#listen. if being high causes me to binge eat fruit i feel like that’s a win overall

[fingertipsmp3]

I was going to take a tolerance break starting today but I have some grapes that need eating and there’s no way I’m devouring half a thing of grapes sober

[honestsycrets]

Say Your Piece II: Heart Breaker

❛ pairing | hvitserk x reader, hvitserk x ?

❛ type | double triple? shot, mistakes were made au

❛ chp summary | after the reader says she doesn’t want hvitserk; he makes a bad decision. it gets worse from there.

❛  tags | plus size reader, verbal arguments, extreme social anxiety, extreme body insecurity, drinking, hateful words, illustrator hvitserk x writer reader, mention of infidelity, shame, OCs, sexual frustration, blackmail, cheating mentioned, verbal abuse, sexual blackmail, poor communication? it’s more likely than you think. tags to be added.

❛ request | So Hvitserk request (you a asked for it 😂) Remember the Little Lovers event and the self-conscient plus size reader who didn’t want to have sex ?Well I didn’t get the sex lol. I want my Hvitserk to show a woman how her body is enjoyable. Thank you 😊 for @alicedopey

❛ sy’s note | i’ll eventually get you your sex scene, DAMN IT.

He wakes with a blaring headache caused by a stream of fresh morning light against his soft cheek. He pulls his arms around you-- or, what he thought was you, as the moment he does so, he knows it’s wrong. Where soft folds and overflowing breasts were, he finds thin limbs and small breasts.

It’s not your body-- he realizes all at once. The high rise apartment that overlooked the city wasn’t, either. It was the fruit of an accomplished older woman, whose many books hovered on a white shelf beside a white bed. Everything in the room holds the same pure standard. He flings himself from the bed, his naked ass colliding with a nightstand. The items ripple over the surface and settle into new positions. The woman pushes up, dragging the painfully monochrome white fluffy sheet to cover her flat chest. 

“Hvitserk?” 

Erika, in all her sharp-eyed glory, stares right back at him. Vomit spins up his throat, incited by the affection by with her eyes considered him. Hvitserk scrambles over the perfectly plain hardwood floors, upchucking up what’s left of his agitated stomach after his pathetic night out on the town. 

“Hvitserk!” 

Her spindly hand is at his back. Ordinarily, she was a comfort in your absence. That despite her pushing, and pushing, and pushing to get your name off “his” book, she would always be there for him in ways that a lover could not. Author-illustrators make so much more than being an illustrator alone, she reminded him. Her considerate words now feel like measured steps against his relationship. Her touch rips his skin into gooseflesh. Hvitserk works his shoulder away, his knuckles becoming white around the bowl.

“You drank too much last night.” it’s a non-question. Obviously, if he were here, he had. He groans his miserable response into the toilet bowl, wishing he could smother himself in the water, as it would be a better punishment than anything his girlfriend could do to him. “I’ll make you some coffee.” 

Her steps become distant echoes. When he finishes and cleans after himself, he starts his search for his clothes. He picks them from a singular pile, draws them back on, and reaches for his phone. It bleats a miserable eight percent battery life.

“She didn’t call if that’s what you’re thinking.”

Ericka stands in a silvery slip; although he’s not sure when she put on some clothes. She hands him his cup of coffee and takes a seat on her “divorce couch”, a plain grey chair that she scammed her ex-husband out of. As she sits there, all long limbs, and purposefully sultry clothes-- the guilt strikes him.

Hvitserk takes a sip of bitter, burnt black coffee. She’s never been a great coffee maker but her heart is in the right place. It wouldn’t feel right to snuff her. After all, he probably spent the night before buried in her cunt. 

“You called me to pick you up at the bar last night. You were so drunk all you wanted to do was lay on my chest,” Ericka pulls a sheer black kimono over her thin collarbones. His eyes fall on her hands. “I told you she’d break your heart. Women like that-- once they get over a certain weight-- they aren’t emotionally available to do anything but eat. It consumes them.” 

“She ain’t like that.”

“If she’s not like that, then why did you have sex with me? Be honest with yourself, Hvitserk. Your needs aren’t met with her. That’s why you needed me.” 

His mouth runs dry. Like he’s been chewing on his regret as if it were paper. He couldn’t remember the night before. It was like a bad memory he never wanted to recover. Hvitserk glances down to his cup as he sinks onto her bed. 

“It was an accident,” he glares at the surface. “I- You know I can’t be with you, right? You’re--” 

“Old?” she asks. He’s never cared about something as simple as that. Twelve years his senior or not, it wasn’t an issue.

“It’s not that. C’mon Erika, you know I don’t give a shit about age. She’s my baby girl.” 

“You’re going to stay with her? A woman like that?” 

“Like what?” Hvitserk sets the coffee on the nightstand as he snaps at her before he could bite it back. He knew what she meant. Erika’s long ranging sigh reminds him of Aslaug. How tenderly her hands would wrap around him even though they were truly tainted with alcohol perfuming off her breath. 

“I’ve been your agent for years Hvitserk. We go through this every time you find a girl. This oen is by far the worst. She doesn’t care about you. Look at all that work you did for her yesterday. The pendant you bought her. The work you’ve put into her books! You even pick up all the food she eats. She won’t go outside of her house and you still expect that she’ll suddenly become this fat trophy wife on your arm.” 

“Just because she’s fat don’t--” 

“It isn’t about the fat, Hvitserk.  How many times does she have to show you, or tell you for you to get the picture through your stupid head, huh? She doesn’t want you! And you have the balls to call me a fucking accident.” 

“Erika--” 

She leaps up from her chair. Hvitserk sucks in a hard breath and tries to find sense through the nonsense, looking through his phone. Erika was right. You hadn’t sent a message. Not in his texts, not on his social media. More egregiously, he spots a new post. Ericka’s hands fold over his, pushing him back to sit on the bed. She slides over his thin hips and takes a seat on his empty lap. It was painfully simple, painfully domestic, and painfully wrong.

“Let me tell you what I’ve learned in forty years,” Erika whispered in his ear. Her thin lips move, gliding like butter in his ear. “If someone doesn’t want you, there’s nothing you can do to change that.” Her fingers comb through his hair, like slimy tendrils. “But I’m here.” 

Hvitserk tips his head nack, gazing at the ceiling. Her palm caresses his scruffy jawline to drag his attention from the ceiling to her soft blue eyes, a painless depth, if only he would listen to her words. Hvitserk shifts her back on the bed, loitering around her waist with a supportive hand on the base of her back.

“I know you care ‘bout me. I just-- need some time, okay?” 

It doesn’t slip him that she’s scowling as he walks out of her home. There was someone he could count upon, when things were difficult, his phone buzzing in his palm reminded him of that. 

“Hey, Ivar.” 

Or, maybe not.

“You fucked her?” Ivar stopped chewing his pastry, ambling his head one way then another, laughing against himself. He took his mug of properly brewed coffee to his lips. Hvitserk regrets agreeing to meet him at the cafe. “What were you thinking sleeping with your agent?”

“I wasn’t thinking! I was drunk--” Hvitserk set his hand to his forehead. He has no appetite as he cycled through what he had done, searching out the moment that he called Erika. He fails to locate anything but quiet sobbing behind the neck of a beer bottle and a distant, squeamish feeling of fingers down his nape. “I think she took advantage of me.” 

Ivar sets down his cup of coffee, picking up a fork and knife as he leaned over the table, lips punctuating each word. 

“Yes, well, I am sure that will go over with your girlfriend well. I’m sorry, I slept with my skinny, well-established agent who has been wanting me to get rid of you. That bitch has been after you for years. What do you think she will do now? She won’t let you go.”

“She understands,” he reflects at the monochrome crowd. His plate is full but has gone cold with his lack of appetite. Normally, this was the place he came with his brother to binge breakfast and muse about women. Ubbe wouldn’t care about his issues: he never had time for anyone but himself. Not really. Ivar scoffed, gazing into the foot traffic flitting by their cafe. 

“Tch, I’m sure she does. She will probably break up with you.” 

He bobbed his head.

“I think she already has.” 

A normal man would come to beg. 

But Hvitserk draws in the deep quiet of the park. With only the barks of dogs, the giggles of children, and the occasional frequency from couples watching movies in the park, it’s a place of solace by the small pond. 

He starts with an outline of Xiao’s small face. It’s a rough outline, budding and ready to be kissed with by watercolours. Soft pinks like petals of peonies droop in his photo. He must have blended this shade wrong. Line after line that he sweeps, he weeps. His phone jingles in his pocket and his heart tightens around his chest like a straight jacket to someone in an insane asylum. He must be going crazy-- if he too can no longer paint.

“Where are you?!” you boom on the other end of the line. Hvitserk fumbles his phone, suckling in a breath. Had Ivar told you? No, his brother wouldn’t. Not Ivar. He was never a gossiper. 

“In-- in the park?” 

“What has gotten into you? You could have at least texted me to tell me you were okay. I was worried sick!” 

You? Worried sick? This wasn’t the you from yesterday. The one that pelted out how selfish he was for craving intimacy. The one that told him that all he wanted was to sexualize you. As if he were some sixty year old pervert with a camera in hand to click a picture of under your beautiful pastel skirts. Hvitserk sets the brushes into his cup of water and sets aside Xiao’s painting to dry.

“Hvitserk!” 

“I’m here,” he blurts out. “I didn’t think you’d care. You didn’t call.” 

“Like I didn’t I call you all night.” 

Something cracks, deep in his belly. With all the days of work he’d done for you and you alone, he forgot himself in the mix. He jerked his phone back, frantically looking at his phone app. No recent calls meant what they meant. When he finds nothing, it only thrusts him into a further rage. 

“Bullshit,” he belts out. “You didn’t. You didn’t care about me last night. You never fuckin’ do.” 

“Hvit--” he turns off his phone. There was a sliver of a moment in which he regrets that on the basis of last night. Maybe you rejected him, but he wasn’t an idiot. A man simply didn’t cheat on his girlfriend because she said no. 

He packs up his bag and heads toward the football field. It’s time to play football.

He smashes Ubbe on the field. If he wasn’t at peace with being an illustrator, maybe he could have been a ballplayer. Flipping the ball from foot to foot with Ubbe on his trailing his tail was fun, but watching him try and miss as he thwacked the ball on its net was even better. Unlike Ubbe’s well-proportioned body, he’s all long limbs and quick feet. Just the right combination to slip out of Ubbe’s grasp. Well, that was, until Ubbe tackled his ass onto the blades of grass, sending the both of them rolling through the grasp.

“Bro, really?!” Hvitserk laughs, dropping back onto the grass. The skid marks on his clothes would be unreal. 

“If I can’t catch you,” Ubbe heaves, digging his hand into his pocket. He finds his phone there, vibrating with messages from Torvi: probably. Hvitserk shoves his arms behind his neck, drawing out breath after ragged breath. 

“Wanna go eat?” 

“Na,” Ubbe shoves himself onto your feet. “Your girl is here.”

His what? Ubbe rushes off. A sinking feeling came over his clammy hands. He opens his mouth to beg him not to go, to take him along with like he used to as a child. He’s terrible at making up and hours ago, he’d hung up on you. His lips press together, soothing himself with the false pretense that-- no, it would be fine. If you didn’t apologize, perhaps neither would he. 

He finds you on the other side of the soccer field, fashioning his favorite sundress. There’s something glamorous about its corset bodice and its draped sleeves that left him breathless. He wills down his terrible arousal, drawn to the pendant he bought you nestled between your large breasts. You wait for him by his things, pulling the rim of a broad pale hat and looking down at beautiful chunky nude heels. 

You’re beautiful and terrifying all in one. He regains himself enough to make his legs solidify from the liquidy mass they were seconds ago. He might feel much like a newborn calf falling over himself to get his things, but perhaps he looked better than he felt. Women like sweaty, stupid men, right?

“What are you doing here?” he picks up his things. “I thought you didn’t like to be seen in public.”

“You hung up on me,” you hold his tablet flush against your dress and offer it out to him. He takes it and secures it back in his bag. “I had to come to find you.” 

“Yeah? I’ll bet.” Hvitserk wills down the painful throbbing behind his joggers, pulling his bag to obscure the pain he was in. The sooner he went home, the sooner he could jerk himself off without the overwhelming guilt of being, as he was, a whore. Why couldn’t he stay mad? He wanted to stay mad! “You look... nice. Never seen you looking so nice. What’s the occasion?” 

“You like it?” You pull out the skirt and stop to do a twirl that he curses himself for stopping for. Normally, his girl wouldn’t even go outside. Who was this? He’s aware of others watching-- the fat girl in a flashy dress. “I wore it for you.”

“Yeah, I do.” He moistens his lips, his voice raspy and thick. “Looks like an angel.” 

“Does that mean you’ll come back home?” You reach out for him. Your soft hands winding around his well-corded arm. He realizes then, the confidence in which you carried yourself masked the desperation in your hands. They trembled over his bicep. “I’ll be good, I promise I won’t yell at you again like that. I wouldn’t even be mad if you-- you found someone else to fuck. I know you-- I know you need it. If you can’t get it from me, I can wait on the side. As long as you’re not in love.”

“Hey,” he softened, settling his hand atop of yours. He stops midstep, turning on his high tops on the sidewalk. He takes your hands and listens waits for your outpouring of emotion. Traffic passes by him. They speak in hushed whispers. “Hey, hey, hey. Baby girl wait-- that’s not -- what are you talking about?”

“I didn’t mean it. I didn’t mean to yell at you like that but you were pushing and pushing and wouldn’t stop! I didn’t know what to do. I want to have sex with you,” you squeeze his fingertips. “But you don’t know what it’s like to be fat, old virgin.” 

