#little escape artist here lol

[emicat1159]

What about Aubriel, if she's not busy? Or Dabriel even? They might not be too busy!

"No!"

Child does not want to be babysat! Child must rebel! Also Aubriel is out on a mission somewhere, busy lady :(

Okay so basically since he's getting a sibling he's getting a bit older and is starting to want to do his own thing now, he's getting a bit- dare I say- rebellious? ;)

Can you blame him though? He's been living in heaven for his whole life XD

Here's a drawing of Dabriel and Raz hanging out as a lil gift tho :)

[arminsumi]

Can we please please please have more of bad boy Geto?? Sfw or nsfw as per your wishh

🔞 MDNI/18+

★ BAD BOY!

★ Pt. 1

★ Pairings : Geto Suguru / fem!reader

★ Synopsis : your boyfriend is a bad boy that your parents disapprove of 😈🏍️🖤

★ Warnings : 🔞 MDNI/18+, smut, cunnilingus, creampies, condoms/taking off condoms (consensual), riding his motorcycle 🥵, names (princess/baby/sl*t), some cervix rubbing/big d*ck Geto, toys (G-spot vibe), bl*wjob, degradation, corruption kink, daddy kink, breeding kink, mentions of being drunk (fluffy), +++

★ Note : i wrote this in public and felt super giggly abt it lol

— ★ Bad boy Geto Suguru who rumbles down your street on his bike, gloved hands resting on the handles, and stares at your house. He waits and quickly sees you trotting out the front door like a princess escaping her castle. He gives you a French kiss before saying "Hey princess. Hop on."

— ★ Bad boy Geto Suguru who has watched you ride his motorcycle — no no, not in the way you think. Panties soaked. Clit squished on the seat. Rutting back and forth. "That's a good little princess. Cum on it like it's my thigh."

— ★ Bad boy Geto Suguru who takes you to get your first body piercing. He leads you by the hand and his face is alight with a devilish grin. "I can't wait to buy you pretty piercings, baby. You're gonna look so good strutting around town wearing my diamonds."

— ★ Bad boy Geto Suguru who asks after suckling on your puffy clit for a whole hour; "Baby, I think you like me too much. You know I'm a bad influence, right?"

— ★ Bad boy Geto Suguru who lets you sit on his lap whenever you have to treat one of his black eyes. "Hey, you know what would make me feel better, baby? If you rode my lap like you ride on my bike 😇"

— ★ Bad boy Geto Suguru who makes it very apparent that he has a tongue piercing by rolling it over your clit and through your slit over and over. He laps up your juices after making you cum, and seductively wipes the streak of your slick off his cheek with his thumb.

— ★ Bad boy Geto Suguru who loves it when your secret kinks slip past your lips. "Did you just call me daddy?" he asks and you immediately blabber apologies, but he just silences you with a rough kiss, "I can be your daddy, baby. You just lay back and take it like a good girl, okay?"

— ★ Bad boy Geto Suguru who grins like a devil when corrupting you with new kinks, and enjoys turning your innocent kinks into something nastier.

"You're taking me so well." he praises you in a soft voice while his cockhead rubs into your cervix, "Can't believe your pussy can take so much cock. Such a greedy little cunt..." he puts his full weight on you when he nears orgasm, trapping you with his sweaty, muscular body. "Fuck, your slutty little hole is gonna milk me dry. You ready? Yeah I'm gonna give you my babies. Can't believe you wanna get pregnant. You just need a big cock stretching you out 'n that makes you happy, yeah? Aw, cockdrunk fuckin' slut... yeah I know you like it when I call you a slut, too. Nasty little slut. Take my cock, baby. Just take it."

— ★ Bad boy Geto Suguru who is also a tattoo artist and gives you your first tattoo. You have to hide it from your parents, and something about this fact makes Suguru smirk. He's put his mark on their precious girl — their daughter.

— ★ Bad boy Geto Suguru who gets off on the fact he's the bad boy corrupting someone's innocent daughter.

"Baby, you know I'm no good." he hums against your ear in an irresistible voice. "You shouldn't be sneaking around with me." he drops his voice lower and nibbles your ear, "You're being a bad girl."

— ★ Bad boy Geto Suguru who, when drunk with you, proclaims his love for you over and over and over.

"Fuck, babyyy I love you so much. Come here 'n gimme another kiss." and then he smothers you with kisses until you're making out on his parked motorcycle in the empty parking lot at night. "God, whenever I kiss you I feel like marrying you so bad..."

— ★ Bad boy Geto Suguru who treats you like you're a goddess. Wiping your tears when you cry about anything, murmuring "Please don't cry, princess." and also using this line on you when you cry from pleasure about how big his cock is, or when your eyes water when deepthroating him for the first time.

— ★ Bad boy Geto Suguru who, even after being kicked out of your house many times by your dad, still climbs in through your window to fuck you in your bed.

He fills condom after condom but then he checks his wallet and oops — he ran out of condoms. "I wanna take you raw, Sugu, please!" you paw at his abdomen and wiggle your pussy back down on his sensitive cock. He hisses through his teeth, "Fuck, okay... anythin' for my princess..." and plunges his big cock into you raw.

— ★ Bad boy Geto Suguru who has been shoved out of the front door by the collar of his biker's jacket by your disapproving parents. He makes a joke of it, putting his hands up as if he's being arrested and laughing naughtily.

— ★ Bad boy Geto Suguru who promises; "I'll come back for ya, princess." and he does. He whisks you away. You give him dolly eyes and beg to run away with him.

— ★ Bad boy Geto Suguru who stuffs a hot pink G-spot vibrator in your pussy before letting you straddle his motorcycle.

He smirks while riding, knowing that you're feeling the rumbling vibrations on your pussy as well as the buzzing of the toy stuffed inside you. Oh and he just loves seeing you struggle to dismount the seat once you're parked. "Bad girl, you made the seat all wet with your pussy." he scolds playfully.

— ★ Bad boy Geto Suguru who always unzips his pants tantalizingly slowly.

His heavy cock smacks against your cheek as soon as it's freed, it's always accidentally-on-purpose. "Sorry, princess, did that hurt?" he asks sarcastically while rubbing his tip across your glossy lips. "Spit on it." he commands, and you happily spit on his cock. "That's a good girl — kitten lick it. Yeah, just like that." he groans and tenses his abs. "Now open wide."

© arminsumi

I do not permit the copying/reposting/translation/plagiarism of my works. Do not steal what I've worked hard to create.

This is fictional work.

[fandom]

Top 23 of 2023

Have you been aching to get your hot little hands on 52 weeks of data around original posts, likes, reblogs, and searches, all weighted and ranked and tied up into categories with a nice little bow on top? Well, today’s your day! It should come as no surprise that Artists on Tumblr reign supreme: from stunning traditional art, jaw-dropping digital art, fanart, sculptures, textile art—you name it, basically—this year’s list shows that Tumblr truly is the home for art and artists. Thank you, Artists on Tumblr, for enriching our dashboards day after day. 

Rounding out the top three, we have two iconic shows: Good Omens is live-action, and The Owl House is animated, but both have a heck of a love story at their core. The second season of Good Omens blessed us with not one but two ineffably exquisite ships, while the final season of The Owl House broke and then healed fans’ hearts in equal measure. Thanks, @danaterrace! Actually, come to think of it, the Good Omens finale kinda did the same in reverse. Thanks to you, too, @neil-gaiman! We can’t wait for season 3. 

Speaking of heartbreak and healing, Our Flag Means Death’s second season offered both in droves. The entire cast gave stellar performances, and fans couldn’t have been happier to see the kinds of representation the show displayed. Last year’s #1 topic, Stranger Things, may have dropped a bit, but trust us, you wouldn’t know it from the amount of meta, fanart, and fics in the tag. And did you hear about the live-action adaptations of both The Last of Us and One Piece? They were a preeeetty big deal this year, too. Check ‘em out if you haven’t yet (lol, of course you have). And we’d be remiss not to mention the hugely dedicated fans, fanartists, and fic writers devoting their time to all things Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Y’all deserve a little pizza, as a treat.

2023 was also a year for blockbuster movies, which of course hasn’t escaped anybody’s notice here on Tumblr. Barbie smashed box offices worldwide and left us reeling with every re-watch. How can one describe Greta Gerwig’s pink-filled opus? It certainly is one of the movies of all time. Meanwhile, with its incredible animation and soundtrack, Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse introduced us to a whole new multiverse of Spider-People, opening the portal to a veritable flood of incredible OCs. And then, of course, we got a fresh perspective on an old classic when cinephiles introduced Martin Scorscese’s cinematic masterpiece, Goncharov (1973), to a new generation of film aficionados who resoundingly agree that it is, in fact, the greatest mafia movie ever made. We’re so glad this underrated film finally got the acclaim it has long deserved.

In the realms of gaming and tech, the long-anticipated Baldur’s Gate 3 has basically become everyone’s new favorite D&D/dating sim combination. Of course, the Pokémon franchise, games, shows, and Hatsune Miku collabs remain perennial favorites. Elon Musk’s purchase of Twitter, sorry, we mean of course X, made waves across the internet. Similarly, the Reddit blackout drove Redditors to new venues, and Tumblr users welcomed the folks from r/196 with open arms—we’re huge fans of your memes, y’all, and you fit right in. Welcome, we’re glad you enjoy the chaos. Here’s a fun fact: if we included post metadata in Year in Review rankings, #polls, introduced in January of 2023, would have been the #5 topic on Tumblr this year. Phenomenal. 

And, oh right. Taylor Swift had kind of a big year, what with the albums, the epic global tour, and the movie and stuff. Fantastic work, @taylorswift, the Swifties on Tumblr thank you for everything.

This is Tumblr’s Year in Review.

Artists on Tumblr

Good Omens

The Owl House

Barbie

Pokémon

Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

Critical Role

Goncharov

Taylor Swift

Genshin Impact

Stranger Things

The Last of Us

Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Elon Musk

196

Star Wars

Our Flag Means Death

Crowley | Good Omens

LGBTQ

Cottagecore

Baldur's Gate 3

One Piece

Aziraphale | Good Omens

[koolades-world]

just like lilith

Got inspo after that satan angst hc, here’s the link in case you haven’t seen it. also drew inspo from willow and lavender haze by taylor swift, my favorite normie artist LOL

hurt/comfort, happy ending :)

Loud crashes and bangs, followed by enraged, maddening screams echoed through the House of Lamentation late at night, a tell tale sign Satan was mad about something again. His brothers didn’t dare check on him and everyone who walked by kept as silent as possible. He really tried his best to not do that anymore, he really did. But some things just couldn’t be helped.

He toppled another bookshelf with both hands and knocked over another with the accidental lash of his tail, making him even more upset. Pages fluttered as the shelf hit the ground. He grabbed one book in particular that had been a gift from Lucifer and ripped it apart by the spines, throwing the halves to separate sides of the room. He hated Lucifer.

Stupid Lucifer.

Stupid Mammon.

Stupid Levi.

Stupid Asmo.

Stupid Beel.

Stupid Belphie.

Stupid Celestial Realm.

Stupid angels.

Stupid Devildom.

Stupid Lilith.

He didn't mean that... did he?

Diavolo, why did everything have to be so complicated? The name Diavolo alone sent him into another rage induced fit. He tore off part of his bed frame and threw it as hard as he could at the only mirror in the room. Despite it being enchantment, it shattered into hundreds of pieces. Part of the enchantment held up, as it stayed in its frame despite being in so many pieces. He snatched it off the wall and began hitting against any surface he could get his hands on. He tried his hardest to do any more damage to it, but it stayed intact.

As he tried clawing the mirror, he noticed himself again. Messy blond hair stood on it's ends. Obsidian horns curling out of sight. A ruddy face. Deep jade eyes, bloodshot and red in the whites. Tears actively fell from his eyes, streaking their way down his face.

When had he started crying? He saw hundreds of himself, each and every one coming to the same realization. He swiped his tears away. All of his mirror-selves followed suit. For once, he was unsure how to feel. He looked himself in the eyes, horrified yet transfigured to the spot by the sight of his own face.

He found his thoughts drifting and his rage slowly took the backseat. Was Lilith's hair as wispy has his? Did she have those little flyaways and that cowlick that refused to behave no matter what he did to it? Did she really have the same straw-yellow blond? Asmo always told him his eyes were breathtaking. Did he tell her that too? Were Lilith's the same? Did they reflect everything she felt? Were they really the same green, the green that could be both jade and emerald at the same time? With the same hints of yellow at the bottom the were reminiscent of the sun on the horizon before dawn or dusk? Was she also fond of beautiful things? He was sure if she was the rising sun, he was the setting sun.

Usually his fits were about Lucifer, and how he felt he could never escape his shadow. In the end, they were the same. Not this time though. This time, it wasn't even really his fault. If it wasn't his fault, who's fault was it then? Could he really blame his brothers for seeing their lost sister in him? They probably missed her so much it hurt. If she had survived, would they even want to see her like he was? He knew she would have taken his place as the Avatar of Wrath. If he and Lucifer were two sides of the same coin, what does that make Lilith to him? Were they the same face, or did were they too two sides of the same coin? What did that make Lucifer to Lilith once he was added to the equation? Did Lucifer subconsciously wish to have Lilith back? Is that why he was the way he was? Would he even be here if Lilith had lived? Would his brothers prefer that?

The thoughts were dizzying. It overwhelmed him. He threw the mirror as hard as he could across the room. It finally shattered. The tiny shards showered across the ruins of his room like snow onto a battlefield. He let his tears fall freely, and sank his knees in the small patch of moonlight coming in through his window. He let out an agonizing cry, one that everyone in the house could feel the pain deep from within. For once, his brothers felt bad. They would never understand. It felt good to get a little of that feeling off his chest. He wallowed in the silence after his shriek, until he heard a soft knock on his door. This caused him to snap to attention and growl at whoever was on the other side.

"Satan?" He heard an echo of the voice he knew so well. Their tone was gentle in a sorrowful way. No longer was it warm. This was waterlogged, droopy, like a small flower under heavy rain. "Can I come in?"

"Mc? Yes, come in." The door cracked. For a moment, he thought his brothers would be behind them, and that it was all a trap. But he was wrong. They were alone, still dressed in the fancy outfit from the dinner they had gone to as a family earlier that night. Their eyes were just as red as his own. They stepped into the small gap and shut it behind them. As they got closer, he noticed silent tears falling from their eyes. He got up and met them at the door, pulling them close to his chest. They began shaking, wracked with sobs. He quickly forgot about his own spiral that had taken place just minutes before. While he was raging, Mc had been out there somewhere, upset. He began to feel more awful about what he had done.

"What's the matter?" He ushered them over to his bed, one of the few mostly undamaged things. Part of his bed frame had been used to shatter the mirror, and at some point he had shredded a few pillows. They sat among this fluff, holding each other, Mc in his lap. It was silent for a while before Mc was calm enough to answer.

"I'm so sick of your brothers." They looked up at him with tearful eyes. He gazed back at them, knowing he probably looked exactly the same. "It's just... I love them. I really do. But I am so tired of trying to be my own person. I am not Lilith." Her name cut him like a knife. But as Mc placed their hand on his chest and leaned in, he could fell the cut heal. A small void within himself began to fill.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" He wiped away their tears that had been steadily falling, like he had his own.

"You must be tired of hearing that name." They couldn't even bring themself to look up at him anymore. He felt guilt seep in. He had never even considered that. They had been hiding everything from him to keep him safe. He cuddled them closer, hoping to shield them from all the pain. "Lilith must have been so sweet, but I am not her. You are not her. We are not her. I've seen the way your brothers look at us when we're together. It's like they don't even see us. It's only Lilith to them. Part of me wishes we never found out. Maybe things would be the way they were before. I wouldn't even be here if everything hadn't happened the way it did, and maybe you wouldn't either. But they just don't seem to care about that and it's sickening how obsessed they are over the idea that we are what they lost."

"What happened after I left?" He had an idea of how this had all started. He had stormed off to his own room after they got home from dinner upon discovering his brothers wanted to retake a particular photo they had taken with Lilith but with him and Mc where Lilith was. That was the whole reason behind the dinner, and he and Mc were the only ones left in the dark.

"I wanted to go after you, but Lucifer wouldn't let me. I didn't know what had started the argument in the first place, so I wanted to get to the root of it. Everyone seemed uncomfortable. I get it now. They were feeling guilty about what they had decided to do. They filled me in on everything after I screamed enough. I said some things that would have made you proud." He could feel them smile weakly against his neck. "I told them I hoped they were sorry for what they had done. I honestly didn't mean to be so harsh with my words, but I think it was the wake up call that they needed."

"What did you say?" He stroked their hair, laying his head on top of theirs.

"I told them Lilith was dead and that she wasn't coming back. Lucifer slapped me and the force sent me pretty far. The others tried to act like they were concerned, but it was just as much their fault as it was his. I refused to let them touch me. And then I came here." After hearing that, he pulled them off his chest to look at their face. Tears were still bubbling over both of their faces. The room was dark, but he could see the bright red outline of Lucifer's hand on their face.

"Don't do that ever again. Not on my behalf. What if you got seriously hurt? What would I do without you?" It was silent for a moment. He wasn't sure if he wanted to know the answer to his questions or not. "Where does it hurt? Let me make it better."

"It hurts here. And here." He watched as their hand ghosted over their face, and to their side, their back and their leg. He could feel fresh tears rolling down his cheeks. Holding them close, he muttered a spell that would take away the pain. Feeling them relax in his arms soothed him a little.

"I'm never going to let Lucifer near you again. I'm... scared. What happens if he gets his hands on you?" He wasn't used to admitting how he was feeling, but the moment felt raw enough to admit it. He took in a shaky breath and hugged Mc tightly like they might disappear.

"I want you to know that you're beautiful. Satan, the Avatar of Wrath. You're you, and nobody else. The man who established so many animals shelters across the Devildom. The man who got me through exam week time and time again. The man who took me in whenever I felt upset just to get away from it all. You are your own person, and I love you for that. I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you." Mc burrowed their head into his chest to place a kiss over his heart. At some point during their conversation, he had shifted from his demon form to his regular appearance.

"I could say the same about you. You're also your own person. You've been there for me more times than I could count. I love you too. All the love in the world wouldn't be enough for me to give you. I wouldn't trade you for the world." He began to smile for the first time that evening. Mc lifted their head to meet his eyes.

"I have an idea. Diavolo owns me a huge favor. How does a spontaneous trip to the human world sound? Just you and me, for as long as we need, and as long as it take your brothers to really miss us?" The mischievous glint in their eyes was something he was so familiar with. He met it with enthusaism.

"That sounds wonderful. Where would we go though?" He thought about the logistics quickly.

"While my first thoughts were my house or Serenity Manor, but once they realized we weren't in the Devildom, they would look there first. Diavolo has mentioned this small, cute beach house he goes to from time to time on his own. He would let us borrow it. It's barley big enough for two, but we could make it work. It's in the middle of nowhere. Perfect for us." The more Mc talked, the more Satan liked the idea.

"I love that idea. When do we leave?" Satan was never one to agree to spontaneous idea like this, but in the moment, it just felt right.

"How does in twenty minutes sound? We pack right now and disappear before your brother realize we're gone. Diavolo has to be awake right now anyways." Mc brushed their hands over his face. Tears had stopped falling. The stains lingered but they could only see each other.

"Let's do it. I'll take you to your room first, just in case Mammon happens to be in there." He stood up, and hugged Mc for a moment more before letting them go in favor of taking their hand. Satan knew he would be in for a fun time. He could always rely on Mc, no matter what.

[dollya-robinprotector]

FINALLY! DOLLYA CONCEPT

I'll have a little look back and remember how I came up with this current Sona design. The me of 2021 definitely would look at this and go "WTF???". When I search and place old drawings side by side for comparison, It's really been a process of changing my perspective on myself and constantly finding what I want.

It'll be very random and full of my old drawings, so if you don't mind a little rambling, welcome to go under the cut and go back in time with me!

Let's start with this design. As you can clearly see it was based on how I actually look irl, from the outfit, hairstyle to make-up.

Tbf this was not my first attempt to create a Sona, but it was a huge milestone because it's 2018, the year I got into my dream Art university and left home. My style completely changed, and this Sona showed it perfectly.

I drew this with my fingers, on my broken phone, to enter a Vietnamese clothes design competition, where we modernized some traditional clothes. What I did here is a modernized Nhật Bình. I won and got my design made into real clothes and sent to me. I'm still proud of it to this day XD

It was fun! I draw her almost daily, like how I do with Lya and Lyah in this blog. I used her to make friends with other artists. I even created a gender-bent version for her : D

But the uni life was stressful, especially when I entered my third year and tried to escape my parents' grasp. They were furious and threatened me, I started working extra and do commission to pay for my own living and rent, lessons were hard, and homework and projects were pilling,... As a result, I often use my sona to stress draw.

It didn't help much, my anxieties and insecurities kept adding to the molten fire inside me, and my overthinking got worse day by day.

But then at some point, I decided to separate myself from that sona. She turned into one of my many OCs, maybe more special but I no longer see my entire self in her anymore.

I have to thank my two besties for that. They pulled me out of my darkest moments and stayed with me. They remain to be my only two most important people in this whole world.

I started to "reuse" the sona appearance into creating many other OCs for many other fandoms I joined (Cookierun, HnK, FGO, KnY, Genshin,...). I had fun jumping between different styles lol.

The idea for the current design started to take shape when one day I drew her wearing a white delicate dress (I usually just do red) and a see-through sleep dress I just bought.

Something started clicking.

Then I became an assistant for an Ero Artist. Yup. I started to be exposed to more "sexy" character designs and tbh I just love those. I love drawing female characters already, but there's something something about cute and sexy girls in lingerie... If you know what I mean.

The design slowly became clearer. Cute and pristine-white, see-through lingerie, with little four petals flowers, and little bows, perfect.

The details still varied. They depended on the style I was using or my mood, whether I wanted to go into details or not. That's the fun of drawing your own design, let's keep it.

And here we are~ Maybe it's still not final, but I'm happy with it, and that's enough for me now!

If you've been reading this far, thank you and congratulations! I will send you a kiss and wish you a good day~~ Hope you're having fun scrolling on my blog~

[goodvibes24hrs]

Headcanons I shared on twt that I’d like to share here ☺️ (from 2023 to now):

Margo’s a 3D digital artist, Miles is more traditional, & Hobie likes to tailor his own clothes. They have days where they all occupied a single room and work silently together with music/a movie in the background.

Broke: Jefferson doesn’t like Hobie cuz his laces/punk, Woke: Jefferson likes Hobie cause he reminds him of Aaron.

Jefferson knows what it’s like to live in a tough environment. Does he approve of the things Aaron & Hobie’s done? No. Does he understand it? Yes! And he’ll be damned if he lets Hobie handled it on his own now that he knows about him 😤

And if I said Rio AND Jeff ask about Hobie all the time to Miles?? And if I said they’d tell him to invite him to the rooftop cookouts hM?? And if I said Rio & Jeff were the type of parents to always including any form of family gatherings with Hobie in mind, HMM?!

If Aaron was still alive, he would have loved Hobie.

Manifests in your mind Karl throwing Hobie over his shoulders and spinning him around really fast as they laugh.

