#literally all that i remember though that second one lives in my head rent free

[vvelegrin]

i've succumbed.

grabbed a copy of ender's game from ebay.

[mattslolita]

one of the girls - c. sturniolo

in which ... you're one of chris sturniolo's girls for the night of the versus tour. chris x black!fem!reader

warnings ; smut, fingering, cowgirl, creampie, unprotected piv ( wrap it freak hoes )

"𝒊 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂 𝒃𝒆 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒈𝒊𝒓𝒍𝒔 𝒕𝒐𝒏𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕."

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ꒰

every moment since you had bought the tickets, you'd been waiting for this day for months — the let's trip versus tour. you've been a fan of the sturniolo triplets since late 2022, and since you weren't able to make the first tour, here was your second chance in 2023 to make the versus tour.

you and your best friend alize had been trying to pick out the perfect outfit for you both to wear, having switched things up many times in between since you wanted it to be a perfect day.

even though as a nick girl she'd be wearing purple, you and alize wanted to match with each other to the t — her outfit contrasted yours only because she wore a cardigan instead of a puffer like you had. the amount of pictures you both took on the uber ride to the venue was insanity, as you both were twinning so hard.

when the day came, you felt excitement course throughout your body as you realized you'd soon be in close vicinity with chris sturniolo — you were a die hard avid for 'black girls 4 chris', something you and alize would joke about all the time. you liked to joke and say you were the number one chris girl ever, whilst alize said that she'd hands down be nick's favorite lesbian.

you knew sometimes your fangirling could get out of hand at times, as you found multiple occasions where chris was your wet dream or you often daydreamed about what it would be like to be with him. his voice, his hair, his personality, that smile, he had lived in your head rent free. you also knew chris probably had no issue at all when it came to hookups, but that wasn't something you cared about — even if it was for one night, one time, you wanted to be in their shoes. you wanted to know what it was like to be one of chris's girls.

the line at the venue had filled quickly, as you and alize had met several of your online friends you made from the fandom — the other girls were sweet and kind, and as you looked at the other chris girls in the crowd you briefly felt a wave of sadness as you thought that any of them could be the lucky one.

your worry dissipated though as you felt alize's excitement radiating off of her body, causing you to giggle. "girl, how are you feeling?"

"how you gon ask me that, y/n?" alize said in disbelief, causing you to giggle as she put a hand on her chest, "we literally finna be breathing the same air as nick sturniolo. hoe, i'm unwell."

some people shot alize dirty looks at her seemingly rude behavior, but both of you paid no mind to them — anyone who was friends with her knew that that's the way she joked around with people, the way she spoke in general.

"i'm so excited to see chris," you tell her dreamily, running a hand through your curly lace front you got done yesterday, "i hope i get picked as his teammate."

"laura's racist if she don't pick us to be one of they partners," alize whispered to you, causing you both to laugh as the line moved forward.

"remember, we get to get pictures and do small talk before the show starts, so make sure we're headed for that line!" you explain to alize who playfully rolls her eyes and swats your shoulder.

"girl chill out, i remember what our tickets said!" alize giggled, "i sure as hell remember how much we paid for them things, ain't no way i'm not speaking to them!"

"and then the merch," you whined, pouting your lips, "that shit was going into my funds for college next semester!"

"then you might wanna start looking for a j-o-b!" alize tells you knowingly, causing you to groan, "i told you, i can speak to my manager for you!"

"girl that man is a pervert, i'm not working there!" you say firmly, "how do you even deal with him?"

"why do you think i act like a dude every time i have a shift?" alize tells you knowingly, "you'll never catch me wearing stuff like this around him."

you felt yourself become excited again as you looped your arm with alize's looking at you guys' matching outfits. "i still can't believe how much we matched with each other!"

"what if we can get a group picture with me, you, nick, and chris?" alize wonders, "we'd all look fine as shit."

"i know chris probably looking fine as hell today," you whispered to alize, causing her to giggle at you.

"girl you always think he look fine," alize says with an eyeroll, causing you to nudge her shoulder playfully.

you could feel your nerves heighten as you got a view of the area where the triplets could be seen doing group photos with the fans. a nerve of both excitement and arousal coursed through your veins as your eyes landed on chris — stray hairs peaked from underneath his black backwards cap, his usual friendly smile painted across his features. you unknowingly bit your lip as you scanned his outfit, seeing as he was wearing an orange tasmanian devil shirt with black jeans white air forces — casual, yet he still turned you on so much.

you took a deep breath as the line drew closer, and you had an even better view of the triplets. they all looked so good, and you felt both excited and nervous at the fact that it would soon be you and alize's turn.

just as you had turned to whisper something alize, chris's eyes had somehow wondered over to you unbeknownst to you — his eyes wandered around the entirety of your outfit, drinking in your brown skin and your thick thighs which were somewhat hidden by your skirt. he almost smirked as he realized you had been dressed in all orange, letting him know you were a chris girl. his girl.

when you looked up from laughing at what alize had said, you could feel eyes on you — your breath almost caught in your throat when you realized he was checking you out. you bite your lip nervously as he swiped his thumb over his nose before giving you a small smirk, directing his attention back towards the fans who were next in line.

you could've melted right then and there, now having to clench your thighs at this. there's no way chris sturniolo was checking you out just now? your mind had to be playing tricks on you.

then again, you didn't doubt chris had thought some fans were were cute. he definitely wouldn't have had any problem hooking up with the older fans if they let him, you definitely would've wanted to hookup with him.

your nerves skyrocket even more when you realize you and alize are up next.

the security ushers you towards nick first, who offers you a warm smile and outstretched arms. "hi, love!"

"hi nick!" you say, hugging him quickly before you make your way towards matt. "hi matt!"

matt gives you a smile, hugging you back as you go to chris next.

his eyes are already on you, having watched your interaction with his brothers — a small smirk is on his face as he pulls you in for a hug, his hands dangerously close to your ass as they reside on your waist. "hi, gorgeous."

it comes out a sort of whisper, which causes your cheeks to warm as you pull away from him with a shy smile. "hi, chris."

you turn to see alize already positioned in between nick and matt, so you took that as the initiative to put yourself in between chris and matt as well. nick puts his arms around alize with a smile, whilst both matt and chris put their arms around you.

well, matt's arm stays around your neck, while chris slips his around your waist, giving it a gentle squeeze causing you to clench your thighs together.

the picture snaps twice, and you turn to wave a quick goodbye to both nick and matt. chris smirks, sending a subtle smack to your ass as you give him a shy wave and you leave with alize.

you still couldn't believe what just happened — you debated on telling alize, but she was so caught up in rambling about the fact that she just hugged and smelled nick so you just giggled with her and let her talk.

the show soon started, and unfortunately you did not get picked to be chris's teammate — but you and alize squealed of excitement when laura asked if she wanted to be nick's teammate. of course that girl was not finna pass that up.

you were front and center of the stage, watching as the show took place in front of you — you knew your eyes weren't playing tricks on you when you saw the glances chris kept sneaking at you. you couldn't help but let your doe eyes wander and stay on his, even when you were recording alize and nick. you had almost missed the perfect swish alize made with the basketball, causing you to cheer loudly for your best friend.

when chris had walked near your side of where the stage was, he gave you a subtle wink to which you smiled and blinked your doe eyes up at him. you were hoping other girls couldn't see it, as they would be quick to make stupid assumptions, because it's not like anything was happening.

the show soon ended, leaving you both nervous and excited once again since you and alize had the small talk with them now. unfortunately you and alize ended up being one of the last people in line, since she accidentally left her phone somewhere on the stage and spent time looking for it.

the small talk line up was in birth order, which you were extremely grateful for — alize had went before you, and now you were up next as you make your way towards nick again.

"hi again!" nick says to you with a beam, holding his arms out for another hug.

"hi, how are you?" you ask him excitedly, as you place one of your posters on the small table.

"i'm feeling good, it was cool to meet everyone," nick tells you, unrolling your poster of all three of them. you hold a pen out to him, which he gratefully accepts, "how are you tonight?"

"i'm doing good!" you tell him excitedly, "i can't believe chris won again, what's going on with you, stink?"

both of you laugh, and he shakes his head. "trust girl, i'm gonna win we just need to give it some time."

"period!" you say, holding your phone up, snapping a few pictures with him, "thank you so much nick, i hope you have a blessed rest of the tour!"

"thank you so much for coming!" nick smiles as you both hug one more time, before you give him a wave as you're off to matt next.

matt smiles at you as you approach him, and you smile back as you set your things on his table. "hi again!"

"hi, matt!" you say calmly, "may i hug you?"

"absolutely, c'mere," he says politely, outstretching his arms towards you, and you slip into his arms.

"how are you tonight?" you ask him, as he signs one of your posters.

"i'm doing good, i can't believe how many people came," matt tells you, and you nod understandingly.

"i'm glad to know you're doing good! i hope you're having fun, too," you tell him sweetly, as he smiles and pulls you in for another hug.

"do you wanna take some pictures?" he asks you kindly, and you nod enthusiastically, handing him your phone as he snaps a couple of .5 photos of you both.

"have a blessed rest of your tour!" you tell matt as you collect your things, beginning to walk away as he smiles and waves at you.

as you're approaching chris, he already has that same smirk plastered on his face as he watches you walk up to him slowly — when you reach him and set your things down on the table, he's instantly bringing you in for a hug.

his hands skim over your skirt momentarily, causing your breath to hitch at the close contact. "hi again, chris."

"hey ma," chris says, swiping his thumb over his bottom lip as he eyes you up and down shamelessly, "did you miss me?"

"i'm a chris girl, of course i missed you," you purred, a sudden bold confidence striking you as you blink your doe eyes at him.

he licks his lips at you and hurriedly jots something down onto one of your posters, and you find yourself unable to look away from him as you take in the way his jawline is so sharp and how the light hits him. he looks so hot, and something inside you wishes he would take you right then and there.

"alright, wrap it up!" one of the security guards yells towards you, causing you to sigh as chris gave you an apologetic smile.

"it was nice meeting you, chris," you say shyly, going to grab your posters.

"you'll see me later, gorgeous," chris whispers in your ear, sending a shiver down your spine as he pulls away, giving you a wink, "see you soon."

you give him one last smile before you hurriedly begin walking to find where alize is at. as you're nearing the hallway, a buzz in your pocket causes you to take your phone out, seeing a message from alize.

alize🙈🫦

girl tell me why i left my phone AGAIN

i went to go look for it that's why you don't see me anywhere

you curse under your breath at this, silently shaking your head as you begin walking towards the exit — suddenly a hand goes out to grab your arm and carefully yank you towards the door.

"what the fu-"

"told you you'd see me again, ma," chris's voice smirks, and you could feel yourself gasp as you turn to see him, your hand still in his.

"where are we going?" you ask, looking up at him.

"giving you a private tour," he smirks, licking his lips as he looks you up and down once more before pulling you towards the door.

it's nighttime already as the both of you exit out of the door — you feel yourself giggle slightly as the wind whips your hair whilst he hurriedly makes his way towards their tour bus with you.

he looks around to make sure nobody saw or followed, and he quickly opens the tour bus doors. chris signals for you to get inside first, and he couldn't help but watch the way your ass jiggled when you walked up the steps.

as soon as you both were inside, you barely have a chance to look around at the tour bus before chris hurriedly whirls you around to face him, his lips meeting yours in a hungry kiss.

your arms find their way wrapped around his neck as he draws you closer to him, his arms slithering down to give your waist a gentle squeeze before he lands a smack to your ass.

you gasp into the kiss, allowing his tongue access inside your mouth — you moan when his hands roam all over your body, until he hooks his arms under your legs.

"jump f'me," he mumbles into the kiss.

you do as you're told, jumping and hooking your legs around his waist. chris walks backwards towards the sofa couch, sitting down on it as he continues to kiss you.

you move your legs on either side of his waist straddling him, as you whimper into the kiss — you detach your lips from his and bite down on his bottom lip, pulling away with a pop.

"fuck, you're so hot, baby," chris breathes, causing you to whimper again as you grind down on his hard on.

"chris i want you to do whatever you want with me," you breathe, resting your forehead on his as you catch your breath, "i'm yours."

"is that so, sweetheart?" chris grins up at you, running his hands up and down your sides which causes a shiver to run down your spine, "you gonna be a good girl f'me?"

"yes, always," you tell him, grinding down on him again eliciting a low groan from him.

chris reattaches your lips, tilting his head in order to dominate the kiss — he pulls away and leaves a trail of kisses on your neck, sucking on a particularly sweet spot causing a moan to escape your lips.

you shrug your puffer jacket off of your shoulders, as chris helps to take off your halter top as well. your tits spill out of your bra causing chris to groan as he takes one in his mouth, sucking and nipping at it whilst massaging and kneading the other.

"m, fuck chris," you whine, throwing your head back as you grind down on his erection, feeling your panties dampen.

"take this off f'me baby," chris instructs you, taking his hands off of you so that you could stand up.

you hurriedly pull down your skirt, revealing the orange lace panties you wore underneath — chris's eyes darkened with lust, immediately pulling you back onto his lap. "fuck, you had this all planned out, didn't you?"

"no, but i was hoping it worked," you giggled, biting down on his earlobe as his hand went down to rub across your slick.

"look at you, so wet f'me," chris breathed against your skin, rubbing his hand along your wetness teasingly, "take these off baby."

you quickly stood up and rid yourself of the panties, throwing them to the ongoing pile of clothes. chris pulled you back onto his lap, inserting one of his long, slender fingers into your hole, causing a lewd moan to escape your lips.

"f-fuck chris, feels so good," you moan, throwing your head back as his fingers work in and out of you.

"taking my fingers so well, sweetheart," chris rasps, leaving kisses along your neck as his fingers curl inside you.

"please, faster..." you whine out, his mouth leaving a deep purple spot on your neck as he pulls away with a pop.

he speeds his pace as he finger fucks you, loving the way you sound as he abuses your walls with his fingers — he added another, increasing the pleasure and you felt your orgasm approaching quickly.

"so close, chris," you moan, grinding onto his fingers, "m' gonna cum."

"cum on my fingers baby," chris grunts in your ear.

you quickly obliged, feeling your orgasm wash over you as a moan of chris's name escapes your lips and your juices coat his fingers, your legs shaking. you stand up as he licks his fingers clean, grinning up at you as he pulls his pants and boxers down revealing his throbbing cock — your eyes widened, now knowing that he was in fact huge as fuck.

"what's the matter baby?" he grins cockily, grabbing your waist again as you hover over him.

"you're s-so big, i don't-"

a loud moan escapes your lips as chris sinks you onto his cock, and you immediately feel him stretching your walls — tears feel your waterline from how big he is, your mouth fixed into a permanent 'o' shape as you adjust to his size.

"c'mon ma, i know you can take me," chris assures you, gripping your waist tightly as a groan leaves his mouth, "be a good girl, remember?"

you nodded, just as chris suddenly thrusts his hips up hitting your g spot which elicits a moan from you as you grip his legs while your head is thrown back — he grabs your chin as forces you to look at him.

"look at me while you ride me, ma," chris instructs you sternly.

your hands still gripping his legs, you begin bouncing up and down on his cock as it abuses your cervix repeatedly — the slapping of skin as well as chris's low moans and your high pitches ones vibrated throughout the tour bus, and you were pretty sure anyone close enough could hear what was happening.

"fuck this pussy feels so good," chris grunts, watching as your tits bounce in his face, his eyes staring into yours darkly, "who's pussy is this?"

"yours chris, all yours," you moan, throwing your head back as you continue bouncing, "m'close again..."

"hold it baby, i'm almost there," chris pants, his hips thrusting upward to meet your pace, "fuck..."

suddenly chris grabs your phone and holds it up, taking a live photo of you bouncing on his cock whilst he leaves another kiss to your neck.

with a few more thrusts, you feel chris's dick twitch inside you indicating how close he is — he finally releases inside you, painting your walls white. your second orgasm washes over you, as your legs shake whilst your juices release all over chris's cock.

chris helps you off of him, and you stand up immediately grabbing your clothes scattered around — chris lands a smack to your ass as you bend over to pick your shirt up. "chris!"

he just laughs as he pulls his pants up, then hands you your skirt as well. you smile up at him shyly as you slip it on — he rubs his thumb across your lip and plants another quick kiss to it as he holds your phone up again.

"sorry i couldn't take it earlier," he says, pulling your body against his.

"it's okay, taking it here feels more intimate anyway," you giggle.

you hold the side of chris's face as he snaps the camera once, then he places a kiss to your cheek as he snaps another one.

"can i use the bathroom real quick?" you ask him shyly, and he nods, showing you where it was.

once inside you hurriedly pee, letting out a sigh as you finish and wash your hands. you look in the mirror at yourself, a small smile tugging at the corner of your lips as you look back at the girl who just got fucked by chris sturniolo.

walking back outside, you look to chris who has your phone in his hand, as he holds it out to you, which makes you smile and walk towards him, reaching for it.

he puts his hand on your waist as he holds your phone above your head, looking down at you with a smirk.

"boy, if you don't hand me my phone back!" you tell him, trying to reach for it which resulted in him holding it higher.

"few more kisses first, ma," chris grins, puckering his lips out making you giggle.

you press a kiss to his lips and pull away, but he quickly dips down to peck your lips a few more times. he hands you your phone back finally, and you smile as you begin walking towards the tour bus's exit.

"your posters!" chris says before you can leave, hurriedly handing them to you.

"thank you," you said, looking up at him, "i enjoyed tonight."

"anything for one of my girls," chris winks with a grin, planting one last kiss to your lips.

you exit the tour bus, looking around for any sign of life before you make your way around the building — you look around, your body trembling from the cold air before a honk of a horn grabs your attention and you gasp, jumping slightly.

"where the fuck were you, y/n?" alize's voice says worriedly, rolling down the window to the uber, "bitch i was looking for you!"

"shit girl, i'm so sorry," you apologize, climbing into the seat of the uber next to her, "i have so much to tell you."

"hoe, you better tell me where you disappeared to," alize whispers to you half angrily, the other curious.

before you could get a word out of your mouth, a buzz from your phone grabs your attention.

unknown

*one attachment*

y/n

chris ??? are those my panties ??? 😭

unknown

didn't fuck anybody else baby, yeah they're yours

need something to remember you by since today was our only la show

y/n

is this you telling me you wanna see me again?

unknown

i'll fly you out to another show if you're down

y/n

only if my girl can come too !

unknown

i'll get you both a plane ticket

y/n

i'll see you soon then😘

unknown

good

send me some pics to keep me company while you not here😏

"bitch what?!"

lil 💌

this didn't come out as good as i wanted it to, but i hope y'all liked this ! love u guys so much muah💌.

@luverboychris @muwapsturniolo @prettiest-poision @mrssturnioloo @mattsturniolosleftnut @sturnprime @thenickgirl @guccifrog @nickgetsmewetter @eyeliketoeatpoosay @e1ias3 @sp3aknaur @middlepartmatt @summerssover @riasturns @sturn777 @l0akkzz @hysteria-things @pinksturniolo @chrissturniolossidehoe @chris-slut @hoesformatt @raysmayhem-72 @whosthislyssbitch @lanas-doll @chrisssluttywaist @mbbsgf @jetaimevous @sturnsxplr-25 @moonk1ss3d

[macsimagines]

You’re Back!! Haza!! How’s life been treating you?

Also not to immediately rip off the bandaid straight to filth but… Sano Brothers body switching with their S/O. Who’s taking pics, who’s doing blackmail, and who’s getting a tattoo of their name on their S/O’s body 😩. This has been living rent free in my head for days.

Lifes been harder? This job is super serious and important so its night to sit back and unwind with this! i'm even thinking of doing another imagines blog with my other hyper interest!!