He was trying to listen. He really was. The moment you spoke that word: that v-word, his mind went blank and numb. You’re still talking long after he’s stopped listening. Hvitserk sucks in a breath: it sends him into a flurry, pursuing the bone of your virginity long after you’ve stopped talking.

“What do you--” his lips twitch, drawing in a smile. “--mean a virgin?” 

“I haven’t had sex-- I… I wanted to--” 

His girl-- a virgin. He wants to smile, if not for the knowledge of the other night, waking up in Erika’s itchy sheets. Hvitserk knows that he has to tell you, he only doesn’t know how. You’re talking again. 

“What did you say?” he asks. 

“I want you to do it,” you answer. “Right now. Just forgive me.” 

He about drops, a moistness coming over his mouth that he can’t-- exactly-- help. His palms feel just as hot, sweating as he pulls them free from yours. Clearing his throat, he slips his hand against the small of your back. 

“Na, let’s… let’s take it easy. We’ll talk ‘bout it later.” 

He wants that virginity. 

But logically, oh woe is he, he knows it’s not really right to take someone’s virginity if they’re not all there. You’re not all there because you don’t know of that night. It’s like, consent, right? Bad consent was just jerking your ankle like some Viking and dragging you into bed with him. If he was going to do it, he told himself, you had to know what he’d done. 

It was a slip-up. 

Hvitserk finished another drawing for his new book independent of your input. It was a children’s book about good bodies-- because as he looked at your good body, he was reminded of Ericka’s cruel words. He wanted to do better for lil kids.

“Hvitserk, your phone is ringing,” you said pointedly from across the room where you sat like a madwoman. Your frantic papers sat nestled around a basket of shared chicken he made for lunch. 

“Huh?” Tapping over, he recognizes Erika’s photo, planting a kiss on his cheek on his first big break. She had been the first one to really believe in him. It was a long time ago now, he reminds himself to change that to something more… suitable after last night. He gestures his fingers at you. “Thanks, baby girl.”

He answers the phone. The moment he does, he hears Erika’s flat voice snaking into a hiss. It’s a noise that he hasn’t heard. Not in all his years of having her as his patient agent. 

“You’re with her, aren’t you?” 

“No, I’m uh-- with Ubbe.” He throws you a glance. You tilt your head, he shakes his, and that’s the terrible loneliness of holding a secret. “Erika--” Hvitserk sighs, parting his lips to talk. She shushes him with such severity that he thinks she’s trying to lop his head off, too. 

“Break it off.” 

“What?”

He steps outside and leans against the cold metal door separating the high-rise apartments from, well, the outside world. He expects to see her standing out there. All he finds are the many cars parked on the street and the stillness of movement. It’s too quiet. The whistle of the wind through the street chills him. 

“I know you’re with her. I can tell her for you if you’d like.” 

“No. Don’t--” Hvitserk sighs, searching for the words in the silence. “I don’t think you understand. We worked through it.” 

She laughs something from deep in her belly at him.

“I wasn’t asking. Either you do it— or I’ll make you do it. You obviously don’t know what’s best for yourself. Why else are you fucking around with some--” He collapses on the stairs, cradling the phone to his ear as she goes on. “Don’t think I won’t expose her for what she is. A thief.”

“She’s never-- Why the fuck are you doing this?”

“You told me you would take care of it. Something you’ve failed to do-- I should have known you couldn’t do it. ”

“If this shit is about yesterday--” 

“I’ll give you one more chance to break it off if you come over tonight.” 

“Are you blackmailing me?” There’s a pause on the other line. Then a chuckle. A long winded, painful chuckle. He should have known better. That night-- calling it an accident wasn’t exactly tolerable for a woman like Erika. She wasn’t the kind of woman who could be easily ignored.

“If that’s what I have to do.” 

 He chokes out a sob. Ivar was right. She wasn’t going to let him go.

“Fuckin’-- fuckin’ fine.” 

@punkrocknpearls​ @flowers-in-your-hayr @tephi101 @alicedopey​ @supernaturalvikingwhore @tootie-fruity @titty-teetee @queen-see-ya-in-valhalla @ethereallysimple @deathbyarabbit @deathbyarabbit @readsalot73 @natalie-rdr @lol-haha-joke @lisinfleur @hissouthernprincess @marvelousse @dangerous-like-a-loaded-pistol @vikingsmania @wish-i-was-a-mermaid @lif3snotouttogetyou @gruffle1 @cris101071 @gold-dragon-slayer @babypink224221 @wonderwoman292 @naaladareia @beyond-the-ashes @generic-fangirl @chinduda @laketaj24, @peaceisadirtyword, @ly–canthrope @cris101071 @daughterofthenight117 @unassumingviking @ladyofsoa, @inforapound @winchesterwife27 @feyrearcheron44@readsalot73 @squirrelacorngliterfarts @gold-dragon-slayer @medievalfangirl @sallydelys  @bluearchersstuff @affectionrabbitt @whatamood13 @notyouraveragegirl17 @igetcarriedawaywithyou @unacceptabletatertots @ivarandersen @stra-vage @tgrrose @cookies186 @learninglemni-blog @theleeshanotlouise @soiproclaim @msmorganforever @destynelseclipsa @soleil-dor @strangunddurm @superwolfchild-fan @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie

[kellylanesvault]

How To Easily Lose Weight Without Dieting

Restricting what you eat and how much you eat will not always work in your favor. Many studies have shown that restrictions of any kind are bound to fail in the long term. So, if you had previously gone on a strict diet and had some success but then bounced back to your fat weight again in a matter of weeks, you’re your own proof that restrictions don’t work!

But, fret not. You can certainly still lose a ton of weight without restrictions—all you have to do is make a few tweaks to your lifestyle. The following list of 16 simple ways will help you to lose weight without any forms of restriction. Imagine stepping on the scale and seeing your desired number pop up without depriving yourself or cutting out your favorite foods—and best of all, these terrific tips and tricks will help you achieve sustainable, long-term weight loss.

Carb Pairing trick burns 2 pounds of belly fat per day ? Click <<

1. Don’t Skip Breakfast

Contrary to popular belief, skipping meals doesn’t help you shed pounds. In fact, it’s the other way around! Skipping a morning meal causes your blood sugar to drop, making you feel hungry and sluggish throughout the morning. You’ll be more likely to binge on carb-rich or high-fat meals later on. Eating in the AM also gives your metabolism a nice boost, so you burn calories at a faster rate throughout the day.

2. Don’t Snack at Night

Do you snack when night rolls around? This destructive pattern can pack on the pounds. Your metabolism drops as you get ready to hit the pillow and catch some ZZZs. Breaking the habit can help you lose weight because you’ll end up consuming less calories throughout the day. Reduce your PM munchies by keeping your appetite under control and eating small, wholesome meals at regular intervals throughout the day. It also helps to brush your teeth after your final meal!

3. Drink More Water

Beverages besides water might taste great, but they often contain calories that add up throughout the day. These empty calories don’t affect hunger levels, so you’ll still eat as much as you would otherwise. Instead of drinking your calories, opt for good old H20. Sticking to water hydrates your body and helps it work efficiently while boosting your metabolism and curbing cravings.

4. Eat More Fruits and Vegetables

Fruits and vegetables contain tons of nutrients. Fresh produce can melt pounds by supplying you with essential vitamins, minerals, and fiber your body needs to feel fully satisfied. Thanks to their high water content, these volume-rich foods take up room in your stomach and make you feel full. Fruits and vegetables also curb your cravings for carb-laden, sugar-filled snacks, and can prevent you from mindlessly munching. Instead of filling up on meat, eat more fruits and vegetables!

5. Eat Foods Loaded With Fiber

Your ticket to a slimmer figure is fiber. Your body doesn’t actually digest fiber. Instead, the nutrient passes through the intestines, latching onto fat and calories as it leaves your system. Fiber also removes toxic waste from the colon while balancing acidity in the intestines. It also acts as a bulking agent and allows food to move through your digestive track quicker. Never underestimate the fat-burning powers of filling fiber!

6. Eat Until You Are Full

Losing weight comes down to burning more calories than you eat, which leads us to portion control. Granted, this doesn’t mean consuming teeny tiny portions of food. It involves eating just enough to feel satisfied and fully nourished. Monitoring what and how much you’re eating will tip the scales in your weight loss favor. Begin portioning your meals according to the amount of calories you should eat per day.

7. Set A Fitness Goal

Give yourself a goal of taking at least 10,000 steps per day, or running a few miles a week. Goals like these will force you to sneak more exercise into your schedule. Once you start achieving your goals and feeling victorious, you’ll likely start including them in your routine and live a more active lifestyle. There are apps you can get on your phone that count your steps.

8. Eat More Protein

Protein tames hunger and curbs cravings, keeping you feeling full throughout the day. As a result, you’ll eat less and trim calories from your menu. The slimming powers of protein work soon after leaving your plate and entering your mouth. Protein-packed foods take more energy to digest and metabolize, meaning you’ll burn calories by simply eating them!

9. Eat More Salad

Never underestimate the slenderizing powers of a nutritious salad! The leafy dish, especially when packed with fibrous, filling vegetables and lean protein, can hook you up with essential nutrients and help you achieve rapid weight loss. Keep in mind that numerous dressings are rich in calories, ultimately defeating the whole diet-friendly purpose of salad. Reach for clean, healthy vinaigrettes and dressings. Olive oil and vinegar tastes delicious and serves as a healthy alternative to store-bought dressings.

10. Keep Temptations at Bay

When it comes to weight loss, the out of sight, out of mind rule serves you well. Rid your cupboard of fatty, overly-processed snacks and keep unhealthy indulgences out of reach. For example, if that leftover birthday cake is calling your name, then pop it in the freezer or bring it to work. Keeping temptations away will keep cravings at bay.

11. Manage Your Stress

Stress can wreak havoc on your hormones, causing your body to enter fight-or-flight mode. During this response, your body releases cortisol, which stimulates insulin release and throws off your blood sugar levels. The result? Your body will latch on to every calorie consumed and your appetite will increase. Higher hunger levels and a slower metabolism don’t mix well when it comes to losing weight! Banish stress and stay calm and collected.

12. Stay Out Of Boredom

More often than not, mindless snacking comes from pure boredom. When there’s nothing to do, scoping the kitchen for something to munch on seems enticing. Instead of taking your boredom out by stocking up on calories, distract yourself by reading a book, calling a friend, or going for a walk. Research shows that cravings pass within ten minutes, so banish these cravings by using that time to do something productive!

13. Keep A Bowl Of Washed Fruits

Have fruits pre-washed and handy at all times. This will make them easier to access in times of extreme hunger! Readily-available fruits that don’t require any meal prep whatsoever will be calling your name next time you’re dealing with a grumbling tummy. When it comes to satisfying hunger while losing weight, nothing will help you slim and trim more than nutrient-rich veggies and fruit!

14. Get Enough Sleep

Sleeping at least seven hours a night helps you lose weight. Sleep deprivation triggers a series of unhealthy choices. You’re more likely to reach for that latte, turn to takeout, or skip exercise. A lack of sleep will boost your hunger hormones, eliciting intense carb cravings and the likelihood of overeating. If you want to see the numbers on your scale drop, make sure to catch enough sleep.

15. Eat Slowly

When you eat slowly, you’ll pay more attention to when you’re full. Research shows that slowing down and taking the time to enjoy each bite of food will have you consuming less overall without feeling deprived. Drink water between bites, chew mindfully, and listen to your body when it says it’s full!

One last thing… you should try this super simple morning ritual that burns 1 pound of belly fat per day…

“All this by a morning ritual?” I asked.

I met an old friend for lunch last year and I was super impressed with how she lost 72 pounds in 3 months.

She said, “It’s not so much about the the so called ritual but more about how it releases fat-blasting molecules that signal your brain and body to burn off pounds and inches of trapped fat quickly and naturally.”

Even though I was skeptical, I’ve been struggling with my weight over the last few years, so I gave it a shot and watched the same video she did.

Well, it’s only a couple weeks later and you know what they say about how “you can’t transform your body overnight”…

They’re right — it actually took me 14 days to lose 19 pounds.

Now it’s my girlfriends asking ME what I’M doing differently

Imagine your body being beach ready before Memorial Day.

Imagine enjoying the foods you love: pasta, wine, or even a dessert — completely guilt-free.

And imagine feeling good and living your life without obsessing about every single calorie you eat…

All while knowing your health is being protected by one of the most powerful natural healing rituals ever discovered.

Click here to see the super simple morning ritual that helped me melt away 19 pounds in just 14 days

[unrelletable]

The first thing I do when I enter any kind of new environment is to check out if I am the skinniest girl in the room. If the answer to that question is yes, I then usually proceed to relax and enjoy whatever activity I am there to do. It happened while I was in school, when I volunteered for a local non-profit organization, when I worked as a waitress for two months. But also when I started my six months internship, when I looked for my current flat, and it still does when I go shopping for clothes or when I take my dog out for his daily walks. I am pretty sure that this is going to be the first thing I will make sure to be aware of when I enter the first class of the year in a couple of weeks. And I guess it is needless to say I am quite tired of it.

I have never become fully concious of this little trick my brain plays on me until one day I found out that I had gained weigth. And people around me started to make me aware of it. I am not talking about pounds and pounds, but since I had been extremely thin for almost ten years, every new kilo showed on me. Even a single one. People had been complimenting me for my shape, and I had always thanked out loud my fast metabolism for it. When actually years before I had lost a considerable amount of weight due to pretty heavy treatments I had to go through because of a bone cancer. So we were definitely not talking lucky genes back then. In order to gain that weight back - we are talking about around fifteen kilos: I was 163 cm high and right after my last treatment session my body did not weigh more than 37 kgs - it took me quite a few years. According to the medical tables, my weight was finally considered healhty for my height, age and sex two years ago. Which meant that it took me exactly eight years to go back to be in an average shape. 

