#lolz yeah points for effort

[diver5ion]

[whyse7vn]

MILITARY WIFE -

[ot7 x reader]

SEOKJIN -

jin: if you’re pregnant now this the time to tell me

y/n: blocking you

jin: you are my fire

y/n: kick fucking rocks seokjin

jin: breaking both my legs

y/n: are you gonna miss me that much?

jin: no

being in the army seems like so much effort

y/n: bye

jin: i’m so fr

what the fuck am i kim seokjin gonna do in the fucking army

y/n: ran laps and shit idk

jin: FOR 2 YEARS

oh no

sorry not going

i have a really bad knee and ur pregnant my arm is bent backwards and hitting all these c4’s has given me slight brain damage

y/n: clearly

jin: what

y/n: what

jin: plus ur like super depressed and me leaving would only increase that depression which is understandable

yk? since i’m me and all

y/n: i think i’ll be fine

jin: don’t lie babe

y/n: just say ur gonna miss me and move on kim seokjin

jin: i won’t and pls stop saying my full name i don’t know you like that…

y/n: suddenly ur single

jin: wtf what did i do

y/n: i’m so sick of you

jin: see a doctor or something idk?

but we need to make a baby like rn ur not pregnant right ?

y/n: no and i don’t plan on being anytime soon

jin: um that’s not apart of the plan…

i clearly said ur pregnant my arm is bent backwards and something bout a knee injury are you not following?????

y/n: no i am

i just think ur being ridiculous

jin: ME???????

i think ur the ridiculous one rn

ur loving bf is trying to stay with you and is willing to go against the laws to do so and ur not helping???

i think we should take a break or something…

y/n: for 2 years?

jin: OMG UR WORKING WITH THEM ARENT YOU?

you want me gone

y/n: …

YOONGI -

y/n:

yoongi: bye

i’m not even gone yet

y/n: i don’t know if i’m ready for the military wife shit…

yoongi: we aren’t married so you don’t need to worry about that life

y/n: shut the fuck up

anyways

bae why didn’t you tell me sooner i mean what if was pregnant or something ???

yoongi: you’ve known for a whole year and ur not pregnant.

y/n: WHAT IF YOONGI

yoongi: do not start this shit again.

y/n: you wouldn’t be there when i gave birth..

the first birthday…

i can’t do this yoongi…

yoongi: oh no i guess we have to break up😱

y/n: yk what i’m gonna have a blast when ur gone

yoongi: crazy

what about the baby

y/n: fuck the baby the baby isn’t real it was a test of your love and commitment to me and you FAILED

yoongi: damn :/

y/n: you’ll be fine tho right

yoongi: ofc my love

y/n: i mean idc i knew that lolz

was just checking

yoongi: i know bby

y/n: ew ur hot and i love you

yoongi: ew?

y/n: ew

yoongi: ew i guess i love you too

y/n: and u think i’m hot?

yoongi: the hottest

y/n: ur so cringe bro

yoongi: bro???

y/n: it’s time to put this picture up i think

yoongi: 😐

y/n: and when people come to our house i’m gonna be like “yeah that’s my husband… he’s out at war rn” (i’m looking out the window at this point) a single tear runs down my face as i rub my stomach and smile “he’ll be back soon” then there’ll be a knock at the door making me and who ever tf is with me jump a little i go answer the door with the person following behind me (they are nosey af) i open the door and gasp “bang pd… what are you doing here?” he’s holding his hat in his hands and looks really upset he looks at the ground as he speaks to me “y/n….”

yoongi: what the fuck

let the pregnancy thing go

and just because i’m joining the military doesn’t mean i’m going to war you know that right?

and why do i have to die at the end?

y/n: you need to be asking the real questions like who tf is in the house with me ?

also i never said you died YOU said that

yoongi: well it was implied that i died

y/n: shut UP

yoongi: anyways im omw home put the heating on

y/n: sir yes sir 🫡

JIMIN -

y/n: WHEN YOU SAID LIGHT IT UP LIKE DYNAMITE YOU WAS FR THIS WHOLE TIME ?!?

jimin: yeah babe 😔���

y/n: you fr gonna me lighting hoes up ????

jimin: with a little funk and soul

y/n: omg send me a pic of ur first ak 🥺

jimin: idk if they’ll actually give us guns

y/n: why not?

jimin: kim namjoon with a gun make that make sense

y/n: ur so right

maybe they’ll just give you one

and yoongi the others idk…

my boys and their lil pistols 🥺🥺🥺🥺

jimin: do you think i’ll look good bald?

y/n: no

but it’s okay i’ll still love you

jimin: …

y/n: xoxo

NAMJOON -

y/n: you taking this army shit too far don’t you think…

namjoon: 🤨

y/n: i’m ur number one supporter always but like…

i’m all for army don’t get me wrong

but actually joining one i think you’ve got confused…

namjoon: babe.

y/n: so if you could fix ur confusion then we can continue

namjoon: buzzcut

y/n: ur bags are packed

when do you join

when do i get to see

you can take your phone with you right

GOd FORBID I LET YOU TAKE THAT FUCK ASS ANDROID make sure you take that iphone

you can definitely send me photos right

ur gonna be so buff omg

i’m gonna combust

but i like ur long hair

wtf no

☹️☹️☹️☹️

it makes you look so great

it’s so you

so soft

frames ur face so nicely

what if i hate the buzz

what if ur head is wonky

nvm u cant do it

tell them ur not going because what if the other people bully you for ur wonky head

i won’t be there to help you

i cant have that

ok it’s official you’re staying

namjoon: babe

y/n: call them namjoon before it’s too late

namjoon: it’s going to be fine

y/n: no it’s not

wtf am i gonna do without you

FOR 2 YEARS BABE

ur telling me i have to eat alone as in all by myself ?

no thanks

i’ll pass

namjoon: stop it

it’ll be fine

y/n: 😟😟😟😟😟😟

don’t talk to me i’m sad

man

what the heck

ok i’m over it

namjoon: oh?

y/n: yep

namjoon: cool

y/n: cool.

namjoon: 👍🏻

y/n: fuck you and ur stupid little thumbs up

namjoon: what

y/n: what if i also join the army

namjoon: be fr with me love

y/n: WDYM i could so do it

namjoon: right…

if you were to join

it literally changes nothing

y/n: :c

we could shoot guns together

and have a picnic on the field

namjoon: we would be separated babe

y/n: FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

namjoon: oh wow

y/n: i am over it

namjoon: ofc you are

y/n: are you trying to fight me??

namjoon: no??

y/n: how about i pack ur bags now

just leave me in the dirt already idc

namjoon: ☹️

TAEHYUNG -

y/n: is all of seventeen single?

tae: idk wtf

i do not see why this is relevant

y/n: yk

tae: yk what?

y/n: i’m going to ask google

tae: hello what???

y/n: google didn’t help

the bitch said maybe maybe not

loser

she’s supposed to KNOW

tae: what is going on

and do you not have their numbers

thought u were besties

y/n: IK THAT

but i can’t just ask like that what if they catch on

what then tae

tae: catch on to what?

y/n: that i want one of them

are you silly

keep up

but that would totally ruin my whole plan

tae: ???

are you sick in the head

ur bf is right here

you are actively telling me all this yk that right?

ur kinda a bad cheater

y/n: hey

i need to make plans for the future ur gonna be gone for 2 years i need to be loved

tae: i’ll still love you when i’m in the army wtf

y/n: cute

but that will not cut it

who will i wake up to everyday?

who will play the trumpet at 9pm really loud and do it as bad as you?

who will talk to me about their sick obsession with feet?

tae: fine be like that

i just find a new gf fuck you

cheating BITCH

y/n: wtf

that is not fair i let you kiss and cuddle ur all ur little members for our whole relationship

i think it’s only fair that i get to hold a seventeen members hand for a bit

tae: i DO NOT kiss and cuddle them wtf

y/n: okay.

tae: what if somebody leaks our chats and the people believe that

it will ruin my perfect image

y/n: they already think you kiss and cuddle and ur doing perfectly fine

tae: how do you know

y/n: how do you not know

tae: what seventeen member do you want

y/n: don’t talk about my bfs like they are shopping items

but i am not picky woman

first come first serve

tae: but you-

nvm idc

fuck you

y/n: maybe i’ll date them all at once

then i fr never be lonely

tae: my fans will dox you and take all ur money

y/n: booo

my house is your house

my money is your money

we’ll be doxxed and broke together when you come back 😍

my 13 men will take care of me when ur gone

tae: 13 men is 26 feet 🦶

y/n: this is when i stop talking to you

JUNGKOOK -

jk: :(

me when i think about going to the army

:/

me when i think about being alone

:(

me when think about being away from you

:/

me 2 hours ago

:D

me rn

y/n: what changed in the last 2 hours

jk: i got something

y/n: what did you get

jk: i don’t want to tell you

just know it makes me happy and i’m a grown adult so i can buy what ever i want

y/n: omg okay.

why so defensive what the hell

jk: you shouted at me last time i told you about something i got

y/n: jungkook you brought a rock for 4k

a

ROCK

for

4

k

jk: the past is the past for a reason

y/n: anyways

what did you get

jk: not telling

anyways have i told you how much i love toy story

loved it for my whole life

y/n: you watched it for the first time yesterday

jk: ok?

y/n: bye

maybe going to the army will do you good

they might be able to scare you into acting right

jk: i act perfectly fine the heck?

y/n: a 4k rock is not perfectly fine to me

LIKE FR A PLAIN NORMAL ROCK it’s all coming back to me ur actually so sick in the head omg

jk: LET IT GO OMG

ur making me upset

y/n: what the fuck jungkook

jk: ?????

y/n: how much money did you pay for this

jk: not following

are we still on the rock?

because it was 4k you literally just said that

y/n: jungkook

jk: stop saying my name i’m kinda scared rn

y/n: WHY DID A PACKAGE OF 1462 TOY STORY SOCKS JUST COME TO MY DOOR?

jk: oh

lolz

why would you open it

was my package not urs :(

y/n: how much was it

jk: my phone is going crazy rn omg

i think someone leaked my number

i have to get rid of it asap omg

y/n: i will not let you into this house

how much was it

jk: haha

so um

funny thing is

omg is that car coming towards me?

omg i think itBDSHD/£:££:£:£:;£;&3&348(8(8(84847£4£44££;£3&3&

hey

this is a random lady on the street ur bf jungkook got hit by a car he idk if he’s alive let me pass the phone

hEy babbbe i cAn hrdly breatheee rn idk if i’m gnA make ittttt

jst know in my last momentttts i was thInking obf u luv u biye xx

y/n: do not come home unless you want to die fr

jk: hello this is the random lady again ur bf died i’m sorry for ur loss

y/n: how much did the socks cost you

jk: 7

y/n: 7?

jk: k

y/n: i pray the army takes everything from you

jk: ….

y/n: including ur will to live

HOSEOK -

hobi: until i join the army i have decided to live my life as an australian

starting now

y/n: how unfortunate

hobi: naur way it’s dandy mate

y/n: oh wow

what made you make this decision?

hobi: i saw that new jeans girl say let’s gaur and my life was changed mate

y/n: ur accents so strong it comes through in text that’s crazy i must say

hobi: let’s gaur down under on top naur way

y/n: this is taking years off my life

hobi: naur way mate hopefully it takes 2 years off mine mate let’s gaur

y/n: this feels like it’s a form of self punishment

hobi: bingo mate naur way you’ve cracked it i wanna die mate

y/n: wow

this is a lot to take in all at once

hobi: naur mate this is crush hour crush hour let’s gaur

y/n: idk if australians say naur in every sentence

hobi: naur mate it’s an auzzy thing mate you would get it let’s gaur

y/n: no cuz ur so right my fault

hobi: naur i think it’s time i end this let’s gaur

i will now only talk in song lyrics

starting now

pop pop pop

y/n: oh man

i was just starting to like the australian thing

hobi: pull my sneakers on

tell me tell me

y/n: tell you what?

hobi: got army right behind us when we say so

y/n: soon u will be army

isn’t that crazy

hobi: darling i don’t wish you well

y/n: omg ?!

rude

breaking up with you

hobi: i might kill my ex

y/n: sick little fuck

hobi: kiss kiss fall in love

baby i’m sorry

y/n: forgive you

hobi: i’m not sorry

ok i’ve decided i only want to talk in emoji

starting now

☠️

y/n: i feel like i’m having a stroke

hobi: 😭🙏🏻

y/n: i’m leaving now

hobi: 😟😟😟😟😟😟

😣😣😣😣😣

😰😰😰😰😰

😞😞😞😞😞

😐😐😐😟😟

…

kinda hate this one. did write it before jin left too so yez also sorry jimin’s one is kinda short it’s sosososs long to make these individual ones i feel like as i go through each member you can see me low-key going insane and shit not making any sense hope you enjoyed it tho xoxo

