#look man writes like three papers i bet he gets angry at some

[pluvioseprince]

cynonari 🤝....

[moosemonstrous]

btw I have now put links to both the tag here and on AO3 in my bio bc I got sick of scrolling through tumblr 😌 Full disclosure - I have met lab people who act like small animals caught in the middle of a road whenever someone dares to enter their domain.

Ghost Rider Pacific Rim AU - sticks and stones

“Can’t promise the spot will stay open,” Kwok tells him apologetically. “But this is good, no? All the young’uns want to go to the academy!”

Robbie would bet his working eyeball that none of the young'uns would be so keen on it after ten minutes alone with Major Brooks. “So I keep hearing,” he mutters. “Sorry for the trouble. I appreciate you taking me on in the first place.”

“Navos is good people,” Kwok shrugs. The Shatterdome functions on a rather opaque network of favours and IOUs. ‘Good people’ seems to be a fairly high praise. Not quite on 'one of ours' level, but high. “You remember me when you are a ranger up in the dome and we’re even.”

And just like that, the transport maintenance chapter of Robbie’s career closes with little fanfare. Technically, he didn’t have to come speak to Kwok in person – his assignment has already gone through and the man would’ve been notified either way. He doesn’t want to leave a bad impression, though. For all he knows, the battery of tests he’d been fast-tracked through the day before will spit out some convoluted reason for why the drift activated on its own and he will be back on the job market before the end of the week. At least there are plenty of positions open – it’s easier to hire someone inside the base and train them up than wait for the paperwork to clear for an experienced worker from the outside.

He remembers the last time he let himself think things were finally turning around, though. He’s not going to make that mistake again.

At least his head is clearer after half an hour in a giant magnet and a full night’s sleep. He’s still unable to hold a conversation with Ivanov without some truly strange thoughts popping up like bubbles on the surface of a pot – the more tired or angry he gets, the harder it is to ignore them. He knew he was going to pay for running on fumes for weeks, and being sedated for nearly three days must have knocked something loose, but. Nothing proper sleep hygiene and some semblance of a routine won’t fix.

Or maybe you’re just noticing stuff, because you ain’t an idiot. Huh? Could it be that?

Or maybe this whole business with The Charger is extremely weird and Robbie should be packing up and running for the hills. Unfortunately, his and Gabe’s permits only work in Hong Kong and when he last checked how much it would be to fly back to US, he had to sit down for a long moment. Even if he was willing to risk taking a ship, where would that leave them? Back on a decimated coast, hoping the wind doesn’t blow over nuclear fallout, and struggling to find enough food for both of them? Queuing at state borders for days or weeks, hoping they’ll be lucky enough to get through on the increasingly stringent rules? Nevada already stopped letting in anyone without immediate family members or sponsors in-state.

Looks like the only way forward is through.

His wristband scans through to the R&D wing now. The soldiers standing guard give Robbie odd looks, but don’t make a move to stop him, so he forces his shoulders down and walks through the armoured door like he knows what he’s doing.

He has no idea what he’s doing. Cho said, ‘come find me in R&D before noon’. There are at least fifteen labs just in this one corridor and none of the doors have anything approaching a comprehensible naming convention. Some signs are just a piece of printer paper with a name scrawled over it, some have the original writing taped over with a KEEP OUT sticker, some seem to list the people working inside. None of those list an Amadeus Cho. It’s half past eleven.

Eventually, Robbie sticks his head in a room labelled ‘HMT DES’. Inside, there are three circular podiums with a mannequin each, showcasing variations of the PPDC hazmat suits. There are three people inside; two hide behind the middle suit as soon as they notice him, leaving the third to fend for herself.

“Can–can I help you?” she asks nervously. She has blue hair and wears fishnet sleeves over a tank top. Not exactly the nerd attire Robbie was expecting.

“I’m looking for Amadeus Cho,” he explains, trying to look as non-threatening as possible. It’s the opposite of what he usually tries to achieve, and she looks like she might be having an anxiety attack. “Any idea where I could find him?”

The girl listens to some frantic whispering from behind the suit. “In the bone lab,” she squeaks. Then blushes so hard Robbie worries she might actually pass out. “Up one floor, two doors down on the left, thankyouseeyoulater.”

What the hell.

He closes the door.

At least with the directions he finds the right room in less than five minutes. The label indeed reads ‘bone lab’. He’s pretty sure the music blasting from the inside is Dead Kennedys. When nobody answers his knocking, he prays he isn’t about to embarrass himself further and pushes the door open.

Cho is standing with his back to him at a table completely covered in… either huge chunks of dirty plaster or – more likely and vastly more disturbingly – massive bone fragments. He’s holding a metal training staff. Before Robbie can call out, he brings it over his head and smashes one of the chunks. When it doesn’t break, he adjusts his grip and tries again. And again. And again, until the greenish-grey surface cracks, at which point he gives out a little whoop.

“Cho?” Robbie risks. The music is too loud, coming from a small bluetooth speaker at the edge of the table. It’s shaped like a cat head. “Hey, Cho!”

Cho whirls around with the staff ready to smack the intruder. He’s wearing thick safety goggles. When he sees Robbie, he drops his weapon to the table with a clatter. “Good news!” he shouts over the music, like it’s normal both for people to just show up in his lab and to start a conversation from the middle. “You don’t have brain cancer!”

Well. That’s definitely good news.

“Was that a–?” He waits for Cho to lower the speaker’s volume through his phone. “Was that a risk?”

Cho is busy checking his messages, frowning. “Did you break my outfitters?”

“What?”

“Hazmat lab?” The frown becomes a grin as he scrolls through a bunch of texts. Robbie feels like that’s worse. “Good job getting on their good side, they might be designing your drivesuit soon.”

“I just–“ Can we get to the point? This kid is missing a screw. “You said to come find you?”

“Yes! Come on, take a–“ he picks up a hammer from an office chair before sliding it towards Robbie. “There you go. I was hoping we could talk without the grown-ups hovering around.”

The grown-ups. Robbie can already feel a headache coming. He takes a seat while Cho leans on the table, untroubled by a pile of skeletal remains inches from his back. “Talk about what?”

Cho scrambles around for a remote and points it at one of the screens at a wall behind Robbie. He flicks through several output sources – one is most definitely a cartoon show Gabe used to love back in L.A. – until he finds what looks like the Hell Charger’s blueprints.

“That,” he says, suddenly serious. “What do you actually know about this jaeger?”

“I already–“

“Yeah, but that can’t be all,” Cho cuts him off impatiently. “I found your records from before your mom took you and your brother off-base. You were eight. Your dad never took you to the hangar?”

Not really. Mama didn’t want you losing fingers in the machinery.

“Wasn’t a place for a kid,” he mumbles. There are records? “I don’t really remember much from that time. Weren’t all the records sealed?”

I told you Ivanov is full of shit.

“Oh, they were,” Cho smirks. “But the last guy in my role had access to some of the classified stuff, and nobody ever revoked it. You know how it is.”

Robbie has no idea how it is. “What do they say?”

“Nothing!” Cho groans. “Just that you and your brother existed. That’s why I’m asking.”

It’s both crushingly disappointing and a perfectly good reason for Ivanov to just say there was no information available. Keep deluding yourself. You’ll see I’m right sooner or later. Still, Robbie doesn’t really have much he can – or wants to – tell Cho.

“Sorry, I can’t help,” he shrugs. “I’m told we left before it was decommissioned. Mom never talked about it.”

Cho lifts up his goggles to his forehead to rub his eyes. He seems frustrated. “No weird work anecdotes? No drama about close calls?” He huffs when Robbie shakes his head. “Great. Another dead end. What did Ivanov tell you?”

“Just that my dad used to be a pilot. That he died killing Daggerblight.”

There is a long moment where Cho watches him like he’s waiting for Robbie to crack and admit to some vast conspiracy. When nothing happens, he blows the air out of his cheeks. “Bummer. Oh well, let’s go find Montesi before she starts wondering where we are.”

Robbie feels the bottom of his stomach freeze over. “We were supposed to be meeting her, too?”

Cho is already walking over to the door. He holds it open with a stupid little bow. “Yep. We better hurry.”

Robbie kind of wants to punch him. He’s beginning to suspect this will be a common occurrence.

[bukojuiice]

— genshin boys as your college roommates who are head over heels in love with you

ೃ ft. childe, diluc, kaeya, zhongli, and xiao x gn! reader

ೃ 400-600 words per character!  ♡

ೃ warnings: mention of alcohol drinking ( but aside from that, just lots and lots of fluff!)

ೃ this is my very first writing contribution to the genshin fandom, so i hope everyone likes it!  after 5 months of playing genshin, i think it’s safe to say my brainrot for it has finally consumed me and i’m confident enough to brew something up! <3

ೃ genshin impact masterlist 

ೃ if you want to be a part of my taglist, answer this form! ♡

CHILDE:

– You and Childe are the perfect embodiment of the best friends to roommates trope. Whenever you wanna sleep in for 5 minutes more and you’re about to run late for your first class, Childe never fails to slowly drag you out of your bed, laughing as he does so. “Wake up sunshine!” is the first thing you always hear in the morning and you don’t complain if you get to hear his smexy voice anyway. He is a confident flirt and is not afraid to show you how much he cares or how much he pines over you. 

–  He’s always always there to save the day. There was a time when your classmates stood you up on the group project you were making, and guess who comes up to you with glitter, glue, and colored paper? Childe, of course! He stayed up until the wee hours of the night with you just so he can help you finish it. He even promises to set things in a “very civil way” with your absolute jerk groupmates the very next day. You practically hang out with him 24/7 as most of the time he just barges in your shared apartment with some amusement park tickets on hand or to some expensive yoga or judo class. There’s never a dull moment with him and with each passing day, the more you fall harder for him.

–  After a morning jog with him and seeing cute little dogs frolicking around with their married owners, Childe suddenly had the urge to adopt a dog with you.  But, due to a no pets rules established by the landlord, the two of you opt to owning hamsters instead! Childe named his hamster, narwhal (after his favorite animal of course!) whereas you named yours bunny, to match his irrelevant pet name picking. your hamsters both share the same house/cage and even they are pining over each other.

  –  His siblings visit a lot, especially Teucer. At this point, there was never a day the little boy didn’t ask when are you and Childe going to finally become “playground playmates” (a term for lovers that they use in second grade apparently) since the two of you are living with each other and seem so close. Childe is always able to successfully change the topic and shift away from talking about the shared feelings that the both of you have for each other. But, alas, the day had finally came to be and during your monthly trip to the amusement park, Childe confidently confesses to you on top of the ferris wheel.

“So... everyone in my life knows that you’re my best friend. Yea, that’s pretty cool and all but... Can we be more than just that (Y/N)? Is there hope if I think there could be something between us?”

DILUC:

– Diluc is your posh and rich roommate who sounds and looks too good to be true. The fact that you’re roomies with the literal heir to the country’s biggest wine and beverage company sounds like something straight out of a fanfic. But, it was of his volition to decide to live in a penthouse near Teyvat University. It was the doings of his step-brother Kaeya who tricked him into getting a roommate so that he won’t be alone for the rest of his college years... aaand that’s where you come in. practically barged into his life, but, you were a blessing. an angel sent from the skies.

–  He’s quite cold and unapproachable at first, only greeting you whenever he sees you but never bothered to engage in small talk with you. Even if the both of you go to the same university. It wasn’t until your second month as roommates, when you accidentally had too much to drink after a friends’ night out. You come home to see him in the living room, drinking grape juice from a wine glass, and watching a rerun of Hannah Montana. You practically collapse at the front door, he rushes to you and helps you up as you drunkenly confess to him in tears how you wanted to become much closer to him especially since the  two of you are going to spend the rest of your college years together. That was when Diluc realized how distant and aloof he’s been and vows to make it up to you.

– Diluc is very talented. Albeit in very discreet way, he makes sure to make use of his talents especially if it’s an opportunity to make memories with you. He is an amazing cook as much as he tries to deny it, He’s a secret virtuoso caught in 4k when you impulsively bought a guitar one time and you asked if he knows how to play, and he does so well. He practically serenades you in the most non-obvious way possible. Lastly, He’s very athletic. You invited him to play tennis one time, betting that if he won, you would do his bidding for the rest of the week. Before you could even blink, he wins. His “punishment” for you was that you accompany him in binge-watching TV Dramas. Grey’s Anatomy and Downtown Abby are just some of the shows the two of you would watch. It is absolutely adorable seeing him so invested in these dramas. and since the next on Diluc’s list were sit-coms, you were preparing yourself to answer his questions on the context of jokes that he didn’t get. In a poor attempt to flirt with you, he calls out your name and recites in the most Joey Tribbiani voice he could muster, “How you doin?” You were laughing so so hard that night because his pick up line actually worked on you and suddenly your realizations came full circle: you were very much in love with him too.

–  His naturally cool yet shy nature had always gotten the best of him.  He’s always wanted to ask if you wanted to carpool with him to school. Riding with him in his Tesla sportscar that goes 150 Mph? Heck yeah. However, it took quite a while before he could muster up the courage to ask you (4 months of being roommates until he finally popped the question) Since then, the two of you go home to and from University whenever you had similar schedules. Ever since then, Diluc had began to soften. His cold and hard facade slowly melted. Asking if you could help tie his floofy red hair then he’d let you play with it and let you style it in different ways. He takes you out on café dates during lunch breaks and take you out to watch a movie after both of your late night lectures. Everyone in campus thinks the two of you are practically together at this point. All that was left was to bare your feelings with one another through a fumbling and awkward confession.

“Words cannot not suffice these feelings I’ve been harboring for you since the very beginning. I L-like you a lot. Do you feel the same way too?”

KAEYA:

- Everyone loves Kaeya. Your friends and family, The School Faculty, The owner of the Convenience Store from down the street, The old lady who lives next door, The little kids from down the hall, and even the angry brown poodles from the farthest apartment to your right absolutely loved him. it was hard to keep up with having a roommate that not only were you crushing so hard on, but also had such a vibrant social life. Kaeya interacts and socializes with a lot of people and he admits that it does tend to get tiring at times. But, if these sacrifices lead to coming home to his cute roommate who has captivated his heart since Day 1, then it’s all worth it.

— Despite how warm and friendly he may seem, Kaeya is a very private person. He’s brought two or three friends like Jean, Lisa, Albedo, or Rosaria. But, only to discuss school affairs. He wasn’t the kind of person who trusts others easily, even if he was giving off the impression that he was a trustworthy and reliable person himself. He’d much rather spend time with you on days off from school. He may be a party guy on the outside (he insists he does it for future connections when he graduates) but he’s quite a homebody. Kaeya is the type to watch korean dramas and anime with you, go on late night convenience store cravings, and these always resulted in a perfect evening spent with him. When the both of you are fully immersed into the anime and things get a bit cozy, you rest your head on his shoulder, huddling for warmth.

— Kaeya would always come home with a little something for you. May it be take-out food, A trinket, a board game, an accessory, and even skincare products. The indigo-haired man is very particular about self-care and you bet that he’s bought different kinds of face masks, ointments, and even matching cute headbands just for the two of you! He’s very flamboyant and flirts with you a lot. Trying to impress you with pick up lines and suggestive jokes, but you always thought that he was just joking around because that was always a part of his personality. It was always a part of him. For Kaeya on the other hand, it seems to him that you don’t take him seriously and it's possible that you don’t return his feelings at all. He had to set things straight and it didn’t take long until Kaeya found the perfect opportunity to do so.

— With the help of practically everyone in the apartment, Kaeya is about to surprise you with a candle-lit dinner up on the apartment rooftop. His sly smooth-talking quickly convinced you that the both of you were just going to go out on your nightly convenience store trips. Your curiosity grows when he takes you by the hand, covering you with a blindfold, and whispering to your ear, “Do you trust me?” Gripping onto his hand tightly, the both of you go up some stairs and you reply, “Yes Kaeya, I do.” He slowly uncovers the shield from your eyes and your eyes sparkle at the sight of the candle-lit dinner, complete with jazz music, and a romantic view of the city.

“(Y/N)... You are the most precious person to me. I hope you can take me seriously, especially my feelings. I am saying this with my heart in my hand and with nothing but genuine love in my soul.”

ZHONGLI:

— Zhongli is truly husband material. You’re saying this as his friend, as his roommate, and as someone who’s absolutely smitten over him. He’s a third year environmental archaeology student at Teyvat University. Gentle, kind, and has nothing but wise and intelligent things to say. your lovestruck self can’t help but just admire him from afar, not knowing that he too has been entranced by you ever since you moved in.

—He's always the first to wake up in the morning. The first thing he does is make you a cup of coffee. He's got your favorite memorized, (Coffee with cream. Not to sweet and not too bitter.) The both of you own matching mugs, (written in colored scribbled letters, “The Wise Roommate” for Zhongli and “The Cute Roommate” for you.) He always wants to spend his free mornings with you. Both of you have different schedules so you never see each other at Campus and this was the only blissful time of the day you can spend with one another. Once you get home for dinner, (Zhongli is always the first to get home if he doesn’t stay too long at the library or strolling around the city) If it’s your turn to cook or if it’s his, he never forgets to brew you oolong tea after dinner. A perfect chance for the two of you to just talk the night away and engage in deep and meaningful conversations.

—Zhongli fell in love with you because you just quietly listen to him. Sometimes, you would share your thoughts and insights, even sharing your own personal knowledge that Zhongli had not known prior. You were one of the very few people in his life whom he could talk about absolutely anything with. Well, who wouldn’t listen to a handsome man who has a voice as smooth as butter? He is very passionate about his studies. Taking a lot of extra courses and spending a lot of money on his research. and so, most of the time, he spends all of his Mora on his extra studies (excluding the money he needs to pay for rent) and other interesting antiques. You understood why though. So, instead, you ask him to accompany you to do mundane chores. Going grocery shopping, doing the laundry and cleaning the apartment. He always helps in any way he can. The prying eyes of people around you and the old lady fr next door boldly coming up to you to ask if you and Zhongli were a married couple. You blush profusely whereas Zhongli coolly denies the woman's claims. It hurt quite a little but who were you to complain?

— It was during one of your night strolls with Zhongli. He had invited you out after dinner under the guise of wanting to have some fresh air and find a clear spot for the fireworks from a nearby festival. Your heart was thumping loudly to a non-existent rhythm, blissfully unaware that Zhongli was feeling a burst in his chest too. He clears his throat and his shoulders straighten. Zhongli puts his hand on your shoulder and breathes deeply. His cool and gentlemanly aura still radiating off of him as always. A wonderful array of colors fill the sky as his lips began to form the words he's always wanted to say:

"Tonight is beautiful isn't it? I thought that this would be the perfect time to open my heart up to you... You are a diamond in the rough that few see the beauty of. My beloved– Will you accept my feelings?

XIAO:

—  Having a popular twitch streamer as your roommate was a one in a million chance. Especially if you’re not even an influencer or internet figure yourself. But, how did this come to be? Why have you developed a crush on Xiao aka VigilantYaksha without knowing who he was? A gamer with over 6 million followers on different social media platforms? Simple, a high-end apartment near Teyvat University had a special discount if you were willing to be roommates with someone. It’s an amazing deal, near your school, cost-efficient, and you believed the 10% chance of scoring a hot roommate as seen on reality TV and romantic comedies. It was like rolling through a Gacha Game and getting a 5 star character. As that “character” is soon to be revealed as Xiao.

— Things started off rocky at first. On your first day, he flatly welcomed you by the door, introduced himself, then quickly retreated back to his room. As soon as you locked eyes with him, he gave off a certain cold and unfriendly aura. You wanted to get to know him better. Maybe with a little love and care, he could open up to you and you could become friends! That same day, you had mistakenly thought of your room as his and you walked in on him streaming a horror game. He wasn’t spooked by the jumpscares. But instead, he was looking at you in horror because you’ve just exposed yourself to thousands of people. You wave at the camera, apologize, and left. Since then, his fans, (called the Anemo Tofus) have been shipping the two of you together. Creating fanfiction and fanart of Xiao and the mysterious roommate that accidentally walked in on him. They practically begged Xiao to at least talk a little bit about you, to which, he declined. When you surprised him with dinner (as a little treat since this was your first week with him) He sits across the table from you, his eyes gazing deep into yours, as he pops the question, in a very tsundere tone: “Would you like to appear in my streams? T-the Anemo Tofus wanna learn more about you. B-but, if you don’t want to, it’s alright! You don’t have to-” You cut him off before he could continue his doubts, “Xiao! What are you saying? I’d love to!”

  —  There was something blossoming between the two of you after that particular dinner with him. Starting with your first “roommate video” that you had thought of when you were brainstorming for video ideas. It was an Almond and Mapo Tofu mukbang whilst the two of you answered questions from fans! The viewers noticed how visibly comfortable he was around you despite his usual reserved attitude. He was cracking up a lot more sarcastic and self-deprecating jokes whilst Tofu filled both of your mouths. Outside of the confines of social media and inside the comfortable space that was your apartment, you and Xiao grew closer. Wearing matching hoodies, going on midnight snack runs, playing in arcades, and stargazing with him up on the rooftop as you contemplate about life and talk about the mysteries of the universe. There were times when you would stay up late doing school works and would accidentally fall asleep on the sofa. Xiao would come out of room because he periodically had cases of insomnia. When he sees you on the sofa, he can’t help but smile at your sleeping figure and admire your beauty. First. he brings all your clutter back to your room then slowly picks you up from the couch, into his arms, and brings you back to your room. He places a blanket on top of you and your stuffed plushies next to you so you can hug them any time. 

— On a particular night, you fell asleep on the sofa once again and begun to  have recurring nightmares. Xiao was there to witness you whimpering, muttering to yourself, and shivering to a mental image that he could not see. (He wishes he could erase all the pain that these nightmares were giving you) You subconsciously grab onto his hand, murmuring to yourself: “Xiao, please don’t go.” He whispers back, “I won’t.” Your nerves slowly relax when you feel the Yaksha squeezing himself to lie next to you on the couch. Holding onto your arm, he continues to reassure you that it was going to be okay. You grab onto him, hugging him from behind. He feels your heartbeat revert back to it’s normal pace and you return back to your peaceful slumber. “I’ll always be here for you, (Y/N). I’ll be here to protect you. Forever and always.”  Turning to you to plant a kiss on your forehead, you nestle your head on Xiao’s chest. He watches as you cling to him for love and warmth until he is slowly whisked away by his weariness, rewarded with a peaceful sleep he hasn’t felt in a while.

