#little bastards 😤😤

[cinnamonest]

ohman ohman- listen-

I've been reading the kazu/scara/albedo/xiao posts (modern au or not) and it just got me thinking about how much stronger men are compared to women-

It's totally accurate how they end up dominating reader with their strength. Like I'm not weak at all irl, but god help if I can ever beat the skinniest dude in an arm wrestling match and these shorter and slim boys got me feeling all type of ways. Like OKAY, maybe darling still has a decent fighting chance with them vs with boys like childe etc but the formers' arms, hands, legs, fingers are still bigger and longer than yours dhdjsksj. For the incel ones (because they don't have that supernatural strength and all as in the canon AU) it might just be one of the few things that boosts their ego, lol!

So real omg I remember there was a point in time where like, I thought that guys were only stronger because they were bigger/worked out more and that if a guy and a girl were the same size and worked out the same then they'd be equally strong, and that scrawny guys were weak… as you can imagine I got humbled so fast lmao

(also thank you anon after the e-girl post I’ve been eager to make a post with all the modern AU boys :3)

-

Deeply in love with the thought of both parties having the gradual realization of just how drastic the male-female gap in strength is — a devastating slap in the face from reality for darling, and a euphoric power trip for him.

Especially with the modern AU for those boys, like… sure, you both know deep down that guys are naturally somewhat stronger, but neither of you realized just how much.

Society’s tendency to shy away from acknowledging the topic has perhaps left darling a bit naive…. dangerously so. Like, playing-with-fire levels of naive, cocky and bratty towards boys like them even after they’ve kidnapped you, thinking that well, they’re short, lean boys, so surely they can’t hurt you, and if they try you can just fight him off, right? It’s not like he’s a broad bulky guy, whom you’d actually have reason to fear…

You may get the chance to notice it more subtly at first — you watch as he picks up something rather heavy around the apartment and think to yourself how odd it is that there’s no strain on his expression, no grunting as one would do when performing physically strenuous tasks, in fact he picks it up and carries it over with a perfectly neutral expression, like it’s not even difficult… maybe it's just not as heavy as you thought…?

But it quickly proves to be what you fear — the reality is you have severely underestimated this aspect of sex difference.

Xiao actually has the most wholesome, tolerable version of this. He has a tendency for not verbalizing his thoughts, he just sort of… does things. One of the more common manifestations of this is that he just. Picks you up.

You’ve been sitting over there doing your own thing for a while like you requested, but now he’s lonely and sad and he wants you over there with him so he just walks over, locks his arms around you and suddenly your feet are off the ground.

He just sorta disrupts you from whatever you're doing and carries you like you're a limp sack of flour on a regular basis, setting (or throwing) you down wherever he wants you to be instead. It's easier than asking you to move. It doesn't even really occur to him that this surpasses your assumption of his strength capacity until you mention it… and at first he thinks nothing of it, but gradually, hearing you grunt in surprise each time you're hoisted upward and the way your feet kick outward actually starts to feel quite nice. A little ego boost, even if he's quieter about it than the others. He didn't realize he was so strong compared to you.

And then you start coming to him to get him to open jars and pick up things you can't, and while he does it all with the same fairly melancholy demeanor as always, internally it actually makes him very happy and prideful each time, makes him feel needed and important and all. He focuses less on the aspect of your weakness and using it against you (unless he’s mad), and more focuses on being strong and hoping that you like it, carefully coordinating efforts to show off in ways that he thinks are subtle enough to seem unintentional (spoiler: they’re not). Unfortunately, mixing protein powder into energy drinks does significantly impact their taste, but he views it as worth it. In the fantasies that play out in his head, maybe one day you’ll even outright tell him he’s sooooo strong in that cute voice like the girls in visual novels do.

Thankfully he's not too outwardly obnoxious about it, and he doesn't degrade you for it (again, except maybe a bit passive-aggressively, but only if you're being mean and hurt his secretly very sensitive feelings first, OR unintentionally due to his dense nature and consequent tendencies to make very blunt statements without thinking them through). He may or may not be deliberately tightening the jars each time he closes them to ensure you need him for it next time, though.

Scara is the inverse because he doesn't really see or emphasize it as himself being strong, more like you being weak.

But no, maybe he's wrong. At least in that case, he has his whole body weight to rely on keeping you down, so that's probably why it felt so easy…? Until then you're being whiny and bratty and he pins you to the wall instead, wondering why you're acting so upset yet not actually fighting him for real… then he realizes you are actually trying. You’re not just half-heartedly tugging in a whiny way, you’re like, actually trying to pull yourself out of his grasp, and giving it your all.

He's also caught off guard by it, early on. Here he had all these backup plans to subdue you if you managed to writhe your way out of his grasp or fight him off, but then in your initial struggle, he quickly realizes how incredibly easy it is to keep you pinned down, and no such plans are necessary.

…And that’s the best you can manage? Seriously? That’s how much weaker you are? It's almost astounding. The shock quickly transitions to pure amusement and satisfaction, and once this difference is discovered, he's going to use it to make your life hell.

He loves the newfound discovery, and actively exercises it at every opportunity. It scratches the itch of those sadistic impulses just perfectly and soothes any bruises to his ego, especially with how apparent it is that it upsets you, how you struggle harder and harder and your eyes prick with humiliated tears and you groan in frustration. So he just ensures he utilizes his superior strength constantly, always holding you down or grabbing you by the arm and keeping you in place, always holding you into uncomfortable positions in bed, and the more you struggle to no avail, the more he seems to enjoy it.

It's actually kind of hilarious too, how you can just be running your mouth and snarling at him one second and pleading and teary-eyed the next, forcibly bent over and held down with your face smushed against the countertop, begging to be let back up, trying with all your might to push your palms onto the surface and push yourself back up to no avail. Him mocking you the entire time doesn't exactly help you keep the tears in, either, but when you start crying it just makes things worse, since that's just used against you to tell you how emotional you are. Emotional and dumb and weak, girls are really such a handful to deal with, sigh…

You can tell how much he enjoys constantly reinforcing your awareness, reminding you of the difference, and it infuriates you — and the more it infuriates you, the funnier and more satisfying it is for him, and the more he does it, and the miserable cycle continues. The only way you were able to actually get some leverage was by insinuating that he only enjoys it because he needs the ego boost as psychological compensation for being so small for a guy… and while you know you're right, the resulting soreness was ultimately not worth the momentary satisfaction of saying so.