Hobie’s the type to hold up & play music from a boombox outside Miles window to serenade him at 3 am. Jefferson from his window telling him to go home, Hobie cranks the boombox louder.

CyberPunkFlower hc: Margo & Hobie both being nervous to meet Miles parents and get surprised when Rio & Jefferson hug them at the front door (Especially from Jefferson who held both of them tightly in his hug) Miles had talked so fondly about his partners to his parents. He even explained how they both helped him escape the SS. Rio & Jefferson loved them before they even walked through their door.

CyberPunkFlower thought: Margo & Hobie being overwhelmed with how opening loving & supporting Miles’ parents are to them. They’ve both had a one to one moment with Rio/Jefferson that solidified that feeling of “You’re always welcomed in our home”. Margo being quick to accept their affection/attention vs Hobie being standoffish cuz he’s not used to this kind of positive adult/parental presents. Over time & some patience he’ll be accepting/used to it.

My singing voice hc for Hobie is Bakar (listen to his song Dracula 🎤👀)

PunkFlower/Morales Family thought: Hobie, bruised/roughed up from a battle, hoppin’ in to Miles universes to relax with him only to realize: 1. He’s not home & 2. Rio’s the only one home. Cut to Rio hovering over to Hobie & being worried about his injuries. Rio tends to his wounds (even after Hobie explains his quick healing). As Rio’s wrapping him up she talks about how much her son speaks so fondly about Hobie. Tell him embarrassing stories about her boy. Fun little conversations that will come back and haunt Miles lol.

GoldenPunkFlowerByte thoughts: Pavitr trying to help Rio in the kitchen, Miles preventing Hobie from stealing bites out of the pots, Margo talking with Jefferson and playing with Billie.

Hobie’s spiderband are the type to give each other tattoos. They give each other a heart tattoo 💙🩷💜💚💛❤️

Hobie’s the type to bring flowers for Rio & Jefferson when he’s taking Miles out on a date.

GoldenPunkFlowerByte: Pavitr, despite his size, is always the big spoon (He will jump if he has to hold Miles & Hobie) My guy loves to bury his face in his partners shoulders. He loves playing with the loose strands of Margo’s hair while she’s coding.

I really like the idea of not only Miles’ family meeting Hobie but also the Morales meeting Hobie’s SpiderBand cuz that’s his family. He grew up homeless & his band means the world to him. Rio & Jefferson would love this goofy bunch of misfits.

Hobie making Rio a dimensional phone cuz she “wanted to call and check up on you & your friends, Flaquito!”

To end it off: Before anyone comes here and says “Hobie’s an adult” pleases read these =

Tho Hobie does not have a confirmed age, he's been described most times as a teenager from 16-17 year old (I see him as 16)

[campbyler]

What are Mike and Will’s top three artists? (Idk if you’ve mentioned it before sorryy)

oooh i don’t think we’ve named specific favorites for them before!! i don’t know if we’ll be able to just name Three (edit: coming back to proofread after typing out this ask. i did not just name Three), bc to me acswy mike and will both have pretty varied music tastes — i think they’d both listen to a lot of different genres and artists, especially music that their friends/family/assorted loved ones introduce them to that might not be something they’d usually go for.

mike: we did mention in ch2 that mike has a demon days poster above his bed in the blue cabin, and while i don’t think gorillaz is one of his Favorite groups by any means, i do think he 1. listens to them a lot while driving specifically and 2. just reallyyyy loves their album art. to me mike is also such a pop punk enjoyer, so i think some of his go-tos include bands like all time low and paramore and blink-182, probably with a little midwest emo thrown in bc the boy did literallyyyyy grow up in indiana. i do also think he has a soft spot for feel-good pop, especially boyband music like 1D and BTR, and i think 5sos is not technically a boyband (or that they don’t like to be called one? iirc? maybe?) but i think he would listen to them quite a bit as well! really and truly i think mike would just like a little bit of everything, and his fav artists probably rotate a lot depending on his mood.

will: always a jeff buckley enthusiast across universes to meeeee, and the clear answers here are also the cure/the clash and other oldies rock OBVIOUSLYYYY but i think he would also totally dabble in typical Male Manipulator Music lol with likeeeee peach pit and pool house and the strokes especially. i think he’d also be into midwest emo (cannot escape his fate), and maybe also deftones and ptv a little bit (<- self indulgent and me projecting but i am not sorry). i think he also has a soft spot for pop, but not really in the same way mike does — for example, el definitely makes him listen to a lot of carly rae jepsen and the like when they’re together, and he also has a lot of good memories of listening to older pop songs with his mom when he was younger! like. he hits shuffle on his liked songs and it’s destiny’s child followed by radiohead followed by jenny by studio killers. he contains multitudes i’m afraid

[choicesficwriterscreations]

March Creator of the Month: Bayleedraws-sometimesx

Each month, CFWC highlights one of our talented fanfic writers or artists, and this month’s creator of the month is the lovely @bayleedraws-sometimesx!  The writer is selected at random. More info can be found on the navigation page. Past COTM's can be found here. Center photo by the lovely @bayleedraws-sometimesx!

Quick Links:

Tumblr Blog

How do you want to be known on Tumblr? 

Baylee

More below...

When did you start playing Choices? What was the first book you played? 

I think it was in 2018, and I first played Bloodbound 1. 

When and why did you join Choices fandom?

It was December 2020. I was really struggling at that point; my whole life had changed, and I still hadn't come to terms with it after a year. It was just an escape. 

How did you pick your blog name? 

It’s just my name and what I do. 

Pull up the first post in your archive, and tell us about it!  

It’s just a pfp i did over halloween. It’d me dressed like Sally from Nightmare before Christmas. 

Do you write fanfiction, create fan art, or are you one of those really gifted people who do both? 

I used to want to be a writer. I really love writing stories, I’ve never really written any fanfiction, but technically, I can draw and write. 

How long have you been creating for Choices and for any other fandoms?

It’ll be four years in December since I’ve been creating Choices-related stuff, but ever since I was a little kid, I’d get obsessed with different shows/ characters and write/ draw them. 

What is your favorite Choices book, and what is your favorite Choices book to create for?

My favourite book is definitely Bloodbound. I love drawing BB related stuff because I have a slight obsession with Kamiliah 

Share your first Choices fanfic or fan art that you posted with us. Do you still like it, or would you change it if you were creating it today?

It was a drawing I did for @ao719. I think I would change a lot if I were to draw it now. I don’t really like it anymore, and my style has definitely changed over the years.  I find it really embarrassing looking back at old drawings. 

What is your favorite piece of fiction or art that you created? 

A BB animation (I still haven't finished), but it was really fun writing the story and designing/ drawing everything. 

Do you have a creation that you didn’t expect to be well received, but it was? What about one you expected to do well but found it could use a little more love?

I never expected any animations to do well and was very surprised when they did. I’m really sure that I would like to get more attention. 

If you could only draw one style or type of art for the rest of your life, what would it be and why? 

I don't know. I’m moving into my own flat soon, so I’ve been drawing some scenery pieces I’m going to put up once I’m there. I find them really therapeutic to draw, so maybe that. 

Do you ever recognize yourself in any of your MCs?

Sometimes. 

What element of art do you struggle with most?

Probably finishing the pieces off. By that point I’ve stared at it for so many hours that all I can see are  the problems with it. 

Do you have any neglected work you really want to finish?

Absolutely, I’m going through a lot right now so there’s quite a lot of things that i really do want to finish but i just dont have the motivation. 

If someone you know in real life (who isn’t involved in fandoms) asked to see your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you show them first? 

Maybe. My big brother taught me how to draw, so occasionally, I’ll let him look at some of my drawings. 

16 - Are there any writers (published authors and/or fanfic writers) who influenced your writing or art? Are there any artists that influence you?

I can’t think of anyone published that I looked up to or have really inspired my artwork. There’s definitely people that i know in my life that have. 

Which one of your creations would you like to see fiction written about? 

I have absolutely no idea lol 

Do you write original fiction or create non-fandom art? 

Yeah, I love creating new characters and really animations doing animations of my original characters.

What other hobbies do you have?

A lot of crafty things. I was taught how to sew, knit, and crochet as a kid, and those are things I still enjoy doing now. 

[cyberpunkaddict]

2023 Letter.

Here we are again. It’s been a year since my last letter. This is my last post for 2023. I included a bunch of unreleased VP again.

Read the letter below:

This year has been a rollercoaster in many ways. It’s really easy to focus on the negative because it seems to take up so much space. But it’s important to take some time and think about the positive in life too to get some perspective.

Life is made up of tiny moments of happiness after all. ❤️

The Cyberpunk 2077 community is very important to me. "Stuff" we may or may not agree with is bound to happen no matter where we are, IRL or online. But no matter who you are, in the end we all want the same things; feel like we belong, make connections with people, escape real life for a while, have fun and feel safe.

I'm a broken record lol, but... Without you there wouldn't even be a community whatsoever. Thank you for being part of it and making it fun! ❤️

So, back to reminiscing on 2023...

If you know me, you know I'm a stubborn perfectionist. With that comes pessimism, but I’ve grown and gained a more positive outlook on life, which is something I’m proud of. It's not often I'm proud of something, striving for perfectionism and all, so admitting this is a huge achievement for me. I know I'm always gonna be a perfectionist when it comes to my art though, but that just forces me to be a better artist, so it's not all bad... As long as I don't overdo it, which is something I'm working on. My goal for 2024 is to stop being so hard on myself and upload more to Tumblr. ❤️

I started doing OC gif giveaways this year, and I definitely wanna do more, and not just gifs but VP too. I do these because I want to spread, excuse the cringe lol, happiness and positivity. I love to give back. It gives me purpose in life.

I started modding as well, which I wanted to do for months, but I was too scared because it seemed so complicated... But I did it. I'm proud I went out of my comfort zone for once.

So, Dear Everyone ❤️, once again...

Thank you for sharing your incredible art, writing, cosplay, mods, and the list goes on. I hope 2023 treated you well, if not, let's make 2024 beyond amazing! I want you to know that you make my day better no matter what is happening in my life. The simplest joke in a tag or a simple hi in a DM make me smile and laugh. And if this is how I feel, just know you make other people you've never met before feel this way too. I think that's pretty cool.

One day I might have to leave Cyberpunk 2077 behind, because that's how life goes sometimes. And that’s sad to think about... I’m not ready to put it behind me yet. At the same time it means that this community, and my OCs and yours will always have a place in my heart.

I will never forget you.

Here's to another year filled with lots of happy moments. ❤️

Bye 2023! Hello 2024!

Vicky

To everyone who made it this far, I have a little surprise... I’d like to do VP with one of your OCs. Comment on this post and tell me what you’re proud of in 2023. In a week-ish I’ll pick a random person (from the comments). :3

❤️❤️❤️

[archivalofsins]

Mikoto's Advertising Secrets

So, today Star and I are going to talk about Double. Yep, it’s another team up to tackle one of the most difficult characters in Milgram. Today we’ll be discussing the Japanese and English lyrics of Double provided by the staff. Along with some fun facts and observations we’ve made from them. 

Preface

This will be going over the use of (MeMe) in the official French and English translations of Double along with the use of and etymology of the term “Newborn”. Due to the focus on these phrases since the release of Double and how the fandom has treated official translations in the past… Star and I believed it only fair to give the same scrutiny given to past translations to Double. It cannot only be a mistranslation when it’s inconvenient to how one personally views the character then absolutely correct and unquestionable when the translation (regardless of how many creative liberties it takes) supports what one personally wants to believe. 

If anyone has problems with having these topics scrutinized fully and objectively then this is not the post for them. If anyone is interested in finding out more about linguistics both English and Japanese, MeMe and Double parallels, and a lot of things about Mikoto Kayano then this post might be for you. The way I word things has always been incredibly direct and that won’t be changing over the course of this post.

This post wouldn't be possible without the discussions and help I received from not only @apatchworkstar but @tsuwmya and @doctorbunny.

With all that out of the way- Are you ready? 

Okay, well let’s jump into it!

This may have spelling errors and may be edited at a later date to add more context. Just like Mikoto's song lol~

Hi, this is Star here- Starting off this post! Gunsli and I were discussing some of the information floating around about Mikoto- them with more people than me. I was mostly bitching discussing how I found it interesting that people were taking a step away from their habit of brutally eviscerating the official translations of songs to hyper focus on the wording of Double. 

Now, Gunsli and myself have been very open about how we both believe the original lyrics and the translations both help add necessary context to all of the songs and that neither is less than the other. However, it is a bit… Irksome for people to just pick and choose what they consider a valid conversion of information. Especially since translating is already something that can be hard to carry nuance over. It also hasn’t escaped my notice what the official English translation is being used to support. Which is also aggravating, with everything else into consideration.

So, I took out my copy of Double and did what fans have been doing for most of trial two- looking at the Japanese lyrics within the cd pamphlet and comparing them to the translation. And boy was that interesting!

Don’t worry~

Mikoto is an honest man, guys~ Come on, would a guy with such tiredness in his eyes lie to us~?

…So, his song's translation has to be the pinnacle of accuracy; all with little to no artistic liberties taken, right? Well- no. 

Literally, there wouldn’t be any point of making this as a post if it was.

(Gunsli: Don’t mind the underlined parts in the english lyrics for now. That comes in later.)

Firstly,

“I’m Double (MeMe)”

“Double” is the only line actually said in this statement. “(MeMe)” is never said within the lyrics of Double. However, given that it is in parentheses (something that is meant to add additional context to a statement), “(MeMe)” technically does not have to be said within the song in order to be put into the lyrics in this way. This isn’t a case of the english lyrics being inaccurate per se, but a case of the staff using english language and grammar in order to add context to what is being said. Something that’s not only done with the English translation, but the French one too.

So this is additional context; a rare treat for fans in the west! Now, when Gunsli and I were discussing Mikoto’s second trial CD cover-

Gunsli speculated that they added in (MeMe) to hammer in that there were, in fact, only two of them. Especially given how prevalent trikoto was/is as a theory. However, neither of us thought the staff would go so far as to just present this as something that had been said when it never was just to drive in the point further. 

In every other instance during trial two when the prisoners have referenced their previous trial songs, it’s been verbally- i.e. within the lyrics themselves. Anyone can hear it, and the lines are noted in their cd pamphlets + the inside of the cd case, even if they aren’t translated as literally the lines that are said to be there are there.

Mikoto is the only one who’s official translated lyrics reference his first trial song without him verbally referencing it. 

Making this a literal instance of, “He did not fucking say that.” Musical edition~ 

I guess you could say that Mikoto is the creme de la creme- or, to phrase it better an outlier even among other outliers. Which I find amusing as hell, considering how Mikoto is being treated in Milgram currently. Because, despite the fact that he does not verbally reference his previous song in any way throughout his trial two song, the staff still chose to frame it as though Mikoto had within these translations and visuals. Like how are you gonna call yourself an honest man, then be a bigger liar than Kazui Mukuhara! At least the text that comes up in Cat is actually sung by him!

But this is something that adeptly draws attention to Mikoto’s previously stated skills and hobbies-

Q.04 Are you picky when it comes to fashion?

Mikoto: Of course I am. Nobody would want to ask for anything from an unfashionable designer, right?

Q.07 What are your hobbies?

Mikoto: shopping / darts / photography / cycling

Q.08 What’s the most rewarding part of your current job?

Mikoto: I mean, it’s the top advertising agency in the industry? Anyone would be proud to be a part of it. I put a lot of work in just to get here, too.

Design, photography, and advertising. All things that require people to know, not only how to conduct and present themselves, but how to present others and concepts to people in a way that will be favorable and hopefully increase revenue and sales. 

So, why wouldn’t Mikoto pull out all the stops to present himself in a way that would get him a more favorable response after the train wreck that was his first trial? 

To be fair, when we were first discussing it, I didn’t really understand how tacking on (MeMe) after Double would make Mikoto look any better. Then Gunsli stated that outside of the meta viewpoint, we’d tackled already (which I had to bring to her attention)- That there was a second thing that made this translation decision interesting. 

The fact that it served to connect Mikoto back to the song at all. As though Mikoto is trying to haphazardly put his name or presence on someone else’s work. Gunsli put it best,

“It’s a great visual example of Mikoto tacking himself onto John’s pain. Connecting himself to his suffering in order to justify his actions and avoid taking accountability. Really homing in on one of the core questions Milgram as a facility and project has continued to pose to those that participate in it- Is one’s anger justifiable when they are getting angry at something that did not happen to them. Or is it simply a case of know-it-alls not being able to mind their own business? Or in the words of Mikoto from MeMe, “This isn’t too much is it?”. At what point does defending another person become too much? Can it really be considered protecting yourself if the self you’re protecting is their own person in their own right? Or is this just a new layer of self-justification that Mikoto has created in order to downplay how much agency he had over the situation. “I’m probably not to blame, it’s probably nothing. I’m probably just having a bad dream, I need to wake up soon.”.”

“All I did was dream, and that’s what you found GUILTY?”

(Gunsli here- This line isn’t even the only one they do this with when it comes to the translations. They also do it again with the word us at the start of the Double. “Just the two of us, relieved, aren’t you? I’ll protect you (us).” Once again using parentheses to give further context or emphasize unstated things.)

Now, I’m gonna leave the second half of this to Gunsli-

Secondly,

"The “newborn” other you."

Gunsli here and-

Man, I really didn’t think we’d be taking the metaphorical as literal. Especially after all the fuss around the visuals of I Love You but- I guess things are only metaphorical or literal based on how convenient it is for things to be that in the moment. If we took every instance that the word baby is used in any song as literally as newborn is being taken here music would be rather complicated to say the least. 

Yet, I guess since this is a Japanese phrase it’s a bit more specific than that. That this phrase is only applicable when discussing newly born beings and nothing else. Well, not exactly. Regardless of how specific a language is there are still instances where words and phrases will have different meanings based on the context they are said in. A good deal of people like to poke fun at English for being a mutt language and incredibly indirect, but every language has room for miscommunications or misunderstandings to occur. 

Because every language is the sum of a culture's collective history. All languages are always building off of themselves and evolving and certain terms that meant one thing to the last generation can mean an entirely different thing to the next. This is true in the instance of not only the Japanese phrasing of this line but the English one as well. 

So, let’s start with the English one. 

“Me, the newborn other you, I’ll take it all on.”

Firstly, me in this instance is ore in Japanese. In the context of Milgram we know ore is used when John is referring to themselves. At least this is the pattern that has been presented. However, it is not always the case. Ore and boku can be used to refer to each of them respectively and collectively. However, for the sake of this example, let’s say it refers to John.

Me (John), the newborn-

Okay, we’ve gotten to the main offender in this sentence. Newborn. In English newborn is no longer contextually used to refer to a baby/infant or someone who was just born. Also, it never only referred to that to begin with and has not been colloquially used in this way for some time unless one is referring to someone they know very little about having a child. 

For example,

“Where’s Janice from accounting? I haven’t seen her in a good while.” “Oh, you didn’t hear? She had a newborn. So, she’s on maternity leave.”

Even then this is still rather formal and outdated. An interaction like this is more likely to go. 

“Where’s Janice from accounting? I haven’t seen her around in a while.” “Oh, you haven’t heard she just had a baby. She’s on maternity leave.”

Alright but they’re translating from Japanese to English and using baby or infant in the context of the sentence presented would be odd. Yeah, that’s right, it would be odd. That’s why in the beginning, I found it strange to even look into this line in this context as though it could in some way even tangentially be related to birth or children. 

If it would be odd to add the word baby in this context, chances are that this probably has nothing to do with them or birth in the conventional organic sense of the word. 

But born is in the word. 

Okay, let’s do what we did with Neoplasm. Because, clearly the internet only taught some people one meaning of these words. 

So, bear witness to this real quick-

Bear: To support or hold up.

Gif made by Star

Double: ““No, I need to do more…”, say what? You’re gonna break. Me, the newborn other you, I’ll take it all on.” 

This is rather self-explanatory. To say that one will take it all on is to state their intentions to take on the burdens, issues, or stressors of another person or of a specific event. For example to take blame and face punishment for a crime one did not commit in order to protect another.  Mikoto is also shown in Double using the bat for support.

Bear Down: Proceed forcefully toward.

Gif made by Star

While making the gifs Star pointed out that the word next to the three arrows pointing at the assailant here is "Savior" in sloppy English. This is emphasized by having "Save you" appear next to the figure as they continue to walk forward.  Showing that (whichever one of them this is) believes themselves to be their savior and that what we see them doing here isn't an attack or them hunting the other down but them going to save the other.  Adding more meaning behind these lines, "Cling to me, hoist me up as your “savior”, stand up and sing out your gratitude, that’d be good." - "Cling to me, hoist me up as your “savior”, stand up and sing out your gratitude, so why?"

Alright, all of that is very interesting Gunsli. However, bear is not the word that we’re here to discuss today. The word is “Newborn”. What possible bearing could this word have on that? That’s a good question. It just so happens that one of the root words of “Newborn” comes from bear. 

Since the word comes from both New and Born. 

New (Old English Niwian, Neowian)

Fourth Definition: Bring forth. 

MeMe

“Why?” 

““I” will save “me”.” 

“Switch, shake up that brain.”

“Why am I here?  It must be a mistake right? Take a good look at me until you find me.”

Double 

“I’ve got you, leave it to me!”

““He’s a liar”, you said, and made me out to be a scoundrel, why?”

“Hey, I just wanted to save you, so why did it come to this? Cling to me, hoist me up as your “savior”, stand up and sing out your gratitude, so why. I don’t remember a thing, it couldn’t be helped, I’m DOUBLE (MeMe). I was having such a hard time, I was trying so hard.”

This is not self-explanatory. So, I’m going to take the time to explain what was going on in my mind when I decided to highlight these lyrics. I was interpreting bring forth in the context of switching. Mikoto is shown throughout MeMe to be looking for himself. Throughout the lyrics and the visuals. This is something reiterated through Double in a more chilling way. As it starts with what seems to be John being forced to the forefront due to Mikoto becoming too stressed. Something we see occur in Mikoto’s first and second voice dramas. 

John even making it clear from the beginning that he’s not out because he wants to be yelling,

“AaaAAAGH! Fuck… Fuck… STOP PISSING ME OFF!” While audibly stomping around and possibly messing up his hair the same way we see him do in Double. Basically, throwing a tantrum.

Couple this with his first cover song expressly stating that feeling ashamed which can cause stress and anxiety will open a role for an idiot to play (something we’ll go into after this) gives us a good understanding of what occurred in response to Mikoto's verdict. 

Something that if we didn’t catch onto John was more than happy to bluntly state to us in their second voice drama.

Neoplasm Voice Drama

“I (boku) might be trying to disappear.”

“Evidently, the time I (ore) have been fronting has been getting longer, so this “me” has been able to stabilize. Isn’t that the reason we can talk properly?”

The mental stress caused to Mikoto due to his previous verdict has led to him not being able to properly cope with the circumstances and drawing inward more as a result. Now fronting less and less as John (the one portrayed as being more used to stressful circumstances and better at holding things down) takes the forefront. 

MeMe

 “Hurting it, holding it down, it doesn’t change anything, does it?”

Double

““No, I need to do more…”, say what? You’re gonna break.”