“And they were roommates.”

[ushiluv]

Gambling and Babies 

soon to be father!bokuto x pregnant!reader 

gender reveal and gambling uncles (wc: 1475)

warnings 

none! pure fluff (except kuroo being a filthy capitalist)

note from the author 

i apologize if this is messy, i've never been to a baby shower before i just got the idea after watching a tik tok and felt like writing about it after baby fever hit me like a train. please let me know if i can improve anything about it <3 

“Are you sure everything is ready?”

Akaashi was beyond nervous. Planning a baby shower for his best friend’s first born child was not something he ever saw himself doing, but how could he have passed upon the opportunity after seeing how excited Bokuto was at the idea of having one?

Obviously, you and your dear husband had no idea about the whole event, at least not until a few days ago. Atsumu ringed you both up to tell you about Akaashi’s surprise and told you to clear out your schedule for that day. You hadn’t seen Bokuto that excited since the day he got married to you in front of his (old and current) volleyball team and direct family. Quite frankly, the whole idea was also a surprise to you- you did mention wanting to have one once or twice at the beginning of your pregnancy but you didn’t expect anyone to actually follow through with the idea.

“Yes, stop stressing. Bokuto and Y/N are on their way already.” Hinata tried his best to calm Akaashi down, but the dark haired man still couldn’t stop fidgeting with his fingers. He wanted everything to be perfect, literally.

He kept walking around the big garden, recounting the balloons and making sure the amount was the exact same for the blue and pink ones.

23, 24, 25… alright, 1, 2…

“IS THIS ALL FOR US?”

Bokuto’s loud voice turned everyone’s head toward you two. He started looking at the place with stars in his eyes- literally, while you greeted the people who were invited. Some congratulated you, some hugged you and others were inviting you to bet with them on the gender of the baby.

“Thanks, but I’ll pass.” you said with a smile on your face. You didn’t really care that much about the gender of the baby and neither did Bokuto; both of you were ready for any of the outcomes possible, you just wanted the baby to be healthy. And with how your pregnancy was going so far, that’s not something you were worried about.

After thanking a few more guests for coming, you were making your way to Bokuto who was chatting with Akaashi.

Bokuto was clenching Akaashi’s shirt, telling him something with the pouty voice he used on you when you told him no a few too many times. “... promise I won’t tell her.”

“For the last time, Bokuto-san, I will not tell you the gender of the baby. You’ll have to find out later.”

“Kou, baby, you’re not causing Keiji trouble, are you?”

Bokuto straightened his back up at the sound of your voice and ran to you, quickly wrapping his arm around your waist.

“No, babe we were just playing, I was actually thanking him for putting up everything together.” Bokuto gave you a small peck on the temple.

You moved to take Akaashi’s hand in yours, “Oh, yeah Keiji this really means a lot, thank you so much.”

“It’s really nothing,” he went back to fidgeting with his hands, “I’m just glad you guys like it.”

You chuckle at the sight of the little habit he’s had since your high school days, it felt kind of nostalgic to see a part of the old him. Akaashi has been with you and Bokuto since the beginning, he’s actually the one who helped your husband confess his little crush on you back in high school. Seeing how far you three have gone was enough to water your lower lash line.

“You okay?” Bokuto asked, “We’re gonna pop the balloon soon, do you want me-”

You cut him off, “I’m perfect.” You cupped his cheeks to bring your lips together in a kiss. “Let’s go see what gender our child is.”

Bokuto nooded took your hand in his and kissed the back of it, something he’s always loved doing.

“No matter the gender, they’re gonna turn out to be the greatest volleyball player in Japan- No! The whole world!”

“With you as their father, I don’t doubt it at all.”

Bokuto and you stood in front of the table full of gifts. You were glad that Akaashi only invited your closest friends because you weren’t sure how to act in front of a too big audience.

“Bet it’s a boy” Atsumu said with a few money bills in hand.

“And I’m telling you it’s a girl!” Meian replied.

Chatters among the small crowd regarding your unborn child’s gender started taking up place. Atsumu and Meian had unexpectedly started a whole debate.

“Will you two lower it down? They’re going to pop the balloon.” Sakusa said before rolling his eyes at the antics of his capitan and teammate.

“WAIT, THE CAMERA” a panicked Hinata sprinted across the garden with a small camera and tripod in hand. “Don’t start without the camera.”

Meian moved to help him set up the whole thing, hoping it would save everyone some time. “What were you doing all this time?”

Hinata didn’t say anything and looked behind his back where a smiling Kuroo with yen bills in his hands could be seen. He put the money in his front pocket and joined the rest of the group.

“Come on guys let’s not waste any more time.” he said, hoping to get the attention off of him for a second.

Hinata hit play on the camera and everything from there started rolling. Akaashi gave you and Bokuto the large black floating balloon, not before congratulating you too one last time.

Large needle in hands, you started noticing how much you were shaking. “You pop it or I pop it?” you asked your husband.

“You pop it, I’m too nervous.”

“As if I aren’t.” you mumbled under your breath. “Let’s do it together?”

Bokuto eagerly nodded before wrapping his free hand over yours, the other was holding the string, stopping the balloon from escaping the party. The gesture calmed you down a bit, it was like a little reminder that you were definitely not in this alone. He has always been with you and will always be, he had promised, after all, and Bokuto would rather die than break a promise he’s made to you.

He leaned down slightly to kiss your cheek. “Okay 1, 2...3”

At the count of three, blue papers exploded from the balloon, leaving you and Bokuto speechless for a second. Tears started blurring your vision when you felt your husband’s arm around you, jumping up and down, not being able to contain his excitement anymore. He gave you a loud kiss on the mouth before joining his friend group who were all yelling and screaming about some were right and others were wrong. You were, yourself, quickly surrounded by a few people who bragged about knowing it already because Mom’s sense, Oh no it was just easy to tell, Actually women pregnant with boys- you lost count of the explanation they came up with you. You were just really happy to know that you and Bokuto would be welcoming a little boy to the world in the next few months.

After the excitement being calmed down, you joined Bokuto who was still chatting with some of his teammates. You could hear some of them complain about the money they’ve lost and it made you giggle.

As soon as the whole celebration was over and after cleaning everything up, you Bokuto and Akaashi went for a car ride like the good old days (in Bokuto’s words).

“We’re adults now” Bokuto sighed as he rubbed your belly with one hand and stirred the wheel with the other.

You laughed at his sudden realization. “Did it take you a whole baby to figure that?”

“Yeah,” he said dreamily “I’m just really glad I get to experience this with you, you know?”

“Me too, wouldn't experience it with anyone else.” you took his hand from your belly in yours and kissed his knuckles. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

“Gosh you guys are as sappy as you were in high school.” Akaashi mumbled from the backseat.

You quickly turn around to give your good friend a small smack on the knee.

“It’s all your fault Akaashi!”

He laughed and leaned back in his seat, admiring the sunset that could be seen from his window. “Yeah, and I would do it again.”

bonus

“You said you knew the gender!” an angry Hinata was scolding Kuroo.

“I said I’m eighty-five percent sure of the gender, it’s just bad luck that it landed on the fifteen percent remaining!”

Hinata rubbed his face, trying to make the math in his head “Give me back my money at least.”

“Can’t do that.” Kuroo yawned, “That’s just how business works.” he pat Hinata’s head before walking away, leaving the small red head trying to figure out if he really got scammed or not.

[chaeiimimi]

HEY BUBS! I HOPE YOU’RE DOING GREAT, PART TWO WAS SUCH A BOMB AS WELL ALDJAKDJA I’M LOWKEY GETTING BABY FEVER ALREADY AT THIS POINT LMAO JK AKSJAKS IF YOU HAVE TIME, I’D LIKE TO REQUEST OSAMU / SUNA / OIKAWA / AKAASHI ALDHAKS ANY OF THEM WOULD BE FINE UWU 😫

HEY BUBS I’M SO SORRY FOR THE LATE REPLY BFIWBFIWBF MY LIFE’S BEEN PRETTY CRAPPY LATELY, I’M GLAD YOU LIKED THE SECOD PART AAAAA STAY HAPPY AND HEALTHY BUBS ILY <3

Haikyuu Boys and a Single Mom Pt. 3

Featuring: Suna, Bokuto, Kenma

Suna Rintaro

despite being a professional volleyball player, Suna was still a university student, he evenly splits up his days to go to volleyball practice and university

he was always dreading to go to university, but he knew he needed it, and you, being his seating beside you in three classes, made university bearable

you had this amazing aura, always so gentle, and kind, you had a soft smile plastered on your face almost like a motherly smile, your voice was always calm and soft, you were just so breath-taking to look at

although you two never talked that much, Suna already knew a lot of little details about you, he once drove pass you walking to the kindergarten just one street away from your university, he knew that you carry a container of fruits in your bag, you always left as soon as classes for the day was over, and that was only a few among a hundred of little things about you

Suna admired you from afar, as much as he likes you so much it physically hurts him, love just wasn't his priority, his priority was volleyball and his career

or at least he thought

life surely has a great sense of humor because somehow you guys ended up being partners for a thesis paper

"I look forward to working with you Suna" you smiled

"likewise" he says with his usual blank face

Suna didn't want to admit it, but he was excited

"so, where do we work on this?" he asks looking at the notes he took for that class

"well, we can work on it at my place" you say casually while also looking at your notes

"are you sure it's okay?" he asks again to make sure, this girl, the person he's been crushing on for his two years in university is now inviting him to her place

"yeah, i can't really spend a lot of time outside, my son hates it" 

and just like that Suna was having a mini heart attack, you were married? you have a son? what-

“hey, you alright?” you asked worriedly

Suna quickly composed himself 

“uhh y-yeah, won’t your husband get angry?” he asks 

“oh don’t worry I raise Kiro by myself” you smiled

Suna looked at you strangely, unable to keep up 

you chuckled at his dazed look “I’m a single mother” 

Suna almost breathed out a sigh of relief, thankfully he was able to stop himself or else you would get the wrong idea

“yeah, yeah sure, let’s work on it at your place” he snapped out of it, did he sound too happy to hear that you were single? yes, but we ain’t gonna talk about that 

what was your ex thinking? he was pretty sure your kid was cute and you were so breath-taking to look at, what a stupid guy    

“what does your son likes?” 

“hm?” you asked him to make sure you heard him right 

“what does your son likes?” 

later in the evening, Suna showed up at your place with chocolate chip ice cream and the most expensive sushi he could find

you worked on your project for a good two hours, finalizing the outline of the thesis, while Kiro sat on Suna’s lap, your son immediately liked him, maybe because of the ice cream and sushi , but Kiro was very fond of him

“Kiro, baby, get off of Suna’s lap please he might get tired” you said to your son while you were keeping the things you used

“I don’t mind, he’s surprisingly light” Suna says as he bounces Kiro on his lap

“alright, if you say so, I’m going to prepare snacks” you made your way to the kitchen and left the two in the living room

“mister rin-rin” Kiro whispers while tugging on Suna’s shirt

“hm?” he answers looking at the kid, he was right, Kiro was extraordinarily adorable, it felt like he was looking at a smaller boy version of you and it was making her heart go feral, making him break his rules and try his best to get the both of you

“i want you to be my daddy” he whispers while fiddling with his fingers shyly

please this man is about to combust

he pats the boy’s head “sure bud” he said with a smile

“then can I call you dad?” he asks , eyes sparkling

“well it’s better to start early right? sure you can bud” he says, a full-blown grin plastered on his usually stoic face

Bokuto Koutaro 

the flashing and clicking of cameras occupied the whole room where the MSBY Jackals were holding their post-game press conference, they won the game by the way and Bokuto was in high spirits answering questions thrown at him by the reporters 

it was your turn to ask a question to the players and you stood up “Bokuto-san, your fans are always wondering why you’re always in high spirits, what is your secret?” 

Bokuto has never seen you before, were you a knew reporter? because damn he would’ve noticed you immediately if you were on their past press conferences, you looked like a celebrity to be quite honest 

“I’m playing volleyball, there’s no room for me to be unhappy” he simply says 

 it was you first day at your new job, quite frankly, you’re glad you quitted your old one, they forced you to stay behind the camera and write scripts for anchors when you finished a bachelor degree on broadcasting 

“Can’t blame him, I’m also happy when I do my job” you mumble to yourself as you remembered Bokuto’s answer to your question

“mama!” you looked at your son who was in the arms of your cousin Kuroo

“hey thanks for doing this for me couz” you say as they stopped right in front of you

“mama! have you seen the game?! they were so awesome! Uncle Tetsu promised me to go meet MSBY!” your son happily jolts in his Uncle’s arm

you looked at him with a motherly smile, happy that you’re son enjoyed the game 

“you coming with us?” Kuroo asked

“you two go ahead I’ll just rest for a bit” you were tired with keeping up with the game and asking questions 

the two nodded “alright, just show this to the guard and they’ll let you enter” Kuroo says, handing you a pass

you mutter a small thank you as you watch them walk away

let’s just say Gen, your son, was liked by every single member of the team, I mean, who could ever dislike such an adorable kid?

“MSBY cool! Shoyo pwaaa! Boto bam!” he says while jumping up and down, while Kuroo watched his nephew smiling

Bokuto was particularly very fond of him, was it because the kid was unbelievably adorable? or was it because the kid reminded him of a certain reporter? He’d like to think both

“Gen-kun who’s yer fav’rite player eh?” Atsumu asks the kid

the kid looked at eight full-grown man looking at him expectantly, his eyes stopped on the black-and-white haired spiker and made grabby hands towards him “BOUTO! BOUTO!” 

the members were disappointed but not surprised at all, kids tend to go to Bokuto or Hinata since they have the friendliest faces

“HEY! HEY! HEEEY!” Bokuto did not hesitate and lifted the boy up in the air, as they both giggle

“Tetsu?” your voice interrupted the commotion inside the room

Kuroo went to the door and opened it for you and the first thing you saw was your son giggling with the person stuck in your head for about twenty minutes now

“Mama!” your son screamed as soon as he saw you and asked to be put down to run towards you giving you a hug on your leg you looked down at him and patted his head gently

Kuroo cleared his throat “this is Y/N L/N my cousin, the mother of adorable the adorable Gen, she is single and ready to mingle, 2 in 1 you get an adorable son and a lovely wife, contact me for more details, the price can be discussed” 

you deadpanned at your cousin, why tf was he selling you like an auction, you shook your head 

you were hyper aware of the intensity of the owl-eyed spiker, making you blush

while Bokuto was over here thinking, damn he hit the jackpot an adorable son and an absolutely gorgeous wife? you bet he’s in and he’s gonna do everything he can to win you and make you and your son happy

“I’m sorry about him, please excuse me, my son and I needs to leave” you said politely and bowed as you take your son away

unbeknownst to you, Bokuto was in the middle of business with your cousin

“hey, how much for the details?” Bokuto whispers to his bestfriend as if they were in the middle of an illegal transaction

Kuroo looked at his friend with eyebrows raised

“I’ll pay any amount” Bokuto was very serious, which made the former Nekoma captain burts out laughing

“well, since you’re my good friend, a few drinks will do” Kuroo after his hyena laugh session

“Hey! hey! hey! thanks Kubroo!” Bokuto says in his usual cheery voice

later that night, you wondered why you were having dinner with your son, your cousin, and the former captain of Fukurodani, how he managed to get you flowers in such a short amount of time and this late at night was beyond your knowledge. But you weren’t complaining though, how could you when he looked adorable with a flushed face asking for your number after driving you and your son home.

Kenma Kozume

Kenma wasn’t fond of kids, he didn’t disliked them, he just preferred hanging out with adults who were less hyper, proceeds to hangout with Bokuto, Hinata and Kuroo

but he was a gamer and it is inevitable that some of his fans were kids, he didn’t mind it though he is thankful to each and everyone of his fans

being the twenty-eight year old youtuber/CEO that he is, he barely have time to go out and it happened very rarely, and today happened to be one of those rare occasions as he got out to get some ice cream in a very hot summer day

but he was in a for surprise, at an empty alley, he heard a ruckus

“give it back! please give it back!” 

it was never in Kenma’s personality to pry, but something was pushing him to go check out what was going on

he went inside to the dark alley and saw four boys, about eight years old, one was in the middle, his clothes all crumpled and dirty, his bag empty, his things sprawled out, scattered in front of him

“you want this thing? it’s not even the latest model, you think kodzu-” 

Kenma cleared his throat, already able to register what was happening

“ken” the bully continued

“you know kids, I don’t really like bullies” Kenma starts as he walks towards the little boy, picking up his scattered things one by one and putting it in his bag

“leave, before I report you to your school” Kenma says stoically which made one of the boys drop the game console in his hand as the three of them scramble to get out of the dark alley

the little boy picked up the game console and tried to open it, but to no avail, it was broken

Kenma went closer as he handed him his bag 

“are you okay?” he asked as he crouch down to the boy’s level, it was obvious that he was not okay, his face had little scratches and his clothes were all dirty and slightly damped 

but the little boy meekly nodded and looked down on his game console, which Kenma noticed 

“I can get you a new one” he says in attempt to cheer up the little boy, he didn’t know what was pushing him to do so, but his heart broke at the sight of him broke his heart 

“mister Kodzuken, can you please get this fixed for me instead?” for the first time, the boy looked at him with sad eyes

how could he say no to that face? he took the game console and looked at the boy

“is there a reason why you want me to fix it?” he asks

“my mom worked hard to get me that on my birthday, she didn’t buy her favorite coffee, her favorite bread, she patched up her shoes instead of buying a new one, she even lied to me that she wasn’t hungry when we ate out, I don’t wanna make her sad” the boy sadly said and wore his bag

Kenma was in awe, no wonder this boy was so polite and respectful

“alright, how but I’ll call your mother now, she is needed in this situation” Kenma says as he takes out his phone

the boy slowly dictates his mom’s phone number, and when he was done, Kenma was speechless, the number was already registered as his secretary’s number

Kenma shakily presses the call button

“sir?” your voice from the other line, never seize to make his heart skip a beat

“Y/n do you happen to have a son?” his voice was still calm

“yes, how did you know sir? i have a son he’s name is Eiji, he’s eight” you happily told him

“well, I kinda caught some kids bullying him, I think that you’re needed here” he says calmly 

“oh no, my baby, i’ll be there ASAP sir, please do send the location”

“I’ll send the location to my driver, he’ll pick you up” Kenma says and hangs up as he send a quick messege and the location to his driver

Kenma was supposed to ask you out tomorrow, that was the reason why he didn’t go to the office today, he was going to surprise you at his place because he didn’t want you, the girl he liked to the horrible people of the internet

you were too pure, too kind, you always made sure to get him something to eat despite his resistance, made sure that he doesn’t overwork himself and even going to the extent where you do some of his workloads, of course he trusted you enough to do so and you’ve been working with him for four years now

but you had a child? did you have a husband? but you’re resume said that you were single? is it a boyfriend?

“you know mister Kodzuken, mama always talks about you when I ask her about her day, I think she’s got a little crush on you” Eiji smiled softly at him

which almost made the former setter melt into a puddle, the boy was adorable, and even if his original plan was to just date you, he was more than happy to have Eiji, having a mini you around made it all even better, he wasn’t fond of kids but the little boy infront of him was an exception

“I think, I can make that happen” he smiles softly

the day after you appeared looking distressed, talked to your son’s bullies and their parents at the school’s principal office with Kenma and Eiji seating beside you, you were now inside your boss’ house, he was asking you to be his girlfriend, your son happily jumping up and down beside him

how could you say no, when four years ago, you were only dreaming of this moment? 

[xmalereader]

Thomas Shelby X Male Reader X Hulmet Zemo

-

|| Masterlist ||

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Here is a small crossover between Zemo and the peaky blinders because WHY NOT?! Also, the French I use might not be correct, I only took a few classes of French and then dropped out and decided on Japanese instead :/ please don’t judge me, I’m still learning (°▽°)

Summary: Reader is Thomas Shelbys son, who has been sneaking around with Birmingham’s new Chief Inspector Hulmet Zemo. The two have grow close to each other, but how will he tell Thomas about his secret?

Warnings: Fluff, angst, crossover, language, some French, soft Hulmet, rich baron.

-

-

“Not a single word do you care to utter in my direction. You struggle to find meaning as to who I am and what I stand for. Am I not worthy?”

It has been raining in Birmingham for the last three days. The Shelby family had stayed indoors to help with the bettings. They could be doing something a lot more important but, instead they decided to spend the rainy days counting up the bets and making sure that everything is in track.

Thomas was in his office, reading the paper as he smokes his second cigar of the day. His eyes skimming through today’s events as he lets out a puff of smoke. He tosses the paper aside and puts his cigar out, taking his glasses he sets them down.

Hearing the office door open, he looks up to see his only son, Y/n, stepping inside his office as he closes the door behind him. “What are you doing here? I thought you were helping Polly with counting the bets.” He mutters out as he watches his son approaching the desk. “I got bored.” He hears the other say.

Y/n sits down on one of the chairs and leans his head back, groaning softly. “It’s been raining for days, I want to go out and ride the horses.” He mumbled out, causing Thomas to chuckle at him as he too, leans back in his own chair. “It’s dangerous riding in this weather. It can frighten the horses and you can get hurt, don’t want that happening.” Y/n shrugs as he sits up and looks at the material around his fathers desk.

He reaches out for the paper and unfolds it, reading the front page. “Helmut Zemo.”

Y/n froze at the sudden name as he slowly looks up to make eye contact with his father. “Do you know him?” Thomas asks as y/n slowly shakes his head in response, trying his best to not show any fear or intimidation.

“He’s the new Chief Inspector, has been coming around town for the last couple of days—“ Thomas sighs deeply. “He’s already arrested five of our men, told them not to cause trouble only for them to start a fight at the Garrison.” He slips his glasses back on as he sat up. Y/n looks down at the newspaper and clears his throat, “Why exactly are you telling me this? I know you don’t like it when I get involved with the family’s business. You’ve told me many times to stay away.”

It was true, Thomas Shelby was a protective man towards his own family. He’s always kept y/n safe, ever since he was abandoned by his mother. Thomas wanted him to stay out of the family business, away from any enemies that targeted them. He couldn’t risk losing anymore family members, especially his own son.

