#man i haven't done such a list in a while hopefully it's good:))

[panics-side-blog]

Shattered glass Shockwave headcanons

So today i read someone being upset that all the sg headcanons they see about shockwave isn't really good and they wanted to see some more input from others, i forgot who they where nor what the blog is called but i decided to give my own two cents in this form. Shout-out to this person this post is for you and i hope you can enjoy it

👾Still a scientist and looked up too for his amazing inventions but he isn't the same infamy then his counter part.

👾Mainly because he is messy and disorganized/not being able to set priority's because he doesn't understand what is a priority and what not since all of it is important for him.

👾 He also refused to do stuff if he sees the invention being used to harm others or if the negatives are too damaging in his opinion. The safety for others are his priority and his invention is just for the people in need.

👾Very autistic (his counterpart too but he is somewhere else on the spectrum). The type of autistic that, instead of having flat effect/ a monotone voice, has it going all over the place. It being very expressive and more loud then calm and quiet. Which also can come off as not so great because people still interpretate it wrong a lot of times. Thinking he is angry because his voice has a lot of intensity that is meant to show his happiness and eagerness to help or what also happens is that they think he is sarcastic because his voice tone goes up and down a lot essentially having a voice; LiKe hOw yoU WouLD ReAd ThIs OuT.(happens the most when he indulgence in his special interest).

👾A lot of his intellect comes from him being emotionally very smart. Like he knows exactly what your feeling and why and can help you with this exact problem and comfort you just right, making you feel like the world could end but everything's is alright as long as he has you in his arms, telling you sweet and encouraging words that hit just right.

👾But ironically (or better said autistically) he has problems to express his feelings in words. He doesn't seem to find the right once or can't read his own emotional right because their all over the place/just ????? (I hope you get what i mean, other autistic people who know that feeling give me a yippe in the comments/hj)

👾Will explode if he can't stim. Which also paired with when he info dumps it can be very intense. His voice gets loud and booming not being able to tell that it just does it's thing and he either walks up and down or rocks back and forth very intensely. He once feel back from a chair because he broke the backrest due to his stims. But he laughed about it and thought it was funny.

👾LOVES humans, most of his info dumps is about humans. A lot of inventions are for humans (also the reason why he isn't seen as much as a great scientist because like 60/70% of his stuff are ment for humans. And the Cybertronians just think "wtf are we suppose to do with this".) He has to be thoroughly convinced to not spend the next cycles to build some sort of stuff for humans. It can be really hard to do so. Not just for the one who tries to convince him but also for shockwave because it makes him sad that he can't spend more time with it :((. (It's also a high chance he will half ass his Projekt if no one checks in often enough or give him some sort of reward to motivate and show him it's not a wasted of time). But once you pull out the *insert Bot who struggles because of a thing out of their control and needs support for it* he is convinced. The other projects are much harder to convince for,their is going to be a hour long conversation with a really well made PowerPoint presentation that was made by a group to show him why he should do it.

👾 Beside that all of his project are ethical, his moral and justice compass is STRONG. Like STRONG STRONG. He would rather die then do something immoral that could hurt someone. It's just not logical for him to hurt others.

👾His work also besides helping humans, mostly focuses on Cybertronian health instead of war inventions. Be it support for disabled Mechs or the once who have mental health issues or just figuring out how you can get rid of a common cold the fastest and easiest. He generally focuses a lot on health and super for other's.

👾is very cheerful in general always here to build you up and share his love and passion with others.

👾Can also get overwhelmed by a lot of work very easy so he needs support on that with people he trusts the most.

👾Originally wanted to work as a Psychologist or sociologists but due to the war making his plans very messy he realizes right now the Mechs who lost it all needed inventions to help them out. He still pursues his original plan and already is called the "psychologist friend/Psychologist that has an invisible degree" because he knows so much about it.

[pearldog30]

The boys finding out you had a miscarriage.

ghost, hesh, rudy, soap.

Here's a little something for y'all 🖤

I know it's not much. but I want to get back into writing, especially since I'll be playing MW3 hopefully soon. (I haven't done an HC in forever so this might be a little rusty)

Other works 👉 Master list

Warnings| miscarriage.

Ghost👻

You were just coming home from work, when you noticed your boyfriend was home early. The first time he was home early enough for you to actually talk to him. as he has been avoiding you, since you told him you were expecting. you knew you had to break the news to him now, As now would probably be the only time to do it. When you walked in he could tell something was up. "Hey love. You want 'a tea?" He asked, as he was heating up some water. "hey babe.... Can we talk?" You said lightly, trying not to sound upset. Ghost nodded his head in return waiting for you to finish your sentence. "I... Hmmm I had a miscarriage..." You said quietly. expecting not to get a reaction from the man who didn't even really want the kid, from what you thought. Before he turned his head, you could tell his eyes widen in shock. He looks at you blankly and you couldn't tell what emotion was going on in his head, And it kinda scared you.. "when?" He said quietly, and softly those being his only words. it took you by surprise. "I- about a week ago..." You said nervously. he quietly walked up to you, wrapping you in his arms giving you a tight, but gentle hug. "You should have told me sooner..." He whispered. As he held you close. Even though he never showed it often, you really were everything to him.

We all obviously know how ghost felt when you told him you were pregnant. he wasn't excited or mad about it, just anxious because well... you know. This mf traumatizing past So when you broke the news to him it took him by surprise, he wasn't expecting to feel a bit saddened by the news.

If we're being honest here a little tiny part of him did like the idea of you taking care of his child. maybe, just maybe... a beautiful family of his own, like he's always dreamed of before he got in a war. but he never thought he was worthy enough to be a father.

Ghost blames himself for the miscarriage thinking he was the reason or he did something to cause this. And because of it he pushed himself away from you for a while.

He didn't even bother to try to sleep for a while after you told him. He would stay up countless of nights watching you sleep, making sure you got rest. Because he knew the toll it took on your body from all of this.

Anytime any of the other 141 members would ask him about the baby. he would either glare at them or tell them to shut it, he honestly did not like talking about it. Or even think about it. It really did hurt him in a way he was not expecting

Hesh🌴

My bb because he doesn't get talked about enough

You were sitting in your living room waiting for your fiance to get home from his 4 month deployment. anxious to break the news to him. Before he had left you told him you were expecting, and he was over the moon to find out he was going to be a dad. And now here you are sitting in your living room having to be the bearer of bad news. Getting lost in train of thought, you hear an engine pull into the driveway. before you know it, your fiance is busting through the door so excited. "Hey babe I'm home. Where's my little munchkin at" he says excitedly, expecting to see you holding his baby. scanning the room. and then he's met with you sitting on the couch hunched over. and and the site hit him like a ton of bricks, he knew something was wrong. "baby... Everything good?" He says quietly, crouching down next to you. Looking at him with tear-filled eyes, you struggle to get the words out. "I- i lost the baby..." You say through a sod, and he felt his eyes immediately begin to water. "Wha- how I mean.... That's impossible!" He says trying to comprehend all this. He puts his hands on your knees, forcing you to look at him. "I- I'm so... So sorry." He says looking at you, before he pulls you into a tight hug. and you could feel the tears running from his eyes.

In the beginning it was really hard for the both of you, but especially him. to go or even be around all the baby stuff you guys got. he barely stepped foot in the baby's room/let anybody open it for the first few months.

It was extremely difficult for him to break the news to his team, because he felt like a coward for leaving you alone for that long, feeling like it was all his fault since he wasn't there for those long months, he's the reason you lost the baby.

After that it was really hard for him to be around kids. because he would always imagine what it would be like if it was his kid.

Even after the baby was gone you would sometimes catch him talking to his dad about baby stuff/asking for advice. and Elias would always look at him, And ask him. "are you guys expecting again?" It always hurt hesh deep down when he told him no. that wasn't the case, he just... Found some comfort in talking about it he supposed.

You would often find him in the early hours of the morning, talking to Riley about all the little scenarios in his head if the baby were here. or how he blames himself for not being there the day you lost the baby. Okay him talking to Riley about the baby tho😭

Soap🧼

You were in your kitchen making dinner, waiting for your boyfriend to come home. Today was your second week, check up. You had walked in that building with high hopes, and left feeling like you lost a piece of yourself. As you were chopping up vegetables, you hear your boyfriend come in through the door. letting out a long breath you didn't know you had. "Hey Bonnie!" he says in a grunt. as he drops his bag down on the floor, walking up to you. hugging you from behind, putting his massive hands on your little baby bump. "How's my 2 babies doing?" He says cheekily, leaving countless of kisses on your neck. "Uhh... We're good" you say nervously, trying your hardest to hide all the pain you felt today. you want to at least have dinner before you have to tell him. But he quickly notices, he always does. "Mhm... How did the appointment go? Do we know the gender of this little thing right here" he humps happily. As he gently rubs your bump. But you don't respond. You pretend as if you didn't hear him, as it is still too painful to talk about. There's a long pause, as he taps your shoulder again. "How. Did. The. Appointment. Go.?" He says now starting to get impatient. Struggling to find the words, he pulls you tighter into his touch. making you forget what you're doing. "Is everything okay?" He says softly starting to get worried. "No..." You burst into tears and this makes him worried. "What happened... Talk to me Bonnie." He demands, but in the most gentle Way. "W- we... Don't have the baby anymore" you cry. He hugs you from behind even tighter, as he starts to get emotional. "Fuck!.." where the only words he could get out, before he buried his face in your shoulder. grieving this lost with you.

You weren't expecting soap to take it as hard as he did. But when he found out he got depressed for a couple of weeks. it took a lot to get him out of that depression state. Even some of the guys were getting worried about him.

The first person he told was surprisingly price. even though price doesn't have kids of his own. he was very supportive, and knew exactly what to say. You were thankful for the captain because he had help soap get out of his depression. and had actually given him a couple weeks off, so he could take time for himself, and you of course. Because we all know ghost would have been like try for another 💀

Even though you guys had the lost baby, soap would still rub, and talk to your belly all the time, it was just a comforting thing for him. almost like a habit. and you'd have to remind him the baby isn't there anymore. And his response would always be. "Oh, Yea' I knew that..."

Surprisingly not short after. soap has started coming around and bringing up kids more and more. trying to bring up the idea of trying for another. Because now all that fills his mind is the idea of you being a mom. the idea of domesticated life with you, away from the battleground. is something he's starting to crave more and more.

On the nights that soap couldn't sleep, you would always find him in the nursery that was supposed to be the baby's room. Zoning out while holding one of the baby's books/onesies. it would always break your heart each time, because these were the rare moments where you could see the pure care, and love, he had for this baby.

Rudy🥺

You and your husband were on your way for your second week, ultrasound appointment. So excited and happy. You guys have been trying for so long to have a baby, And before you know it, your guys's dream is coming true. you're getting called back into an ultrasound room, where you would be finding out the gender before too long. As you lay on the table nervous, your husband sitting right next to you holding your hand. "Mi amor everything's going to go great! I know it." He says, having the biggest smile on his face. this was the day he had been so excited for. Soon one of the nurses comes in and begins the ultrasound. but soon all of that excitement had died down, when the look on her face quickly changed and she had excused herself from the room. Leaving you with this gut-wrenching feeling, of horrified. You look to your husband and both of you shared the same expression. "I'm sure it's fine" he says, trying to assure you. but you both know... Before you know it one of the doctors comes in. and the look on their face is not anything good. "Ms and Mr parry. I really hate to break this bad news but.... It seems that you had a miscarriage..." the doctor says, and it takes everything you had not to breakdown right then and there. "I'm sorry for your loss. One of the nurses will be in with you soon to go over everything" she says before she leaves you 2 alone. Looking to your husband, he's trying his hardest not to cry too. "I- how.... We've done everything we should have." He says, trying to find some sort of an excuse. Gripping your hand even tighter, he gets up and leans a kiss on your forehead. "We've tried so hard... I just don't understand." He whispers in your ear. As he held your hand tight.