TW: YANDERE BEHAVIOR, MINORS DNI, NON-CON TOUCHING, NONCON TATTOOING, NONCONPICTURE TAKING

Yandere!Shinichiro Sano

Wakes up and immediately goes for the tits. Then the ass, and every spot he can get his your hands on. Oh god you're so soft and wonderful how the hell do you keep your hands off or yourself?

Spends hours learning everything that makes you feel good, loves the feeling of being wet. God he loves being in this body, he'd want to be one with you forever, but he's pretty sure he misses you more than he loves your body.

Will not get a tattoo of his name but is definitely sending his phone number literal thousands of nudes of your body. He's trying on every pair of panties, and any scandalous outfit he can find.

Wants to go out in the cutest outfit you own but then decides no one else should see this but him.

Definitely cringes at himself for trying to say; "I love you, Shinichiro!" in your voice, because even though its your own sounds it just doesn't feel right.

Yandere!Manjiro Sano

Also wakes up and immediately goes for the tits. "So soft. I should be snuggling in these." His eyes are opened to the possibilities, and he definitely feels up just how soft and cuddly you are.

Doesn't put on all your cute clothes even your normal ones. He calls up Draken and makes him bring Mikey's own clothes to put on.

Good thing Mikey can convince the second in command easily with information only he knows about Ken-chin. "Remember when we were 12 and you popped a boner at the beach right in front of everyone-!" "Shutup! I believe you!"

He likes seeing you in his clothes. Thinks its only natural that you're completely owned by him.

Mikey makes Draken take him someplace to go get a tattoo, of his name right where your heart is, because its only natural since you belong to him.

Doesn't like the pain, but he's glad he's experiencing it for you, its almost romantic...

[mypoisonedvine]

𝙼𝙴𝙴𝚃 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙼𝚄𝙽𝚂𝙾𝙽𝚂 - chapter 2: fight fire with fire.

𝚜𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝚖𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝

𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚜𝚞𝚖𝚖𝚊𝚛𝚢 - eddie refuses to give you space, not that he really can considering you're sharing a room now. it's having some strange effects on you.

𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝 - 4.1k

𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 - brief wet dream aka sexual dream, references to sex/sexuality, mentions of past infidelity/bad relationship, use of "spaz" (not hatefully)

His hands were all over you, holding you tight, exploring your skin as his lips tasted every inch of your neck.  You couldn’t help but arch your back, begging him to pull you just a little closer.

“Are you ready for me?” he purred into your ear, and you nodded quickly.

“I need you— please, I want you inside me,” you begged, digging your fingers into his shoulders.

He was pressed up against you, ready to spear you on his cock and make you his, and you were almost crying you were so desperate for it.  “Say my name,” he demanded.

“Eddie…”

Startled awake by the cacophonous beeping of your alarm, you were torn from your dream and sat up with a jolt— of course, with the top bunk just above, you banged your head against a wooden slat and groaned as you grabbed your throbbing skull.

Eddie’s head appeared, hanging upside down over the railing as his hair flopped forward towards the carpet.  “What’s happenin’, hot stuff?” he smiled at you.

You rolled your eyes as you slammed your free hand on the snooze button; back to reality, and it was quite literally a rude awakening.  Dreams had that way of disappearing the moment you woke up— all you could remember was that it was pleasant, sensual, something that made your cheeks warm just to try to recall.  Whatever it was, it was gone now.  “Thank you for not trying to do the accent,” you frowned when you understood the reference he was making, though you made a face when you thought about it for a second.  “Wait— you’ve seen Sixteen Candles?”

“Yeah, I love that movie,” he announced.

“Didn’t seem like your kind of thing,” you shrugged.

He sighed a little as he pulled his head back up, and a moment later, he was jumping down the ladder.  "Guess you don't know me as well as you thought," he explained.

Your eyes lingered for just a second on the muscles of his back as he stood facing away from you, stretching his arms and standing on his tiptoes.  He started to move his head, and you worried he would look back and catch you, so you quickly turned to face the wall and pulled your blanket up higher by your ear.

“C’mon, isn’t it time for you to get up for school?” he prompted.

“I don’t have to leave this early,” you denied.  

“You do if I’m giving you a ride,” he explained.

Oh, shit; it made sense, logistically, since you didn’t have a car— but it wasn’t going to be very much fun.  Nope: it wasn’t fun when he was honking the horn outside while you tried to rush getting dressed, it wasn’t fun when he started backing out before you’d even shut your door, it wasn’t fun when he shot you a glare as you rolled your eyes and reached to turn down the blaring metal music.

“I’m barely gonna make it in time now!” he scolded you, turning the dial back up— thankfully, not as loud as it was before.

“You’re never on time for school,” you reminded him, pulling down the shade from the ceiling so you could use the mirror inside and finish your makeup.  You applied your lip gloss first, careful not to draw outside the lines while he drove somewhat recklessly.

“I live closer now than I did before, this is my chance to start being early,” he explained.  “But now I’ve gotta go out of the way to take you to college or whatever.”

“Hey, you’re not paying rent,” you reminded him, popping your lips together as you screwed the lipgloss lid back on, “if this is what my mom is making you do to earn your keep, that’s a pretty sweet deal.”

“Fair enough,” he offered with one hand raised— the other still on the wheel, thank god.

You adjusted the mirror slightly to look at your eyes, uncapping your mascara and taking a glance at the road ahead to make sure there were no turns coming to mess up your work.

“What classes do you have today?” he asked.

“Just core stuff,” you explained, “nothing actually related to what I do.  Calculus is first, and then Western Literat—”

You were cut off when Eddie’s van hit a pothole, jerking your whole hand and making you gasp.  You tightened your lips together, looking at Eddie with a deathly glare.

He cackled as he caught a glimpse of the massive black smear under your eyebrow.   “I’m gonna fucking kill you,” you informed him plainly.

“Nah, that’ll come right off,” he insisted, licking his thumb and reaching out towards your face.

“Ew, ew!” you grimaced, leaning a way.  “Are you crazy?!  I’m not letting you touch my eye with your spit!”

“My mouth’s clean!” he promised.

“I can handle this myself, thanks,” you rolled your eyes, turning back to the mirror and trying to wipe the smudge away.  Of course, it only smeared more, until your whole eyelid was one big black mess.  You sighed in defeat, until it gave you an idea.

“What are you so worried about, anyway?” Eddie wondered.  “You don’t need that stuff.”

“Huh?” you asked, only half paying attention as you smeared some mascara off the brush onto your other eyelid, using your finger to spread it around.

“You don’t need to wear makeup,” he stated plainly, “you’re already pretty.”

“Well, thanks,” you offered quickly, “but that’s not really how it works.  You have to look professional and everything for college— women are supposed to wear makeup or it’s not professional.”

“That’s bullshit,” Eddie frowned, “you shouldn’t have to wear makeup for your job unless you’re a model or a party clown or… Gene Simmons.”

You snorted, admiring your work in the mirror… not perfect, but good enough.  “Well, I get the feeling this look isn’t going to be especially professional, actually.”

He turned to look at you, eyes going wide at the sight.  “What… what did you do?”

“Eh, went for a kind of punk thing, I guess,” you shrugged, getting one last look at your black eye makeup before flipping the shade back up.  

“Oh, well, uh—” he cleared his throat— “it looks good.”

He cleared his throat again, and you smirked proudly.  “You’re not… into it, are you?” you pressed.

“N-no— what?” he stammered, reaching back to scratch the nape of his neck under all that hair.  “I mean, it’s a good look for you, you know, kinda— not what I expected, I guess.”

“It’s all uhhh you’re pretty you don’t need makeup uhhhhh,” you parodied in a deep and unflattering voice, “until I get mascara all over my eyes and now you’re totally digging me.”

“You wish,” he scoffed, “like I said, you’re not my type.”

The song on the radio ended and a commercial for shampoo came on— clearly a product needed for all of Eddie’s fellow headbangers.  “I hate commercials,” you groaned, “can we turn the radio off?”

“Sure, I’ll even let you pick the music— open the glove,” he offered.  When you did, a slew of tapes and other trash spilled out: folded receipts, a half-empty pack of cigarettes, and to your not-quite-surprise, some suspicious blue foil squares with a ring indented in them.  You laughed as you picked one up off the floor.

"Condoms and cigarettes— and look, they're both extra slims," you announced.

"Shut up," he groaned.

“Ribbed for her pleasure,” you noticed, giving him a sarcastically proud smile.  “Wow.  And they said chivalry is dead!”

“You’re just jealous ‘cause you’re not gettin’ any,” he decided.

“And you are?” you pressed.

“Yeah!  That’s what the condoms are for, genius!” he widened his eyes.  “What did you think I was doing with them, making balloon animals?”

“Well, let’s see—” you started to shuffle through the ones on the floor, and the ones left in the box.  “Three on the ground, two in the glove— that’s five.”

“Wow, that high school diploma’s really paying off,” he frowned.

“You bought a six pack, you used one, and you saved the rest for a rainy day that never came,” you imagined, tilting your head.  “Aw.  Keep dreamin’, loverboy.”

“Okay, first of all, Loverboy sucks,” he announced as you chuckled and rolled your eyes.  “I mean, Heaven in Your Eyes?  What even was that?”

You didn’t openly agree with him, because you were trying to argue, but yeah— Loverboy was so overrated.  That was probably the first time you ever agreed with Eddie Munson.

“Secondly, it was a twelve pack,” he informed you.

Swallowing thickly, you glanced out the window.  He was making the last turn for your junior college already— you were so ready to get out of this old piece of shit and away from him right now.  “Hey, you can just drop me off here,” you offered as you drove past the big brick sign outside the front building.

“You sure?  I could take you closer— what building’s your first class in?” he pressed.

“Here is fine,” you insisted.  “I’ll take the bus home, okay?  My last class is pretty late—”

“Woah, hey,” he laughed, “the closest bus stop is, like, a mile from your house.”

“You think I can’t walk a mile?”

“Not in those,” he pointed at your shiny Mary Janes.

“At least they’re flats!” you defended.

The van slowed to a stop at the place you’d told him.  “I’ll be here at 5:30— that’s when your class gets out, right?”

“Don’t you have Hellfire tonight?” you tilted your head.

“Aw, you remembered,” he smiled.  “Yeah, we used to be Mondays… we’re Tuesdays now.”

“Oh,” you nodded, opening the passenger door.  “Okay, see you at 5:30, then.”

You hopped out onto the grass by the pavement, and he waved as you swung the door shut behind you.

For some reason, you had a hard time focusing in your first class after that— not that you were ever fascinated by derivatives or anything.  You kept thinking about those condoms that had fallen out of Eddie’s glovebox… 

What kind of girl would hook up with Eddie?  Not just as in, like, what self-respecting human woman would sleep with Eddie Munson— what would she look like, what would she talk like?  Is she into him because he’s in a band, or is she just the first woman you’d ever heard of who’s into Dungeon Masters?

(You hated that you even knew that was what they were called, but you remembered a lot of the terminology from the spines of the books Eddie had added to your shelves.  A Dungeon Master’s Guide, The Book of Marvelous Magic and Creature Catalogue didn’t quite fit in with your photography books and classic literature…)

Regardless, you didn’t want to imagine what kind of women Eddie might be using up those ribbed condoms with.  You didn’t want to, and yet, you were.

You nodded as you chewed the bite of sausage in your mouth, giving Wayne a thumbs up.  “Glad you like it,” he smiled at you, sitting down at the head of the table.  You dropped your eyes down to your plate, to the mashed potatoes your mom had made and the sausages Wayne had cooked on the grill; you didn’t like him sitting there at dinner time.  You really had nothing against Wayne, except for his role in bringing Eddie into your life.  Wayne was somewhat quiet, generally polite (though no one would accuse him of being especially classy), and apparently, he could cook— as long as it was something appropriately simple, like sausages on the grill.

But you still didn’t like him sitting there.  It brought back too many memories of when someone else used to sit there; all these years, and you still felt like you’d just gotten used to that chair being empty.

You were too focused on ignoring everything going on that you didn’t even really notice the awkward silence; there wasn’t silence in this house that much anymore, and you were surprised that it wasn’t Eddie who interrupted it.  Of course, his mouth was full of food… that was probably the only way to shut him up.

“How was school today, honey?” your mom offered to break the pause.

“Well—” you began.

“It was—” Eddie started at the same time, and you looked at each other.

“She meant me,” you assured.  

“Both of you,” your mom decided.  

“It’s—” you started over.

“I—” Eddie began again, and you lightly banged your fist on the table.  “You first,” he offered.

“No, please,” you gestured to him, “tell us about how you skipped class to get stoned.”

Your mom frowned at you and Wayne sighed.  

“Make any big sales today?” you prompted him with a smile.

“Sales?” your mom tilted her head.

“U-uh, Hellfire bake sale!” he blurted out.  “Yeah, we’re raising money for… animals…”

“Oh, that’s nice,” your mom smiled, returning her attention to her plate which freed Eddie to shoot you his best attempt at an intimidating glare.  You raised your eyebrows at him in return, a reminder that if you told your mom too much about his… entrepreneurial endeavors… that she would likely kick him out or at least make him stop.  

The honest truth, something you hadn’t even admitted to yourself properly yet, was that you would never actually tell your mom that Eddie was a drug dealer.  Maybe it was because you were afraid of shattering this strange illusion she seemed to have of him— of a polite, humorous young man that paid her little compliments when he could— even though that very misinterpretation of his character drove you insane.  Or, maybe it was because you knew that learning about Eddie’s real career would likely drive a wedge between your mom and Wayne; Wayne seemed intentionally ignorant to the drugs as much as your mother was genuinely unaware of it, and maybe being forced to confront the risk of all this would be too much for them.

“My day was fine,” you finally offered.  “I, um, have a test on Monday, but… should be easy.  How was work?”

You were asking Wayne, you were looking right at him, but he seemed surprised.  “Me?” he wondered.

You nodded.  “Yeah…” 

He cleared his throat and set his fork down, as if that were a much more serious question than it was.  “It was good,” he decided.  “Everyone’s been working hard… there’s a higher production demand, so there’s gonna be a lot of overtime this week.”

“Aw,” your mom cooed sadly, resting her hand on Wayne’s.  “I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too, honey,” he smiled at her.  “But, it’ll be worth the extra money.  Got a wedding to save up for, don’t we?”

Eddie hummed before swallowing the food in his mouth.  “Do you guys know what you wanna do for it yet?  Got a date picked or anything?”

“We’re still deciding,” your mom explained with a cautiously-excited smile.  “We’d like to have it sometime this summer, maybe— something small, of course, very casual…”

“Sounds nice,” Eddie smiled back.

“You could have it in the park,” you suggested, “you know that one place off the walking trail, with the big trees that look kind of like an archway?  I always thought that would be a nice place to get married.”

Eddie snorted, looking at you with a raised eyebrow.  “You’ve thought about that?”

“Yeah, so?” you shrugged, looking back at your plate as you pushed your food around the white ceramic.

“Oh, yeah, of course,” he realized, “you’re so one of those girls who has their whole wedding planned in advance.  Picked out your dress and everything?”

“Whatever,” you rolled your eyes.

“Did you plan it all while you were dating Gary Thompson?” he asked with a coy grin.

You cleared your throat and pushed your plate away.  “I’m full, can I be excused?”

“Honey…” your mom sighed.

“What?” Eddie asked with a hint of defensiveness.

“Can I go?” you asked again.

“You’ve hardly eaten anything,” Wayne pointed out.

“I’m not hungry!” you snapped, pushing out your chair and getting up.

“Is it what I said?” Eddie assumed instantly.  “Hey, I’m sorry!  I was just kidding!”

You were already walking down the hall to your room, and you heard your mom beginning to explain quietly to Eddie:  “Gary was…” she trailed off.  “Things ended badly there.  He was—”

“Mom!” you snapped.  It was none of his business; but she was probably going to tell him anyway, and you weren’t going to try to stop her.  You stormed into your room and shut the door behind you.  

The most devastating thing was that for a second, you expected to see your room the way it used to be: your bed with the white frame and purple quilt, your posters, your stuff.  But instead you saw the bunk beds, the godforsaken bunk beds, his guitar, his posters, his records…

You jumped onto your mattress and shoved your face into the pillow to scream.  Yes, the tantrum was a little inappropriate for your age, but you were only acting like a kid because you felt like one— because you were being treated like one!  You’d lost control over your own life, Eddie was inescapable.  He was everywhere, reminding you of things you’d tried to forget, bothering you when you just wanted peace and quiet.

Okay, maybe things had been a lot less lonely since he got here.  But then he had to go and say that, bring up Gary fucking Thompson like it was a joke…

You heard the door open, and you curled yourself up on top of the bed.  Just when you expected your mom to sit down on the mattress beside you and ask you to come back to the table, you heard Eddie’s voice instead.  “Hey… you okay?” he asked quietly.

“Go away.”

He sighed and you heard his wallet chain jingling a bit as he ignored your instructions and stepped closer.  “Listen, I had no idea about Gary.  I was just trying to be funny.”

“You’re not funny,” you added quickly, and he laughed a little.

“Yeah, I’m not,” he agreed, and you felt the mattress sink as he sat by your feet.  “I never really knew what happened there, I just knew you guys were going out all of junior and senior year— and, I mean, I figured out that you aren’t anymore since I never saw him around and you never mentioned it, but… I figured it was just one of those things that happens and then, you know, ends.”

You sighed.  “Well, it didn’t just end.  I’m sure my mom told you.”

“I mean, she said it was a sore spot for you, but that’s it,” he replied, and you turned over onto your back.  He was looking at your face, but you were staring up at the slats under Eddie’s mattress above you.

“Things were never great with him,” you admitted, “I mean, I think they seemed fine to me back then because I didn’t know any better.  But he was cheating on me… basically the entire time.”

“Oh— fuck, seriously?” Eddie choked.

“I’m surprised you didn’t know,” you laughed sadly, “essentially everyone did but me.  One of those ‘open secrets’, I guess.  Honestly, how did you even remember his name?  He graduated two years ago.”

“Uh, well,” Eddie cleared his throat, reaching up to rub the back of his neck.  “I dunno— I just remembered…”

“Did you ever talk to him?”

“No,” he laughed, “hell no, he seemed like a douche.”

“You remember every douche from the Class of ‘84?” you smiled.

“That would require remembering basically everyone, so, no,” he tilted his head on the last word for emphasis.

“So why him?” you wondered with your eyebrows knitted.

“Doesn’t matter,” he coughed, “anyways— I’m sorry that he treated you like that.  Honestly, I wondered what you saw in him.”

“Bull,” you rolled your eyes, sitting up on the bed slightly, “you didn’t notice me at all.  You barely knew I existed, except when I was taking your club’s yearbook pictures.”

He smiled a little, looking away.  “Yeah, you’re right,” he shrugged. 

“And the feeling was mutual,” you nodded.

“What feeling?”

“Indifference,” you offered.  “A lack of feeling.”

“I think you thought I was annoying,” he decided.

“I was trying to be nice,” you frowned, “but, yes, in the few moments I took the time to think about you at all, I thought you were annoying.”

“And now?”

“And now I’m forced to constantly think about how annoying you are,” you replied.

He smiled.  “Good.  That’s the goal.”

You’d been banging on the door to no avail, groaning loudly, but he either couldn’t hear you from inside the shower or didn’t care.

“Eddie!” you shouted at the bathroom door, but your voice broke since it was the first thing you’d said since waking up.  “Eddie, hurry up!” you repeated.

Checking the time again, you knew you were cutting it way too close to get ready for your first class.  You slammed your fist on the door again, baring your teeth to no one.

"Eddie, I need to brush my teeth!" you demanded.

His voice was distant, but clear, from inside the room.  "Then come in!"

You sighed, but gave in and swung open the door.  The humid air was a little uncomfortable, but you rushed to the sink to start brushing your teeth so you could be done before he got out.  But of course, the second you put a glob of toothpaste on the brush and stuck it in your mouth, he turned the water off.

