#lol I’m so rusty with character asks

[kalorphic]

Can i ask for ROs reaction to MC being used? Like domestical things like someone keeps making MC do their job or getting coffee. And just in case u didnt get the amount of support u need, i think ur amazing: ur characters are all well written, ur twine story format is eye-catching, your gentle way with answering questions is appreciated and your complexion is beautiful ♡♡♡

I know this ask is old, but thank you so much for your compliments, lovely 🥹🤍 I can’t claim credit for the UI though, that’s all on the incredible @/outoftheblue-if !!

K: would have been informed by their minions in your department about this person. Luckily they’re at HQ, so they can get to you quickly. Fury sparks in their chest when they see you happily getting your user colleague a coffee. K practically prowls across the room, minions frantically throwing themselves out of the way, and makes eye contact with the bastard, who goes so pale, they might as well be dead. Good, thinks K, nobody messes with what’s mine. “You know who I am?” A nod. “You know who they are to me?” Another nod. K grins, all teeth. “Then you must be one stupid bastard.”

A: frowns at the sight before them. You’re giving a person a slightly strained smile as they dump another pile of folders, clearly their own work, on your desk. A is about to go over there and politely ask that the person do their own work in future, when said person snaps their fingers in your face and laughs as you flinch. It makes A’s hackles rise, and they’re by your side in seconds, shoving the folders back into the person’s hands with too bright eyes, a vicious smile, and enough force to make them stumble a few steps back. “Try that again, and I promise that you’ll regret it.”

Reese: feels their hands clench into fists as the anger wraps it’s way around them like an old friend. They’re usually so good at controlling their temper, but watching this person take advantage of you really ticks Reese off. Fortunately for your colleague, you catch sight of them and smile, allowing Reese to take a deep breath and force the tension from their body, returning the smile. Ahh, how whipped they were. Now calmer, Reese makes their way over to your user, and leans right down next to their ear. You don’t hear what Reese says, but the person goes an off green colour, frantically nodding their head. Your partner then turns back to you with a bright grin and a request to join them for lunch.

Luisa: raises her eyebrow at you running around for your lazy sack of shit colleague. She always knew that your good-nature would end up getting you into trouble, but lucky for you, your girlfriend wasn’t in a particularly forgiving mood today. She makes her way over to the person who thought they could use you, and grabs the back of their shirt, yanking them up to their feet and letting her smirk grow just shy of feral at the high-pitched squeal they let out. How pathetic, she thinks. “I think it’s time for the little piggy to do their own work, no?”

Cody: has had enough, they’ve born witness to this person taking advantage of your kindness stupidity too many times. They hoped that you would eventually tell them to back off, but it’s day six and you’re still acting like their servant. The next time it happens, Cody spins around on their chair, sneers at your user, and says very loudly: “are you so utterly incapable of doing your work that you have to fob it off onto other people? You might as well just quit at this point and save yourself from further embarrassment.” The person flushes red, and Cody laughs and then adds, much quieter: “apart from MC, I’m the best this place has got, keep pissing me off and I’ll ruin you.”

Noah: let’s their instincts take over when they see you being taken advantage of. It makes their blood boil. Noah comes up behind your colleague, completely silent, and leans down into their space, making the person jump. They start to snap something before they realise just who has snuck up on them. Noah grins at the fear in their eyes and the useless attempts to speak. “How sweet, such a scared little mouse.” Noah can’t help but laugh as the person whimpers. “You’re not even worth my time, so you’re certainly not worth MC’s. However, I’m in a good mood, so I’ll give you a piece of advice…if you want to live a long life, you’ll do your own work from now on.”

[ccherrybloom]

Ashtrays & Antihistamines Pt. 1

oc, m, hayfever, wc: 2.8k

Part 2

CW: foul language and allusions to gay sex lol

~~

a.n. + summary: i don't think i've ever posted a snzfic on this blog, but there's a first for everything, right? featuring my lovely little ocs and their stupid dumb little band. i don't normally write them in snzcerions, but...every now and again i can’t help myself and one slips through the cracks lol. This particular one centers around my absolute shithead of an Irishman, Peter, as he deals with a hayfever flare up for the first time in like…twenty years, lol. of course, ever the lucky one, this begins to happen during the band’s first mini-tour. Cue shenanigans. I hope you all enjoy!

~~

“hH’RRSHhiue!” Peter fell into himself with a harsh sneeze, the band’s rundown van jerking sporadically with its driver’s sudden movement. “Goddamnit!”

“Bless.” Geoff offered lazily from the passenger seat as he turned a page of his book, unbothered by the vehicle’s erratic veer. “That’s like the tenth one since we’ve left Dublin.” The bassist pointed out, shooting the guitarist a pointed look from the corner of his eye. “You alright?”

“Fuckin’ hayfever,” Peter answered as he scrubbed his palm aggressively against the underside of his nose, careful not to put too much pressure against his nose rings. He followed it up with a drawn-out sniffle. “I’m fine. Christ.”

“I don’t remember ya being like this before,” Maurice quipped from the back of the van, leaning forward to join in on the conversation. “I mean hell, ya lived in Dublin fer how many years…?”

“Longer than you, Frenchie.” Peter retorted as he thrust a tattooed hand backwards to try and shove the singer away. Maurice easily dodged with a laugh, swatting at Peter’s hand as Geoff instinctively reached out to steady the van as it began to swerve again. “You can piss right off.”

“Look, I’m just sayin’, yer born and bred Irish — who knew all it took was a few months in London for yer own country to turn on ya.”

“I said piss off.”

“Who gives a shit!” Chris suddenly interjected as he pulled his headphones from his ears, a curly lock of the drummer’s dark hair falling between his eyes. “Just keep your bloody eyes on the road! I dunno ‘bout you lot, but I’d like to get there in one piece.”

Maurice backed off with a snicker, hands up in surrender as Peter quickly flipped Chris off in the rear view mirror before returning his full attention to the road.

After Peter and Maurice had both left Dublin for London a few months shy of one another, the four men began to pour almost all of their free time into their passion project, The Undergrounds. Much to their genuine surprise, people seemed to really enjoy their band’s sound and performances, so much so in fact that they’d hit a point where pubs across the UK were beginning to reach out to them, asking the group to come play for their open mic nights, with some even offering payment. With the requests getting further and further away from their homebase in London, the band finally decided to bite the bullet and buy themselves some transportation, namely their shithole of a van lovingly referred to as Van Halen. Despite its old clunkiness, it really did do the trick, and allowed the men to head across the border on their first ever ‘Let’s-Not-Call-It-A-Tour’ Tour. Realistically, with two of the four members being from (or as close to ‘from’ as one could be, in Maurice’s case) Ireland, the band had picked up quite a bit of traction across the small country with the men getting many open mic night requests which they normally had to turn down, much to Peter’s dismay.

At least until now, that is.

Peter had noticed something was off after their show in Dublin the night prior. At first he just assumed he strained his voice singing backup vocals — a product of over-excitement from getting to play in his old stomping grounds. But by morning the scratchiness in his throat lingered and was now accompanied by faint itchiness in his nose that forewarned him of worse yet to come. 

By the time the men packed up their gear and filed into the van late that afternoon, the unwelcoming prickle that had been festering in his nose demanded more attention, and his eyes began to itch in a maddening way that he hadn’t experienced since he was a kid back in Belfast. Initially he tried to ignore it, chalking it up as a residual reaction to dust from the old pub, or that it had been awhile since Van Halen had gotten a good clean. But as time slowly passed on their nearly three hour drive to Cork, and the itchiness in his sinuses progressed into full-blown sneezing, the reality of the situation began to dawn on him. He was immediately thrust back to Belfast, memories of summers spent constantly sneezing thanks to the fields near his old home, his eyes watering, his nose running, each summer spent absolutely miserable. He hadn’t had a hayfever flare-up in years, thinking it was something he had thankfully outgrown once his mum had moved them to Dublin, but yet here it was, back to rear its ugly head once more all these years later. The familiar lush scents of the countryside that used to conjure such vivid memories of home were now turning every intake of breath the guitarist took into a gamble. 

The itchiness in Peter’s nose only seemed to increase in urgency as Van Halen bumped its way through the Irish countryside. The landscape blurred past the windows, a mix of greens and greys under a sky that threatened rain.

“Nearly there.” Geoff hummed, taking a peek at the map app on his phone. “About another twenty or so.”

“Thank fuck.” Peter grumbled with a sniffle, his eyes squinting past the relentless itchiness. He adjusted his grip on the steering wheel and pulled his glasses up slightly before slamming his wrist into one eye and scrubbing hard.

“I think we could all do with a pint,” Maurice chimed in, trying to lighten the mood. “Especially you, Peter.” He added, gently poking the man’s shoulder.

Peter managed a weak chuckle in response, his wrist still pressed hard into the corner of his eye. 

“Just keep it steady Pete, yeah?” Chris leaned himself forward and rested his elbows onto his knees, eyes scanning the road ahead. “Not much longer and you can go ahead and drown yourself in whatever local brew you fancy.”

Peter opened his mouth to reply, but the van hit a particularly bumpy patch of road, jolting everyone inside. Instead he just swore under his breath, turning his full focus back towards the road as Cork began to appear on the horizon.

“There she is.” Geoff whistled, pointing ahead. “Welcome to Cork, lads.”

Peter managed to manoeuvre Van Halen expertly through the narrow streets of Cork despite battling his allergic reaction, the van’s tires crunching over cobblestone as he pulled them into the parking lot of their dingy motel.

“Home sweet home.” Maurice hummed as he clapped a hand onto Peter’s shoulder, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips as the other two members filed out. “At least fer the next few days.”

Peter leaned back into the driver’s seat and let his eyes drift closed as he exhaled deeply, shutting off the engine. He only cracked an eye back open when he felt Maurice give his shoulder a gentle squeeze.

“You alright?” The singer asked, his voice low and expression soft.

“I’m grand, Mur.” Peter grumbled, his voice heavy with sarcasm. The real truth of the matter was that he was miserable, itchy, and absolutely dying for a cigarette — not that he cared to say any of that out loud. 

The guitarist pulled off his glasses to give his watery eyes another scrub before continuing. “Just got a fierce bad dose of this nonsense…This shite best be all said and done before our show or I’ll–hh! hH’ITSHHhiue!”

“See, but that’s what we don’t wantcha doin’, actually.” The blonde teased as he patted the guitarist’s shoulder before the other quickly slapped it away as if he were swatting a mosquito.

“You fuck right off, Murry.” Peter sniffled hard, dragging the backside of his hand beneath his nose. “Just get yer shit and get goin’.”

Maurice did as he was told and hopped out of the van with Peter not far behind as the pair hurriedly began to help the others unload. With the sky steadily darkening the four moved quickly, eager to avoid the potential rain. Luckily the unloading and reloading of Van Halen had become more and more familiar with each passing gig, and it didn’t take them long to have all the necessities laid out beside the van, ready to go.

The motel itself was a shabby vintage looking two-story building, its neon sign flickering with an almost uncertain intermittence as if it were clinging onto its last shred of life.

Maurice and Geoff took the lead, carrying the group’s heavier equipment while Chris and Peter followed suit with their four bags. They bustled their way to the reception desk where they were met with a disinterested looking clerk who simply handed them a single worn key with a faded plastic tag attached.

“Yer in room 107.” He mumbled, barely looking up from his magazine.

“Cheers, mate.” Geoff scoffed as he shot the others an exasperated look and snatched the key. He led the group down the dimly lit hallway, their feet dragging against a carpet that had clearly seen better days. When they reached their room Geoff wasted no time unlocking the door and shoving it open, revealing a tightly packed space with two queen beds, a small television, and a bathroom that looked like it hadn’t been updated in at least two decades.

“Alright, how we doin’ this?” Chris asked as he tossed the bags he had onto the closest bed.

“By drawing straws, of course.” Geoff instructed as he pulled a set of straws he had prepared earlier out of his pocket. “Shortest straw shares with the other shortest straw.”

The others agreed on this being fair enough and drew their straws, quickly comparing them.

“Well, it’s you and me, innit?” Chris said as he held up his short straw next to Peter’s. He gave the other a playful nudge and smirked. “Just don’t go tryin’ nuffin, yeah?”

Peter sniffled thickly and shoved Chris away before pinching his nose between his thumb and forefinger, careful to avoid the rings, and itched it aggressively. “I got enough of ya the first time.” He moved from rubbing his nose to scrubbing his eyes, trying to ignore the way Maurice bristled at the mention of their one-off fling. “Won’t be doin’ that again.” Chris flipped him off and called him a wanker, but he went ahead and ignored that too.

“Hey, Pete,” Geoff called out as he tossed his bag onto the other bed. “Why don’t you take a shower? Might help clear up a bit of that hayfever.”

Peter, who’s eyes had started to glaze over, did his best to nod in the ginger’s general direction. “That’s the best ideee-hha I’ve heard all d—hh! hhUH’DITSHhhiuew! ‘IGKSHhhiueww!” He doubled over hard into cupped hands, his entire body tensing violently with each sneeze before he groaned thickly against his palms. “—all damn day.” He finished on an exhale, voice cracking. “-snf- Jaysus…”

“Bless you.” Geoff offered, a twinge of sympathy in his voice. “You know you really ought to—”

“G’way outta that.” Peter interjected with a dismissive wave of his hand as he trudged his way to the bathroom, eyes half-lidded. “Last thing I need is yer bloody mother hennin’, Geoffrey.” He added before pulling the door closed behind him. 

Flicking the light switch, Peter had to wait a full second before the dull fluorescents sputtered to life, illuminating the unsightly bathroom as he dragged his feet towards the shower. The tiles were cracked and the floor was splotchy, but he didn’t care, he just wanted some relief. 

The pipes whined in protest as he turned on the taps before water began to sputter out from the shower head. The water pressure seemed abysmal at best, and Peter cursed to himself as he leaned his weight against the sink, waiting for the water to warm. As steam steadily started filling the small space, he could feel the tightness in his sinuses ease up slightly, making his nose run. The liquid caught on his septum ring and trailed rapidly down towards his upper lip. Blowing out an annoyed breath, the guitarist took a second to wipe his nose haphazardly against his sleeve before stripping and stepping into the tub, letting the warm water cascade over him with an appreciative sigh.

Outside of the bathroom Geoff and Maurice were seated on each side of their shared bed as they sorted through their bags.

“Think he’ll live?” Maurice asked as he pulled out his plastic toiletry bag, setting it to the side.

Geoff gave a small shrug in return, glancing towards the bathroom door. “I reckon it could go either way with that dumb git.”

Maurice snorted at this, but his knit brow betrayed his feigned air of nonchalance. “Just hope the shower helps, I s’ppose. Don’t think we can really afford to have him down fer the count.”

Chris, already sprawled out on the other bed, headphones back on, piped up. “Eh, he’ll be alright. Just needs to wash off whatever’s settin’ ‘im off. It’s no big, yeah? You French people are wound too tight.”

Maurice rolled his eyes at this but chose to ignore the drummer’s comment. “I just don’t want anythin’ to screw this up for us.” He murmured as his eyes fell onto the bathroom door. “That’s all.”

“hh-Hh! hH’dDZTShiueww!” Peter sneezed loudly and openly, his head snapping downwards as the shower’s stream continued to steadily pelt against his tattooed back. He blinked hard, eyes bleary as the need to sneeze lingered in his nose like an unwelcome houseguest. Instinctively he brought up a hand to hover over the lower half of his face as his breathing began to come out in shuddering, shallow gasps. “hah…Ha’TdSHhhiuew!” This one bent him double and he swore immediately afterwards, more than a little frustrated as he blew his nose harshly into his hand. Had his hayfever always been this maddening? He couldn’t remember. It had been a long time since he’d had a flare-up, probably pushing two decades at least. The thought that it had come back now during the band’s first tour just pissed him off further.

Sighing, Peter turned off the water and stepped out of the shower, reaching out for one of the worn threadbare towels from the hotel rack. He dried himself off quickly before wrapping the towel dangerously loose around his waist – the only member who had yet to see his dick was Geoffrey, and the guitarist couldn’t give less of a shit if today was the day that changed.

Wiping a hand across the fogged bathroom mirror, Peter allowed himself a moment to peer at his reflection as he dragged a hand through his damp, dark hair and threw on his glasses. His green eyes were still red-rimmed and watery, his nose and cheeks were decorated with a soft dusting of pink…he looked pathetic, but at least the shower was helping him breathe a little easier.

Residual steam billowed out into the cooler room as Peter made his way out of the bathroom, catching the eye of Maurice.

“Peter,” The singer looked up from his bag and offered the dark-haired man a small smile, taking in the other’s lean frame. “How ye fairin’?” 

“Bit better, I’d say.” Peter hummed, though a small sniffle still escaped him as he wandered over to his bag, making Maurice frown.

“Reckon you’re up for a drink?” Geoff asked, not looking up from his phone. “We were thinking of checking out this pub nearby. Interested?”

Peter mulled it over for a moment, turning his back on the others before dropping his towel and pulling on a pair of boxer-briefs. “Yeah, g’wan then.” He finally affirmed, clearing his throat against a fist as he fished an old t-shirt from his bag. “Pint’ll do me some good.”

“Are ya sure?” The singer asked, chewing on his lip nervously as Peter wiggled into a pair of jeans. “If yer not feelin’ up for it–”

“Sod off, Maurice, will you?” Chris suddenly retaliated as he pushed himself up onto his elbows. “Actin’ like you’re his bloody mum or somefin’ just cos you’re shaggin’. Prat.”

Peter couldn’t help but snort as Maurice glared daggers at Chris, his face turning a delightful shade of crimson. The fact that he and Maurice slept together on occasion wasn’t exactly a secret – their initial one-night stand was how the two had met in the first place, after all – but it wasn’t something that was often discussed amongst the group. Peter personally didn’t care, but Maurice clearly did.

“You don’t see me actin’ like a bloody bellend even though I’ve also sucked his–”

“Ça commence à bien faire!” Maurice shot up suddenly from the bed, cutting Chris off as his native tongue spilled rapidly from his mouth. “Fer the love of God, no more, thank you!” 

