#listen I am just nervous

[thejourneystartstoday]

If I say this enough it will speak it into existence: being a Pokémon master does not have to mean being the strongest battler. I’m sure being a strong battler comes with the territory but there are still regions Ash hasn’t been to and Pokémon he hasn’t met. He’s going to keep traveling until he’s seen them all.

[navree]

i will say, john apparently having memory issues is genuinely putting me in arthur's headspace in a way nothing else has yet because i feel blind now too. i can't trust john's descriptions as factual, i can't know that we don't really know who noel is and that he's just a newcomer (and harlan voicing literally every character doesn't help at all), i can't even have a firm idea of what's going on, because the person i'm relying on to be my narrator, the same person arthur's relying on to be his eyes, is demonstrably no longer reliable (and for me as a listener it's actually worse cuz unlike arthur i know john's lying about something and that he's got an ulterior motive due to his deal with kayne that arthur is entirely unaware of). it's very good, and it also creates a sense of unease and dread which is good for a horror podcast.

[jasperyourmutt]

hi everyone <3

I have a bit of a life update. To make a long story short, last week I was diagnosed with PTSD. I have been having a... very hard time coming to terms with that. For most of my life I believed I just had a bad anxiety disorder, but I am now realizing that is unfortunately not the case. The past couple months I have been in a near constant state of fight or flight, fear, panic, whatever you want to call it- without really realizing it. and man. it has been exhausting, mentally, physically, spiritually. I just thought it was normal to feel like this all the time. i assumed everyone felt like this. my therapist has helped me realize I am in a lot of pain right now and it is not normal. so. the good news is that there is an intensive trauma therapy that I will be doing for the next couple months that is going to really help me recover. i love and trust my therapist with my whole heart. there is a light at the end of the tunnel. i am finally getting the help i need. so. unfortunately I am going to step away from tumblr for a bit. i dont really want to do this, i love being on here. i love interacting with all the friends i've made here. kink has become a very important and healing part of my life. but it is just a little too much for me at the moment. I'm not sure when I will return, could be a couple weeks, a couple months. I'll return when I feel right. I feel like this may be a little odd to share here, but it's important to me to acknowledge and share that I have been having a really hard time. i tend to downplay when i'm in pain. i feel like people usually don't care about me (i know this is very very much not the case. im trying to convince my brain of that too.) its really hard for me to tell people when i am struggling, especially in my real life. so i am taking baby steps and starting here. so, until I return- chase your tails for me, roll in the grass, bark at the squirrels. take care of yourselves. if you are struggling, know youre loved. get the help you need. i will be curling up in my dog bed and taking a nap in the sun. ruff ruff. wag wag. much love to all of you.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Drew WWX and LWJ after I finished my rewatch of The Untamed a few months ago. I have gotten marginally better. May this set a benchmark for what to expect from this blog.

June 2023 redraw, June 2024 redraw

[johnslittlespoon]

Seven(ish) Sentence Sunday

Rule: Post seven(ish) sentences of your current WIP - or just a snippet who cares! And tag your writer friends to see what they're working on.

thank u thank uuu for the tag @nicijones! <3

“I’ll get you a fake ID,” Curt says decidedly, shrugging like it’s no big deal. “The summer’s young; can’t spend it ditching you every time I go out to drink.” “You don’t know how to get a fake ID,” John says, more as a plea than a statement. “Yeah, I do,” he argues, and with the older employees Curt hangs out with when he’s working the bar at the hotel, John’s inclined to believe him. “How?” He tries one last time to trip him up anyway, a weak appeal for mercy, but Curt only grins, reaching a hand out to squish John’s cheeks between his thumb and fingers. “Don’t you know? A lady never tells her secrets, John.” So that’s how John ends up tucked away in a small booth in the corner of some pub that looks lost to the sixties, old signage and other vintage memorabilia lining the wooden walls, cheery neon LED graphics adorning the kegs behind the diner–style bar.

tagging @air-exec, @counting0nit, @eternallytired17, @hauntingcontradiction, @skyyguy, anyone else who wants to! <3

[abessive-art]