You heard him sigh, and then saw the towel be pulled down from over the rod and out of sight.  Looking at your hazy reflection in the mirror, you fought the urge to hum a tune: you usually did while you brushed your teeth, for entertainment but also to make sure you brushed long enough, but now you were afraid Eddie would hear and mock your tastes.

The shower curtain slid aside with a metallic sound, and you refused to look at him as he stepped out.  You refused to look as he walked behind you to the other sink.  You only saw him when he wiped the steam off his side of the mirror.

A towel slung low on his hips, there were still some drops of water dripping off of his hair and onto his shoulders, rolling down his back and chest.  He had more tattoos than you thought: his chest, his clavicle, his hip, and his side all had ink, and that's to say nothing of his arms.  There was cursive writing on his ribs, and you refused to stare long enough to see what it said, but your first assumption was that it was a name; and, for some reason, you felt strange imagining him getting a girlfriend's name tattooed.  It was a romantic— if horribly stupid— idea, and you wondered what kind of girl would be so amazing to compel him to do something like that.  You'd never known him to have any girlfriends in high school… you realized that you preferred it that way, inexplicably.

His hair wasn't nearly as flat and stringy as you figured it would be— not that you'd thought about this before.  But the point is, his mane had kept most of its curl, though it was certainly longer when wet. It was darker, too, almost totally black instead of that dusty chestnut brown you were more familiar with.

His body was toned, tanned, and decorated here and there with patches of dark hair.  And he was still wearing that chain around his neck.  Why was that the cherry on top of the proverbial eye candy sundae?  Why were you a little clammy on the palms— from far more than just the damp post-shower air— just from looking at him?

He was so not your type.  In any way.  Too grungy, too hairy, too… Eddie.  He was a weirdo!  He was your brother, kind of.  Not enough to keep you from ogling, apparently… but enough that you shouldn't be!  Maybe it was just because this was the cleanest you'd seen him that you saw him with new eyes.

That was when you suddenly remembered the dream you’d had last night.  As the images flashed in your mind— his hands running over your skin, his hair dangling by your face as he hovered over you, his body on yours— you gasped and choked on the toothpaste in your mouth.

The sound made him look over at you in the mirror, and you quickly bent down and coughed the foamy substance into the sink.

“You’re such a spaz,” he groaned quietly, putting his own toothbrush in his mouth.

And that was the second time ever that you agreed with Eddie Munson.

//

series taglist: @eddieswifu @kittyplier95 @gamorxa @riffcrusader @draarnaak @gsoyj @eveybitch @takemetoneverland420 @witchofthenorthstar @astro-cub @resident-gay-bitch @missrensolo

[darlingdarkly]

🥳🍾 Ok, if you encourage me, then I'll go ahead - though I would hate to distract you from FWTD (Haven't read it yet, I'm still too focussed on 141 and can't cope with splitting my attention too much.) Feel free to ignore this, no pressure.

Would you be interested in hearing about my favourite passages of NYNY, like chapterwise, in case you don't find that boring? I enjoy sharing favourite parts because I find fascinating to see what exactly caught other people's attention and what they like best - especially when it comes to the authors themselves. 🤗

Are there passages you love and are specifically proud of? Like for example you had one sentence/passage/setting in mind and felt the need to create a whole chapter, story or even world around it?👁👁🧠💥💋

(Is that too private to ask? In case you wouldn't want to answer (in public), just let me know.🤫)

((It might sometimes take me a bit of time to answer but I would never NOT react at all sooner or later. Hope that's not too frustrating a prospect...👉👈))

Enjoy the day/night 🤘

YESS OMG! Ok so I’d love to answer this with you but it’s gonna be lengthy LMAO so I’m gonna drop it under a read more 😅

Ok so I’ll give you a little secret about where the idea for him came from in the first place. I came up with this idea back in December of last year, a new movie came out on Netflix called “The Killer” it follows this hit man around who botches a kill and then the people he works for try to clean it up by taking out him but they end up really hurting his wife and so he goes rogue and takes out everyone who had anything to do with the job. His final target is this rich guy who put up the money for the job and he finds out he goes to this fitness club and he goes there while he’s working out to get access to his house. The fitness club/ bougie gym in question was called “Baliquinox” and while I was sitting there watching it the idea came to me and I literally stole the name of the gym and reused it as like a little homage to where the idea came from.

And thus personal trainer Johnny was born! When I sat down to actually write it I had three main scenes I wanted to write, their first ever introduction where he picks her out or part 1, the scene in part four where they fuck for the first time (let me tell you that scene lives rent free in my head for months!) and the ending (specifically like the last paragraph) your girl wrote that WHOLE fic with just those three scenes in mind at the start. Everything else, literally all of it was thought up on the spot.

Funny enough the whole FitBit present he gives her was thought up as I wrote that part. I heard a commercial on Spotify for it, did a little more research and saw all the potential it had. And I had no idea when I wrote it in just how big a part it was gonna end up being in parts down the road. It was kinda just improvised haha

Two of my favorite little tidbits!

The first is in the second part when he’s sitting her down and asking her all kinds of questions that get increasingly personal to the point where she thinks he’s fucking with her (because he is) but I wanted to show that he’s intelligent enough to masquerade his gross intrusiveness as part of his job and then when he’s got you suckered he drops the facade completely and reveals his true intentions. It’s the first of Johnny showing you his true colors and I absolutely loved writing it, it was such a blast and I really enjoy writing manipulations like that. And then when reader heads to the locker room to recompose and dress she has her mind set to set him straight and draw some boundaries which when confronted by them Johnny just pliantly agrees and makes her feel kinda small for making such a big deal of it but we all know he’s pulling the wool over readers eyes again.

Secondly! I loved the morning after the club incident when she wakes up and she’s in Johnny’s bed and she can’t remember anything and Johnny writes the narrative for her and plants a seed. It’s really all it takes. He tells her that it’s OBVIOUS she was drugged last night and there’s no way she can go back home because she’s in DANGER!! (A danger he created the whole time) He played her right into his hands, swept her right off her feet without her even protesting because he’s helping her and doing it for her own good.

A man like Johnny is hyper intelligent and hyper dangerous. When he has his sights set on something he wants he will get it every time because he’s not afraid to play outside the lines. There are no boundaries and no limitations, there’s just the object of his desire and the obstacles in between him and it. And when you’ve walked into the trap and he’s got you, it won’t even seem like a trap. You’ve just suddenly gained a boyfriend and he’s moved you into his home and the sex is amazing and you never have to care for anything ever again. He’s just all in one move wrapped you up into his arms and secured you and it’s where you’ll be for the rest of your days if he can just keep manipulating things in his direction, which is much easier now that he’s got you right where he wants you.

This became so lengthy omg haha but I love him so much! He’s obsessive and he wants you all to himself and he’ll do anything to get it! Please, feel free to reblog this and tell me your favorite parts or add onto mine or discuss!! I would love it! 🫶🫶🫶

[catharsis-in-a-bottle]

thoughts on The Sandman (2022)

oh, you knew this post was coming. i haven't done a bullet-list-non-chronological-thought-post in a LONG time. so here i go! my thoughts on the sandman show, in no particular order.

(BEWARE: i have not yet read the comics, but now i intend to!!!)

first of all, i have not been so ENRAPTURED by anything in a long time. i binged watched for the first time with this show - i did NOT want to stop, and therefore made the poor decision to stay up until 5 in the morning - but it was worth it, i think, to have all the characters begin their lives in my head in one night.

let's talk about some characters, shall we? MORPHEUS! Dream of the Endless! (isn't that a badass name?) King of Dreams! i wanted him to smile so badly the entire time, and when he did - when he gave those tiny smirks around Death, and Hob, and i think some others - it truly paid off. an endless being who dresses in all black (rather like. neil gaiman) and speaks dramatically and never not once raises his voice... SO interesting, i want his outfits, etc.

the second one living rent-free in my various neural cortexes: THE CORINTHIAN! mainly because he's gay and looks cool, but we can go deeper than that. a nightmare personified! a nightmare who wants to be seen as something he is not - as a human! is that not THE queer metaphor? a nightmare who fears his destruction and whose creator says he was not made well? godDAMN!! also i want his outfits, etc, okay let's move on:

DEATH and DESIRE. death as an absolutely beautiful ray of sunshine giving comfort to the departed; desire as. as. a hot deceiver. what more can i say. death is wonderful and creates the BEST support for dream - she is the balance to his emo, you might say - and desire is just, you know, mason alexander park lol *dies on the spot*

LUCIFER MORNINGSTAR. is the lord of hell, and is very tall, and wears a leather jacket, and has an appetite for destruction. what more, pray tell, can i say. alright let's move on from characters because i want to talk about:

24/7. 24 fucking 7. the one that the comic fans, i have heard - and neil gaiman himself, for that matter - consider to be the darkest comic. and i've seen several of you say that the comic is darker than the SHOW, which is - astounding, considering i thought this episode was better than any horror movie i've ever watched. and it started off so innocently! i didn't know what to expect going in, and that made it SO MUCH WORSE when i understood what was happening. i think the moment where i just though 'yuck' and never stopped thinking 'yuck' was the "i fuck your son"; i literally just said "WHAT." and left my jaw hanging open for the entire rest of the episode. that is not a hyperbole - my mouth was open the entire fucking time. this is the world's darkest win for gay people, i guess. when everyone started going at it, i assumed the horror had stopped there - that the revelation of the truth led to new relationships, the ones that everyone actually wanted - BUT NO!!!!!! JOHN MCFUCKING DEE DID NOT STOP THERE!!!!! the idea that the revelation of our true desires leads to just... mass suicide in a diner, homicide, etc........ jesus fucking christ i LOVED that episode it slapped the shit out of my brain. i don't even know what that MEANS

anyway! *i brush the nonexistent dust off my shoulders* let's...... move on from that. i need to relisten to the soundtrack if i want to do any musical analysis, because let's face it, i was awake during the witching hours and i was NOT paying attention to those chord progressions. however, i DO remember that the music kept me engaged and fit very well with what was happening, so there's that.

this show also just, uh, slapped the shit out of my brain in ways i truly did not expect. because some of the moments were just so feel-good! the hob and dream sequence!!! (they're totally gay!) death!! rose and jed!!! and then there were just moments of - oh my god, the corinthian is taking jed into a serial killer convention. he's taking the 12 year old into a serial killer convention. jed's abuse at the hands of barnaby was also just one continuous 'YUCK' feeling; like, god, they really pulled that off didn't they. lyta's desire to leave the waking world to live with her husband in the dreaming.... her husband as a ghost in a place he is not supposed to be.... that is QUITE an exploration of grief, isn't it!! i'm going insane

three words: GREGORY THE GARGOYLE

i really love the juxtaposition of the endless and all the strange beings / creatures they encounter next to Humans Just Trying To Human. rose walker did not want ANY of this shit - she just wants to find her brother, maybe destroy part of the foster care system, have a nice apartment, etc. and then she meets dream of the endless, around whom you could not possibly act entirely human. john dee and johanna constantine truly feel like the in-between of "humans trying to human"; john dee has made himself into something not entirely human and is trying to put himself on-par with Dream, and johanna constantine is confidently facing demons. otherwise we have the endless, and dreams, and normal people. actually i suppose the corinthian is also one of the in-between - a nightmare who wants to exist as a human in the waking world, doing human things like Fucking That Girl's Housesitter

stephen fry was excellent as always. love when he gets to play an Extra British Man

let's talk about the queerness. i know this comic was queer from the beginning, and i cannot WAIT to experience that. i think there is a very subtle difference - a difference that we easily mistake, all the time - between queer characters added as tokens for representation, and queer characters added because the writers know and understand that queer people are a normal part of life. we may ask: is the queerness central to the plot? and in both these cases, the answer may be no; but one answers 'no' because the writers view the queerness as expendable or as a currency, and the other answers 'no' because the writers understand that queerness may be integrated into the story without being the story, that queerness is a fact of life. and i think we all know which one sandman is, and i deeply appreciate neil gaiman and everyone who worked on this show for that; it seems neil's been with us from the beginning, and learning along the way.

and with that, i will conclude this post. i love this show so much, and i cannot wait to get my greedy little hands on the comics.

[seventeenlovesthree]

My top 25 Digimon Adventure Tri moments (in no particular order except the 1st)

I really need to bring these in order, but since I’ve reblogged this beautiful post, I might as well post my favourite Tri moments compilation right now. Will definitely look for more screenshots in the future too.

Jyou punching Dark Gennai. I'm getting excited just thinking about it, it's SO satisfying. 

Taichi's flashback on Koushirou calling him out with them being framed as rain vs sun - that is such a good analogy right there from a cinematic point of view, even if it's just so subtle and there isn't a lot of emphasis on it, but it IS what lets Taichi snap out of his paralysis after all. It basically implied that Koushirou was “the sun” Taichi needed to move on (even though he himself usually is “the sun” for everyone else).

As painful as it is - Sora's breakdown and Taichi telling her that her selflessness is one of her good traits, making her say the "Don't say things Piyomon would say" in return. Like, it HURTS, it FEELS dysfunctional, but in all actuality, it shows how much they DO understand each other. Literal hedgehog's dilemma. 

The Jyoumi honesty scene. As much of a retcon as it is overall, I love that they're honest with each other without hiding behind masks. 

That split-second of Kou standing in front of that kimono with Tentomon and Piyomon in his bag - next to the Koura phone scene (where the set-up is nice, but there's just too much second hand embarrassment there), I just love the potential behind it. 

The "Don't push yourself so much" Taishirou-scene, which will forever live rent-free in my head. 

The Taikoura donut scene. It's stupidly cute, even if it isn't much.

The Meikeru scene in which she says it's nice to see Takeru and Yamato getting along despite their parents being divorced, it's actually very endearing to have such a gentle moment there out of the blue. 

Kou's mentor moment towards Takeru. "So you just want to forget? It's not about what you couldn't do, it's about what you WILL do." THAT IS MY BOY. 

Takeru then trying his best to approach Meiko after being inspired by Koushirou (as mentioned above) in the exact same way is also an amazing follow-up.

In addition to the former entry, Koushirou’s "I'M AGAINST THIS, I WILL FIND A SOLUTION!" scene in the last movie, when everyone had already accepted the reboot as only solution, was a pretty nice ���main character moment” for him.

The Meimi hug scene, with Meiko FINALLY coming out of her shell and being the one who reassures Mimi for once. THAT WAS A GREAT SET-UP. 

A summary of every "SoMi being lovely towards one another" scene. There are just too many to count (special mention goes to the amazing Jyourami rescue scene in the fourth movie!!!).

Kou rescuing Taichi from getting strangled by Yamato in the fifth movie. Classic. 

Sora's "don't close yourself off, being lonely makes a thorn grow in your heart, I was like that too" quote in the fifth movie, WHICH HURTS, BECAUSE IT COULD HAVE BEEN A GREAT SET-UP FOR HER TOO. 

Taichi's "Shimane's the one without computers" shade comment, with Yamato's stupid "That was a million years ago" response, which is peak Tsundere. 

Tentocat nuzzling into Kou's side. Ugh. (Also probably all the cheesy AguTento moments.)

Taichi saying that they should not judge Jyou, "If we approached him now, he might have to face things he doesn't want to." Mature!Taichi ftw, even if that wasn't the overall best approach, it still showed his progress. He HAD to face the painful things in the end. 

Hikari's comment on Plotmon after the reboot, implying that there are certain things she’d better not remember (alluding to everything she went through during her time under Vamdemon up until watching Wizarmon die). I didn't think they would go there, but they did and that was both heartbreaking, but still amazing. 

Yamato's reaction towards Meiko's Ghost Story, completely losing it there - and the shade he got from Takeru for it. Good boy. 

Mimi actually kissing Meiko on the cheek. Groundbreaking. 

Yamato's peak closet moment (he had at least three) being the "if we don't have to form Omegamon anymore, that'll make it easier for you too, right?", including the blushing. 

Taichi affirming Meiko that Koushirou is researching the whole infection issue “with all his heart” will also live rent-free in my head forever.

The farewell scene between Taichi and Daigo (probably being the 64728th Evangelion reference in these movies, but I’ll bite, I liked that one).

Also all the housewife!Gomamon scenes (that compliment the housewife!Tentomon scenes).

[void-writing]

FINALLY got some of my drawings of my girl, Milo, lined and done in flats (with some bonus baby teetles). She has been living rent free in my head for literal months.

general rundown of her backstory (under a cut so I don't clog up people's dashes lmao):

When she was two and a half, Milo toddled her way into the Hidden City when her caretakers weren't looking as she chased after a will o' the wisp type creature. She's found by Draxum and he functionally trips into adopting her, especially after finding out she has an innate gift for the mystic arts and the ability to see the future.

She foresees The Shredder's return and resolves to do everything in her power to stop him. Hilariously, while Draxum is trying to mold her into the future general of his army that will wipe out humanity, Milo has no such aims and instead wants to protect everyone from things that can't be dealt with through ordinary methods.

Even before the turtles are mutated, Milo sees them as her little brothers. In this, she's actually the one who gives them all color names (because she's four by then and not terribly creative lmao). After the lab explodes and Splinter absconds with both her and the turtles, Milo takes on the name "Green" until she and her little brothers pick out names from Splinter's book of renaissance painters (based on "Venus de Milo" obviously, but shortened simply to "Milo"). Draxum called her "Spawn," short for "Human Spawn" because when Milo came into his care, she wasn't yet at an age where she could effectively speak (she didn't remember her original name anyway).

Since Milo had no filter, she told Splinter about her visions of The Shredder when he was brought to Draxum's lab, unknowingly giving the poor man an existential crisis (hilariously, her logic in telling him at all was mostly rooted in that Lou Jitsu is the best warrior ever, so obviously he could help fight the "Mean Metal Man." She didn't know he was Hamato or what the clan's connection to The Shredder was until later). He still has massive denial and avoidance about it and whenever Milo asks, Splinter refuses to train her because he doesn't want her to go through what he has or to feel obligated to do what all his ancestors have done before him: sacrifice themselves in the name of stopping The Shredder. Of course, Milo doesn't know about Splinter's trauma in this issue and doesn't want to sit around doing nothing when she could be preparing and ends up nicking the Ancestor Scroll from Splinter's room (he doesn't notice until "Shadow of Evil" when he goes looking for it in his room but doesn't find it).

Milo is the eldest of the Hamato siblings (including April, though the two occasionally switch off on who is technically the eldest whenever the other doesn't feel like it) and serves as team leader with Raph as her second in command. Like canon!Raph, Milo feels obligated to do whatever it takes to protect her brothers, though her previous upbringing with Draxum allows her to function better in high-stress situations than Raph.

Milo is just as strong, durable, and fast as her brothers due to Draxum using a Captain America-like serum on her when she was three in order to enhance her. It also had a negative side effect on her foresight where if she's woken in the midst of a vision, she becomes stuck in it for anywhere between hours to days, trapped between lucidity and her visions. It's like sleep paralysis but worse, and unlike her regular visions--which happen independently as she sleeps--these waking visions make her incredibly suggestive to outside input. Meaning, if someone asks a question within earshot, her power will latch onto it and run through the possible futures, thus lengthening the time she spends stuck in prophetic limbo.

Her weapon of choice is a bisento, a bladed polearm weapon, but she's proficient with a chain scythe as well and uses a mystic one that she snags from Draxum in "Mystic Mayhem." Milo's designated color is also green, though her mystic energy is yellow. This is a design choice because April seems to favor yellow somewhat, but also has a lot of green elements to her design, including her mystic abilities.

Personality-wise, Milo is jovial and optimistic despite the heavy duty she burdens herself with, and is defined by her stubborn determination and boundless love.

