#mafia chuuya

[toomanymarkers]

People joke about Dazai and Chuuya being romantically experienced or whatever, but I think it's the opposite. Chuuya doesn't know what that stuff is because Mori thinks it's funny

[svetlovasart]

Waiting for the train.

Inspired by tasya_rey’s cosplay

[jellie-the-aqua-puma]

Chuuya’s so funny because he literally shows up to do the bare minimum (unless Dazai is involved).

Like mfkr, you’re the strongest person in the world, what do you mean “oh no! he sliced through the helicopter blades! What are we going to do?!”

Your power is near limitless. Take your pick of defensive techniques. Throw him to space. Grind him to dust. Carry the helicopter away???

Why are you making people jump out of planes and sacrifice their lives when you can juggle the opps until their brains are mush?

He’s like “Mori said let them on the helicopter. I did my part.”

“Oh no; that kid and that guy from that place that Dazai occasionally volunteers at are strapped to bombs?” … “Well it’s my day off so more power to them.” ✌🏼

The absolute bare minimum. He’s so funny.

[dahliadagger]

sir you'll have to specify that a little

[sorcerersandskillusers]

Remember that in this scene Dazai "lives on canned crab and whiskey" Osamu has a three gunshot wounds and a broken leg while Chuuya "the strongest ability user" Nakahara is just sitting there watching

And the funniest part is every single one of those injuries was inflicted by Chuuya and most of them weren't even part of the plan

[kyoukamybeloved]

Everytime i remember that scene un stormbringer, this is all I can think about

like they fully did this, coordinated and all, dazai was like yeah this is fair

creds: aka3kan on twitter is the artist

[little-blurry-stars5]

this stupid fuck has been rotating in my mind so im here to share it w yall

Dazai doesnt belong in the pm. he never did. heres why

in the pm, dazai calls chuuya his "dog". akutagawa is referred to as "the rabid dog of the port mafia". when we first meet akutagawa, he calls higuchi "a useless cur" (cur means an agressive dog or one in poor condition). we can see that the port mafia is full of dogs.

in The Day I Picked Up Dazai, oda refers to seeing dazai as a stray cat (i think). almost every headcanon associates dazai with being a black or stray (or both) cat.

and then we have the ada.

one of their employees litterly turns into a tiger. the president is obsessed with cats.

in the pm, dazai was a stray cat in a den of dogs. thats why he fits in/cares about the ada. he fits there, feels at home.

[pleucas]

irresponsible illegal getaway drive

[ninfadora7]

18 Skk

A quick goodbye before leaving

[lotus-pear]

I AM SHITTJING MYSELF WHY DOES HE HAVE THE SPECIAL EDITION $1.5K VICTORIA’S SECRET RED SATIN PAJAMAS

[iwamimimimi]

[chuuyaxsupremacy9]

Chuuya, unbuttoning shirt: god, isn't it hot in here?

Dazai: yes, but why the hell are you unbuttoning my shirt?

[artpikuuhnah]

BSD Major Arcana (SET A)

PRE ORDER HERE 💌

[inamagicalhallucination]

pm game night - fuck marry kill edition

tachihara: okay!! chuuya-san, fuck marry kill, akutagawa, dazai, kunikida

chuuya: marry akutagawa

akutagawa: ew

chuuya: fuck kunikida

akutagawa: ew

chuuya: kill dazai

tachihara: fair enough

higuchi: what about u tachihara, fuck marry kill - akutagawa-senpai, weretiger, gin-san

tachihara: hmm marry gi-

akutagawa: RASHOMON

gin:

higuchi:

kajii: okkayyy higuchi!! fuck marry kill - lemon bombs, me, akutagawa

chuuya: you're playing it wrong! u cant say lemon bombs

kouyou: honestly, how crude...

chuuya: i'll go. fuck marry kill, akutagawa: the weretiger, higuchi, tachihara

higuchi, blushing: oh-

akutagawa: weretiger, weretiger, weretiger

higuchi:

gin:

chuuya: ...that can't be healthy

kouyou, scoffing: fuck marry kill, dazai, tachihara, ranpo

chuuya: fuck dazai, kill dazai, marry da- oh

kouyou: exactly

higuchi: wait ! chuuya-san fuck marry kill, kunikida, ranpo, tachihara

chuuya: hmm

chuuya: fuck kunikida, marry kunikida, kill dazai

higuchi:

kajii: wait i get it now! akutagawa! fuck marry kill-

akutagawa: weretiger, weretiger, weretiger

kajii: i didn't even finish

tachihara, finally waking up covered in blood: am i dead

gin, writing to tachihara: fuck marry kill, weretiger, higuchi, tanizaki

tachihara: hmm fuck wereti-

akutagawa: RASHOMON

[mackerel22]

Dazai: Chuuya and I don't use pet names.

Odasaku: I see. Hey, what do bees make?

Dazai: Honey.

*silence*

Dazai: Ha, you thought, bitch.

Chuuya, yelling from another room: What do you want, whore?

[cheshire-writer]

The Problem: Mori wants Dazai as his successor. The mafia wants Chuuya as Mori's successor. Dazai doesn't want it. Cannibalism stageplay revealed that Chuuya doesn't want it either.

The solution: They deal with is skk style. They flip coins, draw straws, battle it out at the arcade. Loser has to lead the PM for a week. Winner gets time off. A week later, rinse and repeat.

Yes, they cheat. Yes, they know the other is cheating. No, it doesn't stop them from trying to out-cheat the other. No, they don't miss a beat picking up right where the other left the work, no matter the codewords, operations, secrets, etc involved that they should technically be clueless about. No, they don't think that's strange. Yes, everyone else is screaming into their pillows.

(Bonus: Dazai spends his ill-gotten time off at the agency, working for the government for a given definition of Dazai-working at a job that pays less than 0.01% of the PM boss salary. He does it to be annoying (and also for mental health reasons).

Chuuya spends his ill-gotten time off attending classy wine-tasting events, writing poetry, and being lead singer for a rock band. He's got a healthy life work balance for the first time in his life.)