Albedo is the most obnoxious about it because one, he's the most acutely aware of it from the start and will make sure you are as well, and two, he finds the whole thing amusing. The man is whipping out the studies and Science™ to explain exactly why he has nothing to fear from you and why you'll never be able to overpower him. Blah blah skeletal muscles this, sexual dimorphism that, fiber size anaerobic muscular metabolic capacity something something… it's too confusing for you to understand, the only thing you know is how infuriating the smugness is.

It's cute to him that you initially have no concept of your inferiority. You still try and fight him and push him and take things from him, only to end up pinned down or hoisted up. Like a… dumb little animal of some kind, that walks right into an obvious trap or attacks its own reflection, is how he sees you. He has no issue telling you this either, he likes seeing how furious it makes you, knowing you can't do anything about it.

He's the worst about constantly applying this as much as he can specifically in bed, too. Keeping your hands pinned above your head, making a point to inform you that restraints aren't really necessary due to your physical inferiority. Telling you with that infuriating dry tone that if you hate it so much, surely you can summon the strength to break free… saying that always ensures you put on a funny little display of struggling.

He’s selective, though, about how he torments you, so the severity of how unbearable he makes the matter depends on how you react to it. His form of sadism is a quiet one, but still quite obvious with how he picks at your weaknesses — so if it’s something that doesn’t bother you that much, he’ll go for something else, but the more it upsets you to be reminded of how much stronger he is and why, the more outright insufferable he’ll be, ensuring you’re constantly reminded that it’s only natural — a smug gesture of faux comfort, disguised as reassurance of normality, but deep down you know it’s really intended to rub salt into the wound by reminding you that it’s essentially immutable, making you feel powerless. He’s a little bastard like that.

Although out of the four, it's by far the most amusing (or vaguely terrifying, for you) with Kazuha.

It's all so… subtle. He’s so sweet, so gentle in his voice and demeanor and mannerisms, and then you find yourself bristling as you watch him snap something in half, lift something, bend something, whatever, that you definitely would not have thought he should be able to. Something that makes you do a double take and sit there slack-jawed and wide-eyed while he continues to go about whatever he’s doing, talking about this or that in that soft voice.

And then when you watch movies laying in bed and try to wiggle away from his hold, the way you feel it tighten so hard you fear your ribs will snap, and he wraps his fingers around your wrist so hard your hand goes numb, you realize it’s not taking any effort on his end at all, he's doing it practically half-asleep.

Even though those incidents make you uneasy, he’s just so gentle-natured that it’s easy to forget and end up acting out at him yet again, getting mad and being a brat, you even go so far as to try and hit him — but he catches you by the wrist, holding your arm firmly in place.

Very firmly. So much so that, when you reflexively jerk backwards, you would have thought you were pulling against an iron chain. He doesn't budge. It makes your heart skip a beat, especially when you see the slight twitch to his smile.

And then you see his eyes widen just a bit. Perhaps surprised at how light your pulling feels, how little strain it causes him.

He never really addresses it out loud, but you can tell that he's increasingly aware from that point forward of just how big the strength gap between you is.

It's actually a bit insulting once you start noticing the shifts and changes — he doesn't tie you to the bed anymore when you sleep. Why would he? It'll be so easy to just pull you back down when he feels you move. You can easily tell that he's noticeably more at ease, he goes from having just the slightest detectable panic when you start to defy him or struggle to being completely unbothered, now that he's realized your defiance holds no weight. He starts a habit of giving you a little warning squeeze if you're making him too upset and being very very bad, just a light little tightening of the grip on your wrist or waist as if to remind you that you both know how much stronger he is than you, that your being very unwise to upset him… and you always notice how his smile grows when it shuts you up instantly.

It's honestly almost more infuriating that he does it all so quietly — you almost wish he would acknowledge it, but instead you get this quiet, unspoken realization and mutual understanding, a ‘you know he knows you know’ sort of situation, and with that mutual understanding comes your gradually increasing lack of defiance, a slow despairing acceptance… and you can tell it makes him very, very happy.

[padawansuggest]

Helix: *goes to help pull a halfway melted part of Cody’s blacks up so he could cut it off, and get smacked on the hand for it* hmmm…

Cody: *did not mean to do that just got startled while he was trying to do the same thing to his left ankle, isn’t actually hurt just annoyed because melted blacks apparently stick to your body hair* …!!!

Helix: You know. I once had a dream where you drank so much coffee your body started to shut down.

Cody: …???

Helix: Yeah. I guess it starts with paranoia, huh?

Cody: -_- I think it has more to do with the shinies that tried to wax me with my own melted blacks.

Helix: Keep telling yourself that.

[mblue-art]

Which skeleton walks into the room to catch you replying to anon in "uwu" talk? How do you think they'd react?

UH 🧍‍♂️

[akkivee]

like that was so unnecessary lmao

[sunofmoon]

.

[sohereisthisasshole]

.

[crusty-chronicles]

HxH Men Throwing Down with their S/O's Plushies

Synopsis: How hxh men react to your plushie collection, and if they'd fight them when you're not there.

An: I'm tired of all the fine men being ignored in the HxH fandom. Here's a Valentine's Day special of some of my favorites who are always overlooked for the most white bread, cardboard personality, toxic men.*cough cough* adult trio* cough cough*

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Leorio 🩺

100% fights your plushies

Without a doubt he throws down with them when you're not there. Even when you're in the room he's throwing hands.

And it is personal 😤

You've caught him on several occasions saying- "Think you can sleep next to my girl/man and get away with it?!? You homewrecker!!!!”

It's honestly really funny to see him put one of your giant bears in a headlock.

But you have to stop him before he tears it because those things are expensive goddamit.

“Leave him alone. I've had him for about ten years and I doubt you could find me another one. So drop him,” you lecture.