[joysmileyay]

today was really rough. as it always is when its time for school. i walked past someone today. they didnt see me or anything. they were in my anthropology class and we sat next toe ach other sometimes and we texted a little bit and said we should hang out and i tried to make that happen but then we just never did and then class was over and they never texted me again so i never bothered with it. so it really stung walking past them because its just another reminder that ive been in college 2 and a half years now and havent made a single friend. and at some point it was not for lack of effort. like ive tried. its like. i cant be mad or upset with myself because its not my fault is it? and i cant even be upset with that person either because well i recognize that theyre a very busy person and sometimes you just dont have room for another friend in your life. i mean shit just the other day one of a few people i know irl asked to hang out with me. we met up the other week. i decided i wouldnt have the energy to do this again, that i just wasnt really enthusiastic about them and like... i dont smoke weed and she and her friends do sooooo what would i even do. anyway i basically said yeah we arent gonna hang out again bye. and its like who am i to do that when im apparently soooo desperate for friends? i dont know. but the point is like i said if someone doesnt have the time or energy for me i get it. so i cant be mad at them, i cant be mad at myself. who the fuck am i supposed to be mad at about how lonely i am? also i cant stop thinking about how much i hate that im male because in my major seriously like 99% of the people are girls. and outside of that i generally am not interested in being friends with guys. like there are very few guys who i would approach purposefully and pretty much theyd have to be like me. and im not really a guy am i? like they have to be gay or bisexual or nonbinary or something and honestly just being gay usually isnt enough. anyway point is i hate that, outwardly at least, im a guy because i feel like the people i try to at the very least make small talk with or be friends with think im hitting on them. and its not like i fucking blame them. we all know how guys are. but beyond that it just feels like theres this barrier between me and the people who id look for companionship in just because i was born with a dick and it fucking huuuuurts dude. i feel like id have such an easier time connecting with these people if i was a woman. its so alienating and it fucking sucks. i mean deep down i basically am a woman or at least not a guy and they just cant see that. and i dont think transitioning would make that any better especially down here lol that person i was talking about is nonbinary so it hurts even more that we just didnt actually become friends because i felt so close to meeting someone who understands and then it just didnt work out. kinda feel like a caged animal that had a carrot dangled in front of it lolz! thanks for letting me whine

[gyuphorias]

i just discovered your page this morning but lost your account lolz.…. i really love your writing i dont know if your requests are open but can i request yeounjun and the reader in missonary and he got her arms pinned but she try to youse her knees hinstead so he pits her legs over his shoulders (sorry for my bad english spelling🙃)

hi!! i'm glad you found my account again!! and your english is absolutely fine, nonnie don't worry about it at all <3

you don't know what led to this situation, but whatever it was, you want to do it again because you're almost certain that this is heaven. you wish you could remember. he's nailing you too good right now for you to think anything outside of his name, any number of pleas, and your impending releases. you don't care quite frankly. you'll just think about it later.

yeonjun is above you, his face inches from yours as he thrusts into you with a wild speed. he set this pace earlier and it's absolutely devastating you, burning you from the inside out with each sharp, punctuated thrust of his cock. his bottom lip is drawn between his teeth and you're hazily focused on the way his hair, damp with sweat, hangs over his forehead.

with one particularly well-timed thrust, yeonjun draws a debauched moan out of you. out of instinct, you reach up to touch him, trying to find purchase on the back of his neck and leverage in the feeling of his skin catching under your nails. that's wrong, though, and your fingertips barely graze his shoulder before he's taking both your hands and pinning them above your head by your wrists.

"told you, sweetheart. no fucking touching."

his voice is rough with the effort of fucking you, but unwaveringly even, which is ridiculous. you stare up at him helplessly, struggling to break out of his hold, unable to make him budge even a bit. you curse him in your head for deciding to work out more. in his words, though, you're able to recall a chunk of what had landed you here: a misplaced touch from soobin and your failure to acknowledge it.

"what's the rule?" he questions, dark brown eyes aflame with a primal sort of heat.

through broken, stuttered words, ones that take all of your concentration to muster, you reply with a meek, "only good sluts get to touch."

he nods, offering up a condescending smile as he relishes in the way your moans get caught in your throat and your eyes roll back in your head before you squeeze them shut. "glad to see i haven't fucked you completely dumb yet, pup."

he continues this brutal balance of hard, paced thrusts and degrading words, working you through orgasm after orgasm. it's driving you completely up the wall, this inability to touch him until he decides you've had enough.

you're getting close to being tossed over that edge again and you're getting twitchy with anticipation and now second nature reflexes that you can't follow through on. when all of this is over, you're sure to have bruises on your wrists from yeonjun's tight grasp. with nowhere else for that instinct to go and you're inability to think straight, you start to bring your legs up to wrap around yeonjun's waist, just wanting to touch one part of him.

like before, though, you've just barely touched his skin before he's grabbing at them. this time, he tosses them over his shoulders, pinning them between your bodies. now, each thrust is hitting deeper and you're seeing genuine stars, too fucked out to even care that you're receiving punishment at this point. you know he knows, but you also know that he's not going to do anything about it.

"i fucking told you," he growls out. "no touching. why aren't you obeying tonight? am i fucking you too stupid? hm?"

through the brilliant, drunken haze you're in, you manage a nod, sobbing up at him.

"yeah? then i'll give you a pass tonight. you've been good for letting me use your cute pussy like this," he coos, though his voice is still riding the high of being in his role of power. "come on then. one more time. you can give me one more."

you give him "one more" three more times.

[seriouslysnape]

Morning Challenge

Remus Lupin x Fem! Reader

Warnings: Smut, Language.

Word Count: 1,682

A/N: This is the second time I’ve reposted this. I cannot get the format right lolz.

“Do you need a hand, baby?”

“Five more minutes?” You begged.

“Baby, I’ve got to go.” Remus replied.

“Please?” You pressed on.

“I can’t, sweetheart.”

He looked down at your pouting face, his heart melting at the way your lower lip stuck out ever so slightly as you looked back at him through pleading eyes. It was early in the morning, around 6:00 or so. Remus usually didn’t get his day started until around 7:30, but today he had some things he wanted to get a head start on.

And you weren’t happy about it.

“Remus,” You whined; “I want you to stay.”

You refused to let him out of your death cling, which consisted of you wrapping yourself around him in a way that meant he’d have to quite literally peel you off of him. He had to admit, you were making it awfully hard to get up and go to work.

“You have work too, you know.” Remus pointed out.

“Never this early. The sun hasn’t even come up yet.” You argued back, burying your face into the crook of his neck.

“It’ll start to in a few minutes.” He announced.

You grumbled, your fingers dancing along his exposed core.

“Can’t you put your grading off for at least today? Isn’t a weekend called a weekend for a reason?” You questioned.

A chuckle escaped his chest, as he peppered kisses along your neck.

“Yeah, something like that,” Remus answered; “I’ve been waiting for a special occasion to take a free Saturday.”

“Today’s a special occasion.” You claimed, shifting a little under the feeling of Remus’ facial hair scratching at your skin.

“Is it?” He acquired.

His lips nipped at certain areas on your neck, smirking at the sounds of your giggles and squirms.

“How often do we get mornings alone together where we don’t really have to be in a hurry to get anywhere?” You wondered.

“Not often. You’re not wrong about that,” Remus replied; “Are you saying I should take today off?”

You shrugged.

“It’d be nice. You and I could stay here all day...” You whispered out, taking your turn kissing his neck and jawline.

He was hesitant to give you a promise if he couldn’t afford a day off from work, even if it WAS a Saturday. Although, staying in bed all day really was tempting. You moved to crawl over on top of him, straddling his waist and continuing to layer him with kisses. Your hips grinded down against his crotch, eliciting a groan from the man. Your fingers wrapped around the waistband on his boxers, yanking them down his legs.

“Angel...don’t start something you can’t finish.” He warned, arousal beginning to flush over him as you removed your shirt from your body exposing your fully naked body to him.

You hummed out seductively, grinning at how he had gotten so hot and bothered by just a few kisses and showing your nakedness to him.

“How about this...” You purred, glancing over out the window and then looking back to Remus being sprawled out underneath you; “If I can make you cum before the sun fully comes up, then you have to take the day off.”

Remus’ hands gripped your waist to keep you from going anywhere, his brown eyes blown with lust.

“You’ve got a deal.” He murmured.

The sun had just started to peek over the horizon, so you didn’t have long before it was fully risen. You rocked your hips, dragging your sex over his dick and teasing your clit with his tip to build up your own arousal. It usually took some foreplay to get you wet and ready for him, but now you were having to put in a little effort to get where you needed to be.

You had to admit, Remus usually had your walls slick and cunt dripping with arousal within no time at all. It had been quite some time since you had to do it yourself. He watched in amusement, your desperate whimpers made his heart flutter as you tried your hardest to get yourself turned on. You were a bit out of practice when it came to self-satisfaction.

“Do you need a hand, baby?” He smirked, a snicker bubbling out of his throat.

You nodded vigorously, your hip rocking beginning to slow.

“Please.” You whined.

He obliged, wasting no time finding your clit with his fingers. You almost jolted off of him in waves of shocking pleasure if it hadn’t been for his hand holding you down. He cycled between different speeds and motions that he knew would have you pooling within only a few seconds. Your eyelashes batted as you rocked into his fingers, his deep voice sounding out.

“Such a pretty girl...” He groaned; “I’m not helping you after this, doll. If you want me to take my day off, you’re going to have to earn it.”

His words resonated with you that the goal was for you to get him to cum. Not the other way around. Although, you had a feeling you might get as lucky. You pulled his hand away just as the ecstasy fog began to cloud your head, letting you know you were good to go.

You lined yourself up and sank down onto him, drawing moans out of both of you. You had fucked him enough that you never really needed to adjust to him, but you always started out rather slow. You rolled pelvis in a slow ride, soaking his cock with your hot arousal and slickness. Remus’ head fell back onto the pillows, his hands trailing over your warm skin. He kneaded and your breasts, playing with your stimulated nipples in a way that sent sparks down your spine.

He reveled in the feeling of you slow riding him. It was secretly his favorite way to have you, despite popular belief. There was a time and place for rough, hard sex. Whereas something more sensual and slower like this was always in order. While he usually enjoyed a long, glacial fuck at the END of the day, he was preferring something a little faster to get the BEGINNING of his day started off right.

“Darling...” He implored, his tone letting you know that he wanted you to speed it up; “You’re not gonna get what you want if you keep that up.”

You nodded, shifting your movements into more of a bounce, and your speed increasing. He stretched and filled your walls perfectly, his tip hitting your g-spot every time you slammed back down onto his lap. The room was getting brighter as the sun crept higher and higher. Your skin was glowing in the warm colors of the sunrise, making you look so beautiful that it almost looked fake. He somewhat kept his original statement, keeping one hand above his head and one strictly on your waist to avoid giving you any assistance.

That didn’t stop him from verbally praising you.

“So fucking good, baby,” He mewled; “You’re such a good girl.”

Your brain couldn’t even string together a coherent sentence. The only noises coming out of you were breathy pitches and moans each time you bounced back down onto him. You were totally focused, having one goal in mind.

You were going to give him the best orgasm of his life.

He was using all of his body force to keep his hips planted on the mattress. He was fighting the urge to fuck up into you with rutted, hard thrusts. You wanted to do this on your own, and by God he was going to let you. He LOVED the feeling of being buried deep inside of you when you sank onto him. He adored filling you and making noises that he didn’t even know were possible come out of you. He didn’t think it was possible, but you started moving even faster, sending blood rushing to his head.

“You’re going to be the death of me, [Y/N].” He said, his voice strained.

“I love you so much,” You huffed, your lungs breathless; “I want to spend every morning like this...”

Remus grunted in agreement, his mind too thick with fog to verbally respond. Truth be told, Remus was trying his hardest not to cum, putting off his release until after your goal time. It wasn’t that he DIDN’T want to cum, but he thought he could tantalize you from work if he caused you to fail at your challenge.

But the way you were rocking, rotating, and wonderfully fucking him, he realized he couldn’t help himself.

His dick twitched inside your throbbing cunt, signaling that he was only a few more moments away from spilling inside of you. A throaty groan erupted from his chest as he came inside of you, filling you with every drop of his release.

Your climax hit you in a flash of white, a strangled cry falling from your lips. You came around him, your movements coming to a stop as your body went limp. You placed your hands on his lower abdomen to steady yourself, your legs trembling from the strenuous movement.

His grip on your waist loosened, and now both of his hands were caressing  softly. You took a few moments to regain yourself, before Remus’ gentle laugh brought you back to reality. You followed his gaze outside the window to see that the sun had just fully appeared above the skyline.

Perfect timing.

“A promise is a promise.” Remus grinned, his chest still heaving.

Your smile was blinding as you popped off of him, falling next to him on the mattress. You had worked him rather hard, and you were sure to give him some loving care. You littered his chest and face with kisses, happy that he was staying in with you today.

“Since you’ll be here all day, we could do that again...and again and again.” You hinted.

Remus’ dark eyes were trained on you, his cheeks flushed at the thought.

“Promise?” He asked.

You caught his lips in a searing kiss before spending all day wrapped up in his presence.

“Promise.”

[mikeyddie]

Oops I think I might have accidentally sent something in unfinished! Idk if you got this but how about a love potion gone wrong. Edd is the poor victim thanks to Matt buying an unknown bottle from the magic store. Eduardo is the unfortunate recipient of Edd’s new found affections (fall in love at first sight.) This makes Eduardo freak out causing home to run and hide in his house while reader who dabbles in magic, tries to find a cure as the potion’s effects become more intense the longer it’s in effect . Meanwhile the rest of the boys are laughing at Eduardo trying to fight off Rival’s steadily increasing advances. Hope I didn’t give too much.

* Hii! So sorry this wasn’t out sooner, I kept forgetting about it lolz I love this ask so much, I super appreciate that you aren’t only asking for x reader stuff :skull (not that i mind it, i just yk like writing other stuff) Anyway I’d love to see art of it too! You don’t have to ofc but I love your art :D I’m gonna keep this in the AU, so it’ll take place b4 Tord moves, but after the confrontation in his room yk. So around where he just lets you sell the robot parts at this point, I mean come on look at how much money you’re making LMAO

Well anyway, here you go!

* Edd had been doing everything in the house recently and was pretty obviously overworked, so you and Matt had offered to run some errands for him, to which he was incredibly grateful. He wanted to oblige and keep taking care of things for you and the guys, but he couldn’t help but let you do so. You’d gotten Tom and Tord in on it, which took some effort, but they were cleaning the house. Well as far as you were aware, it wouldn’t surprise you if they stopped once you’d left the house. Regardless, it was time for grocery shopping. So, you and Matt headed to the shops. 

You’d nearly filled the cart, seeing as no one had gone shopping in a while. Two twelve packs of Cola for Edd, Smirnoff for Tom, and loads of food to fill the fridge. And, of course, you stopped in the mirror isle for Matt. He was ecstatic. 

