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thedeviltohisangel · 1 month

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All The Things I Did (Interlude): My Little Loves

a/n: Mother's Day, 1950. a super long, fluffy fic about Mother's Day! there is also quite a bit of angst as this takes place about one month before John would ship off to fight in the Korean War. I really hope you all enjoy this little bit of a deeper look at the twins/Lillian's personalities and Cass/John as parents and the absolute chaos that their house always is but they fucking love it because they fucking love each other. chat soon my lovies xoxo

The gentle tickles of John’s lips pressing to her back caused a smile to spread across her face. She kept her eyes closed as he kissed every inch of her skin that was exposed by the dip in the back of her nightgown.

“I know you’re awake, baby. Can see the goosebumps when I kiss you.”

“Keep going. I didn’t tell you to stop.” He smiled against her shoulder and reached for the hand resting against her rounded belly and twisting their fingers together. “Waking me up like this is exactly how we came to celebrate this day three years ago.”

“Happy Mother’s Day, my love. Last one as a mama of three, huh?” Cass hummed and wiggled her back further into his chest. He kissed behind her ear and buried his nose in her hair, relishing in the simple feeling of her in his arms. It would never get old for him. The quiet moments between them and their growing family were his favorite. There was no moniker he loved more than husband and father.

“If you had it your way I would always be pregnant.”

“Can’t argue that. I love filling you up with my babies.” As if to illustrate his point, he found the hem of her silkwear at the top of her thighs and lifted it to expose her belly to him fully. She was two months along with the next addition to their family. They were both already so eager to have a little baby again. “And how can you blame me? We make the prettiest little ones.”

“I have to agree. How do you make it so they all have your eyes?” She rolled over to face him and look at the baby blues in question.

“I don’t do it on purpose. Just a side effect of my-” There was a gentle knock on the door. “My bets on Penny,” he whispered.

“Fine. I’ll take Lilly.”

“Mommy? I come in?” It was Gale. They were both wrong.

“Yes, my little dove.” Knocking on the door to Mommy and Daddy’s room was one of the most critical things they had taught the twins. It had only taken one time for them to walk in on a moment their innocent eyes should never be exposed to for John to use his stern dad voice. The tone was so rarely used that their toddler ears had listened very closely and had obeyed ever since.

“Happy Mama Day!” He came scurrying into their room, his blanket trailing behind him, and Cass caught him in her arms as he jumped onto the bed.

“Careful, buddy,” John exclaimed as his wife grunted and fell against the pillow with the impact of her son.

“Sorry!” A few days ago, John had reminded the kids that the day where they celebrate their mother was coming up. Gale had been particularly excited, giving John a stack of drawings that he wanted to gift her and asking if they could have pancakes for breakfast because they were her favorite.

“Did you sleep well?” she asked as her hand stroked through his curls. He nodded from where his head was tucked under her chin.

“Hungry,” he offered simply. All of a sudden, John had two sets of eyes on him. “Daddy, we have cakes?”

“We did say that was mommy’s favorite.” He stroked the pillow soft cheek of his son and Cass smiled as she recognized the look in his eyes. One of pure adoration. One that he only ever looked upon her and their children with. “Go get your sisters so they can help.”

“Okay. Love you mama. Love you papa.” Gale reached for his dad first, kissing John’s puckered lips, before he tightened his little arms around Cass’ neck and accepted her request for a kiss as well. He shimmied out of the bed and was off in a scamper down the hall.

“When are we going to tell them?” she whispered with sadness as she watched her son. As she felt her husband’s hand tuck her hair behind her ear.

“I want today to be one of happiness. For you and for them.” He thinks the twins would be able to understand he was leaving for a while. That they would be able to feel the ache in their chest at not seeing their father for months. Maybe longer. Lillian had just turned two. Her grasp of the world around was still taking shape. But there were medical appointments and chauvinistic doctors.

John knew his wife was strong enough, their love for each other was more than strong enough, to survive his deployment to Korea. He just didn’t know how he was going to say goodbye to her or the little one growing inside of her. He was at his strongest in the presence of his family.

“I want every day to be happy for us. But especially for them.” Cass had promised her children they would never not be with their family. That nothing would ever separate them and that is exactly what their mother and father had fought for. And now it was all unraveling. “Look at my first baby coming to see me because he knows I’m sad.” Butter came padding into their room with a sock monkey in his mouth.

“No, he just knows I’m about to get out of bed and wants to take my spot.” Butter whined as if to ask if he could hurry up and do just that. They heard two sets of feet quickly patter down the stairs and smiled as their littlest one rubbed her eyes in their doorway. The stairs were a bit of a daunting task for her so she knew to ask for help. “Hi, ladybug.” John was quick to swing his legs onto the floor and pad over to his princess.

“Does it look like she was scratching at her ear again?” Cass welcomed Butter onto the bed with a scratch to the top of his head. At her last doctor’s appointment, they had poked and prodded as they tried to find a comfortable hearing aid for her little ear. It had left her with even more discomfort than she normally walked around with and it broke Cass’ soul she couldn’t fix it.

“It doesn’t look as red as it did yesterday.” John kissed the ear in question as he rested his daughter on his hip. She smiled and gripped the collar of his shirt tighter. “Should we go make sure Mommy has a breakfast that’s actually edible?” Cass melted as she watched him rub his nose against their daughter’s. Lillian was so attached to her parents, only ever at complete peace in their arms and seemingly feeling a little lost in navigating this loud and crazy world. The most rewarding gift she could have given her children was this man as their father.

“We can’t miss mass either, John!” she called as he disappeared towards the sounds of giggling children and bowls clanging together. “What are the chances they don’t make my entire kitchen look like a warzone?” she asked Butter as she turned to kiss his nose. He looked at her as if to say zero.

----

“Penny, I love your coloring so much and it is so beautiful, but can we keep it on the paper and off the table?” Cass normally put paper or an old tablecloth under their paper when they were coloring to avoid this very issue but the thought hadn’t crossed his mind until it was too late.

“Daddy, sing please!” Penelope asked with a smile as she looked up at John.

“Please!” Gale emphasized.

“Sing? What should we sing?” He was balancing Lily on his hip, her little hands occupied with the piece of fruit she was sucking on and refusing to eat, while grabbing pancake ingredients with one hand and monitoring the bacon crackling on the stovetop.

“Twinkle star,” she offered as she got down from her chair and moved to the counter by her dad.

“You want to start the song, lovey?” Penny wrapped her arms around John’s leg and hugged tightly as he struggled to measure the flour with two of his limbs occupied by cuddly babies.

“Twinkle twinkle star,” she began singing with her toddler lisp glossing over some of the consonants in the words.

“How I wonder what you are,” John continued as his son padded over to join in on use Dad as a jungle gym time, taking the empty leg for himself to match his twin. “Up above the world so high…” He looked down as the twins mumbled along to the song.

“Like a star in the sky,” they sang. He smiled at their new lyrics. Diamond was a hard word for them to pronounce. “Twinkle, twinkle, little star.”

“How I wonder what you are!” He bopped his finger against Lilly’s nose as the song came to a close. “Excellent job, my loves.”

“We help?” Gale asked as he was already moving his little stool so it was flush to the counter.

“Stir very carefully,” John said as he offered the wooden spoon to his son. He switched the hip Lilly was resting on and dropped a kiss to the top of Gale’s head, checking in on Penny who was happy to stay wrapped around his leg like a monkey. “Should we add some chocolate?”

“I love chocolate!” Penelope answered as she stood to try and peek at what her brother was doing.

“Penny, careful,” Gale cautioned as he furrowed his brow with concentration at the task his father had given him. John smiled at the interaction as he offered Penelope a little bowl of just chocolate chips.

“Don’t tell your mother,” his finger against his lips as if to seal in the secret.

“Thank you, Daddy,” she giggled as she scurried back to the table with her little treat. Lillian squeaked with delight as Butter came loping down the stairs to join in on the chaos and get closer to the smell of bacon. He sniffed at her feet as she laughed and reached to pet him.

“There you go, ladybug.” John set her down and she was off towards the living room with her best friend in tow in search for his favorite basket of toys. “How we looking, Gale?”

“All done!” John gave it a quick stir to make sure everything was incorporated and gave his son an impressed nod when it looked perfect.

“Mommy’s going to love these,” he whispered as the little one smiled.

“I love mommy.”

“She loves you, too,” John slid the pan of bacon to the back of the stove and let Gale drop a pad of butter into a new pan, “and you know I love you a lot, right?”

“This much?” Gale giggled as he spread his arms out wide.

“This much,” John answered with a smile as he extended his own arms. He brought his arms around his son’s little body and squeezed as tightly as he could, kissing the side of his head. There was a happy screech from the living room, distinctly the sound of Lillian, that had both Egan boys turning their heads. “You want to check on your sister?” The twins were just as protective over their little sister as their parents were. John and Cass had done their best to explain to them she was a little different than the little siblings their friends have or even than they were as babies. That she needed a little extra love and attention sometimes. Cass had let the thoughts eat her alive that she wouldn’t be able to love the twins as much as they deserved if she was so focused on Lillian. John had assured her that her heart was big enough for the task.

“I be back!” John watched with a smile as his son ran off into the living room and felt his chest swell at the little humans he and his wife had created and were raising to be kind, loving and giving. It was these exact moments that had spurned his heart back to life on the back of the carriage in the German forest or when his stomach was cavernous and his nose felt like it was going to fall off in Stalag. He was on this earth to be a husband to his wife and a father to his children.

“Daddy, more chocolate?” Penelope presented him an empty bowl with the evidence of her treat streaked across her cheeks and even a little on the pink of her pajamas.

“Little lamb, how did you get a tiny bowl of chocolate chips all over you like this?” he asked as he crouched down to her height.

“More, daddy? Please?”

“I’ll put some in your pancakes, how about that?”

“Smile face?” John had been known to try and turn his kids food into a smiley face whenever he had the chance. Most notably was Sunday morning pancakes with chocolate chips.

“Yes, baby, daddy’ll make your pancake into a smiley face.” Satisfied with his answer, she too ran off towards the room that held a fraction of her toys, her dog and her siblings. He thought about calling back for her so he could wipe her face and hide the evidence from his wife but he could already hear giggling and thought it best to leave it be.

Of course his three kids were an absolute handful, he doesn’t know how their nanny did this by herself everyday or how Cass managed at night before he got home, but he had never felt as fulfilled as he did in the moments with them. When he had gotten the orders to Korea, it was missing these moments that made his heart stop. Missing Gale and Penelope’s musicals they put on with their stuffed animals most nights. Missing guidance from doctors on how to help Lillian still hit milestones and reach her full potential in this life. Missing the sight of Cass’ smile and the way she mumbled in her sleep and how she fiddled with her wedding band when she was reading.

The United States Air Force was a bitch of a mistress.

----

John had every intention of bringing her breakfast in bed and snuggling as a family under the covers. But Gale had spilled the orange juice on his way up the stairs and Butter had stolen a strip of bacon from the plate while he was trying to clean up and Penny had already picked chocolate chips out of two pancakes before he realized it might have been too noble of an intention.

“What have we got going on down here?”

“Mommy!” It was a chorus of loving children as Cass appeared at the top of the stairs like an angel. She tiptoed around a defeated John and welcomed all three of them in for a hug as she reached them.

“Did my little loves help Daddy make breakfast?” The twins nodded and Lillian crawled into her lap, her ear dropping to her mother’s chest and smiling at the feeling of her heartbeat instantly. “Let’s go set the table so we can enjoy it.”

“I’ll meet you guys over there,” John sighed as he was picking up ripped pieces of pancake from the stairs.

Just like the goddess he always knew she was, Cass had the kids cleaning up coloring supplies, setting placemats and settling into their wooden booster seats all while they hummed Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star again. He watched silently as she wet a napkin and wiped Penelope’s giggling face and helped Gale cut his breakfast into smaller pieces and took extra care to make sure Lillian was comfortable with her miniature fork. “I’m sorry, baby, we were supposed to be waiting on you, not the other way around.”

“I’d rather dote on the little doves that made me a mother today.” She fell against him with ease, his lips against hers quickly. “Thank you for breakfast.”

“You haven’t even eaten it yet. It could be disgusting.”

“The lack of Egan jabbering coming from the table due to their eating of it leads me to believe it can’t be that bad.” Cass pressed onto her toes to kiss John the way she always did when they got to talking about their babies. Like she wanted another one promptly. It was how the current Egan in her belly got there.

“Since when is their jabbering from me? You’re the one who sweet talks people for a living.” He fisted her nightgown as he tried to restrain himself against the efforts her tongue was making with his. “And so successfully I might add, baby. So good at being my little Spook.”

“John Clarence Egan,” she squeezed his cheeks into his chin with one hand, “stop with that bedroom voice. We have no time-”

“Oh, Cass, I don’t need that much time,” he sniped back with that grin that normally made her knees fall open.

“Mommy, Daddy, sit!” Penelope pointed at the empty chairs they normally sat in, her face covered in even more chocolate than it was before.

“What do we say when we ask someone for something?”

“Please!” she answered. Cass kissed the top of her head and sat down across from her as John carried over two plates.

“Thank you, baby,” she kissed his arm as it reached in front of her.

“Mama!” Cass smiled as Lillian called for her attention and reached out her arms. It wasn’t very often she tried to speak and it made her heart soar whenever she did. Even more so when she used her voice to call for her parents.

“Yes, my sweet girl, I’m right here.” She brought her into her lap and swallowed back tears as John looked at them with a sad smile. “I’ll always be right here. I promise.” Cass buried her nose in Lillian's hair and breathed deeply as John held her hand on top of the table.

“Daddy, too?” Gale asked quietly as he paused his eating.

“I’m always, always, going to do everything I can to be with you.” He squeezed his wife’s hand tighter.

“Okay, Daddy!” Satisfied with the answer, and not understanding the true sentiment behind John’s words, Gale was focused on his fork and making it sound like a plane.

Cass did her best to smile the rest of breakfast. She snuck some bacon under the table for Butter. Bounced Lilly on her knee while she laughed. Felt her sides hurt with joy as John mimed eating the chocolate off of Penelope’s cheeks. It was exactly the kind of family she had always wanted to build. One of pure love and happiness. One that didn’t feel like it needed to be molded in some kind of high society pressure. One where her kids would always know she loved them. Where they would always know their parents loved each other.

“Alright, monkeys, let’s go upstairs so we can get changed for church.” The twins groaned like teenagers trapped in toddler bodies, Penelope dramatically going limp in John’s lap while Gale dropped his forehead to the table. “Hey, we said today was Mommy’s day right? So we agreed to do whatever Mommy wanted?”

“No church, Daddy.” To them it meant stockings and sitting quietly and there were the Carter kids that they despised seeing.

“For me?” Cass asked with a pout. It worked on their father. Maybe it would work on them. Penny looked to her dad.

“Do it for Mama,” he whispered like it was a secret just between them. Penelope relented with a nod and after a kiss to the top of her head from John was off his lap and holding her brother’s hand to scurry up the stairs.

“You want to help them while I clean all this up?” He was already standing from the table and gathering plates.

“I’m going to find a way to get us to Japan.” John froze and turned back to look at his wife, her focus on Lillian. “I’m not letting anything separate this family. Not even another war.” He set the plates in the sink and moved to crouch at her side, tucking her hair behind her ear and noticed the way she was shaking with the strength it took to not break down.

“Cass, baby, nothing ever will separate us. Even if I am physically far away, you know my heart is always with you five.”

“Last time…last time…” Lilly squeaked as her mother pressed her into her chest. Cass so rarely thought about Germany. Used all her compartmentalization skills to keep the years without John shoved away. Her time at the camp and their journey to make it out of there tucked away even further. She had always been adamant that misfortune only befell them when they were apart. When the distance allowed the malevolent spirits to find their way in.

“Hey, ladybug, come here.” John gently pried Cass’ hands from around their daughter and set her on the ground. “Butter!” The hound came trotting when he heard his name. He whined at the sight of Cass and the state she was in.

“Mama?” Lillian tilted her head and reached back for her mother with curiosity. Understanding why John had called him, Butter distracted her with a lick to her cheeks and she was giggling at the dog instantly. He gently nudged her until she was toddling out of the kitchen and he followed after her.

“Talk to me, Spook. Tell me what’s rattling around that gorgeous mind.” John cupped her cheek so he could look her in the eyes.

“I had the worst two years of my life because I wasn’t with you. I was hopeless and lifeless and had no purpose without you, John. I’m so afraid that when you leave, I’ll go right back to that place and I have those three I have to be brave for and this little one and oh, God, they’re going to come while you’re gone and I can’t-” Her head was tucked under his chin in an instant as the sobs racked through her body.

“Breathe, baby, breathe. I’ve got you.” Cass had gotten so good at tucking her emotions into a little box that she kept in a dark and tiny corner of her heart. It had been years since the memories inspired a breakdown such as this. “If you and the kids moving to Japan is going to fix that ache, then we’ll figure it out. We’ll find a way. Just like we always do.”

“I don’t want this to weigh on you. Just give me a minute and I’ll be fine.” She pushed off his chest and stood on shaky legs.

“Cass…” he reached for her but she didn’t grab his hand. He recognized the glazed look to her eyes. It was the same she had the previous few times the ghosts of the past had come to haunt her. It was Central Intelligence Agency Cassandra Egan taking the reins. Urging the version of her that felt too hard and too deeply to let go of the wheel and let the cold as stone version take control. “Cass, baby, don’t do this. Don’t run from your emotions. Don’t shut me out.”

“Mommy! I need help!” Penelope’s voice called from the top of the stairs.

“I’ll be right there, little love!” She turned to look at John who looked like he was going to stay exactly where he was until she crawled back in his lap and worked through this with him. “I’m not running and I’m not shutting you out. Now’s just not the right time.”

“When will be the right time?” He wasn’t going to let her say the things he wanted to hear and get away with no following through.

“Tonight? You, me and our pillows?” It was where their most important conversations seemed to be had. The place where they could relax and breathe and touch each other and whisper softly and kiss each other through whatever problems arose. They had yet to find a problem they couldn’t kiss their way through.

“I’ll be there.”

----

Gale and Penelope held their mother’s hand tightly as they walked out of the church, anxiously awaiting the lollipop their father normally handed to them once they hit the sidewalk if they had behaved. Penelope had done her best to not plug her ears at the sound of the organ and Gale had only stuck his tongue out at Jeffery Carter once and his mother hadn’t even noticed.

“Alright. Good little lambs lollipop time.” John dropped Lillian to her feet and squatted to be at the same height of his cheering children. “One for each of you.”

“Thank you, Daddy!” the twins said in unison.

“Give me a kiss.” They giggled as they each pressed their sticky lips to his cheeks.

“Oh, Cass! It’s so good to see you! Happy Mother’s Day!” Grace Carter. Self-proclaimed Queen of Great Falls, Virginia.

“Grace, it’s good to see you.” Cass greeted her politely. “Happy Mother’s Day yourself.” She was acutely aware of her twins staring daggers at the two Carter boys. She gathered them against her legs and smoothed her hand over their hair.

“Lieutenant Colonel Egan, you always look dashing in your Sunday best.” Cass gathered her breath before Grace became acquainted with her right hook.

“Thank you, ma’am. How are you doing, Adam?” he reached to shake his hand firmly before settling Lillian back on his hip and kissing his wife on the side of the head.

“I’m good, John, nice to see you.” For all the women that fawned over John Egan, much to the nearly violent chagrin of his wife, the husbands were never worried. No one in Great Falls or Charleston or Europe had ever seen him look at a woman that wasn’t his wife.

It incensed the local gossipers that he only ever seemed to be a devoted, attentive husband and father. He had been seen taking the twins to a park by himself, the horror. Seen picking them up from preschool instead of the nanny and while his wife was at work, the scandal. And the absolute most incredibly inappropriate display of Lieutenant Colonel John Egan handling a temper tantrum on the sidewalk of Walker Street with soft words and an understanding tone. Not a scream or a yell or a rough hand to avoid the prying eyes. Ghastly.