Whuh. what do you mea. Tpp is ending….. orz

[oneluckydragon]

got hit with the echo+sora brainrot so i am once more rambling in your askbox about it. because reasons.

anywho i think there is something truly saddening about echo's struggles to make peace within herself and how she truly finds it hard to find that peace when she is so certain that if the truth about her origins were to be revealed to the world, much less to *sora*, everything she achieved, everything she worked for, all of which matters to her most, will crumble away in a moment's notice.

but the fear of losing all your life's work is none compared to the fear of losing sora. the feeling of poison that settled itself within themselves and between each other out of fear and tragedy of what had happened to them is familiar. echo's resemblance to dusknoir was already enough to set the two off because of how much it had all hurt to see someone you love and yourself turn into a mockery and a splitting image of someone who had pretended to care yet showed he never did at all, but this poison is louder. it hurts to bare, to carry, and to have none but yourself to be its sole holder.

but this poison, this feeling of heartache is different. because whereas the previous pain was something both of them felt, sora was lucky enough to not have known the truth about the person who she cares for so dearly.

echo knows that she used to be darkrai. and it haunts her to have known that her previous incarnation was so *cruel*, all for the sake of it just feeling right. wishing to engulf an entire world in darkness, solely for whatever desire she used to have.

and for how much she knows, how much she will hammer it into her own head that she is *not* like that anymore, that she looks at her past with sneer and disgust and that she will not be the barer of evil anymore, it will not matter in the slightest when she will have to look at sora if she were to ever find out.

how afraid, angry and dejected she would look when finding out, and how she will go on the defense/offense because of how much this will overwhelm her.

because when echo looks at her own shadow, she sees herself for what she is. she knows what she is, be it out of shame or guilt.

but when sora will look at it, she will see a tall, contorting and menacing shadow, towering over with a bright cyan eye doing nothing but looking at her, as if tempting her to make the next move.

and she defends herself. from someone she knows will not harm her. she raises her arms up in self defense from a hand that would never hurt her more than the world has already did.

she knows echo will not hurt her. and thats why she is afraid.

Oh my oh my OH MY, Sinnoh!!! YES YES YES!

HOW!!! IN THE WORLD!!! Are you so good at crawling into my head and creating these vivid analysis/snippets on my OCs??? I've barely shared ANY information about Echo and Sora because I've been wanting to hoard most of my stuff for when my fic is finally finished... but... I think you've broken my resolve a bit, if I'm entirely honest.

You know what? I'm so inspired by your accuracy and eagerness to talk about my girls that I'm gonna forgo my crippling anxiety regarding my writing skills and instead post a snippet of my WIP fic here as a treat for you. A teaser, if you will. Since I have no idea when the fic in question will actually be done and ready (or when I will be satisfied with it, cause the thing is currently 36,000 words and still slowly climbing). And now you've got me eager to share SOMETHING of my fic with you and anyone that might want to take a peek at it.

Please enjoy this conversation between Dusknoir and Echo. The topic deals a lot with what you'd described up above!! c:

[Note: this is an unedited part of my fic because I am still in the process of writing and it may change in the future, so please be gentle w/ me but I'd love to read any thoughts/comments that pop up while reading!! pls send asks or replies or anything really cause I love you guys]

+++ +++ +++ +++ +++ +++ +++ +++ +++ +++ +++ +++ +++ +++

“I’m going to tell you something now, and you are going to listen.” Echo commands with a sharp bite in her voice that Dusknoir cannot fathom ignoring. He pauses and then offers a slow nod, waiting, wondering what she could possibly desire to tell him at a time like this, of all things.

Minutes pass as Echo remains rooted in place, still as her own shadow, and her eyes dart around as she stares at the patches of dry grass and sand beneath her paws. Her claws clench and unclench, digging into the earth like daggers as the wind of the forest (it’s trees so close, just behind them, a looming sort of presence that could engulf them whole) whistles through the surrounding branches, carrying stray leaves of many bright greens through the chilling breeze. Dusknoir watches them dance around Echo, twirling, floating down, down, down… but it’s quiet, too quiet, and Dusknoir feels a shiver pass through him when Echo’s voice finally rings out through the silence.

