#love me characters that act despite huge personal cost

[blushouyo]

ignihyde chapter really boosted vil’s position on my favs list

[dangermousie]

By now this drama has departed so wildly from the novel that I’d call it at most inspired by the source material. Because of that, it has narratively started becoming rather a mess (and that is why ultimately, I don’t cry into my pillow over not ever getting to see HYX btw. I love 2ha and they’d have to pretzel it to make it into a drama and that would drive me nuts.) 

BUT! Despite the mess (and I find it’s a rare cdrama that does not get messy near the end tbh), it has two awesome things going for it: (1) LYX’s exquisite portrayal of suffering and (2) it is SUCH an interesting premise, if wildly different from the novel - demon god not only built himself a meat suit per specs, he has also predestined said meat suit’s whole life, down to all the betrayals and suffering - and specific, not general “his life will suck.” Thus any seeking of happiness, any defiance on part of TTJ becomes an act of determined insanity of the best sort - despite literal Divine (demonic) telling him this is how his life is and how it controls that life (and with evidence for the same) and despite making any person feel helpless and meaningless to know all his emotions and actions were predetermined and written out to tenderize the meat for best consumption, so to speak, that he is a puppet, a marionette, that his volition is illusory and free will nonexistent - Tantai Jin looks at all of this and goes NO. I have agency. I will do what I want even if all that happened before was a play for my benefit with my strings being yanked. Even if there is no reward, because free will is its own reward. His life prepared him for hopeless fights (And in a way, the cultivators and the world are so awful ironically demon god being worse to TTJ is the best thing in their favor - to give in to demon god would be agreeing to the wishes of your greatest torturer, the conductor of your misery.) 

With demon god as the writer and TTJ the character whose strings he yanks and whose wings he pulls off, and TTJ’s utter refusal to give in, despite the absolute ruler of his life saying he should, this reminds me of Extraordinary You, my favorite drama of all time, very different in plot and setting, but with that same idea - creations refusing their creator and establishing free will on the margins, whatever the cost. 

God, the way his life is ashes in front of him and he still fights.

I honestly think the only way he doesn’t break under this ocean of horror is because his life has been so awful he’s built up a tolerance. (The concept of universe out to get you reminds me of Mistakenly Saving the Villain and the divinity being either absent or uncaring horror and the world cannibalizing itself but the main choosing to go “I will still choose good” despite the futility or the horrors thrown at him, makes me think of Wu Chang Jie. Both are huge faves.)

Fuck you, demon god!

Of course not. Gotta give him some happiness to not make him permanently numb because those permanently numb cannot emotionally be flayed.

Honestly, how does he not break?

The poor man. All I want is therapy for him and some cookies.

But honestly, give LYX all the awards, he is SO good!

[theoneandonlysun]

Sun and Dusk are consistently referred to as “Goddess”. While being a deity or close to one isn’t that huge of a deal in a digital-fictional universe like this one, it’s still notable. We have many characters who could be argued to be a deity/god of some kind, like Bob or Verie (I only mention Verie because Icia considered calling her one) or Nightmare (she was enough of one to qualify for the Pythagorean Theorem achievement) or even Jessy post-ascension.

But only Dusk and Sun are OUTRIGHT called Goddess. So that gives them some implied powers and default authority. And yet, despite being given the same title, they act and are treated very differently by both the narrative and the characters in the narrative.

Why?

Because they’re two completely different kinds of Goddess.

Sun is a classical Goddess. Think of the Greco-Roman pantheon. As any fellow Percy Jackson fan can attest, the Greco-Roman gods and goddesses were very human, even too human. They were flawed as humans are flawed, and were not treated as perfect. Sun would be considered more amicable and personal than most Classical Pantheon members, seeing as she doesn’t smite people on a dime. Thus, the narrative and characters treat Sun as one of them, as a flawed, human goddess. As a reflection of the best and worst a human is capable. When given this kind of power and this kind of responsibility, Sun reacts how a human would react. Sun is loving and personal and human, but that comes at a steep cost, because no human was meant to bear the burden of a goddess. The consequences of Sun’s actions, spreading from the infinite human potential for harm, carry even more weight than a normal human’s.

Now look at Dusk.

I’ll be honest, she is just as flawed as Sun is. She has just as many shortcomings, just as many fatal mistakes. But the narrative and characters treat her very differently. At first it was just because I put effort into using specific titles, language, and rhetoric in reference to Dusk. But over time people have done that independent of me. Dusk is a Lovecraftian, modern goddess. She is deliberately written to be at least partially beyond the comprehension of the average character. She breaks the fourth wall and can function as a minor mod if need be. She’s an Eldritch goddess, and she acts like it. She’s a Bloodborne goddess, and her dominion specifically being emotion is a very key element of this part of her character. She has control over a major element of everyday life here, and the level of insanity and emotional turmoil these guys go through only goes to amplify how much sheer power the ability to control and manipulate emotions has here. But consider this. If it weren’t for her status as “Agape”, she would probably be very impersonal and ethereal, the kind of detached, distant goddess who cares not for mortal minds or lives. She is as personal as Sun, able to love and live like anyone else, just with a lot more power at her disposal when she needs it, just like sun.

Both are personal, but Sun is personal by default. Her title as “Goddess” intrinsically has that built it. Dusk doesn’t. Dusk’s title as “Goddess” belongs to those who must become impersonal and incomprehensible to deal with their knowledge and responsibilities. Thankfully, Dusk has that personal nature built in as a function of being DUSK, not being a “Goddess”. The narrative, though, understands the difference between the two seemingly similar titles, and it shows in descriptions and such, even if the titles and power levels are equally matched.

Funnily enough, they treat themselves as if they had the opposite titles. Sun throws around her power and perceived deityhood consistently and deliberately, placing herself in positions of authority. Dusk does not often “throw around” her power, instead showing it mostly in her appearance. She also deliberately makes herself equals with those she cares about, like shrinking herself down to Jessy’s size when they have an important conversation.

This is somewhat reflected in the people and dynamics they surround themselves with. Sun’s family is made of spouse and children, with her as head of a family with many under her. Dusk’s “family” is made of spouse and siblings, of many by her side. Both of the units function, and generally adhere to the titles and function of their roles. Sun disowns bob, and it has actual meaning, for example.

…Idk, there’s your rant.

DING DING DING DING DING DING DINGGGG

CORRECT!!!

this analysis is AMAZING elsie lemme tell you why

"As a reflection of the best and worst a human is capable. When given this kind of power and this kind of responsibility, Sun reacts how a human would react. Sun is loving and personal and human, but that comes at a steep cost, because no human was meant to bear the burden of a goddess. The consequences of Sun’s actions, spreading from the infinite human potential for harm, carry even more weight than a normal human’s."

EXACTLY. FOR ALL THIS TIME THISSSS IS WHAT IVE BEEN TRYING TO CONVEY YOU GUYS!!!! SHES FLAWED AND FRANTIC AND HORRIBLE AND MEAN AND SHES DOING HER FUCKING BEST BECAUSE ANYONE IN HER SITUATION WHO HAS HAD AS MUCH HURT AS HER WOULD DO THE EXACT SAME THING!!!

THEY JUST WOULDNT SUCCEED!!!

CAUSE SHES A GODDESS AND THAT PERSON IN QUESTION IS A HUMAN!!! THEY CANT DO SHIT!!!!

NOT TO MENTION HOW YOU JUST. SUDDENLY ANALYZED DUSK TOO??? LIKE. I GET HOW YOU MEAN "MODERN" AND STUFF YOU MADE DUSK SO FUCKING WELLL IT EXPLAINS SO MUUUCHHHH

POINTS. ELSIE. THIS IS THE BEST ANALYSIS EVER. LOVE YOU

[elinciarune]

So I have been slowly but surely playing variable barricade and have been able to finish the common route and Nayuta’s route after a couple of months, and now I want to write everything in my mind before moving on completely to Shion XD

Possible spoilers ahead 🙈

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To sum it up, I have been enjoying this game so much, it is really shaping up to be my favourite otome game! (Sorry Hakuouki you are still special and dear to me, but yeah, I’m being objective here XD)

At first, I was wary and kept my expectations low because the reviews were quite mixed. And I was entering the game assuming it is pure romantic comedy. I won’t lie at the first couple of chapters, the more slice of life-y tone that has some comedy sprinkled left me waiting for the rom-com to kick in Ouran-style, but the moment I appreciated and drilled in the idea that this game is indeed more of a slice of life, character-study kind of story, I immediately started enjoying the common route immensely!

The dialogue is top-notch, the character interactions are so good, and the characters themselves are multi-faceted and feel so real in a good way.

The common route was enjoyable from start to finish, every sentence and piece of dialogue I enjoyed.

Of course, Hibari herself has a huge role to play in this. She was thrusted in a very extreme and difficult situation from her point of view, so every thing she has said or done (including her ‘bratty’ attitude) totally makes sense and perfectly portray a 17 yr old teenager.

Plus she’s cute, really really cute, protect my baby at all cost 😤

So yeah overall I have been hooked😆🤝

Now for Nayuta’s route, I like genki, himbo guys so was looking forward to his route, and it perfectly delivered. I like how in the beginning, Hibari, as a way to work upon making sense of her choice of him, creates this scenario of him being her guardian and acts like a typical teenage girl who falls in love, and despite this shattering because of how oblivious and one track minded he is, her pursuing of him actually caused a huge ripple in his very straightforward simplistic world, where he sets on one thing and clings unto achieving it despite everything else.

That gets me to the fact that he was described as ‘selfish’. Which was a really interesting way to describe him. And yeah that one track mindedness of his and straightforwardness makes him put his own desires first and foremost and in a way he is ‘selfish’. But interestingly, as I said, the ripple caused by Hibari led to him gradually maturing in a way that uses such straightforward and ‘selfish’ thinking in a way that is more balanced.

In fact, I think him being ‘selfish’ is not bad at all! It means that his desires, when being directed towards becoming better and to also be and support those whom he loves, is actually much more better than a ‘selfless’ person who might put societies needs above theirs and would consequently get hurt or even hurt those around them.

So as his route progresses, I liked how he gradually started cherishing Hibari as someone dear to him for personal reasons, not idealistic ones, and he redirected his guardian skills in a way that made him perceptive of Hibari’s needs and compared to the beginning of the route, he became much more understanding.

By the end, the same one track mindedness that is an inherent part of his personality as well as the ‘selfishness’ became the drive for him to fulfil his desire to help Hibari and to be with her.

So 10/10 XD

Now to continue Shion 🤌

[alexstudyjapanese]

Seven Samurai

Kurosawa’s Seven Samurai, although having a runtime of three and a half hours, was engaging for me from front to finish. The film takes place in 16th century Japan, covering a small farming village’s conflict with raiding bandits. The village elder decides to fight back, and a small group of men are sent to find samurai to fight for the village. The first hour of so is spent assembling the titular crew of seven samurai who devote themselves to defending the village from the bandits.

My favorite part of the film is the attention to each characters’ personality, struggle, and motives. When the samurai are introduced, you get a sense of why the character chooses to join the crew or not. A huge influence is the caste system that influenced Japan in this era, with samurai not finding the same honor in defending a village as defending a clan with a castle. Kikuchiyo interested me the most, as he was clearly overcompensating for some aspect he felt he internally lacked, as seen in his attempt to deceive the samurai into believing he was from a line of samurai. This attention to the individual also adds weight to the fight scenes for me, as the impact of the character’s decisions and immediate objectives, as well as the consequences suffered, are clearly portrayed.

The caste conflict rises in two main subplots. Firstly, when it’s revealed the villagers are harboring samurai armor, meaning they have killed samurai in a past conflict. This adds immense tension, as the samurai question why they are even fighting for deceitful villagers. A powerful character moment followed when Kikuchiyo argued for the villagers, despite their nature to lie, because the samurai have caused them to live in fear. This moment revealed why Kikuchiyo has acted in the way he did, as he was born a farmer and moved through the caste system to become a samurai.

The other subplot involves a love story between Shino, the daughter of one of the villagers, and Katsushiro, a young samurai. On the eve of the decisive battle, Shino’s father discovers the pair’s entanglement, lashing out in anger and calling Shino damaged goods. This further displays the fact that farmers and samurai simply should not mix. Although this subplot was less crucial to the story, I think that Kurosawa was trying to fight against this strict system, with villagers saying “it’s just two people in love”.