Neoplasm Voice Drama

“Yeah. I… probably come out to ease the stress Boku experiences. The fact that I come out for longer just means that Boku is constantly under extreme stress.”

"The fact that you judged against forgiving Boku is causing a lot of stress.”

Depending on which of them has memories of the crime this could be a good thing. 

"That’s why he’s entrusting me with his heart."

This leads well into the next definition-

Ninth Definition: Substitute.

Double: “Leave it to me.”- “I’ll take it all on.”-”Relieved, aren’t you?”-“I’ll protect you (us).”

These are again things I find self-explanatory, but I’ll explain for the sake of clarity. These are all things one says when taking on another’s responsibilities or substituting for them. Usually someone is given a substitute when they cannot fulfill their duties for one reason or another. How John describes the current circumstances in Neoplasm makes it sound as though he is substituting for Mikoto because as he said in his second cd trailer,

“I can’t take it anymore…”

Monopoisoner: “As for who is acting strangely, look here, it’s already been decided that I’m the normal one, OK?”- “Do you have a preference for plundering? Because what’s being stolen away right now is your life. “How’s this? How’s this? What do you think?” Even though the outcome was understood from the start… The foolish you is already done for “nothing to see here, move on, pay no heed”.”- ““Please, bring to an end this world today” but that hole opens up a role for me to play. “Please, feel ashamed of this self from today” but that hole opens up a role for an idiot to play.”

gif made by @apatchworkstar

“You’re overdoing it, you’re already broken. But if you persist, I guess it’s my job to keep things on an even keel. Me, the other you, I’ll take it all on.”

In my opinion the Milgram staff could not make it clearer who the actual killer is at this point outside of the third trial just blatantly telling us if Mikoto gets as cocky as Mu did in response to his Innocent verdict. (Remember those underlined parts from the beginning of this post? Yeah, that comes in now.)

Literally each time he says the other you in this song Me comes before it.  Plus like Star established earlier the staff literally choose to shove (MeMe) in here when again it is not said to further highlight this more subtle aspect to oversea viewers. 

They basically made it so if you line up every time this phrase is said you just get-

“Me, the newborn other you, I’ll take it all on.”

“Me, the other you, I’ll take it all on.”

The title of the first trial song and they only put this phrase in twice within the lyrics to give this effect. Like this isn’t even a stretch at this point. They’ve gone above and beyond to highlight that Mikoto did that shit but we’re focusing on “newborn” right now. Moment of appreciation for the best translated lyrics of trial two. Like honestly the amount of information they had to shove directly into this man's lyrics due to his rather disjointed mv (that they still managed to get a lot of information in as well by the way) and still managed to get in is impressive. 

It’s actually jaw dropping when one takes the time to look into it.  

So, now that we have a bit of the history of the word “Newborn” how does it apply to this sentence,

“Me, the newborn other you, I’ll take it all on.”

Well given the etymology of Newborn we’ve learned a few things. One of them being that newborn is not only used to refer to recently born things but newly discovered concepts. Yet to reduce my own point a great deal we only need one source and one source only Merriam-Webster. Well, that and an understanding of English grammar.

Are you getting it yet? Well, if not here’s an English refresher in a form most Milgram fans should be used to music-

Now, I'm assuming you’ve watched both of those great videos. So, how is “newborn” being used here exactly?

“Me, the newborn other you, I’ll take it all on.”

That’s right baby, that word is being used in its adjective form not its noun form. Newborn is being used to describe the Me in this sentence the newborn other you. That is what the pronoun me is being described as in this sentence. So, what does that mean folks? Well, it means that Me in this context is not a newborn individual but instead a recently born or born anew construct or in this case self. Definitively showcasing that the newborn being referred to here cannot and never could in this sentence be defined as a newborn individual. At least that would not be the only meaning in its adjective state. 

There’s a difference between referring to a newborn and describing someone as a newborn. Be it oneself or another person. I know this is very confusing. I’m sorry and it doesn’t get any easier going into the Japanese. Something that even I am going to need help with and luckily can get help with. 

That’s later though all one needs to know for now is yes, the adjective state of the word may be used to refer to things that are not infants or newly born. Think of it like the word discovered. You know in the sense that Christopher Columbus “discovered” America. The word is kind of like that. Yeah, that’s the type of shit we’re getting into later. Yet, for now let’s keep things simple. 

A better way to explain this is by showing the synonyms and example sentences for the adjective state of this word,

Know who the adjective form of newborn perfectly describes out of the two? Could it be the tired, bags under the eyes, lethargic John or Mikoto Hypnos’ favorite human?

Man, is it “I’ve slept for twelve restful hours” Mikoto or John the one displayed as being soooo tired he passes out on public transport. Literally one of the most dangerous things a person can do.

I wonder who it could be…

If only we had a clue or a hint? (Or a bed for John.)

Ah well too bad. There’s nothing like that… I guess we’ll never solve this conundrum. It’s not as though newborn can be used to describe someone who has been reinvigorated or has come across a new sense of purpose or direction. It’d be incredibly awkward if that were the case. Because even ignoring everything else that would be a very nice and subtle way, still open enough to be interpreted a myriad of ways, for this series to highlight even further that Mikoto did that shit without blatantly saying he did. 

Luckily that English word only refers to organisms that have just been born and nothing else and no one will find any sources stating otherwise ever. So, it’s best to not look and we should all just do what Mikoto- I mean John said,

“Come to know me as an honest man, eat your words, gulp them down.”

Okay, but what about the Japanese lyrics?

“産声を上げたもうひとりの俺が、全部背負うから”/ Ubugoe wo ageta mou hitori no ore ga, zenbu seou kara.

One rough interpretation of the phrase in english could be,

“Born again, I (ore) alone will take responsibility for everything.”

So, why use newborn instead of born again?

As we discussed before, no language is that easy to grasp. There are multiple ways for various translators to interpret this phrase. Not all of them will give the same exact perspective on a phrase and their translations are prone to be influenced by not only their own personal experiences but their relationship with the work being translated. For example I had DoctorBunny help me out when it came to getting a grasp of the Japanese in this instance. 

During the process he said this,

“Trust me this is a very newborn invoking line. It's a saying basically used synonymously with being born. A favourite of foetus musician Mao Sasagawa.”

However, the example he gave was musical. This isn’t problematic or anything but it’s kind of easy to form a rebuttal against it. Something I’ll illustrate now- while answering that question I posed earlier with this song.

Born again in the west has a very religious connotation and even though the word savior is used within Double the staff probably didn’t want to tie Mikoto’s character that heavily to religion. Because as Mikoto has stated repeatedly he views himself as his on “Savior” and-

Q.19 Do you believe god exists?

Mikoto: I don’t believe, no. I don’t feel so strongly that I’m gonna deny the possibility but- Like, what do I gain from believing?

Taking into consideration how synonymous with religion the term born again is and Mikoto’s characterization thus far, would it really be contextually appropriate for them to translate it in that way for a western audience?

Definitely not. 

Especially considering the timing of his second song's release. Ya know- Being right after the most religiously involved character in the franchise. Those are the type of things a staff has to take into consideration when translating information into other languages for vastly different cultures. Again, the consideration and care put into the translation of Double in particular, is apparent in every line, every word said or not that they added in order to make sure regardless of the language one spoke everyone was getting not only a unique but as accurate as possible experience. 

Personally, I believe that the effort put in in this instance should not only be respected but lauded. For now though let’s give the Japanese lyrics some much due attention. Because they are just as good. 

Believe it or not that idiomatic expression is what led to this entire post. When I saw this I couldn’t help but think of a phrase in English that is the exact opposite of the one highlighted. 

“This will never see the light of day.”

To see the light of day is a common phrase that on top of being another synonym for being born means,  To come to existence or be made known.

It’s a rather colloquial way of describing something becoming known or one's desire to let something be known. Like in the example I previously provided. This is what caused the idiomatic definition to catch my interest. 

So, what is an idiomatic expression, well it’s a colloquialism basically. 

Idiomatic means to use, denote, or contain expressions that would be natural to native speakers. Meaning that to first see the light of day is a common way of using this expression to native-speakers. 

Yet, the technical use of the word is still related to the first cry or children. 

As a native English speaker when I say, 

“Things I hope never see the light of day again.”  “Man, I hope someone sheds light on your actions one day.” 

I and other native English speakers know I am not hoping for someone to get a light and shine it on that person or their actions but instead I want what they’ve done to either be known or ignored. This song is a perfect example of the concept.

Now, what made this way of viewing the information even more interesting is how Mikoto’s second trial mv plays with light in general. Double does this through its day and night cycles. Unlike MeMe that takes place during the night only and displays Mikoto sleeping through the day in Double, we see John up during the day and taking a backseat at night.

As Mikoto is shown to literally be committing these attacks at night again through the dark lighting on his side of the train. The visuals go out of the way to show his side of the train remaining unlit while John’s has light during the very first attack.

Double quite literally doubles down on playing around with lighting as a visual storytelling method. Perfectly illustrating to us that there’s something Mikoto did that he never wants to let see the light of day. Yet, it does see the light of as you can see from above. What was once happening in the dark comes closer and closer to light until the two are basically overlapping. 

As though looking in a mirror

Light becomes dark then Dark becomes light and eventually inevitably the two overlap-

As we see them face each other at the climax. One facing the reality of what they’ve done while the other isn’t even capable of facing themselves fully let alone their role in this.

“I’m probably not to blame, it’s probably nothing. I’m probably just having a bad dream, I need to wake up soon. Why am I here?  It must be a mistake right? Take a good look at me. Until you find me- Why, hey why, I’m nowhere to be found.” - ““He’s a liar”, you said, and made me out to be a scoundrel, why? All I did was dream, so you find me INNOCENT, it’s that simple right? Come to know me as an honest man, eat your words, gulp them down.”

Then there’s these meanings for the phrase as well (which should seem pretty familiar after all this)

2. To be burdened with; to take responsibility for.

So, remember Bear? If not, here are some of the meanings for it applicable with this definition here. 

Bear: To carry. To endure without resistance. To support, hold up. Carry a burden.

3. To have (something) in the background; to be in front of something.

Bear: Bring; bring forth.

With this we’ve gone full circle. Yet, that’s not the only interesting thing about this meaning. Applying the third meaning to Mikoto’s characters specifically could make this sentence a very artistic way of describing fronting. As we discussed before with Bear. (Can't believe I've got to quote myself from earlier in this post right now.)

“I was interpreting bring forth in the context of switching. Mikoto is shown throughout MeMe to be looking for himself. Throughout the lyrics and the visuals. This is something reiterated through Double in a more chilling way. As it starts with what seems to be John being forced to the forefront due to Mikoto becoming too stressed. Something we see occur in Mikoto’s first and second voice dramas.” 

That’s it we’ve done it that’s everything that’s a full fucking language loop. So, hopefully from this we’ve all learned a bit more about not only Mikoto but language in general. My hope with this is that it gives people a newfound appreciation for not only linguistics but the tremendous effort the Milgram staff have put in over the course of trial two. Now, with all that out of the way. I can finally say (in my opinion)- 

This case is closed.

Also, John in Double be like-

second gif edited by Star

Well, that's all if you made it through all of this congrats. Hopefully you've learned some new interesting things.

[itjazzbicch]

Let Me Love You

Pairing:  Manjiro Sano (Bonten Mikey) x Fem Reader 

(Every time I see Bonten Mikey, I'm just like damn this man needs some love lol so here we are! Hope you all enjoy!)

Warnings: MANGA SPOILERS! If you haven't read the manga and don't want spoilers, heres your warning now!

Smut! (18+ Only!)(Mentions of alcohol, unprotected sex, gets a little rough, creampie)

Summary: Following her skills in life much like the rest of her friends, the reader who loves music, becomes a professional singer and artist, not having much time to come home, but when she does come home, preparing for Pah's wedding the following day, she has an unexpected guest...

Word Count: 2.1k 

Life never goes as expected and knowing that I made the best out of it! I decided to follow my heart, do what I was good at, and ended up becoming an international singer and artist!

Never in a million years did I expect my life to turn out so good like this, although, traveling all around the world made it difficult to stay close to my best friends, I always stayed in touch, gave them tickets to shows when I could, and always made sure to see everyone when I was home.

I also had to make some things work, clearing out a week of my schedule to come home for Pah's wedding and stay for a bit, I needed the break. It was a great feeling being in my hometown, in the home where my heart was.

There was no escaping a little work, sitting at the computer in my office, sending out emails, and organizing things with the help of my assistant. I felt a bit guilty because this was supposed to be a break for him too, but everything was put to the side whenever he brought me water like I asked, sitting it down next to my mouse on the desk, nervous as he said:

"Also, Ms. Y/N, uh- there's someone at the door? He said that he was an old friend?"

Must've been one of the guys, thinking so, I took a quick sip, rushing, "Bring him in for me, would you?"

"Of course," He was so kind and obedient, heading out to grab my guest while I hurried to finish my last email, freezing in my seat when I heard, "Here he is. I'll be on my way now, so you can have time to yourself."

I was so shocked that I was shaking. It had been twelve years since I'd seen him with my own two eyes.

Mikey.

Draken and Mitsuya had mentioned to me before that he was still participating in gang-related activities, which wasn't a surprise. I didn't know extensive details of what Mikey had been up to and part of me didn't want to know.

"T-Thank you, dear. Get home safe," I swallowed down as my assistant left, standing up slowly, whispering while connecting gazes with him, "M-Mikey?"

"Long time no see, Y/N," It looked like Mikey surely needed a good night's sleep, but he put on the tiniest smile for me.

I thought I was seeing a ghost. Mikey and I were inseparable once upon a time, some could agree that I was closer to him than Draken used to be. Emotions from so long ago started rising, taking slow steps, needing to know that this was all real, hugging him and tightly.

No one has seen Mikey at all these past twelve years, and he came to see me? Why me? I had a lot of questions, but at the same time, I felt so relieved, hopeful that maybe this was the beginning of him coming back home and staying home. Letting things be like how they used to be.

The entire old gang was still together, he was the only missing piece.

It wasn't very much, but he did hug me back, patting my back softly, eyes glistening at me when I picked up my head, eyes full of tears:

"I'm sorry that I'm crying, I just-; I can't believe this!"

Those tears were happy ones mostly, beginning to smile at his little smirk:

"I know it's been a long time, and this was so sudden, but I wanted to see you."

"It's fine!" I assured, cleaning myself up, getting the door, and leading him out to the room where I entertained guests, guiding him to a chair, then to the bar, "You want a drink? I have just about anything you can think of."

"I'm sure you know what I like," He murmured while sitting back, eyes exploring his surroundings, "Nice house you have."

"Why thank you," I was getting myself some wine, a glass of authentic whiskey that I got from Europe on the rocks for him, "Music has brought me a long way."

"I've seen," In the corner of my eye, I could see him smiling at me. Mikey was the one person who could do the tiniest thing and I'd get flustered by it, even after twelve years that hasn't changed.

Distracting myself, I started singing to myself softly, finishing up the drinks and putting things away, and before I could turn back to him, I felt his arms wrapping around my waist, keeping me in a light embrace, whispering in my ear:

"I haven't heard your voice in person for so long. It's just as beautiful as I remember."

"It makes me happy that you think so," I smiled nervously, cheeks filling with heat, but paying close attention when he went on:

"I had been wondering about your songs lately, how many love songs you've made. Do you have some special in your life?"

I had no clue why he asked or how to answer because I didn't, thinking off the top of my head, "No, uh-, people are just suckers for love songs, you know? And a lot of my fanbase is young girls so-"

"Your nervous laughs and stuttering make me think otherwise," Mikey knew when I was lying, if I wasn't already horrible at it, he just knew, "But one particular song, I remember one of your lines, where you said they'll never know how good it feels to have your affection, never get to experience your love."

Despite all this time apart, he still paid attention to what I was doing, my music, and could still read me like a book, laying his head on my shoulder, mentioning:

"You haven't changed a bit, Y/N."

"It's not too late to get to know, Mikey," I whispered ghostly, holding his arms tight, feeling how he squeezed me tighter too, trying to get over all the emotions that were holding me back, letting Mikey know that he was the one who I wrote all my songs about, "It sure as hell looks like you need it too."

"Look at me," Guiding me around to face him, I was just trying to read him, remembering how he was holding me, then the darkness in his eyes.

All of that showed me exactly why he was here and now, I was more relieved that he was here. Before he could say more, I moved a strand of hair away from his face, holding his cheek:

"It's never too late and you're right, those songs are about someone special. It's you and I'm not afraid anymore to tell you that I love you. Despite everything, I love you, Mikey."

How the look in his eyes changed, you'd think no one had ever told them that they loved him before. He kept his composure, but I could see it in his eyes, then this snap.

I see that his speed never changed, reeling me in so quickly, his lips smacked into mine, so hungry and in need. It almost felt like he needed to be saved, just needed to know that someone loved him, and I was more than willing to be that person.

Kissing back and glancing for just a moment, his liveliness was coming back which made me smile against his lips, whispering:

"You don't have any other plans tonight, do you?"

"No," He huffed out quickly, hands latched to me, and with that green light, I sped up and there was no slowing down.

Not letting my lips leave for more than a second down the hall to my room. He had already shown me with his ways that he had experience, but this was different. Sitting him on my bed before straddling him, laying him back while kissing his neck, and letting his hand wander across my skin as clothes began to disappear.

It had been a long twelve years, filled with worrying about him so much, missing him horribly. I knew that he was no angel, but just him showing up, let alone this? My Mikey was still in there. Just buried deep and I was going to dig him out.

Both of us in just our skin, the hand he had on my hip began to push a little, ready to have me be the one on my back, earning a curious glare when I took his wrist, pinning him softly.

There was a slight tear in my eye staring down at him, but a soft smile on my face, positioning myself and kissing with a whisper:

"Just let me love you, Mikey."

Small gasps were against our lips while I sat on his cock, slow and steady till I had every inch, hands sliding from his wrists to his chest and pressing down, beginning to roll my hips, his hands finding my hips again, digging into its meaty side, hearing under his breath:

"You're so soft, warm-"

"And you feel amazing, Mikey," I moaned down into his ear, head resting on his shoulder, the desire for pleasure growing even stronger, making my hips rock quicker instinctively.

His silence made me wonder briefly, till I noticed how his legs shift, picking up his hips, thrusts matching my speed for a moment before going faster, how the tip of his cock was smacking my sweet spot, making my walls clench tighter, my moans louder, body beginning to squirm and nails sinking into his shoulders.

I saw the little smile on his face, when I picked my head up, flipping some hair away from my face because of the small sweats on my forehead, gasping for air, "M-Mikey-"

"Let me feel it," Holding the back of my head, forehead to forehead, his thrusts started coming even quicker, "Cum for me. I don't care if you make a mess."

"I'm right there, Mikey!" The second my walls pulsated; he kissed me with an animalistic side that I'd never really seen, even with all my moans and whines, kept going and dragging out the extreme high.

It was too good, making us both want more, so gone and lost in another world that I lost track of time. Just looking out the window at times, it was easy to tell that it was dead in the night.

I never knew I had this much in me, but knew I was reaching my limit.

Mikey had us on our sides, kept in a tight hug with one of my legs trapped in it, giving him the room, he needed to drill away inside of me. My head kept falling back with breathless moans, I was sure that I was barely breathing, a swirl in my head, the pleasure had turned me into a cock-drunk mess.

"Think you can give it to me just one last time?" I heard Mikey, but couldn't respond, having to hold my head up to ensure I was paying attention, "Come on love."

"I can," I breathed out hollowly, nearly crying at the tensity in my body from head to toe, squeezing his cock so hard that it ached some, begging him, "Make me cum, Mikey!"

I thought his grip was strong before till he showed me a whole new level, in a grip so tight that my whole body felt as if it had its own heartbeat, all the air I tried taking in stuck in my chest, able to hear the gush and slick against his cock, his voice nearly echoing to me:

"F-Fuck, Y/N. S-So damn tight. It's so good."

His hold on me loosened up and relaxing my leg on the side of his hip, nearly limp against his body, but still feeling everything, how his thrusts began to slow, hugging him and whispering with my head against his neck:

"C-Cum in me. I want to know how good it feels."

"Tell me then," He whispered back, pinning his hips against mine, moaning against the skin of his neck, feeling even hotter than I already did when his seed flooded my walls, so warm and deep, gasping but letting him know:

"It's the best feeling I've ever felt, Mikey."

"The best, hm?" He hummed, fixing my head so we could look into each other's eyes.

The longer I looked, even with tired eyes, I could tell something was different than when he first came, and that change was for the better. All I could do was smile, getting a real one in return, something I feared that I'd never see again.

I never felt so happy, knowing he wasn't leaving by how he laid back, keeping me to his chest and helping me with the blanket. All those hours together surely wore me out, yawning from the exhaustion, cooing before drifting off:

"The best feeling ever." 

[taestefully-in-luv]

Pick of the Patch | KTH 

banner by @persphonesorchid :]

Summary: You’re a struggling artist with a strong desire to escape so when your mother suddenly calls and asks you to return home to replace her in this years Harvest Festival dance, you never said yes faster. However, she informs you that you’ll be working with another dancer, Kim Taehyung and upon meeting, you decide you do not like him…but right when you think you could grow up and move past it, Taehyung makes it clear that he does not like you either

Pairing: Taehyung x female reader Genre: fluff, angst, smut, enemies to lovers Word Count: 20.9k  Warnings: swearing, some alcohol consumption, sad oc, feeling lost, feelings of regret, Taehyung is kinda an asshole (for reasons🥺), illness, character death, crying,  FLIRTING. smut warnings: so much flirting, little dirty talk, mentions of sex, sensual making out lol, oral (fem rec) vaginal fingering, protected sex, multiple orgasms, slight overstimulation, ass and breast groping, I think that is it.

A/N: sorry it is a day late, I had some personal stuff:] this is a part of the Autumn Leaves Collab! 

© taestefully-in-luv

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Every fallen leaf and any breeze that feels crisp enough to bite at your skin, sucks you into your favorite memories that almost feel forgotten. They’re not forgotten but with how hectic your life has been…well, yeah, almost. Summer has been replaced with the season that brings the most change and good god, you could use some change.

You left home years ago to pursue your dreams of becoming an artist—your mother urged you to follow that dream despite how little you visited home nowadays. Every phone call or text is just your mother continuously cheering you on and giving you the hope that you can be worry free. She’s good. She’s happy. And all she wants is for you to live your dream.

It’s too bad that the dream you wished for isn’t exactly all you imagined. Your art career was once thriving but lately…the last year or more…it’s come to a sudden halt. No inspiration, no motivation and when you do create something it lacks any depth—meaningless. 

You stand here, the sky painted in a light gray as orange leaves fly across creating an interesting mix of colors. Funny, mix of colors feels a lot like your mix of emotions. It’s been a while since you stood in front of your childhood home and it’s been a while since going to the Harvest Festival—you know, the entire reason your mom asked you to come back home for a bit. 

When you were a child the Harvest Festival was the most magical time of year. Who cared about something like Christmas when you had the season of change? Colors transformed, cool breezes ran through your body and soul and the most important thing of all? The Festival that brought this town together. Especially the Harvest Festival dance. 

