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#literally i wish people would stop telling me what’s going on but here we are
luckheist · 2 years
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i’m… done.
i try so hard to keep a smile on and to ignore the bullshit. but everyone has their breaking point, right?
name dropping me to deflect from your own shit is fucked up. i haven’t bothered anyone, i’ve been vibing and doing my own thing, and people take it upon themselves to come to me when my name is dragged into shit i have NOTHING TO DO WITH.
i have literally been dealing with work and class. on top of it, i have a mom who is now in heart failure that they’re trying to figure out the cause of (right now they think it’s a valve issue?). please tell me at what point i have time to stir petty shit on tumblr?
i am trying SO HARD to distance myself from drama and bullshit and i’m so fucking tired of my name being dragged into shit for pity points or laughs. it’s not cute, it’s not funny, and i’m genuinely confused as to why it’s continuing when i barely have time to pay attention to my own blog and partners… much less people who i don’t like and don’t like me.
i don’t know what else to do? i have apologized. i have blocked. i have stayed quiet and stayed in my corner. and here we are MONTHS later with my name still being thrown around like i’m doing anything to anyone.
i’m frustrated and i’m tired and i’ll probably delete this when i’m not so angry about things. i’m sorry for even dumping about it… i’m just tired. i had a good night, i beat a game, i chilled with friends for RAW, and then opened my phone to more bullshit that i have nothing to fucking do with.
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medicinemane · 1 month
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Anyway, hope you're all doing well
I just... I haven't slept and also I've got like... 2-4 days of tumblr to catch up on... mostly to make sure I don't lose anything I want to keep requeuing
In many ways I'm probably doing better than I have been in a long time... maybe ever, but... I've got zero focus, I can barely watch youtube videos, I certainly can't play games... I can't get myself to clean... I don't know man
It's like... it's like my mind's empty except for some thick clear goopy sludge... it's like being over at a strange house sat alone in a big room waiting for people to come back... not wanting to touch anything so you just sit there staring and feeling out of sorts, except it's just constant in my own house in my own room... just saw Bart flop down in front of my door and realized I'm so out of it I forgot I had cats
It's like I'm living every moment in the moment, but not in a peaceful way, in a I'm untethered from reality and trying to figure out plans or how to deal with getting everything sorted out is just kinda painful kinda way
Then my mood... well... I kinda have no mood. I'm fucking numb if I'm honest. I have flavor opinions like "I'm worthless and should kill myself", but I actually don't even feel depressed right now, I feel nothing
I don't see much point to my future even if everything goes great, and I would like to kill myself, but I have zero interest in even considering it right now even though I have everything I need around if I just stand up and take a single step
So... much as it probably sounds like I'm just pure in the trash right now, I'm actually in many ways probably doing better than I ever have before... I'm just also real messed up right now at the same time
I don't feel hopeful, I never feel hopeful, but I do feel like I can maybe guide shit into a good position, it's just once again I figure that even if I do everything I want to with being able to help other people out and stuff, I'll still just kinda end up alone in a crowd
You know... funny thing is I'm thinking "the fuck is even the point I wanted to make?", and I realize... my point was actually that I'm doing pretty good and not to worry... not sure how well I'm selling it, but it's true
I hesitate to assign anything to myself, my stance on me and anything I can't conclusively say tends to be no comment... but if I were looking at someone else describing what I'm feeling in my position, I might be inclined to say burnout... months of having to be on and clean and manage everything and... all that... well it's one explanation, who knows if it's correct
Anyway though, I'm good, don't worry, know I do appreciate you all and wish I had more brain power to say more to more people... it's just maybe kinda sad that this is my version of doing good... the fuck is wrong with me if I wake up everyday feeling like I've been beaten with clubs... and for me this is kinda peak... what's that say about my baseline?
Doesn't matter, only thing to do is keep moving forward
Guess insomnia paired with not really being able to think, like words just kinda pop out with no planning... guess it makes me ramble real bad, this was supposed to be like one or two paragraphs being positive
It's a Beautiful World
#mm tag so i can find things later#to be clear; I'm referencing the Devo song; and if you know the song... that's kinda a negative thing to say#it's a beautiful world... for you... it's not for me#that's the sentiment I express when I say that; just to avoid confusion... though... confusion I can't deny is also kinda the point#I like hiding things in plain sight; I like lies of omission#...but also... is it so bad to try and let people think I'm being more positive than I am seeing as people have a problem with how I am?#makes them sad; you know?#I'm not even meaning to be negative; I'm just trying to lay out my thoughts so people don't have to read my mind#I think people will probably read this and take it as extremely negative but... it more just is#my brain feels broken right now... that's not meant as doom and gloom... just a statement of fact#people always seem to worry about me... but... they kinda... worry about the wrong stuff#...they kinda... it's like if someone was really worried cause I skinned my knee and it looked real gross but was pretty surface#and I just couldn't get them to stop focusing on that and listen to the fact I had internal bleeding and that was much worse#it's not the fact I want to kill myself that's the problem; it's not that I can often be melancholic#it's all the systemic issues going on... the isolation; the... never feeling like I succeed... that kinda thing; you know?#the money and the getting things stabilized#even if life goes perfect and I even somehow get the stuff I think is literally impossible for me to get that I want so bad#...good chance I'll still be kind of melancholic#...but would that really be so bad? if I was just a little glum when it came to me?#despite the fact that with everything that's not me I say 'lets just keep moving forward and change what we can'?#despite the fact I tend to have a very upbeat... lets not dwell on the past; lets see how we can fix the now kinda mindset?#despite the fact I think I must seem a bit stupid and bumbling in person cause I always tend to be kinda 'it is what it is'?#just because I think bad thoughts and you hear how I think on here... my actions aren't enough to outweigh that?#clean all that shit; but I dare to not like myself very much... seems like weighing the two I really am just negative or whatever; eh?#and by god always make sure to tell me to get a therapist even though I'm both working on that and also it won't fix me#if therapy fixed me I'd be fixed at like 14; it's systemic shit; like I said... therapist can just help a bit#...what I really need is for more people to turn towards me a bit more... 20% of the time even... nah I don't want to elaborate#I don't want to phrase that the more understandable way; I want everyone to... miss it... I can't stand to be seen and then ignored... agai#wish people would worry a little less about me and help a little more... mostly by just being company#can't a body fall down stairs in peace? you know?
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nikosheba · 1 year
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A couple job interview hacks from someone who has to give a job interview every single goddamn day: (disclaimer: this goes for my process and my company’s process, other companies and industries might be different)
1. There are a few things I check and a few questions I ask literally just to figure out if you can play the game and get along with others in a professional setting. Part of the job I interview for is talking to people, and we work in teams. So if you can’t “play the game” a tiny bit, it’s not going to work. Playing the game includes:
- Why do you want to work here? (just prove that you googled the company, tell me like 1 thing about us, I just want to know that you did SOME kind of preparation for this interview)
- Are you wearing professional clothing? I don’t need a suit just don’t show up in a ratty t-shirt and sweatpants.
- Are you able to speak respectfully and without dropping f-bombs all the time? Not because I’m offended but because I don’t want to be reported to HR if you wind up on my team.
- Can you follow simple directions in an interview?
2. Stop telling me protected information. I don’t want to know about what drugs or medications you’re on, I don’t want to know about you being sick, I don’t want to know if you’re planning to have children soon, I don’t want to know anything about your personal life other than “can you do the job?” 
3. When we ask, “What questions do you have for me?” here are my favorites I’ve heard: - What does the day-to-day look like for a member of your team?
- If one of your team members was not performing up to his usual standard, what steps would you take to correct that?
- What can I start doing now to accelerate my learning process in this job?
- What are some reservations you have about me as a candidate? (be ready for this emotionally....it will REALLY help you in the future, and I’ve had people save themselves from a No after this, but can be hard to hear)
- In your opinion, what skills and qualities does the ideal candidate for this job possess?
- What advice would you give to a new hire in this position/someone who wanted to break into this industry, as someone who has worked here for a while?
Those are just my tips off-the-cuff. I work in sales in marketing/SAAS, so these can be very different depending on the industry, but I wish the people I interview could read this before they show up. 
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thewispsings · 24 days
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cute funny looking child | max verstappen
pairing: max verstappen x actress!reader
summary; the one where yn becomes obsessed with a cute funny looking child she stumbled across on pinterest. only to find out that the “cute funny looking child” is now a full grown formula one driver.
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liked by charles_leclerc, and 715,529 others!
yourusername: i found this cute funny looking child on pinterest, then started crying because he’s just so cute
view comments below!
user1: girl what
user2: there’s medical terms for people like you
user3: no i get it
user4: he's actually so cute
user5: these pictures look old...what if this child is grown now??
user6: imagine scrolling through instagram and you see someone calling you a "cute funny looking child"
user7: this is too funny
user8: am i the only one who knows thats max??
user9: NO I DO TOO!!!
user10: us and charles LMAO
user11: he liked this and said nothing 😭
user12: not his childhood photos, not his problem
user13: how are yn and charles friends but she doesnt know what max looked like as a child?
user14: she knows nothing about f1, she's only friends with charles and thats it 😭
user15: what medical condition do you have?
user16: but…why?
user17: you have issues
user18: i don’t think this reaction is normal…
user19: babe that’s max verstappen??? formula 1 driver??? rich GROWN millionaire???
user20: millionaire you say 😏
user23: i see you didnt take your meds today
yourusername: i’ll have you know that my medication ran out so HA
user24: you might wanna ask for more
user25: yeah because this? not normal!
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liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris, and 716,019 others!
maxverstappen1: recharging, done ✅
view comments below!
charles_lelcerc: what a cute funny looking child
maxverstappen1: ?
charles_leclerc: nothing…
user21: HE KNOWS
user22: it’s even funnier that charles 100% knows about the ‘cute funny looking child’ thing and just chose to not tell yn it’s max 😭
user23: yn will never live this down
user24: this is going to haunt yn for literally ever
user25: i PERSONALLY will never let her forget
user26: such a cute funny looking child
user27: max has got to be so confused rn
user28: is that a cute funny looking child i see???
user29: cute funny looking child max!!!!
user30: why is no one talking about how good max looks??
user31: i am. HE LOOKS GORGEOUS
danielricciadro: 😍😍
user32: you are handfeeding the shippers
user33: please, he IS the shipper
user34: cute funny looking child
user35: I AM SO CONFUSED BY THESE COMMENTS? WHAT IS GOING ON
user36: so basscialy
user37: what happened was
user38: many years ago
user39: it was a dark and gloomy night
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. . .
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. . .
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liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc, and 619,916 others!
yourusername: this f1 thing is fun!
view comments below!
user40: you lucky son of a bitch!
charles_leclerc: can’t believe you went to a race for HIM 🤮 but not me…
yourusername: i didn’t go for HIM! i went because was invited!!!!
charles_leclerc: IVE INVITED YOU SO MANY TIMES AND YOU ALWAYS SAY NO
yourusername: LEAVE ME ALONE
user41: is ‘him’ MAX???
user42: it has to be
user43: YN AND MAX SHIPPERS ARE LIVING
maxverstappen1: you said you would post more baby pictures of me 😕
yourusername: you’re right in front of me? talk to me?
maxverstappen1: i want everyone to know that we’re on a date!
yourusername: we are?
user46: HUH
maxverstappen1: yes? i asked you on a date and you said yes?
user44: GIYS????
yourusername: i thought this was a friend thing…
user45: HWAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING
maxvertappen1: do all your friends buy you flowers when going out to eat?
user46: YOURE RIGHT IN FEONT OF RACHOTHRT??? STOP THIS?
yourusername: no…
maxverstappen1: exactly! now do you want dessert?
user47: i can’t…i’m sick to my stomach…i cannot
user48: what just happened
user49: i wish i knew
user50: okay so that just happened! now what?
. . .
here’s this before i disappear for a couple of weeks (maybe months?) i apologize but schools been keeping me busy AND i have books on wattpad that take up most of my time! im hopeful ill be able to post maybe once a month? nonetheless i hope you enjoyed this :)
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Ateez as Boyfriends [Explicit Ver.]
yet another collab with loren @eightmakesonebraincell. idk what this is but it's smut and it's a filthfest in here sooo MDNI!!
lmao when we think about it now we don't even know how we came to write this (speed write it more like) but this has collected dust in the drafts for a good while anddd it's our first time writing smut like this (minus my woo fic) so here we are :') Enjoy!
Hongjoong
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eye fucks you
literally when he is in the mood he will let his eyes scan you ever so slowly
tease.
i just think that most of the times you’ll be in the studio
and studio sex calls for you in his lap to get his attention
while his attention remains undivided on his pc
until you grind-
one wrong move and you’re done for
if he doesn’t want you to break his focus at that moment, he’s probably gonna growl and bite your shoulder with the promise of what’s about to come
and threaten you with things he would do to you once he is free
however, if you've succeeded?
immediately on to you
lips everywhere and anywhere on your body
tongue in your mouth
i feel like even if he tries to go slow, he’s the type to lose control in the middle of it
and go super intense and heated
loves it when his hands are on your hips and controlling your movement
the type to wedge his thigh between your legs as you make out 
and watch you become a mess as you grind on it
or when you’re sitting on him, he’ll hook your legs over his to stop you from closing them
he’ll finger you until you’re squirming in his lap
punish you for distracting him and being a bad girl
neck kisses he’s gonna leave pretty marks all over you
will praise the f outta you (not me censoring this.) 
will probably move around a lot during sex
like one moment you’re in his lap
next you’re on the couch, he’s on top of you
until you switch
and then he has you standing up and suddenly you’re pinned against the wall
will not miss a chance to go down on you
knows exactly how to make you cry
and i mean cry.
laughs against your throbbing core and the vibrations oh goodness
absolutely loves the feeling of your fingers gripping his hair in desperation
nips you everywhere
and when you’re finally begging him to give you what you want, that’s when he’ll let you have some moment of control
probably curses in pleasure
loves watching you on top of him but makes sure you know who’s in control (him)
he’s gonna spice things up when you’re reaching climax
i think i said he knows how to make you cry so go ahead and imagine
will overstimulate you before he wraps things up hehe
i just feel like his fingers on your clit right before you come and it’s 10x more intense
would love to come inside you when he can ;)
hongjoong would also probably record the audio of your moans during sex and when you climax (with consent ofc)
and on nights when he’s missing you he’ll play it through his headphones and touch himself wishing you were here
takes such good care of you when you’re done like you joke that he’s suddenly worried if you’re okay when he fucked you like there’s no tomorrow-
but really he’s all prepared he’s immediately making sure you have what you need- water, cuddles, round 2, you name it
will kiss your forehead as he assures you you’re his muse, the love of his life and all that sweet stuff :’)
you whine that you feel all sticky and gross
he definitely has an abundance of tissues and wet wipes in his studio
when people ask him why he has so many he tells them it’s for yknow cleaning
if you guys are back home in the shower though?
omg he is so soft and all about the romance
makes you feel so so loved
holds you in his arms for the longest time
or you’re in the middle of doing something and he grabs your wrist
and pulls you towards him with the biggest smile on his face
hands on your hips as he sways you around
and you just know that look in his eyes means he’s in the mood and he’s going to make this a memorable night for both of you
you’ll hook your arms around his neck and sway to the music that is in your heads
guided by his movements
he tells you what he’s feeling. no filters
and you appreciate that so much about him
would definitely have a post-sex playlist that he’s made with like slow candle-lit dinner vibes
plays it with a speaker in the bathroom as he presses long and lazy kisses against you
basically a very love-driven makeout session :((
hehe but he most definitely nibbles all over the marks he’s left on you with a sense of achievement
loves when you wear one of his shirts over just your panties as you go to bed together
it’s the possessiveness in him i’m telling you
he’s quick to fall asleep but you can see a faint smile on his lips as you caress his head or his face
and you tell him all the reasons you love him
you can swear his hold on you tightens even though he is fast asleep
and you’re going to wake up with him looking at you like you’re the most beautiful thing he has ever laid eyes on :(( 
even tho you look like an absolute mess in the morning-
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Seonghwa
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tongue.
man has a mouth on him like have you seen his lips?
the prettiest lips in ateez 
and his tongue????
he is the best kisser in ateez fight me
he knows how deadly his tongue is
and he’s going to use that to his advantage
makeout sessions are gonna be next level with him
and when his tongue goes elsewhere-
like when he kisses your neck?
or anywhere for that matter??
you literally cannot breath
it’s like it’s turning him on too
makes the dirtiest noises you bet 
he loves the feeling of your thighs clenching around him because it means that you’re close
he praises you and tells you that you have the prettiest moans
loves that you’re making those sounds just for him
he’ll enjoy overstimulating you
he coos and tells you to give him one more orgasm baby as he digs his fingers knuckle-deep into you
he knows your body so well
he can tell exactly when you’re about to come
like, he’ll say “come for me” because he knows that’s what tips you over the edge
and then when he’s satisfied with how many times you’ve come for him
that’s when he gets started
when you guys are fucking there are two different moods
sometimes he likes to take it slow and worship your body
pepper kisses all over your face and anywhere he can reach
presses his body against yours like he has to be touching every part of your exposed skin
drags his length in and out of you slowly so he can feel every inch of you
will latch his lips onto yours and explore your mouth with his tongue
likes to hold your hand :’((( i love him so much
other times it’s hot and fast and needy
his hands roam all over your body and through your hair
rolls your nipples between his fingers to make your back arch 
moans into the kisses
bites your lower lip
either lets you run your hands wherever you want or pins them to whatever surface you’re on
you fist the sheets beneath you or grip his shoulders
he grunts and pants in between praises of how tight you are and how good you feel
before he’s coming hard into you
i’m convinced that when hwa comes his eyes roll back and he lets out the deepest moan
it’s so filthy his expression alone can make you reach your climax honestly
his warmth fills you up (pls use a condom irl)
and when he pulls out, the sight of his cum leaking out of you has him half-hardening again
he loves to see how he’s ruined you
and you best bet he’ll help clean you up-
with his mouth
he’ll hold your legs apart as you writhe from sensitivity
as soon as you both come down from your orgasms, it’s like all the dom has left his body
he literally becomes the softest when he’s doing aftercare like his touch is suddenly delicate and he’s holding you like you’re fragile
“sir, i’m pretty sure you’ve left bruises on my body but okay”
“ah, did i? shall i kiss them so they get better?”
and you grin bc you’re lovestruck
and he feels so proud that he made you smile bc that means you’re okay
literally every second sentence that comes out of his mouth will be praise
that you did so well for him
that you’re so beautiful
that you’re all that he could ever ask for
<33333
peppers soft kisses on your face and kisses your knuckles
brings you sth warm to drink and cuddles you all night
i feel like he’s the type to love feeling skin on skin when cuddling
especially after having sex
he just has his boxers on and you just have your panties on
and he loves to hold you close to him and just feel you next to him in such an intimate way :’(((
he can’t keep his hands off you but it’s completely innocent
traces little patterns and shapes on your back
splays his hand over your tummy
rests a hand over your chest bc he likes to feel your heartbeat
and he does it unconsciously too, even during pillow talk
you two can talk for hours about anything and everything deep into the night
it doesn’t even matter what the pillow talk is about all you two want is to hear each other’s voices
imagine hwa’s post-sex husky deep voice akjfldsg
but you two talk and cuddle for so long neither of you even realise when you’ve fallen asleep
in the morning he wakes up before you but he stays cuddling you until you wake up so that he’s the first thing you see <33
there’ll be lots of lazy kisses before he gets up to make you a cute breakfast
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Yunho
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eye fucks you pt 2
literally the way he just watches you at times
like he’s drinking in the sight of you
before he kisses you he’s going to cup your face and look at you for the longest time
and you can see a thousand undecipherable emotions in his eyes
hesitates a bit before he kisses you but once you’re into it he’s a changed man
idk about you but i feel like his tongue can do wonders
i just think he’s a natural at this he kisses you like he’s been doing it forever and will never get tired of it 
makeout turns heated pretty quick and one thing leads to another-
will be vocal during sex too like
he needs to hear you say some stuff before you proceed
he needs to hear your voice to confirm you’re feeling good
he’s pretty much driven on that
he aims to please you. 
his hands. need i say more?
he drives you crazy with his hands alone
even when they’re cupping your face or like holding you behind your neck
you love his hands in your hair
you love it when you feel his big hands anywhere on your body for that matter
especially when they’re gripping your thighs
and his long fingers omg
just a brush of them in the inside of your thigh or near your core and you’re done for
makes you a writhing mess before he will even touch you
will also pin you on nearest surfaces 
and lets his mouth and thighs do the rest
probably loves when you ride his thigh too as he makes out with you
to the point you almost come on that alone
he just loves when you want to be in control but he restrains you
and you gladly let him
will at times let you dom him
but he just thinks that you’re cute for trying
really, he’s watching all smug, watching you on top of him, waiting until he’s had enough
and then he’s flipped you
he’s pinned you to the bed and he dwarfs you grrr 
“now it’s my turn”
if you think cuddling while lovemaking is a soft trait? make it hard for yunho
like he’s just burying his nose in the crook of your neck while he pumps into you
spoons you from behind as he rubs his length against your ass
or kissing your temple or head and moaning against you
and oh goodness his weight on you when he’s on top of you i-
will mumble praise into your ear
“you’re so fucking wet baby” hdsjhjkdfhg
“you feel so good”
and you’ll def praise him in return he loves that
not afraid to experiment with you
and he’s always just so supportive of your wants and needs
he’s also fully capable of driving you insane like he can be a little shit sometimes-
his hand around your throat.
his hand being able to wrap around both of your wrists
loves to pin your wrists above your head
when he’s approaching his orgasm he’ll see what you need
probably loves it when you come together
and he’ll pump all that inside you he won’t stop
will remain inside for a good few moments until he pulls out
and then it's just another round of teasing each other as he takes care of you
“can we shower together now?” but you know it will lead to shower sex
“will you let me spoon you after i clean you up?”
“only if i don’t find your dick hardening against my ass in the middle of the night, yunho”
the teasing is just ramped up honestly
you two flick soap suds at each other
he smacks your ass and it startles you and you slip a little in the shower
he makes sure to catch you but you smack his chest as revenge even though you two are giggling
when you step out of the shower he’ll throw your towel over your head so it covers your face
the man runs out of the bathroom before you can throw the towel back at him
he’s just streaking through the house naked at this point
it takes a while for you two to calm down enough to actually get into bed
but there’s definitely another hour or two of very handsy teasing
mostly from him as you giggle at his antics
and lots of hypothetical discussions about things you guys could try out next time
but also not hypothetically because he would totally be down lol
he’ll be like “okay but what if we restrained your wrists to the shower curtain bar, do you think it’d break?”
and you say you can try next time but if it does break he’s paying not you
you’re just both a laughing mess in each other’s arms as you fall asleep
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Yeosang
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vanilla guy
he can move his tongue 180 degrees do you all know what use he can make of that?
he’s either super shy super shy~ or he’s gonna be the demon that we all know he is
his kisses range from shy to heated and rushed
like when he’s shy he’s all smiles and cautious touches 
but you can literally taste it when he’s desperate
because his body language changes significantly
suddenly he’s the most confident
kinda feel like lingerie really turns him on
like whenever you wear something lacy or revealing
his length is already hardening before he knows it
sometimes he tries to hide it
other times he comes right up to you and growls into your ear that he needs you right now
his favourite place to do it might be in the bed
he just wants to make sure you’re comfortable first and foremost
and i feel like he’s a switch
he has his dom days he has his sub days too
sometimes he just needs you to lead and he loves watching you when you take the lead
he lets you do whatever you want to him
like he’ll watch as you unbutton your shirt and slip off your bra
and when you lean down to take off his pants
he’ll let you kiss him and touch him however you like
but when you start teasing him?
i feel like he has a switch that goes off and bam he’s now in dom mode
and he’s suddenly flipped positions and he’s like “i’ve had enough sweetheart”
and he’s banging into you with no remorse
and you swear his beautiful deep voice does something to you makes you feral is what it does
tucks your hair out of the way as he pumps his length into you
holds your face :( he’s so precious grrrrr
swipes his thumb across your lower lip
daring you to try something like-
he’s a tease he knows what game you’re playing
and if you try to capture his thumb between your teeth he’s gonna be like ‘nuh-uh not so quick’
like he can be the sub and still be in charge how beautiful is that
bonus points if you make him laugh or make him shy during sex
you love to see it when you praise him and he gets all flustered
but boi does he know how to make you lose your shit too
esp when he’s in control and just running his hands all over your body
tracing all your curves as he drinks in the sight and praises you so. much.
as if he isn’t a walking sculpture himself :’)
loves watching your little reaction and catches on real quick
like if you writhe under him when he kisses your sweet spot? he’s gonna be all smug and you bet the night has gotten longer
because he will spend his sweet time there
and when he’s fingering you or eating you out he will do everything to get the best reactions out of you
aftercare is 90 percent him fussing over you 
even though you reassure him that you’re okay from under the mountain of blankets he’s piled over you
he literally treats you like a queen
also because he wants to give you everything that you might even potentially need
so he like
brings you a whole platter of warm tea, water, energy drinks, salty snacks, packets of lollies, chocolates, you name it
will also ask if you need painkillers or anything
you better give that man his aftercare too he deserves it
you slip him bits of chocolate or snacks 
sometimes after he’s had one of those days where he’s radiated dom energy or he’s teased you a lot
you bring it up with him and wiggle your eyebrows
like “so i’m your good girl, huh”
and he gets so flustered and shy and does his little giggle
but you never tease him too much, because you know that he can start to doubt himself or feel insecure
so you always make sure to tell him how good and perfect he is no matter what he does
he deserves all the love in the world <3
so after you let him fuss over you for a while you sort of just, fling up the side of your blanket and say
“get in here”
and he has such a cute bright smile as he burrows underneath the covers with you
sometimes he spoons you
but more often than not
you spoon him
and he feels so safe and loved whenever you hug him like that :’(
you love to run your fingers through his long locks because his hair feels super soft
but also because you can almost hear the purr that comes out of yeosang when you do it
he’s a precious baby :(
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San
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a switch nobody can convince us otherwise
he can be a hard dom
manhandles you, like have you seen the way he is with woo??
holds your jaw to make you look at him
or he gets up close and crowds your personal space
passes you the dirtiest looks
will stare at you for the longest time just to see what your reaction will be
loves it when you get flustered and shy 
doesn’t care if you’re in public his touches will look casual to others
but you’ve memorised what his hand placement means
like when his hand on your waist slowly lowers to your hip, you know it’s gonna be a long night
teases you during sex, like he’ll lightly drag his fingers around your upper thighs and on your lower stomach but never touching your core
and he’ll ask you what do you want
he wants you to be vocal and beg for him to touch you
and when you do he’ll rip away your clothes and go down on you like he’s starved
he unbuttons your clothes and unclasps your bra with one hand and that alone makes you so wet
fondles your breasts with one hand while he circles your clit with the other
he latches his mouth onto your neck and collarbones and sucks on your nipples
has your back arching from all the different sensations all at once
but he’s also the subbiest sub to exist
like can you imagine him whimpering underneath you
this time he’s the one begging
he begs to touch you
and he begs for you to touch him, kiss him, anything
he doesn’t care if there are people in the next room or if they can hear him
he just needs to be inside of you
man always does it like it’s his first time taking you 
like you’re blown by how much he can enjoy this every time it just gives you that confidence boost too
and he’s big on praise as well
loves being loud during sex 
makes the unholiest noises-
makes the most intense eye contact and if you dare shy away from him?