And he begrudgingly drops your big teddy bear. But not before complaining that you love it more than him.

All pouty and upset until you kiss his cheek and reassure him.

“Babe, they're not alive. You have absolutely no competition for my heart.”

He knows that, but they're everywhere. Watching him with their beady little eyes from their place on your bed.

Which reminds me-

He piledrives your little plushies when you're not in the room.

If he had it his way, they'd all be locked away somewhere.

But because he loves you with his whole heart, he moves them away from your side of the bed to his.

What? Those little bastards thought they'd get to sleep next to you when he's home? Not a chance!

He hates them for the attention you give them, but he also contributes to your collection.

Whenever he's got funds to spare, he'll bring you home a new addition.

With the condition that you give him twice as many cuddles ☝️

---------------

Ging 🎣

He's a little less aggressive than Leorio, but he still fights your plushies.

And he fights with the intent to win.

Which more often than not leads them to getting ruined.

Tackles the absolute hell out of your big plushies. Then he'll jab it's stomach a few times.

“Getting a little too comfortable on my side, Jeremiah?”

If they're on the bed, they're on the floor when you get back.

Doesn't really do it for jealousy, but because he thinks your reaction is funny.

He'll throw one of the smaller ones off and you let out the most offended gasp.

“You stop that right now! You're gonna get him dirty! And I can't put him in the washer!”

He comes up with excuses too, just to see how much you'll let him get away with.

“That one was looking at me funny.” “You've got a place on your bed for each and every one of those little shittlings, but absolutely no room for me. It's not fair.” “I didn't get you that one, so it's under the bed where it belongs.”

The answer: you let him get away with a lot. You secretly think it's cute, but it's annoying how filthy he gets them.

He also steals them from time to time.

Totally not because he likes having something of you when he's away. What? You're crazy 🙄🙄🙄

He'll complain, but he'll always get you replacements for the ones he damages. He'll even get you the jumbo versions of the little ones.

Just because he loves you, despite his lackluster way of showing it.

-------------------------

Morel 🚬

He's pretty respectful about it

Does not fight them.

But, every man has his weakness.

So there are times when he'll pick one of the smaller ones up and inspect it. Right before he squeezes it completely in his hand.

Why does he do it? Just because.

They're like little stress balls

And it's during one of these moments of weakness that you catch him.

“You're choking out my poor frog! Let him go before his eye pops out!”

And he laughs. He thinks it's sweet how much you love these things.

Even if you've got them on shelves and they stare into his soul at night.

He makes it a habit not to smoke or use his ability in front of them.

They hold too much sentimental value to you. And the last thing he wants is for you to get upset.

But the squishing? It doesn't stop.

It's like they're begging to be smooshed.

And you never fail to get after him every time.

“Quit abusing my babies!” You scold before taking back your stuffed rabbit.

He lets you have another bed to put all your plushies on.

He's a big man 😤😤😤 He can't afford space to share with them. He also likes to sleep next to his partner undisturbed, thank you 😤.

Also contributes to your collection.

And we're not talking every once and a while.

He's got that hunter money, so if you see something you want, it's yours

------------------------

Knov 👔

Arguably the most mature of the bunch

Your precious little babies are safe from him

It doesn't even cross his mind to fight them

That being said, your plushies aren't allowed on the bed at all ☹️

“I refuse to have my sleeping space occupied by that thing.” He said, gesturing to a very well loved seal plush. One of its eyes missing.

“What’s wrong with Samuel?”

“Look at it. The poor thing's traumatized. And you're gonna end up choking on its stuffing.”

They aren't even allowed in the bedroom on shelves.

However☝️, he does end up doing something special for you because of how much you adore your plushies.

He lets you dedicate one entire room to your collection. Buy a little bed for you to put them on. Even gets special shelves installed for you.

That's their room and theirs alone.

Also encourages you to get more now that you have ample space for them.

Every trip/mission he leaves for, he always makes sure to bring you something back.

Whether it be one of the huge bears or a little keychain plush, he gets it for you.

Definitely not a man afraid to spend on his S/O and their interest.

He also doesn't bat an eye at the attention you give them.

They mean a lot to you, but so does he judging by the way you're always ready to compromise

That and the way you cuddle closer to him at night and say-

“You're a whole lot better than even my softest of plushies.”

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Knuckle 🐕

On a bad day, it's on sight.

Always the bigger ones too

“What're you looking at?” And then he'll wrestle whatever poor plush caught his eye first.

But he feels incredibly bad about it afterwards

Picking up your little dinosaur nugget plush with tears in his eyes.

“I'm so sorry. You're mother's/father's gonna kill me for this.”

Even goes as far as to stitch up any little holes if he damaged them.

What can I say? He's a total softie

Like many of the men on here, he does contribute to your collection.

But you also inadvertently make him start his own 💀

You'll buy one for yourself and because it needs a friend, you buy another.

Only to gift it to him because ‘They’re dating like us.’ 🥺

That's how it starts.

You start buying plushies in pairs.

One for you and one for him.

It never fails to make Knuckle cry.

“Babe really? You didn't have to.”

And he's cradling the little dog plush you got him with such care. Like it's the most delicate thing in the world.

He, of course, makes sure to get another set to pay you back.

Plushies in the bed?

100%

No complaints here.

Even memorizes the names of all of them.

----------------------

Kurapika ⛓️

He simply does not have the energy to fight your plushies

He comes home tired and drained, understandably. And the first thing he does is collapse on the bed, right on top of them.

Doesn't think twice about it. In fact, he likes the extra cushion they provide.

And you don't mind all that much either. Kurapika does a lot. He's been through a lot.

If he wants to rest right on top of your plushies, he's more than welcome.

However, when he's not completely exhausted, he's mean to them ☹️

He'll push off the ones on his side of the bed to make space for himself. And he will not pick them up

Or he'll hide the one you usually snuggle with at night so he can cuddle you himself.

He just wants your warmth after a long day. Is that so much to ask for?

“Kurapika, have you seen my octopus plush anywhere?”

And he'll look away guiltily before mumbling a ‘No. Can't say that I have.’