But this is not what society and diet culture made me believe for the most part of those years - and still does. I can not recall how many times people had made amazed comments on how great I looked and how hard they wished their body could process food as fast as mine. I have always considered these affirmations as positive and never - even for a split second - questioned the fact that a visibly underweight body was considered the dream body by so many people. I was grateful for being so thin, and I have enjoyed fitting into the smallest pieces of clothing without the need of holding my breath or sucking my tummy in. Until I had to. 

As I said, my current weight is perfectly average. I am not either too skinny or chubby. My tummy shows little rolls when I sit, but looks flat when I stand. I still wear size 4 jeans and I have never had to buy something sized M yet. I guess I still fit into the thin category, so according to the society that glorifies thigh gaps and visible collarbones I should not worry. Just yet. Unfortunately though, the diet culture we live in began to pull its strings on me at the very moment when I realized I was no more the skinniest girl in the room. 

I do not know what came with the conciousness of being the girl who weighed less than any other. Probably the fact that I was succeeding at something, and that I would be noticed for it. I do not like being the centre of attention, but I literally loved when someone would point out how thin I was and started asking how I could manage to keep my body so fit. I have never explained the actual reason why I could wrap my fingers around my wrist and a twist them leaving out a considerable amount of space. Firstly, because I was not at a point in my life where I felt confident enough to speak about my cancer diagnosis, even though by that time I had completely healed; secondly, because I liked the fact that people thought that the shape of my body was something I had to take credit for. It made me feel as if I stood out in the crowd, not realizing that it was for a completely wrong reason. 

The actual moment of realization that I had some issues about the way my body looked came around a year and a half ago, but I would say that did not have much of an impact until the beginning of the new year. By then I had found a internship and even though I had planned to, I did not have much time to invest in working out. Everything changed with the coming of Covid and the following quarantine: having tons of free hours felt like an obligation to exercise. And so I did. 

Chloe Ting became my workout pal and the background music of her Five Weeks Shred Challenge’s videos my nightmare: I sweated for almost an hour every single day for more than a month and restricted my diet to the point where I would allow myself a treat only on Sunday. The very first weeks were the absolute worst: my tummy would groan constantly and I would feel hungry all the time. I would wake up hungry, be hungry after half an hour from breakfast, not feel satisfied at lunch and dinner, and I would literally go to bed with a hole in my stomach. The only snacks I had was fruit, and I did not eat any kind of carbohydrates apart from pasta at lunch. No bread, no biscuits, no crackers. For a good four months. Eventually my body got used to the lack of food, and started to burn calories from the inside. I lost a couple of kilos and my abs started to show, my legs became definitely more toned and I was almost completely cellulite-free. 

But all I would do, all the time, was thinking about food. I would count down the days that were left until Sunday every week, and when that day would come I binged like there was no tomorrow. Causing myself to feel extremely nauseous for the next couple of days. In case I would eat something prohibited during the weekdays, I would feel extremely disappointed with myself, as if a single teaspoon of chocolate cream would actually make a difference. I would weigh myself almost every morning and feel an ache of pain in case the scale would detect a couple of hundred grams of difference from the previous morning. My goal was to finally gain a body like the ones overcelebrated on Instagram, but luckily I did not.

Around the middle of August it finally struck me. I had listened to one episode of a podcast series - for my fellow Italians, I am talking about Palinsesto Femminista - that shed the light on the topic of body positivity and its actual mean. It took me a good couple of days to process all the amazing things I had heard on that hour long conversation involving one of the two founders of the Belle di Faccia association, but eventually it did. I was minding my own businesses trying to decide whether I was allowed a slice of bread with Nutella for breakfast and all of a sudden I found myself asking Being skinnier would make me actually happier? And the straight answer to that was no.

I would love to say that for the past month it has been a walk in the park and that I have not felt guilty eating while eating crisps or having cookies with my morning tea, but I have to reckon that there has been a change. When I work out, I do it because I like the sensation I get aftewards and not because it would get me a step closer to my dream body. Even though I still eventually think that I will go back to eat in the way I did during quarantine, I have decided that in that case I will not restrict myself like I used to. I have realized that I want to eat clean for my body to feel good, and not in order to avoid a couple of tiny rolls on my stomach. I had to brainwash myself out of the concept that what I see online is the actual reality and that it should be the norm. Every body should be valid, regardless of their weight or shape. No one should feel forced to starve themselves in order to comply with an aesthetic that is simply not realistic. I have to say that online accounts like the ones of @/namastehannah and @/danaemercer have had a great impact on my approach to exercise and reality in the past months, and in case you are struggling with the same kind of unrealistic expectations about the way your body should look like I highly recommed that you check them out. 

After six months of ups and downs in the relationship with my body image, I have come to the point that I definitely should try to worry less about the way I look. I went through something similar with the acceptance of my face, and back then not having to wear make up for half a year thanks to the fact that I had to look after to kids and knew no one in the neighbourhood kind of made me become more confident with showing my bare face. And since I had the chance to do it all over again thanks to self-isolation, I have learned to become familiar with the sleepy face I see everytime I wake up. And I have to admit that I actually started to like it. I am sure sure if I will brave enough not to put any kind of make up on when I go to classes, but we will just have to wait to find it out. Who knows.

Thus I am hoping that I will be able to go through the same process with my body as a whole as well. I am now concious of the fact that I do not have to necessarily love the shape I am in, but I simply need to accept it for what it is and all the things that it allows me to do on a daily basis. I now know that it can change a thousand times during my lifetime, or even a single day, and regardless of it, it will always be worth. Let’s be honest, most posts of flat tummies and toned booties are edited or posed anyway. So what I am going to try to do is to let go of these insanely unhealthy expectations and focus on what makes me feel good. Regardless of those around me or those who pop up on the explore page.

- body image issues and other stories

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #284

“mama, we’re all full of lies / mama, we’re meant for the flies”

When was the last time you changed a lightbulb? About a month or so back I had to change Venus’ heat lamp. Who was the last person you sent an e-mail to? I emailed my older sister the OneDrive link to her holiday pictures I did. When was the last time you visited the dentist? What about the optician? It’s been quite a few months since I went to the dentist for a normal cleaning. I haven’t seen an eye doctor in around a year or so because it’s a less pressing matter, and we can’t afford to buy me new glasses anyway. I desperately need them. Do you sleep on your side, your back or your front? My side, stomach, or like a contortion of both. Would you rather drive or be the passenger? Let me be shotgun controlling the music and I’m set for a long ride. When was the last time you received a handwritten letter? Sara sent me one I think two years ago for my birthday. If you have pets, do you buy them gifts for Christmas or their birthdays? Ha, yes. We don’t know either’s exact birthday though, so we don’t really “celebrate” those. Do you know how to ride a bike? How about ride a skateboard? A bike, yeah. I don’t know how to skateboard, though. Did you get enough sleep last night? How much sleep is enough sleep for you? No. I don’t even know what “enough sleep” is. I’m always tired. What are your favourite condiments? Do you use those often? Ketchup and honey mustard probably top the list, considering they’re the ones I use most. Peanut butter: crunchy or smooth? Do you have a favorite brand? I trust no one who can enjoy crunchy peanut butter. I like Skippy quite a bit. Do you have any life-threatening allergies? No. Have you had to take a COVID test yet? Was it positive or negative? I haven’t needed to take one. Do you think it’s okay to keep cats indoors for their entire lives? They SHOULD be. Cats are very destructive and disruptive predators of once-stable environments. They fuck up the food chain and have done a lot of damage to native populations. This is coming from a person whose house was an absolute NEST for cats to the point they were taken away. They lived outside, and I can only imagine the harm they really caused. Of course, as a kid, I didn’t understand this, but as an educated and experienced adult when it comes to this subject, it’s saddening to look back on. Please, keep your cats inside. AND FIXED. Hence our cat empire lmao. Do you think people should need a license in order to keep animals, just to make sure they knew how to properly take care of them? That would actually be LOVELY. If only. Not that it would entirely prevent illegal ownership, but I like to think most people are law-abiding citizens… Which meal of the day is your favorite? What’s your favorite thing to eat for that meal? BREAKFAST! Cinnamon rolls just gotta top the list. When was the last time you bounced on a trampoline? Would you ever want to go to one of those indoor trampoline parks? It has to have been so, so many years. My knees could NEVER take that now. I’m not interested in that. What’s your favorite thing to put on a baked potato? Butter, American cheese, and bacon bits… yum. Have you ever made money selling stuff online? What was it you were selling? I don’t think so, at least not successfully. Do you have a valid passport? When was the last time you used it? No. What was the last song you sung along to? I’m unsure. I rarely sing along to songs. What was the last piece of fruit you ate? What about the last vegetable? Fruit: apple. Vegetable: ummm I’m actually unsure. Probably broccoli. Have you ever lied to the police or a customs official? Were you ever found out? No. Are you much of a procrastinator, or would you rather get things out of the way so you can relax? I am a HEAVY procrastinator. When was the last time you took an exam of any kind? I don’t know. Probably not since I was in school. What snacks/drinks from your childhood do you wish they still made? Ah man, I know there’s some… just too many to dig through to try and remember. Are you a fan of techno? Yeah, sometimes. Who's your favorite horror movie villain/monster? I don’t particularly like one over the other. What's an 'obsession' of yours that most people would find odd or amusing? Probably how much I love Mark, given that being a “fangirl” is usually seen as juvenile. What's the sweetest thing another person has said or done for you? Probably Colleen letting me live with her while I was homeless for a month or two. Said to me, actually from Colleen’s sister; I was having a crying episode over Jason and she just grabbed my head and told me with such passion that I was so beautiful, strong, and deserved the world. Safe to say I started crying more lmao but at least it wasn’t from sadness. What's the absolute best feeling in the world? Being in love. Does the person you have feelings for know you feel that way? Yeah. Do you like Tim Burton? Um, duh. How do you feel about hypnotism? I don’t believe it works. It’s just the power of suggestion. How do you feel about Pink Floyd? I’m not a big fan, but I like some songs. What’s your preferred way of keeping fit? Is it something you make time to do on a regular basis? You assume I AM fit… but I really am trying to change that with WiiFit again, once the living room is cleaned up. I plan to insert it into my morning routine. Have you ever raised a puppy? Would you want to or would you prefer to adopt an adult rescued dog? Yes, Teddy. Right now I don’t want another dog, but hypothetically, I’d absolutely go for an adult rescue. Who was the last person to come to your house? Were they an expected visitor? My younger sister. Yes. If you work, is your job the same everyday, or does it vary depending on what you have on? N/A Would you ever be interested in owning your own business? Why or why not? Well, I want to be a freelance photographer, so… It’s not off the ground enough for me to *officially* call it a business, but while it’s absolutely so exciting to picture, it’s also very anxiety-inducing, the idea of it (hopefully) getting to that point since I’m dumb as fuck in regards to business stuff. Do you have your driver’s license? If so, did you find it easy or difficult to learn and pass your test? Ugh, I don’t. I need it so badly, I know, but right now, I couldn’t even if I wanted to because my vision is too bad to possibly pass that part, and I can’t afford to see an eye doctor + get a new prescription. If you have pets, how often do you buy them new treats and toys? Venus is a snake, so… yeah, lol. She needs a bigger terrarium, though, but a 40 gallon is expensive. Roman gets a new toy every now and then, but he doesn’t play with them as much anymore. If you had to work a job that required you to do shifts, would you rather work the early, late or night shift? Early. Get it over with. Do you have a favorite type of survey to take? Yeah; I like the ones that make me think or are just questions I definitely haven’t seen before but are also interesting. Some random questions are way too specific to apply to most people. On a typical day, how long do you spend out of the house? Even before the pandemic, usually zero time. Do you live in a close-kit community? Well we’re the new family on the block, so it’s hard to tell quite yet. People were welcoming, though. Do you have a vlog? NOOOOOOOOOO. If not, have you ever considered starting a vlog? No, I would feel WAY too fuckin awkward. Did you go to AM or PM kindergarten? AM. What are your favorite YouTube channels to watch? The whole world knows Markiplier is my true favorite channel, but lately I’ve really been digging pet (particularly reptile or tarantula) channels, Snake Discovery in specific. I’ve been bingeing the fuck outta them. I’ve officially become the “I know more than you” Petco meme lmao. Which relative(s) do you look the most like? Idk. Have you ever watched a live birth video? FUCK no. I never would. That could be so fucking scarring to middle school kids, for Christ’s sake. I’ve never understood why they show them in a lot of health classes. Have you ever given birth? Fuck to the no; never plan to, either. Have you ever wished you were born the opposite gender? Nah. Have you ever worn overalls? Ugh, as a kid. They’re so hideous to me now. If you’re a girl, how old were you when you started your period? I was in the 6th grade, so 11-12. Is your mom mentally stable? I mean she has depression, but otherwise, yeah. What color hair did your first crush have? I can’t really remember who my first crush was with certainty… but I think I might. If I’m right, blond. What was the name of your first crush? ^ in minds, I think Aaron. Did you ever play on Mamamedia.com? Doesn’t ring a bell. Do you remember your first email address? Haha, yeah, it’s still my current one… Did you name your Lego characters? I was more of a Lincoln Logs kid. Do you take medication for anxiety or depression? Both. If so, does it work? Does it help you? Or does it make you feel worse? I’d probably be dead without at least my mood stabilizers. Have you ever had a bag stolen? I don’t believe so. Who was your best friend in high school? Hannia. What book or movie gave you nightmares as a child? Ha, no books or movies, I think, but remember King Ramses from that episode of Courage the Cowardly Dog? Oh, trust me, I HAD NIGHTMARES. What song makes you cry? The most, probably “Eternally Yours” by Motionless In White. I physically cannot listen to it. Does anyone know who your first crush was besides you? Maybe Mom? Idk. How many teachers have you had crushes on? None. Did you make your Barbie dolls get crushes on each other? I actually don’t remember? I don’t think we had any male Barbies, and of course as a little kid raised in the South especially, I didn’t even realize homosexuality was a thing, so we never considered the girls dating. Did your Barbie dolls go on dates? ^ How old were you when you had your first kiss? 16. Do you have scars from self-harm? No, they’re long faded and were thankfully never very severe. Did your hair change at all when you went through puberty? Yep, it gradually turned brown. Are you taller, shorter, or the same height as your mom? We’re the same height. Would you ever consider adopting a child? I don’t want kids, period. The only possible case I see is being a stepmom, but even then I can’t visualize me being one to an actual kid-kid. Just like, maybe a mid-teen and above. Do you trim your own hair? No. What are all the things you remember being for Halloween? I’m very surprised that I don’t remember many at all. I know I was a witch multiple times. What was the name of the first pet that you loved? I adored almost every pet my family has ever had. Our first was a stray cat named Chance we took in. INCREDIBLE animal. What color was your nursery? I have zero clue. Do you exercise regularly? Ugh, no, but I genuinely plan on changing that once the living room is cleaned up and Mom moves into her room. I’m very serious about starting Wii Fit again. I WAS gonna start walking once we moved here, but I found I was too scared to alone. I’m way too paranoid. Do you have a healthy BMI? lol What photo editing software do you use? Lightroom, Photoshop, and very rarely PhotoScape if I’m being lazy with watermarking my photography. Do you live somewhere with lots of livestock or wild animals? Livestock, yeah. You pass cows all the time around here. If you’re in a more wooded area, you’ll find roadkill kinda frequently, sadly. Would you rather live somewhere rural or urban? Rural. It’s the only thing that sucks about our new home – we’re in the suburbs. Is there anything (a hobby, for example) that’s guaranteed to always make you feel better when you’ve had a bad day? Not 100%, really. If the day was truly awful, sometimes nothing helps. If you’re struggling with your mental health, who are you most likely to open up to, or would you bottle it up instead? I vent to my mom the most. What room of your house do you spend the most time in? Is this through choice or necessity? My room, and it’s by choice. The second room that I wanna make my “office” is still LOADED with stuff from moving. If you could design your own garden, what would you have in it? Do you think that dream is ever going to be achievable for you? I don’t want a garden. Does it take you a long time to fall asleep at night? What do you if you’re really struggling to get to sleep? It can take me very, very long. I dread lying down some nights just because I know I’ll be tossing and turning for a good while. If I’ve tried to sleep for a long time to no avail, I do what you shouldn’t do and get back on the laptop. Do you think it’s cruel when people keep exotic animals as pets? Or do you think it’s okay as long as they have the space, time and money to dedicate to them? This depends on the animal and situation. I do believe some rescue cases are justified for the animal’s survival, but as the question mentions, you need to be able to provide adequately for it to be moral imo. I do NOT support exotic pet ownership for the average person. If you eat meat, is there a particular animal you’d never eat? If you don’t eat meat, what’s the reason for it? I could never eat a “pet” animal, nor an animal hunted mostly for sport. Even in survival cases, I’d have a hard time eating a wild animal.