"When I evolved, Sora was petrified," She says, nearly a whisper, an admission that melts away her confidence and appears to bring her a flood of both shame and regret. Her face twists up then, strangely, like she’d felt a twinge of pain from somewhere deep inside the very fabric of her own soul and was unable to quell it. "She couldn’t even bring herself to look at me most days. At first, my appearance… well, it reminded her too much of you. And eventually of someone I used to be.”

Someone I used to be. At that, Dusknoir’s immediate reaction is to recall Echo’s previous life as a human, as the miserable shell of a creature surviving alongside Grovyle that he’d relentlessly hunted in the dark future. A human made of contempt and anger and apathy, who never smiled or laughed or cried or screamed like the old legends said humans would-- an entity that simply existed rather than lived. An echo of a life long dead and buried. But, judging by her tone, by her voice, by some uneasy intuition itching in the back of his mind like a swarm of pestilent Ninjask… he knows that she means something else entirely. Something that she isn’t willing to share. And frankly, that concept utterly terrifies him.

Someone I used to be. Dusknoir wants to speak, to break his own silence, wants to ask the myriad of questions bubbling up in his throat because this isn't the first time she's hinted at another life beyond being human, but those questions die at the source like a flame doused in water. And always the coward, coward, coward, instead he takes the easy way out by doing nothing at all. Whether Echo notices his surge of inner conflict or not-- the nervous wring of his hands and the tremble in his spine that he cannot control under her gaze-- she does not react.

“I’d take a step and Sora would flinch away.” Echo confesses, her markings flickering with light before going dark and dead, as if her body wished to snuff them out entirely, a deep seated rejection, a self-loathing so strong that Dusknoir cannot help but recognize it and empathize, and his heart aches, “It took ages for her to stop shaking when I’d speak. To stop looking at me like-- like I was going to…” 

Echo grimaces like she’s enduring waves of grueling torture and doesn’t finish that string of thought, but it’s not hard to make an educated guess on what went unsaid. Like I was going to betray her. Hurt her. Break her heart. She’s been through so much already and I couldn’t bear to be another influence in the history of her suffering. I hate myself because of how I made her feel. When her eyes went wide in fear and through them I could see myself staring back like some sort of burden, some sort of curse.

“I am not my past.” Proud and true, Echo straightens up and holds her head high, a spark igniting in her eyes, a glint of determination, a will to keep going and going despite such circumstances and strife, despite this horrid, unspeakable past that haunts her so, “And I am definitely not you. It’s taken a while, but I know that much now. I’ve accepted it.”

I am not my past. And I am definitely not you.

A sigh, a breath, and Echo glances at him with a certain sorrow that cannot be described, a sorrow that lingers even through the veil of her tenacity, "But no matter how I feel, no matter my conviction, my shadows still find ways through the cracks. Every time I think I'm getting a grip and that I might finally understand myself… I change all over again." She admits, sounding more angry and tired than defeated now-- like a mirror of her old self, her human self that had clawed and damned and cursed him, despised him more than anything. "I hate it. I hate that I never truly know who I am. That I have to learn about my past through stories others tell me, or through fragments of twisted, broken memories that I wouldn't wish on anyone. Through conflict and pain and… and..."

"Echo," Dusknoir murmurs her name softly, an offering, a potential escape if only she would wish to drop the subject and forget this conversation had ever happened-- if she'd overstepped and needed an excuse to back out, a diversion, an understanding. And briefly, Dusknoir wonders why she is opening up about this particular information, why she would delve into something so vulnerable, so personal. Why she would bring up this hurtful history when it obviously brings her great discomfort.

And then, he gets an answer.

“You’re lucky, Dusknoir." There it is, that wildfire burning in her eyes again. A spark that’s new and bold and startling. But lucky? No, never. He'd have to disagree, accounting the mountain of evidence that was his life and regrettable deeds.

"You already know exactly who you are and what you’ve done, and most importantly why. You have more than a tattered picture of yourself that reflects broken answers. And you can change with that knowledge. I see you trying.” She tells him, searching, looking for something so deeply and Dusknoir wishes he knew what it could be so that he could give it to her, because he would, he would gladly give it to her without a second thought if it meant they could be close again. But he isn’t a fool, and he’s wise enough to know they’ll never be like they were before. “And if somehow I could change, even as half-assed as I have. Well, then what’s your excuse?”