“look at me when i’m looking at you”
jksdhgjghjghksgh
^that’s your reaction btw 
his kisses become more messy as things escalate and he just
he wishes he could kiss you everywhere all at once
switches positions so many times but mostly because he needs to feel closer to you in every aspect
might have a thing for putting your legs over his shoulders as he pumps into you
will make you scream without a doubt
like his aim is to make you see stars and boi do you get lost
so you also love to return the favour
and he’s not all that hard to please all you have to do is push the right buttons and say the right things
but you prolong the process on purpose
because you too enjoy seeing him break under you
it’s just that he makes you feel so good about yourself 
he makes you feel like you’re everything he’s ever wanted and then some
will make you come on his fingers
and then lick them clean-
will make you come on his dick next
and break right after he can’t handle you becoming a mess on him
collapses next to you and laughs in disbelief because how good was that?
takes a few moments to gather himself, all the while caressing your skin 
and kissing you- the softest kisses
before he gets up and takes care of you
and he’s so so good at that
he’s cleaning you up, making sure you’re hydrated, helping you into bed and then the cuddlefest starts
lies against the pillows and then shifts you so that you’re basically half-lying on top of him
he loves when you rest your head on his chest, an arm and a leg slung over the top of him too
(half the reason he works out his shoulders and chest is so that you have more pillow surface area hehe)
in these moments he wishes he has three hands
one to hold you against him
one to caress and run through your hair
and one more to hold your hand with :(
he just has to settle for alternating between the three
and all the while he is just constantly. pressing. kisses. against the crown of your head
“i love you”
“i love you too, san”
and not even twenty seconds later
“i love you so much”
“i love you so much too, san”
repeatedly confesses his love to you because it’s true he loves you so much it’s crazy
and when he can hear the sleep starting to cling to your voice, he’ll wish you goodnight
with many more kisses to go along with it <33
he doesn’t let go of you once during the night
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Mingi
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have you seen his hip rolls-
okay from the start
9/10 times it starts with you cuddling
it’s all good and nice and fluffy and you’re watching something or just scrolling 
he just likes to be in physical contact with you in any way
one of you is mindlessly touching the other- very casual at first
casual kiss on your bare shoulder or you kissing his jaw or knuckles
until one of you is in the mood and starts touching the other with purpose
and wait until the other starts squirming visibly
if you’re in his lap? you’re gonna feel it before he can even tell you
and you turn around all smug
but he doesn’t give you time to react because he will kiss you
he’s also prob really big on makeouts
he just loves the feel of his lips on yours as if they’re made for each other
or his tongue inside your mouth and the way you move under him while he kisses you
will have a good proper makeout session before you proceed
his hands will literally travel everywhere
plays with your breasts as he kisses you
also he will kiss every inch of you
and when he goes down on you?
he knows his nose brushing against your clit is your undoing
and he takes advantage of it
the tip of his nose glistening undoes something in you-
will basically make out with your clit
and make you come multiple times on his fingers and tongue before he gives you what you want
those hands squeezing your hips along with that really don’t help-
eats you out like a man starved
but before that
he’s also the type to get his own fair share of oral
and you would love to please him as well
you want that
you love it when he rolls his hips, clutching your hair, whether his cock is in your mouth or inside you
and when you’re having sex even tho he gives dom energy, he likes you on top
he’s just gonna be holding your hips and making you bounce on him
he’s gonna slow it down, make it bouncy ;) 
your hands on his chest
he’s gonna watch you with those eyes
and groan a lot it fuels you
it drives him crazy when you snake a hand down to your front to circle your own clit
and when you climax and collapse against his chest, he’ll hold you steady against his chest and grip your ass
will plant his feet against the bed so that he can pump up into you
i feel like he can be pretty filthy in the best way
like he likes it messy
he wants to make you a mess in every sense
he will spill inside you all over you and be proud of it and look at the mess like it’s a work of art
and the air smells of sweat, sex and love <3
will probably prompt another round-
if he lets you have your way first, he’s def going to have his way in the second round
and that could entail a lot of things
but at some point, it’s definitely gonna be him pinning your wrists down on the bed with one hand
while his own thighs holds your open
and he makes you see stars with his fingers alone
and at some point
it’s going to be him pounding relentlessly into you, a hand on your back pinning you down to the bed
and the second round is always so much more intense
you think you’re spent? he knows exactly how to get you riled up again
but he knows when you’re tired and done even when you say you want more
so he just turns very soft all of a sudden and kisses you like a boy having his first kiss
because he’s so in love with you :(( 
and then he’s gonna tell you what you mean to him
he’s gonna make you look at him as he tells you how beautiful you are and how you mean the whole world to him
sometimes he sees doubt in your eyes but he won’t go away until he clears it
and then you’re both giggling and he’s looking around wondering what to do
“the towels first, please,” you giggle again and he hops off the bed, laughing to himself
probably drags you in the shower with him too and teases you a lot there
so much that sometimes you have another round there-
always so fun with him innit
but he makes sure you’re fed, hydrated, clean and content before he joins you in bed and the cuddlefest starts
human pillow i said what i said
and he’ll caress your hair or skin as he tells you about something that happened at work or you rant about something that annoyed you today
and he jokes and teases you and you slap his chest and he’s suddenly a laughing mess and you’re joining 
and then at some point, you both fall asleep in each other’s arms <3
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Wooyoung
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omega vibes.
a bratty sub
and wooyoung literally ousts himself as having a degrading kink
not his heart fluttering when hongjoong bossed him around
he likes to tease you and frustrate you all day
a quick smirk here
a sneaky touch there 
feel like wooyoung would also make you wear vibrating panties or put a remote-controlled vibrator in you
will turn the vibration up at the worst times
like when you’re talking to someone or when it’s super quiet
he’ll give you the cheekiest grin from across the room
especially when a noise accidentally slips out of you
he loves watching you awkwardly fumble and pretend you didn’t just moan
sometimes in the bedroom when he’s pressing the vibrator against your clit, he’ll pull away at the last second just before you reach your orgasm
and he’ll be like oops sorry :))
until the sexual tension makes you snap
he lets you flip him over or pin him against the wall as you kiss his lips swollen and mark his neck until it’s bruised
and you can feel how smug he is
he loves when you show him his place
and when you mark him with hickeys
you’ll push him onto the bed
and sometimes you tie his wrists together
he’s such a brat you can’t help but try and tame him even when you know it’s hopeless
so you just give up midway and he’s all smug and laughing and you’re like okay have your way then
it’s just very fun with him never a boring moment
and feels like a game of who has more control (you’ve got equal points)(you’re both in negative)
you bet he keeps a record of that
also he gets turned on at the strangest of times
you’re cleaning and he saw you bend down to get that dust? he’s turned on
you almost tripped and made the cutest face afterwards and he teases you but you glare at him? he’s turned on
but the same goes for you
all he has to do is roll his sleeves and display his delicious veiny arms while he cooks
and you’re a whining mess
he knows it
we all love wooyoung in the kitchen
speaking of the kitchen-
no one would eat the food he makes if they knew how many times he’s fucked you on the countertop lol
but he fucks you on every surface he can so-
he loves going down on you mostly because of the noises you make when he’s eating you out
and he knows exactly what move of his tongue or lips against your core earns what noise
he knows you have a thing for his nose digging into your clit too 
so he’s gonna make the most of it ;) 
will let your thighs squeeze him as he makes out with your clit
but when he pushes them apart? the veins on his arms pop and you can’t help but run your fingers all over them 
his arms are just such a work of art
and then he’s trailing kisses up your body and kissing you as if he’s short on breath
also has a thing for fisting your hair when you go down on him 
and oh goodness does he make the most pretty sounds you’ve ever heard
basically the two of you live to rile the other up no matter what way it is <3
when he’s finally inside you, he’s either taking full control or just letting you do whatever you want there’s no in-between
mostly it’s the latter because he loves to see you ride him
but just because you’re on top of him doesn’t mean you’ve got full control. he makes sure you know that
because he is going to pound into you from under you and make you see stars <3
aftercare is something ingrained in him
it’s like he gets all his energy back just to take care of you :(( 
he’s fussing over you, not letting you move before he cleans you up and makes you drink or eat something
he has to give the green light for you and at this point, you let him
because who wouldn’t enjoy a fussy woo??
and then he’s like “let’s shower together ;) “ and you’re like
“ah. is that what all of this was for?”
not complaining though
but the best part about showering together isn’t another round- that’s rare
you simply love it when you’re washing each other up
he loves when you shampoo his hair and massage his scalp
and he rubs the knots out of your neck or arms or thighs
wherever you might be feeling sore from your escapades lol
there’s still a couple of teasing remarks and wandering hands here and there
but he makes sure you’re all warm and dry before he tucks you into bed or wraps you in a huge fluffy blanket on the couch
he’ll insist that you do nothing while he cooks up a small meal for you two because if you two hadn’t become distracted during the process of making dinner, then you two are hungry from the energy you’ve expended LOL
and when he’s made sure you’re absolutely full he’ll cuddle you until you both succumb to food coma
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Jongho
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we all know he’s not physically affectionate
but boi does it look like he’s been doing this all his life
big on foreplay
gets you all hot and bothered first with the way his fingers run over your arms or your thighs
gentle squeezes in between or like something muttered in your ear
until you can’t take it anymore and you make the first move
slow kisses are his things like he loves the intimacy when you’re just making out like you have all the time in the world
and he’s shy at first def, will laugh and joke between kisses just so he can get super comfortable
before he turns into a monster
peppers kisses all over your face :( 
has a knack for making you feel like you’re the most precious thing in this world
to him you are <3
has a thing for necks
will kiss your neck and your sweet spot until it turns red
probably nibble on it too he’d love to see you marked by him
will trail kisses all the way down
will play with your breasts for the longest time as well
just teasing you and making a mess out of you
before he lets his fingers touch you down there and find you already soaked
and god does it give him an ego boost
anddd that’s where things get interesting
watches your every move when he touches you down there 
and has a shit-eating grin on his face throughout 
(which you love you’re not even gonna complain)
he’s gonna make you come multiple times on his fingers that’s a given
he loves to watch you move under him and will probably have a hand on your stomach to brace you and refrain your movements
which drives you so fucking crazy
you’re going to beg for him before he ever lets his cock near you
and when he’s ready for that, he’ll make it so agonisingly slow
will 100 percent grip your thighs as he spreads them apart and just let you feel him against you
before he enters you
he takes a moment to relish in the feeling of your tight walls against him- he can never get enough of that
will pump slowly into you first before it becomes rushed and then-
uses his strength to manhandle you into the position that he wants
he’ll hook his arms under your knees and pound you against the wall pls i need holy water stat
in your bedroom, in your living room, in the shower
omg when he gets all sweaty
and his muscles are glistening as they ripple with his movements lol
dom.
growls in your ears
smacks your ass 100 percent. 
it drives him crazy to feel you trembling against him
or the way your nails dig into his shoulders and drag down his back as he fucks you
he thrives on the sounds you make to the point you’d almost think he’s getting off on that alone
if you come before him, he won’t stop pounding into you until he does
and boi does he still have some stamina left
but you have all the time in the world so he’ll take it slow again
build it up
make you want him again before he touches you
and it just keeps getting more heated, more interesting as the night gets darker
will make sure you’re not overwhelmed though, he really doesn’t want you to feel weird at any point of it all
he wants what you want, to the point you sometimes have to beg him to tell him what he wants
because he’s always focused on pleasuring you and you want to return the favour too
so on the rare occasions that he does let you take the reins, you make it a night he won’t forget ;)
by the time you’re done you’re so tired but this man still has some stamina
so he takes you to the shower with him and washes you up :( <3
dries your hair for you too :( 
you’re so sleepy by now but he’ll carry you to bed :(
and then you cuddle and make jokes until you fall asleep feeling the most content ever
and even though jongho is starting to feel tired too, he fights to stay awake just so that he can cherish the feeling of you in his arms for just a little longer
presses soft little kisses on your forehead and down the tip of your nose and over your cheeks and along your jaw
he’s so soft please
when he really can’t hold off sleep any longer he’ll tuck you closer under his chin before he drifts off too with a smile on his face
has the audacity to giggle at you with his gummy smile when he sees you hobbling the next day because you’re kinda sore
but he’ll be at your beck and call for anything you need the rest of the day <3
8K notes · View notes
bumblebeesfromvenus · 7 months
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Here are some German specific quirks I think König would have <3
─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ────── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───
(yes, I know he's Austrian, but the difference is really only that they talk funny and have better desserts)
♡ he HATES fans and air conditioning. Like I'm talking disdain from the deepest pits of hell kinda hate.
Ceiling fans and AC are not a thing here, and literally every German looks at it with a very disapproving look if there happens to be one somewhere.
König absolutely refuses to sleep with the fan or AC on, just open a window, Liebling!
He's so upset that he can't put the window "auf kipp" :( (pls Google it, it's so hard to explain lol) like he's crushed that he can't keep the windows "auf kipp" all day.
You have a ceiling fan? Nope, not anymore. That thing is getting taken down the minute you move in together. But if you insist on keeping it, he'll secretly cut the cable to the switch.
Everyone knows all they do is whirl around dust and make you sick! He's not having it.
König acts like artificial ventilation is his worst enemy (I agree with him) and he'd rather suffocate than turn on the goddamn AC.
♡ Sundays are strictly lazy/rest days. Nothing's open on Sundays here, so we're forced to relax and not run around like headless chickens trying to get things done.
He's absolutely baffled if you have plans to go somewhere on a Sunday. What do you mean you need to run errands? What do you mean you're going out? And if you want him to come along?? Yeah, no.
His brain stops working. After the many years he's been alive, not once has he gone somewhere on a Sunday that wasn't his Oma's house for Kaffee und Kuchen.
You're not going anywhere. Plans are canceled, and you better spend the day on the couch with him.
♡ König probably misses all the beautiful old architecture Vienna has to offer. You don't quite appreciate it as much when it's just there all the time, but now he wishes he could quietly people watch in the city center :(
In my mind he's a bit of a history nerd, so he probably frequented museums and castles, admiring the delicately sculpted ceilings and wondering how people lived back then.
He'd be most fascinated by the masonry work done on the outside of most buildings. I mean, that's stone, but it's so smooth and carefully crafted.
♡ there are some very weird sayings in German that you just can't translate because they don't make sense. König is sick of having to awkwardly try to explain what they mean after he's been caught muttering one under his breath, only to realize halfway through that he looks like a maniac.
German is a very literal language, and I think he misses speaking it. We have very specific words for some things and he probably struggles to talk in English sometimes purely because the words he wants to use just don't exist.
(I'm very upset they didn't give him an Austrian accent bc it's one of my favorites, but I can also confidently say that I think he wouldn't be taken seriously at all if he had one lmao)
♡ König goes on random ass walks sometimes. Where's he going? On a walk. No, like where is he going? HE'S GOING ON A WALK.
There's no destination, you just walk. No matter the weather. Ya walk until you feel like you've walked enough. (A very German experience and I hate it)
♡ dreams of his Oma's Kaiserschmarn (me too, König, me too.)
It's basically a giant pancake that you tear into little pieces (traditionally, it has raisins too, I think) and you eat with either cinnamon sugar or applesauce (or both) and you will drift up to heaven.
It's warm, it's fluffy, it's sweet;
It's perfect for a gloomy Friday afternoon spent with his Oma and Opa 🥺
(Can you tell that I'm projecting)
─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ────── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───
"Auf kipp" is a very specific window position where only the bottom two hinges stay attached so you can tilt the window towards you and a little crack is open so you can always have fresh air!
"Oma und Opa" grandma and grandpa, which he loves so much, undoubtedly.
"Kaffe und Kuchen" basically tea time. You get together and eat cake and have coffee! Mostly on the weekends :)
"Kaiserschmarn" what dreams are made of.
🩷
2K notes · View notes
strawberrymochin · 2 months
Text
A Letter.....Long Lost!
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kyojuro rengoku x fem!reader
word count- 12.2k
synopsis- the discovery of an old letter from kyojuro rengoku's room shakes the world of tanjiro. he thought he fulfilled every wish of rengoku. however he missed one. tanjiro needs to deliver it to the one it was written for; but the letter has nothing written except a name 'y/n'. who is y/n and how will tanjiro find her?
genre/warnings- post war timeline/ mentions of death/ slice of life/ angst/ fluff/ lots of flashbacks/ kamaboko trio going on a quest to find reader/ emotionally unavailable parents/ just read it i swear it wont disappoint/ comfort/ scenes of rengoku and mitsuri training/ mentions of mugen train
a/n- i had this idea in my head and i literally wrote this in two days. Loosely based off a film I'm obsessed with...this is my first time writing a long fic. im hella nervous. it will have a sequel with a reincarnation au and smut. not fully proof read, ignore small errors.
Nezuko chimed in as urokodaki made his appearance. Soon more people will join in. Kanao and aoi are helping in the kitchen, making several dishes while inosuke is trying to get aoi give him some to taste.
Tanjiro and zenitsu are spreading out the mats for people to sit and get comfy.
“urokodaki sensei! Please come and join.” tanjiro said noticing his former teacher, carrying a huge basket wrapped in a cloth with water patterns similar to his haori. Nezuko trails behind him bringing another basket.
“i brought some mitarashi dango and some hanami-zake for everyone.” said urokodaki with a soft voice, that made nezuko wonder if he was smiling under his tengu mask.
It's been 2 years since the war ended. People lost their dear ones with a pain bearing smile. Some endured injuries that would sustain through out their life marking them as ‘crippled’; while some sacrificed themselves for the greater good.
Seasons changed since then.
So did several people.
People who turned their hearts into stone, heavy from guilt of their family dying; who suffered from the culpability of being protected…
“giyuu san’s here too, please sit inside with the others while we get the stuff ready.”
“yeah how's your sister? I brought her some new kimonos”
A mild smile forming on his lips.
Tanjiro’s eyes widened a bit. It's kinda still new to him seeing such a soft side of the guy who barely used to smile.
……have let their guard down, allowing themselves to move on, now that there's no more threat hanging in the air.
People who had been afflicted by the remorseful long sleepless nights of trauma; killing the one who once bore them in her womb; whose eyes had become dull and frantic, dying inside in agony…..
“oi tomioka! Move outta my way!” grumbled sanemi, throwing a box wrapped in a delicate green cloth in tanjiro's direction as he catches it with difficulty. Having a hand crippled like an old man is sure a poor thing, not that tanjiro minds that.
“ahh the scary guy's here again! Don't touch the box tanjiro. It must've been poisoned!!!” shouted zenitsu, panicking around, hiding himself behind tanjiro.
“What did you just say?” Sanemi’s eyes narrowed at zenitsu, veins becoming more prominent, ready to throw a first at the blonde head's face.
“Goddamn shinazugawa! Don't scare the kid…” said giyu, grabbing his wrist and pulling him inside. “Wh-you’re such a creep tomioka!”
“Kk.”
“Stop giving me that kanroji face!” sanemi said as shivers ran down his spine. Somehow a smiling tomioka was scarier than muzan to him.
…have let go of their distraught, accepting the dreams which they wanted for their loved ones. Fulfilling it in their place.
“Both of them are creeps!” Zenitsu said digging his nails into tanjiro's skin as he spit curses on them. “Zenitsu they are gone now, can you please give this box to kanao san, it smells of fresh ohagi.”
“I'm telling you…it's fuckin poisoned”
“It's not, zenitsu…don't be like that” tanjiro pushed him away with the box. He then took up a broom and started sweeping any other leaves that fell down from the trees.
Pink flowers blossomed everywhere, now that another peaceful season had arrived.
Kanao had suggested nezuko and aoi that they should spend time together this hanami festival. Nezuko and aoi agreed to that instantly. Thus this is how they ended up inviting everyone at tanjiro's, whose house was surrounded by a lots of cherry blossoms.
Kiyo chan naho chan and sumi chan were playing with tengen’s baby as Suma kept pestering urokodaki san for loosening his face mask (I can't blame my lil curious mommy). Makio was sure annoyed at her behavior while hinatsuru just chuckled. Murata sat stiff in the presence of four former hashiras.
Almost all of them had arrived. Except the rengokus.
Aoi brought them some appetizers, as they kept on chatting. After decorating the food all of them would join outside admiring the moment of bliss.
“Senjuro Kun and shinjuro san ain't here yet right?” Asked tengen.
“They haven't made their arrival yet” announced aoi, “however tanjiro san is waiting outside for them, the food is almost done, we can start after they get here”
“HAHAHAHA…. RUSHING IN LIKE A BOAR!!!” inosuke dashed in with a sakura onigiri in his mouth, from the kitchen. “WAhahhh scar guy!! Fight me!” As expected from inosuke, nothing could ever stop him. At first he was a bit spooked seeing a lot of people at once and sticked to aoi till his normal composure returned.
“Still that dumb boar head! Will he ever get mature?” Sanemi grumbled lazily. “I agree” said giyu, smiling at sanemi, which almost made his stomach churn. Tengen bursted out in laughter, “I see you are still in spirit huh? Quite flamboyant of you.”
“YEAH THE GOD OF MOUNTAINS INOSUKE SAMA IS ALWAY—” Aoi smacked him on his head and dragged him away while muttering some apologies to the hashiras.
“He's still much of energy…and his voice has become much hoarse ain't it? I still remember taking those kids on that mission. And this kid in particular was such a ruckus.” Said tengen, stretching his arms.
“Isn't it good to see all of us after so long without having to fear losing someone?” Said hinatsuru, makio and Suma smiled at each other.
“But we had already lost many people.” Sanemi sighed. He wished he could apologize to genya. If life ever gives him another chance he would like to be a little less aggressive.
“If you keep sulking like that, your brother will definitely curse you from heaven.” giyu took a gulp of the matcha tea, sanemi sent at tanjiro's a month ago.
“Now that there are no demons, you two get along with each other quite well don't you think so?” Tengen threw the snarky question at them.
“what the—”
“I wish rengoku could have seen you guys like this…remember the one time himejima san told us that oyakata sama wanted to see giyu smile….”
“See me smile?”
“Yeah, what a waste of time i swear.”
“Rengoku disappeared for a while to buy glasses in order to make giyu smile.” laughed tengen.
“It didn't work though and then kochou emotionally blackmail me to make him laugh.”
“Oh so this is why you wanted to have sake daikon with me?” Giyu smiled again at sanemi.
“I swear if you make that kanroji face again at me, I will kick you on your balls.”
“Everyone food’s ready, let's go and sit outside!!” Said nezuko halting the heated nostalgic conversation of the two.
Murata finally lets himself relax a bit as the hashiras start moving out. Urokodaki slammed a hand at his back, as he felt his stiff posture return. “Don't be so stiff we aren't gonna ask you to duel.” murata’s cheeks reddened in embarrassment as urokodaki laughed off at the kid's nervousness.
These days are indeed peaceful.
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Senjuro made his appearance a bit late. He apologized for his fathers absence, blaming on his health. It's not been that best for a few days.
“Oh goodness, is he really going to be fine, we can go run a check up on him you know?” Kanao offered an idea, worried about the shinjuro’s health.
“Thanks a lot. Actually there's something that has been troubling us for a while.”
“Is everything okay?” Tanjiro's asked with concern lacing his eyes. Sanemi noticed, he had always been kind. He was kind to his brother. During hashira training when tanjiro stepped over the line, it actually made sanemi kinda happy and relaxed. Atleast genya had someone in life he could rely on.
Shinjuro's put down his bowl and chopstick on the mats as he brought his hand to his knees.
“There's something we found a month ago….while cleaning aniki’s room.”
Not only tanjiro but tengen, giyu, sanemi, zenitsu and inosuke froze for a second. The untimely death of the young guy was such a sad event that has ached their hearts for a long time.
Tanjiro could smell senjuro’s emotions and it was odd. It wasn't sadness, or guilt, or anger. It was pity. And somehow it stinged tanjiro, the same way it did years ago.
Senjuro took out some bunch of old papers from the sleeves of his yukata.
Tanjiro's throat felt dry and uneasy. It were a bunch of letters.
All of them looked like they were forgotten for months. The letter envelopes had stained yellow and some even have their edges teared off. But it sure emitted a strong smell. The smell of kyojuro rengoku. Tanjiro's still remembers the distinct hints of his aura. And it somehow still lingered around these letters. Especially the one which was sealed.
“What is it?” asked aoi, finally breaking the deafening silence. A strong gust of wind blew the pink petals along with the letters from senjuro's hand. It's scattered around the mats as all of them tried to collect them.
“Y….y/n?” read nezuko aloud. She hold the sealed letter in her hand as tanjiro extended his palm to grab it. It had tear stains. One side of it had brush marks written ‘to y/n’. The ink has now blurred a bit. But it was still readable.
“What's the meaning of all this?” Tengen asked, grabbing one of the opened letters in his hand. Giyu had hold of one reading in pure shock, while sanemi pondered from the side. Eyes as shocked as giyu’s.
“What happened tengen-sama?” asked makio, seeing all of their disturbed expressions. Zenitsu tried to snatch away the papers from inosuke who was trying to eat it.
“We found these letters from aniki’s room. A lady named y/n had sent those letters to him. An—?”
“And that lady was his lover?” asked giyu.
“What nonsense!”
“He never mentioned any of that to me.” frowned tengen.
“Nor did aniki said anything about it at home. At that time our father didn't pay us any attention. He was drowned totally in despair from the death of our mother. Seeing us only infuriated his anger and sorrow. Aniki would train or be at missions and he was rarely at home. He never told me anything about that….”
‘A letter?’ thought tanjiro. He started sweating all of a sudden. He thought he fulfilled all his wishes but—
“Rengoku san! Please think about yourself, can you stop the bleeding with your breathing technique?” Tanjiro has muttered those words back then, panickingly, devastatingly.
He wanted rengoku to say yes. He wanted him to live beside him, fight beside him, eat beside him. But he didn't get that as an answer.
“No, very soon i'll be dead. Before that happens, i need you to hear me out. I have a younger brother named senjuro. Please tell him to follow his heart. And walk down the path he feels is right.” Rengoku’s face had the same content smile, which warmed their hearts up. He continued, “And tell my father to look after himself…and lastly…”
Rengoku went on and expressed his views on nezuko. It felt like a warm hug. Someone has accepted nezuko. Not because they pitied her but since they saw her true potential and that she was no harm to humans. And now when he remembers it clearly, there was something rengoku whispered before his heart stopped pumping.
It was a faint whisper. So subtle that tanjiro thought it was his ears ringing. But now that he recalls, after he said he trusted them as a slayers, he whispered a few words
“and the lette—”
Rengoku stopped mid sentence as tanjiro kept weeping. He wasn't looking at tanjiro but something behind him. It made him smile as he took his last breath.
“Oni-chan? What happened? Are you okay?” Nezuko pulled tanjiro out of his daze. Everyone was looking at him worriedly. Even sanemi was worried.
“I've not fulfilled rengoku san’s last wishes. I- i haven't. I haven't delivered…how can I be so dumb!!”
“What? Tanjiro san! Calm down! You told us everything aniki wanted to say to us.” Senjuro tried to comfort tanjiro.
“No…before dying he whispered something. I thought my ears were ringing but he did whispered something. It was about a letter.” tanjiro kept on babbling as everyone felt dead silent even senjuro couldn't move his hands.
The sealed letter stayed in tanjiro's hands.
Something that belonged to the girl named y/n.
Something probably dear to kyojuro rengoku.
Some words which were waiting since 3 years.
But…..who is y/n?
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The rest of hanami festival gathering went by silent. Senjuro entrusted the letter to tanjiro as per as his request before leaving early since he need to be home before sunset to check upon his father. Murata and urokodaki san accompanied him on the way.
“That's completely ridiculous. None of us have any idea who the fuck this y/n is? how are the fuck are you even planning to find her?” Sanemi spit out bitter words at tanjiro, sitting on the porch, watching the sun slowly turn a deep shade of orange. It reminded him of rengoku’s odd hair colour. It's funny how not only he, but his tsugoku also had weird hair colour— a colour which was dear to Iguro obanai.
Tanjiro lowered his head, smiling a bit. Sanemi changed a lot, even if he speaks harshly, he can only smell pure concern. “But I can't start a new life without paying my debts. Rengoku san saved my life. Whoever lady y/n is….I need to deliver this letter to her.”
“I get what you're saying…but there's no address in any part of the letter. Moreover you are being hesitant on opening it. How do you think you will find her then?” Tengen spoke from the back, alerting the former wind hashira and tanjiro. Both wondered how long he's been eavesdropping them. They expect nothing less. He was a hashira and before that he was a ninja. Even after losing one arm and one eye, he still holds the same power.
“Honestly, I've no idea. But I just can't sit and let it slide.” said tanjiro.
“you’re getting married to kanao next year. Better focus on that. Don't get into useless troubles hanging her off.” sanemi said lazily, yawning and getting up to his feet, stretching a bit. “I will be leaving then. Take care.” Tanjiro didn't reply to him.
Tengen shared a look with sanemi. His eyes shooting a mischievous look filled with pride. Tengen has been in a mission with tanjiro and he knows how stubborn he can be. He knows how pure of a heart he had. And how he even had empathy for demons. He knows sanemi have to surrender infront of him.
Annoyed, sanemi rolled his eyes, “if you're that insistent on finding the girl, then why not refer to kasugai crows. Rengoku's crow might know something about the girl.” He suggested as tengen was in literal awe. He never thought sanemi could ever think logically with his brain. Tanjiro’s head perked up in joy at his idea. Now he finally has a path to look up. Sanemi felt awkward and took his leave, avoiding to look in their eyes.
“Ah! Shinazugawa san! Thanks for the idea!!”
“That brat finally seems to work a bit humane ain't he ?!” A deep laugh bubbled up tengen’s throat.
“I’m happy that he has softened a little now that demons have perished. However, about rengoku san’s kasugai crow, do you know where do I get in contact with it?”
“About that, i would recommend writting letter to kiriya sama. I'm sure he would know.” Tengen patted his head with a reassuring smile.
Soon he took his leave with his wives and giyu, since they were going to an onsen. Basically makio Suma and hinatsuru dragged him along forcefully. Giyu looked a bit tired but he was happy.
Things changed and improved rapidly in a short time. Zenitsu and nezuko got married last year. Murata also got engaged. Tanjiro couldn't help but wonder if the lady named y/n had moved on or not? Will rengoku san be happy if she found someone else? Will he be sad? He looked at nezuko smiling at zenitsu as he played with kiyo, naho and sumi. He looked at inosuke giving his shiniest acorns to aoi. He looked at kanao, smiling delicately, just like shinobu did.
He was happy.
But was the lady named y/n happy in her life?
Kanao looked at him and smiled. She came near him and took his wrinkled hand in hers. “Tanjiro san, you know I would really like you to deliver this letter to y/n san before we start a new life.”
“Even if it takes time?”
“Even if it does. I will wait for you for an eternity.” Tanjiro chuckled as red tints his cheeks. How pure kanao’s heart is? How did he get so lucky to have her in his life? God knows.
“Then I will write a letter to kiriya.”
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After a few days, a letter arrived from ubuyashiki's. Along with that two kasugai crows were found circling over the house. Among them one belonged to tanjiro, when he was a demon slayer— tennoji.
The other was the one who accompanied rengoku till his last breath. Kiriya felt sad for rengoku and wrote his kind regards to tanjiro sending the crow to him. His name was kaname.
The crow looked pretty much normal and wasn't as hot -tempered as tennoji.
This was the first time tanjiro had seen him. “Hello, kaname san. Sorry for summoning you all of a sudden. But I wanted to ask you something…” the crow didn't reply, but tilted his head at tanjiro.
“I-ahh- do you know anything about a lady named y/n?”
The crow remained quite for a while, as if reminiscing the days which followed great sorrow. “Master's…y/n sama…master's lover…letters…”
His words were what tanjiro was expecting. Tanjiro finally saw a path clear.
“Can you tell me where she lives?” Asked tanjiro hopefully.
The crow shaked his head,“i don't know.”
Slightly disappointed, tanjiro started asking how she looked. The crow wasn't exactly able to describe her. Accepting his defeat, he asked the crow where he saw her for the first time. Maybe if he goes there, he will be able to find her.