“I just want you to be careful the next time you go out.” Said Thomas. “If you see or hear about him—you stay away.” His voices slowly grows dark as he gives y/n a stern look. A look that always frightened the younger man. “I’ll be careful, always have!” He beams out with a smile. Y/n didn’t want to worry his father anymore as he stands up from his spot. “I’ll make sure to stay away from Zemo and away from any trouble.” He assures Thomas. He adjusts his coat and walks out of the office doors before his father could say anything else.

Once he’s out of sight he leans against a wall and lets out a shaky breath, gripping his coat close as he bites his lip. “Shit.” He whispers to himself as he heads back to the betting room, entering a separate room where his aunt Polly was counting the bets. He closes the door behind him and sits In front of her, burying his face in his hands as Polly counts the bets.

“Did you tell him?” She asks with a raised brow.

Y/n groans. “I couldn’t.” He looks up from his hands as Polly rolls her eyes at him and shakes her head, continuing on with the bets. “You’ll have to tell Tommy soon, you should know how your father will react once he finds out first.” She reminds him. He already knew how his father would react if he found out that both he and Zemo have been seeing each other in secret for the last couple of months.

“Polly, I don’t know what to do. I want to tell him about us but, it’s been far too difficult—dammit aunt Pol he’s gonna be angry with me!” He exclaims, his anxiety getting to him as he thinks about all of the bad things that can happen between him and his father. “Pol, what I’m doing his wrong! Falling in love with another men, keeping secrets from my father, betraying the family!”

“Alright enough!” Polly stood up and stands by his side as she pulls him into a hug. “You’re a strong man. I know your father can be stubborn but he will also understand.” She pulls away from the hug and pushes his hair back. “Go and talk to Zemo, figure something out and tell your father or else I will.”

Y/n whimpers at her small threat, he knows that he has to tell his father soon or else he will be the first to find out about him and Zemo and it will not be a fun experience. “I—okay.” He whispers out. Polly gives him a stern nod, “Now go see him and figure something out. I’ll tell your father that you went home and took a cab with you or that you went out for a bit.” She informs him as she walks around the small office she had and grabs his hat, placing it on him as she adjusts his coat and sighs deeply. “Go on.” She nods towards the door.

Y/n bites his líp. “Thanks aunt Pol.” He kisses her cheek before leaving the room. He storms out of the betting shop and into the rain, wincing at the cold weather as he rushes out to go see Zemo.

Polly sits back down and sighs, wishing the boy good luck as she goes back to counting the bets, writing down the numbers and amounts in the book as she lights a cigar for herself before looking up to see Thomas entering the room. “Tommy, thought you fell asleep back in your office.” She says sarcastically as she continues on with her job, it sparing him a second glance. “I came in here to talk about y/n.”

“What about him?”

“He’s been acting strange in the last few days, know anything about it?” He raises a brow and crosses his arms over his chest. “Nothing.” Polly replies back as she sets a few bills on the side and continues on with a new stack. The room is silent until Thomas speaks up. “He trusts you and I know he’s told you what’s wrong, so—“ he locks the door behind him and approaches pollys desk. “Tell me what he told you.”

Polly glares at him. “The boy is fine Thomas, he’s growing up and needs some time.” She crosses her own arms with a frown on her face. Thomas looks away and clears his throat. “Very well.” He stands up straight and slips his hands in his pockets.

“Then tell me about Helmut Zemo.”

-

A loud knocking was heard throughout the house as Zemo sets his stuff down and heads towards the door to see who it was. It’s been pouring for days, so who would want to be bothering him?

As he answers the door his eyes soften at the sight of his beloved. “Chéri.” He says as y/n gives him a small shy smile. “Hey...” Zemo frowns. “It’s raining, come inside, I’ll get you something to wear.” He ushers the young man inside and closes the door behind him. “Go get warmed up by the fireplace while I get you some clothes.”

Y/n does as Zemo says as he walks towards the living room and stands in front of the fire place. Allowing the warm heat to keep his body from growing colder. “Voici.” He gasps as Zemo places a dry towel around him. “Come, let’s get you changed.” He takes y/n’s hand and guides him towards the bedroom where he had some clothes laid out for him. “Get changed while I prepare us some Tea.” Zemo places a kiss on the back of y/n’s hand, reassuring him that he’ll be close by as he leaves him to change.

Y/n gave a small smile as he begins to change his clothes and into something warm. He makes sure to take his wet clothes back towards the fire place. Spreading the clothes out he sets it close to the warm fire and lets them dry. “Better?” He hears Zemo asks as he stands next to him and hands him a cup of tea. Y/n gives a small nod in return, “a lot better.” He thanks him for the tea and sits on the couch as he drinks the warm liquid.

Zemo sits across from him while crossing his leg over the other and drinking his own tea.

“I couldn’t tell him.”

Zemo raises a brow as he sets his cup down on the table. “What do you mean?” He questions.

Y/n bites his lip. “I tried to tell my father about us but—“ he lets out a nervous breath. “I panicked, thinking that he will grow upset if he found out that his one and only son was sleeping around with the new chief inspector that he hates.” He mutters out as he leans back in his spot and groans.

Zemo chuckles softly as he stands up and moves towards y/n. He reaches out to stroke his cheek with his thumb. “We aren’t just sleeping with each other.” He adds. “We care about each other and enjoy being around one another. I love having you around my chéri.”

He blushes at his the small name, he moves it when Zemo calls him darling, it made him feel all happy inside and cheerful. As Zemo leans down to press their foreheads together, y/n can’t help but close his eyes and let out a small sigh with a smile on his face.

“te iubesc.” He whispers out.

Zemo chuckles as he responds back. “I love you too.” The two look into each others eyes as y/n leans up for a kiss. One that they have shared many times before between each other, he sighs against the kiss and runs his fingers through Zemos hair. “Helmut...”

“Yes my Chéri?” Zemo pulls away for a split second as y/n licks his lips. “as much as I’m enjoying this, we still have to find a way on how I’m going to explain this to my father.” The older man huffs out a laugh as he pulls away from y/n and sits down next to him. “I say we go to the betting shop and just tell him.”

“And let him shoot you on the spot?” Y/n raises a brow. Zemo shrugs a shoulder, “Worth a shot.” The other rolls his eyes and shakes his head. “No, we can’t do that. My father will most likely kill you or find a way too.”

This was a lot harder then he thought. His father was a blinder and he wasn’t stupid, he was able to take down many of his enemies and he would not hesitate to find a way to take down Hulmet himself. He needs to be smart and figure out a way to tell his father without angering him or anyone else in his family.

Biting his lip he thinks of an idea. “I have an aunt who lives in London, maybe she can help us?”

“What make you think your aunt will help?” Asked Zemo.

“Aunt Ada dealt with the same situation as us, she fell in love with my fathers friend. During that time they become enemies and my aunt ada was keeping their relationship a secret, she couldn’t allow anyone to know.” He explains. “Aunt Polly found out first about her relationship and then a few months later she found out about her having a baby.”

“Did your aunt ever tell Thomas?” Zemo asks and pulls y/n close, wrapping an arm around his waist as he kissed his cheek. “No, my father found out on his own. He didn’t like it but accept her and the baby, after that my aunt moved to London, wanting to stay out of the shelbys business.” He cuddles up close to Zemo. The fire keeping them warm as the room grows silent, the sound of rain and wood popping where the only things heard.

“We either tell him or wait until he finds out on his own.” Zemo blurts out. They know that it’s hard, but it’s harder for Y/n. He remembers the time Zemo took him to meet his family. The Barons were royalty and filthy rich, but that never bothered y/n or made him feel any different. Zemos father welcomed him with open arms and quickly grew a liking towards him. Zemos family was very accepting towards them and didn’t care about what others said or thought. But things were different for Y/n. His family was different, they all grew up during a war and his uncles were drafted, along with his father. They all returned back home with a lot of trauma and it was difficult to sleep at night as he would hear his uncles waking up in panic or screaming. His family were Gypsies and they were always mistreated. It took his family weeks before they could officially get on their feet, claiming shops and bars as their own and earning themselves a name. He was a Shelby and the Shelby family always had bad luck.

As it slowly grows dark he leans his head against Zemos shoulder as his eyes slowly began to drop. “Sleep my très chère.” Whispered Zemo as y/n’s eyes close and falls into a deep sleep. “Tomorrow is a big day.”

-

Polly was up early the next day, sitting in her office as she counted the bets. She preferred to up earlier than anyone else, wanting to finish her work faster so that she could head out to the bar and have a drink or two.

As she organized her things she hears a set of footsteps running inside the betting shop. “Aunt pol!” She hears Finn cry out as he jogs up to her office. “Is tommy around?” He pants out. “Probably at a bar fucking some whore.” She mumbles out. “Why?”

“There’s a man outside, claims to be Helmut Zemo.” Polly froze, her eyes widening as she looks over to Finn. “What?”

“He wants to speak with Thomas.”

Polly is quick to react. “Very well, Finn go get Thomas at the garrison and bring him back here and quick.” She ushered him a she quickly cleans up her mess only to see Finn still standing there. “What did I just say boy?! Go! Go!” She smacks the boys shoulder as Finn easily gets startled and runs off to fetch Thomas.

It doesn’t take long for Polly to allow Zemo to enter the small apartment. “Mr. Zemo.” She says with a small nod and guides towards the table. “Would you like some tea?”

Zemo steps around the place and sits down, giving Polly a polite smile as he nods. “Please and thank you.”

Polly chuckles. “A man with manners, you don’t see that everyday.” She gets a kettle started and walks around the small kitchen, growing nervous by the minute. “Is there a reason as to why you are here inspector?”

Zemo clears his throat. “I think you already know why.” Indeed she did. “This is about y/n, correct?” She glanced over her shoulder to eye the older man. “Correct.” He repeats back. “Y/n told me that i could trust you, due to you already knowing about our relationship.” He chuckles out. “He talks a lot about you and your family but...Mostly about you.”

Polly smiles at that statement. “Really? I hope it’s all good things.” She removes the kettle from the stove once it’s done heating up and poured them both some tea. She sets the cup in front of him as he thanks her in French, taking a small sip as Polly sits across from him.

“I’m guessing your here to tell Thomas Shelby about your relationship with y/n.”

Zemo stares at the small cup before turning his gaze towards Polly. “I told y/n that we would do this together, but last night I was able to sense his fear. Fear of rejection, fear of losing his family.” He explains. “So, I took the liberty to do this myself. I feel like it’s best if I say something first before anyone decided to blame y/n for his choices.”

“I don’t blame him, honesty. When I found out that our little y/n was dating the new chief inspector. Let alone a Baron, I was a bit surprised.” Polly grins, taking out a cigar as she lights it up and blows out some smoke. “So tell me, what exactly do you want to tell Thomas Shelby?”

Zemo exhales and sits up straight. “I want him to know that I really care about his son. He’s an amazing man and a perfect partner, I treat him with respect and would never think of hurting him—“

“Would you kill for him?” Polly cuts in, reminding him of who he was. Zemo gives her a frown before answering. “Yes.” He’s hurt and tortured people before but he won’t hesitate to have blood on his hands even if it means to keep his own loved ones safe. “Y/n is precious to me, I don’t treat him like a whore and I don’t play with his feelings. He’s a strong man who can protect himself and knows what he is doing but he’s also afraid. Afraid of losing his family, thinking that they’ll turn against him all because he loves an enemy of his father. He cherishes his family and cares deeply about all of you, but he too wishes to start his own life.”

Polly listens to the man carefully. “He’s not a fucking boy anymore, I remind tommy everyday but refuses to listen to me.” She sighs and rubs her temples. “Do you truly love y/n? You did say that you weren’t playing with his feelings, so do you love y/n?”

Zemo gives a small smile. “Avec tout mon coeur.”

With all of my heart

Pollys lip turn into a smile at his response. “Bien.” She said back and glanced over his shoulder to see Thomas hiding behind a wall as he listens into their conversation. Allowing Polly to take control of the situation. “Thomas is a stubborn man but will most likely understand.” She puts out her cigarette. “Y/n is Thomas first and only child, watching him grow were precious moments to Thomas. He really loves his son but the man is no longer a child, he’s an adult now who makes his own choices and decides his own fate.” She mutters out. “Thomas will grow protective, but as time goes by he will understand that Y/n won’t always be by his side.” She targets that statement more towards Thomas who was still in hiding and listening on their conversation.

“I understand if Mr. Shelby doesn’t want me anywhere near y/n, believe me—the first time y/n and I started dating he has to wait until everyone was asleep so that he can sneak out for the night. I would take him on small walks around town or visit my parents home. We usually spent most of our time in the library reading.” He chuckles out, remembering the first date they had.

The man was a nervous wreck, wanting to impress the other but also not wanting to scare him off. During their first days they spent most of their time reading books and talking about literature, something the two enjoyed doing together every once an while.

“I just want y/n to be happy.” He adds.

“And would you promise him that happiness?” Zemo turns around to see Thomas standing Over him with a dark look in his eyes. Zemo doesn’t feel threatened or intimidated by Thomas. “I promise.” He simply replies back as Thomas lets out a deep sigh and pitched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes before opening them and taking in a deep breath. “Very well, Mr. Zemo. I’ll allow my son to continue seeing you—but, if he gets hurt or if anything happens to him. My family and I will hunt you down and I’ll put a bullet through your head.” He says darkly with a harsh glare.

Zemo stands from his seat and clears his throat. “I’ve already said that I wouldn’t allow anything to happen to y/n and if anything or anyone does hurt him then I’ll make sure to kill them myself.” He utters back, giving Thomas the same look as the two men stare each other down.

“Alright that’s enough, Thomas already gave you his blessing so I suggest leaving back to your home before either of you kill each other.” Said Polly as she breaks up their staring contest. “Mr. Zemo—“

“Please, Call me Helmut.”

Polly smiles. “Helmut, I suggest heading back home before y/n wakes up and decides to give himself a panic attack.” She stands in front of Thomas, ready to stop him if he decides to do anything.

Zemo gives the two a nod. “Very well, it’s been a pleasure.” He tells the two. “And the Tea was wonderful, thank you.” He adds before leaving the shop and heading down the busy streets.

Polly lets out a deep breath that she was holding in before turning to face Thomas. “He slept at his place?!” Thomas growls out in anger as Polly rolls her eyes. “When will you understand.”

[writer-loogi2]

♡︎𝚁𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚘𝚖 𝙿𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝙼𝚒𝚌 𝙷𝙲𝚜 ( 𝚙𝚝. 2 )♡︎

A/N: I'm really really bored. And since I haven't received any requests at all, I'll just do something productive, like idk, write random crap that nobody asked for.

Anyway, I'mma write with Present Mic again because I love him sm lmao-

♡︎𝙽𝚘𝚝𝚎: Read part one [ here! ] Read part three [ here! ] Read part four [ here! ]

♡︎♡︎♡︎

♡︎𝙲𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚝: Random Present Mic headcanons! ( part two!! )

♡︎𝚆𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐!! None! ( just random funny stuff )

♡︎♡︎♡︎

( ♡︎𝙲𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚞𝚝!♡︎ )

• Very random but I have a feeling that he always sends text messages or emails in ALL CAPS. ( it's not because he's angry or anything like that, he's just trying to signify how loud he is lmao ). When he doesn't send messages in ALL CAPS it's either because Aizawa stole his phone, or something's wrong. ( Basically no ALL CAPS equals BAD )

• I feel like if he had social media he would most likely have Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook, ( Tiktok would probably be an option too). But I like to think he uses Twitter the most, and he only uses Facebook ( not very often ) to look at crappy memes.

• His sneezes are TERRIFYING. Like he's the type of person that sneezes so loud it scares the crap out of you and it can be heard from a mile away. 💀

• ( Remember that stupid headcanon I said where he can mimic voices or whatever? ) Well, he can mimic sounds too! ( and again he uses it to do harmless pranks on people ).

• Another random sleeping headcanon I have is that he moves A LOT in his sleep. Like there's a huge chance that if you sleep next to him he's probably gonna accidentally hit you with an arm or a leg. He's like a cat when they stretch-

• I also feel like he sometimes talks in his sleep? He doesn't say much, just random things. ( it's super creepy the first time he does it though- )

• Y'all can't argue with me on this but I just know that he totally sings in the shower. ( and his shampoo bottles are microphones now lmao )

• (Okay so this is really weird but I've seen people headcanon, or well, actually draw Present Mic with tattoos all over his body, mostly on his arms, back or chest) But I like to think he has a tattoo on his butt- and I have 3 reasons as to why he got it..

1) It either symbolizes something important.

2) He probably got it as a joke.

3) He lost a bet and had to get one.

• ^( Sadly I don't know what he would tattoo on his butt, just imagine something cool since I got nothing in mind )

• Why do I get the feeling that he talks with his mouth full? I just know he does 😖

• ( Bro, I just thought of somethin' stupid he most definitely does- ) he tries so hard NOT to say any curse words ( especially around the students ), so instead he says "Sugar Honey Ice Tea" a lot. ( which stands for S.H.I.T. 🥴 )

• I kinda like to imagine his eyes can glow in the dark- idk why, it just seems like a cool concept.

• His hands are really pretty and they feel so soft??? Like you'd probably think his hands are maybe kinda dry and rough but nah, his hands are super soft and smooth like wtf- ( mans does manicures sometimes lmao )

• Yo yo, I just know he takes FOREVER washing his hair. ( not only it's because it's so long but also because he uses SO much hairspray )

• ( Hear me out, have you ever done that thing were you listen to a really good song and you start to gently tap a surface with your fingers to the beat? ) Well, Present Mic does that too! He does it a lot actually. ( mostly while grading papers or when he's driving- )

• ( I've been thinking about this a lot but I headcanon that teen Present Mic hitting puberty is probably the funniest shit ever ) He kinda sounds like he's using some weird autotune for whenever he talks but sadly that's just his voice going through some changes so he kinda sounds like that. ( poor baby )

• ( And finally ) This is super random and kinda stupid but I get the feeling that he tries to watch animal documentaries about bugs to try to get rid of his fear but he just c a n ' t. For him it's the equivalent of watching a horror movie.

A/N: Oh boy- I finally did it! I wrote more headcanons with my favorite loud banana-

I hope you enjoy these as much as the first one!

°.♡┈┈∘*┈୨୧┈*∘┈┈♡.°

♡︎𝙼𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝♡︎

[all-my-love-for-harry]

Not yours.

summary: someone tries to force their way back to y/n's life and harry isn't having any of it.

word count: ----

based on these requests:

“also!! what about something angsty? maybe artemis gets hurt or something and harry is just in full on dad mode”

and 

“What about caleb seeing the trio on tabloids, so he gets slightly jealous and “want’s” back into Artemis’ life unexpectedly.”

and

“ could you write something for my shy little boy about Artemis real father finding out that harry adopted him and showing up at their house claiming that Artemis is his son and basically trying to claim his rights as a father, and harry gets REALLY protective, plsss i would love that concept”

and

“Can you do one in the shy little boy universe where Artemis's dad tries to come back in his life or something. Like he sees them and he's life 'give me a second chance' . I love your writing. Thanks”

you can find more of my shy little boy here

*:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･: *:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･:

November, 2019.

Park days were the best days for the Styles family. They didn’t get to have them as much as they’d like as they were always so busy, but today was an off day and Artemis was responsible for choosing what they were going to do. And of course he chose the park.

Y/N packed some snacks in a picnic basket while Harry took the job of dressing Artemis up. Obviously Artemis ended up way too dress up for just going to the park but it wasn’t a secret Harry was crazy about them wearing the same color or matching outfits to go out.

Harry had picked a pair of white shorts and paired it with a pastel yellow polo shirt he tucked into the shorts. Artemis looked adorable although Harry knew his son most likely get the clothes dirty as soon as they arrive to the park.

“Daddy, my nose itches.” Artemis tried to take off his glasses but Harry stopped him.

Last month they had an appointment with the ophthalmologist and Artemis had to change his glasses at his doctor's request. But Artemis wasn't happy with his new ones, he was always looking for an excuse to take them off or hiding them from his parents.

"Better?" Harry asked, using his fingers to scratch softly where Artemis pointed it itched. The much smaller boy nodded. "You need the glasses, sweetheart. Don't take them off."

"I like my old ones better, why can't i have those?"

"Those doesn't work for you anymore, monkey." He explained. "C'mon, let's put your shoes on." Harry knelt in front of him to watch how Artemis ties his sneakers up, he smiled when his son made it without a problem.

"I just put the things in the car, are you ready?" Y/N said when she saw them coming down the stairs.

"Yes! Let's go, let's go!" Artemis almost jumped from the lasts steps.

Artemis rambled the entire ride about all the fun things they’d do together once they got there, constantly asking if they were at the park already. When they arrived, Harry was surprised it wasn’t so full of people, considering it was the weekend. Y/N unfolded the blanket on the grass, laying the stuff they brought.

“Daddy, let’s play.” Artemis pulled from Harry’s arm, making the latest chuckle.

“Just be careful, please. We don’t want you to fall.” Y/N remained her son, who was too busy running around with his dad.

It was a beautiful day outside, there wasn’t a single cloud in the sky, and the weather was perfect despite being in the middle of November. Harry had packed a Frisbee Artemis liked to use in their backyard and that’s what they were using to play.

Harry made sure to throw it softly at his son, not wanting the toy to hit him in the face. Artemis threw his hands in the air every time his daddy caught it.

Everything happened too fast, none of his parents could catch Artemis before he was face down on the grass. He had tried to throw the Frisbee higher but didn’t control his strength and he ended up on the floor.

Harry’s eyes grew wide as he ran towards the small child, his heart breaking as he heard his loud sobs. He picked him up from the grass and scooped him in his arms.

"Are you hurt? Where does it hurt, baby? Is it your arm?" He said, panic visible in his tone.

"He scraped his knees." Y/N said before cooing at Artemis, trying to calm him down. "Got some band aids for your knees, my love. It's okay." She took him in her arms and handed the band aids to Harry so he could put them on his boy's knees after cleaning the little blood that was there.

Caressing his hair softly, Y/N sat back down on the blanket, putting Artemis on her lap to wipe his tears off. "All better?" He nodded with a pout on his face.

