Do you ever doubt anyone else's existence other than your own: Not really no

On a scale of 1-5 how afraid of the dark are you: 5+ I have nyctophobia so it's extremely bad for me

The person you would never want to meet: Does knowing them and no longer speaking count? An old friend of mine, I hope I never see her again

What is your favorite word: I'm actually not sure, I have a few ones I like to say because I pronounce them wrong, but I don't think I have a favorite

If you were a type of tree, what kind would you be: Maybe a birch tree? They're my favorite kind in minecraft sooo

When you looked in the mirror this morning, what did you first think: "Damn I need to wash my face more"

What shirt are you wearing:. A Mammoth one! It's dark gray, has a bear on the back and front chest area, and has blue, pink, and purple fade on it (the bi flag!)

What do you label yourself as: a fuckin bastard or dumbass thats what

Bright room or dark room: I have sensitive eyes so a dark room, but with either soft light or nightlight, I hate complete darkness

What were you doing at midnight last night: Talking to @the-strawzish-clownfish , while being on call with @psychotic-roach he had fallen asleep

Favorite age you've been so far: 13 probably, which sounds weird, but my mental health got better that year (it didn't stay that way but eh)

Who told you they loved you last: @psychotic-roach !! And I love you too (once you read this :D)

Your worst enemy: Myself and an old friend I mentioned in like, question 3

What's your current desktop picture: On my main laptop it's a Marble Hornets fanart (that I adore) and on my Chromebook it's some space doodles in the bi colors

Do you like someone: Fuck yes I do, @psychotic-roach you're fucking great and deserve the world

The last song you listened to: Deku Palace remix! I'm a huge EDM/ Trap fan, combine it with Zelda music and I'm hooked!

You can press a button to make one specific person explode, who would you pick: Old friend from before

Who would you really just love to punch in the face: Many, many people

If anyone could be your slave for the day, who would it be and what would they do: Well probably a close friend of mine, and I'd have him play smash with me and make pancakes with me (basically beg him to hang out even though it's quarantine so we can have fun again)

What's your best physical attribute: Probably my hair, it's dyed purple and used to be shaved

If you were the opposite sex for a day, what would you look like and what would you do: I'd probably look the same just taller and less curves, and I'd probably jerk off or go on some 3am walk because fuck it I can

Do you have a secret talent: I don't think so, I have a shitty memory, but not when it comes to naming ninjago episodes, @the-strawzish-clownfish can verify

What is one unique thing you're afraid of: Touching Rays, any kind, especially the ones at aquariums that come up to the tank wall that you can pet

You can only have one kind of sandwich, every ingredient is at your disposal: Well call me white, but my usual, white bread turkey and shredded cheese. That's it. I'm super lame.

You just found $100 how are you gonna spend it: Save it, I always save hundreds without hesitation

You just got a free plane ticket to go anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately: Uh, probably Georgia to see some family

Basically an Angel says I'll give you lost of booze forever be specific: Uh, fuck I dunno I don't drink, Fuckin' Crown Royal for shits and giggles why not

An island in which you can make your own rules, what's the first: Stay on your own turf unless someone allows you to come in, unless it's emergency (and I know this rule will cause problems, it's a guideline at best)

What is your favorite expletive: Tie between Bullshit and Fuck, I absolutely love those two

Your house is on fire (but everyone is okay) what one object do you grab: Well, in my current room right now? My phone, I'll still have contact with people I love and have my art (the only thing I care about in here) with me too

You can erase any horrible experience from your past: Main one, I won't actually say allowed but Roach you know what it is, but one I can put on here, Probably some embarrassing thing I did, most like everyone else

You got kicked out of your country, where would you live: GERMANY! I love the German language and I'd absolutely love to go to Germany and live with it!

Death is a good dude and says you can choose who to bring back: My cat who died a few years ago, he was an awesome cat that didn't deserved to die at 6 years old

What was your last dream about: I have super long dreams, like so much goes on in them it's like a story, too long to type out, @psychotic-roach knows it. Long story short, Pirates and apartments under water

Are you a good (insert whatever): Am I a good, fuck I dunno let's do artists because it's easy. I think I do decent enough

Have you ever been admitted to the hospital: No, only when I was a newborn in the nicu because I wasn't latching right

Have you ever built a snowman: Nope, but my friend did and I watched. His snowman was tiny and got stepped on, my friend shed a few tears

What is the color or your socks: Not wearing any right now, but usually gray

What type of music do you like: EDM AND TRAP BABYYY IF IT'S LOUD I LOVE IT

Do you prefer sunrise or sunset: Sunset definitely, I burn easy so having the nice night air slowly come over with the stars is nice for me

Favorite milkshake flavor: Chocolate!

What football team do you support: American football? None. German Bundesliga teams? Stuttgart. We were assigned teams in my German class and that was mine! Stuttgart all the way!!

Do you have any scars: Yes, many. They range from self harm, to actual cat scratches, to me falling, and many more

What do you want to be when you graduate: No idea!

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? Weight, I have bad self esteem so it's never enough

Are you reliable: Honestly, no. I have bad memory and I will forget if someone needs something

If you could ask your future self a question what would it be: How's Roach doing, and what's Oregon like?

Do you hold grudges: depends, mostly no, but sometimes yes

If you could breed two animals together and defy the laws of nature, what two would you breed: Uh good question, probably Cat and Opossum, really just to see what would happen

Most unusual conversation: Mental health stuff with my parents and therapist, more awkward than anything

Are you a good liar: Not really no depending on the person

How long could you go without talking: Well in quarantine all day, regular days though, maybe an hour at best, I absolutely love my friends, just only certain ones

What has been your worst haircut/ style: Back when it was longer than my shoulders and I wore it down. Except I never took care of it so it looked like shit.

Have you ever baked your own cake: Yes every birthday I make mine! I even had my friends help me with my most recent one!

Can you do any accent other than your own: maybe a southern one but no not really

What do you like on your toast: Nutella or cinnamon and sugar. I know, terrible for you

What is the last thing you drew a picture of: Uh me and @psychotic-roach and our pets but I'm self conscious about my art so I just didn't really show it to anyone (sorry Roach, I'm just super shy about my art!)

What would be your dream car: Me and my family had a running joke that I liked Tesla's, so probably a Tesla

Do you sing in the shower: No but I want to, I just don't like people hearing me sing

Do you believe in aliens: I believe we're not alone in the universe, weather it be new life billions of miles away or way advanced life a few galaxies away

Do you often read your horoscope: No, but astrology is fun to fuck with sometimes

What is your favorite letter of the alphabet: probably E or something, it's soothing in a weird way

Dinosaurs or dragons: DRAGONS DRAGONS I LOVE DRAGONS I'M A HUGE HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON NERD!!!

What do you think about babies: They're sweet sometimes, I'm honestly afraid of holding one or having to take care of one though

Freebie! Ask anything you can think of: I can't really think of anything so I guess just @psychotic-roach I love you!! @the-strawzish-clownfish thank you for these painful asks, they were fun :)

[atopearth]

Subarashiki Hibi (Wonderful Everyday Down the Rabbit-Hole) Part 2 - It’s My Own Invention

It’s My Own Invention So…this is Takuji’s perspective and story? I guess it’s unsurprising that he had actually been living in the sewers for months. Hearing about the physical abuse he endured from his mother all throughout his life, I guess you can kinda see why he left his sister and mum there. I wonder if he considers his mum “dead” because she’s not “alive” like she used to be. And I guess he feels that her abuse at least made it seem like she cared for him, against now where she has feelings for nothing? Unless this has a different turn of events from rabbit hole and his mother is really dead? This Yuuki that literally nearly burned Takuji by dousing lighter fluid on his books and part of his clothes isn’t actually the “other Yuki” is it? Like, I remember Zakuro talking about Yuki being in a different “form” or something in the beginning and that was the one she liked and owed? So then maybe the things that happened in the rabbit hole ending was like that because of this Yuuki? He’s literally bullying and extorting Takuji for money. Shiroyama (the guy who died in rabbit hole) bullied Takuji as well?

I can see why Takuji wouldn’t be able to trust Zakuro so easily even though she seems nice. I always find it so terrible when someone puts all their courage into writing someone a love letter and yet the person who receives it shows the whole class and laughs at the person who confessed for being so gross. It’s like, with stuff like this, how do you expect anyone to have courage to tell other people their feelings these days? It’s such a horrible thing to do. I find it really cute that he ended up trusting her and helped her get away from Shiroyama etc by actually exposing his secret base (under the pool) to her. If this was a nice and normal story, it would have been the start of a cute relationship huh? Omggg at Takuji actually getting pervy creepy lolll, like c'mon dude, this ain’t your eroge, do you really think Zakuro is going to show you her panties?!?

