he makes her feel selfless and she makes him feel selfish
attempt at a meta or rather more incoherent gushing about these two
I love the contrast of the above scene, how Vash is joyous, all-smiling. While Meryl is wrecked, in tears. Most often, it seems that’s how they also remember each other.
Meryl likes to remember Vash happy and at peace. Vash remembers Meryl while she’s solemn and also a bit vulnerable. In a way, they inspire emotion in each other that’s hard for them to express. Vash has had a lot of sadness in his life, but while he will always wear a smile, I think he finds it harder to let himself be genuinely happy than to cry. Meanwhile, Meryl hates to cry. She hates to let down her guard and appear as if she can’t take care of herself, but with Vash, she really can’t help herself.
I ship WildeHopps (another goofy tall character hiding sadness with a smirk and a straight-laced, determined shorty. even their eyecolors are the same!) and I remember that there was a thing in the fandom about foxes that they can’t help but shout when they see their mate, and I don’t know how accurate the translations are, but even when they reunite again, Vash can’t help but shout out ‘Meryl!’ in happiness (seriously despite how surprised he was, he could’t help his smile. and he only called out meryl despite milly also being there, like rude, vash, if milly wasn’t such a sweetheart and loved you both to bits, but anyway, I digress…)
I really loved the fistbump (*cough indirect kiss cough*) scene so much because in asmuch as it was Vash comforting Meryl, it was also about him taking comfort in Meryl, which when we remember from his waterworks when Marlon called him out on it, he previously found really hard to do.
On Meryl’s side, we actually see that she has the same values as Vash. I love the Little Arcadia chapter/episode so much for this reason. Grandpa’s speech to Meryl about following your own path and your connection to your parents, resonated with her, but we as the readers also know that it’s something that would have also resonated with Vash. She wanted to resolve the conflict without anyone losing their life, and at first couldn’t understand why something like land would be more important than life. But push comes to shove, when she sees the resolve of someone to protect something, she puts her life on the line anyway. We even see traces of it in the anime with how she also shoots non-lethal shots, and that one time when she saved Vash, she shot the light to fall on the person instead of shooting the person. That sort of pacifism is present in her and Milly although they may not be as obvious about it as Vash, which is why despite himself, Vash finds himself growing closer to the girls and considering them as among his most important people despite the fact that he knew them only recently compared to the people from Home and Marlon. Even Milly’s principles regarding family bonds would also be something that would resonate with Vash, and it’s important that he was there in the shadows because I think that was the turning point in how he started to consider them his friends. So in a lot of ways, despite Meryl not wanting him to, I think Vash truly sees the vulnerability that she tries to hide. And I find it so believable and endearing that he would be drawn to her because of that similarity and connection between them.
they both inspire hope in each other
When I say that Vash inspires Meryl to be selfless, it’s in the way she will risk everything just so she can be there for Vash, to overcome fear and her own human limitations, just so she can hold him close. Vash (and through his connections with others like Luida) inspires in Meryl hope for a better world. At the same time, I always got the feeling that the type of love that Meryl felt was something she would be content to keep on giving to this person who always kept on giving to others, even when there was a chance that she would never get it back or have it returned. I imagine that she would have been fine with that as long as Vash felt that he was unconditionally loved.
When I say, Meryl makes Vash feel selfish, it is within the context that selfish for Vash is already a normal level or base desire of wanting to be happy in other people. I remember Legato’s observation of Vash, that he considered himself as having utterly no value in this world. Of course a person like that would be fine with dying!
But this person who considers himself worthless, eventually makes a promise like this.
Vash must know that there’s a high likelihood he’ll die. Someone as self-sacrificial as him wouldn’t want anyone, much less a person he cares deeply for, to be hurt by him. And yet he makes this ‘selfish’ request of Meryl anyways. And it matters so, so much that he does. Because it shows that he can consider himself as someone who can make another person happy. It’s a promise to her, as well as to himself, that he won’t let himself simply die. He wouldn’t anyway because of how much he values Rem, but with this promise, it feels like his wanting to live is finally something he wants to do for himself, and not just as a continuation of Rem’s memory. Like with the fistbump scene, this promise was as much for him as for Meryl. I know he still would have fought to live and to protect humans, but at the same time, in the wake of Wolfwood’s death, I also felt that he would have been at peace should he have died trying. So this promise was to tether himself (to her). It’s something to keep him fighting to live now that he knows there’s someone out there waiting for him, by his own actions at that. More than that or simply put, it’s just a simple thing of allowing himself to want something or someone.