You can do it, say her unspoken words, I believe in you.

[omentranslates]

Not gonna bother titling this ok so at Momocon yesterday they showed a relationship chart that showed both the English and original Japanese text and I have some INSIGHTS (JUST INSIGHTS) about how they translated it and they're mostly superfluous but I have rabies about this anime SO

YOU CAN VIEW THE CHART IN FULL HERE AND IT'S FROM THIS SUPER COOL LIVETWEET THREAD BY QUINN

OK SO HERE'S MY OBSERVATIONS:

(+) in Knives's line about Vash the language implies that Knives believes Vash has already been brainwashed not that he's in the process of it and also that the brainwashing IS his love of humanity. Lit translation including every word: "Wants to save his younger brother who has been unfortunately brainwashed/mindcontrolled into follies such as loving humans" (does not specify that loving humans is the only "folly" actually uses particle that suggests there are others and Vash is doing multiple things Knives disapproves of (you could probably use a more normal word than folly like literally just foolish action but I like folly bc I think it has the same weird vibe as 愚 which is part of the word he uses in JP))

(+) in JP the same word is used for mindcontrolled in Livio's line is used for brainwashed in Knives's line about Vash

(+) part of Vash's line to Wolfwood is left out: "thinks he's an intrinsically good person AND wants him to be good again, Lit. translation "wants him to return from bad back to being good (of his own volition)"

(+) phrasing that they translated to irritable is 気に食わない, I JUST HAVE A DIFFERENT PREFERENCE I JUST THINK THIS PHRASE HAS A VIBE THAT GOES A LITTLE BEYOND "IRRITATED" my personal favorite eng equivalent is "unable to stomach" if it was my tl I would say: "because Vash's pacifist ideals run contrary to his own beliefs he cannot stomach them"

(+) the section they titled Fanatics in JP is 狂信者 (lit. fanatic, never seen 狂 used in a way that wasn't negative) instead of 崇拝者 (more positive connotation ig, lit. worshipper) and they seem to be using these terms kind of interchangeably bc they also in the description of the Eye of Michael use the word 崇敬派. Legato notably calls the cult 崇拝者 in episode 6 and Roberto uses 崇敬派 to describe them in episode 5 and I FEEL like I remember the subs translating that part to fanatical or fanatics or something equally negative but I can't remember and I can't check the episode for a while so don't quote me if I'm stupid I also don't remember where or if they say 狂信者 in the anime they probably do but I wasn't looking out for that one sorry this is literally just me rambling abt word association than something more comprehensive

OK THATS ALL I HAD.

TO BE CLEAR I DONT MEAN TO CONTRADICT ANYTHING THE OFFICIAL TEAM HAD TO SAY OR ANY CHOICES THEY MADE WITH THE TL NO DISRESPECT INTENDED WHATSOEVER I AM JUST YELLING ABT STUFF I NOTICED

[capybaraonabicycle]

Anne: I want to be like you: Unmarried because I don't give a shit about romance.

Josephine: Anne, I'm a lesbian. And my wife just died.

[playername-player-of-games]

oli and 🌸

🌸: draw a character with flowers that match their personality (did i pick good ones let's find out together)

hiii so do you remember in empires s2 when all of the empires all had to bring some artifact/item important to their empire to pix's museum? this is that except instead Pix goes on a road trip with the Historian’s Guild to gather all of them in person and Oli tags along per Gem's request and the real adventure was the queerplatonic relationship we made along the way. have some olipix <3

//

Oli wipes his hands on his pants. "We've got nothin' to do today, yeah?"

Pix nods, "everyone's spending the day in town, and once they're back we'll have to do a headcount and pack up so we can leave first thing tomorrow."

"Okay but like, we're not doing anything 'til they get back, yeah?"

"Er- yes? Oli, what do you have planned?"

//

They end up in a flower field just outside of camp- still accessible, for anyone who needs the leader of the guild, but tucked away behind two caravans in a way that makes it feel as though they're alone.