Harry copied his son's pout, sitting next to them on the blanket. He didn't like seeing his love being upset, and he'd lie if he said he didn't feel a little guilty for him getting hurt.

"It's okay, accidents happen and sometimes we get hurt." Y/N said as if she could read Harry's thoughts. "What if we eat and then we can go for ice cream."

The smile reappeared on Artemis' face as he stood up from his mum's lap and cheered excitedly. Artemis ate whatever Y/N had packed for them, hurrying his parents so they could go get dessert.

"Are you okay?" Y/N asked Harry at the end of the day when Artemis was falling asleep on his daddy's shoulder as he carried him back to the car. "You've been quiet since he fell."

"Just worried. Should we take him to ER?"

"For scraped knees? Don't think so. Harry, it's fine, really. He doesn't even remember he has them." She assured. "Tomorrow it will be all better."

"But he cried so loud." He furrowed as they reached the car and Y/N opened the door of the backseat so Harry could put him on his carseat. "I was worried he hurt his elbow or something."

"I guess it was more out of surprise. He wasn't expecting to fall facedown on the floor." Once everything and everyone were in the car, Harry started to drive back home. "Please don't beat yourself up for this. It was literally an accident."

"But i was playing with him."

"Yes, but you couldn't have prevented it from happen."

She put a hand on his thigh, not wanting him to feel any worse from something so small. Artemis doesn't have a lot of accidents as he is a calm boy who doesn't play sports or anything that requires running or jumping, but when they happen, he gets scared and that's normal. No kid likes to see blood coming out of them, even if it's only a little.

"As a parent the best you can do is stay calm during these situations. If you don't panic, then he doesn't either." She smiled at him.

Y/N loved how protective Harry was, his skills as a parent never failed to show in any situation. But he was still very new at it, and he couldn't help but want to put his boy in a little bubble so nothing bad would happen to him.

*:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･: *:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･:

A week later, Y/N was cooking dinner while Artemis was upstairs in the movie room watching a cooking show on Netflix. Lately he's been obsessed with those and could watch entire seasons if his parents let him.

Harry was out having a meeting with his team but promised to be back for dinner, so it was just the two of them in the house.

The buzzer sounded, alerting someone was at the other side of the gates. Y/N put down the knife she was holding and walked towards the little screen that allowed her to see who was there.

Her breathe hitched when she saw Caleb standing there. He was looking the other way but Y/N could recognize him anywhere. A frown appeared on her face as he hit the buzzer again. She stayed in her place, starting at the screen and hoping he'd turn around and leave.

But he didn't.

She was ready to go outside and tell him to leave but she heard the gates open before she could do so. The gates opening meant Harry was home.

And home he was. But he furrowed as soon as he saw a body standing there. He didn't recognize the man but he was pretty sure he's seem his face before.

He parked inside but didn't close again the gates as he returned outside. "Can i help you?" Harry asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Is Y/N home?" The stranger asked, putting his hands inside of his pockets. "I need to speak to her."

"I'm sorry, who are you?"

"Doesn't matter, i need to see Y/N."

"Uh, it does matter, actually. Why is it so important to speak to my girlfriend?" Harry questioned again in a protective tone.

Before he could answer Harry's question, Y/N came out of the house, closing the door behind her before rushing towards the two man. She stood beside Harry, taking his hand in hers.

"What are you doing here, Caleb?" She asked and Harry's brain finally clicked. He looked so different from the only picture he's seen of him. "What do you want?"

"I need to see him, Y/N." Caleb said, almost in a demanding tone. Y/N looked up at Harry, who already had a deep, angry frown on his face. "I-I saw that video of you three at the park and... Y/N, i'm ready to meet my-"

"He's not your son." Harry barked angrily.

"Harry's right, Caleb. He's not yours in any way." She said sternly. "Besides, i bet it isn't the first video or picture you've seen of us, what could possibly make this one different?"

"I saw him getting hurt." He said defensively. "It.. awoke something in me. I want to be a father, Y/N."

"Then go ahead and get a family of your own because neither Artemis nor I have anything to do with you. Do i have to remind you, you signed the paper giving up your paternal rights?" Y/N started to get angry and Harry squeezed her hand.

"I was twenty-one, Y/N."

"So was I!" She now exclaimed.

"I think it's best if you leave." Harry spoke again, trying to control his anger before he punched that man straight on the face.

"And you are?" Caleb asked "Oh, right. You're the guy she replaced me with. Does my son calls you daddy too?"

"She didn't replace you, she just moved on with someone way better." He smirked. "And yes, my son calls me daddy, must hurt, right? Now get the fuck out of my property before i call the bloody cops."

Harry let go of Y/N's hand just to push Caleb out, not being able to hold his anger anymore. "If i ever see you close to my family, i'll fucking ruin you."

When Caleb was back on his car, Harry finally closed the gates and turned to see Y/N. "I'm sorry you had to see him, my love."

Y/N sighed. "I'm okay. I just... I hadn't seen him since he..." Her lip started trembling but she swallowed the tears. "Seeing his face brought back a lot of emotions."

"Couldn't imagine." Harry took her in his arms and kissed her forehead. "But you won't see him anymore, over my dead body."

"Thank you."

Harry smiled softly at her, supping her face with his hands and pecking her lips. "Thank you for letting me be the one by your side."

"I wouldn't dream of having anyone else."

☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁

taglist!!

@myfavfanficsever @odetostep @la-cey @cock-a-doodely-doo @awkwardbullfrog @mellamolayla @moorgannn @bagtan-serendipity @awesomebooklover17 @finelineribs @sunnybusiness @beanholland @sweetenerstyle @cronias13 @vhsharry @maisley @seasidecrowbar @stylesfics-xx @autumnpauley20 @fineline-hs1 @stephaniemalvie @immajustreadwritereblog @jadert15 @iguessweallcrazyithinktho @abundanceofsoph @harrysthicccthighs

[nobodycallsmerae]

Hey, I hope you’re well! 🙃Can I ask #7 and #32?

Hi hi!! I'm fine! I hope you're doing great too!! I've written another shot based on prompt #32, (which im quite proud of) and you can find it here. You haven't mentioned a pairing, so I'm just gonna write for bbrae :)

I humbly tried to dabble into the holy world of office romance. You should see my manhwa reading list. My last 6-7 webcomics are filled with office romances XoX

____

'What? But I've been working overtime for the past twelve days!' He whined, practically on the verge of tears.

'Well that's tragic,' The vice president rolled her eyes. 'But you are my secretary now, and you have to be competent in what you do.'

'But..!'

Raven Roth had no idea how she'd gotten herself into this situation.

She was the vice president of a successful company, an accomplished and respected 28-year-old woman, but now she was stuck here, in her office, arguing pointlessly with a man-child.

Her old secretary (and only friend) Kory Anders, was on her honeymoon, leaving Raven with.. Him.

‘No “buts” Mr. Logan,’ Raven cut him off. ‘The company is going through a critical time now, and I want every employee to give their hundred percent. And you-’

Sometimes she wondered why she didn’t just fire him, but, truth be told, even if he was messy, and lazy, and was definitely not used to working behind the table, 27-year-old Garfield Logan was actually quite good at what he did.

And also that her old secretary had personally hired him, and Raven did not want to deal with an angry Kory Anders.

‘M-Mr. Logan are you…?’ She looked at her now secretary, who had slumped shoulders and was looking downwards.

‘How do you expect me to work like this?!’ He finally snapped, looking up at her and walking closer to her desk. ‘I get sleep for a grand total of three hours a day, I haven’t had a proper meal and have been practically living on caffeine and I don’t have any plants in my new apartment!!’

‘Plants…?’ She raised an eye-brow.

‘I just needed a third thing, okay?’ Gar cried out. He took a few deep breaths and with his chin touching his chest, his shoulders began to shake.

‘Mr. Lo- Logan are you… cryi-’

‘Yes! Yes, I’m having a mental breakdown right now!’ He exclaimed, looking up at her with tears in his eyes. ‘You may be perfect, Ms. Roth, but I am not! I’m nowhere near perfect, and I’m trying my best to keep up with you here. I’m trying my best, I swear, but I can’t anymore. You’ve ought to give me a break. If I had a girlfriend, I bet she’d want me to quit.’

‘..Well, you don’t have a girlfriend…’ Raven quietly muttered, feeling kind of guilty all of a sudden.

‘Because I’ve been working for you the whole time!!’ Gar yelled, watching her wince as he did.

He finally exhaled, and calmed himself. He stepped back, and suddenly, a professional aura surrounded him, which made Raven blink twice.

‘..I’m sorry Ms. Roth.’ He regarded her. ‘I’m sorry for behaving in an-’

A quite peculiar, but not not-good sound made him stop in his tracks, and in front of him, he could see his superior…. Laughing?

Gar had worked for Raven Roth for almost a month now, and he had never even seen the sides of her lips turning upwards, often making him wonder if they were fixed in a slight frown. But now, in front of him at 10 pm, The Raven Roth was laughing her heart out. Gar blinked, and even rubbed his eyes, wondering if he was hallucinating, because, truthfully, the scene in front of him was… making his heart flutter.

‘I-I’m sorry Mr. Logan..’ Raven said between laughs, covering her mouth with her hand. ‘But no employee has ever talked to me like that before… I would say that you’re almost being… cute.’

‘Well.. of course they haven’t,’ Gar coughed, trying to hide his obvious blush. ‘They’re practically working zombies…’

‘Heh, well you know what,’ Raven sighed, rolling her stiff shoulders into her plush chair. 'You can go home for today… But, I need those papers present on my table by next Monday. Understand?'

'Yes, Ma'am!!' Gar happily exclaimed, saluting her.

‘I may say… you’re being quite perky for someone who was whimpering not two seconds ago.’

‘Heh.. yeah, about that..’ He blushed, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. ‘Can we just pretend the last five minutes of our lives never happened?’

‘Even the time I told you to wrap it up for the day?’ Raven slyly played along, not knowing what had gotten into her… but not disliking it either. ‘Okay, then, get the files from-’

She looked at him, pouting like a cute little puppy which was kicked in the- wait…

...Cute?

Raven Roth didn’t think things were cute, let alone other humans. She didn’t go around swooning over other men like some women, but what had invaded her thoughts right now?

Well, she did say that the puppy was cute… that had to count for something, right?

‘It’s okay, Mr. Logan, you may go. I was just messing with you.’

‘Phew.’ With a hand on his fine chest, the secretary let out a sigh. Wait, fi- ‘And also, now that we’re off the clock, please, you can call me Gar, Rav-’

‘And you may call me Ms. Roth.’

‘Ms. Roth.’ He smiled. He slightly bowed his head as a silent greeting and walked out of her office.

Raven thought about continuing her work, like she’s been doing every single night-

‘Mr. Garfield?’ She called out, surprising herself as she did.

‘Si?’ Gar immediately popped his head back into her office, almost as if he’d been standing in front of the door the whole time.

Now that he was looking oh-so intently at her, she blushed. And the last time the vice president had blushed was probably(?) when she was in kindergarden…

‘I.. J-just.. I wanted…’ Raven stumbled, making Gar raise his eye-brows with disbelief. ‘Just.. ah, thank you. I.. I needed this. This may seem a little out of character for me-’

‘A little?’ He teased.

‘Okay, well,’ She huffed. ‘This may not seem like myself, but..’ She sighed, almost bashfully fingering the folders on her table. ‘You know I don’t have many friends, everybody knows that. There are only people who are more-or-less fearful of me because of my designation. And ever since Kory went on her… vacation, I have just been working without a care in the world. But… this, whatever weird little confrontation we had right now… it was refreshing. I really needed that laugh, honestly,’ She chuckled. ‘So.. thank you.’

Gar’s face was colored red, and she was almost sure it mirrored hers, but he just smiled. ‘Anytime.’ He winked. 'And.. I'm your friend now! So don't hesitate to come to me anytime you're in need of a pal.'

Raven awkwardly smiled and got back to the task she was doing on her computer.

‘Umm.. Ms. Roth, aren’t you gonna go home too?’

‘Huh, me? No.’ She shook her head, stifling a yawn. ‘I have this presentation to be tak-’

‘What? But today is Friday.. You have the whole weekend ahead of you! You should take a break!’

‘No, Mr. Loga- Garfield, it’s okay.’ He'd taken a seat on one of the chairs in front of her table. ‘You should go ahead...’

‘Oh, Ms. Roth..’ He sighed. ‘If you take a break now, and get a decent good night’s sleep while you still can, you’ll be refreshed and will be more energized to do your work later on; which will make your work even better! So.. what do ya’ say?’

Gar smiled at her, but he seemed dumbfounded once he saw the expression on her face. She was blushing, very heavily, and Gar wasn’t sure if he’d done something which made her face flush. He raised an eye-brow, to which Raven shyly responded by pointing towards her desk with her eyes. As he looked down at where her eyes were pointed, he saw that his hands were covering hers, almost in an affectionate way.

‘Ahem.’ He pulled back at once, his face flushed with shock and embarrassment.

Raven tried regaining her composure, flattening the front of her suit as a distraction and trying to not concentrate on the warmth that was still lingering on her usually cold hands.

‘Well, Mr. Logan, I thank you for your concern, but…’ The VP sighed, eyeing the files on her desk, thinking back on what had happened a few moments ago. Raven wasn’t the kind of person to reconsider things; She had a schedule and she followed it accordingly. But she also wasn’t the kind of person who’d be easily flustered around people, blush (so many times!), or have such… inappropriate thoughts about a co-worker. (Raven believes “cute” is highly inappropriate.) She also made a mental note to go for a health check-up soon, because she wasn’t sure if her heart was supposed to be beating so fast. Or be missing beats.

‘..I’m going to say something and regret it real quick.’ She mumbled. ‘Okay.. have it your way!’

‘Sweet!’ Gar laughed. ‘Seeing as we’re the only people left, let’s head out together!’ He suggested before walking out.

Raven looked dazed for a moment, but then quickly sorted through the files and folders. She organised what she needed and what she would take a look at later, and sighed at her empty table.

Rummaging through her bag, she looked for her car keys. ‘Shit.’

'You okay?' He called out to her. 'Whoa, that was so cool!' She heard him say to himself as his voice echoed through the empty office.

'Nothing, just..' She exhaled. 'I locked the keys in the car, and my spare keys are at home...' She looked frustrated.

'Oh man...' Gar stood at her door, looking down. 'Uhh, can't you just call up your butler or something?'

'It's almost 11 at night, Garfield.' She let out a long sigh.

'Wait.. but can't you rich people like, call your butlers anytime and they'll be present?'

'What do you think this is, a no-budget fanfiction?' Raven rolled her eyes. Her head was laying on her clean table, and Gar couldn't help but blush after seeing her look so laid-back in front of him. 'Well, I can call them, but I wouldn't want to disturb them. Besides, I can just call a cab for now.'

'Or I could give you a ride!' Gar abruptly suggested.

'Umm?' The woman awkwardly raised an eye-brow, not able to find her words to reply to him.

'I mean..' He started, scratching the back of his neck. 'I was the one who suggested we wrap up for the day, and I'm here with you now. If anything were to happen to you, it is really unsafe now, late at night, I wouldn't help but feel responsible. So let me-'

'Garfield.. I-' Raven blushed. 'I don't think it will be suitable for me to accompany a co-worker like this... And also if people think there's an ulterior motive-'

'I don't have any ulterior motives, Rae.' He smiled. 'I'm just a concerned guy looking out for a friend.'

'Very well... Thank you, Garfield.' She looked down at her table, trying to hide her flushed face. 'Also, nobody calls me "Rae".'

'Yes ma'am!' The secretary smiled and walked out to his cubicle to get his things, leaving Raven alone in her office.

Right then, Raven Roth knew something had changed. Be it the atmosphere or herself, she wasn't sure, but something had definitely changed between her and this Gar Logan.

Maybe it was just one-sided; maybe it was because nobody had made her laugh like that, (even though he didn't do it on purpose.), maybe because no one else had ever suggested her to leave her precious work and get sleep. It could be because for the first time, someone had talked to her as Raven (...or Rae) and not “Vice President, Miss. Roth”. Or probably because it was the first time somebody had cared for her enough to stay back and offer a ride.

She wasn't sure why (or what exactly), but she knew something had changed... and in the deepest, darkest corners of her mind, Raven selfishly hoped it didn't change back.

‘You ready?’ He reappeared at her office, bowing a little melodramatically as he caught her eye.

'Yeah…' Raven smiled. 'I'm ready.'

____

Believe it or not the whole meltdown-in-front-of-lady-boss thing is based on a real incident lmho.

Anyway, I hoped you enjoyed this!! Please share your thoughts :>

[send me a prompt]

[ashintheairlikesnow]

Fish

For @whump-advent-calendar‘s day 4-6, Burn/Candles

CW: Referenced medical whump and dehumanization, light burn (accidental), captivity, muzzling, drugging reference, reluctant whumper turned caretaker

Introduction | Siren Song | Cries | Here | Not Sure | Draw Blood | Fish | Signs

---

BAHRAM’S NOTES NOTE TO SELF - SAVE IN EXTERNAL HARD DRIVE. DO NOT LET DR. L SEE.

October 22nd, 20XX 3:45 am Mer in Residence: 19 Days

It’s time to admit I’m more or less keeping a diary at this point as I get to understanding him. So far I’ve written separate notes to myself… for ten or so straight days of the nineteen we’ve had him here, and it’s getting harder to write the official transcriptions the way Dr. L wants me to.

Dr. Lachlan insists I call the mer ‘it’, that it’s to help me distance myself emotionally since it’s such a good mimic of humanity, but I don’t think it’s a damn mimic, I think it’s just… human.

I mean, obviously it’s not HUMAN, but… Miah spelled it out for me, we had an argument about this when he first got here. She gets so angry that he’s getting hurt and you know, I guess I believed Dr. L - mer aren’t my specialty field, I’m a snake man really, I don’t know the first bloody thing about fucking cetaceans. 

Anyway, I said to her at the time, “It’s not human.”

She told me, “Maybe not H-U-M-A-N, but P-E-R-S-O-N,” just like jabbing me in the chest afterward. Also, Miah can fingerspell in a way that really makes you feel like a six year old getting yelled at by your mother, for the record. I can’t describe it any other way. I was ready to just melt away from personal embarrassment before she even finished signing “person.”

That’s not the point of this. 

I didn’t start a diary just to tell myself how right Miah is about all of this, but hey, here we are.

I need some days off so badly.

Miah wasn’t around today, it’s really just been me and the mer - I’m off for four days coming up here, after 20 days of work, and she’s going to come in and do 24-hour watch until I’m back. It’s not so bad - I don’t really know anyone here, and the bed’s comfortable enough. Dr. L’s paying rent on my apartment so I won’t lose it while I’m working, anyway.

I still feel like some low-level henchman, though. Like any moment some asshole in a tank top is going to show up with guns and I’ll just be a faceless evil stepping stone before the boss fight with Dr. L. 

I mean, we all know that Dr. L’s going to be the boss fight, right? Anders would just like lay down or throw Miah in front of himself or something.

No, that’s not fair, he really does love her.

Bahram this is all hypotheticals about a video game. Get back on track, man.

So Miah must have gone shopping or something. She came back with a bag full of these candles from this bookstore she really likes. I mean she came back with an insane amount of books, too, but she had this candle she pulled out and put down on my desk.

She set down the candle - it’s this really nice deep blue and has some kind of like ocean scene painted on the label, like, isn’t that thematic - and smiled at me. “This one reminded me of what we’re doing,” She told me, and her signs were… softer. Her expressions were softer alongside them.

Does that mean… anything? I don’t know. She just put it on my desk and then wandered off. I thanked her but I had to take her shoulder and get her to look at me, first. Maybe her face was a little red.

Maybe not. 

We keep the tank room pretty warm, I’m sort of cold-natured and the mer seems more active when we keep the lights really warm, so… 

I don’t get why she bought me a candle and why she looked away before I could thank her for it. I don’t get it, and I feel like I should, but I don’t. Is she not looking because it wasn’t a big deal, or because it was a big deal, or… what?

I really WOULD sink into the floor if Dr. L or Miah ever saw that I wrote this. Get it together, Bahram. You are not writing a diary about Miah fucking Kirsse. 

It’s been just me and the mer, all day. Dr. L was gone, too, meeting with whoever’s funding this whole thing. She’ll be gone until next week, so there’s no real work getting done, for now. Just blood draws.

She’s showing them its claws she took off. I don’t know why. Honestly, I have such a bad feeling about this, but I needed the cash and nowhere else was hiring for a job that would give me room and board and still time to work on my own research. Not that I’ve done a bit of THAT in a week.

I get too distracted by the mer.

He swims in circles. He stares at nothing, or pokes the plastic coral and ferns we got him, or hides in his cave. I can switch the screens over to watch the camera feed from inside the cave, but he doesn’t do much in there, either. I caught him picking at his scales, and I need to ask Dr. L about that. She took three scales off his tail, which for the record I had nothing to do with (whose record? I’m writing this to myself, and what the fuck does it matter about scales when I’m the one sticking the damn needle in his elbow twice a week), and I caught him sort of whistling sadly and picking at the empty spaces. 

They’ll grow back, Dr. L says. She’s not worried.

I am.

A little.

I’m starting to think Dr. L is lying about a lot of things, and I’m not sure what to do about that. If anything. This is a job, and I get paid better than I’ve ever been paid in my life. So… what do I do?

I could call the hotline and report him. It’s anonymous. 

She’d know I did it.

I don’t know why, but… I don’t want her to know it was me. Cowardice, I guess. Pure bloody cowardice.

But Miah hasn’t emailed the hotline, either. We can’t both be cowards, right?

Anyway.

Tonight was tank cleaning, which is a bloody fucking chore. Anders was around long enough to help me get the mer tranq’d and into the lift and then the rolling tank where he can just sit until I get my work done. Poor thing just lolls around when he’s tranq’d up. Barely blinks. 

Doesn’t stop its fucking crying, though.

We took a lot of blood from him today, too, so he was very weak. Barely moved, just curled himself up small so he was totally in the water and watched me work after Anders left. We’ve got a scrubber machine that does the hard work, I just have to hose some things down and then make sure its filter is still operating correctly. Watch the scrubber. Whole process takes about three hours from start to tank totally refilled, as long as I do it weekly. It’ll take much longer if I let it slide.

