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#lmao god i feel so sad just thinking about that. if i hurt them or betrayed their trust itd hurt so much.
star-girl69 · 8 months
Text
Let Me Love You Like A Woman
Clarisse La Rue x Fem!AphroditeCabin!Reader
—-
synopsis: you and clarisse broke up two months ago, and when you’re selected to go on a mission together, clarisse just wants you to let her love you.
a/n: i feel feelings about this one….. anyways i hope you all enjoy!!
Let Me Love You Like A Woman - Lana Del Rey
******i want to make this clear: there is absolutely NO smut in this fic. terms like “fuck buddies” and “friends with benefits” are used but only bc i cant think of anything else lmao. all they do is makeout and it is suggestive at times but there is NO SMUT
warnings: this is so bad tbh, what is clarisse doing, she’s so confused my little ladybug, y/n my other ladybug is confused too, OH MY GOD THERES ONLY ONE BED, swearing, hate make out sessions but the hate is one sided, kissing obvi!, deep talks about our feelings which is hard for clarisse, angst, mentions of death blood and monsters, lovesick!! slightly desperate!!! clarisse my cutesy little ladybug, exes/enemies w benefits so like mentions of sex and such, very suggestive lol, as an actual server the restaurant scene hurt me to write lol, but for the plot, tell me if i missed anything!!
—-
The Big House is the one place in camp you’re really unfamiliar with. It’s not like you haven’t been there before, it’s just you don’t go there that often.
And unknown places scare you.
There’s hiding places you don’t know about, blind spots you aren’t aware of- corners and small secrets and rules that you haven’t learned yet.
You make your way up the steps and through the porch, the familiar part- you pass by the infirmary and the random office no one uses- until you make it to the connected gondola Chiron and Mr. D. spend most of their time at.
You’re about to turn and enter when a familiar figure appears in front of you.
It hurts to think about how you’ll always know it’s her.
She seems just as shocked to see you but covers it up quickly.
“Y/N,” she smirks, looking you up and down.
You stop, go to turn around and march off in the other direction when you remember you can’t.
Clarisse La Rue doesn’t deserve the dirt under your feet, even though she would probably eat it if you asked- charmspeak used or not.
“Clarisse,” you mumble, and she frowns. You never really called her by her name when you dated, and you know it bothers her now to hear you say it.
That’s exactly why you do it, of course, but the part of you that knows everything about her and will always love her squeezes at the sight of her poorly-hidden sad face.
She’s been slipping up lately. It warms your heart to know that’s because of you.
“What are you doing here?” she asks, genuinely curious.
As a cabin leader, it’s not unusual for Clarisse to be here. But she knows you’re scared of the unknown, and she knows it’s just not in your routine to come here.
“Dunno,” you shrug. “Got called here.”
Her eyes light up. “How funny, so did I.”
You roll your eyes, fighting against the parts of your body that want to run towards her and the parts that want to run away. Instead, you listen to your brain and feel her staring at you as you turn the corner into the gondola.
“Y/N, Clarisse,” Chiron greets with a pleasant smile, setting down a hand of cards face-down. You almost laugh at Mr. D’s disappointed look- Chiron isn’t the trainer of demigods for no reason.
“Yeah, yeah, welcome,” Mr D says, seeming entirely uninterested. You both stand there slightly awkwardly.
Chiron is known to be blunt, so he of course jumps right in.
“We have a mission for the two of you.”
“The two of us? Like, just the two of us?”
The words come out before you can stop them, fingers twisting together and mouth slamming shut. You’re fine, you try to tell yourself, even though your mind and body agree on one thing- being too close to Clarisse will just lead you right back to her.
Clarisse tries to hide her hopeful smile, but you see through it. You loved her for so long, of course you see through it.
“Uh… yes,” Chiron says. You clench your fists.
Mr D seems interested now, especially after your outburst.
“Oh,” he laughs. “I see.” He gestures between the two of you, “there’s bad blood.”
Chiron presses his lips together.
“Nothing that doesn’t make us capable of going on this mission,” Clarisse says, taking a step forward. She smiles at you, but doesn’t make a move to touch you. At least she knows some limits, even if they don’t matter now.
“Well,” Chiron continues, seeming to regret his decision but deciding it’s too late. “Y/N. Your charmspeak, I feel, will be extremely important to this mission. And, Clarisse, daughter of Ares- your skills in battle are nothing to scoff at. There is an item I require the retrieval of. A friend left it in a P.o. box in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. The journey is not particularly perilous, but being a demigod carries an affinity for danger.”
You nod, crossing your arms over your chest.
“I trust the two of you will be able to put aside your… ‘bad blood’ and complete your mission?”
Maybe this mission will be good for you. It certainly nowhere near the kleos of a quest, but more so gives you bonus points with Chiron. That could be helpful.
Clarisse looks at you.
“Oh, yes. Don’t worry.”
—-
“Y/N.”
You walk away from Clarisse pointedly, hoping she’ll take the hint.
You’ve decided you’ll do this quest. If you ever did want to be a cabin leader in the future- you either had to be well liked or the best. As a daughter of Aphrodite, you were already well liked- conversation and flattery came as easy to you as breathing.
Even before you learned how to use your charmspeak, you could sweet talk almost anyone into doing whatever you wanted. You really needed an A on that test? A few tears and some master manipulation- suddenly that A was yours.
But, Chiron needed to like you too.
You do this quest for him- which he choose you for- and then you earn even more of his respect.
It was such a simple exchange. It could be such a simple exchange, except if the girl hot on your heels wasn’t your partner.
She finally manages to grab your wrist and whip you back around so you’re facing her.
She smiles.
“I’ll always catch you, you know. No use in running, really.”
“At least I’ll go down fighting,” you say, looking anywhere but her eyes like portals that suck you in. She’s so close to you.
If this was the before you would wrap your arms around her neck and hers would go to your waist. Even if you were mad at her, she would press her body close to yours and kiss the corner of your lips- Clarisse made it her life’s mission to know every inch of you, and she succeeded. She would know the exact way to calm you down and get you to look at her and hear her out.
And most of the time you were being dramatic, or simply joking, and then she would kiss you and it would all be fine again.
Except it’s not the before. It’s the after, and your heart hurts being so close to her.
“What do you want, Clarisse?” you sigh.
“I just wanted to talk to you.”
Your chest blazes. “Go talk to literally anyone else.”
Her face hardens.
“How many times do I have to tell you before you understand that you are the only person I care about?”
You rip your hand away from her grip.
“Shut up,” you hiss, turning and walking away.
“Fine. I’ll see you tomorrow at the gates,” you can feel her smile. “And then I’ll see you all on our mission, huh?”
“You’re crazy!”
—-
You walk into the Hermes cabin and fall face first onto your best friend Marley’s bed.
She looks up from her book and laughs.
“Oh, babe, what happened?” she asks, scratching the back of your scalp as you pull yourself up into your elbows and place your head in her lap.
“Mission,” you groan.
She stops. “A mission? For Chiron? Gods, Y/N that’s amazing-”
“With Clarisse.”
She takes her hand away from your scalp and moves to your chin, lifting you up.
As much as Clarisse hurt you and you hate her, Marley had always had a special sort of hatred for her. Even when you were happy and dating- you would tease her that maybe she’s actually a daughter of Ares, seeing how angry she was.
She was always overprotective, she insisted she just had a bad feeling about her- but eventually she stopped and you thought you could have it all.
“I’m sorry,” Marley laughs. “I don’t think I heard you right.”
You put your lips right up to her ear.
“MISSION WITH CLARISSE-”
“Y/N!” she yells and pushes you away, groaning as she holds her ear. “My ears are bleeding now, oh my Gods-”
“You’ll be fine,” you groan, settling back into her lap. “I’m the one who actually has to go with her.”
“Actually?” she whispers after a tense moment. “You actually have to go with her?”
“It’s fine,” you mumble.
“It’s not. Maybe I-I can talk to Chiron, or maybe I could come with you, huh?”
“No, thanks, Marls. It’s alright, really.”
She stares down at you, head tilted slightly to the side. Marley has always been exceptionally good at hiding her emotions. But you can tell she’s angry. She’s scared.
She’s your best friend and you will always love her in the most special way.
“I don’t want you to go,” she whispers.
The Hermes cabin is always a bustle of activity. But when you’re just here with Marley, it’s the two of you. It’s perfect. It’s what you’ve always wanted- selfishly- to feel special. You feel special with her eyes on you, your head in her lap. She’s your best friend.
You put your hand on her face.
“As much as I hate it, we both know Clarisse won’t let anything happen to me. I’ll be safe.”
“Yeah, but what if she does something to you?”
What if she does absolutely nothing and you fall in love with her all over again?
You always thought that all that stuff about feeling your heart physically break couldn’t be true- but you know it is. You felt it break and every time you look at Clarisse and it can’t be like it was before your heart breaks a little more.
Clarisse acted like you were some big secret that was a chore to hide, and then when you were in her arms she would call you the prettiest girl. It was like whiplash, feeling her touch so tenderly and then not even being allowed to look at her in public. And you wanted so badly to tell everyone that she was yours and you were hers- but she just couldn’t.
And you don’t care about the reason behind that, not after that one night, not after she told you she could never love you.
She doesn’t really want you. She acts like she does, but she only misses you on the surface. Sure, you miss her body, but you miss your late night talks and the way she was always there to protect you, the way she made you feel. You like the person you are with her.
She wants an idea of you, she wants you under her, she wants power and control.
You think maybe a part of her really does regret losing you that night. But, she laid it all out that night. What she feels doesn’t make up for what she said. She doesn’t love you because she’s insecure, because she’s self-serving and power hungry.
She makes you feel stupid waiting for her, but why would you wait for someone else when you could wait for her to come back? You don’t like the unknown, and Clarisse is the one thing you really know.
You look into Marley’s eyes now.
“It will be good for me,” you whisper. “I’ll earn Chiron’s respect.”
Marley kisses your cheek.
“I know. I just don’t want you to go, and I know that makes me selfish but- still.”
“I know, Marls. I know,” you whisper. But this will be good for you, and it’s already been done. You already accepted it.
Marley helps you pack and you watch her anger. You watch her roughness, you watch the fire in her eyes- and Gods, does it make you feel special to have a friend like her.
You only wish you could make Clarisse feel like that too.
—-
The bus ride is boring.
Clarisse, for some merciful reason, decides not to torture you and instead throw her dagger up and down.
But you’re bored.
You’ve been reading a book Marley lended you, something boring and wonderfully distracting about the history of the four wind gods- you think about the wind and not about the way Clarisse’s thigh is pressed up next to yours.
It’s only been two months.
As much as you hate it, you won’t even admit it to Marley, but you’ll admit it to yourself in the quietness of the back of the bus.
You close the book and stuff it into your backpack.
You miss her.
“I’m bored,” you announce before you can second guess yourself.
“Okay,” Clarisse hums, picking at a speck of hardened dirt on her dagger. “I know a lot of things we could do to remedy that.”
Your cheeks flush, but you hold your ground. “I’m not going to kiss you. One, it smells like shit back here and two, we’re not dating anymore.”
“True, but doesn’t that just make it more fun?”
“What?”
Her hand moves to your thigh and you let yourself sink into the before.
“We aren’t supposed to- your best-fuckin’-friend would skin me alive. But we both know you want to.”
“I don’t want my lips anywhere near you.”
She just smiles at you, and you suddenly realize you’ve been staring into her eyes this entire time.
She takes her hand off of you and turns away, and this part of you aches so badly for the before- but it’s after. But she doesn’t love you and she just wants you.
But you want her too. You want her so bad, and maybe if you just let yourself sink into her one more time then you can move on. One good goodbye and you’ll be fine.
“Take a nap, then,” she suggests. “We still have another hour before the next rest stop, I’ll wake you up.”
“Okay,” you mumble, a part of you loathing listening to her, but a nap sounds good.
—-
You sleep the best you ever have since you broke up.
Clarisse was always sneaking into your bed, or you into hers, and she was always so warm and made you feel so safe. You always slept with her. And while you could still fall asleep fine without her- it just wasn’t the same.
You wake up to the sound of the bus doors opening and people talking around you.
“Y/N,” Clarisse whispers. “Wake up.”
You realize your head is on her shoulder.
You push her away from you, she just laughs and stands up.
“So stubborn,” she mumbles, leaning down to dig into her bag for the money Chiron gave you.
You resist the urge to say something snarky back, instead choosing to squeeze past her and out into the aisle.
She’s following behind you in a second, her bag zipping up and getting thrown back under the seat.
She’s right up in your ear.
“I know you hate me,” she whispers. “But you can’t just go running off. What if there was a monster right outside the doors?”
The two of you step off of the bus, the bright sunshine making your squint.
You pull up your shirt and pat your hip where your dagger rests.
“I’d kill it.”
You both know you probably couldn’t.
She laughs. “Is that the dagger I gave you?”
Your face freezes but you keep walking into the rest stop.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you huff.
She sticks her fingers through the loop of your jeans and pulls you into an aisle filled with chips. You suddenly find a bag of Cheetos very interesting.
She looks at your face, into your eyes, and traces her fingers over the dagger’s handle.
“Hm, mine.”
You miss her so bad. You never knew it was possible to miss someone this much. You miss her body and her mind and her voice. You miss her hands and her lips and the way she made you feel.
You don’t pull away. How can you pull away?
It was easy to ignore her when she wasn’t right in front of you, but there’s this part of you that loves her and wants to believe her. Then there’s another part that wants to see her suffer like she did to you.
You push her off of you. “Don’t touch me.”
Again, she just smiles, and that’s really starting to piss you off.
—-
You’re somewhere in the middle of Pennsylvania at a bus stop, waiting to cross the lonesome highway to the other side of the street where a train station awaits you.
“Are you okay?” Clarisse asks, and you realize she’s already stepped out onto the road and you’ve been staring off into nothing. You quickly follow her, half running across the road until you get to the sweet, sweet air conditioned station.
“Yeah, ‘m fine.”
In reality, you have to keep yourself distracted so you don’t fall back into her. You’ve decided it not about whether or not you love or want to hear her out- it’s about the way she kisses you and the way her skin feels against yours.
You can want her, here, where no one will know.
You’ll swear her to secrecy, and she’ll shut up just for the chance of more. And you don’t know if you’ll give it to her.
The station is oddly busy.
You have this horribly uneasy feeling.
You make your way into the line anyways, snatching the tickets from where they’re scrunched up in her hand, trying your best to flatten them again.
She laughs. You refuse to feel the way it makes your heart ache. You think about the other reasons she makes your heart ache.
You see something, shiny and black out of the corner of your eye. When you look over, the indented entrance to a janitor’s closet is marked in shadows.
But you trust yourself.
“I think I just saw something,” you whisper.
She still makes you feel safe. She’s one of the most talented warriors at camp and she loves you- even Marley admitted she won’t let anything happen to you.
She follows your gaze. And she doesn’t see anything.
“Okay,” she murmurs. She trusts you too. Her eyes flick between the shortening line and the shadows. “Maybe one more minute then we’re on the train.”
“Yeah,” you agree, slipping your hand into hers. You can hear her inhale sharply. She’s not phased by a potential monster, but you holding her hand makes her face flush.
Why is she so fucking confusing?
As far as you can tell, she just wants to be fuck buddies- so why is she blushing as you hold her hand?
She squeezes your hand, and Clarisse is right, you make it to the front of the line. The man checks your tickets and hole punches them, welcoming you back into the outdoors.
You look over your shoulder, and something shiny reflects in the sunlight, still in the shadows of the building.
“Clarisse.”
She seems to see it too.
“I can’t tell what it is,” you say.
She tugs you along. “I don’t want to find out.”
When you finally step foot onto the train you take your hand from Clarisse’s and look down at the tickets. Cabin 4A. It’s near the front, so you find it fairly quick- just a simple one room cabin.
You quickly barricade yourself inside, drawing the curtains and setting your stuff on the floor.
You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding.