But he always puts it back when he knows he'll be gone for a while.

He knows it brings you comfort, and who is he to take that away from you.

He does get pouty when you give them extra attention.

“I've been gone for a month and you're too busy cleaning that thing to greet me.” He complains.

Only for you to get up and wrap your arms around him. Giving his cheek a smooch before saying-

“You know you're precious to me. But I wouldn't be so busy cleaning my baby if you'd stop leaving him on the floor.”

He makes it up to you everytime by getting you another one.

He always makes sure to pick you something up when he comes back from searching for his clan's eyes.

A little thank you for always waiting for him and giving endless patience.

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Kite 🪁

Another man whom your plushies are safe from

He's supportive of your collection, but all he asks is that they don't take up the entire bed.

If they do, he's a little mean about it and organizes them all on your side.

That's about as far as he goes with messing with them.

He definitely builds you shelves to keep them in

Again, the less of them in the bed, the more space you two have.

He thinks it's cute how much you care about them, and likes to indulge you by asking how you got them.

He listens to each and every story you have and why each plush is special to you.

Safe to say, this man does not get jealous

A piece of fluff with stuffing is the last thing he's worried about

That being said, he contributes less frequently to your collection than the other men on this list

He limits them to special occasions like your birthday or an anniversary.

Why?

He wants to make sure each one is attached to a special moment so you hold them just as dear as your other ones.

An import memory that you're able to hold onto

He's also careful around your plushies.

He doesn't wanna get them dirty or accidentally tear them because of how much they mean to you.

----------------------

Wing 👓

This man right here is a 10/10

The absolute sweetest man

The thought doesn't even cross his mind to throw down with your plushies

In fact, he prides himself on taking care of them while you're out

Dusting them off, reorganizing them, stitching up any little holes he sees

Also someone who goes out of his way to memorize all their names.

Knows each one by heart because he always listens intently when you talk about them

Your big dinosaur?

That's Chungus.

The little raccoon?

Sylvester.

You want the plushies in bed?

Of course! Each one has their own special place. And he makes sure there's enough space for the both of you.

If he's got money to spare, he's definitely gonna get you something.

You don't even have to ask, he's already bringing you home a little duck plush that Zushi thought you'd like. What can he say? The kid adores you

This man doesn't get jealous whatsoever

In fact, you're the one who ends up getting pouty because he's taking fantastic care of your plushies.

“Honey, I want cuddles.” You whine.

And he's cleaning off one of your bears with a damp rag.

“In a minute, dearest. You got him dirty last night.”

But as soon as he's done, you've got his full attention

He just knows how much you love those things and wants you to be able to cherish them for as long as possible.

-----------------

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY 💕💕💕💕

[fictionismyreality3]

How Price Flirts

Warnings: romance and everything that comes with it

Notes: I am a pure and holy person (I would wear his bucket hat while we fu-)

the cheekiness of this man is only rivalled by god 😤

he will tease you and he WON’T stop until your a blushing mess

little quips about how you’re wearing your hair differently, how your uniform looks, what you’re reading on your breaks

once he’s okay with the fact that he likes you, he doesn’t give a fuck about anything but making you his

if your younger than him, expect comments about your age

“Come ‘ere, little one.” “I’m literally an adult, John.” “You’re still little to me, sweetheart.”

he won’t admit it, but he has a massive age gap kink 🤤 and it WILL influence how he interacts with you

in his eyes, you’re the most precious thing ever

every little thing you do is just so cute and he would gladly show tell you

if you make a mistake during training, he’ll be on your ass for the rest of the day

not in an annoying way tho, he’ll just endlessly joke about how “you seem distracted, luv’”

if you’re shorter than him he’s gonna use you as an arm rest 🤭

he WILL come to stand beside you only to rest his arm on top of your head and WILL keep a totally straight face the whole time, not missing a beat if he’s talking

but he’s not just a cheeky bastard

he’s insanely protective 😭 like to the point where it’s probably unhealthy

when you and the team go out, he’s always either within 10 feet of you, or sitting with the squad and glaring at anyone who comes near you

the man will use all 6’ feet of himself to stand between you and anyone who he thinks doesn’t deserve to look at you have good intentions

he’s big and he knows it

if you’re sitting across from him and he catches your gaze straying he will spread his legs to make you stare at his cock slip up

once he’s attached to you he’s not letting go easily

when you’re around other people who aren’t in the 141, he’ll take off his bucket hat and put on you 🥺 and won’t let you take it off

you wouldn’t realize but everyone else with half a brain knows it’s his subtle way of marking his territory

[sunnebeam]

"this is our territory."

A 'PERKS OF BEING A HOUSEHUSBAND' DRABBLE.

pairing: min yoongi x reader

plot: the (mis)adventures of retired gangster min yoongi as he leaves behind the life of the mafia and navigates the way of the househusband.

warnings: the way of the househusband au, marriage au, crack, domesticity, there's only one (1) bastard that can defeat yoongi 😟

masterlist + disclaimers.

note: the fact that my top 2 fics on this blog w the most notes/engagements are both yoongi fics,,,, the power he holds!! 😤 as always, hope yous enjoy this cute drabble and let me know ur thoughts!

You love the weekends.

No work. No stress. No bosses nagging at you to work overtime. No files waiting for you to sort through.

Just you, your poodle, and your husband.

There's absolutely nothing that can ruin your weekend. Nothing except—

"YOU BASTARD!"

You jolt upright from your bed, eyes wide in alarm when you hear your husband's normally calm voice shouting profanities from the other room. Luckily, Holly remains deep in slumber on Yoongi's side of the bed even as you're scrambling to the kitchen.

You almost trip on your own two feet when you see Yoongi on the kitchen floor – shirtless, sweaty, and looking absolutely defeated.

"Yoonie?! What happened?"

He's wearing a pained expression.

"I didn't see him coming."

"Who?!"

"I'm sorry, darling," he says, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I let him get away."

What? Is there a burglar in the apartment?!

"Yoonie, what are you—"

"He's in the living room."