People are driven by societal expectations of how they must act. Farmers and samurai do not mix. Samurai have the drive to prove their strength and honor in defending a village, even if they have nothing but rice to gain. The bandits continue their offensive, even once it’s clear the village’s defenses are too much for them. The outcome of this thinking is summed up nicely in the final scene, with Kambei saying “In the end, we’ve lost this battle too” before the camera pans up to the graves of the four fallen samurai. The peasant farmers are the victors, not the samurai who fought for them.

The filming techniques in this movie very pleasantly surprised me. I found myself entranced by the fighting scenes with shots such as the women’s point of view of the fighting from behind the wooden bars of their shelter. With almost exclusively practical effects, I was interested in the filming process of this movie. Turns out it wasn’t all that smooth, with the movie being delayed twice due to Kurosawa going overbudget and the final cost being $500,000 USD, the most of any Japanese film at the time. I think this speaks to the grand scale of the film, perhaps more than any other Japanese film up until that point.

[finiffy]

Good afternoon fin!! Do you have any hyper specific, niche knowledge or headcannons for Edison or kingson you would like to share with us today?

Hope that you are opening yourself up to having me word vomit about Edison and King, you did this, you unleashed this pandora's box

Despite Edison being shown as you know, the idiotic loud person he is like....weirdly reserved and quiet in most instances. It is more of an "act" (kinda? not really cause he isn't faking it) that he does to make himself big and important and into this character he wants to be. The loud version and quiet version are both his true personality, it's not like he is faking. I think it really depends, he hits the highs and lows constantly

Cause this man has a huge hero complex, he would day dream about being some self sacrificing lone wolf renegade that would save the day as he is stuck in his own office desk, looking over random test logs. He doesn't have any self preservation, like at all and it's bad like fucking look at this when King is trying to get Edison to safety (blowing off King's concerns with "Why do you care if I die" like ouch)

had a fic idea of Clef and Edison talking after the last incident that almost killed the guy. King in the past did try and stop Ed from doing all that self sacrificing stuff but he just didn't listen so King who is absolutely terrified/uncomfortable around Clef just "begs" Clef to go talk to Edison cause if King can't bring get this kid to listen then maybe Edison's role model/inspiration can cause all of his actions are based on being like Clef which like...no..don't be like Clef, even Clef knows how horrible he is

"I'm not some sort of role model that you can aspire to be, don't try to idolize me and the shit I did, I ain't a hero here kid no one is" (wished I could write...cause I have a need for a story like this, like I would pay someone to write this for me)

Edison just has a very bad glorification of Clef in his head cause all of the stories he hears through rumors and gossip from coworkers (he never really met Clef before, King did tho, King and Clef are both senior staff and had interacted with eachother but not too much)

King (bless his heart and him trying not be the center of attention) I think is the token "normal" person in the Foundation even with the apple seed situation plus always being seconds away from a meltdown, he is just tired, he needs a nap

The only times he gets wrapped up in some Foundation nonsense is when the narrative calls for him to take center stage or just Edison gets into trouble. The token background character that sometimes gets his own episode time to time unwillingly but is willing to insert himself in if his idiot is doing something idiotic (something something love for a person that you would destroy the walls of the narrative to keep your loved ones safe at the cost of your own character being controlled and played into a role that you fought against your entire life and the more you do this the more you lose yourself and independent will), sorry my brain loves that concept of King and the narrative, its like now integrated into my system along with the stupid "The apple of Eden is King's dad"

[tohisprettyc00l]

Okay so I see that you made some match up for toh character and I'm curious to try if you still do it 😊

For my look,I had long brown hair with ginger reflect in it,blue eyes that change for blue,blue grey or grey depending of the weather's with some yellow in it,a really lil nose still try to understand how I can breathe with this

For others information concerning me I'm a bisexual girl,30 years old that act like a mother with my friends and some people that I know and adopt me like they're mother ! I'm someone who need her freedom more than anything and I do what I want litteraly,had some problem in past because I was not the kind of always listening law 😅 I'm someone who crave for going in adventure,exploring,learning new things,I'm also a nature lover it's not unusual to find me taking a walk in the forest and enjoying the beauty that it's can offer ! I'm always ready too to try new things.Im someone who was protective with her love one and give all for see them happy no matter what it's cost ! I'm an owl lover strangely,love to play some instrument too and listening music.Cant stand bully and people that hurt people for having they're way I'm always ready to fight for what I think was good and never give up

If I can ask I want for romantic match up if you don't mind thanks for your time dear and had a great day take care of yourself and thank again !

(I'm pretty sure you sent two? Unless this is a big coincidence with the looks, age, sexuality, and gender. I'm going to use this one since it was the most recent.)

I match you with: Raine whispers!

-Raine is also very motherly (despite not being a girl lol) towards their friends. Together your friends WILL be taken care of.

-You value freedom most? (Also you've gotten in trouble with the law) Raine made a whole ass rebel group while being one of the highest members of the people supposed to uphold the law.

-Raine likes learning new things. They have whole stacks of books about one topic.

-They may not go on many adventures with you, but they do like to hear about what happened.

-They do like going on chill walks though.

-Also owl lover? Their ex-girlfriend literally was cursed to turn into an owl beast, has an owl palisman, and lived in an owl house. So I guess they'd have a type and that type is a person who likes owls to some degree.

-You play instruments? Do I need to elaborate on why that's perfect for Raine?

-They also just stand for justice in general. So you standing up for people being bullied is a huge green flag for them.

I hoped you like this! Also, some bisexual people are attracted to nonbinary people and others aren't, so I'm sorry if you aren't!

[nyxokal]

So I finished Steel Ball Run

So here we are!! I finally started the manga parts left, and just a couple days ago I finished SBR. Spoiler alert maybe but I decided to give myself some time to digest how much I loved it, because I wanted to spend some time with my thoughts and feelings instead of rushing to Jojolion and putting my feelings in the backburner

Once again here's the link to the livetweet thread and here's the tweet where SBR starts, and don't forget that the rest of the parts (minus Phantom Blood and Battle Tendency) are all stored in my "so I finished" tag

Spoilers ahead and let's get this show on the road fellas

What I liked

Genuinely I think I'm gonna end up singing this part praises more than anything else, but I will start by saying that I liked how the plot once again tip-toed the line between utterly ridiculous and heartfelt/serious. It gave me my long-awaited Battle Tendency vibes once again and I very much re-found my love for JJBA while reading this part, and a huge part of it was the mixture of high intensity with the more personal

I won't lie, but I make fun of this plotline a LOT. There's something very completely and utterly stupid about "the President of the United States is looking for the body of Jesus Christ, which is granting Stand abilities to randos" that never fails to put a smile on my face, and I think that Steel Ball Run succeeds with such a premise by playing it completely straight. I got invested. I got really used to it, and it was easy to digest. Because, also, for as out there as it seems it was actually very simple and straight to the point

I loved how character-centric this part was, too. How much of it centered on the shoulders of Johnny and Gyro and how they both had their own reasons outside of getting Lil' JC out of Valentine's hands, and how their worldviews affected one another--Gyro in particular became my favourite character very, very quickly, but Johnny also rose above to become one of my favourite Jojos, and only time will tell if I like him more than Joseph (but I think I might, actually)

First of all, I'm going to talk about Gyro, because he is legitimately a fantastic fucking character. Above all else I value his personality and mentality--I love that Gyro is the one who sees the beauty of the world and the worth of a life despite his position in Naples as a literal bringer of death, how he can care so much and have such a huge, open heart. How he is so stupidly ridiculous and his jokes make no sense, yet how, if you read between the lines, you realize he is deliberately acting the fool to pull Johnny out of his own head. I think Gyro is very emotionally intelligent, even if he has his own stupid moments of course, and he is the perfect contrast for Johnny

His selflessness is also calculated. He cares and loves, of course, but he knows when there's too much at risk to make a stupid move that could cost him everything; something that he actually does with Lucy after the fight with Blackmore, because he knows meddling with the fucking president could bite him hardcore, yet he still offers SOME sort of help. It also hurts how much he sticks by and believes in his moral compass and ideals and how, despite his beacon of light, these don't really transfer down to Johnny, even though it's VERY satisfying to see the way they both make compromises for one another

On the other side of the coin there's Johnny Joestar

I won't lie and say that I wasn't put off by Johnny at first, but he eventually really grew on me as I started to realize that he needed and fully intended to grow out of his initial state. And even then, Johnny doesn't really grow at all, he just recontextualizes his character in a way that becomes less isolating and harmful to others

Johnny is selfish, egoistical, and pessimistic. And he never stops being these things, but he makes way for more stuff, too. He gives up the corpse parts to get Gyro back out of selfish desire to still be with him, but he does help others when he can and does want to aid the people he cares about. He never stops wanting the corpse for his own selfish gain, but he helps Gyro once he realizes Gyro's goal is the epitome of selflessness. He slowly starts to believe in himself and his abilities, but he still falls to despair when things go wrong, or when he can't immediately think of an exit or solution. The balance of all these traits makes you realize Johnny didn't change, but rather that he is changing. He's not done growing yet, and Gyro was a huge part of that

The best part? Johnny knows it. He knows he's only just now started to grow, and he knows who inspired that growth, but he also still knows it's up to him to continue moving forward

These two's relationship was a joy to see develop. Yes, I ship it, but even beyond that it is impossible to deny that they both became important to each other. The growth of the relationship was fantastic and realistic. I could gush about how Gyro proved it to Johnny that he was still worthy of happiness, care, and companionship, or how Johnny gave Gyro some much needed emotional support despite the weight of his responsibilities. They were, above all else, best friends

Okay I gushed enough about my favourite parts but--

I did like the rest of the cast, too. My favourites were Diego, Hot Pants, and (unfortunately) Valentine. I liked the subversions going on with Diego and how we expected him to be truly evil just because of who he is, but he was actually kind of an anti hero. He did tell Johnny and Gyro to run away more often than not after all, and mostly wanted to get money and respect for his own needs/gain. Hot Pants I liked because of how she had her own agenda, and I really liked her not being quite an ally, but not an enemy either

Valentine... Valentine I liked because of his ability and personality. He is despicable and I truly hated him, but I think that's what he did right--he made himself despicable, and yet used his own charisma, position, and the utter belief he has in himself to paint himself as a (sort of) convincing beacon of hope and truth. He truly believed he was in the right and that he was the right person to carry the duty of storing the corpse away, he truly believed that he had figured the world out, he truly believed that the suffering and deaths of a few were perfectly acceptable against the suffering and deaths of millions

On top of that, I really loved how Valentine, thus far, has been the one and only villain to successfully be able to negotiate with a Jojo--and to actually make such a compelling argument that clicks with the personality of the Joestar he is speaking to that they believe him. Because I can't overstate just how intense and heartbreaking it was that Valentine spoke with such charisma and such heartless understanding of the situation at hand that he successfully dangled exactly what Johnny wanted and needed in front of his face--Gyro

What a refreshing take it was that the protagonist was so self-aware that he knew that, in a way, the villain's goals were worth more than his own. Valentine wanted to protect his people (or so he thought), while Johnny just wanted Gyro and his legs back. Selfless vs selfish. Of course we know that Valentine is a dick, but Johnny doesn't, and that's what made that final confrontation so painful to watch--because, also, Johnny had already accepted a deal like that already, so I genuinely didn't know if he was going to accept again or steel his resolve and let Gyro go

Easily one of my favourite final confrontations, ever. I think about it a lot. What great writing

I liked the application of mathematical stuff to Hamon and Stands, too. The infinite rotation, the golden ratio, and the spin were ridiculous and hard to follow, yeah, but they were also fun to watch and read about. That also opened the way for D4C to be a thing, honestly, since the multiverse was already explored in Stone Ocean and so much mathematical talk opened the doorway for it to not feel so out of nowhere

Other than that, I liked some characters here and there, and a lot of the arcs. I had a lot of fun overall if you can't already tell

What I didn't like

The darker tone of Part 7 is definitely a result of this series moving towards Seinen, and I don't regret it. I appreciate how it built upon the darkness set by Golden Wind and Stone Ocean. The problem is that I could have done without the REPEATED endangerment of Lucy as a character

We get it, it's fucked up. It's never glorified and it's always horrific. Her backstory with Stephen already puts a spin on it and subverts it in a way that I thought was clever and honestly refreshing, but when we get to Scarlet, Valentine, and then even DIEGO, like... did we have to do that? You've condemned the sexual harassment of this fourteen year old already via Stephen's motivation to protect her, so why do you repeat this as a threat over and over again? And then make her pregnant with Jesus Christ's corpse? God, that's a sentence that sounds batshit and awful in and out of context

But yeah. Lucy Steel, she deserved a lot better. I know what happened to her wasn't glamorized at all, but I wish we got less of it. It felt really gross

Final Thoughts

I loved, loved, LOVED Steel Ball Run. I was taken by surprise by how much I loved it and I am still awed that it actually dethroned Battle Tendency as my favourite part, but it absolutely deserved it. I laughed, I sobbed, I kicked my feet in excitement, I felt so many things with this part I hadn't felt since Battle Tendency, and for that I am so grateful to it for existing

Looks like I will join in with the rest of the fandom that says Steel Ball Run is peak Jojo and the best of Araki's writing thus far

I hope we see this part animated so I can get the emotional gut punches that it delivers but fully animated and voiced--voiced, especially. What a great journey it was to see Johnny grow as a person. What a great time I had. How fucking hilarious it is that Jesus Christ was the first Jojo ever

Next up is Jojolion. I'm not really sure what to expect, but I hope to have fun and I am excited to finally catch up, sans supplementary material. Thanks for coming, y'all

Let's go home

[witchwitchglam]

Me & TC

I had a teacher crush on high school. He was... a dream man. Important to say - he was a dream man to my past self.