Kimika Ending Hmmm, so Takuji is the administrator for that underground message board website for their school huh~ I never knew the Wakatsuki sisters had a brother! Is he dead? Is that why they’re so attached to Yuki since she was kinda like their saviour and big brother to them when they were young? I feel kinda bad for judging Takuji for everything he thought about towards Zakuro, like, his thoughts and stuff are still dirty and wrong for sure, but I feel like it’s also his form of a coping mechanism to deal with people he’s unfamiliar with. By alluding them to eroge and other stuff he’s familiar with, he gets more comfortable with talking or whatever, I assume. But yeah, he’s probably the way he is because of all that bullying… Shiroyama and the guys bullying him, and now Yuuki bullying him, I can’t believe he’s been able to endure all this for at least a year… Let’s just say….when Mamiya talked about the bullying leading to sexual assault, I really didn’t expect them to force him to steal Zakuro’s school uniform, wear it, make him masturbate to it, AND THEN even force Mamiya to give two of them blowjobs like omg…. That was so uncomfortable to watch/read, I felt so terrible and disgusted for Mamiya because those two obviously enjoyed it and are probably into guys (or just really want some action) but just couldn’t show it in front of the others. But omg, Mamiya must be so traumatised because I am right now. I think the worst was that Mamiya had to try his best to pleasure them with his tongue just so it’d be over sooner, it was just so terrible to see and think about… And yet even though Yuuki “saved” Mamiya from them, he was actually an even more terrible bully (violence wise and extortion of money wise)…

I wonder what’s wrong with Takuji though… Is he high? It seems like instead of reading his mind, he’s probably saying stuff without realising it, so Kagami is just answering him, and he thinks that she’s reading his mind? Or is there actually something wrong with the world itself? Omggg it was pretty scary when Zakuro’s corpse “appeared” at his hideout and then it zoomed in on her staring at the reader like, please don't😨😫😫 What I’m most curious about though is that scene Takuji saw (in his head?) of three Rirurus arguing about saving the world and being clouded by fear etc. It seems to insinuate that that is what happened before Zakuro and her two friends before they fell to their deaths, but what did they mean by having a near death experience will get their previous world’s powers back? Since Takuji would have died if he stayed standing there on the street right where they fell, does that mean he’s got some sort of powers back after that “near death experience”?

Tbh though, I really relate to how Takuji feels when he goes to class, the fact that you need to comfort yourself that you’re not standing out, no one notices you, just go to your desk and breeze through this, no one else matters, they’re just other people that you don’t need to care about and they don’t care about you etc. That’s honestly how I survived most of my classes in uni, by always telling myself that I didn’t need to worry about anything, just keep to myself and it’ll be okay. It’s kinda saddening to see it from Takuji’s perspective, but honestly that was the only way I knew how to survive back in the day, and to an extent these feelings still pop up within me… Except, it seems like Takuji is going through an emotional breakdown, he’s already been experiencing “hearing problems” but now they seem to be getting worse and it seems like it’s showing him descending to some kinda insanity after all the things he had experienced. And I guess considering how Takuji can hear people after he calms himself down, it does seem like his selective hearing is more like a coping mechanism to deal with his inability to be around others. And if it’s like that, I can’t help but understand how he descended into the idea that he should just kill everyone and then they won’t be able to talk about him or judge him anymore, and they won’t be able to bully him anymore. And they deserve it anyway is such a common thing to think of to justify your thoughts tbh, it’s kinda scary how relatable it kinda is. 

Hmmm, wait, is it possible that Yuuki/Tomosane is actually Takuji himself? He’s always thought that Yuki is cool for being able to beat up Shiroyama and them enough that they would avoid going to the roof because of her, so what if this Tomosane is just a manifestation of everything violent and malicious inside Takuji, and he appears whenever Takuji is about to break from nervousness or shame or whatever? I can see why Takuji would start to be so consumed in his own made up world that he’s starting to think it’s reality though, I mean, he’s practically been living like that for a while now, it just never really overtook him as it did now… It’s crazy how delusional one’s thoughts can get when you start imagining up all these things thinking they’re real, but it’s understandable why he would choose Zakuro as his target for his delusions. One, she’s dead already so the real one isn’t gonna wake him up, two, she was being bullied like he was so he felt an unspeakable connection with her that only they understood, three, she knew about his secret hideout, the only place he felt comfortable in. So by associating all those things together, she kinda becomes his “comfortable place” and a sort of relief from the rest of the world that doesn’t care about him, and of course if the world doesn’t care about him, he has no reason to care about it either… Yeahhh….I honestly didn’t need that detailed “sex” scene Takuji just had with Zakuro’s desk, like yes, I get that he’s going nuts for her, no I honestly didn’t need that to be described to me as he imagined the desk as Zakuro… LMAO when Takuji referred to the desk as a tsundere when it didn’t open it’s heart and talk back to him.

I’m not surprised that the words on Zakuro’s desk about the world ending on July 20 would break Takuji even further. He’s been tormented by his mother all his childhood and she was crazy about the idea that the world would return to the sky on that day, so it’s hard to not be shaken by the fact that such news is appearing again in front of him. I wonder if these are all really countless failed worlds that God has made as Takuji said… When Takuji talks about him being vulgarity itself because his life at home and his life in his base is so drastically different, where at home he tries his best to live an immaculate and pure life and yet when he’s at his base he masturbates to all kinds of eroge, it really makes me think that Tomosane is definitely himself, the vulgarity he tries to separate from the regular him but can never throw away because it’s such an integral part of him and of his escape from reality. He allows his vulgarity to beat him up all the time because he thinks he’s filthy, but at the same time he can’t take it because he doesn’t think he deserves this. For a moment, in the beginning, I thought maybe Zakuro could somehow help him (if she didn’t die) but I guess I kinda underestimated the fact that it isn’t just the bullying that caused him to become like this, it all started from his mother traumatising him and him wanting to believe that everything she did was because she loved him, so then he can feel better about it all…

Dang, it’s pretty weird to see Yuki from a third person perspective and in her uniform as well! She looks nice~ Lmao at Yuki telling Takuji her name and saying she can’t believe he doesn’t remember people in his own class, like c'mon Yuki, you’re exactly the same! I wonder if Ayana is the “God” of these countless worlds? Is she “someone” that continues to live on in each and every world watching over time pass, everyone she likes dying over and over again as she continues to live? I mean, when she talked to Takuji about eternal life where even if what he wants is for his happy life to continue forever, that’s never gonna happen because people die and you’ll be stuck with yourself and lose your mind as you float endlessly in a world with no one else, so it makes me wonder whether Ayana is either like creating all these worlds to try and keep experiencing that wonderful everyday each time even if it’s limited? Well…that discussion with the drawing on his wall aka “Magical Girl Riruru” was sure long winded and confusing, it just seems that after all that, he’s convinced himself that he’s kinda like God, and thus the saviour of this world and he needs to return everyone to their rightful place in the sky, so even though what he’s about to do may seem to be causing death in this world, he believes that he’s actually “saving” them. Quite a common twisted concept, because regardless of whether it’s true or not, we’ll never really know whether it’s true or not, and the way these people end up “dying” definitely doesn’t feel like he’s saving them… I find it so saddening to hear more details about Megu and Satoko bullying Zakuro and how careless the teacher was to give permission for them to create a club that only allowed them to have their own space to continue this bullying. Hmm and the doll thing that led to Zakuro nearly falling down and dying when her precious doll was thrown over the fence… But I see, Kimika is the girl that was bullied until they decided to bully Zakuro instead, and it seems that Kimika “bullies” her as well because she can’t go against the others and doesn’t want to go back to her previous life of getting bullied all the time, yet she can’t help but care about Zakuro since she’s so kind despite her feeling like a “traitor” to Zakuro. I wonder how Shiroyama’s death will be related to all this, it can’t be a random coincidence of him just falling off after getting high from drugs, right? Sometimes I wonder if Zakuro put some kinda drugs or something in Takuji’s hideout before she died and that hastened all his delusions or something.

Tbh, now that Yuki is talking about cognitive bias and saying that we’re only linking things to have more meaning than there actually is because of the frequency of events affecting us personally, it makes me think maybe Shiroyama’s death was as simple as him getting high and falling off the building… Although I’m not a fan of how Kimika got “converted” into believing in Takuji as the saviour, I can understand though, she’s always felt guilty towards Zakuro for betraying her and only seemed to lash out at her all the time because she couldn’t forgive herself when Zakuro was so nice to her. Ummm, if Yasuko is saying the fake Mamiya told her the prophecy won’t occur…does that mean Mamiya is actually Yuki? Are they two sides of the same coin kinda thing? Same person split in two? Like how Zakuro said in the the previous routes about her being who she was looking for this whole time but she’s in a different form? Hmmm.. now I wonder if this world is Yuki’s and Mamiya’s world and the two of them are fighting to wake up from all this or continue the wonderful everyday or something lol. Sometimes I wonder if I’m thinking too much about all this, and really, everyone is just on drugs and seeing everything in a crazy way loll. And yeah…I honestly didn’t need to see how crazy Kiyokawa got tbh. And yahhh, although Kimika is crazy with that military(?) knife and ready to kill anyone at any moment, her expressions and everything are just so adorable! I honestly thought it was pretty nice how Kimika and Takuji spent time together on the roof breaking the fence, making “music” with the broken poles and just living in their own little world. I’m wondering..since it seems like Takuji is reliant on the bell ringing and Kimika to determine what time and day it is, is time really passing as he thinks it is? Is Kimika lying or is the world distorted?