“That was tense,” you mutter. Clarisse holds her wrist. She nods, staring down at your feet before sighing.
Somehow, it’s six o’clock. You dig into your snacks, neither of you feeling like leaving the safety of the cabin to go to the dining cart.
The train car has two benches facing each other, overhead storage and a large window. There’s practically no room in between the two benches- the car is maybe 5 feet wide.
You miss Marley. You could always talk to her from across the pavilion during a meal- entire conversations with just your eyes. You miss your siblings, their conversation filling up the silence. Here, there’s nothing.
It’s so silent, and yet it’s that comfortable silence with Clarisse. It makes you miss the before.
That’s all you’ve been doing- missing things and wishing they were different.
The train starts and you stare out the window, the rolling hills and the trees and the small creek. You can feel Clarisse looking at you. You try your best to ignore the way her gaze makes you feel- but you’re alone in this cabin. There’s no one else here. There’s no one else to know if you give in one time.
Something slams against the door.
You breathe in and Clarisse grabs her spear.
“Should I open it?” you whisper, standing up. She sticks out her spear to stop you from moving forward.
The two of you listen, but nothing else happens.
It wasn’t a knock. It sounded sort of like a ball being kicked into the door.
“I’m opening it,” you decide, curiosity killing you, pushing Clarisse’s spear aside.
“Y/N,” she warns, but you’ve already slid open the door.
Absolutely nothing is there. You look out the adjacent windows, down the hallways lined with red carpet.
You shrug. “Nothing’s here-”
It’s cold and scaly when it lands on you.
The same black shiny thing you saw, it’s slithering around your neck, cutting off your air supply immediately. You can’t even scream you’re too scared, hands clawing at your neck but it squeezes and one of its heads rears up to attack your chest-
Clarisse’s spear sails right through its raised head.
It drops, you fall back, gasping, watching as she pins it under her boot and lifts the spear out of it. It’s wriggling and trying to break free- but she stabs it through its other head.
It’s an amphisbaena. A horrible, scaly black snake-sort of thing with a head on each end.
You rub your chest, swallowing a lump in your throat as Clarisse casually picks up the now dead monster and opens the adjacent emergency exit window in the hallway- throwing it out into the middle of nowhere.
She turns back around, frowning at the blood coating the ends of her spear-
You slam into her. You’re breathing so heavily, you still feel like it’s around your neck, but Clarisse carefully wraps her arms around your waist, letting you lean against her as your shaky hands massage your neck.
No one would know.
Her spear falls to the floor.
“Hey, it’s okay, it’s dead,” she whispers, kicking the cabin door closed with her foot.
No one would know.
“Thank you,” you breathe. “Oh, Gods, thank you, Clarisse.”
“No problem,” she says.
No one would know.
“Clar,” you mumble. She stiffens at the nickname. She tenderly brings one hand up to your face, and she wants you just as much as you want her- that’s all this is about. An exchange. You’ll kiss her for the last time and you’ll finally get over her.
“I know,” she mumbles, she feels the burning in her stomach too. You’re connected by that in this one moment, your mutual desire and need. Except she has a need for a new beginning, and you have a need for an end.
It’s so simple.
You both can get what you want from this trip.
“I know,” she says again, her nose touching yours. Your breaths mix in the air. “I know, I miss you so much… so bad, Y/N, you don’t…”
“Show me,” you whisper against her lips, and she does.
You can feel it all, the regret you don’t care about, and the desire and want and need you do care about.
You need to feel more of that. You need to feel special, so when your back hits the the door and her hands are all over you, you tilt your head back and look up at the ceiling, mouth twisted into a moan.
You need her to make you feel special. You don’t feel special without her, without her rough hands and her soft lips. It’s the one trait from your mother that you somewhat despise- the innate need to be the center, to be the focus, to feel special. She’s the only one who has ever made you feel like this.
No one else will ever come close.
“I hate you,” you breathe. You can’t think, all your walls are down. “I hate you so much and I still…. I still…”
She kisses you again so you don’t have to say it.
—-
The bed is scratchy and uncomfortable, but there’s only one- and it’s so tiny you’re pressed right up against Clarisse. She doesn’t wrap her arm around you, even though you wish she would, if only because you’re cold.
Not because you’re still irrecoverably in love with her and you know she won’t. And even if she does, it won’t be in the way you want it.
How can she kiss you like she loves you yet claim she never will? How can one kiss make you so weak in the knees that you’re genuinely considering doing this for any scrap of her you can get?
You stare up the ceiling for a long time, until you come to that weird space where you’re so tired you can’t move and your eyes are closed, but you’re still awake.
She wraps her arm around your waist and kisses your temple.
—-
The next time she kisses you you’ve gotten used to this whole making out with no strings thing.
You’re about to get off the train, so you tidy your stuff and head to the dining cart for pretty pastries and bagels and some fruit. On your way back, maybe 15 minutes left in your ride, someone in a uniform sees two teenage girls heading alone into a room.
When he asks where your parents are, can he see your tickets, you panic and charmspeak him to forget he ever saw this and walk away.
“Close,” you laugh, and Clarisse mumbles some sort of noncommittal agreement before smashing her lips onto yours.
You gasp but kiss her back, just reveling in having her hands on you. Her hands tangle in your hair, tugging back so she has better access to your neck- the side of it already sporting a hickey from last night.
“Did I ever tell you how fucking hot you are when you use your charmspeak?”
“I don’t know,” you mumble, because you can’t think of anything when her lips are on your neck.
—-
The station is luckily only 20 minutes away from the P.o. box, so the walk is quick through the streets of Myrtle Beach. It’s so loud here. There’s cars constantly whizzing past you, people yelling and honking, sirens in the distance. It’s confusing. It’s so different from Camp.
“I fucking hate this place,” you mumble, fidgeting with a loose string on your backpack.
“I do too,” Clarisse answers, but not for the same reasons. Her eyes whip around, searching for anything hiding in the shadows- but the sky is so blue and the sun makes your skin so warm- it seems unfathomable that any monsters would be here.
Of course, they’re here. They just haven’t come out yet.
Clarisse has been angry at the world for as long as you can remember, but you always thought her roughness balanced out with your softness. Ares and Aphrodite, love and war, peace and violence.
You always thought you could bring out that little bit of softness in her.
“On your left!”
Clarisse drags you out of the way just for a man on a bike to speed past you- your eyes flick to the perfectly usable bike lane on the street.
“Asshole,” you mutter.
“Asshole!” Clarisse shouts after him at the same time. He flips you off and continues shouting at more people to move.
Her hand is digging into your arm. She lets go after she huffs, muttering a few more choice words.
She keeps glaring at every honking car and random pedestrian. You roll your eyes when she yells at some random car to go die, laughing.
“Always fuckin’ honking,” she mutters. You know if she ever got behind the wheel, she would do the exact same thing.
“You’re not any better,” you tell her, nudging her hand that’s currently balled up into a fist.
“Yeah, well, I have a reason to be mad.”
Clarisse is angry at the world, but you know she has reasons. She’s not just angry for the sake of being angry, although she finds comfort in the familiar just like you, she is angry at the world that has done nothing but wrong her time and time again.
Sometimes you wish you could have as much fire in you as her. And two months ago, you thought she had enough fire in her for the both of us.
“Why don’t we grab the box and then go to lunch?” you suggest, getting the feeling that Clarisse is about to explode. She looks at you. “We have a few hours until our train back, hm?”
“Yeah, okay.”
—-
Chiron said this mission wasn’t going to be that dangerous, but you are surprised when it really is that easy. You take the key out from the envelope Chiron gave you, opening the blue box and coming out with a small box. It almost looks like some sort of fancy necklace- a long black box with a silver bow on the outside.
“This feels too easy,” Clarisse says as you lean down to carefully place it in your bag.
You shrug. “You’re always so paranoid, just let it all come naturally. Some things are easy, Clar.”
She stares at you for a moment.
“I guess,” she says, sticking out her hand to help you up before you both make your way back out onto the streets.
Her spear is hidden by the mist, strapped to her back, and you’re sure she has a bunch of little daggers strapped all over her. You scan the busy street.
Clarisse snorts at a restaurant called “Mother Earth Green Food” and her eyes light up at the sight of a 80’s style diner- “Mr. Steve’s Burgers and Bacon”.
“We’re going there,” she declares, and you roll your eyes but follow her across the street. It’s not that busy, seeing as it’s still early, so you’re seated quickly. It feels so good and so wrong to be here across from her like this.
It feels like before. Except some sort of alternate reality, where you actually left camp and got to be like this. You still want her and your trip’s not over yet, so you sink into it.
“Hey guys, I’m Miley and I’ll be your server today. What can I get you for drinks?”
She’s got long dirty blonde hair, tied up in two very neat and impressive space buns. Her skin is tan, but you suppose if she lives near the beach then everyone’s skin is tan, really.
“I really like your hair,” you tell her, pointing to the side of her head. She smiles and bounces one of them in her hand.
“Took me forever,” she chuckles. “I love yours, such a pretty color.” You cheeks blush as you thank her.
She smiles at you and goes off to get them, so you turn back to your menu. Clarisse’s foot taps against the floor.
“What are you thinking of getting?”
She sets her menu down and points to some sort of monstrous burger called “The Bomb.”
You laugh. “The Bomb,” you mock. “Will it explode in your stomach, or something?”
She mumbles something under her breath, staring off towards the counter, and you can tell by the look on her face it’s not anything nice.
“What was that?”
She presses her lips together. “Nothing,” she hums.
You shoot her an odd look but she pointedly looks away, and as much as you want to, you decide not to push.
Miley comes back with your drinks, and you thank her as she sets them down. Clarisse mumbles a thank you too after you kick her foot.
“Okay, and what can I get you guys to eat today?”
You have to kick Clarisse again to remind her to say please.
You smile apologetically up at Miley for Clarisse’s sour mood, but she seems not to care, smiling back at you and saying something about how she’ll make sure it’s out quick for you.
“‘I’ll make sure it comes out quick for you,’” Clarisse mocks, her voice a pitch higher.
“Yeah. Isn’t she so nice? And yet here you are treating her like shit.”
“She’s sucking up for a good tip.”
“Or maybe she’s just nice, Clarisse. There are nice people in the world, you know. Not everyone is all dark and brooding or bitchy.”
The silences stretches for a second too long. “Yeah. Yeah, I know.”
You hum, sitting on your hands and staring out the window. It’s times like this your miss your mortal childhood, having access to electronics meant you were never bored. You debate taking out the book Marley loaned you, but you don’t get the chance to.
“I have to go to the bathroom,” Clarisse announces. “Come with me.” She’s already walking away.
“Who’s gonna watch our stuff?”
“Tell fuckin’ Miley to do it, I don’t care.”
You look around. There’s not many people in the restaurant, and you’re curious and bored- so you follow her. The door swings closed behind her, and it takes you a second to follow her in.
You think she’s disappeared, the bathroom empty with two open stalls. The door is kicked closed behind you. You turn around and Clarisse pushes you into the nearest bathroom, her hands on your waist- you moan in surprise, letting her flip the two of you around and press you against the door, her hand leaving your waist to make quick work of the lock.
“Clarisse,” you breathe. “What’s going on?”
“Do you want me to stop?”
You don’t answer and she kisses you deeper.
—-
“Clarisse.”
She’s been smiling at your neck a little too obviously, and when she finally lets you out from under her lips and hands, you immediately turn around and head for the mirror.
“Clarisse,” you repeat.
She’s looking at you in the mirror and smiling. Actually fucking smiling.
“What is wrong with you?!” you yell, turning on the cold water and frantically bringing it to the red hickies on your neck. “Are you a vampire? Oh, my Gods, Clarisse, this is so fucking embarrassing!”
“It’s not,” she huffs. “You’ll be fine.”
“Cl-” but she’s already left. She really has to stop doing that.
—-
Lunch is fine, you leave Miley a nice tip, even though Clarisse scoffs and mumbles that she wasn’t that good- but you feel so bad that she had to watch you wiggle in your seat, desperately trying to hide your neck as Clarisse ran her foot up and down the side of your leg.
You ignore her the entire walk to the station, she barely hides the smug look on her face. Is she just intent on making you seem stupid and weak? Does she want to embarrass you? She knows. She knows you’re still in love with her and she’s playing you like a fiddle.
You thought Clarisse to be a lot of things, and you know she’s cruel and ruthless- but you never thought she could be this way towards you.
You make it onto the train with no problems, and you’re desperate to just get out of this place and back to camp where you can ignore her. You had one last final hurrah, and now you need to forget her.
You stare pointedly out the window. You ate dinner in the dining cart in silence, Clarisse didn’t try to touch you again, but she seems bored of letting you sulk now that there’s nothing else to entertain her.
It’s only about 7:00 pm- you still have an entire night with her, and a bus ride the next day. Why are the Gods torturing you like this?
“Y/N,” Clarisse says. You’re sitting across from each other. Her foot kicks at yours. “C’mere,” she pats the space next to her on the bench.
You snort. “You’re crazy. I’m not sitting near you.”
She shrugs and stands up, sitting next to you while you gasp in exasperation.
“Bitch,” you mumble, clenching your fists at you stand. She plants her hand on the window, trapping you in with her arm.
“Don’t be mean.”
You fold your arms and stare out the window. She’s right at your shoulder, whispering in your ear even though your alone- it makes you feel so special your head gets all dizzy.
“I want you, Y/N.” Not the way you want her.
“I. Don’t. Care.”
She laughs. You can see her reflection in the mirror, she’s laughing and smiling fondly- staring at you.
You whip around and point your finger at her.
“I won’t let you treat me like a rag doll anymore.”
Her smile falls.
“I used to be something you could just swing around, but I’m not anymore. I won’t ever be a toy for you, Clarisse. These past two days were fun, but they were goodbye. When we get back to Camp I’m getting over you, because I’ve spent too much time waiting for you.”
Her hand falls from the window, and she backs away from you.
—-
When you realize that this train also features another small, single bed, you resist the urge to stomp your feet like a child. Instead, you pretend like it’s all fine, a part of you pretends it’s that alternate before- Clarisse turning around while you change and you leave to brush your teeth and then you come back to her in bed.
You lay down, body unwillingly pressed up against hers. She doesn’t touch you, at least, and it’s tense and silent until she breaks it. Her hand finds yours through the sheets and blankets.
“Y/N.”
You try to shake her hand off of you, mumbling that she’s using your tiredness to manipulate you.
“Do you really think that’s all you were to me?”
You’re frozen, she’s right up against your back, breath tickling your shoulder and voice in your ear again.
Your hand still fits perfectly in hers.
“A toy?”
“What else was I supposed to think?”
She utters the two words you never thought you would hear her say.
“I’m sorry.”
Your breathe hitches.
“I-I know I’ve been stupid, I’m not totally dumb. I just, I had it in my head that I could make you fall in love with me all over again. And then I could do it right, I could fix it, and you could teach me how to love you and I would do it right, Y/N. And then I… I got jealous. Because that fucking server was flirting with you, she was, and I got fucking jealous and I fucked it all up.”
She’s breathing heavily at your shoulder.
“I was scared, Y/N. And that… I didn’t know how to deal with that. I was scared because I love you so much I know I would do anything you asked me too. So, I said those stupid things that night, I just lied because I was scared, and I’ll never forgive myself for the way I made you feel. I don’t deserve another chance, but I want to show you that I can do it right. I can do it however you want me too, as long as you teach me.”
It’s silent for a moment.
“I want you to let me love you.”
She lets go of your hand.
“You don’t have to say anything, I guess,” she swallows. “I mean, if I was you I would have killed me-”
“Really?” you voice comes out like a broken whisper, sitting up so you can look into her eyes. You try to tell if she’s lying, but you can’t. It hurts and it aches so good and she’s not lying.
“Y-yeah, I would have killed me.”
You smile. “No, dumbass, do you really love me?”
“Oh,” she blinks, sitting up too. “Y/N, I love you so much that I’ll never be the same person again.”
You don’t want to kiss her. All you’ve been doing is kissing her, sinking into that hard and rough side of your relationship that’s just hot desire.