He was so intelligent, smart, funny, had a fucking huge charisma (and also an ego), could be an arrogant asshole, but could also praise you. If you were a smart person - obviously by his measures.

I was so in love! He was sooo hot, and he possessed every character trait I admired. I was aiming to gain as many traits as he has. I was basically trying to become him.

When the school years were over, it was very hard to get over him. It really was. The crush lasted four long years and even after the first year I left high school, I felt somehow connected to him, I was still craving his presence.

It has been SEVEN fucking years now. I have been through a lot since then - feeling lost, going through a trauma (which I am going to resolve, but do not have any strength to do so yet) and a few minor burnouts. On the positive side - I am in a very happy, stable relationship with a fabulous man (who is SO different from my teacher crush) and I have come to the realization that I am a highly sensitive person.

The biggest issue in my inner world is my over-rationalization. For a long time, it was very hard for me to admit that I am a very sensitive person, who has emotions. Very strong emotions. Which was obviously a big issue in my teenage years because I felt a lot. And my mechanism to survive in a very complicated family environment was to act... normal. Zen. Balanced. Rational. Not causing any problems.

And now I tell you what happened.

My teacher crush was a role model to me. I wanted a man, who was so sassy, strong, smart, funny, intelligent as him. And I wanted to BE like him. To survive, to thrive in my life. It was not only that I wanted a role model to help me survive, but it could also be somebody who was probably strong enough to handle my little fragile self inside. He was my anchor.

It was completely toxic. Nowadays, I am trying to resolve the relationship with myself. I have the most supportive man I could ever imagine – so sensitive himself, so loving, full of care, so smart, so funny, so… warm. Ffs, I love him so much!

These days I am trying to tune in to my real needs, to express myself I have never expressed myself before – in front of the people I care about the most. I try to be my truest self. Now I see that despite my artistic expression back then and despite my tendency not to be “mainstream”, I was fooling myself into thinking that I am much stronger and put together than I really was.

It was all a coping mechanism – both my teacher crush and my mask that I was building – and that really did not work. These days I feel so authentic! So fragile, but… omg, I am so me.

However, my old teacher crush pops up in my brain from time to time (and he comes in my dreams, too). Why is that? I tend to see him as an anchor, again. But now, he is a different kind – the one that reminds me of my past self that was trying her best but ended up in a dream-based relationship with a man older than her parents (heh, my boyfriend is 18 years older than me, but this is a whole different story). He reminds me of my “logical”, highly controlled, trying-to-look-smart self, who appreciates intelligence and tries to be funny, charismatic, and likeable for all cost. A fake. A wannabe. Somebody trying to survive.

Now, I know that I AM smart, intelligent, funny, and charismatic – but only when I am highly myself, when I do not play any games. Still, I am trying to survive – omg, life is hard as hell. But I do not borrow any other personality to help myself overcome the obstacles.

I do it on my own terms.

[darkcircles4lyfe]

Death to All Might, Rebirth to Yagi Toshinori

So about All Might. I’ve been extremely wary of talking about what could happen to him because straight up saying “I don’t think he’s gonna die” is asking the universe to spite me. Plus it also feels like a room full of people turning to stare at me as if I said the Sun isn’t a star. Man has death flags everywhere, I know. 

But, okay, *Bill Nye voice* consider the following:

Mr. Yagi here, if he overheard everything, just received the final nail in the coffin on his career. His time as the symbol of peace is not only over, it was in fact partially responsible for the current state of things, since he once did so much on his own that his absence now makes heroes and civilians alike ill-prepared to cope. I think it was very apt for that one guy to be wearing an All Might shirt--he was acting as a mouthpiece for the latent societal problems embedded in All Might’s legacy. 

We know already that he’s been feeling useless. I love this scene and although I’m not gonna talk about it right this second, remember what Aizawa says about just “being here” being enough:

And we know from conversations with Inko that Toshinori is also reframed his purpose around looking after Izuku. But in the end, Izuku rejected his help, and it was his classmates instead who were able to save him. Now the very progress of humanity is rejecting him too. You may me wondering how on Earth I don’t see the logical conclusion of all this being his death. Hold on. It actually has a lot to do with the fact that we’re all expecting it. Nighteye himself saw it, and despite any contrary convictions anyone might have, the plot doesn’t seem to be veering away from that end. All Might Is Gonna Die, says absolutely everything. 

It’s occurring to me that I have previous experience with this kind of plotline that probably little to no one else in this fandom shares, being that I’ve read a certain book series in which the main character is told in no uncertain terms that he will die (no, I’m not talking about hp). The series in question is T*e Und*rland Chronicl*s (censoring so it doesn’t get put in their side of tumblr) and I’m sorry but I’m about to go on a shameless tangent about it and spoil the ending for you.

So in this series there is a prophecy in every book, each one having something to do with war and conflict, and so far all of them have been right. In the last book [mc] finds out that it’s prophesied that he will be killed. Lots of the things in the prophecies are convoluted and metaphorical, but no, this one literally says “when the [mc’s title] has been killed.” He spends the whole book coming to terms with this, and he gives into it, only to find himself waking up in the hospital instead. “Wow, plot twist. /s” you may be thinking, and yeah sure, the mc in a kids book survived, big shocker. But it doesn't end there. After the war, there are peace talks, but they escalate until the two sides are on the verge of declaring war again. And [mc], bless him, has just been caught in the middle of all of this the entire time. He’s sick as shit of fighting, of watching the suffering and death of people he cares about. He draws his sword against both of them angrily, gives a speech saying he won’t take a side, and then promptly breaks his sword across his knee: “There. [mc’s title in the prophecies] is dead. I killed him.” He’s giving a huge middle finger to everyone there, to the man who wrote the prophecies, to the entire fucked up culture of it all. And so something that was taken literally turns out to be metaphorical. That is, if you still believe in the prophecies at all.

Hopefully you’re catching my drift here. What I’m saying is, even though this other series has nothing to do with bnha, it goes to show sometimes it’s the most absolute certainties that are red herrings, and a “death” can consequently be a symbolic one. In All Might’s case, it could be the death of hero society and a rejection of his own past. In other words, character development for Toshinori himself that reflects on the way the world is changing, too. Also there’s the fact that the mc from that other series I’m trying not to name has an honorary title, and I’m imagining that role he occupied “dying” could correspond to something that amounts to, “All Might is dead. I (Yagi Toshinori) killed him.” 

And here’s another thing: we also have to ask ourselves what good a dead Toshinori is to Izuku, narratively speaking. Yes, Izuku has spent his whole life idolizing even the more toxic parts of All Might, and his idealized vision of his hero does need to “die.” But how about Toshinori as a father figure?  Izuku regretting that his last interaction with Toshinori was to reject his help may drive home the fact that he shouldn’t go off on his own, but at this point it’s kinda redundant. If anything it would negate some of the progress that was just made because it’d make him extra paranoid about losing other people too. To be honest, the whole “Uncle Ben” trope, the mentor/father figure who dies and gives the mc a reason to do better, is so tired. Experiencing the death of a loved one really doesn’t deserve to be romanticized like that. I might as well admit that I’m speaking from experience, and let me tell you, losing someone you love suddenly, when you weren’t around, and with unfinished business--it makes you paranoid as hell that it will happen again. It literally gives me nightmares. Y’all, I cannot stress enough that trauma does not equal character development. Granted, just because I know this doesn’t mean Horikoshi does, but in general he does seem to lead his characters toward healing.

Okay, back to the present. Toshinori is turning away from UA. He likely feels useless and rejected. We can infer that what happens next will involve Stain, and we have a couple of extra clues to go with it: Stain considers All Might a true hero, and has stated that he would let All Might kill him. And since Horikoshi loves his parallels, we also have this fight between Endeavor and this random villain who admires him so much that he wants to die by Endeavor’s hand:

This suggests a confrontation in which Stain challenges All Might to live up to himself as he once was, so that as a hero he can vanquish Stain and symbolically overcome society's perversion of that role. But based on what All Might has learned about the system he upheld, Stain is wrong. All Might is not a “true hero” in the sense that the societal issues Stain witnessed exist not in spite of All Might, but (in part) because of him, because he took too much of the responsibility for himself.

Stain probably had no idea about the personal cost of All Might’s lonely burden until after the fact. Maybe he’s seeing it now. So then perhaps the confrontation would be more about Stain claiming he’s just as fake as the rest. Either way, Toshinori has the opportunity to denounce himself and be rid of “All Might,”  to stop living in his own shadow. Nighteye’s vision has been defied before, and I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if the combination of society shifting + Toshinori’s own conviction is enough to do it again and work fate in his favor.

He is not All Might. He is Yagi Toshinori: quirkless, worn down, and directionless except for his dedication to Izuku. If he survives his interaction with Stain, he can resolve his imperfect mentorship by confessing about his shortcomings and simply supporting Izuku as a part of his family, not as his teacher (as Aizawa said, just “being there”). And that’s how you really get character development, for both of them. I mean, shit, imagine Toshinori straight up telling Izuku to stop calling him All Might.

[wonda-cat]

Misconceptions About Tommyinnit’s Character That Genuinely INFURIATE Me

Since the recent events following the second L’Manburg Festival and subsequent war, I’ve seen many, many hot takes surrounding the nature of Tommyinnit’s character on the SMP. Some of which annoyed me to the point where I felt compelled to sit down and actually write this. I’m going to only be highlighting the most common complaints or questions I’ve seen, one by one, in hopes of providing a better understanding of Tommy’s character for anyone interested. (I also briefly discuss Techno and Tubbo’s characters as well.)

If you’ve said similar things to what I’m going to be discussing below, please know that it’s perfectly understandable how you’d come to these conclusions. Some of these aspects of Tommy’s character are not always obvious; especially if being watched from another streamer’s POV. This may become quite lengthy, so bear with me for now.

“Tommy’s motives are all over the place. He can’t decide whether he wants the discs back or not.”

Tommy is actually one of the most motivationally consistent characters on the entire Dream SMP. Even Techno, someone completely confident in their ideals, does more motivational flipping than Tommy. From the very start of the story, Tommy has always cared for three things; L’Manburg, Tubbo, and his music discs. However, him caring for something is not itself a motivation. 

Surprisingly enough, his motivation isn’t even just, ‘Get my discs back,’ like many assume it is. Tommy’s one true motivation, since the end of the Independence War, has always been, ‘Keep things the way they are now.’ 

Tommy’s one fatal flaw is that he is resistant to change and refuses to let go of the past. This is seen through all of his actions and words; in all conflicts involving him. This flaw is the drive to all of Tommy’s mistakes. Burning down George’s house, an action which resulted in him getting exiled, was done out of a desire to pull pranks the way he used to before the first war. His friendship with Ranboo started because Tommy said he reminded him of Tubbo, back before he was President. 

Tommy still talks highly of Wilbur because he chooses to remember him as the wise, kind mentor who cared for him. This motive is the reason he defends L’Manburg so fiercely; it’s his memory of a better past. This is why he holds grudges more often than any other character; especially refusing to forgive Techno after he killed Tubbo during the Manburg Massacre.