“Oooh!! I look so good!” he pointed a finger gun at his reflection, causing you to chuckle. 

“Can I get them all?” Matt turned to you.

“Wh- no! That’ll cost all our savings combined, dude!” you exclaimed, placing your hand on your hip. The main reason was actually you just didn’t want to spend money on that many mirrors, lol.

You couldn’t help but smirk at the doofus in front of you. 

“Aww,” he frowned. 

He looked around for longer than you would have appreciated. 

“How about I check out all the food and load up the car?” You began. “I’ll wait outside for you,” 

Matt nodded happily and rested his hands in his pockets.

You strolled the cart to the self-check-out register and scanned all the items. The price didn’t rack up as high as expected, but it was still quite a lot. Thankfully, with the robot parts you had sold, you could afford it. You loaded up the bags and put them back in the cart, walking it out of the shop and to the car, dropped them in the trunk, and brought the cart back. You climbed into the driver’s seat and waiting for Matt. 

After a few minutes, he joined you with two mirrors in hand and you two were on your way back to the house.

“I found this weird liquid thing behind this mirror,” he began.

You glanced over at him for a moment, quickly looking back at the road.

“What is it?” you questioned. 

He shrugged, but realized you weren’t looking at him and hummed the “i don’t know” tune. 

You held your hand out as you rolled up to a red light. You turned your head to him and he gave you the small glass bottle. It was pink and had flower pettals in it. The bottle was in a teardrop shape, similar to a food coloring bottle, which you assumed it was.

“Looks like a love potion,” you joked.

“Oh yeah. I think I’ve seen something similar in a movie,” he sounded, taking it back and gesturing back to the light which had just changed to yellow.

You looked back to the road and pressed your foot down as it switched to green.

“Probably food coloring. Want pink toast tomorrow?” you asked, giggling. 

You were only half joking, wondering what it would taste like. It wasn’t the usual food coloring bottle, or you wouldn’t have had a second though. It had a corkscrew top and, you know, was glass over a squeezable plastic container. It was also much bigger, about the size of your hands palm. 

“Oooh! Yes indeed!” Matt spoke, loudly.

You laughed, turning onto their street and parking outside of Edds house. You opened the door, holding it in place with your foot as you pulled your phone out of your pocket, texting Tom to help take in the numerous bags from the shop. He said he’d be out in just a second and was finishing up the dishes. You smiled at the fact that you’d managed to convince Tom of all people to do the dishes. (You had to promise you’d buy him Smirnoff)

“Hey, Matt, you should probably run those inside before you grab any bags. Wouldn’t want to drop those mirrors,” you suggested.

He nodded and sped into the house, gently hanging the mirrors on his wall and shoving the so-called “food coloring” into his pocket.

Tom walked out, Matt now following. You three brought in all the groceries and put them away. You walked into the living room and leaned over the couch where Tord and Edd were sitting.

You glanced over at Tord. “I don’t want you guys bothering me at 2am because you don’t know how to cook,” you looked at Edd. “Or you’re too lazy. Because there are plenty of snacks now.” 

They shared a chuckle. 

“Hey (Reader)?” Edd looked up at you with joking puppy eyes.

You rolled yours.

“Yes?”

“Can you make me some toast?” he questioned. 

Your face dropped, causing him to laugh.

“Fine, fine. But you owe me,” you replied sarcastically, reentering the kitchen.

“Out, out,” you swatted your hand at Tom and Matt, causing the whole house to giggle.

You glanced around happily at the positive environment. Tom was smiling, even with Tord being in the house after all that had happened.

“Oh, (Reader),” Matt said, pulling his hand out of his pocket. “Here,” he placed the “food coloring” on the counter. 

You chuckled, moving it aside. You’d put it away later so Matt could have pink toast the next morning. You pulled the toaster out of a cabinet and plugged it in, grabbing bread from the fridge. You put it into the toaster and grabbed your phone, leaning against the counter. You scrolled through socials for a bit as you waited. Reading about some potion that had been discovered recently by some scientists. You scrolled past it, assuming it was some scheme for views, but who knows. It didn’t even say it was dangerous, so you didn’t pay it any mind. The toast popped up, catching your attention. You turned off your phone and put it in your pocket, grabbing the toast and ripped a paper towel from the roll. You placed the two on the counter and pulling forward the butter and taking a butter knife out of the silverware drawer. You began to spread it when Edd entered the kitchen.

“God, you take forever,” he joked, startling you.

You turned to him, letting out a breath. You elbow hit the glass container and the corkscrew fell out, the pink liquid spilled over the toast, soaking it. 

Edd reached over your shoulder to grab it. You turned to drop the knife in the sink and put away the butter. But before you could do that you noticed the tipped over bottle that previously was filled entirely of a light pink liquid and small flower petals.

You turned back to Edd to see the floppy bread in his hand.

“Oh-” he pulled it back from his mouth, his face contorting into an expression of utter disgust.

“How much butter did you put on this, jeez,” he dropped it on the paper towel and walked over to the sink and wash his hand. 

You exhaled. You had assumed it was food coloring, but the aroma slipping out of the small bottle in your hand quickly told you otherwise. It smelled like chemicals and Edd wouldn’t have been so appalled by the taste of food coloring. You didn’t panic, though light anxiety rose in your stomach, wondering if what Edd had just swallowed was even edible. You stared at it for a moment before tossing it.

“Sorry, dude.” You did the same with the toast and paper towel.

“It’s alright,” he glanced at the untouched stick of butter, immediately confused.

“Wait did you even put butter on that? The hell was on that??” his gaze shifted back to you.

“I- uh,” you gulped. You noticed the nearly empty glass of water on the counter and quickly gave it blame.

“I might have spilled water on it, I don’t know,” you lied. 

“Eh, I wasn’t that hungry,” he smirked.

“Wh- Dude!” he totally was just messing with you because you’d specified you didn’t want to be bothered.

You weren’t actually mad, of course, you found it kind of funny. But you lightly punched his arm. He did it back before walking back into the living room to continue watching TV with Tord.

Matt and Tom had gone back to their rooms. You decided to join the two on the couch. Dr. Why was playing and Edd and Tord were noticeably bored. Tord picked up the remote and switched through the channels. Nothing seemed interesting.

“Wanna take a walk or something?” you spoke up. 

Edd sighed.

“Yeah, sure,” the two sat up. 

You quickly joined them, headed to the door. You grabbed the key and opened it, waiting for the other two. They followed, closing the door behind them. Edd expression changed to the same one it had switched to earlier. He rubbed his eyes, clearly uncomfortable.

“Hey, are you alright?” you inquired, placing your hand on Edd’s shoulder.

Tord turned back to you two.

“Yeah- just a headache, sorry.” he massaged his temples, looking back up to see Eduardo.

He was walking up to the fence, about to begin some villain monologue- probably. Edd was greeted by the urge to growl said man’s name, but it came out a little differently.

“Hi, Eduardo!” he waved, smiling.

Tord and you were shocked by the reaction. Edd never hated Eduardo, but he didn’t like him enough to greet him kindly. All they ever did was fight.

“I-” Eduardo paused, staring at Edd for a moment.

“What?” Mark and Jon joined him.

“What’d he say?” Jon questioned, curious to know why Eduardo looked so confused. 

“How are you?” Edd rested his hands in his pockets, a light pink tint brushing his cheeks and the tips of his ears.

“What the f-” Tord began, interrupted by Eduardo.

“I- uh.. I’m fine...?” he glanced to the side. Not necessarily nervous, but definitely trying to figure out what was going on.

A reasonable assumption that crossed him was Edd was trying to win over his trust to easily strike on him. But he hadn’t really confronted Edd recently, so that would have been pretty random for someone who isn’t very violent. Another guess was something was wrong with the taller man’s head. Eduardo didn’t have time to ask before Edd continued talking.

“That’s good! Want to join us? We’re going on a walk,” he played with his hoodie string, seemingly nervous.

“The more the merrier,” he looked kind of shy.

“Edd, are you sure you’re okay?” you spoke, pretty concerned.

“Yeah, I’m good!” he giggled at your worried face.

He looked back at Eduardo, the shade of pink on his face burning slightly brighter.

“Don’t we like- hate each other?” Eduardo dropped his arms to his sides, moving past his classic villain pose.

“Do you hate me?” Edds face began to fall.

“Oh-! I’m.. not really?” Eduardo stressed to find the correct answer. 

He was pretty ready to leave the conversation but was honestly a little fascinated. He really wanted to know what was going on, assuming he’d need to listen to Edd to understand.

Edd lit back up.

“Well, come on!” he gestured at himself, you and Tord.

“Edd, I don’t think-” you started.

“I’m a little busy,” Eduardo backed up a bit.

Edd skipped closer to the fence, placing his hands on top of it. You hoped to God Edd didn’t catch feelings for Eduardo. You didn’t care if he was gay, but Eduardo??? Not just because of- well because it’s him, but also because you didn’t want to see the heartbreak. Eduardo had recently gone through a breakup according to what Matt told you Jon had said. And the previous partner was a woman. 

“Dude- did something happen?” Eduardo looked much more uncomfortable than concerned, but I mean could you blame him.

“Well, yeah.” Edd inched closer, smiling.

“I fell,” 

“Jeez, how hard did you hit your head?” Eduardo questioned, causing Mark to lightly chuckle.

You face-palmed, knowing exactly what Edd was about to say. Tord walked back inside the house, not really wanting to be apart of this.

“Hehe, not on the floor, silly,” Edd looked into Eduardos eyes.

“For you,” he let out quietly.

Eduardos eyes widened. He backed up quickly.

“Are you joking..?” Mark let out loud laughter, Jon was pretty confused.

“Edd- wtf??” you tried to pull him back to the house but he swatted your hand away.

“Why would I joke about that?” he inquired, the pink on his face deepening.

“jfc” you shook your head. Suddenly, you were hit with a realization. That liquid you spilled all over the toast earlier. The post you’d scrolled past about a potion. You did dabble in magic, and honestly love potions were hard to get right. You’d seen Edd with feelings for people before, and it wasn’t like this. He wasn’t this straight forward right away, and he wouldn’t mess with it if the other person was clearly uncomfortable. Holy shit, Edd is under a love potion.

Eduardo didn’t respond, quickly turning and running back into his house. The color had fallen from his face. Jon followed him curiously and Mark tried to catch his breath from the laughing. He walked back as well.

“Huh,” Edd backed up from the fence, assuming Eduardo was just shy or something. 

“Edd, we need to talk,” he glanced back at you.

“Okay,” 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

* I hope you liked it! I’m gonna make a part two, I just wanted to get this out because I felt bad about not doing so sooner. Lemme know if there’s anything specific you want to happen in the next part or if you have any criticism! I love your asks dude you come up with such cool ideas :DDD And don’t even worry about giving me too much to work with, go ham lmao- the more detail the easier it is to write the in-betweens- anyway see ya ^^

[shadlad24]

Five Funny Little Moments #30: Warrior…Princess…Tramp

Thanks for the encouragement, @screwyourdefaults! I’ll try again with these no matter how much fun I’m just not having with season two thus far, from an FFLM perspective. Anyway, without further ado… No, wait! CAUTION: I am bitter today! My stalker struck again mid-post-making and put me in an even worse mood. Sorry. / Skip this post if necessary. 🥲

.

So, Joxer spends this episode in a different place than is oft-remembered overall. I almost forgot that he lusted after Xena first and even saw Gabrielle as a child way back when. Which makes his later pining for her even more scummy, but there you go. Also, he is not yet Joxer the Mighty but rather Joxer the Magnificent here, which I actually forgot. And now reminds me of Gurkhan. Yikes, Jox.

Meg is awesome; I’ll give this episode that. But while she is usually remembered for being illiterate, she was also innumerate (another thing I forgot). And, of course, hilariously weird. Or is it just Lucy who’s a whackadoo? ’Cuz I well remember when Meg popped out of that cake in “Soul Possession” singing and dancing to the original, uh, lullaby that Lucy apparently used to put to her son Julius* to sleep with each night. What does THAT even mean? Did she find her infant son sexy, and that’s why her song for him was her go-to while acting as a prostitute dressed in a very risqué bikini and trying to seduce a bummed-out god? And what does that say about Rob who presumably signed off on Lu’s decision? Ahem. Anyway, this scene is a reverse of that moment. Instead of singing a lullaby to a potential, ahm, client, Meg’s sings a barroom song to “her” baby. After all her effort to impersonate Diana too (not to mention, success with King Lias and Xena)! LOLz Okie.

Oh, Gabrielle. First, you insult Xena by not being able to tell her apart from an acquaintance or complete stranger, despite having lived with and idolized the warrior princess for more than a year. Then, you don’t have the sense to duck when her chakram is coming right at you! Need I remind you what happened to King Lias’s crown after Diana threw the chakram? Why take that chance if you weren’t sure who was in front of you? 😂 Even Joxer knew enough to not just stand there! (Also, I like how he and Xena mirrored each other’s expressions for a couple of shots there.) And, naturally, Xena vented her hurt/frustration by not only pulling that stunt with the chakram but also unnecessarily breaking a bunch of stuff belonging to the people she’s trying to help. LOLz, part …who knows?

Oh, really, Xena? Then why do you still feel guilty and let that emotion rule your life, eh? Yet another instance of Xena being unable to practice what she preaches. heh Ah well.

Hey, look! Each major character gets a highlight this time around! Yey. And we have another multi-point moment. Double yey. One, Princess Diana just knew Xena was going to be a dumb-butt yet again and send the guy “holding” the baby flying, and thus, the baby flying. Two, three, four, and five, her daughter uses her final close-up to prove that she is the angriest little lady in existence (adorable and amusing; and, really, who could blame her? 🤣), poor Philemon nearly wets his pants, the baby enjoys her flight, and Diana finally catches something! Yaaaaay! You go, princess! 😝 We’ll take that last part as character/skill development rather than a plot hole, since your inability to catch anything is what tipped Philemon off to Xena playing your decoy last season. Also, bye, sweet little family. 🥲 ❤

.