But there’s a soft part to Clarisse that you bring out. And you bring it out now, winding your arms around her neck, breathing heavily as you rest your head on her shoulder. She hugs you, her arms are so strong, she always gives the best hugs- and kisses your temple like she did when she thought you were sleeping.
She loved you even when she didn’t know you would feel it.
Your fingers dig into her back.
“I love you,” she says again, softly, like she’s caressing the words with such a reverence that they were bathed in golden ichor. “I love you, Y/N.”
“I love you too,” you say back, you let her love you, and it’s the most true thing you’ve ever known.
—-
“Ah, young warriors!” Chiron says, holding his hands out.
Of course, on the tail end of your trip you had encountered tons of little monsters- more amphisbaena, even a juvenile drakon that could barely spit acid. Clarisse had made a dazzling show of killing all of them, and unlike the first amphisbaena- none of them got close enough to touch you.
You had to charmspeak the train conductor, the police officer at the station, and the bus driver. You wonder faintly if your mother had been looking out for you, helping you love Clarisse again.
Of course, all of those instances ended in Clarisse pulling you into the nearest corner.
It’s different, now that you know that you live each other. She still kisses you with that rough deepness, like she’s starved, like she’s trying to breathe you in, but her hands are so soft around you. She holds your waist close to you, not like she just wants to feel you body, but like she just wants to be close to you.
You swing your backpack off of your shoulder, you can feel your mascara smeared down your face from the heat, digging into your bag for the black box.
Chiron smiles and holds his hands out for you to place them in. “You have my thanks,” he says, laying the box into his hand.
You’re surprised when all he does is take out a simple pen. It looks like a nice pen, sure, but still just a pen.
He uncaps it, letting it fall to the concrete, when it suddenly transforms into a sword. You yelp and jump back, Clarisse puts her arm in front of you, and Chiron laughs triumphantly.
“Beautiful!” he says, admiring the carefully crafted sword.
Mr. D dissolves into a fit of laughter. “No more bad blood, huh?”
Clarisse drops her hand from where it reaches for her spear, and her other arm from across your body. Her hands drop to her sides, her face turns back into a mask of indifference and she shrugs.
Mr. D seems to find that even more funny, and Chiron dismisses you with a wave of his hand, staring in awe at the silver sword.
Clarisse presses her lips together into a tight line until you smack a kiss on her cheek.
“Love you,” you sing, and her face breaks out into a wide smile. It’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen, and it’s the only thing you ever want to know. All you need to know is her and her love.
—-
marley when she finds out clarisse and y/n are dating again: if you EVER and i mean EVER hurt her again i will torture you in ways not even imagined yet.
clarisse: ok yes i promise 😟😟
—-
clarisse when she realized she was in love with y/n: NO NO NO NO NEW FEELINGS NO I REJECT THIS AND I MUST RUN AWAY IN FACT THIS WILL NOT HAPPEN NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
also clarisse when she realized she just broke up with y/n: OH GODS NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO WHAT HAVE I DONE NO NO NO NO PLEASE NO NO NO
—-
honorable mention to y/n fuck em’ and hate em’ l/n
another honorable mention to clarisse “none of them got close enough to hurt you” la rue
—-
taglist:
@lvrue @t-wylia @laughingcheese037 @kroumi @urdeadpoet @colezb @rey26 @harmzilla @elliewilliamsbae @amberfreemansburntface @kyuupidwrites @neverwaakeme-up @shark1008 @liballer @heyimadison @nvirskies @pnsteblnme @mar2ss @restellsss @ravisinghs-wife @marsconer @evangelinexo @randomhoex @luvrrish
@sincerely-silk @lacytalks
—-
pls ignore it’s for the acc aesthetics thank you!!
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xo2dee · 15 days
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ᴊᴜᴊᴜᴛꜱᴜ ᴋᴀɪꜱᴇɴ ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ
ꜱᴡᴇᴇᴛ ᴛᴏᴏᴛʜ
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✶ ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: Choso x Reader
✶ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: None
✶ ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 1,003
✶ ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: As sweet as he was, your boyfriend really couldn't cook to save his life.
✶ ᴀ/ɴ: never written for choso but i wanted to start with something little and hopefully something thats not ass as ive planned a choso longfic for the future and wanted to practice a bit. also i like to hc that he'd be a terrible cook ngl lmao. hope you enjoy!
✶ twitter - ao3
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“Um…”
Not your most eloquent response, but you supposed it could match the… delicacy of the situation.
By your side you felt him move, his shoulder bumping against your own as he shifted on his feet at your mumble and ducked his head lower to put his ear closer to your mouth. You could almost feel the sweat lining your forehead, his dark eyes boring into the side of your face as you fought to keep a straight face and stared pointedly at the… ‘food’ in front of you. It was hard not to laugh, your lips quivering and stomach knotting in a ball from holding your breath for so long, but the last thing you wanted to do was hurt your fairly new boyfriend’s feelings.
Even if he couldn’t cook a damn thing to save his life.
(No way Yuji lived with him like that… Either he cooked, or he was eating out every night.)
In your peripherals you eyed Choso for his body language. It was clear he was eager for your answer; perhaps a little praise here and there for his ‘astounding’ cooking expertise, but you weren’t oblivious to the anxious undertones he was permitting as well. It was almost like he knew he fucked up, but he wanted you to give it to him easy, so he didn’t have to come to terms that you and Yuji possible grinned and bared it every time he made something for the either of you two (and you didn’t even want to think about Eso and Kechizu. God they probably scarfed the shit down while Yuji’s stomach fought for its life).
Though looking at the dessert he made…
Choso’s finger dug into your side, effectively cutting off any more mental insults you could throw at the food, and he poked you twice in the hip while latching onto your belt loop, “You’re just standing there staring at it.”
Well, what could you say? “I’m just in awe how you cooked something that looks so good.” Something along the lines of that would butter him up.
Choso sighed, “You’re the worst liar I’ve ever met.” Or not.
You dared a glance at him, sucking in your lips at the dejected pout and longing gaze at the hockey pucks he created out of cookie dough, before relaxing your shoulder and leaning into him, “I mean it. Just a tad overdone –” he shot you a withering look, making you laugh sheepishly – “we can just throw it in the microwave to soften them up a bit.” You really didn’t want to lose any teeth, and Choso had such pretty ones you didn’t want him to lose those either.
The side-eye you were receiving was uncalled for in your opinion, and he was gazing at your face for a rather long time to gauge the expression (and see through your lies) on your face before he scowled and looked back at the mess. Part of you wanted to reassure him, knowing he really did try his hardest, but other part of you didn’t want to lie straight to his face and save yourselves both a future mess on your hands for lying. Honestly, it wasn’t a huge deal, but Choso also looked so sad… like a little baby panda sad…
You went to reassure him (truthfully that time), yet at that moment your boyfriend uncurled his fingers from your belt loop, took one of the hockey – cookies and promptly banged it against the counter in a sound so deafening it promptly stopped the words on your tongue as you both stared.
“…”
“…”
You both stood in silence for a moment, and then – “Wow, it’s so hard not a single crumb fell off.”
Choso sighed – again – and grumbled something under his breath while scratching the back of his head, “You hate it.”
Your eyebrows rose, fingers curling around his wrist to throw his arm over your shoulder as you fought off another laugh from his behavior, “I don’t hate it. It’s just… you burnt them.” Leaning further into him whenever Choso finally relaxed, you began to pull on his cheek and relish in the tint turning a charming shade of red, “Plus I think it’s sweet you wanted to make me cookies.”
He hummed, eyelashes fluttering and lips twitching as he avoided your eyes to showcase his embarrassment, “It’s been three months since we started dating.”
Your heart and stomach flipped timeously, still not used to Choso’s blunt attitude when it came to expressing parts of his feelings for you. He was still rather reserved in some instances, but more often did he leave you speechless when he decided to openly show his affection for you in ways that didn’t involve any physical intimacy. You couldn’t blame him for trying, but you did want to get away from the burnt cookie smell…
“So sentimental,” you teased, giving his cheek one more pinch before guiding him back to the couch where popcorn and a movie you had planned awaited, “Let’s just stick to this tonight. Maybe one day we can make cookies together… so they don’t burn.”
He answered you through a squeeze with his hand, following you dutifully and at ease from your suggestion. Though as you flicked through possible movies to watch, you couldn’t help but tease him a little more.
“How did you forget they were in oven?”
“I don’t think I set the timer.”
“I mean it happens to all of us.”
“…They could be edible –”
“No.”
“No, I mean – I think Eso and Kechizu might eat them.”
“Oh yeah, you’re right. Though it’s a wonder how they’re still alive if you were cooking for them the entire time.”
“I can cook some things, even Yuji says so.”
“Yes, the Yuji who eats takeout almost every night. Imagine what’d he say if he saw –"
Choso’s fingers found your lips, pinching them together and effectively shutting you up as he decided on a movie himself and not having to hear your mouth.
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bertoyana · 4 months
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funniest thing to #Me about the use of charles' telepathy in charles' and erik's relationship in the prequels is how both of them suck SOOO bad at using it LMAOOOO
like, you'd think having a telepath in the dynamic would actually help things along with the communication, but they are both USELESS at making use of it
charles will use it to crossdress erik and tell angel how much he wants to fuck him and erik will use it to tell charles how much he wants to be controlled, but that's ALL they use it for. it's not even horny or funny anymore it's just SAD, man. they suck so bad at it
(the only time they ever make good use of it is when charles unburied one of erik's memories with his mother, and that's it)
erik just automatically assumes charles knows everything and that he knows WHY erik does the things he does (because charles is in his head, so he MUST know, right?) and charles automatically assumes erik understands the hidden meaning of every single thing he says (because erik is also in charles' thoughts, so he SHOULD know, right?)
(wrong. they are both stupid and they will keep going in circles for 30 years straight)
like. take their first interaction in xma as an example
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(on the other hand, i don't even want to think about the "you are looking in the wrong place" line because it makes me want to k1ll myself in front of the writers)
they are in each other's heads right now, and yet they are not even LISTENING to each other, they are just going in circles because both of them are too wrapped up in erik's own grief to actively try to hear what the other is trying to say. and while you can tell charles is hurting for erik and wants to help him, he's probably not going about it the best way
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also if you pay attention at the start of the scene, when erik feels charles in his mind he just... looks confused, curious maybe, as to why charles is there, but he doesn't get angry or defensive straight away. he just lost his family for the second time (simon kimberg i'm in your walls) so he's probably even welcoming the only familiar thing he still has left.
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he doesn't get defensive UNTIL charles starts talking and just kind of... also starts putting his own foot into his mouth. bless his heart.
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and the thing is, while they get interrupted by apocalypse... being there lmao, i don't think this would have pan out any different if it was just the two of them. as i said, they are not listening to each other. charles means well but he's not really listening to what erik is trying to tell him, and in response to this erik is rejecting any type of help charles wants to give him.
and we know apocalypse was using erik's grief (about magda and nina, about the camps) to manipulate him - *we* as an audience know that, but back in this scene, charles doesn't even NOTICE apocalypse. and this, plus the fact that as we've established, they SUCK at trying to listen to each other and communicate, just brings the entire thing to failure.
(also imagine being the most powerful telepath in the world and being too focused on your best friend to notice the god standing a few steps away from him... which could mean nothing)
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(mind you. they are literally in each other's heads rn. they can hear what the other is thinking and feeling. AND YET)
and it's even funnier (no) how they are even WORSE without charles' telepathy. take as an example, both of their fights in the plane in dofp
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from charles' point of view, erik was the one that left him. erik literally and physically LEFT him in cuba, took the only teleporter there was and left charles to bleed out (lmao). meanwhile, from erik's point of view, he might have left first physically, but he only did so after charles rejected him. so, from HIS point of view, charles was the one to pull away FIRST. when he told him they didn't want the same thing (rejecting erik's ideals and by thus rejecting erik himself as well)
(and charles also let erik to rot in prison for 10 years so he could be also referring to that lmao)
this also brings me to my other point. which is something that i do think is pretty much ignored by everyone, but to be fair, it's also ignored by the movie so,
and it's the fact that the movie establishes that erik has been isolated for 10 YEARS. again, we as the audience know that charles has been struggling for the past 11 years, we know he did all he could for the mutants and we know he's been struggling, and we also know he's been using the serum because he couldn't stand the voices.
mind you, erik doesn't know any of this. not only because he's been in prison for 10 years (and i doubt they let him keep up with the news) but also because charles doesn't tell him any of this (fair)
and the last thing erik said to charles before they parted ways in cuba was that they wanted the same thing, which charles denied.
so from erik's point of view, all that he knows is that charles promised him all those years ago that he wasn't alone, and then he rejected erik in cuba, sent him away, and then proceeded to give up on erik and on their cause by doing nothing when the mutants were being tortured and experimented on. and he started using the serum and living with hank like a normal human being, sacrificing his powers and 'betraying' their cause.
ofc none of this is what actually happened, and *we* know that. but erik doesn't. and for some reason??? that i find extremely hilarious??? no one ever BOTHERS to correct erik's assumption, lmao. also none of this ever comes up again in the movies which to me just means erik went on believing that charles just briefly gave up on their cause for 10 years LMAOOO
okay, moving on bc i still have things to yap about
the other plane scenes comes in. erik shows up with the chessboard, they actually DO talk a bit and erik tells him he didn't mean to kill jfk (can't believe i wrote that down these movies were insane) and then they settle to play chess. AAAND this scene comes in
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and he apologizes for SHOOTING charles, because he never meant to hurt him, and he does regret that. but he's not apologizing for leaving, because, once again, from his point of view, charles left HIM
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and then charles hits him with the most pathetic saddest wettest expectant look in existence (james mcavoy you are insane) because he thinks erik is going to apologize for leaving
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and then erik hits him with this LMAOOO
and charles realizes erik is apologizing for shooting him (something i'm pretty sure charles didn't exactly blame him for? his biggest accusation was that erik abandoned him)
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and you can see charles literally and figuratively backtracking and shutting down immediately AGAIN.
(because, again, charles thinks erik left him, and erik should apologize for that, but from erik's pov? charles rejected him, he pulled away FIRST so he wasn't the first to abandon the other. charles was)
(they both are wrong and right in a way. they also don't tell each other any of this)
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then it's erik's turn to give charles the wettest and saddest look known in mankind, charles shuts down, refuses to even look at erik, he changes topics and erik lets him.
(they never talk about this again, btw)
(it probably blew up in their faces in genosha. i just know they make everyone's life miserable as hell in there . god bless)
anyways, i'm sure someone smarter than me could make a more interesting analysis of how you can tell they do genuinely care about each other, but their failing to communicate properly just brings them to their fall down over and over. especially because it's something that keeps blowing up in their faces all the time in the prequels. something something the failure of telepathy something.
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cinnamonest · 4 months
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ohman ohman- listen-
I've been reading the kazu/scara/albedo/xiao posts (modern au or not) and it just got me thinking about how much stronger men are compared to women-
It's totally accurate how they end up dominating reader with their strength. Like I'm not weak at all irl, but god help if I can ever beat the skinniest dude in an arm wrestling match and these shorter and slim boys got me feeling all type of ways. Like OKAY, maybe darling still has a decent fighting chance with them vs with boys like childe etc but the formers' arms, hands, legs, fingers are still bigger and longer than yours dhdjsksj. For the incel ones (because they don't have that supernatural strength and all as in the canon AU) it might just be one of the few things that boosts their ego, lol!
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So real omg I remember there was a point in time where like, I thought that guys were only stronger because they were bigger/worked out more and that if a guy and a girl were the same size and worked out the same then they'd be equally strong, and that scrawny guys were weak… as you can imagine I got humbled so fast lmao
(also thank you anon after the e-girl post I’ve been eager to make a post with all the modern AU boys :3)
-
Deeply in love with the thought of both parties having the gradual realization of just how drastic the male-female gap in strength is — a devastating slap in the face from reality for darling, and a euphoric power trip for him.