The singer hurriedly made a beeline for the hotel room door, grabbing his coat as he rushed past the others, his face absolutely aghast as the others snickered. “Just…hurry up, then! Christ, I need a feckin’ drink…”

“I think we all do.” Geoff huffed as Maurice stepped into the hall. “C’mon, lads. Let’s go.”

[heesdreamer]

Anything

PAIRING ➩ heeseung x reader

SUMMARY ➩ Four years after he disappeared from your life your childhood friend and love returns back to town completely changed.

WARNINGS ➩ Heeseung is an addict and not a super amazing person, broken people with bad communication skills, rough smut, like quick hate sex basically. Super angst but I hope it’s still a good read lol… based in the late 90s early 2000s

WC ➩ 11k

AUTHORS NOTE ➩ A bit nervous to be posting here again after five months since I’m pretty rusty but hopefully you’ll take it easy on me lol. No part two for this and it’s an open ending (my favorite) so infer what you’d like but feel free to ask me anything about the story or the characters! Hope it’s okay and I missed you guys. NOT PROOFREAD

Summer was pretty much the constant season where you grew up outside of the few weeks the sun disappeared and the rain turned the beaches grey.

You appreciated the break every year considering it just made the heat coming back feel ten times better, that first day being able to run into the ocean again always feeling like your towns personal version of new year.

Let the salt water wash away your sins and the tears that had long dried on your sun kissed cheeks.

Your town had been spared from tourist for most of your childhood even though it’s definitely gained traction during more recent years if the alarming amount of people outside the local diners said anything.

The locals didn’t mind as long as they cleaned up their empty bottles of sunscreen from the public beaches and didn’t interfere with the abundance of native wild life.

You definitely didn’t mind considering you were on your sixth year working at the smoothie shop just a block away from the most popular beach and you enjoyed suckering large families out of large tips by giving them basic fun facts about the area they could use for their vacation.

It was the least you could do as somebody who lived in a permanent one.

This years version of those rainy few weeks came in the suddenly deliverance of news you’d never even imagined hearing let alone prepared yourself to deal with.

“Hey.” Jake sounded out of breath as he crashed through the flimsy door of the smoothie shop, hair wet from either just leaving the beach where he worked as a lifeguard or from the slight drizzle that had started to pick up.

“Hey, don’t get my floor wet. Assuming you’re off this week?” You were folding cleaning rags in preparation for closing up the shop for the next few days due to the news channel continuously warning the locals of a storm coming.

Jake rolled his eyes at your light scolding but you noticed that he did avoid sitting on the stools or touching anything he could get his wetness on.

“Oh so it’s your floor now?” He was cocking an eyebrow up as he looked at you and now it was your turn to roll your eyes, a light smile on your face at the teasing.

You’d know Jake the same amount of time you had known pretty much anybody living in the town which was basically the entire sum of your life. All the kids went to the same small school district and everyone’s parents knew each other to some capacity so there’d never been a time you didn’t know him and your other friends.

“So…” Your extensive knowledge of him made it even more obvious that he was about to tell you something you didn’t want to hear, his tone changing to the same one he used whenever he had to let the beach goers know the waters weren’t safe. “He’s back in town.”

The mood in the small shop changed immediately and you tensed up from where you were still folding the rags, placing the one you were working on back down onto the counter and squeezing it with your hand.

You noticed the rain picking up outside and it was almost ironic how it seemed to match your mood.

“Oh.” That was all you could manage to say and Jake dropped his shoulders in defeat at your dull reaction. “No Jakey thanks for telling me that’s.. it’s nice to have a heads up.”

Neither one of you spoke for a few seconds and you let the sound of the wind whipping around the thin metal panels of the roof distract you just enough to stop you from immediately bombarding him with questions. You didn’t need him to know how much you cared even though you knew he already did.

“Did- did you see him?”

“Saw his mom at the market on my lunch break.” He was watching you so intensely that it was starting to annoy you. He looked like he was waiting for you to explode and you were considering giving him what he wanted just so he’d stop staring like that. “They’re like.. well he’s back in the old house so I’m assuming that means… yeah.”

He was awkward in his delivery but you understood exactly what he meant, your old friend wasn’t just back in town for a vacation or a trip down memory lane but instead he was back for at least the near future.

Your head hung low as you tried your best to not react outwardly but the humorless scoff left your mouth before you could stop it and you heard Jake sigh near the door.

Luck was at least in your favor considering the news was right and the rain didn’t stop for another four days meaning you and the boys didn’t have work and there was no chance of you running into the exact person you wanted to avoid.

You spent your days at Sunghoon’s house which was on the other side of town from where you and the rest of your friends lived.

Sunghoon had been the last person to join your small group and he almost hadn’t been accepted considering he didn’t go to the same school and actually didn’t live there at all. His father was beyond wealthy and owned a nice property up on the hill, a place you and your friends used to sit on the beach and stare at while daydreaming about living there.

He came down every winter from the city so him and his dad could escape the cold and icy roads and then he’d leave again once the temperature picked up.

Naturally this made him a bit of an outcast compared to the rest of you who grew up together and spent nearly every single day hanging out and playing on the beaches but you liked him nonetheless.

He wasn’t as spoiled as you figured he probably could have been and if anything he was actually pretty sheepish whenever someone mentioned how much money he constantly had at his disposal.

You’d all tease him until he bought you snacks and ice cream in bulk just to get you off his back, a silent peace offering.

An even more silent ‘I’m sorry you’re poor and I’m not’.

Once you all got older and his dad got too tired to continue the travel back and forth just to avoid some snow, Sunghoon would come by himself just to see you all and you imagined it was any day now before he decided to stay for good.

The image from their hillside property was breathtaking even through the storm, floor to ceiling windows that you’d perch yourself on while the others slept. It had a perfect view of the biggest beach and the mountains behind it and despite growing up with it as your backdrop, you never got used to it.

“Can’t sleep?” Riki’s voice was echoing through the nearly empty living room, a feat of Sunghoon’s dad practically moving out.

You turned your head to see him shuffling towards you in his pajamas with an open bottle of wine in his hands. He was taking a swig before nudging your leg with his hand so you would move it and he could sit down beside you with a groan.

His back was against the other side of the windowsill and your legs were crossing over his in a mirror image but he looked just as exhausted as you figured you did and it was sort of comforting to know you weren’t the only one handling this bad.

“When do I ever sleep?” Your hand was sticking out as you spoke and he took one more sip of the wine before handing the bottle over to you.

Your face pulled into a grimace at the sour taste and he laughed softly at the reaction before leaning forward to snatch it back and keep it away from you. You looked back out the window but you could feel him staring at you now and you sighed.

Riki had been around just as long as Jake had but he was also your neighbor which added another layer of familiarity. There was no hiding your family issues with him like you attempted with the others because he was one window away and often the person you ran to when things got too hard.

“Saw him in town you know, before we headed up here.” He was starting off in a whisper like he was testing the waters and you were getting sick of people treating you like a loose canon when it came to this. “He looks different.”

“Obviously. He was a kid last time we saw him and he’s what, 20 now?” You phrased it like you weren’t too sure but both of you were aware that you knew his exact age. You’d never forgotten his birthday and your mood soured every year on that day for the past four times it cycled past.

“21.” Riki clarified anyways and you appreciated that you both pretended you’d be able to make that mistake. “And I don’t just mean he grew up I mean he looks terrible.”

Your stomach turned uncomfortably as graphic images made their way into your mind and you squeezed your eyes tight at the thought of him and what he could possibly look like now.

“Why are you telling me this Riki?” You sounded hurt and lost and you felt his leg nudging yours again like he was either trying to comfort you or snap you out of the tense state you’d fallen into. You opened your eyes and stared at him and the way the moonlight highlighted the side of his face.

“I told him I’d meet him for lunch once the storm cleared up.” He said it slowly and that made it that much easier for you to hear the overwhelming guilt in his voice. “I’d like for you to be there. I’m asking you to be there.”

Your face fell flat but he didn’t stop looking at you as he dropped the bomb and you almost wanted to shy away from the intense gaze just waiting for you to show that you cared.

“You can’t ask me that.” It came out as a whisper and you hated how weak you sounded at just the idea of seeing him.

“But I am.”

—

Two days later the clouds were gone like they’d never been there and the unrelenting heat was building back up at full force. You all returned down from the hillside property with raging hangovers and a suffocating promise.

You tried to ignore your phone ringing on the wall because you knew who it was, or at least could guess out of three names but it was pointless considering Riki was right next door and the ringing soon turned to knocks at your window.

So you told yourself you agreed to the lunch because you were sick of being harassed about it and it was not because you needed to see him for yourself.

If anything this was your chance to prove you didn’t care about him and you just had never felt that level of loss before. It wouldn’t kill you to hear his voice and listen to the way it’s changed over the lost time and you’d be able to get through the meal with a few awkward conversations before getting to go back to your regular life.

You were immediately proven wrong the second you pushed into the restaurant and you would have stopped in your tracks if it wasn’t for Riki’s guiding hand on your lower back.

He worked at this restaurant and it was directly on the shore of the beach so despite it being busy post storm he was easily maneuvering you through it towards the table.

You stayed back a few feet as the boy stood up and went to greet your other friends, a few awkward seconds passing like they didn’t know wether to shake hands or hug before Jake was moving forward and pulling the older boy into a tight embrace.

Sunghoon was doing the same and rubbing the back of his head comfortably before Riki gave him a familiar pat on the shoulder due to the fact they’d already gone through the first encounter nerves.

The three boys immediately climbed into the booth and started to flip through the menus to give you some privacy even though you all knew they’d eaten the same things here since they were kids and knew every dish like the back of their hand.

You still appreciated the gesture considering the second he looked at you your heart clenched painfully and you suddenly felt like you were 17 again.

“Hey y/n.” His voice was low as he spoke but you could still hear it enough to notice you barely recognized it. It had dropped a few octaves and it was painfully raspy.

“You look like shit Hee.” Your blunt words and the use of the familiar nickname made him scoff out a laugh and he nodded his head in agreement to your insult.

He truly did even though you were just trying to tease him and loosen the atmosphere. He was ten shades paler than the rest of you but you had a feeling it wasn’t due to him not being around the sun all the time anymore. He looked nearly sickly and your stomach turned the more you saw the signs of that being true.

His eyes looked tired and sad but what was the worst change was how skinny he was. He’d always been thin but now he was towering over you and still looking like a strong wave could take him out.

He sniffed uncomfortably because of your intense gaze and your eyes honed in on his prominent wrist bone and the way he flicked at his nostril.

Your eyebrows furrowed at the action and he immediately lowered his arm like he’d just been caught doing something, confirming your belief.

The silence was awkward but luckily one of Riki’s coworkers was approaching to get your drinks and you scooted past the tall boy so you could slide in the booth besides Sunghoon.

It was unusual for you to be nearly silent and not engaging in the conversation but you couldn’t really handle trying to fumble your way through acting like everything was normal like the others were.

You started to wonder if they really did think it was just a normal meal while catching up with a childhood friend.

It blew your mind to consider that maybe they didn’t see the way Heeseung was constantly bouncing his knee and picking apart his napkin or the fact he’d barely taken a bite of food the entire time. Did they not see his fidgeting eyes and the fact he looked sick every glance he took towards your direction.

The boys did their best to fill the silence without bringing up anything that would let Heeseung know how much he’d missed out on and soon enough everyone was having to go back to work.

You’d gotten the day off since the storm had drastically killed off the tourist that make up 90% of your daily customers and you could tell the boy across from you felt a bit lost when everyone stated their plans for the rest of the day.

“Did you maybe want to go to the beach with me?” You had no idea why you were inviting him but by the time you noticed the shocked look on your friends faces, it was too late and the offer was hanging heavily in the air.

He looked around like he wasn’t quite sure you were talking to him and his eyes were a little more alert when he finally turned back to face you.

“Uh yeah sure.”

Riki gave you a cautious look as you left and Sunghoon parted you with a swift kiss on the cheek and another firm hug for Heeseung. Jake was heading to the same place as you for his shift as a lifeguard so it made the walk down the street a little less awkward.

The roles reversed from lunch and now it was Heeseung’s turn to fall silent while you and Jake softly joked and made casual commentary on the damage the storm had did. You would have forgotten he was there at all if not for his constantly sniffling and the fact his presence shifted your entire atmosphere.

“Be safe yeah?” You weren’t sure if it was meant to have a double meaning but Jake made your stomach turn as he left your side to head to the watch tower.

Heeseung was clearing his throat beside you but you ignored him in favor of finding an umbrella to sit near, not quite under so you could still feel the sun on your skin. He opted for sitting directly under the shade and you were brought back to when you were kids and he was always the last one inside.

He was impossible to tame and get out of the water even long after the sun set and the parents began to call you all home but he couldn’t be more different now.

Memories of his freckled tan face smiling at you, eyes squinted against the bright sky with his hand above his eyebrows to try and block it so he could see you better. His laugh always the loudest sound over the crashing waves and the way it felt when he’d wrap his arms around you to throw you into the water.

Now he was practically curling in on himself to avoid the rays and he looked almost pained at the sounds of the kids playing and splashing around.

It was hard to believe this was the same boy who had you convinced there was salt water in his veins.

“Since when are you getting high?”

You didn’t sound at all accusatory in your question, just plainly asking for an answer to the obvious but he immediately tensed up and sent a glare that would have you believing you’d gotten it wrong if it wasn’t for the embarrassment in his eyes.

He took a few seconds to answer but you extended your thin patience towards him and waited.

“I’m not anymore.” He had a funny tone to his that almost sounded like he was saying an inside joke, something you clearly didn’t understand and your face furrowed. “That’s why I’m here actually.”

Your mouth was parting in realization and you couldn’t help the bitter laugh that slipped out of you. You felt overwhelmingly stupid in that moment but it wasn’t necessarily your fault for not assuming the worst about his intentions.

“Here I thought you were back because you actually missed us. Didn’t realize this was your rehab.” He didn’t look amused anymore and you were struck by how much you wanted to see him smile at you again.

He nodded and looked away from you and that was enough for you to realize the conversation was over.

—

four years ago

You’d never been anywhere else but you had a hard time believing any other place could measure up to what you were experiencing now.

The sounds of your lifelong friends splashing each other and laughing as they took unexpected blows from the waves, bodies crashing through the surface of the water and pushing back through with groans of playful annoyance.

You knew the sun was setting soon which meant the head lifeguard (who happened to be jake’s older brother) was going to usher you all back home and away from the water but you would have given anything for the moment to freeze.

Even if your butt was damp from the wet sand you were sitting on and you were starting to shiver from the lack of clothes paired with the disappearing heat.

You watched as another head popped out of the water before standing to his full height and glancing around like he was searching for something. His gaze stopped on you and a bright smile broke out on his face at the sight of you sitting on the beach and observing the scene.

It made you feel warm to see him brush off your friends and push through the water so he could get over to you, shaking his head to semi dry his hair and laughing when you squealed at the sudden wetness hitting you.

“You cold?” He was flopping down onto the sand next to you and his cold skin brushed yours for a second before you flinched away and groaned.

“Yeah but I think Jaeyun’s brother is gonna make us leave any second anyways.” You were scrunching your nose up as you looked over at him and he smiled up at you.

Heeseung always seemed to be smiling but especially in your direction.

You weren’t an idiot and you didn’t at all miss the fact that he was extra attached to you. You had a deeper bond than anybody else in the group and even though you weren’t exactly sure when the transition into something deeper happened, you were sure you both could feel it constantly bubbling under the surface.

It wasn’t something you felt like you needed to confess or say out loud officially because you had all the time in the world here with him.

“Come swim with us.” He was watching you as your hand reached over to swipe the drying sand off his forehead.

“Not happening Hee sorry.” You smiled when he groaned and rolled over onto his back, knowing you had made up your mind by the tone in your voice. “We can always swim tomorrow.”

—

Tomorrow never came because the next morning you were racing down to the Lee house with a plate of cinnamon rolls Riki’s mom had made and finding it almost completely empty.

Your heart had dropped into your stomach but you still slowly approached the familiar door and knocked against it softly.

Typically you didn’t even bother knocking considering you were there more than your own house but something was off and you suddenly felt like an intruder.

The sight of his grandma opening the door and giving you a pained expression when she saw it was you almost fully killed you and if that didn’t do it then the fact she softly whispered to you that he wasn’t going to be coming back anytime soon definitely did.

It was hard not to grab her by the shoulders and demand she tell you where he had gone and it was even harder to hold in your sobs as you ran all the way back to the house next to yours, bursting into Riki’s living room and climbing into his bed to cry while you waited for him to get off work.

He’d barely understood you through your blubbering sobs and when he did he was joining you in the bed and falling into a hurt silence.

The hurt rippled through you for months until you gathered the courage to ask his grandma for his address so you could write him a letter.

She was clearly reluctant but she gave it to you anyways and you spent all week writing it and expressing to him how you felt, both for him and about the fact he had left without saying goodbye. You wished she’d turned you down when it got sent right back unopened and the same thing happened for the next twenty after that.

You kept writing them for two years even though they’d always make their way back to the post office and at the end of that summer, you finally put the pen down.

At some point during the third year you’d gotten a postcard that had no writing on it or even a signature. It was just a blank card with a photo of some cartoonish cherry blossoms and a small river.

You somehow knew it was from him without any confirmation and you wept like a baby in the middle of all the mailboxes, hugging it to your chest and swearing you’d never let yourself feel like that again. You almost sent it back to him like he’d done to you for so long but instead you stuffed it under your pillow and tried to not feel it’s weight every night you slept.

Now four years later he was suddenly everywhere again.

He’d started to work at the surfboard rental shop across from your own place and he was practically at every single hangout like nothing had changed.

Except everything had changed and he was such a jarringly different person that you almost felt like you were hanging out with the corpse of your old friend.

“We’ve gotta get you some sun man.” Jake was disguising his concerns with some light teasing one of the days you all made your way up to Sunghoon’s place but you all knew Heeseung and his current state was the constant elephant in the room.

“Yeah.” His noncommittal low mumbling was about the most you got out of him these days and you sighed from where you were laying on the couch.