You smile to yourself, eyes on the autumn decorations your mother put out in the yard. She leads the dance every single year. When you were a kid, you watched your mother dance beautifully to the sound of drums and wind instruments. You watched in awe, copying all of her moves and bragging to everyone that it was your mom. Your mom who made the feeling of change feel so welcoming.  

Your mom called you around a week ago. Asking about how your art was doing and you decided to be honest with her—it wasn’t going well. You almost wanted to cry into the phone but your mom only sighed out and a smile could be heard in her voice. “What perfect timing.” Is the first thing she said. And then she was asking you to come back home for a little while to replace her in this year’s Harvest Festival dance. She explained that she isn’t the same young and vibrant woman she once was…frankly, she’s tired. But what better than her daughter to take over this time around? 

You thought about it only momentarily. This was the perfect escape. So, here you are. Standing in front of your childhood home and trying your hardest to embrace something like a change. 

“Hello?” You call out, poking your head inside the house. It’s quiet but you’re immediately hit with the smell of cookies that you imagine are still in the oven or just came out. “Mom?” 

“y/n?” You hear the sweet voice of your mother before her body turns around the corner down the hall. She lights up. Smile so wide that you already feel like you never left home to begin with. “Hurry!” she waves you over, “You’re going to let all the heat out if you keep that door open.”

You glance behind you before trying to haul your luggage through the doorway, “Sorry, sorry.” 

“How was your trip?” She begins walking closer to you, “Long, huh?”

“It was fine.” You shrug, meeting her halfway to give her a hug. As she gets closer, it kind of hits you that you have been away too long. Your mother looks older than you remember, her skin duller and when she hugs you, it feels frail. But this doesn’t stop you from hugging her tight. You missed her.

“I lost track of time,” Your mom hugs you back just as tight. “So I still haven’t made up your bed yet. The sheets are hanging but I can—”

“No worries,” You pull away from her. “I can do it. Did you make cookies?” You begin strolling down the hall until you’re entering the kitchen and then you grin excitedly. “Oh! You did.”

“You haven’t been home in ages, of course I would make your favorite cookies to celebrate.” Your mom comes in behind you, “But you barely have time to eat any, you really should get going.”

“Huh?” You question her nonchalantly, your focus is on the tray of cookies that lay on the countertop. You start picking at a few but they’re still too warm. “What are you talking about? Go where?”

“The studio!” She swats your hand from the tray of cookies. “Leave them alone until they’re ready. You really never change.” She chuckles to herself. “Anyway, you were supposed to be there half an hour ago.”

You turn to face your mom, “What? I just got here.” You look disappointed. “I thought we could think of some dinner plans and maybe watch a mo—”

“—y/n,” She cuts you off with a soft smile, “The Festival is in three weeks and I doubt you remember any of the steps. Taehyung is already there, he’s been teaching classes for me lately. But he’s also in charge of the dance for the fest—”

“Who?”

“Taehyung. You don’t remember Taehyung, honey?” Your mom tilts her head, “Ah, well you barely came by the studio anymore by the time he was there…I guess that makes sense.” 

You blink at your mom for a few seconds before trying to gather your thoughts, “I’m confused.” You say slowly, “Why is Taehyung…” You trail off, kind of hoping your mom gets where you’re going.

“Oh. You two are both the leads for the dance.” She says like it’s no big deal, her busy hands already at the sink to wash a few dishes. “You’ll be working together.” 

“You never said I would be working with someone?” You come next to her, leaning against the counter. “You never danced with anyone?”

“Things have changed.” She smiles down at the dishes, bowl in hand as she scrubs. “We started incorporating group dances as well as solo ones. But this year, you and Taehyung will dance together. For the finale.”

“For the…wait, I have to dance with some person I don’t know?”

“It really isn’t a big deal, not sure why you’re dragging this on. Plus!” She takes a towel and starts drying the bowl, “You and Taehyung are going to really hit it off, trust me.”

“Hit it…mom. Are you trying to set me up?”

Her head whips in your direction, an exaggerated expression on her face. “I would do no such thing!” 

“Right.” You narrow your eyes at her. “So this Taehyung…”

“Oh he is just…a very, very good boy. He’s mature, talented and so incredible. Basically the son I never had!” She sings out cutely, “You’ll get along. I wouldn’t have asked you to do this if I thought you two wouldn’t at least get along, come on, y/n.” 

Well, that feels fair, you think. “Okay…so I’m supposed to be there? Now?”

“Well, 30 minutes ago.” She reminds you, “But knowing you, you were probably walking around the neighborhood, taking your sweet time.”

Your cheeks get warm because she’s right. “Not really…” You murmur but you crack a smile when you hear your mom laughing.

“Take my car. You remember where the studio is, right?”

“Yes, mom.” You deadpan. “I wouldn’t forget where that’s at when you’ve owned that place since before I was born.”

“It’s just been a while.” She still smiles at you but you feel a slight pang of guilt. It has been a while. Probably way too long. You wonder how much you’ve missed out on. 

“Okay, I guess I’ll be back later then?”

“Yeah! Taehyung will be there, you won’t miss him! Tall, handsome, has the sweetest smile.” 

“Uh huh.” You wave her off before slipping into the hall and finding the bathroom to quickly check your appearance before heading out. 

~

The dance studio your mom owns where she teaches dance classes is very nearby. Not even a 10 minute drive. The town has changed though, construction, new parks and cafés you don’t ever remember seeing…so you don’t actually make it within 10 minutes…considering you had to take a detour thanks to construction and you got lost. 

But finally, after 20 minutes, you make it to the studio. You notice the building has a had a paint job and there’s even a bench with a few potted plants outside the entrance. Cute, you think. You open the door and a soft ding goes off but it’s drowned out by the music coming from the back where the practice rooms are. You glance around, few decorations and framed photos of past students hang on the walls. A particular portrait catches your eye though. A huge landscape painting on the wall where the front desk is and you can’t help the heat in your cheeks as you gaze at it. You painted this back when you were in middle school…you can’t believe your mom still has never taken it down.

You walk slowly, legs taking you to the back to the main practice room where you know the music is coming from plus the voices of people. There’s maybe around 12 people back here, eyes going to you only temporarily before they’re going back to what they are doing. You glance around, feeling a little out of place, eyes going everywhere but in front of you.

“Yeah, ow.” A deep voice suddenly speaks up. Your head snaps up to see you might have stepped on some guys foot as you were walking. “Might help if you actually looked where you were going.”

“Oh shit” You blurt before looking around again but then your eyes go back to the man who stands before you. “Sorry, sorry.” You apologize immediately. “I—“

“Please show it to me again!” A girl wraps her fingers around this guy’s arm. “You know I am terrible at instructions.” She giggles and you look between them. This girl looks a little ridiculous as she fawns over this guy. He is attractive but damn. You find his eyes and his are already on you. He’s not necessarily glaring but you didn’t realize accidentally stepping on someone’s foot was this offensive. 

His eyes narrow at you before releasing a long breath, “Instead of being sorry you should use your eyes.” He’s cold with a harden expression on his face. Lips turned down. 

“It was literally an accident.” You say, trying to understand this guys problem. “So what? I’m not supposed to apologize?”

“You can do what you want.” He dismisses you, turning his body towards the girl before smiling at her. Yeah, smiling. Something you weren’t sure he was capable of. “Then why are you taking dance lessons?” He teases her. “It’s just to spend time with me, isn’t it?” 

“You caught me.” The girl laughs into her hand. Then her eyes go to you, “Uh,” She glances around awkwardly, “Are you taking lessons too or?”

“Oh. This is actually my mom’s studio.” You inform her calmly, trying to ignore the way the guy literally rolls his eyes at that. “I’m looking…for…” You look around the room when you spot a guy at the corner. He’s talking to two other people. Tall, handsome and has a sweet smile. “Never mind,” You suddenly smile while sighing. “Found him.” 

You walk across the room to introduce yourself to who you are sure is Taehyung…but your mom could have mentioned how broad his shoulders are! You get closer and his eyes find you and he smiles immediately. Yup, it’s him.

“y/n?” He asks. Well, at least he knows about you. “Your mom said you’d be coming in today! Said I had to have all kinds of good food for you guys. And told me not to show up if I didn’t have your favorite. Choco pies, right?”

“Oh.” You blink at him, surprised. “I do like them, yeah.” 

“Awesome. You guys have a lot of work to do.” Then he leans in to whisper, “No offense, without your mom…it’s a bit of a mess.” 

“Well, I guess we have to do a good job, right?” You smile for him. “When did you start teaching classes here? I didn’t realize my mom hired anyone else.”

He looks taken aback for a second, “What?” 

“Dance—“

“Dance?” He snorts. “Only craft I’m into is food.”

Now it’s your turn to look taken aback, “But she said…wait…who are you?”

“Right.” He snorts again. “Always forgetting people need an introduction. I’m Jin! I met your mom years ago when I started working as a vendor for the festival. I have my own café though. But your mom has me catering sometimes before the festival to give the dancers some good food to regain some energy.” 

“Food…Jin?” You pull your brows together, clearly you were wrong. You quickly glance around the room again before eyes go back to Jin. “You’re…you’re not Taehyung?” 

“Taehyung?” Jin laughs loudly, “Of course not! Is that who you were looking for?”

“Well, yeah.” You nod awkwardly. “I thought you were him, sorry.” You offer a sheepish smile but Jin just waves you off.

“It’s okay. Your mom brags about you all the time so I know what you look like because she’s shown photos. But no, I’m not Taehyung. Didn’t you already meet him?” Jin looks behind you before raising his hand and pointing behind you. “Over there?”

You’re quick to turn around, eyes roaming around the room but you don’t see anyone that could possibly be Taehyung. “No?”

“Taehyung isn’t hard to miss, y/n.” Jin chuckles and he points again. You follow his fingers and it points to—no. 

“That’s….” You turn back to face Jin. Cheeks hot. “That’s Taehyung?”

“The one and only. You guys are working together, right?” 

“Uh…” You shake your head, still confused, “You’re saying that guy? Over there? Is Taehyung? The super mature, handsome dude? That’s supposed to be him?”

“I guess he is handsome.” Jin rolls his eyes. “Anyway, do you want me to introduce you guys? Properly?”

You’re rushing to shake your head, rejecting the offer. “No, no.” You wave your hands around, “That’s okay. I think I can manage.” 

“Alright, well, I’m going to start bringing some things over. Good luck on today’s practice.” 

“Thanks.” You murmur before spinning in your spot and eyeing the man you met earlier. So that’s Taehyung…not what you were expecting. But it’s okay. First impressions don’t have to mean everything. You’ll just properly introduce yourself and things should be fine. Does it sting that apparently you accidentally stepping on his foot means he’s cold with you right before talking to some girl and flirting with her? Maybe. Because it was an accident.

But it’s okay. You move your feet and head back over to where Taehyung stands, hands on that girl’s hips as she tries out some moves. She sucks. You aren’t sure if she genuinely sucks or she just wants Taehyung’s hands on her. Doesn’t look like he’s complaining though.

“Hi.” You stop in front of them and the feeling of being irked only intensifies. Taehyung stops what he’s doing to close his eyes and take a deep breath but then he opens his eyes again and continues what he was doing. He completely ignored you.

“Hi…” You try again. But nothing. You motion your hand in front of his face, “I said hi.”

“Yeah, I have ears and I use them.” He finally mutters before glancing at you. “Unlike you and your eyes.” 

“I said it was an accident.” You try to speak calmly. “Anyway—”

“—And then you’ll want to put your left leg…no your other left leg,” He chuckles, the girl giggling along as he ignores you again to continue his lesson. 

“Wow.” You murmur to yourself. Nodding your head as you try to not to scoff. This guy is going to really start pissing you off. “So anyway, I just came to introduce myself since we will be—”

“—You know, I don’t think I have ever met someone this dense.” Taehyung’s hands leave the girls hips, his voice directed towards her but you know he’s talking about you. “Can you believe it?”

The girl laughs awkwardly, her eyes going to you before she whispers, “Are…are you talking about…”

Finally Taehyung turns to face you fully, his expression looks bored as he eyes you over. “y/n. Yeah, hi. No need for introductions. I know exactly who you are.”

You look at him in disbelief. “You do?” You ask slowly. “Okay.”

Taehyung raises his wrist and looks at his watch, “Wow, an entire hour late. You’re really the pick of the patch, huh?” 

“I just flew in today.” You defend, voice still calm. “My mom didn’t tell me I was supposed to be here until—”

“We have three weeks to make this the best festival dance anyone’s ever seen. But you can’t even show up on time.” Taehyung scoffs, “At least tell me you remember basic steps?”

“Like the ones my mom did in the past?”

“Yup.”

“Um, I think so. It’s been a while so—”

“Sure has, hasn’t it? When was the last time you came home?” He asks, an arrogant atmosphere clouding the area. “Or do you even know?”

“I’m sorry,” You try not to laugh, “Can’t help but sense some tension here.” 

“Oh, the spidey senses work unlike her eyes.” Taehyung tells the girl.

“I’m sorry, do you not like me for some reason?” You finally ask him right out. 

“Yeah, for some reason.” Taehyung dismisses you again, “Anyway, sorry Ida. I got to establish a routine with this one over here,” He motions towards you, “Work with Jimin when he gets here. He can help you.” 

“Oh, Jimin’s coming?” The girl—Ida—brightens before she’s walking to the other side of the room to join a few others. 

“Okay,” He takes another deep breath before facing you. “Show me what you remember.” 

“What?” You take a step back, feeling put on the spot. “I don’t know what I remember! Plus, isn’t it going to be different since we’re doing something…” you gesture between your bodies, “You know, together.”

“You should still know the basics, y/n.” Taehyung rubs his temples, “Don’t tell me you don’t even know that much? I can’t believe you’re Auntie’s daughter.” He looks genuinely disappointed. 

“Just…” Your cheeks feel warm, you try to remain calm but you’re feeling embarrassed. “Just show me, I’m sure I’ll get familiar pretty quickly.” 

Taehyung stares at you, his eyes boring into yours and you don’t let yourself feel intimidated. “Fine.” He finally says, “But if you don’t pick it up quickly, I’m just going to have Ida replace you.”

You scoff at this, “That girl didn’t even know which leg was her left leg.”

“And you don’t know how to use your eyes.” The corner of his lip lifts, “So are you really one to talk?” 

“Just teach me so we can get this over with.”

“Wow, look at you, saying things that I don’t disagree with.” Taehyung deadpans, “You have no idea how much I would also love to get this over with.” 

~

“How is it that you got the basic steps but you don’t know how to work with a freaking partner?” Taehyung groans while rubbing the top of his foot. “How many times are you going to step on me, y/n?”

“It isn’t my fault!” You whine, “We just aren’t in sync.”

“Because you don’t know how to follow my lead.”

“Maybe you aren’t a good leader.”

“Or maybe you don’t know how to listen.”

“You know what,” You plop your bottom on the ground, legs crossing in front of you. “Maybe we just need to take a break.” 

“A break?” Taehyung looks at you incredulously. “We have three-“

“—Yes, three weeks to perfect this dance between us. Yeah, you’ve told me like seven times now.”

“Do I need to say it an eighth for you to get it?” He sits next to you before he’s leaning back, spreading his legs and looking up at the ceiling. “This is a really important year, you know?”

“Because it’s your debut?” You joke. “Now that my mom isn’t the main one?”

“Your mom…” Taehyung sighs out, “Has made the festival special for years…people are going to really feel her absence this year and we have to be good enough as the replacements.” 

Well, someone’s a perfectionist, you think.

“And,” He continues, “She’s going to be a part of that crowd that watches and don’t you want to make her happy? Proud?”

You look down at Taehyung, he’s lying on the dance floor, arms resting behind his head. “Of course I want my mom to feel happy.”

“Then let’s do a good job.” He says. His eyes still on the ceiling and he speaks much more softly. “We can do that much for her.” 

“Okay…” you mumble. “But I think we’ve been at this forever. A break really could be a good thing.” 

Taehyung sits up, his head nodding. “Okay. Let’s head to the botanical garden, where the festival is taking place. Some of the other dancers are there, the group dancers are already practicing on that stage.” 

“Oh. It’s been a while.” You say, beginning to stand when you hear Taehyung chuckle humorlessly.

“Yeah, it has.” 

You glance at him but ignore his snide comment. “Anyway, there’s already festivities at the gardens, right? Like the hay ride and corn maze and whatever.”

Taehyung stands now too, “Don’t forget the most popular thing there.” He laughs a little, “The pumpkin patch. I was thinking of buying a couple to carve.”

“Not a fan.” You say nonchalantly, walking towards the mirrored wall where your bag is lying on the floor.

“Of what?”

“The pumpkin patch.” You shrug. “Pumpkins gross me out.”

“What?” Taehyung narrows his eyes at you, “You can’t be serious. It’s…pumpkins. It’s literally the thing everyone loves most? You can carve them? Paint them? Aren’t you an artist??” 

“Give me a blank canvas, please. Not a gross little pumpkin.”

“Are you really Auntie’s daughter?” Taehyung asks with big eyes, “Your mom loves the pumpkins! I swear she has like 10 outside her house right now.” 

“…How close are you with my mom anyway?” You ask him but he just blinks at you for a few moments before his gaze hardens again and he scoffs.

“A lot closer than you.” He turns to start leaving, “Let’s go.”

~~~

It’s around 8pm when you finally make it back to your house. You’re parked in the driveway, looking around to see a lot of different cars parked around. You don’t remember this street being that busy. You brush it off and open the trunk to pull a few bags of groceries. 

Hands full, because you’ll be damned if you made two trips and struggling to get the front door open. Finally, after a what felt like an eternity of struggling, you manage to get through the door. You announce your arrival in a sing song voice but you stop in your tracks when you see your mom and four other ladies plus one man seated in the living area to the left. “Oh.” You blurt before one of the bags falls to the ground.

“y/n!” Your mom stands with a huge smile, “You’re home already? We just got some coffee started…” She looks around, “My book club.” She finally explains. “We meet pretty often…I hope you don’t mind.”

“We get a little rowdy.” A woman with short silver hair raises a fist up, “We can’t help it.”

“Not rowdy, Soonja. Passionate.” Another lady speaks up. “You’ll scare away a potential new member when you use words like that.”

“So you want me to lie, Eunja?” The first woman, Soonja, asks with a smirk on her lips. “You told me to stop doing that!” 

“I meant when it came to if you actually read the chapter in the book!” Eunja exclaims, “And of course when someone asks how old you are.”

“I’m a woman. I’m supposed to lie about my age once my hair turns gray.” She waves her off, “Plus you’re the real liar. You dye your hair black.”

“I do not!” Eunja looks offended, “It’s natural.”

“Psh,”

“You’re y/n?” Another lady with long hair stands from one of the sofas, “Ignore them.” She smiles. “They only know how entertain us. I’m Jiwon.” 

“Oh.” You quickly give her a nod and smile. “Sorry I didn’t mean to interrupt.” 

“You didn’t interrupt.” The man says, “The book was getting boring anyway.”

“I beg to differ!” Another woman speaks up. “You just don’t have the emotional intelligence to understand the depth of this particular chapter.”

“And you do?” He raises a brow at her.

“I can’t believe they’re married.” Soonja scoffs. “Anyway, y/n. Your mom says you’re in town for a little while?”

“Uh, yeah.” Your arms hurt from the groceries you’re carrying. “Probably longer than my mom knows about.” You laugh and you catch your mom’s gaze when she looks confused before she’s smiling gently towards you. 

“You want to stay longer?” she asks.

“We can talk about it later.” You shake your head, still smiling. “Anyway, I should put these away! I’ll leave you all to it.”

“Sounds good!” Your mom calls out as you start making your way to the kitchen. 

It’s after 9pm now. You’re sitting at the humble breakfast table in the kitchen, fingers busy on your laptop as you search up some things. It’s hard to concentrate with the constant banter and laughter happening on the other side of the house. Soonja wasn’t kidding, they are rowdy. You’re starting to wonder if the coffee they’re drinking is spiked. But it sounds like they’re all having fun, including your mom. You’re glad she hasn’t been lonely.

That was the main thing holding you back from moving far away to pursue your art career. You didn’t want to leave your mom but your mom is the one who urged you to leave. She cheered you on and supported you in ways you’re always going to be grateful for. But seeing how busy she is, gives you comfort that she’s been okay all this time. 

“Wow,” Your mom walks into the kitchen after finally seeing her last guest out. “You know our book club is supposed to end at 8:30?! But I swear everyone loses their ability to read time once we’re together.” She laughs as she takes a seat next to you at the table.

You look at her with soft eyes, “I think I heard you guys talk about the book maybe twice.”

“Hey,” Your mom shushes you, “Don’t you know the book is only half the fun?”

“Half? That’s a little generous, don’t you think?” You tease your mom and she just laughs it off.

“They’re a fun group, huh?”

“Seems like it.” You agree with her, “When did this start?”

“Hmm maybe what? Four years ago?” She wonders and you feel your guilt deepen. Damn, how long has it been since you’ve returned here? You didn’t even know about this book club.

“Oh. Nice.” You murmur. “Oh yeah. I kind of, uh…well, I was thinking of staying for a while.”

Your moms face brightens, “How long is a while?”

“Maybe just 6 months or so. I think some time home could be good.” You admit to her and she softens.

“Of course. Whatever is going to make you happy, y/n. I know the house is a little cramped but we can make it work!”

“Actually, about that.” You eye her carefully. “I was thinking of getting my own place? Nearby, of course. But—”

“Of course!” Your mom cuts in, excited. “Your own space and privacy is very important. I know a few places around that offer short leases. I know you said money was tight so I will help in all the ways.” She grins at you. “In fact, I know a perfect place!”

“You do?” You widen your eyes, “For real?”

“Yes!” She reaches across the table for a sticky note and a pen and starts scribbling. “I know the landlord here so maybe he can offer something more affordable. And we can get some help to move your bedroom furniture and I have other furniture in storage from years ago!” She looks up at you, “You’ll have your own place in no time.”

“Oh, okay.” You blink at her, “This was easier than I thought.”

“Nothing should be hard, my love.” Your mom grabs your hand, “Mom will always help.” 

You pout at her for a second, lips jutted out cutely and she just squeezes your hand. “Mom.” You playfully whine, “I missed you.”

“I missed you too, y/n. But knowing you’ve been living for you…nothing makes me happier.” 

“I don’t know how true that is.” You laugh a little, “It’s not exactly going great.”

“What’s the problem?”

“Nothing I make is…good.”

“I’m sure that’s not true…”

“It is.” You chuckle, “I make something I think might be good but in the end I’m told that it’s not. At least I’m still selling some stuff. Someone out there must have bad taste.” You shake your head, still laughing. 

“I beg to differ. Your art is gorgeous.”

“You’re my mom.” You deadpan, then you sigh out heavily. “I just don’t think I’m in the mindset…a break is probably good, right?”

“Yeah.” She squeezes your hand again, “A change in scenery too. Maybe you’ll get inspired again. Sometimes you need changes to keep you going and to keep things evolving. When you stay in the same place for so long it can get stagnant, huh?”

“Yeah, maybe that’s it.” You shrug. “Anyway, I’ll go check out this complex tomorrow after rehearsal.” You take the sticky note.

Your mom’s eyes expand before she’s pinching your arm, “Speaking of! How did it go? You met with Taehyung, right? Such a good guy, isn’t he?”

“Uh.” You glance around, lip stuck between your teeth as you try to answer this without crushing your mother’s dreams. “He’s…something.”

“He really is something isn’t he?” She pats your shoulder now, “Be good to him, okay?”