And this is how Meryl inspires hope in him. All this time he’s loved humans, but it always felt like he was living beside them and not with them. He doesn’t know what it is with Meryl, maybe her sheer stubbornness, but somehow she ends up representing that hope, that possibility of finally living together with humans (with her). In contrast to Meryl’s hope, it’s a very simple and humane one. To have someone care for him, to have someone wait for him, to have someone to come home to, to have someone who loves him. And it’s funny that it seems that Meryl expects nothing in return for her overwhelming love for Vash, because Vash actually meets her halfway. He’s the one to initiate the kiss. He’s the one to make the promise and have her promise. Finally, he’s taking the chance of his happiness into his own hands and doing something about it. I just, I really can’t with them. No wonder I ended up being vashmeryl trash.
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the difference between zosopp and sanuso (romantic OR platonic) is that Usopp is Zoro's specialest little guy and Zoro is someone Usopp hangs out with and looks up to and hides behind when things get scary, but Sanji and Usopp are best friends. They horse around, they beat each other up, they confide their worst fears trying to one up each other. Usopp hides behind Sanji sometimes, sure, but idk, Sanji's weaknesses are more obvious (bugs, fighting women, etc) so there are times when Usopp has to stand in front of Sanji too, yknow?
Like, how do I say this, all the crewmates are equal- Usopp and Zoro are equals- but with Sanji it feels like more... comradery? Zoro's a rock in a terrible storm- even rocks tend to get weathered and chipped and worn down, but they overall stay strong and steady. He has trouble being vulnerable and there are times when the burden he's placed on himself to keep the crew safe is crushing his chest. Usopp would help with that and be very understanding, but the point I'm trying to get with that is that those moments are few and far between. So I feel like Usopp, especially after Water 7, would take Zoro's lead on something like that, and keep most of his worries to himself or only talk about them sparingly unless they're really bad and/or he can't hide them.
Sanji is like a tree in a storm; he can be strong, yes, but it feels like he bends and sways with the storm, and has more obvious breaking points. He can relate more to Usopp's struggles rather than resorting to blunt honesty that might border on callous like Zoro. And while, with Zosopp, I tend to think of scenarios with Zoro being blunt like that as a good thing- because sometimes when you're spiraling, it's nice to have someone say exactly what's great about you and shoot down all your worries with straight facts that you can't argue with- I can also see this as being a bad thing. Anxiety can really twist up your brain sometimes, you know? And despite the words, the tone could still mess someone up if they're already feeling like a burden on others in some way.
With Sanuso it's a lot more understanding and thoughtful words. It's distractions and comfort food and patience- the kind reserved for Usopp- until Usopp talks about whatever's troubling him. Compared to Zosopp, it doesn't take as long for Usopp to open up, since he's done the same thing to Sanji at times and it's more familiar to him to talk and commiserate with Sanji about his worries and doubts and such. However, there are times stuff like this has absolutely no effect and Sanji will end up at a loss, no idea what to do or how to help over the course of several days with Usopp being quiet and keeping his distance, and he'll end up working himself up about it which will only serve to make Usopp feel worse and. yeah. bit of a vicious cycle with them.
So it's like. Usopp can be weak with both of them, but since I see Sanji as the type of guy who'd be more open with his worries (at least compared to Zoro), there's less of a need to 'perform' and be his best self around him. He's comfortable around Zoro, yes, but he is constantly wanting to show that he won't be a problem to him. On the other hand, while he's more open with Sanji, and Sanji with him, they tend to relate a bit too much with each other and they both have issues with causing trouble for others and being 'deserving of love' so failed attempts at consoling one hurts the other and creates an unpleasant cycle of misery and avoidance before some other crewmate (Zoro) tells them to quit being stupid and just fucking talk to each other.
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I’ve come to realize that a hard truth I need to accept is that, if I had watched Avatar The Last Airbender 5 years before I did, I would have likely been a Kataang shipper.
Because I was in relationships where I gave 110% of myself to people and never expected anything close back. They wanted to go clubbing and drinking and I would go because I knew that part of that is trying to enjoy the things they would do, but then I would never ask them to do a board game night. I had been told it was boring and never expected them to do the same for me.
I had no concept of boundaries and it created an unequal dynamic in my relationships. I was so lucky that one of my friends ended our friendship because of that dynamic and told me that the unbalance was the reason why
Then I spent years learning to understand how to have boundaries with people and save some energy for myself and grew from it. So, when I watched Atla, I saw the healthier dynamic of Zutara and grabbed onto that. But I know, I would have shipped Kataang at one point because of my twisted perception of how much a woman has to sacrifice in her relationships and how she doesn’t expect the same back.
I’m so glad I went through that self improvement before I watched Avatar, because, if I was already invested in Kataang, I would have felt pain over realizing that one of my favourite ships reflects everything I hate and worked so hard to fix.
I’m so glad I found Zutara and the wonderful community of fans. I know my younger self needs this.
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