I knew Kimika could never really forgive herself over Zakuro always being nice to her and never blaming her for the bullying, but it never clicked to me that the reason why Kimika was relieved after talking to Takuji near the pool that time was because if Zakuro’s curse is true like he says, then that means, Zakuro finally got mad at her and knows how terrible of a person she actually is, and because of that, she can finally feel “better” about the whole thing and feel more like an equal alongside Zakuro since she’s treating her more like a person now. In the end, even though Zakuro never intended for her to feel like that, it couldn’t be helped that her good intentions hurt Kimika more than if she just blatantly hated her for everything. Btw, it was crazy to think of everyone jumping “to the end sky” by ending their lives jumping from the roof, like can you imagine the amount of bodies…. I’m not surprised that Kimika thinks the only way to recompense Zakuro for everything is for her to die herself because death itself is the only thing that has the same value with death. In a way, although Takuji kinda got lost a bit with the end sky stuff, in the end, both Kimika and Takuji wanted to do the same thing by involving all these people and leading them to their deaths. They just wanted to kill everyone that was either involved in Zakuro’s bullying and thus her death, and all the bystanders that knew and did nothing about it. They all just wanted to do what they could for her. To get revenge for her on this school and this world that never cared for victims of bullying like them. I knew it was Kimika that sent the messages instead of Takuji (when he forgot), she was the only plausible possibility haha, and the only person who would probably want Senagawa dead so much. Honestly, Kimika’s words really touched me at the end, I knew she really liked Takuji, but I didn’t expect her to tell him that she was her only regret, that she was never scared of dying until she fell in love with him. And how she wanted at least him to live, and for herself to be the last sacrifice… I’m so proud of Takuji though, he legit jumped with her and held onto her, just like what she always wanted, she really just wanted a hug from him, and she finally got that. I think this was the best decision Takuji made in this whole route tbh. I mean, there was nothing left for him after this, so really this was the only proper choice, but I’m glad he did, because it made Kimika so touched and happy in her last moments to be embraced by him…

Overall, although I really enjoyed seeing Takuji’s perspective alongside Kimika’s “story” (especially the ending), the mid to latter half of the story was definitely quite draggy. Especially with the Kiyokawa stuff that I don’t really think was necessary to get the point across of how crappy things were going down. Otherwise, I think I enjoyed it more than the previous endings etc since I feel like it explored more of people’s thoughts, emotions, actions and how twisted things can become for people like Takuji who have been abused their whole life. Zakuro was used more as a plot device to incite different reactions for Takuji and Kimika and I liked that because it kinda shows how easy it can be to lose it once something “breaks”, causing this whole repercussion of events. On another note, I think “Mahou Shoujo Riruru-chan” and her voice is imprinted into my mind now after all that repetition lmao.

Invention Ending HAHAHA omg, I can’t believe Takuji really crossed the line and asked Zakuro to show him her panties. Yes, totally not sexual harassment, you just want her secret to exchange with yours about the hideout, yep totally, what a fair transaction. What’s the difference between him and those other bullies?! Oh okay, I thought it definitely must be a delusion when he started getting the camera out lmao, but yeah his imagination sure took it to a whole new level LOL. I’m honestly sooo tired of all the unnecessary R rated scenes and CGs, it adds nothing to the story and I have to like super speed skim through them tbh lolll. It was interesting to see Zakuro’s corpse walking around the school, and for her table to say she was was Zakuro and was looking for her body…

So it seems like Yuki, Tomosane and Takuji are like the three gods of this world all maintaining the role as Creator, Harmonizer and Destroyer, and these roles are interchangeable between them alongside the different perspectives and different routes we’ll see? Not surprised that Tomosane is the supposed destroyer role but I wonder if they’re all like manifestations of some person’s mind or something then, Tomosane seems adamant on the idea that he’s the closest one to whoever that person or thing is. Tomosane is actually the brother of the Wakatsuki sisters? I never expected that until they appeared on the rooftop… I was wondering if it was a good idea for Takuji to stab Tomosane, guess not after all, since it seems like they probably are all the same entity and if one dies, they all die? I wonder what the roles of the Wakatsuki sisters are though, why do they seem to know so many things? Do they know that Yuki, Tomosane and Takuji are like the creators of this world and thus the creators of them? Or is it something else? It definitely wasn’t nice to know how Kagami’s death went down… Takuji obviously wasn’t in his right mind (I guess he never is) to think and see Kagami laughing at him when she was obviously in so much pain, I think the worst part when they practically cleaved her limb to limb and Tsukasa had to watch everything..

On the other hand, I guess Kimika got to die without regrets this time around since she ended up doing it with Takuji and even snatched a kiss off him. However, he definitely didn’t view her any more than a good servant even though he was kinda suspicious of her, so I guess her ending would probably still be a better ending for her instead tbh. And everything else unfolds as it did from Yuki’s perspective…

Overall, I’m not sure what to think (as usual). I feel like we’re getting more answers now at least but it’s still kinda difficult to sit through a lot of the R rated scenes tbh, it’s so uncomfortable lol, like, I don’t need to see it!! Hahaha, but I guess it’s just me… I think for me, those scenes just detract from me focusing on the plot tbh and they’re pretty boring scenes since it’s mostly noises and the usual stuff zzz. Anyway, at least it seems to imply now that Yuki, Tomosane and Takuji are all one in the same (I assume) with them all having different agendas because they all possess or lack the memories to know what their goals and purposes are. Although Tomosane seems like the Destroyer, I feel like Takuji was more of that role in this ending, but I guess if Tomosane and the rest never treated him like that, Takuji might have been a bit more sane.

[ain-t-bovvered]

SEASON 14 FINALE

bunch of tired and caffeinated Europeans ( plus a sleepy American) scream together, and then die and try to get on with their day ( lol AS IF)

Hello and welcome:

@purpleskiesandcherrypies  (Nat)

@dean-winchesters-bacon  (Kat)  

@waywardbaby  (Zee)

@ain-t-bovvered  (Giulia)

     * MASTERLIST of season 14 commentary *

CRY WITH US

Giulia: JOHN

Kat: THE FEELS OFF THE BAT

Giulia: OH THERE IT IS

Zee: Carry on.

Zee: Perfect

Giulia: DONT Y CRY NO MOOORE *air drumming*

Zee: Michael pigeon

Kat: AAAAAAHHHHHHHH

Giulia: *headbanging*

Nat: You and Michael trapped for eternity wink wink

Giulia: But I flew too hiiiigh

Giulia: I CAN T

Zee: I am Winchester

Giulia: literal chills and also didn’t need to see those fingers again

Nat: ya right

Kat: If I have to see that thing with Nick’s fingers again....

Zee: They’re mocking us

Ok but Jack is fucking scaaaaaary here alright. I don’t like being afraid of my son.

Giulia: Those glowy eyes tho

Nat: ok but that shot is good

Giulia: I HAVE [1] FEAR

Dean *in Jensen JiB10 voice *: we’ve done fucked up

Kat: JACK BABY NO

J: You LIED!

Giulia: OH FUCK

Zee: Jack stop

Nat: FUCKING TANTRUM MAN

Giulia: GREAT OFF TO A GREAT START well at least he didn’t kill them all already. He definitely could have

AAAAAND he flew away.

Nat: Ya, I think I have to leave I have an appointment to shoot myself

Zee: Stay coward

Kat: SIT YOUR ASS DOWN

Giulia: Nat !hold the door for me

Kat: DON’T MAKE ME GET THE ROPE

Zee: I’ll tie you both. Shut up

C: You should never have tried to lock him away.

Giulia: YES TELL HIM CAS

D: You know what? You're right. I never wanted to put him in that damn box. I wanted him dead.

Giulia: NO DEAN

Nat: Dean, you don't mean it babe

Giulia: NO

D: He's dangerous, Cass, and you knew it! You've known it for a long time! But that's okay. You know why? Because me and Sam, we've killed just about everything, there is. And this -- Jack -- oh, we'll find a way. Because he's just another monster.

Zee: Dads fighting

C: You don't mean that.

D: The hell I don't.

Giulia: THE TENSION *licking lips*

#PRAYFORSAM

                          #PRAYFORME

SOUL BOMB

Giulia: NO BAD IDEA

Nat: YOU SHUSH YOUR MOUTH

Giulia: i mean good idea BUT BAD

S: Okay.

D: Sam, I know this isn't easy, okay? He -- I know how much he meant to you. He meant a lot to me. He was family.

Nat: I wanna cry, Sammy, let me hold ya

Giulia: we are gonna do the ugly thing

Zee: Sam’s face gonna stay like that forever

Giulia: Of course it’s not the first time

Kat: If I’ve said it once I’ll say it again. Jared’s acting is A+ this season

Giulia: This doesn’t look good

Kat: Oh jack

Zee: Oh hello

Kat: No babe

Nat: My god but Jack needs to be contained. Someone should show him the waaaaaaay

Giulia: SNORTS i read that in Jared’s dumb voice

Nat: I WROTE THAT IN JARED'S DUMB VOICE SO

S: She thinks it's dangerous and insane.

well she right

*Sam aggressively getting out the car*

Zee: Nerds

S: Takes one to know one.

Giulia: WE VE BEEN KNEW. DEAN’S A NERD

D: Okay. All right, yeah. But I'm nothing like these, uh, you know, gaggle of Zuckerbergs.

Kat: The cutest little nerd

Sammy...my smart baby

Nat: Yeah, but I'm not...uh..

Dean with his charming smile on

D: Hi. I'm Dean Winchester, and I'm looking for the devil's son.

Giulia: AHAHAH

Zee: What?

Giulia: oooh

Nat: OH NO

Giulia: Right

Nat: He can't lie

Nat: BUAHAHHAHAHA AWKWARD BEAN Oh my god

Giulia: Oh wow Jack should have done that at the starts of the season

D: I meant [Clears throat] I'm Dean Winchester, and I'm looking for the devil's son. This badge is fake.