~~~

Ha, bright and early…okay, 11am…but its two hours before the rehearsal meeting time and you cannot wait to see Taehyung walk in and see the inevitable look of shock on his face when he sees you. You’ve decided to come early so you can practice alone, you know, get a head start and also show how serious you are about this festival dance. He isn’t the only one who wants to make your mom smile because you guys are doing her role justice. 

You’ve already stretched and done a few warm up dances and it feels good, honestly. Empty practice room and a set goal in mind. Prove to Taehyung you’re not some lazy, incompetent daughter who doesn’t deserve to fill this role for your mom. Believe it or not, you actually used to be pretty skilled with dancing. Makes sense, you were a part of your mothers dance classes since you could walk. But sometime in middle school you stopped attending because your mom enrolled you in your true passion—art classes. 

It's almost 12 when you hear the footsteps of someone coming through. You turn your head to the side while doing some forward folding exercises when you see Taehyung making his way into the room. You sit up straight, a smirk so close to forming, waiting for him to express his genuine shock that you’re here and all the praises that come with it. But he only pauses for a moment, empty eyes on you before looking away and walking towards the mirrored wall to set his bag down. 

Nothing. No reaction. No readable expression. Literally nothing. You’re trying not to slump your shoulders but it’s hard not to hide your disappointment and you’re starting to wonder if you’ve always been a people pleaser. “Hey.” You mutter quietly, body folding forward again as you cup your toes in your hands. “You’re here early.”

“I like to come before everyone else to be alone.” He tells you while pulling a bottle of water from his bag. “But I guess that’s not happening.” 

You decide to stand and walk towards him, hands on your hip as you sigh out in defeat, “Look,” You try to look at his eyes but he will barely look at you. “My mom thinks we’re naturally going to, and I quote, ‘hit it off’ and we clearly aren’t. But for her sake I am trying to get along with you despite the fact you’re being,” You gesture towards him knowingly. “And she’s coming to the studio today to check things out so it would be great if you could act like you don’t hate me while she’s here.”

Taehyung stares at himself in the mirror, his own look of defeat gracing his features before he releases a long breath and turning to face you. “I don’t think I hate you.” He tells you quietly, a small shrug before he continues. “At least you’re here so it’s something. But getting along is an entirely different thing. But yeah, for your mom, I’ll be not so…” He gestures towards himself the same way you did to him just a second ago. “Cool?” He gives you a slightly annoyed look before brushing past you. “Let’s start practicing our dance. And if you step on my toes—”

“—I won’t! Seriously. But at least learn to treat what we’re doing as teamwork.”

“Teamwork?” He whips his head in your direction with a raised brow. “I lead. You follow.”

“That’s still teamwork, dumbass.” 

“Oh? Are we name calling now?” He asks you, his expression is still hardened and barely readable but the sound of his voice almost sounds amused. “What should I call you then? Something you’d really hate, right?”

“Say anything disrespectful like bitch and I’ll kick you—”

“Pumpkin.” He says the word slowly. “It works doesn’t it?”

“That’s…” Your expression tells all. A serious look of disturbance. “That’s somehow actually worse.”

“Perfect.” He grins at you. Yes, his lips have managed to lift up in your presence. But it’s menacing. “Then let’s start practicing now. Pumpkin.” 

You shudder at the hideous name, “You’re just not a good person, are you?”

“Do I need to be?” He asks before he’s stretching. “Also,” he lifts his head to gaze at you with curious eyes. “What did your mom mean by ‘hit it off’?” 

You feel heat creep up your body. Embarrassment. “Uh, like get along, I guess.” 

“Interesting.” He murmurs. “Different from what she usually says.”

“And what does she usually say?”

“That we should—”

“—Guess who comes bearing gifts!” Jin suddenly walks through with a few brown paper bags. “I made an assortment of fruit tarts for you guys today. Dropping them off a little early since it’s Saturday and the café gets busy. Going to put them in the fridge in the back!” He sings out, walking past you two. 

“I didn’t even hear him come in?” You wonder out loud.

“He’s sneaky like that.” Taehyung chuckles, “Anyway, you all warmed up? Ready to start?”

~

“Fine,” Taehyung sits down out of breath, “I’ll admit it, okay? Is that what you want?”

You stand in front of him, smirk on your lips with a look of pride. “Yes.”

“Fine. You improved. You’re a fast learner. You’re the best, jeez, what else do you want from me? Didn’t I say I lead and you follow?” He wipes some sweat from his hairline. “I felt like your little mistress, helpless in your arms while you spun me around.”

“That’s,” You start laughing, “That’s oddly specific.”

“Because it was a specific feeling. And god, it was odd.” He pretends to get the chills. “Anyway, your mom is going to be pleased with this progress. When did she say she was going to swing by?”

“I think around 4?” You glance around the busy room of others trying to rehearse their parts as well. “Not sure the time though.”

Taehyung looks at his watch, “It’s almost 4.” He lets you know, “We can take a break for a minute. Jin’s fruit tarts?” He nods towards the back. “They’re delicious.”

“Oh,” You’re surprised. Like he wants to eat them together? “Sure.” 

You both head towards a back room that has a few tables and the fridge. Taehyung pulls out two of the fruit tarts and hands you one. “The cream he uses is just…” He rolls his eyes in satisfaction. “Try it.”

You take a bite of it and moan into the treat. 

Taehyung’s eyebrows rise towards his hairline, trying his best not to laugh. “I mean, I knew they were good. But damn, that good?”

“Hi!” You hear the voice of your mom suddenly, you spin in your spot to see her coming inside the room. “I was told you two were back here! Enjoying a snack?”

“Auntie!” Taehyung lights up like he’s 8 years old and it’s time to open presents at his super hero themed birthday party. He goes up to your mom and hugs her, rocking her around while she pats his back.

“Hi Taehyung.” She steps back from him, “Are you eating well?”

“Yeah, I still have some side dishes you made stored away in my fridge.”

“Oh good!” She clasps her hands together. “Anyway,” She glances at the both of you, “It feels great to see you both in the same room!” 

“Mom…” You look at her unenthused.

“What?” She blinks at you innocently. “I know Taehyung agrees.” She winks at him but he starts to look how you’re feeling.

“Auntie…” Now he’s quietly groaning in his spot, also silently scolding her. “Have you been resting well?”

“Oh, you worry too much.” She’s shaking her head and waving him off. “But listen, I was thinking…”

“Thinking about what?” You take another bite of the fruit tart.

“If you wanted to make some money since you’re going to find a place…” She taps her chin thoughtfully. “Why don’t you teach some classes here? You and Taehyung can split the days and lessons. He’s swamped since I’m not as involved.”

“Auntie, it’s okay.” He tells her quickly. “I’m handling it.”

“I know you are.” She assures him with a smile. “But you’re over worked. And y/n knows enough to teach some lower level classes while you handle the more challenging ones?” 

“Well…” He bites his lips, recalling how good you were just 10 minutes ago. “Yeah, she probably could…I mean, if she wanted.”

“You’re not involved anymore?” You lower the fruit tart from your mouth. “Like at all?”

“No, I am. But I’m just so tired these days.” She continues to smile, “It’s hard to keep up with lessons when kids are running around me and I got to chase after them.” She laughs now. “But Taehyung is just great with them.”

Taehyung shrugs at this while giving your mom a sheepish smile. “It’s nothing really.”

“Oh.” Your eyebrows slightly furrow. “Sorry you aren’t as involved mom…I know this place is everything to you.”

Your mom softens at your words before she steps closer and cups your cheek, “No, not everything.” 

“Well,” You glance between her and Taehyung before nodding. “I can help out, sure, that’s a good idea. You won’t mind…right, Taehyung?”

“I thought my name was dumbass?” He tries to keep a straight face when you widen your eyes at him. “But sure. It sounds great. Pumpkin.”

~~~

It’s a small apartment complex. But Mr. Jung has shown you one of his available units and it’s exactly what you’re needing. Something simple and cozy. You look down at your list of requirements and see that you’ve checked off every single thing on the list.

“I like it.” You tell Mr. Jung. “When is the soonest I could move in…?”

“Well,” He closes the apartment door behind him as you two stand outside. “It might take a few days for everything to be approved but perhaps Thursday or Friday.”

“Oh!” You feel excitement rush through you. “That’s so soon.” 

“You are applying for a 6 month lease, correct?”

“Yes. I’m only in town temporarily.”

“That’s great. I’ve been looking for someone to fill this unit. Last tenant moved out almost 4 months ago!”

“I guess it was just meant to be then.” You smile. “Thanks for making time to show me around today.”

“Of course.” He smiles back at you. “When your mom called, I just couldn’t say no to an old friend.” 

And that’s how you got your temporary cozy apartment. Mr. Jung called you on Tuesday letting you know you’ve been approved and could move in on Thursday. And Thursday came fast. Jin and two of his friends helped you move furniture and helped you get settled into your new place. Taehyung couldn’t help since he was giving lessons at the studio all day. Not that he was wanting to help you. But you can tell he would give your mom a hand whenever she would ask.

Every time you think Taehyung could be warming up to you, you are just proven how wrong that assumption is. He’s given you nothing. Just talks about your dance routine, fake kindness when your mom is around and the annoying use of the word pumpkin. Other than that he ignores you.

It’s now Wednesday and approximately a week and a half until the festival. Exactly ten days and you’re wondering if you and Taehyung are ever going to master being in sync. You’re both decently skilled—him more than you—but you can’t seem to dance together. It’s probably the lack of proper communication…it’s mostly just annoyed looks and snarky comments. Or straight up complaining. 

You’ve taught a few classes today and your mom was right…chasing after a bunch of 6 year old’s is exhausting. But Taehyung asked if you guys could have a late rehearsal since he’s also teaching classes today. Neither of you had a chance to rehearse yesterday and you cannot fall behind. 

It’s almost 9 at night when Taehyung drags his feet into the empty practice room. He looks tired and you get it. You’re also tired. “Do you think we could get through the routine a few times without fucking up?” He chuckles quietly to himself. “Because I highly doubt it.”

“Well, if you’d actually listen to me and get in sync with me then maybe we could.” You retort quickly, not loving his attitude already.

“So it’s my fault I can’t get along with you?” He exhales tiredly, “Think you managed that on your own.”

You can’t help the scoff that leaves you, “Wow, Taehyung. Thought we were talking about dancing.”

“Whatever.”

“I’m tired of this.” You shake your head, words leaving you quietly in a mumble. “Why are you in such a bad mood?”

“I’ve had a long day.” He tells you. “Classes, errands, making sure things at the gardens is being properly set up—I’m everywhere all at once. Between the studio, the pharmacy—I just need to relax but instead I’m here with you and in a cycle of sucking at this routine. Because you can’t let me fucking lead. It’s not that hard. The entire beginning of our dance we’re not even touching, just have to be synchronized.” 

“And when we do have to touch you don’t even commit.” You say with a straight face. “I don’t know what I’ve done—”

“—You’ve done nothing.” He narrows his eyes at you. “And don’t you think that’s the issue?”

“What?” You look at him incredulously. “I seriously don’t fucking understand you. But look, we both want to do a good job, right?”

“Obviously.” He grunts, annoyed that this conversation is still going.

“Then get over your stupid disdain for me and dance with me.” 

Taehyung is quiet. He’s got a frown pulling down his lips, lips that won’t part to speak. His jaw clenches before he nods at you. Silent dancing, it is.

~

It’s the next day and you’re feeling happy that your last class ended at 3pm today. You know Taehyung has his last one until 4 so you’re sure he’s relieved about that as well. This dance has the both of you stressed out. After running a few errands around town, you finally make it back home to your apartment complex. 

You curse to yourself though…your frustration building as you stand outside your front door. The key code isn’t working again. You keep entering the code but nope, nothing. 

“You have to press the check mark.” A voice suddenly has you jumping in your spot. You’re quick to turn around, eyes going wide as Taehyung looks down at the number pad. “You didn’t press it. Are you seriously only remembering sometimes?”

“You freaking scared me!” You whisper shout at him. “What—what are you doing here?”

He glances around before answering you, “Uh, helping you?”

“No,” You shake your head, “I mean…like, what are you doing here? At my apartment?”

“You think you’re the only one who lives here?” 

“Huh?”

He looks the left and then points, “My apartment is like 3 doors down.” He tells you all nonchalant. 

“Your what…” Then realization hits you. “Mom.”

“I saw you struggling for like a solid 5 minutes.” His lips start to lift into a sly smile. “I was wondering how long you’d keep going but it was a bit sad.”

“You watched me struggle for 5 minutes and didn’t come help me?”

“Well, I’m here now.” He shrugs.

“After 5 minutes?”

“Should I have waited until after 10?”

“You. Are. The. Worst.” 

“It’s fine if it’s you who thinks that.” He shrugs again, “Anyway, the check mark. Not that hard Einstein.”

“Not that hard Einstein.” You mock him. 

Taehyung rolls his eyes and gives you a tiny salute before he is about to turn away from you to head to his apartment but stops. He looks down at his front pocket, patting his jeans until he is pulling his phone out and you watch as his expression grows serious.

“Hello?” He answers the phone quickly. “Yes this is he.” And then his face starts paling and he finds your eyes. “Got it. I’ll be there as soon as possible.” You stare at him in confusion when he grabs your wrist and starts pulling you. “We have to go.” 

You want to pull back from him and simply ask what’s going on but the look of sheer panic on his face is enough to make you lose words. He tightens his grip around your wrist and walks quickly and you’re struggling to keep up with him. “Slow down.” You whine a bit, “Where are we going?”

“That was the hospital.” He says in a rush. “Put your seatbelt on.” He says the moment you two make it to his car. 

“The hospital?” You ask cluelessly as you open the passenger car door and slip inside. “Why? Is everything okay?”

Taehyung plops down into the driver’s seat and starts the engine. “It was the hospital. What do you think?” He asks you curtly, “Seatbelt. Now.” He looks at you before he’s reversing from his parking spot.

“I’m confused. Is everything okay? Why did the hospital call you?”

Taehyung is breathing more heavily now, the situation stressing him out but he still finds the time to snap his head in your direction and look at you with disbelief. “Your mom.” He clarifies, hoping that is enough for you to understand.

“My…my mom?” Now you feel some of his panic start to seep into your own body. “Is she okay? Did something happen?”

“She collapsed.” He tells you, eyes on the road. 

“Collapsed? Why would she collapse? Did she trip on something?” You start feeling anxious, “Was she in some kind of accident?”

Taehyung’s brows pinch together, his own confusion growing as he sees how you’re panicking, you keep voicing your thoughts out loud as you wonder why.

“Wait,” You shake your head, pausing all the possibilities of what could have happened. “Why did they call you?”

“I’m her contact.” He tries to remain calm, “They always call me.”

“…Always?” 

Taehyung’s expression grows more confused until he isn’t confused anymore. He thinks he finally gets it. He thinks he’s finally understanding. He’s quiet.

“Always?” You repeat. “What does that mean?”

He keeps driving. Eyes on the road but suddenly he’s experiencing his heart sinking for what feels like the millionth time in his life. He pulls into the hospital and parks his car. He unbuckles the seatbelt and slowly turns in your direction. You look lost. And he thinks it’s because you are.

“y/n…” He says your name carefully. “Fuck…” He sighs out, “Do you not…”

“What?” You’re losing patience as you’re thinking of all the worst possibilities. “What’s happening? Is my mom okay? Did they say she was okay? Was it an accident?”

Taehyung gazes at you, eyes beginning to fill with pity. And then he’s dragging a hand down his face before he tries to speak again. “y/n…your mom…shit, okay. Listen, it’s…”

“Can you actually talk?” You snap at him. “You aren’t saying anything.”

“Your mom is sick.” He blurts it out quickly. And when you stare at him with a blank expression he softens in his spot. “…didn’t you know?”

“Know what?” You murmur.

“She’s…your mom is really sick. She has been for…since before I graduated, I think? She didn’t tell me until a couple years after.” He admits to you. “But…did you not know?”

“I…” You keep staring at him, not entirely sure you understand. “I don’t really know what you’re saying.” 

“Shit,” He closes his eyes, “Shit. Shit. I’m so sorry…” He lifts his hands to his face and rubs it over and over. “Fuck, I really didn’t know you didn’t…”

“Taehyung.” You say his name but your voice cracks. “I don’t really…” You’re in shock. You aren’t sure you’re processing what he’s saying. “What does sick mean…?”

“She…she has ALS.” He says softly, “They aren’t expec—”

“—What is that?” You continue to panic, “I don’t know what that is.” 

Taehyung feels his eyes sting, his heart breaking more. You really didn’t know. He tries to swallow before he answers, “It’s uh, It’s called Lou Gehrig’s Disease…it’s rare. Um, it’s like a nervous system disease and,” He pauses, trying to collect himself. “Fuck it’s uh, it like weakens the muscles so it’—it can be tough for her.”

“…Okay? So what does she need? Physical therapy?” You ask him, your eyes searching his and he wants to tell you that yes, she just needs physical therapy. But that’s not how this works.

“It’s…it’s not that simple…it can’t be cured.” He tells you regretfully, “I know since you’ve been here she’s been seeming okay. But it typically isn’t like this. There’s more bad days than good.”

“What?” You blink your eyes repeatedly, layer of tears forming.

“Sometimes she can’t even eat properly…it’s…it’s gotten worse this year. The doctors don’t think she will…”

“Will what?” You ask, your defenses rising.

“She doesn’t have a lot of time, y/n.” He tells you quietly, softly, regret in his voice and you don’t think you heard him properly. But you did. And that’s why you’re finally letting tears begin to drip from your eyes. “Hey,” He hesitates but his fingers brush against your cheek, “I know this isn’t easy. But your mom has been so strong and she’s just tired now, y/n…they didn’t even think she was going to live past 5 years—“

“—Stop” You cut him off, tears still spilling from your eyes but you can’t even blink now. “Just stop…she’s sick? She didn’t tell me?” You look into his eyes and he can see your anger. “She told you but not me?”

“I know,” He doesn’t move his fingers from your face. “I know. But…she probably just didn’t want to worry you or something, I don’t know. But she has her reasons, don’t you think? You are your mom’s world.” He whispers. “And right now she just needs you next to her.”

You finally slam your eyes shut, more tears streaming but you try to hold it together. “She’s here?” You choke out. “Can we see her?”

“Yeah.” Taehyung finally lets his hand drop. “Come on.” 

~

You want to be angry because you are angry…technically. But more than anything you’re shocked and just completely sad. Taehyung walks close to you, his arm brushing against yours and he keeps glancing at your every 5 seconds. He’s worried and you almost want to laugh because you never thought that there would be a day that he would be worried about you.

He stops suddenly, his hand reaching for your wrist to stop you from walking as well. “This room.” He tells you softly, “It’s here.”

“Oh.” You look at the closed door.

“You want to go in alone?”

“No.” You shake your head slowly, “Be with me.”

“Okay.” He nods, his fingers still wrapped around your wrist when he guides you more towards the door. He uses his other hand to knock at the door before cracking it open. After a moment he opens it all the way. His eyes grow tender when he spots your mom. “Hi Auntie.” 

You just watch him. He looks experienced. Like looking at your mom who lays in a hospital bed isn’t something new and the thought makes you feel crushed. You finally gather your own courage and step through the room and look at her for yourself. 

Your mom is sat up in bed and you want to sob. Because she looks the same. A gentle smile on her face and eyes that shine with so much love. “Hi, my love.” She calls out for you. “Come here.”

Taehyung lets go of your wrist and your feet stumble forward. You don’t think you see even an ounce of regret on her features. She just looks genuinely happy to see you and you can’t tell how you feel about it.

“You okay?” She asks you, her head titled up. “I know this might be a little surprising.”

You actually scoff. “A little?” You repeat her choice of words before scrunching your brows together and you know she can see the look of betrayal on your face.

“It’s okay if you’re mad.” She tells you, tone nice and soothing. “I’m fine with the decisions I’ve made.”

“How…” You pause to take a deep breath. “How could you say that?”

“I want you to live your life, y/n.” She tells you like it’s simple. “I wanted you to live your dream but if you knew…” She closes her eyes for a moment, her own emotions visiting. “I didn’t want to be a reason for you to hold yourself back.” She tells you. 

Taehyung watches as you stare down at your mom and he’s understanding so much now. He feels guilty. Beyond guilty. He’s treated you like such an asshole. But he thought you knew about your mom’s condition and still chose to be so far away. He had no idea you were clueless. It hurts to watch your mom having to had suffer for so long already but now he sees how you’re suffering too. 

“So we are going to keep her a few days.” The doctor neither you nor Taehyung noticed speaks up. “You know the drill already Mr. Kim…we need to monitor just for a bit.”

Taehyung glances at the doctor before nodding. “Okay. I can go grab a bag for her.” He says, “I shouldn’t be gone too long.”

“No,” You turn to look at Taehyung, your eyes shining at him with unfallen tears. “I’ll go. I just need to make a bag for her, right? Some of her things?”

“Oh.” Taehyung’s eyes go to your mom and she just nods. “Okay…are you sure? I can go, y/n.”

“I want to go…I need to just…process.” You admit to him as you walk closer to him, “Alone.”

~

You’re standing in front of your childhood home again but the mix of emotions you’re feeling are nothing like the ones from the other week. You almost don’t even want to walk in but well, you have to.

As soon as you step into the house, instead of the scent of cookies, you get hit hard with the scent of your mother. You walk further into the home and it’s like she is everywhere. You’re suddenly hyperaware of how this house is not just a house but your mom’s home. 

You walk down the hall and stop outside your mom’s bedroom door. You don’t think you’ve been in here for years but you’re sure you’ll manage finding her belongings. You creak the door open and your eyes go wide when you enter the room. You look around, from her comforter to her nightstand to the art on her walls. And your face twists into one of devastation. Mouth hanging open as the tears truly break. Your art. Your paintings. They hang on her walls.

And this is the reality. Paintings that you knew weren’t good enough. But bought by an anonymous buyer…here they are, proudly decorating her room. And this reality crashes into you. Feeling every ounce of every moment you have spent away from her. From your home.

You stumble towards her bed, body falling to the mattress and you bury your face into the blanket. Tears soaking the material as you sob. You cry until you can’t cry anymore.

~~~

The house feels lonely since your mom is still at the hospital. It’s Saturday now and you know you have to get up from this bed and drag your sad ass to the studio to rehearse with Taehyung. But getting up sounds like a lot of work. You wish you could quit the entire festival but you realize now why Taehyung has made such a big deal out of it. He isn’t being a perfectionist because it’s his debut. He just wants to give your mom the best festival because it will probably be her last.

That last thought makes you heart sink but this is the reality and you aren’t sure you want to spend your time sulking and wasting precious time on things you cannot control. Instead, you finally throw the blanket off you and get ready. Because your mom deserves the best festival of her life. 