“tokyo…capital…mission..”
the crow wasn't that helpful, they only got to know two things.
First- whoever this y/n is, she was rengoku's lover.
Second- rengoku's crow saw her in tokyo, the capital.
This indicates maybe rengoku and the people who went to the mission in tokyo as said by the crow, if alive, they might know something about it. Tanjiro wrote updates to the others.
A few days later, giyu’s letter came along with some sweets. In that he wrote that rengoku went to tokyo for a battle with lower moon 2 back then. Oyakata sama had assigned him to that mission, before he was a hashira. There were a bunch of people accompanying him, one of them being kanroji mitsuri.
Oh! Mitsuri kanroji was his tsugoku, tanjiro almost forgot about that, he got excited to ask her when reality struck him down. She died after the war. Even if she knew y/n tanjiro couldn't ask her.
He continued reading the letter from giyu as the path which formed in his mind started getting blurry.
Upon hearing from tanjiro, kanao dropped by at the kamado’s. She said she might have one way to get to know about y/n. Tanjiro's eyes perked up at kanao’s remark, which almost made kanao’s heart jolt since he was so cute.
Kanao explained, when shinobu was alive, she had once told her that mitsuri was close to a kakushi couple. She further said that mitsuri used to write letters to them about her missions on a regular basis. Those two even came to congratulate her when she was promoted to hashira. She said it was nice to see that a girl around her age so lively.
Tanjiro wrote a letter to kiriya again. And next week when tanjiro went out with inosuke to sell some charcoal in the city, a couple came to visit them.
Nezuko welcomed them, while zenitsu narrowed his eyes on them, especially upon the male.
When tanjiro returned home he was delighted to find the kakushi couple still waiting for him. They didn't hide their faces anymore. Dressed normally as regular citizens. Honestly they were pretty young, and tanjiro admired how they served the corps group keeping them intact.
“I'm so glad you both came.” Tanjiro bowed infront of them in gratitude.
“Oh no, that's completely fine. We are happy to be of any help. Oyakata sama said you wanted to know about mitsuri.” said the woman.
“Ahh not exactly about her, but for instance, do you have any idea if she ever mentioned a name called ‘y/n’?” tanjiro said pulling inosuke back beside him as he kept munching on the snacks for the guests. The guy gave him a creeped stare as he focused back on tanjiro's words.
“y/n? No I don't think so….she ever mentioned that name. Did she tanaka san?” The woman said.
Tanjiro felt anxious as the guy named tanaka tilted his head to think a bit.
“Nope I don't think she did.”, he clarified.
“Oh….” Tanjiro's voice was barely a whisper, that even inosuke sat straight checking if he's alright.
“Is there something else we can do, tanjiro kun? You look upset.”
“No no…it's fine. I was just trying to deliver a letter to rengoku san's love—”
“Rengoku san? Kanroji san’s master ain't it?” Tanaka spoke before tanjiro could finish his sentence.
“Yeah.”
“Oh my god? The one whom rengoku san loves was y/n?”
“You guys know her?” Hope shined bright in tanjiro's eyes. So did a fervent fear. Fear of disappointment. Fear of not being able to pay his debts. Fear of not fulfilling rengoku san's last wish.
“We didn't know about her name but kanroji san used to tell us about her…isn't it shimi san?” The guy turned to his wife with a fuzzy smile on his face.
“Yeah, she seemed so happy, wanting to have a love like them.” Said the wife.
And for the first time till now tanjiro wasn't let down. “Really? Did she lived in tokyo? Rengoku san's crow said he saw her for the first time during a mission.”
“A mission? No.” The wife let out a chuckle, “it started way before that. Kanroji san said….. ”
“Ahh! Master! Can we please have a break! I'm tired from hitting the sword, my limbs are sore.” Mitsuri cried barely holding another strike from her master.
“Haha you got tired this fast, we haven't even started.” the blazing hair resembling fire, moved swiftly as the guy attempted another strike on mitsuri, but thanks to a call outside, he stopped midway.
“Wait a bit, I will be back in a while.” Said kyojuro rengoku, her master. ‘i will be happy if you don't come back for a while.’ she thought as she collapsed on her knees, to exhausted to move.
“Ahh senjuro kun! Bring me some snacks please!!!” She shouted hoping for the little kid to hear.
A bit later, rengoku comes back. Senjuro looked at his elder brother, frowning while holding a letter. Mitsuri sat beside senjuro, who brought her some onigiris.
“What's that master?” She asked, stuffing another onigiri in her mouth.
“Even I'm confused. It's a letter but it wasn't delivered by a kasugai crow but by a postman.”
“Huh? Maybe it's from some neighbour wanting to lower your voice while eating.” Senjuro said shrugged off his shoulders as mitsuri suppress her laugh bubbling on her throat, almost choking on rice. It wasn't an irregular thing that neighbors anonymously complained about kyojuro shouting ‘umai’ every time he ate.
“Open it.” Said senjuro, curious what type of sarcastic words they might have chosen now.
Kyojuro did as his little brother requested. However kyojuro didn't reacted after reading the letter.
“Today's practice is over. You can relax.” He, then ordered senjuro to boil him some bathwater, shooing him away.
Senjuro obeyed his brother, while mitsuri felt kinda odd, yet she was happy to have a day off.
As soon as both of them left the backyard, rengoku blushed like crazy. The letter was still in his hand as he tried to digest the words.
“A love lett—” a big palm shut mitsuri’s mouth, preventing her from shouting. Yet she was squealing. “I thought you left! You've gotten quite quick in sly footing didn't ya? I'm impressed.” He finally removed his hand from mitsuri's mouth.
“Ofcourse you made me practice for 23 hours without sleep. Anyways, what's written in that?”
“Do you want me to make you practice for 2 days straight?”
“Naah I'm fine! But master, I'm happy.”
“Okay.”
“And curious too. Please let me read it.”
“No!”
After shooing mitsuri out of the backyard he tucked the letter in his sleeves. This letter was sure weird.
“Rengoku san thought that she didn't read the letter, but she had a strong memory and could remember each word after seeing it once. She was so excited telling us about that.” said the wife, looking outside the window at the moon.
The flame of the lantern flickered a bit. “So that might mean that the letter should be among those papers…”
“Woah zenitsu! I thought you were asleep?!”
“How am I supposed to sleep if you're talking that loudly idiot!”
Yeah the paper. There were a lot of papers. Some were smudged and unreadable, so they didn't read all of them. Tanjiro went over their cupboard and brought the bunch of papers.
“Can you identify the letter among them?” He asked the guy to inspect. The couple looked at each other. “Maybe we can try but the writings aren't clear.”
“Please if you can. I need to deliver that letter.” tanjiro bowed his head down begging to the couple.
“You're a nice kid, Tanjiro kun. We will surely help you.”
It's been more than twenty minutes since they are reading each and every paper. Inosuke got bored and slept on the tatami mats. Nezuko was already asleep so they didn't wanted to bother her.
“Yeah maybe this one. From what Kanroji san had explained, this seems to be the one.” The guy tanaka handed the delicate piece of paper to tanjiro.
“However, in each of these letters, she referred herself as his wife…I didn't know he was married…?”
“Huh?” Tanjiro frowned upon the man's words. ‘what?’ he checked the letters again. And the guy was right, y/n did refer herself as his wife. They didn't read the papers as carefully since they were long, they just assumed she was his lover. But rengoku san wasn't the one to hide such crucial information.
Tanjiro was confused, they were so focused on finding the address of y/n that they ignored reading the letters, which could provide information about her.
Tanjiro spent the entire night reading each word carefully. Fingers running across elegant handwriting and smudged ink. As he kept reading those with a pain in his heart. There were in total 7 of those letters, which were written to rengoku. And the one which tanjiro kept seemingly in care— the sealed one; one which has a strong smell of rengoku’s aura; one with tear stains.
The couple spent the night in their house and left the next morning after breakfast.
This helped but not that much. However the path had become clearer.
He knew that the girl was from a nice family who had hands in education from the curves in each characters of her words.
Second, she had mentioned that he had saved her and her friends from a fire, in yokaichi.
“I'm leaving for yokaichi.” Said tanjiro during breakfast.
“Eh? Oni- chan?”
“Don't worry nezuko, oni-chan will be back soon.”
“I will also go!” Said inosuke, “inosuke-sama will protect kamaboko gonpachiro, his minon from any harm.”
Tanjiro chuckled at how inosuke shows his care for him, “fine then.”
“Zenitsu san you also go with them…”
“Ehh, but nezuko chan won't you be lonely without me? I know you will be lonely without m—”
“I won't. You guys will be back soon. Till then I will be at butterfly mansion.”
“B-but nezuko channn!!!!” Inosuke dragged him away as nezuko watched the poor soul. She felt bad but she wanted him to be with her brother. She just felt that the three of them should go together.
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The three of them finally reached yokaichi town. It was small but quite dense in population. Tanjiro felt that this was an advantage for them since they stories and folks might spread fast in a vast social surroundings.
“Inosuke, zenitsu let's ask the older citizens first, since they might be living here for a while, they must have known about any fire incidents.”
“I was about to say the same thing as you.” Snorted the board masked guy rushing off in the east direction. Zenitsu simply nodded and went in the opposite direction, sulking. He has been giving tanjiro silent treatment since he had to leave nezuko alone.
Tanjiro sighed as he started finding old citizens nearby asking about a fire incident.
After asking a few of them, he sighed, it didn't really do any help, since many weren't able to hear and some weren't able to remember. When he asked the youngsters, they ran away seeing his old crippled hand.
Tanjiro, let down, returned to the spot where they had started searching. Inosuke was already there tapping his feet as he was waiting for the others.
“Did you find anything?” Asked tanjiro.
“Nahh! They were mere cowards. Running way from me. Though I liked it! Everyone should fear the great inosuke sama.” As expected from inosuke, zenitsu was yet to return. Both of them decided to wait till he comes back.
After a while, zenitsu came back. His sulking still hasn't tailed off. “Ahh zenitsu! Did you find anything? You took so long!!”
Zenitsu didn't reply.
He stared at him with dead eyes.
Oh god! Zenitsu’s moody phases are the worst, especially if it's an urgent task. The whining and sulking from a few years ago flashed in front of tanjiro’s eyes.
“You turned mute or what?” said inosuke, already having enough of zenitsu’s tantrums.
But the only reply that came from the blonde was an eye roll. Inosuke got pissed, ready to throw hands at him if not stopped by tanjiro.
“Zenitsu, I will get nezuko chan make sweet washagis for you when we get back home.”
“Really!! You better do that. I can't even explain how much I've missed my dear wife nezuko chan. She must be so lonely without me.” Babbled zenitsu, finally speaking for the first time till they left home.
“She won't.”
“Stop making snarky comments you stupid boar head. What do you even know about pure love between me and nezuko chan?!!!”
“Ahh zenitsu! Did you get to know anything?”
Zenitsu considered tanjiro a while, before giving in, “At the very west of this town, there's an inn. People said it almost burned down about four years ago…I looked for its owner but they said he will be back late.”
Tanjiro let out a breath. If that's the case, then the owner might remember the incident clearly. If only he could provide any useful information.
“Btw do you really believe whoever this y/n is…she's still alive?” Zenitsu scratched the back of his neck, shooing away the mosquitos ready to feed upon his blood. It's been long three of them are waiting in front of the inn for its owner to arrive.
“Let's just not lose hope.” The inn did looked like it suffered severe consequences from whatever happened 4 years ago. Most of it has been repaired but the aura and the smell can still be recognised. There are still some wooden planks with burn marks which are yet to be repaired.
“May I ask who you three are?”
A chilly voice turned their attention. There stood a thin, frail boy, barely an adult. His eyes were small with hair falling down on his brows. He speculated about them with a suspicious look in his eyes(especially on the boat masked guy). Was he the owner? He looked too young for that.
“Ahh good evening! I'm tan—”
“If you're wanting to stay the night, go somewhere else, I'm not opening the inn today.” He replied coldly before tanjiro could even introduce himself.
“Ahh no, you're misunderstanding…. actually we are here to ask you something about the incident four years ago…”
The look on the boy’s face changed from suspicion to disgust.
“Well…I don't wanna talk about it. You guys can leave.”
“No please, at least hear our questions. It's really important.”
“As if I care.”
“Hey fucker! If you don't answer I'll break each and every bone in your body.”
“Stop it inosuke!” This isn't going any better. It's almost night, they also need to find a place to stay.
“tanjiro can you move aside a bit” said zenitsu, without waiting for his reply, he went to the kid. Apparently he whispered something in his ears which seemed to have creeped the guy out.
Tanjiro gulped. He must be desperate to go home and see nezuko. Sometimes he forgets that their coward friend can be hell scary when it comes to nezuko.
“Okay. He's ready to spill anything he knows.” The look on the kids face made it clear he didn't wanted to recall anything about that incident. However tanjiro had no choice but to push him off the edge.
“Hey I'm sorry if we're causing you any trouble, but you know we really need to know anything you know about a girl named y/n.”
“Y/n?”
“Yeah. Heard it before?”
“No. There were none with this name.”
“Eh? Can you try to recall. There must be someone. A girl who was saved by rengoku san. A guy whose hair was similar to fire.”
“Kyojuro rengoku you mean? He pretty much saved everyone. The inn you see here, is small. Before the incident also it was small and not that popular. Only a few people stayed here occasionally. So I can be sure there was no one named y/n.”
An ‘oh’ is just what tanjiro could manage. The boy got inside the house behind the inn. The night fell and they were still in the same position as before.
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Inosuke was throwing tantrums in hunger, so they decided to go to an udon shop nearby. Perhaps they should not lose hope. Thinking empty stomach is not always the best option. This they were sitting in the shop waiting for their order to come.
“But she did mention in those letters that she was saved by him. How come the owner doesn't know anything about that?”
“I already told you we should have broken his bones, monjiro.”
“I think it's useless, let's just go back home to my nezuko chan.”
“Zenitsu! What if you were in place of rengoku san? Would you be happy if your last words don't reach nezuko?” zenitsu went silent at that.
They stayed silent till three bowls of hot udon were placed infront of them. Tanjiro and zenitsu thanked the server for the food whereas inosuke just shoved his head into the hot udon bowl. “You guys seem a bit tense, is everything okay? Asked the old man, the owner of the udon restaurant.
“Yeah we're just a bit disappointed.” Said tanjiro. “Haha and why so? Got rejected by a girl? Can't blame her, it's your hand.” The old man pointed at tanjiro's crippled hand. “What happened that's it's such in a bad condition?”
“Oh! It's…from…from a fight.” Tanjiro smiled, it's hard to offend him anyway,“ i already have a fiance and we are getting married soon.”
“Oh my god! Please forgive my mean words then. I wish you both happiness.”
“Thank you.”
“Then why pull a sad face. My udon tastes the best when you eat it with a good mood, ya know?!”
“Haha, I'm sure it will still taste good. Actually we were here wanting to acquire some information about the fire incident 4 years ago.”
“Oh that was such a bad one. If there wasn't that guy everyone would have lost their life…”
“Rengoku san? You mean?” Tanjiro's eyes perked up. “I see, you know kyojuro. Yeah, that boy was a regular in my shop. Although it's been more than three years since he last visited, i wonder how he's doing? Tell him to visit once, the old man misses him.” the man bursted in laughter while the three of them couldn't even managed to smile even once.
How are they even supposed to tell him, tell him that, “rengoku san died three years ago while saving us from…” zenitsu's voice trailed down into nothingness. So did the old man's. They didn't knew if he's aware about demons so they didn't exaggerated it anymore.
No one spoke for a while.
“I see. What did you guys want to know then? I'm sure you were close to him if he gave up on his life for you all…”
“do you know anyone named y/n? I need to deliver this letter to her.” tanjiro took out the yellow stained letter and handed it to the old man, who squinted his eyes on the writings, drawing a wrinkled finger tracing it's shapes.
“Y…y/n…..yeah she asked me to send some letters to his residence. The kid was young and beautiful.” he returned the letter back to tanjiro.
“She did?!”
“Yeah…that kid almost begged me to not tell kyojuro anything about that.”
The three of them looked at each other. “Can you tell us more about her?” “Do you know where she lives?” “Can I get a refill?” The three of them threw questions at the old man's face, whose lips creaked a bit. “Hmm, I don't know where she lives but I can tell you about her.” He said taking inosuke’s bowl to the counter for another refill.
The restaurant was almost empty so they went and sat on the round seats opposite of the counter.
“It was about four years ago when she appeared in my shop after kyojuro left….”
“umm excuse me…” you said
“Yeah young lady, what would you prefer?” asked the owner pointing at the chart hung on the wall which displayed all the items on the menu.
“I will take a hot tempura udon please.” said the girl beside you.
“And you miss?” The owner directed the question towards you. “Umm I will take anything you prefer.” “Ehh is that so? Fine, I'll make you the tastiest bowl of my special udon.”
“Just tell already…!” The girl beside you whispered into your ear, which was audible to the owner, he chuckled a bit. “Can you shut up….!!”
“I will if you say it…!”
“Okay fine!”
“Umm…if you don't mind, is there any way you can ask the address of the man who just left a while ago?” you asked hesitantly, fiddling with your fingers.
“Kyojuro you mean? I already know his residence, he made me deliver udon to his place before.” the owner said trying to keep his composure, young kids are just so bold nowadays.
“Is that so?” your eyes shined dreamily.
“Why harbored a crush on the man you saw a few mins ago? Hahaha!!” you felt blood rush to your cheeks as you couldn't find words to answer his question.
“She wants to thank him for saving her.” said the girl beside you. “Atsuko!” Atsuko just gave a smirk, ignoring how she threw you in such humiliation.
“Ah…if you don't mind then can you please deliver this letter to him anonymously. Don't tell him I asked you to send it. Please…I can pay you for that..”
“I don't need any payment. I will do that. You can just come and enjoy my special udon sometimes.” the owner accepted the letter from your hands, tucking it in his sleeves. “And maybe watch that man you talked about…he comes here around weekends.” The man hinted you the place which kyojuro normal has his lunch. And if you weren't blushing any harder, you felt your entire face burn with embarrassment. But you want to do it anyway.
Atsuko giggled beside you excited to see what happens next.
“So you delivered the letters in her stead?” asked zenitsu.
“Yeah…she kept coming back with letters for a good six months, if i remember correctly. Maybe kyojuro replied to them…”
It fell silent for a while. The only sound echoing was of inosuke slurping on the noodles.
“So, while you delivered letters rengoku san didn't knew her?” The guy with red eyes pointed the question at the owner.
“No i don't think so, she never came when he used to visit, that is, the weekends.”
“Can you tell us what was the name of her friend again?”
“Atsuko…if I remember correctly..”
“Can you describe how she looked?”
“Ehh? I can't really remember people's faces clearly, but she was very beautiful, big eyes with a nice soft skin. Her hair was long and dark. She had a soft voice. She looked like she belonged from a privileged family. So did her friend.”
“Oh is there anything specific you remember about her?”
“Hmm…let me think…if I'm not wrong rengoku once mentioned her name to a boy who tagged along with him. If you go to him i believe he could provide you some answers.”
“Really? Who was he?”
“His name was….daisuke I guess. He used to wear a similar black sort of uniform like kyojuro.”
After finishing their meal, tanjiro payed for everyone and thanked the old man for all that information. They went to a nearby inn and spent the night.
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Tanjiro wrote some letters updating each one of their current status. And he sent a crow to kiriya requesting him to take a look if there's any former slayer named Daisuke and used to frequent his missions with rengoku.
The next day around afternoon, tennoji returned from ubuyashiki's. He said there was indeed a slayer named Daisuke. He had suffered severe injuries from the war and now lives in his village.
As directed by tennoji, tanjiro's crow, they went to the south east from their current position. After two days and one night of sleeping in the jungle without the fear of demons, a village appeared. It wasn't that populated. After asking a few kids, they showed the path which led to Daisuke’s hut.
“Umm excuse me? Daisuke san?”
“Yes, wh— ta…tanjiro….aren't you tanjiro?” the guy said, he was blind from one eye similar to tanjiro, with a missing arm and a limp leg. Tanjiro felt sorry for him.
“Yes, they are inosuke and zenitsu. Sorry for being a bother….”
“Oh no please come inside. I will get tea for you…” he said excited.
“Oh, you don't have to. It's fine. Actually we wanted to ask something….”
“Yeah? Please come in. I will surely help you as much as possible.”
They entered the hut and sat on the tatami mats. Even after pleading not to bring any snacks, Daisuke brought some rice crackers for them.
“Please have them.”
“You didn't have to.”
“Oh it's nothing. Now what did you wanted to ask about?”
“It's about y/n.” Tanjiro said as the rest simply focused on rice crackers. A hint of familiarity glistened in Daisuke's eyes. “Y/n? You mean the one rengoku san was madly in love with?”
Madly in love with? Tanjiro felt a pinch in his heart. Rengoku san must have adored you. The sealed letter had tear stains. Did rengoku cried while writing that?
“Ah…yeah…I need to deliver this letter to y/n but I don't know where she lives. Did rengoku san ever mentioned where she lived?”
“A letter? Why sent a letter when he was so adamant about that?”
“Adamant?”
“Yeah…he said that the pages limited his words to her. He was so desperate wanting to see her that he spent like 2 weeks searching for her without taking rest after his missions.”
“Seriously? So how are you supposed to recover from those injuries?” Daisuke said to his senior with an exasperated expression.
“It will heal when I get to see her face.” Said rengoku, bandaging the cut from a demon's blood arts whom he just killed.
“You're gonna exhaust yourself from build up fatigue.” The sun rays kissed the soil painted in crimson from the shedded blood.
“I will be fine. You go and take rest.”
“I can't believe you're going to find the creepy girl sending you creepy letters claiming herself as your wife.” Daisuke let you a sigh at rengoku's stubborness.
“In that case I gotta meet my wife.” Rengoku's laughter echoed among the vast field.
It still echoed in Daisuke's memories.
“So rengoku wasn't married…?”
“Naah. Honestly I think, after rengoku san’s mother died, he had faced severe neglect from his father. He was the oldest son of the family, so he had to be strong for his sibling. But sometimes we forget, even the strong needs someone to back for them. Even they need some kind words to let go all their tiredness and have a tight sleep. Even they need someone who assured them that they have a bright future…”
That's right. Tanjiro had seen how shinjuro, rengoku san's father, disrespected his sacrifice. He was so lost and depressed in his wife's loss that he forgot about the ones who need the most care— his kids.
Daisuke continued, “when the letter came from y/n, rengoku san must have read comforting words for the first time since that. He used to reread those letters a thousand times when he was free. Sometimes I wondered if he ever got bored doing that…but I knew he didn't. A starved man will eat anything. And I knew he was emotionally starving.”
Zenitsu and inosuke stopped eating rice crackers. Rengoku's death solely hurted them as much as it did to tanjiro, but they never thought it was that deep. That it was something beyond his life as a demon slayer.
Zenitsu could relate. After all he was an orphan. And rengoku was too, being in a situation similar to him, where his only parent was emotionally unavailable for him. He felt sorry for him.
No one dared to say anything. The silence was piercing their hearts like splinters of iron.
“Fun fact was that he did find her,” Daisuke chorted a bit before continuing, “and he literally begged her to marry him…”
Rengoku searched from cabin to cabin in the steam train. In the last letter you mentioned you were going to aomori to visit your relatives by train.
After a bit of negotiation he learned that there was only one train which was going to stop at aomori. This is how he ended up buying tickets at the last moment getting in the train, to find you.
He hasn't seen you before. He wondered how you would look. Even more beautiful and kind than your letters. Even more beautiful than the slight hooks of the curved kanjis you had written his name. Even more beautiful than the blazing sun.
He had checked almost the entire train. The content smile on his face has now thinned into pursed lips. He was nervous. What if he fails to find you? What if he never gets to find you? What if he never gets to see your face?
What if he didn't recognise you?
He flashed all the passengers in his head before lowering his head. None of them carried the same demeanor your letters did. He couldn't imagine any one of them being you.
He entered the last cabin. It was empty. However this cabin seemed a bit different. It had a narrow passage on the right with doors while the opposite side had small rooms. It seemed private. One previously booked by someone.
Rengoku turned back to return to his cabin when the door beside him shot open.
Inside was a girl, who seemed to have frozen for a while.
“Y/n?”
The girl’s eyes widened at the name which left rengoku's lips. She shut the door close, but it didn't closed, something was blocking it. The girl looked down, realizing rengoku had slipped his feet in to prevent her from doing that.
He barged the door open. “Y/n right?”
The girl remained silent for some time.
“I apologize to you with all my might rengoku san. Please forgive my intrusiveness.” you said, lowering your head, nervous at the sudden appearance of him.
“God you're even more beautiful than I thought…” you shoot your head up only to see him looking with such dreamy eyes at you as if you're the only thing he's ever wanted to look at. And it made your stomach churn. Guilt rushed in each of your veins.
“Rengoku san, i shouldn't have wrote those letters to you.” You say. Your friend had warned you before. You didn't listen.
“Why?” He took a step closer.
You gulped before answering,“i wrote nonsense, pretending to be your wife I'm very sorry yo—”
“Then don't pretend anymore.”
“Huh?”
“Be my wife.” Rengoku suggested. His face now inches away from yours.
“And then she ran away?” Said daisuke, barely containing his laugh.
“Yeah…did I do something wrong?” Rengoku said with visible confusion plastered on his face. It was rare to see any expression other than his smiling face.
“Of course she would run away.”
“and why so?”
“Rengoku san, a girl thinks about her future first after marriage. She knows nothing about you.”
“But she wrote me lett—”
“Which you didn't answered….since you thought you couldn't fit your words in papers.” Rengoku couldn't say anything in his defense. It was true rengoku never replied to any of your letters. When he received the first one he thought someone was pranking him. But then the letters came continuously, one each month. He slowly fell in love with those. He fell in love with your letters. And somehow, he fell in love with you.
“Then what do I do?”
“Be honest, tell her about your salary and your job, tel her you can take care of her needs.”
“Yeah? Kk I'm going then…”
Rengoku stood at the aomori station waiting for you to get on the train for your return. Upon spotting you, he called out for you. The train had a delay and he had a good 1 hour to make things clear.
“Eh? R-rengoku san!”
“I work in demon slayer corps. And currently I'm in the highest rank which is kinoe. I get a decent salary of 42,500 yen. I live with my younger brother and father. My mother died a few years ago from illness. I spend my day training, slaying demons and rereading your letters,” guilt rushed through your veins again. “I promise, I will fulfill all your needs and treat you like my queen.”
“rengoku san...”
“sorry i didn't replied to any of those, I just couldn't express myself much in writing. If possible I would like to crawl into a hole. However you don't need to worry. I will make sure that I keep you happy.”
You frowned at his words, unable to explain him. How could you do that to him?
“Y/n san, let's make the words on the letters true. Let's be husband and wife. I know that I work in an organization that isn't approved by governm—”
“Rengoku san, shall we walk while talking? We are blocking the road.” you change the topic, not wanting to talk about it.
“Sure.”
Rengoku continued telling you everything…everything about him. From his childhood till his mother's death. From his father's neglect, to his way up to kinoe, from his sword to the number of demons he slayed. You didn't believe in demons before, but now that rengoku tells you about this, demon folks is something you want to believe. You wanted to believe in everything he said. Even if he's telling the dumbest thing, far from reality, you wanted to believe it.
“Y/n san! Look here!” You turn back to rengoku.
Click.
“And did she said yes?”
“Maybe. He didn't mention her answer. He was so happy that finally he met her.”
“You must have seen her then…can you tell us how she looked?”
“I think I might have a photo of her. Rengoku san, asked to recieve a photo delivery, since he had a mission from the previous oyakata sama.” Daisuke got up limping to the one of the backrooms of his hut. He returned a few minutes later, handling a black and white photo to tanjiro.
Inosuke and zenitsu peeped from the sides to take a look at the long awaited moment, when they finally get to see y/n.
The photo was black and white, but tanjiro felt it was still colorful to rengoku san. In the photo there was a girl, young, with long beautiful hair, in a loose braid. She wore a flower hair ornament, which must have shone in gold back then. She was just how the udon owner described her, big doe eyes, pretty mouth, she looked educated. She was dressed in a floral patterned kimono. Zenitsu wondered what sort of colour the kimono would have been. He wondered if he could get a similar one for nezuko as a souvenir.
The girl was beautiful. Inosuke thought, she had similar smile to shinobu, he wondered if his mom’s smile was like that.
The girl's reflection reflected in several mirrors behind her, and one of the mirror had caught the reflection of the one clicking the photo— kyojuro rengoku.
“The last I heard from rengoku san, he said she wanted to meet him before taking the mugen train mission. He seemed happy, maybe she agreed eventually to marry him….if only he didn't…” Daisuke didn't finished the sentence, considering his surroundings.
They sit in deafening silence for a bit.
A bit later tanjiro thanked Daisuke for the rice crackers and his help. He asked if it were okay to take the photo with him. Daisuke had no problem with that. After bidding farewell they continued their journey, unsure what to do next.
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After two days of staying at an inn, cluelessly with no idea how to find y/n, inosuke suggests to go to the station from where they got on mugen train.
“If we go to that lord's land and ask the people over there and show this painting of this long haired girl, then some might recognize her.” He had said.
“First of all that's a train station, second it's a photo. How can you still be the same stupid even after 3 years?” zenitsu cringed hard.
“wha—”
“Inosuke’s right zenitsu, we should go there and ask the people over there.” tanjiro said halting the cat and mouse fight which was about to start between the two.
Daisuke had said rengoku was about to meet her before the mission, which means before getting on the mugen train. Even if it is difficult, some locals must have seen even one glance of her.
The next morning, as per inosuke's idea, three of them left for the station.
