#masters dissertation help

[procrastinator-studies]

day 1/123

hi! little big update in my life, I finished university! well, almost, I need to finish my masters thesis and I'm not gonna lie, it´s a bit scary, so here I am, starting to upload again to get mysfel working!

Today is the first of july and I need to submit my tesis on october 31st (the reason for the 123 days) so the plan is to write a chapter a month or so. I've already organized my schedule so I can create deadlines for myself, take a week off (I don't know if I'll really be completely disconnected or if my computer will go with me) but we'll see and try not stress too much.

I'm a very anxious person and I'm going through a breakup after finishing college and I'm already thinking about doing my internship abroad, it's been a lot, I just can't break now, let's be positive and I'll believe in myself and my abilities! let's do it!!

[prosypepper]

this is love ft. kento nanami

a/n: a few sappy slices of life with my main man :3 enjoy as i dig up motivation to finish kinktober. 18+ mdni!

"honey?" kento's voice is muffled through the door as he calls out to you, "everything okay?" the door rattles as he tries to open it, knob jingling.

"uhm, yeah! everything's fine!" you nervously shout, much too loud, and rush to unplug the iron that had melted your husband's favorite shirt. you panic and yelp when the hot iron scorches the side on your hand, throwing the stupid device to the ground in a clatter.

"why is the door locked—are you okay?" he asks, voice becoming more concerned as he hears the movement inside.

"i'm—i'm fine! promise! just give me a minute!" you're rushing into your shared master bathroom to run cold water over your hand, and kento’s using a screwdriver pulled from thin air to break into your bedroom. tears well in your eyes when you catch the sight of kento seeing his favorite shirt burnt and melted to his own ironing board. "i’m so sorry…"

in reality, he doesn’t care about the shirt—he’s already at your side to inspect your burnt hand. after a few seconds, he speaks.

"did you try to iron my shirt for me?" nanami asks, a small smile on his face, "you didn’t have to do that." he turns off the faucet and takes a small towel to dry your hand off.

"i tried to, i’m sorry—i didn’t know it would do that." you apologize, looking down at the cold tile flooring in defeat.

"oh, honey." he coos, "it’s only a shirt."

"have you seen your father?" you ask your son, yū, who’s sat at the dining table, eating breakfast. he shakes his head no, and when you look at your daughter, mayu, she does the same.

"jeez," you grumble to yourself, bedroom slippers pattering down the hallway as you go to search for your husband. saturday mornings were his time to sleep in, but realistically, he never slept past 9am. and currently, it was nearing 10am.

you check everywhere. he isn’t found in the bedroom, living room, his office, the garage, the patio or in the little garden he kept. upstairs, downstairs, everywhere, he isn’t there. and when you check in your bedroom for the last time, you hear a soft buzzing coming from the bathroom. upon entering, you see your husband bent over the counter, leaning close in the mirror as he shaves his stubble with an electric razor.

"there you are—when did you get that?"

kento had always been a clean shaven kind of man, going to a barber shop once every two weeks for his straight razor shave. it hadn’t even crossed your mind he didn’t go after work yesterday.

but when he looks at you—you burst out laughing. he’d shaven most of his beard off, but a few fuzzy patches remained on his cheeks, along with a mustache grazing his upper lip. peach fuzz and a few knicks litter his chin. this was the first time you’d seen him unable to do anything perfectly. and he looks ridiculous.

"is it really that bad?" he groans, pouting when you wrap your arms around yourself in a giggling fit. you shake your head, although your unforgiving laughs are a testament to the opposite.

"no—no, let me help," you say after calming down.

after gathering a new razor and some shaving cream, you sit atop the counter and your husband stands between your legs. kento is surprised how flawlessly you shave his face, without creating any more marks or cuts. you giggle and kiss him, getting some shaving cream on your face.

"ken?" you shout from the kitchen, where you’re sat, working on your dissertation. it’s been a long road of blood, sweat, and many, many tears; but you’re finally getting towards the end. about to earn a doctorate.

"yes, darling?" kento replies, walking into the kitchen on queue, his timing impeccable.

"can you read over this paragraph, please?" you kindly ask of him, pointing to your most recent written paragraph. he leans over you, planting one firm palm on the table, the other on your back; his eyes read along the sentences and his fingers tap along your spine.

"ah," his finger becomes more focused on a certain word, "wrong 'there', honey."

"no it's not..." you instantly retort, squinting your tired eyes to read over your writing. and you're right, it was the correct one the first time. this was his version of teasing you. but kento couldn't keep up the face much longer before he's giving in with a shit-eating grin you didn't see that often. "you're funny." you groan as kento stands back up.

after reading over the paragraph for about the nineteenth time, you notice kento silently slipping you some tea before turning back around to keep himself busy with cleaning. you absentmindedly take a few sips, then some more...and you find yourself becoming more and more sleepy...

and you're out like a light, forehead pressed directly against the table as a puddle of drool forms on the papers below. kento already has a warm blanket straight from the dryer to drape over you, and you stir just enough to get comfy on your arms.

kento knows that his back will hurt in the morning, but he sits around the corner of the table next to you, settling his head into his arms to drift off to sleep alongside you.

music of your taste plays rather quietly in the kitchen. you stir the pot of soup and inhale the flavorful aroma that wafts through the air.

kento sets two bowls next to the stove, then rummages through your silverware drawer to find two spoons. the kids are at their grandparents for the weekend, it's only you and your husband, converted into the duo you were long ago.

you step away from the stove to go fill up two glasses of wine, the brand kento had as his favorite had slowly turned into your favorite over time, too.

kento fills up the two bowls to the brim of the delicious food, grinning on the inside at the simplicity of it all. just you and him. he lids the pot with the matching glass top and makes his way over to the table.

you set out place mats for the both of you, then place the wine glasses in their prospective areas. kento places the bowls on top of the mats as you grab the spoons from the counter.

in the kitchen, your bodies subconsciously dance around each other. carefully, in perfect tune and pace. delicate steps of a routine formed over so much time together.

in the universe, your souls are tied, striding alongside one another in each lifetime repeated.

and this, is love.

[tutorsindia152]

Masters Part Dissertation Writing Services | MBA Part Thesis Writing Help UK

Masters Part Dissertation Writing Services | MBA Part Thesis Writing Help UK

Description - Masters Dissertation Part or chapter-wise writing help. Looking to avail only to write part dissertation such as introduction literature review methodology etc.

Writing a dissertation is a daunting task as student need to produce an original piece of research work on a topic of special interest.

Contact us! 

India +91 8754446690 

[algae-tm]

PEOPLE, PLACES, THINGS

Max Verstappen x anthropologist! Reader

Author’s note : this smau has a special place in my heart, if you haven’t noticed I’m not Caucasian, but was born and raised in Nigeria and a lot of my university life has been centred around studies of the black diaspora. My masters research is on homosexuality and Afro-syncretic religions, so have been trying to figure out how to incorporate it so thought I’d go full send and thus this was borne.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

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peopleplacesthings just posted

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peopleplacesthings: I spent three years (give or take) with the people of the Bahia state in Brasil, researching the afro-syncretic religion of Candomblé. My research paper on the gender roles within Candomblé (how men express masculinity, and the role of women as spiritual leaders) will be published online where everyone will be able to access it. Can’t wait to see where the world takes me next!! 🌎🇧🇷

view all comments

yourbsfuser: y/n baby I love you and your big brain, but please take a sabbatical 😭. stay in the UK for a while.

— peopleplacesthings: what’s in it for me? 🤨

— yourbsfuser: seeing your family and friends???

— peopleplacesthings: sorry gotta blast, the world is waiting 🏃🏿‍♀️

user10: your masters research on the linguistic appropriation of AAVE was vital for me completing my dissertation! Thank you so much

— peopleplacesthings: passing down knowledge is the key to preserving culture! I love when I get comments like this, well done my love.

lewishamilton: so you’re free now?

— peopleplacesthings: until my next adventure

— lewishamilton: good to know

— user10: not SIR LEWIS HAMILTON in my old TA’s comment section

— user7: IK 😭 she was a guest lecturer at my uni like one month ago! Really my two worlds colliding 😭😭

— user8: how do they know eachother???

— user9: I’m guessing they must have met one of the times Lewis was in Brazil??

— peopleplacesthings: he is my cousin! he’s much older and way less attractive than me so that’s probs why you couldn’t see the family resemblance🙂🙂

yoursisteruser: 2 back to back research papers… you could use a break from work

— peopleplacesthings: it’s not work if you love what you do 🤗🤗

— user17: 2 research papers??? How old is she?