You’re sure the studio is busy as usual, you’re a bit late but Taehyung didn’t try to reach out to you so maybe he’s distracted enough with a pretty girl who doesn’t know left from right. But you’re wrong. As soon as you walk into the building, you see Taehyung sitting at the front desk before he lifts his head and wide eyes land on you.

“You came?” The two words tumble out quickly. He stands from the chair and walks around the desk to get closer to you. “I…” His eyes slide to the side, “I wasn’t sure you were going to be up to rehearsing today.”

“You’d chew me out if I didn’t show up.” You shrug at him, eyes still swollen. “Don’t need to add to the list of things you don’t approve of me.”

Taehyung sucks his bottom lip between his teeth as an inevitable look of guilt falls over his face. “I don’t…” He pauses, eyes studying you and he realizes he’s probably lost any chance of redeeming himself. You don’t like him and it serves him right. 

“We can take it easy today if you—”

“—that’s the last thing I want.” You show him a joyless smile. “I’d rather work extra hard. I don’t know,” you give a huge, exaggerated shrug. “Maybe work so hard I pass out and actually get a little sleep.” 

“No passing out.” Taehyung lifts his lips a little, “But you know, if you’re having trouble sleeping maybe I could he—”

He stops when he sees how you raise a defensive brow, “How could you possibly help? Look, no need to suddenly be nice to me because my mom’s dying.”

“y/n… I wasn’t—”

“—Actually, you knew about that already so why are you suddenly being nice to me?” You narrow your eyes for a moment but he’s lost for words, not entirely sure what to say and then you connect the dots. “Right.” You click your tongue. “You thought I knew about her being sick, right? You thought I was just some selfish daughter who didn’t care about my mom’s health and left her to live my life!” 

“y/n—”

“—Like, wow. You didn’t even give me a chance. You just automatically assumed I was some selfish, heartless person. You wanted me to be like that in your eyes?” You continue to glare at him but he immediately parts his lips in panic.

“No! Trust me, no.” He shakes his head as he gazes at you. “Trust me, the last thing I wanted was to think that way of you.” Then he lightly scoffs to himself, “I didn’t want to disappointment my 12 year old self like that.” 

You pull your brows together, “You didn’t want to…what?” and then you shake your head, feeling tired all over again. “Anyway, let’s just practice. I also…” You finally find his eyes again before expressing your mental defeat. “I also want to do well.”

~

Monday and you’re panicking because the day of the festival dance is only 5 days away. You don’t think you and Taehyung have improved your synchronization. When you guys do moves that require him to have his hands on you, he’s always hesitant and it looks painfully awkward.

“Have you never touched a girl before?” You finally huff out, getting frustrated over another failed attempt at the routine. “This isn’t middle school.”

“I just…” He groans, feeling just as frustrated as you. “It’s kind of hard.”

“Yeah, a woman’s waist is really the most difficult thing.” You roll your eyes before jogging towards the mirror to grab your bottle of water. 

“We haven’t as much as high fived before, y/n.” Taehyung deadpans. “How am I supposed to feel comfortable touching your body? When I don’t know what’s comfortable for you either?”

“Are you really overthinking this much?” You look at him incredulously before bringing the bottle to your lips and chugging the water back and then you pause and pull the bottle away from your mouth. “You had zero issue grabbing onto Ida’s hips when you helped her.”

“Ida is into me. She wants me to touch her like that.” He shrugs, “You on the other hand, I’m afraid I’ll…” Taehyung’s eyes go all around the practice room, cheeks heating up. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” 

“You’re that worried about it?” You set the bottle down. “Fine. Okay.” You nod, look of determination on your face. “Let’s fix that then. If we don’t this is going to look awkward as hell.”

“Fix it how?” Taehyung looks at you, confused.

“Let’s get comfortable with one another. We could do some exercises to help.” 

He raises his brows, mouth opening to speak but he closes it again.

“What?” You walk back to the middle of the practice room, standing in front of him, “Don’t tell me you can’t even do that?”

“I don’t even know what that is? Like, what do you mean?” He finally asks.

“Oh.” You realize you don’t necessarily know either, you were just going to wing it. You glance around the room until your eyes land on your hand. You lift it to your face and inspect it before you nod. “This.” You say before showing him your palm, urging him to hit it with his own. “You said we hadn’t as much as high-fived before.” You finally smile. “We could start there.”

He stares at you before he’s snorting. “Seriously?”

“What?” You smirk at him, “Should I have asked you to just hold on to my waist until it finally feels comfortable for us?”

And for the first time ever you think you see Taehyung blush. “You’re something…” He looks off to the side, “But honestly,” His eyes go back to you. “I think we could start with talking.”

“Talking?” You lower your hand. “About?”

“I want to apologize.” He tells you sincerely. “I know even if I try to explain my thought process it doesn’t excuse how cold I was with you.”

“Not really.” You whisper. “I guess I just don’t like how you assumed I was so heart—“

“—I didn’t want to think that, I promise. But after a while, I kept battling my thoughts. How could you not have known? That’s what I kept asking myself. Why would Auntie just not tell you? That didn’t ever cross my mind so eventually I thought…yeah, obviously y/n knows but she doesn’t care. I wasn’t just dismissing you. I was mad at you.” He takes a breath, “Because I didn’t want my opinion of you to be true.” 

Taehyung takes a step closer to you before adding, “But I was shocked you showed up for the festival this year. Your mom told me she asked you to come and I didn’t think you would…but you did. And I wanted to just be angry but I hated it that you actually showed up because I was like, maybe I was wrong and she does care…that sounds stupid, I know you care but I just thought you…I don’t know.” His voice gets quieter. “I was wrong. But I don’t know if I’m happy that I was wrong. Because it means that you didn’t know about your mom’s health and that also feels fucking sucky. I’m sorry you didn’t know, y/n.” 

For the first time you see the Taehyung your mom has been raving about. The guy that is just so good. You think you can believe it. You think this might the real him and you want to understand his perspective. To be fair, if you thought that of someone you would probably be a dick to them too. 

He studies your reaction and when he sees even a hint of understanding in your eyes, he sighs in relief. “Anyway,” He reaches for your hand and high fives himself with it. “What’s after a high five?”

~

Thursday. Two days until the festival dance. Today’s rehearsal went better. Might have been your best one yet…you and Taehyung are communicating better and although he’s still a little stiff with touching you at least he’s actually touching you. Before he would barely put any pressure and it sometimes felt like his hands were just hovering. It still isn’t perfect yet though.

“Hi.” Your mom comes into the kitchen, her eyes soften when she sees how you lift your head from your laptop with a tired expression. She came home from the hospital yesterday and it’s hard to stay mad at her when she looks at you with so much love.

“Hi.” You respond, it came out quiet but she heard you and smiles.

“How’s rehearsals going?” She takes a seat, hand going to yours and you see how her fingers slightly shake as she squeezes your hand. How did you not notice?

“Better.” You look away from your hands, “Taehyung and I are trying our best but we could do better.”

“Better?” Your mom tilts her head, “You don’t feel good enough?”

“Not really.” You smile. “We want it to be perfect. We have to do your role justice.”

Your mom’s eyes widen before she’s chuckling, “People are going to love it!”

“We want you to love it.” You admit softly. “I think that’s what matt—”

“—Me?” Your mom points to herself. “You two could get on that stage and just stand there and I think I would fall in love at the sight.” She tells you, “What I want to come out of this isn’t for you two to perfect a dance routine. I just wanted you guys to get along.” 

You snort, “Get along?”

Your mom gazes at you, her eyes boring into yours and you think you see a swirl of emotions inside of them. “Yeah.” She gulps, her same eyes stinging with tears but she’s quick to blink them away and laugh. “Get along.” She says, “And take care of each other.”

“You make it sound like you aren’t the one who takes care of me,” You try to laugh but your throat burns a little. “I have you to do that, you know?” 

“Mom will always help, my love.” She smiles, gentle and delicate. “But—”

“—Okay,” You cut her off, trying to laugh still but your throat feels like it’s closing in. “That doesn’t have to change.”

“And why not?” She continues to smile. “Changes are good. Don’t you think? Just like the season we’re in…we love it. Do we want it to be summer forever?”

“No.” You swallow hard.

“Change gives us the opportunity to transform and evolve. Nothing scary about it.” Your mom’s fingers lift to your face and she brushes her thumb over your browbone. “I’ve always taught you to embrace it. Welcome it. In autumn, leaves change colors and they die. But soon, flowers will bloom again.” 

You’re tempted to let your head fall to this table and cry but the look on your moms face is bright and hopeful. She’s cheering you on as always. So instead you nod at her words and give her a heartfelt smile. “I think you just gave me an idea for a painting.” You tell her. 

“Then paint.” She smiles wider, teeth shown and all. “Paint.”

~

One day until the festival dance! Friday and you cannot believe you and Taehyung are still struggling with being completely comfortable and trusting during the routine. The natural flow is lacking. Perhaps it’s the chemistry. Yes it has gotten better but you didn’t think it would still look awkward in places. It’s already almost 9pm and you both have been at it for majority of the day. 

“I don’t know how else we could improve, Taehyung.” You breathe out, hands reaching for your bottle of water. “Just get comfortable!”

“I’m trying!” Taehyung groans, his fingers push back his dark hair. His hair is usually split in the middle or the side, framing his face nicely but forehead out gives him an entirely different aura.

“What’s making you so, I don’t know…” You motion your hands around, unsure of what words to describe his behavior.

“Nervous?” He helps you call himself out. “I don’t know, you’re just this person to me…who…I don’t know! It’s not like I don’t want to touch you.”

You quirk a brow and he immediately slams his eyes shut before growing embarrassed.

“I didn’t mean that in a…” He opens his eyes again and they meet yours. “You’re just…”

“It’s my fault?” You laugh. “Do I have to break all barriers with you so you can be more comfortable?” You start joking. “Keep your hands on me? Should we hug for 5 minutes straight? God, what will it take?” You snort now, “Don’t tell me we have to have sex so you can touch me properly during a dance.” 

Taehyung’s entire body flushes at your words, his eyes wide as he blinks at you in shock. “I know you’re joking,” He mutters, “But at what cost?” He tears his eyes off of you before concealing a smile when he wants to laugh.

“I was exaggerating obviously.” You shake your head,  not feeling embarrassed even though maybe it was a weird thing to say.

“But…” Taehyung glances around the practice room, “I think the point is to bond so our chemistry on stage doesn’t suck.”

“Are you saying you do want to have sex? As a way to bond?” You ask him with a dramatic shocked expression and he starts going red as he groans at your words.

“You want to kill me, y/n?” He starts chuckling, “Jeez. I was thinking though…we aren’t getting anywhere with practicing. Why don’t we go out tonight?”

“Huh?”

“Bar? For drinks? Loosen up? Actually enjoy an evening out? Ever heard of it?” He teases you, “I doubt you’ve done anything besides be at this studio and visit your mom’s house. And I am kind of your neighbor and I see your light on all the time late at night so I know you aren’t out.”

“What if I leave a light on, on purpose so a potential burglar thinks someone is home? You know, while I go out and party until the sun rises?"

“You party until sunrise without me?” Taehyung gasps, “That’s rude.”

“What?” You bite your lip, trying not to smile at him. “Am I supposed to invite you for something like that?”

“No offense, but who else would you invite? Ida?” He matches your expression.

“I could ask Jin.” You shrug, “He’s cool.”

“Only thing Jin does at sunrise is check on some ridiculous baked goods that he probably started prepping at 4am.” 

“My mom has a pretty wild book club, maybe they want to party with me.” You shrug again and Taehyung laughs at this. Really laughs. 

“Ms. Soonja would outdrink us all and still somehow be up at 8am ready for breakfast.”

“That sounds believable.” You giggle at that. “Fine, I guess if I had to party then maybe I would invite you.”

“You’re too late.” Taehyung grins at you, “Because I’m beating you to it…I’m the one inviting you but I can’t promise it will be until sunrise.”

“Well, I’d hope not. We have a big day tomorrow.” 

“Then we should get started now.” Taehyung nods towards the direction of the entrance, “Since I still feel like an asshole…I’ll buy you your first drink.”

You feel heat crawl up your neck as you notice an almost playful glint in his eyes, “Only one?” You tease him, “For all that I suffered with you and you only want to buy me one?”

“Oh?” He keeps grinning, “You suffered that much? Fine, how about you tell me when it’s finally enough, hm?”

“I can hold my liquor, Taehyung. I might drain your bank account.”

“Damn,” He throws a hand to his heart. “I was that bad?”

“I’m still deciding if you aren’t still that bad.” You say slowly but your voice is laced in a smoothness even you don’t recognize. “But I hear you’re good.” You keep the words slow as they leave your mouth, “I wonder just how good you are.”

~

“You know,” You play with the straw that rests in your glass. “When I was in high school, I wanted to come to this bar so badly. ‘one day I’ll be old enough!’ I would always say that,” You start giggling. “But I left only a few months after graduation so I never came. Can’t believe I’m actually here now. Teenage me would be so proud.”

“Why this one specifically?” Taehyung looks around, not noticing anything too special. “I just come here because it’s close to the apartment.”

“You’ll make fun of me.” You wrap your fingers around the glass and bring it closer to your lips when you sip from the straw. “It’s cheesy.”

“Oh, I have to hear about it then.” Taehyung sips his own drink as well. “The cheesier the better.”

“Well, a long time ago…” You start, memories flooding your mind and you want to laugh at teenage you. “There was this guy.”

“A guy?”

“Yeah.” You nod. “He worked here as a bar tender, he was older than me. I think when I was like 16 he was already like 30.” You sip more of the drink. “He also worked at the convenience store near my house. I would go in just to buy a snack so I could see him!” You turn your head towards Taehyung, stifling your laughter but he’s got his eyes on you and he’s smiling. “But he told me he also worked here, at this bar and that one day when I’m an adult I’ll get to go and see him there too.”

Taehyung ducks his head around, eyes trailing the place. “Is he here?”

You snort “No.” You set your drink down, only ice cubes occupying the glass now. “I thought that when I turned into an adult I’d come and he would fall in love with me.” You gesture towards yourself with a goofy, tipsy grin. “Obviously, right?”

Taehyung eyes you over, same grin on his own face. “Obviously.”

“Kids are silly.” You finally end the story, “The things we do, huh? Or you know, want to do.”

Taehyung sucks up the rest of his drink and nods his head, “Yeah, I would know.” He chuckles before turning his whole body in the barstool to face you. “My 12 year old self would know, anyway.”

“How so?”

“You don’t know how I met your mom, do you?” He asks you, blush on his cheeks. 

“Oh,” You blink at him. “I…I don’t.”

“I thought so.” He nods, head bowed down as he smiles at nothing. “It’s because of the Harvest Festival.”

“Oh, I guess that makes sense!”

“I went every year when I was a kid. I think I started going when I was like 9? I watched the dance and I was…awestruck, perhaps?” He sounds shier than you thought he could be capable of. It’s cute, you’d admit. It’s funny that a guy who made it clear he doesn’t like you is now telling you a story that is making him blush.

“Hm.” You hum at him, giving him your full attention. He lifts his eyes to yours and bites his lip.

“Yeah, awestruck is a good word.” He tells you. “I kept going back every year because I had to see the dance. I would watch and think, ‘wow, pretty.’ And yeah.” He chuckles.

“Her dancing is beautiful.” You giggle. “Kind of sounds like you had a crush on my mom.” You teasingly point a finger at him but he just joins you in your laughter before relaxing and giving you a sweet smile. 

“I did have a crush.” He admits. “ But it wasn’t on your mom.”

You smile drops only a little, “Then…?” “Every year at the front row of the crowd was a girl who looked around my age.” He tries not to laugh when you pinch your brows together. “You.” He does laugh now. “You danced to her routine, step by step. You looked so happy and so proud and I swear my 9 year old self was not understanding what I was feeling.”

“Wait, what?” Your mouth falls open and you cannot hide your amusement. 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” He tries to playfully brush it off. “And then when I was 12…I decided I had the hugest crush on you and you were going to be my first girlfriend.” 

Your eyes expand comically as you try not to lose it, “Excuse me?”

“I know.” He chuckles, “But I didn’t know how to approach you!” 

“You didn’t—”

“—I had heard you took dance classes at your mom’s studio.” He starts to explain, “So I thought my little 12 year brain was genius when I begged my grandma to let me start taking lessons too. I thought that’s how I could get close to you!” He shuts his eyes in innocent embarrassment. “She paid for three full classes to see if I would like it. I remember getting there, god I was so nervous, I really thought I was going to properly meet you and we were going to fall in love and get married.” Then he winks, gesturing towards himself like you did earlier. “Obviously, right?”

You start cracking up, “Yes, obviously.” 

“But you weren’t there. I was so disappointed. I was like well, I’m going to quit this whole dancing thing. I asked your mom and she said you weren’t taking the classes anymore. Imagine how stupid I felt!” He laughs, “But I still had two more classes. I went and by the third class I realized how much I kind of liked dancing. Your mom urged me to continue and so I did.” He shrugs, “Turns out I wasn’t bad.”

“Does that mean you’re good?” You raise a brow.

“Aren’t you the one trying to figure out how good I am?” He asks you slowly, voice lower than before.

“Touché.” You say just as low. 

“I kept dancing all throughout middle school and high school. I was fairly cool with your mom but things really changed…” Taehyung looks at you, solemn expression on his face. “A few months after high school, my grandmother passed away. And I know that’s technically an adult now, but I still felt like a child.”

“Sorry, Taehyung.” You surprise yourself when you reach for his hand, “That must have been hard.” 

“It was.” He admits with a smile. “Your mom was the one who kind of took me in. She was like a guardian but not legally.” He laughs. “She was like a second mom.” 

“She’s pretty good at being a mom.” You return his smile. “I’m glad you had her…and I’m glad she’s had you all this time too.”

“That’s what family does.” He says it so simply. “I’m sorry again…about…”

“I understand, Taehyung.” You glance down at your hand that rests on his before quickly pulling it back. Cheeks warming up. “By the way, I’m allowed to make fun of you, right? 12 year old you?”

“I would expect you to. I also want to make fun of 12 year old me. But hey, poor guy was just really determined to get you to fall in love with me. We can’t blame 12 year old me for being so romantic, right?”

“Are you still that romantic?” You ask him, eyes on his and he stares at you for a few moments. “I didn’t realize you were this forward.” He decides to tease you instead of answer.

“You never gave me a chance to be.” You crack a smile, “To be fair, a little alcohol running through my veins might make me say weird things.” 

“Good to know.” He chuckles. “What other weird things are you thinking that you might say?”

“You’re curious about what’s on my mind?” 

“I might just be curious in general.” He responds before lifting a hand to get the bar tenders attention, signaling you guys want another round. “About you.”

You gaze at his side profile and feel your stomach twist in a way that feels exciting. “Am I also allowed to make fun of you for hating me and now suddenly you’re curious about me?”

Taehyung lowers his hand and slowly turns his head in your direction with a winsome smile growing on his face, “God, I didn’t know how much you like to teased someone.” 

“What?” You point at yourself innocently. “You’re surprised at what kinds of words leave my mouth?”

“Well—”

“—You’d probably would have known if you would have paid more attention to it.” You point at your lips now. “But you were too concerned about my eyes and how I didn’t know how to use them.”

Taehyung stares at you before sighing out, clearly amused. “I wish I could go back in time and treat you diff—”

“—I don’t.” You grin at him. “Or else I wouldn’t have all this material to make fun of you.” 

The bartender brings the two drinks, the glasses sliding in front of you and Taehyung. He picks his up and you do the same, both of you bringing the glasses together in a little cheers. “This is fun.” You tell him softly.

“Is it?”

“Yeah. I think you were right about letting loose.” You chuckle, “Before coming back home, I was living so stressed. Can’t really remember the last time I winded down.”

“Honestly, me either.” Taehyung sips his drink, eyes on the ice cubes. “But I didn’t think I’d be doing it with my first crush. 12 year old me was so sure we were going to fall in love.” He lifts his eyes to you, same playful glint from earlier. 

“You were so sure yet as an adult you don’t even know to touch me while we dance. 12 year old you might be disappointed.”

Taehyung keeps the glass to his lips and his eyes on you. They darken just the slightest and you notice immediately. 

“You know,” Taehyung finally lowers the glass and licks his lips, “It really almost sounds like you’re flirting with me.”

You crack a smile, fingers wrapping around the glass and you sip on your drink. 

“You’re not going to confirm nor deny?” He asks you, same amusement lingering.

“Maybe I’m just humoring your past self.” You finally say, glass back down to the bar top. “I think it’s only fair that it’s me who is a little mean to you now.”

Taehyung can’t help but laugh at this, his smile turning into something wide and boxy. “Feel free to humor me then.”

~

It’s way past closing time. You and Taehyung are leaving the bar, laughter on your lips, walking out into the parking lot when he suddenly halts his steps. You notice, confused expression when he smirks at you.

“Should we practice our routine one last time today before tomorrow?” He asks you.

“Here?” You glance around. “In the parking lot?”

“Is a parking lot not a good enough stage for you?” He teases and you roll your eyes. “I think we kind of bonded tonight so maybe…”

“Oh, you want to test it.” You feel a warmth trailing across your skin. “Let’s dance then. The second half.”

Taehyung looks excited, his lips spread into a smile but he’s trying to hide it but it’s not use. He’s enjoying himself. And he thinks you are too.

“Okay, ready?” He glances at you when you’re both in starting position. 

“Ready.” 

You both start the first few steps, your breaths are even and your footwork is smooth. You glance at Taehyung and it actually looks like you two are in sync. Well, you imagine so since that part has improved a lot. You’re both counting in your heads, knowing exactly when to transition from one move to another. 

You know what’s coming up but you’re just going to go with the flow, body spinning into a still Taehyung, twirling closer to him and right on cue, his hand lands perfectly on your lower back. It was smooth and you’re already feeling the slight shock and excitement but you stay calm knowing that was just one move.

A beat passes and you both continue the dance, feet moving in sync while your bodies flow together before you’re turning again and both of his hands are on your waist. Both knees slightly bend, faces tucked into your chests as you continue counting in your heads. The silent music continues and so do your movements. 

His fingers don’t dig into your skin, no, they’re just light enough that you can imagine the delicacy that is shown through your movements. You spin out, his arm extending until you’re far from one another, only thing connecting you is your fingertips lightly grasping his. And then he’s pulling you in, your chest coming closer to his. His left hand goes to the back of your neck and his fingers slide down, carefully trailing over the material of your shirt. Like he is painting an outline of your spine. And a sudden thought occurs to you. How would his fingers feel if it was against your bare skin? Then finally, he’s resting his hand on your lower back.

You can still hear the music in your head, the counts still going off and right on beat you tilt your chin towards his face as he lowers his eyes to you and his right hand comes to your jaw. Fingers brushing against it, soft and slow. And then you can hear how the song ends. No more counting. Just your eyes on each other and a feeling swirling so messily in your lower stomach. He is looking as mesmerized as you feel.

“I guess we did bond.” You finally whisper. “Who would have thought?”

~

It’s the day of the festival. The day is finally here and you’re a little nervous but mostly just excited. You and Taehyung decided to ride to the gardens together (perk of being neighbors) and you’ve made your way to where the dances will be occurring later this evening. Everyone’s busy with making sure the stage set up is perfect but mostly, everyone is in good spirits as they hang around.