Double-checked the camera in the cave, and when I walked out of it I saw the mer’s head was up, watching everything I was doing. He dropped right back down under the water when he saw me looking at him. The muzzle looks so monstrous on him, but more than that, it makes him look like a monster.

Maybe Dr. L doesn’t muzzle him to keep us safe, but to keep me from seeing his expressions while I’m here with him all day.

No, that’s stupid. She doesn’t even think he’s sentient, right?

I finished up, and when I came to roll him back to the lift, I saw he’d popped his head up out of the rolling tank and was looking around the room itself. He hasn’t really looked around at all before this, and he was still tranq’d but maybe I fucked up the dosage? Because he was pretty alert, kind of whistling to himself and giving little chirps and clicks. He sounds like some weird mix of killer whale and fucking otters or something. When he saw me, he flinched back down under the water, but I had this idea.

Dr. L took his claws, and he’s still muzzled except when he’s on the table or when he eats, so like, it’s not like he can hurt me, right?

His eyes had gone to my desk, looking at… I guess all my books and papers and my laptop and everything. Maybe the candle. I waved my hand around until I saw that he was watching me again. With those big eyes it’s hard to tell exactly what he’s looking at, but when I clapped my hands he blinked at me, so I know he can hear it, can see me.

Then - and I swear I’m not lying - he moved himself up out of the water, and put his palms together. His earfins twitched out and back against his scalp, and his white hair dripped water all down his shoulders. 

He cocked his head at me. Then he put his hands together, harder this time. He clapped, and then… he clicked.

I KNEW it. I KNEW clicks were questions. Dr. L said their brains don’t work that way, but I bet they do. Who’s even considered how their brains work? Maybe they’re just like us. All the studying I’ve been doing shows that the scans we’ve done of dead ones are pretty similar in overall size and placement of their center of language. They’ve shown that mer populations have their own dialects if they don’t interact with each other, like the Atlantic transients sound totally different than the Pacific transients, which sound different than the residents that stick close to the coastlines up by Alaska...

Making my own head hurt. I don’t even care about fucking mammals, but I guess I do now. 

“That’s right,” I said when he clapped, not like he can understand but still. I said it, and I clapped again, and he clapped back. “Can you give me your head? I’ll take your muzzle off, yeah? If you don’t bite.”

Dumbest fucking idea ever, but hey. 

I think maybe he knows the word muzzle, because he whistled and shrunk down again, lowering his hands. His ear flaps flattened again. I saw the deep red marks around his neck, from how we have to use the catch-pole to get him out, and I just. I just felt like shit, you know?

I’m shit, that’s what I am, we’re torturing a child, more or less, who hasn’t done a thing to anyone but be by himself because he lost his bloody fucking family. I can’t keep telling myself I’m not the bad guy, you know? 

I’m going to jail if I report him, aren’t I? I helped bring him in, after all. There’s my whole career down the drain.

Is this how it felt when everyone was being shit to monkeys in the 70′s and calling it psychology? Did some of them just go along with it because they thought they had to?

This is not helpful, Bahram.

I sat down at my desk and tried to figure it out. His eyes were on me the whole time. I looked over at Miah’s candle, and looked at the label. Like I said, ocean scene. Fronds and ferns and…

I turned the label to face the mer, and tapped on the image with my finger. “Fish,” I said, feeling dumb as hell. I told myself, it’s a bloody animal, Dr. L would roll around laughing at you for this.

But he came back up out of the water. There was a long moment, and I heard him click, and then a soft, “Sssshhhhhh,” sound came from behind his muzzle. They have lips like ours, although their way of communicating is basically whalesong and relies heavily on underwater acoustics. He’s louder in the tank than out of it, although I guess fear might make him quiet, too.

The recordings I found on youtube they get in the ocean are deafening loud. Their voices travel so well underwater, it’s amazing. People sell fucking CDs with mersong over piano to fall asleep to. 

I poked at the ocean scene on the label again. “Fish,” I said firmly. “Do you want fish?”

He knows fish. 

I KNOW he knows fish because he sat up, held out his right arm, and tapped his elbow with a blunt-edged, broken-off claw before he looked back at me, trembling with fear. He clicked again, twice.

I can’t even tell you how shit I feel, realizing he was asking if I was going to take his blood first. That’s what he meant, it has to be. He poked at the exact spot where he’s bruised up from the needle. 

But it makes sense, right? 

He’s been here twenty days, more or less. Every couple of days, when he’s hungry enough, we bribe him with fish to get the pole on him, take blood or whatever else, and then he eats. 

No, WE don’t take his blood. I take his blood.

He thinks - and he’s fucking thinking, I know he is - that he only eats if we stick a needle in him.

I’m hurting a child.

I’m teaching a child to be hurt.

I’m not religious but this feels like the sort of thing you ask for forgiveness for, doesn’t it? I should call Maman and ask her who I could talk to. I’m going to call Maman or Baba tomorrow.

No I’m not.

What would I tell them I need to speak to someone about?

What if whoever I speak to calls and reports him, and Dr. L knows it was because of me?

I need to stop thinking about this. 

“No, NOT draw blood,” I said, and he whimpered again, held out his arm further, closer to me, tapped his elbow again. I knew he could still hurt me - their strength is prodigious, the first time we got him out of the tank he nearly pulled Dr. L down into the water with him - but I decided it was worth the risk. 

I kept thinking, he’s more scared of me than I am of him, but you know, of course he is. He’s the one with bruises.

I stretched my own arm out and showed it to him. He flinched back a little, and then leaned forward again, sitting in the little rolling tank that’s barely big enough to hold him. His blunt claws touched my arm, delicate as a feather, clicking as he poked at the sleeve of my sweater. 

“No draw blood,” I said. “Just fish. Eat.” I mimed chewing.

He looked at me and clicked twice, cocking his head, then looked at my candle from Miah, pointing at the ocean scene. “Ffff-sshhhh,” he said, muffled. 

“No, that’s a candle, it just has fish painted on it. Candle. Fire. Yes?”

Blank stare. 

Then, repeated, “Ffff-sssshhh.”

I sighed and pulled out my little lighter. I don’t smoke or anything, but I hate the way matches smell, so I have a lighter on me basically all the time. Plus, having lighters was a pretty good way to make friends back in undergrad when I gave a fuck about that. 

I flicked on the lighter, and the mer chirped, curiously. 

Has it never seen fire before?

Why would it, it lives in the ocean. Don’t be a dumbshit, Bahram.

“Fire,” I said, and held it out a little for a closer look. “Fire.” I tilted it and lit the candle, and the mer leaned forward, rapt, as the wick sparked up to flame and I blew the smaller flame on the lighter out. 

“FFfffff,” The mer said, barely audible. It clicked and held out its hand, and I wasn’t fast enough.

“No, wait stop-”

The mer’s fingertips touched the flame and it let out a deafening loud cry of pain and jerked its hand back down into the water, whimpering at the new kind of hurt, looking at me like it was MY fault, and maybe it was. Eyebrows furrowed, little crease in its forehead, big sad eyes. 

The big sad eyes are wrecking me.

“Well, don’t touch fire and you won’t burn,” I said, shaking my head. “No touch fire. Fire bad. Fire burn.”

He held out his hand to show me. “Ffff-rrrrr.” It was a plaintive little breath of air, not quite a real sound. 

The ends of two fingers were a little dark, that’s all. I could explain that by saying he’d hurt himself in the tank, maybe. I shook my head and pointed at the water, and it put its hand back in there, huffing a little breath of relief, I think. The water probably helped with the sting. 

“Right. Fire bad. No fire.”

“Ffff-rrr... buh-ddd.” 

“Right. Fire bad.” I stood up and walked over behind him, and he tried to turn and watch me but I shook my head and pointed back at the candle and he sort of huffed again and looked away. I felt him tense when my fingers touched the back of his head, but he sat still.

Probably because if he struggles when she goes to take the muzzle off or gets her fingers near his mouth, Dr. L has this electricity stick thing… 

I’m not supposed to mention that in the transcripts.

I’m not supposed to mention how he screams, and he doesn’t sound like a whale or an otter, then. He doesn’t sound like an animal.

He sounds like a child.

He IS a child

He’s just

I’m a fucking

No. I need to focus. This is stuff I can’t tell Dr. L, I need to write it down here where it’s safe.

The muzzle is easy to get off, you just need to be looking right at it, and I unbuckled and pulled it free, feeling a little resistance from how well it stuck to his face. Without it on, there are deep red lines along his cheeks and jaw, not open or bleeding, just irritated. 

He didn't grab at me, or bite. Just watched me with his big eyes as I laid it down on my desk. For a second we were both just quiet, looking at each other. 

Then he pointed at the candle again. “Ffff-sssshh.”

“No,” I said. “Candle. Fire.”

The mer’s eyebrows furrowed and he shook his head, echoing what I did earlier. His hair slapped around. His teeth look like shark’s teeth up close, only there’s a lot less of them. “Nnnn-nnnuh,” He tried, shaking his head again.” Nnn-uh. Ffff-sssshhh.” Then he pointed at his mouth, opening wide, showing me the tongue behind his teeth. “Fffff-sssshhh. Ffff-ssshhh.”

I laughed, covering my mouth - he seems to be scared when we show too much teeth, probably in the ocean it’s a threat and they don’t smile like we do. Which, why would they? 

But, see, I realized that he wasn’t pointing at the candle at all, but at the fish painted on it. Then he moved to look at the bucket of fish he gets as a reward for obedience, and pointed at that, then looked back at me to see if I was paying attention.

Of course I was. I was barely fucking breathing. This is signs of abstract thought process, recognizing that the image of a thing isn’t the thing itself. That he can point at it to represent what he wants. “You want fish? Is that it? You’re hungry? Want to eat some fish?”

The mer blinked and made a sound like a chirp, clapped his hands together. “Rrrrr. Fff-sssshhh.” He pointed at his mouth again. “Ffff-ssshhh. Buh-rrrrmm. Ffffsshh.”

“What did you say?” I whispered. My heart went cold. I can’t describe it any other way.

“Buh-rrrrmmmm. Ffff-sssshh, Buh-rrrmm.”

The bloody thing knows my fucking name. 

He knows we have names and he knows mine and that means-... that means he has one, doesn’t it? If he has a name, if he has

I’m his fucking nightmare aren’t I 

I’m the worst fucking thing that could happen to him, me and Miah and Dr. L and Anders and this is a job but it’s the worst thing that’s happened to him and it’s only

It’s going to get worse for him.

He’s going to die here and he’ll know all our names when he does.

Anyway, so... you know... I brought him a bucket of fish.

What else was I supposed to do? 

He knows my name!

He let me put the muzzle on him again without fighting after he finished, and I got him back in the tank once the water was refreshed, and he’s sleeping off his meal now. I can see him on the feed, curled up inside the cave.

But I’m wide awake, so I thought I’d write this, because…

Because what the hell do I do now?

I can’t tell Miah.

Can I?

 ---

@astrobly @burtlederp @finder-of-rings @slaintetowhump @moose-teeth @misspelledwitch @whumpfigure @whumptywhumpdump @boxboysandotherwhump @whumpywhumper

[deberiaestarescribiendo]

Of Bad Beer and Summer Nights. #Writer Wednesday 04/28/21 Javier Peña x f!reader

Summary: it’s just another summer day at the pool. Sunbathing before your shift starts, the day changes drastically when you cannot take your eyes off a handsome stranger.

Warning: mention of alcohol and swearing. NSFW +18 SMUT (oral and p in v sex)

Paring: Javier Peña x F! reader

A/N: Another take on the #Writer Wednesday challenge by @autumnleaves1991-blog !!

Not me basing all this on the label of the beer that’s shown on the cans and my obsession with Javier Peña and his ridiculous fashion choices. This is the first thing I write with a little spice on it and I’m still not that comfortable but we’re getting there. Not beta’d and my eyes are burning so I have read it just once so if they’re any mistakes, misspellings and bad grammar I’m really sorry.

Of bad beer and summer nights

The kids’ screams from the pool muffles the tunes of some old ranchera blasting from the bar’s stereo. The old guard of retire men gather around the plastic white tables drinking cold beer and playing dominoes and you lower your book, sunbathing under this blazing sun, and smile; this is your childhood, your home and even that you had convinced yourself that you were done with this, that you wanted to run away, this speaks to your nostalgia and the fondest memories you own.

The heat makes you lazy and your stretch your body feeling your bones as if they were made of jelly. You drop the book on your stomach; you were not actually paying too much attention to it anyway and look around the pool: kids running around with water guns, angry mothers trying to control them and the men on the bar. Usually they’re around 70 or plus on average, they occupy their usual spot under the parasols early in the morning and spend their time doing their retirement routine: newspaper, same old conversation and complain about the world, beer and dominoes, until it’s time to eat or to switch their drink to coffee. But today a tall, lean, brown haired man is breaking the age median. He’s younger and stands out not only for his strong physic but because he wears a bright pink shirt and some yellow aviators and the tightest jeans you’ve seen on a man. You’re sure you’d question anybody else’s fashion choice if they were wearing that, but surprisingly, it fits him, probably because he exudes confidence, maybe it’s his broad shoulders, maybe it’s his golden skin revealed by the way–too-much-unbuttoned shirt he wears, maybe it’s his dark hair or his striking features or maybe it’s because of his dark coffee brown eyes that are fixed on you. His eyes. Shit.

You were so absorbed looking at him that you didn’t realize he had taken off his glasses and it’s now seated facing the pool and you from the bar. He smirks when you try, ungracefully, to grab your book back, the paper is stuck to your skin since you had spread it generously with tanning oil. The pages are ruined but you actually don’t care, you just open it before your eyes and try to conceal that you were looking at him like a creep. After a few minutes, you raise the novel just enough to see if he's looking but he's gone. Disappointed, you turn to the other side and let the sun bronze your skin and achieve that serene state that you had before he arrived at the pool.

"Hey, you, burnt sloth, it's time" somebody pokes on your shoulder

"Burnt sloth, seriously?" You say, you feel your mouth is dry and your brain is slowly coming back to life "it's my shift already?"

"Yep, actually you're two minutes late" Marisa grabs the elastic of your bikini bottom and pulls it and lets it go until it slaps your skin

"Ouch! I'm coming" you finally get up

"C'mon, Mr. Garcia has joined the party at the bar, and you'll be late for his speech on the loss of traditional family values" she announces. You glance at the other side of the pool, the old man walks with difficulty towards his retired friends table

"Shit, you do it on purpose" you say and Marisa smirks "my shift always starts when there's one of the annoying customers time to arrive, that's not fair"

"Is there anybody attending the bar?!" You both turn to see Mr. Garcia raising his cane and screaming at you

"I'm coming" you answer, grabbing your jean shorts and the white shirt with staffwritten on it. You toss your clothes on over your bikini and run towards the bar.

"Sorry, Mr. Garcia, the usual?" You ask while tying up your apron

"Yes, please. This is what's wrong with this country now the youth has lost the will to work hard to really make an effort…"

Even his friends roll their eyes, but you know it will be a minute until he finishes the list of bad things he wants to rant about.

Marisa has occupied your deck chair and winks at you while she spreads her sun cream. Bitch you mutter towards her and she smiles and lays back.

The rest of your shift consists in ignoring Mr. Garcia and looking at Marisa with jealousy. When the sun is almost gone she joins you on the counter.

"I'll have until Jack comes to pick me up, I thought you needed some company" she says bending herself over the bar to grab a glass

"Yeah, now that they're about to leave, how convenient" you point to the old men table "what do you want?"

"Beer please"

You take two ice cold cans and serve hers on her glass while you keep yours under the wood counter

“Tomorrow you will take my shift by the way" you say leaning on the fridge

"Nope" she says having a sip of her drink

"You wanna bet?" You counter knowing that she likes to play. She thinks about it for a second but when you open the cards box and leave the deck in front of her she nods

"Just for tomorrow though" Marisa shakes your hand and you distribute the cards between you two.

You try to focus on the game, she's better than you and you really don't want to take another shift like this. But all your concentration leaves your body once you see out of the corner of your eyes, a pink bright shirt and a tall figure.

"Hi, are you ready Pops?" He says, his voice is deep while he gently taps on one of the old men at the table

"No, give me a minute, I'm actually winning for once" he says laying one of the domino pieces on the table

"Right" he smiles warmly at him and you think he couldn't be more handsome but he actually approach the counter and now, looking at him closer he’s even more attractive

“Can I have a beer please?” he asks taking a seat on a stool. You nod and grab one from the fridge.

He examines the golden can with an arched eyebrow “Don’t you have a bud?”

“No, we only have calidad (quality) and let me warn you that the title is actually ironic” you answer, for a second you hope he doesn’t actually get mad at your little joke but he smiles widely “I trust you then, I won’t take my chances with this so... can I have a whiskey then?” he pass you the can and you turn to put it back on the fridge and glance over the bottles you have. All of them are the cheapest labels on the market, but you know your boss reserves some good old Jack Daniels well hidden and you crouch down to get it from the back of the utilities cupboard.

“I don’t know if I want that drink either if you took it from where you keep the cleaning stuff” he laughs

“Don’t worry, it’s legit, it’s my boss’s. He doesn’t want to expend one cent on the clients but for himself...that’s another thing” you pour him the amber liquor and you cannot help but notice that he’s looking at you intently

“You don’t serve whiskey often, right?” he gets closer and almost whispers it in your ear

“Why?” you ask and raise your head suddenly realizing that you’re really close. His scent is intoxicating, some fresh body wash and the musk of his cologne mixed with the whiskey you’re serving him

“Normally you will serve just two or three fingers” he explains putting two of his fingers on the glass so you can see what he means, the glass is half full.

“Shit” you stop pouring and leave the bottle on the counter while he chuckles

“Either that or you’re really generous or I’m and excellent costumer” he jests

“You are!” you respond right away and you clear your throat once you realize how stupid it sounded “or I’m a terrible waitress, I think that’s more probable”

“Agreed!” Marisa claims, you actually forgot about her

“I don’t think so” he shakes his head “You were really honest about the quality of the beer, you could have just gave me that trash and say nothing”

“Well, I’m drinking one while working, I keep it hidden under the counter and I’m gambling with my friend to see if I can change my shift for hers tomorrow” you confess, he looks amused at you

“What shift is that?” he asks

“Morning, there’s none” Marisa answers

“You actually cannot take that shift” he looks at you now

“Why?” you say puzzled

“Because you’re busy tonight, probably will arrive late and you should sleep” he sips his whiskey and you still observe him not understanding

“I’m not...”

Marisa smack her lips “she’s clueless”

“I see” he smiles again, that damn smile “at what time do you close?”

“She’ll be off at seven” Marisa answers and you turn your head from one to the other like you’re watching a tennis game you don’t really understand

“What are you...”

“He’s asking you out, dummie” Marisa rolls her eyes at you with a frustrated grunt

“Oh!”

“If it’s alright for you unless you really want that early morning shift” he looks at you from under his lashes and you don’t know how a man like that can be smoldering hot one minute and this cute the next

“She’s going!” Marisa answers before you could make your mind

“Wait, I have nothing to wear and I have to...”

“There’s a dress on my locker, the code is 6754 and I don’t trade my shift anyway, you don’t have excuses” a car horns from the door “That’s Jack, don’t take no for an answer!” she points to the man running towards her boyfriend’s car.

“There’s no pressure, if you don’t want to...”

“No, I want to, really” you say focusing on the stains on your apron

“I’m Javi by the way” he smiles fondly and raises his hand, you respond with your name and shake it

“Really nice to meet you” you say softly

“Let’s go, son, this damned dominoes are jinxed!” his father walks out from the table gathering a few laughs and jokes from his friends

Javi reaches from his wallet when Mr. Garcia raises his cane again “Don’t let him pay, anything he had it’s on me”

You look at him confused and Javier, for the first time in your brief acquaintance looks shy and actually uncomfortable. He thanks the man and walks to his father about to leave the place

“I’ll pick you up at seven” he says, winking at you

“Can we have the check young lady or do we have to do it ourselves” Mr. Garcia gets you out of your daydreaming and you rush to clean up and say goodbye to the old loyal customers before they leave you alone to close.

You don’t actually have time to do much, just shower and look inside Marisa’s locker hoping for the best. You find a white summer dress and some flat sandals that fit you, you try your best with your hair and the little make up you have in your bag. And you wait for Javi to arrive.

He’s punctual, arriving just on time on his pick up car.

“Hi”

“Hi” he has changed for another bright shirt, this time blue that matches his skin perfectly. He wears those yellow sunglasses and the same tight jeans and you cannot believe that you actually think it’s the most gorgeous a man has look ever. You staring more that you should again, how the muscles on his forearm tense and relax while driving

“We’re going outside Laredo, if you don’t mind” he says eventually

“It’s fine by me, unless you’re planning to kill me and leave me in the middle of nowhere” you shot

“No, I’m not planning to do that” he chuckles

He takes you to one of those big restaurants outside the city with live music and the best BBQ you’ve ever tasted. The conversation flows nicely even if you have to slap yourself sometimes because you continue to stare in a very obvious way.

“So, why did Mr. Garcia pay for your drink?” you ask after while “He never does one kind thing for nobody, are you a celebrity or something?” you joke

“You actually don’t know?” he drinks from his beer and he has a curious look on him

“No, are you famous?”

He makes a gesture with his hand “Mmm more or less”

“I go every weekend to the movies so it’s certainly not movies” you guess and you place your hand on your chin “Singing? Do you sing rancheras? it’s the only thing he likes so... c’mon sing!”

“You don’t want to hear that”

“Okay, so it’s not singing” you bite your lip trying to come up with something “are you one of those dude’s that do that thing with the lasso” and you mimic the gesture

“A professional cowboy?” he laughs out loud “No, nothing really artistic about my fame”

“Okay” you reflect on what he said and after a few minutes you slap the table “I got it! You’re actually a very famous mobster and Mr. Garcia owes you money, always thought he had some shady business going on”

“Do I look like a mobster?” he laughs

“No! I don’t mean it like that”

“But you thought about it”

“It’s just...” you stutter

“What?”