Especially with the modern AU for those boys, like… sure, you both know deep down that guys are naturally somewhat stronger, but neither of you realized just how much.
Society’s tendency to shy away from acknowledging the topic has perhaps left darling a bit naive…. dangerously so. Like, playing-with-fire levels of naive, cocky and bratty towards boys like them even after they’ve kidnapped you, thinking that well, they’re short, lean boys, so surely they can’t hurt you, and if they try you can just fight him off, right? It’s not like he’s a broad bulky guy, whom you’d actually have reason to fear…
You may get the chance to notice it more subtly at first — you watch as he picks up something rather heavy around the apartment and think to yourself how odd it is that there’s no strain on his expression, no grunting as one would do when performing physically strenuous tasks, in fact he picks it up and carries it over with a perfectly neutral expression, like it’s not even difficult… maybe it's just not as heavy as you thought…?
But it quickly proves to be what you fear — the reality is you have severely underestimated this aspect of sex difference.
Xiao actually has the most wholesome, tolerable version of this. He has a tendency for not verbalizing his thoughts, he just sort of… does things. One of the more common manifestations of this is that he just. Picks you up.
You’ve been sitting over there doing your own thing for a while like you requested, but now he’s lonely and sad and he wants you over there with him so he just walks over, locks his arms around you and suddenly your feet are off the ground.
He just sorta disrupts you from whatever you're doing and carries you like you're a limp sack of flour on a regular basis, setting (or throwing) you down wherever he wants you to be instead. It's easier than asking you to move. It doesn't even really occur to him that this surpasses your assumption of his strength capacity until you mention it… and at first he thinks nothing of it, but gradually, hearing you grunt in surprise each time you're hoisted upward and the way your feet kick outward actually starts to feel quite nice. A little ego boost, even if he's quieter about it than the others. He didn't realize he was so strong compared to you.
And then you start coming to him to get him to open jars and pick up things you can't, and while he does it all with the same fairly melancholy demeanor as always, internally it actually makes him very happy and prideful each time, makes him feel needed and important and all. He focuses less on the aspect of your weakness and using it against you (unless he’s mad), and more focuses on being strong and hoping that you like it, carefully coordinating efforts to show off in ways that he thinks are subtle enough to seem unintentional (spoiler: they’re not). Unfortunately, mixing protein powder into energy drinks does significantly impact their taste, but he views it as worth it. In the fantasies that play out in his head, maybe one day you’ll even outright tell him he’s sooooo strong in that cute voice like the girls in visual novels do.
Thankfully he's not too outwardly obnoxious about it, and he doesn't degrade you for it (again, except maybe a bit passive-aggressively, but only if you're being mean and hurt his secretly very sensitive feelings first, OR unintentionally due to his dense nature and consequent tendencies to make very blunt statements without thinking them through). He may or may not be deliberately tightening the jars each time he closes them to ensure you need him for it next time, though.
Scara is the inverse because he doesn't really see or emphasize it as himself being strong, more like you being weak.
But no, maybe he's wrong. At least in that case, he has his whole body weight to rely on keeping you down, so that's probably why it felt so easy…? Until then you're being whiny and bratty and he pins you to the wall instead, wondering why you're acting so upset yet not actually fighting him for real… then he realizes you are actually trying. You’re not just half-heartedly tugging in a whiny way, you’re like, actually trying to pull yourself out of his grasp, and giving it your all.
He's also caught off guard by it, early on. Here he had all these backup plans to subdue you if you managed to writhe your way out of his grasp or fight him off, but then in your initial struggle, he quickly realizes how incredibly easy it is to keep you pinned down, and no such plans are necessary.
…And that’s the best you can manage? Seriously? That’s how much weaker you are? It's almost astounding. The shock quickly transitions to pure amusement and satisfaction, and once this difference is discovered, he's going to use it to make your life hell.
He loves the newfound discovery, and actively exercises it at every opportunity. It scratches the itch of those sadistic impulses just perfectly and soothes any bruises to his ego, especially with how apparent it is that it upsets you, how you struggle harder and harder and your eyes prick with humiliated tears and you groan in frustration. So he just ensures he utilizes his superior strength constantly, always holding you down or grabbing you by the arm and keeping you in place, always holding you into uncomfortable positions in bed, and the more you struggle to no avail, the more he seems to enjoy it.
It's actually kind of hilarious too, how you can just be running your mouth and snarling at him one second and pleading and teary-eyed the next, forcibly bent over and held down with your face smushed against the countertop, begging to be let back up, trying with all your might to push your palms onto the surface and push yourself back up to no avail. Him mocking you the entire time doesn't exactly help you keep the tears in, either, but when you start crying it just makes things worse, since that's just used against you to tell you how emotional you are. Emotional and dumb and weak, girls are really such a handful to deal with, sigh…
You can tell how much he enjoys constantly reinforcing your awareness, reminding you of the difference, and it infuriates you — and the more it infuriates you, the funnier and more satisfying it is for him, and the more he does it, and the miserable cycle continues. The only way you were able to actually get some leverage was by insinuating that he only enjoys it because he needs the ego boost as psychological compensation for being so small for a guy… and while you know you're right, the resulting soreness was ultimately not worth the momentary satisfaction of saying so.
Albedo is the most obnoxious about it because one, he's the most acutely aware of it from the start and will make sure you are as well, and two, he finds the whole thing amusing. The man is whipping out the studies and Science™ to explain exactly why he has nothing to fear from you and why you'll never be able to overpower him. Blah blah skeletal muscles this, sexual dimorphism that, fiber size anaerobic muscular metabolic capacity something something… it's too confusing for you to understand, the only thing you know is how infuriating the smugness is.
It's cute to him that you initially have no concept of your inferiority. You still try and fight him and push him and take things from him, only to end up pinned down or hoisted up. Like a… dumb little animal of some kind, that walks right into an obvious trap or attacks its own reflection, is how he sees you. He has no issue telling you this either, he likes seeing how furious it makes you, knowing you can't do anything about it.
He's the worst about constantly applying this as much as he can specifically in bed, too. Keeping your hands pinned above your head, making a point to inform you that restraints aren't really necessary due to your physical inferiority. Telling you with that infuriating dry tone that if you hate it so much, surely you can summon the strength to break free… saying that always ensures you put on a funny little display of struggling.
He’s selective, though, about how he torments you, so the severity of how unbearable he makes the matter depends on how you react to it. His form of sadism is a quiet one, but still quite obvious with how he picks at your weaknesses — so if it’s something that doesn’t bother you that much, he’ll go for something else, but the more it upsets you to be reminded of how much stronger he is and why, the more outright insufferable he’ll be, ensuring you’re constantly reminded that it’s only natural — a smug gesture of faux comfort, disguised as reassurance of normality, but deep down you know it’s really intended to rub salt into the wound by reminding you that it’s essentially immutable, making you feel powerless. He’s a little bastard like that.
Although out of the four, it's by far the most amusing (or vaguely terrifying, for you) with Kazuha.
It's all so… subtle. He’s so sweet, so gentle in his voice and demeanor and mannerisms, and then you find yourself bristling as you watch him snap something in half, lift something, bend something, whatever, that you definitely would not have thought he should be able to. Something that makes you do a double take and sit there slack-jawed and wide-eyed while he continues to go about whatever he’s doing, talking about this or that in that soft voice.
And then when you watch movies laying in bed and try to wiggle away from his hold, the way you feel it tighten so hard you fear your ribs will snap, and he wraps his fingers around your wrist so hard your hand goes numb, you realize it’s not taking any effort on his end at all, he's doing it practically half-asleep.
Even though those incidents make you uneasy, he’s just so gentle-natured that it’s easy to forget and end up acting out at him yet again, getting mad and being a brat, you even go so far as to try and hit him — but he catches you by the wrist, holding your arm firmly in place.
Very firmly. So much so that, when you reflexively jerk backwards, you would have thought you were pulling against an iron chain. He doesn't budge. It makes your heart skip a beat, especially when you see the slight twitch to his smile.
And then you see his eyes widen just a bit. Perhaps surprised at how light your pulling feels, how little strain it causes him.
He never really addresses it out loud, but you can tell that he's increasingly aware from that point forward of just how big the strength gap between you is.
It's actually a bit insulting once you start noticing the shifts and changes — he doesn't tie you to the bed anymore when you sleep. Why would he? It'll be so easy to just pull you back down when he feels you move. You can easily tell that he's noticeably more at ease, he goes from having just the slightest detectable panic when you start to defy him or struggle to being completely unbothered, now that he's realized your defiance holds no weight. He starts a habit of giving you a little warning squeeze if you're making him too upset and being very very bad, just a light little tightening of the grip on your wrist or waist as if to remind you that you both know how much stronger he is than you, that your being very unwise to upset him… and you always notice how his smile grows when it shuts you up instantly.
It's honestly almost more infuriating that he does it all so quietly — you almost wish he would acknowledge it, but instead you get this quiet, unspoken realization and mutual understanding, a ‘you know he knows you know’ sort of situation, and with that mutual understanding comes your gradually increasing lack of defiance, a slow despairing acceptance… and you can tell it makes him very, very happy.
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credince--writes · 2 years
Text
Hands (1)
God, you dream of those hands.
Original Prompt:
Size Kink & Breeding Kink with Konig.
Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - AO3
Konig x Fem! Reader
(A/N): I accidentally fuckin deleted the original post while trying to add links to the other 2 chapters, so reposting LMAO. I'M SO SAD BC IT WAS ONE OF MY BEST PREFORMING POSTS.
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Honestly? It started in a very innocent way.
"I'm taking off your gloves."
He sat in front of you, tapping his foot on the cold tile. Currently under the attention of you from the intended use of his hands in combat.
Which is why you were inspecting for broken knuckles.
Most of his gear had been taken off, set aside along with the hood that donned his head on missions. Now, you were pulling the gloved that clung to the asking of his hands off. Inspecting the pale skin beneath them.
"You know, I'm starting to think you do dumb shit like this on purpose." You glance up at him.
"I'd never." He replied.
"Because I'm lookin' at these hands, and I'm seeing a whole lot of unnecessary bruising."
"It was necessary."
You quirked a brow.
"You just, happen to lose your gun there soldier?" You pulled back, leaning back against your seat and shooting him an amused glance.
"Sometimes, things are better done by hand."
"mmhm." You mumbled.
Eyes trailed up his hands, finding stray scars and following the veins leading up to his forearms.
Man,
those were some big hands.
"Is everything alright, doctor?" He asks, amusement twirling around in his eyes, sparking out in his voice.
Maybe he was catching on to your oogling.
"Just making sure nothing broken. Can't imagine it would be fun to work with broken fingers."
"Nein."
"This hurt?" You ask.
"Nein."
"Then you're fine. I'll give you some meds and send you off on your way."
"Danke!" He shot up, clamping a hand down on your shoulder, man near enveloping your entire left side.
You started to imagine what it would be like if that big hand wrapped around your neck.
"Be careful, please."
"Of course." He shot a sideways, toothy grin. The side that his nose crooked over to and the side with the one crooked canine that made him look like a dog ready to chase a bone.
He turned, starting to walk away.
"You know, König." You stated. He stopped a turned around. "If you want to visit me, you don't need to have an injury."
His eyebrows raised, and you could swear there was a blush that tinted his cheeks. "I'll consider that for next time."
Before turning and leaving.
And he did visit you.
One visit turned into two.
Then four.
Then he just popped in so often while he was not on a mission he became part of your routine.
Have a cup of coffee with König in the morning, maybe even join him for dinner and enjoy it in the sanctity of your quiet and private office.
Just so happened that the longer you spent with him the more your thoughts were clouded.
His hands,
his thighs,
fuck, you can't even imagine how big his cock would be.
You'd like to think you were better than this.
Pressed up in your shower thinking about the huge man, wondering what his bare chest would feel like curling up over your back.
You closed your eyes, trying to picture just how good it would feel.
It would be right after he comes back from a mission, the dark look in his eyes still clouding his consciousness as he's still in the mindset of a soldier, a killer.
His steps would be heavier- you'd hear him walk into the bathroom, the rustling of clothing as he strips the cloth covering his flesh discarded down to the ground without a second thought.
He'd slip into the shower, with your head placed under the stream of hot water. Almost comically so, his head would be unable to reach the stream of water without immensely bending at the knees.
You'd hum, leaning back into him as he'd reach his arm around your waist, pulling your wet body closer to his. Head dropping down for his mouth to latch onto the nape of your neck, biting and sucking on the sensitive skin.
Gasping throwing your head back farther and allowing it to bump against his shoulder, letting out a light whine that he'd love to harvest from your throat.
One hand would drift down, widening his palm as it flattened and slid down your tummy, nearly covering the expanse of your abdomen before it dipped down, lower.
His other hand would grab your chin, pulling your head back to meet into a feverish kiss. Pressing your back up against the cold wall of the shower, holding it up against it.
On a normal occasion, you'd be terrified to slip, but you just know with his arm slinked around over you waist toying dangerously close to your cunt that there was no chance of slipping.
No chance of him letting you go.
A digit would brush up through your folds collecting the slippery production of your arousal, dragging his finger ever so carefully up until it traced around your clit. Circling it, dangerously so.
Applying pressure as the rough pad of his finger pushed against your clit, mouth devouring any noises you let out.
It hurt, in a way.
One that was so delicious you only wanted more.
His large finger pressing down on your clit felt heavenly, the feeling of his tongue pushing against yours as you swapped spit in the most degenerating fashion.
Your hips unconsciously pushed forward against his hand, bucking as he pressed you firmly against the wall.
He'd tsk, giving you a light scolding before removing his mouth from yours completely, allowing a thin strand of spit to cast its way from him lips to yours.
God.
You could just die.
He'd snicker, that snicker that made his lip quirk upward revealing his crooked tooth. All before he'd lean in and ask,
"What do you want me to do, Schatz?"
"Fuckkkk." You'd whine, letting your head bump against the shower wall. "Please." You'd whisper out.
"Hm?" He'd ask, still toying his finger around your clit.
"Finger me- fuck, please. Please finger me."
His finger would leave your clit, diving back down and just barely poking into your entrance.
The digit was long and thick- it felt like nearly two of your own being stuffed inside you. Even more so as the single digit could curl up in such a delectable manner pressing up against the spongey roof of your core.
You'd breathe harshly, ducking your head up against his neck and arm gripping at the expanse of his back and nails digging into the pale and freckled flesh.
He'd add a second digit, and you felt like you were on cloud nine.
No,
You felt like you were on cloud nine as he removed his free hand from you, bringing it down and rubbing on your clit as his other hand pumped mechanically in and out of you, curling his fingers forward and circling the pad of his finger against your clit.
It would feel like your legs would give out first, but he'd keep you upright as you came, his mouth would latch onto yours. Shoving his tongue into your mouth claiming you in the best way possible.
Body draped over yours, his large hands pleasing you to the point of competition-
Blinking, you realized there was no man draped behind you.
The water in the shower had run cold a long time ago, but the pleasant buzz in your head from your shameful masturbation numbed any embarrassment for a few moments.
You sighed, turning off the water and glancing down at your fingers.
For now? Thinking of his large hands would have to do.
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heaven4lostgirls · 1 year
Text
Never Enough (S.R)
pairing: steve rogers x reader
warning: angst, allusion to breakup, Steve chooses Sharon over reader.
summary: Steve leaves you, thinking you’ll wait for him.
word count: 1.3k
a/n: I’ll be honest, this isn’t my best work, but I thought why not get something out because I’m pretty sure the next chapter of mr americana and the heartbreak prince will be a little delayed cus I have so much work to do but I hope this tides you over until them lmao.
part 1, part 2, part 3
“Steve, I swear to god if you walk out that door, we’re done” you say as tears run down your face. It’s radio silent in the Avenger’s compound as Steve stands in front of you about to leave because Sharon had called him because of an ‘emergency.’ After she had found out that you were Steve’s girlfriend, she found ways to come in-between the both of you and somehow, she was succeeding. This was your third fight about Steve just leaving out of nowhere when she called for him, you don’t know how much of this you had in you.