[justwinginoverthings]

It goes to prove how different and fucked up our ideas of "healthy living" or "ideal body" are that I read an article about how for some the idea of a healthy body is fitting into a size 4 or 6 (the "medium" sizes apparently)... How those pounds you waste translate to clothing size. And I just... I am ENRAGED. Listen, ever since I'm 18 I've been either a size 4 (2 on some bigger brands) or a 6 (on those skinny brands) and let me tell you...

From 18 onwards (basically since I left high school and college messed up my eating, sleep hours and time for exercise) I was NOT healthy at all!!!! I ate junk! I slept little! My biggest excersise was running to the bus stop when I was late. I led an extremely sedentary life, not in a "doesn't go to the gym" kind of way (cause who has money for a gym?), but in a "drive to places I can walk to" kind of way. I live in a place where certain fruits and grains are cheap, but instead of eating those I spend even more money on junk fast food. I didn't have high cholesterol or diabetes or anything, but I had no energy, bad self-esteem and regularely had the flu or some stomach issue.

Last year I decided to change that. I got real with my finances. If I was going out, I spent less on drinks and used that money to buy myself some better food. Instead of binge watching 4 episodes on Netflix I'd binge 2 and gave myself some time to do some FitnessBlender videos (check out those if you wanna start working out! Completely free!). I spent less time in fandom wank on this site and started prepping my meals the night before and going with a lunch bag to classes/work.

I know I Iost some (not much) pounds, but on the grand scale of things I'm still mostly a size 4 (with the occasional 2 or 6), which I already was before. Can't do anything about it. I'm a curvy latina, my ass is round, my hips wide, a nice bussom. It's other stuff: I'm so full of energy it's crazy (it's silly things like making a more throughrough clean of the house or not minding a quick run to the store for any last minute needs) . My limbs, while remaining the same size, have a certain firmness about them that makes me feel powerful. I get sick very little and generally just need rest and water to overcome anything not serious. My waist still measures the same, but there's a certain tightness to it that makes me feel like a hottie. My skin looks great. I feel confident as fuck, one of the things I never dared do I do constantly now: wear croptops.

This is a longass post to say that healthy lifestyle is disgustingly promoted in a fatphobic way, focusing on size and measurements. Healthy living is a thing you feel. Ignore the weight scale and the sizes. If you start the idea of being healthy (eating a bit less saturated fats and toning down the sugar, walking and taking stairs, lifting water bottles for some weightlifting) you're gonna FEEL the difference, it has nothing to do with sizes.

Long story short, fashion's size obssession and fatphobia are the worst enemies of healthy lifestyle because honestly the only marketing that ever should be needed to sell it is that you're gonna feel fucking great.

[mistyhollowpro]

HEY! @shitlorddio tagged me! BIZZNICH!

Rules:

Always post the rules.

Answer the questions given to you by the person who tagged you.

Write 11 questions of your own.

Tag 11 people who you want to get to know better.

Let’s do it!

1: Have you ever been in a country outside of your own? If so, which ones?

Japan, Canada, and China. I don’t... Count China, cause I was at the airport. XD Had I know my flight was going to be 5 hours later, I would have absolutely left and done something so I could get it stamped on my passport.

2: Favorite memes, vines videos, etc?

I love Thomas Sanders vines. They’re so wholesome and healthy.

3: Which video game are you currently playing?

TOMB RAIDER MOTHER FUCKERS~!

4: Have you ever been to a concert?

So I’ve seen EXO when I liked them back two years ago, and in December I get to see my all time biggest idol, Amber Liu of F(x). :) <3 

5: Who is/are your favorite Youtuber’s? Or whose videos do you check out the most?

So I really like watching KubScouts and Achievement Hunters. I’ll binge watch those. I also adore Cry and his let’s plays, especially of The Walking Dead and Fragile Dreams: Farewell Ruins to the Moon. I binge watch him and Dodger play Dandelion, Wishes Brought to You. XD

6: What’s the best gift you’ve ever gotten from someone?

This one is gonna sound stupid, but like, I have a hatred for Valentines Day, and not just because I never have anyone to spend it with. Long story short, it was ruined for me years ago by my dad. Anyway, my therapist at the time got me this giant stuffed lion with a bow on it for Valentines Day and brought it to my high school when she came to see me. No, it wasn’t a romantic gesture. She just knows what happened, and also knows how I feel about that stuff, so like, that lion is probably my most favorite gift. 

And to add to that story, yes. I walked around that day with it. It was too big to fit in my locker! So me, at 18 years old, walked around in my senior year that day with it. People gave me gross looks, but I was just like, “Bitch, you see that tiny card you got? Check out my giant lion.” 

I would like to emphasize the lion was up to my knees. I’m five foot seven.

7: Favorite Console/gaming platform?

If I had a one key, playing on my computer would be so much easier, but I prefer my laptop.

8: Name 4-5 of your most favorite celebrities.

Amber, Amber, Amber, Amber... And Angelina Jolie. 

9: Do you have any pets? If not, which animal would you like to have as a pet?

I have five cats, but I want a dog again. If I had a choice, I’d have horses. I love horses, and I miss my Odie. :(

10:Favorite subject in school?

Lunch.

11: Your most favorite fandom (Be it from an anime, cartoon show, anything)?

Nabari No Ou. It’s such a small fandom (Only a few hundred at this point), so it’s easy to be nice and receive kindness from people.

My questions:

What’s your social security number? No, I’m totally kidding. Don’t answer that. Real question! What’s your most favorite holiday and why?

If you were stranded on a desert island, would you eat your right foot or your left first first?

Name the first thing that pops into your head in the morning.

When the new year begins, how do you approach it? (I.E. Dreams, goals, emotions, etc...)

If you were a fruit, what would you be?

Biggest pet peeve?

What are some things in anime you hate seeing? Could be anything from a typical plot to a rape scene, to a kitten being adopted, to violence. I dunno. Whatever doesn’t float your boat.

What’s some things you like seeing in anime? See above question for emphasis.

How would you describe your dreams? (I’m talking the ones you have when you sleep. Not your aspirations.)

What’s the weirdest dream you’ve had?

Can I borrow twenty bucks?

Listen, you never said I had to make serious questions. You said just ask 11 questions. @hailqiqi @legendarypotat @alteanroyals @myeverlastingship @wateryourplance @eternaishere @ace-pidge @luddlestons @voltrashcan @momtaku @solkorra

[effing-efflorescence]

✰ tag yourself ~ cities ✰

new york: gets no sleep ever, definitely an extrovert, the burn of a good workout, afternoon runs to the dog park, christmas lights up in march, laughing with friends, leather jackets, tangled earbuds, music playlists for when they’re just ready to go, listens to literally anything and everything (except country), elaborate drawings, “shut up and get me more coffee”, doing things “because why the hell not?”, has a lot of friends but only a few close ones, would die for the people close to them, easy to get worked up, “fight me, susan”, dares, hours spent looking for new songs, long camping trips, the thrill of running away, a flower growing in a crack on the sidewalk, movie posters, that moment when your brain has to buffer because there’s so much going on, “guys i just remembered something”, paint everywhere, knows how to pick locks, gets easily overinvested in projects, long debates over the meaning of life at midnight, road trips, can’t sit still, lowkey touch-starved, has 7 dogs, secretly loves to read, procrastination!!!, “wait, we had homework?”, a messy-yet-organized room, dog person, keeps stuff that’s important to them under their pillow, remembers really random facts but can’t remember where they were this morning, “i swear i just had it a second ago”, leaves notes and reminders everywhere, easily distracted, swears a lot, good at holding grudges, looks tough but is really a sweetheart, binge-watching tv shows, forgets to eat because they’re glued to their computer, existential crises at 3 in the morning, sleepovers, “are voids sentient?” “yes.” “how do you know?” “i’m hungry.”, the feeling when you can’t stop laughing, loves being up early but hates getting up early (there’s a difference), best friend you’ll ever have 

paris: the smell of books, a quiet coffee shop, string lights, “it’s for the aesthetic, karen”, very specific meaningful photos, gets lost in bookstores, glances from across the room, very quiet until you get to know them, the smell of fresh bread, pages and pages full of notes and song lyrics and doodles and ideas, walking around in the snow, a windowsill garden, sunsets, brainwaves at 2 am, no sleep cause they were up reading all night, warm sweaters, big soft hoodies stolen from a partner, scarves, looking out over a city at night, falling alseep right away after a long day, the absolute best book hangovers, the feeling of being productive, adorable but doesn’t know it, definitely an introvert, stargazing, falling asleep on a book, study playlists, classical music, movie soundtracks, photo edits, tries their best, probably anxious, cat person, organizes their pens in mugs on their desk, a neat room, minimalist aesthetics, notices things others don’t, looks like an innocent flower but is actually way more badass then you’d expect, listens to hard rock music, gets weird looks when they tell people what’s on their mind so they don’t talk much, actually doesn’t shut up once they’ve decided they trust you, long text messages at midnight, is terrified of losing the people close to them, smol, wicked good at eyeliner but doesn’t wear it very often, hours of music playlists, very huggable, looks like they get good grades without trying but they actually spend hours stressing and studying, keeps all their library receipts, has a box full of sentimental stuff, is scared of opening up to people because then they can hurt you with the things closest to your heart, vivid dreams, dependable, will drop everything to help a friend

london: very organized, plans their day to the minute, stresses about small details, freaks out if anything goes wrong, uses public transit, always has a mug of tea in their hand, electronic music, quiet museums, picking wildflowers, has big ideas but doesn’t talk about them very much, probably a pyro, running through an empty field, looking through old photos, talking about stuff that feels important, probably a cat person, the colour red, crowded streets, the smell of food being cooked, sitting in the park with friends, photos that make you think, those warm flannel shirts, always gets there 10 minutes early, simple-yet-elaborate patterns, pen drawings, neat notes, hours spent writing, 53 drafts of the same chapter, lowkey wants to be an author but doesn’t think they’re good enough, needs more tlc, wants to know everything there is to know but doesn’t know where to start, always up early in the morning, sunrises, tshirts stolen from a partner, early morning pancakes and waffles, fresh fruit, walking down the street late at night, staring at the moon, “what if?”, has a group of close friends they would die for and knows they would do the same, thinks about societal problems a lot but has no idea how to fix them, notices when something’s out of place cause the room feels off, loves thunderstorms, watching for lightning from a window, wearing a long black coat and definitely pulling it off, the thrill of being up high, pressing your forehead against a window to see something outside, carefully placing a ladybug on a leaf, finding a lucky penny on the street

rome: walking contradition, a bit of an introvert but craves social interaction, has trouble really opening up to people but is easy to talk to, probably has a mysterious past, walking through a quiet hallway, the feeling of being completely alone in a silent room, the sound of heels on a wooden floor, museums, huge doorways, empty churches, small cafés, drinking hot chocolate while the sun comes up, parted curtains, steaming plates of food, high archways, the tingle in your toes you get after sliding down a hallway in socks, total architecture nerd, definitely wants to work in architectural design, “it’s obviously a conspiracy against you”, staring at a wall and thinking up designs in their head, 3D thinking, well-framed photos, a long relaxing bath after a hard day, weaving through crowds, a fast learner, hours spent practicing something they’re passionate about, city lights, definitely knows a lot of important people, “it’s complicated”, knife-sharp sarcasm, quick comebacks, always alert, could probably kill you but won’t, silver jewelry, ivory, marble sculptures, shameless flirting, “just one more.. little touch.. shit wait no go back”, helping someone who’s crying because no one should be made to feel bad, secretly plays god in their head, walking home in the rain, catching a snowflake on your tongue, feeling homesick for places you’re never been but have read about avidly, living a lifetime inside a book and then needing a moment alone staring at nothing before returning back to the real world, thinking about everything at once and nothing at all at the same time