“You exude confidence, you look cocky and very sure of yourself kinda like you own the place when you walk in and people do what you say” you explain blushing “dangerous and sexy” the beer is kicking in harder than you thought and you lean on his shoulder “like you can kill somebody” his amused expression fades and a dark and timid veil covers his face

“Oh shit” you answer “ H-have you?” you murmur, he nods softly and averts his eyes

“Well, if you’re not in jail I guess you are...law enforcement? army?”

“DEA” he responds with a deep breath

“How...how does a DEA agent become famous?”

“I was part of the team that hunted Pablo Escobar” he answers, his arms are crossed on the table and he’s looking down

“Are you kidding?” you gasp “Did you meet him? Are you the one that shot him?”

“I was not even there when it happened and never actually met him”

You can see his eyes glowing and how tense he looks now, all confidence and bravado is gone and he finishes his beer leaving your date in an uncomfortable point

“I’m sorry I brought that up” you brush your hand over his, yours looking small against his “I was joking, I’m obviously clueless about dates and have a big mouth, I’m sorry again”

“No, no” he holds your hand between his warm palms “I really thought you’d heard, that’s why I wanted to take you out from Laredo where everybody brings that up”

You hold your head on your hands “I’m an idiot, I’m sorry”

“Hey, hey!” he takes your hands and brushes his fingers on your chin until you look at him in the eye “It’s not your fault, let’s move on, okay?” his thumb is closer now to your lower lip and you see his eyes lowering until he’s looking at your mouth for a second before he points to the dance floor “Do you dance?”

“Not well”

“Me neither”

“Do we give it a go and make a fool of ourselves?” he asks holding your hand and you nod enthusiastically

The people on the dance floor judge you when you actually don’t know the moves that goes with this type of music, but you’re laughing like little kids and you see how he tries to hold you every time he gets the chance, his big hands on your waist, and arm on your lower back that burns like the sun and when finally they change to a slow song, he presses you against his chest and you moan softly when he locks you there with his hands on your back. You reach for his neck and tangle your fingers on his nape.

“I have a confession to make, agent” you whisper on his ear

“Hm?”

“I was looking at you at the pool and hoped that you came back when you left and actually ruined my novel in the process”

“And I was looking back at you and came back to pick up my father when he actually didn’t need it” he responds, his warm breath over your temple, you smile openly and you think your heart could leave your chest in that very moment

“and another thing...”

“Yes?”

“I never actually liked guys with mustache and now all I can think about is how does it feel when you kiss” you hide your face from him feeling his laughter resonate on his chest

“Wanna try?”

You raise your head even though your cheeks burn and your rational brain in screaming that you barely know the guy but then his lips brush over your softly and they’re as soft as they looked, you let him lead you mainly because the sensation is overwhelming and when he gently touches your mouth with his tongue you let him in, you let him taste you and you moan, Javi smiles briefly over your soft expression of pleasure and becomes more eager, hardening the kiss. You don’t know how long you’ve been there but when you break the kiss your head is spinning and you have to hold onto his shoulders

“So?” he says with a cocky smile

“Nice, really nice”

You don’t want this night to end, you park alongside the riverbank in Laredo, he has put down a big blanket on his pickup truck so you’re comfortable seating on it and Javier bought some cold beer at the gas station. The summer night is clear; the moon and stars shine and are reflected on the black waters of the river and you can only hear the soft sounds of the insects and the breeze moving the grass.

“Can I ask you something?” you’re both seated next to each other, swinging your legs until you touch him

“Yes”

“Why did you choose the DEA?”

“I just wanted to get away from here” he shrugs

“You caused too much trouble? Broke too many hearts?” you jest tapping his arm with your elbow

“Why do you say that?” he turns to face you

“You look like someone who could do that” you murmur “Are you going to break my heart?” Now you adjust your position so now you’re both face to face

“I hope not”

You think over his answer, it’s actually pretty honest. You had had promises of eternal love and “never ever going to hurt you” before and then they left you with your heart bleeding and your confidence undermined. So you prefer this, the truth. Neither of you know what’s going to happen, there’s only tonight and that you don’t want to get back to real world. The river, the moon and the two of you on his car are the only thing real, they only thing that exists right now.

You arise on your knees and save the distance between you holding his head on your hand. It’s you who lead the kiss this time and he lets you savor him. He holds your hips and gently pushes you on his lap. You lower your kisses to his jaw and then his neck tasting his perfume mixed with his sweat that it’s the only thing you’ve been thinking about doing since this morning, he emits a guttural moan and you feel your arousal between your thighs. Your hands act faster that you can think and unbuttons his shirt. In the moonlight his skin is soft and it’s splattered in small freckles that you kiss trying to count each one with a touch of your lips.

He doesn’t stay still for much longer and raises your summer dress kneading the skin of your legs, up to your butt and your hips. He separates you from him and you’re about to complain when you feel he’s pushing you softly to the blanket. You lay down taking a deep breath while your gaze at the night sky full of tiny bright dots that reminds you of his skin and how you crave to have him on your lips again.

You raise your head once you feel him touching your calf, his fingers softly trailing over you until he take off your sandals, and when it’s done, he grabs your legs and roam his hands up and down on them until he pulls your legs apart. Javier gets in the space between your legs and without breaking his burning look at your eyes, he takes off his shirt and unbuckles his belt.

“Please” you whisper and reach your hand towards him; he takes it and kisses your palm before bending over you. The hunger you have for his lips is finally over when he kisses you again deep and moaning against your lips.

He mimics what you did earlier and bites your jaw and your neck, scattering kisses over your clavicles. He gets up an instant just to take off your dress and admires you for a second before continuing his kisses where he had left them. You bend your back when your breasts are exposed to the fresh summer air but are immediately cover by his big warm hands and then his mouth graze each one with the most delicious attention kissing and licking your nipples until biting your lip can’t contain your whimpers

“You don’t have to be quite, there’s none” he says liberating your lower lip from your bite with his thumb “Your moans will be only for my ears and I want to listen to every single one of them” he says and leaves a kiss on your sternum before grabbing your waist pressing his face on your stomach and again repeats the action of spattering kisses and soft bites to your skin.

Once he reaches the elastic of your panties he looks at you intently. You’re a moaning mess, squirming under his touch and feeling your flesh ablaze even if the night is actually quite fresh

“Please” you whisper again and he softly raises your hips rolling the lace over your thighs. The midnight air makes you shiver. He kisses again your belly over the tan marks biting gently your hip bones before parting your legs widely.

He softly tortures you avoiding your core. His mouth licking and brushing his teeth on each thigh deeper and deeper and before arriving to the center he changes his position to the other leg

“Javi” you moan

“You’re so beautiful” he murmurs, lying on his side he leans his head on your inner right thigh. He’s as gentle as first as he was before leaving tempting kisses on your mount and folds before opening your lips to drink of you eagerly. His moans resonate through your body as an electric current and your nails scratch the blanket bellow. You call his name like a prayer, the pleasure is uncontrollable while you hope for release, he slides his fingers inside you and pumps them upwards and then you are lost in his presence and in the night above you. You hear yourself scream, your conscience is far away.

He hushes you and holds you in his arm and you waste no time in kissing him again, a deep hard kisses in which you pour all your passion and your lust. Your hands act on their own and you reach for his jeans and force them down enough until your palming his cock.

Javi understand your needs and takes down his jeans and underwear rapidly coming back to the position between your thighs. Your eyes are locked on his body admiring how he touches himself and you raise your upper body to caress his chest

“Please Javi I need you”

“Lay down” he orders, his voice is lower now and you quiver “Impatient girl” he smirks

You obey and Javier grabs your hips and he adjusts himself towards your entrance. You open your mouth once he penetrates you but there’s no sound coming out of your lips. He mutters praises for you and bends over to kiss you again. Your tongues intertwine as he’s deep inside of you, burying himself inside and getting out again and again until you’re panting looking for that ecstatic pleasure.

You cover his moans with a deep kiss once he reaches his orgasm and you hold him there. Breathing the scent of the surroundings, your sweat and his combined, you stay there until you’re calm, relaxed, and exhausted in the sweetest way.

“Thank you for not letting me change my shift” you say after a few minutes

[picnokinesis]

your profile on ao3 mentions you like Pacific Rim have you ever considered a series 12 cast (so 13 + fam + master) pacrim au? bc weirdly enough i feel like spydoc would actually be drift compatible

OH MY DAYS ok I had to write this out on a note on my phone because I have so many thoughts, pacrim aus come like BREATHING to me, but consider:

Koschei Oakdown (he/him), teenage heir of some kind of rich and powerful business man who moved his family inland when the Kaiju attacks began. His father is essentially grooming Koschei to be his successor, but Koschei has zero interest - all he wants is to go back to the coastal city of Vancouver where he grew up, so he can stay with his best friend Theta Lungbarrow (they/them) and study things he's actually interested, like xenobiology, since he's certain that the only way to defeat the kaiju is to understand them. It only takes a few weeks for him to get sick of the whole thing and run away, heading back to Vancouver - but the day he arrives, the kaiju Karloff attacks. He survives, and finds Theta, who also survived - but their parents were not so lucky. Koschei's parents believe that he's dead, and Koschei has no intention of correcting them on that, and so him and Theta end up in the care of the state, and he begins to start studying xenobiolology. Theta, on the other hand, has become somewhat obsessed with the idea of jaegers, after watching Brawler Yuhkon fight against Karloff - the first jaeger to ever fight a kaiju - and win. They want to build jaegers and be a pilot, and even Koschei won't deny that there's no way the two of them aren't drift compatible.

Fast forward a few years - Theta and Koschei are two young but brilliant scientists working for the PPDC, Theta in J-Tech and Koschei in K-Science. Theta is working on a new technological approach to building jaegers and also messing with the Drift interface, to see if the synchronisation between pilots can be increased, whilst Koschei is looking for weaknesses in the kaiju's biology. However, they're both entirely invested in each other's research and tend to argue quite intensely in order to brainstorm and have breakthroughs - much to the despair of everyone in the j-tech and k-science departments. But one thing Theta wants more than anything is to pilot a jaeger - even though on paper they have no chance, having not been to Jaeger academy or anything. But Caitlin Lightcap (the pilot of Brawler Yuhkon and inventor of the drift interface) also didn't go to jaeger academy. She just put herself in the position where they HAD to let her in a jaeger by completing the first drift with D'onofrio and saving his life. And so, because Theta entirely lacks self preservation, they persuade Koschei that it's a good idea to test out their new drift technology on themselves. Because the other issue is funding - no one wants to support an experimental rig or jaeger design until Theta can prove that it works. So they will.

And that's EXACTLY what they do, and they're extremely lucky it doesn't kill them but they get it to work and it's fantastic. The Drift is stronger than any before it. And so (after the pair of them get pulled out of an experimental rig and get into a LOT of trouble), they manage to persuade the PPDC to 1) let them build a new jaeger and 2) be the two who pilot it, since they've alread forged a drift bond in the new interface.

And so the jaeger Gallifrey Ember is born.

BUT THEN. They have several extremely successful deployments, until one fateful night where it all goes very wrong. I'm not sure exactly what happens because this is all off the top of my head this morning and I'm currently walking to work HAHA but I'm gonna say that maybe Koschei thought there was some xenobiology knowledge that they could use to fight against this specific kaiju (which is something he's done before and it's partly why their missions are so successful) but as he goes to dig for it, he accidentally pulls up the memory of the Karloff attack, and ends up chasing the rabbit. Only, because the new interface has their minds so intertwined, it knocks the pair of them out of alignment even worse than it would have otherwise (especially since their trauma memories are from the same event) and their drift just goes completely. As you can imagine, it all goes very badly a la Gispy Danger vs Knifehead, only the city they're trying to protect gets hit pretty bad and there are a LOT of casulaties - more than ever since the jaeger programme started deploying. I think in the end it's Theta who, mostly bearing the neural load alone, has to do something drastic to stop the kaiju - maybe killing it in a way that spills Kaiju Blue everywhere and just poisons the land/water. Anyway after that Theta is EXTREMELY ANGRY at Koschei, and he's mad at HER for being mad at him because sorry for having trauma memories and accidentally triggering them?? But she's like I KNOW I also have those memories and you left me to basically pilot alone??? But anyway it's all a mess, Gallifrey Ember is basically destroyed and the pair of them are injured, traumatised, and unreconcilable, and so they decide that they're never drifting again and basically go separate ways. No one ever uses Theta's drift or jaeger tech again because it's considered too dangerous or volatile.

FAST FORWARD SEVERAL YEARS AGAIN. Enter Ryan Sinclair - young j-tech engineer who looks at the original Gallifrey Ember specs and is like "hey, no, this WORKED but it's just it went wrong one time and now no one will touch it, but maybe I can fix this old beat up jaeger and make it work again?". And so he rebuilds the jaeger - and names it Gallifrey Inferno instead. But, of course, no one wants to pilot it because of it's history, and also it really needs two pilots who are used to this sort of interface, rather than trying to train two new pilots (also, what new pilots?? The funding for the jaeger programme is getting cut by the day, and the jaeger pilot academies are all getting shut down). So, in short - they need Theta and Koschei back.

Yaz and Graham are there too - Yaz was in jaeger academy, but then the funding got pulled so her cohort got dropped, and now she's a security guard for the Shatterdome, but she still desperately wants to be at the heart of the action and actually making a difference. Graham is one of the guys who drives the carts across the Shatterdome deployment floor HAHA but he's great, he talks to EVERYONE in the Shatterdome and knows exactly what's going on underneath all the bureaucracy. He's also Ryan's granddad - they're somewhat at odds, but they're also both still grieving over the death of Grace, Ryan's nan, who died during a kaiju attack.

And then I have no idea - the three of them team up to drag Koschei and Theta back? Although to be honest I bet if Theta found out they were rebuilding their jaeger, they would be breaking into the Shatterdome IMMEDIATELY, so maybe Yaz catches them sneaking in hahaha. But obviously, even when Theta and Koschei are back together they are very reluctant to drift. I imagine that they both also have a lot of problems with ghost drifitng and stuff because their drift was so strong. And then...I want there to be s12 parallels, but I'm not quite sure what happens but I feel like Theta ended up being made to work on some weird slightly unethical drift project by the people who control the funding of the PPDC because they want to know more of the impact of the drift on the human brain, especially such a strong drift (I'm thinking like...ok so in one of my favourite pacrim fanfics, Newt gets forced to work in a drift project after his kaiju drift, but he keeps the fact that Hermann also drifted secret to protect him - but it ends up being pretty rough for Newt) but then obviously they're forced to keep the whole thing secret so they don't even tell Koschei. But eventually when the pair of them drift again, Koschei finds out (which then is the equivalent of him finding stuff in the Matrix). But he doesn't find out everything because it's all a mess and maybe the drift is off kilter because of it? Not sure. But yeah! This is all extremely rough so...y'know. Could probably develop it further. My only other thought is that the other jaeger pilots are alternate versions of thoschei or doctor-companion team ups.

[g0ldengubler]

chapter 3~a night on the town

(*i do not own this gif*)

A/N: hi everyone! this song is what I thought would be playing in a certain part of the story. I'll put a * at the part. yes, it's minecraft but i could care less bc it’s very calming and dreamy. i also quickly want to say thank you so much for the love on nauseous like it truly means a lot and it’s what’s keeping me going :’) if anyone could give a lesson in tumblr fanfic writing tho that would be great bc i feel like such a grandma xD thank you again for reading and enjoyyy :)

Category: fluff

CW: smoking weed (i don’t encourage this but please smoke responsibly if u ever do!)

Word Count: 1545

before you read | last chapter | next chapter

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You're suddenly in a beautiful part of the park. You didn't see this on your little mini tour, but it was magical. Spencer took you over to a giant tree on a small hill off the pond. The light from the moon made the water twinkle as the two of you sat under the tree. You felt like you were in a fairytale, and this was like a forest filled with fairy magic. It had rained a bit sometime in the late afternoon, so the ground beneath you and the leaves on the trees sparkled with dew drops. The sight of it all filled you with wonder. The night hadn't even really started yet and already you wished the sun never came up again. This couldn't end.

Spencer sat against the tree as he rummages through his bag to find his pen. "I'm speechless," You said as you sat down diagonal of him, "This place is breathtaking."

"I tend to come by here to read when I can't sleep or during the day having trouble on a case," said Spencer, "I found this spot around the time I first joined the BAU. It keeps me grounded."

You grab your pen out of your bag and hold it in your hands, waiting for Spencer. He finally finds his in the bottom of his bag and takes it out. You click your pens on and Spencer froze, not knowing what to do.

"Do we...cheers?" He asks, "Like we do when we drink?"

"Not usually, no," you chuckled, "But if you want to we can."

"You sound like you've done this before, Y/N."

"Meh, I experimented a bit in high school and college. But I never did it everyday like my classmates. Just here and there if I was really stressed."

Spencer brings his pen close to yours. "Well, cheers!" He says awkwardly.

"Cheers!" You giggle.

You both take three or four hits. On the last hit, Spencer started coughing. "Did you accidentally take a really big hit?" You ask.

"I think-" He coughs again, "-so!"

After his little coughing attack, you both laugh. You shift your weight onto your elbows. Legs straight out, you let the high take over your body. Spencer puts his head against the tree. He takes a couple more hits and let's it hit him. You start to feel the tingles again through your body and your eyes getting heavy.

"I wonder what the percentage of these carts are," you said, "I should ask Garcia."

"It must be a lot if I already feel like I smoked a whole blunt by myself."

"Well I was gonna that it's just because you're a beginner so you'll be a lightweight, but now you sound like you've done this before, Doctor."

"I swear I just know my research! I've never smoked before last night."

"Mmhmm, surrrre," you said as you started to get up from the ground, using the tree as support, "I'm sure it was just for that paper."

You grab your bag and rub the grass and dirt that was on your pants. You give a hand to Spencer as he gets up and you start heading outside of the park. You both stood there, looking around. "So, is there anywhere you'd like to revisit?"

You think for a moment. "How about the Lincoln Memorial?"

"Perfect!"

He lends his arm out and you link yours with his as you walk to the Lincoln Memorial. There was a nice cool breeze as you walked under the city lights, your blurry vision making it feel like you were in a movie. You looked up at Spencer and saw that his eyelids were a little bit lower than usual. You felt panic hit you as you unlock your phone and open snapchat. Turning the flash on, you look at the top of your phone and took a photo. You looked at your eyes and noticed they were a bit pink, but nothing to worry about.

"You ok?" asked Spencer.

"Yeah, I'm fine. My eyes get red easily when I'm high so I'm just checking."

"My dear, you look quite marvelous if I do say so myself!" He says, using a british accent, which made you laugh.

Finally, you made it to the memorial. You debated on climbing all those steps to the top, but Spencer made a bet that he could beat you to the top, and you weren't going to back out of a challenge. You both speed up the steps but Spencer beats you.

"Who's the pussy now, huh?" Spencer teases from what you said the night before, out of breath.

You put your hands on your knees, trying to catch yours. "Very funny, Doctor."

Once your breathing went back to normal, you slowly walked closer to the statue, admiring it. "You know," you began, "While my love for crime fighting was my whole life, I had a small interest in President Lincoln. I have no clue why, but I've been reading books about him since I was 4."

You paused for a moment, then turned around to face Spencer. "I have a fact for you, Doctor," you began, but then Spencer cut you off.

"You know you can call me Spencer or Spence, right? Come to think of it, you're the only one who calls me Spence."

"Ok, well Spence,"  you restated, "Have you heard of the theory that he might've been a closeted gay or bisexual man?"

"No actually, I haven't heard much on it only that it was debunked."

"That is true, but if it wasn't debunked I'd see him more as a closeted bisexual man, not gay."

"Why do you say that?" asked Spencer.

"Because people always forget about it. Bisexuality is real. He truly loved Mary with all his heart and would do anything for her, but I'm sure he questioned his sexuality at some point and just never went deeper into it."

You paused again, seeing if he was paying attention. You then turn back to face Lincoln and continued, "Take Freddie Mercury, for example. Now when he came out to his Mary, he came out as bisexual. But the public just took it as that he was gay because bisexuality wasn't seen by the public as a real sexuality, even Mary. It makes me angry at how long biphobia went on for. As someone who is bisexual, I don't want to feel like a ghost. I want to feel real."

Spencer slowly walks up behind you and puts a hand on your shoulder. He turns you around and you look up at him with glassy, pink-colored eyes. "Y/N, you are real. Everything about you is to me."

You put your hand on top of his, not breaking the look into each other's eyes. Or well, what you could see through his eyelids.

*The two of you then headed down the steps carefully and continue on your tour. But it slowly ended as you ended up walking down the empty streets. At one point, you ended up on cobble road. The two of you were pretty baked, as you would take more hits whenever no one was looking or there weren't too many people walking or driving. Spencer began to act like he was on a tight rope as he walked along parking blocks. He held your hand for support, trying not to fall and twist his ankle.

*You felt content. You never really experienced something like this before, but you always dreamt about it. You never really went out much when you were in school. You focused all your time in your room, working  on schoolwork and keeping up with what Rossi was doing in the BAU and the cases they were working on.  Rossi was like an idol to you. Ever since you met him, you wanted to do what he was doing; Saving people and getting the bad guys, protecting citizens. But you always dreamt of having an adventure like this with a true friend, and even though you had only known Spencer for a week now, he already was like that true friend.

*But you were also feeling something more. There was something about Spencer holding your hand that just felt...right. It was so hard to explain, even to yourself as you tried to figure out what you were feeling exactly. Maybe it was just the high you were feeling, but looking at his face, Spencer seemed to be quite cute. So cute, that you felt butterflies.

*He jumps off a parking block under a tall street lamp and grabs your other hand in his. He looks down to you as you look up. Finally, his lips lock with yours and you don't stop him. You kiss him back as your arms wrapped around each other, feeling every inch of each other's bodies.

Spencer breaks the kiss and cups your face in his hands. "Do you want to continue our little fun we had the other night?" he asked, almost in a raspy tone.

You nodded and kissed him again.

[nsheetee]

mocha | jeno

pairing: basketball player!jeno x barista!reader genre: coffee shop au | fluff, slight angst summary: you tutor star basketball player jeno when you realize he’s spending late nights studying in the cafe you work at.