When Rudy found out he took a couple weeks off work to be with you. As you were now his only priority, and he had to make sure you were okay.

You and Rudy had actually kept this secret for a while. as you guys were grieving a horrible loss, you'd preferred to stay quiet. You decided not to tell anybody not even Alejandro until you couldn't keep it a secret anymore.

A few weeks after. he had actually called Alejandro to take all of the baby stuff for him and his wife since they were expecting. and a part of Rudy was jealous, even though he was happy to see his best friend starting his own family. a part of him couldn't help but ask himself why? why it couldn't have been you and him.

Anytime you and him would go to the store and if there was a baby section he would always point to it and go "look mi amor... Maybe it's a sign for us to try again?" He would say hopeful, because this man really deep down just wanted to be a dad.

Something that you didn't know was Rudy always kept an ultrasound picture in his vest pocket. Even now after the baby was gone he still does. it's a little reminder for him of what he's fighting for. even if he didn't get the chance to meet that little of bundle of joy in this life, He hopes he can in another.

And that's going to be the end for this. I hope you all enjoyed this little HC, it was a random thought and I just knew I had to do it. (Also but for some reason doing the actual HCs were so difficult like my mind went blank when I got to them 😭) Also And happy late Thanksgiving for all the people who celebrate. anyways I hope you are having a good day/night wherever you are. Reblogs, comments always appreciate it 🖤

Tags: @alexkellersleg @macravishedbymactavish

@walker33961

[getmehighonmagic]

omg ok I am so excited about literally ALL of the wips on your list but which one are YOU most excited about/haven't gotten to talk about yet???????? I WOULD LOVE ANYTHING SNIPPETS/DETAILS/VISUALS/VIBES ANYTHING!!!!!!!! <333 xx

ok ok ok I fucking loooove this!

So, there's two that I'm most excited about right now!

This one I'm writing on every day and I lie awake at night thinking about them. I've got this entire story mapped out, the first chapter is done. I plan on writing about 4 chapters and oh my god, I'm having the most fun working it all out. I came up with this story while doing the dishes and listening to San Francisco by Niall Horan and now I'm absolutely fucking obsessed. They're soulmates, they fall in love at first sight, followed by heartbreak and suffering, but there will always be a happy ending. Hopefully it'll be done soon!

“Kiss me,” he blurts out. He has to suck his cheeks between his molars and bite down hard to stop himself from cringing, because it really does sound insane, but he suddenly wants nothing more than for Alex to kiss him. He’s in a foreign country, in a place where he has all the privacy in the world. He’s alone, in the dark, under the stars, with a man so attractive it makes his skin prickle and he wants to be kissed. He wants to be swept off his feet. For once, Henry just wants to be something to someone.

This one here? This is my baby. FirstMarine will forever be my baby and this is the story in which I give Luke the happily ever after he deserves, even though he had to go through a lot of shit to get there. I've almost finished writing chapter 3, so this one is coming along nicely, but it's a bit of a slow burn, so it might take a while to finish it. Eeeee I could talk about this all day, haha! ♥

Luke ends up coming over almost every day, and if he’s not nestled under a blanket in Alex’s window seat with a book or his laptop and with Buddy at his feet, he’s texting Alex book recommendations or memes he finds funny. Alex has also discovered that Luke prefers tea over coffee, which means that he now owns a box full of various types of tea, sitting right beside his own coffee collection in the cupboard above the sink. Alex likes it; the fact that he’s not alone all the time anymore. He did make that choice consciously when he moved back to Austin - to concentrate on work and his own mental health for a while - but he hadn’t realized how much he missed having someone to share his brain worms with. He also likes Luke’s laugh when he says something especially silly. He doesn’t know why, but it feels like a unique thing to witness; like Luke doesn’t laugh like that all that often. He feels privileged to be exposed to it and he won’t admit it out loud, but it’s definitely the reason why he sometimes says silly things on purpose.

I am also incredibly exited about kinktober this year! I've got 3 stories finished, 2 halfway there and 9 more outlined, so it's gonna be hella good!

Snippet from #18: Thigh riding:

“You’re not wearing underwear,” Nora pants against June’s lips, a statement that makes her stomach flutter and her pussy throb. “You’re in my office, rubbing up on me, and you’re not wearing underwear.” June giggles and breaks the kiss, before hiding her face in the crook of Nora’s neck. “You’re very observant today.” Nora growls and turns her head to sink her teeth into June’s earlobe, just beneath the gold of her earring. “Don’t get cheeky with me,” she warns, slipping a hand up the back of June’s skirt to cup one of her perfectly round, warm cheeks. “I think,” June murmurs, kissing up Nora’s neck, “that being cheeky is going to get me exactly what I want, right now.”

Thank you for asking, this was fun! ♥♥♥

[lavender-sunhaven]

So how do we feel about that update

because I'm obsessed

Sheds are changing my life. This is exactly what I wanted. I'm so happy.

(this got really long so I'll put my thoughts under a read more! spoilers for, the update I guess!)

I am speedrunning sheds immediately. I have already found some places to set them up and figured out how I can fit my entire crafting operations into 2 sheds. Now I just need to move over all the stuff in the chests in my one barn so that I can replace it with the shed and put the barn elsewhere.

Then I can use shed 3 for storage as I've wanted so badly so I don't need nearly so many hecking chests everywhere. Shed 4.... I actually don't know what I'll use it for yet. I actually have options! Maybe I will dress it up like a cute little room, or keep some of my pet collection in it, or fill it with stuffed animals, or see if I can make a cute little flower shop like Lavender would want.... I'm excited. I have options again. And assuming I can find somewhere else to put my other barn, that opens up a lot for me.

Also the barn upgrades are great. They don't take up any more space than before, they look cool, sure they give me more junk that I have to remove to fit more animals in but that's always the truth so it's neat. Now I have... ladders I guess. But I can store them in my shed!

But also. Nel'Vari barns. I am. SO excited

the moment I saw. that they had added in a frog barn animal. I knew. I would need Nel'Vari barns immediately. I love him I need 10 of these things right now immediately

All the new animals are so cute! I'm excited to get stuff set up so that I can put them places and gain their resources.

To that end, though, I realized that Nel'Vari barns were going to require me to actually do Progression that I hadn't done yet (because so far I hadn't really found anything I wanted that required Nel'Vari mines stuff. I knew I wanted to get there sooner or later, but just... didn't need to yet). I have a fire under my butt again and I'm actually making progress which feels amazing. Trying to seriously manage multiple farms is going to be a problem but what I really need to find a spot to do a massive amount of wheat production which will help with all the barns. It'll be complicated, but I'll figure it out.

uhhhhh oh yeah more RNPCs happened. They're cool! I like Kai, I've met him and I like his stuff so far as I've seen it. I haven't met Vivi yet but I can't WAIT to forcefully befriend her. Wesley is... Wesley. I'm happy for him. I'll befriend him eventually, probably while I'm in the middle of running around Nel'Vari doing mine stuff.

The house customization I haven't been able to play a lot with yet but I will more when I have my sheds figured out and money to waste. Playing Mix and Match should be fun, and I'm glad they're planning to put out more in the future! Even more stuff to look forward to~

Also now sometimes ghosts come and water my crops and I love them. Me and the ghosts are buds.

But also... this list... ohhhh man this list. I love this list. I'm p excited for most things on it but ESPECIALLY Farm Structures and WG and NV fruit trees. I LOVE fruit trees. I have a whole orchard section on my farm. Passive income is my JAM. Black market? Birthday? MORE RNPCs? I'm looking forward to all of these so much. Race-based dialog I know is something a lot of players have been looking for for a long time so I am interested to see how that gets put in! More dialog is generally good and they seem to have the personalities of the characters pretty well in hand so hopefully they'll just be fun fluff things and Lavender will finally be able to relate to Kitty and Catherine and they'll be best Amari buds forever (And then with Vivi too!)

Anyways I just wanted to spew my thoughts everywhere for a bit because I've been having so much fun again. Tell me your thoughts! Anything you don't like? What do you want to see in the future?

Bonus: Claude continues to have a hard time fighting the vampire allegations.

[mermaidsirennikita]

I'm actually a little worried over the fact that Bridgerton is gonna be the standard for period dramas nowadays, like, that's how period dramas are gonna look like (and I'm not even talking about the diversity part, I'd ve very happy with a show actually giving poc people the protagonism they deserve and not call it diversity and having the only White character to be the main character of the whole show) we have things like The Buccaneers and that horrible Emma film Netflix made and wonder if that's the quality we are gonna have now

Mr Malcom's List was amazing, I love everything about that film, it was so well done

Honestly? I'm not that worried about it. Period dramas have always been hit or miss for me, and I think that while big hits always have an impact on their genres, they often don't have as massive an impact as we may think--because shows that try to follow them underperform, tastes change, and other big hits happen.

An example I'd think of is The Tudors, which... I'm not gonna lie to you. Like it or not, is probably one of the most impactful, if not THE most impactful period dramas we've seen in the past 20 years. It revived the idea of the high end period piece soap for an American audience--and it reminded people that period pieces don't have to be Masterpiece, BBC, ITV, whatever. They could be super sexy and super dramatic and super bloody. You didn't have to be a stickler for history.

That show got a lot of viewers and a lot of buzz--and honestly, it went a long way towards launching the careers of Henry Cavill and Nat Dormer. Showtime tried to replicate it with The Borgias, but obviously had much less success there. HOWEVER, I always think it's a little unfair that GoT gets credit for making period pieces hot again when a) it's not a period piece and you can tell its core audience doesn't associate it with those because of how much they talk about the dragons and the ice zombies and b) The Tudors had already stoked that flame, and then the general Tudor frenzy grabbed onto it, which is why Starz has been able to get mileage out of its PGregs/Tudor-general shows for so long. THOUGH! I hope the flopitude of their last Elizabeth show means they slow up.

You see other mini trends too--Vikings was a big hit, and because of that you got The Last Kingdom and its ilk and Vikings: Valhalla. Vikings really was nothing like The Tudors, aside from the fact that it had somewhat explicit sex for its network (nothing like The Tudors, but still) and centered on a piece of shit who treated women like garbage and needed!!! Sons!!!!!!!! It walked through a door I think The Tudors left open, but it wasn't as clear a followup as The Borgias or the PGregs shows were.

So while I think Bton is obviously having an impact, as seen with Buccs, I'm not worried about its long term impact. I HOPE we see more diverse period dramas continue to be a thing, though I feel that really is less a thing we can thank Bton for (see: Mr. Malcolm's List) and more a trajectory that was brewing already. I mean, Shondaland had technically already done it with Still Star-Crossed, a show I didn't like... at all. But it was diverse.

I mean, shows like Mary and George on the horizon are nothing like Bton and hopefully (if they're good) will have an impact. I think we're slooooowly seeing the rise in more explicit, less woebegone period dramas (not movies) centering queer people. Gentleman Jack got cancelled, obviously, but I think it still made strides on that front, and Mary and George will obviously be very queer but also very much not a "sad queer man is closeted and sympathetic but doomed" narrative. We haven't seen many shows depict a man actually using his sexuality to get ahead the way women are often depicted doing in shows like The Tudors--and at his mother's urging, versus his father's as is usually the case with a narrative like Anne Boleyn's.

Things just come and go in waves. I mean, watch The Artful Dodger if you're super worried about more romantic period dramas, it was so fucking refreshing. I do kind of wonder if the romance in that show was upped BECAUSE Bton had success, but it's so much better than anything they offered, all the while focused on a period of history we never see in international TV (1800s Australia), doing a fun little revamp of a classic story (Oliver Twist), with a diverse cast and a focus on like... medicine? But medicine in a way that feels less procedural and more narrative? Medicine and THEFT? Medicine and Theft and Kissing? And putting a salve on her inner thigh and blowing on it in an alley? And sexual tension during medical exams? (The 30 seconds of Jack and Belle tensing while he sits behind her and listens to her heartbeat in her darkened room after she strips out of her dress is better than anything Bton offered in two seasons.)