His empty gaze landed on you when you were standing up and pushing Sunghoon’s legs off of you (much to his annoyance). You approached him and stuck your hand out in his direction just to be met with a raised eyebrow and no movement.

“Cmon let’s go.” You were firm in your words and shaking your hand slightly to urge him to take it in his before you got too impatient. He sighed at you but did exactly that and you pushed aside the warmth that spread you in favor of pulling him up so he was standing.

You were slightly thrown off by how close he ended up next to you so you took a step back while raking over his tall frame and clearing your throat.

“I’m sick of your moping.” You didn’t expect him to continue holding your hand after you pulled him up but you took advantage of the opportunity and started to tug him behind you as you walked towards the doors.

Heeseung stayed silent as you dragged him outside and down the long sandy steps that led down the hillside and onto the small private beach that the park family owned. You never hung out there much as kids considering you weren’t allowed to surf here and you preferred the large waves and active community of the public one but it would do for now.

“What are we doing?” He was finally speaking once you dropped his hand and turned to look at him.

“Going swimming obviously.” You were pulling your shirt over your head the second you finished speaking so you just barely saw his reaction to your hands grabbing the bottom hem.

It was long enough that you managed to watch his eyes widen and drop down to the sudden skin showing but he somehow was able to have a blank expression again by the time you got it off and tossed it onto the sand carelessly.

You’d turned to walk closer to the water but you stopped and looked over your shoulder when you realized he wasn’t following you anymore.

“Cmon.” Your thumbs pushed down the hem of your shorts to showcase the rest of your bikini and now you heard him scoff a laugh as the water touched your ankles.

The water was unusually cold from the few cloudy days you’d had but you were determined now to get him to have some fun and open up a little bit before he really started to bum the rest of you out.

You fought your smile when you heard light splashing behind you and when you finally turned around you were thrown off by the amount of pale skin you were seeing. Obviously you knew he’d have to take off his shirt to get in the water but you were mainly stuck on the changes to his body.

He’d clearly filled out, something you could have guessed from the height, and now he looked surprisingly strong unlike his lanky frame he had when you were younger. Outfit of his ribs slightly showing, he definitely had some muscle definition that you looked away from immediately.

Your eyes landed on what was even more jarring and he surprisingly didn’t shy away when you scanned over the bruising covering his stomach and sides.

You met his gaze for just a second and he just stood there with the light ripples hitting his belly button.

“Get into some trouble?” Your question was light and almost teasing so he had room to ignore you. You didn’t want to bombard him for answers especially since it wasn’t really your place anymore.

If this had been four years ago, you would have wrapped him up in your arms and demanded to know who possibly could have hurt him but that boy wasn’t here anymore. He definitely wasn’t the cold one standing in front of you.

“Something like that.” His response was as uncharacteristic as you expected it to be and you simply nodded your head before waiting for him to catch up to you.

He was up to his chest now in the water and you were starting to struggle to stay afloat which seemed to amuse him if the quirk of his lips told you anything.

“Isn’t this nice?” Your voice was quieter now and you almost face palmed at how nervous and unnatural you sounded.

Heeseung was just watching you like you were the one who had changed but there was something heavy in his eyes now. You almost flinched at the feeling of his warm leg brushing yours under the water once he was finally starting to relax and float a little but you managed to collect yourself.

He hummed in agreement but you could tell he was just doing it to give you the answer he knew you wanted to hear.

You wondered if the cold water felt good on his bruises or if you were just making him feel worse by trying to help.

“Surprised you didn’t bring the others.” He was talking again surprisingly and now he was fully floating on his back with his gaze set on the sky and the colors of the setting sun. “Since you and Sunghoon are so close now.”

The jealous tone of his voice was not something you were used to and you didn’t realize he could sound even less like himself until he proved you wrong.

Heeseung and you had always been each others number ones and he’d never had to doubt his position in your life before but it made you blood boiling mad that he had such an accusatory tone now like you’d done something wrong.

Did he expect you to sit around and mope forever, holding out hope that he’d maybe decide to return one day despite not even knowing where he’d gone?

“We’ve always been close Heeseung. We all are.” Your voice was stable despite how the opposite you felt and something unsaid was being heard loudly in your choice of words.

For the first time since he came back, you were blatantly excluding him from the group. None of you were teenagers anymore and you’d been through a decade of stories and experiences just in the last few years as you transitioned into adults.

Maybe the sight of him now, grown up and empty, wouldn’t have hurt so bad if you watched it happen slowly instead of all at once. Maybe it wouldn’t have happened this way at all and he would have been a totally different person with your influence.

You immediately felt guilty and gross for giving yourself that much credit.

“It’s different now though.” He seemed set in his idea that you and Sunghoon had some secret deeper bond and you didn’t even try to argue with him this time.

“You’re different.” The response you settled with was pretty petty and he seemed to agree judging by the way he scoffed but he was sitting up and moving a tad closer to you in the water.

“Yeah well you’re exactly the same.” He said it so simply that you couldn’t tell if it was meant to be an insult, compliment or simply just an observation. He was either calling you immature or making a callback to how your relationship used to be.

You figured it was the latter when his hand was brushing against your waist under the water.

“Not all of me.” Your voice had gotten lower now as you realized the mood was shifting to something you’d not experienced with him before.

You’d always found Heeseung attractive obviously but he was so young and you weren’t exactly the age either where you were thinking about him in this way. Sure, he’d been touchy back then with his hand in yours or an arm around your waist as you walked together but never with this look in his eye.

It felt wrong to have him shifting even closer to you, bare chest and his wet hair almost covering his eyes as he stared down due to your newfound height difference.

Mainly the wrong feeling came due to the fact that you barely knew him now and you didn’t want to get to know him like this. You wished it had happened naturally, your friendship had returned when he did and so did your comfortability and maybe eventually the love buried deep in your chest.

But you were so desperate to feel something from him, anything that might indicate he had once cared about you. So you didn’t push him away when he leaned down to kiss you.

His mouth was hot against yours and suddenly all of the teasing touches and heavy glances made a lot more sense.

He had a desperation you didn’t expect and your head was spinning by the time he was pulling you even closer by your waist and slotting his knee in between your legs under the water.

“Hee.” You breathed out his name as he licked into your mouth and he shushed you impatiently, not wanting to give you the chance to stop him before he’d even gotten to really have you.

You weren’t going to and your hips were rolling against his leg, the water hitting higher up on your stomach and making you gasp from the cold and how it splashed over your covered chest.

He seemed to notice considering he was impatiently pulling the fabric of your bikini top away from your skin and you moaned when his mouth was leaving yours in favor of hungrily connecting with your hard nipples. The warmth of his mouth made you spin and you held the back of his head against your chest.

His knee was rocking under you and you kept grinding yourself down on it, free hand wrapping around his back and feeling the muscles clench everytime he moved himself towards you.

“Hee.” you gasped out his name again and this time he atleast hummed in acknowledgement, big hands gripping your waist and forcing you to keep moving against him.

“Cmon y/n, stop fucking talking.” His mouth was back on yours and this time it was you who immediately licked into his closed lips, the sound of his low voice spurring you on even more.

He was lifting you out of the water and your legs wrapped around his waist so you wouldn’t fall. You didn’t even realize he’d be strong enough to lift you but he seemed to have no problem as he started walking towards the shore and you rolled your hips into his hard on that you could now feel pressing against you.

Your mouth parted when you felt how hard he was already and he laid you gently down onto the sand before climbing ontop of you and kissing you again.

This time his body was covering you and you whined when his hips lowered down on yours.

He was sitting up for only a second so he could finish untying your bathing suit and tugging it off of you and you watched as his eyes locked hungrily on your bare chest while you panted heavily.

Your eyes were big and wanting as you stared up at him and the sight was almost too much so he went back to kissing you deeply.

His body was still just as wet as yours and the feeling of his hot skin warming up what the water had cooled was almost as addicting as the way he rolled his hips down slowly.

“Fuck y/n.” He was groaning into your neck and you inhaled at the way he was biting the skin and definitely leaving marks on you. “Used to be mine remember?”

You were shaking your head in disagreement but the way you were rocking your hips and holding onto the back of his head was very telling, you might as well have had his name carved on you.

“Gonna make you mine again.”

Heeseung was pushing your bathing suit bottoms to the side and playing with the waistband of his before impatiently shoving them down onto his thighs. You were both hurt by his impatience and extremely turned on by the fact he was about to take you on the beach without even fully undressing you.

“Tell me you want it.” His tongue licked up to your ear and you gasped at the feeling of his thick head pressing against your wetness, your legs spreading automatically for him.

“Want it. Want it Hee.” You were breathing heavily and trying to fuck yourself down on him even though it was pointless considering how strong his grip on your waist was, pinning you down against the sand and feeling the way you arched up into him when he started to push himself inside.

The slide was easy and your cry was loud enough that you almost worried the other boys would be able to hear you.

“Fucking tight.” His voice was strained as he spat the words through gritted teeth and you clenched around him at the praise, wanting to make him feel as good as he was so easily doing to you. “Perfect pussy for me, sliding right in. So wet y/n.”

His constant use of your name made you feel even more insane and you whined louder when he bottomed out inside you. Heeseung didn’t waste any time before he was starting to roughly fuck into you and it was exactly what you needed after years of pent of anger and emotions.

“Fuck me hard Hee.” You begged him through your cries and he gladly delivered exactly what you needed, slamming his hips against yours so fast it was painful. “Fucking hate you.”

“Hate you so much.” His rebuttal was quick and he caught your mouth in a rough kiss as he spoke, teeth hitting yours making you wince in pain.

“Show me. Fuck me like you hate me.”

He was doing what you asked without any question and you almost broke from how much you could feel it radiating off of him, hate and anger stemming from something you didn’t even understand.

Then it was over before you even processed it started and you were both left panting on the sand as the sun finished setting and the sand underneath you dried.

Heeseung was rolling away from you to land on his back with a grunt and your entire body shivered when you felt his arm pressing against yours and giving you a little bit of warmth that barely made up for how cold you felt all over.

Everything surrounding you was cold now and him not saying a single world just made it ten times worse.

You were hit with shame and guilt tenfold and tears were springing to yours eyes before you could stop them. You vaguely heard him shifting next to you and sniffing loudly, your head turning to him.

Your eyes grew in size when you saw he’d dug something out of his discarded shirts pocket and was sitting up with his head turned away from you like it would make what he was doing any less obvious.

“Are you fucking kidding me right now?” Your voice was low and venomous and your hands uncomfortably went to cover your chest as you sat up and scooted away from him. “You’re getting high?”

He didn’t even look over at you as he cleared his burning throat and shoved whatever the small capsule was back into his crumbled up shirt. The sight of him rolling his eyes like you were annoying him almost made you just sink into the ocean and disappear.

“Get dressed before they come down here and find you like that.” He was standing up as he spoke again and you hated that the tears were fully falling now, hot on your flushed cheeks.

Your shaking hands did their best to tie up your bikini top and he finally looked down at where you were still sitting on the sand and sobbing. You weren’t sure he could see the tears considering how dark it was now but when he turned his face away with a cold expression you knew that he had.

Heeseung was pulling his shift over his head and hesitating for just a few seconds while looking at the stairs back up to the house, almost like he was considering leaving you there.

“Who even are you?” You weren’t sure how you managed to speak so strongly through your cries but he clearly felt the impact of it as he tensed up and his jaw locked.

“Does it matter?”

——

After you’d gotten dressed you had stormed past him up the steps only after slamming your shoulder into his side and steeling your expression. He gave you a few seconds before he was following you up but he didn’t come inside when you got up there.

You’d gone up to Riki and quietly asked him if he could take you home, cold hands shaking as they gripped his wrist and eyes still swollen.

The other boys were silent when they saw the state of you and you just hoped they couldn’t guess what had happened, shame hitting you hard at even the idea of them finding out how you’d just been used and discarded so easily.

You sat there the entire car ride back to town with your head half out the window and the warm summer air doing it’s best to stop the tears from rolling down your face.

Riki didn’t ask you any questions and you were grateful when he pulled into his own driveway and not yours, not even realizing how much you didn’t want to go home until you saw your front door and felt the nausea building.

It was unspoken that he let you rot in the bed in the spare room for the first few days and by day three Jake was rubbing your back softly and trying to get you to eat something.

Sunghoon came and went constantly and you spent most nights with him laying beside you, not touching or speaking but just having him there. You weren’t sure if they’d figured it out or if Heeseung told them but something in you knew that they knew what happened.

You started to feel slightly better after a week of moping and letting yourself finally feel the heartbreak that’d be been building for so many years and after two weeks you were back to work.

If you spent more your shift looking out the window to try to get a glimpse of him in the shop across the street then that was your own personal secret.

He was still somebody you cared about as frustrating as that was but it still made you sick that you started to worry when you hadn’t seen him for a few weeks.

It had been almost a month since that night on the beach and you no longer could assume he was just avoiding you. The town was too small and you would have run into by now regardless if you wanted that or not so he’d either been completely isolating himself or he was gone again and you weren’t sure which one of those hurt you more.

“He’s still here.” Sunghoon’s voice was low next to your ear as you laid in his bed this time, giving Riki and his family a break even though he insisted they didn’t need or want one.

You still wanted to come up here with Sunghoon even though it was a bit hard considering what had happened last time but you figured it was hard for him to be in such a big house all by himself now that his dad wasn’t coming anymore.

“Did you talk to him?” You were rolling onto your stomach and looking at him with wide eyes and he sighed softly as he studied the hope on your face.

“Not really.” He was mumbling now and the pout your lips formed almost made him feel sick. “Just for a second. I was skating past his place.”

You were nodding in understanding but you felt weirdly settled that he hadn’t gone anywhere and he was seemingly here to stay despite how it always felt like he was trying his hardest to get away from you all. You should have get the times worse that he was around and you had a change to run into him sooner than later but you were an idiot at heart.

“He doesn’t deserve you being sad for him, you know that right?” Your hair was being pushed behind your ear by Sunghoon’s hand and you watched him as he stared.

He looked vulnerable and it made sense considering he was not the type of person to say things like that to anybody, especially not to you. Your heart hurt hearing it from somebody else but you gave a soft nod anyways despite not at all agreeing with what he was saying.

“I mean it. You’re like… the best thing any of us could even begin to imagine and he acts like you’re going to stay no matter how he treats you. He’s always been like that, you just didn’t want to see it.”

Your face fell as he kept talking and getting more and more upset. You’d had no idea he felt this way or even noticed things like that and you hated that you started to think about what Heeseung had insinuated before on the beach.

It made you feel overly warm to consider that Sunghoon might have some type of feelings towards you and yet here he was, laying in bed with you for days and comforting you after you let some asshole break your heart for the thousandth time.

“I’m not going to let him do that to me anymore Hoon.” You heard your voice as it came out and heard how obvious the lie was, knowing he did too when he was just blankly staring at you.

“You love him.” His response was curt but it hit you full force and you tried your best not to let any visible reaction show. “You chose him a long time ago.”

You weren’t sure if he was talking about you choosing Heeseung over yourself and your own well-being or if he was once again saying what you think he might have been.

The guilt coursed through you when you were laying your head down on his chest and listening to how fast his heartbeat started to pulse but you couldn’t look at his honest face anymore and the conversation needed to end before it was all too much.

It was only building more when the next morning you were writing him a note letting him know you’d be back soon before hitching a ride back into town.

You spent the entire hour it took getting to Heeseung’s house both trying to gather the courage to go through with your idea and also trying to talk yourself out of it, reaching a peak of panic when you were knocking softly on his door.

He took a long time to open and just as you were about to turn around and leave, there he was.

Standing in the doorway that you’d seen him in close to a thousands times but looking so different that it felt brand new. He didn’t look surprised to see you on his porch and that made you feel even shittier.

“You okay?” He surprised you with the question and how genuine it sounded but you kept your face flat.

“Are you okay?” You emphasized the word and shifted uncomfortably in place until he was stepping aside and letting you in the small house. “The boys are worried about you.”

If he knew you were lying than he didn’t mention it and you took a second to glance around the living room.

Not much had changed about it besides the numerous boxes that were either still unpacked or in the process of being put back away. You didn’t want to ask him and when you met his eyes again you could tell he didn’t want to answer.

“Well I’m fine.” His answer finally came and he was biting the inside of his cheek like he was trying not to say something.

He was such a mystery to you that it was genuinely started to get under your skin. He looked at you like you’d done something so terrible to him and you had absolutely no idea what was bothering him so much, especially since he was the one who had left you.

“You’re fine?” Your voice was flat and bitter and he nodded stiffly to which you scoffed and rubbed your face in annoyance. “So you don’t want to talk about it? You don’t think we should?”

“Go talk to Sunghoon if you want someone to talk emotions with.” His gaze was fiery on you and you almost flinched away from it like it really could have burned you.

You stared at him dumbfounded for a few breaths and the air in the living room was so tense you worried the walls would collapse from it. He actually looked slightly regretful after he said it which shocked you but it didn’t really matter since it was already in your head now.

Heeseung was taking a deep breath and running a hand through his hair before looking at you one more time.

“I’ll get dressed and we can go.” You didn’t respond to him and your hurt stare was clearly making him uncomfortable. “Is that okay?”

You waited just a few more seconds before you were giving him a curt nod and covering your mouth from the shock of the entire conversation and whatever was happening between the two of you.

He was turning to walk down the hallway to his room but stopping midway and giving you a glance over his shoulder like he was making sure you hadn’t left.

Your shoulders lost all tension the second he was out of sight and you leaned against the wall to help hold you up, proud of yourself for not running out or embarrassingly tearing up again.

It was quiet for a long time and you didn’t even want to begin to imagine what was taking him so long to throw on a simple outfit but you’d begun to wander around the house while you waited, ending up in the kitchen.

“Oh y/n.”

The soft voice calling out for you had your head turning swiftly and your eyes widened when you saw his mom standing in the doorway of the kitchen.

“Ms Lee.” You sounded astonished and you hoped she wasn’t too offended by the fact you were standing in her house with your sandals still covered in sand. “I didn’t know you were home. I’m sorry to barge in.”