“Well, we best get going.” Cass smiled in the way that John knew meant she was moments from kicking someone’s ass, her hands pivoting the twins away and towards the car.

“Cass, will we be seeing you at the school’s bake sale Wednesday afternoon?”

“No, Grace. I’ll be at work.” That was another thing the local gossips loved to make a topic of conversation. The fact that Mrs. Cassandra Egan worked. That she wasn’t at every bake sale or auction but somehow always managed when it was a recital or art show. They were annoyed she had priorities and boundaries and enforced them and had a partner who seemed to do everything with her in perfect tandem. They never worked against each other, always rowing in the same direction.

“Such a shame you always have to work. Especially in your condition. You really should be resting.” John felt the air turn cold and tightened his grip around his daughter, his other arm wrapping around his wife’s waist and resting on top of their precious bump.

“And what condition might that be? The blessing of another child?” He knew where her mind was going. The acrid comments from doctors that somehow Cass was to blame for Lillian’s deafness. That she hadn’t taken enough care of herself during her pregnancy or rode her horse one too many times or that having twins had ruined her birth canal and damaged their daughter during birth. “I could only hope to be in this condition more often than not, Grace. I mean, you said it yourself. My husband looks so dashing in his Sunday best.”

----

A long afternoon of lollipops and the sprinkler in the backyard and babies falling asleep around the outdoor fire with chocolate on their cheeks, turned into a slow night of baths and bedtime stories and lullabies as Cass tucked the blanket around Gale’s tiny frame.

“Mommy?” he asked groggily as she was just about to close the door.

“Yes, little love?” Cass padded back to his bedside and gently knelt down to look at his precious face, cheek squished against his pillow and stuffed animal tucked under his chin.

“I love you.”

“I love you so much, my baby. So very, very much.” She stroked his cheek gently and kissed his forehead.

“Stay together forever,” he mumbled as his eyes grew heavy and he drifted into dream land. Cass held her breath as she watched peace settle over him. Peace that their family would remain intact and together. Forever.

“I’ll do everything in my power, baby, I promise.” She gently pushed his curls off his forehead and pressed a kiss to the skin there, sealing in her promise.

Cass closed the door as gently as she could and rested her own forehead against the wood to steady her breathing for a moment. For someone who prided themselves in keeping their emotions at bay, she was having a hard time breathing against the waves crashing against her. She knew she was stronger than this. Knew that her relationship with her husband and his bond with their kids was capable of withstanding any test that was thrown at them. The point was that Cass thought she had passed enough tests for the universe to give her a break. That she had earned a modicum of normalcy in waking up next to her husband every morning and both of them raising their babies together every day. What more did they want from her in order to give her that? Cass wasn’t sure she had much left to give them.

“Gale fall asleep before you even made it out the door?” John asked as he was arranging the pillows the way he knew his wife liked. “I didn’t even have to read to little ladybug, she practically fell asleep before I even got her pajamas on her.”

“For all the sugar he consumed today, yes, he fell right asleep. Penny is probably still awake making flashlight puppets.” Ever since John had used the flashlight and his hand to act out a scene from her favorite bedtime story, Penelope had been working to perfect her craft. More than once she had been caught by her parents in the middle of the night.

“Just the fact that we created humans amazes me but the fact that they have imaginations and dreams and personalities…learning who they are is never going to get old to me,” John mused. He walked around the bed and tried to bring Cass into his arms but she was already crawling onto the bed and sliding herself under the blankets. “You’re not going to let me hold you, baby?” He looked dejected as he stood there with his arms open like he was still expecting her to fall into them.

“I need that big brain of yours to help me work through some problems, Lieutenant Colonel.” She patted his pillow next to her for emphasis. He smiled wickedly and leaned down to kiss her, crawling over her body until she was horizontal across the bed. “I love when you look at me like that. Like you can read me and understand without me having to verbalize it to you.”

“Because I can, Spook,” he hummed. His lips dropped to hers once, twice, three times before his eyes were right back on hers. “You scare me when you shut down like you did earlier, Cass. You have to let yourself feel things in order to work through them.”

“I feel things when I’m with you. When I’m with our kids. It’s the feeling of not being with you and us all not being together that I want to avoid.” His finger drifted down her cheek and left a pleasant tingle in its wake.

“It’s not forever, baby. With those three and one on the way and Butter, you will be so busy you won’t even realize I’m gone.” She sat up and held John’s face between his hands.

“Please tell me you don’t think that’s true. There will always be a hole in my chest whenever you aren’t near.”

“I know. I’m just trying to find the right words to say to soothe your ache, Cass.” She leaned down and kiss him gently. Conveying all of her love, or as much as her human form could summon, letting herself melt under his gaze.

“There’s a position in Tokyo. Mary told me about it a couple of weeks ago and I’ve been holding back on asking for it because of our little ones. All four of them.” Her hands fell to her pregnant belly and John rested his cheek on top of them. “I’m scared to fly with them that long and I’m scared of my choices fucking with another one of our-”

“Don’t finish that sentence, Cass. You did nothing wrong when it comes to Lillian. You carried her and provided for her and were put here on this earth to be exactly the mother that you are to her.” John wasn’t ashamed at the level of anger he had shown the doctors that had tried to pin this on his wife. Wasn’t ashamed that he had almost throttled them through the exam room door. She smiled through her tears and combed her fingers through his curls.

“See? I need you.”

“We need each other.” She nodded in agreement.

“And we’ll always have each other. We’ll always make sure of it.”

As she kissed John in the warmth of the lamplight, the ache in her chest was soothed but not solved. She had a plan percolating in her mind on how to do so but fears that were acting as barriers towards diving in. It was uncharted water for her. Unsure of her choices and calculating the ripple of implications they would have on her children instead of just herself or an operation. It was the first time there may be a conflict between her desires as a wife and her desires as a mother. Ultimately, she would be the only one able to reconcile them.

But there were a few things she would always know for certain. Firstly, that John Egan loved her and she loved him. Second, that she loved every inch of all of her children and always would, for all time. Third, that she had fought tooth and nail for the life that she currently had and nothing would ever be worth losing it for.

Lastly, Cassandra Ann Egan knew that she deserved happiness. And fulfillment. And peace. She had fought a war to find the stable ground she was sitting on and supposed she would fight another one to maintain it. To protect it. To preserve her little corner of the world that darkness was not allowed to touch.

They’d have to get through her first. And she wasn’t going to go down without a fight.

#masters of the air #john egan fanfiction #masters of the air fanfiction #mota #john egan x oc #john egan #john egan x reader #cass and bucky #callum turner #masters of the air fanfic #john egan fanfic #mota fanfic #callum turner fanfiction #callum turner fanfic

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chouxsardine · 6 months

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Permission to Fall -- Jake Kiszka x reader

Summary: "Don't be afraid of falling, because he will catch you everytime" --Where things became too much at your company's Christmas party and Jake comes to the rescue as the most thoughtful boyfriend that he is.

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x reader

Word Count: 3211

Warnings: descriptions of a panic attack, feet (nothing gross or super detailed), a drop of superstition (let me know if I've missed any)

Genre: Fluff, hurt/comfort

Author's note: This is originally an idea inspired by @jakesguitarsolo and written for her. I hope you feel better now, dear. One idea spins into me pulling an all nighter...And here it is. This also goes to whoever feels stressed around this time of the year. Yes, things are tough, but you are stronger. I am so proud of you. If you want to talk, feel free to send me an ask or message. This is my first gvf fic and my first time writing anything for threes years. I really enjoyed writing it. I hope you enjoy reading it too.

🎧: I am listening to I Need You Most of All by Stephen Sanchez while writing this (you can tell the title is taken from the lyrics)

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Suddenly everything is too much.

But you know damn well that it doesn’t just happen “suddenly”. In fact, shit has been building up for days, or even weeks. You don’t know if it’s the end-of-year frenzy getting into everyone’s head, Mercury is in retrograde, or the depleted Vitamin D levels due to shortened daylight, you’ve had it particularly rough recently, from small inconveniences like your favourite snack being out of stock at the local grocery store for three consecutive weeks to mishaps like you taking the blame for your impotent coworker. You are exhausted, to say the least; you couldn’t wait for the holidays. Not entirely for its cheer, but for the few precious days off. You just need a break from everything.

Now you are stuck in your company’s holiday party. The annual event that you dreaded the most. It involves too many fake smiles, false-hearted small talk, and tooth-rotting-sweet cupcakes that clearly have too much food colouring. All the mental preparing goes south as you stand in the room, the stabbing pain from your high-heels growing more and more unbearable by the second. Too many people.

“Just another thirty minutes, you can do it. Just another thirty minutes”. You hopelessly glance at the clock on the wall, flashbacking to your childhood self squirming in the seats waiting for math class to end.

But of course, something has to make matters worse. The real straw that breaks the camel’s back is your clumsy coworker accidentally bumping into you and spilling her drink on your shoes.

“Oh my god, I am so so sorry, y/n!” She hastily apologizes in a high-pitched squeal. A few people turn their heads toward your direction.

“No, no, it’s okay, don’t worry about it.” Embarrassment. Embarrassment. Panic. Trouble. You try to wave her off. The shoes aren’t even your top concerns right now; you just want her to stop talking and stop attracting more unwanted attention.

“Really? Oh I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to! It’s just—”

“Please.” You take the handful of tissues from her, look her in the eyes, almost pleading, “It’s fine. Please excuse me, I’ll just go to the washroom real quick.”

Once the washroom door is closed behind you, you feel like collapsing right there on the floor. You wobble your way to the sink, arms propped up on the cold marble surface. You don’t dare to look at yourself in the mirror. Your ears are buzzing and the twisted feeling in your lungs tightens. As if a cold hand is wringing a wet towel inside your stomach, as if someone is shoving your head into cold water, you can't breath properly. You try to draw a breath, but end up sounding like a stranded whale. Before it develops into a full-blown panic attack that you can’t handle, you managed to muster the last bit of your sanity and dial that number with trembling fingers.

Jake picks up on the second ring.

“Hi, love. What’s up? ”

Upon hearing his voice, your tears break free. You are sobbing so hard that you have to bite down on your knuckles to keep the volume down. God forbid any busybody out there overhearing sobbing coming out of the washroom. “Ja—Jake—-”You struggled to form a coherent syllable.

“What’s wrong, y/n? Are you hurt?” His voice immediately grows sterner, stripped of of the previous languidness.

To talk under this state feels like squeezing words out of your veins. “Ca—can—you..come p—pick me up? Company—p-party.” You stutter through gritted teeth.

There is some shuffled noise over the phone, a loud bang sounding like he had bumped into something, a silent “fuck” under his breath, then his voice reaches your ears again: “Coming right now, baby, take a deep breath for me.”

You hear the faint beeping of car keys. More shuffled noise. More beeping. That means he has started the car, right? That means he will be here soon, right? You mind is racing and spinning and your lungs are still acting up, only allow silvers of oxygen into your body. You feel like you are watching the world through a distorted filter. A scarier thought jumps into your brain: you whiny puny thing, continue crying and your panic will affect Jake. The roads are slippery now, and it will be all your fault if he ends up in a car accident.

As if being slapped in the face, you manage to suck in a deep breath like a scuba diver resurfacing to the water: “Drive safe please, please Jake, please—I will wait for you.”

Jake makes a sound that is somewhat between a relieved laugh and a resigned sigh. He knows instantly what’s going on in your overthinking brain; you are worried about him. The thoughtfulness must be engraved in y/n’s brain, he thought, always, always putting others in front of herself, even when she’s having a panic attack. And Jake knows you are correct. It is only upon hearing your words that he realizes how hard he was gripping the steering wheel. He recomposes himself, relaxing his shoulder, “Don’t you worry about me, love. I will stay on the phone if that makes you feel better, yeah? Ain’t nothing gonna happen to me.”

“Knock on wood!” You hiss between sobbing, frantically searching for any wooden material around you. Damn it, why is everything so shiny and glassy?

Jake is amazed that he even lets out a short laugh under the circumstances. Yes, his heart aches hearing his girl being a mess over the phone, and he wishes he could grow wings and fly to her side. But meanwhile, he can't help but find you cute like this. He knocks three times on the mini wooden tissue box that he keeps in the middle console.

“Yes, knock on wood. You hear that, doll?”

“Hmm.” You would honestly believe anything now. Hearing Jake’s voice and imagining him coming to you is like brown noise for babies. Your lungs finally decide to have mercy on you, and you can now somehow draw in shallow breaths albeit the pain in your chest.

Jake is relieved as he sees the green lights shining at the last intersection before turning left onto the side road where your company is located. “I’m here. Can you come down by yourself, love? Or do you want me to get you?”

“I can come down.” You say. The thought of him finding you in a messy pile on the bathroom floor makes you wince, even though he’d probably seen worse.

“Okay baby, see you in a second.”

You don’t remember how you collected your coat and pushed your way through the crowded room without many people noticing. The next moment, your sensations are restored, and you find yourself already in Jake’s arms. He's waiting for you in the area between the automatic glass door and the revolving door outside, a place that is warm with air conditioning but won’t attract nosy people. He wraps you in a hug with his wool jacket. His comforting scent fills your nostrils, a powerful pacifier for your naughty lungs. For the first time this evening, you can finally breathe properly like a normal human being. The rush of fresh air makes you release a loud sob like a newborn baby. The relief of seeing him safely standing in front of you and the release of finally being free from the stressful and stuffy environment ushers more tears to stream down your face.

“Shhhh…..you’re okay now, y/n, safe now. I’m here.” His hand wraps protectively around the back of your head as he plants kisses into your hair. “Poor girl, let’s get to the car and go home.”

Home. Home sounds heavenly to your right now. You couldn’t think of a better combination of these four letters in the whole of human history.

On the way back, you curl into a ball on the passenger seat like a battered puppy. Jake holds your hand whenever he gets the chance, his strong calloused fingers gently massaging yours, tracing the patterns on your palm, his thumb brushing the back of your hand, providing warmth. No longer crying, your shoulders occasionally shudder with involuntary sobs that escape you. But other than that, you are falling into a trance. Your gaze concentrated on Jake’s perfect side profile through hooded eyes, watching in awe as the passing streetlights formed patterns of shadow on his graceful nose and cheeks; your mind numb without a single thought.

It is only when Jake wakes you up that you realize you have fallen asleep. The car is already parked in the garage, the familiar and comforting damp smell seeping in.

“We are home now, sleepyhead.” Jake smiles at you, tapping on your wrist to signal you to wait as he gets out of the car and opens your side of the door. Just as you were about to step off, Jake reaches to cradle you by the shoulders and knees, carrying you bridle-style into the house. You hide your face shyly in the crook of his neck, secretly grateful because your feet are indeed sore in those heels.

Jake puts you down by the shoe rack, motioning you to put your hands on his shoulders to steady yourself as he squats down in front you, holding your ankles and taking off your shoes. If he did see the stains, he didn’t ask any questions, only cooed when he saw the blisters on your heels.

“Let’s go upstairs and get your makeup off, then we’ll cuddle and go to bed, yeah?” Jake stands up, hanging up your coat before cupping your cheeks and placing a kiss on your forehead.

You never hated makeup more than now, regretting to put it on in the first place, now that it has become the annoying barrier lying in your way to bedtime. But Jake says “let’s,” that means he’s going to do it together with you, right?

“Jake?” You whine bashfully.

“Yes, love?”

You tilt up your chin and close your eyes, “One more kissy, please?”

Jake swears he feels a part of his heart melt right there. Who is he to deny you?

“Of course, as many as my princess would like.”

Stepping into the bathroom, Jake sits you on the closed toilet seat. He opens the drawer, grabs your makeup remover and some cotton pads. He applies some liquid onto the wipes and lifts up your chin.

“Close your eyes for me, love.” The cool liquid on your eyelids makes your eyebrows twitch, causing Jake to chuckle, “I know, I know. Just a little longer.”

You sit quietly, mesmerized and hypnotized under his touch. His movements are almost rhythmic. Is this how cats feel when their owners scratches behind their ears? You fear that if you make a sound, you will actually let out a purr.

Jake continues until most of your makeup is gone. “Hold out your hands,” you hear him say and complied. Two dollops of foamy liquid landed in the centre of your palm, and you opened your eyes to recognize they are your face wash. Jake tugs on your wrist, leading you to stand in front of the sink.

“Can you wash your pretty face now, darling? Wash up, and I’ll be back in a minute.”

You nodded, feeling lighter and more relaxed now without your makeup and even more content when you turn on the tap and find out that Jake has already tuned it to a lukewarm temperature for you.

When Jake returned, he was calling you from the bedroom. You have already brushed your teeth and let down your hair.

You walked into the bedroom and are welcomed by the scent of bergamot and sandalwood from your favourite candle glowing on the night stand. Jake was pulling an old T-shirt out from the closet. It was the vintage Joan Jett and The Blackhearts shirt, the patterns half faded, and materials worn-out soft. You saw him laying out one of his boxers for you too. He knows you always prefer them to your own underwear as pyjamas.

“Come sit, angel.” He patted the bench at the foot of the bed, him sitting across from it on a small stool.

It is only when you walked close that you saw the wooden foot spa basin, with clouds of steam rising from it. As you sat down, he gently took your ankle and balanced your feet on the edge of the basin, so that the hot water is steaming your sole.

“It’s still a bit hot.” He looks up to you. “I put Epsom salt and eucalyptus oil in it.”

“Where did you get this?” You feel like the heat from the bottom of the feet is slowly being absorbed into your veins and rising up to your cheeks. You wiggle your toes nervously.

Jake lets out a giggle, “Well, mum suggested once to Josh about the foot spa thing, said it helps with stress and tense muscles. You know, with him running barefoot on stage and all.” He reaches down to sprinkle some water onto your feet, letting you adjust to the temperature. “But Josh got the fancy electric ones. I thought this is better. More authentic, don’t you think?”

“Uh-hmm.”

“Your nails are all chipped,” Jake looks down, “maybe tomorrow we can repaint them? I saw you bought a new colour the other day.”

Tender. So tender. From his tone to his caramel brown eyes. The light from the lamp illuminates the left side of his face, giving it a solemn, smooth glow like a wax statue. Your heart swells; love makes it rise like Soufflé in the oven. The soft surface rises up until it touches your ribcage, threatening to spill those tears again.

“Thank you, Jake.” You dare not raise your voice, fearing that it will break, “I just got a bit overwhelmed at the party, is all.”

Jake eases your feet slowly into the water now that it’s the perfect temperature. The slight sling of your blisters is soon overwhelmed by the all-encompassing warmth that rises all the way to your ankle.

After a few heart beats, he speaks again. “You’ll always have me, y/n. You are allowed to fall, to break. I will be here to catch you, to piece you together. Whatever you need.”

Finally you were snuggled together in bed. You, a human koala, cling to Jake with your face pressed against his chest. His arm snakes around your shoulder, fingers mindlessly tracing your collarbone, strumming some unknown patterns. His heartbeat thumping in your ear, the perfect lullaby. The steady rise and fall of his chest is like waves, rocking you into a sweet slumber. Your eyelids feel heavy like velvet drapes. There’s still a stubborn voice in your brain keeping you from falling asleep. There’s still one more thing you need to do, even though you understood each other perfectly.

“Jake?” Your voice low like a murmur. Jake almost didn’t hear you at first.

“What is it, babe?”

“I love you.” Those words come out as a slur, and like a magic spell, you fall into the deep embrace of sleep as soon as the last syllable leaves your lips. Now clear of any stress and worries in the arms of your lover, the strained string in you brain that has been holding on for dear life the whole evening finally snaps. You’re out like a light.

“I love you back, y/n, through and through.” He whispers into your dream.

You woke up to an empty bed, the sheet on his side still has the human-shaped imprint. Jake is a night owl; it is pretty common that he just gets up in the middle of the night and ends up doing some random things around the house. Most often it’s him strumming the guitar and experimenting with his ideas for new tunes in the home studio downstairs. But you have also caught him fixing chipped paint on the walls, repotting the succulents in the garage, and pouring broth into the crockpot with chicken thighs and smoked ham hock (“so we could have warm chicken chili in the morning!”; to be honest, it’s indeed delicious; you had two bowls and had to skip lunch that day). Just to name a few, so the possibilities are endless.