“Mom!” You light up when you see your mother strolling through the gardens, making her way towards the stage. She’s with Soonja and Eunja, the three of them with their arms linked and stars in their eyes as they look around. 

Your mom sees you, smile bright when her and her friends come closer towards you and Taehyung. “Hi, you two.” She tries not to squeal when she sees the stage and knows that the two of you will be on it later tonight. “How are you both feeling?” She looks between you both, “Confident?”

“A little nervous.” You hide your face in your hands but you smile. “Only a little.”

“I think we finally nailed the routine though.” Taehyung tells your mom, his eyes sliding to yours and you can see a knowing smirk.

“I knew you would!” Your mom cheers excitedly.

“Going to see two good looking people dancing on stage, it might make my heart swoon.” Soonja winks at you.

“Your heart swoons when you see find a coupon.” Eunja rolls her eyes, “Say something more meaningful!”

“Hey!” Soonja’s brows pull together in disapproval. “You think coupons don’t deserve it too?”

“Ignore them.” Your mom chuckles, “You guys have a little while until the dances begin, right? Why are you just standing here?”

You blink at your mom with wide eyes, “What do you mean? What if someone needs help with the stage or—”

“—Oh, please. Go enjoy the rest of the festival.” She pushes you towards Taehyung. “You too, Taehyung. Show my daughter around, it’s been a while.”

“Oh.” Taehyung blushes, “I could do that.”

“Mom.” You groan but she’s insistent.

“Go, go, go. Enjoy.”

“Each other.” Soonja whispers in Eunja’s ear but the other lady swats her arm.

“Have fun!” Your mom waves you off but you haven’t even left yet. Just you and Taehyung staring at these ladies in disbelief. Well, Taehyung is just trying not to laugh.

“Okay, Auntie.” Taehyung finally says, cracking a small smile. “Let’s go, y/n.”

“Fine.” You huff out but you can’t help but smile too. You both wave goodbye to the women before exploring the rest of the festival.

“You’re such a meddler.” Eunja tells your mom.

“Of course I am.” She shrugs, “Who else is going to do it?”

~

You’ve walked around for a while, exploring different vendors and trying delicious foods. Jin’s got a food truck and he is probably the most popular one—you’re realizing that most of his customers are there for him rather than the food. Handsome men have it so easy, you think to yourself.

“So, I know what you’re going to say but…” Taehyung grabs your wrist and starts leading you in another direction, “We can’t have fun at this festival without visiting the main attraction.”

“Oh god.” You know where this is going, “Don’t make me.” You’re pouting now but Taehyung just chuckles and he continues to drag you around.

“How could we not visit the pumpkin patch?” He finally says with a grin.

“Easy.” You shrug and he playfully scoffs at you. “Do we really have to?”

“Yes,” He’s determined. “I know you’re grossed out by them, so no carving. But something that could interest you more?”

And that innocent little suggestion is how you and Taehyung ended up sitting at a table with like 3 others (they’re children.) with tiny little pumpkins rolling around and a whole bunch of different paint. 

“You chose a good one.” You whine when you eye Taehyung’s pumpkin. It isn’t too lumpy so he’s having an easier time painting it. You on the other hand…

“Holy shit.” Taehyung stares down at the pumpkin you’ve been painting. Eyes wide as he tilts his head. “What the hell is…” His words get quieter as he speaks. Slight disturbed expression before he finally looks at you. “I thought you were an artist.” He says with a straight face.

“Art is subjective.” You say with an equally straight face.

He nods, eyes going back down to the monstrosity. “It sure is.” 

“You make me do this…” You narrow your eyes at him, “And then make fun of me?”

“I’m not making fun of you!” Taehyung grins. “It is simply a genuine reaction.”

“I am an excellent painter!”

“Are you?” He teases you, “I don’t—Hey!” He stares at you with big eyes as his fingers go to touch his cheek. “Did you just get paint on me?” He asks.

You smile at him as innocently as possible despite the fact you’re holding the paint brush with a glob of purple paint on the bristles. “No.”

Taehyung’s trying to keep a serious expression on his face even though he wants to laugh. “You really are the pick of the patch, huh?” He shakes his head, fingers wiping at his cheek and he glances down at the paint on his fingers.

 “I don’t know,” You shrug, chuckling before your eyes go back to your own pumpkin. “Are you picking me?” 

“Only if you let me call you pumpkin.”

“Never.”

Taehyung bumps his shoulder into yours, “We should probably head back. The dances will start soon and we have to get ready.”

“Can’t believe the day is finally here.” You sigh out before turning your face towards him. “You think we will do a good job?”

“I think we will make your mom proud.”

~

And you do. Everyone danced so beautifully but there was an audible gasp among the audience when you and Taehyung began your dance. It felt just like the night before in the parking lot of the bar. You two were in perfect sync and his fingers rested and guided your body with grace, delicacy and precision. The last moments you two are on stage, he has his fingers at your jaw and when the lights dim, he slowly brushes them down the expanse of your neck.

“You were really good.” He tells you quietly, eyes still on yours despite the sudden darkness as the audience claps and cheers. “And beautiful.” 

You take a few breaths before your eyes travel across his face, “It kind of feels like you’re the one flirting with me now.”

“And if I am?” His fingers continue to slide down, brushing against your arm until his fingertips touch your own.

“Well,” You laugh a little, finally stepping away from him and facing the audience. “I’d say I like it a lot more than you being rude to me.”

Taehyung faces the audience as well before you both bow, “Then I guess I should keep doing it.”

You and Taehyung make your way off the stage and your first priority is finding your mom and it isn’t hard…she’s front and center with big, teary eyes. She is quick to wrap her frail arms around you, the hug is weak but you feel all the power and love behind it.

“You two were incredible!” She pulls away and then hugs Taehyung as well.

“We tried.” You chuckle, “So I am guessing you liked it?”

“Liked it?! I loved it. It will stay fresh in my memories for the rest of time.” Your mom wipes at her eyes, “You both looked so…”

“Hot.” Soonja says with a smile. “That was one hell of a dance.”

“Soonja!” Eunja scolds her, “She’s vulgar,” She looks at you and Taehyung now. “She means to say—”

“—You’re right.” Soonja nods. “Hot wasn’t the right word. Sexy.”

“I give up on you.”

“About time.”

“Thanks, thank you.” You look between the ladies, cheeks warm. “I mean, I think.”

“I’d say it was a compliment.” Taehyung bumps into your side. “It’s gotten late, huh?”

“Yes.” Your mom agrees, “We are about to head home now…but wow, what a successful year, wasn’t it?” She smiles at you both. “In all my years of experiencing this festival…this one had a different kind of magic, didn’t it?”

“It was nice.” You look at your mom with soft eyes, “I’m happy you enjoyed it, mom.” 

“Best festival this place has seen so far.” She tells you honestly. “So? Are you two going to keep walking around or head home as well?”

“Whatever y/n wants.” Taehyung says, “We drove together so…”

“Honestly, I’m pretty tired.” You look at Taehyung with sorry eyes, “But we can stay longer if you want?

“No, I’m pretty ready to head home as well.” He pulls his phone from his pocket, “It is after 9 already and we’ve had a long day.”

“Okay, let’s go then. Mom, breakfast tomorrow?” You ask before hugging her again.

“Yeah! Taehyung you come too!”

“Oh, sure.”

“Now get going, you guys deserve some rest!”

“Let’s see if they’re getting any ‘rest’ after they danced like tha—ow.” Soonja rubs her arm where Eunja pinched her.

“Anyway,” You clear your throat, “I guess we will leave then. See you tomorrow, mom.”

“Bye, my love!” She sings out cutely as she watches you and Taehyung walk away and then she glances at her two friends. “Good dance, huh?”

“Yeah, it made me miss my libido.”

“Well, who do you think choreographed it?” She smirks at her friends and they start laughing and Soonja just links her arm with your moms again.

“Ohhh~” She whistles. “Bad girl!” and the three start giggling before leaving as well.

~

The drive back to the apartment complex is filled with a comfortable silence. Taehyung has the windows rolled down, the chilly breeze feels so refreshing against your skin. You’re both content with how the dance turned out…your mother’s happy face is what makes both of you so satisfied. 

When Taehyung parks the comfortable silence turns into a silence with expectations. You aren’t sure what to say? Thanks for the ride? Or maybe…want to come inside for a drink or? You aren’t sure what’s going on in his head either…you just see how he glances at you with his lip stuck between his teeth. 

You both get out of his car and start walking towards the building. “I’ll walk you to your door.” Taehyung suddenly mumbles, “You know, just in case you get kidnapped despite me being three doors down.”

“It could happen.” You look at him, “Never know. Better be safe.”

“Exactly.” Taehyung smiles, “Your mom would kill me if something happened to you with me being that close.”

“Well, good thing you’re that close.”

“Good thing.” He nods.

You are both walking slowly through the parking lot and it’s not like you can’t see your apartments right up ahead…it’s not a big complex. But you can feel how your body yearns for more time…you’re surprised but lately, time with Taehyung has been really nice and you’re at that point where you want it to keep going.

“You think you’ll actually get some sleep tonight?” Taehyung asks you, “I know you said you’ve been having trouble since…everything.”

“I don’t know.” You sigh, “I’m trying to stay positive so my mom sees me happy. I don’t want her to see me all sad, you know, knowing…but yeah, at night. Alone. I don’t stay as positive.” You laugh a little, not much humor in the sound. 

“I get it.” Taehyung says softly, “But…I’m glad you’re able to smile for your mom. I know it means everything to her.”

“I know.” You agree solemnly. 

“Let’s just enjoy our days.” 

“I have this place for 6 months but I kind of wish I would have just stayed at my mom’s house.” You begin to sulk, “I didn’t know.” 

“Exactly, you didn’t know.” Taehyung bumps into your side as a way to comfort you. “But you know, your mom probably likes her privacy as much as anyone else.” 

“I guess so.”

“And—oh, wow.” You and Taehyung come to a stop. “That was a short walk.”

You chuckle, nodding your head before glancing at your front door. “Well, uh, good job today.”

Taehyung sways on his feet, his eyes going around before landing on you again. “Yeah, you too.”

“So—

“I was—”

You both try to speak at the same time. And Taehyung is quick to gesture towards you, “You go!”

“No, no!” You shake your head, “You go first.”

“Okay.” Taehyung steps a little closer to you, “I was thinking maybe we didn’t have to end the night yet?”

Thank god. You try to keep a calm expression but you feel giddy inside. “Oh?”

“Like, we just pulled off something we worked really hard for.” He starts explaining, “Maybe we could celebrate?”

“Celebrate?”

“I have some wine in my apartment…if you—if you want to come over and have some with me.” He gazes into your eyes and you see them soaking in something you don’t fully recognize. This is new territory. “If you want.” He finishes softly.

“Hmm,” You look off to the side innocently, clearly teasing him and he’s trying not to smirk when you question cutely, “I wonder if that’s what I want?”

“Maybe you want something else?” You’re surprised by the drop in his voice. “A different drink, I mean.”

You turn your head to face him quickly, your cheeks feeling like they’re on fire as you stare into his eyes. He’s the one teasing you now. “I guess I could explore my options.” Is what you say and he nods towards the direction of his apartment.

“Perfect. See what the options are and tell me what it is you want…” He pauses, eyes looking darker before he smirks. “And I’ll give it to you.”

You cannot hide your amusement, eyes on him when you begin following him to his place, three doors to the left. When he stops in front of his door, he puts the code and lets the both of you inside.

“Welcome to my—wait, wait.” He suddenly stops, spinning in his spot when he remembers…

“Is…” Your eyes go to the wall to the right when you spot something familiar. “Is that mine?” You ask him, finger pointed at a small portrait that is hung up.

“Um,” He looks around awkwardly, “Yeah, I guess.”

“You guess?” You quirk a brow, lips spreading into a grin. “You bought my art? When?”

Taehyung shakes his head with a smile, trying to rid himself of the slight embarrassment. “Uh, like a year ago?”

You walk closer to it and inspect it when your mouth falls open and you face him again. “I remember this one.” You tell him quietly. “I was struggling to create anything. So finally I made this and I was told how not good it was…” You chuckle, cheeks heating up all over again. “I was shocked when it got sold.”

Taehyung blinks at you, surprised. “Not good?” He walks closer to you, his eyes going to the small portrait. “It was my favorite one.” 

“Why?” you ask but he’s quiet, eyes still on your art.

“I felt like I understood it.” He finally tells you. 

“Understood it?”

“Lost.” Is all he says. 

And although in the last couple of days Taehyung has made your body react in different ways like excitement swirling in your lower belly. But today, right now, you think this is the first time your heart is the one reacting. You feel it bang against your chest roughly. It wants to jump out. 

“I think I do want wine.” You tell him quietly, your voice barely audible. 

He faces you and extends his arm out, “Whatever you want from me you can have.” He says it with such subtlety. 

You take a seat on his sofa as he fetches you both a glass of red wine. You look around his place…small and cozy like yours but his furniture looks a lot more modern. Well, that makes sense, you think. Your furniture is your mom’s from a storage unit, who knows how old it all is. 

“Here.” He hands you a glass, “Taste it and tell me what you think.”

You look him over as he takes a seat right next to you and raise a brow. “You want me to tell you if it’s good, huh?” And then you bring the glass to your lips and take a sip, “It’s good.”

“I like to know these things.” He shrugs while he sips his own drink. “So,” He brings the glass to his lap. “Did you have a boyfriend or you know, someone uh, special like that…” He clears his throat, “Before coming back home?”

“You want to know my relationship status?” You try not to sound too teasing but he sees right through you.

“I told you I was curious about you.”

“Well, I’d hope I’m incredibly single since I’ve been pretty forward with you recently.” You say as nonchalant as possible making Taehyung chuckle.

“Maybe you’ve said a thing or two that made me sure. But I thought I should still ask.”

“Are you? You know, incredibly single?”

“Incredibly.”

“Oh?” You laugh before taking another sip. “So Ida isn’t in the picture then?” You eye him with your lips still on the glass and he shakes his head frantically.

“No. no.” He waves a finger at you, “Have I innocently flirted? Maybe.”

“So is that what you’re doing with me?” You bring the glass down now, playful glint in your eyes. “Innocently flirting with me?”

“No,” He smiles, blush on his cheeks and a fiery warmth crawling up his neck. “It’s not so innocent, I don’t think.”

“Well, thank god.” You tease him and he’s loving this side of you, you can tell. He’s looking at you with such mirth. “Can we share something then?”

Taehyung eyes you curiously, “Like what?”

“Even when we weren’t on good terms…ever had not innocent thoughts?” You bring the glass to your mouth again, taking a few sips while you watch his mouth fall open in surprise. “I can give an example, if that helps.”

Taehyung watches you as you conceal your smirk and he’s feeling his body tingle. “It helps.” He says slowly.

“I thought about your hands every time we were practicing. They’re really nice. I could give that as a regular compliment but since this is ‘not innocent’ I’m sure you can assume what my thoughts about them were like.” You tilt your head innocently, “But don’t worry, those thoughts were short lived since your rudeness killed it.” Now you laugh.

Taehyung is looking flustered but he’s managing to keep his expression calm even though he’s trying so hard not to imagine what your thoughts were like. “Fine.” He tells you with a confidence, “Since you want it, I can give you my own example.”

“Perfect.”

“You’d show up wearing those legging things and I struggled not to look at your ass in them.” He speaks calmly. Slowly. “But I did. And I am sure you can assume what kinds of thoughts I was having as well.” 

You’re trying not to snort and ruin the mood that’s currently going so you settle for a long sigh, “Yeah, I think I can imagine what you were thinking.”

Taehyung gazes at you, lips parted and eyes growing darker. It’s quiet between the both of you and he decides to kick it up a notch. He’s feeling confident that it’s what you want. “Then tell me what it is you think I was thinking.” He requests this to you, voice slow and deep.

“You want me to tell you what you were thinking?”

“Yeah.” He nods, setting his wine glass down onto the table in front of the couch.

Your eyes follow the glass and you decide to do the same thing, glass set next to his. “Okay.” You breathe out softly, leaning back into the sofa, getting more comfortable as you both turn your bodies to face one another.

“And—”

“—Mm, mm.” You shake your head, “You told me to tell you so let me speak first.”

He slightly lifts his brows before gesturing a hand to you, urging you to continue.

“I think…” You bite your lip in contemplation, “You’ve definitely thought about fucking me at least once in these last few weeks.”

He’s a little surprised by your vulgarity but it only makes him feel more drawn to you in this moment, “At least once.” He confirms with a sly smile.

“I thought you didn’t like me though?” You tease him, “Kind of contradictory.”

“I told you I didn’t hate you, y/n. I was mad. Different.” He shrugs, “But I’m still a man. With eyes.”

“Oh? That’s right and you know how to use your eyes, huh?” You keep teasing, “That’s why they were always on my ass?”

“Always?” He challenges you. 

“You probably thought about dropping your hand lower, you know, every time we danced.” You keep going, “Did you want to cup me in your hands?”

“You would have liked that, right?” He keeps challenging. “Since you’re a fan of my hands.”

“And what exactly do you think I was thinking?” You turn it around now, “Huh?”

“Depends.” He leans a little closer to you, “How explicit am I allowed to be?”

“Rated R. We’re adults.” You smile cheekily.

“Okay…” He thinks for a moment, his eyes never leaving yours. “I am willing to bet you thought about my fingers when you touched yourself. Maybe you wish they were mine?”

“Oh, that’s a bold assumption.” You crack a devious smile. “Hmm.”

“Are you doing that thing again where you aren’t willing to confirm nor deny?” His drapes his right arm over the sofa and his fingers find your shoulder. “That’s a little mean.”

“Didn’t I say it was my turn to be mean?” You take a breath before continuing. “The wine has been good, by the way. You kept true to your word, you gave me what I want.”

“Is there anything else you want?” He strokes your skin and goosebumps begin to rise and he’s concealing the smile that wants to spread. You react to his words and he’s enjoying it.

“What else are you offering?” You whisper the question, eyes going all across his face, lips included and he decides you’ve flirted enough.

“Me?” He asks innocently, despite the fact he’s looking at you with such a wanton expression. “I would probably kiss you if that’s what you wanted.”

“Hmm,” You lick your lips, your own eyes clouding over, a lewdness corrupting you from the inside out. “Is that what I want?”

“Tell me.”

“Fine,” You lean forward a little, your body wanting to move on its own and his does the same. “I do.” You whisper again, eyes on his lips but his hand goes to your cheek now.

“Before I kiss you,” He strains in his spot, wanting nothing more than to do that. “I feel the need to tell you I might have developed an actual crush on you and I hope this isn’t a one-time thing.”

You stare at him, only feeling yourself grow hotter from his words. “Good.” You lean forward more, eyes beginning to close when his face inches closer to yours, his warm breaths hitting your lips. “I’m hoping for the same.”

Taehyung feels a satisfied, roll of electricity sweep over his skin and his hands go to your hips as he pulls you closer to him. You feel hot under his touch. Taehyung leans in more, his lips slowly finding yours, he’s careful and smooth but the sensual movement of his lips moving over yours has you surprised. 

Your hands go to the back of his neck, urging him to deepen the kiss. He falls forward more, your bodies closing in on one another as he kisses you deeper. He’s guiding your body to lay back, his hands now roaming your back. Lips still exploring your lips and your stomach starts flip flopping the moment he lightly sucks onto your bottom lip, little moan escaping you and his tongue sweeps through. He rolls it over your tongue, moving so slow and expertly. 

Taehyung moves to slot himself between your legs, his kisses grow more frantic and you’re matching his passion with your own. He’s groaning into your mouth the moment he rolls his hips into you, your legs instantly wrapping around his waist, heels of your feet pushing him closer to you. 

He bucks his hips into your center harder and you can feel an obvious erection grinding against your clothed core. It starts driving you wild. You move your face to the side, needing a moment to breathe and Taehyung takes this opportunity to plant wet kisses all across your jawline. His teeth nip at your throat and his tongue slides against your skin, making you breathe heavier and heavier. 

“How far do you want to go tonight?” He whispers roughly, lips at your ear.

“Far.” You say quickly, your hands in his hair as you try to push his head down more. He gets the hint in an instant. He kisses down your neck, to your collarbones and he’s quick to slide his hands up your shirt, and under your bra, his long fingers groping your breasts. “Here?” You ask breathlessly. He looks up at you, confused. “You want to do this here? On your couch?”

He smirks before sitting up straight, his hands going to yours as he guides you to sit up as well. “Would you rather be in my bed, y/n?” He asks, head nodding in the direction of his room.

“Yeah.” You admit, “I would also rather if you lost some clothes.”

“Me?” He grins at you. “Let’s go.” Taehyung stands from the sofa, his hand taking yours and he guides you to his bedroom, and once inside he slips his shirt off. “How’s this for a start?”

“It’s a start.” You chuckle, sitting on his bed. “How does it end?”

“Me inside you hopefully.” He cracks a smile, “If that’s what you meant by far.” 

“Come here.” You sigh, your own shirt coming off, along with your bra. Taehyung pauses, his eyes raking over your bare torso and he sees how you start pulling your pants lower.

“Wait.” He comes to you quickly, hands looking greedy as his fingers go to the waistband and he’s assisting you. “These too.” He whispers, your panties being dragged down as well. “Fuck, you’re pretty.” He tells you when you lean back on his bed, completely naked.

He crawls over your body and his lips are everywhere. Your breasts, your stomach, your hips and you’re struggling to keep it quiet when his mouth and hands feel so good roaming your body like this. He lowers himself, face between your thighs, eyes on your fucked out face when his fingers go to your heat. He spreads your folds and his fingers are quick to get sticky from how wet you’ve become.

You’re watching him and then an idea comes to you, you smirk and use his words from earlier, “Taste it and tell me what you think.”

Taehyung can’t help the lazy smile on his lips, his own expression probably looks as fucked out as yours. He leans forward with his eyes still on yours when he licks up your cunt. He keeps his tongue playing with you, swirling around before pulling back a little. “It’s good.” He teases.

You laugh a little, head falling to the mattress when his tongue digs in again, licking your clit with the right amount of pressure and you start to lose it. He’s quietly groaning into your pussy, your mind hazy at the sound. And finally, his fingers start joining the fun. He has one at your entrance, slowly pushing it in and you gasp at the sudden intrusion but he doesn’t let you think about his one finger too much because now he’s pushing in another.

“That’s…” You moan, “That’s good.” 

He curls those two fingers before moving them, fucking your hole with technique like he has long mastered this skill. You’re squirming on the bed, body tensing as he builds up your pleasure. He can feel your walls shuddering against his fingers and he figures you’re close but maybe he could have assumed it based on how vocal you’re getting.

Your hands go to his hair, pushing his face further into you and he moves his tongue faster and you’re left with heavy breaths leaving your parted lips. You come. You finish all over his face. Out of breath, you continue to squirm when he keeps eating you out, the pleasure going into overdrive. You slam your eyes shut, trying to handle it but you can’t. Not tonight, anyway.

He understands, pulling his face back and his fingers leaving your hole. He stares down at you, eyes filled with lust and need. He stands, undoes his pants and pulls them down his legs along with his underwear. You try to keep your eyes on him, his length exposed to you and you mumble to yourself, “Holy shit.” You say between erratic breaths. You were not expecting him to be this big. 