“Always such a sweet girl.” She waved her hands at you like you were ridiculous for apologizing for such a small thing and your heart warmed when she crossed the room to hold your face gently. “You’re friends with my son again? I’ll take that as a good sign.”

You smiled lightly and just nodded at her, not having the nerve to tell her you weren’t exactly friends and he definitely wasn’t doing as well as the hope in her voice led you to believe she thought he was.

“You were always so good for him. He worried so much about you never forgiving him for leaving but you must understand it wasn’t his fault.” Her hands were warm on your face and you felt a lot of guilt as she spoke.

You weren’t exactly sure you were supposed to be hearing this so you didn’t ask her any questions or pry.

Heeseung must’ve heard his moms voice because he looked flustered by the time he came out of his room, barely pulling his shirt over his head as he crossed into the kitchen and looked between the two of you.

“Ma, what are you doing back?” His voice sounded overly similar to how it used to as he comfortably addressed her and the difference shocked you.

“Don’t make me sound like such a bother.” She was lightly scolding him before letting go of your face and you immediately missed the warmth of her hands and gaze. “I was just telling y/n how happy I am you two are together again.”

Your eyes widened at the same time his did and your face flushed bright red at the implication that she thought you and Heeseung were dating now, along with how she apparently had thought you’d been dating beforehand too.

“Oh relax you two. I just mean together as in the same space.” She laughed and waved her hands in dismissal again but you definitely didn’t relax. “Where is he taking you?”

It took you a few seconds to realize she was addressing you and your mouth parted in silence, fumbling for an answer since you didn’t actually know where he was planning for the two of you to go.

“It’s a surprise Ma.” His voice was gentle and so was the kiss he laid on the side of her head, her eyes shutting happily as he kissed her teeth and rubbed him on his shoulder. “But we’ve gotta get going.”

She was shooing you away without another word and giving you a heavy glance that you didn’t really understand, following behind Heeseung as he led you out back through the side entrance that came out onto their driveway.

“Oh holy shit. You still have this thing?” You were curling your nose up at the sight of the old beat up pickup truck that his grandpa used to drive you all around in.

You always got the luxury of sitting on one of the other two seats inside since you were the only girl but all the boys had a blast everytime they had to pile into the bed and feel the wind drying them off as you drove home from the beaches and waterfalls.

Heeseung’s grandpa had died when you were about twelve and the truck sat in the driveway for many years until his grandma was giving him the keys for his 16th birthday, a wink and a swift warning before sending him off to pick you all up.

“I still remember you outside my house blaring on the horn.” You were smiling to yourself as you went around the front so you could climb into the passenger side, feeling the rough leather.

He was getting in a second after you and you tried your best to stare as he situated himself and cleared his throat before putting the truck into drive.

Your gaze on him made him glance your way as he was backing out but it barely lasted a blink before he was looking away.

You waited an hour before you were speaking again, spending the entire time with the windows down and the sound of the loud wind filling up whatever silence the old radio left. It was playing some tape his grandpa had left behind and his hands were tapping the steering wheel in time with it.

It felt the most like your old times with him than anything else had so far and you had to remind yourself that things were still different.

You may have taken this drive with him a dozen times but things had changed. His hand wasn’t on your knee drawing shapes and your eyes weren’t bright and filled with love as you laughed and yelled over the music together.

That picture was a lot warmer than what reality was and you glanced over at him again.

The mountains were stretching behind his side profile now that you were farther away from town than you usually went and he looked so relaxed and calm that you almost felt bad for ruining the silence.

“Are you going to tell me where we’re going anytime soon?” You were turning your body so your back was against the car door and your legs were curled into the middle seat, a few inches from the side of his thigh.

He didn’t answer you right away and you scoffed in annoyance at his audacity to just ignore you straight to your face like he hadn’t been the one to invite you here. You crossed your arms over your chest and looked away from him in upset but he was pulling onto the side of the road and parking the car before you could get really mad.

You sat there for a few seconds while he gripped the steering wheel and you took the time to glance around the area.

It was a long dirt road with a lot of thick trees and bushy areas, no other cars or parking lots in site. You were beyond confused and if it was anyone else with you then you’d even feel a little scared but despite Heeseung feeling like a stranger, he wasn’t one.

“Are you okay with walking a bit?” His voice was low when he finally spoke and you noticed he sounded similar to how he did while talking to his mom earlier, your heart tugging at how casual he was being towards you after weeks of hearing him sound so angry and empty.

“Y-yeah.” Your eyes widened at the sudden question and you felt embarrassed for stuttering even though he didn’t seem to care considering he was nodding and getting out of the truck. “Not a problem.” You mumbled to yourself before following him.

He was disappearing into the tree line and you would have been more confused if you didn’t see the faintest evidence of an old trail that had clearly been overgrown.

Heeseung was confident in his steps and every turn he took seemed like it was practiced so you quickly gathered that he knew exactly where he was and you wondered when he would have come out here enough to be this knowledgeable about it.

You were together pretty much all the time as kids and as far as you knew he hadn’t gone anywhere since coming back to town so his mystery was just growing even more to you.

You’d been walking for about twenty minutes with just the sounds of snapping sticks and the wind rustling the trees before it was opening up to reveal a small waterfall and a pond amongst the trees.

The bank was completely made up of rocks and fallen tree logs, something completely different than the sandy shores you were used to. You could tell right away this wasn’t a place for swimming but you just kept following him as he hopped onto the large boulders before eventually sitting on one.

You watched the side of his face as you waited for him to explain and he just watched the view with a slightly pained expression.

“Can you… can you not look at me.” His first words hit you hard and you flinched at the rough tone he’d taken on again. “Please it just will make this easier.”

Although confused, you nodded and opted for instead staring at the way your feet were dangling over the open water. Your thighs were burning from the rough edge of the boulder and the height you were sat at was slightly intimidating but you willed yourself to not look at him no matter how much you wanted to.

“I came here the day that I left. Stole the truck and ran out of the house even though my mom was practically tripping over herself in the driveway trying to get me to stop. I think she thought if I went I wouldn’t come back.” He took a break for you to process what he was telling you and the last sentence hit you hard.

You knew he loved his mom and hearing about her fear and what actually went down the day they moved away was almost too much and you considered asking him to stop talking.

Instead you clenched your hand onto the cold boulders surface and waited for him to keep going.

“It was a world of things that don’t matter anymore, never fucking matter but I need you to understand how much I regret it.” You could feel him looking at you now.

“I should have said goodbye to you and I should’ve answered your letters but I knew I’d come back the second I heard a single word from you and I couldn’t leave her alone. She needed me and I figured you’d be okay with the others. You’d hate me but you’d be okay.”

His voice was getting shakier and you couldn’t resist looking at him anymore although he didn’t look upset that you had done so, his hand stretching the distance between you so he could grip your hand that was practically clawing at the stone.

You squeezed his warm hand tight in yours as you sniffled and the tears built up quickly when you saw how nervous he looked.

“And I’m so fucking sorry for what I did to you at Sunghoon’s.” He grit his teeth as he said it like it pained him to remember and your stomach turned uncomfortably, almost feeling sick at the memory of how shut off he had been now. Especially comparing it to the way he was looking at you now. “I was angry at myself and took it out on you. It was fucking disgusting.”

A sob hit you at that and you don’t know if him scooting closer made you feel better or worse but you leaned into him anyways and felt your heart calm at the way he wrapped his arms around you.

“Y/n I don’t regret it okay? Just the way that it happened but you know… I-I hope you know that I’ve always-“ He sighed and stopped talking like he couldn’t find the words and you wiped your face quickly.

You leaned away from him just enough to get a good look at his face and he looked panicked like he didn’t know how you were going to respond.

“You’re not high right now right?”

His face fell in hurt at your question before it was turning into understanding and guilty, the shake of his head not doing nearly enough to lessen your worries which he quickly seemed to notice because he was leaning closer and making sure you could see him when he spoke.

“I’m not high I promise you. I haven’t been since that night on the beach.” He sounded genuine and you would have believed him before but you didn’t know him now and he easily could’ve been lying to you. “How can I help you know that?”

The desperation in his question and expression made him look so much younger and another sob hit you as you started to see him for who he was.

Not some corpse like imposter who had moved back to town and taken the identity of your old friend and lover but just a lost and confused Heeseung who had clearly gone through something you didn’t understand yet.

So when you kissed him it wasn’t for any other reason this time, it wasn’t because you just wanted to feel that he was actually there or because you thought there was no other way to be close to him again but it was because you wanted him to know that you believed him and you were patient.

You’d been patient and you’d continue to be because Sunghoon had been right when he said you always loved Heeseung and you’d constantly choose him.

Something in you told you that this time he’d do his best to choose you too, his hands holding your face so gently and his thumbs swiping soothingly over your cheeks to rid you of the constant stream of tears despite his own wetting his face too.

You weren’t even really sure what you were crying for.

If it was for the pain he’d put you through or the pain he was dealing with himself. Maybe it was because of the lost time and the years you could’ve spent together or the relief at not having to experience his absence again, something beautiful in the way you were holding each other and sharing the grief of what could have been.

You could only hope that what will be would be worth every tear in the end.

[jeneveuxrein]

needy (BLACKPINK Rosé)

word count: 3.3K

(i'm a bit rusty, lol)

You hear an exaggerated sigh behind you. You ignore it, choosing instead to smirk at your screen as your team continues with its quest. 

Your online friends would call you a complete idiot for not doing what you should be doing versus what you’re actually doing. 

It wasn’t intentional. 

At least on your end, it wasn’t. 

Well, to an extent. 

You shouldn’t be focused on finding this stupid shield Jungkook read about from a gaming article with this new update. 

You should, however, give all of your attention to the woman laying on your bed. 

But it’s not that simple. 

See, the thing is, when you meet someone as famous as Park Chaeyoung, or Rosé, or your favorite Rosie or Chaeng, there are rules you’ve established to make this relationship work.

Rule number one: no one can know unless it’s disclosed to her company. Privacy and all that, not only for her, but for you as well. 

Rule number two: you specifically aren’t allowed to date anyone else. The rule applies to her because you are officially together, like boyfriend-girlfriend kind of together, but she likes having so-called power over you. 

Rule number three: if you’re in each other’s presence, undivided attention is a must. Time is precious for the both of you after all. She has a hectic schedule that takes her all over the world while your line of work has you constantly troubleshooting to make sure everything runs smoothly. 

So it was a surprise when Rosie showed up at your apartment a little before midnight without a heads up. She knew what you were doing this evening, but you hadn’t heard from her since morning. You, being you, figured she had an event or a rehearsal or something that kept her occupied. Not that you weren’t involved in her life, but her schedule constantly changed. It was hard for you to keep up. 

Rosie lets out another exaggerated sigh that it actually distracts you, causing your character to die in this part of the quest. 

“Dude seriously?” Jungkook’s voice is in your headphones, chuckling. “You of all people dying to that?” 

“Shut up,” Is all you say, swiveling your chair around to your girlfriend dressed in more comfortable clothes than what she arrived in—your clothes specifically. She has a habit of rummaging through your drawers. Not that you minded, she looks hot in whatever she wears. There was just something about her wearing your clothes that had you feeling some type of way. You mute your mic, double checking it is in fact muted before asking, “Everything alright?” 

“I’m over and my boyfriend won’t spend time with me,” Rosie huffs out, crossing her arms. 

“If I knew you were coming over, I wouldn’t have logged on,” You roll your eyes, glancing at the screen to thirty seconds left before you respawned. 

“I called,” Rosie glares. Someone else might’ve folded under her gaze, but it doesn’t intimidate you. 

“And my phone was in the living room,” You say, slightly apologetic, but the respawn sound plays that has you turning back to the screen. 

“Yeah yeah, play your stupid game,” Rosie mutters, which you hear loud and clear while the rest of the guys talk about their day. 

See, meeting Rosie was pure chance, a deal of the hand you weren’t expecting. Your gaming company drove the development of her group’s mobile game and when it was time to launch, the members of BLACKPINK were there.

At the time, you were just one of the developers since you had more of a managerial role and took it last minute. You were overseeing the game’s development more than anything, giving your two cents as needed, but were hands off for the most part. 

According to Rosie, as she told you during your first date, you were indifferent to meeting them as opposed to everyone else on the team who brought merch for them to sign. She noticed you before the other three girls did, and made sure she personally introduced herself to you. 

Rosie’s beautiful. You’re not blind. You get the appeal. You guessed it was that you treated them like normal people instead of idols that had most of your coworkers swooning in their presence.  

She’s also clingy, not that you minded. She’s slowly told you about her past relationships–lies, cheating, using her. It left wounds of insecurity that have made her feel unsure of who she could trust her heart with. 

One drunken night after spending it at Jennie’s, tangled in your sheets, Rosie told you she felt safe with you. 

Though, as of this moment, you sense the irritation rolling off of her. 

“What the fuck?” The controller falls into your lap when you see Rosie suddenly beside you. 

“You good over there?” Tae asks. 

“Yeah, I just gotta mute myself for a sec, my girlfriend’s calling me,” You mute the mic again, grabbing the controller before turning to Rosie. “What?” 

“I’m bored,” Rosie states simply. 

“And you want to watch me play?” 

“Can I?” You raise an eyebrow, knowing her too well that she’s up to something. 

“Did you want me to grab you a-” Rosie doesn’t let you finish, opting to sit in your lap. “Okay fine, no funny business.” 

Rosie shrugs, settling comfortably against you as you unmute yourself, “Sorry.”

“Are you in trouble?” Jungkook jokes. Your friends know of your girlfriend, but you have yet to give any information on her. Again, privacy and all that. 

“No, she’s just being needy,” That earns you a slap on the arm and a glare.

Your friends laugh, which Rosie hears, slapping your thigh this time. You squeeze her body with your arms before resting your chin on her shoulder as you continue playing. 

Time goes by, Rosie starts squirming in your hold. She was never one to sit still. You let go and she tilts her head back onto your shoulder before she relaxes against your chest. It’s nice being with her like this. She comes over often, but not often enough. 

You haven’t seen her in almost two weeks. The group just finished their last leg of their tour before their encore performances begin. They have a show in France in a couple weeks, which you’ll be joining them. She asked if you wanted to go with them to the states so you could visit your mother in San Francisco. You had to check with your boss, but it was likely you’d be going as well. 

Rosie mutes your mic, “Are you almost done?” 

“Not really,” She sighs against your body. “What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing,” Rosie pouts, but she does something you were expecting. She slightly rolls her hips. It’s subtle, but it’s enough. 

“Chaeng,” You deadpan, eyes still focused on the screen. 

“What?” There it is. The tilt in her voice, that if it was anybody else, they’d fall for her feigned innocence. 

But it wasn’t anybody else. It was you. 

“Don’t,” Rosie rolls her hips against you again, this time, perfectly against your cock. “Chaeng.” 

“I’m just trying to get comfortable, you’re not exactly ergonomic,” Rosie shrugs, rocking her hips against you once again. 

Your cock stirs at the movement. You take a deep breath, refocusing yourself as your team continues the quest. 

Tae asks you a question, forcing you to reach around Rosie to unmute yourself. “Yeah I’ll check that.” 

When you mute once again, Rosie asks, “How quiet can you be?”

“What?” The question catches you off guard because Rosie’s standing up and unmutes you. She turns to smirk and drops to her knees in between your legs. Your eyes widen, shocked at her boldness. You’re about to say something when she holds a finger to her lips. 

“Fuck,” You groan into the mic when Rosie slips her hand underneath your sweats, wrapping her hand around your half-hard cock. 

“What happened?” You barely hear someone ask. 

“Nothing,” You grit out, eyes watching Rosie push your sweats down just enough to free your cock. You let out a hiss as the cool air of your apartment hits your skin. “I’m good.” 

She starts off slow, moving a loose fist up and down your length as the blood in your body rushes south. By the time you’re fully erect, she lets go, and you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. 

Rosie’s face lights up, and you know that look. It spells trouble with a capital T, and when she stands up in between your legs, pulling her (your) boxers down, you have a clear picture of what’s going to come next. 

It was meant to be a joke when you mentioned it on FaceTime while they were touring in Australia. You had this fantasy of her keeping your cock warm while you gamed. She asked if you actually wanted that, knowing how much you took gaming with your friends seriously. You shrugged, off-handedly commenting that you thought it would be hot. 

You didn’t go into much detail of how you envisioned it. It was just a fantasy, but when Rosie turns around, her shapely bottom waving in your face, this was so much better than what you imagined. 

Rosie mutes you again, her face slightly turned to you, “Still want to play your game?” 

It’s a challenge. A very dangerous one that you don’t know the outcome of, but you’d bet everything to find out. Even if that meant you have to fuck Rosie against your desk for being this needy. 

“Yeah,” Your voice comes out hoarse, hardly recognizable in your ears. 

“Fine.” One hand rests on your desk as the other reaches for your cock, angling it as she takes all of you in one smooth move. 

“Jesus Chaeng,” You nearly drop your controller as one hand shoots to her hip, gripping tightly as her walls squeeze around your cock. It knocks the wind out of you, feeling just how wet and warm she is.

“Isn’t this what you wanted?” Rosie slightly pants, leaning on your desk as you feel her walls stretch to accommodate your size.

“I don’t know,” You pathetically moan out as she sits up straight against your chest. 

“Keep playing,” Rosie unmutes you before slowly rocking her hips. 

You don’t know how the fuck you were supposed to focus when she feels so fucking good wrapped around you, but you push through. 

You tune in to what your friends are talking about, ignoring the small mewls Rosie lets out as her hips move in a circle on top of you. You try to be engaged, commenting here and there, but it’s hard to care what they’re saying. 

You close your eyes, dropping your head against the chair when Rosie lifts her hips along your length before dropping her weight against you. 

“Fuck,” You mutter, but it’s loud enough for your friends to hear. They ask if everything’s alright and you immediately snap back to the screen as Rosie repeats the movement again and again and again. “Yeah, I’m fine,” You grit out after she lands on a particularly hard thrust, walls tightening as she takes a breath. 