Giulia: AHAHAHAHAHA WHAT

Kat: D Y I N G

S: Well, it's like you said. [Chuckles] It's Celine Dion. I mean Celine Dion. It's Celi-- [ Stammers ] Dean, every time I try and say "Elvis,"  it comes out --

Zee: Sad horrible truth

Nat: Imagine that happening

Giulia: Das me

Kat: The I hate everyone guy is me

Nat: I HATE EVERYONE.  I feel that dude

Giulia: Meaning this

Nat: OH MY GOD DIG AT TRUMP.  I AM LIVING

Giulia: That thing needs to happen tho

Kat: Dying over the Trump part

Giulia: Trump soul deal CONFIRMED

Misha wrote this part

Giulia: BECAUSE Y ALL LIED TO HIM

Nat: Also why are they both so pretty

Zee: Stapler queen

Giulia: I AM THE [CENSORED]

Zee: What is Cas doing ??!!!

Giulia: oh the cage

Nat: I'm just like...crying in my coffee now

Giulia: GASPS

Zee: Chuck!!!!

I love Rob with all my heart.

Nat: Ya, now you show up huh

Zee: About fucking time

Kat: 🤐🤐🤐🤐🤐🤐🤐

C be like......heLLo fAtHEr

Giulia: No jack

Nat: Ah babe no why you go to your grandma

C: God

G: .....EH

C: Chuck

.G: There you go.

Giulia: Hi chuck bb

C: How are You here?

G: You called me?

Giulia: OH SHUT UP NOW U ANSWER

Nat: Jack's a problem. YA THINK

Zee: He’s a problem. Ya think?

Giulia: Ooooh that’s bad

Cass is like .... *protective father activated*

Nat: Oh no, don't tell him

Zee: Puppy eyed jack

Zee: Bad eyed jack

D: When people can't lie, the Internet gets real quiet.

Dean Winchester ep. 14x20

D: yeah, guess your life isn't so perfect after all, EightPackMommy.

S: What?

D: Yeah, she's got this blog. Yeah, you know what? Your kids aren't that cute. And that gluten-free popover looks like crap because there's no gluten in it. [ Chuckling ] You know what I mean?  I'll stop talking.

Kat: Dean’s an insta stalker lol

Giulia: AHAHAH

Zee: Jesus

Nat: My god Dean, stop talking

Zee: Three yoghurts. Seems legit

Nat: I just wanna be loved.  I feel that too

Giulia: That crying lady. Das me

Kat: I change my answer, that’s me lol

G: You see, this is why people need to lie. Keeps the peace, you know

C: Seems like an odd stance for...you.

G: I'm a writer. Lying's kind of what we do.

Cass, having none of it : SAM!? DEAN?!

Giulia: I WANNA SEE DEAN INTERNET CHRONOLOGY

Nat: What's a dad bod

Nat: how to remember what i did last night

Kat: Porn

Giulia: what’s Bi

Nat: hot chicks in kansas

Nat: hot men in kansas

Nat: hot pie in kansas

Giulia: hot in kansas

*God casually walking in*

Dean : adwbrgoidqifhowhdiahf whet

G: HEY GUYS

Sam: adhouehfwoihegwpirhgjsadjaijd

G: I know what you're thinking - it's been awhile, and I still look pretty good.

S: No, that's -- that's not what we were thinking.

Giulia: YAS DEAN! 

a sec later 

….OH

Nat: NO NOT THE GUITAR

Kat: I bet Jensen has fun doing that

Giulia: damn Chuck chill

Dean mentally: I REGRET EVERYTHING, BUT ALSO NOT

G: So.....how’s things?

Sam, Cass, and Dean: MAJOR BITCHFACE

Kat: Ugh Chuck SHUT UP

Giulia: WE ALL HAVE QUESTION BITCH. CHUCK U FUCK

G: I built the sandbox -- you play in it.

Zee: How bad do they want to sucker punch him?

G: You want to go up against -- what was it? -- the "British Men of Letters"? Okay. Little weak, but okay.

Giulia: Little weak but ok

Nat: I totally read suck and punch him

Giulia: Chuuuck my fucking god

Zee: And the other apocalypse

Giulia: Oh that’s when he steps in

Kat: Jensen’s fucking model face

Zee: Accurate

Nat: The world kinda went insane... ya think?

Giulia: WHAT

Kat: Queen is a lizard I knew it

Zee: Baffled moose

Nat: "I'm god Sam"

Giulia: I M TIRED OF PEOPLE SNAPPING FINGERS

Nat: So he could actually fix jack too  If he wants to

Giulia: i wanna punch god

Kat: I’m having such a hard time rn. I need to leave ( giulia: this bitch already knew just fyi)

Nat: Dean stop pouting, you are distracting me

G: Not really....but you can

Dean is like....what the fuck ?

Zee: Dean needs to shut his face

Giulia&Zee: What The fuck

Kat: Pretty gun

Giulia: GOD U NERD

Zee&Nat: Equalizer

Nat: The hammer what

Giulia: TIME

Zee&Kat: Hammurabi

S: So you've had this the whole time and -- and we're just now getting it?

Giulia: sam asking the right questions

G: I just made that sucker.

S: So you don't even know if it works.

G: If I say it'll work, it'll work.

Kat: Eye for an eye ( edit notes 24th May....you fucker, I just now noticed)

Nat: Hey, can I punch god? Am I allowed to punch god?

Giulia: Oh i don’t like it

Nat: It doesn't use bullets

Sam is so done

Giulia: I really don t like it. Let me guess, Someone has to die

Nat: Dean, shut your fucking face

Listen...Cas should have understood that ok?

Kat: I swear they made them dumber

G: Uh, whatever happens to the person you're aiming at also happens to you.

Giulia: ...there it is

Kat: Eye for a fucking eye

Nat: NO

Nat: I MEAN OF COURSE DEAN WANTS TO DO IT

C: I don't understand why we're talking about killing Jack.Y-You can fix him.You can -- You can restore his soul.That's why I called you.

Giulia: CAS ASKING THE RIGHT QUESTIONS

S: You're God.

Nat: I MEAN WHY ARE WE EVEN WATCHING

G: I mean, after what he did?

ooooh Chuck you bitch , don’t use mama Winchester come on , that’s low

Kat: Fuck you Chuck

Giulia: why is everything that complicated.

Giulia: CASS BABE

Nat: DON'T INTERRUPT YOUR BOYFRIEND. DEAN SHUT UP

Zee: Cas is beyond pissed

C: And Billie said the only way to defeat Michael was to lock you in a box

Giulia: DEAN NO. oooh cass is pissed

D: Now, I know you don't like it, and I don't really care. 'Cause you just heard it from God Himself that this is the only thing that can kill Jack,

Zee: Grounds for divorce

D: so either get on board or walk away.

Cas walks away.

me: YOU ARE DOING AMAZING SWEETIE

Kat: The fucking smirk

Giulia: What’s that face Chuck tho?

Nat: No, I mean, do we really have another death as a cliff hanger

Kat: 🤐🤐🤐🤐🤐🤐

Zee: Of fucking course

Giulia: I FUCKING KNOW  i mean must mean something

Kat: I could spoil but I won’t

Kat: BRO TALK

S: This is where you tell me you're gonna pull the trigger?

Giulia: Thanks dean we knew

D: Yeah, it is.

Nat: Sam, did you think that Dean wouldn't do it? I mean, come on you were in the last 14 seasons too

D: He killed our mom.

Giulia: OH BOO HOO

Giulia: dean come on

Zee: Rational Sam

S: But, Dean, we haven't even tried to save him.

D: He actually blamed Mom for what happened.

S: He doesn't have a soul.

Giulia: Thank u sam

S: I'm the one who brought him back, and I brought him back because he's family.And then he came back, and he burned his soul off to save us 

--you and me.And now what? You.. Now you -- you want my permission? [ Stammers ] You want me to say I'm cool with losing him and losing you all at once? 'Cause I can't do that. I won't say that, 'cause I... No. I've already lost too much.

Giulia: HE DID THAT. SAM...BABY, I’M SO PROUD OF YOU.

Nat: Hey, why do we let ourselves get hurt all the time when we actually know that Dean's going to wanna go through with it

Giulia: why does it feel like Dean is a fucking train going straight and not looking at anything else? Because we know it’s wrong, and we know dean knows it ‘s wrong

We know that dean knows that he knows it's wrong but he won't accept that he knows that it's wrong

Zee: Have you been watching this show bb?

Nat: No, I think I've never watched it

Giulia: What’s a supernatural?

Cas angry af

Giulia: not gonna lie, got a little sweaty there

Giulia: Look at cas hugging his boi with no hesitations

Kat: Ugh back to Chuck

Zee: Is that really chuck tho?

Giulia: U know? Got a feeling too

Nat: Ya, I think it's not Chuck, honestly

Nat: It's all kinda wrong

Giulia: Feels that way

Kat: Ugh I wanna scream at y’all

Nat: It's probably the empty. i don't know

Kat: I am actually screaming at y’all, just not typing it out

Nat: or an evil version of god

Nat: Chuck wouldn't sacrifice Jack and a Winchester

Giulia: Chuck god damn it ( later note: LITERALLY)

Nat: Anyway, anything to keep Sam safe, right?

G: One's in reverse. In one, there's no yellow. One -- One of them's just all squirrels.