She loves all of her brothers equally (her favorite is Raph. yes i am projecting).

Thanks to @tmnt-oc-comp for inspiring me (and giving me the courage lmao) to finally post this! Maybe I'll even start sharing some of the fic snippets that I've made for Milo if people like her and want to hear more :))

[fancy-a-dance-brigadier]

For the ask game: Voyager and SNW

Feel free to do Ahsoka as a bonus! :)

Thank you for the ask friend! And OF COURSE I am going to do Ahsoka as a bonus because my obsession with that show knows no bounds.

Voyager

Favourite character: I am one of the 0.0000009% of the earth’s population whose favourite Voyager character is Kes. She stood out to me from the very start, and that VOICE my god. She’s the perfect blend of kind and gentle and good but also she can boil your blood with her brain and she eats bugs and reads autopsy reports for fun. Nobody does it like her, and I really wished the show had leaned into some of her more horrific qualities (which obviously they never would because this is 90s Star Trek we’re talking about). But she’s a monstrous woman to me and I love her for it.

Second favourite character: B’Elanna! So many of her focus episodes just hit different - she’s easily one of the most complex characters in the cast, and not only that but the writers actually gave her material that makes the most of that complexity. They do such a good job of exploring her inner conflicts and her complicated relationship to her identity right from the get go (I’m thinking about that season 1 episode ‘Faces’. They really wasted no time in making her so interesting). B’Elanna’s episodes seldom ever miss basically. Also I just love her attitude.

Least favourite character: uhh Q 😂 I know he only has three guest episodes in the whole show, but he makes me want to set things on fire. I do not know why he’s so popular, I do not find him charming at all! Even in TNG!!

The character I’m most like: Idk, I always struggle with questions like this, but maybe Harry? Idk a few weeks ago someone in the uni department I work in said I wasn’t a staff member even though I’m literally on the payroll as a staff member and it just felt like I was living the Ensign Kim fantasy.

Favourite pairing: What a surprise! My favourite pairing is between my favourite character and my second favourite character! Kes/B’Elanna truthers if you’re out there, we can’t let their lack of screentime win.

Least favourite pairing: uhh Kes/Neelix because I honestly think a chaotic sibling-type relationship would’ve suited them so much better. Just let them be adventurous spacefaring besties together, it would’ve made things so much less awkward!

Favourite moment: Ok this is hyper specific and I think I’ve mentioned it before, but you know the ending of ‘The Thaw’? Where Janeway literally kills fear itself and there’s that really striking visual of Fear fading into the darkness and you can only see the parts of his face that are painted white? Yeah, that lives in my head rent free forever.

Rating out of 10: Solid 8/10. Highly entertaining, but I’m not feral about it.

Strange New Worlds

Favourite character: Ortegas! Which is incredibly unfortunate for me because the writers just refuse to let her do anything. It’s been two seasons, where is my Ortegas focus episode??? She’s my favourite character based purely on vibes alone, so imagine how much more there will be to love when they. Y’know. Actually develop her backstory and personality.

Second favourite character: Ok this is really bad but I honestly don’t feel strongly enough about any other members of the SNW cast to have a character that stands out as my second favourite 🙈 They’re all lovely! I do generally like them all! But I just struggle to get invested in them the way I do with other Star Trek characters, idk what it is.

Least favourite character: Chapel 🙈 I think I’m mostly just frustrated by the way she’s written - I think the intention was to make her a stronger character than she was in TOS, but I can’t think of a single aspect of her storyline that isn’t directly connected to one of the men in her life. It’s more like she’s an accessory to Spock and M’Benga’s storylines rather than a character in her own right. She had so much potential, because I remember her being kind of goofy and fun and chaotic and unique in the very first episode, and that was great! But I think a lot of that has got lost amongst the pining for Spock and the wartime M’Benga angst.

The character I’m most like: Hmm Uhura maybe?? Just with the whole struggling to make meaningful connections to people thing. Also I too miss Hemmer.

Favourite pairing: I don’t really have any ships for SNW, but let’s just say Ortegas/Una in the Elysian Kingdom because that was immense.

Least favourite pairing: Spock and Chapel, but mostly for the same reasons why I’m frustrated with Chapel’s character in general. I think there are moments where it does work, and I’m not opposed to them existing as a couple. I just wish they could give Chapel more interiority so they could flesh it out a bit more. As it stands, the whole Spock/T’Pring/Chapel thing reads very much like a generic YA love triangle romance. Maybe polyamory could fix them idk.

Favourite moment: The ending of ‘The Elysian Kingdom’ just gets me man. It hits on similar themes as the DS9 episode ‘Far Beyond the Stars’ in that it really centres on the power of storytelling, and I just love how nicely those two episodes fit together (I mean the Elysian Kingdom book was literally written by Benny Russell!! Hello????)

Rating out of 10: 7/10. It’s a good show and I do enjoy it, but I just struggle to connect with it in the same way that I can with shows that I really love.

Ok I’m going to put the Ahsoka stuff under a read more because I don’t want to spoil anything for you!

Ahsoka

Favourite character: This is so hard because I love them all!! But I think I have to choose Ahsoka because she’s just. She’s so good in this. I know a lot of people think she’s out of character, but I couldn’t disagree more. She’s seen some shit! She’s gone through hell! Of course she’s going to be more subdued as an adult than she was as a teenager! She brings such a presence and a gravitas to the show that really elevates it. Basically I’m love her.

Second favourite character: Shin Hati my disaster daughter. I’m fully convinced that Baylan found her in a trashcan somewhere and was like “I want that one” because she just has this slightly feral energy that I’m honestly obsessed with. I’m really excited to see if the show expands on her character, because she’s mostly been running around doing Baylan’s bidding and getting into very hot lightsaber fights with Sabine. Give my girl some development let’s GOOOOO. (Also honourable mention to Anakin because that’s my GUY that’s my BOY)

Least favourite character: I honestly can’t think of one, I love everyone in this show to pieces. Maybe that Empire sympathiser dude that Ahsoka and Hera met in episode 2. Yeah, him.

The character I’m most like: Ummm Sabine because I too am very fond of cats and creatures that look like cats.

Favourite pairing: Does Shin/Sabine have a ship name? Idk if they do, but either way I feel very normal about them. Mostly because of the vibes, since they haven’t done much beyond beating the crap out of each other. I’m hoping they’ll actually get to have a conversation in the next few episodes, especially after what went down in episode 4!

Least favourite pairing: I don’t think I have an answer for this one? Idk I’m not quite deep enough in the fandom side of things yet to know what else people are shipping from this show.

Favourite moment: Because I am a very basic Prequel era/Clone Wars girlie I have no choice but to choose the entire section of episode 5 with Ahsoka and Anakin. Number one television event that makes me want to bite things, I’m still not over it, I’ll never be over it. It’s fan service but it serves a purpose in the story. Anakin was better than he’s ever been in anything ever. Temuera Morrison was there. I have no choice but to go insane about every single second of these scenes. And don’t even get me started on teenage Ahsoka that was HEARTBREAKING.

Rating out of 10: 10/10. It’s perfect. Star Wars hasn’t been this good in ages. I’m actually actively looking forward to each new episode as they release, which is very rare for me.

[something-awful1]

my thoughts while rewatching all of Helluva Boss in honor of the S2 trailer PT 4 (help me)

THE CIRCUS - i'm not ready to relive this episode again - baby stolas is so cute omg - ugh fuck this guy - bro literally got the best job - this episode is so well written omg - "oh- that's an ugly noise son" lives in my head rent free - OMG BARBIE WIRE SPOTTED i think - awww love at first sight how sweet - young blitz is weirdly relatable - the great... PIRATE warrrrrrr!" - awww poor blitz, fuck his dad - DON'T YOU SMACK THE BABY - i hate paimon - okay wait but the pirate game is actually so smart, little blitz is a genius - stolas's fascination with imps is so cute - the chandelier scene is so cool visually - stapler and biscuit queen??? - okay i'm gonna make note of this now since i've already seen this episode, but i love how each of the three scenes starts with stolas looking in the mirror, gradually getting more and more depressed. this is one of the best episodes, really, you can tell how well thought out it was - fuck stella - love her voice though - HIS LITTLE "i'm fine" AFTER CHOKING ON THE ABSINTHE OMG - the goetia background characters are some of vivzie's best ngl - this scene lives in my head rent free oh my god - ngl this scene is like a little uncomfy - im uncomfy guys - where's the fucking consent (i get stolas is very CLEARLY willing but like.... c'mon) - imagine being bryce pinkham and having to record this - AWWW I JUST REALIZED THAT AFTER OZZIES THEY BOTH SCROLLED THROUGH THEIR PHOTOS - OWL IN A CAGE FUCK YEAHHHHHHH - ew its smella - bryce's delivery this scene is P E R F E C T - good on stolas for standing up for himself though - i love this episode

SEEING STARS - i vividly remember being in class when this came out and like audibly screaming - "how was i supposed to know you could spell? i've never seen you READ" i love him so much - poor octavia oh my god - M&M WATCHING THE CONFLICT OMG - why tf did he have cucumbers on his eyes - moxxie fat shaming counter: who tf knows what number we're on now - i hate the music sideplot thing with moxxie - okay wait i kinda don't like this episode - stolas is hot - stolas laughing at his awful joke is so wholesome omg - the loona flashback omg - "eh-" *throws watter bottle* - the one lady's boobs were on fire - octavia has some of the most heartbreaking lines omg - i love loona's va, idk who she is but i love her - oh i never noticed stolas's little teleporty thing that was cool EXES AND OOHS - help me - two seconds in and we're mentioning moxxie's weight again - THE HORSES ON THE WHITEBOARD - the poor children - this was a phenomenal episode, from what i remember - fuck crimson but his design is amazing - ew i forgot about chaz - i hate him so much - this episode is so green - I LOVE THAT MOXXIE AND BLITZ MET IN PRISON - this scene is painful - dicks in the walls - chaz makes me so uncomfortable oh my g o d - i skipped the song - blitz fucking chaz is so in character - this all sounds so negative i really do love this episode - like a lot - "I ObJeEcT!" is so silly - one of helluva's best choreographed fight scenes fr - i was like audibly sobbing when i first watched this - hey but bright side, blitz got a fucking cool jacket out of it

(oh my god i'm done i can sleep)

[honnojis]

go forth friend. ramble about your favorites of the SV cast (w warnings where absolutely necessary ofc!!)

i wanna hear ur opinions of em !!!!

OUGH okay i will. put all of that under the cut bc i'm definitely going to talk about big spoilers AND IT'S GONNA BE LENGTHY BECAUSE I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS. SV may be a mess in some aspects but the story is the best it's been in many gens, if not the best story in any Pokémon game

i gotta talk about the two elephants in the room first; RIKA AND ARVEN.

For Rika; She's giving me gender envy bc like. god i wish that were me. But also I want to marry her because oh my god I love her and her design so much GAMEFREAK WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME. Why do they always keep getting away with this shit EVERY GOD DAMN GEN that there's a character I end up being down bad for LOL... She's so chill!! But she's also so nice!!! And I'm ough. I really hope any future DLC will give her more screentime or at LEAST let me rematch her because why the fuck can i not fight the E4 again!!! sir!!! lemme see her!!!!!!!!!

Arven.............. he is my son now. That whole last stretch of the story in area zero really REALLY solidified him as my favourite of the main cast because man he's been through a lot and this guy can't catch a fucking break!!! Had to go years without seeing his parents only to find out that the one parent he remembers and saw only very occasionally as a kid died years prior to the game's events protecting the mirai/koraidon you've been traveling with all this time. And the whole thing about Mabosstiff!!! The titan questline had me tearing up on several occasions. im AUGh.... I'm so SO weak for characters like this who appear a bit standoffish at first but then open up to the player and they're just beans that have gone through a lot and are trying to help. And his own resolution to become a chef with the knowledge he now holds over the herba mystica to help others felt like the most logical course of action for him to take so i'm glad he found what he wants to strive for next!! anyways sorry not sorry if i end up drawing him a lot LMAO he lives in my brain rent free. son boy allowed

Then there's Nemona!!! She's so fucking head empty no thoughts and I love her. And if there's something in that head of hers it's just a brick with the only thought being violence and battle. And you know what? good for her! good for her. She's really funny and probably one of the most fun rivals we've had in recent history for pokemon. I like that she's not just super talented either, she literally explains to the trainer when you talk to her in postgame that she had to work hard to even get to this point. She really feels like a mirror to the player but she just took her journey of becoming a champion a year or two earlier than the player did. But also wow same lady ur just like me fr fr

Penny!! she's just a bean that cares for her friends!!! And the team Star story stuff really felt nicely done. Trying to help her friends that were painted as bullies because of a misunderstanding and mismanagement at the school while the team Star members aren't bad people at all. I also absolutely love her sass when traveling with her in Area Zero (and subsequently the dynamic between Penny, Nemona and Arven as a whole, they're best friends now your honor)

AND ALSO CAN I TALK ABOUT HER BATTLE THEME FOR A SECOND BECAUSE ?????????????????????

THEY PUT HARDCORE/HARDSTYLE IN MY POKEMON GAME

I genuinely was not expecting that but hearing the hardbass i was like wtf holy shit they went OFF with this track!!! The track is an absolute banger too but definitely felt unexpected for a character like Penny. Good for her though!! She's got one of the best themes in the game and im jamming

And then Turo! I played Violet but I'm aware that the same thing happens with Sada in Scarlet so it's easy to just replace names. Man... I could talk about this part of the story all fucking day. The professor is probably one of the most interesting "villains" in Pokémon as a whole and I'm SO GLAD that the series finally went down this route, because they absolutely nailed the story telling with this. Area Zero blew me out of the fucking water and was so unexpected!!! This whole segment has "REJUVENATION" written all over it!!! I was literally WAITING for Jan to get to this segment after completing the game, only for him to say the same exact shit LOL. I was not expecting this from a main series Pokémon game at ALL and frankly I'm so glad it did because this whole story segment with made Violet easily one of my favourite pokemon games in the series.

AI Turo stimulating the player from the background to find the herba mystica with arven and them becoming stronger but not really wanting to talk to Arven because-- just like his original counterpart-- he's too focused on the goal of the mission to care for the son of his original counterpart (though him being an AI also might hinder processing emotional attachment even MORE than the original Turo already had problems with). The reason why Turo hasn't visited Arven in years being that the original is dead and AI Turo literally cannot leave the crater due to him needing the power of the Tera crystals to stay functional. AI Turo, despite being the same in almost every possible way, realizing and coming to agree that there's no logic in the original Turo's decision to want to introduce future Pokémon into the ecosystem KNOWING that it'd destroy the old one, making him a better person than the original was-- and painting the original Turo as the villain in this situation due to that his obsession with the future as written in the Violet book drove him to ignore how wrong he was for what he was trying to do, even after death. AI Turo knowing that he himself is part of the security system and needs to be fought in order to put a stop to the time machine, hence why he stimulated the player to keep training and taking care of Miraidon. AI Turo realizing that he needed to go in order to put a total stop to the time machine because his very existence is keeping it active. He says "I want to see the future" and leaves the present day in order to stop the time machine, but there's some deeper implications here; in practice this is AI Turo taking a massive risk by sacrificing himself to save Paldea because on the chance he ends up outside of the crater, he'll cease functioning and will practically die. And you know? The revelation that he's an AI powered robot actually makes total sense if you paid attention to his animations and speech mannerisms; he's the only character that doesn't have a breathing animation (it's not even there in the first video transmission you see of him! and it's the same for Sada in Scarlet) and is constantly identifying the player & friends through student ID's and biometrics rather than acknowledging them as actual people. BUT ALSO THAT BATTLE WAS SO FUCKING COOL!! Genuinely challenging too since you had to figure out his mons' typings on the fly, AND HE'S GOT A BANGER BATTLE THEME. Toby Fox you've done it again you madman

honorable mention goes to Clavell and Grusha, the former because Clavell is fucking funny as hell and I'm so glad he ended up being more involved in the story than I expected. Sir you're a little behind with the times AND YOU ASKED ME WHAT CHEUGY MEANS WHICH KILLED ME but you're all the funnier for it. thank you. Grusha gets the mention because he caught me off guard by having the highest leveled gym team out of any of the gym leaders with having mons at level 47 while I strolled up with my mid-30's team and got my ass blasted. thank you sir. i will now never make the mistake of thinking you're a lower tier gym leader just because TPC advertised you early. good god

All that being said, I could go on about every other character but these really were the ones that stuck out the most in my mind. i have so many thoughts about this game and i swear the brainrot's going to be around for a LONG ASS TIME

[hard-core-super-star]

I don't know how I didn't stop to think that being anonymous actually makes me very mysterious - you just avoided my villain era. Oh yeah, there should be a complaints box, so we could inform and complain about this total mutual discomfort we are going through.

who knew my messy essay would save my neck, thank you for your mercy. I think it could be a result of the second star, the power has gone to my head, I'm going to try to change that😔

now you kind of have to tell this joke or I won't be able to sleep peacefully.

yeah! they actually did a titans show and it looks like it was something like 8 or 80, I didn't watch it either but the reviews are always someone either liking it or hating it, never in between. buying all the comics is my princess dream- but okay, since you're talking about game universes, I agree with you, but tell me I'm not crazy when I say that nightwing completely eat in the Lego games.

that's exactly why I started watching Legends of Tomorrow lmao, they're so silly and chaotic and I love it, not to mention it's the kind of humor that makes me laugh genuinely when I least expect it. OH NO- WAIT In that case I would happily get started for you with an honorable mention to the kiss after their first date and the phrase “I can't be normal” and right after the “I don't want you to be normal” HJSJWKSNDEKK time passes but I'm still stuck in this moment.

they... they canceled the show? haha what? 😀

“slightly traumatized” LMFAO- this shouldn’t be so funny but yeah, I totally get it. I know there's this supercorp thing (I think that's the name) and they are literally the golden retriever gf and the black cat gf 😭 do you still have this blog? asking for scientific research

– 🌟

you're welcome, i'll be here all night [ignore the timezone difference] to remind you how cool and mysterious you are. i would joke and say my inbox is technically a complaints box too but i feel like we'd make one joke about it and somehow add another conversation to our list 👀

i'm not saying i told you so but i did warn you that the second star would be too much. keep that in mind if you ever want to ask for a third one.

honestly, the joke was just going to be the blood-sucker thing which is a direct reference to vampire [both the song and the fic] but then you made the blood-sucker comment for me so my reference is kind of irrelevant by now 😶

i would poke fun at the show for that but i think all my comfort shows have those types of reviews too. i'm pretty sure hawkeye didn't do that well with the general public so i can't hold it against titans. i cannot believe you're bringing up the Lego games because, this is embarrassing to admit but, i was OBSESSED with the Lego Batman 2 game and that's exactly what led me to fall down the DC rabbit hole and eventually the Nightwing rabbit hole. after Lego Batman came Injustice and then the Batman Arkham series which is still my favorite videogame series to this day. even though i never finished origins.

i'm serious do NOT encourage me to talk about this show, i can go on for ages, it's so silly but so important to me and it honestly has the best queer representation of all the Arrowverse shows. [with the exception of Batwoman which was taken from us too soon. and yes that is another rant.] ajksdfhjaghjhdagjh that episode will live in my mind rent free until the day i die! i remember watching it when it aired and i lost my damn mind at the "i don't want you to be normal!" outburst. i love them with all my heart.

whoops, i didn't realize you didn't know. i don't know what season you stopped at but basically, without spoiling anything, Season 7 ended in a cliffhanger and then the news came out that both Legends of Tomorrow and Batwoman were cancelled AKA the two shows with the most queer representation. meanwhile, the flash [aka the show with like literally zero rep unless you count subtext] got to do its last [awful, btw] season. as you can tell, i'm still pissed about it.

i have a love-hate relationship with supercorp because i adore them but [to no one's surprise] the CW ruined them and just used their relationship as queerbait since the show was obviously going downhill. the blog is actually still up but i am far too embarrassed to leak it because...yikes.