With anxious heartbeats, you and Yoongi head to the living room area. Fortunately, your apartment is tiny enough that every room is next to each other so it only takes a couple of steps for you to near the entryway to the living room. Craning your head, you take a peak to find...

"There he is."

...a cockroach.

Wait—

A cockroach?

You scream, clutching your husband as you hide behind him.

"There are roaches in this building?!" you screech, disgusted when you remember how the landlord conveniently left this little detail when you both first moved in.

"Stay behind me, darling," your husband orders and you look down to see him holding a pest repellent spray in his hand. "I'll handle this."

Your knees quiver when he takes slow steps toward the roach.

"You bastard," he continues, "you think you can just come breaking and entering?"

He's a few steps away.

"This is our territory," he growls as he positions the repellent and his finger hovers over the nozzle. "Die, you bastard!"

He sprays.

Nothing comes out.

"Shit," Yoongi mumbles. "I'm out of ammo."

And then the unthinkable happens.

"Yoonie, it's fucking flying!"

The cockroach flies. Higher. And higher. Then it descends.

"No," you whisper, horrified. "Please, no."

It lands on Yoongi's bare chest.

"Darling," your husband calls out to you, his body frozen but his voice shaky. "I need you to kill it. Even if you get me, too."

"No, no, no. This can't be happening."

You're hysterical.

"You can do it, darling," he assures you, his head jerking to gesture to a spare newspaper laying on the floor. "I know you can."

"But—"

"We have to protect our turf! Do it!"

A tear falls down your cheek. Without any other choice, you take a deep breath before getting the newspaper and folding it in a fan-like pattern.

Once it's all folded, you straighten up. You look your husband in the eye, and all you see is love, pride, and acceptance.

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

And with the newspaper in your hand, you scream, swinging your arm back and running towards your husband, before you whip the newspaper forward and slam it on his skin.

You miss.

"I'm sorry, Yoonie," you mumble, head down as you eye the reddening mark on his forehead where you accidentally hit him.

The cockroach is long gone now, having flown out the opened window when you tragically missed it and ended up hitting your husband instead.

"Don't worry about it," he tells you, chuckling.

Yoongi shakes his head at you, endeared. He reaches out a hand and caresses your cheek lovingly.

"You did well, darling."

COPYRIGHT 2023. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

[lalicaaaaa]

Little Miss Verstappen pt 3

In Which Max Verstappen's bastard little sister is a natural-born golf prodigy A bit sad, so fair warning face claim is random Pinterest girls part 1 part 2

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aeristrashcan

I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you

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ynstandsforlove

@ aeristrashcan we kinda ate this up, one wedding one promise 😍 we made it bestie

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aeristrashcan : period wife 😍 we totally did eat this up ⤷ ynstandsforlove : I'm going to lose my wife soon NOO @ hollandsfield you better look after her 😤 ⤷hollandsfield : I promise Mom 🙄 gillssea : There might be 2 weddings if you don't stop being so cute 😍 ⤷ ynstandsforlove : let my foot heal first so I don't have an ugly wedding foot 😩 user75 : I don't even know why he would still be with a dropout this comment has been blocked by ynstandsforlove

CAMERA ROLL

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aeristrashcan

been those bitches since first grade 😍 😩

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Authors Note Below

CAN MY GIRL Y/N GET A BREAK?????? poor girl got dropped by a sponsor AND burned her foot bad 😭 but I wonder what that meaning was abt tho...lets see IN PART 4 YOU THOUGHT

[theemporium]

hii!! saw u asking for requests and i haven’t been able to get this idea out of my head! poly!marauders with a s/o that’s like really good looking so wherever they go people look at her and they get all pouty and whiny until barty, evan and reg all come up to her and kiss her cheek and are like “we still on for tonight?” AND THE MARAUDERS AFE LIKE ???? WYM🤨🤨😤😤 and she’s like “oh! we’re having a sleepover!” and they’re like, “well now we’re joining” but she says no so they sneak into the slytherin dorms to see her and the skittles smoking weed and just laying around and they basically just hang out with them even though they’re jealous 😭🤭🤣

thank you for requesting!🖤

.

It was comically ironic how bad your boys were at sharing. 

Not with each other, of course. They had no problem sharing with each other, whether it meant alternating whose bed you slept in or who chose the date night for the week. Funnily enough, the topic of sharing and the odd nature of your relationship was never something the boys ever struggled with. In a sense, their friendship was only brought close together through it all. 

But sharing you with others? That was a whole different story. 

Despite as much as it displeased them, you were a social butterfly. You liked to reach out and make friends. The house or class status never mattered to you—people were people and that’s how you treated them. 

It didn’t help that your smile was warm and comforting, or the fact that the majority of the school student body had heart eyes for you. It was never an issue before because the boys knew you were theirs, they knew they snatched you when nobody else could. 

That security in the relationship quickly spiralled out of control with your growing, buddying friendship with the Slytherin boys. 

It started off as sitting next to Barty during one of your classes. A harmless seating plan that sat you next to the boy who seemed a bit grouchy—no pun intended towards his name. A friendship blossomed, which extended towards the small group Barty kept close to him and before you knew it, you found yourself having a little membership too. 

The boys weren’t amused. Not at all. You had dealt with their fits of jealousy here and there, but this was beyond that—this reached levels of pettiness you had never witnessed before. 

“This is ridiculous,” you stated, biting back your giggles as you watched your three boys shuffle into the room without a bother in the world. 

“I can’t imagine what you’d call ridiculous,” Sirius dismissed as he settled on the bed behind you, leaning over the edge to press a kiss to the top of your head. “We just wanted to hang out with our girl.” 

You leaned your head back, shooting the boy a look. “I told you I was having a sleepover tonight.”

“You didn’t tell us who,” Sirius countered. 

“Does it matter?” you asked. 

“I believe my brother is jealous,” Regulus commented, sitting across from you with a joint between his fingers that had been passed around the group before the boys arrived. 

“You are jealous?” you asked, your eyes filtering over each of the boys. 

“It’s hardly jealousy,” Sirius scoffed. 

“We just missed you,” James stated. 

“You saw me less than two hours ago,” you retorted. 