— user19: she’s actually done 3! One for her masters which was only 15,000 words and then 2 more, her 2nd was for her PhD and she’s published her last two as books. She’s 28 if I’m not mistaken. I’m not a stalker just obsessed with her work!

— user17: oh so she’s SMART smart

— user19: bro she’s DOCTORATE OF ANTHROPOLOGY smart

MESSAGES

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MESSAGES

MESSAGES

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peopleplacesthings just posted

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peopleplacesthings: I can check getting papped reading in the park off my bucket list… maybe I should start a book club! Anyways everything is a learning opportunity so I am currently reading Nervous Conditions by Tsitsi Dangarembga. Don’t be so surprised that I read fiction! Nervous Conditions is a valuable case study in cultural anthropology due to its rich exploration of themes related to post-colonial identity, gender, and cultural conflict. If you take my post-colonial anthropology module in September, this will definitely be on the further reading list. Come read with me! 📚 📚

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user1: are we sure this is the woman max is dating…

— user3: I was just wondering that, so out of left field 😭 😭

— user4: I mean what do they even have to talk about? She just lectures him all day?

lewishamilton: how can I take your class if I’m not enrolled in the university?? 🤨🤨

— peopleplacesthings: you can’t! Hope this helps

— user5: jeez she’s so rude…

— user9: who does she think she is????

— peopleplacesthings: Dr. Y/n Y/ln that’s who I know I am

user11: so is anthropology all she talks about, or does she have hobbies…

— peopleplacesthings: I happen to think my field of anthropology; the study of societies, people and culture, is quite interesting. But no I am a person I contain multitudes anthropology is not all I talk about.

user6: not y’all invalidating a woman with a literal doctorate just because she MIGHT be dating your fav… pls touch grass

— user13: that’s what I’m saying! If anything she’s WAY out of Max’s league, hasn’t he only ever read like 2 books?? (liked by danielricciardo)

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peopleplacesthings just posted

liked by maxverstappen1, danielricciardo, lewishamilton and 100,00 others

peopleplacesthings: We DTR’ed!!

view all comments

lewishamilton: DTR?

— peopleplacesthings: Define the Relationship apparently

— lewishamilton: my how the tables have turned, miss I don’t date drivers.

— peopleplacesthings: DR* I don’t date drivers. And what can I say my commitment issues are no match for Max Verstappen

danielricciardo: you’re welcome!

— user4: what could you possible have done

— danielricciardo: I told max to grow some balls that’s what! I’m the architect of this relationship

— peopleplacesthings: you and Lewis can fight over that title

maxverstappen1: WE DTR’ED!!!!

— peopleplacesthings: hell yeah we did!

maxverstappen1: I love you schat ❤️💙

— peopleplacesthings: 🥹 I love you too

you doofus

maxverstappen1 just posted

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maxverstappen1: Did it hurt when you fell from your culture’s dogmatic view of an afterlife?

view all comments

peopleplacesthings: I think that’s the sexiest thing anyone has ever said to me

— maxverstappen1: there’s more where that came from

— peopleplacesthings: oh shucks not in public maxie

— danielricciardo: this is the weirdest foreplay I’ve ever witnessed

user14: how did a man that drives in circles manage to bag my anthro professor??

— user16: shouldn’t that be the other way round???

— user14: if you ever attended one of her lectures and saw her in action you would know the answer to that question is absolutely not (liked by maxverstappen1)

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• TAGLIST

@forevercaffeinated-lee

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@dontworryaboutitokie 

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@silkenthusiasts

@ietss

@sp1rl

[litloverscorsetlaces]

A Sentimental Soapbox Essay on Fandoms and Archives and Why Your Hyperfixation Matters

Offline, I'm a grad student/historian in training who studies a community that is systemically under-archived. A significant part of my day job involves helping that community craft the archive from what's "left" while coming to terms with what they've already lost. In the meantime, I'm also navigating how to write the dissertation I want to write without the sources I want/need.

Aside from providing the fodder for my gothic romance hyperfixation, fandoms are a breath of fresh air because they remind me that it only takes a few passionate people to build an archive and, eventually, a preservation ecosystem. It all starts with someone who records things, collects stuff, and accumulates niche knowledge--and then shares it with others--just for the joy of it.

Two episodes of a (now obscure) Jane Eyre BBC adaptation have been missing for years, and today an anonymous superfan/de facto JE adaptation archivist who never gave up announced that they've been found after all this time. Masters take the time to make elitist or ephemeral artforms like musicals more accessible for present and future generations' enjoyment and now several Phantoms who performed the role before I was even born are among my favorites. Stuff like this warms my heart as a fan, historian, and a human.

Don't take for granted that some institution is studying and stewarding that "thing" you care about. Universities, museums, and the internet are flawed systems and, yes, instruments of power and capitalism. They also just can't (and shouldn't) do it all. Preservation runs on informal archivists and spaceholders like @glassprism and @wheel-of-fish and @behindthemirrorofmusic and trading economies (in the case of POTO) and so many other people/spaces. It thrives on us investing in the things that bring us joy. And that investment doesn't have to be financial; it often just looks like collaborating with others for free and finding time to channel our intellects and energies toward what we love.

The things that matter to you...matter lol. Don't let *gestures wildly* all the stuff going in the world convince you otherwise. Now or somewhere down the road someone's going to be glad you cared this much.

[honeydippedfiction]

Would love something with maybe Nico hischier with the prompt “you do what you got to do I’ll make sure no one disturbs you” maybe the reader is finishing up her masters in biology and has a huge paper she has to work on. Stem maybe literature dissertation really anything of your choosing, but she has a hard time telling people no and has overbooked herself and ran herself down, so Nico takes control and makes sure she relaxes and has time to work on her paper, and takes care of everything for her!!!

Love your work!

1k & Birthday Bash nav | main navigation | reqs | table of contents

“you do what you got to do I’ll make sure no one disturbs you”

Nico Hischier x black!femreader

• you DO NOT have my permission to copy my work, upload as your own, translate, or repost on any other website •

The late afternoon light spilled through the apartment window in long, golden streaks that cut across stacks of notes, half-drunk mugs of tea, and a biology textbook left open on the coffee table. Y/N sat curled at the edge of the couch, her fingers hovering just above the keys of her laptop, her posture rigid. The screen in front of her blinked expectantly, waiting for her to resume her paragraph on calcium signaling in echinoderms.

But her mind was fraying at the edges.

She rubbed her eyes with the heels of her palms, then glanced at the to-do list scribbled on a sticky note beside her. It had grown overnight like an invasive weed—names of students she’d promised to tutor, email drafts to professors she still hadn’t sent, tasks she kept saying yes to when she should have been saying no.

A gentle knock at the doorframe pulled her out of her thoughts.

“You still working?” Nico’s voice was soft, careful, as if he already knew the answer but wanted to give her the dignity of saying it herself.

Y/N looked up, offering a weary smile. “Just taking a quick break before I jump on Zoom with Dr. Karimi. Then I need to help Alicia with her formatting, and after that—”

Nico crossed the room before she could finish. He didn’t say anything right away. Instead, he sat on the edge of the coffee table, facing her, and took in the picture in front of him: her eyes heavy with exhaustion, her natural curls pulled into a high puff that had clearly been done in haste, and her sweatshirt—his old Devils hoodie—slipping off one shoulder.

“You’ve been running on fumes for a week,” he said quietly.

“I’m fine,” she replied too quickly, eyes darting away.

He reached out and gently closed her laptop. “You’re not. And it’s okay to not be.”

She opened her mouth to protest, but he beat her to it, his tone firm now—but still soft enough not to startle her.

“Y/N,” he said. “You do what you got to do. I’ll make sure no one disturbs you.”

His words stopped her cold. They sank into her chest, heavy but comforting. She blinked, and for a second, she looked as if she might cry—not from sadness, but from the quiet relief of being seen, of someone else finally saying I’ve got you.

“Nico, I can’t just bail on people,” she said, her voice cracking slightly. “Alicia’s been struggling with her thesis, and I promised her. And I still have to respond to my advisor. I don’t want to be that person who—”

“—forgets how to take care of herself?” he finished gently.

She lowered her head. “Yeah.”

He stood and held out his hand. “Come on.”

Y/N hesitated, then took it, letting him lead her to the couch. He wrapped a soft blanket around her shoulders and settled her back into the cushions like she was made of glass and silk. Then he handed her the laptop again—not to work on everyone else’s problems, but to finally focus on her own.

“I’ll text Alicia,” he said. “She’ll understand. And your advisor can wait another day to hear from you. You don’t owe anyone an explanation right now.”