“Don’t be dramatic y/n” he rolls his eyes, “we’ve been over this, she’s just a friend” he says, and you cross your arms over your chest. “Steve, how many times do I need to tell you that she is not just a friend to you? A month ago, she wanted to get into your pants” you raise your voice and Steve’s expression only grows more annoyed, “She doesn’t want me like that anymore!” he says, your expression grows even more annoyed. “If you step a foot out of that door Steve, I won’t be here when you get back” you threaten him and watch as he hesitates before he says,
“She needs me y/n” he pleads with you and tears if frustration line your eyes at his words. “What about me?!” you cry out at him incredulously, “she! Is not your girlfriend Steve! I am!” you throw your hands in the air as tears run down your face in silence and watch as Steve’s irritated demeanour breaks “I’m going y/n, we can talk about this when I get back” he says and slides a hand down his face in exasperation. “Steven Grant Rogers, don’t you dare” you threaten as he again walks to the door. “I’m sorry y/n, I’ll be back” he rushes to the door as he feels his phone buzz again.
As soon as the door to your shared room closes. You’re sliding down the wall as you sob uncontrollably, why was it so easy for him to pick her? Why did he pick her? Why were you never enough?
The rest of the Avengers stand outside your door, hearing your heartbreaking sobs is enough for tony to get Friday to unlock your door before he crouches down next to you, letting you wrap your arms around him and sob into his shirt. “Why wasn’t I enough?” you cry and Tony’s eyes mist over at your heartbroken whisper, he shakes his head as he rubs your back “you are perfect” he whispers as he kisses your forehead. Tony had always been like a father figure to you since you had joined the Avengers, a little older than Peter, he had taken you both under his wing and taught you everything you needed to know.
As much as it hurt all the Avengers to see you so broken, it hurt Tony that much more that this was the one source of pain he couldn’t protect you from. As your anguished sobbing turned into small sniffles, Tony lifts your head and wipes your nose with his sleeve, “eugh” he makes a face and smiles at the small laugh you produce.
You loom around the room to see Peter, Bucky, Sam, Natasha, Bruce, and Wanda all standing or sitting in different parts of the room, watching you with sad gazes, you know they’ve probably already heard the entire fight and you find yourself collecting yourself before you stand up with the help of Tony to look at all of them, “I cant stay here” you admit to them. Their faces fall as they realise that this isn’t your usual fight with Steve and by him choosing to check on Sharon instead of staying with you, he’s lost his place in your life.
Some nod solemnly and other eyes mist over yet they all share an overall agreement knowing that they are willing to do whatever they need to help you heal. It’s surprisingly Tony who voices what everyone else is thinking, “do you not want to wait to hear what he has to say?” he asks softly as you lean on his chest. You shake your head as tears begin to fill your eyes again. “I asked- “your voice breaks, “I begged him to stay” you tell them and watch as sympathy floods their faces.
Wanda and Natasha are the first one’s moving in order to get you out of there, they give everyone tasks so that you have some breathing room, Tony is organizing a safe house out of state while Sam and Bucky are working on getting a plane and pilot to fly you to it. Peter is making food and trying to stock up the house with groceries for the near future and Nat is overseeing his orders to make sure he doesn’t put just junk food on it.
Whist everything around you is moving faster than you can imagine for you to be out of the compound before Steve gets back, which according to Bucky is in the next hour, You and Wanda spend time packing your clothes and essentials you’ll need to have. The quiet in the room is comforting even though you can feel the anxiety slowly overcoming you at the idea of finally leaving Steve.
Wanda breaks the silence as she bombards you with a hug, “I could feel your pain, I thought this might help” and it does, Wanda has an aura around her that is so comforting for everyone around her. You both continue packing before you’re interrupted by Bucky knocking on your open door, he smiles sadly, “we’re ready for you” he says and you nod, picking up the two duffel bags lying on the floor, leaving a piece of paper on the bed before you walk out to the quinjet.
Bucky stops you before getting on the plane, as he grasps your arm, he pulls you into a hug and you know this is his way for apologizing for Steve’s behaviour. “it’s not your fault Buck” you whisper, and you feel him nod into the hug, you were both friends through Steve and you knew just how scared he must be in fear of losing you because of what his friend had done.
Peter is next and you can’t help but laugh through your tears as you see him with tears running down his pouting face, he looks like a puppy. “c’mon parker pull it together’ you roll your eyes and pull him into a hug as he sobs, “you do know I’m coming back, right?” you whisper as his sobs stop and he nods and you both giggle together. “we’re ready for take-off” you hear the pilot through the megaphone, and you release peter to walk onto the plane.
As soon as the door opens for you, you hear your voice being called desperately. “Y/N!!” you hear, and everyone turns around to meet Steve’s broken expression. “NO! Please just hear me out!!” he’s screaming through his tears however Bucky holds him back. “No! Stop the plane please! I need to talk to her” he yells and tries to fight off Bucky to get to you, but you ignore him and wipe your cheeks and make you way onto the plane, “NO! Please y/n stop! I’ll be better baby! Just get off the plane please!” his screams are drowned out as you make your way to the couches on the plane and sob.
“Y/N! Please! Let me talk to her! Please someone! Let me talk to her!” his voice becomes hoarse from all the yelling as he watches the plane take off, he doesn’t stop struggling in Bucky’s hold until the plane disappears. “I’m sorry, God I’m so sorry” he cries into his hands before he collapses, crushing your handwritten letter in one hand as he sobs. Bucky lets everyone leave as he sits with Steve on the ground, watching his best friend fall apart on the dark asphalt.
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lowkeyrobin · 6 months
Note
Mcyt with an s/o who's a voice acter for video game characters? They mostly do voice characters in horror games n stuff(like until dawn, where the characters are also modeled after the voice after if I remember correctly)
I just think their faces would be hilarious if the choice they make in the game ends up with y/n getting killed lol
OH MY GOD YESSSSS ; also tried to use different games and not the same for everyone but I'm not the heaviest story game gamer LMFAO ; also don't talk about how timeliness wouldn't make sense shhhhhh
MCYT ; video game voice actor
includes ; tommyinnit, ranboo, badlinu, nihachu, quackity, & foolish gamers
warnings ; language & fictional violence and death/murder
masterlist
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TOMMYINNIT
somehow the topic of mc story mode came up and how you actually voice acted a few characters + one of the Jessie variants (whichever you picked as a kid 🙏)
"WHAT? WHY DIDNT I KNOW ABOUT THIS?"
"I mean I was like, fourteen. I don't think I even knew you yet"
"absolute betrayal"
he literally speeds to his office, downloads the first game and proceeds to stream for three hours playing it (he selects whichever Jessie you voiced of course)
"OH MY GOD THAT IS MY PARTNER, HOLY SHIT, LISTEN TO THEIR BABY VOICE!"
the tweets never end
"spot the difference" and its an old/new pic of you compared to jessie
💀💀💀💀
once he gets to the save Petra or Lukas scene he straight up pauses and playfully yells at you like you made the game?? 💀🙏
he dies so many times it's not even funny
love him tho
RANBOO
Detroit become human
the moment he finds out you voiced a minor character he speedruns trying to find you
the character is also modeled after you, so he's begging chat to keep an eye out for you too
you're basically just some very friendly person trying to help Connor but no matter what route he/the player takes, you wind up dead for the angst
ouuuu the heartbreak, the angst
if it's by being shot, betrayed, or committing your own death, you're gone bro
"y/n why the fuck does your character die in the worst ways possible?"
you shrug
"that genuinley hurt my feelings. I don't wanna play this anymore"
"you didn't get to Connors possible death scene yet!"
"WHAT?"
FREDDIE BADLINU
TLOU 2 (I don't support the makers zionist views, I just thought this fit. free Palestine and do your daily clicks)
was literally cheering you on the whole time when you were bts for voice acting your character
you had to take like scream classes to upgrade your screaming abilities lmao
you gave the voice to a character modeled after you, an infected teen who runs into ellie on her way through the game
she/the player is forced to put you down because you're not immune
L
he plays through the game and turns to you like "dude do I actually have to kill you to progress?"
you just nod
"I'm sorry, I didn't wanna do this"
THE DESPERATE SCREAMING GOT HIM
literally looked at you in horror
"...are you okay?"
you smile and nod
NIKI NIHACHU
life is strange
mf you would've been like 16?? damn get ur bag, okay
she plays through and you va (whoever you choose) and everytime she hears your voice she smiles
"omg that's my partner! that's y/n, you guys!! :D"
the cutest
literallt cries at the end of the game
"y/n, were you in life is strange two?"
"why?"
"Cause I wanna play it but I don't wanna get my hopes up about you being there"
"just play it, just play it. trust me"
ALEX QUACKITY
twdg s4
basically clem/the player gets really close to your character and ends up having to kill them after they turn into a walker
the angst, the heartbreak
he's never done a full let's play / game play like that before and especially with a full game series
when he got to s4 and heard you for the first time he literally started jumping around and screaming
now when you die... it's jumping and screaming alright (in anger and sadness)
"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? I PLAYED ALL THOSE GAMES JUST FOR YOU TO DIE?"
"I mean there's an option to prevent me turning, you're just a dumbass"
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN? IM RESTARTING"
FOOLISH GAMERS
dead by daylight
you va'd multiple characters/killers
and the devs wanted to show appreciation by giving you your own playable character with your natural voice
when foolish finds out, he gets tubbo, quackity, tina & niki in a call to play dbd + stream for like 6 hours
loves seeing all the death animations you'd be given and all your voicelines
"OH MY GOD! guys this is my partner, they're so instantly talented at voice acting, holy shit!"
"we get it foolish, you love y/n"
"It's more than love, quackity, it's an obsession"
"my brother in christ, calm down"
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webslingingslasher · 1 year
Note
Hi Mm this is socks lmao, but could I request something with reader having a horrible day where everything goes wrong, nothing feels right, and she's tired of like carrying the world and everyone one else on her back and Peter is just the sweetest guy ever babying her and hold her while she cries? Yep that's me, but with no Peter
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sowwy it took so long, i had a few requests for this and put them all in one giant pot. i also hope everyone here is feeling better ❤️
Totally broken, you just needed someone to hold you. 
It had been an awful day of an awful week of an awful month. Punch after punch, you couldn’t take anymore. Holding yourself the entire walk to the frat house, only allowing yourself to sniffle and keep a steady flow of tears, nothing too hysterical to pass in public. 
Almost tripping over a curb you choke back a sob, all you could do was manually breathe and think of the path to the house. You weren’t even sure why you wanted to go there anyways, you’d never gone to Peter before all upset and choked up. 
And knowing him, he’d hate it and send you away informing you that taking care of your crying mess wasn’t in his job description. 
Focusing on breathing, you knocked at the solid door and prayed Peter would answer, save for any of his brothers mid breakdown. But, like most of today and this week, things did not go in your favor. 
“Trouble?”
He wasn’t your boy. 
“Is Peter here?” shoddy breaths, you’re about to collapse in a sob, you shouldn’t be here. “Actually, nevermind, I’m,” you inhale sharply, tears skip down your cheeks, “I’m, um, gonna go home.” 
Spinning on your heel a warm hand closed around your wrist tugging you inside, “no, you’re not. Parker would fucking kill me if I let you leave like this.” Wiping your cheeks and trying to pull away, “he wouldn’t want to deal with me, I should…” shaking his arm off and trying to make a dash before he caught you by the hood of your jacket. 
Gagging you pull at the neckline, “what the fuck, Ethan?” 
“Parker!” He calls up the stairs, adrenaline killing your tears, trying to pull away but useless in his grip. Jerking the fabric, trying to release it from his hold, “let go, Ethan!” 
“Parker!” Wincing at the shriek in your ear, “see? He doesn’t care, I sho-” 
Your shoes squeak on the floor, holding your jacket as far as you could from your neck when Ethan dragged you across the landing of the house, fumbling into his chest to stop the tension. He was being anything but gentle, raising his fist to pound at the wall. 
“Parker! Get the fuck down here!” 
While trying your last attempt to break free, Ethan twists the hood in his hold, causing you to pause in an awkward position, if you moved you’d be choked. “Ethan, I swear to fucking god I’ll-” 
“Park-” 
Stomps on the stairs.
“Say my fucking name one more time, Keznek, I fucking dare you.” 
Like a deer in headlights, you freeze. The second Peter hits the landing his frustration was washed into concern, not even caring his brother and best friend was watching, pouting all soft. You weren't crying anymore but the evidence showed, written all over your face was a cry session.
“My baby,” feathersoft, his words scooped you up and held you. Ethan’s hand dropped the second Peter took a second step, abandoning post and taking the stairs two steps at a time. Standing in front of you, his thumbs run under your eyes, “why’s my girl so sad, hm?” 
Suddenly, that lump in your throat you’ve been swallowing won’t stay down. Blinking fast trying to stop tears, which fails useless as your bottom lip trembles and he’s being so soft and he’s never been this comforting before. A sob escapes, the dam breaks. 
Peter’s never seen you cry before, you’ve called him once before while upset and he thought that hurt him. Watching you cry and desperate for air makes him break, he’s never had a girl come to him so broken. He doesn’t even know what to do or say, “give me a cuddle, c’mon, I know how happy that makes you!” 
Instantly you’re wound around him, exhaling shaky breaths in his chest while he scratches slowly at your back. Tears bleed through his shirt but he doesn’t say a word, he thinks he might be making it worse because you’re getting worse. 
Racking breaths made him push you away, he was genuinely scared you’d pass out. 
“Okay, c’mon. Take a breath and follow me, okay?” Choking as you gasp, his hand holds yours tight until you reach a room off the kitchen, Peter sits on the edge of a couch and holds your hands. “Deep breath, baby.” You try to do it but fail, whimpering an apology. “I’m not asking you to stop crying, I just need you to breathe.” 
It’s weak but he takes it, “one more for me,” it’s smoother this time, rubbing at an eye to clear your vision. Gulping, you force yourself to take another deep breath, this one ceasing the tears for the moment. 
Peter pushes himself backwards to sit on the couch, patting the small spot next to him you follow the command. Your butt in the small space, legs thrown over his lap. “You almost knocked yourself out, trouble.” 
He’s trying to lighten the mood but you just feel vulnerable and sad, resting your cheek on his shoulder you sniff. Voice breaking at the words, “I’m really sad, petey.” And fuck, he hates that nickname, but the way you uttered it, like a child with a terrible confession, made him want to hold you and never let you leave. 
Hands tickle up and down your legs, “wanna tell me why?” 
Blowing a shaky breath you shug, a tear falls when you blink. 
“I mean, everything?” To Peter, it sounds like you’re holding back and he won’t stand for it, not until he knows what made his girl cry like that. 
“I’m here for you to unload, I’m trying to take that,” he gestures to your body, “and put it here,” crumpling the tension into a ball and forcing it into his heart. 
“I failed my math test, I was fired from the campus store, Zoe and Lana are fighting and they want me to pick a side but I know they’ll get over it and then I’ll always be the asshole that chose a side, and to top it all off my sister called me and I felt like it was my job to give relationship advice cause,” you give a dry laugh, “obviously, I’m in the right position to tell people about their shit boyfriend.” 
A shit sandwich, you were right. Everything was wrong. 
“What can I do for you?” 
Because he feels helpless, but he’s done more than enough already. 
“Just… hold me.” 
“I can do that.” 
And he does, even a little longer after you said you were finally okay. 