You’d give yourself a pat on a back for how far you’ve made it. The amount of self-control you have when it comes to your girlfriend is usually very low. You don’t need much convincing when it comes to having sex, but you want to hold out as much as possible to see where it takes you. 

It’s not everyday Rosie uses your cock to fuck herself. She has, but that’s usually on a bed or in your car, where she has your full, undivided attention.

Rosie brings your hands against her lower stomach, resting the controller against her as she undulates her hips. Any vibration from the game has her body reacting, which by default, you reap the benefits. 

Rosie reaches forward, the mic turning off once again, “I’m going to cum,” She moans out. 

You didn’t think she’d get there that fast, but it is hot to get fucked while your friends are oblivious to what’s going on. She loves performing for thousands of people at a time, but you know her favorite performances are for you and you alone. 

“Go ahead baby,” You murmur, eyes watching where you’re connected, her hips hypnotizing you as they move. “Make yourself cum since you couldn’t wait for me.” 

The words set her off as her body quivers, shaking on your lap as her orgasm hits. Her head snaps back and she holds onto the arm rests as she tries to shut her thighs at the pressure inside her body. The only obstacle is your hands and controller dropping, keeping her spread open as you feel a sudden wetness cover your sweats. 

“Did you just squirt baby?” Your lips ghost over her skin, sweetly kissing her behind the ear. 

��No,” Rosie mumbles weakly, resting her head on your shoulder as she catches her breath. 

“No? Then why are my clothes soaked?” You thrust up from your chair, knocking the wind out of her as she lets out a filthy moan. 

“You came,” She moans as you rock up again, enjoying the sensation. 

You click your tongue, shaking your head as you decide you can’t hold back any longer. Keeping her on top of you, her walls snug and hot, you unmute for the last time, “Ayo, I gotta go.”

Rosie tries to stand, but your arms around her keep her still, filled. 

“Dude what? We’re nowhere near done,” Jungkook whines and you roll your eyes. 

“I realized I didn’t finish something. I can pass on the shield. I’ll log on again sometime this weekend,” You say curtly without giving them a chance to respond, quickly exiting the program before tossing your controller on the desk. 

You stand, easily taking your girlfriend with you as you push her forward, folding her against your desk as she rests on her elbows, back perfectly arched, keeping your bodies connected. 

“Baby,” Rosie whines, your cock still nestled deep inside her.

“Jesus fuck Chaeng,” You pull your hips back, looking at your cock covered in her slick. “You’re a fucking menace.” 

You snap your hips forward, groaning as your cock fills her.

“How else was I supposed to get your attention?” Rosie moans, pushing her ass towards you to take you even deeper. “You chose a game over me.” 

Your hands grip her waist, stopping any movement from her as you just breathe since both of you know what’s coming next. You lean forward, kissing her head, “Don’t act like that. You know you still have all of my attention.” 

You draw your hips backwards, but before you thrust, Rosie speaks, “Then fuck me like I do.”

Never one to not obey Rosie, you do just that. 

You thrust into her experimentally, getting your bearings before you completely lose it since it has been two weeks too long and the amount of dirty texts and pictures you’ve exchanged is never enough. 

“Baby please,” Rosie begs, head slightly turning before nodding. 

The control snaps and you’re thrusting wildly, her hips slamming against the desk, before she could react. 

One of the best parts, aside from you care deeply for and can genuinely share your thoughts and feelings with, is that Rosie always welcomes being fucked hard. Sure you’ve had sex at a much tamer, slower pace, which is just as great, but it’s the best when it’s been a while and the only thing either of you could focus on is tearing each other apart together. 

“Missed you so much,” Rosie whines, doing what she can to meet your thrusts. It isn’t much since you’re practically nailing her against the furniture. 

“Missed you too baby,” You groan as her walls start to clamp down to keep you inside. 

One hand lets go of her waist, raising it slightly before your palm makes contact with her ass cheek. She lets out a moan, pressing her face into her arms, slightly embarrassed by how her body reacts to the pain. You watch her skin slowly turn red, spurring you on even more. 

You feel your peaks coming soon just based on how much easier it is. Her pussy’s slickness lets you slide in and out with ease, but there’s another thing that Rosie loves and it’s how vocal you can get. 

Praise is all around her, but the praise she adores the most is when you tell her yourself. 

Your hand grips her waist again before you let your thoughts fall freely from your mouth. 

Fuck you feel so good baby. 

Couldn’t wait for me huh? Needed my cock so badly.

You look so pretty, letting me fuck this pussy.

You were so hot taking me while I played. 

Bounce on my cock next time, let my friends hear what a good little slut you are. 

Rosie screams as her orgasm rips through her body taking you with her. Your hips stutter into her and your vision goes white as you hit your climax. You couldn’t pull out since she was doing everything to keep you in. 

“Holy shit,” She moans out, back tensing as you feel her release over your cock, making a filthy mess as you paint her insides with your cum. 

You immediately wrap your arms around her stomach, pulling her into your chest as you groan out the remainder of your orgasm. 

It takes you a minute, but you collapse on your chair, the wheels slightly rolling backwards while Rosie falls flat on top of your desk. 

The sight of your girlfriend, fucked out, panting, has you questioning why you didn’t give your attention in the first place. You feel a second wind coming as the smallest bit of cum dribbles out in between her lower lips. 

“Can you go again?” You ask after a few minutes, staring as more of your cum falls out. You almost reach out to push it back in, but you spare her the overstimulation.

Rosie stands straight before turning to you. She bends to kiss you softly on the lips, sitting on your lap, and circling her arms around your neck. 

“Quick nap?” Rosie offers, peppering kisses over your jawline, which of course, immediately gets you worked up. 

“Fine,” You pout like a petulant child. 

You swoop your arms underneath her body, making sure you have a strong grip before standing. You literally have BLACKPINK’s lead singer in your arms, and any physical damage to her would automatically fall on you. 

Rosie giggles as she holds on, telling you not to drop her or the girls would come after you. You roll your eyes, knowing it’s an empty—sort of. The only member you’re actually scared of is Jisoo, while the other two are like the little sisters you never wanted. 

Once you gently lay your girlfriend down, you reach for the bottoms she was wearing, tossing it to her. You change into a different pair of sweats, noticing how much of a mess was actually made before joining her back in bed. 

“Hi,” You whisper, a small smile tugging at your lips as you stare at your girlfriend. You still couldn’t believe she chose you to date out of everyone else.

“Hi yourself,” Rosie smiles, burying her face into your chest. “I missed you.” It comes out soft, shy even, because feelings are still hard for her to put into words. 

“I missed you too,” You bring your lips to her forehead. 

There’s something else you want to tell her, something you’ve been holding in for a couple months at this point. You want to say it now, but when you hear light snores, you know it’s not the time. 

You say it anyway, “I love you.” 

--

--

--

[the-queen-of-hell-666]

She’s Perfect

Pairing: Eddie Munson x NewGirl!Fem!Reader

Word Count: 2.4k

Summary: You are new to Hawkins and decides to join the Hellfire club and Eddie finds you to be his dream girl. 

Warnings: explicit language, explicit sexual content (unprotected vaginal sex, vaginal sex, creampie, spanking, slight nipple play, riding), fluff, probably incorrect DnD references, soft!Eddie, lovesick!Eddie, slight!metalhead!Reader

a/n: Here is my first fic of the year! It took me forever because I have the worst writer’s block ever! Hope you enjoy! It’s probably a little cringy, lol.

Banner by @vase-of-lilies​

You were new to Hawkins and of course you had to move to a new school half way through your senior year. So now you knew no one and you were so lost in this fucking school. You tried to ask someone but they just kept walking or they scoffed and snickered as they walked past. You growled before slamming your locker shut and just rushed around till you found your first class and of course you were ten minutes late. Great, you were new and late. 

After your classes you heard some freshmen talking about a club, Hellfire, you think? It sounded like a D&D club and you loved D&D. You had your own club back in your hometown, you were their Dungeon Master and you loved playing and creating campaigns for your party. Your club was always filled with Freshmen and Sophomores and they were all so excited to play and you loved them, they were like your little family. So you decided to stop by Hellfire after school.

You walked down the quiet hall and towards the back room where Hellfire was supposed to be held. You took a deep breath before opening the door and all the talking in the room quieted down to silence and turned to you. You looked at the people around the room and they were all guys and at the head of the table was, you guessed, the game master. 

“Can I help you?” The game master asked you, you stopped to look at him, he had fluffy dark brown hair that went down to his shoulders and he had bangs, he was wearing silver rings all over his hands, he had on a leather jacket with a jean vest and a white shirt under it with Hellfire Club on the shirt. 

“Um, is this the Hellfire Club?” You asked as you froze like a deer in headlights. “I was looking to join.” 

There was a collective gasp around the room and Eddie stood up and placed his hands on the table. “You want to join us?” He asked with a hint of surprise to his voice.

“I mean, yeah.” You shrugged as you wrapped your arms around yourself.

“Do you have a character?” Eddie said after a few minutes of thinking and you nodded before grabbing your beat up D&D notebook. 

“Yeah. I’m a level 16 Druid, race Elf. But I was a Dungeon master for a couple of years so I’m a bit rusty.” You said as you opened the page to your character chart.

“That’s alright. We’re just starting a new campaign, I’ll help you. I’m Eddie, your dungeon master. This is Gareth, Kevin, Jeff, Mike, Dustin, and Lucas.” He said pointing to all the guys at the table. You smiled and waved as you introduced yourself before going to the empty chair at the end of the table but Eddie stopped you. “Come sit next to me just in case you need help.” He said before pushing Gareth’s shoulder so he would move down a seat. Gareth glared at Eddie but moved anyway and you sat next to Eddie at the head of the table. 

“Thanks.” You smiled as you sat in the seat and you set your notebook on the table and opened it. 

Then the campaign started, you immediately got the hang of it and fell into the spot as the most powerful character in the game. And well… the boys were not happy about that, Eddie was thrilled but the rest of the club glared at you, except Dustin who thought you were amazing. By the end of the club, you had practically carried them through the quests. The guys glared at you as they walked out of the drama room but Dustin stayed and talked very excitedly about how well you did. 

You smiled at the freshman as he talked and asked for help with learning new spells and working on the best way to level up his character. He smiled at you widely as you told him that you would love to help him and you jotted down your number for him. 

“Here, call me if you need help, okay?” You asked with a smile and he nodded before giving you a side hug and he left. Your heart warmed at how happy he looked when you told him that you would love to help him. You sighed with a smile and turned to Eddie, “Thank you for letting me play.” You smiled as you leaned against the table. 

Eddie chuckled as he packed up the game board. “Had to give you a chance.” He winked which made you giggle and you grabbed your bag. 

“Did I make the cut?” You asked with a playful smile on your lips and he hummed pretending to think about it. 

He crossed his arms as he thought about it, “Well, you did get them lost in the forest…” 

You scoffed, “That was Gareth’s fault and you know it.” You started as you leaned against the table. “I think I did pretty good, Munson.” 

“I’m just messing with you. Of course you did a good job and I would be honored to have you join us.” He smiled genuinely, making your heart skip a beat and you bit your lip.

“I would love that, Eddie. Thank you.” You smiled as you hopped off the table as you walked over to him. You pressed a soft kiss to his cheek, “I had a lot of fun. Thank you.” You whispered before you pulled away from him but Eddie gently grabbed your arm and pulled you to him. He leaned down and kissed you passionately as he cupped your cheek with his ring clad hand. You relaxed against his lips and kissed back deeply and you wrapped your arms around his waist and pulled him close. 

“You’re so fucking perfect.” He whispered against your lips making your heart skip a beat as he scooped you up and sat you on the table. You kissed him deeper as you tangled your fingers in his fluffy hair and his large hands grasped your hips tight and pulled you closer to him. “Knew from the second you walked in here, you were perfect. Dressed in that Judas Priest shirt and ripped black jeans, fuck, thought I was gonna bust my pants.” He chuckled as he rested his head against yours. 

“Glad I could make a good impression.” You winked as you claimed his lips with yours again and he picked you up before he walked over to his throne and he sat down with you in his lap. He pulled you close to his chest and you kissed him deeper as you ran your fingers through his hair. His hands ran under the back of your shirt and he caressed your skin softly, smiling as he felt you relax against his chest. 

“Is this okay?” He asked as he pulled away and the tips of his fingers played with the hem of your shirt. 

“Yeah, it’s more than okay.” You nodded as you bit your lip and let him pull off your shirt to reveal your black lace bra. He practically groaned at the sight and he trailed his hands up your chest and cupped your breasts through the fabric. He leaned down to kiss in between your breasts as his sweet brown eyes gazed up at you and you smiled softly at him. “God, you’re so fucking cute.” You huffed as you tucked his hair behind his ears. 

“You’re one to talk. Coming in here acting all shy even though you’re hiding this rockin’ body under these clothes.” He winked as he nipped at the tops of your breasts making you giggle softly. His hands reached behind you and unclipped your bra and tossed it somewhere and he groaned at your bare breasts. He leaned down and kissed all over your breasts and sucked marks into them, marking you as his own and his hands rubbed up and down your hips. 

“Come on, Eds. It’s not fair that I’m half naked while you’re still dressed.” You huffed as you caressed his cheek softly. 

He chuckled at your pouting before he leaned back to strip off his vest and jacket and shed his Hellfire shirt. “There? Better?” He asked with a wink and you smirked down at his bare and lean chest. He had lean muscles hidden under all his layers of clothes and you traced his biceps softly and his pecs. 

“You’re so pretty. God, it’s just not fair.” You huffed and Eddie smirked at your reaction and you leaned down to kiss his neck softly and nip on his skin. Eddie ran a hand through his hair as he watched you suck and kiss on his neck and move down to his chest. You ran your tongue over his nipple softly and his body jolted with pleasure and you smirked up at him at his reaction. You pulled away from him to kiss him passionately again and he held you close. “Want- you- to fuck- me.” You mumbled in between kisses and he was taken aback by your confession and he growled softly as he set you on the table. 

“Fuck, hang on, sweetheart.” He muttered as he unbuckled his belt and you started taking off your jeans and kicked off your shoes as you pulled off your jeans. Eddie pulled his cock out of his jeans and you practically drooled at how thick and long he was. Fuck, you wanted to get on your knees and worship his cock, but that would have to wait. Once you got your jeans off Eddie yanked you into his lap and you kissed him passionately as he cupped your cunt and his middle finger circled your clit softly. You moaned against his lips and your hips jolted against his finger and you felt yourself growing wetter by the second. Shit, he knew what he was doing. 

“Eddie, fuck, as much as I love this I need your cock so bad.” You whined against his lips and he smirked before grabbing his cock and lined it up to your weeping entrance. You moaned at the blunt pressure against your hole and you slid your hips down to take his cock deep in your cunt. “O-oh, my.” You moaned as you threw your head back and wrapped your arms around his shoulders. 

He growled against your lips as he pulled away and rested his head against the headrest of the throne. “You’re so tight, sweetheart. Shit, feels like heaven.” He huffed as his hands rubbed your hips and down your thighs and squeezed the plush of your thighs. “You look so beautiful like this, sweets. You look like a goddess.”

You blushed at his words and you leaned down to rest your forehead against his. “You’re such a sweet talker, y’know that?” You asked with a smirk as you tugged on his hair softly. 

“I’ve been told a few times.” He chuckled, making you giggle softly as you started moving your hips up and down on his cock. He groaned as your walls clenched and throbbed around him and you moaned at the thickness of his cock stretching you to the limits. 

“Eds, fuck, you feel so good.” You moaned and arched your chest against him and he leaned down and caught one of your nipples in his mouth and sucked on the bud softly, making shivers run down your back. His hands gripped your ass and spanked you softly as he nipped on your nipple softly. You gripped his shoulders tight as you moved your hips up and down slowly and his head fell back against the throne and he let out a loud groan. 

“Sweetheart, you’re so fucking tight and wet. M’not gonna last long.” He groaned as he clenched his eyes shut and his hands gripped your hips as he guided your hips up and down on him faster. You moaned as his hand went down to your pussy and he circled your little bud in tight circles making your cunt pulse around him. 

You nuzzled against his neck as you cried out, “Fuck, Eddie, m’close, m’so fucking close.” You moaned and he held you tight as he moved faster in and out of you and rubbed your small bud faster. 

“Cum for me, sweets. Show me how good I’m making you feel.” He smirked as he nipped on your neck and spanked your ass. That’s what pushed you over the edge and you came hard on his cock, your thighs shaking around his lap and he kissed you passionately as he helped you through your orgasm. 

You cupped his face as you continued to kiss him and you came down from your orgasm and you kissed down his jaw and nibbled on his neck. “Cum in me, Eds. Want to feel you fill me up.” You purred against his sensitive skin and he growled out your name as you pushed him over the edge and he came hard inside of you. His ringed hands gripped your hips tight as he held your hips flush against his lap as his cum spurted inside of your wet walls. 

He panted softly as he came down from his high and he kissed your head as you laid against his chest. He wrapped his strong arms around you and held you close as you nuzzled into his neck. He pulled away with a dopey smile on his face, “That was a nice surprise.” 

You giggled softly and nodded, “It was. Just couldn’t keep my hands off of you.” You smiled at him and kissed his lips again before you got off of his lap and stood on shaky legs. “You are a very sexy dungeon master.” You winked as you leaned down and kissed his lips again before he tucked himself back into his jeans.

He stood up and grabbed his shirt and had you sit in his throne as he kneeled in front of you and cleaned up your messy cunt. “You’re so fucking pretty in my throne.” He whispered as he kissed your inner thigh. 

“You’re too sweet.” You smiled and he pulled you up gently before helping you get redressed and he put on his jacket and vest as he held his messy shirt in his hand and led you out of the school. 

“Do you want a ride? Maybe we can smoke some and have some more fun?” He suggested with a smirk and you gigged and kissed him. 

“Sure, love a good workout before bed.” You winked and he smirked as he led you into the van and you two were off to his trailer.

[mayabruhbruh]

What do you think of the possibility of Will and Chance happening? I feel like it would be really poor writing tbh but I feel like they will give Will a different love interest because they’ll try to make all of the audience „happy“ But that would just truly not align with the writing so far I feel like.