Remus shrugged. “I don’t see why we can’t join.”

You shook your head, though your amusement was clear. “You lot are a pain in my ass.” 

“We love you too, baby,” Sirius grinned as he leaned down, this time pressing a kiss to your lips. You could feel his smile grow when his brother let out a disgusted noise. 

“You’re going to scare away my friends,” you murmured with a playful pout. 

“Good,” James said as he shuffled over to you, happily laying his head down on your lap and grinning up at you. “Means we get to keep you to ourselves.” 

“Jealous bastards,” you huffed out a laugh. 

“Your jealous bastards, sweetheart,” Remus murmured with a hint of a smirk, unashamed in his words. 

Regulus blanched. “You guys can’t stay if you’re gonna try snogging her the whole night.” 

Sirius only grinned. “Shut up, Reggie, or we will try shagging her instead.”

.

[library-ducky]

Ghouls on vacation

Totally not inspired by me going to the seaside over the weekend. Not at all.

HEADCANONS UNDER THE CUT, LET'S GO

AETHER

gets everything set up

if there's a Papa nearby, he will make him sit down and rest, no buts

he'll go swimming, but will not put his head under the water. And he'll do at least one dive-bomb to soak any unfortunate soul who is close enough

he'll read crime mistery books while lounging on a deck chair (bonus point if there's a beer in his hand)

he has the Dad™️ fit: flip-flops, swimming trunks (with palm trees or dolphins or pineapples on them), an open hawaian shirt and the sunglasses and baseball cap combo

RAIN

knows how to surf

idk how or when or where he'd learn, but he DOES

also the sun brings out his bioluminescent spots (the biology probably doesn't check out but idc, I headcanon that he has bioluminescent freckles and the sun brings out freckles so)

(in his human glamour), he doesn't tan a lot (I might be projecting but it's *MY* headcanon and *I* get to choose the bitch that will simply not tan 😤)

if possible, he'll unglamour just to dive as deep as he can go

he's the bastard that brings out the pretty rocks and seashells

might also befriend a fish or two while he's at it

he pulls the "my hair is wet so I have to shake the water off OH NO I WAS STANDING TOO CLOSE AND SOMEONE GOT SPRAYED this surely was not on purpouse I would never 🥺👉🏻👈🏻"

PHANTOM

he'd be a bit scared to go in at first, but ultimately would get coaxed into it

he swims by doggy paddling for the better part of his time at the beach. He knows how to swim, that's just more fun to him

builds sandcastles (and honestly slays at it)

hates the feeling of salt in his hair after it dries, so Cumulus brings a water bottle along so he can rinse it out when he gets out of the sea

he gets HUNGRY after a swim

tries to dive along with Rain, but isn't able to go as deep since he's not a water Ghoul. He will, however, make it his job to point out pretty seashells and demand Rain gets them for him

SWISS

an absolute heathen in the water

he'll creep up behind people (mostly Dew or Phantom) and push their head under the water

he steals a bucket from Phantom and uses it to absolutely SOAK Aurora with the water he scoops from the sea

he tans both in human glamour and in actual Ghoul form

also knows how to surf (dude bro energy fr fr)

he'll be a menace and playfully tease and torment everyone but as soon as someone tells him to stop, he'll be on his best behaviour

reminds everyone to drink water (resorted to throwing a bottle at Rain's head one time cuz he would ignore him and refuse to stop swimming. Rain listened immediately)

DEWDROP

hair in a high bun IMMEDIATELY, will NOT let them get wet

unless Swiss pulls him under, but that usually warrants Swiss getting chased up and down the beach for 15 minutes with a fuming (HAH) Dew behind him

he'd bring a sunshade umbrella to stick in the sand (and then not use it cuz he likes to bask in the sun)

he'd also join Phantom in his sandcastle endeavours by digging a moat around the structure

will swim, but only for a little bit, he'd rather make himself sizzle in the sun

he doesn't really tan, but also doesn't get a sunburn (something something fire Ghoul)

Cumulus still manhandles him into putting on sunscreen (as she does with everyone)

MOUNTAIN

THE SUN MAKES HIS FRECKLES SO PROMINENT AND EVERYONE LOOKS AT HIM LIKE 💖👄💖

usually throws his hair into a haphazard bun and leaves it like that for the entire time

he jumps into the water EXCLUSIVELY by diving headfirst

he doesn't mind the salt on his skin after he dries off, he's used to the grime from the greenhouse and the gardens anyways

he tans, and the freckles on his shoulders/back/collarbone get much more visible as well

his cheeks also get a bit pinker from the sun and everyone calls him adorable because of it

will observe the local flora and fauna, he just can't help himself honestly (and he WILL tell Rain all the sea life fun facts he knows)

drinks only water, but occasionally he'll treat himself to a pre-mixed cocktail if Cumulus brings any (she always does)

CUMULUS

mom friend fr

brings an extra tube of sunscreen (both for the body and the face) just in case someone forgets

manhandles EVERYONE into putting it on

also brings some extra towels in case someone gets theirs wet by accident or forgets it completely

she packs snacks and fruit, as well as drinks (the cooler bag carried by Aether, of course)

she likes swimming, and doesn't mind diving or getting her hair wet (her hair gets really curly and fluffy when it's dry and everyone thinks it's the cutest thing ever)

reads romance novels

she steals the sunshade from Dew, he doesn't need it anyways

helps people to brush out their hair if they need it after a swim

the only person who could convince Rain to get out of the water immediately

CIRRUS

Rich Wine Aunt energy and she shows it

black bikini with a black sheer robe over it

big sunglasses and a big ass hat as well

she doesn't really go swimming a lot, she preferes to tan

reads horror novels on the beach

usually drinks a cosmopolitan cocktail while she lounges, sometimes (although rarely) a beer

she keeps her hair down for the added Dramatic Effect

she keeps everyone (or at least the Ghouls not in the water) cool with her air magic (Dew asked her to stop doing that for him cuz he likes burning in the sun)

will not tolerate being bothered in her peace (she will, actually, but she'll be extremely annoyed about it)