Y/N glanced at him, torn between gratitude and guilt. “You really don’t have to do all that.”

He leaned down and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “I want to. I need to. You’ve been trying to be everything for everyone, and I see how that’s eating at you. Just focus on your paper. That’s all you need to do today.”

So she did.

For the first time in weeks, she put her headphones in, turned on her favorite study playlist—ambient ocean sounds and soft piano—and let herself slip into the rhythm of research and writing. The fog in her brain began to lift. Paragraphs that had once felt like mountains suddenly unfolded into clear, coherent thoughts. Her arguments found their structure; her citations aligned themselves; her voice—so often drowned out by helping everyone else—finally came through.

Meanwhile, Nico became the quiet conductor of calm behind the scenes.

He replied to Alicia’s texts with grace, even slipping in a quick apology that sounded so natural Y/N couldn’t believe he hadn’t known her for years. He reheated her lunch, brought her snacks—apple slices and almond butter, her go-to when she was writing—and even lit the lavender candle she only ever used when she was deep in study mode.

When the neighbor knocked to ask about building maintenance, Nico answered the door and quietly deflected the conversation before it could stretch beyond a polite minute.

The apartment transformed. Not physically—it was still the same tiny, cluttered space full of textbooks and hockey gear and shared routines—but energetically. It became a haven. A retreat. A place where Y/N’s mind could roam without the pressure of being constantly needed.

Hours passed.

Outside, the sun dipped behind the skyline. Inside, Y/N sat unmoving, wrapped in a cocoon of productivity and peace. When she finally hit the “save” button on the final draft of her dissertation, her shoulders slumped, not with defeat, but with release.

She closed the laptop slowly, like she was afraid it might disappear.

Nico was in the kitchen, plating dinner—some roasted chicken and vegetables they’d meal-prepped two days ago. She padded over, barefoot and quiet, and wrapped her arms around his waist from behind, resting her cheek against his back.

“I finished,” she whispered.

He turned, smiling. His eyes were soft but proud. “Of course you did. I never doubted it.”

She didn’t pull away. Instead, she looked up at him with a look she rarely gave anyone—unshielded, vulnerable, grateful.

“Thank you for today. Really.”

He kissed her forehead again, brushing her curls back with his fingers. “You don’t always have to hold the whole world together,” he murmured. “You’ve got me.”

Y/N nodded slowly, her chest warm in a way that had nothing to do with the blanket or the tea or the dinner waiting behind them.

And as they sat down together to eat, nothing left on her list but peace, she realized something quietly profound:

Love wasn’t always in the grand gestures. Sometimes, it was in the smallest thing—like someone saying, “You do what you got to do. I’ll make sure no one disturbs you”—and meaning every word.

[tutorsindia152]

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[silverquillsideas]

Hello! My friend is doing her masters research on BL fandom experience in India. It would be a great help if you could spare a few minutes to fill out this survey below!! ❤️

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[snezka-049]

Snezka and SCP-049 beginning (lore)

1. Dr. Snezhana Lewandowski lore (Snezka)

(Events before the containment breach).

In the corridors of the SCP Foundation, where secrets and anomalies are hidden from the public eye, Dr. Snezhana Lewandowski worked. Her life was full of mystery, and this is what drew her to the world of anomalies.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Name: Snezhana Lewandowski

Age: ██

Date of Birth: 27/08/ ████

Clearance Level: Third

Personnel Category: B

Specialty: IT Specialist. Psychologist.

Place of work: Zone 19

Foundation experience: 5 years

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Education

First: IT-Specialist.

Snezhana enrolled in the Faculty of Information Technology at a state university. During her studies, she specialized in cybersecurity and data analytics.

After graduating with a Bachelor's degree, then a Master's degree, she continued her education in graduate school, where she focused on research in the areas of:

1. Information Security.

2. Big data analytics.

She defended her doctoral dissertation on "Anomaly detection methods for system and big data", which attracted the attention of the SCP Foundation.

Second: Psychologist.

After achieving the success she needed in technical education, she decided to fulfill her life's main dream of working in the field of psychology. Due to some unpleasant events in her childhood, she did not have the opportunity to study in this field, so she had to temporarily change her orientation in life.

From an early age, Snezhana has shown an interest in psychology and human behavior. The motivation for this comes from a tough youth and personal traumatic experiences. Her goal was to help those who couldn't make it on their own, as she once couldn't. After enough time had passed, she managed to apply to the academy to study psychology. Upon graduating from the academy, Snezhana specialized in the areas of:

1. Clinical psychology.

2. Experimental psychology.

3. Counseling psychology.

After she got a job in a psychoneurological dispensary, gaining valuable experience and practice, a broader understanding of the inner world of people.

Invitation to the Foundation

Finding contacts and personal information about Snezhana was not difficult for the Foundation. Having noticed her abilities, the Foundation ordered to send a recruiter - ████ ██████ - into her social circle to get more information about the candidate. As a result, the recruiter ████ and Snezhana became close friends.

After some time of observation and communication of the recruiter with her, having received all the necessary information, the Board of the Foundation came to the decision to give her the invitation to work.

Realizing the risks and danger, Snezhana accepted the invitation, having resigned from her previous job after working for about 2 years.

After testing, interviewing and training, she became an employee of the Foundation with a level 2 security clearance.

Career at the Foundation

Snezhana started her career as a junior specialist in cybersecurity, a little later gaining a junior position in psychology.

Her specialization is a unique combination of programming and psychology, allowing her to look at anomalies from two perspectives: both as complex systems that require analysis, and as entities with their own consciousness and motivation.

Incident

While analyzing data, Dr. Lewandowski came across strange signals on the network. These were not just hacking attempts - they were coming from an entity known as SCP-███ She and others in the programming field developed a comprehensive defense strategy. In the process, they faced many challenges: the SCP-███ system was constantly adapting, and they had to find new solutions. Under conditions of stress and strain, Dr. Lewandowski managed to implement their real-time protection algorithm.

After that, for some reason, she was assigned more work in the field of psychology. Also, her success in the incident gave her a promotion to level 3 clearance.

In psychology

Dr. Lewandowski researches and analyzes object psychology. She develops methods of interacting with abnormal entities and helps in understanding their behavior.

Real security is achieved not only through physical barriers, but also through the emotional stability of employees. She took time to help her colleagues through seminars and psychology trainings for the staff of the Facility, trying to create an atmosphere of trust and mutual support among the employees.

For about 2 years, Dr. Lewandowski worked only with Safe Class facilities, and after being promoted to Senior Specialist in Psychology, she was ordered to work with Euclid Class facilities.

This promotion led her to meet one subject that changed her life, and in the future, his too... SCP-049 - Plague Doctor.

2. Lewandowski and SCP-049

(Events on the eve of the containment breach).

Experiment

The first days of Dr. Lewandowski and the SCP-049 subject were formal, protocol-driven. Lewandowski conducted standard interview sessions in an attempt to understand the motives and nature of his subject. The subject was cool and detached.

She knew SCP-049 was dangerous, but she saw him not only as an anomaly, but as a complex, multifaceted individual. His words were full of sadness and loneliness, imbued with longing and melancholy. She understood his logic, his pain, his desire to “help,” even if the methods were questionable, but perhaps all is not what it seems at first glance.

And yet she too had thought similar things to what SCP-049 had said, that the world was sick, humanity needed to be saved. Ever since she was a child, she had had thoughts like his in her mind.

She had a theory that there were no bad people in the world, but wounded people who had not been healed. She believed that a person becomes wounded, after being treated unfairly or cruelly, by similarly wounded people. If a person does not work on their wound, it will not heal, because there are many wounded people in the world that will scratch that wound, making it bigger. And this pain and resentment, like a virus or rot, infects his soul completely, making the person the same as the one who once inflicted the wound. Later that person carries this pain and resentment further, taking it out on others, making more infected. It is an endless cycle that cannot be eradicated completely, but can be minimized. Some can handle it, and some need help. You have to want help, you have to understand the situation and try to solve it too, because no one can help you better than you can help yourself, and that's what Snezka had to go through.

She thought these thoughts were strange, but after so many years, there was a creature that literally reflected her thoughts, with whom you can share this theory, and perhaps get understanding.

She saw herself in him, only a better version of herself, but with the same mental problems.

— How can that be!? He's just an abnormal object, why can't I stop thinking about him!? I can't stop thinking about him, his words. Maybe it's my soft nature, too compassionate, empathic, or maybe it's his anomalous action?

Dr. Lewandowski felt a kindred spirit in him and wanted to have more sessions with him, and most importantly, she wanted to get away from formal conversation, and share her thoughts with him about their common problem.