[rochesternutritionclub]

Women, Hormonal Changes and Exercise

If your hormonal cycle is making you feel like you want to avoid exercise and just eat cookies instead, let me share with you how exercise may actually help you to feel better. As women, we go through so many hormonal changes in our lifetime. As a woman who has experienced the ups and downs of hormonal changes, I have learned that staying positive and living a healthy, active lifestyle can help me to cope with the rollercoaster ride that is being a woman. The benefits of being physically active go far beyond the physical. Exercising releases endorphins that make you feel good. It also causes you to sweat and improve circulation, which gives your skin a youthful postexercise glow. Although we can’t stop the aging process, building lean muscle mass helps to counteract nature’s plan, allowing you to feel strong and toned as you age. With all of these benefits, why is it that so many women just can’t seem to get motivated to exercise? I believe it’s because the hormonal shift and lack of energy that comes with the female monthly cycle. It’s very real and we all experience it in different ways. The bloating and general irritable mood, however, seem to be pretty standard for all of us. My dedication to following a regular exercise routine has been my saving grace. It has helped me to boost my mood, reduce water retention and increase my energy levels. Whether you’re pre-menstrual, dealing with the postpregnancy hormone shift, are premenopausal or in full-blown menopause, make an effort to commit yourself to being active. Here are some practical tips to help keep you away from the cookie jar and up off the couch. Consistency is key. As your body is going through changes, having a set time of day that you focus on yourself is important. Aim to be active for at least 30 minutes doing something that you enjoy. Exercising at the same time each day helps to create a sense of routine, which can mentally give you a boost and make you feel accomplished. Having control of something during a time when physical changes seem so out of your control is essential. Don’t underestimate the power of walking. Walking is a fantastic form of cardiovascular exercise for people of all ages. You can add in a challenge by walking up hill or perform some lunges along the way to strengthen your legs. When you are suffering from hot flashes, performing high-intensity workouts may make you feel worse so a low-intensity routine is best. When you have cramps, the last thing you need is to make yourself feel worse, so listen to your body and do only what feels right. Meet up with a friend. Consider exercising with a friend, or treat yourself to a personal training session or fitness class each month. As women, we naturally feel better when we have a support system around us. The added sense of accountability that comes from meeting someone for a workout will help you to keep focused. Keep healthy snacks handy. I know that you may want to eat a pint of ice cream, indulge in potato chips or worse, visit a fast food restaurant to help improve your mood. However, chances are you will feel way worse afterward and gain excess weight in the process. Eating and binging during your cycle is something that so many women do, and it sometimes feels unavoidable. The professional in me wants to tell you to avoid all unhealthy calorie options and eat only nutrient-dense snacks, but the real woman in me says try to find a balance. I personally try to fill up on healthy fruits, veggies and protein. I also ensure I am well hydrated. Only then, if I am really craving a sweet or salty treat, do I indulge. At that point chances are I will only need a small amount to feel satisfied and won’t totally overdo it. I have been through a lot, from difficult and unpredictable cycles, infertility struggles, pregnancy, post-pregnancy hormones, and a major surgery that has caused my hormones to be out of sync. But, my stable and consistent approach toward nutrition and exercise has allowed me to keep my body composition and my sanity intact. I hope that you find a way to navigate your way through life’s changes in a healthy and active way. Regardless of what challenges you are going through in your life, fitness, focus and friendship can pretty much get you through it all, so stay active and help others stay active, too.

[sarahunfiltered-blog1]

My Diet/Fitness/Nutrition Journey Thus Far

Most of the memories I have of life growing up revolve mostly around food. I remember growing up and all we’d eat was Sonic, Dairy Queen, Whataburger, McDonald’s, Taco Bell, Wendy’s, you name it, I ate it. I could still to this day probably tell you my order from each place. I was raised on Hamburger Helper, Ramen noodles, Rice a Roni, canned and boxed everything, candy and soda. 

I remember when I was around maaaaaybe 12-13 and my mom doing a diet that may have been slim quick or something along the lines of you eat chicken and veggies, take these pills and do some sort of workout. I had a really bad sweet tooth (still do) as a kid and I started to gain weight and at 13 I was 165lbs, so my mom included me into her diet routine and I would eat the chicken and veggies, rice cakes, a tbsp of coconut oil and would chew sugar gum and we’d walk between the stop signs on the street we lived on and I’d do her workouts with her. I remember watching my brothers and sisters eating candy while I ate my caramel rice cakes because I was the bigger one of all of them, so for the longest time I was just the fat tomboy of a girl that would stare at herself in the mirror and look at how big my butt was at 13 and hating it and my stomach to stuck out and my fat face. I remember I used to grab my stomach and cry and scream about how much I hated it. If only I were skinny I’d be enough. I would sneak and binge on sweets, it was my comfort, it was there for me and it made me feel better

When I got my period and more of my hormones kicked in I lost a lot of weight. I want to say I got down to 125 when I was around 14-15 and I wouldn’t eat because I was extremely depressed. My sweet tooth was still there, but I wouldn’t eat because I thought eating would make me fat, so I wouldn’t and when I did it was minimal. I ate a lot of 100 calorie snacks, drank juice like V8 because I thought it was healthy, diet coke because it was diet and wouldn’t make me fat. When I was 16 I started working at Target and they have a Pizza Hut Cafe and almost every shift I would go pick up there bread sticks and a diet Pepsi and that would be my lunch (the thought of that now literally makes me cringe). I went to a bible college from 17-almost 18 and ate Ramen noodles and whatever shit food they served while I was there, but I didn’t know any different so I just ate it. I was still pretty skinny because ya know I was 15-17 and you can eat like shit and still be a twig.

When I turned 18 and moved out of my parents house my diet didn’t suuuuper change. I was still living a hardcore Taco Bell and Pizza Hut bread sticks and diet coke life style because I was living on my own, broke as a joke and ate the food I was used to eating, but then I gained probably 30lbs easily within a short amount of time (surprise surprise). I had spent my whole time as a teenager not wanting to be the fat kid and here I was back at 165lbs... wtf. I didn’t really know how to cook, didn’t have money for groceries, refused to apply for food stamps, so I just thought starting to workout would cure all my problems. Well, it didn’t long story short. I mean why didn’t working out and running for an hour THEN going eat Taco Bell work? I was working out, right? HA.

I remember scrolling Pinterest when I discovered it and finding the “Military Diet” and giving that a go. You basically don’t eat anything for 3 days and could apparently lose 10lbs. I wanted to DIE during that diet. I made it the first time around and lost 5lbs, then gave it another go and didn’t make it 2 days and stopped by Taco Bell on my way home from work and binged on that. So my diet search continued... One of my coworkers at the time started using My Fitness Pal to track her calories and she was losing weight like crazy, so I obviously I needed to give it a go and the weight just started falling fall. I went from 165lbs to 125lbs within a matter a months. I didn’t work out, I just ate less than 1,500 calories a day, cold turkey stopped eating candy, drinking soft drinks and unfortunately my Pizza Hut bread sticks. Everything was going GREAT. When I wanted to go down to the next lbs and I was 0.2 from it I would pop a few laxatives the night before and then would weight myself the next morning after shitting my brains out, but I HAD to lose that 0.2lbs.. just had to. I became overly obsessed with counting calories and eating lean cuisines and and 100 calories snacks and drinking Naked juice and weighing myself DAILY and measuring every single little thing I ate and would legit cry if I went over my calories. Funny, not so funny story. One weekend I was headed to my mom’s and had already eaten all of my calories for the day, but was staaaaaaaarving, so I stopped by Jimmy John’s and ate a sandwich that was 800ish calories, which put me 800ish calories over what I was “allowed” to eat, so you bet your ass I drug all of my brother and sisters and mom to a walking trail and walked/ran until I burned off the entire sandwich because I wouldn’t sleep peaceful knowing what I did by eating that sandwich. It was bad, just so bad. I remember the day I hit a breaking point and just wanted some damn chocolate chop cookies, but didn’t have the calories saved for it, but I binged on them anyways and cried in Michael’s arms over what I did and he was telling me it was fiiiiiiine and all the sweet things he could, but it wasn’t to me in that moment, but in that moment I just knew I needed to stop all of this, so I did. I feel like I remember just deleting the app off my phone and being done with it. I was 20 at this point and working a standing job.

Beginning in February of 2014 I started a corporate sitting job, so I didn’t have access to Starbucks or a grocery store on my breaks like I did working at Target, so I had to start bringing my lunches and snacks and to top it all off I was sitting. As you could maybe imagine I started gaining weight from being stagnant and snacking ALL day at my desk (#teamnutrigrain). I put on a good 20lbs within the first couple of months. So I started going for walks on my breaks, eating a lean cuisine a day, eating more fresh fruits and veggies, almonds, and limited my snacking to only in the afternoons and that kind of helped and worked for me for a long time and I stayed at a healthy maybe 140ish lbs and that worked for me because I was still skinny. All about that skinny life because skinny = healthy, right? Well, I thought so. 

I turned 21 and didn’t go crrazzzyy drinking, but I drank moscato and margarita’s often enough and still was all about my Friday candy binge. I was also drinking up to 3 cups of coffee a day at work and just couldn’t figure out why I was sweating and so anxious all the time. I genuinely thought it was from work when in reality I was just pumping myself with coffee after coffee after coffee day in and day out (I’ve learned since my lesson since then). I went through a phase of HIIT workout and running, but that faded really quick, but I really enjoyed hiking when I gave it a go, still do. Along with yoga which I am planning to make a goal of starting a practice in 2018. 

Around the time I turned 22-23 my older sister, Meghann, had a baby and really educated herself around living a more holistic lifestyle and it really intrigued me and around that time I had discovered podcasts and I realized how much processed foods aren’t the best choice and what I could do as an alternative way of going about eating, so I stopped lean cuisine’s (haven’t had one since), milk and yogurt along with limiting candy and processed snacks. I completely cleaned my desk out at work from all the sugar filled granola bars and whatever else I had in there and started to work with that. I shortly thereafter learned about one of the best ways of going about what to eat/not eat is if it didn’t come from the earth and/or has a label on it to think twice before eating it and READ the back of the label if you do. This is still newer-ish to me to do and I’m currently learning about all things nutrition, and how the mind, body and spirit all work together and you can’t have one fully without the other.

 As of now I don’t drink dairy milk, I limit cheese but still love it, I grocery shop once a week and buy as much organic produce as possible, I am still working on the meat switch when it comes to buying organic meat (not quite there yet), I cold turkey stopped eating candy and have found organic, non high fructose corn syrup filled alternatives when I have a sweet tooth, I haven’t been drinking alcohol much the last 2 months or so (don’t have a legit reasoning behind it, just doesn’t sound good), I am really into cooking paleo, vegan, Whole30 friendly foods because it coincides with my eating from the earth method I live by and when I want Whataburger breakfast on a Friday or a taco with a flour tortilla or a real homemade chocolate chip cookie I happily will eat it because I do not believe in living a restricted lifestyle. My entire life leading up to recently whether it was mentally, spiritually or physically has been restricted and I’m not OK with it because it’s limiting and keeps me in a box. I’m a believer in the energy you put into something is negative the outcome will be negative, so if I’m to sit here and say “this is cookie is SO bad for me. OMG. I am going to gain 10lbs.” Well, I’m asking for it to happen, versus eating the cookie cause I want the damn cookie and loving every bit. They doesn’t mean I sit there and eat 12, it just means my mindset around food was so terrible for so long and I know what it did to me mentally that is not worth it for me to be negative about it. I am content and happy with where I am out now, I don’t even care to weigh myself anymore, I don’t body shame myself anymore, I don’t calorie count, I don’t binge, I don’t use food as a reward system, I just educate myself around it, listen to my body and see how it feels and go from there. My anxiety has lessened, I sleep so much better, I feel so peaceful inside and out, and my skin has completely cleared up (I’ll talk about my skincare routine future post).  It’s been a long, ongoing journey, but I am thankful for the million and 2 podcasts I’ve listened to, my sister and everyone else along the way to get me to where I am today and I am excited to continue to learn and grow and now have a place to share all the info I am taking in and it maybe help someone else. :)

- Sarah xo

[raymondfiyx393-blog]

Don't Just Sit There! Start Weight Loss & Control

There are a lot of handy damage control diet strategies that you should employ to best prevent yourself from overdoing it in the dining room table this holiday season. Use the tips below allowing yourself to stay social also to be capable of enjoy moderation without splitting your pants before the New Year:

1.) Perform High-Intensity Activity Before and/or After a Big Meal or Holiday Feast

I know, I know. I promised diet strategies, but I simply cannot go without recommending some activity. Your is most receptive to higher calorie and/or carbohydrate meals within half an hour before and within three hours following high-intensity activity. Ideally, you would like to workout out before AND after a big meal, however, if you'll be able to only do one, which will suffice. It is less important once you undertake it and more important that you simply undertake it. Your best options will likely be twenty or so minutes of circuit weight training or cardio interval training. Even a 20-30 plus minute walk several hours afterward can serve as being a bit of damage control.