And additionally--if books are any indication, I actually don't know that Bton is having that big an effect. Historical romances are going through a slump right now; the most Bton has done is push Julia Quinn's books and offer a "if you like Bton" comp for some books, which...

Yes, Buccs got renewed, but I don't know that it... has had much of an impact? I don't see it mentioned much on social media, which could be my circles, but I also don't see it mentioned much on sites that normally push streaming shows, so. I don't know. I've yet to see a Bton acolyte (and there have been few) actually make an impact and stick around the way some of the Tudor spawns did, or the way shows that followed Vikings did, for that matter.

[scarfacemarston]

hey, im sorry if this is a bit random, but i was wondering if you happen to know some good western/cowboy books to read? I know this isnt what your blog is about, but since youre so well read about the time period these types of stories are set in, i was thinking you might know some good literature about it. A lot of the books i keep seeing pop up in people's lists seem pretty heavy with the casual misogny, or the lists themselves are called "best western novels for men" as if thats not a genre that already heavily centers and caters to mens stories, or come from sites like theartofmanliness which i just cant take seriously for obvious reasons. You seem a lot more like the type of person i would take recommendations from for reading material than a middle aged white dude writing from his "man cave" who votes republican. It doesnt strictly have to be fiction, historical memoirs would also be good!

If you feel you dont have any recommendations for me, its cool i know this isnt what you blog about. Thank you for all the hard work you have done for this fandom, for providing historical context about the time period the games are set in, and for always sticking up for abigail, youre doing the lords work in the hellish landscape that is sometimes the rdr2 fandom (not here so much, mainly reddit and youtube from my experience). Thnx

Hey! Thanks for the ask. I'm so sorry to disappoint you, but I haven't read a book for fun since I started graduate school in 2019. Not a single book. Reading so many textbooks, academic books and articles just made me too exhausted to read anything for fun. ( I plan on catching up on reading lists once I graduate! Hopefully, this December or April, depending on my final thesis. I can try to do some research for you, if you'd like! I find that female authors can be really disappointing as well. They can be just as flowery and unrealistic as well as misogynistic. I'm honored that you'd come to me and trust me with recommendations. Truly touching that I've become someone that you can rely on. I really wish I could help more off the top of my head, I just have been too stressed to read for fun. I'm sorry. I can try to do some research! One thing I had to do while working on state parks was recommend books to read, both fiction and non fiction and I had no idea about those books. I just researched them, so I can try to do the same for you! I actually have 45 out of 100 pages done so I'm trying to fit in more fun things to do since I have momentum. : ) Let me see what I can do! No guarantees, though. EDIT: I see you mentioned historical memoirs! I think I have a few of those!

[redadm1ral-moved]

Fanworks Friday Flash Rec List

Hey y'all! I decided to do something I haven't done before and put together a quick and dirty Modern Warfare rec list for @onlycodcanjudgeme's Fanworks Friday! This list is in no particular order, and I'll be linking each author's AO3 profile—if you're an author whose work is listed here and you have socials you'd like me to add links to, let me know and I'll edit it in!

This is gonna be a short one, and a bit of a mixed bag, but hopefully you'll find something you like! When jumping into a fic (especially in the COD fandom), remember to heed the tags, and be sure to leave a kudos and/or a comment on the fics you read! To preserve y'all's dashboards, I'll be sticking my recs under a readmore.

Without further ado, here's a handful of fics I recommend!

Thanatos Denied by UrgentOrange

*MW3 AU* After their nearly fatal encounter with Shepherd, Soap and Price are forced to lie low in Afghanistan, but soon find themselves on the run from former allies.

Thanatos Denied is one of my favorite fics, one that I definitely recommend you give a shot! It's a MW3 AU that takes place immediately post-MW2, following Soap and Price while they survive the fallout of the events of MW2. (Classic trilogy, obvs).

With 28 chapters and over 120k words, it's the longest fic on this list, but a worthwhile read for sure. Heed the tags with this one; it can get pretty heavy.

2. The Barracks (Part 1) by doberman

The Barracks is a military-inspired inn based within Hereford, England, where good friends Soap and Ghost work. One day during his lunch, Soap sketches a handsome stranger in his journal. What he didn't know was that this stranger would later come to not only save him, but impact his life in more ways than one.

The first in a series of fics by the same name, The Barracks is a slow burn, strangers to lovers Soap/Price AU! It deals with some heavy themes, but is overall a light read! It's also a little over 31k words long, with 12 chapters.

The series has 3 parts, with the next two parts focusing more on Ghost and Roach's relationship. Part 3 is still in progress, with its last update being in 2021. I definitely recommend giving it a shot if coffee shop AU-adjacent romance is your thing!

3. mushroom by isototes

Glowing bright, flashing, climbing the sky. Yuri sighs.

yuri handles coping by smoking and playing 4d chess with his bestie

Mushroom is a short, sweet 700-ish word Makayuri oneshot that takes place in the aftermath of the nuclear detonation in MW1, focusing on Yuri's reflection of the bombing and his building resentment toward Makarov. If you're like me and really like sitting inside a character's head (and Makarov-flavored fucked up-ness), this is a great read!

4. Desk Duty by Otter_Lukas

Captain John "Soap" Mactavish really likes your work ethic and tends to treat you to favors when you finish your work.

And finally, to round out this list, Desk Duty is a Soap/male!reader smut fic, clocking in at just under 3k words long. It's pure smut from the very beginning, so definitely something I'd only recommend for mature readers (18+).

What stood out to me is the male!reader: Otter_Lukas' reader-insert fics usually feature a male or gender neutral reader, which is something I deeply appreciate as a dysphoric trans man who loves reader inserts but can't always read them! If you're like me and crave reader insert fics, but don't want to get misgendered, give Desk Duty (and any of the author's other reader insert fics) a shot!

[throwaway-yandere]

it is i, 🕯️ anon, back again to flex on how bad i am at matchmaking wassup yo-- i haven't done any assignments rn if you see me online in genshin, no you don't (honestly i'm just afk and i'm writing an article rn while sobbing tf out--)

ANYWAYS, i got my candidates ready here- you probably won't know some of them but oh well it do be like that sometimes-

this matchup is a romantic(?) one i suppose (help i am not good at romantic set ups i just angst help), let's just keep it limited to genshin only. if it were only in genshin, its either.... damn.. cant think of anyone, so i'll just list down the top 3 i could think of.

1. in first place is Dainsleif, yes, i suppose i can spoil you with this one. the passion and the priniciples (and death flags) he has prob got you sobbing on the floor. he is the type of person who would think about debts too???

dain, handing you a lunchbox: you brought me lunch yesterday so i got some of this for you

you, sobbing: how much is that, that looks expensi--

dain: that's homemade and payment for yesterday, pls accept.

in emotional sense (a different way), i dont know how dain reacts to doubts and how he comforts people, does he only use words? use actions? does he inspire you to the point that those doubts are overwhelmed with motivation? no matter what it is, dain is not a heartless man, he will surely be patient with you. he is the type of person who loves you for who you are, no matter what your flaws are, such love so tender and genuine, he would be a gentle lover for sure.

2. the second one isnt a meme okay (yes it is), for some reason i could see you being compatible with gentle ones, and diluc sure fits that criteria, albeit inferior to dain in one rank.

he and dain are almost similar in actions (because i am not creative and my brain cells are spent on my assignments) but he would be a clumsy one. bet you'd be the first (and hopefully his last), he is quite careful not to ruin your relationship because he knows full well that one relationship that is built slowly thru some many years can be destroyed in just one day, and because of how he wants to perfect anything, he would be quite clumsy at that too. diluc is also a patient man (and a sly mfer fatui got no chance) and is quite understanding, hes the type who will surely spoil tf out of you by making something (because you will surely reject anything he buys with mora)

but of course, he has his own baggage to deal with, but its not like it affects your relationship so badly that both of you will feel like you're walking on thin ice. its just there. for angst purposes.

3. because i want chaos: haitham. no more context.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

You think its done? HAHA NO ITS NOT I HAVE FEW MORE--

Yeah like just few more dw??

let's start with someone i bet you'll have a hard time getting along with-- ("aint this a MATCH up??" YEAH and it didnt specify if it should be compatible--) my boi chung myung!

actually, this is a platonic matchup, mainly because i can never see him in a romantic relationship (despite looking like wei wuxian). he is very dedicated to his craft (to the point of self-destruction), very loyal to his sect and has principles he stick to (like a stubborn no thoughts brain empty). he's chaos himself-- even have the nickname mount hua's mad dog (lol) and mfer punches bitches left and right, so you have a 50/50 chance of either becoming his victim (wait thats a 100 percent chance-) or making him worse.

he sounds like the worse match ever because i cant bring him to justice. despite his sharp tongue and rough actions, he is actually the type who cares too much, the type who sacrifices too much (even himself) to prevent losing ANYTHING or ANYONE. he strives to conquer all because he once lost everything (mfer that quote of his made me sob like a baby), if he was your friend, he will be the type who will undoubtedly make you better (even thru uhh violent methods), a great pillar/support, he seems like the type who would try to reach the stars and you'll end up being inspired and influenced to do the same.

also he got grandpa agenda going on lmfao

Okay few more-- phew. Yknow what, lets just summarize it down to make it quick.

1. shen qingqiu! (platonic matchup) he def needs your help, you'll be his "how to survive being tracked down by a yandere", dramatic af, if you two are friends he would be your beta reader and he is not afraid to say the truth-

sadly he is dense as fuck. goodluck. god bless.

2. lloyd fronterra (platonic matchup). if you both are besties then its gonna be the end of the world. enjoy your money making shenanigans. he would def support you plagiarising harry potter in another world. besties? or worsties?

3. baek chun (platonic matchup) idk lol because you need a leash to calm the mad dog down, he is the leash (unfortunately for him), also enemies to besties frfr, punch him in the face frfr, honestly i dont know what im saying anymore??? he is a very nice friend (post-humbled era) (i have more to say about this guy, just say he is 50-80 percent kin of yours, idk how?? its just a feeling-)

4. her <333 because you deserve the best <33

i have so much more but my brain isnt really braining rn oh well guess i'll perish.

also here

not a matchup lmao just him staring at you

(ask referring to this post)

I...

"let's keep it limited in genshin" top ten best lies phitre had ever spoken–

This is a phcking ride to read my bestie. 6 years of friendship with this woman @a-dose-of-phitre. Half a decade + one extra year. Four more years and I'm jumping in a casket while this guy puts wheels on it and let my rotting corpse wander the earth.

Also love how you start with a worstie before the platonic matchups lmfao

Don't know him but based on how you described him I'd definitely be besties with Shen Qingqiu if his hobby is getting tf away from a yandere lmao... And i also need a beta reader. It's a good deal.

Are you sure Lloyd and your besties and we're just mutual friends

"50-80 kin"– alright mfers we finally found a guy ansy can relate to. Hello Baek Chun–

(btw the last sentence made me snort so much mfer. I phcking thought you'd let me be platonic friends with Ayato you lil sht.)

Y'all cant make me soft for dain and then suddenly go "yeah you're not THAT compatible" hdjxjwHEJSJAHAHAHAHWH YOU BEECH–

Dainsleif is such a gentle lover but alas he is not The One ™️😔 even I know that. But I take solace that there's a possibility we'd be besties and that's it lmao

ANSWER ME, PHITRE GIVE ME THE TRUTH–

Edit: yOU BEECH

I DIDN'T REALIZE THE DAIN PIC WAS HIM GETTING KILLED BY MY OC WITH THE PHCKING BROOM AGAIN 💀💀💀💀–

[owlseeingchaos]

Welcome to the blog!

I'm Owlkhemy (she/they preferred, but no real issues with anything else)!

As I've stated back on my main @owlkhemy, I don't like to get too fandomy on main. So here's a non-main blog for me to fangirl in! Yay!