Guess what! I think I may have finally defeated the bug! YAAAY! Also-also, my last post was my 250th! Yey. …Oh yeah!

Previous Season 2 FFLMs: #25 #26 #27 #28 #29

*Yup. Xenie hates Caesar, but Lucy named her son after the man and even considered naming her second son Roman. LOLz

[knit-wear-it]

AU: Training Day

Mood: In the Pantomime 17 (AO3), Ed is released from his bathtub prison so Jarley can send him off to do their bidding while they hide out at Lee’s. In an alternate universe, Harley & Ed spar together in Lee’s living room instead of having a serious conversation about Vicki Vale.  

Rating: Crack / Lolz / Jarley Fluff / AU

AU: Training Day, A Harlequin-Tumblr Exclusive

Ed slept on the couch while Lee took the bed in her spare room, and Ed listened in the dark for the Joker and Harley to talk or fuck or do something, but it appeared they were just sleeping. Boring.

Then in the morning, Harley reappeared, not looking particularly refreshed, and wearing a sporty combination of the electric-blue leggings from the day before with a neon orange sports bra, showing off a very hot little body indeed. Ed pouted at her flat stomach, jealous because he had this little pooch that he just couldn't get rid of.

“Damn, girl,” Ed smirked, giving her his best impression of entitled toxic masculinity. “You’re—“

Harley slapped Ed across the face, making him gasp. 

“Cut that shit out, Ed,” she snapped, mommy style. “This is fucking serious.”

Behind her, the Joker was watching as he smoked out the window, just looking… very unimpressed. He caught Harley’s eye, and something silent passed between them, and Ed knew they were both thinking they were wasting their time with him.

“Okay, okay,” he said in a rush. “I’m sorry, it’s the ADHD, I’ll concentrate, I promise. Tell me what to do.”

“I’ve seen footage of you fighting Black Canary and you’ve fought me,” Harley said grimly. “You’re strong, you’re fast, and you have some moves. Where did you learn to fight?”

“Where did I learn to fight?” Ed squinted at her, bewildered. 

“If we’re going to work together we need to train together so we can fight together,” Harley explained, nearly making Ed swoon.

“I wrestled in high school,” he mused, trying to be serious. “Since then, mostly Soulcycle, pilates, and box fit.”

Harley’s eyes widened incredulously. “Box fit?” 

“Yeah, like,” Ed bounced from one foot to the other, showing her his moves. “Jab, jab, cross! Uppercut! And... shimmie!” He swung his hips from side to side, bouncing on the spot as Harley stared at him like he’d sprouted a second head. 

“You learned to box from an aerobics class?” she demanded. 

“Well yeah,” Ed rolled his shoulders back, feeling judged. “Where did you learn to fight?”

“Twenty years of gymnastics, an underground Irish boxing club, and a teenage karate prodigey,” she snapped. 

“Oh,” Ed’s eyes widened. “So you should really be better than you are, right?”

The Joker snorted and turned away to smoke out the window to avoid Harley’s lethal glare. 

“Alright,” Harley sighed, looking around. 

She sourced a roll of duct tape and a pair of throw pillows from the couch, then taped them to Ed’s hands, and with Lee’s help, taped a pair around hers too. It all looked very silly but Ed tried to remain serious, because it was obvious Harley was struggling. She looked tired, stressed out, sad, and a little bit hopeless though she was trying to keep it together like the good mommy she was.

Ed seriously doubted the Joker was the sort to give her a pep talk—maybe just multiple orgasms, which was objectively better. 

“Okay,” Harley raised her pillow’d hands to cover her face as she spread her feet. “Show me what you’ve got.”

Ed imitated her posture and stance, then started prancing on the spot. 

Harley dropped her hands, frowning. 

“What the hell are you doing?” she demanded. 

“Staying light on my feet,” Ed huffed, trying not to pout that she was being so serious. 

“Fine,” she sighed, raising her arms again. “Whatever works for you.” She started shifting from one foot to the other, wholly focused. “Show me some of your moves.” 

Ed jabbed and she blocked it easily. He tried a jab-punch-jab combination and she blocked each of them, remarkably strong for those slender little bird arms of hers. He tried a jab-jab-cross, right-hook, and Harley blocked all of it, looking bored. 

She raised an unimpressed eyebrow and Ed narrowed his eyes, determined to impress her. 

This time he advanced on her instead of just showing her combinations. She blocked, blocked, blocked, backing up as he got her on the backfoot. Ed felt like he was finally getting some momentum when she ducked, pivoted, and kicked him in the chest just like she did at the Hill fundraiser, hard enough to make him gasp and stagger back. 

Harley lowered her leg, grinning as Ed rubbed his chest.

“Come on, Ed,” she taunted him, bouncing from one foot to the other, mocking him. She smirked and raised an eyebrow all sassy. “Show me what you got.”

Ed huffed again, narrowing his eyes in concentration before he attacked. She blocked and ducked, slipping right and left, moving too fast for Ed to hit her, and then after a few minutes of letting him chase her around the room, she kicked him in the chest again.

Ed scowled, even though really he was delighted to see her smirking, a light sheen of sweat on her chest as she gestured for him to attack her again. Behind her, the Joker lit a new cigarette, staring at her ass happily. 

They were all like one big happy family. Even Lee was in the kitchen watching with an amused look on her face as she made them breakfast. 

Then Harley attacked Ed before he had a chance to get his footing, forcing him to block and slip, imitating her with remarkable efficiency. 

“Good,” she encouraged, when he swiped at her head, missing her. “Good, faster. Come on, Ed, faster!” She laughed like she was having fun, and Ed followed her directives. She went in to kick him in the chest again, and this time he grabbed her ankle with the intention of pulling her leg out from under her. But instead of falling on her ass, she threw herself into a back handspring, kicking him in the face as she bounced off her pillowed hands and landed gracefully on her feet, throwing her arms up in a V-like gymnastics pose. 

“Owwwww,” Ed whined, his bottom lip jutting out as he rubbed his face. 

“Is a kick to the face really enough to take you out?” Harley scoffed. 

“Why doesn’t J have to train,” Ed pouted, flapping a hand at the Joker. 

“Because he’s freakishly strong and fast, and he can shoot a flea off your arm from twenty feet away,” Harley rolled her eyes as Lee offered Ed some ice for his face.  

Behind her, the Joker shrugged modestly, looking amused. 

“Thank you, Lee,” Ed cooed, giving her puppy dog eyes that made her chuckle and shake her head. Then he turned back to Harley. “Well if J’s fighting with us why don’t you two sparr and let me watch?”

“We don’t do that,” Harley frowned. 

“Ah c’mon, Puddin’,” the Joker drawled, flicking his cigarette out the window before he swayed up to her, raising a challenging eyebrow. “What’re you scared of, huh?”

“You’re injured,” Harley pointed out drily. 

“Bet I can still take ya,” J smirked, making Harley scoff. 

She hesitated as she thought it over, then shrugged helplessly and pulled off her pillow gloves. 

“Fine,” she agreed lightly, raising her eyebrows as she squared off with him. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

The Joker chuckled throatily and rolled those tasty lanky shoulders back while Harley planted her feet and held her fists in front of her face, all serious and professional.

“Show me what ya got,” the Joker taunted her, smirking.

Ed lowered himself onto the couch to watch, absolutely fascinated to see what would happen. 

Harley jabbed and the Joker swatted her hand away, shooting her an unimpressed look. They did this twice more, and J sighed like he was bored, spurring Harley to try a fraction hader, forcing him to duck a right hook. He straightened up with an intrigued hum and she jabbed at his face, hard enough to hurt him this time. 

But he caught her wrist, spun her around, and wrenched her arm behind her back at an angle that made her yelp as he forced her to double over, holding her there for a prolonged second before releasing her, looking smug. 

“I guess—“ he started to say, but Harley launched herself at him again, actually punching him in the jaw with an uppercut that made him laugh as his head snapped back. She went to kick him in the gut but he caught her leg, and yanked her forward, spinning her around so his arm was around her neck, making her huff and pant as she tried to get free. 

“Give up yet?” he asked her slyly. 

“Nope,” Harley gasped. 

She folded forward, throwing the Joker over her shoulder so he landed flat on his back, laughing weakly when Harley sat on his chest. She grabbed his arms and pinned them over his head. 

“I win,” she smirked triumphantly. 

The Joker flipped her onto her back so fast Ed gasped in delight. Then J sat on her stomach and pointed a sharp index finger at Harley’s forehead. 

“Bang,” he smirked lazily.

Harley locked her knees around his hips and flipped them over again, but just as quickly the Joker rolled over once more, with far less effort than Harley had to exert, and this time he pinned her arms over her head. 

“I win,” he declared. 

“Really,” Harley widened her eyes. She had her leg between his thighs, poised to knee him in the balls. “Don’t make me do it, J” she let her bottom lip stick out in a pout. 

The Joker hummed thoughtfully then bent down to whisper something in her ear, making her giggle and wrinkle her nose before she lowered her leg and he released her arms. 

Ed looked at Lee, his heart swelling. 

“They’re so cute,” he hissed, feeling privileged to see this private little moment between these dangerous people. 

A/N: Alright, that’s all from me for a while. I may do a four-parter called “Symmetry” at some point next year. I officially have almost two scenes (out of like, 150 scenes) drafted for The Rabbit Hole.

Wishing you all a happy new year. Pop over to FFN or Ao3 to leave your review of the Pantomime if you haven’t already!

PS: Asks are open for a couple more days if anyone would like to submit, but i encourage you to do it non-anonymously - it makes me feel like you actually exist, lol.

Like it, note it, reblog it, show me some love <3

[poppyseed799]

Okay so, I didn’t watch Tommy’s stream, just Quackity’s and then I watched Tommy’s vod to the part where he went to his embassy because LISTEN MAN FROM QUACKITY’S POV THAT LOOKED SUS AS HELL but nobody was talking about it so I knew it wasn’t bad so I had to figure out what was actually going on. But that’s the only thing from Tommy’s POV I’ve seen, so be fair to me here:

Does anybody else think Tommy’s being a little suspicious with Operation Pogback??? Does NOBODY ELSE find it WEIRD???

He RANDOMLY says they need a railroad from Pogtopia to Manberg. So that they can “get there faster”. Aside from the fact that railroads aren’t a very fast form of transportation compared to other things (I’m excusing that cuz Tommy LOVES railroads), Pogtopia literally isn’t even that far from Manberg. Like yeah it’s some distance but... WHY would they need to get there FASTER? It takes like a minute to run there. Also, they are trying to transport an entire ARMY. Railroads plus many people isn’t the best. It would be absolutely adorable to look at I guess, a bunch of block guys riding a rollercoaster into battle, but still weird.

Second of all, everyone argued AGAINST the idea. Not like they hated it, just “why a railroad?” because as I said that’s odd, and they pointed out that horses are much faster and Techno has a ton of horses. The weird thing about this? Tommy REALLY pushes for them to have a railroad, but DOESN’T give any good reasons WHY. If he just said “cuz I really like railroads” that would’ve made sense cuz it’s definitely in his character! The dude is obsessed with building those things! But he never uses that excuse, it sounds almost like he’s hiding the reasons. He basically just says “we have to” even though everyone gave reasons why they didn’t have to and Tommy had no good arguments against those reasons. He seems a little too serious about it.

Also a third thing which is a small thing. I don’t get why he had to give the whole “making a railroad” thing a name? Operation Pogback... the name was a collaborative effort so I’m not going to make theories based on the name. But the fact that he felt the need to GIVE it a name when it’s something so small as a railroad is weird to me. I could be misinterpreting and they were referring to the whole war as Operation Pogback? That’s silly but definitely possible. I guess Operation Pogback could refer to all of their plans to win the war but it’s still strange that something as small as a railroad (one in PLAIN SIGHT btw) would be included in that.

So basically... I find Tommy’s railroad suspicious but I don’t know what ulterior motives he has for it. Since he’s being so suspicious, it could be a traitor thing? But it could also be some sort of secret plan he has to win. One of my first thoughts is the Railway Skirmish, and how much Tommy liked to use railroads against Dream after that. My only problem with that is that it’s more of a funny joke and he could’ve totally admitted that to his teammates, right? And they probably would’ve agreed for the lolz.

Basically, I’m gonna look real stupid if the railroad means nothing, but for now, IT’S SUSPICIOUS AS HECK TO ME.

[aiwobonappetit]

gender crisis natsuki headcanon is confirmed now by me 😏 [explodes]i live to give him euphoria about his everything he deserves it 

*pic is there so i can find this post later when i need it 

me having nightly rabies under the cut 

so. yeah. why am i writing this all out? important ball ofc. 

tbh i just put more thought into how he processes his gender expression and experience and how he decided to just declare it himself. crying rn /j 

let me just. 

“ Mmm...I don't think it fits either.* I'm sorry, honey... I still feel like there's something in me that I want to express, whether it's through my clothes, my style, or even music. It's just...not only a manly feeling. “

*me asking him about how he feels about the label ‘agender’

“But I also loving feeling manly! Dad's taught me a lot about it and it still feels like an important part of me. But sometimes, I wonder what it's like to be something else. Like a switch! But also- the flip is quite slow and just depends on how I feel...”

“I'm sorry if that sounds confusing...”