[watchmegetobsessed]

THE DEAL

a/n: i literally wrote it in less than a day because i was inspired by a movie... of god, i have issues, but ANYWAYS! this one is a classic friends with benefits to lovers story with so much angst and a grandiose love confession at the end so buckle up, you are in for a treat!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEEEEASE give feedback if you enjoyed it!!

pairing: Harry X Reader

warnings: some, drinking, sexual content, a hell lot of it, angst and messy emotions, it’s a lot!!

word count: 11.8k

masterlist

If your life was some romantic comedy his would be the moment where the camera would zoom on you, your eyes blankly glued to the ceiling, makeup from last night smudged under them as a muscular, inked arm gets thrown across your chest, a snoozing man beside you as you have the internal little monologue.

“You’re wondering how I got into this situation, right? Completely naked with one of my best friends after a night spent with heavy drinking and ending up fucking in his apartment until we both fell asleep.”

Yeah, this is probably what the voiceover would say as the camera would slowly get farther from you, Harry’s sleeping figure coming into the frame while you’re still lying like a damn statue. This was not supposed to happen. Not that it was bad, because oh God! Harry really is as good as his ex-girlfriends gushed to you when you met them on night outs. You could never blame the women for falling for him, he has the charm, the personality, the humor and definitely the looks. If you weren’t you, you’d be one of those girls who would do anything to get his attention just for a split second. But you’re not.

Growing up with a single mother that was repeatedly fucked over by several men, you were taught to be the kind of independent woman who needs no man. Who only uses them for whatever reason and throws them away before they could even realize what’s happening. Feelings could never be involved in the equations, those are just not for you.

For a while you thought you weren’t even capable of feeling anything at all. But the way you cried when your hamster you got for your sixteenth birthday died changed your mind and you realized that you are just saving yourself the time of allowing people to make you develop feelings for them and then give them the chance to break your heart. You’ve seen that happen to your mother enough times to know that you don’t want to go through that. It’s not worth it and why would you risk it all when you could easily get what you need and move on to the next one?

Your friends always joked how you’re gonna be the single aunt to their children later who would take them to clubs and honestly? You’re just fine with that. Because you always thought that while your married friends will be busy with keeping their marriage together with whatever pathetic man they chose to marry, you’ll be living your best life without a worry on the world. That sounds pretty good for you.

There’s no need to make it prettier than what it is, you’ve had a lot of hookups the past years but you always tried to keep yourself in check, have some kind of rules to follow so you don’t hurt yourself or anyone else in the process. One of those were that under no circumstances would you ever sleep with a friend. No matter how badly you want to, no matter if they are begging, it can never happen.

But you broke that rule.

Turning your head to the side you look at Harry’s sleeping face squished into the pillow and you almost wince, because you know that when he wakes up, this gonna hurt like a bitch. He’s gonna freak out, or what’s worse, he’ll want to take it further, take you out on a date… be in a relationship with you! And you’ll have to break his heart because none of those will ever happen.

You and Harry went to high school together and he is one of the very few people you stayed in touch after graduation. Though you grew a little apart when you went to different universities, later on you both somehow ended up in New York and while you’re working as a graphic designer at a magazine, Harry is making good money from writing music for other artists. He’s been one of your closest friends these past years and while you’ve always found him attractive, you should have never let this happen, because it will mess everything up and you didn’t want to lose such a good friend.

Harry stirs in his sleep next to you, his hand squeezing your side before his eyes blink open, green irises finding your wide eyes. He stops for a moment, looking around, taking in his surroundings before his eyes fall closed again.

“Wow, must have been one wild night?” he mumbles into the pillow before a raspy chuckle falls from his lips.

Last night, the two of you and a couple of your mutual friends celebrated that Harry has gotten his biggest deal so far, having to write an entire album for an up-and-coming artist, so you all got pretty wasted, especially you and him. It’s a little blurry how the two of you ended up like this, but you do remember wildly making out hidden somewhere behind the bar before he asked if you wanted to come to his place. You stupid little thing, should have said no…

Groaning, Harry rolls to his back, his arm falling from you as he lies sprawled out next to you.

“The tequila shots. Shouldn’t have had them,” you rasp out, a smirk tugging on his lips at your words. “So, um… we both can agree this was a one time thing, right?”

Harry peeks at you, pushing himself up a bit so his head rests against the headboard. The sheets slide down a bit lower on his body, revealing his toned chest and his several tattoos. Memories of you kissing them eagerly last night flash into your mind and you can only hope you’re not blushing like a school girl.

“What if I don’t agree?” Harry cocks an eyebrow and you almost groan. You knew this was going to happen!

“Harry, I’m not going out with you. You know me, I don’t do that. It’s nice that you think that it could work between us, but I don’t do relationships and I’m not changing my rules, not even for you.”

Harry starts laughing, as if you just said the best joke of the century, his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose. You give him a puzzled look as you sit up, holding the sheets to your chest.

“Who talked about dating, Y/N?” he then asks. “You said last night was a one time thing. We fucked last night. What if that wasn’t the only time we did that?”

You start to put the pieces together, though you’d definitely be sharper if you already had your first coffee of the day.

“Are you trying to start a… friends with benefits thing with me?”

“I mean, you could call it whatever you want. I personally really enjoyed last night and judging from the way you were screaming my name, you did too.” Now you’re for sure blushing. “Why not do it again?”

“This is not a movie, H. I don’t think it’s manageable without ruining our friendship.”

“Have you ever tried something like this?” You shake your head no. “Then how could you know?”

“Have you tried it?”

“Never,” he chuckles. “But that doesn’t mean I’m wrong. We are both cool, smart people. I think we can give it a try and whenever someone is feeling like they had enough, we’re just gonna stop.”

“What if you catch feelings?” you ask, raising eyebrows at him.

“Oh, but what if you fall for me?” he throws the question back with a cocky smirk and you smack his naked chest.

“You know I never do that!”

“I don’t think you can just decide that, but alright,” he chuckles, holding his hands up in defense. “I promise you I won’t catch feelings for you, Y/N. I swear on my…”

“Your mom’s and sister’s life!” you point at him. It’s clear that he thinks it’s silly, but you just keep staring at him until he gives in.

“I swear on my mum’s and my sister’s life that I will not catch feelings for you, Y/N.”

“Alright. And we can end it anytime?”

“Whenever you’ve had enough of me,” he smirks back, so pleased with himself that it’s clear he doesn’t think that could ever happen.

“If you keep that cocky look on your face it’s gonna be a very short deal, Styles,” you warn him, but he just laughs before he quickly pulls you back down to bed, getting on top of you, his hips sinking between your legs and you gasp when you feel that he is already semi-hard.

“Why don’t we get a head start on it then?” he offers, his lips crashing against yours before they travel down your body and soon enough he gives you something that’s a thousand times better than a coffee in the morning.

At first you’re clearly hesitant about it. Not sure if it was a good idea or you just ruined everything between you and Harry, but soon enough you realize that it wasn’t as bad of a decision as you thought it to be.

Harry is the one to call you for the first time, two days after the night you drunkenly hooked up. You’re just leaving the office when he hits you up, asking if you have plans for the night or you’re free to go over to his place. An hour later you find yourself pressed up against the wall of his apartment’s hallway, both of you eager to get each other out of your clothes. Now that it all happens without either of you being drunk, you actually have the chance to think about how good it is with him. He is just the perfect mixture of dominant and soft, knows when to be the boss and when he has to slow down a bit.

He makes you cum three times. Three mind-blowing times, and you also give him two orgasms. You try to make it equal and make it three, but he respectfully says no.

“If you touched my dick again I think I would start crying,” he chuckles jokingly, so you don’t even think about pushing it.

Instead, the two of you order Chinese, have dinner together, talking like you always used to before the deal and then you go home. There’s no awkwardness, no weird situations, not even when you leave. Harry leans closer and for a moment you think he is gonna be corny and kiss you goodbye, but then you feel him smack your ass before pushing you out the door, just like he always did before, joking about how he is gonna charge you rent if you stay any longer.

Nothing has changed, only that you now spend a good chunk of your time together naked, moaning each other’s name before you get back to your usual.

So after that you don’t shy away from reaching out to Harry as well. It becomes a regular thing, the two of you meeting up about two of three times a week. You fuck, hang out a bit and go your separate ways. Slowly, you start to forget about times when you stayed dressed up for more than ten minutes after meeting Harry.

You keep switching between your and his place, but sometimes meet somewhere in the middle. You’ve had sex in a restaurant bathroom, in his car in a parking garage and even in his cousin’s place in Brooklyn. That was a bit odd but still quite pleasing.

Tonight is going to be the first time you’re gonna be out with all your friends and Harry since the deal was made. No one knows about it and you intend to keep it that way.

Once you’re done at work you head home, texting Leticia, another friend from high school to meet you at your place to get ready together. She was Harry’s friend at first, what’s better, she openly hated you at first for some reason.

“You just had a punchable face at fifteen, you can’t blame me,” she used to tell you. It was actually Harry who made the two of you friends and you’ve been close ever since.

You get to your apartment almost at the same time. Leticia starts rambling about her asshole of a boss at the law firm where she works at as you open a bottle of wine to start the evening while you roam through your wardrobe for an outfit.

“Is Leo coming? I owe him a few bucks from last time,” Leticia wonders, digging into your dresser for a pair of tights she can borrow to pair with her leather skirt.

“I think he is, but he is going to be late. He is coming from Staten Island from his dad’s,” you muse, checking yourself out in the red dress you just tried on, not quite pleased with the look, so you quickly work down the zipper and look for something else.

“Um, whose is this?”

Turning around you see that Leticia is holding up a shirt Harry left at yours a few days ago. She is clearly confused about the men’s clothing between your stuff, because you are not one to steal them from the men you sleep with since you don’t really want anything from them to remind you of them.

“Oh, um, that’s… That’s Harry’s. He left it here a few days ago,” you shrug, not making a big deal out of it, but Leticia is nosier than that.

“And why is Harry leaving his clothes around your place?”

“Is that a crime?” you snort, trying to play it cool.

“No, but in what kind of situation did this shirt come off of Harry and end up in your dresser?”

You can’t think of a good answer that would stop her from interrogating you, and the way you’ve just gotten silent is telling her more than words could. She drops the shirt, eyes widening at you and it’s clear that she put two and two together.

“Oh my God! You’re sleeping with Harry!”

“No! I’m… I just—We…”

“You two are totally fucking! What the fuck!” she gasps in complete shock as you pinch the bridge of your nose.

“Let me explain it, alright? W-We hooked up on the night when we went out to celebrate his big album deal.”

“When I couldn’t go, right?”

“Yeah. So we were both very drunk and it just happened. And I really thought it would ruin everything but we somehow ended up making a deal.”

“Jesus, you guys are acting out the Friends With Benefits movie? Who are you, Mila fucking Kunis?”

“It’s not like that!” you defend yourself quickly, but then you realize that it’s just like that so far. “Well, it kind of is, but the ending won’t be like that.”

“Do you really think you can just do it with absolutely no strings?” Leticia sighs, her hands coming to her hips as she stares back at you.

“It’s been going great, so I really think it’s doable. And if any of us decides they had enough, we’ll just call it quits.”

“Yeah, because it’s that easy,” she rolls her eyes. “One of you will catch feelings and someone is gonna end up crying, Y/N.”

“No, that’s not gonna happen,” you shake your head stubbornly. “He promised it won’t happen.”

“Feelings don’t give a shit about promises! I hope you really know what you’re doing, because I don’t want to have to choose between the two of you,” she grumbles before throwing Harry’s shirt back into the drawer, grabbing the tights she’s been looking for.

Leticia doesn’t hold a grudge for the news she just found out, but she surely has gotten you thinking. Is it really gonna end bad? Why can’t there be a scenario where it goes perfectly fine and no one gets hurt? Harry promised it’s gonna be alright and he has been proven right so far, so why are you having second guesses now?

Arriving at the bar the majority of your friend group is already there, including Harry. You sit across him in the small booth, just exchanging a quick smile before the first round arrives and the evening starts. You allow yourself to take a better look at him while he listens to Mitch’s story and you can’t say that you don’t find him hot. He is wearing a vintage, floral printed shirt, the first few buttons left undone, so you have a nice view of his chest and his necklace you’ve felt under your lips so many times before when you were kissing down his body. He keeps twisting and playing with his several rings and it makes you stare at his hands for a tad bit longer than you intended to. God, he looks so damn good, you really just want to fuck him here and now.

You keep changing who goes up to the bar to order and the third round is yours, so sliding out of the booth you go to the bar and wait for your turn. A young, handsome guy is making the drinks and you clearly catch his eyes.

“And what can I get for you, beautiful?” he smirks at you when it’s finally your turn.

“Two vodka sodas, a martini and three vodka cranberries,” you smile back at him with a hint of flirting in your tone.

It’s kind of second nature to you, a few charming smiles and winks have gotten a lot of free things for you in your life and you never miss a chance to use your advances.

“All that for one pretty girl?” he teases you.

“I would be all over the floor if I drank all of it,” you chuckle, pulling your card out of your wallet, tapping it on the terminal as he finishes up the drinks, kindly putting them on a tray so you can easily bring them over to the booth.

“Don’t worry, I would surely pick you up then,” he winks at you, placing the last drink to the tray before you thank him and head back.

As you take your previous seat you notice that Harry is watching you intently.

“What?” you mouth him over the conversation at the table.

“Nothing,” he shakes his head, turning his gaze away, grabbing his drink and focusing back on everyone else.

You go up to the bar two more times, once to ask for some chips and once for some napkins after a drink has gotten spilt onto the table. Every time you exchange a few words with the bartender and you have to admit, he has a great sense of humor paired with his looks.

Sometime later in the evening you decide to switch to water, so you go up to the bar a fourth time, the bartender coming to you right away at this point. As you wait for him to grab you your drink you feel a hand on your lower back. Turning to the side you see Harry standing next to you.

“Hey, want to come to my place after this?” he asks, leaning closer to your ear. His hot breath hits your exposed skin on your neck and a shudder runs down your spine, especially with his hand still on the small of your back.

“You want a rerun of your first time?” you smirk back at him, referring to the drinks you both have had, though it’s definitely not as wild as that night was.

“No, but this dress is making it hard not to want to rip it off,” he bluntly tells you as you glance down at yourself. At last you decided to wear a black bodycon dress that surely shows every dip and curve of your body and apparently Harry has been enjoying the show.

The bartender arrives with your water, his eyes falling on Harry and you see that he is a little taken aback by his presence.

“Hey man, can you get me another one as well? I’ll pay for both,” Harry nods at him and there’s something foreign in his tone that you can’t really put your finger on. The bartender just nods back and goes to grab another water.

“What if I wasn’t in the mood?” you tease him, continuing the discussion where you left it a moment ago.

“Oh, please!” he chuckles smugly. “I saw you eyeing me from across the table, Y/N. I know you are definitely in the mood.”

He is right. So damn right. You’ve been crossing your legs under the table for a while now, feeling your arousal growing every time you saw him run his tongue over his lips or whenever his finger played with the lip of his glass, imagining him doing the same with your body.

Biting into your bottom lip you need to take a deep breath, but when Harry sees your teeth digging into your lip, he loses his patience.

“Or we can just do it now,” he growls lowly, grabbing your hand before he starts pulling you towards the restrooms. You don’t even have the chance to protest, not that you want to.

He is quick to pull you into an empty restroom, locking the door behind the two of you before his lips attack yours, pushing you against the door with vigor and hunger. His hands are already bunching your dress up around your waist and you moan his name when your hips meet and you feel his hard length through his jeans.

“We have to be quick, so no one notices we disappeared,” he pants as he helps you up to the counter, your back hitting the cold mirror behind you.

“Then shut up and just fuck me,” you challenge him and it makes him absolutely feral.

You don’t have time to enjoy it the way you usually do in bed, but the excitement of the situation alone has gotten you so wet that you’re already dripping when he pushes your panties to the side with one hand while his other works on his own pants.

“Fuck, already so wet for me, huh?” he breathes out, his lips brushing against yours before they kiss you fully.

“Just like how you’re rock hard for me,” you grin against his lips, a hand wandering down to his cock as you pull it out of his boxers, stroking it a few times before he pulls a condom out of his back pocket and wraps himself up. “Were you counting on this quickie, Styles?” you ask when you realize that he just had a condom ready on him.

“I knew for sure I’m gonna fuck you tonight, but wasn’t sure how long I’m gonna last,” he grins, capturing your lips again before he pushes himself inside you with no warning, making you both gasp.

“Fuck! Harry!” you moan as he starts moving rapidly, definitely not taking his time like he usually does. He is pounding into you without mercy, panting against your lips as his ring clad fingers are digging into the flesh of your thighs.

“You like that? Like it when I fuck you somewhere public?” he growls, making your legs curl around his hips.

Your hands move up his chest and neck, fingers tangling into his curls and you give them a tug, earning an animalistic grunt from him as he starts going even harder and faster. You’re rapidly getting closer to your orgasm.

“You close?” he pants and you nod. “Come on, cum all over my cock, Y/N.”

A few more thrusts and your walls tighten around his dick, squeezing him as you gasp, riding your high, your head falling backwards, meeting with the mirror behind you. Harry follows you a few pushes later, moaning your name repeatedly before his movements come to a halt and you both take a moment to catch your breath.

When he pulls out you both just quietly clean yourselves up, fixing your clothes and hair so you don’t entirely scream sex with your appearances.

“My offer to come to mine after still stands,” he smirks, running a hand through his hair before you head out.

“Tempting, but I have some work to do in the morning, so no,” you turn him down, stepping out to the dark hallway that leads back to the bar. Harry grabs your hand and pulls you back, his lips smashing against yours, surprising you with his move. He kisses you deeply, sucking on your bottom lip hard before he pulls back.

“What was that for?” you ask out of breath.

“If you’re not coming over, I needed something to have a good night,” he shrugs with a smug smirk before you return to the bar.

You catch the bartender’s look as you finally get your waters and Harry pays for them. You catch the two men eyeing each other for a moment before you and Harry return to the table and you forget about the whole thing.

A Sunday afternoon you’re lounging at Harry’s. You jumped at each other’s bones when you arrived, but now you’re chilling on his couch, watching a series you both wanted to start so you decided to give it a go together. Your leg is lying across Harry’s lap, his hands absentmindedly kneading your thighs. It feels nice, like a massage, especially after how sore he made you earlier, stretching you out more than he usually does with a new pose you tried out.

Your phone chimes next to you and tearing your gaze away from the TV you check to see who just sent you a text. It was one of your coworkers, Anthony, he sent you a raging text about how he still has no idea what to wear to the company party that’s gonna be next Saturday and you realize that you totally forgot about it.

“Shit!” you curse under your breath.

“What?” Harry asks, pausing the show.

“I have this stupid work party next weekend and I totally forgot about it,” you growl, checking your calendar quickly if you can squeeze in a quick shopping spree before Saturday or you’ll have to find something in your closet.

“Aren’t those things nice with a lot of free food and drinks?” Harry wonders.

“Yeah, but I don’t like it, because all my colleagues bring their partners and I’m usually the only single one and they keep trying to set me up with someone,” you roll your eyes even at the thought of having to suffer through another one of those awkward conversations about your love life. Like it’s any of their concern!

“I can go with you if that helps,” he offers and you give him a look over your phone. “What? I’m sure if you brought someone they wouldn’t bug you.”

“But we are not together,” you remind him narrowing your eyes at him.

“They don’t have to know that. It’s a win-win, Y/N. Your colleagues would stop nagging you and I can eat and drink for free,” he smirks, clearly pleased with his little plan.