You get out of bed, creep cross the corridor and tiptoe your way down the stairs. The lights at the doorway are on; you thought Jake forgot to turn them off. However, as you approach, you see Jake squatting down next to the shoe rack, his back towards you, and a brush and some spray bottles laying nearby.

You move closer and see him holding the clothes steamer near your wine-stained shoes. The heels you wore have a suede tip in the front, and unfortunately, that’s where the wine was mostly spilt on. After a few moments, Jake uses the wire brush to clean the surface. He stops from time to time, holding it further to inspect the result.

You waited until he stops again to make some sounds, announcing your presence. Jake immediately turns around. His eyes softens upon seeing you.

“What are you doing up?”

You go to squat down next to him, kissing his temple before resting your head on his shoulder.

“You just bought these not so long ago, yeah? It’d be a shame to leave them stained.” Jake lets more steam soak into the fabric before brushing them again. “I’m almost done. I saw this trick online, and it looks pretty legit.” It’s only then that you noticed his phone on the side, the screen showing the replies from some Reddit post.

“Thank you, baby.” You rub your cheeks slightly on his T-shirt; the feeling of warm pastry once again fills your heart.

“No worries, doll. I think it’s good for now. Let’s leave them here and check in the morning.” Jake starts putting away his tools before pulling you up and wrapping his arm around your waist, leading you back upstairs.

On your way, something familiar catches your eye. You must’ve missed it earlier.

“Wait, where did you get that?” You stop, pointing at what happens to be a whole case of your favourite snack lying on the kitchen counter.

“Oh, I saw the stores are out of them, so I ordered them online. They just arrived today.” Jake scratches his head, his tone tainted with slight disappointment.“I thought they’d be a nice surprise as stocking stuffers, but…”

You stopped him mid-sentence with a kiss.

“I love you.” This time you said it clear against his lips.

“Oh doll, I love you back,” he smiles, showing the cutest wrinkle on his nose. His hands brush your shoulder as you resume your steps upstairs. “Let’s get a few more hours of sleep now. And when you wake up, you will wake up to some yummy pancakes and a pair of stain-free shoes, huh? How does that sound?”

Oh Lord, that sounds heavenly. That sounds just like home.

“I’d like that, Jake. I’d like that very, very much.”

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Thank you for reading :) any comments and feedbacks are greatly welcomed and deeply appreciated

(The stain-removing tips comes from malccy72 on reddit :D

If you also feel like reading a smutty (but also fluffy?) piece🤭: Mariner's Complex || Love is a four-legged word || The Lucky Ones

or some Christmas fluff: Ticked (all my boxes)

#jake kiskza x reader #greta van fleet fan fiction #greta van fleet fluff #jake kiszka fanfic #jake kiszka fluff #jake kiszka #jake kiszka fic

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kiwiraccoon · 8 months

Text

One Last Dance

Chan x reader

Summary: he meets you in your dreams to dance with you one last time before he moves on to wait on the other side for you.

Notes: paranormal, sad topic, grief, soft and fluffy moment, honestly just super cute but also sad.

Word Count: 2205

“Are you sure you’ll be okay tonight?” Felix asks, standing in the doorway of our, my home. Concern shows on his face that screams he will stay if I show any sign of not being okay alone.

I give him a small smile of reassurance, “yes chickie, I will be just fine. I’ve lived alone before I can handle it.”

He steps closer to place a hand on my shoulder, “that was four years ago. It’s only been three days, are you sure?”

I chuckle and feel warmth in my heart at the care I can feel suffocating me in the most perfect of ways. “I know, but I promise. I need to heal on my own, I’ve spent the last three days healing with you all. I am so thankful for you guys, but I can handle it on my own too. I’ll call you if I can’t or need a hug, okay?”

Felix sighs before pulling my smaller body into a bone crushing hug that we both need even if we’ve shared a million over the last few days. He has been my rock this whole time, they all have. I wouldn’t be smiling if it weren’t for them. “I know he is so proud of you right now, I am too.”

His words cause tears to fill my eyes, the ache in my heart will probably be there for the rest of my life. That’s what happens when you lose the love of your life suddenly and unexpectedly. What I would do to make sure nothing happened to my Chan. While hugging Felix I can see my wedding ring sparkling in the light making a smile appear on my face as I remember our big day. Especially our dance to the song he wrote for me followed by the one I wrote for him.

We didn’t write our own vows, instead we wrote our own songs to listen to for the rest of our lives. I didn’t know I wouldn’t be able to live out my life with him. But I couldn’t be more grateful for the years I had him by my side.

“Seriously, call any of us if you need us. Or even drive over, you still have the keys right?” Felix says pulling away from the hug and pulling me out of my mind.

I lean over to the table by the entrance and grab my keys to dangle them in front of us, “right here, I never forget them.”

His smile brightens before he pulls me into another quick hug, “I love you.”

“I love you too, now get home safe, eat well, and call me if you need me too. Oh tell the others that too please.” I say while ushering him out of the house before we spend hours hugging and saying sweet words. Our friendship has always been the strongest out of all the members, we never knew why. Until now, we both were exactly what the other needed during the grieving process.

He laughs while walking out the door and quickly turning the walk backwards while saluting me. “Yes ma’am.” He calls back before he makes it to the car waiting for him and I close the door locking it.

I sigh at the silence I hear within the empty house, remembering that it belongs to only me now. I slowly make my way to the kitchen to make a comforting cup of hot chocolate to help me sleep. Chan used to make them for me every time I dealt with my insomnia, he would always make sure it wasn’t too hot before he gave it to me and even then still remind me that it might be hot. Sometimes he wouldn’t give it to me until it cooled off for a few minutes and spent that time showing me the music he worked on.

With the warm cup in my hands I make my way to our room, and set the cup down on my bedside table to cool down while I change into clean sleepwear. Instead of walking to my closet I go to his and grab my favorite hoodie of his to sleep in. His smell swarms around me and creates a blanket of peace that reminds me of the love he always gave me and kept giving me. He never thought he could love me enough, so he showed me in every way possible. I always did the same, we were the couple full of love and happiness. The guys always told us to get a room even though we were just cuddling on the couch in the studio.

Chan would always laugh with his cute little chuckle that made my heart flutter and pull me in closer saying “this is a room.” I would laugh and hide my face in his chest which he would then kiss my head and the boys would groan but secretly they loved seeing us both so happy.

Laying in our bed I move to the center to smell him enough but not take his place and sip on my hot chocolate while daydreaming about all of our happy moments. A small smile never left my face, he was and will always be my happiness even if he isn’t here anymore.

I set the empty mug on my bedside table and turn off the lights before snuggling into our blankets and his hoodie. I fall asleep to the smell of him and our memories floating through my brain.

“Baby come here please.” Chan’s voice calls out through the house causing me to turn away from my mirror. I catch a glimpse of the dress I’m in and how I look. The dress is his favorite one I ever wore, a dark red that reached the ground with a slit up the left to show my left leg. The dress hugged my waist, and only slightly tapered out but not too much. It flowed with the wind of my movements perfect but not too much that I had to worry the slit would show something it shouldn’t.

My hair was exactly how he always loved, brushed out curls that were airy enough for him to run his fingers through and not ruin the curls. He would always ask for me to do my hair like that saying “you look like a goddess all the time but I swear my eyes feel unworthy of seeing you like this.” I would just slightly hit his chest while laughing and calling him a dork but my dork.

“I’m coming love!” I yell back out to him before turning back to the mirror to make sure I look perfect for him. We would do this occasionally. Dress up our best to just dance around our house. It was a way to keep our love alive when he worked so much as an idol, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. My black heels click against the floors letting him know I’m on my way to him.

The music starts playing, our favorite songs to dance to but this one catches my attention. Ghost of You by 5 Seconds of Summer plays through the air rather than our speakers, letting me hear it perfectly no matter where I am. A smile takes over my face, one that shows slight sadness but full of love and adoration. When I walk into the room his eyes are on me, and only me.

While mine look over him entirely, looking at every detail of him and the attire he is wearing. My absolute favorite. Black slacks, black belt, black shoes, and a black button up. All black, but the tiny detail of his dark red nails catches my attention. I’m matching him with my heels and he’s matching me with his nails. His button up is left open over his chest, letting me see his skin and muscles. He knows I would have unbuttoned them while dancing either way, skin to skin is my love language.

His right hand extends towards me, while his face shows a grateful and sorrowful smile. Without thinking I grab his hand with my left and let him pull me into a dance in our bare living room. We would push our furniture out of the way when we had these nights to give us all the space we needed. Now the house was bare giving us room in every space of our house to dance around.

“Hi my baby.” Chan says pulling me close with an arm around my lower back to press my body against his while the other places my left hand on his back under his arm so he can place his hand in the side on my face and neck. He moves my head to let our eyes lock so they never break contact. My right hand holds onto his shoulder gripping him for dear life.

“Hi honey.” I smile back at him letting us both fall into the dance that we always do, one that we don’t even have to think about because we are so in sync.

He leans his forehead against mine while keeping our eyes connected, “I just wanted one last dance with you my love.” At his words a sigh breaks through my body allowing me to sink into the moment entirely. Everything else doesn’t matter besides this last moment together, even if it is just a dream. I lean into him more as we move around.

In each room we whisper our favorite memories together that took place there. In the kitchen my favorite memory was when I woke up after a long night of depression that he helped me through. I went into the kitchen and saw him cooking my favorite breakfast. I watched him from the doorway until he finally had enough of the distance and walked over to me only to tug me along and place me behind him so I could hug his back while he finished.

In the dining room his favorite memory was when I walked into the room wearing my onesie, the one that resembles my favorite animal. He couldn’t stop laughing but only thinking about how absolutely adorable I was. He took off to our room and left me standing there confused until he came back in a onesie of his own. That night we had dinner in our onesies while looking up fun facts about the animals.

In the living room we both agreed our dancing dates were our favorite memories until I remembered him freaking out and hiding behind me while we watched a scary movie. “I remember telling you ‘I’m supposed to be the one hiding behind you.’ And you just said ‘well not tonight baby hold me.’ You were so cute while scared, I still have that picture in my favorites album.”

“Next time you decide to watch a scary movie look at that picture and remember you were brave enough to hold your husband instead.” We laughed together before dancing our way into our bedroom.

We both sighed together remembering our memories here, the fun nights, the sad nights, the hard nights, and the happy nights. His favorite memory was the night I learned I couldn’t have children.

“How could that possibly be your favorite memory?” I asked pulling away only slight to give him all of my attention.

He chuckles at my response while moving his hand through my hair. “Because baby, we didn’t care. We still tried and still had hope. It showed me how strong you were, that nothing could hold you back. You would stop at nothing to get what you wanted. You consoled me that night even if the news was telling you your body wasn’t strong enough. I remember you saying ‘my body isn’t weak, it’s too strong. Our baby would just be too strong for this world and the world can’t handle that. But we can prove them wrong.’ And then you jumped my bones.” He laughs pulling me closer while I look at him with shock.

“I did not jump your bones.” I say in defense but also laughing along with him knowing I definitely did jump his bones. He just didn’t have to say it that way.

He pulls me into a hug so that our heads are buried into each other's shoulders. Letting us both embrace our final moments together. “If that’s what you want to believe baby.”

Before I knew it we had danced around the entire house multiple times and listened to many songs, even our own. Now he pulls away from me while You Are The Reason by Calum Scott plays. He stands in front of me holding my hands. “Never forget that I have loved you and always will love you with my entire heart. I’ll never be gone, I’ll always watch over you and make sure you stay happy. That’s a promise. If you ever miss me just know I’m around and I hear you, okay baby?”

We both cry together while he pulls me into one last hug. When he pulls away he gets down on his knees and kisses my stomach before I wake up in confusion.

#skz bang chan #bang chan imagines #bang chan x reader #bang chan #chan x reader #chan imagines #chan #skz chan fluff #skz chan #straykids #stray kids #stray kids imagines

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romeulusroy · 1 year

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Parting Pt. 1 (Roy!Sibling x Kendall Roy)

Character/s: Kendall, Logan, fake husband, fake baby lol

Word Count: 2,394

Requested: i have been obsessed with your baby!roy fics recently they are so so good! can you please write something to do with the subs & then being super protective over baby!roy (specifically kendall) please. if not it is all good, thank you so much 🫶🫶 - anon

Inspired By: Family Jewels by Marina

Tag: @locke-writes

A/N: In this fic you have a fake family, I just wanted to make that clear since I named a fake baby lol. It was getting too confusing without names lol. I love protective Kendall so much!!! I hope you like it my loves! Feedback is always appreciated 💜💜💜

Parting Pt. 2 (Roy!Sibling x Kendall Roy)

Succession Masterlist

He used to smell like laundry detergent. The sweet kind that reminded you of feeling clean, feeling safe. Even when he got his suits pressed, that scent lingered. It wasn’t his cologne or his soap, you learned over the years, it was just him. His body, his skin and hair. You liked when you came back with his scent, like it was choosing you, like you were worthy of it, of him. You thought it was a sign that somehow the universe was telling you that this man, this man who smelled of fresh sheets and warm sweaters, would offer you salvation. He would offer a home you had never had before, the kind that you feared you never would have, one you thought you were undeserving of. One of warmth and safety and stability. It sunk into your sheets, in his pillow. It lingers in every room he resides in, even if only for a moment. You used to love it. You used to follow it, searching the many rooms, trying to find him. You used to wish your whole house smelled like that, reflected that, so that anyone who stepped in would feel how you felt. No one seemed to notice though. Only you. Now you wonder if you made it all up, if you were under some kind of spell. Now you roll away from him in your bed, the scent too much, too strong. Suffocating. You take your pillow and a blanket and go to your son's room, choosing to sleep on his floor instead of your bed. You’re not sure when it started, when you’d shut the bedroom door and listen to his soft breathing, when you started slipping away. Sometime after his glass narrowly missed your head. Before you stopped speaking altogether. Somewhere in the middle, between all that, you decided that scent, the lavender, the cotton, somewhere in between then you decided you didn’t want to smell like that anymore.

You never wanted to smell it again.

The ride over feels excruciating. You sit in the back, beside your son, distracting him with toys, stuffed animals and cars. Almost three, he babbles to you, pointing out the other cars in the heavy traffic, the strangers on the sidewalk. He looks like you, thankfully. He has your eyes, your nose and hair. You hope he doesn’t share his temper, his paranoia, his moodiness. He kicks his feet, growing restless. Up front your husband bangs the steering wheel, equally irritable, eyeing you from the mirror, talking straight ahead. Don’t pull any shit, you hear me? Don’t be rude. You don’t say anything, just kiss his cheeks with his teddy bear, hearing that laugh that melts your heart. High, from the belly. He laughs until he can’t breathe. They’re my family, you want to correct, but you bite your tongue. One night, that’s all. All you have to do is get through one night. You move quickly, unbuckling yourself, then Liam. You hold him close, thanking the driver for parking. Your husband steps out, barking orders, before meeting you on the curb. He doesn’t initiate contact, not anymore. He doesn’t even try with Liam, you won’t let him. Not since that night. He hasn’t been drunk since, but you don’t care. He will not lay a hand on your baby. The doorman greets you warmly despite the cold radiating off him. All the way up you’re surrounded by silence. When you step out of the elevator you’re greeted with noise. Your brothers and sister, niece and nephew, in-laws, as well as the regular work associates, everyone’s here, everyone’s busy. It sounds like it did when you were growing up, so unlike your own quiet home. He greets Marcia with a hug and a kiss while you stray, peeking into the living room. Rava and the kids, Shiv, Tom, Rome. They all showed. Just seeing their faces makes you feel better, more like yourself than you’ve felt in weeks. You greet Marcia, asking how your father is. In one of his moods, she shrugs. She holds Liam, spinning him around. You linger, not wanting her to hand him off to him. You should know better, though. He leaves you for Frank and Karl, talking to them like there’s nothing wrong. He’d leave you both for dead if it meant getting an inch up the corporate ladder.

Your siblings all give you big hugs. You’re happy to see them. They stay the same, they always have. Shiv makes a remark about Marcia you can’t help but smile at. Connor is a tad bit oblivious, asking how your husband is doing as if he’s not in the room. Good, Con. He’s good. Rome is ready to drink the night away, pointing out how tired you look. Haven’t been sleeping well, you smile, unphased. Those hardwood floors aren’t exactly the most comfortable, you want to joke, but stop yourself. You toss and turn, checking on Liam every time you wake up, every time he stirs. A few times he crawled into your arms, dragging along his Spiderman blanket, his small body emitting so much heat, so much warmth. That is when you sleep the best. Only Kendall, your second biggest brother, notices something is off. You’re not looking at him, you can’t stand to, you weren’t even holding his hand or anything. You looked like strangers when you walked in. And you do look tired, exhausted, as if you hadn’t slept since he’d last seen you. He doesn’t say anything there, now, but he makes a mental note to. You talk with Rava, who wants to eat Liam up, and the kids, who are always a delight. You keep tabs on how many drinks your father pours your husband. Finally, you go over to Logan, who welcomes you with open arms. There you are, he greets, buttered up by your husband's ass-kissing. Here I am, you laugh. It takes everything out of you to be cheery, to be upbeat. You didn’t want to come, but you hadn’t gone to the last family dinner and he still believed in keeping up the facade. Look how big you are, William. You cringe. Named after your husband's father, you always hated the name, insisting he go by his nickname. Almost everyone in the family called him Liam, but your father was a traditionalist. No grandson of his would go by a nickname. Your son buries his face into your neck, suddenly shy. You’re not listening to anything he says, about work, Gojo, Matsson, Mencken. All the names start to sound the same. You’re too focused on what he has to say, what web of lies he’s stringing. Came down with the flu, poor thing. Luckily they didn’t get the baby sick. They’re feeling much better, though. We’re both so glad to be here. . . Tuning in and out of conversation until you can’t stand it any longer. You excuse yourself, needing air.

You were young when you got together, teenagers. He was the son of one of your fathers many associates. Deeming him worthy enough to date you, the pair set you up per his insistence. You thought he was nice, kind, smart, like them all. Like the rest. He wasn’t anything special, anyone special. But he liked you and that was enough for them. Over time, over the years, you found things to like and eventually love. His scent, but also how respectful he was to your father and mother, how he got along with your siblings, how driven he was. You’d noticed early on he was eager to anger, that everyone was against him. You thought, naively, he’d grow out of it, he’d mature. You should have known a man like that doesn’t change. Just look at your father. Still, you stayed with him. What else were you supposed to do? Your father believed he’d created the perfect match, that you would eventually marry. And you would. Just old enough to legally drink, he popped the question over champagne and an expensive ring. You couldn’t say no. Years you spent together. Breaking it off wasn’t an option. You’d get a fancy apartment with too many rooms and you’d have Liam, the catalyst, you think, to your many fights, to the rift. It was bound to happen eventually. You wanted a big family, like your own. He wanted one. Two, if the first was a girl. You have one. And he is the love of your life. You would do anything for him. He just wanted a legacy, an heir, to share a scotch with him on his eighteenth birthday. Before then, he preferred to be strangers. You couldn’t let that happen. You would die before it did, before he acted that way with him. You? You got yourself into this mess, you never disobeyed him, you never resisted, but Liam didn’t deserve that, he didn’t ask for it, he’d simply been born into it. You couldn’t let the cycle repeat. You just couldn’t.