“Umm excuse me…” said tanjiro, forwarding the photo in front of the local he stopped on his way, “can you tell me if you've seen this girl?”
The man gave a disgusted look at tanjiro. “no I haven't.”
“Ehh? Are you sure you haven—”
“I don't have time for bullshit.” He went off ignoring tanjiro. Strange. People here are less friendly, some even get irritated if stopped on their way.
It's almost lunch time, zenitsu and inosuke had tried to stop the locals as tanjiro asked them about you. It was clear that this ain't ending soon. Especially when they've got nothing good in hand.
“Let's go buy something to eat.”
“YEAH! I'M HECK HUNGRY!!”
“I saw a kid wearing glasses, selling bentos…let's buy some then…she went in that direction.”
Upon seeing the kid, tanjiro asked her to give them three boxes of bentos. It seemed similar to the ones they had three years ago. The girl was about to leave after receiving her payment, but tanjiro's instinct told him to stop her.
“Wait!” The girl turned back to him as zenitsu and inosuke watched him, confused. Tanjiro put his hand inside the sleeves of yukata, taking out the only photo they had of you.
“Have you ever seen this girl around here?”
The girl squinted her eyes behind the round glass frames,“y/n san! Isn't she y/n san…”
Zenitsu’s eyes popped out, he wondered if tanjiro's a mind reader or something, how can he be so quick?
“Yes! You know her? Can you tell us where she lives?” Tanjiro asked desperately.
“She never mentioned that to us…” the girl said frowning her eyebrows.
“Oh…how did you know her then?”
“Well, a demon slayer who saved us three years ago, requested…”
You waited for kyojuro to come. The sun shone brightly above you. The empty roadway started getting crowdy. You've had enough.
“Y/n san. You wanted to see me?” kyojuro had become a hashira now, and amongst his tight schedule he barely had time for you. It's not like you were disappointed, but still…you and kyojuro often talked through phone booths, after you've suggested that casually one day while strolling with him. Last week when he called you, after what felt like years, you said you wanted to meet him soon. ‘fine meet me at the near hinakawa station, I will be waiting.’ he'd said.
Though it was you, waiting for him to come. You've felt distant from him. And you didn't like it.
“I ran away.” You announced looking in his honey drizzled eyes. Though you aren't sure if it were your overthinking but those eyes seemed a bit dull today.
Kyojuro didn't say anything, maybe confused how to interpret your words.
“my family's against us. And I'm against them. I left the old relations to form a new one. With whom I love. Let's get married.” You said taking his hand in yours.
Kyojuro said nothing but wrapped you in his arms. You hugged him tighter, never wanting to let go. “I'm not alone anymore.” He said before nuzzling his face on the crook of your neck.
Yes. You've always wanted to hear these words from his lips. You've wanted to let him know that he's not alone even when he thinks he is. You wanted him to know that there's someone who will always support him even if he's father thinks he has no talent. This was the reason you wrote him letters in first place. This was the reason you let yourself get tangled in a world far different from yours— in the world of kyojuro rengoku.
He left soon saying he will be back after completing a mission. He said he will send someone to you and asked you to wait for him till then. And you agreed gladly. About half an hour later a girl wearing round steel rimmed glasses along with her grandmother appeared.
“Y/n?” You nodded your head at them. “Rengoku sama asked us to keep you safe till he gets back. If you don't mind then you can come home with us.”
You got to know from the grandmother, how the rengokus had saved their lives two times. You've never seen kyojuro fight, but you knew he was hella strong. Still your heart sinks into your stomach whenever he mentions a mission. You've never encountered demons, once you didn't even believed in them, and now here you are nodding at each of those demon tales of the grandmother.
It didn't mattered anyway as long as he comes back safe. You have to wait for a while for him to comeback….after all you weren't done….you still had an important thing to say.
“Then?”
“Then days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months, the slayer never made its return. She left eventually, thanking us. We told her to wait for a while more…but she was too stubborn.” said the girl, fixing her specks again.
Tanjiro couldn't believe what he heard. Rengoku had so many things going on in his life. He had more priorities than him and his friends. Someone who was more important. Someone who left her entire family for him.
Yet.
And yet.
He chose to save them sacrificing himself.
He wondered if the you hate him now.
Zenitsu and inosuke were too stunned to speak. All of them were on the verge of crying. To think…that he couldn't return because of them. To think that they played a role in ruining you happiness. That he died saving them.
“She said she was going to asakusa at her friend’s house, named atsuko.”
Tanjiro bowed at the girl, he couldn't manage thanking her, since he knew if he draws one more breath trying to talk, he would break down right there.
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The three of them took a train to asakusa after eating those bentos. They looked similar because rengoku had bought the same boxes from that bento girl 3 years ago.
Inosuke was oddly quiet inside the train. The other two also barely chatted before reaching their destination.
Tanjiro had visited asakusa before and he didn't liked that experience very much. Especially the narrow lanes. This time the city looked more developed than before. And it was more crowdy too. They made their way as the girl has previously informed, that atsuko works as a teacher in a big school for aristocrats.
Coincidentally, tanjiro found the same vendor from his last visit. Back then nezuko wasn't able to savor his ramens since she was a demon. He wished he brought her along. They ordered a steaming bowl of ramen, as the vendor was delighted seeing tanjiro again.
“Where that bamboo girl you carried along with you?”
“She's at home right now.”
“Don't give my wife stupid Nicknames.” ,shouted the blonde at the vendor. Tanjiro apologized in his stead as he kept fuming. “So why are you three here all of a sudden? It's been long ain't it?”
“Yeah we're looking for a girl named y/n. She has a friend who teaches in a big school named atsuko.”
“Y/n never heard that sort of peculiar name…”
“are there any big schools in this area, where aristocrats study?”
“Umm…there are a lot of big schools, you could go and ask at the library. There's only one library here and all the school students or teachers borrow books from there. They must know something about that.”
“Oh really! Thankyou very much.”
Without any further do, the three of them went to the public library after eating.
“Woah this is so big.” Tanjiro said.
“It has so many books shall I borrow some for nezuko chan” zenitsu got lost in his dream world. Inosuke was quite whenever he gets in a new environment with a lots of people, so tanjiro didn't bother checking at him.
However, inosuke tugged on tanjiro's yukata pointing at something with his boar mask tugged on his head. Tanjiro could see his eyes popping out.
“What happened tanji—” zenitsu choked on his spit. Tanjiro’s jaw dropped, his mouth open wide. Inosuke was pointing at a picture hung on the wall. Tanjiro took out the photo hurriedly from his sleeves.
There's no mistake. This was indeed the same girl. Underneath the painting was written ‘princess akiko’ in bold letters carved carefully on metal.
“But isn't her name y/n?” Said zenitsu. What's going on? Before tanjiro could say anything, a woman in her twenties bumped into them while rushing.
The photo slipped out from tanjiro’s fingers.
“I'm so sorr—” the women's words halted as she looked at the photo lying on the ground in front of her. She picked it up before tanjiro could.
“Where did you get this picture from?” She asked as if it were a taboo to have this.
“Ahh you know y/n?”
“Y/n?”
“She looks similar to the girl in that painting” the boy with the boar mask declared.
“For the hundredth time inosuke it's a photo.” said zenitsu.
“She doesn't looks like her. She is her. She is princess akiko. The youngest daughter of the imperial family.”
What?
Three of them couldn't believe their ears. “But her name is y/n…” whispered tanjiro in a low voice.
“Just who are you?” She looked at the picture carefully, as if hiding it from the world, “isn't this rengoku?”
“You know rengoku san?”
“That's the man who saved us from a fire incident in an old town. And then became the main reason of the storms in akiko’s life.”
Tanjiro's eyes widened at the mention of the fire incident “Are you atsuko?”
The women nodded, surprised they know her name. Tanjiro, then explained the whole matter.
“I see.”
“This isn't right akiko…you shouldn't have continued writing letters to him in first place.” Atsuko said trying to persuade her not to run away.
“I can't. I can't live here. They will never accept him. And I can't live without him.”
“Akiko, try to understand…rengoku loves y/n.”
“And i am y/n!” The sound of the rain pouring down increased.
“You are princess akiko. Y/n is just a fake name, you created to hide your real identity when decided to write him letters. I supported you then since i thought it was a one time thing.” Atsuko shook the girl's shoulders trying to bring her to the path she considered right.
“But I don't wanna be akiko. I wanna be y/n…y/n rengoku.” Tears fell from the eyes in front of her as sobs escaped her lips.
“You're playing with rengoku’s feelings. Even if you run away, how do you intend to tell him the truth? You can't pretend to be y/n your entire life akiko.”
The girl didn't answered atsuko. That day slowly came to an end along with the rain. And Akiko did run away to rengoku, away from her pointless life, being a puppet in her family's hands.
“She returned a month after she ran away. When I asked him about rengoku she said nothing. Soon her brother came and took her away.” Whispered atsuko in a voice so doleful, that it was clear, it hurted.
“Did rengoku san knew she was a princess?” Zenitsu asked.
“He probably didn't. Akiko's family arranged several politicians later to set her up but she caused such a ruckus that her family gave up at last.”
“Do you know where she is now…i need to deliver this letter to her.” Each word tasted like bile to him. He couldn't even imagine how miserable it had been. You literally rejected a crystal palace only to live a normal life with him. Which didn't even come true. How feverishly would it have hurt? How apathetic fate was…
“She lives in osaka, running an orphanage. You would find her there. Shall I get someone two drive you three over there?”
“That will be very thoughtful of you” said tanjiro.
Atsuko arranged a driver, who would drive them to the orphanage, they expect to find you in. The car ride was even more silent than the train one. Inosuke, even, didn't make any fuss seeing a car for the first time.
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‘So this is where princess akiko lives.’ thought tanjiro. The building was similar to butterfly mansion, nothing that luxurious but quite spacious. The driver left soon after dropping them.
They crossed several corridors of children buzzing like bees. Laughter echoed among the hallways. How wonderful of a place for someone who lost their parents. Similar to them. They wondered if they would have grown up in this orphanage if they were born here.
Finally they reached to what seemed like an office. Similar to one shinobu used when researching herbs, the one which kanao uses now. They entered with a knock.
“Y/n san?”
Your head perked up at the name, which once your beloved used to refer. That beloved who never came.
Your heart ached a bit expecting kyojuro. A melancholic smile forms on your face seeing three kids infront of you. Of Course it wasn't him.
“yes?” you said gently, trying not to give in to your emotions.
But tanjiro could smell it. He smelled the intense grief bubbling within you. He could imagine how long you've bottled up your emotions.
Without saying much, he took the letter out of his sleeve placing it on your desk.
“It's been waiting for 3 years.”
“Huh?”
“Rengoku san wanted me to deliver this to you. Sorry this took so long.” your hands froze at his name. Your chest heaved without even you realizing as you grab the letter.
A single drop of tear fell on the spot which had been previously stained with tears. Tears of kyojuro rengoku.
Your fingers shaked tracing your name on the letter. The name which he used to call. Y/n not Akiko.
You teared the seal, taking out a paper. It was filled with words. Words, he never thought he could express on paper.
Dear y/n,
If you're reading this, then I'm sorry. I might have broken my promise of protecting you forever because by the time you read it— I will be dead.
Y/n i wanted to tell you, that I've loved you. I have loved you from the very beginning. Before even I saw you. You were the one who protected the flame in my heart. While others told me to set it ablaze, you made me learn how to keep the flame burning.
You were as beautiful to me as the rising sun. So bright, so clear. You were the epitome of my life. I wanted to live a peaceful life with you, in which my father let's go of his depression. In which your family accepts us. In which we don't have to hide from others. I wanted you to have my surname.
Your words were like the first rain of summer to me. You saved me from quenching my thirst by your words. I have been starved…. starved for so long that I forgot what being hungry for love feels like. Until you came into my life. you healed my heart, handled it as if it's porcelain.
I thought papers were something I would never choose to express myself with. But look at me now. Haha. I don't know why I'm writing it now, but I just feel like, the time’s soon going to be over. And I feel like I will be gone without seeing your face.
Please don't hate me for that.
If I get to spend my life with you I will probably burn this off, but if this letter somehow unfortunately finds you…I want you to know, I gave my best. I gave my very best to save the ones surrounding me. That I fullfilled my duty till the end. So don't feel sad.
I still can't believe you chose to love me. If possible I would like to meet you in another birth, in another universe without demons, where I will be yours, completely yours. You're the best thing that happened to me, y/n. You're just perfect.
But I must say….you’re dumb for choosing a man who bets his life for others, leaving the silver spoon you had in your mouth.
Sadly, our time was limited in this birth. Good bye princess akiko.
~ your kyojuro
The letter fell from your hands. Your lips quivering as you barely contained your tears, which stained the letter.
You just managed a smile at the kids who brought you this letter. He was no more. And you couldn't believe that. He knew you were Akiko not y/n. The truth you weren't able to tell him.
“I'm sorry for making this long. Rengoku san died saving us from a demon, 3 years ago” said tanjiro, tears staining his cheeks. So do the others, barely containing their emotions.
“oh! But i-im glad you all are safe. H-he fulfilled his duties right?”
“Does it hurts?” Tanjiro asked.
“A lot.” And if he wasn't seeing things, he saw rengoku for one second with a silly smile on his face, maybe wondering how to comfort you.
The second he blinked his eyes he was gone. What remained was his letter. Tanjiro handed the photo to you before leaving. He wondered if in another birth he gets to see the both of you reconcile.
He took a deep breath wanting to return to kanao. Maybe he would just ask her to marry him this year. He doesn't want to waste anymore time away from her.
“Where were you?” Asked zenitsu to inosuke, who went missing for a while. They are currently waiting for a train to go back home.
“To buy this.” Inosuke showed a butterfly hair pin decorated with blue crystals. It was beautiful.
“Woah. Who did you buy it for?”
“Aoi.” Tanjiro chuckled at his bluntness, while zenitsu smirked. It's funny how inosuke still gets both of their names incorrect but he never made a mistake in saying aoi’s name correctly. Who knows they might have two weddings…
Now that tanjiro had finally payed off the debt, he wished you happiness as he looked forward to a happier future. He will remember you, not as princess akiko, but as y/n.
“Let's go! I can't wait to see nezuko!!”
“Zenitsu watch out your way!!”
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© strawberrymochin 24 | plagiarism won't be tolerated | comments are reblogs are appreciated | banners are by me |
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musaslullaby · 14 days
Text
I'm sorry
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grid x fem reader
p1 p2 p3 p4
Summary: The race didn't go as planned.
Face: people on Pinterest, Bianca Bustamante and the driver
Warning: Most of the grid has a small weakness for you. It's a series
Masterlist
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Yn.official
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Description: It's Friday, then it's Saturday, Sunday what??
liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris, and other 9384934802
f1lover: The kiss??
vroom: Who wouldn't? ❤️ Like to author
Race: Go girl.
user34: What a shame.
user12: Just a way to get attention.
lewishamilton: If Mr. Dad gives me permission, I'll give you a kiss on the cheek.
❤️ Like to author
Yn.official: Dad???? Plssss.
maxverstappen1: Daniel, say no.
charles_leclerc: Reminder, we have a race today, Daniel.
carlosainz55: Be careful with what you do.
danielricciardo: You have my permission. ❤️ Like to author
Formula: Daniel fears nothing and no one.
one_: I want a dad like Daniel.
Olliebearman: It's been nice knowing you, Daniel.
kimiantonelli: You were a good father. ❤️ Like to author
Yn.official: The best dad in the world.
danielricciardo: You’re exaggerating.
landonorris: Absolutely not.
op81: The McLaren cap?
❤️ Like to author
Yn.official: Nice, right?
landonorris: It looks even better on you. ❤️ Like to author
user32: I don’t understand how drivers are into this girl who has nothing special.
user4: They’ll realize it soon.
lewishamilton
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Description: The kiss
liked by kimiantonelli, Yn.official, and other 49892923898
oscarpiatri: I wish I were Roscoe right now.
kimiantonelli: Me too.
landonorris: She looks beautiful even with sunglasses.
georgerussell63: She looks good in everything. ❤️ Like to author
Love_: How are they so relaxed before a race?
user34: She’s relaxed because she knows she can’t compete with the others.
user3: She can only watch and learn.
user56: The dog doesn’t seem happy to me.
Race: Actually, if you notice, he’s literally melting into the hug.
Formula: He’s perfectly calm, or else Lewis would have stepped in.
charles_leclerc: Where did you get those sunglasses? I want them toooo!
Yn.official: Sorry, but they’re only for cool guys. ❤️ Like to author
carlosainz55: So are you telling me?
Yn.official: Mmm let me think, no. ❤️ Like to author
danielricciardo: That’s my girl. ❤️ Like to author
f1
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Description: During this race, Yn Yln lost control of the car and crashed into the barrier. Fortunately, we know she's okay, but there's a lot of disappointment.
liked by charles_leclerc, lqndonorris, and other 98989898
f1lover: Don’t worry Yn, you did great anyway.
Race: Guys, let’s remember she’s new to F1.
Vroom: We need to wait for the interviews to know more.
One_: Did you see her face when she got out of the car?
Ynmyqueen: Yes, she looked so sad, she had tears in her eyes.
Ynmylife: Yn, remember you’re amazing, don’t get discouraged.
OllieYn: Keep fighting.
user45: This is what happens when you flirt with drivers instead of training.
user6: Go back to F2, Yn.
user12: She shouldn’t even be racing anymore.
user78: I wouldn’t blame them if they fired her.
user9: She would deserve it.
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Yn.official
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Description: Guys, I’m really, really sorry. I promise I’ll do better next race.
liked by Olliebearman, oscarpiastri, and other 723672376
landonorris: Please don’t cry.
oscarpiatri: It happens to everyone to lose control of the car.
charles_leclerc: You made a mistake, and it’s human to make them. Don’t worry.
georgerussell63: Don’t be so hard on yourself.
kimiantonelli: Yn, seriously, it’s all okay.
Olliebearman: Haas didn’t blame you, so you don’t need to worry.
f1love: Yn, we love you.
Race: You won’t lose your job.
Vroom: Don’t apologize, everything’s fine.
danielricciardo: Sweetheart, don’t keep watching the crash video on repeat, it won’t change anything.
lewishamilton: If you need anything, your parents are always here.
user0: Please, stop pretending to be sorry.
user8: Yeah, now she has to play the victim, so she’s crying on Instagram.
user78: Yn, we don’t want to hate you, but you don’t do anything to make us love you.
user23: Guys, poor thing, let her pretend a little longer.
user5: Disgusting.
landonorris
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Description: I'm going to cheer Yn up.
liked by georgerussell63, carlossainz55, and other 27727288
charles_leclerc: Give her lots of hugs from us.
❤️ Like to author
oscarpiastri: I wish I were there with you. ❤️ Like to author
carlossainz55: Cabron, do what we can’t. ❤️ Like to author
danielricciardo: I’ll be there soon. ❤️ Like to author
landonorris: She won’t admit it, but she wants you there.
maxverstappen1: I swear, if you make her cry even more, you won’t make it to tomorrow.
landonorris: Don’t worry, I’m not that bad.
georgerussell63: But your sense of humor is awful.
landonorris: No, it’s not.
Olliebearman: Are we sure?
kimiantonelli: Absolutely sure?
formulaone: What a sweet thing.
one_: Norris is such a sweet guy.
Race: Such a good guy.
Vroom: Please, Yn, don’t cry.
1_11: I’m sure the second photo wasn’t meant to be posted by Yn.
user54: Yeah, sure, all just for views.
user6: Let her cry.
user9: It’s a fact, she did awful in the race.
Yn.official
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Description: The little girl needed her father.
liked by yourcousin,danielricciardo , and other 88238239
comments restricted
danielricciardo: The father will always be by his little girl’s side.
❤️ Like to author
Yn.official: I don’t know what I’d do without you.
danielricciardo: You probably wouldn’t have eaten those delicious desserts. ❤️ Like to author
landonorris: Which you definitely didn’t make yourself.
danielricciardo: Shut up, Lando.
yourcousin: Yn, don’t get discouraged. Being a woman on the grid isn’t easy, but you shouldn’t beat yourself up for your mistakes.
❤️ Like to author
Yn.official: Thank you, I love you.
yourcousin: I love you too, darling. ❤️ Like to author
kimiantonelli: Are you feeling better now, Yn?
❤️ Like to author
Yn.official: Yes, thank you all so much.
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Tag list
@barcelonaloverf1life @exotic-iris13
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martinluvrr · 3 months
Text
NUMBER ONE | KATE MARTIN ( III )
⋅˚₊‧ kate martin x actress!reader
⋅˚₊‧ summary: here we are again, just like the beginning.
⋅˚₊‧ part two || final part || nav
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"Cut, thank you everybody" the director yelled out. You let out a sigh of relief, finally this dreadful week was over and you had some free time. After the chaotic start of the week that was caused by literally a media circus, you knew that this was going to be a tough 7 days.
Sometimes, you wished you didn't go to that audition. Of course you were grateful, this was a life people would kill for, but with the good side came the brutal one. After the picture and the allegations came out, your publicist went nuts, she wen even more nuts when you said to her "I don't want to respond". Apparently not responding, is responding, and while she tried many times to convince you, you didn't budge.
Deuxmoi. Fucking deuxmoi.
While you contemplated if you should send hate messages to the site with your finsta ( your publicist somehow found out and made you promise not to ), Kate was the calm during the storm.
The night of the game, she had texted you in regards of the plans, and you sadly rain checked. While you though she would stop texting after that, she didn't, and neither did you. Her name was still saved as 6 years ago, back then , you didn't have the strength to delete it, just in case.
While the comments, the sly remarks, the articles, the posts made the time draining, Kate was your fuel. She was literally recharging you, it seemed like you guys were back like you were once, but still you didn't want to get your hopes up.
"Bye darlin'" a british accent pulled you out of your thoughts, Emma, your co star smiled sweetly at you from your dressing room doorway. You smiled at her and said your goodbyes as well. While the media was raging, the cast and crew made the week peaceful for you, what was a week ago, a funny, teasing, loud cast turned into a supportive, calm, quiet one. And of course, you knew why. You have been shooting with this people for the past 2 years, and whether you liked it or not, they knew you. and when Matt saw your face on Tuesday, news and threats spread around if anyone asked anything regarding the incident. Y/n absolutely adored them.
As you walked out of the set studio, only two things were on your mind, your bed and chinese food. When opening the door, you looked up and went to a halt. There she stood, blonde, 5'11, in an all black fit an aces hoodie on, and her car behind her. In all her glory.
"What the hell are you doing here?" You asked, your mouth hanging open. She stood straight ,a wide grin forming on her.
"you owe me a date"
"you can't be serious" you let out a laugh.
"dead ass. get in" she gestured to her car, while opening the passenger door. You still remained in your previous positions, your body frozen,like it couldn't believe she was actually here.
"Kate"
"Y/n" she replied back " what's the problem?"
"Are you sure you want this...again?" you asked, suddenly looking at the ground, your insecurity was showing. You still didn't know if you and Kate were happening again, and you knew that if you lost her again, you couldn't survive that.
"Never been more sure in my life" She replied sweetly "Now get in"
"But i look like Adam Sandler" you said, an embarrasing smile on your face .
"I don't care, now please stop making excuses and get in the car" Kate said. You sighed as you made your way to her car, before placing a kiss on her cheek and getting in.
The way to your blind destination, that you begged Kate to tell you, but immune to your charm , she didn't give a single hint. Kates hand was placed on your thigh. After teasing you about your 'adam sandler' outfit, we finally arrived in a parking lot, of what looked likd, a closed casino/hotel.
As you made your way to the elevator, suddenly the air became tense. When you looked up at her, she was already looking back at you, you could feel your face heating up, a small smile appeared on her face, and a second later you mirrored her. Just as y/n and Kates faces were close, the elevator door opened and a bell was heard.
Just as you were about to question her about the empty hallway, you halted when you saw her open the rooftop door, stairs coming down, she took your hand and helped you climb. When you were both on the roof, you took a moment to admire the view, all of the las vegas was before you, it looked majestic.
"The view...so beautiful" you whispered, still in a daze of shock.
"yeah the most" She whispered back, when you glanced back at her, you realized she was talking about you. When you took a look behind her, you saw a chinese logo. chinese food.
"I'm in love" You moaned, taking a bite of the dumpling. You heard Kate let out a laugh, both of you were dangling your feet out in the corner of the rooftop. You felt like a teenager again. Her and you were back to talking about the past, it felt liked you guys were recapping, when the breakup came up, both became hesitant.
"Where did we go wrong?" You heard her question.
"We didn't go wrong, we just went our separate ways"
"I watched suits, when i heard"
"Really?"
"Yeah, watched the whole season, you were great, just like i knew you were"
Kate was always supportive of your dreams, not that everybody else wasn't, but Kate was the only one you admitted your dream to.
"You were also"
"What?" shock, surprised.
"I watched you" you shamelessly admitted
"You did? no way"
"Yes way, i'm your biggest fan" You said, taking a bite out of the noodles. Kate laughed when you accidentally spilled some, suddenly nothing was tense, it was back to normal.
When you both finished your food, you hinted that you should return home because of the 7am shoot you had in the morning, Kate insisted you guys stay for another 30 minutes. And it was definitely worth it, after 15 minutes, a firework erupted. and then another, and another after that, and then 10 after that, they didn't stop for another 10 minutes.
Just as you convinced yourself to not expect anything, and this was still new, she had set this up. When you looked up at Kate and looked down at her lips, one thing was on your mind, and you weren't holding back as you pulled Kate towards you and connected your lips to hers.
As you opened your eyes, sunlight immediately made you close them back, as a groan escaped you and you stirred to get away, two hands locked on your waist held you back. Kate. When you straightened your back, you felt a kiss behind your neck. "Good morning" you heard her raspy voice say.
you didn't make it to your 7am shoot.
thank you for reading pt 3 <3333333 tune in for pt 4 soon!!!!
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damn-stark · 2 months
Text
Chapter 14 Autumn sadness
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Chapter 14 of Moonlight
A/N- Aemond stop being horny for your wife challenge (Impossible)
Warning- Swearing, talks of pregnancy, Aegon!, mentions of sexual harassment, angst, fluff, SPOILERS, LONG CHAPTER.
Pairing- Aemond Targaryen x Velaryon!fem-reader, Cregan Stark x Velaryon!fem-reader
Episode- 2x04
(If you want to be tagged let me know)
————
“Here again?” You query while you shade your eyes from the luminous sun starting to peek over the roof of the Dragonpit. “Another rendezvous?” You smile.
Aemond looks away from Aerion in his arms and shakes his head. “No, it’s something else.”
You squint your eyes and probe for more. “Like?”
Before Aemond can answer a Kingsguard shouting catches your attention. “Stand back!”
You look over and notice some Smallfolk trying to approach the stairs in an attempt to reach you. “Princess!”
“Princess!”
“Over here!”
Unlike before this time the calls aren’t born from admiration and excitement, you can hear the desperation in their voice as they try and steal your attention. You can see the plea for help in their eyes, the helplessness, and the hunger.
“Bring us some food, please!”
Your help wasn’t widespread, you would feed and give money to those few people you came across. You were never allowed to do more than that, but your charity is well known now that they’re looking for any kind of help. Anything that can feed their growling stomachs, and needing children.
“<I told you,” Aemond remarks in High Valyrian. “Feed one stray dog and others won’t fail to follow to beg too.>”
You glance at him with a disturbed look before you take a look at all the people you can’t help when they need you the most. You have money, but what good is that when there’s hardly any food for them to buy? All you can do is offer them an apologetic look before you ignore them and drive your attention to this early morning adventure Aemond has yet to explain.
“So are you going to tell me why we’re here?” You pressure him to fill your curiosity.
Yet he just smirks at you, making you roll your eyes and focus on the building holding sacred power just under its surface.
Which is pretty unbelievable! These powerful dragons your family can ride, that you can use to burn down towns and people to ash are kept in chains under a stone building that they can easily destroy, or that can also easily be their death.
It’s crazy to think about, but it’s true isn't it? If your mother decided to come in secret with all the dragons at her side they could attack the Dragonpit, and the rubble could be the dragon's death. Your dragon's death…
Thinking of Astraea dying is worse than thinking of someone you love dying. You’ve known your dragon since you were a babe, literally, she hatched when you were only a few months old, and you haven't been apart a moment since then. She's your soulmate. Losing her would be like losing yourself.
But your mother wouldn’t be so desperate as to attack the Dragonpit and kill the power of your house, they’re sacred, powerful, and majestic. Better than any army of men…
“I wish we had more family to ride dragons,” you express what springs to mind.
“What do you mean?” Aemond quickly follows up on your comment.
“Just that,” you counter with growing excitement as this idea keeps unfurling. “If we had more family we could trust, they could ride the other dragons that reside at Dragonstone. All who had riders in the past.”
Aemond gives you all his attention as his interest is completely stolen by what you’re trying to get at.
“There’s Vermithor,” you list the dragons that live in Dragonstone, on your fingers. “Silverwing, and…my father's dragon, Seasmoke.”
Thoughts turn behind Aemond’s eye before it all seems to come to a halt as he comes up with a conclusion. “We don’t need the other dragons, we have Vhagar.”
You scoff and get closer to him to argue for a sole worry, his safety. “Yes, but Vhagar and Sunfyre alone won’t win against my mother's dragons. They have 5 to your two, or three if you count me,” you add.
“There’s Tessarion,” he brings up the forgotten son, making you quickly brush him off.
“Still not enough, he’s young—Do you want to know what Daemon wanted to do when he found out Aegon was crowned?” You share with a bit of desperation, which is why you don’t let him answer. “He wanted to attack King’s Landing with all the dragons. Tell me if Vhagar would’ve survived that?”