As with my other blogs, general warning here for the bucketloads of swearing I tend to do. Also a warning that some of my interests get a little... dark or heavy on occasion, so I'll do my best to tag them accordingly. If there's something I've forgotten, please let me know! I love tagging stuff properly.

A long, loooong list of all the stuff I'm a fan of is below the cut. I'll be updating it as I go along and inevitably add things I've forgotten. I'm willing to talk about any of these, so feel free to pop into my askbox!

(Anything with a blue asterisk is something I haven't actually read/played/watched all of, so please be patient with me if I get something wrong. In most of these cases, I've done a thing I like to call "consuming by proxy" - I've read a wiki extensively or watched a Let's Play or something.)

The "current fandom nonsense" indicator in my blog description is which one you're probably going to incessantly see for a while.

Queue is set to 4 posts a day. Initially I was going to say "hopefully it's enough", but more and more I've come to find that I actually don't do enough browsing on here to keep up with much more than that...

You will very quickly find out which characters are my favourite in everything. For the sake of your sanity, don't question why that might be too much in most cases...

The Long-Ass List of All My Interests!

Video Games:

Super Mario Bros. and its various subseries

Sonic the Hedgehog (I've only played the Genesis games, Heroes, Colors, Unleashed, and the "Storybook Series")

Crash Bandicoot, particularly the Radical games and Nitro-Fueled

Namco arcade games (my top four are Mappy, Sky Kid, Phozon, and Bosconian, so I'll probably focus on those)

Petz, especially Petz 5. I have a sideblog for my Petz nonsense, @owlkhemys-creturs.

I also like Petz Dogz/Catz 2. I had Petz Dogz 2, but they're literally identical except for dogs or cats.

Pac-Man, especially Pac-Man World (mostly PMW2, PMW3, and World Rally, which I've played more of than the first PMW)

Undertale* and Deltarune

Minecraft

Spyro the Dragon (I've played the demo of Ripto's Rage, most of Enter the Dragonfly, and quite a bit of A Hero's Tail)

Star Fox, probably mostly 64* (it's on the list! I Will be playing it at some point! I practically have to or else I'll die at this point /j)

Yume Nikki* (also on the list; done extensive wiki reading and watched the occasional gameplay clip)

Bejeweled, especially Bejeweled 3.

Kirby* (I've played a bit of 64)

The Legend of Zelda (I put 5-10 hours into my roomie's copy of Tears of the Kingdom and have plans to play Ocarina of Time and Majora's Mask)

No Straight Roads* (also on the list; I've done a good amount of wiki reading)

Team Fortress 2* (also on the list, but not an urgent one; wiki reading)

Speedy Blupi/Eggbert, which I played constantly as a kid

Bendy and the Ink Machine* (did extensive wiki reading)

Dislyte (I've long stopped playing but it's very interesting still)

Cuphead* (wiki reading, plus i was really into Casino Cups)

Cult of the Lamb* (watched a playthrough)

Web Series:

ENA

Happy Tree Friends* (I've only seen a few episodes, but I did read the entire wiki at one point)

I have passing interest in analog horror, even though I'm both an absolute scaredy-cat and dysprosophobic

Webcomics:

Awful Hospital

I also used to be a pretty avid reader of Handplates

Other internet stuff:

I also have a passing interest in lost media

I spend a lot of time on TV Tropes (unfortunately), mostly to absorb random facts

Other stuff in general:

Gravity Falls remains the only show I watched as a child that still has a bit of a grip on me, so the occasion content from that will pop up here.

Real life:

Science. I'm literally about to get my bachelor's. Emphasis on biology and chemistry, because physics and I have a mutual respectful hatred of each other.

Birds, especially owls (as my various usernames would suggest)

Insects and arachnids

Opossums

Really, just wildlife in general, actually?

Space.

Photography

Art

Music

Writing

I haven't read any books in a hot minute, but I like fantasy and sci-fi

[dzpenumbra]

12/8/22

Today was tricky. I don't have good words for it honestly.

I woke up late, meaning I slept in and caught up on sleep. Not gonna beat myself up over that, not healthy. I called the vet, they wouldn't prescribe the sedative for my cat until after my first visit... and my first visit was supposed to be a blood draw... but they were actually super nice about it and worked with me. I should get a call from my old vet tomorrow about this, hopefully they can call in a prescription, otherwise I'll have to bring her in for a routine visit and then do the blood draw at a different date. Either way, I'll get it worked out.

It was just a bit emotionally difficult because Max actually puked this morning. Not sure why, I'm afraid it's because she was really hungry because I was late feeding her, because I slept in. But I'm not a doctor. I just told myself that reasoning to protect myself from thinking about her potentially being sick. She looks fine and healthy, just... cats don't normally vomit, not like dogs. So yeah. That was a difficult start to the day. I'll mention it on my appointment.

I got one of my dumb chores out of the way - putting a label in my mailbox so that they know who lives here now. It was really easy and I got it done quick, while strolling through the hallways in a wife-beater, barefoot, smelling like exotic essential oils, eating an apple, in fucking mid-December. Because I'm totally a normal human being like all of you, I promise.

After that, I learned how to tune my djembe. I have never taken the time to do that, and that poor thing is ancient and has like... been out in the rain and left in cars and shit, I'm shocked it's in as good condition as it is. I tightened the skin a bit and I think it sounds better, I just don't really feel comfortable playing it to test it, I'm still nervous about upsetting neighbors.

This was my lead-in to working on a musical arrangement. I was really inspired to do an acoustic cover of an After the Burial song. I love their rhythmic grooves and I think they'd translate over to acoustic hand-drums pretty well. At least I hope, only way to tell is to try. I put a few hours into arrangement, splitting the drums into djembe, taiko and etc cymbals (still haven't gotten that figured out fully). Then arranged it for 2 acoustic guitars in Open C# and a bass. So... if all goes according to plan... I should be able to cover this myself, even if I have to do electric drums.

I got a decent chunk done, then I had to do my therapy appointment. And it was regrettably the first bad therapy appointment I've had with this guy. Not to his fault, he's great and he meant well the entire time. He was overwhelmed, and was very upfront about it. We got onto a topic that was difficult for me (but that I had brought up several days ago after the giant fight with my parents): work and money. It triggered me. And I didn't express it out loud. I just rode the wave, I guess. Tried to navigate the emotional rapids. I started tearing up like halfway through, which is like... really embarrassing to be a grown man who starts crying because he's afraid he's just not competent or well-equipped enough for another form of work other than what he currently does. Like... I'm sorry, I have years of experience here. I have been rejected for every single application I've put in, and most of them because I'm too creative, too emotionally in-touch or too overqualified. Ambition Snowskates (a dream job), a writing job for a company where they review places that you can bring your pets, an animal shelter, the list goes on and on.

Really what gets me is like... I go to people in social services, right? The sector of social work that focuses on helping people get the resources they need to make their life functional. At least, that's my understanding. I've gone to therapists, I've gone to life coaches, I've gone to vocational rehabilitation. All with a very clear vision of what I want to do. It's a very broad range of things I want to do - music, art, poetry, video, animation, podcasts, crafts, whatever creatively inspires me - but it's very clear that I want to have an environment where I am free to strike when the inspiration iron is hot. All I need help with is figuring out how to translate this into money. Because I do not care. Money fucking bores me, it stresses me out, it gets in the way, it's a barrier, not a goal for me. Not only does money not motivate me, it actually immobilizes me. It makes me freak out, it emotionally overwhelms me, which obfuscates my creative focus and puts me in a state where I actually have to take time away from work to recover. It's really detrimental. And my life has really been fucked because of this cycle. I think about money, and I freak out and get emotionally overwhelmed, then I get in a stupid fight about how I'm not making enough money, then I have to take time to emotionally recover, then I open my eyes and a week and a half have gone by and I've done no work, I'm not streaming anymore, the dishes are stacked up chest-high in the kitchen and my beard is 2 feet long. That last part is an exaggeration but you get my point.

No one has been able to help with this. And it's so goddamn hard for me to articulate why this is even a problem, or how it is, or like... how profoundly crippling it's been. But like... the worst part... I feel like I'm just whining. And they wouldn't say it to my face, but I guarantee a lot of people I've talked to about this want to say "wow, don't be so dramatic, just go get a fucking job." Like I'm making excuses to get out of my civic duty of being a laborer for someone else's company. Well, here's my chance to vent, so buckle up. Why the fuck do I want to be a laborer for someone else's company if that same person would not, under any circumstances, support my business even as a customer? Why do I owe it to someone else who decided to open a restaurant or something, who happened to have a social support system that actually believed in them... just because I was not so lucky. Because I have been surrounded by self-absorbed narcissists who don't give half a shit about my health or success, only what they can get out of me. Who just want free shit, or to show off, or to share their music that they like, or to get affirmations or compliments or reassurance, or to just have someone actually listen to them.

See, once I start pulling this money/work thread, I just start unravelling, it's just stitched into every fucking problem in my life. So I started emotionally breaking down during the session. He tried to help, he really did. He referred me to local art resources, pulled up the website and everything and I thanked him like he was on the fucking RMS Carpathia. I like... I know it's not in his job description. So... I just encouraged him to like... help me develop strategies to combat social anxiety so I'd be a little more confident and okay meeting people in my field.

I feel like I have the portfolio of someone fresh out of college or something. I'm 36. I've been working in multimedia art for over 15 years. I feel myself rabbit-holing, I don't need to do this. This, right here, this thought chain... this is impostor syndrome. So, this is me course correcting. I have a lot of diverse artistic talents, and a lot of knowledge from many, many diverse disciplines. Geology, mythology, ancient history, spirituality, music theory, illustration, painting, sculpture, animation, the list goes on and on. Because I have so many diverse influences and such a broad net of creative knowledge, it can make each specific part look... underdeveloped. Like... if I spent the past 15 years just playing guitar. 4 hours a day, every day, for 15 years. I'd be a phenomenal guitarist. But I spread that time out into different things. So that's why I feel like I don't have as much to show for it as others. But I need to remind myself that my diversity and perspective is my strength. It's what makes me unique, as a multimedia artist. But all of this can be hard to like... let someone know within the first 5 minutes of meeting them, and a lot of people want the TL;DR - and there really isn't one.

I've talked about this before and I honestly don't want to relive it right now. The big take-away here is that... I was so caught up in the emotional fog of this... that I didn't let him know that I had uncovered this ghost from my past. That I had unearthed my long-buried diagnosis with ADHD. Which I'm sure anyone who even glances at my MASSIVE several page journal entries would probably go "yeah dude, no shit you have ADHD", but in my eyes, it's still hard to fully process. And again, I still feel like an impostor. I still feel like I'm "tricking myself" into thinking I have ADHD, and I'm sorta like... method acting it. So frustrating.

So... I'm going to send him a message after this to clarify and pass that insight along, which may help him come up with some tools catered to helping someone with unmanaged ADHD regulate. It's a lot of the same tools as anxiety, from my understanding. Meditation, grounding, emotional regulation, but maybe brainstorming more executive functioning stuff. I've been coming up with some crafty life hacks that have been working pretty well, but I'd love to hear a professional's take on it, assuming he's well versed at all. Oh, also, probably a good tell that I have ADHD is that we go overtime like every fucking session because I'm talking the entire goddamn time and feeding him with that energy, and I have like zero perception of time, and he lets me lead. Might have something to do with it! XD

So yeah, after the meeting... I was super upset. Like... really emotional. And I called my mom, and warned her upfront that I was very emotional and it would be helpful if she could help process. She was very kind and did, and we talked about work stuff and she was very encouraging. She was very excited to see the piece I made for my sister-in-law, and to see the write-up I did with it too, telling that individual piece's story, and the science behind how smoky quartz gets smoky colored. I brainstormed doing videos documenting the process of my pieces - in short and long form, short for YouTube, long for Patreon - from finding sticks and stones in the woods to the final product, with me narrating the process and talking about all of the historic, geological, whatever context that goes behind it. To really show how fucking important these pieces are to me, how special they are. And to show my fascination, my obsession, my passion about all of the amazing things behind this.