Your hands hang over the banister, the balcony's edge. The noise of the traffic, the horns, people yelling, it wasn’t any more comforting than the noise inside, but at least it wasn’t him. You’d handed Liam off to Willa with clear, strict instructions. Do not let him near you, either of you. If he tries anything, find me. Willa nodded, cautious, her hand cradling his head. She’d protect him. She’d protect you, keeping whatever you say between you. You watched her and Connor play peek-a-boo and talk to him, pointing out family members. He smiled brightly, even giggling. He’s in good hands. You’re shivering, but you don’t move. It’s better out here. It feels safer out here. Your family, your father especially, love him. Logan sees himself in your husband, that is enough to want to run and never stop. After a few minutes, the door slides open. You jump, expecting something awful. Expecting meanness. What the fuck are you doing? Where’s Liam? You can’t act normal for a few hours, is it too fucking hard. Jesus y/n. . . Instead you feel something over your shoulders: a suit jacket. Kendall's. He holds out a glass to you, wine probably. You only take a sip, needing to be sober, alert. You need to be ready. He doesn’t say anything for a while, just stands beside you. And then: How come you’re not sleeping? His tone is genuine, dipped in worry. You thought you’d played it off well, but he had second thoughts. The bags under your eyes resemble bruises. Hollow. You’re not sure what to say, if you should lie or tell the truth. You wait a moment, wishing you’d just stayed inside. I, uh, I’ve been sleeping on Liam's floor. Before you can stop, your words come up, out, leaving you clutching the banister. I’m leaving him. I, I don’t know when, but soon. I should have done it a long time ago, but I was scared. You know how Dad loves him. It’s a deafening silence, your brother taking it all in. He lets out a sigh. In anger? In relief? You can’t tell. Is he hurting you? Is he hurting- No. You’re quick to say. Do you need a lawyer? The question comes out so earnestly, you almost laugh. Not mine, but, but Rava has a good one. A really good one. You nod. Yes, yes you do. Want me to kill him for you? Startled, you look up in his eyes, deep brown. They look so sad, so grown. Can you make it look like an accident? You smile, knowing you shouldn’t. Anything for you. You lean into him, wishing you could freeze time. So many things go unsaid. How much you appreciate him, how thankful you are that he picked up on something no one else had. He’s always been there for you, but you’ve felt isolated since your marriage. This is your family, not his. He could co-op them however he liked, you were Roy. You were, not him. You still are.

Kendalls hand never leaves your back as you walk in together. Willa looks at you, and you nod, when Kendall takes Liam, giving you a break. He sits beside you at dinner, him and Rava having a conversation with nothing but their eyes. In the end, she seems to understand. He puts a barrier between the two of you, one your husband starts to notice, starts to get irritated by. He tries to put his arm around you, but Kendall intervenes. Coming back from the bathroom, you watch your brother lean over your chair to his brother-in-law, where he says something you can’t hear, but can read, covering Liam’s ears. Go fuck yourself. As you sit, they resume like nothing happened. Your husband looks stunned but only for a moment. He never tries to touch you again, using all his attention at the opposing end of the table. You’re trying not to grin.

When it’s time to go, Kendall hugs you last, slipping a card into your jacket pocket. You don’t have to read it to know it’s the lawyer, one of the best in the business. He doesn’t want to let go, he can’t for a few seconds. He doesn’t want to let you go home with him. You’ve already called a driver, your husband unsteady on his feet, Liam asleep on your shoulder. It’ll be okay, you whisper, I'll be okay. He can’t say anything, nothing comes to mind, just begging, pleading, cursing. He wants you and your son to stay with him, Shiv, Con, even Rome. Anyone else, anywhere else, but home. He wants you safe, the both of you, far from that prick. He never liked him, but now he loathed him. You manage a smile, a shaky one, before letting go. Your husband leans on to you, forgetting the rules. You offer your big brother one last wave before the doors close. He doesn’t know it, and neither will you, but it’s the last time you see him for a long time, all of them. Did he do the right thing? Did he do enough? He resists the urge to pry the doors open, to call after you, a horrible feeling washing over him. Something terrible is going to happen, he fears, and he has no one to blame but himself. . .

#requested #kendall roy #kendall roy imagine #kendall roy x reader #succession #succession imagine #succession x reader #succession fic #kendall roy fic #writing

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honeyypotato · 1 year

Text

Restart

A Reiner Braun x gender neutral reader fic

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“This chat is twenty years overdue,

Let’s have a seat and tell me your news.

Something about you is different,

I feel at ease when you talk.

Each painful knot is untwisted,

You’ve matured more than I thought.

My destiny is knocking,

This is what I’ve been wanting.

When did our eyes get soft?

I wanna be here, wanna be yours so hard.”

▸ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ◂

Four years ago, before his betrayal, you’d been Reiner’s love. But now, after you both survived the rumbling, could you go back to how things were?

[Lyrics and title from the song “Restart” by Veela and Mod3no]

No warnings! Go crazy! Read to ur heart’s content friends!

Tags: lots of fluff, Reiner is soft, kinda spoilers if ur new to the show, post-canon AoT things, awkward ex-couple moments, happy ending

▸ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ◂

WC: 3210

AN:

I mean…I would take this man back in a heartbeat. He could step on me and I’D be the one to apologize…you get it.

I took a break from writing my usual super-long fics to bring you this one! I came across the song this is based off of the other day and…my adhd is eating it up, so I have been listening to it on repeat.

▸ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ◂▸ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ◂▸ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ◂

Once more, your gaze locked with golden eyes as you sat in the library. It was a lazy spring afternoon, one which you should’ve been enjoying. Instead, you were hiding indoors, attempting to distract yourself from your emotions once again. That is, until Reiner had walked in on the opposite side of the room.

You watched from over the top of your book as he exchanged a few words with Mikasa and Armin, who were doing some research that you didn’t have the heart to join in on. Then he turned around, and his eyes found you again, and for a moment you thought you could see him consider walking over. But after a heartbeat, he leaves you alone once more.

“You two can’t keep just staring at each other from across every room like this.”

You were shaken from your thoughts by a voice. It had been three months since you’d all returned from fighting Eren, and your relationship with Reiner was…a stalemate. Four years ago, before he’d left, you’d been his. From the moment you’d walked onto the training field as a cadet, he’d practically attached himself to you at the hip. You had never been sure of what the blond saw in you, but whatever it was caused his eyes to glow a little whenever he looked at you. Soon enough, that warmth had grown into full-blown love; your hands intertwining before missions, curling up a little too close when it was cold, sneaking kisses underneath the stars.

Your heart shattered into a million pieces when he left, but it was more because he was leaving you, not because he had revealed himself as your enemy at the time. You couldn’t care less if he was a titan shifter, or if he’d been keeping the entire rest of the world a secret. Each morning that you were forced to wake up alone took a little piece of your soul away from you. You were long past convincing yourself it would get better with time; you’d accepted you would feel like this forever.

You looked at the source of the voice, tearing your eyes away from the empty spot where Reiner had been standing.

“I don’t even know what I’d say to him, Jean,” you murmured as your friend sat down next to you.

“The way you look at each other says you both have a million things you want to say.”

“I wouldn’t know where to start. Besides, he’s better off not having me in his life to hold him back.”

“Now that’s just ridiculous,” Jean scoffed. “Neither of your lives are going anywhere as long as you keep up this weird…orbiting dance you’re doing.”

You raised an eyebrow at him. “Orbiting dance?”

“Yeah, you’re both too afraid to get too close to the other, even though that’s exactly what you want. So you both just keep your distance, circling around each other, hoping something will knock one of you off your path and into the other’s so you don’t have to do it yourself.”

“You learn that in therapy, or something?” You sighed, and replaced your bookmark back into the page. You wouldn’t get any more reading done.

Your remark earned a chuckle from Jean. “No, I learned it watching two people not bothering to hide their emotions at all.”

Dropping your head in mild embarrassment, you knew you’d never been good at keeping your emotions under wraps when it came to Reiner.

“Talk to him. Please,” Jean moves to stand up from his post beside you. “You’ll both feel better when you do.”

“I’ll try, Jean. But I can’t promise anything.”

Reiner knew you’d been spending your afternoons in the library, but as much as he was trying to give you all the space you needed, Historia had asked him to relay information to Mikasa and Armin. Of course they were doing their research in the library, and of course he couldn’t keep his eyes off you for two seconds when you were in the same room. It was obvious that you’d both changed; he could tell from the small conversations you’d had during the Rumbling. But hell, did he know that he still loved you. You’d grown from that rambunctious, sweet, and slightly awkward cadet into a true soldier and adult. You were level-headed and mature, a deep thinker, kind and gentle…He could tell you’d retained some of your youth, too, from the way you and Conny threw jokes at each other during meals.

But what did you think of him? He was the one who’d torn you to bits, left you alone on the island while he returned to the safety of his country. When he wasn’t with you as a Scout, he’d spent his time figuring out ways to break the news about himself to you gently, and ways that you’d be able to stay together while he completed his mission. It had all happened so fast, though, and by the time he had Eren in the palm of his hand it was too late to explain anything. Through the titan’s eyes, and through yours, he had seen the shattered pieces of your heart. That memory had resurfaced a hundred too many times while he was back in Marley, the way you’d looked at him. As badly as he wanted to pull you close now, to try and fix everything he did and put all the pieces of your heart back together, he continually convinced himself he’d just break your heart all over again. So, he kept his distance. But when the two of you were in the same room, you were so beautiful, so perfect to him, he was pulled toward you like a magnet.

You tried to talk to him, you really did. But you’d gotten one good look at Reiner after dinner and had turned on your heel, marching straight back to the solitude of your room. Now, you laid face down on your bed at three in the morning, cursing yourself for being cowardly yet again. This wouldn’t even be the first time you’d talked to him since he left, you’d exchanged words with him throughout the Rumbling. Hell, you fought side-by-side. But now that the fighting was over, everything was…different, and you couldn’t bring yourself to speak with him. There was just too much between the two of you.

Knowing it was going to be yet another sleepless night, you dragged yourself out of bed. Throwing on a pair of old sweatpants, it was time for yet another nighttime stroll around the building.

Despite the fact that you were exhausted, your–what had become nightly–walks were rather peaceful. The entire city was almost silent, and you could exist in your own mind and world for a bit. Pacing through the halls, you found yourself wishing for what you always did; that he was close.

Passing the library, you had the fleeting idea that you’d read a little more of your book, so you tugged the heavy door open. But when you settled down on one of the plush couches, book in hand, you couldn’t bring yourself to read a single word. Sitting in the silence, you stared out the window into the night sky, lost in thought.

A shifting of the couch seat next to you brings you back to the present. You had been so deep in thought you hadn’t heard the door open, but before you could conjure up a reason why you were sitting in the dark library at three in the morning, you saw a pair of eyes you hadn’t dared to be so close to in a long time.

Reiner watches fear dart behind your eyes, immediately regretting his decision to sit next to you. He hadn’t been able to sleep, as usual, so he decided maybe some fresh air would help. But when he saw you, he became so lost in the pain of the fact that you were probably doing the same as him, walking around to try and get through another sleepless night, that he forgot to glue his feet to their spot. Before he knew it he had planted himself firmly in the seat next to you, studying every inch of your face.

“Hi.” Your voice is barely a whisper, and after a heartbeat your eyes snap back to where your hands had curled tight around the book in your lap.

His face softens. “Hey.”

Your mind swirls in a panic, trying to find something–anything–to say.

“Um…What are you reading?” He asks, causing small cracks to appear in the ice that had formed between you. His voice is deep, warm, and familiar, and you feel at ease when he speaks.

“A fantasy novel.” Daring to meet his eyes once more, your heart beats picks up when you see the warm, almost smiling expression he wears.

“Didn’t know you were into those.”

“It’s a habit I picked up. From Sasha.”

“Ah.”

You went back to cursing yourself for making it awkward.

But now Reiner is fully smiling, gently, as he gazes out the window into the starry sky. “Remember when she used to tell those stories, during missions?”

“The ones where all the characters were named after different foods?”

“Heh. Yeah, those were something else.”

“She knew how to make long horseback rides a little shorter, didn’t she?” You chuckle as that odd mix of happiness and sadness washes through you once more. Silence washes over the library again.

“I’m sorry. For everything–”

“Reiner. Don’t.” Feeling your throat tighten, you look up at him, closing the book on your lap and placing it aside.

“I–”

For the first time in years, you hold his gaze. “You have nothing to apologize for.”

“I hurt you.” You can hear the pain in his voice. There are tears in his eyes, glistening in the moonlight.

“You were doing what you believed was right. You always have. I would have done the same.”

“What we believe is the right thing isn’t always the right thing.”

“You did what you could, with the information you were given. We all did. I could never hate you for what you did.”

“Then what do you hate me for?”

Your face twists slightly, shocked, and this time you’re the one with tears in your eyes.

“I-I mean, you have to hate me for something.” Reiner watches your expression.

But your face changes, and a soft smile takes over your lips as you gaze up at him. “Wouldn’t that be childish of me?”

At your smile, he relaxes into the couch slightly, leaning a little closer to you. “You’re allowed to hate people as an adult, silly.”

“Hate is born from not understanding. I understand why you chose to do what you did, so how could I possibly hate you?”

“I hate myself…for what I did.”

“The choices you were forced to make weren’t easy, Reiner.”

“They should’ve been.”

He pauses for a moment.

“How could I leave the person I love more than anything else in this world?”

You blink in surprise. Then, warmth floods through your veins. You lean into him, pressing against his arm and resting your head on his shoulder.

“Even if I had known what you were going through, I still would have let you go. It was life or death for you,” you murmur.

“I should have found a way to live. I would have. Shit, I’ve been stabbed and shot and bombed more times than I can count.”

“You fought in a war, Rei. It must’ve been awful.”

His hand slides into yours. “It was. But I’d fight a million more just to see you for one more day.”

“You don’t have to. And if you did, I’d be right there at your side.”

You feel him sigh, leaning his head against yours and pressing his lips against your forehead.

“Reiner…” That familiar warmth blooms in your chest, something you hadn’t felt in a long time.

“I missed you so much,” he whispers. “I wished you were there with me every day…but also I was glad you were somewhere safer.”

He missed you…You shift in your spot to look up at him, pressing a hand to his cheek. You’re no longer so afraid to look him in the eyes. “I missed you too. But I’m here with you now.”

“You are. And I’m here with you,” he echoes, as if he’s afraid it’s all a dream, and speaking it aloud would cement the two of you in reality.

And then he shifts, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into his lap, pressing his forehead against yours as your arms loop around his shoulders, tangling in the hair at the back of his head. His hands grip tightly at your waist before sliding around you completely, pulling you as close as humanly possible as your noses brush. For a heartbeat, you linger against each other, letting it settle into your minds that the other was here, until neither of you can hold yourselves back any longer, and you collapse into each other.

The familiarity of his lips against yours overwhelms you, memories of the night he first kissed you surfacing in your mind. You were both sitting on patrol, joking about something stupid, and he suddenly pulled you close. In this moment, time seems to loop back on itself, the two of you kissing in the same way you had all those years ago. Even though you’d both grown as people, he still felt the same…because the love you had for each other had never changed.

The kiss breaks when Reiner tries to somehow get you even closer, and you giggle at his effort before sliding off his lap and pulling him with you to lay down sideways on the couch. He’s nearly surrounding you completely as he lays half on top of you, crushing you slightly but you couldn’t care less. He peppers kisses across your nose and cheeks and down your neck, lingering a little longer on each one and relishing the way you laugh when the stubble on his chin tickles you.

The warmth of the moment overwhelms you, turning your laughter into soft sobs as you pull him close, burying your face in his chest.

“I love you, Reiner. It’s good to have you back.”

“Oh, baby. I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere, I promise,” he whispers against your skin. But you can feel the tears running down his cheeks too.

There’s a few moments of comfortable silence between you two, that couldn’t be more unlike the awkwardness of the past few months. Your fingertips trace over the contours of his face, occasionally wiping fallen tears off his cheeks, simply enjoying being so close. He tightens his arms around you, a rare soft smile appearing across his lips.

“You know, I got so scared when I saw you during Eren’s invasion, in Liberio,” he murmurs, brushing a stray lock of hair away from your face. “That place wasn’t safe for you at the time.”

“I wasn’t afraid for me. But when I saw the titans fighting, I was a little scared that you’d get hurt…” you trail off, getting lost in the way the moonlight reflected in his eyes. “What was life like, in Marley?”

He chuckles at your question, sinking into the couch next to you. “It had its moments…but overall, not great. I guess things like cars, photographs, and electricity were normal for me though. I probably grew up in a nicer environment than most people here.”

“Your mother did her best for you, I’m sure of it.”

“Heh, she definitely did something. I guess I get it from her.”

“What?”

“The drive to do absolutely anything for the people I love.”

“That’s one of my favorite things about you, actually.”

He raises an eyebrow at you. “Really? That’s what you like about me?” He was confused; that trait had caused the deaths of so many people. He’d always preferred not to think about it at all. But it was obvious that you didn’t see it in that way.

“Yeah, I think it’s sweet. It’s what’s kept you alive for so long.”

“No, that’s not it,” he sighs, “What kept me alive was you.”

“I wanted to live…so I could see you again too. I wanted it all to be over so we could be here, like this.”

The emotion behind his eyes is a mix of melancholy and nostalgia as he gazes at you. “How were things, after I…left?”

“Rough, at first. But eventually, we got rid of the rest of the titans, and took over the port. We met Yelena and her crew, and they brought us up to speed.”

“How nice of her,” he muses, causing you to snort out a laugh.

“I think we’re just about on par with Marley now, in terms of development.”

“Eh, it’s way nicer here. Besides, here is where you are.”

“Aw, I kinda wanted to live in Liberio for a bit…” you trail off, giving him a dramatic look that turns to laughter at his expression. “I’m kidding!”

“Heh, you better be,” he laughs, pulling you close once again.

You move your hand to rest it against his chest as his nose slides against yours, lips fitting together like you were made for each other. His tongue presses against yours slowly, drinking in every breath, every heartbeat…every shred of evidence that you were alive and okay and in his arms. This was everything both of you had wanted since you returned from fighting. Tilting your head, you try to get closer to him, wrapping a leg around his waist as his hands slide under your shirt and up your back. But after an especially deep kiss, he pulls away slightly, his lips ghosting over yours.

“You know, we should probably head to bed before someone wakes up early and finds us making out on the library couch.”

“Aww.” You sink into the couch a little more in protest.

He sits up halfway, still leaning over you. “I promise, my bed is comfier.”

Blushing at his words, you’re thankful it’s still dark in the library. You’d half expected him to send you back to bed in your respective rooms. Who were you kidding, though? This was the man who climbed through your window as a Scout so you could sleep in each others' arms. Hell, he’d seen you naked more times than you could count. But that was so long ago, everything felt new again.

Reiner leads you back to his room, your hand in his, and you can’t hide the smile growing on your face. Not an hour ago this was something you’d only wished would happen; but now your wish had come true. When he pulls you into his room, finally into privacy, you lose track of how many kisses he plants across your skin. And as you settle into his arms under the blankets, sleep washes over you faster than it had in years.

You wake up with your head resting against his chest, one of his hands tangled in your hair and the other around your waist, and only one thought in your mind: you were glad you talked to him.

▸ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ◂▸ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ◂▸ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ◂

#reiner fanfic #reiner #aot fanfiction #aot reiner #snk reiner #reiner braun #reiner x reader #reiner braun x reader #reiner braun x y/n #reiner braun x you #reiner fluff #reiner x y/n #reiner x you #heavy breathing #I love him so much #honey writes #attack on titan #aot x you #shingeki no kyojin

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webslingingslasher · 2 years

Note

21 AND 30!!!!!!

based off this prompt list

sorry for the late post, i forgot i had these in my inbox! I really liked this one!

“Why can’t you just be happy for me?”

You screamed the words with ferocity, frustration was dripping from each word.

Peter was your best friend, you supported him in everything he did, everything. Even going into fucking space, or finally asking MJ out, or just being there to hold him halfway through freshman year in college after they decided the distance wouldn’t work.

You loved Peter with everything in you and you loved everything he did. He had a way of lighting up every room he walked into, he knew how to break the tension each time and always spared someone at the expense of his own awkwardness.

No matter what he did he had you in his corner.

Why didn’t you have him there too?

It all started with Zach, some friend of a friend who took an interest in you. Nothing serious at first but then Peter noticed this guy was waiting around for you, and suddenly you had canceled one or two different plans for this guy, and next thing he knows all he can look at is the hickey he’s clocked in on your neck, right above your collarbone.