It’s why Tommy falls under extreme distress whenever Tubbo or Quackity tell him that something will never be the same again. This motivation is entirely formed from an underlying desire for peace and comfort, something Tommy has been denied since being forced into a life wrought with war and death. To accept change, to Tommy, is painful and terrifying. But he will only ever truly be happy when he finally learns to let go.

“Why do the discs matter so much to Tommy? They’re not actually worth anything.”

Tommy’s discs are much more than just any ordinary pair of music discs. They were never important for their material worth, but for what Tommy was willing to sacrifice in order to keep them. Tommy is entirely what gives the discs their value. 

Tommy also commonly operates under the Sunk-Cost Fallacy, wherein he’s invested too much of himself into something to just abandon it, even if it’s causing him problems. This mentality is a huge piece of what keeps him tied to both L’Manburg and to his discs. He’s sacrificed too much at this point to simply let them go. If he admits the discs are worthless, then he’s admitting that he wasted all this time and effort, just to keep them.

The discs also act as a constant source of hope for Tommy because they are directly tied with his motivations as a character. They’re something he’s had since the very beginning. They’re something he used to listen to with Tubbo on their shared bench. 

To Tommy, they symbolize a life before war, filled with comfort and peace. They are a love letter to his country and his late mentor Wilbur. They are a physical representation of Tubbo’s companionship. They are the only thing, besides L’Manburg and his best friend, that gives him the hope that he can one day return things to the way they used to be. 

This ideal, paired with Tommy’s refusal to let go, has left him ruthlessly pursuing the things he’s lost. Not his music discs, but his peace and comfort, his friendship, his country, his mentor Wilbur, and his life before war.

In his desperation to hold onto his prized possession, it has only hurt and pushed away the people that love him. If Tommy continues to ignore this reality, while still refusing to resolve his major flaw entwined with it, he will lose all that the discs had once stood for. He will lose his country, then his friend Tubbo, and then he will lose himself.

“Tommy never grows or learns from his mistakes. This makes him a badly written character.”

Characters do not have to constantly learn from their actions to be well-written. Tommy is one of the best examples of this. The fact that his growth is infrequent is the entire point of his character; it’s completely stemmed from his fatal flaw. 

By addressing himself, he would be accepting change, something that terrifies him; something he stubbornly resists until he is absolutely forced to confront it. Contrary to popular belief, Tommy knows when he makes mistakes, but he pretends to be ignorant as to avoid facing reality. He digs his head in the sand despite knowing better, puppeteering the person he used to be during happier times, now gone.

In spite of his infrequent growth, the idea that Tommy still hasn’t learned anything isn’t quite correct either. Tommy, as of the last three plot streams, has shown incredible character development. By giving up his discs again, he had finally demonstrated that Tubbo is more important to him than his possessions. Speaking as a makeshift leader, he put aside his issues with others to rally them together against a common threat, something which Tommy had never been able to do before. He owned up to all of his mistakes openly, apologizing to everyone he’s ever hurt in one place. 

He apologized to Tubbo after they were reunited and came to terms with the fact that Tubbo was forced to exile him without choice, finally forgiving him. He was kind to Sapnap and learned how to be his friend after months of bitter rivalry. And these are only a few examples. This isn’t to say Tommy has overcome/fixed everything because he clearly hasn’t. There are still major things Tommy needs to work through that remain unaddressed, the biggest being his complicated relationship with Technoblade.

“Tommy only cares about himself. He does everything in his power to be the hero, always putting himself in the center of attention, especially during Doomsday.”

Tommy, since the start of the L’Manburg War for Independence, has never set out to be a hero. Not once. He may fall into the role of the protagonist, but his identity as a hero was pushed onto him by others. Giving up the discs was his only option during the Independence War. 

So when Wilbur called him a hero for it, Tommy said he didn’t feel like he was. During the November 16th War, Tommy again said he didn’t feel like a hero because he had lost what he thought was everything at the time. During exile, Tommy certainly knew he was no hero. And upon reuniting with Tubbo, he admitted to feeling like the farthest thing from it. That he’d hurt everyone and all he wanted to do now was fix it. 

The day before Doomsday, Tommy only took a leadership position because no one else was willing to, filling the role for Tubbo, who was crumbling under pressure. He had no choice but to try to bring everyone together, or fight alone. Most viewers never saw this during Doomsday, but before the battle, almost everyone who had vowed to fight alongside L’Manburg had abandoned them the very next day. They were convinced it was going to be destroyed either way, no matter what they did, so they chose not to see it through to the end; ultimately leaving Tommy and those who remained to fight a losing battle, alone. 

After about a third of the way through the battle, it became clear to everyone that they could do nothing to win. One by one, everyone stopped fighting and stood by to watch their country go up in smoke. Tommy was the only person on the battlefield who refused to stand down and give up. And so he took over the role as leader again, trying his best to keep them alive, to keep Tubbo hopeful; to keep fighting, no matter what. 

However, what most people don’t realize, is that this isn’t Tommy trying to be a hero or force himself into the spotlight. This is Tommy trying to convince himself to keep going. Because whenever things start to look hopeless, Tommy simply chooses to ignore them. He puts on a happy face and soldiers through it because that’s all he knows how to do. Tommy, at his core, is someone who wants peace through stagnation. He doesn’t want to fight, although causing the occasional friendly conflict is how he finds fun. He doesn’t set out to purposely hurt others. 

Tommy may come across as self-centered, but this is because he is an extremely extroverted character. He finds energy and joy in the attention of others, both good and bad. It’s why he’s always seeking the approval of others and, oftentimes, will destructively insert himself into another person’s life in order to find it. 

Out of every character in the story, Tommy is the most drawn to praise and positive reinforcement. He is constantly seeking out mentors and friends because Tommy needs someone else to help him feel confident in his own identity and abilities. It’s why Wilbur was such a positive influence on him. His boisterous confidence has always been a front because if anyone were to actually hurt him, he knows it will make his self-esteem crumble instantly. 

This is part of why Dream’s manipulation was so effective against him. By isolating him, he’s left without energy and looking to another person’s guidance. Tommy outwardly may seem independent and rude, but just under the skin, he’s unconfident and lost when he’s by himself. Tommy will only grow from this flaw when he finds his own identity and inner confidence; when he finally learns to be okay with being alone.

“Tommy goes to the festival solely to get his disc back and then tells Tubbo to give it away immediately after. That doesn’t make any sense.”

Before the screaming match between the two friends during the second L’Manburg Festival, Tommy had been in exile, manipulated by Dream for long enough to lose his will to carry on. It is because of him that Tommy’s reality becomes distorted, long after fleeing from his abuser. This mangling of ideals leads Tommy to subconsciously believe that L’Manburg and Tubbo are unsalvageable. 

Therefore, the only thing he has hopes of retrieving are his discs, which are easier to manage than the latter two things. And so Tommy does reprehensible things at the behest of Techno in a vain hope of getting them back, going so far as to kidnap and torture for them. This ultimately culminates in a confrontation between the ex-friends, quickly turning violent. It is in this violence that we see Tommy has sunk to his absolute lowest point in his journey. 

Swinging his axe, he nearly kills his friend as he delivers a string of words that cause the room to silence instantly. He says the discs were always worth more than his friend. Within the quiet of the room, Tommy is forced to reflect on everything he’s done. How he kidnapped and tortured Connor. How he accidentally drowned Fundy. How he traumatized Ranboo. 

And now he’s hurt Tubbo, the one person he has always sought to protect; someone he vowed to never hurt. This realization causes Tommy to break. He’s so ashamed of himself that he can’t look at anyone. Tommy knows now that he is worse than anyone he’s ever hated. 

With pain in his voice, he tries and fails to apologize to Tubbo in the moment. The only way he knows to redeem himself now is to prove to Tubbo, after everything, that he can still put the discs aside. And so he does.

“The fact that Tommy is still trying to get his discs back after L’Manburg was destroyed is unreasonable and ridiculous.”

Tommy deals with grief in an interesting way, doing something very similar to Techno. His grief almost instantly becomes anger and a drive to prove himself. It morphs into a need for vengeance in response to injustice, always. 

After the destruction of L’Manburg, Tommy saying he wants the discs back is a double-sided motivator. The obvious side being: Tommy still needs them to feel comfort. The subtle side beneath it: Tommy is using them as an excuse to find Dream and kill him. To make him pay for helping destroy their home, hurting his friends, and abusing him in exile. 

Upon the loss of his home, I’d also argue the discs have only grown more important to Tommy in the aftermath. Typically, in grief, people hold onto things that survive devastation far more than if the tragic event never occurred. If your eldest child dies, one may hold their surviving children tighter. If your house burns down, one may deeply treasure a box of items that survived the flames. Tommy’s desperation after losing so much is entirely understandable.

On top of this, the discs are still the core to Tommy’s fatal flaw. They are what keeps him from achieving total happiness, so him getting over this intrinsic part of himself so easily would make for an unsatisfying character arc. He still has to work for his happiness in order to change for the better. 

To add, I’ve seen a lot of people complaining that Tommy is still prioritizing the discs over Tubbo, especially in that moment. And while I mostly agree, there are some interactions that stand out to me as being different between the pair that may imply otherwise. Tommy says a few times that despite L’Manburg being destroyed, he still has something left to lose; each time, turning to look at Tubbo. 

This subtly implies that losing Tubbo would be as devastating as losing his home. Tubbo also never voices disagreement over Tommy’s continued pursuit of the item. However, Tubbo frequently does what he thinks will make others happy, so this doesn’t implicitly mean support for Tommy either. Besides these two things, this is still Tommy’s fatal flaw shining through, continuing to hurt others around him. 

I only hope Tubbo can learn to stand up for himself and voice his real thoughts to Tommy now, after everything. It would provide at least some desperately-needed closure for Tubbo’s character.

“How could Tommy betray Techno like that? Techno told him upfront what he was going to do.”

While it’s true that Techno was obvious about his plans, Tommy was also just as upfront with Techno about what he thought of it. In fact, maybe even more so, considering Techno attempted to hide them from Tommy for a good portion of their partnership. Whenever Techno brought up the idea of destroying L’Manburg or hurting Tubbo, Tommy would always remind Techno that he didn’t want to hurt anyone. And that if Techno ever did, Tommy would be there to stand in his way. He never once stopped saying this. 

Tommy’s two major positive character traits have always been his undying loyalty and his strength to never give up, even in the face of death. Two classically heroic qualities, both of which, ironically, reinforce his fatal flaw. His refusal to change makes him stubborn; stubbornness being the only quality that makes unwavering loyalty and extreme persistence feasible. 

Because of these two traits, it was impossible from the start for Dream to completely break Tommy’s spirit and for Techno to get him to agree to anything too extreme. Despite this, Techno already had no hope of keeping Tommy on his side after the events of the day before the Festival. During it, Tommy had asked multiple times for Techno to give his word not to hurt anyone. That they’d only threaten to spawn a wither, get Techno’s remaining weapons in exchange, then leave. That’s it.

Techno avoided directly promising Tommy but still agreed not to regardless. So when Techno chose to spawn the wither anyway, despite Tommy urging them to leave multiple times, whatever trust Tommy had with him went completely out the window. Thus, when the threat was finally real, that Techno would make due on his promise to burn his home country to the ground and slaughter his friends, Tommy intervened. It would be unreasonable to expect Tommy not to stand against him in that moment, especially after his mental breakdown which ensued as a result of him nearly killing his best friend. 

Adding salt to the wound on Tommy’s end, Techno decided to also align himself with Dream, someone Techno knew Tommy was afraid of. This might have been a way to purposely hurt Tommy. More likely, it was because Dream and him shared a common goal in the moment and Techno desperately needed allies.

However, the implication of Techno siding with Tommy’s abuser most certainly hurt him, regardless of its original intentions. This is possibly why Tommy kept insisting through Doomsday that Techno betrayed him, avoiding actually telling anyone the reason as to why. If he couldn’t find the words to describe what Dream did to him, even to Tubbo, he certainly wouldn’t be able to tell Techno either.

“Techno gave Tommy everything, only to be repaid with betrayal.”

This statement regarding Tommy is the one I see most often. (It is also the one I get the most heated about.)