The story that resonated with my mom was one I told her about a TEDx talk I watched the other day about one of the oldest ceremonial gravesites found in the world, it was like 35,000 years old. And they found like 4,000 carved mammoth tusk beads in there with the dude. And someone actually went through the process of recreating these beads from authentic mammoth ivory just to see how long it would take a skilled individual to make them, and it took him an hour each using primitive tools. Think about that. These were people who like... we don't even know if they had spoken language yet. And they sunk at least 4,000 hours into carving beads that were going to be buried in the ground. Like... That's absolutely fascinating to me. And it speaks to me about the power of making something for the sake of it being... precious. Valued. Sacred. None of these words seem right, and Holy seems really pompous... Special? I don't know, I can't find the right word. There is something so viscerally powerful to me about picking up a stick, carving it with unique designs (even if they aren't referentially meaningful, that's a bonus, honestly), and then... it's no longer "stick". It's "your stick". It's something engrained into our DNA at a primal level. It's something we have been doing for millennia before we were even painting on the walls of caves! And I am blessed to have the freedom to explore this.

Now, take someone who has the passion you just heard, the commitment to learn thousands of different techniques, the resiliency to fuck up a piece that I've sunk hundreds of hours into and to get back up and try again... and put that guy in a car delivering DoorDash for half the day instead of working on this stuff. Tell me that makes sense. Give me a reason that justifies that. Like... I should be teaching college-level classes. And the reason I need to put my time into "a job" to "make money"? So that I can pay my bills. So that I don't die. Not to better my future. Not to utilize my trained skills. So that I don't get evicted, and so that I have food in my cupboard. Call me melodramatic, but this seems like an egregious failing of social structure.

So... I'm gonna keep working on my art. I'm gonna try to get over my shit and post pictures on Instagram. And, most importantly (I think), I'm going to shop around for a mentor. I need to find an artist like me, a multimedia artist. I'm cool being an assistant or whatever. I just need someone connected to show me the ropes and help me find my place. That's really it, I think. I'm nervous, but I think it's excited nerves. Who cares if I fuck up somehow and embarrass myself, at least I tried, and I can try again.

I need to give Max her meds and my hand is actually sore from furiously typing this with no breaks. I need to go.

[tentacle-stylograph]

Wednesday 7 Dec. '22

okay six wid checkins today. starting late, but i got this

12.20 am what i’m doing: reading some notes in Keep and smiling internally at them (friend's comments about some fics / some Invisible Man quotes) is this what i want to be doing: nah if no, what would i rather be doing: continuing my prayers. i'm distracted if struggling to do the above, why, and why do i want to do the above in the first place: what's my next step: __ 7.29 pm what i’m doing: scrolling my favorite posts on tumblr trying to get myself up for working on my final is this what i want to be doing: -sigh- no. no it's not. i've been trying to psych myself up for the last... maybe hour. i need to just get started if no, what would i rather be doing: if struggling to do the above, why, and why do i want to do the above in the first place: what's my next step: well. i'm hungry. hopefully--oh cool, i do have cereal, yay. (genuinely relieved to have some food) -sigh- ...oh, and some frozen pasta and meatballs. also good. ...-sigh- okay. so. prepare some food. then get going on my final. but i have to get up. so put on a playlist, put on my bathrobe 'cause it's cold, and then yeah. food.

7.44 pm what i’m doing: checking my Pinterest notifications is this what i want to be doing: i'm retroactively making this check in and i can say that, at the time of making this check-in roughly twelve minutes later, no, i am not doing what i want to. if i were checking that for only a minute that would have been fine, but that's not the case if no, what would i rather be doing: if struggling to do the above, why, and why do i want to do the above in the first place: what's my next step:

8.02 pm what i’m doing: scrolling TWITTER now. this sucks. i'm getting more upset at myself, and i'm still hungry. i still haven't left my room. i told myself that, no matter what, i'm going for a walk at 9 pm because i NEED to get out of the house. this sucks. is this what i want to be doing: NO. NO NO NO NO. if no, what would i rather be doing: EATING. I WANT TO STAND UP AND EAT. BUT THE MUSIC IS TURNING MY BRAIN TO FUZZ, AND EXISTING IS TURNING MY BRAIN TO FUZZ, AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO if struggling to do the above, why, and why do i want to do the above in the first place: I DON'T WANT TO FAIL ALL MY CLASSES. I'M GETTING MORE UPSET MAKING THIS CHECKIN. I'M GETTING SCARED. I'M GETTING ANGRY. I'M *PISSED* RIGHT NOW AND MY STOMACH IS CHURNING WITH WORRY. I NEED TO GET *UP.* what's my next step: skip to a video in my playlist that'll be helpful (hehe. let's try "send dudes") and please oh please get up and make food

8.22 pm what i’m doing: waiting for my just-microwaved food to cool down in the fridge. reading my Kindle is this what i want to be doing: yes :') if no, what would i rather be doing: if struggling to do the above, why, and why do i want to do the above in the first place: what's my next step:

8.57 pm what i’m doing: ...scrolling my phone photos while sitting in front of my project is this what i want to be doing: no. no, not in the least if no, what would i rather be doing: actually DOING my homework if struggling to do the above, why, and why do i want to do the above in the first place: i'm scared of hurting my hands. i'm scared the picture will suck. i'm scared i'll put my full effort in and not finish on time. i don't need to continue listing things. what's my next step: put on some music, take two ibuprofen, use the bathroom, and go for a walk

9.33 pm what i’m doing: well, now it's 9.35 and i'm getting my shoes on for my walk. i was on the toilet a couple minutes ago is this what i want to be doing: yeah. wishing i'd done this a half hour earlier, but i guess this is how it's going to be if no, what would i rather be doing: if struggling to do the above, why, and why do i want to do the above in the first place: what's my next step:

(i went for a walk like i wanted :') AND I CAUGHT MY FIRST GALARIAN LEGENDARY BIRD. THAT WAS CRAZY. fifth one to show up!!)

10.25 pm what i’m doing: scrolling Instagram is this what i want to be doing: nah... if no, what would i rather be doing: home. work. if struggling to do the above, why, and why do i want to do the above in the first place: :(((( we've already been thru this. maybe if i put on an audiobook... yeah, how about i look up a Hunt for Red October audiobook. check YouTube then Libby. make another plan if there isn't one. what's my next step:

10.43 pm what i’m doing: poopin is this what i want to be doing: shore if no, what would i rather be doing: if struggling to do the above, why, and why do i want to do the above in the first place: what's my next step: ...homework. i hope

11.01 pm what i’m doing: just minimized a messaging app where i messaged a friend one immediate reason why i'm avoiding my assignment and how I'm going to handle that reason is this what i want to be doing: yuh :') if no, what would i rather be doing: if struggling to do the above, why, and why do i want to do the above in the first place: what's my next step:

11.20 pm what i’m doing: plugging in my phone and picking up my second laptop to put it in my bedroom to charge is this what i want to be doing: shore. i just wish i were working on my assignment. got distracted getting to audio on YouTube if no, what would i rather be doing: c'mon. please get going. you're so close. if struggling to do the above, why, and why do i want to do the above in the first place: what's my next step:

11.37 pm what i’m doing: organizing and adding to the playlist i'm HOPEFULLY gonna be listening to is this what i want to be doing: yuh :'0 and i did a portion of homework too!! i just wanted to make sure i'll be able to keep working if no, what would i rather be doing: if struggling to do the above, why, and why do i want to do the above in the first place: what's my next step:

11.55 pm what i’m doing: working on my homework :'D is this what i want to be doing: yeeee TTvTT if no, what would i rather be doing: if struggling to do the above, why, and why do i want to do the above in the first place: what's my next step:

[cloverrover]

Move Already

A/N: So I'm working on the endings that I write, bc they feel abrupt, but I also haven't been writing anything outside of research papers for years so it's a process. Also in the process of writing a part 2 for Avatar Shangqi and hopefully it will be out by Tuesday?

pls pls pls share with others! trying to get my work more out there. Thanks again y'all!!! master list here!

Warnings: none? cuteness feeling maybe, it mad me feel fuzzy and warm

WC: 698

On the rare nights he didn’t go out with Katy, Shangqi would find himself at your place. He had a habit of making it to your place instead of his when he was too drunk to get home since you lived close to Katy. You always joked with him that he should just move in since most of his stuff already made its way over. He’d stutter and blush redder than a tomato before laughing it off. You were only partially serious and knew that he’d accept in his own time, even if those nights didn’t exist as much now that he was an Avenger.

So you cherished the nights even more now. He still wouldn’t move in, and everyone still teased him for it since he already basically lived with you. But you don’t mind it at all. Even in relationships it’s ok to have separate places where you can be alone.

“Hey babe?”

“Hm?” You were on your laptop working on some reports that needed to get done, so you didn’t notice when he came in, nor did you notice he had boxes with him.

“Where should I put my stuff?”

“What do you mean? You already put some stuff here. Besides we didn’t need groceries yet?”

“No I mean where should I put my stuff?”

It was when he emphasized the my that got your attention pulled away from the screen. Shangqi was holding a box while Katy was behind him helping with two more boxes in her hands.

“Oh. Ohhh.” You’re frozen on the couch in shock, not only because he actually decided to move in, but also because he was looking more attractive than normal in a black wife beater tank. And it was pretty damn impossible for him to look better than he already does.

“Um yeah just gimme a sec-” Getting up and walking around the coffee table, you take one of the boxes from Katy and lead them towards your room to help go through them and determine where everything should go. While your place was definitely bigger than his, it still felt slightly small but it was all you could afford.

“Since you already know where all the clothes go, go ahead and get the rest of your stuff with it. Umm I think everything else will be pretty self explanatory but yeah. This is good. This is good.”

More or less muttering to yourself, you start rearranging around, unaware of the soft look the man was giving you. You wouldn’t know it, but he’d wanted to move in for some time, but also didn’t want you to find out who he really was. That was quickly rectified with the bus video and after a very loud ‘discussion,’ you ultimately forgave him for not telling you the whole truth. You didn’t blame him at all, but still got mildly annoyed you’d been calling him the wrong name for the entire time you’ve known him.

Still fluttering around the apartment to make things more official and spacious for him, you remained oblivious to the smile that had taken over his face. He knew this was a big step, despite essentially already having taken the step. But after everything that had happened in Ta Lo, he didn’t want to waste any more time being away from you. Space be damned for all he cared. He didn’t want anything other than you and being with you.

“Hey, relax.”

Walking up to you from behind, he stopped your arms from rearranging the bathroom you had gone to, to move a few things around. Hugging you from behind, he looks at you through the mirror and you lose all tension you had built up thinking of how to make more space. Smiling at each other, you lean your head back on his shoulder and bask in the warmth that the furnace the man seems to be.

“I know it isn’t much, since I already practically lived here. But I’m glad you asked me.”

“Mhm. I’m glad you finally brought the rest of your stuff over.” Eyes closed, the two of you remain in the bathroom, simply enjoying the new found feeling of being whole.

[albertasunrise]

Fat Friend - Part 5

Masterlist

Summary: You were the fat friend. You knew that. Accepted it and got on with your life. You weren't the one guys wanted to date or the one that got hit on at parties. You were, however, Javier Peña's best friend and that made you untouchable. Until he plays matchmaker and your whole life changes.

Relationships: Javier Peña x Lorraine (Mentioned), Original 'Male' Character x Reader

Warnings: Angst... This chapter's pretty heavy folks but shit'll make more sense hopefully...

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

One Month Prior...

Javier was sitting at his father's table scratching into a notebook when Chucho entered, his brow furrowed in concentration when he paused and that's when he caught the older Peña's eye.

"What are you doing?" Chucho enquired as he made his way to the sink to wash away the dirt from his daily duties.