She decided to send a request to the management above about the idea of having experimental conversations with SCP-049, so that he would see Dr. Lewandowski as genuinely understanding, get comfortable with her, and tell her more about his treatment, himself, and the fever. Approval was granted, but it was a long wait. Finally she could be sincere with him.

Trust

New conversations with SCP-049, but not as formal as before, it took several such conversations before SCP-049 settled down with Dr. Lewandowski.

He told her more about the fever, about the treatment, they began to have deep dialogues about life and death, about philosophy, about society, SCP-049 even began to tell stories from his own life. Lewandowski also told him about her life, but she liked to listen to him more.

She found comfort in his monologues about the world, about death, about eternity, his stories about medicine. Her mind resisted, but her heart could no longer deny it: she felt something more than professional interest in him. It was a dangerous game, bordering on insanity. She knew it, but she couldn't stop. Lewandowski realized that her feelings were illogical, unacceptable, but they were there. Her greatest fear was that the Foundation would suspect something and restrict her access to him, which unfortunately happened...

Another conversation between SCP-049 and Lewandowski, the subject had already started addressing her by her favorite version of her name, Snezka, while she addressed him as Doctor. Suddenly the object fell silent.

— Doctor? Is everything all right?

— ...Yes. Snezka, let me demonstrate something to you, you should know....

The subject held out his hand, as far as it was possible being handcuffed for safety's sake, and nodded, offering to touch her. Sensing that this venture might not end well, Lewandowski extended her palm, and SCP-049 touched it.

— Wait, what...? Oh... My thoughts about your abilities were valid. - Was the last thing Snezka said before the cell door opened and she was summoned to leave.

Reprimand

— Dr. Lewandowski, your experimental conversations with the subject have come to an end. We have all the information we need, you will no longer have to work with SCP-049. Let's be honest, it seems you've begun to abuse your access to the facility, and the Foundation board has some questions about that.

— ...It was part of an experiment, you see.... It gave you a lot of new information, before such experiments such informative results were not observed. - said Lewandowski in her defense.

— Lucky for you that it didn't end in your death! Objects like 049 are dangerous, you can't trust them or reach out to them. Or have you forgotten what he did to Dr. Hamm? And everything was fine at first, too. This object is unpredictable! You're lucky you're a valued member of our staff, and this is the first time you've had an incident like this, otherwise we'd be forced to take action.

Separation

More work with other facilities has now fallen on her. One day, she dared to inquire about SCP-049. But she didn't get a clear answer.

Meanwhile, SCP-049 was asking the same question to the staff - when would Dr. Lewandowski visit?

— We're sorry, but Dr. Lewandowski has declined to work with you, SCP-049.

— ...That can't be true, you're lying! She couldn't have done it, I can feel it!

Subject SCP-049 became hostile to the Foundation, uncooperative and drove all attempts at contact away.

All or Nothing

— "Is the dream and freedom worth risking the lives and safety of others?" — Pondered by Dr. Lewandowski . — "Risking everything, insanity, selfishness(?). But if it's for a great purpose, for the good of all mankind..."

INCIDENT ██-████

(Latest walkie-talkie recordings)

(Static noise and warning signal sound)

Operator One: (Confused) This is operator one. Security protocol has failed! Repeat, security protocol has failed! All subjects... all subjects are at large!

Agent █: Reporting a security breach in Sector 3. Doors unresponsive, cameras disabled. Looks like SCP-███ is out of control.

Commander ███████: be careful! Confirm the presence of the intruder and take action to apprehend him.

(Noise, sound of gunshots)

Agent ██: (panic) This is crazy! Reporting SCP-███ is not alone. There are several other objects present. Very aggressive, we need help, repeat ████████████████ (interference).

Commander ████████: Come in, Agent ██, come in!!! (communication lost).

Commander ████████: Fuck...

Dr. █████: It could be SCP-███! He could have hacked into the security system and released the other facilities.

Commander ████: █████, are you sure? How?!

Dr. █████: I can't say for sure, but... (struggle noise) HOW ARE YOU!? STOP, DOCTOR... (interference).

Commander ████: All personnel to the assault! Stop the targets at all costs! What the hell's going on! Where's all the security personnel!?

(explosions, shouting)

Agent █████: They're all over the place

Agent ██: Where's the ██ squad?

Agent █████: they're holding back SCP-682

Agent ██: he's the last fucking thing we need!

SB-2: SB-1, this is SB-2! We've got-- we've got SCP-███breaking through! We can't stop him!

SB-1: Hold him off at all costs! Support is on the way.

(Siren and explosions)

Operator Three: SB-1, this is Operator Three! The ██ camera signal is gone! SCP-█████... he's out!

SB-1: All SB personnel to camera ██! Isolate SCP-█████! Repeat, isolate SCP-█████! (radio interference)

End of Calm

There has been a massive failure of the entire Foundation security system in Area 19, as well as a power failure. Security protocol, alarms, and warnings went off with a delay with most of the dangerous objects wreaking havoc in the Foundation. The alleged culprit of the SCP-“”" incident. Likely had accomplices, an investigation is underway.

During the incident, a large number of soldiers and staff died. There was a leak of several objects to freedom. The lists of dead and missing were equal. Dr. Snezana Lewandowski and SCP-049 were also listed as missing, among dozens of personnel and facilities.

The SCP Foundation, having suffered loss and damage, is doing its best to restore order after the chaos, but the world is no longer safe as before.

3. Conversations between Lewandowski and SCP-049

Interviewer: Dr. Snezhana Lewandowski, Area 19

Interviewee: SCP-049

[START RECORDING]

Dr. Lewandowski: Good afternoon, SCP-049. I am your psychologist, Dr. Snezhana Lewandowski. It's a pleasure to meet you!

SCP-049: Greetings, doctor, I hope we can work together.

Dr. Lewandowski: I think so! So, how are you feeling today?

SCP-049: (pause) I feel... A burden. A burden that is hard to describe in words. Every day I see suffering, and it depresses me.

Dr. Lewandowski: Are you talking about human suffering? About those whom you refer to as sick people?

SCP-049: Yes. The weathering is not just a physical condition. This world, this wretched piece of the universe, is forever doomed to suffer. (Irritated) Mortals, powerless over their own weaknesses, forever seek salvation in false doctrines and vain hopes. They build cities out of flimsy material, create weapons that can destroy themselves, and cling to life without realizing its true nature. I see their pain, their despair, feel their fear of the inevitable. And I know I can help them. But they don't understand. They fear me! They reject my mercy! They call me a monster, a monstrosity! I see them trying to stop me, lock me up, impose their rules. But can you limit what is beyond their comprehension? Can one defeat that which is eternal? Their attempts are futile. I will always exist. Let them resist, let them fear. It only confirms their blindness.

(A moment's silence)

Dr. Lewandowski: (Sigh)...Have you ever thought about why this “fever” bothers you so much? What exactly causes you to feel so strongly about it?

SCP-049: (sighs) I have witnessed a lot of suffering. I have seen people lose hope, I have seen them fall victim to their weakness. This makes me want to help, but sometimes I feel that my efforts are futile.

Dr. Lewandowski: Do you feel that your help is really effective? Or is there any doubt about your methods?

SCP-049: (with some irritation) My methods are the only way to free people from their suffering! I cannot afford to doubt my vocation. But sometimes... It catches up with me.

Dr. Lewandowski: It is normal to have doubts. Many people face similar feelings. What do you do to deal with these emotions?

SCP-049: I continue my work. I focus on my goals.

Dr. Lewandowski: Maybe you should take time to reflect on yourself and your feelings. It may help you better understand your motivation and calm your mind.

SCP-049: I don't think so, but... You may be right. I worry that if I stop, the darkness around me will consume everything.

Dr. Lewandowski: (Pause)...How I understand that. Sometimes you have to take a step back to see the big picture. It doesn't mean you stop fighting the disease. It can only make you stronger.

SCP-049: Perhaps...

Dr. Lewandowski: This is an important step. And remember, you are not alone in your experience. I'm here to help you make sense of it.

SCP-049: Thank you... I'll try to remember that.

[END RECORDING]

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Interviewer: Dr. Snezhana Lewandowski, Area 19

Interviewee: SCP-049

[START RECORDING]

Dr. Lewandowski: Good evening Doctor, how are you feeling?

SCP-049: It would be better if I were allowed to return to my work.

Dr. Lewandowski: Don't worry Doctor, you will definitely be given that opportunity...

SCP-049: Really? Really!? I'm finally going back to work, I'm glad to hear that! When do I get a patient?