Love your analyses btw<3

THANK YOUU! That's so kind :) And great ask! This is definitely a topic that the ST fandom needs to discuss.

The default question when people have little to no hope in Byler is, well, who the hell is Will going to end up with? Because it’s become increasingly evident that they’re trying to set him up for a romance. The “im not gonna fall in love”, the “it’s not my fault you don’t like girls”, even the gif shown above. It all can be interpreted to mean that Will is going to find his person soon.

So... to be completely honest, I had no idea who Chance was until this ask popped up and I had to look him up💀. It’s been a while since I’ve been on here, so I’m a little rusty on the deep lore lmao. So, in the off chance that others might also be confused, here’s a (rare) gif of him I found.

I think that’s him with the Hawkins cap on the right. Correct me if I’m wrong.

I’m not sure where the rumors that this guy was going to become a bigger part of the show came from, but that seems highly unlikely to me. I feel like they would have either hinted at it in the fourth season (like how they’re giving Patrick here quite a sizeable role so that he’ll be memorable to us later when he gets vecnafied) or they would have announced him as a more prominent character already like how they did for s5 with Holly, that one new kid character, and also how they did Amybeth for s4. Idk, maybe it’s unreasonable to think they would have to do that, but it feels quite too out-of-the-blue. Especially for a character that would take on the role of becoming our central character’s love interest, which is a BIG DEAL. Especially if it’s queer lol.

Secondly, I firmly believe that it would be a disservice to Will’s own desires to meet someone new.

Will said this explicitly in the van scene, and as of now, we’re still under the impression that Mike is his person. Forget about Mike’s issues and feelings for a second, and think about what Will is saying here. He feels like a mistake for being different, but Mike makes him feel like he’s not a mistake at all, that he’s better for being different. Mike gives him courage to fight on. Fuck. Tbh, it makes me wonder how long he’d felt this way. As a byler, you might be inclined to think his feelings have been on for forever, but narratively, he could have easily just realized his own feelings very recently, most likely sometime between season 3 and 4. It doesn’t mean the feelings weren’t there before, but realistically neither Will nor the general audience were aware of it before now.

Moving on.

Has anyone heard of the rule of Chekhov’s gun? It’s an incredibly clever and widely-used tool in screenwriting and storytelling in general that helps to clue the watchers in for what’s to come next.

Think of Lucas’ wrist rocket in season 1. When they introduced it as a flimsy-looking, no-good weapon that he’d put too much pride in at first, it gives us a good laugh and we move on. But really, it very meticulously set us up to subconsciously anticipate to see it again later. That’s what Chekhov’s gun is all about. Set-ups, foreshadowing, hidden treasures.

Another great example would be the painting reveal of s4. Obviously, after finding out that Will was painting something, bylers immediately figured it was for Mike and BEGGED and HOPED and PLEADED that we’d be able to finally see it, but to the general audience it was just another something that they’d have to pick apart and realize was actually of importance as the season progressed. (It’s also a good way of showing that the writers are fully capable of engrossing the entire fan base and general audience in his and Mike’s story. Just knowing Will had painted something and that it was for Mike created this sense of PLEASE TELL ME WHAT IT IS AND WJATS GOING ON and whatnot that watchers are simply so susceptible to it’s insane.)

Okay, back to the van scene. Will’s confession.

Now, I’m not saying that the writers intentionally used this foreshadowing tool for us to find and understand immediately. There are plenty, plenty of instances where writers use Chekhov’s gun principle and it flies over peoples heads purposefully. What I’m trying to say is that, thematically and narratively, they would never have introduced Wills feelings for Mike if not for it to have importance to the story, or for nothing to happen with it at all. It’s a set up. And a maddeningly good one, at that. Because queer stories already do tend to fly over people’s heads, and also because there’s the added drama between Mike and Eleven that makes it seem quite impossible for any of these feelings to be addressed in the midst of such emotional chaos. But whatever. I think I’m rambling.

Basically, whether they end up together or not, whether Mike reciprocates these feelings, Will is forever established to be in love with Mike. The confession was simply too grand and emotional and earnest for him to just switch up abruptly next season when he meets someone new that he might have a better chance with. Even if there were to be a whole new arc for him where he learns to let go of Mike or something crappy like that, it would be terrible writing on their end and poor use of a well-set-up Chekhov’s gun reference. It would be like introducing the gun in the display case in scene one, then two scenes later just tucking it away into a storage closet for the remainder of the story. Like… what?

And plus, it’s HIGHLY unlikely that Will would end up with that sort of storyline next season when he’s literally WITH Mike for presumably a majority of the time (based on the set pics so far).

So that’s my debunking of the Chance rumors :) and I didn’t even get to mention how incompatible they’d be just naturally as characters. Chance, a Jason-following jock that hates Dungeons and Dragons, fantasy and nerdy things, and willingly assisted in beating up the Hellfire Club when they were trying to find Eddie. What about that at all screams Will’s type? And if you’re thinking “unconventional couple enemies to lovers”, just don’t. This isn’t a rom-com, especially for a queer plot line lol. I think it’s safe to say there’s no “chance”😉 that they will ever happen. And either way, it’d be a bummer if they did. Cus it would just be Will defeatedly settling for someone that isn’t Mike.

UGH! It makes me sad that the one thing that is firmly being teased by the writers (Will’s love playing a major role in the plot to come) is constantly being questioned and framed as different questions. “Will Mike reciprocate?” “Does this mean Mike and Eleven break up?” “Who will end up with who?” SHHH Frankly, to me this is already a win. It’s become obvious that Will having feelings for him will come up again soon, and the rest of the evidence that accounts for Mike’s end already speaks for itself, so I prefer to just sit back and watch it all unfold.

Again, thanks so much for the ask!! This was so fun to dissect and feel free to keep sending questions into my inbox. It might take me a second to post my response but I’m determined to get through all of them. Love you guys!! <3

[narrators-journal]

Protective!Kurapika x reader

Hi! This ask was HELL for me, I struggled so hard on what to do for this fic and how to nail down Kurapika’s personality right. I was originally gonna write it as a scenario, but I felt like the characters just weren’t. Right. I’m so very rusty with hunter x hunter, I should probably go back and rewatch it. But, for now, I finally put my pride aside and just put together some headcanons. Sorry this isn’t a full little ficlet this time...

Kurapika is such a mother hen, it does not take him much to grow protective of someone.

Especially if that person is, say, a literal child and has trauma similar to his.

In that case, it basically becomes a ‘I’m gonna do what I wish was done for me’ type of thing.

For someone older, though. Like, around his own age, the protectiveness is more subtle.

After all, they’re an adult, or old enough to be a hunter at least. They can handle themselves a good amount.

So, when he hears about a traumatic event he previously didn’t know about, the first sign of protection is gonna be grilling that person on how they knew.

Did you willingly tell them? Did they snoop? Did they have a hand in the trauma and thus know first hand? If so, were they they one that caused it?

Once he’s satisfied, appropriate actions are taken. If it’s one of the main three, most likely just some introspection on why you didn’t feel safe enough to tell him before someone like, say, Killua, or Leorio’s loud-mouthed ass.

But, after that point, again, it wouldn’t be a super overt shift.

He’ll mostly protect you from traumatic triggers, but try not to let slip that he knows. Bc that’d be creepy.

Although...if he came across your traumatizer. And he no longer had to hide that he knows of your personal trauma? He may very well go ballistic on them.

Especially if you have a trauma relating to the spiders. It just feeds his own violent vendetta against them.

But, of course, that reaction depends on whether or not you’ve shared your issues with him, are looking for your own revenge, or are around.

If you want your own revenge, Kurapika won’t brutalize your traumatizer too bad.

he’ll leave that to you.

But, all around, variables aside, Kurapika won’t be overtly protective of you if you’re around his age. He knows the discomfort of people knowing your business before you’re ready, so he’ll wait until you tell him to show any real big signs of Mama Bear Behavior lol.

[venelona]

Hey! Big fan of your art!

I have a question:

You’re a big shipper of frans which gets a lot of hate online from people who claim it to be “problematic” or “pedophilia” and I’m curious: How do you deal with these people?

A lot of the time these people have the intelligence of a paint can, and the personality of a rusty pipe. They come in many forms: sometimes they just follow mob mentality, sometimes they think they’re the “good guys” and are fighting against “problematic” stuff, sometimes they’re just uninformed and too stubborn to listen, and sometimes they just hate to hate. These things all mean that they can’t really be reasoned with.

So I’m curious as to how you deal with them and what the best strategy is (I’m planning on getting into ut writing, so I wanna be prepared).

(Thank you!)

Hello, thank you!

Your observations are very on point - a lot of people who send frans hate (honestly, its not even just frans issue - it can apply to any not-canon ship) are quite narrow minded, stubborn, like to play a morally superior 'hero' and do not like to listen to any reasoning

I deal with it by simply not being that person. I keep open mind and respect even ships that I dislike with all my soul, because at the end of the day this is fiction, hobby, for fun. And that's what I tell people who try and sling hate at me - you really have a problem with a person's choice of fictional character romance? Even if its problematic (when it comes to frans, as long as Frisk is an adult I do not even consider it problematic), exploring a problematic ship does not make a person awful, as long as they are and the audience is aware that it's supposed to be problematic. Like, yunno, people who write murder stories are not killers

When engaging with the hate comments (which I usually do when I receive any - when I was still in the toxic pit that is Instagram when I wasn't in the best mental space I'd just delete hateful comments, only for those people to come back and point fingers at me for it, which means they were monitoring a post they actively dislike... honestly, those kinds of people just have too much time in their life) I usually try to respectively describe my point of view, and sometimes even engage in conversation when I try to talk with them through their points in an effort to show them that there doesn't need to be hate like this, and how usually it's hypocritical in comparison to other ships, maybe world in general, or just that it's kind of a waste of time to talk about this because this is for entertainment purposes of a person you do not know but choose to hurt and can hurt

I do not owe this to those people - I probably don't even owe them politeness I try to extend, but I choose to act this way because usually those people are young, and if my words have even a slight chance to change how they choose to act and view things, it's worth it in my eyes to try. Though, I do this if I'm in a good mental space, which I usually am, but I get wore down also. If I'm too tired, I just ignore it, or leave a shorter comment

Honestly I've been very fortunate not to receive a lot of hate over the years - I was too unpopular/not worth it at first and later too big and intimidating to attack later lol I'd never want for people to attack someone on my behalf, even if they attacked me, but having friends you can vent to if something did get to you is very nice.

Most of the time people don't really change their point of view, but sometimes they do. I got a couple call out posts on twitter last months, and commenting on them and talking to people who made them made them delete them, because they were made by teens who got scared that the person they ragged on saw this, asked them why they were gossiping, and explaining how their 'heroic unmasking' posts could lead to a person receiving threats and having their mental state crumbling (I was in good enough mental space so I didn't think of it much, but I worry for those who may receive same type of treatment and handle it worse). Those teens said they won't make posts like this again, which doesn't mean they changed as people or changed their perspective, but hopefully means in the future there will be less people hated, and less people will embarrass themselves by targeting people in hopes of being a 'hero who brought awareness to this person being bad' when the person didn't do anything to deserve this

In conclusion... Do not listen to hateful comments - there's no shame in deleting them or blocking the people outright. I always leave blocking as last resort, but it's a personal choice. Sometimes for your mental health and mood it's really better just to yeet that out of your sight tho, complain to your friends and move on to have a nice day

Good luck with writing! If you start getting any ship hate you're always welcome to dm/tag me, and I'll try to help you ✨From personal experience, Tumblr doesn't have much haters though - even if you catch their attention, you can always turn off anon asks

[tangledinink]

Hi! I just have a little comment on your use of sign language in the carol side fic. I in no means mean to be rude! I’m not a professional! But I do use asl commonly, and I would like to say that the grammar structure is different, especially in newer users (like me!). So when Donnie asks Carol to make his hair like hers and April, it would probably end more like “can, have, hair, like, April, and, you?” Like I said, I’m not a professional! But it is something I noticed.

Good luck!

This is absolutely correct! Thank you! When I was learning ASL in college, my professor (who was Deaf,) would describe it as "caveman-style grammar" to us to help try to get a grasp of ASL sentence structure, as sort of a 'cheat-code' way of thinking about it when we were first learning.

I went back and forth about it, but I ended up deciding not to do a direct translation of ASL grammar in my work. I don't think there's anything wrong with writing it that way, and I think there can be a lot of merit to it, but it just feels a bit odd to me? When translating Spanish to English, for example, we typically wouldn't say, "the cat white," even though that would be the direct translation from, for example, "el gato blanco." We would expect the grammar to be a part of the translation process-- the white cat in English. Obviously, there's a difference between a spoken language and sign language, but it's always sort of felt a bit strange to me, to treat ASL differently from other languages, and only 'translate' it halfway, I guess? (Especially given that a huge part of ASL is facial expression, so you risk leaving a lot of details or nuance behind if you choose to use ASL sentence structure but don't consider user expression in your writing as well.)

Perhaps that's just me being lazy and not wanting to restructure things in my fic, lol. But while I think there are definitely pros and cons to either method and that both are valid options, a complete translation is what I went for in TMWN-- similar to how subtitles are done when a character signs in a movie or a TV show. I want the characters' signed dialogue to read smoothly and retain their voice and personality. I want it to flow the same way it does when they speak in English or in Japanese. Signing is totally natural to these characters! I don't want the reader to slow down to translate grammar, or to draw attention to the fact that it's 'different,' because for the characters it's a totally nbd-everyday thing, and that's not what I want the reader to focus on in this case.

That being said! I am not Deaf, nor fluent in ASL (my gOODNESS have I gotten rusty,,,) so! Take my opinion with a grain of salt and if I'm, like, totally out of line, I'm open to hearing about it, lol. I hope this makes sense? Sorry I went off so hard and wrote so much lmao I just spent a lot of time thinking about it and going back and forth when I first started writing the fic.

[lostinthewiind]

I was wondering maybe a titan shifter reader, like season 1 ish era, and Jean? Angst like he sees reader die and get eaten by a titan, and the entire titan thing like Eren? If that makes sense? I haven’t asked a request in so long I’m rusty lol

Just Another Suicidal Maniac

A/N: SO glad someone requested Jean right off the bat because I'm slowly entering my Jean-girlie era and I'm down bad y'all.

Rating: PG13

Warnings: angst, major-character death, gore

"You seriously worry too much." You dusted off your pants as you stood up, grateful that the only damage done by your rough landing was a couple of bruises and scrapes.

Jean, who was in the middle of said worrying, didn't bother to inspect himself first before giving you a once-over with his wide, brown eyes. "Worry? Me?" Jean mocked before gesturing out wildly to the chaos around the two of you with his ODM blade—Titans roamed the streets freely, hunting the many scouts leaping from rooftop to rooftop. "Wonder what I could possibly be worried about?"

"We've made it out of worse situations than this," you reminded him. "You always do this, you know. You have a tendency to let your imagination run wild and assume the worst possible scenarios."

"I like to be prepared for the worst." He pulled you behind a chimney with him to avoid being seen by a passing Titan. Once the Titan had stumbled out of range, he crossed his arms over his chest and sighed. "Sue me for caring, I guess," he muttered under his breath.

You couldn't help but chuckle. "I appreciate that you care." You held onto the soft moment while you had the chance—these days, they were rare. "I want you to worry about yourself though. If you got injured, or god-forbid killed, because you were worrying about me and not yourself, I'd never be able to forgive myself."

Jean's harsh gaze softened. "That's not-"

"Is that what you want? You want me to live as a guilt-stricken widow?"

"Okay, first of all," Jean rolled his eyes, "you've always told me that if I die, it'll be because of my own stupidity, so don't go acting like you think otherwise now. Secondly, we're not married so you wouldn't be a widow."

"Oh, so now you're gonna die and revoke my widow status."

Jean groaned. "How about I just don't die at all?"

You smiled. "I think that's a good plan."

"Armin!" You both gasped at the same time.

Before either one of you had the chance to draw out the sappy-yet-lighthearted moment any longer, a scream rang out in the distance. The both of you shared a look when you recognized the voice. Only one person was capable of emitting such a shrill cry for help.

Jumping out from behind the relative safety of the chimney, you surveyed the terrain in the direction of the scream. A few smaller Titans who were just barely taller than the surrounding buildings were ambling about, swiping at the air in a desperate attempt to swat the soaring scouts out of the air.

Without even checking to see if Jean was behind you or not—you just assumed he was based on experience fighting together—you fired your ODM tethers into the nearest building and took off toward your distressed friend.

"Don't worry. I'll handle it." Jean flashed a smirk before looping his hands under the girl and lifting her into his arms. He tried to play off the way he stepped back ever-so-slightly to counteract being thrown off balance but both you and Armin noticed.

When you arrived to the scene, you spotted Armin in a narrow alley slashing his blade back and forth at the Titan hand reaching for him. Behind Armin, the unconscious body of a fellow scout—a girl you didn't quite recognize—laid in the shadows. Thankfully for them, the alley was just narrow enough that the only part of the Titan able to fit was its arm; and it's arm wasn't quite long enough to reach.

Dropping down into the alley, you and Jean quickly assessed the situation. "Thank goodness you're here." Armin breathed a sigh of relief and knelt down beside the girl. "I found her unconscious in the street. I was able to drag her in here but I'm too weak to lift her out of here on my own."

"If you try to use your ODM gear with her in your arms you'll both be splatting into the nearest window like a bug," you told him matter-of-factly. "I'll distract the Titan, you and Armin get her out of here on foot."

"That's probably the best-" Armin wasn't able to finish his thought before Jean interjected.

"Are you crazy?" Jean furrowed his brows. "You're starting to sound like Eren and we don't need two suicidal maniacs in the 104th."

Hands on your hips, you eyed him. "You're worrying again, dear Jean. Unless you have a better plan than this is what we're doing."

"Well if you'd give me a minute I'm sure I could come up with something better."

"Not to rush you guys or anything, but I don't think she has a minute." Armin looked down at the unconscious girl and pointed out the blood that was now visibly seeping through her shirt. "She's losing a lot of blood."

