#love hurts.

[aliceosemansolos]

I miss you. I miss your goofy smile that made me smile. I miss your beautiful shaggy hair. I miss your kind voice. Your voice was so truly angelic. I miss your presence. The first time we met was so important to me because I knew you would become important to me. You don't remember it, I'm pretty sure. You never did your work so the teacher made you come see her. I thought you were really beautiful. The next time we met was when I transfered classes. I had to sit next to you and you cursed under your breath when you saw me. Sort of like I was a curse, but it was okay because I was your curse. You talked to me mainly because everyone picked on you for being chubby. I always thought you were the most beautiful guy. The first time we had a real conversation was when we had to work together. I asked you if you thought I split the cards evenly. You flashed that adorable smile at me and nodded. I couldn't even speak after that, no words would come out my mouth because you made me nervous. After that, they changed our seats. We got to choose where we wanted to sit and I sat with my best friend. Me and you didn't talk much after that. You would still smile at me. I left you and I feel like I hurt you or maybe I hurt myself. The last time we talked it was for a group work thing. Everytime someone would try to move on, I would stop them because you were scared to talk to my friends. You wouldnt tell them you were confused and needed more time for the work. After the teacher told us to go back, I said bye to you very quietly. Everyone thought it was weird that I was friends with you. I felt a bit embrassed so I said bye quietly. The next week, you moved back to Florida. I never got to give you a proper goodbye and I am so sorry. When the teacher said you moved back, I felt like someone had just taken out my heart. I felt like I was dying slowly. I can't even sit in that class without crying. I always look for you even though I know you're not there. Why did you have to leave?? I felt so happy when I was with you. You were never fake to me. All my other friends can be bitches at times but you never were. I hope you come back. I miss you so so much. I wish you could've stayed longer so we could've fell in love. I love you so much and you will never know. I'll never know if you love me too. I wish more guys were like you. I know you'll never read this but I love you, Aaron. Maybe I hope this message will find you even though you're miles away.

[greykolla-art]

My blog has become infested with angst goblins, and they must be fed with some hypothetical scenarios!🙏💚

[flimythings]

"you cant heal if you pretend you're not hurt"

-filmythings

[transfemoid]

[spiderversegf]

one important thing that Must be understood about interpersonal relationships is that you have to stop interacting with people who love you like they’re one slip-up away from leaving you. you have to trust that the ppl you love mean what they say. you have to believe that when they say “this hurt my feelings,” that they’re also saying, “can you please love me this other way next time?” and you have to wrap your head around the fact that even if you don’t understand Why someone loves you, you can accept that that they do. true, honest, & open love does not function like hp in a video game !!!!!!

[ruporas]

your love returns in tragedy (ID in alt)

[imfinereallyy]

you can pry happy endings from my cold-dead hands. It can be the most heart stopping, gut wrenching fic that has every existed and I will read every drop of it if I get my happy ending. I have had enough painful endings in real life, give me happy in my fantasy world. It can be at the last second, it can be a single sentence, even a single word. Give me all the angst and hurt in the world for 500,000 words, but please give me the comfort I need in the ending. please and thank you.

[glorious-spoon]

i know we all laugh (mostly fondly) about the paper-thin plots in porn that only exist to make the sex happen, but i was reading some old stargate fic over the weekend, and i really think we're sleeping on the paper-thin hurt/comfort plot that only exists to force the characters to FEEL THINGS.

like, is this scenario realistic? no. does it make any rational sense? no. does it provide a built-in excuse for a character to collapse, bloody and disoriented, into the arms of his beloved/friend/partner? obviously, that's the whole point of this exercise.

i love it. it's my favorite thing in the world.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Happy Thistle Debut Day!

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[nolamac73]

[cobrajuincy]

I hear the piteous rworwl and I turn and I See Him

and now I must spread his image for others to see lest he fucking GET me

[taikova]

happy holidays! here's luffy and chopper wandering.

[captainkirkk]

I want to see characters being taken care of in an explicit and worshipful way. Home-cooked meals. Hair brushed and braided by gentle hands. Little gifts just because.

I want to read about characters who are not used to kindness being bombarded by acts of service. This trope works romantically and platonically. Give me found family and acts of service - all the ways a character is wrapped up in wordless, explicit care after years of cruelty and having no idea how to handle. I need it.

[threadbareturnbacks]

You know what? Happy Disability Month to those who were disabled by accident. Cars, skis, ice, sand, rocks, horses, just plain bad luck. Broken bones and backs that never heal. Shoulders that can't lift or move right. Wrists that don't turn. Hands that can't grasp. Brains that don't work right anymore. Legs that don't move anymore and eyes that won't recover.

The shame, the blame, the frustration, the wishful thinking that tears you apart. The beauty of small victories and simple kindness. The community you build. Reshaping a life with no warning. Mourning for the person you once were. Joyfully embracing the person you now are. Happy Disability Month to you too (even if you aren't ready to use that word yet)

[qiinamii]

crown swap