SUNSHINE

much like Dew, she loves to bask in the warmth of the sun

her hair gets hella curly and bouncy from the salt water

she has a whole "after tanning" routine so her skin won't get messed up

also she tans quite a lot

uses a tanning jam

likes to nap under the sunshade with Cumulus

she puts on headphones, plays some music aaaaand she's dozing off

the third surfer of the group (YES I'M HAVING "MALIBU RISING" BRAINROT IT'S SUCH A GOOD SUMMER BOOK)

makes necklaces out of the shells Rain picks up (if she manages to convince him to give some up)

star shaped sunglasses

AURORA

helps Phantom build sandcastles

also brings pretty rocks (and steals shells from Rain when he's not there) to decorate them

she LOVES swimming and diving

"her hair turns bright pink in salt water" ~@ligovskaya (okay Barbie mermaid toy moment 💅🏻✨️)

she does her nails on theme (either to do with the sea, the beach, fish, so on and so forth)

is in the process of learning how to surf and is being taught by Sunshine

she likes to listen to music but like on an ipod shuffle with wired headphones

has heart shaped sunglasses (got them from Sunshine cuz she decided that she's adopting Aurora as a sister, therefore they have to match)

she has the cutest, frilliest pink bathing suit (she's a pink girlie to me)

uses a tanning jam as well, but mostly because it smells nice

okay, this is it for now, I will gladly do other Ghouls or Papas if you guys want, you can pop into my ask box as well :3

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ reblogs are appreciated ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

[didalexiabreakupwitholgayet]

https://www.tumblr.com/liawaelti/761895822382235648/its-crazy-how-fast-some-barca-fans-have-turned-on

do you think aitana saying the same things as other players holds a different weight for fans or is it really just the fact that anyone who chooses to leave barca will have tomatoes thrown no matter what

honestly, as much as i hate it, it's the latter. like i've said many times before, there is a segment of culer fandom that turns on and cannibalises its own. 🙄 they are trying to make laia and mariona seem like hypocrites instead of getting to the heart of the matter, which is the stagnation and lack of growth of liga f.

liga f is the absolute worst! (they are also my arch nemesis and have tried to shut down my blog twice but that's another matter!) don't forget that last year levante las planas was playing on an artificial field. there's little to no promotion or sponsorship of the league. and if attendance hits 5.000, that's considered good. 😵‍💫

we cannot deny that there is an exodus of top liga f talent (that's not at barça) to other leagues including wsl, nwsl, and even liga mx femenil!

even though patri and aitana both returned to the selection and made similar comments about why liga f is a shitshow and hot mess, they won't get the same treatment as laia and mariona because they remained with barça. and it pisses me off because mariona gave 10 years of her life to barça and these fans are being ungrateful bastards! 😤

also, i have said nothing has changed with rfef, but even i will acknowledge there were cosmetic changes that did happen that at least made playing with the selection more bearable than what it was like beforehand. the bar was subterranean level, so it wasn't hard to make those types of changes, but there were some. that doesn't take away from these rightful criticisms of the league!

it's a systemic issue. laia and mariona are talking about societal change. look at what happened in england after the euro. i'm sorry to say we do not have anything like that happening in spain right now in the world of futfem. and even progress made within rfef is regressing as you saw from the olympics. and that's what we need to fix!

[ryuseibutgayer]

I’m hopping on the yamagishi agenda.. Yamagishi watching in awe as his girlfriend kicks ASS to protect him(and maybe mizo mid in general)

HIII thank you for your request!! <3 so sorry for the late reply :v I tried my best to provide the envisioning I thinnnnk you want? Hope I did :v let's beat some ASS, anon 😤

TW: beating up, Swearing, Makoto theft, blood mentions, Makoto pervy, Takuya future job reference

ꜱᴍᴀᴄᴋ ᴀ ʙɪᴛᴄʜ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴄʜʀɪꜱᴛᴍᴀꜱ ᴇᴠᴇ

YAMAGISHI

• He was just at the wrong place at the wrong time. That's all. Then some assholes decided that he looked funny.

• The second he spoke up to try and defend himself even the tiniest sliver, he immediately regretted it as the tallest one stood closer to him with that ugly stretched neck look.

• The thing that Yamagishi wasn't clenched and prepared for was you to come flying out from behind him- landing your foot square on that ugly bitch's face

• Yamagishi thought he'd been hit actually, so he'd flinched and dropped his ass back against the pavement- you can imagine his face when he looked up and it was y o u kicking ass

• This boy would immediately get right back up and start trying to find the best angle to watch

• He would start SCREAMING cheers and supporting you kicking ass

• God knows he can't do it himself

• Once you come back over to him after handing them back their last ass, he'd hold your face in his hands and start saying the most self-berative thanks to you💀💀 he'd also question how the fuck you did that

• expect ice cream later, constant bowing for the next week, and maybe a little hesitation he has with you when horse playing

AKKUN

• Oh God not the pretty boy

• Why him

• 😭 people were makin fun of his clean looks n shit like they could look half as good

• They were right out at the front of the school (exhibitionist jackassed punks)

• Akkun was ready to fucking take it just to get it over with with a gritted face as the brown haired assholw held him up by his collar

• AND THEN BAMMO YOU COME IN FUCKIN UP THAT BASTARDS ARM, LETS GO (nice job)

• Akkun just fell and got dust in his eyes 😭 after he rubbed his scratched butt and rubbed the dirt out of his vision, you were on top of the guy?? Goddamn you rabid freak, girl go off beatin his ass like that

• Yeah Akkun was worried tho so he shouted a tiny bit after he figured the guy had enough and trieda pullya off a tad

• Once you were back on your feet, the both of you were standing there out of breath just looking at each other all bewildered like 😧

• Then akkun would speak up and ask you "where the hell did you learn that, y/n-"

• He'd end up barely listening to your explanation and drag you off to the school nurse for your little scratches and knuckles

• He's gonna make sure he walks you home that day to make sure you both have the time to talk about- alla that

• He'll ask you to try and keep it in check, but he'll definitely thank you- he's STILL shocked at that