Dream’s character is well known for his manipulation tactics against other characters; pitting them against each other, crushing them under his heel, bending their will to conform to his own. It’s what makes him an interesting villain. It’s something fun to discuss. 

But is it still fun to discuss manipulation tactics if they’re so subtle, almost no one notices them? This is the paradigm Technoblade’s character falls into. While people know Techno for his laid-back personality, dry humor, and complex motivations, many fail to recognize him as a manipulator. The reason why this is so hard to spot is because it is mostly unintentional on behalf of the character. Dream performs his craft with intention, Techno does it without realizing. 

As well as this being unwitting, it is sandwiched between Techno’s actual attempts to connect with Tommy and care for him. Thus, making the manipulation feel less damaging. The only problem is, this still hurts Tommy just as much, regardless of the intentions behind it. Especially after just escaping Dream, Tommy’s reality and sense of identity are horribly distorted. In this vulnerable state, he desperately needs healing and someone to help ground him. This is what makes him even more susceptible to Techno’s influence. 

And because it is much subtler, it is harder to notice, and much harder to break free from. Despite Tommy claiming to hate Techno for what he did on November 16th, he still chose to flee to his house because it was the only place he could think of going, as well as being the safest area possible. After the failed execution, Techno mentioned potentially hurting Tubbo through a vengeance plot. Tommy voiced extreme distress over this, to which Techno threatened to kick him out of his house. 

Tommy then says he’s fine being homeless because he doesn’t want anything to do with someone who would hurt his friend. This is when Techno decides to weaponize Tommy’s own trauma against him. To be fair to Techno again, Tommy never told him the extent of the abuse he suffered in exile. But Techno isn’t stupid. He knows Tommy is extremely afraid of Dream, and for good reason. 

So he tells Tommy that if he were kicked out, he’d be defenseless. That if he were out there all alone, Dream would find him very easily. That Dream would drag him right back to Logstedshire in an instant. He notices the way Tommy reacts to this, how quickly he changes his mind about being kicked out. He continues to use this trauma repeatedly in order to keep Tommy under his roof, no matter how disagreeable he gets about Techno’s plans. He knows he can’t retrieve his weapons alone because he has no leverage. 

Therefore, using Tommy like a wild card was a major side strategy. Techno knows it will hurt Tubbo by doing this and may make the President more willing to compromise. In addition to this, many of the strategies Techno utilizes are Narcissistic manipulation tactics, categorized by their intent to keep the victim in a position below the abuser in terms of worth. This includes Techno using the silent treatment as a punishment, something which hurts Tommy since he craves affection from others. 

He also attempts to isolate Tommy by telling him he doesn’t need anyone else; that everyone abandoned him during exile (something which Dream has also said.) He tells Tommy that he’s only alive because Techno is there to defend him and supply for him, as well as constantly reminding Tommy to not let any compliments he receives get to his head. These are both meant to make Tommy depend more on Techno and doubt his own abilities. Techno also occasionally engages in subtle gaslighting, attempting to sow doubt in Tommy’s mind about his relationships with Tubbo, Quackity, Ranboo, and Fundy. 

It’s also vital to keep in mind what exactly separates Dream and Techno in this regard. The most important thing being that Techno actually does care about Tommy. He trusts him and wants to earnestly help him. He knows Tommy has been traumatized and abused in some way, but he doesn’t know how to help because he’s not that great with people. It also doesn’t help that Tommy is unable to tell anyone what happened. 

In the end, Techno really does want to be a shield for Tommy. Despite debating handing Tommy over to Dream, it’s more likely Techno was using this as bait for Dream to waste his favor on something useless. After all, he could always save Tommy, should he ask for him to. Techno’s warnings about Tubbo and L’Manburg also come from a place of love, as Techno was personally hurt by them and wants to protect Tommy by telling him to leave it behind. However, just because something is done out of love, doesn’t mean it’s automatically helpful or good for someone. 

There’s no better example of this than in Techno’s most damaging and frequently used tactic: ‘Buy Their Love,’ a technique commonly used on children by narcissistic parents. At first glance, nothing seems wrong. Techno gives Tommy most things he asks for; providing him with food, gifts, protection, and a place to sleep. The manipulation within this arises when the act of kindness is counted as a debt against the person who receives it. That by receiving so many good things, they would be ungrateful to go against their abuser. Doesn’t matter if they emotionally or physically hurt you, they gave you gifts, so you should shut your mouth and allow the abuse to continue. 

Whenever Tommy speaks out against Techno’s violent actions or his plans to hurt his friends, Techno would frequently bring up all his ‘good deeds.’ He consistently reminds Tommy that he could’ve just thrown him back to Dream, but he was too kind. That he went out of his way to give him gear, food, and a roof over his head. That he was kind so Tommy should be quiet and let Techno plot to hurt the people he loves. Or else he’s selfish and ungrateful. Or else Techno will take all of his gifts back and leave him with nothing.

Knowing this, it is horrifying seeing people justifying this behavior by mocking Tommy’s character and calling him ungrateful using this very same fallacy. (Especially for those who grew up being controlled by this very tactic.) 

It is through knowing Techno’s use of the ‘Buy Their Love,’ method that makes Tommy’s, ‘I am worthy,’ response, not one of betrayal, but one of triumph. This moment is a major positive character change for Tommy for many reasons. When Tommy decides to stand against Techno, this causes him to fall back on his most reliable tactic. He insults Tommy and then asks for the Axe of Peace back. Instead of caving, Tommy refuses. 

By keeping the Axe of Peace, Techno’s final gift to him, he is not only rejecting the destruction of all he loves, but he is breaking free from Techno’s manipulation. He says, ‘I am worthy,’ because now he knows his own self-worth. He doesn’t need Techno or Dream to decide it for him. This moment is Tommy finally breaking free from not just Techno, but Dream as well. He is finally free.

“Tommy was only using Techno and never thought of him as a friend.”

Tommy and Techno’s relationship is complicated, which is why pretending only one side was in the wrong isn’t entirely accurate. Their friendship, in summary, is tragic when fully examined; being doomed from the start. Techno and Tommy are brought into conflict often because they are simultaneously so similar and so different. Techno and Tommy both deal with grief in the same way. They both long for a life of peace and comfort. They each long for companionship, hold their ideals in kind, and are both naturally resilient in the face of adversity. 

Yet, their personalities and courses of action are polar opposites. What makes this friendship one of tragedy is the fact that not just Techno, not just Tommy, but both of them, actually thought the other was their friend. They had each wanted to be the other’s friend since the day they’d met. Tommy never stopped wanting to impress Techno and get on his good side, even if his methods annoyed the target of his affections. Him calling Techno ‘The Blade’ was never meant to dehumanize him; it was a title of adoration. 

Along the same spectrum, Techno is a character who generally longs for friendship, but pretends not to after a lifetime of hurt. He’s been burned too many times, and so he chooses to stay alone. Techno is generally very reclusive and awkward around others, so when he likes someone or cares for them, it’s noticeable from a mile away. Their friendship has a very brotherly dynamic, and the fact that Techno allowed him to stay in his house, implies Tommy is a step above pretty much everyone else but Phil. Putting up with Tommy’s shenanigans is itself a sign of affection. 

However, when their goals come into conflict and the two start to drift apart, they deal with this in massively different ways. With Tommy devastated and enraged, and with Techno withdrawn and hurt, once more burned by someone he slowly learned to trust. They were once both friends, neither one was pretending. Yet, both of them thought their companionship was unreciprocated. 

On top of this, both Techno and Tommy were using each other. Techno used Tommy to get his weapons back by manipulating and lying to him. Tommy used Techno to protect him from Dream and get his discs back. They each hurt the other and refused to listen, both shouting valid complaints at the other that they refused to hear. 

Their relationship is also deeply affected by the themes of vengeance in the current arc, which is something I haven’t seen many people talk about. Most of the current conflicts this past month have resulted from characters being unable to forgive, resorting to revenge as a way to cope with loss. L’Manburg was the first to initiate this, through the influence of Quackity. The Butcher Army was formed to punish Techno for a war crime he committed. And while this is perfectly reasonable, what isn’t is the way the incident was orchestrated. It was an unchecked abuse of power to execute someone without a fair trial, as well as punishing Phil, who was not involved whatsoever. 

This was also particularly unfair to Techno, as many projected their anger at Wilbur onto him. Even Tommy did this, finding himself unable to blame his late mentor, so Techno was the next best option for him. However, it was Techno’s response to this that was interesting. He chose a path of vengeance, the same way L’Manburg did, after vowing to live his life as a pacifist. By doing this and following through, he hurt everyone, not just the people he claimed needed to pay for their actions. 

Instead of just picking the weed in the garden, he set the entire flower bed on fire. Through L’Manburg’s destruction, he gets what he wants. He destroys their government, but he also scars the earth and shatters the sky. He leaves uninvolved people homeless, deeply hurting Ranboo, Eret, and especially Ghostbur. Philza turns to vengeance as well, taking his anger at the death of his son out on people who do not deserve it. 

Tubbo, a day before the second Festival, was given another chance to seek revenge when Techno had spawned a wither on their land. Instead, all Tubbo could say was, ‘We do nothing … It’s pointless, vengeance. It’s poisonous.’ By doing this, he has managed to be a bigger person than even Techno was, with the strength and maturity to turn the other cheek. And now with Tommy’s plan to kill Dream, the conflict continues to escalate; only ending where forgiveness begins. 

It’s sad to think, if Techno didn’t choose a path of vengeance and Tommy was strong enough to tell Techno how he really felt, the two might have remained friends. Who knows? Maybe they still can.

“Tommy was the one in the wrong. Techno was right to destroy L’Manburg.”

Techno is a lovely character. He’s well-written, engaging, funny. He has many values and quirks that are generally relatable and interesting. His motives are deeply understandable and sympathetic. And yet, he is perfectly capable of being evil, in just the same way that Tommy can be deeply flawed despite being the protagonist. 

I’m sure most people already know that Technoblade is a villain. Or more accurately, a tragic antagonist. Techno (the streamer) knows he is and he’s having fun playing that part. Just because a character is morally in the wrong doesn’t mean their values and ideology don’t have merit. The best character I could compare Techno to is Thanos. 

They have completely valid concerns and points, but it is the way in which they go about achieving their goals that makes them into evil people. And despite this, many will still agree with them, even after they do something reprehensible. Contrary to popular belief, Technoblade’s tendency towards violence isn’t a good thing, no matter how you look at it. Even Techno himself knows this, that’s why he decided to reform and become a pacifist with Phil. He was not a good influence on Tommy, on top of also manipulating him. 

Techno caving to hatred and vengeance makes him no different to the resolve of the Butcher Army that pursued him. It is precisely the fact that he went on to destroy the home of not just Tommy, but also Ranboo and Ghostbur, that puts him in the wrong. He is allowed to despise all government and remove himself from it, but the moment he decided to insert himself into someone else’s country and take their home from them in order to destroy it, he abandoned an integral principle to his own values. 

This principle being: ‘Choice.’ The act of letting others be free to decide what they want for themselves. It is a huge component to the concept of anarchy, the freedom to choose. And yet Techno robbed this from, not just the ruling powers that hurt him, but individuals who were not even involved in the first place. He justifies this by saying it’s for their own good, that he’s helping; while acting in a self-serving manner. 

In his anger, he became the punisher, stooping lower than L’Manburg has ever gone. There is also the issue of Dream weaponizing Techno to destroy the one thing that has been a thorn in his side since the very start, manipulating Techno’s grief to achieve his goals. Tommy’s biggest sin in the Doomsday War was standing up to Techno and getting in the way of him hurting his friends and destroying his home. 

This isn’t to say Tommy is perfect, because he still hurt everyone he ever loved. But the only way he knew to redeem himself was to fight for what he knew was right. And so he chose to fight alongside his best friend, Tubbo. However, just because Techno is in the wrong doesn’t mean others are wrong for wanting to side with him, or by finding joy in his ruthlessness. The biggest appeal of Techno is the fact that he opposes people like Tommy. 

He knows how to put people in their place and it’s satisfying to watch. Some people love rooting for villains and it’s entertaining to see a being with so much power crush everyone else down so effortlessly. Especially because it’s so easy to sympathize with Technoblade. Sympathetic villains are the best kind; where they have understandable motivations, relatable flaws, people they love, and something they can lose. Dream is a villain you love to hate. Technoblade is a villain you hate to love. Simple as. 