“I mean… you’re not wrong,” you sigh.

“See? Then it’s settled,” he pats your legs, smirking widely at you, but you’re still not entirely convinced. “Come on, Y/N. It’s gonna be fun!”

“This is so cliché, Harry!” you groan, your head falling back against the arm of the couch. “Pretending to be a couple? Straight out of a damn movie.”

Harry lifts your legs up so he can get out from under them, placing them back to the cushion before he climbs over to you, half of his body pressing onto yours as he squints his eyes at you.

“We can fuck in the bathroom, if you want,” he bluntly offers and you just start laughing at his dirty mind and technique of convincing you. “What? There’s literally no better offer out there. Free food, free drinks and free sex. Really good sex, if I may add,” he points out and you smack his chest lightly.

“Didn’t know you were thinking about charging me for the sex,” you joke.

“Might as well do, baby. Especially if it’s the best you can get,” he smugly huffs and you’d retort something funny, but you get caught up on the name.

“Baby? Since when are you calling me baby?”

“Since we are gonna be a couple next week. Gotta rehearse, baby,” he repeats the nickname and a foreign feeling bubbles in the pit of your stomach. Why is this one little word making you feel things you haven’t before? “And you know what else we can rehearse?” he continues, oblivious to your inner dialogue.

You don’t get to answer upon feeling his hand slide between your legs, fingers gently pressing onto your clothed clit and though you can’t stop a moan from slipping through your lips, you still grab his wrist and pull him away.

“My legs are too sore, I wouldn’t enjoy another round of you pounding into me,” you tell him and you can see the proud glimmer in his eyes that he was the one who got you into this state, though he luckily doesn’t comment on it.

“It doesn’t have to be pounding, then,” he smirks and leaning down he kisses you, taking his time as his hand frees itself from your grip and slides under your shorts and panties, fingers meeting your already throbbing bud.

He repositions himself so one of his thighs are between your legs, his lips never leaving yours as his fingers start drawing circles on your clit, sending pleasure down your body in waves.

“Fuck,” you breathe out against his lips when two of his fingers tease your entrance before pushing all the way inside, curling them between your clenching, wet walls.

“No, we are not fucking right now,” he smirks, never missing a chance to joke around and you want to retort to his comment, but words get caught in your throat when his thumb starts playing with your clit, fingers sliding in and out of you in a steady rhythm.

“So, are we on for Saturday? It’s gonna be fun, hm?”

The little shit is using his fingers to convince you and he has the audacity to ask you questions when you are about to see stars. Sometimes you really do hate how big of a smug fucker Harry is, but it’s hard to feel hatred for him when he is about to make you cum again.

“I-I don’t… Harry!” you gasp when he abruptly pulls his fingers out of you, right when you were so close. “I was about to fucking cum!” you growl, raging eyes meeting his green irises.

“I know,” he chuckles. “Say that you’re in and I’ll make you cum.”

“You motherfu—“

You don’t get to finish, his lips smashing against yours as his fingers return, moving faster than before, quickly pushing you towards the edge again.

“Say it. Say it, Y/N,” he mumbles against your lips as your chest is heaving and you start buckling your hips to meet his movements.

“Fuck… Okay! I’m in, just please make me cum!” you whine, hands gripping his shoulders like your life depends on it.

“Good girl,” he smirks and finishes you off without any more teasing.

You cry out his name, fingers digging into his muscles as you push your thighs together, trapping his hand between them while he keeps fingering you oh so perfectly. He makes sure you ride out the last waves of your orgasm before he pulls his fingers out and without batting an eye, he just licks them and fixes your panties and shorts before returning to his previous position with your legs across his lap, starting the show like nothing really happened.

Saturday morning you’re able to quickly get your nails done and Leticia comes with you, the two of you having brunch together afterwards. You go to a new place near the nail salon and as the waiter arrives with your orders, you notice that he slides a napkin onto the table with a small smile.

Grabbing it you see a phone number scribbled onto it. Normally, you send back a smile and tug the napkin into your purse, but this time you just leave it on the table and decide to ignore it.

“What the hell is up with you?” Leticia asks and glancing up at her you see her gesturing towards the napkin. “You don’t seem too thrilled about the approach which is very unlike you.”

“Yeah, I don’t know. I’m just… not interested,” you shrug, reaching for your fork.

“Not interested? The dude looks like the lovechild of Chris Hemsworth and Johnny Depp. He is exactly your type, what the fuck is wrong with you?”

“I’m just not seeking another hookup right now, that’s it.”

“Oh my God!” Leticia gasps and you give her a puzzled look.

“What?”

“You don’t want other men because of Harry!”

“What? That’s crazy,” you laugh, because she has clearly left her mind at the salon for even thinking that.

“Have you hooked up with anyone else than Harry since you’ve made your little deal?”

“I, uhh… Flirted with the bartender when we were out together.”

“Flirting doesn’t count, not even in relationships.”

“I don’t think many would agree with that, Tish,” you huff.

“Okay, but did you have any interest in fucking someone else?”

“I don’t get it why you are making a big deal out of it. Why would I seek anyone else if I’m perfectly pleased by him?”

“Honey, that’s like… how relationships work.”

“That’s not true,” you shake your head, though what would you know about relationships? Your first and only one was when you were seventeen and it lasted twenty-one pathetic days.

“Are you fucking with anyone else?” She asks, eyebrows raised at you as you shake your head no. “Are you fucking him?”

“Obviously,” you scoff.

“Do you spend time together that doesn’t include sex?”

You are almost quick to say no, but then you realize that would be a big ass lie. Every time he comes over to your place or you’re at his, it’s never just the sex. That’s always primary, but not everything you do. All the dinners, the movies and shows you’ve watched together, when you sit on your tiny balcony with a bottle of wine, talking and laughing like you always did before the deal, something always happens after the sex.

Your silence once again answers Leticia’s question. Reaching over the table she takes your hand in hers, giving it a soft squeeze.

“Girl, you are totally dating Harry.”

Leticia once again manages to put a flea in your ear about this whole Harry thing. You wish she didn’t say a thing, because now you can’t think of anything else than the fact that you really are doing all the things with Harry that people who are dating do.

You get so riled up that you almost cancel on the evening, but you’d hate to have to sit through the evening with your colleagues alone when you said you’d be bringing someone. That would make their usual nagging a hundred times worse. So instead, you suck it up and decide to ignore the issue just for the time being and you get ready.

You were able to find a new dress beforehand, the yellow dress is truly a sight to the sore eyes with the corset-like top and very subtle lace details here and there. It’s a little daring, but everyone goes all out for these parties usually and you definitely don’t want to be underdressed.

Harry texts you that he is in front of the building a little before seven, holding up the taxi he came with so you quickly grab everything you need and head out.

You’re the first one to see him through the glass entrance doors of your building, he is standing next to the car in a simple black suit and a soft yellow shirt underneath. It was actually your idea to match your outfits and he surely understood the assignment, especially seeing his also yellow nails.

Part of you is still hung up on what Leticia told you, but a bigger one is so excited to see him and also very into his look for the evening, that you push your doubts to the back of your mind and step out of the building with a shy smile on your lips as his eyes fall on you and you see his lips part.

“Wow! This dress is… wow!” he breathes out, his eyes raking your frame up and down shamelessly as you walk closer.

“Do you know any other words than wow?” you tease him, biting into your bottom lip.

“Yeah. How about: I would love to bend you over this taxi and take you here and now in this dress?”

Your face heats up immediately, slapping his arm, but then you leave your hand on his bicep and give it a squeeze as your answer: you’d definitely love that if it wasn’t kind of illegal to have sex out on a busy street.

The ignorance in you is so high that you don’t even mind how Harry keeps a hand on your thigh in the car, what’s more, you’re quite liking the warmth of his touch on you. His fingers are gently tapping against the music the driver is playing and he even hums a little along the songs.

“Hey, how is the album writing going?” you ask to break the silence a little.

“Great! They asked for fifteen songs until the end of August, so I have plenty of time, but I’m already done with six,” he beams, and you smile back at him proudly.

“That’s amazing. Can I hear any of them sometime?”

“I mean… if you buy the album?” he chuckles, making you roll your eyes at him. “I’ll see what I can do about that,” he then adds, giving your leg another squeeze before turning towards the window.

The party is just the same as it always is. A luxurious evening to celebrate the company’s success in the past six months, a way to give back to the employees and make them feel appreciated with all the free stuff. It’s nice, but you don’t feel like it’s necessary, people would be happier with a raise after all, than one night of free food and drinks.

Harry holds your hand as you walk in, the majority of the guests already present, music playing and there are several open buffet tables and bars in the gigantic ballroom that was decorated in a forest-like theme just for tonight.

“So you did not lie about bringing a date!” Anthony beams as soon as he sees you, his boyfriend, Pete following him right behind, both of them wearing matching burgundy suits.

“Have I lied to you about anything?” you chuckle awkwardly.

“Plenty of times,” he points out before turning towards Harry. “Hello handsome, I’m Anthony, Y/N’s favorite coworker, and this is my boyfriend, Pete.” They all shake hands, Harry smiling back at them warmly before his hand finds yours again, his fingers lacing together with yours in an instant.

“Nice to meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you, I’m Harry.”

“Oh my! The accent!” Anthony gushes, clearly already a fan of Harry’s. “I was really afraid Y/N just said that she is bringing someone so we would get out of her hair this time.”

“I feel offended,” you give him a look, but he just shrugs it off, even though he is more right than he knows.

“Come on, let’s get you guys a drink, we are all sitting over there!”

Joining all your coworkers at the table, you get a head start on the food and drinks, not shying away from stacking everything you like onto your plate. Talking, mixing and mingling, Harry stays right next to you, charming everyone the two of you meet, earning you some approving looks from your colleagues that usually try to set you up with someone they know. This time, you’re left in peace the moment they see Harry with you, his hand always somewhere on you, holding your hand, the small of your back, your hips or waist or, your personal favorite, the back of your neck under your hair. His presence is uplifting already, but his tiny touches just warm you even more on the inside.

“I have to say, Y/N, you are absolutely glowing!” Dianne, one of the editors compliment you when the two of you are at the bar waiting for your drinks to be refilled. Harry stayed back at the table, deep in conversation with Pete about guitars, from what you could understand from their conversation.

“Oh, thank you!” you chuckle softly.

“This man is for sure treating you well. It’s so great to see you finally finding your person.”

She meant well with her comment, but it’s what brings everything you kept hidden in the back of your head out to the front. Tonight was supposed to be all pretending, making everyone believe something that’s not even there, but then why do you feel like it’s real? Like you fooled yourself with everyone else as well?

Your eyes fall back to Harry at the table, who is intently listening to something Pete is telling him and as if he had a sixth sense, his eyes snap at you, a smile stretching across his pretty face at an instant that makes you stomach dance again, heart beating oddly fast.

What is happening to you? This cannot be real, you can’t be having feelings, especially not for Harry. No, you do not allow that for yourself, emotions are off limits for you, because if you fall for someone that gives them the chance to leave you and break you and you’ve seen what it does to a woman. You got enough of the suffering through your mother and you vowed not to let it happen to you. And not even Harry Styles will change that. This is about sex and nothing else, no feelings are involved and that will not change. You won’t let it.

Excusing yourself from Dianne you quickly go back to the table, the refills long forgotten as you take your seat next to Harry. His hand instantly finds your leg as he looks at you with a sweet smile at first that turns into slight confusion.

“Thought you went for a refill?”

“Forget the drinks,” you shake your head, leaning closer to his ear. “You promised me bathroom sex.”

You feel the shift in him right away, how he bites into his bottom lip, his bright green irises darkening at your words, his hold on your leg tightening. His gaze flickers to your eyes and you want to devour him, you want him to take you here and there to prove you that this is all it’s about: sex.

Clearing his throat he mumbles a lame excuse as he pulls you from your chair, tugging you towards the restrooms, you try to keep up with his pace in your heels, but you also can’t wait for him to slam you against the door and fuck you quick and hard.

As soon as you’re locked away from the party in one of the bathrooms, your lips collide with his as he pushes you up against the door, a leg coming between your thighs and you can’t stop yourself from grinding on him.

“Fuck,” he rasps out, hands cupping your jaw as he angles your head just right while your hands are already traveling down his body to reach his pants, eager to get them undone as fast as possible.

However the sudden rush and desperation catches Harry’s eyes and he grabs your hands, stopping you mid-action.

“Hey, everything alright?” he asks, out of breath, concern filling his eyes.

“I just need you to fuck me,” you bluntly reply, but he doesn’t move.

“Okay, but why do you look so shaken up? Did something happen?”

“Harry, stop babying me! I said I’m fine, I just want you to fuck me!” you snap, losing your patience. Not sure if it’s with him or with yourself though.

“You’re obviously not fine! You are snapping at me for being decent and making sure you’re okay!” Harry steps away from you, the moment completely ruined as all physical contact ends with him, his eyes staring back at you in disbelief and you feel like a ticking bomb that’s about to explode.

“It’s not your concern if I’m okay or not. We have a deal, just go with that and leave the rest to me!”

“But above the deal we are friends too. I’m not gonna just… fuck you senseless when you’re obviously upset about something. You’re not in the right mindset.”

“Oh my God, stop being so fucking nice! Stop making these grand gestures and stop pretending like you give a fuck!” You raise your voice and it surely surprises him, but he is still more concerned than angry at your outburst.

“What do you mean pretending? I do care about you! Is that a fucking crime now?!”

“It is because it is for the wrong reasons!” you retort, feeling your throat closing up at the same time. Oh God, you hope you won’t start crying, that will make it even worse. “I think you are taking this pretending a little too far tonight. We are not a couple, this is not real, Harry,” you remind him.

He stares back at you for what feels like eternity and you wish you could read his mind, because you can’t read anything from his eyes, he just stands there like a statue and you feel panic crawling up your spine, slowly digging its claws into your flesh.

And then he finally breaks his silence.

“And would it be so bad if it was real?”

You can’t help a sob that emits from you, feeling like your guts are in a tight grip by his words. This is exactly what you didn’t want to happen.

“No, take that back!” you whine.

“I’m not taking it back! Y/N, what we’ve been doing these past weeks is exactly what a relationship is like and you didn’t seem to have a problem with it until a label was put on it. It doesn’t have to change anything!”

“But it is! And you know I don’t do this!”

“Don’t do what? Feelings? You don’t get to choose that!” he chuckles bitterly.

“I do! I fucking do! And I chose not to have them so… this is ending here, because you clearly caught feelings,” you pant in desperate need of getting out of the bathroom, but when you are about to open the door Harry’s hand snaps against it, keeping it closed. You rest your forehead against the cool surface of it, feeling Harry stand so close to you behind, his chest is touching your back.

“Don’t just walk away, we are in the middle of a conversation,” he growls, his voice filled with anger and warning.

“I don’t have anything to say to you,” you whisper, shaking your head as you turn around and face him, your back pressing against the door.

“But I do,” he simply replies. “Why do you think you can just run away from feeling anything for the rest of your life? Why would it be so bad if you fell for someone, huh? I know you do have feelings, I know you well, Y/N. You’re not some cold hearted jerk, you are a caring and loving person, so why won’t you let yourself be happy?”

“I am happy the way I am, have you thought about that?”

“No, you’re not. I’ve known you half my life, I know that you want to be cared for, you want to be loved and cherished, yet you push away everyone who wants to give you that.”

“Because it’s not that easy, Harry!” you snap at him. “It’s never just the lovey-dovey shit! Feelings come with hurt and pain and heartbreaks and I don’t need that! I can’t handle that!”

“It’s not always the case! But if you never put yourself out there, you’ll never find the happiness you’re seeking!”

“Well, for me, it doesn’t worth it! I don’t want to fall for someone, plan my future with them and open up to them completely only for them to fall out of love with me one day and decide they don’t want anything to do with me! I don’t want to give anyone the chance to hurt me like that, because I’ve seen what it does to a person! I witnessed it all, Harry! I will not be a victim to that!”

You’re full on shouting, tears rolling down your cheeks at this point. You are letting everything out that’s been bottled up deep inside of you all this time. Nothing can make you believe in the fairytale that will never become your reality and you rather save the time and pain than experiment with it.

What really hurts is that now you are losing your friend. Your best friend. Because the way Harry is looking at you makes it obvious that you’ll never be like before the deal. The hurt, the shock, the panic and the anger, it all mixes in his wide-eyed gaze and it’s like a knife into your chest.

“You promised me, Harry,” you sob, voice now barely more than just a whisper. “You swore you wouldn’t catch feelings but you lied!”

“I didn’t lie,” he simply answers clenching his jaw. “I said I wouldn’t catch feelings for you, but truth is… I already had them. I was already in love with you, have been for a while. And you know what? I think you love me too, but you’re just too afraid to admit it. I know it because I can feel it. The way you touch me, look at me, the way you talk to me, it’s written all over you, but you choose to ignore it.”

“You don’t know shit,” you shake your head vigorously. “You think you know it, but you don’t.”

“Stop denying it, Y/N! You can’t just switch it off! Loving is not as horrendous as you think it is! Yes, it comes with pain too, but the good is always there to make you forget about it. You have to give it… you have to give yourself a chance!”

“I don’t have to do anything, Harry,” you sass back, pushing him away so you have the chance to sneak out of the room before he could stop you. But he doesn’t let it end that easily. Running after you he catches your wrist before you could get out of the hallway, pulling you back.

“Don’t just fucking walk away, Y/N! We need to talk about this!”

“No, we don’t. And I’m done with this. Done with… you.”

It hurts. The words rolling off of your tongue hurt, but you choose to ignore it once again as you shake his hand off of yourself, marching back to your table to grab your bag and leave.

“What do you mean you’re done with me? Don’t do this, Y/N! Let’s just fucking talk!”

Harry keeps trying to stop you, but you’re determined to leave. Your coworkers notice the little scene, but you don’t pay it any attention as you head out of the room, knowing well they’ll talk shit about you behind your back as soon as you’re out of the building.

“Y/N for fuck’s sake just stop already!” Harry snaps, grabbing your arm once again when you’re outside, pulling you back, but you’ve had enough.

“No! I’m not stopping, you need to stop! Stop trying to make yourself believe this is anything more than just the deal we made! It’s not and it will never be, because you don’t get to have the privilege of hurting me, nobody gets to do that!”

“Who said I want to hurt you?! That’s the last thing I would want to do! It’s not as cruel as you imagine it, Y/N. I know that your mum had a terrible love life when you were younger, but that’s not the only side to love! There are so much good about it, so much to fight for and endure with the bad sides, you can’t just throw all of it out the window because you decided love is just not for you!”

“I can and I will. Watch me!” you bite back, tearing your arm out of his hold as you step to the side of the pavement and wave a taxi down.

“Please don’t get into that car, Y/N, let’s talk!”

“We talked enough,” you huff as the car stops in front of you and you hop inside, but just as you are about to close the door Harry once again stops you.

“Y/N, I love you. Please don’t do this!” he begs, so much sorrow and pain radiating from his face and for a moment you fall weak. You almost reach out to him, because part of you hates seeing him like this, especially knowing that it’s because of you. You just want him to be happy, but you know it’s not gonna be with you. You can never give him what he wants and needs. He’ll be better off without you.

“I’m sorry,” you choke out before pulling the door closed and the car drives away. Turning around you see him stand on the pavement, completely broken and shaken, his hands tangling into his hair as he angrily kicks at the dirt before the car melts into the traffic and he falls out of your sight.

You did it for your and Harry’s sake. It had to be done and you are both better off this way. At least that’s what you’ve been trying to convince you to believe.

But why does it hurt so badly then?

Harry tried you calling a million times after you left him at the party, he even came after you and banged on your door for thirty minutes straight, begging you to let him in and just talk, but you didn’t even answer him. Just waited until he left before you curled up in the shower and cried for about an hour.