Giulia: But I wanna see all their versions tho

S: So, Michael said that you create these worlds and you just toss them away like failed versions of some book.

G: And you believe him?

S: Was he lying? Is that what you're doing to us?

G: you and your brother, of all the Sams and Deans in all the multiverse, you're my favorite. You're just so interesting.

Sam is like .....that’s creepy

J: I used to hate myself for it. But I don't feel that way anymore.

Giulia: Can I hug my son ??????

J: I don't feel anything.

Giulia: LET ME HUG HIM

Nat: Aw bb didn't kill his grandma

Giulia: Thank god he didn’t kill her. Oh wow

Zee: One type of Winchester pain is not enough for you ?

Kat: All this Sammy-ness

S:  Do you watch us? When you're not here, are -- are you... watching us?

G: I mean, you're my favorite show.

Giulia&Zee: I MEAN SAME

S: Why, when the chips are down, when the world is -- is failing, why does it always

Zee&Giulia: You’re my guys

Giulia: Ooh Sam I love sam this season ok

Zee: Scared god

Kat: So damn good

Nat: I WANNA PUNCH CHUCK SO BAD LET ME PUNCH CHUCK

Giulia: This

Zee: Get in line

Kat: YOU JUST FUCKING WAIT

Giulia: I’m coming with u

Kat: EVERYONE BEHIND ME OKAY . NOT HELPING KAT I GET FIRST CRACK I’M NOT TRYING TO

Giulia: Please give Jack his soul back sobs

J: All I ever wanted was to be good.

Giulia: OH NO

C: We just need time to fix this. We need to go somewhere safe, somewhere where no one can find us.

CATCH ME SOBBING BECASUE CASTIEL LOVES THIS BOY SO MUCH

Zee: Misha ffs. Shut your face

[ an angry Dean appears]

Zee: Oh perfect

Nat: Ya, sure boyfriend has a tracker on yo phone cas

D: Cass, step aside.

Giulia: I DON T LIKE THIS. hate this HATE THIS

Cas putting himself in front of the most powerful being. LOL SOBS

Zee: Detest

C: RUN

Giulia: HATED THAT TOO

Nat: WTF

Giulia: dean no

Nat: DEAN

Giulia: Oooh he so doesn't t wanna do that. HATE THIIIIS

Nat: not like that

Giulia: my heart I can t breathe

Nat: That back tho. SHUT UP NAT

Giulia: Those thighs tho. SHUT UP GIULIA

WHAT IS THIS STRESSFUL MUSIC

Nat: SAMMY

Giulia: HELP  LET ME BREATHE

Nat: MY GOD

Kat: RUN SAMMY RUN

Giulia: NO HALPP I CAN T

J: I understand.

D: *Eye twitch*

Nat: DEAN YOU HEAR HIM YOU JUST STOP

Giulia: MY HEART IS POUNDING

Zee: Mine stopped

*wild God appears*

Giulia: SHUT UP JACK

Oooooh Dean is so conflicted

Kat: CHUCK SHUT YOUR FACE

S: You're enjoying this.

Giulia: SHOOT CHUCK

G: shhh

Kat: HIS FAVE SHOW

Nat: Chuck's enjoying this

Giulia: MY GOOOOD

Nat: fucking hell

Giulia: SHOOT CHUCK

Nat: OH MY GOD I FORGOT HOW TO BREATHE

Kat: THE TEARS IN DEANS EYES

Nat: BREATHE NAT BREATHE

Giulia: WHAT IS BREATH

Question....What the fuck is Castiel doing anyway???? WHERE HE AT?

Nat: I THINK I STOPPED BREATHING

Kat: BREATHE BABE

Giulia: OH THANK GOD

Nat: OMG I'M CRYING

Oh there , Cas is back

Giulia: OH CHUCK

Kat: GET READY TO SCREAM

G: No! Pick it up

Zee: Wtf?

Giulia: no NO WHAT

Nat: WHAT

Giulia: OH COME ON

Nat: WHAT?

Giulia: OOOF COURSEEE

Nat: CHUCK

Kat: CHUCK IS THE FUCKING WORST OKAY

Giulia: THE BOOKS

Nat: NO YOU FUCKING PRICK

Giulia: snorts CHUCK WTF

D: The hell, Chuck?

G: This isn't how the story is supposed to end. Lookit, the -- the -- the gathering storm, the gun, the -- the father killing his own son.This is Abraham and Isaac. This is epic!

Nat: NO OFFENSE? OH HE SAID THE WRONG THING NOW

Zee: Can’t process

G: So pick up the gun. Pick it up...pull the trigger...and I'll bring her back.Your mom.

Giulia: CHUCK NO U BITCH

Nat: WHAT

Zee: WHAT?

D: No. My mom was my hero. And I miss her, and I will miss her every second of my life, but she would not want this.

Giulia: OH THANK U DEAN

Kat: DEANS BETTER THAN THAT YALL

Nat: HEY, SOMEONE FUCKING SHOOT CHUCK OR I'LL DO IT

Zee: CHUCK IS SUCH A BITCH

D: And it's not like you even really care.

Giulia: YES DEAN

Giulia: This is really biblical tho

Nat: It's like the Truman show

S: Just sitting back and watching us suffer so we can do this over and over and over again -- fighting, losing people we love? When does it end? Tell me.

Giulia: YAS SAM

Giulia: Yas you go

D: 'Cause this --this isn't just a story.It's our lives! So God or no God,you go to hell.

Nat: TELL HIM BB

Oh hey....God chuckling never looked scarier

Giulia: NO

Kat: AND THERE'S THE SCREAMS

Giulia: NOOOO

Nat: NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Giulia: WHAT THE FUCJ

Nat: WHAT

Giulia: GEOWNDNSKCJA FHSISNDBSKAL JACK

Nat: SHIT

Giulia: N

Kat: SAMMY BABY NO

Giulia: NO SAM

Nat: OSHGOIEWAHGOIEHGPOIEWHGLIRHGLFDNLKDNGLKSNGLDSNGLKDSNSD

Kat: ALSO YES

Nat: DSLNFLISAGLDSNGLISANGLSNGLSNGLDS

Giulia: OH THANK

G: Story's over. Welcome to The End

Kat: HERE IT COMES

Giulia: NO

Zee: WHAT?

Kat: PEOVOWOGOGOAOFGOOAVKELKskv

Nat: YOU DONT FUCKING DARE

Kat: FINALLY YALL BITCHES GONNA SEE

Nat: NLDSKNSLKDNFLSNFLSDFSIEJIESJFLSKFD

Giulia: SINCE WHEN CHUCK IS SUCH A DICK

Nat: LSNGLISNLKDSNLKSANFELIEWFSKNFLKDSNGLKDSNF

Giulia: JACK

Nat:SDLHOIDSHOEWHRLWNVLKDSNVLKDSANGLSIDHOIHGODSHFSLNHFLDS

Giulia: JAAACK I CAN T

Zee: What the fuck is going on??

Nat: I CAN NOT ENGLISH

Giulia: CAS’ FACE.....I CAN’T STAND IT

C: He's a writer. Writers lie.

Kat: WRITERS LIE

Giulia: HATE THAT

Nat: WRITERS LIE

Giulia: NO

Nat: WHAT NO

Giulia: PLEASE

Nat: JACK

Kat: JUST WAIT FOR THIS SHOT

Nat: NOOOOOOO

Giulia: MY BABY

Zee: This hurts

Kat: THROUGH THE DAMN EYE

CRY WITH SOME SOUNDTRACK

Giulia: WHAT THE FUCK

Nat: FUCK NO

Nat: WHAT IS FUCKING WRONG

Giulia: THIS SONG

Nat: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH SPN

Giulia: WHY IN THE EMPTY

Kat: THE MUSIC ID FUCKIG PERFECT

Giulia: NO

Zee: Can they stop with the song?

Nat: HE'S IN THE EMPTYYYYYYY

Giulia: THAT IS CREEPY

Kat: BILLIE

B: We should talk

Giulia: WHAT

Kat: WAIT WAIT WAIT

Nat: OH

Giulia: IM SORRY WHAT

Nat: She doens't want Jack to stay ded

Kat: WPOGLWOVOAOFKWKSKFLEOVOEKVKWLOGOGKSKC

Nat: I like Billie

Giulia: THE FUCK IS THIS

Zee: What?

Nat: what happens . Souls from Hell

Giulia: GOD WAS NEVER ON YOUR SIDE

Kat: JUST YOU SEE

Giulia: IS THAT THE ONE FROM THE FORST EP

Kat: WOMAN IN WHITE

Nat: It starts all over again

Giulia: FUCK

Kat: THE CLOWN

Giulia: NO GACY

Kat: BLOODY MARY

Nat: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

Giulia: OH FFS

Giulia: JFC

Giulia: JESUS

Giulia: FUCKING

Giulia: CHRIST

Kat: EVERYTHING THEY EVER KILLED IS BACK

Nat: EVERYTHING'S JUST A GAME FOR CHUCK AND I HATE HIM

Giulia: CHUCK U FUCKING ASSHOLE

Kat: SEE I TOLD YALL CHUCK IS THE WORST

Giulia: WELL THIS IS FUCKING CREEPY MY GOD

Kat: THEY DONE MADE GOD THE ULTIMATE BADDIE FOR THE LAST SEASON

Giulia: IRON. Grab all the fucking IRON

Nat: But to kill them all again they would need more than one more seasons tho

Nat: I MEAN...