Peter’s been kind of a bitch since then.

Just snappy with responses, like when you apologize for canceling, again, he hits you with a ‘no surprise there, make sure you use protection or whatever.’ Or just rolls his eyes and changes subjects when you bring Zach up, which was upsetting because you listened for two years about him and MJ.

“And, Zach surprised me with a tea and sugar cookie after lab! I texted him before I went in that I was nervous and when I left he was waiting there with it and walked me to the bus stop. It was so cute, I even kissed his cheek and he got all blushy. Isn’t that just adorable?” The awe was thick in your voice, little clouds and stars ran around your forehead, how could you get so lucky?

“Yeah. Just super adorable. Anyways, did Jesse fuck up in lab today?” Peter brushed it off choosing to talk about your lab partner, he’s in the wrong major, you both think it. He’s always messing up in the most comedic ways.

You furrow your brows, he always does this.

“Uh, not really. But, Zach was telling me about how his roommate was asking about me, which is a good thing right? Cause that means he’s actually talking about me, and-”

“Ned was talking about how he and Betty are looking for an apartment together, I think he’s gonna propose before we graduate.”

“Do you not like Zach?” It’s getting tiring, you want to talk about this with your best friend.

“Why do you care if I like Zach?”

“Because, Peter! I want my best friend to like my boyfriend!”

Pause. Peter blinks one, two, three times.

“He’s your boyfriend?” It’s like he’s tasting the words in his mouth.

“Well, not yet I mean. But I think he might be, or he’s trying to be.” You shrug like it’s nothing but it’s something. He’s nice and lovely and down right cute.

“Then no.” Peter blinks at you again.

“No?”

“No. I don’t like him, I don’t care for him and I don’t want to meet him.” Peter is being extremely blunt.

“Okay…” You trail and look around, you don’t think there had ever been tension in a room with him like this and it was nearly suffocating.

“Can I ask why?” You give a false laugh, trying to ease what he put in the room.

“I don’t know. He’s always around you, and makes these weird jokes that only you understand. And you’re always dumping me to run after him, he sucks.” Peter reaches behind you to pull a string of hair off the side of your sweater.

You laugh dryly.

“He’s nice. And he cares about me, and I actually think you would both get along really nicely. He reminds me a lot of you, you both have this weird dorky thing but it’s innocent. He’s patient and he’s funny.”

“Yeah. Okay.” He hums and smiles.

It’s condescending.

“Why can’t you just be happy for me?”

Peter’s eyes go wide, he opens his mouth and closes it trying to find the words then sighs.

“I don’t know if I can bring myself to say it.”

“Try.” You huff.

“I didn’t ever think like this before but once he started to hang around I felt weird, and you’re always around him now. You cancel our plans for him and you walk around campus with him, and you have your own jokes with him that should be with me! And when I saw that hickey he gave you I freaked out inside, I never thought about it until I saw you with him.”

“Thought about what, Peter?”

He chews on his cheek, his bottom lip pulled and twisted.

“I’m sorry that you found out this way,”

Peter pauses and lets out a breath and looks at you in the eyes.

“But, I think I’m in love with you.”

#peter parker blurb #peter parker x reader #peter parker oneshot #peter parker angst #peter parker fluff #peter parker fic #peter parker #peter parker mcu #my writing

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mackenzielovee · 2 years

Text

parenthood part sixteen: dissension

a/n: hello ! happy sunday and a super special happy birthday to @imobsessedsblog ! i hope your day is amazing! please leave me some love if you can and enjoy <3

warnings: swearing, heartbreak, tears

ambivalence masterlist , parenthood masterlist

Two weeks.

It’s been two weeks since you heard from Topper or Sarah. Not for lack of trying, of course. The day Topper left your house after the beach day, he’d been gone exactly three hours before you got a text from him. Two simple words, but enough to shatter your heart in two.

It’s over.

You’d responded immediately — and sent him about a thousand texts since then — but hadn’t heard a thing back. You also texted Sarah, who didn’t respond either. Rafe reached out to both of them as well, but only got radio silence in return. He’d also reached out to Rose and Ward in hopes that they’d know where Sarah is, at least, but they don’t.

The days turning into weeks of silence from your best friend only make you sad. He’s been your rock for years; getting you through every single challenge and there to offer a hug and a kiss on the cheek at the end of it. Now, when he needs you, he runs off.

You still text him everyday, and Rafe watches you from across the room as you stare at the screen full of unanswered text messages. Without even being asked, Rafe takes the brunt of the work for the kids while you wallow in your worry. You’re not surprised, but you are thankful, and you tell him so every night before you show him.

On the morning of the fifteenth day of no Topper, you climb out of your empty bed and stumble out into the kitchen to make coffee. Josie is asleep on the couch, which has become her routine with Rafe for the last few months. She gets up and comes downstairs before he leaves for his run just so she can give him a hug and a kiss before he goes. He claims it’s the best part of his day, knowing it would usually lead to a cute pout on your lips. Instead, you just give him half a smile and then get lost in your head again.

“Morning, baby.”

Rafe’s voice shocks you out of your head and you spin around, eyes raking over his sweaty body. He gives you a faint smile, as if trying to assess your mood.

“Morning,” you rasp, listening to the coffee maker come to a halt, “Your girl is asleep on the couch again.”

“No, my girl is standing in our kitchen, worrying to death about something she can’t control,” he corrects, raising a brow as he nears you, “Come here.”

Your lips tip up as you shake your head, “No. You’re all sweaty.”

“You’re afraid of a little sweat?”

“Kinda!” you cry, laughing when he throws himself around you anyway.

He chuckles and squeezes you tighter, pulling his head back so he can take you in. Once you stop squirming to break free, your eyes meet his and you furrow your brows.

“What?” you ask.

“Missed that smile,” he confesses.

“I’m sorry,” you mumble, “I’m just worried about him.”

“I know, sweetheart. He’s probably taking this time to work out what he’s lost. He’s gonna need us soon, I know that.”

You nod, knowing Rafe’s right but not necessarily wanting to admit it. Instead, you cuddle into him and rest your chin on his sternum, puckering your lips for a kiss. He gives you one, and just as he starts to smile, you speak.

“I’m afraid,” you tell him, “I’m afraid something bad happened. Sarah’s always been a bit of a wild card, so I get this behavior from her. But, Top? He’s never disappeared this long. It has to be something major.”

“He’s okay,” Rafe says again, “He just needs some time.”

You just nod and bury your head into his chest, doing your best to let it go. You breathe Rafe in instead, letting him calm you down. It almost works, almost, when the sound of your sweet girl’s voice comes tearing through the house.

“Uncle Topper.”

Your eyes close under the two simple words. Rafe tenses against you, but lets his hand travel up and down your back to keep you calm.

“Josie, baby—” he starts, but her voice stops him.

“Uncle Topper’s outside!”

You perk up, yanking away from Rafe and meeting his eyes for a split second before you hurry out into the living room. Just as Josie had said, Topper slips into the house, using his key, and smiles when he sees Josie.

“Hi, my angel,” he greets her, lifting her up for a hug.

“Hi, Uncle Top,” she smiles, “Missed you.”

He purses his lips and nods, emotions evident at her words. You stand by the stairs and take him in with Rafe pressed to your back, sure he’s doing the same. He’s smaller somehow; his hair is a mess and he definitely hasn’t shaved since the last time you saw him. He looks hungover and sad, even as Josie paws at his stubble and leans in to give his jaw a kiss.

“I missed you, too,” he whispers.

For the first time since he entered, Topper looks up at you. It isn’t until you see his eyes that you realize how much he’s been going through in the last two weeks. He looks destroyed. Even worse, he looks as if he’s given up.

“Hey,” he says roughly, “Can we talk?”

You nod quickly, feeling your throat constrict as you swallow down your thousands of questions. Rafe’s hand meets your hip, and you watch as Topper tips his chin up at your husband.

“Let’s sit,” you speak, barely able to get the words out as you gesture toward the living room.

Rafe guides you down onto the couch while Topper settles into the armchair with Josie. She cuddles into his chest as if she can sense that something’s wrong, and you know it is when Topper pulls his wallet out of his pocket.

“Twelve hundred, right, Cameron?” Topper asks, fumbling with a handful of cash.

“What?” Rafe asks.

“Twelve hundred,” he repeats, tossing the pile of cash down on the coffee table in front of the two of you, “That’s how much you lent me for the ring. There it is.”

Your eyes widen as you look for Rafe for an explanation — one where he actually tells you that he lent money to Topper and you don’t have to hear about it after it clearly doesn’t work out. Rafe’s eyes close and he puffs out his cheeks, then slowly exhales.

“Why are you giving that back?” Rafe asks, still not willing to look at either of you.

Topper laughs, then leans forward and covers Josie’s ears with his palms, “Didn’t work out.”

Josie squirms and shoves Topper’s hands from her ears, then turns around and glares at him. To apologize, he leans forward and pecks her forehead.

Rafe’s eyes open then, but instead of facing the music with you, he keeps his eyes on Topper.

“Where’s my sister?”

Topper swallows, “Fuck, she’s— sorry, baby. Don’t say that word. She’s in Boston.”

Josie furrows her brows and sits up tall in his lap, reaching her hand up and petting his scuff the same way she was earlier. Rafe squirms uncomfortably, desperate to know more about why Sarah is in Boston and not here.

“Where’d you go?” Josie asks with the pout that makes Topper melt, “You left me.”

Immediately, Topper shakes his head, “I would never do that, Josephine. You’re my girl. My only girl.”

“What about Aunt Sarah?” she asks.

Topper’s eyes meet yours before he looks back at her, and you can tell he’s biting back the response he wants to give. Instead, he paints a fake smile on his face and pulls her closer.

“She wasn’t the one for me,” he explains, “But you know who is?”

She grins, “Me.”

“Correct,” he smiles, “And I promise, I will never leave you. Are we okay?”

She nods happily, standing up on his thighs to wrap her arms around his neck.

“I love you,” she says.

“I love you, too, angel.”

You shift in your seat, needing desperately to know what happened but not wanting to push him away from Josie. Rafe pats your leg, signaling that he’ll take Josie and leave the room while the two of you talk. You give him a small smile, and just as he stands, Connor comes down the stairs.

“Uncle Top!”

You sigh internally, but smile when you see Connor dive over the armchair and into Topper’s lap. Topper smiles and embraces him, immediately asking him how he is and to catch him up on everything. Rafe sits down again and puts his arm around you, kissing your temple gently as you accept waiting your turn.

By the time the kids calm down, you’ve had two cups of coffee and your leg continues to jump up and down. Topper looks over at you and sighs, then sits up and repositions Josie.

“Hey, angel, I’m gonna talk to your mom for a bit. I’ll be right back, okay?”

Josie looks over at you in hesitation, then nods, “Okay.”

You stand up when he looks over at you, then sets her down in the chair and stands from his seat. You stand too, giving Rafe a hesitant look before you squeeze his hand and follow Topper out to the deck.

Silently, the two of you sit down. You balance your half empty mug on your thigh and squirm, working up the courage to look over at him. He keeps his head down in his lap, hands gripping the arms of the chairs tightly.

“Did you get my messages?” you ask weakly.

“I did,” he replies, not looking up, “All thirty-two of them.”

You purse your lips to hide an embarrassed smile, watching him as his own mouth tips up at the ridiculous number.

“Sorry,” you mumble.

“Don’t be. I was acting like a tool.”

You watch his eyes flicker up to yours, and before either of you can say another word, he gives you a real smile. You visibly relax in your seat at the sight of his smile, convincing yourself that maybe things aren’t as bad as you’ve been thinking up for the past hour.

“What’s in Boston?”

His jaw shifts as he exhales, “She got a job up there. Claims she wants to put her Communications degree to work in a place that’s not surrounded by water.”

“Oh,” you nod, “But, you’re not going with her?”

“Y/N,” he sighs, shifting in his chair and tucking his head into his hands, “It’s complicated.”

You lean forward, wrapping your hand around his forearm to pull his hands away. He looks over at you, his eyes swimming with tears, and sniffles.

“I can handle it. What happened, Top?”

He swallows roughly, staring at you for a moment before he speaks.

“We broke up,” he states bluntly, but you know he’s not through, “She’s pregnant.”

Your jaw drops as your heart sinks into your stomach, looking at him as if to find some silent explanation on how that news could lead to a breakup. When he doesn’t elaborate, you puff out your cheeks and exhale slowly.

“Why—I mean, what—”

“What does that have to do with us breaking up?” he guesses, shaking his head as he chuckles sarcastically, “Well, she’s pregnant, and she doesn’t want a baby. She says we’re not ready. She, uh, found out she was pregnant three weeks before she told me, then came to me with a pregnancy test and an adoption pamphlet.”

You swallow, “And you said—”

“I said,” he continues, “We’re getting married soon, and I’m scared, too, but we can do this. She said no, things escalated, and then she threw the ring at me.”

“Top,” you whine, “I’m so—”

“She’s keeping it,” he interrupts, “But she doesn’t want to be a mom. She said she’ll respect what I want if I respect what she wants, too. So, I’ve spent the last two weeks deciding between being a single parent or giving my child up to strangers.”

Your eyes well up with tears as you try to even imagine being put in such a place and coming out in a good headspace. You’re sure you’d look even worse than Topper does, and even that is being generous.

You reach out and grab his hand, covering it with both of your own. His jaw shifts as he holds back tears of his own, looking at you just as you start to cry.

“I’m so sorry, Topper. That’s a really tough position to be put in. Do you want to talk about it? Figure out your decision?”

He shakes his head, “I’ve made my decision.”

Your throat constricts as you suck in a breath, feeling as though you’ll never be able to get enough air in.

“Oh,” you squeak.

He squeezes your hand and gives you a small, sad smile, “It’s my baby, Y/N. I’m not just going to give them up. And, yeah, maybe a nice couple would be really good to the kid, but I’m their dad. I can do this. I’m just, um — I’m gonna need a lot of help.”

You grin, sniffling and trying to keep your tears in. He laughs when you nod and pull him in for a hug, squeezing him so tight that he has to know you believe his decision is the right one. He chuckles, and when he pulls back, you wipe the stray tears from his cheeks.

“I’m so happy for you,” you whisper, “You’re gonna have a baby, Top. That’s amazing. You’re amazing.”

“Thank you,” he answers.

“I mean it. You’re going to be great. This baby doesn’t know how lucky they are.”

His eyes flutter closed at the words coming from you, fresh tears falling at the motion. A million questions flow through your head, but you don’t ask any of them. You just sit with him, letting him breathe in his new future.

“I have to talk to the kids,” he eventually says, nodding his head in the direction of the house, “I have to go to Boston for a while. I need to take care of her while she’s pregnant. I just don’t want them thinking I’ve left them. My heart will always be here with those two, you know? They’re the kids that made me realize I want my own.”

You smile, “They love you so much. So do I. I know this situation isn’t how you thought it would happen, but I think you’re doing everything right. I’m just sorry that it’s not what Sarah wants, too.”

He clenches his jaw, “It was. That’s why I proposed. We talked about living here and having kids and building a life together. And then Boston came along, and she just changed. I don’t even want to think about why.”

“Topper,” you say weakly, “You have been amazing to her. Her change in behavior had nothing to do with you, I’m sure of it. I really thought things would work out between the two of you this time.”

Tears fall from his eyes again, but this time, it’s different. He nods in silent agreement with you, taking in shaky breaths to try to collect himself.

“I did, too,” he confesses, “But, selfishly, I’m glad my baby will be half Sarah. She’s the first girl I ever loved, you know? Maybe she won’t be the last, but at least I’ll have a piece of her for the rest of my life.”

Before you can help yourself, you set your mug down on the ground and pull Topper up, begging him for a hug. He wraps his arms around you and squeezes you tight, letting himself cry.

“You’re a good man,” you whisper, “We will be here for whatever you need. I promise.”

“Thank you, Y/N,” he replies, voice thick with emotion, “You’re my best friend.”

“You’re mine, too, Top.”

You hug him for a while, hoping that if you squeeze tight enough, you can push those broken pieces of his heart back together. When he finally pulls back, he lets you wipe the tear streaks from his cheeks and then gives you a smile, his silent way of telling you that this helped him.

“When do you have to go?” you ask.

“Tomorrow,” he says, “I want to be there for all the milestones. I don’t wanna miss anything more than I already have.”

You nod, trying and failing not to let your disappointment show. He lets his hands find yours and squeezes before he nods in the direction of the house.

“Want me to get the kids?”

He nods, “Yeah. Could you, um, talk to Rafe? It’s his sister and I just— I can’t do it.”

“Of course,” you reply, “I’ll be right back.”

He releases you and watches as you take a few steps to the door. He waits until your hand meets the doorknob to speak again.

“Y/N,” he calls, “I love you.”

You smile and turn around, “I love you, too.”

He returns your smile and lets you escape back into the house, taking the minute alone to collect himself. You walk into the living room to find Rafe and Connor on the couch together as they play a game on Rafe’s phone, while Josie plays on the floor with Connor’s stuffed dinosaurs.

Rafe looks up at you when you enter, and just as you collide with the blue in his eyes, tears start to well. He tenses and stands, rushing over to you without a second’s worth of hesitation.

“Sweetheart, what is it?” he asks.

You shake your head and give him a fake smile as you sniffle, then look over to the kids, who stare at both of you.

“Guys, Uncle Top wants to talk to both of you outside,” you tell them.

“Okay,” Connor answers, rising from the couch.

He reaches out and takes Josie’s hand, leading her toward the back door. You wait for it to click closed behind them before collapsing into Rafe, letting your emotions overwhelm you.

“Shit, baby, hey,” he whispers, “Hey, it’s okay. Let’s sit.”

He pulls you over to the couch and helps you sit down. You reach up and wipe under your eyes with the tips of your fingers, doing your best to compose yourself for his sake. He’s patient, as you expect, and brushes the hair away from your face as he waits for you to speak.

“Sarah, um,” you sniffle, your voice cracking slightly as you continue, “She got a job up in Boston. She’s staying up there, and, well, she’s pregnant.”

“She’s pregnant?” he repeats, his eyes wide, “But they’re— he said—”

“I know,” you nod, “She doesn’t want to be a mom. At least, not right now.”

Rafe’s lips part as he takes in the new information, and you can practically see the wheels turning in his brain. His hand falls to your thigh as he collapses back into the couch, running a a hand through his messy hair.

“Shit,” he mumbles, “So, what’s going to happen with the baby?”

Your eyes close, “Topper’s going to raise them. On his own.”

You can feel Rafe tense, but your eyes remain glued shut. Rafe’s grip on your thigh tightens, a silent beg for you to state your opinion before he explodes with his own. You swallow while he shifts his weight, letting out a shaky and angry breath.

“What the fuck,” he hisses, “She’s just gonna not be in her child’s life? Forever? She’s giving up an engagement and a baby for a fucking job?”

Rafe stands as he raises his voice, which is the only reason you allow your eyes to open once more. You stand with him and cup his cheeks in your palms, trying to calm him down.

“It’s her life, Rafe,” you tell him, “It’s her choice. If this is what Sarah wants, we have to respect that.”

“Fuck that, I don’t respect anything about her abandoning a family,” he spits.

“Rafe,” you sigh, “She’s not abandoning anything—”

“Bullshit, she’s not. I’m gonna go call her right now—”

“Stop it,” you demand, grabbing onto his wrists, “You can’t make this choice for her, and you’ll only drive her away if you yell at her. She’s an adult and she’s made her decision. Topper’s okay. Sarah deserves to have a career.”

“She deserves to—”

“Rafe,” you stop him, “I’m sure this was a difficult decision for Sarah to make. But she made it alone, and we have to respect that. Just because you disagree with your sister doesn’t make her wrong. Please. Let’s just both take some time to cool off before we say anything to anyone.”

His jaw is clenched tight as he stares at you; evidently fighting every desire to dial up his sister and scream into her voicemail. Instead, he takes a deep breath and lets it all out, then pulls you tightly into his arms.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers, “Didn’t mean to yell.”