Oli circles around one caravan with a fist full of flowers and a cream patchwork picnic blanket draped over one arm. Pix scoops up the two books Oli allowed him to bring, and helps spread out the blanket.

"I picked some daisies for you," Oli says as they settle- Pix stacking his books, and Oli spreading out rows of tiny blossoms, "I hope that's alright."

"That's fine."

Pix watches him sort them- length, number of petals, general shape- he smiles to himself and picks up a book and quill.

Oli looks up, "Oi, what are you doing, fella?"

"Sorting out assignments," he scratches jobs beside names, wishing he'd brought a pencil instead when ink drips onto his fingers. "Everyone will need a job when they get back to camp."

"What? No no," Oli reaches for his quill- Pix tilts the book out of his reach, looking up to see Oli's frown. "You're meant to be relaxing. Put that away, sir!"

Pix releases his quill. Oli snatches it by the feather and sets it aside, the black ink leaving stains on the blanket.

"I'll need to do it later," Pix says as Oli takes his book. He blows on the open page to dry the ink a bit faster, then closes it and sets that aside as well, placing the quill on top.

"Yes, later." Oli brushes loose petals off his pants and smiles at him, "now go find some flowers for me! I want an elegant crown, Pixlriffs. Utterly stunning in every way, and I will settle for nothing less than perfection."

Pix chuckles, getting to his feet. His other book sits on the blanket- Oli snatches that too and starts stacking daisies on it. So much for reading on the way. Oli waves him off.

"Go! Flowers don't pick themselves, Pix."

"I'm going, I'm going," he steps carefully off the blanket, already scanning the treeline for patches of flowers. He spots some in the nearby field and starts that way. Azure bluets maybe? Or some poppies?

"Oh, Pix?"

"Hm?"

"Will you get my ribbon box, please, when you come back? I left it in our room."

//

Pixl returns to the blanket with an armful of sunflowers, cornflowers, and a box of decorative ribbons. Oli's tugging the box out of his hand before he's even settled on the blanket, and he scrambles to keep a hold on all the flowers he's gathered.

"Thank you for this," Oli says. He isn't looking at him when he says it, already digging through the bright colored ribbons, pulling out orange, gold, red, pink, setting them all aside. There's a half finished daisy chain laid out over one of his thighs, and a small pile of discarded daisies next to the quill.

"You're welcome," Pix answers, setting out his flowers between them on the blanket. He sorts them simpler than Oli did, sunflowers here, cornflowers there, and soon Oli is putting ribbons in his hands-

"I'd like these ones."

Blue and white, with light lacy trim on the sides. Barely noticeable, but a nice, subtle touch.

"Pretty please," Oli says.

Pix smiles, "I'll do my best."

//

Their meandering conversation cuts off as Oli lifts himself onto his knees and shuffles across the blanket.

He holds out his daisy chain crown, "hold still."

Pix pauses his weaving and bows his head just so, making it easier for Oli to reach. A light weight settles, then pulls away. Oli fluffs up his hair a bit, then the light weight is back, and he's shuffling back.

"There we are!" Oli beams, bright as the sun, as pride and fondness overwhelm his tone. "Beautiful."

Pix laughs, "thank you."

"Anytime." Oli looks down at the mess he's made of the flowers. Pix resumes his weaving as he makes two piles of the flowers- sunflowers here, cornflowers there, this time at the edge of the blanket. Still within reach, but clear enough now for Oli to fully lay down with his head in Pixl's lap.

"Is this alright?" he asks.

Pix brushes his nose with a cornflower as if it's a paintbrush, chuckling at the side eye he gives before swatting the flower away.

"You're fine," Pix tells him.

"Good. I'm going to nap."

Pix picks up another sunflower and starts fitting it onto the crown. "Goodnight."

He wraps the ribbon and other stems around to keep it in place. Oli's eyes are closed. He's frowning. He opens one eye to glare up at Pix.

"What, no sweet wishes? No goodnight kiss?"

Pix pulls off a loose petal and places it in the center of Oli's forehead.

"I'm working on your crown, Oli," he brushes the petal off, runs his fingers through Oli's hair. "Nothing less than perfection, remember?"