Aemond looks ahead and answers with silence because he knows you’re right. He doesn’t want to admit that though, so instead he deflects with a question that he’s been wondering about since the war started. “Would you have attacked me with them?”
There’s nothing to think about, you know this answer as clear as day. “No,” you admit confidently. “I wasn’t mad at you then. I told you…I missed you.”
Aemond’s guard falls, and his eye falls on Aerion before he looks back at you with his eye reflecting the sun's beams peeking over the roof.
“You know,” you finally have a chance to admit something you haven’t talked about, and something he hasn’t asked out of fear of what you’d say? Who knows.
“If I knew what Daemon wanted to do I…don’t think I would have let him go through with it. Even if I thought I hated you at the time.” You swallow thickly and a breath escapes past his lips, making him collect himself to finally dig into this matter that has been running in his head.
“Where were you?” He asks.
You sigh and briefly steal a glance at the approaching entrance. “We were in the North,” you say quietly. “When we arrived at Dragonstone Daemon was not there anymore. I didn’t even know about his plan until the next day after I returned from Driftmark. And when I did find out,” you pause and sigh deeply before you meet his curious eye as he waits for more.
“Before Jacaerys could finish telling me what actually happened I was struck with fear…my world went dark when I thought you were killed,” you admit and feel yourself grow flustered as he keeps his eye on you. “And then when Jacaerys finished telling me the news I was horrified. You believe me right? I would never have let Daemon kill Jaehaerys.”
Panicked tears well in your eyes and he quickly assures you.
“I know.”
You nod in comprehension and breathe out that slight panic that just rattled you. “Anyway,” you continue with what you started with. “I couldn’t fathom you being killed, so it’s lucky that you were gone,” you feign a laugh. “I mean I’m not glad where you were, but it saved you so.”
Aemond comes to a stop, and you climb to the top before you stop and face him with a quizzical brow.
“I was not at the brothel because I sought lust,” he says again to get it through your mind and heart, but this time he adds something else that makes your heart skip a beat. “I did not think you would return home, I needed to talk to someone.”
A smile slowly spreads on your lips and you climb down to be in front of him before you assure him of one thing. “We would have found our way to each other eventually. I believe that. We’re one heart, one soul, one flesh. We literally drank each other's blood.”
He scoffs softly and you grin, making bliss glimmer in his eye and pull a soft smile to his own lips before he reaches over to cup your cheek and gently stroke your flesh.
You swoon at the touch and can’t help but reach over to grab his hand and hold his warmth.
There’s so much both of you can say on the aspect, you can reminisce about the past when getting married was a prospect that excited you both, and that you wanted more than anything. You could admit that fear is something you don’t feel when he’s close, but it is something he does feel because of the love he harbors for you. Yet neither of you says anything.
Your love is shared through the windows of your soul, right there on top of the steps, under the soft morning sky, with your son as a witness. Actually, he’s the one who interrupts the moment when he notices you just a hair's breadth away by reaching for your cheek with his little hand to try and grab you the same way Aemond was grabbing you.
When Aemond and you notice, you both share a laugh.
“<Beautiful, huh?>” Aemond directs at Aerion with a proud smile, making you giggle before you fall by Aemond’s side and hook your arm around his.
“Now,” you move this moment along by making him continue forward, and by moving on with this conversation. “Will you tell me why we’re here with our son?”
The corner of his lips tug up and he looks at you with a mischievous look that intrigues you.
“Spill,” you encourage him.
“Shrykos, the dragon egg chosen for Jaehaerys hatched the other day,” Aemond reveals, making your lips part with surprise—“I wanted to bring Aerion in hopes they will bond.”
You blink in surprise, but that quickly transforms into nothing but worry that knits your eyebrows and pushes you to share your concern. “But won’t Aegon be mad that you’re trying to bond Aerion to Shrykos?”
Aemond scoffs. “Why should he?” He retorts as walks you inside the dimmed arena. “Shrykos is free to claim now. It doesn’t belong to him.”
Is that what he said about Vhagar too?
“Hm, I suppose you’re right, but Aerion is still a babe,” you express more building-up worry. “He can’t defend himself if it doesn’t work.”
“I will have my blade ready,” Aemond makes sure to quickly assure you, but nothing he says actually gets rid of that feeling weighing down on you. Especially not when you reach the hall where the hatchlings and eggs are kept. It starts to feel like you’re lacking fresh air to breathe.
If anything happens to Aerion you’ll go mad.
“Aemond,” you try to express your worry, but he turns to assure you again.
“It will be fine, the keepers are here, and I have my hand on my pommel. I won’t let anything happen to our son.”
You hold his gaze to take more of that reassurance you need before you approach the stone table where Aemond sits Aerion, and where they have Shrykos’ carrier.
“<Since the one trying to bond is a babe, there won’t be commands, we will have to trust they communicate from within, the way you also communicate with your dragons.>” One of the keepers explains, making you clench your fists before you press your hands on the table to be ready to snatch Aerion if it all goes wrong.
“<Ready?>” The second keeper asks and looks between Aemond and you, making you and Aemond share a short speechless look before he answers with a nod.
The keeper then unties the crate's latch and lets a small swamp-green hatchling slowly crawl out of the darkness of her crate.
At first, it seems too timid to fully leave its crate, it stands there and tilts its little green head while her orange eyes focus on Aerion directly ahead of him.
Aemond and you share a curious look that's also mixed with worry that steals more of your breaths, and triggers your heart to race; causing the blood in your veins to pump rapidly, whilst also making your hands tremble.
Aemond notices your fear taking over, he senses it too because he feels concerned too, so he reaches over and wraps his hand around yours, letting a deep breath escape through your nose, and making your racing heart find some ease.
Yet not enough, it still thumps as you watch the hatchling completely leave her crate with her eyes locked on Aerion. All the while your babe glances over at you with no idea what’s going on; he doesn’t seem to be scared, he just steals a glimpse at Aemond and you before he returns his attention to the dragon and tries to reach for it.
Shrykos seems curious by Aerion’s movements so she crawls forward without that initial timidness that held her back before. She comes to a stop in front of Aerion and tilts her head to the side to look at him.
Aemond lets your hand go and uses both hands to hold his blade's handle and pull half of it out of his sheath. You lift your hands off the table and leave them out to be ready.
Aerion coos and leans forward to try and get a hold of the dragon, seeming to attract Shrykos to Aerion’s legs. That's when the babe finally brushes his little fingers over the dragon's head and smiles.
Shrykos blinks and her pupils seem to dilate before she coos back and suddenly climbs on Aerion to wrap itself around his shoulders and nuzzle her head against his cheek, making Aerion squeal.
You gasp and turn to look at Aemond at the same time he turns to look at you. Nothing is shared at first, but when you grasp that Aerion bonded with Shrykos you both share a proud smile.
“<It's done,” one of the keepers confirms what you concluded. “They are now bonded.>”
All the tension escapes you and you can’t help but grin and hug Aemond’s arm before he reaches over and takes Aerion in his arms with a proud grin on his long face.
“Good job, my boy,” you coo at Aerion as you stroke his cheek, but the boy is too focused on his dragon to pay any attention to you.
“Now no one will look down on you, my boy,” Aemond whispers to Aerion before he presses a kiss on the side of his head.
Your gaze drifts to look at Aemond as you take in what he said, as you detect the hurt in his voice brought by his childhood trauma when he was dragonless and picked on for that reason alone.
“We would never have let that happen if this hadn’t worked,” you tell Aerion whilst you also reassure Aemond. “And if they tried I would have protected you like I protected your father.”
Aemond hums and leans over to press a kiss on the top of your head.
“What time is the council meeting?” You ask him as you grab his arm.
“Not until noon,” he says. “Why?”
You offer him a mischievous smile and even if you know that he takes his responsibilities seriously and that the war outside this city's gates brings a tension within the Red Keep that takes a grip around everyone's throats, what’s wrong with a little escape? What’s wrong with getting carried away in the joy and pride that is brought by Aerion bonding with a dragon?
You aren’t making him abandon his responsibilities, you’re just asking for a little escape. And surprisingly he accepts your proposal and lets you take Astraea out so you both can mount your dragons and take them to the skies with Shrykos mounted on Aemond’s shoulder since her wings are still delicate to fly long distances, and she wants to be close to Aerion, who is strapped to Aemond’s chest.
It’s true, perhaps being on dragonback out of enjoyment is insensitive, tragedy has struck the kingdoms and you are royalty. Perhaps it’s also reckless considering the blockade that doesn’t stand too far away, and maybe it’s also a bit irresponsible. There are other moments and places to take time for yourselves where there aren’t millions of desperate souls watching, but neither Aemond nor you care. What other people might think doesn’t cross your mind.
All that exists is each other upon the skies; feeling the cold sea water splash over your face as Astraea grazes the tip of her wing in the water as she flies within Vhagar’s shadow. After a moment she straightens out and flaps her wings to fly forward. When she's past Vhagar, Astraea tilts up before she spins upward to reach Vhagar’s level and cut her off.
You chuckle and it's soon carried away by the rushing breeze, but your beaming smile is something that can’t be blown away, just like the bliss that completely fills your heart. It’s actually a contagious thing, your bliss. It’s a wonder that heightens Aemond’s own happiness the moment you beam at him over your shoulder.
Now he isn’t as expressive as you, that’s something that’s always been true. You have always been the one that shines the most and it’s something that never bugged him, not then and not now. He does get bothered when other people stare too long in awe at you, but that’s only because they might try taking you away from him, that’s it. He’d never try and diminish your light, and he’s glad it hasn’t snuffed out after what he did.
He fears that this war will diminish you, but even then that wouldn’t matter, he’d still look at you with the same admiration. He’d just have to work to revive that divine light; even if his presence alone is a spark of life itself. As long as you have him close, as long as he’s alive, that luminous light that he sees but you don’t, will never die.
Doesn’t he know that he’s like the moon and stars that you cherish with your heart? He’s cool like the moon in the night sky. And like the moon and the stars, it’s impossible not to admire and love him when he’s not looking or even when his attention is focused on you, like now. He looks at you with that cool blue eye that glimmers under the sun's kiss, and you just get lost on his face not tense with trying to look intimidating; he's smiling softly without stress, his long hair is flowing back, and he’s nothing but playful in this stolen moment as you fly next to each other in understanding that whoever lands on the empty patch of land first is the winner.
However, the winner is an easy guess. It’s you and Astraea. He may have cheated by taking a shortcut, but Astraea is faster since she isn’t as old or gigantic.
Your dragon actually ends up swooping around Vhagar and Aemond, and neither of you loses eye contact, causing a tense need for each other to burn hot and only escalate when you’re on the ground with your back pressed against his chest, his lips brushing over your ear, his breaths unfurling over the goosebumps on your skin, and his hand over yours as he shows you how to practice a certain action.
“Okay, I got it. Let me do it,” you whisper and slide your feet back to your usual fighting stance; something which makes him push your feet back to the way he’s been teaching you.
“Why do you keep standing like that?” He queries.
You glance down at your stance and realize that it’s the way Cregan stands with his sword.
“When you watch different fights you pick up on different things,” you throw out as an excuse which is actually kind of true. There’s been so many others you have taken notes on so you have grasped different techniques.
“I can still kick your ass,” you tease and he huffs softly, so you show off by swiftly managing to push him back with your elbow. You then swiftly spin around and flip the sword in your hand to point the tip to his throat. In the exact same way, you saw him do it once.
“Your own move on you, my love,” you taunt with a wink.
Aemond’s eye falls on the sword before he meets your gaze and can’t help but smirk.
“You caught me off guard,” he points out, making you snort and nod.
“That’s the trick to winning isn’t it?” You tease him and start to lower the sword, leaving him the opportunity to lunge forward and capture your wrist to twist you around and yank you against him with your back pressed against his chest again.
“No fair,” you complain in a whisper as he slides his hand down to cup your hand and press it gently so you can let his sword go and be left unarmed.
“That was not right,” you add and let out a punctured breath as he drags his other hand around your torso, letting his fingers brush over the flesh your gown leaves exposed.
“I really like this gown,” he whispers against the shell of your ear and feels his way all over your body covered by the sea-green gown you wear, making you shiver and draw in the same deep breath he stole.
“You’re distracting me,” you don’t actually mean a word you say, you want him to keep touching you with those firm yet gentle touches that light your skin on fire.
“A warrior doesn’t get distracted,” he rebuttals.
You laugh breathlessly and tilt your head to the side to let his lips touch your cheek because you’re starting to ache for his mouth to be on yours, but don’t want to move away from his touch.
“This is not fair,” you keep saying and he lowers his head to press his nose against your neck and take in a deep breath of your sweet scent.
“I hate when you do that,” you murmur without actual meaning and bring one hand down to wrap it around the hand he has around you and slide it down to your hips, causing him to grip onto you with a mischievous grin.
“Aemond,” you coo out and turn your head, making your lips touch and driving you to insanity. You can’t hold back anymore, you turn around to meet his hungry eyes before you glance at his inviting lips and indulge your desire for a heated moment. You don't linger too long, you pull back rather quickly, leaving a string of saliva that connects you both until he leans in and presses a gentle peck on your lips.
“You remember what I have to do today,” he brings up.
You sigh and nod stiffly. “Yes,” you say back and pull back to meet his gaze. “I was hoping I could leave Astraea out to just protect the city while you and Vhagar are gone. I will feel better knowing she’s out on the ready.”
Aemond holds your gaze and you plead speechlessly and hope desperately.
“In truth, I would feel better if she was out too,” he says, letting you let out a relieved sigh. “I will tell Aegon, but leave her out regardless.”
Now you can send your mother her warning without risking you or anyone else.
No one will keep track of Astraea's whereabouts, and if they ask where she is you will say she’s hunting for her meal. She likes to eat fish after all.
“Thank you,” you tell him with a sweet smile.
He hums and presses a kiss on your cheek before you part away, and both speechlessly decide that you should head back to the Red Keep now.
Nevertheless, when you go to Aerion you find him asleep with his arm around Shrykos neck as she too is lost in deep slumber.
“Oh my,” you muse and touch your heart as it completely melts inside you at such a precious sight. “Look, Aemond.”
Said man sheaths his sword that was left on the ground and then walks to you. When he’s behind you also watching what you’re watching, you look back at him with a wobbly smile and happy tears in your eyes, catching him smile in awe and pride because now he doesn’t have to worry about his son getting bullied the same way he was because he didn’t have a dragon.
——
*LATER*
It’s never hard being quiet when you’re sneaking through the secret tunnels. You always make sure to take your shoes off so the heels don’t reveal your presence, while any jewelry that dangles and makes noise is tucked away. That’s easy to control, but natural occurrences like coughing or sneezing are always an aspect that terrifies you.
You'd be caught right away and there would be no excuse that could save you from any consequences.
It’s not to say you feel any urge to cough or sneeze, but it crosses your mind as you approach the window and listen to the council meeting.
“Fuck you,” is the first thing you hear Aegon spat. Graceful. “I told you we should’ve sent our dragons. And now look what’s happened. Daemon, of all people, has taken Harrenhal.”
Does he mean that in a good or bad way? Because if it’s bad then maybe he needs to really reveulate his uncle's capabilities. Not to toot Daemon's horn, but he did win the battle at the Stepstones, he knows more about war than Aegon does. It should not be surprising that Daemon took Harrenhal. He should be surprised that he has no army to defend his stance there.
“I give you a job, and now you just sit there,” Aegon’s voice rises with his frustration. “It's your fucking castle!”
“Well, that castle is more crippled than I am, Your Grace,” you hear Lord Larys defend himself, making Aegon scoff— “It’s like to drive Daemon to madness as he attempts to make use of it. It is beyond his faculties. It’s also penniless,” he adds to try and reassure Aegon. “As I happily control all of its gold. So, as Harrenhal saps Daemon’s resolve, the false Queen remains trapped on her Island and Ser Criston continues felling castles in the Crownlands.”
“Wh—” Aegon stammers whilst you hear his feet stomp about the room. “I need to be informed of these things if I’m to make informed rulings. I will not be made to look a fool in front of my allies and enemies.”
“Harrenhal must wait,” Aemond interjects, causing a breath to escape past your lips. “Ser Criston is marching on Rook’s Rest.”
So he’s finally telling them.
“Rook’s Rest—a pathetic prize,” Aegon stammers. “I gave no such command—”
“The castle is small,” Aemond cuts Aegon off as you hear a chair creak before you recognize your husband's footsteps strike the floor. “Weakly defended and Lord Staunton sits on Rhaenyra’s council. After Cole smashes it, we’ll have Dragonstone effectively cut off by land. This war will not be won with dragons alone but with dragons flying behind armies of men.”
And that is why Aemond and Ser Criston have been secretly planning because Aemond is obviously the most strategic. Sure, his plans don’t favor your family, but you can still be proud that you married someone smart right?
“No! Have him turn about,” Aegon wastes his breath. “I want Harrenhal back.”
Aemond’s footsteps once again hit the ground and you imagine he’s returning to his seat while he responds. “Cole is already preparing his attack.”
Which is why after Aemond leaves you have to send word to your mother.
“Uh, how-how do you know this?” Aegon demands to know in a more perplexed way than upset.
“He sent word to me,” Aemond reveals half the truth as you hear him sit back down.
“To you?” Aegon asks, and you can’t help but detect a bit of hurt. “The two of you have been…plotting…without my authority?”
A second of silence passes before you hear Aemond fill the hall in Valyrian. “<You had more pressing matters to attend to. Such as holding court, choosing your sobriquet, and naming imbecilic lickspittles to our Kingsguard.>”
You can’t help but smirk at Aemond’s counter, knowing damn well that Aegon is only understanding part of that.
“Mm,” Aemond hums before he goes on as if trying to make Aegon look a fool. “<Do you have a wiser strategy, my King?>”
Oh, that rolls off his tongue so smoothly that it makes you tingle.
<If so, you should voice it to your council. We all wait your answer,>” Aemond finishes saying, making that smirk on your own face deepen, while a pride grows within you and grows exponentially as Aegon takes a moment to answer.
“<I can have to…” he responds in High Valyrian hesitantly. “Make a…war?>”
You cover your mouth to stifle your laugh.
Please! His own daughter probably knows more Valyrian than he does!
What a joke.
“Mm,” Aemond hums back, causing people around the table to clear their throats in response to Aegon’s failed attempt.
“Harrenhal is a useful morass,” Aemond continues in the common tongue. “It will keep Daemon well-occupied while we strengthen our host and weaken Rhaenyra’s support on the mainland. We will deal with it in the Riverlands in time. But right now. Rook’s Rest is an easy target and a worthy effort. Don't you agree, my King?”
You lean your ear towards the window and wait for him to agree. What else can he say? He had no other plan up his sleeve that could actually rebuttal Aemond’s plan, so all he can do is agree to that plan, and Aemond’s plan to go with Vhagar too.
Maybe this will teach him to be more strategic so he doesn’t get made a fool again, which is a bit pitiful, you do admit. If he were anyone else you would feel bad that his brother keeps upstaging him and planning behind his back, but he’s Aegon. You don’t feel pity or remorse, especially not after the way he treated Aemond not long ago in that brothel. Just like your husband, you relish in his torment.
If only you could witness more, yet Aemond is left satisfied and you depart from the shadows to return to your chambers before the meeting is done and Aemond accidentally discovers you.
And leaving at the time you did ends up being a lucky choice because the moment you sit down with your book, and pretend that's what you were doing, Aemond walks in.
“My love,” he greets and marches over to grab his sword right away before he finds his way to you on the ground keeping Aerion company.
“How was it?” You pretend to be clueless.
“As you would expect,” Aemond shares and crouches down to give Aerion some attention as the boy spends time on his tummy. “Aegon is fruitless when it comes to war, he’s bloodthirsty, thinking boldness is the better option. He’ll have all our dragons killed if we act out his plans.”
You close the book and tilt your head up to look at him. “Which is why it’s a good thing you sit at his table. How did he take the news?”
Aemond scoffs and a sly smirk plays on his lips. “What do you think?”
You sigh and guess. “Whiny and offended.”
Aemond nods before he snickers. “He tried speaking Valyrian, but he butchered it. He couldn’t even form a sentence.”
You laugh softly, but not as much as you would want knowing the actual context. Then again not like it matters because your amusement is quickly killed because you know you can’t escape the inevitable.
“Will you stay for dinner at least?” You try to make him linger behind.
Aemond lifts his eye off Aerion and catches the gloss in your eye that accompanies your speechless pleas, so he looks back at his son and gives you his answer. “I have indulged in my pleasures today. Rhaenyra might have already heard about our approach and may attack soon, I cannot risk leaving Cole defenseless.”
Your eyes flicker down and you sigh deeply with worry, pulling Aemond to his feet, and attaining his gaze that attracts you to look up and meet his gaze before you listen to your impulse and follow him up.
“I will return,” he reassures the worry creasing a frown on your features. “Sooner than you think.”
You close the empty space left between you and gently place your hands on his chest before you slowly trail them up his shoulders and bring them to a stop on his jaw, noting his armorless body left vulnerable to any deadly attack.
“I wish you would armor,” you express your concern.
Aemond’s gaze hardens and he grabs your elbow to remark. “Do you doubt me? Why is it that you never seem to trust my capabilities? I am met with doubt every time.”
Your eyebrows pinch together and your eyes harden as you’re confused by this outburst, but just as you want to argue, your anger fades when you realize that he doesn’t really understand where your doubt is coming from. So you sigh softly and look at him with a softening gaze that fills with admiration, and brings a teasing smile to your face.
“No matter how many times I tell you, you still don’t understand,” you quip and bring your hand down to smack his shoulder. “You may be smart with war plans, but there is something you do not seem to understand.” You scoff and your smile widens as your eyes perk up with bliss. “I do not doubt your skill Aemond, not on dragonback and not with a sword, I worry. It’s concern that I share because I love you.”
Aemond holds your gaze for a moment before he looks down as he loses that hardened demeanor brought by self-defense, and instead grows flustered.
“I do not wish to have your corpse returned to me,” you continue softly and try to find his eyes. “Vhagar may be the biggest dragon, she may have more battle experience than any other dragon, but she nor you are invincible. It takes one arrow, Aemond, raging fire, or a lucky bite from the other dragon's jaw and I am left a widow. Do you understand that?” You push your love into his heart, making him express nothing but love and awe in return as he finally lets you find his gaze.
“I just would feel more comforted if I knew something protected your face and your body. That’s all.” You say and slide your hand up to cup his cheek.
This time Aemond moves his hand up to meet yours so you can keep it pressed against his cheek and he can take in all the comfort you offer, while also making sure to stroke your knuckles with his thumb.
“I will be careful,” he assures you. “I won’t fall today. Nor tomorrow for that matter.”
You scoff in amusement and pull his face closer to you. “I need you to come back,” you express what torments your heart. “To me. I…can’t do this without you.”
Aemond’s breath catches and after a second he drags his hand up your arm while also raising the other one to grab your face with both and reassure you sweetly. “I will be well protected with Vhagar, I will return. I will be okay and I do not need armor to assure me of that. I will come back.”
Your breath trembles and you nod softly before you lean in and share your love with a deep kiss you linger in to keep him with you a bit longer, while also hoping that a deep kiss will convince him to stay. Yet he begins to part away.
But before your lips can be greeted with a cold abandonment he takes you in for a second kiss that’s shorter, but surpasses the passion that already fueled your first kiss.
Unfortunately, there’s no third indulgence, you do stay close and press your forehead against his to linger in each other's presence for a moment longer. Not letting anything penetrate this moment in time where all that exists is each other, your intertwined hearts, and your interconnected souls.
“I love you,” you break the silence after a while and caress his cheeks.
Aemond presses a kiss on the heel of your hand and whispers back. “I love you too. Come see me off?”
You scoff at the ridiculousness of his question. “Of course.”
After getting the last things he needs, and after bidding goodbye to Aerion, you walk with him all the way to the last gate, but no further because he doesn’t want you returning to the Red Keep alone.
“Astraea is allowed to roam the skies as freely as she wants while Vhagar and I are gone,” Aemond lets you know and unknowingly connects the missing link you had to help your mother. “If you mount her, don't approach the blockade or do anything reckless.”
“Reckless?” You feign innocence and touch your chest. “Me? Never.”
His lips tug to a smile before he goes serious and presses that. “I am being serious.”
You offer him an assuring nod and whisper. “I know. I will stay out of trouble.”
He hums and before he can leave, you reach for your neck to take off your necklace that holds the sigil of both of your houses, Velaryon and Targaryen. “I do want this back, it’s my favorite,” you say and grab his hand to give him your pendant. “For luck.”
“Your favor?” He teases with a smug smile.
You hum timidly and watch him snatch your hand before all he has is your haunting touches, and slowly brings it up to his thin pink lips to press a gentle kiss on your knuckles, causing your heart to skip a beat and a giggle to escape past your lips.
“Everything will be fine,” he adds in his soft voice that works like a trance. It keeps you under its spell now, but you know later it will wear off and your concern will drown you again.
“<Be careful,>” you tell him one more time, but this time you pass him a confident look also oozing with pride.
Aemond steals one more touch from your warm cheeks before leaning in and pressing his forehead against yours to steal one last sweet moment before he steps back and stands tall to show off the intimidating persona he’s built over the years, but never scares you. You see his confidence and his determination, but he does not intimidate you.
“<Goodbye, my love.>” He bids.
You offer him a last smile and whisper back so only he can hear. “Goodbye.”
You wave at him and linger where he left you behind to watch him get further and further away until not even his long shiny silver-white hair is visible. Now when you're sure that he won’t walk back for something he forgot you turn to head back inside, but the moment you do face the Redkeep, you catch Aegon looking out one of the windows of a high tower.
His eyes are unmistakably on you, letting you know he saw your last goodbye with his brother.
Was it with envy? Annoyance? Anger?
You don’t know, you can’t see the expression that paints his features from where you stand. Besides, when your eyes meet he turns away and abandons the window, letting you head inside.
At first, you walk at a normal pace, but when you’re inside you hurry back to your room to write that warning to your mother in High Valyrian so there’s less of a risk of someone unwanted reading your note. Which is unlikely because Astraea will carry your letter, but it’s always better to be safe than sorry.
“<Ser Criston Cole is preparing his attack on Rook’s Rest. Vhagar and Aemond will be there too in hopes of catching one of your dragons by surprise, which means he will be leaving the city defenseless for today and tomorrow. I will write more soon.>
You don’t sign your name, nor do you address it to anyone out of caution. You keep the letter short even if you wish to write more. And before anyone can interrupt you, you rush off using the tunnels so no one can stop you, or see you and report your comings and goings to anyone who shouldn’t know.
Once you make it out to the cove behind the castle, your dragon is already waiting for you.
“<Good girl,>” you praise her and caress her snout. “<Now go to Dragonstone and deliver this message. Be careful.>”
Astraea brings her head down to let you attach the note to one of her long horns.
“<Now go,>”, you tell her and press your forehead against her before you step away and watch her fly off to Dragonstone, wishing that there wasn’t a raging war happening so you could go too without worry or fear.
——
*THE NEXT DAY*
“The powerful are powerless to someone aren’t they?” Helaena comments and leaves you pondering about the actual significance behind such a simple comment.
“Yes,” you muse and prop your elbows on the stone railing to rest your chin on your hands and admire the crimson blood that stands out like shining rubies on Astraea’s purple feet as her large claws puncture her prey while she drags their lifeless silver body with her.
You like to think that your family got your message, you went to see Astraea a few hours after she returned yesterday and neither the letter nor the ribbon was attached to her horn anymore. Do they have to send anything in return? No, but maybe they could send back a different colored ribbon or something small like a shell in your satchels hanging on her saddle. You looked and looked but it was all empty, so you were left hoping the letter did not fall in the water when she flew there.
You’ll have to let them know to send you some discreet message in return next time to let you know that they got your letter.
“Even the King's answer to someone…” you add to your forming thought. “They may be powerful, but that power can easily be taken by anyone really. They just need the right motivation.”
Helaena hums and her eyes then slide to watch you watching your dragon.
“How are you feeling Helaena?” You ask and turn your attention to her. “I haven’t asked today.”
“About?” She probes.
You push yourself up and carefully bring up what worries you about her. “Your boy. This war. You being Queen.”
Her chest raises high and when it goes back down she looks out at the horizon. “Well…being Queen comes with more attention, I can feel them all looking at me, waiting for me to do something. But I don’t want to. I don’t want them looking at me.”
“Hold your head up high,” you try to advise her sweetly. “Paint on a facade and they won’t really see you. Just worry about caring for your daughter, that’s all that matters.”
Helaena blinks and her eyes fall. You study her face closely to watch for any change in emotions, but she’s harder to read than her brothers, so you wait for her to give you her response.
“Alright.”
You offer her a kind smile and look back at the horizon past the window, coming out surprised when she continues to share what troubles her soul.
“And Jaehaerys,” she pauses and your eyes return to her. “My sadness isn’t as grand anymore. I miss him, but he’s not suffering anymore.”
You swallow back and can’t help but frown with pity and sorrow that you don’t hide so she knows it’s okay to be sad, that if she wants you can be sad with her.
Yet she puts on a brave face so all you can offer her is a faint smile.
“Daeron sent me a letter,” she shares with glee. “And he sent me a butterfly with it. It was dead of course, but I added it to my collection because I did not have it yet.”
“That’s nice of him. I would like to see it after we see the maester that is.”
She nods. “Of course.”
Silence follows but she doesn’t let it last. “Are you scared?” She asks back which is a general question, but you answer with what plagues you the most.
“Yes…I have a lot to lose,” you murmur and step back, making her wait for you to start walking forward to be able to follow at your side.
“But I know I must put my trust in them,” you add and fiddle with a starfish that decorates the golden chain around your waist. “They are strong in their way. I just…don’t want to lose anyone anymore. I don’t want to…end up alone.” Your voice breaks without warning.