“I'm just...I'm so happy! I didn't know you could be more than one thing at a time, or even nothing at all! I definitely feel like I'm a man and something else! But those two things exist together and not as separate identities...They're all me!“

-

ur probably thinking. [this fucking idiot bitch baby is putting too much effort into gender headcanon fucking LOSER whips and nae naes] (/lh) and yeah maybe i AM putting too much thought into smth a lot of ppl do for fun (idk how other ppl do this stuff but WHATEVER #LOLZ) 

im all or nothing w/ headcanons. and no-label [i do what feels right] natsuki is just. good. its great even! i lied, ITS WONDERFUL 

im doing it more out of a place of [i want natsuki to be happy as his true self because i know his mind is so expansive and reaches beyond social norms] rather than [i dont know what i am so i’ll project it onto my comfort character] (tho that is a good chunk of the catalyst for this) 

i know its not a big deal 🙄 but i dont want to throw this around lightly. identity is very important to the three of us and helping natsuki figure himself out in anything is smth i handle with extreme care and caution. i dont want to make him feel like he has to skip steps or do it a certain way. 

there was a very real warm-up and introduction to the idea and im very happy he was able to choose for himself in my mind instead of me pointing my finger and going “yes because i say so” i need the rational and realistic buildup of events and its reached its conclusion. ppl hc their f/os as x and y and z for their own reasons in their own ways. this is mine. 

i love natsuki always and if he changes then im right by him. i want him to love the body he’s in and the personality he blesses me everyday with. he’s my everything. 

[hunflowers]

an angsty blurb, if you will. this was a tough one to write but i’m sad so imma make y’all sad with me :) also, it was not at all supposed to be this long but i suppose i got carried away lolz. and happy thanksgiving for all of you that celebrate *nose boops*

she wanted to cry. that’s all she wanted to do lately, was lay in bed, staring at the ceiling or the wall or the window while she just cried.

nothing was how it used to be. she used to be a very happy person, but life got in the way. it sucked, because she usually laughed in life’s face and made her own path. but not anymore. now, she wanted to apologize for never listening and for thinking she knew what she was doing.

as a college student, life is already pretty tough. that was a given because, obviously, it was the college life. life was gonna throw curveballs left and right and you’d have to be able to catch them.

and she usually did.

but, with graduation approaching, she felt this unbearable weight on her shoulders she couldn’t seem to shake. maybe it was because she was seeing less and less of her boyfriend, or because her mother stopped talking to her, or because her father was never actually in the picture, or because the people she thought were here friends turned out to be backstabbing assholes, or because she was failing two classes that she needed to complete her psychology studies to avoid going another semester.

of course, those could be the problems, or maybe she was just getting her period early.

the only thing she really cared about right now was cuddling up to her boyfriend, and hoping he would take away her worries. but, how could she do that when he was never around?

it was the weekend and he promised to come to hers as a nice little vacation, just them two and no one else all weekend.

he lied.

it was half past nine on a saturday night and he hadn’t even so much as called her all day. clearly he forgot and y/n was just about fed up.

she had no one right now, and she figured she at least had him to keep her company while the world was crashing down on her. but she didn’t have anyone and this was where y/n decided to draw the line.

it wasn’t like he had anywhere important to be this night. in all fairness he had a few friends like her, and was just as busy with the pending graduation in their future. he had no reason to not be with her right now, but alas he felt otherwise. and y/n didn’t need this stress anymore. it wasn’t uncommon for him to forget coming over or texting or calling her nowadays. school was always his excuse, but she just thinks it’s because he’s tired of her and he doesn’t know how to break the news to her.

two years of a relationship was simply thrown down the drain because he couldn’t be bothered anymore. maybe he was actually with a new girl right this second, but y/n didn’t have the energy to try and investigate. she didn’t have the energy to even care at this point. so, she had it set in her mind to not care and to just end things with him before he could with her. because at least she’d feel a little bit stronger in the end.

so, when another hour went by without a text or a call, and she had finished all of the chinese food she ordered for two and half of the movies she set out to watch for the night, she figured it was time to ring him up.

it took a while for him to answer, and just when she was going to hang up, y/n heard the familiar voice that used to give her butterflies. “hello?”

“harry?” she could hardly hear him with the loud music blaring in the background. y/n had to scoff because of course the reason he dipped on her was to party it up wherever.

“uh– hold on one second!” and then a few moments later the loud music ceased in the background, and it was just the two of them, like she had hoped.

“hey, what’s up?” he questioned like he was completely surprised to hear from her.

“i assume you forgot about this weekend then,” y/n murmured as she tried to hold back the tears that began to edge her waterline.

there was a moment of silence as harry pondered over what his girlfriend could mean. “this week– oh, shit. baby, listen–”

“a party? really?”

“the guys were hounding me to go! i’m so sorry i forgot, i’ll be over first thing in the morning,” he tried to reconcile, but there was no point. this was beyond a fix.

“you didn’t have to go,” y/n hissed, slowly getting more and more pissed off at the sound of his voice.

“it was a tough week this week, i figured i could let loose, if that’s okay with you.” normally y/n was pretty easy going with things, not necessarily letting people walk over her, but she never thought too deeply into things, especially like this. she knows he’s allowed to have a life outside of her, but it annoys her that she’s hardly even been in his life lately. so no, it really wasn’t okay with her.

“and i figured you could let loose with me. that was the whole point of promising to spend time together, so we could be together and deal with our shitty weeks together.”

“y’know, i apologized, i don’t know what else you really want from me,” he spat.

i just want you here with me, she thought.

“i don’t really know what i want from you either.”

“i’m not talking about this anymore. i’m sorry, i’ll make it up to you tomorrow but i can’t talk about it right now.”

“then i can’t be with you anymore.”

then there was a deafening silence that y/n hated so much. but she had to, because life sucked lately and he was very much part of that. if she could gain back her happiness, this was a start.

being with harry felt more like a job than a relationship, and proved to be more stressful than her actual job and school combined.

what kind of relationship feels like that? a shitty one.

she doesn’t know how long there was no words spoken between one another. it was probably around thirty seconds but it felt more like a lifetime. and if he didn’t say something quick, she was going to hang up.

and as much y/n prayed harry would just concede and make this process a lot less difficult, she also prayed deep down that he would fight for her. because if he fought, then that would mean he still cared for her, maybe a tenth as much as she cared for him.

when he finally spoke up, the tears in her eyes finally broke past the dam. “y/n. . . what’re you saying right now?”

“i think you heard me,” she responded as coldly as she could without giving away that she was a sobbing mess.

“baby–”

“harry, you forgot we had plans this weekend. you’re always forgetting and i just– i’m so tired,” she whispered the end, covering her mouth as a pretty loud cry escaped past her lips.

“you could at least have the fucking decency to do this in person,” he snarled back at her.

“how could i?! you’re never around anymore!” she shouted over the phone.

and then he hung up the phone on her.

and instead of feeling a weight lifted off her shoulders, y/n felt as though gravity had grown stronger, wanting to swallow her down through the ground and put her out of her misery.

she sobbed into her hands, gasping for breath every so often because she was so busy crying she forgot to intake air. she sat on her couch for an hour, letting out all of her pent up sadness from the past few months, wishing she could go back to how things used to be, when she was living her best life.

then a pounding on her front door sounded throughout her small apartment, shocking her from her fetal position instantly. she knew it was harry, but she hardly had the energy to move from her spot in her despair.

she ignored him but he just continued to knock and knock and knock until she would answer. she didn’t want to face him, especially looking like this because she knew seeing his face would just make things worse.

“y/n open this goddamn door before i break it down!” he screamed through the wood. realizing her neighbors were bound to venture out in the hall soon to wonder what was happening or to shut him up, y/n practically ran to her door to get him to stop his shouting.

quickly wiping at her eyes, as if that would help her at all, she opened the door and saw his pretty face and she nearly broke down again right there. but she had to stay strong because this was her idea. she was brave enough to spew those words to him, she had to stay brave to go through with it.

harry had a hard look on his face, as expected, but the second he saw his girl, puffy eyed, red nose, red cheeks, and shaky hands, his heart broke. he should remain mad because who was she to break up with him like that, but he knew she was right.

he was hardly around anymore, and it wasn’t on purpose, it was just the way his schedule worked. but he figured she was okay with it and that she would understand so he never took the time to explain himself. but if he wanted to keep her, he would have to do just that.

he couldn’t imagine his life without her, because she was everything he ever wanted out of a girlfriend. yeah, they were young and he shouldn’t be thinking of her as his wife just yet, but she was the perfect girlfriend, and he hated that he took advantage of that.

not even bothering to shut the door after him, y/n turned and walked back over to her couch, figuring he would just close it anyway after he stepped inside.

“we need to talk,” he started, making his way over to her and sitting on the opposite end of the couch.

“you think?” she scoffed, pulling her pillow closer to her chest.

he had the urge to roll his eyes at her harshness, but refrained himself from doing so. “look. . . i know, trust me i know i’ve been a horrible boyfriend lately. i never meant for things to turn out this way and i do take responsibility for it because i know you put in a lot of effort lately and i don’t know how to explain it but–”

“well you better figure that out then.”

he bit his lip, getting angrier at her coldness. “but the best way i can explain it is that i knew you would always be there no matter what. i took your patience and your kindness for granted, and i’m sorry.”

y/n looked at him with a blank stare, waiting for a better apology than that. she still couldn’t just cave then and there because not only was it a weak attempt at her forgiveness, but because it seemed so insincere. “is that all you have to say to me?”

“no. i love you so much, more than i can even fathom. you mean so much to me, and i’ll do whatever it takes for you to stay by my side, honestly. i’ll give you your space if you need it, i’ll tell you i love you as many times as you need it, the same for i’m sorry. please, baby, i love you,” he reached forward and took her hands in his, and her cool ones were a major contrast to his warm ones.

she let out a quiet cry as she leaned her head down on his shoulder, taking in the soft scent of his cologne.

she was going to cave. she knew she’d never be able to go through with breaking up with him the second he’d spew out some bullshit apology. but she just loved him so much and he was the only person in her life who seemed to give a shit about her lately.

so she caved. “space from you is the last thing i want,” she murmured as she crawled into his lap, really embracing him as she continued to cry in his chest. he gently caressed her back, giving her all the time she needed to let it all out.

“all i needed was you and i would be okay. you’re all i wanted and you weren’t here. i’ve had the worst few months and you weren’t here to help me through it,” she ranted while she sobbed, gripping at his shirt tightly.

he murmured ‘i’m sorry’ over and over into her hair, his own eyes swelling with tears as she continued to just cry.

“i’m here now, you can talk to me now. i’m all yours for however long you want me, love.”

then she hugged him closer and looked up into his eyes before planting the softest, yet most meaningful kiss upon his lips.

maybe things would be okay again.

[fortunatelylori]

J0nereys in Winterfell: Let’s make this as uncomfortable as possible for everyone, shall we?

Right before the premiere, the Ds decided to stoke the dying ambers of the J0nereys relationship by saying that they didn’t have time to develop Jon and D*ny’s relationship in season 7, despite dedicating almost 5 episodes to it. But, now, they say, now we’re really going to see Jon and D*ny’s relationship blossom.  

So let’s see how Jon and D*ny spend their time now that they’re “together, together”.  (lolz ... they sound like toddlers).

Jon and D*ny share 5 scenes in this episode and they run the gambit from the strange and ridiculous to the deeply, deeply disturbing. And as with most of their scenes, they’re never really alone. Something always encroaches on the relationship in order to add another new layer of just sheer and utter desolation.

The “skip the awe and go straight for the fear” scene: 

Gods, this scene is unsettling! Everything from the bleak lighting, to the subdued military music, to the rivers of soldiers marching towards Winterfell. There is nothing triumphant or feel good about this scene. 

In order to fully understand this scene and Jon and D*ny’s reactions, I think we need to remember what D*ny said in season 7. There’s two important lines in there that come into play here. 

The first one is in episode 2 of season 7: 

Tyrion: On a night like this, you came into the world. 

Varys: I remember that storm. All the dogs in King’s Landing howled through the night. 

D*ny: I wish I could remember it. I always thought this would be a homecoming. Doesn’t feel like home. 

Since the start of season 7, D*ny has been chasing an elusive sense of belonging in Westeros while the people of Westeros seem hell bent on denying her that. 

No one in the North is acting directly hostile towards her. They’re just subdued, apprehensive and suspicious, as anyone would when faced with 100.000 foreign soldiers marching through their streets. But D*ny is unable to cope with this reality or even attempt to see things from the Northerns perspective, particularly since at the end of season 7, this is how she viewed her relationship with the North: 

D*ny: I’ve not come to conquer the North. I’m coming to save the North. 

The North has, unfortunately, not been informed of D*ny’s benevolence so D*ny is left feeling slighted by the long faces. Jon, who has now been completely colonized (at least in theory) by D*ny, is so attune to her crazy that he’s quick to offer an explanation and a pained smile: 

Jon: I warned you. Northerners don’t much trust outsiders. 

Yeah ... you also told her that they would come to see her for “what” she is, Jon. Which in D*ny’s world can only mean they will fall in love with her the moment they set eyes on her. No wonder she’s dissapointed. And you have only yourself to blame. 

So ... in the absence of masters to crucify and a crowd of brown people to surf, what is D*ny to do to get that validation she so desperately craves? 

Ah, yes. Good ol’ faithful!

In season 7 D*ny also said this: 

D*ny: They [dragons] were terrifying, extraordinary. They filled people with wonder and awe. 

Let’s see some of that wonder and awe, Winterfell!

People are literally hugging the walls! So I’m assuming not so much wonder and awe but certainly extreme emotions of terror. Well, she got, at least, 1 right. 

The Northerners she’s come “to save” are running away in fear and screaming. D*ny’s reaction: 

How does Jon feel about his “new love of his life” terrifying the people he claims to fight for? Who knows. D*ny’s ego blows him off screen. 

The “diplomacy for dummies” scene: 

You know what it’s like ... first time meeting your partner’s family. You’re sitting right across from them while they ogle you like you’re some kind of alien coming to abduct their precious offspring. You smile and pretend to be deeply invested in washing the dishes even though you eat off plastic plates at home. Hell, you even say you love ironing even if you send everything to be dry cleaned. I mean who has time for that shit, am I right?

Well, D*ny hasn’t had this extremely important life lesson hoisted on her until now. Luckily Tyrion lent her his copy of “Diplomacy for dummies” right before they arrived in Winterfell and she manages to hobble together something akin to a galaxy overlord feigning interest in the mere mortals around her: 

D*ny: Thank you for inviting us into your home, lady Stark. The North is as beautiful as your brother claimed. As are you. 