The calls and texts kept coming in the next few days, but after a while he gave up. He got nothing but silence from your side and one last, long ass text that you didn’t even read because you knew you’d just start crying again, he finally gave up.

You were left alone with all the pain and emptiness and you realized how big part of your life Harry played before. Somehow, everything reminded you of him and you couldn’t do anything without wishing he was with you.

You truly believed that time will heal you, that soon you’ll realize that you made the right decision, but days turned into weeks and nothing changed, you just learned to live with the pain. You stopped going out with your friends and not just because you were afraid of seeing Harry, but because you genuinely couldn’t get yourself to leave the house. Your evenings consisted of binge eating all the ice-cream you could find in your freezer and watching reruns of your favorite shows, but nothing could really take your mind off of Harry.

Day after day you cancelled on Leticia as well until she had enough of your hermit life. She got fed up watching you sink into your pit of sorrow and decided to take things into her own hands and not let you run away from her.

A Friday evening you’re doing what you’ve been doing for weeks now, lying on your couch in sweatpants, scrolling through Netflix when there’s a knock on your door. You wait, hoping whoever it is will think you’re not home and go away, but another obnoxious knock rips through the apartment and you growl.

“I know you’re in there bitch, open the fucking door!” Leticia shouts from outside and you curse the day you became friends with her. Maybe you would have been better off as enemies.

“I’m busy!” you call out, but make your way to the front door anyway, opening it to reveal her.

“Yeah, I can see that. Busy with being a bag of trash,” she comments on your appearance, walking inside without an invitation.

“Jeez, you really did wake up today and chose violence,” you mutter under your breath as you shut the door closed.

Leticia is quick to turn the TV off and open up the windows as you just stand there, not sure what she is doing here.

“When did you clean this place? And when was the last time you took a shower?” she asks, her nose scrunching when she takes a better look at you.

“Okay, did you come here to offend me? Because I don’t need that so please leave.”

“No, I’m here to beat some sense into you.”

“Good luck with that,” you scoff, taking your spot on the couch once again. You reach for the remote with the intention of turning the TV back on, but Leticia stands in front of the screen, blocking the device completely as she stares down at you with a disapproving look, arms folded on her chest.

“You’re acting like a child, Y/N. Avoiding everyone and being mad at the whole world, are you an emo teenager now or what?”

“I’m not mad at the whole world!”

“Okay, then you’re mad at just Harry, still, it’s a mistake.”

“I’m not mad at only Harry either,” you admit truthfully.

“Who else then?”

“Myself?” you mumble, eyes falling closed as you slide lower down on the couch.

“That makes the two of us, but why are you mad at yourself?” she asks, finally moving from her spot in front of the TV as she sits next to you on the couch, crossing her legs as she waits for your answer.

“Because…” you start with a sigh, opening your eyes, but you avoid looking at her, instead, you stare at the wall across you. “Because I can’t fucking stop thinking about him,” you admit and your lips start trembling instantly, just like every time you think about him. “I miss him so fucking badly, Tish! I miss our conversations, I miss his stupid jokes, I miss him raiding my fucking fridge and I miss…”

You bite your tongue, not wanting to admit the next thoughts loudly. Because you miss kissing him, you miss holding him and be held by him. You miss sex too, but you miss the tiny things even more, the way his lips feel against yours, how he smiles against them when you whimper his name and you miss the awkward little things the most. When he accidentally bumps his head against yours or when say random shit right before he pushes into you just to make you laugh, or when he leans in for a kiss but misses it and ends up kissing your nose or just the corner of your mouth. You miss everything about him and you hate him for that, but you hate yourself even more. It feels like your own conscious has betrayed you.

Shutting your eyes closed you let the tears roll down your cheeks as Leticia scoots closer and wraps her arms around you, cooing soothingly at you.

“It’s alright. It’s totally normal, Y/N.”

“It is not! Not for me at least!” you protest pulling back, wiping your cheeks with the back of your hands.

“Stop with the bullshit already!” she growls in annoyance. “You are not some kind of ice queen who is incapable of loving! You love me, right?”

“Yeah, but that’s different,” you roll your eyes.

“Not really. You love your other friends as well, right?” You nod. “And you love your mom,” she adds and you nod again. “Would you do anything for these people?”

“Of course.”

“Do you like spending time with them? Do you care about them in all kinds of ways?”

“Yes,” you sigh, fumbling with the hem of your shirt.

“Do you feel the same way about Harry? Do you care about him, would you do anything for him to make him happy?”

“Yes,” you whisper truthfully.

“Then don’t complicate it. You love him, no big deal! And he surely loves you back, because he told you, right?” You nod. “Then pull your head out of your ass and just let yourself be happy for once.”

“Why are you coming with this too? I was happy on my own too!”

“No, you were getting by,” she points it out. “You were doing good, but you weren’t… a whole. Harry gave you everything you missed, but for some fucked up reason you think it’s the end of the world to depend on someone else partially when it comes to your happiness. Which can be a smart thing, it’s important to be your own person and be independent, but sometimes we need some help from others. From people that love us and we love them back. It’s not a crime, Y/N.”

“No, but it’s gonna end up with me being heartbroken.”

“You already are,” she ruthlessly replies, bringing your attention to what you’ve been trying to ignore all this time. “Hate to break it to you, but this is what that feels like. So why not just go with it, you already felt the pain, now you could go for the good parts as well.”

“I don’t know if I can do it, Tish,” you breathe out, resting your head against the back of the couch. “Even if I did it, I know I would mess it up and hurt him or maybe he’ll do something stupid and hurt me and I don’t think I can handle that.”

“So what? It’s part of the deal. And besides, you’re already hurting each other, so you better get your shit together,” she scoffs, poking your side playfully.

It’s part of the deal. Are you ready to make a new deal? One that you’ve been avoiding your whole life? Are you ready to cut yourself open for someone else and just hope for the best?

Probably not. And probably you’ll never be. But your tactics didn’t succeed so far, you still ended up in pain so why not give it a chance? Even if it’s gonna be the hardest thing you’ve ever done?

“Do you think he hates me now?” you ask quietly, peeking at her scared of her answer.

“He is a bit mad at you for shutting him out, but he could never hate you. That man loves you so much, it’s almost disgusting,” she admits, making you chuckle. “Just… be honest with him and talk to him. You need it. You both need it.”

Harry’s fingers strum against the chords again, trying to get the tune right, but he fails again, a frustrated growl leaving his lips as he lets his head fall forwards. He’s been trying to finish the song for hours, but it still hasn’t come together the way he imagined and his patience is running short.

It’s been hard for him to focus on writing, with you on his mind all the time, everything seems like a hard task. He has written plenty of songs since the night at the party, but he could never use them for his job. One, because they are so fucking sad and depressive and they asked for upbeat hits from him, and two, because they are all so personal, he could never give them to someone else. He can’t let anyone else sing the lines he wrote to you, but you’ll probably never hear them.

Giving up on finishing the song today, he puts the guitar aside and calls it a day. Walking into the kitchen he opens the fridge and realizes that it’s completely empty aside from a bottle of ketchup and a single banana. He’s been such a mess lately, he forgot to go grocery shopping yesterday. Huffing to himself he grabs the banana and reaches for his phone to order something right when his doorbell rings. He is not expecting anyone, but Mitch has been popping in every few days to check in on him since everything that went down with you, so Harry is convinced it’s him again.

“Great timing, do you want Italian or Chinese?” he asks, walking up to the door, but as he swings it open he freezes when he sees you standing on the doormat. “Y/N…” he breathes out as if he was seeing a ghost.

“Hi! I-I hope I’m not bothering you o-or anything…” you ramble nervously.

“No! No, come on in!” He snaps out of his trance and steps aside, letting you walk inside. A feeling of nostalgia hits you right away as you think back at the last time you were here. Just a few days before the party, when everything was different.

“I’m sorry I came without asking, I just… I would say I was nearby, but that’s not true,” you chuckle anxiously as the two of you walk into the living room. You notice that his place is a little messier than usually, but it’s not nearly as bad as yours was before you did a deep cleaning yesterday after Leticia’s comments on it.

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it. What… What brought you here?”

“I, uhh… I’ve been thinking. A lot. And I have a few things I need to tell you.”

For a moment Harry’s stomach drops, because he thinks you came here to tell him off one more time for breaking your deal, for everything that happened at the party. He is already bracing himself to just let you lash out on him, but it never comes. And when you speak up again, he nearly faints.

“I love you.”

It’s a strong start, definitely a surprising one. Harry’s lips part and his eyes widen, his look almost comical, but you’re not laughing, not now. You have a lot to tell him and you can only hope he won’t throw you out after everything is said.

“I love you and I’m sorry it took me so long to stop ignoring it, but I promise you I’m done with that. And I’m sorry for everything I said to you that night, I was… mad and confused and I didn’t know how to deal with everything at once. I was delusional and ignorant and… a fool for thinking that I could just choose to never have feelings, especially for you,” you add with a tiny, nervous chuckle. “You were right. About everything. That I can’t live without ever putting myself out there and risking it. And I think deep down I knew that, but I was so afraid of getting hurt that I made myself believe I’m good on my own, but I’m not. Not entirely, to be precise. Because sometimes it is worth risking it and… and I realized that you are the person for me who is worth this risk.”

The tears are already blurring your vision, for the millionth time these past weeks, but it feels right now. Opening up to Harry and telling him all of this is hard, but with every spoken word you feel lighter and more relieved.

“I’m sorry if I made you think that I don’t love you, because I do. I really do. You are my best friend and these past weeks have been hell for me without you. I was so keen on avoiding a heart break that I ended up breaking my own heart,” you chuckle bitterly, the first tear running down your cheek.

Harry reaches out and wipes it away with his thumb and you involuntarily melt into his touch. You’ve been starved for it and now it feels like home. When you look up and your eyes meet his, you see that they are red too and it just makes you want to cry even more.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you, I just thought that I was doing the right thing, but I was so far from that. So I’m really sorry and I understand if you don’t want to see me again for the way I acted. I was… a horrible friend and… an even worse girlfriend.”

“Girlfriend?” he asks quietly.

“Yeah. Because you were right, we were more than just the deal and… if you choose not to throw me out after this, I would… I would love to give it a try with you. I want to be the girlfriend you deserve and though I’m sure I’ll mess it up a lot of times, I promise I’ll try my best, becau—“

He makes your rambling stop in the best way possible, lips smashing against yours as he cups your tear-soaked cheeks in his warm palms, pulling you close to him, your arms curling around his waist immediately.

Harry has kissed you several times before, but none of them compares to this. It’s messy and salty from both your tears, but you wouldn’t change a thing about it, the way his lips move against yours, tongues meeting, devouring each other, making up for the lost time and full of promises for the future. You hold onto his shirt at his back for dear life as he just keeps kissing you over and over again until you both run out of breath.

“So, does this mean you’re not throwing me out?” you joke, breaking the silence once you’ve pulled back.

“Fuck no,” he laughs, pecking your lips a few more times before his lips meet your forehead. “You are not leaving this place, ever. You’re trapped,” he adds to the joke and you break out in a relieved laughter.

“Wait, so I’m stuck with you now?” you whine playfully, but all you get is another kiss on the lips, hard and demanding.

“Yeah, forever, baby. You won’t get rid of me now, not after the speech you just gave me,” he smirks down at you, his arms coming to curl around your shoulders as he keeps you pressed against him tightly. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” you reply, your heart soaring as you hear those words again from him, this time, not even trying to dodge them in any way. In fact, you just want to hear him say it every minute over and over again for the rest of your life. “And I’m happy to be stuck with you,” you add with a shy smile as his grin widens at your words.

“Yeah? So we have a new deal then?” he teases, kissing the corner of your mouth.

“Absolutely.”

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed it!

[ijustwant2write]

Runaway-Finn Shelby x Reader

(GIF credit to @dialnfornoir​)

Masterlist

Summary: On her brisk walk home, (Y/N) witnesses a brutal Peaky Blinder attack, attempting to run away when Finn Shelby comes after her, only to sweep her off her feet.

Characters: Finn Shelby x Reader

Meanings: (Y/N)=Your name 

(Y/L/N)=Your last name

Warnings: Violence, fighting, blood, fluff

                                      *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Come on (Y/N), not even one drink? We won't even make you stay, just the one!" my friend moaned as I denied their proposal of going to the Garrison.

"You said that last time, and I ended up staying until early hours." I laughed.

They all put their hands together as they started begging. I also laughed at this, embarrassed by the attention that was suddenly on us.

"No, seriously. I have to be good with money this month. Thanks to you lot, I'm having to be frugal for the rent."

They sighed."Fine, we won't make you come. But you will be missed. Just get home safe, OK?"

"I will. You too, please don't get too drunk and end up sleeping outside."

"That was one time!"

I shook my head as we giggled, waving goodbye when I turned to walk home. We had just finished work, so it was still relatively light out; I would say it was less dangerous to walk alone, but we did live in Small Heath. Yawning after the long, boring shift, I adjusted my coat around me, trying to keep warm. All I wanted was a good dinner, get cleaned up and snuggle into bed, maybe read a few chapters of the book I had if my eyelids could stay open. I was only in my early twenties and already feeling like an old woman.

Home wasn't far, a good twenty minute walk, which could be a bad thing if it was raining, a lovely stroll if not. I lived in the better part of Small Heath (if there even was one), walking home from work had never been an issue. Until I heard the unfamiliar sounds of desperate begging and crying, as well as thumps and slaps of skin of skin contact. My eyes widened, heart beat accelerating when I realised someone was begging for their life. There was no other way home for me, I had to take this route. What I should have done was turn around to join my friends for that drink, but the natural human tendency to be curious took over. As I cautiously continued my way home, I couldn't help but glance down the alleyway behind a row of houses, spotting four young boys surrounding an older man, who looked like he was being beaten to a pulp by one of them. I froze, having never seen a brawl like this up close. It was as if I were delayed, somehow taking ages to register that I had to leave before they spotted me.

Unfortunately one of their heads snapped up to look at me, tapping his friends on the shoulder, pointing at me as he shouted for them to stop. My legs still wouldn't move, staring at the man who's face was soaked red with his own blood. It wasn't until one of the young men started approaching me that I sprinted away, suddenly terrified about what could happen to me.

I cursed myself for being such a bad runner, as well as the shoes I was wearing. My lungs were working incredibly hard, my throat drying up whilst my mind panicked as it tried to remember which way was home. I let out a scream as the boy grabbed me, crying out in pain when they pushed me against the brick wall. Attempting to scramble out of their hold was useless, they were pushing their whole weight on me, I had no escape.

"(Y/N)?" he said my name.

My eyes widened, realising who had a hold of me. It was Finn Shelby.

"(Y/N) (Y/L/N)? We went to school together. You might not remember me, but we definitely did."

"Of course I remember you! You're Finn fucking Shelby.”

"Oh right."

"Please don't hurt me."

He looked confused."Hurt you? Why would I do that?"

"Well, you're currently pinning me against a wall, and I'm finding it a bit hard to breathe if I'm honest."

He glanced down, quickly pushing himself away from me. I tried to hide getting my breath back, letting out a quick cough. It seemed he wasn't going to hurt me, and he wasn't being sadistic about that phrase either.

"I'm sorry. You alright?"

I slowly nodded, still wanting to be on the safe side.

"I remember you from school. Obviously changed a lot, though I have seen you from time to time."

"Right."

"Look, uh, what you saw back there, I need you to forget it."

"Finn," I was scared to say his name but I did anyway,"you almost killed him."

"You know I'm a Peaky Blinder, right?"

"How could I not? And are you trying to justify what you did?"

"(Y/N), he ran a brothel using children."

"Oh."

"I mean, you couldn't have known that, so I can see how that looks from a different perspective."

"Well, I totally agree with your actions then."

"I still need you to keep quiet about the whole thing."

"Um, of course."

"Where were you headed?"

This was the longest conversation I had ever had with Finn, with a Peaky Blinder. I briefly remember him as a child, you never do have specific memories at such a young age, though I probably played with him during break time.

"Home."

"Let me walk you."

"No, honestly it's fine, it's not far."

"I insist. Part of my apology for scaring you earlier."

"Part of your apology?"

"Yeah, I'm taking you out for drinks tomorrow."

I started thinking I might have been in a dream."Sorry?"

"Do you always act this surprised at what people say? A catch up drink."

"That's alright, really, if you're trying to make it up to me-"

"Come on, just one?"

It was like deja vu.

"If you're busy tomorrow, we can always go tonight. Yeah, you know what? Let's do that instead!"

"No, Finn, really I'm fine."

"I won't take no. Please, it'll be nice, I promise all I'm asking for is a drink."

I felt obligated to go, still in a bit of shock from what happened. But my friends were at the Garrison, if they saw me with Finn they would think I was ditching them, and what would it look like for me to be walking in with a Shelby?! However, I felt bad when I saw how happy Finn was; and even if he tried anything later I would undoubtedly slap him, I wasn't afraid of that (I tried to convince myself). When I agreed, his smile grew even bigger, instantly heading towards the pub.

I was trying to focus on what he was babbling on about, only my mind was preoccupied with the dreaded stares of my friends. That was one fo the worst things you could do as a girl, ditch your friends for a boy. Then there would be questions about how I met him, why didn't I tell them, why didn't I bring him along to drinks etc. I'd look like any other desperate girl that tried to cling onto the arm of any Shelby, desperate for a taste of the dangerous, gangsta life, even if it was just for one night.

As we walked in, I felt sick, immediately spotting my friends on their usual table they always tried to grab. They hadn't seen me yet, so I attempted to hide behind Finn, keeping my head down as we stood at the bar.

Finn was served first before anyone else."Whiskey Harry, and you?"

"Um, wine please."

"Just put them through the window, yeah?"

I was confused when we walked to the private room, it felt like I was trespassing. Though this gave me a good hiding place from my friends, chancing to glance back at them before disappearing. They still hadn't seen me.

Finn casually sat down, looking relaxed. I stood, not sure whether to join him, which was a stupid thing to think when he had invited me.

"Are you going to stand there the whole time?" he chuckled.

I said nothing as I sat down opposite him, not wanting to become trapped in the booth with him. I still wasn't sure what to say once seated, hating that this could become awkward at any second.

"Are you OK? You seem a bit shaken up still." he asked.

"I'm fine." I squeaked out, knowing he could see right through me.

"You're all nervous, what's wrong?" he smirked.

I sighed."My friends are out there."

"Oh, well go tell them to join us."

"No!" I snapped too quickly."Look, I said no to drinks earlier, hence why I was on my way home, and I was scared what they would think or feel if they saw me waltz in with you."

"Don't want to be seen with a Blinder?"

"No, just didn't want them to think I chose a boy over my friends."

He gave me a pointed look.

"And I guess it would seem strange if I suddenly walked back in with a Blinder."

"Why did you say no in the first place?"

"Because money is tight. That was another reason I was hesitant to come, honest."

"You're not paying (Y/N)."

"Oh, Finn-"

"No, because I literally get this stuff for free." the small window into the room opened."Speaking of."

He reached over and grabbed our drinks, handing mine to me before clinking the glasses together. Unlike Finn, who threw the whole drink back, I sipped on my wine, and god was it good. He slammed the glass back down onto the table, letting out a satisfied breath.

"So what have you been up to since school?"

"Well, I've got a job at this clothes shop, you might have passed it but we only deal with women’s clothing, so I doubt you’ve been in. Uh, I actually started there as a shop assistant after I left school, you know, running errands and doing the little things no one else wanted to do. Then they started giving me proper jobs, I’m also a book keeper now and-” I glanced at Finn, realising that I was rambling,“-sorry, I’m talking too much.”

“No, no you’re not.” he chuckled, waving a hand in the air.

“Long story short, I work in a clothes shop. What about you?”