"Writing a list of names I like for the baby," Javier said with a shrug, going back to his task.

"How are things between you?" Chucho questioned and Javier winced "That bad huh?"

"I just keep doing everything wrong." Javier groaned, throwing his pen down and watching it clatter on the wooden surface "The past month I've tried so hard to help her prepare and each time I learn Luke's already done it. Who the fuck does he think he is?"

"Her boyfriend Mijo."

"But I'm the father." He snapped "I should get to help her. Get things ready for when my child arrived but instead Lucas Brown gets to experience that all with her. It's just shit pops."

"It is shit." Chucho agreed "And I do think Luke should back off a little but at the same time, you've hurt her beyond belief and he's helped her start to heal... Are you really all that surprised that she's letting him help her with all this. Her trust in you's broken Javi."

"I've tried dad. I explained why I was so silent when I went back. Apologised for everything and before I went back I did genuinely think we might have turned a corner but then I come back and she's fucking someone else."

He paused, staring at the names that he'd written in his notebook before settling on the one that stood out the most to him. He circled it several times before slamming the book shut and looking at his father again.

"I love her pops." The agent piped up, tears flowing freely now "I love her so much that it's killing me to see her with him. At least with Scott, I knew she was being treated well but with Luke... I know nothing about the guy."

"He's a good kid." Chucho piped up and Javier Scoffed "But if you love her... You need to fight for her."

"I am fighting for her." He argued and Chucho shook his head.

"Not hart enough." He paused, taking in his son's expression before placing the final piece of the puzzle "Go see him."

~

A few weeks later...

It took him a while to find what he was looking for amongst the Myriad of stones that littered his path, each one of them carved with names and some he recognised but most he didn't. When he finally came to a stop at the one he was looking for he took a few steadying breathes before he stepped closer. His eyes scanned over the marble headstone, two roses carved at its head representing your marriage or so he assumed.

Here lies

Scott James Williams

Loving father and Husband

It was a simple piece.

No cliche words about how he'd be missed by all.

No that wasn't Scott, he wouldn't have wanted that. So that's why Javier hadn't come with flowers, he brought a bottle of Scotts Favourite Beer. Molson, the Canadian Budd as he used to call it.

"Hey, brother." He started, looking around and noting there was a bench sat directly behind him "Sorry I haven't come sooner, I uh... Well, let's say I've been busy making a mess of things." Javier let out a breathy chuckle at that "I uh... I wanted to come and talk to you about Pétalo. I kinda fucked things up with her and I think it's partly because I feel like I'm betraying you, man. I'm sabotaging everything because I need your blessing." he paused, shivering at the slight chill that ran through the air before his eyes drifted to the small headstone beside Scotts. This one had a football carved at the top and its base was littered with toys and frames of friends and family.

Here lies

Jacob Javier Williams

The kindest soul to have graced this earth.

"I'm glad you have each other." He said after a moments pause "I um... I suppose I should stop beating about the bush hey?" He let out another awkward chuckle before he signed and scrubbed a hand over his face "I love her Scott. Been in love with her since we were teenagers. Took you two getting pregnant for me to realise that but I knew you were good for her so I left it. Went to Colombia and devoted 7 years of my life to taking down the devil himself. Then I come back and learn that you and Jake have gone and well... Shit Scott it tore me up inside." He paused for a moment to open his beer before continuing "I had this friend in Colombia, Steve Murphy, Hilbilly, you would have liked him anyway, he was the one person that kept me straight and kept me alive out there so I could get back to you all but then you were... you're..." He choked on the words, unable to say them and so he took a long swig of his beer to clear the tightness.

"We sorta became an item when I returned - after she'd kicked my ass about leaving of course - and well we're expecting a baby together. I'm so excited man but I'm also terrified. Terrified I won't be a good father, that I won't do right by her -Oh it's a girl by the way - and terrified that you'll hate me for stealing your wife." He cried then, openly.

Everything he'd been bottling up since returning from Colombia the first time came tumbling out and he sat there for what felt like hours talking to the headstone of his best friend.

"I brought you and Jake something." He said as he pushed himself from the bench he'd been sitting on "You favourite brother." He said as he opened the beer and poured it onto Scottks grave "Enjoy your Canadian Budd." He said before placing the empty bottle beside the headstone "And I got this for you, Jake." He said as he pulled out a stuffed Hippo "I remember you really liked them after I took you to the zoo before I left. You know the guy I went to hunt in Colombia had some pet Hippos. Damn things are causing havoc now." He said as he placed the toy down next to the collection of others "I love you, little buddy." He finished before kissing the tips of his fingers and placing them on the top of his headstone.

"I know you probably can't hear me but I'd really like to know if I have your blessing brother." He said as he stood back from Jacobs grave to stare at Scott's again "I love her, I want to marry and I want a family with her but I can't do it if you hate me so if you could just give me some sort of sign..."

Nothing.

"Figured." Javier scoffed as he shook his head.

He stood there staring at the two of them before he finally left, feeling a little lighter than he had before. He knew that he had to do know, what he needed to say. He just hoped he wasn't too late. So driving to your place, he practised over and over what he was going to tell you. The closer he got, the more nervous he became about how you were going to react but he deserved to say his piece. He'd made mistakes but he wanted to make good.

He was less than ten minutes away when the car hit. Pushing him into further traffic and sandwiching him between two other vehicles then made it impossible for him to move, to get free. As the shock of what happened wore off, the pain came. Excruciating and consuming and as his eyes started to drift he thought he caught a glimpse of someone watching him from outside the car. A face he never thought he'd see again.

"Scott." He whispered before everything went black.

~

One month later...

You'd sat vigil at Javier's side for a month now. Chucho and Luke took it in turns to bring and take the baby but you remained. Chucho would join for a while, pushing you to eat and drink every few hours and to nurse your ravenous child.

"Have you named her yet?" The older Peña asked as he rocked his sleeping granddaughter in his arms, amazed at home much she'd already grown.

"No." You replied "Javier and I need to do that together."

"Mija..."

"He'll wake up and we will do it together Chucho." You growled.

"It's been a month. You need to register her."

"If I register her, I can't put him on the birth certificate."

"You can add him later." Chucho pushed and you snapped.

"I can't leave him Chucho." You growled, "I did this so I need to stay with him."

"How did you do this?" He questioned, his brow furrowed in confusion.

"Well, he was coming to see me wasn't he?" You snapped "If he hadn't been, if I hadn't been so cold to him this past month then none of this would have happened."

"You can't think that way Mija." He said softly as he placed a comforting hand on yours "I want you to see something." He said as he pulled a small notebook from his pocket, careful not to jostle the baby "Here." He said as he opened it to the page in question and handed it to you.

Your eyes scanned the page, a list of names written in what's clearly Javier's handwriting and then your eyes settle on the one he'd circled.

Flor.

Your heart tightened in your chest as you looked at the older Peña.

"You have to register her Mija, you can't put it off any longer but perhaps you can do this for him." He suggested and you smiled, looking down at your daughter in his arms.

"Flor." You said with a nod "I think it suits her."

"I agree."

"Our Little flower."

"I'll stay with him. You make the arrangements to register her." He said and he gave your shoulder a friendly nudge "I'll call you if anything happens."

~

Another month later...

Another month had passed and still no change. He showed no signs of waking but you knew he was still in here. He just needed to rest awhile.

"You should see how big Flor's getting." You gushed as you looked down at the child in question, suckling at your breast as she babbled away "She's a chatty eater too."

"Mumma look." Layla squealed as Luke walked her into the room "I drew Jabi a picture of us all." She held the paper up with great pride as she sprinted to her mum.

At 3 now she was constantly on the go. You could barely keep up with her and you felt guilty for not being there as much as you should have been the first month Javier had been in his coma. Chucho had talked some sense into you though and now you managed to split your time between the hospital and home, even getting some writing in and getting your latest book to the publisher only 2 weeks late.

"That's great honey." You gushed, kissing her head before smiling up at Luke "Hey you." You said as he pecked your lips.

"Can I cuddle Jabi?"

"Oh no honey, he's a little fragile at the moment." You said, smiling when your daughter pushed her bottom lips out and pouted.

"I'll be careful I promise." She pushed "A cuddle might make him better."

You smiled at that. She was just as kind a soul as her brother had been at her age. Always wanting to help, to make people smile and never asking for a thing in return.

"Okay but you need to be mindful of his wires." You warned "And if the nurse says you need to get down then you do okay? Now sulking."

Layla nodded excitedly, grabbed the edge of the bed and then proceeded to jump on the spot in order to get up before Luke finally put her out of her misery. She then carefully moved herself into position. Thank Luke when he gently lifted Javier's arm so she could curl into his side. The sight made you ache. This was all just so wrong.

2 months.

2 months Javier had missed of his infant daughters life so far. She already had such a strong neck and prefered to be in her carrier so that she could look around than in her pram where the world was hidden from her. Her hair had started to curl and you knew she was going to have Javier's hair, probably his eyes too and you so sorely wanted him to wake up. To see this perfect little being that he'd helped create but still, he remained frozen in time. You'd seen the faces the doctors and nurses pulled when they came to see him. You knew he wasn't getting any better. You also knew that the longer he remained this way the less likely he was to wake up at all. You've done your research. Coma patients had a high mortality rate but they didn't seem to want to tell you what was going on.

You just wanted to know what was going on.

"Grampa Chucho came over today." Said Luke as he sat down beside you "Brought a load of baby bits he'd got and has been given by Javi's family."

"That's nice of them." You said sweetly as you moved Flor to your other breast, grinning when she latched eagerly.

"Yeah, they uh... they're all really excited about you two and this baby."

"Us two?" You questioned, brow raising a little.

"I think we both know that you love him, babe." He said, taking you by surprise "'I've been wanting to talk to you about this for a while but it never seemed like the right time."

"About what?"

"That I need to step away from this." He stated, "From us."

"Luke, are you breaking up with me?"

"I love you." He continued, taking your free hand in his "And I'm pretty sure you love me too-"

"I do." You choked, stopping when he help his finger up to stop you.

"But you're in love with him." He paused, giving you a sad smile "You've sat by his bedside every day for two months. I heard what you said to him."

~

Two months earlier...

Alarms blared. Your baby screamed in your arms as doctors flooded the room and pushed you to one side. Then it was a flurry of movement, nurses prepping him and doctors shouting out orders before his body was arching off the bed as they shocked him.

"Javi please." You sobbed, washing as he was shocked again and cradling your daughter close.

She didn't need to see this.

He was shocked again and still, nothing happened. The nurses desperately pumping air into his lungs before the doctors started pumping Javi's bare chest.

"Javi please." You sobbed a little louder, watching his body rock limply as they desperately tried to bring him back "Javier I love you, please... Come back to me." You screamed and then...

Beep. Beep. Beep.

"He's back." The doctor stated and you fell to your knees sobbing.

~

Your heart sunk at the memory. How close you'd gotten to losing him and the pain you'd felt as you'd watched them try and shock his heart into life again.

"I'm not mad baby." He assures you, giving your hand a gentle squeeze "I enjoyed our time together... it was more than I could have hoped for but you need to focus on your family. On him." He continued as he motioned at the unconscious agent in his bed "You owe it to your family to see whether you can make it work. If not... you know where I am." He finished with a wink and you smiled.

"Okay." You nodded.

"Okay."

~

2 weeks later...

Everything returned gradually.

First, it was sounds. Voices and machines created a confusing symphony before he drifted off again.

Sensations returned later. Touches here and there. The uncomfortable feeling of something breathing for him and the feeling of something warm against his side but those sensations were fleeting and soon he was drifting again.

When he was next aware, he noted that the uncomfortable feeling in his throat had gone and was replaced with a cool feeling of air being pushed into his nose.

I'm in hospital then He thought to himself as he tried to zero in on something, anything to pull him to the surface and just when he'd lost all hope, he found it.

A baby's cries.

...