• He'll ask you try and not get involved with his bs affairs, just to make sure you'll be safe and not get in trouble for anything he dragged you into

• Sweet pomp boy <3

TAKUYA

• Mr future drug dealer

• IM KIDDING, ITS OVER THE COUNTER LAXATIVES TFYM, COOL IT Y/N

• Anyways

• Yeahhhh he was approached by some cunty punk that heard he was getting good grades in his science classes and started pushing onto Takuya with his "will you tutor me?? 🥺" bullshit

• Takuya obviously just flat out tried to express he didn't wanna be associated with this guy and his grunts, even if it meant helping him out

• Guess what set the idiot off

• y/n I can't imagine how mad you must've been going around the school looking for your boyfriend just to find him shoved onto the floor by someone that wasn't you

• "Only I sexualize bullying my boyfriend you bitch" vibes

• so of course you knocked that low grade asshole in the side of the head

• Once you got that punk just dazzled and walking in a dumb little circle, Takuya got up in time to slug him in the jaw for the final pinch and bwoof, suddenly there's a punk on the floor

• Takuya just was so grateful and physically affectionate after that

• He'd check ya all around to make sure you're all set, give you a hug or a noogie, then you'd both walk to the infirmary (his favorite place <3) ew takuya

• expect giggles and shits in the nurse's office like two little psychos until you both went home to watch a movie together

MAKOTO

• Yeah he's a thief, so what? B)

• Makoto kinda stole some cash from this unattended wallllleeeeeet..

• It kinda belonged to a big bad guyyyy....

• And he was kind offff being held against the wall of the alley outside a grocery store you two planned to meet at that day to grab snackkkkks, soooo

• BWAM SLAM HIS FACE IN THE GLASS

• GET 'IM IN THE SPINE Y/N, GRAHHH

• You absolutely got that guy's blood all over the pavement, look at you go

•Makoto practically shit himself when he got approached by in the first place

• THEN he almost shit himself when someone kicked him in the head

• Makoto was this . close to leaking that shit down his pant leg when he realized the person beating up that delinquent was you.

•......girl.

• Imma be dead ass with you, Makoto is horrified, but from that point on it's an immediate turn-on.

• He's gonna suggest some weird ass service in order to thank you, but ofc what else

• HE'LL BUY YOU DINNER FIRST, DONT DISCARD HIS CLASS MK

• speaking of, he bought all the snacks you breathed on in that grocery store after.

[11queensupreme11]

I'm sure that a PJ book mentions that the immortal children of the gods like to annoy and play practical jokes on their parents' half-breed children, how the yanderes would react seeing them Percy being bullied and belittled by her brothers and sisters, this is already shown to us in the last hero of Olympus when Triton wants to make Percy understand that she is a coward and emphasizes to him that he is the heir of the seas (I've always wondered what the need for an "heir" is if his father is immortal) and that she is not technically a princess according to the label she is a Bastard because Sally was not even Poseidon's concubine when he was with her and that those who are true princesses are the two daughters of Poseidon with Amphitrite being the legitimate wife and Queen from Atlantis (her daughters are called Cimponela and Rhodes if I'm not mistaken)

(IM SORRY FOR NEVER ANSWERING THISSS BTWWWW 💀💀💀 i just have a lot of asks and im trying to shave them down jhdfjha)

im trying to remember canon, but i think triton was the only sibling percy met who was a jerk to him and DIDN'T get killed/attacked for it??? 😭😭

literally most of the siblings percy met tried to kill her and she retaliated by killing them so even tho they bullied her, she DEFINITELY dealt with them promptly 💀💀💀

BUT ANYWAY, poseidon and hades would be the most pissed about this i think.

poseidon's already mad that he has all these kids that are either ugly af, monstrous, and just "imperfect" to him in general, and now he finds out that they've been bullying his daughter (and, in more extreme cases, trying to kill her). like, how DARE they? this would also fuel his hatred for pjo poseidon because "control your fucking sperms you pos, they keep attacking MY daughter 😤". since he can't kill the godly children, he'd probably just toss them into tartarus as a form of "time out" asjfhjahvf 😭😭😭

hades is GREATLY disappointed but not to a murderous extent at least. "this is not how you treat your little siblings, young man/lady 😠, i expected better from you". he's THEEEE big brother of big brothers, so he would be very disgusted at how pjo! posideon's kids are behaving (and the other godly children tbh cuz wtf leave your little half-blood siblings alone!!!). he would also click his tongue at pjo! poseidon's poor parenting and would probs scold him to get better control over his godly children: "your children are bullies, you should be ashamed of yourself for letting this go on!!! DO BETTER!"

as for beelzebub, he'd be the same as poseidon but more swift about it. the SECOND he realizes that percy's godly siblings like to either bully/attack her, he's throwing them into tartarus. won't even hesitate or anything, he is NOT letting this go any longer because he's paranoid and overprotective like that.

apollo would be a mix between hades and beelzebub. since these godly kids are his beloved's siblings, he would TRY to tell them to either leave her alone or be nicer, but they're obviously not gonna listen so he's gonna whisk percy away to delos (kidnap) while he "deals with her siblings 😊". can't risk his darling being killed!

as for loki, he'd be pissed at the treatment, BUT he would encourage percy to get revenge. she'd most likely say no cuz she honestly doesn't wanna deal with her godly siblings (can't remember), so he would avenge her instead by playing some "harmless" pranks on them.

[dragonanon]

I honestly cannot fucking believe that none of y’all have considered the prospect of Buggy with a GF who’s like Harley Quinn smh. 😤

Like, you’re just a silly, goofy, girl, with a pack of like 7 Hyenas that follow your every command. You’ll happily go along with whatever BS Buggy and the rest of the crew are up to, but you’ll also go apeshit on people if provoked and probably sic your Hyenas on them too.

During a fight, you get cornered by some asshole who’s like “Got any last words~?” To which you just respond by giving a loud whistle and screaming “BAAABIEEEES!!” And out of nowhere, this pack of 7 Hyenas comes charging in and starts ripping the poor bastard to shreds. “The Yeens can have a little shithead…as a treat~” you giggle as your Hyenas eat the man alive.