Dr. Lewandowski: ...Unfortunately, I don't have that information.

SCP-049: Maybe you could influence this situation? Explain my urgent need to progress with my treatment!

Dr. Lewandowski: I don't think I can... Doctor, you need to rest, you've been working hard. As a doctor, you should know that rest is very important for high productivity.

SCP-049: (Sighs) I wish I had something to do in these four walls...

Dr. Lewandowski: I have a suggestion. Do you like to read? I can bring you some books if the Foundation leadership says so.

SCP-049: That's a very marvelous idea.

Dr. Lewandowski: What kind of literature do you prefer?

SCP-049: I was interested in modern books about medicine, it is interesting to study what is being written about it now. It would be interesting to read something from philosophy.

Dr. Lewandowski: Excellent choice Doctor, we have the same taste in literature. Would you mind if I brought a couple more books on my recommendation for you?

SCP-049: Sounds good, I agree.

Dr. Lewandowski: See you, Doctor.

SCP-049: See you, thank you for such an interesting proposal, Dr. Lewandowski.

[END OF RECORDING]

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Interviewer: Dr. Snezhana Lewandowski, Area 19

Interviewee: SCP-049

[START RECORDING]

Dr. Lewandowski: Good evening, Doctor.

SCP-049: Good evening, Dr. Lewandowski.

Dr. Lewandowski: I want to understand how you feel when you look at the world through the prism of your...your uniqueness.

SCP-049: (hesitantly) Uniqueness?

Dr. Lewandowski: I'm talking about wisdom. You have lived for centuries, watching the birth and decline of civilizations. What have you learned in that time?

(Minute's silence)

SCP-049: I've seen nations rise and fall, empires born of dust and turned to stone, ideas ignite people's hearts and turn to ash. (Pause). I realized that existence is a perpetual cycle of birth and death, a constant struggle for survival. People are so hungry for meaning, but it eludes them.

Dr. Lewandowski: Isn't this struggle, this longing for meaning, the very essence of being?

SCP-049: (With sadness in his voice) Meaning... (Pause) It wanders like a ghost through the labyrinths of our consciousness. We search for it in religion, in science, in art, but it eludes us, leaving only emptiness.

Dr. Lewandowski: But don't you see, Doctor? You create your own meaning by helping people to get rid of the disease. You believe in what you're doing, Doctor. You believe it's necessary.

SCP-049: Faith... (Pause) This is another one of those ghosts that haunt us. I see things that others do not see, and it pains me. It pains me to see the suffering that is inevitable for all living things.

Dr. Lewandowski: And you're trying to help, Doctor...

SCP-049: (Interrupting) We are but pawns in the hands of fate. Our actions are insignificant in comparison to eternity.

Dr. Lewandowski: Don't say that, Doctor. You are not a pawn. You are the creator of your own destiny. And I believe you will find your path, your meaning.

SCP-049: (Heavy sigh) But not in this place, not here, not now.

Dr. Lewandowski: (Pause) You know Doctor... I'd like to share with you a thought that has been on my mind since I was a child.

SCP-049: What is it that's bothering you?

[recording interrupted for 5 minutes]

Dr. Lewandowski: I almost forgot, the Foundation gave me permission to bring you some books.

(Took several books out of her bag and placed a stack on the table next to the subject)

SCP-049: (With joy in her voice) Glad to hear that! Immensely grateful to the Foundation and of course to you, Dr. Lewandowski.

Dr. Lewandowski: (Smiling) I'm glad it lifted your spirits. See you later, we'll be sure to discuss what we read next time.

SCP-049: I look forward to seeing you.

[END RECORDING]

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Interviewer: Dr. Snezhana Lewandowski, Zone 19

Interviewee: SCP-049

[START RECORDING]

Dr. Lewandowski: Hello, Doctor! How are you today?

SCP-049: Good afternoon, Dr. Lewandowski. I'm feeling... quite well. I've been studying some of the books you brought me at the last meeting.

Dr. Lewandowski: Excellent! Which books did you enjoy the most?

SCP-049: I was impressed with the works on human nature. Their authors convey emotions and experiences in a very subtle way.

Dr. Lewandowski: Yes, literature can indeed be a great way to understand people. Is there anything that surprised you about these books?

SCP-049: I was surprised by how diverse human feelings are. Everyone experiences love, fear, and hope in their own way.

Dr. Lewandowski: Yes, humans are amazing creatures! What about you? Have you ever experienced something similar to love?

SCP-049: (Pause) I'm not sure. My life has been devoted to fighting the windfall, and I haven't given much thought to such feelings. But... sometimes I feel warm when I talk to you. (turns away)

Dr. Lewandowski: I'm glad to see your condition has improved markedly. I feel warm when we talk, too. (Pause) You are an unusually interesting conversationalist.

SCP-049: (surprised) Interesting? I've always thought of myself as rather... odd. But it's nice to hear you say that. You don't hear that very often in this place, in general... I've never heard it from you.

Dr. Lewandowski: Weird people can be very interesting! We all have our unique qualities. For example, your view of the world is something special, not strange. By the way, have you read that novel?

SCP-049: The Master and Margarita? Yes, an interesting work about the power of love and the struggle against darkness.

Dr. Lewandowski: I think there are so many layers and philosophical themes there. You know, you sound like the Master (Laughs).

SCP-049: Hmm... There's something, maybe, and you remind me of Marguerite.

Dr. Lewandowski: (Laughs) That's probably true. Unfortunately, I have to go. Don't forget, you deserve to be understood. And I'm here to help you do just that.

SCP-049: (With a slight sadness in his voice) Your support gives me strength.

Dr. Lewandowski: We all need each other's support.

SCP-049: I look forward to our future conversations.

[END OF RECORDING]

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Interviewer: Dr. Snezhana Lewandowski, Area 19

Interviewee: SCP-049

[START RECORDING]

Dr. Lewandowski: Good afternoon Doctor, I would like to know what your thoughts have been occupied with lately?

SCP-049: Greetings. (Pause) Relatively recently, I've been thinking about the nature of human cruelty.

Dr. Lewandowski: Cruelty... (Pause) Unfortunately, it permeates every facet of existence, like a shadow that follows the light.

SCP-049: Yes. (Sighs) I watch people, and it makes me sad how capable they are of terrible things. There is a darkness lurking in their hearts that sometimes overshadows even the brightest impulses.

Dr. Lewandowski: As it happens, humanity is a paradox. On the one hand, it creates beautiful works of art, science and culture, and on the other hand, it is capable of ruthless acts of violence and hatred.

SCP-049: Exactly. I see how people can be kind and compassionate, but at the same time they easily cross the line into becoming instruments of destruction. It causes me deep sadness and bewilderment.

Dr. Lewandowski: I share your feelings and support your thoughts, Doctor.

SCP-049: It is most gratifying to know that, Dr. Lewandowski. My mission is to rid mankind of disease. At times I am at a loss as to what to do about this inner cruelty? How do you heal a society that is tearing itself apart?

Dr. Lewandowski: You see, many of these atrocities come from fear, ignorance and hatred. Or perhaps they were mentally wounded once, and that wound, without proper treatment, began to fester, infecting the whole mind and soul.

SCP-049: (Interested) I like the way you think. Abuse is not just physical violence. It is also words that hurt, betrayals and indifference to the suffering of others. In each of these acts I see a reflection of the disease.

Dr. Lewandowski: (Sigh) Sadly, dreams of a world where humanity can overcome its cruelty and learn to love are utopian.

SCP-049: I'm not so sure about that. It's certainly not an easy task, the whole world and one me, the road to healing is long and thorny. But the more I work at it, the closer that peace comes.

Dr. Lewandowski: (Pause) Perhaps someday people will realize that cruelty is not part of their true nature. Perhaps they will learn to see in each other a reflection of themselves and learn to care for those who suffer. Perhaps... (Pause) But sometimes you get the idea that some people are so rotten in their souls that treatment will be useless, and the only thing left to do is to rid the world of that person so they don't hurt others. This is not humane, but in such a case it is possible to make sure that this person stays alive but is not capable of hurting others.

SCP-049: (Surprised) Your thoughts make sense. We've had a rather pleasant dialog. I've never had such an in-depth discussion with anyone else. I feel much better.

Dr. Lewandowski: (Smiling) That's wonderful, Doctor, I confess I don't often have someone to talk to about this either.

[END RECORDING]

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Interviewer: Dr. Snezhana Lewandowski, Area 19

Interviewee: SCP-049

[START RECORDING]

Dr. Lewandowski: Good afternoon, Doctor, how is your mood?