655 notes · View notes
bones-of-a-rabbit · 11 months
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the abandonment issues au,,
where Sun and Moon gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss their way into ur heart
and then turn into sad wet baby kittens when u find out and call them out on it <3
(copy and pasted from the space aces discord, sorry fellas lmao)
abandonment issues au:
ok what if. fucked up au time
where. reader is the new daycare assistant or a mechanic or smthn idk theyre working withh Sun and Moon thats the important part
i think it works better if theyre like, Sun n Moon's handler? Bc they r closer that way and it makes it more fucked up lmaooooo
so basically. this takes place right after Sun n Moon had their best friend-handler person leave bc Sun n Moon had been acting increasingly volatile n buggy n rlly just having issues but the more the previous handler tried to talk to them abt it and fix it the more they got anxious abt getting decommissioned and would cover up the problems n act like nothing was wrong
and eventually one day the previous handler nearly got rlly hurt and knew they had to leave bc it wasn't safe for them and they left a detailed warning/report for the mechanics
(and they didnt say goodbye, not out of malice or anything just bc they didnt want even more reasons for Sun n Moon to act up/potentially hurt them or themselves)
so. the mechanics did a total clean up of Sun n Moon's system, basically left their memories but scrubbed their data of a lot of the 'feelings' they'd had- mostly wiping away the feelings tied to 'good' memories, and the only thing Sun n Moon could do to fill in the void of 'feelings' was assign different feelings in their place, so when they once looked back and felt happy or nostalgic, now they feel confused and angry and sad and betrayed bc why was all of that happiness taken from them?? why did their handler hurt them like this??
so the scrubbing of their systems, which was one thing they really really didn't want to have done for fear of losing their memories entirely, DID work in putting their issues on a much lower level,, but it didn't get rid of the issues entirely. Now they're just,, easier to hide or play off or ignore. They're careful around the kids, of course, but they do at times have trouble with their motor controls or their speech will glitch slightly, etc
a few handlers come and go, never staying for more than a week or so- none of them really care about the job, don't see Sun n Moon as coworkers but more like fancy 'machines' with no real thoughts or emotions, they normally leave after Sun or Moon has a glitchy moment and nearly hurts them or, in at least one case, does hurt them by squeezing their wrist too hard. more often than not, the ppl applying for the position read the list of warnings n cautions and are like 'hell nahh' and bail immediately
then. in comes,, reader. local dumbass. most endearing of idiots. a bit dense. very much clueless. dearly beloved
you're the first one to really treat them like your coworkers, making small talk and being friendly and kind and patient and laughing at their jokes. you smile when you introduce yourself, offering your hand for them to shake- not afraid of them or their little twitches at all. god, how they missed that. you remind them of their previous handler, if only in how you see them like theyre people and not machines.
and they make a mutual agreement to do whatever they can to keep you as their handler. even if it means dodging around company rules and policies by doing something like crumpling up the confidential 'warning' forms, ortelling the occasional white lie, like forging your signature onto the papers when your back is turned and making sure it makes it to your manager without either of you noticing who exactly was putting it on their desk.
you've already started calling them your friends the first time they have a glitchy moment. you're doing detailing work on their endoskeleton, really just cleaning dust away and making sure everything looks the way it does in the manual, when they break something- a tablet, a pen, your phone, whatever it is, it happens in an instant and startles you.
when Sun n Moon come to and realize whats happened theyre terrified. what if you use this as some kind of excuse to leave? What if you abandon them, just like their previous handler did? What if you start treating them differently, or you tell the staff that they need to be scrapped
so when you ask what that was about, they're frantic, quick to come up with something, anything that might make you shrug and forget all about it,
"Well, you WERE just working on their insides, right? That must have been something YOU did to suddenly make us do something like THAT! There's no way else it could have happened. Right?"
You take the lie hook, line, and sinker, apologizing profusely, promising to try harder to make sure nothing like that happens again. The relief they feel is almost euphoric. They pat you on the head kindly, reassuring you that they know you didn't do it on purpose, it was just a little mess up! You're fine, friend, we forgive you.
From then on, they dodge blame and truth alike, most often redirecting your attention to something you must have said or done to make something so strange and out of character for them happen so suddenly, and you believe them, full of apologies and careful words and actions and nervous worrying about doing things wrong and hurting them somehow. It's cute, how anxious you can get. It's cuter, how you melt for their comfort and reassurance. 
They play the song and dance with you again and again, weaving doubt and guilt into you more and more frequently. Until one day, you mumble something about how 'maybe i'm not cut out for this, maybe i should switch to be on the janitorial team instead, or some other department, i don't want to hurt you guys, or-or be the reason someone else gets hurt, i clearly dont know what im doing, and it's only gotten worse, maybe i should talk to my manager,,' and they panic
don't be silly, friend!!!! you can't just leave like that, what about the kids, what about that puppet show you had helped them plan, did you really want to just abandon all that?? so what if maybe they had the occasional hiccup, you were always there to smooth it over, who cared whether they dropped things from time to time, or- or broke a toy or two, that didn't matter, did it??? You were getting so good at being their handler, your little mistakes were normal, come on, you don't want to leave your very best friends. Do you?
and you cave, agreeing to stay, and they are so, so extremely careful to hide their little moments from you for several weeks, making sure you don't notice their tiny twitches or split seconds of glitchy voices, maybe keeping a closer eye on you than would be comfortable, watching over your shoulder each time you type up a report about the day, giving the manager a loathsome glower behind your back whenever they happen by,, and every time you leave you say 'i'll see you guys tomorrow!,' they grab onto your sleeve and respond with 'promise?' so you always know that they really, really do want you to come back
and then. one day,, you decide to go looking in their files for something small and silly, like what kinds of updates had been added to their pick-up protocols, and you find the warnings and cautions forms
and you see your signature on them, but you would definitely remember this and you are absolutely certain you have never seen these papers in your life. and you take the papers and you go to ask them about it.
"i thought you said you never had any problems before? you told me you never had any issues before but this- this is full of things that you- and you, you've been having these problems for that long??"
they stumble over their words, frantic, panicked, backpedaling on everything theyve ever said, trying meekly to grab the papers from your hands, piling excuses on excuses 
"you knew? you knew you were having these problems, and you didn't tell me? and you- you told me it was my fault!"
you're close to tears, hurt that they lied more than anything. you keep backing away from them, dodging their attempts to get the forms. they don't know which is worse- seeing that look on your face, or when they were left without so much as a goodbye.
"you could have told me. i thought i was the reason for everything, i thought i was hurting you, and you just... you lied right to my face and let me think that."
theyre putting on their best soothing voice, movements slow and gentle, wanting to comfort you and wipe those tears away and reassure you somehow that this- this isn't their fault, none of it is, it never was, they're fine and you're fine and nothing was ever wrong, and everything will be fine if only you calm down and stay
you can tell they arent really listening. you take a deep breath and turn away from them, scraping the tears from your face. you tell them you're going to go home and write up a report about all of this and when you come back you can go over it together before you send it to management, but right now you're leaving because you need space to breathe and time to think
but all they hear is that you're leaving, and they panic.
they don't hurt you, of course! but right now you're not allowed to leave.
you try to shut out the sound of them crying and apologizing and begging, even if it breaks your heart, because right now all you want to do is go home and lie in your stupid bed and have a stupid cry in your favorite pajamas. but you try every door you can think of- none of them open. you've sstayed past closing more than once, but the doors aren't normally shuttered for another two hours,, and you're pretty sure the night guard isn't even here yet
the entire time you're walking around the 'plex, Moon is trailing sadly behind you, waiting with the saddest, most pathetic wet cat look an animatronic can achieve, for you to turn and face them again
and thus begins what is probably the longest night of your life, spent trying to avoid your animatronic friends/coworkers who are acting like the worlds clingiest ex who just got broken up with and who can't stop dropping sad love songs in ur dms
by the time morning rolls around, they agree to actually go to parts n services and cooperate and try their best to get whatever is wrong with them repaired, even if it means they might get decomissioned. in the mean time, you promise to come back once they're fixed and work with them to help them get back to their old selves- or at least, back to how they were before any potentially dangerous bugs
basically this is the 'sun and moon have abandonment issues and gaslight you abt it' au
idk what else would happen tbh idk why i thought this au needed to exist either but here we are *lays facedown in a puddle*
320 notes · View notes
sourbinnie · 1 year
Note
can i req skz reaction to 9th member drunk gn!reader alcohol made they sensitive, they started to cry and apologized for skills vocal/ rap/ dance with time spent and poor memory but end with apologize for stealing snacks (ΦωΦ)
my english so bad hope u get it (⁠´⁠-⁠﹏⁠-⁠`⁠;⁠)
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title -> drunk thoughts or sober words pair -> ot8!skz + 9th member!reader (gender neutral) genre -> angsty at first but fluffy in the end :] | hurt/comfort lowercase intended + no warnings a/n -> MY FIRST REQUEST yippeee, i'm so excited and i hope it meets your expectations<3 if it's not, i can obviously rewrite it! just let me know! also don't be harsh on your english bb, i'm not a native speaker either and i try my best every day for it to be good lmao
i knew as soon as the night began that this wouldn't end well (at least for me). the more we talked and spent time together, the more drinks that were being poured and oh god, did my members change personalities when they drank. of course not wanting to be left behind, i drank as well.
maybe a bit too much? i don't know, i'm not good at keeping track of things when i was in this certain mood. my thoughts started to consume immediately, i wished it would've been just one bad thought that tried to get me but it felt like a million in one moment. the dreaded one was that i did not deserve to be in stray kids with all these talented guys when i was just not in the same lane as them. when chan chose me, i knew i had to give it my all, but now another era coming by soon, all the teasers filmed and ready to go, just looking at them i wondered what was i doing in this group in the first place. 
i didn't want to think it was out of pity.
but sometimes it led me to believe that it was the only coherent thought.
alcohol wasn't for me huh? and just as soon as i'm doubting myself, the conversation turns serious.
"thank you all for being my bandmates, i couldn't ask for a better team." chan said and i bit my lip as i tried to not let my sensitive side take over (mixing with the sadness in my chest). 
"wow our leader is getting sappy again, are we surprised?" minho responded as he mocked him with his tone and chan just pushed him. everyone was in their own world, either talking, drinking even more or just having a good time their own way. i could feel a pair of eyes on me though and it was none other than felix. he followed every move i made and i couldn't even look at him in the eye 'cause i knew i would break down.
that's when he got closer to me, changing seats with changbin and looked at me sincerely with those hopeful eyes of his.
"you know you can talk to me right? i know you're a sensitive kind of drunk." he said trying to lift up my mood and i tried to laugh but it came as a choked out sob. "hey, look at me it's okay just let it out." he repeated to me and i just fell into his arms, the embrace that i needed to let my frustrations out.
"i don't know what happened, it's like suddenly i got so insecure about everything." i said and now everyone's attention was on me & my tears. they wouldn't stop flowing down my cheeks as i tried to explain what was happening but couldn't find the words other than the sincerity in my heart of how i felt. "i-i feel like i don't deserve my spot on the team".
complete silence fell upon the table, i could feel that everyone was shocked that i just admitted that.
"why would you think that (y/n)?" felix asked, as everyone was still trying to understand what was happening, especially chan, feeling like he did something wrong. "you know you're just as talented as everyone on this table". 
"that's the thing i'm not." i said smiling sadly and wiping my tears away. "i'm not the best singer even if i am a main one, my rapping still lacks and god my dancing is just nothing compared to you guys and i won't even start on my visuals." i said as i felt the knot in my throat getting worse 'cause i just couldn't believe i ruined the night with all my insecurities like this.
again the silence was so loud, it almost felt like i was in the right on this one.
"i hate that you're feeling like this (y/n)." hyunjin said in the most serious tone i've ever heard him use. his hand on mine as he played with them, made imaginary shapes like he does sometimes. "i could not agree with you or your mind at all".
"you're easily the most crucial part of the team." jisung said and seungmin nodded as they looked at me and i didn't know what to believe. it was hard accepting these kind of responses when you're so clouded by your own sensitivity (and a lot of alcohol). 
"you always know what to say, you're always there for us when we need you the most and you have so much to give, your talent is immeasurable." minho then said as he got closer to me and as the person who wasn't the most affectionate or the best with words, surprised me. "i know i don't tend to show it but i'll always have a soft spot for you and i'm happy chan chose you to be with us."
"you were meant to be here with us right now and you deserve so much." chan said as he got closer to me and hugged me, a hug from my leader was also something i did not expect to receive tonight but i gave in as i needed to feel the comfort of the people i loved the most.
it was as if time stopped for a moment and all i could think about was them, their smiles, their comfort and their way of showing me that i'm truly needed and loved. no more tears were flowing like rivers down on my cheeks, just a pure and blossoming smile.
"okay but... chaeryeong didn't eat the last ice cream bar, it was me." now if the silence was bad before, imagine right now. "i'm sorry, okay? i needed another one, i'm just insane like that and i stole felix's brownies the other day but i'm not sorry about that one."
"(y/n) i take it back, i'm taking your brownie privileges away." felix said dead serious and then laughed making everyone lose it again. "you can't do this every time i bake!" he exclaimed but i just pouted looking at him.
"also the freakin ice cream bar, how did you even get chaeryeong to lie for you?" changbin asked and i just did the same thing, i pouted like a baby looking at him. "nevermind, i get it, i would do anything for them, just look at that face!" he said as he hugged me.
"i'm losing my maknae position to a snack stealer!" jeongin exclaimed and i just laughed knowing i had the best chosen family and i wouldn't change it for anything in the world.
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astrologylunadream · 10 months
Text
Someone Wants To Comfort You Right Now📱🌪🖤 (Pick a card/Tarot reading)
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Hello, this is Lunadream✨ This reading is meant to turn your sadness⛈ into sunshine🌤! Hopefully it works, we will find who is reaching out to comfort you and why~♡ hope you find your message📬🖤
Notice: Only take what resonates because the most important thing is your own judgement!♡ If anything doesn't resonate, don't worry! It's not your message right now <3 (Entertainment purpose only. All rights reserved)
Now, shall we begin~? ^w^ Think deeply how you feel right now, and pick whichever pile that fits the energy you're feeling~✨
Pile 1🧤
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Pile 2🦋
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Pile 3☯
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Pile 4💀
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Take your time and choose carefully with the heart~♡
On to the readings —> ☆✨🖤
Pile 1🧤
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Sign energy: Indecision, Violence, Impact, Chemistry, South node, Virgo, Pisces, Jupiter, 8th house, Vertex, 🔪🩱🗞🤒
🌧Your energy: Aww you guys I just want to give this pile a big hug🖤 You have been through a LOT in the past, and now you don't even know what to think of it. Some of you are Virgo, Pisces, Sagittarius and Scorpio. You have been hurt by others before, I am specifically called to say Virgo. Now this could be 6th house placements as well but you have been in some painful situations in the past, I'm so sorry but if you have been subjected to violence this is definitely your pile. You may have had huge intense feelings for those who only made you suffer, and used you for their own benefits. You could have been involved in a news article or have been associated with someone who made an impact on the news (I feel called to say someone being arrested, or violating the law). You may have a comfort stuffed animal, or have a comfort playlist. You have been hurt from close connections and experiences with intimacy. You may fear fate and feel like you are destined to be hurt (that is NOT true😰), I feel like this pile tends to tolerate a lot even if they shouldn't, you say you're fine when you are not fine😭 My pile 1's need to heal and be happy because you have dealt with sucking it up for too long.