"It would be safer if you skipped the killing part and just looped back around after we were safe," Jean said.

Turning your back on the others, you stepped toward the Titan hand just close enough that its large fingers grasped at the air less than a meter in front of your body. "Then it's settled. My plan it is." You scoped out the area the best you could from your position. "I'll go up to the roof and lure the Titan to the right. If I remember the formations correctly, you guys should be able to meet up with Levi's squad if you turn left. From there, you guys can get this girl help and I can loop back around after I've killed this big guy."

"And leave him to devour someone else? No thanks."

One day you would die and it would be a real shame if you hadn't taken every opportunity to truly live beforehand.

Jean opened his mouth to protest some more but by the time the thought had reached the tip of his tongue, you were already on the roof. You forced a quick smile down at the two boys before stepping to the edge of the shingles. You weren't stupid—you knew this plan was risky and dangerous, but that was what you had signed up for when you made the tough decision to join the cadets and then the scouts. As far as you were concerned, the definition of living was the continued decision to keep going in the face of a world full of risky and dangerous decisions.

Gripping the handle of your ODM blade hard, you began to bang it against the edge of the shingles at your feet. "Hey, big guy!" You shouted to direct the Titan's attention to yourself. "Why waste your time with them when I'm so much easier to grab?"

"Game on."

At first, the Titan was much more interested in the three grounded scouts over the single one above it. But then, it seemed to re-assess the situation and conclude that you were right. As soon the Titan's soulless, buggy eyes had locked onto you, you smirked.

As the Titan's hand reached out to grab you, you jumped out of the way at the last second. With the Titan fully committed to the chase now, you took off toward the right.

Jumping from building to building, you had to be careful not to stumble with the unsteady footing beneath you; the shingles on the rooves were old and slightly loose, and every time the Titan's hand slammed into the roof behind you in attempt to capture its prey, you had to re-steady yourself.

Glancing back over your shoulder for a brief moment, you were pleased to see that Jean and Armin had almost carried the girl all the way to the end of the street in the opposite direction. With a triumphant smile on your face and the belief that the plan was going to be a success, you began mapping out the area and deciding how best to maneuver killing this Titan when the time came. Your plan, however, was a foolish one plagued by one major rookie mistake; you had forgotten to account for the fact that there was never just one Titan to deal with.

As you fired your ODM tethers into a building across the street, you failed to survey the ground below you before stepping off the ledge. One second, you were gliding easily through the air and the next, a smaller Titan had leapt up from the street, mouth snapping shut. There was a blinding pain in your right leg and when your instincts kicked in, you shot yourself away from the Titan.

Without the capacity to plan any further ahead than getting out of immediate danger, you soon found yourself smacking against the cobblestone street hard due to not tethering yourself to another building in your attempt to escape.

What you felt was the paralyzing inability to save yourself.

You cried out as your body skidded against the ground a meter or so before slowing to a stop. Your vision was blurry from hitting your head a couple of times but when you looked down to assess the damage, you felt your blood run cold at the absence of your right foot.

A puddle of bright red blood was quickly pooling from your fresh stump and all ability to think critically had gone out the window. Shock had frozen you in place so much so that you didn't even notice the Titan approaching you or Jean screaming your name until it was too late. You knew you should get up and try your hardest to get out of there; that no matter how futile the attempt, you had to at least try. But right then, what you knew and what you felt were two vastly different things.

Jean, who was about to watch you die.

Eyes slowly travelling up to the Titan looming over you, you suddenly wished you had listened to Jean. Jean, who only ever looked out for your best interest because he truly cared about you. Jean, who put on an act in front of everyone else but let his true personality shine when it was just the two of you. Jean, who was standing at the other end of the street, screaming your name over and over again while Armin held him back from throwing away his life to save yours.

You didn't fight it when the Titan squeezed its fingers around your torso and lifted you from the ground. Accepting your fate, you closed your eyes and tried to focus on not screaming. Your last thought—the one interrupted by the sudden, all-consuming agony of dying—was that you hoped Jean wouldn't life the rest of his life as a guilt-stricken widower.

As the fear slowly started to wash away, replaced by an unnerving sense of calm, you averted your gaze from the Titan and instead decided to spend your last moment alive staring into the brown eyes of the horse-faced boy you fell in love with. You couldn't muster the strength to say anything—you weren't able to decide what you wanted your last words to be even if you could—so instead you raised your right fist over your heart in a salute and smiled.

━━━━━

Your consciousness felt familiar and yet different. You were still you, there was no denying that, but you were also someone else; something else.

Awareness assaulted your senses in an almost cruel fashion. After embracing the comforting finality of death, a sudden return to the land of the living was brutal. You wondered if this was why babies cried right after being born. Then you wondered why you were able to wonder anything at all.

There was no pain, but if you were alive again—or at the very least, not quite dead yet—you should have been overcome with pain.

Standing at full height, you towered above the buildings around you. Your legs were weak and exhaustion gnawed away at your limbs but compared to everything else, the concern of being tired was tucked deep into the back of your mind. Looking down at yourself, you felt confused but not necessarily startled by the sight of patches of pure muscle where skin should have been. Piecing together all the information you had gathered, you were drawn to only one conclusion.

When you finally decided to open your eyes and face whatever reality was waiting for you, you were greeted with a perspective you were not accustomed to. The world around you was smaller than you remembered, and when you placed your hands underneath yourself to stand up, they were larger than you knew they should be. You were larger than you should be.

You were a Titan-shifter.

First suicidal maniac tendencies and now this; Jean was right, you were more like Eren than you thought.

Jean.

Looking over to where Jean and Armin had been when you last saw them, you were slightly surprised to see them still standing there. You didn't know how much time had passed between your technical death and now, but the horrified looks on their faces hadn't changed at all. You knew they knew what had happened to you after experiencing the same phenomenon with Eren but their shock and terror made it seem like this was the first time they had ever seen a human turn into a Titan.

Then again, you supposed the shock and terror could have come from watching you die and then immediately watching you turn into a monster. That was something that would take some getting used to no matter the circumstances.

You wished you could speak to Jean, assure him that you were okay, but like Eren's Titan you were non-verbal. You opened your mouth and the only thing that emerged was a soft, defeated growl.

Despite that, Jean's eyes softened the way they only did when he was looking at you. Then his gaze shifted and the terror returned. When you followed his eye line, you spotted the same smaller Titan that had bitten your foot off running down the street toward Jean, Armin, and the still unconscious girl.

As the Titan darted past you, completely ignoring you in favour of the easy human targets, a new kind of instinct took over. Without even thinking about it—the only thought being protecting the people you cared about—you kicked the smaller Titan hard, sending it flying into the side of a nearby building. When the Titan still showed signs of life, you reached down and grabbed its head with your much larger hand. Letting out a blood-curdling screech, you called upon every last ounce of strength you had left and bit into the nape of its neck. Once you were sure it was dead, you tore the the Titan's head from its body and dropped the remains to your feet.

Looking back over at Armin and Jean to confirm their safety, your knees buckled beneath you. Drained of energy, the last thing you saw before your Titan body slumped forward was Jean rushing toward you.

"Before you accuse me of worrying too much, might I remind you that I literally just watched you die." Jean's voice was urgent yet gentle in your ear.

When your human body emerged from the nape of your Titan form's neck, your lungs reacted as if you had just resurfaced after being underwater and you drew in a deep, gasping breath. Hot steam billowed around you and as your spent body began to flop over. Before you fell, two strong arms wrapped around you from behind.

"Oh, Jean." You let yourself relax into his embrace. "I'm so sorry."

Jean hugged you tight and buried his face in the crook of your neck. "Don't apologize. Don't you ever apologize for coming back to me."

[alwaysaqueene]

Destined Queen

Indie RP Blog for Original Character’ Medieval, Regency, and High Fantasy Verses — Sideblog to @joyfulmagic & special verses for Relta & Aislin of @fantasiesandfolklore, guest test muse Prince Alastair as well

Written by 𝕷𝖊𝖙𝖙𝖎𝖊 [Lettie] || Mun is 25+ || Blog is 18+ (Preferably 21+)

Minors (under 18) and Personal Blogs DO NOT INTERACT

[Relta’s “Regular” Bio]

[Verse Info Tag] [Guest Staring Lord Alastair, Half-Brother to Relta] & Aislin’s Medieval Verses from @fantasiesandfolklore FCs Used: Charlotte Hope (18-32); Rebecca Ferguson (30+); Ruairi O’Connor (18-35); Anya Taylor Joy (18+); & Natalie Dormer (30+)

Rules are below the readmore on this post

Heavily Affiliated With: @ofheroesandscholars, @singeart, @blackarrcw, @luposcainus, @aislingarrow and @tsarincvdova

𝒜 𝓈𝓉𝓊𝒹𝓎 𝒾𝓃…being the bad guy, raising Hell and high water, religion, paganism, royalty, destiny, fighting fate, the girl with ice in her veins and a heart of gold, blood spilled for justice, living out of spite, heroics, being the final girl, the stench of the battlefield after a war, and taking one’s rightful place on the throne.

𝕽𝖚𝖑𝖊𝖘

NO minors (under 18 years old / still in high school) or personal blogs please! I’d prefer to write only with muns ABOVE age 21, as I am currently 27 (6/2024) years old.

Open to non-mutuals, but still semi-selective toward the selective side

Preferential treatment given to those I’ve built an OOC relationship with / am heavily affiliated with. Just being honest.

No god modding with the exception of starters, as I know you kind of have to a bit to write a decent starter

Multi-para / novella length replies usually. Please attempt to meet my length or at least my effort. Sometimes replies are short to move things along, I get that.

No auto-shipping, as Relta does not want to fall in love or have a co-monarch as a default in the phoenix queen/queen of ashes verses

IF we do ship, know I’ll be simping for them and wish to talk about them OOC a fair amount. Also, expect playlists for solidified ships haha.

My main triggers are animal death, parent death, cancer, infertility, and Dementia/Alzheimer's. Memory issues due to other reasons are fine. PLEASE let me know your triggers so I can avoid them as well.

Dark topics will be present, and the presence of NSF/W isn’t impossible. I will tag NS/FW as “lemons” or “mild lemons” depending on the severity (like PG-13 versus R rated).

Relta is queer, as is the mun. Please be respectful of that.

The mun is neurodivergent and disabled, so please be patient with me. I may miss stuff like social cues at times.

My discord is open to mutuals, but it’s an easy one to guess based on my main blog hub title lol

I have studied history and international politics in college, and plan to focus on medieval times in graduate school when I attend. Relta’s verses on this blog are heavily influenced by actual history and historical figures, so please know I HAVE done my research or asked my Tudor historian friend lol I might twist it and throw in a ton of various influences, but it’s still historically inspired.

I saw BBC’s Robin Hood…18 years ago now…when it first came out and I was a kid, so I’m a bit rusty on it since I can’t find a free way to rewatch it. Thus, I’ll be leaning into headcanons a bit and actual history about King Richard, the Crusades, and Robin Hood lore for the V: Lionhearted verse. I’d be happy to discuss the show AND history/lore with anyone interested in this verse.

I often post worldbuilding and headcanon stuff about Relta in these verses, so don’t be surprised if they outnumber IC posts for a while.

Relta has been an OC of mine since I played make believe with my friends in elementary school, and simply has evolved to who she is now through a passion for creative writing and a gaining of knowledge on character building. She’s still a bit Mary Sue-ish at times, but I work hard to incorporate her flaws and weaknesses as much as I do her strengths and positive traits. She’s not perfect, as no one is.

I am mobile always, so I cannot cut posts unfortunately.

[findroleplay]

💕 (18+) oc x oc / cc x cc (Mixed fandoms)

💕 Hi hi!! 18y/o she/they female looking for new partners to roleplay on discord with either original plots or fandom! Right off the bat i’ll warn you I’m not a fan of doing doubles so sorry if that’s a requirement for you!!

💕 I’m looking for a partner who is 18+ who prefers to write longer replies (2/3+ paragraphs). I would *love* someone who’s fond of OOC chatting because I love gushing over characters, plot lines, headcannons, and literally anything else- lol! That’s not a requirement I totally get being shy- more of a warning that I will talk at you!! Just be open to plotting the story with me!

💕 As for me I’m pretty all over the map! I do NSFW, (but it’s cool if you don’t!) fluff, angst, etc. Though I will say I prefer to have a good balance! I can do one paragraph or I can hit the discord character limit a couple times over, depends on the scene and you! I write third person, past tense, and have been rping for a good couple years now! I’m ok with any gender pairings as well and play both male and female characters!

💕 Fandomless roleplays i’m looking for vary A LOT. I have some oc’s I love dearly but I also love creating new ones, so if you have any ideas i’d love to hear ‘em! I love some sci-fi as well as modern fantasy (also a mix of both??), I love a classic coffee shop/roommates type energy as well! Celebrity/musician also has a special place in my heart! Some oc’s I have/am cooking up include a dorky conspiracy theorist (M), A (loosely Irish mythology based) Faery (F), a *very* serious and dedicated university student (M), and a marine biologist who may or may not be a mermaid… lol (F). (and more! just ask!)

💕 Fandoms I am in include: mcu (though i’m pretty rusty), Harry Potter, Stardew Valley, The Office, and probably more I can’t think of right now!

💕 If you’re interested leave a note and i’ll dm you!! :D

-

[the-sixxth-sinner]

Mask of Sanity

Aviable on AO3

Fandoms: Mötley Crüe

Characters: Nikki Sixx

Word count: 2.5k

Rating: 18+

Warnings: Sex, drugs & violence; underage (implied) sex; non-con; exaggerated drug-induced psychosis. Proceed at own risk

Summary: Nikki goes batshit insane. Again. 

A/N: I first started writing this around when I was reading American Psycho, which was like, back in April 2021? It was my first smut ever and it made me cringe with every word I wrote down lol but looking back at it now, I think I didn’t do that bad of a job. For this reason, in fact, I promised myself I would try to finish it, years later. In conclusion, if you can read this you’re very lucky

I wanted to imitate both Ellis and Nikki’s writing style with this, and i used nothing but sheer will, fantasy and a quick skimming of the heroin diaries as my resources (other than American Psycho itself of course), so if its not accurate or you think i could've wrote it in a different way please bear in mind that i will not accept criticism, constructive or otherwise, at this hour. thanks <3

Knock. 

«Comin’» I enunciate from the other side of the room as I sniff up the last line of blow I put down on the bathroom’s counter.

It must be that chick the boys told me they’d send my way once they finished with her. I'm still not sure why I didn't want to join them in the fun... I told them I just wanted to be alone, have some peace and quiet. Yet, I’ve been pacing back and forth my hotel room the whole fucking time like a rabid mongrel in a rusty cage that is too small. I’ve downed maybe five Halcions with half of a JD bottle and a quarter of an eight-ball and it’s only 2 am. My brain feels like it’s running a hundred miles an hour and at the same time the outside world looks like it’s melting in slow motion just before my eyes. I'm starting to hear voices again. To hell with peace and quiet.

Knock knock.

«Ya, ya, I’m coming!» This is annoying. What’s the fucking rush?

I raise my head up taking a deep breath in. I glance at my reflection in the mirror, I try to relax my face muscles in order to not look like a complete lunatic. I exhale and roll my eyes; I give up: I don't think it’s working.

Knock.

Jesus Christ, do you want to get murdered?!

I move across the room with long strides. I feel my whole body jittery, my hands are shaking. I open the door abruptly. 

«Is this… Are you...» The chick looks both surprised and shocked. 

Shiiit, they fucked her up. She can’t stand straight without leaning on the door jamb, her voice is shaking, her makeup and hair is all ruined, her clothes half torn, her skin has been covered in bruises and God knows whose bodily fluids. She doesn’t look the age she wants to pass as.

«Sixx, yes.» I nod, cracking up the best smile that my mental state allows me.

She relaxes and clears her voice. «Tommy told me you were all alone, so… I thought I could pay you a visit» She smiles, raising the bottle of whiskey she had in her hand, trying to be as charming as possible. She gazes me up and down with her big shiny eyes. Rhinestone crystals drowned in alcohol.

I shrug. «I could use some company.» Thanks, T-Bone!

I wasn't planning to have anybody join me in my descent to madness, but something awakened in me as I glanced at this girl’s now ruined innocence. There's something so arousing about her desire to be completely destroyed and be a disappointment to her parents that I can't just back away.

I open the door wider to let her in. I check the hallway to make sure if there’s anybody else. «Are you alone?» I ask. 

«I mean, like, I came here with Vicky but I think she either passed out or choked on Tommy’s cock? I don’t think there’s any point in waiting for her...» she blathers.

«Don’t worry,» I wrap my arm around her shoulders. «You’re gonna do just fine…» 

The door closes behind us.

Cut.

I look at her as she strips in front of me, slowly, sensually, without breaking eye contact. Her movements are clumsy due to her drunkenness, but that’s what adds to her uninhibited charm. 

My vision gets hazy all of a sudden, as I watch her dance in slow motion, probably looking like somewhere between mesmerized and fucking stoned out of my mind. Yet, I feel restless, and I start to feel the instinct to jump onto her like an animal with its prey.

I get up from the bed and pick her up by her bare waist in a swift movement, which made her yelp in surprise. I throw her back on the mattress, rip the rest of the rags off her body and start going down on her, gently pulling her labia apart with two fingers and sucking on her clitoris and licking her juices. The girl bucks up her hips and moans in pleasure. I position myself better on my knees, then I pull her closer to the edge of the bed, grabbing her by the waist and making her spread her legs more. I press my hands down on her thighs, hugging her lap, and I bury my face into her heat. I lap her pussy up and down, groaning like a dog in heat, thrusting my face into it, going from wide licks to tracing small circles around her clit and penetrating her with my tongue, sucking off all her fluids that are pouring out like a delicious fountain of youth. I feel her losing control of her body, thrusting her hips against my face as she moans louder and I go faster, until my jaw hurts and I remain completely breathless.

«Please… please please please keep going!» she begs.