Despite the destruction of L’Manburg being either devastating or fantastic depending on who you are, there is one major good it has done. It has pushed Tommy more towards the completion of his character arc. By losing one of the three things he loves, it will be impossible for him to pretend any longer. He will be forced to confront reality very soon. It all depends on whether Tubbo will have to die first for him to finally see it.

[kangen-wanshi]

Hi! May I request Bebin’s reaction to s/o putting almost too much effort into confessing (but he’s known for a while) and how the relationship blossoms? S/o usually being cool and confident but becoming oh so shy and flustered around him :3 Thank you!!!

"May I?"

Character(s): Bebin x Reader (Ousama Ranking; King's Ranking)

Warning: It's uh, Long.. I may have gotten a bit too into it. But it's most soft silent pinning! So none really, if there's any please remind me!

Note: Anon you made me head over heels for this man even more...

——

• Let's start off by the story as to how you meet him.

• You're Queen Hiling's only Lady in waiting, one who works as both her personal body guard and helper next to Dorshe. As he is the Queen's shield, you acted as her prideful protective blade.

• Which made it possible for you to be of acquaintance with the Big Four, including Bebin himself.

• Becoming the Queen's Blade means that you'd be asked to befriend Prince Bojji, not that you haven't tried yet. The boy was simply too timid and too scared to approach you due to your nature.

• But as he grew, he seems to be growing more comfortable with you. After seeing how great of a friend you are to his step mother as his mentor, (albeit he's still a bit intimidated by your overall personality, he have learned that you're still somewhat kind inside).

• Talk about the Prince, you clearly don't favour Bojji over Daida. Just as much as you're willing to look after the first born, you're also willing to assist the son of your Queen as best you could.

• And just as how you're able to befriend Domas through Bojji, you're able to befriend Bebin through Daida.

• —Which are obviously not your only objective. Sure you've been curious about the black dressed individual ever since your promotion as the Queen's Blade, but it doesn't mean that you'd use Prince Daida's training as an excuse to have a conversation with him.

• .. Or is it?

• You're not sure when or even how you've come to possess such interest to him. You're pretty sure the first time it was simply fascination and admiration, not some.. Silly crush that you're contemplating your life choice over.

• The way he'd greet you with a small smirk (or smile?) That formed under his moustache, the way he'd wield his sword proudly when he's sparring you, not underestimating your capability by one bit despite your difference in rank, how he would gently offer you a damp towel after a training session with Prince Daida, or perhaps how gracefully he is when tending to those snakes secretly behind the bushes.

• It's hard to tell. His expression is difficult to read as it's often filled with many thoughts behind it. Which, you're sure that you're no part of.

• Then again, what's wrong with having a small, yet huge attraction to one of your coworker?

• No one notices this, sadly. Not even Daida who's often in the spectating seat of your interaction with Bebin. You've become a figure of pride, confident and strength to him after all, it's hard for him to imagine you'd fall head over heels for his mentor.

• But fortunately, your Queen picked up on your feelings much quicker than anyone else could.

• She's been there -in love, that is. She knows the lovestruck looks, the silent blushes and the way your entire aura shifted when you're sparring with her son's mentor.

• So then what else can she do but confront you, really? You've done so much for her, sacrificed your personal romantic life to protect hers. Best she can do is to give you romantic advices.

• First time she admit that she knows made you flushed deep red. Your composure melts down in front of your Queen as she lightly giggle watching you plead her not to be too loud.

• Internally, she still can't believe you'd act so flustered like so after all that boasting and flashing your blade to your opponent that is.

• But she's not judging. She knows you like to show the world how strong you are after all. Even if that's at the cost of your timid inner self.

• Frankly, Bebin also knows about this.

• He's observant of everyone, obviously. He's had at least one snake to follow each of his comrades to make sure none of them are planning mischief behind Prince Daida's back.

• So first time hearing from his reptile companion that you've shifted your behaviour when talking about him to Her Highness is.. Certainly was a surprise.

• Bebin may be observant but he's not gonna go as far as to actually know that you have such side to yourself. "Shame," he thought to himself that he wasn't able to personally witness this hidden side of you.

• But nonetheless, the context of your conversation with Queen Hiling made him raised an eyebrow.

• You? Being flustered when being confronted about your feelings on him? Oh what could this possibly mean?

• Yeah he's.. He's definitely aware of it in an instant. You're not someone who would lie about such personal feelings to someone you've bond so close over. So the talk you had with Hiling about your admiration towards him was taken 100% seriously.

• Now he wonder what should he do with it though?

• He somewhat made it his personal side quest to see this new side of you himself instead of through his snake's hisses.

• The touches becoming more frequent, the knuckles brushing against each other was noted to his brain, the gentleness he gave through his calloused hands were pressed softly on your bandaged skin whenever he treats your wound.

• Safe to say he's kinda enjoying the teasing. Now that he's got his attention to you by 1000%, the slightest shift in your behaviour was noted to him.

• Oh he's loving it a bit too much.

• Though he doubted you'd confess to him on your own accord. Despite your somewhat adorable loving side, he still doesn't perceived you as someone who would let their personal feelings be mixed with your work life -especially as someone who's as important as the Queen's Blade.

• But your silent confession surprises him nonetheless:

——

"I love you," you silently muttered through your lips as you look down onto the ground. Your back is leaning against the tree behind you as Bebin stood next to you.

Ahead of you both are Mitsumata who's diligently training Bojji, both of you hidden under the shade of the trees, his dark eyes are fixated on the first born while yours are fixated on the grass beneath you.

You had planned this; not really. The plan that Queen Hiling had offered you is that you confessed to him in a place where the two of you had spent much time with. One which you questioningly replied with "The training ground?" Which she immediately smack you off with.

She had told you that she'll summon Bebin's attendance to aid you in cleaning her garden. A weird request, you noted her, but she told you that there's no other place more romantic nor suitable for a confession other than the white palanquin inside the castle's walls.

That was the plan. To confess your admiration and feelings there, not here.

So why?

Well perhaps the way the gentle light seeps through between the leaves, falling onto his dark aesthetic have made you lost your train of thought.

Perhaps your thought at the moment, had spur to the one where you just wish you can finally let go of these feelings. The wishes where you had dreamt of finally holding his hand fully in yours. One where you wished you'd be able to wrap your arms around him just how he would wrap his around your waist.

Your daydream was broken by the sudden train of doubt. What if you had become a fool? What're the odds that Bebin would most likely prioritize Daida's growth over your feelings? Hell, does he even feel the same way?

"I'm.. I'm sorry, that.. Came out of nowhere. I didn't mean t—"

"You would not let me reply to it?"

".. Pardon?" You look up to him, only to find that his raven eyes had been pulled away from Bojji, now staring back to you. Eyes slightly clouded by his bangs yet the reflection of the sun seems clear as you stare back up to him. "I.. Well I suppose I'd like to hear your.. Reply, about my confession."

Rejection is better than nothing, after all. Hopefully it'd let you move on better if he's said it through his lips.

"Well if it tickle any of your fancy, I do find myself reciprocate your feelings," he said it as a matter of factly, as he now find himself standing in front of you with his back towards the now forgotten training of Bojji and Mitsumata.

"Wait.. What? You do? You..—" once again, you can't really find yourself preventing the red creeping up to your cheek. Instinctively, you put up your hand to cover your face and immediately snapped your gaze away from him. Often used to being seen as someone confident; you're not ready for him to see this side of you yet.

Though to your surprise, he immediately grabbed your hand and gently pulled it away from your face. Finding his other hand now softly holding you by the side of your neck as he crane your face upwards.

"Mm.. You're not very subtle, even if you try to be," he chuckled. And God that chuckle. He knows exactly what he's doing when his scarred thumb gently caresses your cheek. "The confident and prideful Queen's Blade.. I wouldn't have ever dream of you becoming so.. Small, and timid, when it doesn't involve swords and fighting."

And with a gentle pull by your waist, he whispered to your lips with his moustache slightly tickling your cheek,

"May I?"

——

• Mitsumata dragged Bojji away from the training ground early that day <3. While the deaf little boy look at the three headed snake questioningly, he doesn't even want to inquire the details to the boy.

• Anyways, Bebin didn't tell you that he knows about your feelings all this time. Finding it rather inappropriate actually, the fact that he have his snake following everyone and report back to him.. Maybe that one is going to be his own little secret still.

• But now the slight touches means more than it did before.

• His hand lingers on you often when the two of your are in public or in the presence of the Royal. Often he'd hold you on the lower of your back. Subtle, and no one would suspect anything, but the warmth he sent down your spine with the gentle rub of his thumb is honestly all the comfort you need.

• In private he'd tease the living shit out of you <3

• Definitely will tease you with a smirk and a chuckle whenever you're acting 'out of character' when with him. You confessed that he's the only one permitted to see this side of you (with Queen Hiling sometimes as an exception). He takes a bit of pride in that.

• He loves you, he do, but he wishes to reveal the depth of your relationship to everyone after the matter of Prince Daida and Bojji had completed. Or easy to say, until the situation grows to a time of peace.

• He's a warrior, and so are you, his protectiveness grows 1000% after you two had become close. He doesn't even hesitate to carry you or openly show his concern in front of other when you returned wounded.

• Overall he'd be very loving still. Very touchy in private, but will never tolerate heavy PDA in public, and is glad that you somewhat have similar idea. The two of you are warriors. No matter how close or how affectionate you two are, if being slightly distance in public may protect the other from danger, you'd do it.

• After all, when the situation had calmed and the position of King had been settled, he wishes to be open about your relationship to the big Four and her Highness as well as the princes.

• As much as he enjoys the silent exchanging look of affection, he can't wait to be able to have your arm linked with his own, proudly calling you his and you calling him yours in front of everyone <3.

[dungoubaystrogs]

Me overanalysing BSD WAN again? Me overanalysing BSD WAN again.

So this scene takes place after a huge bodyswap ordeal, but for context the main feature to note is that Atsushi is in Dazai's body and Dazai is in Ranpo's body at the moment.

I found it interesting that even though Dazai is essentially referring to himself in this scene, he says "you still don't look like him" instead of the more fitting "you still don't look like me." What also caught my attention was how Dazai openly suggests that Atsushi ought to "seem more chill" and "smile more."

So, I've read No Longer Human, which is arguably the main book that the character of Dazai was based on. As well as this, the novel is actually semi-autobiographical; meaning that the protagonist of the story is also largely based around the real life Dazai Osamu, his way of thinking and his own experiences; which perhaps results in Dazai having the closest resemblance to his real life counterpart (only close, of course not 100% accurate.)

The first part of the book centres primarily around the protagonist, Oba Yozo, and his early years and experiences with the world. He is presented from the beginning of the story as an outcast, and having a very elaborate and isolated mindset even since childhood. If you know anything about the book itself, you probably know that Yozo often compares himself to a "clown."

"This was how I happened to invent my clowning.

It was the last quest for love I was to direct at human beings. Although I had mortal dread of human beings I seemed quite unable to renounce their society. I managed to maintain on the surface a smile which never deserted my lips; this was the accommodation I offered to others, a most precarious achievement performed by me only at the cost of excruciating efforts within." (p26)

Because this account is told in a first person narrative, it is typical that we gain access to the main character's inner thoughts, and certain things they leave unspoken, which also enhances the authenticity of the "autobiography". Here, Yozo is extremely self-aware, admitting to much of his initial personality to merely be a sort of deception; an attempt to appeal to society despite his very distant true nature as essentially a human reject.

Linking this back to this WAN scene and Dazai's character as a whole, it explains why he (albeit in a different body) still dissociates himself with his own face, referring to the image in third person as if it's just a fleeting object he is unfamiliar with or does not recognise (perhaps even refuses to), and consciously providing "tips" for Atsushi to imitate him more convincingly as if he is fully aware that he's presenting himself this way; because Dazai's light-hearted and relaxed personality is based on one that isn't real; which possibly implies that it isn't completely real in the series either, particularly his behaviour around the Armed Detective Agency and Odasaku; he wants those characters to like him; whereas he seems much more genuine towards characters like Mori or Chuuya; there's something a lot more genuine about what he says to them - snide and malicious but more genuine nonetheless - because that's who he truly is and that's what he's truly like.