SCP-049: Greetings. My mood is a little down, without my work I'm having a hard time mentally.

Dr. Lewandowski: I'm sorry to hear that, Doctor. (Pause) Let me ask you something.

SCP-049: I'm listening to you.

Dr. Lewandowski: Do you have any pleasant memory from your life?

SCP-049: (Sighs) Unfortunately, there aren't many... (Pause) I do recall one. Yes, it was a time when I was out in the wild, searching for rare herbs and plants in the forest. No people and just the sounds of nature. And then I came to a field, a field of lavender. (Sighs) It's... It was a magical feeling. The field was filled with bright colors and the air was full of a light, slightly spicy aroma. I felt like I was in another world, away from my worries. I walked slowly among the flowers, watching the bees as they worked to gather nectar. The bees are not aware of the suffering that humans are experiencing, they are just doing their job, benefiting the world around them. It made me think: maybe that's what humanity needs - the simple pursuit of the good. (Pause) The whole day I was there. It was wonderful. I dream of being in that moment again one day.

Dr. Lewandowski: That's... It's a wonderful memory, very beautiful.

SCP-049: Yes... It's beautiful. You know, I feel a little better.

Dr. Lewandowski: (Smiling) That's wonderful to hear. Try to remember something else, good thoughts can smooth out your condition within these walls.

SCP-049: I'll try. Thank you for encouraging me to remember this.

[END RECORDING]

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Interviewer: Dr. Snezhana Lewandowski, Area 19

Interviewee: SCP-049

[START RECORDING]

Dr. Lewandowski: Good afternoon Doctor, how is your mood?

SCP-049: Good afternoon Snezka. I guess my mood is somewhere between average and good. Good to see you, how are you feeling?

Dr. Lewandowski: I'm not bad. I have something I'd like to give you. I had a hard time getting permission for it from the foundation, but....

(Took out of her bag a small pillow with a lavender flower print pillowcase and placed it on the table in front of the subject).

This is for you. I remember that you don't need sleep, but that's not what it's for. Rather it is for coziness, and your favorable mood. This pillow is stuffed with lavender.

SCP-049: (Surprised) It's for me?! What a wonderful gift, lavender really calms me down.

Dr. Lewandowski: I'm glad the gift is useful to you. I would have brought you something else, but unfortunately the Foundation has only authorized this one so far.

SCP-049: I am honored by such attention, thank you, Dr..... Snezka. (Pause) ...How did I not notice that... Your last name is...

Dr. Lewandowski: (Interested) Hmm?

SCP-049: Lewandowski, that last name comes from the Old Polish word levanda, which means lavender. What a wonderful coincidence, my favorite plant.

Dr. Lewandowski: (Smiles) Yes, that's right, my favorite too by the way. I am amazed at your knowledge, Doctor!

SCP-049: It is a pleasure to be appreciated and understood by you. I must admit, you are not out of my mind.

Dr. Lewandowski: (Embarrassed) Oh... You know, it's mutual. Doctors aren't supposed to have favorites, but I have to admit...(Pause) You're my favorite patient.

(momentary silence)

SCP-049: I wish we could meet more often...

Dr. Lewandowski: I'd like that too, Doctor...

[END OF RECORDING]

Supplement

https://www.tumblr.com/snezka-049/766312832505626624/snezka-and-doctor-reference-and-lore-scp-049?source=share

[haggishlyhagging]

I was standing before the desk of my doctoral dissertation adviser who was angrily telling me that I was not going about my dissertation in a way that suited him. He shouted at me, from his intimidating height, that my master's thesis adviser had told him I had pressured him unmercifully too and hadn't asked his advice either all along as I should have. I asked my fuming educator, as calmly as I could, why my master's adviser had never indicated this to me. I suggested that if he hadn't approved of the way I was proceeding, he should have said something to me at the time. And that since he always signed everything I took to him to sign, and since he had not stood in the way of my receiving my master's degree, I had simply assumed he approved.

Even as I asked the question, however, I knew the answer. I hadn't behaved femininely. I hadn't asked their advice. I hadn't acted as if I weren't capable of doing all this without their help. Hadn't, in short, acted incompetent, helpless, childish, and infinitely grateful for every little scrap of attention or advice they, as superior beings, had given me. I was twenty-eight years old when I began my master's research. I knew exactly what I wanted to do and how to go about doing it. I proposed it to my adviser. He agreed. I did it. That was that—I thought.

Oh, but not so. I didn't lean on him. To me he was just part of the red tape. I cut through him as quickly as possible. And I had no time to linger. Already we had one child and were ready to conceive another. I had to move faster almost than humanly possible, and I did.

Now my doctoral adviser had heard from my previous master that I had not been sufficiently humble and impressed (did not respect the priesthood enough, meaning the men). But this one wasn't going to make the same mistake. He'd show me who was boss. I understood this as women understand it, not intellectually, just in the flesh of my face as he scowled at it, just in the resignation of my weary-with-watching-male-ego-signs flesh. And I knew exactly what to do about it, without thinking, without strategizing—cry. So he would know I wasn't trying to show I was as smart as he was and didn't need him to tell me what to do next. Cry—so he would realize I was just another weak little woman and he had no cause for alarm. Cry—so he would feel bigger and more rational, and still, above all else, still blessedly in control.

So I cried on purpose that day, and because I did I became Dr. Johnson a year later, moving with great speed through a system designed to slow doctoral candidates down. Because I cried.

If men hate to be thus manipulated, then they must allow us to be real, they must not force us to manipulate their egos in order to live a full human life. I hate such machinations. I despise them with all my heart. But women are forced to resort to them because men won't otherwise allow us to exist. And we have a right to life.

-Sonia Johnson, From Housewife to Heretic

[paintedpigeon1]

Are you an adult with ADHD and/or autism?

I’m currently doing a Master's dissertation about how to improve access to public library services for adults with ADHD and/or autism, and I need your input!

If you are over 18, have ADHD and/or autism (edit for clarity: no matter where you live), and would like to help with this, please fill in the survey below by midnight on 8 August 2024.

For more information please contact me on ruth.collard-stayte@city.ac.uk

Even if you're not eligible, please share this post so I can receive as many responses as possible!

(Also you don't want to disappoint the cute brain on the flyer do you?)

[strayheartless]

Not to project my immediate struggles onto my faves or anything but…

The hardest thing Genesis Rhapsodos has ever done is not dealing with degradation. It’s writing his Masters Dissertation for classical Literature.

I can just imagine the whole ordeal is just one big never-ending assembly line of predicaments.

Angeal being the one who has to keep reminding him to do it.

Sephiroth unhelpfully pointing out that procrastination is counterintuitive. Which leads to Genesis launching himself across the table at him.

Angeal being the one to de-escalate his stress related Sephicide attempts.

Sephiroth thinking he’s being helpful by pointing out mistakes over Gens shoulder.

Angeal having to drag Genesis away to calm down.

Sephiroth asking him if he got anything done today?

Genesis having a panic attack because “no, I didn’t. I stared at inane Moogtube videos instead,”.

Sephiroth reminding him how many he days he has left to complete the task every morning.

Angeal having to wipe up Sephiroth’s nose blood from the kitchen floor.

Genesis waking up in the middle of the night to cry, panic, cry and then get cuddled and told he can do it.

Sephiroth telling him certain sections of his argument seem convoluted in places.

Angeal having to help him untangle the barrel brush Gen attacked him with from his hair.

Genesis needing to inform his dissertation tutor that “please hold, my heart is trying to escape my chest” because he got stuck in overwhelmed paralysis for four weeks and has achieved nothing.

Sephiroth suggesting he let this one go.

Genesis unexpectedly bursting into tears over it.

Angeal makes Seph apologies for insinuating Genesis couldn’t manage it.

Genesis finally getting into the flow two weeks before.

Sephiroth having to rescue Angeal from Genesis’ rage when he decides to clean and keeps coming in and out of Gens bedroom.

It getting handed in with the sentiment “I don’t fucking care anymore I’m over it!”

Angeal and Sephiroth watching him panic for the next three weeks while somebody far away takes forever to mark his dissertation.

Genesis repeating that he doesn’t care. He does, in fact, care.

Genesis passing.

Angeal and Sephiroth being proud of him.

Genesis saying “Im never doing that Again!!”

Him doing it again.

Am I projecting? Oh, 100% yeah. Only difference is Im not doing it again!