You felt his hand twitch in yours and you were immediately on your feet, placing a furious Flor into her pram before returning your attention to Javier.

"Javi?" You said as you cupped his cheek "Javi can you hear me?"

His eyes fluttered and you let out a wet chuckle as you watched his lids crack open and reveal those beautiful brown orbs that you'd missed so much.

"Hey, you."

He took a little while to come around. Enough time that you were able to get Flor settled and inform Chucho and the world that Javier Peña was awake. You were then forced out as the doctors and nurses did their checks and when you were finally allowed back into the room, the agent was propped up in his bed with a severe expression painting across his face.

"Hey." You pipped up as you gingerly stepped inside and smiled when he turned his head to look at you "How are you feeling."

"Weak." Javier rasped, his voice hoarse from disuse "Tired."

"I bet." You replied, leaning over the pram to check on Flor before making your way to his side "You scared the shit out of me Peña." You mumbled as you perched on the edge of his bed and pressed your forehead against his "I thought I'd lost you."

"I'm here." He breathed, closing his eyes and revelling in the moment "Where's Luke?" He asked when you pulled away and you sighed.

"We broke up." replied.

"Why?"

"Because I'm not in love with him." You stated plainly "I'm in love with you and he could see that."

"But you said..."

"I know what I said and I didn't mean a word of it." You interrupted "I was pissed at you but I treated you horribly and I'm so sorry."

He nodded and you smiled again.

"He gave us his blessing to be together." You continued "Said we should try and see if we can make this crazy family work."

Blessing.

That was the word that brought it all tumbling back.

The cemetery. Scott's grave. The accident. It all came back like a wave pulling him under and your brows furrowed as you watched him fight to make sense of it all.

"Javi?"

"We can't be together." He said and your stomach twisted "I went to see Scott. Asked him for his blessing but he didn't give it." He continued.

"Javi what do you mean he didn't give it?" You pushed "Scotts gone."

"I saw him. I saw him outside the car. Stood there shaking his head at me and he uttered one word to me. One word Pètalo." He said, his whole body trembling as he spoke.

"What?" You asked, cupping his face and pulling it toward you so that your eyes lock "What word Javi?"

"No."

Next

Tags: @hayley-the-comet @mishasminion360 @ajeff855 @pedritomando @supernaturalgirl20 @dihra-vesa @nicolethered @practicalghost @theanothersherlockian @gallowsjoker

[dystopiandilfs]

Dream's discord podcast. Basically him answering questions for 2.5 hours. This will sort of be in order but I fucked up my notes so it might not be in order completely. (From 13th May 2021)

For reference the photos at the end are: A prototype of fidget spinner merch as loads of people asked, a reference photo of his favourite merch and a photo he sent of his hair to prove he wasn't a brunette.

•He said his teeth are mostly straight but he's thought about getting Invisalign. He's never had braces. He has a tiny gap in the left side of his mouth and his canines are longer and sharper (vampire arc). He's never had teeth surgery so has his wisdom teeth still.

•He thinks pineapple on pizza is good.

•He likes seafood like lobster and crab. He had crab made in an air fryer last night. He like peas. He thinks quesadillas are good and likes most food.

•He hates Coffee and most drinks

•The Dream Shorts team is Ken who is his personal reminder (Ken's main job is to spam him with texts so he doesn't forget things as he's got a habit of reading texts and not replying) and also comes up with a list of sets for Dream shorts. The builder is a friend and munchymc builder "his talent gets wasted on Dream's shorts but we pay him so"

•His editors are currently Dizzy, Firesale and Mjcr. Willz doesn't edit for him anymore

•The mask animation isn't done but Mask should be released May 21st. He wants to release them together as "the whole song is a double meaning and the whole nuance will be lost without the animation" but no matter if the animation is done the song is getting released on the 21st.

•He and Sapnap eat together often.

•He and Sapnap prefer medium rare Steak

•He wants a home gym it's something he's willing to splurge on. They currently have a weight rack but they haven't even set it up.

•"Eat the rich? Shut up shut up" - Dream

•Talked about money basically saying "Most people don't understand how money works I don't have millions in my bank account it's in assets like merch, land and warehousing for that stuff" (He's not in his landlord arc)

•He's been debating Pride Merch because of Rainbow Capitalism. He doesn't want it too be seen as a money maker and if he does most proceeds would go to charity. He's currently super busy merch wise with Sapnap joining and George in the middle of joining. He did say "Only if the LGBTQ+ community in this community wants it" He thinks he's going to at least change the merch website to a pride one. Sapnap wants to make pride merch including a rainbow flame on his.

•He wants to create a charity that's centered around helping LGBTQ+ one day because he thinks that there's a lack of them. He mentioned that creating a charity was expensive and took a lot and was a complicated process including a board of directors but he wants to do it someday.

•He wanted to buy a bunch of houses in Florida which was a service to house mostly LGBTQ+ youth and people stuck in abusive households for free to get them out of bad home environments. But he didn't because he didn't want people thinking he was profiting of of abuse victims and LGBTQ+ community.

•He said he's terrible with time management and replying to people which is why Ken helps him (and also helps George and Sapnap). He mentioned how Sam messaged multiple times and Dream just forgot to answer but felt bad "I feel like people think I hate them..... Cause I'd be mad if people did that to me"

•He tries to reply to a few texts a day (community number). He also can't do birthday messages everyday because you can only reply at certain times so it's not abusing the system so if you get one it's special. He said he does try but it's got a weird time gap.

•Him and the manhunt winner are trying to come up with a good time to film

•He wants to stream this MCC on twitch and says his team is good.

•He talks about why he's not partnered with Twitch. Basically Twitch has a lock rate (in which you make money) and you legally can't stream on YouTube. So legally if Tommy wanted to stream on YouTube he couldn't. Someone then mentioned how Bad is a twitch partner but still streams on YouTube "Bad streams on YouTube but he has for a while and I don't think that he cares" - Dream

•He likes to reply to every donation he gets on stream and feels bad when he doesn't so he'll turn them off when he streams and wants a platform deal where he can be payed to stream (not twitch). If he gets a streaming partnership he will stream a couple of times a week. He looked in to Facebook but they don't have an alias system meaning you can see everyone's actual Facebook account and personal info, he doesn't like seeing real names on Facebook so it would require a lot of altering if he was to stream there so he's thinking it's probably going to be YouTube.

•He was asked about if his demographic was what he expected and he said he went in with no expectations, he didn't even know what stans were, wasn't really on social media so he wasn't aware of the fan culture. "You guys are a handful sometimes but it's worth it"

•He also mentioned how he and the DreamSMP changed the twitch audience demographic. It used to be male dominated in both streamers and audience and now it's almost split which is unheard on.

•He has 5 fidget spinners in his house. Two in his bedroom. Two in his office. One in the living room.

•He likes his Minecraft skin as he thinks the arm is cook and you never see the rest of his skin really. He says it's unique and different and "me". Dream: You can't even tell half the skins apart on MC.

•He's not lost the motivation to stream. Most of the times if he wants to stream he gets George or Sapnap to do it and he just turns up. It's more beneficial to them as they have donos and subs on. (Don't we fucking know it "can you say hi to")

•He has listened to Lovejoy. Says the ep was great and they're very talented and awesome. Doesn't know what his favourite song is but probably would pick One Day because the chorus slaps.

•RIP to acoustic Roadtrip. He said instead of acoustic Roadtrip we get Mask so no losses today for Dream stans.

•"With Roadtrip I went to Parker and I said Hey I have a story I want to tell through music. I have no experience with that can you help me" He said sure. He crafted the music and melodies and how things are formed where it's catchy. I have less comfort singing that. I love the song and it's my song, it's very representative of me and I'm sure I could sing it but it's a song I'd be kinds of scared to sing live, with Mask I basically did everything. I sat there the entire time and maybe an hour out if the 100 I wasn't in the call. Dream came up with the lyrics and main melody for Mask (First one he's ever come up with) "That was just notes in my fucking voice memos"

•The clip we heard of Mask was a prechorus not the actual chorus. He thinks he'd be more comfortable to do a mask acoustic and it's more melodic than Roadtrip. The chorus also has a lot of instruments similar to Roadtrip. Mask starts of slow and guitar with minimal reverb and is more raw.

• He doesn't want music to be his main thing. It's something fun to do and he's passionate about it as it's a way to express emotions. He wants to release mask then go from there. He wants to release at least one more song but has nothing on his mind currently. His two ideas were Roadtrip and Mask.

•He wouldn't quit his job to become a pizza delivery man.

•His favourite features on himself are eyes or freckles and he also confirmed that he does have eyebrows.

•He was told that Parkour warrior would be bought back some time in the near future and he got excited for it. "Even if I don't win, which I will, it'll be fun"

•Went on about his MCC team but I'm not going to put that in as we should be getting them today. He did say he wasn't on Pink but he did sound confused. (For reference he's always in Pink as it's the last team announced and keeps the hype up by announcing the biggest streamer last)

•Said he and his mum had the Mr Beast burger. He recommends because he likes the avacado. He mentioned how Mr Beast uses "Ghost Kitchens" which is basically where he gives restaurants permission to cook his food so it's restaurant quality food.

•His favourite piece of merch is the circle smile. (The pool photo on Instagram). He said the quality was bad (he worked with a different company and didn't have his own company) and it was elasticy feeling and he's planning on re-releasing it again but with good quality.

•He's started to send merch out in custom packaging. So his bags have the smile and will mostly be green. Sapnap's has the flame and is either black or white. He's also trying to make it so every order has the sticker packs for both him and Sapnap.

•He loves the coins as it's cheaper than a hoodie but still celebrates the milestones and will last a long time. He mentioned how the old coins are getting removed off the site and how if you have any of the coins your special because only a few thousand get made. He's kept around 100 of each coin that he wants to give away in person.

•He wanted to have a cool store where you could access computers that give you access to the DreamSMP in spectator mode. But it's too costly and would require too much time and isn't safe fight now. He doesn't think it'd be worth it financially.

•Most of the hoodie are black instead of multiple colours because of limited supply and covid. Getting the colours are harder because if the pandemic which hopefully won't be an issue soon.

•He wants to do a short meetup tour with Sapnap and George with a few locations in the US (and if others nearby want to join like Quackity or Karl they can). He also wants to visit Australia, UK, Canada, Mexico and Philippines and do something like that there but definitely at least visit with George and Sapnap.

•He's never been to the Philippines but his mum has. He wants to set up a place in the Philippines where he can ship merch in bulk and it would help to reduce shipping. However it would probably be big milestone merch.

•He's not got the vaccine yet but will get it when he needs to. He doesn't leave the house so he doesn't see the point.

•He's the ideas man. George's footcam video was Dream's idea. The T-shirt video was Dream's idea. Most if not all of the Dream Team's videos are Dream's ideas.

•Said he's got a similar/the same hair colour as Froy (Dream buddy at this point the only difference between you and Froy is that one of you is dating Richard Madden /lh)

[theodora3022]

Selfish Deeds (Yandere! Gojou Satoru)

Summary: Satoru just wants you to be free of danger. If you are so knowledgeable why can’t you understand that he only wish the best for you?

A/N: This is just one snippet of many out of a collection(haven't decide the name just yet)...Since I have not read the manga(anime-only for now) so I just got a vague impression of what Gojou has been through, but that does not stop me from writing him like the cocky bastard he is. Hopefully it is not too OOC(as if yandere variant itself is not OOC enough pfttt) The reader is a stubborn psycho because that is what I am :) Will there be some future pieces that involves nsfw elements? I got a few ideas but no promises.

I blame @popi-the-fatui for my Gojou brainrots. You got your revenge on me by making me attracted to this dubious man. Word count: 1.6k

Banner credit

Warnings: Female pronouns, Possessive behaviour, DELUSIONAL behaviour, non-consensual touching, power inbalance, general yandere content, slight mention of confinement and violence(This is not a healthy relationship dynamic!!!), reader is not a soft UWU girl, kthis is so self indulgent *buries myself into the bottomless pit of shame

It has been nearly fifteen minutes since the headquarter disconnected the call, yet you are still staring at your phone screen with disbelief.