2.) Do NOT Fast in Preparation for the Big Meal or Holiday Feast

Fasting is preparation for the free meal doesn't just lead to overeating, but worse: overeating foods which can be elevated in sugar, fat, or both! Your body is often a survival mechanism. If it hasn't had food for a while it anticipates a famine state. This means that next time that you eat your body use quite as much of the incoming food as possible to hold as excess fat (survival energy) in anticipation that it certainly can't see food again for an additional any period of time. Do yourself and one's body a favor by consuming every two to four hours when you normally should prevent yourself from being a ravenous, fat-storing beast this winter holiday!

3.) Do NOT Gorge Yourself

Eat prior to the point of satisfaction, not discomfort. Remember this: binge eating just isn't the habit of lean individuals. It is important to recognize that those holiday your meals are not only a ticket to eat just as much as it is possible to in very little time as you can. However, listen to the body and make certain to take pleasure from the meals you are craving without excess and just eat when you are hungry.

4.) Eat a High-Fiber, Protein-Rich Meal An Hour Before a Holiday Event

A meal high in fiber and protein before a big holiday meal can help prevent overeating start by making you really feel more full which means fewer calories consumed throughout the ensuing feast. My favorite strategy is always to drink a protein shake with the added fiber and healthy fats (e.g. 2-4 Tbsp. flax meal) and 1 liter of water before such a meal to maintain me nice and full upon arrival. This way you'll not lose any friends to eat their dinner platter and you'll save your midsection from the fluffier existence!

5.) Eat Leans Proteins and Fruits and Vegetables FIRST

Just because it's actually a holiday meal does not imply you are able to't eat any nutritious food. Make sure to stock up on healthier food choices first and try to eat the maximum amount of lean meat, fish, and fruits and vegetables as you can on the start of each holiday event. This will leave less room to the unhealthier, higher-calorie treats. At least this way you know one's body becomes in certain good nutrition and you're not putting yourself at excessive risk for sickness and/or other health issues.

6.) Drink, Drink, Drink Water!

Water competes for space within your stomach and truly helps decrease appetite. For every plate, consume, try to drink at the very least 1-2 servings of water. After that second plate, when you have 1 full liter of water inside your stomach, I bet you could just throw inside towel!

7.) Do NOT Eat Again Until Hungry Following a Large Meal

Now I know I already said to nibble on every 2-4 hours, but there is certainly one exception for this. If you consume a huge meal, it is important not to consume again until you are hungry and/or no more full. If the body is just not employed to eating such a major meal, it will need an extremely longer time to digest everything food and the worst thing you are able to do is put more food into a currently full stomach, unless your ultimate goal would be to perform the stop, drop and roll drill. Only whenever you are hungry again in the event you resume your normal diet plan following a major holiday meal.

8.) Immediately Resume Your Normal Eating Schedule on the Next Meal

What's done is performed. Now it's time for it to make contact with your regular eating plan. Remember weekly calorie consumption is far more important than daily caloric intake. For example, let's say which you need 3,000 calories per day to take care of your overall bodyweight. Well, all that you have to do is make certain the average daily calorie consumption every week is 3,000 calories daily. This means that you'll be able to fluctuate your everyday calorie consumption and yield the same results as if you ate that same amount on a daily basis. So if you have one day of big eating where you consume 9,000 calories (just a sample, not a recommendation), but you only eat 2,000 calories each day the remainder of the week, you still turn out with the same caloric balance. Again, I am not recommending that you eat in such a severe manner, rather I am suggesting that you do not have to obsess about being perfect. Enjoy some indulging without excess at your various holiday festivities if you know the week in review trumps a day, even once you are particularly naughty on any given day.

9.) Never Eat Junk Food for Breakfast or Before Bed

Eating a highly refined carbohydrate meal very first thing within the morning could make your glucose levels go crazy for the remainder of the afternoon producing greater unhealthy food cravings and uncontrollable hunger. On the other hand, eating a huge meal before going to bed can lead to a bunch of unused energy which will be stored as body fat and you well might have trouble sleeping wonderful that extra food volume inside your stomach!

10.) Control your Portions

Try to eat only half of all of the servings of unhealthy food that you choose. Half of the portions equal half the calories!

11.) Avoid Empty Liquid Calories and Alcohol

One can easily consume over 1,000 calories per day from liquid calories alone. This means that in one week, you will gain 2 lbs of unwanted fat from just fluids! Opt for regular solid food calories versus empty liquid calories (e.g. juices and soda pops), for a minimum of the foodstuff will satisfy you and provide some nutrition whereas liquid calories, particularly alcohol, haven't any such effect. Rather, sugary and/or alcoholic drinks tend to make you hungrier generally speaking and sometimes hungrier for unhealthy food especially. Furthermore, one's body cannot burn up fat before alcohol is processed out of the body in addition to the fact that consumption of alcohol lowers leptin levels thus defeating one of the primary purposes of this flexible eating (decreased leptin levels increase hunger and decreases the body's using fat for fuel). Thus over-consumption of alcohol can avoid the weight loss process from resuming until a few days later and/or even cause unwanted fat gain and thus cost you as little as a few days to as long like a full week!

12.) Use Lower Calorie/Carbohydrate Substitutes Whenever Possible

Instead of employing sugar, choose zero-calorie alternatives like Splenda or stevia. They can deliver much the same taste without every one of the extra sugar and calories. Even try replacing yeast with protein powder whenever you bake. The extra protein and reduced carbohydrates will lead to a slimmer you while still providing some great tasting treats! Your goal should be to get the minimal volume of calories that could provide a similar great taste which makes the vacation treats enjoyable instead of simply overdoing it since you can!

13.) Avoid Eating Meals which can be High in Both Fat and Carbohydrates

The absolute worst thing that you can do is to have a meal that's loaded with both fat and carbs. The high amount of carbs will cause a rapid increase in blood sugar and so large increases within the potent fat-storing hormone Insulin. The high amount of fat will cause a large surge in free essential fatty acids inside your bloodstream. Since Insulin has already been present in considerable amounts, in addition to there like a large amount of free essential fatty acids now available with your blood, takes place is set for anyone free fat to be gobbled up and stored because of your fat cells. This may be the same in principle as becoming the following Goodyear blimp, so it's imperative to use caution at your holiday meals when it comes to combining fat (particularly saturated fats) and carbs (particularly starches and refined sugars). In general, it's best to pick one within the other. But since most people crave carbs at their free meals, it can be essential to maintain your fat low at this meal. Want pasta? Instead of alfredo sauce, opt for a marinara sauce with wholemeal pasta. Want pizza? Make your pizza with whole-grain crust and fat-free cheese. Want mashed potatoes? Well then make sure to skip the gravy and go easy for the butter. These small changes can help you save hundreds, even thousands of calories, and more importantly prevents your holiday feasts from creating the best fat-storing environment that may amount to from achieving your quality of life and fitness goals.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #142

“and how can i blame you when it’s me i can’t forgive?”

What was the longest time you’ve liked someone?  Like... five years. Do you have make-up on?  No. Have you kissed anybody in the last 4 days?  My kitty. When you are out with your friends, are you loud and outgoing or shy?  With Colleen, like the only friend I hang out with, I'm definitely more outgoing. Would you prefer to date someone taller, shorter, or the same height as you?  I couldn't care less about your height. Ever spent the night in a tent?  My sisters and I used to do that with Dad a lot.  We'd "camp" out in the yard. Have you ever cried while reading a book?  Yes. Do you have anyone who is a surrogate parent/sibling to you?  No. Can you snap your fingers?  Yeah. Can you wink?  Only with my right eye. Have you played mini golf recently?  Nooo.  The last time I did that was on a date with Jason for I think our... two years?  So in other words, a long time ago. Who were the last three people you texted?  Sara, Mom, and Colleen. Cereal or bagels?  Bagels. Have you ever seen a stand up comedian?  No, but I'd love to. Corn on the cob or canned corn?  Canned I guess, the fact on the cob is very difficult to eat with my lip ring being a factor. Who’re your top five favorite singers?  Uhhh Brendon Urie and Patrick Stump are easily the top, but besides them, uhhhh... I love David Coverdale's voice, as well as Sebastian Bach's.  And then of course Ozzy's voice is the most unique I know, and I love his vocal range. What was the last amusement park you went to?  I couldn't tell you. Where did you last go swimming at?  Atlantic Ocean. Who was there?  Colleen and Bradley. When was the last time you changed in front of people?  Uhhh probably some time ago when Mom was present, I guess? What day were you born?  Apparently on a Monday. Is cheerleading considered a sport?  I think it is.  It takes effort to do. Do you have/had a treehouse?  No. What about a swing set?  Yes. Would you rather be buried or cremated when you die?  Cremated, please. Have you been hit by a car?  Whoa no. Have you ever seen someone die?  Animals. Do you have the right time set on your microwave?  Yeah. Do you like Tootsie Rolls?  Ew no. Do you or have you ever smoked cigarettes?  No. Have you ever jumped off a high dive into a pool?  No. Have you ever worn someone’s else’s boyfriend’s hoodie?  Not to my knowledge. Do you know how to play any card games, well?  No. Have you ever played any form of Zelda?  Tyler got me to try I think uhhhhh Ocarina of Time one time he was over, but I wasn't really into it. What’s your full heritage?  German, Irish, and Polish is what we're aware of. What shampoo do you use?  Suave. What’s your favorite t-shirt have on it?  That would probably be my Otep shirt since I like how it fits me.  It has a maroon Ouroboros on it with the band name. Did you like some certain bands before they got famous?  Yeah. How important do you consider your pets, if you have any?  They're the only children I ever want. When’s the last time someone of the opposite sex told you they miss you?  Sam, a month or two back. Are you more optimistic or pessimistic?  I'm definitely a realist.  I couldn't tell you which of those I lean more towards. Are you comfortable with your weight?  NOPE.  But I'm making an effort to get to the weight I want. How often do you listen to classic rock?  Frequently.  I'll get in the mood to binge classic rock and metal on my iPod. What about country?  Pretty much anytime I'm with Colleen. Is anyone in your family sick?  No. Whose house did you visit last?  Colleen's. Could you have sex with the last person you text messaged? We're both female, so.  Even I could, no.  She's just my friend. Have you ever kissed in the rain?  Yeah. Do you have any friends you have never gotten into an argument with?  Yup, Connie. Have you ever helped someone while they were drunk puking?  No. Do you prefer glazed or powdered donuts?  Glazed. Who did you last spoon with?  Sara. If you wear tampons, do you prefer cardboard or plastic applicators?  There's cardboard?????  Guess it's obvious which I use, that being said. Would you ever consider getting an abortion, under any circumstances?  If my life was threatened, I probably would.  I'm sorry, I'm not giving up my life for a child that would have to be the result of rape.  If I got pregnant having sex with my own consent (and my life wasn't endangered), I feel I'd likely go through it.  Then it's my own fault. When was the last time you felt turned on?  About a week ago when I was talking to Sara, only semi-joking that I had reason to believe she had a kinky side. What’s the largest animal you’ve ever had as a pet? A boxer mix. Do you ever put fruit on your cereal?  No, it's gross imo. Were your grandparents present when you were born? Very doubtful.  They didn't live in NC. Have you ever played the game Angry Birds?  No. What is something unusual that annoys you?  I get way more annoyed than called for when people go in or out the wrong door. Name three things apart from trust and loyalty that you need in a relationship.  No desire for children because that would obviously cause an issue, good core values and beliefs, patience with my mental issues. Would you be upset if you had a child who decided to make “adult films?”  Um I'd be fucking furious. Do you prefer to be the big spoon or little spoon?  Little spoon with a guy, but I'm for either with a girl.  With Sara I've always been the big, probs because she's such a tiny thing. Do you prefer to be tied up or do the tying? (bondage) Ummm I'd probably like being the one tied up. If you just met someone and found out they were a psychopath, if you knew they would never harm you, would you like to be their friend?  No.  No.  And no. What do you think makes you the most different compared to everyone else your age?  The sheer level of my anxiety.  It's kept me from a job, from driving.  It affects so many parts of me. What personality characteristic gets you in trouble the most?  Just how sensitive I am. What personality characteristic gets you the most friends?  Probably how open-minded and tolerant I am. If you are in a relationship (or in your last relationship), how many times have you considered leaving?  I've never considered it. Of all of your friends' significant others, who do you get along with best? And least? I legit have one friend here who's in a relationship, and that's Colleen.  Her husband's great. If marriage is something that you see in your future, is there anything non-traditional about your ideas (for example, a non-diamond ring, no proposal, eloping, etc.)?  Uh I guess the fact I doubt I'll wear white, nor will I marry in a church? What would your life be like if you had married your first love?  Jc I don't even wanna picture that.  I'd be with a dick who didn't have faith in my abilities. Have you ever been told off for the way you were dressed (by a parent, teacher, spouse, etc.)?  No, not "told off."  People have voiced their disapproval of some choices, but no one's ever gone that far. If you have siblings, are you closer now or were you closer as children? As children.  Well, maybe I'm closer to Ashley now. Have you ever had a platonic friend that everyone insisted you should be in a relationship with?  That was the story of Girt and me. Is there anything about a person's sexual past that might stop you from wanting to date them?  Yup. What was the biggest mistake of your life? Did you rectify it or just move on?  Letting Jason become my entire universe.  I corrected it. Have you ever done something sexual that you regret?  Ummmm no, I guess. Ever been close to dying?  Umm I'm actually not sure... I don't know what would've happened if I didn't go to the ER after I overdosed.  Don't know what would've happened without drowning me in fluids. Can you drive, and if you can, do you like it?  I have a permit, and I hate driving.  It's terrifying.  I don't trust people.  I mean I've been told by Mom I usually drive fine, save for the fact my speed goes up and down by about 5 mph, and I canNOT park around others and have very little perception of how far away the hood of the car is from what is in front of it. Have you ever said anything to the last person you kissed that you regret?  Yeah. Would you rather eat cookies or brownies?  Soft cookies. Have you and a friend ever gone after the same person?  Not to my knowledge. What is your cell phone wallpaper of?  My lock screen and home screen are different pics of Sara and me. Has the electricity ever gone out when you were at school?  Yes. Do you lead people on? Noooo. Do you want someone dead?  Not anyone I know specifically, but like.  Rapists, pedophiles, and the like, I do. Have you ever been told that you were going to Hell?  She pretty much did. What was the last movie you watched?  I fucking FINALLY watched Johnny Got His Gun. What’s the latest you have ever stayed out?  Good question.