“I know,” you reply.

You clutch him tight, pulling his shirt into your fist as you breathe unevenly against his neck. You two remain like that for a few minutes, not wanting to break the silence with more discussion about Sarah, and break away only when the back door opens.

Topper carries a crying Josie inside with Connor in front of him, who looks sad but is attempting to hold it together. Josie’s arms lock around his neck and her little sniffles sound from the crook of his neck. Connor immediately walks over to you and holds his arms up, letting you pick him up and hold him tight.

Topper doesn’t look much better, in fact, he looks gutted. He doesn’t attempt to put Josie down or even make her feel better, he just continues to kiss the top of her head every now and then.

“I’m sorry,” Topper says to you, and when he finally works himself up to looking over to Rafe, his frown deepens, “Look, Rafe—”

“You have no reason to explain yourself to me, Top,” Rafe says, keeping his hand on your waist, “You’ve got all my respect.”

Topper’s Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows, “Thank you.”

Rafe nods, then steps over to the coffee table and picks up the cash Topper had left there to repay him. Folding the bills in half, Rafe holds them out to him, nodding when Topper shakes his head.

“You’re my brother,” Rafe says, shifting his jaw to prevent his emotions from showing, “Babies are expensive. Take it. We’ll get more to you whenever you need it.”

Topper shakes his head again, “Rafe—”

“Take the money, Top.”

With a tight grip on Josie, Topper grabs the money and stuffs it into his pocket, as if hurrying will mean he doesn’t have to accept it. With a nod to Rafe, Topper turns and looks down at the girl on his chest, heart visibly breaking at the sight of her.

“Angel, I’ve gotta—”

“No,” she whines.

Topper’s eyes close as he lets his lips meet her forehead, urging her up.

“Come on, Jo. Let me see those eyes,” he presses. Pulling back, she looks up at him with her best puppy dog eyes, earning tears from Topper, “There they are. My favorite girl in the whole world.”

“I can go to Boston with you,” she proposes, “I’ll be extra good, I promise.”

He smiles, but it’s tainted with more tears, “I know you would. But your Mommy and Daddy would miss you too much.”

Connor looks up at Topper from his place on your shoulder, “You’ll come home for my birthday?”

“Of course I will,” Topper promises.

“Mine, too,” Josie insists.

“I promise. I’ll call a lot, okay?”

“Okay,” she says, bottom lip jutting out in a pout.

“Come here. I love you so much, my angel,” he whispers to her, pulling her close.

Josie starts to cry again, and you’re not at all surprised when Topper hands her off to Rafe to avoid breaking. Connor squirms from your arms and runs into Topper’s, clutching him tight.

“I love you, Uncle Top,” Connor tells him.

“I love you, too, buddy. Call me whenever you want to, okay?”

Connor nods, “I will.”

The four of you walk Topper outside to his truck, where he receives another round of hugs from each of you. Rafe hands Josie off to you and sticks his hand out for Topper to shake, but is quick to pull him in for a hug.

“You’re gonna be a good father,” Rafe tells him, “Because you’re a good man.”

You give Topper a hug after Rafe and make him promise to call more than once every two weeks, and just like that, he’s gone. Although you feel like collapsing into nothing right there in the driveway, you regain composure and walk inside, gripping onto Connor’s hand for dear life.

The remainder of the day is spent holding the kids close and making sure they understand that Topper has to go, and that he’s not leaving them. Both of them seem sad in their own way, but by the time they fall asleep on both you and Rafe, you figure that they’re sad because they see the sadness in you.

Rafe carries them both up to bed for you, telling you just to rest for a bit and he’ll be down soon. You let your emotions get the best of you once he’s out of the room, and you cry for Topper for a few minutes, Then, you regain control of yourself and cover up with a blanket, letting your mind work as you stare off.

Part of you, like Rafe, wonders how Sarah could make such a choice. Another part of you wants to stand up for her until the end. You’re sure a million thoughts went into her decision to end it and move. Maybe she’s not happy here. Maybe she’s not happy with Topper. If she’s not ready to be a mom, to make a lifelong commitment that will impact her every day, well, you can understand that. Sarah deserves the option that men get every single time they see a positive pregnancy test — to be involved or not. You refuse to crucify her over something that nobody would bat an eye at if she were a man.

Rafe finds you like that when he comes back downstairs; wrapped up in your own head and cuddled into the couch. He walks past you initially, and when you hear the familiar clanking of mugs in the kitchen, you smile to yourself.

He returns a few minutes later with two full mugs of hot chocolate — and about a million marshmallows sticking out of each one — then hands one off to you. As he sits, one of his arms comes around you while the other holds his mug. You collapse into his chest and inhale his familiar scent, letting it wash away all feelings of worry or sadness.

“She just left,” Rafe sighs, talking about Sarah, “She packed up her shit and left without saying goodbye.”

“I’m sure she’ll come home to visit and stuff,” you mumble.

“I don’t care about that,” he grunts, “She left our children, Y/N. Without a care in the world.”

You shake your head, “I’m sure it’s not like that—”

“It’s exactly like that. Sarah’s selfish at heart. This whole mess proves that. And she can put on her little show and play us all, but this is always how things turn out with her. I mean, shit, you remember how she was.”

“Of course I do, Rafe,” you sigh, “But you can’t hold that against her for the rest of her life. You’re not your worst mistake, either.”

He grows quiet at that. You sip from your mug of hot chocolate and lean into him, trying to simultaneously calm him and yourself.

“I just can’t imagine choosing a career over my family,” he whispers.

You nod to show him that you understand his point, “People are different.”

Rafe nods his head, and silence overcomes the two of you again. Your eyes start to pull closed, exhausted from the extreme emotions you’ve had to feel over the course of the day.

“We have to help him,” Rafe says, “In every way. He’s gonna need it.”

He reaches over and removes your mug from your hands, which allows you to wrap your arm around his chest and fully cuddle into him.

“We will,” you reply.

He chuckles to himself and kisses the top of your head, shifting minimally to place the mugs on the coffee table before cuddling back in with you. He fixes the blanket over both of you, then pulls you in closer.

“I love you, sweetheart,” he says quietly, “Thank you for everything you’ve given me.”

You smile, “I love you, too, Cameron.”

He laughs, and before you know it, the sleep pulls you under. You don’t even object when you wake up at four in the morning with Rafe cuddled on top of you, face buried in your neck as he softly snores. You just press a kiss to his forehead and close your eyes once more, thankful that even if you have to deal with temper tantrums and laundry and lost toys, at least you have a partner to do all of it with.

Tags:

@witchwyfe @ghostselena @goldenjo @storytellingwitht @scenesofobx @itsalexwin @onmykneesforrafe @valeriiecameron @lovedetlost @mardema @wishing-i-was-rafes-princess @malums-trash-can @emotionalbruv @onenightnorth @rafecameronswhore @wanniiieeee @sarahwasfound @lilgoddesshines @abrunettefangirlnerd @absolute-fcking-chaos @premixed-margarita @anonymousobxfan @samcaniglia @midnightanticss @iammirrorball @r0und3bitch @thesimpletype @notdisneychannel @gillybear17 @solllaris @i-is-for-inspiring @luversgirl @maybankxw @mattyskies @imobsessedsblog @ryswritingrecord @barbietiingz @sierraahhhh @bethoconnor @starkeyobx @pittbull-enthusiast @nourfine @outerbankspov @zdrewrrys @elizabethrosecresswell @lienoec @luhdrew @localhockeygirl

#rafe cameron #rafe fic #rafe obx #rafe x reader #rafe fanfiction #rafe cameron imagine #rafe #outer banks netflix #rafe outer banks #outerbanks #outerbanks netflix #outer banks #rafe cameron x you #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron x y/n #rafe x y/n #rafe x you #outerbanks rafe #outer banks imagine

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kairakeiji · 2 years

Text

kita’s nervous.

when his grandma told him about the arranged marriage, he couldn’t help but hesitate. his grandma was the one who raised him, the one who watched over him, helped him through the dark points of life. she was the wisest person kita knew, she wouldn’t offer this if she thought it was a terrible idea. after all, a marriage like this could lead to the merging of two villages, not that there was any conflict going on, if anything it could help the two communities thrive. kita just wasn’t sure why he was picked to be the candidate for marriage.

kita’s nervous, and he hopes it’s not super apparent.

he wonders who she picked. he wonders why she picked them. he wonders about his potential partner’s interests, their hobbies, what they love, what they hate, what they value. he hopes they have something in common, he hopes they have something the two of them could bond over. everything about his partner was up to chance, up to the gods and the beings in the heavens. maybe that’s why he was so anxious walking towards his partner’s house, why there was a slight tremble in his hand as he helped his grandma up the small wooden stairs to the house, why he hesitated slightly when he got to the front doorstep. there was a strange familiarity to the house, one he couldn’t seem to put a finger on.

“go on,” his grandma nods with a kind smile, snapping kita out of his thoughts.

“okay,” he exhales, gaining his composure before knocking slowly once, twice, three times.

there’s a moment of silence that follows, one that makes kita question if anyone’s even home. he’s growing more anxious by the second. the person’s he’s set to marry could be behind that door, a person he most certainly has never met in his entire life, a person he’s supposed to spend the rest of his life with. it’s so terrifying, yet it sends adrenaline through his veins.

the anticipation is thrilling.

the sound of rushed footsteps coming towards the door makes him relax. someone’s home, someone’s going to let him in, someone’s going to let him meet his lifelong partner.

the door swings wide open.

kita’s eyes go wide.

“sorry! i just wanted to finish getting ready i swore someone already answered the door b-”

“it’s you.”

you’re standing in front of kita, your expression almost mirroring his when you meet his gaze. “it’s you,” you repeat.

and kita thanks the stars, he thanks any god who willingly listened to him, he thanks the universe for giving him the chance to see you again.

“oh hi there! it’s so wonderful to see you again!” you smile and kita’s grandma gives you a kind wave as you step to the side. “please! please come in! grandma’s just about finished setting up.”

there’s a wave of shock in kita as he takes off his shoes, you’ve grown tremendously since he had last seen you, it had been years after all. you looked older, much more mature than the wild child he was friends with growing up, yet your smile was still as bright as ever. “if i had known it was you i wouldn’t have dressed up so much,” you laughed as the three of you approached the small table on the floor.

“you look wonderful,” kita smiles as he takes his spot on the floor.

“grandma!” you call out as you sit next to her, “why didn’t you tell me shin would be my husband?”

kita’s heart skips a beat at your question.

“wanted to keep it a surprise,” she smiles.

“and it was quite the surprise,” kita nods.

the conversation that follows is quite relaxing. as the two groups continue to talk about the wedding and it’s a surprisingly long list of benefits kita can’t help but stare at you. you’ve grown so much from when he last saw you. he still remembers those fond memories from childhood, the ones where you would always take him on adventures, exploring the forest close to your house and traveling from village to village. you were inseparable until the day you moved away, promising that you would see him again someday.

he never thought it would actually come true.

“well,” you start finally dropping the stiff formalities once the grandmas left, “how’ve you been?”

“i’ve been good,” he nods.

“oh come on,” you sigh moving to sit next to him. “it’s been seventeen years since we last saw each other and that’s all you have to say.”

his gaze shifts to you, “you’ve been counting?”

“kind of?” you reply. “what we met when we were like seven?” kita nods. “so yeah seventeen years give or take.”

“and now we’re getting married,” he hums.

your eyes widen, “i know! it’s so weird to think about,” you add on. “like when granny told me she found a promising partner i was scared she picked some kind of creep.”

kita shakes his head, “she wouldn’t do that.”

“i know,” you shrug, “yet there’s always that possibility.”

“your grandma’s too nice for that,” he insists with a smile. “remember when she’d always bake us cookies when we hung out?”

“which means she literally baked us cookies every day,” you answer with a small laugh.

god, he missed that laugh of yours.

“what about you though?” you question, “what’d you think about the whole arranged marriage thing.”

“it was interesting,” he hums. “i mean i knew she’d pick someone good i just thought they might not be super interested in me.”

“like anyone wouldn’t be interested in you.”

“okay but still,” he waves off. “they could’ve been my complete opposite, been unable to bond or even be my friend. i mean if i’m going to marry someone they should at least be my friend.”

“well,” you smile. “i’m your friend.”

“that you are,” he nods.

“i’m your friend, we can easily bond and our grannies love each other,” you list. “i’ve already checked everything off for you!” and there’s a prideful smile on your face at your words, it makes kita laugh.

“i guess so,” he nods.

you offer your hand out, “so, marriage?”

“i don’t think that’s how you’re supposed to do it,” kita reasons.

“i don’t think any of this is how we’re supposed to do things.”

and he laughs once more, firmly shaking your hand, “okay, marriage.”

“and now we’re officially married!” you exclaim.

“again,” he laughs. “not how you do things.”

you’ve still got that sunshine like energy from when you were young.

“so what?” you wave off, “we can figure out the technicalities later.”

it’s something he’s always loved about you.

“marriage,” you exhale with a nod.

“marriage,” he repeats.

“we’re married.”

“not technically but yes,” he corrects.

and you meet his gaze, “i’m so excited.”

and kita means it with his entire being when he responds.

“i’m glad, i am too.”

i’ve been on a kita kick recently gahhh honestly he’s just so sweet i love him

thanks for reading! reblogs/interactions are always appreciated <33

#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu kita #kita x reader #kita shinsuke #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu drabble #haikyuu imagine #kita fluff #kita imagine #hq #x reader #fluff #kita #hq kita x reader #hq kita #writing.txt

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harlowcomehome · 2 years

Note

AHH hazel and jade watching their dad on tv performing

“Award Show blues.”

“Is daddy coming up soon?” Hazel asked impatiently as you got the snacks ready in the kitchen.

You couldn’t help but laugh “Baby, the award show just started. I don’t think daddy is on for a good while.” You called her over to help you carry the snack bowls.

Hazel grabbed a bowl of chips from you and shuffled into the living room. Jade got to hold on to her own sippy cup but she still felt like she was helping.

You got everything else ready and headed into the living room, you had made a blanket fort for the girls on the floor and you were laying down on the couch. You were a little sad you couldn’t go with Jack to this award show but the guests were limited this year due to the spike in Covid cases. Jack didn’t want you or the girls to bother with a flight either so he would be coming home on the soonest red eye.

When the award show started, it named all of the celebrities performing, Jack being one of them. You recorded the girls reactions to the person on tv saying his name and the two of them cheered, you giggled and sent it to Jack immediately.

Hubby💜: They are so cute, wish you were here with me.

You smiled knowing that he meant it.

The award show flew by fairly quickly, the camera panned over to Jack a few times and the girls got excited each time. Jack took home two out of the three awards he was nominated for so you knew he was going to be in a really good mood tonight.

You knew Jack was closing the show so you made sure both of your girls got a nap in earlier in the day so that they could watch him perform, but they were still growing impatient.

“Is daddy coming up soon?” Hazel asked obviously bored and you laughed as you checked the time. “I think we have about 20 more minutes bug.” Jade and Hazel both walked over to you and sat on the couch.

“I wish we could’ve went with him” Hazel said, you could hear the sadness in her voice. “I do too, but sometimes daddy has to do stuff by himself to keep us safe” you smiled as you moved her hair out of her face. She nodded which you were happy she didn’t question it more.

Jade leaned her head on your arm, you could tell she was tired. “Sleepy baby?” She nodded and you smiled “don’t worry, not much longer.”

Eventually you heard the award show host announce the last performance so you nudged both of the girls and pointed at the tv “Hey look! It’s daddy!” You quickly set up your phone up to record. You knew he would want to see their reactions.

Jack had been rehearsing for months and was super stressed about this so you were eager to see how it all turned out. You set your phone up at just the right angle and danced with the girls in the living room. Hazel singing the words she was allowed to and Jade mumbling and bouncing up and down.

When the performance was done you picked up your phone and faced the girls “now what do we say to daddy!”

“You did so good! We love you!” Hazel hollered still on a high from watching her dad.

“Love yous!” Jade mumbled in an echo.

You faced the camera toward yourself but before you could say anything your phone rang, it was Jack.

“Hey Handsome” you giggled into the phone. He was still out of breath “did you see it?”

“We all did” you switched the phone to FaceTime and showed him the girls and he laughed. “I can’t believe they stayed up!” Hazel and Jade waved to Jack and told him how excited they were and proud before you told them both to start cleaning up and getting ready for bed.

You turned the phone back onto yourself “I’m very proud of you, I told you everything would be perfect!” He laughed and shook his head “yeah, you’re right.” You smiled “I’m always right.” He clicked his tongue “Now I don’t know about that” he laughed and you did too.

“When are you coming home to me? I’d like to reward you for your two shiny new trophies” you wiggled your brow and he shushed you “where are the girls?” You laughed and shook your head “they weren’t listening, they’re getting ready for bed.”

“Oh, then I’ll see your sexy ass in a few hours” he smirked.

“Goodnight daddy!! We love you!” Hazel hollered from the hall and you laughed “well they might have heard you though.

He laughed and shook his head “see you soon beautiful.”

“Be safe! I love you” you reassured him and he responded with a quick “I love you too” before hanging up.

You knew he was rushing to the airport to make it back home, you couldn’t be happier.

#Jack Harlow #jack harlow concepts #jack harlow blurb #jack harlow imagines #jack harlow x reader #jack harlow fanfic

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girlblogger666 · 2 years

Text

Billy and Chrissy being besties

An: i can see it happening tbh!! Hope u guys enjoy these headcanons! ✨🫶🏻

Okay so the second Billy started his semester at Hawkins High, he’d fit right in with the populars

Chrissy being one of them cuz she’s been a cheerleader since freshman year

She’d also be extremely intrigued by Billy but that’s also bc she finds him just a teeny bit attractive

That’s a lie tho, hes literally her type

Curly hair, leather jacket, bad boy personality, but she’s with Jason…..and hes different

So it’s no surprise that Billy could sense her nervousness around him whenever he’d hang around her squad and that leads to him saying

“Let me drive you home, you live near me, no?”

So she lets him and on their little drive home she learns he actually has a great taste in music and hes funny

They’d start to hangout more and learn more about each other, especially their trauma and stuff :(((

“We’re just two messed up souls, aren’t we?” Billy would say to lighten the sad mood

I think Jason would start to suspect something bc he’s such a jealous dude and Chrissys like “nope, just friends”

Which is true because Billy has his eye on someone ;) and Chrissy can’t rlly picture him with her and she has Jason

That quickly changes though during one lunch period when Billy and Chrissy are sitting outside together

Sometimes Billy can only handle so much of all the jocks, so he always invites Chrissy to sit out with him

So when Chrissy picks at her barely eaten food because she’s so distracted by the group of “freaks” sitting across them more specifically the long haired one, Billy senses what’s up

“I knew it,” he’d bring her back to their little reality

“Knew what??” Her face would grow as red as a tomato, trying her hardest to remain stern

“Munson,” his face grows wide along with his devilish grin, “you have the hots for Eddie fuckin’ Munson”

Chrissy would deny deny deny as best as she can but if Billy knows then it’s super obvious

Billy finds it hilarious that the head cheerleader would be crushing on someone like Eddie

Chrissys his pal tho and if that’s who she chooses to like, then why should he care

He’d tease her by saying “instead of buying drugs from him, I’m just gonna tell him that you’ve been hopelessly in love with him since middle school”

“Do that and I’ll slash the tires on your precious Camaro”

Chrissy didn’t have the best grades (her student file!!) and I can imagine Billy didn’t either, so the two of them would start studying together bc they rlly wanna graduate

Billy would sometimes bring her over to study at his place and there Max would see the two of them

Chrissy waving at Max who shyly waves back bc she doesn’t know if that’s Billy’s friend or girlfriend

Chrissy giving Billy relationship advice

In return, Billy gives Chrissy his mixtape bc he listens to the same stuff as Eddie

Billy and Chrissy secretly heading to the hideout to watch Eddie’s band and running out as soon as he notices them

During the summer, Billy would get her a job as a lifeguard and she’d befriend Heather as well

The three of them staying out late after the pool is closed and when Heather leaves, Billy and Chrissy just talk

She asks him about what to do with Jason and he gives her the most honest advice he can

I think he’d be tender with her and that would start motivating him to be kinder to his sister because he treats Chrissy more like a sister than he’d like to admit

I’m all for Billy and Chrissy bettering themselves

Tysm for reading babies <3333

#stranger things #billy hargrove #dacre montgomery #chrissy cunnigham #grace van dien #chrissy x eddie #eddie x chrissy #eddie munson #joesph quinn #stranger things 4 #eddissy #hellcheer

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pennylanefics · 1 year

Note

okay okay how about Josh + 15 & 28 please and thank u 👀🫶🏻

15. “You’d be a great mom.”