Honestly, the thing I find most insulting about this line doesn’t even have anything with D*ny, but with the Ds. They’ve already pulled this “woman fake complimenting another woman in order to appease her” shtick with Sansa and Lyanna Mormont. At this point, it seems to me they have no idea how women greet each other. 

Of course, D*ny’s attempt is shut down by a Sansa Stark that has decided to go all yolo on everyone’s asses this episode: 

Bitch, please! I’m way hotter than you. I’ve only spent the last 8 hours getting ready so that Jon eats his heart out when he realizes he’s having sex with the wrong relative. 

This frosty look is followed by a tortured: 

Sansa: Winterfell is yours, Your Grace. 

that has D*ny deciding real quick that in fact the North sucks, Sansa is a traitor and she’s not getting her adoration quota met at all by these ungrateful bastards that she’s come to liberate ... aaa ... save ... aaa ... conquer: 

How does Jon think the meeting of his queen/lover/aunt and his sister-cousin/owner of his heart/bane of his existence went? ..... Footage missing. 

The “Roasting of Jon Snow” scene: 

There is one key line in this scene that encapsulates the entire Jon/D*ny dynamic in this episode and it’s delivered by the Ds favorite misogynistic mouthpiece, one tiny Lyanna Mormont, to Jon Snow:  

Lyanna: Your Grace? But you’re not, are you? You left Winterfell a king and came back a ... I’m not sure what you are now. A lord? Nothing at all? 

Jon: It’s not important. 

Jon is doing his best karoake version of Nothing else matters in this scene (careful, Jon! Metallica is famously prickly about their copyrights) but the fact still remains. Through out this episode, when it comes to his interactions with D*ny, Jon is, in fact, nothing at all. He doesn’t express any opinion, he doesn’t react. He’s essentially dead inside and the woman whom he’s supposedly in love with has cost him everything: his position, the respect of his people, his relationship with his family and, ultimately, even his voice. 

In order to exist in D*ny’s world, Jon needs to make himself small because “it’s not important”. He isn’t important. Only D*ny is important. 

I’m sorry but the Jon Snow I know is a proud man. He’s the guy who was ready to kill someone for calling his father a traitor. Which is why, perhaps, he can’t help but slip in this scene and say this: 

Jon: I had a choice. Keep my crown or protect the North. I chose the North!

Perhaps we can now put to rest the argument that Jon didn’t need to bend the knee since D*ny was already willing to help with the apocalypse. And we should put it to rest not just because Jon basically gives everyone the cliff notes to the political Jon theory but because, most significantly, D*ny doesn’t contradict him. 

She doesn’t stand up in this scene and say: Actually I was ready to fight for you all without Jon Snow bending the knee. 

She also doesn’t take the opportunity to ask Jon about it later on in the episode. That’s because she knows she wouldn’t be in Winterfell if Jon hadn’t bent the knee. 

Tell me again how any of this is romantic? Especially when it ends with: 

Sansa: May I ask? How are we meant to feed the greatest army the world has ever seen? While I ensured our stores will last through winter, I didn’t account for Dothraki, Unsullied and two full grown dragons. 

Hold on there, missy! Where do you think you are? In some kind of democracy where you’re allowed to question the glorious leader?!? Besides, I’ll have you know that D*ny is the very smartest leader evah and she has totally prepared supply chains for her humongous army and ... 

Oh ... Well, Sansa, if you must know I have it on very good authority from D*ny’s stans that the loot train attack was a strategic move on D*ny’s part and she didn’t actually burn any of the food. And now she’s going to tell you just how you’re going to feed all these people, ok? 

Sansa: What do dragons eat anyway?

D*ny: Whatever they want. 

.....

Yeah, sorry, Sans. D*ny’s a little busy at the moment eating Jon’s soul so you’re going to have to figure it out. 

You know ... when Emilia Clarke said that D*ny would try to make the Starks and the North like her despite the fact that they clearly don’t, I thought it would last more than 5 minutes of screen time. It basically took one frosty look and the smallest bit of attitude for D*ny to begin to threaten the Northerners and Jon’s family members with death via dragon. 

You might wonder how Jon reacts to all of this? And if you are ... what the hell is wrong with you?!? The man is “nothing at all”. We’ve already established that. 

The “expiration date” scenes: 

Davos, bless him, is attempting to save Jon’s reputation and crown despite the brooding bastard’s best efforts to rid himself of both by proposing a marriage alliance between Jon and D*ny at the end of the war. Tyrion is, surprisingly, subdued in this scene despite knowing that Jon and D*ny rubbed love organs together. 

But it’s Varys that really shoots down the idea for whatever reason. It’s a bit early to really figure out why Varys isn’t keen on the idea of Jon and D*ny marrying but he does utter the best bit of J0nereys foreshadow in the whole episode: 

Varys: Respect is how the young keep us at a distance. So we don’t remind them of an unpleasant truth. 

Tyrion: What is that? 

Varys: Nothing lasts. 

Yeah, I’d say there’s more than one unpleasant truth lurking about in Winterfell, my dear Lord Spider. 

I’m pretty sure that at least a few people had an orgasm when the marriage alliance was proposed, feeling as if this all but ensures that J0nereys is endgame. 

But here’s the thing: this idea of a marriage between Jon Snow and Daenerys Targareyen is being introduced too late into the game. This would have made sense back in season 7, before Jon bent the knee. 

Right now, the damage to Jon’s reputation is already done and the whole world is about to find out he’s a Targareyen. How do you think the people of the North will feel about two Targs on the throne? It’s not going to happen. Not only that but since Jon’s claim supersedes D*ny’s, she would never be able to marry him and rule as Queen of the 7 kingdoms. She would have to pick one over the other. 

Which means that all this scene can hope to be is a pleasant smoke and mirrors technique to distract everyone from the fact that J0nereys is essentially whiling their time away before the inevitable grave of the parentage reveal. 

At this point, we’re about halfway through the episode. We’ve already been informed that Jon and D*ny’s relationship won’t last. D*ny is just about ready to let the dragons loose on Sansa and we have yet to have an actual scene of these two people talking. 

So ... what is on our love birds minds? ... Sansa, of course. 

D*ny: Your sister doesn’t like me. 

Jon: She doesn’t know you. If it makes you feel any better, she didn’t like me either when we were growing up. 

When I first heard this line, it really stung that the first piece of personal information Jon shares with D*ny on screen is a rehash of the old “Sansa was mean to Jon when they were children” show invention. However, I’ve come to reconsider this line and for reasons I will touch upon tomorrow in my Jonsa meta, I find this kind of adorable. 

At the moment, let’s just say Jon is trying very hard not to antagonize D*ny and Sansa’s reactions to her are making it difficult which in turn frustrates Jon.

Speaking of: 

D*ny: She doesn’t need to be my friend. But I am her queen. 

(pointed pause)

D*ny: If she can’t respect me ... 

D*ny gets interrupted by the Dothraki that have been sent to feed her dragons so she never finishes what she was going to say. But ... what was she going to say? What kind of punishment does she believe is warranted for Sansa’s frosty reception and food question?

While Sansa is making it very clear she doesn’t like D*ny, she has yet to disrespect her. But as we’ve come to see with D*ny, she no longer knows the difference. Something Jon is painfully aware of. Otherwise why wouldn’t he be more outwardly concerned about his lover threatening his sister to his face? Talk about disrespectful ... 

Also: 

Sansa: What do dragons eat anyway? 

Dothraki: Only 18 goats and 11 sheep. 

Yeah ... let that sink in. 

The “It looked easy when Hiccup was doing it”scene: 

This scene hurts my souuuuuuul! You’d think with the kind of money HBO sunk into this TV show and into the Ds, they’d manage to come up with something other than a lame rip off of How to train your dragon for Jon’s first time riding Rhaegal. 

The cutesy tone feels anachronistic here for several reasons: 

D*ny’s dragons are not Toothless! Toothless is an angel on Earth and I love him to bits. He does not go around burning people to a crisp or killing little girls. The dragons in GOT have been called weapons of mass destruction not just by GRRM but by the Ds themselves. I’m not sure trying to parallel Hiccup with Jon really works in the context in which Jon is basically riding an atomic bomb. 

Also, this is a momentous moment for Jon. He’s about to ride the dragon that was named after his father. You’d think they’d go for something more emotionally fraught and majestic but no. We’re playing this for laughs, guys. 

In a romantic context, this scene is also deeply frustrating. Because just like in every other J0nereys scene, the Ds have taken a trusted trope (a couple bonding over one of them teaching the other something) and completely wrecked it. 

D*ny does encourage Jon to ride the dragon. It’s actually one of their cuter moments, with Jon being awkward and unsure and D*ny being cocky:

Jon: I don’t know how to ride a dragon. 

D*ny: Nobody does. Until they ride a dragon.  

Jon: What if he doesn’t want me to? 

D*ny: Then I’ve enjoyed your company, Jon Snow. 

The banter is cute ... for about 10 seconds. Until Jon is hoisted into the air, it becomes clear D*ny has no intention of teaching him anything and Jon is flinging around, inches away from being thrown off the dragon and into the abyss of death. Then it becomes less cute. 

Jon eventually lands, somewhere, next to a waterfall that has magically appeared in what is Siberian tundra because ... reasons. 

Despite looking like he was in some kind of never ending nightmare through out the ride, Jon ends the exercise with: 

Jon: You’ve completely ruined horses for me. 

No worries, Jon. She’s also about to ruin your sex life and your will to live so there’s a lot to look forward to. 

In the behind the scenes footage, the Ds said that this is the place where Jon used to hunt as a child and he decides to show it to D*ny. You’d think this kind of romantic motivation would somehow find its way into the actual dialogue in the scene but no ...

Instead we get this generic line that is not really given any kind of context:  

D*ny: We could stay 1000 years. No one would find us. 

The interesting thing about this scene is that Jon has shared a similar moment with someone in the past that gave off the whole “1000 years” feel. Let’s have a look:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1XQ1eTpPL6c

Unfortunately, I can’t embed the scene here but this is Jon/Ygritte atop the wall. There are no lines of dialogue in the whole scene. However, with Ygritte, Jon initiates contact and actually leads her to the other side of the Wall, to show her the expanse of the 7 kingdoms, something Ygritte has never seen. All of it is filmed just as the sun sets around the two kissing, with music swelling in the background. It’s all very clearly romance coded. 

So how does Jon respond to D*ny echoing the same kind of feeling: 

Jon: We’d be pretty old. 

That Jon Snow, huh? He really has a way with the ladies. 

They do kiss in this scene so that’s something but it’s at D*ny’s invitation: 

Jon: It’s cold up here for a Southern girl. 

D*ny: So keep your queen warm. 

They’ve shared 2 one on one scenes in this episode and D*ny felt the need to remind him she’s the queen in both of them. I guess titles aren’t important when it comes to Jon. When it’s D*ny’s titles, they are very, very important. 

You know what they say: All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others. 

And because this scene wasn’t odd or awkward enough already, it ends with this: 

Many people have speculated on what Jon’s thought process is during this stare down. Most have come to the conclusion that Jon is thinking about how to get D*ny’s “kids” to like him. 

Except that any romantic kiss where one partner opens their eyes mid-kiss, is a a huge red flag that the person in question isn’t actually into it. So I’m thinking he’s inwardly screaming: The moron just handed me a dragon on a silver platter! Let’s get this dance started!

*thanks for reading, guys! We will reconvene tomorrow for the Jonsa edition of this episode

*none of the artwork in the meta is mine; thank you to all the content creators! 

[allicekitty13]

The Corner Store

When Alice Brandon decided to take a job at a nearby gas station, she had no idea she’d be getting to know the love of her life.

Story Under the readmore

also on AO3 and FFN

It was just another day, the first day off Alice had in almost a week. She was sat at home, rereading Les Mis when she was overwhelmed by the sudden craving for some soda and chocolate. Slipping on her ballet flats, she debated a jacket, it was October but relatively warm for the season. 

Deciding against it, she peeked her head into her mother’s room. “Hey mom, I’m just headed off to the corner store real quick. "The older woman gave a muffled reply indicating that she’d heard her daughter. Mrs. Brandon had been picking up some extra late shifts lately and consequently had been napping quite often.

Alice was 23, free to come and go as she pleased, but she liked letting her mom know where she was headed, it felt like a sign of respect. Once outside, she decided against the car. The store was only a block and a half away, and Alice always loved a good walk. Especially at this time of year. Autumn was her second favorite season, the way the air smelled, the inexplicable energy everybody seemed to feel. It was peaceful to her. 

She made the short trek to the shop, quickly picking out her favorite soda and candy bar combination and adding a bag of chips to save herself a second trip later. Though, everyone knew she’d be back regardless. She’d made frequent trips to this shop daily as far back as she could remember. 

From the day her parents had trusted her to make the short journey alone, stopping here had been a part of her daily routine. She knew every cashier by name; a few even had nicknames for her. Of course, she thought, glancing at the woman working the counter, she was sure some of them didn’t even know she existed. Her thoughts drifted to one of the night shift workers, Edward, whom she wished didn't know she existed. She and Edward had graduated together; he’d always been a bit of a moody jerk. She tried to avoid the place when she saw his vehicle outside. 

Deciding she was happy with her selection, she approached the counter, waiting patiently for the sole cashier to finish what she’d been doing. Rosalie Hale was the longest-running employee Alice could remember, as much a staple in the store as Alice herself. Finding a stopping-place in her paperwork, the tall blonde stood and came over to help the smaller woman. 

Alice had to take a moment to stop and admire the girl. She was roughly five years her senior and was the embodiment of everything Alice aspired to be. Rosalie had a way of commanding all the attention in a room effortlessly, always the epitome of cool and confident. She could be a bitch, but never in a mean way, rather in a way that forced you to respect her. She’d mastered the look of ‘I don’t care.’ in a way that still came off as professional. Every time Alice was in her presence, she was filled with intimidation and admiration. 