[realtalk-princeton]

Before princeton i had BED- it started when I was 11-12ish and became uncontrollable in my last couple of years of school. Fortunately I’m pretty active and cycled pretty much daily so binging on 3000 calories at a time 2-3 times a week only made me borderline overweight at its worse. When I got to Princeton I found it harder to access my favorite binge food so my BED almost completely went, and I haven’t binged since November now. Having said that, since August 2017 I’ve lost 26lbs, partially

[cont.]Through trying to lose a bit last year but mostly from eating less this year. Since the weather started getting warmer though I’ve really lost all willingness to eat and can only force myself to go to max 2 small meals a day. My friends haven’t noticed but none of my clothes fit anymore. I’m worried both about going back home for summer because my family might notice (they last saw me in January) and also that my metabolism has slowed and now I’m too scared to eat more than 1000 calories a day[cont.] because its going to make me fatter and even after losing so much I’m still nowhere near having a flat stomach. I’m pretty sure I’ll be able to be fine with maintaining once I lose about another 5-10lbs but I know the amount I’m eating currently is unhealthy, so any advice for getting to my goal more healthily? I’m also scared im gonna start binging again in the summer

Response from Clipper:

Hey anon- I am so sorry you’re going through this. TL;DR: hang in there; you have the strength to overcome this and create healthier, lifelong patterns for yourself.

I currently suffer from mildly disordered eating which arose from going on my medications at college (not eating during the day, then bingeing late at night when my evening medications kick in).  I used to also very strictly control my eating in high school before I was diagnosed with my various mental and bodily afflictions (gotta catch ‘em all, it seems) because it gave me warped a sense of control over my life.

I’m gonna give you some overall good feelings-type advice. Then, I’ve enlisted one of my best friends to give a longer answer, as they went through something more directly aligned with what you’ve described here. Here goes:

I know it sounds impossible to think of, but you can get a stranglehold on this sucker and pull yourself through to the other side. It unfortunately takes more work than continuing as you are now- and will involve you eating sometimes when you (or your body) don’t want to in order to get your metabolism up to shape again. But it’s important, and as I said up top: you have the strength to do it. Having a flat stomach is not a measure of health nor is it a good goal to have. A healthy resting stomach is typically not flat. 

When I was in high school, to help myself eat enough throughout the day, I started a food diary. I would just list off the things I ate so that I could visually make sure I ate enough. Don’t use an app for this, as these tend to count calories- which is not what this exercise is for. It’s to help make sure you eat enough and to help you become accountable for your food cycles and habits. 

Passing onto my friend now for more practical advice: 

Congratulations on not bingeing since November!! That is a huge accomplishment. But you are overcompensating in the other direction by restricting and you will inevitably slip back into a binge-purge cycle if you continue to restrict your intake. TRUST ME. 1000 calories a day is nowhere near enough for anyone. Stop worrying about what might happen in the future and focus on being present and creating daily habits and practicing today. Take it one day at a time. Losing weight is addictive and it is difficult not to be seduced when you see yourself shrinking. This is the hardest part imo but you have to try to stop equating your self-worth with your weight and start appreciating your amazing body for all the miraculous things it does to keep you alive and healthy.

I suffered from anorexia and overexercising in high school. I lost weight rapidly but it was not about appearance; I didn’t have a choice but to do what I thought was “healthy”. I went into starvation mode from restricting calories and exercising too much; I never felt hungry and developed horrible stomach pains, dangerous electrolyte imbalances and kidney problems. I developed exercise bulimia once I started bingeing and exercising extra hard to “work off” the thousands of calories I’d consumed while bingeing. I had been eating so little that bingeing was my body’s last resort to try to keep me alive. When I came to Princeton is when it got really bad. When I would binge, my body kicked into its most primal mode of survival and I would completely dissociate and go into a fugue state and just eat everything in sight. I would steal food from my roommates and stores and even eat out of the trash. I was bingeing so frequently that I gained about 50 lbs in a few months. I finally sought help my freshman year here and found my wonderful therapist who I still see weekly. I went through IOP and day programs and spent two weeks in a residential facility but it wasn’t until taking a year off and really examining my life that I began to really overcome it. I still put too much emphasis on being skinny and my eating habits are still irregular, but I let myself eat whatever I want and have not counted calories in years. I also stopped exercising altogether and am trying to gradually reintroduce gentler forms like yoga and walking into my routine. I am at peace with where I am right now. The thought of gaining weight still scares me somewhat but it does not rule me like it used to and I know that if I gain a few pounds no one will notice but me and everyone will still love and care for me. Today I ate a whole pizza and sat in bed all day, which to most may not seem “healthy”, but compared to where I was a few short years ago, this is enormous growth for me. It is a constant process that takes daily practice and in June I will be graduating with two degrees: one AB and one ED.

Stop weighing yourself. Give or throw away your scale right now. Stop trying to lose weight and focus on being well. Make an appointment with a nutritionist (your dsl has referrals) and ask them to monitor your habits and do blind weigh-ins. Also make an appointment with a therapist and/or psychiatrist if you don’t have one. Prozac has been known to help with BED at certain doses so they might recommend you that. Make sure you’re eating three balanced meals a day; they can be small in size but make sure you have a good balance of protein, carbs, fats, and fruits/veggies. Never go more than 4 hours without eating something because that will cause your blood sugar to dip and will make you more likely to binge later. Make a daily schedule with evenly spaced meal times that are realistic work for you and make sure to add snacks so you’re not going too long without eating. If you have a roommate, tell them you’re watching what you eat (you don’t have to go into detail if you don’t want) and ask them to help you and keep food in your space limited or ask them to keep it in their room. Pay close attention to your hunger cues; notice what times of day you tend to be hungriest.

STOP. COUNTING. CALORIES. Caloric labels are inaccurate and you do not know exactly how much energy you’re expending each day and it’s all so arbitrary it doesn’t mean anything anyway. The internet is not always your friend. Stop looking up calorie counts of foods and block websites that could trigger you to obsess. Start trying to listen to what your body needs instead of intellectualizing what you think you should need. Continue moderate exercise and be aware that if you exercise more you may be hungrier and will definitely need to eat more. But intense exercise can also suppress appetite.Keep it to 30-40 mins of cardio 3-5 days a week, ALTERNATE with strength training days, with COMPLETE REST DAYS in between. If you feel restless on the days you don’t exercise, take a calm walk or try meditating or gentle stretching. And make sure you DO NOT BY ANY MEANS restrict your intake on the days you’re not exercising; rest days are when your muscles rebuild and they need food for that!Drink at least 64oz of water a day and more if you exercise and/or drink caffeine. 

ALSO no one has a completely flat stomach and it fluctuates with your digestion and cycles anyway. If you feel bloated, try herbal teas like ginger and mint (really anything with ginger in it) but avoid “detox” or “flat belly” teas and supplements that contain laxatives because that is a slippery slope. Also avoid very salty snack foods that can make you retain water, avoid chewing too much gum which can make you swallow air and get belly bloat, and avoid anything with sugar substitutes like aspartame because those can also wreak havoc on your digestion. Eat full-calorie and full-fat versions of things, avoid “lite”, low-fat and sugar free snacks. Don’t drink too much caffeine either because it can have an appetite suppressant effect and make it harder for you to eat normally. ..You are young and your metabolism will recover as you begin to eat normally again and your weight will settle at a place that is right for you. Your pulse is probably slow and might you feel cold because you are not eating enough. You will NOT become overweight by eating regularly. Please trust the process; I know it feels impossible and it’s super triggering to have to eat when you don’t want to or you aren’t hungry but you have to start refeeding now or you may begin doing permanent damage to your body. It’s too much to do alone so seek the help of experts and listen to them. Stop fooling yourself. Take time off if you need and be honest with everyone but most importantly with yourself.

If it helps, make a list of things you like about yourself and your body and especially your heart and mind. Stop fixating on imperfections. If you have a lot of mirrors around, get rid of them. If your clothes don’t fit, get new clothes. You deserve to feel good and restricting/losing weight/bingeing/purging (exercise is a form of purging!!!) might be a temporary high but will not make you feel good in the long run. Stop making excuses. If you haven’t eaten three meals yet today, go get dinner as soon as you can. The best time to start is right now. Best of luck, you brave ED warrior.

[mensbodybuildingtips]

NPC Figure Competitor Megan Donnelson Interviews with Directlyfitness.com

NPC Figure Rival Megan Donnelson Interviews with Directlyfitness.com

Quick stats:

Height: 5'4”

Weight: 130-135 (Off-Season), 122-125 (Contest)

Titles: NPC National Level Figure Competitor

Upcoming Events: NPC National Muscle building Championships, November 9-10 in Atlanta, GA

1. How did you start with bodybuilding?

I ran out of sports to play! I needed an additional obstacle. Body building, for me, started as simply a leisure activity, a way for me to remain active after leaving college softball behind. Promptly, it transformeded into my way of life. The more I found out about body building as well as nourishment, the a lot more I intended to learn. I love what weight training has done for my body and health, as well as just what it will remain to do for me throughout the years. I could truthfully state that I have actually never really felt stronger or healthier compared to I do today.

2. Where does your motivation come from?

My inspiration comes from my wish to much better myself. I enjoy difficulties, and also I enjoy finding out. I love knowing that there is constantly room for enhancement, and also I can constantly be better compared to I was yesterday. I like when people inform me that I have influenced them in some method. That encourages me.

3. Exactly what is your training regular like?

My training generally includes a 4-5 day body part split.

For example:

Monday - Chest and Bis

Tuesday - Legs

Wednesday - Off

Thursday - Shoulders and Tris

Friday - Back and Abs

Saturday - Add-in a 2nd (lighter) day for a body part that could require extra training

Sunday - Off

4. What sort of cardio do you feel works best for you?

HIIT (High Strength Interval Training) is my favored kind of cardio! It's terrific for shedding fat, and also doesn't consume away at my hard-earned muscle. I want to blend my HIIT between sprints, plyos, as well as track workouts. For recuperation, I will toss in the periodic LISS cardio session with a jog or a long stroll to provide my legs a break.

5. What are the most typical mistakes you see people make while achieving their optimal physique?

They give up. They do not see outcomes quickly enough as well as they stop. They don't recognize that in order to achieve a healthy figure, it takes non-stop dedication in the health club and also in the kitchen area. That is why being fit is a lifestyle.

6. Just how does your on and off season training and also diet differ?

It actually doesn't differ much. Unless I'm on my deathbed, I don't require time off from the health club. The fitness center is my satisfied area. In the off season, I lessen my cardio and also my diet is a little less "tight", but my training stays extreme all year 'round.

7. Do you often tend to concentrate on training, nutrition, or both?

Both. They go together. If you focus on one and not the other, you're not getting the very best results. And also let's not forget ... you cannot out educate a negative diet!

8. What's your diet like?

Right now I am prepping and weight loss for a competition, so my diet is a bit much more structured compared to typical. I eat a number of the very same foods whether I'm prepping or not, however in off season I do not pay as much interest to weighing or measuring my food. Commonly, I will certainly divide my fats as well as carbohydrates so I'm not consuming them in the same meal.

Fats as well as carbohydrates are both resources of power and way too much of both could equal extra fat storage, so I maintain mine separate.

A sample day of my diet:

Meal 1:

5-6 Egg Whites

1/2 Cup of Oatmeal or 1/4 Cup Oat meal with 1/2 Mug Berries

Meal 2:

Whey Protein Shake

Serving of cashews

Meal 3:

4-6oz of: Poultry, Lean Ground Turkey, Lean Hamburger, or Fish

Baked Sweet Potato (3-4oz)

1 Cup Veggies (Broccoli, Peppers, and also Cauliflower are my favorites)

Meal 4:

4-6 oz of: Chicken, Lean Ground Turkey, Lean Ground Beef, or Fish

1 Cup Veggies

1 T Olive Oil

Meal 5:

Post-Weight Workout: Whey Protein Shake

Fruit (Apple or Banana)

Meal 6:

Casein Protein Shake

2T All-natural Peanut Butter or Almond Butter

9. Do you rely on cheat dishes? Why or why not? Example of yours?

I do, yet I want to describe them as "treats". Treating myself from time to time assists me to remain on track with my lifestyle, if that makes feeling. Restricting yourself from every little thing "negative" usually only causes a binge later on. When you train tough as well as diet plan hard, a reward every now and then (in moderation!) will not kill your results. Among my preferred reward meals is sushi with ice lotion for dessert!