“But,” Helaena’s parting lips echo down the lonely hall. “You won’t end alone.”
The corner of your lips form a quick smile and you can’t help but show it off to her. “I will have you that’s true—”
“No,” she cuts you off, and her eyebrows furrow as she seems to grow impatient. “But you won’t end up alone.”
Your smile disappears, and your anguish leaves with it, letting conflict push your eyebrows together, and part your lips as a small gasp leaves your mouth.
Helaena watches you and she can’t seem to get a hint of what you’re feeling, but her impatience to be heard gets lost.
“No?” You ask for reassurance even if a part of you warns you not to believe her simply out of self-protection, while the other part of you completely trusts what she just said.
“You,” she pauses and comes to a slow stop, making you stop, and bringing Ser Jason and her guards to a stop behind you. “You believe me?” She asks softly as she doesn’t see that same pitiful smile everyone offers her when she shares something ominous she needs them to understand.
“I believe you,” you throw all your trust in her and offer her a sweet smile.
Helaena’s gaze lingers on you as her thoughts swirl behind her eyes. “Okay,” she breathes out. “Thank you.”
You hum softly and continue down your path back to your chambers. “Why shouldn’t I? We are part of a special family, my favorite ancestor is Daenys the Dreamer, she’s the one who saved our house thanks to what she dreamt. And even still we follow the rule of men when it’s women who have saved us from doom.” You grumble and roll your eyes.
“Well, men—”
“No,” you cut her off and scold her. “Don't well men me. Women are just as capable as men. In ruling and combat if given the chance. And we are not afraid of blood…well some of us at least, because we bleed all the time. Do you see what I’m trying to get at?”
She shrugs lazily. “I suppose.”
You loll your head to the other side and click your tongue in disappointment.
“Anyway,” you drag out and clasp your hands together. “Sunfyre and Astraea were nuzzled against each other yesterday when I went to take her out. Isn’t that so cute?” You change the subject to a more lighthearted matter that doesn’t really catch her attention, but she still shares a comment nonetheless.
“I’m sure Astraea is happy to be out.”
You smile and nod. “Delighted. She has been spoiled beyond belief with her freedom, which makes it hard for both her and me when it comes to putting her in chains here.”
“I’m sure she knows it’s not because of ill intent,” she tries to comfort you.
You huff. “Yes, she knows that. She just…prefers her freedom.”
Before you know it you reach your chambers and Maester Orwyle is already inside preparing what he needs for your examination.
“Your Grace,” he greets Helaena first before he greets you. “Princess.”
You offer him a faint smile and a warm greeting. “Hello Maester, I hope you haven’t been waiting long. We were taking a stroll after breaking fast.”
He shakes his head and responds. “No, I got here a moment ago myself. Now will you tell me what you have been feeling so I can conclude to the right results.”
You sigh and watch Helaena take a seat on one of your couches before you let your eyes wander ahead as you tap into your memories. “Well, it has been a month since I last bled. I…started feeling more exhausted than usual a couple of weeks after the war started. I have been craving foods more than usual, and…well I have had more frequent headaches as well as stomach aches.”
The maester hums and he studies you before his gaze goes to Vanessa. “How has she eaten?”
Oh because he couldn’t ask you?!
“Not well, but it also varies, some days she tends to eat like normal, while on other days she hardly touches her food,” she happily obliges with sharing…well a lot of what you would have not shared.
“Ok, Princess, if I may ask you to change into a lighter gown so I can do your examination.” He orders while you pass Vanessa an annoyed glare she doesn’t fret to brush off as she pushes you behind a divider to help you undress.
“You did not have to share all of it. I eat,” you whisper sharply, and she turns you around harshly to untie the corset, while you pull the halter strap over your head.
“Define what eating is to you,” she rebuttals and you try to sass her.
“Eating is when you—”
“Prince Aemond would have my head if I did not reveal the truth to the maester. He already pressed me to feed you more,” she cuts you off and shares what you didn’t know.
“He shouldn’t have,” you mutter as you purse your lips together.
Vanessa sighs. “He's just worried…in his own way, that's all. And why shouldn’t he be? You haven’t told him.”
A perplexed look flickers on your face before all that paints your face is anguish. “I just…need to be sure first. I mean I need to hear it from a maester.”
“I understand,” her voice eases off the frustration. “Ok, it’s done.”
You let the gown fall to your feet before you step away from it and slip on a lighter gown to rejoin the maester out in your room.
“It does seem that you have lost weight,” The maester points out now that he takes a second look at you in a less busy gown. “But that may be grief as well. I’m certain it has not been easy.”
You scoff and gently shake your head as you make yourself to your bed, and he follows suit with gadgets that he uses inside you…
“Okay just try and hold still. We have done this before so you remember the procedure, right?”
You gulp and offer him a breathless response that gives him the okay to proceed and examine you carefully so as to not miss something, or diagnose you with the opposite of what you may have.
Like he said you have gone through this before, but it still is quite uncomfortable. You get lost on the ceiling above you and wait for him to stop before you move so he can press your belly with his fingers, and also feel your breasts to check if they are tender.
Once his quiet examination is done he steps back from your bed and stands formally before he finally addresses your anticipation. “Congratulations Princess, you are indeed with child.”
It’s meant to be a happy moment, but you’re tormented by anguish as the truth is finally proven and you can no longer hope that it's all some silly mind game played by all your troubled emotions.
Now…the possibility of your passionate night with Cregan resulting in a joyous bundle is more real. Then again you hide behind the hope that one night did not lead to a child. You convince yourself that Aemond is the father because it is true, your fear is just wicked and playing with you.
“Twins?” You ask and he blinks with surprise before he nods hesitantly as if surprised that you know what isn’t meant to be obvious yet.
“Yes…there are two babes. Two different placentas.”
“I told you,” Helaena blurts over the couch before she returns her attention to the books you have spread all over the couches since Aemond has his map on the small table.
“But,” he adds and your heart drops. “I would like to keep a closer eye on you. It seems one babe is smaller than the other.”
You drag yourself to the edge of the bed and press him for more. “Wh-what does that mean? Will they be okay?”
Maester Orwyle lets out a deep breath before he makes your heart hurt with his honesty. “I cannot say for certain, that’s why it’s important for you to eat princess. If you are not healthy and strong the babes will not be. This time you will have to eat for three which will take that much more energy.”
“I understand,” you whisper your comprehension.
“Like I said I will come and check on you more often. I want to make sure that the babes are growing as they should.”
You nod and he bows his head before he offers you one more congratulations and then turns to talk to Vanessa about teas and different foods that you should and shouldn’t eat. And before he left he did not forget to tell you to share your news with Aemond, as if he didn’t already plan to do it himself because apparently you are incapable of controlling your own life.
Regardless, now you know. Now there’s no use hoping you’re simply overthinking and that Helaena’s head is too lost in the clouds, she was right, and you are with child. You are going to have twins with Aemond.
Okay…maybe that prospect does excite you more than you thought. You might have your own Daenys soon, and maybe another girl or more boys!
Whatever they may turn out to be your worry turns to overwhelming bliss you can hardly contain. If only Aemond was here to tell him, but he’s too far and you would be too reckless to fly to him just to share the news.
You have half the mind to go, but that would be oh-so stupid. You’ll have to wait and maybe think of baby names?
Or embroider a nice cover? You are terrible at sewing, but you have the urge to.
Maybe you’ll sing to them and Aerion! You would sing to Aerion when he was in your belly all the time and he would kick like crazy when he got older because of it.
So yes! That’s what you’ll do! They may be too small now to hear, but you need to do something that will release your excitement. Besides you can take advantage and learn more of the songs and ballads that are in the book Aemond gave you.
They’re all so beautiful and full of rich stories. And as sad as some are, knowing that these songs were sung by people in Valyria does delight you as well as make you feel honored that you now get to know them, sing them, and cherish them. It makes it easy to get lost in the songs and have the day pass. Before you know it, noon has already crept in.
The sun is still high so the entire day didn’t pass under you. The only reason you do break your attention from your book is because a persistent knock raps on the door.
Is it Aemond?!
You beam at the possibility.
“Come!” You welcome the visitor as you throw the book on the couch and stand up to spin and face the door.
Nevertheless, who comes in isn’t your tall long-haired husband, it’s his brother, Aegon.
“Your Grace,” you mumble in confusion and look him up and down as you note that he looks smaller than usual in such historic armor that Aegon the Conqueror once wore.
“Niece,” he greets and flashes you a smile before he closes the door behind his guards.
“Aemond is not here,” you state the obvious even if the hairs on the back of your neck rise as they warn you that he’s not looking for your husband.
His heavy footsteps thud as he begins to make his way toward you with a mischievous glint in his eyes that deepens that smirk on his face.
“Yes, I know of my brother's comings and goings.” He says, causing fear to strike your heart. “But I am not here for him.”
You glance at his Kingsguard for help, but you should have known better, they look away, and at that very moment they let you know that you’re alone and defenseless against whatever antics creep into Aegon’s mind.
“Then why are you here? In armor.”
He shrugs. “I am going to battle. Obviously,” he chuckles and his smirk turns to a grin.
You see that he’s past the couches so you continue to back away until you’re behind a couch. “That seems rather reckless. You are King—”
“You can’t tell me what to do,” he spats and his grin falls back to a smirk that keeps that mischievous outward.
“Why are you here Aegon?” You ask again and he keeps making his way toward you, not caring that you’re obviously trying to keep your distance.
He huffs. “I’m here for your favor,” he finally reveals and you swallow thickly and run into a chair.
“I already gave it to Aemond,” you try to keep Aegon away. “And you have a wife. Ask for her favor.”
He lets out a sigh. “It's not the Queen's favor I desire,” he quickly brushes you off and hops over the living area to hurry over and trap you against the chair so you cannot keep running away.
“It’s yours,” he whispers and leans his face closer to you, letting his strong wine breath whaff all over you which causes you to try and slide away, but he throws his hand out to grab the chair and block your exit.
“Aemond—”
“Is not here,” he cuts you off again and uses his other hand to start reaching out for your arm, but you grab your golden waist belt to avoid his incoming touch.
“Aegon,” you hiss. “Leave.”
“After a kiss goodbye hm?”
You shake your head and rebuttals by throwing his hand around your arm, but he doesn't pull you anywhere, he just grabs your arm and makes you feel utterly powerless. You hold so much battle knowledge, you know how to make someone unhand you, you can sweep someone off their feet, and so much more, but at this very moment with his hand on your arm and his wine breath unfurling over your cheek, you can’t move a muscle.
“Aegon,” you try to call him off you again, but his hold loosens and the tip of his fingers travel to your hips.
“Stop,” you mutter with a quivering lip. “Please,” your voice trembles.
He spares you a glance before he tilts his face to the side to force you to kiss his cheek first.
You don’t want to, you want to push him away, to scream, but he won’t move and you can’t find the strength; it hides like a coward under Aegon’s presence. Thus you’re left with no choice, you pucker your lips and lean your face forward to press a light kiss on his cheek so it can make him leave faster, feeling disgust swirling what little you have in your stomach.
When you pull back you expect him to back away and leave you alone, but his hand presses against your hip and you feel the warmth of his hand start to travel up.
“Aegon stop it,” you sneer shakily.
Said man’s hungry eyes start to lower to steal a glance at your chest exposed by the v-neck your bodice was designed with.
“Aegon,” you call out desperately, making him find your gaze and smile.
“Wish me good luck,” he says in return.
You swallow back nervously and part your lips, but before you can utter a word the doors get thrown open, pulling your eyes to the welcoming visitor, and seeing Ser Jason with his sword halfway out of his sheath, and his face hardened.
“Ser,” you call out with relief.
Aegon looks over his shoulder and his smile dies.
“Your Grace,” Ser Jason greets coldly without letting his sword go but making Aegon’s kingsguard grab their own swords to prepare for an attack.
“Just in need of my niece's favor,” Aegon is quick to throw out an excuse. “Ser.”
Aegon proceeds to snap his head back around to steal one more glimpse at you before he slides his hand off your body, letting you finally breathe when he backs away and gives you his back.
Even then, though, as he's leaving he makes sure to take his sweet time more so to taunt you that he has power over you now.
“Ser,” Aegon directs at Ser Jason with a taunting smirk that he makes sure is the last thing you see before he disappears down the corridor, knocking out any sort of confidence you could show off to Ser Jason as he remains there past your doors.
“Th-thank you,” you clear your throat and fight the urge to cry as you’re left defeated and feeling powerless. “Ser. For coming to my aid.”
Ser Jason finally lets his sword fall back in his sheath and his blue eyes soften to pity as he watches you fight back your tears.
He wants to ask if you’re okay, but he also knows that would be a stupid question considering he can see you shaking, and hears you heaving.
“Princess,” he whispers and you pull your eyes up to give him your attention through a teary gaze.
“I’m—I’m okay, Ser” you stammer and nod even if you feel violated.
Ser Jason whispers his comprehension, but rather than walking out and standing guard outside your doors, he steps further inside and comes to a stop shortly after to watch you with a certain conflict battling in his deep blue eyes, a conflict that you pick up on before you turn away and clutch onto the chair to try and calm yourself down after something you feared the most happened.
You tried so hard, but you were utterly useless. You couldn’t move a muscle, or find the right thing to say back. You were nothing at that moment but something else he can now order around.
You feel so stupid, so weak, and—
“Princess,” Ser Jason calls out and now you hear that he’s closer than before.
“Ser,” you breathe out and turn around, seeing at that moment that your eyes fall on him, that his eyes express his pity while also trying to offer you the comfort you need the most.
“You…you are not alone,” he says and you can’t help it, you break down and all you want is your mother or Cregan…
He was always there when you felt the most anguished without a fault.
But he can’t be here, nor can you go to your mother. And even Aemond is gone to feed his hunger for battle, leaving only your sworn protector.
“Okay,” you whisper with relief and he slowly starts moving toward you with his hand slowly rising off his side in an attempt to offer you a comforting touch.
Albeit before he can even get near, your eyes find Lord Larys limping toward your open doors, causing you to drop your head to hide your tears.
Not like it was a fruitful act, the Lord takes note of your anguish.
“Lord Larys,” you address his presence, making Ser Jason almost throw himself back as he backs away from you so the Lord doesn’t get the wrong idea.
“Princess,” the lord greets in return. “Forgive my intrusion. I was coming to pay you a visit and I came across an open door.”
You shake your head to dismiss his apology. “Do not worry about it, Lord. You are welcome.”
You glance up at him and catch an exchange of looks between Lord Larys and Ser Jason before your sworn protector walks out of the room in a hurry, leaving Lord Larys and you alone in the confinements of your chambers.
“Please take a seat,” you point to your table. “I would offer a seat in front of the fire, but I’m ashamed to say Aemond and I have a mess.”
Lord Larys shakes his head. “It’s quite alright,” he reassures you and limps toward the table to take a seat on a wooden chair.
You turn to walk towards the flagon of water and wine so he won’t see the tears that leave your eyes red.
“Water? Wine?” You offer as you wipe your cheeks and draw in a deep breath.
“No, I’m fine, thank you.”
You nod in comprehension and serve yourself some water before you turn and face the Lord in hopes he will reveal what brought him here.
“I hope you have found yourself well, a gaze stuck between two sides must be heavy on the heart,” he says.
You bring your gaze down to watch the water within the golden goblet. “I find myself quite well,” you lie with a smile you direct at the Lord. “It was difficult at first, but now…my conflict has been resolved, and the only weight I carry is the worry for my husband and son's safety.”
He hums and you notice him dig his hand in his pocket as he interjects. “As you should be, with Prince Daemon on a path of revenge, who knows what else he might do.”
Your gaze narrows to a glare for a brief second before you take a small sip and take a seat across from him.
“I have been meaning to thank you for telling me about Prince Aemond’s whereabouts when I was gone,” you address the matter and set your cup down, but keep your fingers around the neck of the goblet. “Telling the truth really helped us reconcile.”
The Lord brings a fisted hand up to hang over his cane while he offers you a faint smile. “I’m gladdened. It’s important that the realm sees the picture of unity among the royal family. Now more than ever.”
You scoff. “They need food. Not a glimpse at our marriage, they could care less about us whilst they’re starving,” you rebuttal bitterly and take a glance out the balcony.
“That’s easier said than done with the blockade cutting off any transport of food,” he adds, making you return your gaze to him.
“If only there could be something done about it,” you mumble bitterly and leave out the fact that the crown could spare food, or send a dragon to break that blockade.
“Maybe you can,” he suggests, piquing your interest. “You have Prince Aemond’s ear, and he has a seat upon the council. You could ask him to give an idea to the council.”
You tap the neck of the goblet as you think about what he just said. Which is honestly not a bad idea, but would they even agree to offer any help?
Doubtful.
You could bring it up nonetheless. Maybe.
“That is a great idea, I might do exactly that,” you don’t hesitate to give Lord Larys his props.
Lord Larys bows his head to offer you his thanks before he moves his fisted hand and pushes it over the table. “I did come to give you this…back.”
You slowly sit up straighter and press your hands on the table as you watch him put down a small brown wooden box on the table.
“It seems you lost it recently,” he pauses and pushes the box toward you with the tip of his finger, causing curiosity to tug the corner of your lips to a faint smile.
“…in the North.” He finishes and your hand freezes just as you’re reaching for the box.
At first, you were completely in the dark about what he was reeling up to, but now that he pulls the truth out of the murky waters, you start to realize what the box might hold, and the insinuation he might have as bait.
And alas, when you grab the box and bring it toward you to open it, you see exactly what you suspected; the sapphire ring you had lost in Castle Black. The ring Aemond had gifted you when you first returned from the North. The ring you dropped as you were kissing Cregan.
“It was brought to me from Winterfell,” Lord Larys adds with a certain change in his tone of voice. “It seems someone found it in the bed chambers of the Warden of the North.”
So the ring was given back to Cregan. That’s…nice.
“Any idea why the Lord would have such a meaningful ring in his chambers?” Lord Larys presses, and you start to hear it, the insinuation he does not directly say.
“I had lost it,” you try not to express your horror and close the box to hold Lord Larys' gaze without fear. “He obviously found it. Are you suggesting Lord Stark stole from me?”
Lord Larys scoffs in amusement and shakes his head. “No, I could not see Lord Stark doing something so below him. Albeit it seems his honor does dwindle when it comes to a much more valuable Gem of the Sea.”
The nonchalance you wore falls, but you don’t break. You are not stupid either, you know who Lord Larys is referencing when he brings “Gem of the Sea.”, but you do not let him bait you, nor do you find yourself powerless like when Aegon was here moments ago. What is Lord Larys?
He’s no King. No Warden, no knight, he only holds the title of Lord because his family has not tried to fight him for the title and lands, and the other part of his family is dead. He’s not fearsome, he’s a man with a club foot.
You will not cower behind a shadow that cannot even overshadow yours.
“Lord Larys,” you feign a laugh and open the box to pull the ring out. “Answer me this…do you take me for a fool?”
Lord Larys sputters and ends up saying nothing after he did not expect you to rebuttal as fearless as you did.
“I know what you are insinuating,” you continue and slide the sapphire ring back on your ring finger. “And it really is a nasty thing,” you roll out and snap your eyes up to look at the disbelief he’s trying to wipe off.
“But just so we are on the same page, tell me what exactly you are referring to,” you lull out and bat your eyelashes while a large winged shadow suddenly flies past the windows before a chitter breaks in the sky, and a growl soon follows.
He nor you need to look out to know it’s your dragon, it’s why he swallows back nervously and parts his lips, but you interrupt him because you know a bunch of shit was going to come out of his mouth.
“That’s what I thought,” you mutter with your voice losing that sweet honey and growing intimidating. “Did you know that rats are easy to kill here? Be that with traps, poison, or corner them where they nest and burn them.”
A loud roar rattles the room and a smirk begins to grow on your face, making Lord Larys clutch onto his cane and lean back against the chair.
“Come at me with that shit again, or threats and some bait to try and control me,” you spat. “And I will not need someone to get their hands dirty for me, my Lord. I enjoy chasing and catching my own prey.” You giggle. “It’s exhilarating. And I bet seeing how fast you run will be quite amusing.”
You stand up from your chair and point to the door. “There’s the door my Lord. It was,” you pause and drag out a deep breath before you finish. “Refreshing speaking with you. Come again.”
Lord Larys gets up from his chair and bows his head before he mutters his goodbye. “Princess.”
You raise your nose in the air as you watch him leave between your lashes.
“Oh,” you add as he’s making his way out. “And if I hear that wicked rumor spread about, I know who to look for, so don’t worry trying to hide, my Astraea is a great tracker.”
Lord Larys doesn’t add anything in return, he walks out in defeat. It’s only once the doors close behind him, and you’re enveloped in silence that you let out a deep and exhausted breath.
Having Jacaerys and a stranger find out is completely different, your brother wouldn’t out you to anyone, or spread your secret like a plague, but a stranger would so you had to show your teeth. You had to be threatening, which is new! It’s such a new feeling, but…it’s such a rush seeing people squirm in fear under you!
You can’t say you dislike having that power or any power at all for that matter. You can’t say you dislike showing it either, you want to relish in it. You want to bear it proudly.
——
*SOMETIME LATER*
“And…” you trail off and lower the wooden bow your hands embrace to watch the sharp metal arrow puncture the bullseye. “That’s how you do it.”
You spin on your heels and stretch your arms out like a dragon spreads its wings.
“Eagle eye,” Ser Jason mocks, and you chuckle and jump up to go and collect another arrow from your satchel.
“I mean that—” Ser Jason begins to stumble over his words as he realizes he was perhaps too bold, so you cut him off.
“Hush, it’s okay. And! Actually, my friend Lady Arra Norrey, Lord Stark’s wife, used to call me that because well…at first I was not a good shot.” You muse with a growing smile. “Do you mean it mockingly, Ser?” You shoot him a pointed look that makes him squirm and ends up making you grin. “I’m messing with you Ser.”
He scoffs and lets the tension fall from his shoulders.
“Now watch this,” you keep his attention on you as you turn on your heels and position your arrow before you break into a jog and bring your aim up.
Yet just before you can shoot your arrow, in the flash of a second, you swiftly spin on your heels and hastily aim at the third dragon head on an ugly green banner, before you let the arrow fly.
The arrow whizzes through the air rapidly, and the sharp arrowhead rips through the third dragon right in the beady eye.
“Fantastic!” Ser Jason praises you as he claps for your wickedly good shot.
You bow again as you laugh with glee.
“Lucky shot, but my ego will grow nonetheless,” you tease as you walk over to grab another arrow.
Albeit just as you take the arrow and turn to walk to your spot a guard walks over and clears his throat to let you know he means to talk to you. “Princess, Vhagar is approaching the city.”
A smile breaks on your face and you let the arrow and bow go to pick up your skirts and run through barriers of space thinking of no one else but Aemond, the cure to your solitude, and the warmth that left you in the cold.
Ser Jason is quick to follow after you in a hurry to make sure nothing happens to you whilst you run from courtyard to courtyard and swerve busybodies. When you reach the last gate that leads to the city you come to a stop and he doesn’t fail to come to a stop a few paces behind, making sure he never lets you out of his sight as you wait for your husband to appear down the cobble street, and slightly worrying of what he will do if your beloved husband doesn’t return alive.
It’s an outrageous thought, but he plans ahead just in case. Plus he can’t help but plan ahead. It’s how his mind works.
Nevertheless, his relentless planning is for naught because from one moment to another your fidgeting hands relax, the corner of your lips slowly rise, and your searching eyes lock on him, your husband, your Aemond.
From afar he seems unharmed, but that’s something you still need to make sure of before you truly thank the gods for his return.
Yet checking for his well-being is not what pushes you away from your spot, when his eye finds you just outside the gate your breath catches as you’re riddled with relief over the fact that he’s walking to you on his own two feet and not lifeless on a carriage.
All while Aemond himself comes to a stop, not because he’s overcome with relief that you’re alive, he never feared for your death whilst you stayed in the Red Keep. He freezes and is riddled with disbelief because no matter what, he did not expect you to be waiting for him past the gates of the Red Keep. He expected to find you in your chambers even if he knows how much your excitement can drive you.
And he's not thinking that catching you outside the Red Keep gates bothers him, his heart skips a beat as he realizes that you’re not some fever dream, you’re there, beaming at him before you break into a sprint to rip through barriers of space just to join together in a clashing embrace.
“Aemond,” you chuckle and cry with joy.
Said man is still caught by surprise for a second so he remains stiff before he melts in your warmth and returns your embrace with a much tighter hold that assures you that it's really him.
“I was worried,” you share softly against his neck.
Aemond caresses the back of your head and nuzzles his nose against your neck, letting himself display his affection for you around bypassers because he wants people to know that he is loved and that he loves someone dearly.
“I’m alright. I told you, didn't I?” He whispers and you can't help but hold him tighter as his voice travels in your ears.
“I will always worry,” you mumble before you pull back and grab his arms to look him up and down to check for any injuries. When you find nothing but soot and his messy hair your heart jolts nervously, but you also feel relief wash over another part of you as you reassure yourself that he came back to you in one piece.
“Nothing hurts?” You still ask him and slide your hands down to grab ahold of his. “Vhagar?”
His eye falls on the ground and he hides a timid smile. “No, I’m fine. I did not get hurt. And Vhagar is fine too.” He says quietly.
You study him one more time before you raise your hands to grab his face. You don’t say anything, nor does he. Aemond just slowly brings his eye up and looks at you with admiration while you watch him completely enamored. At that moment, without the need of opening your mouths, expressing how much you love each other, and how much this time apart was like a strain on the heart. It ached you both.
You also keep expressing how glad you are that he’s back, but it’s that twinkle that joy brings to your eyes that makes his jaw clench, and a deep breath to furl through his nose as he remembers the news he bears, news that will break your heart.
“Uh, I did not have time to warn you, but you must have seen,” you interject and fall on his side to hook your arm around his and head back to the safety of the Red Keep. “Aegon and Sunfyre went to Rook’s Rest.”
Aemond nods and rolls his eye in annoyance. “Yes, we unfortunately crossed paths.”
Your hand stiffens around his arm as you remember Aegon’s visit before he left. “Where is his Grace?” You mutter.
Aemond answers with silence for a moment before he gives you his response. “Aegon got hurt during battle.”
The corner of your lips threaten to pull into a happy smile, but you manage to feign worry. “What? How?”
Aemond stops and slips his arm away, but makes sure not to let go. He grabs a hold of one hand, while he uses his other hand to grab your shoulder.
“<Aegon,” he says in a High Valyrian accent before he continues in the same language. “Was fighting another dragon.>”
You hold his gaze and try to find his concern or pity, but rather than finding any flicker of worry, you catch a darkness dancing in his blue eye.
“<And the dragon burned him,” Aemond continues to add stiffly. “It was…a foolish act on his part to go to battle and challenge the dragon, but that act was repaid with dragon fire and broken bones.>”
You can’t pretend to be worried, you don’t care if he’s hurt or close to death. If you could you would clap and celebrate, but you hold it all back behind a shocked expression that raises your eyebrows and parts your lips.
“<What…” you hesitate as the other part of you that had begun to worry slowly starts to take over you. “…Dragon was it?>”
Aemond doesn’t answer right away, he keeps holding your gaze, and the corner of his lips twitch up, while that darkness brings a malicious gleam to his eye that you don’t miss.
It’s not difficult to read into these small expressions, for you at least. For anyone else who doesn’t really know Aemond beyond the facade he puts up wouldn’t realize the truth he masks behind that lie, but you do. You see it clear as day. Is it because he let you read him? Or because you know his soul?
Both, but regardless, you know it was no other dragon that brought Aegon down. Not after Aegon humiliated Aemond at that brothel, not after knowing the tension between the brothers, the pranks Aemond never forgave. It was Aemond and Vhagar. You don’t need him to put it in simple words for you to know.
Nor do you care that it was him. You’re actually proud it was him, and he sees that pride, just like he also reads your speechless praise between your lips twitching up and that gleam in your eye.
What a cruel pair you make huh?
“It was Meleys,” Aemond finishes sharing in the common tongue, bringing that relief and that pride to an end as the worry that only captured a part of you now takes over you completely.
“Meleys?” You mumble and clutch onto his hand while your eyelashes bat frantically as you try to find the reason why she would be there. You warned them. You sent it early so they’d know!
“Yes,” Aemond mutters and brings down the hand he had on your shoulder to grab your hand. “Listen to me...”
He says it. He shares the cruel truth and it all comes crashing down.
You don’t want to accept it at first, you can’t accept what came out of him, but he wouldn’t lie about it. What reason was there to lie about your grandmother dying along with her dragon Meleys?
Yet you want it to be a lie. You want it to be a cruel jest.
“Please,” you beg in a quivering voice. “Do not lie.”
Aemond doesn’t respond, he swallows back nervously and that only helps to reaffirm the truth; your grandmother Rhaenys is dead. She’s gone and so is Meleys.
Your grandmother…is gone. Someone else is dead, and you don’t need to ask who it was, you see that victory in his eye. It was Aemond again.
But right now that’s not what occupies your mind, right now all you know is grief once again. Agonizing, and heart-tearing grief.
It doesn’t let you breathe, it doesn’t let you think of nothing else but the pain. There’s so much pain.
You can’t breathe, it all weighs down on you. You want to be numb to it to not feel a thing, but you feel it all in all its glory.
“No,” you croak and feel streaks of tears rush down your face. “No,” you cry under your breath. “Please no.”
Aemond tries to pull you into an embrace, but you push yourself away and try to catch your breath, you try to take it all in to try and calm yourself down. However, your blood is rushing in your ears, making everything inside you hectic, making the noises around you louder than they are, and making the world move faster than it is which disorientates you.
You don’t know where you are, that knowledge is lost. All you know is the pain and the deep need to see your grandmother again. You want to see her one more time. You want to hold her longer. You don’t want her to be gone forever.