[everytimewetouch-dot-mp3]

Okay WHAT is Oh look it's Gilgamesh

wip game post here!

oooouuugh yay ok i was hoping someone would ask about this one. it’s a modern au binggeyuan inspired by this post i made a billion years ago.

i’m in the exploratory phase of this one too, but i’ve been putting a lot more work into it lately bc it has become my 2025 writing goal lmao. i’ll talk abt it under the cut :D

…so i just finished writing and it’s a little longer than i anticipated. tl;dr: what if satan from the actual literal bible crawled out of hell and told the pope that he wanted to be friends now because there’s something much worse than himself down there.

so the idea is that luo binghe is a mythological figure somewhat like gilgamesh or odysseus but ‘evil.’ he’s a heavenly demon who, after countless cruelties, decided to take his revenge on the world by inflicting that cruelty a thousandfold. the stories go that he was born in a bid to broker peace between the demons and the humans, but huan hua’s palace master tried to sabotage sxy’s pregnancy and wound up killing her. tlj, in his grief, allowed himself to be captured by human cultivators so that he could plot his revenge in peace.

then we get lbh’s life, being cast into the abyss, coming back and taking his revenge. just when he and his father are about to merge the realms, the human cultivators sacrificed themselves to seal him, his father, and the entire demonic realm behind impossibly powerful arrays. the abyss and demon realm have merged, but the human realm is safe. to protect humanity, the few remaining cultivators hid knowledge of the jianghu and the secrets of cultivation, which explains why there are no immortal cultivators anymore.

there are legends and books and movies and operas retelling this story, always celebrating the heroic cultivators who sacrificed their lives for the rest of humanity and vilifying the endless cruelty of the demons. shen yuan has heard these stories since he was a little kid. you know how some kids have their ancient egypt phase? sy had a ‘myths about luo binghe’ phase, and it never ended. when the story starts, he’s a doctoral candidate writing his dissertation reconstructing luo binghe as a real historical person (which he was) and finding the real events that inspired the myths. he’s been officially working on it for five years at this point, but the dude really started when he was like 12. he kind of despises some of the retellings of luo binghe’s story, because they all vilify him with no compassion, and he feels binghe’s story is less a triumph of humanity and more a tragedy on all sides.

there is no retelling he hates more than proud immortal demon way. the author caricaturizes luo binghe and uses his story to sell shitty porn cranked out at an inhuman pace, and shen yuan thinks it’s despicable. he has to read every chapter just so he knows what this piece of shit author is doing to his favorite character. that’s the only reason why.

at one point, shen yuan is interviewing some people associated with the supposed descendants of the four great sects in the legends, and while he’s there, there’s an earthquake. someone rushes in wielding an actual real life sword? a real sword. that’s glowing a little bit? maybe shen yuan got hit on the head… but no that sword is definitely glowing a little bit. and he says ‘the seal has cracked.’

suddenly the stories aren’t stories anymore, and shen yuan doesn’t know how to keep his nose out of things—he wants to be there if/when luo binghe comes out. right now it’s just monsters, and it turns out the so-called cultivators were…real cultivators. and they’re fighting abyssal beasts.

they expect luo binghe to emerge commanding armies of demons and beasts as he demands his revenge on humanity, but instead he fights his way out, a crazed look in his eye, and insists that he’s going to help the cultivators seal the rift. he won’t take no for an answer. he refuses to allow those beasts to destroy humanity.

[philaet0s]

Six Sentence Sunday

I've finished writing my master's dissertation tonight so I will have more time to write fics now, life is BEAUTIFUL

(I mean, I might not write more. But I will have more time to do it anyway!)

This is from a few days ago:

Baz

“Your… books. You’re still writing those kids books?” Mark asks, and I don’t miss the judgment in his voice.

He’s not the only one to consider that occupation futile. My family are convinced that I should write real books. Something more intellectual, with more value in their eyes. But I’ve done my share of intellectual writing when I worked on my thesis. That’s the only kind of highbrow material I’m capable of producing. Contrary to what the people around me may think, being able to read literature critically does not mean I want or even can write decent novels. Not for adult audiences, anyway.

But children’s books interest me. They’re one of a child’s first window to the world. Even when they’re full of cute animals and princesses, they exist for a reason, to teach the little ones something. They’re not inferior or meaningless. They have an impact. It’s a beautiful thing, to help broaden a child’s perspective.

------------

I love writing Baz passionate about things <333

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[blainehasregrets]

As someone who loves canon Klaine as is, there are a few fundamental things I believe about the ship that only actually furthers my enjoyment of them, that I’m kind of shocked how many people think were OOC, or hate and think of as bad writing.

Here’s a list of things I think are absolutely crucial to understanding Klaine!

Blaine cheating was in character. Kurt cheating was in character.

First of all, both of Klaine love attention, so jot that down.

Regardless of anyone’s personal feelings on the matter, I know people love to argue semantics here how “Blaine didn’t care about Sebastian so it’s different”, the show canonically equates Blaine talking to Sebastian behind Kurt’s back as the same as the situation with Chandler. He said it himself in Dance With Somebody, “Although a while back I was sort of doing the same thing…”. He also cheated on 2/2 of his boyfriends on the show. This is something that’s so consistent with his character and to call it OOC just because someone can’t picture season 2 Blaine doing it, even though there’s 5 other seasons of his character to consider, is just silly to me. I’m all for cheaters!Klaine, I think it’s hilarious and I would have watched them cheat on each other and cheat on other people WITH each other a million times more.

To understand Blaine’s character, and explain how his cheating is in character you also have to get: he could act impulsively and based on emotion, when he was insecure he felt the need to find a way to take back control in a situation (Tested and Puppet Master), and when he felt hurt, he lashed out. This is particular was something we saw again and again throughout the show, and his cheating is just another example of this. I think this post does a good job detailing these things.

I think his cheating wasn’t simply because he was just lonely and he needed some physical reassurance as I’ve seen people say, but also because he knew it would hurt Kurt. However, afterwards he realized that hurting Kurt didn’t fix anything. And this is cycle Blaine goes through quite a few times. Feels hurt -> hurts Kurt -> it didn’t help the situation and actually made things worse.

Now: Kurt texting Chandler. I always find this discussion a little interesting because I feel like it usually goes beyond people’s opinions of just Kurt and Blaine as characters, but also the boundaries they feel about IRL relationships and what actually counts as cheating. Some people think it’s cheating, some people think it’s not, some people think it’s something more in the middle. If you asked me simply, I’d say yes he did cheat. The fact that he didn’t want Blaine to see his texts is proof enough it was cheating. However if you asked and gave me the chance to write a 15 page dissertation on it I’d say…he did cheat but it wasn’t this huge emotional affair people make it out to be. Not even to excuse Kurt because as I’ve said before, I think Klaine cheating on each other is hilarious and I would never take that away from Kurt and if he cheated on Blaine I would only cheer him on, but rather…I just genuinely do think it was a bit complicated! Or rather, I think there was a double standard here that doesn’t negate Kurt’s cheating but does call out Blaine’s hypocrisy more, if what Kurt did was cheating then so was what Blaine did with Sebastian as the show canonically equates them. And I also think it’s interesting that even when Kurt was texting Chandler, he wasn’t truly opening himself up to another person and letting himself be emotionally available to Chandler, that’s where I think it’s less of a full blown emotional affair (but I do, personally, see flirting as cheating even in irl relationships.). It was a very detached, lazy form of cheating. Because Kurt was honestly so lazy sometimes LMAO love that for him though. I also do think there were more reasons Blaine was upset with Kurt in this episode than just the cheating.

I think Blaine singing It’s Not Right But It’s Okay in front of everyone was also incredibly hilarious. Like I love it so much it’s SO funny. This scene also continues to illustrate that Blaine tended to lash out when he felt hurt or slighted, and that he was prone to large public displays of emotion. This is important to understanding Blaine’s character, as it also connects to his performance of Teenage Dream in season 4 and the proposal in season 5.

The season 4 breakup was not out of nowhere.

Blaine had already shown he couldn’t cope with long distance when he transferred to McKinley to be with Kurt for a year, and when he ignored Kurt during DWS because he was upset Kurt only talked about NYADA and New York since he felt Kurt was already moving on without him. Even during Somewhere Only We Know he looks devastated lol and it’s why he even transfers to McKinley, to be closer to Kurt. He always wants to be close to Kurt.

Meanwhile, Kurt had a hard time balancing his new New York life with his old Lima life. Kurt had a very one track mind, and that could cause a detriment to his personal relationships. This is shown in Grilled Cheesus when his dad made a point that they need those Friday night dinners or they might not see each other much, or how he ignored Mercedes for Blaine in The Substitute. This is also already shown to be a problem for him in DWS, where he’s so focused on his excitement for college. When Kurt is caught up with something, it’s hard to break his attention.