Rosalie didn’t speak a word as she rung up the items, only opening her mouth to read off the total. She paused for a moment as she bagged up the snacks. "Hey, you’re Alice Brandon, right?" 

"Yes,” Alice stated in confusion, wondering what on earth Rosalie could want with her, and shaken that someone so impressive could actually know her name.

“Did you apply for a job here?”

“Oh,” Alice had forgotten about that entirely. It had been about two months ago after an argument with her boss. Tiring of the way she was being treated at the grocery store, she’d applied at the small gas station in an act of defiance. “Yeah, I did.”

“Awesome, Ed just fucking informed me he’ll be leaving us in a week. Couldn’t even give me decent notice, the jackass. Anyway, can you start Thursday?" 

Thursday? Alice thought to herself, that was so soon. Besides, she’d smoothed things over at the grocery. She had just picked up a new car payment, though, and it would be nice to have the extra money around to help with that. Making a quick decision, she accepted, "Sure, Thursday sounds great." 

"Perfect, you wanna come back at like eight tomorrow so we can take care of the paperwork bullshit?”

“Yeah.” Alice tried not to sound too excited about the opportunity. “I’ll be here, thanks, Rosalie.”

“Sure, whatever.” The girl waved her hand, indicating she was done with the conversation and walked back over to her paperwork. Alice made her way out of the small shop, trying to look cool and calm as she strode through the parking lot. However, as soon as she reached the street and was out of the shop’s view, she took off in a sprint, excited to get home.

Upon reaching her home, she proceeded to bound up the front steps positively beaming. “Cynthia!” She exclaimed, running to her younger sister’s room. “You’ll never believe what’s just happened!”

“What?” The younger girl questioned, looking up from her phone. Cynthia was 15, a freshman in high school, and usually completely absorbed in her phone. She was a beautiful girl, short for her age with luxurious long blonde hair often pulled up into a bun. She set her phone on the bed next to her and turned to look at her sister intently.

“I was just at the corner store, remember how I applied there about a month ago? Rosalie offered me a job!”

“Who’s Rosalie?”

“The really cool pretty blonde who’s always there.” Cynthia simply shrugged, causing Alice to roll her eyes. “The point is, I just got hired!" 

"That’s cool, I guess.” The smaller girl picked up her phone, clearly uninterested and done talking. 

Alice shook her head lovingly at her sister and went ahead into her own room, collapsing on the bed. Turning her head to stare at her closet, she began contemplating what to wear tomorrow. Deciding she needed some help with such an important decision, she rang up one of her best friends. Of course, Jake didn’t answer, it was typical. Jacob Black was notoriously bad at answering his phone. She sent off a quick text, “Hey Jake, call me back ASAP. I have NEWS!!!!”

Since Jake was a nogo, she tried Bella, who was also no answer. Forgoing the text message knowing her friend would IM her later, she made a final effort and opened Facebook to message Leah.

Leah Clearwater had been working abroad in the UK for the past three years. Calling and texting added up overseas, so the pair had taken to communicating mostly via Facebook. It was only one in the afternoon, making it nine in London; hopefully, that meant Leah was still awake. 

“Hey, lovely," Alice typed. "Got some great news.”

Luckily, she didn’t have to wait too long for a response. “Hey, girly!! What’s the news?”

“You know that corner store by my house? Guess who’s now employed there!”

“Really!! Alice, that’s amazing!! I always knew you’d end up working there. They really should give you a plaque on the wall reading 'Customer of the decade’ lmfao.”

“lol”

“Anyway, love, I’ve gotta go. I’m on my way out for a date!!”

“ooooo Good luck. I want details later!!”

“Lolz, Luv ya

Alice locked her phone and set it gently on the table, overflowing with stuffed animals beside her bed. Perching on the edge facing her closet, she stared intently into the abyss of clothing. Alice nodded to herself with determination and tucked her short dark hair behind her ears. She stood and began to look through her dresses, trying to figure out just what she would wear tomorrow. 

[sonicchaos-fanfic]

| Sonic Chaos | Chapter Nine: Sticks and Stones

(lol here I am again nine months later lolz. Y'all are probably sick and tired of me taking such long hiatuses..all I have to say is...I have no excuse. School is hard. T_T I did this in one shot so I’m sorry about any typos!!)

                                                 ~ Chapter Nine ~

The trio walked for about half an hour until they decided to take a break for the night. They discovered a small clearing where an old, swollen dead tree had fallen many years ago. They settled around a fire that Sticks had created. Sonic was tossing his newly discovered emerald up and down in one hand.

“I wonder how many of these are still out there,” he said.

“Yeah,” Amy said, lying on her back and flipping through an ancient book given to her by the seer. Although she couldn’t understand the language, she enjoyed looking at the pictures and creating stories in her head.

“Well, I hope we find them soon. This place is nice, but I’ll admit, I’m getting kind of homesick.” Sonic paused to yawn.

“Yeah, I miss home too,” Amy replied. She set down her book and went to warm her hands by the fire. Sonic went from tossing his emerald to spinning it on the tip of his finger. Sticks watched both of them with curiosity.

“What’s your home like? Is it different from here? Is it better?” she asked.

“Ehh, It’s just like any other world. Same sun, same plants and animals, same kinds of people...” Sonic waved his hand mindlessly.

“If it’s the same, then why do you miss it so much?”

“Well...I guess when I say that I miss home, I mean that I miss my friends more than anything else, ya know?” Sonic smiled at her.

“Yeah, me too. I miss baking with Cream.” Amy said. She hugged herself and looked solemnly to the ground. Sticks noticed a gleam in her eye that was very familiar. She vaguely remembered seeing that kind of look from someone else long ago.

“Oh, I see...” Sticks thought for a moment, “What are your friends like?”

“Amazing,” Amy giggled, “they’re all so amazing.” 

   Amy took time to describe some of her adventures with the gang to Sticks while Sonic listened peacefully, occasionally adding in a couple extra details when Amy forgot. Sticks listened with admiration. Then, Amy asked Sticks about her own family.

  The badger’s eyes dulled a little. She lost her smile and turned away. She stared at the fire intensely, as if trying to see something within it. Her face contorted as she thought to herself. 

“My family? Well...it’s been a while. It’s hard to remember,” she said.

 Amy and Sonic looked at each other with concern. 

   “My momma and papa were both really smart. Every day, they would try to teach me something new! Like...how to make a trap, or why turtles' shells aren’t soft. My mom would explain things like the turtles’ shell through magic stories. I used to believe them, but now I know better...”

  Sticks’ parents were both scientists. Most days her they would be consumed in their books, always researching and recording every new thing they discovered. They also were expert survivalists. When they weren’t studying, they would take Sticks out on adventures through the jungle, where they would teach her all sorts of things. They taught her about all of the different types of plants and animals, about how to make tools and clothes out of the resources found around them, and even how to hunt efficiently. 

   Exploring the wild wasn’t the only thing they would do though. Her mother always told her about all the myths and legends of the land and would show her the ancient trinkets and artifacts she would discover on her travels to the ancient temples.

But those memories are kind of hazy...” At the sight of Amy’s worried expression, Sticks began to explain.

  One night, she wasn’t sure exactly how long ago, there had been a terrible storm. The thunder clapped like clanging metal and lighting flashed terribly across the sky. The wind blew with a force that could move mountains, thrashing and ripping the trees apart. The rain fell heavier than Sticks had ever seen. She remarked how it felt like she were actually underwater. 

  That night, she and her parents were caught in the storm. They hurried as fast as they could through the thick greenery, squinting in a desperate effort to see through the darkness and pouring rain. They were hunched low and held each other’s hands firmly so that they wouldn’t lose track of each other. As they got nearer to the treehouse, the same one that Sticks lived in currently, her father had tripped and fell. 

  She and her mother turned around. A giant branch had fallen on her father’s back, pinning him to the muddy floor. As the two rushed forward to help him, thunder and lightning boomed right above their heads. The wind carried a punch like no other, and a tree suddenly was uprooted a couple of feet away from them. Her mother assessed the situation; a grim look befell on her face. Sticks tried to grab the branch and help her mom free her father, but her mother suddenly grabbed her and pulled her to the side. 

 “Sticks, listen to me. You need to go straight home. I will stay here and help Papa, but you need to go right now!” she said. 

 Sticks, not understanding, protested. Thunder roared again. 

“We’re running out of time! Listen to me, you need to save yourself, okay? Don’t worry about me and Papa. You just go and run as fast as you can, and when you reach the house you go into your room and lock the door shut. Do you understand?” her mom cried. “Sticks, do you understand? Do you remember everything we taught you?” 

   Sticks, frozen in fear, nodded her head furiously. Her mother then pulled her in and hugged her tightly. That hug was the warmest Sticks has ever felt that night. When they parted, her mother kissed her on the forehead. The woman’s eyes were glassy and her cheeks were wet. Sticks had figured at that moment that some rain much have gotten stuck in her eyes.

“I love you so much, Sticks. We both do.” said her mother.

Thunder exploded above them again.

  Desperate, her mother cried for her to run, and Sticks, although very reluctantly, followed her orders. She ran as fast as her little legs could take her. Being as small as she was, it was hard to see exactly what was behind all of the shadowy masses that surrounded her. She shivered every time her shoes hit the muddy floor and caused a splash. She panted and cried out in fear as the storm continued to escalate. Loud crashing, howling, screeching, and splashing engulfed her and filled her ears and head. It was like a nightmare.

  Just when she felt like she could give up, she happened upon the treehouse. She scaled up the latter and dashed inside, going straight into her room just as her mother ordered. For the rest of the night, she couldn’t sleep. The monstrous storm has rattled the walls all night.

 The next morning, the storm had left just as quickly as it had arrived. Sticks stepped outside to see nothing but the destroyed remains of the hurricane. Broken, uprooted trees her scattered about all helter-skelter. Sticks grew worried, her parents hadn’t come home yet. 

  Sticks recalled that she had searched the surrounding area for days. But they were nowhere to be seen. She looked and looked and looked, and found nothing. They had just completely vanished. 

 “I haven’t seen them since...I always thought that they probably got lost on the way home and went somewhere far away. My mom always told me how confusing the jungle could be, after all,” Sticks looked up to Amy, who appeared to have been wiping her eyes. 

 “What’s wrong?”

  Sonic had gotten up by this point and went to comfort Amy. She tried hard not to show her emotions in front of Sticks. Being able to keep herself from tearing up, she told Sticks that she was staring at the fire too long and her eyes had gotten too dry. 

   After some time passed, and the young badger had fallen asleep, Amy went towards the fire to put it out. Sonic was still lying beside it on a log, staring up at the sky. Amy tried not to stare at him as a thought crossed her mind. Sticks was asleep, so they had some privacy. Maybe, she thought, she could try to have that particular conversation with him again. 

   She sort of squirmed uncomfortably to herself as she tried to think of a way to start the conversation naturally. Every couple seconds, she would glance to him out of the corner of her eye, almost opening her mouth to talk to him, but never quite going through with it. She blushed. Why was she so nervous all of a sudden? She’s never been this shy about her crush on him before, so what was different?

   Finally, she mustered up the courage to speak, but when she turned to talk to him, he had fallen asleep. She had a sinking feeling in her chest and frowned at the missed opportunity. Sighing, she finally put out the fire and found a spot nearby to sleep. 

   As she lied down on a bed of leaves and closed her eyes, she felt a sudden disturbance in the air. It wasn’t necessarily a sound or even a movement, but nonetheless, she sensed a presence nearby. Her eyes shot open. Her limbs felt cold and it seemed as though the darkness surrounding her became even more black and empty. Even the tiny slivers of the moonlight peeking through the trees went out like a candle. All of the creatures of the night went silent, leaving an unsettling emptiness lingering in the air. An overwhelming feeling of danger consumed her and she stayed frozen in place for a few seconds. There was a faint whisper. Amy quickly sat up. She looked around her in an effort to find where the noise came from, but couldn’t see farther than her nose. She wanted to call out for Sonic or Sticks, but it was as if her vocal cords stopped working. Then, she saw it. 

Two eyes. Bright and piercing through the absolute darkness. They were wide open, vibrant and lifeless at the same time. Unblinking. Curious. 

Amy felt as if she were paralyzed. Fear had risen up inside her so much that she began to sweat. She wasn’t sure if the feelings she had were real or not, much like the thing she was seeing. It was almost primal, instinctual. Fight or flight? Fight or flight?!

 Then it spoke. 

“Can you see me?” it was a female voice. 

  Without a word, Amy nodded her head. Although she was still terrified, the concerned tone of the voice somewhat eased her nervousness. The woman asked “Really?” Amy nodded again. The eyes made an expression of relief and moved around like they would if they were attached to a face, even though the face wasn’t visible. 

“Oh thank the stars, I was worried,” said the voice. Then the eyes made an expression of shock and looked back at Amy. “Oh goodness, I’m sorry! You must be frightened beyond your wits. Don’t worry, I’m not going to hurt you,”

  Amy, for some reason, was comforted by this, and she was able to relax a little more. 

“I came to see you because I needed help,” said the woman.

  Amy gave the eyes a look of suspicion, and she asked for the woman to come closer and show herself. The woman explained that she couldn’t. In fact, she wasn’t even physically there. She was projecting herself from her physical body, which was trapped in a prison. Eggman’s prison. She explained that she was a spirit that had been asleep for thousands of years and that Eggman took her prisoner upon discovering her tomb. 

“He claims that he wants to use my power to take over this world, and because I’m in such a weak state, I’m not strong enough to fight back and escape. But then I found out that you and your blue friend were here to stop him! So tonight I mustered up all the power I had left to try to visit you through my spirit, but it only works at night, which is why I had to wake you up from your sleep.” 

 “How do I know that you aren’t one of Eggman’s tricks?” Amy asked. 