“Please,” you beg under your breath. “Help me.”
She told you that if you needed help to let her know, to tell her. You’re telling her now, you want her help now. You need it like you need to breathe.
But it won’t come, she won’t come to your aide. She won’t embrace you, or tell you that it will all be fine, she’s gone, and you can’t breathe because of it...
Everything around you begins to spin, and you start to feel lightheaded. You want to keep yourself stable, but you can’t find a wall. You actually stumble and the world that was once spinning around you stops, but only because a darkness begins to consume you.
You try to call for help, but your lips part and nothing comes out. You do however hear another voice, but it doesn’t belong to you, as you get swallowed by the darkness you recognize Ser Jason’s panicked voice. “Princess!”
Yet it’s not him who catches you, you know that much. The last thing you see is clear, it’s Aemond’s worried face above yours...
.
.
.
.
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A/N- You reacting to Aegon is how Daemon thought Rhaenyra would react to Blood and Cheese
Tagged- @namelesslosers @stargaryenx @chainsawsangel @lauftivy @winxschester @cloudroomblog @llarue @padsdarlg @sofietargaryen @gracielikegrapes @dreaming-of-the-reality @itzelpeyton @patdsinner33 @mrsdominickstark @elaena-aerrin @todoroki-slut @snh96 @urmomsgirlfriend1 @nifujiswhore @sweethoneyblossom1 @kaetastic @lightdragonrayne @squidscottjeans @oh-you-mean-me @wallacewillow0773638 @icefrye19 @callsignwidow @thescottpack @fiction-fanfic-reader @crazymusicgirl104 @r-3dlips
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darnell-la · 30 days
Note
heyy.. hey, how y’all doing 😭🫶🏽
i absolutely love this blog, you are so talented and the work you put out BOMB !! logan’s personality/dialogue is amazing. i was wondering if you could do a part 2, or maybe a whole new blurb about logan + anal with reader? thank you so much <33
thank you so much for your kind words and support. we’ve been busy with all of these Logan x reader stories, but we’re completely fine with it. We love this man. The character AND the actor.
this is a whole different story from the last but still involves anal with the reader. he’s very mean in here but has a reason to be. I think you guys would like this…
follow our Instagram @ darnell.la so we can start posting random videos, photos, edits, and memes of the people we write about!
———
Tonight was a fun night. At first, Logan showed her off by dancing with her, filling her drinks and maybe giving her a few pecks here and there. It felt special since this was the first time he’s shown real affection towards her in public.
Everyone kind of had an idea months ago after he yelled at y/n, telling her it was too dangerous to fight without being by his side. Every mission from them, he’s literally glued on her, not letting her out of his sight for even a second.
After a couple of hours, the mutants were drunk and Logan was gone. He’s been gone for only ten minutes, but y/n noticed. She always does.
Y/n got up to talk around and find him, maybe even get another drink while she’s at it.
“So you like them badass now? Uncontrollable and dumb!?” Y/n heard Jean yell in the kitchen. “I’ve never not liked them badass, Jean,” Logan spoke. The jealousy of him talking to Jean about anything flooded her body.
“You didn’t like me when I was badass or uncontrollable. What is it about her that I don’t have, hm? Does she kiss better? Fuck? Suck? Tell me, Logan, because we both know I can do it better,” Y/n wanted to say something, but she wanted to hear what Logan had to say.
The man chuckled, knowing Jean was nowhere near how y/n was. Her personality was better, she treated him better, and she wasn’t scared to show how much she adored him. Jean never showed anything towards him unless they ran into each other in an empty hall or room.
“You wish,” he went to walk away but Jean grabbed his face and pulled him to a rough kiss. Y/n’s eyes widened as her fists balled up, but she stood still. Why? Because Logan didn’t do anything.
Y/n felt her eyes tear up, her breathing get heavy, and her head spin. She couldn’t stay watched. She left right before he finally did something.
The man grew his claws out and raised them to Jean's neck after pushing her away. “You touch me again, and I’ll bring 'em out with my fists on your neck,” Jean was angry but stayed silent. He truly has moved on, or maybe he’s never wanted her like that in the first place.
For the rest of the party, Logan searched for y/n. He walked through the whole mansion after he didn’t find her on the couch she left.
He hated not being around her. It’s not like anything would happen, but he needed her presence.
“Ssh, not too loud,” Logan heard his girl's voice coming from one of the bathrooms. The man sighed in relief, glad he finally found her until he heard a man's voice. That man was Scott.
“Why? No one’s around here, and even if they were, who cares?” The man couldn’t stop kissing all over the girl. She was so sweet and he’d been wanting to get at her before Logan claimed her.
Logan couldn’t believe what he was hearing, so he kept quiet and placed his ear on the door.
“You taste so good — I bet you’re soaked,” the man spoke as his hands traced under her dress. “How about you find out,” she giggled right before his fingers rubbed through her slick.
“Fuck,” he groaned, and that was it. Logan had enough. “The fuck is going on here!?” Logan kicked the door down. Literally. The door had broken off of the hinges, making y/n and Scott jump. His fingers instantly pulled out of her.
“Dude, what the fuck is your problem!?” Scott shouted at the man as he covered y/n up. The girl's right tit was out, her dress was pulled up and her makeup was smudged slightly. How long have they been at this, Logan thought to himself.
Logan couldn’t help but laugh at the two. He could feel his head hurt from the anger running through his body at the sight of Scott of all people, on his girl. His fingers were in his girl.
“Ima give you 5 seconds, Scott, and if you’re not off of my girl and out of my face — I’m gonna slice your ass in half,” Logan threatened and after first, Scott wasn’t scared. He wasn’t going to do shit.
“Look, she told me what you did, so why do you care if I have her now?” Scott spoke. “Five,” Logan said. “Dudes, c’mon,” Scot spoke again. “Four,” Logan said, fists balling and eyes staring through Scott’s soul.
“Logan, get out of here. I’m busy with-“ y/n was cut off after Logan’s claws came out. They seemed longer than ever. “Three,” he spoke. Now Scott was terrified. He was actually going going to do it.
“Come to me later,” Scott said as he fixed his pants and went to walk past Logan. Logan grabbed Scot by the shirt, making the scared me shout in fear, and y/n jump.
“There ain’t no later,” Logan said before throwing Scott off of him. He watched the man speed away and back to the party, ignoring how he could’ve been mauled by Logan.
“L-Logan, you can’t just-“ Logan’s hand was around her neck, cutting her off from whatever dumb shit she wanted to say. “How much did he touch you?” Logan asked. “W-What-“ Logan shook the girl by her neck in anger as he shouted, “How much did he touch you!?”
Y/n didn’t answer. She was shocked at the way he reacted. She wasn’t scared, but she knew he was pissed off. Why when he cheated?
“Answer me!” He demanded as he gripped tight. His right hand still had his claws out, trying to intimidate her, but she knew he could never hurt her, so she decided to have a little fun.
“A lot,” she replied to the man’s question. It seemed like his eyes instantly grew dark. “Did you suck him off, y/n?” He asked, praying to go she wasn’t that stupid.
He still doesn’t know that she thinks he cheated on her. All he’s thinking is that she’s too drunk to fully understand what she’s doing. Even if she did understand, he wasn’t going to let her go. She was his, and she knew that.
“What if I did?” The girl whispered with a grin he hated seeing on her face. She didn’t get the chance to, but she was thinking about it. “Why would you do that, y/n? Why!?” Logan felt his heart shatter.
“Why would you do what you did, huh!? You think this shit only goes one way!?” Y/n choked but managed to get out what she needed. “What are you on about? Y/n, you’re drunk as fuck,” Logan released her neck.
“So what? I rather be drunk and drown on Scott’s lips than spend another second with you and fake love,” y/n spat, eyes instantly tearing up at the view she saw almost an hour ago. She thought the alcohol she’d consumed since then would stop her emotions, but it failed.
“Don’t fuckin’ say that again, and what fake love are you talking about? Y/n, are you even thinkin’ right now? Is your head fucked up or some shit?” Logan tried to understand what had happened since he left her.
“The only thing that’s fucked up is you!” Y/n’s eyes darkened in anger, but they soon faded away. She was sad to unleash any type of power on him. She felt weak and betrayed.
“Baby,” Logan spoke as he stepped towards her and raised his hand to cup her cheek, but she slapped his hand away, eyes barely being able to stay up and looking at him.
“C’mere,” he softly said, finally cupping her cheek with one hand and using the other to rub her thigh. He did anything to calm her down. She’s never lashed out so bad where her powers showed.
“Talk to me, baby. You can’t just stay quiet and expect me to know what I did to upset you,” she spoke low as he rubbed the tears from her cheek. “But you should know — Y-You did it and-“Y/n cut herself off with a choked cry.
“Tell me what I did, bub — I wanna make it up to you,” he said and even though he had no idea what he did and y/n still believed he cheated, she would’ve definitely taken him back. He’s so good at apologizing in different ways.
“She kissed you — A-And you didn’t pull back,” Y/n said as she turned away. “Baby, what?” He asked, already forgetting about what Jean tried to make him do. He would never leave y/n for a woman who can’t make her mind up.
“Jean,” y/n said low, finally holding her cries in. All of a sudden, she felt angry again. “What? Baby — Wait-“ he said, remembering what went down in the kitchen. He could’ve sworn smelt y/n near but he was too busy trying to get through Jean’s head that he’s been done with her.
“Baby, she kissed me then I pushed her off of me,” Logan said. “No, you didn’t!” Y/n yelled at him before pushing his chest hard, causing him to stumble. She was strong. She always has been.
“Y/n, yes I did!” He said, confused about what she saw. Y/n scoffed as she walked out of the bathroom. “Baby- Y/n!” Logan ran after her as she stormed back towards the party.
“Y/n, stop, don’t you fuckin’ go back to him,” Logan growled, knowing that was where she was going. “Fuck off and let me have fun,” Y/n said, making the man’s blood boil.
Before she knew it, y/n was pinned up against the wall, Logan’s hands on her head and pressing her cheek up against the cold wood.
“You think I’m going to let you walk back to him? Just like that!? No — You’re gonna fuckin’ listen to me,” Logan said through his teeth as y/n tried pushing off of the wall, but every time, he slammed her back.
“I didn’t kiss her, okay? If you were there long enough, you would've seen me threatening to claw her, but I fuckin’ bet your emotional ass left before any of that, huh? Huh!?” The man shouted.
“Because you didn’t pull away-“ y/n tried saying but the man pulled her back and then smaller her against the wall again, not really wanting to hear her speak about what she thought she saw.
“I didn’t pull back right away because she got in my mind. I told her to pull back, or I’ll make her. That was it! Ten fucking seconds, and you left in five,” Logan was heated.
“W-Why would I stay and watch my boyfriend kiss his ex?” Y/n genuinely asked as she felt his body crush her. “You didn’t have to, but maybe next time you don’t go sucking Scott’s tongue and not hear me out — And, she’s not my ex!”
It was silent for a while. All you could hear was Logan’s breathing. His deep, dark, animalistic breathing. He’s never been this furious around her before. He wanted to run after Scott and make sure y/n saw nothing in him after he fucked up his face.
“I-I’m sorry,” y/n said, now understanding that Logan didn’t cheat on her. He threatened Jean for y/n, but she was too emotional to confront them or stay any longer to see what he would do.
“Oh, are you now?” Logan asked in her ear before letting out a laugh. “You always are — You’re always yellin’ at me like I’m some bitch,” Logan’s grip on her head and waist tightened.
“You couldn’t even keep your legs closed for an hour after I cheated. You were just gonna slut around, hm? Hm!?” Logan’s hand that was on her waist, loses and travels down her dress until he pulled them up, now rubbing his crotch against her ass.
“I’m sorry,” it came off as a beg for him to forgive her. “Well, sluts get treated like sluts, don’t they?” Logan asked her like she was going to answer. She didn’t know what to do or what to say to calm him down.
It was too late to calm him down. He’d already reached into his jeans and pulled his cock out. She panicked when she remembered they were in the hallway. Anyone could come out.
“No, Logan- Not out here,” she whispered like they weren’t just yelling at each other. “Sluts get treated like sluts,” Logan said after he spat on his cock, rubbing a huge amount on. He needed to make sure he could fit.
“Baby, baby, just please let’s- let’s think about this, okay? Let me apologize,” she begged, trying to move her hips away, but she was going nowhere. He had her pinned down.
“Sluts get treated like sluts,” the man repeated before she felt his tip push at the hole she’s never used before. Before she could scream at the sudden burn, Logan used the hand pushing her face into the wall, to cover her mouth.
Her body was now pressed back against him, allowing her to hear all of his low and deep groans. It hurt him pushing in, but he was going to make it work.
“L-Logan,” y/n cried, her voice still muffled but it’s not like she would’ve been heard anyways. Her heavy breathing won’t let her get a sentence out.
“That’s it,” Logan pushed until he was fully inside of her to the hilt. “So fuckin’ tight — Gotta be the most perfect girl there is,” Logan spoke as he moved his hips, thrusting to her girl slowly, allowing his spot to coat his entire cock and her hole.
Y/n cried in pain as her back arched. She was fighting for her life to keep her legs still, but they were shaking too much. He’s already big, and now he’s in her ass with lack of preparation.
“Did he do this?” Logan asked, talking about Scott. “Can he fuck you like this, hm? You think his cocks meant for your hole like I am, y/n?” The paste he was fucking her in, only made it harder for her to speak. He hadn’t even taken his hand away from her mouth.
“Oh, I know, baby — I know I’m the only one that can make you look this stupid,” Logan could see her eyes cross. She swore she was actually losing her mind. “My little dumb baby,”
Logan’s free hand dug into y/n’s waist, forcing her weak body into his thrust. He couldn’t get enough of her begs, her cries, her small moans, and the way she shook on him.
“You think he’ll want you after this? After you can’t speak for yourself?” Logan continued his bullying. “Actually, I bet he would. After his nasty ass fingers got a taste of you,” Logan got angry once he remembered.
“Bet he ran off sniffing and smelling how sweet you are. So fuckin’ sweet, but that’s supposed to be for me. Only me!”
“You fucked that up, bub, and ima make sure you regret it,” Logan pulled y/n off of the wall before throwing her to the ground. Not too hard because he still cared for her, but enough for her to know he was pissed.
“L-Logan, I’m sorry-“ she couldn’t speak before he had her on all fours and slammed right back into her ass. The scream she let out was loud, but the music the party had was louder.
“I pray to god that son of a bitch comes back out here to this view. Who would want you after you slut yourself in the middle of school, huh? Who?” He asked, pulling the girl back by her hair.
“That’s what I thought. I’m the only one that wants a pretty little slut like you,” he said in her ear as his free hand traced to her tits before letting them free.
“I’m the only one that can control you and give you what you want. No one else, do you hear me?” The tone in his voice made y/n know he wanted an answer. “Y-Yes,” she sobbed.
“So fuckin’ drunk — God, y/n,” he chuckled. “Gonna let me have my way with you? Gonna let me keep fuckin’ this ass till you pass out?” He asked as her eyes slowly became heavy. He could see her. He knew she was close.
“Cum for me first, baby doll. Wanna hear that shit all over the floor,” his deep voice seemed needy, but y/n didn’t need him to tell her twice before she let loose just like he told her to.
“That’s it, princess — My dirty little girl cummin’ brain dead,” y/n was confused but too fucked out to fully realize Logan was fucking her in the air. Her knees were on the ground her feet grazed against her floor.
“Gonna cum, baby,” Logan’s arms held her up as her asshole squeezed so hard it hurt, but he dealt with it. Apart of it made him closer.
Before he knew it, he was filling the hallway with his deep groans and the loud sounds of their skin clapping. “F-Fuuuck, baby,” he could hear his spit and cum mix around in her ass.
Logan was out of breath, but his thrust never stopped. They got harder, feeling like hard hand slaps on y/n’s ass cheeks.
“You thought it was over, baby?” Logan laughed deeply as y/n’s eyes slipped away. He knew he punished her well, but he wasn’t going to stop until Scott came back out to her to “come to her later”.
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moralesluvr · 1 year
Note
omggg pls do miles 42 with a daughter (preferably a baby) !!🥺
daddy's little princess ft. miles morales
♡ pairings & aus: husband!dad!earth42!miles morales x black!fem!reader ♡ summary: you come home from work to your two favorite people bonding with each other ♡ warnings: mentions of murder..pretty sure thats it ♡ a/n: anon don't play w me this is convincing me to have a baby ♡ got a request? | masterlist ♡
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YOUR HUSBAND LOVED HIS TWO GIRLS more than anything. That being you, of course-- his wife, along with your beautiful daughter Aaliyah, who had just turned one a couple days ago. Ever since you had become pregnant and he asked you to marry him, he's only had a soft spot for you and your little one.
Today, unfortunately, your boss called you at six in the morning to inform you that you were needed in the courthouse immediately, for whatever reason. While your husband was out doing whatever 'gangster' stuff he pleased in your teenage years, you had went through college and bagged a couple degrees in forensics and law. Miles had stopped being the prowler when he found out that you were pregnant, the ultimate fear of putting his daughter in danger causing him to pick up a well-paying job that allowed him to work from home. So here he was, your little girl laying on his chest as he watched you get ready. He carefully sat up, slowly bouncing her on his shoulder so that she wouldn't wake. He whispered, "Do you have to go? Tell that lil boy that today was your day off."
You giggle, slipping on your work pants, "He isn't some 'lil boy', Miles, he's my boss. And I wish I could stay, but apparently it's a really important case and they need the best of the best."
"Oh, so you sayin' you that girl, hm?" He whispered, rubbing your daughter's back when he heard her coo. You giggled, slipping on a white button up and undoing the top three, a black blazer accenting the plain blouse. You grabbed your purse and keys and headed over to your husband and beautiful daughter, kissing her on her forehead, "I guess so. I should be back by three or four, depending on how many people this person decided to slaughter."
"If you ain't home by four, I'll be the one up in that courthouse." Miles warns, but his lips stretch into a smile as he gives you a quick kiss on the lips, "I love you. Be safe."
You nod, "You gonna be okay with Aaliyah? Lately she's been fussy."
"This is literally my daughter, remember?" Your husband remarks jokingly, "She'll be okay. I got her, hermosa."
"Mkay." You suck your teeth with uncertainty, "Love you both endlessly."
And with that, you were out the door.
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For the first four hours that you were gone, everything was a breeze. Aaliyah would let out an occasional cry or whine when she was hungry or needed to be changed, but she didn't start really acting up until about one 'o clock, where she was screaming so loud, Miles was sure that she had damaged her vocal chords beyond repair. He tried everything he possibly could- playing with her, trying to put her to sleep, feeding her, and nothing was working.
Finally, he just sighed, picking her up and holding her up to his head. He bounced her, "What's the matter lil ma, huh? Why're you cryin'? Is it cause you miss mommy?"
That statement earns a cry.
"Yeah...I miss her too." He sighs, placing your daughter on his shoulders as he holds her hands with his own, making his way to the living room. He then sits down and places her next to him, "Okay, if you stop cryin', then we can have some ice cream and watch some of mommy's TV shows that she doesn't let us watch. I'll let you pick, but you can't tell, okay? How does that sound?"
He knows that realistically, your daughter can't make out half of what he's saying, but he finds it hilarious when Aaliyah gives him a nod, her cries slowly started to silence. He smiles and hurriedly runs to the kitchen to fix one bowl of small strawberry ice cream and one bowl of vanilla. He grabs a small spoon and runs over to your daughter, who's sucking on her tiny fists angrily. Miles eyes her, "No, baby, look- here's your ice cream."
He feeds her a spoonful and she immediately gives him a toothless grin, "Yummy!"
"It is, isn't it? It's bussin'. Can you say bussin'?"
He laughs when Aaliyah just gives him incoherent noises. He then turns on the TV and clicks 'Real Housewives'. Was it necessarily appropriate? No, but then again, the girl was one, so as long as it stopped her screeching, it was good to go.
Before the two of them knew it, you were home, walking through the front door and expecting your husband and baby girl to be up and rowdy. Instead, you saw Aaliyah resting on Miles' chest, his head hanging off of the couch's armrest. Two bowls of ice cream were completely empty with spoons inside of them, licked completely clean. The muffled sound of your favorite show played aloud. You smiled and kicked off your flats, grabbing a blanket from the linen closet as you slid next to your husband. You felt him wrap an arm around you sleepily, "Mami?"
"I'm here." You smiled, snuggling into your lover's side as your hand ghosted over your baby's thick hair. You heard Miles mumble against your ear, "I love you."
And you replied sweetly, eyelashes batting as you felt the opiate of sleep undertake you,
"I love you more."
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𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦 ☻ thank you for reading!
𝐒𝐏𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐑-𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐄 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓🕷️: @queenesther996 //@sukunas-slutty-bitch // @c3f21 // @wydney // @rinnyisnothere // @brieryann // @moisttowllet // @Dee-m-cee // @liliummz // @starhrtz // @daisydark // @randomhoex // @solanawrld // @whore4hobie // @tanakaslastbraincell // @simp4miguell // @nyrovi3 // @my3tumbles // @aziulsworld // @enchantingfoxsparkles
𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐒 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐒 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ✎: @Dee-m-cee // @euphorichappiness10 // @adoree-kaelynn // @mhadnirb // @mmst4rz // @iris-theflower // @fleurrieerecs // @kenlani // @kala2022
1K notes · View notes
avatar-anna · 1 year
Text
Rumors
so...i've had this concept rattling around in my brain, but i had no idea how to write it, so i used pictures instead. i definitely want to do more, but tumnlr only allows 10 pictures a post, so here's to hoping i remember to come back to this in the future!
yourinstagram
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liked by taylorswift and 67,530 others
yourinstagram: had a very cool dude over today to make even cooler music
yoursistersinstagram: you let someone in the bat cave?!
y/nfan5: possible collab on the new album?
yourinstagram: more like i was helping someone with theirs ;))
harrystyles: Thank you for having me. X.
harryfan3: HARRY???
harryfan7: omgomgomgomgomg
y/nfan1: pls god let us have a harry and y/n collab on his next album i NEED it
harrystyles
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liked by gemmastyles, yourinstagram and 2,233,781 others
harrystyles: HS3. Coming soon.
harryfan8: NEW ALBUM ALERT
harryfan11: HARRY YOU CANT JUST DROP SOMETHING LIKE THAT WITHOUT A RELEASE DATE
harryfan4: this has to be what he was working on with y/n right?
y/nfan3: i need them both on a song together
yourinstagram: had fun late night talking with you xx
y/nfan9: i'm sorry wHAT
harryfan5: is this flirting this sounds like flirting
harryfan13: honestly...here for it
y/nupdates
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liked by harryfan7 and 4,320 others
y/nupdates: Y/n in a video for Vogue recently!
"A lot of people ask me how Harry Styles ended up recording at my house when we'd virtually never crossed paths before. It was actually Taylor (Swift) who kind of set the whole thing up. They spoke at the Grammys last year and she apparently gave him my number so we could work together...He called and asked if I was available to help with his album at all. At the time I was on the road, then working on stuff for the band, and it just kind of went back and forth for a few months while we tried to line up our schedules. Then I was done touring, but I was kind of in a weird state in life where I didn't want to leave the house or hang out with anyone. And I remember making up excuses because I wasn't really up to making myself presentable to a whole team of people I'd never met before and having our first meeting be this huge thing. I'd basically built it all up in my head about how our ideas would clash and we wouldn't get along and I just kept telling him maybe some other time. Long story short, Harry showed up at my place a week later by himself with just a guitar, a notebook, and my favorite takeout order. We spent the whole day together working on a bunch of different stuff from themes to genres of music to sampling and mixing. And writing. Lots and lots of writing. And now he's a dear friend. He's so sweet and so talented. I wish him all the best with the new album."
y/nfan8: ok i'm glad it worked out and everything but imagine a virtual stranger showing up to your HOUSE?? like she said no and he basically forced her to write his album for her
y/nfan4: that's so real of her tbh to not want to leave her house
y/nfan2: y/n is notoriously introverted it makes sense
harryfan13: girl...
y/nfan7: i don't think it was that serious. and if she really didn't want him there she could've said no
harryfan13: and y/n literally called him a friend?? stop trying to start shit that doesn't exist
y/nfan7: of COURSE mother brought them together
harryfan17: i can't believe that's what harry and taylor were talking about in the video!
harryfan2: chill harry doesn't need to be in a relationship with every woman he's associated with
harryfan4: wait but wasn't y/n at that grammys too?
harryfan9: it was still covid it's possible their paths didn't cross
y/nfan19: wait what if he was too shy to go up to her??😭
harryfan4: i love that they're writing besties now but i think they'd be so cute together 🥹
hsupdates
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liked by harryfan4 and 10,343 others
hsupdates: Harry about Y/n L/n for Rolling Stone:
"I've always admired (Y/n's) work. She and her band are incredibly talented, and are just so passionate about creating music. I wanted that same energy for my third album, the freedom to make whatever I want without any reservations, and I knew Y/n was the perfect addition to the team. It took some convincing, but once we kind of got started, we couldn't stop. As we've gotten to know each other these past few months, I not only respect her as a musician, but for the person she is as well. Her soul is one of a kind, and I feel like my album would be so different without her on it. So now not only do I have an album that I'm proud of and love, but I got an extraordinary friend out of it too."
harryfan9: so this is what people mean when they say platonic soulmates
y/nfan12: all we've gotten is crumbs and i'm already in love with their friendship. and the album of course
y/nfan2: i'm so interested to hear this album now. if y/n is on it it has to be good
harryfan3: "her soul is one of a kind?" if that's harry as a friend i don't think i can handle boyfriendrry😭
y/nfan7: i'm holding out hope for them honestly🤞🏼🤞🏼
liked by harrystyles and 23,724 others
yourinstagram
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yourinstagram: you've fallen from the sky down to me, i see it in your face, i'm relief, i'm your summer girl
y/nfan17: shut up are those song lyrics??
yourbandinstagram: the tears behind your dark sunglasses, the fears inside your heart as deep as gashes🎶🎶
y/nfan17: HOLY SHIT those ARE lyrics!
y/nfan6: haven't even heard the song and i know the girls have done it again
harryfan4: could it...could it be about harry?
y/nfan8: you're grasping at straws
harryfan12: are they? they've been spotted together all over LA
harrystyles: ☀️☀️
y/nfan8: as friends. friends can hang out can't they?
harryfan3: new music from harry AND y/n? we're about to be fed y'all
harryfan10: THEY REALLY ARE BESTIES
y/nfan2: i bet they collaborated on this song together
Interviewer (I): What's one memory or experience you can share from making this album? Any trips to Japan or Jamaica?
Harry (H): We stayed in Los Angeles mostly for this one. But erm...in terms of a specific memory...I would say that while I was working with Y/n, one of the tracks was actually inspired by her cat.
I: Really?
H: Yeah. Whenever it did something to annoy Y/n, which was quite often, she'd call her a little freak. The song's obviously not about the cat, but the phrase was in my head and yeah. Things just kind of...snowballed from there.
I: The sound that Y/n's band has is more rock centric, a similar sound to your first album. Is that what we can expect for your third studio album?
I: You've become quite close to Y/n L/n it seems like.
H: Not necessarily. Y/n and I collaborated, but she also let me take the reins in terms of sound. She had opinions of course and we would bounce ideas off of each other...but she really just followed my lead and supported the vision I had. She is playing a majority of the instruments on the album, though.
H: It's hard not to.
I: How so?
I: It sounds like you could go on for quite some time about her.
H: She's just cool, you know? I was kind of intimidated when we met for the first time. She's quiet, but you never forget that she's in the room, you just want to go over and talk to her. Of course once you meet her she's incredibly kind and not at all intimidating, but still like chill and stuff. The first time we met we sat for an hour just talking about music we enjoyed and live shows we wanted to attend and things we learned while in lockdown. She's just effortlessly cool. An old soul, I guess. And somehow she translates that into her music. Her sisters, too. They're all just first-rate musicians.
H: Sorry. I kind of gushed for a minute there.
H: And the band. They're just so talented, you know?
harrystyles
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harrystyles: From start to finish, making this album has been such an incredible journey. It was so fun to try new things sonically while also making something that I'm one hundred percent proud of. I've never felt more myself while making music than I did while creating this album for all of you, and I have so many people to thank for that. Hopefully you know who you are. I love, love, love you.
harryfan16: 😭😭😭😭😭
harris_reed: little angel👼
harryfan3: WE'RE SO PROUD OF YOU
yourinstagram: congratulations h. you deserve it.💐💐💐
harrystyles: I couldn't have done it without you💐
yourinstagram
liked by yourbandinstagram and 53,089 others
yourinstagram: for one night and one night only...but in all seriousness shout out to my friend and his incredible album. happy to have been a part of the magic :)))
harryfan13: HAPPY HARRY DAY!!!
harryfan4: is she in ny??
y/nfan7: yes! she was spotted with harry before the show today
harryfan9: they're literally so cute i love their friendship
harrystyles: You made the magic happen. Thank you for everything. X.
harryfan3: they're so...
y/nfan2: i genuinely think they like fucking with us bc i legitimately can't tell if they're dating or not
y/nfan7: at this point i don't even care i love whatever they're doing they both just seem so happy to be besties/lovers/collaborators and i love that for them
harryfan5: ^^
y/nupdates
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y/nupdates: Y/n performing Keep Driving onstage with Harry in NYC tonight at ONO!
y/nupdates: When he introduced her, he said: "Tonight is special in a lot of ways. I'm sharing my album with you for the first time, my family's here, my friends are here, and...a very good friend of mine is here to play a song with me tonight. This album wouldn't have been possible without her, so please give her as much love as you've given me. Y/n L/n, everybody!"
harryfan4: stop they're so close it hurts😭
y/nfan7: i was there they were staring at each other and smiling the whole time!
harryfan12: that's the one where he says choke her with a sea view!?
y/nfan7: YES AND I SWEAR HIS SMILE GOT BIGGER WHEN HE SANG THAT PART AND LOOKED AT HER LIKE HE FULLY HAD TO TURN AROUND TO LOOK AT HER BC SHE WAS PLAYING THE DRUMS
harryfan3: i'm choosing to believe they're in love idc what anyone else says
hs/ynupdates
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hs/ynupdates: Harry, Y/n, and her sisters in New York after ONO tonight! Apparently Harry and Y/n were standing and walking very close to each other. Like arms wrapped around each other close.
harryfan2: that could literally mean anything tho. they're good friends why wouldn't they walk next to each other?
y/nfan14: i feel like they don't know if they're dating or not at this point😅
y/nfan8: her sisters are so unserious i love it
y/nfan5: i love that they all showed up for harry🥹
yourbandinstagram
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yourbandinstagram: Thanks for having us, London!
y/nfan1: i can't believe i got to see harry and y/n perform in ONE NIGHT
harryfan3: sending my love and my tears to everyone who got to experience this historic night
harrystyles: Thank you for taking the time to share the stage with me. X.
yourbandfan2: how do y'all always look so good 😭
I: So you opened for Harry Styles a few weeks ago and performed a song with him in New York.