Dance With Somebody was foreshadowing. Like, hey, these two guys are definitely going to have more problems down the line and here’s what they’re going to be, it’s not going to be resolved in this single episode.

Three things can be simultaneously true at once: the proposal was beautiful and moving, Kurt had wanted to get married to Blaine because he still showed up to the proposal since he knew about it in advance. However…he still could have felt pressured, after the fact. Or at the very least, he had his own regrets about saying yes and pushed some of the blame for how he was feeling onto the proposal.

I know a lot of people use the box scene and the sleepover deleted scenes as pure evidence that Kurt was 100% sure about getting married to Blaine (as well as that one scene where Rachel talks about Finn proposing to her and Kurt clearly shows he would have said yes if Blaine had asked him). But if we’re going to take deleted scenes as evidence, then we have to consider there’s also a deleted scene where Kurt said he felt pressured during Loser Like Me, that takes place much later and would therefore be his most recent thought on that matter in the timeline, to take into consideration. And even completely disregarding that, I still think you can take his actions throughout season 5 and use them to infer the fact that he felt as if saying yes to the proposal was starting to feel like a mistake.

During the car ride over in Love, Love, Love, Kurt almost seemed like he was being driven to execution lol yet I still think he was blown away and moved by the proposal and he had planned to say yes, which is why he went anyways instead of telling Burt he couldn’t do it. Kurt did want to get married to Blaine, the proposal was a grand gesture that he loved, and he wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. I don’t think it’s fair to paint the proposal as a malicious act (though I will say, it’s not often stated that one of Blaine’s motivations to propose to Kurt was so he couldn’t meet anyone else) because it simply wasn’t. The proposal was a genuine act of love from Blaine, that suited Kurt (he loved weddings, was excited at the idea of a promposal in season 2, and a lot of what he wanted out of a relationship, set up in season 2, was the ability to be public with the person he was in love with just like anyone else. The proposal is in the same vein as him wanting to walk down the halls holding hands with a boy, it’s a representation of the strides the world has made for gay rights and Klaine’s right to be able to express love so publicly just like any straight couple. Believing that Klaine should have had a private proposal instead is, in my opinion, a complete misreading of both their characters and what the ship is meant to be.)

But! As time went on, Kurt began to have doubts. Kurt could have changed his mind the older he got (after all, he was still in high school during the box scene and the Kurtchelcedes sleepover) + the more actual experience he had with being engaged to Blaine, and especially as they had a difficult time even living together. And it really is possible! People change their minds. Of course the way Kurt went about it was super passive aggressive (and I lived for every moment of it) and he didn’t tell Blaine this until it was too late, but I think it’s completely possible he was initially sure about saying yes, but then changed his mind over time as reality began to set in that it wasn’t as easy and fairytale as he thought it would be. A lot of Klaine’s problems stemmed from the fact that they had a hard time grappling between their idealized versions of each other, and who the other really was, which Burt brings up when Blaine asks for permission to marry Kurt (And can I say I just love the fact that Burt said no but Blaine did it anyway lol like it’s another Blaine thing I really love about him. Also that he encouraged Tina to propose to Mike when they weren’t even dating because he still thinks it’s romantic even though it didn’t work out for him), and that could apply to the proposal as well. The fantasy of having such a grand proposal, of being engaged young, might seem different once being faced with reality, and he was beginning to believe perhaps it was a mistake to say yes.

Kurt also repeatedly stated, like in the Purple Piano Project for example, that he didn’t want to get married until he was around 30. So it’s in character that Kurt could have felt they were still too young.

I want to make a better longer post about the proposal because these aren’t even 1/3rd of my thoughts about it…(I have quite a few thoughts about the way Chris chose to act in this scene, I genuinely believe he was going for a “overwhelmed with emotion” look but his eyes were opened so wide that he just look terrified the whole time…) I swear I love the actual proposal! I just think it’s interesting to think of the way it could have affected Kurt and connected to the breakup in season 6. Which…

The season 6 breakup was not out of nowhere.

Tension between Klaine had been building up since season 4. It was clear after the cheating Kurt’s perception of Blaine and trust in general changed, and there was building resentment from all throughout season 5 (especially if you consider that Kurt was growing resentful of the proposal and possibly feeling pressured from it). Even though they did talk about their problems and promised to resolve them like in Tested, I think the June Dolloway arc proved that Blaine could go back on his word if he wanted to, which only furthered Kurt’s doubts. Like Kurt had said, they talked about lying to each other, just for Blaine to lie to him again. At the end of that episode, Kurt told Blaine he was choosing to trust him, and though many people see that as them working out their feelings for good which makes season 6’s breakup come out of nowhere for them, I feel as if that final scene between them showed just how much Kurt didn’t actually believe what he was saying. His body language is incredibly stiff, and the way Chris delivered the lines is almost monotone, as if Kurt is forcing himself to say these things. While body language irl isn’t something you can actually use to judge a person’s thoughts, in acting it is supposed to clue us in to how a character is feeling. And I feel like, even though he was telling Blaine that he was going to choose to trust him, he was just going through the motions of the song and dance they’ve been playing these last few arcs. Inside, he felt like he had already lost a fundamental trust of Blaine and their relationship would not be the same again, and that resentment building all throughout season 5 is going to spill out all at once with his very harsh “Maybe I don’t!” in season 6. That outburst didn’t come out of nowhere, because he spent all of season 5 bottling his feelings.

It’s super cute when Blaine moves back in and Kurt moved the desk back to where Blaine had wanted it though. But it also kind of doesn’t erase the fact that we just watched an entire half season of them arguing.

Blaine dating Dave was in character. And no, I don’t think it was simply a natural cause of them coming from a place with a small gay community. Blaine chose to date Dave for a reason. (And it wasn’t a pure, “just trying to move on” one.)

It’s too much to get into. And maybe many people will not understand... One day I want to fully go into depth about it, but right now I’ll try to explain it as briefly as I can. Blainfosky makes complete and total sense when you understand Blaine’s canon character and his consistent canon actions (and not the fanon version of him), it aligns with the major theme of season 6 which is about regression before moving on. It makes sense when you examine how important Dave Karofsky is to Klaine’s relationship as a whole, his complicated relationship with Kurt, and how their history together isn’t erased simply because Kurt forgave him.

And so, I think Blaine dated Dave for a reason. And that the thing they have most in common was Kurt, and this was purposeful as they even say they got to talking…mostly about Kurt! And so I do think on some level, Blaine was hoping this would hurt Kurt. However, like his cheating in season 4, he realized that hurting Kurt didn’t help himself feel better (and we see it on his face when Kurt runs away during the scene in Scandals in Loser Like Me) nor did it help the situation. And that’s why, when he finds out Kurt is going on a blind date because he’s going to respect Blaine’s relationship, he’s instantly jealous. When they talk about it, Blaine pointedly tells Kurt “like you’ve always said, we’re better off as friends.” At the very least, I don’t think Blaine dated Dave for the intention of moving on (because even the act of going back to Dalton was meant to reflect he wasn’t moving on), because it’s clear through his body language and tone throughout the first half of season 6 that he was hoping to get some sort of reaction out of Kurt. This is especially clear when he accused Kurt and Rachel of taking Jane from the warblers, eager to get a jab in there about Karofsky. And because he was never with Dave for the chance to move on, he was never with him because he genuinely liked him, as soon as they kiss in the elevator Blaine is basically all but ready to have a full blown affair with Kurt lol and he even teases it in Transitioning after Kurt rigs the wheel.

And okay! I get that most of this is not positive stuff, and might make you wonder why I like this or why it furthers my enjoyment of Klaine. And what I think is super important is that these events, that are caused by Kurt and Blaine being the specific people they are, make Klaine a much more interesting and compelling couple than if they were just any old generic “healthy” pairing. These are the things that make Klaine Klaine, these things happened because Kurt is Kurt and Blaine is Blaine! It’s fun to analyze why they chose to do the things they did, to connect this stuff to their other behavior in the show, and I think handwaving it away because someone might think these (very canon) things are OOC or bad writing simply because they wish Klaine was a perfect couple where nothing bad ever happened is a bit…boring? I love that they cheat on each other and on other people WITH each other, that they’re both control freaks (and yes, Blaine is one too, there are two whole episodes about it! I feel like people confuse Blaine being obsessively in love with Kurt with being blindly submissive, when a power struggle between Kurt and Blaine was present several times throughout the show) who sometimes don’t see eye to eye, and that they have issues! It makes them so much more fun! and one day I might write more about the positives of klaine, but these things I’ve listed are genuinely thinks I like about the ship just as much as the “good” things.