10. Which physical feature you are most proud of?

My shoulders, because they are my preferred feature! Likewise my back, because it's been my most difficult body component to establish, yet after 3 years it's slowly coming together.

11. If you might change something regarding your physique what would it be?

Wouldn' t transform a thing. My current body is a straight result of my difficult work, and also I love it.

12. What supplements do you utilize if any type of? Otherwise, why not?

Whey Protein Powder - I utilize this primarily pre/post-workout due to the fact that it's a rapid absorbing healthy protein and enters your system quickly.

Casein Protein Powder - Take an inside story of this right prior to bed due to the fact that it's a slower absorbing protein.

BCAA (Branched-Chain Amino Acids) - First point in the early morning (particularly if doing a.m. fasted cardio), pre/post-workout, and before bed.

Glutamine - Message exercise (cardio and weights), and also prior to bed for muscle mass recovery.

CLA (Conjugated Linoleic Acid) - Take this with each meal to aid in fat reduction.

Multi-vitamin - Take each morning!

13. Favored Body builders, models, or athletes?

I have amazing amounts of regard for professional athletes generally, specifically bodybuilders. Arnold Schwarzenegger has actually constantly been just one of my favorites. The initial, traditional bodybuilders are an unusual breed. Not having all the sources that we do today, they made their expertise of the sport by trial-and-error, by exactly what benefited their bodies. They aided construct bodybuilding right into exactly what it is today.

14. Do you listen to songs while you exercise? If so what kind gets you pumped up?

Absolutely! I'm constantly rocking out between embed in the fitness center. Techno as well as house music is generally just what you could find on my iPod.

15. Exactly what is your most significant desire in fitness?

My greatest fitness dream is to eventually uncover just exactly what I can, and see where my drive and capabilities can take me. I have numerous physical fitness fantasizes that I intend to chase, my existing one being: making the chance to compete as a professional figure competitor. Ultimately, I would certainly like to have my own fitness center or health and fitness studio!

16. Do you have a favorite quote?

I have two!

" The future comes from those that count on the appeal of their desires."

Don' t be terrified to dream big! When you do, you need to locate the digestive tracts to go out there as well as make those desires come true!

" What do I be afraid? I are afraid stagnancy and lack of development. I are afraid never ever reaching my potential and also being typical. I fear being neglected. The past. The other day's news. I are afraid quiting and also being passed by, going gently right into that good evening. I are afraid resolving, providing in to the 'that's simply the method it is' mindset. I are afraid not feeling these concerns any longer and just drifting along. These anxieties feed me, they nourish my drive. I like my fear." This is the fear of winners!

17. What last 3 ideas would you provide to our viewers to reach their fitness goals?

1 - Educate on your own! With all the sources readily available to you, there must be NO justification for living a careless as well as unhealthy way of living. Take some time and also browse the web, have a look at health and also body building publications. See just what you could learn!

2 - Don't take too lightly the significance of a healthy diet regimen. If you're training and training as well as not seeing your wanted results, then you most likely should take a look at exactly what you're eating.

3 - Do not give up! It's NOT going to be easy! If it were easy, would not every person be in shape and also healthy and balanced? Whenever you think about quitting or offering in to temptation (since there will be times), simply remember your objective and why you started.

Bodyspace: www.bodyspace.bodybuilding.com/MissMegan Facebook: www.facebook.com/MeganDonnelsonNPCFigureAthlete

[morganshayz]

I have struggled with true happiness for most of my life.  My childhood has some good parts, but if I really think about it, I can make myself see it for what it truly was.  My father caused a lot of pain for my family.  I don’t talk about it much because when you tell people they don’t realize how bad it actually was.  They weren't there.  I had a very brief moment of actual happiness for I don't even know how long.  It’s really just a small group of memories.  Sleepovers at the air force base with my friends, sneaking to the playground after base curfew to talk in the tunnels and slides, writing stories together, all reading the same books at the same time, me being introduced to anime, car washes with my best friend every Wednesday, youth night at church, and going to the movies together.  Then everything just got bad.  

All of my friends became very close with each other and formed mini groups out of our single group and some got boyfriends and I tried so hard to keep all of it together.  I was the glue.  I made sure we all still met up for movies and sleepovers.  All of junior year to the beginning of my senior year in high school was hell on earth.  Three of my closest friends became their own little group and kept secrets between the three of them.  One of the girls within that many group entered into an abusive relationship.  She is now moving in with him this summer.  I got into a fight with one of the other three girls at the end of my first semester of high school because I told her that I could feel her pulling away from me and that I really missed her.  She got angry and we just decided to agree to disagree on the subject. Things are still different between us.  The last girl in that group was never that close with me in the first place anyways.  My best friend “fell in love” and changed religions for the guy and that caused a HUGE shift in our relationship.  She quit talking to me and pretty much left me for dead.  We are roommates now, but EVERYTHING is different now and it will never be the same again.  Another friend graduated the year before us, he is at the same college as most of us, but he has a girlfriend now and every time I try to plan something with him he either won't answer me or says he can't because he has other plans.  

All of these people are so very precious to me.  They were my family when my real family couldn’t be.  I will always love and care about them so much.  They are still great people.  MA (the girl moving in with her horrible boyfriend) is so sensitive and sweet.  She always tries to listen to everyone’s needs and help in any way possible.  She also tries really hard to not rock the boat.  She is trying to get into film school to do animation.  NG (the girl who pulled away) is so extroverted.  She loves people.  She’s loud and obnoxious at times.  She is the most frugal person and also one of the most beautiful people on the planet and she is currently studying to be a nurse.  MB (the girl I’m not close with) is very logical and has a very different sense of humor.  She can get stressed and overwhelmed pretty easily, but she’s pretty in tune with other people and gives amazing advice.  She (finally) got her first job.  HS (my best friend) is a hopeless romantic, she loves art and journals and wash tape.  She is hella organized and just always has her shit together.  She can also be pretty negative and has a sense of entitlement.  She loves movies and Maroon 5 and the idea of being in love, marriage, and sex.  JW (the guy friend) is one of the most emotional and caring guys I have ever met.  He feels so much and tries so hard to make sure everyone is okay.  He is very practical and realistic.  He wants a very mediocre life. He says so all the time.  He can take jokes a little too far on occasion, and be a prick to girls he isn't dating (because we become like guy friends to him).

In between all of this, I met two of my very best friends my senior year of high school.  They showed me what friendship is actually supposed to be like. I was always giving for these people because of how much I cared about them, but they never gave anything back.  They left me empty and alone in the long run.  No matter what, I will still be there for them though.  It’s just not in me to leave people that I love so much.  Even if it is toxic.  TN (friend I made senior year) has been one of the best people I have ever had the honor of knowing.  He has blessed my life in so many ways.  He cared about me when no one else did.  He saw me when I was not okay.  He actually listened. He didn’t try to offer advice or tell me how easily fixed all my problems were.  He just sat there and listened even when I talked about things he knew absolutely nothing about. I will always view him and the best and healthiest friendship I have ever had.  KS (the other friend i met senior year) is a lot of things.  She can be a little bossy and opinionated, but it was because she cared.  Every once in awhile advice she gave came off as more of an insult or a demand, but she was still there for me when others weren't.  She had her good days and bad days and no one can really blame her for that.  She would send me pins and text me at 4am just to say something completely random and ridiculous.  She was just a breathe of fresh air in my life.  She really helped me start to move out of being a doormat for others and for that I will forever be grateful.  Both of these people have since fallen in love and have wonderful lives they are building for themselves and trust me they deserve it more than anyone else I have mentioned.  They made me come up out of whatever I was stuck in for a year.  

But now that it’s back to just me, I have gotten so much worse.  I can’t even bring myself to shower most days or do my homework.  I sleep in most of my classes no matter how much sleep i get even though I've taken out thousands of dollars in loans for college.  I binge eat every single meal I eat.  I don’t do anything productive ever.  I just sit and stare and lay in bed doing nothing.  Life doesn’t feel worth it.  Everyone around me has found their thing whether it’s a career, major, significant other, whatever and I have found nothing.  There is no reason for me to be here.  I do have a major but I won’t make much money doing it and it makes me question whether I can actually do it.  The only thing I have to look forward to right now is AKon.  That’s it. I don’t know how I'm going to pull myself up this time.  I just can’t do it.  I don’t know what its like to look forward to my own life.  Every year it just gets worse and worse.  I thought going  to college would make it better, but it has made everything way worse than it was.  I have made no new friends, I am drowning in homework, I make barely enough money to feed myself on days the caf is closed and to get gas.  I don’t even own any jeans right now because I can’t afford them.  I gained like ten pounds in a month.  I can’t replace my makeup so I can’t even get ready and practice self care.  The caf has no healthy food except salads and canned fruit.  I don’t have enough time to do laundry.  I can’t go to bed on time.  My libido is all over the place all the time.  My roommate won’t let me turn the a/c on and I am dying.  I am also incurably sad.  All of those things stress me out and then I feel like there’s no point.  Why am I even here? I have nothing and no one.  I don’t know what to do or how to fix all of this.  

       I never wanted this to happen

       Never wanted this to die

       But I’ve pushed myself down so far

       I couldn’t come back if I tried

-MZ

[jonasmaurer]

045: How sugar affects your brain and how to deal with cravings

In today’s episode, I’m chatting all about sugar cravings and how I deal with them, especially during the holiday season.

Short transcript:

During the holidays, it’s pretty much an avalanche of sugary treats. I think it’s important to note that the holidays can’t derail your fitness and nutrition progress. Focus on the healthy habits that make you feel good, enjoy the holidays, and give yourself grace. I thought for today I’d talk about sugar cravings, especially since Halloween is tomorrow and from now until New Year’s, there’s a chance that some type of dessert will be staring at you in the face for the next three months. Let’s chat about sugar cravings, why sometimes they’re more prevalent and intense than others, and what I do when I’m constantly craving sweet treats. 

Here’s what happens to your brain when you consume sugar:

Sugar affects your dopamine response, which is your brain’s reward system. Frequent consumption of sugar affects the gene expression and availability of dopamine receptors in the brain. Over time, it takes more and more sugar to attain the same level of sugar high in the brain, which causes you to crave more. Rodents in studies exhibited the same response to sugar that they did to addictive drugs, like heroin and cocaine. They also exhibited intense withdrawal symptoms when their access to sugar was removed, like teeth chattering, head shaking, and paw tremors. (Source.)

When you’re constantly exposed to sugar, you will crave it more and more often. It’s also added to everything, whether it’s being used as a preservative or to improve taste (like in pasta sauce!). 

Here’s what I do if I feel like I’m craving sugar more often than usual:

– I try to assess if I’m overtired, hungry, or dehydrated. These three things usually cause me to turn into a bit of a sugar monster because I’m seeking cheap energy. When I have a ton of sugar, I feel energized for about a half hour and then crash hard. If I’m sleep deprived, I go to bed a little earlier that night. If I haven’t had a real meal in a bit, I make myself something nutritious to eat before diving into the chocolate chip bag. 

– I also assess my stress levels. The dopamine response from sugar can provide relief when you’re feeling anxious or stressed. If I know I’m more stressed out than usual, I’ll take a little CBD, meditate for 5 minutes, or spend some time outside with the girls. 

– I focus on more balance in my meals. Sugar cravings are usually a good clue that your diet isn’t macro-balanced. Each meal and snack should contain a mix of protein, fats, and carbs. This combination is going to stabilize blood sugar and help prevent sugar cravings. I think it’s important to have some type of carb with most meals, even if it’s a vegetable or fruit based carb for satiety. 

– Once or twice a year, I cut out processed sugary foods cold turkey for about a month. This helps to reset my cravings. I know it’s usually time for a reset when fruit doesn’t taste sweet to me. If biting into an apple tastes like water, I know it’s time for a little reset. I’m not super strict about it – like I still have dates, honey and maple syrup – but I do avoid processed sugary treats like cakes, cookies, and brownies. 

– I eat it and enjoy it! If I eat a dessert, I want it to be worth my while! I focus on things that look indulgent and exciting. Store-bought stuff doesn’t usually do the trick for me. If I find myself truly craving something, like a pizookie from Oregano’s, nothing but a true pizookie is going to quell the beast. I’m a huge believer that deprivation leads to binging. If you want something, eat it and enjoy every bite! Then move on with your life. 

– My thoughts on healthified sweet treats: I think they’re awesome for more frequent treats. If you’re the type of person who wants a brownie every single day, I think having a sweet potato brownie on a regular basis is a healthier choice than a Duncan Hinds brownie or one from the local bakery because you’re getting bonus nutrients, like healthy fats and fiber. I’m a huge believer in balance, and absolutely think that sweet treats can and should be a part of your life. If there are healthy treats you like to have on hand, especially if you’re the type of person who likes a sweet bite after meals, there are so many amazing options out there, made with whole ingredients and less refined flours and sugars. 

Some of my favorite healthier dessert options: 

Pumpkin cheesecake

Crumble in a jar

Raw brownies

Microwave chocolate mug cake

Double chocolate protein muffin 

Chocolate avocado chia pudding

Click here to get 21 days of Les Mills on Demand for FREE. This is the perfect way to try new workouts during the busy holiday season, especially if you’re traveling or your schedule changes. The instructors are amazing and there’s so much variety to choose from. 

Thank you so much for listening and for all of your support with the podcast! Please leave a rating or review if you enjoyed this episode. If you leave a rating, head to this page and you’ll get a little “thank you” gift from me to you. 

You can listen and subscribe to the podcast on iTunes, Stitcher, and Google Play.

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