“I can prove it to you! While I was watching over you, I was able to use my powers to access your dreams. You have been having many visions, haven't you? About a kingdom long ago?”

 Out of thin air, a smokey cloud of light formed between the woman and Amy. Inside was an image of the ruins of a lost kingdom, with the palace carved into the side of a waterfall. Amy gasped, it was the same place where she had dreamed about just recently. 

 “All of those visions and dreams you have been having are actually my memories. When you and your blue friend discovered my tomb a few days ago, you happened to absorb the powerful magic that was protecting my soul. Therefore, at least for the time being, our spirits are now connected. That’s how I knew how to find you.” 

Amy blinked in astonishment. The woman continued.

“Eggman happened to reach me before you two did, which is why my box was broken when you discovered my resting place. He’s been keeping me, prisoner, ever since...”

  Amy thought for a moment, she seemed hesitant to trust the woman. The woman sensed this and her eyes looked gloomy. The eyes looked over to the figure just a couple feet away, snoring loudly and curled up on top of a log. Amy followed her gaze. When the woman noticed that Amy was keeping a close eye on her, she stopped staring. 

 “I understand if you are hesitant to believe my story. How about I give you some time to think about it?” 

  The eyes disappeared. The heavy darkness subsided and the animals began to chirp and croak just as normal. The slivers of moonlight suddenly reappeared, and Amy anxieties went away. She sat in silence for a moment, not really sure if what she experienced was a dream or not. 

Chapter Eight

Chapter Ten Coming Soon

[todorokiprotectionsquad]

Hey. Hey. What if Bakugou is in a band during his down time, to blow off steam (like on weekends or something). What if shouto goes home one weekend (his dad is out of town) to hang out with Fuyumi. And they go to this club. And wait. Is that bakugou??

OKAY YES DID YOU SEE THAT TDBK ART TOO where bakugou throws his shirt at todoroki or w/e.. so good.. i’m trying to link it if i can find it lolz 

also this got long so i cut it (:

bakujirou is one of my favorite brotps ever like ever since i saw them sitting next to each other on the bus in the very beginning of the series, i thought they’d be cool friends. i was actually so hyped to see they got an arc working together (sort of)

that’s my roundabout way of saying it’s probably jirou’s band. bakugou’s like don’t fucking tell people that i’m in ur emo band. and jirou is like duh i obviously don’t want them to know u ugly 

anyway bakugou wears black tanks to drum because he gets ridiculously sweaty and the thing is that his arms are so sexy like they’re glistening and drumming gets his blood pumping hard so his veins are poppin’ 

combine that with his permanently stern/irritated/focused look and todoroki is gone

fuyumi is like, hey didn’t you go to school with that girl (jirou)? and todoroki doesn’t even hear her, his jaw is dropped to the floor because fUYUMI THAT’S BAKUGOU I TOLD IZUKU BAKUGOU WAS IN A BAND

todoroki is like, “not to be a groupie but i’m gonna hang out so i can meet the band members when they come off stage.. i just wanna say hi to jirou since she and momo were friends at ua..” then he “runs into” bakugou

oh yes i aged them up for this i hope that’s okie

todoroki doesn’t even get to pretend to say hi to jirou, because apparently he’s in bakugou’s way 

bakugou just fuckin’ shoulder slams into todoroki like he doesn’t notice (it’s all about subtly u know) and then he turns back and glares and he’s like icyhot..? what the fuck are u doing here

todoroki is internally freaking out. did he just call me hot? oh wait wasn’t that my nickname in high school shit i should say something back i just-

todo’s just standing there staring back at bakugou, but it’s that calm stare where you really can’t tell if todoroki is thinking or if he’s giving you a cold look or whatever and bakugou forgot how much that pissed him off.. but he also forgot how damn pretty shouto is

so when todoroki finally speaks, he’s just like, “you ran into me”

bakugou fucking loses it. you can see little flames fire up in his dark crimson eyes and he narrows his eyes at todoroki like, tf did you just say to me? i’ll kill you - sorta look. but he just rolls his eyes and starts to walk off before he fucking pushes todoroki up against the wall and -

“what are you doing?”

out of the corner of his eye, bakugou sees todoroki run a hand through his hair, he sees those two toned eyes flicker down at him like he’s looking down on bakugou

it’s really all about miscommunications w these idiots

in actuality, todoroki is checking bakugou tf out because baku has the hem of his black tank top pulled all the way up so he can wipe his forehead… like obviously bakugou is ripped and has v lines carved from the gods.. but they’re just backstage, which still counts as a public place, right? so what is bakugou doing..

he’s trying to kill todo, obviously

“do you have a fucking problem”

“don’t you have a dressing room or something?”

“get the hell off my back, icyhot”

“wow there’s a lot of sexual tension here”

“stfu denki. go swallow ur girlfriend somewhere else”

todoroki sighs. obviously this was a bad idea, it’s not going anywhere and he’s pretty sure he’s just pissing bakugou off.. so he tries to slip away but bakugou is like, so you’re just gonna leave? 

at this point, todoroki’s nerves are nonexistent. he’s just like, yep, this is exactly how i remember bakugou. so he just bites back, “yeah i’m leaving. did you want a goodbye kiss or something”

and bakugou is like ..maybe i fucking did

they stare at each other like two puppies right before they’re about to pounce on each other

todoroki’s first to move, he’s noticeably taller than bakugou now so steps into bakugou’s space and pulls the other in by the strap of his tank. bakugou’s neck is slick from effort, but it just adds to the exhilaration as todo’s fingers slide from the straps of baku’s tank top, up along his pulse and finally beneath his jaw 

todo hovers because he fucking can, staring intently at bakugou for a few seconds, admiring the blond’s model like features until bakugou snaps - katsuki growls and yanks todo’s lips the short distance to his own

he shoves his knee between todo’s thighs and presses him back until shouto’s sandwiched between the wall and katsuki. between one of shouto’s delicious little gasps, katsuki slips his tongue along his old high school rival’s and smirks when he feels todo grind against his thigh

this is about to get nsfw so i’ll halt it here lmao

when todo draws back, his pupils are blown, wide and excitedly shining, hungry for more.. he traces katsuki’s jaw and it’s intimate and they’re both hot n sweaty but when shouto speaks, all he says is, 

“so you were in jirou’s emo band”

[dashinberlin]

The First Day of the Rest of My Life in Berlin

Welcome to my diary. I have been meaning to keep one of these for the whole of my twenties but I never got around to it. I’m currently 26 years old and today was the day that I moved to Berlin. It was a   decision i made one year and ten days ago on the 13th of November. IT came about because my dreams and career have been stagnating for a while [4 years] In London and I really wasn’t happy anymore, especially after moving back in with my dad because my previous residence was too full of dogshit and used needles. I got up at about 8 I think. Dean, my ex boyfriend and best friend came over about 9, and we spent the morning sorting out a bunch of my last belongings. It was all very frantic and rushed, but I left the house in a state my dad was relatively pleased with. 

We went to the post office first to mail some rubber to my crush in America. It was rubber from my passed away Sir. We were such a scene trying to fix the broken granny trolley full of stuff for dean with parcel tape in front of a busy post office.  We got on the tube. It was a nightmare trying to navigate with three things on wheeels and about 5 or 6 back packs or bags. It was really strange and busy the whole things. Given that I had given myself a year to plan all of this, the fantasy-land version of myself had dreamed that everything would have been packed up and put to bed months ago, however the real version of me new I would be a qausi ,but never ever complete disaster as usual. In my head I think of myself as being one on a team of rag tag misfit kits who save the day wearing inventive but destroyed outfits, and brandish effective yet fucking weird and unconventional looking weapons.  

So yeah we got to the airport and checked in, nearly burst into tears telling the lady on the desk i’d been planning this day for a year. my mate Bill works at heathrow and he came and joined us at the whetherspoons to see me off. When we’d drank and the time came for us to leave I decided now was the perfect time to record a video with Dean where we read off and performed our list of completely fucking weird and abstract foiles-es-deux language memes from the stickynotes app on my laptop. “blabble fish” “octoboyfriend” “Hatch distress call” and “pacman around the shop” were all memes that we re-enacted for this video. it was LOLZ. 

And then the time was upon us. We walked to the gate, and we said goodbye. I pretty much instantly burst into tears telling dean good bye and how much i loved him, whilst holding him.  We’ve been joined at the hip seeing each other at least two times a week for four years so it was a bit tough. We said we loved each other and were thankful for the times we had. I gave bill a “come here Bill!” and pulled him close. 

Got through security and put my head-phones on. Next song up on my list was Foals- Spanish Sahara. This track is a work of art. It progresses so slowly I had to skip the first minute to be able to skip to the part where you could actually say it was a beginning verse. I walked to my gate (A26) as the song progresses. ....  This whole time, the last year I knew was going to be year of closing doors behind me, some shut easy, some shut with the sound of broken hearts bittersweet wishes. When I decided to leave London it was like suddenly my 3d interaction with the city and all the people in it had become a massive one way track labyrinthine palace and at every step where i knew it was the last time i’d be in one place, or talk to one person, I neatly and quietly closed the door of this memory behind me. At first you’re zig zagging all over town shutting doors, but when it gets closer to things like, your leaving party, and your last ten tube rides, and then last time you see people you see every day, and then suddenly you’re listening to Spanish Sahara (a song about abandoning a foresaken place) and you’re looking through airport glass at the plane your about to board and you let out a great big silent scream because the fucking plane door now not only represents final closure of the palace of your life in London, all the hopes, failures dreams, tears, memories, laughs, blood, semen, and ambitions of this place. It staggeringly also carries the weight of being a portal to another dimension. At this point the plane ceases to be a plane, but instead is now a vessel that carries you from your neatly shut-down city of failed dreams, through time and space, to your future in a world that you really don’t know that much about, apart from that there was a big wall that cut it in half, and that it is currently the  stunning playground of Gay Angels, Neo Nazi Demons, and all those in between... oh and by the way, they’re all dancing to techno and fucking on the dancefloor. 

So I board the plane. I go to my seat I booked, its by a window at the very back. I’m sitting there with tears in my eyes and a woman turns around from the seat in front of me and asks in german if the lighter she has just found on the floor is mine. I tell her no its not, an eventually in german “Dass is nicht mein feuerzoig” and we strike up conversation. I tell her very quickly this is my moving flight to berlin that i’ve been planning on for one , and she’s instantly overwhelmed with compassionate amazement. Her name is Ingrid. She was super sweet to me, and told me numerous times that she had huge respect for me making this gigantic leap, and the guts it took to make it, and how much fun berlin would be, and how so many people never listen to their gut instinct. Over the cours of the flight she tells me over her story, how she lived in Berlin for 10 years, in Schoneberg no less, and how she thought she’d be happier becoming a sister in a convent, and how her dream led her astray, and how it had hurt to leave everything to start again and it not worked out. She explained how she worked in finance for a bit, and then a hospice which was a her true calling in life, and now how she was doing finance work again....and was very unfulfilled.  I told her more of my year,  how the dogshit needle house and years of london stagnation had made me so anxious sometimes at work I just wanted to sit there and cry and scream at the blank wall in front of my desk. And how something drastic needed to be done. I told her how I lost Michael in Berlin and how is death affected me, nd how I believe in magic and the amazing energy of the universe that will help and guide you if you are good, and you believe, and if you ask nicely and you yearn, and you work hard it will heLP YOU THE FUCK OUT. Ingrid supported all my additions with points of her own, and I think in that moment she new that like me, her life had become derailed from it’s path towards destiny and that it was time to get off of this path of pointlessness and back on one which makes her happy.  That vessel. The wormhole to another life. Was a magical place to be. The plane flew over a beautiful wash of white clouds the whole way to Germany, and their textures changed from bright sunshine to darkness very quickly as sunset speed was enhanced by the plane’s cruising speed of threehundredandX MPH. With the ground obscured by smokewaves and light switch of the earth being flicked off so quickly, it was the transition from one path to another was practically audible. It was like the closing palace was actually my universe collapsing into a singular hyper dense singularity, and this new state, one even smaller than an atom was where I was in the vessel in that moment. The changing of the sky and the earth around me was actually the visual signs that my new future was being rotated and recalibrated around me, so that when the door of that fucking plane opened, a new palace and a new universe and a new future would burst out in front of me, sprawling infinitely. The name of that future is Berlin. 

The plane lands. I get my bags with Ingrid. We take a selfie, proclaim the importance and sacred of our meeting and we move on.  In the cab ride back to my place the driver welcomes me to Berlin and we instantly start talking about the insane nightlife. By the end of the cab ride he has revealed to me that he has always wanted to go to berghain and i give him some ideas of he could look cool and get in. and he is very thankful. He also told me how when he’s having sex he loves speaking in english because he finds it super fucking hot...like seriously, he spoke so emphatically that from what i can tell, english sex is to him what bondage fisting is to me. 

I hang about for ten minutes waiting for Alis excited as fuck. When she arrives and opens the foor and screams “welcome to your new chapter!!” she looks slightly concerned at me for  second because a few seconds has passed now and I’m so fulll of amazement and awe at those words my mouth was a big jar with a small lid, and  filled with big word pickles and none of the eighty word pickeles could come out. . . So I just sort of jumped in the air and screamed a abit. We climbed about 7 flights of  stairs up to the flat with my HEAVY Fuckng bags where she let me in and showed me my new room. Which. just. oh. my god. It’s. just. so fucking big. I can’t even believe it. I have the best room in the house! It’s long and tall, you could get about two and a half of my old bedroom in brixton into it easily.  Suddenly I was here, The sparks of my new life palace constructing itself in front of me. All I could think was that it seemed so easy in a way.  Like I had asked, and yes i did work, and save, and put in love and money and effort, and it just appeared in front me and now I can just go walk over, and pick it up and hold it and it’s mine. MY DREAM IS MINE AND ITS COMING TRUE EVERY SECOND THAT PASSES.