Oli pouts, closing his eyes again. "Fine."

Pix chuckles, "sweet dreams."

"Thank you."

//

Oli doesn't end up napping.

He doesn't exactly talk, either- at least not with his usual gusto. He's calm, quiet, handing Pixl whatever flowers he can't reach and complimenting the daisy crown, and correcting any little mistakes Pixl's made with his crown. Guild members come and go, some joining in conversations, others requesting help- when Oli isn't needed he turns to hide his face until Pix can talk to him again. They dance between topics that are easy to pick up and drop off as needed- favorite pattern of horse, how to decorate the caravan, what they'll do with the dragon when it hatches.

Pix requests a final cornflower. Oli passes it over.

"Do you really like me?" Oli asks, soft as petals.

Pix ties off the last ribbon and meets his eye with a smile. "I do."

Oli smiles, blinking sleepily. Pix lifts the crown.

"You ready for your crown?"

Oli brightens. Slowly pushes himself up and turns around so that he's facing Pix- Pix turns the crown around so that the ribbons will trail down his back. Oli bows his head. Pix fluffs up his hair and gently places it atop his head- adjusting until it fits nicely.

When Oli looks up, he's got a crown of sunflowers and cornflowers, with white and blue ribbons peeking through the gaps. The sun and the sky, the brightest days captured in his smile.

Pix reaches out, pulling the ribbons off of Oli's shoulders so that they hang freely down his back. Oli watches the movement, catches Pix's hand as he pulls away.

"Thank you for this," Oli says, holding Pix's hand in both of his. He traces lines between his freckles, as if they're constellations. "I know work is important, but rest is important too, and I thought a break would be nice."

Pix cups Oli's cheek in his hand, gently cutting him off. He kisses his forehead and tucks him into a hug.

"Thank you for this," Pix answers, carefully running a hand up and down his back. Oli holds on tight. "This was nice."

[worfianism]

Listen whoever decided to pair up La'an and an alternate version of Jim Kirk in a romcom style classic time travel episode actually galaxy brained. Freaking great episode.

[sunmisbf]

bitches will be obsessed w dpr ian n then ask how u knew they had a Disorder

[unknownarmageddon]

What do u think would be Killer's top 10 fav songs.....(malicious intent/j)

INCREDIBLE QUESTION hi. my entire utmv career has led me to this moment

gonna preface this by saying this is based on a crazy amount on vibes and bias and also my incredibly headcanoned image of him don’t sue me please wailing

also it’s only very vaguely in order sorry i am the absolute worst at tier lists so it’s just. a list of songs i think he’d like. also this is definitely more than ten i couldn’t narrow it down that much weeping

Choke - IDKHOW

Bleed Magic - IDKHOW

Pictures of Girls - Wallows

I Don’t Care - Fall Out Boy

Hold Me Like A Grudge - Fall Out Boy

Governator - Green Day

Brain Stew - Green Day

Dilemma - Green Day

Lalala - Noahfinnce

Scumbag - Noahfinnce

Pity - Noahfinnce

Better Days - Noahfinnce

Don’t Threaten Me With A Good Time - PATD

Garbage Day - Rare Americans

Regret - St. Vincent

Bang Bang - Green Day

Pretty Waste - Bones UK

Yes I’m a Mess - AJR

Novocaine - Fall Out Boy

Kicks - Barns Courtney

Stay Frosty Royal Milk Tea - Fall Out Boy

[acebytaemin]

LINO LEE MUJIN SERVICE…

[kazuichikazuichi]

käärijä drawing!!! because i have fallen in love with this man and i need to enforce my love for him onto everyone!!!!!!

can't believe the esc final was over a week ago, i am still INCREDIBLY bitter about the results. he should've won ughhhh i am exploding the jury in my mind💥💥💥💥 (p.s. tap the drawing for better quality if it's blurry 🥲)

[t0asty1]

today feels like an excellent day to embarrass myself and make bad desicions that i will definitely regret, so i will text my crush that i haven’t talked to for months, and has also told me that he is not romantically interested in me, and tell him all the ways he is lovely and gorgeous