You were supposed to travel to another city for a mission tomorrow, they had notified you of this mission a week ago.

You already got your luggage packed, and your theoretical research on the objective is thoroughly done. Then they dare to inform you: they have found a more suitable candidate! Right on the day before your departure too.

Your curse techniques have already limited you to more of a supporting role for most situations. There are not plenty of missions available for you to begin with. While you are content with educating the fresh blood of the community in classrooms the majority of the time, you still long for field actions every once in a while. It is an essential part of being a Jujutsu sorcerer after all.

Both you and the soft-spoken secretary who made the call know this is nonsense. The higher-ups recognize that you are one of, if not the best sorcerers available when it comes to reconnaissance and espionage.

Letting out a sigh of immeasurable frustration, you swore to yourself that you will find out who is the conductor of this humiliating turn of events. This is going to be difficult since you do not recall having any issues with any of the administration staff recently.

There is no reversing this misfortune, but at least you can be aware of who is responsible for such violation of conduct.

He is only doing this to protect you.

Gojou Satoru tells himself as such, at least.

He is aware of how unfair it is, to make someone less capable to take on the job. But he cannot risk your safety. The man has already got used to your company, and he is not willing to just let you disappear from his field of view for more than a week. Sure, you might have not admitted how much you like him yet, but it is just too endearing to see you flustered at his flirtatious words.

Although there have been some difficulties with rescheduling, he managed to use his connections to exclude you from that first-grade mission at last minute. On the bright side, the sorcerer cannot wait to lend you an ear to vent about how conservative and unfair the higher-ups can be. Maybe you will even say yes to a trip to the newest local bakery! You need some sweet treats to cheer yourself up, don’t you?

But Satoru has never thought about how you specialize in putting two and two together. (understandable since he never saw you in action before).

------------------

Strange, you are not near the usual area in the library.

Sensing his footsteps, you opened your office door before Satoru had a chance to knock.

“We need to talk, Gojou-san.” That expression is new. This is the first time he sees you genuinely angry, which is to be expected.

But somehow he got a bad feeling about this.

You did not even invite him to sit down, instead just standing next to the floor window, arm crossed, with your back turned to him.

“Why would you do such a thing?” You have to use up all of your self-control to prevent yourself from having a full blow-up right at Gojou Satoru. Maintain composure. But it is easier said then done.

Does he think this is funny? To sabotage someone else's sorcerer career like this? You knew you should have kept him out of your daily life, as he is nothing but trouble to you. But you made the mistake of choosing to tolerate him, and some superficial part of you might even enjoy his dallying words a bit too much.

To the extent, you overlooked some red flags. This is a grievous error indeed.

Shit, now that he vaguely remembers what role you play on missions.“(y/n)-chan, what are you saying-” He knows you always act in supporting positions, however, he has overlooked your actual abilities and curse techniques. You collect intel and spy on enemies, how could he forget that? “Don’t play dumb with me. You got your ways, I got mine. There is no use denying what you have done. I thought you out of all people would understand what it means to be a sorcerer.”

This is a violation of protocol, changing mission assignments at the last minute. However, you know this man would not be receiving any solid punishment should you decide to report this. They would say there is “no harm done” and you would just receive a pitiful apology. Suppose you cannot blame them though.

They need Gojou Satoru, the Jujutsu community needs his prowess to keep innocent people safe. He will remain in the system no matter what.

Why are you questioning his motives? Does he have to spell it out for you? Letter by letter?

“You are not a skilled combatant, (y/n)-chan. What if you got yourself hurt?” Or even worse, killed. It scares him to think that you could be gone one day, how he would walk by this office corridor and never sees you sitting behind the desk ever again.

Not much in this world could send Gojou Satoru a chill down his spine, yet the thought of you dying is now on the list. He knows how petty this is, you wouldn’t be the one doing the actual exorcising after all. But the if, the slight possibilty.

He cannot allow that to happen, not ever. Even that means angering you and getting yelled at.

“What am I, some normal lawful citizen? I am a sorcerer just like you, Gojou-san. Putting ourselves on the line for innocents is part of the deal.” You let out a few short, sarcastic giggles, narrowing your eyes at him with fury. “It’s funny that you, out of all people, fail to understand that. If I am needed I will do what I must. If this is some sort of sick joke, stop it already, not funny. ”

Blunt, unrelenting stubbornness. Not like that’s news for him, Satoru has lots of experience with that since the day your path crossed. Although he finds this quality to be adorable most of the time, it can pose major problems like the present.

Oh, he is not angry at you. Satoru is more outraged at himself, don’t you worry. On the contrary, he is rather intrigued by your sarcastic remarks! However…

Instead of walking towards where you stood near the window, the man decides to take a turn towards the door.

That flashing panic within your eyes did not escape his sight.

The illusion figure you were projecting near the window dissipated instantly once he got your left wrist in his hand. Concealing yourself and projecting illusions, a rare techique indeed.

“Clever tactic. Making yourself invisible, projecting a faux illusion to distract me, leaving the door open and staying close to the exit. Your curse techniques are impressive. I almost got fooled, job well-done (y/n)-chan.”

The grip on your wrist suddenly tightens, you have to bite your lip to hold back a hiss of pain. How can he still flash that casual, playful smile when committing such atrocity? Those damned cerulean blue eyes too, you are ashamed of how you tremble and (internally) swoon at it at the same time.

Efforts to get away would most likely be futile, but you have to try. “See, you underestimated your opponent. I do see why you are good with lurking in the shadows now. Do you have any idea what I am capable of though?” Such delicate hands, it would be a shame if they were to bruise.

It’s unnerving how easy it looks for him to maintain a solid grip on your wrist while you pull back with all of your might. You know Gojou Satoru is strong and all, but this simple demonstration of strength is devastatingly effective. “Let go of me, you bastard!”

To your surprise, he softens his grip and you finally distanced yourself from him, panting and guarded. “Who are you to decide what I should and what I should not do? I made it crystal clear on the first day that I do not like you for the slightest.”

You know the walls are thin and coworkers might heard you, but you will have to worry about it later. It is, sadly, a matter of fact that you are somehow attracted to him, but that does not give him the right to use it against you. You must not give in to the temptation.

“You are pretty slow on the uptake for someone so smart. I was thinking of doing this naturally, we can go on normal dates to coffee shops, amusement parks, or even the museum if that is what you wish for. But now I see you do not know how much you mean to me.” Do you think Gojou-san is only flirting with you for the fun of it? It might have been the case in the beginning, but that is not the case since...recently.

He did not stop you again when you turned away, giving him one last menacing look and disappeared from his sight, even if he could see the faint trace of your curse energy. You will return to him and apologize after you calm down, he is confident about that. You value your job way too much to quit.

Then he could finally pull you into his arms, saying he does not mind and forgive your childish tantrums. Satoru does not plan to lock you up in a cage or anything(yet)! The students adore you and they need your guidance. Your clan is insignificant compared to his, your influence? Does he even need to consider that?

Gojou Satoru would always achieve his goals by whatever means possible. You are no exception to this.

[zaharadessert]

Okay but I really want to know what fics are hiding behind these titles (really all of them but I guess I have to pick): I Did Right, OH, and SK.

Hey! So... I did right is still in my WIPs folder because I have a couple of one shots I want to write to round out the bunnies in that universe. I haven't relegated it to backburners yet because I am determined to get them done already!

One will focus on Emma and Killian and how things develop post marriage. The second will focus a little more on some Captain Cobra, with a little bit of Outlaw Cobra for good measure! I'm going to admit that I haven't written a word of either of them and for that I am very sorry... but... hopefully talking about them will get me some muse on them and I can get them up before the end of the year...

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OH... Occupational Hazards... This is my second cake fic with @motherkatereloyshipper based on the 'I'm not a tripper I was selling the last snow shovel' picture, and it's... gotten a lot more complicated than originally intended and the plot needs untangling before I can go any further. Buuuuut... have a snippet...

Killian was frowning hard as he looked down at the open exercise book in front of him containing the almost complete drawing and accompanying incomplete paragraph Henry Swan had produced yesterday. It hadn’t been until he was marking the children’s work at lunch time that he’d noticed it. He was wondering if he was doing the right thing by talking to Miss Swan about his concerns. He’d gone to see Ms Mills, who was the safeguarding lead for the school as soon as he’d managed to pick his jaw up off the floor. She’d wanted to call Child Protective Services the moment she’d seen it, but there was something about the gleam in her eyes as she suggested it that made him pause.

Then he’d considered what he knew.

He’d known Henry for a couple of months now, and nothing the lad had said or done had raised any red flags. He knew that hesitating for even an afternoon could be detrimental, but Henry was happy. He spoke highly of his mom and his aunt and uncle who had apparently helped out a lot when it came to raising their nephew. He’d met Henry’s uncle when the man had brought him in on the first day of the semester, as Miss Swan was at work. He’d seemed like a level-headed, forthright gentleman whom Killian could not imagine being happy about his sister’s, or was it sister-in-law’s, situation.

If he even knew about it.

He couldn’t remember the man’s surname, but it wasn’t Swan.

But the work in front of him could not be ignored, not if he was going to continue his career with a clear conscience and continue to uphold the morals he was keen to impart to his students. So, it was all of this that made him want to give her the chance to explain, to ask for help before they took anything further.

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I've been talking about SK for a while, and a lot of people have forgotten what it stands for, which is amusing. However, I am here to officially announce that this is my Serial Killer fic. It's inspired by a line of a tv show I overheard my Dad watching which went something alone the lines of...

You used me as bait for a serial killer without telling me?

And hence, the serial killer fic was born... This is also the fic that @jrob64 picked for me to bump up my list when she won my 1k kudos/100k words giveaway. Which is why it's moved out of the bunny folder. So, here is your snippet...

It was fairly warm considering it was evening, Emma was glad that she’d ignored the instinct to grab her red leather jacket before walking out there door. Aside from the fact that it would have been leather on leather, she wasn’t sure why, tonight of all nights she’d gone without it, but she had. She was humming to herself over the sound of the traffic at the end of the side street she was waiting on. A tune she’d heard while sitting in a coffee shop staking out a bodega that afternoon. A mere fragment of it really, repeating over and over again in her head.

She sighed and flicked open her clutch to check her phone. One thing leaving her jacket behind meant was a distinct lack of pockets.

The last message she’d had from Walsh had been hours ago, confirming the time but changing the location of their date. She was so confused by it that she almost called him, but there must have been a reason for his confirmation by text.

He was chasing down a serial killer after all, where she had the advantage in bail bonds that time didn’t generally cost lives, Walsh did not. Things were often a little more time sensitive when you were a homicide detective for the NYPD. So Emma had accepted more than a couple of cancelled dates, had fallen asleep alone more times than she would have liked, had reheated his dinner while he dragged himself, exhausted, into the shower, all more often than his boss should have allowed in the few months since she’d moved in with him.

Emma had assumed that moving in with Walsh would mean more of the small moments she’d come to enjoy when one of them had stayed with the other for the night. It seemed a given as they were no longer spending their time in separate apartments, they would have more time together but that wasn’t what was happening. Or at least, Emma didn’t think it was happening as often as it should.

Had Walsh become bored with the status quo? Or now she’d moved in had he lost the thrill of the chase? Was she not as exciting as his job? Not interesting enough to entice him home of an evening? Either way, the situation warranted a conversation later. Maybe tomorrow, she didn’t want to spoil their date.

If Walsh, who was now half an hour late, ever turned up for it.

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and there you go @sotangledupinit those are the answers to your deepest darkest desires of knowledge for my WIPs... I hope you enjoyed the answers, even if the first one was a little cryptic, and links to my other responses so far are below...

Reblogged answer about Dark Hook Husband...