28. “Are you crying? Honey, no, please don’t cry.”

you never expected this to be your life. only three years into your relationship with josh, and here you are. realizing a few nights ago, in the midst of a steamy night after their final show of their tour, you forgot protection.

though this conversation was common between you and josh, he was always talking about having a kid and how great it would be, you expected it to be on your own terms. planned. not in this sort of forgetful and irresponsible.

“you haven’t even taken a test yet, how can you be sure that you’re pregnant?” your friend alice asks as you pace in front of her in her living room.

“because that’s just my luck,” you mumble, running your hands through your hair. “it’ll happen and…i don’t know if i’m ready to be a mom yet. i-i don’t know what to do.”

“hey, just calm down, okay? did you think about taking the morning after pill?”

“i think it’s too late for that. and i-i don’t know how josh is going to react and all and-”

“josh would love to have a baby with you, (y/n). seriously. i have heard him talk about it so many times, and you can tell just from the smile on his face, that he’s super on board with the idea no matter the situation. and you know him, he’ll probably have some philosophical reason as to why it’s the perfect situation.”

her words ease your mind for a bit, but you knew that you were going to have to talk to josh soon. and that day came weeks later, when you started showing signs of being pregnant, and finally decided to take a few tests.

today, he was spending the day with the guys, celebrating finally having as much free time as they want, and he had been gone for hours at this point. but right as you were in the middle of cooking dinner, he walks in. however, because you were listening to music, you didn’t hear him.

he ran straight to the bathroom to relieve himself, and what you forgot, was that you left the tests out on the counter. so he sees them immediately.

“baby, what are these?” he enters the kitchen, holding the tests up. his eyebrows are furrowed together in surprise, but there is no hint of anger or upset.

“i, um, i-i…”

“are these yours?” he wonders. silence hangs in the air as you stare him down. your shoulders deflate a bit and your eyes fall to the ground.

“yeah,” you whisper, the tears brimming your eyes. josh looks down at them again, noticing that they’re all positive; he’s completely unaware of your current state.

“i can’t- hey, hey, hey. are you crying? honey, no, please don’t cry,” he coos, rushing over to you after setting the tests down on the counter. he wraps his arm around you and holds you close, kissing your temple softly, his hand rubbing up and down your back.

he allows you to cry for as long as you need, letting you pull away when you need to. and when you finally do, he wipes your tears the moment he’s able to see your stained cheeks.

“why are you crying, darling? talk to me.”

“this-this wasn’t planned, josh. we were reckless and forgot protection after your last show and-and…”

“hey, it’s okay that it wasn’t planned. this is just…a huge, incredible surprise, honestly. a-are you not excited?”

“i’m scared,” you whisper. “what if i’m not, what if i’m not a good mom?”

“are you kidding? you’d be a great mom. i don’t think i’d want anyone else being the mother of my children, you are so incredible and i love you. this may be a surprise, but i know we can handle it. do you trust me, darling?”

you give him a slight nod and a small smile and fall back into his arms.

“so we’re going to be okay?” you ask. he nods against your shoulder and holds you just a bit tighter.

“we’ll get through this. and i’m going to be by your side every step of the way. i promise you.”

#gvf blurb event #jmk

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binchansbiceps · 1 year

Text

I Have Been Playing With A Superstar Chapter 2

The months had seemed to fly by and drag on at the same time. A. didn’t play with you much anymore as he said he had to work on this project for the meetings he had to travel for. But at least he did message you when he could. Mini was now super excited cause Stray kids just announced that they would be going on tour. She was trying to convince you to save and go with her and you were trying to do your best but life was never easy for that. You had always made just enough to pay rent, buy groceries, and every once in a while get something for yourself. Paying for really expensive concert tickets was sadly not in the realm of possibility. Especially with the short time frame that's been given for when the concert is.

It’s not that you didn’t want to go, cause you really did. Stray Kids was the first group you really got into. Hell you had gotten two tattoos for Stray Kids one for the first album you had ever heard and the second for your favourite song. And you hadn’t been listening to them for very long. You had actually gotten them done only three to four months in. So it was safe to say that you were a Stay.

Not overly crazy, you watched the lives and their posts on youtube, you thought about getting Bubble but the cost was a little too much. And anytime you heard about the fans stalking them and trying to get close to them by force just made you mad and disgusted. Though you do have to admit, to simping a bit yourself even reading some fanfics and maybe writing one or two as well.

It’s kinda one thing you and A. bonded over, though not just Stray kids but Ateez, NCT, Twice, Black Pink and a few others he had actually gotten you into. You were a bit surprised he liked K-pop as most people you met didn’t seem to really understand the whole you can enjoy music in other languages that you don’t understand cause you don’t speak them… thing.

So happy to say you had met someone who did, and all on your own made you very happy. Most of your K-pop friends came from Mini when she had dragged you into liking the music. For the second time as the first you had only listened to for a few weeks before losing interest and forgetting all about it.

Enjoying your day off laying in bed and listening to a random shuffle of all your music on your phone. A. sent you a message.

Hey!! - A.

Hey hows the project going?? - Y/U/N

Its going pretty well! Super excited to present it - A.

Thats good - Y/U/N So what day are you getting here do you know yet?? - Y/U/N

Yeah we just got a confirmed date for arrival - A. It’s in 2 weeks on tuesday - A.

Ohh thats soo awesome i can’t wait!! - Y/U/N When is best for you to meet up i know this coffee shop nearby or we can find one in between if your a little further away - Y/U/N

We are staying in a hotel near the city but i will have a driver so i can disappear for a few and we should all be good so close by you works well and tuesday afternoon should work for me - A.

Sounds great ill send you the address and ill meet you there!! - Y/U/N

Ok im super excited!! - A. I need to go back to work now but ill see you in a few weeks!! - A.

Okay have fun! - Y/U/N

With the new knowledge you were even now more excited and hoping to be able to meet up more than once before he would have to go home. But since you didn’t know his full schedule and how long he was staying, the one time with him was good enough.

Besides now that he was ready to meet up you could call and facetime now so that’s even more exciting.

You immediately tell Mini you knew she would want to know when and where you were meeting him. You know it was to keep you safe. She wasn’t going to come with you but she wanted to know when and where you were at all times. And you couldn’t fault her for that, you would do the same for her if the roles were reversed, and it was she who’s meeting up with some ‘rando’ she had been talking to for just over a year and had never even seen a photo of.

The day finally came, it was time to go and meet A. at the cafe. You picked a nice T-shirt and some leggings and some nice flats to go with. Adding some mascara, leaving the rest of your face blank as you never like the feel of wearing makeup, it’s too heavy and makes your face feel itchy.

You grab the mini backpack you use as a purse and make your way out the door. Leaving a little too early, as always the fear of being late is what powers you into always being about an hour early to things.

Taking the short bus ride and getting off at your stop you head to the little cafe and find a place to sit for the two of you and set your things down. Pulling out your phone you let Mini know you are now at the cafe and wait for him to get there. She told you to keep her posted and to tell her if you go anywhere else and when you get home. Agreeing to her terms you let out a nervous yet excited breath and went up to the cash to grab something to nibble on while you waited.

Playing cats&soup while nibbling every once in a while, you didn’t pay attention to the ring of the bell when the door opens or how the person who just walked in took a quick look around before walking in your direction. You didn’t see how they stopped beside the table and removed their face mask. What did catch your attention though was when they said in a very familiar voice “hello your Y/U/N right?” when you looked up you couldn’t believe who stood in front of you and all you could muster to say was “ALYFT?”

#stray kids #skz x reader #bang chan x reader #lee know x reader #changbin x reader #hyunjin x reader #han jisung x reader #felix x reader #seungmin x reader #i.n x reader

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justsome-di · 2 years

Text

Nobody Ends Up Dead in a Bathtub, Everyone Keeps Their Organs (a very rough draft)

Without spoiling much, it's about the relationship between an escort and a secretary who accidentally meets up with him for an appointment. There is nothing graphic in this draft!

-----

Alex hadn’t been on a date since he was 18, and it had ended with Marry Ellen pouring her slushie over his shirt in the middle of the mall. He wasn’t sure what he had done wrong, but he figured right then and there that maybe dating wasn’t for him. And he had lived by that for the next 17 years.

When the day came that his co-workers told him that they had set him up with a friend, he thought maybe it was worth a chance. Andrew, Martin, and Stu were the only guys who had ever tried to talk to him, and Alex appreciated that a little bit. Even if the three of them were dicks. Even if Alex did secretly dub them The Office Douche Bags.

Beggars couldn’t be choosers when it came to friends, though. And even if they could, Alex didn’t know how to tell them to leave him alone.

“He’s so sweet and super cute,” Andrew said. “I mean, look at him.”

He leaned over Alex’s desk and showed him a single picture of the date in question. It looked like a semi-professional portrait. He was posing in front of a window in what looked like a bare apartment.

The man had short, curly hair. He had teeth that were unnaturally white, but they were straight. He showed them all in a wide smile. His clothes were tight, and his body was slim. Skinny, really. Alex thought he was pretty cute and assumed he was probably some aspiring actor—so, he was living a much more exciting life than Alex was at the moment.

Andrew insisted it was all taken care of. He apparently knew a waitress who had taken care of a dinner reservation. Andrew had even left his own credit card on file, saying he owed Marcus a favor from a while back so this was his repayment. Alex felt bad at first, but Andrew insisted. He really owed Marcus big time.

Setting him up with a guy was one half of the deal. Paying for the date was the other half. Really, it was all fine. The reservation was at Friday at 6 at some semi-bougie restaurant. Marcus would be expecting him, and it was important that Alex didn’t talk about work. There were other things to talk about.

Alex didn’t argue any further. He went home that Friday with his stomach in knots.

He tried making his hair look nice in the mirror. He tried using mousses and combs and pomade, but it just ended up looking like his normal flat hair. Eve leaned in the doorway of the bathroom and watched.

“How do I look?” he asked.

“I don’t care. I need to pee.”

She shoved him out of the way and into the living room of their minuscule one bedroom apartment.

“You look fine,” she yelled through the closed door.

Alex wished she wouldn’t talk to him while she peed, but there was nothing he could do about it. Her voice could be heard no matter where he was in the apartment.

“Thank you,” he shouted back.

“Who is this guy again?”

“His name is Marcus. I don’t know anything else.”

The toilet flushed, and the sink ran. Eve pulled the door open and stared him down. She had such a serious face for such a young woman. She always had. Even when she was a baby, she always looked at Alex with an expression that seemed to say she was tired of his bullshit. Her new undercut made her look all the more intimidating.

“He’s going to steal your kidney,” she said.

“What?”

“You can’t meet up with a total stranger at some restaurant. I was listening to this podcast the other day where this guy went on all these blind dates, but he would drug all the women once they starting to hook up, and he sold their kidneys on the black market.”

“First of all, he’s not a stranger. He’s a friend of a friend. And second of all, it won’t be like that. We’re just getting dinner. And no one actually steals kidneys.”

“Dude, I literally just listened to a podcast about it. You’re going to end up waking up in a bathtub full of ice.”

“I’m begging you to stop.”

“Share your location with me before you leave.”

Alex huffed about it, but he did pull out his phone and sent her a link to track him.

“If this works out, are you going to take him to that wedding?” she asked.

“I’m not thinking about that right now.” He had been planning on going solo, and he really didn’t want to put more thought into it than he had to. It was a long way away. “Wedding dates are serious.”

“The Halloween party at least?”

The Halloween party would be easy. He usually didn’t think about taking anyone because every year he showed up in a low-effort costume, took a handful of candy corn, drank a martini, and left without saying much of anything to anyone. Maybe it would be nice to go with someone for once.

“I’ll think about it,” Alex said. “Are you staying in tonight?”

“Don’t I always?”

“Sometimes you see friends.”

Eve flopped herself onto the beaten down pull-out couch that also served as her bed. There was a mason jar across the room that pocket change and spare dollars got shoved into every few weeks, intending to be savings to get her a new pull-out couch to sleep on. They had a total of $53.24 according to a sticky note on the side. Though, Alex was sure Eve had pulled a wad of dollars out to get pizza the night before, so it was hard to tell if that was an accurate number.

“I go to meetings,” she said. “I don’t think my fellow club members really consider me a friend.”

“They could be friends. You just have to, sort of, open up. Ask them to the dining hall or something after a meeting.”

“Eh. I’d rather not.”

“Then die alone. I was just going to remind you to lock the door if you go out.”

“Fuck off.”

Alex couldn’t really lecture her about making college friends. He never had college friends. He didn’t even really have friends at all. Just the Office Douche Bags.

But meeting with Marcus was making him a little optimistic. He might have finally been getting somewhere. If things went well with Marcus, who knew where it could lead? At the very least, Alex could have a new friend. At the very best, a boyfriend.

He donned his best jacket which was a 5-year-old pea coat that was pilling in the back and was no longer the dark black it had been when Alex’s mother bought it for him. It was a little too heavy for the weather. New York hadn’t plunged into the bitter cold winter yet, but it was just beginning to get a bit chilly. Regardless, it was Alex’s best coat, and he thought the occasion called for something a little dressy.

Leaving Eve alone with a video game, Alex walked to the restaurant early and sat at the reserved table alone.

Alex ordered two glasses of wine and right as they came, right when he began to worry that he would be sitting at the table alone all night, Marcus was led in by the hostess.

He was just as cute as he was in his picture. He wore a nice, burgundy sweater and tight jeans. Alex felt self-conscious about his slacks and button down. He could have chosen something a little more creative. Something that didn’t look like his usual work outfits.

Marcus smiled with his too-white teeth. He raised his shoulders as he sat like he was sheepish about the whole thing. All of his movements—the way he had grabbed the back of his chair to pull it out, the way he swept his hair back from his face, how he laid his chin in his hand to look at Alex—were so delicate and calculated.

Immediately, Alex knew that Marcus was out of his league. Marcus looked so great and was so graceful. He was put-together, and Alex was frumpy. And awkward.

But Marcus began talking to him like he definitely wasn’t out of his league, and that made Alex feel good about himself. And more importantly, he didn’t seem the type to steal a kidney. Unless the charisma was part of the kidney-stealing plan.

There was no kidney-stealing plan, Alex told himself. Eve was just getting in his head.

“Tell me about yourself.” Marcus swirled his wine around in his glass. Alex hoped he had made a good choice going with the cheapest option on the menu. He had hoped Marcus was also the type to drink cheap wine. “What do you like to do for fun?”

“Oh. Uh.” Alex didn’t do much. “Why don’t you tell me what you like to do?”

“Okay!” Marcus seemed all too happy to talk about himself. “I like going to shows when I can—musicals, I mean. And other plays. But mostly musicals. But I don’t get to do it all that much because it’s so expensive, you know?”

“Yeah.” Alex didn’t really know. He wasn’t a big fan of theater.

“So, usually I just do little things around the city,” Marcus went on. “I get coffee, I feed pigeons, I binge Netflix.”

Binging Netflix was a conversation Alex could handle. “What are you binging right now?”

“I am a Killer which is that one where they interview all those death row inmates about their crimes. And that Night Stalker documentary. I think it’s just called Night Stalker. Whatever it is, I’m like three episodes into it.”

“Ooh.” Maybe Alex wasn’t leaving with his kidneys. “Do you usually watch a lot shows about killers?”

“Yeah, I love them. I also listen to a lot of true crime podcasts.”

“Oh no.”

“I’m sorry?”

“I meant. Like. Oh no. Me too. Like in a good way. Like we’ll be here all night if we both start talking about it.”

Marcus smiled and delicately laid his chin on top of his laced fingers. Alex laughed uncomfortably. He was already ruining the night. Well-adjusted people could watch true crime. It was a billion-dollar business after all. Even Eve listened to murder podcasts on her walks to class.

“What do you like about true crime?” Alex asked.

“I like learning how to kill people.” Marcus laughed. “I’m just kidding!”

“I hope so! I really, really hope that you’re kidding!”

Alex rubbed his sweaty palms on his pants. He re-thought the well-adjusted thing as the waiter laid their plates in front of them. He liked both of his kidneys a lot. He wanted to keep them.

“If you really want to know.” Marcus cut a slice of grilled chicken on top of his salad to make it a daintier, bite-sized piece. He was great with knives it seemed. “I like true crime because I think there’s a lot of advocacy involved in it. You know, when the victims get a chance to have their stories told. Especially when the victims are women or people of color. Or when they talk about how the police are incompetent. And yeah, there’s some true crime that gets exploitive. But I think a lot of it is coming from a good place.”

“Yeah.” Alex nodded. His kidneys felt safe again. “I get that.”

“And you know, it’s important to be aware of who gets targeted and who doesn’t get investigated by police. Cause a lot of the time, police won’t really care if someone, like,” Marcus waved his hands in front of his face, “a Latino gay guy gets killed.”

“Right. Right. My sister always goes on about the whole Jeffrey Dahmer thing. Where the police just handed one of his victims back to him.”

Marcus threw his head back. “Don’t get me started on that one.”

But it was too late, and Marcus jumped into a spiel about how the police were willing to look the other way for white men, how it went back centuries, and how Ted Bundy wasn’t even that charismatic. Alex listened with more interest than he thought he would have. Usually when Eve went on her rants, Alex barely listened. He didn’t doubt anything she said, but she picked the worst times for her amateur TED Talks.

There was something about the way that Marcus talked about it all. His delicate hands emphasized his points, his face went through a dozen expressions that were all so handsome. He was so passionate about it, and it was so refreshing to hear someone talk about something other than fucking women or selling whatever to a record number of clients.

Marcus cut himself off rather abruptly. He finished his comment on how Jack the Ripper would have been caught if he hadn’t targeted sex workers, and then sighed. “I am talking way too much. You said you have a sister?”

“Yeah. Eve.”

“Aw. Eve’s such a cute name. Is she older?”

“Younger. She’s a sophomore in college.”

“Good for her. What’s her major?”

It was amazing how Marcus knew how to keep the conversation going when Alex let his side of it fizzle out like a dead firework.

“Computer science,” Alex said. “She’s really good at it. She got all of these awards her first year at school, and now her professors are trying to get into all of these nice internships next year.”

“That’s amazing!”

“She is flunking math right now, though.”

Marcus frowned. “Not amazing.”

“It’s a calculus class. It’s a whole thing. She says it’s not even all that important for her major—which I have no idea if that’s’ true or not—but it’s still a requirement, and she’s worried it’s going to tank her GPA.”

Marcus ran the tip of his finger over his wine glass. “What even is calculus?”

“No idea. I just know it makes her cry.”

“Poor thing. Can she get a tutor?”

“She’s tried, but the academic support center or whatever is only open when she’s in class or working. Her only free time is in the evenings.”

“That’s so unfair! They can’t do night tutoring?”

“Apparently not.” Alex drank the last of his wine. “But she’s smart. She’ll figure something out.”

“I’m sure she will. And it’s sweet that you’re so involved.”

“Eh, we share an apartment. I get to hear about all of her crises whether I want to or not.”

Something in Marcus’ face softened. He looked almost distracted. “You share an apartment?”

“Yeah, it’s cheaper for her to commute than to live on campus, and my apartment is close enough to her college that she can walk there. It just made sense for her to move in with me.”

“It does.”

“Do you have siblings?”