Y/n: My sisters and I did, yeah.
I: How did that come about? Did your team call his team? Or was it more casual than that?
Y/n: Oh, definitely more casual. I think we were just hanging out together one morning and he kind of just suggested it. No bells and whistles or anything like that.
I: So can we expect (Your band) to join Harry on his upcoming tour, then?
Y/n: I don't think so. We're working on putting out a record of our own at the moment, but we do want to get back out on the road soon, but I will definitely be attending more of his shows in the future.
I: And what can we expect from this upcoming record? Did Harry help you the way you helped him out?
Y/n: I've sent him a couple things to listen to, and I value his opinion a lot, both as a friend and as an artist. He also showed me a couple records recently which kind of influenced how I approached some of the songs sonically. He's got a huge vinyl collection at his house. I'm honestly kind of jealous.
I: There's been some rumors running around that you and Harry are in a romantic relationship. Would you like to put any of those rumors to rest?
Y/n: I could see where people might think that. Harry's very affectionate by nature, and over the last couple of months we've become very close. He's not just someone I admire in the music industry, but as a person in general. I feel incredibly lucky to call him a friend. And a close one, at that.
I: So just a friend then?
Y/n: Yeah. Yeah, just a friend.
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letstevengrantsleep · 1 month
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Part Three
Previous part / Next part
Eddie Munson x reader slow burn
part summary: heated words are exchanged between you and Jake, big decisions are made, and bonds are broken
word count: 1,145
warnings: toxic horrid relationship, smacking (just the one, to the face, in the heat of the moment), swearing, ANGST
a/n: This chapter is kinda heavy so please be aware of that before you read it. I've got a humble little taglist going too so lemmie know if you want to be added to it okay thanks byeee xoxo
main masterlist series masterlist
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Your heart is pounding in your chest so hard you can feel it in your throat, following Jake to your meeting spot as the dread seeps in. He's gone silent, the tension in the air palpable as he stops abruptly to huff and practically slams himself down onto a park bench.
"What's going on, Jake?" You ask, knowing full well that it's a ridiculous question. You know what's up, you just don't want to admit it yet.
"I thought I was clear on the phone about how much last night upset me."
You want to roll your eyes, tell him he's being ridiculous and to get over himself, but something holds you back.
"I can't help it if I bump into people on the street, Jake." You really do try to keep your tone neutral but there's an edge of bitterness that seeps through the seems, soaking your words as they leave your mouth.
"No. But you have full control over whether you stop and have a fucking conversation with them," your name leaves Jake's mouth and it's sharp, harsh. It sounds completely unlike any way he's ever said your name before. It makes you recoil slightly, pulling a face at his words.
"You're overreacting." Sighing, you run your hands through your hair in frustration, "we've literally known each other less than twenty four hours, you have nothing to worry about here."
It sounds unconvincing, and honestly you're not even trying to make your words sound any different. What's the point? He's only going to accuse you of lying anyway.
"This is a fucking joke," he groans, voice rising, "I feel like I'm loosing you." His hand comes up to touch your face and it's involuntary, the way that you flinch back before he makes contact. You don't think he notices. "It used to be just me and you against the world, baby. Now it's like there's all these people in your head, everyone except me."
Oh God.
You can taste acid at the back of your throat, and you're convinced it's been brought on by this sudden show of affection from your boyfriend. You're not used to it anymore.
"Jake." You warn, pulling away.
"See?" His voice raises again, drawing attention from a few passers by. You wish the ground would just open up and swallow you whole. "I can't even touch you anymore. What's up with that?" There's that anger in his eyes again, glazed over like a bull seeing red.
All you can do is stare at him, not even knowing where to start with that line of conversation. There are so many reasons why you pulled away, where do you even start?
Fuck it.
"Do you think maybe if you hadn't ditched me for your friends last night then maybe I wouldn't have spoken to Eddie at all?" There's an edge to your tone but you're calm, way calmer than he is.
"The fuck you just say to me?"
"You heard me, Jake."
"I'm not having this conversation with you right now." He snaps.
That makes you laugh, really laugh. "Right," you nod, "because it only suits you to hash things out if you think I'm in the wrong, yeah?"
"Shut up," he grinds out your name through gritted teeth.
"No,” you shake your head, "actually I think I'll carry on. While we're at it, in fact, let's talk about other noted absences."
"Shut it-"
"-what about the time you left me for four hours to go speak to a 'friend' while we were at my graduation?"
"I mean it, stop-"
"-or the time you forgot to pick me up from the station after I'd been to visit my dying grandma, alone-"
"No."
"Or every time we go to Steve's an you leave me to go 'swim' for hours when you're actually-"
SMACK.
Silence.
The sound came before the sting, and it takes you a second to catch up with what's actually happened. Instinctively, your hand comes up to grasp at your cheek, eyes stinging with tears not through sadness or fear but because of the impact. Your heart is in your throat again but this time in pure fucking rage. Who the fuck does he think he is?
Jake says your name. Sheepishly. Quiet. His hand is coming up to meet yours but you move back, shaking your head.
"We're done." Is all you say. Voice stoic, mind made up.
"No, you're not doing this to me." Jake's stubborn, but so are you.
"Jake you just fucking hit me in a public park. We. Are. Done." You accentuate every word, making sure he understands how grave a mistake he has just made.
He says your name again, firmer this time. "We're not breaking up."
"Yes we are, Jake. You made that decision for us."
-
You're not even sure how you made it back home without a fight, dodging the main street in favour of side streets as the sting on your cheek got more and more aggressive. As you close the door you take a second to compose yourself, the silence of your home a stark contrast to the chaos of the park.
Taking a deep breath, you push yourself off the wall and make your way to the bathroom, your steps heavy and uncertain. The light flicks on after a moment and you brace yourself as you look in the mirror. There's no emotion on your face, you can't even bring yourself to look surprised as you glance at the deep bruise forming on your cheek.
Turning on the cold water you splash your face in an attempt to sooth the ache. As the water drips down onto your chin you look back at your reflection. The face staring back at you is angry, determined. This isn't about the bruise, this is about the betrayal. The broken trust and the realization that something had to give.
You take a deep breath, shaking out your limbs as you straighten your posture, stretching your neck with closed eyes. Somewhere in that bathroom you find a new sense of resolve, the determination not to take any more backwards steps.
The phone sits, quiet on the shoddy side table, and as you take a seat next to the window you catch it in your peripheral. For a moment you sit there, debating whether it's worth the trouble. If picking up the phone and calling someone is worth all the inevitable questions. Paralyzed, you mull it over a thousand times, each with a different outcome, before ultimately deciding that you're going to have to explain eventually, so why not now?
You grab the receiver, punch a series of numbers into the square number pad and hold it to your ear.
Ring. Ring. Ring.
"Hello?"
"Hiya, it's me." A beat while the person on the other end responds, "yeah, something's happened. Can I come over?"
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Taglist:
@sapphire4082 @twirls827 @bewr0210
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hamiltonaf · 1 year
Note
bestfriends to lovers lewis?🥹
Wingman | Lewis Hamilton
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Pairing: Lewis Hamilton x BF ! Female Reader
Word Count: 2.6K
Warnings: Slow burn
A/N: Hello loves ! Sorry for the delay, I believe I re-wrote this like 5 times because I had so many different scenarios in mind. I was so overwhelmed and finally settled on this. Nonetheless, I hope you babes enjoy. Requests are still open .xx
(Y/N/N) - Your Nickname
Nothing is harder than trying to hide your true feelings from your best friend. Well, theirs nothing to really hide considering how our relationship is, definitely not the same as my other guy friends. I’m fully convinced that everyone cracked that I have feelings for Lewis, except Lewis himself. Whoever said that guys and girls can be friends…they LIED.
Our friendship started about 2 years ago when Miles had introduced Lewis and I at Coachella. Miles and I go back a long way through our parents, we’ve been close ever since but just friends, nothing more. Miles knew about my love for F1 from early days and especially being a big fan of Lewis, he made sure that we’d meet some day since that’s his best friend after all.
I distinctly remember what felt like yesterday, we had the best weekend at Coachella and I was quite surprised how quickly Lewis and I grew on each other. Unfortunately, I rarely saw him since I had studying and work to do at the time, however that didn’t stop us from texting and video calling almost every day. That all changed earlier this year when I was done studying and I had a remote job so I had a lot more free time on my hands. I actually shared the news with Lewis first when I got my new job, he was so thrilled that he insisted that I now have no excuse not to attend more races.
What started off as friendly banter turned into flirting and teasing from time to time, if a total stranger saw us together they’d assume we’re a couple. Lol I wish. I have no clue what I’m doing wrong for him not to take a hint, unless he’s not interested in being in a relationship or worse case scenario… he has his eyes on someone else, but surely he’d tell me right ? I mean we’re best friends… or are we ?
That brings us to the present moment. It’s the Monaco GP weekend and you can imagine that almost every A list celebrity is here. Besides my love for F1, I’m a football fan as well - you can only imagine what would happen to my heart if I spot footballers in the paddock. Friday and Saturday are always quiet of course until Sunday strikes and the paddock is packed.
I was staying over at Lewis’ place for the weekend - no joke when I say we had a full on argument about me staying at a hotel when I can literally walk to the paddock since Monaco is so small. Of course he won the argument. Get my point when I say that people would think we’re a couple ?
It’s race morning, Lewis and I were getting ready not knowing what was going to occur the minute we’re about to leave. “(Y/N/N) are you ready ?” He called from the lounge. “Yep ! Just give me a sec” I yelled as I grabbed my phone and bag. I stopped in my track the second I saw that we were both wearing purple. “Are you kidding me ?” I said to myself. “You stole my look” he accused. “Excuse me ? I literally didn’t see what you’re wearing until now” I said defensively. “I’m just playing. You look beautiful and it’s cute that we besties are matching” he smiled. “Aww thanks Lew, but I have to change because everyone is going to think that we planned this” I said as I rushed back into the room to search for something else.
“Just forget about it, I’m changing as soon as I get to the garage in my team shirt and besides that we’re running late” he said as he grabbed me by my hand and pulled me along with him out the door to the elevator. “But Lew” I whined. He cupped my cheeks as he said, “Stop worrying about other people, focus on the positive..you got me and I’ll always have your back no matter what.” He gave me a quick wink and dropped his hands when we reached the ground floor. Not gonna lie that I had literal butterflies for those few seconds.
We drove to the paddock which didn’t take that long. I don’t know why I suddenly felt nervous, my hands started to feel clammy and I could already feel my body temperature rise. “Soo..you go ahead, I’ll meet you at the garage as per usual” I said as i stepped out of the car. “I was thinking we just go together” he smiled as he held his hand out for assistance out of the car. “Uhm are you sure ? People can be quick to assume things and start rumours..” Why can’t I shut up ?
“So what ? I don’t care, as long as you’re by my side” he shrugged. Aww. “Someone is being particularly nice today” I raised a brow at him as we walked towards the paddock entrance. “Pft..I’m always nice” he laughed. “On a normal day you test my patience to the limit with your banter, looks like someone is in a good mood. Don’t worry I won’t spoil it, I’ll make the most out of it” I smirked. As soon as we entered the paddock, we’re flocked by photographers and some fans taking pictures. In the moment I was so overwhelmed, luckily I had my sunglasses on the entire time so I actually ended up walking ahead of Lewis just to get to the garage faster.
I greeted a few mechanics, as well as Bono and Toto. We were lost in conversation that I actually forgot about Lewis coming back. Our conversation came to an end when all of our heads turned to Lewis greeting Neymar and Kylian. Oh my god. I was fangirling internally.
“No frikken way” I lowly said to myself. I started day dreaming and didn’t even realise that Lewis was next to me until he shut my mouth closed. “You’ll catch fly’s love” he half laughed. “Oh my god I can’t believe Neymar and Kylian are here !” I squealed. “You’re into football ?” He furrowed his brows. “Don’t pretend like you didn’t know - you weren’t the only athlete I kept tabs on” I lightly hit his chest. “That hurt my heart” he pouted. “Mine too considering you didn’t introduce me” I scoffed.
“No biggie, we’re meeting them later tonight” he said casually. “Say what now ? You’re lying” I rolled my eyes. Ain’t no way. “I swear” he said in all seriousness as he held out his pinky. “I’ll take your word for it” I linked my pinky with his. “In that case, do you think you could be my wingman ? I wanna know what the hype is about being a football wag” I teasingly suggested. “Uhhh..no” he straightforwardly said. “And why not ?” I crossed my arms over my chest. “Because then I’ll have no best friend” he lied as he walked ahead. “Don’t worry, if you be my wingman then I’ll be your wingwoman. I’ll find you a new best friend or better yet, a girlfriend !” I enthusiastically suggested.
“I don’t trust your taste” he said as he entered his drivers room. “Okay then let’s forget about me being your wingwoman. Put in a good word for me” I winked as I took a seat on the couch. “Yeah sure” he sarcastically said as he shook his head.
The day went by so quickly after that, before we knew it the anthem was over and Lewis was already heading out to line up on the grid. Just before he could leave he was talking to Toto for a while, then finally turned to me. “As per usual, I hope you have a safe race. Best of luck bestie” I said first. “And as always..thank you for your support. I really appreciate you coming to races (Y/N/N)” he smiled before pulling me in for a hug. “You could thank me by being my wingman” I played along. “Not this again” he said annoyed as he broke away from our hug. “Don’t let it distract you from racing” I joked. He rolled his eyes at me with a serious look before breaking into a smile, “Bye (Y/N/N) !” He trailed.
The race went by so quickly, pun intended. Lewis finished at P4, we’ll take it as a win considering the performance of the car this year.
Didn’t see much of Lewis after the race since he had media duties. Once he was done, we spoke about the race in general on our way back to his place. “Soo what are our plans for the evening ?” I asked as I laid on the couch. “Are you forgetting the part when I told you earlier that we’re meeting Kylian and Neymar ?” He raised a brow. Realisation hit me in the face. “Oh my god I need to find something good to wear” I squealed as I rushed over to my bag.
“It’s in a nightclub, they’re not going to see you” he laughed. “They will when you play wingman and I’m leaving with one of them. Mainly Kylian, Neymar is off limits because he has a girlfriend” I said as I continued searching through my bag. “How are you so sure about leaving with Kylian” he laughed. “Well obviously that will happen after you put in a good word for me about my love for football” I said in an obvious tone. “Hmm okay” he said with a smirk.
As Lewis got ready, I decided to do the same, I had a shower and sat in my robe as I did my makeup, and hair. Once I was done, I slipped into my dress and heels. “(Y/N/N) you ready ?” He called for me. “I’m just putting on my heels” I said whilst holding onto the bathroom counter top for support. “Wow” I heard him say from behind me. “You look- wow.. gorgeous” he said softly. “Aww really ? Thank you Lew” I pouted as I looked at him through the mirror. “Your rizz is literally showing through your outfit” I said as I turned around to face him. “I guess I should take that as a compliment ?” He asked with furrowed brows. “Of course it’s a compliment, I basically said you look so fine that you could pull anyone you wanted tonight” I admitted. I mentally slapped myself for telling him he looked fine out loud.
“If I heard correctly, almost sounded like you were hitting on me ?” He raised a brow. “In your dreams babe, let’s go” I said as I tapped his chest and walked past him.
When we arrived at the club, Lewis handed the keys over to the valet, that’s when we spotted Daniel or otherwise known as Spinz. We greeted each other as we all walked over to the doors of the club. “I won’t remind you again what the plans are for tonight” I mentioned to Lewis. “Don’t worry, I didn’t forget” he said with a grin. He’s acting sus.
As soon as we entered the club, we were escorted to the VIP area and that’s when I spotted Neymar, and Kylian. Oh my word.. unreal. Both of them spotted Lewis and walked over to us to greet him. I stood behind Lewis with Daniel, eagerly waiting to hear what Lewis has to say.
Lewis shook their hands and made some small talk before moving aside to pull me forward by my waist. It’s hard to hear over the loud music, but i oddly enough heard clearly every word Lewis said. “Boys, this is (Y/N), my girlfriend” he smiled. Sir, I beg your pardon. Girlfriend ? I knew he was acting sus. “Hey ! So nice to meet you both, I’m a big fan” I yelled over the music as I hugged them both.
“Great to meet you too. Lewis is a lucky guy” Kylian smiled. “Aha well, I’m a lucky girl” I joked. All of the build up to annoy him just died down. I really pictured having a full on conversation with both Kylian and Neymar but that also went out the window when I started to get frustrated yelling over the music.. I was actually starting to lose my voice. Besides that, I was itching to leave this place so I can have a talk with Lewis. Quite a relief that Daniel was with us so i had someone else to talk to in the mean time.
After about a whole hour, I started to get a headache and just felt the need to leave. I was seated in the VIP area with Daniel whilst Lewis was catching up with Kylian and Neymar not so far away. I walked over to him and tapped his shoulder, “I wanna leave” I yelled. “What ?” He asked as he leaned in closer. “Can we please go ?” I yelled once again. He nodded his head in reply. He briefly greeted them goodbye as I I did the same.
We walked in silence to the car until the car doors slammed. “Uhm care to enlighten me on what happened back there, boyfriend ?” I emphasised his new title as he then sped off. He stifled a laugh, “Well I got a bit- cough”. “What was that ?” I asked as I crossed my arms over my chest. “Can we just talk about this when we get back home ?” He asked as he looked over to me for a second. I didn’t answer back, just looked out the window. When we got back to his place, I jumped out the car and walked ahead of him to the elevator. “Can you stop giving me the silent treatment ?” He said as he stood across me.
I remained silent until we were in his apartment. I sat on the couch and crossed my legs over, “Was that really necessary ?” I narrowed my eyes at him. “Well I thought it would be funny” he smiled. I took a deep breath, “I- do you want me to be single and lonely for the rest of my life ?” I faked a smile. “Oh my days (Y/N)…can you not take a hint ?” He said annoyed. I stood up from where I was seated, “I assumed you were just trying to annoy me like you always do and tonight you did exactly that, but worse.” I walked past him as he then caught a hold of my wrist. He pulled me back and twirled me to face him.
“(Y/N), if it isn’t obvious enough..I love you.” I was left speechless. “I’ve fallen for you since we first met at Coachella. You caught my eye and I knew then that I always wanted you by my side. You made my day when you shared the news with me that you were finally able to come to more races, I thought it’s now or never. I thought I was pretty obvious about how I felt about you, even Miles knows this” he softly smiled. “That idiot knew all this time and didn’t tell me even after I told him how I felt about you. Anyway, never mind him. Why didn’t you say anything earlier after I told you to be my wingman for tonight ?” I furrowed my brows.
“Because I wanted to wipe that smirk off your face” he said as he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer against his chest. “To me it just sounds like you were jealous” I pursed my lips as I wrapped my arms around his neck. “I wasn’t jealous” he scoffed. “So then why did you call me your girlfriend ?” I raised a brow. “Okay fine, you win that, but… will you be mine ?” He asked nervously. “I thought you’d never ask” I said as I closed the gap between us, placing my lips on his.
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lilacgaby · 24 days
Text
day one
~2k
chapter select!
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i do not got this.
[name] could barely sleep because of her nerves. she kept replaying the worst scenarios possible in her head.
what if he rejected her in front of everyone? she'd have to leave the school from the embarrassment. she'd be trash-- the trash of society!
maybe she just needed to eat.
she crawled out of bed, put on her house slippers, and made her way down to the kitchen.
she saw a couple other early risers along the way, momo greeted her and congratulated her on her successful mission, and iida told her not to stay out past curfew.
same old, same old.
she started to make some chai to drink. "maybe momo would want some, i should make her a glass." [name] pondered out loud while preparing the tea.
she went up to give the glass to momo. "ah, thank you [name]!"
"no problem momo."
she then on her way down, eyed katsuki who was heading to the kitchen at the same time as her.
okay [name]. stay cool.
she poured herself a glass. he walked up beside her.
"yo."
"hey, you want some chai?"
"sure."
she poured him some in a glass, and he nodded appreciatively.
so far so good. she didn't even need a third wheel.
katsuki looked around as if to make sure no one else was with them, then he said...
"did you see when usui kissed misa, and jumped off the building?"
"yes! it was so cute, he really is the best."
"how did he not break his legs though? he should've broken a leg, it would've been such an easy plot point to develop. she could've taken care of him and gotten closer to him that way."
[name] thought for a second. "i mean, maybe the author thought it was too predictable though? you gotta read the next volume. what happens next is so cool!"
"no spoilers [name]."
she sighed. "it wouldn't be spoilers if you weren't such a slow reader. hurry up! it's literally pictures!"
"you didn't even finish ouran high school host club loser. don't talk to me."
"pfft. i watched the anime, who needs the manga?"
"the anime didn't even go in depth to all the arcs!"
"whatever man."
"do you even remember the characters?"
"yes i do! i'm not an idiot."
"then who's your favorite host?"
"kyoya."
"why?"
"because-" oh no. "because sometimes he reminds me of--"
"heya guys! what're you doing? flirting over here?" kirishima exclaimed. expertly cutting her off.
she really did need a third wheel. and she did need to thank kirishima and call him the manliest man in the world, because he really saved her ass.
"no, shut up shittyhair." katsuki remarked, before going off to the side to cook something.
'thank you!' [name] mouthed.
'for what?' kirishima mouthed back.
she facepalmed internally, but mouthed back, 'i'll tell you later.'
he did a signature smile, before going to pester bakugo.
she was saved, for now. she went to go get cleaned up for classes. she did her hair, a bit of makeup, ironed her clothes, and readied her bag.
now, to survive school.
✧˖*°࿐
luckily, she sat next to mina the entire day. unluckily, all the girls in the class were avid gossipers. which would've been great.. every week except this one.
normally [name] would never be nervous while gossiping. she could read others like a hawk, and if she didn't have shoes on, she could focus to an extent and feel their heart beats to confirm or deny whatever they're saying.
of course, she wasn't a bully. she'd only ever think about whether they were lying or telling the truth to herself. she just wished she could keep it to herself today.
"hey [name]." oh no.
"we all always talk about our crushes and stuff-"
stop please.
"so we gotta ask,"
mina please step up!
"we gotta ask why you're so respectful? like c'mon! live a little and talk a bit of trash about some people. there's gotta be something or someone you don't like." mina cut in, saving the day.
who knew the third wheeling would extend to people she didn't even have a crush on?
"uh, well it's not that i don't like people, it's more i don't wanna bother myself thinking about them."
"really? well, who don't you like?" damn it jirou and your good questions.
"mineta." phew, good save me!
"that's too easy of an answer, like, do you hate anyone from 1-b?" Uraraka asked.
yay another easy answer! "i don't hate anyone from 1-b."
the girls all seemed to accept it, phew, nobody ask the opposite and we're good.
"hey, but aren't we asking [name] the wrong question?" tsuyu suddenly said
no! not when i was just safe!
"oh yeah, [name]. who do you like?"
"b--"
"who's ready to learn?" present mic yelled as he jumped onto one of the desks in the front.
"get down. alright settle down and get into your seats. class is starting." mr. aizawa said, the commotion effectively covering her answer.
the girls all went to their seats.
                                     --------
the next hurdle was lunch time. piece of cake.
except for the fact that she'd always sit in between katsuki and mina.
no big deal.
everything started out normal. everyone besides bakugo did their best to not question [name] directly, as they found out only when it was directed to her that she'd be forced to answer.
bakugo was luckily never much of a talker himself, only butting in to defend himself or jokingly insult others, even though majority of his insults held no weight.
but sometimes they'd catch themselves in the middle of their sentences, and have to fix their speech before [name] would be forced to answer. the goal post was moved from not confessing to not making her answer any odd questions at all. because bakugo would definitely notice her robotic answers.
"yeah like, didn't [name] totally-- i mean uh-- didn't we all totally flunk that test?"
-
"[name] remember when we-- uh-- i mean guys remember when we snuck out that one time?"
"which time?"
-
"dude, the convenience worker totally has a crush on [name]! right [na--] uh-- everyone?"
[name] focused almost unconsciously, and she noticed that katsuki's heart beat was speeding up for some reason. huh.
-
"you idiots are acting weird today." bakugo said out of no where.
"what? pfft. no way." sero said, trying to play it off.
"you're crazy man, i mean.. we're all acting normal. it's you who's acting weird!" denki said, before laughing awkwardly.
"yeah something is definitely up. how many of you dumbasses are in on it?"
"what? bakugo you're being uh-- irrational."
"since when do you talk like that raccoon eyes?"
"uh-- since i studied?"
everyone face palmed at that.
"okay the jig is up. the fuck is going on?"
"uh.. gotta go. i'm uh-- real hungry! needa get some sun y'know? see ya!" [name] left before anyone could stop her.
mina followed after her, leaving denki, sero, and kirishima to use the collective 5 brain cells they have to try and convince bakugo that nothing was up.
she was so gonna owe them more than a dinner for this.
                                       ၄၃
[name] didn't know what lie they were gonna come up with. and to be honest, she really didn't want to find out.
as she sat on the rooftop, she let the chloroplasts out on her skin, which made her have a couple green-ish spots all over.
"eating really does help." [name] murmured.
"watching you eat is so crazy! i mean you're literally turning green!" mina said, eyes wide and wonder filled.
"...you're literally pink.. but okay."
"hey, can't we ask mr. aizawa to nullify the quirk while we're in class?"
"... mina that is the smartest thing you've ever said."
"cool! we'll need to update everyone at our daily meeting today. as long as he agrees we'll only need to worry about other times!"
"we should go now, before class starts."
"okay! you go ahead, i'm gonna go see what our other agents said to bakugo."
"agents?"
"just go!"
                                        ‧₊˚✩彡    
"um.. mr. aizawa? may i come in?"
"yes." he grumbled sleepily. he was in his sleeping bag, barely looking up at her.
"what is it [name]? is this to clear up about you being on the floor? because i really didn't care."
"uh.. no. this is about something that happened while i was on the mission."
"go on." she could tell that even though he seemed completely uninterested, that she had his full attention.
"well, you see, i was hit by a quirk. a truth telling quirk. and it's going to last for 6 more days."
"oh?"
"and.. i'd really appreciate your help. if you could nullify my quirk during just time when we're sitting in the classroom, it'd help a lot." she bowed respectfully as she made her request.
the room was silent as aizawa was seemingly thinking it over.
"sure, why not."
"thank you! i won't forget this!"
                                      ೀ
the second half of the day went by like a breeze. because mr. aizawa was cancelling her quirk, she lived her life in temporary peace for the remaining hours of the school day.
she smiled with relief, everything is going good now.
she cleared up her answer with the girls while she still could,
"guys, i don't have a crush on anyone. im just too busy."
and then she relaxed fully.
the walk to the dorms was easy, she didn't have to worry about dinner since she didn't eat, and she could always call an early night to get out of uncomfortable situations.
easy peezy.
she had no time to talk to bakugo for the rest of the day, since he had such an early bed time.
at last.. the daily meeting was here.
"alright guys! great saves today! here are the rankings for best agents. [name] would you do the honors?"
"yes. unless the honors is a person. i do not know them well enough to do them.
...
just give me the damn chalk."
mina held back a laugh while she walked up.
"okay, on the bottom we have.. denki."
"what? no way!"
"yes way! you were being way too obvious earlier! which brings me to my next loser: sero."
"no way, this is rigged."
"no it's not! what point of no questions do you not understand! anyways
next up, we have kirishima. amazing work this morning!"
kirishima bowed jokingly.
"and lastly, one for one, we have alien queen mina!"
"this is so rigged!"
"obviously she'd win, they're best friends!"
"sounds like jealously! anyways-- thank you [name]! take a seat."
[name] took a seat as mina resumed her place as the leader.
"okay agents! we have a new addition to the team: mr. aizawa!"
"what?" everyone said collectively.
"correct! i came up with the brillant idea for him to use his power on [name] during class time when we're all just sitting around. that's how i earned top spot!
so now, our sub-operation is this:
plan [name]'s perfect confession."
"what?" [name] scoffed, "that's not part of this operation!"
"and besides.. with what denki told bakubro earlier.. we can't go on with that yet."
"what the hell did you idiots tell him?!"
"we just said you were embarrassed because you have crazy woman issues and don't want anyone to question you right now!  he interpreted that however he did!" denki defended.
"hey-- i didn't say any of that. it was all you man."
"way to throw me to the wolf sero!"
"just get out! all of you!"
"meeting over guys!"
"mina what the hell?! i thought you went to make sure they didn't say anything super stupid!"
"i did! but it was too late.. see ya [n/name]!"
my life is over.
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