I closed my eyes as soon as I finished my sentence, wincing at my stupidity.

“I didn’t mean, I wasn’t trying to be smart or pry, obviously I know...no I don’t know...”

“You’re cute when you stumble over your words.”

I wasn’t expecting that.“E-excuse me?”

Before things could get any more awkward, the door opened, making us both jump. I felt my heart drop down into the pit of my stomach when I saw who it was, and I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me; his brothers were here.

“What the fuck are you doing in here Finn boy?”Arthur asked (if you didn’t know all their names, you had to be incredibly simple).

“Failing to get another bird in your bed?” John smirked.

“Shut up John.” Finn spat.“This is (Y/N), she’s an old friend from school.”

They filtered in. John scoffed.“Surprised you remember anything about school. Have you asked him what five pus five is?”

John and Arthur laughed as they sat down opposite us, Thomas standing besides the window for the drinks. I clasped my hands together as they started to shake out of nerves. I was in a room with the Shelby brothers, the men who ran one of the most feared gangs in England, and I had no clue what to do with myself. 

“Um, I think I should go.” I pathetically mumbled out.

“Don’t be rude Finn,” Thomas said,“show the lovely, young lady out.”

Finn was glaring at his brothers as we stood. I slowed down my steps so I didn’t appear to be running away from them. Finn opened the door for me, and I felt weightless as soon as I stepped out of that room. He followed me out, running a hand down his face.

“I’m sorry about them. They’re just being their usual stupid selves.” he apologised.

“It’s alright, really. Don’t tell them they bothered me or anything because they really didn’t.”

“You don’t have to worry. They won’t do anything to you because we had a drink together.”

“Sorry, just not used to...”

“Meeting a gangster?”

I hummed in agreement.“Yeah.”

“Look, I definitely need to go back in there. But I liked this. Apart from how we bumped into each other.”

“Yes, that could have been different.”

“I would like to do this again though.”

“You would?”

“There you go again, acting all surprised. How about this weekend?”

“I-I’m free this weekend.”

“Great. I’ll pick you up at six on Saturday.” he smiled at me, turning to go back into the private room before calling the bartender.“Oh, Harry, another wine for my friend.”

He winked at me, then disappeared into the room. I heard heckling and teasing from his brothers. I could feel that my cheeks were heating up from blushing, though I also couldn’t help but smile. Thanking the bartender for the wine, I quickly took it, freezing when I saw my friends staring at me. Sighing, I took a big gulp of the drink before making my way towards them. This was going to be a longer night than I thought.

[mackenzielovee]

Hi, I loved crazy love. Literally I become obsessed, so I was wondering if you could write something about them when they are moving to their new apartment near to college and both of their families are helping them to have everything in order, but Rafe only want them to leave to be all alone with you in their new home. Maybe a little bit of smut?

a/n: this idea had my heart bc i'd really been wanting to write something like this ;) i hope you enjoy! thanks so much for the request!

Warnings: swearing, smut, mentions of planned pregnancy, discussion of sex

crazy love masterlist

my writing

our home: crazy love blurb - rafe cameron

"No, no a little to the left. Ward, are you listening to me?"

You sigh as you set the very last box down on the kitchen counter, stealing a glance at Rafe, who is sitting on your new couch. His head is in his hands as he listens to his parents bicker back and forth, trying to hang up the painting they had bought the two of you. Rose had gushed over it when she bought it, telling you it would match the rest of your decor perfectly.

"Of course, darling. You're talking loud enough," Ward gripes, shifting the painting to the left as Rose demands.

"Oh, come on, now. Back over to the right-"

"It's straight!" Rafe raises his voice, standing up from the couch.

You inhale sharply and step into the living room of your new apartment, wrapping an arm around him to try and calm him down. Ever since his parents and Wheezie arrived with the moving truck to help you both, he's been on edge. When your parents showed up with Macy, you thought he was about to go into cardiac arrest.

"Actually, I think it might just be straight," Rose nods, "Good eye, Rafe."

"Thanks so much," he remarks sarcastically.

"Hey," you whisper to him, trying to tell him to quit being mean to his step-mom, "They're here to help, remember?"

Rafe rolls his eyes, "I could do this shit myself."

"Because you're such a handy man?" you snort.

Rafe clenches his jaw as he looks down at you, but can't help the smirk on his face. He pulls you closer to him, leaving a gentle kiss on your forehead.

"Where did Macy and Wheezie go? They should start on those kitchen boxes," Rose tells Ward, stepping away from her husband to look for them.

"We can handle the kitchen boxes," Rafe tells her.

"Y/N?" Rose looks to you for a final answer.

You glance up at Rafe only for a second, noting the look on his face, then nod your head in agreement.

"I like the kitchen organized a certain way, anyway," you tell her with a smile.

She nods her head, "All right. Ward and I can start on your sheets-"

"Y/N's parents are taking care of that," Rafe informs her.

Wheezie and Macy come tumbling into the front door, running past all of you and into your bedroom with your parents.

"What the hell are those two up to?" Ward questions.

Wheezie and Macy have become as thick as thieves, the best of friends, over the summer. One day, you'd shown up at Rafe's only to find your sister in her kitchen with Wheezie, baking away. Ever since then, you and Rafe have had to be extra quiet upstairs.

Rose and Ward step toward your bedroom as well, which is down a small hallway just off the kitchen. Rafe grabs your hand and yanks you with him, following the crowd of people.

"Can everyone get out of our bedroom, please?" Rafe grumbles, standing behind his father and watching your parents finish up making your bed.

Your parents had not been crazy about you and Rafe living together right as you both make the transition to college. You had cried, begged, threatened to not go to school, and even dragged Rafe over for a family dinner so all of you could talk the situation out. You'd never seen Rafe's face so red as the night he had to sit at a dinner table and discuss with your father how the two of you would be sleeping in the same bed.

When your parents found out that the Camerons would be financing your rent bill, however, the living situation had changed. Your parents hadn't realized how expensive dorm living is, and the thought of not having to pay for housing on top of tuition sounded like a dream come true.

Which is how you land in your new, empty kitchen, trying to hold Rafe back from killing every family member the two of you currently have within arms reach.

"It's quarter to three," your dad tells your mother over your bed.

"Macy," your mom speaks, "Get your stuff, honey. We have to get going."

"Yeah," Rafe perks up, earning the attention of his parents, "You guys should get moving, too. Y'know, lots of traffic, and Wheezie's got that thing early in the morning."

Wheezie opens her mouth to speak, but stops suddenly when Rafe gives her the death stare. She looks to you, to which you just shrug, and then turns back to her parents.

"What thing?" Rose asks her. Ward's phone buzzes in his pocket, earning his attention.

"Uh," Wheezie hesitates, looking to Rafe once more.

"Girl scout meeting," Rafe blurts.

You cover your face with your free hand to try and prevent Rose from seeing your laughter. You truly have no idea where Rafe gets this idea that Wheezie is old enough to be in girl scouts. Wheezie narrows her eyes at him, shaking her head slightly.

"Girl scout?" Rose questions to herself, still trying to figure it out when Ward speaks up, eyes still glued to his phone.

"Wheezie, get your stuff. You won't want to be tired in the morning at your meeting."

Wheezie rolls her eyes but does as she's told, making her way out of your bedroom and down the hall to collect her things in the living room.

"Seriously, Rafe?" she hisses, "Girl scouts? I'm fourteen-"

"Shut up, Wheeze," Rafe says back to her through gritted teeth.

Wheezie turns to you, "He's your problem, now."

"Oh, boy, do I know it," you tease Rafe, smiling with Wheezie. She laughs, but it's short lived when Rafe shoves her away.

"Get your shit," he mutters.

"Stop it," you demand, stepping in front of him and holding onto his forearms as they are wrapped around your waist.

The one thing you love about Rafe more than anything is how he always shows affection to you, even if your parents or his parents are around. He just doesn't seem to care about anyone except you.

"I want them to go," he defends himself, keeping his voice quiet, "I just want to be alone with you. In our home. I didn't realize that was such a difficult request."

You smile up at your fussy boy, dragging one hand up to his face to stroke his cheek. You can faintly hear your families moving around the two of you, but you're too lost in your own little world to think too much about it.

"Be patient," you whisper to him.

He smirks, "Will you make it worth my while?"

You give him back the same look, loving the way he smirks at you and allows his eyes to rake over every inch of your face and torso. It takes everything in him not to just grab you by the throat and kiss the hell out of you, only controlling himself because your dad is ten feet away.

"Don't I always?"

Rafe groans, trying his best to keep his composure. He has to close his eyes as he continues to whine, knowing that if he keeps looking at you, he'll be hard in no time.

"All right," Rafe says loudly, tugging himself away from you, "Thanks for coming, everyone, but we have a lot to unpack here. Dad, Rose, Wheezie, I'll show you to the door."

You snicker as you watch him attempt to lead his confused family out the door. You turn to your own family, giving hugs and promising to call whenever you can. Rose refuses to leave without giving you a hug, which pisses Rafe off, as he's gotten Ward and Wheezie out successfully and only needs one more.

Rose promises to send flowers, one that match the color scheme of course, and tells you she'll call you to check on Rafe, since he doesn't bother to return her calls. You give Wheezie a hug and give Ward a polite smile and wave from the doorway.

The second they're all out the door, Rafe slams the door shut and locks it before any of them can decide they forgot something.

"Ah, free at last," you joke.

Rafe turns around, licking his lips as he thinks about how you two finally have an empty house and he has you all to himself. No distractions, no parents, no little sisters listening intently at the door for secrets and drama. He eyes you up and down once, and when he brings his blue orbs to meet yours again, you know what he's thinking.

"Come here," he demands, but he can't help himself.

That boy rushes over to you, pushing you up against the wall in the entryway of your new apartment, kissing you as if his life depends on it. You accept his kiss without a second thought, allowing your hands to wrap themselves around his neck.

"Up," he mutters against your lips, hands guiding themselves to your waist as you jump up and let him position himself in between your legs, wrapping them around his torso.

He moves his kisses to your cheek, then your jawline, then your neck, while his hands relentlessly roam your ass.

"Rafe," you say, tilting your neck to give him more space.

"Hmm," he hums against your skin, not stopping or slowing down for anything.

"I really do have to unpack the kitchen if you want to eat dinner tonight," you tell him, although you're fully aware he would never set you down for anything right now.

"Not hungry."

"Rafe-"

"I think," he stops you, wet kisses trailing your collarbone, "We should fuck everywhere. Y'know, break the place in."

Even though you two have been together for a while, him saying things like that to you always seems to send tingles through your whole body. He always knew what to say, what to do, to get you riled up in all the right ways.

"That would take us all night," you whisper, smirking because you already know what he's going to say.

"Fine with me, baby."

You smile, then reach down and grab ahold of his cheek with your hand. You lead his lips back to yours, kissing him harder than you had been before. He moans into your mouth and you know you have him right where you want him now.

"Kitchen first?" he questions, breathless, "Or should we mess up that pretty little bed your parents just made up?"

The raspiness in his voice gets you going, enough for him to notice you squirming in his grip. He grins, knowing exactly what it is you need.

"Kitchen," you tell him, watching as he barely nods before he kisses you again, carrying you over and setting you on the counter.

With ease, he removes your shorts and underwear, dropping his own shorts to the floor beneath him. He kicks all of the clothes away, knowing the two of you won't be needing them for a very long time.

"I can't wait, baby," he mumbles, excusing his lack of foreplay.

You shake your head, and he already knows you don't mind based on the way you're dripping onto the granite, "Please, Rafe."

He smirks and then grunts as he enters you, breathing out a sigh of relief that you two are finally home.

By the time you and Rafe even make it to your bedroom, he has to carry you because your legs can't physically function anymore. Rafe's proud of his work, but pretended to pout when he finished you off on the couch and you told him you needed a break.

He lays you down on your new, freshly made bed, moving the pillows out of your way and tucking you underneath the duvet. He climbs in beside you and molds you into his body almost instantly, inhaling your shampoo scent and perfume, thinking about how perfect this moment truly is.

"I can't believe it," he whispers.

"I know."

"Our home."

"Yes, it is."

You two lay there for a while, staring out at the tens of boxes that have each of your names written on them, just begging to be unpacked. You're sure Rafe's boxes will still be sitting there in two weeks, as he had packed a separate duffle bag of his 'essential' belongings.

"You know," he starts after a while, a devious smirk finding it's way to his cheeks, "The next big step is having a mini you. Or a mini me. But, I'd rather have a mini you."

"We just moved into our college apartment and you're talking about impregnating me," you laugh, as if to ask him if he's serious.

"She'll be so cute," he goes on, "A little girl that looks just like you. And she'd have your smarts, thank God, because she'd be screwed with mine. But she'd have my humor, of course."

"Of course?" you tease him.

"And then we'll have a boy."

"Wow, Rafe Cameron, you really just have this all figured out," you move your head up to look at him, noting the small, cheesy smile plastered across his face.

"I do, baby. He'll be a hellion, though. Never listening, always running away, but a total momma's boy. Never wants you to leave his side-"

"So, just like his dad, then?" you grin, watching Rafe clench his jaw and shake his head.

"Break's over," he grunts, rolling you on your back and climbing on top of you, "We're trying, now."

"No, we're not," you say forcefully.

Rafe rolls his eyes, "I'm joking. We'll wait until, like, junior year or something."

"Rafe."

"Fine. But the second you walk across that stage with your diploma, I'm putting a baby in you."

"Deal."

Tags:

@hollandsour @flowerkidlxrry @kookkyra @pogueslandia @sarahwasfound @fuzzyhumanpersontrash @rafecameronn @rafeswh0ree @outerbankies @morganwilliams

*if you would like to be added/removed from my taglist at any time, please send me an ask!

[gustingirl]

gvf headcanon | your first time

requests: Hello I was wondering if you could’ve do some head cannons for your first time. If your comfortable with that off course though please

warnings: smut (sam's a bit more descriptive so have this in mind)

josh.

i start with josh because i once wrote something about this, and i'm gonna bring it back. my assumption is he respects you deeply, and will literally never push you. yes, touch is essential for him, and we know in these boys' minds sex lives rent free. but it's you we're talking about, and he probably will wait for you as much as you need. when the moment comes, he will let you decide everything; when to start, when to stop, what you want to do. i'm not exactly talking about your very very first time, but he wants you to have a beautiful memory of your first time with him, and he will allow it by giving you the space and time you need (this way he will also be able to learn about the things you like and don't, and your limits too)

bringing back the scenario i once had, i imagine the night going like this: what having sex implies is getting naked. and that is not easy for anybody, as it wasn't easy for you. you had your own opinions on your body, and the idea of your boyfriend seeing you naked for the first time had you biting your nails with anxiety growing up. the moment had been settled so perfectly you barely even noticed, but the second josh tried taking a piece of clothing off, you pushed him slightly, feeling ashamed all of a sudden. he worried abruptly, afraid of having crossed a line. you reassured him he did nothing wrong, that it was your own thing. then josh had an idea; he would get naked first, so you could feel better about it yourself later. he took off all his clothes within seconds and sat in the bed, waiting for you to do the same thing. you took your own time, taking it piece by piece slowly. josh's eyes were filled with sparkles, as his mouth hung open. he was glancing at every part of your body in awe, as if he was staring at a masterpiece for the very first time. his expressions made you feel better, which hurried the process of getting naked. when you least expected it, josh reached out his hands to grab your body, getting on his knees as he kissed your legs and abdomen.

"god, you're so beautiful" you felt your soul leaving your body as josh's low voice echoed through the room. his hands were gripping your body like he could fall if he let go. you held his head against your body, letting his wet kisses cover your skin "you're a work of art, my love. you're my work of art, mine only" now his eyes were nailed on yours, and the sight of josh kneeling for you, with such an innocent yet hungry look on his eyes that was driving you insane with each second passed.

jake.

he's all about making you remember this night for the rest of your life. if he was lucky, this was not going to be the last time you two had sex. but, he wanted this night to be the top one, the one you would always bring back as a favorite memory. and he's all about making you feel good; forget about him, this night is only about you and making you feel satisfied.

the night started with a lovely but not so sofisticated dinner. something normal, sweet but chill. he had prepared good dishes and had served his best wine, not before decorating the room behind your back. he had invited you over, and had been nothing but pure sweetness, devoted to you and you only. you felt like royalty, letting him do all the work. when the dinner was over, he moved the glasses of wine to the couch so you could continue the conversation. as the mood had been already settled, he let his hand slid to your leg, caressing the skin and gripping every once in a while. his eyes were eating you out, hungry for you. it was evident he was no longer listening to you, and you felt like touching the sky right there. without much more introduction, you let him do his magic; it started with a kiss that soon turned passionate and eventually, clothes were taken off. once only underwear was left, jake requested to continue (and finish) in the bedroom. he kept on praising you, filling your body with love and kisses as he carried you to his bed.

"i'm gonna make you feel so good, baby" you murmured into your ear, making you moan from just those words "i'm gonna mark you up and you will literally never forget this night. i'll make you mine, my sweetheart. i'll make you mine" it felt like a movie, as jake put you down quite roughly, before climbing on top and starting the action.

sam.

why do i feel like, with sam, it wouldn't be as special? like he wouldn't exactly search for a perfect moment nor he would be desperate for it. like, if it happens, awesome. and when? it doesn't matter. where? not important at all. like sam would be ok with doing it whenever you feel like to but wouldn't exactly be waiting for the moment. i even feel like your first time would be out of horniness and adrenaline.

you know what? your first time was in his car. you had spent the entire fucking day just teasing each other with ass squishing, sneaky love bites, stolen kisses and more. you were spending the day with him and his friends, so these little criminal acts were just turning both of you on without being able to do much about it. when the night arrived, sam decided it was time to go home. never once you expected for him to be as horny as you were and, when he parked the car near your place, you couldn't help but climb to his lap, attacking him as punishment for the illegal touching he was doing in front of his friends. the moment came so sudden, you couldn't even process it, as sam was taking your top off and biting all over your chest. neither of you wanted to lose time, and he slid inside of you as fast as possible, driving you to ride him as you too attached your lips to his neck. it was over before you could think about it, as you two were too needy to hold it in more. however, you stayed in that place, with sam still deep inside you, processing what just happened.

"fuck, that was good" he exhaled, grabbing you by the back of your neck to bring you closer to him

"we just fucked" you commented, more to yourself than to him, as you too had been wanting to do it for a while

"wow, babe, thanks, i never noticed" he teased back, winning a soft slap from you, along with a cute laugh.

he laughed as well and kept you as close to him as possible, not wanting to let go and move on from this amazing yet spontaneous moment.

danny.

baby boy over here would be head over heels for you, and would definitely wait for you to make the first move. i feel like same thing as sam, he wouldn't be desperate to fuck. he prioritizes other things like first kiss, good dates, make you feel loved. like sex is definitely not something he's needing but he would be down for it the second you asked. also, and quite important, i feel like he would actually tell you, something like "i'm ready when you're ready".

so it went down like that. you had decided to travel during the weekend, a little getaway with your boyfriend. he knew you needed a break from the world and so, he let you decide where to go. you wanted the beach and the ocean so you found this little house near the shore. it was paradise; waking up to the sound of the ocean, the smell of sea salt and by your beautiful boyfriend. the first day consisted of swimming and sun bathing, but the night was something else. right as you had finished a quick dinner, you began making out, the sun dropping while you two were feeling each other's bodies. when you were needing for more, you let him know right away.

"i need you" you voiced with hunger evident in your tone, making danny pull away from your neck to lock eyes with you

"you sure? there's no hurry" he reassured, his hands still traveling around your body

"no, please, danny, i need you so badly"

that was all he needed to remove your clothes and his in seconds, to later proceed to make love to you in the most tender yet passionate way ever, making this moment the most memorable for you