Giulia: LOVE IT

Kat: Nah they just going to have to do something epic

Giulia: GOD WAS NEVER ON YOUR SIDE

Zee: Appropriate

Nat: they can shove epic in their ass

I

STAN

TFW

Kat: PERFECTION

                      [ after credits comments]

Giulia: WHAT WAS THAAAAAT

Giulia: OOOH GUYS

Zee: Thanks Satan

Nat: YA ......SO

Kat: See not so much crying as just being mad af

Nat: WELL

Giulia: APOCALYPSE WORLD 2k19. IS THERE GOING TO BE APOCALYPSE AGAIN BECAUSE IM HERE FOR IT

Kat: WE DON’T KNOW

Nat: Alright me has to work I DON'T KNOW WHAT I SHOULD DO WITH MY FEELINGS THO

Giulia: GOOD LUCK

Kat: NNNNOOOO SCREAM WITH US

Giulia: DON T STEAL YOGURTS

Kat: OR STAPLERS

Zee: How can y’all still write ??

Nat: I'M THE KWEEN OF STAPLERS

Zee: This was all kinds of fucked up

Kat: Because I’ve been processing for hours

Nat: Good luck with your day babes

Giulia: Ya know imma make that gif with little dean heads and the caption: [CENSORED]

Kat: Can you put my head on hers lol

Giulia: No imma put [CENSORED]

Giulia: That song is gonna be on repeat till next season tho

Kat: But but

Giulia: Because it’s the fucking truth

Zee: Salty this early?

Giulia: And honestly ...that chuck was weird tho I didn’t like him

Zee: Agree

Giulia: That’s why I thought he was not OUR chuck. I’m not that mad at Dean anyway. He did good. Baby….you did good.

Kat: He’s finally showing his true nature

Giulia: But Sam and Cas have my ass ok. Good fucking morning writers. This season I mean. Yeah we all know D. E. A. N. But this season they wrote Sam and Cas in a real emotional way and i can t. Like not just supports to dean character but their own. Loved it

Zee: Who has the rest of you ?

Giulia: Myself. I’m my own woman

Zee: Perfect.

Giulia: And I must say, i did actually liked this end

Kat: I do too More than I thought I would

Giulia: And boy do I want apocalypse world back

Giulia: Also this thing about that chuck. Just reinforce my idea that Cas is going to choose to be human.

Zee: What're six months?

Kat: Makes me wonder how long they knew 15 was gonna be the last

Giulia: Before season 14 , pretty sure. Or at least at the start. Like...they played too much on the letting go and be grateful for the time we had shit

Kat: I think so too

Zee: Imma leave too. Spending the day in the city

Giulia: Same, Spending the day crying

.

.

.

Thank you all for staying with us during this painful season.

See you in season 15, which will be even more painful, but he-heey we are used to it ....right?

. @wayward-angelgirl @destiel-honeypie     @mariekoukie6661     @dragontamerm      @closetspngirl   @rainflowermoon    @mattiecat      @bunnybaby121115  @aliaitee2   @jacks-word-of-the-day     @4evamc       @dammitsammy     @legendary-destiel   @winchesterprincessbride    @destielhoneybee    @castiellover20   @jacks-word-of-the-day  @ravenhg @evvvissticante  @legendary-destiel @dustythewind 

[stupidstubbornbravebitchoftarth]

Sorry if this is a bit depressing but I just had the most horrible thought & need to vent. We know that GRRM told D&D about some characters’ endings - what if the ending he told them for Jaime was that he and Cersei die together??? And 8x05 was D&Ds Interpretation of that (it was shit and I hated it) but what if it was partly true?? I’m legit panicking rn, I cried for weeks after season 8 finished bc I couldn’t cope I have no idea what I’ll do if Jaime somehow dies with Cersei in the books too..

I know what you feel like and every once in awhile I get depressed about that too. But I am also pretty good at envisioning Brienne and Jaime on Tarth, teaching their little baby girl how to fight with a sword, while the sun sets over dark green meadows and the sapphire blue waters and they are at peace at last – it helps.

Disclaimer my knowledge about the whole GRRM vs. Dumb&Dumber debacle is very superficial – so what I am gonna tell you now is mostly what I can remember having read in other people’s posts lmao.

So for starters I believe having read somewhere that GRRM has been less and less involved in the actual writing process of the show BC he finally started working on the books. Praise God, She is too kind. He actually said he is kind of sorry for it but work e.g books caught up to him and it seemed like he didn’t even like the ending for the show (see the post where people compared his reaction to Marvel’s Endgame vs. The Reaction to his own show – it’s somewhere on my blog but I can’t Tag for shit so yeah just Google it it’s probably faster …. )

So for me that COULD mean that he was less and less contact with the writers and honestly maybe he actually wrote some of what he told D&D but then changed his mind and wrote other endings without telling D&D because a) he felt like it b) it’s his work c) probably thought D&D were fucking incompetent d) it was too late anyway

Also I just think that if he really kills Jaime off, which is always possible but I don’t think is going to happen,  it will be way more justified death, a just death not some fucking bricks. Like we know he is looking at Jaime and Brienne as a Beauty and the Beast retelling and Cersei is not of that much importance to him and he literally said that Jaime and Cersei’s relationship disgusts him or something along the lines of that. So I really cannot come up with a lot off GRRM worthy scenarios of Jaime dying with his sister other than maybe he will have to sacrifice his life to take her down or some shit but that is boring … in my opinion. Like I just don’t see a realistic ending that involves both of them dying at the same time for the simple reason that in the books Jaime is way more important than Cersei and I, personally wouldn’t sacrifice such a multifaced character like Jaime for a probably very funny to write but sometimes rather one dimensional alcoholic maniac, powerhungry villainess … like Jaime’s redemption arc is far from complete but Cersei’s plot? Idk I am not that far in the books yet but to me it seems like all signs are pointed towards her demise. Again it’s ASOIAF so GRRM could probably still find a way to redeem her or whatever but I don’t really see the point in it. I always felt like he is writing Jaime and Cersei in a way that, as the story goes on, reveals  that they in fact don’t mirror each other but are polar opposites actually pulling away from each other e.g the further Jaime heads towards redemption “the path of light” if you wanna say it like that, the further Cersei heads towards darkness and the only way they are equal can be found in the intensity their characters are involving, showing that House Lannister can be a force of evil and a force of good in equal measure or something going into that direction – it’s just a feeling though.

Also several prophecies and dreams are still unexplained and unresolved as far as I know like why is homeboy dreaming of naked Brienne with a sword in her hand – other than the fact that he is utterly and eternally in love with her

Why are literally all of their dreams revolving around each other

And, this is something I think about at least 435 times a day – D&D are fucking illiterate. While Gwendoline Christie does an amazing, incredible, showstopping, Oscar worty portrayal of everybody’s favorite highborn Ser fucking Brienne of Tarth – D&D’s interpretation of Brienne is …. well the thing you would excpect from two white dudes. They completly left out one part of Brienne which makes her so dear to many – the soft side, the femine side of her, the romantic side.  While she is the best fighter in Westeros, that’s not all she is and wants to be. Like tons of better analysts and writers pointed out – People tend to forget that she a) is a HIGHBORN LADY b) had to become a swordswomen to somehow make it in the Patriachy she is living in – which with her being deemed as ugly is even more of hellish nightmare. She didn’t really see another option other than becoming a Knight because everything else would have meant a lifelong endurance of humilation and submission. So at 16 she said, Fuck it, I will FIGHT any man who wants to oppress me for the rest of my life,  AND SO SHE DID. Her other option would have been eternal unhappiness and marriage to a man like four times her age. She became who she is because she had to. Unlike Arya who always hated being Lady however, Brienne is in someways way more similar to Sansa – both of them believe in tales of knights in shining amour that save maidens. Like as far as I can remember Brienne doesn’t hate being a Lady – she hates how she is being treated for it, THAT being said I think D&D failed to portray the overwhelming amount of that Brienne, so I am not very convinced that D&D truly interpreted and wrote things in the final episode the way GRRM would have – I mean look at the script lmao.

Also one way Jaime Lannister could potentially DIE is in a not literal way. Like the Death of Jaime Lannister could also be him becoming Jaime of Tarth? “Dying” in the arms of the woman he loves? – When he sleeps with Brienne for the first time on their wedding night or at least for the first time ( I mean having sex pretty much equals marriage in their world and they are both big softies so….) Or him “dying” by doing something extremly heroic therefore complety parting ways with the arrogant, the “evil” character parts of him (obessed with Cersei etc.) , signaling the completion of his redemption arc – like idk he slays a dragon for the lack of a better example so “Kingslayer” dies but “Dragonslayer” lives on. Like I am 90% sure the Kingslayer part of him is going to die and the Oathkeeper lives on. 

Also what happens in Beauty and the Beast? The beast dies – or so we think. What if Jaime pulls a Jon and gets murdered and then revived. Honestly we really don’t know how D&D interpreted what GRRM told them.