“How do you want this to go?” He asks you, his own chest heaving. So ready to fuck you, he’s painfully hard at this point. “What position will help you come?”

He’s thoughtful, you give him that. You smile, still breathless while you answer. “Probably on top.”

“Fuck…okay, yeah. I’m going to fucking love that.” He says before making his way to one side of the bed.

“But I really want you to have a view of my ass so.” You smirk at him, lifting your body from the mattress.  “Lay back. Maybe stack some pillows, I have a feeling you’d like to watch intently, hm? Have a good view.”

Taehyung sucks in a sharp breath, his hands going to his cock, fingers lightly stroking it. “Okay.” He says, hand leaving his aching member and then he’s piling a few pillows before he lays down and leans against them. “Condom.” He point towards his night stand.

You glance at the nightstand, reaching over to open the drawer and grab one before handing it to him. “Put it on.”

His fingers move fast, ripping the package and sliding the condom onto his hard standing dick. “I’m ready for you.” Is all he says, breaths so erratic it makes you feel so turned on again, like you were never touched in the first place. 

You crawl over his legs, eyes staying focused on his eyes. You make it to his lap before turning in your spot, your back facing him and he loses his mind. Eyes on your back before they fall down to your ass. You take a moment, looking down to his how hard he is. You reach for his length and hear him let out a long sigh, fingers wrapping around him. 

After a moment, you lift up and bring his cock to your hole, letting it brush against you, spreading your wetness. His hands go to your hips, fingers digging into your skin and you moan out when you push the head of his cock inside you. Taehyung’s body shudders the moment he starts entering you.

You slowly slide down, pausing every few seconds as you adjust. Thighs already shaking as you take him, his impressive size stretching you open. And finally, you both moan in unison once you’re completed seated. You exhale deeply, trying to fully adjust to him. He watches your back, letting you take your time. Suddenly, you feel the warmth of his soft fingertips at the nape of your neck and then he is slowly sliding his fingers down, tracing your spine with the most delicate touch. Your hips move forward at this sensation. 

And then he’s taking both of his hands, grabbing onto your hips before he cups your ass, squeezing the flesh and you smirk. You turn your head to see him but his eyes are focused on your body, not your face. He looks like he’s going to melt at the sight. You feel ready, motivated even as you start moving your hips…you grind into him a few times, his grip getting stronger on you. You finally rise from his pelvis and sink down again. Over and over. Riding him with a consistent rhythm. God, it feels so good. His cock is nestled so deep inside you and every time it brushes against your walls you have to remind yourself to keep another orgasm at bay. 

Taehyung is loving the view. He’s trying to keep still but every now and then he thrusts upward and you swear you try not to crumble at the feeling. He’s hitting your spot so accurately that you’re whining and whimpering on top of him…he knows exactly what he’s doing to you. You ride him harder and faster, your stamina surprising you but you are chasing this orgasm now.

“Fuck, if you keep…” Taehyung mumbles, his moans are deep and grumbly. “I’m going to come…” He warns you, voice shaky 

“Good.” You cry out as you slam down harder, your walls squeezing him tightly. Your fingers find your clit and you start rubbing yourself, getting you closer so you can come at the same time as him. “Fuck,” You moan. “I’m going to come too. Come now, fuck, come now.” 

Taehyung grips your hips again, his head rolling back into the pillows as he bucks his hips up and comes into the condom. 

He goes weak, eyes rolling around, trying to remain sane as you keep fucking yourself onto him before you finally come undone. You roll your hips, grinding as you ride out your high. You are fucking exhausted. 

“Holy shit…” He starts sitting up, lips going to your shoulder. “I’m serious, this is not a one-time thing.” 

You laugh, your body is hot and tingly. “Definitely not.” 

“I should take you on a date then, right?” Another kiss.

“I think so.”

~~~

6 months later

Taehyung has an arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer to his body. When you’re all snuggled up to him he places a kiss to your temple. “She would love it.” He tells you softly. His eyes on the painting you finally finished, it’s 12x 12 and you momentarily sit it down on top of your mother’s grave. 

“Yeah, she gave me the idea for this before the festival.” You smile, “I can’t believe it’s already been 2 months since she’s passed.”

“Yeah, me either.” He admits, “I miss her.”

“Me too.”

“You know,” He looks at you, eyes on yours when you look back at him too. “I was thinking, since your art inspo is back and all…”

“Hmm?”

“What if…we turn the dance studio into an art studio as well? There’s plenty of practice rooms we could turn into art rooms? I’ll handle the dance lessons. You can teach like painting classes or something?” He eyes you carefully, wondering what you’ll think.

“Oh.” You raise your brows a little, “That’s kind of a good idea.” 

“Isn’t it?” He asks more excited. “What do you think? Should we do it?” 

“We could try.” You say the words slowly, tempted to bury your face in his chest because he looks so cute like this. All excited and warm and handsome and damn, you’re in love. “We would have to make some changes at the studio for sure.”

“Yeah,” Taehyung grins, eyes lit up with something so tender. “But changes are good, right?”

You gaze at him for a moment before your eyes go around the cemetery, trees are tall with green leaves and you notice all the beautiful flowers that have recently bloomed. “Yeah.” You nod, heart beginning to glow before you look back at Taehyung. “They are.” 

[captainleviswifee]

The Ackerman Archives

A little bit about me F/she/her | 2,000 years old basically your ancestor lol | writer | artist

My works are mainly all about Levi but I also do some things on the side for other characters as well. The asks are open for other characters though they won't be prioritized and I had to study the canon personalities of those characters first. | I like isekai and its concept. It became my little escape writing isekai ideas because the world we live in sucks.

Are you ready to be isekai'd?

A Transmigrator's Records to Surviving in Attack on Titan Universe (TRSAoT) Levi x Isekaid Fem! Reader Tags: Isekai'd Fem Reader, strong female protagonist, slow burn, plot-driven, canon compliant, canon divergence at the end of S3, eventual romance, angst, betrayal, smart female protagonist, Survey Corps officer Reader, time travel

TRSAoT | The private journal

Fanart - NSFW. Levi x OC (Eve) Tags: OI OI OI, what are you doing in this section! You shouldn't be reading into the officers' private lives!

One shot Levi fics! (Soon, open for asks!) Canon Universe (CU) - Canon Levi | Birthday Levi - CU Levi | If you dare...

AU Levi - AU Levi | Treat you better... - AU Levi | Summer heats...

Headcanons and ramblings Levi - Levi and relationship head canons AoT characters - How would AoT characters react to your ramen

TRSAoT | Chapter/Arc Illustrations - (Soon) Levi and OC Fanarts! - Levi Birthday Special (WIP) - Levi Birthday Special! - OC/Reader Character design - OC and Levi in ODM gear (also a commission price packages with art showcase) - Levi portrait (lineart, final) - Levi x OC fanart "Straddling" - His Aphrodite, Levi fan art - Levi nsfw arts

AOT Character Fanarts Erwin Smith Erwin Smith portrait 2

Commissions!

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NOTE: I'm not really comfortable with you minors engaging with my content. Y'all practically infants/babies to me. All x Reader fics and works of mine are intended for adults only. So maybe you kids wait a bit more years before you go here. Heichou will not be happy to see you kids here.

My Instagram | Twitter (i dont go there anymore lol) | Youtube (Art/fanart/gameplays) |

[giggly-squiggily]

Inked (Big Windup)

Heyo! Guess who's back with Big Windup Content! :D I had this little ol' thing sitting in my WIP for weeks before realizing I should finish it up and post it lols, and here I am to do so! I hope y'all like it! :D

CW: Swearing

Cloud 9 (Taglist Peeps):

@cupcake-spice13 @intheticklecloset (I know you're not on the Taglist but BAM! Baseball tickles >:D)

Summary: Tajima after writing a massive "1" on Mihashi's back decides he should do it for Abe too. The other disagrees, leading to a rather giggly compromise.

“Hold still! Lemme write it!”

“No way! I told you I don’t need it!”

Tajima was back at it again, a black marker in hand as he tried once more to mark Abe. He figured the clean up hitter had let it go after a while, but nope- he was ever insistent on drawing a massive number “2” on his back!

“Why are you resisting so much? It’ll make Mihashi feel good!” Tajima was halfway to his target, eyes dancing as he flinched each way Abe tried to escape. “Don’t you want to be in a team with him?”

“I’m already in a team with him- I don’t need a number to prove it!” An opening had appeared! Abe made a dash for it-

“GOTCHA!” Tajima cried, leaping at him and sending them both flailing into the field. “Now hold still!”

“Tajima, I already told you, I don’t need a number!”

“Come on- think of Mihashi!”

“It’ll never come out!”

“It's an erasable marker! It’s good for clothes!”

“Tajima!”

“Oh okay- if you’re really against it.” Abe heard the marker being recapped, a small sigh of relief escaping his lips.

“Can I at least draw a “2” on you with my finger then? No ink, I promise.” Tajima asked, a clear puppy eyed pout in his voice. Abe closed his eyes as he pressed his face into the field.

“Give me the marker.” It appeared before him. Alongside a second one. Abe turned a bit to raise a brow.

“You always need a backup.” Tajima shrugged with a sheepish laugh. The catcher rolled his eyes before flopping forward again.

“Fine. But JUST with your finger. My mom will be pissed if I come home with sharpie ink all over my uniform.”

“I told you, it was erasable! I only use a sharpie for Mihashi.” Tajima giggled as he got comfortable, sitting up and positioning his finger. “Ready?”

“Sure-” Abe got out before immediately wincing, startled by the tingling sensation of Tajima’s finger running down his spine. “Mm! T-Tajima, lighten up!”

“Does it hurt?” The cleanup hitter asked, doing so. To Abe’s dismay, it only made it worse.

“N-No it ti-ihihihiihckles!” The catcher yelped before dissolving into laughter, fists curling against the grassy field as he kicked out a leg, trying his best not to throw the other off. Maybe all that time spent with Mihashi made him more accepting to tickles? “Tahahajima, huuhuhurry uhuhuhup!”

“No way..” Tajima gaped down at him with wide eyes. Then he grinned. “Did I just discover a new tickle spot on the Abe Takaya? How lucky am I?”

“Doohohohn’t say my nahahame like thahahhat! Gehahaha, if yohoohu’re dohohone, get ohoh-EEHEHEH!” The catcher arched even more when Tajima switched from tracing to scratching, dancing one finger up and down the invisible “2” he drew on his friend’s back. “Doohohohn’t doohohohoho thahahhahat, yohohoohu ahahhahhahass!”

“What? I gotta fill it in! Can’t go around having a outline- no one will be able to distinguish it from a number or a pe-”

“Iihihihihihit’s nohohohohohot ehehehehheven viihihihihihisblehhehehe! Whahahhat doohohohoes it mahahahhatter if ihihihihit’s fiihihihilled in? Nohoohoh ohohohone’s gohoohhohonna knoohohohow!”

“I will! And I’ll always be haunted by my unfinished work! Be still- my canvas; the artist is at work!” Tajima doubled his scratching, increasing Abe’s giggle fits and yelps of laughter tenfold. “Now that the actual number is done, let’s add some color!”

“TAHAHHAJIIHIHMA!” The catcher all but shrieked when his ribs were suddenly grabbed, fingers pressing in at both sides. “WHAHAHAT HAHAHPPEHEHED TO THE NUUHUHUMBER?”

“Relax, I’m getting my pens! They’re somewhere in here…” Tajima continued to “search” for his pens within Abe’s ribcage, narrowing in on the terrible spots along his upper and lower sets just to keep him laughing. “Man, I really need to organize this space better. They’re all over the place in there! Abe, you gotta stop moving so much; the pens keep rolling away!”

“STHAHAHP FUHUUHUCKING TIIHIHIHCKLING MEHEHEH THEHEHEHEHEN!” Abe cried, thrashing like a fish out of water as his worst spots were drilled into. Above him, Tajima giggled like a child, delighted.

“Oo, you’re saying bad words! Bad Abe! Hehehe!” Finally, Tajima pulled his hands back, returning to his spine as he finished putting the last few touches onto his “design”. The tickles died down to a comforting amount, leaving Abe coughing through giggles as he caught his breath. “There we go..and done!”

The catcher let out a huff of air as Tajima climbed off, far too tired to get up and chase him. Around him chatter continued, the boys laughing over the sight or carrying on with whatever conversation they were having prior. Footsteps shuffled into view soon, coming to stand before him.

“A-Abe..I erm, brought you this..”

Something cold and paperlike touched his hand. Abe all but shot up at the water, taking and downing it in one greedy gulp. “You’re a lifesaver, Mihashi.”

The pitcher squeaked with shy pride, cheeks warming as he smiled at his hands. “I’m glad…and erm- I’m sorry about Tajima..I didn’t think he’d try to erm, you know…”

Ah. Abe resisted the urge to roll his eyes as he looked at the markers left abandoned in the grass.

If ONE uniform was kinda stained, maybe his mom wouldn’t be too mad…

“Go get Tajima.” He sighed in resignation, making Mihashi squeak in surprise. “Tell him to use an erasable one, cause if we can’t get it out, I’m kicking his ass.”

“Oh..Oh! Oh, erm- okay!” The pitcher nodded, practically vibrating with joy as he ran to get said clean up hitter. Shaking his head, Abe fell back onto his stomach in the warm grass, accepting his fate.

If it made Mihashi do his best, then let him be inked.

Thanks for reading!

[saintarmand]

a stray cat from a toy shop

while i'd noted it before, this post by @iwtvfanevents gave me a title for the cat painting in claudia's room: The Kitten's Art Lesson by Henriëtte Ronner-Knip. (if you enjoy being insane like me go read the artist's biography at the link, but keep in mind that just because you CAN draw parallels doesn't mean they were necessarily intentional. but they ARE delightful.)

let's take a look at the kitten's art lesson!

the kittens are studying under the watchful eye of the adult cat, who seems disappointed by the lack of decorum. the kittens are in a playful mood! one of them has torn through a painting. another is clinging to the art board with tooth and nail... just playing or trying to hold on after nearly falling? a couple are in a half closed drawer—almost like they could be trapped inside at any moment. one has actually found a paint brush but doesn't seem to know what to do with it. the teacher is not impressed.

i can't help but note the one staring towards us from the drawer looks awfully familiar:

the art teacher and students aren't the only cats in claudia's room; there's also a cat statuette on the mantle (click to see the closeups in full.)

above the cat painting, there's a blurry painting of what looks like some women sitting, and one of them looks she might have a cat in her lap, though that might be wishful thinking on my part. the bottom of the painting blends in so well with the wallpaper that at first glance i actually thought the painting had been cut into, which sent me on a wild train of thought but yeah that's not actually true lol. but the effect is interesting regardless. the cat on the mantle definitely evokes the idea that it escaped from the painting nearby, and could flee at any moment—and in episode 6, it's no longer on the mantle or anywhere else that i can see.

i wonder if it broke along with so much else in the house at the end of episode 5, or if claudia moved it somewhere. fellow insane people keep an eye out, a kitty's gone loose!

so... why cats?

there aren't many cat references in iwtv compared to other animals, but the ones that are there speak volumes. in episode 3, we see louis bite into a black cat as a substitute for the human blood he craves. later in the evening lestat says he "fears for the feline population of new orleans" (after comparing louis to fish and birds). when louis reaches a breaking point, "rats, cats, dogs, would no longer suffice." so what he really wants or needs is something else?

in the next episode, claudia delivers the punchline:

“I used to [live around here] too. I remember there used to be a toy shop a few doors down by there. They used to keep stray cats in boxes for people to take.”

claudia sees herself as a cat. louis took her in like a stray—a helpless little kitten in need of rescue—and he took her (took for free because no one else wanted her) from a box at a toy shop—a place where you find things to play with.

but cats love to play and they love sleeping in boxes so this is fine actually!

...right?

claudia knows herself much better than anyone else in this show. she is a cat in a kitten's body.

the thing you always have to keep in mind about cats is that they are not docile and subservient by nature. they don't do things because they are told but because they choose to. a cat's fur may be pretty and soft to touch, but don't forget those sharp teeth and claws! it's not that they don't like to be pet at all, you just have to get permission first. and even if you do, they might just change their mind, as is their right.

cats do like good company but they also like their independence. they prefer to come and go as they please; not to be locked up inside, and not to be kept on leashes. they like boxes because they feel safe in there, but they also like to jump out for play time: hunt! catch! kill!

they may be small and cute and soft but they're still predators, and brutal ones. if they don't get to hunt for their food in your care, you better find them another outlet or they'll go for your ankles. they developed that instinct to survive, but hunting also happens to be fun! cats love to play with their food.

if you manage to earn their trust, they'll make for wonderful companions—but do not make the mistake of assuming you can ever own them... or you'll have to sleep with one eye open like they do. they're quick and clever but also patient, and they know how to move without a sound. let them out of your sight for even a second, and you won't know what hit you until it's too late. and they'll relish the kill!

no matter how others may speak of her, claudia is not a lap dog, nor a bird in a feathered nest. lestat is not a beauceron herding sheep, and his last name does not make him a lion. the three of them are not fellow dogs either. from the very beginning, claudia knows she's a cat. and by the end, she realizes what lestat let slip in the pilot: he's just an overgrown fucking rat. and while “a cat and a rat” rhymes, that does not mean they're the same thing.

[aoioozora]

Is It Me?

Character: David 'Hesh' Walker Content: Bodyguard Hesh, Fem artist reader, fluff Note: I'm so writer's blocked from my Ghost fanfic that I needed to take a break lol. I loved writing this one. Enjoy :))

You were such a curious little creature to him. So quiet, so mysterious.

Hesh stood by the wall far behind you, watching as you lifted your paintbrush from the palette in a fluid motion to meticulously paint a single pearl among the other meticulously painted pearls on a string of necklace. He had been in the room since you started on the painting in the dim and gloomy morning several hours ago, and it was now night.

In his few months of being your bodyguard, he understood that you were a recluse, and he wasn't sure if it was a good or a bad thing. Your father, the polar opposite of you, was an actor, and you were completely repulsed by his fame. Any sort of attention from paparazzi or your father's fans drove you up the wall, leading you to spend your life in your apartment, your little haven. All your days were spent indoors, painting. If you weren't painting, you were reading or catching up with your Masters degree. You weren't much of a talker, even with friends, who you met only on occasion. And just to keep you safe, your father insisted on hiring a bodyguard for you, thus explaining Hesh's presence.

As for Hesh, you spoke to him only a little. In his career of being a bodyguard, he had never guarded a client so quiet. Too quiet. Being used to dealing with rambunctious, problematic celebrities, he was rather bored by your silence, but still intrigued by you.

If your mouth never spoke, your body did, and his keen observations of your body language to your environment told him everything he needed to know about what you liked and disliked. He saw every subtle smile and sneer of disgust, every crease of the brow, every narrowing of your eye, and every look of panic on your face at the sight of a crowd. He knew which people you disliked, tolerated, and liked, and it was a slight relief to him that he was among the tolerable.

"What are you painting there?" he asked, shifting on his other leg, trying to start a conversation.

There was no answer.

Just as he expected. You were so in the zone that the world was tuned out and you would hear or see nothing but the painting. It was a silly question to ask, especially when, upon the canvas, he could see two lovers, a returning soldier leaning over the back of the couch to kiss his wife as she leans into him completely. It was a fusion of the American retro pin-up style with the baroque- or was it renaissance? He couldn't tell. He only knew that it was beautiful and heartfelt.

This was all he saw you paint: lovers. The walls of your atelier were filled with paintings, large and small, of all styles imaginable, of intimacies between lovers; of grazing of the hands, lips about to kiss, beds shared, passionate caresses, soulful gazes. Though he wasn't a connoisseur of the arts, he knew that art was the soul's window. And looking upon the walls, he wondered if he was peering into your soul.

Hesh inhaled deeply and the smell of paint filled his nose. If there was one other thing that was common about the paintings, it was the fact that the man in them had an uncanny resemblance to him. From the shape of his body down to the very exact shade of his lips, every single detail was faithfully replicated in paint. And this didn't escape his notice.

He always knew you to begin paintings by priming the canvas with white paint. But for this particular painting, your frustration seemed evident in the way you threw a bucket of thin red paint on the canvas, splattering it everywhere and allowing it to drip down to the floor and your bare feet. It was a pleasant surprise, as he had never seen you so aggressive before.

But you eventually calmed, and here you were before him, now turning your focus from the pearls on the woman's necklace to the camouflage pattern of the man's uniform. Hesh used to be in the military until he retired to become a civilian again, and he was starting to wonder if he really was the subject of all your paintings. But he didn't want to think too highly of himself.

Your focus ebbed as you sat up to straighten your hunched back and dropped your hand to your side to ease its soreness; he took that as an opportunity to speak, as you would be most likely to answer.

"You paint the same guy in all those paintings," he observed, "Someone you like?"

He knew you heard him, and could hear your pause in the silence. "Yeah," you answered in a voice that was soft and subdued, as if trying to hide the eagerness.

His chest clenched and fluttered wildly at this admission. From his position by the wall, he took a tentative step towards you that echoed in the silent, heavy atmosphere of the room. He wanted to ask the question, and you were expecting it, and it resulted in an anxious thrum, a throbbing in both your bodies, a string pulled taut. You knew he wasn't stupid to not eventually notice how he was the subject of your paintings. If you were mute, then the paintings on the walls weren't; they practically screamed your admiration of him, of how much you wanted his hands, his body, his lips, his heart.

His steps grew louder as they closed in on you. They stopped right behind your chair; he now towered over you, casting a gentle shadow over your body and the canvas. The silence was deafening. He leaned an arm against the chair, breathing out. You felt a wisp of his exhale tickle your neck. The pleasant scent of his body and cologne, a delightful blend of cedar and orange wafted to your nose. A shiver jolted your spine.

"Is it me?" he whispered, his voice low, deep, and laden with curiosity, desire, and emotion.

There was a pause the space of three heartbeats.

"Yes." Out came your voice in an unsteady, high-pitch. One answer, and it felt like you had been stripped naked.

The last time his legs felt this weak was during basic training. He leaned further against the chair to support himself, unintentionally putting himself deeper in your personal space that you loved more than anything. But you allowed him.

The air was now heavier than a pregnant raincloud. He breathed in to calm his rapidly beating heart. He glanced at the couple in the painting, and then back at you.

"What can I do for you?" He asked.

Turning your head slightly over your shoulder, you were met with his face right next to yours. Your eyes met his, and it felt as though a key had been turned, unlocking a door. Your lip trembled as you opened your mouth slightly, now blurting out in sheer desperation,

"Love me."

He felt like the same canvas that had been splashed with paint upon hearing those words. He felt his chest swell with joy. His breathing labored slightly and his mouth turned dry as he searched for the words to say.

"That I can do," he answered after a moment, slowly and cautiously moving his hand to your cheek, as if testing the waters.

You leaned into his touch, and that was all the confirmation he needed. Words were unnecessary, for when he saw your eye linger on his lips, he moved in for the kill.

His own lips welded with yours into a kiss that was earnest and soul-satisfying, a true reflection of the painting.

End.