Marcus composed himself. He pulled his hands into his lap and straightened in his chair. “No. I’m an only child.”

“Sometimes I wish I was an only child.”

“Don’t say that. Eve sounds nice.”

Alex didn’t know how to find a way out of the dead-end response. Their meals were finished, and there was no check coming to give them a definitive end to dinner.

Marcus stretched his hand across the table, palm up. He smiled easily at Alex. Alex laid his hand in Marcus’, hoping it wasn’t sweaty or warm.

“Want to head upstairs for another drink?” Marcus asked.

Alex didn’t know what “upstairs” meant, but he agreed. There could have been a bar on the higher level of the hotel. Maybe a rooftop thing.

Marcus led him through the crowd of new guests being seated and nodded to the hostess at the front of the restaurant. He took Alex down the hall and into an elevator. The entire time, Marcus held his hand, rubbing his thumb over his knuckles.

It was the most touching Alex had had in years. It was a little pathetic, but he felt so relieved. He had finally met someone nice. He had finally found someone who seemed interested in him. Someone willing to touch him. The little touches meant so much whether or not Marcus knew it or not.

The elevator doors opened and revealed a row of doors. Alex followed Marcus out, a little fear creeping up in his stomach. He realized, as Marcus pulled out a key card from his pocket, that “upstairs” meant a hotel room.

But maybe it wouldn’t be all bad. Alex supposed he didn’t know if Marcus was from the city or not. He could have just been visiting and was staying in that hotel. It didn’t necessarily mean he had just gotten a room for a hook up.

The room smelled like a mix of cheap air freshener and laundry detergent. It was icy cold, and Marcus wished he could have slid his jacket on. When Marcus flipped on the lights, and when Alex’s eyes adjusted, he saw the room was small with one bed and a bathroom close by.

The door settled heavily into its frame and locked. Alex stayed close to it, his fingers touching the thick wood behind his back.

Marcus laid his hand on Alex’s hip, right under his belt. He kept smiling even as he leaned in and kissed Alex.

It was all so forward. Alex should have mentioned something earlier.

Marcus pulled him away from the door and towards the bed. It was only a few steps, and then they were sitting together, Marcus getting handsier with every second. Alex sat frozen.

Marcus must have noticed how stiff he was because he leaned back and moved his hands from Alex’s legs and waist to his hair.

“Nervous?” he asked. He sounded so sweet still. Alex didn’t want to ruin anything for him.

“I’m just not used to this, I think.”

Marcus nodded. “It’s okay. How do you want to do this?”

“Um. I don’t. I don’t know.”

“I can lead if you want.”

“I don’t think I know what’s happening.”

Marcus stroked Alex’s hair with one hand and looked at his watch. He sighed. “I don’t want to rush you or kill the mood, but you only have about an hour left, and I don’t give refunds.”

“Wait. Wait. Wait.” Alex swept Marcus’ hands aside. “What do you mean?”

The sweet, caring look Marcus had was gone. He looked equally confused. “You paid for two hours? And I explicitly told you there’s a no-refund policy. You are Alex, right? I’m not with the wrong client?”

“Client?”

And all of a sudden, it hit Alex like a brick to the face. There was no luggage in the room. Marcus was very eager to get Alex in bed. No-refund policies.

Alex screamed, “Oh my god!” and shot up off the bed and backed himself up in a corner.

Marcus also began screaming and pulled his legs onto the bed.

“What?” Marcus yelled. “What is it?”

“Are you a prostitute?”

“I’m—“ Marcus lowered his voice. “I’m an escort. Aren’t you my client?”

“No!”

Marcus’ face turned grey, and his body deflated. His eyes turned from Alex to the floor in horror.

“I mean.” Alex held out a shaking hand. He tried speaking quietly. “I was set up to go on a date for you, but I didn’t pay for it. My friend told me you were a friend of his, and this was just supposed to be a date. Like a real date. I didn’t know it was—a—a business transaction.”

“Oh my god. Okay. I got a message from you saying you wanted an appointment, and now that I’m sitting here I’m realizing I really need a better screening process for my clients. I thought you were acting really weird, and I just thought it was part of the experience you wanted.”

Alex was in full panic mode. He had unknowingly played a part in soliciting a prostitute. He could get fired. He could get arrested. He was most definitely not talking to the Douche Bags ever again.

He really thought he had made a real connection with someone, and it turned out that it was all fake. Marcus had been paid. He wasn’t real. Never mind getting arrested, Alex hadn’t been on a date at all. The charming, nice man he thought liked him was just part of an act. His chest ached. His stomach sunk.

But more importantly, Marcus was staring at him like a deer in headlights. And Alex thought about how scary the situation must have been for him.

“I’m going to leave,” Marcus said.

“Wait. Hold on.” Marcus hadn’t even begun to move. “I just want you know that I won’t tell anyone.”

“Okay.”

“Like, I support legalizing sex work and all that.”

“Uh.”

“Everything you were saying at dinner about sex workers being pushed aside in society and ignored, I agree with all that. It’s awful. I think you deserve rights.”

“Are you just going to keep telling me how progressive you are?”

“Yes.” Alex held up a finger. “Because I want you to know that you’re safe.”

“Insisting that I’m safe while you’re backed into a dark corner doesn’t make me feel all that safe. You should know people know where I am, and they know your name and where you work—I mean, if any of that was real. I don’t know anymore.”

“I’m sorry. But really, I don’t want to get you arrested or anything. Can I just ask a few questions? Like who’s impersonating me to solicit prostitutes? And how do I stop that from happening again?”

Marcus perched himself on the very edge of the bed. He looked Alex up and down and nodded.

“Only if you stop calling me a prostitute,” Marcus said.

“Yeah! What do you prefer to be called?”

Marcus held his shoulders high and lifted his chin. “I’m an escort and a sex worker.”

“Okay. Can we figure out, together, what happened that someone hired an escort as me? Because I genuinely had no idea you were an escort. I really did think this was a real date. And I have a hunch about who impersonated me.”

Marcus nodded again. “Things like this happen more often than you might think.”

“I can only imagine.” Alex slowly approached Marcus again and, not wanting to loom over him, sat on the bed, leaving plenty of space between them. He pulled out his phone. “These are the texts I got from my friend Andrew. He said he set up the date between us.”

The reservation is at 6. My card is already on file. Don’t worry about paying.

Don’t forget what he looks like ;)

And below was the picture of Marcus.

“Yeah, that’s me,” Marcus said. “That’s my picture on my profile.”

He pulled out his own phone and opened an app Alex had never seen before.

“This is supposed to be you,” he said.

He showed Alex a series of messages. They were all very professional. Back and forth about meeting, reservations, and a Venmo transaction. There was a picture of Alex, taken straight from his LinkedIn profile which was also linked in the messages. There was even a picture of Alex’s state ID, probably taken from files somewhere at work. Stu, after all, worked in human resources. It would have been easy to get any information needed.

It was horrifying how easily the Douche Bags had impersonated him. It was violating and humiliating and scary. It was illegal! Alex could have reported them, and they would lose their jobs. But that would be potentially dangerous for Marcus, and Alex didn’t want Marcus mixed up in anything that could get him in trouble. If he did snitch, his bosses could report it, and Marcus could be found, and he’d get arrested.

“So, there are these guys I work with,” Alex said, feeling so shocked and scared now that his skin was numb. “And they said they were setting me up on a blind date with someone they knew. But it was all a prank, and they set me up with a pros—an escort. Without you knowing about it either. But all that information they gave you is real. That’s where I work and where I live.”

“Okay, listen.” Marcus locked his phone and shoved back into his tight jeans. “I can’t say something like this happened before. Your friends were thorough. I’m just glad we got everything sorted out before anything more serious happened. And I’m glad you didn’t flip out—okay, you kind of flipped out. But it could have been worse.”

And Marcus smiled, and Alex couldn’t help the wave of heartbreak that washed over him. Marcus wasn’t real. All the smiles had been paid for. His date hadn’t been real. He was still alone and date-less, and to make it all worse, he knew the Douche Bags were probably laughing at him right about now.

He was pissed. He was mourning. He was feeling every emotion possible.

He couldn’t help it. He started crying. He pressed his palms into his eyes and tried so hard to not make a scene. But his nose started running, and his breath was getting short and gaspy.

“Oh no,” Marcus cooed.

Alex felt him stand and heard him move across the carpet. When Alex felt the bed dip again with his weight, he looked up. Marcus offered him a box of thin, scratchy hotel tissues. His hands shook while he held out the box. Alex wanted to steady them, lay his own hands over them until the last of the fear was out of him.

“I’m sorry,” Marcus said. “I’m sorry they did this to you.”

Alex pulled a few tissues out of the box and wiped his eyes and nose as discreetly and politely as he could.

“I feel dumb,” Alex said.

“No! Don’t! If anyone is dumb, it’s me. I should have made sure the account was legit. I should have asked for a picture of you holding a newspaper. Like what hostage victims do.”

Alex laughed a little. Just a little. “They could have asked me to pose for it, and I would have.”

“Okay, well, then I’ll have to think of something else.”

Marcus put his hand on Alex’s back, and Alex wished he wouldn’t. It felt so nice.

“I don’t think escorts are supposed to comfort people like this,” Alex said.

“I’ve actually comforted a lot of crying clients before. It’s my job. I’m a professional companion. And you still have me for an hour.”

“I’ll try to pull myself together within an hour.”

“You better. If not, I’m still leaving. I don’t do overtime.”

Alex laughed again.

“And I do have plans at 9. My brother and I have a very serious night of Netflix binging planned.”

“Brother? You said you were an only child.”

“I lied. I lie about everything to clients. Just in case someone ends up being crazy and follows me home or something.”

“Oh god.” Alex wiped his nose. “I’m just curious. How dangerous is it being an escort?”

Marcus sighed. “Pretty dangerous? It depends. Sometimes nights end like this. They’re fine. Sometimes, I get nervous.”

He didn’t elaborate, and Alex didn’t push.

“But more often than not, people are just looking for someone to spend a night with,” Marcus said. “And it ends pretty well. Sometimes there’s sex, sometimes we just go out. And there’s been plenty of crying.”

“Are you just trying to make me feel better?”

Marcus rubbed Alex’s back. It was very soothing.

“A couple of years ago,” Marcus said, “I had an older client. I think he was in his late 60s. And his wife had died that same week.”

“Oh my god.”

“He just wanted someone to sit with him. His house was so empty, he said. He just wanted someone to eat dinner with and watch the news with. And he told me all about her. She was a teacher, they had traveled together, they had volunteered at an animal shelter when they both retired. He cried a lot telling me about her.

“They didn’t have any kids, so it was just him left. He was lonely. The funeral had been earlier that day, and he didn’t want to cry alone that night. And I just sat with him. I made him tea. I offered him tissues.”

“That’s really nice of you.”

Marcus shrugged. “Sometimes I get clients like that.”

“But you must have helped him.”

“I guess. Maybe. When I left, I said I hoped he would be okay. But I never heard from him again.”

Alex was feeling a little better. At least he wasn’t a widower.

“You’re like a therapist,” Alex said.

“Not at all. I’m just a companion.” Marcus took a fresh tissue from the box and dabbed below Alex’s eyes. “I take care of people’s social needs, that’s all.”

Alex smiled, genuinely. He did feel like he was being taken care of. Marcus smiled back. It seemed like Marcus had calmed down. His hands had steadied.

“There we go.” Marcus wadded up the tissue and left it on the duvet. “Feeling better?”

“Not a lot.”

“Well, you still have a little under an hour, and your co-worker isn’t getting that money back. And we have wine that’s already been paid for.”

Marcus poured two glasses of wine while Alex tried drying up the rest of his tears and snot and throwing the tissues away so the unfortunate housekeepers wouldn’t have to pull them off the bed and floor the next morning.

Alex watched Marcus’ delicate hands offer him a wine glass, fingers wrapped around the stem.

“It really is okay,” Marcus said. “You can keep crying.”

“I don’t want to cry. It feels like it’d give them too much satisfaction.”

“Do you mind me asking why you even trusted them enough in the first place? They don’t seem like they’re your friends.”

“They’re the closest things I have to friends.”

“Aww. They really took advantage of you.”

“Yeah. Maybe I’m just too naive.”

“I don’t think this makes you naive. I just think you were letting yourself be vulnerable and open to a first date. It’s admirable. They just fucked you over.”

“I don’t know how I’m supposed to look at them on Monday. They’re probably expecting me to come in absolutely mortified.”

Marcus laughed a little. “You could be like, ‘It was such a nice night. Thanks for arranging it. Give Marcus a nice review for me. Hope you tipped him well.’”

“God, no.”

“Or just plead ignorance. Tell them you had a great date and you think you want to see me again. Pretend like you never picked up on the fact I was an escort.”

“They would shit themselves.”

“Then do it! Don’t let them think they’ve won this.”

Maybe it was two glasses of wine talking, but Alex didn’t think that was a half-bad idea. They didn’t deserve the satisfaction of knowing how poorly Alex felt that night.

“What if,” he said, “I do tell them that.”

“Do it.”

“And I maybe hire you again some night? But make it look like it’s a real date?”

“You want to hire me to pretend to be your boyfriend for people who know I’m an escort?”

“Think it’ll work?”

“I have no idea. I’ve never been asked that before.”

“It would be one more date.”

“As long as you pay, I don’t care what you have planned.”

“It doesn’t go against any moral code to trick people?”

Marcus raised his eyes to the ceiling and pressed his lips together. “I guess,” he said, “if no one is getting hurt, it’s okay. It wouldn’t be any different than me showing up to banquets pretending to be someone’s partner, would it? You’re not going to plan something malicious?”

“No.” Alex laid his wine glass down on the nightstand. He stood and began pacing, wrapping his arms around himself. “I think if we could do one believable date, they’d buy it. And then I say it didn’t work out for some totally normal reason.”

“But how are they even going to know about the date?”

“Good point.”

Marcus put his chin in his hands and leaned on his knees. He watched Alex’s short walk from one side of the hotel room to the next. He had such large, beautiful eyes, Alex thought. Such a shame.

“Do you have any parties?” Marcus asked.

“Not any coming up.”

“Not even an office party?”

Alex turned on his heel toward Marcus. “There’s a Halloween party in two weeks. Think you can pencil me in?”

“Is it on Halloween?”

“Yes. It starts at, like, 7.”

“I’ll have to double-check, but I think it’ll work. I try not to schedule anything on Halloween because it’s my brother’s and I’s favorite holiday, but I’ll make an exception this year.”

“Oh. Well, thank you. You don’t really have to do that.”

“No, it’s fine. I have a feeling Leo isn’t going to be up for much this year.”

“Leo’s your brother?”

The soft look he momentarily had over dinner returned. “Yeah.”

Alex sat back down. “Younger?”

“Yeah. He’s a senior in college. He’s applying to a lot of grad schools, and deadlines are coming up.” When Marcus talked about Leo, his voice was gentle, and he tucked his body into itself. “He might want me out of the apartment anyway so he can get work done.”

“You guys live together?”

“Yeah. Same deal with you and your sister. He can commute if he lives with me.” Marcus gently jabbed Alex in the side with his elbow. “Guess we have some things in common.”

They poured another glass of wine for each of them and relaxed a little into the bed. Marcus rested on his side, propping himself up on his elbow.

“Leo’s really smart,” he said.

He began telling stories of Leo, how he was always great at solving problems when he was a kid. He was in his high school’s honor society, he graduated with honors, he got a great scholarship to college. And now he had an astounding GRE score but was worried about finding a way to pay for his masters and all of the application fees.

It was unfair that someone so smart and who worked so hard was afraid of being able to afford school. Any school would be lucky to have him, but there was trying to pick up extra hours at work so he could at least let the schools know he existed.

Of course, Marcus said, he was trying to help him pay for everything. He had covered the cost of the GRE for him as a birthday gift, and he was hoping Leo would let him pay for at least a few applications. Marcus was picking up extra clients whenever he could to try to get enough money together. He was always trying to take care of Leo.

He didn’t let Leo pay any rent. Alex sheepishly admitted he had asked Eve to pitch in for some of the bills. Marcus told him different strokes for different folks. The city was expensive, and it was hard to make rent on one’s own.

Alex told Marcus all about how Eve worked in a bookstore and loved it, but she was also looking to do a little freelance with computer science. There were lots of little projects people needed help with, and she could do a lot from the apartment. It would bring in a lot more money than working as a cashier.

It wasn’t like they weren’t in the middle of the largest city in the country. Marcus pointed out the kids would have better opportunities in the future. Alex agreed. There was a lot for them out there.

Marcus loved Leo dearly, Alex could tell. And he felt bad about thinking that Marcus was going to steal a kidney. Marcus was clearly a sweet man. He could have stayed all night in that hotel room, just talking about siblings and the city. He wished the date had been real. He was sure he would have taken Marcus somewhere for a talk. Maybe coffee. Maybe it could have been very romantic. And the potential for that romance would eat away at Alex forever.

He wanted to stay up all night with Marcus.

But he only had that one hour. How much was even left? The bedside table clock was unplugged, and Alex dreaded checking his phone for the time.

“Shit,” Alex said. “I’m sorry. It’s 8:45. Shouldn’t this have ended 45 minutes ago?”

Marcus shrugged. “You didn’t get the full service tonight, so I think it’s fair you got an extra 45 minutes. I don’t have any other clients tonight.”

“Yeah, but you have that Netflix binge.”

“Oh. Right.” Marcus pulled out of his phone. “Leo will probably be wondering what’s happening if I stay at this hotel any longer.”

“Does he track your location?”

“’Course. If I end up dead, he’ll know exactly what bathtub my body was dumped in.”

“My sister made me turn on my location in case you stole my kidneys.”

“Smart girl. I listened to a podcast about that.”

“God. You two would get along well.”

Alex didn’t want to stand up from the bed, but Marcus got to his feet. He raised his arms above his head and arched his back in a satisfying stretch. His sweater and dress-shirt lifted, and Alex saw a little sliver of his stomach. There was a little trail of dark hair above his belt. Alex loved little happy trails on men, but he had never seen one in person.

“Here.” Marcus took the hotel’s pad and pen off the nightstand. “I don’t do this for a lot of clients, but since I apparently have a security issue on the app, I’m giving you one of my phone numbers.”

“One of?”

“Yeah, I use one of those messaging apps that gives you a number that’s different than your actual number.”

“Clever.”

“Thank you.” Marcus tore off the paper and handed it to Alex. “Text me when you want to make plans for that party. I’ll send you prices, and I’m going to make you go through my whole security process again. No offense, but since you technically haven’t been through it yet, I’d like to make sure I have all your real information.”

“Yeah. Sure.”

They left their empty wine glasses on a dresser. Alex’s head was a little light, a little fuzzy. He followed Marcus through the cramped room, watching the back of his head. Marcus ruffled the curls, letting them come a little loose after pulling at them.

Marcus opened the door for Alex. He paused in the hallway for Marcus to make sure the door had locked behind them before taking the dreaded steps away from the room.

“If it counts for anything,” Marcus said, “I had a very nice night.”

“Even though I cried?”

“I told you.” Marcus lowered his voice. “People cry. It’s fine.”

“If you’re sure.”

Marcus called an elevator but didn’t move when the doors opened. He gestured for Alex to enter. Alex figured that they were parting there, that their night together was over. Finally.

“I’ll text you with the details,” he said.

“Sounds good.”

Alex stepped into the elevator. When the doors began to close, Marcus threw his hand out to stop them.

“Some of my clients know,” he said, “my name’s not Marcus. It’s Damián. That’s my honest-to-god name.”

“Damián. That’s a nice name.”

“I’m trusting you with it, Alex.”

“You can trust me.”

After all, Damián hadn’t taken his kidneys. Alex could return the favor and keep his name close to his chest.

Damián smiled one last time, showing his too-white teeth. The doors closed between them.

#long post #Nobody Ends Up Dead in a Bathtub Everyone Keeps Their Organs #Nobody Ends Up Dead #my writing #writblr #writeblr #writing community #original writing

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