To sum up

Yeah, Cersei and Jaime could probably end up dying together again and I would probably never know happiness again.  Anything is still possible and everybody is entitled to their theories until the books come out and prove all of us wrong anyway. I personally don’t think it is going to happen I am just willing to believe that GRRM is a better writer than D&D and that is not very hard. For one, Cersei is not THAT important, Jaime’s redemption arc is unfinished and several prophecies unexplained. Jaime and Brienne’s arcs are connected and killing one or both of them of would be an extreme huge loss of unique and multifaceted characters as well as potential for the overall history, and also I think hard to pull of. I personally wouldn’t worry that much because yes Jaime could get killed off but if GRRM decided to do that it will make sense. The thing that made me so fucking depressed over Jaimes death is first and foremost the way he left Brienne which book!Jaime would  simply not do and even  for show Jaime it was soooo fucking out of character that I refuse to believe D&D even watched the other three episodes of Season 8. Like I just refuse to believe that GRRM would even write something like 8x4. Jaime’s death would make me sad because rarely I think you really need to kill a character to tell a good story but at least I know that book!Jaime is going out with a bang not a brick. Also there are not a lot of signs (if any ??) pointing toward Jaime’s death, most signs and prophecies can be interpreted in tons of different ways. Nothing is certain.

If it were upto me he would die in the Epilogue as an old man in the arms of Brienne surrouned by their kids and grandkids. In peace.

So if I were you I would stay out of the theory rabbithole as much as possible. I didn’t join the Jaime Lannister is Alive Clown Club for nothing. Just snuggle up with some snacks and the fluffiest and/or smuttiest Braime fic and have a good time.

Always remember Jaime and Brienne are chilling in the meadows of Tarth, having told the rest of the realm to kindly fuck off unless they are absolutely certain that it will be necessary to call Jaime “ Oathkeeper” of Tarth and a very pregnant Ser Brienne of Tarth to fight whatever creature from the Seven Hells was unleashed onto Westeros now. The only visitors allowed are the Stark Kids. Somewhere in the background Pod is somehow getting chased by a giant dog that stole his sword. The End.

[sludgyreview]

Frozen 2 Review

Okay, this is my first review on here. I am not a professional or anything so I will just kinda write what I felt when leaving the movie. 

First off, I do want to say that I actually really enjoyed the movie. I was a big fan of the first one, even with its flaws, and that’s true for this movie as well. I’m generally critically, but also easily pleased so if you’re not looking for any spoilers, I can give a quick rundown for whether or not you should see it.

Non-Spoiler Mini Review:

If you liked the first movie, you’ll like this one. The characters are still entertaining, music is still good, and it looks great. Overall, just a very solid movie, as anyone would expect.

Okay, time to get spicy. SPOILERS ARE AHEAD

Okay, so almost everything I love about this movie also has a negative side to it. Many of my complaints fall under a giant umbrella complaint of “This movie should have been longer.” The movie was 1 hour and 43 minutes, according to google. I just don’t feel like that was enough time to tell everything they were trying to tell. I’m going to run through everything I think falls under this category.

Kristoff

One of the main characters of the original movie, I think he suffers the same fate that Buzz did in Toy Story 4. He was largely written off as a recurring joke, since most of his screen time had to do with trying to propose to Anna, and failing horribly. Sure, it was funny, but it would’ve been nice to see more out of him. Maybe something about how difficult it is to be in love with a princess or something. (Idk I’m not a screenwriter)

Elsa (And her relationship with Anna)

To preface, I think Elsa was kind of boring in the first movie. She was one dimensional, with basically all of her personality being “I am scared people will know about ice power,” and “people know about ice power, now I am free.” 

I think that this could’ve been the fault of the movie, and not Elsa’s character, since the plot didn’t allow for much development here. However, the second movie is different.

There was a really good concept they started exploring, mainly regarding Anna and Elsa’s relationship. Multiple times throughout the movie, Elsa tries to leave on an adventure without anyone, so they don’t get endangered. First, when she leaves Arendelle in the first place, and second, when she leaves the camp. Anna, understandably, wants to go with her, because last time this happened everything went to hell. She manages to convince Elsa those first two times. This culminates in one last event, where Elsa forcefully distances herself from Anna using ice powers and stuff, and continues the adventure on her own, having tricked Anna (and Olaf) into thinking she was going to go with her. After Anna and Olaf are able to talk to each other again, Olaf comments that he’s actually angry, something he’s never felt before. Anna shares that he has every right to be angry, and it’s clears she’s also angry that Elsa pushed her away again.

So right here, this could’ve been great. The setup is perfect for Elsa to have more character development, realizing that pushing people away isn’t the answer. It could’ve brought depth to this one dimensional character, who realizes her flaw. But that’s just the problem. Due to a certain event, which I will expand upon later, when Anna and Elsa reunite, Anna is only happy to see her, and this aspect is never touched on again.

I love when characters have genuine flaws, and I would’ve loved if more time was spent on this.

Also, one minor thing I did like was the reveal that Elsa and Anna’s parents’ ship actually sank in the Dark Sea, while they were looking to help out Elsa. Elsa understandably felt responsible for their death, which I felt was good character development. However, it is reconciled fairly quickly with Anna, so this also suffers from not having enough time put into it.

All the Elements and Stuff

A new idea introduced in this movie was the Enchanted Forest, which is guarded by 4 spirits, Fire, Earth, Water, and Air. (Wonder where that’s been done?) It was a cool idea to have more magical stuff in this movie. A lingering question from the first movie was, “Where did she get her powers?” or whatever. Watching Elsa tame the different spirits was entertaining, especially the little lizard dude, because he was adorable.

My problem comes in with the whole Ice Spirit thing. It is revealed that Elsa is actually the ice spirit, and that the voice calling to her was her mother. To be honest, I didn’t really understand what was going on. I don’t know what her mother was, or if she had actually been alive or something. I felt like they were trying to convey something that was clear to the writers, but not to the audience. Something about it was just off, so they should’ve taken time to elaborate.

Or I’m dumb idk

Okay, gonna switch over to some other topics now. I want to talk about another main issue I had, that being, “a lack of consequences.” To start, I’m going to talk about my least favorite part of the movie.

The Elsa and Olaf Death Fakeout

My other complaint I felt were passable. Sure, they could’ve been expanded upon, but the movie was still doing fine. This though? I actually didn’t like this.

If you’re reading this without seeing the movie, I’ll give a quick rundown. After Elsa realizes she’s the ice spirit, she goes into a weird cave and learns the truth about a past event that is key to breaking open the magic wall of the Enchanted Forest. (More on that later) For some reason, what ensues is the rapid freezing of Elsa, just as Anna froze in the first movie. Elsa sends a last breath to send an ice message to Anna about the truth, so that Anna can save the forest. Olaf begins to die as well, since Elsa had “died”, and Anna is left in a cave, crying over her dying friend. What follows is a very sad song and all that, and it’s actually pretty emotional.

But here’s the thing. This is a Disney movie. If a character dies in a Disney movie, they build up to it. Big time. They really let you know the character is dead. Elsa “died” so suddenly that you knew right away she was going to come back. And because she was gonna come back, Olaf was going to also. 

And come back they did. After breaking the spell on the Enchanted Forest, Elsa is revived, and saves the day from another event. (See next section.) She brings Olaf back, and everyone lives happily ever after.

This pissed me off. Elsa had pushed Anna away, gone alone, and died because of it, which seemed like a good consequence of her actions. But everything ended up fine anyways. The consequences were almost immediately resolved, and I just hate that. So, here’s what I would’ve done instead!

First off, rewrite the story in such a way that Elsa does not “Die.” Make her get trapped by something in the cave, or have her pass out. Make Anna go save her. This way, their reunion could also include the Elsa character development I wanted so badly, since Anna would know she wasn’t dead. 

Second, a more intriguing option. Some might disagree with this, but maybe make another movie. Set up some sort of conflict that leaves the movie on a cliffhanger, with Elsa comatose and Olaf out of commission until that’s resolved. I’m not sure what the ensuing movie would be, but it would be far more interesting than what we got. Of course, the main issue with this would be ending an animated Disney movie on a cliffhanger, which never happens. I know why this wouldn’t work, I’m just saying it would be better this way. 

Better than trying to fake us out.

Arendelle not being Destroyed

This one is smaller, but a conflict at the end of the movie includes destroying a dam to free the enchanted forest. However, destroying the dam would also destroy Arendelle. Anna, knowing what the “Next right thing” is, something that is commonly referred to in this movie, decides that destroying the dam is the right course of action.

The water makes way to destroy Arendelle, and then Elsa comes in at the last second and saves the day. 

My main problem with this is it lessens the blow of the movie’s message. “Doing the next right thing” is a powerful message to give today. It indicates that even though something may be hard, or you may have to sacrifice something, it’s better to do what you know is right. (Ex: climate change) However, what this demonstrates, especially to younger children, is that doing the right thing doesn’t have any consequences, I think that’s the wrong message to send.

They easily could’ve done the “Arendelle is a people, not a place,” and it all would’ve worked out.

I have one last complaint, and it’s a small one.

Twist Villain

This doesn’t matter too much, but they pulled another “twist villain” on us. The twist is that the conflict that trapped people in the Enchanted forest was started by Arendelle, not by Northuldra. 

Obviously. 

It is a huge exaggeration to call this a twist. I don’t know how it would’ve been rewritten though, so I guess I can let it slide.

Okay I know that sounds like a lot of complaining, but I do have a couple of extra things I was to pay special attention too that were great. I’m gonna go rapid fire because I’m getting tired of writing, and it’s easier to talk about the things you like.

Music- The music was integrated much better into the story than the first movie. Every song advances the plot, except for Lost in the Woods. But that’s excusable, because the whole sequence of Lost in the Woods is hilarious. Can’t wait to see the memes come out of it when the movie is released digitally. Also, they didn’t forget that the movie was a musical halfway through, like the first movie, so that’s nice.