 I raise my gaze to her for a moment. I can hardly make out the silhouette of her biting her own fist. My mind is foggy, I can barely form coherent thoughts. But the whispers… Those are clear. I try to ignore them, concentrating on the task at hand of making her a slave to lust.

I bury my face between her legs once again, penetrating her with my fingers and tongue.

The girl’s moans and whimpers are slowly getting louder and higher in pitch, blending together with the voices in my head. I feel her getting tighter around my fingers, until she squirts all over my face.

«S-Sorry…» She murmured.

I stare at her for a few seconds. I let out a laugh, licking my lips.

I climb over her body. «Ready for round two, baby?» I whisper in her ear.

«Uh-huh…» She nodded.

Suddenly, I am hit with a wave of dizziness. My head is spinning and my fingers are tingling.

As I get up, I am met with a confused gaze.

«What are you…?»

«I’ll be back in a minute. Don’t move.» I winked at her.

I slam the bathroom door behind me, breathing heavily. I am sure I am about to throw up, but that satisfaction of vomiting your guts out never comes. I decide to take a line of zombie dust, so that if I do something awful to the girl, I won’t have the memory to regret it afterwards.

Cut. 

I enter the bedroom, where the girl is still laying in bed. I grab the Jack I left on the bedside table, and take a good swig of it, feeling it burn inside my throat. I hand out the bottle to her, in a “You want some?” gesture. She gladly accepts.

«Have you ever done blow before?» I ask her, as I sit on the bed and she drinks.

The girl shakes her head.

My eyes widen. «Didn’t Tommy share with you?»

«Nope.»

«Well…» I get up, pulling a bag out of my pocket. «You’re in luck, ‘cause I’m feelin’ very generous!» I grinned. I want to ruin you so bad...

She gasped in joy. «You’re the best, Nikki!»

I quickly prepared two lines to sniff, one for each of us.

Cut. 

I’m on top of her, fucking her tight pussy, grunting and panting like a beast. Her hands are all over me, and my back is covered in scratches. My mind is racing at a million thoughts per hour and I can’t grasp a single one of them. All I want in this moment is to fuck her, ruin her, use her, reduce her into a mindless sex toy for my own pleasure. I hear voices that I don’t know what they’re trying to tell me, I see shadows in the corner of my eyes that I don’t know what or who they belong to. Her moans are the only thing that snatch me back to reality, but soon even they become faint and the voices are more insistent.

I pull out.

The girl tosses a disappointed look at me, with languid eyes. «Nikki…» She stretches out her hand, trying to pull me closer. «Why did you stop…?»

With a jump so swift even I got surprised by my own mental alertness at that moment, I grab the girl by the jaw moving closer to her.

«Ask for it. Beg me. Say my name.» I demand grinding my teeth.

She swallows and has fear in her eyes. «Please. Please Nikki, please I beg of you» She lets out in a small voice.

I strengthen the grip, lifting her chin. I let out a beastly breath in her ear: «Not. Enough.»

She stares at me, her eyes wide in terror.

«I SAID NOT ENOUGH!» Nikki punched the girl with brutal force, making her scream in horror. He was breathing heavily, eyeballs out of the sockets in shock. A trickle of blood started running down the girl’s nostril. A drop of translucent fluid dropped on top of it. Nikki brought his hand to his face: it was his saliva. He was drooling like a rabid dog.

Nikki had his grip tight on her neck, and kept hitting her, making the blood flow on her face and her porcelain doll skin break, until her screams stopped. 

Nikki let go of her throat, his breath short from the violent frenzy. He looked down at his trembling hands, the knuckles stained in red, then he looked at the girl. Admiring the bloody mess on her face, Nikki felt his whole body tingling with an undefined sensation: he had a rush of adrenaline, horror and ecstasy all at once, but he wasn’t completely sure if those were the right sensations, the right terms for what he was perceiving. The voices were getting clearer and louder, telling him to do horrible things to her.

Nikki touched himself, to then enter inside her, and began thrusting.

The girl was slowly coming to her senses and as soon as she noticed that Nikki was violating her, she started screaming, kicking and pushing Nikki away with her hands, who promptly blocked her mouth with one hand and pointed his switchblade knife at her throat with the other. «Shh-shh. You wouldn’t want anyone to hear us, trust me…» He whispered, with a smile that hid the devil. 

Her eyes were filled with tears in supplication, her body paralyzed in fear.

Nikki forcefully pushed himself inside her. «You like that, huh?» The whole bed shook. Muffled sounds came out of her mouth. The blade touched her skin at every thrust. «You like being fucked by me until your insides hurt, don’t you?» He rammed once more and there were more suppressed cries.

He stopped for a moment and leaned closer to her: «Answer me.» Nikki breathed, baring his teeth. He pressed the knife against her jugular, cutting her skin. A trickle of blood streamed down her throat and chest.

The girl shook her head. Her whole body was trembling.

«Wrong answer.» He stabbed her in her stomach, making her cry in desperate pain like a wounded fawn.

Nikki traced a bloody line with the blade on her pale skin, stopping at the height of her heart. He could feel her breath accelerating more and more under his knife. He shot a glance at the girl, who had her eyes wide and pleading, with tears running down her cheeks, faint whimpers coming through her covered mouth.

«No one can hear you scream, you stupid slut.»

Nikki raised his armed hand.

The sound of the blade slicing through flesh.

A silent scream.

Blood gushing out of the girl’s breast.

Nikki pulled out the knife from the girl’s chest, and dug inside the wound. With the help of his switchblade, he ripped out her skin like fabric and then her heart, still pulsating, and observed it with fascination; he felt its warmth and weight in his hand and then he licked the blood dripping from the torn arteries. It tasted like death. Then, he dropped it to his knees.

Cut.

I wake up in the bathroom, with a massive headache and generally feeling like shit. I barely remember why I am here in the first place… I try to recall what happened a few hours before, but in vain. I take a glance at the toilet: it’s filled with vomit. Huh. Must’ve been a wild night. Getting up, I notice red stains all over the sink. What the hell…?

Suddenly, my heart is racing, my palms are sweating and I am scared to look at what’s behind the bathroom door, left ajar.

With a deep breath, I gather all the courage I have in my body, and I open the door.

Jesus Christ…

I slowly enter the trashed room, carefully, warily, like if there were landmines all over the pavement. There are red pentagrams and writings all over the walls. A real, human heart is taped at the head of the bed. Then, I see it: the body of a girl, lying lifeless on the mattress.

«What the hell… What the fucking hell!» I scream, recoiling against the wall, horrified at the realization of what I’ve done.

Knock knock knock.

«Sixx, get the fuck up! We have to leave in ten minutes!» Doc’s voice from the other side of the door made me have a fucking heart attack.

«Uh… Yeah, I’m coming, gimme a minute!» I try to sound as relaxed as possible but my heart is pounding in my throat and my voice is quivering. Just then, I realize my hands are still covered in blood. I quickly go to the sink to wash them, but they seem to never come clean. I come back to the bedroom, and I throw the windows open.

I need to get rid of this body.

I wrap the blood-stained bed sheets around the girl, almost throwing up from the anxiety and the smell and the guilt that are all eating me inside out like flesh-eating beetles. I pick the corpse up and bring it to one of the windows.

«I’m so sorry I did this to you.» I whisper, with tears in my eyes and a despaired tremble in my voice.

I throw the body out of the window.

I open the door of my hotel room and I am met with Doc’s stern gaze.

«You look like death. What happened?» He asks, squaring me off.

«Oh, nothing.» My eyes wander somewhere behind his shoulders. «Just a bad trip.»

I don’t think he bought it.

«Whatever, get your ass in the main hall.» Doc steps aside to let me come out of the room. «We have an important interview this morning: behave or I’ll send Fred to kill you.» He looks at me in the eyes, stressing the last words.

«Can’t promise anything.» I mumble.

«Excuse me?»

«I mean… Yessir.»

«Good boy.» He gives me a pat on the back and starts walking.

I follow him, glancing at the room one last time. I take a deep breath, trying to calm down, but I can’t shake off the sensation that someone is watching me behind my back.

[sceneself]

oops

..last year i reblogged this (ask game) and was sent asks but dont wanna individually answer them and ping ppl so ill answer under a cut here!

prompts were 1, 5, 9, & 15. shortened the questions since this is late af anyway

favourite season? [1]

tbh i condense third life + last life into one season (due to having really enjoyed martyns character, feeling skizzs 'arc' in s2 is characterized better with s1 in mind) - if i have to pick one: last life. its kinda my thing that i am attached to last life

favourite build? [5]

(ummm, just gonna list the ones i remember most.) i have a soft spot for dogwarts from 3rd life, since it was kinda the heavy hand pivot-into rp i saw first. the "snow fort" from last life, most specifically the "office." (don't get me started why i care about that damn thing.) the "relation ship" from double life was cute. "bad boy manor" and the associated bridge in limited. ahhh, its been a while but that weird saw-gauntlet-trap-thing tango made too. gd its been long.

looking forward to see red? [9]

yeah, since i'm replying so late my answer is always either cleo or etho since they can get chaotic. or, well, mumbo whenever he's around.

anything i thought was overlooked? [15]

i always chew on when people compare a partnership or alliance to bad relationship. there's sth fun in toxic dynamics like that to me (lol) what comes to mind is def the few offhanded jokes in last life.. sth abt the vagueness is easier to explore than the more hammed up roleplay. a chance for edginess? yes ploz.

u'd think there'd be more posts abt it since a lot of fans love watching ppl be psychologically tortured in the block game... maybe that's more of a different smps habit - anyways!

jimmy, being asked if he's being mistreated:

jimmy: (barely audible) no. (regular volume:) no, no, no. that’s not that conversation. cleo: do you need another place to stay? jimmy: no, no! i’m happy where i am. cleo: are they mistreating you? jimmy: no! no, i promise! i just need sugarcane. that’s all i need.

ren, also in last life, being told he's not in a good relationship:

ren: i'm not sure what i've gotten myself into with the shadow queen. grian: hold on, hold on. that's kind-of good, right? because if she didn't immediately turn on you it means that she cares. [pause] ren: right. either that or she's more than happy to take my resources. not sure which one. etho: (laugh) is she using you, ren? you gotta get outta that relationship. ren, that's not a good relationship. ren, grian: (laugh)

and scene.

..jk

i definitely want to get back into the swing of watching more often bcuz after typing this out im realizing my life series knowledge is prettyyyy rusty.. on the other hand i can def tell what some of the aspects keeps me interested! if ur reading this and have pov suggestions based off any of this feel free to shoot me an ask abt it ^_^

[sickly-qt]

Okay I just found your acc and I’m obsessed with drew! Do you think you could write something where she gets pretty drunk to the point of throwing up and she is so out of it she lets Finn see her? No pressure :)

wowowow, look at me, answering an ask for the first time in forever. I am trying my best lol. This is kind of important in terms of different characters becoming acquaintances but otherwise it's just shameless emeto. This also takes place a little while back when Drew and Finn had been dating for less than a year, presently they've been together for almost 2 :)

Enjoy! I'm sorry if i'm a bit rusty

~~~

Work events with an open bar always mystified Drew. She never really understood why an employer would encourage drinking to excess… or at the very least tempting their employees to drink to excess. These were the thoughts running through her mind as she picked up her glass and walked away from the bar, sipping on what must’ve been her third double vodka sprite of the night. She knew that she should probably slow down, the anxiety of being at one of Finn’s work banquets washing away with every glass of wine over dinner. Her head felt airy and conversation was coming easy and she was actually having a better time than she thought she would’ve, probably too good of a time if she were being honest. 

Drew was surprised when Finn had asked her to go with to be his plus one to his work event. Sure, they had been dating for around 7 months and they were basically living together, but things like this really cemented that they were serious in a weird way. He wanted to be seen with her in front of his coworkers as well as the new company that had just partnered with the company Finn helped run.

“Hey, Drew! Come and meet my new partner.” Finn called, grabbing her hand and leading her through the crowd. Everything went by her in a blur and made her dizzy, this is when it really settled in that she was undeniably drunk. They came to a stop in front of another surprisingly young couple. A tall blonde man who looked a little intense and a woman with reddish hair and brown eyes smiled at her kindly. Drew was just focused on seeming sober, and feeling like she was failing miserably. 

“This is my partner, Drew. Drew, this is one of the heads of the company we just partnered with, Remington Paxton and his partner Mila.” Finn introduced them all.

“Hi it’s very nice to meet you, and you can both just call me Remy.” the man responded, holding out his hand. He was almost alarmingly clean cut in the most crisp, and probably most expensive suit Drew had probably ever seen. Mila, on the other hand, seemed a lot more laid back in a simple blue tea length dress and beautiful silver heels, she looked like an auburn cinderella. 

“It’s nice to meet you both as well.” Drew said, shaking both of their hands and then promptly zoning out as Finn and Remy launched into a conversation about PR and advertising. She had a very loose idea of what Finn did at work in the first place and at this point Drew could barely wrap her mind around what she had to do the next day let alone how different PR tactics can be used to benefit marketing and advertising. 

“I never really know what he’s talking about once he gets going.” Mila said, taking a sip of her champagne. “I just smile and nod.”

“I’m glad I’m not the only one.” Drew smiled, not really in the mood to conversate. She was starting to feel woozy and a little nauseous. All of the anxiety from before her second glass of wine, rushing back. Suddenly, the elegant ballroom felt stuffy and her dress felt too constricting, and she was really warm. She heard Mila start to say something else but Drew couldn’t be bothered to pay attention, everything was spinning and she felt lightheaded. 

“Excuse me. I’m so sorry I need to get some air.” Drew mumbled, sitting her drink down on the nearest table and rushing away. She had intended to actually do exactly that but on her way to the door nausea hit her like a brick wall and she gagged harshly into her hand. Drew quickly detoured to the bathroom, grateful that the unisex bathroom was open and she wasn’t about to be sick in a stall. She had barely gotten the door locked behind her before vomit rocketed up her throat, spraying through her fingers and dripping down her arm. She barely had any time to throw the toilet seat up before she gagged again, her dinner coming up in violent waves.

She steadied herself on the back of the toilet, her other hand gripping her stomach and she took a couple breaths. A knock at the door caused her to jump.

“Drew, it’s me. Are you alright?” It was Finn. 

Drew swallowed and flushed the toilet, walking over to the sink to wash her hands. She was a complete mess, vomit in her hair and down the front of her dress. The sight made her gag again. What was worse was the trail of sick across the floor and on the back of the toilet. “Fuck.” She whispered before unlocking the door and letting Finn in.

“Oh fuck.” Finn mumbled, seeing the state of his girlfriend and the bathroom.

“I’m so sorry.” Drew sniffled, drunk and emotional. 

“It’s okay babe. Uhm… let’s get you cleaned up a little and then we can let an attendant know that someone got sick in the bathroom and then we can go home, okay?” Finn had grabbed some toilet paper and started cleaning the puke out of her hair.

“I’m gonna throw up again.” Drew whined, feeling sick and now embarrassed. She covered her mouth with her hand before bending over the toilet again and gagging.

“Okay, okay. Just get it out.” Finn stood behind her, holding her hair out of her face and rubbing her back as all of the wine and vodka sprites came back up in a disgusting slurry. 

“Oh god, I’m so sorry.” Drew said, out of breath. She stood up straight and closed her eyes, taking deep breaths before a burp rumbled up her chest, sending her back over the toilet although nothing came up.

“Shh, no more apologizing okay?” Finn reached around her and flushed the toilet, still rubbing her back. “Are you done for now?”

“I think so.” Drew mumbled, blowing her nose with some toilet paper. “I’m sorry you had to see that, I feel so disgusting.”

“A little vomit isn’t going to scare me away, Drew. I love you, and I still love you after seeing you be a puke geyser.” He wet some toilet paper and tried his best to clean up the front of her dress.

“Thanks… I love you too…”

“Let's get you home my love.”

[willowisapillow]

☃️🍄 Goin' Down To Shroom Park 🍄☃️

Heyo, guys, gals, and non-binary pals. The most wonderful time of the year is upon us, so I wanted to start it off by drawing a winter-themed pic. And also to add it onto the list of crossovers nobody asked for but yet I deliver because I can 😌

And uh, kind of weird timing that I’m posting this considering everyone is currently harping on about Wapeach (or Walupeach or whatever the hell she’s called), so that’s neat, ig.

I'm not sure if y’all knew this about me, but I love South Park. It’s one of my favorite cartoons of all time and one of the few adult cartoons that I actually watch. I do love cartoons in general, but for some weird reason, I just could never really get into adult cartoons, despite half of the unhinged and crass stuff that I love like the Child’s Play/Chucky movies, Conker’s Bad Fur Day, and Panty & Stocking. The only ones that I really like and watch are South Park (as previously mentioned), Happy Tree Friends, Daria, and Drawn Together. Other than that, other shows don’t really interest me.

Though I have heard a lot of good things about Moral Orel, and watched a couple of reviews of it on YouTube, so maybe one day I’ll give it a watch.

Back onto the topic of South Park, I always knew about this show’s existence, but I definitely was not allowed to watch it when I was super young for… obvious reasons 💀

It wasn’t until 8th grade, which was my third and final year of middle school, was when I started really getting into the series. I came across a 107 Facts video about the series on YouTube, and clicked on it, despite knowing little to nothing about the series. And then I clicked on another video about the series. And then another. And another. And another. And another. And one thing led to another, and I eventually became hooked on the series. I was always interested in what wild adventure the boys would get themselves into, or what out-of-pocket thing Cartman would be doing this time.

It’s been a very long while since I’ve last watched the show, so my knowledge of it is pretty rusty, but I’m planning on watching it again after hearing about the whole Panderverse thing. Also I love the designs of the Panderverse girls, they slay ✨

I had a lot of fun drawing this, I just wanted to draw some of my favorite Mario characters as some of my favorite characters from the show. At first, I wanted to draw Luigi as Kyle because green hat, but I thought that Waluigi should be Kyle, and I’m probably gonna draw Luigi as Kenny in the future. Daisy would probably be Bebe, Mario is gonna be Stan, and I think we all know who our boy Warius would be lol

☃️ 💜 💚 ☃️