I'm not calling him an outright monster or saying he's better off in the Port Mafia (despite how that seems to be a reccuring debate within this fandom every once in a while) nor am I saying that everything he says and acts towards the ADA and Oda are completely fabricated. In my personal opinion, the Detective Agency is actually a better place for him because his instinctively ruthless nature is either discouraged or used in a way that both benefits himself as well as other people. We also get to see glimpses of his more authentic side in how he messes with Kunikida and to some extent Atsushi, however comparing his treatment of them to how he treated Chuuya and Akutagawa in his Port Mafia days, there's still quite a difference (Akutagawa and Atsushi's case is much more obvious but with Chuuya and Kunikida, Dazai's remarks and actions seem far more tame and less psychologically manipulative with the latter than they used to be with Chuuya; I could go into it more but the bottom line is that Dazai messes with Kunikida more or less for the hell of it whereas he sees Chuuya as more of a rival or threat that he needed to constantly prove himself better than).

This change in attitude towards figures that more or less fulfill roles he has encountered before proves that working on the opposite side than he was before is largely benefitting him; he's in general a much better person, and it is only with time that this change in attitude will gradually become less of an act.

[psychotakublabs]

“Through the Looking Glass Ruins” definitely gave us more Lumity than we all expected and the B-plot of Amity and Luz’s story in this episode was written very well. Their awkward interactions and new found feelings for each other pave a way for LGBTQ young love in animation. It also gives us Luz and Amity character development, small hints at insecurities and conflicting emotions, and normalizing queer teen romances. I have seen multiple interpretations and analyses of their plot and I wanna analyze Luz and Amity from the three important scenes: Inside the Library, Outside the Library, and Blight Manor.

Inside the Library

First we have Luz knocking on Gus’s door to use Gus’s library card. It seems this is not the first time as she admits she isn’t hiding her crush very well and Gus agrees. Although she is going to the library to find Philip’s journal on the portal, she does get sidetracked with her crush on Amity. Even the twins notice both have a crush on each other but instead of teasing them about it, they just leave them alone. It seems everyone knows Luz and Amity have feelings for each other except those two and not because they are oblivious about it. It’s because Amity is still trying to figure out her own feelings and Luz isn’t sure if Amity likes her back or is afraid of losing her friendship because of these feelings.

Amity and Luz’s interactions are awkward and anxious because they have a crush on each other. That is completely normal in young love and it’s done very well here. They become flustered and weird when seeing each other and once in close contact with each other immediately separate. This is very well written and boarded becaused it normalizes queer crushes. Usually it's either the two characters fall in love immediately with no development or it's one sided. Not with Amity and Luz as they are confused lovestruck teenagers who are navigating these new found feelings for each other. Like a lot of teens, having a crush is confusing and awkward and having two queer characters (Luz is bisexual and Amity is lesbian) having developing feelings and normlazing those interactions shows queer teens and kids it's normal and okay to have these feelings.

Most interesting in their adventures in the library is the Amity and Luz character development.

First off Luz becomes less impulsive of her actions because she worries about Amity losing her job. While at the doorway to the Forbidden Stacks, Luz reassures herself and says she will find another way. After her conversation with Amity in the Forbidden Stacks, she says they should head back and doesn't want to push Amity. Usually Luz is impulsive in her actions. In the Human Realm, she does things without thinking first and that's caused a lot of trouble for others. Because she knows Amity could lose her job if caught, Luz thinks before diving into danger so she doesn't hurt Amity. This is development for Luz because it shows her thinking about her actions before doing so and how it might affect others. This isn't the first time either she has shown this development but it's very prominent in this episode and shows how much she cares about Amity.

Amity has become more impulsive in her actions lately. Despite knowing she could lose her job in the library, she still helps Luz in getting into the Forbidden Stacks. This irrational behavior is because of Amity's feelings towards Luz. When Luz mentions a possible date with Amity to the Human Realm, she ignores Luz's hesitation to go further and rushes to get the diary, dragging Luz with her. Amity is worried about losing her job but pushes through because she knows how important this diary is to Luz and her feelings for her cloud her rational judgment (not ignoring her development throughout the series that has also impacted her but just focusing on the episode).

Outside the Library

After Amity is fired, Luz immediately apologizes but Amity stops her. Both have become upset from the incident but for different reasons. (This analysis/interpretation mostly comes from halcyonhyacinth on Twitter and Tumblr. I highly recommend following her. Awesome writer!) (https://psychotakublabs.tumblr.com/post/656478634193928192/all-of-this-this-scene-was-so-powerful-and-well)

Amity is upset because she did lose her job but also because of her conflicting emotions and actions. "Being around you makes me do stupid things and I wish it didn't." Amity was raised in a family environment that emphasised high standards and perfection. Before Luz showed up, she had to be perfect to live up to her parent's expectations and had to think about her actions as well as control her emotions. However, Luz has changed her perspectives on life and Amity's new found feelings for Luz makes her become more impulsive to help Luz. Because Luz is her first crush, she is still navigating these feelings that make her do the opposite of what she normally does. Amity has every right to be upset because she lost her job and somewhat blames Luz for it because of her new found feelings. It's not till she sees Luz cry and hears her say she does the same does she realize her feelings may not be strange and one sided. Now lots have interpreted this interaction as a confession which is a part of it. But it is more of a confession of vulnerability and confusion than love, but that doesn’t mean it could have come out as having feelings for one another as well. Another part of Amity’s reactions is how Amity has affected Luz to the point she is upset as well (maybe even thinking her words hurt Luz) and that her feelings and actions are similar. Instead of taking her frustration out on Luz, she decides to go home to calm down and think more about her feelings. Amity is still dealing with her budding feelings towards Luz and it's understandable why she is so upset both from being fired and her conflicting emotions.

Luz is afraid she will lose Amity because she got her fired. After Amity says she does stupid things when around Luz and wish she didn’t do them, Luz is so upset she cries. This is probably related to her experiences in the Human Realm. In the Human Realm, Luz’s impulsive actions have freaked out others and is used to others pushing her away. Luz is starting to develop feelings for Amity and she is scared she has pushed her away because of her reckless behavior. This is different from the Human Realm because Luz truly cares for Amity and doesn’t want to lose her as a friend. Luz tries to reassure Amity she is not the only one who acts rash. When Amity leaves, Luz pushes her insecurities and sadness aside to get Amity’s job back. We are seeing more of Luz’s insecurities from the Human Realm throughout Season 2. For example, Luz feels guilty about Eda losing her powers and goes on a life threatening journey to make it up to her in “Separate Tides”. This probably stemmed from her experiences with her mom in the Human Realm whenever she got in trouble and burdened her mother. In “Through the Looking Glass Ruins”, fear of losing Amity comes from her experience of others pushing her away and is afraid it will happen with Amity. Luz has a lot of self-blame because of her prolonged experiences in the Human Realm. However, Luz pushes those feelings down to make it up to Amity by getting her job back. Although Luz did mess up and cost Amity her job, she is willing to amend her mistakes not only to make Amity happy but because she truly cares for her even if she loses her as a friend.

Blight Manor

Amity and Emira have a heart to heart conversation about Amity’s feelings towards Luz. She confesses that these new feelings towards Luz are confusing and scare her because she has never had these thoughts and emotions before. Emira reassures her it’s okay to have these feelings since it makes her happier. After brushing her hair, Emira notices Amity is still conflicted and brings up her roots showing and offering to re-dye her hair. Amity decides to cut and dye her hair purple. This is important in Amity’s development because she wants to be independent from her mother’s control and become the person she wants to be by doing something she wants. Even if she will get in trouble or others don’t like it, she is willing to have a fresh start as the person she wants to be. In fiction and real life, changing hair styles can be symbolic of changing one’s self and a powerful message of being who you want to be. What may seem like a small step is actually a huge achievement for Amity because changing her hair, that was once being forced to dye green for color coordination by her mother, to a shorter cut and purple color is her way of acting on her own and being the person she wants to be.

Luz was ready to face rejection from Amity but was willing to at least give her job back. Luz has shown time and time again how far she will go to help her friends. She even understood why Amity would want to push her away and was prepared for it. What she was not prepared for was seeing Amity’s new look. After explaining how she got Amity’s job back, Amity notices the echo mouse and Luz catches the little pest. After seeing the echo mouse shows Philip’s first diary entry, Luz thanks the mouse and hopes they can be friends. It’s great to see how far Luz will go to help her friends, even if she is the one who caused the mistake.

After Amity notices Luz’s kindness (looking at her library card), she decides to be bold and give Luz a kiss on the cheek. Both are shocked at what just happened. Amity becomes flustered, bids Luz farewell “forever”, and wonders why she kissed Luz on the cheek. Again, Amity is still confused with her crush on Luz and needs time to sort those feelings out. Luz becomes more smitten with Amity and falls to the ground. She probably never thought Amity would reciprocate her feelings or think Amity may have the same feelings. In the Human Realm, Luz is used to being pushed away and Amity kissing her on the cheek is so shocking, she goes weak and falls on her knees. This is a first for Luz as well as she is navigating her feelings towards Amity. Both may know they have feelings towards each other. However, neither one is going to admit it for a while because these feelings are new to them. For Amity, her crush is entirely new to her and she has to figure out what they are and how she wants to move forward with them. With Luz, her feelings towards Amity are mostly about accepting the fact it’s not one-sided and to figure out how she wants to act on these feelings. Both need to navigate their own feelings first before moving further in their relationship. I am curious as to how they will interact after that scene, because both have to realize that kiss was beyond platonic and it may get more awkward for them later in the series. We will have to wait a while before getting more Lumity progress in “The Owl House”

The Lumity in this episode was written and animated very well and is important for viewers and future animated series. First off, is the fact a Disney animated series shows a main cast progressing as an LGBTQ couple in the middle of a series. LGTBQ couples/soon-to-be couples/characters in children’s animation are usually confirmed at the end of the series, never confirmed at all but hinted (queerbaiting), background characters with little screen time, villains, or killed off. It’s both unbelievable yet wonderful to see an LGBTQ couple, especially with two teen characters, become canon. Not imaginative from fanfiction or made canon in comics but in the series at the beginning of Season 2. This is huge because not many networks, let alone one as big as Disney, have confirmed an LGBTQ character and couple early on in a show. I have hope that it will give inspiration to other major studios to follow suit with more stories with representation like “The Owl House”. One of my favorite aspects of Lumity in the series is it normalizes queer young love. This includes the complexities of newfound feelings of young love and navigation of first love. There is little to no animated series, at least in children’s animation, that have characters like Amity and Luz having feelings for each other and navigating those feelings in the middle of the series. It shows queer children and teens it’s okay to feel this way because it’s normal! Just like how it is normal for heterosexual teens to have the same feelings and actions to young love. To some it may not be a big deal, but as someone who came out as a lesbian at age 13 (2006-2007) and lives off of cartoons, anime, manga, comics, and books, there was basically nothing that felt close to how my high school experiences of young romance were. It is very refreshing and hopeful to see young LGTBQ youth see a Disney show have canon queer characters and the main cast a canon queer couple with normalized and realistic experiences. How it’s confusing but wonderful to have these feelings like everyone else. “The Owl House” continues to push the boundaries of children’s animation and the queer representation is continuing to be phenominal and wonderful!

[helioleti]

I've been rewatching ATLA several times lately and this time I especially ended up wondering a lot about Iroh and Ozai's past and characters in general. I just can't help but think it weird that Ozai is the ultimate trashbag of a humanbeing while Iroh ended up preaching harmony and peace. It just doesn't make any sense. These guys are brothers. They were brought up by the same parents, in the same fascist imperialistic nation, they were taught the same values growing up. You're trying to tell me the difference is that Iroh was destined to be the person he eventually came to be, but Ozai was just born evil? No, I don't think so.

I have two hot takes that I'm gonna elaborate:

1. Iroh had a guidance Ozai lacked

2. Ozai was the less favored son

(Disclaimer: I haven't read the comics yet so I don't know how deep they've already gone into this subject at some point. I'm trying to interpret and analyze the stuff that I got from the animated series only. If anything I say contradicts what has already been confirmed in the comics, feel free to correct me.)

Hear me out. Iroh wasn't born a saint. Everyone is aware of this, especially Iroh himself. He laid siege to Ba Sing Se for 2 years, costing the Fire Nation and Earth Kingdom thousands of lives. Everyone knew that if the Fire Nation took over the capital, it meant almost ultimate victory for the Fire Nation. He even went as far as making a offhand sadistic jokes about burning the city to the ground in that letter to Zuko and Azula.