Anna and Olaf- They were still great. Olaf was funny, and Anna was complicated enough. Just as good as they were in the first movie. Also, Anna becoming queen at the end felt right, so I’m glad they did that.

Again, the fire spirit lizard is so cute.

The movie is gorgeous. It’s still amazing to see how far animation is progressing, even since 2013. (Also, Frozen came out in 2013. That’s not okay. :(  )

Okay, that’s my review. I know it sounds like I hated it, but i really didn’t. I thought it was great. If you like animated films, or just the first movie, definitely go see it. Although I suppose at this point if you’ve been reading the whole thing you’ve either already seen it or don’t care.

I plan to review the Devil May Cry Series after this, since I just finished the fifth game. Gonna review them all at once, since I played them one after another. Not sure when that will be, guess we’ll see.

[blue-likethebird]

Vee El Dee: The Good The Bad and The Ugly

If you’ve ever been on this hellsite, you’ve probably heard of Voltron: Legendary Defender. You’ll find the characters and the ships (and the discourse. Dear God the discourse) in tag after tag and on blog after blog. Now that the show has officially come to an end, I’m reviewing the whole damn thing. Talking about what I think worked, what didn’t, and what exactly the show did to make even the fans look at it so harshly now. (Just a warning “The Ugly” section discusses racism, and homophobia so if any of that triggers you I’d suggest you skip it)

Review under the cut

The Good

The Character Potential:

   Voltron’s characters had so much potential at the beginning. Their motivations, potential subplots, and clues to their arcs the first crew left us were actually interesting. How did Coran know Allura before they were frozen? What happened that caused Shiro to lose his arm? Is Lance going to reunite with his family? The show didn’t answer all of these questions mind you, but at the time they were introduced, those questions felt like they were worth sticking around to hear the answers.

The First Season:

   The first season is the only season that genuinely sticks out for me, way back in ye olden days when Voltron was a character driven show as opposed to plot focused. In season one, the plot took a backseat and the characters were what held up the show, and it’s probably not a coincidence that most of the character development and more emotional/memorable scenes occurred in season one, when there was time for the characters to develop. Likewise, the character focus allowed for everyone to get their day in the limelight -not just the characters who were valuable to the plot at the moment-.

The Balmera and The Return to The Balmera:

     I am never gonna be shy about my opinion that the Balmera arc is one of the strongest arcs that Voltron has had. Allura using the story of her people to inspire others and using Altea’s ancient connection to the Balmera to save an entire damn civilization! The goddamn adorable chemistry between Hunk and Shay! Believable suspense! Unlocking Lion Powers! The Balmera arc had it all and I was fed. Plus, Balmera gave us the introduction of the most blessed couple in Voltron history, hunay.

The Bad:

The Timeskips:

In theory, there’s nothing wrong with a timeskip. But you’ve gotta be able to show that the characters and show’s universe changed in some way during that timeskip and you can’t use them just to avoid actual story and character development. Take season six (? Or was it five? I don’t remember and I don’t wanna) when Keith and Krolia take a two year camping trip on a space whale while Voltron is off doing God knows what. Presumably during that time they developed some sort of mother-son relationship but we don’t get to see that development happening, or how that new relationship changed them, or really any proof that the timeskip happened at all besides Keith getting Galra marks and a teleporting space wolf. That particular time jump felt more like a cop-out to avoid writing Keith bonding with his mom.

Pacing:

To put it plainly, the pace is way too fast for anything to stick. The writing cycles from one season's worth of plot twists and WTF? moments to the next at the speed of light, leaving no time to address how the previous events affected the characters involved or not the show’s universe as a whole. So Lotor was actually evil all along and was using Allura to achieve his goals? Well there’s no time to mention how Allura feels about that, we’ve got three more surprise twists and a magic robot to shove into the plot! On the flip side however, the pacing is slower than a geriatric snail during fight scenes. The giant robot fights are usually the most exciting part of anything, but in Voltron, the fights are so formulaic that they just kinda… blur together into a boring fog. Lemme know if you can name this Voltron fight scene: the team’s fighting some random baddie, there’s a lot of yelling, someone gets a power up just big enough to defeat the current baddies when a bigger, eviler baddie appears who’s more powerful than the power up they just got, new baddie whoops Voltron’s ass, the support team watches in horror, someone else gets a power up that’s powerful enough to defeat the new bad guy, Voltron reins triumphant. What fight scene was that?

The Filler Episodes:

The fast pacing also means that they need to set aside breather episodes just to allow characters to interact besides in battle. That’s all well and good and there’s nothing wrong with filler episodes, if done right they can be some of the most memorable episodes a show can have (The Tales of Ba Sing Se anyone?) that is, if done right. But Voltron filler episodes don’t have that going for them. Filler episodes in vee el dee are an oasis of mud in the desert that is canon, they’re a generally unhelpful standstill point amidst a constantly changing series. I’ll admit that they can be funny at times but for the most part filler episodes are bizarre, unnecessary, and more often than not, poorly timed. If we just heard about a millenniums old empire folding in on itself and we’re just about to see a major character attempt suicide do we really need to see Coran go batshit while planning a space Disney On Ice?

The Ugly:

Racism:

#justiceforallura

I must confess that I am whiter than a polar bear in a snowstorm, but even I know that killing off a black girl (or black coded as the case may be), constantly torturing the Japanese guy, reducing the Samoan guy to food and fat jokes, and having the latino guy flirt with everyone before turning him into a farmer isn’t the best way to handle writing characters of colour. Denying said characters of colour arcs and screen time in favour of giving your white characters the same story in a different hat over and over again is also not the best treatment you can offer your poc characters. That’s not even mentioning other horrible treatment and stereotypes you’ll see the Voltron characters of colour experience. Let us also recall #notallgalra, the “what if the genocide victim was actually the bad guy” au mess in s3, all those “lol lance is stupid” jokes, the black character Kinkade speaking mainly in grunts, Allura dying to redeem the two genocidal dudes responsible for most of her trauma, and Hunk’s (half black half Samoan) family being enslaved at a fucking concentration camp like goddamn what the hell were you thinking Voltron that’s like hetalia levels of fucked up when we remember what kind of genuinely awful shit this show’s done to it’s minority characters.

Homophobia:

If you’re reading my review in the Voltron tag, and you watched the whole series, then there’s no way in hell that you haven’t heard about Adam dying and the backlash against Voltron for it. If you are somehow the .000001% of people who don’t know, Adam (a gay moc) was Shiro’s (another gay moc) fiancé who got a grand total of forty five seconds of screen time before dying when the Galra invaded earth. Meanwhile, L*tor and Allura’s relationship got almost triple that despite being abusive as fuck. But Shiro got married at the end of season 8! In a credits scene, to a guy in the background of a couple of scenes Shiro was also in. When lgbt fans expressed outrage at their rep being hyped up despite having no bearing on the plot or even Shiro as a character outside of one scene, instead of owning up to their mistakes, the crew of Vee El Dee said (or implied) that it was the fault of lgbt fans for hyping ourselves up. Yeah okay. Except after that we got confirmation that Ezor and Zethrid were a couple! Yay! Clearly a win for us El Gee Bee Tees right? Well… not really considering that both of them were depicted as psychotic torturers who also died a couple minutes later. Gotta love those crazy dead lesbians amirite?

Klance:

But why is klance in the “ugly” section!? You cry, I thought you were a klanti! I am an anti and I did ship klance but that’s not what I wanna talk about right now. When I put klance under ugly I wanted to discuss two things, the crew and the shippers. First let’s talk the crew; several folks on the Voltron staff have at the very least, not reacted negatively to the omnipresent ship that is Keith and Lance. I’m sure you’ll also remember that Lance’s VA Jeremy Shada was considered a KICK icon before that went south. The crew was also purposefully misleading when they talked about possible romances for Keith and Lance, the language they used was ambiguous enough that shippers interpreted it as proof that klance would become canon. When it inevitably didn’t and shit hit the fan, the staff backpedaled again. Stating that klance was never meant to be interpreted as romantic and we were all fools for thinking otherwise. That’s happened in the past so it’s a reasonable defence, except for the fact that scenes with Keith and Lance tended to contain unnecessary parallels to canonically romantic relationships, (the bonding moment paralleling an allurance scene in season six and their talk at the start of season eight paralleling two scenes, hunay in season one and l*tura in season five). So it’s not unreasonable to be a little suspicious there. Klance was huge on the internet, it’s impossible for the crew to have been completely unaware of what they were doing.

Next I wanna talk shippers. I’m not saying that being disappointed that a ship didn’t become canon is a bad thing. But when you act like that’s the worst thing Voltron did amidst the sea of ableism, racism and homophobia it gets a little tiring. The fact that so many klancers rushed to demonize Allura after season seven and eight and add on that I saw more people complaining about klance not becoming canon king than Allura dying a completely unnecessary death to redeem L*tor of all people was the final straw. I washed my hands of klance and Voltron as a whole.

———————————————

So that’s my review of V*ltron. I was gonna do a separate review of season eight but I didn’t even finish s8 and to be honest it probably wouldn’t have been any more than the words “Fuck Vee El Dee, Allura Deserved Better” in big pink letters. And I know I probably made someone angry with this review but if you actually managed to stick around my ramblings all the way to the end then I salute you regardless of whether or not you agree with me.