🖤Who wants to comfort you: Vent, Event, Book, Seen, Eyebrows, 6th house, Pisces, Aries, Water, 12th house, 🤚🩹💙👸 Omg this may be someone who sees you often or at a regular spot, you may be unaware of them or not know much about them. Virgo, Pisces and Aries energy is coming through. This is a very mysterious person, they really want to hear you vent and let it all out. This could be your therapist, someone you have booked a session with or a scheduled a venting event (a vent event lmao what am I saying) this is someone who may have raised an eyebrow about your situation, they could be very nosy about your current state but only because they are worried about you. This is a spiritual and devine encounter for them to reach out to you, they want to send you love and healing.💌 I am called to say they wanna tell you "you are a queen, keep going and don't let anyone stop you from healing"👑 lmao, well they are right. This is a very spiritual individual, I'm getting that they read books a lot. They wish you would tell someone trustworthy how you are feeling, and what you have been through. This person wishes they could bandage your emotional wounds and help you up onto a pedestal of protection and strength. My god this is a really sweet person.🥺🖤
📬Messages from them: You and them, I wish you felt the same, I want to take your pain away, Ugh, I want to make you happy, I've seen other people, You have this look in your eyes, I can't believe it (😢💙💙) Extra cards: Previous, Finger, Order, Angel, Sweet, Neptune, Taurus, 9th house, 10th house, Scorpio (This could be a guardian angel for some of you♡⭐)
Thank you my pile 1's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!✨
I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 1 with the gloves emoji~🧤 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💙
Pile 2🦋
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Sign energy: Father, Compulsive, Yellow, Fox, Passion, South node, Pluto, 5th house, 7th house, Air, 🕳🧠♑🔪
🌧Your energy: Alright my lovely pile 2's your situation is complex rn, I definitely see some you guys falling back into repeated cycles. Scorpio/Leo/Libra/Taurus placements, Pluto in the 5th house for some of you. Capricorn is coming out but I feeling a strong energy of hating Capricorn or those traits. If you like the color yellow this could be a confirmation💛 Some of you may have issues with authority or tend to rival those with power or control. Now this pile may have had a father (or more dominant parent) that you hate/don't get along with well. You have a mind of your own and you hate getting manipulated with it. You have experienced people in positions of power being very conniving and selfish, and you wish to have power over these people in order to protect yourself. My pile 2's have a very negative outlook on those that tell others what to do, but this is for a good reason. You don't want to support those who have power over you and others and especially choose to do bad things with it. In the past you may have felt very imbalanced or unfair, could be through your childhood. You often feel powerless or fall into the same connections and mind games, and omg you just wanna cut ties!!😫🔪✂️
🖤Who wants to comfort you: Position, Accident, Compliment, Far away, Late, South node, 9th house, Cancer, Juno, 5th house, ⛓🏝😔✔ Hmmm okay over all this is a very caring energy like you guys someone does really care for you rn💙 They may not be near you physically but they are comforting you the best they can. They want to protect and keep you safe especially from an emotional standpoint, this is a message for only some in this pile but I'm called to say that if you have been dating around or having casual meetings and not wanting to be in a committed romantic relationship, this person is telling you that you are at a point where you need to find a potential committed partner that will keep you safe because they are saying you may not find another chance.🥺♡ Now for some others in this pile this is someone you are refusing to commit to, and have been holding it off for a long time. A romantic connection is possible. You feel distant to this person whatever the case, as if you are on a deserted island far away. This person feels the need to find you my pile 2's, they also wish they could tell you how great you've done and how much you have learned.🤗 They hope you will be free from your mental chains and heal somewhere it is safe. This could be someone from college/university or an educator, they are very well cultured I'm hearing. Could have been an accidental meeting, this is someone from your past.
📬Messages from them: Have you heard of me? Imagine us together, Look at me, Your emotions are to intense, I knew you would feel this way, You might get hurt, You look to good to be sad, I feel so left out, (omg😭) Extra cards: Dating, Fit, Chains, Beauty & the beast, 12th house, Libra, Cancer, Neptune, 3rd house
Thank you my pile 2's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!✨
I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 2 with the butterfly emoji~🦋 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💙
Pile 3☯
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Sign energy: Frozen, Chiron, Gossip, Soul connection, Over, Jupiter, Saturn, Air, Juno, Mars, 🎀🔜♏🧱
🌧Your energy: My pile 3's are thinking of someone right now🙈💗 I'm seeing some very cold energy though, some of you may have ended a relationship recently!! Something that hurt you greatly and now you will be healing to the fullest😩💙 This was most likely a romantic connection, and now you are putting your walls up from any kind of power dynamics, gossip, and mistreatment. I'm getting that for some of my pile 3's this was a Scorpio partner you chose to shut out. You are still stuck on that connection though, and I'm hearing you can't get over them (especially if you guys were intimate). You may have had a soulmate connection with someone but you have blocked yourself from having those types of connections because you don't want to make the same mistakes.😥😢 Sagittarius, Pisces, Capricorn, Scorpio and air placements. You may be the type to be really into pink adorable aesthetics, or love dressing up cute as a way to cope. You have been through a lot of rumors, others talking about you especially behind your back. But omg my pile 3's you are going through a transformation soon!!🦋 You will finally set yourself apart from things that don't serve you, and you will be strict on who you let in your life. This could happen really soon watch out for jupiter transiting in your chart especially the 8th house!!
🖤Who wants to comfort you: November, Mad, Purple, Sleep, Release, Gemini, South node, Earth, 2nd house, Lilith, 💼☯🍬🧳 Ahhh my pile 3's this is someone from your past, they are reaching out you at this very moment!! OMG this could be the romantic connection you releasee and disassociated with🤯😱😱 I'm getting that this person feels you are "sleeping" on the relationship, and it is "driving them mad" wow. But they want to comfort you right now, they want you to rest, and leave all of the bad energy and negativity you have experienced, to take care of yourself💓 This is someone who is willing to pay for pile 3's sorrows, they would buy whatever they could to make you happy again..🥺😖💙 Gemini and Taurus energy. I feel like this person is very guilty about something, especially the past. The month november could be significant or that is when they are coming to you, perhaps this connection was separated during the month. Now this person does not want things to get worse for you, they really think about you often. I'm getting that they see you as their other half, their dark/light side. I think they know they messed things up, but they want to let go of the past and they want you to focus on self care and relaxing, ridding yourself from bad vibes.😊💤💙
📬Messages from them: In your imagination, I feel bad, Thank you for everything, Tell me why you're sad, I don't want to break your heart, Take your time, I want to learn more about you, We're both lovers even if it's subconscious (My pile 3's your person wants you to feel comforted rn🥺😭) Extra cards: Optimist, Amusement park, Safe, Treat, Difference, North node, Earth, 4th house, Aquarius, Capricorn
Thank you my pile 3's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!✨
I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 3 with the yin & yang emoji~☯ Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💙
Pile 4💀
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Sign energy: My love, January, Maze, Restriction, Style, 2nd house, South node, Cancer, 7th house, 3rd house, 🩲🦀🧜‍♀️🧍‍♀️
🌧Your energy: I'm getting such siren vibes from this pile, like so magnetic and attractive.🖤 Very hot vibe for this pile haha~ Taurus, Cancer, Libra, and Gemini Gemini placements such feminine energy for you guys <3 Love has been on your mind recently, but I think you have tried to push away relationships a little or not allow yourself to fall into emotions with romantic connections. You are a very stylish and unique, from the way you dress to the people you're around. You love shopping and buying clothes and accessories~ you may flaunt your outfits in selfies🛍🕶🖤 I feel you attract romantic attention effortlessly from your style and the way you express yourself.😍 You don't let yourself have intense feelings because in the past you would get lost in them easily. You enjoy talking about things you like, but you never say what's really bothering you deep down.⛈ Emotions are difficult for you, especially repressing them. No one really sees what goes on under your cool exterior, but you have a soft side to you.💕
🖤Who wants to comfort you: Age, 2nd house, Distance, Choice, Secret admirer, Juno, Venus, Jupiter, Libra, 10th house, 🤷‍♀️📱💚😓 Omg omg this is someone you are not romantically involved with but they have a thing for my pile 4's for real🤯🖤🖤🖤 Ahh they could be older than you by a few years, but they are not someone you are familiar with. You may not know this person at all but they are a potential life partner for you guys it's crazy but this is someone very secretly attracted to you guys, they may have seen you from social media or somewhere online.🥰 This person actually wants to step up and comfort you!! The type to take all your baggage and worries and sweep you off your feet, give you everything you need I mean spoil you...😍💸🛍 My pile 4's this person wants to comfort you now even if you don't know each other yet they wanna be there for you. I'm hearing they want you to distance yourself from social media or using your phone to much, they want you to take breaks and do other things you like. This person hopes to send you love in some way and comfort you, l mean they are so sweet even with the distance between you guys that like doesn't bother them because they just want you to feel better.💓 Definitely someone you will see as marriage material, this is someone with lots of money so they can buy you whatever you want🙈💸💸💸🖤
📬Messages from them: Now is not the time, You shouldn't keep things to yourself, We're too different, Tell me what's been bothering you, Have you heard of me? Tell me the truth, Give it to me, Don't tell anyone (Omg just themmm😍😫🖤) Extra cards: Below, Union, Perfect, Release, Peace, 11th house, 4th house, Air, 2nd house, North node (Omg they see a family🏠 and marriage💍 with you they want to comfort you the second you guys meet it's so romantic they just wanna take good care of you...😭😭💞🖤)
Thank you my pile 4's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!✨
I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 4 with the skull emoji~💀 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💙
Wanna see more readings like this? Check out my tumblr for accurate readings for you!💗🌊🌸
Thanks for reading! \(*^w^)/💌 -Lunadream <3
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hugemilkshake · 3 months
Note
Hey can you do more uh...self aware cookie run au with anxious reader? Just I can't help but imagine more scenarios of y/n being anxious and thinking 'OH MY GOD IM GONNA DIE!' Buuut end up spoiled by cookies. Here are some examples I thought up but if you think of anymore cute and fun things, I'd love to see em too!
Y/n goes to the hollyberry kingdom and meets pitaya. Thinks they are gonna die to dragon...nope, dragon just wants to encourage y/n to make smores or roast jelly dogs over their flames and if a single one of the cookies who sabotage the competition even think for a SECOND about interrupting that, then they got another thing coming!
Y/n thinks they are gonna die to the licorice sea or the traitor affogato cookie when encountering them....sea acts kind to y/n somehow (or just ignores em...your choice lol) and affogato just wants to spoil y/n with sweets! (Bonus: instead of joining the COD....they go with y/n as something along the lines of 'you know what? I don't want to take over this kingdom anymore. I don't want it anymore, I want y/n! King, I admit to everything, please banish me so I can run away to y/n's kingdom!') Lmao!
Golden cheese kingdom...y/n goes in, thinking glitches are gonna kill em buuuut all the digital cookies make sure y/n is feeling safe, happy, and comfortable....aaaand golden cheese gives em lots of hugs lol! Can imagine being wrapped up in her wings feels really good!
Enjoy the milkshake! I had to give an excuse for writing about affogato cookie- I mean, the dude caused me brain rot. Also I’m not writing any golden cheese stuff because smoked cheese massacred my team and I’m angry at that (my team had way more power than smoked cheese)
Somewhat plot relevant?
-platonic self aware au-
Normally you had means of controlling your anxiety but at this moment, there was no way you could control your anxiety. You were in the middle of a forest! And not even one in your own world! It was one in the game you had recently just gotten into!
You were only on episode 4 in the story mode so you literally had no clue where you were. You just sat on the ground and started to silently panic.
But at some point a cookie you did see once in the cookie unlock screen kinda picked you up and just took you to a palace? You don’t really remember what the cookie said but they weren’t hurting you! So that must mean something!
But you were now having a feast in this palace with a cookie who you learned was actually a dragon- well anyways the dragon said they were Pitaya Dragon, also known as The Red Dragon. You did panic for a moment before Pitaya told you to just chill out and have something to eat.
And you know what? It was actually quite fun! The Red Dragon talked about other dragons and nice fun stories while the two of you ate, you were sad to go but you had too. You got some berries and stuff you could sell as a wondering traveler. Though you did tell Pitaya you’d come back one day so might want to stay close
——————
You had gone from a warm and humid forest to a frozen wasteland. What’s more to say? You had everything you needed to survive and villages were quite nice to you, you had your own gear so you didn’t bother them too much.
But you did befriend a peculiar cookie when you were by the Dark Cacao kingdom…
A cookie who looked quite lavish found you and seemed a little lost and panicked… kinda how you were when you first got here…. You felt bad to the cookie so you went to talk to them
Apparently his name is Affogato Cookie and he was banished from the Dark Cacao kingdom on the grounds of the false accusations of him trying to upstage the king. Poor guy…
Now since Pitaya Dragon was so generous to you when you had nothing so you decided to help Affogato get back in his feet since you should be passing on others kindness!
What you didn’t know was that one Affogato lied to you, two Affogato had connections to Dark Enchantress and three, he would become your travel buddy. So now the two of you travel around as friends :3
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plutoccult · 10 months
Text
ALWAYS THE ARTIST, NEVER THE MUSE
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pairing: eren yeager x gender neutral reader
description: you know you shouldn’t have let yourself fall for eren, but you did anyway, and it only left you with nothing but hurt when you knew his heart belonged to another. after months of torture, you finally have the strength to let go, granting you the happiness you so desperately needed back in your life.
word count: 1.7k
also available to read on my ao3 here
author’s note: happy december? no, angsty december. this particular one shot is a little personal for me because it’s based off a final conversation i had with someone who i essentially let have hold of my heart for far too long and finally had the strength to let go of them a few months ago. he’s like jake gyllenhaal minus the age gap. i say this because he gave me the ability to relate to the moment i knew aka not being there for my 21st birthday! insane! i did however make it less personal by giving it some how i met your mother vibes, but there’s still inklings of my personal life in it. writing helps me heal and express my feelings in a way that i’m comfortable with, so i feel good writing this as part of my healing journey? corny to use fanfiction for healing, but to each their own. sorry if this is too angsty, but imagine how my life has been LMAO. anyway, big shoutout to my friend @toorubobatea for beta reading this. i really wanted her to read it before i posted it, so thank you queen!! and now i hope you guys can enjoy it just like she did! mwah! and i’m tagging @jeanboyjean since she so kindly asked me to <3
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you knew that the day you met eren yeager, your life would never be the same, but my god, did it your life turn upside down. pulled in so many different directions you couldn’t tell what was left or right anymore. you felt like you were losing yourself in the process, but you wanted more of him like you wanted to breathe air.
it was always a mistake. one beautiful, soul-crushing mistake. he’d lead you on with mixed signals and uncertainty, but you lived for the thrill because it was the only interesting thing going on in your life. it’s “for the plot”, as you’d always say. even if your friends told you a million times he was bad news and you would only get hurt in the end, you didn’t care.
he was just your friend, that’s what you two always claimed; just friends, but you always sensed a hint of a lie in those words. you couldn’t be just friends. not when he remembered everything you said down to what you had for lunch last week or that time your mother fainted as she watched you get stitches for the first time as a kid. not when he spoke to you everyday like clockwork, a routine that seemed to come easy. how could you ever be just friends? how could it not be more?
you were inevitably in love with eren yeager, and it crushed you when you realized he never once had those feelings for you. not only that, but he was in love with someone else; mikasa ackerman, his best friend since childhood. it all made perfect sense, and you wished you never met him in the first place. but even then, you couldn’t keep yourself away from him. as long as he didn’t know of your feelings, everything would be fine, right? oh, how you were so, so wrong.
you tortured yourself every time you spoke to him. you listened to him as he pined for mikasa, too scared to admit his feelings to her. of course you knew what it was like to be in that position, the one you wanted was sitting right in front of you and he didn’t seem to have a clue. it frustrated you so much, but even so, you’d rather have something instead of nothing with him. such a sad way to feel, such a sad way to live when you think about it now. always the artist, never the muse. constantly crafting for others, nothing ever created just for you.
you’d push those feelings deep down into the darkest pit of your heart, but no matter how hard you tried, it would all come back every time you saw his face or even thought of him. those thoughts of maybe if you were prettier, funnier, and just overall better plagued your mind, but you had to shake them away. one day, you knew, you’d ultimately become fed up and blow up about it. it was the only way you knew how, the only way you could be free.
so now here you were, sitting at your usual booth in your favorite bar—assuming it may no longer be yours after tonight—waiting for eren to arrive so you could talk. you assumed he could sense your seriousness and urgency when you texted him, but you figured so be it. one way or another, you’d do this.
he arrived like you expected. you refused to let him make you second guess yourself, so you kept your cool and acted as normal before you dropped the bomb on him. besides, the shot you took before he showed up was quite the help, plus the drink you swirled around in its glass now.
eren walked over to the bar to grab a drink before heading over to the booth, expecting you to stand up and greet him with a hug like always, but you remained in your seat, clutching your drink in your hands.