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this is a part of the moonlight cafe series — please read the preface before continuing reading

he walks as if he’s in a hurry, not minding the jingling bell on the door above him and sits down at a booth in the corner of the cafe

he has a baseball cap on, and a hoodie over that; you can’t recognize who he is at all

waiting a few moments, you glance over at his table again

he has several textbooks and his laptop out, promptly putting his airpods in his ears and beginning his homework

you just write him off as any other student that comes in here at night, the only difference with him is that he doesn’t order a coffee with an unhealthy amount of espresso shots in it

you don’t mind him, but it is a bit worrying when he spends the whole night switching between laying his head down on the table and softly thumping it against the wood, and staring blankly between his laptop and textbook

when he leaves that night at 3am, you send a silent wish after him that whatever he was studying for goes in his favor 

but surprisingly, he shows up the next night as well

it’s saturday night, the evening rush ended a while ago, and the mysterious guy is once again sitting in his spot at the back corner of the cafe

he looks even more frazzled than the night before, yet he doesn’t order anything and continues to diligently work throughout the whole night

this goes on for weeks, and you begin to worry for this poor boy’s sleep schedule

but even more so, you’re curious about who he is, since he never orders anything and always has a hood or a hat on

one night, your curiosity is quenched

“who’s that?” taeil asks you; he’s normally not at the store this late, but forgot to complete taking inventory this morning and came back tonight to finish it up

he nods his head towards your mystery guy, who has slumped over his textbooks and looks to be peacefully sleeping on the table

“not sure. he always comes in and studies for almost the whole night, never orders anything, though.” you shrug at your boss and he frowns

“go give him a mocha, or something. on the house- he looks like he needs to wake up.” taeil turns back to his clipboard and you nod

carrying over a hot mocha to the intriguing character in the corner of the cafe, your heart thumps in suspense

you’ll finally be able to learn who the mystery man is, something you’ve been wondering since day one

you set the mocha down on the table carefully and sit across from him, shaking his arm to wake him up

the guy jerks out of his sleep, a flashcard sticking to his face as he looks around the cafe with lidded eyes

“sorry!” you grimace, holding out your hands in front of you “I didn’t mean to scare you, I just wanted to wake you up. my boss told me to give you this mocha on the house, and to make sure you’re okay.” the guy unsticks the flashcard from his face, and your mouth drops when you realize who the mystery man is

“lee jeno?” you ask, and his sleepy eyes widen when you recognize him

“...no? I think you have me mistaken for someone else...” he clears his throat, looking around the cafe to see if anyone has their attention turned to you two

you would believe him, if he isn’t the most well known face on campus

he’s not only the college’s basketball star who has his face plastered on every basketball-related event at the school and is dating the head cheerleader, but also the guy who sits a few rows in front of you in your calculus class

“I'm 90% sure you’re lee jeno.” you state, and he seems too tired to argue with you about his identity

“okay, yes, that’s me. can you please not tell anyone that I'm here.”

“tell what? that you, a college student, studies?” you tilt your head and cross your arms as you wait for his response

“yeah,” he becomes shy, playing with his airpods that fell out of his ears during his nap, “to be honest, I'm in a calculus class this semester and I don’t understand one bit of it. that’s why I'm here every weekend night.” he explains, not meeting your gaze yet

all of a sudden, it hits you-

he doesn’t know who you are

although your calculus class has almost 100 people in it, you would think he would’ve at least seen you walking past him every monday, wednesday, and friday to your seat behind him

but you’re not surprised that he’s struggling or that he hasn’t noticed you, since you always see him talking with his basketball friends instead of paying attention 

“I can tutor you.” you shrug, and he raises his eyebrows, finally making eye contact, “I work every weekend night, and I took that class last semester.”

you don’t feel guilty about lying

if jeno doesn’t recognize you, then maybe it should stay that way

what he doesn't know won’t hurt thim

“wouldn’t that keep you away from your job...” 

“it calms down after midnight around here, and I usually get bored during that time. what do you say?”

he agrees, and pretty soon you’re tutoring basketball star lee jeno

you thought that keeping your identity secret when you walk into class would be difficult, but jeno is always too busy fooling around with his friends before class starts that it’s easy to sneak past him

jeno comes in after midnight on weekends, you tutor him for about an hour (or until he understands the homework) and then he leaves to get some precious sleep 

jeno might be forever thankful for you

the way you explain things makes sense to him, much more sense than any office hours or ta hours that he has been to

it’s a win-win situation for you both: you can count these hours every night as “volunteer work” and jeno soon comes back to the cafe with his midterm exam, a solid B+ labeled across the top

“good job,” you chime when you see his grade from his phone

a text message notification pops up, and although you don’t read it, you definitely saw the word “party”

“maybe we can skip the study session tonight? you’ve been doing much better lately, and it’s friday night. I bet you want to get out and go to a party, or something.” you suggest, giving jeno a perfect excuse to leave you for the night and join his friends

“nah,” jeno shrugs as he takes back his phone, “I'd much rather hang out with you.”

your heart thuds at his words and you try your hardest to control your facial expression- to somehow bite back the heat threatening to rise to your cheeks

it’s been like this for the past few weeks, ever since you saw this new side to jeno

before tutoring him, he was only the basketball player who loudly fooled around with his friends before class and seemed like he didn’t care about anything else other than basketball

but since you started to get to know him, it’s safe to say you severely misjudged him

he’s probably the most boyish guy you’ve ever met, who cracks jokes that most would cringe at but have you clutching your stomach and wheezing with laughter 

the more time he spent around you, the more comfortable he became, and the more he could tell you his feelings

like how nervous he was for the exam or how scared he was for last week’s game

or how he’s determined to drink the mocha you make him every time he comes to the cafe, as an apology for all the nights he hogged a table and didn’t buy anything

he snuck into your heart, through the spaces between your ribs and planted himself there, unwilling to leave

but you know your feelings aren’t acceptable

he has a girlfriend, a very pretty and popular one that you’re almost sure he won’t leave for little old you

“seriously,” jeno notices your change in tone, “you can go out. you don’t have to stay here.”

“I'm being serious, too. let’s start on the next chapter, since you took this class last semester you’ll know how to do the equations for the next part, right?” jeno is already pulling out his textbook and his papers, determined to start working

your heart races, now for a different reason

although you’re good at calculus, you’re not that good to understand the next chapter yet

“uh...” you trail off, trying to find an excuse, “why do you even want to do math homework right now?” you ask, and jeno suddenly gets quiet

“it’s not really about math anymore, it’s about the person who’s teaching it to me...” he mumbles, but you hear him clearly

your heart is in your throat and your hands clam up from nerves

this is wrong

he has a girlfriend

his life is very different and separate from yours

this is so wrong

“we can’t.” you shake your head, and jeno’s nervous glances at you turns into a heartsick and longing look, “I- I actually haven’t taken this class. I'm taking it... right now.” you admit, the weight on your shoulders being lifted

“what?” he frowns

he doesn’t look good with a frown, his round glasses move with his face

he looks more like a confused puppy than the killer basketball player everyone knows and loves

“I'm in your class, jeno. I sit three rows behind you. I walk past you everyday to my seat.” you roll your eyes lightly

jeno just keeps getting more and more confused with every sentence

“how? how did I not notice you-”

“because you’re too busy messing around with your bros.” you roll your eyes harder this time, but when your gaze lands back on jeno, you immediately start to regret the forcefulness of your words

he looks hurt, and now angry

“so, you lied to me?” jeno looks as if the gears in his brain are running at full capacity, “what did you want from me then? some tickets to the game, maybe my phone number to sell online?” he spits out, embarrassment from you not returning his feelings fueling his harsh words

“do I look like I would do that? you know I'm not that kind of person.”

“forget it. maybe I will go to that party...” he trails off as he packs up his bag

“you act different with your friends than you do with me. you’re just trying to fit into a mold. I called you out on it and you’re mad about it.”

“no. I act different with you because I like you. liked.” he corrects himself, standing up out of the booth

your heart pinches with hurt at his words

there’s nothing like the bitterness of being so close to what you wanted, and then taking 10 steps back because you weren’t aware of how close you were to getting it

“you forgot your drink.” you say bitterly, intent on having the last word

he tucks his airpods into his ears and fixes his hood, “I hate mochas.”

the next night, the basketball team loses their first game of the season

it’s hard not to hear about it, considering the basketball team (and lee jeno) are the pride of the college

but a few more nights pass, and the team loses another game

and then they lose again, keeping them from going to regionals 

even taeyong and taeil talk about it, and you couldn’t look away when they showed you the viral video of jeno’s cheerleader girlfriend breaking up with him in the middle of the court after the last game

although you haven’t talked to him since the fight, you still felt sorry for him

you felt bad, and a bit guilty

jeno hasn’t shown up to calculus since the loss, and his seat is eventually taken by one of his ex-friends 

within a month, jeno turned from the campus’ golden boy to a nobody

and it didn’t matter to you

you haven’t physically seen him since the fight, making you worried about him

is he okay? physically and mentally? is he eating or sleeping? 

part of you hates that you still have feelings for him, and the other part doesn’t care 

you just want to know if he’s okay

and then one very early saturday morning, he walks into the cafe for the very first time since you fought 

the jingle of the bells above him comfort him, they chime a good luck to him as he steps up to the counter where you’re ducked down into the pastry display case 

“I'll be with you in one moment.” you say, tired dripping from your tone, and jeno realizes you’re in the last hour of your shift

“it’s no problem.” your rustling stops at the familiar voice, and your head pops up from behind the counter

lee jeno stands in front of you, his hoodie and baseball hat on, round glasses perched on his nose and his fringe tickling his eyes

“jeno.” you say, as if making sure it’s actually him and that he’s really here

“no, I think you might’ve mistaken me for someone else.” you and jeno both can’t help but let out a small laugh as you unexpectedly reenact the first time you met

“what are you doing here?” you ask, fully standing up and meeting him at the cash register

“well, I was hoping to get a mocha.” 

“I thought you hate mochas.” jeno stares at you and you stare back, unwilling to move until he says something first

jeno reaches out over the cash register, his strong but gentle fingers grazing over your forehead to fix some hair that was out of place due to your movements during restocking

you subconsciously lean into his touch, and jeno brings his hand down into yours, pulling you away from the cash register and sitting down in a chair at the counter

his hands hold yours over the counter, and the fact that you haven’t pulled away gives him hope that he’s not too late

“I grew to love them because of you. I've been craving them for the past month,” he laughs sourly, “but no one makes them the way you do.”

your heart trembles at his words, and it takes everything in you to not forgive him in an instant

“I'll make you one.” you say, untangling your hands from his and moving to the espresso machine 

jeno watches as you make his new favorite drink, and then place it before him as you sit down in a chair next to him

“I’m sorry.” is the first thing he says after you face him once again, “you were right. I was trying to fit into the mold of what the people around me wanted. the only time I could actually be myself is when I'm around you.” 

“I'm sorry, too. this isn’t all your fault, I shouldn’t have lied to you.” jeno scoots closer, tiredness tying you together and the moonlight from outside allowing you to enjoy the company of each other

“my calculus grade is low again. I might need your big brain to help me.”

“okay, but I'll need payment this time.”

“how much?”

“one kiss.”

“one kiss for every correct problem on the final exam?”

“deal.”

jeno smiles softly, his eyes scrunching as smile lines crease his face like tangled bedsheets in the early morning

he leans in, and you kiss with only the moonlight as a witness

jeno loves the way your mouth tastes like the bitter espresso that keeps him awake, but your lips are as sweet as the mocha that he has grown to love

[pregnant-piggy]

Courtyard secrets

James Potter x reader, Remus Lupin x reader

Words: 4.9k

Warnings: i’m sorry it’s a angsty one mixed with parents issues

A/N: I think I hurt my own feelings by writing this... I hope you like it xxx

Special thanks to @approved-by-dentists for helping me out when i was stuck.

not my GIF

- - - - - - -

The sky was dark, darker than the deepest blue of the bottom of the ocean. The only light came from the half full moon and the tiny speckles of bright light above your head.

At night everything seemed calmer. The whispers silenced and laughter quieted. If you listened you could hear the soft breeze of the wind and the sounds of the animals that lived in the dark nights. The bats that fluttered through the dark blue air and their squeals that echoed on the walls of the castle and the ever so light chirps of the grasshoppers that were hidden in the grass.

You sat on the cold stone ground of the courtyard and watched the night sky. The stars flickered and you traced the figures that they formed on the blue canvas. It seemed surreal that even so far away there was life, maybe not in the way you knew it, but the stars shone and that was a sign of life.

It also felt comfortable to know that there was a place outside. A place where your worries would disappear because they had no use. A place that existed of everything opposite of what you saw right now. Would you look at the stars the same from that place?

The hot tears streamed down your cheeks and there was no need to wipe them away. It had happened so many times, how could it be that it hurt you so bad?

But just like all fears and insecurities; you think you know them but they change and take new form, surprising you when they come back.

In moments like these you told yourself that it was okay to cry. No one was around, it was just you and the stars, the escapes to another world. There was no one that could feel your emotions and no one that would try to understand them.

But it was also in moments like these that you felt the most alone. In the cold air and the silence you were reminded of the thing you missed the most; love.

Where was the love when you needed it the most?

Surprisingly for you the answer came walking towards you, though not in the way you had expected it.

When you thought of love, you thought of undying support and unconditional care. You thought of the warmth that came with touches and sparkles that came with kisses. Love for you was what you had seen around you but never felt.

You had never known that love could take another form.

As James sat down next to you and wrapped his arm around your shoulder, you, for the first time in your life, felt affection in a stronger way than ever before. A warm feeling spread through your chest and your tears dried.

Maybe you didn't need love, maybe you just needed the support.

‘They sent another letter,’ you spoke, your voice hoarse from the pain that had been going through your body.

Your hand reached for the papers that lied next to you. You held them in front of you and watched the words that were smudged from your tears. The ink that held so much hate and the angry passion that it was written with.

James let you talk. He knew about the ongoing fight with your parents and the hatred that they had for you. You were open about it to your friends, much to the dislike of your parents. But that only made you share more with them. Not all. There were somethings that even you could not bring yourself to share with them.

‘I should act more like my brother. Oh, my perfect brother. Mother's favourite. Only fourteen years old and already top of his class! He's better than everyone else and I should take a better look at him.’ You snorted and James squeezed your shoulder. ‘I bet that's not even half of the truth. He only thinks he is better than everyone else.’

You stopped talking and stared at the ground. It had been that way your entire life. Your brother was always perfect in your parents' eyes. Everything he did was considered a blessing and every word he spoke was believed. All the blame was pushed to you, everything was always your fault. If your brother made a mean comment to you and that made you sad, your parents blamed you for ruining the mood. He acted like you were a small child, always pretending you didn't know what you were talking about. He acted like the big man in the house, though he was the youngest.

‘Have you spoken to him lately?’ James asked carefully.

You shook your head and a tear escaped your eye. Quickly you wiped it with your sleeve, the place where the water hit the fabric a stain forming.

Though your brother was three years below you, you rarely saw him. You were a Gryffindor, he a Slytherin. Whenever you saw him he ignored you or shot you an angry glare that spoke he thought he was better than you.

You waved the papers in front of you and watched the wind play with the edges. The meaning of the words faded with the wind. The dislike was wiped off them and what was left were pages of meaningless words that had nothing to do with you anymore. They were now just faded letters without a message.

James stayed next to you, sometimes saying something but quiet most of the time. It was nice, the silence was comforting. Sometimes you don't need words, whether they are reassuring or not, sometimes you just need a hand to hold and a shoulder to rest your head on.

And James' hand was there to hold and his shoulder was there to rest your head on. You closed your eyes and for a moment you thought back of what you thought love was.

Maybe this was love. Maybe this was what everyone was looking for in their life. But what you felt right now didn't feel like love to you. You weren't really sure what love felt like, but you thought that this wasn't it. There might be support and care here, but there wasn't affection other than what you had now; holding his hand and leaning on his shoulder. And neither of you craved for more affection than this. This was good. Right?

- -- -

That night was a secret shared between you and James. None of your friends knew about the way you had broken down next to James.

Neither you nor James had to ask the other to keep it a secret. It was an unspoken decision that had been made with just one look the next morning at breakfast when Sirius asked where James had been the previous night.

‘Some Hufflepuffs were annoying and I had a handful taking them back to the common room,’ James shrugged as he pricked his eggs with his fork.

You squeezed your eyes at your breakfast, thankful for James' secrecy. This morning, despite the awful feeling that had filled you last night, you had woken up with a smile. The burden that had fallen off your shoulders had been holding you back from being happy more than you had known. It was a delight to wake up and don't feel alone anymore. That thought of love had been in your head, but you had pushed it out quickly.

What you felt wasn't love. Not in a romantic way. You cared for James like he was your brother, or so you had always thought.

Marlene and Lily plopped down at the table next to you and Marlene stole your toast out of your hand.

‘Someone's in a happy mood,’ she chirped with her mouth full of toast.

‘You are never this happy,’ Lily chimed in and she watched you suspiciously.

You looked at your friends and smiled at them. ‘Can't I just be happy? Without a reason?’

‘Of course,’ Marlene said and she took another bite of your toast. ‘I like you more when you're happy.’

As you continued to eat breakfast you looked at James from the corner of your eye. He was talking happily with his friends but ever so often his gaze turned to your side of the table.

Something happened inside you when you caught him looking at you. But whatever that happy feeling was disappeared as snow in the sun when you realised that he was not looking at you but at Lily.

But that was fine, you really hoped that Lily would answer to his feelings one day. James had been after her for years and he deserved to be happy. With Lily.

- -- -

Remus watched you walk with Marlene and Lily out of the Great Hall. A sigh escaped as he turned back to his breakfast. He was glad you were happy, you hadn’t really been in a long time. Or at least, not in the morning.

Remus liked to see you happy. Or he just liked to see you, for that matter. You brought butterflies to Remus’ stomach and a smile to his face. His cheeks turned red whenever you talked to him and he stumbled over his words whenever he spoke back to you. He could look at you for the whole day and not get bored. Every time he looked at you he discovered something new he could love.

But as most loves, it was unrequited. The feelings Remus had for you, you had not for him. And yet, he kept throwing himself in that ring, fighting the unanswered feelings. It was a match that never ended. One time he was on top, the victory rushing through his veins, the next moment he was lying on the floor, his face pushed against the ground.

It exhausted him. Being in love with you was tiring, but there was nothing in the world Remus would rather do. The feeling that he would get whenever you laughed at one of his jokes or when you lightly touched him, that was the feeling that dragged him through his days. It was the light at the end of the tunnel. The candle in the dark.

- -- -

The next Thursday you found yourself back in the courtyard. The darkness surrounded you as you read the letter for what felt like the hundredth time. You knew every word by heart and if someone would take the letter away from you, you could recreate it the exact same way.

Sometimes your parents didn't even try to hurt you and that was why maybe it hit even harder. What your mother had written was nothing else than a praise for your brother.

He told us that they are thinking of mixing up the classes. I would have assumed to hear something like that from you too, but you are probably too busy with your friends. Your brother has told us about them. They are quite a peculiar group, are they not? I have heard stories about that young Black and I must say I am not happy about you being friends with him...

Stupid mother. She had no right to decide who you would be friends with and though you had let her know that, she kept pushing you.

The tears stung in your eyes as you looked the letter again. What had you done to deserve this? All your life you had almost been invisible, letting your brother get all the attention. You were always seen as the quiet kid, while that wasn't entirely like you. Mostly you were quiet because you didn't want your parents to get angry with you for taking the attention.

The same footsteps as a week ago sounded through the open air. A small light revealed James in front of you. He was standing at your feet with a concerned look on his face.

‘Thursday's post day,’ you muttered with a dry laugh and waved the letter in front of you.

James sighed and sat down next to you. His arm was quickly wrapped around your waist and you rested your head on his shoulder.

‘Why do they do it, James?’ you asked.

‘Because they don't realise their daughter is amazing,’ James answered without missing a beat. ‘They don't know you. They never have and now it's too late to start,’ James looked at the letter, ‘I don't think your parents will be too happy when they hear that your brother failed his Charms.’

‘They won't hear it,’ you spoke softly, already knowing that your brother wouldn't tell them and no one else would too.

‘Promise me something?’ James asked and you looked up to him. ‘Don't open their next letter. Just throw it out, or give it to me when you want to know what's in it. But don't open it yourself.’

‘I won't open it,’ you promised.

A silence fell over you and you looked at the stars above you. There was no moon tonight; the last full moon was two weeks ago and the next would be in another two weeks. The only thing that decorated the dark blue canvas were the little sparkles.

‘How can you be so brave?’ you suddenly asked. ‘How can you just make decisions and be sure of what you are doing?’

James chuckled and he rested his cheek on the top of your head.

‘I'm not that brave,’ he confessed. ‘I am scared. Scared that all of this will be worthless. There is a war going on and we are learning about ways to turn a table into brown cow. What if we are not prepared for life out there?’

‘I don't think anyone is ever prepared,’ you whispered. ‘You never know what is to come and that makes the future so scary. But that is also what makes it exciting. We want to know what will come to us and that is why we go on. To see the future.’

‘You're really smart,’ James said. ‘I know you don't believe me, but you are.’

‘Thank you, James.’

You stayed on the ground for a moment longer, enjoying the scene. There was a tingle in your stomach. A tingle that you had never felt before. A feeling that made you want to do a dance and a feeling that made you want to throw up. It was a hint of nervousness mixed with excitement.

It was long dark when you returned to your bed, safe in the Gryffindor Tower. The soft breaths of the girls around you sounded through the silent room. You were calm. James seemed to have that effect on you.

Around James there was support and care. And there always would be.

- -- -

The common room was dark and Remus sat in the corner, hidden from whoever would walk into the room. His face was buried in a book but his mind was not there. He was thinking about you. You had been off all day, as if something was bothering you. It had taken all Remus’ courage to walk up to you and ask you if there was something wrong and you had brushed it off like it was nothing. Remus’ heart had broken a little when you had shared a look with James.

But you and James were just friends, Remus knew. James was madly in love with Lily, who lately seemed to have the same interest in James.

As Remus was deep in thought, the portrait opened and you and James walked in hand in hand. Remus shot up in his chair and stayed still, hoping that neither of his friends would notice him.

You and James walked to the middle of the common room and Remus’ heart beat faster with every step you took closer to him, afraid that you would see him. But you and James kept still. You placed your hand on James’ arm and James pulled you in for a hug. Even from his place and in the dark, Remus could see there were tears on your face.