Iroh acknowledges it himself; He was a different man.

So what changed?

Yes, his son died. It broke and shattered him from the inside, making him drop all efforts to continue fighting in the war. To continue what had been his lifelong ambition, what he believed to be his destiny. He had a literal vision about taking over Ba Sing Se when he was a child, and that had been what he'd been pursuing ever since. But the death of his son managed to crumble all of that into nothingness. How is that possible?

Don't get me wrong. I think it's completely valid. I just don't understand how Lu Ten and Iroh could've had such a loving and caring relationship in the first place, when that's clearly something unusual among the royal family. Ozai burned and banished Zuko without a second thought, not to mention all the other shit he did to him growing up. Ozai didn't give two shits about Azula either, he only ever intended to use her as his weapon. Doesn't seem too surprising, if you ask me. Azulon didn't hesitate to demand that Ozai kill his own son if he wanted the throne. That's the man that raised Ozai, so it's just logical that Ozai learned that behavior and those values from his own father.

Even 9 year old Azula thinks it laughable that Iroh would fall apart at the death of his son. She is a child and this is how she thinks. The reason Zuko doesn't think like this is because he's had the guidance of his mother, unlike Azula. This is the kind of mentality these kids grow up with. They grew up with war and so did Iroh and Ozai.

So why was Iroh's relationship with Lu Ten so different? Where did Iroh experience the kind of compassion and love he passed on to his own son, that Ozai definitely didn't? People act on how they've come to learn, so where did Iroh learn to care about his son to a point that it made him give up on his lifelong ambition?

Let's review a very crucial information we have on Iroh and Ozai as siblings: They have a huge age gap.

Frankly, I'm guessing about 10-20 years. Looks more like 20 to me, but that could also be Iroh's greater amount of endured pain and war making him look older than he actually is. But no one can deny that an age gap is definitely there. Which can also indicate they had different upbringings, despite having grown up in the same family as brothers.

What does this mean? Well, that's just me theorizing now, but I can definitely imagine that Iroh had someone, a family member maybe, there for him who wasn't around or didn't care to be when Ozai grew up. There must've been someone there who gave Iroh emotional security and guidance throughout his upbringing. Who? That's up to imagination. A friend of the family? A friendly uncle? His own mother ((or father))? (The last two things worked out for Zuko in the end, didn't they?) Otherwise I can't really explain myself why Iroh had enough values to love the way he loved Lu Ten, while Ozai clearly didn't give two fucks about his children at any point in his life.

Iroh was the firstborn son, the one who had a vision very early in his life that his destiny was to take over Ba Sing Se. Probably the one who got to have a family member care about him enough to show him how to love.

(I like to point this out a lot because I find it very interesting, and very significant. Please A:TLA give us more info on Iroh's past!!)

Which brings me to my second take: Ozai was the less favored son.

Iroh was clearly a son to be proud of. He was a master firebender, the "Dragon of the West", if you will. He apparently had a vision as a boy that he'd conquer the most "impenetrable city" in the world. He probably lived up to his parent's expectations for his whole life, especially having no sibling to be compared to for a significant part of his life. He broke through the outter wall of Ba Sing Se during his siege. Yada yada yada, you get my point. He's the best son they could've wished for.

And Ozai? As far as I know, he barely even has any military achievements. Taking over Ba Sing Se was Azula's doing. While Iroh laid siege to the capital, he was at home chilling in the palace. He's the younger brother to an established hero and was never meant to be firelord. Now, I haven't read the comics for more info on Ozai's biography, but this man barely had a chance to live up to his parent's standards with Iroh as an older brother. If my theory is correct, Ozai also didn't have any person to provide him emotional guidance throughout his life. (*cough* like Azula)

The logical outcome is: infinite jealousy.

And when Ozai suggests to Azulon that he revoke Iroh's birthright to become firelord, this is Azulon's answer:

Azulon doesn't even hesitate to call Ozai out on his bullshit. He doesn't hesitate to take offense at the suggestion of betraying Iroh, and he even seems to care about Iroh's suffering. Not to mention that Azulon is overall annoyed with Ozai's request for an audience and sends the rest of Ozai's family away as soon as he can, to get whatever it is Ozai wants over with.

I could also mention the fact that Ozai tried to impress Azulon with his daughter's skills (Azula, even named after him) and the overall strained relationship these two seem to exhibit. It's obviously very different from Azulon's relationship with Iroh, if the way he talks about said man is anything to show for.

What if Azulon treated Ozai the same way Ozai treated Zuko? (Probably without the physical abuse, but you get my point.) What if this is where Ozai learned to treat a "useless" kid like shit, maybe also in a way to cope with how he was treated himself?

Getting deeper into the fact that Ozai is rather a loser compared to Iroh, without any big military achievements and without value for anything beyond that, this also explains a lot about Ozai's constant need to establish his dominance.

First; Becoming Firelord through radical manners (you know, killing his own son or killing his own father)

Second; Publicly burning and banishing his own son whom he considers a weakling, who dared to speak up in his war room. Doing this to have everyone know that he doesn't associate himself with weakness and that he will not ever tolerate any form of disrespect.

Third; The whole Phoenix King act. No one can tell me this isn't a madman's doing. This is literally to show off that he is the most powerful person in the world.

Ozai is so obsessed with proving himself and his superiority to everyone, including himself and probably Iroh too. This makes most sense if we consider that he probably lived in his brother's shadow for his whole life, ignored by probably every guiding figure he's ever had in his life, maybe even considered a laughingstock by his own father.

Perhaps this is also the reason Ozai didn't have any problem with Iroh accompanying Zuko in banishment. His brother, the hero in whose shadow he grew up, and his son, the failure he'd wanted out of the way for a long time already. It would erase Iroh's image that made him superior to him, once and for all. For himself and the world. I believe that branding him a traitor was the biggest satisfaction Ozai had ever experienced in his life.

I absolutely despise Ozai with every fibre of my heart, but it amazes me how ATLA continues to leave so much room for interpretation and explanation for a character as despicable as him. Writing this, even had me feel sympathy for him at some point. Feel free to disagree with me or add anything, I'm eager to hear everyone's thoughts about Ozai and Iroh's backstories because I'm geniuinely very curious.

[vanquishedvaliant]

So there’s this trend I’m seeing on social media about people boycotting / encouraging people not to buy the upcoming Mass Effect remasters.

The reasonings being somewhat varied, some valid, others not, but mostly centering around one thing in specific; cut content relating to same sex relationships that didn’t make it into the games.

Now, I understand not being interested in the product being offered; I’m probably not going to buy it myself for a lack of specific features like multiplayer and... just not needing the buy the game for my fifth or sixth time. It’s completely valid to think the remasters are just not doing enough for you to justify a purchase, or that their faith in the company doing it properly in their current state isn’t there. I get that.

But the mood that’s come up lately isn’t just disinterest; it’s downright outrage. Violent, ideologically charged opposition to even the concept of the remasters because of a perceived failure to meet their extremely specific and often high standards and notions of progressiveness.

Now it’s not exactly news that Bioware has had a rocky relationship with inclusivity over the years, with queer characters flitting in and out of recognition and prominence, appropriation of queer archetypes, and less than stellar execution of what characters they do include. I’ve had my complaints with these myself from time to time, though it’s still always struck me historically as a generally positive, if clumsy attempt at progress that I appreciated despite the flaws; remember that the original Mass Effect 1 came out in 2007, and was the focus of a major media scandal about even including romantic relationships at all in the game, nevermind same sex ones. That’s 14 years ago! The most recent game in the series is 9 years old!

We can talk about the social standards of the times and the progress we’ve made, and we can also talk about the merits of restoring and improving media as it was, or recreating it to more closely reflect the values of today and which or both of them is a worthwhile pursuit, but I don’t think that’s what’s being sincerely argued here.

What we see instead is some protestation that failure to make the exacting changes that they see fit according to their personal ideology is some kind of radically regressive statement, as if it’s a conscious, malicious decision and not either one made in good faith or not at all. This movement has collectively decided that the remaster needs to contain exactly the changes that fit their fleeting whims or the entire thing’s at best a wash and a wasted effort, and in some cases a ‘homophobic’ statement of hatred, or cynically callous laziness. 

Let’s remember; the focus of this argument is the presence of available simulated dating options in a 14 year old game. The arguments posits that some of these alternative options are ones that were cut from the release of the games, notably the first one, and have some or numerous assets that exist in various forms within the game files that with some work can be accessed in the game with user-made modifications. Some of this is true; though much of it is exaggerated or misconstrued in terms of its scope or viability.

Many of these people just assume that this cut content that someone else has restored in a mod somewhere is just some sort of simple toggle done in moments without effort, ignoring the work those modders did on their own time and money to introduce those features. 

Even if we just hand wave any standards of quality or continuity or polish and integration these mods have, you have to consider the dozens to hundreds of volunteer man hours of labor these fans put into many of those mods to make them viable that a company paying it’s employees a fair wage and time to do without overworking has to budget. Which I should mind to you is something also incredibly topically relevant in game dev these days. Adding new content costs money. Restoring old content, still costs money.

Even then, the viability of many of those original assets is at question in itself; the 'ingredients’ used to create the content are not equivalent to the ‘cooked’ content found in the game files, so some of them are difficult to work with or lacking in features or quality. Hell, we know for a fact that half of the god damn development data for ME1 is just fucking gone, which is why the DLC isn’t making an appearance in the remaster at all; it just doesn’t exist anymore and would need to be remade from utter scratch.

Now there’s a dozen reasons undertakings like these would or wouldn’t make their list of priorities for remaster given the other work they are doing re; texture and model uprezzing, gameplay updates, etc. It’s not exactly strange for them to recreate the game largely as it was with a more limited scope of changes. Perhaps the decision was made to preserve some parts of the game largely as it was; with mostly minor cosmetic changes to things like Miranda’s camera angles; things that don’t have much overhead or ripple effect. Perhaps restoring the content was considered, but didn’t make the cut- maybe for the same reasons it didn’t make it into the game in 2007. Maybe for different ones.

Only the people involved know.

Now, would I like to see some of that content restored and improved? Sure! I think it’d have been a great thing if they’d promoted the series as having new or restored content; if they’d promised us such things. But they haven’t, and while it’s one thing to praise taking an initiative like that if they had, I think it’s completely unreasonable to be outraged that they didn’t.

We can celebrate that kind of outstanding and excellent steps forward in inclusivity, but we have to understand that while someone not being ahead of the curve may not be exciting or even disappointing; it is not in itself an act of directed aggression. And treating it like one is a waste of time and energy that we can direct to protesting actual aggression, or celebrating those outstanding steps.

But here’s the major thing that kills me; all those mods they love and praise aren’t going anywhere.

The remaster will come out and unless Bioware is so completely tone deaf and media blind from the past year they pull a WC3, the old versions of the game will all still be available. All those user made mods they cite in these arguments about “how easy” it is to add content to the game will still be there, ready to play as they always were. Some of them might even work or be easily made to work with the new versions!

All of that will still be there! And we’ll have access to a new version of the trilogy that is far more accessible to new players who haven’t yet been exposed to so much of the games content that they are desperate for more of it.

Just look at Mass Effect 1; that game has not aged well, and it was kind of a sloppy mess even when it came out! How many new players can we get to enjoy all the good things the series has to offer with an easily accessed, more enjoyable package to play through the entire series without issue? I’ve done numerous replays of the trilogy through the years, and Mass Effect 1 is always a huge stumbling block. It’s just a pain in the ass, straight out. Don’t you want at least the option to fix that?

And if not, you don’t have to buy it and no harm is done to you! Enjoy your existing version with your mods and familiar features and flaws.

And if you truly, genuinely care so passionately about Bioware improving their record of inclusivity; look instead to the new game that’s coming out and look forward to that instead. Every game in the franchise has been better than the last at this; ME1 cut the same sex relationships, but ME2 had some. ME3 had even more, and then Andromeda had yet even further than that after patching!

How many will the new game have?

Look forward to that and make it clear to bioware you’re looking for that in their games; just.... ease off this ridiculous vitriol in trying to get people to avoid the remaster because it’s not good enough for you. No one needs to have this bullying done to either the developers themselves or the players looking to buy the game for themselves or others. It’s simply not productive.

Especially with this franchise’s sordid history with excessive media outrage and entitlement that’s been absolutely exhausted.

Just... relax. And have some perspective.