“hey, i got your text.” he said as he sat down across from you.
“i see that.” you reply. he noticed you were acting different, not like the y/n he knew. it was obvious you had something on your mind, and since he knew you so well, eren could sense you were going to spill your guts about something.
“what’s up? is something wrong?” eren asked. this was it.
“i just.” you pause. oh god, you were really doing this. “i just wanted to say that i’m done with whatever this is.”
he’s silent, he doesn’t know what to say. you feel like the words are all coming out like vomit. you almost wish you were spewing real vomit right now, but you weren’t quite drunk enough for that. you had to get through this hellish conversation first, at least.
“i’m done. i’m not going to make a fool out of myself anymore. i’m done trying. i’m giving up.” you say, tears threatening to stream down your face, but you fight them away. “i’m done exhausting myself of trying to be something i’ll never be because deep down i know i’ll never be yours.”
eren should’ve seen this coming. all those times you fell silent when he ranted to you about his love problems. you always wanted to scream in his face about how the one person in this world that actually wanted him was always right there, that it was you. even so, he could never give you what you wanted, and he felt like the worst person in the world because of it.
you wait for him to speak, but he doesn’t say anything. if this was going to be your final conversation, he might as well say something. “well, speak now or forever hold your peace because i’m clearly not holding mine.”
“i mean, it’s just not what i was expecting to hear.” eren finally spoke. “i’m just shocked.”
“trust me, i never expected to say it either, but if i’ve learned anything, it’s that i care too much.” you tearfully admit. “too much about you when i know where your heart belongs and it’s not with me.”
“i’m sorry, y/n. i never meant for things to get like this.” he said with sincerity, although you wondered if it was all a lie. “and you must know that there was never any hostile intentions behind any of my actions.”
“that’s funny. it always seemed like there was.” you looked down at your drink, quickly moving your gaze back to him as he spoke once more.
“no, you…” eren paused, trying to put the words together in the best way he could. even if he didn’t seem like it, he did care someway, somehow. “you’ve been there for me when i needed someone most and i’m really, really grateful for that, but i can’t give you what you want, and i’ve been unfair to you as a result. i’m sorry.”
huh. this really wasn’t what you were expecting. where’s the insults? where’s the twisting of your words? why is he actually being apologetic and taking accountability? you wanted to say this was crazy, but this is eren you’re talking about. you always knew he was too good. too good to ever be yours, even.
“you know, this is usually the part where you flip out and make it all my fault instead by calling me delusional and crazy.” you force a laugh. might as well laugh through the pain, right?
“i’m not gonna flip out.” eren said.
“why?” you question him.
“because i know i’ve done wrong by you.” he replied.
“well, that’s a shock.” you take a sip of your drink, tempted to chug it, but eren’s words shocked you into stopping the liquid from going past your lips.
“it shouldn’t have to be, y/n.” he frowned. “you deserve someone who won’t weigh you down. you deserve to move on, even if it’s not flattering for me.”
you set down your drink as you let out a sigh and briefly cover your face, rubbing your eyes before showing yourself once more. “i hate that you’re being so nice about this. i was expecting to yell at you or something.”
“do you want to?” eren asked you.
as much as past you would have loved to, you didn’t have the energy to be bitter anymore. “no… i’m okay. this is better.”
“you sure?”
“yeah, positive.” you say, followed by silence. there wasn’t much for you to say anymore, and you couldn’t beat on this dead horse any longer. it was time to finally say goodbye, no matter how much it pained you to do so. “um, i guess we should just end this here, huh?”
“yeah, guess so.” he looked away. this hurt eren too, but you both knew this was for the best. you’ll be thankful later down the road.
“would it be totally wrong to sneak in a taylor swift quote right now?” you ask, almost immediately regretting the question.
“no, go for it.”
“eh, maybe not. too corny.” you thought it would be best to keep those words to yourself. besides, it was too hard to pin it down to just one thing. he was worth a hundred songs, ones you may never listen to the same way, but that’s okay.
“she’s a wise, wise woman, you know.” eren said, a grin slowly creeping up on his face, despite the circumstances.
“yeah, she is.” you softly smile. at least you could end this on a little good note.
“goodbye, y/n. i wish you the best in everything.”
“goodbye, eren. i really hope you get her someday.”
and with that, you placed a twenty dollar bill on the table and left the bar, no longer claiming it as your favorite and leaving it to eren, along with your favorite place to sit. like with everything else in life, nothing lasts forever, nothing stays the same, and that’s okay. you knew that now.
it was such a strange feeling, having this weight lifted off your shoulders. you had been burdened with this boulder for so long you forgot what it felt like to be weightless. you were finally clean of eren yeager, light as a feather, but most importantly, happy, and freeing yourself of such delusions was the greatest gift you could ever receive.
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© plutoccult / 310802. please do not copy, repost, modify, or translate any of my content in or outside of tumblr. reblogs are appreciated <3
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horny-winchesters · 2 years
Text
What the Winchester Brothers are like in bed.
(A/N: this is just my opinion and evaluation of their character and sex scenes in the show. please let me know what you think!)
Warnings: SMUT (duh), bdsm, dom/sub, filth lol
Dean Winchester
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* MOST SUBBY SUBMISSIVE BRAT WHO EVER LIVED!!!
* He’s also a fan of just normal sex with no type of power play/equal power play. But still. Sub. Dean.
* Such a motherfucking tease it’s not even funny why the heck-
* Straight up gets a boner when you scold him for being so horny.
* Yeah literally so thirsty 25/8 it’s sad.
* You’ll be on ur computer and he’ll start whispering dirty things into your ear.
* He wants to be ruined by you, tied up, choked, spanked. Buuut he is a brat and a bit of a pillow prince. 👑
* You’re dominating him but HE IS IN CONTROL. Dean tells you what to do and he gets it. He’s only obedient if you are.
* “Choke me harder. Faster, bitch. Do I look like glass? Break me.”
* Honestly, being tied up and at your mercy is one of the sexiest things he could possibly think of.
* MARK THAT BITCH. There’s nothing more that would make Dean feel superior to everyone than having your love bites all over his body. Maybe just above his shirt collar so everyone can see. It tells them that he belongs to someone and he finds it super fucking sexy.
* Boasts about his sex life to literally everyone and their mother and honestly its creepy.
* Goes on about how he gets away with being bratty but then u double cross him by forcing him to wear a vibrator while on a case…shit.
* SEXY RULES ENTHUSIAST!!!!
* Give him a bunch of rules to obey in your daily life and if he breaks one, punish him.
* An massive fetish for boobs and god damn does he love a motorboat.
* I think he’d really enjoy you in high heels and looking like a badass.
* And it’s not just in the bedroom he loves your dominance, Dean soooooo has a thing for you bossing him around whilst on a case or literally anywhere.
* Honestly after sex, even though Dean is the one getting used lmao, he always cleans you up nice. He wouldn’t do it for just any girl though. So you’re definitely special.
* Dean is soooo misunderstood by a lot of girls. Yeah he’s in it for the good sex but really just wants someone to take care of him. To be in charge and to protect him for a change.
* In conclusion Dean Winchester horny baby.
Sam Winchester
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* Sam is mostly Vanilla, but if it had to be one, I’d say he’s more on the dominant side.
* He enjoys both slow, sweet sex and rough as fuck sex. Though he prefers rough. If you’re okay with it though.
* PASSIONATE AS HECK.
* He’ll choke you and pin you down, all because you asked. But Sam will be so careful with you, always asking if you’re alright.
* Very scared that he might hurt you while being dominant.
* This man likes to BITE. Yes, bite. So be prepared to have to cover up a looooot of hickeys.
* He uses his mouth. Both ways. He’ll not only go down on you like a good boy but he’ll also whisper the dirtiest things in your ear when he’s really in the mood.
* “Fuck, just like that, baby. I want my cock inside you right now. You would want that, huh?”
* Super romantic type so he’d set up candles and flower petals and all of that cheesy stuff to please you and make the experience as pleasant as possible, especially if it’s your first time.
* Sam likes to edge you for hours; your pleasure is his pleasure and edging is just amazing and your moans would be music to his ears, and enough to make him come untouched.
* He wants to make you feel so safe and loved during sex, so he loves the fact that he’s so tall and muscular so it’s almost like he’s protecting you.
* Definitely prefers missionary/being on top of you but wouldn’t object to other positions you wanted to try.
* Will let you dominate him because he thinks it’s cute. How you’re this tiny girl in comparison to him and you telling him what to do just makes him fall in love with you even more.
* If you try and come onto him during a case though, he’ll make sure to tell you off. Angry sex is the result.
* Overall Sam is the cutest bean but also the roughest man ever. He’s just so passionate and loving I need a Sam in my life.
(A/N: Thank you all for reading 🥹 this was my first post so I hope you like it 😊)
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neteyamslovrr · 1 year
Note
Hiii, I'm mad late to this, don't hate me. 🤣
I'd love to request angst #10 “i trusted you.” with Ao'nung.
HOW STUPID
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another drabble woo!! i am working thru these my god. kinda struggling coz my new meds are kicking my ass LMAO but here is an angsty ao'nung drabble for the man, the myth the legend sia!!!!
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Your gut told you no when you started to think of Ao’nung differently. But your heart cried out for him. His cocky smirks and boisterous laughs. For some reason captured your heart, mind, and soul.
But it was when he changed, when he started to be nicer around you. Sharing small moments together as you walked down the dimly lit shore, hands intertwined as he caressed your thumb.
Your brothers warned you of him and his cruel nature, but you took a chance. Like an idiot you took a chance.
Ao’nung had a spot where his friends would hang out as the dark of the eclipse took over the sky. A bonfire lit in the middle of their circle, flickering orange light dimming on their faces.
You wanted to go to talk to him, ask if he wanted to go for a late night swim. Now you wished that you just stayed home and didn’t bother asking for his company.
A large barrier of mangroves and bushes hid the entrance of the secret spot. Your hand held onto the large greenery about to push it out of the way before your entire body froze.
“so Ao’nung is it true that your courting that forest girl, Y/N?” The tone was snarky, a heated question leading to a decimation of trust.
Your blood ran cold as you heard your name roll of a tongue in such a cold way. Hand letting go of the greenery as your body stiffened. Oh how you wish you left, so you could live in an ignorant bliss.
“The forest freak? Why would I court her, she is nothing to this clan, nothing to me.” Ao’nung scoffed at his friend’s question, as if it was completely ridiculous to ever consider being his mate. What was the purpose of his actions? Why did he spend so much time to change just to act as if you were nothing to him.
Your body was now hot. Furious and devasted at what you had just heard. Heart falling out of your chest as it left an empty cavity of hurt within you. How could he do this to you. You trusted him.
Tears welled up in your eyes, streaming down your cheeks. There was no use holding them back as you sobbed down the shore. Your entire body ached, betrayal raking through your bones. You couldn’t go back to your marui like this.
So you sat, you sat on the wet sand, knees curled up to your chest as you stared into the dark sea. Had he thought nothing of your heart? Nothing of your feelings.
Time passed as you sat in your despair, the dim light of the approaching night transitioning to the darkness, only the bioluminescence of the sky and your body lighting up the world around you.
The padding of feet against the sand woke you out of you dissociation. Turning towards the sound it was the last person you wanted to see. Ao’nung. How could you face him, you couldn’t let him lie his way into your heart any longer.
He spotted you curled into yourself on the beach, concern growing his chest. But the closer he got the more he felt that something was incredibly wrong, so incredibly wrong.
“Flower…why are you out here so late? It is dark. Let me walk you home.” His hand laid on your shoulder anxiously.
Your muscles tensed under his touch, shaking his hand off your body as your eyes bored into his soul. Revealing your sadness to him. “What has happened?”
“You.” Ao’nung only furrowed his brows, confused at your answer. “You happened.”
“I don’t understand what you’re talking about.”
“Why would I court her, she is nothing to this clan, nothing to me.” Your voice cracked as you said it, tears returning as the sting of his words resonated within you.
His face dropped. He had been caught, he was riddled with guilt, mouth growing dry as he tried to form words. “No- Baby I didn’t mean that.”
“Do you know how much I have risked letting myself love you? I trusted you with my heart, my body, my soul. I trusted you to not hurt me. How stupid was I for letting myself do that?” You sobbed between your words, an accusing finger pointed right at his chest.
“You’re not stupid.” You scoffed, a heartless laugh escaping your chest.
“No tell me how stupid I am for loving you. How stupid I am for thinking you would want to be with a forest freak like me. I should’ve listened to my brothers, you are not worthy of the love I have given you.” His face was permanently stuck in a frown, shaking his head as he tried to think of something to say.
“I am sorry flower I didn’t mean it. You know I didn’t.” He grabbed onto your small hand in his, his fin like arms contrasting to your skinnier ones. Another reason he would never love you.
“Stop lying to yourself. You know you did.” And with that you shook his weak grip off you. Striding towards your family marui as his touch still lingered on your palms and his words lingered on your heart. It was childish to ever think he would not taint your heart.  
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thankyou sm for reading!!
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fumifooms · 4 months
Note
I think you made me start shipping Marchil
Your posts got me thinking about their dynamic then I wrote a fic that was supposed to be platonic but midway through I realized it could actually be interpreted as romantic too and now I'm just sad about how little time they'll have together
First of all, you have a lovely icon, second, I’m so honored… I finally read Not a bad way to go and it was soo so good like. My god!!! Pre-canon is underused and you did so many interesting things with it.
It sounded like a cruel joke, that the one who needed her concern the most was also the one least interested in it.
^^^ go read it go read it
Chilchuck was drunk enough that he needed to hold onto the walls not to fall, but apparently still sober enough to remember emotional vulnerability was his worst enemy, as he made sure to avert her eyes and said: “Namari made me come talk to you ” to make it clear he wasn't being nice voluntarily.
Yeah.
“Of course I'm scared of dying.” He scoffed. Did she really think so little of him? “But if I could choose, I would want to die doing something I love, like drinking. Or maybe fucking,”
Maybe you wish you didn’t know but my new favorite HC because of this is that Chil dies yes prematurely not of liver failure though but during coitus. Especially if marchil, the thought of him busting a nut and his heart giving out makes me laugh so hard. My god. Lmao. Oh god. Lmfao. Worst day of her life
Marcille knew Chilchuck wasn't a kid, but she often struggled to take him seriously as an adult because he was just so adorable and small. In this moment, however, she saw them exactly for what they were, even if it was just a glimpse. A sheltered, naive little girl trying to tell a tired, much more experienced man how to live the rest of his life.
Standing ovation
She tried to find an explanation to give him, but she couldn't even find one for herself. Why would she miss him? He was just Chilchuck, her coworker, Chilchuck who was cold, aloof, sometimes crass, evasive, and even outright mean. He who was level headed, reliable, trustworthy, perceptive and clever. He who had the least time left, even in a best case scenario. “I guess that despite your best efforts, there's still a lot to like about you.”
This fic goes so hard, standing ovation pt 2
“I just think it's better if we don't get too close. Don't you agree?” “I… maybe” she said, uncertain as he didn't know how to feel about that. Caring about people would only hurt her in the wrong run, she knew that, but unfortunately she couldn't help it.
I looove how they can be read to be similar on this aspect. My hand clenching around my phone as I rear up to rant about Marcille and the way she does keep people at an arm’s length subconsciously again my god my goood. Obsessed with this obsessed with this, underused for marchil. Terrified of loss through death vs rejection duo I love youuu
Brilliant ending I’m in shambles. I’m not gonna spoil it
You get marchil so much you truly do. The way they mesh, the way their views on mortality clash and both soothe & bruise… He doesn’t have much time left even in best case scenario (which Mr I won’t eat well I’ll drink and smoke a lot I’ll stress all day every day is determined to not make happen) which makes it all the more meaningful for Marcille’s arc when she learns from him to finally enjoy the present moments… It’ll only be a fraction of her life, but to him he’s giving her the rest of his life. What are some decades of love worth? Worth it, surely, if nothing else
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