So something was bothering you.

James kissed you on the top of your head and Remus’ inside twisted. He should have been the one standing there, holding you in his arms and kissing you on your head. Not James.

‘You’re a good friend, James,’ you whispered, but the space was empty and Remus heard every word. The jealous part of him calmed a little. James was your friend. Nothing more, nothing less.

And as James and you both went your ways, Remus stayed in his chair in the corner. In the dark he stared at the place where you just had stood.

It was nothing like Remus to feel jealous, but as he thought of how his friend had just hold you, jealousy rushed through his veins.

- -- -

The following weeks were the same. Once a week you and James sat in the courtyard, discussing your fears and insecurities. You told him about the parts of your anger that you had hidden from your friends. You confessed that, despite telling a lot of the issues to your friends, there still were bottled up emotions.

You shared your deepest thoughts with him and he shared his with you. You learned that he was scared he was going to let his family down. He was afraid he would lose his friends in the war and he was fearing that he would never be enough. To his family and his friends.

Every Thursday night you spent with James and somewhere between spilling secrets and staring to the night sky, you fell for him.

You had always feared love because you didn't know what it would do to you. You had feared love because you didn’t know what it felt like. You thought that what you and James shared was a strong bond. A bond of friendship. But as you lied your head on his shoulder and held his hand in yours, you realised that this was more than a friendship.

To you.

You came to treasure the moments you shared with James. The Thursday nights, the breakfasts in the morning when neither of you was really awake, sitting next to each other in class, staying up late at night to plan a prank. Every time you were near James, your heart fluttered and your cheeks darkened. The butterflies started to fly in your stomach and your mind started to wonder. Wonder about sitting in his lap, putting your arms around his neck, kissing him or just holding his hand. You wondered what it would be like to be with James.

But you kept your thoughts to yourself. Because James didn’t share them.

You saw it in the way he looked at Lily, with eyes full of adoration. You noticed he was the same around you as he was around Marlene. He joked with you and called you his sister. He pushed you to Remus or Sirius with the joke that you should date on of them.

Your heart broke a little more every time your feeling weren’t returned. And yet, you kept coming back to him on those Thursday nights. You sat next to him, his arm around your waist and his hand playing with your fingers. His head resting on yours. There was comfort and solace in the dark courtyard. You still talked about your fears and your dreams, but you closed more. Where James once saw the bottom of your heart, he now only saw the top. You had closed yourself for him, knowing the secrets that lied underneath. You didn’t want him to know.

And James noticed nothing. He never realised you were opening up less to him. Maybe that was what hurt the most; he never saw the change in you.

- -- -

Something was wrong with you, Remus had noticed. You laughed less and your smiled didn’t reach your eyes. You left the room quick and spent more time on your own than with your friends.

Remus saw how you closed yourself for your friends. You talked less, opened up less. Where you were once the inexhaustible pit of jokes and comfort, you were now cold and distant. Remus was scared that it was something he had done; you rarely sat next to him anymore, you never studied with him and you always declined when he asked if you wanted to do something. But Sirius and Peter told him that you did the same with them. They noticed it too. The change in you that made you less their friend.

The only one who didn’t notice was James. He paid too little attention to you to notice. But whenever his friends told him that there was something wrong with you, he reassured them that everything was fine. Remus wanted to believe his friend, but his guts told him he was wrong.

He hadn’t forgotten when you had walked into the common room late at night with James. Every Thursday James would come to the dorm late and though he had an excuse every time, Remus knew that he had been with you. Every Thursday night when James came back, Remus felt like confronting his friend with what he knew, but it felt not right.

So instead he bottled up his emotions. The love that Remus felt for you was eating him inside. He wanted to tell you so bad, but he knew that you would turn him down. And the fear of rejection was bigger than the courage to confess.

- -- -

‘I said yes!’ Lily screeched and she fell on her bed.

‘Yes to what?’ Marlene asked beside you, watching Lily with a peculiar expression.

Lily turned to you and Marlene with a big smile on her face. ‘Yes to James.’

And that was when the final pieces of your heart, that had been holding everything together, broke apart. Your heart shattered into a hundred pieces. A burning fire rose in your body and your stomach twisted. It was as if someone had stabbed you in your chest. Only this was your own fault. Your own stupid fault. You should have never fallen for James.

‘Finally!’ Marlene said and she ran to Lily’s bed. That gave you some time to get yourself together. You had to hide your emotions now. No one knew about your feelings and no one would. It was a mistake.

‘That’s wonderful!’ you said with a high pitched voice to show your false excitement. From her bed Lily grinned at you and she then hid her face in her hands. Marlene was sitting beside her, rubbing her back.

‘What have I done?’ Lily groaned from behind her hands. ‘I don’t know what I was thinking.’

‘Lily, you have been crushing on this guy for the past year now,’ Marlene said, throwing her hands up in the air. ‘It was about time!’

‘But this is James! He came up to me, no extras and no stupid jokes, and just asked if I wanted to go to Hogsmeade with him next Thursday. Before I knew what happened I had already said yes.’

Just when you thought that things could not be any worse, your inside twisted again. Thursday? James planned at date on the only day of the week you looked forward to? Did he really care that little about you?

You got up from your bed and left the dorm, mumbling an excuse as you did so. Your feet walked you through the common room in the hope to reach the portrait hole without anyone seeing you. But your luck got worse.

‘Don’t look so sad,’ Remus said as he walked over to you and grabbed your arm to stop you. ‘Lily just said yes to a date with James!’

You put on a fake smile and nodded. ‘Yeah, I heard all about it from Lily,’ you said with a voice that was more bitter than you intended.

Remus looked at you and placed his hand on your shoulder. ‘What’s wrong?’ he asked in a soft voice. His eyes stood full of worry and you felt a wave of tenderness flowing over you. A warm feeling spread through your shoulder and when you looked up to Remus, the locks opened and all your emotions spilled out.

‘Weeks I spend with him! I tell him all my secrets! I shared my darkest fears with him and he acts like he cares. He acts like I am the most important person for him! But then he doesn’t even look at me and still runs after her!’ your voice had raised and some students looked at you. Tears threatened to fall from your eyes and you pulled away from Remus’ touch. You ran from the common room, not listening to Remus’ calls and ignoring the Fat Lady telling you it was past curfew. You ran until your legs didn’t let you anymore. In the courtyard you fell on your knees and as you breathed out the tears streamed down your cheeks.

The scene was all familiar. The dark sky, the stars, the courtyard. The tears were running down your face in the same way they had done weeks ago on that first Thursday. All your emotions were the same; you were sad, angry and hurt.

And you were taken back to love. Was this love? This pain and discomfort?

If this was love then you never wanted it again. You would live your life without. You would find a way to live your life without this pain. You didn’t need to love someone. You didn’t want to love someone if it was like this.

- -- -

With pain in his chest Remus followed you through the dark corridors. He could have known that you liked James. He should have known. The way you looked at James and the way you always leaned towards him, should have warned Remus. But he was blind from his love for you. Blind to the love you had for James and not for him. But he couldn’t leave you alone. He had to put his own hurt to the side and help you. Like a friend.

The sound of your sobs brought Remus to the courtyard. There in the middle on the dark stones, were you sitting on your knees. Anyone who wasn’t looking for you would have probably not seen you. Remus kneeled down next to you and carefully placed his hand on your back.

You did not even look up as you started to talk, ‘I thought I meant something to him, you know? I spent all those nights with him, thinking that he at least cared for me. But apparently not.’

You lifted your head to Remus and he saw the tears on your cheeks. He cupped your face and wiped away the tears with his thumbs. He knew there was a blush on his cheeks. ‘He doesn’t deserve you,’ Remus whispered to you and you blinked at him.

‘Did he ever talk about me?’ you asked and Remus sighed. He wanted you to know the truth; that James was not the one for you. But he didn’t want to see you even more broken.

Remus stayed silent and that was enough an answer for you. The tears rolled down your cheeks again and you averted your eyes from Remus. He dropped his hands and watched as you stared at your hands.

‘Stop crying, love,’ Remus said, making you look at him. ‘He is not worth the tears.’

‘How can you say such a thing about your friend?’ you asked curiously as you wiped away the tears with the back of your hand.

‘Because what he did hurt you. And I hate to see you in pain,’ Remus answered.

You stared at Remus for a moment and then you kissed him.

It was all Remus had wanted for months, but it didn’t feel right. Your lips were cold and your heart was not in it. It was no kiss of passion, but a kiss of desperation. And as much Remus wanted to kiss you, he didn’t want it like this.

He broke away and placed his hand on your cheek. You were crying again and Remus shook his head.

‘It’s alright.’

‘No, it’s not,’ you whispered. ‘Why did you never tell me?’

‘Because you don’t feel the same,’ Remus said. ‘Do you?’

‘I-’ you started but you stopped and looked away. Remus’ heart shattered and the tears threatened to fall. He knew you didn’t love him and yet it hurt. He took his arm back and sighed. You took his hand and he let you take him in your arms.

Remus looked up to the sky and watched the stars that painted figures in the dark. Stars that were escapes to another world. A world where no one would get hurt. A world that was the opposite of where he was now. An escape to his feelings.

You lied your head on Remus’ shoulder and took his hand. Everything was the same, but nothing was. What you felt here with Remus was not the same you felt with James. With James it was comfort and support. With Remus you felt love. The love he felt for you might not be the one you shared, but he loved you and sometimes that is enough.

‘We will be alright, Rem. We have each other.’

‘We do.’

- - - - - - - -

taglist:

remus lupin:@racerparker @susceptible-but-siriusexual

marauders: @secretsthathauntus @ronniethelost @sognatrice-as-a-hobby @hxrgreeves @belovedadam @wecouldbreakthedistance @valentina-007

general HP: @kitkatkl @girllety @yuptha-tsme @sleep-i-ness @iamak20 @thefuturelawyer @weasleydream​ @missmulti​ @deafgirltingz​ @moonstarrnghtsky​ @bloodblossom73​ @mytreec​

[pinktatertots99]

PLEASE WRITE KANKRI HITTING ON RUFIOH THROUGH AN ELABORATE THESIS ITD BE SO FUNNY

nonnie...i would be so honored. THIS ONES FOR YOU and all my like, five rufkri shippers out there.

basically kinda sorta more a love confession but ey its kinda flirty with wha he talks about.

also for some who need the helps: rufioh uses 1′s for i’s, kankri uses 6′s for B’s, and he uses 9′s for O’s -ye i’m adding this just incase, we all need reminders cause kankri’s can be a fucking headache of a quirk-

-COUGHS- my archiveofourown link to this fic -COUGHS-

_____________________________

your name is rufioh nitram and your taking a breath for yourself for once. you find yourself in a dream bubble you re-imagined as your old lost boy's location: tall blue and pink tree's with red cherry colored petals on them and littered at their tops various treehives connected via bridge's, stair cases, the gist.

you lay back on one of them that was your's, a big blocky one that has a couple windmills on top of it laying on the ledge that covered the top of your front door. kicking your leg absentmindedly as ol nostalgia rings through you, you barely get this kinda alone time but talk bout the advantage's of dream bubbles and damara's nice descendant escorting you.

until you hear the grass crunch from under you. you could just ignore it, finally steal some time for yourself but that’s not how your gears work; damn rogue bullcrap. you open your colorless eyes and move to look over your left where your sitting and spot a blob of red and feel a weird sense of relief.

its none other then your groupies lead spokesman kankri vantas walkin around trying to find you from how he keeps looking to his sides. kankri’s...something alright. sure everyone complains bout how much he babbles on bout half baked facts, preachy, pushy, an angry lil firecracker; actually maybe that’s why he’s so angry.

oddly though your not around alot for those, you’ll eyeroll at somethings but otherwise he’s pretty chill around you. bonus he’s celibate so you finally have someone who won’t try hitting on you every time you breathe in their direction. also your a mutant like him so mutant bro’s unite you’d think, it was cool finding you weren’t the only ‘cullbait’ of the gang honestly.

you go to get up and stretch your wings and back a bit. you may aswell make a sick entrance. you go run two steps and jump, your falling for a few seconds and it has your adrenaline pump before your wings pick up their flapping and have you flying downward slowly.

you saw kankri see you with near panic but pretty neutral look, dude barely had any sorta reactions but that was alright if it meant you could spot the teeniest moment he’d be thrown off as you land on the grass softly five steps away from him.

“9h.” he replies as you snicker. “pretty s1ck r1ght?” “in y9ur ling9 yes 6ut i advice y9u t9 please try n9t t9 use it s9 l99sely especially ar9und th9se in medically unwell situati9ns.”

you rub behind your neck. “sorry. anyways wha’ up? pass1n by?” you notice a pile of papers in his arms, maybe he’s gonna go preaching to some of those new human ghosts maybe? your betting the dude with the pointy glasses will be a conflict to him if he does.

“9h n9 actually i came t9 find y9u.” he states and you perk up a bit. find you? “megid9′s descendant was kind en9ugh t9 esc9rt me here.” ah her, you really should’ve figured. you take a step or two closer lookin down to see him cause dude’s fuckin short. “yeah? uhhh alr1ght, well what’s up?”

he looks back to his papers almost, hesitant? kankri vantas nervous? tarnish the thought till he looks back up clearing his throat. “genetical uniqueness.” ...what? “what?” you ask as he continues. “genetical uniqueness in 9ne’s self is a kn9wn fact9r 9ne sees in an9ther that is a small step to a gr9wing infatuati9n in said individual whether it 6e aesthetical, physical or pers9nality wise.”

...you...you don’t know what’s going on. is he giving a lecture? seminar? on genetics? oh gog messiah’s dangit kankri may be your boy as you’ve called him before (not around him you know better) but man there’s only so much of him you can chill with until it starts getting to well, this point. you don’t stop him though cause kankri vantas never stops until he’s finished.

“s9me f9rms 9f genetical uniqueness c9uld c9me fr9m all 9f th9se and m9re. f9r example, an unc9mm9n s9cietal genetic that while n9t unc9mm9n can 6e seen as a f9rm of interest to s9me9ne and unique. whether freckles, hatchmarks or, wings perhaps.” your wings flap at that.

“9f c9urse t9 t9uch 9n the first three f9rms 9f attraction i mentioned if y9u d9n’t mind my reference 6ack t9 the su6jects at hand, an aesthetical attracti9n t9 certain f9rms 9f attire and style that differ’s fr9m 9ne’s 9wn can 6e an9ther. 9f c9urse this is entirely su6jective as n9 indivudals are the same 9n this manner h9wever 9pp9site’s attract seem t9 have m9re likelih99d t9 find 69nds in a multitude 9f ways. examples 9f this kind 9f su6ject is perhaps a rebel-esque design that c9rrelates t9 s9me a resistance t9 a c9nf9rma6le s9ciety with it’s 9wn strict regulati9ns and laws. s9mething like rigid and ripped attire 9r sharp disc9l9red hair c9uld 6e examples that 9ne wh9 while n9t p9ssibly sharing th9se designs with them finds inspiring t9 l99k t9.”

you look at your ripped jeans and vest. you...kinda still dont know what he’s going on about, but you keep listening.

“the sec9nd aspect, physical is 9n a similar subjectivity as while 9ne finds a physical aspect 9f s9me9ne attractive an9ther will n9t. h9wever physical attracti9n inv9lves s9me f9rm 9f the 9ther individuals 69dy they deem as p9tentiality t9 perhaps engage in a quadranted arrangement with said individual whether h9rns, fangs, a smile that gives a pleasant crease to their facial structure, their 69dy language when shy 9r excited, perhaps even height as acc9unta6le as studies sh9w a pred9minant interest in a taller partner for feelings of pr9tecti9n, sta6ility, 9r an9ther f9rm 9f 9pp9site’s attracting if the 9ther party isn’t their perceived interest’s 9wn height.”

you rub the back of your neck...nervously. your not dumb your getting some serious implications. you don’t wanna believe them, nah no way kankri’s celibate maybe he’s talking bout someone else? alotta their team has nice smiles and taller then him or dress ‘rebelistic’ as he calls it.

“lastly there’s attraction to pers9nality. m9st w9uld like a pers9nality they find in s9me f9rm similar t9 their 9wn t9 gain n9t 9nly m9re in c9mm9n t9 create a 69nd 6ut als9 as a starting part f9r c9mm9nality t9 make it easier t9 take the necessary steps. s9me h9wever may find attracti9n t9 a pers9nality that differs fr9m their 9wn. why is dependa6le 9n certain pers9nal aspects but m9st are 9ut of jeal9usy f9r seeing s9me9ne they are n9t, 9r perhaps admirati9n t9 have what they have 6ut cann9t 9r are una6le t9 yet due t9 their 9wn pers9nal reas9ns and s9 they try finding a partner wh9 has s9me 9f th9se aspects they cann9t harness. n9t in a c9ntr9lling way mind y9u n9r t9 use them 6ut due t9 a f9rm 9f admirati9n and interest.”

you nod as he perks up. “ah, ap9l9gies h9wever menti9ning quadrants earlier. they have a varying r9le in these f9rms 9f attracti9n 6ut i failed t9 reitterate this 6eing m9re 9pen t9 interpretati9n 9n any f9rm 9f quadrants i’m referring t9 as many 9f these examples in this thesis can 6e f9r any quadrant. als9 ap9l9gies f9r the menti9n 9f this su6ject due t9 y9ur recent 6reak fr9m y9ur matesprit i didn’t mean f9r any kind 9f harm t9 y9u 9n it.” “nah 1t’s okay 1 get 1t. 1′m f1ne.”

he nods going back to his papers, least it looks like he’s almost done. “thank y9u. n9w where was i? right. n9w many examples 9f pers9nality attracti9n vary fr9m pers9n t9 pers9n 6ut i shall use a hyp9thetical and keep in mind it’s 9nly hyp9thetical. perhaps s9me9ne is rather una6le to s9cialize with any f9rm 9f 9ther parties due t9 varying 9pp9site interests or 9stracizati9n fr9m said gr9up. perhaps they meet s9me9ne wh9, perhaps shares s9me f9rm 9f genetical uniqueness t9 them, perhaps als9 having similar experiences t9 what their shared s9ciety 9r even different s9cieties share similarities t9. b9th gr9w and act very differently due t9 h9w they react and are raised in said s9ciatal climate. while the first hyp9thetical partner gr9ws t9 6e m9re f9refr9nt and 9pen t9 their 9wn th9ughts that s9me find c9ntr9versial the sec9nd partner is pers9nally flexible with an exteri9r design and m9re positive pers9nality s9me find m9re likely t9 fl9ck t9 them m9re.”

he’s hiding behind his papers but you swear you saw those cheeks turning a tint of red. your blushing too but you don’t know if its the same as his. your pumpbiscuit is beating hard but you don’t know if its infatuation or anxiety.

“perhaps, when the first pers9n sees this they find themselves just as infatuated to make themself kn9wn t9 this pers9n due t9 their 9pen relia6ility. perhaps they als9 feel a f9rm 9f jeal9usy that they are unable t9 have the same people-friendly exteri9r t9 them and, wish they had that ability t9 d9 s9. may6e the 9ther seems, at least t9 the first individual, 9pen t9 them and what they have t9 say 9r are fine with spending time with them that has the first individual to sl9wly c9me t9 terms with their 9wn feelings 9n this pers9n. even, s9 far as t9 admit even with their 9wn pers9nal views 9f themselves and their 9wn 6eliefs, they may find them, expenda6le t9wards this individual.”

okay no the beating is anxiety now, this is WAY too much you see it all now and your...scared. your really scared now. he sighs and clears his throat again. “in c9nclusi9n i 6elieve these f9ur fact9r’s are likely c9mp9nants t9 6uild a f9rm 9f r9mantic attracti9n 9ne may find in an9ther. s9, what did y9u think 9f it?”

your horrified, your rubbing your arm nervously and trying to put on a smile for him. “1t’s...pretty good yeah. real conv1nc1ng.” you feel like such a douchebag right now getting nervous. your recent break with horrus was, okay shitty to say, but it was nice having a break from romance.

you know you know that’s really shitty, but you feel the need to put all you can in it and you get drained and can’t keep going sometimes. its like the break charges you up so then your back to giving him your all and it repeats. it sucks, but he loves you and you feel even more douchy at the idea of telling him you can’t do it anymore, ever, after yanking his chain for this long.

you...don’t want that for kankri. your at a 50% charge right now on romancing least flushed wise, you never tried the other quad’s before. what if he wants flushed? you can’t do that you’d lose him if you pulled what you do to horrus on him cause you really kinda, don’t know how to stop or talk about it. 

even then you don’t even know if your both broken up for good or what, you could end up with him again and then it’d be a damara situation and you don’t want kankri to be your next damara he keeps grudges way longer then her (which your surprised she tolerates you enough even with her grudge but you digress).

even then all he talked about felt, surface level. like everyone’s crush’s on you; except meenah which guess this means she’s the only one never to flirt with you now. damn it. still though he doesn’t even really know you, sure he could learn but, do you really want him to? learn about how much of a fraud you are? how all this is an act and you honestly have no fucking clue why anyone likes you? how you can’t be your own troll? gog he’d be so disappointed he goes on about trolls equalizing and needing their own rights to be their own troll but you can’t do that; not even for him probably.

point is: your shit at flushed and you don’t want kankri involved. you wanna give him those free feelings your classpect is supposed to do. hard part is, how’re you gonna let him down?

before you can think further he speaks up. “i’m glad y9u think s9. y9ur an excellent listener rufi9h i d9 genuinely appreciate it.” you see a twitch at the end of his lip and it pains you the fact he almost smiled. “perhaps we can have m9re 9f these meetups next time?” he asks taking a step to leave.

your surprised but kinda relieved too, least he’s not asking you out, but then again he’s also coming back sometime. meaning he might get more and more confident to actually pop the question your not ready to burst his bubble with your response with yet.

you smile though and wave at him. “ahah, sure sure 1′ll be here for 1t. or, we can meetup here?” he nods moving to look away as he walks off. “i will make n9te 9f that f9r 9ur next c9nversati9n. take care nitram.” he states, you watch as he gets more distant and vanishes in the forest.

you sigh long and relieved and go to fly back to your spot, moving to lay down on it though as you let it all soak in. your rufioh nitram and you just got flirted with by the kankri celibate vantas himself.